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#in the conversation that spurred this thought the persons next words were “oh that’s right you’re like schizophrenic
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It’s so strange to me when peoples first reaction to hearing you hallucinate is “gosh that must be so scary”. I wish I could articulate right now exactly what it is that reaction makes me feel but all I I’ve got right now is it’s strange.
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staticl0ve · 2 years
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Forget Me Not (Connor x Fem!Reader)
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Pairings: Connor/Female Reader Rating: Mature/Explicit/NSFW 18+ Link (AO3): Forget Me Not (oneshot) Words: 3.5k Warnings: Established relationships, angst, death, smut, PnV sex Summary: Post revolution, Connor settles into a new life where he’s chosen a path of marching in protests and writing speeches. He’s met the one and has never been happier. How would he manage if it were to all vanish in the blink of an eye? Notes: Third person POV for a bit, nondescript afab reader/female pronouns. Really wanted to explore some darker, sadder topics involving our favorite android. I promise I’m still the queen of happy endings!
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Do not stand By my grave, and weep. I am not there, I do not sleep— I am the thousand winds that blow I am the diamond glints in snow I am the sunlight on ripened grain, I am the gentle, autumn rain. As you awake with morning’s hush, I am the swift, up-flinging rush Of quiet birds in circling flight, I am the day transcending night. Do not stand By my grave, and cry— I am not there, I did not die. Immortality (Clare Harner)
A ghost haunted Connor.
She did not moan nor groan. Nor did she travel underneath a sheet. She was the crease on an untouched pillow. She was the gap in their bed—not that he bothered pretending to sleep anymore.
S-She was…everything.
How could a machine measure half a century? In daylights? In sunsets? In laughter?
How about regret?
During the revolution, many androids were victims to a massive, countrywide recall. Not all hope was lost, the data in their hardware was still intact and transferred to New Jericho for storage. As androids began to enjoy their new freedoms, hair thin fractures settled between the peace like glass waiting to shatter. Nothing could stop the honeymoon period. Civil rights, land, and bodily autonomy.
The first public union between man and machine caused the last crack in the glass. 
There was outrage.
A minority voice bared their teeth, spurred their followers to act…inhumane. Coalitions formed, going by the nickname Meat Boys, proud men of flesh and bone. They brought guns to protests for ‘keeping’ the peace. Then came written threats and mild property damage, escalating to a massive fire at an android housing block—allegedly.
And then one day, a bomb.
The weapon’s location was clever, placed dead center in a building containing the decommissioned hardware. It was the hope of Connor’s kind to one day resurrect the data. But those lives were technically already gone, stuck in stasis.
So where was our beloved RK800, the brave deviant hunter, in all of this? He left his old detective job to pursue a life filled with speeches and political movements. He thought it was the safer route, talking and marching.
So much for that.
Of all the days his lover decided to grab something from work, she chose today. Something was beeping in the background of their call and Connor had the misfortune of being able to hone in on the exact make and model of the explosive. This was serious, not meant to be left in the hands of an amateur.
“It’s okay. If you think about it this way, humans don’t live nearly as long as androids,” she pondered. “Think of all the lives we’re saving.”
He heard her hiss in pain as her voice crackled over his comms. Their distance only made him feel more helpless.
 “You should be proud of me! All of your self defense lessons paid off. I got to punch out the guy who set this up,” she exclaimed. She never quite mastered punching without bruising herself. Metal clinked and a lid unclasped. “Oh shit, four minutes?”
His knuckles clenched tighter around a steering wheel. The car’s navigation indicated he had only a few miles before the next exit. Two time estimates blinked side by side, one far smaller than the other. Despite the odds being against him, he pushed on.
“Sweetheart. I need you to listen to me—”
“Connor,” she replied sternly, with a defeated sigh. This was an echo of conversations they’ve had before. Arguments on nights where he retreated to the solitude of a cold, dark living room couch. At the last protest, she faced the barrel of a gun and spat back at the opposition, ignoring his advice.
Don’t be a hero. Stay safe.
He was often the first to cave, his shadow darkening their moonlit room.
I am sorry.
No, I’m sorry. Connor, you’re right to worry. It’s only human.
That was the problem wasn’t it?
“Please. You must go,” he begged.
The headlights of his car frantically swayed from one lane to the next as he weaved around late night commuters. Rubber squealed, leaving a trail of black as he raced against the clock. Fire plagued his circuits. Static clogged his head until he felt it may pop off from the pressure alone.
Connor was fine. In fact, he was in the best shape of his life with newly installed upgrades and a more optimal power supply. It was the worst case scenario, him, safe and sound while a timer blipped away the seconds left of their time together.
“There’s got to be scissors around here somewhere. I think…” she paused and he heard a heavy clatter of an object being placed on a wooden surface. “I think this is the only bomb in the building. If I just clip—wait—was it the red wire or not the red wire?”
She chuckled and he barely heard her say “just kidding.” Given the circumstances, it was so like her to try and ease his nerves. It worked and it didn’t, a bittersweet smile rose and fell on his face. A car honked as he swerved.
“You don’t have to do this yourself. Help is on the way,” Connor insisted.
He didn’t know she volunteered to stay behind.
“I can’t just leave. This is gonna take out a major chunk of New Jericho. What if—”
“The others have evacuated. Please, you’re only saving buildings.”
“It’s more than just cement and glass and you know it,” she snapped back.
She owed the androids. One saved her life on a rainy evening, when it was too dark and stormy for anyone to see her strolling into traffic. Connor hadn’t changed out of his old android blazer then, his model number branded into her mind.
They got coffee.
Then dinner. And later, a movie. When he officially asked her to be his, he bought flowers and she bought him a new jacket.
Their union was not an easy one. It took time for loved ones to come around to it. When they did, all was well in their happy bubble. The famous deviant hunter turned lecturer, traveled and talked. He never stopped counting his lucky stars, grateful that he could take her along on his journey.
Silence followed and a mess of blocked up traffic slowed Connor’s car to a halt. Familiar vehicles with flashing red, white, and blue lights whizzed by. It brought him some relief.
“I got it!” she shouted and the beeping faded from the call. She huffed and laughed. “See, I told you it wasn’t going to be so bad.”
A few rooms away, hidden in the basin of a planter, a timer once ticking stopped.
He saw the flash of white long after his processors could accept the sound of the blast. His world came to a halt, his mind tearing seams into reality until he was but a mere observer—a heap of plastic, frozen stiff and utterly useless. Crimson light from his LED bled over his face, spilling into the darkness of his car.
He imagined the worst: her face, dipped in red. Blood, soaking into carpet like spilled wine. Hollow eyes latched onto the ceiling, never to see again.
Streets away, black plume drifted up into the star dusted skies. Sirens blared, trucks in red sped past the intersection. His mouth opened, emptying his lungs in an anguished scream. The call ended only moments ago and still he shouted for her. His grief bounced around the metal shell of his car as if volume alone would summon a response from the other side.
Forgotten in the passenger seat, was her coat, a remnant from their morning stroll.
-
Later investigations would reveal that the blast was small and localized to just her floor. It was likely setup as a cruel contingency plan to ensure collateral damage should the larger bomb fail. She succeeded in saving the data, every byte of it.
There was nothing left of her, no bones to burn for ashes.
Only memories and sorrowful glances from their friends and family.
In place of her body, they planted flowers at her gravesite. An assortment of colorful petals framed her gray headstone. Some were small and blue. In time, the flowers would wilt. Only then would a stray passerby see it; an engraved box, the perfect size for a ring.
In so many ways, she was right. Humans operated on a much shorter timeline than their machine counterparts and yet Connor had hoped—had wanted to know what it may have been like to gaze upon her over the years, to have had her company. Knowing her, she would have laughed while poking and prodding at her face.
“Is this a new wrinkle or did I sleep on my pillow funny?”
“I see nothing that isn’t already the most beautiful thing on Earth,” he would answer, knowing she’d grin at his reply.
“How do you manage to sound charming while saying the lamest things?”
He wished he could hold her now, plant a kiss so deep she’d know that there could be nothing more splendid than a reminder of their years spent together. To have that time…well, it was only a distant fantasy now.
That was all it was, fantasies and virtual constructions. He over indulged with what was and what could have been until her face and voice began to distort. Like old tape recordings or a hard drive in need of defragmentation, what little remained of her became streaks of static, covered in distortions and broken shards of color.
Some nights he was lucky. Intact memories played out like not a day had passed. He could feel her: her throat vibrating with a laugh as he nipped gently on her skin. The light pressure of a hand pushing at his chest.
“Is something wrong?” Connor asked without a hint of genuine concern.
She noticed, palm pressing more firmly against him.
“No marks!” she laughed. “I have a presentation tomorrow.”
He made a noise that sounded like he agreed but his eyes sparkled with devilish intent. Trailing down her chest, he pressed his cheek where her heart hammered between ribs. Steady thumps quickened when his hand slid up her thighs. He could listen to this all night, lie with his head on her chest, wanting to believe it’d beat forever.
“Magic word?” he slurred with his tongue lapping her breast.
“No marks!” she said between bubbling laughter.
Admittedly, this machine took advantage of all his freedoms, namely the one that allowed him to disobey. They’d explored it before in the bedroom, with her eager consent. He had her teetering at the edge for the millionth time when she stopped begging and yanked his hair to insist.
“No,” he smugly replied. “Not yet, love. Color?”
She couldn’t contain her annoyed sigh, nodding and going limp in the bed.
“Green.”
Sometimes, they switched and he role-played as the obedient RK800 he once was. Tonight was one of those nights where he was in that mood. His canines grazed over her sensitive nipples, and he smirked.
“Order me.”
Her eyebrow rose curiously, the corner of her lip mirroring its movement.
“R-RK800,” she began, her voice a low whisper in the quiet of their bedroom.
His frame shivered over her. There was a quality to her voice that always got to him, etched itself between his panels. When he first heard it that one rainy night, he uncharacteristically lingered by her side.
City traffic had resumed, autonomous cars unaware of the accident that nearly occurred. She thanked him through clattering teeth, her clothes drenched from the rain. His arms wrapped securely around her shoulders and waist. The frantic pattern of her breath fogged the cool air. They must have looked strange, standing frozen beneath a streetlight with rain spilling down their necks like two lovers caught in a heartfelt embrace. But even an android new to deviancy could recognize it would be inappropriate to overstay a hero’s welcome. Shortly after, they parted ways. Through luck, she managed to find him before he quit the DPD. Connor couldn’t drink coffee, but he graciously accepted her invitation to talk.
It was the least romantic of settings, a busy cafe at noon with customers accidentally bumping their chairs. She could barely hear him over the clamoring of drink preferences and order numbers. He watched her nervously stir her drink, shrinking shyly whenever they met eyes. She’d never admit it was her doing, but it was her lighthearted and casual suggestion that changed his life.
He wasn’t sure what was next. Becoming a dog walker for Sumo? Pestering Hank about his lunch choices as a health adviser? He was pretty sure the Lieutenant was going to hate that. 
“I dunno much about detective work, but I’ve heard how people talk about you. You’re a hero! You could inspire others just by reaching out.”
She knew a thing or two about public outreach and he had selfishly sought her help with speeches as an excuse to work his way to a date. Connor didn’t expect to love giving lectures and debates. He thought it was more of Markus’ wheelhouse but humans found his awkward charm endearing, reminding them he wasn’t machine perfect.
Their first time was in a hotel, the both of them travel weary and worn from a day at a convention. Her skin was wet, wrapped in a plush bathrobe and his processors were working their hardest to keep him modest. He was going to attempt stasis on the communal couch when she suggested he try the bed.
Connor wasn’t the same man since.
As his model number left her lips, his hand retracted to its android shell, shifting to white and gray as his plastic fingers prodded her wet folds. The data he gleaned never failed to pull a groan from his lips. This was for him: her trust, her love, her lust. Brown eyes bore into hers, coaxing her to say the words he needed to hear.
“What are my orders?”
“Fuck!” she moaned as one finger glided into her. Who was calling the shots? “Connor…”
He blinked slowly, pumping his finger into her. Not a single synthetic muscle betrayed his amusement, his face neutral and blank. She corrected herself, struggling to maintain the level of cool he was presenting.
“RK800, if you do not fuck me tonight, I swear you’re sleeping on the couch.”
“I’m afraid I require more specific directions,” he explained. A second finger joined the first, curling over tender nerves. His cheek twitched as she gasped and squirmed. He was incredibly hard, cock buried between tangled sheets and he was tempted to grind against them to relieve some of the tension.
Not yet, he had to remind himself.
“Is this…” His thumb found her clit, rolling the nub in tandem with his thrusting fingers. “…Not what you asked for?”
Incoherent words muffled behind her palm as she tried to ground herself.
“P-please. I need…”
His chin rested on her abdomen, nose blowing hot exhaust on her twisting muscles. He loved how her back arched as he twisted his fingers.
“Is this not satisfactory?”
A warm, wet tongue flattened over her clit, rolling back and forth as she twitched. Her nails gripped the sheets and she glared at him.
“RK800, I demand you fuck me with your cock,” she finally ordered.
“Your request,” he added a sharp ‘tst’ at the end of the word, “Has been accepted.”
Rising upwards, he hovered over her, his thighs spreading her legs apart. Her calves wrapped around his ribs. Eager to reward her patience, he didn’t hesitate, pushing the head of his cock into her. Nothing could compare to the feeling of the initial stretch, her pillowy walls welcoming his intrusion. It took a few gentle rocks of his hips before he could slide home, her gasps sharp in his ear.
“My stamina is endless,” he muttered into her ear. She already knew this about him, but wanting to be as immersed in the fantasy as he was, she played ignorant. Connor was meticulous, shifting his weight and reliably making her spasm around him. He was coated with her, his cock shiny as it slid halfway out. “Unlike an organic partner, I am capable of maintaining the same rhythm…as long as you’d like.”
He licked a stripe up her neck and towards her slack jaw. She replied with little moans, small eyelash flutters, her nails scraping down the muscles of his back. His sensors warned him of temporary damage should she persist. It only made him thrust harder.
“…If you ask, I could keep you suspended in bliss.”
He studied her carefully, enjoying the beads of sweat that dripped down her brows. His plastic hand lingered between their pelvises, glowing blue with a buzz. Her hips jolted at the contact, first away and then greedily grinding into his fingers. Lines of statistics flickered in his HUD of her arousal state, heart rate, combining with what he could feel of her: pulsing, hot, and alive. He leaned onto an elbow to stroke her cheek.
“Would you want that?” he asked, voice low and husky.
“Yes!”
His hips left a bruising pace and she ached for more, her ankles digging into his back. Parts of his chassis became exposed, patches of shiny plastic spreading across his torso and arms. A vibrating thumb stroked circles around her clit. Her eyes rolled, clamping shut as her breaths quickened.
She did love a machine.
“Connor, I…”
His forehead met hers. Breaking character, he muttered words of devotion, and kissed away tears that clung to her lashes. Small hands held his face in place, her eyes snapping open briefly.
“I…” she tried again.
She mouthed the beginnings of an L-shaped letter before she succumbed to the pressure that finally scorched her nerves. Their lips met as he swallowed her words of affection, his hips trying their hardest to fuse with hers. Her hands threaded through his soft locks as he moaned, spilling as deeply as he could.
He didn’t realize how soon he’d no longer see her teeth sparkling in a sweet smile.
“I love you, Connor.”
After the funeral, Jericho offered their support. A monument was erected in front of the repaired building, a permanent reminder of his loss. It was more than his machine heart could bare. Once Connor suffered the loss of another human companion, he left Detroit in search of distractions, either in the form of work or a pretty face that looked vaguely like hers.
Nothing ever came close.
It was the 50th anniversary of her death and Connor received a message from the one and only deviant leader, Markus.
“It’s been too long old friend. Come back to New Jericho. I promise it’ll be worth the visit.”
And return he did, driven by a hopeful promise.
Once androids became active participants in society, technology advanced faster than ever before and well, the sky was the limit. The impossible became possible. Organic could become synthetic.
Deep in the vaults of New Jericho was something too good to be true. A gift of extraordinary circumstance.
Stainless steel doors, thick with a dull sheen held a blurry reflection of the RK800’s silhouette. He dressed in the hopes of appearing familiar, in a style that matched his old gray suit. In one hand was a bouquet of roses with small blue flowers intermingled in the red petals.
Forget me not.
One by one, three bulbs beside the door lit up: red then yellow. A screen produced wall after wall of status checks, all passing with flying colors. Idle fingers began tapping anxiously on his slacks.
rA9. Please. Please.
With a ding, everything flashed green. Air hissed and popped, the doors sliding open as light flooded the room. His tense expression broke, his face lifting in relief.
“Connor?”
You blinked, uncertain. A ring of light cycled on the temple of your head, flickering red then gold. Everything was new and old, byte after byte of sensory overload. Your eyes landed on his face and used it as a familiar anchor. You were a ship lost at sea, finally finding safe harbor. Connor was exactly as you remembered him: a little awkward and perfectly handsome.
“Connor!”
He collapsed to his knees as you moved forward for an embrace. The flowers fell, rolling between your feet. Nothing else mattered.
Only you.
His hands were everywhere, on your face, patting down your back, gripping your arms and back up to your face where he held you at eye level.
“You’re here,” he whispered. “Y-you’re really…here.”
Your eyes crinkled with a soft laugh. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting.”
No longer was the voice in his head a worn and faded memory. It was right beside him with a breath that warmed his cheeks. Perhaps now, he could resuming measuring time in daylights, in sunsets, and in laughter.
Or…
How about love?
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hooman4ever · 3 years
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‘Don’t Talk to Strangers- or Do I Guess’ !SFW! Stu & Billy x Male Reader
Contains: Home Invasion, Crackfic Energy
You were home alone- usually, this wasn't a big deal as your parents liked to make a habit of going off at random times in the day or night leaving you to fend for yourself. It's been that way for as long as you could remember so it wasn't a complete shock to you when you went downstairs at eight o'clock PM to see the driveway empty, both of your parents' cars gone. A shrug later and you were off starting your nighttime plans. Beer and assorted junk food in hand you began your walk to the living room where you discarded the snacks on the table in the middle of the room separating the sofa from the Tv.
Fishing out your hidden collection of horror movies you dug through the films before pulling out your favorite. Just as you went to pop in the tap and let the film roll you heard a loud creak from somewhere down the hall. Laughing, you stilled your eyes wide.
Another creak and a few almost inaudible curse words later you had sighed, placing down the film before turning towards the dark hallway. You had collected yourself taking a few deep breaths before screaming at the top of your lungs "If there is a murderer in this home I do not consent to you stabbing me so, therefore, it's not okay!" after saying your peace you had turned back to your film scoffing before you remembered something "Also I am very sensitive so shut up it's rude to interrupt someone who's watching a movie." you added glaring into the seemingly never-ending darkness of the hallway. "Please and thank you very much," you muttered just as the VCR ate the tape and the television spurred to life black and white pictures appearing on the screen.
Before you could turn to go to sit on the couch once again the floor creaked however this time the noise was much closer to you. Once again you turned but now a man dressed in black robes with a white screaming ghost mask on. "RUde," you said just as the person lunged at you with a knife in hand. You had simply stepped out of the way allowing the person to fall face-first onto the floor before you stomped on their back and ran away into the darkness of the hallway before making a break out of the front door.
You had run to one of the neighbors' houses and told them what had happened albeit leaving out the parts to where you were conversing with said intruder. The last thing you needed was to end up in a mental institution.
The next day during lunch period you had dramatically walked up to your group of friends before dropping your lunch onto the table, pausing, and then sitting down. Tatum had laughed now giving you her full attention as Stu and Randy bickered over something. "What's got your panties in a bunch?" Tatum asked, eyeing you with an almost flirtatious smile on her lips. "Didn't ya hear? Hear on the news he got attacked by some masked intruder last night." Randy pipped in now overly interested in the conversation. "Oh my god, are you alright?" Sidney asked leaning closer to you and away from Billy who sat with his arms around her.
"Im fine," you said before taking out the sandwich you had haphazardly thrown together early that morning "The jerk attacked me just as I was sitting down to watch one of my favorite horror movies." you paused to take a bite before swallowing the sandwich much too bland for your taste "I even told them to politely fuck off after they had the balls to be so loud," you said flicking off no one in particular to further your point. "The nerve of some people." you finished setting down the unappetizing sandwich defeated.
The group was unusually silent except for Randy's poorly hidden laughter.
"Okay so let me get this right." Tatum said disbelief in her tone "You told a literal intruder in your home to fuck off." you nodded your head not grasping what she was getting at "and you knew they were there before they attacked you." once again you nodded not a thought behind your eyes. "WHy didn't you just leave when you first knew they were in your home?" She said her voice rising a few octaves. "It's not my fault!" you retorted back holding your hands up in defense "How was I supposed to know the person in my house had no manors!"
Tatum threw her hands up before standing up brushing Stu's lingering hands off of her "Nope, not today Sidney you can deal with him. Im going to the restroom." with that Tatum was walking away her heels clicking on the linoleum floors of the school. "What's her problem?" you said scrunching up your nose.
"[Y/n]," Sidney said so you turned to her with a smile on your face "Do you understand why what happened last night was bad?" she asked a strained smile on her own. You took a second to think about the answer before nodding your head "I think I do," you said and Sidney relaxed going to speak again "It's cause they didn't let me watch my god damn movie. Then they had the nerve to try and stab me!" Sidney let out a sigh rubbing the bridge of her nose before muttering a "Close enough."
Just then Randy lost it bursting out in full-blown laughter along with Stu as Billy just looked at you like you were a complete and utter idiot. "[Y/n]," Stu said pausing to wipe none existent tears from his eyes "Your surely something," he said his voice growing louder towards the end of his statement. "Thank you, Stu," you said smiling leaning your chin on the palms of your hands while your elbows dug into the tabletop. No one seemed to notice the slight blush that formed on your cheeks as Stu conversed with you Billy interjecting every now and then when Stu got too loud or obnoxious but you really didn't mind.
After lunch, the rest of the day was a boring blur of class after class or to you at least nap after nap until you were happily walking through the halls of the school.
You were walking along to a tune in your head and you were completely wrapped up in your own little world so you didn't notice the object blocking your path till it was too late. You walked face-first into a closed-door and fell on your ass. Your nose hurt and laughing quickly echoed through the halls despite the pain in your face you stood back up before flicking off the heavy wooden door and the people in the school halls. Holding back tears you refused to even acknowledge you kicked the door open angrily and stormed out middle fingers raised high.
To make things worse on your way out you happened to run into the Himbry who was looking at you his expression unimpressed as your middle fingers were still held in the air.
"Office now."
Those two words seeled your fate and with slumped shoulders, you marched into the dull office. You zoned out as he talked scolding you for your grades and attitude stating how inappropriate your actions were and how he would half to contact your parents on the matter. Just great you thought as you walked out of the school the parking lot now completely vacant.
Just fucking great.
You were sitting in your room back against the door as your parents yelled downstairs their voices so loud it felt as if they were shattering your eardrums and piercing into your brain knocking around your skull violently. Even with your headphones in their voices still prevailed being the sole melody rotting your brain slowly.
The yelling stopped abruptly as a door slammed shut before soon being followed by the roar of an engine and the screeching of tires. After a few more silent moments a loud crashing could be heard followed by an angered shout. More slamming doors and another engine before you were once again left alone. You preferred it this way you thought as you stood your smile feeling hallow as it danced on your face. Pushing open your bedroom door you made your way out of your safe space into the too empty halls.
When you heard another creak from somewhere behind you you stopped for a moment the tips of your fingers brushing against the too empty wall beside you. As you looked at the empty space you wondered if a picture should have hung there. A framed photo displaying a happy family with smiling faces, maybe a dog. The thought was silly since you knew no photos of your family at least looked like that and you didn't think they ever would.
Letting your hand fall back to your side you continued walking through the halls footsteps following you. "It's kinda funny," you said just as you entered the kitchen leaning on the counter the intruder- intruders now in your view the both of them dawning the same attire and scream mask "They brought me into the world thinking I would bring them happiness," you paused as you let your eyes trace the patterns on the counter "But it seems all I've done is fuck up their perfect marriage." despite the overwhelming sadness forming a lump in your throat you laughed.
Slowly you let yourself slide to the floor in front of the counter letting your arms fall by your side. Soon both of the intruders were in front of you the both of them looking at your before each other sharing an unreadable conversation meant for the both of them only. "Oh no. Don't kill me!' you joked lifting your hands in front of your face "Ahhhh." you quietly said.
You were sure you looked pathetic lying on the floor in front of two strangers that were most likely there to end your life but at that moment you couldn't care less.
Much to your disappointment the both of them turned walking away from you. You sat up hands in your lap as you pouted "Your leaving?" you asked not quite hiding the disappointment in your voice. They both paused at the question before the shorter one turned his neck nodding in your direction. "Lame..." you said letting your voice trail off "Ya know you could at least watch a movie with me to make up for yesterday," you said your shoulders slumping.
Happily, you munched on popcorn as a gloved hand reached forward taking a handful before it disappeared under their mask. You were sandwiched between the two as the Tv flickered the actors on screen were running from a killer and oh would you look at that. They tripped. "Why do they always need to trip!" you exclaimed leaning your head on the taller one's shoulder just in time to feel him shrug.
A scream was ripped from the television as the girl was killed "Shocker." you said stuffing another handful of FRESHLY popped corn kernels coated in salt into your mouth. (I was way too amused by describing popcorn that way.)
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iwadori · 3 years
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Oh my God, I just saw your angst iwa fic with the pregnant reader and then looked for more fics on your blog and I fell in love with it???❤❤ + ayeee another demon slayer lover here 😭can I maybe be an emoji anon?:"D I would love to chat with you but a little bit to shy
And I hope its also okay if I request something: Can you maybe do Tendou and Iwaizumi making the reader insecure? ( maybe where the reader gets jealous/ insecure because some fangirls are flirting with them and they say something like "maybe you are to insecure/jealoue" and they are scared that they will leave them?)
Hope you have a great day <3
When they make you insecure PT 4/ Dating your brothers teammate PT3
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When they make you insecure:
Part One  Part Two  Part Three  Part Four Part Five Part six
Dating your brothers teammate:
Part One Part Two Part Three
Word Count: 2.1K
Genre: angst,fluff
masterlist
Authors Note: Thank you so much for liking my other works, and OF COURSE you can message me/be a continous anonymous ask. BTW if anybody wants to privately message me just to talk or whatever or ask me questions on my asks they can!! And IK this wasn’t technically what you asked for but I hope this is good enough <3 (I will most likely do Iwaizumi in the next part) by the way this is NOT proofread (so expect mistakes)
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Tendou
You and tendou have been talking since you were in your first year and his second.
So you weren’t officially dating.
He was interested in what the second ushijima would be like.
You were just like your brother, sharp and stoic but great in everything you do and it seemed that Tendou took a liking to that.
You entered your brother's dorm room in the hopes of finding Tendou, but unluckily it was just Ushijima reading his magazines. “He’s not in here,” he said before you could even ask about your crush's whereabouts.  
As you were about to leave the room, Ushijima asked you to sit down for a moment so he could to you “yess toshi?” you said already bored.
“Are you and Tendou dating?” he asked
“Umm I-” You didn’t really know what to say, since you and Tendou haven’t officially put a label on things (as much as you wanted him too.) “Not really dating per se, just going through the motions...i guess” you said with uncertainty.
“Going through the motions?” Ushijima questioned more to himself then to you.  
“Don’t worry about it Toshi” you say ruffling his hair
“I’m just checking to make sure you’re okay Y/N” he said seriously “Oh and by the way when you and Tendou are about to have se-”
“La La La La La” you say putting your fingers in your ears “I do not need a sex-ed lesson from you nii-san" you swiftly leave the room a tad bit grossed out.
“Oh and by the way Tendou is probably in Eita’s and Kenjirou’s room.” he calls.
You excitedly skip over to Semi’s and Shirabu’s room happy to see your boyfriend ‘friend.’ Walking to the door, before you open it, you hear Tendou talking to Semi and Shirabu and the conversation topic seems to be about you.  
“How are things going with Y/N Tendou” Semi asked “You’re practically dating now. Right?”
“Well Semi-sem, I wouldn’t say that...” Tendou said, making you furry your eyebrows in confusion. “Y/N is a bit, you know... what’s the right word” he thinks, “Boring.”
You step back abit from the door, shocked. ‘Boring?’ How were you boring... You were hurt. Especially since you’ve heard the insult of you being boring your whole life, you knew that you took after your brother in most aspects but that didn’t make neither you or your brother boring. You’ve even have voiced that specific insecurity (about you being boring) where Tendou always assured you that you were the most interesting person he’s ever met.
You went back into Ushijima’s room since it was the closest place and you knew you could always go to your brother whenever you were upset or just in need of someone to listen to you rant about anything. Upon your entering, Ushijima looks up at you and before he could ask what was wrong you wrapped your arms around him and just burst out crying. Awkwardly, Ushijima pats your back not really knowing what to do. He waits for you to calm down before asking you “What’s wrong Y/N?”
“h-he called me boring...” you cried again slightly, “I heard him talking with Semi and Shirabu”
“Well I don’t think you a boring, not at all Y/N” he said handing you a tissue so that you can wipe your eyes and blow your nose “Do you need me to talk with him?”
“No!” You exclaimed “Don’t talk to him...I’ll handle it.” You knew that him and Tendou talking wouldn’t turn out right, because you weren’t even dating in the first place and Ushijima would definitely deep the situation more then needs be.  
“Ushiwaka I brought some snacks for us” said a cheerful sounding Tendou entering the room. His voice faltered when he saw a teary eyed you wrapped up in her brothers arm. “Y/N-chan are you alright?”  
“Yeah I’m fine” you respond dryly “Well I’ll be going...thanks Toshi”  
You leave the room not looking Tendou in the eye leaving him confused. He thought you would be happy to see him, although he knew you weren’t officially ‘together’ or whatever so he didn’t get why you seemed mad.
“Hey Ushiwaka, what’s wrong with Y/N” he asked  
“She said I am not allowed to discuss it with you.” Ushijima replied flipping through his magazine
‘So there is a problem..’ Tendou thought trying to think of things that could spur up your problem with him.
When you were heading to your room, you bumped into Semi and Shirabu who seemed to be heading towards your brother. “Hey Y/N” they greeted simultaneously
“hi guys..” you said sniffling  
They could see that you were sad and didn’t want to pry, so in an attempt to make you feel better Semi said “One of our friends, I think someone from Karasuno is having a party do you wanna come with us.” Just then, a lightbulb went off in your head and you thought of the best idea to really show Tendou you aren’t boring and you can also make your ‘boy’ friend jealous at the same time.
You immediately perk up and smile at the boys surprising them, “Sure, I'd love to go pick me up at 8?” you ask making them nod as you rush back to your dorm room to find something to wear.  
After basically emptying your wardrobe, you find something to wear (a little black dress to be precise) you couldn’t deny that you were hot in general but right now in this dress there was no dispute about how beautiful you are.
Semi knocks on your door right at 8pm, his eyes widening seeing how you look. You gave him a knowing smirk making the tips of his ears go red, “should we be going now...?” you ask as he was stood there frozen staring at you,
“Uhm yeah sure” he said awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck feeling a little bit embarrassed.
Entering the party, a lot of eyes were on both you and Semi in jealousy and in want. You were both the most attractive ‘couple’ in the room and it was obvious that you both knew that. Tendou was already there sitting in the corner of the room with the rest of the Shiratorizawa boys, he had of bit of anger brewing in the pit of his stomach at the sight of you on Semi’s arm.
“Semi! My twin, welcome to the party!” Yelled a boy who looked kind of like Semi, making Semi roll his eyes
“Hi, I’m Sugawara but you can just call me suga” he says to you extending his hand “and you are...”
“Oh Hi! I’m Ushijima Y/N” you replied back giving his hand a shake
“I see, Ushiwaka’s little sister...cute” he says smiling in your face “Well I’ve got to now and make sure certain teammates of mine aren’t blowing up my house or anything so talk to you soon”
“You do kind of look the same Semi” you say to him teasingly
“Oh, shut up Y/N” he says jokingly making you laugh pretty loudly putting your arm on his bicep (forearm I don’t know the body part lol.) You look over to Tendou and you could tell he was getting bothered by your interaction with Semi making it even more enjoyable to you.
“Semi, do you wanna dance?” you ask batting your eyelashes at him, throwing him off. “Um okay.”
You were being a bit wild with your movements whilst dancing with Semi (since you’re obviously not the usual party-goer) but you were enjoying yourself nevertheless.  
“Are you okay Y/N?” Semi asks you  
“Yeah why wouldn’t I be” you respond
“Um...it’s just that you’ve been a bit weird tonight and I’ve seen the staring matches you and Tendou have been having” he says “Is everything alright with both of you?”
He leads you over to somewhere more private so that you could properly talk, “So what's been going on with the two of you.”
“You should know more than me Semi” you sigh “You were there when he called me boring”
“I don’t think he meant it th-” he starts  
“I don’t care what he meant to be honest, I just wanted to prove to him more so prove to myself that I’m not boring. Cause I don’t think I am.” you say
“You’re not Y/N” he says looking at you “Of course you aren’t.”
“I guess so... it doesn’t even matter I shouldn’t even be so upset, since me and Tendou aren’t actually dating.” you mumbled looking away
“Tendou really likes you Y/N” he says turning your body so you’re so looking at him “He talks about you all the time, since he thinks you’re amazing.”
You’re now staring into each other's eyes “And that’s because you are amazing Y/N” his words make you smile and look down slightly. Maybe it was just because you were both in the heat of the moment, but Semi lips up your chin so you’re both directly in front of each other and you then subconsciously lean into his face closing your eyes (with him doing the same.) And just as your lips were about to touch you hear a,
“What the fuck is happening here!” you look to your left and see both Tendou and Ushijima. With Tendou having his mouth agape and Ushijima having his usual monotone expression on. Tendou rushes over to you and grips your arm pulling your arm up, making you wince slightly and him lessening his grip on you. He pulls you into the bathroom and sits you down on the toilet (the lid is closed) and he leans against the sink.
“What’s your problem with me Y/N” he says sounding pretty fed up.
“Nothing...I don’t see why you care … It’s not like we’re dating or anything” you say mumbling the last part.
“Oh so that’s your problem!” he exclaims, kind of happy that he cracked the code on why you were mad at him.
“No my problem is that you think Im boring” you whine  
“Boring... I don’t think I ever sai-” he pauses realizing what you were referring too “Oh you heard me when I was with Semi-sem and Shirapoo... we thought we heard someone outside”
You sat there with a bored expression on your face waiting for an explanation, “I never said you were boring, well I did. But I assume you miss what I really said was ‘Boring. No that’s also the wrong word too she’s blunt it’s like I’m talking to a girl version of Ushijima sometimes it’s spooky.... but besides that, I really like her’ that’s what I said”
Oh, ‘I guess that makes sense,’ you think... because you were shocked that Tendou would call you boring in the first place so it makes more sense that he didn’t even fully mean that and you just didn’t hear the full thing.
“Oh” you say, looking down feeling a bit embarrassed  
"I really like you Y/N... and I know you’ve been waiting on me to ask you to be my girlfriend and I’m sorry for not doing it sooner, I just didn’t think we needed a label since we both knew what we were” he says kneeling down to be at your eye level “But obviously when I saw you dancing and flirting with Semi I realised what I gotta do... so Y/N Ushijima my ‘miracle girl’ will you be my girlfriend”  
“Of course,” you say giving him a hug  
“Oh, and Y/N...” he starts “were you really about to kiss semi” he asks in a jokey way “you would’ve been left with a permanent scowl left on your face” making you laugh.
After spending quite some time in the bathroom with Tendou, you finally leave and see Ushijima just standing outside patiently waiting.  
“Umm Toshi-nii what are you doing?” you ask  
“Just making sure you’re okay Y/N.” he says looking at both you and Tendou and then your hands that are holding each other's “Ahh I see you two are now boyfriend and girlfriend”
“Yes indeed we are Ushiwaka, I finally asked her!” Tendou replied
“Oh that’s good.” Ushijima nods at both at you as you start walking off to return to the party “Also Tendou, when you and Y/N have se-”
“Gosh Toshi, stop with the sex talk” you say putting your hands on your ears making Tendou laugh.
You and Tendou have so much fun in your relationship, always enjoying the time you spend together. There were no big problems with you two, besides minor arguments but if there ever was a problem you could always go to your big brother who had the best advice to give whether it was on relationships, plants or sex.
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mercy-burning · 3 years
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Your Favorite — Part 1
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: When Y/N comes home from college for the summer to meet her mom's new boyfriend, she finds herself in a rather tough spot when she can’t stop thinking about him— And it seems he feels the same... Category: SMUT (18+) Content: Adults w/ age gap, masturbation (female and male), minor exhibitionism kink, oral sex (male receiving), penetrative sex, breeding kink (kinda? i think? 😅) Word Count: 7.3k (do you see now why I had to make it a miniseries? alsdjfdk)
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | MASTERLIST
DISCLAIMER: In this story, Spencer is dating Y/N’s mom while also having a sexual relationship with the reader herself. Because of that, there are obvious undertones of cheating, alongside some perv-y tendencies when it comes to a partner’s daughter. That being said, Spencer and Y/N’s relationship is consensual. However— If any of what I just forewarned is something that you think will make you uncomfortable while reading, please do not read! If there are any more disclaimers you think I may have missed, don’t hesitate to tell me! There is another post I made HERE with some disclaimers as well if you want to know more about what this story will entail.
NOTE: This intro is already too long, so I’ll just get this out of the way: you can find visual nsfw inspirations for this story over at @mercy-midnight, I’m working on a playlist for this story on my Spotify @/mercyburning, and I don’t know when part 2 and 3 will be out, but you can assume they’ll be here within the next few weeks.
———
JUNE 5th
I hate my mom's new boyfriend.
For the past three months she'd been telling me about this new guy who's "The One" as if "The One" hasn't been like four other guys in the past two years.
And as much as I'd love for my mom to find someone to spend the rest of her life with, I don't believe she'd ever find Mr. Perfect at this rate. Unless she spent more than a few months with them at a time before dragging me home from college for a weekend to meet them, I really don't see it happening.
It just sucks. Because every time she does this, every time I return home, I see the glimmering hope in her eyes and the diminishing spark in his, and I know. I know it won't last, and her heart will be utterly broken within the span of a few months.
I always thought maybe she just had terrible taste in men.
But this time around, when I begrudgingly walk through the door of my childhood home for the summer and see my mother clinging to a man who returns that glimmer in her eyes, I know she's picked a good one.
And I hate him.
His name is Spencer Reid, and he's a retired FBI agent who teaches full time at local colleges now.
He greets me with a bona fide, radiant smile, unlike all the others before, and it sets my insides on fire. And when we sit down for dinner, he's polite (but not in a fake way,) and he seems genuinely curious about my studies and my personality and my relationship with my mother. And when dinner is finished he offers to clean up while Mom and I settle in the living room.
I see the way he looks at me as I leave, a gentle, closed-mouth smile and eyes that linger a little too long on my exposed legs before averting, a glint of shame pooling within them, and it only spreads that fire in my belly.
Maybe I'd been imagining the whole thing, because deep down I wanted him to look at me the way he had... But it's hard to tell when my brain is mostly setting off sirens, blaring "THIS IS WRONG! THIS IS WRONG!" on a loop with blinding lights.
And they're even louder when my mom wraps her arm around me and lays her head atop mine. "Well, what do you think? He's great, huh?"
She's so lovesick, it hurts. It hurts even worse knowing that all I can think about is his big hands wrapped around my throat while he fucks me into the squeaky twin-sized mattress in my bedroom upstairs.
But I can't tell her that, obviously.
And so I decidedly hate him. And I have no choice but lie to her face, embracing her joy and hoping that I'll be able to survive this summer.
"Yeah, Mom. He's really great."
JUNE 19th
It's been two weeks and I can barely stand to be in the same house anymore.
I try to keep myself busy by going outside, to the beach or for long walks in the park; but it's too hot for my liking, and our town is so small that unless I want to spend my time in the grocery store or one of the three bars on Main Street...
I'm stuck either outside where it's hot and uncomfortable, or in the house where it's also hot and uncomfortable.
We have air conditioning, of course, but that's not the problem.
It's Spencer.
I thought by now my little crush on him would have gone, but the longer he hangs around the house, the stronger my feelings for him grow. They're not romantic—nor do I think they ever could be given the fact that if anything serious really were to ever happen between us, my mom would disown me for the rest of my life and murder Spencer with her bare hands—but that doesn't make it any easier on me.
Every day he just exists, right in front of me with that tug-able mop of hair, those warm honey eyes, and his hands that never stop moving. I swear, it's like every time he breathes, his hands are breathing too, challenging me to try and stop them.
But I refuse to touch him. Because I know the moment I do, all will be lost. I won't be able to control myself anymore. And if I don't drop to my knees and try sucking his dick at the dinner table, I'm sure I'll blurt out how I can't handle it anymore and that I need him, and either way I'd be royally fucked.
Right now he's in the dining room, teaching my mom how to do a disappearing card trick. She thinks it's utterly charming that he can do it at all, but mostly that he's patient and willing enough to teach her. And normally I'd agree, but I can barely look at them without wanting to waltz over, grab his wrist, and suck his fingers into my mouth.
It's truly pathetic.
So I try to focus on the television just a few feet away. It's one of those rare instances where I wish our house was bigger, because while I don't mind having less wall-space between rooms, I do mind not being able to watch TV without the kitchen table in my periphery at a time like this. And I think about going up to my bedroom instead for a moment, but I'd have to go past the kitchen, and I just know Mom is going to ask if I'd want Spencer to teach me his magic trick.
And I most definitely do not want that.
In another life, maybe, where he isn't a hot professor and rather an average-looking dude who's way too into fantasy football... But not in this lifetime.
So there I sit, concentrating so hard on Family Feud that my face hurts.
When I hear a flutter of cards and joyous giggling from the other room, it's more than my face that hurts.
It's also my chest, churning and tensing at the hands of the green devil.
Fuck!
I barely even know this man... I haven't really talked to him because I'm afraid that if I try to hold a conversation I'll snap. He's literally just some hot older guy who's dating my mom, and still, my whole body twists and aches with envy when they do anything together, and it fucking sucks. Not only because of the jealousy, but it's also the fact that my mom deserves to be happy.
This time it's different. This time, she's really found someone who returns her every loving gaze, who makes her laugh, who's kind and genuine and not a total douche. She's happier than I've seen her in years.
And the one time she finally finds "The One", every waking second of my life is spent longing for him fuck me.
But it's only been two weeks.
And it's also been nearly two years since I got laid, so maybe that's just my issue...
I figure it can't hurt, so in a spur of the moment decision, I turn the TV off and sprint towards the stairs, right past Mom and Spencer before they can ask questions.
———
I hardly even register the dimness of the light inside the house by the time I glide up the steps, fumbling with the key and trying to make my entrance as quiet as possible. Though, because I'm so used to the dark by this point, the light—no matter how dim—nearly blinds me. The door shuts louder than I'd have liked, and I cringe inwardly, pausing as if that will keep anyone from seeing or hearing me. Not like it'll matter, considering Mom and Spencer are the only ones that are staying here and they'd also been the only ones aware of my plans for the evening.
Well, somewhat, anyway. I told them an old friend invited me out and I probably wouldn't be home until late.
Regardless, that instinct of trying not to get caught coming in late at night is stronger than common sense. Throw a little cheap beer and some shots into the mix, and it almost feels like I'm a teenager again.
The only thing different now is that I have a pool of some stranger's cum soaking my underwear and a man in front of me who stands like an angel. An exhausted, almost scruffy-looking angel more like, but my point still stands.
"You're up late," Spencer observes. It's a simple enough statement— not really judge-y, but I can tell that regardless of his knowledge of my coming home late, he seems shocked to see me coming through the front door right now.
And it's hard to look away from him. Just like it has been for the past two weeks. Still, I try, just barely avoiding his eyes as I cross my arms and fight the urge to clench my legs together. "I'm a whore. What's your excuse?"
Maybe not the best thing to say. But like I said, common sense? Gone.
"O—oh... Umm..." Spencer stumbles through his words, obviously stunned by my response, and the look in his eyes kind of makes me want to curl up in a ball and die from embarrassment. Still, I stand my ground and wait for him to continue.
He settles on a short, "I can't sleep," and then there's nothing else.
"Ah," I express. One syllable. I don't draw it out, I don't exaggerate it... This is the first real conversation I've had alone with him, and I've made it extremely awkward, so I sigh and take a few steps forward, trying to walk past him. "Okay. Goodnight."
I only make it a few steps before he stops me, his hand reaching out to tap my shoulder. "Wait—"
The touch makes me jump, and he pulls it away immediately as I turn to face him. My heart is racing at the speed of light, my panties are soaked through, and if I'm not careful that whole 'no common sense' thing is going to bite me so hard in the ass I won't have one left.
"Can I talk to you?" His voice is barely audible, and the gentle rasp it has to it seems to make me even more wet.
I nod, not trusting myself to speak.
"Look, I um... Your mom has been totally transparent with me about her relationships, so I know that she's been through a lot of them in a short amount of time... And I know that must be a little difficult for you. Especially now that I'm here... And you've been... distant. And I know that I don't know you that well, so forgive me if I'm assuming anything, but I just want you to know that I don't have any intention of making things difficult for you and your mother."
Too late, pal, I think bitterly, the gentle authority in his tone setting my insides alight. I'm positive that voice could get me to do so many things...
That's the alcohol and sex talking, Y/N, just shake it and move on...
He starts again, but I cut him off with a short wave of my hand. "Look, I... I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I had a really long night, and I'm exhausted. I just wanna shower and go to bed."
I expect more resistance, but Spencer only nods. I still can't bring myself to look him in the eye, though this time I catch his hands clenching at the bottom hem of his shirt. "I understand. Sleep well."
Without another word I turn on my heel and walk a little faster towards the stairs, and I'm about to take my first step when I realize he's followed me. His voice calls out my name softly from a few feet behind, and it stops me in my tracks regardless of my desire to get out of there as fast as I can. And then I turn around and finally look directly at his face.
Big mistake.
His eyes are on my legs again, trailing slowly upwards until he reaches my face. The light over here is dimmer, barely noticeable at all, though I swear I can see red forming on his cheeks.
"I like your dress," he says softly. It's almost meek, like he'd been afraid to say it but took a chance anyway.
It's such a random, small compliment, but with the alcohol and endorphins flowing through my body after the night I'd just had, it nearly makes me quiver.
It also makes me incredibly stupid.
An amused, almost sensual grin forms on my face as I make eye contact with him, and I feel myself throb at the way I can just barely see his throat move. He looks like a deer in headlights, afraid to make one sudden move.
"Turning to flattery to try and win me over, are we?" I say slowly.
I almost think he'll stumble over his words once more, but again he surprises me with a full answer. It's only three words but it's clear, and his voice is deep, and I want to fucking jump his bones right then and there.
"Is it working?"
This has to be the alcohol making me imagine things... I swear I didn't even drink that much tonight, but it has to be an obvious lapse in judgement. The drinking mixed with the sex mixed with the dirty thoughts I've been having about this man lately have to be what's making this feel real. It's all culminating into this one big fantasy (or delusion, more like), and all I need is to shower and sleep it off.
That has to be it.
So because there's no other reasonable explanation that my brain can conjure up, I take a chance and throw Spencer a wink before turning and sprinting up the stairs.
And it's that same seemingly undeniable reasoning for this illusion that doesn't keep my hands from wandering in the shower. Even though those warning sirens in my brain keep blaring, telling me that the common sense is still there for me to utilize, they're drowned out by my thrumming heartbeat and the repetition of Spencer's soothing, authoritative voice, guiding my movements.
Keep rubbing your clit for me, baby... Just like that, nice and slow...
Warm water cascades down the front of my body as I lean back into the wall of the shower, but that's not why I'm so warm. This heat radiates through my insides, spreading like wildfire and bringing out small whimpers and mewls that I know I'll have to contain in fear of waking my mom from her bedroom right next door.
But then the thought of her hearing me next door as I cry out her boyfriend's name only excites me more. I keep it quiet still, but just knowing that someone else is in the house while I'm having these thoughts right now (one of them being the object of said thoughts) is what finally brings me over the edge.
I finish my shower on weak legs, definitely overstimulated now, but also feeling even more tired. I know that the moment I lay down on my bed, I'll be pulled into the sweet, soft surrender of a deep sleep.
Nothing else has ever sounded so pleasant.
———
When I woke up that morning after, I was feeling surprisingly calm. Realistically I knew that my whole 'this has to be an illusion' montage had been less truth and more inebriated babble, and the longer I sat on it the more I thought it'd all turned out for the better.
Turns out, tipsily masturbating in the shower to thoughts of your mom's hot new boyfriend was a surefire way to get it out of your system, right?
Wrong.
It really had been okay at first. I thought about Spencer almost immediately, and yeah, he was still hot as fuck—But there wasn't this overwhelming desire within me to jump his bones when I saw him that morning, his hair messy and his hands clutching a cup of coffee while Mom made breakfast behind him.
But that good feeling I had about all of this? It lasts only about a split second.
Because the moment he looks up and sees me, the mug falls out of his hand and shatters to pieces. His eyes stay glued to me, even as my mother darts over to pick up the pieces of the ceramic that are scattered about the table and the floor. And when she turns back to grab a paper towel, he still stares at me, once again at my legs.
It takes me all of four seconds afterwards to remember that not only did I talk to him briefly last night, but I also flirted with him after he complimented me.
That whole part seemed to have slipped my mind when waking up, and now that his gaze is bringing me back to that moment, that 'this has to be an illusion' montage is starting to become larger than I'd remembered.
It isn't until he finally snaps out of it and starts to help my mom clean up the mess that I snap out of it, too, going back upstairs to clear my head and cool the heat radiating over my skin.
———
There's a knock at my bedroom door about an hour later, and it sounds different than my mom's usually quick two-knock succession. That means it's someone else, and unsurprisingly, my stomach tightens at the thought of seeing him again.
"Yeah?" I call out, turning in my desk chair and meeting Spencer's figure in the doorway. He's changed, a rather nice pair of slacks and a white button-up shirt clinging to his limbs.
"Can I come in?"
"Mhm," I say. I still don't know if I entirely trust myself to say anything more than a few words to him, and as he enters the room and sits on the foot of my bed, I wonder if he can tell.
He tries, really tries, to look me in the eye, but I know that it's hard. I've been in the same spot. And then he takes a deep breath before folding his hands in his lap.
"Y/N, I want to apologize... When we... talked last night... It was kind of weird, and then this morning wasn't really any better..." He can barely get out the words 'talk' and 'last night'... And then he avoids my gaze altogether, staring at the floor and trailing off, trying to put his thoughts together it seems.
And that's when it starts to click into place.
There's one thing that both last night and this morning have in common, and I've noticed it almost every time I've caught him staring at me. At my legs. It's happened almost daily since I've met him. And then, the night I come home clearly having just been fucked, waltzing past him, entertaining his fascination with my legs and then masturbating to thoughts of him in the shower, he finally starts dropping mugs.
He must also really feel something here. Something similar to my own feelings. And really, that should be a red flag, because he's my mom's boyfriend, and it's a goddamned fucking mess...
But fuck, it excites me.
I'm still wearing my pajama shorts, silky and lavender in color, and I use them to my advantage, slowly crossing one leg over the other and just barely gaining Spencer's attention back.
"Yeah, what was that, anyway?" I ask him, amusement dripping off my tongue.
I can tell from his reaction that he wasn't expecting me to ask. A few times he opens his mouth to speak and then closes it , stumbling before panicking. He's been pretty good so far at coming up with answers and explanations, so the fact that this time I finally seemed to have broken him down makes it all the more clear.
He must have heard me in the shower.
Right?
I'm almost completely positive that's what this is about. And there's one way for me to get the confirmation I'm looking for.
"So you heard me, huh?"
I try to keep my voice as plain as I can as not to give away my motives, and with my luck Spencer is so flustered that he probably wouldn't have even noticed it at all. He looks up at me, his eyes desperately trying to find something he can use to make up a lie, but in the end there's no use.
I've caught him. And he knows it.
"Yes," he whispers. He looks exhausted, guilty, and also a little like he wants to cross the barrier and kiss me.
Okay, maybe that part's just in my head. I really can't tell. But I do know that hearing me call his name out in the shower last night is what brought him to this point of severe distress. As much as that excites me, though, it also embarrasses me a little. Maybe if it hadn't happened we could have avoided further destruction.
It must read on my face, because Spencer perks a little. "Oh! Y/N, I'm not... I'm not mad or anything. I really didn't mean to overhear and invade your privacy... Really, I-I'm sorry."
The fact that he's apologizing to me right now, rather than acting all grossed out that I even did it in the first place, tells me he either feels guilty for not being able to help himself from hearing me, or he's just a good guy who loves my mom and doesn't want to ruin it because of a little mishap.
Either way, it's frustrating, because I don't know what to do.
Well, I know what I want to do, but I don't know if I should hint at it.
But then he does something. It's small, and no one would have noticed, but I've been fascinated with his hands since the moment I met him, so my eyes are instantly drawn there.
They're clenched so hard, his knuckles are nearly white.
He's nervous.
To ease his mind a bit, I hold off on poking the bear harder (though it's really tempting to see what will happen if I don't) and nod, trying to make myself look as apologetic and small as possible.
"It's okay... I... I won't make it awkward if you won't?"
His shoulders slump, and his body seems to relax. "Y–yeah. Yeah, deal."
He gets up off the bed and blurts one final apology before heading for the door, but that part of me that wants to poke the bear further makes me stand up and follow him.
"Spencer?" I call out.
He freezes and turns to face me, and I don't think he quite expected me to be as close as I am. I have to tilt my head up to look at him, and the angle gives me an added layer of this innocence I'm trying to achieve.
"I'm sorry, too..."
No the fuck I'm not.
Whether he can sense my lie or not, he doesn't show it. But I think he at least knows that I'm pitching my voice a little higher on purpose, and if that doesn't give it away, the way I'm staring at him sure should.
Still, he only nods and retreats.
All there's left to do is see what happens.
JUNE 25th
For someone who agreed not to make things awkward, Spencer sure can't keep his eyes off of me.
To be fair, I have tried to keep things fairly normal. I only really interacted with him if I had to, I kept my distance, and I saved my skimpier clothing for the strangers I was regularly going out to see almost every weekend.
My lustful feelings for him aren't as strong now that I've been getting some on a semi-regular basis and keeping myself occupied. I've been doing my part.
But I still can't shake him entirely.
Whenever he spends the night (which is surprisingly most nights), the occasional wet dream about him gets me frustrated when I know he's just down the hall and sleeping soundly next to my mom. On those days I try to cut as much interaction with him as I can, though it doesn't keep me from seeing the occasional stare he throws my way.
I wish I could say that I hate it.
But I don't, and it increasingly gets worse. It's only been a week, so there's still time, but honestly, I don't think there's any shaking him.
Today especially is one of those days where it's hard not to give into the incessant need to tease him and coax some stronger reaction out of him.
I talked to Mom earlier this morning about getting some new clothes, and she had this brilliant idea to have Spencer take me. "It would be a good chance for you two to bond a little, don't you think?" she insisted, nudging him in the side and silently pleading with her eyes for him to agree.
I could tell from the look on his face that he really wasn't ready to be alone with me again, but that only excited me.
"Yeah, I think that's a great idea," I piped up, positively beaming.
Mom was so excited for us to 'bond' and also that I was gladly inclined to go through with it that Spencer couldn't have said no to her even if he wanted to.
And I was pretty sure he didn't want to.
Yet here we are, sitting in the car, the air conditioning so strong it's blowing some of my hair into my eyes. I think it had been his way of punishing me for choosing today to wear a short skirt, something I usually refrain from nowadays unless I'm going out, and it makes me smile. I can't help it.
I also can't help the way my fingers play with my skirt, dying to tease him some more. I just want to see, to know for sure that I'm driving him mad.
"No offence, but you seem weird today... Is there something wrong?" I ask him, lifting my skirt just a smidge. The air from the car blows the fabric in waves.
"You're acting this way on purpose."
Well, I hadn't been expecting that answer... All this time he'd hardly been confrontative, and now he's full-on calling me out. It's plain to see that he's finally snapped, and I would have felt sorry about it if I didn't find it extremely sexy.
"What do you mean?"
"Y/N..."
My name on his lips is a warning. He's clearly annoyed, exasperated, and I'm loving every second. "Don't act oblivious. I'm not stupid, and neither are you. I don't want to make you hate me or anything, but you have to know where I'm coming from. I was willing to let the shower thing slide... And you said you were too, for that matter, so I don't know what's changed, but it has to stop now. Understood?"
Oh, all I want is to argue with him. I want to point out that none of this is really my fault because he's the one who hasn't been able to stop staring at me all summer so far. I want to tell him that if he wants this to stop he has to make it stop.
But that isn't going to give me any of the answers I'm looking for or further proof of my theory that he wants me just as badly as I want him. And I am not going to fuck this whole situation up by making a poorly-timed move on him.
I have to know for sure.
So, I fold my hands neatly in my lap, sigh, and look dead ahead. "Right... We said no awkwardness. I'm sorry."
Spencer seems to accept my apology and continues down the road.
When we make it to the mall I think he's calmed down. At least, he seems a little more comfortable around me, and honestly I'm okay with it. As much as his spiel in the car turned me on, it also exhausted me to the point of silence.
Even as we walk around each store in the mall, I just lead and he follows, not saying a word when I pick out a top or a pair of pants or whatever else I need. And when it comes time to pay, he takes the basket from me and pays for it with no question.
Near five bags of clothes later, I figure I could get used to this new dynamic.
But then we pass a lingerie store, and I remember that the main thing I'd needed was new underwear. I start to turn into the store, but stop suddenly, pausing awkwardly and deciding to go straight ahead instead.
"You don't want to go in?" Spencer asks.
I shake my head. "No, it's fine. I can just pick some up later, it's not a big deal."
He sighs then, nodding his head towards the sign. "If you need to go in, you can... I'll just wait out here if you're uncomfortable."
I really want to call him out, ask him if he's the one who should be worried about being uncomfortable. But so far this afternoon has been pretty decent, and I really don't want to make things any weirder than they have to be.
Besides... If my theory is right...
"Sure. Thanks. Uh, how am I gonna pay, though?"
"O—Oh... I'll uh... I'll just watch the counter and come in when you need me."
"Orrrr, you could just give it to me?"
This time I get a laugh out of him. "Not a chance. Go in, I'll wait."
I smile at him and hand him the bags to hold onto while I leave, and it fills me with absolute amusement that he'd just given me one more ounce of proof that I'm right.
He's gonna have to come inside and pay for what I bought. He could have just given me the card, and maybe he truly doesn't trust me with it (which I don't know why he wouldn't honestly), but he chose to come inside all the same.
I browse happily then, going through the displays and picking out things I need, but also things I know Spencer will like.
Specifically, I stumble on a pair of lavender panties, embroidered with flowery trim up top. The pattern from the outside is lace, but there's a thin layer of cotton underneath designed to be more comfortable to wear.
I've noticed that he can never seem to look away when I'm wearing anything, really, but it's more intense when I wear one of two things. Florals, and any type of purple. And these fit both of those bills perfectly.
Now there's just one more bill to take care of.
I stride over to the counter and turn around, finding that Spencer's caught my eye immediately. Either he truly had been paying attention to the counter the whole time, or he'd been watching through the glass, following me with his gaze to the best of his abilities. Either way, he blinks a few times and looks like he's gathering the courage to go in before actually taking any steps.
I laugh to myself, eager to gauge his reaction to this next step.
Surprisingly, he holds up well. The air between me, him, and the cashier is obviously awkward, but he doesn't say anything and barely looks at what she rings up. (I say barely because he tries extremely hard not to look at the purple pair I picked out, inadvertently adding another checkmark to my list of proof.) She tells him the total, he hands her the card, and within a minute, everything is in our possession and we're leaving the mall entirely.
I don't think there are any more steps to my plan today once we get in the car and I tell him thank you. (To which he responds a short and simple, Sure thing, and turns the radio on.)
But then there's a note taped to the front door, and it instantly gives me another one.
My Sweethearts,
I got called in on a work emergency and won't be back until 7. I would have called but I figured you were having a nice time and didn't want to interrupt! I'll bring home dinner, and then maybe you can tell me about how your day went. Can't wait to hear it!
XOXO,
Eve/Mom
I check my phone, seeing that it's almost 3.
Perfect.
But I don't want to give myself away too quickly, so I thank Spencer again for taking me out and tell him that I'm going upstairs to make sure everything fits right. He nods and lets me go, though not without lingering eyes. I can feel it.
The smile never leaves my face as I try all my clothes on. Once each article has been fitted, I throw it in a laundry basket and move to the next, until I get to the last piece.
The lavender panties.
As expected, they fit perfectly, and as I look at myself in the mirror I picture what Spencer would look like when he sees me wearing them.
That's right. When.
I throw back on my earlier outfit and grab the basket, acting as bored and normal as possible to find him sitting at the kitchen table, reading a book.
"Hey," I greet him, setting the basket in front of me once I reach the bottom of the stairs. "Everything fits good, I just need them washed now. Could you run these down to the laundry room for me? I think I'm gonna make something to snack on before Mom brings dinner."
It doesn't surprise me to see him look at my legs before my face, even if it is brief. I want to smile, but I hold back, watching him nod with a tight smile of his own.
"Sure."
He disappears and then I wait.
One...
Two...
Three.
I sneak as quietly as I can to the laundry room once I hear the washer door open. I hadn't specifically asked him to put them in the washer for me on purpose, and it looks like now he's doing exactly what I thought he might.
My head peeks around the corner, barely in his range of sight as I watch him empty the basket. He takes one item of clothing at a time and throws it in the washer, and halfway through the basket he stops, just to place a pair of my new underwear on the dryer beside him.
My heart races faster the more I wait for him to get to the end of the basket. Once he does, he pauses again, and I think I know exactly what he's looking for.
Still, he sets the basket aside and picks up the stray pair of underwear, a simple black cotton pair that I'd been getting for years, and drapes it over his hands. My thighs instantly clench, and I try so hard to remain where I am so I can see where he takes this.
He takes it straight to hell, apparently, tentatively pulling his dick out of his pants and gripping it firmly. I can barely see since his back is partially turned, but I see enough, and god he's so fucking pretty. My underwear dangle from his left hand while the other works slowly over his erection, a soft sigh falling from his lips.
I fight to let one of my own slip as my hand sinks down the front of my body, past the lavender cotton and lace that I know he just wishes he had right now.
And then, a few seconds later he's already coming, using my brand new underwear to catch each rope of it, and the sight nearly has me on my knees.
And because I want to catch him in the act, I quickly draw my hand away from myself and step into the room, barely giving him time to recover.
"You come fast."
Spencer looks utterly devastated when he turns to see me standing in the entryway to the laundry room, arms crossed and an amused smirk adorning my face.
"Y/N... I—I... I'm so sorry, I didn't... I..."
"Don't worry about it," I say, taking a step towards him and shrugging. "You heard me, and now I heard you... We're even. Besides, I... figured you might be looking for these."
He's still stunned, but he looks down all the same, watching my hands slip under my skirt and glide the lavender panties down my legs. I step out of them and hold the garment up on one finger, a soft smile still on my face.
"I picked 'em out just for you, you know," I tell him, tossing them past his face and into the washer. "I've noticed that you like purple."
This time he's quick to respond. "Y/N, we... We can't... This isn't right."
"Says the man holding my underwear soaked in his cum..."
He looks panicked again, extremely guilty, but if this isn't going to end in a total disaster, then I have to reassure him that I'm okay.
"Spencer, I'm not mad..." I take another step forward, and it feels much like trying to approach a wounded animal. I can see in his eyes and in his posture that this conflict is killing him, so I decide to show some rapport. "And I know... I know this is messy... I love my mom... And I'm sure you care about her a lot... But are we really going to ignore this? We tried that, remember? And now look where we are."
"I..." He swallows, shaking his head and trying to avoid my eyes. "I can't stop thinking about you... I can't..."
My hand finds his arm, and the light touch has him sighing out, an incredulous, breathy laugh escaping him. "Y/N, please... Don't."
"Don't what?" I ask softly, praying he won't turn me away. If he does, we're just back to square one, only the square is jagged, sharper than ever before, and in serious danger of injuring someone.
When he meets my eyes, I see nothing but a desire for something he knows he can't have. "Don't want me."
Now it's my turn to laugh. My knees start to wobble as I go down, keeping my eyes locked onto his, and I swear I see them dilate fully. I scoot in closer, sliding my hand up his leg and finding the words in my heart to finally say out loud.
"It's too late for that..."
My face moves closer, and the hand of his that doesn't currently hold my underwear flies down to gently tug at my hair, keeping me in place.
"If you do this... God, Y/N, I won't be able to stop myself..."
A smirk dances over my lips as I lean in, breath fanning gently over his exposed skin. "Don't."
He swallows. "Don't what?"
"Don't stop yourself."
I barely get the words out before his hand is completely pulling me towards him, and the second my lips press against the silky skin of his hard cock, he loses it completely.
His fingers thread through my hair as I kiss and lick my way softly up to the tip. Once I'm there, I swirl my tongue out and taste the small beads of cum that had remained after he came, a low, satiated hum radiating through my body and making him shiver under my touch.
And then I wrap my lips fully around the head of his dick, and there's no stopping the most beautiful sound I've ever heard come out of his mouth. It's a broken, desperate whisper of my name. The crack in his voice when he says it spurs me forward, and I take him deeper into my mouth until he hits the back of my throat.
That's when he tosses my underwear in the washer and uses both of his hands to grab my head, roughly guiding me along his cock and fully taking control of my actions.
The fire in my belly doesn't ease up, not even once he's decided that he can't take it anymore and pulls me off of him harshly.
And that's only because now he's fully turned over, finally given into these desires that have been plaguing him presumably from the moment we met.
"I want you stripped and in your bed, on your hands and knees within the next five minutes."
I get up off the floor and walk up to him until our bodies are flush, my arms reaching up to wrap around his neck.
"What are you gonna do to me, Spencer?"
He searches my eyes, and his own grow dark with the purest form of sin I'd ever seen. And when his hands come up over the back of my legs, and under my skirt to grab my ass and pull me even closer to him, I can't help the little mewl that slips past my lips.
He smiles, and if it hadn't been for the grip he held on me, I would have fallen to my knees. "Little girl, when I'm through with you, you'll have to come up with some excuse to your mom about why you can't walk straight... Is that what you want?"
The mention of my mom should send me running in the opposite direction, but his threat only prolongs that fire in my veins and makes me want him even more.
I tilt my head up and press a gentle kiss to his lips.
"Do your worst..."
———
Turns out he was very true to his word.
Sitting at the kitchen table is somewhat of a relief, but I try not to walk around as much when Mom gets home. She'd asked me almost immediately if I was okay, and I told her I was just hungry and needed to eat something.
She seemed to have bought it, rushing to the kitchen to unpack the fast food she'd ordered for us. Over her shoulder, Spencer gave me a sly smile, and it took everything I had within myself not to crumble.
Through bites of food, I only half-listen to Mom telling us about the stuff she had to do at work because most of the words I'm hearing are in my head— A loop of endless dirty talk that plants deep into the soil of my stomach and spreads out through my whole body. It infects me, like the most beautiful poison, and I never want it to stop.
"Tell me, sweetheart, you ever let a man come inside you before?"
His weight on top of me coupled together with the heft of his voice has me whining out in pleasure, each snap forward of his hips over my ass as he pounds into me from behind the most delectable burn I've ever felt.
"Uh huh," I answer happily, twisting my head to feel his cheek against my own. "That night you heard me in the shower... I walked through the door with a stranger's cum soaking my panties... And you know what?"
He grumbles, his hips hitting into me harder as he waits for me to continue.
"I wished it was yours..."
My legs clench together under the table and I take a large gulp of water.
I feel something graze over my bare shin, and I already know it's Spencer's foot, a silent reassurance of his presence and that no matter what, he'll always be here.
"Here's what's going to happen..."
He has me on my back now, my legs hoisted over his shoulders and bent back so I'm nearly folded in half. His hips are flush against mine and I can feel his cock throbbing as he comes into the condom.
"You're gonna make an appointment to make sure you're clean... You're gonna make sure you're on good birth control... And then the next time I fuck this pretty little pussy, you're gonna really know what it feels like to have a man come inside you."
Right... Like I really need a reminder of his presence.
I can practically feel it still inside me, taking up every inch of space my body could provide. And no matter how long I go without seeing him, I have no doubt that it'll always remain.
"But that's enough about me, I'm sorry." Mom's voice shifts and breaks me out of my fantasy. "So, how did your day of bonding go? You have fun?"
Spencer and I share a look, a smile spreading over his lips that makes me smile in turn.
"Yeah, Mom," I say. "It was great."
He nods in kind. "Yeah... We'll definitely have to do it again."
His foot grazing over my leg under the table cements the unwavering smile on my face, as does the way my whole body burns at the memory of him fucking me upstairs only hours before.
I don't even flinch or get sick to my stomach when Mom reaches over and gives Spencer a kiss.
———
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bratkook · 4 years
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not yet. jjk
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not yet, almost, right now pairing. jungkook x reader genre. fluff, some angst, pg-13 word count. 4.1k warnings. mentions of infidelity, some feelings come to light, unrequited pining, spur of the moment kissing, light grinding on the dance floor, jungkook pops a boner and wants to cry</3 summary. jungkook feels the pang of guilt in his gut when you spot your recent ex out with his new girl, and what better way to make the jerk hurt than to have him believe you were now dating him, the neighbor he had been insecure about your whole relationship note. this is based off a request sent a while back for numbers #43 and #67 from this prompt list! (i think this might turn into a small drabble series...mayhaps)
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Jungkook can spot your discomfort easily, the occasional colorful light bouncing off your face showing him the flash of anger in your eyes. The only reason he’s not currently running for the hills, knowing very well how mean you can get when angry, is because your glare isn’t being sent at him. Not yet at least. 
Because of this, he allows himself to enjoy the cute way your nose scrunches up, lips twisting in displeasure as you stare at the crowd of people, eyes locked onto an unlucky bystander. Honestly, he wishes he could hear your thoughts, wanting to know exactly what has your panties in a bunch, ruining your mood instead of letting you enjoy the expensive fruity drink he had just bought you as payment for allowing him to drag you out of the house. Jungkook isn’t a mind reader though, so he decides on his next best option. 
“Who’s got you looking all sour?” he sighs, resting his elbow on the counter of the bar as he inches closer to you, head at your level in an attempt to match your line of sight. 
“Him,” you seethe, brows pinching together, showing those light wrinkles in between them, a product of how expressive you were and definitely something Jungkook always teases you about. 
Jungkook can only hum in question, eyes squinting in the low light as he attempts to find the him you’re talking about. With a slight turn of your head, you’re inches from Jungkook’s cheek, the obvious look of confusion etched onto his soft features letting you know he was absolutely lost. With a soft huff your fingers are gripping his cheeks and moving his face in the right direction, free hand pointing as discreetly as you could to the man in question. 
You know he spots him, you can feel his jaw tense underneath your grip. What you don’t feel is the sudden guilt that fills him up, sloshing in his stomach and mixing with the liquor he just drank until he feels a little queasy. Jungkook instantly regrets coaxing you out of your little dungeon with the promise of cheering you up. If he had known the spawn of satan–dubbed your ex boyfriend and also the reason why you were in a downward spiral–would be here, he would have just let you rot in your bed like you originally wanted. 
“Do you wanna go?” he mutters out, cheeks still squished by your slowly tightening grip, and he begins to accept the fact that you might just break his jaw right now. It’s fine, he thinks, he deserves it. 
“No,” you grunt stubbornly, fingers finally releasing him as you turn back around and choose to face the endless amount of bottles behind the bar. He may be the reason you were currently on a never ending cycle of watching sad, heartbreaking chick-flicks from the early 2000’s, dumping you with the lame excuse that you two were on different paths and he just wasn’t ready for commitment. It’s something you accepted, albeit jaw tense and eye twitching as you did so, but you figured you would eventually find your way back to each other. 
Your mind was warped, believing you were meant to be, that this was just a mere bump in the road that you would laugh at together in the future. 
That is, until he blocked you on all social media, and you had to hear from your best friend that he had moved on days later and was now with some blonde-haired, fresh faced, supermodel-esque woman that you could not get yourself to hate. Instead you took to endlessly scrolling through her instagram while you stuffed your face with milk chocolate and questioned why you had ever convinced yourself that you had a future with him. 
“Good, he’s a dick and you shouldn’t let him ruin your night.” Jungkook grumbles, slinging his arm around you as you hold your forgotten drink by your lips. He had seen your relationship with Hajoon play out from the very beginning, knowing slightly more intimate details than he would like considering you were next door neighbors and happened to share a wall between your bedrooms. 
The friendship you had with Jungkook blossomed right after you moved in four years ago, friendly neighborly talks morphing into actual conversations, and eventually inviting each other into your apartments where you would attempt to beat him at any game you had in your Nintendo switch. It was a great dynamic, providing the two of you with a sense of relief after your busy days at work. 
Unfortunately, the second you got with Hajoon was the end of any of those playful matches, your ex’s jealousy making you distance yourself in an attempt to keep your relationship at bay. 
Jungkook can’t say he didn’t see it coming, having heard the way you’d cry anytime you had an argument and your ex would leave, slamming the door behind him so hard Jungkook’s walls would rattle. It had become such a common occurence it was a shock he hadn’t marched out of his house, met Hajoon in the hall, and gave him a clean right hook in your honor. 
He was secretly hoping you’d break up with the jerk for your own good–and maybe for his own personal reasons too. Your ex was right in being wary of Jungkook, knowing the way a boy's mind worked, sensing Jungkook’s feelings for you in a way you were too blind to see. Jungkook wasn’t a dick though, he could tell you wanted your relationship to work so he kept his distance. 
When weeks went by without the sight of him he began to think you finally did it, a call for celebration that made him want to go over to your place to challenge you for a friendly match of Mario Kart like you used to. 
Until he ran into you in the hall and took note of what a mess you were, his smile falling from his face when he saw how defeated you looked. 
Your shameful confirmation that you had been royally dumped made his heart twist for you, his selfless tendencies urging him to help you feel better in any way he could. You were thankful for it, grateful that he was keeping you company while you moped around, providing you with just the right amount of distraction to allow you to breathe and slowly heal. 
Honestly, today would have been just another day if it wasn’t what was supposed to be your two year anniversary. The second Jungkook heard the telltale sounds of The Notebook starting up in your bedroom—something he hadn’t heard through the drywall separating your rooms in weeks—is when he knew something was up. 
Jump to: now. 
With Jungkook looking sheepish and wishing he had chosen another bar, and you gripping the cup so hard it was a shock it hadn’t shattered in your grasp. 
“He’s with her,” you whisper out harshly, head downcast, swirling the liquid around in your glass as you force yourself not to look back at them. The vision of them coddled up in the corner, her arms wrapped around his while she laughed at whatever he whispered in her ear had stung enough the first time, you weren’t jealous but the pain still lingered inside of you.. 
“Just try to ignore him. Don’t let it bother you,” he attempts to reassure you, the bass of the music muffling the way you try to deny the fact that you’re clearly upset, his attention now elsewhere. 
Jungkook takes a chance and looks back once more, eyes narrowed as he searches for Hajoon in the crowd. He spots him with more ease the second time, seeing the way he lazily drinks from his glass while the blonde rests her head on his shoulder, lips moving as she tells him something that makes him smile. 
“Oh shit,” Jungkook chokes, eyes widening slightly in shock when Hajoon meets his gaze. He’s been caught, too late for him to avert his eyes and pretend he wasn’t blatantly staring. He can only give him a tight-lipped smile that he hopes doesn’t come across as an invitation to come say hello. 
“What?” you question, turning to stare at Jungkook and seeing the look on his face, doe eyes swirling with a mix of emotions. 
“He saw me,” he speaks through clenched teeth, lips barely moving as he does so, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. 
“What?” you repeat harshly, setting the drink back down as your palms grow clammy, finger tugging at your shirt’s neckline when the air becomes thick and stuffy. 
“Oh fuck, he’s coming.” Jungkook throws back the remainder of his drink, grimacing at the burn lingering in the back of his throat before placing the cup down. “Just follow along,” he whispers into your ear, standing tall as Hajoon approaches the two of you. 
He’s ballsy, Jungkook will give him that, more so when he completely ignores Jungkook in favor of calling out your name. 
“Y/N, oh my god is that you?”
Jungkook can’t stop the way he glares at the bastard, not even the small jab to his side that you deliver with your elbow is enough to wipe the look off his face. Still, you pause to breathe, shutting your eyes briefly before plastering a look of surprise on your features as you turn around to face him. 
“Hajoon, what are you doing here?” Your voice has risen a few octaves, pitch surpassing the normal customer service voice and entering unhinged and borderline crazed territory. Hajoon doesn’t notice though, and neither does the girl strapped to his side, the two of them smiling at you and not giving Jungkook a glance. 
“Oh, we’re just celebrating our four month anniversary.” The girl finally speaks up, giving Hajoon a kiss to the cheek and completely missing the way your face instantly falls. Her innocent statement has you coming to the sudden realization that this son of a bitch had been cheating on you for the last two months of your relationship. 
Jungkoon spots it easily though, can sense the way your body tenses up beside him, no doubt will the rage flare up in the form of hot tears spilling over and onto your cheeks soon. One look at Hajoon’s pleased face is enough to not want to give him the satisfaction of seeing the way he affects you. 
“Young love,” Jungkook sighs, long arm pulling you into his side obnoxiously, seeing the way Hajoon eyes the two of you carefully. “I can relate. We’ve been together for...what is it again babe, five months?”
Hajoon doesn’t even attempt to be discreet, eyes bulging out and fist curling at his side. He had hated Jungkook the second he met him, intimidated by his physique and the way he made you laugh with ease, threatened by him in every sense. It was the reason he told you to cut ties with him, his fragile ego not trusting your neighbor, fully convinced all Jungkook would have to do was beckon you over for you to leave him. 
Any man would feel threatened by him, just looking at him now with his long hair framing his face, the challenging glimmer in his eyes as he gauges the other’s reaction. Hajoon follows Jungkook’s arm, seeing how it snakes around your body and settles with his palms curling around your waist, fingers gently squeezing your skin. 
Jungkook chuckles when Hajoon meets his gaze once more, free hand adjusting the yellow tinted sunglasses perched on his head—something that should make him look like an A class douchebag, because who the hell brings shades to a fucking club. But like all things, Jungkook makes it work. 
All of this tied in with that small, white lie, makes Hajoon’s head spin in a jealous whirlwind. It was fine and dandy if he cheated on you but how dare you give him the same treatment, with your neighbor of all people. 
“Five months?” He bites first, eyes bouncing back and forth between the two of you. 
The insecurity is written all over his face, it almost makes him shrink in size and for some reason it fills you with confidence. You stand taller now, sliding your own arm around Jungkook’s side as you nuzzle into him. 
“Almost six.” Those two words are the nails into his coffin of insecurity, probably increasing his trust issues for years to come, but considering it was no longer your problem, you don’t care. 
“Wow, almost half a year. That’s so cute, isn’t it?” His girlfriend coos, perfectly manicured hand placed over her chest, totally missing the way Hajoon looks like a kicked puppy. 
Now that he doesn’t have the one up, he’s no longer interested in sticking around, the gross green monster perched on his shoulder laughing at his misfortune. 
“Adorable,” he grunts out. “We should get back to our table. It was nice seeing you.”
He doesn’t wait for a response before walking away, his girlfriend giving you a small wave before following behind him. The growing distance between you makes your muscles relax, sagging in relief as you release Jungkook’s side and hunch over the sticky bar. 
“I think I'm gonna puke,” you groan out, eyes going crossed when you feel Jungkook rest two fingers against your lips, sending him a questionable stare. 
“Please don’t, that drink was expensive. You’re only allowed to hurl as the grand finale of the night, and we’re just getting started.”
Jungkook smiles when you shut your eyes and groan, your mood was already down in the dumps, and despite the small rush you got from putting Hajoon in his place, you were still craving the comfort of your bed. “Can we go?”
The bartender proceeds to place a glass of water in front of you, assuming your slumped state was due to intoxication and not the gross remnants of running into an ex-boyfriend. You grab the glass regardless, taking a big gulp of the cool liquid and sighing when it helps calm you down. 
“If you really want to go we can, but at least try to loosen up.” His smile is genuine, cheeks pushed out as he looks down at you with kind eyes. “We’ll stay on the opposite side, and if you’d still rather watch the Notebook for the millionth time, we can do that.”
With a half-hearted groan you nod, allowing Jungkook to order another round of drinks for you to enjoy before eventually dragging you out onto the dance floor. He knows how to keep the atmosphere up, goofy smile on his lips as he bobs his head along to the loud beat, hands clasped with yours and wiggling in time to the music. 
“You love this song,” he manages to say through the noise, pulling you closer as he settles into a spot on the decently packed floor. You couldn’t even deny it, he heard just how often you played it through the paper thin walls. That playlist full of hit 2000’s songs was your guilty pleasure, and it was the main reason he had decided to bring you to this club on their themed night. 
Jungkook was attentive, he knew so much about you and played it off casually, always listening to things you say you enjoy, storing them into a folder labeled under your name and shoved into a very important part of his brain. 
You knew he was trying his best to get you to enjoy yourself, so you give in, beginning to sing along to the lyrics of an old song that brought back a flood of memories that made you smile back at him. Jungkook feels the first burst of success bloom inside him, joining in with your singing, raising up your clasped hands as you begin dancing. 
The smile doesn’t leave his face as he stares down at you, the few drinks you’ve had loosening you up and allowing you to push the earlier thoughts away. He feels mesmerized, eyes locked onto you, the flash of colors painting your skin, illuminating you in alternating shades of purple and blue. His heart does that annoying thing where it skips and stutters in his chest, mouth drying up as you drop your head back and sway your hips, slowly loosening the grip in your hands and turning around until your back is dangerously close to his chest.
Jungkook’s hands hover in the air for a moment, panic over taking his brain as he tries to remain calm. He could do this—he has done this before—the two of you would go clubbing before you got with your ex, and dancing definitely played a big part of it. So why was his brain short circuiting?
Sure your ass was brushing up against his crotch with each sway of your hips, but you were dancing, so his mind and his dick could fuck right off. He shakes his head to clear any dirty thoughts as his hands loosely grip your hips, testing the water, and when you smile and look back at him he feels less wary and sways his hips in time with yours. 
You can feel his chest brush against your back, breath fanning along your skin from his close proximity, only getting closer when you lift an arm back and hold his shoulder to pull him tighter against you. The heat sticks to your skin, thin shirt dampening with sweat from the warmth of the bodies around you, everyone in their own state of drunkenness as the bass flowed through their chests. 
Going out like this had been something you missed, used to frequenting the bars and clubs by your apartment with your friends and Jungkook, something that came to a halt because your ex claimed he hated that kind of scene. Something that was clearly a lie considering he was here now, enjoying himself as him and his new girlfriend danced along. 
You didn’t realize when he made his way onto the dance floor, enough distance separating you, but now that you had spotted him you feel like he’s way too close for comfort. In a similar position to you and Jungkook, Hajoon is free to look around while his girlfriend dances on him, eyes locked onto you with a smirk that makes your skin crawl. 
Jungkook is too lost in the music to notice where your attention has gone, earlier effects of the alcohol settling into his bloodstream, warming him up in that familiar way he welcomes. When the song changes, flowing into the next bass heavy anthem, you turn around in his grasp, giving him a brief glance before your hands are gripping his cheeks and bringing him down into a messy kiss. 
This is definitely something he’s never done with you before.
A muffled sound of confusion is swallowed by you as he quickly falls into the motion, large palms gripping your hips, slowly sliding up your back before lightly tangling into your hair to deepen the kiss. Jungkook can taste the liquor on your tongue, mixing with his own as your tongue slips between his lips. He has no idea what came over you but his racing heart and buried crush don’t let him question it, soft lips smacking with yours, not heard between the thrumming music. 
Your fingers feel the warmth of his cheeks, how he blushes into the kiss but you attribute it to the alcohol pumping through him. Harsh breaths fan across your face as he groans, lightly pulling back for a gasp of air but you don’t allow it. “No, don’t pull away. Not yet.”
And who is he to argue with that, blindly letting you bring your lips back together in a messy kiss. Your small pleas for him to continue has all the blood rushing to his cock, the ache felt in his jeans when it starts to harden, pressing into the denim uncomfortably and only getting worse when you gently bite down onto his lip before inching back. 
“Is he still looking?” you question, breath jagged as you peer up at Jungkook’s dazed expression. 
“What?” he dumbly replies, lips swollen and shiny, eyes still focused on your own as he makes an attempt to reconnect your lips. But then your question dawns on him, like a bucket of ice cold water, it sobers him up instantly. Is he still looking?
This was all for show. 
“He’s on the far right.” You motion your head in the direction and observe his face when his eyes move over to check if Hajoon was in fact still there. He does spot him heading out in a hurry though, girlfriend trailing behind him as he exits the club entirely
“No, just saw him leave.” Jungkook clears his throat, fingers slipping out of your hair and settling down over your back just like before. He hopes his solemn expression isn’t amplified by the lights flashing across his face, trying his best to act unaffected, as if he didn’t just pop a boner on the dance floor over a revenge make-out session. 
Luckily you don’t spot his fallen expression, a wide smile spreading across your face in victory, happy that you had successfully put him in his place. 
“I’m so sorry for kissing you.” You gasp in realization, unknowingly pouring salt in the wound when you act as if kissing him was something you would never do if it wasn’t in an attempt to piss off your ex. 
“No, it’s okay,” he waves off and smiles, eyes glancing over to the bar once more. Jungkook needed a drink, maybe five—actually he wouldn’t mind going home and watching The Notebook now, that would surely give him a reason to cry with no questions asked. 
He starts to walk back to the bar with you by his side, the sad look you had earlier entirely gone, replaced with a giddy smile and a pep in your step, so he can’t say he's too upset. 
“God, you should’ve seen how mad he looked when he saw us dancing together,” you giggle, standing inches from him as he orders another drink. Before he can respond, you’re wrapping your arms around his neck and bringing him in for a hug. 
A hug, really?
Still, Jungkook sighs and wraps his own arms around your waist, a defeated smile on his face that he hides as he lets his chin rest over your head. The dip in his head makes the yellow tinted frames fall over his eyes and when he pulls back you snort at the visual, finger gently poking the bridge of them. 
“You look good in those.”
His drink gets placed in front of him then, giving him a good excuse to avoid stumbling over his words from your compliment, choosing to take a gulp of the hard liquor, wincing when it burns his throat. “Thank you,” he rasps out, grimacing at the taste and it just makes you giggle. 
“I should be thanking you. You need to be my fake boyfriend more often.”
Even more salt poured into his wound, topped with a dash of lemon juice in the form of your playful smile and nudge to his ribs, it stings. His heart ache in his chest, more so when he realizes his stupid boner was still going strong. Thankfully the dark lights prevent you from seeing it, the last thing he needed was further embarrassment. 
The yellow frames are placed back over his head as he takes another sip, nodding along to your statement with what he hopes comes across as a genuine smile on his lips once he sets his cup down. “Anytime you want Y/N.”
“I know this night didn’t end with the grand finale of me puking, but do you wanna go home and watch movies? No sappy romance ones, I'm not in the mood for crying anymore.”
He finishes his drink with ease, quickly closing his tab as he agrees. “Yeah, just let me go to the bathroom real quick.” 
You might not be in the mood for crying but he definitely was; he also needed to handle the situation in his jeans, and what better night to stoop this low than tonight. His own version of a grand finale coming in the form of jerking off in the dirty bar bathroom while maybe shedding a tear or two. 
“Okay! I’ll call an uber,” you announce cheerfully, allowing him to walk away as you settle onto one of the sticky bar stools. 
Jungkook’s chest feels heavy as he walks to the bathroom, slipping into the small room and locking the door behind him. His forehead rests against the dirty door, eyes falling shut with a groan. He wishes he had the guts to confess to his crush, needing to push the fear of ruining the friendship away from his mind, wanting to gather possible clues that could indicate that you might feel the same. 
One day, but not yet. 
3K notes · View notes
photiniainsummer · 3 years
Text
Dancing with the Dark
Rating: Teen and Up
Summary: You've taken to lingering around Dark's office late at night when he thinks he's alone with his old jazz standards.
Or so you thought, until one night you find the door open.
You've always wondered what exactly he does behind it...
It's listen to music. Get your mind out of the gutter. ;)
(second person POV, gender neutral reader)
Word Count: 6860
Author’s Note: No warnings - this is really all just tooth-rotting, tender, slow build romance. There is dancin' and smoochin', though. 👀 Also posted to AO3!
It wasn’t something you had intended to intrude on. The Manor is big, but not that big, and it just so happens that the quickest route to your bedroom means you have to pass Dark’s office suite. As your nights have gotten later and later, trying to keep tabs on Mark and the poor, scattered egos he’s made and dumped, more and more often have you caught soft, crackling music drifting out from behind your sort-of boss’ heavy office door.
At first, you mostly ignored it, noting it with a small smile and continuing to bed. It’s really none of your business what the shadowy man does in his free time, you figured. Plus, you all manage to live on top of one another, despite the Manor’s size, which puts privacy at a premium - who are you to deny him some when he can get it? But as time has passed and you’ve worked intensely together, the original enmity between you two has turned into a professional respect and eventually, you’d hazard, a friendly banter. At least, such as Dark is willing to joke around.
And so, tempted by your mutual softening, and maybe a little curiosity as to what kind of music your ‘leader’ listens to, you’ve found yourself pausing in your path to bed when you catch him playing a record. At first, you only stopped briefly at the top of the stairs with his office across the landing from you, taking a moment to appreciate a few bars of dreamy jazz. It was peaceful, almost magnetically melodic. But you quickly grew self-conscious in your eavesdropping, and, not wanting to seem nosy (despite the fact you definitely were being nosy), moved along to your room.
You crossed the landing to the bit of wall near his door, next, but kept a keen eye on the stairs behind you in case you needed to make a sudden retreat. For a week or so, you took longer, lingering there at the mouth of the short hallway to his office. You would take in a full song before you got antsy, concerned Dark might get up to make a late-night cup of tea and discover you. Even so, you had found it hard to pull yourself away from the lilting voices of his records - time seemed to slow, for just a little while, and you felt you breathed easier, deeper even, once you were back in your bedroom.
Finally, now, and most nights for the last month, you’ve let yourself truly relax just outside his door. He never leaves, not that you’ve seen, and so you’ve taken to resting in the shadow of the short hallway and letting the hypnotic drags of a brush across a snare, crooning voices over a string quartet wrap around you. Dark’s music is never truly jazzy, never truly swinging, and it soothes you like very little else can these days. It’s steady - you think that’s what’s so appealing about it - drawing you in at the end of a long day for a moment of reprieve, floating outside of time in the gentle shade of this corner of the Manor.
You’ve gotten used to it, to be sure. The sleepy, tripping dance of a horn greets you at the end of each long day spent combing through Mark’s videos, hunting for hints as to his next move. The quiet moments spent letting the gentle jazz unwind some tight thing in your chest have become just as much your routine as they are Dark’s - and you understand why he takes the time. Until you started lingering to listen, you were harder up for time alone than you thought with barely a moment to spend in your own head. Everything was focused on maneuvering around Mark, a seemingly endless game of cat-and-mouse that left you tossing and turning and jittering yourself into an exhausted unconsciousness each night. But now, you fall asleep faster, wake up feeling more rested having actually relaxed before bundling down under your covers. You had found a little corner of peace, thanks to Dark. And, perhaps, thanks to your damned nosiness, as the man himself had called it once.
Only occasionally as you lean against the wallpaper have you allowed yourself to think about the man behind the door. For all your collaboration, Dark is still a mysterious, calculating, and distant figure. It’s by his own making, too. He’s been content to work closely with you planning Mark’s downfall, but keeps his own cards so close to his chest you have to wonder if he can even see them now, so to speak.
Perhaps he knows them well enough not to need to.
You’ve learned not to pry too much about any of the egos’ pasts and what they remember of them, unless you’re just in the mood for awkward, dead-end conversations. Wilford doesn’t seem troubled in the moment, human bouncy ball that he is, but responds vaguely - even for him - before up and disappearing for a few days. Google spouts some kind of technical jargon about his assembly warehouse that you can barely keep up with, then focuses intently on changing the subject. The Host only gives you one of his polite little smiles and reminds you that your futures are ‘of a more pressing nature’ than his past is.
The only one you’ve totally avoided trying to bring up the subject with is Dark. Your first real conversation had edged on it, and his reaction - aura practically blowing all the lightbulbs in the room, crackling copies of himself writhing in rage - had been pretty clearly in the ‘not positive’ camp. You’ve not had the stomach to unnecessarily incite his ire, so most of what you know about him, you’ve put together yourself. A vague understanding of his blended nature, the people he was before, their relationships to Mark… But it’s all guesses and deductive work about people long gone from the plane you inhabit. Grasping at shadows and context clues to paint a portrait of how the being, who deeply dislikes the outsize attention his central role as Mark’s primary ‘villain’ commands, came to be.
Yet, you do know some things about what he’s like. That he doesn’t seem to need to eat or take breaks of any kind. That he’s single-mindedly devoted to stopping Mark in his tracks, and intensely methodical about the whole endeavor. Even when you think you’ve caught him reading something for fun, it turns out to be Mark-adjacent. It’s impressive, you admit, but also why hearing those strains of songs sung long ago, finding him doing something unproductive has captured you so. To think of him taking time for himself, doing nothing but enjoying some music… it simultaneously feels incredibly decadent and comforting. For all his hardworking exterior, there are quiet moments Dark takes to relax. Even more than his music, that soothes something in your heart you didn’t even know was tense.
Plus, good lord. The man listens to croony, moony, love-sick music late at night when the rest of the Manor has retreated to their own separate corners. How could you not melt?
Yet it’s impossible for you not to wonder what exactly he does behind his office door. It’s always firmly shut, and even with the proclivity toward psychic abilities in the Manor’s residents, you can’t completely school the curiosity it inspires. Listening to a couple croon about the stars or something equally cheesy from your spot out in the hall, you’ll often picture him relaxing in one of the high-backed armchairs situated near the heavy fireplace. Maybe he’s shut the door to his workspace proper, allowed himself some wine from the cellar, propped his feet up… Maybe he’s truly relaxing, thinking of something altogether having nothing to do with his work. It’s anachronistic enough to your steadfast image of him to be ridiculous, but you also can’t help but hope it exists in some form, protected behind the dark wood that muffles already-quietly trilling piano keys.
This is why, late one night, you’re stopped in your tracks at the foot of the stairs, already able to hear his music. You’d been just about to pull yourself up the stairs by the handrails, eyes bleary from staring at your screen all day when you’d picked out the dreamy march of brass. You’ve only ever been able to hear his records when you’re standing on the landing - is something wrong? Cautiously, you ascend the tightly winding stairs, your thoughts mirroring the spiraling steps as they scramble, chasing away any haziness.
Reaching the landing, you find dancing firelight spilling out across the thick Persian rug there, Dark’s door cracked shockingly wide. The sight is almost obscene, illuminating the spot that has been your shadowy cocoon. It’s only made more stark by the clarity of the music that lilts through the air. You have the keen, embarrassed feeling that you should not be seeing what you’re seeing, that you’re intruding, infringing on something private - even though all you can see of the office is a little bit of wall just inside the door. Even so, the sudden need to stop this, to preserve something personal, quiet, safe for Dark overtakes you. You’re spurred into action, crossing the space on careful feet. You move to shut the door, to right this obvious wrong, but as your hand takes the old brass knob, the music from within murmurs tender thoughts of lovers embracing after an age apart. Even with your goal so firmly in mind, you can’t stop your eyes from flitting over the sliver of his office the crack in the door reveals.
And, oh, what it reveals.
As if intentionally centered for your view, Dark is, as you’ve imagined countless times, tucked into one of the armchairs near the fire. His suit jacket has been carefully folded and hung over the back of his chair, his starkly white dress shirt unbuttoned at the collar to reveal a bit of the skin at his throat. More is revealed by the tilt of his head as he rests it back in the crook of the armchair’s wings.
You’ve never seen him so… undressed before. You immediately flush, embarrassedly shooing the thought away before it can become anything more than a passing observation. You’re thankful to see that his piercing eyes are gently shut, the breaths he draws steady and quiet. Even his aura is still, nonexistent except for his colorlessness. The dull ring that accompanies him, too, is almost completely silent. Whatever remains is drowned out by the softly crackling gramaphone to his side.
Although you know he doesn’t need to sleep, the tender image of him relaxed enough as to fall into it twists something so totally in your heart that it keeps you there, hand on the doorknob. You know you need to close the door back, and carefully, too, so you don’t pop whatever bubble of peace he’s floating in, but… It’s like having a dragonfly land on the tip of your finger, spotting a deer at the edge of your garden, catching the sun breaking over the horizon and truly beginning to dawn. How can you look away before it ends?
But you’re playing with fire in waiting for this moment to end, and, unfortunately, you get burned.
At least, it feels like you do. Suddenly, Dark’s head comes up, his eyes cracking open, and the cold heat of being caught scalds the back of your neck. You go to close the door, but it’s too late - his black eyes catch yours, and he calls your name. It’s gentle, a distant question, but it still makes your heart sink into some pitiful little depth of your stomach. There’s no way to play this off casually; he sounds truly awake. Either he wasn’t actually sleeping, or you’ve startled him enough to banish any hint of drowsiness from his voice. You’ve ruined this precious little thing, your knowledge of it revealed, and, gosh, you feel miserable for it. But you were called, and so you crack the door a little wider, an apology already on your lips.
“I was just going to shut it for you, I’m sorry,” you offer, quietly, as if trying not to interrupt the music still going at his elbow.
Dark doesn’t immediately respond, watching you with his usually piercing, contrasted eyes. Yet, they’re softer, tired - was he actually sleeping? The gramophone crackles like the low fire nearby. The record playing spins wobblingly, curled with age. The music is even dreamier unfiltered like this, giving the lowly-lit room a hint of unreality. Time seems to stretch between you, and when he finally speaks, his echoing, multi-throated voice only adds to the feeling you’re imagining things.
“...you may come in, if you would like.”
Something has gone horribly wrong. He, or another ego, is dying or has died, you’re certain of it. That, or Mark has figured out your plan to collect them and gotten to one first, maybe Yancy or the Captain, taking them out of the picture or scooping them up for himself. It’s the only obvious explanation your startled mind can offer for seeing Dark so markedly undone - his jacket, his shirt, the door…
Just as quickly, you realize how ridiculous the thought is. Dark wouldn’t look like a rather sleepy cat, cozied up to the fire with his music of choice, much less invite you so casually into his inner sanctum if things had gone to hell. No, there’d be more rending of reality or quick, tense words - a contingency plan thrown into action.
Which means you actually have to deal with being invited into his office late at night, a place you’ve hovered around and imagined for nigh on a month. You force yourself to respond casually, nodding as if this is normal for the two of you as you step over the threshold. He gestures for you to shut the door, and you do, gently putting it to rights before crossing the bookshelf-lined room to join him.
Like you always do. Obviously.
Once near the fire, you can see his aura is beginning to stir once more, the edges of him blurring with compelling darkness. In all the imagining you’d dared to entertain, you have never considered what his face would look like in these moments. His brow is relaxed, his expression open, and though his attention is fully fixed on you, it doesn’t cut through you or hunt for answers. He is merely regarding, the firelight only able to cast dancing shadows across his face for all its warmth. He’s relaxed. Relax-ing .
It’s, again, almost obscene. So much more than you anticipated. It’s one thing to imagine all that you have in theory, a different one to see it in truth, to experience it. And Dark, relaxing, is something you can barely take your eyes off of. He looks so much more like a person, undone after a long day of work, not quite ready to trip off to bed. With his aura so reserved, only mildly undulating at the very edges of him, you could almost dismiss it as a trick of the light, if not for how he absorbs and negates color.
Just a man.
Trying to stay casual, you prop yourself on the chair across from him, chin in hand, and you both watch each other for a moment. Both quiet. Both tired. Except your silence is tinged with subtle awe. At being invited in, at being here, at seeing him this way. It’s like the killer panther that typically stares you down from the shadows giving you a lazy, sun-warmed blink. As much as you try to treat Dark normally, there are moments when you can’t help being amazed - though it’s usually due to his eldritch powers and not him engaging in the simple act of sleeping.
Which begs the question - why leave the door open while he was so indisposed? Mild concern rises again, and you feel compelled to ask.
“Is everything okay…?”
You swear his eyes twinkle, amused. It’s hard to tell with the fire dancing like it is, his face remaining otherwise unchanged. You want to frown, wondering how loud your thoughts have been, but leave it.
“Yes... and no, as always. Nothing has changed, if that is what you mean. There is no need to worry.”
Coming from anyone else, it would be a formality. Your shoulders would stay hunched, your brow might furrow. But when Dark says it, when he speaks more quietly than you think you’ve ever heard him speak, it scatters whatever remaining fears his invitation had kicked up to the wind. You exhale. It is a comfort, but… It doesn’t explain why he invited you in. If you had really ruined his illusion of privacy, would he so readily let you walk over its remnants?
Suddenly, the answer is clear - so simple and obvious as to be startling. You speak before you can question the thought.
“Just want some company?”
Dark continues to watch you, but his gaze loses some of its lethargy. The panther stirs, considering. Weighing. Calculating. Heat rises up your neck ever so slightly - that will teach you to jump to conclusions.
But then he hums and gives an affirming nod. He gestures to the seat you’re leaning on. “Again, if you would like…”
Is that hesitancy?
You really feel like you’re dreaming as you settle across from him. He just wants company. He hesitated. He couldn’t even ask for it. Notably distant Dark, who never joins the rest of you for meals, for after-dinner drinks, who you rarely ever see outside his office… wants company. Although the chair’s winged back curls around you and radiates warmth absorbed from the fire, you find it difficult to relax as he continues to, turning his black-and-white gaze to the fire. Does he want conversation? Comfortable silence? How are you meant to parse what he’s wanting against the background of how surreal it is that you’re actually here?
But little things remind you that this is very much happening - the heat of the nearby fire, the music’s volume being slightly louder than you’d imagined. Although, you remind yourself, you’ve been hearing it muffled by heavy wood until now. It’s still relatively soft, just clearer up close. Your eyes fall to the gramophone piping it out. You’ve seen it in passing, but it registered about as much as the carved wooden globe on the mantle - furniture, meant as a finishing touch for the room. It looks like a true antique, though, its curved neck and ornate mouth lovingly maintained, polished to a shine apart from a few inevitable age spots. It’s close enough to Dark for him to operate without getting up, records tidily shelved underneath.
Your eyes edge back to the man seated so nearby. His slowly awakening aura is gently tugging at your attention, but he himself pays you no mind. That relieves you, somewhat, a silent answer to what his idea of ‘company’ is.
You realize, then, that you’ve never simply existed with him before. Throughout your time at the Manor, you two have only ever been in each other’s company to work or exchange information. There’s always been a goal, something to focus on, to accomplish. But now… there’s nothing. Nothing to do but exist.
Why does that suddenly feel so hard?
You must be thinking rather loudly, because Dark’s gaze slides leisurely from the flames onto you. He tilts his head, but not in that strange drifting motion it sometimes does, gravitating to some sick angle of its own accord. No, he’s just curious. You smile sheepishly, wondering if all your mental spinning has disturbed his peace, made him second-guess inviting you in.
“Too loud?”
Another amused flicker in his colorless eyes. “No louder than usual.”
So tired Dark has jokes , apparently. You give him a look. “Not exactly comforting.”
“To be fair, they are much quieter than when you arrived.” It’s almost a compliment - at least he’s not calling you loud anymore. Letting that be a comfort, you attempt to relax back into the chair. It, like the rest of the Manor’s furniture, feels straight out of a period drama with none of the damage of age. It’s still as soft as it was whenever Dark crafted this bubble of reality.
“It’s hard when you can’t control it - like I have noise cancelling headphones and can’t hear myself or anyone else.”
He hums. “You do not need to explain it to me.” Ouch. You look to the fire, taking the inside of your cheek between your teeth. When will you learn to keep your foot out of your mouth? Dark senses the sudden silence and mildly clears his throat. “I mean… Only to say that I understand you do not have the same ability. I do not hold it against you.”
His voice still has that quietness to it, a low, gentle undercurrent. It’s practically an apology, how he chooses his words. You shift, rubbing your finger joints with your other hand. You’ve been told it looks like hand-wringing, but it soothes you and the soreness there. “I think you saw it differently, when I first got here,” you hazard, just as quiet as you look back to him. Dark is watching you evenly, but something shifts in his brow as he recalls that first day. How different your tones had been, how differently you’d approached the other. You’re only feet from where that first conversation took place, and yet…
“...much was different, then,” he murmurs. “I was, perhaps… harsher than I should have been. I was unaccustomed to the sensation, not at my best.” He seems to stop himself there, closing something that was edging open before looking back to the fire. “I have grown used to it. The sound of your thoughts does not trouble me, but you have also improved at closing your mind. It is impressive, for someone unlike the rest of us.”
Good lord, maybe he actually is dying. You don’t think you’ve heard so many kind words from the man in all your months of living together. His gaze stays fixed on the flames, even as you stare at him, a little stunned. Silence draws out between you, filled only by tonight’s accompaniment. Yet, it doesn’t spark with nervous energy or prickle in pointed coldness. It crackles like ancient records warped with time, old oak burning to warm a place apart from the rest of existence. You settle deeper into the armchair, eyes turning from the shadow you’re keeping company.
He only barely catches your pleased little smile, finding it hard to look at you for too long.
-
From then on, Dark leaves the door open for you, although cracked much less wide than before. When you call it a night, you make your way through the Manor to your seat near his fire instead of right to bed. Although the weather of the world still reaches you, the place Dark maintains is always just slightly colder, so the fire’s warmth is never unwelcome. Sometimes you talk, sometimes you sit together in silence, but regardless of how chatty either of you feel, there’s always music curling underneath the moment. Dark doesn’t sleep like he did the first night, but he always has his coat off and that softer turn to his eyes by the time you arrive. It’s strange, at first, to see him switch so much between his work and leisure personas, and at first you wonder why he’s not always so relaxed. Surely things would be less tense.
And then you remember Wilford’s incessant gunfire, Google’s underlying objective, the weight of his very existence. Without his steady, cool glare, the Manor would be full of bullet holes, and they’d all probably be dead with Mark free to break reality to his whim. If Dark wasn’t so tightly wound, everything would come undone.
So you enjoy - scratch that. You let him be how he is, in each moment, without comparison. Sure, it’s nice to talk to Dark when he isn’t grinding out words from between his teeth, and seeing him undone has removed whatever distance might have remained between you, but to say you enjoy him…
Christ. Who are you kidding - you really enjoy him.
It really happens without you noticing, and it almost drives you nuts with how cliche it all is. Things just build up - he has a pillow placed in your chair just so for your lower back, you pull the smallest of smiles of him with a well-put observation (and find that his eyes crinkle the same way the other egos’ do) - until one night he asks you to dance.
He’s not quite so blunt as that about it, but it’s essentially what happens. You’re sitting together, having fallen into one of those comfortably quiet moments when a song comes on that you recognize. Not from your time lingering around Dark’s door, but from before you came to the Manor, vague memories welling up of a ballroom dancing class in undergrad you’d taken for fun full of sore toes and sweaty hands. You laugh, suddenly, startled at just how far away that moment feels. You try to cover it with your hand, but you continue to chuckle as something about the ridiculousness of it gets to you, and Dark watches you with some mix of amusement and concern. There’s a little of that predator’s intentionality there - searching for answers. You shake your head as you calm, dropping your hand but still smiling.
“Just… I know this song.”
“Oh?” Read: Continue.
“Well, I… Back in my first year at university, I... well, I signed up for this ballroom dancing unit. This was one of the songs we used, I think.” Dark inclines his head as something changes in his gaze. Your last little aftershock of laughter passes and you settle back into watching the fire lick at its grate, content to let it lie. But Dark continues to watch you. Feeling him still staring, you look back - very little of that soft turn to his eyes remains. He is a man focused. “What?” you eventually ask, shifting under his stare.
“I did not know you danced.”
You fluster, then, scoffing at the idea, eyes falling to the carpet between you. “I… don’t. Unless you count slow dancing, I guess. It was just the one class. Forever ago.”
He’s not content, fixated. But quiet. Considering. Weighing. Then…
“Would you like to?”
You look back quickly enough that you wonder if his aura pulled at you in tandem with your surprise. “Wh. I… Now?”
He nods, slowly. You just stare, trying to process the idea and coming up with no clear thoughts. Then he does something funny - he actually shifts under your scrutiny, gaze flickering away for the briefest of moments before returning to you. That alone is enough to stun you further, Dark looking practically shy, but he explains. “In my day, I was an avid dancer. I enjoyed little else outside of… work. I can show you how.”
You momentarily wonder which of his past lives he means before you find yourself nodding in agreement. Even if you hadn’t wanted to, this is… new. Dark offering so much at such little gain to himself, unfurling those cards from so close to his chest. Refusing now might mean they would never come away again.
“Can you?” Your voice is surprisingly dry, distant, but Dark doesn’t seem to notice, focused on the task now at hand. On you. He only nods and rises from his chair in a smooth motion before offering you a hand.
From experience, you know he leeches color from whatever he touches, even things in his vicinity if his aura is expansive and active enough. Yet, you’ve never had reason to make direct contact, and so you still watch in minor surprise as your hand loses its luster and gains a black-and-white cast when you take his. “It isn’t permanent,” he explains as you stand to join him. “It’s only… plants, that can’t handle it.” He sounds mildly embarrassed, and it clicks why you’ve never seen him in the Host’s garden. The future-sighted ego had probably barred him from the place years ago.
“Oh,” you reply lamely, and he ducks his head somewhat before leading you to the more open space between your chairs and the outer office door. There, he turns smoothly and you’re in position, having used his hold on your hand to subtly guide you closer. Your other hand lands on his upper arm, almost at his shoulder, and he gently shifts his elbow under yours to guide it to rest on top, near his collar. His own hand comes to rest higher on your back than you remember from class, almost on your shoulder blade.
It feels so proper, how you stand, how he holds you… Against the age-old music set to guide you and the Manor’s unchanged decor, you can almost see who he was before - the swish of a beaded skirt, the creak of a heavy cane - but then he speaks, heavy with shadow, and all you know is the darkness in your arms, here and now.
“Just a simple step. You remember a waltz?” You nod - did we dance this close together back then? “Good. Then you know to follow me. Stay relaxed...”
The idea of relaxing flies out of your mind the minute he guides you backward. All your mental energy is focused on not laughing in pure nervous surprise as he seems to get closer and closer before your muscle memory manages to kick in and you’re stepping back with him. You’re slightly out of sync, and he slows just so to catch up with you before he brings you back up to the pace of the song. “Relax,” he murmurs, dipping his head so much closer to yours than feels decent as he speaks, as if sharing a secret. “I have you.”
You certainly do, you think, immediately glad you’ve been practicing keeping your mind closed more often. With all the time you were spending with Dark in his off-hours, you had felt it was only fair that you didn’t overload him any further. That extra practice is coming in handy now as your thoughts swirl behind the dam you imagine holds them back from the general psychic public - your dance partner in particular.
True to his word, Dark keeps it simple, guiding you slowly around the open space, easily turning you in lazy patterns across the floor. And thank goodness for that - anything more complicated and you wouldn’t be able to balance it with how hyper-aware you are of everywhere the two of you touch, the feeling of his firm shoulder and crisp dress shirt under your hand, the skin of his palm against yours - softer than you’d imagined, with calluses inside his first finger from years of pen-writing.
All the same little anxieties bubble up, long-forgotten but haunting you now with a vengeance. Are you gripping him too tightly? Are you anticipating his movements too much? Is your hand getting sweaty, or is that normal? Can he hear you breathing funny? You’ve thankfully settled into a comfortable angle of faces, yours turned slightly to the left and down, eyes fixed firmly on the curve of his shoulder. You don’t think you could trust yourself to make eye contact just now. You can’t say how exactly Dark’s face is turned, though, so focused on keeping your eyes where they are and your thoughts in check that you haven’t looked - nor do you hear him speaking your name until he squeezes you ever so slightly.
You turn, bidden, and you’re practically nose to nose. His stark eyes are already watching you when you meet them, and it steals whatever shallow breath was in your lungs. Up close, you would think you would be able to discern a hint of color in his irises, find that they were really a dark, dark brown. But they are truly, completely black. And they watch you so carefully, thoughtfully, with barely any room to breathe between you.
Your face must betray how the proximity startles you, because you get treated to another of his small, almost imperceptible smiles. Up close. You can see how it pulls at his eyes, and you’re thankful now that you can’t bring yourself to look away. “I… Yes?”
“You’re quiet,” he explains, after a beat.
“Do you… typically talk, dancing like this?” When did your throat get so dry? Dark chuckles, low and only for a moment.
“You can... But I was referring to your thoughts.” Uh oh.
“Oh…?” You try to sound normal, mildly interested instead of panicked, already floundering for what to say. Dark’s eyes flicker across your face, and you feel horribly exposed. As if, through the underbrush, you’ve just caught the gleam of a predator’s gaze.
“The closer you are, the more clearly I hear them. Yet…” He pauses, turning you past a low table. “I can barely hear you at all.” Then his voice grows softer, somehow, and your throat feels like it’s never known water. “Where did you go?”
“I…” You swallow fruitlessly, dropping your gaze back to his shoulder, to safety. What can you say to explain the sudden, obvious gap without blurting oh, it’s nothing, I only just realized I’ve been falling in love with you for the past couple of months when you asked me to dance and now I’m trying not to lose it while you hold me. “I’ve… been practicing,” you try. It’s the truth, at least. But you still can’t meet his eyes, though you feel them keenly observing you. “Didn’t… Didn’t want to be shouting at you, from, well... this close.”
He’s quiet then, focusing on sweeping you steadily around the room. The song has changed, your pace slowing somewhat to match the new one, and he takes the chance to guide you through a slightly more complicated step, jettisoning words in favor of taking you through a lazy spin before you fall back into the same step as before. You think you might have dodged a bullet as you settle into the movement, your gentle contact not so new and mind-reeling as it was when you started. But then he speaks, and the echo of his voice almost covers his words for how low it is.
“I… enjoy hearing your thoughts. Hearing you.” Dark’s hand holds yours more firmly as the one on your back brings you close to his chest. He’s practically cradling you against him, and you turn your face towards his in the moment to keep from being trapped looking away. You’ve never seen him make the face he’s wearing now - so serious, brow pulled just slightly, intent, yet that searching intensity has faded. Earnest . “I… I enjoy you. Unless you want your privacy, you are free to… be open with me. If you would like,” he's quick to add, his signature phrase that feels so much like as you wish.
You’re grateful he brings you to an easy stop, even as the music continues behind you because dancing has become beyond your grasp. Your eyes flicker across his shadowed face, mind scrambling as the dam you imagine creaks dangerously within. How much is too much? You hunt for clues in his expression, his face betraying so damn little like always, but then - then - his eyes flicker ever so briefly to your lips, and your eyes perceive a slightly darker shade of gray unfurling across his cheeks.
So you let go.
You don’t drown him in it, of course, but you allow your mind to open slowly once more. He inhales a forcibly steady breath, eyes searching yours once more as he processes, weighs, and finally draws you completely into him, head turning just so to finally fit your lips together in a kiss that feels like crisp, refreshing relief and wood smoke under a winter moon. You breathe in, feeling how cool he is to the touch, how steady he is under your hands, your kiss, even as his aura constantly roils.
Dark drops your hand to cradle your head and draw you further in, your arm finds its way around his broad back. His lips leave yours and you’re already starting to imagine your next kiss before he interrupts and gives it to you, a low sound in his throat and his hand bringing a tilt to your head that makes you incredibly thankful for how he’s holding you up. You kiss, and kiss, parting and rejoining in soft pecks and long presses that make the old standards you’ve bonded over sound like both the truest truths and palest lies.
Eventually, though, he withdraws, letting you catch your breath, soothing you with small kisses trailing from your lips to your jaw and back toward the joint of it and your neck. He’s adoring and unhurried - though the farther down his lips descend, the less air you can properly draw in. He slows on the softer skin there, hand still supporting your head where you tipped it back for him, and inhales gently as if he, too, needs to be steadied. His voice is a distant rumble, as much in your head as it is spoken. “Is my music really so moony...?”
It’s so sudden, your thoughts laid bare against the hint of his insecurity. A laugh bubbles up and out of you, breathless waves shaking your body. You only hold onto him tighter, and he squeezes you back in turn. You can feel him really smiling down against your neck, the pull of his lips and rounding of his cheeks evident against your sensitive skin. Why had you even tried to hide?
“The fact that you could sing any of them while gazing longingly at the stars should answer your question,” you tease, and he’s laughing with you, settling into just holding you close. “...but I like it. It’s romantic.”
“It was not my original intent, but...what wonderful results,” he murmurs, kissing your throat once more before coming back up, letting you catch your breath properly. How does he make the cheesiest things sound good?
“Mine either,” you admit. His brow quirks above warm eyes.
“No? What, then, was your intent in imagining how I chose to relax?” he asks, a wicked tease coloring his tone. You blink, and then heat rises up the back of your neck, your ears burn. He knew?? The whole time?????
“You could…” Your voice is distant as Dark draws the back of his hand softly across your cheek, fingers trailing the blush rising there. His eyes dip to follow it, watching it unfurl under your skin with the most damnably amused smile you’ve ever seen him wear. Damn him. Damn him, of course he knew!
“You should know doors can do very little to stop me…” You groan miserably. “But I liked it. It was romantic,” he continues, echoing you. It has such buried mirth that it only serves to embarrass you further, so you worm your arms against his chest, trying to push him off. He only chuckles that deep chuckle and holds you closer, lips pressing to your temple. “And so kind of you to want to protect me and my little moment… Did I really look so deliciously undressed...”
“Oh my god. Oh my god!” And here he had been playing coy this whole time! Letting you just dangle all your most embarrassing thoughts for anyone to see! You continue to struggle against him, if only to register your complaint. “You’ve completely ruined this, I hope you’re happy, you insufferable--” He dips and catches your lips again, humming and silencing your insults with his kiss. For all your indignant protesting, it’s impossible not to melt against him, your hands that tried to push him away stilling against his chest before sliding up to meet behind his neck. When he finally breaks your embrace, you huff softly. “I can’t believe you.”
He’s smiling, but sobers slightly as you hold each other, his eyes just taking you in. “...it was a comfort to me, to know I was not alone in my affection… despite all my hesitation in admitting it. I did say I enjoy hearing you for a reason, lamb.”
You’re melting, but then your nose wrinkles. “Lamb?” Dark tilts his head.
“Pet?”
“Why all the animal names?”
It’s his turn to huff, then. “It seems I am not as skilled as Wilford when it comes to terms of endearment.” Your nose wrinkles further, the rotating cast of gushy names the mustachioed man throws around only making you wince with laughter.
“Please, no, I know you can do better than those.”
Dark puffs up a little at that, somehow pleased by the implication. “I’ll have to put my mind to it when I’m fresh, then. But for now…” He draws back, taking your hand into his, the other sliding up your back and into position. “Shall we?”
“Gladly,” you murmur, and he leads you in an altogether different dance.
454 notes · View notes
kpopimaginings · 3 years
Text
“Are you nervous?” - Jackson Wang (NSFW)
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A/N: Happy Birthday to Jackson. Our energy. Loveable Wang Gae. Please enjoy this completely self-indulgent smut I have written about him and let me know if you enjoy it <3
After a busy day hanging out with the GOT7 boys, you found yourself sat on the sofa with Jackson. He was the reason you were friends with the other guys, and you counted him as one of your closest friends, if not the closest.
“Jacks,” you said suddenly, while you were leaning on his shoulder.
He simply hummed in response, cueing you to keep talking.
“You know you’re like my best friend,” you started.
“Yeah, and you’re mine.”
“So I can tell you anything and you won’t judge or tease me about it?”
“Of course,” he told you, “Especially because you sound super nervous about whatever it is. This is a safe space, promise.”
“Ok, well, it’s partly me opening up, and partly a potentially weird and awkward question that we can definitely pretend I didn’t ask depending on how you answer.”
He adjusted your positions on the sofa so you were facing each other.
“Y/n, you’re rambling,” he said softly, placing a hand on your cheek. “It’s ok, you can be open with me, and if you end up wanting to forget the conversation then we will.”
“Well,” you said, taking a deep breath. “I’ve never had sex with a guy,” you admitted. “I guess, I’ve just been waiting to find someone I can trust. Someone I’m completely comfortable around, and I’ve been thinking…”
Jackson’s eyes widened slightly as his mind started to wander, wondering where this conversation might be going. You saw him swallow hard, however, he was holding eye contact with you, nodding understandingly and never interrupting.
“I feel completely comfortable around you,” you told him.
He didn’t say anything, wanting you to finish talking, and actually say the words before what he suspected was about to happen happened. He knew there was no way he’d be able to say no if you asked. Keeping his face in check was hard, as he fought back the boyish grin that wanted to spread across his features. Instead, he simply rested his hands on each of your thighs, letting you know he wasn’t going anywhere.
“This might be completely crazy, because we’re just friends, but I trust you completely, and you hear stories about people doing it with their friend the first time because it’s just more comfortable and relaxed that way, and maybe you’d like to be that friend for me?”
“Are you asking me to be your first?” he asked, carefully controlling his voice.
“Yes,” you told him, your voice coming out much stronger than you felt in the moment.
“You want to have sex with me?”
“Yes. Is that strange?”
“No,” he blurted out, maybe a bit too quickly. “I mean, I don’t mind. Look, you are my closest friend, so I want to help you out, and I’d be lying if I said you weren’t attractive to me, but are we sure about this?”
“I am,” you told him. “This isn’t just out of the blue, I’ve thought about it.”
“Well, it’s your first time, and everything should be on your terms. I’m honoured that you trust me so much you could bring this up, let alone want to share such a special moment in your life with me.”
You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding. “Are you saying yes?”
“Yes,” said Jackson. “As long as you are sure this is what you want, and I have your consent the whole time. You change your mind at any point, you tell me.”
“And that’s why I choose you. I know you’ll stop if I want, and I know I’ll be able to tell you stop and not feel any pressure.”
Jackson, now happy that this was what you wanted, cupped your face in his hands and pressed his lips to yours.
“Bedroom?” he asked, when he pulled back again.
You nodded, as you stood taking his hand and heading to your room. Once there, Jacksons lips latched on to yours again as his hands started to explore your body, running up and down your sides, before venturing down to your butt. Cautiously, your hands snaked under his shirt. There had always been part of you that wanted an excuse to get your hands on his abs.
“If you’re uncomfortable, stop me,” he reminded you, as he swiftly pulled his shirt over his head, before reaching for yours.
With both shirts discarded, he pulled you back in to a kiss, his hands heading for the clasp on your bra. You flinched ever so slightly and he stopped his movements.
“What?” he asked quickly.
“Nothing,” you said.
“Y/n, are you nervous?” he asked, eyes looking deep into yours.
You smiled softly. “Is it weird that I’m more nervous about the getting naked than the sex part right now?”
Jackson then smiled too. “I’m sure you look as great without clothes as you look in them. But, if you’re that worried about it, get under the covers and take your own clothes off,” he told you, just trying to work out how best to make you comfortable.
As you jumped under the sheets, he followed suit. Before you knew it, you were lying naked in your bed next to your best friend. You quickly leaned over to connect your lips again as his hand ventured down your body. His movements were slow and gentle, giving you plenty of opportunity to stop him if things got uncomfortable.
You tensed slightly just before his hand reached your most intimate part causing him to hesitate.
“I’m just nervous,” you told him. “I want this, keep going.”
Your words were all Jackson needed to continue his movements. By the time his fingers had reached their final destination, you were already wet. He simply smiled at you before bring your lips together again, and gently sliding a finger into you. Your breath hitched at the unfamiliar sensation, and Jackson briefly pulled away from the kiss so that you could stop him if you needed to. When you didn’t say anything, he closed the distance again and began moving carefully in and out of you. You already found your hips moving in time with him involuntarily.
“Is this ok?” he asked.
You just nodded as you stared into his eyes, your hands now playing with his hair.
Once he was confident that you were happy and comfortable, he added a second finger, continuing his actions. You stifled a moan at the new feeling, and Jackson smirked.
“You don’t need to stay quiet, there’s no one else here to hear you,” he reminded you.
You bit your lip, eyes avoiding his shyly.
“You don’t need to be shy or embarrassed about moaning,” he encouraged. “It lets me know you’re enjoying this, so I can keep going and pleasure you.”
“Ok,” you said, quietly, smiling up at him. “Jackson… I think I’m ready now.”
“You think?” he queried, raising an eyebrow.
“Please…?”
There was no way Jackson could deny you what you wanted when you gazed up at him like that, your body still automatically grinding against his hand.
“Oh, wait!” said Jackson suddenly getting up.
You whined loudly, wanting him to come back.
“Alright, just a second,” he said, fumbling with his discarded trousers. “Yes! Ok, important lesson: condoms,” he said coming back to you with the little foil package in his hand. “I don’t care if you’re on the pill, condoms should still be used, ok?”
You nodded obediently at him, a little smile on your face at how sweet he was being for you.
“Right, I’m ready, are you?” said Jackson once he was settled next to you again, now with a condom on.
“Yes, I am.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Jackson, come on!” you said, with a hint of a laugh in your voice. He was just being so typically Jackson, and exactly the type of person you needed.
He rolled over so that he was hovering over you, one arm supporting his weight while the other lined himself up at your entrance. Very slowly, he eased in to you, his eyes watching yours, full of concern. One of your hands came up to rest on his cheek, before guiding his face down to yours bringing your lips back together.
A few times you gasped into the kiss as he slowly stretched you out, nothing felt painful enough that you wanted to stop him, but the fact that you would occasionally stop kissing him back made him pause.
“I’m ok,” you told him.
“You’re not,” he responded. “Be honest with me, or this isn’t going to work.”
“I mean, I’m not in pain it just feels…” you trailed off unable to find the words to explain this new sensation.
“Different?” Jackson offered.
“Yeah,” you smiled shyly. “Go slow?”
Jackson nodded and bit his lip in concentration, constantly reminding himself he was there for you and not his own pleasure. He continued to edge in, bit by bit watching your face for cues on when to slow down, or stop, or starting moving again.
Once he had pushed in as far he could, he stopped with a low gravelly groan.
“Are you still good?” he asked you, his voice now shaking slightly with pleasure at the sensation of you wrapped around him.
“Yeah,” you nodded, already starting to feel breathless and overwhelmed.
“Good, me too,” he moaned, before remembering himself. “Are you happy for me to start moving? I’m less likely to keep stopping and checking in on you then,” he warned you, knowing that once his own pleasure completely took over, it was going to be harder for him to stop.
“I’ll tell you if I need you to stop, I promise,” you assured him. “Ready when you are.”
Jackson pressed his forehead to yours, a smile on his face as he began moving his hips, slowly at first, thrusting gently in and out of you. You were about to bite your lip, when you remembered what Jackson had said about not stifling your noises, so instead you let out a moan, spurring him on.
“See, such a beautiful sound,” he cooed.
You hid your face, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious.
“Hey, no need to hide,” he told you, but making no effort to move your hands from your face. “I thought you felt comfortable around me.”
“I do, I’m not used to being complimented on my sex noises,” you pointed out.
Jackson laughed slightly, before passionately pressing his lips to yours, instantly relaxing you again.
Gradually his pace increased, and he started groan himself. You could tell instantly why he didn’t want you to stay quiet, hearing the sounds he was making only turned you on more, and you arched your back, starting to circle your hips against his. Jackson buried his face in the side of your neck and began kissing and sucking the tender skin there as your hands reached for his  back, feeling the muscles there rippling under your touch.
As everything started to consume you, Jacksons hand reached down between your bodies once more, and as his fingers brushed just the right spot you whined, clenching around him. This time Jackson’s breath caught in his throat as the sensation you had just created.
“Oh God, Y/n, that felt amazing,” he moaned out.
“Touch me again,” you managed to whimper softly.
He was more than happy to oblige, as his fingers went to work. You felt your whole body starting to tense as you got louder. Jackson dropped down so that his weight was now supported by his forearm, meaning his body was pressed closer to yours, increasing the pleasure you were feeling.
With cries of his name spilling from your lips, you finally came undone, a blissful release washing over you as breath shook. Jackson’s movements started to stutter, as he grunted into your shoulder, eagerly chasing his own high, now that he knew you’d reached yours.
Once he’d finished he rolled off of you and lay next to you in the bed, both of trying to regulate your breathing.
“Thank you,” he said and laughed slightly.
“I think I should be the one thanking you,” you pointed out, “You were perfect.”
“I mean, I’m a guy, I’m always grateful when a girl lets me have sex with her,” he explained and you laughed again. “But this was something else.” He turned onto his side so that he was facing you. “The fact that you trusted me and actually sought me out to be your first time is amazing to me, and somehow made the sex even better, so thank you.”
You then turned to face him too, gently running a finger along his defined cheekbone and jaw line.
“And thank you for proving me right, and being exactly the person I wanted to share this with.”
Jackson simply smiled, before leaning over and pressing a kiss to your forehead. This was definitely a moment neither of you was going to forget.
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NAVIGATION  |  GOT7 MASTERLIST
589 notes · View notes
candychronicles · 4 years
Text
heavens // t. keigo/hawks
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A/N: my take on the roommates theme for the bnharem collab! honestly didn’t know where i was going with this one and it seems a bit random/rushed so i apologize in advance but hope you enjoy nonetheless! 
CHARACTER PAIRING: Takami Keigo/Hawks x F!Reader
WORD COUNT: 3,491
WARNINGS: oral (f!receiving), some language 
SYNOPSIS: despite his growing popularity, you two remained steady roommates, which confused you to no end. what was his true motive in keeping you around? 
And they were roommates! Click here to read more!
Hawks was an interesting character to say the least. when you first moved in, you weren’t all too sure what to expect. he was, at the time, a fairly popular hero, but nowhere near the status he held today. he was charming, suave, friendly and it seemed genuine at the time. things went downhill quick though as his popularity rose and along with it, his annoying, god-like tendencies. 
what you didn’t understand was why he kept you around after all this time. you didn’t necessarily need to live with him still, but as he got more popular and therefore gained more money, the areas he lived in grew nicer and nicer until you were on a gorgeous top floor penthouse with a stunning view, all for the price of your original, dingy apartment. what you could afford on your own would be nowhere near the luxury that he was offering. that’s why you stayed, but you weren’t sure why he offered to let you continue to stay with him after all this time.
sure, you were friends, got along for the most part and when you didn’t, stayed out of each other’s hair, but he didn’t owe you anything and you certainly didn’t want to feel like you were in his debt. yet something attracted the two of you together continuously despite it all. 
what you didn’t know was that Hawks very much enjoyed having you around. you’d deny it until you were blue in the face but he heard one too many times you touching yourself in your bedroom, muffled moans matching those of the girl or guy he was fucking that night. he often did his best to give you a show, cursing, spitting, hitting, anything he could do to rile you up, get you to hear the lewd sounds coming from the apartment. you acted like you didn’t know what he was talking about, scoffed when he invited you to join him or give you his own private show and acted like you didn’t know he was doing that all on purpose just to tease you. 
truth be told, you pushed all those thoughts aside when it came to him. he was attractive, very much so, and also very unattainable, in your eyes anyways. his god-like complex was annoying at times but also very warranted. he was popular with everyone he met-children, women, men, the elderly, hell, you don’t think he ever met a dog that didn’t like him. he was strong, powerful, commanding of the quirk he weld so well. his personality was nothing short of smooth, like honey over ice cream melting on your tongue. you felt so incredibly drawn to him that your brain absolutely shut out any idea of it, giving yourself no hope that he would ever reciprocate the pure feelings of desire you felt towards him. after awhile, your convincing became reality and you began to question everything, desperate to detach yourself from his enigmatic ways. 
hey sweetheart, will be gone for most of the day. left some money for groceries and a little extra for whatever you want. don’t miss me too much
-H
you scoffed at the note pasted to your refrigerator, neon pink glaring at you in the morning sun trickling from the balcony window. he had been gone a lot lately, sometimes bringing home people at night, mostly crashing straight on the couch before he had even gotten a chance to change clothes. you acted like you didn’t miss him, miss his presence, the lingering touches that you swore were just him being an ass and making fun of you, but in reality, you missed the hell out of him. the domesticity that he showed when it was just you two vulnerable late at night, tired from a hard day of work, it made you realize that he wasn’t a god all the time after all.
that thought didn’t change your mind about his attainability, however. in fact, it only seemed to spur your ideals on more, convincing yourself that a man who could be so vulnerable and yet so strong was one who deserved more than what you could give. it would never be you and you were content with that fact, or so you thought.
your day was long and grueling, working patrols and small missions as a pro hero. you were likeable enough but when it came down to it, you didn’t care to be popular, didn’t care to make a ton of money or be interviewed by dozens of people a month. you just wanted to do your job and keep people safe and at the end of the day, that was what you accomplished. 
it was nearly midnight when you returned home, the elevator dinging closed behind you as you walked into the penthouse. the lights were still off, everything in place from this morning, which meant that Hawks had not arrived home yet despite him being gone for nearly the whole day. anger bubbled up underneath your skin. you knew he didn’t owe you anything, you knew you were nothing more than roommates, but sometimes feeling so isolated and alone in this big space with no one to talk to or do anything with left you antsy and annoyed. in simple frustration and retaliation, you locked the balcony window, forcing him to come up the elevator like a dignified man, bringing his nightly fuck in through the lobby instead of sneaking them inside like he often did.
it was nearly six am before you were woken up to a loud thud, the door smacking against the wall. you sighed, allowing yourself to calm down before you tried to go back to bed, but before you got a chance, a knock sounded at your door.
“what?” you asked irately, not in the mood to entertain him and his antics.
“why’d you lock the balcony window?” he asked simply, arms crossed. 
as you sat up to answer, you noticed his calm demeanor not so calm anymore. his chest was flaring up and down, body wobbly, and he reeked of alcohol.
“so much for a calm night,” you muttered. “i locked the door because i didn’t want to hear you fucking any of your whores while i was trying to sleep.”
“oh baby, you know you like it, like the sounds i make, the words i say. all you have to do is admit it and i can be all yours.”
“you wish bird brain,” you spat back at him, done with the conversation as you shimmied yourself back into bed, pulling the covers up to your chin and promptly shutting your eyes, ignoring the feeling of his stare burning into your brain.
“i do wish. i wish it were you i was fucking. i’ve wished that since the day i met you, all excited and doe eyed, ready to take on the world and all of its challenges. you never let my fame get in the way, never treat me any differently. you’ve been by my side throughout it all and yet you won’t let me get too close to you. why is that? afraid i’ll break your heart little one?”
you sat back up again quickly only to realize that he had moved to the foot of your bed. he sat down, taking off his boots and shucking them on the floor only to crawl practically into your lap, snuggling into your thigh.
“i won’t break your heart. i’ll only hurt you if you want me to, which i know you do, at least a little bit. but i’d n-never hurt your heart. you’re too precious for that princess, so sweet to me, so so angelic. and yet i can hear your moans through the walls, practically feel you arching off your bed as you chased your high, desperate for a release, wishing it were me who was touching you instead of your own fingers. i can do that you know. all you need to do is say the magic word and i’m yours. no more fucking other people, just me and you. i’ll spoil you rotten, anything you could possibly want and it’s all yours. you’d never have to worry about a thing again, yeah? what do you say?”
your heart hitched into your throat at his babbling confession. surely he wasn’t serious, right? it must’ve been the alcohol talking. you knew that if you said yes he was just going to tease you and tell you that he was joking and never wanted to see you ever again. you were just sure of it… but, in the off case that he was being serious… you couldn’t mess this up.
“yeah, okay,” you replied, voice hitching in your throat as you agreed with him.
you waited a few seconds for the harsh sting of a reply but nothing came. you cast your eyes down to see Hawks passed out, clinging to you as if his life depended on it. sighing, you flopped back down onto the bed, heels of your palms pressed into your eye sockets, brain full of thoughts as you tried to sift through your feelings. eventually you just gave up and passed out against the cool sheets of your bed, too tired to deal with the emotional turmoil you were putting yourself through.
when you woke up the next morning, Hawks was no longer against your thigh but rather plastered to your side. you weren’t sure how you ended up being spooned by the lanky man but it wasn’t necessarily the first time you had cuddled. your brain began working against you almost immediately, convincing yourself that the previous night's events were nothing more than a drunken spur from your roommate and that he did not, in fact, want to be with you.
with those thoughts in mind, you began to wiggle your way out of his grasp, nearly making it out of bed before you felt a hand shoot out and grab you by the wrist. 
“where are you going beautiful? sleep with a man and then ditch him before he even gets a chance to wake up? how heartless of you.”
“oh shut up, you know damn well that we did not sleep together. in fact, you came in here at six in the morning just to simply annoy the hell out of me. now that’s what i call heartless.”
“we didn’t sleep together but we could’ve,” he teased, fingers rubbing gently up and down your arm as he attempted to coax you back into bed, but your mind worked on overdrive, simply not believing that he was interested in you at all. 
“why do you always like to make fun of me, huh? does it give you some sick satisfaction to dangle hope like that in front of my face only to snatch it away from me if i ever say yes?” you spat, getting sick and tired of his games.
“princess, i’m not lying to you, nor am i making fun of you. i would never offer something like this if i wasn’t serious. i want to take care of you in any way i can-emotionally, sexually, financially, anything you need, i want to give it to you. i was trying to drop you hints, give you the space to come to your own conclusions but it seems that i miscalculated how that pretty little brain of yours works. instead of believing that i was seriously flirting with you, it seems as if you thought that i was making fun of you instead. how funny that the mind works like that sometimes. i must admit i was a fool for not seeing it sooner, but now it makes so much sense.”
“what are you rambling on about?” you asked, furrowing your brow in confusion as you tried to make sense of the fact that he was not only dead serious about wanting to be with you but also psychoanalyzing your thoughts at the same time.
“how you would always get mad when i brought people home but never said anything to me, how you always scoffed at my sweet words, would never take money from me despite me leaving it very clearly for you, never getting too close to me despite living together for years. i’m honestly dumbfounded that i didn’t realize sooner. you’ve been in love with me for a long time too, huh? except, unlike me, you truly never thought you had a chance.”
“u-uh, yeah, i-i just, Keigo, what are you really trying to say to me?”
“sweetheart, be mine, wholly and fully in every way possible. let me take care of you like i’ve always wanted, always tried to do. this isn’t some joke or elaborate ruse, i’m not lying to you or trying to hurt you in any way. i really, truly want to be with you.”
you exhaled heavily, not realizing you had been holding your breath the whole time, searching his eyes for any sign of a lie, not finding anything except sincerity and hope.
“okay,” you relented, nodding your head. “yeah, if you say you’re not lying to me, i’ll trust you. i just, i don’t know. i never realized that you actually liked me back. i never would’ve guessed it in a million years. never would’ve thought i would hear any words like that come out of your mouth let alone so sincerely.”
you looked down, twiddling your thumbs as you contemplated the situation once more, but before you could let your brain get the best of you, Hawks placed his slender fingers underneath your chin, lifting your face up so that you could peer at him. he leaned forward slowly, foreheads pressed together.
“is it okay if i kiss you?”
you nodded your head, squeaking out a quiet “yes” before surging forward to place your lips on his, desperate to feel him, desperate to quiet the negative voices in your head and surround yourself with him instead.
he matched your pace eagerly, wrapping his hand around the back of your neck to pull you forward even more, his own desperation leaking through the kiss. he was so enamored with you, the way you smelt, your mussy hair, the sparkle in your eyes, the feeling of your soft lips against his own. it was almost too much to handle. he hadn’t been with anyone in awhile, preferring to wait it out and confront you when he had the courage to do so, and he felt himself getting more and more antsy as time went on. he wanted to respect you, treat you with the dignity and honor that you deserved, but in that moment, all he wanted to do was ruin you and mark you as his own.
“baby, you need to tell me if i go to far, yeah? i just want to make you feel good, never uncomfortable. let me take care of you like you deserve,” he panted, adjusting himself closer to you.
“i trust you Keigo. i’m yours.”
he groaned at the sound of you, of how pathetic and weak you were towards him, how you trusted to be vulnerable around him, trusted that he would take care of you. he had never wanted to ruin anything so badly in his life and he was going to do his best to make sure you knew you were his.
the kisses turned more sensual, tongues dipping in and around each other, exploring one another for what felt like the first time ever. for you, it had been awhile, telling yourself that you were too busy to be sexual with someone else when in actuality you had been craving a certain blonde all along. for him, this was something entirely new and special. he never got the chance to be truly intimate with anyone, let his guard down, want to please his partner more than himself, but you were different, special in the fact that you loved him for him and no other reason than that. 
“please Keigo, i need more,” you whined, fisting at his shirt as you tried to pull him impossibly closer to your body. 
“anything for you princess.” 
his shirt came off first, a delicate process he mastered years ago. he reached for your own shirt, fingers playing at the hem as he once again asked permission. you replied by pulling it off yourself, exposing your breasts to him. he immediately latched onto your left nipple, hand coming up to pinch the right, gently coaxing you to lay back down on the bed as he followed, hands and mouth never leaving your body. he laved you with his tongue, leaving a trail of cool moisture in its wake, sucking and biting at every soft spot he could think of, wanting so hard to hear you moan. 
“that’s it baby, don’t be shy. i want to hear you moan, say my name.”
you responded with a groan as his hand came to rest on your clothed cunt, feeling the wetness through your shorts. he smirked at the realization that you did truly want him as bad as he wanted you and the thought had his cock straining in his pants. it wasn’t long before he had freed himself from his confines, watching the way your eyes drank up the sight of him through the filtered light. 
gently, you reached out your hand to paw at his cock, marveling in the way it twitched at the slightest touch. you were enamored by him, all of him. before you kneeled a greek god willing to worship you, a mere mortal. you didn’t know what you did to deserve this but you figured you’d spend the rest of your life thanking the heavens.
“don’t worry about me right now, yeah? let’s just focus on making you feel good,” he cooed, reaching down to gently tug at your shorts.
you lifted your hips up without question, allowing him to pull the fabric down your body, your underwear coming along with it. he greedily watched as your slick stringed against the fabric before snapping. he was amazed that he could make someone so wet just by kissing them and was more than curious to see how soaked he could get you by the end of the morning.
he slowly dropped himself down to the edge of the bed, positioning himself between your thighs. kisses were placed to the soft flesh on your legs, pinching and nipping along the way, relishing in the squeals and moans you let out of your mouth. experimentally, he licked up your slit, watching how your breath hitched and your hands grasped the sheets below you, desperate to hold onto something. he licked again, this time using one of his hands to hold you down and the other to come and open you up. you responded immediately, back attempting to arch off the bed at the already intense situation.
he started up a steady pace, watching each little movement, breath, moan, grasp of the blanket to analyze what you liked best. he was enraptured with you, everything about you. you were so strong, fighting crime like it was nothing, doing anything you could to keep citizens safe and yet here you were, putty in his hands, baring your heart for him, trusting that he would take care of you.
the pressure inside of you slowly built up. it was like an intense heat you had never felt before, white hot and pulsing inside your abdomen. you clutched the sheets, your thighs, his hair, anything you could to purchase yourself to this earth as he brought you closer and closer to the promised land. finally, with one final lick, you came, crying out his name in a symphony of praises, singing to the high heavens.
he watched as you came done around his tongue, how your breath labored, eyes screwed shut, face flush and face twisted in pure pleasure. it was a magnificent sight to see, you so relaxed and carefree, enjoying every feeling that flooded over you.
when you had finally come down and your breathing began to even out, you opened your eyes to find Keigo still nestled between your thighs, head resting gently on you.
“how are you feeling love?” he asked, pressing a kiss to your hip.
“like i just left this world and came back,” you answered truthfully, laughing at his proud expression.
“are you okay? is there anything i can get for you?”
“no, Keigo, i think i’m okay,” you answered truthfully.
for the first time in a long time, you felt at ease. your body was relaxed, your mind foggy from the pleasure and you had the man you loved staring up at you like you were the only thing in this world that mattered.
“good, i’m glad you’re okay because we’re not done here. lay back down baby bird, let me make you feel good.”
563 notes · View notes
aminiatureworld · 3 years
Text
Affection II
Characters: Childe, Ganyu, Kaeya, gn!reader
Word Count: 5,577
Warnings: None
Premise: Sometime we know something is impossible from the start. But still we walk towards it, even if we know it will hurt us. It’s only flirting, only a smile or a hug or some food. Even if nothing comes of it, there is nothing to regret. Even if it hurts.
In which the reader gives affection, expecting nothing in return.
Author’s Note: Evidently I’ve really missed writing these properly. I had such a great time writing, and I hope you guys enjoy these just as much as I did.
Also I’ve decided the version on Ao3 will now always be without bullet points, so if you prefer that format the link will be in the reblog.
Childe
You’d been floored by Childe pretty much since the day you two had met.
What had turned into the two of you meeting had started out a most unfavorable encounter. You’d gone to Lingju Pass, trying to survey some of the carvings of the old structure, and attempting to see the sort of methods used to construct such vast rocky complexes at the time. Unfortunately this goal had quickly turned into a goal of “don’t get caught”, as you’d found the Pass crawling with Fatui members. Though you weren’t nearly helpless, you’d also not come prepared for battle; and had spent most of the “fight” dodging around various blows while trying not to drop the expensive equipment that you’d borrowed from other Guild members.
Just as you’d come to the conclusion that the options were either drop everything and run or get thoroughly injured by a bunch of arrogant Snezhnayan soldiers there was a change in the air. The Fatui soldiers’ expression turned from one of glee to one of confusion, and then one of panic, as one by one a streak of blue began to throw them this way and that. As you regained focus of the terrain your realized that it wasn’t a streak at all but a person, a person who was wildly adept at sword play. Eventually the number of unconscious people had risen to five, and there was no one left but him and you.
“Need any help?”
The words might’ve been kind, had it not been for the smirk on the man’s face. Though you felt that the right answers would’ve probably been to scowl, you found you couldn’t, too wrapped up in the memory of this mysterious person darting this way and that, handling his water-made daggers with the grace of a ballet dancer.
“I’m Childe.” These words finally brought you back to the present.
“You’re a member of the Fatui.”
“I am.”
“Then why did you knock those guys out just now?”
“Boredom.”
You stared at Childe incredulously. Of course you’d heard his name, the man who, it was whispered, almost pulled Liyue into the sea. You’d formed a sort of mental picture of him completely divorced from the redhead now standing in front of you, bouncing slightly on his feet as he smiled cockily. He looked more like a rogue adventurer than one of the heads of a crime syndicate. Maybe that was why you found yourself infatuated, rather than afraid.
This infatuation only grew, fed by the encounters that you had with Childe. It seemed now you couldn’t avoid him, not that you wanted to. What had begun as a chance encounter multiplied into two, into four; soon enough you two had struck up a sort of friendship, one that baffled everyone else around you.
Of course you hadn’t lost all your sense, knowing quite well that the puppy love you were feeling could never be anything more. The way Childe talked about his work, about his duty to the Tsaritsa, made it very clear that he wouldn’t let a partner in his life or in his loyalties. And even if he changed his mind, why would he choose you? You were an adventurer sure, but you hadn’t even been able to properly defend yourself the first time the two of you met, and your oversight of that would’ve surely turned Childe away. Besides, Childe could probably make a partner out of anyone he wanted, if they were foolish enough. Why should that person be you?
Perhaps it was that knowledge that allowed you to be so free in your affection, spurred on by Childe’s own open nature. Hand holding, hugging, leaning one’s head on the other’s shoulder, it was the language of friendship that you two had adopted, and something that you greatly appreciated. There was something nice about a friendship in which one could be so open about caring about someone, without expecting things to go farther. Because you didn’t, you really didn’t. And though that might’ve been a bit painful, it was a small price to pay for Childe’s company.
“I’m going off to Mondstadt for a bit.”
“What?”
You drew away from Childe a bit to look into his face. The two of you were walking along the path towards Yaoguang Shoal, as Childe had taken a particular liking to the Starconches that lined its shores. Now he smiled awkwardly, squeezing your hand and shrugging his shoulders.
“I know, I know. There’s apparently this branch of the Fatui holed up there right now, and I’ve been asked to consult about something, though archons know what it is.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“I’m not sure, I think about two weeks? I’m not sure what exactly is going on, but the troops really must be in disarray if they need me skulking around for the next two weeks.” He let out a awkward laugh.
“I’ll miss you.” You replied, bumping your head into his shoulder and frowning. “It’s very boring without you.”
“I’m sure you’ll be perfectly capable without me.” Childe smiled, one eyebrow raised slightly. “After all, what would you do if I left someday, permanently. You’d have to find a way without me.”
“Let’s not talk about that.” You replied hurriedly, switching the conversation towards something more pleasant. Unfortunately however the words had already been said, and the damage had already been done.
It had been two weeks since Childe had left for Mondstadt, and though normally you might’ve been waiting at the city gates for his return, you found yourself on the familiar road towards Lingju. Childe’s words had been ringing in your ears for the past two weeks, and you’d found the more time passed the more you kept thinking about them.
What would you do if I left someday, permanently. Is that what Childe truly wanted? To leave? The idea made your stomach hurt, as you began once more to run all your interactions through your head, as if trying to find a flaw in the strips of memory you had of Childe. Was that what Childe truly wanted, or was it simply that he was sick of you? When he’d said “you’d have to find a way without me” did that mean he wanted to find a way without you? Perhaps you’d been too forward, too demanding. Perhaps he’d managed to realize your feelings and felt repelled by them. Had it been too much, meeting him almost everyday for some periods of time, eating lunch together and sometimes dinner. What about that time you’d invited him over to your house to play a game? Had that been too much?
You sighed, dragging yourself over the final ridge. Sitting down to take a rest you closed you eyes. You hated that your mind wandered this way, that no matter what you couldn’t help but ask yourself again and again, what had you done. What would Childe think about this sad person laying on the ground, the sad part was you couldn’t answer that question.
The sound of footsteps brought you back to the present, and you let out a suppressed groan at the figures in your line of sight.
“Don’t you guys ever get posted anywhere else?” You rolled your eyes, reaching behind your back to summon your polearm.
“You’re trespassing.” The voice that came out of the Electro Vanguard was so deep and distorted as to be hilarious.
“Lastly I checked you were neither a citizen of Liyue, nor Rex Lapis, so if anyone’s “trespassing” on public territory it’s you.” You sighed. “Oh well. Unfortunately you caught me on a day where I’m somewhat prepared.” With that you lunged towards the Hydro Legionnaire and the fight began.
Fighting when one is already frustrated is both a blessing and a curse. The fight itself was almost invigorating, the first Fatui hit the ground and with it you felt part of your worries fade away, if only for the small window of time which this fight offered. Was this why Childe fought so much? The though crossed your mind as you whirled behind the Pyro Bracer and pressed as much Electro as you dared into the back of his head, tripping him with the staff of your polearm on his way down.
Soon enough there was only you and the Electro Vanguard left. Unfortunately you were beginning to feel the other side affect of anger, that being misfocus. Being more versed in using your polearm as a sort of lightning rod your found the Vanguard much harder to deal with, more than once barely diving out of the way of the hammer he was swinging around, surprisingly light on his feet considering what the weight must be. Your anger was quickly draining, turning into something more akin to panic, and as you found yourself stumbling more and more you realized that today was really, really not your day.
The Vanguard was becoming aware of how fast you were tiring, a gravelly sort of laugh emerging from behind his mask. As you found your with you back to the slope you wondered if it was just worth it to make an escape. The Fatui swung his hammer once more, barreling towards you. Having nothing left to do you put your polearm out in front of you, hoping that your arms were strong enough not to recoil against the inevitable blow. Closing your eyes you thought of nothing, drowning in a sea of panic. If there was any coherent part of your brain it wished that you weren’t here, that you just stayed home, or swallowed you pride and gone to the gate. But it was too late now, and you were about to get hit.
However the blow never landed, instead a loud sound pierced the air. Whipping your arms open you saw the Electro Vanguard stumble, his hammer having been dropped on the ground. He was grasping towards his ankle, in which was stuck an arrow, glowing a faint aquamarine. Swearing the Fatui member glanced around, before stumbling away, dragging his weapon and his left leg behind him like dead weight.
“Some things never change, huh?”
“Childe!” You whirled towards your once again savior, face burning from embarrassment. “I took out the rest of them this time.”
“I can see that,” said Childe, surveying the area, a telltale smirk on his face, “very impressive. Although, if I may suggest, next time try to take out the Electro Vanguard first, especially since you don’t wield a weapon made for pure damage.”
“Is this turning into a teaching moment?”
“Absolutely not.” Childe laughed.
You found the sound catching, and soon a smile spread across your face as you let your polearm disappear once more. You ran up to Childe, and were about to throw you arms around his neck in a characteristic hug, when the thoughts of before came ramming back into your brain. Taking a step back you planted your arms firmly in front of you, hoping that maybe Childe hadn’t noticed what you’d been about to do.
However Childe approached you instead.
“You weren’t at the gate today.” He said coyly, lips drifting somewhere between a smirk and a frown.
“I’m sorry.” You lowered your head. “I just thought, well maybe that would be better. Since you said you might be leaving permanently and all, and since you were right when you said I’d have to figure things out without you, I don’t know, I thought maybe it’d be for the best.”
Looking up the expression on Childe’s face could only be described as one of complete disbelief. For a moment he stayed frozen in place.
“What in Teyvat do you mean I’m leaving permanently?”
“You said that! Remember… when we were going to pick sea shells you said that you were leaving.” You stepped back, cheeks flushed. “Or maybe you were just sort of sick of me or something.”
“Why would you ever think that?” Childe walked up to you, enveloping one of the hands at your side in his own and bringing it up towards him.
“I… I don’t know,” you replied, feeling very confused and very foolish, “I thought maybe that I was being too affectionate, or too clingy. I mean I know you don’t like me or anything like that. And I thought maybe that I was crossing the boundaries of our friendship.”
“I don’t like you? I’ve liked you since almost the first day we’ve met!”
“Not like that! I mean, like like, you know? As in… well, as in I… I love you.” You let your voice peter out.
“I love you too!” Childe let out. Shaking his head he smiled widely. “That’s what I’m trying to say. I’ve liked you since almost the first time we’ve met. I wasn’t trying to shoo you away.”
“What?” Your brain was short circuiting. Something had gone terribly wrong. You’d definitely been knocked out at some point, and was now hallucinating. There was no way Childe liked you, loved you. He could love anyone, why would he love you.
Childe stepped closer, moving so that your foreheads were almost pressed together.
“May I?” He whispered, voice almost shy. You nodded, a just as small “yes” escaping your lips before Childe cut off your ability to say anything more. It was a short kiss, sweet and chaste, and yet you felt everything around you suddenly come into sharp, almost lucid clarity. You weren’t dreaming. This was happening. This was Childe and he liked you. Childe like you. He liked you, he really liked you.
“Why?” You let out, when the two of you separated. Thankfully Childe remained close to you, being without his presence now would’ve been quite lonely.
“Why what?”
“Why me? I’m not, I don’t know, I can’t even knock out an Electro Vanguard without help.”
Childe let out a laugh, lovely as music.
“I don’t know,” he replied, eyes sparkling, “because you’re you. And I like you.”
And all of a sudden you found that that was enough.
 Ganyu
The days that you accompanied Ganyu on her various errands were the ones in which you were most aware that you were on a level utterly below her.
Of course humans could never really measure up to adepti, after all they made the world and humans simply lived in it. Still in terms of humans, well you weren’t exactly pushing exceptional. If Ganyu represented all that was exceptional about the adepti, well then you represented the average human who didn’t like their job and overall went about their day as unnoticeable as an ant on the road.
Of course Ganyu never acted in a way that would betray the imbalance between the two of you. Indeed Ganyu was nothing if not kind, sweet, and utterly without a semblance of hierarchy. It was one of the things that you adored about her, the straightforward honesty she carried with her, and the way that she appeared not to judge living beings on a scale, even if that was the right of those who were higher and didn’t have to worry about said scale.
“Can you carry this for me?” Ganyu’s voice was soft and somewhat hesitant. You smiled widely, knowing that Ganyu simply had difficulty asking other people for help.
“Of course I can!” Scooping up the package that was stretched out towards you, you saw Ganyu let out a short sigh of relief.
“Thank you.”
“Of course! I’m always happy to help you. Where are we taking this?”
“Over to the funeral parlor. It seems that there are some tiles in here that are being used for a specific ritual. Hu Tao said that the family wanted it, I hope she doesn’t actually mean she pushed them towards it.” Ganyu let out a soft sigh. “She once suggested advertising for cremation. Somehow I feel that won’t exactly be welcomed by the people.”
“No one likes to be reminded of their own mortality. Ah, but Hu Tao is doing her best, and if these tiles end up being insulators, I suppose we can’t do much about it. I’ll make sure not to drop them anyways. Getting on Hu Tao’s bad side feels like asking for a prank.”
“You’re probably right.” Ganyu chuckled.
You blushed slightly, loving the way her laugh sounded, soft and open. You knew Ganyu struggled sometimes; she admitted to you herself that it was very difficult to live an existence defined by liminality. Was she an adeptus? Was she a human? She was neither, and yet both would claim her and call her other. In understanding this Ganyu had retreated into herself. Perhaps that’s why her laugh meant so much.
As you strolled down the docks an angry voice cut through the air.
“Qixing!”
Both of you turning around you saw Bolai, heaving slightly, teetering his way towards you. His face was stormy, and for a moment you wondered if someone had stolen something. His words when he caught up however revealed a very different motivation.
“I demand justice!”
“What for?” Ganyu asked, voice deadly serious once more.
“What for? For what Huixin said in regards to me! For the Liyue Qixing complying with disgusting rumors as to the ways in which I conduct my business and my finances. As to the way that you promised to help me then turned on me!”
“I see…” Ganyu sighed as you wracked your brain, trying to remember what she’d told you about the time that she and the traveler ran around trying to detangle various examples of tax fraud. “Have you considered putting up a formal complaint?” Ganyu meanwhile was still trying to keep professional, something that you admired her for.
“How am I supposed to trust the Qixing after what happened? No! I demand compensation now!”
“Sir, I’m sure you’re quite upset, but there’s no need to act in such a way. If you wish to clear your name, then we can meet in private and review the testimony and documents we received. If not, then I’m afraid there is nothing I can do for you. I’m very sorry.”
Ganyu turned back towards the direction in which you two had been previously walking. Evidently too agitated to think properly Bolai let out a strangled cry.
“We’re not finished yet!” Reaching out, he seemed to be attempting to turn Ganyu around by the shoulder. Having been standing there unthinking you now moved to block the action, knowing that Bolai didn’t really mean anything by it, but not trusting the man who looked like he was about to burst a blood vessel. Bolai’s hand instead smacked into the box in your hands, which slipped from your grip and fell to the floor in a great crash.
Time seemed to slow down somewhat after this, as Bolai stepped backwards and Ganyu turned around, face one of evident horror at the scene. You felt your face begin to burn as you looked at the unassuming box, which now looked a little bit the worse for wear.
“What…” Ganyu trailed off. Bolai waved his hands about in a panicked sort of way.
“That wasn’t me! That wasn’t my fault! It was this person they… I don’t know what they were thinking, getting in the way like that. How idiotic! This is nothing but a mess, a disgrace!”
Normally you wouldn’t pay Bolai’s words any mind, but now they seemed to pierce right through, as you realized all the trouble you’d just caused Ganyu. Glancing over towards her you found you could neither look her in the eyes nor stay where you were.
“I-I’m sorry!” You stammered. Moving to pick up the box you found your hand hesitating. Fearing that you’d just make things worse you pulled yourself and dashed in the opposite direction, speeding up the docks and towards the outskirts of the city.
Normally the view from Mount Tianheng was one that stole your breath away. Today however the mountain seemed completely uninteresting, especially when compared to the thoughts racing in your head.
How had you gotten here, how had you messed up so much? Ganyu didn’t need your posturing, your attempt to help. She was an adeptus for Morax’s sake! And who were you? Someone who couldn’t even carry a box from Point A to Point B. And now you’d just caused more trouble for Ganyu, when she already had so much to do.
“I’m such a failure.” You groaned into your palms.
“You aren’t!” You lifted your head at the soft exclamation, already knowing who the voice belonged to. Ganyu sidled up to the ledge of the mountain silently, fidgeting with her hands. “May I sit next to you?”
“Of course.” You replied, grateful that Ganyu was even talking to you. Smiling softly the Qixing Emissary let out a soft sigh.
“I love the view of the city from here.” She spoke softly, eyes on the horizon.
“I do too.”
“There’s something so lovely about watching everyone go about their day, isn’t there? To see the people work in harmony to bring prosperity and peace to the city of Liyue. To see how everyone continues on the legacy of Rex Lapis.”
“That’s a lot to see.” You joked, still feeling a little uncomfortable, as if Ganyu might in a minute get up and leave.
“But can’t you see it?” Ganyu’s voice was earnest and her eyes shined. “It’s wonderful how people do it, how they continue to make this city thrive, to keep the contracts of Morax alive and within living memory.”
“Perhaps it’s just harder for humans to judge it themselves?”
“Perhaps.” Ganyu’s expression shifted into something, almost shy, not quite melancholic. “Just like how you’re finding it difficult to forgive yourself.”
“I’m so sorry Ganyu. I don’t know what I was thinking! I just… I just, wasn’t thinking.”
“You were trying to be kind.” Ganyu replied, something almost akin to blush coating her cheeks. “And I have to thank you for that.”
“But I just caused more trouble…”
“You were trying to be kind,” Ganyu repeated, “like I said, you’re finding it difficult to forgive yourself. But you have to. You didn’t truly do anything that needs forgiveness.”
“But I was doing it for completely selfish reasons!” You blurted out, embarrassment and doubt turning into the words you never wanted to utter. “It’s because I like you, and not just because I was trying to be nice. But because, because maybe I wanted to do something for you, and then maybe I’d be good enough maybe.” Realizing how odd that just sounded you turned your head away. For a moment your words hung in the air, and the longer the silence continued the longer you thought about how utterly selfish you were.
“Thank you.” There was a smile in Ganyu’s voice, and as you turned your head once more you could see it plastered across her face.
“For what?”
“For telling me you like me.”
“But… but isn’t it just burdening you? After all I’m not good enough for you.”
“You are!” Ganyu’s voice was firm. “You’re absolutely good enough for me. And what you did, you call it selfishness, but I don’t understand that. Being kind to people you like isn’t selfish, even if you like them. Because this time you were genuinely helping me. Besides, if that’s selfish then I’ve also been terribly selfish.”
“How?”
“By asking you to accompany me everywhere. Because maybe, maybe I like you too.”
For a moment you wondered if you hadn’t accidentally slipped off the cliff, so weightless did you feel. A bit lightheaded you leaned forward.
“Really?”
“Yes.” Ganyu smiled nervously. Reaching out she took your hand in hers.
The two of you watched the sun set over the city of contracts mostly in silence. Every once in a while there would be a spurt of conversation, but mostly there was nothing but the sounds of the birds and the cicadas, and the pounding of two hearts, hearts both a bit ragged from the events of the day.
For what a day it had been. And how wonderfully it had ended.
 Kaeya
If you could use anything as justification for your crush on Kaeya, he did flirt with you. Unfortunately he also flirted with everyone else in Mondstadt.
“How’s my favorite knight of Favonius?” Kaeya’s cocky voice was clear as a bell, and for a moment your heart flipped as the handsome knight came into view, smile as lovely as it had been the day before.
“Blessed by the presence of our beloved cavalry captain.” You replied in a singsong voice.
The first time Kaeya had used that line on you it felt like your soul had left your body and your heart had run a marathon. Unfortunately you’d heard him use practically the same line on Rosaria the next day, his favorite mysterious nun, robbing you of your fantasy in which Kaeya had any interest for you.
Your banter however was not without genuine feeling. You were utterly infatuated with Kaeya, having fallen for the handsome knight about two weeks into your own training. Originally having been an adventurer you’d joined the knights relatively recently after a series of Abyss attacks on the City of Freedom. As such Kaeya had by then already occupied an exalted position among the ranks, and the hours of being trained, teased, and flirted at by the mysterious cavalry captain had been enough to throw you head over heels.
Not that you’d ever expect things to develop more than they already had. Having a crush on the flirtiest man in Mondstadt did mean that you were praised every once in a while, but it also meant that the praise meant little more than empty words, and that there was always someone else who had heard them. Not that you begrudged those people, not knowing them or not caring. It was Kaeya’s right to be as he was, flirty and irreverent; and you’d never ask him to change that part of himself, or any other.
To do so would be to change the person you’d grown to love.
You trotted up the steps of the Favonius headquarters, opening the door with a slight “oof” before stepping into the cool building. Today was going to be a quiet sort of day for the knights, and you’d been assigned to pick up a few books from Jean’s office to be recorded by Lisa before being sent off to the Church. Going to open the door you paused at the voices inside.
“– saying it’s nothing.”
“And I’m saying that it’s becoming a distraction. I don’t want to control your actions Kaeya, but this pining has been slowing down your work, and we need you as one of our most crucial members to be on top of things.”
“I’m not pining.”
“What do you mean you aren’t pining,” Jean let out a snort, “as if it’s not obvious to everyone around you. Look, I’m not saying you have to break things off –”
“Good, because they haven’t even begun.”
“Then maybe that’s part of your problem. Maybe if you told them you liked them then you’d be able to get back on track.”
“I’m doing my best.”
“You aren’t doing anything. And that’s the problem.”
You didn’t hear the rest of the conversation, having made your way over to the library as to make sure that you were get caught, and to cool your head in regards to what you’d just heard.
So Kaeya liked someone. You shouldn’t’ve really been surprised. Kaeya was a wonderful person; intelligent, good with a weapon, polite, handsome. What person wouldn’t fall in love with him? And when everyone’s in love with you, well, it was unsurprising that eventually Kaeya would find someone who he loved back just as much. Then, why did it hurt?
You fought the urge to wrack your brain for the people Kaeya spoke most about, finding the act beneath you. Still, your mind wandered. Perhaps it was Rosaria after all, or maybe it was only because you remembered her. Perhaps it was the sword smith who came twice monthly to check up on the weaponry. Or perhaps it was the tailor, who could sew anything with the utmost care. Or perhaps it was a musician, or an archivist, or another knight. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
Your head swam and you found your eyes stinging. Now wasn’t the time to cry, not when you needed to honor your appointment with Jean, not when you were somewhere where any one of your colleagues might discover you. Not where Kaeya might walk in any minute and realize what you’d done. This thought finally brought you out of the spiral of your mind. Making sure that any tears that might’ve escaped were wiped away you took a deep breath, steadying yourself before you walked out of the library and into Jean’s office.
Evidently you must’ve looked much worse than you thought, for Jean took one look at you and ordered you home, grumbling about how much trouble there had been recently. You thanked her half-heartedly before making your way out of the Headquarters, heart heavy as lead. At least work would’ve been a welcome distraction.
Arriving home you saw what Jean meant. Though you weren’t particularly teary, your face had taken on an ashen pallor that made it look like you’d either just gotten a shock, fainted, or had suddenly contracted consumption. Letting out a sigh you collapsed on the couch of your apartment. You knew you should probably do something, should eat or work on some extra work or something. But right now you didn’t want to do any of that. You just wanted to forget.
The knock that sounded at your door was extremely unwelcome, and you bit back bitter words as you made your way over to the door. Any protest however was silenced at the sight of Kaeya, hair slightly tussled, expression opaque, on your doorstep.
“Kaeya.” You meant to sound more peppy, but the action felt too tiring. “What’re you doing here?”
“Making sure that you’re alright. Jean told me that you looked unwell, and we can’t have our best knight getting sick, now can we?”
“I’m fine. Just a little tired.”
You went to turn around, when Kaeya reached over and place his hand on your forehead. Freezing you let out a sound somewhere between a strangled cry and a shriek. Kaeya didn’t react to this however, or the red quickly spreading across the bridge of your nose. Instead he let out a sigh, before smiling, something which also caused your heart to seize up.
“Not running a fever. I’m glad. Do you know what’s wrong by any chance?”
“Yes. No! I mean, I think, I, I just need rest.”
“You can tell me if something’s wrong. I might not be able to help, but I can try. Consider it the duty of the Cavalry Captain. Have to keep up appearances, even among the ranks.”
“Really Kaeya, I’m fine.”
“You don’t seem fine.” Kaeya’s eye seemed to pierce through your soul. “You seem… upset, exhausted. Please, let me help.”
“I can’t…” Your voice cracked and you turned your head away, mortified by your inability to control yourself.
“What do you mean you can’t?” Kaeya’s voice was filled with sudden worry. “Is someone doing something to you?”
“No! No one is. I just can’t because, because it’d be selfish.”
“What do you mean?” Kaeya’s tone had become utterly perplexed, and for a moment you felt the crazy urge to laugh. As if it wasn’t painfully obvious why you couldn’t. This was so tiring. You were so tired.
“Because it’s not fair of me to take away your happiness just because of my own feelings.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I heard you talking to Jean,” you explain, face burning, “she said that you liked someone. Or maybe you did, I don’t remember. Anyways you like someone and it’s not fair of that to hurt me, I have no right to your feelings. But, but it hurts, it really, really hurts.”
The silence when you finished was miserable. You weren’t even looking up at Kaeya, not wanting to see the destruction of a friendship you valued so much.
“Have you considered that the person I’m so infatuated with might be you?”
When you looked up you caught a wave of emotions, similar in strength to the ones currently going through you, plastered over Kaeya’s face. Happiness, sadness, regret, relief; all these things danced in his eyes. In that moment you loved him even more for it, for knowing that he understood, and that he too couldn’t hide the affects of having someone you loved so close and yet so far.
Saying nothing you walked over and slowly stretched your hand out. Kaeya took the hand in his, and you reveled in the small intimacy, in his calloused fingers enveloping yours.
“I’m not good enough.” You pointed out, voice soft.
“You aren’t the one who decides who I love.” Kaeya replied, voice firm. “To me there is no one else worthy in the world. Only you. And I hope that I can be the same for you, that I can be worthy.”
“Yes. Oh yes.”
For Kaeya was more than simply worthy. He was the one you loved the most, as well as the one who’d now made you the happiest person you could ever dream of.
269 notes · View notes
wannabemobwife · 3 years
Text
I miss her too
Pairings: Dad!Tom Holland x reader
Summary: Your and Tom’s daughter comes home having made something at school, for you. She desires to share it with you any way possible.
Warnings: sad, typos, mentions of death
Word Count: 1.3K
A/n: I’m back. Hoping to start part 2 to Guns, Glamour and Goodfellas. This a short blurb or possible one shot, whatever you call it. Still new to this. Wrote this spur the moment. Flashbacks are in bold.
Tom made it a priority to have dinner every night with his daughter, Poppy. It was a tradition that you reinforced. One that Tom liked to keep around even after. You would cook all these elaborate meals And Tom tries to live up to your cooking skills but would ultimately fail and seek the help of Sam.
Tom set the table and served Poppy as she sat at table, swinging her legs back and forth. There, sat the 5 year old girl, across from Tom. He watched her as she fiddled with her fork, just rearranging the veggies on her plate, not bothering to eat.
“So love, how was daycare?” Tom inquired curbing as he watched his daughter fiddle with her fork, just rearranging the veggies on her plate, not bothering to eat.
“We made cards for mumma’s day,” Poppy explained all giddy inside.
“Mother’s day?” Tom asked, his mind drifting elsewhere. He couldn’t believe it was already May and it was the first one without you.
“Yes, mine has pretty flowers on it. Wanna see it?” Poppy grew excited she practically jumped out of her chair.
“Sure baby doll, you can show me after dinner,” Tom murmured, still caught up on the fact that it was almost 5 months since.
“I’ll go get it!”
“Poppy wait, wash your hands first, please.” Tom called out but knew Poppy would carry on just like before. That girl marched to the beat of her own drum but Tom indulged in every beat. She is the spitting image of you.
“Here, look I wrote something.” She said holding the card up in front of him. It was adorned with glitter and stickers. Pink construction paper, pink flowers and pink doodles. Pink was Poppy’s favorite color, everything was pink from her shoes to her hair bows.
“C’mere lovie, show me,” Tom whispered, pulling her into her lap. “Darling this is so beautiful. What did you write?”
“It says, happy mumma’s day mumma. I love you soooooo much. I miss you too, so does dadda. We miss you.” She said with her faint lisp.
Tom listened to his daughter struggle to get the words out. Focusing on her breathing as she sounded out most words. He tried to only focus on that. Not letting his mind to stray to place he has been avoiding for a few months.
Next week marks the time stamp of living 5 months without you. Without your smile in the morning. Without your laugh that was so infectious at the time it would make your newborn giggle til she was burdened with a case of the hiccups. Without your love.
Life grew darker and sadder, but Tom didn’t give himself the chance to grieve. Too busy worrying about the life you both brought into the world. The girl that lite up his life was his only priority. Everything changed when his beautiful and amazing family of three became a two.
Tom now rarely took jobs outside of London, wanting to stay close for Poppy. He felt guilty always leaving her with his parents all the time. No one really knows how kids at the age process a loss but he hoped Poppy would remember all the amazing moments of you.
Ones that held a special place in his heart were right after the sun had risen. Poppy’s wake up calls.
She did the same thing since he can remember. Always busting through the door in the morning. Jumping on t bed then begging for food. It was good thing you were a morning person.
One time when you were weaker than you had ever been, she jumped right on top of you.
“Mumma! Dadda! Wake up!” You were jolted out of sleep from a shock that rang through your fragile frame. You gasped at the sudden body slammed on top of yours.
“Poppy Marie Holland! What did we talk about being careful with mommy? Honey are you okay?” Tom shouted quietly.
“I’m ok, Tom. I really am,” you said breathlessly.
“I’m sorry Mumma, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Poppy whispered.
“It’s ok baby, c’mere. So what did you dream about my flower,” you said, pulling her into your lap as you peppered kisses all over her face. Giggles erupted as you pressed a finger to her nose.
“Well I dreamt of…” Poppy would trail off to these fantastical dreams. It amazes you how she could think such imaginative scenes.
Every morning was like that. Different topics of conversation but always began with a dose of Poppy bright and early.
Even after everything. It was a grad adjust for her. One minute you were there and next you weren’t.
Tom’s nightly routine shifted. Every night he would go to sleep dreaming of you. Dreaming of the life you were supposed to share. And every morning he would wake up with tears in his eyes as he felt the empty side of the bed.
Desperately trying to bring himself back to the place with you in it. It was a gut punch every morning, always coming to the realization that you were gone.
However, like clockwork he is reminded of the one shining star in his life as she bursts into his room and hops on the bed. Jumping up and down to get him to wake up.
“Dadda, wake up. Wake up!” Poppy shouted as she waddled up to the bed, trying to climb on. Her nightgown was a little too big, but she wore it because you had.
“Daddy’s awake lovie. Just one second.” Tom jolted, brushing the wetness from his eyes.
“Come on, I want pancakes,” Poppy pleaded.
“Pancakes huh? Mommy’s specialty with Mnm’s inside?” Tom reminisced at all the mornings of breakfast together as a full family.
“Ya, can momma make them?” Poppy asked, it was hard for her to understand the events that just occurred. Tom wasn’t very good at explaining it either. The most he could muster up, is mommy’s not here anymore.
Leaving out the word “dead” or “passed away” was denying the truth from him as well. It was all too new and he didn’t know how he could accept it just yet.
“Lovie, we have talked about this remember? Mommy is not here anymore.”
“When will she be back? I miss her.”
“Umm, darling mommy is never coming back, remember baby. I told you mommy had to leave but wasn’t her choice. Lovie, I miss her too everyday,” Tom said, holding back tears.
“Dadda?” Spoke Poppy as she noticed the wet streaks across Tom’s face. Trying to bring attention back to her.
“Yes, baby.” Tom said, coming out of his trance. Tears riddled his face as he thought of all the stuff that Poppy will miss out on. More specially what you will never get to experience with her.
“Why are you sad Dadda? Did I make you sad?” Poppy asked, trying to comfort Tom the best way she knows how.
“Oh no darling. Not at all.”
“Are you sad because you miss mumma?” Poppy mumbled, her eyes getting stuck to the ground.
Tom just nodded and pressing soft kisses to her forehead. He could only hold back so many tears.
“I miss her too. You never go to the place anymore where you talk to her. I want to talk to her like you do,” Poppy pleaded.
“Lovie what place?”
“The one with the statues. You never take me anymore. We only went twice with nana. But no more,” Poppy said as she started to cry along with him.
“The cemetery?” Tom asked.
She nodded, sniffing away the tears. “Mumma misses us like we miss her. I don’t want her to think we forgot about her. I made the card because. I want to give her my card. Can we go?”
“Yes baby, I’ll take you. I promise you, you’ll never forget her. I even have videos I can show you later with her in them,” Tom explained.
“Dadda I love you,” Poppy said wrapping her hand around his neck.
“I love you too, my flower.”
Masterlist
A/n: sorry the ending sucked, endings are hard
165 notes · View notes
infernal-fire · 3 years
Note
I love your dark Jake Jensen and I have a request for him, so the team gets in contact with reader for supplies for a mission an Jensen feels a spark between them so he makes every excuse to talk to reader to the point the team teased but helps him out with his grand scheme to get with reader but they don't know how far he'd go to make reader his ☺️💕 thanks
I love a good dark!jake fic!! I have changed the specifics a litttllle bit so i hope this is alright :)
Warnings: implied noncon/dubcon, some creepy behaviour, mention of stalking, drugging, mention of breeding kink
Summary: 5 days; that’s how long it takes him to become fixated on you.
Wc: 2k 
You’re My Delusion
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They could have gone to any supplier. Fate would have it that Aisha wanted you, and only you. 
The melodious tune of a piano ringtone chimed in your bag. You ask the other daycare teacher to take over for you and picked up the phone: Unknown Number. You watched the phone ring until the line went dead and resumed your day. 
It may have been an ‘unknown number’, but your subconscious unequivocally knew who it was. Grumbling at the thought of being contacted again, you twisted the handle to your condo. Of course, you didn’t bat an eye when there was an envelope on your countertop, one that you didn’t put there; Aisha knew that you knew the phone would ring again, and if you didn’t answer, she would pay you a visit.
When Unknown Number flashed across your screen for the second time that day, you considered letting it go to voicemail again, but picked up anyway. 
“Aisha.”
“Y/N.”
“If you’re gonna ask me for an assist-”
Aisha cut you off. “I know you don’t do missions anymore. We need a safe house that’s off the books.”
“Who’s we?”
“They’re all men.” As if on cue, you heard someone guffaw in the background. “It’s making me lose my goddamn mind,” she elucidated. 
“You know I don’t really do this stuff anymore,” you huffed, “But I’m making an exception this one time. For you.” You could hear Aisha let out a squeal of happiness, and realized how bad it must be if she uncharacteristically showed excitement.
//
While cleaning up your old warehouse-turned-safehouse, Aisha’s words echoed in the back of your head. “Some of them are a little... bulky. Let them sleep on the floor.” You tried to protest, asking her, what’s the point of a safehouse if they aren’t resting well, but she dismissed the question. “Trust me. They’re nothing more than cavemen.”
It was 4 AM; foot tapping impatiently and sipping on the third coffee of the night, you smacked your forehead in frustration. It was way past bedtime. After living alongside Aisha for years, anyone would appreciate nights that consist of 8 hours of sleep. 
You could certainly appreciate it. Being a daycare teacher, living in a civilian condominium and not engaging in government work was something you couldn’t take for granted. Not after all the shit you’ve seen. 
3 brusque knocks sounded on the metal door to your right. Your head snapped to the source, waiting for Aisha to call out the code word. 
“LOSERS!” a voice hollered from the other side. You trudged to the door, trying to shake off the dizziness that came with standing up too fast. 
Opening the door with caution, you had only blinked a few times before a body pulled you into a tight embrace.
“You’re never this excited to see me. That bad, huh,” you sneered. 
“You have no idea.” Aisha pulled out of the hug and turned to face the men who had lined up nearby. 
“So… who’s this?” The guy with dirty blonde hair, nerd glasses and a horrible sense of fashion piped up. His whole appearance was an oxymoron to his build - muscles protruded out of the bright pink shirt that hugged him like a second skin. On the other hand, you couldn’t imagine him as anything more than a harmless golden retriever.
“Don’t ask as if you don’t know Jensen,” Aisha groused. You could practically hear her roll her eyes. 
“What’s your name, darling?” another guy spoke. He exuded the energy of a leader; you looked him straight in the eyes and gave him your name. 
The golden retriever repeated your name as if to try out the taste of it on his tongue. You gave him a lopsided, close-mouthed smile and asked Aisha for her teammates’ names. 
“You don’t need to learn their names.” She stalked off, unwilling to be a part of the conversation any longer. 
The guy you had assumed was the leader sighed at her attitude before introducing himself as ‘Clay’. He pointed at each person and gave you their titles. 
“Okay so you’re Clay, that’s Cougar, Roque,” you skipped over Jake, “and Pooch.” 
“Me?” Jake softly inquired.
The rest of the team began picking up their things and walking away, but not before Pooch nudged Jensen with his shoulder and winked. The puppy-like man flushed in response and rubbed the nape of his neck.
“What about you?” you asked once you were alone. 
“You didn’t say my name.” 
“I know it’s Jake… but can I call you ‘daddy’ instead?” 
He froze up, looking at you like a deer caught in headlights. 
“Relax Jakey,” you put a hand on his chest, “I’m only teasing.” You winked and strutted away, snickering to yourself at how he looked like he was about to pass out.
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The entire team was trying to egg you and Jensen on. Well, not the entire team. 
Aisha and Roque couldn’t care less, and Cougar did nothing more than smirk at your playful banter. 
Often, Jensen would start a conversation that would escalate quickly, your witty dialogue interrupting his rationale. You thought it was adorable how he didn’t know how to respond; a guy like him could have fantastic game, but he was too much of a sweetheart, not the mention, way too awkward. 
One particular night, you let down your guard, just enough to actually get to know him. 
“You seem like a really supportive uncle,” you commented at his excitement for his niece’s next soccer game. 
“Oh, it’s nothing. I wish my parents would have done this for me.”
“Done what?”
“You know… Tell me they’re proud of me.”
“Well Jake... I think you should know, that I’m proud of you for everything you’re doing for the country.”
Jake looked up at you, sporting the signature look of the uncertainty of how to respond. It didn’t take a genius to be able to tell that he wasn’t used to being praised. 
“Thank you. That means a lot more than you know,” he quietly responded. 
The rest of the night was spent in a solemn, yet understanding silence, one that both of you were oddly comfortable with. 
Unfortunately, that would also be the last time you saw him. 
Or so you think. 
The mission went sour, and for the first time since retirement, you wished you had assisted. Maybe if you assisted, the mission wouldn’t have gone south. Maybe if you assisted... you would have been able to say goodbye. 
Without even realizing it, Jake had burrowed a little hole into your heart. You hoped life could go on with the little leak in your pump. Regardless, there is no time for sulking; after all, no amount of reminiscing would change the way things happened.
It had been months after Aisha and the team went back into hiding but you were faring well. Life as you knew it had continued without a trace of the burly, soft man-baby. You almost forgot about the ordeal, up until that day. Perhaps it was fate that had you switch the TV on at that time. You would never know.
A team of rogue CIA agents, presumed to be dead, have now infiltrated a crime branch operating within the US government. They have been pardoned from their status as “Enemies of State” but can no longer work for the CIA taskforce, as their identities have been indefinitely compromised. 
You blinked at the screen, watching Aisha’s name and picture appear. Subsequently, there was Clay, Pooch, Jensen, Cougar and Roque. You were happy for them.
Pooch could go back home to his wife. It was hard to imagine what it must have been like for the missus; pregnant and alone. Though you didn’t know Pooch that well, you knew he was a good partner and husband. 
Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of your front door shutting and clicking in place. Your hand frantically pressed the ‘volume up’ button on the TV as you hurled for the handgun under your pillow. 
Sliding to the wall beside the door, you cautiously peered into the dark hallway and made out a large figure. You huffed quietly before appearing in the doorframe with your gun pointing straight at the mystery guy. At this point, you had a good idea of who it was, but you wanted to mess with him anyway. “Hands up, and not another step forward.” 
He tried to speak, but you cut him off. 
“Don’t. speak,” you punctuated each word. Reaching for the light switch, you flipped on the hallway light. The dim light revealed your golden retriever standing there with his eyes wide open in fear. 
“Don’t shoot?” he said, like a question. 
You grinned and tucked the gun into your waistband.
“What are you doing here?”
“Thought I should come see you.” 
“You could have knocked, like a normal person.”
He shrugged sheepishly. 
“How do you know where I live?” you questioned. To that, he fiddled with his fingers and looked down. 
“Only Aisha knows this place. And I know she would have never told you.” You intently stared at him while leaning into the nearest wall and folding your arms.
Jake didn’t want to tell you that he had been stalking you. Every spare moment he had during the remainder of the mission was spent tracking you. After a few weeks, it felt as though you had moved on. It pained him, to say the least.
“I- uhm,” he looked up at you and took a step forward, “Hey, I just-...” He stopped when you reached for your handgun again, now wary of his intentions.
He put his hands back up. 
“I wanted to ask you out properly.”
“What do you mean ‘properly’? We were never going out, to begin with.”
Before you understood the spur of movement, Jake lunged for you and plucked the handgun out of your pyjama’s waistband, throwing it over the railing of your staircase. You tried to kick him, but he pricked you without giving you a moment to react. 
“What did you give me?” You clutched your neck in the spot he sunk the needle. 
“I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to do that,” he exhaled. He tried to hold you, but you weakly pushed him off, still trying to recover from the shock of his betrayal. 
“Takes 5 minutes to really work,” he scratched his neck. 
Then there was the fight. You gave it your all but with no weapon or leverage, you were going up against 200 pounds of pure muscle who was hell-bent on restraining you for some reason. 
2 minutes into the fight, you began to really feel the effects of whatever he gave you. He point-blank caught a punch that you tried to drill into his sternum. You look up at him incredulously, unable to still believe that he was trying to take you down right now. 
At last, he snapped. 
“Listen to me,” he grasped both your hands.
You momentarily struggled, but your shoulders slumped and you gave up on trying to free your wrists. 
“How could you move on without me?” he asked, attempting to look you in your eyes. You wouldn’t meet them. 
“Jake, you are delusional! I barely had a crush on you for 5 days,” you cried, letting the wetness spread over your cheeks freely. At this point, it was clear, what he was here for. 
“You should know, those 5 days were some of the best in my 29 years of living. I want that for the rest of my life.”
“Why couldn’t you have done this like a normal person?” You finally met his eyes with an excess of tears blurring your vision. 
“You keep saying that,” he began, letting go of your arms and wiping your tears, “but you know that you and I are not normal.” Jake leaned down to kiss your forehead. 
Your legs were beginning to buckle, but Jake caught you, throwing you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He strode into your bedroom as if he had been there a thousand times, put you down on the bed gently, and brushed the hair out of your face. 
Here we have Sergeant Linwood ‘Pooch’ and his wife reuniting. It is the first time he has seen her since his last mission, before disappearing. It is also the first time he will be seeing his child. Definitely, an emotion reun-
Your captor turned off the TV and turned to smile at you.
“Wouldn’t that be nice?” he asked, but seemed as if he were talking to himself. 
You couldn’t respond, all your muscles now refusing to attend to your demands. Instead, more tears streaked down your face. 
“A baby,” he whispered, “Yes, that would be nice.”
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Masterlist
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seraphdreams · 4 years
Text
could i request a domushijimaxfemsubreader 🥺 with y/n being the manager for the boys volleyball team and ushijima being the guy she pines over. (all 18+) he gets irritated at all her advances and teasing and decides to give her one night of pleasure. he’s rough and degrading and has a size kink. thank you!!!
oooohh this sounds rlly good😌 i’m definitely gonna enjoy making this
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Brute Force
warnings : smut, hard dom ushijima, size kink, dacryphilia, fuckin’ in da gym, and degradation.
wc - 1.3k
summary : If there was one person you couldn’t wait to get your hands on, it was Ushijima. I mean, he’s tall, built and handsome, what’s not to like? You’d always get distracted watching him prance around on the court, hitting the spikes so hard, it almost feels like he’s hitting you. That was just one of the many perks of being the volleyball teams’ manager.
“Hey! Y/N, are you paying attention?” The coach asked. Little did he know, you were thinking about all the things Wakatoshi could do to you, all the positions he could have you in and the way you’d moan. You were supposed to be taking notes on the practice game in front of you. To be frank, there was nothing really too interesting about this game, just the same old classic game of volleyball. But somehow every time Ushijima did something, it stood out like a diamond in the rough
The game was finally wrapped up and everyone was headed to their dorms. Except you. You were still cleaning up the gym, sweeping and mopping where you saw fit. It wasn’t until a familiar voice, you knew you weren’t alone. “When are you leaving?” the gruff voice asked. You turned around and to your surprise, it was the man you’ve been pining over, Ushijima Wakatoshi. You looked up at him, watching as his eyes zeroed in on the broom you were holding. “When i finish, why?” You say, a teasing glint in your voice. Ushijima’s gave turns from confusion to annoyance. Why were you being so playful, now of all times. “Thank you for cleaning up” He says with a monotonous tone. “Anything else i can do?” You asked. Before he could answer the question, the broom slipped out of your grasp and knocked to the floor. This moment here was your opening, your chance to get Ushiwaka to finally notice you for all your glory.
You bend down, squeezing your thighs together as you picked up the broom. You knew for sure Ushijima was looking. “i’m sorry, what did you say?” You ask him. He lets out an angry huff. At this point he knew what you were doing but he loved to see your short and small stature try and rile him up. “Actually, there is something you can do” He answers, almost groaning at the way you look up at him. He leads you to the storage closet in the corner of the spacious gym. Inside were cabinets and dusty shelves.
Once the two of you fully entered the room, he shuts the door, only a strain of light through the vents seeping out He backed you into a cold. empty wall. A loud slam was heard as he rested his huge calloused hands next to either side of your head. “i know what you’re trying to do” he grunts, looking down at your little, breakable frame. You gulp loudly, trying to avoid the conversation. “What wrong, are you too scared to act like a slut now?” You tremble under the large man, looking anywhere but where the visible bulge in his volleyball shorts were. “If you wanted me, you should’ve asked, instead of giving me a show” He continued, lifting off of the wall. He motioned down to his clothed cock. “Get on your knees and please me, whore.” With a swift response, you placed yourself on your knees right in front of Wakatoshi’s hard on. You pulled down the elastic band of his shorts, letting his dick swing free.
You wrapped your tiny hand around his huge, thick length and took him into your mouth. He was so big that your jaw almost immediately locked. The constant bobbing of your head on his cock was enough to make him groan. You moaned in response before reaching your hand down your panties to play with your clit. The sensation caused you to moan onto his dick. The vibration made Wakatoshi shiver. He grabbed a fistful of your hair and started thrusting down your throat. The tugging and forcefulness of his actions brought tears to your eyes. You couldn’t even reach your own high because of the aggression. You tried to cry out, to let him know to be gentle but he was too determined on coating his cum in your pretty warm mouth. He grunted as he held your face up while ramming into your mouth, the pretty streams of tears spurring him on even more. You felt him twitch in your mouth, prepared for what was about to happen. His thrusts got slower and sloppier, finally reaching the climax of his high. “Fuck..” He groaned, spilling his hot seed into your mouth.
You swallowed all you could, hiccuping for air and wiping tears from your eyes and cheeks. Before you knew it, you were manhandled against a bench. You winced at the sudden movement. You saw Ushijima pull out a condom from his bag then stand over your doubled in form. You were just so small, he knew he’d have his fun with you. He crawled over you and pulled your skirt and panties down, leaving you in the tight track jacket embroidered with the words “Shiratorizawa University”. He traced a finger along your wet slit, collecting all the slick you produced. Wakatoshi pushes a finger in then right back out, leaving you clenching at nothing.
He aligned his thick cock with your tight little hole. A look of discernment was easily read on his face. “I want you to beg for me, slut”. You gulped as embarrassment flooded your body. “Do i-have to?” You keenly ask. He sits back, gazing at your pathetic form. “You must not want me enough, i guess i’ll leave.” Your heart sinks at the thought of the only man you want inside you, leaving. You shake your head rapidly. Just before he got a chance to say anything else to you, you started to whine. “Please fuck me, Wakatoshi. Want you inside me. Please”
Yet again, he aligned himself with your sopping cunt and pushed in hard, no regard for making you adjust onto him. The fast, violent thrusts of him were all you could think of. You felt your mind and vision go hazy. Moans escaped your mouth as you wrapped your legs around his waist. He hit deeper. right into that sweet spot causing you to cry out a loud, “Wakatoshi!”
Each thrust was matched with a deep grunt from him. “You want to be my cumslut, don’t you.” He growled. You couldn’t even make out the words to respond to him, only babbling little words like “please, fuck, and yes.” Oh, how cute you were under him shaking and trembling like a scared animal. Sounds of skin slapping and moans filled the small storage closet. His calloused hand wrapped around the expanse of your throat and squeezed tightly. You tried to shift under his weight but it was no use, his strong grip like a 200lb dumbbell. You drooled, cried and hiccuped as he kept hitting into you relentlessly. The pleasure made you feel as though you were almost about to black out. With his free hand, he reached down to play with your throbbing, puffy clit. “Need you to cum first, fuck” He groaned. You try and mewl out moans but if felt like your throat was closed, allowing no sound to come out. You bucked upwards matching his thrusts as you began to chase your high. Your thighs shaked as he kept pounding into your drooling cunt. A few more sloppy drags of his cock against your walls and you came, creaming all over his thick, tan length.
He pulled out and pumped himself a few more times before spraying the insides of your thighs with an abundant amount of his cum. You panted, watching him grab the towel from his bag to clean you up. Your cheeks were hot and eyes lidded with heavy lust. “Want me to walk you to the dorms?” He asked nonchalantly while wiping you up . You placed a hand over your forehead, letting out a deep sigh. “Can we just sit here for a while, please”
“Of course” Ushijima responded, a slight smile forming at the corners of his lips.
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helnjk · 4 years
Text
All I’ve Ever Known - G.W.
George Weasley x fem!reader
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last of my oneshots for my showtunes fic list, based on the song All I’ve Ever Known from the musical Hadestown! i’ve had so much fun with this series of fics, i hope you guys have enjoyed reading them xx 
Word Count: 2.8k 
Summary: george finds her extremely intriguing, the way she spends her days drawing and creating art. maybe one day he’ll pluck up the courage to talk to her. 
Warnings: mentions of food, mentions of bullying/exclusivity, stereotypical slytherin biases
lyrics are bold and italicized 
I was alone so long 
I didn’t even know that I was lonely
Y/N sat by herself at the end of the Slytherin table, pushing what was left of her meal around her plate. She could hear the different conversations flowing around her, the ones including her fellow housemates moreso, but as usual she wasn’t involved in any of them.
She could hear Malfoy sneering to his little crew about something or other that Potter did to irritate him that day. She could hear Adrian Pucey discussing the latest Quidditch plays they had used at training that day. She could hear a couple of first years anxiously discussing the topic of their exams the next day. 
All around her were signs of companionship and community, yet she was left utterly alone. She wasn’t stupid. She knew why she had been outcasted from her house the moment she got sorted. 
“Isn’t she muggleborn?” 
“What a disgrace to Slytherin.”
“The Sorting Hat’s made a mistake with that one.” 
Over the years, she had gotten used to how those in her house treated her–holding her at arm’s length. She had spent many nights in her first year crying herself to sleep because of how all-consuming the loneliness had been, but now at her seventh year, she was numb to it all. 
She knew who she was: A talented muggleborn witch and a proud Slytherin. She didn’t need validation from anyone else. And anyways, most of her time was spent out on the grounds with her sketchpad or in the Room of Requirement painting. 
Loud laughs from the Gryffindor table spurred her out of her thoughts. The Weasley twins had pranked their younger brother, and it seemed like their younger sister was an accomplice to the crime as well. The rest of the red and gold house was watching on amusedly, no doubt accustomed to similar situations. 
The Weasleys were a well known family at Hogwarts. How could they not be? With their fiery red hair and their big personalities, it was a given that they caught the attention of almost every student. 
Y/N admired how they just fit right in with their house, their second family. Of course, a lot of it had to do with the fact that they were so comfortable with the Hat’s placement. Their whole family was sorted into Gryffindor, she could remember, albeit slightly foggily, the older Weasley siblings in leadership roles when she was younger. 
Her eyes lingered on George’s laughing figure for a second longer than the rest of them. She was always intrigued by the younger twin. They seldom had classes together, but from what she could gather, he was just as observant and perceptive as he was mischievous and quick witted.  
As bodies began to take their leave from the Great Hall, a rough shove to the shoulder nearly made Y/N fall onto the floor. Her eyes snapped up to the offender and she saw the unbecoming sneer of Malfoy. Crabbe and Goyle were snickering not so quietly behind him as he stared down at her. 
“Whoops,” he jeered, “Sorry to disrupt your staring at the blood traitors and gryffindorks. Maybe you’d be better off with the lot of them.” 
With a huff, Y/N gathered her things and strode out of the hall without so much as a second look behind her.  
It's like I’d known you all along
I knew you before we met
And I don’t even know you yet
All I know is you're someone I have always known
She was drawing again, George noted.
It always baffled him how she was always alone. Usually students at Hogwarts drifted about their days in groups or pairs; it was rare to see someone spend most of their time by themselves. Growing up with 6 siblings, and having a twin, George was so used to the chaos and noise that came with it that he couldn’t picture what it was like to go about your day solo.  
His eyes drifted towards her figure sitting on a blanket out in the grounds. She was blissfully unaware of her surroundings, or more to the point, the person staring at her like a bloody idiot. The weather was slowly transitioning from autumn into winter, and he could tell that she was trying to milk the last few warm days. 
It was no secret to him that she preferred to sketch out in the sunny grounds, but Hogwarts being situated in the Scottish countryside made it so that her window of opportunity to do so was limited.
He was so focused on how her brows furrowed in concentration and how her lips pursed ever so slightly when she made a mistake, that he didn’t notice Fred’s many deep sighs. This caused his twin to take one final deep breath and exhale as loudly as possible. 
“What’s got your wand in a knot then?” George asked, taking his eyes off of Y/N and turning to face his brother. 
“Finally noticed that I exist, have you?” teased Fred. 
“Oi, just get on with whatever you want to say!” 
He merely laughed, “If you want to talk to the snake, just do it!” 
George had the audacity to act as if he didn’t know what Fred meant, “What in Merlin’s name are you on about?” 
“Don’t be daft,” Fred smacked him lightly on the back of the head, “You’ve been pining after that Slytherin bird for months, just go and talk to her already!”
“Was I that obvious?” 
With a frustrated groan, Fred shoved his twin in the direction of the girl. George stumbled for a second and checked to see if she had seen, she hadn’t. He sent a glare at the redhead over his shoulder, before dusting off his trousers and donning a confident facade. 
As he strode across the courtyard, his hands grew increasingly clammy and his heart began to beat erratically in his chest. There was no turning back now, though, as he approached the girl. 
His shadow blocked the sun from Y/N’s notebook and she looked up, not expecting anyone to get so close to her. 
“Erm, hello,” George waved awkwardly as he towered over her figure.
She blinked a few times before replying, “Hello. Can I help you with something?” 
“Mind if I join you?” 
George’s question rang through the still air for a moment as Y/N processed what he had just asked. No one had ever wanted to keep her company as she drew before, she wasn’t quite sure how to react. Just before the moment turned even more awkward than it already was, she gave him a swift nod. 
The tall, lanky redhead folded his legs beneath him as he made himself comfortable on the path of grass next to her. He had to stop himself from grinning too wide, “I’ve seen you around, you know.” 
She merely raised a confused eyebrow in his direction. 
“Not-not like I’ve been stalking you!” he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck and feeling his ears turn hot, “I’ve just noticed you like to draw out here, especially when the weather’s warm.” 
“Oh,” she mumbled, brushing her hair behind her ear. 
“I’m sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?” 
George’s gaze on hers was so sincere, she kicked herself internally for not saying the right thing to him, “No you’re not! Don’t worry. I’m just not used to people paying much attention to what I do. I mean, I’m not that interesting.” 
She felt small under his analytic gaze, but something in her kept her from looking away. 
“Well I think you’re plenty interesting from what I’ve seen,” He shrugged nonchalantly, “Tell me about your drawings!” 
He had said the magic words and the pair of them dove into a conversation. Y/N couldn’t contain her excitement, as she rarely had the opportunity to speak about something she was so passionate about. 
“These look bloody brilliant,” George murmured in awe as he flipped through the pages of her notebook.  
Y/N’s face warmed at the compliment, “Thanks.” 
All I’ve ever known is how to hold my own 
But now I wanna hold you too
For nearly every day after their first encounter, George made it a point to talk to Y/N. Whether it be along the hallways on the way to class, during meals (he would take her hand and drag her to the Gryffindor tables, much to her bemusement), or out on the grounds while she drew. 
Most of the time, he would talk and talk and talk as she listened quietly. A soft smile would always grace her lips as she observed him and how he spoke so highly of his family and how he was so excited for the shop he would be opening with his brother. The tone of his voice and his large grins always made her feel included in whatever it was that he talked about.
“Hello love,” George smiled down at her before plopping down on the soft grass to her right, “Reckon we’re on the last few days of good weather.”
His eyes raised skywards as the overcast clouds floated above them, hers did the same. 
“It’s alright,” she shrugged, sending him a small smile, “We’ve made the most of it, I think.”  
The pair sat in relative silence, as silent as it could be with one of the Weasley twins, as Y/N built up the courage to show George what she had made for him. With a deep breath, she plucked something from her school bag that lay strewn across the grass and held the parchment to her chest.
“George?” 
“Yeah, Y/N?” his eyes trained on her nervous figure and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Everything alright?” 
She nodded her head swiftly, “Yeah everything’s perfect! I just wanted to show you something that I made.” 
Slowly, she smoothed out the parchment in front of them. She observed George quietly as he took in the sketch she had made. His eyes scanned it over once, twice, three times before they met hers again. 
“Is this…” He mumbled, taking the sketch into his hands to look closer.
“You’ve just been so excited about your joke shop that I–I made a logo for you guys,” she smiled sheepishly, “It’s pretty bare bones, but I wanted you to see it. I won’t take offence if you don’t like it!” 
George stared at her, mouth slightly agape. This was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for him, and she did it out of the kindness of her heart. Without a second thought, he threw his arms around her and quickly pulled her to his chest. Y/N let out a little ‘oof’ as she collided with him, heat spreading throughout her body. She was thankful that she was basically smushed on his chest, at least then he couldn’t tell how flustered she got at his display of affection. 
“So d’you like it?” she asked shyly, looking up at him. 
“I bloody love it!” 
Y/N let out a breath that she didn’t know she was holding, the pair of them grinning at each other. 
Later in the day, George all but dragged Y/N into the Gryffindor common room in search of Fred. His brother was sat on one of the couches by the fireplace, chatting idly with Lee. The sound of parchment hitting him square in the chest rang through the relatively empty room. 
Fred’s hands immediately held onto whatever George had placed on him, and his eyes lit with joy as he realized what he was looking at. 
“Bloody hell!” he exclaimed, “Is this what I think it is?” 
George took a seat next to his brother, his hand tugging Y/N along to take the seat beside him, “Yep. Our Y/N here has made us a logo for Wheezes.” 
“This is brilliant, Y/N! Thank you!” 
For the second time that day, she found herself wrapped up in the arms of a Weasley twin. Slightly used to it, she just laughed the show of affection off and patted Fred slightly on the back. 
“Happy to help,” she smiled. 
As the seasons turned from autumn to winter, Y/N found herself spending more and more time with the red headed twins. She found their enthusiasm for their joke shop infectious, always chipping in with ideas of her own for products, or sketching up prototypes for them to look at. 
Slowly, her days were filled with laughter and warmth. 
It was a little jarring at first, spending so much time with people who actually cared about her, people who wanted to hear what she said and see what she created. It surprised her, really, how quickly she had become accustomed to being around them. 
After a while, though, she found herself wanting to spend as much time as possible with George. She lived for the routine that they had formed, spending most of their breaks and meals together. 
It struck her on a seemingly ordinary day, the realization that she was falling for him. 
Y/N and George were at a far corner in the library, discussing how the product designs she made could be tweaked a little. He was hunched over the parchment, tracing his fingers over the soft lines of charcoal on the parchment, smudging it just a tad bit and getting some of the pigment on him.
“I love the way you drew…” 
George had said something or other about the design, but Y/N couldn’t focus on anything except the way his arm flexed as he spoke. From the corner of her eye, she kept glancing at him, noticing how the glow of candlelight cast soft shadows on his face. The freckles on his cheeks seemed to dance in the flickering light, and looking at the constellations on his face made her breath hitch in her throat. 
She couldn’t quite place why her heart was raging in her chest, as if she hadn’t spent most of her days with the red headed boy anyway. 
And then it hit her. 
Her eyebrows shot up at the sudden awareness of her feelings for George. Oh sweet Merlin and Morgana, she thought. 
You take me in your arms
And suddenly there’s sunlight all around me
“George!” 
Y/N’s voice rang through the relatively empty hallway as she raced to meet her friend. The friend that she might have been in love with. The friend that she spent hours and hours of her day with, trying to ignore the bubble of feelings that wanted so badly to burst in her chest. 
The redhead who was on his way back up to his common room paused mid-step as he heard her voice. He spun on his heel, turning just in time for him to see her barreling towards him, waving a piece of parchment above her head. 
When she nearly collided head on with him, he instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist and steadied her, “Woah there, Y/N. There’s no need to try and kill me.”
She huffed, catching her breath slightly, “Sorry, I’m just so excited!” 
“Are you going to tell me what you’re excited about, or?” he teased, cocking his head to the side. 
With a grin on her face, she shoved the piece of parchment she was holding into George’s hands, “I just figured out how the general design of the Wonder Witch products should look like! See here there’s a–”
“Godric I love you.”
Both bodies froze at the statement. George immediately felt his whole body get hot, no doubt tinging his cheeks and the tips of his ears red. Y/N’s mouth was slightly agape, her mind whirring with all kinds of thoughts as she tried to comprehend what had just come out of George’s mouth. 
“What?” she asked, unable to form a proper sentence. 
George took a deep breath, there was no going back now, “Erm, yeah. I fancy the hell out of you, Y/N. That wasn’t the way I would’ve preferred to tell you but, I do–I do love you, yeah.” 
“Oh, Georgie,” Y/N whispered. 
Taking her answer as a rejection, he nervously rubbed the back of his neck, “It’s alright that you don’t feel the same way, I don’t want this to ruin–”
Instead of replying, she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him in a hug, “I love you too, you silly boy.” 
The nerves got the better of her, and her words were slightly muffled as she whispered them into his chest. 
“Come again?” 
“I love you too, George!” 
A wide grin spread across his face as he looked at the girl in his arms. He felt like he could fly with how happy he was. Everything he needed was right in front of him, and he would hold her close for as long as he could. 
General taglist: @expectoevans​ @george-fabian-weasley​ @gxthsanrio​ @slytherinscribbles​ @harpyloon​ @nuttytani​ @mesmerisedangel​ @amourtentiaa​ @hufflepuff5972
Weasley twins taglist: @whizboingies​ @pineapplesandpinas​ @papapapadumb​ @mrs-g-weasley​ @a-castle-of--glass​ @hey-there-angels​
437 notes · View notes
missymurphy1985 · 3 years
Text
The Writer (part eight)
Warning - angst / kidnapping / character death
Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @noctvrnalmoth @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @cilleveryone @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @datewithgianni @heidimoreton @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch
"Y/n.... Y/n wake up..." A woman's voice dragged you from the darkness. You were in bed. Thomas's bed. A tight grip on your hand and something gentle stroking your face.
"A shot..."
"Yes. But you're fine."
"I got shot?"
"No y/n, the shock made you pass out."
"Tommy?"
"I'm here. I'm fine."
Your eyes opened to find it was his hand holding yours, and his other one stroking your face. You smiled at him and his smile in return made your heart jump.
"What happened? Is Charlie safe?"
"He's in his room with Finn playing with his train set.
"Thank god... Lucille..."
"Dead. She didn't know I was right behind her with a pistol at her neck," Polly smirked. The relief flooded through you. Pulling yourself up slowly, with Tommy's help, he sat next to you on the bed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.
"Gave me quite a fright. I didn't see Polly either, I just heard the shot and you go down - " he held you tighter as you relaxed into his embrace.
"I thought you'd been shot... I was so scared!" The door to the room opened and little Charlie ran in, standing at the foot of the bed. The boy was the image of his mother, but with Tommy's piercing blue eyes.
"Charlie, I'd like you to meet someone very special," Tommy patted the space in front of him and the boy climbed up, sitting in front of you. You held out a hand and he took it gently.
"Charlie, my name is y/n. I'm so happy you're home and safe!"
"Daddy saved me," the three year old gave you a big grin making you smile.
"Yes he did. Can I come and see your train set Charlie? I used to love trains when I was little?"
"Yes!!" He pulled your arm to drag you out of bed and you dutifully complied, allowing the little boy to lead you to his room. Thomas chuckled watching you, warning Charlie to be careful with you as you were still delicate.
You sat playing trains with Charlie for most of the morning - making small villages with his toys.
You could see his eyes growing sleepy, and right on cue Tommy appeared with a cup of warm milk, scooping his drowsy son into his arms. Charlie drank the milk and settled on his Dad's shoulder, happily being rocked to sleep. Your heart melted watching them - the love Tommy had for this small boy so clear in his eyes as he held him close. Small kisses to the top of his head, humming an old Romani song you recognised from long ago when Polly would sing it to Finn as a baby. Within minutes, Charlie was asleep, and Tommy placed him gently in his bed with another kiss to his head. He kneeled next to him, stroking his face and whispering words you couldn't quite make out. You slowly tiptoed out of the room to give them a moment together, and headed down the stairs where Polly was fixing some lunch.
"Polly, where's Frances?" You asked.
"She.. she was in the house y/n, but we'd got there too late. She was already dead when we arrived, her heart gave out from the stress of it all. She wasn't involved. We put the husband through his own personal hell before we took his eyes, he told us she'd been forced to collect Charlie and take him to the hall. Her family had been threatened with torture if she hasn't. Poor woman had no choice."
"Oh Frances... Tommy must be devastated..."
"He's experienced more loss in his life than anyone should have, love. Which is why I have to say this... If you don't feel the same as he feels for you, you need to walk away now y/n. He can't handle another heartbreak, it'll kill him."
"Polly, the things I feel for that man can't be put into words.. he makes me feel alive. Like I'm walking on air when he's with me. I feel so free, and happy. Like I can take the world on as long as he's by my side. It feels comfortable, like being at home."
"Very similar to how he described you, actually," she smiled and gave you a hug. "About time you joined the family, although I was sure it would be John, not Thomas!"
"No, he only had eyes for Martha and I only had eyes for Jack. Until.."
"Everyone is allowed to move on Y/n. Jack wouldn't want you to be unhappy forever, would he?" You shook your head, swallowing back the tears. As much as you were falling in love with Tommy, there would always be a place in your heart for Jack.
The rest of the day was spent playing with Charlie. Tommy was reluctant at first, he didn't know what to do and was thinking about paperwork he needed to complete, but the way you and Charlie looked at him through puppy dog eyes had him beat. Charlie loved the new attention from his father, showing him all of his toys. You ended up in the garden that evening, taking a walk around the grounds and letting him explore.
"Thank you." Tommy smiled, his arm over your shoulder.
"For what?"
"For this. For showing me there's more to life than paperwork."
"Charlie just needs you. Not the toys or the fancy clothes, he needs his Dad."
"I guess I didn't know how - Grace always took care of this side of it. Then Frances.."
"I know - listen, my flatmate is looking for work. She's amazing with children. Why don't I talk to her, see if she'll come help with Charlie while you're working?"
"Can she be trusted?"
"She's marrying my brother, and I've known her since we were babies."
"Then yes." You smiled and turned to Charlie who was fascinated with the flowers.
"What do you think Charlie, can we run faster than Daddy?" You laughed, hoisting the boy onto your back and pointing to a tree the other side of the garden. Tommy smirked at you, taking his jacket off.
"Not a chance!" He laughed.
"Daddy old - too slow!" Charlie giggled behind you.
"Sounds like a challenge to me, boy," Tommy smirked before setting off in a sprint. You quickly ran as fast as you could, Charlie's laughter spurring you on.
"We win!!!" Charlie laughed as you easily reached the tree first, even with Tommy's cheating head start.
"It would appear your Dad is too old for this!" Tommy laughed, laying down to catch his breath. Charlie's hands reached for him, and you placed him on top of Tommy's chest. He quickly nuzzled into him, his eyes growing heavy. You watched the two of them for a few minutes, your heart felt like it would explode.
"Come on little man, let's get you to bed eh?" Tommy sat up gently, lifting his son into his arms. The three of you headed back to Arrow House.
Once Charlie was in bed asleep, he joined you in the sitting room. You already had the whiskey and two glasses ready.
"I hope you don't mind, I wasn't planning on going home?" You smiled, pouring two glasses.
"I thought you said you already were home?"
"You listening into my conversations Thomas?"
"Did you mean what you said?"
"Every word. Want me to show you exactly how much I meant it?"
He sat next to you on the sofa and shook his head.
"I'm going to show you how much I meant it when I told Polly the same thing. Brace yourself, y/n. You're in for a very long evening."
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moonbeamwritings · 3 years
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annoyances and nosebleeds
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Summary: In which you really hate Tōru Oikawa (or, more accurately, the time you realized that may not be entirely true).
A/N: this is my first haikyuu fic, so pls be very gentle with me! let me know what you think!
If there was one thing you knew with utmost certainty, it was that Tōru Oikawa was the single most annoying person you’d ever met. 
Not only did his gaggle of fangirls make you late for class at least once a week, blocking nearly the entire hallway as they giggled and whispered among themselves about who was giving Oikawa a present this time, but the boy himself was arguably more obnoxious— if that was even humanly possible.
He was aggravating and smug, always teasing you about his higher grades and poking and prodding at you for being single. So what if maybe, sometimes— on very rare occasions— you found his smile kinda cute in a “I want to punch him in the face” sort of way? You hated him and no amount of charm was ever going to solve that.
Right?
Your heart raced as your teacher worked through the list of partnerships for an upcoming project, leg bouncing restless as you waited, breath caught in your throat. As you heard your name being called, you prayed to whoever would listen that you wouldn’t end up with him.
Across the room, Oikawa was working through a similar internal monologue. He hated you in equal measure, that much was true. He hated your stick-in-the-mud attitude and the way you rubbed your grades in his face. He hated the way you glared at him and his fangirls in the hallways or the way you made a point of congratulating Iwa-chan on volleyball wins, but refused to do the same for him. 
He hated the confident lilt in your voice when you contributed something in class and the bright, almost blinding, light of your smile as you laughed with your friends at lunch. Well, maybe ignore that last part. Oikawa hated you. Plain and simple.
“... you will be working with Oikawa.”
Oikawa heard Iwaizumi and Makki snickering at the news, sending him teasing glances as they joked about his bad luck. Oh, if looks could kill.
Meanwhile, you’d decided that today, and the next two weeks where you’d be subjected to Oikawa’s company, was about to be the lowest point of your life. You couldn’t wait.
The moment the bell rang, signaling the end of an incredibly long day, you watched out of the corner of your eye as Oikawa sauntered over to your desk, teasing smirk already on his face.
This was gonna be good.
“It seems the tides of fate have blessed us both, hmm.” The way he spoke your name, tacking on a sarcastic honorific as he put on a front of sweetness, made your stomach churn.
“Trust me, Oikawa,” you bit back, closing your notebooks as you packed your things, “I don’t like this anymore than you do.”
He pouted, planting his hands on either side of your desk, leaning down to invade your line of vision, “I don’t know. I think you do. You are secretly in love with me, after all.” 
He watched in amusement as your face contorted in disgust, “and lest we forget I am smarter than you.”
“Bold words from someone who took a volleyball to the face last week.” You refused to look at him, shoving the rest of your things in your bag in an attempt to make this conversation as short as possible.
Your words only seemed to spur him on though. You could practically hear the way he was smirking, the bastard. “Hey, I thought you said you don’t come to our practices with all of my… hmmm, what did you call them again? Fangirls, was it?”
As you zipped your bag, he leaned over again, this time successfully getting you to look at him, “Are you a fangirl?”
With a huff, you stood from your seat, brushing your shoulder against Oikawa’s as you moved towards the classroom door. “I would rather keel over and die, Oikawa. Don’t flatter yourself.”
He caught up with you quickly, falling into stride with you as he shot a hand up to grip at his chest, “You wound me. I don’t think I can possibly go on.”
“Good,” you spoke resolutely. “Listen, I don’t want to talk to you any longer than I have to, so let’s make this as painless as possible. Just meet me in the library when you get out of practice.”
Without so much as a backward glance, you clicked your locker shut and ventured off, completely ignoring the mocking words Oikawa threw your way, whining about how he could really feel the love from where he was standing. Asshole.
The first meeting went about as well as you’d expected, with Oikawa arriving well after when you knew volleyball ended, seemingly more interested in making you suffer than he was in actually getting work done.
“Will you quit it? I’m not carrying this whole thing because you’re too lazy to do anything.”
He had his head resting in his palm, eyes memorizing the little crease between your brows as you got more angry. He wasn’t really listening to you and you could tell.
Sighing, you pressed two fingers against the inner corners of your eyes. “I hate you. Have I told you that yet today?”
“You might’ve once or twice. Or a hundred times. I’ve started to lose count,” he replied with a playful smile.
The next few meetings carried on much the same. You met with Oikawa after volleyball practice, you would get about an hour of work done before he began picking on you again, doodling on your papers or teasing you about being in love with him, and then you’d go home and complain about him to your friends.
Your life fell into an incredibly mundane cycle— go to school, meet with Oikawa, go home, and do homework— day in and day out. Until one particularly bad day sent you reeling, in more ways than one. You’d woken up late, forgotten an assignment, failed a test, and that was only the beginning of a very long list of grievances. It was overwhelming, to say the least. You’d been feeling the academic pressure for weeks; as if you had a storm cloud looming over you, invading your mind and making it harder and harder to work on your homework. You knew what needed to be done, but it never seemed like it was good enough, especially not today.
So, as you sat and waited for Oikawa’s practice to end, you allowed yourself to cry. Dark clouds usually meant rain, didn’t they? Hot, wet tears cascaded down your cheeks, slipping off your chin only to splatter across your papers, smearing the ink as they went. Furiously, you attempted to stop the flow, wiping tear after tear away until you finally resigned yourself to the pathetic mental image of what you must look like— alone, crying in some back corner of the library as you tried to muffle the hiccups that threatened to spill from your mouth.
In your flurry of emotions, you failed to hear the muffled thud of sneakers along the carpet.
“Hey,” a gentle voice called out, “you okay?”
Oikawa.
Bile slipped up the back of your throat at the idea of being caught by him, the sound of his voice nearly reinvigorating your tears as humiliation burned your skin. Barely able to muster the courage to speak, you simply nodded your head, wiping the remaining tears with the soft sleeve of your sweater.
Picking up your pen and completely ignoring the uneven sound of your voice, you began taking notes again. “Let’s just get to work.”
Oikawa was quick to sink into the seat across from you, mind reeling at what he’d just seen. His mouth fell open as he watched you, eyes still glassy, as your pen glided across your notebook.
You had just been crying. You didn’t really expect him to just carry on with the project, to just ignore the distress he’d walked in on, did you?
He gave you a hard time, pushing your buttons and making fun of you, but all along he’d assumed it was little more than hatred— physical and verbal manifestations of how frustrated he was that you wouldn’t give him the time of day. Now, with concern gripping at his chest after having seen you fall apart, he wasn’t quite sure what to think anymore.
“You’re not really about to act like nothing happened, are you?” A mirthless chuckle sounding from his throat, a tentative hand reaching out to stop your pen. “I know you think I’m an idiot, but this is downright insulting.”
“What do you want me to say, Oikawa? Don’t act like you’re some knight in shining armor after all this time.
Ow.
“I’m not heartless. Tell me what’s wrong.”
His words were short, leaving absolutely no room for debate. It was now or never.
“I’ve just felt a lot of academic pressure recently, that’s all.”
Oikawa nodded along and for once in his life, seemed to be genuinely listening to you. His hand hadn’t left yours.
“And?” He urged you to continue, leaning in slightly to take in your words.
“It’s just been a lot. I get good grades, sure, but it never seems good enough.”
Oikawa’s eyes widened, your words sounding all too familiar. He’d had these exact conversations with himself as he sat in front of his TV, watching volleyball footage over and over again. He was good, but there was always someone better. He knew how exhausting that could be, knew— too well — that nagging feeling of worthlessness despite hard work.
Maybe you weren’t so different after all.
“I feel like that sometimes too,” a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it squeeze of your hand, “maybe we can learn together.”
You didn’t respond, you weren’t sure you could. It was as if the entire image of Oikawa you’d crafted was crumbling, fragments of hatred tumbling to the sides to reveal, what you could only assume was the real him. And in this moment, though you’d never admit it, you were grateful.
You nodded, “I think I’d like that.”
Oikawa had to bite back a jest, some ridiculous passing comment about how he knew that you’d been in love with him all along, but he didn’t in favor of savoring the gentle smile you’d graced him with.
The rest of your little meetings were amenable and your encounters in the school hallways even more so. It wasn’t a complete 180, but it was definitely noticeable.
Your friends caught on to the shy smile on your face after Oikawa shot a wave in your direction and practically the entire volleyball team had seen Oikawa blush after he’d seen you at lunch one day. And both groups were going to get to the bottom of it if it killed them.
“You were at each other’s throats literally just last week,” your friend groaned, sending pieces of popcorn across the table and into your hair. “What the hell happened?”
“I told you, it’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing,” your other friend piped in. “You actually considered going to volleyball practice the other day. You’ve never gone willingly.”
“And, you actually smiled at him in the hallway!”
You brought your voice down to a whisper, not wanting to be overheard talking about something so stupid, “I don’t like Oikawa. He’s annoying and full of himself. You guys are seeing things.”
They were unconvinced.
Oikawa hadn’t been faring much better.
“Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi smirked, “you sure changed your tune.”
Oikawa rolled his eyes. “What’re you talking about?”
Iwaizumi pitched his voice up, a poor rendition of his best friend, “I can’t stand them Iwa-can~ How am I ever going to survive?” He dropped the act seconds later, elbowing the other player in the ribs, “Meanwhile you actually seem to enjoy doing this project with them.”
Makki and Mattsun laughed along before Mattsun interjected, “Don’t forget the blush!”
“Oh,” Makki howled, “how could we forget? He looked like a pink highlighter.”
All Oikawa could do was huff. “I don’t like them.”
And boy was he wrong.
With the project coming to an end, Oikawa laid awake, staring at his ceiling as he thought about how exactly he’d spend his time now that you weren’t meeting with him in the library every afternoon. Would you keep hanging out? Would you come to his games? What if you stopped smiling at him in school, returning to the bitter back-and-forths that had been so common before?
Oikawa shot up in bed, chest heaving and eyes wide. He liked you.
Oh no.
Across town, cuddled under the comforter in your own bedroom, you thought about Oikawa— as you had been most nights since you became partners. As your mind wandered, you realized that by now, you’d memorized the color of his eyes and that you could decipher exactly which of his smiles were genuine and which weren’t. You smiled as you thought about the feeling of your hand in his, about how warm his skin had felt against your own.
Your heart was in your throat. You were heading down a point of no return, one in which only humiliation awaited you. You liked Tōru Oikawa.
How cruel.
On your walk to school the following day, you’d decided that avoiding him would be the easiest option from here on out. The project was done and you were saving yourself the embarrassment of falling for someone who clearly would never be interested. You’d convinced yourself that day in the library had been a fluke, a trick of the light. He didn’t like you.
You ducked out of sight when he was about to pass in the halls, you pointedly looked elsewhere during class— whatever you could to suppress whatever feelings you had for him. All the while blissfully unaware of the effect you were having on the setter.
He knew this would happen, knew that the moment the project was submitted you’d begin to act differently, but he hadn’t thought you’d ignore him entirely. He almost missed the biting tone of voice you used whenever you scolded him, at least then you were looking at him, speaking to him.
He’d been so out of focus that during practice he’d taken one of Iwaizumi’s spikes directly to the face, sending blood dribbling down from his nose.
“Go take a walk,” Iwaizumi demanded, waving a hand in the direction of the door. “You’re no good if you’re just gonna stand there like a love-sick puppy.”
Sighing in defeat, Oikawa headed off, pinching the bridge of his nose as he went. His feet carried him along the tile, looping through hallways until he found himself outside of the library. You wouldn’t be in there, right? You didn’t really have any reason to be, not anymore.
Whatever.
Body on autopilot, he followed the familiar path, counting stacks as he walked along the main aisle. Rounding the final corner and expecting to be disappointed, he pinched his nose harder.
You let out a squeak at the sight of Oikawa, supposedly in the midst of volleyball practice, emerging from the stacks like a zombie, nose bloodied, face red and shiny with sweat.
“What are you-”
“I like you. A lot.” He had no idea where the words came from, but he wasn’t about to take them back now.
“Ha ha, very funny. You haven’t used that one before.”
A look crossed Oikawa’s face— one you hadn’t seen since the day he’d caught you crying.
Sincerity.
Your stomach flipped, “You’re not joking.”
He shook his head, using the back of his hand to wipe away the blood that was still steadily trickling from his nose.
Oh.
“I like you too.”
A smirk crossed Oikawa’s face, a joking lilt taking over his serious tone, “I knew it.”
You rolled your eyes good-naturedly, bringing a hand up to rub your thumb against his cheekbone. It was sticky with sweat, but it was either that or landing a kiss to his lips and interrupting his nosebleed. Gross.
“Wanna meet me back here after practice?”
“God, yes.”
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