#something something stereotypes about people who experience hallucinations

[spookymakosharkskizzers]

It’s so strange to me when peoples first reaction to hearing you hallucinate is “gosh that must be so scary”. I wish I could articulate right now exactly what it is that reaction makes me feel but all I I’ve got right now is it’s strange.

[creation-help]

Attention

If you're schizophrenic/schizospec in some way, have/experience psychosis, extreme paranoia, hallucinations, delusions, or in general have a mental illness / neurological condition that is widely demonized (like most cluster b disorders)

Could you please take a moment to leave a word or two about representation? I'm making this post so that people with misunderstood mental conditions could get a boost in talking about representation, and for everyone else to learn something valuable relating to portraying characters like that in original works (or fanworks too!)

Basically, I'm gathering input from people who live with these conditions about what they'd like to see more, in terms of representation in media, harmful stereotypes or pitfalls to avoid, and how to appropriately portray mental illness in fantasy settings for example.

So if you have anything you think would be valuable to know for people outside your group or community, feel free to add on! In reblogs or comments. No pressure though! You can only mention one thing for example, or maybe one criticism and one wish for what you'd like in representation. Don't be ashamed to go on a long rant either, if you have stuff to say! Whatever you feel like commenting on! I'll try to boost all/as many responses as this post gets.

If you're not part of the group I'm asking input from, please reblog for a wider reach if possible!

Obviously I know even people within the same communities can have different opinions and preferences for representation, which is why I wish we could get a wide range of responses to this.

Thank you in advance!

[tmgstudios]

[long post, sorry, theres a tldr at the end but i really recommend reading the full thing if you can]

i really wish there was more like. narcolepsy awareness stuff in the world. that teaches people the actual symptoms and not just the stereotype. the amount of people i have talked to both online and in person about my experiences with narcolepsy who have been shocked at how much they related to my experiences is staggering. 

narcolepsy is so under-diagnosed and also very often misdiagnosed as something else because so many people, even within the medical field, don’t know the actual symptoms of narcolepsy (i am not pulling this out of my ass, my sleep specialist has told me this several times. its a real issue that sleep specialists continue to battle to this day). up until relatively recently, the past 5-10 years or so, narcolepsy and other similar sleep disorders weren’t even considered real by a lot of the medical field!!

narcolepsy is not “falls asleep at random” disorder. narcolepsy is a disorder of sleep cycles, causing the brain to enter rem sleep much quicker and more frequently then it should. 

this causes things like excessive daytime tiredness/chronic fatigue, extremely vivid dreams, sleep paralysis, hallucinations while waking up/falling asleep, and in the case of those with narcolepsy type-1, cataplexy (aka, while feeling intense emotions the brain will enter rem sleep while awake, causing muscles to lock up. this is where the “falls asleep at random” stereotype comes from, but the person experiencing it is not actually asleep, just unable to move their muscles. i can’t really speak more on this specific part of narcolepsy, since i have type-2, aka narcolepsy without cataplexy, this is just the basics i was told by my sleep doctors. EDIT: someone who experiences cataplexy has added their experiences in a reblog, if youd like to learn more please go take a look!!) [note: these are not the only symptoms of narcolepsy. not all people with narcolepsy will experience all of these symptoms, and everyone will experience them at different frequencies. for example, i only get sleep paralysis once every month or so, and my hallucinations tend to be limited to auditory] according to my sleep doctor, narcolepsy also has links to both adhd and chronic strep throat as a child (i have no idea how that last one works. but. thats what my doctor said and hey. she was right. i had chronic strep throat as a child and look at me now.) EDIT because i forgot to add: narcolepsy can not only co-exist with insomnia, but cause insomnia as well! excessive daytime tiredness --> more naps during the day --> harder time falling asleep at night

so yeah. i guess this is me doing awareness. if you relate to any of these symptoms, please talk to a sleep specialist if you’re able to. it might not be narcolepsy, but chances are it’s something, since none of these things are normal (to repeat, excessive daytime tiredness is not normal. that means there is something wrong). theres nothing wrong with asking a sleep specialist about narcolepsy and getting tested for it, even if you come back negative. 

my dms and askbox are open anytime for any kind of questions about narcolepsy, the diagnostic process, treatments, etc. while i am not a doctor, i have learned a lot through my own experiences, talking with my sleep specialist, and also my own research, since i’m currently studying to hopefully make narcolepsy research my career! whether you are questioning having narcolepsy or not, you are not bothering me with questions, i promise, you asking will probably make my day

TLDR; narcolepsy is a very misunderstood and underdiagnosed sleep disorder, and i highly recommend everyone learn about what it actually is and what the symptoms actually are, and if you relate to any of them, talk to a sleep specialist

[other narcoleptics feel free to add on to this post with your own experiences(and also to message me i always want to talk to other narcoleptics ASJDKHJ), and non-narcoleptics please please feel free to reblog! i really want to start spreading awareness for this disorder, since again, severally under/misdiagnosed and most of the world is still under the impression that the narcolepsy stereotype is true]

[schizodiaries]

how to care for a loved one with schizophrenia

I have made a few posts already about self-care tips for schizophrenic people, but now I want to talk about different ways a non-schizophrenic can help care for their schizophrenic friends and family.

Do some research on schizophrenia. Learn about the history of the disorder, the symptoms that may be present (and the different categories of symptoms), the medication we take, etc. Showing that you’ve made an effort to try to understand us is a kind gesture and we won’t forget it.

Learn how to talk to someone who is actively delusional, psychotic, or hallucinating. You want to stay as neutral as possible, as in, avoid outright denying or endorsing what they believe. (Ex. “I’m the president of the U.S.” “Oh, I thought the president was Joe Biden?”)

Uncover their triggers. If they are comfortable sharing it with you, it may help to know what their triggers are so you can avoid them or help them to cope. (Sharing triggers is a sign of trust, don’t abuse this trust by taking advantage of them.)

Create a safe and welcoming environment for your schizophrenic loved one. Refrain from using ableist language, or misusing words used to describe our symptoms (delusional, psychotic, etc). We might not act like it hurts us, but it does.

Don’t believe in all the stereotypes you see in the media. Schizophrenic people are not inherently violent. At the same time, don’t be surprised if they display bizarre or unpredictable behavior. This illness affects different people in different ways. There is no one way to be schizophrenic.

Speaking of which, let your schizophrenic loved one unmask every now and again, or as often as you’re both comfortable with. Let them talk to themselves, make odd movements, rant about their ideas, obsess over numbers, or whatever unmasking looks like for them. Don’t punish them for it or make them feel bad about it either.

Try not to see schizophrenia as something that needs to be “cured.” Currently there is no cure for schizophrenia, though it is treatable. It’s one thing to wish for a cure as a schizophrenic person, but it’s another for someone else to wish we can be cured. To us, it implies that you don’t want us to be ourselves or want to change something about us. Wouldn’t you rather have us just the way we are, schizophrenia and all?

Avoid sending your loved one to a psych hospital as much as possible. I understand that they aren’t all bad and can be necessary or even beneficial to a person experiencing a mental health crisis. But these places are notorious for being neglectful, traumatizing, and abusive. Look at the reviews for any of your local psych hospitals and tell me why you would want to send your loved one there.

If you want to join support groups for schizophrenia, online or irl, look into ones that focus primarily on the people that have the illness, not just their loved ones. It’s important to hear directly from schizophrenic individuals and learn about the experiences we have. I understand it may be hard for you as a parent, child, caretaker, etc. of a schizophrenic person, but it’s infinite times harder for them.

[blubushie]

Are there some things you dislike about fans' interpretation of the other mercs?

Yeah uh. This is long so it's under the cut. Whole TF2 fandom boutta be like 2Fort on my arse.

I hate how people make Medic "evil". He's fun and goofy and likes doing experiments and he'll betray the people paying him for the sake of his long-time coworkers who he's mates with. He's not evil, he's not manipulative, outsmarting the LITERAL DEVIL doesn't make you a bad person. There is literally nothing in canon to point to Medic being evil except MAYBE stealing a bloke's spine (coulda been dark humour for all we know) and turning a criminal into a sentient pumpkin, which is something that Engie HELPED HIM DO but no one goes around calling him evil. Medic is chaotic good or chaotic neutral, he is not evil.

The amount of people who are downright racist about Demo, or the amount of people who reduce his addiction to the butt of a joke. There's a lot of shit that I notice. They act like Demo isn't fiercely loyal—look at his relationship to his mum). They act like he's lazy because he's an alcoholic—HE HAS 3 JOBS AND WANTS MORE, HE WASN'T LAZY IN THE COMICS HE WAS DEPRESSED BECAUSE HE LOST ALL HIS MATES. On the other end of the coin, you have people insisting that Demo's alcoholism isn't as bad as it actually is, as if substance abuse is a fucking moral failing and they can't have their blorbo be a bad person by just letting him be the alcoholic he's shown to be in canon.

As an intersex man: do not get me fucking started on the amount of intersex+NB headcanons I've seen of Pyro. People need to realise that like the rest of the human population, most intersex people are cis, that gender is not equivalent to sex, and that EVERY intersex character being non-binary promotes a harmful stereotype. Actually I'll be honest—I side-eye EVERY intersex Pyro headcanon what's made by a perisex person. Most the time they give off massive virtue signal vibes and I really don't like how the second you can't clearly determine someone's gender people immediately go "ah, intersex" like we're all visually androgynous. I also don't like how the person MOST OTHERED ON THE TEAM is always given the intersex headcanon. It doesn't make me feel represented, it makes me feel like everyone already seems me as an other and that's all I'll ever be.

People who act like the pronoun police and insist Pyro's pronouns are they/them. Canonically Pyro is always and consistently referred to as he/him except when he's being dehumanised by his own team and called it. It's cool if you headcanon Pyro as using they/them, just remember it ISN'T CANON and you shouldn't be getting on people's arse about non-canon pronouns. What are you a cop?

On a similar vein, the amount of people who infantilise Pyro. Pyro was literally the CEO OF A COMPANY who was responsible for RECORD PROFITS OF THAT COMPANY. Pyro is an adult. People assume that because Pyro hallucinates or enjoys "childish" things that it means Pyro's a child. Please be fucking normal about mental illness, my god.

People who make Scout transfem for the sole purpose of shipping Scout with Pauling, worse even if they outright make it so that Scout transitioned SPECIFICALLY to hook up with Pauling. You realise that you're enforcing TERF "all transfems are predatory and transition just to get chicks/transfem lesbians are just straight men" rhetoric right? Please tell me you're aware. People who make Scout transfem for reasons beside this (ie you just like transfem Scout) and still hook her up with Pauling for fun, I love you and this post is not about you. <3

People who ignore Medic's likely bisexuality in favour of writing him as a strictly gay male. Bi erasure is fucking real lads. If you have the view that Demo was talking out his arse and didn't actually shag Medic's wife cuz he's not even married, cool ok. I'm talking about the people who insist Medic's wife was his beard.

People who act like the ship police with Pauling's sexuality when her being a lesbian was something mentioned in one tweet on Twitter by Jay, not approved by Valve, and never referenced in the source material (outside of MAYBE how she stared at Zhanna while she was fighting robots, but that facial expression could also be interpreted as impressed or "so horrified she can't look away". Especially when she outright agreed to go on a second date with Scout in Expiration Date. If you headcanon her as a lesbian, cool! Just don't enforce it on other people and give them flak for shipping her with non-women characters. This applies to people aggressively enforcing Medic's sexuality as well. What are you a cop?

How the character people trans the most is the white skinny twink, white skinny otter, or white wolf. Why not Demo? Trans people of colour exist too. I can count the trans Demo headcanons I've seen on one hand. Why not Heavy? Why not Heavy? You know fat trans people exist too right?

My family is southern and half the time people don't know what the fuck goes on down south. Tell me you've never been to a cookout without telling me you've never been to a cookout. They either write him as too northern/coasty and only enforce the "stereotype" southern aspects of him, or they write him as racist/homophobic/transphobic/etc because he's southern. Luckily the latter gets a LOT of pushback on Tumblr so I haven't seen it much, but it's more prevalent on Twitter and fanfic sites.

People conveniently ignoring how Heavy's father was killed and his family was imprisoned by the USSR so they can call him a communist. Lol what. I get that you hate capitalism but you realise there's more options than just capitalism vs communism vs socialism right? That you can hate/dislike communism without also being a capitalist? Heavy would not support communism after what the USSR did to his family in the name of communism because his father was a counter-revolutionary. Also people ignoring WHY Heavy's father was killed, and how his father having different politics got his whole family, including innocent children chucked to a GULAG IN SIBERIA where they were starved and constantly abused by the guards, and how even after their escape the government continued to hunt them with the intent of killing them. He would not be a communist. He probably sees a hammer and sickle in his fucken nightmares.

Spy being evil and an arsehole. You know his schtick is the suave gentleman right? He's cool but he also has to be cringefail. And arsehole is a far cry from a gentleman.

People making Soldier a bigot. Har har I know it's funny to joke about the bloke obsessed with America being a bigot, but do you honestly think he cares enough? He's xenophobic at worst. Everyone is assumed to be American and his best mate is a black Scottish cyclops. Half the time I'm convinced you people want Soldier to be a bigot so you can write bigoted shit and not cop shit cuz it's coming out of his mouth.

Carrying on from prev, the amount of people I've seen use the time setting as an excuse to be bigoted towards the characters. This is ESPECIALLY prevalent where it seems like every story-focussed fic of Demo has a scene where someone is being racist to him and he Heroically Sticks Up For Himself or someone else sticks up for him to show How Much They Don't Care About Being Seen With A Black Man (usually it's Soldier, sometimes it's Sniper). You realise everyone knows racism is bad, right? That that's really not necessary? It wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't in EVERY FIC but it's like the author always needs to proudly claim themselves Not Racist while writing REALLY RACIST SHIT directed at the ONE CONFIRMABLE MAN OF COLOUR on the team just so they can yell "RACISM BAD but here's me jumping at the opportunity to call a man of colour a racial slur".

Well, reckon that about covers her...

[cerise-on-top]

Soap with a Schizophrenic S/O

Same thing with Soap, except his is a lot longer. Over 2k words, in fact. Again, please don't come after me for something like this, I'm just trying to cope as well. These are based on my experiences, so those of other people are likely far different.

Unlike Ghost, he won’t be as gentle as he’s trying to convince you to tell him about what’s wrong. You look like your world was about to end, so something had to be up. Soap wants to know, he needs to know. Whatever it is he can do for you, he will, but you need to be open and honest with him first. He’d ask you regarding what happened for a prolonged time, trying to piece things together somehow. He’s a curious guy in general, especially when it comes to you. You can keep your little secret all you want, he’ll figure it out eventually, at latest when he’s asked questions around everything. While his first guess definitely wouldn’t be schizophrenia, in fact it won’t be his second or third guess either, he’ll do his research. He’s known about your mental state for a while now and how it isn’t the best. You’ll budge eventually.

When you do tell him he’ll be quiet for a few moments. He’s been with a lot of people, met all kinds of them, but no one who outright told him they were schizophrenic. While he tries to not be as judgemental as he could be, he did believe some of the stereotypes regarding the illness, how it’s just hallucinations and nothing else, how those people can be quite dangerous. Mostly to themselves, but to other people as well. Once it clicks, those stereotypes are disregarded, however. You’re one of the sweetest people he’s ever met, you’re not at all dangerous to other people. There were a few self-destructive behaviors, yes, but you were actively working on them. Soap will feel so much guilt for believing all those bad things people say about your kind. He would never admit to such, but will try to better himself.

He genuinely believed your mental illness wasn’t as severe as it is, thinking it to be mostly you struggling with depression. He was supportive, even then, but this puts a few things into perspective. During serious times like this, he’s barely one to joke around unless asked to. If you’re okay with it, he’ll pull you into a hug. It’s a long lasting one, he needs to be able to forgive himself for believing the stereotypes and not having realized everything sooner. It’s a tight hug as well, but very warm, he means well, he wants you to be well. Considering he’s a touchy guy, and how touch grounds him, he’s trying to process this as much as you do.

As previously mentioned, he knows plenty of people, being quite social and all, so there’s likely someone who’s a therapist among them. That person will be his source of information regarding your illness since they likely know best. Not that he won’t do his own research, but he will compare what he knows and what he’s hearing from them. However, he will ask you as well about it. Eventually, he’ll come to realize that every mental illness is as individual as it gets. What are your symptoms? Do you know the signs that appear when it gets worse? Can he help you at all? He genuinely hopes he can help you, he wants to be there for you, even if it’s just by hearing you out about how it’s gotten better or worse.

He’s a very observant guy, so he’ll notice you having trouble with some things. It’s evident that your speech can be considered a bit odd, but he doesn’t judge you for that. He may have poked fun at you for it before he knew about your schizophrenia, but it was never malicious. He stops entirely with that afterwards. If you need some time figuring out how to say something, he’ll wait, giving a few suggestions of what you might have wanted to say at most. Doesn’t matter if your pronunciation or grammar are considered weird, as long as he knows what you’re trying to tell him, all is good. If he doesn’t know what you’re saying he’ll ask a few questions, but that’s about it. As soon as someone calls you out on your speech he will throw hands. Soap can be a rather aggressive man at times, especially when it’s about his loved ones. Even if he knows you can defend yourself just fine, he’ll still threaten that person. He can be quite intimidating too, so there’s that.

Soap can definitely believe that it can be hard to accept that you're schizophrenic, and that that is one of the signs of you getting worse. You’re spiteful of your diagnosis? You think you’re some monster because of it? He’ll reassure you again and again that you’re just a regular human being, not some malicious person. You’re not actively harming anyone, are you? You’re always taking care of him, no? You make him smile whenever you can, so now it’s his turn to do the same for you. You’re the loveliest person he’s ever met, no diagnosis can take you away from him. You may not feel many emotions, show even less, but you’re still you. Lovely and loving you. You have a heart of gold. You give him something to look forward to at the end of his deployment. His only regret is that he can’t spend more time with you during it. He will recount all the nice things you’ve done for him when you loathe yourself with a kiss to your temple. You deserve to feel good about yourself as well.

Although thinking can be a rather difficult thing for you, he won’t take away your authority. Sure, he’ll give you some suggestions on what you could do, what he thinks might be a good outcome, but he’ll leave it up to you. And if you’re talking about something that requires you to think a lot and hard, he’ll give you the time, no matter how embarrassing it may be for you. He won’t think less of you. You’re a smart cookie deep down, your mental illness just makes it more difficult for that intelligence to shine through all the time. But if the fog makes it impossible for you to think then he won’t press you. He’ll talk to you about mindless things that don’t require much thinking. You don’t have to respond too much either, only when you feel like it. He can tell when you’re confused, he’ll repeat the things he’s said a bit to give you more clarity if you can’t remember what he said. You’re more than welcome to ask him about it, though, I can assure you he won’t be annoyed. He wants to have a conversation with you, even if it might just be him talking for the most part. But if he really can’t think of anything to say and you can’t talk either, then he’ll just hold you close and cuddle with you on the couch for a bit.

You can always, and I mean always, ask him if something you’ve heard was real or not. Same with you seeing or smelling something. He’ll be honest every time. You don’t have to feel bad about it either, he won’t judge, but might grow concerned if it’s happening consecutively over a short time. But then again, he’s aware those things are more scary or annoying to you than they are to him. He does take mental notes on how often they’re occurring and how severe your hallucinations may be. If they become very frequent or particularly bad, then he’ll suggest that you should maybe go see your psychiatrist, ask them if you maybe need some new meds. He’ll eventually learn that not all of your symptoms can be managed with meds, but he’ll ask anyway.

Soap is a rather expressive guy, who can read facial expressions well enough. So your flat affect would worry him from time to time. Yes, he knows that that’s just what you’re like, but he can’t read you properly when you’re upset. Even if you not showing any emotions in and of itself can be a sign of you not doing too well. I know it might seem annoying, but he means well whenever he asks you how you’re feeling. Don’t lie to him, though. Just because your face doesn’t betray you doesn’t mean there aren’t other signs that are telltale signs you’re lying. He’ll figure those out eventually. Truth be told, you not showing any emotions does unnerve him a bit at first, but he’ll learn to manage. He knows you do feel. After all, you stayed with him, even if he can be quite the handful. Pure love at its finest. Whenever you do show some form of emotion, he’s relieved and knows better what to do then. You’re happy and wanna chat with him? Gladly. You’ve gone quiet? Are you mad or sad? Either way, if you’re more of a reclusive person then he’ll leave you be for a bit so you can calm down, but will check up on you every hour or so. You can tell him to fuck off, he will, but only temporarily. If you’re especially down in the dumps but you still don’t wanna see anyone, he’ll order takeout for the both of you.

When it comes to delusions he genuinely doesn’t know what to do, however. He will try to convince you that no harm will come to you, but he knows he can’t take that lingering feeling away from you. Nothing he does could ever mend that distrust you have of the world, he can only hope that the love you feel for him is enough. He knows that nothing he says will ever be enough to make you trust the world, but he’ll try anyway. Sometimes a reassuring word is better than nothing. He wants you to be able to rely on him, no matter what, and will feel horrible if he can’t achieve such a thing. It may not be the best thing to do, but he will list the things he’s done for you to show you that he does, in fact, care about you. It may not work in the moment, in fact it may make things worse during your episode, but he’ll try anyway. However, if you feel as though you are being persecuted by someone, then he’ll assure you that he’ll take care of anyone who tries to harm you. He is being genuine about this, he has killed people before and will do so any day if it’s about you. Your safety goes above all else.

Considering he’s a pretty social guy, he will want you to meet some of his friends that he knows you’ll get along with. Gaz and Ghost are pretty high up on that list. Although Ghost may be intimidating at first, Soap knows he wouldn’t ever hurt you. It’s important to him that you get along well with his friends. Gaz is a nice guy, you’ll likely get along as well. His sarcasm makes for some humorous situations. You shutting yourself in and getting away from all the people around you is something that would genuinely bother Soap. He knows it’s not the right thing to force you to come out of your shell and meet new people, but he does want you to have a few friends at least. Reliable ones, like Gaz and Ghost. Being social is important for humans, it always cheers Soap up whenever he gets to spend time with you or with his friends. Even if you don’t feel like going outside to meet people, Soap will sometimes make plans anyway, intending for you to trot along. Who knows, it might be fun. Plus you get to go outside a bit, talk to some good people. There’s a chance it might cheer you up as well. You don’t particularly have to worry about keeping in contact with those people either. If they’re good friends of Soap you will stay in contact, if you like those people enough. However, he will do what he can to have you get along with Gaz and Ghost, Price potentially as well. You will likely be in contact with them, and you will get along with them, whether you like it or not. They’re important people to him, so he hopes you can like them as well. Considering how highly Soap speaks of you, it’s impossible for the other three to not like you, so that ground has already been laid.

[astrok1dz]

EJJEEKRKKR RARARA SO LIKE I JUST FOUND UR ACCOUNG AND IM INLOVE WITH THE WAY YOU WRITE FOR DOE,

Can I get a doe x schizo reader who has a breakdown everytime they hallucinate something:33

A/n: y’all make me smile sm with your silly lil requests ily all

by the way, i am not schizophrenic, so i apologise for being very generic about it in this fic, but i don’t want to get things wrong or stereotypical, so the reader will experience auditory hallucinations

John Doe with a schizophrenic S/O!

He didn’t know what it meant

You see things? Shadows? People that are not there? Bugs? Whatever you hallucinate? Oh no it’s normal, you’re living in Uncanny Valley after all!

“I see those things all the time too!”

You had to sit him down and have a long talk with him.

Tell him how before you moved to Uncanny Valley you’d still see and hear these things that weren’t there in reality.

Poor boy doesn’t understand anything, but he’s trying his best.

After showing him some more visual simulations you found on the internet (and explaining how hallucinations are different for each person) he could grasp the concept of it enough to try and help you

“SHIT MY MEDS-”

“Oh, I bought more yesterday!”

“What.”

“What? :3”

He makes sure you never run out of your meds, so, since he’s got quite nothing to do (apart from adoring you, of course), he makes sure to buy more one day before they run out, so you’re never lacking them!

He’s also your personal reminder to take them.

“Darling, did you take your meds yet?” - Doe’s just standing there with the pills in one hand and your favorite drink in the other. He doesn’t care if you take them dry, he wants to at least cheer you up.

He’ll also do more research while you’re at work, looking into side effects for your meds, just in case. Will also look for therapists, psychiatrists, and anything that might help you.

This guy’s moto is “It’s the least I can do!”

One day you come home from work, where you had already struggled enough. At least your home is a safe place, and today couldn’t get any worse anyway. Unfortunately, you were wrong about that.

You started hallucinating, hearing voices un hushed whispers. They didn’t necessarily say bad things, but it was just too much noise to handle. Like you couldn’t even hear your own thoughts or distinguish them. Torture.

“Love!”

Along came John, smiling all giddy, ecstatic about you being home, already wrapping his arms around you.

You bumped your head repeatedly against his shoulder, covering your ears, and he immediately understood, having you stop the harming action you inflicted upon yourself and holding you gently.

“What’s wrong? What are you seeing?”

“I’m not really seeing anything right now, but there’s too much going on and too much noise and-”, you explained, hyperventilating and tearing up as you did.

He didn’t exactly get the hang on how to help you, but Doe tried his best to ground you. He went to the kitchen and came back with some ice, making you hold it to ground yourself.

“I read online that this could help, since it’s so cold it distracts you.”

You weren’t quite sure if it would work, but the fact that he looked this up just to help you already made you feel a little better.

Prepare for an afternoon where he’ll be basically your servant, ordering your favorite food and drink, putting on your comfort shows, cuddling you, painting your nails, and hugging you as he hums little tunes so you can try and listen to him instead of all the voices in your head.

Doe was better for you than any of the meds you take.

Ps: (You made sure to tell him so).

[butchdykeorpheus]

writing a meta post about taissa turner and taissa/van and taissa/simone that other people have probably talked about more intelligently than i have but i have Yellowjackets Disease (mental illness) (incurable) and i need to exorcise this from my brain. i just spent 15m pacing the room writing this out in my head. i'm obsessed with her. anyway

taissa turner THE lesbian icon i love her SO much and i can't stop thinking about her fractured selves. we already see from s2 previews and the shots of taissa and her out-of-sync reflection that this is only going to become more extreme as s2 goes on but right from early season 1 taissa is constantly at war with herself in a very extreme way and reconciling these two sides of herself is going to be a major part of her arc

s1 flashbacks to taissa's childhood in the 80s show us that she was traumatised from a pretty young age by witnessing her deeply religious grandmother being tormented by horrific visions of the "eyeless man", and i think you can draw a direct line between that and taissa's personality and attitudes in 1996: teenage taissa is a relentless type A personality, unyieldingly ambitious and Always In Control. not only that, but it's notable that she is the most vocally sceptical of all the yellowjackets when it comes to the superstitions and beliefs the other girls (spearheaded by lottie, who quickly seems to be becoming tai's biggest rival at the cabin) are developing about the wilderness. for taissa, there's always a logical explanation. there HAS to be. and she HAS to take the lead and guide the others by example through the entire harrowing experience, to be The Strong One (i'm sure there's also connection there between that and the stereotype of the Strong Black Woman but i'm not in a position to make that point in any eloquent way)

of course, taissa is terrified. and on some level, she too can't help but wonder if there's Something Else Out There With Them. but acknowledging any of that isn't an option for her, except in extreme circumstances (when van is in mortal danger). she especially cannot acknowledge any shred of doubt, of belief, around whatever might be out there in the woods. around what lottie and her burgeoning cult believe in

i think taissa is painfully aware - and deathly afraid - of what her grandmother saw, and that it might be hereditary. taissa knows that her family has a history of mental illness and that on some level she's also vulnerable to that. so: she can't ever acknowledge that something may be happening in the wilderness that she cannot comprehend or understand. taissa needs to believe in facts, logic, what she can see and feel. taissa cannot believe in "bad feelings", spirits, or ghosts. to open herself up to that for even a second would risk inviting in that thing that tormented her grandmother

so she quashes that part of herself aggressively, crushes it down and shoves it into a corner in the back of her brain. her stress, her fear, her doubt. but of course it doesn't work like that. you can't just lock your emotional and mental issues in a box in your mind and expect that to work. in her desperation to stay In Control, she's fractured herself, and that repressed terror and stress has no choice but to manifest in her sleep: sleepwalking, pica, hallucinations

it's so significant that in 2x02 this week we explicitly saw taissa, whilst sleepwalking, following the same eyeless man seen by her grandmother, almost to her death. regardless of whether or not he's an actual supernatural entity (and so far i really like the way yellowjackets maintains that ambiguity, and i hope they keep it that way), he represents taissa's terror of that hereditary "frailty", that it is inevitable, that it will destroy her

we already know that adult taissa also sees the eyeless man, among other hallucinations. adult tai is very much like her teenage self, only worse after years and years of repressing her teenage trauma, to the point where on some level she seems to believe in the same ritualistic practices she actively scoffed at when she was younger (at least enough to commit ritualistic animal sacrifice in her fucking sleep) - again, the fracturing of her self growing increasingly severe. the fact that during her press conference in s1 she sees the eyeless man lurking at the edge of the crowd and barely even skips a beat, that she continues to smile and deliver her political speech as if he isn't there - as if she's used to ignoring his lurking - shows how tenuous her grip on total control is becoming the harder she clings. but this is how taissa has always coped, right from her youth: You Get On With It. we clearly see her dismissive attitude towards mental health support and psychologists when discussing sammy; when simone is (rightfully so!) concerned about sammy's loneliness and stress, taissa doesn't see an issue, or at least doesn't want to acknowledge one. she's been lonely and high strung for a very long time - this is normal for her! and look at taissa. she's doing just fine!!! 🙃

only in her vulnerable moment with shauna, one of the few people in the world who can understand, does she admit that she feels like she's going through the motions of normality: that despite doing everything she'd planned (going to college, dating a lot of beautiful women, becoming a lawyer) as if her stint in the wilderness were only a minor speedbump in the road of her life, sometimes it "still doesn't feel real"

this is also where tai and shauna's conversation about feeling "it" happens, and where van and simone come in. despite how i think some people have interpreted that conversation, taissa clearly really loves simone. "it" is young reckless love, that wild, whirlwind, all-consuming teenage attraction (not even necessarily love - i really do not think shauna felt any deep love for adam - but this isn't a shauna post lol). "it" is the love tai shared with van. what she has with simone is a different, more mature and settled kind of love you feel after years and years of building a comfortable life with someone. it doesn't make her feel "it", the butterflies-in-your-stomach, the excitement. but it provides stability, comfort, and that's not inherently lesser. for taissa, it's definitely "safer". the issue here, and what i think is going to become a key theme of the relationship between adult taissa and adult van, is that taissa's relationships with simone and van speak to different sides of her fractured self

tai's relationship with simone is normalcy and stability - she's the Very Deeply Normal Life that adult taissa is living in the start of season 1, the flourishing career in law and politics, the wife and kid and dog and the picket fence. simone is a well-adjusted, grounding, dependable presence in taissa's life. even now - with their relationship on the rocks and simone needing to prioritise the safety of their young son (which! understandable!! taissa put a severed dog head in their basement!!!) - simone wants taissa to get help so she can be a part of sammy's life, and she's been trying to get through to taissa and convince her to seek help since season 1. it can be easy to see simone's current attitude towards taissa as harsh, and i've seen people compare simone's fear of taissa's issues unfavourably with van's acceptance of taissa's strange sleepwalking behaviour, but a) the stakes are different (again, they have a young son to think of), b) simone presented her ultimatum (seek help and quit politics or i cannot let you near our son) specifically after seeing taissa's mental health deteriorate from the stress of her political ambitions and multiple times encouraging taissa to please i am begging you see a therapist, and c) as far as we know teenage taissa has yet to, like, commit any ritualistic animal murders in her sleep lmao. that said, there's a part of taissa that simone simply Cannot Truly Understand, and taissa clearly doesn't want her to

tai's relationship with van on the other hand represents not only that intense teenage love, but the wilder, more unpredictable side of taissa that's inextricably tied to her teenage trauma. taissa and van have a very real love in spite of the horrific circumstances they've landed in and van can understand that wild, traumatised side of taissa's self in a way that a well-adjusted person like simone never can, because van survived the wilderness too. but that also makes her dangerous for taissa's very delicate psychological balancing act. around van, taissa can't maintain the veneer of normalcy and stability she managed to maintain - van sees right through that bullshit, she was there, taissa can't lie to her. we haven't seen adult van yet so it's not clear exactly what their adult dynamic will be or how exactly van has been impacted by the wilderness in the long term, but teen van, at least, has one foot in lottie's camp: she believes in the "bullshit" taissa refuses to consciously consider and is trying to convince taissa to believe in lottie too, and we already know how that is going to turn out for them. van is providing all the emotional support she can and trying so hard to protect taissa in the wilderness, even willing to tie herself to taissa while they sleep at the risk of injury to keep her safe, but she's also tempting taissa towards the other, unthinkable extreme: accepting that there are things out there in the wilderness that tai can't understand and therefore can't control; submitting herself to lottie's brand of spiritualism. if i have to guess, i think the biggest reason that adult taissa is no longer with adult van is that they'll always have the wilderness, and the actions one or both of them committed as part of lottie's cult, between them, and taissa couldn't cope with that. and i'm assuming adult van is likely still dealing with mental health issues of her own, so taissa can't necessarily lean on van for stability the way she wants to

ultimately neither of these extremes are entirely healthy for taissa. she can't pretend that nothing is happening and expect to have a totally normal, controlled life, anymore than she can allow herself to fully lose control and embrace lottie's style of cultic practice or be tormented like her grandmother. tl;dr Get This Bich A Therapist but also she'll need to reconcile both sides of herself and accept that there are some things she cannot control if she ever hopes to have the stable life she wants. and based on the trajectory of this show i think taissa's general mental state is going to get far, far worse before it gets better

i know some people are apprehensive about a van/tai/simone love triangle or drama but honestly as long as no one here is vilified i think it could be REALLY interesting. the issue isn't even specifically van or simone - simone truly wants to reach out to taissa and get her help and make their family work, and most likely tai and van could have a stable relationship if both are willing to seek help and talk about their history and what they're struggling with - but rather the way taissa interacts with them and her inability to accept in a healthy way the parts of herself that aren't fully in control

anyway i spent way too long writing this and probably still misspoke or missed something. my point is that if taissa turner has a million fans i am one of them. if taissa turner has ten fans i am one of them. if taissa turner has one fan then i am that one. if -

[stevensaus]

If you don't read anything else before watching the film, you should be aware that The Voices should have trigger warnings for mental illness, violence against women, and suicide. It's listed as a "horror comedy" most places, but it is very, VERY dark. Low on the gore and jump scares, it is a fantastically disturbing psychological horror movie. I reviewed Caroline Klepnes' novel You nearly ten years ago, and the book's horror has stuck with me for quite some time. 1 If you're unfamiliar, the book follows Joe, a bookseller, who meets an aspiring writer who goes by Beck, and falls obsessively for her. Obsessively. In the first chapter, Joe is a mostly relateable guy, who is totally smitten by Beck… and then he naturally (for him) moves straight to sitting on the stoop across from Beck’s apartment and stalking her. Joe is not a normal or well guy… but so many of the feelings and thoughts he has are normal for someone just falling in love, just turned up a little too high.  That’s where I’m reminded (particularly) of the film Goodfellas. Every time I’d start to empathize with Ray Liotta’s character, there’d be something to remind me that this guy was A Bad Man. Kepnes pulls this trick off well throughout most of _You_, and even when Joe goes totally off the rails, it’s very very easy to still understand how he got there in a way that reminds me of the best bits of Red Dragon. I've always thought about it as horror rather than a thriller because of that relateability. The horror comes from the realization that, with just a few tweaks here and there, a few different assumptions about the world, a slight change in brain chemistry, and an utterly horrific course of actions could somehow seem reasonable. The Voices also fits this brief. Ryan Reynolds performs exquisitely in this film as an unreliable narrator who has schizoid-like hallucinations due to his unspecified mental illness. But instead of just portraying an inaccurate stereotype of the "bad" mentally ill person, the film and Reynolds strive -- and largely succeed -- at portraying the tragic, humorous, horror of the situation. From my understanding (not a doctor!), The Voices portrays the experience of having the kinds of hallucinations associated with schizophrenia rather accurately, reminding me at times of the Second Life Virtual Hallucination exhibit. (You can see video of the exhibit here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qudbsyJvkX8) Reynold's character, Jerry, is not that different from most people. He has a regular job. He has an office crush. He's socially awkward. He loves his pets. And he does the best he can with reality -- as he understands it -- just like everyone else. The horror -- and humor -- of the film are in how mundane so many aspects of Jerry's life are. How close Jerry's life is to our everyday lives, thoughts, and desires. How things can just go so horribly wrong in a deeply dark comedy of errors that spirals into horror and tragedy. This film is deeply disturbing and horrific in the way that Klepnes' You is. Not by resorting to revulsion, not through jump scares, but by showing how, with just a few small tweaks, something horrible can appear to make perfect sense. Trigger warnings for mental illness, violence against women, and suicide. As of this writing you can watch The Voices on several platforms (including ad-supported ones). 1 I've not watched the TV adaptation. https://ideatrash.net/2024/08/the-voices-a-decade-old-horror-flick-starring-ryan-reynolds-you-should-watch-now.html?feed_id=284&_unique_id=66c87a10d29d7

[vernalloy]

I think the thing where the authors of these delusion! AUs are hitting my spine are that. They’re pulling from media portrayals rather than. Actually reasoning through or even researching what it’d be like.

So tips fur writing delusions! I’m going to make a lot of generalizations here, some people can’t double bookkeep, or don’t have positive ways of interacting with the delusion, or have short delusions, or respond positively to reality checks. I’m primarily pulling from my own experience here.

1. At least on the schizo-spectrum, the longer they last, the slower they come. Brief psychosis has a really short onset, schizophreniform has a shorter prodrome than schizophrenia/schizoaffective. Generally, delusions grow. They come together on nothing, but they take time to take root on equal or greater footing than reality.

2. Double bookkeeping! Exists! Even past this there’s just. If you knew something about the world that no one else did. That you knew they’d treat you violently for if you revealed it. You’d keep it under wraps. Keep your rituals subtle. Don’t talk about it.

3. They generally don’t vanish upon reason. They wax and wane and change, and rarely respond to logic past perhaps changing to accommodate or override new facts.

4. If you have a secret reality you have something to deal with it. A monster under the bed? Shove boxes under there. Feel everyone’s out to get you? Carry a bread knife (it sucks at stabbing) or keep your back only to walls. Feel you’re not human? Let it wash over you instead of insisting truth one way or the other.

Again, these masks often degrade as the illness runs its course. Delusions operate on dream logic, they’re flexible and like to spread.

Also pleasseeeeee acknowledge other symptoms than delusions + hallucinations when you write a psychotic character. Reading John Darnielle novels makes me jump for joy because his psychotic characters get thought blocking and fucked up cognition on top of hallucinations. In many cases they’re more significant than the positive symptoms! Alex’s affect is remarked upon more than his hallucinations.

Shrek voice they don’t even have repetitive self soothing movements in their psychotic characters

Keysmash. I don’t know how to articulate this last part but there are a lot of times where. It feels like psychotic characters can present in exactly three ways: the obvious psycho killer, and then in more sympathetic contexts: no illogic or heck even symptoms past hallucinations, or an unstable baby with no autonomy. And it feels. Like these arise from a gap the author sees between them and psychotics. And when writing anything other than a violent stereotype, they have a tendency to overshoot and leave out any unsympathetic symptoms. Like they try to write a neurotypical who hallucinates.

Which is frustrating because a lot of these authors have adhd/autism and the two share plenty in outward presentation with psychosis. We all have executive dysfunction and inappropriate affect and shit memory and poor audio regulation and hey you know what? Psychotic disorders are comorbid with autism & adhd! Because psychosis is understood to arise primarily from a combination of genetics and stress! And you know what causes stress? Being neurodivergent!!!

Idk id just like that when I open up AO3 I’m not hit with a wall of people who did next to no research when they wanted to write their angst fics about my sicko mind.

[tothepointofinsanity]

If I may, have you ever heard or played the game Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice? Since it has heavy themes on mental health and psychosis in particular, I was wondering how you, someone with schizophrenia, thought of the game, or at least the concept. Not that you need to be interested in it, of course, I just found it fascinating myself.

Anyway, your art is so cool and subversive. It really fits the theme and tone of madoka, especially sayaka.

Ah, thank you for the detailed ask ^^.

Firstly, I think I should clarify that I am [not] an individual who experiences schizophrenia nor psychosis. The “schizo-” term I throw around so often refers to the cluster of personality disorders that I do experience/have. This chart is an oversimplified example of Cluster A personality disorders, which is known as the “eccentric and odd” group. These symptoms can go way beyond just the ones listed below given everyone has their own unique experiences to begin with. They also do not necessarily always manifest as a prerequisite or side to schizophrenia, but they can intersect. It’s hard to find more diagrams for Cluster A that aren’t immediately slotted in with the other clusters because of how idiosyncratic they are, in a sense.

Essentially, what all this means is that I do not experience the positive symptoms of schizophrenia (such as hallucinations) on a basis that can be considered obstructive and result in a dysfunctional interaction between me and Reality. However, the disorder is of the Self, and instead poses hindrance to how I perceive and engage with people living in Reality. Energy is spent preserving yourself and 95% of your time is spent daydreaming and crafting intricate fantasies. Self fulfilment feels like a bottomless need and priority [to me anyways, since other schizoids have other values]. Both negative and positive symptoms impair facets of the individual’s life, most notably socially and interpersonally.

Just wanted to put this out there since it means I cannot provide a valid comment on how the game’s personally shows psychosis. Because I do not have it. Apologies for the confusion and ramble on my end as well as possibly explaining something you might already know.

However, from an academic standpoint, I had looked into the game, and apparently the developers worked alongside neuroscientists, mental health practitioners and even real people with the condition to ensure accuracy of portrayal, which is appreciated. Too many companies tend to consult only professionals on these topics instead of, well, people who live with these conditions. The end product is always different when you actually talk to people with it, and based on the clips I watched, there is definitely good research devoted into its craft. The times where Senua struggles with the darkness and has her thoughts scrambled all over the place while voices instruct her to do things seems to be the hallmark of this. She also appears to undergo dissociative states, which is something I do not often see in games; that realistic overlap of symptoms that aren’t just, “oh my God the voices!” Ah. That’s cool, to see more games put effort in such time into researching psychological topics and issues instead of building it sloppily on stereotypes. I like it, and I have read comments of how the game’s portrayal of Senua’s mental health resonates with a handful of people. If people can find comfort in it, I would not have anything to complain anyways.

Hellblade reminds me of another game with a similar premise. Have you heard of Cry of Fear? If you enjoy games that are more psychological, CoF is an appropriate contender. More games about mental health struggles are always neat since they tend to be founded on different mechanics and playing experiences.

And thank you for the kind words about my art works! Sayaka is my favourite character, and I struggled a lot with trying to draw her at the start as well as finding a suitable art style. I’m glad a lot of people end up liking it. 🙇‍♂️

[redd956]

CW: Redd ranting about psychology frustrations

Thinking about swapping my art minor into a psychology minor (I already completed the starter classes in high school), but self diagnosis culture already gets my blood pressure up and I don’t anymore of a reason to hate it.

I see the same damn arguments defending it, which is wild alone, and it irks me even more as someone who grew up so dirt poor. People need to learn that: their symptoms ARE valid and that the self diagnosis ISN’T.

There is a reason as to why you require a medical professional and lots of work to get a diagnosis. Yes there are bad psychiatrist, doctors, everything out there. Yes the American healthcare system is from the bottom level of hell. Yes the DSM-5 is a fucking mess and needs an entire revamp for so many reasons.

None of that means self diagnosing is going to help you in any way. Your symptoms are valid, if assurance and validity is what you’re looking for. Seeing shit? Don’t presume you have schizophrenia. It could be schizo-affective disorder, hypnogenic hallucinations, PTSD, a bad blunt whatever, it could even be a physical ailment. You seeing shit is valid though. It is a terrifying and valid experience, and looking into that and doing research can really help you.

Looking into particular disorders and stuff can also help you, as it can guide you into the future were you might want to take a diagnosis or tackle a symptom if you see fit.

Going I most definitely have this leads to stereotyping, misinformation, difficulty for treatment for those that the disorder, increases ableism against those diagnosed, doctors and medical workers becoming skeptical, ruining and invading on the culture of those actually with the disorder (I primarily see this with ASPD), making difficult in the future to continue research on mental health.

Of course its all a different story if its a disorder that is so blatantly obvious no one can ignore it. You should be mad at the United States healthcare system and not people against self diagnosis if you are unable to reach or afford proper mental healthcare or good doctors.

I myself am struggling with my current one, because they focusing on symptom for too long, and not what I want to look into. It happens. I’ve had bad primary care physicians too but I’m not going to go home and diagnose my physical ailments.

Not to mention how deadly it is. If you self diagnose and then go to a doctor and they roll with it, you could get treatment for something you don’t have and that can really really really mess you up. You also could be consuming the treatment products of a disorder you don’t have, that other people need. The United States runs out of healthcare stuff a lot, and you’d be surprised that it’s mostly because trends have caused people to bullrush particular medical products.

It invalidatess and makes the jobs more difficult for the good doctors actually out there, and people looking to become doctors. 

YOUR SYMPTOMS ARE VALID

YOUR DIAGNOSIS COULD NOT BE

Anyway I’m done ranting, because again it gets my blood pressure up.

[wahlpaper]

Queer Identity and Autism in The Deep

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

CW: Animal Death, Attempted Suicide, Grief, War, Hallucinations, Past Slavery, Man-Made Climate Threats, Self-harm, Trauma, Ableism, Racism, Drowning, Ritualistic Fasting and Binging, Described Overstimulation

5/5

The story behind River Solomon's The Deep is just as cool as the novella they wrote. Daveed Diggs, who lent his voice to the audiobook as narrator, described it as a game of telephone. This story has been told in several forms by several people, each retelling a little different. He described this as a feature of the game and not a failing. As cool as the backstory is, there is nothing to it that I can add. Because of that, this post is mostly an editorial, small part review. I'll be focusing on queer and autistic representation in the book. To fill the gap, I strongly encourage you all to listen to the audiobook to get the full experience (especially the afterward), to listen to clipping.'s song "The Deep", and to seek outside information on the story.

The Deep tells the tale of underwater creatures similar to merfolk, primarily Yetu, their historian. These creatures, the "wajinru", are the descendants of pregnant slaves that were thrown overboard. Over time they have decided that their history is too treacherous to dwell on. Once a year they share the memories of their past before passing them back to the historian. This is called "The Remembrance". It is the historian's job or burden to remember the rest of the time and to collect as many memories as they can. It is immediately evident to me, an autistic person, that Yetu is autistic as well. She easily gets lost in the memories she carries and she does not handle sensory experiences well. As deep-sea dwellers, the wajinru communicate through sonar and touch. The Remembrance is particularly intense as the memories are incredibly immersive.

Solomon, one of my favorites, is an autistic author. Although Yetu is never explicitly labeled as autistic in the novella, she absolutely is. It is not something the characters have a word for, but even before taking on the role of historian, she was different from her community. While she was picked as the successor due to her heightened ability to receive sensory input, her ability to handle it was not considered. Ultimately, The Deep is a story about a community learning not only how to face their past, but to accommodate an autistic member of their community who learns how to set boundaries. I will not spoil how, but I promise the book ends in a healthy way.

I appreciate the way Solomon approaches autism for their characters. Both Yetu and the main character of An Unkindness of Ghosts are never specifically labeled as autistic, but very clearly are. Allister people and Neurotypical folks tend to misunderstand what autism is, drawing from stereotypes portrayed in films like Forrest Gump and perpetuated by Autism Speaks. This is a narrow and negative view that doesn't focus much on autistic adults or at all on autistic people that were socialized as women. Solomon doesn't shy away from proper representation. Each autistic person has their own mix of traits and experiences with those traits. Solomon especially focuses on heightened senses, hyperfixation, being nonverbal, and thinking in ways that are different from others. One thing that these characters are not is unintelligent, as that is not what autism is. I hope to see more accurate representation of autism in literature and elsewhere! I desire for more characters like me.

The queer content does not surface until very far into the book. At one point in the story, Yetu ends up meeting some two-legged land folks. One is Oori, someone who Yetu believes is autistic. Because of their similarities, Yetu and Oori start to bond and gain feelings for each other. Oori has lost her home and her family. Because of this, she does not easily bond with others. She does kind things for the people she knows, but not with the desire to be close to them. Yetu is different, worth getting to know. The two discuss their experiences as wajinru and human. One such topic is genitalia. The wajinru are very open to differences in gender and attraction. They all have both forms of genitalia, but some identity as women, men, both, neither, and in between. Polyamory is also quite common for them. Fantasy stories should not be afraid to ditch queer-phobia. If you can create any world you want, why would you want to keep that?

If you enjoy mermaids, Afrofuturism, positive autistic representation, or Solomon's storytelling, you should absolutely read The Deep. The experience of reading this novella is enhanced by consuming it in audiobook format, so please consider choosing that over print. As it is a novella, it won't take much of your time, but every line is worth it! Thank you Solomon for another wonderful story.

[baggedthumper]

Really annoying tangent coming up bc I'm a righteous cunt sorry yall

Creepypasta is my special interest okay yes I hold it near and dear to my heart yes I would have died without it when I was twelve and Creepypasta fans r going to attack me for this but also ticci toby's story is disabled kid gets bullied and isolates himself disabled kid gets abused and becomes super edgy disabled kid experiences something traumatic and comes out of it a harmful stereotype yippee!!!

THIS is why AUs and fanfiction are so so important. Toby has evolved so much past edgy anime boy with a tragic backstory and also who is violent bc he hallucinates violent imagery!!! Now dependent on the au he's a sarcastic runt who has no self preservation skills and also is one of the girlies 💅 (he's healing)

I don't know. I adore some good grotty horror. My own manuscript talks about a neurodivergent woman who is isolated and becomes attention seeking and slowly finds comfort in obsessing over the only person who is nice to her, it also mentions the backstory of a specific character who as a child sat at the king's feet and ate their own sister's honeyed skin.

I love edgy bullshit because it's near and dear to my heart, but I find the AUs and the rewrites important because it's a common theme in all creepypastas that mental health = dangerous and we all know that's wrong. So I appreciate everyone who goes out of their way to write fucked up characters who experience fucked up things but don't become "evil" because of their mental health. Who are "evil" but the reason for that is revenge or plain old fun not just I have bad thoughts and they make me want to hurt people!!!!!!!!!

"It was a different time" in Jordan Persegati's version of Clockwork, Natalie stops herself from self harming by saying people who do that are weak and she's "strong, unlike the others." Also that time was less than fifteen years ago.

[schizopositivity]

would it be offensive for me to play a character who hallucinates if I do not hallucinate myself?

I plan to do my proper research into it! I'm not gonna go head first into a topic I know nothing of, but I was wondering if it'd just be offensive if I did it in general

well i think i have a few questions that i would appreciate you writing back and answering

who wrote the material you are acting off of? was it someone with experience or someone who wrote their own narrative with no experience? also acting for what? will other people see this? will you be making money off of this?

i think this is a complex topic, i know that acting by definition is pretending to be someone/something you are not. and i dont think every actor who has no experience in a subject cant act out that subject. but its difficult when it comes to hallucinations/psychosis because almost all content we have depicting it is written by people with no experience, acted by people with no experience and making money for people with no experience. and so often these portray harmful stereotypes and contributes to the stigma around hallucinations/psychosis. its not like people with hallucinations cant write or act their own stories, we are just constantly overshadowed and told our aspirations are delusions.

also please have your research include personal stories from people with hallucinations and not just what other people say about us. you can go to the SBSK youtube channel and type "schizophrenia" and youll find a few good videos of people talking about hallucinations, you can go to the Inside Schizophrenia podcast and listen to their episode about psychosis. you can dm me and ask me specific questions. cause just googling stuff will lead you to drs and scholars theorizing about hallucinations and not from experience.

[writernopal]

Happy WBW!! Are there any cultural misconceptions, stereotypes etc. about magic in your world? For example stereotypes about people who do magic or certain kind of magic? Or some unrelated trait is associated with magic? Or it's believed that something is not possible to do with magic, even though it is? Or something else?

Happy WBW! I love questions about magic in AASOAF, I feel like I don't get to talk about it enough, but that might be on me 😅

Magic exists in all things and people in Oepus, so it's definitely the unspoken undercurrent to daily life. Even people who believe they are not magical have magic abilities, albeit weak ones, and that's where we start getting into a bit of trouble.

There is this general misunderstanding surrounding those who are born with low magic bases as being more or less insane. You see, when you have a low magic base and you experience magic bursts (either externally or internally), it can feel like you've just gotten goosebumps or that someone is watching you. In some cases, this can cause hallucinations, both visual and auditory. There are certainly some magics that can have these effects on those they are used against, but in the case of individuals with a low base, it's simply that their conducting abilities are not developed enough to disperse or absorb it.

As you might imagine, places with high magic concentrations will see higher rates of these afflicted populations and will typically be branded as hexed with black magic. Why black magic? Because black magic eats away at the body, much like frostbite would when it is relied upon for too long, and results in the same thing when someone is subjected to it for an extended period of time. So it is believed that the reason those people exhibit insanity is because black magic is eating away at their minds. Such a thing is seen as incurable, and the afflicted people are usually abandoned by their loved ones as a result because they truly believe nothing can be done to save them 😢