#in the end he loves alina and trusts her and wants the best for her vs the darkling who wants to control her

[arson-09]

Im so tired of young protags (16-19) getting with or being shipped with technically older guys. Like withy rhys, tamlin, and feyre the fae technically age slower but its still a bit sus (maybe im biased but feylin is still my preferred ship if we gonna ship it) But with Alina and people shipping her with the darkling who is 500+ years old, like he aged normally, i get sooooo grossed out like. Alina is a girl! idgaf if you find mal annoying or boring (tasteless fools mal is great) but shipping a 18-19 year old girl with a man centuries older than her who ABUSES AND MANIPULATES HER is gross and i need yall to stop and think for five fucking seconds

[bookuce]

Change My Mind

SUMMARY: Josh and Alina are great friends most days. Other days, they want to tear each other apart. Some days, they’re in love with each other, but neither of them will admit it. 

*DISCLAIMER: This is a multi-part series. I do not own any of the characters in the writing except for the OC. The book uses actual names of wrestlers. Josh is Jey, Jon is Jimmy, Trinity is Naomi, and Alina is Alina. The book is not realistic and does not take place during real events, but some actual events (matches, storylines) could pop up in the story eventually. I DO NOT GIVE ANYONE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE OR REPOST MY WRITINGS ANYWHERE. THAAAAAANKS. *

PAIRING: Jey Uso x Black OC

TROPE: Friends to Lovers

WARNINGS: Language

WORD COUNT: 2.5K

PART EIGHT

PART NINE

The drive to Pensacola was quiet for Josh. Alina is curled into the passenger seat, fast asleep. It didn’t take long for the sleep-deprived woman to succumb to her body’s pleas for rest. She was out the moment the seat went back. Alina clasped her phone tightly in her right hand and pressed it against her chest. She was expecting a text or a phone call from her best friend, one that would not come. Josh would glance over at her sleeping frame several times, contemplating prying that phone from her hand. All it was doing was putting her in a bad headspace. 

She needed a distraction from that drama, and he planned to do just that—starting with a double date with Jon and Trin tonight. He had alerted the couple to their plans to be in the city just as they were leaving Atlanta. Trinity instantly started brainstorming things to do and sent him an itinerary for the evening. They were now three minutes from his home--the time reading 4:48 PM. 

The music that was playing softly on the radio came to a stop, suddenly being replaced with the ringing of Josh's phone. He peers down at the radio screen, reading his Mother's name. He smiles softly to himself, pressing the answer button on the steering wheel. "Yeah?" He answers. 

"Hi, son." Talisua pipes. "How are you?" She asks. Alina stirs at the sound of Josh's mother's voice coming through the car's speakers. Josh glances over at her, watching as she relaxes once more. Not once did she wake up.

"Never better." He replies. "You good?"

"I'm fine. I won't keep you long, though, because I know you're driving," Talisua starts. "Are you free tomorrow evening for family dinner?" It was rare for all of her sons to be in the same city at the same time, and she liked cooking for them when they were. 

"Yes, ma'am," He answers, "Ay, I got someone for y'all to meet too." He informs her. 

"Oh?" She says, surprised. "Another mouth to feed? O'u aso, be still my beating heart. I cannot wait to meet her! Her, right? Not a kid?" She asks, causing him to laugh. 

"You'd know if it was a kid, I promise." He assures her. Talisua squeals softly from the other side of the phone. Her son having a girlfriend was big news--big, big news. She had to break out the good plates for this one, but he doesn't need to know. She has waited for that man to find a lady he liked for a few years. Each time she asked him about one, he'd shrug the question off, mumbling something about not being interested in anyone. If he's bringing her to dinner, it has to be serious. It has to be. 

"I trust you. Six o'clock tomorrow night, Joshua. No later." She says sternly. "I love you."

"I love you too." He replies, ending the call immediately after. The car fills with soft music again. Josh takes a deep breath, letting his right hand run over his face as he does so. Now, he had that to worry about. He didn't worry much about his mom liking Alina--no, he knew they would get along just fine. It was his Dad he worried about. He was always very...opinionated about his and his brothers' dating preferences. If he gave Jon and Sefa a hard time, he would definitely give him one. 

After a few more moments on this winding road, Josh pulls into the driveway of his home. He leans forward against the steering wheel, peering up at the large house he's practically abandoned. He's lived here five years, the longest he's stayed anywhere, and now he was willing to give it all up for the woman in the passenger seat. 

Josh turns his attention to Alina, his hand reaching for her hip. He shakes her gently. "Baby," He says, leaning towards her slightly. She draws in a breath, a groan coming from her semi-conscious frame. "We made it." He informs her. Her heavy breathing quietens, a sign she is waking up. 

"Hm?" She hums. 

"I said we made it." He rubs over her hip gently, making sure to keep her awake. She lets out a sigh before moving to sit up in her seat. She sits there momentarily with her eyes shut before turning on her phone screen to read notifications. Josh would suck his teeth at her before reaching over to snatch her phone. Alina looks up at him, her eyes widening at him."Nah, bruh, you been glued to that damn phone all day. I want you here with me, not in this." He says, waving the phone at her. Josh slips the phone into his pocket before climbing out of the car. 

He hated to be that kind of man, but this was getting out of hand. Alina watched Josh walk around the car, her mouth slightly agape at the man. Though she knew he had taken her phone for a good reason, she was still shocked he did it. He opens her door, gesturing for her to get out. She slowly climbed out of the car, her eyes locking with his as she passed by. The glare she shot him would earn her a smack of his lips and a shrug.

"And?" He says, returning her attitude. "Here," He says, passing her his house keys. "I'll get our stuff. Jon and Trin will be by soon. We got plans." He moves around her to the backdoor. "And don't lock me out of the house either. You got that shit bad." He says while reaching for their suitcases. No response comes from Alina as she makes her way towards the front door. Josh placed the two heavy suitcases on the pavement and wheeled them up the driveway. 

Alina quickly unlocks the front door to his home, leaving the door open wide for him as she walks in. In all the two years she had known Josh, she had only been to his home twice. The company rarely passed through Pensacola, and because of that, Josh seldom ever came home--well, that and the fact that he practically moved in with Alina. 

Josh entered his home, a sigh leaving his lips as cool air greets him to relieve him of the humid summer air outdoors. His eyes scanned the small foyer he stood in. Nothing had changed since the last time he was here. It was just as he left it last."Home sweet home." He mutters to himself, pushing the suitcases up against the wall near the staircase. He makes his way towards the living room, glancing up the stairs as he does so. "Baby." He calls.

"In here." She responds, her voice pulling him to the living room. There, in the center of the room, stood Alina. Her arms are folded across her chest as she peered into the backyard. She was deep in thought. The drama of the night before had her stuck and unable to process it. Whereas she was stressing about the state of her friendship with Tasha, Josh was actively trying to pull her mind away from it. 

"What's out there?" He asks, approaching her slowly. She slowly shakes her head, silently answering the man behind her. Josh steps in front of her, drawing her gaze from his chest and up to his eyes. Despite the almost five-hour nap she took, Alina still looked tired. The natural dark circles that adorned her undereye seemed darker today. Perhaps it was from the lack of sleep. Or maybe from the crying. Or a combination of both. Josh takes her face between his large hands, his thumbs grazing her cheekbones. "Ay," He starts. "just give her time. She'll talk to you when she's ready." He reminds her. 

Alina closed her eyes, a sigh leaving her lips as she did so. "I know." She whispers. She opens her eyes slightly, peering at him through thick lashes. "I just feel bad." She reminds him.

"Ain't no reason to." He says quickly, shaking his head. "If anything, she should be mad at me. I'm the one that was fighting, not you. Hell, if I have to, I'll call her myself. I got your phone." He says, making her roll her eyes. 

"I'm going to need that back, by the way." She says, stepping back. "People need me." She whispers at him, tilting her chin up. Josh catches her hands, pulling her back into him. She giggles.

"Girl, I need you," Josh argues, lifting his eyebrows at her. "Got me out here competing with a damn phone for your attention." She laughs, her head dropping against his chest. "I don't see anything funny." He says, dropping her hands and wrapping her in an embrace. The smell of Josh's cologne filled her nose, making her relax in his arms. They'd stand there for several moments, enjoying the silence. 

Alina eventually wraps her arms lazily around his waist before lifting her head to look at her man again. He shifts his gaze down to her. "I love you." She whispers. The corners of his mouth would turn up slightly at her words. He doesn't say it back. Instead, he responds with a kiss. He leans in, pressing his lips softly to her own. His beard would tickle her skin like any other time they'd kiss. She responds to it, her fingers playing with the fabric on the back of the black tank top he wore. His hands, just as they did any other time he touched her, would begin to roam--He couldn't help it. He couldn't get enough of this lady in his arms. 

It always started tame with her, but the moment Josh gets handsy, all bets are off. His hands would curve over her backside, earning himself a hum from her. Her hands vanish beneath his shirt, traveling along his spine. They'd move around the front, now gliding down his abdomen. His stomach retracts at her cool hands against his warm skin. 

Suddenly, Josh lifts Alina into his arms, deepening the kiss as he does so. We have time, he thought as he moved them towards the couch. Carefully, he lowered her onto the sofa, settling between her legs as he did so. Alina reaches over his shoulders and pulls his shirt over his head. They'd break the kiss for a brief intermission. He snatches the shirt from her hands and tosses it to the side. They resume their passion-filled kiss, Alina's hands now being the ones roaming. His hips would grind against hers, creating a hard-to-ignore friction between the two. 

"Damn, y'all couldn't make it to the bedroom?" A voice says from behind them. The moment they were sharing would come to a screeching stop. Josh breaks the kiss and lifts his head. "Just getting freaky where the company sits?" Jon adds. 

"The doorbell broke, Uce?" Josh asks, now glancing over his shoulder. There was irritation in his voice at the disturbance his brother caused. For the first time, Jon would see the shiner Josh had. He stifles a laugh, his cheeks filling with air as he sputters and turns away. He finally lets out that loud laugh he was fighting before turning to face them again. Josh moves off of Alina, standing to retrieve his shirt. "Yeah, laugh it up." He mutters, putting his shirt on.

Jon brings a closed fist to his mouth, quickly hopping from left to right as he laughs. "Damn, he got your ass good!" He says, stopping to look at him. "He better look worse."

"Jon," Alina calls, sitting up on the sofa. The eldest twin pauses, his mouth slightly agape.

"You lost!?" He exclaims.

"The fuck I look like losing?" Josh shouts.

Trinity comes around the corner. "What are y'all in here being--. Oh my God!" She exclaims, at Josh's eye. Jon laughs again, his eyes squeezing shut at his wife's reaction. The younger twin sucks his teeth at them, turning to make his way back over to Alina. "Josh, you didn't!" She says.

"See, if you would've let me get on that flight, this wouldn't have happened," Jon says to Trinity. She begins to argue quietly with him. Josh would sit down next to Alina, his brows furrowed angrily at the pair. His eyes would shift from them to the floor. Alina grabs his hand and brings it to her lips. He turns his focus to her, his eyes scanning her face. He should've canceled their plans for tonight. She leans over and presses a quick kiss to his lips. 

"Boy, bye," Trinity says, turning her attention to Alina and Josh. "The Uber is three minutes down the road." She informs them. Alina leans forward to peer around Josh, her eyes finding Trinity. Josh never told her what they had planned for the evening. Based on the way Jon and Trin were dressed, it couldn't be something too fancy.

"Where are we going?" She asks.

"It's a surprise." Trin answers. Alina's eyes flicker down to Josh's, but he glances away. Strange. Alina looks between the two of them. 

"Okay..." She says slowly.

"It's gonna be fun, snookums, I promise," Trinity assures her. "Ain't that right, babe." She says, looking over her shoulder. Jon leans off the wall, nodding.

"Oh for sure!" He says, walking over to them. "We gonna have a few drinks, eat some good food, and have a good time." He says, backing up his wife. "Nobody getting they ass whooped tonight." He adds. 

"Really?" Trinity and Alina say in unison, looking up at Jon as they do so.  

"What? I'm just saying we're each other's backup. No twin or wife left behind, right, Uce? Big bruh here now." Jon says, holding his hand out towards Josh.

Josh's top lip curls in annoyance at his brother. He lifts his index finger, pointing it at the man. "Man, I can't stand your ass sometimes." He says. Jon bites his cheek, a poor attempt to suppress his smile. He turns away, making his way back over to the wall he was leaning on. On his way over, he slightly doubles over, letting out a shout. 

Trin looks at Josh, a sympathetic grin on her face. She leans in to grab his face, examining the bruise. "You are alright, right?" She asks.

"Yeah, I'm good, sis." He assures her. She steps back from him, glancing down at her cell phone. 

"Uber's here." She informs them, moving towards her husband. She grabs his hand, pulling him from the living room and out the front door. Josh and Alina remain seated for a few moments longer. 

Josh takes a deep breath and stands to his feet. "Well, honey," He starts. "We best get going." He finishes. Alina smiles at the sound of him calling her honey. It was quickly becoming her favorite term of endearment to hear from him. 

Alina moves around him, now pulling him towards the front door. "So," She breathes. "To be continued?" She asks, turning to face him. Her teeth sink into her bottom lip as she watches him. She's walking backward, leading them out of the house. He pulled the front door shut as he took in Alina's appearance. Even when she wasn't dressed to the nines, he looked at her like he could tear her apart where she stood. 

His eyes find hers again. "You crazy as hell if you think I wasn't spinning the block for your ass later."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Nothing to see here... I have no explanation for my absence, but this was highly demanded...well everything actually...er we working on that! Any guesses where the Fatus are off to? Also...looks like Lina's meeting the family tomorrow.

🏷️ list: @thesamoanqueen @whatdoeseverybodywant @headoftheetable @mzv11 @southerngirl41 @yana3sworld @wanderingreigns @wrestlingprincess80 @siriuslycee @vebner37 @astridxxxxxx @alichesmi @tshepisho @scarlettnoir01 @brokenglassslippers @reignsboy19 @sayyestoheav3nn @cyberdejos2 @empressdede @sisinever @truefant4sy @paigereeder @tbmotw @fearlesschimera @venusesworld @usoholic @sageispunk @bebesobrielo @jstarr86 @vibessonvibes @issahyland 

[heliads]

So, Before You Go Chapter One: First Call to Arms

Hellas is gone; so too is your life as a cartographer. You and the Darkling must quell Alina Starkov’s attempt at an uprising in order to protect the Grisha of Ravka. However, your gods are not as dead as they seem, and that which you have taken for granted will soon prove to be quite unpredictable indeed.

series masterlist / next

Once, a very long time ago, a girl named Psyche wielded beauty as her power. Envious, the gods foretold that she would be exiled with a monster as her husband. Psyche feared the monster, but soon she realized that he was not the demon others claimed. Still, as he only visited at night when the shadows hid him from her, she was tormented by the idea that he truly was horrific. One night, Psyche spied upon his face as he lay sleeping. She broke his trust, and they were separated until Psyche could prove that she did love him, and wanted no shelter but him until the end.

You wake slowly, painfully, aware of what could have been a dream slipping away from you. For several minutes, you cannot entirely tell if you are still asleep or awake. The air is warm, a breeze blows lazy circles of air across your face. Tell me, child, when was the last time you felt enough peace to trust it was not an illusion?

Someone shifts by your side, and one glimpse of your lover’s face is all you need to know that this is no dream. For all your nightmare’s best attempts, they cannot perfectly replicate his image. Perhaps it is because he is not of their kind, the man you love, but a monster of his own creation. Your people and your spells can only do so much. They cannot fully recreate something of the Small Science, something like him. You would know. Absence made you try.

Aleksander opens his eyes slowly, dark pupils scanning the room until they land on you. Every time he wakes, you can see him start to tense until he sees you again. That is what you get for running so many times, you suppose, it makes him too knowledgeable of how easy it is to lose you.

You were never able to stay away forever, though. The longest the two of you were apart was centuries, and although those cut like a poisoned blade, they ended. You made your way to the Little Palace under the guise of Y/N Stassov, First Army cartographer and good friend of Alina Starkov, and from there on out, you were under his watch again.

In all honesty, some part of you had known from the moment your paths crossed the second time that you would not be able to leave him again without revealing yourself. Sure, your face had changed since you were the Hecari he knew in the past, but he was Aleksander and you were Y/N and you would never allow anything to part you for long. He had made mistakes, and you had tricked yourself into thinking that anyone with as many centuries under your belts as either of you could be perfectly blameless, but you were still the same couple you had always been.

In the end, the result is plain. You showed your hand and the two of you reconciled. Sure, part of that may have had to do with Alina Starkov attempting to murder you whereas Aleksander saved your life, but sometimes love needs a slight bit of motivation to pick up the pace.

The two of you are on much more solid footing now, though. If anything, you will always be united in your wrath, your protective spirit. Aleksander watches out for his Grisha, his people, and you mourn your Hellenids, your kin who have already slipped beneath the sands of time. There is no one like the two of you, and there never will be. Alina can try, but she is young, foolish, full of hopes that have yet to die. Only you and Aleksander understand how time dulls any blade. Only you and Aleksander will ever be able to complete each other.

That does not stop this whole situation from feeling somewhat impossible. You spent centuries running from him, after all, and suddenly waking up in the morning to find him sleeping next to you feels unusual. Good, but unusual. It’s what you’ve secretly been missing since the very moment you left him, but still something you never thought you would experience again.

This change in your day-to-day life could explain why you woke up so disoriented, but in truth, you fear that it might be more than that. It has been getting more difficult to tell what is real and what is fiction. Reality blends into myth into memory. What happens here and now is only a slim shade of an idea when compared to the vastness of past experience, both yours and that of your people, the Hellenids.

You had assumed that the whispering of your ghosts would trickle off into ash and nothingness when the Shadow Fold engulfed you whole, but no. If anything, it just made it worse. You were hesitating on the banks of the River Styx, so close to crossing over into the Underworld, and then Aleksander pulled you back from death and kept you there. You cannot tread that closely to your end without bringing a little part of it back with you.

You are not the only changed one. Aleksander, too, is not the same man as he was when he set out on that sandskiff. As you look at him now, you watch the early light of dawn play on the dark slices in his face, the scars from his time in the Shadow Fold after Alina Starkov abandoned both of you to die.

It had taken every ounce of your combined abilities to make it out, but both of you are changed forever now. You cannot go a moment of your day without hearing the whispering of your ancestors increased tenfold. Aleksander used merzost and is haunted by shadowy demons of his own creation.

You both had dark, deep wounds when you emerged from the Unsea, but when yours disappeared after your natural healing had run its course, Aleksander’s injuries stayed the same. You can sense how they hurt him constantly, even as he tries to hide the full extent of it from you in an attempt to maintain strength. You know him well enough to both guess that he would try to put on a brave face, and can read his body language enough to recognize the stiff movements for what they hide.

His physical appearance matters not to you. He is still yours, the man you loved centuries ago and the one you do now. If the shadows that usually billow inside of him have now decided to carve out a more visible place for themselves, so be it. You only wish that he would not have to suffer so in the process.

That is why the two of you have been scouring the Ravkan countryside in search of Grisha. The practitioners of the Small Science have been left in upheaval after the ill-fated attempt to take back control from the Lantsov king. There are few things in life you despise more than a failing, useless, greedy monarch, and not a day goes by in which you regret that the otkazat’sya fool was not already dead.

He does, however, provide you with a good opportunity to build your ranks again as the elder Lantsov son cracks down on Grisha. You and Aleksander launch venture after venture to save Heartrenders and Healers, Summoners and Durasts and everyone you can find. They’re all terribly grateful to not be dead, which only gives you more allies in this fight.

Of course this will end in a fight, how could it not? You have seen plots like this play out before. Every story runs the same course, even if the players themselves do not realize it until the end. To build a war, you must have soldiers who will die for you. Aleksander will sacrifice himself to save you, but he is one man. You want hundreds.

Until then, you have moments like this, slow glimpses of what could be a far more peaceful future if this all plays out the way you wish it. For now, you are alone with the man you love, and for this brief instance, there is nothing in this world that can bring you down.

Aleksander leans up slowly, carefully, disguising his slow hiss of pain with a question directed to you. “Did you sleep well?”

The question isn’t just a pleasant nothingness. You’ve been having nightmares as of late, snippets of what could either be memories or prophecy. If this keeps up, your mind will start to shatter. You can only hope that you’ll be able to stop that before it happens. Madness and witches do not well mix.

You sigh. “As well as could be expected. I’m still on edge from yesterday.”

Yesterday had almost gone quite badly. A group of two dozen or so Grisha had been chained in a long line and forced into the Shadow Fold at gunpoint by cowardly First Army soldiers. By the time you and Aleksander had gotten wind of what had happened, the volcra had arrived at the scene as well. 

You had fought them off, but such close proximity to the beasts had made you uneasy. Everything reminds you of what it had been like in the Shadow Fold when Alina’s light had left the two of you, how the darkness had come swooping in and left you bloody.

Aleksander had called for you to leave them, but you had insisted on saving who you could. You were jittery for the rest of the day, he could tell, but you had sworn you were fine. Perhaps he can see through you a little too well just like you with him.

Aleksander arches a brow now, likely thinking along the same lines. “So will you listen to me next time, my love? Will you let them go when it hurts you, or at least try not to disguise it from me?”

“I’ll make a deal with you,” you say as innocently as you can, “I will stop disguising my torments from you when you stop trying to pretend that those scars don’t hurt as much as they do.”

Aleksander smiles even as a fresh bout of pain turns the expression into a wince. “You drive a difficult bargain.”

“I’m known for being difficult,” you grin.

“Perhaps,” he admits, “but I like that best about you.”

It is easy, on mornings like this, to pretend that all might be well, that the two of you are not fighting a war that could be lost over something as simple as one Sun Summoner somewhere you cannot find. You have no idea if Alina Starkov has even survived, but if she did, you hope that for all the peace you wish to find with Aleksander, she will have none of it with Mal.

You and Aleksander leave your temporary shelter some time later that morning, leaving no trace that you’d been there except shadows in the corners of the rooms that fester slightly more than before. You’d heard rumors that the First Army outpost here was planning on making an example of some more Grisha near the boundary of the Shadow Fold, so that is where the two of you will be stopping first.

As dusk settles upon the area, you and Aleksander arrive upon the scene, lingering back so as not to draw unwanted attention. The two of you are technically still believed to be dead, although you doubt any smattering of soldiers could actually do so much as harm a hair on your heads. You keep your hoods up anyway. It would not do to be revealed now, not before your plan can fully come to fruition.

You narrow your eyes, straining to pick out the details in the dark night. The soldiers have put Grisha in cages, their hands bound so as to not use their abilities. The sight makes your stomach turn. Those blessed with magic should not have to die just because others are jealous of their power.

As your gaze roves from face to face, you see only weariness, fear, desolation. Aleksander had built a marvel of a world at the Little Palace, a place where all the Grisha could practice their gifts in safety. Alina claims she wants to make a better world for the Grisha, but look what she’s done. She ruined the best thing Ravkan Grisha had at peace.

You’ve almost finished scouring the captive Grisha when you notice one particular face stand out amongst the rest. It’s one you recognize, actually. It’s one you’ve been hoping to find for a while, both you and Aleksander.

You suck in a breath. “That’s– That’s Genya.”

Aleksander’s eyes harden. “It is.”

One stray glance his way and you already can guess at what he’s thinking. “We need to get her. Even if it costs us the rest. Genya can find David for us.”

Aleksander inclines his head once. “And David can fix me.”

You make a tsking sound in the back of your throat. “Men fix toys, not gods.”

He looks amused at that. “We are not gods, Y/N.”

“No,” you decide, “but we are the closest anyone will ever get to seeing them.”

Aleksander laughs, evidently pleased. “I missed your ferocity, my little soldier.”

You look at him askance. “You made me a member of your personal guard within two days of meeting me again, even before you knew it was me. I don’t know why you’re acting like this is the first time you’ve seen my ferocity in a while.”

You can just see the shadow of his smile under his hood. “And yet I still didn’t see enough of it. You left, as you might recall.”

“Yes,” you admit in a whisper, “but I came back.”

He takes your hand, interlacing your fingers with his. “I know. You always do.”

It is a statement spoken in complete calm, no trace of malice or accusation. In your eyes, it is the final proof that he has forgiven you, just as you have in turn forgiven him. Like calls to like. The two of you were never meant to be separate for long. 

Aleksander turns his gaze towards the captive Grisha once more. The First Army soldiers are watching the Shadow Fold rumble ever closer, and you can feel the terror of the Grisha prick upon your skin like needles.

“Shall we deliver them from harm, then? Shall we take back what is ours?” He asks.

You nod once. This is it, then. From this point forward, there is no going back. Everything in the past was temporary, a step in the right direction without making enough of a scene to commit to your cause. When you save these Grisha, you’ll have enough to start making real changes, to find the people you truly need and hunt down those who have betrayed you. The war will be reborn.

.Aleksander raises his arms in time with yours. Shadow monsters of merzost stalk out of the Shadow Fold, sending the First Army fleeing. Those that run are only met with spells of your creation, which pierce through their hearts like daggers. In her cage, Genya Safin fearfully raises her head, expression changing from immediate terror to slow, dense horror. She knows what the dying soldiers do not:  this is only the beginning.

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[the-way-astray]

obsessed with slightly-toxic!aldella.

them being nervous around each other the way you would be around someone you recently developed a crush on and not someone you’ve been married to for at least thirty years. them not really being attracted to each other beyond looks and surface-level kindness. them always wanting to look and act their best around each other because they aren’t confident that the other will love them no matter what.

alden calling della over-the-top romantic nicknames like “my love” and “my dear”, thinking that surely acts of love reside in obvious romantic gestures and not the trust you have in each other.

them having trust issues and putting their oaths to the council over their relationship and spying on each other. them keeping secrets from each other about their assignments.

alden continuing to pursue della even after she rejected him, thinking that it was meant to be because he could feel it, and thinking himself simply persistent for not letting it go, instead of creepy. della mistaking infatuation with adoration or admiration and finally caving.

them never talking to each other about the alvar situation, and instead individually going through procedures to try to cope. them treating each other as simply a roommate and an equal instead of a spouse and a shoulder to lean on.

alden buying della a house because he’d always been taught that large romantic gestures matter and that all women like pretty things without considering what she would like. della being ecstatic because she was taught that men doing grand gestures like that meant they cared about you without considering that she probably could’ve bought a similar house for herself.

them never really talking about the alina situation, and instead getting awkward every time it’s brought up because they aren’t sure how the other will react to the reminder. them never really learning to laugh it off and look back on it as a ridiculous thing that happened.

them never just relaxing around one another. them never talking and sharing silly stories and joking around. ever.

alden never telling della about that “perfect match” he thought he would end up with, because he’s scared that della will judge him for liking someone before her.

them dressing up all fancy to go to some party and dancing or holding hands the entire time to maintain what appears to be picture-perfect relationship. them getting so emotionally exhausted that the second they’ve attained privacy again, they separate themselves.

and despite all this, them continuing to have the flawed belief that their relationship is perfect in every way.

[lilisouless]

Do u like darklina? If yes, why? If no, why?

i definitely don't

the reasons are many but i only need one: she doesn't want to be with him and she didn't even liked him that much as she liked the attention. She only went with him when she thought Mal has ignoring him, on the book version she never iniciates a kiss (like, their lack of chemistry as lovers on the books its quite amazing, they only have enemies chemistry at the very best) Alina just lies there like a puppet and makes it happen. He is like her self steem fueller and he was not only perfectly aware of that but makes sure she sees him as such by sabotaging her comunication with Mal, her only friend and having Genya spying on her as well (okay, that the other grisha soldiers her age besides David is ulterly obnoxious certainly helped but still)

Its a little better on the show because at least she shows some interest and book!Alina clearly saw herself as inferior to him while on the show she tries to stand up as an equal which is a nice change and a fix of something that i never liked on the books.

Anyway , neither version work because in both the darkling at the end of the day his attachment to her its awfullly self centered. he is a serious first class narcisist. For him, Alina´s value is always thetered to him, never her, its always what she does for him and thinks Alina having her own mind and morals as a betrayal.

Book darkling supposedly cares about her, but his level of writing is a thanos level of mess. Show darkling is a little better at showing afection towards Alina, but its definitely not enought, he still does horrible things and only sees her as an extention of herself. In short: he doesn't love her at all

And Alina doesn't even need Mal to not love him. In both versions she turns against him when she learns what he did, she needed almost nothing to stop trusting him. Even if you erase Mal´s existence this still would happen, in fact

-book version, Alina had a big fight with Mal and against her heart , choose to be done with him (only reconcilied when Mal´s virtues proven to be bigger than his flaws) so could as well be out of the picture. Mal didn't play a part, she turned against the darkling because she deemed him as untrustworthy despite his better attemps to make himself Alina´s most important person

-Show version, Alina by this point doesn't even know she will find Mal so he doesn't play a part either

To make an emphasis, i honestly think Alina suffers from tons of inconsistent writting on the first two books BUT i will pretend she doesn't: compare how she instantly choose to believe Genya had a good reason for lying to her, this is someone she actually loves (and yes, i have complained about this issue, i still do, but its canon so the point has to stick)

All of this to say: she is so not in love with him, the attraction is undeniably there but there is no love that isn't born of the false affection the darkling tried to build and failed (also, Alina´s natural compasion probably played a part) this girl choose death before being with him.

thats the conclusion to me: they are not in love

And sure i am probably biassed but i will still defend my case: other grishaverse ships that are on my notp territory along with darklina would be nikolai/alina and kaz/jesper.

I really wish i could say nikolai was not in love with alina (alina IS not in love with him, thats canon) or that Jesper was not in love with Kaz so the narrative works on my favor, but i can't, they were , thats canon regardless if i like it or not.So you can say i am at least trying to get bias away and at leas on my mind the statement that they (alina and the darkling) weren't in love makes sense

[problemswithbooks]

More Dain Stuff

So I'm still thinking about Dain and more so, who he might end the story with.

Now, I'm 98.9% sure Violet will stick with Xaden. Not saying it couldn't be interesting if, after the whole Venin thing and their already rocky relationship they broke up, but at the same time that's not how romance novels are written. The story might have dragons, but it is primarily a romance book. Xaden has always been the main focus of Violet and they got together in the first book--just like other fantasy/romance books; think Edward/Bella or Alina/Mal. Plus, most of her audience really like them together; not having them as end game would be alienating her readers.

So Dain's not ending up with Violet. To be honest he could end the story single if he survives, but I'd be a little surprised. Many authors even outside the romance genre have a habit of pairing up their characters at the end. It would be nice if the series didn't go that route, especially if it didn't have a time-skipped epilogue, but I'm expecting at least the main side characters to get paired up to some extent since it is a romance book.

That leaves the question of who he could be paired up with. It's hard to say at this point because he hasn't had many interactions with anyone besides Violet. The few times other characters mention him, most don't really like him. They're are Violet's friends or Marked, so they already have a poor opinion of him or hate him for Liam's death.

I'm not saying that Yarros couldn't have those characters change their opinion of Dain in later books (I really hope they do) and then pair him off with one of them. The issue is that I think most of Violet's close group have been given hints already to who they'll end up with. Sawyer is crushing on Jesinia, Imogen on Garrick. Rhiannon is with Tara, who will hopefully get better established as a character in later books. Though brief Sloane and Cam have some flirtation and in a lot of ways it would make a lot of sense to have them end up together, particularity if Cam becomes King. It would fully show the Marked ones are apart of the kingdom again and fully trusted.

Now, Ridoc is a possibility, but only if Dain is established as bi (which isn't impossible). The biggest hurdle there is that Ridoc is the exact opposite of Dain in a lot of ways. He's the goofball, while Dain is portrayed as a strict. Ridoc doesn't like him. It's really doubtful they'd get along. That could change as the series goes on; Ridoc could show a more serious side, while Dain could lighten up. Violet said he used to smile and laugh a lot, be less of a rule follower. Maybe Ridoc could bring that back out. I think it could be pretty cute and honesty it'd be cool if Yarros put an end to a love triangle by pairing up the spare with another guy.

One possibility though that I really find interesting and I could see is Cat.

First of all she also needs paired up as that failed third wheel of a love triangle with Xaden. There is a man in her Gryphon Flier group that likes her, so that might be who she gets put with in the end, but if that does happen I hope he gets a bit more screen time given how important Cat has been at least during Iron Flame.

Second, their powers complement each other. Dain can see memories (pretty much read minds to an extent) while Cat can manipulate emotions as long as they're present. I could easily see these two using teamwork to get stuff done. Cat could get someone upset enough that they lower their shields so Dain can read them, or Dain could read someones memories and give Cat the best ammunition to get them into the state of mind she needs to manipulate their emotions. Physical fights wouldn't change much but in intelligence work they could be really good as a team.

Third, I want a Flier/Rider romance and Cat's the most prominent Gyphon Flier we have as of Iron Flame. She's third in line for the throne which is interesting and could mean she ends up as Queen. Giving her a dragon Rider partner could be a good way of showing that even once the Venin are gone Navarre and Poromeil are still allies. Also would be interesting to see how a relationship like that was seen by the dragons.

Fourth, it'd be a bit funny. Cat is Xaden's ex, while Dain was Violet's first crush and childhood friend. I doubt Xaden would care much, since he never cared about Cat, but I think Violet would have many conflicting feelings about it which would be fun to see her stress over. By the end of Iron Flame she seems to have grown to respect Cat and Cat respects her in return, but I it wasn't that long ago she hated her. Meanwhile, although she was furious at Dain, he was her best friend for fifteen years.

It'd just be funny to see Violet struggling with that sort of roller coaster of emotions and perhaps catching herself thinking similar things Dain said to her about Xaden. I mean I could see her first thought being Cat is getting close to Dain to mess with her, since she can't get to Xaden anymore. Having her catch herself and realize she's making snap judgments could lead to some interesting conversations with both Dain and Cat or even Xaden talking to her more about his past with Cat. Just cool character interactions all around!

Fifth, character development. Dain is seen as Mr. By the Book, and although there probably isn't some rule against Flier/Rider relationships (because they've never worked together before) it could still be seen as wrong. They might be working together but they were enemies for hundreds of years. Dain picking Cat despite it being seen as against the spirit of the Codex continues his growth as getting over his issue of putting rules before people he cares about.

Meanwhile Cat, although tackling her anti-Dragon Rider hate and working with Violet has another flaw the one that was probably the biggest reason her and Xaden broke up. She wanted a crown. Now, I actually don't think this is a terrible thing for her to want given what we know of her and her situation. Poromeil has been essentially left to die by Navarre for hundreds of years. Frankly it makes sense Cat would want political power so she could use it to form an alliance with a Kingdom that might be strong enough to save her home.

Still the story makes it appear to be a flaw--that she wanted a crown over love. So, in that sense picking Dain, someone who isn't a prince or king, and has very little sway with anyone with power (Xaden hates him, and he deserted the army so he doesn't have any allies on that front either--dude is not getting a good job no mater whose in charge) shows she'll pick over over a crown. Even if afterwards she still gets the throne of Poromeil for whatever reason, it'd still prove she picked Dain over power.

So, that's my essay on possible end ships for Dain. I sort of still think he'll die--I'm always prepared for a character I like to die. But if he does live and get paired up I'd say it'd be Cat, with Ridoc as a runner up.

[aajjks]

mommy issues!JK

of course your friends want to know about yours and jungkook’s sex life. obviously, the two of you are fucking but there’s still more they want to know: what’s jungkook’s dick size? is he good in bed? he is a top or a bottom? the girls want to know it all and as much as you want to keep your ‘bedroom activities’ private, there’s a part of you that wants to brag about how good your fiancé is at sex especially oral sex.

you’ll never forget the first night you and jungkook got to have a taste of each other—every night the two of you are intimate is unforgettable including the night he proposed. which reminds you, you’ve STILL yet to give this man a mind blowing orgasm with your mouth.

“—Please tell me you fucked!” asks a frantic jihyo who’s dying to know more about yours and jungkook’s sex life. it’s a bit worrying but you’ll indulge for a little bit and ONLY a little bit.

“yes! we did fuck and it was amazing!!” you say and zoey, lisa, and jihyo jump in excitement while alina gags in the back. jungkook is like a little brother to her and anything pertaining to his ‘business’ instantly weirds the poor woman out.

“he’s always amazing in bed. great stamina, hot body—everything about him is hot” you brag.

“so is he a top or bottom because i’ve always imagined him to be a bottom” asks lisa as she makes eye contact with the group of men who were laughing amongst themselves.

“depends on his mood and how he feels”

“so a switch?”

“not really because he tops me a lot but it really depends on his mood. he is a virgo”

“can we PLEASE change the conversation? when is the baby shower?” begs alina as she covers her ears and you all can’t help but to laugh at your poor friend.

“i think when i’m 7 months pregnant we’ll have a baby shower. we’ve been a little busy lately so it just depends” you say but the real reason why you’re prolonging it is because of the relocation to incheon.

from afar, nara watches the whole thing. ji-yeon tells nara to drive safe and to let go of her son who clearly isn’t interested in her anymore but how can she let go when her soul it attached? this isn’t something physical, her soul is bounded to his and the only way to free herself is:

i might kill my ex

not the best idea

his new girlfriend’s next

how’d i get here?

i might kill my ex

i still love him though

rather be in jail than alone

~🫧

The night is so much fun, he drinks with his friends but not too much so he can still be sober enough to drive, yet he doesn’t want this night to end.

You look happy, as he steals glances at you, you’re laughing and giggling even, Jungkook feels so content. “Dude stop staring at her.” Eunwoo calls jungkook out.

“She’s got him wrapped around her fingers.” Chris remarks, teasing jungkook to no end.

“Oh fuck- the food is delicious.” Mingyu is so busy shoving food down his throat, Jaehyun and Yugyeom laugh at him, Jungkook scoffs.

“Eat all of it.” He says and all of the guys soon dig in, Jungkook takes the opportunity to excuse himself from his friends and approaches you.

He walks over to you and puts his hands on your shoulders, taking you by surprise, “hi baby, please remember to eat well.” He coos in your ear.

The ladies coo in awe at his caring attitude towards you.

“Ahhhh yn is so lucky!” All the girls tease you, both you and Jungkook blush, “ladies I trust you to make sure that yn eats well.” He bows, quickly excusing himself.

•••

The ride to home is peaceful and tension free unlike a few hours ago when you were driving to the party. “Yn baby did you have fun?” He asks, as you both finally reach home, jungkook picks up a sleeping Seol in his arms taking him from you.

He gives you the keys so you can open the door to the apartment, Jungkook begins to rock Seol back and forth as you open the apartment.

You both enter the house and Jungkook quickly makes sure to take off seol’s coat and bow tie and he goes into his room to tuck him in.

After he’s done with that, he enters your bedroom, but you’re nowhere to be seen.

That’s when he realizes that you’re probably undressing now. “Yn you getting ready for bed?” He calls out.

[bogunicorn]

i'm gonna stop shadow-and-bone posting after this for a bit BUT

man, props to Ben Barnes for making a tragic villain out of such a thin character concept. Aleksander didn't even have a real name in the books, let alone an actual backstory.

I love a good tragic end for an emotionally complicated villain and I got exactly what I wanted out of Aleksander's defeat. I love that he's scrambling right at the end, I love that he can't even let go of his fatal flaw even when he's lost everything else, I love that his emotions were fully validated and real and still not an excuse that will get him out of being cut down.

I believe wholeheartedly that his love for Alina was genuine. It's just that he was doing his best and his best was awful. He orchestrated his own misery when he tried to control Alina instead of trusting her and using their relationship to heal and grow as a person.

Also, ugh, that bit right at the end. "Make sure there's nothing left of me." He only had seconds left and used his last shred of time to make sure he moves on, that he's gone and can't hurt Alina by lingering.

And then the show goes out of its way to focus on the women he'd hurt the most getting closure after what he'd done.

I have my beef with season 2, but everything they gave Ben Barnes to do was stellar, no notes or complaints.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

I don't understand why the writers try so hard to force Malina. They can be a couple in love, no worries. But it's stupid to force this relationship as the focus of the show, just because it isn't. Despite their best efforts, from a purely logical point of view the center of the story is Darklina. Already, clumsily changing Mal's life aspirations from "I want a farm" to "I want to travel", simply because it was a characteristic that Darklina actually shared, not Malina. I also have to say that Alina's dialogue about Mal being her true love and she would never love someone like that again made me roll my eyes... Girl, a few months ago you was ready to build a future with another man. Writers, did you forget that too?! You can make Malina an important relationship, and emphasize their love without trying to focus on them or pretending it's a lost and timeless love! Simply say: I love you Mal, you are a part of me, I can't lose you. Would have been great! Why add this delirium of "I will never ever love as much as you / never will know such a love again" it's just forced and in bad taste. Just because they can't logically be that kind of love with the Darkling that's coded as one that actually understands Alina in its entirety + their relationship in Season 1. If Mal doesn't bring that whole notion of trust to Alina, so I can't believe this big love bullshit... I wish that in season 3, Alina also questions the real reason for her love for Mal, if it's related to the bird of fire or not and reconnect with the Darkling, just to tone that shit down. It's possible, I've read quite a few books where the heroine says of the first guy that he's her soul mate, that they're meant to be together forever, then in the end end up with someone other. We can do that with Alina, make her and the audience realize that it's not true that Mal isn't necessarily her great love by reaffirming that she wanted a future with the Darkling, without taking the love away from her. 'Alina for Mal. Just stop overdoing this thing that doesn't have to be. But for that, I just think I'm dreaming.

My biggest issue with M*lina has always been how forced it is, in season 2 they really were just trying way too hard and that just made it annoying. I also found alot of their dialogue really cringey that line about never loving anyone like him was the cringiest. Like you said last season she was ready to build a future with Aleks which I think cheapens this line she says to M*l, its like a line from the books, in the first book M*l confesses to Alina that he never really saw her, and then in book 3 before they have sex he tells her she was all he ever wanted and to me the line just felt so fake because he had previously admitted that he never saw her romantically until they were separated, so obviously she wasn't all he ever wanted as there were plenty of other girls he wanted before he even started looking at Alina that way.

I do find with darklina it is just so much more natural, I can see how they fell for each other and they didn't need those cheesy full on declarations to make their relationship believable. Alina's line 'we could have had this, all of it' didn't feel forced or cringey it just felt real, the same with Aleks saying that he had been waiting a long time for her in 1x04, again that line could have come across as cheesy but it didn't, it felt believable and that scene was so charged and intimate. You felt it, and it felt sincere.

[milolov3nutella]

My Ocs info

ok I make info here so I can pin this. You can ignore this if its in your recommendations.

Cod zombies ocs

Wei Fu Xiu (main) Primis: (20's) Chaotic good /Ultimis: (40's) Lawful good (November 2nd)

• likes spending time with Tak and Tae, has a family of 4.

• Primis: energetic, loyal, always see thing as fun. Kinda immature, loves his family.

• Ultimis: loyal, trustworthy, kinda depressed from his daughter unexpected disappearance. Helped Taeko with the rebellion.

• born into a upper-middle class family. Has a family fan that have spikes. 5'9

• taught to fight by Tak's father.

• the fight-breaker

Taeko Masaki (Takeo's sister) (40's) True Neutral (April 15 / 10 minutes older than Tak)

• Takeo's twin sister. Downright taller than him like 5'11, no one knows why

• loves her brother but still bicker alot with him

• a rebel, while Tak's a patriot.

• has a husband and 2 kids

• looks alot like Tak but female (I cannot imagine)

• loyal, bad temper, loves foods, energetic

Mei Yu Lan (main) Primis: 20's Lawful Good/ Ultimis: 40's Neutral good (9 January)

•They both are loyal, trustworthy and caring. Primis is less merciful and serious while Ultimis is tired but calm.

•work in France to pay for hospital bills

•friends with Kora (my friend's oc) since childhood

•became Xiu's enemy to his spouse

•she like spears, I mean alot

•Ultimis, she is calm, but if she is traumatized by something she won't let it go.

Cod black ops cold war ocs

Andros "Bell" Lenkov (supposedly main, cuz the game let us make him as anyone. But I don't own him.) (40's) Chaotic Neutral (wip)

• loyal, loves cats, trusting (depends),

Height: 5'8

• like the storyline, he is brainwashed by the cia

• (good ending) former kgb, hates the group for lying to him, but forgives them later. Takes a little liking to Adler but still hating him at the same time. Good friends with Sim and Park. Best friends with Hui cause she save him many times and he does the same. Neutral with Woods, Mason and Miles.

• (bad ending) now with Perseus, he is the most loyal agent in the field. Perseus's right hand man. He does miss some of the crew but always returns to the fact that they betrayed him.

Wei Hui Shan (Xiu's granddaughter) (25) Chaotic good (wip 1956)

• Always wants to find her family's friends. Kind of a stalker. 5'6

• loves surprises, join the cia because she believes she can protect her home country, China or Taiwan, depends on the timeline.

• kind, loving, cares alot about her friends, social, airhead. Looks up to Adler, Bell's best friend

Cod modern warfare 2

None yet.

For people that likes history, join countryballs or u just need to draw hands and legs, then join countryhumans (please don't see the cringe side of the fandom)

Countryhumans (past)

None

Countryhumans

None (cuz I threw them away ;-;)

(Overwatch) 2070 (ish)

Giotto "Ombrello" Ranallo (male) (made on 2030s)

•Advanced omnic, former Italian mafia, calm, loves wine (even tho he cant drink it), classy, 5'8, Damage, Sicily Italy, was fixed and hid by Alina.

•Joined Blackwatch before Overwatch

•weapon: a fedora with spikes, gunbrella (sniper).

•wears an armored suit, he disguised himself to hide from getting killed during the omnic war.

Alina "Soceress" Markovich (female) (29)

•Afro-Ukrainian, 5'10, Support, energetic, caring, 5 May 2051, Kyiv Ukraine

• Ukraine's top medic, a patriot, daughter of a deceased surgeon, in love with sorcery, best friend of Giotto.

• weapon: sorcerer's star (a necklace that grants her the healing power), a random pistol for defense, can transform into air and reappear in a few seconds.

[number63liveblogs]

King of Scars, Chapter 6: Nikolai

He’d liked Alina, maybe he’d even started to love her.

Interesting. Up to that point my reaction was basically “if you’re so distressed about the thought of having a wife maybe consider that you might not be attracted to women in general” but if he’d had actual romantic feelings towards Alina and not just political considerations then there’s something else going on.

I still think the books are going to end with him together with Zoya, so one option is that he wants her and nobody else, but it might also be that he has and has had people he trusts enough to tell them about his true parentage, and he hates the idea of having to share his life with someone he doesn’t actually trust.

And… Yeah, political marriages can work, when both people are on the same page about why they’re married. But the fac that Nikolai has this one huge secret that could destroy him, that he can’t tell anyone means that it’s very difficult to be able to pick someone who he can be sure is not going to betray him.

Of course, the best option is to pick someone he trusts already. And that would be Zoya.

(Of course, it would be a huge issue that then the four highest governmental seats are taken by two couples. I can’t believe they thought putting David and Genya on those seats was a good idea.)

[clairecrive]

"it’s been months since we broke up and i just found one of your old sweatshirts in my wardrobe and it’s making me miss you" nikolai x reader with a happy ending pls?

A/n: I can't help myself but give my best man a happy ending, sorry not sorry. Hope you like it x

Warnings: angst, confrontation, happy ending

Word count: 2K

Tags: @jupiterandbutterflies, @agentsofshield, @for-bebbanburg, @randomoutsiders, @pansysgirlfriend, @hannaxmaria, @vintagebitc, @story-scribbler, @crowssixof, @odetostep, @lizzie-he4rts, @korol-lantsov, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @gallysonegoodlung, @a-c-lee, @mriddlemethis (tag list form)

SHADOW AND BONE MASTERLIST

A knock on the door in the middle of the night wasn't something you were expecting to happen. Merely because you were not expecting anyone. Even though, to be fair, it wasn't that late. And considering how everyone's so busy these days, with the Darkling threat looming over your heads, everyone is required to put in some work to plan a strategy that will assure our victory. Or at least, to contain the damage that surely the Shadow Summoner had planned to inflict upon those who had betrayed him.

Sleep was a luxury these days, so really, you shouldn't have been surprised by someone calling for you. Sighing, you walked to the door wrapping your robe around your body.

When your eyes fell onto the person behind the door, you froze. Now this, was a surprise.

You definitely weren't expecting your ex-boyfriend to knock on your door in the middle of the night a month after your break up.

"Nikolai?" the surprise was clear in your voice as well as weariness. If he was here that meant that something terrible must have happened.

"Were you sleeping?" he shuffled on his feet. As if seeing at your door after all this time wasn't baffling enough, his insecurity certainly was.

You shook your head. "Has something happened?"

"Yes," he said rolling his shoulders back. You stood taller as well, bracing for the bad news. "it’s been months since we broke up and I just found one of your old sweatshirts in my wardrobe and it’s making me miss you," he added and pulled something from behind his back.

It was your sweatshirt indeed, one of your favourites, certainly the most comfortable one. One that you usually used to sleep but it was also the one that you had left in his rooms. The break-up had been sudden in the sense that it had been a long time in the making but the bubble had broken abruptly, leaving you no time to retrieve your stuff.

Well, you could have gone to him and ask for your things but you had spent the last month trying to avoid him.

"Nikolai-" now your words were tentative, a slight warning in them. There was a reason why things had ended, after all.

"No, please, just hear me out." There was no insecurity in his voice anymore, nor in his body language. You knew the man in front of him, painfully aware of how stubborn he was. And the truth was that you had missed him too. Being so close to him and yet so far away had been one of the hardest things you had to do.

So you relented. With a nod, you let him in your room.

You closed the door and when you turned around you saw him sitting on your bed. You took a couple of step towards him but decided to stand at a safe distance from him. Nikolai's eyes were on you and you shifted on your feet under his gaze.

"What's there left to say?" You spoke since he didn't. His presence was unnerving enough on its own, embarrassing silence wasn't a surplus you needed.

"I'm aware of why we broke up, what you think. But I need you to know that it was a huge misunderstanding." He said, squaring his shoulders.

You scoffed, crossing your arms on your chest. "Really? And you waited a month to clear the air?"

"It wouldn't have been fair to you for me to have this conversation before." He stated as if he was during one of his diplomatic meetings.

"Because all this time, you've still been flirting with her."

"I wouldn't put it like that..." He slightly grimaced, his eyes leaving yours for the first time to move to his hands.

"Courting, wooing, pursuing, whatever Nikolai. I don't care how you'd put it. I don't care about what you do with her either." Gesturing with your hands, you sneered at his audacity. He wasn't going to get out of this on semantics. Nonetheless, it was over and you didn't want to show just how aggravated seeing him with Alina made you. "It's none of my business." You shook your head and moved towards your window, giving him your back.

"Well, maybe you don't care but I do. Maybe what I have to tell you won't change a thing but I need to at least try." He raised his voice, frustration clear in his words for your attitude. But you couldn't care less, you had just started. "Because this past month without you has been hell and I don't want to spend another day without you." His voice trembled a bit at the end and you knew that it wasn't easy for him to be this vulnerable with you.

"Don't tell Alina that." You teased him in a neutral tone. Back still to him.

"Alina doesn't care, y/n. And neither do I."

"Could have me fooled."

"It would have been a political union." Frustrated, he pointed out. You turned around this time, scoffing at the implicit insult.

"That much I had guessed, Nikolai." You weren't stupid. And you knew Nikolai. As soon as the first wave of pain and betrayal passed, you realized that it must have been a strategic move on his part. Not that it made anything better.

"You...did?" He almost stammered, eyes widening in surprise.

"Of course," you sighed, "but it doesn't make anything better. So if this is all you had to say, I'm afraid it doesn't change anything."

"But- it changes everything. I don't love Alina, I never have." He insisted, standing up from the bed and taking a step in your direction.

"You would have still married her though, wouldn't you?" You pointed out with a rhetorical question that he still felt like answering.

"Well, I-"

"And you didn't tell me anything, did you?" You continued this time without giving him time to speak. "So yes, maybe you didn't love her. Maybe you loved me but would that matter once you were married to her?"

"I'll tell you: no it wouldn't have. Because as much as I loved you, I wouldn't have let you made me your mistress. And you and Alina are good friends, I'm sure you'd grow to love her with time." Your voice has hardened, failing at carelessly exposing an eventual love blooming between them. But Nikolai didn't notice. He was still at the second sentence.

"Loved?"He whispered. Past tense.

"Did you expect me to hold a torch forever?" Your voice softened at his reaction but still- you weren't going to be around forever. He had made his choice, after all.

"Of course not," Nikolai mumbled as he sat down on the bed again and looked down at your sweatshirt still in his hands. You couldn't see his face and you knew that it was a deliberate move. Never had you seen him to defeated and crestfallen. His shoulders slumped, his fingers fisted the material in his hands.

Sighing, you closed the distance between you and sat beside him on the bed. Maybe you had been too harsh but it was an instinct for you to be so defensive. Even though his betrayal had hurt you immensely, hurting him back was never your intention.

"I don't think I could ever stop loving you." You whispered. Eyes latched on your fumbling fingers, you heave a sigh. This felt like the confession it was.

"But you can't expect me to be fine just because you explained Nikolai. It doesn't excuse the lies or the betrayal." You continued, wanting him to understand. Now that everything was out in the open, it was best to speak heart to heart.

"Indeed it doesn't. And I'm sorry I've hurt you, it was never my intention." He agreed and apologised but you shook your head. What good was it an apology now? It wasn't a matter of forgiveness anymore. There was now a lack of trust and you didn't know how to handle it.

"How do you think I would have reacted? What if she said yes, uh? What then, Nikolai? Would an "I love you" fix everything?" Speaking no matter the lump of your throat, you turned to face him. His eyes were already on you. They were glossy and one of his hands reached out to yours to hold it.

"I knew she was going to say no. And I knew that it was a low move on my part considering that you're my whole heart but I couldn't have lived with myself if I didn't at least try," he confessed. You nodded because you knew how much he cared for Ravka's future and having Alina on the throne would no doubt have a positive impact on all fronts.

"Because having her on the throne would have been advantageous for us, for Ravka. It would benefit us in so many ways that I had to try, at least. No matter the sacrifice." The last word came out as a whisper, his eyes flickering between yours and you understood the underlying message. But that was exactly the problem.

"What hurt me the most, Nikolai was that you made the decision for both of us."

"I'm not a strategist but I understand the power Alina holds. It would have still hurt but if you had told me, it would have been different." You explained as his eyes filled with an emotion that you recognized as regret.

"I'm sorry, y/n. I never wanted you to feel like you don't matter to me. Because you do. You have no idea how much you do. And I love you, I really do." His hold on your hands tightened and you were surprised to see how his lower lip trembled a bit.

"I love you too, Kolya." You confessed, unable to pretend the contrary. "But I don't know where to go from here."

"You don't owe me anything, my sweet. I wanted you to know and now you do. That's more than I deserve." One of his hands came up to caress your cheek as he gave you a small smile. You actually leaned to him, missing the touch, the closeness.

You missed him.

And yes, he had made a mistake. Yes, he had hurt you. But was it to the point of no return? To be fair, you knew that nothing had actually happened between him and Alina besides the proposal. And sure, that was certainly enough on its own but in a way that meant that it hadn't actually cheated.

He had surely betrayed your trust and lied to you. But trust could be regained. And work could be done on your relationships so as not to have these communication problems again.

The question is: were you willing to put yourself through that? Because it was not going to be easy. And there was a chance that it wasn't going to work.

His eyes boring on yours, you hoped to convey your insecurity to him. You knew he loved you. And you dearly loved him too. Maybe you could give him a second chance. If love was there maybe it was worth it to put in the effort to make it work.

Scratch that- it definitely was.

"What about what I deserve?" You whispered as your hands wrapped around his on your face.

"Everything and more, my love." His eyes flickered between yours hopefully. Trying to see if he could find the confirmation in them of what your words implied.

"Well, I think that I deserve a prince." You stated with a small smile.

"Even if he's unworthy of you?" He insisted, raising an eyebrow but mirroring your smile.

"I guess I can give him another chance to prove himself."

"He'd be most grateful, my dear. But I'm afraid he'll never deserve you." His face got closer to yours, nose almost touching. He cradled your face in his hands, his thumb stroking your cheeks.

"Enough with the charming, Kolya, I'm already yours. Come and get me." You chuckled with a roll of your eyes before eagerly tugging him closer to you.

"As you wish." He said before he kissed you. Slowly at first, almost as if he couldn't still believe that it was happening. Then with the hold on your face, he pulled you closer angling your face so as to deepen the kiss.

Your old sweatshirt laid discarded on your bedroom floor. Forgotten for the moment as you caught up on your lost time together.

[metvmorqhoses]

I understand you like villains, but the Darkling is a manipulative and abusive person who doesn't care about Alina. He only wants to use and enslave her. Even the small nice things he does are manipulation. Their ship isn't healthy. Alina belongs with Mal.

look, the darkling is a thousands of years old ethereal being who almost completely lost any form of attachment to his humanity, being completely lost in the rivers of time and of his own devouring power, with the sole exception of a loosely defined sense of patriotism (which is filtered by altered, almost god-like morals that cannot be understood nor can apply to normal human beings), and his recognition in alina of his only equal mate, his only place of belonging in endless oceans of solitude, recognition that deeply unsettles and enrages him at first (after all she is an oblivious child and he an ancient superhuman), but that he’s too mature and intelligent not to accept and respect in earnest in his own way.

so, saying that he doesn’t care about alina and that he’s only there to play with a naive girl’s head to obtain her power, is nothing but sheer oversimplification and lack of understanding of his character.

of course he constantly manipulates her, he’d manipulate reality itself given the chance, that’s the way he navigates the world, through power, coldness and charisma. i think it’s quite obvious he thinks best being in control of everything important, he is the one having the bigger picture after all, he’s everything he has ever had since remote times, he’s been alone in his godly point of view for thousands of years, it’s only natural he thinks his agenda and opinions superior to those of a bunch of children (the king himself to him is but a child). in his eyes, he is the centuries-old man and she is but a precious little girl in whose hands the very reason of his every battle and hope is being placed by fate. his succeeding in having her power by his side is capital for him, after all his ambition and distance from humanity is endless, and so is his desperation. that’s why he opts for the most effective way to ensure having it (putting the collar on her, being sure to be in control and not subjected to the whims of a teenager). honestly, from his point of view, this is simply mere logic and effectiveness, nothing particularly evil or personal. let’s not forget he was hoping all along she would join him willingly.

yet, leaving aside the political agenda, the very fact that he does take the time to “manipulate” alina, that he cares enough to spend himself, the detached uncaring god, to try his best to be liked by her, to be admired and somehow understood by her, even to confess himself in his own subtle way full of half-truths, is the proof that he does care for the person behind the power he so much craves. there’s literally no pragmatic reason to charm someone you already have de facto captive in your own guarded palace and that you plan to enslave, if you don’t somehow crave her attachment. she fashinates him, she unsettles him. she reminds him of who he used to be. what we perceive as manipulation is his immoral and very wrong way of caring. he probably believes she would never love the real him, he probably thinks she would flee screaming. and, honestly, he wasn’t that wrong after all.

yet he craves and he tries to touch this light from his abyss of darkness, he’s anything but cold indifference. his manipulation probably wants to have many different effects on alina, that don’t necessarily exclude one another. one simple act of manipulation can have the aim to secure her trust in order to claim her power more easily and can at the same time aim to make her simply smile. these two facts can peacefully coexist in such a man’s mind. the first doesn’t make the second less real or important.

asking mal for her favorite flowers and then giving them to her himself can be a way of charming her and can be a way to literally give her her favorite flowers. It’s undoubtedly a petty move, yet very effective and even somehow funny if we shed the very popular woke indignation. it’s something very childish and very human to do. this is not so much political scheming as it is kindergarten rivalry, if we are honest with ourselves. in the darkling’s mind, the end always justifies the means and the evil plan behind giving alina her favorite flowers stealing the information from her sweetheart or reading their letters, is being able to get to her heart in the easiest way possible, disregarding every rule because he thinks himself above them all.

i’m honestly astonished adults don’t seem able to understand that the darkling wanting alina’s power and aiming to be in control of it, having his way in everything, and the darkling loving her are not only compatible truths but also in many ways codependent ones.

and how lame constantly labeling every unusual relationship “unhealthy” as if that would immediately rule out their right to beauty or complexity. especially in fiction, adults should have the right, the agency, to have their disgustingly unhealthy relationships in peace, without moralists constantly trying to diminish what they share because of it. the majority of fascinating things in art and in life are unhealthy. grow up. the women in these relationships are not fragile little flowers, they can deal with abysmality, they can even enjoy it. you are taking their choice and their own complexities away from them.

and really, in this very case don’t even have me started with mal. his love confession at the end of shadow and bone was cringe-worthy. “now i see you, alina”. like literally this boy fucked everyone that moved but alina, who lived for him and who clearly needed help because she was literally rotting away, and yet he didn’t even know she existed until she became important and famous, then proceeding to shame her for it in the little palace, only in the end to confirm his shallowness by saying “now that you are basically a goddess personified i see you”, and she is even supposed to deeply appreciate that? seriously? is this the healthy love you want women to lower their heads to? not to mention the only thing that keeps that love barely lukewarm is alina’s childhood trauma and obsessive attachment to the only person who was with her during those hard times. what a fairy tale.

in short, nothing wrong in having banal points of view, to each their own i suppose, but i’d appreciate if you’d avoid coming in other people’s inboxes acting like the moral artistic police when you clearly even lack the means to do it. thank you.

[countryclubstarkey]

Trust me

Pairing: The Darkling x female reader

Warnings: Angst, manipulation, making out

Word Count: 957

Summary: Before Alina, there was someone else.

Disclaimer: I do not condone The Darkling’s actions; this is pure fiction.

*This gif does not belong to me and all credit goes to the owner

The mood around the little palace was grim upon The Darkling’s arrival, everyone knowing the foul mood he was going to be in due to his dispute with The King. The king of Ravka has been pushing the Grisha’s and is expecting too much from them. He wants to use the Grisha to gain as much power as possible, but he never rewards them for it. This is what The Darkling has been fighting for years, respect for his Grisha.

This morning, the Corporalki, Etherealki and the Materialki are all on their best behaviour to impress The Darkling and get on his good side; you never saw the appeal of doing that. The Darkling chose his favourites according to how much the person benefits him. However, you can’t blame the people trying to get his attention; The Darkling is captivating in every way possible.

“Did you hear that the king threatened his position?” Zoya asks you while duelling and practising your summoning powers together. Shaking your head at the news, “The King thinks he has him wrapped around his finger, but with one wrist motion, he can end his life.”

“I’ve always wanted to see him do the cut, have you?” she asks, “It was terrifying, to be honest, I thought I would be next, it happened when they caught me escaping, and the Fjierdan soldier tried to kill me,” you tell her. Zoya laughs at the memory that happened a few years ago when you were forced to join the second army.

“Now look where we are; you’re one of the only people he trusts,”

You can’t help but release a chuckle, “he doesn’t trust me; we both know that, and to be honest, I don’t trust him that much either.”

“Seems to me that we have something to talk about, Miss. y/l/n,” a raspy voice spoke up from behind you. Everyone on the training field froze to gaze at The Darkling as he stood tall in his black kefta. Any loss of dignity did not show on him following his conversation with the king. Instead, he looked the same as always; intimidating and powerful.

“I-- didn’t mean it like-” you tried to stutter out; he held his hand out to stop you from embarrassing yourself any further. “Zoya, please find another sparring partner for the rest of the day, y/n, please follow me,” he said calmly.

No matter how hard you tried to keep a calm demeanour in front of everyone, The Darkling always shattered that wall and broke you down.

The walk back to his room was deafening with silence; the only sounds filling the hallways were sounds of your footsteps and shallow breathing.

Stepping inside his room, he motioned to one of the chairs in the corner of the room.

You broke the silence first, “what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Do you like being here?” he asks you, “Excuse me.”

“You have been here for years, but you have never trusted me or my decisions.” You try to stumble out the right words, “Sir, I do trust you.”

“Please call me Aleksander,” he says. Not many people in the little palace or Ravka have the luxury of knowing The Darkling’s real name. You grab hold of his hand, “Aleksander, I do trust you, but you don’t share anything with us, how can I trust you if I don’t know what’s going on.”

He grasps your hand back tightly, looking into your eyes, “I need you to trust me and my decisions at all times because you are one of the only people who knows how I feel. I’ve been feeling alone all my life, and I only want the best for my people, and sometimes those decisions are going to cause harm to others. Everything I do is for the benefit of the Grisha.”

Standing up abruptly, “who are you planning to hurt?” you ask curiously. “No one at the moment, but I need to know that you are supporting me at all times; I cannot have traitors following me,” he speaks out vulnerably.

You gently stroke his cheek, scared of his reaction fearing that you are stepping out of line, “I would never betray you. You have shown and given me everything; I’m finally not afraid of my own shadow.” He nods his head slowly; something unnoticeable becomes present in his eyes. He’s looking at you with eyes full of love, something neither of you has ever experienced. He grasps your face, trapping you with his hands. “Tell me that you trust me; I need this.”

“I trust you,” you breathe out, trying to reassure yourself and him. He leans forward, brushing his lips against yours, making you crave every inch of him. You close the small distance and connect your lips with his feeding your urges. His hands move to your waist, pulling you even closer than before as you both try to cure the loneliness you both have been feeling.

Wandering hands begin moving around your body, trying to feel every inch of you as you both fight for dominance, trying to have some kind of power over the other. There isn’t much of a fight because Aleksander always wins and gets what he wants.

You start to pull away to catch your breath, resting your head against his, “It’s getting late. You should head back to your room.” You nod your head before giving him one last kiss and leaving the room breathless of the events that happened.

Aleksander Morozova rests his head against the door, trying to find the feeling of guilt for lying to you and manipulating your emotions; however, nothing rises because everyone is a pawn in his plan.

[blues-valentine]

Alina + Ordinary Life

I think it’s beautiful how Alina ended up having the ordinary life she wanted for herself despite spending most of the trilogy thinking and being told she wouldn’t be able to have those things because of what she is. Because, Alina never wanted to be a saint or a queen (something that people still have trouble accepting), all she wanted was to live a simple life with the boy she loved. Darkling on Book 1 told her she could never have a ordinary life with Mal because he was nothing and that quote haunted her for the remaining books and there's several parragraphs to that on the books:

Some part of me hoped that this had all been a mistake, that the Darkling would realize his error and send me back to the regiment, that Mal would realize how much he’d missed me, that we’d grow old together in our meadow. - Shadow & Bone.

Just what kind of life do you think you could have with him, Alina? He’s otkazat’sya. He can never hope to understand your power, and if he did, he’d only come to fear you. There is no ordinary life for people like you and me. - Shadow & Bone.

There is no ordinary life for people like you and me. No ordinary life. Just battle and fear and mysterious crackling jolts that rocked us back on our heels. I’d spent so many years wishing to be the kind of girl that Mal could want. Maybe that wasn’t possible anymore. - Siege and Storm.

There is no ordinary life for people like you and me. My life would be allegiance instead of love, fealty instead of friendship. I would weigh each decision, consider every action, trust no one. It would be life observed from a distance. - Siege and Storm.

They wanted a Grisha queen. Mal wanted a commoner queen. And what did I want? Peace for Ravka. A chance to sleep easy in my bed without fear. An end to the guilt and dread that I woke to every morning. There were old wants too, to be loved for who I was, not what I could do, to lie in a meadow with a boy’s arms around me and watch the wind move the clouds. - Ruin and Rising.

They had an ordinary life, full of ordinary things—if love can ever be called that. - Ending for Ruin and Rising.

Alina ended up having her ordinary life sorrounded by peace, freedom, her meadow, waking up with the man she loves - and maybe she wakes up with nightmares about all the guilt and torture she endured by the hands of Darkling but at least she has her best friend and love of her life by her side, because she did end up marrying for love and friendship. And that's all she ever wanted and deserves.

[hqamore]

boreal star ✵ chapter six

now, he’s pissed off. general kirigan was going to get his sun summoner and blast all of ravka to hell. he was so close to reaching his goals and no one was going to stop him.

chapter genre: action

series pairing: [past?] aleksander morozova (general kirigan) x reader

word count: 2.2k

author’s babble: surprise! so soon? i know. i cranked this chapter because i finally decided how this series would end. enjoy and tell me your thoughts!

here’s the masterlist

three days, you and mal agreed on. you procrastinated for the first two. well, not really procrastinated. you purchased some food and extra layers in balakirev the first day. the second day, you made your way to ryevost. to your misfortune, you were almost caught by aleksander and his merry band of misfits. but, his attention was stolen by teenagers? it was certainly entertaining to see the grisha get outwitted by the bunch.

you waited until you couldn’t detect them anymore. swiftly and careful to hide your face, you made your way to tsibeya on the third day. by high noon, the white forest greeted you with light snowfall. about 5km in, two huddled teens came into view. the crisp sounds of your steps alerted them, their eyes darting to you.

“[y/n]?” alina stepped in front of mal in a defensive position, light drawn at the ready. you surrendered your hands as mal lightly pushed away hers.

“alina, i told you they were coming,” he said.

with some reluctance, the sun summoner lowered her hands and eyed her. “why would baghra send you? you arrived at the palace the same time as i did.”

you smiled, ignoring her question, and strode past them, only pausing for them to follow. mal slung his sack over his shoulder and gave alina’s hand a light squeeze before jogging ahead of you. “i’ll look out for the stag. but, it’d be better for all of us if you answered her questions,” he whispered. “she’s naturally curious and very stubborn.”

you sighed and slowed your pace, matching your strides with alina’s. “baghra and i have a mutual understanding, one that precedes the importance of the second army,” you said.

alina glanced at you warily. “which is?”

“the black heretic cannot gain any more power.”

her lips pursed. “but, you arrived at the same time i did,” she quipped, “and i still can’t do much.”

you offered a dry chuckle. “i guess i picked it up that much faster.”

silence fell between you two, the crunching snow and distance chirps of birds filling the air. you took this opportunity to take in alina’s appearance. she wore ill-fitted clothing that couldn’t have been providing any warmth. her profile was worn, sunken eyes accompanied by an angry blush from the cool temperature. you shrugged your coat off, leaving you in your kefta, and draped it over her shoulders. she looked at you in surprise which made you smile softly.

with this small bridge, you spoke. “it must’ve been difficult escaping the palace without help.”

alina sheepishly smiled as she tugged the coat on, shuddering in the extra warmth. “not really. i just snuck into the trunk of a carriage and waited until it stopped.”

“you snuck into a stranger’s carriage?” you raised in an eyebrow, mirth evident in your eyes.

“not my best idea, but i’m safe now!”

you laughed at her embarrassed look, causing mal to look back. you saw as his lips quirked when his eyes met alina’s blushing face. warmth spread in your heart as you witnessed his loving gaze, almost feeling as if you were intruding on a secret conversation. you peered at alina who just returned mal’s stare with a blinding smile native only to one alina starkov. you envied their relationship, wordlessly intimate and completely trusting. sadness stirred at the bottom of your heart, memories of hushed giggles and longing gazes bubbling. 

all lies, it was.

—

the sun was setting and, luckily, the three of you had already arrived where mal had last seen the stag. mal said he doubted that the stag moved on, leaving you guys to wait around.

brushing some snow off of a log, you sat and hugged your knees closer to conserve some warmth. alina and mal joined you, leaning into each other to share their body heat.

“when we find the stag, i need to be the one to kill it,” alina grimly stated.

mal looked down at her. “you’re a terrible shot. they made you a cartographer for a reason.”

you snickered as alina feigned offense and mal grinned unapologetically. “besides, i thought we weren’t killing it,” the tracker said, glancing at you. alina’s forehead scrunched in confusion when she turned to you.

a puff of fog appeared as you let out a sigh. “we’re not. unless absolutely necessary.”

“if we don’t, kiri—”

“i have a plan, alina,” you interrupted. “all we need to do is guide the stag away. with a combination of your abilities and mine, it’ll be fairly easy.”

“that won’t stop him from finding it,” alina protested.

you gently placed a hand on alina’s head. “that’s why, once we get it out of fjerdan territory, i’m taking it to the wandering isle. the distance will prevent aleksander from coming for it personally and give me more time to work out a permanent solution.”

she stayed silent for a moment, mulling over your plan, before she frowned. “aleksander.”

your head tilted questioningly when her body faced you, a serious look on her face. “how do you know his name?” she asked.

sucking in a deep breath, you realized you had relaxed too soon. her sharp eyes trained on you as you rubbed your face. mal remained confused, leaning forward to observe the two of you.

“it’s difficult not to know the name of your warden,” you replied.

“warden?”

you debated whether or not to tell alina the complete truth, but you threw caution into the wind and exhaled. “my arrival at the palace was not the first time i had been there. some time ago, i actually called that place home. but, one day, i woke up from the false reality and escaped from the place that was, retrospectively, my prison.”

too intelligent, alina connected the dots in record time. “you’re the lover the servants talked about,” she said breathily. “the person baghra thought would change him.”

a bitter smile danced on your lips. “i’m not sure if he loved me as i did him, but i would’ve hung the stars if he asked me to.”

alina clasped your hand in hers, offering a weak smile. you returned it before continuing. “i met him about four-hundred years ago, when he was hiding from the crown. i was young and enchanted. i believed in everything he wanted for grisha and became his willing accomplice.

“when he returned to the palace, i followed. when he locked me in my room, i complied. as naive as i was, i was in love,” you paused to glance at the pair in front of you, reminded of their small moments that paralleled your memories.

“i was in love...” you trailed, staring at your lap as your chest panged dully. you shook yourself out of your daze and cleared your throat. “no matter, i saw him for the crazed tyrant he was and, when i found out you had been discovered, i returned to thwart his plans.”

faint rustling drew mal’s attention away, the tracker slowly stepping towards the source. alina’s eyes followed him as did yours. after a few seconds, he turned. “that way.”

like meerkats, you and alina shot up and crept beside mal. his eyes darted around the clearing you were approaching and, there in all its glory, was the stag. the three of you stopped at a safe distance when it turned to look in your direction.

you started laying out the plan. “okay. alina, you need to—”

“wait,” alina said, stepping forward, with her eyes trained on the stag. “i— i’ve been seeing it in these visions ever since i arrived at the palace. i don’t know why, but i think it’s been trying to reach out to me.”

then, the stag walked towards alina who took several more steps. she gingerly reached her hand out and the stag met her with its snout. light erupted from them and alina let out soft laughs, basking in the warmth of the light. you softly gasped at the sight. it chose—

suddenly, an arrow shot the stag, causing it to lurch away from alina in pain. she tumbled backwards as people rushed in from all sides. mal raised his gun and shot at the bowman, knocking him down. he swiftly notched an arrow in his bow, prepared to shoot the stag, when a strong wind forced it out of his hand. you turned and was faced with a familiar-looking squaller. you loosened gravity’s hold on her and forced her to float. when you were about to fling her away, a grunt sounded behind you.

“mal!”

your focus disappeared; you pivoted to see mal embedded with an arrow, effectively dropping zoya and incapacitating her. you went to help him when an intense pressure hit your chest, your heart beating erratically. it forced you onto your knees next to mal. your heart was pounding in your ear before it stopped.

bright flashes threw off the heartrender and bowman. you greedily breathed in air as alina darted to mal. you could hear the snap of the arrow followed by mal’s agonizing scream. glancing up, your vision slightly blurred, you saw shadows gathering behind you. at the sound of a billowing cloak, you rushed to create a gravitational downforce around you, not allowing anyone to move. you slowly stood up, facing aleksander with a glare.

he let out a haughty laugh. “i should’ve known you would be with her.”

“alina, i need you to get to the stag,” you commanded.

“but, mal! he’s— he’s dying!”

you glanced behind you to see her applying pressure on his wounds. thoughts raced in your mind before settling on one solution. “i promise you he won’t so long as you follow my instructions.”

desperation evident in her eyes, alina could only nod.

“get to the stag and shield us on my count.”

you inhaled deeply. “3, 2, 1!”

alina ran for the stag and created a barrier. you dove under it before it separated you from the others. outside of it, aleksander found himself free to move. creeping closer, he called out. “you can’t save them, alina. you may have the power of light but not the power to heal.”

alina’s resolve wavered as her eyes flicker to mal. “don’t listen to him, alina! i promised you, didn’t i?” you reassured.

alina bit her lip as she kept up the barrier. you made mal float and pulled him closer to the stag. you gently set him down and reached for the stag. it groaned and flailed in protest.

“i know i’m not your chosen, but please. i must heal him and then i can heal you,” you whispered.

the stag quieted and allowed you to touch it. with one hand on the stag, you hovered the other near mal’s wound.

“i’m sorry, mal, but this is gonna hurt like hell.”

you manipulated time on his body. blood slowly returned to the wound whilst the arrow pieced itself together, ripping itself out of him afterwards. mal let out a painful howl before the wound stitches itself back together, like no arrow had been there in the first place. as he recovered, you quickly moved around to the other side of the stag.

“i see you’ve been busy,” aleksander said sharply.

rage gathered in the pit of your stomach when you shot a glare at aleksander. “and you’ve been a complete fool. after all this time, you still can’t get it through your thick skull that morozova’s amplifiers have to choose you,” you spat.

you returned your attention to the stag’s wound. you murmured an apology before you worked on it. it whined through the pain but stilled once you finished. your hands trembled as you shakily pushed yourself off the ground. the stag stirred and stood on its legs, causing alina to follow in suit. you ran your hand through its fur and whispered. “just once more, friend.”

as if it reads your mind, it knelt before alina. you looked at her, mal now standing beside her.

“you two, get on.”

alina gave you a bewildered look. you returned it with a pleading one. without protest, she and mal both mounted the stag. then, it rose, looking towards you. you leaned your forehead against its snout. “take them far from here.”

you stepped to the side and took alina’s hand. “now, i only have so much energy left to keep them here. so, ride fast.”

“what? you’re not coming with us?” alina’s jaw dropped.

you offered her a melancholic smile. “please, if i have to witness anymore of your loving gazes, i’ll become a bitter spinster,” you teased before growing serious. “alina, keep the shield up until you’ve left fjerdan territory. only make it as big as it has to be. mal, you’re going to have to make sure she doesn’t fall off.”

you let go of her hand and gave mal a nod. inching away from them, you approached the center of the field, barely covered by alina’s light. you glanced back and jerked your head, signaling them to leave. you immobilized aleksander and his men once more, allowing alina and mal to slip through and disappear into the winter night. despite your raging headache, you kept your focus until you couldn’t see the light. you collapsed, the snow cushioning your fall. your vision blurred as you heard footsteps approach you.

“we’ll find them eventually.”

you squinted at your former lover. “no, i don’t think you will, aleks.”

aleksander crouched down and whispered in your ear. “i should kill you where you lay.”

“be my guest. you are well within your rights, general kirigan,” you taunted.

he sneered. “out of respect for our past, i won’t. but, you will be my prisoner.”

“what’s new?” you asked before promptly passing out.

taglist (couldn’t tag the ones in bold): @kykymyeon @shelivesindaydreamswme @blackbirddaredevil23 @amortentiaaaa @safetyhtom @savannah-elliott @deceivedeer @gloriousmoneyrascalbiscuit @sarcastic-and-cool @supersouthy @let-love-bleeds-red @andwhatofthelight @all-art-is-quite-useless​ @mixed-imagination​ @ashdab2611​ @aria-grace-scott​ @multifandom-addict​ @aleksanderwh0r3​ @p3nny4urth0ught5​ @kirigansgf​ @evyiione​ @theoutsidelandhere​ @wizardwheezes​ @partiesandblurrypolaroids​ @pansysgirlfriend​ @takethee​ @imrann123456 @rachellovesharry

author’s babble pt.2: ohoho! can you believe they did that? now, you may be wondering why [y/n] is able to manipulate time. it has to do with spacetime being 4 dimensional and the complexity that comes with the concept of gravity. a bit wibbly wobbly timey wimey (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

continue to chapter seven? yes