#in this case. it has been difficult

[petewentzisblack1312]

Gabe is engaging with people on twitter now too. Not even sure where to start with all he’s said on there in the past couple of hours. It’s a lot.

i am opening up twitter as i type this. and i dont think ill like what i see, but i think i should see it anyway.

read some of his replies. and its not as bad as i thought. which doesnt. mean. its good. i also dont know where to start. the idea that taking down the misinformation on your social media page with a huge platform is back pedaling. the weight he places on the icj finishing their ruling when theyve already proven that its a genocide in everything but intent yet. i havent gone through everything. i think itd be difficult to sort through it all myself. its technically an improvement in that he has repeatedly acknowledged the devastation of gaza. i guess. not really.

like i said in my tags, if were being completely real. hes not going to be yelled out of this by people he doesnt know on twitter. as someone who has changed some minds and hearts, the most effective way to do involves knowing them and being respected by them first and foremost. people dont logic their way into positions like this. especially in this case.

i have thoughts but i feel like theyll be muddled, so ill stop on this for now. my point is. i think he needs to log off and someone who loves him and respects him enough to check him on stuff like this needs to have a hard conversation with him. and i do think there should he social consequences to his terrible and cowardly views too, but direct confrontation from a bunch of people he doesnt know probably isnt going to hold that weight.

its sickening though that somehow just. seeing whats happened in the past few months hasnt made it click yet that its more than a 'war'. somehow. though.

[canisalbus]

As a survivor of abuse I relate to Machete so much. I've always felt unclean for no reason except being told I was unclean, and it made me feel worthless or revolting by default. Like, no matter what I did I would be filthy and unpleasant to be around.

Seeing that he can be loved, makes me feel like maybe I could be loved too.

.

[undead-moth]

I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?

I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.

Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.

Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.

[keepswingin]

"How many fingers am I holding up? ... I don't have six fingers." —skz

"Fuck," Seungmin spits, fear nearly choking him as he pulls the prince closer to him. This wasn't supposed to happen, not like this, not because of him. "Jeongin-yah, look at me."

The prince's eyes had closed after his mumble of an answer, and he's not responding to anything else. Seungmin has never felt so terrified in his life.

He's ruined everything, let every single lie he's told been seen, and now the one person who was meant to pay the price from the very beginning has left a mark on Seungmin's life that he won't be able to replace.

What has he done?

"Jeongin," he calls again, louder this time, one palm pushing hard against his cheek in an attempt to wake him back up.

Rain drips from his hair, mixing with the blood that sits at the top of the prince's clothes, watercolor against his pale skin. Seungmin's chest hitches, and the sob that tears from his throat is nearly inhuman.

"Jeongin, please," he begs, thunder swallowing his words and spitting them back out until it's the only thing he can feel. He thinks he's crying. He thinks he would rip his heart out and offer it to the sky on a silver platter if it would reverse time. He thinks he would give his life to go back and stand in Jeongin's place before the younger could beat him to it.

The blade was meant for him, after all.

The shouting from the castle has grown quieter as soldiers march into the distance after a culprit that's long made his leave, unaware that the threat to the crown sits within their own ranks, an imposter from the very start. Seungmin has never thought himself dangerous, but for some reason he feels deadly, sitting here with someone's life hovering in his hands.

He looks to the wound again.

He's tried to clot it the best he could, but between the rain and what's already been stained, it's hard for him to tell if it looks any better. Jeongin needs to wake back up for him to have any type of hope in this situation.

He hates this. Hates himself for not seeing what his people were planning, the way they were so eager to use him as a red herring because that's all he's ever been good for. Was it ever a home, if he was simply used because he was smarter than the rest?

You know, you could stay. If you wanted.

Seungmin leans forward, and presses his forehead to Jeongin's. His heart is beating fast, and the rain doesn't slow. One hand clutches at the torn sleeve of Jeongin's shirt like it can anchor him as he closes his eyes and tries to breathe.

It can't end like this. Anything but this.

I don't belong here.

"Innie," he whispers, desperate. "Wake up. Please wake up. Come back." He hesitates, his next words on the tip of his tongue. Is he allowed to say such a thing, when all he's done is lie? Jeongin doesn't know who he really is.

If he looks close enough at himself, Seungmin doesn't think he knows who he really is either.

"Come back to me."

The next bout of thunder feels like it shakes him down to his very core. The sky is alight with a branching bolt of lightning. There's shouts closer to where they rest, just outside the prince's window. If he lifted his head, he'd be able to see the royal lien blowing in the storm's breeze, curtains curled around the windowsill. Maybe they've finally realized who the real threat is, and how he's holding the prince like he's something that's about to break.

I think that you do.

"I'm sorry for everything, Innie. I'm sorry for lying. I'm sorry for not being who you think I am. I'm sorry for - for getting you hurt."

He can see the blade clear in his mind's eye, the moment replaying over and over. Jeongin's hard glare at the stranger suddenly before them, inching closer to Seungmin and spitting nonsense.

Jeongin stepping in front of Seungmin without hesitation.

Jeongin's quiet gasp, the stutter of his breath. His hands clutching at the wound as if that alone would be enough to stop the blood flow. Seungmin moving to catch him before he hits the ground, arms wrapping desperately around his waist, shock propelling him forward.

"Your people need you, Innie," he whispers, the words poison against his throat. The same people who had run him from his home, the same kingdom that had looked at him like was no better than the very dirt on the ground - but no, not Jeongin.

Jeongin was different than his people, and he was different than the king. He was kind, and curious, and greeted strangers with an open palm. He was the change everyone was afraid of, the change Seungmin's people didn't understand and feared.

The change he was supposed to kill.

"I need you, Innie," he murmurs, heart pounding. He lifts his head and stares down at him like the words themselves will reanimate him, and waits. One heartbeat. Two. Three.

You don't know anything about me, your highness.

"Get away from him!"

Arms callously wrap around him from behind and violently yank him back, Jeongin's sister shrieking his name as she falls to the her knees beside his limp body, her nightgown smearing with dirt and gravel.

She's shaking her brother's shoulder far too roughly, Seungmin thinks, before he's thrown backwards, face hitting the ground. The storm grows worse as he's held there, arms wretched painfully in a way they shouldn't twist, rope tied tightly around his wrists. Maybe they'll hogtie him and leave him out here to drown in the storm.

He'd deserve it, wouldn't he?

His sister turns to Seungmin, tears streaking down her cheeks. "What did you do?" she cries, holding her brother close to her chest. His blood stains the front of her gown. Seungmin's stomach churns. "Tell me what you did to him," she all but begs, hiccuping, far from the prim and posed princess she is supposed to be. "Please!"

Mud and tears clog his throat. His chest heaves with a breath he cannot push out. The guards don't bother to pull him up, instead sending for the doctor who lives on the cusp of the village, far out of reach.

"Seungmin-ah!" his sister shouts amongst a clash of thunder. "They'll hang you for this! Don't you care?"

She stares at him, lips trembling. The cold has chilled Seungmin by now too, his own limbs borderline numb. Or maybe he's just shutting down now that he's failed the one person who meant something to him.

Seungmin's eyes slip back to Jeongin's face. His sister isn't covering him well enough, rain trickling across his lax features, the sharp curve of his jaw.

Seungmin would cover him.

"Not about myself," he whispers as the prince's sister turns back to him, shaking him once more.

He closes his eyes, and wonders what Jeongin would think, when all was said and done. Would he be kind still? Or nurture a hatred even Seungmin couldn't touch?

"Take him away," the princess sobs, curling closer to her brother. "Please."

Jeongin's soft laughter rings in his ears, a memory he can't forget. The knowing curve of his smile, the brush of his warm fingers against Seungmin's skin. The words he whispered after leaning in close to his ear, almost as if they were meant for just the two of them.

I think I know just enough.

[lovelyisadora]

Also when sep restarts his apprenticeship is he like. Okay so you rlly did cut out a lot of stuff huh. Wtf were u going to if I finished the apprenticeship. And marcia's like idk I didn't think that far ahead. Or like. What happens andjdndjfn I need More

quick context because this has been in my inbox for at least two years but this is about the apprenticeship arrangement in rewrite au (at least I am like 95 percent sure it is).

if Septimus had actually finished the apprenticeship, he wouldn’t have been able to take over as extraordinary wizard because of how she modified it to be age appropriate and because he went into it with little to no experience with or knowledge of magyk (in rewrite au, the extraordinary apprenticeship is more of an elite position; if the purpose is to train potential extraordinary wizards, then only apprentices who are top of their magyk classes or programs are considered). Marcia was never going to have him take over so young, but without the proper training, he couldn’t have taken over ever. so since she didn’t have a plan and never thought that far ahead anyway, and because the arrangement was always about his day to day functioning, she really was just figuring it out as she went (with no help from Silas or Sarah, but only because Marcia is the extraordinary wizard; the apprenticeship hiding the fact that she is his legal guardian is hers to figure out as far as they are concerned).

the hardest part, since she did want him to take over eventually, would have been keeping the arrangement a secret and finding how to prepare him in a way that qualified him without him realizing what was really going on. she would have pushed him to higher education, would have found ways to introduce new books and extra lessons and spells in a way that didn’t clue him in that she was teaching him the way he should have always been taught. anything, so that when she was ready and he expressed interest in replacing her, it could happen. but because he doesn’t have the easiest apprenticeship even modified as it is, none of this happens. it all falls apart because it wasn’t sustainable, but also because he wasn’t ready and neither was she (which she did warn Silas and Sarah about).

she tells him this, after the first three months of his restarted apprenticeship, but only when he asks. because he knew, after they finally talked about it when it all fell apart that the actual apprenticeship was different, but he hadn’t realized just how much. he’s taking magyk classes because Marcia warned him she wasn’t going to bridge his gap in knowledge. he would be more than prepared for some of it, but nowhere near ready for a lot of it. if he was serious about recommitting to the extraordinary apprenticeship then the extraordinary apprenticeship was what he was getting, nothing less, and he needs do the work he missed on his own. Marcia is also Marcia, so she pushes him harder and expects more of him than other extraordinary wizards might have expected of their apprentices if they were in this situation. his first three months are very difficult as a result and he starts realizing that being the extraordinary wizard is a lot harder than it looks, that the work required to get to that position is harder than he thought, and he’s like, oh my god, Marcia, were you going to throw me into that without any of this?

telling him the second part of it, that she still wouldn’t have told him about the arrangement had he finished his original apprenticeship, is almost as hard as it would have been to cover it up. he really does not like hearing that Marcia still would have lied by omission and kept it from him. he thinks that he would have deserved to know, had he not found out by accident when it fell apart.

Marcia ends the conversation there though, to his frustration, because there’s no point in talking about what would have been. he knows now. he’s doing the apprenticeship now, the right way. they’ve already discussed the arrangement, at length. they don’t need to discuss it any further.

except they do, because they resolved it without resolving it. if Marcia kept this from him, if she would have continued to keep this from him, what else must she be keeping from him? he never fully trusts her again.

[sesamenom]

Quick hand sketch that turned into elrond with athelas water

I always forget to draw him with it but I headcanon him having pretty bad burn scars on his right arm/side from the kinslaying

[sailforvalinor]

"We need not look anywhere but to the eyes of our Savior for our true identity, an identity which is profoundly complex, unfathomable, deep as the sea, and yet can be boiled down to one little word: beloved. That's it. And that's why it's so silly (and perilous) to use your gifting to clothe yourself with meaning. Those clothes will never quite fit.

I once heard someone suggest that in the new creation, the work of our hands will at last be equal to what we were able to imagine. But in the meantime, living as we do in dying bodies in a dying world, our best work always falls short of the initiating vision. Toil and trouble, thistle and thorn, we push through the brush and come out bloody on the other side, only to realize we've ascended a false peak. It's difficult, yes. But it doesn't change a thing about who we are."

-Andrew Peterson, Adorning the Dark

[smile-files]

I have a little piece so far

AAAAAAAAUGH EXPLODES!!!!

also i've been thinking about that series of drawings you made of henry being kissed and reacting to it... like there's all the henry angst there of course but oh my goddd the dalston angst? he kisses henry only for henry to seem repulsed by it?? oh that would break his heart... i'm sure you've thought about that yourself though

[doctorweebmd]

i don't think i'll ever get over the comedic timing of being prepared to intubate an obtunded patient going into worse and worse shock on three pressors code cart in room pads on having like six people all staring at the vitals anxiously as this person might code at ANY MOMENT, me standing at the head of the bed ready to tube the second we have a safe BP and the nurse from two doors down comes into the room and says, 'hey doc, room x is in asystole' and just. walks away.

i'm just. standing there. peri-coding this patient. and i'm calling after him 'uh.... are they supposed to be?!'

absolutely insane delivery. no context no info just 'hey, btw this person's heart stopped. :) bye ' HELLO!?!

[disastergenius]

you know, for all the complaints that "Campaign 3 is not a simple YA story with clear cut morals and choices," Imogen sure is built like a YA protagonist

[moe-broey]

In a kinder world there would be reality home/life makeover shows about trans people who need to get rid of all the incompatible/undesired gendered shit they've ever accumulated in their entire lives and also just stuff that doesn't suit their personal tastes anymore in general and then they get their entire shit rocked from home decor to fashion to general presentation if needed. This could work for freshly out trans people who are exploring themselves and can also work for the fucker who's been trans for fucking years but for some god forsaken reason he still has the pastel cartoon flower bedsheets he's had since he was fucking five. Please he has a mullet and facial hair and exclusively wears black band tees sweatpants and accents of dark green can somebody fucking save him. I want a goth bedroom with dark green accents. Please

[the-oracle-of-the-lost]

it's been said before and it'll be said again but the narrative that disabled people with long term chronic illnesses need to just get over it and get used to being in pain is deeply frustrating while temporary illnesses are often (though of course not always) given more leniency & support just because those illnesses are abnormal and will usually get better. like i had a cold all last week and felt a little bit shit but aside from blowing my nose a lot and being a bit more sleepy – i was perfectly functional, didn't need any help or support, and barely noticed i was sick. but today i'm sick with migraine which i routinely get several of a month and hurt my thumb pretty badly because of my joint problems and there's none of the "just take it easy and rest!" or "is there anything i can do to help?" or anything that's usually offered when i have the sort of viral illnesses that able-bodied people can relate to. when in reality – having a headache so bad that it's difficult to think and gets worse when i do literally anything and my thumb joint being too unstable to use is much more disabling than any cold symptom i've ever experienced.

it's such a sharp divide and it really fucking sucks that just because pain is chronic, suddenly a lot of people assume that it means it's easier to deal with or not as big of a deal when in my experience it's the exact opposite.

[readymades2002]

rewatching gravityfalls since its the topic du jour and running into the exact same hurdle i did when it was airing which is simply aggressively not caring about ford and his associated stuff

[peak-dumbass]

The statements “Larry Butz is much more interesting and important than fans give him credit for, especially at the end of AA1 as Phoenix and Miles’ childhood best friend & with his witness testimony saving Miles from a guilty verdict as well as at the end of AA3 where he is shown genuinely trying to improve himself as a person as Laurice Deauxnim” and “Larry Butz is hard for most people to stand because of his consistent weird moments in AA3 which, along with his constant failing-to-get-with-woman jokes throughout both games, can get annoying and borderline intolerable for some people” are not mutually exclusive.

I really am interested in Larry as a character but god it’s impossible for me to see him as anything other than comedic-relief-that-isn’t-comedic-nor-relieving, I really don’t feel bad when Phoenix is slightly rude towards him cuz I would act the same, if not worse

[lieutenantselnia]

This week are the final exams at Austrian high schools and even though it's already been a couple years since I've been through that myself, I still follow this one meme page on Instagram where the students always send in memes afterwards relating to the exams, like where they make fun of weird exam questions or let out their frustrations about bad task descriptions and such. I don't know, it's somehow kind of entertaining to try figure out what the given topics were only based on the memes😂

[moripartylove]

Decided NOT to have my sentinel lymphnodes removed, wish me luck that I won't regret this decision 😬