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sarahali199x · 2 years

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The Weirdos and Normals I Loved Chapter 19

19./42 H, a long love Warning: Sexual text, incest, cheating, paedophilia I was in the 6th grade and I was 18, it was 201X. I was a big fan of Evangelion then, and was in a facebook group for Evangelion fans. There I got to know H.. We started talking on facebook. She sent a lot. One day she sent me: 'I'm in love with… a chair.' This made me suspect that she was in love with me.

I first arranged to meet her for an Evangelion Fan Christmas Meet. H. was wearing a shoulder strap, she had an operation on her shoulder and it needed to heal. She already knew everyone in the group. After the meet I thought I'd meet up with her. I literally asked my parents and brother if they could leave that day, damn what a guts I had back then. They went to see a movie. It was snowing when we met. I told her I had autism and she said 'Yes, I already had the feeling that something was special about you.' I told them I had two mothers and she liked that for some reason. She later said that this made me grow up with respect for women. We were alone in the couch downstairs and there I spilled the beans: "I must confess something, I think I'm madly in love with you." We chatted a little further, but she was going to wait before starting a relationship. We kissed, a French kiss, and she bit my lip if I kissed too fast, that was actually hot. She also tended to lick my cheek for fun. After our first meeting alone I had written a text it went something like this:

We spoke a few times. I said I thought she was in love with me because she sent so much, but she sent a lot of messages to everyone and made that "I'm in love with….a table" joke towards a lot of people

After a while, H. said 'Yes'. We were finally in a relationship. We had sex in my room, I finally lost my virginity! At eighteen! Now I know it doesn't matter, some people are virgins, others have sex every week with someone else, to each their own. I couldn't cum inside her, but I jerked off afterwards.

I remember how Joris always jealously said "puppy love" He was wrong at first because our relationship lasted 5 years. But in the end he was right, we were both still young and had a lot to growing to do, ….growing apart.

As I said, H. wore a shoulder strap. Something had happened before I met her. She was on the bus with Josefien to go to school, and she was already standing upright to leave the bus.

A rich woman in a BMW suddenly drove from the parking lot, forcing the bus to brake abruptly. H. flew forward and fell to the ground. She called the 100 (Belgian 911) and then called her father and said 'My dislocated is shoulder! My dislocated is shoulder! Her father didn't understand. H. was panicking completely. Josefien said: 'Don't you mean: Your shoulder is dislocated?' H. was taken to the hospital, her shoulder 'clicked' back in like a piece of machinery, like a Bionicle toy. Her muscles were partially torn. She suffered from mild chronic pain all her life because of this. It was a huge battle with the insurance as well, they didn't want to pay her anything so they let the case drag on for so long, hoping H. would give up. There was going to be a lawsuit. She had to show her shoulder and her back in a room with a lot of experts where she had to take off her bra. She really didn't like that. They also did an examination to see if her nerve was damaged. They taped an electrical wire to her arm and sent shocks through it. She was in no pain, but her arm was moving up and down and she was crying. 'I felt exactly like an experiment.' It was a shame, because of her arm she could not finish her art studies. She studied at REDACTED ART-SCHOOL in REDACTED TOWN for a Bachelors Degree in Arts (Higher Education). Her shoulder made it difficult for her to operate the printing machines. She had also created abstract works, but because of this, the teachers felt that she could not work in themes. As a result, she had to stop her studies. She then did a teacher training course, but more about this later. She had to undergo multiple surgeries on her shoulder. Her life was changed forever. And that Karen who just drove in front of a bus didn't notice, and won't notice. That Karen will never know she made someone's life shittier, forever.

I remember the first time I visited H.'s home. She lived in 'the middle of nowhere', right next to a cafe, in the far nothingness. It was part of a municipality that didn't even have a station, it was that hidden. It was an hour's drive by car, two hours by public transport! First, I had to take a train and then a bus, or two buses in succession. The worst part was that the train and first bus drove past the municipality, so I always took a big detour. Both H. and I did not have a driver's license at the time. Now, I still don't understand how we could stay together for so long, but oh well. I was at her house and we played on the Wii first, the only time we actually gamed at her house. I kept asking if we could go to her room, but she said 'no'. We ended up going to her room and had sex. She did say I was asking for it too much, which was weird for her parents. Her father had a big walrus moustache, which made it difficult for me to take him seriously. H. thought this was terrible of me. Every time I said something negative about her parents she became upset. She's not her parents, is she? And when I tried to explain it, she only got angrier, so I dropped the subject. The same went for her neighbourhood. I said her neighbourhood was sleazy, just as my city could be sleazy. She was then angry at me 'Oh, you think I'm sleazy?' "No, I think your neighbourhood is sleazy, they make noise and keep us up all night." "Yeah, but you're generalizing again, you're rude to people living in poverty."

Sorry, a lot of people use sleazy when talking about the lower classes, but I use sleazy as in 'rude' and if someone is behaving 'rude' it is sleazy. A homeless person who sleeps outside is not sleazy, he can't help it. A well-known singer who beats up his wife, or a man with a red Ferrari who stops at a shop to pee against the shop's window are sleazy. H. therefore lived in a sleazy neighbourhood. It used to be quiet there, but next to her house someone had set up a café 'The FourClover' every time the owner was some crook who sooner or later ended up in prison, so there was always a different owner. 'The FourClover' was nicknamed 'The JailClover'. Because of the noise H.'s mother kept calling the police, but whenever the police arrived, the cafe turned the music down, only to turn it back on once the police had left. As a result, H.'s mother was seen as the witch of the village. It wasn't just that. She used to keep a 'Frituur' open, a chip shop, were she sold Belgian fries. They ate fries every day, making her mother, H. and her father fat. Her mother in particular suffered from it so much that she could no longer work and had to have a few back operations. Only her brother and sister had survived the Belgian Fries Era without becoming obese. Her sister was young, she was 13, when I first saw her.

Another reason why H.'s mother was called the witch was because she hated cats. H. had the luxury of living among cats, but neither she nor her mother liked them. Instead of enjoying all the feline love and free cat cuddles, they were upset because a cat occasionally pooped in the yard. The owner of the cats often lost a cat and searched for it with food 'Minnie, Minnie!' she cried, which got on H.'s nerves. Her mother called the police to have the cats taken away, but the owner was always angry and said to the police that those cats were hers. But when the mother sued that woman for nuisance, that woman said "but those cats aren't mine!" Her mother fastened glass shards with cement to the top of the wall, which acted as a gate, to scare the cats away, but the cats just sat, along and on the shards. Sometimes one of the cats walked into the house, and you should know, H.'s house was a high house with many floors, it used to be a hotel. As soon as the mother saw a cat, she threw it out the window from the top floor. One of the cats she'd thrown from the top floor was meowing in pain in the street until someone took the poor animal to the vet. She really was a witch, the witch of the village.

I loved H. She was sweet, warm and soft. She took my flaws into account and accepted me as I was. And we both loved Evangelion. Even before I was in 6th grade, I decided to go to REDACTED ART-SCHOOL where she also studied. So we had that in common as well. She had even given her old courses that allowed me to learn the lessons before I even had those lessons. I had a bit of a head start. I went to family parties. She had a big family, and the family parties lasted a long time, sometimes about 5 hours. I would take material with me to study, but that was sometimes difficult. She, her sister, niece and I used to play board games then.

The family thought I was weird, but I told jokes and they thought I was nice. They did ask H. "Is there something wrong with that boy?" and she said, 'Yes, he has autism.'

Warning, this paragraph contains descriptions of child sexual abuse. H. also told about her ex. Johnny. He was very sweet at first, but afterwards his dark side revealed itself. H. was only 16, but Johnny was already 24. He had epilepsy and was afraid of snakes. Despite this, he drank a lot, which caused him to have seizures and whenever he had a seizure, he blamed H. They sometimes went to the movies, but whenever a snake appeared in the movie, he left with H. and blamed her again. One evening he confessed to H. that he was a paedophile, showing her his "carefully curated child porn collection". He said that "Its okay, because for children, it's like "a game"". One video was of a child in a buggy, she was wearing a skirt with her diaper underneath. There was another video, in which an eight-year-old girl and her dad. She, well, she gave a blowjob. The girl looked angry. Obviously, Johnny had a sick mind. Towards the end of the relationship, they often quarrelled. Johnny went looking to buy a house near her neighbourhood. H. came to visit for his birthday, but they argued and then he threw a plate towards her face, luckily H. was able to avoid it. Then it was over. Johnny sent his mother to H. His mother had to beg H. to go back to Johnny. Mr. Johnny was a pathetic manipulator, his poor mom had to do his dirty work. I then thought "Ah, finally a woman who can distinguish bad men from good men, and had chosen a good man; me!" I had absolutely no idea how moronic and toxic I was then.

When H. and I had a date, it was always for a reason, and I thought that was a shame. We could never just be together, have sex and cuddle in bed for a long time. It was as if H. had to have an excuse every time so we could be together. I had to go with all her friends, girlfriends and family. I always tried to keep some time in my agenda free because I never knew when H. wanted to meet and I was not allowed to cancel 'too many' things or H. would be angry.

H. also told about her neighbourhood. She used to play there with her friends, but they have grown apart. Those friends were pretty sleazy. The brother and sister had had sex when they were teenagers, and the sister had become pregnant. The child was born with mental impairment and a physical deformity. Their mother and father pretended it was their child, but the whole neighbourhood knew the dark truth.

The end of each year was extremely difficult this period. I had exams and always lost a lot of time with the holidays. Each party was celebrated several times at H.'s family. I had to spend Christmas with all her family AND then separately, because they are "heathen" and that father couldn't be at the first family party because of his work. AND then I had to spend another Christmas with my family. Then suddenly it was New Years, which I always had to celebrate with her and her friends AND then I had to go back to the big family New Years party.

The next section is about sexuality and death, so you can safely skip this one: H. also had someone in her family who wanted to become pregnant. Her husband happened to work in a morgue. She was heavily pregnant, but she was in tremendous pain. The doctor looked shocked, she had worms. She told this to her husband, and her husband confessed: He had sex with corpses. He had thus acquired worms and infected his wife and unborn child. The child died before birth. The woman and the man, of course, separated.

H. had to take medication for her shoulder at one point. She had strange dreams because of this. In one dream she had a nightmare that her friend Josefien and I were completely ignoring her.

H.'s uncle, Frank, once ran a café. The cafe actually belonged to someone else; his boss. That boss made false promises. He said that the uncle would get the cafe if he worked hard enough. He had to work overtime and sometimes did not get his wages. It was a situation he had to get out of.

H. also had a girlfriend she hated. She had a YouTube channel and made vlogs. H. didn't understand that exactly. "She always films herself, what a big ego she has!" There was something special about H.'s family. As if you weren't allowed to be too much of an individual. Her brother once had a group project in higher education. And as with all group projects, you always have just one person doing all the work and the rest sitting lazily in their couch gaming and eating chips. The brother had to do all the work but this was too much for one person. So he stole the code from another group and tweaked it a bit so he could succeed. The school saw this afterwards, and he failed that task. Such things happen, but it was so strange that all H.'s family, kept talking about it. Again, again and again they told this story and they said "He has no sense of guilt, he has no sense of guilt". What should he do? Cry? Give himself 26 lashes?

Her brother always put too much garbage in the garbage can. He always complained to H. "You change the bags in the garbage bags too quickly! Those bags are expensive! If you live alone you will have to pay a lot!"

"Look, I'll show you how to do it!" he then rolled up his sleeves and, with a big smile, pushed the trash down. Unfortunately, the bag would tear each time, and rotten milk or other foul-smelling juice would drip from the poor garbage bag. It was a scene that kept repeating itself.

My family, H. and I once went to Budapest for a few days. I had found all kinds of nice places through Atlas Obscura, such as the Michael Jackson tree, etc. We also visited a cave church that was hidden in a mountain. Budapest is a beautiful city, hills covered with colourful houses.

During my studies, art project in higher education, I went to France with my class. It was only for a week or two, but it seemed like an eternity. It was the first time I went abroad "alone", and my French was bad. I camped there with my class. I felt lonely there. There was a girl from REDACTED ART-SCHOOL I talked too and she gave me a hug, but after that trip we stopped chatting. There was also a lesbian girl she was chubby but beautiful. She sat on my lap. Another girl said I was a player, and I was honestly amazed and said "Player? I wouldn't even know how to do that?" I was just a lonely boy who always looked for affection.

The Evangelion fan group also organized camps for the Evangelion fans. We were with 20 to 30 members. We rented a room and dormitory somewhere in the woods. We played games and so on. The organizers had experience in the scouts, so they could handle the responsibility. This happened three times, once a year. The last 2 times H. was a member of the organizers together with Josefien. It was fun. The group consisted mainly of girls, and to sleep in one big room full of women is a dream that, for many, will never come true! Nothing happened, I was together with H. I had also jokingly 'fought' with a girl, whoever got the other in the ground first won, she was stronger than me. Quite a nice experience to be dominated by a woman…. We also did a water balloon fight, all the women were wearing bathing suits or bikinis. We had a lot of fun. We also watched shooting stars, together. There is a group of meteorites that are always visible around the same period, so you can see shooting stars. H. and I lay on the ground together with everyone else, watching the white stripes that occasionally sparked in the black sky. You saw a little sparkle, and as soon as you looked at it, it was already too late. It's a very special experience. My love and I held hands. It was beautiful.

There was a point during dinner when I didn't have enough with one plate so I took a little more. H. was mad at me then because apparently the food was running out. I felt like a little child being punished. Next time I always took some food from home. You probably think I'm fat, but no, I weigh 76kg but I have a tummy, yes.

Afterwards, H. said that two people had sex in the woods. Everyone acted like this was something bad. I don't understand, what was wrong with this? Two people had a good time, and they did it in private in a place where no one saw it and no one was bothered.

#life #love #relation #writing #written #blog #personal #irl #drama #real #weird #diary #daily

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kaphkas · 2 years

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This is for the fanfic writer Friday!

Tell me all about your wildest Sunder City headcanons? 😌

Aww Jay you’re spoiling me with this ask!! Not sure how wild these are, but they’re definitely headcanons I’d love to work into a fic one day:

After patching Fetch up, Hendricks sent several of his toughest Opus officers down to Hank’s to teach he and his goons a lesson. People in the Sickle still whisper about what, exactly, the High Chancellor ordered done to those poor bastards. Fetch, however, remains totally oblivious.

Baxter is a pretty mild-mannered individual, but when it comes to inter-regional little league they’re um. zealous, to say the least. They helped get the programme green-lit after the Coda and the Sunder City Sigbin have never lost a game ✊

Eileen is the best librarian ever. Every child in Sunder knows that if they’re having trouble at home, are struggling academically, or just need somebody to vent to, her door is always open. She’s constantly organising study sessions, read-alongs, etc. It’s her dedication to the kids more than anything else that makes Simms fall head-over-heels in love with her.

Niles, on the other hand, desperately wants to be one of those “shaking hands, kissing babies” politicians, but is profoundly uncomfortable around children - probably because they’re immune to his Machiavellian bullshit.

Early on, Fetch, in an attempt to prove how progressive he is, goes down to the Rose Quarter and propositions a male prostitute. Then he immediately chickens out and spends the hour he paid for talking to the guy about, idk, whatever the Sunder City equivalent of bionicles is. Amari thinks it’s hilarious. Hendricks has the good grace not to bring it up.

#fetch phillips #.m

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everbrilliantheartbreaker · 5 years

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Fanfiction Reader Tag

Tagged by @eyeliner-vampire ♡ ♡

Fanfiction Reader Tag!

1. When did you start reading Fanfic (How old you were or how long ago)?

When I was probably...11 ish? so like 13 years ago

2. Do you have an AO3 account?

Yeh (LadyWisteria)

3. Do you read WIP (work in progress)? Why or why not?

All the time. I’m not picky about this at all. I’m a simple person. I see fic I think I’ll like? I read. doesn’t matter if it’s finished or not. I’ll make up my own ending til it is lol. also authors need that encouragement. finishing stuff is hard

4. What time of day is your ‘fic reading time’?

Usually late at night (like 1 a.m. and later..much later) but sometimes I’ll waste an afternoon instead (2 p.m. ish til I either have to go to work or I finish the fic)

5. How much time do you spend reading fic per week?

Not remotely as much time as I used, that’s for sure. Anywhere from an hour (if I’m rereading That favorite fic) to 2-4 hours if my friend has sent me a longfic again.

6. Do you listen to podfic (fanfic recorded like an audiobook)?

I...didn’t even know this was a thing tbh, so no. Sounds very neat but also I don’t listen to audio books anymore bcus my attention span re: audio input has gotten so bad over the years I can’t focus for more than a few minutes.

7. What’s your favorite fic genre to read?

AUs AUs AUs. and fantasy. and fantasy AUs (although good long AU fics are harder to find). I am a very simple person. I see magic mentioned, I read. I also read a lot of romance fic (proving once again that fanfic writing is often better than mainstream original writing, bcus romance is one of my least favorite YA/movie genres). I don’t read as much of them but I also love mystery and paranormal fics

8. Are there any genres that you tend to avoid?

Super angsty no happy ending type stuff. “Major Character Death” is an automatic nope lmao (unless the summary looks reaallyyy interesting or it was recc’d to me). Tragedy is definitely Not my thing

9. What tag(s) do you track?

I don’t track any fic tags (I stopped tracking tags at all since Tumblr changed it from “keeping track of new posts in said tag” to “dropping random posts from that tag into the middle of your dash, and usually the same three”)

10. How do you find new fic?

Nowadays I mostly just read what friends send me or the new stuff a very few writers I follow post, but sometimes I also come across stuff through Twitter or Tumblr and curiosity wins out

11. How do you organize your fic bookmarks?

I..don’t? Is this a thing people do?? If I wanna reread something I either search through my bookmarks by title/author or just. filter by fandom.

12. Do you subscribe to authors or stories?

Yeh. I only keep up with a very select few of them though. altho part of that is due to several of them being people I followed on fanfic.net years and years ago and never unfollowed, even though our interests may no longer be the same. (the other part is me going “oh I’ll read that later” and then just. never doing it.)

13. What is your favorite fanfic trope?

fake dating and bed sharing are always good

everyone is gay. also Good

14. What kind of plot line are you always here for?

“everything’s the same but they’re soulmates” (oh my god they were soulmates)

mafia AU

MAGIC

I really like in-between scene fics too. the events and character interactions that happen off-screen. I like writing those

15. What can an author do to make you love them?

write about my faves frequently

cool AUs

write about minor characters

good sense of humor

16. What can an author do to make you avoid them?

not into mpreg fics

a/b/o fics make me super wary I usually pass on those, even if the summary looks mildly interesting. they’re rarely if ever done in a way that isn’t rapey and gross

don’t care for fics period that have rapey scenes but you’re supposed to find them romantic

adult/minor ships

characterization is a big deal to me so if I don’t like how they handle the characters, especially faves I probably won’t be back

17. What do kudos mean to you?

when I get one I have a few seconds of “oh someone kinda liked this thing I wrote” and then I carry on about my day >.>;;; (I do appreciate them tho)

18. What kind of commenter are you (No comment, short comment, keyboard smash)?

I don’t comment as often as I mean to or wish I did, but when I do they’re loong comments (I’ve passed the AO3 character limit at least once kshg)

I tend to quote favorite parts and then react to them, and I like to theorize and ask questions about character’s thoughts at a certain part or what author imagines happens before/after the fic

19. Have you ever stopped reading a fic? Why or why not?

Yes. Once because I stumbled into a very sexually explicit fic when that was. Not at all what I was expecting (I was also very young lol), I think there was a very few I quit because they were boring or very poorly written, but most often I “quit” a fic for the same reason I don’t do audio books anymore lmao: because my attention span is sht and my motivation and commitment are extremely fickle things. I either forget or just wander away for a bit and then forget. Often I mean to come back and finish it; it’s just a matter of how long it takes. (I also second hand embarrassed out of a fic so hardcore that it’s been a whole 9 months since I’ve touched it khdfgd)

20. Have you ever read a fic more than once? What is it about that fic that makes you want to read it again?

YES. This requires like a minimum 4 separate posts to really answer but:

Behind Bricks and The Penance of a Killer by Deathbelle

this person is my fricking favorite author ever and these are two of my fricking favorite fics ever, I must’ve reread Behind Bricks 6 or 8 times now and Penance is the BokuAka-centric companion piece to my favorite fic of all time that I always wanted

Mending Bonds and If the Heart Breaks, Does That Mean There’s No Home? by RussianSunflower3

Mending Bonds is soft found family fluff centering on a very minor fave of mine and If the Heart Breaks is very angsty found family fluff that also focuses on some minor characters and it always hurts my heart but the ending and the soft middle always heal it right back up (“[Hanamaki] has a heart big enough for everyone in the world, and then some.” ohhhh my godd)

Boiled Frogs by ReginaGalaxia

this one is. a really hard read centered around emotional abuse and manipulation and hoooo boy it is a rough read especially if you’ve experienced any of that personally but it’s so well written and the character dynamics are great and in its lighter moments it’s fricking hilarious.

(bits and pieces of) The Roost by Ugglabarn

bits and pieces only bcus Roost has a lot of very heavy dark content that I’d have to be in a specific mood to reread the whole thing because it hurts my heart way too much but also it’s one of the best Fukurodani-centric longfics I’ve ever read (PLUS AN AU..!!) and I love love how they write the characters and how much focus there is on the minor members and ships and in its lighter moments Roost is also really funny the most recent chapter was hilarious

Expensive Hotel by Crown_of_Winterthorne

smut. explicit smut. excellent explicit smut with loving polyamorous boyfriends and plenty of consent discussion and kissing. my entire jam right there

Class 1-A Whomst? by Ya_Boi_Hal

this is the funniest chatfic I’ve ever read in my life and the first good chatfic I ever read. absolutely hysterical. also has some really good serious content in the middle and some Aizawa dialogue that punched me right in the feels. 12/10 will read again. sometimes I just randomly say “Mineta whomst??” and cackle to myself

and back in the day it was:

The Flame of Betrayal by DataIntegrationThoughtEntity

I guess traitor! Tahu was a popular trope back when Bionicle fandom was at its peak?? and not everyone liked it apparently but I enjoyed this fic greatly every time I read it it was well written and had interesting OCs and I am actually highly tempted to go reread it again

and Asleep Beneath a Wheat Field by Feline Freak

this was a very peculiar little OC-centric one shot that was also very sad and I don’t know why it grabbed me like it did but I remember rereading it 3 or 4 times at least

21. Do you like sequels?

The fics I like don’t usually come with sequels but The Penance of a Killer is one so Yes

22. Do you like dabbles?

I guess? I haven’t read too many I don’t think but hey, more fic is more fic. Who’s gonna complain about that?

23. What do you wish more fic authors would do?

Write about minor characters more

24. What do you wish more authors would stop doing?

that thing where they latch onto one facet of a character’s personality - or worse, one that fandom made up - and write them as if that’s the only trait they have

25. Do you like one-shots or multi-chapter?

Multi-chapter. I mean both are great obviously but the majority of my faves are multi-chapter and obviously if I like a fic I’m gonna wanna spend as much time in that universe as possible

26. How long do you like chapters to be?

Usually I feel the longer the better. once in a while I’ll hit one that’s so long it’s kind of distracting but extremely rarely

27. What’s your favorite POV (point of view) to read (first, second, third)?

Third

28. What do you think of OC’s?

I didn’t use to care for them very much but as I started reading fic by more advanced writers I found several I really liked. have a very small list of OCs from recent fics I’ve read I would actually kill a man for I love them so much

29. Do you download fic?

No, but seeing as my absolute favorite Bionicle fic vanished off the face of the earth several years ago and I cannot find anything about it an y wh ere sometimes I think about saving my faves. I never got to finish reading that fic and I am absolutely devastated every time I think about it.

30. Tell me something else about your fic reading! Anything else!

best thing is when my friend and I buddy read a fic and send each other our favorite parts

Tag!

@yaelathewordsmith and @samantha-girlscout ♡ ♡ ♡

#Toa does a meme #long post #i didn't forget about this i've just been picking at it ever since u tagged me

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mmeaninglessnamee · 6 years

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Every movie I have seen (as of August 2018)

Here’s every movie I have ever seen, at least the ones I’ve remembered, I know I’m missing some.

Moneyball

Harold Lloyd – Safety last

Marx Brothers: A night at the Opera

Marx Brothers: A day at the races

Marx Brothers: a day at the circus

October Sky

Monty Python’s Holy Grail

Monty Python’s Meaning of Life

Monty Python’s Life of Brian

The Fugitive

Field of dreams

Major league

2001 a space odyssey

Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory

Galaxy Quest

Star Trek The Motion Picture

Star Trek the Wrath of Khan

Star Trek the Search for Spock

Star Trek the Voyage Home

Star Trek the Final Frontier

Star Trek The Final Frontier

Star Trek Generations

Star Trek First Contact

Star Trek Insurrection

Star Trek Nemesis

Star Trek (Reboot)

Star Trek Into Darkness

Star Trek Beyond

Spaceballs

Blazing Saddles

Young Frankenstein

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre

Invictus

Shrek

The great escape

Big

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Home Alone

Where eagles dare

Rocky

Happy Gilmore

E.T.

War of the worlds (2005)

The Avengers

Captain America

Ed Wood

Plan 9 from Outer Space

The Sidehackers [MST3K]

Manos: the Hands of Fate [MST3K]

Juno

Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost Arc

Indiana Jones The Temple of Doom

Indiana Jones Last Crusade

Indiana Jones The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation (1989)

The Hobbit (animated)

The Lord of the rings pt . 1 (animated)

The Lord of the rings pt . 2 (animated)

The Hobbit 1

The Hobbit 2

The Hobbit 3

TLOTR Fellowship

TLOTR Two Towers

TLOTR ROTK

Star Wars IV

Star Wars V

Star Wars VI

Star Wars I

Star Wars II

Star Wars III

Star Wars VII

Star Wars VIII

Harry Potter 1

Harry Potter 2

Harry Potter 3

Harry Potter 4

Harry Potter 5

Harry Potter 7-1

Harry Potter 7-2

Ben Hur (original)

Ben Hur (1959)

Fantasia

Fantasia 2000

Spy Kids

Spy Kids 2

Spy Kids 3

Pirates of the Caribbean

Pirates of the Caribbean 2

Pirates of the Caribbean 3

Blues Brothers

Anchorman

The Big Lewbowski

Mad Max Fury Road

Mad Max (Original)

Interstellar

The Martian

Finding Nemo

Toy Story

Toy Story 2

Toy Story 3

Monsters Inc.

A Bug’s Life

The Incredibles

Frozen

Ratatouille

Wall-E

Dunkirk

National Lampoon’s Family Vacation

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

The Santa Clause

The Santa Clause 2

It’s A Wonderful Life

Miracle on 34th Street

Gideon’s Trumpet

V for Vendetta

Napoleon Dynamite

Elf

Olive the Other Reindeer

Superman

Superman 2

Man of Steel

Spiderman 3: Edgelord Peter Chronicles

To Kill a Mockingbird

Ocean’s 11

Men in Black

Men in Black 2

Slumdog Millionaire

My Cousin Vinnie

Transformers

Shawn of the dead

Jurassic Park

The Lost World

Jurassic Park 3

Jurassic World

Mrs Brisbee and the Rats of Nimh

High School Musical

Midnight in Paris

Godzilla vs Mothra or some shit like that, it had GZ and Mothra in it, ok?

(American) Godzilla

Back to the Future

Back to the Future 2

The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight Rises

Tootsie

Alien vs Predator

Casablanca

The Prestige

The Terminal

12 Angry Men

Minority Report

James Bond Live and Let Die

James Bond Casino Royale

James Bond Skyfall

Airplane

Airplane 2

Naked Gun

Naked Gun 2 ½

Naked Gun 33 1/3

Pink Panther

Inception

King Kong (Peter Jackson)

Hotel Rwanda

Groundhog Day

Ghostbusters

Ghostbusters 2

Ghostbusters (female reboot)

Caddyshack

Pan’s Labyrinth

Night at the Museum

The 3 Musketeers

Paul Blart Mall Cop

Cloud Atlas

The Sandlot

Armageddon

The Road to El Dorado

Chicken Run

Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit

Madagascar

She’s the Man

101 Dalmatians

20,000 leagues under the sea

Zorro (original)

The Absent-minded professor

Mary Poppins

Herbie the Love Bug

Herbie 2

My Side of the Mountain

Race to Witch Mountain

The Wizard of Oz

The Wiz

Honey I shrunk the kids

Honey we shrunk ourselves

Honey I blew up the baby

Cool Runnings

Angels in the Outfield

Field of Dreams

The Lion King 1 ½

The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride

Inspector Gadget

The Princess Bride

Treasure Planet

The Rookie

The Simpsons Movie

Pokemon the first movie: Mewtwo Strikes Back

Pokemon 2000

Pokemon 3 Spell of the Unown

Pokemon 4ever

Pokemon Heroes

Pokemon Mewtwo Returns (technically a special, not a movie)

Pokemon Jirachi Wish Maker

Pokemon the rise of Darkrai

Pokemon Giratina and the Sky Warrior

Pokemon Arceus and the Jewel of Life

Pokemon Black

Pokemon White (80% the same as Pokemon Black)

Pokemon Kyurem vs the Swords of Justice (and that’s the most recent one I’ve watched)

Ice Age

Ice Age 2

Ice Age 3

Prometheus

Iron Man 1

North by Northwest

Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Captain America

Ratatoulle

Love Live the School Idol Movie

Your Name (Kimi no Na Wa)

The Garden of Words

5 Centimeters per Second

The Place Promised in our Early Days

Voices of a Distant Star

Children who chase Lost Voices/Journey to Agartha (Hoshi o ou kodomo)

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind

Howl’s Moving Castle

Kiki’s Delivery Service

Princess Mononoke

A Silent Voice

Napping Princess [Ancien & the Magic Tablet]

Interstella 5555

Marie and the Witch’s Flower

The Sting

Apollo 13

Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure

Rear Window

The Birds

This is Spinal Tap

The Iron Giant

The Hunger Games

Supersize Me

Africa Screams

Office Space

Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

Freaky Friday (remake verson)

National Treasure

National Treasure 2: Sean Bean dies this time

The Da Vinci Code

Angels and Demons

A Christmas carol (old version)

A Christmas carol (the one with Patrick Stewart)

A Christmas Story

Oz the Great and Powerful

The Wizard of Oz 3: Dorothy Goes to Hell (cinemassacre)

Taken

Kung Fu Panda

Super 8

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

Talledega Nights

Crocodile Dundee

Crocodile Dundee 2

Romancing the Stone

Like Mike

Space Jam

Looney Toons Back in Action

Scooby Doo Ghoul School

Scooby Doo Reluctant Werewolf

Scooby Doo on Zombie Island

Scooby Doo and the Witch’s Ghost

Scooby Doo and the Alien Invaders

School of Rock

The Polar Express

The Bad News Bears (original)

The Dream Team

The Gods must be Crazy

The Gods must be Crazy 2

American Tale

The Dark Crystal

My Friend Martin (Animated MLK jr. history lesson thing)

Jakob the Liar (Holocaust story about a man in a ghetto claiming he has a radio, remake of a 70’s east german version of the same story)

The Devil’s Arithmetic

Man of Marble (1977) (Polish film)

Doctor Strange

Wonder Woman

U2 3D

A Hard Day’s Night

Help!

The Beatles: Eight Days A Week (touring documentary, 2016)

Yellow Submarine

UHF

Stop Making Sense

Mama Mia!

Valerian and the City of 1000 Planets

Il Boom

Lost in Translation

House of Flying Daggers

Edge of Tomorrow

Pacific Rim

The Post

Arrival

Evan Almighty

Bruce Almighty

Ace Ventura Animal Detective

Ace Venture Pet Detective

Despicable Me

Get Smart

Over the Hedge

March of Penguins

The African Queen

Girl, Interrupted

Gandhi

Around the World in 80 Days (Jackie Chan version)

Chicago (the musical)

Hugo

Journey to the Center of the Earth

Osmosis Jones

Cars

Les Miserables (2012)

Singing in the Rain

West Side Story

Mary Poppins

The General (Buster Keaton)

Little Big Man

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

O Brother Where Art Thou

Beowulf (2007)

Crash

The Maltese Falcon

The African Queen

The Rocker

It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World

The Same Moon (La Misma Luna)

Airheads

The Secret of Roan Inish

Dave

Charlotte’s Web

Babe

The Three Musketeers

Dr. Doolittle

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea [I do not remember this at all]

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs [I do not remember this at all, either]

101 Dalmatians

Aladdin and the King of thieves

Sweeny Todd

[That bad vampire movie I saw at a party in like 2012]

[That other MST3K sci-fi movie about the bodyswap]

Tekken: Blood Vengence

Jason Borne (2016)

Metropolis (2001, anime)

Pay It Forward

Sister Act 2

(some shitty bullying movie)

The Atomic Brain [MST3K]

Hairspray

Dallas Buyer’s Club

Seven Samurai

Magnificent 7 (1960)

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum

Cinderella (Disney)

Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998)

The Music Man

The King’s Speech

The Great Dictator

Oliver!

Kiss me Kate

Pirate Radio

Wrongfully Accused (Leslie Nielson)

(Huck Finn movie)

Bridesmaids

Modern Times

Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein

Metropolis (1927)

Funny Farm

The Black Stallion

National Velvet

Bionicle: Mask of Light

Arsenic and Old Lace

Unaccompanied Minors

Terminator

Isle of Dogs

A Quiet Place

Akira

Loving Vincent

Tangled

Hoodwinked

How to Train Your Dragon

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Ghost in the Shell (1995)

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Samurai Cop (1991) [Rifftrax]

Birdemic: Shock and Terror [Rifftrax]

Solo: A Star Wars Story

Oh Lucy!

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, Abridged

The Thief Lord

Breaking Away (1979)

Fright Night (2011)

Sharknado [Rifftrax]

The Incredibles 2

Mongolian Ping Pong

The Gold Rush (Charlie Chaplin)

City Lights (Charlie Chaplin)

City Slickers

(Escape to) Victory (1981)

The Phantom of the Opera

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Fireworks: Should we watch them from the bottom or the side? (2017)

Ed Edd and Eddy’s Big Picture Show

Jaws

The Color of Friendship (2000)

Flatland

The Wolverine (2013)

Codename: Kids Next Door – Operation Z.E.R.O.

Incredibles 2

Shawn the Sheep

Goodachari

Mutiny on the Bounty

Happy Death Day

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thatastrowitch · 3 years

Text

Relationship Retrospective #7

I'm not the dating app type.

But I was bored. It's nice when people are nice to you. I wanted to practice flirting in a controlled environment. So I took the plunge.

He has a good face. Their hair is kind of longish and they want to abolish the roads. And I have no idea what the fuck that means but it sounds cool so, I tell him I'm in. And he's nice. He doesn't talk to me much because they have a job but, hey, they have a job!

He has a really nice voice. It makes my stomach drop the first time I hear it. Invite them out for coffee, so I can get the vibe. It changes to a lunch at a mac and cheese place. Conversation flows pretty easily and we walk around and it's fine. It's fun enough that I don't write him off but I don't have much to report back to friends.

Then I'm coming back late from another date with somebody else that did not go well, and they call me attractive. And it feels good. So I say screw it, come to a museum with me. And he says yes.

The date ends up being 10 hours long. It's so fun. The conversation feels natural. And they are so attractive. And there's good physical affection. He called me beautiful and I felt it. They kissed my hand and we end up in a park by my old high school and they ask before he kisses me and it's amazing. And it starts raining, and either of us leave. And there's thunder and lightning and I can't stop myself from counting between the flashes--

and you call me shiny.

(I'm Sorry by the way this isn't fair for either of us If I don't get this out of my head I will explode)

I ask if you want this to be more serious and you tell me you want us to be friends first. And I agree because I think you're right but my mom thinks you're crazy. But it's fine because a little while later after flirting and texting and train ride I meet you at your door with a dinner I made for you.

And it's electric. And we make it official.

And I visit you in the in-betweens, work and sleep and tests and emotional shit. You tell me about Bionicle and I try to learn to fill the silence. You had a rough go of it and I don't know everything could I try to help as best as I can.

And you make me feel so safe and comfortable. And I'm so happy. And I saved the wristband from the amusement park date and on it I wrote, "they make me feel amazing".

And then I go to college. And it's distance. And the first time I visit it's not as good as I thought it was going to be. And I think it's just because I'm going through a depressive episode but,

We both have our shit.

It's not working for you. I could tell. when I visited I was going to ask you to send more photos, so I could feel more connected to you. I don't get the chance.

It wasn't a terrible breakup. I've had worse. Making me drive the five hours only black spot on your boyfriend record but Holy shit.

It's one hell of a black spot.

It was fun. Thank you for making me feel cared for, safe, comfortable, beautiful, and sexy. I'm better off having known you.

I hope that you are cared for. I hope you know that's the only thing special that I did for you was the driving. I hope all your shit gets worked out and that you can breathe again and that you don't have to worry about family. I hope your universe gets of the ground and people see how amazing it is. I hope you get to see the stars one day.

Take care of yourself Thunder.

#what are tenses?#and a consistent POV? no #I do wish you the best #ill delete this if you want #Relationship Retrospective

0 notes

feitanswife · 4 years

Text

Some small interesting things in my life I think you’ll enjoy:

- my neighbor has a cat that is well behaved enough to walk with him off leash when he goes to walk his dog

-when I was in first grade I had a friend named David and he moved away and I would stand at the top of the playground thing and stare mournfully into the distance, thinking about him. So uh if you are or know a guy named David, class of 2017, who used to play make believe Star Wars/Bionicles with a girl named Paige at recess (even know she didn’t really know what those were) I still miss you 🥺

- my cousin has a wiener dog feared by both god and death, she is 17 and not slowing down in the slightest. She will leap out of cars with no hesitation. Their two bulldogs are terrified of her. She is named after a type of semi truck. She has the energy of a distinguished southern belle but also a mafia boss. I love her.

-in contrast their bulldogs are the stupidest creatures I’ve ever met, and the little one is mean as hell sometimes. The big one? Oh he’s just a handsome boy!!! The prettiest boy! My sweetie boy my Angel my darling!!! My favorite creature on this earth! He is also named after a type of semi truck. The other one is named after a type of Jeep.

Look at him!! The most handsome genetic monstrosity I know! He’s the dog equivalent to a himbo and I adore him.

I’d post pictures of the others but when I got a new phone I lost all them :(

-I promised my astronomy teacher in highschool that if deep space travel became a thing in my lifetime I would become a space pirate on his behalf. And I fully intend to keep that promise.

-in 10th grade English class I sat like kitty-corner to a kid who I didn’t know very well. They were the first person I’d ever met in real life who used they/them pronouns (I’d been on tumblr for about 9 months at that point so I had a few online acquaintances who did) and I had a huge like... puppy crush on them, cause they were cute and liked all the same things I did. But their best friend was the school’s Hyper Aggressive Overbearing Feminist Who Gave The Rest Of Us a Bad Name who scared me like, a lot cause she was just really mean spirited n stuff so I never really got to know them, cause every time I tried she’d be breathing down my neck. So I ended up dating a sweaty nerd boy for two years and I still blame that girl.

-before I was born my mom had a horse and she got my dad a horse of his own so they could ride together but the horse hated him (which is notable cause she was the nicest horse I’ve ever met) and if he got on her she would kick and scream and one time she just... sat down.

This is the best picture I have of her. Yes I’m aware I looked like a coconut.

- One time my school went into lockdown while I was in the class with the worst teacher in the school, he was super overbearing and strict and never gave enough time to do assignment, so instead of doing normal lockdown procedure we all took our laptops to the front of the room and very gratefully used the extra time to finish our assignments cause they weren’t due at the end of the period, they were due before we left the room, (his exact words) and we hadn’t left yet.

- I had a dog named Buddy when I was little and he was a yellow Labrador who was built like a damn monster truck. His tail was as thick as my forearm at the base and would bruise your leg if he hit it while wagging (which he always was, he was never unhappy a single moment in his life)

later I inherited my grandpa’s springer spaniel, Cogburn, who was much smaller than Buddy, but had a worse temper and was known for getting too excited when giving kisses and accidentally nipping people. Everyone was always scared of the wrong dog and it took lots of convincing to make sure my friends knew that the big dog with bulging muscles who bellowed like a horror movie monster is the nice one and the little fluffy dorkus without a single thought in his head will be the one to most likely hurt you. Not on purpose, he’s just stupid.

You may think “your dogs a lil chubby” but... That blond doofus was a wall of pure muscle. Built like a tank. Only game he knew how to play was fetch and he could outrun our horse without the slightest struggle. Named after his dad, Big Bud, who was known for being a massive tank of a dog as well.

And now look at this fluffy fool

He ate pinecones. Not a single thought in his brain. Wasnt fixed till we owned him, was raised running wild in a forest, had passenger seat rights in my grandpa’s jeep and truck (notable cause his jeep didn’t have a back seat, just a trunk sitting on the floor.) got to eat bits of everything my grandpa ate, and got to sleep in bed with him. In contrast, Buddy was let in the house once a year, for Christmas photos, rode in the back of our truck in a travel cage when we had to take him places, and only got human food like once a year maybe.

It was... an adjustment. We eventually compromised with dogs getting to sleep in the garage and buying a trailer to replace our camper and putting the dogs travel cages in that while traveling.

He also a marking shaped like a heart on his buttcheek that we almost didn’t know about cause the long fur distorted the shape a lot. Dad didnt want to deal with his hair so in summer we have him full body buzzcuts except his tail and turns out he is half the dog we thought he was. 50% hair. Very handsome with short hair too!

Also he had a huge crush on my cat. And the cat actually put up with him.

0 notes

our-workis-never-over · 6 years

Note

2,7,8, 9, 13 14,15, 16, 20, 21, 22, 25, 26,28, 29,30 🌝

2. Do you have a crush on someone?

Not only do you know the answer is yes, but you know who she is; remember that Instagram post at the Crowne Plaza? That girl was her.

7. Favorite song at the moment?

Right now at this very moment, it’s the Rat King’s theme song from the Globglogabgalab movie Strawinsky and the Mysterious House (which I know nothing about otherwise). Empty Chairs at Empty Tables from Les Mis is also pretty good.

8. What is your favorite holiday?

I really like Christmas.

9. Cats or dogs?

I’m allergic to cats and I’m absolutely terrified of dogs.

13. Are you in love right now?

I certainly think so. If not, we have a problem.

14. Who is your Tumblr crush?

🌚

15. How are you feeling right now?

A little sick with allergies, but otherwise not too bad.

16. What is your ideal type?

I… You know, the… One thing I sh… Excuse me for one second.

20. Do you want any piercings in the future?

Nah.

21. What is your favorite hobby?

Playing with my Bionicle figures, believe it or not. Shame I can’t really bring them to college.

22. What is the “perfect date” to you?

One where we love each other more by the date’s end than when we started.

25. What is something you want to say to someone you miss?

You know, I’m not sure.

26. What is something you’re afraid of?

A great many things.

28. What is your favorite color?

It varies between purple and red depending on the day.

29. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?

I check Twitter, then I get up to pee.

30. Do you feel like kissing someone right now?

Oh hell yes (provided someone’s willing to teach me how).

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boymeetsweevil · 7 years

Text

punch drunk love

Grouping: Reader x Yoongi

Word Count: 1742

Genre: Fluff i guess? Friends to lovers kinda

It’s been 5 minutes too long now and Yoongi’s disappearance has you getting paranoid. Although, that also happens when you drink tequila, so it could just be that. It’s not until you hear the characteristic, slightly rhythmic sound of Yoongi’s drunken shuffle that has your heart rate returning to its normal state. You peek around the corner of the brick wall you were hiding behind and gape when you see him holding a police officer’s motorcycle helmet with handcuffs dangling off one wrist.

“I can’t believe you,” you slur as he approaches you smugly.

“Yeah, well, believe it kiddo. Min Yoongi doesn’t take double dares lightly,” he lisps.

“Put it on, put it on."

He struggles a little more than he should trying to smooth back his platinum blond hair while putting on the clunky helmet. Like the good friend you are, you don’t help him. Instead you laugh and call him a Bionicle when he finally gets it on and pulls the protective visor down.

"How do I look?” He leans on the brick wall and tries to pose in what he thinks is a cool way. The illusion is ruined when his Birkenstocks slide on the gravel a little.

“Like a tool,” you say immediately, practically on instinct.

“So what would you use me for?” He winks but you don’t see it in the low light of the street lamps lining the road.

“Practicing punches, of course,” you reach up on wobbly tip toes and lightly bump a fist on the crown of the helmet.

“Oh! Do one of your finger flicks,” he says all of the sudden.

“Are you crazy? Do you want me to break my fucking hand?"

"Are you crazy? Your could probably break the glass on the visor. You’re so freaking strong."

You flush at the praise. It’s rare that you get a compliment from Yoongi. Your friendship is an unusual one on the surface since most of your time together if filled with ribbing and sneering. But sometimes you wish things were a bit softer. You’ve seen Yoongi with girlfriends in the past, and while he’s not necessarily mushy, he’s almost uncharacteristically sweet in a sort of ‘tsundere’ way.

You snap out of your musing and splay your dominant hand on the visor while pulling back your middle finger with the other hand. "Prepare to die, Min."

You release your finger and it comes down hard onto the thick glass of the visor. Yoongi flinches before blinking rapidly and you wrench your hand away to howl in pain.

"That was it? Oh my god, I really thought you were going to crack my skull open, even with this thing on. Wow, I should bring this thing back to the suite and let the guys try it out too,” he chuckles only to freeze when he hears you whimper softly. “What’s the matter?"

"Yoongi,” you whine thickly, “I think it’s broken."

He softly reaches over to cradle your throbbing hand in his two larger ones. Your shocked by how soft the skin of his palms is. You wonder if the euphoria you’re feeling is from the booze you drank earlier or from the feeling of his thumbs rubbing your middle finger lightly.

"Don’t worry,” he says sternly as he brings your fingers up to his face. He bumps the tips of your fingers accidentally with the face guard before cursing and ripping off the helmet. He brings the tips your fingers up to his mouth again, this time to kiss each one softly, over and over again. You stare with your mouth hanging open. You feel warm all over and you never want it to stop.

“Yoongi,” your voice raspy, “What are you doing?"

He freezes and slowly drags his gaze up to your face. Your expression must be a strange one because he quickly drops your hand before shoving his in his pockets.

"Nothing. I just thought I would try and help you feel better. Since you were whining so much,” he says and awkwardly kicks at the gravel in his sandals.

You frown and wonder why the hell things had to go from sweet to dismissive so quickly. For once you just wanted to be soft around him without fear that he would make you feel like a little brother or one of his friends.

“You didn’t have to stop,” you say quietly, missing the way his head whips back up to face you. “My fingers still hurt, so you haven’t quite done your job just yet."

He hesitantly reaches for your hand again and pulls you toward him. In truth, your hand is now numb, so you’re not in any pain, but you do want to be close to him again. You look up at him and are shocked at how fond he looks. His eyes, though a little glassy and red from the blunt smoked earlier, are practically molten. You’ve always liked their pretty shape and pretty dark color, framed with dark lashes. You reach your fingertips up to his mouth and press a little on the firm softness of his lips until he catches on and puckers up. You both smile and he unthinkingly wraps an arm around your waist to pull you even closer.

"You know, I was thinking about head butting you in the helmet,” his eyes widen in surprise but the quiet joy is still there. “And just thought of it makes my lips hurt too."

He grins and your heart skips a beat when you see his trademark gummy smile. You try to drink in his dreamy expression as he leans in, but your eyes flutter closed on their own. Then he’s slanting his lips across yours and you can practically hear the blood rushing in your veins. Yoongi must not be as much of a lightweight as you thought because he kisses with utter control and confidence.

Soft, dry caresses turns to hard presses with the tip of his tongue nudging at your bottom lip. You suppress a groan at the slick feeling of his tongue sliding with yours. He turns the two of you and backs up slowly until he can lean back on the brick wall with you flush against his front. He lazily slips a thigh in between yours and you make sure to properly rock against it a little as you move from running the tip of your tongue along the edge of his teeth to biting his plush lower lip to planting wet kisses against his jaw until you reach his neck.

"Shit,” he hisses as you lave your tongue over the spot on his throat where you intend to leave a hickey.

You never get to do it, though, because you feel a hand of his tug you up and off by the hair. You want to demand an explanation but the concerned look marring his face keeps you from doing so.

“What’s wrong?" He huffs and removes his arm from around you. You feel cold.

"I’m confused. I thought you didn’t like me. Like that.” Yoongi hangs his head, embarrassed at how juvenile he sounds.

“What makes you say that?” You lift his chin so you can look him in the eye. Your heart breaks at how resigned he looks.

“Come on, kid, think about it. We’re always bickering and poking at each other. Every time I try to give you a compliment, you get all defensive and every time I flirt with you, you shut it down." What the hell, you think.

"When have you ever given me a compliment that wasn’t a half insult and when the hell have you ever flirted with me, Min?"

"Fucking five minutes ago,” he rakes his fingers through his hair, exasperated. “I complimented your finger flicking skills and you didn’t say anything. And before that I was flirting with you and you told me I looked like a tool. Obviously you don’t have to return the favor but what am I supposed to think?"

You blink at that. You suppose, looking back on it, that all of the moments like those he mentioned could have just been awkward attempts at flirting. But since when were you the oblivious one, you wondered.

"Yoongi, I do like you”.

He huffs, amazed. “Could have fooled me. I almost choked when you said that thing about head butting me earlier. That’s the closest thing to a sweet moment we’ve ever had."

"I figured you didn’t like me since you were always sort of sweet with your girlfriends but never with me."

"Honestly? I avoided it because I thought you wouldn’t want it if it came from me." Now that the truth is coming out, he brings a hand up to quietly play with the buttons on your jacket.

"Well, you’re wrong. I would want it, especially if it came from you,” you smile. “I guess we’re both idiots, huh?"

You grab onto the lapels of his shirt to bring him closer to you. You give him soft pecks and he eventually cracks a smile.

"Does this mean I have to call you sweetie? Or honey? Because I really don’t want to.” He brings his other hand to bury itself in the back pocket of your pants.

“You don’t have to,” you say between kisses. “It’s kind of funny when you call me ‘kid’. You’re only a little bit older than me and you’re not that much taller than me." He grumbles but pulls you in by the nape of the neck to kiss you again.

"Wait, wait, wait,” you sputter just as his lips brush yours. He squeezes his eyes shut and sighs, squeezing your butt a little for patience.

“What is it now?"

"Can you put the helmet back on?” You know it would probably make it damn near impossible to kiss him, but he looked so funny that you couldn’t resist and you’re still a little shit when it comes to him.

“Look, I promise, when we get back to my place, I’ll put it on and do whatever you want but just—Jesus, kid, let me have this, okay?"

He starts where he left off, his lips pressing insistently against yours and working his tongue to taste you underneath tequila and soda and lime. You try to plan Bionicle role play for when you get home, but he grinds up against you with a whine and you lose your train of thought.

a/n: does anyone remember bionicles? we used to pretend to be them during recess in elementary school

#bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts reactions #bangtan bookclub #yoongi #bangtan #bangtan fanfic #bangtan reactions #bangtan imagines #yoongi fanfic

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spectrumscribe · 7 years

Text

a solo act is good, too.

a Humanverse general TMNT universe fic, mostly using 2012 versions and borrowing from IDW here and there. i’ve always headcanoned 2012 Mikey as an aro/ace, so on the free day of the lgbtmntweek i decided to finally write a fic up for the hc.

(not @ them bc of a slight NSFW situation involved. nothing graphic, it barely lasts more than five sentences.)

“So Mikey, when’d you and Angel start dating?”

Mikey, age nine and a half, hits pause on his current model building project to give a blank stare to his friend across the table. Mondo keeps staring back, expectant.

“What??” Mikey asks.

“Everyone’s saying you’re girlfriend and boyfriend!” Mondo exclaims. He shoves aside his own Lego to lean forwards, whispering fervently, “You know girls have cooties, right?”

“Uh, yeah? Duh,” Mikey says, then remembers that his cousin Karai and friend April will beat him up for saying that, and diverts the subject. “But we’re not dating! Angel just likes Bionicle, that’s all. She’s fun, and we live really close.”

“Girls don’t like Bionicle,” Mondo says. “My sister hates it. She’s gotta be faking it so you guys can date.”

Mikey feels confused. He thought they were just friends who liked the same toys and TV show. And Angel never said so, so they aren’t dating. “But we’re not-!”

“You totally are!”

“Are not!”

“Are too!”

“Boys, settle down,” A passing TA says, and both boys quiet down.

There’s a moment of silence, and Mondo whispers, “Totally dating.”

And Mikey sticks out his tongue, not listening to another word his friend says all through free time. He’ll just ask Angel later, when they walk home from school together.

“My friends were saying the same thing, actually,” Angel says later, when they’re weaving through the streets back to their shared neighborhood.

Mikey scrunches his nose. “What? Why?”

Angel shrugs, reaching up and twisting one of her long dark strands around her finger. “They said we hang out a lot, so we gotta be dating.”

“That’s dumb. Donnie and April hang out a lot and they’re not dating.”

“I said that too, but everyone else thinks they’re dating anyways.”

Mikey groans. “So dumb.”

Angel shrugs again. “It’s not super dumb. I think dating sounds kinda fun.”

“Ew, no.”

“What, you wouldn’t date me?”

“You’re my friend.”

“So?”

“Friends don’t date, they do- friend stuff!”

“My big brother says that dating starts with friendship, though.”

Mikey thinks about that for a moment. “Really? People on TV just kiss a bunch, though.”

“Keno doesn’t kiss his girlfriend too much, they mostly just sit around and talk a lot,” Angel explains. “Or play music in his room, sometimes. So kinda what we do, but I guess big kid stuff instead.”

“So… are we dating, then?” Mikey asks tentatively.

Angel looks at him, contemplative as she examines Mikey’s baggy orange shirt, his cargo shorts, and wildly tangled brown hair. “Maybe? Do you wanna be dating?”

“Uh, we’d still do friend stuff, right?” Mikey doesn’t think kissing part sounds too bad. But only if it’s in little amounts.

“Well duh, we gotta finish Bionicle, right?”

“Oh totally.”

They keep walking for a minute, and Mikey remembers something that people who date are supposed to do. “I think we hold hands now.”

“Oh, right.”

Angel sticks out her hand, and Mikey takes it. They keep walking, go to his house where his brothers are already hanging around in, and they watch Bionicle season 2’s fifth episode together.

They end up kissing possibly three times over the course of the rest of the week, barely pecks on the lips, before Angel says they should probably break up.

“There’s no spark,” She says very seriously. “It’s not you, Mikey, it’s the spark.”

Mikey is hurt for about two seconds, and then shrugs. He’d only really been doing it because people said he’s supposed to. “Okay. You still wanna sleep over?”

It makes a lot more sense, around fourteen, why Angel hadn’t felt any spark for the brief relationship or Mikey. Mostly having to do with her dyeing her hair purple, getting a pink shaded button for her bag, and going steady with Alopex from her apartment building. Mikey isn’t really surprised- Karai had had the same kind of look Angel grew into at the exact same age, and his cousin had been dating girls since she figured out how to bleach her hair.

Mikey, by fourteen, has had exactly one relationship, three first kisses, and lacks motivation to seek out another situation to build those counts. He’s moved on from his Bioncle years- though he keeps some toys, for the sake of nostalgia- and dived headfirst into the Marvel comic’s universe.

The school library has an excellent selection, and at the beginning of his fourteenth year he meets a girl buried up to her ears in that section. Renet and Mikey hit it off immediately, swapping knowledge and recommendations and favorites and strong opinions about individual universes.

“Who’s your friend?” Leo asks after one evening, when Mikey had spent about an hour and a half debating heatedly on the phone. Guardians of the Galaxy verses the Avengers- who did more on the grand scale of things for the earth and its wellbeing? Mikey voted the Guardians, but Renet had fought back valiantly that ground troops frequently made more differences than long-range artillery support.

“Renet! She just moved here like, three weeks ago or something,” Mikey says, hanging up the phone. The debate would have to be continued at school, next lunchtime. He turns to his sixteen year old brother, grinning. “Can she come over for dinner sometime? You guys’ll love her, I swear.”

“Her?” Raph asks loudly from the living room. “Holy shit, did you finally get a girlfriend?”

Mikey frowns. “Uh. No? She’s just my comics buddy.”

“Who you’re inviting for dinner,” Leo says pointedly. “Who you just spent like, two whole hours talking to, instead of texting.”

“Hey Donnie, Mike’s finally got a crush on someone!” Raph hollers. Crashing follows and Donnie skids down the steps of their second story in all his fifteen year old lanky glory. He nearly wipes out on the pile of laundry by the steps.

“Did we get blackmail yet?” Donnie asks immediately, hardly taking the time to steady himself.

“Working on it,” Leo replies.

Mikey slaps his hands over his eyes, groaning. “Guyyys! Shut up! That’s not how this is! She’s just- really cool, okay? And knows about superhero shit!”

He hears his older brothers make disbelieving sounds, and Mikey ignores them all. Maybe he deserves a little teasing- he’d done so to all of them about their crushes- but it’s! Not! Like that!

And then the first school dance of the year rolls around, and Mikey is faced yet again by social pressure to be dating someone. He has limited options for a dance date: his cousin, who scares everyone and is probably too busy to come. His best friend, who has two dates already (Mikey doesn’t know how Mondo managed that or how he’s going to keep that a secret from both dates, but he promises his friend the funeral will be a nice one). His other best friend, but LH is twenty-something and would really scare everybody, even though he’s just a big softie who likes leather too much. None of those dates are acceptable, in hindsight.

Or there’s Renet.

Mikey wants to go to the dance, because dancing is great and he loves social events in general, so he agonizes a bit and finally asks Renet to go with him.

She turns bright pink when he does, and fumbles her hold on issue four of Wolverine and the X-men. “O-oh, Mikey. I didn’t know you, um, felt that way about me?”

Mikey rushes to abolish that idea. “No! I mean- I like you, but not like that! It’s just a stupid dance, okay? I just want to dress up nice and go dancing, I swear.”

Renet sighs in relief. “Okay, good. I’m not really supposed to date until I’m older anyways. I’m glad we don’t have to have such a totally uncomfortable convo.”

Mikey slumps in his chair, huffing. “You and me both. So will you?”

“Be your date?”

“Yeah.”

“Sure! I love dances, they’re totally bodacious,” Renet giggles, and Mikey grins in return. His friend’s outdated slang has to be one of his favorite things about her. He kind of wonders why isn’t crushing on her- Renet is curvy and cute and knows a ton about comics- but she’s just his friend.

Mikey puts that thought aside, and asks Renet what the hell a corsage is.

When the night rolls around, she shows up in a dress and hijab that’s color coordinated and he puts on actual dress pants for once. He wears his favorite flannel and a bowtie borrowed off Donnie- and grins and bears it as his father, brothers, and their friends all snap pictures of him and Renet.

“You two are so cute,” April comments, taking a picture as Mikey sticks his tongue out at her.

“I hate all of you,” He grouches, but smiles again so Renet’s parents will have good photos. At least he gets to have revenge, snatching up a camera and getting all the angles possible of Leo, Donnie, April, Casey, and Raph in their outfits. The five of them are going stag together- for reasons Mikey is Highly Suspicious of, regarding Donnie, Casey, April, and Leo in particular- and he’s only a little mad they didn’t tell him going stag was an option.

The dance itself goes great- good music, good mood, mediocre refreshments and minimal buzzkill from teachers supervising. Mikey sees and meets his family throughout the evening, throwing down on the dancefloor with Renet and their classmates. He sees Leo making his Nervous But Trying Not To Be face as he talks to a couple of his classmates, mostly towards one Asian guy with dyed white hair. Mikey also sees Raph drifting from the group with his friends and twin, towards the punch table and snacks, which leaves Donnie, Casey, and April shimmying in a circle and looking really awkward, and why can’t they just figure themselves out already, jeeze.

Mikey focuses mostly on twirling Renet around, and having fun with that. Mondo, who is soaked in punch from his dates dumping him and going off together, gives Mikey meaningful looks directed towards Renet.

Mikey ignores his friend and highly awkward family members, and just enjoys dancing with his comics buddy. Renet, at the end of the night, is flushed and grinning and Mikey really does wonder why he doesn’t feel the need to kiss her. She is awfully cute.

When the drop her off at home, all they say to each other is a reminder that comic swap is this Thursday and to remember to bring the ones they’d borrow from one another. And then Renet leaves, shutting the door and shutting Mikey inside a van with his stupid nosy family.

“So,” Leo says, and Mikey doesn’t have to look towards the driver seat to hear that grin.

“You two crazy kids kiss tonight?” Casey finishes, poking the back of Mikey’s head. Mikey swats the hand and tells them all to piss off. His family does not in fact piss off and pokes for juicy details for at least another few blocks.

There’s no ‘juicy details’ to tell, even after he and Renet meet up the rest of the week and keep meeting up. They swap comics and have debates and just hang out, still just friends and unchanged from the dance date. Mikey wonders on and off why he doesn’t have a crush on Renet- or anyone, really- but brushes it off in favor of the new Superior Ironman series coming out soon.

It stays that way, through years fifteen and sixteen- while Leo finally works up the courage to admit out loud he likes guys and ask Usagi out, Donnie and Casey and April keep making circles around each other and the elephant in the room, and Raph starts making eyes at a cadet in training he’s met at the gym. Even Renet starts going steady with a boy her family approves of, and she approves of even more so, and Mondo goes through about five more relationships, all ending in various states of chaotic mutuality.

Mikey watches his family and friends all be in love or at least interested in other people, and Mikey just keeps feeling more interested in his comics and skating.

“Maybe you’re gay, like me,” Angel suggests at one point, while they’re sitting at her kitchen table and cramming for a bio test.

“I dunno, maybe?” Mikey answers, and doesn’t feel against dating a guy, but feels about as enthused as he would dating a girl. Or anyone in between, honestly.

“You already tried girls, give some guys a shot. More for me.”

“You thinking of cheating on Alo?”

Angel flicks an eraser at Mikey. It lodges in his coils and he doesn’t even bother getting it out.

“Hell no, and if you say anything like that to her I’ll bust your kneecaps.”

“Noted.”

Mikey actually gives it a shot, dating guys. Dating in general. Keno introduces Mikey to a delivery boy his age at a local pizzeria, and Woody’s not bad to hang out with. He’s got curly hair to Mikey’s coily, freckles except in red, and skates most weekends. And he likes comics, albeit indie ones, and they find a bit of common ground by breaking in each other for new fields of reading.

It goes great, chaste kisses and holding hands and having coffee dates to skate parks- up until Woody asks to take it a step further. And Mikey doesn’t… want to.

“Is it your first time or something?” His boyfriend asks, and Mikey nods. “Then we’ll… wait, I guess. Until you’re comfortable.”

“Thanks,” Mikey says, and tries to not feel guilty for not being ready right now. He knows for a fact Mondo lost his virginity ages ago, described in detail that Mikey had to make his friend shut up about, that Angel lost hers a while ago, told in much less detail, and that most of their classmates have. He also knows that his brothers had at least tried things at this point, and Mikey hasn’t.

He feels a little left behind and frustrated about it.

He tells his buddy, Linnorm Hirutarum, named after a dragon because his parents had been awesome, all about it as LH tends to the vegetable patch behind his tiny house. Mikey flops all over the grass by it, grumbling and sighing, and snitching lettuce when he pretends LH isn’t looking.

“If you are not ready, then you are not ready,” LH says sensibly in his usual growling tone. Which is default for him and basically his version of a warm-fuzzy tone anyways.

“But I should be!” Mikey exclaims. “Everyone else was. Is. Augh.”

“Have you talked about this with Woody?”

“I… I don’t want him thinking it’s about him. Because it’s not! It’s just stupid whatever stuff for me and I need to get over it.”

LH’s shadow falls over him, and Mikey waits for his huge friend to gently lower himself onto the grass. LH’s wide scars move with him as he does, displayed by a sleeveless shirt only in the safety of the hedge protected backyard. His hand comes down on Mikey’s veritable afro, and pats Mikey’s head as he keeps talking.

“I know people who have made rash decisions about these sorts of things,” LH says seriously. “If you are not ready, then do not force yourself to. Respect your own boundaries.”

Mikey sighs, but agrees to respect himself. It’s easy to agree in that moment, with only LH’s non-judgemental presence near him, but it’s harder when he’s with Woody again and trying to explain himself without being rude.

He gives it a try, the whole sex thing. LH said to respect his boundaries, but Mikey thinks he can do it if he just figures out how it goes. Everyone else likes it, so shouldn’t he?

They talk about it, set up a date, and Mikey gets ready to experience the… experience.

It ends up being an unexciting, uncomfortable half hour of sloppy kisses and bumping parts. Mikey tries his best, but can’t figure out why anyone works so hard to experience this.

When it’s all over, Mikey hasn’t felt anything remotely close to pleasure, and actually feels a little over touched. Woody is a bit flushed, breathing fast by Mikey’s ear, but doesn’t seem super pleased either.

“…you didn’t enjoy it, did you?” He asks.

Mikey covers his eyes, and sighs. “No. Sorry.”

“Yeah, I thought you didn’t. Sorry, Mikey.”

“It’s not your fault,” Mikey says, taking his arms away and staring at the ceiling of Woody’s room. “I’m pretty sure this one’s all on me.”

They sit in stiff silence for a moment, before Woody asks if Mikey wants to stay for dinner. Mikey declines as gracefully as he can, and goes home instead. Slogging upstairs and heading into the shower to wash off.

He’s pretty sure he shouldn’t feel so much better, alone in his bedroom and freshly cleaned of the lingering smell of body fluids. His brothers find him there later, in a bathrobe and watching the original Twin Peaks on his laptop, and they ask him why he washed so early.

Mikey debates for a moment, and decides they’ll find out somehow anyways. “I had sex.” He’s unsurprised to hear Leo choke on his own spit, and Raph and Donnie make twin sounds of shock and disbelief. “Yup. Popped the cherry but good. You guys can stop teasing me about it, now.”

Does he sound a little bitter? Mikey thinks he does. From the way his brothers hover awkwardly in the doorway, they heard the bitterness, too.

“…you okay, Mikey?” Leo asks, genuinely concerned.

Mikey shrugs. “I’m fine. It just went awful, that’s all.”

Raph pats Leo on the shoulder, simultaneous with Donnie, as they both silently nominate the eldest to deal with the situation. Leo shoots them both an abandoned look, but steps into Mikey’s room to come sit on his bed. Mikey doesn’t pause his video, using it as a distraction from his prickling shame.

Leo watches him for a moment, before asking, “You used protection, right?” and Mikey groans, covering his face.

“It wasn’t that kind of sex, okay?”

“Oh. Um. Good?”

“Smooth,” Raph comments from the doorway, audibly swatted at by Donnie.

“Anyways,” Leo recovers. “You were both… you talked about it beforehand, right? You both wanted it?”

“Yeah,” Mikey says miserably into his sleeve.

“…you know first times are always bad, right, Mikey? It takes- um- practice-”

“It wasn’t because of that, Leo. You can stop.”

“Thank you,” Leo says gratefully. Donnie and Raph snicker from the doorway. “So… what was it because?”

“I can’t believe this is a conversation we’re having.”

“Shh!”

“If it’s somethin’ that kid did-”

“Raph we talked about that contingency already: only if Mikey says so-”

“It wasn’t Woody,” Mikey says, before death threats start getting thrown around. “It was me, okay? I made it suck.” He takes his arms off his face, shooting a look at all three of his siblings. “And before you say it- no it wasn’t just because it was my first time. It sucked ‘cause I suck and I couldn’t figure out how to enjoy sex, okay?”

A beat of silence, all three of his brothers staring at him, and then Leo breaks the lull.

“Mikey… you don’t ‘figure out’ how to enjoy sex. You just- enjoy it. It happens naturally.”

Mikey’s cheeks burn and he scowls. “Well apparently not with me.”

“Maybe you just haven’t met the right person yet?” Raph suggests. “I mean, you know me and how things go with that.”

Mikey shakes his head. “I kinda doubt it; I’ve tried to get crushes on like, ten different kids at school and nada. Zip.”

Donnie tilts his head, long hair following the movement. “Maybe when you’re older you’ll be more interested?”

Mikey sighs. “I don’t know. Maybe. I hope so. But it’s been like- never a thing, okay? I should’ve had feelings or whatever at some point, at least once, right?”

A collective “uhhhh” from his brothers and Mikey turns over into his pillow to suffocate himself. Leo pats his back comfortingly, saying Mikey should just give himself more time, keep an open mind to chances in the future- and Mikey makes a wordless complaining sound into his pillow for it.

He and Woody break it off a few weeks later. His friend tried, and Mikey recognizes that, but Woody needs a relationship that involves stuff Mikey just… can’t figure out how to give. He tries only two more times before they just call it quits. It’s not working, and trying to make it work is just frustrating for them both.

They keep being friends afterwards, and that’s actually better in the long run. It’s everything Mikey really wanted out of the relationship anyways, so he doesn’t feel like he’s lost anything.

He feels shitty for not being able to put out like he wanted to, though. And that drives him nuts for the rest of the year, until he’s seventeen and graduating finally, and gearing up to follow his siblings to local universities. Donnie graduated ages ago, but stayed local because of their family and he, April, and Casey’s really obvious secret relationship. Casey is in mechanics, and April in general sciences; Donnie is in both and more, because he’s insane. Leo is already a few years into his share of university courses, a hopeful nurse in the future, and Raph is neck deep in his art courses.

Mikey doesn’t know what he’s going to go for, and signs up for a random collection of electives to start with. Social sciences and psychology looks sort of fun, and so do dance courses. But those are months away, and before then is summer, family time, and June’s Pride Parade.

They’ve gone a couple times, when everyone has the day off from work or classes, and this year Mikey doesn’t have a shift at his outreach program scheduled on the parade’s date. So he, his family and friends, all end up watching the parade go by in a loosely connected group.

The standard drag queens, sponsor programs, and generally proud and loud folks roll by, music and cheer its usual levels of boisterousness. Mikey snags a couple plastic necklaces that are being given out, and just enjoys hanging out with his family. He waves to Angel and Alopex as they march by, part of the local lesbian representatives, watching the familiar pink and red flags flutter as they do, but pauses as the next group follows them.

It’s just a handful of people, walking with grey, white, purple, and black flags, mixed with ones very similar but instead of purple, they have green. There’s some polite clapping as they go past, and Mikey nudges Donnie beside him. “Hey, Donnie, what’re those flags for?”

“I… don’t actually know?” His phone is out within seconds, reflexes of a true technology addict. “Let’s see what our almighty lord and savior google has to say about it.” Mikey pushes close, reading as much as he can as Donnie flicks through the search faster than he can take it. “They’re- huh. They’re for ‘asexuality’ and... ‘aromantics’? I don’t even know what the second one is, and I’ve never heard about that first one being applied to anything other than asexual reproduction.”

“More explanation, please?” Mikey asks impatiently.

“It’s says- don’t push, I’m trying to scroll- it says it’s for individuals with little or no sexual drive, or little to no interest in romance. Actually that sounds contradictive, why are they listed together…”

Mikey’s eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”

“Well, that’s a gross oversimplification of everything here. There’s a spectrum for it, and apparently different categories? This is actually pretty interesting. I wonder why I’ve never read about it before.”

Mikey snags the phone from his brother, scrolling back to the top and rereading the first few paragraphs. He ignores Donnie’s grabby hands and keeps reading, feeling a twisty hopeful emotion build in his chest.

“Here,” He says, tossing the phone back at his brother. “hold my spot.” And he takes off at a jog to catch up with the parade members. They’re not too far ahead, and Mikey just has to avoid slipping on stray necklaces as he runs over to them.

“Hey- hey!” He shouts, catching up with the first person he can. The woman turns questioningly towards him, and Mikey blurts, “When did you- did you first know?”

She blinks at him, adjusting her hold on the big flag pole on her shoulder. “Excuse me?”

“That you’re asexual,” Mikey asks, heart tempo speeding up. “How’d you know?”

She stares at him a second longer, and then grins. “Around the time I had my first girlfriend, and I looked back at the times with my other partners and figured out I was always more interested in watching the movie than I was in making out.”

Mikey grins back. “Yo- same hat!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Totally! My ex always wanted to make out during Luke Cage and I was always like- dude no there’s good stuff happening. That’s. Wow.” Mikey feels a little breathless. “So that’s what it is? It’s not like- just a me thing?”

He barely hears the crowd around them, his focus tunneled around the conversation and the woman holding the flag. Mikey waits for a denial or an okay, a little scared while he’s so excited.

The woman smiles kindly. “No, that’s not just a you thing. We’re not a huge community, but there’s aces out there. Do you think you’re one of us?”

“I don’t know, I’m- I’m hoping so?” Mikey’s heart does a little twist. “I mean. My bro just pulled up the google explanation, and it sounds really, really. Um. Like me?”

The woman reaches up to the front of her jean jacket, and reaches into a pocket. When she pulls out her hand, she holds something out to Mikey.

“Look into it a little more, but if you think asexuality fits you- then welcome to the club, kid.”

Mikey takes the little button, grinning ear to ear. He thinks he’s shaking he’s so ecstatic. “Hey, would it be cool if I hugged you right now? I think you just solved like half my life problems.”

The woman laughs, and holds her arm out. It’s an awkward hug, because they’re both still walking and she’s carrying a flag, but Mikey appreciates it wholly.

When he comes back to his family, he’s got a new pin stuck to his shirt and an elated, hopeful feeling in his chest behind it.

“Hey guys, guess what?”

Turns out, not really feeling like dating people is fine all on its own.

So while Leo and Usagi go through the ups and downs of long-standing relationships, Donnie, Casey, and April all share their usual collective awkwardness and romantic overtures, Raph finally lands a date with the cadet Y’Gythgba he’s been following around for ages, and Karai and Shinigami disappear over the eastern horizon to share their seventh anniversary-

Mikey cracks a fresh pile of comics in his bedroom, turns up his music, and calls Renet on Skype to have a comparison hangout of their latest picks. He hangs out with Mondo and Woody around the skate park before that, and rolls by Angel’s place to say hi to his friend and her family on the way back. He pops in at LH’s place, trading half the casserole Angel’s mom gave to him for fresh veggies, chatting about his day so far and plans for a comic binge later. He sees his friends, does what he always does with them, and departs from them all one after another.

When he goes home, enjoying the summer heat all on his own and excited to video call his best girl who-is-his-friend and nothing more- he doesn’t feel even the slightest bit lonely as he walks. Like he always has.

#My writing #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt IDW #michelangelo #asexuality #what a great kid #i really enjoy relating to him on this subject #as well as sliding a few good pairings along the sidelines mhm #and fyi y'gythgba eventually joins the paratroopers and is raph's really cool and buff gf #and shinigami has her nickname in here because of her status as a veritable reaper in the online games she plays #And yes #the capritello trio do eventually figure themselves out and establish a relationship officially #all good things

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scotmerrick5-blog · 7 years

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bubwagon · 7 years

Text

this post is long and boring and about isj and it functions as a way for me to figure some things out and remember them and wasn’t necessarily meant to be read

By all intents and purposes, that was an ideal meeting. Possibly perfect, in that I can't imagine anything better happening, with the exception of a reconciliation fuck but i don't think that would have necessarily been the best for either of us. I have a difficult time being in Corvallis because it brings up a lot of my worse behaviours. Or not, bad behaviours necessarily. But behaviours that are kinda unhelpful and destructive to me. For example: T is very poor and I love him a lot and he doesn't get a ton of support all the time and for a few reasons I'm a little better situated to deal with his issues (I have more attention and span for his feelings than everyone but Erica, I have more disposable income, and honestly mostly because I just don't talk to him every day of my life so it's not a huge deal if he goes on an emotional bender around me once in a while) so when I'm around him just start paying for 100% of the things he needs and since I'm covering him for dinner what if I just paid for all of dinner for 6 people and took on the brunt of cooking as well. I'm kind of a giver, and normally that's fine, but I feel VERY compelled to give because corvallis stresses me out and I want to be likeable and my schtick for being likeable has always been to be generous. It means I bend my sweet baby butt backwards to accommodate the needs of resident gremlin boys and it's dumb!! When E first met me she was super suspicious of that which is fair. Like, it's dumb and I don't need to be so obsequious to be liked. Anyways I was kinda stressed out and I drank about 4 glasses of wine (or equivalent) on almost no food. I was, I don't know, punishing myself? So after I made dinner I decided I wasn't gonna have any right then. Anyways, I ran out of the house twice and I made friends on a playground and it was kinda dumb and dramatic but I get dumb and dramatic when I drink I guess. I just felt really clearly Not a part of the group. Sitting in a corner and cooking didn't help. Not playing MGS didn't help either, but also I clammed up.

Also: I want to say now that E is a light and saving grace and I feel incredibly fortunate that she was with me and caring for me. Hey here's mostly what I want to say: I think Ian is doing good and I think I am doing good and he was sweet and gentle and kind to me for the one day I visited. After everyone left it was decided that I was going to sleep on the shitty couch in his house. And I just sat down and was probably drunk and shellshocked looking and he asked me if I was okay. And I kinda waved him over and leaned against his hip. He lay his arm around me and gave me a hug. We went over to his room and just chatted about stuff. Here's what we went over: 1) We weren't emotionally compatible but we had fun sex. And that's no one's fault that we broke up. 2) He still cares about me and values me as a good friend, he's just bad at expressing that long distance. 3) He's doing well. And he's finally at the school he wanted to go to. And I think he's going to do very well as a chemical engineer. He likes the endlessly replicable tiny building block questions. He likes understanding what the world is I think. 4) He's very genuinely happy that I'm doing well, and that I'm happy. I don't know if the implication there was he was worried about me there. 5) He doesn't think our relationship was a mistake, and he, quote, "had a lot of fun." Which is right. We did have a lot of fun. 6) We didn't fuck or sleep together or anything. Though he said maybe next time, when he gets a queen sized bed and he feels a little less weird about stuff. 7) We talked about Sam breaking up and for some reason also that T asked me earlier that day if I wanted to FUXX. 8) We talked about his shoes and cool jacket, which we bought together 9) He totally had a boner for some of this. 10) He said it wasn't weird I sent him letters. 11) He promised he'd visit sometime (i was drunk, I do not expect him to follow through. I think i specifically said, even if you don't think it'll happen say it will. )

There were other little things. Mostly the gist I got was, even though our relationship dissolved we still care about each other and we don't express that in the same way, but it's enough to know that it's there. Of course, I was always gonna lowkey care about him, but it's nice to hear he does. I wasn't expecting that, necessarily. We hugged a bunch and kissed a little. I still feel like I fit really nicely into the space up and over his shoulder and chest, and it was nice in that it felt really familliar and safe. And we didn't make out or anything, just kinda fit the curve of two smiles against each other. I don't think you're supposed to kiss or cuddle your ex but it felt right. When he said it was time to say goodnight we hugged for a really long time in the hall outside his room. It was hard to want to let go. One of us would start letting go and the other one would hang on a little harder. I haven't rekindled an old flame or anything, and I haven't totally restarted the pining process. But he put away a lot of fears. I was really worried he regretted his time with me, and that he didn't like/respect/care about me as a person, and that I was a burden or a detriment to him when we were together. And it was like, no. we loved each other and it didn't work out but we did/do really care and that counts for something! It counts for a lot. And I know this isn't really addressing the real ways he did hurt me. I told him that for a while I was really mad, but I kinda thought I understood him finally at the end. And I wasn't so mad. At the same time: we tried and it didn't quite work out.

Easy as that. When we did say goodnight I could NOT fall asleep. I was hung over (already!) and at that point I hadn't eaten in almost 12 hours and drank a lot. I came in, asked if I could please join because I can't sleep, and he said, you're putting me in an awkward position here. I said sorry and left. Then he came out and took the couch and told me to take his bed.

The next morning when I came to say goodbye (he was asleep and at this point he moved back to his bed) we spooned for a bit. And when he laid down flat I nestled on top of him and held his hand and he held me really tight and then relaxed. He's a skinny little boy but he's comfy to be around. When it was time for me to leave I kissed him and his nose. And he pulled me back in for another long kiss. Then I kissed his forehead and he frowned and i laughed and called him the devil.

And that's what happenend. I think I knew it was going to be fine when I discovered that he gently and prominently placed all of the little things I bought him in his new room. He coulda chucked them somewhere or thrown them out (all of the things he gave me are hiding in dark corners because they kinda bring me pain to look at, but probably won't any more), but he put the little pusheen plush on the shelf next to all his fucking DOTA figurines, by the computer where he spends 100% of his time. And the pen I gave him is sitting right next to his desktop monitor. And the stickers and weird kitkat are around. It's all okay.

Here's what I want to remember from our relationship now that I don't feel uncomfortably badgered by negative emotions: 1) Leaning on him in the bright sun sitting on two tiny logs listening to him nervously decide what he wanted our relationship to look like. 2) Going with him to Powells, and the Doc Martens store, and Macys (?) on one of our first dates. I helped him pick out new boots, and a leather jacket. I was so delighted by Powells. Here's what I remember: reading the old bionicle books on the floor of Powels, delighted that the writing still held up as decent YA sci-fi. 3) Having sex (him losing that sweet sweet virginity!) for the first time to mind of a chef, fire episode in season 3. Hilarious. 4) He visited once when I really had to study and he helped me pomodoro. Every twenty five minutes he'd come upstairs to give me a kiss and a hug, and leave once I had to study again. 5) Spending a long time in bed with him in the mornings. It's a variable but happy memory. 6) Making pizza. 7) Awkwardly first telling him that I loved him. Hey this is a sweet story. Some rough shit was going down and he really took care of me. He held me against his chest so I could feel his heartbeat and breathed in deep and slow so I'd stop gasping. Eric used to do this too, and it's nice that people pick up on this. At night, in bed and with the light off I said soemthing like don't take this too seriously but I love you right now. And he was quiet and I felt like cutting out my unwary tongue. And he asked what that meant. And I told him something stupid about how I love a lot and each love is beautiful and unique or something. And he asked if it'd be weird if he said it too. And I said, no, but don't feel compelled to. And he said i love you too and i think i was the little spoon and i turned around and we kissed. It was a nice moment.

I think he's doing better. He was sweet and genuine to people that weren't me. He was honest to E about feeling bad for how he treated her. And when T had to throw up a little he brought him water. AND he helped cook. Small things, but it shows some sweet sweet character development. I love him, a little, still. But again, that doesn't really make him special. I feel wistful and nostalgic, but I'm happy. Also a little sad, but I feel good about this right now. I could visit again, especially now that I know tickets to PDX are like 70 bucks if you get them early enough. I could stop blacklisting his tumblr URL. This post was really for me to think about how I felt and to kind of write it all down so I wouldn't forget. I feel really lucky to have a good relationship with him. I also feel really lucky to have a good relationship with Eric. I think this is gonna be a good okay thing. I don't have a lot to be nervous about anymore? That's all done. T and I love each other of course. EBB has fast become one of my closest friends and I love her :'). Nick likes me and puts in an effort to acknowledge what I say and I feel comfortable around him. And EHP and I have been talking a little and i really respect and appreciate him. Maybe I can just go to Corvo and have a good relaxed time now.

Here's what I'm hoping for next: - have a good time in Vancouver w/ friends. - do fucking great as a copyeditor - get the content marketing writing/editing position - move tf out of my house and in with marisa

i'm feeling good right now and while i'm thinking that tweet that's like OH SO I'M JUST SUPPOSED TO ENJOY GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO ME INSTEAD OF LIVING IN FEAR THAT THEY'LL TURN TO DUST IN MY HANDS but things are Okay!

i am feeling just wistful and nostalgic right now. and i’m a little sad. but that was really nice, and that’s the best i could have hoped for.

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