#in which r doesn't even know about the snow and is a mess

[stlispenard]

@andthe6 continued from wintery prompt

the creak of his floorboards for once brings him reprieve, instead of annoyance. enjolras has been savouring the artificial warmth of his apartment after a night spent at the library, and a morning in the campus’ auditorium. he half-expected company. courfeyrac is a given, on cold days like this. m. enjolras seniour foots the electricity bill, though matthieu doubts he’s aware of it, so the central heating runs, day and night. the tousled, unconscious form of grantaire on his couch gives him pause, however. as does the alarming realization that he can recognize the back of his neck, turned away as he is. he recognizes envy settling in his gut, but attributes it to being so tired himself. what he wishes for himself is sleep, not whatever activities preceded his guests’ slumber.

enjolras’ wish is granted the moment his golden head hits the pillow, rising only due to the incessant buzzing of his phone. messages announcing safety and shared locations stop him from muting it. he gazes through heavy lids out the window, the undeniable fall of snow gives context for the group chat panic of the day. most of the amis are home. marius is at chez fauchelevent, bless him. courf and ferre have found shelter at the cinema (?). one person is not accounted for – technically two considering he himself has yet to respond. enjolras’ heart rate rises as running a marathon, had grantaire ventured out in the cold? the door connecting his bedroom to the living room swings open with a violent thud. the disoriented and slightly accusatory expression of a sleepy abandoned guest pops up from behind the couch. “ oh. ” they stare, as if the other person were insane and enjolras has never felt less comfortable in his own home. “ you’re still here. ”

      tequila might not actually kill you, but it might lead to some questionable decisions that makes you wish that it would. for the most part grantaire can drink exactly the amounts he needs to to get by without severe repercussions. the going to the club and licking salt, lemon and liquor off strangers’ abs is a new one and entirely owed to the ingenious of courfeyrac. dear courfeyrac, who will kiss you just to cheer you up in the spirit of friendship and courfeyrac, who happened to shower in the morning, using enjolras’ body-wash and who probably dried himself using his towels. courfeyrac who— if you squint— has a torso with the same definition and same amount of body fat. he’s a substitute, a fix, a hit, but he is never quite right. he’s always assumed that he is aware of it, too, and that he, when he initiates, feels a similar loneliness. sex is their shared solution. 

      grantaire, for the most part, has enough self-respect to keep clear of combeferre and enjolras’ place and besides rue gay-lussac is almost always closer (which means distance can’t be the excuse). he doesn’t remember agreeing to going to theirs, or if he had even tried to protest it. absurdly— considering the nature of his mind—  he doesn’t really remember thinking much at all. he remembers being with courfeyrac in a bathroom stall one moment and on the couch the next. enjolras’ couch. 

      when he wakes up it is because his mouth is agonizingly dry. the absence of courfeyrac is not surprising. the boy always has some place he needs to be whereas grantaire has nothing. he prefers the days where he is unconscious for most of it and he isn’t surprised that courfeyrac knows as much. so, grantaire considers it concern rather than neglect. the only thing he is slightly bitter about is the fact that he has to get up and get himself some water and that it will inevitably delay him going back to sleep.

      it would be lying saying that he is just about to leap off the sofa when he hears a door open behind him. grantaire is still very much on his back contemplating whether or not he’d die from dehydration if he just stayed still for another couple of hours. the fact that he isn’t alone startles him enough to make him sit up (he supposes he should be grateful for the push) and the fact that it is enjolras, of all people, makes his stomach churn. there’s a very real possibility that he will be sick all over their fancy furniture. 

      he fixates on a tiny loose string by the collar of enjolras’ t-shirt instead of his eyes. grantaire doesn’t want to see the frustration he already hears palpably in the tone of his voice. “yeah,” he replies eventually, patting himself on the chest, “still here.” he is still groggy from sleep, his voice is nearly gone and he lacks a clever thing to say. he lets out an audibly grunt when he’s about to get up and he realizes he can’t. he’s naked. sure, he’s got a blanket covering him up, but he’s definitely too naked to move. he feels heat rise in his cheeks and around his ears, he feels humiliated and ashamed. 

      “fuck, man, i didn’t think anybody was home except for courfeyrac. i wouldn’t have…” an awkward, fumbling pause, “i’ll have to find my clothes.. but then i’ll be out of your way, i promise. i promise.”

[runningfrom2am]

cold nights // part twenty-six

summary: you were back in the capitol, and you would be damned if you didn't try your hardest to make it worthwhile.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 7.3k (WOAH)

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: sorry i made you guys wait so long for this omg!! i have been booked and busy this week but we are so back :)

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

It's your first day of university, and you don't know if you're more excited or terrified.

It was the beginning of the rest of your life, which is thrilling considering just two months ago you thought you had days left to live. At the same time, though, you knew no one here besides Coryo and Sej, and you didn't share a single class with either of them.

But, staying positive was a must. It would only be a few hours away from them, and you had planned to meet up for lunch with Coryo between your classes, since he had found some for you that started and ended at the same time as his. While you drape your scarf over your shoulders and tuck both ends around the belt at your waist, you smile to yourself. You take a last look in the mirror, to double-confirm that you like the look of the scarf worn that way over your white dress and when you're satisfied you grab your bag and leave your room. Of course, Tybalt is right on your heels.

Walking down the hall, you can hear their grandmother singing the national anthem in the other room, as she always does. You've never loved the anthem or what it stood for, but starting your morning hearing singing is nice nonetheless. Even if the woman who started her mornings with song had decided just to completely pretend you didn't exist, ignoring you at every turn. "Good morning!" You smile as you enter the dining room, Tigris and Coryo already sitting to eat.

"Morning." They both smile at you at the same time as you drop your bag down, sitting next to Coryo. "Are you excited?" Tigris asks as you reach for some apple slices. There are more fancy pastries spread out on the tray as well, but you'd much rather stick to fruit in the morning.

"I am." You grin, biting the slice in half. "A little nervous, though. I must admit."

"You don't need to be nervous." Coryo tells you, and his smile does relax you. But you know he doesn't understand. "I'll walk you to your classes, and I'll see you during our break. It'll be easy and you'll adjust very quickly."

"Aren't you nervous?" You ask, picking up your cup of tea and taking a sip. "It's your first day too."

"Not really." He shrugs, reaching up to mess with his hair. It had only been a few weeks since he cut it, but it was growing back rather quickly. "More excited."

"Oh, well, I'm excited for you too." You hum, taking another bite of your apple and smiling as he pats your leg under the table.

Pulling up to the campus after Coryo insisted that their driver take the two of you, you notice immediately that there were tons more people. Most were people around your age, which you expected. You wonder how many of them are Coryo's other friends, it would be nice to make more friends here. Just like the games. You find yourself thinking. "Safety in numbers", is what Coryo had told you. You needed allies here.

"There's a lot of people." You comment as the car comes to a stop, and Coryo gently squeezes you with the arm he has over your shoulder in the backseat, still shielded by the tinted windows.

"Yes, just stay close to me." He tells you, kissing your cheek. You nod and push the door open, thanking the driver quickly as you climb out with Coryo on your heels.

It's obvious to him almost immediately that you don't fit in. While there isn't a uniform like there was in the academy, he was still wearing dress pants and a button-up shirt- which seemed to be on par with the level of dress all the other students were donning. Mentally, he curses himself for not thinking of that. It didn't even cross his mind- all that did was that you looked beautiful. More done up than he'd ever seen you, and you don't look insecure about it, at least not immediately. Outside of what he can discern of just average nervousness as you seem to shrink in on yourself while you look out over as much of the campus as you can see.

"So, your class starts in twenty-five minutes. Usually, it's a good idea to get there early, that's what I've heard anyway." He tells you as he starts walking down the path toward the doors, and you follow quickly after him.

"How long does it take to get there?" You ask as you catch up, holding onto your bag over your shoulder.

"You tell me." He smirks, jutting out his elbow to gently nudge you. "I have you the tour, where are we going?"

"Oh." You laugh, looking around. "It looks a lot different now. Probably... ten minutes to get to the arts building?"

"About that, yeah." He nods. "In no time you won't need me anymore."

As you approach the entrance to the main building, it doesn't go unnoticed by him that you're being stared at. No doubt every other student here recognizes you, it would be jarring to see a tribute walking among them at school. Let alone be in a class with them. He wonders if they'd feel unsafe with you- he knows he would have without knowing you.

Not necessarily unsafe, considering even watching the games anyone could tell you wouldn't hurt a fly, but... uneasy, is a more accurate descriptor. It even begins to pool in his own stomach, growing more as you link your arm with his. They weren't just staring at you. They were staring at him, too.

"I'll always need you, I'm sure." You giggle, squeezing his arm.

He can practically hear all of their whispers now.

'Is that Coriolanus Snow? That District girl is all over him.'

'She's probably going to give him rabies or some other gross District plague. I won't be surprised if he starts a Monkey Pox outbreak.'

'I heard him and Sejanus Plinth went to District Twelve just for her. They probably came back half animal- no wonder he sees nothing wrong with this.'

Suddenly, he does. Your hold on him, while friendly, feels so sickeningly isolating. He pulls his arm from yours with the excuse of rolling up the sleeves of his shirt while he speaks to you. "Well, we may not always have aligning classes."

"That's true, I suppose." You agree. "An awful shame though, I'll miss being able to have lunch together."

He just hums in agreement, picking up his pace as you move through the halls and out the back exit to be able to access the art building.

"This is you." Coryo says as he stops outside the door to a lecture hall, looking inside briefly before turning his attention to you. There were a few students already inside, reading or organizing their notebooks.

"Oh, thank you." You smile at him. He didn't have much to say on the walk to your class, but you sum that up to him being in a hurry to get to his own. The art building was certainly out of his way, if you remember where all his classes were supposed to be.

"You're welcome." He says, making an effort to match your smile. He could only really focus on the stares you were getting from people walking past, making wide circles around you. You don't seem to notice as you look up at him. "I'll come back to get you after class, so just wait for me, okay?"

"I'll wait right here." You nod, wrapping your arms around him and leaning your head against his chest. "I'll miss you, though."

You feel him tense up under you, and he awkwardly pats your back. You don't clue in until you hear gasps and whispering. You quickly take a step back, cheeks red.

Coryo chuckles nervously. "It's alright, uh..." He leans down to whisper to you. "They're just strict about that kind of stuff here. Don't worry about it."

"Oh, I'm sorry..." You reply, looking around and smiling apologetically at the few people still staring as they walk past.

"I should have told you, that's my fault." He admits, standing up straight before leaning down to talk to you again. "Good luck in your class. I love you, and I'll see you for lunch." He whispers and is satisfied when that brings your normal smile back.

"I love you too." You whisper back, and he grins, giving you a quick nod. "See you later."

You wave as he walks away, and you take a deep breath before walking into the lecture hall.

Now, you're presented with your second big problem of the day. Figuring out where to sit.

You scan the room quickly, deciding the easiest would be the front or second row. There were a few students already sitting down there, and one girl who was sitting alone. She had blonde hair, and red lipstick that you think would match Coryo's coat that he sometimes wears quite nicely. She looked nice.

You smile as you make your way over to the front row, sliding into the seat next to her. "Hi! My name is Y/N, what's-" You whisper, wanting to stay quiet in the already silent room and before you even finish your question she's shoving things in her bag and getting up. "Oh." You frown, looking around as she quickly moves to a different seat. The shuffle caused everyone who wasn't already looking to stare at you, so you just quickly turned to face the front.

You didn't mean to scare her off, you just thought she might want a friend if she was sitting alone, and you definitely wanted one. She didn't even look at you for more than a second.

You quietly pull the notebook Coryo had given you out of your bag, placing it on the table in front of you and looking up at the clock. There were still fifteen or so minutes until your class would start, so surely by then, someone would sit next to you.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen. By the time the man you assumed was your professor entered, every other seat was taken besides the ones next to you. And behind you. There was this glaringly uncomfortable circle of emptiness surrounding you right at the front of the room. It was mildly embarrassing, but at least you didn't have to see everyone staring at you since almost everyone was behind you. But you still had the afternoon class, and the rest of the year to let people warm up to you. It would be okay.

"Okay, I hope everyone is here." Your gaze follows your professor as he shuts and locks the door. "If you're late, that's too bad. I expect everyone to be on time. This door will be locked at nine on the dot. For anyone who doesn't know me, my name is Dr. Nero."

You sit up straighter in your seat. He looks young, probably only ten or so years your senior with well-trimmed but present facial hair and a semi-casual suit. He must be relatively new to the position, and clearly, he took it very seriously.

"Alright, the department wants us to do icebreakers, so we'll get it over quickly. When I call your name on the attendance, tell us something about yourself and what your career goal is."

Shoot. You definitely didn't have any solid plans yet.

As he goes through the list, you wrack your brain for an answer. What did you want to do? Nothing specific. Maybe you'd write a book, maybe open a daycare back home where parents could leave their young ones with you by donation while they went to work. Maybe you'd be back at the library, but you really wanted to do something good with your education. You make a mental note to ask Coryo during lunch what kind of career you can have with a literature degree.

You look around, trying to remember as many names as you can as the other students answer.

"Teacher", "Artist", "Museum Curator", "Gamemaker".

Your eyes are still locked on the student who said that, a boy with dark hair and brown eyes. His name was Cancor Crane, if you remember what the professor had just called out correctly, and he was staring back at you. He was staring at you with such a vile expression that it looked like he wanted to gut you. A chill goes down your spine.

Then your name is called. You turn quickly, smiling nervously. "Hi..." You say, clearing your throat of the dryness that overtook it. "So, my name is Y/N... something about myself is that I have a cat, his name is Tybalt. Um, because my favourite book is Romeo and Juliet." You look around, then quickly back to your desk. "And I am not sure about my career, in all honesty. Not knowing when the dawn will come I open every door." You shrug, smiling hopefully at him.

"Interesting." Your professor says, tilting his head at you and leaning back against his desk. "I expected your fact to be that you're a Victor."

"I- well, yes. I am." You reply nervously, twisting your pencil in between your fingers.

He hums. "Congratulations."

Congratulations on being the only one to walk away with your life.

"Thank you." You settle on, voice hardly more than a whisper.

"I've never taught a Victor before. This should be an interesting class for all of us."

You took as many notes as you could through the syllabus overview and first lecture. You were pretty pleased with yourself, everything looked organized and you felt prepared for the rest of the course- besides the textbooks that you needed to pick up. Another thing to ask Coryo about.

You don't see him at the door yet, after all, he had to walk all the way back from his class to yours and if he was let out at the same time he should be here in about ten minutes.

"Miss Y/L/N, do you mind staying for a moment?" Dr. Nero asks as the lecture hall steadily clears out. "I'd like to chat with you."

You quickly gather your things, making your way over to his desk at the front centre of the large room.

"Dr. Nero." You smile, bag tucked under your arm. "I really enjoyed today's class. I'm looking forward to the rest of the semester."

A grin tugs at the corner of his lips. "Thank you."

He doesn't say anything else, and you're left wondering what he wanted you to stay for. "I just need to get my textbooks, but I have the list that you gave us so I'll see if I can grab them this afternoon. I'll have them for Wednesday." You say, just wanting to fill the silence.

"Good." He nods, leaning back against his desk and tucking his hands into his pockets. "I watched your games. When they told me that you enrolled in my class, I was immediately intrigued."

"Oh." What are you supposed to say to that? He watched you at your literal worst, that doesn't make you feel very comfortable at all.

"In a good way, I assure you." He says, sensing your nerves. "I feel as though you know more about English literature than anyone in this city. Maybe even more than me."

"I wouldn't say that..." You chuckle nervously. "I just like reading."

"Yes. With an unprecedented level of comprehension for a District-born child."

You want to scowl and argue with him about how the opinions of the Capitol citizens are based on nothing but their own superiority complex fuelled by their win in one war that cost the lives of many, but instead, you just smile and nod. "Thank you, Sir."

"Although, tributes are not given much of a chance to prove that they are more than animals when they are treated as such from the moment they arrive until the moment they die, wouldn't you agree?"

You tilt your head at him. His motivations and opinions are suddenly unclear and confusing to you. "Yes... I-I would."

"Well, I hope to learn more about your experience while we get to know each other." He tells you. "Thank you for coming."

"Yes, thank you." You say quietly, looking toward the door. "I'll see you on Wednesday."

"Yes, good luck in the rest of your classes." He nods to you, and you take that as your dismissal and head to the door. You would just have to wait for Coryo in the hall.

You wouldn't have to wait long, considering he was already there, right where he had left you earlier.

"Hi!" You smile, waving at him but being mindful of keeping your distance.

"Hello." He grins, already starting down the hall as you join his side.

"How was your class?" You ask excitedly.

"Good." He shrugs. "What about yours? That's what I'm more concerned about."

"It was good!" You smile. "I mean, I tried to talk to people but everyone was pretty quiet. And the Professor was nice. I think. He seemed fascinated by the fact that I'm a 'Victor'." You accentuate your point with finger quotations, bouncing between looking up at him beside you and ahead of you to make sure you don't walk into anyone. They seem to be keeping their distance, though.

"Of course he is." Coryo scoffs, shaking his head. "But that's what we want. He may favour you, so go along with it."

"Oh, okay."

Tigris was nice enough to pack you both lunch for the day, yours consisting mainly of fruit. Something you have noticed over the last couple of weeks you've been here is that some of the food scares you- which is something you never thought of. If you can't somewhat accurately identify what it is just by looking at it, you're tempted to steer clear. Coryo insists you'll "get used to it", something he tells you daily about a wide variety of things, but Tigris doesn't mind packing you fruit for lunch or meals you don't help prepare yourself, which you appreciate.

Even for a September day, the sun is beaming down on the courtyard so you decided to eat outside. After all, Coryo says the weather won't be this nice all winter. You rarely got snow in Twelve, so you were excited for the holidays. Secretly, you hoped you could go home for Christmas.

"It's a beautiful day today." You comment, taking a bite of the fresh strawberry you pulled from your lunch container. The strawberries here were something that shocked you as well- they were bigger than the homegrown ones back home. Not nearly as sweet, though.

"It is." Coryo nods, leaning back on his palms in the grass. "Do you like it here so far?" He asks, squinting from the sun as he looks over at you.

"I mean, I've only had one class as you know, but so far it's great." You grin. "I'm excited to actually dive into the readings and such."

"I mean, like, in general." He chuckles. "Also, I have never heard anyone ever say they were excited about homework."

"A precious, mouldering pleasure it is, to meet an antique book, In just the dress his century wore; A privilege I think." You shrug, smiling at him as you place the rest of the strawberry on your tongue.

Coryo scrunches up his nose in disgust while you chew. "You eat the leaves?"

Quickly, you're covering your mouth with your hand to speak. "You don't?" You ask, voice slightly muffled with the slightly sour fruit on your tongue.

"No!" He laughs, shaking his head.

You swallow what remains of the strawberry in your mouth, preparing to defend yourself when you hear someone call his name. You both turn, and your eyes land on a girl with long, dark hair as she walks toward you. With the shoes she's wearing, she only slightly struggles on the grass.

"Clemmie." He smiles, quickly standing up. You follow suit, brushing the stray blades of grass off of your legs and dress while he gives her a hug. A hug? That must be allowed outdoors. "I didn't expect to see you today."

"Yeah, well, they let me out of my cage for the occasion." She replies sarcastically. She must be hot, wearing a white turtle neck in this heat. Then she looks at you, lifting up her dark sunglasses and resting them in her hair.

She has the eyes of a snake.

You're in shock for a moment, but you quickly recover. "Hello, my name is Y/N. Are you a friend of Coryo's?" You ask, extending your hand to shake. You were just happy to possibly be making friends.

She doesn't take it, something you're used to by now. "Yes, we've known each other our whole lives." She answers, looking down at your hand as you slowly lower it back to your side.

"Y/N, this is Clemensia Dovecote." Coryo says, deciding to introduce you properly, since his classmate didn't want to oblige. "She was a mentor as well."

"Oh, congratulations." You grin, biting back the sickness you felt suddenly bubbling in your stomach. "From what I have heard, even being selected for the opportunity is a large accomplishment. You must be proud."

"Yeah, well, I'd certainly be happier if my tribute won." She shrugs.

"Clemmie-" Coryo hisses at her, and she looks momentarily horrified at her own statement.

You look down, nodding slightly with a nervous smile. "It's okay." You insist, laughing slightly and pretending to readjust your scarf and tighten it around the belt.

"I didn't... Not like that. I'm sorry." She apologizes quickly after Coryo had jumped to your defense.

"No, it's alright. I understand." You tell her again, attempting a reassuring smile. "Would... would you like to eat lunch with us?"

"I have to get going, actually." Clemensia replies, looking between the two of you. "I was just on my way to my next class and thought I'd stop to say hi. It was nice to meet you, Y/N."

"You too." You grin, and she nods at you before walking away.

Your eyes stay trained on her as she crosses the courtyard, and Coryo is once again close enough to speak to you quietly so no one else would hear. "I'm so sorry, she didn't mean it like that."

"No, I know." You insist again, already sitting back down. "It's okay." You smile up at him, patting the patch of grass next to you so he would join you.

"She was supposed to be Reaper's mentor." He tells you as he rejoins you on the ground. "But... something happened before the games. She couldn't participate."

"Oh."

He moves closer. "Do you remember that day we went to tour the arena?" He asks and you nod. "And I was late, and you asked me what was wrong, and I told you nothing?"

You do remember that, and you never got answers, but you remember being worried it was your fault. You almost kissed him the night before, and you had made things weird when he just came to do something nice for you; bringing you a book and some birthday cake. You felt horrible. "Yes, I thought I had done something."

"You? No." He quickly shakes his head. "We had to write a proposal for Dr. Gaul, the head gamemaker, about things that could be done to "improve" the games. Like the bets, donations, sending food, and when we were speaking with her Clemmie got bit by one of the snakes."

You gasp, covering your mouth. He looks around, making sure no one is paying attention. Yes, people were staring, but no one would get close enough to be able to overhear.

"I thought she was dead, but they sent me straight to the arena to meet you." He explains. "And like she said, we've been friends forever so I was... quite upset."

"That's horrible." You frown, resisting the urge to reach for his hand as it sits on his lap next to you.

"Yeah." He agrees quietly. "But I saw her in the hospital after the bombing, she was alive but... different. Crazy."

"Her eyes?" You ask and he nods.

"And she was hallucinating, they wouldn't let anyone see her except me because I was there. She was angry with me because I didn't visit her enough."

"Survivors guilt." You smile sympathetically. It was a feeling you knew all too well.

"That's why she's wearing that shirt." He whispers, nodding to her just as she enters the building ahead of you. "She's got scales."

You cringe at the mere idea of it.

"I know." He laughs slightly. He doesn't look away from his hands in his lap, and while you can see he's smiling and laughing, it's doing little to convince you that he isn't upset. "It was kind of my fault, though."

There it is.

"No, most certainly not." You frown. You just want to hold his hand, surely you won't be caught if you do. You were outside, just for a moment isn't likely to get you in trouble. Especially if he was just hugging Clemensia. "Why do you say that?" You ask, settling instead for resting a hand on his arm.

"I... It's difficult to explain." He tells you, and you say nothing, willing him to continue. "So, our proposal was in the tank. Dr. Gaul told us if the snakes knew your scent, they wouldn't bite. But I wrote the paper, not her, and she made Clemmie reach into their tank and pull it out."

"That's not your fault." You tell him, gently squeezing his forearm.

"I should have stopped her. She would have hated me for telling them she didn't help write it, but none of that would have happened."

"Well, she's okay, isn't she?" You smile hopefully.

"Yes, but she just as easily could have died." He insists. "The only thing that makes me feel slightly better about it is that in a way, she saved you."

You cock your head at him, mouth falling open in astonishment. "I... what?"

He looks up from his lap to check your surroundings again.

"I put the letter you wrote to me into the tank." He whispers, and you have to lean in to hear it. "Because I knew if they knew your scent they wouldn't hurt you."

"You... never told me that." You state the obvious, retreating your hand back into your own lap. Part of you wishes he hadn't done that. They didn't quite catch you getting up into the rafters, his warning had been enough, but you should have walked to your death the following morning when you climbed down and found the note in the first place.

"I just... I don't know, I thought it would be worth more if it stayed a secret. I didn't want you to feel... indebted to me, or something." He admits. "But I'm still trying that thing where I tell you everything I'm thinking. Especially about this stuff."

You nod, putting your focus on picking pieces of grass at your side. "Thank you."

"Please don't thank me." He frowns. "I told you. I had to. I knew I loved you even then, Y/N/N."

You give your head a quick shake, already sensing the spiral it was about to fall down. "Let's not speak about this here." You mumble. "Please."

Immediately, Coryo understands. "Of course." He watches you run your fingers through the grass slowly, and realizes quickly that you are counting them. Now was not the time or place for another attack, and he felt foolish for even bringing the topic of the games up. "What books do you need?" He asks, hoping to get you in better spirits. "Anything that looks good? You said you were excited for the readings."

Your lunch doesn't feel like it lasts long enough, even though you had an hour and a half between your classes. Once you got to talking about your books, the time seemed to fly by and Coryo agreed to take you to the bookstore on campus the following afternoon so you could get all your books at once. He had a few to get as well.

He walked you to your next class, a few floors up in the same building and this time you were mindful to not hug him goodbye. He told you he loved you, very quietly, and you said you loved him too before entering the room. Another lecture hall, slightly smaller than the last one.

You mentally prepare yourself to play this game again. Where to sit, and preferably, finding someone willing to sit next to you. Looking around, you see a couple of girls in the middle of the room chatting away. They looked nice enough.

Preparing your smile as you walk up, you slide into the seat next to them. "Hi there, my name is Y/N." You grin, keeping your voice low. You really didn't want to scare them off. "Can I sit here?"

They look at each other with an expression unreadable to you, before one of them nods. "Yeah, we can't see why not."

"Oh, thank you!" You say excitedly, pulling your bag up onto the desk to grab your other notebook out of it.

"You're the Victor." The other girl comments, and you realize they're both staring at you still.

You suck in a sharp breath through your teeth, nodding. "Mhm."

"So... why are you here?" The girl closest to you with a brunette ponytail asks.

"Oh, well, Coriolanus, he was my mentor, he came to visit me back home and convinced me to come study here." You explain. "I want to have a career. Help my family."

"Oh, we know him." She says, and they look at each other again, chests shaking with laughter they're attempting to conceal.

"You do?" You smile. You knew starting with his friends was a good idea, this is just a happy coincidence that you had decided to sit next to two of them already.

"Yeah, we went to the academy with him." The girl's friend explains. You notice then that they have a very similar hair colour, but hers is cut short and curled just above her shoulders. "He always had such a stick up his ass. Took everything way too seriously."

"That's what my brother said, too." You giggle. You weren't sure if they were being genuinely mean or not, but you decided to air on the side of caution. You wanted friends. "But he is truly lovely. Do you know him well?"

"You could say that." One of them answers vaguely and you just smile, tucking your bag back under the table. "Your bag is... interesting. Where did you get it?"

"Oh!" You say excitedly, lifting it back onto the table. "My Ma made it for me. Isn't it pretty?"

They laugh, and your smile fades. You thought it was very nice, made from pieces of scrapped linens that she had used in other projects, stitched together into a pattern that made up your shoulder bag. It was perfect for carrying your notebooks and pencils, you had brought it to school back home all your life.

"It's... something else." The girl with the short hair nods.

"Does your Ma hate you? That's so sad." The other girl pouts, resting her chin on her hand.

You quickly hide the bag away again at your feet. "No, of course she doesn't." You weren't sure what to say. Why were they being mean? They had been nice to you a moment ago.

"Did she make your dress, too?"

You just nod, chewing on the inside of your cheek.

"Wow, yeah, I could tell." You look down at the words, unsure as to what she could see that could be wrong with it. This was one of your favourites.

Admittedly, it was a little short on you, similar in style and colour to the one you had worn to the Capitol the first time you came. But now, looking at what she was wearing and her friend, both with button-up shirts similar to Coryo's and different coloured blazers with a matching skirt, you realize that your attire is very different. Different vastly from everyone in the room as well, as more students are trickling in.

You didn't think it mattered until now.

You don't get the chance to come up with anything in defense of your dress before she reaches out and grabs at the material of your scarf, rubbing it between her fingers. "This is the scarf you had with you in the games. It doesn't look like your mother made it, though. This is mulberry silk."

You jump a little at the unexpected contact, and they laugh. "Uhm, no, she didn't." You clear your throat. "It's a family heirloom. I'm not sure where it came from." Not entirely a lie, it just wasn't your family heirloom.

"Neat. So, where are you staying?" She asks after a moment.

"With Coriolanus and his family. They've been very kind to me." You smile. Their eyes go wide and they look at each other again.

"You mean, on the Corso?"

"Yes, that's what he told me it's called."

"Wow, you really made yourself comfortable here, huh?"

"Well," You laugh slightly. "It's been an interesting transition, but he's made it much easier. He helps as much as he can."

Simultaneously they pick up on the pink flush of your cheeks as you remember the amount of times he's come running when you had a nightmare, only to bring you water and back to his bed to sleep after. Weirdly enough, he made you feel safer now.

"Oh my god." The girl with the bob laughs. "You like him, don't you?"

"Of course I do. He's my friend." You smile, a little confused. That only makes them laugh more, and you pick up on what they were implying. Quickly, you turn even more pink in the face. "Well, I mean, um..."

"Y/N." You turn your head at the mention of your name, looking up at the girl now standing in front of you. She was smiling, and immediately seemed to have a kinder spirit than the girls you were already sitting with. "Come sit with me, Coryo asked me to save you a seat."

"Oh, okay." You nod, grabbing your things again and standing. You were eager now to get away from those other girls.

"Lysistrata, come on. We were just talking to our new friend." The girl with the ponytail pouts, and you look back at Coryo's friend. She just stares at them, something akin to a warning in her expression.

"Where do you want to sit?" You ask her, still recovering from their mildly embarrassing comment as you stand up.

She just nods toward one of the upper rows and starts walking. "It was nice to meet you." You smile at the girls nervously before following behind her.

"Oh, and Twelve?" You stop and turn when the girl with the ponytail speaks up again. "Good luck with Coriolanus, though I hate to tell you I have a head start. We're actually engaged. But like I said, good luck!"

You feel your face pale and you just nod, quickly turning away and focusing your gaze on the long dark braids belonging to the girl leading you up the stairs.

Your mind is absolutely reeling as you follow her to some seats near the back. You didn't know he was engaged. Honestly, you thought you were kind of his girlfriend. He told you he loved you not ten minutes ago, for god's sake! But maybe it had meant something different to him all along. Was this something they did in the Capitol? Because back home if you kissed someone that meant they were your one and only, but maybe that was very different here. So many things are very different here.

"They aren't engaged. Don't listen to her." Coryo's friend, Lysistrata you think her name was, says as you sit down.

You look over at her. "They aren't?"

"No." She scoffs. "Livia just thinks they're getting married because her daddy wants them to. They hardly ever even talk."

"Oh." You reply quietly, looking down the rows at the girls you were just with. That does ease your panic. "Not... not that it matters to me."

"It's okay." She smiles kindly at you. "To be honest, he hates her." She whispers. "I think you've got a much better chance. He speaks very highly of you."

You blush, smiling back at her. "I don't believe we've met properly. My name is Y/N."

"Nice to meet you." She smiles, and for the first time today, it feels genuine. "I'm Lyssie."

"Did you go to the academy too?" You ask for the sake of making conversation. She seems lovely, and you're excited at the idea of actually having a friend in one of your classes.

"I did." She smiles. "I was Jessup's mentor. Coryo and I worked a lot together during the games."

You chew on your lip, nodding slightly.

Today was just full of draining conversations.

"I'm sorry." She adds quietly. "You all deserved better."

"I'm sorry I didn't stay with him." You whisper. "I regret it every day."

"Don't. You did what you had to do, no one holds anything against you. I think you did the right thing."

You just nod, opening your notebook. You have to hope that once you get all these impossible conversations out of the way and people know you better, you'll have other things to talk about. And maybe one day, the topic won't make you want to cry, throw up, and jump off the nearest building all at once.

"He was one of the best of us. He should have won." You say quietly.

"Don't say that." She smiles sadly at you. "I'm glad it was you if it couldn't be him, and he was very sick. He wouldn't have made it much longer anyway."

"I had to go home and see his family." You felt comfortable talking to her, like she wouldn't judge you. It was a relaxing feeling. "My heart breaks for them, they're good people. And they needed him."

"You know his family?" She asks.

"Not really. We've crossed paths here and there, my Ma helps them on occasion with fixing their clothes." You shrug. "Still, though. From what I know, they try to stay in life. Instead of weeping when a tragedy occurs in a songbird's life, it sings away its grief. I believe we could well follow the pattern of our feathered friends."

"Would you happen to know their address? I would love to write to them. To apologize, that is." She explains and you smile, nodding before scribbling it down in your notebook and ripping out the page to hand to her.

"Thank you."

Another two hours, another "icebreaker", and more stares. You hoped that your classmates would eventually get tired of staring at you, you imagined it would make it quite difficult to take notes or pay attention to the lecture.

You felt almost guilty about it. Coryo didn't tell you that everyone would be so shocked but you shouldn't be surprised. Looking down at your clothes and the scarf that had almost entirely been cleaned of the blood stains it carried back to Twelve, you thought maybe it could have something to do with how you dress. Obviously, it would be distracting if you stood out so much, so maybe fitting in would be better. As much as you love your handmade clothes, maybe they would have to be reserved for time spent at the apartment or on rare days out.

Coryo is waiting outside since he got let out a few minutes early. There was no use in starting a lecture when going over the syllabus took a full hour and a half. When students start pouring out of your room, he looks at everyone waiting to see your smiling face. Well, hoping to see you smiling.

Lysistrata walks out first, and with no sign of you with her he grabs her arm to catch her before she turns the other way.

"Thank you for doing that." He says, smiling sympathetically at her.

"Of course." She grins. "She's lovely, we talked for a bit before class."

"Yeah, she is. Anyway, thanks." He nods at her, dropping her arm and with a kind nod, she's back on her way.

He counts his blessings that he had run into her after leaving you for that class a few hours earlier.

"Hey, Lyssie." He grins, stopping her in the hall as she was on the way to class.

"Coryo. How are you?" She smiles and he shrugs.

"I'm alright." He replies quickly. "What class are you going to?"

"Uh..." She looks briefly at her notes. "Geography. B217."

He sighs in relief, and she looks at him confused and lets him pull her to the side of the hall. "That's Y/N's class, would you mind sitting with her? She told me that this morning that no one would and I know she just really wants to make some friends... Could you do that for me?"

"Y/N? As in Y/N Y/L/N, your tribute?" Her eyes go wide and he nods. She didn't pay any attention to gossip and focussed more on getting from one class to another. She didn't even know that you were here.

He chews on his cheek while he waits for her to respond. If anyone was willing to make that social sacrifice, it would be Lyssie. School was never a popularity contest to her.

"Of course I can. Yeah."

When you walk out not long after her, he's quickly joining your side. Earlier, he felt so uneasy having you all over him with people watching and by now he just missed you. If he didn't know better, he would have decided he didn't care- but he has to.

"How was it?" He asks and you smile, as per usual, but he notes that now you have untucked your scarf and are instead using it to drape back over your shoulders and around your arms and back.

"It was delightful." You say happily, following his steps along the hall. "And yours?"

"Delightful?" He asks, smile tugging at his lips. He can't help it. "That wouldn't be a word I would use, but I would say it was okay."

"Okay is better than awful." You shrug.

"Certainly is." He agrees, leaning down to speak quietly into your ear in the loud hallway. "Missed my girl, though."

"Is that me?" You ask, allowing him to open the door to the building for you.

"Of course it's you." He chuckles as you pass him. "What do you mean?"

You laugh. "Well, I met a girl named Livia in my class and she told me that the two of you were engaged."

Coryo groans, letting the door fall shut as he follows behind you. "No, ew. She's... no. Absolutely not. Maybe if I planned on marrying someone I absolutely despise, then she would be the perfect candidate."

"But that's not what you look for in a woman?" You ask, turning to walk backward in front of him.

"Nope."

"I'll take your word for it." You giggle, seemingly nonchalant about Livia's apparently blatant attempts to scare you away. Coryo wouldn't let that happen, and he's glad you didn't see it that way.

He smiles at you as he rejoins your side.

"Coryo." You say, breaking up the peaceful quiet of your walk home. He looks at you. "I think I shall look for a job."

"A job?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at you. "You don't need a job, we talked about this. Just focus on school."

"No, I know." You say quietly. "But I think I would just like some spending money, perhaps get some new clothes. Wouldn't that be nice?"

His heart sinks unexpectedly. As much as he would love to see you blending in more and embracing the culture that came with living in the Capitol, it didn't feel like that would really suit you. If he wanted a Capitol girl, he could have had one. Apparently, that's not what he wanted anymore, but the more you blended in and became "one of them" like he promised Dr. Gaul you would, the more likely people would be to accept the extent of your relationship. However undefined it may still be.

"If that's what you would like, but you don't have to work for that." He shakes his head. "I told you I would take you to the mall, the one with the ice cream shop. Maybe we can go on Friday." Friday was the first day of your weekend- the one day during the week that neither of you had any classes.

"That would be fun." You smile up at him. "I'll just have a look around, see what people are wearing. Get a better idea of what to save for."

"If that's what you want, love."

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs, @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore , @strawberryflavouredkisses

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

[caroldantops]

milk and cookies

ship: kate bishop x milf!reader

summary/request:  with your kids gone for the holiday, you're left alone with the babysitter.

word count: 1.6k

warnings: smut (18+ only), hints of power bottom reader, hints of service top kate, implied switch&vers!reader and kate, vaginal fingering (r receiving), lactation kink (r has the milkies), slight overstimulation, mentions of your lame ex husband

a/n: takes place at around christmas eve, but i tried to keep the holiday reader is celebrating vague! they do watch shitty hallmark christmas movies tho.

masterlist | ao3 link

Headlights fade into the distance as your ex-husband peels out of the driveway. You cringe as they go far too fast for your liking with the snow steadily covering the street, pulling out your phone to remind them, again, to text you when your kids are home safe. 

You sigh, feeling a mix of relief and sadness that your two children are no longer your responsibility for the rest of the holiday. The decorations that you'd put up twinkle, a few older bulbs flickering weakly. They illuminate the dark hair of the babysitter cleaning up wrapping paper from the floor. 

"Kate, dear, you're free to go home," you tell her. "I'll get all that later." 

"Oh no, I don't mind, really!" 

"I don't want you to have to spend your holidays with me," you give her a weak smile. Her eyebrows furrow in confusion, as if she doesn't understand why that would be painfully boring. "Unless you really find it thrilling to watch horrible Hallmark movies while my breast pump runs, then falling asleep at nine because being a parent is exhausting even when the kids aren't home." 

Kate laughs, cheeks slightly flush. She crinkles the ribbons in her hands, lithe fingers always restlessly fidgeting with anything within reach. "My family isn't...doing any holiday things this year. And all my friends are out of town. So, I don't have anywhere to be. I don't want to be a burden though! I can go and let you enjoy your movies."  

"You're more than welcome," you give her a much brighter smile this time, which she returns with enthusiasm. "But seriously, leave all the mess. I'll deal with it in the morning."

"Fine. But!" Kate jumps over the couch, and you cringe as you watch it tilt and then thump back into place. "I'm going to make you my world famous hot chocolate." 

"World famous, huh?" 

"Practically a James Beard winner," Kate says, shuffling through your cabinets and pulling out what is clearly your stash of boxed hot cocoa. 

"Funny, I think I use the same recipe," you roll your eyes affectionately, even though Kate is now completely focused on getting milk to heat on the stove. You sit down and flip to the right channel, already amused with the milquetoast white couple surrounded by Christmas trees on your screen. 

Kate starts humming to herself in the kitchen, and your eyes drift back towards her. As she patiently stirs the hot chocolate, you can't help but admire her. Her long legs clad in purple sweatpants, fuzzy holiday sweater, and her plump lips curled into a smile as she hums along to the Christmas song playing on the television. Kate can feel your gaze on her, and her eyes meet yours, crinkling at the corners with a knowing smile. 

You immediately tear your eyes away, embarrassed at being caught. 

Stop it, you tell yourself. That is your children's babysitter. 

Your children's babysitter who you know for a fact has a thing for you. Kate has been painfully obvious about it, showing no shame in flirting with you over the few months that you've known her. Nothing aggressive, but most certainly not subtle. 

Your favorite is when she gives you a compliment in front of your ex-husband, something that he never did. 

Desperate to keep these thoughts about Kate away for the rest of the night, you get up from your spot and go to find your breast pump. You switch the light on in the nursery, puzzled when you don't see the travel bag that you usually leave under the changing table. As you search the other bedrooms, wondering if you dropped it there instead, realization hits you that the bag that the kids usually take overnight is on the bed. They must've taken the travel bag - the one which has your only working breast pump in it - with them. 

Normally, this wouldn't be a huge deal. Sure, you would be sore, but you could survive a day. Except your kids - and the bag - are traveling to see their grandparents for a couple of days. No feeding, no pump. 

You look at the icy roads out of the window. Driving isn't an option right now, and even then, most stores are probably closed for Christmas. 

As you give up on thinking of a solution, you make your way back to the living room and find Kate sitting criss-cross on the couch with two mugs of hot cocoa on the coffee table in front of her. She looks up at you, eager eyes softening in concern as she sees your face. 

"You okay?" 

"Yeah," you groan, flopping on the couch next to her. "The kids took the wrong bag, so I don't have my pump." 

"Oh," Kate responds, falling silent as she stares at the pair of mugs. 

"It's fine," you sigh. "It'll just be a day or two before I can get another one, which sucks." 

"Are you sore?" Kate asks, eyes darting down to your chest, then away again. 

You notice, but simply answer, "Only a little right now, but I'm sure when I go to sleep I will be." 

"Maybe I can help." 

"All the stores are closed right now Kate, plus the snow is coming down much harder now--" 

"No, I meant," Kate's cheeks turn as red as the Rudolph nose on her sweater. "I thought maybe I could help in a different way." 

As she says this, your brain finally clicks into what she means, and you suck in a breath. Chewing on your lip, you consider for a moment. You want this. You're going to let this happen. But you want to hear her say it. 

"In what way, baby?" Your voice drops lower, and Kate audibly groans, shifting so that she's facing you. Her hands dart to the edge of your sweater, twitching as she pauses and waits for your permission. 

"Can I?" 

"C'mon, Kate," you cup her cheek, running your thumb over her chin and teasing her bottom lip. "Use your big girl words." 

"Can I taste you? Please?" Her voice cracks, coming out in a whine, and you lose any semblance of composure that you were holding onto. 

You pull her into a warm kiss, a gasp leaving you as she nips your bottom lip. Kate tugs your sweater up over your tits, not bothering to take it all the way off. She fumbles with the clasps on your bra, not understanding the little panels that are slightly damp. You help her, allowing her full access to your breasts, and she wastes little time admiring how full and swollen with milk they are. 

Her soft lips wrap around your nipple, and you sigh shakily with relief as you feel her suck. Both of you moan together as your milk first hits her tongue. Kate looks up at you, eyelashes fluttering with contentment as she drinks. You scratch at her scalp, enamored with how cute she looks gazing up at you. 

As feverishly as this began, the room settles into surprising calmness. Kate's eyes fall shut as she switches sides, and the only thing you can hear is the droning sounds of the television and the wet noises of Kate suckling you. 

Kate pauses her drinking for a moment to come up and kiss you, letting you taste yourself on her tongue. A gasp leaves your throat as Kate's knee presses against your core and your hips jerk against her. She raises an eyebrow at you. 

"Need help with that too?" 

"Yes," you answer plainly, guiding Kate's hand to your clothed cunt. 

"I think you should use your big girl words," Kate teases. You glare at her. 

"Just fuck me, Kate." She takes the hint, rubbing your dripping cunt over the material of your increasingly soaked leggings. 

"Fuck, you're so wet." Kate guides you so that you're laying down, allowing her to easily slip her hand under your waistband to stroke your clit while moving her mouth back to your breasts, unable to get enough of you. 

"God, Kate," you moan. It's been so long since any hands other than your own have touched you, and the combination of Kate's mouth and fingers have you coming far quicker than you'd like. The feeling of you clenching around her doesn't stop Kate though. She moves away from your nipple to suck marks into your neck, fucking you through your climax and sending you tumbling into a second. 

"Kate, Kate," you whine, pussy sore with overstimulation. Kate slows her movement, allowing you breathing room as she pulls out her hand and lays her head on your chest. Both of you breathe heavily, sitting with the realization that months of tension finally paid off. 

Kate breaks the silence. "Our hot chocolate is probably cold by now." 

"You're still thirsty?" 

"I have a big appetite," Kate laughs, nose bumping against your jaw. 

"Well, you obviously can't go home now," you point to the white-out outside the window. Kate props herself up on top of you to see, and you get momentarily distracted at how pretty she looks in the holiday lights. "So how about we shower and then reheat the hot cocoa?" 

"Okay, do you wanna go first?" Kate asks innocently. "It's your shower, after all." 

"Oh, we're going together," you sit up, grabbing her hips so she settles in your lap and wraps her legs around you. Kate bites her lip, hips shifting under you. "You gave me a present, now it's your turn."

"I think I gave you two presents, actually," Kate says smugly.

"I'll have to give you three then."

[tkblythofficial]

feel free not to post this as i know this is more of a t blog now. i've recently done a reading on r's career and i found it interesting so i thought i would share! i'm very much a beginner in tarot and i've never sent tarot reads in before, so i'm new to this. you can call me tarot ghost if you'd like.

(i wrote the key words my tarot app used to describe each card, for some context.)

Purpose: Two of Swords – difficult choices; indecision; stalemate

My interpretation: and we're off to a confusing start. i don't know what exactly this means, but maybe she feels stuck in some way. she may have choices she has to make, but none of them sound appealing to her. still confused about why this was drawn for "purpose" though.

Motivation: Eight of Swords – imprisonment; entrapment; self-victimization

My interpretation: it's possible she feels trapped and doesn't know how to move forward. when I read the description of the card, I instantly thought of the whole snow white mess and her reputation being tarnished because of it. she might feel helpless which makes it difficult for her to self reflect and see ways in which she can make things better for herself.

Responsibilities: Five of Cups – loss; grief; disappointment

My interpretation: she lost something because of her job, possibly more than one thing. maybe it was a role she was looking forward to, or respect from others because of the hate train. maybe it's privacy, or even feeling like she lost a part of herself in some way. whatever it is, she needs to let herself grieve and heal so she can move on to brighter days.

Projects: Seven of Cups – searching for purpose; choices; daydreaming

My interpretation: again, it sounds like she might feel stuck with her choices. she has to ask herself questions and see what she really wants. and she has to put the work in and decide too. she can't keep putting it off and daydreaming about other things.

Rewards: Five of Wands – competition; conflict; rivalry

My interpretation: it sounds like she will move forward from feeling stuck, but she will have disadvantages. she may deal with more competition than she's used to, and some unpleasant people who feel overshadowed by her. but with that, that also makes me think that she will be seen as a threat and she will have something that other people are jealous of.

Career potential: Knight of Pentacles – efficiency; hard work; responsibility

My interpretation: this gives me hope. it sounds like if she really puts the work in and takes initiative, she will prosper. she needs to start accepting her challenges that will come and start trusting herself to be okay, because she can succeed if she lets herself do so.

like i said, i'm very new so my interpretation may be completely off lol. i'm definitely open to hearing other thoughts on it. it's just a tarot read so it's not tea, just entertainment. i hope i made sense 😭

Welcome Tarot Ghost (no shade but finally a name that’s a little different lol)

I’m no tarot reader so I’m just as lost and confused here.

Purpose: I guess she’s unable to choose or see her true purpose in terms of decision making?

Motivation: based on current feelings I can see that. I suspect she will be more motivated when SW passes

Responsibilities: my issue is if she lost roles due to her online hate (again not really her fault), I don’t get why she stays online tbh. If I’m a casting director and I go to see if she’s matured in the past 2 years, I would be disappointed that she’s still fighting and acting silly online

Projects: “searching for purpose” 👀 means sense why her purpose is confusing then because she doesn’t know or is confused herself

Rewards: her peers don’t have controversies so she’s working hard to fight against people who are well liked and received. Tbh why would I choose R over another actress who’s less online and has more fans (casting directors probably ask this same question)?

Career potential: not to keep harping on it. But good karma will come to her when she stops caring about the public’s opinions, focuses on her career and stays offline. I have faith this will happen in the next 2 years…

Thanks Tarot Ghost! Great start :)

[wanou-dorm]

HSA- Nextunia - Alban Schnee

𝗕𝗜𝗢𝗚𝗥𝗔𝗣𝗛𝗜𝗖𝗔𝗟 𝗜𝗡𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗠𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡

Name:Alban Schnee 

HDD - Snow heart

Based on: Blanc and White heart 

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿: Male

𝗔𝗴𝗲: 18-20 it’s known that he’s the older

𝗕𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗱𝗮𝘆: January 1st 

𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻: Capricorn

𝗛𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁: 4’10

𝗘𝘆𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗿:dull Blue, Red in HDD

𝗛𝗮𝗶𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗿: White with hints dull blues 

Sky Blue and White ( HDD)

.

𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗙𝗙𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗨𝗦

𝗗𝗼𝗿𝗺: Nextunia 

𝗦𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿: Second year

𝗖𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀: 2-A

𝗢𝗰𝗰𝘂𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: Sector Leader/ Student 

𝗖𝗹𝘂𝗯: Movie club

𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝘂𝗯𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁: Literature / Computer 

Sexuality: ..NONE YOUR DAMN BUSINESSES! (Gay, hes just dosent want Vincent to find out .)

Homeland: The Shaftlands 

𝗙𝗨𝗡 𝗙𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗦:

𝗗𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱: Ambidextrous 

𝗙𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗼𝗱: Mushrooms , Ice Cream and Hot cocoa  

𝗟𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗼𝗱: Bean and Onion Rings

Likes: Video games , Plushies, His brothers ,Snow  

𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝘀: He’s Anger issues , seemingly His own Body or rather the Fact people  keep bringing how small he is , “ IM OVER 18 damn Age Verification system!!” , Being called a cute or a S**ta , Vincent ,Sh**acon 

𝗛𝗼𝗯𝗯𝘆: Writing, Video games , Hes Trying Stuff that Doesn't involves Breaking things, 

𝗧𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀: Creatively insulting people and things, 

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬 and Backstory:

The most Abrasive Member of the Dorm , Alban is as Blunt and Aggressive as it can get. He Rivals Gabrielle In how quick he can change for being Happy to “ GOD ,YOUR BOTH PIECES OF BIRD SHIT, GET A ROOM.“(This was said to Flynn and Rubina, though he was pinned between them on a bus.)

If he  dosent like it he will rip it apart . Alban is often  mistaken for a middle schooler despite Being in 2nd Year when he’s Clearly just Short.

 He’s also seems Jealous of almost every Man …. Who was Blessed with a more “Masculine”  body  than him.  Many people are Quick to point out that he’s Rather Bottom heavy which also Gets on his nerves  when point out even if it’s met to be Encouraging it’s better to not comment on his Figure at all . Most Students do under Estimate him

Also, don’t call Something like Cute or God Forbid you call him a Sh*ta your Going to straight to the Ninth circle of Hell and he’s Personally sending you there . 

Mess with his “little” brothers and you will rue the Day . 

Most surprisingly say Alban is actually pretty nice, all most Casual when he’s buttons aren’t pushed .He  just has a huge hair trigger Temper that works against him this was probably caused by Vincent who often finds some way to Tease mostly about his Figure or something  else compared to Vincent’s Army man Muscles . If only people would stop provoking him.

This Hair Trigger Temper is only worsen in HDD as most bets are off , He has Definitely lost All patience and Wants you to Back off. 

Unique Magic

White Purity -

 It Reverts something back into its “purest “ state. However if Used on A Senient Being Thier “ Purest” State Is  the State of which they are most powerful,Which is why he only uses it on non living things .

Triva

Alban is one the top Students in Nextunia for Combat , Hes Way stronger and Durable than he Looks .

Unlike Vert and Blanc, Vincent and Alban hate Each other’s guts . Even Plutus and Blake know when to stop pushing his buttons. Plutus said He once walked in to White Sector  to find Him unresponsive after Vincent came to “Tease” him after his Brothers  came to him in concern

Alban being Older , Yet only being in second Year  is actually kind of a joke of how some people view Nintendo  as lagging behind PlayStation and Xbox

 

Unlike Blanc he’s Good at writing Stories ,Even Down to Ridiculous Plot points such as “ Everyone is on a plane   When Another plane  crashes into it . It was a Final Destination Inspired Visual novel. With Choice of Protagonist being Gabrielle or Aiden.

His Brothers are Twins and taller than He is  but thier also little shits.

I often called them Reverse Octatrio.

It appear he may know Jack saying” I saw a White Wolf trying to Haul a Sled , He not as good as Hauling’em  as the Reindeer though . “ 

More Evidence is that , He says his Neighbors are Wolf Beastman and that thier Son  got accepted into night raven 

His HDD is  more Similar to Verts in style than  Blanc ,that’s mainly Due to this 

He’dp probably where Shorts and have another Suit underneath

He doesn’t exactly like Going HDD mainly do to so many people commenting on His physique

Alban is Very much confused by the many girls and some guys in Vincent’s Sector who admit to  liking  boys like “ Snow heart “

He’s Apparently good at Ice and Earth magic  

He hates sweltering Heat it when he’s the most Angry  unless you give himself Popsicle of Ice cream and Not Like Pull out near you Crouch he learned that with Vincent  . 

Apparently he has problems with camera and Sight based  age verification most believing he’s A Kid to forged. A Fake ID he Usally gets Plutus  to Vouch for him but sometimes they Don’t believe him so they get  Blake to buy it .

Frequents the School Counselor/Mascot  a lot. .

His Processor units are named for Nintendo consoles

Facts about Alban

Voice Claim: Chuuya Nakahara 

Theme Song

White Wings

Darkness my sorrow

Banner

[fencesandfrogs]

@elamarth-calmagol replied to your post “Anon hold on your ask is going thru peer review bc...”:

From what I've heard you have a pretty messed up relationship. Not to the point that i think you should cut her out of your lufe or something, but enough that you should know it's not normal. Also, like I said last time, she can ne a good person and not a good parent. You seem adament that she's a good person at heart, and I have no reason to disbelieve that. But it doesnt mean she's treating you the right way.

​:( yeah people keep telling me it's messed up and i keep talking about how it's messed up but i'm like. no it's not.

kind-of-jokingness-aside, i rly appreciate outside pov here. i'm feeling very allegory of the cave about this. especially bc the part that's like. the sunlight hurts. that's me when people r nice to me.

and a big feeling right now is this sense that like. idk i'm being overdramatic feeding on attention idk.

right now my goal is to have a good relationship with my mom. for a while it was going rly well and we weren't fighting at all which was nice and i wanted to keep that and now things are tense again and i'm not rly sure how things happened? just like. whoops they were good and now they're not sorry.

i dunno, i want u to know i appreciate this reply! i know i get rambly on these bc i start thinking which makes me sad which is a cycle so b4 i get too far into it i appreciate it.

i feel kind of like. "my mom is a good mom" feels like a fact of life, the way snow is cold. it's definitional. snow is cold. it's frozen water. if it gets too warm it melts. it can't be warm.

and so if everyone is saying my mom isn't a good mom, or even that she's not doing things right/making mistakes/shouldn't do X, then i must be misrepresenting her. because she is a good mom.

i read over some of the posts i've written and they set off the "lie" button in my brain but i don't know how to make them more true. other than the fact that i use yell as a shorthand for something that doesn't rly have a name. like ok maybe i could emphasize more that the only outcome here isn't getting yelled at, i'm just fixating on that bc i really don't want it to happen. i think i've tried to be clear about that, but it's not like this is definite. she might be mad, she might not be. i don't know. i am just trying to avoid her being mad at me.

n i think this whole discussion started because i talked about how i was sending her videos she would think r funny to put her in a good mood and then there was voting and now idk where we stand. and we haven't meaningfully talked since she called me on the phone and that's a whole can of worms i'm not opening right now.

but the point is i feel like if everyone is saying all this, i must be misrepresenting her. but i don't know how to represent her better.

and i don't really know where that leaves me.

[aactyng-blog]

how am i feeling about acting today

it's tuesday, november 15, 2022, 3:29P colorado time. i opened my laptop to edit the video and then had this idea. my ideas usually burst in that way. and i have another idea to run this text through google translate to get a vietnamese version.

belinda is interviewing a girl on zoom. it's cute, and awesome that belinda is having a conversation in hopes that the person / girl she's talking to, is skilled and great to work with. belinda has enough experience and knowledge to figure it out through this conversation.

zack is probably working at his desk.

and i was going to talk about my relationship with acting, w whatever it is that i'm trying to dedicate my life to. i found out that constance wu has a book. oh i would like to read that book. she also apparently has a daughter. how the entertainment industry, who r u and what are we to each other. i want to get distracted so bad, i want to look things up. but i guess i'll stay here for now.

this is my first entry and it could be short or it can be long. i'm reading kieu chinh's memoir, and siren queen by nghi vo. i just finished the acting bible, after two+ years. i'm very proud of myself. just like i would be proud of myself after i finish that video.

my lower back hurts. what that has to do w acting, is a mystery at first. i'm thinking about my lower back bc as much as i would like to sprint towards being a talented and successful actor, my mental and physical health cannot pay the price for it. i will not allow it. right...? it's tempting, so tempting. sometimes. to think, that i want acting to the point of sacrificing my well-being. it's easy to say when i am well. but seeing how messed up my life was, and thinking, would i go back there if someone guaranteed another line on hbo... guarantees, do those actually work. and i am selfish, i want more right? if i can imagine it, being, a line on hbo and not having to endure 2020, i will work towards it. like i am now. simultaneously trying to work on my health and when i'm able, on this 'career,' career, life.

so where am i right now. i'm in boulder colorado. the plan was to spend a holiday w my sister. to make sure she doesn't spend christmas by herself with the cats again bc she couldn't find a cat-sitter. i was appalled. i did not think that she would do that. and i was surprised. and i felt sad. she probably was ok, which is why she did it. but seeing that she would , or that would happen to her, i've decided to come to boulder when the snow starts to fall. to make sure, that she doesn't have to be alone during the cold holidays if she doesn't want to be. and what this has to do with acting, well, this is my life right now. acting is my life, and this is also my life.

acting is my life. spoken like i am an actor. how bizarre, i'm not acting right now, and yet i am an actor. but an actor that is out of work, is that person still an actor. an actor who is not good at acting, is that person still an actor? the simple and obvious answers are yes. the affirming answer is yes. and the enlightening process is that acting, for me, is a psychological wonder. since deciding dec 2013 / jan 2014, it's been quite a journey. so close to a decade, of this mindset. i lept off the cliff, sort of. but i kinda also did. and now i'm here. in boulder, sitting next to a cat. who would have thought. i wanna time travel just so i could have a conversation w myself.

hey

hey... um, what the fuck is going on.

just breathe. life is weird and i'm sure u know that

do i

yes, and u will

ok. what's going on

well, i'm you, but from the future

how long are you going to be here

i'm not sure, hopefully for a while

why do u say that

bc i wanna hang out w u

word

i just want to tell u, don't do regret # 1 and don't sleep or even touch mano.

WUT, wut is regret #1 and, i'm going to sleep w mano?

let's pretend we have telepathy and u know what regret #1 is.

omg, i'm a fucking monster.

u didn't know better. i'm sorry. and hopefully me telling u now will prevent u from making such a horrible mistake.

but doesn't this mean that something else horrible is going to happen? somethng that u don't know about bc you're changing the past right now

possibly

ur trying to fix my life, our life, but instead, youre fucking it up beyond our imagination

well i couldn't not try

since we're thinking this through rn, let's just learn the lesson, that we have to learn our lessons. we have to live w what life gives us, as shitty is it is. just fucking take it. make peace with it. we can't change it.

well then, u still have a choice. u spare her, then something else will happen, so do u stick to a familiar wrong, or take the risk, even accept a more horrible wrong.

are we smart or are we dumb.

we like surprises too much.

fuck.

please don't sleep w bao thai from the monastary in the south

who the fuck even is that

you're a slut, what can i say. i mean, we kinda knew that as a kid,

uggghhh you're literally ruining my life

it's not me, it's society. we are merely a drop of water in this waving ocean

but you're also kinda cool.

yea, well. we're trying to grow lotuses from the mud, and it seems like, even when we don't try, we can at least grow some leaves or pond weeds.

...

i'm not going to explain, (fuck the audience, if u know, good job, if u don't, whatever, good luck.)

wow this is really enlightening.

i mean, it's a miracle

ur trying to heal the past

how do u know

i'm u, and maybe this miracle bequeaths me some special powers too

my god, i love this too much

it's great

yea

i'm sorry

no i'm sorry

we're both sorry then. life seemed rough

haha, you're telling me after u just got fucked twice in vietnam

well, i'm glad u lived through it, in addition to apparently bigger fuck ups.

yea. well. thanks.

you're welcome. anytime

r u actually from 2014, u seem a lot wiser.

miracle magic, and cmon, this is all imaginary, enjoy it

thanks

you're welcome, again. -- so it's gonna be rough huh

yea

can u write down a list

sure

better yet, just send it telepathically through your mind

ok. um, let's see

OK, so no messing w her, dam, who the fuck is brock turner, and good job chanel. WTF i'm fucking messedup. i cheat on them?

yea

NOOOOOOO no no no no no T_T

i'm sorry, but u can, not do it?

can i? do i really have a choice, isn't something worse going to happen?

is it

UGHHH god, i'm horrible, you're horrible, i haven't done it yet. but GAD

i'm sorry my love

don't call me that

you sound like belinda

belinnddaaaa, how is she

she's a boss, like always. she's awesome, but sometimes mean, but also a good person, always.

her compass is always straight, except when it comes to herself

again, aren't u supposed to be from 2014.

what can i say, getting fucked twice so close to each other gave me some insight

touche

ok so what else.

i think that's enough for now, we're going through a lot right now.

u haven't even gotten to the mano thing.

well the mano thing was recent. and thinking about it, that's it. don't fuck them, don't cheat on them, don't sleep w the dude from the monastary, move to la immediately, go to acting school immediately, and when u meet, q, never let him go. and don't sleep w mano.

can't wait to meet q

i can't wait for u to meet q. y'all get married.

whooooaa

sorta

of course i would sorta marry someone. ok, don't touch mano. got it

good, i'm glad you understand that now

how was it

to be honest, it was ok, even though it was always fucked, and then u really go fucked. i'm still trying to deal w it now.

dam, i'm sorry dude.

it's ok dude.

u look good

thanks. -- ok, i think it's my time to go

wau, so short. i hope to see u again, i hope that we can hang out forever and ever

me too love. take care and good luck.

thanks, u too.

bye

bye

ok wow, good job. good good good job. r we gonna edit the video now. um, im not sure. translate into vietnamese, i'm not sure. i will keep breathing though. good job babe. good good good job~

[everyscreentoobeseen]

Langa might have been written ace on purpose. Let me explain.

After reading a bunch of ace spectrum headcanons and then rewatching Ad*m ruin everything the anime.

I've realized something. Ad*m and Langa are obviously written to be compared and contrast to each other. They were both taught to skate by a person close to them. They are both prodigious in skateboarding. Hell, they are the only two people to enter "The Zone" and not get seriously injured. But there is a big difference between them.

No, it's not the money. No, it's not their friendships with their mentors. No, it's not even their hair color. It's one of the most overlooked aspects of their characters.

It's about sex. Or lack thereof for Langa.

From the first moment, we meet Matador Hisoka, is when he is watching Langa win against Shadow, on his dozens of flat screens, shirtless. I know that when I saw it I was immediately uncomfortable because it evoked the image of a guy watching p*rn alone in his room. With Langa being the sex object he prefers to view.

Then we see it get worse. He grabs people and pulls them as close as close as he wants them to be. He talks like he's in an Christain bdsm erotica comparing Langa to Eve, the wife and submissive lover of Ad*m. Calls Tadashi his dog and makes a lot of sexually charged comments to both of them.

It's no surprise that the fandom was quick to call him a r*pist and a ped* because that man seemed to see everything in a red tinted light. The only times when he wasn't making innuendos was when talking to politicians. Which is infered to be him hiding his true self. Now take everything I just said and compare it to Langa.

Langa dosen't do innuendos or metaphors. Everything he says is printed on the label. He says what's on his mind and keeps it short. In the beach episode he didn't give a damn about trying to get a girl. While Reki and Shadow were angry then elated when Joe was picking up the girls then scewred up. Langa was chewing on a Watermelon. Probably thinking of skating.

Miya only messed with Joe for a laugh/ to make Reki and Shadow laugh. Langa was offscreen and didn't even engage in the scene besides the iconic "I'll protect you." scene. If Ad*m was there? *shivers* Just imagine that horrible fate. But why does that matter? What does this have to do with Ad*m?

Well, think about everyone else he raced with. With the first Reki beef, he didn't hesitate to grab him, place him in suggestive positions, and just make him really uncomfortable. Reki knows the innuendo of these actions. Whether or not he's str8, g@y, or b!, he is affected by ad*ms advances and it scares him.

Miya talks to ad*m before the beef and finds out about Ad*m's past and that he was *in love* with all his skating partners who he put in the hospital. We pan to a shot of Miya's face being freaked out. He loses the beef.

Cherry and Ad*m have a past. Cherry spends the entire race believing that since Ad*m and him were close once there is nothing Ad*m can do to mess with him. That must be why Ad*m never skated against him before. Then he assaults Cherry. Then he callously remarks, "I never raced against you because you were too boring. The only one worthy is Snow." Adam might've well bitch slapped Cherry and said "I only dated you cause you were easy. Youve already been replaced so dont think our relationship was anything more than that."

Now after all those examples let's compare them to Langa's beefs.

The first time he's doing it as a requirement for the beef Reki lost. When Ad*m gives him a bouquet, he just straight up accepts it. No blushing, no weird looks, nothing more then a thanks. Every one else is creeped out, rightfully so. But then the beef starts, Adam's psychological game of a smoking headstart doesn't work on Langa.

He came for a proper match not to be toyed with. Adam puts the cigs away and races Langa. Then he grabs Langa. Makes him pose in weird angles. Spins him around like a doll. Grabs his hands and pushes him into a suggestive stance. But when he asks Langa if he's scared, Langa smiles.

When I first saw this I was confused? Was he having fun with Adam? Was he thrilled by the near death experience. Looking back on it I think I finally have an answer.

Langa found the chink in his armor.

Everyone else was so caught up in being uncomfortable with Ad*m touching them that they didn't realize something important. As long as Ad*m is holding onto his partner, neither of them can win. If the partner falls while holding onto adam, Ad*m gets pulled down with them.

So he rushes forward and holds on tight. Adam takes this as a sign. That Langa and him are the same but they're not. Langa wasn't doing it to reciprocate any feelings Adam had, he was doing it to win the race.

It probably didn't cross his mind what the action could be misinterpreted as, he was just trying to have fun and skate.

It doesn't matter how much Adam tries to provoke langa in a sexual manner, the only Langa cares about is skating. Getting back into "The Zone" is what keeps Langa interested in Ad*m not some weird sexual awakening like many had theorized.

As far as I can tell all sexual aspects go right over Langa's head, which is a common experience in the ace community where someone might make a sex joke and it might not click until later. I can attest to that one personally.

A little while later this becomes a conflict between Reki and Langa in ep 7. When Langa enters the tournament he's dosen't get why Reki wouldn't want him too. In a way he doesn't understand the psychological harm Adam caused Reki.

Adams advances on Reki felt violating.

Adams advances on Langa were nothing.

The fact that Langa cant wrap his head around why it's a bad idea to skate against someone as dangerous and gross as Adam is a real issue.

Just imagine if someone made you uncomfortable, manhandling you, and then sending you to the hospital because you didn't respond to them correctly. Then your bestfriend spends alone time with them but then comes out completely fine. You make them promise to never hang out with them again and then they just casually remark they are going to meet them again on Friday.

That's a messed up situation and the fact that Langa cares more about skating with Ad*m then how Reki feels about it is an actual issue that warrents a 3 episode freindship hiatus.

Then Langa thinks about how skating isn't fun without Reki and Reki cant enjoy skating without Langa. They come together and have that proposal scene which will go down in history as the gayest sports anime scene without kissing. On Langa's side I think he realized while Adam might be able to get him into "the zone" it's not nearly as fulfilling as the relationship he has with Reki. (romantically or not)

Reki might of just been ready to forgive Langa after being miserable without him for a few days but hearing Langa go on and on about Reki made him realize that Langa doesn't actually care about Adam the way he was implied to in Ep 7. He was just trying to skate and didn't quite realize the effect it had on Reki.

While I do think we needed an episode focused on Reki getting over his fear of Adam before the beef it was nice to see Reki taking on Adam similarly to Langa.

He took all the blows like a champ and when the time came, he used the chink in the armor to his advantage and almost won against him by using strategy against brute strength of talent. We also got protective!Langa so we can infer that Langa realized that Adam being near Reki wasn't an okay thing anymore.

Then we have the last beef. All the dramatics and sexual undertones didn't faze Langa. Then only thing that hinders Langa is "The Zone." Where he becomes stuck in the numb state. Langa feels nothing even when he's falling. That only thing that snaps him out of that state is when he sees the FUN on his board and remembers that Reki is waiting for him on the other side. He gets himself into gear and even manages to pull Adam out of the zone.

Then when they crash into eachother and Langa is getting up, he holds his skateboard up and asks Adam to skate with him. Maybe he realized that Ad*m wasn't having fun and decided to be the good guy. (I don't know, I don't like this scene very much) But it makes Adam remember how he met Tadashi. Back when they were both little kids who just wanted to have fun. That shakes him up. Adam existed in a world where everything had an underlying meaning and for him to realize the importance of just plain human connection made him reflect on his life so far. Especially with the contrast of two little kids who hung out to skate with the implication of them now being to grown adults who probably are into some 🐶👀 kinda shit. Langa's innocence was what shook Adam and that even after Langa met all the requirements to be his "Eve" he didn't try to harass Langa after the race. (The parachuting scene doesn't count dont ask me about this. I don't have an answer)

Langa won and jumped into his bestfriend's arms like a little kid. Adam walked away from the finish trying to figure out what the merits were in having a relationship based on love instead of obsession.

Adam is still a sexual being. That's not something even Jesus himself, could change but he now doesn't feel the need to have every conversation be filled with sexual undertones. Unless it's Tadashi. Who I think is now in a monogamous relationship with him. Could be wrong though. The dog thing could be interpreted many different ways. Langa opened his eyes to a world where skating and relationships were more innocuous.

In conclusion, Langa was written as someone with little to no sexual urges as narrative foil to Ad*m's constant sexual nature. Whether or not the writers intended to make Langa asexual is up for debate but it's not a coincidence that the fans are headcanoning Langa as ace since he was essentially written as one in order to face Ad*m as a formidable opponent without being tripped up.

Just to clarify I dont think that ace people can't be made to feel violated or are unable to understand when they are being harrassed. But Langa's ability to be unfazed by Ad*m's sexual undertones was important to the Adam vs Langa plot as it made him a psychologically strong individual that Adam could barely get into his head. Then helped Adam realize something flawed in his understanding of people and skating.

It was also important to Reki and Langa's relationship because Langa needed to realize the importance of empathy and having freinds who establish healthy boundaries and respecting them even if you don't understand why they have them there. Also that even if you feel fine around certain people when your freinds are suffering because of that person it's best to acknowledge that and be willing to protect them.

Therefore, Langa being ace is just as heavily implied and important to the story as Renga's relationship is. I think it's really cool how Langa's sexuality wasn't even brought up once but still impacted the story in a subtle but quintessential way.

[julietnterein]

Bed time story

(n. r. x reader)

Warnings: Angst, mention of abuse, mention of rape

A/U: Hello! This is my very first Natasha Romanoff short story, if you would like me to write your prompt just hit me up! Hope you are going to enjoy this.

A snow was quietly falling on your porch, but that did not bother you at all. You loved the Winter season, you loved the Holidays and so did your small girl.

A small blond girl was putting away her last toy with a huge yawn on her face.

„Alright, dove, it's past your bedtime. Let's get you to bed.” You pick her up as the four year old raises her hands towards you. „You are getting heavier every day, I swear!” You tickle her a little as you are taking her upstairs to her room. She giggles while you are putting her into the bed, tucking her in and then kissing her forehead. You cross the room to put the small light into the socket.

„Wait, mama…” She stops you, knowing very well that light in the socket means sleepy time.

„What is it, dove?” You look at her with a small smile as you cross the room to her bed.

„What about a bedtime story?” She looks at you with large puppy eyes.

„It's already really late, Lia.” You check the clock in the hallway, which is showing something before quarter to ten.

„Pretty pleasee….” She begs you.

You roll your eyes. „Okay, okay...But scooch over, I'm not sitting on the floor this time.” You jump into her bed and let her snuggle up to you. „So which one are we telling today?”

„I want the one about the spy!” She exclaimed excitedly.

„Which one do you mean, dove?” You frown your brows, trying to remember which story it probably was.

„The one that had red hair!” She looks at you, almost hurt by your own words, that you could have forgotten about her favourite bedtime story.

You smile sadly at the small girl and nod. „I remember now.” You make yourself more comfortable in your daughter's bed. And as she snuggle up closer into your arms you are starting with the story, that is about a woman spy that was in love with a normal citizen, but this story has darker corners than you tell your daughter, this story is far far away from a love story and definitely does not end with a happy end like you tell your daughter.  

You used to work as a recruit for a S.H.I.E.L.D, not that you were going for missions and stuff, but you were dealing with the important paperwork. So you often did get into contact with the higher level agents and sometimes even with the infamous Natasha Romanoff or Clint Barton. Agent Barton was your favourite kind of agent, he was funny, he always asked how you were doing, he was the exact opposite of Romanoff. You did not take it personally, how could you? She was dealing with danger on a daily basis and you understand the last thing that would have concerned her was how was your day going. But you don't even know when it happened when she was bringing you the folders of reports from her mission with a smug smile on her face and she never forgot to wish you a nice day when she left your office. But it was just that, nothing else.

And when all the shit fell on your head and you were on your lowest point she was actually the one who noticed. She noticed that you were no longer having lunch with your colleagues, that you were no longer wishing everyone to have a great day and giving them the warmest smile. You started to fade.

A huge pile of papers suddenly falls onto your desk with a loud slap. You quickly jump in your seat, looking up at the smile of agent Romanoff, that just got back with her reports from her mission in Europe. There was an ugly bruise on her cheek and a gash wound on her forehead, but she was still smiling down at you, until she noticed how much your hands were shaking. „Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to-...”

„It's alright, it's alright.” You quickly snap out, cutting her off in the middle of her sentence. „Thank you for the reports, agent. I will work it on it later.” You don't even look her in the eyes, as you can feel a stinging tear forming at the corner of your eye, so you turn on your computer, trying to look really busy.

She stays in your office for a bit longer that she should, taking all in your whole body language. She knew something was off, she just couldn't figure out what.

You were so glad when the clocks finally showed four in the afternoon and you had left your office and tried to get home quickly while the sun was still up.

No one knew what happened to you, when you stayed out longer than usual the last time. As you close the door behind yourself, you can feel the panic attack slowly building up, somewhere in your chest as your breath became shorter. You are quickly trying to think of the breath exercise your therapist told you about, but your thoughts are too far away now. There was no turning back this time. That's why you sit down on the floor, in the middle of hallway in your apartment, tears slowly streaming down your face and your breath having trouble producing the oxygen you need.

You were back. It was dark, but you could have seen the street lamps. You were out of breath, you were chased. But you knew you were almost home. It was just one block away, if you were a bit quicker, you could have been alright. But you ran into the trap, he outrun you. You were caught. Trapped like a mouse, unable to do something. He was just stronger and you had to wait, you were ruined. You stayed on the cold ground when he was done, unable to move, tears were streaming down your face, shaking.

There was a ring at your door, but you haven't heard it, because in that moment you are far far away in your thought, living the horrible moment over and over again. But what brought you back to reality was a key in your door, unlocking them. In that moment you were just staring at the door in horror, it had to be him, he came for you again, you thought.

The door slightly opened. „Y/N?” A quiet voice echoed through your apartment.

You were still too paralized to being able to answer, you just stared at the door when she opened them fully. „I found your spare key, I felt like checking up on-... Oh god, Y/N, are you okay?” She rushes right next to you, when she notices your small frame shaking on your own floor. „Did you fell? Are you hurt?” She checks your whole body, but you just shake your head, unable to speak out, because you knew you would start crying if you just try. „Okay, good, good… I'm so sorry that I barged in here like that, but I just felt something was off with you lately…” But she doesn't continue, she can see what state you are in, of course something is off, someone should have checked up on you a long time ago. „What happened?” She whispers into the dark. „Did someone… hurt you?” She asks carefully, but that question just brings more chills into your body and you are bursting out crying, falling into her arms, shaking. She doesn't ask anymore, she just holds you really close, strokes your hair and lets you cry through her shirt. „I've got you now. You are safe.” She repeats quietly over and over, until you don't have any more tears to shed and you have to tell her. So you do. You tell her everything, what he has done to you and that now you are carrying his baby. And she listens, she doesn't interrupt you, she holds your hand when you need her to. And then you cry again, finding more salty fluid in your eyes, that once again soaks her shirt through, until you fall asleep in her arms.

And after that night, she never really left, she was always around, she helped you heal. Even when she was gone on her missions, she made sure you had everything you needed, and as she was here for you, you were here for her, you were there after really bad missions with opened arms and baby bumps to snuggle to. At those nights you were the one who stroked her hair and let her fall asleep in your arms.

But all this got messed up really quickly again, you were almost due, when Thanos and the snap happened. And unfortunately for Natasha, you were snapped away.

And when you came back, everything you knew was gone. Natasha was gone. But this time you had no one's shirt to cry into. This time you were alone.

You had to run, everything around you was just too much, you saw her everywhere. Barton helped you move to Europe, even though you were due in a couple of weeks. He helped with everything, maybe he felt guilty, even though he never really told you what happened to her.

But then you gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, and she was no longer something that would remind you of the horrible events, she was just your little baby. And suddenly you weren't alone. And as she cried in your arms you whispered those words to her: „I've got you now. You are safe.”

But this story wasn't for your daughters ears, not yet. She will know one day, but this time the story end well. And you whisper: „And they lived happily ever after.” You look down at the sleeping blond girl. You have to be really careful when you are getting up, trying not to wake her up. Then you tuck her in and kiss her forehead: „Goodnight, my sweet, Natalia.”

[lazypeachsoul]

hvitserk ragnarsson's character alphabet.

Thanks for the request! The character alphabet was created by @imnotusedtobeingloved and you can find it HERE if you want to request more. Gif by @imdancingintherain07

Masterlist

You can be added to my taglist through THIS LINK or you can ask me through my inbox.

anon requested: "hey! may I request (a, f, l, r and v) for Hvitserk from the character alphabet??"

A - affection (how affectionate are they? what do they enjoy?)

Out of the sons of Ragnar, Hvitserk is the most affectionate of them. He does not shy away from showing his affections towards his lover. In fact, sometimes he needs to be stopped and reminded that they are in public.

But also, Hvitserk is not very good at differentiating kinds of affection. This boy cannot stop himself from flirting with every girl he crosses. Actually, he flirts with almost everybody, but it's not because he's thinking of cheating or he's not happy. It's because he just can't stop himself.

He's also the cheesy kind of affectionate person. He would gift his lover silly things like flowers.

Spring was in full bloom and it could be felt all around Kattegat, making everybody happier. Women enjoying the warmth of the sun, kids running around finally able to play outside and the prospect of raiding exciting the most adventurous.

Walking around town a small group of young girls tried to finish the chores their mothers had asked them to complete. But spring also brought around new beginnings...and the prospect of new love.

A commotion in the market brought them out of their conversation. Making its way between the groups of people and shouting apologies was a blond man. Of course the ruckus was his doing.

As soon as he spotted the group of girls his smile grew and his step became faster. The group turned to look at one of them, who was busying herself with a loose thread in her clothes to avoid being seen.

Hvitserk stopped promptly when he reached the girls and with a soft nod he acknowledged them, but his gaze was on the only one who wasn't looking at him. Clearing his throat he pushed a white and purplish flower in her direction.

"Good morning, my dearest." The girls around him tried to hold their laughter but failed. "I saw this flower and thought of you."

A chuckle was hard from one of the friends but was quickly disguised as a cough when several harsh glares were thrown her way.

"Thank you Hvitserk, it's a beautiful lady of the snows."

"It is...but now that it's in your hands it's lost all it's beauty compared to yours."

F - family (do they want to start a family?)

Hvitserk definitely would like a family, a big one too. The idea of his legacy passing down through generations fills him with excitement. He would get worried sometimes because his family wasn't the best. But the he remembers how much he cares for his brothers, even when they are at eachother's throats, and the worries would go away.

The idea of a family wasn't always in his mind though. When he was a child he dreamed of being a great warrior and conquering new lands. When he became a your man and started falling for girls, he never envisioned more than a fun time in the woods.

It wasn't until his thirst for battle dwindled a bit and he found a girl he actually wanted for more than just fun that the idea of a family started creeping up.

But even when it's decided to start a family he wouldn't care much about how long it took for pregnancy to happen. The gods know how much he enjoys the process.

L - love language (what's their love language?)

Physical touch is how Hvitserk expresses love. He sometimes might find it difficult to talk about his feelings and he finds that a touch can convey more than a thousand words.

Nobody is surprised by the touches that are shared by Hvitserk and his lover during feasts or even walking through Kattegat. He has a reputation of being a lover. But nobody knows how much those touches convey between the lovers.

Gift giving is also a big way for him to express his love. Especially when it comes to gifts from raiding. He uses them to tell his lover that they are always in his mind. It doesn't even have to be gold or jewels. It's usually something more personal.

He experiences the most love through words of affirmation. Either big praises when nobody cares about his part in a big fight or raid; or small affirmations about how good his hunt was or how he looked.

R - rivals (how do they handle jealousy?)

At first he would just laugh, because he had expected everybody to know who his lover is and not to mess with them. Who would want one of the Ragnarsson's against them?

When the other man ddoesn't relent in his flirting, and he can't see you trying to resist, his blood starts to boil. Probably because he feels threatened and Ivar's remarks about the situation are not helping.

He would either get too angry because he doesn't see any fight on his lover's part and try to get them jealous too by flirting with other girls. Which would just degenerate in a big fight that could be heard from every house in Kattegat.

Or he would get angry at the man and all hell would break loose. He would punch before asking, starting a fight that ended with Hvitserk sporting a black eye and busted knuckles. Ivar scoffing about how he didn't fight properly and his lover angry at him for the scene.

But he could easy convince her to stop being angry, that's why they call him charming.

V - vulnerable (how vulnerable do they allow themselves to get?)

Very vulnerable. At first he would be guarded because he's not used to let his feelings known, always shadowed by Ivar's big and uncontrollable emotions.

But when he feels comfortable he will let his guard down, just wanting to let everything he has been holding inside for so long go. And maybe start healing his emotional wounds.

[intoanothermind]

Beauty Queen - Chapter 2

B E A U T Y  Q U E E N

Synopsis: You are the Ice Princess of Narnia during the Long Winter. Your sister Jadis, the White Witch, hates that you’re always helping Narnians escape prision. She decides to hunt you down and you have to run away from the palace. What happens when you find the four humans lost in Narnia?

- Edmund Pevensie x reader

Masterlist

<Chapter 1 | Chapter 3>

(This chapter is focused on the four Pevensie, but I’ll be posting the next one soon. Just to remind you that the dialogues were translated from Brazilian verson, so you might them a bit different.)

----

C H A P T E R  T W O

“Peter, Peter, wake up!” shouted Lucy, turning on the light and jumping over sister him. “It’s there! It's right there!”

“Lucy, what are you talking about?” mumbled Peter, fidgeting in bed.

“Narnia!” said Lucy happily. “It’s in the wardrobe, like I told you!”

“Oh, you 're just dreaming, Lucy.” Susan said, approaching.

“But it wasn't a dream!” insisted Lucy. “I saw Mr. Tumnus again! And this time Edmund did too.”

Susan looked at Edmund in disbelief. Edmund looked at them, thinking about what he would say.

“Did you... Did you see the faun?” asked Peter.

Edmund didn't say anything, just shook his head.

“Well... - started Lucy, getting up from Peter's bed. “Actually, he didn't go there with me. He...” She turned and Edmund frowned, a little suspicious. “What did you do, Edmund?”

Edmund wished he could say that he found a charming girl, but he knew that Susan and Peter would think him as crazy as Lucy.

“I wanted to... Play a little.” said Edmund.

Lucy looked quickly at Peter, not knowing what to think.

“Sorry, Peter.” Edmund continued, proudly. “I shouldn't have encouraged it, but... You know how kids are nowadays.” Lucy already could feel the tears starting to fall. “They don’t know when to stop pretending.” he said finally, sitting on his bed, but getting up soon after.

Lucia was already crying freely. She ran out the door while Edmund stood up with a victorious smile. Susan went after her and Peter got out of bed and when he passed his brother, he knocked him over. They ran after Lucy, listening to her sobs. Lucy wanted to run away from them. She bumped into someone. She barely saw that it was Professor Kirke and hugged him around the waist.

“You are just about to go to sleep in the bulls!” Mrs. Macready complained, but when she saw Professor Kirke, she hurried to say. “Professor. Excuse me. I told them you didn't want to be disturbed.”

“Okay, Mrs. Macready, I know there is an explanation.” he said, looking directly at Susan and Peter. “But first I think the little one needs a hot chocolate.” he said, pushing Lucy slightly towards Mrs. Macready.

“Come on, honey.” said Mrs. Macready to Lucy softly.

Lucy went with Mrs. Macready, but she could still hear Professor Kirke clearing his throat. Lucy could imagine him giving a speech to his older siblings.

~ * ~

“And Peter is preparing another big shot!” said Peter, running a few steps and throwing the ball, which hit Edmund's leg.

“Hey!”

“Oops!”

They were in the backyard.

Peter, Susan and Edmund played baseball, while Lucy was sitting on a nearby tree, reading some book. However Edmund wasn’t concentrating enough. He thought of his brief time in Narnia, but what intrigued him was Y/N and all the mystery around her.

“Wake up, Sleeping Beauty!” said Peter.

“Why don't we play hide and seek again?” asked Edmund.

“Didn't you say it was a child's game?” Peter asked ironically, taking the ball and going back to the mark.

“And here we can play outdoors.” Susan said.

“It isn’t fun to stay here outside.” complained Edmund.

Peter straightened up and stood so that he could throw the ball freely.

“Are you ready?” Peter asked.

“And you?” asked Edmund.

Edmund hit the grass twice with his bat, while Peter got ready and ran, throwing the ball into the air. Edmund hit back, but the ball went through a second floor window. The four looked at each other, startled. Everyone ran as fast as possible to the second floor, in the room where the glass was broken and armour was knocked over.

“I can't believe it, Ed!” said Peter.

“You broke it!” said Edmund nervously.

“Guys, calm down.” Susan said. “It's just Mrs. Macready not discovering it.”

“What is happening up there?!” they heard Mrs. Macready's voice from below, with the sound of her shoes hitting the wooden stairs.

“Come on!” Peter said, running all through a side door.

They ran down the hall, past the study room. But they stopped when they heard the footsteps go again.

“No , wait, wait! This way, this way!” said Edmund, pushing them by the way they came from.

They ended up in another corridor. They went up another ladder and Susan tried to open a door, but it was locked and the steps were getting closer. The tension was suffocating them. Everyone kept trying several doors, and the sound of footsteps was getting closer and closer. Edmund, then , had an idea. He ran to the door that led into the wardrobe room. He threw it open and ran to the wardrobe. The others followed .

“Come in!” said Edmund.

“It can only be a joke!” said Susan.

But then they heard Mrs. Macready's footsteps coming down the hall. Everyone entered the wardrobe and seconds before Mrs. Macready opened the wing door, Peter was walking back, pushing everyone.

“Get back!”

“Oh, my foot!” complained Lucy, being pushed backwards.

“I’m not stepping on your toes!” Susan said.

“You're hurting me!” said Edmund.

“Stop pushing yourselves!” said Peter.

“My foot again!” said Lucy.

“Sorry, Lu.” Susan said.

Everyone pushed, until they saw some branches.

“Branches?!” Susan asked.

“Why would there be branches in a wardrobe?!” asked Peter.

And then they all fell on top of each other, on top of the newly fallen snow. Peter, who fell on top, got up and helped the sisters to get up. Edmund stood up and brushed the snow off his clothes. He looked around, wondering if Y/N was around.

“Impossible!” exclaimed Susan, looking admired around.

“It's all right.” said Lucy, looking for others with hidden snowball behind her body. “It’s only your imagination.”

“I imagine apologizing isn’t enough.” said Peter.

“No , it's not.” said Lucy. Soon after, she threw the snowball at Peter, hitting him in the face. “But that's enough!” she shouted, turning to get another snowball.

And then the war started. Peter and the girls were having fun. Snowballs thrown here and there, until one hit Edmund’s arm and the playing ended.

“You liar!” accused Peter, getting angry.

“You also didn’t believe her.” said Edmund. “None of you did.”

“Apologize to Lucy.” Peter ordered.

But Edmund did nothing. He just looked at Lucy and looked back at Peter, but said nothing. This irritated the blonde deeply.

“Apologize!” Peter insisted.

“Okay!” and turned to Luc . “I'm sorry.”

“It’s okay...” said Lucy, making everyone turn to her. “Some kids don't know when to stop pretending.”

“Funny.” Edmund sneered.

“We better get back!” Susan said, afraid.

“We should at least take a look...” Edmund said, indicating the trees, praying silently to find Y/N, since he was there.

“I think that Lucy should decide.” Peter replied.

“I don't know...” said Lucia, undecided. “I wanted you to meet Mr. Tumnus!” she said, turning to the others.

“Let's meet Mr. Tumnus!” said Peter cheerfully.

“But we can't walk through the snow in these clothes!” said Susan.

“No.” said Peter, returning from the trees with several coats in hands and handing them all. “But I bet the Professor doesn't care that we wear coats. If you think logically...” he handed one to Susan with a winning smile on her face. “We're not even taking it out of the wardrobe.”

“But it's a girl's coat!” complained Edmund when receiving his.

“I know.” Peter frowned, still extending his coat to the brunette.

They found themselves in front of a canyon, where there was an opening in the front, like a cave.

“There's a lot of delicious food here and we're going to drink a lot of...” Lucy told them, but when she saw that the door was broken, she quickly stopped where she was. “... tea.”

Everyone stopped, watching the metal door fall towards the shelter, broken open.

“Lu?” Peter called.

A second later, Lucy recovered from the shock and ran towards the house.

“Lucy!” shouted Peter, following with others after her.

They passed the door frame and saw that the place seemed pleasant. It was completely messed. Tables and chairs overturned on the floor, books on overturned shelves, papers on the floor, broken dishes. The place had an melancholic and depressing air.

“Who would do such a thing?” asked Lucy, more to herself than to others.

She walked through the rubble, looking for any clue as to what really happened. Edmund stepped on a glass and looked down, seeing a portrait of an old faun. The photograph, which was an inked canvas, was torn by claws.

He was about to say something when they heard a noise in a door stuck at the end of the cave.

[tiredbiostudent]

Hi! Could you maybe recommend some music, I keep listening to the same three songs and would love to find something new, doesn't have to be a specific genre. Also, you're blog is wonderful!

omg this is so sweet my heart is 🥺 rn but also, idk how much I can help because I also genuinely will listen to one song for an entire week straight and haven’t had a ton of time to find new music lately! but here’s some genre breakdowns of artists I love and some songs by them, or just individual tunes:

[edit: sorry this got insanely long!! I can maybe link spotify playlists if I ever get around to making some ‘:) but tl;dr my fave artists are frank ocean, sigrid, hozier, ben howard, cezinando, khalid, childish gambino, nas, lorde, the lumineers, rhcp, girl in red and travis scott]

1. guitar/rock indie-arcade fire: neighbourhood #3, the well and the lighthouse, we exist, afterlife, the suburbs, ready to start, SUBURBAN WAR!! (listen to the entire suburbs album if you want to feel rlly nostalgic about ur childhood)-ben howard (my favourite artist ever, I saw him live and it was phenomenal): rivers in your mouth, time is dancing, I forget where we were, only love, black flies, oats in the water, she treats me well, towing the line, follaton wood-rhcp (long time fave): under the bridge, by the way, californiacation, scar tissue, otherside, goodbye angels, dani California, snow (hey oh), tell me baby-city and colour (another old fave who I’ve also seen live and is amazing!! if you like hozier and the lumineers you’d like him, a bit of a less intense sound though): sleeping sickness, what makes a man, waiting…, constant knot, the golden state, killing time, wasted love, runaway, map of the world, blood, the grand optimist :’), northern wind, hello I’m in delaware-the scientist by coldplay.. if u haven’t been emo about this song since 2003 wyd-haven’t listened to her in forever but cosmic love by florence + the machine >>-girl in red (her music is great but her LYRICS r literally my soul): i wanna be your girlfriend, summer depression, i need to be alone, 4am, girls, say anything, bad idea, i’ll die anyway, we fell in love in october-harry styles: adore you, fine line, golden, sunflower vol. 6, sweet creature, lights up, to be so lonely, sign of the times, HIS COVER OF ULTRALIGHT BEAM-hozier (ANOTHER fave, fucking insane live too. sir ily): work song, in the woods somewhere, sedated, cherry wine, almost (sweet music) [song equivalent to a warm summer evening], movement !! holy f-, as it was, be, wasteland baby!-broken by lovelytheband-the lumineers (my guys!!!!): cleopatra, sleep on the floor, angela, long way from home, sick in the head, my eyes, white lie, donna, salt and the sea, slow it down, stubborn love-where’s my love by syml-mitski: washing machine heart, old friend, nobody, lonesome love-sam roberts band: bridge to nowhere, brother down, if you want it-saturn by sleeping at last-sufjan stevens: mystery of love, visions of Gideon (I don’t stan cmbyn but literally these two songs are the only thing I listened to from dec 2017 to feb 2018), the hidden river of my life, futile devices, Vesuvius-love will tear us apart cover by susanna and the magical orchestra-vance joy: mess is mine, Georgia, my kind of man, Saturday sun, we’re going home, lay it on me, take your time, I’m with you !!, like gold, crashing into you-remember when by wallows !!!

2. chill indie/pop-billie eilish: idontwannabeyouanymore, ilomilo, my strange addiction, bury a friend-cezinando (also my fave artist, and noen ganger is probs my fave album of all time): ingenting blir det samme men samme for meg, selv du, haper du har plass (if u can make it thru this song w/o crying on public transportation you are much stronger than I), tommolen pa vekta, er dette alt, usynlig-sigrid (the LOML and my other fave artist- seeing her live was the best day of my life no cap): dynamite, plot twist, fake friends, strangers,  don’t feel like crying, raw, focus, I don’t want to know, her cover of sex by the 1975 changed my life fr, mine right now, BASIC !!!!!, in vain, never mine [this is highkey bc I’m a bonafide sigrid stan but I cannot recommend her ENOUGH she has one of the most incredible voices ever, is an insanely talented songwriter, and her music is so hype and beautiful and yeah :’)]-khalid (I love his voice sm, also the ceo of vibes): bad luck, cold blooded, 8teen, my bad, better, hundred, Saturday nights, suncity-run by elsa and emilie-lorde (my bby): bravado, buzzcut season, the love club, the louvre, supercut, 400 lux, ribs, white teeth teens, a world alone-fy faen by hkeem & temur (have been listening to this song for 3 yrs straight no cap)-btstu by jai paul-8896 by lapsley-joji: slow dancing in the dark, will he-moon by kid francesoli-aloha by mome (another all time fave)-karpe diem: hvite menn som pusher 50, lett a vaere rebell i kjellerleiligheten din, gunerius, spis din syvende sans-astrid s: 2AM matoma remix (one of my fave songs ever tbh), hurts so good !!!, such a boy-myth by beachhouse -mgmt: kids, electric feel-nostalgi 3millioner by tomine harket & unge Ferrari -lykke li: sex money feelings die (did I listen to this song for 5 months straight last year? hm), I follow rivers-one direction (ofc): story of my life, 18, night changes, drag me down, literally all of Take Me Home which is unequivocally their best album I will take no criticism on that-berlin by ry x-dancing with a stranger by sam smith and normani-taylor swift (not rlly a fan but wowww some of her songs): call it what you want !!!!, false god, begin again, all you had to do was stay, clean-kamikaze by Susanne sundfor-tame impala: let it happen (the og and the soulwax remix), the less I know the better, gossip-head over heels by tears for fears-somebody else by the 1975 (apparently I was the only one who only discovered this song in 2019 but it’s like all I listened to from October-December)

3. rap & rnb-brockhampton: rental !!!, face, bleach, sweet-childish gambino: ii. zealots of stockholm, heartbeat, les, the “hardbone with a hard r” remix of bonfire and redbone drooooool-drake (yikes dude but ngl. chill bops): feel no ways, u with me?, hold on we’re going home, passionfruit, you and the 6-vince staples: bagbak, lift me up, norf norf-frank ocean (LOML frank I’d die for you. also my fave artist *proceeds to list his entire discography*): SEIGFRIED!!!!, songs 4 women, nights, chanel, ivy, thinkin bout you, sweet life, pyramids, lost, bad religion, pink matter, forrest gump, in my room, swim good, dust, american wedding, provider-jorja smith: blue lights, february 3rd, on your own-ransom by lil tecca-nas (fave to end all faves): take it in blood, represent, the message, halftime, affirmative action, street dreams, one love, hate me now, cherry wine, new world-mobb deep: hell on earth, survival of the fittest, party over, shook ones pt ii-travis scott: (astroworld is the only thing I listened to summer-fall 2018 no cap) astrothunder, coffee bean, Yosemite, butterfly effect, houstonfornication, skeletons, stop trying to be god, stargazing, highest in the room-kanye (don’t roast me for this): can’t tell me nothing, ultralight beam, fade, hold my liquor-drip too hard by lil baby-(all a product of tiktok) bop, toes, suge, panini remix by da baby-migos (lmao): notice me, slippery, pure water-walk man by tmg sfdjhfkdjfsdfs-go loko by YG-the weeknd: reminder, as you are, hurt you, privilege, tell your friends, starboy, sidewalks, high for this

(I also love old school rock music but haven’t listened to it much since highschool- my fave bands are led zeppelin, CCR, boston, fleetwood mac, pink floyd, blue oyster cult, styx, the who)

[vanaera]

dammit, i knew HHA y/n is an intj (not really hehe). it was the same point you mentioned (her not having many friends) that got me doubting if she's an entj. then i thought, but entj isn't really people orientated, and in this theory, extroversion & introversion doesn't really describe how social someone is but rather but rather the way they learn/judge, is it based on external criteria or an internal one. but, where you get your energy from and how social you are sure still count for something1

that's why my head got messed up while thinking about it Lol. and I can definitely see y/n as an intj. i'm so glad i this close :D and i guess i kinda forgot the fact that story characters in general aren't built completely based on mbti, they also have a piece of their writer on them exactly like u said 3> omg i didn't expect to guess yoongs right! u don't know how happy i'm*-*. wow you're an infj! i haven't once in my life "not clicked" with an infj that it's a law of nature 4 me by now to 2

Love them! my sister, the same one i mentioned b4 happened to be infj as well :). Honestly, I love you anyway, infj or not. you also doesn't need to say srry for a long reply. i'm happy reading every word. also, *ahem* my asks are pretty long too lol. let's just embrace it hehe. I how you came up with HHA y/n and yoongs. i also like polar opposite dynamics! reminds me of love at first snow=) but the two introverts r pretty damn interesting as well. especially since it's u who's writing. ;) 3

Allow me to conclude by talking about my time! and oh I have MANY questions. but it's only natural since we're at the beginning hehe. Sci-fi is one of my fav genres so i'm extra exited. I liked the idea so much! and the technology in the story damn from where can i get one of those? it would be dangerous to mess with time tho. I'm looking forward to know what kind of people y/n is and... i think I'm a fan of my time!yoongs. I'll go read it a second time to completely wrap my head around it. 4?

I'm glad you're fine! You can do anything & you absolutely deserve the love and support. Btw *virtual hug excepted* and *giving you a one of my own as well* have a good day/ night lovely =)

ASEEL!!! OMYGOD THIS GOT ME SMILING EAR TO EAR! 🙈😊 First off, how are you??? I hope you're safe and doing fine!

It really is confusing to type in The Heart Holiday!OC. I as well had a hard time to put her in a comprehensible category when she herself carries so much values, strengths, and weaknesses of mine. I only got to type her in tMBTI bc of you and hon, I'm so shook how you managed to get THH!OC and Yoongi so well! Ugh you're so knowledgeable in applying the things you learned in psychology. I just love watching educational videos and learning psych through philosophies in novels and films. So teach me more, senpai 🥺. Also, what's your mbti if you don't mind me asking? You and your sister sounds so amazing! It's so cool you have this law of nature to click with INFJs when they themselves can be hard to understand when their dominant functions can be so contradictory hshdjjdjd (this I only learned through 16personalities.com which I 70% believed bc it applied to me. The other 30%, I only get to believe if I learned more. So if I'm wrong, just please correct me 😊).

Secondly, omygod, thank you for putting your trust in me 🥺. I never imagined I'll finally have a reader aside from my family and close friends who trusts me so much when it comes to writing. To have you say my idea is interesting esp bc I'm the one who's gonna write it just made my chest aflame! And the way you remembered Love at First Snow? Hon, this means so much to me bc this fic practically started my new journey into loving writing again this year!

Lastly, I'm glad you have MANY questions about My Time! This is oractically my goal (and it should be lmao) bc after all, it's a mystery story! I'm glad I, in some way, gave justice to your favorite genre! Writing sci-fi is scary bc I never loved it until now so this is me practically tsking baby steps to the thing I'm loving! I'm so happy you liked the story world bc building story worlds is one of the happiest things I got to do when I'm writing! I just love creating worlds to escape to! So even if I still somehow get freaked out by the word counts I end up with, this insecurity gets flattened by being proud I managed to build a world of my own for me and my readers as well (and I'm also proud bc this is me training to finally write a book of my own 😆). Thsnk you do much for enjoying My Time and even going for a 2nd time reading it!

Aseel 😭😭😭 Thank you so much for always making me smile and happy about myself. You don't know how many times I doubted myself and you just came in to help me believe in myself. I love you and I wish I could do the same things you did for me, for you. Because, you also deserve all the love and support! 🥺