#inconsistent i capitalization

[we-are-dogclan]

Moon 68: Week 3

That Sinking Feeling

I bet on losing dogs.

[foxwmulder]

just found the fake MSR texts I made a million years ago. it's the green messages for me

[canmom]

oh no she's talking about AI some more

to comment more on the latest round of AI big news (guess I do have more to say after all):

chatgpt ghiblification

trying to figure out how far it's actually an advance over the state of the art of finetunes and LoRAs and stuff in image generation? I don't keep up with image generation stuff really, just look at it occasionally and go damn that's all happening then, but there are a lot of finetunes focusing on "Ghibli's style" which get it more or less well. previously on here I commented on an AI video model generation that patterned itself on Ghibli films, and video is a lot harder than static images.

of course 'studio Ghibli style' isn't exactly one thing: there are stylistic commonalities to many of their works and recurring designs, for sure, but there are also details that depend on the specific character designer and film in question in large and small ways (nobody is shooting for My Neighbours the Yamadas with this, but also e.g. Castle in the Sky does not look like Pom Poko does not look like How Do You Live in a number of ways, even if it all recognisably belongs to the same lineage).

the interesting thing about the ghibli ChatGPT generations for me is how well they're able to handle simplification of forms in image-to-image generation, often quite drastically changing the proportions of the people depicted but recognisably maintaining correspondence of details. that sort of stylisation is quite difficult to do well even for humans, and it must reflect quite a high level of abstraction inside the model's latent space. there is also relatively little of the 'oversharpening'/'ringing artefact' look that has been a hallmark of many popular generators - it can do flat colour well.

the big touted feature is its ability to place text in images very accurately. this is undeniably impressive, although OpenAI themeselves admit it breaks down beyond a certain point, creating strange images which start out with plausible, clean text and then it gradually turns into AI nonsense. it's really weird! I thought text would go from 'unsolved' to 'completely solved' or 'randomly works or doesn't work' - instead, here it feels sort of like the model has a certain limited 'pipeline' for handling text in images, but when the amount of text overloads that bandwidth, the rest of the image has to make do with vague text-like shapes! maybe the techniques from that anthropic thought-probing paper might shed some light on how information flows through the model.

similarly the model also has a limit of scene complexity. it can only handle a certain number of objects (10-20, they say) before it starts getting confused and losing track of details.

as before when they first wired up Dall-E to ChatGPT, it also simply makes prompting a lot simpler. you don't have to fuck around with LoRAs and obtuse strings of words, you just talk to the most popular LLM and ask it to perform a modification in natural language: the whole process is once again black-boxed but you can tell it in natural language to make changes. it's a poor level of control compared to what artists are used to, but it's still huge for ordinary people, and of course there's nothing stopping you popping the output into an editor to do your own editing.

not sure the architecture they're using in this version, if ChatGPT is able to reason about image data in the same space as language data or if it's still calling a separate image model... need to look that up.

openAI's own claim is:

We trained our models on the joint distribution of online images and text, learning not just how images relate to language, but how they relate to each other. Combined with aggressive post-training, the resulting model has surprising visual fluency, capable of generating images that are useful, consistent, and context-aware.

that's kind of vague. not sure what architecture that implies. people are talking about 'multimodal generation' so maybe it is doing it all in one model? though I'm not exactly sure how the inputs and outputs would be wired in that case.

anyway, as far as complex scene understanding: per the link they've cracked the 'horse riding an astronaut' gotcha, they can do 'full glass of wine' at least some of the time but not so much in combination with other stuff, and they can't do accurate clock faces still.

normal sentences that we write in 2025.

it sounds like we've moved well beyond using tools like CLIP to classify images, and I suspect that glaze/nightshade are already obsolete, if they ever worked to begin with. (would need to test to find out).

all that said, I believe ChatGPT's image generator had been behind the times for quite a long time, so it probably feels like a bigger jump for regular ChatGPT users than the people most hooked into the AI image generator scene.

of course, in all the hubbub, we've also already seen the white house jump on the trend in a suitably appalling way, continuing the current era of smirking fascist political spectacle by making a ghiblified image of a crying woman being deported over drugs charges. (not gonna link that shit, you can find it if you really want to.) it's par for the course; the cruel provocation is exactly the point, which makes it hard to find the right tone to respond. I think that sort of use, though inevitable, is far more of a direct insult to the artists at Ghibli than merely creating a machine that imitates their work. (though they may feel differently! as yet no response from Studio Ghibli's official media. I'd hate to be the person who has to explain what's going on to Miyazaki.)

google make number go up

besides all that, apparently google deepmind's latest gemini model is really powerful at reasoning, and also notably cheaper to run, surpassing DeepSeek R1 on the performance/cost ratio front. when DeepSeek did this, it crashed the stock market. when Google did... crickets, only the real AI nerds who stare at benchmarks a lot seem to have noticed. I remember when Google releases (AlphaGo etc.) were huge news, but somehow the vibes aren't there anymore! it's weird.

I actually saw an ad for google phones with Gemini in the cinema when i went to see Gundam last week. they showed a variety of people asking it various questions with a voice model, notably including a question on astrology lmao. Naturally, in the video, the phone model responded with some claims about people with whatever sign it was. Which is a pretty apt demonstration of the chameleon-like nature of LLMs: if you ask it a question about astrology phrased in a way that implies that you believe in astrology, it will tell you what seems to be a natural response, namely what an astrologer would say. If you ask if there is any scientific basis for belief in astrology, it would probably tell you that there isn't.

In fact, let's try it on DeepSeek R1... I ask an astrological question, got an astrological answer with a really softballed disclaimer:

Individual personalities vary based on numerous factors beyond sun signs, such as upbringing and personal experiences. Astrology serves as a tool for self-reflection, not a deterministic framework.

Ask if there's any scientific basis for astrology, and indeed it gives you a good list of reasons why astrology is bullshit, bringing up the usual suspects (Barnum statements etc.). And of course, if I then explain the experiment and prompt it to talk about whether LLMs should correct users with scientific information when they ask about pseudoscientific questions, it generates a reasonable-sounding discussion about how you could use reinforcement learning to encourage models to focus on scientific answers instead, and how that could be gently presented to the user.

I wondered if I'd asked it instead to talk about different epistemic regimes and come up with reasons why LLMs should take astrology into account in their guidance. However, this attempt didn't work so well - it started spontaneously bringing up the science side. It was able to observe how the framing of my question with words like 'benefit', 'useful' and 'LLM' made that response more likely. So LLMs infer a lot of context from framing and shape their simulacra accordingly. Don't think that's quite the message that Google had in mind in their ad though.

I asked Gemini 2.0 Flash Thinking (the small free Gemini variant with a reasoning mode) the same questions and its answers fell along similar lines, although rather more dry.

So yeah, returning to the ad - I feel like, even as the models get startlingly more powerful month by month, the companies still struggle to know how to get across to people what the big deal is, or why you might want to prefer one model over another, or how the new LLM-powered chatbots are different from oldschool assistants like Siri (which could probably answer most of the questions in the Google ad, but not hold a longform conversation about it).

some general comments

The hype around ChatGPT's new update is mostly in its use as a toy - the funny stylistic clash it can create between the soft cartoony "Ghibli style" and serious historical photos. Is that really something a lot of people would spend an expensive subscription to access? Probably not. On the other hand, their programming abilities are increasingly catching on.

But I also feel like a lot of people are still stuck on old models of 'what AI is and how it works' - stochastic parrots, collage machines etc. - that are increasingly falling short of the more complex behaviours the models can perform, now prediction combines with reinforcement learning and self-play and other methods like that. Models are still very 'spiky' - superhumanly good at some things and laughably terrible at others - but every so often the researchers fill in some gaps between the spikes. And then we poke around and find some new ones, until they fill those too.

I always tried to resist 'AI will never be able to...' type statements, because that's just setting yourself up to look ridiculous. But I will readily admit, this is all happening way faster than I thought it would. I still do think this generation of AI will reach some limit, but genuinely I don't know when, or how good it will be at saturation. A lot of predicted 'walls' are falling.

My anticipation is that there's still a long way to go before this tops out. And I base that less on the general sense that scale will solve everything magically, and more on the intense feedback loop of human activity that has accumulated around this whole thing. As soon as someone proves that something is possible, that it works, we can't resist poking at it. Since we have a century or more of science fiction priming us on dreams/nightmares of AI, as soon as something comes along that feels like it might deliver on the promise, we have to find out. It's irresistable.

AI researchers are frequently said to place weirdly high probabilities on 'P(doom)', that AI research will wipe out the human species. You see letters calling for an AI pause, or papers saying 'agentic models should not be developed'. But I don't know how many have actually quit the field based on this belief that their research is dangerous. No, they just get a nice job doing 'safety' research. It's really fucking hard to figure out where this is actually going, when behind the eyes of everyone who predicts it, you can see a decade of LessWrong discussions framing their thoughts and you can see that their major concern is control over the light cone or something.

[timblrdrake]

Why haven’t you capitalized your own name?? 💔

– Your 1# fanboy

i capitalize the names of people i respect

[thatssummer]

Tagged by @hoforwonho and @sillyabtmusic <22

How well do you guys know me even though I never really talk about myself?

Tagging @donghyuckkies, @mizugucci, @hwanwooyoung, @nfly5 @taeraenini, @fairyjiu, @kingleedo, @sangytual (sorry if you've already made this)

[nomsfaultau]

I recently got a comment about the use of the term Bird Pope within my charity one-shot Worth far more than your weight in gold, specifically about the world building implied there considering [Kristin] and [Philza] are notably very inhuman bird monsters (Ravengences). Specifically, the question was if there was Bird Catholicism and Bird Jesus died on the Bird Cross of Lorraine. (I think it would have to be a more complex shape given the extra wing limbs! Or perhaps an Orthodox Cross to pin the tail too?)

Anyway, let's examine the text between [Kristin] and [Philza] and the translator's note:

[Kristin's] expression changed utterly to one of delight, kneeling to affectionately bump her forehead against [Philza's]. “Praise be to the gods, I thought I was going to have to [bird divorce] you,” [Kristin] said with a relieved sigh, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.  (*While Bird Divorce is not forbidden, it is strongly discouraged by the Bird Pope.)

To explore Weight in Gold's species’ religious stance, I examined what terms they use:

Techno uses Gods (capital, plural). Ravengences refer to the seven winds (non capital, plural), gods (non capital, plural), and the Bird Pope (Capital, singular (*according to the translator)). Given Catholicism really emphasizes the singular God bit, I deduce Catholicism did not come from Piglins and Ravengences. Thus I am sadly assuming Worth in gold!Jesus was neither bird nor pig (which is good since pork is not kosher!).

As for humans, they are not worshiping Prime (as in, a god named Prime). Church Prime is the first church in the area. Akin to the format of First [Denomination] Church of [Town]. They worship the Catholic God, and centuries ago were very heavy into evangelizing. Has to be a very long time ago since Ravengences are mostly considered legends in the current time period, and aren’t particularly assumed to be sapient beings. So for the Ravengences it’s more of a legacy of cultural exchange than anything that’s happened of late.

Techno makes a lot of snide comments about the human church, and mentions not doing his sacrifices. But he does bite his tongue because the Church holds a LOT of power in human settlements. From this I gather Piglins on the whole are not Catholic, though as minorities have to navigate the sociopolitical power of the religion they don’t practice. Specifically, I note the way Techno uses the term Gods (capital, plural) which feels to me like a linguistic quirk picked up after the emphasis Catholics put on a capital G God, but in strict defiance of Catholicism by making it plural to reflect Piglins’ own pantheon before the humans started evangelizing. Along the line of 'Nyeh! Our Gods are just as important as yours!' Since we don’t see anyone trying to convert Techno, I reckon it’s something lots of wars were fought about way back when, humans eventually giving up (and probably writing Piglins off as demons in the process). Piglins rejected churches, partially rooted in the fact a central part is in money and donating it, and 1. Piglins do NOT give their gold away except in very intricate and personal situations and 2. Piglins think money is stupid. Using gold for fancy banners and clothing and murals (which Catholicism is very fond of) also didn’t fly with the Piglins. So a major part of human worship involves the (perceived!) frivolous use of gold, which is a big rift between human and Piglin culture.

Ravengences however do have a culture around donating gold, so it wasn’t as much as a massive conflict with human doctrine. In fact it helped facilitate the transfers in a way they liked. I imagine early evangelism with them was a desperate attempt to stop temple raids and was shockingly successful all things considered. To Ravengences, Catholic God is yet another god, added into the pantheon for flavor. I imagine they refer to God as god, since as tricky as crossing that language barrier is that particulars of capitalizing god names probably didn’t make it across. (Ravengences are seen only capitalizing names and the term Ravengence). Ravengences didn’t really agree with the whole abandoning their original gods things (what? You want me to STOP worshiping the seven winds? AND NEVER BE ABLE TO SAFELY FLY AGAIN? Are you MAD?!) and tended to eat conversionists who insisted on that point a little too firmly. The humans likely decided to shrug and declare that the Ravengence gods were really just saints if you think about it, so it’s probably okay please stop eating us now. And as the cultures lost contact, likely a lot of changes piled up in the centuries to follow. Ravengences probably lost the Catholic God (because of said lack of capital differentiation, and the lack of a name is tricky to keep track of when you have a lot of gods). But, positions like Bird Pope, which have lots of practical use regarding the distribution of donation gold so that families can have children, are likely vital to Ravengence society, and so remained, albeit looking very different to human popes. And the Bird Pope hates divorces, because Ravengences tend to want to take all of the gold for their new family, and the ex spouses probably tend to kill each other over it. Since, again, Ravengences are fond of the death penalty.

Alternatively: notably [bird divorce] [bird husband/wife] are within the translator's personal choices to explain concepts to a human audience, the mention of Bird Pope being within a translator's addendum. Even to the extent that within [Kristin’s] dialogue [bird divorce] is lower case, but the translator uses uppercase, further cementing the linguistic differences between Humans and Ravengences. So Bird Pope (capitalized) is how a human explains Ravengence culture to other humans, and may not reflect the capitalization Ravengences use (as they tend towards none) or even really the actual Ravengence cultural role being described. So all of what I just world builded could also be scratched out and explained with 'human translator trying to simplify for a human audience'. but one of those answers is a lot more fun!

[glittergroovy]

I think about it all the time - Charli xcx

[gillipopmoji-archived]

if you follow my non-emoji blog you might've predicted this but wee hyperfixation go brr have some trafficmojis

[joleneghoul]

the way rip writes tells me he's dyslexic as fuck

[bitchyblkqueer]

As someone who follows Jeremy Adams' press, it's clear that he was bothered and upset by the number of people saying Hal was being a creepy weirdo to Carol in the first few issues of GL 2023. even the older white male fans were like, "this is uncomfortable".

it's one of Many Many things that's made me doubt the competency of DC editorial (understatement of the century i know). Someone should have clocked this in the scripting phase. and I'm disappointed with the overall storyline in the comic. it looks like they're leaving behind the "Hal adjusting to life on earth" idea AND the psychology of Hal creating kilowog with his ring. DC has also famously fired more than half of their editors in the last 5-6 years.

but back to Adams - it must be difficult for him to receive that feedback, especially since he's said he behaved similarly with women he's dated. no one likes being misunderstood, and they definitely don't want to hear that they've acted like a creepy weirdo.

which explains the OOC Barry dialogue in GL 2023 #4. it's a sorry sight.

as readers, we're supposed to think, "If Barry Allen is saying it, of course it's okay!!"

fwiw i am all for a "you're single until you're married" mentality, but Barry definitely would not be lmao. and i cant even get into how gross this is towards Carol. what about what she wants?? barry is a lot of things, but he's consistently not misogynistic.

sidenote - you are not writing hal & barry well if they're not coming off as more than a little in love with each other. hal needs to randomly say the most romantic thing you've ever read or else it's not a successful team-up. and adams co-wrote that lego flash movie where barry keeps a photo of him and hal on his nightstand. so now we all know to thank the other guy i guess

i would have been all for adams bringing back a more silver age hal, which i thought was the intention. but leave the sexism where it's at. bring back more silly scifi plots or hal getting knocked out or ITTY!

and if for some reason you intended for hal to act like a misogynist, it could have been interesting to watch him deal with the changing social customs since he's been off-world for so many years. but i doubt anyone working on the comic would be able to give that storyline the depth it deserves. anyway

[suskiss]

none of you care but no, Batman shouldn't kill. HOWEVER, if him going about the no killing actively causes more harm to the people around him and beyond than whats the point.

like I think the moment we lost the plot was when bruce gave THE JOKER CPR after Dick beat him to death. like girl whyyy would you do that???

and I know it was dc oversight, they refuse to let anyone kill that stupid clown even tho batman stagnates more and more every time they do an arc with him. but like goddd.

someone needs to shoot that thing for both watsonian and doylist purposes.

[coldresolve]

i keep gettin questions about some basic demographics for the main players of mm, so im gonna add a link to this post on the masterlist for the curious. if theres sth i forgot to add feel free to ask

the ± is where davin is vague and ambiguous. its a character trait

updated to include howard

[mental-mouthful]

hickgib fuckin on the wardroom table…. #yes #yumdotcom

drabble below the cut, suggestive but not nsfw.

(p.s. i probably won't finish this so if anyone wants to steal it, feel free. tag me/send it to me if you do. i don't need credit i just want to see it lol)

“you're not supposed to be here, Cornelius!”

“neither are you billy boy,” he replied coolly. he wore that faux accusatory scowl he liked to taunt people with. billy hated that look. or rather hated how he loved it.

“all the more reason to leave,” billy ducked his head and made for the door. Cornelius blocked him. just stepped to the side so billy bumped against him. really he was such a small man, easily avoidable and probably just as easily pushed over, so why billy always relented when he crowded him was a mystery Billy Gibson really did not want to examine. he sighed, “Cornelius, im serious. we'll get in so much trouble, you especially.”

“me? what for? im just here on official caulker's business. checking out that draft you'd noticed, yeah?” leave it to hickey to come up with a fast and shoddy explanation off the cuff. “‘sides, i don't think you want to leave, Billy-boy.” he was backing Gibson into the table. “I think you want to stay right here.”

when Billy's thighs hit the edge of the table he instinctively sat on it. it groaned under his weight. he tried to muster all the venomous warning of snake ready to strike in his return scowl to hickey. but he got the impression it failed on account of hickey smiling.

hickey was pressed quite nicely against him. he nestled warmly between his spread legs and his hands came to rest on the table, boxing Billy in. “tell me, mr. Gibson, why ever did you come in here?” his eyes flicked to the ornate silverware to the side. the one Gibson had been fondling.

-He'd find himself preternaturally drawn to the wardroom on occasion. he was only really allowed in there when specifically recruited by jopson to help set the table or wait on a larger staff if Erebites came for dinner. but there was something so alluring about the room. he always told himself he cared not for material possessions. that weighed they you down and had no emotional attachment beyond their function- and if one should find themselves attached to objects, they were a buggering idiot in Billy's humble opinion. but it was a lie, wasn't it? having a meager upbringing will make you resent opulence but it will also make you wild with envy to covet it. so Billy found himself drawn to the room every so often, transfixed by its glittering cut crystals and endless tomes and, in today's case, its ornate dishes.-

Hickey plucked the dainty yet heavy steak knife aloft. he examined it with a genuine appreciation he masked with playful indifference. billy could tell the difference. it was in his eyes. “I'll say…” he whispered with probably more reverence with than intended, “these are quite nice, ain't they billy? can't blame you for stealing a peek. tell me, darling, how would you like it if I got you a set? hn? would you use it every day? would take great care polishing them after every meal? lay them on a silk pillow to rest?” he was trailing the tip of it up the length of Billy's torso. gently, barely scraping the fabric of his vest. he traced the line where it was fixed, driving it further as he came across each button. as though he were threatening to cut each one free and leave billy an exposed mess. billy thought he may genuinely do it. it excited him. "would you feed me fresh and bloody meats with them?"

billy stifled a pretty and breathy moan, tipping his head back just an inch and canted his hips forward into hickey's. hickey hummed in approval.

he breathed into his neck all hot and wanting. the tip of the knife sat waiting on Billy's stomach. billy wanted to believe Cornelius wouldn't drive it into his flesh but there was cast enough doubt of his character that Billy could not dismiss the idea entirely. he shifted forward again, just to feel the edge of it bite of it through his clothes. “tell me Billy,” Cornelius growled into his ear, “do you want me to take you here on this table?”

“yes!” billy couldn't stop his gasp.

[riacte]

Hermitgals Pretty Cure AU transformation phrases + items

Tentatively drafted these up today! I am having so much fun with this AU :D

˖⁺‧₊˚​​  ✿ ♦︎ 𖦹 ☾ ☘︎ ˚₊‧⁺˖

Stress: "The joy of creation and the love for our everyday life! Cure Allium!"

Transformation item: Perfume bottle. Self explanatory (she loves flowers). Heartcatch style, she sprays it over herself and she transforms.

Weapon item: Her gloves with like knuckle protectors? Her bare fists? She sprays her perfume over her gloves and they become big and shiny and she basically punches her way through her troubles <3

˖⁺‧₊˚​​  ✿ ♦︎ 𖦹 ☾ ☘︎ ˚₊‧⁺˖

False: "The flexibility of creation and the ever-changing flow of ideas! Cure Diamond!"

Transformation item: A mirror. It shatters and the pieces become like, intangible and she's able to pass through them like she's becoming her stronger reflection. And yes this is a reference to symmetry, or more accurately, asymmetry.

Weapon item: Bow and arrows. Her mirror shatters - the handle of it turns into her bow, the shattered pieces become the arrows. She's also able to shift her arrows into other forms, specifically water and ice.

˖⁺‧₊˚​​  ✿ ♦︎ 𖦹 ☾ ☘︎ ˚₊‧⁺˖

Cleo: "The connectivity of creation and the diverse threads of our lives! Cure Blaze!"

Transformation item: A watch. Joe made it <3 and it broke and froze at the time when Joe died </3 but it got fixed with Jhost's lime green magic filling in the cracks <3 It's like Yes 5's transformation.

Weapon item: Ribbons! They burst out from her watch, something about turning back time, something about the hands of her watch extending to form multiple ribbons.

˖⁺‧₊˚​​  ✿ ♦︎ 𖦹 ☾ ☘︎ ˚₊‧⁺˖

Pearl: "The chaos of creation and the clash between shadow and colour! Cure Moon!"

Transformation item: A camera. It takes different snapshots of her, and every time it takes a photo, that part of her transforms. Something about Pearl wanting to capture the joy of creation but was unable to do so in her villain era. Something about becoming her new self with flashes of light. The camera doesn't record her old life, it creates her new life.

Weapon item: A paintbrush and a palette! Colours get extracted from the iridescent lens. She's able to create illusions and attacks.

˖⁺‧₊˚​​  ✿ ♦︎ 𖦹 ☾ ☘︎ ˚₊‧⁺˖

Gem: "The bravery of creation and the delight of dreaming! Cure Birch!"

Transformation item: A charm bracelet. It represents the wishes of all the people from the Hermit Kingdom. Some charms on the bracelet are wooden (representing home and nature), some are gemstones (representing Gem herself), some are metal (representing strength and battle), etc etc.

Weapon item: A sword! One of the gemstone charms in her bracelet becomes the gem embedded in her big sword. She also has the cool effect of stretching out her hand and letting the sword materialise from her bracelet.

˖⁺‧₊˚​​  ✿ ♦︎ 𖦹 ☾ ☘︎ ˚₊‧⁺˖

If you're interested, you can read more on the #precure au tag on my blog :) there's a whole outline and lore and everything

[luluwquidprocrow]

sometimes a family is three orphans, their adopted daughter, one not-so-sad writer, and two triplets

frank, beatrice the second, the baudelaires, lemony, ernest, implied ernest/lemony

gen

3,598 words

In the grand tradition of all parents, the extended baudelaire family find themselves trying to pull a fast one. 

for @asouefanworkevent's woevember day 4, the hotel denouement! some rambling headcanon nonsense half-fic about post-canon family that i had great fun doing. my favorite thing in the whole world is post-canon babybea interacting with her absurd enormous family. i love them all so much.

okay. so bear with me here 

so i think most parents/guardians are at one point or another faced with Pulling The Ultimate Fast One on their children. this is related to Your Beloved Pet Died But We’re Telling You We Sent Them To Live On The Farm, but this version, in particular, is infinitely easier and harder. this one is The Switch. The Replacement. The Double. when the intrepid parent or guardian, under the cover of night, goes to the pet store to purchase The Exact Same Animal because the first animal had an untimely death. i will admit, this is the easiest with like, a goldfish, or something else small where you can usually get one that looks very similar. 

now, for babybea, it’s a pumpkin. 

so babybea (who is twelve at the time this story takes place), at the very end of september, carves a pumpkin, and she goes in with a VISION. she spends a couple hours on this pumpkin, carving an owl. It’s not, yknow, a realistic owl, but she adds a lot of tiny details, lots of lines for the feathers, and she carves a little mouse on the side too, and even gets the side of a tree in there, and the pumpkin carving kit the baudelaires purchased that year came with these little stick lights, to put in the owl eyes after carving, so it has orange eyes!! this is!!!! The neatest thing babybea has ever seen, and she is so thrilled with the results and very proud of this pumpkin. (for the record – violet carves a few pumpkins into a starry night with a moon, klaus carves monstera leaves, and. let’s be real. sunny bites a series of turnips into jack-o-lanterns.) (and then she stabs a couple white pumpkins into bigger jack-o-lanterns, for variety. all of them get different expressions!

sunny, arranging her carved vegetation on the baudelaire porch in order of emotion: perfect.) (no, i don’t know what order of emotion means. But sunny does.)

Then they all pile into violet’s car – pumpkin included!! – and drive almost an hour out of the city to the bildungsroman bed and breakfast. (frank and ernest decided, at this point in their lives, if they were going to commit to anything, it may as well be The Bit.) (it has a local reputation as a place with solid wifi, stellar bread, and great mattresses. The owners are considered minorly eccentric, mostly for the portrait they have in the lobby, of, just one of them. 

some impassioned yelp review: okay so the stay was great big recommend PLEASE try the bread but i cannot figure out the story behind the portrait in the lobby????? it's just one one of the owners?????? but I don't understand why bc they're twins and it's just ONE of them?????? and he's wearing this frog-patterned tie in the painting and when you see them like in person. neither of them wear the tie. what's the deal here 

the locals are sure it's not an ego thing, bc the owners don't seem to be self-centered or anything like that. In fact, if asked about the painting, both of them will say, “oh, that's a painting of my brother.” 

an additional yelp comment: I think. there's THREE of them  a third yelp comment: don't be silly, they're definitely twins.) 

frank and ernest have a very elaborate series of outdoor autumn decorations, with lots of pumpkins and mini gourds and hay bales over the front steps and corn stalks on all the porch posts, and babybea wants to not only show her uncles her hard work, but also put the pumpkin on their steps where everyone can see it!! 

(her uncles also include lemony, of course – I think he did live with the baudelaires for some time after reuniting babybea with them, but has recently moved into ernest's side of the private apartment at the back of the hotel. this was mildly distressing to babybea, who likes everyone she loves under the same roof, but she can't deny that lemony is very happy. and so is ernest. and now she can see all her uncles in the same place whenever she wants!! so the baudelaires tend to spend weekends at the bed and breakfast, because they also miss lemony. and they get to know frank and ernest better, which is very important to them, as people who are important to babybea, and to lemony, and, to the baudelaire's past.) (not to like, detract from the sentiment here, but i do need everyone to know that i imagine ernest spends like, 80% of his working hours just making out with lemony.) (okay maybe not 80%. ernest does legitimately get work done, it’s his hotel too. ………but like, a lot of time.) 

AND SO. the baudelaires arrive at the bed and breakfast, and frank and ernest and lemony are very proud of their niece's pumpkin. they take a lot of pictures. (re: my previous post-canon thoughts, frank has actually acquired a phone now, and does text. it is a flip phone.) babybea places it, very gently, on the third front step, and is so pleased. sunny steals two mini gourds while looking ernest dead in the eye. ernest approves. 

But october turns out to be unseasonably warm, and babybea’s pumpkin, while lovingly carved but now lacking the support an uncarved pumpkin has to keep itself A Pumpkin, does not take kindly to the weather, and babybea actually becomes very distressed at the smallest signs of rot beginning to form in her pumpkin, when it is only the second week of october. She doesn’t TELL anybody, because there’s not really much you can do about a pumpkin doing what a pumpkin does in warm weather, but she’s very upset. (almost uncharacteristically so. usually she’d say, oh, well that’s how it happens, and rather pleasantly move on, but lately, she’s been kind of. quieter than usual.) And frank, who spends a great deal of time at the front desk, closest to the pumpkins, becomes Concerned. 

now, in general, babybea’s family is like, pretty good at being realistic with her. She is of course an optimist, but still Aware of a great deal of the ways of the world, given her family, her upbringing, lemony’s books, her own adventures, everything. You can’t really shield this twelve year old from the ways of the world, even if that way of the world is, a rotting vegetable. All things have their time, and it cannot be stopped. Including seasons, and in-season foods. 

However. She put SO MUCH WORK into that pumpkin, and as the week goes by and the pumpkin starts to shrink in on itself, turning all of babybea’s work black from the inside out, those charming little glowstick eyes CAVING IN, and the baudelaire’s weekly weekend visit grows closer and closer, frank has been imagining her devastated reaction when she sees the pumpkin, and decides, He Must Pull The Fast One. he will re-carve the pumpkin, exactly as babybea carved it, replace the pumpkin, and no one will be the wiser. They get a little more time with the pumpkin, presumably at least until halloween, and his niece gets to see her beautiful handiwork as much as she likes. Maybe, you know, there is a little magic in the world after all, to make a pumpkin look so nice. 

(also, i think frank has. A shaky relationship with babybea, from his end. She loves him, as much as she loves everyone else in her family, and babybea herself would NEVER rank her uncles in order of how well she knows or admires them, but i, lulu vandelay, putting this together, have no qualms in saying she knows lemony the best, bc she has spent the most time with him, between trying to find him and both of them trying to find the baudelaires and all of them having lived together, and she’s rather deeply attached to him – ernest is very personable, and funny, so he’s easy to get along with – and she and frank both like tiny detail work, so they have things in common, but frank always seems very awkward around her. And he is. It’s bc he’s very nervous around her. Frank doesn’t think he’s good with kids. And he is usually acutely aware that in an ideal world, he isn’t the one she’d be spending her time with, that dewey would be so much better at all of this than he is. A better parent, a better brother, a better everything. Because dewey always was, to frank. but, dewey would probably want frank to do as much as he could for her, and would believe him absolutely capable of doing it, without a doubt. So he wants to be a proper uncle to her and THIS is his opportunity, he thinks. He so desperately wants to do something kind and considerate and important for her, like family is supposed to do for each other.) 

the thing about pumpkins, though, is that, for some reason, mid-october, THEY ALL DISAPPEAR. I’m serious, you ever try and find a good pumpkin even like a little over halfway through october? It can be hard. 

frank: i need your assistance. ernest: i’ve killed my quota for the month. frank: i – ernest, please.  ernest: alright, my apologies. What do you need?  frank: a pumpkin. lemony, from the kitchen: jarrahdale or red warty?  frank: no, i mean a carving pumpkin. 

The three of them take a good, long look at babybea’s pumpkin. Uncle Instincts Have Activated. They, very solemnly, bury the pumpkin in the back garden (lemony is the one who takes one for the team and removes the glowstick eyes from the depths of sad, sad pumpkin). And then embark on a mission. Please imagine the three of them packed into a mint green 1960 chevy corvette. Sunglasses optional. Who’s driving? That is up to you, my friend. Oh, google informs me it is cascade green. Imagine accordingly. (yes, no corvette has ever been made with more than two seats, but isn’t that just funnier? They really are packed in there. Lemony sits in the middle.) 

The hunt for the right pumpkin is long. Grueling! Kinda chilly! This is october!! Much comparison is made between potential pumpkins and the pictures they took of babybea’s pumpkin. Snacks are purchased. (lemony, who has recently been introduced to instagram, posts a picture of his pretzel. [ernest is out of focus in the corner, eating a chocolate ice cream cone.] [#pretzel.] 

sunbad: what is that lemonysnicket: I have purchased a pretzel sunbad: without me sunbad: you’re dead to me.) 

(it was actually not sunny who introduced lemony to instagram, although she was his first follower. It was klaus.) (klaus uses instagram mainly to never post anything ever, just to follow his favorite authors, so he wanted lemony to have an instagram, especially since he just moved out.) (klaus……..my heart………..) (oh, frank bought chex mix. he likes those gross rye bread pieces.) 

(don’t get me started on lemony with an instagram……….I think this is a hilarious but also heartwarming thought – this man who has avoided being photographed for years and years and years and YEARS (yes that much repetition was in fact necessary) is at a point in his life here he is not only comfortable of taking pictures of his life, but he is capable of doing it, he’s allowed!! It’s still probably mostly food and it’s so good!!!!!!!! and think of the amount of pictures he keeps just in his phone gallery, too!!! violet’s inventions and klaus’ library displays and sunny’s baking and babybea’s school projects and ernest’s record collection and frank’s breakfast spreads, and nature shots with lemony’s thumb in the corner, AAAAAAAAAAAA) (uh, anyway, these men are on a mission. back to the mission.) 

Eventually, they do find a comparable replacement pumpkin! Does it fit in the car? Lemony, by virtue of sitting in the middle, holds the pumpkin. 

They return to the bed and breakfast. Between the three of them, many different knives, and all of their photos, frank and ernest and lemony painstakingly recreate babybea’s pumpkin, down to the last, smallest detail. Including the little mouse and the side of the tree and the feathers and everything. (frank does do most of the work, because ernest and lemony very much see that this is important to him, but he doesn’t mind them helping, because, yknow. This is about family, and babybea is their family too.) (frank feels like he owes lemony a lot. for trying to set the record straight about their past. or as straight as one could try and set it, with what all of them did. for their niece. for making ernest happy.) (ernest deserves to be happy, with everything they put each other through. ernest thinks the same for frank, too.) 

(ugggggg if you told the three of them when they were so much younger that one day they’d stay up late recreating their niece’s perfect pumpkin masterpiece so she’s not upset about the passage of time………..) 

(who’s in charge of the bed and breakfast while all of this is happening?? 

ernest: mallory, you’re in charge. mallory, a twenty-two year old with a major in hotel management who runs the front desk when ernest and frank can’t: sounds like a plan. 

mallory has a deep respect for the denouements. meanwhile – 

mallory: so you’re lemony snicket. lemony: i am, yes. mallory: you don’t look like your photo. lemony: that’s my legal representative. he has a stamp.) 

meanwhile meanwhile – it is not necessarily about the pumpkin. 

For babybea’s part, she already firmly believes that there is some sort of magic in the world. Even at twelve. Especially at twelve!! Look, she knows it wasn’t magic that reunited her with her family, that it was her and lemony’s hard work, but she wound up with SO much more family than she expected, when she first contacted lemony. And like, that is what there’s magic in. this whole group of people who care about her and love her and want to spend time with her. Babybea thinks she has the best family in the whole entire world. (AND SHE’S RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!) 

But that is also babybea’s problem right now. She loves her family so much, and she loves having them, and it’s been a couple months but she is still not entirely comfortable with people she loves being so far away from her. Not now! Not when they’re all supposed to be in the same space, like they’re supposed to be!! And some kids at school have teased her, not so much about her puzzle-piece family but that she talks about her uncles so much. She’s just proud of her family and she loves them!! But middle schoolers are like, rude as fuck sometimes, okay. And they don’t even think they’re saying anything wrong, just offhand comments about how much she talks about them. They don’t even know anything about her parents, not really, but babybea starts to feel like, it’s the unspoken throughline in what they’re saying, why doesn’t she ever talk about them? Why only her uncles, her guardians? They’re her family, but – 

she feels almost guilty, that she goes through periods where she doesn’t even think of her parents at all, and periods where she can’t stop thinking about what they would look like and what they would be like, and that makes her feel like she doesn’t value the family she DOES have. So it’s not necessarily about the pumpkin starting to rot, what’s making her upset. It’s that, the pumpkin is another thing in a line of things babybea is Thinking about, things that aren’t Going the way she thought they were supposed to go. Her uncle moving out, missing somebody who was supposed to be there, her pumpkin not staying like it’s supposed to, she’s SUPPOSED to love her family but is she loving them right? Is she loving the right people right? Can you miss people you didn’t even know? And babybea has it very set in her head, the things she knows and is supposed to do – this is something she hasn’t quite worked on, but she’ll get to it eventually, she is still twelve – and they keep not happening like that. And now. Something else she worked really, really, really hard on, that isn’t going right either. 

So she spends the week a little gloomy about her pumpkin, and worrying the whole ride friday afternoon after school to the bildungsroman bed and breakfast. Violet and klaus and sunny are very aware of babybea’s mood, and try to cheer her up by asking her about what she’ll be for halloween, but babybea’s heart is not super into this conversation. (she has ideas about a big group costume where they’re all different local birds, but now she’s not even sure about that.) 

And then! She sees her pumpkin!! Glowy eyes and all!!!!! And, mysteriously, those little spots of rot she’d noticed the week before are gone, and, in fact, it looks a little sharper than it had before? And she didn’t think she’d cut the lid quite like that, but! That’s her pumpkin, exactly where it’s supposed to be!!! And it makes her feel just a little better. That’s good. That’s right. But she still can’t, entirely shake off all her previous feelings, about family. But. right now. Her pumpkin still looks very special. 

Later, babybea can’t sleep. So she sneaks out of bed and goes down to the lobby, and sits down on the floor in front of the front desk, and looks at the big painting on the wall, that ernest did of her father. 

This, of course, is where frank finds her. (because frank has never been very good at sleeping consistently, even when there’s nothing to worry about now, and he likes to walk through the hotel to make sure it’s secure.) 

(ernest would say something very clever, like, aha, with a raised eyebrow, but all frank says is – )

frank: hello, beatrice.  beatrice: oh!  beatrice: hello, uncle frank.  frank: may i sit down?  beatrice: yes, please. 

They spend a little while looking at the portrait.

beatrice: um –  beatrice: does it – 

What she wants to ask is, does it look very much like my father, which she then realizes is such a STUPID question if her father was a TRIPLET and she has a mirror image of him right in front of her, who acts like she thinks a father is supposed to act, so, but, it’s not like that doesn’t mean dewey didn’t look like dewey. Just because dewey looked like frank doesn’t mean he only looked like frank. And beatrice forgets, sometimes, that he would’ve just looked just like her uncles. But still! 

beatrice: i mean – the painting, is it – 

But she thinks it’s such a terrible thing to ask!! But frank knows EXACTLY what she means. 

(some time ago, when the hotel had just opened and ernest had just painted the portrait of dewey – 

ernest: i wanted it to look like him. And, it’s not like i, don’t know what he looks like. Looked like. I mean – that could just be me or you up there, couldn’t it. It doesn’t look like it’s him.  frank: no, it does.  frank, knowing exactly what he means and feeling like, he needs to make ernest Not look so abjectly miserable: you don’t look nearly as happy.  ernest, in tears, very amused and touched and still terribly upset: wow! 

The point being, god of course it looks like dewey. It couldn’t be anybody but dewey, even if dewey looks like other people. Dewey looks like himself, he looks like his family, he looks like beatrice, around the eyes. And family means lots of things. It means your guardians raising you, and your uncles raising you, and your father’s portrait on the wall and never knowing him at all, and loving so many people and being loved back by them, whether or not it’s Supposed to be a specific way, and sometimes it means missing somebody, sometimes it means missing different people, sometimes it means being sad for something you’re not sure if you should or could miss, sometimes it means not missing anyone at all, sometimes it means your uncle going to live with his definitely boyfriend even if they won’t say the words out loud who’s also your uncle just on the other side of your family and that doesn’t mean anyone’s going anywhere. Sometimes it means your pumpkin rotting, because things change. uh, does this make sense.) (admittedly, i put a lot of things in this.)

frank: yes, it looks very much like him.  frank: i think about him a lot.  beatrice: ......would he like my pumpkin? frank, without hesitation: absolutely. beatrice: do you like it? frank: i do.

of course babybea already knew that, but it's nice to hear. it's just. nice. it's not, like, everything? just like before. but beatrice is loved by a lot of people, and she loves them, too, and. she feels loved, right here, like she's supposed to, and that's what's Supposed to happen.

beatrice hugs him, and it's not the first time she's hugged frank, but it means more? frank hugs her back.

beatrice: thanks for fixing my pumpkin.  frank: i’m sure i don’t know what you mean, beatrice. 

beatrice hugs him again, and then goes back upstairs. frank looks a little longer at the portrait, and then goes to bed himself, and doesn't get back up until his alarm goes off.

[glittergroovy]

19 - Pencey Prep