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sokuroo · 1 month

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in the spirit of matrimony.

summary — iwaizumi hajime is getting married, and you and your ex, oikawa tooru, must pretend you’re still together to avoid ruining his big day. the charade, however, proves to be a lot more complicated than you thought.

pairing — oikawa tooru x fem!reader genres — romance, angst; exes to lovers, fake dating!au word count — 3.0k

warnings — profanity, alcohol consumption author’s note — please excuse the writing, it is wildly inconsistent, and most of it feels like i wrote through a fever dream 😭 a little bit of info on some terms used: an izakaya is a type of informal japanese bar; oshibori is a wet towel offered at dining places used to clean one’s hands before eating; otoshi is an appetizer offered at izakaya

Oikawa Tooru is currently using the shower in your hotel room, and you are running late for dinner with Iwaizumi Hajime because of this.

You sit on the plush armchair in the corner of the room, picking at the raised swirls and curlicues embroidered on the cushion. You’re supposed to be meeting with Iwaizumi for dinner in fifteen minutes, but Oikawa seems to be taking his own sweet time getting ready. You can’t say you’re surprised.

Irritated? Yes.

When he finally bursts out of the bathroom, looking like a Louis Vuitton model, you simply grab your purse and hotel card, and stride out the door without a second glance. Oikawa Tooru isn’t worth your time or energy—for now.

He catches up with you quickly—volleyball legs, and all that—and you can smell his perfume: Cremo spice and black vanilla. You hate the fact that you remember; you’d rather not, but he hasn’t changed the scent in five years and it’s always the little things that are the hardest to forget. In his black button down shirt and with his hair styled carefully with gel, Oikawa definitely looks attractive. He knows it, too, probably, and it gives you a twisted sort of satisfaction knowing that he can’t go about flirting with every person who catches his eye.

He simply cannot, because as far as Iwaizumi Hajime is concerned, you and Oikawa are still together.

“Don’t forget,” you mutter, just low enough that only he can hear you.

“Yeah, yeah.” He waves his hand dismissively before tucking it back into his pocket. “It’s just Hajime. Don’t worry.”

You bite back a sigh. It would do you no good to appear so visibly vexed—and it would cause Hajime to worry unnecessarily, which does a lot more harm to everyone involved. The only thing you want him to be worried about is wedding preparations and becoming a husband in three days.

Your old friend meets you at the hotel lobby, right before Oikawa furtively slips his hand into yours. Iwaizumi looks tired—his clothes look rumpled and he has dark circles under his eyes—but he still smiles at you and Oikawa in the same way: boyish and crooked. You grin back at him.

“Hey, you two.” Iwaizumi opens his arms and pulls you in for a hug. His stubble brushes against your cheek, and you frown.

“You’re growing a beard?” you ask incredulously, when you pull away.

He chuckles. “I wish. I need to look handsome on the day of the wedding. Akari thinks it makes me look rugged.” He shrugs and adds, “Personally, I can’t tell the difference.”

“How’s Mrs. Iwaizumi doing?” Oikawa cuts in. He smiles at his best friend, a quick flash of his teeth that you haven’t seen in ages. It almost makes you wish he still smiled at you like that. Almost.

“Akari’s great,” Hajime answers, the edges of his smile turning fond. His fiancé is truly the sweetest, and she’s perfect for Iwaizumi in ways no one else ever could be. It’s difficult to doubt their love, and you consider yourself lucky to have witnessed them falling for each other in college. “Really great, actually. She told me to tell you she’s sorry she couldn’t make it today, but she can’t wait to see you both tomorrow.”

Your ex-boyfriend sighs dramatically. “Iwa-chan. The only entertaining person of the evening is missing. Whatever shall I do?”

“I’m sure your girlfriend will provide ample entertainment, Oikawa,” Hajime deadpans.

Your cheeks flood with heat at the implication. You’re the furthest thing from being Oikawa Tooru’s entertainment tonight, and you don’t need to look at him to know he’s laughing internally at the predicament.

“She’s good at entertaining me with other things,” he retorts, waggling his eyebrows in that infuriating way of his. “Not funny enough, unfortunately.”

You bristle. “Uncalled for, Oikawa.”

He turns to you—the first time he’s looked at you properly since you arrived at the hotel in their hometown—and, taking your hand in his, rubs his thumb along the back of your palm. You nearly shiver; Oikawa used to do that all the time when you were still together, and the small gesture now makes a lump form in your throat.

“Just kidding, babe,” he says indulgently. “You know I make up for the lack of humour on your part.”

You have to give it to him. Oikawa Tooru is a magnificent actor.

The way he talks to you, as though both of you hadn’t walked out of the hotel room without saying a word to each other is a feat in itself. He speaks to you as though nothing has changed, as though everything about the way you’re projecting yourselves to your friend is completely natural. You close the hole in your chest where Oikawa used to reside; you will not fall for his little antics—not when he chose to leave you alone.

You roll your eyes, meeting Hajime’s fond—if exasperated—gaze. “Ignore him.”

“I’ve been doing it my entire life,” he responds.

“You are mean and I hate you both,” Oikawa whines. Both of you ignore him.

“Let’s go,” Hajime says. “The izakaya gets really crowded later in the night.”

You wipe your hands on the soft cotton of the oshibori, scanning the menu taped onto the wall. Next to you, Oikawa digs into the otoshi, and in front of you, Hajime sips on his glass of beer.

“Yakisoba noodles sounds good,” you murmur, “don’t you think?”

“I wan’ the chmmkn kraagh,” Oikawa says immediately through a mouthful of potato salad.

Iwaizumi sighs and translates, “He wants the chicken karaage.”

You scowl. You and Oikawa Tooru can never agree about things. You’re both too stubborn and hot-headed to budge from your opinions, and towards the end of your relationship, the number of petty arguments that were a result of your clashing personalities was high. At one point of time, you might have said that it was one of Oikawa’s qualities that you admired.

Right now, it just irks you to no end.

“We can order both,” you suggest. “Don’t talk with food in your mouth.”

Oikawa rolls his eyes. He makes a show of swallowing, exaggerating the bob of his throat, before he turns to you and states, “I want the chicken karaage, and I know Iwa-chan likes it more than yakisoba noodles.”

“Actually,” Hajime says mildly, “I kind of want the sashimi.”

“Let’s just order all three.” You bring your glass of beer to your lips and take a sip.

Iwaizumi looks curiously between you both. You take another sip of your beer, and you come to the realisation that for an outsider—like Hajime—you and Oikawa look absolutely nothing like a couple.

The fault is yours: You didn’t tell Hajime about your break up with Oikawa, and neither did he. Hajime still thinks you’re together. Neither you nor your ex-boyfriend are tactless enough to tell him that you aren’t dating anymore three days before he’s getting married. Iwaizumi is excited, and you aren’t about to dampen his happiness by telling him his two best friends haven’t spoken to each other in months.

That’s how, for the first time in ages, you and Oikawa Tooru decided that you couldn’t ruin Iwaizumi Hajime’s Big Day, and it was also how Operation: Pretend Like You’re Madly In Love So Your Surprisingly Intuitive Best Friend Doesn’t Feel Bad came about.

You set your beer down again, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.

“Can I try some of that?” you ask, nudging Oikawa’s shoulder with yours.

He pauses mid-chew, chopsticks held high in the air. “Sure.”

You nudge his shoulder again, a little bit more forcefully this time. Oikawa glares at you. You narrow your eyes at him, trying to send him some sort of telepathic signal. His eyes widen.

“Here, babe,” he says, plastering a grin on his face. He picks up a chunk of the creamy potato salad that was served as the otoshi and holds it up. He uses his thumb and pointer finger to gently bring your face closer to his chopsticks. You fist your fingers, nails cutting crescents into your palms, and accept the mouthful he holds out to you.

“Good?” Oikawa murmurs, his eyes not leaving your face.

You hum. It is good, rich and tart with a touch of sweetness, but for some reason, you can’t bring yourself to verbalise it. Your gaze flits downwards as you gently pull away from his grasp. Your jaw tingles where he held it.

Iwaizumi grins at you—almost knowingly—when you pick up your beer again. He holds a hand up, calling for the waiter to take your orders.

The alcohol washes down the taste of the food, but your heart is about to leap out of your throat.

It is always alcohol that loosens your tongue, and it’s the same for Oikawa Tooru as well. The beer you had at the izakaya lowers the towering walls between you both somewhat. It’s easier to speak to him, now, and after you switch on the lights in the hotel room and kick off your sandals, you whirl around and face Oikawa.

“What the hell was that?” you seethe, glaring at your ex-boyfriend.

He pauses in the middle of taking off his shoes. “What the hell was what?”

“You almost blew our cover! Didn’t you see the way Hajime looked at us?”

Oikawa cocks his head to the side, and his cluelessness only infuriates you even more.

“God, you haven’t changed one bit!” you rant. Your chest heaves with emotion—you’re not sure what emotion, exactly. Anger? Resentment? Foolish hope? Or perhaps a cocktail of all three that causes you to feel nothing but confusion. “Hajime is getting married in two days, and I know you couldn’t care less, but for his sake, can’t you make this whole—whole act more believable?”

“You— What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!” Oikawa’s eyebrows raise upwards incredulously. “You think I don’t care about Iwaizumi’s wedding? I met him before I even knew you existed.” He scoffs. “Of fucking course I care!”

“Then would it kill you to act like you still love me?” You take a step forward, eyes narrowed and index finger pointing at him. “Is that it? Is it so repulsive to pretend like you still have feelings for me, so that your best friend doesn’t worry about us?”

“That’s not it, and you know it,” Oikawa snarls, a frown marring his features. “We should’ve told him as soon as it happened.”

Hearing him refer to your relationship as it feels like a slap to the face. You falter, cursing yourself inwardly.

Of course he doesn’t care for you now. Why would he, after he decided that long-distance relationships were too much effort? I don’t see us working out in the long run, he’d explained over FaceTime. I’m sorry.

Two days later, you declared yourself officially single. You burrowed yourself in piles of work and forgot to tell Iwaizumi Hajime because talking to Hajime would remind you of Oikawa, and you weren’t ready for that yet. Eventually, you just… didn’t tell him.

That’s why it came as an unwelcome surprise to you when you walked into the hotel lobby and found Oikawa Tooru waiting there, with his arms crossed over his chest and his suitcase by his feet. You’re here, he’d said, and you wanted to punch yourself for the way your heart somersaulted in your chest.

You finally find your voice again. “But we didn’t, so would it kill you to just… not be so fucking obvious?”

Oikawa remains stoic, though you suspect he’s just as agitated as you are. “Yes. I don’t want to do this at all.”

Something in you breaks. How easy it is for Oikawa to break your heart. You’d given him the fragile thing, made of glass, and he had knocked it over like it was a house of cards more than once.

“Fine,” you grit out, bending down and picking up your footwear again. The alcohol buzzing in your head isn’t enough—you need to stop thinking, need to find some way to stop yourself from constantly imagining him. “See if I care.”

You shoulder past him and place your hand on the doorknob.

“Where are you going?”

If you really strained your ears, you could almost hear the imperceptible concern in Oikawa’s voice. You brush it off; he doesn’t have any feelings towards you, as he’s made so amply clear.

“Why do you care?” you retort, before pushing open the door and heading in the direction of the hotel restaurant’s bar.

The room is dark when you open the door.

It’s a little past one in the morning—or so one of the bellhops had said when he kindly escorted you back to your room. Your mind is swirling.

It seems even getting yourself batshit drunk isn’t enough to eradicate all thoughts of Oikawa.

The walls spin. You stumble inside. Your hip bumps against something solid—a table, probably—and you let out a startled yelp.

Oikawa’s voice is like a balm, soothing your feverish forehead, when he says your name.

How are you supposed to get over him? How are you supposed to go back to living alone when you’ve had this taste of what it could be like, regardless of how authentic it is?

The answer is clear as day: You cannot.

A pair of hands guides you by the shoulders to the bed. Oikawa is careful, gentle with his hold on you. You sprawl on the bed sheets, the fabric cool against your cheek. He appears like an outline in the darkness.

“Are you okay?”

“God,” you mumble, screwing your eyes shut. “You can’t keep doing this to me, Oikawa.”

He remains silent for a moment, before he clears his throat and says, “You asked me why I care about where you go.”

You don’t say anything.

“I just do,” he continues, “and I don’t know how to explain it. But I do care.”

His fingers are warm when he caresses your cheek. The last thing you do before succumbing to sleep is murmur his name—a curse, but somehow reverent.

When you wake up the next morning, the sheets next to you are rumpled. There is no sign of Oikawa anywhere in the room, but there is a tall glass of water placed on the bedside table.

Through the pounding of your head, you squint at the note written using the hotel stationery placed beside it.

Drink up. Hajime and Akari are bringing us breakfast.

Breakfast is a lively affair. You’re glad to see Akari again, happy to see the to-be-newlyweds so patently in love with each other.

Oikawa keeps his hand on your thigh, steady and comforting, and offers you golden smiles whenever you catch his eye, and you swallow down the awful lump in your throat.

The day passes by in a blur.

It’s on the day before Iwaizumi’s wedding that Oikawa Tooru kisses you.

Wedding photos are unnecessary, you think. After all, you’re not the one getting married. But Akari had been insistent that you and Oikawa take some pictures together, and you couldn’t refuse her beseeching gaze.

Oikawa, clad in his dapper suit, with his hair styled using copious amounts of hair gel, places his hands on your waist and draws you in. His fingers bunch up the material of your dress. The photographer asks you to place your hands on his chest. His heartbeat is a steady thrum underneath the pads of your fingertips.

“Is this okay?” he whispers, leaning in.

You nod.

His mouth tastes like spearmint and the chocolate muffins he’d shared with you at breakfast.

The afternoon passes by in a daze.

As you walk through the wedding venue, noting all the decorations and the flower arrangements, Oikawa slips his hand into yours.

“You don’t have to,” you say. “No one’s here to see us.”

“I want to,” he replies simply. He is serious now, not his usual boisterous self, the way he is around Hajime and Akari. “It’s a nice place, no?”

You press your lips together. His words are oddly reminiscent of what he said the night you were drunk. Your stomach twists into knots, but if you don’t ask him the one question that has been nagging at you since then, who will do it for you?

“Tooru,” you say.

He stiffens. It’s the first time you’ve used his first name since you broke up with him.

“Why didn’t you tell Hajime we broke up?” you ask.

His shoulders loosen and his mouth twists upwards in a crooked, sad sort of smile.

“Because I love you, and breaking up with you broke me in some way.”

Your voice is quiet when you ask, “Why did you?”

“I didn’t want to be the one holding you back,” he says, just as quietly. “I didn’t want you to be constantly worrying about someone who didn’t even live in the same country as you. You deserve someone who will be there for you. Someone you can come home to after work, and talk about your day, and cook dinner together with. I couldn’t give you that.”

You want to hit him and kiss him at the same time. What a stupid, idiotic fool you’re in love with.

“Silly,” you say. “I only want you.”

The wedding happens on a sunny afternoon, and it is beautiful. Akari is radiant, and Hajime tells her that he’s the luckiest man ever. They are in love, and looking at them doesn’t hurt anymore. Your ex-boyfriend turned current boyfriend presses his shoulder against yours and gives you a small, knowing smile when he catches you almost tearing up. You nudge him back, and his smile grows into a grin that envelops his face in gold.

(“You’re the golden one,” he’ll tell you later, pressing feather-light kisses to your collarbones and cheeks. You’ll say he’s wrong.)

Right before the crowd disperses, Oikawa takes your hand and brings it to his lips. He presses a soft kiss against the knuckle of your ring finger.

Later, he whispers to you that it’s all in the spirit of matrimony.

Oikawa Tooru is using the shower in your bedroom, and he’s running late to catch his flight back to Argentina, and everything is perfect.

author’s note (again): this fic is a birthday gift to my best friend, @hanluex! it's the most last-minute thing ever and i apologise but HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOKI!!!

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa tooru fluff #oikawa tooru x you #oikawa tooru x y/n #oikawa x reader #oikawa fluff #oikawa x you #oikawa x y/n #oikawa tooru #haikyuu

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mixelation · 8 months

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reborn au thoughts on..... oh no not power levels

"power levels" is a joke btw

but okay. the ANBU thing i've been poking at is right before the konoha chunin exams. so it's post-wave and post cave incident, so tori has been training with minato, probably on some sort of crazy inconsistent schedule because he has Other Things to do

so i think this is about where the narrative can pivot from "tori is scary because she will pull shit out you didn't know was possible (but her regular stats are average)" to like. her actually being scary in normal ways???

anyway, i was thinking about what training with minato even looks like. and i don't think he cares very about mentoring her in basically anything but hiraishin adjacent skills. so i think it's a lot of chakra theory and the occasional spar which she wanders out of like, "what the FUCK was that. i thought team 4 was bad????"

so actually. at this point, i think tori could reasonably take most rando ANBU agents. this is as surprising to her as it is to them. she's out here dodging all sorts of insane shit while she messes around with her stupid collapsible staff she can't figure out how to assemble (WHO DESIGNED THIS????). very tobi of her

but circling back around to hiraishin stuff. i decided there's two requirements for it: developing a marker that works with your chakra and the actual jutsu. tori figures out a marker in record time but the jutsu is actually stupid hard and at this point she can DO it but her aim is like. bad? it's really bad. she can't figure out how to tell markers apart. it's fine if she want to flee a fight immediately but then she has no control over where she ends up. she's not cleared to use it outside of training because if he uses it on a mission, there's like a 70% chance she'll end up in konoha with no way to go BACK

so she only has like 1-3 active markers at a time and minato insists on watching them himself because he KNOWS her he KNOWS she will be tempted to do dumb shit

i thought about ending the scene i just posted with her and itachi getting so into trying to hit each other with sticks that this happens

tori: (realizes she can't dodge) (teleports away) (ends up in the hokage's office)

tori: FUCK

minato: (sipping coffee) so what did i tell you about doing this

and then she ends up late to her actual practice u_u

#reborn au

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stranger-who-writes-fiction · 7 months

Note

Ooh, can I have "Alex Lois thing" for 200? It makes me think of Cool Aunt Kara AU, but I'm sure whatever you've come up with is fabulous

In a shocking turn of events, it was actually a canon thing! XD Long, loooooong ago, I noticed this parallel between Lois and Alex and I started brainstorming a crossover fic. But then I fell behind on Superman & Lois and thus the motivation to see it through kinda petered out. XD

Here's what I had:

“Are you going to tell him?”

They're standing in what remains of the main cavern of the Fortress. Alien weaponry and salvaged Kryptonian artifacts litter the floor, the shelves that once displayed them reduced to slushy masses of ice chips.

As Alex surveys the damage, she wants to laugh at the question. Are you going to tell him? Clark will know, the minute he returns to the Fortress, that something has happened.

But she sincerely doubts she'll get a questioning phone call.

“No,” Alex tells J'onn, her voice sounding much stronger than she currently feels. “No, we—we don't know anything—won't know anything until Brainy is finished with the diagnostics.”

J'onn's expression is skeptical, and she can tell he wants to press the issue further, so she moves to start putting the scattered items back...somewhere. Anywhere. Anything to keep her hands and mind occupied, away from the only concrete thought she's had in the last hour or so.

Kara is trapped in the Phantom Zone. She's gone. She's—

“He needs to know, Alex.”

J'onn's voice is low and gentle. She shoves aside a pile of snow with her bare hand, ignoring the way the chill is starting to settle into her arms and legs. A stark reminder that this place...really isn't meant for humans.

“Not yet,” Alex says. She briefly worries that J'onn will argue with her...and that she'll lose that argument, because she can't come up with a single, compelling reason as to why she shouldn't tell him.

She just...she can't. Because the only time they call Clark is when the world is ending—literally. Clark is a last resort. Clark is...he's...

Next of kin is the phrase that comes to mind.

And Alex refuses to even acknowledge that possibility.

J'onn must sense her thoughts—an impressive feat, given how hard she's trying to suppress them—and simply nods.

“Alright,” he agrees. “Not yet.”

It's a bright, beautiful, downright pastoral day in Smallville. Not that Lois would know, as she's spent the greater part of the last...seventeen? hours? Seated at the kitchen table, pouring over the collection of files Maxy was able to dig up and send her way.

She finishes skimming another accounts report, and checks it against another document on her laptop. Notes the inconsistencies, moves on to the next.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

“Mom. Mom.” Lois blinks, and looks up from her mountain of files. Jonathan stands at the far end of the table, holding a bowl of cereal. “You're using like. The whole table.”

“Oh,” she stands and starts to try and clear a space for him. “Sorry hon. Let me just—”

“Actually, I think I'll go...” he nods towards the family room, wearing an amused look. “Coffee table looks safer.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she waves off his gentle teasing. “Use a coaster!”

He disappears into the family room, and Lois smiles, ultimately grateful for the interruption; the mention of the coffee table has made her acutely aware that some caffeine would be...pretty good, right about now.

She moves to start a pot, checking her phone as she pulls the filters and grounds from the cupboard. The usual alerts appear on her notifications screens—The NY Times, Gotham Gazette, National City Tribune...

In fact...there have been a lot of alerts from the Tribune, of late, and yet hardly any coverage of Supergirl exploits.

She skims the top stories—a few mentions of other meta-human heroes. Nothing about Kara.

Gonna have to tell Clark his cousin is slacking, she thinks as she turns on the coffee maker. ...Maybe have him call—

“Mom, mom!”

It's Jonathan again, but his voice is high and distressed, coming from upstairs. Lois drops her phone on the counter, all thoughts of the Tribune and coffee forgotten as she hurries for the stairs. There's only one thing on her mind, only one thing that could make Jonathan call out like that.

Jordan.

Probably won't return to this but would love to (maybe? someday???) write more Lois. She's such a great character, and so often underserved in the actual comic books. DC greenlight a new Lois books you COWARDS. XD Thanks for sending this in!

#stranger replies #WIP tag game #stranger writes #SG fic #this has reminded me about my Lois rant re: the main supes book making her editor in chief @ the Daily Planet and then doing NOTHING WITH I

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theprenderelliepalace · 1 year

Text

Mauraders AU

Summary: Laine Crowley is the fifth member to the rambunctious 7th year Mauraders. Having to struggle with exams, a brewing war outside of Hogwarts and... boys, she intends to give herself a small respite by enlisting Sirius Black's help in getting her dumb friends together before it's too late, or so it would seem

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{Hi All! This is my first published Mauraders AU fanfiction on here. This was also written many years ago so please excuse any inconsistencies.

All constructive criticism is welcome.

I will be posting more often and requests are also welcome.

If you have any confusion please feel free to contact me directly and I'll clear it up, if anything in this fic is unclear.

Please reblog and share your thoughts! }

Word count: 4.3k

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

For context, Laine is an Animagi too, she is an English starling of your preference.

She can also be considered a Y/n / reader at your discretion.

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Laine Crowley's first two weeks back at Hogwarts as a seventh year, was nothing short of excruciating.

Her dorm mate and friend, Lily Evans , would spend long hours droning on about one of her particular Maurading comrades. On this particular occasion she was thinking with this chain of thought, Lily had started with a poorly constructed attack on James Potter, to which Crowley was blatantly tuning out.

While she pretended to acknowledge the firey red-head beside her, they sat in the bustling Grifindoor common room on a particularly cold September evening.

Crowley had successfully completed her Advanced Charms essay an hour ago and was positively itching to research something of her own volition before her ears fell off.

She scanned the sea of red and black robed Grifindoors, hatching something of an impossible escape plan when she spotted something to make her jolt out of her stupor at an alarming speed. There, beside her fellow Mauraders he stood. Disheveled and disarming, making him appear all the more handsome. She allowed her eyes to traverse his body, toned with something like evolutionary power, raven hair spilling over his shoulders in soft waves that framed his sharpened jawline.

She felt her mouth quirk into a flirtatious smirk and then suddenly she was staring at Padfoot, one of her comrades and the wickedest boy she knew... and suddenly she made herself with all her might conclude that he was quite ordinary. QUITE uninteresting. She shook her head to herself, Evans had noticed this and began an entirely knew assault upon James as she watched him from across the room.

"Shut up Evans." Laine smirked. "Or he'll marry you." She doged a hefty pillow that came flying her way and managed to gain enough speed to peck Lily on her fuming ginger head and sprint to the other side of the common room, narrowly avoiding another object that sounded much like a copy of 'Avanced Charms of the ages' as it came to a thud upon the cobble.

"Another brush with death Starlette? Any more of these and I'll have to start on your eulogy." Said the smoky voice next to Remus and opposite James.

"Good with a pen are you Pads? That's poetic, i almost thought you were serious. " Moony sniggered, while Potter tried to catch his eye with a knowing smirk. Black held his hand to his heart in feigned dramatics.

"Your death would be a perfectly acceptable occasion to showcase my remarkable talent. You've got to SAVE these things Star." Laine scoffed.

"Well if ever I die Pads, I'll be sure to be heroic about it so you can publish that in your autobiography." Sirius smiled with a gut churning amount of charm.

"Why thank you, that's very sweet." Lupin cleared his throat with a look of terrible amusement adorned on his face.

"When you're done flirting with each other, do you still want me to go over your Arithmancy notes with you Laine, you know, before i'm old and grey?" She straightend herself off of the back of James's chair and dragged Remus to the edge of the common room.

Sirius watched her animatedly pour over endless piles of books, while Moony safe guarded her with his endless amounts righteous patience. He scowled, at least he was being smart about it. Sirius glanced towards a group of rowdy seventh year boys gawking at girls as they passed. Padfoot sighed, turning back to James, he discovered Wormtail had sat down at some point during his daydream and was looking more concerned than usual. He retuned into Prongs's conversation and immediately understood why.

"Look at her over there... She's just so perfect. Isn't she? Like I've said, this year is our year fellas!"

Sirius gafawed. "At least you know you've said it mate." He let his head sink down into his arms, breathing in the smell of polished wood and parchment.

He heard James go on some more, before Wormtail tripped over himself just trying to get away from Prongs ten minutes in. James, noticing the common room was sparcer and that Lily had retired to her dormitory some time ago, made the journey upwards to bed.

Sirius decided he was rather comfortable on the table and soon the sounds of footsteps retreating to the dorms faded as he slept.

"Sirius."

"Hm?" He felt two slender hands attack his forearm.

"Sirius Black!" He opened an eye gingerly, to find an almost disheveled as he was Laine, looking spectacularly hot at 1.00 o clock in the morning.

"Sod off Starship." He yawned and sat up, his head slipping backwards onto the chair back. "Actually I've got a better one... Not tonight dove, I've got an early day tomorrow." He smirked at her in the glow of the dimming fire." You know how you get."

Star rolled her eyes, rising from her haunches and hopping onto the table top in front of him.

"I've had a thought Pads..."

"Dear God, everybody take cover!"

"Shh-" "I mean it, keep quiet, or Thomson the 'picture perfect' prefect will actually do his job."

Sirius raised his hands in surrender, peering at her from between raven waves.

"What if they don't stop?"

Sirius shook his head. "Nah. That's too general a thought for this early in the morning. For all I know you could be talking about Minnie and her secret love-affair- don't look at me like that Stars, we know she goes into Hogsmeade along with the rest of us. Where does she go? I'll bet she's apparating off with some bloke-" Delicate fingers shoved his mouth closed, as icey eyes bore into him.

"Some professor. You've said and I'll bet on it too, but listen before we get caught; Lily is off her rocker this year and James is just pissing me off, if they never get together I will have to babysit him for the rest of my life," Sirius made to interrupt but was cut off by both of Stars hands crossing over his affronted mouth. "Yea, yea Pads I will because you'll have a stash of fire whiskey under your leather jacket and I DO NOT want to babysit both of you while Remus is being clever and living in the mountains." Black clasped both her wrists with his free hand used his other to secure them to his chest, bringing their faces only inches apart.

"And this plan of yours is what?" Suddenly Sirus understood, his eyes sparking beautifully and then suddenly darkening with irritation. "It's risky. Could be done... but if Lily finds out, she'll have our heads, love." Sirius watched as the petulant amber-haired girl in front of him knit her eyebrows together in offense.

"Hogsmeade, next week. And don't you dare call me 'love'. In no way is that allowed." Black tugged her forwards with a lazy pull, internally relishing in their proximity as she fell into his chest. As she looked up, clearly about to tear his head off, he set his soft lips to her snarled nose, threw her around so that she sat shakily where he had been moments ago and made a mad dash for the boys dorm stairwell.

In the last of the red glow of the fire, Crowley felt her face burn brighter than the sun as she touched nimble fingers to her attacked nose. She shook her head, irritated with herself for adorning a face-splitting smile. As she made her way up the stairs, into her nightgown and right into bed, her smirk would not fade, hard as she tried to be rid of it. "Bastard." She closed her eyes, heart beating right out of her chest.

The next week in waiting was spent in darkend corners after meals and in the bustling crowd before lessons, devising the most brilliant match-making plan that had ever been conceived.

Sirius and Laine had racked up a fair of favors and this little plot was rapidly diminishing them all.

"Worth it though." Sirius whispered during lunch on Friday. Laine ran her hands through her soft curls, leaving her fringe in a ruffle as it rested over her tired brow.

"Not for me. You know how many times I've had to steal Prongs cloak this week? Add that to my Arithmancy calculations list and this damn spell that STILL won't connect my power - source to any magical component- "

"And you say the Prongs and Red verbal vomit." Starlette glared as though she had never glared before. Sirius was rather intimidated, but he would admit he loved his mother before telling her that. So, he opted to raise his glass in salute as he lent over his potatoes.

"I've got a year Black. One year to get this power- source thing ready before this war gets out of hand, you know it will. Otherwise I'm living with Remus for the rest of my wizarding career."

"James and I would happily take you in Starship." He pouted.

"I wouldn't live with you idiots if I was married to you." Sirius sighed into his potatoes.

"Ouch." He watched her haughty, slender figure tense- as he'd known it to do when she was set she was righter than Dumbledoor himself- then he watched her glance towards him, he watched her pretty face relax slightly and he watched her offer a rare apology.

"Sorry Siri." He straightened up, leaning in with a devious amount of charm.

"Haven't heard that in a while, I almost forgot what you sounded like when you're submissive. Silly me." He winked... he was slapped.

"In the dog box again Pads? What's this, the four-hundred and - tenth time?" Sirius held his hand to his cheek as he looked at James, Remus and Peter standing over the other side of the table.

"Thrilled you've been counting." Padfoot was promptly much more interested in his mangled potatoes.

Crowley found herself once again in a complex discussion with Lupin over very old, very cumbersome runes, to which James was only mildly interested as he watched a particular stream of red hair fly angrily down the Grifindoor table. "Twice in one day Star, you are not an easy customer." James nodded towards the red-haired witch fast approaching their turf.

"Boys, help-" the four of them watched their fifth Maurader being hauled unceremoniously out of the Great Hall.

Sirius, suddenly feeling much more optimistic, discarded his potatoes and smiled brilliantly at his friends. "Desert boys?"

-------------------------------------------------------

"Did you, or did you not suggest that Slughorn ought to pair James and I up for his biological depiction of the effects Amortica, essay due at the end of term?"

"I did." Evans blazed on.

"-And don't bother denying it, I know you've been spent these last few- What?" Star smiled.

"Unless you want to hide something from Potter, it shouldn't matter. James was top of his class last year with his essay, if I may remind you, you were second. Slug thought it was a wonderful idea. Thought it would really inspire other students to do better than the best. I, HOWEVER thought it would allow me to have a few restful afternoons till Christmas."

"Oh, you are a right arse, you know?" With that, the tempestuous red fury was chasing a couple of first years out of her way as she quite literally stormed off to Defence Against the Dark Arts.

Crowley sighed. "Phase one in motion then." She said to nobody in particular.

-------------------------------------------------------

Friday evening was spent waiting in a cold, dark hall for a very late Sirius Black. Croewn practiced mentally cursing him in varying ways, commiting various crimes quite happily.

"Sorry love, Moony, Wormtail and I were trying to stop James having a fit."

"Why'd you tell him before hand?" She realized after she said it, that she was too cold to care how the question sounded innocent and slightly relieved as opposed to her usual scowling rage as Sirius arrived at an attractive jog, breath turning to mist in the depth of the dark hall.

"Cause I did not want to spend my Saturday morning telling James Potter to pretend he hadn't just heard Lily Evans would agree to go out with him." She laughed as she watched the pure dread collect upon his features, as though his gorgeous face was a pool of contemptuous dew upon a wavering leaf.

"Alright Pads, you've had a hard time, you poor baby." She lifted her hand to pat his cheek, unbeknownst to her, sending Sirius's stomach into a very painful series of backflips. Feeling exactly like he was being a baby, he shifted closer to her. She watched his eyes grow dark with lust- she'd seen him look at her like this before but this was one of those rare occasions where she wasn't allowed to bat at him til he left her alone.

"What no comeback? All flustered over there, pretty bird?"

"Bit. But you see here - my darling 'mutt'- i will not hesitate to- " Just a hallway down, a hefty door opened and shut, twin pairs of foot steps echoing towards them.

"Ready love?"

"Yes." It came out much breathier than she cared for. "Be nice alright?"

"No." Before she could think, his lips had stolen hers in an amount of passion that was so violent, it made her knees buckle. He caught her, just, backing them up into the nearest wall. It was icy cold in contrast to his body, which was pressed so close to hers it was as though he was her second skin.

With an absolutely tremendous effort, he pulled away from Crowley, she followed him for a moment, trying to disentangle her hands from his soft locks of ebony without flustering too visibly. "So tomorrow morning then?" He said, just as breathless as he looked. "And I'll get James to come along, make sure whoever you pick is good or I'll have it for the rest of my life."

Clearing the knot in her throat with a considerable effort, she said. "Sure, see ya Pads." With another heroic effort he made to leave Crowley alone where the next part of their plan she needed executed alone. "Sirius?"

"Yeah?" He felt as though he was choking. "Why now? Why have you suddenly had the urge to stop being Sirius Black?"

And with honesty he had never expressed before he said, "Becuase I like the Sirius Black I am when I'm with you, far better than any other kind." Star smiled as she watched his very attractive back dissappear into the darkness. She supposed that was true but this wasn't for them both, not yet anyways. Maybe they could reconsider when she didn't have three million and one things to worry about every other day.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" And here we go. She sighed and turned around to find Lily in pure shock and Marlene had seemed to escape the position of shock and move straight onwards to outrage.

After an unnecessarily long walk back to the common room, Crowley was freezing with what felt like an on-coming cold deep in her throat after hours of somewhat fabricated, somewhat truthful events that led to what her girl friends considered a completely diabolical withhold of information.

It took another several hours after that to convince Lily she didn't feel comfortable going out with Sirius alone (a complete lie, she would apologize later). Then another forty five minutes of in depth kissing discussion before she could, disgruntled and embarrassedly throw her pillow over her head and fail to go to sleep for many hours after that, wondering the same intrusive things, ' what was it like to make out with Sirius Black?'

10 o' clock rolled around faster than Star had expected.

She was being jostled awake by a pristinly gorgeous Lily, with layers of charmed curls resting over her red- coated, woolen scarfed chest. Crowley awoke as though she had been told several bunny rabits had just been slaughtered beneath her mattress, stormed off to tame her mane of fluffy amber waves, threw on some flowing, blue wizards robes and black coat and raced down the stairwell, landing at her friend's feet.

They were gathered around each other, chatting quite happily. James was egging Lily on, but she seemed to be taking it quite pleasantly. Star was much to tired to observe this fact properly.

Something bi-coloured and warm was thrust around her neck with a surprising amount of gentleness attached to the end of the motion. "Trust me, it's pelting out there." Said that smoky voice Laine had come to adore.

"Oh, thank you, fair enough really."

"What kind of a comeback is that?" She sighed into Black's scarf.

"A tired one." "Well, that's just no good darling. C'mon I have a brilliant idea." She smiled walking over the the portrait hole limply. James followed her with an unnoticed smirk in Lily's direction.

Sirius rounded on Lily. "Hope you got all the good stuff for the ringer you put my girl through." Lily smirked evilly up at him.

"Your girl Black?"

"Mmm, yea, well, I'm working on it."

The four of them landed themselves in the Three Broomsticks with several smuggled in Fire Whiskey's down in about an hour.

Lily and James were chatting happily about their shared potions project, while Star was practically falling over herself with exhaustion. "Mhm, we're geniuses Padfoot, you and me." She was tipsily falling right into Sirius's side, a thing he did not protest in the least.

"Yeah love, just not while you're tipsy."

"Me being drunk has nothing to do with your smarts mister!"

"Ever the argument darling."

"Of course, I grew up with you boys, needed to be quick. Hah!"

"Does that mean you practice these little flirting outbursts you and I have?" Sirius smirked.

"Noooooo, it means that I just like flirting with you." She spun her finger around in his face, poking it straight at his chest. Her eyes widened, a mischievous smirk appearing on her lips. "Oh, that's muscle you have there hound dog. Damn, I must be a lucky girl!"

Sirius smile could only be described as a thousand KwT smile as he pulled Laine to her feet. "Must be." She reached for her tankard and was promptly pulled further away from the table. "No. No. You've had enough love, James, bring your - bring Red and meet us outside." Prongs saluted him with a lopsided smirk and Lily smiled, bringing hers and James's tightly interwoven hands onto the table top as they made for the bar to pay.

"I was drinking that. I don't think it did me much good,but it's the principle Siri!" Sirius was fiddling with his coat, which seemed to have come into some miraculous form of disrepair. "Baaabbby." Sirius grimaced, finally letting slip a bark of laughter as he watched her serious face. "Don't think that now's a good time for nick names Crowley. Man, I wish I had that taped, Moony even showed me how to do it over the summer."

"No. No, I'm not loving you, I'm insulting you. I'm calling you a baby." Padfoot rolled his eyes much more dramatically than he intended to.

"Naturally." He sighed. What is James doing? He was rightfully peeved as he waited in the drizzle on the cobbled street. "Hey." He watched Star wander out of the covered awning and into the street, seemingly staring at her reflection in a puddle. "Hey! You brat, come here." She didn't reply, in fact she seemed to be scowling, slowly verging to falling over. "Come on, try to refrain from passing out. Please?" Still not a word. "Lightweight." He mumbled as he stepped out into the drizzle to collect her back to safety.

"Siri? Pads, i- Pads look here."

"No, look never mind our plan, James and Lily are getting along swimmingly, can we please go see Madam Pomfrey before you hit me for getting you sick?"

"What?" She turned to Sirius, eyes big and glassy. "Sirius, I'd never blame you for that. No way, I love you. You knew that, didn't you?"

Sirius had frozen, in fact, he had simply stopped working. His hands were clenched to Stars waist, he was getting soaked and he was far to exuberant to care. "Say that again." He turned her to face him, hands pressed into her rosy cheeks.

" Hey! Alright, alright. Sirius Black, I love you. Very much. I've thought about your stupid arse naked far too many times to count and I cannot remember for the life of me when I decided I couldn't date you, because you've grown into a remarkable young man and I've been thinking this for weeks and haven't told you because I love you too much to screw around with our relationship, but I am a pitiful lightweight and I bow to you for your alcohol tolerance."

Far too much was going on inside his brain at this moment. So, he decided to bet on the safest option. He slammed his lips into hers, overwhelming passion and requited love pouring out of his very soul.

He had grown up. Enough to know he needed a partner and the countless times he could recall her just that was enough to give him a radical reality check. He had wanted Laine Crowley since she had saved their lives with extraordinary skill and courage in their fourth year. He had tried desperately to be rid of that notion, to tell himself he needed time to grow up before he dared touch her. He smiled into their kiss. He was grown up now.

"I love you Laine. I have loved you for a stupid amount of time and I want you to know- oh, you're not actually drunk are you?" She smiled, her hands resting on his as they caressed her cheeks. "Well, no. A bit, but otherwise no." Sirius glowered.

"That's news to me."

"Yeah well you were too nervous to get your 'ead out of yer arse."

"Please, like you were any better!"

"I was actually." She smirked, not daring to move his hands from her face.

"Ooo, you brat. You are so dead."

"Now hang on, you were saying you loved me a moment ago, don't spoil it." His face was nothing short of pure bliss.

"You little twat, before anything else you are so dead!" She peppered kisses to his palms, with a growing satisfaction forming in her belly as she watched his cheeks tint pink.

"I do love you, i can still kill you." He wrenched her towards him, kissing her until neither of them could breath, it was only when she was wriggling in his grasp did he remove his tongue from her throat.

"I'm running away now." Crowley panted.

"Nuh-uh. I'm not done being mad at you for entrapment."

"Well, to be fair, it was Lily's idea. "

"Yes, thank you, I put two and two together."

Just then the door burst open with a window shuddering force. "FINALLY!" James cheered. He turned to Lily, "What I tell you Lilypad? Pay up." Lily exchanged a jingling pouch for a full on kiss on the lips.

"Hang on-" Star gafaws "Oh hush, Jamie and I have been dating for ages. I thought you noticed last week when you put us together for potions but, then there I was talking to James and we figured it out." Lily beamed at them.

"You double dating, double crossers. That whole ordeal put me through a lot of stress." Sirius glared at James who pranced over to his two best friends and slung his arms around their shoulders.

" You lot thought Lily and I were getting annoying? No way. I could only take those forlorn, puppy love eyes for so long, so while Lils was bucking up the courage to say we were a shagging-"

"James Fleamont Potter!"

"Ah, sorry. Anyways, that we were, no longer uselessly separated. We decided to get you so irritated with us you'd have to get together to have somebody sensible to talk to." Lily smiled at the three people in front of her.

"Didn't expect you to try to get one over on us though."

"I'll imagine that was quite funny Red."

"Yes Sirius. It really was. You were beautiful."

Sirius smirked. "Sadist."

"Felon." She remarked back.

James shook the both of them on his either side. Sirius seemed to have givin in and was enjoying his friends victory.

"Prongs, stop. Or I really will be sick." There was some clamor to make sure Star was in good health, James and Sirius were never so protective of anyone other than Laine Crowley when she wasn't feeling well.

After she had convinced them that she wasn't dying and that it would be wise to find something else to do before she strangled them, Remus and Peter arrived.

Remus looked positively delighted, Peter positively confused. "So who decided to stop being an idiot first.

"Sirius."

"Laine." They spoke simultaneously and burst into a fit of giggles all the same.

"Nevermind. I'm glad I don't have to spend long hours soothing either of your aching souls anymore. That was worse than James."

"No?" Star protested. There was a collective 'yes', as even Peter seemd to have caught on, while Sirius simply wore a wry smile.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

"You owe me a bedtime story." They sat in front of the fire, well into the night when every one had retired to their dorms.

"Yeah?" Sirius waited til Star had finished kissing his jawline, to answer.

"Mhm. How you put all your effort into flirting with me instead of bagging me?" Black scoffed.

"Would you have said yes to the play boy?" Eyes drooping in the firelight she smiled, a coy glint flickering over her face.

"No. But I would've let you bag me."

Sirius rolls his eyes. "Now you tell me." Star flops down into his lap, wrapping her fingers around his hand, securing it firmly against her chest. "G'night, my darling Pads. "

"Not a mutt anymore love?"

"Nah, she yawned, " you're too pretty for that."

He smiled, never loving anything more than her.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Thank you to all those who read to the end!

Please let me know if you'd like to see more content like this!!

Fin

#sirius black fanfiction #sirius black x fem!reader #sirius black imagine #sirius black x reader #marauders imagine #sirius black #sirius x oc #sirius x you #sirius x reader #jily fic #harry potter fanfiction #mauraders era #remus lupin #lily evens #peter pettigrew #oc #sirius orion black #sirius black fluff #james & peter & remus & sirius

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shipwreckedshadows · 2 years

Text

A Thin Blanket of Snow

Derry Girls, Good Omens AU

Sister George Michael x Janet Taylor

The introduction to this AU can be read here.

__________________________________

Janet had finished marking the sixth years’ algebra tests with a regrettable, flourishing check mark when she felt it. A striking, benevolent force settled over Derry like a thin blanket of snow. A chill travelled up her spine as she scrawled a begrudging “well done” on the top of the last test paper. Heaven had placed one of their angels in Derry and it was only a matter of time before it was drawn towards Janet and her cozy, practical teaching job.

For several months after the presence arrived, Janet operated her daily life on edge, constantly vigilant. If the faculty noticed her agitated aura, the students definitely did as well. Students seated near the front often fell under Janet’s ire. They fought over who got to sit in the back row so often, Janet ran out of detention slips.

As the year dragged on, she became increasingly more distracted and less than efficient at either of her jobs. She found herself relying on miracles to finish her grading - a meagre power of which she was dimly supplied, and she received a letter from the department of Inconvenience that she was not prodding enough sinful behaviour out of the humans in Derry. Her efforts were scattered and unfocused. She needed to get rid of that angel - or at the very least, learn how to ignore its gentle yet alarming presence.

One bright Monday morning, as she stepped off the bus and walked to her office, she could feel the angel’s presence more clearly. Bright, gentle waves of goodness emanated from the west side of the college building. No doubt the angel had sniffed her out. She paused in the grand entry-way of Our Lady Immaculate College, the gears in her brain turning. Janet forced herself to put one foot forward, then the next. She was an absolute terror, she reminded herself. She had scared off her fair share of angels in her centuries of work - she could scare off another. The thought projected her en-rout to her office again, yet did not make the prospect of eventually encountering the angel any less nerve-wracking.

She decided to resume her day as normal and wait for the angel to come to her.

----

George Michael - or, Sister Michael as she was known to the humans - set the last box of her things down in the office. She stared out the window and contemplated the view of the patchy quad. Ever since she arrived in Derry, she could sense a tiny, dark inconsistency hidden neatly among the populous. As much as she enjoyed the perks of her lower angelic status, she couldn’t say there was much to be said about the power it came with. Much as she tried to reach out and sense where or what this dark entity could be, she couldn’t get a decent read on it. Hopefully, for the sake of the children, it wouldn’t turn up here.

At about 9 AM that morning, the students and day-staff congregated in the gymnasium for daily assembly.

The head secretary invited her up to the podium and that’s when George felt a pair of wicked, beady eyes upon her. Though the same could be said about most of the students that gazed upon their new headmistress, one glare in particular drew her attention.

When she met those eyes, she found they belonged to a petite, simmering demon with rather short, voluminous black hair. They were the first demon George had encountered in a long time but there was no mistaking the timid hostility that possessed every demon in the presence of an angel.

George collected herself and addressed the student body, “Good morning everyone.” she said flatly into the deafening silence, “Thank you all for having me. I hope my placement here will be less painful for you than it will be for me. Please know that while sun may smile down at you lot this morning, I for one do not. That is all, thank you.”

She caught a quickly concealed cheeky look from the demon in the back.

As George made her way from the gymnasium, she decided to resume her day as normal and wait for the demon to approach her, if they so liked.

----

In the end, Sister Michael won out. Janet wanted to peel herself out of her corporation’s skin and leap three districts north, away from Derry and its new angel. With all the students away for the evening, there was nothing to muffle the kind force of Sister Michael’s presence. It was like an awful itchy rash on her conscious and Janet needed to do something about it.

Janet rarely had the opportunity to engage her influence over the sin of lust - she was a demon of standards, who also happened to teach at a high school. But she figured she might win her favour with the angel if it at least thought she was attractive. Angels, after all, were not immune to sin.

Sister Michael apparently was not immune to sloth, as was evident by its rather concise speech this morning. The angel almost seemed disillusioned, as if the grand scheme of goodness wasn’t worth the hassle.

With a wave of her hand, she shortened her skirt an inch and a half - not a large margin, but enough to break the dress code. The toes of her heals became pointed as they shaped themselves to become more like pumps and less like practical mary-janes. The top-most button of her blouse popped open, revealing the tiniest v of skin.

Subtle, sweet, and sexy - a trio of words that Janet valued very much.

Janet paused at the top of the stairs.

As Janet made her way to the headmistress’s office, Sister Michael’s presence increased in clarity. It was like increasing the resolution on a photograph or bringing a picture closer to your face to see the details better.

The angel had its full being on display. Janet could pick out the angel’s strongest virtues if she wasn’t actively trying to block out the sensation. It had to be an intimidation tac-tic, the way a pea-cock opened its feathers to scare away competition. It had to be intimidation, otherwise...

... otherwise it meant that the angel had no control or awareness that it was broadcasting its light across the entire city of Derry.

Janet thought back to the morning assembly. Sister Michael seemed the tiniest bit surprised when it laid eyes on Janet. Either the angel wasn’t paying attention or it didn’t know Janet had been occupying territory within the school.

If that was the case, Janet smiled as she turned a corner, then it meant that this angel wasn’t particularly strong or in tune with its power. It was just an average, low-ranking ethereal being.

Just like Janet.

Perhaps, Janet hoped as she knocked on the grand door of the head teacher’s office, they could reach an understanding on those terms.

________

Some notes: Angels and demons have certain pronoun conventions. Demons and angels both refer to all ethereal beings using it/its, unless told to do otherwise. George uses they/them to refer to all entities, unless she is told to use something else.

#Sister Michael #Janet Taylor #derry girls #good omens AU #alumnix writes

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shenanigans-and-imagines · 9 months

Text

Astarion x Ace!Tav Reverse AU Rambles

Full credit to @any59 for coming up with this idea and letting me run with it. Also shoutout to @leighsartworks216 for letting me ramble to them about it too.

(Astarion x Ace!Tav Masterlist)

Okay basic run down of this AU; Tav is the rich noble captured by Cazador and turned into a vampire and Astarion is the scrappy abandoned street kid

Astarion was abandoned by his parents at a very young age and grew up rough on the streets of Baldur's Gate, learning to pickpockets and kill to survive. He got taken in by the thieves guild, but never formed any particularly close bonds, taking a "fuck you got mine" philosophy early on. He also quickly discovered how his looks could be an asset. He has used sex to allow him access to wealthy estates steal any variety of things from jewels to incriminating letters. It's just another tool in his arsenal and one he can enjoy now and again.

Tav meanwhile was the child of a well to do family, providing them a loving home and a wealth of opportunities. They found a talent for music, one that was nurtured from a young age. Bards would be brought to their home, but Tav would sneak out to see them in action, performing in taverns and streets in order to fully appreciate the music. During one of these nights Tav was attacked and left for dead, only for Cazador to find them. In pain and afraid, they accepted his gift thinking he had saved them; oh Gods if they had only known then.

Tav was taught how to use their music to charm and enchant people, acting as a pied piper to lead victims to their master with the promise of a "private performance".

Sometimes a target would get pushy and then Tav would get on their knees or their back to provide them a "preview".

Please them, submit, don't cause waves, smile, compliment and if they demand more, give them more.

It's was this attitude that lead them to be one of Cazador's "favorites". He'd grant them unexpected mercies for being so obedient only to bring them more pain later at some imagined transgression.

They were so full of hope, it was satisfying to him every single time.

When they’re taken by the nautiloid Tav’s only goal is to get back to Baldur’s Gate as surely their master would be looking for them

And then they realize they can walk in the sun and a whole new world opens up to them

Astarion is not what you would call impressed by them upon first meeting

He takes one look at their fine clothes and wide eyed gaze and pegs them for a pretty little songbird plucked from their gilded cage

Their penchant for helping every soul they come across doesn’t help with his assessment and Tav keeps their history with Cazador close to the chest

It’s easy to divert attention as they are so practiced at being charming and pleasing to everyone

It’s only further into their travels that Astarion starts to notice little inconsistencies in his initial assessment

They’re oddly calm around blood and carnage

Once they start to open up, he catches onto their quick wit and often dark sense of humor

They let the little things like petty thievery slide

He takes a closer look at their clothes, and though fine, they are old and fraying at the edges

Then there are the string of dead mangled animals following where ever they go; Wyll seems to think it’s a vampire

It’s only after he catches Tav fangs deep in a boar are his new suspicions confirmed

Tav is fearful this means they're going to be kicked out from the group, or even killed, but after the initial shock wears off, nobody can voice any objections. They feed off on animals and have done nothing but try to help from the moment they all met.

It's Astarion's reaction that surprises them most

They expect hostility and immediate distrust. What they got was all too blase. So long as they keep their fangs far away from his neck, he doesn't mind them sticking around. Plenty of non-vampires drain the life of other living creatures without even the excuse of dietary restrictions. He's honestly more annoyed with himself for not realizing sooner.

This is also when they start to open up about Cazador and Astarion starts to re-examine his assumptions

Tav isn't trying to help everyone just because it's the right thing to do; they feel immense guilt about what they had to do under Cazador going so far as to say they remember every single one they brought to their master

They want to somehow make it right, to be the person they wished had come and saved them all those years ago

The sentiment leaves a bitter taste in Astarion's mouth

Two hundred years of torture without a single person lifting a finger to help them and they still believed somebody would eventually save them? And now their bending over backwards to prove themselves right? How disgustingly romantic. How painfully naive.

He knows he wouldn't have saved them. If he had met them, he would have saw them as the pretty little rich bard they appeared to be. He would have smiled and charmed his way into their bed none the wiser. They may have even tried to warn him, to protect him even after he used them with the full intent of slipping away in the morning. He wouldn't have been their savior and that… gnaws at him in a way he can't describe

He sees how the others flutter about them and that dark twisting knot pulls at his chest, because that's what Tav deserves. People that would have helped

Still they continue on their journey and Tav starts to push what they can do now that they're no longer under Cazador's rule

Astarion is the one who encourages them the most to embrace fully who they are

Yes, they are a creature of the night. Have fun with it. So what if you need to drink blood to survive? I've met far worse non-vampires than you. That bandit was going to kill us. Take a bite. Be stronger. Be better. You're not Cazador. You're incapable of it. I'm not afraid of you who why should you be afraid of yourself?

This culminates if Tav finally having their first taste of blood from a thinking being

They get to the Shadow cursed lands, food is scarce and they just keep putting off eating to the point that Astarion starts to notice. He doesn't know how anyone else is missing it, but he knows starvation when he sees it. He confronts Tav about it and they break down about their fears and Cazador's rule about drinking the blood of living beings.

It's then Astrion offers his neck, telling them it's time to break the rules

Tav is still afraid to hurt him and so forgoes the neck, taking his wrist instead for her first bite

There's pain at first, but Astarion can't help but watch in fascination as they feed, even running his free hand through their hair to encourage them to have their fill

Eventually they breaks away, a little embarrassed and mumbling their thanks

Astarion isn't sure if it's the bloodloss or just Tav, but they might be the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

They look happy, healthy in a way he hasn't seen in weeks. He gave that to them.

He encourages Tav to keep feeding off of him, pushing his own limits of how much he can give.

Tav is constantly checking in to see if it's alright, but he doesn't want them to stop. He wants them to take everything, to not be afraid of what they are. He wants to show them that he can handle it, that he might have not be their savior, but he can give them this.

He doesn't want her to hide from him

He confesses all of this one night, it's the closest he's ever come to saying "I love you" and meaning it

He doesn't know how to love, not properly anyway

The only way he knows how to give it is in blood, either his or somebody else's

Tav in turn accepts both gratefully

They spent so long in the dark, scarred and bloodied, it only makes sense that the one who would finally pull them out would be covered in it

That's all I got for now, but if any of y'all want to know more or have questions about specific moments, hit me up! I'm always ready to indulge in more brain rot.

#astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x ace!tav #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion ancunin #asexual!tav #bard!tav #astarion x reader #reverse au #astarion x evie

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drewexe · 2 years

Text

Like The Stars Pt. 1

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4

Pairing: jaemin x fem!reader

Genre: smut, fluff, sex lessons au, friends to lovers

Word Count: ~8,8k

Includes: high school seniors (everyone is legal of age); canon bisexual mc; side characters donghyuck, renjun, and karina; profanities; obviously, sex lessons; kind of a slow burn?; mc being oblivious and kind of innocent but hopefully not in an annoying way; one handjob (for now)

Summary: you'd had a crush on renjun for as long as you could remember, but your lack of experience always stopped you from taking the first step; it's a good thing you have your trusted friend jaemin to help you out

Author's note: fun fact about this story, i've been writing it ever since ridin came out... i edited it a bit to make that less obvious, but i apologize for any writing inconsistencies that may appear, as there is only so much i can change without rewriting the full thing also if you see any mentions of hair colors, no you didn't also i meant to post this as one part but i wasn't able to finish it by the day i wanted to post it so imma stop procrastinating and finish it on the go hehe

It was something like an unwritten rule that rich kids would go to private schools, at least where you lived, which could also be heavily influenced by the fact that one of the best private schools in the country was located in your town. Of course, coming from a family of successful businessmen, you had been enrolled the moment your family stepped foot there three years ago. About 95% of the students were filthy rich, the remaining 5% being scholarship kids that you didn’t really communicate with much. Well, truth be told, you only really communicated with four people in the school but in all honesty, you enjoyed your school life.

You walked into the school cafeteria and headed over to the table where your best friend Karina was already enjoying her lunch. Across from her was sitting Donghyuck, another one of your friends. Karina and Hyuck had a long story back, both of them teasing each other all the time, never actually getting together yet for some reason. You had given up trying to help them. You had enough to worry about with your own secret crush anyway.

“The school year started two weeks ago, how come I already have three different assignments,” you complained instead of a greeting once you sat down at the table.

“Senior year, Y/N, we all knew that was coming,” Hyuck shrugged, grinning slightly with an astonishing lack of empathy.

You just rolled your eyes, not bothering to respond. You took a bite out of your lunch but got distracted as soon as two familiar figures entered the cafeteria. The other two in your small group – Na Jaemin and Huang Renjun. Your eyes quickly stopped on the Chinese boy and you couldn't help but let out a quiet sigh.

“Y/N, dear, can you please tell him finally?” Karina rolled her eyes next to you, leaning closer and lowering her voice so Hyuck wouldn't listen in. “You’ve had a crush on Renjun for as long as I’ve known you, you should just go for it.”

You shook your head quickly, opening your mouth to say something in objection but then the two boys had already reached the table. You closed your mouth again and waved at them with a smile.

“Hello there,” Jaemin greeted, grinning slightly as he sat on the table next to you. Like, literally on the table, his feet stepping on the bench. You looked up at him, eyebrows raised in just a slightly judging manner.

“Hey, kiddo,” you smiled back, reaching up to ruffle his hair.

Yet your smile melted as Renjun suddenly sat down next to you, greeting you with a soft “Hello, beautiful” of his own and throwing his arm over your shoulder. You greeted back softly, enjoying the feeling of his body near yours.

Renjun confused you a lot of the time - he seemed open to you, he flirted and complimented you a lot, but he’d never really addressed any feelings and you knew him as a straightforward guy that wouldn’t just keep quiet if he wanted something. Which is why you were scared to ask him yourself. That, and your lack of experience. Well, you weren’t innocent and pure, you had dated and had sex before, but it had been with girls. Men were a confusing thing to you, you weren't sure what to do with those and feared messing up, as dumb as that was. But you just didn’t want to mess up with Renjun.

“People, I am planning on organizing a back-to-school party this year,” Jaemin said, pulling you away from your thoughts.

“Are parties all you think about?” Renjun tsked in disapproval on your left, making you chuckle. “You’re legally an adult already, Nana, you can’t always just have fun.”

“So, who wants to host it?” Jaemin ignored him, a grin spreading on his lips. “My parents are home tonight so it can’t be at my place. Hyuckie?” Donghyuck shook his head with a roll of his eyes.

“Don’t look at me,” he whined. “Last time I let you have a party at my place, I had to find my precious Michael Jackson albums in the bottom of the laundry basket, under at least three shirts that weren’t mine!”

The grin on Jaemin’s lips didn’t fall, instead, he just seemed pleased with the mentioned outcome.

“My parents aren’t home, actually,” you mentioned, chuckling slightly. “And you’re in luck, I actually feel like dealing with one of your parties, Jaem,” you said, smiling at the boy that immediately turned to you, a happy glow in his eyes that melted you a bit on the inside.

“Great then, I’ll go invite everyone important!” he jumped up, already taking out his phone and ignoring Renjun’s eye roll and disappointed sigh.

“Y/N, you should finish your lunch,” Renjun said to you, smiling sweetly. “If you’ll be dealing with him all night, you’ll need all your energy.” You nodded slightly as you took a big bite of your meal, eyes shining from the approval on Renjun’s face.

You failed to notice Jaemin’s mood faltering and the way his smile dropped as he left the cafeteria. And when you realized he had left, you just shrugged, assuming it was just to talk to his friends about the party.

The school day passed by quickly, and soon you found yourself at home getting everything ready for the party. The home staff had helped you stock up enough alcohol and snacks for as many people as you could, not really sure who Jaemin would even have invited. You hoped it wouldn’t be the whole school, which he had done once in Renjun’s house. You were relieved to see not that many people arriving. I mean, of course, it was a pretty big party, but you could handle this much and still have a house by the next day.

The night was going well, everyone seemed to be having fun, a lot of the kids were already getting drunk, and you were pretty sure at least one of the guest rooms was taken up, but you were happy. And maybe a little tipsy yourself.

“Y/N, baby, come play with us,” you heard your best friend’s voice call out to you and turned around with a smile, seeing Karina, the three boys, and some other kids. You approached curiously, taking a sip from your glass filled with vodka and cranberry juice.

“What are we playing?” you asked, tilting your head to the side.

“Truth or dare,” Hyuck answered instead, grinning. You took notice of the boy sitting a lot closer to Karina than usual, which made you raise your eyebrows and a smirk curve your lips, throwing the other girl an amused glance to which she replied with a wink.

“I’m in,” you giggled, sitting down in the free spot next to Renjun and across from Jaemin. They had already started playing and apparently, one of the girls had to sit in another guy’s lap, which he seemed to enjoy a lot more than her. The same boy spun the bottle and it landed on you, another giggle escaping you. Okay, maybe you were more than just a little tipsy.

“Uh, if you had to date someone from the group, who would it be?” the boy asked awkwardly, which you gave to the fact that you didn’t really know each other.

“Easy, Karina” you grinned, laughing a bit after that, though judging by his expression he expected the answer to be a boy. “But if you insist it has to be with a dick, then I’d say Renjun,” you added, your mind cloudy enough to not overthink it. Renjun laughed amused, leaning over to peck your cheek, and if anyone could know that you were suddenly feeling warmer, you'd blame it on the alcohol.

As the game goes, it was your turn to spin the bottle and so you did, landing on a girl from the class below yours. You knew her very vaguely yet made up some dumb dare that the girl still ended up enjoying. A few more rounds went by and the bottle fell on Jaemin, who picked dare almost the same second.

“Kiss the person across from you,” whoever had spun said.

It took you a moment to realize that was you. You blinked, looking up and your eyes met. Unlike the confident expression you could see on his face usually, Jaemin looked unsure, you could see a question in his eyes. “I can drink if you don’t-“ he started, but you shook your head.

“Na Jaemin doesn’t step down from dares,” you declared, giggling and taking a sip from your drink again. “I ain’t gonna be the reason you change that.” With that you got up on your knees, leaning over the bottle closer to him.

You could see him still hesitating, which made you narrow your eyebrows slightly and pout. “If you don’t want to, though…“ you started, your tone a bit upset in your drunken haze, which seemed to snap him out of his anxiousness and he moved up, closer to you. His hand reached up, cupping your cheek gently.

“Any preferences on the kiss?” he asked suddenly, you weren't sure if he was asking you or the person that had given the dare.

“Aye, don’t be boring, give us a show,” someone shouted from the side and your eyes widened a bit as you realized that maybe you hadn’t really thought this through.

You hadn’t kissed boys, although you supposed it wouldn’t be much different from kissing girls. But you had never expected the first boy you kissed would be Jaemin, one of your closest friends. Yet you didn’t mind, or at least the alcohol in your system helped you not to mind.

“You better make my first kiss with a boy worth it, Na” you mumbled jokingly and then leaned closer, pressing your lips against his softly.

He seemed taken aback for a second, yet reacted almost immediately after that, kissing back and tilting his head to the side to deepen the kiss. His hand moved from your cheek to the back of your neck as he seemed to pull you closer. His tongue gently darted along your lips and you gladly opened them, letting him do whatever he pleased, the alcohol on his tongue mixing with the taste of vodka in your own mouth. You could hear cheers around you, and you could hear your brain complaining about what Renjun would think of you, but Jaemin was very distracting from both of those. Apparently, people weren’t lying when they said he was skilled with that stuff.

When he finally pulled away, you could feel your head spinning a bit, the oxygen a little short for your already intoxicated brain and you stumbled a bit as you sat back down. Renjun wrapped his arms around you quickly to help you so you wouldn’t fall. You thanked him softly, smiling at Jaemin. The other boy had already sat back down as well, seemingly calm, although his eyes were moving around anxiously. ‘Was I a bad kiss?’ was the first thought in your head, making you widen your eyes slightly. And being the dysfunctional drunk you were, the thought stuck with you for the rest of the game. You answered some questions, did some dares but didn’t even give them thought. Your mind was entirely somewhere else. All you could think about was that you had been so bad Jaemin regretted it... and that you wouldn’t be good enough for Renjun.

Caught up in your thoughts, you didn’t notice it had been your turn to spin the bottle until Renjun shook you gently. You blinked, eyes focusing on him and widening slightly when you realized how close he was. Your head was spinning and suddenly you felt the urge to kiss him.

“Sorry, someone take my turn,” you coughed out, getting up and walking away quickly as panic flooded your mind.

You headed straight for your room, closing the door behind you and leaning your back on the wall. You could feel tears rushing to your eyes so you took a large sip of your drink to distract yourself. It was going to be okay, you thought, you'd sober up and it would get better. This was a dumb reason to cry anyway.

“You okay, princess?” you heard a familiar voice suddenly. Not expecting him to be there, you jumped up slightly, looking over at Jaemin. “Sorry, I just got worried when you left so quickly and wanted to check if everything is alright.”

“Was I a bad kiss?” you asked, not really paying attention to what he had said. You could only focus on one thing at the moment.

“I’m sorry, what?“ Jaemin widened his eyes, choking slightly on air.

“Did it feel bad? Kissing me, I mean,” you reworded your question, your lips trembling a little.

“Of course not!” he shot back immediately, his face heating up noticeably. “You were one of the best kisses I’ve ever had,” he added a little more collected this time as he looked away and coughed awkwardly. You weren't sure if he was honest or just saying that to calm you down but decided not to question it for your own sake. You pouted and looked at your drink.

“Good enough for Renjun?” you asked quietly instead. You hadn’t mentioned your crush in front of the boys in your friend group because you were scared they would spread the information just because they were friends, yet at the moment that wasn’t your biggest concern. Jaemin didn’t reply though. When you looked up, his face was blank. “I’m sorry, that was a dumb question, ignore it,” you forced a laugh and took a sip from your drink as if to say ‘Look, everything’s so alright I can even drink!’

“You haven’t confessed to him yet because you’re scared you wouldn’t be good enough at kissing?” Jaemin asked, raising his eyebrow as his usual teasing grin slowly took back its place on his lips.

“Well, not just a kiss, I,“ you started explaining, then a gasp left your lips and your eyes widened. “You know?!” you screeched and covered your face with your hands.

“It’s just a little obvious,” Jaemin replied jokingly as he stepped closer to you and pulled your hands away from your face, taking the glass away from you and setting it down on the shelf near you. He’d closed the door after he’d walked in, leaving the two of you alone in your bedroom. “Now tell me, what did you mean?”

“Well, I’m scared I’ll be a disappointment,” you signed, leaning back against the wall and crossing your arms. “I’ve been with girls before. But I’ve never been with a boy, I’m scared I’ll mess up when I’m with him and he won’t want to be with me but won’t tell me because he’s just too sweet and we’ll be stuck in a relationship he doesn’t want and I can’t let go.” You were ranting at this point, the alcohol blurring your thoughts.

“You know he wouldn’t judge you for something like this,” Jaemin said quietly, one of his hands gently cupping your cheek, which made you remember the kiss earlier when he had held you the same way. “And I’m sure you’d figure out what to do quickly anyways” he added, a small smile curving his lips as if to comfort you. You were quiet for a bit, your mind once again working on its own thing.

“I know! You’ll teach me!” you exclaimed suddenly, grabbing his arms excitedly. In your eyes, there was a glimmer and Jaemin had to take a step back.

“What?!“ he choked out, and you giggled, finding his surprise adorable.

“Teach me how to please a boy, Nana,” you asked, a grin spreading your lips at the brilliant idea you had just had.

“I think you should stop drinking and just go to bed, Y/N,” the boy chuckled awkwardly, pushing you away from himself. He pulled you gently to the big bed in the corner of the room.

You narrowed your eyebrows - going to sleep wasn’t what you had wanted. So when the two of you reached the bed, you pushed Jaemin to sit on it instead, surprising him enough so he couldn’t stop you, and got in his lap. Your arms came to rest on his shoulders and you looked down at his wide eyes and flustered expression.

“I’m serious, Jaemin, you have experience with these things and I trust you.” You could see him swallowing hard, hopefully, that was supposed to mean that he was giving in. “Teach me how to fuck boys, Jaem” you whispered, begging him with your eyes.

He was still unresponsive. And if you had been sober, you probably would have apologized already and stepped away. But you weren't. So instead of that, you let your head drop until your lips could press comfortably against the skin of his neck and you started leaving open-mouthed kisses down his neck. Then you decided to go back on the same path, this time sucking and nibbling gently along the way. If the way he swallowed dryly and let out a shaky breath was any indication, your actions seemed to be doing the trick and a pleased smile curved your lips. Getting bolder as he didn’t seem to want to stop you anymore, you took it further, lips attaching to a spot you liked and sucking harshly, aiming to leave a mark. At the same time, you rolled your hips against his.

“Fuck-“ Jaemin moaned out lowly at the action, and his hips bucked up slightly against you.

And then you felt a bulge in his pants, pressing against your thigh. You thought that would mean you had won, yet suddenly he pushed you away, startling you enough to make you take a step back and off his lap. His eyes were blown wide as he looked at you, his breathing - heavy.

“Love, believe me, I would love nothing more than to push you onto this bed and have you scream my name,” he said. For some reason, the pet name sent tingles down your spine. Or it could have been the things he’d said. Or the low, raspy tone of voice that you had never heard before. You blamed it on the alcohol.

“Then why haven’t you yet?” you asked, attempting to sound seductive, yet it came out as more of a whine. “What do you want me to do, Nana? Beg for you? Beg for your dick? I can do that, I will do whatever you want me to do.”

Your eyes were tearing up a little bit at this point. You were drunk and you were now horny, and Jaemin was like a ray of light, a promise of a good time. He had just said that he wanted to do this too. So why was he still refusing?

“Y/N, you are literally wasted,” he said, his eyes softening as he stood up from the bed and approached you again. His hands cupped your cheeks, squishing them slightly and you narrowed your eyebrows. “I am not going to do anything with you in such a state.” He must have seen the disappointment on your face though, as he let out a soft sigh and pecked your lips gently, surprising you. “Listen, if when you wake up tomorrow, you still remember this and you still want me to… teach you, we’ll talk about this more, okay?”

You wanted to argue, to insist on it being right then and there. But you knew that he wouldn’t step down. And deep down, you were grateful about it. And maybe your eyes were stinging a lot more than they did a minute ago, and the bed seemed awfully inviting now.

“But what about you though?” you asked quietly, looking away from him. It wasn't until you looked back at him due to his lack of response, that you realized he didn’t understand your question. “Well, I made you… hard...?” you said, almost a question.

A chuckle left Jaemin’s lips and he shook his head a little as he pulled you to the bed, letting you lay down and carefully tucking you under the covers. His fingers got buried in your hair and he gently hummed. You were drifting away faster than you had expected. By the time his quiet reply came, you were already too gone to make out the words.

The pain in your head was a bitch. There wasn’t a single thought in your mind besides “fucking hell” for the first few hours after you'd woken up, thankful that Jaemin had been smart enough to throw his party on a Friday, so you could sleep in and die in peace. You didn’t remember getting in bed, but you didn’t really bother about it. It was your own house, you had probably gotten tired and had gone to sleep, in your room, as normal as that.

With a quiet groan, you got up, first heading into the bathroom for your usual morning routine, as well as to take a shower - you felt as if the smell of alcohol had soaked up in your bones. After that, you went to the medicine cabinet in the kitchen. There wasn’t much, but you managed to find a pack of painkillers and gladly took two. You could only hope they would work soon.

Finally feeling a bit more conscious, you decided breakfast would be nice. Obviously, you weren't in the mood to prepare anything complicated, so you just put two slices of bread in the toaster. While waiting for them to be done, you finally checked your phone. Usually, it would be the first thing you do when you wake up, but today you hadn’t had the power to. First of all, you decided to check your messages - there were some from all of your friends from last night.

“you okay?"; "nana said you went to sleep”; “kinda weird if u ask me”; “did you really fall asleep at your own party-” had asked Karina. A chuckle escaped your lips. You quickly typed back an apology, assuring her that you were okay before you opened Hyuck’s message. The smile on your face quickly dropped after you read that one, confusion taking over you.

“girl, if u thought no one would notice the giant hickey on jaemins neck-“ That was the first one. There was another one that made your pulse speed up. “fucker was looking too smug when he came back from ur room did u like suck him off or smth???”

Still unsure what he meant, you opened Renjun’s message. “Jaemin told us that you’d had too much to drink and needed rest. I hope you feel okay in the morning. Make sure to drink lots of water”. After that, there was another short one “Text me if you need anything” followed by a smiley emoji and a heart, which made you melt on the inside a little.

You were more than confused though, your brain was working at its maximum capacity in a hangover state as you moved your toast to a plate, together with some fruit, and then returned to your room to eat there. Munching on a piece of bread, you tried to remember what had happened last night. Finally, you decided that this called for drastic measures.

“Aye, thought you might have died,” were Donghyuck’s first words when he picked up the phone, his voice the usual childish tone over the speaker, a grin evident even in the way he spoke. “Am still waiting for an answer, what did you do to the poor boy?”

“That’s the thing, Hyuck, I don’t remember doing anything,” you sighed, rolling your eyes as you already regretted calling him. “I don’t really remember even being with him, honestly, I must have completely blacked out after… uh, say, did we play something last night...?” you asked, narrowing your eyebrows and nervously nibbling on your nail as you vaguely remembered sitting in a circle with a lot of other people.

“Yeah, truth or dare,” the boy responded, chuckling. “You don’t remember?” You didn’t respond for a while, which the boy seemed to take as a confirmation. “Well, uh…”

“Donghyuck...?” you asked carefully after a moment of silence. “Did I do something really weird?” Still no response. It was unusual for him to be so quiet and you were starting to get very nervous.

“I mean aside from telling everyone that you’d date Renjun and making out with Jaemin, I don’t think there’s anything you could worry about,” he said finally, his voice the normal lazy tone he had as if he hadn’t just told you what he had just told you.

“WHAT???” you screeched, hearing him whine on the other side that you had broken his ears. “Please tell me that you’re messing with me, please, Hyuckie,” you whimpered.

“Nah, you straight up had your tongue down Jaemin’s throat as if your life depended on it. Like, technically you asked for it. It was his dare and he was going to drink but you insisted quite passionately,” he replied casually as if that was the most normal thing ever. “And the Renjun thing wasn’t even that serious, I mean I doubt anyone took it that seriously.” He at least had the decency to try to sound reassuring.

You needed a moment to take it all in. Your fingers got buried in your hair, tugging on it in shock. “Do you think he caught on? He’s smart enough, he probably understood what it meant…“ you whispered, not even minding that Donghyuck seemed to be quite aware of your feelings for Renjun. “I don’t even wanna know what he thought of me - saying that and then kissing… kissing Jaemin,“ you choked on the last words, the thought was so foreign to you.

“It really wasn’t that serious, it was a dare and we had all drank quite a lot, he’d be an idiot to think any less of you for it. But maybe your drunk self was worried too, y’know, you were staring at him for a while there before you suddenly ran away to your room,” the boy on the other side said, humming. His tone seemed a bit more serious now as if he had caught onto your distress even though he was still joking about it.

You pushed your brain more, trying to find the pieces in your mind now that you knew what you were looking for. You could remember the feeling of soft lips on yours, even though the face was not there. “What happened after that? Do you know?”

“All I know is that Jaemin went after you.” You let out a hum, still trying to think. “He came back down about 20 minutes later with a giant dark bruise on his neck. He looked very distracted also, like, he seemed to be thinking about something, fidgeting around all the time and-“

Before he could finish his sentence, you let out another loud screech. It had finally clicked. Not all of it was there, but enough had returned to you and you wanted to die. To bury yourself alive and not ever appear in the land of living again.

“If you’ll repay me for my help by making me permanently deaf, I will just hang up,” Hyuck whined, but you couldn’t care less. You were horrified by your own actions.

“Donghyuck, I asked Jaemin to teach me how to have sex.”

Silence.

“You did what-“ it was a mix between a choke and a laugh as if Donghyuck was in disbelief. Understandably so. This was something quite out of your character. “Sweetie, correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t you crushing on Renjun for, like, the past couple of years?”

“I asked Jaemin cause I was scared I’d fuck up with Renjun, I’m… Hyuckie, what do I do?” you cried out, your head falling on your desk, but you barely noticed the pain in your forehead. “Hyuckie, I literally begged him and threw myself on him.” It was quiet on the other side of the line for a while and when Donghyuck spoke again, amusement laced his tone, as if he was a second away from bursting out laughing.

“Well, well, now it all makes sense…” You were just going to ask what he meant, when he continued, his tone turning suddenly more serious than you ever remembered hearing him. “I would suggest you think very carefully about this and call him and talk to him about the situation.”

“I- I mean, of course, but… Am I missing something else here?” you asked, lifting your head and narrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

“No, Y/N, just be careful. I gotta go now, Karina’s waiting for me” he said, his tone finally lightening up again and you knew you'd have to ask your best friend about it later.

“Bye,” you replied quickly, a second later the hang-up tone resonated around your room.

You picked up your phone again, nibbling on your lower lip as you reread Renjun’s message. What was he thinking of you now? He was an angel, he probably didn’t even think much of your behavior last night, brushing it off due to the alcohol you had consumed, just as Donghyuck had. But maybe he found it inappropriate. What if he had thought that you were innocent and sweet and now his opinion had been ruined forever? You figured that you didn’t dare ask and find out. So in the end, you sent him a short “Thank you” with a heart emoji, before sending Jaemin a text that you'd be at his place in 30 minutes.

Waiting at the door for Jaemin to open was nerve-wracking. You could feel your hands shaking and you were tempted to turn around and run away. Actually, that seemed like a great idea. You could call him from home, why had you even decided to meet up in person in the first place?

“Hey, princess,” his greeting startled you and ruined the chance of escaping, your wide eyes meeting his soft ones, a bright smile on his lips. He looked just like any other time you'd seen him as if nothing had happened. His hair was still messy, as if you had just woken him up, which would make sense on a Saturday morning after a party. He was wearing a large t-shirt and loose sweatpants and he looked so soft you wanted to squish him and put him in your pocket. The irony that this was the same boy you had begged to fuck you was not lost on you. “What’s up, why did you come?” he asked, once again pulling you out of your thoughts.

“I wanted to talk to you,” you squeaked out, embarrassed as to how little your voice sounded. Jaemin’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, yet he smiled even more, even though that seemed impossible, and led you inside and up to his room, taking a pack of chips and two cans of Fanta from the kitchen on your way up.

He opened one of the cans and handed it to you, before opening the other one for himself, and looked up at you.

“What’s up? How are you feeling, by the way, any hangover difficulties?” he asked, his caring nature peaking. You had to take a breath, he was one of the sweetest people you had ever met, how did you get yourself in this situation with him… You shook your head slightly as a no, which was obviously a lie, but you didn’t wanna let yourself procrastinate.

“Nana, I am so sorry for everything I did last night,” you said quietly, not daring to meet his eyes, staring at the wall behind him instead as your fingers were fidgeting with the tab of your Fanta. Yet you still managed to catch the way his expression changed, the smile falling suddenly. It was almost painful.

“So you did remember after all?” he asked quietly, taking a sip of his drink and setting it on the bedside table. “How much do you remember, princess? And what are you apologizing for exactly?”

“I- I think I remember most of it, I remember how I asked you to…“ You couldn’t finish the sentence, so you took a sip of your drink instead, trying to calm your mind a bit. “I remember I also tried to force you into agreeing…” Unconsciously, your eyes fell on his neck as if searching for… there it was, a bright reddish spot, proudly peeking over the collar of his shirt and suddenly you felt a new wave of embarrassment flooding you. “I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have invaded your space like that without permission,” you shook your head, forcing your eyes away from the bruised skin. "Not that there’s really an excuse for that…"

Jaemin obviously noticed your stare, readjusting his shirt slightly so the collar would cover the hickey. His eyes were gentle as he looked at you while you spoke, his lips pressed in a line.

“It’s okay, Y/N,” he said and something in the way he said your name made your stomach twist uneasy - it didn’t sound like usual, he sounded strained. “I could tell you’re not really in control of yourself, so don’t worry, we can just forget about it, hm?”

You looked up at him, observing his face. You could try to forget about it, of course. But you knew you wouldn’t be able to. And maybe you didn’t remember much, but you were sure he had said… what did he say exactly? Something like ‘I would love to have you scream my name.’ And hadn’t he hinted that he might agree to help you? You took a deep breath, shooting the next sentence out before you could have the time to regret it.

“I still want you to teach me”

Jaemin froze, his eyes widening as he looked up at you as if a second head had just grown out of your neck. You held his gaze, despite your mind literally screaming in fear to run away. You cleared your throat slightly and licked your lips before speaking again.

“You said that if I still want it, we can talk about it, so… If you don’t want to do it, that’s fine, I completely understand, just say something, Nana,” you asked, hoping that you hadn’t just single-handedly ruined your whole friendship.

“Are you completely sure that you want me, specifically me, to teach you about sex?” the boy asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. His eyes were unreadable, you couldn’t tell whether he wanted to do it, or to say no, you couldn’t even guess what he might be thinking about which honestly terrified you, yet you still nodded.

“I trust you more than any other guy I know, aside from Renjun and Hyuck, but they are obviously not an option. I know that you have experience, it’s not gonna be a jump in the dark…” He was still looking at you with the same expression as if waiting for you to go on. “I don’t even know why I came up with that idea back then, but I know that if I will be having sex with a boy, I would really love it if you’re the first one.” You weren't sure if what you said made sense or if it gave out the right message to the boy, especially since he knew that you liked Renjun.

“I told you last night, and I still stand behind my words, Renjun wouldn’t judge you for something like this,” he pointed out, eyes boring into yours as if he’d manage to read your mind. “You don’t need to do this for him.”

“It’s not only for him, yeah, it may be part of the reason, but I just think it’s time I stopped being afraid of being intimate with a guy,” you tried to make your idea make sense to him. He still seemed doubtful, so you forced an awkward smile on your lips as you added almost jokingly: “And I mean, why would I wanna settle for someone else if I can have the hottest guy I know?”

Tickling his ego seemed to finally do the trick, Jaemin’s mouth curved slightly at the corners and his eyes finally softened.

“Well, if you put it that way…“ he said, laughing cheerfully and you were relieved. “Fine, if you’re sure about it, I will help you,” he agreed, his tone still serious, but now it was just to show he understood the importance of what he was agreeing to. “I’ll go with your speed and I will teach you what you ask me about, okay? If you say you want something, we will do it, but I will not be initiating anything.” You nodded, smiling at him in appreciation.

“Can we not tell the others about it though?” you asked carefully, biting your lips. “I mean, Hyuck knows about last night but… can we keep this just between ourselves?”

“I mean, sure,” he shrugged, taking a sip of his drink before he looked at you again and grinned. “We have a deal, princess, just hit me up when you want to-”

“What about right now?” you shot quickly before even realizing it and the surprise on his face was almost comical.

“Well, you sure go all in…” he chuckled, shaking his head. “What do you wanna know first that you’re so impatient about?”

You looked away again, suddenly embarrassed by how eager you were.

“Well, I don’t know, you could just fuck me, like how you said you wanted to last night,” you said, a smirk curving your lips as some sudden wave of confidence washed over you. But it seemed like Jaemin was either not embarrassed to admit that or was better prepared for you now.

“I mean, I would love to,” he chuckled, a cocky smirk on his lips in return. “But lesson number one - don’t fuck a guy who doesn’t have a condom around,” he chuckled, amused at your surprised expression. “Unless, of course, you are taking pills. Or want to risk it with kids.” You quickly shook your head as a no to both.

“Then… we can try something else?” you asked, biting your lips. He was looking at you expectantly and you remembered that he’d said he wouldn’t initiate anything. “Like… we could go on what we dropped off last night and, well, I could give you… a blowjob?”

“You sure?” he asked after a long moment and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“My God, Nana, if I’m asking you to do it, it obviously means that I’m-”

“Fine then, come here” he interrupted you, something in his eyes flashing and you could feel a shiver run down your spine at his deeper tone. You stood in your spot, frozen for a few seconds and a devilish smirk curved his lips. "Having second thoughts already? You seemed pretty sure just now..." he teased and the subtle mockery in his voice seemed to be enough to get you back to your senses.

Setting the half-empty can on the bedside table, you stood up and made your way over to the boy who had put his arms behind himself and leaned back on them as he waited for you. You weren’t exactly sure whether you were supposed to try and seduce him so the way you plopped yourself on his lap wasn’t exactly graceful or sexy, but he didn’t seem to mind as one of his arms wrapped around your waist to support you.

“I think you should refrain from leaving more hickeys though if you don’t want anyone to know about this,” he chuckled softly and you nodded, although quite honestly the thought made you a bit sad. You had indeed wanted to go ahead and mark him up some more. The thought was quickly pushed to the back of your mind though, in favor of focusing on what you were actually supposed to do.

The task seemed much more difficult now that you knew he wouldn’t stop you and that your mind wasn’t buzzing with too much alcohol.

“You’re supposed to guide me, you know,” you mumbled, wrapping your arms around his neck and another chuckle escaped his lips.

“You wanted to continue from where we stopped last night, I thought you would be okay on your own with that,” he retorted. “Okay, let’s set something straight first,” he licked his lips, his eyes falling on yours for a second before he looked back up to your eyes again. “Is kissing included in this deal? We established yesterday that you are good enough at it already, so there’s no reason to include that in the lessons if you don’t want to.”

You took a moment, considering his question. On one side, he was right and it wasn’t necessary. Plus, it would make the whole thing even more intimate than it already seemed to be. Yet you kind of… wanted to include that as well. And you would probably feel more comfortable if there was something you were already used to in this whole situation. So, finally, you nodded in confirmation.

Seems like that was all he needed as a second later he crashed his lips on yours. For a moment, you were startled by the sudden intensity, yet you kissed back right away, pressing closer to him as if on instinct. He didn’t give you much time, forcing his tongue in your mouth and taking control of you almost immediately. Your fingers pushed through his hair, tugging gently. The arm around your waist tightened its grip and pulled you closer, as his free hand moved to the back of your thigh, squeezing gently.

Kissing Jaemin felt amazing. Even more so now that you were sober and entirely conscious of what was going on. Getting lost in the kiss, you nearly forgot what the real point of this was. You could spend hours more just like this, yet you remembered that “this” was not the main idea of your deal with Jaemin. Getting back to the point, you rolled your hips against his slowly, a low hum coming from the boy in response as he squeezed you harder and bucked his hips up against yours.

“Already getting hard?” you teased him, out of breath, as you pulled away from his lips just enough to be able to speak. You were tempted to go in again, yet you chose against it in favor of kissing down his jawline and lower down his neck, sucking very lightly, trying to keep up your hip movements against him at the same time.

“One of the hottest girls I have ever met literally just asked me to suck me off and is currently grinding on my dick, excuse me if I’m a little affected,” he rolled his eyes, a subtle rasp in his voice as he leaned his head back to give you more space. You felt a flutter in your chest at his compliment. You couldn’t lie, it gave you a small boost of confidence seeing him enjoy your actions so freely.

“Hope I can live up to the expectations,” you whispered against his skin, feeling him shiver slightly at the way your breath hit his skin. Once again, you were kissing down his neck and collarbones. Okay, maybe you were stalling. You were anxious to go on further than this. You tried to excuse the long time you were taking by making sure he was aroused enough to proceed but you knew that the real reason was that you were scared to go on.

“Princess, are you sure you really want to go through with this right now?” he asked breathlessly as if sensing your hesitation. “I already said that I will help, if you’re scared that I will back out by the time you feel ready-” he started but cut himself off when you got off his lap and fell to your knees. The smile you sent his way showcased much more confidence than you actually felt. Pressing his lips in a tight line, he chose to quiet down and observe you.

Carefully, ignoring the slight shaking of your fingers, you reached up and untied the knot of his sweatpants. You chose to look up at him again when you carefully tugged them down together with his underwear. Licking his lips slightly, he lifted his hips to help you, his eyes boring into yours. You let the clothing fall to the floor before finally lowering your eyes to his crotch. The sight overwhelmed you.

The reality of the situation hit you hard as the fact that for the first time in your life you were seeing a man naked (more precisely a man’s lower half), and that man was your best friend Jaemin sunk in. His dick was standing hard between his legs, the tip leaking slightly. You couldn’t objectively compare it to anything, but the size still scared you.

Jaemin gave you a few moments to collect yourself, before letting out a sigh and leaning a bit forward to cup your chin and tilt your head up so you would look at his eyes instead.

“You’re not ready for that, are you?” he asked gently, with no hint of accusation or displeasure in his voice. You gulped slowly. You wanted to go through with it, you wanted to prove that you had not been just talking big words earlier. But you couldn’t push yourself to lie. You expected him to be disappointed, but he smiled instead. “Come on, get up,” he offered.

Something in the way he seemed ready to just drop it all despite literally having you on your knees in front of him made you want to push through, so you shook your head in disagreement. He narrowed his eyebrows.

“Jaemin, I’m supposed to be learning here, how can I learn if I don’t go out of my comfort zone,” you pouted slightly.

“You literally don’t feel comfortable doing this right now,” he pointed out, raising his eyebrow. “Get up, we can do this some other time,” he insisted, yet you still refused to back down. An exasperated chuckle left his lips and he shook his head in disbelief. “Fine. Give me your hand then,” he prompted and you reached up, placing your hand in his expecting one.

Slowly, as if to give you time to change your mind, he brought it forward until both your hands were hovering over his length. His eyes looked into yours for confirmation and when you nodded slightly, he placed your hand on himself, gently wrapping your fingers around the shaft. There was a visible tightening in his body at the action and you observed curiously as he took a short breath before placing his hand on top of yours.

“We’ll leave the blowjobs for next time, okay?” he said and you nodded slightly. “For now, this will do. For both of us,” he clarified, his eyes staring into yours intensely. When you nodded in agreement, he wrapped his fingers over yours and gently tightened his hold as he started moving your hand slowly along his length.

Getting the cue, you took it upon yourself to go on and stroke him, carefully watching his expression for any changes and signs if you’re doing well or need to change something. He seemed tense, though, looking back at you as he slowly moved his hand away and left you on your own. You went for a little longer like that, experimenting slightly by tightening your grip, and were pleased when a sharp exhale escaped Jaemin’s lips, assuring you that, well, at least you weren’t doing terribly.

“You can-“ he said after a while, clearing his throat to get rid of the sudden rasp in his voice before trying again. “You can tease the tip as well if you want.” You hummed in acknowledgment, obediently moving your hand up so you could carefully rub your thumb over his head. The quiet groan that he let out put a small smile on your face so you repeated the action just so you could enjoy the way his body twitched slightly at your actions.

Little by little, you were getting more familiar with what he seemed to enjoy and what made him curse under his breath or bite his lips. You were still hesitant at times, yet by now you were getting the grasp of it. A small thought popped into your mind as you watched Jaemin close his eyes. Slowly, you leaned down and stuck your tongue out, licking the tip as you twisted your hand gently around him.

“Y/N-“ he gasped out, as he unconsciously bucked his hips up and his eyes snapped open at you in surprise. You blinked at him, faking innocence. “Didn’t we agree that-“

“I just wanted to see how you’d react,” you chuckled, biting down your smile as he glared at you. “Am I doing okay?” you asked, using the moment to make sure. Instead of replying, Jaemin scoffed and leaned down a bit to get closer to you.

“The fact that you stopped is killing me right now,” he said, his pupils dilated with lust, you noted. “Be a doll and finish me off, princess, okay?”

The words sounded more like an order than anything and you couldn’t help but gulp slightly. You had been so used to childish and bubbly Jaemin that the slight hint of dominance he showcased made your stomach twist. Having the moment to yourself, you realized just how needy you were yourself. There was no way that the situation wouldn’t affect you, yet you hadn’t really expected it would be like this.

Shifting uncomfortably in your spot, you refocused on the task at hand, meaning, Jaemin’s dick. You noted that the tip was leaking, as well as the slight tightening of the boy’s stomach when you wrapped your hand around him again and renewed your work. Resting your other hand on his thigh, you did your best to make the boy feel good. Squeezing your hand harder at times, trying to maintain a good rhythm, and it wasn’t even about the learning process anymore. You just wanted to give him the most you could right now.

Your effort didn’t go to waste as soon enough, Jaemin’s breathing got hitched, his body tensed up and before you knew it, he came all over your hand and his stomach, making a mess out of his t-shirt (that you honestly regretted keeping on him… but there was time for everything).

It took him a while to calm his breath and focus properly again, his eyes landing on you again. A small awkward smile curved his lips as he reached over to his bedside table and pulled out a pack of tissues. You reached over to get them, but he stopped you and carefully cleaned up your hand instead, as well as his stomach, before helping you up and letting you sit on the bed while he fixed his pants and went to change the t-shirt.

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, feeling how your own arousal had grown to an almost unbearable point. You could ask Jaemin to help you out, you thought… But would that be okay? The deal was to have him teach you the things you didn't know, it wasn't like he owed you any more favors. So you suppressed the idea of having Jaemin eat you out that had popped uninvited and did your best to ignore the wetness between your legs.

“Well, that was something,” he laughed when he was finally back, picking up his forgotten can and taking a large sip. You couldn’t help but notice he avoided looking at you. “You’re not at all bad, you just need to gain confidence,” he smiled at the wall behind your back and you narrowed your eyebrows.

“Nana?” you questioned, getting a hum in response. Yet he still wouldn’t look at you so you got up and walked over to him, grabbing his face gently and turning him so he wouldn’t have the option not to look at you. “You good?” you asked, scared you’d fucked up somewhere. Maybe everywhere.

“Yea, don’t worry, princess,” he smiled, a little strained, yet a blink later he went back again to beaming as usual. "Mind still going over this whole thing, y’know,” he laughed cheerfully.

You hummed quietly, choosing to believe him for now, as you smiled as well.

“Jaem,” you said, drawing a hum from him before you leaned over to peck his cheek. “Thank you for helping me,” you mumbled quietly, before pulling away from him with a grin. “Now, I remember that you promised me at the end of last year that we can watch that show I've been waiting for together and you still owe that to me.”

And with that, the tension from earlier seemed to go away, the deal buried down in both of your minds until the next time, as you made your way to the living room and curled up on the couch together with a pack of chips.

#nct #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct smut #nct dream #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream smut #nct jaemin #jaemin imagines #jaemin smut #jaemin x reader #na jaemin #na jaemin scenarios #na jaemin smut #na jaemin x reader

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etsuven · 3 years

Text

♡Smile for the Camera - pt: 1♡

genshin camboys got pretty popular at one point, so i decided to write about it

modern au genshin men as camboys, ft: childe, zhongli, kaeya

cw: bondage, childe crying from overstimulation, ooc-ish zhongli, kaeya's chapter is kind of short

i believe this ended up curing my writers block-

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

childe

-childe was normally the type of camboy who would simply jerk off and cum a few times before ending the stream.

-but he lost a bet with you (his "friend" and roommate) and he had to deviate from his usual ways.

-the friend is in quotations because the two of you have been lowkey flirting for the past few months, but you two were just in denial.

-you're practically dating at this point.

-streams are kind of inconsistent, he has work to do, so he mainly streams for stress relief

-anyways he has lots of toys. he's rich, why wouldn't he spend money on something that makes him feel good?

childe sat in front of his camera, a large smile on his face. he could see the chat moving at what looked to be miles a minute, and it wasn't hard to understand why. he was kneeling on his bed, his legs forced apart by bright red rope. the rope wove around his waist and chest in many intricate shapes and designs, and his arms were held together behind his back with some access rope.

"you guys seem a little surprised!" he spoke, chuckling softly. he moved around a bit on his knees, wincing and inhaling sharply at the feeling of something in him and around his cock. "i had a friend help me with this. i ended up losing a bet, and now i have to do something different for once."

suddenly, a hand waved at the camera. the chat began to move again, although not as quickly as it had in the beginning of the stream. "i have a cock ring on, as well as a plug in my... um..." he fidgeted, suddenly becoming shy.

"you know! anyways, my friend will be controlling the ring with their phone, and you guys will be controlling the plug with donations. just give us a few more minutes to set things up." a few minutes passed and you had finally set everything up. childe was talking to the chat to keep them entertained, but you quickly began to notice that he was becoming more and more agitated, rocking side to side on his knees.

"we should be good for now." you said, facing childe. he nodded, smiling at the camera. "see, it didn't take that long! i'll be sure to give you guys a good sh- fuck!" you laughed as childe jolted forward, almost falling flat on his face. he looked at you with a glare, his face tinted a light shade of red. "what was that for?!" you shrugged your shoulders, leaning over to turn on few things as you tried to hide your smile. "it was just a test, calm down." childe was about to protest again before noticing that a few donations had been sent. he looked at you in what looked to be slight fear before groaning softly, his back arching.

you took this as an opportunity to have a bit of fun, setting the cock ring vibrations to medium. you watched as childe began to buck against the air, struggling to decide on which feeling to chase. it was all too much...

this went on for a good hour and a half, and childe was beginning to lose focus. his head was thrown back, and his mouth was stuck in an 'o' shape. loud moans and gasps were escaping his lips, echoing through his large room. there was a steadily growing puddle of cum on his bed, which had leaked down from his stomach and thighs, as well as his cock. there were tears streaming down his face as well, which had started after he came for the third time.

"pay attention to the chat, dear." you raised the ring vibrations to its highest setting, watching as childe forced himself to look at the camera again. his eyes glanced at you every now and them, as if he wanted to tell you something. you raised your eyebrow, silently giving him permission to ask for what he wanted. he shook slightly, stuttering as he tried to speak. "g-gonna cum again! please, c-can i cum?" you nodded, watching as he slowly became unraveled, cumming for the final time.

you disconnected the setting which connected his plug to the stream, as well as turning off his cock ring. childe watched as you climbed onto the bed, brushing the wet strands of his hair off his forehead. "are you okay?" you asked, using your thumbs to wipe the tears off his cheeks. childe nodded, sniffling softly as he smiled at you. "mhm... but could you come a bit closer for a sec?..." he watched as you moved closer to him, your eyebrow raised slightly.

childe leaned up the rest of the distance once you were close enough, capturing your lips in a soft kiss. unbeknownst to the two of you, the chat was going wild. multiple comments of "this is my 'friend'" and "i knew there was something more going on," passed by.

eventually, the two of you pulled away, albeit a bit reluctantly. childe gave you another small smile, his face flushed slightly in a shade that matched well with his hair and eyes. he then looked back at the camera, saying goodbye to the viewers before giving you the signal to finally cut it off.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

zhongli

-i feel like zhongli is the type to read while touching himself

-like, he gets to talk and read about things he's interested in all while making himself feel good? honestly it's a good deal.

-he streams about once a week, maybe more if he's not busy.

-he's a pretty popular camboy, getting hundreds, if not thousands of dollars (on a good day) worth of donations.

-(he had the tendency to spend it all really quickly...)

-but it was easy to see why he got so much money. a gorgeous man with a deep and soothing voice... who wouldn't want to see a man like him break?

zhongli carefully placed the camera on the table in front of his bed, only moving to sit back down once he had gotten the perfect angle. he gave a small smile to the camera, picking up the golden book that was resting beside him as he began to read the chat. there were many messages telling him hello and asking how his day was. he answered all of them, fixing his outfit as he did so. he wasn't wearing anything extravagant. it was just a simple white button up shirt and black dress pants.

after a few minutes, zhongli finally stopped answering questions, remembering the reason why he even started the stream. "oh, i almost forgot. i have this book for today." he held up the book, it's golden color matching his eyes. "forgive me if it starts off in a weird spot, i skimmed over the first few sentences earlier today and got a bit carried away..."

he moved to the side, leaning on his arm for support. "i also wore a cock ring for today, i just bought it thanks to your donations, so hopefully i can perform well enough to make you happy." a donation came in after a second or two, causing zhongli to flinch slightly. he mumbled a bit, but it wasn't picked up by the microphone.

"now that i think about it, i should just start over... anyways, let's begin."

zhongli began to read the book, starting off where he had stopped earlier in the day. a couple of donations came in, causing the cock ring he was wearing to vibrate harshly. he doubled over, pressing his thighs together as he continued to read. a few minutes passed by, and zhongli's focus on the book steadily decreased. eventually, he began to stutter, his eyes fluttering shut every few seconds. "b-back in that day, there was a certain fishing vessel owner who was..." he began to pant softly, his cheeks flushing a bright shade of red as he struggled to speak. "who was notoriously harsh and critical in his temperament. h-he was always rude towards those who worked for him, and whenever something wasn't to his satisfaction..."

zhongli covered his mouth with his hand, muffling a rather loud moan that was caused by a particularly harsh vibration. "one day, the fishing vessel owner... w-wait, that's wrong. whenever something wasn't to his satisfaction, he would j-jump to conclusions and start scolding them, even docking their... their wages!..." the man placed his face in the book in an attempt to hide his face, moaning softly at the now constant vibrations. "i-i'm sorry, i can't!..." he set the book down, hooking his finger on his tie before quickly pulling it off and throwing it to the side.

"i-it's hot... please, please, please just a little bit more!..." zhongli placed the palm of his hand on his crotch, gently rocking against it for some sort of friction. a few more donations came in. they were rather large ones, which caused the cock ring to vibrate faster and longer.

not long after that, he came, covering his mouth with his other hand to hide his moans. he took the next few seconds to recover from his orgasm, flinching slightly every second or so. "okay... i'm going to go now..." he looked up at the camera, smiling weakly as he waved. he stood up, stumbling slightly as he walked towards the camera. "bye bye, thanks for watching..."

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

kaeya

-kaeya is def the type of person who would act out on purpose

-what a brat

-streams about twice a week

-he'll act out just to receive punishment from his viewers

-there's this one viewer who seems to be pretty fond of him though, and kaeya was pretty fond of them as well...

-they always sent him lots of money, as well as messages that caught his attention everytime they were in his chat

"you're doing so good for me..." kaeya chuckled as he caught sight of the comment, knowing that it was you thanks to the username beside it. he wrapped his hand around his cock, leaning back as he tilted his head to the side. "why thank you, (username)!" he began to slowly drag his hand up and down his cock, biting his lip as he groaned softly. he had been doing this for the past hour now, following the demands of his beloved viewers as they asked him to hold out on cumming. it was fine at first, and it was even kind of fun!

kaeya loved the feeling of chasing his orgasm only to stop and have it fade away as he attempted to catch his breath. his viewers cheered him on, calling him a good boy for holding out for so long.

but it was starting to become a bit much... he wanted to cum. hard. but would his potential punishment be worth it?

absolutely.

kaeya took a deep breath before speeding up, throwing his head back as he moaned loudly. "sorry, i can't do this anymore... i'm so, so close!" he continued at the same speed, occasionally rubbing his thumb across his tip for a little extra stimulation. he used a bit of his strength to look back at his screen, noticing that the chat was moving rather quickly. multiple comments zoomed by, but they were all a blur to kaeya. he felt himself getting closer and closer, his moans and gasps getting louder. eventually he came, and a sticky white mess eventually settled itself on his stomach and thighs.

kaeya removed his hand from his cock, trying to catch his breath. he took a finger and scooped up some of his cum from his shaking thighs, laughing softly as he glanced at the chat. "this is a lot..." a few more messages went by. "you're such a bad boy." "how dare you cum without permission" "such a brat..." kaeya laughed more, looking at the camera with a sly smile.

"are you going to punish me? that's fine, i can take it."

side note: he couldn't take it

#genshin smut #genshin impact smut #childe x reader #childe smut #zhongli x reader #zhongli smut #kaeya x reader #kaeya smut #genshin fanfic #genshin #genshin impact

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sie-rui · 3 years

Note

Hello. I’ve seen that you write angry and smiley content and I’m so happy because there is not that many ff about them. And I wanted to request if the boys had a crush on the reader. Like their a baker and in the manga the boys own a ramen shop. Sorry if I spoiled anything. But if it’s not too much thank you💕💕☺️.

❀ THE BAKER NEXT DOOR | TOKYO REVENGERS 🤍 kawata nahoya and kawata souya 💿 gender neutral, third pov (they/them), fluff, pining, au - post canon, imagine 📅 june 09, 2021 🔗 main, kawata twins as your boyfriend

the kawata twins has a little crush on the baker next door to their ramen restaurant. shy and lovesick are what they are

In the Kawata Twins' life, most are inconsistent. They're predictably unpredictable. One moment you understand them, the next not. One moment they want it, the next they hate it. The only thing consistent between the two of them is each other…

And maybe also the baker across the street, in front of their ramen shop.

Visiting the bakery every morning before they open their own shop had become a routine at this point. The bread was soft and tasty, they also sold cakes of different icings and sizes, along with macaroons that Souya loved. But the biggest reason they keep on coming back was the gorgeous baker behind the wonders.

The bakery always opened early in the morning, their ramen shop opened a few hours after. It was a quaint little place with pristine tiled floors and beautifully painted walls—sky blue and intricately drawn clouds. A few tables with chairs pushed underneath loitered around. A glass-covered display boasts some of the products right beside the counter with the cash register. Soft music played in the background to keep the atmosphere light. And only one person worked in it.

Today was no different as the rising of the sun finds both Kawata Nahoya and Kawata Souya in the very bakery as the first customers of the day—watching the center of their affection going about, preparing the displays.

"Ah, Nahoya-kun, Souya-kun, the usual?" They chime, the familiar beautiful smile on their face causing the twins' hearts to tighten just a little bit more.

Souya nods, eyes light. Nahoya grins as he waves and adds, "And tea for me, Y/n-chan!"

"You got it!"

Souya gives his brother a little side eye, brows pinched. He rolls his eyes, turning his head away as Nahoya sends a small smirk. There were no words exchanged as Y/n flitters around, preparing their usual orders to get them ready for the day.

In this little bakery with only the walls to see, the Kawata twins lead a silent battle for Y/n's attention. It's never with animosity. Sure there is a little tension but both of them knew that if the other loved Y/n more and if Y/n loved them back as well... One of them would back off. It's respect, in a way.

"Are you working on a new recipe, Y/n?" Souya brings up, standing in front of the counter side-by-side with his brother as Y/n gathers all of their orders in bags with nimble hands.

"It's a little secret," they lean in a little, catching the twins' attention as they bashfully smile. "But I've been working on a lemon-flavored treat for a while now."

"How is it?" Nahoya beams, placing an arm on the counter, on top of the cash register, to rest his chin on his palm. Souya almost does the same beside him, but on the other side.

Y/n laughs, a little shy. "To be honest, bad. It's either too sour or too sweet and I can't seem to get it right."

Souya lowers his head a little, thinking of how he can help. Noticing his growing dilemma, Y/n giggles. "Don't think about it too much, Souya-kun."

He looks away, pushing his hands into his pockets to hide the growing blush of having been caught. Nahoya laughs, already knowing what he was thinking even before he had even noticed.

"I'll work hard on it and the two of you will be the first ones to try it," they wink and goddammit Nahoya just felt his heart stop with that simple action.

He gulps, trying to hide his nervousness and wondering if anyone else could hear his deafening heartbeat. He pulls out the exact amount, passing it over to Y/n who hums in appreciation.

Souya receives the two paper bags Y/n hands to them with their usual kind smile before bidding them a great day at work.

The twins leave the bakery with small blushes and wistful thinking for the next morning to come just a little bit faster.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers smiley #smiley x reader #smiley #tokyo revengers nahoya #nahoya x reader #kawata nahoya #nahoya kawata #nahoya #tokyo revengers angry #angry x reader #angry #tokyo revengers souta #souta x reader #souta kawata #kawata souta #souta

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pirates-pirates-pirates · 2 years

Text

Complicated

Another song fic because I'm a loser and I love these flaming boys. Song is 'The Feel Good Drag' by Anberlin.

Marco x Ace Ace x Deuce TW: Age gap Modern AU N/SFW at times Chapter 1

"I'm here for you," he said, and we can stay for a while My boyfriend's gone, we can just pretend Lips that need no introduction, now who's the greater sin? Your drab eyes seem to invite (Tell me, darling) Where do we begin?

Marco wasn’t the type of man who made it his business to sleep with people who were already spoken for, but in his defence when he’d met Ace, he’d had no intention of falling for him. He could still remember how Ace looked over his shoulder at him, the place crowded, the bright lights flashing across the darkened room.

The band was playing, all he could feel was the thundering vibrations under his feet on the sticky floor and the way his heart was beating faster than he could recall. How it rattled within the confines of his ribcage, the intake of breath when a white light bathed that handsome freckled face in light, hitting behind his head.

Like a halo around the messy black hair. Ace grinned at him; a smile brighter than any spotlight that travelled across the crowd. Ace was living for this moment, jumping in place, arms above his head, waving with the sea of bodies as the song filled the room, the lyrics must have resonated with Ace because Marco could have sworn as he watched those perfect lips move in time with the song, he could hear him louder than the singer on stage.

How Ace looked, throwing himself into each and every beat, singing with all his soul. Marco hadn’t believed in love at first sight until then. He’d moved in closer, watching as deep dark eyes followed him, observing as Marco got closer, weaving in and out of the crowd.

Something had hit deep with them both as arms looped around necks, foreheads pressed together. Their bodies close, their motions wordless as the music swelled around them.

---

Marco looked down at Ace, curled against his chest with his arms around him, his eyelids closed, a smile soft and serene as he took in a breath, one eye opening to observe Marco, the smile shifting into a smirk, confidence and mischief radiating from him as he stretched, knocking his legs against Marco’s as he adjusted.

Soft afternoon sunlight warmed their bodies, covered loosely in the bedsheets. Ace reached up and stroked the stubble along Marco’s jawline, moving delicate feather-light touches across his upper lip, such a sweet action from a man who’d committed sins of the flesh moments ago.

“This is nice,” Ace sighed and traced Marco’s bottom lip until Marco held his hand in place, his fingers intertwining with Ace’s as he dotted kisses over Ace’s hand.

Marco smirked at Ace’s reaction to such a gesture. The way that smug grin was shaken, replaced with a trembling lip, eyes wide and watching the action as Marco kissed over each of his fingers, blue eyes flicked up, making eye contact, it was Marco’s turn to smirk as the blush spread across the freckled face of his lover.

“Do you wanna stay tonight?” Ace asked, his voice seeming so unsure, he watched Marco’s lips continue their journey from his hand, along his wrist, around the red and white bangle he wore and placing a firm kiss to his pulse point.

Marco could feel the flicker of inconsistency as Ace looked at him through his lashes, biting his lip as he dreaded Marco’s response, even though Marco wasn’t his partner he still feared rejection, Ace didn’t want his invention to be turned down. Ace felt Marco humming in thought, feeling the light vibration on his skin.

“What about the boyfriend yoi?”

Ace had the decency for shame to flicker in his eyes, avoiding meeting Marco’s gaze at the question, shifting in place as the sheets tangled between his legs, all things that Marco could tell was Ace at unease of his partner being brought up. They tried not to mention the other man during their encounters.

“He won’t be back for a few days..” Ace cleared his throat and shifted, sitting up as his mind started to roam, his mind dipping into the negative thoughts that lurked at the edge constantly.

“Ace, don’t worry, I won’t judge you. I don’t care what you do behind his back if it means that I get to have you to myself for a few days.” Marco joined him, leaning against the headboard, an arm working its way around Ace’s waist, pulling him to lean against him.

“Does this make me a bad person?” Ace asked, attempting to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear, the rebellious piece falling again.

“What? No, humans are complex, and feelings are complicated yoi.” Marco sighed as he dealt with the loose strand himself, the action comforting to his lover, the strand staying in place this time.

“I don’t think Deuce would agree so much.” He mumbled and placed his hands on his lap, playing with the bracelet, eyes fixed on it, his guilty thoughts desperate for the distraction of his nervous fiddling.

“That’s his name?” that was the first time Marco had a name to put to the person whose bed he was currently in.

It left a bitter taste in his mouth, more than he would like to admit. He didn’t want to be this person, he didn’t mind sharing Ace but knowing he was the other man, the dirty little secret would always hurt his heart. Shit, he really was in love with Ace.

“Y-yeah,” Ace coughed, an attempt to hide the emotion in his voice that would betray him.

“Hey, can we not talk about him? Can it just be about me and you? It’s not that I don’t love him a-and it’s not that I’m not fond of you. I just want this to be about us…”

Ace didn’t see the wince, the pained expression on Marco’s face when his words tumbled out. He didn’t feel Marco react like he’d been shocked by the blunt confession. Ace bit his lip and glanced up at Marco who’d already pushed away any telltale sign of his own emotions.

“I just wanna pretend it’s always been us.”

Marco’s half-lidded eyes searched Ace’s face, his lazy smile firmly fixed back into place as he nodded, he reached out and tilted Ace’s chin up, gazing down at him with adoration before he pressed his lips to his once more.

He couldn’t believe he was letting himself sink deeper and deeper for fond of you, but it was too late for common sense and better judgement to kick in now, he was sure he would do anything for Ace at this point.

Soft lips parted for Marco’s curious tongue as hands dug into hair, pulling at strands as the kiss deepened with an urgent passion. Time wasn’t on their side, moments fleeting and no matter how Marco wished he could grasp onto each second with Ace, it wasn’t within his power.

Maybe age hadn’t brought him the wisdom he’d hoped for. He even tried to follow his heart this time, seemed Marco needed a better compass. He was so hopelessly lost in Ace’s eyes, the feeling of his skin, the taste of his sweat, the sound of his moans.

What now?

#marace #marco x ace #marco the phoenix #portgas d. ace #portgas d ace #marcoace #ace x marco #fushichou marco #fire fist ace #deuce x ace #masked deuce

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ialwaysgobacktoit · 3 years

Note

idk how you'd write a one shot for this cause idk how to properly word it, but gwynriel being soft but in a way that almost domestic? reading books together all scrunched up together and then debating those books and their conflicting views because what's a good couple if not banter? and then agreeing to disagree, but not really because neither of their competitive asses can actually let it go

For Gwynriel Appreciation Week: Reading together

AAAAAhhhh!!! It's being some rough couple weeks, therefore I'm not as active as I wanted in terms of writing, but I'm loooving to read all your content. Gwynriel Week is awesome!

I know this is AU day, so I tried to make this as "freely" as possible, and it can (if you squint, I guess) be fitted in AU! I originally wanted to post this on day 3 (Identity) but life had other plans... Anyways, this is just a snippet, a little scene I loved to write and think about, and aaah what do l care, it's Gwynriel after all!!!!!

Hope you like my contribution to Gwynriel Week and remember, my ask is always open for prompts and ideas! <3 keep on rocking, keep on going :)

---------------

"This is absolutely ridiculous."

"What?"

Gwyn closed the book with a thud, shutting her eyes and massaging her temples in frustration: "There's no way this could actually happen. Not like this."

"Which page are you on?"

She opened her eyes and stared at him from across the couch. They were a confusion of tangled legs, sharing a blanket, lying comfortably in a C-shaped love-seat in Azriel's bedroom.

"One hundred and forty."

Azriel snorted and shook his head:

"There's still a lot of ground to cover." He said casually, returning to his copy of the novel, but that smirk on his face told Gwyn there was more.

"What do you mean?" It was her turn to ask, and she ignored how high her pitch was at the statement. "On which page are you?"

They started doing that the last couple of months, eventually borrowing two copies of the same book and reading it together. An amusing experience, especially considering how competitive both of them were. Not that they minded, anyway.

"Keep on reading." He answered, eyes darting from the page to her.

But his smirk only grew wider:

"And..." He paused, pretending to check. Gwyn saw right through him. He knew all too well in which page he was; they had the habit of tracking each other's progress: "Two hundred and thirty two."

"What?! That's impossible!" Her eyes widened "We started it yesterday, and got to the same page."

Azriel shrugged irreverently. "I'm a fast reader. And since we're on that... You should keep on reading."

Gwyn scoffed, feigning irritation. How was it possible he read so quickly already? They spent the day busy and that was only the second night both sat down to read. Unless...

"What did you do?" Her tone was accusatory. "You kept on reading after I fell asleep, was it? Or..."

He had shut down his copy now, but said nothing. Gwyn sat up straight, retreating her legs and crossing them, and ignoring the strange sensation of not having the weight of his legs against hers:

"You have read this already, haven't you?"

As he didn't respond immediately, she pressed: "Shadowsinger."

He straightened, features changing slightly as he blinked, looking at the ground.

"I knew it!" She leaned over to tap on his shoulder playfully. "I can't believe it! Why didn't you say so?"

"To be fair, Gwyn" He raised his hands in surrender "I only remembered I've already read this in the last hour. It's not like I don't have five hundred years on my back. "

She shook her head, but couldn't hide her smile.

As he watched her schooling her expression into a serious one once again, Azriel realized he didn't plan to tell her about it for two reasons. The first was that he really couldn't remember almost anything from the plot, so it wasn't that big of a deal. And the second, and that one was hidden deep within him, he didn't want the precious expression from the moment she first read the synopsis out loud to fade if he told her the truth. That excitement and pure joy only Gwyneth Berdara could express.

Besides, he was more than content in casually sitting beside her, feeling the smooth touch of her legs against his or her feet atop his knees, in comfortable silence as they both read; it almost didn't matter which book they were reading. Not that he would admit that.

Not just yet.

"Anyways" Gwyn's face was dead serious now, as she returned to the subject in question. "Since you read it, we might as well discuss it already. For Mother's sake, why did Aliana lie to Milfred?"

Azriel frowned in confusion, waving his hand for her to remind him, trying to retrieve the scene of a book he'd read over two centuries ago. "Again, Gwyn. Five hundred years on my back."

She sighed, and unconsciously fell back against the cushions, extending her legs to their previous spot. She didn't let herself dwell on how Azriel's expression softened at that, as if he'd also been missing their touch:

"They are best friends, and Aliana chose not to tell Milfred she knew about what she truly was, even if it could change the entire plot; and their entire friendship was based on trust! Cauldron, why do authors keep on doing that? She should have told her from the first time Milfred saw the Oracle."

"I can see your point" Azriel murmured after he drew on a breath, cocking his head.

"But?" Her eyes narrowed.

His expression was cautious for a moment, but when he spoke, he was assertive: "Sometimes we have to lie to the ones we love, even if it hurt us to do so."

"I'm aware of that, but that's beyond the point. It's controversial to Aliana's character. Not to say it would've probably reduced a lot of the drama and angst. They are stronger together, and this should be obvious to both of them."

They were in a dangerous territory, Azriel could feel.

Truth is a delicate matter, Shadowsinger.

His shadows coiled around his ear, whispering. He ignored them and studied Gwyn. Her copper hair in a messy braid, clad in her usual robes. The priestess he have come to call a friend. Best friend, even.

"Is it?" The corner of his mouth twitched involuntarily as she crossed her arms against her chest, and he kept on "Controversial to her character? I mean, I know that they value trust above everything, but sometimes feelings may come in the way. And that doesn't necessarily mean they are controversial, just... Flawed."

Gwyn huffed, and something about the way the Shadowsinger averted his gaze at the last word, hazel eyes flashing a glimpse of pain, urged her to talk. Or hug him. Which she wouldn't do.

Not now, at least.

She opted for the former:

"If well written, yes. It does show complexity in a character. But I haven't advanced enough so far to determine that, so... To me, right now it only screams inconsistency." She shrugged, trying to lighten the mood.

To make the brooding Spymaster smile again.

"Ah, and lack of originality, of course."

It worked.

He chuckled and grabbed his book, that frown going away and almost making Gwyn sigh with relief:

"So you should keep on reading." He nodded to her copy, that crooked smile still on his face. "To confirm your opinions, that is. Not because I've said it three times already."

It was like Azriel couldn't control himself when he actually winked at her. But he enjoyed it, almost too much.

"I guess I should. Meanwhile, let's settle on agreeing to disagree." She opened her book once again. Her eyes glinted with mischief, but her blushing cheeks gave her away.

And damn him if the thought of making her flush didn't spread his smile even further.

"Besides" She added, brows high, eyes never leaving the page "It's obvious I'm reading for this sole purpose."

"Of course you are." His answer matched the tone of her statement, and they fell into comfortable silence once again. Effortless, like they could just be around each other, without second thoughts.

But the words she said before still ringed in Azriel's ears. Were echoed by his shadows.

They are stronger together, and this should be obvious to both of them.

And as he kept his gaze on her for a moment longer, who now was absorbed by the story, he realized maybe he should start admitting some things.

#gwynriel #gwynriel week #gwynrielweek #az and gwyn reading YAY #and bantering YAY #and flirting YAY #this is kind of a multipov and i've never written this way before but i liked the overall result #hope it's clear #gwyneth berdara #gwynriel drabble? one shot? idk #post acosf #azriel #azriel x gwyn

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reikoackerman · 2 years

Text

Our happy little family

Characters: Levi x Rei (me)

Genre: Modern!au

Warnings: SFW, fluffy. Mentions of childbirth and everything kinda bloody and gross. Also very very VERY self-indulgent. Block the tags #levi x rei and #reivi to refrain from cringing. Also, I cried happy tears writing this, so I hope you all can happy cry together with me 🥺

Word count: 6k I'm very fucking sorry lol

A/N: Yes lol the day is here. Finally, you all will know the name of the last Ackerman Junior ~ ^_^ I'm tagging the loml @mrscommandersmith just because <3

Also I've obviously not given birth before so there might be some inconsistencies hahaha I'm sorry and do not mind me :') I tried not to talk too much about medical terminologies so, bear with me and enjoy the story hehe.

[03 July 2022]

It's here.

Again.

Once every 15 minutes, I keep feeling that annoying pain in my abdomen, as though I was having a very very bad cramp. Breathe in, breathe out. Calm down, Rei. You got this. I told myself. I turned to Levi who was sleeping peacefully next to me, his breathing slow and deep, a contrast to my own ragged and harsh panting. Clutching on to my watch tight, I looked at the seconds ticking by, counting till the contraction subsided.

Thirty seconds later, the cramps were gone. I quickly noted it down in my phone.

Is today the day? I wondered. Hange told us that our little princess would be due any time during the first week of July, and Levi and I have been like a bundle of nerves since then. Levi already prepared the overnight bag last week and also took the week off work, ready to drive us to the hospital whenever. I quickly got up and washed my face, making my way back to the bed before I started contracting again.

Fifteen minutes passed, and the contraction came back again stronger. Out of instinct, I grabbed Levi's hand hard, and he suddenly jumped awake.

"Mon cœur—" Levi let out a yawn mid-sentence. "What's wrong?" The sleepiness was still evident in Levi's voice. He briefly pushed himself up and saw my face covered in a light sheen of perspiration.

"L-Levi, I th-think, I think it's—" I grabbed Levi's hand tight again and closed my eyes before feeling the cramps subside. I slowly let out a long breath before looking at my husband. "I've been keeping track for the past 45 minutes. The contractions are coming at a regular interval." Levi's eyes widened as he wiped my perspiration away.

"I-I think our little princess is arriving today." I placed my free hand on my bump and gave Levi a shaky smile. Levi scrambled out of bed and went to wash up, calling his mother to meet at the hospital. I tried pushing myself up and poured myself a glass of water, dropping Mia a text to tell her what was happening. It was close to midnight, and I didn't want to wake her up since she had work tomorrow. Before my cramps came back, I quickly called Isabel as well, telling her and Farlan to come over and babysit the kids and our fur babies. I knew Levi would call Farlan and tell him the same thing too; they already have the spare keys to our house. Knowing Levi, he would have dropped Erwin and Mike a text as well.

Levi quickly gave Hange a call to tell them what was happening, and that we would reach the hospital within an hour. Another wave of cramps hit and I winced, willing myself to finish the glass of water before leaving. Levi rushed to the kitchen and took out some granola bars, dark chocolate, milo bars, and bottles of water and added them into the overnight bag. Grabbing a thick wool jacket of his that he knows I love wearing, Levi draped it across my shoulders before helping me up. Checking on the twins and Renée, Levi carried me out of the house and locked the door, a look of worry all across his face.

"Amour, calm down, I'm fine, really," I clutched onto Levi's hand while he placed me down in the passenger seat. "This is our fourth child already, relax." Funny how I'm the one about to give birth, but Levi is behaving like a lost sheep instead.

"Do I need to remind you about what Hange said? Every pregnancy is different." Levi placed the overnight bag at the rear before quickly going to the driver seat, passing me a pillow that he knows I'll definitely need. "How are you feeling?" He adjusted his mirrors before driving, interlocking my hand in his.

"Fine, for now," I closed my eyes again as another wave of contractions came. I grabbed the pillow and Levi's hand tight. When we stopped at the red light, Levi turned on the radio, tuning to the station playing classical music. Levi brought my hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to each of my knuckles as the contractions subsided again.

"Je t'aime, mon cœur," Levi whispered before driving off when the lights turned green.

"我也爱你，亲爱的。(I love you too, my darling)." I managed to smile before kissing the back of Levi's hand in return. Isabel replied my message and said she and Farlan are already at our house. Our kids are still sleeping soundly.

"You're doing so good, baby, stay strong for a while more, okay? We're reaching soon. Hange's waiting." I nodded before closing my eyes, willing myself to breathe normally especially when the contractions came back.

[04 July 2022]

It was almost 12:45am when we reached the hospital's car park. Hange worked at a Women's and Children's Hospital, and probably one of the best in the country. Renée, Pierre and Léon were all delivered by Hange and their team, and I have absolute confidence that our little princess will be in good hands.

Levi pushed a wheelchair towards the passenger door and helped me sit, grabbing the overnight bag and locking the car properly before wheeling me inside. True to what Levi said, Hange and Moblit were waiting for us. Moblit looked a little pale while Hange was smiling.

"Good day Mrs Ackerman," Hange joked while Levi scowled. "How's everything?"

"I've been having these regular contractions every 15 minutes or so, and each of them last for about 30 seconds," I muttered as Levi wheeled me ahead, Hange and Moblit walking beside us. "I've been keeping track since about 11:15pm."

"You've done really well, Rei. Now let's get you changed and comfortable, and we'll start prepping you, okay?" Hange patted my shoulder as I nodded.

"Has your water bag broke yet?" Moblit asked.

"No idea, I think so? I feel a little moist down there."

"Your water bag broke?! Why didn't you say anything in the car? I would've driven faster and—" Levi frowned and I had to calm him down again.

"I'm fine, Levi! Relax."

"Oh, please calm down Levi," Moblit quickly interrupted, scribbling on his clipboard. "Everything is under control." It's so amusing to see my usually calm and collected husband getting so flustered. Hange was laughing as well, the sight of Levi panicking must be really entertaining.

Once we reached the delivery suit, Hange's team of nurses were already on standby, greeting Levi and I cheerfully. It felt good to be in the hands of such skillful and dedicated nurses, and there was already a sense of familiarity too.

Once nurse Nifa helped me change into the gown, Levi grabbed my hand as Hange did their first round of checks. Thankfully, my water bag hasn't broke yet. The moistness I was feeling was from the mucus plug.

"You're about 3cm dilated now," Hange looked up once they're done. "You know the drill, we'll have to wait till you're about 10cm." The rest of the nurses started hooking up all the wires to the machines to monitor mine and our baby's heartbeats.

"Everything's fine. Just breathe, relax, and call us when you need anything." Hange gently pat my head as they spoke, giving Levi a nod of reassurance.

"This might be their fourth child, but I don't want anyone to be complacent, understood?" Hange spoke to their team of nurses and they all nodded. "Keep me and Dr Berner updated with Rei's progress."

"Yes, Dr Zoe!" Hange then left the delivery room as they had to check on other patients.

"About seven hours to go, then?" Levi looked at his watch. It was about 1:25am.

"It might take faster than that, Mr Ackerman," Nifa piqued. "Since it's her fourth delivery already, Mrs Ackerman might dilate faster than usual."

"I know, b-but, but then, her contractions lasted so long with the boys. I'm just—"

"Amour, it's fine. I'm fine. Relax for me, okay? Our little princess can feel it if you're nervous." I squeezed Levi's hand, smiling up at him. Levi visibly relaxed and gave me a soft kiss to my forehead.

"Mm. Do you need anything?" Levi released his grip on my hand and brought the overnight bag over. "Milo, sweets, chocolate?" Levi took out a milo bar, some sweets, and a few chocolates.

"I'm fine, Levi. I don't need anything. I just want you here." I giggled, grabbing his hand again. Levi gave me a kiss as he swiped my fringe away. He nodded and gazed at me, telling me about something funny that happened at work. Everytime I felt my contractions, Levi would whisper encouragements in my ear, gently rubbing my arm as I squirmed around.

"You're about 4cm now, Mrs Ackerman," Nifa did a quick check. "We might want to induce labour later by breaking your water bag when we get to about 6cm or so." I nodded, taking shallow breaths. Just then, Levi got a message on his phone.

"Maman's here." I nodded, urging him to go talk to Aunty Kuchel. She must be worried and nervous too. "Don't worry about me. Go spend some time with your mum." Levi seemed reluctant to leave me in the room.

"Go, don't worry." Levi sighed, muttering "I'll be quick" before going outside. Waves of contractions came and passed, each getting a little more intense. I wonder what time was it now. Levi came back later with a cup of tea in his hand and the corner of his lips looking a little dirty.

"Was the croissant good?" I giggled. Levi looked a little embarrassed. "H-how did—"

"You have some pastry crust on the corner of your lips, love," I gestured for him to come closer before kissing Levi full on the lips. "And now they're gone." Levi's face turned pink, realising that he was walking around with pastry crust on his lips, and that I just ate the crust off his lips in a room full of people.

"You're really cheerful for someone about to give birth." Levi scowled again, wiping his mouth with some tissue.

"I don't know, I'm actually feeling really excited. I can't wait to meet her." I held Levi's hand again, feeling a surge of emotions. Levi's other hand went to gently pat the bump, giving me a soft smile.

"I know. I can't wait to meet her too." I looked at Levi bashfully. Levi interlocked his fingers in mine, gently stroking my knuckles. I tried to take deep, slow breaths as the intensity of the cramps start to increase. Levi softly kissed the crease between my eyebrows. We've been married for six years and I still feel butterflies everytime he does that. It's funny how back in the day, Levi would feel embarrassed to even hold my hand. Now, Levi is actually showing me affection in a room full of people. I guess fatherhood really changed him. Or maybe, being with me changed him?

Hange came back after 3am, making a check on me again.

"You holding up okay, Rei? How's the contractions?"

"Uhh... they're getting stronger... how far am I now, Hange?"

"You're 7cm dilated now, we'll break the water bag soon to help you induce labour. How's your pain on a scale of one to 10?"

"I guess... about 6? Maybe 7?" I grimaced as I felt another wave of contractions. Levi held my hand tighter. Hange sat by the edge of the bed and began to do something to burst my water bag.

"How are you?" Levi asked me again. I nodded, adjusting my position on the bed. Levi opened a bottle of water and inserted a straw for me to drink. "Keep yourself hydrated, you're going to lose a lot of water later." I nodded again, taking sips of water as Levi opened a granola bar and tearing it into small bite-sized chunks. Our last meal was around 7pm, and I was feeling a little hungry.

"Are you sure you don't want the epidural?" Levi asked me and I firmly shook my head.

"No... I can do it, I can do this. I don't want it, Levi," I grimaced again. I didn't take any of these when I gave birth to Renée and the boys, and I definitely don't want to take them now, too.

"I don't need it, Levi." I looked at him again. Levi stared at me, until he gave me a small nod. He knew how stubborn I am sometimes, and there's no point in persuading me to do something I don't want to. Levi fed me a few more bites of the granola bar.

"What time is it now, amour?" I asked Levi after I was done eating. The contractions were getting even stronger. It was really starting to hurt. Perhaps it was time soon. Levi yawned and checked his watch.

"It's almost five soon," Levi yawned again, rubbing the sleepiness out of his eyes.

"Take a nap if you're tired." I urged him, but Levi shook his head.

"No, I'm staying awake. I want to be with you all the way," Levi gave me a small smile and drank from the cup he brought back hours ago, scrunching his face in disgust. "God, their tea sucks."

"I heard that, shorty," Hange called out as they entered again, Moblit following behind. Levi ignored them and drank some water. The contractions were getting really unbearable now, and I could feel it. Our baby wants to say hi to us soon. I started breathing a little harsher, and both Hange and Levi seemed to notice it too. Hange quickly made a check.

"Rei's about 9cm now. Everyone standby!" The nurses all went to their designated spots, some standing by the monitors, some standing next to Hange. I could feel it again. Our baby is pushing against my cervical opening. The pain got even stronger and I clutched Levi's hand tight. I tried to regulate my breathing, Levi whispering next to my ear.

Once Hange told me I was close to 10cm, Levi's usually stoic expression was long gone, he clenched my hand tightly in his as Hange kept telling me to breathe in and out.

"You're doing good, Rei, keep breathing. When I say push, push as hard as you can, hmm?" Hange called out and I grunted.

"One, two, three, push!" I tried pushing as hard as I can, hands squeezing Levi tight. I don't know how hard I'm grabbing him, but I could tell that Levi was bearing with the pain too. My face was screwed up as I pushed again with all my might once Hange told me to push. It may be my fourth time giving birth, but I'm never ever going to get used to this pain.

I don't want to give birth ever again.

Once more, Hange told me to push harder, our little princess' head was slowly getting closer.

"Good girl, mon cœur, you're doing so well. So brave, my wife," Levi repeated next to my ear, wiping my perspiration and tears. I huffed and puffed, feeling nothing but excruciating pain. Hange told me to push again and I did, mustering all my strength and pushing as hard as I can. I grit my teeth and clenched my fist, I'll brave through all these pain for our little princess.

"I can see her head, Rei, keep going! You're doing well!" Hange called out again, further encouraging me. My face was so wet, I didn't know if they were from my tears or perspiration anymore. Hange told me to push again, as hard as I can.

"C'mon, baby, you're doing so good, I'm so proud of you. Just a bit more—" Levi caressed my cheek and kissed my sweaty forehead, muttering endless words of encouragement next to me. "I love you, Rei, I love you so much. My darling, the love of my life, my Rei of sunshine. My girl, you're amazing." Even through my pain, I could tell Levi was choking up. I knew he would rather be the one in my place, to help relieve some of my pain.

I calmed myself down and brought Levi's hands to my lips to kiss them, feeling strength flow through me again. Hange kept encouraging me to push harder; they could see our little princess. I held on to Levi's hand tighter just as Levi leaned his forehead again mine, I pushed with all my might.

All was quiet for a moment, until we all heard the first cries of a newborn. Tears welled up in my eyes as I breathed and panted, looking up at Levi. We both turned to the source of crying.

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Ackerman, it's 5:10am, say hi to your baby girl." Hange was beaming as they carried our little crying princess over. She looked like a little baguette, her skin red and sticky. Her cries were crisp and clear. I quickly placed her against my chest, letting her feel my heartbeat and skin. Her cries started to soften. No matter how many times I've given birth, this moment always feels the most magical to me. The skin-to-skin contact. The mother and baby bonding. It's a special moment between our little princess and me. My baby. Our baby. Our daughter.

She's here. Our little princess is really here. My tears started falling uncontrollably as I looked up at Levi with a teary smile. Levi's eyes were moist as he gazed at me lovingly. Wiping the perspiration off my forehead, Levi pressed his lips on my sticky skin and leaned his forehead against mine again.

"I'm so proud of you, mon cœur. I love you. I love so much." Levi choked again as we wept tears of joy.

"Okay, Levi, time to cut her cord," Hange chuckled, carrying our baby girl over to a bunch of towels. Levi stared at Hange.

"Oh, come on! You've done this three times already, don't tell me you're still nervous?" Hange joked and Levi hastily wiped his tears, following Hange’s instructions even thought he probably already knew them by heart. Once Levi cut our little princess' umbilical cord, Hange briefly cleaned her up and put her on a weighing scale, taking down our baby girl's vitals and measurements. Then, Hange wrapped her in a towel before passing her back to me.

"We'll just have to wait for her placenta to flush out, and then we'll do the clean up." I hugged our little princess close to my heart again, beaming towards Levi. Her eyes slightly opened to peep at us.

"She's gorgeous. Just like you." Levi smiled as he gently stroked our little girl with his finger. "It's still too early to tell, amour. But y-yeah, she's lovely. And s-so t-tiny..." I choked up again, feeling a little lump in my throat. Hange did tell us before that our little princess is a little underweight, and I couldn't help but blame myself. Now that I'm taking a better look, our baby girl was a little tinier compared to how Renée, Pierre and Léon were when they were just born. Maybe I should have taken better care of myself, or eaten healthier food. I should've taken those prenatal vitamins consistently. Tears started falling again, but they weren't happy tears.

"Rei—mon cœur, listen. Listen to me," Levi wiped my tears and made me look at him. "Hange said she's healthy. And that's the most important, hmm? Come on now, don't cry anymore." Levi kissed me softly as he stroked my head lovingly.

"Shhh, baby, don't cry. I love you, more than anything else in this world. Always know that," Levi softly pecked our little princess. "You're my wife, my beloved, and our children's mother. You're the best." Levi smiled at me again as I blinked my tears away. I gave him a little nod, the corners of my lips turning up.

"I hate to interupt this lovely moment, Ackermans, but we have to register her name," Hange came over, writing on a clipboard. "Have you two thought of her name already?" Levi and I looked at each other and smiled before turning over to Hange.

"Charlotte Rachel Ackerman. That's her English name." Levi replied with a smile. Aunty Kuchel helped us choose her first name, she said 'Charlotte' meant 'strong' and 'free' in French. Levi and I decided on 'Rachel' together. It was a lovely name, and it was a Hebrew name, just like what all our children have, and what Levi has as well.

"And what about her Chinese name?" Hange looked at us again once they wrote down Charlotte's English name, birth date, and birth hours.

"It's 佳琪 (Jia Qi)。佳 (jia) for beautiful, and 琪 (qi) for fine jade." I told Hange. Levi repeated Charlotte's name over and over in her ear, and she peeped at us again, her tiny mouth widening just a bit. I gently patted her back, rocking her to sleep. Nifa and the rest were already done cleaning me up as well, leaving the delivery suit while Hange and Moblit remained behind.

"You've done so well, my love, I'm so proud of you." Levi stroked Charlotte's cheek again and planted a soft kiss there before kissing me on the lips.

"I love you, Rei, so so much. Thank you." Levi held back another sob as he kissed my forehead, letting his lips linger for a moment longer.

"I love you too, Levi, thank you too, for everything that you've given me." I gave him a teary smile, looking at Charlotte who was lightly snoozing. Levi kissed my forehead once more, as Moblit carried Charlotte away, giving her all her first immunisations while Levi and I just gazed at each other. Renée and Léon cried a lot during their first injections, but Charlotte was so quiet. She merely squirmed around and let out a small cry, but soon after Hange was done, Charlotte was snoozing again.

"She really is a strong little girl, just like her name. I've never met a baby who's so brave when they're given their injections," Moblit smiled as he handed Charlotte back to us. "She's already living up to her name." Levi beamed at her proudly, stroking her cheek once more.

"But she's so quiet. I remember the twins crying a lot more. Is this normal?" Levi looked at Moblit with worry.

"Don't worry Levi, she's fine, she cried a lot earlier, didn't she? Her breathing's normal." Moblit threw his gloves and washed his hands before patting Levi on the shoulder. "We'll let Rei rest here a while more before transferring her back to the normal ward." Levi thanked him and Hange before they both left. The sleepiness started to consume me, and I passed Charlotte to Levi who placed her back in her little cot. The last thing I could remember was Levi kissing me good night, and all I saw next was black.

[06 July 2022]

"We're home," Levi called out as he unlocked our door. Aunty Kuchel was sitting at the living room couch feeding Léon his porridge while Renée was playing peek-a-boo with Pierre.

"Mama! Papa!" Renée called out as she dashed towards us. Aunty Kuchel placed Léon down on the couch before coming over to us as well.

"We're home, Maman," Levi and I called out together as we removed our shoes.

"Mes coeur! Rei, my darling, come here—" Aunty Kuchel grabbed my overnight bag from Levi and guided me to the couch while I was carrying Charlotte. Renée came over to us and stared at the bundle in my arms.

"Say hi to your little sister, ma chérie," Levi smiled as he placed an arm on my shoulder. Renée looked at the both of us and her eyes went back to Charlotte.

"哈喽妹妹，我是你姐姐。(Hello, younger sister, I am your older sister)." Aunty Kuchel carried the boys over too.

"Say hi, boys!" The boys started giggling once they locked eyes with Charlotte, and they happily cooed '妹妹 (younger sister)' together. Hearing all the noise, Charlotte briefly opened her eyes for a little while, and she let out a small whine and a cute yawn. Uh oh. She's hungry.

"Guess it's time to feed her," I told Levi and he brought me back to our room. We made Levi's study room into a temporary bedroom for Aunty Kuchel because she's staying over during my post-natal recovery. We've shifted the twins' cots over to the study room too, so that we can have Charlotte in ours. Renée followed us into the bedroom cautiously.

"Mama?"

"Yes, ma chérie?"

"...... can I touch meimei?" She asked us with wide eyes. To be honest, Levi and I were initially a little worried about Renée's response to yet another younger sibling, furthermore, a younger sister. After we had the boys, Renée got so grumpy and kept throwing tantrums all the time because we could no longer have all our attention on her.

However, it seems like we were thinking too much, because the moment Renée had her eyes on Charlotte, it's like the two of them were starting to form their own special sisterly bond too. One that only the both of them will share and have.

"Come here, ma chérie," Levi called her over and Renée softly poked Charlotte's cheek. Renée even reached her face down to give Charlotte a sniff.

"Meimei smells nice," she muttered, stroking Charlotte's arm now. Levi and I laughed.

"You smelt like that too, you know."

"Really? Was I so wrinkly too?"

"Yes, of course. Now, go out and look for Grand-mère, your Mama needs to feed meimei." Levi patted her cheek and Renée skipped outside. Once Renée was playing with the boys, Levi closed the door and held Charlotte as I briefly undressed. Charlotte was beginning to cry a little louder. Levi quickly handed Charlotte to me, and I cradled her in my arms while guiding her to find my breast, hopefully to get a successful latch on my nipple. It took me a few tries, but in the end, Charlotte managed to latch on my nipple and as she started sucking, I heaved a sigh of relief and lay back on the pillow.

"Damn, my boobs hurt," I whined as I closed my eyes, dreading the countless pumping of breast milk for our baby. My boobs were already feeling so heavy and sore and it hurts.

"I'll massage them later," Levi sat down next to me after changing out of his clothes, patting my knee.

"You just want a chance to grope them, don't you? You're jealous your daughter gets to suck my nipples and you don't," I joked with Levi and he frowned.

"Who said anything about wanting to suck your nipples? I have my entire life to do it." Levi crossed his hands behind his head and leaned on his pillow too.

"I'm serious. If they're hurting, let me know, okay? I'll massage your boobs before every time you pump. I'll freeze your guasha tools and jade roller too."

"Okay okay, amour. I will." Once Charlotte had her fill, I slowly rubbed her back and coaxed her to sleep, laying her against my chest and keeping her warm. As Charlotte snoozed, Levi and I just gazed as her. I still can't believe I gave birth to this angel two days ago. Levi, I, and our four children. Our little Ackerman family seemed whole and complete now. Who would have thought that the both of us would be in this stage of our lives in just six years? It was like Levi knew what I was thinking, and he reached an arm across my shoulder and hugged me close, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek.

"I love you, mon cœur. Thank you for everything that you've given me." I merely looked up at Levi and hummed, smiling as I felt tears starting to dot my lash line. I am so not ready for those mood swings again. Levi seemed to know what I was thinking too, because he wiped those tears away and tried to stiffle his laugh.

"I am so not looking forward to your random outbursts of crying," Levi stroked Charlotte's cheek again.

"I'm not too. But it's all good. I know you'll always be there for me." I whispered, slowly patting Charlotte's back as she snoozed. "But first, let's prepare ourselves for all the visiting that's coming for us soon—" I let out a yawn, quickly making sure that I didn't accidentally scare Charlotte.

"Mm. Don't worry. I told everyone to come only at their allocated time slots." Levi whipped out his phone and started going through the 'baby visiting schedule' he planned. Erwin, Mia, and their kids will be visiting tomorrow evening, followed by Nanaba and Mike the next day. Hange and Moblit will be dropping by when they both end work, and Farlan and Isabel will visit during the weekend. Before I knew it, my eyelids closed on their own and I dozed off listening to Levi's voice, my head leaning on his bare shoulder. Levi didn't realise I fell asleep too, until I stopped replying to him. Smiling to himself, Levi adjusted my head properly, hugged me a little closer, and just like that, we drifted off to dreamland together.

It felt like we were only asleep for a second, because Levi and I were both abruptly shaken awake by Charlotte's cries.

"She's hung—" Levi let out a yawn mid-sentence and rubbed his eyes. "She's hungry again? It's been barely two hours." I undressed again and tried to get Charlotte a successful latch, and moments later Charlotte was happily enjoying her milk.

"My daughter's hungry, and I am too," I grumbled and Levi started laughing. "She's only two days old and already having such a huge appetite."

"Guess who does our little angel resemble now, huh?" Levi kissed my forehead and pushed himself out of the bed as I continued to feed Charlotte.

"I'll get Maman to cook something for us. I'm starving too." Putting on a shirt, Levi went out to tell Aunty Kuchel to cook something. She's probably already going to make some confinement food for me. Mmm, my mouth watered at the thought of eating sesame oil chicken.

Levi didn't come back after a while, even after Charlotte finished drinking her milk. While coaxing a milk-drunk Charlotte to sleep, Levi came back later with a cup full of hot red dates tea. He urged me to finish drinking it so that I wouldn't feel so lethargic. As I finished drinking, Charlotte was sleeping peacefully as well. Levi and I just remained in bed while we waited for Aunty Kuchel to be done with dinner.

The first evening with Charlotte went okay, she didn't really cry much and drank her milk well. I was thankful to have Aunty Kuchel helping me watch the twins too, as they kept playing with their food. While I made sure Charlotte was properly fed, Levi was doing the same for me too, feeding me small mouthfuls of food. Renée was a great older sister as well, helping her Grand-mère and I with the young ones. She ate her meals quietly and helped Aunty Kuchel feed Léon. I had my hands full with taking care of Charlotte, and I was glad that I had such a supportive mother-in-law and husband. Even my eldest daughter was beginning to show more of her 'big sister' side.

Once we were all done with our meals, I went back to the bedroom and started to coax Charlotte to sleep again. Levi was by my side, giving me a shoulder massage. Just then, there was a knock on our door.

"Mama?" Levi and I both turned our heads and saw Renée outside, holding her brothers on each side.

"Yes, ma chérie?" Levi ushered the children in and carried the boys onto our bed.

"Can we all sleep together on your bed tonight?" Renée asked as Pierre started crawling on our bed and Léon ran into Levi's chest. Carrying the boys on his left and right, Levi smiled and told Renée to come up too. She giggled and snuggled in between Levi and I. Instead of sticking close to her Papa, Renée shifted closer to me and started staring at Charlotte again. We both looked at each other, surprised by her behaviour.

"Who wants a bedtime story?" Levi suddenly spoke and the twins started laughing. Renée loved it when Levi read her bedtime stories. Levi was surprisingly good at story-telling, and he can even change his pitch and voice when he was changing between the characters. Levi started telling them about Goldilocks and the Three Bears, not forgetting to make things a little exaggerating to scare them too.

However, Renée was still uninterested in whatever Levi was doing and instead, she hugged me while Charlotte was still in my arms too.

"Mama, can I carry meimei?"

I hesitated for a while. Can I really trust my six-year-old with my two-day old baby? What if Renée didn't know how to carry Charlotte correctly and injured her? What if she hurt herself too? In the end, I gave Renée a smile and nodded.

"Of course you can, sweetheart. Show me how do you carry Mr Teddy?" Renée grabbed a pillow and imitated my arms, cradling the pillow pretending it was her favourite bear.

"Good job. But you must be careful, okay? Meimei is a lot heavier than Mr Teddy. You must tell Mama or Papa if your arms are aching." Renée nodded again and she placed the pillow on her lap, using it to support her arms. I slowly placed Charlotte in her arms while Levi watched. Renée groaned when she felt the weight on her arms.

"I don't like meimei anymore," Renée whined again and I quickly carried Charlotte back into my arms. "She's heavy when she's so tiny."

"You were this tiny and heavy too, ma chérie," Levi chuckled and Pierre stirred in his sleep. "Imagine how tired Mama is from carrying meimei all day." Renée kept quiet for a while and she looked like she was in deep thought.

"Mama, if you're tired, I'll massage your arms." My heart softened hearing Renée. She really is growing up and acting like a big sister now.

"What about me, hmm? My arms are aching after carrying your didi too." Levi started complaining and Renée giggled, saying that her Papa doesn't need massages because his arms are stronger. Who knew the day would come where Renée would actually talk back to Levi.

As time passed, Renée was getting sleepy too. She closed her eyes and lay down on my pillow. Levi was still carrying the boys too. And as we looked at each other again, we gently kissed our four children goodnight, before washing up and getting ready for bed too.

"And finally, we have the entire house to ourselves." Levi grumbled while we were brushing our teeth. He went to shave his stubble while I changed into my night gown. Now that our children are all asleep, I can finally pump my milk without getting disturbed.

"You were the one who said you wanted a fourth child, amour, don't forget that." I yawned and went to grab the pumps, wondering if I will be getting proper sleep. Taking my seat on the armchair next to Charlotte's cot, I attached the pumps onto my breasts and let them do their work.

"Of course I wanted another one. Look at how happy they all are." Levi came out after he was done and squeezed himself onto the armchair, draping an arm across my waist. "I didn't have siblings growing up, and neither did you. Maybe this is why I always wanted to have many children." I hummed in agreement, feeling the fatigue slowly consuming me.

"I know, amour. I feel the same too. B-but it's ju—" I let out another yawn and Levi let out a soft laughter.

"Get some sleep, baby, I'll take care of Charlotte if she wakes up." I nodded again and leaned my head on my husband's shoulder, drifting off to sleep as I felt his lips gently kissing my forehead. Levi and I are now proud parents to our four beautiful children, and no matter how tired things get, I'm sure we'll never exchange this for anything else in the world. Levi, Renée, Pierre, Léon, Charlotte, and I. Our happy little family.

Hehe yes everyone, the little princess is called Charlotte Rachel Ackerman 🥰 and yes, I'll post the meaning behind the kiddos names soon!!! I've put A LOT of thought into our children's names so please hold up and wait out for that post hehe. ALSO. Don't you all wanna know how the four Ackerman juniors look like?? Hehe.

And I know some of the things here are taking place in the 'future' lol BUT LET IT SLIDE OKAY IT'S FICTION HAHA. Lastly. I apologise for the verbal diarrhoea I know it is very long-winded and dramatic 😂

#levi x rei #reivi #self-indulgent writing #HAHAHAHAHAHAA FUCKING HELL I AM SORRY YOU ALL #just let me be crazy here ayyy :')))

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wanderingpages · 4 years

Text

All Human, Rockstar AU (Part 12). Cardan is in a band on the cusp of fame, and Jude has been there from the start. They fall fast and hard, but sometimes love just isn’t enough.

Trigger Warnings: Language, Sex, Drugs, Death (and the word ‘cunt’ sometimes I guess.)

Prologue, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, ∞ Part 13

∞

Cardan’s POV

Fallingforyou - The 1975

Penso sempre em você, she told me, and every night since, I’ve begged her to say it again and again. “Cardan,” she laughed once, “I’m butchering these words,” but hell, I’d have her butchered pronunciations tattooed phonetically if she hadn’t already vetoed the idea.

“What are you smiling by yourself for?” Liliver settles beside me, kicking her leg up on the table in front of the sofa I’m currently on. “Jude?” she rolls her eyes, but her grin is huge, teasing, as she bumps her shoulders against mine.

“Shut up,” I nudge her back, but now that I’ve been taken out of the moment, I’m feeling the sudden spike of my heartbeat and the growing heat accumulating at the palm of my hands. I get up from my spot, feeling jittery now that I’m so very hyper-aware of my surroundings. It’s one thing to play live, it’s completely different for it to be a televised event.

“Huh,” Liliver says, “Bass players do it deeper.”

I close my eyes in partial embarrassment and my face heats up pretty drastically. The black shirt with the bold white lettering on the back is what Jude had bought me for Christmas and is my current attire, only because somehow, maybe between her soft giggles when she had been under my sheets and the bright glint in her teasing eyes when she made me model the shirt, she had managed to convince me to wear it for tonight.

Larkin pauses his inconsistent strumming of a guitar to turn and face me from where he’s seated in front of a vanity, in the small dressing room Randalin had managed to get for us. Besides the four of us in the band, there are a few women around, holding clipboards and headsets, dusting powders and glitters on to our faces, talking rapid fire into their walkies and trying their best to accommodate our diva-like needs. I hadn’t thought I had any until I very nonchalantly asked for only red Skittles. The sudden silence from Larkin makes the whole room feel stuffier – even after we had gotten a small reprise from Randalin checking out to smoke.

Larkin blinks at me, a very confused look on his face. “But you’re a virgin,” he points out. “Right? I feel like, since we’re best friends, I would have technically felt it – like a cataclysm in the universe that is my soul – the moment you popped your cherry.” While I want to shrivel up and die, there is the slightest part of me that’s relieved at Larkin slowly returning to his former, less gloomy self.

“Oh my god,” I groan out.

Van takes a bite out of his banana. I don’t know how or when he’s gotten it, but there it is, in his hand and he points the bitten off tip towards Larkin, “You’re thinking of twin telepathy.” He plops down next to his girl, tugging her from her spot and on to his lap.

Van offers her a bite of his banana. There’s euphemism there I don’t wish to dwell on. Liliver waves him off. “Well,” She points out and I know she’s coming to my rescue with her next words, but I really wish she’d just shut up. “You can finger pretty deep. Or tongue? You know, dick game doesn’t have to be all genius just yet – am I right, ladies?” The few ladies who are mulling about our dressing room make a few noncommittal noises and I very much would like to be swallowed up by a black hole.

“Do you think twin telepathy is even real?” Van wonders out loud before taking another bite, diverting the attention, sending a wink my way. Somehow, with a banana in his mouth, I can’t really take his save too seriously.

“Yes,” Larkin and I say in response. I turn to raise an eyebrow at him and Liliver makes a noise of intrigue, no doubt her thoughts running along with mine about our Larkin’s musings with Taryn. Larkin shrugs, returning to his absent playing, though his cheeks do seem to glow pink.

The phone in my pocket buzzes and I’m granted just the slimmest reprieve when I see a good luck message from Jude. My smile returns almost instantly, but still, the nerves wracking through me is only just that much more bearable. I don’t even think about it when I press the call button next to her name.

“Cardan,” she says, and I hear the goofy smile in her voice. I grin back when she laughs and says, “Rockstar, how are you calling me right now?” I hear her sisters in the background, also offering their enthusiasm for what Serpent Gold is about to do.

“What do you mean?” I lean against the wall, and Larkin catches my eyes in the mirror. He darts his eyes to the phone in my hand then wiggles his brows at me until I have to look away.

“Serpent Gold is set to perform in the next minute.”

“You sound like an announcer,” I tell her.

“You like my impersonation? I can do sports commentary, too.”

“No, you can’t,” I tell her fondly.

“Okay, but I can try,” she hums in thought then says, “Ball in the end-zone, knockout, three pointer, goal, umm,” she trails off.

“Score,” I offer.

“Exactly,” she says this as if a point has been proven. Just then, one of the women in our room is walking towards the door, holding it open as she begins to usher us out. Another woman lets out startled squeak, taking a pallet of gold looking powder and hurriedly brushing it on to my cheeks just as Van comes over to drape an arm over my shoulder.

“Gotta go, baby,” I say into the phone, eyes finding Randalin by the exit, patting Larkin on the back. Liliver gives him a high-five, but Van narrowly misses a fist bump and I only manage to get an awkward fumble of a squeeze on my shoulder. It truly does seem like an absentee dad suddenly showing up for graduation or something. I hide my grimace, but Van doesn’t hold in his scoff.

“Break a leg and stuff,” Jude calls into the phone.

“Dork,” I tell her too tenderly before hanging up. In front of Van and I, Liliver has an arm looped around Larkin’s, the two of them leading the way on to the stage. It’s fairly dark, but I still manage to make out of few faces as we get into our rehearsed set up.

Larkin adjusts his mic stand then changes his mind about something and moves closer to me. He grabs hold of my shoulders suddenly and squeezes them, “Hey,” he says, only for me to hear. “You got this, okay – we got this!” I nod but my voice has disappeared from me. I’m hardly the star of this show, but I’m more shaken than Larkin. After all the time with Jude’s camera in my face, I should probably be used to the notion, yet when I glance to where some famous celebrity is introducing our band, the camera in front of her that slowly pans to the stage has my knees shaking. “Do you want me to kiss you?”

“Huh?” I tear my gaze from the camera to my best friend. “What?”

He puckers his lips and leans forward. I instinctively lean back. “Dude,” I say, pressing my fingers to his mouth and pushing him away from me. He laughs and lets go of his hold on me.

“Alright, next time,” he concedes, “when your girl isn’t looking.” He’s teasing, but –

“What?”

He tilts his head and I follow the inclination to the spot closest to the stage without being for a hired personnel. Jude’s beside her sisters this time around, no camera, but a phone instead. It’s nothing like the day we first met, yet it feels absolutely the same. This time, though, she isn’t just the pretty girl at my step-dad’s bar filming my band. And it’s not like that first concert we had with DeathSweet when I wanted so badly to see her in the crowd but had been too chicken shit to ask her – and unbeknownst to me, she was there anyways. It’s not like when it was her and my sister backstage either. There’s nothing unsure about us this time around.

I take her in with bated breaths as she brings her hand up and gives me a small wave. When it was just the two of dancing in her parents’ living room, it feels nearly similar when our eyes lock tonight. I’m so fucking gone for her, I’d be embarrassed if I weren’t so relieved to see her. I vaguely mimic her in response, but my eyes are trailing her body like I’ve never laid eyes on her before.

And I haven’t, not like this – not all dressed up in a shimmering gold, looking more starlet than the actual celebrities here. “Holy shit,” I must have said out loud.

Larkin lets out whistle as he backs away towards his new spot. “Should we dedicate Lady in Gold to her?” he doesn’t wait for me to respond, just turns to the crowd to wish everyone a happy new year. “This one is for…” he searches the crowd, almost dramatically, before finding my girl. She pulls her phone down, head tilted, golden hoops in her ears dangle and glint. She points to herself in confusion when Larkin says, “This one is for you.” The crowd cheers at this but my mouth is dry as I focus on Jude. Her sisters are pretty in black and silver, but Jude steals all my fucking breath and then some. She grins so bright, no longer looking at our lead singer, but to me instead.

The song is old, but it’s one we’ve been playing since we first learned how to pen lyrics – had that only been a handful of years ago? It’s come to be a fan favorite, yet I’m still surprised when the chorus hits, and though my vocals are a hum in the background, Larkin takes a step back and the crowd is still singing our words. Maybe because I’m focused on her, but I swear I can pick Jude’s voice from the crowd, singing about a woman who shines so bright that even the stars get jealous.

Larkin is still on his last few notes when I’m already tugging the instrument off of me and crossing the stage, hopping down from the platform and into Jude’s arms. “You made it,” I tell her, lips to her ears as I crush her body to mine. I feel my heart pound in my chest, feel hers just as wild and reckless. The crowd cheering could be for us, for the minute countdown, for the fucking queen of England, I don’t fucking care. I pull away to look at her, hair done up in a high ponytail, eyes smoked out, and lips a dark red that has heat rushing through me.

She beams at me, a finger going under my eye, pulling away to catch gold glistening from her fingertips. “You thought I wouldn’t?” The three tickets had been my Christmas gift to her, but we never had the chance to even talk about the logistics of it. Rushed phone calls and chaotic schedules interfered with my brain power to ask even the simplest of questions, like if I’d be seeing her before the year ends. “Dork,” she sticks her tongue out at me, most likely guessing my thoughts.

I take a step back to take her in, the gold sequenced dress that hugs all her curves and stops mid-thigh, the jarring slit at the side that goes dangerously high, the combat boots that shouldn’t be so fucking endearing, but fuck me if it isn’t. “Did I over-do it?” she looks bashful now, a hand coming to her arm, and it’s then that I see the black arm band I had picked from her old jewelry collection some time ago – the one shaped like a snake with topaz for eyes. I could almost laugh because she’s the prettiest fucking groupie I’ve ever seen. Instead, I take her face into the palm of my hands and bring her in for a kiss. Her hands fall against my chest, then her fingers are gripping the material of my shirt, pulling me closer.

I think I hear someone clear their throat, Taryn or Vivienne, but Jude’s tongue is in my mouth, playing with that silver metal ball like she likes to do, and my hands are on her back and hip, pressing her against me until it feels almost unbearable. A countdown starts, and Jude only pulls away to breathe. Her lips brush mine, and I sneak in a quick tug to her bottom lip. I almost don’t hear when she says, “You taste like Skittles.” I grin and claim her mouth again, her lack of breaths just a fuel to my ego at this point.

“Happy New Year,” I tell her when I pull away and watch her eyes widen in surprise.

“I missed the countdown,” she murmurs, “Shoot,” she blinks, eyes a little dazed and lips all twitchy like she’s forcing down a smile.

“Oh,” Taryn says sarcastically, and I have to force my gaze to her. She’s got an eyebrow raised and arms folded. “So, you do come up for air,” she says dryly. She’s dressed similarly too Jude, but her dress is silver and somehow more modest in the way it slinks and drapes over her, held by two thin straps around her neck.

I grin at her, “Happy New Year, Ryn.”

She rolls her eyes but comes in for a hug. She’s slightly taller and I realize she’s wearing heels, belatedly. She pulls away and waves at someone behind me, “Oh, Lark is waving me over,” she says. She’s barely walked a few feet when Vivienne arrives next, handing Jude and I each a flute of champagne.

“Holy shit we made it past another year,” she muses, downing her glass. “Thanks for the invite, by the way,” she tells me and I wave her off despite the blush rising from my neck. I had debated inviting my sisters to this one, in all honesty, not knowing how Caelia would feel with Larkin and Taryn about, and unsure of the current standing relationship between Rhyia and Vivienne. In the end, it had been Caelia who covered for me and stated that us performing only one song didn’t warrant the whole family here. After talking to Jude’s aunt, we figured Taryn should be able to see her new best friend, Larkin, and Vivienne would act as chauffer.

Said older sister is smiling and drinking now, but as much as I’ve spent with her, I’m a little surprised that I can see her tells. She’s putting on a show and silently begging us not to ask. We chat for a bit, mingle with familiar people, rub elbows and such. I note Taryn with Larkin and Liliver and Van, and later, Vivienne tells us, seemingly relieved that she finally found a precise moment to, “I’m heading back to the hotel, looks like I'm getting too old for these kinds of things. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She gives us an exaggerated wink, but Jude begs her to text when she makes it in safe.

My brows furrow, “Where’d you even put your phone?”

“Would you believe me if I told you this dress has pockets?”

“I guess I’d have no choice. Your sisters okay?”

She glances at Taryn who’s laughing at something Van has said and then to Vivienne who’s ducking out the exit. “I don’t know,” she confesses. “But I think they will be.” She takes my hands in hers, walking back as she leads me somewhere out of the crowd.

There’s an after party at some mansion in the hills, some gated community with three different access points and when I tell Jude the name of the host, she’s got absolute stars in her eyes, repeating the name slowly like she’s in a trance. “Should I be concerned?” I ask into her ears. We’re pressed toward the back of the studio, now, some secluded corner where the bright lights barely reach us. I have her pinned to the wall, fingers interlaced to the sides of her head, my legs slotted between hers, her every breath causing her breasts to brush against the fabric of my shirt and I’m so well aware of all the things she’s not wearing.

“Do you know who Nicnevin is?” I think the gold on my cheeks came from a palette with her name on it but I don’t get to tell Jude this. “Cardan, I am wearing the lipstick she made – I'm wearing the eye shadow too – she’s my goth beauty queen makeup guru CEO role model.” I glance down at her dark red lips, enticed to bite it, just to mess up the lipstick. “Not a single smudge,” Jude tells me and when my eyes meet hers, her look is knowing. “Go ahead, try to mess it up. I dare you.”

I bend down, deliberately swiping the ball of my piercing across the swell of her bottom lip. Her breath hitches but she’s still on about Nicnevin this and Nicnevin that. I hadn’t even realized Jude was into make-up like that. This is the first time I’ve seen her done up and still it’s all subtle save for her siren lips.

“You really want to go? I don’t think we’d even meet her,” I tell her, trying not to bring her hopes up. Any other day, maybe I would be keen on the idea, but it’s not just the thought of being in a mansion with several celebrities and influencers sharing their drug habits with each other, not an intense imagining of Jude popping molly or snorting lines, not even the inevitable orgy bound to happen if Liliver’s outspoken annoyance at the offer had explained, but more because I’m so incredibly selfish and I want Jude all to myself.

However, if it’s a Project X type party my girl wants to experience, I’d be her guide. “I really want to meet her,” Jude admits, fingers squeezing mine slightly, a glint in her eyes showing her excitement. “But the timing is probably all off, huh?” She shrugs, then stands on her tip toes, and her nose caresses the side of mine, “Convince me I should be doing something else.”

I bring her wrists to one hand, keeping them steady above her head and she looks up with me with these excited hazy eyes. My free hand finds her hips after trailing a finger up that peak of skin slicing up her thigh. “Have I told you how much I love this dress on you?” She shakes her head. “And these boots,” I tap at one with the toe of my sneakers. “You look like a princess.”

Her eyebrows lift and I nearly don’t hear her when a new song starts with heavy bass distortions that vibrate down to the wall Jude’s pressed against. “I don’t think princesses wear dresses like these.”

“My kind does.”

She sticks her tongue out and crosses her eyes upward. I laugh, but continue, instead of swiping my tongue along hers like I really want to. “And god, those lips. Remind me to send Nicnevin a thank you note.”

She rolls her eyes, “You’re corny. Tell me what you really want to say, Rockstar. Touch my legs and kiss my neck like you want to - like I want you to.” I tap the barbell against the back of my teeth trying to hold the smirk back. Jude’s always so sure of what she wants from me, always in control until she decides she wants to hand over the reigns.

My hand around her wrists tighten instinctively, and fingers smooth down her hips and then up her thighs, beneath the dress this time, silky smooth skin reacting to my calloused fingers when I feel the goosebumps rise. She bites at her lips and I know what she wants to hear, so I tell her, “I want those red lips wrapped around my cock, then I want those boots tossed over my shoulders, slinky dress tangled up in your arms, and your eyes on mine as I fuck you.” She sucks in a breath, not sharp, but a slow inhale that tightens her chest and I know she’s stopped breathing when I never feel that exhale. Her eyes are blown out and the fingers on her thigh skim to the back of her leg, hiking it over my own. I press deeper against her, and her hands spasm beneath my hold and her head falls back against the wall. I kiss her neck when I tell her, “So deep inside of you and you’re saying baby don’t stop.” Her pulse pounds beneath my lips and when I swipe my tongue over her skin, I taste that edible vanilla perfume on her. “Baby, breathe.”

She lets loose a shaky breath, body arching closer to me. “What if I want it rough? If I ask you to go harder?” Her voice is so husky, it sends blood rushing through me. I pin my hips against hers until I feel her bones against mine and she lets out a groan. “Oh god,” she whimpers, a slow gyration of her hot center against me.

“Just so you could make me feel guilty later?” I tease, “Tell me how sore your pretty cunt feels in the morning?”

“You’ll make me feel better,” she whispers, eyes rolling back. She murmurs, “You’ll sit me on your lap and rub my clit until I'm all wet again. Oh, Cardan.” My name is a breath on her lips. “Do you ever think of that? Animalistic until I’m begging you to go slow, begging to feel every inch of you?”

“You know I do,” Part of me is very much willing to let her come right here against this wall, but I’m still so aware of my peers that are hardly paying attention to us – and probably won’t be until Jude’s screaming my name like I so desperately can’t help but want her to. “But if you really want to go to that party, I can wait.”

She closes her eyes almost in defeat and admits, “You’re good.” She wiggles her hands, “Can I touch you?” I let go of my hold on her, bracing my palms on the wall while Jude steadies one hand on my shoulder, the other to the side of my face. Her gyrations have stopped but she’s still pressed up against me. “Do you think about that a lot? I mean, me, like that?” Doesn’t she know I’ve had every possible scenario of being buried so deep in her thought out that its almost embarrassing? Every position, every tempo, every mood.

I roll my hip against hers, watching her struggle to maintain composure. “I think you already know the answer, princess.”

Her cheeks flush, “I mean…me,” She emphasizes. “Of course, you’ve thought about sex, but me, Cardan; do you ever picture me?”

“Yes,” I make sure I have her eyes when I tell her. “It’s always you.” How could there be anyone else? “You’re all I need.” She gives me this wide-eyed blink then grabs me by the back of my neck, pulling me in for a kiss. We’re locked in each other, slow kisses that turn into chaste ones, that turn into my lips against her neck or her teeth nipping just beneath my ear. My lips are swollen and rubbed raw by the time I feel a tap against my back. I turn, Jude’s hands now in mine, her head falling on to my shoulder, either fighting sleep or embarrassment. “Larkin,” I narrow my eyes at his face, cloudy eyes off of something, but lopsided grin over my very public display.

“How many blogs are you betting is posting you two necking each other tomorrow?” He wiggles his brows and laughs but I roll my eyes because I doubt anyone would care at this point.

“I thought there were no cameras allowed,” Jude mumbles hoarsely. I don’t think Larkin hears her as she’s muffled her words into my shirt. She peaks an eye at him, “When did you get that tattoo on your face?”

He just grins at her. “We’re leaving, come on,” he insists, grabbing both of our hands. Any thoughts of having Jude to myself is short lived by the time we all reach the apartment, because somehow, there’s already a group of people there. It makes me incredibly uneasy, seeing as the only four people with the keys are the four who’s just arrived. I suppose Randalin also has keys but I don’t understand how a house party we’ll probably get evicted for is any sort of help to our manager.

Jude sneezes upon entering the hazy living room and without thinking I pull my sleeve over my hand and wipe at her nose. Liliver snorts at this but Larkin makes a face, “Dude, you have snot all over your hand now.”

“Oh my god,” Jude cries out covering her face, “Cardan, that was gross.”

“I had my mouth all over your -” her wide eyes makes me rethink my sentence and I settle on, “ – mouth.” I grin boyishly and take hold of her hand, as we enter further into the apartment.

“Um, is no one going to address this party?” Taryn asks this when Van leads us to the kitchen where there’s considerably less people. He opens the fridge to hand us each a bottle of some electrolyte filled juice.

“Randy,” Larkin mutters, coming to the same conclusion as I did. He leans against the bar that separates the kitchen and the living room, resting his elbows on the granite. Jude yawns and leans most of her weight on me while I brace against the kitchen counter. Taryn hops up and takes a seat on the other side of me, swinging her legs back and forth until Larkin catches a heeled foot almost absently. The kitchen is a narrow fit for the six of us, but it isn’t uncomfortable. “I guess the bright side is, we know every face here,” He points out, and now that I look, I do see sound technicians, old roadies, a few producers and…I have to blink a few times to actually see properly.

“Did Locke just snort a line off our coffee table?”

Liliver frowns at her perch on the windowsill, and Jude and Taryn turn to peak over Larkin’s shoulder. I have to hold Jude in place because she seems just a bit unsteady – not drunk, just tired. “What the hell are they doing here?” Liliver crosses her arms over her chest and slumps back against the window. “You’d think they’d have a far better party to be at. Like Nicnevin’s or someone else at the hills.”

“You’d think,” Van echoes dryly, leaning against the fridge.

Even Larkin scowls at them – Nicasia sitting on Valerian’s lap, Yorn and Edir among groupies I recognize from the tour and Locke lighting a pre-rolled joint he’s pulled from behind his ear. “I thought they didn’t want anything to do with us sellouts or something?”

“Oh?” Jude bends her head back to look up at me. I look down and can’t help but peck her nose. “I thought that was a rumor,” she murmurs.

“Shit,” Van says, “There’s rumors going on about it?”

Taryn shrugs, “I think I saw something on social media, but I didn’t think it was true, seeing as you guys were all together just a couple of months ago, right?” she faces forward again, glancing at them before back to the five of us.

Jude grimaces, “But if you guys are beefing then…why are they here? Smoking in your apartment no less.”

“Did you just say beefing?” Larkin asks, startled, then snorts. “Sometimes I forget you and Taryn are identical twins, then you go and say shit like that.”

Taryn scowls, “What do you mean ‘shit like that’? Catch up with the lingo, gramps.”

“Kind of annoying how much of you guys can tell us apart,” Jude pouts. “How are we ever supposed to go all Parent Trap on you guys?” I don’t point out Taryn’s hair is much darker than hers at the moment and has been since the day we met.

Liliver chuckles, “Actually, Locke is beefing with Roiben, sort of. I think Nicasia said something to Kaye that wasn’t received well. Roiben pretty much just sat back and watched his girl do her own damage control as in a punch to her face and now Locke’s got a complex because Roiben is so unbothered by his online retaliation.” Liliver shakes her head, “It’s stupid.”

“So, in essence, by association with Roiben, we’re sell outs,” I explain.

“Shit is wack,” Taryn comments.

It’s silent for a beat then, “Let’s go smoke with them,” Van says. And we all look at him like he’s already ten types of high. “I want a hit and what are they gonna do? Randy manages them too, you know. Maybe this is his way of keeping the peace. At least they haven’t completely trashed the place yet.”

Larkin sighs, “Oh, these little shits are either paying a fee before leaving or cleaning up this mess.” He calls over a roadie we’ve known, a bigger guy, scary looking if we didn’t know he has the personality of a teddy bear.

“What’s up, Lark? Happy new year, guys.” He greets us all and Jude even smiles sweetly at him while Taryn gives him a small wave.

“Man the door. No one leaves without paying. You pick the fee, I trust your judgment. Money or labor only, no drugs or likewise paraphernalia.” He nods with a disbelieving sort of grin, but mostly eager.

“Whoa,” Jude says. “Damn, Larkin, that was kind of hot.” I cover her mouth with my hand, and she giggles but tries to bat me away.

“I think that was supposed to be my line,” Taryn mumbles, so quietly I probably wouldn’t have heard her if she weren’t right beside me. She wiggles her toes on the foot still being held by Larkin. Instead of letting go, Larkin only unzips the back of it and slides it off. He gestures for the other foot and she kicks it out without a second thought.

“Are your feet not hurting?”

“Dying here,” she admits to him with a cheesy smile.

“You’re a menace,” I mumble when Jude licks my hand. I pull my hand away but Jude manages to catch a finger with her teeth. Her tongue traces a line up to the tip before leaning away from it. “Gross,” I tease.

“Erotic,” Liliver glances between the four of us, amused. She catches my gaze and gives me a wink before turning to crack the kitchen window open, as the small apartment is already a hot box from whatever other previously smoked residual smog is in the air.

“You guys have LED lights,” Jude points out when we lead her and her sister to the living room. She notices the colors changing in tandem with the bass of whatever song is being played. Some R&B pop track about smoking and drinking that seems fitting. “You guys are so corny.”

Taryn snorts, leaning against her sister as she tries hard not to laugh at her own joke. “Got the crib looking like a Magcon house.”

“Crib,” Larkin repeats in disbelief with a grin.

“Magcon,” Van scoffs, glancing at the LED lights and nodding in a disappointed sort of acceptance.

Jude starts to crack up too, “So corny with that illuminati shit,” she sings and her and her sister struggle to hold each other up at this point.

Larkin raises his eyebrows at them then me. “What are they on?” he mouths, grabbing hold of Taryn by her shoulders, her heels dangling by the straps still in his one hand. I let Jude lean on me and I realize that yeah, they’re a little susceptible to the second hand, combined with maybe some jetlag and the time of night – Jude and Taryn are on something else.

Larkin settles in between a groupie and the drummer of DeathSweet, dropping the heels somewhere behind the sofa and dragging Taryn along who hesitates for a moment before dropping on the floor between his legs, Van takes a seat on the floor just opposite them, pulling Liliver in the space in front of him, bracketing his thighs around her body. Someone leaves their spot on the recliner and I sit Jude down on it before sinking down on the floor in front of her. Her knees part for me and my head lolls against her thigh, her fingers weaving into my hair automatically. Locke smiles at us, “The hosts have finally arrived.” He glances at my girlfriend then at her sister. “Well shit,” he grins, “very next level of you two.”

Taryn frowns, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just teasing, is all – like old times. At least they’re not sharing a girl yet, but they’re getting there, right?” Larkin ignores him, resting his palms on Taryn’s shoulder to ease her back. He bends down and whispers something in her ears.

“Shut the hell up,” Liliver rolls her eyes, frown on her face. “Pass the joint or go home.”

Locke chuckles, as does most of the group, but those of us that count are well aware that Liliver is serious and is only humoring them because of Van. I glance up to Jude, gauging her reaction to all of this. She seems mostly complacent and if a flicker of unease passes her features, when she looks down at me, she smiles sincerely. The smoke around her makes her seem unreal. She’s so pretty among the haze. I remember why I want everyone out of my place so badly. Everyone but her.

“Happy New Year, rockstars,” Nicasia says sweetly, very much letting us know she remembers Jude. Maybe whatever is in the air is actually more potent than I originally thought because I’d never do this otherwise, but I manage to flip her off before Van reaches over and hands me the roll. Nicasia laughs, tossing her blue hair back. Although she’s on his lap, Valerian looks as if he’s trying his hardest not to touch her at all. Weird couple. They make my eyes peer over to Locke, a retort to the comment on sharing at the tip of my tongue but I hold it back.

“I see you got your nose fixed,” Liliver says. Taryn coughs, catching that bit. It may sound like a jab, but Liliver says it so mater-of-fact. “Your surgeon did a good job.” I can’t help but laugh as I inhale the smoke. It causes me to cough and I’m still half in fits as I pass the joint to Jude. She takes it nimbly and I'm aware, too late, that maybe Jude hasn’t smoked before.

“Hey,” I say, quietly to her, but it’s clear most eyes are already on us due to the fact that she hasn’t lifted the stick to her lips yet. She looks down at it between her fingers with wide, curious, and anxious eyes. I twist my torso and reach an arm back to rub at her spine, “You don’t have to,” I tell her. She flicks her gaze to me, then past me, her cheeks turning red.

“Aw,” Locke says, and God, do I ever want to punch him. Kaye used to be a fitness trainer, I’m surprised she didn’t really go for the kill on Nicasia, but I know I wouldn’t hold back with Locke if I had the chance. Nicasia’s surgeon wouldn’t be able to fix that nose. Strange how violent my tendencies towards him have gotten over the months. “That’s adorable. Really fucking cute,” he laughs, pulling a girl down to his lap. She giggles and he kisses her neck in short quick succession, but his blown out eyes stay on Jude.

Surprisingly, Valerian reaches out and kicks his knee. “Fuck off. If she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t have to.” Then to Jude, he says, “But please keep it moving sometime.”

She hands it over to Edir, smiling faintly at him, if not a little embarrassed, “Maybe next time,” she decides.

“My baby’s got baby lungs,” Taryn sighs, more loud than she probably realizes. “She’s the baby sister, by the way, did you know?”

“Now we all know, honey,” Larkin says dryly.

I grimace, ignoring them to face Jude, “You don’t have to prove anything, Jude. Forget about them.”

She smiles faintly at me, but I can tell she isn’t quite heeding my words. Larkin also passes, but Taryn tries a hit, only coughing slightly. The girl on top of Locke sinks down to her knees on to the floor and shuffles over to the coffee table. I scowl when she pulls out a credit card and a bag of white powder Locke had handed to her.

Liliver frowns, “Dude, go snort that shit somewhere else.” She goes ignored and Liliver slumps against Van, instead of saying what she probably really wants to, closing her eyes in annoyance. By the time the girl has three straight lines and a rolled up bill at her nose, the joint is being handed back to me.

Jude bends down, her lips to my ears, “I want to try,” she says. For a moment I think she’s talking about the dope on the table, but when I realize she means the weed I nod and hand it to her. She hesitates again, but this time no one is really paying attention. I take it back from her and hold her cheek with my free hand.

“I have an idea. Do you trust me?” She nods slowly, down for whatever I do. I pull in a breath of smoke, careful not to inhale. I press my thumb against her lips, parting them with a slow stroke and gradually release a stream of smoke into her open mouth. She inhales, her eyelids fluttering, the joint is plucked out of my hands, but my lips are already touching hers. How the fuck does she still manage to taste like candy?

“You have candy in your pockets,” I accuse, when I pull away from her, smoke fogging around us. She grins a little bashfully and reaches into that magical pocket of hers to pull out three cherry flavored candies and a blue-raspberry one. I take one of them, toss the blue one to Taryn, then one to Larkin and Van. Liliver is already half asleep. She peeks an eye open but twists her body to snuggle into Van before promptly knocking out. Jude rests her head on the arm rest and continues her massage on my scalp. When she yawns for the third time in a row, I’m up and pulling her with me.

I glance around, though dwindling, there’s still a hefty amount of people here. Larkin catches my eyes and waves me off. “I got it,” he promises, glancing down at Taryn whose head is on his lap as she looks up at the ever-changing lights on our ceiling.

“Hey,” Taryn murmurs, “Have you ever met that guy who became a singer who was from Magcon? His special power is making everyone forget he was in Magcon. What does Magcon even stand for?”

“Meet and Greet convention,” Edir tells her.

“What?” Her eyes go wide, “Dude, what the fuck?”

Jude leans against me and raises her head to look up at me. Her glossy eyes are reddened from strain and her smile is so lazy and coy, it makes me wonder what she’s thinking. “What?” she murmurs.

I lead her closer to me by the base of her back. I lean down, brushing stray hairs from her face. My smile feels as wry as hers must look. “When the smoke is in your eyes,” I murmur, “you look so alive.”

She giggles. “Silly. Where are you taking me?”

“To bed?”

She shakes her head, “No.”

“No?”

“Nuh uh,” she says, leading me now, away from our friends, towards the door. I let her walk me back the way we came from until we’re outside of the high-rise. She breathes in the fresh air and looks up at the sky.

“Where were you planning on going?”

“I don’t know,” she admits. “But I don’t want tonight to end yet.”

∞

@cute898, @monawa, @afexiss, @somebodysqueen, @nish247, @andromeddea, @avenrebekah, @gamer670, @daddycardan, @outofstyles13, @vi0let-femmes, @babyillyrian @queenofdorkville, @courtofmadness, @queengreenbriar, @stormymeow,@goldbooksblack, @littlemergirl4779, @lalunaswhisperer, @archerons-arrow, @illyrianundercover, @atla-lok143, @fangirlinghard-spoilerson, @soup-that-is-too-hawt, @3am-reading, @tangledraysofsunshine, @readmeaway, @gently-say-aha, @breezyfreezey, @soup-that-is-too-hawt, @fi-fi-firefly, @alongwiththewindd, @an-teo520, @dracolovelaceisinlove, @sleeping-and-books, @city-of-fae, @inejghxfaa, @franticlittlegeek, @darlingod, @ame233, @feysand-dot-acotar, @l0sts0uls1128, @tswaney17, @shadesoflondonxoxo, @rapunzel1523, @hoegreenbrair, @lost0nline, @vera0124, @afexiss, @pala-done, @blackbirdswords , @sjmsstuff, @tintinnabulary, @flashytrashy, @the-unicornspoop, @books-and-sleep, @cailleach-na-speirtha, @acourtofstudyingandsuffering, @nitrot150, @foundtheavacados, @justccstuff, @goawayi-mreading, @kickassunicorn, @hoegreenbrair, @sjmsstuff, @feelthismom3nt-blog, @feeoly, @faefromthenorth, @queenofxhearts, @lovemollywho, @velarian-trash, @tessas-herondales, @alissa-kirk, @sophiespievak, @galllatea, @georgialeighc13, @clockworkgraystairs, @pilesofriles, @queentearss, @mustangsally913, @pilesofriles, @fangirlforever0704, @dayanna-hatter, @empress-ofbloodshed, @izou1204, @tintinnabulary, @13luecloud, @furiousflowerponypizza, @bamchickawowow, @ireallyshouldsleeprn, @hizqueen4life, @thebookish-fangirl, @judehatescardan, @cardanslittletail, @burninjurdan, @rowaelin-percabeth, @amapformyjourney, @ghostlyrose2, @nephilimlove, @judexcardanxgreenbriar, @charincharge, @flowersinvegas, @selcouthdream, @lizzzziebear, @sleepybabything, @ysitsohardtofindaname, @lahistoriaquenoteconte, @blackjacks-donuts, @sincerelymetoyou, @brit-alltoowell, @poeticbrownmermaid, @aelin-queen-of-terrasen, @flamingliterature, @whatafuckingbabe, @thesirenwashere, @drewstarkeyobx, @dorkzrul, @an-ironic-pisces, @sluttyskeletonss, @ironic-noodles, @ireallyshouldsleeprn, @kittkatandbooboo, @superrfk, @infinite-cats, @highlady17, @gloriouspaintercreatorbandit, @suchaspeciallittlesnowflake, @mar2203, @ireallyshouldsleeprn, @mis-lil-red, @clockworkgraystairs, @pig-on-acid, @owl0y0s, @sanctalina, @cardan-s-tail, @st00pid231, @courtofjurdan, @booksofthemoon, @sarcasticsagittarius1998, @elriel4life, @nowthatsdistilledspirit, @localgoof, @fangirlprincess09, @thewayshedreamed, @minaidss, @life-wanderer, @transbordeamento, @l0sts0uls1128, @nerd447, @nellasantos98, @ourbooksuniverse, @thalia-2-rose

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seokmingiggles · 4 years

Text

on cerulean tides.

Anon requested on 201219: "Would you do an idol!Kim Namjoon one shot where the reader (non-idol) is best friends with the Maknaes and believes there's no way Namjoon would ever like her so she begins to avoid him whenever she hangs out with the Maknaes at the dorms/studio/dance practice to try to get over him and Joon picks up on it and thinks he did something wrong/is sad since he thinks he stands no chance with her until the Maknaes force them to realize they return each other's feelings? Thank you in advance!"

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x female reader

Genre: angst to fluff, idol!au, non-idol!reader, happy ending.

3.04k words

Warnings: heavy feelings of inferiority and insecurity, self-doubt, an incredibly brief mention of alcohol consumption, a dragged out metaphor about the sea.

With the ocean of uncertainty plaguing you, you've been avoiding the boy your heart yearns for, not knowing just how much your distance has been impacting him too. Alternatively, Namjoon is your beacon to guide you through the stormy feelings of self-doubt that you've been struggling with lately.

A/N: Thank you for your request! I probably made this much angstier than you intended, but I promise a fluffy ending awaits you. I hope it's okay! (I promise it’s not some pirate!au with a title like this lmao)

This one is dedicated to anyone who feels doubtful of themself. I wish that one day you will be able to see what an astonishing and beautiful being you are. All of us have insecurities about ourselves—big or small—but letting those criticisms consume you is unhealthy and prevents you from living your life to the fullest. Please reach out to talk to someone you trust if these feelings become overwhelming. Things will get better. Please take care of yourself!

•• You and Jimin laughed as you ran down the hallway, each of you with a bag of food in your arms. You could hear Taehyung and Jungkook scampering behind you, the former being noisy as he chased after you, Jungkook only had slightly more grace as he moved.

Being close with the maknae line of BTS had its perks. You could visit them in the studio if they called for you, you could have movie nights at their dorm on their off days, and above all, you could goof around to lift your spirits. You had boundaries; you knew when to leave them be during the busier periods of their schedules and how you couldn't post anything about them online. You didn't mind, though. Your friendship was more than enough.

You were a high school classmate of Jungkook's a few years back, although the two of you never spoke much during those first couple of years. It was only after his group's debut where the boy found himself in need of a tutor, and the school recommended a few to him. Yours was the only name on the list that Jungkook recognized, so it was an easy decision for him to make. Once you and your classmate graduated high school, Jungkook was no longer in need of a tutor, but he wanted to maintain your friendship as he didn't have many others he was close to in your graduating class. Slowly but surely, you also became friends with Taehyung and Jimin when visiting Jungkook over the years. Now, the four of you were practically inseparable. While the boys wouldn't tell you to your face, they all admired you because you never once treated them differently despite their status as idols, especially as their public popularity increased over time.

Jimin reached the vacant studio room before you, holding the door open to let you inside before shouting back at his friends, "You two better hurry up or else (Y/N)-ah and I will eat all the food!"

"Oh, I believe it!" Taehyung cupped his mouth as he yelled back, being pulled by the younger boy at his wrist.

Soon enough, Jungkook and Taehyung made it to the room before Jimin could lock them out. This whole ordeal began when Taehyung needed to use the bathroom after you all had entered the BigHit building. Jungkook went with him, leaving you and Jimin with the lunch he'd ordered.

"All that running from you guys worked up my appetite," you declared as you removed the assortment of containers from one of the bags.

"Well, all that chasing worked up mine," Taehyung countered, teasingly sneering at you and Jimin, the latter already breaking apart his disposable chopsticks.

The four of you began to devour your meal. The three boys were in the middle of a busy working day and invited you to join them for their lunch break. It wasn't an uncommon request; you'd see the trio at least once a week, sometimes more if their schedules cooperated.

Some playful banter with full mouths and filling tummies later, you were sitting back in your chair as you watched Jungkook finish the last of the japchae when someone knocked on the studio door.

After Jungkook managed a "Come in," with his cheeks full of noodles, it was Namjoon's head that poked through the doorway.

"I just want to remind you three that you'll be needed for our meeting in fifteen minutes," the group leader said, eyeing the now-emptied remnants of the lunch you enjoyed. "Hi, (Y/N)."

"Hi, Namjoon." You matched his monotonous tone, maintaining difficult eye contact as he shut the door behind him.

"Okay, whatever is going on between you two needs to stop," Jimin sighed out, visibly frustrated. "You used to get along so well with hyung, and now it's so awkward seeing you interact."

Taehyung sat up straighter, "I agree. You two have so much in common. It's sad to see you so distant now."

Jimin and Taehyung were right. You and Namjoon had to do a lot of scheduling together back when you were Jungkook's tutor, so he was the first one you'd gotten to know in the band, other than your former classmate. The two of you shared a similar mindset: you were both compassionate, responsible, and—arguably above all else—incredibly bad at sharing your feelings.

You wished you could determine the exact moment you began to develop feelings for Namjoon. Maybe it was something about his warm smile; maybe it was his cheery laugh. Or perhaps the way he so intently listened to what the others had to say and would consider ideas other than his own. You not once ever doubted his ability as a leader. You've known the boys since their debut, and even back then, you found Namjoon fit for his role; he's only become better at his job in the passing years.

Yet, something about him made you doubt your ability to be his equal. Part of you knew it was silly to begin avoiding Namjoon in the first place, but the other part of you couldn't bear to suffocate with those annoying butterflies swarming every time your gaze met his. Even from across a room, Namjoon had a powerful effect on you. Part of you wanted his impact on you to stop; part of you missed his closeness.

"Jungkook, you're being awfully quiet," Jimin exchanged a look with Taehyung, "Do you know something that we don't?"

Your head snapped up in Jungkook's direction, silently begging for the boy to deny their assumption.

The youngest hummed and grabbed a water bottle, twisting the cap off and taking a sip. He swished the water around in his mouth.

"Don't make me squish your cheeks to spit out that water, Jeon."

Jungkook swallowed. He glanced at you for confirmation, although instead, took in your tired appearance. He brought it upon himself to make your exhaustion stop.

"(Y/N)-ie likes Namjoon."

You sighed at hearing those words aloud. You couldn't even be mad at your friend; the only way he found out about your feelings was over some drinks one night where you were rambling about how pretty you thought Namjoon looked earlier that day. In hindsight, maybe it wasn't a good idea to tell your crush's bandmate that you liked him.

Jimin shifted in his seat, "Okay, and...? Don't tell me you thought we didn't already know, (Y/N)-ie."

"Yeah, it was obvious when you'd become flustered around hyung!" Taehyung added, "But after you began avoiding him I figured something had changed."

You fiddled with the cap of your water bottle. "Does he know?"

"Namjoon? No, there's no way. He's about as clueless as you are when it comes to crushes." Jimin pondered then continued, "Maybe we could talk to him about it-"

"Absolutely not."

"But why not (Y/N)? It's painful for us to watch the two of you interact lately; it must be worse for you guys."

"I don't want him to know."

"That's not a good reason-"

"It's good enough for me. Now please, can we just forget about it? Don't you guys have a meeting to get to?" You felt bad for shutting down their request. After all, they were only trying to help you.

The boys began to stand, collecting the bags and containers scattered on the floor. They were visibly defeated, but they respected your plead.

Jimin stood by you before turning to the door, "Okay, if that's what you wish, we won't tell him. I do think you should, though, (Y/N). Maybe the results will be in your favour."

•

You felt numb as you were on the bus heading back to your apartment. You tried to escape from your thoughts about the boy you were so fond of, yet your mind defeatedly wandered its way back to him no matter how hard you tried. It pained you to see Namjoon's behaviour shift with yours as you began to avoid him throughout the past month. You didn't realize how severe it had become until your friends pointed it out to you. You thought the distance you created would help alleviate the pounding sensation in your chest and clammy palms associated with Namjoon's presence. You never thought that one day you'd prefer your racing heart to the emptiness you feel now.

He's too good for me, you kept convincing yourself until it was all that you believed.

He couldn't love someone like me.

You have struggled with self-compassion throughout your life thus far. Feelings of gratitude coming in inconsistent waves like the unpredictable ocean tides. You were stormier lately—lost in the sea of doubt and floundering to find stability on shore again.

Namjoon used to be your lifeboat. He taught you that appreciating oneself is necessary to become genuinely happy. He even wrote lyrics about the phenomenon. He made it sound so simple, so achievable. Yet, the theory is typically easier than the practice. Wind and rain continued to pelt down at you, thrashing the waves beneath your surface and making it difficult to breathe.

You wanted to change your mentality; you wanted to be more confident. But constantly comparing yourself to others is equivalent to drowning in the murky ocean, the depths sucking you further and further below until not a trace of sunlight remains.

You made it back to your apartment safely in one piece. You were mentally exhausted and drained at all of your overthinking. You felt the need to cry out of frustration.

"Remember to breathe when you're feeling like this. Come on, just slow, deep breaths."

Namjoon's voice resounded in your head from a few months back when you overheard him calming Taehyung down in a neighbouring room.

You missed hearing his voice.

It was an unmistakable desire. You missed the way he'd look at you with utmost attention and care when you'd speak with him. You missed the way he'd give his thoughtful advice. You missed his smile, his laughter; you missed him. You longed to be back in Namjoon's presence. He always knew what to do or say to help calm the storm. He was a lighthouse beckoning you back safely to shore.

You were getting tired of avoiding him.

But you were also getting tired.

Padding your way to your bed, you slipped into comfy loungewear and got beneath your covers. You momentarily stared up at the ceiling before closing your eyes.

"Come on, just slow, deep breaths."

•

Your ringing phone was what awoke you. It could have been minutes or hours later; you weren't sure. You reluctantly pushed yourself out of your blanketed fortress and made your way to the kitchen counter where you left the device. It was still light outside, but you could see the sun beginning to approach the horizon line.

"Hello?" You said, cursing in your head for the way your groggy voice sounded.

"Hi, (Y/N). It's been a while. Could we talk?"

You froze, being doused by the icy sea.

"Um..." you hesitated. You were caught off guard in a place that was supposed to be your retreat, by a person who was supposed to be your oasis.

"Deep breaths."

"Yeah, I-I guess we could talk."

"Great. Would it be okay if I came to you? I'm almost done here in the studio, maybe another thirty minutes before I can head out."

You were nodding your head before you verbalized your agreement.

"Okay. I'll see you soon, (Y/N)."

"See you, Namjoon."

You hung up first and set your phone back onto the kitchen counter, your elbows following shortly after so you could place your face in your hands.

You knew this was coming; Namjoon was a responsible young adult. There was no way he could have missed your change in behaviour around him as much as you wished for otherwise.

•

Thirty minutes went by faster than you wished. The sharp knock on your door startled you as you were washing some dishes in the kitchen. Cleaning when stressed wasn't an unusual habit of yours.

You hesitated, grabbing a tea towel to dry your hands before treading carefully to the door.

"Deep breaths."

You removed the chain and carefully opened the door. You knew Namjoon was waiting for you on the other side, yet your breath still hitched as your eyes wandered upwards to meet his.

"Come in," you forced from your lips and stepped to the side to let your guest past.

Namjoon thanked you as he slipped his shoes off and made his way to your sofa, declining your offer of a drink.

You joined him shortly after, keeping him more than an arms-length away.

"What's wrong, (Y/N)?"

"Deep breaths."

"Did Jimin mention anything to you?" You could tell your voice sounded weak, but you had other pressing concerns.

"Nothing elaborate. All I was told by him and Taehyung was that I should try talking to you. They didn't say why, but I think we both know."

You searched his face for any signs of dishonesty but found none. "Nothing's wrong-"

"Please," he pushed, "I'd like to think I know you well enough over the years. Something is wrong. I should have come here sooner. You know you can trust me." He even bared a small smile after his words.

It only made your heart plummet further into the depths: a watery grave with your name written on it.

"You're just..." you sighed out, already feeling tears prickling at your eyes. "You're really... just... good. I hope you know how good of a person you are, Namjoon. I don't know how else to explain it. You're a good person. No, that's an understatement. You're... it sometimes doesn't feel like you're real, you know? You're just so giving and considerate and so aware of others' wellbeing." You failed to hold back your emotions; a tear slid down your cheek. "You're good."

And proving your point, Namjoon slid closer to you on the couch so he could take your hand in his.

"Sometimes I feel so insignificant," you continued, "like I'm nobody special or that I'm not doing anything important or worthwhile; that I'm not enough. It's like I'm stuck on the bottom of the ocean. I'm not drowning, but I'm able to see the world passing by above me."

Namjoon said nothing for a moment and just absorbed your thoughts as he mindlessly brushed his thumb across the back of your hand. "There are times in everyone's' life where we all feel that way. You can only tread water for so long before you exhaust yourself and begin to sink. I've felt that way, too—stuck, insignificant. If I'm being blunt, part of my desire to change my mindset was because of you, (Y/N). When I first met you as Jungkook's tutor, you seemed so knowledgable, responsible; you had a good head on your shoulders. You were good. Part of you reminded me of myself, yet part of me also felt intimidated by you." Namjoon stopped momentarily to smile at your astonished face as you mouthed 'intimidated?'. "Yes, intimidated. I've admired you since day one. Then slowly, I realized that those feelings became more than just a simple admiration. But I held back saying anything because I didn't feel worthy of you. I let my own self-doubt get in the way."

"I'm the one not worthy of you, 'Joon."

"Please, love, nothing about that is true," the boy's voice became so tender as he brought his free hand to the side of your face. "One day, I'll show you just how incredible you are to me," he swiped his thumb to collect a stray tear, "but right now, I think you're more in need of a tissue and a hug."

A small, breathy laugh fell from your lips as you accepted the tissue Namjoon retrieved for you. After effectively wiping away your salty tears, you gladly situated yourself in his outstretched arms, being held in a tight embrace. The two of you remained like that until your breathing gradually calmed down, then you moved so you were lying against him with your back to his chest. His nose lightly nuzzled the top of your head.

"All of us have a bit of the ocean inside of us," Namjoon continued, delicately grazing his thumb around the curved corner of your eye, "it means you have the power to control the waves to some extent. The sea can be unpredictable, but so is life. It takes practice to learn to control your waves. I know you may not believe in yourself now, but please, (Y/N), believe me when I tell you that you're enough. You're more than enough."

•

Namjoon stayed with you for the rest of the evening to make sure your spirits were lifted even the slightest bit. The distance that grew between you was from a mutual error; you came to understand your similar sides to the story as you continued to talk. The whole ordeal made you realize that you're not alone in your insecurities. Even someone you suspected to be flawless had doubts of their own.

You were situated back in your bed after Namjoon had left minutes ago. He wished you a good night and pleasant dreams, topping off his adieu with a quick peck to your cheek. You relished in the feeling of your butterflies returning, no longer letting them suffocate you, instead, embracing them in their colourful magnificence.

You recalled what Namjoon said earlier to you:

"You know, what you said about the ocean, it can be beautiful too. Yes, it's scary when you're alone and trapped at the bottom beneath the waves in the dark, but the thing about the sea is that it's continuously moving and shifting. Like our lives, tides come in highs and lows and can change from day-to-day, hour-to-hour. It's unfair to assume we can always remain floating on the surface; when that happens, you can't go anywhere yourself. You need to be partially submerged to move and make choices.

Why don't we traverse this sea together? We can help guide each other until we've found our shore again."

Namjoon was your lighthouse; you were the moon guiding his tides.

••

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seriouslyhooked · 4 years

Text

The Best Bad Idea

Three-part CS AU where Emma and Killian are doctors working at the same hospital (world without pandemic). They’ve yet to meet, but Emma has definitely seen the sexy Dr. Jones in her travels at Mist Haven Medical. It’s generally a bad idea to get involved with a colleague, but a little fantasizing never hurt… right? Inspired by the song ‘Bad Idea’ by Ariana Grande and a TV couple who set the bar for true love stories.

Available on FF Here and AO3 Here.

A/N: Hey all! Here is a little something I made instead of being a responsible writer and finishing my other projects. I’ll be back to my other WIPs soon (God willing), but in the meantime here’s my 1000th attempt at writing a Captain Swan meet cute. I needed to get some words on the page, and this is the result. Hope you all enjoy, and thanks for reading!

Thump, thump. Thump, thump. Thump, thump. Thump, Thump. Steady, sure, and even. A solid pulsing sound with no inconsistencies and no delays or false starts.

In this particular patient, that fourth set of beats was the most important. Prior to his recent operation, Earl MacDonald’s heart had been weak and skipping needed pulses, then constricting far too harshly on every fourth measure. That type of arrhythmia had potentially disastrous consequences, but those worrying beats were seemingly behind them. The rhythm Emma heard through the stethoscope was a regularly circulating drumline, the tell-tale song of a heart that was working, and working well. Her surgical intervention had been successful.

She gently released the breath she was holding, a sign of the stress that she carried while waiting for patients to recuperate. Emma never let the patients see her sweat, but she had been worried on multiple levels in this case. Earl was going on 80, and not a logical contender for intensive cardiac mediation, but Emma’s gut had told her he could handle it, and she was rarely ever wrong. Earl forged through the surgery like a much younger man, and his outputs post-operation had all been extremely encouraging. It was shaping up to be another win, another life saved thanks to the power of medicine, and that filled Emma with real joy. She always did her absolute best to create good outcomes, and this time there was so much more on the line than one life. This was a man who was loved and cherished by the people closest to him, and who would be sorely missed if something were to happen.

“Anything you want me to note for the chart, Doctor Swan?”

Emma bit back a witty retort at the pointed use of the word ‘Doctor.’ She was one of the few surgeons in this hospital who didn’t care what people called her, as long as they called on her early enough to actually save the patient’s life. But with Belle, a person Emma considered a dear and true friend, there was an added lilt of sass when using her title. Her friend was one of the nurse practitioners that Emma had been working with for years, since the day she landed here as a medical intern, but despite their differences in degrees, Belle was easily the most well-read and brilliant resource when it came to medical literature in this hospital.

“Just that Mr. MacDonald is healing nicely.”

“Did you hear that Lorraine?” Earl asked, with a Cheshire cat smile on his face, and the glint of true pride in his eyes. “Doctor Emma says I’m healing nicely.”

“Hard not to hear, seeing as I’m right beside you,” Loraine quipped, but she squeezed his hand affectionately, and offered a warm smile to her husband all the same.

“You know, usually being dubbed ‘nice’ is the kiss of death for a man.”

“Earl!” Loraine chastised, clearly not liking his word choice. Earl smiled wider, looking almost boyish in his delight.

“Well, so to speak. But I was going to say that I think we can make an exception this time. I’ve never been so happy to be referred to as ‘nice’ in my life.”

“Technically Doctor Swan was referring to your vital signs, Earl,” Belle taunted from across the room, holding back a smile Emma knew she was bound to let loose soon enough.

“Aw come on, you both know I am your favorite patient. I mean I’m not exactly pressed for competition. Have you seen the people on this floor? Good grief.”

“Ignore him, ladies. He’s all talk. He hasn’t left this room since we got here,” Loraine said, rolling her eyes, as if these antics were a constant occurrence. Based on her small window of experience with Earl, Emma would believe it. “Every meal, every visit, every moment has been within these four walls. Even his PT has been in here.”

“His PT has been here?” Emma asked, surprised that Mary Margaret, their head Occupational Therapist, had allowed for that. She was normally a by-the-book professional, and Emma never knew her friend to provide rehab consults outside of her studio.

“Yup. I told Miss Mary Margaret that I had a wife to keep an eye on and she relented.”

“No, actually what you said was, ‘Excuse me, Ms. Blanchard? You probably heard I just had heart surgery. Well, the thing is, my heart is sitting in this room. I’d like to be with her. Doesn’t seem right to be separated so soon, given what we’ve been through.’ Then you pointed at me, and used your puppy dog eyes on her. Next thing I knew, she had lugged enough equipment to fill the room here. No questions, just action.”

“I bet she ate that right up,” Belle said with a wink. “Mary Margaret loves nothing more than love itself.”

Belle and Mrs. MacDonald discussed Mary Margaret’s love of love, and Earl’s improved mobility, for a few more minutes while Emma continued checking his stats, but ultimately Earl’s patience was wearing thin. He really only had one thing on his mind, and he was now determined to ask about it. Emma was honestly shocked that he managed to wait this long. She knew it was only a matter of time and she was ready for the showdown.

“So, what do you think, Doc? Am I making it home in time for the party?”

“The one for your grandson on Sunday?” she asked, noting the three-day window between now and then. She had heard about this party non-stop, since the moment Earl woke up from the procedure. It was a central fixation for the old man, a celebration that would host his entire family, and a goal he had been carrying for over a week. Earl nodded and Emma hesitated for a few seconds, before smiling and giving the good news away. “Yes, I am confident that Jayden’s ‘Pop Pops’ will be in attendance when he turns four. But you know the rules…”

“I know, I know: no good food, no strenuous exercise, no having fun.”

“Earl.” Just the utterance of the old man’s name from his wife was enough to have him looking like a kid with his hand caught in the candy jar. Emma and Belle both chuckled at that child-like expression. It was hard not to; the old married couple was just too sweet.

“I’m sorry. I know this is serious, but what is life if you can’t have a little fun?”

“Fun comes in all shapes and sizes, Mr. MacDonald, and despite what you may think about your prescribed lifestyle changes, you’re forgetting two things. First, most of these less-alluring prescriptions will be temporary, and second, you’re a man who clearly loves a challenge.”

“Oh yeah? And how do you know that, Doc?”

“Well for one thing, you somehow landed a lady as remarkable as Loraine. There’s no way she came easy with these corny jokes of yours. You must have worked harder than you ever worked in your life to persuade her to give you a chance.”

The laughter from the older couple was boisterous and heartwarming, and Emma knew she was right on the money. At this point, she had the ability to sniff out true affection, and these two had it in spades. Many couples she saw facing emergency room disasters together didn’t have the same good luck.

“You got that right, Doc. You know the first time we met was at the -,”

Earl’s story was unceremoniously interrupted by the crackling of the PA system specific to this room. It buzzed for a few moments before a message was delivered in a saccharine sweet voice that sounded nothing like the announcer’s normal tone.

“Paging Doctor Swan to the Nurse’s station. Doctor Swan to the Nurse’s station, code 741.”

Emma waited for the feed to cut off and began to tell Earl to please go on with the story, but the call came out again.

“Paging Doctor Swan to the Nurse’s station. Doctor Swan, code 741.”

“You know she’s just going to keep doing that until she gets her way,” Belle murmured. Emma nodded. It was no use. What Ruby Lucas wanted, Ruby Lucas got. That just seemed to be the way of the world.

“Belle, would you mind telling Ruby I’m with a patient at the moment? I will be there when I can. She can always proceed without me.”

Belle snorted out a laugh, knowing that last part would never happen, but gave a swift affirmation that she would relay the message before waving goodbye to the MacDonald’s and promising to see them soon. As her friend headed out, Emma sighed, knowing there was no way Ruby was going to give things up that easily. She had a matter of moments before some new tactic would be deployed.

“I’m sorry about that. You were saying?”

“Eh it’s kind of a long story, and you’ve got places to be, Doc. Just know, true love won out in the end with me and my Loraine. It always does.”

Emma couldn’t deny that their love appeared true even after their fifty plus years together. She personally had never experienced a love like that, but she was wondering more and more if maybe it was out there, somewhere in the later chapters of her story. For years she thought herself above that kind of need. She found validation in herself and in her work. She dedicated herself to helping others, and that had always been enough. But the loneliness that became a constant when she was growing up in foster care still lingered, and she wondered if someone might ever come along who could inspire her to take a chance and risk her heart.

“You know, I actually worked as a nurse before my kids were born,” Loraine commented easily. Emma nodded and smiled as she checked the last of Mr. MacDonald’s IV drips. Emma was aware of the older woman’s solid medical understanding. Loraine had continued to demonstrate it the entire time her husband was admitted in this ward. “I’m trying to remember if I ever ran into a code 741.”

“Oh, uh, I think – well, erm, I mean you probably didn’t,” Emma said, hoping she didn’t turn beet red at the passing comment from the older woman. She was already stuttering, which was completely out of character and eighty shades of embarrassing. Loraine’s words feigned ignorance, but her eyes told a different story. Still Emma tried to play it off. “It’s really not a big deal. Just a non-emergent protocol.”

Another alert sounded, but this time it came through the ceiling unit reserved for announcements to the wider reaches of the hospital. “Attention to all surgical ward personnel. We are paging Doctor Swan to the nurse’s station. Doctor Swan, you are needed at the nurse’s station immediately for a code 741.” The talking stopped, but the air crackled signaling that the line was still live. “Immediately.”

“Sounds pretty urgent to me,” Loraine replied. The curiosity in her gaze told Emma that the older woman was onto them, but it was Earl’s comment that cut too close for comfort.

“When I was in the war, all of our numeric codes corresponded to letters. So 7 was H, 4 was D, 1 was A. H – D – A. HDA, now what could that be….?” Uh oh. Now Emma really had to get out of here before she accidentally admitted Ruby’s code’s meaning – Hot Doctor Alert. That would be the cherry on top of a full-blown mortification sundae.

“All righty, well like I told Belle, all your scans look good. Doctor Whale is on shift this evening during the next series of rounds, so I’ll make sure your file is ready for him.”

“Of course, dear, and good luck with your doctor, er – I mean – code.”

Emma stammered out something like an ‘okay thanks,’ while leaving. She tried to get her bearings once she was out of sight of the room, but she had nowhere to go. Everyone on this floor had just heard her page, and there were bound to be at least a few who understood the meaning. She was so embarrassed, and more than a little ticked at Ruby. She was supposed to be her best friend, but she was always pulling these crazy stunts. They were mostly harmless, but for Emma, who hated being the subject of hospital gossip, it was anxiety inducing to say the least.

“Please tell me that you did not just broadcast that to the entire hospital,” Emma said, arriving at the nurse’s station with a sense of urgency, and watching some of the other nurses scurry off to avoid the confrontation. Ruby, however, was unfazed. Actually, the nurse manager just rolled her eyes, grabbing her bag and phone from her cubby, as if Emma was the one who was annoying and not the other way around.

“And here I was thinking we were the best of friends. Soul sisters, kindred spirits, friends for life. But no, ye of little faith, you actually believe I would broadcast the hot doc alert to all of Mist Haven? What kind of friend would do that?”

“But if you didn’t… then how did you…?” Emma’s questions trailed off, but her arms flailed towards the ceiling and the look on her face spoke for itself – how had Ruby used the hospital wide PA system without actually broadcasting to the entire hospital?

“You know Tink up in nuero?” Emma nodded, well acquainted with the nurse manager who had Ruby’s job on the fifth floor but with a specialization of the brain and nervous system. She was a tiny woman, but she ruled that ward with more than capable hands. “She and I bribed the IT guys to make the nurse managers an override. Now we can circumvent the PA software whenever we want. Bring some of you more stubborn Doctors to heal when it comes to answering our pages.”

“That’s… well, actually that’s genius,” Emma admitted.

“I like to think so,” Ruby teased, offering a genuine smile. The two friends laughed at all of this, and Emma felt so much better knowing that their secret was still relatively secure. The last thing she wanted was everyone knowing how she was spending her lunch breaks these days.

“Gus, you’re holding down the fort while I’m gone, right?” Ruby asked, her smile turning slightly wicked with the purposeful jest aimed at the new nursing aid sitting behind the desk.

“Me?” The new hire replied, suddenly white as a sheet. Emma had never seen the man so stricken, and as a new nurse he had plenty of high-stress moments to look alarmed during. “I – uh – well – I -,”

“It’s called comedic relief, Gus. Commonly referred to as joking. Do me a favor, learn about it by the end of shift, kay?” Ruby pivoted to the person she actually trusted to man the fort. “Thirty minutes work for you, Belle?”

“I’ve got it handled.”

“Excellent. We’ll return with a full report,” Ruby said, grabbing Emma’s arm and moving them down the hallway before Emma could even say goodbye. “Newbies – can’t live with them, can’t pawn off scut work without them.”

“You are terrible. And yet… the look on his face just now…? Priceless,” Emma acquiesced. “But seriously, Ruby, can we PLEASE find another way to page me for this? My patients are not stupid, and the code isn’t exactly original. It’s kind of…” Ruby’s grin was so big that it stopped Emma in her tracks. She was currently trying to hold her friend to account, but Ruby looked like she’d won the lottery. “What?”

“You are so totally into him! I mean listen to you right now.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Emma said, feeling her cheeks flush against her will.

“Exactly,” Ruby said. “You’re telling me to be more discreet when I send the bat signal, but you still want me to send it. Do you realize how unlike you that is?”

“Despite what you may think, Ruby. I’m a doctor, I’m not dead. I can appreciate a hot guy now and again.”

“Doubtful. Remember last month when all those pro hockey players were here after Ocheski collapsed on the ice? You had a room full of crazy sexy men. Like virile, hot, muscled men who get paid big money to beat each other up on the ice. Most women would die for that chance, and to make it even better, most of them were hitting on you. And what did you do? Nothing. You didn’t even blink.”

“They were not hitting on me,” Emma affirmed, but the words were hollow. They had been trying to flirt with her. A few had even attempted to get her number.

“They were hitting on you,” Ruby said adamantly.

“He was a patient, and the rest of them were essentially his family. You know I’d never cross that line. Doesn’t count.”

“Fine, then what about Dr. King? When he came for that conjoined twins case last year, you had no interest. Zero. Zilch.”

“King was an asshole, you know that,” Emma said, belatedly catching her use of profanity and checking that no patients were around. Luckily the coast was clear.

“So? You didn’t have to marry the guy. Hot is hot, honey. That’s just how things are.”

Emma barked out a laugh at even the thought of marrying someone like that. Arthur King was just about the worst person she could fathom to spend a life with. He was narcissistic and carrying around one of the biggest god-complexes she’d ever seen, and she was a surgeon, so she was an expert on god-complexes.

“Your face really says it all, Emma. I mean honestly, poker would be a terrible game for you to take up. Your contempt for King is obvious, but, meanwhile, as soon as I mention Doctor Jones… aha! See, totally shifted.”

Emma didn’t know what to say to that. She could try and protest, but her friend knew her too well for that. The best thing to do was say nothing, and she was saved by their arrival at their destination. The coffee cart in the center of the action, near the entrance of Mist Haven. Here was where the wards crossed paths. Her surgical wing met up with the specialties departments, the ER, the community clinic, and more. It was also swarmed with both hospital workers and visitors. Typically, this was the last place she wanted to be, but recently it had become a highlight of her day.

“Emma? Ruby? What’s brought you out here?” a voice asked. It was Mary Margaret, and given her street clothes and jacket, Emma would guess she was just starting her shift.

“Haven’t you heard? There’s fresh meat from the ER. Two showings a day, but we favor the afternoon delight.”

“Oh right,” Mary Margaret said, nodding, like Ruby’s words were totally normal, and for Ruby they were. “I heard about the new ER Chief. Doctor Nolan? I meant to get down there and bring him something to welcome him, but I’ve been so swamped this week. My caseload is crazy at the moment. I hope he won’t think too badly of me for being a bit late.”

“Mary Margaret, literally no one in a hospital brings people cupcakes as a welcome gift, especially not new guys in other departments.” Ruby was not wrong. Hospitals were hardly the most happy-go-lucky of places. At least not usually. “Believe me, the man will be grateful whenever they come. If he even eats them. He’s fit – like fit, fit. Keto diet and a personal trainer fit. The kind of fit that makes you -,”

“Careful, Ruby,” Emma teased. “What if Graham heard you saying that?”

“God, I wish. You know how worked up he gets, and how he works out his frustrations.” Ruby’s tone was dripping in suggestion. “It’s one of the many reasons I live to drive him crazy.”

Emma and Mary Margaret laughed at Ruby’s apt assessment of her relationship with her boyfriend. Ruby had been dating the fireman for almost a year now, since he came in on one of the ambulance bays with a victim he’d rescued from a fire, but Ruby was hardly the predictable type, and Graham seemed to love that about her. They were still going strong despite her willful, wild child nature, and Emma suspected they may be built to last.

“Doctor Nolan must really be something to get you out here, Emma,” Mary Margaret said, moving forward in the line, inching ever closer to the mediocre coffee the cart promised.

“Ha! Hardly. Emma’s not here for Nolan. She’s here for Jones.”

“Jones?” Mary Margaret asked.

“Girl, where have you been? Doctor Killian Jones, trauma surgeon extraordinaire. Chief Mills brought him here for a ‘collaboration’ with the ER, but she’s totally trying to recruit him for head of his own department. Turns out he and David Nolan are old friends. Same medical school maybe? I don’t know, no one’s gotten me those details yet. Anyway, Regina hardly leaves him alone. She only misses this little window because she’s hooking up with Doctor Locksley in the supply room on the 2nd floor.”

“She’s WHAT?!” Emma and Mary Margaret yelled at the same time and Ruby looked aghast for the first time today. Some other hospital staff in the area glanced over, but no one paid much mind beyond a head nod. Everyone was absorbed in their own need for caffeine, and no one was the wiser of the bombshell Ruby had just dropped.

“Oh shoot, I wasn’t supposed to say that. I promised Ella, damn it!”

“Ella, her assistant? I thought she quit,” Mary Margaret stage whispered.

“Oh she did. Made it a whole two months, which, you know, makes sense given the fact that Regina is a nightmare. But the last week she was here, she learned a crucial secret regarding her Majesty. She spilled last week at The White Rabbit, but I promised her I wouldn’t tell until she’s settled at her new job at GMH. So you did not hear this from me, and I did not hear this from her, capische?”

“I can’t believe the Evil Queen is dating someone,” Mary Margaret said, deeply disturbed by the idea. She shuddered at the thought, and this was someone who loved love. But love and Regina Mills didn’t really feel like concepts that belonged in the same sentence. Scratch that, they didn’t really even belong in the same book. “She’s just so…”

“Evil?” Emma responded. The nickname worked for a reason, after all. The hospital Chief was downright tyrannical.

“Exactly.”

“Well dating is a stretch. She’s screwing someone. But then again, who knows. Ella said she actually saw her smiling in those final days. And not that evil one she’s famous for. Like a real, genuine, I have a heart, smile.”

“No way,” Emma said at the same time Mary Margaret murmured, “Well would you look at that.”

“Don’t worry. I’m on the case. The temp is a totally easy mark – Sydney something. I’m buying him lunch tomorrow. I’ll have the whole story before you know it.”

“Won’t Graham be proud,” Emma chuckled, but her joke fell on deaf ears as something caught Ruby’s attention across the way. Her friend’s countenance changed immediately, putting Emma on alert.

“Ooh, they’re coming! Act normal.”

Normally, Emma would have laughed at that command, but she was too busy feeling the spike of adrenaline at the impending arrival of one Doctor Killian Jones. He really was a world-renowned trauma surgeon, who was working on a number of cutting-edge techniques that saved lives and gave critical care patients better chances to recover. She had actually heard of him a few years ago when reading about a new procedure to treat arrhythmia in patients with traumatic injury. He engineered it in the field, while serving in the British naval forces, and his paper had been circulating in cardiac wings around the country, but she never saw the man before last week when he arrived in Boston. Suffice it to say she could not have imagined that this marvel of modern medicine would also be so roguishly handsome.

Spotting him today across the great hall, Emma was struck again by just how attractive this man was. She couldn’t even comprehend it really. All she knew was that she had yet to find a fault in him. Every day she’d stolen secret glances, and every time he proved better than her memory. It was crazy, and very reminiscent of schoolgirl crushes and teenage day dreams, but she couldn’t help the way she felt. It was intoxicating, and despite her best efforts, she was powerless to turn Ruby’s invites to the show down when she could witness this each and every day.

The first thing that she’d noticed about him was his general presence. His posture was strong and straight and assured. He looked ready for anything, but somehow laid back, like he was totally in control. People naturally parted when he walked by, as if he silently willed the flow of the hospital traffic. Ruby called it swagger. Emma called it… well something not quite safe for work. Couple that general aura of authority with the classically gorgeous features of his face, and Emma was lost. On that first day (and okay, maybe on the others as well), she actually felt her knees get weak. She always thought that was a bogus cliché, but nope, it was real, and she was the proof of it. From there she was hooked, and over time she’d chronicled more and more things to like about him.

Yesterday it had been his hair. As she watched him across the atrium, she noticed that the shade shone bright in the sun, but that it was nearer to midnight than any color brown. It was slightly longer than most of the other male doctors wore theirs, but not so long that it looked unkempt or unprofessional, at least not yet. She knew for a fact that the military never would allow for such a style, and it felt like a bit of rebellion, or maybe a lack of care for what others thought. Both sent a delicious thrill through Emma, even though she had no real confirmation one way or another. Maybe he was just lazy, but that wasn’t how she imagined him…

And oh boy did she imagine him. At first she hadn’t meant to. She just had these flashbacks to seeing him that she carried through the day. These visceral visions always started the same: he would walk by, looking downright delicious and impossible to resist, then he would turn his eyes her way here in the middle of the hospital hustle and bustle. She’d feel caught in his stare, sense the hunger even from the distance, and her heart would quicken to a maddening crescendo as he walked her way. The rest of the world would fade from view, and it would feel like they were the only two people alive. Her gaze would stay transfixed on his almost cocky composure and the hard line of his bearded jaw. The attraction in his blue eyes would light a fire in her, and then, without so much as a word like ‘hello’ or ‘nice to meet you,’ he’d pull her into his embrace and kiss her senseless. She could practically taste him on her tongue, and yet she’d never even heard him speak. People who had, who were later interrogated by Ruby, mentioned that he had an accent. British or Irish, or something along those lines. That tidbit had played oh so sweetly in Emma’s mind this week. God, she’d love to hear him say her name -,

“Emma,” a voice beside her said, but it didn’t pull her out of the fog. “Oh my God, Emma, he’s looking right at you.”

“He’s what?” Emma said, blinking back to reality before finding that Doctor Jones was looking this way. She’d been so busy fantasizing, she stopped paying attention to what was right in front of her.

In the middle of the room, the man who had intrigued her for over a week was standing totally still, disregarding the swarm of people on all sides. His entire attention had shifted from the task ahead of him, and he was looking at her, staring with a blend of intrigue and something Emma couldn’t describe. Doctor Nolan had stopped as well, but he was clearly confused as to the delay. He seemed to ask his friend what was wrong, and Emma watched spell bound, as the lips she’d envisioned kissing her moved in some kind of unheard reply. She couldn’t make out his words, but she shivered at the passion and determination etched across his being. David then looked their way, and Emma knew that Doctor Jones – Killian - had asked about them. No, forget that, he had asked about her. He was looking right at her, and that spark of heat and desire she’d always imagined was nowhere near as tantalizing as the real thing. He was looking at her with the same hunger she’d reserved for her wildest imaginings. Holy crap, what was she going to do?

“Ruby?” she asked, her voice squeaked out in alarm. She tore her gaze from the approaching object of her desire and looked to her best friend with overt confusion and mild panic.

“Took him long enough to spot you. It’s been almost a week. I thought I was going to have to hire a marching band or one of those giant arrow guys they have at outlet malls.”

Emma didn’t understand, and then it dawned on her – her friend had planned this. Emma looked at Mary Margaret, but she was still staring in the distance. Only when Emma followed her gaze did she realize that Mary Margaret wasn’t looking at Killian. She was looking at David.

“Hey, ladies, you looking to order, or what? I ain’t got all day!”

The three of them jumped at the barista’s interruption and Mary Margaret surged ahead to the line. She rattled off an order, giving way too much money to the attendant while grabbing her cup with shaky hands. Then she looked at David and back to Emma with an expression that said Mary Margaret may just bolt. Ok, what the actual hell was going on?

Before she could begin to answer that internal question, Doctor Jones and Doctor Nolan were within ear shot. Emma wracked her brain for something to say when they finally got here, but was spared when David broke the ice.

“Doctor Swan,” he said with a head nod and a polite smile. They knew each other peripherally at this point. Emma had consulted on numerous ER cases since Doctor Nolan started his new position. But she wouldn’t call them friends. They were very much acquaintances. “I heard Earl MacDonald is recovering nicely. He most definitely has you to thank for that.”

“And you too,” she said, offering credit where it was due. “A quick diagnosis makes all the difference. I’ve noticed the ER is filled with them since you started.”

“That’s kind of you. I don’t believe you’ve met my friend, Doctor Jones.”

“Killian,” Doctor Jones said immediately, before offering a heart stopping smile of his own. Emma had yet to see the man smile, and her heart skipped a beat, the rhythm of her pulse skittering in an almost blissful way. “A pleasure to meet you, Swan.”

He offered his hand to her, and Emma took it, shaking in greeting even though it was uncommon for doctors or nursing staff to do so. Chief Mills stressed that germ management was a top priority at Mist Haven, and she’d come as close to banning the practice as was legal in the state of Massachusetts. Usually Emma didn’t mind, but germs were the farthest thing from her radar when their fingers touched. Instead, Emma was filled with the zapping sense of promise and a thrill of warmth that made her head swim.

“Emma,” she whispered. A beat passed between them, and Emma lost herself for too long. Only the clearing of a throat beside them brought her back to the moment. She let go of his hand, but tracked the slight disappointment on his face when she did. It filled her with a rush of something long forgotten. A sense of peace and elation she hadn’t tasted in years. “Um these are my friends, Ruby Lucas and Mary Margaret Blanchard. Ruby’s the head nurse in the cardiac unit. And Mary Margaret runs OT for the surgical division.”

Emma tore her gaze from Killian, watching her friends make their greetings. Ruby handled her own completely, and Mary Margaret seemed to have gathered her courage, but now it was David who looked shocked and spell bound. Everyone appeared to be thrown off kilter, and it was only Ruby in control of herself. To say her friend was positively delighted with these new developments would be an understatement. That glee rang out clear as day in her invite to both the attending doctors.

“So… Doctor Nolan, Doctor Jones, any way we could convince you to join us? The coffee’s just all right, but the company’s not half bad.”

Both men agreed immediately, and Emma fought her hardest not to blush. It was hard though, and her pulse was racing in the face of this development. Killian came to stand by her, the space between them so small but still too much to bear. She tried to get her bearings as the cranky barista handed her a latte. She struggled to think of something – anything – to say, but she was tongue tied. Instead, she looked at Killian, finding an openness in his expression that said he felt the same exact way. That gave her comfort and removed some of the tension from the moment.

“The hospital’s been buzzing since you got here,” Emma offered, waiting with him while he ordered a no nonsense coffee of his own. “A lot of people are hoping you’ll stay on past the month.”

“And you, love? Have you such hopes?” his words were earnest but laced with an almost cocky easiness that sent Emma’s mind humming in delight. Still, she played it cool. At least she hoped she did.

“Jury’s still out,” she replied, smiling when he looked a little crestfallen. “Well can you blame me? I hardly even know you. Still haven’t seen what you’re capable of.”

“Only a matter of time, Swan. You can trust in that.”

His words may seem benign, but they were loaded with hidden meaning, and Emma knew he meant each one. She swallowed harshly, thinking of the things he might be capable of. Damn, was it hot in here? Or was it just the devil on her shoulder spinning another one of those dirty dreams of hers?

When they’d all gotten a coffee, the five of them moved off to the patio just outside, reserved for hospital staff. The grounds were manicured beautifully, maintaining an oasis that seemed totally disconnected from the hectic nature of the hospital. This was one of Emma’s favorite places here, and she was surprised to hear that neither David nor Killian had been here yet. They all spent a few minutes making non-threatening small talk, with mostly Ruby moving the conversations along. But despite the fluttering feeling she was grappling with, Emma couldn’t say she hated this building anticipation. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time she had enjoyed herself so much. She was seated next to Killian, fully aware that all of his attention was devoted to her, and she reveled in it. At one point, while the others were talking about something with the OT department, Killian whispered to her and her alone.

“This might be presumptuous of me, love, but I find I’m helpless to resist. I was wondering – that is, I was hoping that perhaps, you and I, we could…” His eyes looked from hers down to her lips, and Emma wet them absentmindedly. She heard a low growl, and realized it was coming from him. She shifted in her seat, turned on in a way she had never been before. Instinctively she moved closer, sensing the sinfully sweet current between them, like lightning just before it cracked across the summer sky.

“We could…” she continued, hoping he would elaborate and put into words what she herself was wishing for.

“That we could -,”

“Paging all staff to the ER. All staff to the ER for an incoming trauma, category 4.”

This time the PA was most definitely broadcasting a hospital wide announcement, and the irony wasn’t lost on Emma. Ruby looked positively forlorn at the interruption, but it was somewhat poetic after how they’d gotten here.

“Category four,” David repeated, standing immediately, prompting all of them to do the same. “We haven’t had a four since I started. We’re gonna need all hands on deck. Killian?”

“Aye, mate. I’m with you.” He looked back to Emma, and only had time for the swiftest goodbye. “Until next time, love.”

Emma and her friends watched them go, running towards the ER. Belatedly, they realized that if a trauma of that magnitude was coming into the hospital, there were bound to be surgical cases flooding their ward soon enough. They hustled back to their wing, focused once more on their jobs and the lives on the line that they were sworn to help heal and make better. But Emma still carried that moment with her for the rest of the day, and when the shift was over and done, and she’d done all she could to help the people in her care, she was left wondering what exactly Doctor Jones was hoping to ask, and when, oh when, he may try to do so again.

Post-Note: So there we have it. This was originally going to be a oneshot for my CS mixtape series, but alas, the muse wants what she wants, and this time that’s a three part mini-story for all of us to share. Hope that you guys have enjoyed so far and I would love to hear what you think! As always, thanks so much for reading, and I hope you are all staying well in this crazy time! xE

#captain swan #captain swan fic #captain swan au #cs fic #cs #cs ff #cs fluff #cs smut #cs meet cute #captain swan meet cute #emma swan #killian jones #ruby lucas #snowing fic #the best bad idea #the best bad idea 1 #cs doctors au #cs medical au #once upon a time

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