#incorrect cbs ghosts

[petemartino]

Pete: I died of natural causes.

Trevor: You were shot with an arrow.

Pete: Are arrows not made of wood, which is natural?

[missielynne]

Flower: When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all? Hetty: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

[roseofithaca]

Jay: I love all our ghosts, except Trevor, or "No Pants" as I call him. Dude has the hots for my wife and even though she says he doesn't try anything with her and is actually a nice guy, I stil don't trust him.

Mike: Our No-Pants ghost tried to kill my wife.

Jay:

[howfrightening]

CBS Ghosts + Tweets/Textposts

[incorrectcbsghostsquotes]

Sam, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe? Hetty: Yeah, sure. *A few minutes later* Hetty: Here you go. Sam: Hetty: Trevor: Why am I here?

[stitchluvsu]

Trevor: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

Pete: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

Sass: A realist sees a freight train.

Alberta: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

[azeofspades]

Sass, exhausted, probably to Flower and Thor: My fucking God, get a room

Patience spawning in from the dirt: GOD DOES NOT FUCK

[plegdoctor]

CBS ghosts as things I’ve said

[ineffable-cringe]

hetty: “i hate all men”

trevor: “…”

hetty: “not you, obviously.”

[sawceelcd]

(they bring Beatrice back with a seance or something)

Isaac: I almost married..

Beatrice: …I see-

Isaac: I almost married a British officer.

Beatrice: ohshit

[rock-n-writing-archaeologist]

Pete: Say no to drugs.

Flower: Say yes to drugs.

Trevor: It doesn't matter if you say yes or no to drugs. If you're talking to drugs.. then you're on drugs.

[petemartino]

Trevor: I like your new pants.

Sam: Oh, thanks, they were 50% off!

Trevor: I'd like them better if they were 100% off, if you know what I mean. Wink wink.

Sam: The store can't just give away clothes for free.

Trevor: That's not what I meant.

Sam: That's a terrible way to run a business, Trevor.

[missielynne]

Flower learns about Hetty AU

Hetty: What do you want to know about me? Where I grew up, went to prep school, came out... Flower: You came out? What are you always sniffing around Trevor for? Hetty (deep sigh): My coming out PARTY! Flower: I know, I heard you! Now you and your special friend can dance together at Disneyland.

[roseofithaca]

-UK and US Ghosts crossover-

Robin: Why they put us together?

Thor: Thor have no idea. Caveman and Viking have nothing in common.

Robin: *grunts*

Thor: *grunts*

Robin: We should hunt them down.

Thor: And take their skin!

Robin and Thor: And display their bloody skulls for all to see-!

Robin: Okay, me get it now.

Thor: Same.

[howfrightening]

Trevor: I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I don’t like her, that is not true!

Trevor: My wife is a bitch and I like her so much!

[incorrectcbsghostsquotes]

Pete: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers! Sass: Please, just say fuck.