#incorrect bbc ghosts

[captains-swaggerstick]

He’s so me I swear.

[moonah-rose]

Robin, apparently:

[little-cereal-draws]

Alison: *moving into the house* we’re all going to be safe and we’re all going to have a good time

Alison: *gets pushed out the window and realizes her house is haunted* what in the Jesus Christ was that?!?!

[ineedpepsi]

thomas: aaaaaaooowww!

captain: what?

thomas: shit! shit! shit!

captain: are you alright?

thomas: shit on it! shit on the bloody thing! oh, shit on it!

captain (to kitty): sorry.

thomas: shit on it! shit on it!

kitty: are you alright?

thomas: course i'm not alright! the shitting thing went up my bloody-

[missielynne]

On the Radio

Pat: And here's the cough button in case you need to cough or clear your throat. And most important, here's an extra-long commercial to use if you need a bathroom break.

Thomas: Thank you, but those won't be necessary. I have no cough reflex, and excellent bladder control.

Fanny: It's true. All the good ones are married.

[incorrect-bbc-ghosts]

*Kitty sneezes*

Captain: Kitty, are you sick? Here, let me wrap you in a blanket and hand-feed you some warm soup while singing you a lullaby!

*Thomas sneezes*

Captain: Oh my god. Shut the hell up.

[saturncodedstarlette]

Detective!Ghost : Punch me in the face!

Y/N : …punch you? 🤨

Detective!Ghost, points to his face : Yes, punch me. In the face. Didn’t you hear me?

Y/N, squints : I always hear “punch me in the face” when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.

Detective!Ghost, rolls his eyes : Oh, for god’s sakes.

Detective!Ghost, smacks them hard across the face :

Y/N, gasps : 😨😵‍💫

Y/N, returns the punch to his face :

Detective!Ghost, stumbles a bit : Thank you. That was …that was…

Y/N, continues to punch him in the gut :

Y/N, puts Ghost in a headlock : You ought to remember, Ghost, I was a soldier! I killed people!

Detective!Ghost, struggles to break free : You were a doctor!

Y/N, grips harder : I had bad days!

[jupiterslifelessmoons]

[daisymintt]

Gwaine: Wha- how’d you know about the treaty with the Druids?

Merlin: How did I-? Yes- Well, I heard Arthur talk about in his sleep last night. I watch him sleep sometimes. And he is a sleep talker.

Arthur: [worried] What else have you heard me say?

Merlin: Oh, you know. Lot of things.

[Merlin walks off leaving Arthur worried and Gwaine confused]

[l-alan-l]

gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide also applies to the Captain

[incorrecthatchetfield]

Ruth: She's the girl of my dreams!

Pete: You say every girl is the girl of your dreams.

Ruth: I have a lot of dreams.

[captains-swaggerstick]

[moonah-rose]

Mike: Uh, babe? The hotel just sent us through a bill for the electricity use in the room.

Alison: What?! How could we have used that much? There's only a couple of lights, a laptop and a TV!

-cut to Higham Suite-

Mia: So Sharona told my secret to the entire class and now no one will talk to me!

Light: *flashes in morse code*

Mia, writes down translation: Ur friend is insecure and jel of u. U should eat her.

Mia: That's what I thought but Nana Betty says trying to bite people isn't "ladylike".

Light: *flashes in morse code*

Mia, translates: Eat her too.

[little-cereal-draws]

Thomas: Even though the builders are here it’s been so dull since lovely Alison and Michael moved out. It’s gotten to the point where today I was excited when Michael called

Thomas:

Thomas: Wow, I never thought I would say that

Thomas: Unless the rest of the sentence was “out helplessly from the bottom of the elevator shaft”

[oxfordsnotr0gues]

Robin: I want to be like a caterpillar.

Julian : Explain.

Robin: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful.

Mary: You know they have a lifespan of a week, right?

Robin:

Robin: That's just another highlight!

[missielynne]

Thomas: The wine and the heat must have made me dizzy.

Alison: Yes, it is rather steamy in here.

Thomas: I apologise for the lack of air conditioning. It seems in order to live in an exclusive landmark building, one must have to sweat through the odd heat wave like a tortured character in a...

[trails off as Alison lifts her shirt up to get air from the fan]

Thomas: ... Tennessee... Williams... play.