#incorrect dream smp quotes

[khyrrn-v2]

Ranboo: did neither of you think this was a bad idea?!!?

Tubbo: oh, no, we did

Tommy: we just decided to do it anyways

[anns-works]

Tommy: OH MY GOD, SAM! SAM!

Dream: ˢʰʰ, ˢᵃᵐ'ˢ ᵃˢˡᵉᵉᵖ.

Tommy: ᴼʰ, ˢᵒʳʳʸ.

Dream: ᵂʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ᵘᵖˀ

Tommy: ᵀʰᵉʳᵉ'ˢ ᵃ ᶠᶦʳᵉ.

[vociferous-chaos]

Quackity: Dream and Sapnap are screaming and shouting outside. Don't you think you should do something?

George: You're right, I should.

George: *closes the window*

[a-capricorn-ohfuckthat]

philza: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

tommy: Several traffic violations.

techno: Three counts of resisting arrest.

wilbur: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

y/n: Also, that’s not our car.

[disturbed-and-depressed]

Technoblade: Do you wanna know how I really hurt my wrist?

Tommy: Yes

Technoblade: I was hoola hooping. Philza, Y/n and I attended a class for fitness and fun.

Tommy: Oh my god

Technoblade: I’ve mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle.

Tommy: Why are you telling me this?

Technoblade: Because no one will ever believe you

Tommy: You sick son of a bitch

[hatchetislostpog]

Quackity: I have fallen madly in love with you.

Y/n: Everyone does, darling. I'm a very loveable person.

Quackity: No, I'm seriously in love with you; this isn't me pretending. I love you.

Y/n: Oh...

[dsmp-incorrect-quotes]

cc!Techno: You're trying to use my ego against me?

cc!Tommy: I thought it'd work.

cc!Techno: No it worked. I'll do it.

[tmmyhug]

dream smp as miiverse screenshots (with help from @voidandradiance)

[faeyrs]

good evening tntduoers

[bumbookitten]

Crew boys + Y/n

Y/n:If you bite it and you die,it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous

Dream:What if it bites me and it dies?

George: Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Dream learn to listen

Sapnap: What if it bites itself and I die?

Karl:That's voodoo

Quackity: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Dream:That's correlation, not causation

George:What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Quackity: That's kinky

Y/n: Oh My God

[claire7491]

OK BUT WHICH ONE DO YOU PREFER?!?!!?

"Come on, look at me, love", he says gently, smiling at you, his eyes crinkling as he does. It's hard to explain, but you've never felt so comforted and appreciated as you do from Wilbur's presence.

His hand is still on your cheek, and he strokes your face softly. "You look beautiful, you have nothing to be embarrassed about, love."

His voice is soft, and he keeps a soft expression on his face, but the corner of his mouth seems to be quirked up in a smile.

OR

His hand gently grabs yours. Your hand fits perfectly into his palm, and he smiles.

"Look into my eyes."

There's no longer any humor behind his words. His voice is completely deadpan, and it fills you with the sinking feeling that there's no way out of this. There's an intensity behind his gaze now.

"That's an order", he says, his own eyes not averting from your own.

[khyrrn-v2]

Dream: You cannot kill me in a way that matters

Tommy: You wanna fuckin bet?

[anns-works]

Technoblade: I know it's you Dream.

Dream, internally: Quick, play dumb!

Dream:... Who's Dream?

Dream, internally: NOT THAT DUMB!

[tang0w0tek]

Actual dsmp lore bits that I don't think we talk about much

- Sally was never retconned, it's been two years and STILL it is canon that c!Wilbur fucked a fish and somehow Fundy was born

- c!Sapnap is c!BBH's son

- c!Dream has a hidden bunker under c!Tommy's old hillside base (which is honestly creepy as fuck–)

- It is also apparently canon that c!Wilbur reproduces asexually and birthed c!Fundy from his toe (don't ask–)

- c!Tommy just wanted the Egg to tell c!BBH to swear

- c!Tommy made his own therapy business once and I don't remember how it went tbh but I'm guessing not well

- c!Fundy is canonically trans (although that might've been retconned idk– I hope not though–) (update: yes it was retconned)

- cc!Purpled was late to the L'Manburg duel stream because he was out eating a burrito and everyone started streaming "War!" but traffic caused him and his (brother? sibling? Idk whoever drove Purpled to the burrito place) to get home late

- people in cc!Jack's chat called him Jack L'Manifold in his first dsmp or first L'manburg stream which is an epic pun

- mexican dream's ghost is just in a cursed class by himself. I remember watching that stream after a driver's ed zoom meeting at my aunt's house and being like "what the fuck what is going on"

- c!Puffy sued c!Jack for hotel ownership (Puffy being on Tommy's side, but of course now the hotel got fUCKING BLOWN UP– WHY MUST EVERYTHING ON THIS SERVER GET BLOWN UP HHHH)

– c!Sapnap was addicted to blaze powder and was actually one of the drug van's best customers

- DreamXD is a huge c!George simp

-  c!Fundy said he read the Warrior cats books and asked c!Schlatt and c!Quackity if they knew what they were (ty to @echolocati0n-art for letting me know the warriors thing was real)

[a-capricorn-ohfuckthat]

Wilbur: *making a speech*

Y/n: *stubs their toe* fuck fuck fuckity fuck

Wilbur: a very eloquent addition, y/n, thank you

[disturbed-and-depressed]

Dream: Sapnap, you'll be working with Karl and Y/n.

Sapnap: Alright! My fantasy threesome!

Everyone else: *blank stares*

Sapnap: ...Of people on a team.