Will, giving advice to James and Lucie: Marry someone who looks sexy while disappointed.
Tessa: *gives Will a disappointed look*
Will: See?
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Y/n: They are not hideous.
Kol, blinking at them: What?
Y/n: Damon and Stefan. They're really quite good-looking, not hideous at all.
Kol: I spoke of the pitch-black inner depths of their souls.
Y/n, snorting: And what color do you suppose the inner depths of your soul are, Kol Mikaelson?
Kol: Mauve.
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Incorrect Quote
Y/N: You don't think I can fight because of my gender!
Jason, signing: No, I don't think you can because you're in a wedding dress.
Jason: For the record I don't think Freddy could fight in that dress either.
Freddy: Maybe not, but I'd make a radiant bride.
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tessa: and if jem told you to jump off a cliff would you do it?
will: [looks at jem]
jem: [shakes his head]
will: no, i would not
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Magnus: Unhand me you egg-sucking, lily-livered, jive-talking whackadoo! Foul villain! Cur! I bite my thumb at thee, you ugly motherfucker, so hasta la bye-bye, daddy-o!
Asmodeus:
Asmodeus: just tell me to fuck off like a normal child
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Tessa: Alright, so I'm in love with Will.
Sophie:
Tessa: Thoughts?
Sophie: And prayers.
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Magnus is cooking
Catarina: Any chance that’s for me?
Magnus: It’s for Tessa. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need her on my side.
Ragnor: I never realised the forethought that went into being a disappointment.
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Kol, in a doorway: Ah, having your annual 'everyone thinks Kol is a lunatic' meeting, are you?
Elijah: It's biannual. And no, this is not that meeting.
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Will: Tessa and I are no longer dating.
Tessa: Will, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.
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Karlach: He’s hideous!
Tav: He’s not actually.
Karlach: What? Who?
Tav: Lord Enver Gortash. He’s actually quite attractive.
Karlach: I was referring to the pitch black inner depths of his soul.
Tav: And what color is your soul, Karlach?
Karlach: …Mauve.
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Gabriel: Idiot.
Will: That fact is well established and adds nothing to the conversation.
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William: As it is everyone thinks Sel’s a lunatic-
Sel: Ah, having your annual everyone-thinks-Sel-is-a-lunatic meeting?
William: It’s biannual. And no, this is not that meeting.
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Alec: It’s the gift that keeps giving!
Will: It’s the flower that keeps blooming!
Jem: It’s the boat that keeps sailing!
Annabel: It’s the serial killer that keeps stabbing!
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kit: when i was a young boy
kit: my father
kit: was a young boy
jem: is this another one of your teen dad jokes
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Will: Alright, I’m not mad, I just want to know why you have a fake I.D.
Lucie: *mumbles*
Will: What was that?
Lucie: …You have to be 18 to hold the puppies at PetCo.
Will: That’s what I thought.
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Friendly fucking reminder that Jem loved Tessa so much all the silent brothers in the world are in love with her too.
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