#ipads fucking with my style rn

[aghxst]

Little sacrifices and such. One of those rings is Essi’s right? Right.

[puppyyboyy]

huge vent under the thingy

.

im really selfish i think, like i dont really do much for people and i dont like to talk to people anymore as much as i used to but i think im just scared of people now. my parents pulled me out of school so i wouldnt be bullied but i think it just made my social anxiety worse

im also really sensitive and cry easily and i dont like that, yesterday i almost started crying because i couldnt find a room number in school (i was there for exams) that was super embarrassing

today is my brothers birthday and he has special needs and i feel bad because he has no friends to celebrate his birthday and my sister left the house to go hangout with her boyfriend so its only my mom, dad and me there for him on his birthday and i feel so bad and im like miserable right now and i woke up really upset because i was almost late for my exam and i definitely failed it because i guessed on almost question and i talked about college today and my plans with my guidance counselor at school and she talked about what im gonna do after highschool and i dont know what i wanna do because i thought i was gonna kms at 11 years old and not have anything else ahead of me and im so lost now and i dont even know what to do anymore

and im crying because i cant stop thinking about all the stuff thats gone wrong in my life and if i did things differently i couldve been happier and a better person

and i feel bad cuz im ignoring literally everyone rn whos texting me and im just sitting on my bedroom floor crying and writing this lmao im literally venting on tumblr💀 how did i get this bad omg. i could use my notes app to vent but i also want someone to read this, like anyone idc who im not even asking for help i just wanna be seen in a way i think

and my head is always full of ideas and thoughts and its hard to do anything because its always racing and i dont like it at all and i cant ever find the right words to get all these thoughts out or draw them out because i make art but irs not good it sucks and i hate my art style and i hate how i cant draw poses right or render correctly it pisses me off

my sister is really good at art, she goes to college for it and is way better then me and my parents are always praising her about her art and i feel like ill never be as good as her with anything, shes an honors student and graduated almost top of her class and president of the art club at her highschool (currently my highschool) and i got pulled into a bunch of shit when i made friends at highschool and they are all older then me and have so much drama and i feel like no matter who im friends with i cant be friends with the other people i wanna be friends with because they have drama together and if im one persons friend then i cant be the other persons friend because then im a bad person and i just hate it so much i hate beiing around people and i hate having to pick sides and i wish i could kms and i wouldnt have to deal with anything anymore

and then with my sister- anything i do or make art of my parents are like "cool!" and move on with their rlife and when my sister does art they post it on their facebook and show other family members and praise her so fucking much. im not saying i want all that but it feels like they dont even care

and i also noticed i get less things at Christmas and on my birthday now ever since i came out as trans to my extended family like my grandparents and uncle and aunt, my sister and brother get a bunch of shit and ill get some books and some other shit i dont even want or asked for but my sister gets money and a bunch of shit she asked for (expensive things) and my brother gets new electronics every fucking year. he got the newest iphone and a ipad and a fucking 3d printer last christmas???? and i got books and a 20$ Michaels gift card? its so unfair i with i was cis and my family would like me more itd not even about the gifts its just in general they got so distant and weird with me i feel so odd when i go to family events

sexual talk here- and i feel really gross a lot of the time cuz im sexual a lot and i wish i wasnt because i always feel gross and idk it makes me feel weird i guess its just hormones and a trauma response from when i was younger but i just feel weird especially when im alone and im being sexual i feel gross after and i dont know why im like this

theres so much on my mind and im just like AGHHHH!!!!!! i wanna cut myself and bleed out everywhere istg (i wont actually cuz im very afraid of physical pain)

[foreverrunningfree]

@czigonas wanted to see me answer those artist questions and I did them all so it’ll be under the cut

1. Art programs you have but don’t use?

As of rn I cannot draw on my laptop/tablet so technically paint tool SAI and photoshop(idk what version). But I guess I hadn’t used photoshop for /years/ back before my drawing hiatus. Sorry but SAI is so much nicer to look at and to use, for me personally.

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left,right, or forward?

I flip flop my canvas a ton to a) look at it for wonkiness and b) to get specific lines in a direction that feels good, but the actual act of drawing I typically like to have them looking left cause most the the lines flow from top right to bottom left which is nicer to do since I use my right hand to draw even tho I am ambidextrous.

3. What ideas come from when you were little?

This question confuses me on what it’s actually asking soooo? When I was like 12 I had to write a story for school so I did a story about a plane crash in which the survivor came face to face to a rat/bat/cat/dog creature thing? I’ve always wanted to redraw the creature, idk if I have the original drawing I did and I don’t feel up to digging to see if I kept it during all my moves.

4. Fave character/subject that’s a bitch to draw?

My favorite animal color patterns aka brindle, merle ,roan, spots/stripes. So time consuming. In terms of shape, human faces for sure.

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself?

Before hiatus, probably 90% /shared/. Currently, probably 75% /posted/cause I can’t post the porn to tumblr lmaoooo but I have shared them with like half a dozen friends.

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously?

I’m sure there’s a ton but if it’s subconsciously then how would I consciously know?🤔 ok serious answer, probably every single 2D animated movie or show I’ve ever seen, and all the various artists I follow. I mean, there’s parts of my style I can pinpoint you to what it’s inspired by.

7. A medium of art you don’t work in but appreciate?

I’ve never /seriously/ tried oil paint, acrylic paint, or pastels but that shit always looks so good. Also watercolor even though i have tried and enjoyed using watercolors but I am far far faaarrr from being proficient in them. Non drawing wise, I fucking love dioramas, especially those that are then filled in(?) with acrylic(?). I watch a lot of those videos on YouTube.

8. What’s an old project idea you’ve lost interest in?

Most of my old animal ocs I had in the same universe in my mind and had a comic planned that I never got around to. I still love and wanna revisit those ocs. But also my dragon age ocs who I’ve SERIOUSLY BEEN CONSIDERING drawing in @soaps-hoe-141 universe 👀

9. What are your file name conventions?

Before hiatus/ on my laptop, subject or character and whatever was happening in the pic. Now using procreate on my iPad? I don’t think I’ve named a single one lol.

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw?

Nothing, no clothes, nude, nakedness please and thank you. lol but I guess I do sorta enjoy figuring out clothing in general, folds and shit, getting that practice in. Like how it hangs and creases in poses since I’m not used to drawing it.

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing?

I don’t usually listen to /only/ music while drawing, I much prefer having a favorite movie playing in the background and/or a show I enjoy rewatching/am actively watching. I also watch a lot of gamer YouTubers I put on as background noise/short watch breaks that their voice is just soothing to me even if I’m not /watching/.

12. Easiest part of the body to draw?

I’m not sure… maybe boobs/pecs for humanoids. General body shape for animals?

13. A creator you admire but whose work isn’t your thing?

Honestly can’t think of a single one. I mean, plenty of artists do work(or with a medium) that I can’t or don’t want to do/use personally but I read the question of “isn’t your thing” as “subject you don’t enjoy”. If that’s correct, then idk what to tell you. I don’t follow or remember people who majority does things I can’t enjoy on some level.

14. Any fave motifs?

Quite a lot of religious imagery I guess ex. Circles around a persons head. Less serious answer is drawing characters in meme formats lol

15. Where do you draw?

Please don’t tell any physical therapists I live like this… on my back on my couch with my head on the arm rest while holding my iPad propped up on my chest like 8 inches away from my face lmao

16. Something you are good at but don’t really have fun doing?

Idk???? I do shit for my own enjoyment so I’m not sure? Maybe perhaps backgrounds? Like I could do something decent if i wanted to but I’m not into it so I usually just don’t?

17. Do you eat or drink while drawing?

I take breaks… but while actively drawing? I often drink aka let the horny demons out while I enjoy whiskey lol.

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you’ve broken?

Broken broken? Next to fucking none? some charcoal sticks but otherwise…. None… I majority do digital art so really nothing to break there lol

19. Fave inanimate objects to draw?

Idk? I like doing life charcoal drawings? Of whatever, but particularly statues if that counts? I usually have living beings as my subjects.

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy?

Ok, I hate this question, cause we are all good at different things. Maybe it’s just most of those I follow have different strengths than me???? But I guess if I had to pick, recreating from life(or picture) is a lot easier for me than some others(like making it life like/very accurate).

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways?

Yooo, anything I’ve reblogged honestly. Love everyone.

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing?

Absolutely none, again don’t let the pros know cause damn. But I will do stretches or take breaks as needed.

23. Do you use different layer modes?

Absolutely. Mostly for lighting and shading but yes, if I’m doing digital imma take advantage of it.

24. Do your references include stock images?

Yes? I don’t really understand what it’s asking?

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were not inspired by?

Idk? I don’t usually get feedback of that sort.

26. What’s a piece that’s viewed a wildly different interpretation from what you intended?

Again idk? I guess my shit is straight forward?

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff?

Almost never, again don’t let the pros know lol I do sometimes jump between pieces or start a new sketch before going to something farther along.

28. Any art events you have participated in, like zines?

Nope, wanted to and have tried before but I tend to NOT do something if I feel pressured to do it.

29. Media you love but doesn’t inspire you artistically?

Again I feel like this is a weird question or maybe it’s just my understanding of it but I can feel inspiration from all sort of artist shit even if it’s something I’ll never do(ex making a crochet animal or dioramas). I guess I can feel inspired to create from other creators even if it’s not direct inspiration/subject/medium.

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated?

Underrated as in no one has seen aside from a few people irl would be my colored pencil pieces I did during afternoon naps when I worked at a daycare a few years ago.

[pidgecv]

pre-bed thought dump so i can actually sleep without too many thought swirling around and clogging up my brain (my friends r all asleep so i can’t spam them instead 😔)

i miss turtle posting btw i’ve decided to do more turtle posting again (probs starting tomorrow w some sketches i’ve been hoarding or smth)

man my tumblr activity graph is gonna be wack anyways i finished reading orv, cried a few times, i’m emotionally devastated but at least FINALLY the boy is implied to be back. I have dnd at 9:30am and i have NOT told my parents (worse case i’ll walk there) yet i am. so tired. but my brain is zooming. i can not read very well. but my brain is ZOOMING.

here is a collection of some of my fav late orv chapters (a lot of them aren’t included bc i got tired of taking screenshots every damn chapter istg) ((also i read most of the novel ages ago now so this is from my recent “so the nightmare begins again” bout of hyperfixation))

i think i saved a fuck ton of lines i liked from some of the earlier chapters on my ipad but i don’t think i set my ipad to nightlight earlier and i’m not up for getting blue light biden blasted rn

i’ll go back to turtle posting pretty soon i think since last time i hyperfixated on orv i speedran the stages of hyperfixation and this time i’m even out of novel to read. i have reached my very own conclusion. my phone is lagging to hell when i type it’s taking my letters around a second to appear on the screen but i’m not exactly typing any slower so it backlogs and i can just sit there and watch the words be typed if i go fast enough lollll.

i’ve gotta draw raph in my au man. i gotta make him interesting bc i love him he is literally wonderful i just really suck at drawing him and leo bc rise is an artstyle that’s a total 180 from the stuff i’ve drawn previously. i continue to amass more art styles, soon no one will be safe. I just want to do them justice. they’re not the main character but they’re important and i feel bad for not fleshing them out well yet. i want to write them well and i want to write them with importance. i want every character i write to be with a purpose. to have potential for their own stories. i don’t want them to be hollow side characters, and the first step to achieving that is giving them designs i love. i love to look at and draw. i’ve achieved that with donnie and mikey and i’m starting to with leo but i’m so intimidated by raph because as important as he is as a character to the story i want to write he is by far the hardest for me to draw in the way that i think fits. in the way that i want. because i know what i want in his design and character, but i can’t quite get it right in the context of the artstyle i want to draw my au in. might have to bend some of the stylistic rules i set for myself to get him to work unfortunately.

[ribbedpleasure]

im about to go absolutely bananabonkers. I’m currently hiding in my bfs bathroom (and have been for the past 2 hours - it is 8am) so I can openly weep from the severity of this chronic pain flare, anyone who I can converse with in this time of need is asleep, and my bfs parents are being SO LOUD around their unusually creaky house so I keep getting FNAF jumpscared by what replicates a beam in the ceiling fucking snapping. I am so hungry but I can’t move to go get food. out of stress, i lacerated my arm trichotillomania-style and it also really fucking hurts. I have a blocked nose and a slightly sore throat from this horrible unrelated cold. my body is on fire and I want to go to bed. i have slept 2 hours. my phone is also dead and I’m typing this on my ipad like a 7 year old. said ipad is on 9%. frankly, can death be scarier than the life I lead rn?

[melioramuses]

We just bought a house four months ago and I fucking hate it. The most recent problem? I plugged in my iPad’s charger and the outlet sizzled and sparked.

The other issues? You wouldn’t believe the amount of crap. (Cut for length)

- The kitchen cabinets are hung crooked - He covered a fucking air vent with the cabinets - The bathroom door hits the toilet - The shittily-done DIY laminate hardwood flooring in the dining room has a 2″x6″ gap where it’s just subfloor bc I guess the moron (PO/previous owner) couldn’t math - When PO redid the kitchen (which he DIYed, obviously), he moved where the stove is supposed to be, except he didn’t move the gas hookup. Instead he just made a massive cut-out in the side of the cabinet beside the stove and snaked it through to the stove. - The vent hood for the stove plugs into the wall via the pantry. How? He snaked it, again, of course! Through a fucking wall. Also, the vent hood doesn’t actually vent outside. - Window that doesn’t open in the living room - NO AIR VENTS IN THE LIVING ROOM OR KITCHEN SO THEY’RE SWELTERING RN - Ceiling fan lights in both of my kids’ rooms except PO took the blades off? - The motherfucker painted over wood rot on the deck - The bathroom tiling in the tub is missing spots in the grout so mold gets there, I have to frequently wipe it down with mold & mildew spray (like, daily) - NOT A SINGLE DOOR is hung correctly (they’re all crooked with jambs not properly squared up), none of them are the same size, and the dude used multiple different styles of screws and even FREAKING NAILS to hang them, anyway - The kitchen cabinets don’t go all the way through the corner. You know how much would have a lazy susan or at least a very-awkward-to-get-into cabinet there? Nah, he just wedged two cabinets together and there’s empty space under that portion of the countertop, buuut he also didn’t SEAL the countertop so there’s a frequent waft of moisture you can smell every time the air kicks on and the vent he covered kicks the smell around. So we can’t do anything about this or the vent issue until we can afford to pull this crappy kitchen out entirely and replace it (professionally, not DIY like his dumb ass did, tho I’m sure even we would do it better).

I’m so done. lmao This isn’t even an exhaustive list, and doesn’t include things like the fact that there was randomly a FUCKING GUN HE LEFT IN THE CRAWLSPACE? And various shit like that. He didn’t leave a forwarding address for his mail, either, and my guess is so no one would track him and down and kick his ass for this disaster flip.

[agentpaint]

So I was doing some research for something I’m planning, and I realized how much I miss the DS.

Like looking back on it, that thing was my rock. I took that thing everywhere. The GBA holds a special place in my heart for being my first gaming device, but the DS was on another level.

I don’t want to post pictures rn (maybe I’ll do that when I get my blog running on my neocites) but back when I was a kid I carried around a HUGE case that held all of my DS games.

Looking back on it, I was a fucking lunatic for that, someone could have easily stolen all of my DS games or I could’ve lost them all!

In fact, that did happen! But not to this case in specific. My original GBA and games was stolen and I lost a smaller bag of DS and games, miraculously the 2nd one was returned to me safely.

Anyways, I never went anywhere without my DS. I was basically an iPad kid with this thing, but the games were all physical.

I still have all if my games actually, but no convenient way to play them. My original DS won’t turn on anymore, and my attempts to buy them on ebay have went poorly with broken hinges.

I have a 3DS, but honestly I really, REALLY don’t like the Circle Pad. It’s worse than the D-Pad and the D-Pad is in awkward position to use for long periods of time.

But back on topic, while doing my research, I decided to look up DS games and I was hit with more nostalgia than I realized I had.

Pokemon, Mario, Cooking Mama, Nintendogs, Brain Age, Kirby, Starfy, Warioware DIY, Megaman Zero, Diddy Kong Racing, Bomberman, Clubhouse Games

A lot of these were games that I haven’t thought about in years but when I saw the box arts all of the memories came flooding back.

But what I also noticed when looking through this list was how many iconic games there were I didn’t play

Ace Attorney, Ghost Trick, Zelda, Animal Crossing, TWEWY, Rhythm Heaven, Sonic, Trauma Center, Style Savvy, Professor Layton, Scribblenauts,

Obviously I was a Nintendo kid with a strong Pokemon/Mario/Kirby bias, but it’s surprising at how many fantastic games went right under my nose.

I kinda have an itch to go back and play all of these games and maybe some licensed/shovelware games? Maybe even on stream?

But then the problem becomes that I’d have to emulate them to capture the game, unless I wanna break the bank on a 3DS capture card.

And here’s where my problem comes in: I don’t like DS emulation. It’s one of if not the most impossible experience to emulate. The dual screens, the touch screen, the clam shell design, all of it cannot be realistically emulated on a PC or a phone.

Playing a DS game this way is too much of a compromised experience for me, and I can’t see myself enjoying it, even when streaming.

And it really upsets me because what are you supposed to do about it? The 3DS is out of production, and unless the Switch’s successor is planned to have a dual screen then the legacy of the DS is impossible to preserve.

We’ve already seen this with ports of DS games coming to Switch and other consoles. They have to make do with a pop up picture in the corner or completely redesign the game for an arguably worse control scheme.

It really sucks because again, unless this form factor comes back DS ports will always have to be compromised in a way that harms their preservation.

And unfortunately the emulation device market haven’t tried out a dual screen device yet either, I guess it’s too niche or maybe the DS isn’t retro enough to consider it being worth it.

Maybe someday this niche demand will be recognized, I’m sure as we move further away from the 3DS era more will recognize this. Hopefully either Nintendo or an emulator device maker will see the demand and make something along the lines of a DS Mini like the NES/SNES Mini, but not mini because it’s already a handheld.

They did already try something similar with the Zelda Game and Watch, so I hope they try a Gameboy/Gameboy Advance someday, although that would still mean we’d have to wait longer for a DS. Maybe they could skip? I doubt it.

This is why I’m putting my hopes into the emulation device market. There’s a lot of issues with those devices, but it’s far more realistic to see one of them attempt a DS device than Nintendo right now.

Wow I talked for a while. Sorry for the long post!

[boobersandstuff]

Hello! Ok for context before the achall post, ice listened to Taylor swift all my life, BUT I only listened to the rlly popular songs, watched the music videos or just heard a snippet of one of her songs. And ever since midnights came out I've been listening to all of her albums 1 by 1. So far I've listened to:

Midnights

Reputation

Speak now

Lover

Folklore

And evermore.

And now I'm going to listen to 1989 for the first time, let's go!

Welcome to new York.: I remember listening to the chorus in a secret world of pets and that's it. Is this song abt her first experience in NYC? Kinda repetitive but it's a pop anyways so eh. Sold 8/10 very good 👍.

Blank space: I remember just rewatching the music video we downloaded on my ipad when I was 5. SO GOOD AHHHH!! Nostalgia! I know it off by hand lmao. IM BOPPINH SO HARD RN AHHHHH 10/10 PERFECT!!!

Style: I've heard the beginning and that's it I think. MIDNIGHTS!?!?/jk lol. Nvm I've heard all of it but idk from were? Probably tiktok lol. ITS SUCH A BOP! STYLE STYLE!! WOOOO !!! WE NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE style!!! QHHHHHH 10/10 SO FUCKING GOOD!!! IM FUCKING DANCING 💃

Out of the woods: I know it from her miss Americana doco from netflix and man I love it! It's in my top 5 switie songs. Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? ARE WE OUT OF THE WOODS YET!!! IM FUCKING BOP!!! AH THE BRIDGE IS MY FAV PART (said by no swiftie ever/s lol) THE ENDING PART AJHHH 1000000000/10 AHHHHHH 💗💕💙🧡💟🧡💜💃🕺💃💃🕺💃💃💃💃

All you had to do was stay: now I've never heard or listened to this song before so this is gonna be fun! WHAT!? IM POGGING! ITS SO BOPPY AH! STAY! I'm vibing. I'm dancing it's good! (Stay!) Don't worry past Taylor you have Joe now so your pretty good! 9/10 rlly good but not a 10, idk why it just isn't to me. Still amazing.

Shake it off: this the meme song too me. I can't even dance to it cuz I've herd it way too many times and it's just funny! All I can think of is tommy joking abt it lmao! I CANT SRSLY CUZ OF TOMMYINNIT KEKW. 5/10 BLAME TOMMY!!! ik all the words to it cuz of it being played 24/7!!!

I wish you would: again a brand new song! Let's see it! Bop, it's definitely a bop. Nothing idk now from the songs before. It's good but isn't giving me that energy like the last couple of songs, STILL RLLY GOOD just isn't making me get up and dance. 6-7/10 just isn't give that energy.

Bad blood: I remember watching the music video when it came out and being confused, I looked at here to check that I wasn't misrembering it. Nope. it looks the exact how I remember. I don't like it! WHY ARE THEIR NAMES THERE I DONT CARE!!! take away their names and it'd be 1000% better in my oppion. Anyways the songs pretty good 👍. Nothing to add it's cachy and good. Solid 8/10. The music video made it lose 2 points. Again the bridge is the best part lol.

Wildest dreams: imma be honest, I've listened to the TV first and never heard the og. And I'm listening to the TV first then the og cuz I rlly love the TV. (TV 10/10 comfort listen.) It's deffo different. The pace different. Her voice is higher but that's abt it. It's like listening to a nightcore cover of a song lol. Og I'd give it an 10/10 + 1 . The exstra point is for the nightmare esc different lol.

How you get the girl: new song YIPPEE!! I'm swaying. It's pretty bopping. I'm vibing! YOOO THE chorus YAAAA. IM DANCING!!! that kisses on cheeks line was pretty gay ngl lol. The ending is good. 9/10 very good!

This love: again new song! But there's a TV of it out rn so imma listen to that insted. It's giving lover/folklore mashup. IT LITCHERALLY SAID CARDENAGAIN!!! WTF HAHAHA!!! it's very nice. Idk what to say it's just rlly good! TV 9/10 very good 👍. I wonder who this songs abt? Hm. Smth for me to google later lol. It's a nice palet clenzer for the playlist to not get burnt out on the bop. Also the TV is exactly the same.

I know places: is it just me or is the beat the exact same as shake it off or is it just me? Anyways it's good. IM POGGING YOOOOO!!! IM VINING AGAIN YOOO!!! It's giving the archer. 10/10 very good!

Clean: I remember listening to a snippet of the song on tiktok but i dong remember it lol. Ok this is very different from any of her songs. I'm vibing. I'm semi-pogging. It's pretty good. It's achally rlly good wtf hahaha! WHAT WAS THAT LINE "the water filled my lungs, I Screamed so loud but no one heard a thing" WTF!? TAYLOR HONEY R U OK!? WHAT HAPPEND!? also that was a very good lyric very good! I just clocked the lyrics wth!? Omg it's so sad but so good. 10/10 I love it. "Just because your clean doesn't know you don't miss it" TAYLOR!!? THATS SO SAD!! IM GONNA CRY!!! (Also I relate he 😜🤪😝) . Why is it so sad T T. I'm crying!!! It's so sad. WAHHHHHH.

Wonderland: I remember watching a music video of the same name (or at leased similar cuz of the mv) and I've never listened to TV so let's go. It's giving Christmas lol. SHES RAPPING LETS GOOOO YESSS YOOOO!!! I'm vibing. YOOOO THE PRODUCTION LETS GOOOO YESSSS. "And whispers turned to talk, and talking turned to screams" cough relate cough cough 0-0. Fuxk yeah! This is a song I wanna learn off by heart! Ah it's so good!!! 10/10 maybe my fav song in the album.

You are in love: the title reminds me of that one Disney sing from Hercules. MIDNIGHTS O! very slow. It's rlly good! It's giving dancing with our hands tied and that's a complement! Aw I'm so happy for you Taylor //^ ^//. It's giving ✨queer✨ for that best friend line. My favourite line was that best friends line. 9/10 very good! Very gay!

New romantics: holy shit! I wasn't expecting semi-rapping & kinda aro lyrics ngl. ITS A POP YOOOO!!! IM VIBING AND POGGING AND FUCK!!! I'm smiling sm to this :D. This is my favourite! I love it ❤ ♥ 💕 💓 . 20/10 AH! LETS GOOOO YES!!!

Now I have questions

What's these? And what did they sound like?

Favourite songs from this album:

1.) New Romantics

2.) You are in love

3.) Out of the woods

4.) Wildest dreams (tv)

5.) Clean

[thepictureofsdr]

Hi. I love your Thomastair art and your artstyle and was wondering if you could tell me a little more about your process (I assume you draw digitally)

I've only been drawing digitally myself for a couple of weeks so I'm curious how other people do it.

this is so FUCKING OLD but i told myself id answer it even if this info is useless to you now bc NO ASK GETS LEFT BEHIND IM SO SORRY IVE THOUGHT ABOUT TTHIS EVERY SINGLE DAY IM SO SERIOUS i was in an art block for so long 😭

i will cry tysm you’re so nice i really need to get back into it

YES DIGITAL ART IS SO FUN what program are you using? i use procreate on the ipad

my process is an absolute fucking nightmare im the person those art accounts warn you about it’s really bad

i start out w a really messy sketch, usually a colour blob to draw lines over and establish guides. i go over the sketch 2-3 cleaning it up until i end up w something like the right, just usually a little messier, i clean it up and edit and change colour as needed along the way. i kinda hate line art, i never do it, clean sketches work so much better for me.

for colouring, i block out the biggest areas w one colour, then use clipping mask on that section i block out smaller sections on different layers, like the skin is a different layer from the dress, this makes colouring a lot easier if youre not doing a more traditional paint style at least imo

then it comes down to individually colouring everything. im a HUGE fan of lighting so i start off w a warm overlay, ESPECIALLY for this one since its firelight but you can tell by anything else ive done that’s its usually the case. it looks really weird rn but trust the process. then i usually go in w a dark purple on multiply for shadows. i do it on multiple different layers, smudging some, some have darker opacities to have darker effects in certain areas etc etc and editing the line work where its needed and adding more lines for detail.

this is also when i sort a background out if needed to make sure the lighting works. then to continue the nightmare on even MORE layers, i do the lighting. some blurred and some lines, in places where the light would hit as well as some face details like blush now that the lighting colours are done.

this isn’t the best i kinda fucked up her face w the colouring i like the sketch sm more but also that’s part of improving and ive been out of it for a while its a new years resolution to stay on top of art, but this has been my general process for a while. its a literal fucking nightmare i use close to or over 100 layers on anything more than a sketch but its really helpful if you’re a bit anxious and want to be able to go back and switch things out. its kinda hard to maneuver with but its worth it for me. once again this is so old you probably dont even care anymore but i needed to answer it at the very least for my conscience im SO SORRY

[pakchoys]

Just out of curiosity because I only just realised you’re 18 and got a shock... how long have you been doing digital art? As a prev asker has commented, just mind-boggled over your art ability...

oh wow thank u so much !!! i first tried digital art when i was about 10, so 8 years! i started out on those free sketchbook apps on ipad that you use with your finger. abt 3 years ago i got an ipad pro and procreate (best £3 app of my life)

tbh i only feel like i’ve fully ‘mastered’ digital art recently and even then i have a ways to go. i was teaching it all to myself and didn’t think to look at tutorials or anything, so it probably took longer than it should’ve? but like, only this year i tried lighting effects etc, so clearly i’m no digital art connoisseur 😭

but age doesn’t rlly mean anything when it comes to art, i’ve been practising digital for a while now so that’s why i’ve got a decent grasp of it. this is gonna sound like a brag (promise it’s not... well, maybe a bit) but if im being completely honest i also just think i develop my art at a steady rate which has allowed me to be where i am with it now? eg these messes below

(oh god old art) ANYWAY every year i p much have a moment of “fuck this shit im changing my style”, usually around april?? i h8 my style rn so i’m waiting on next april hellooooo.... but yeah, basically be proactive in trying new styles/ideas in order to improve?? idk im just a bitch who does this for fun

[booty-revolutionary]

road head in the heartland


painted in procreate on 10/11/2020 on a 2020 11-inch ipad pro with an apple pencil on my grandparents’ dining room table


initially shot on 10/11/2020 with the wide lens of an iphone 11 pro while driving through cornville USA


4032 x 3024 resolution


display P3 color profile


15.273 inches wide and 11.455 inches tall


264 dpi


1,894 total strokes


2hr:12min tracked


214.45mb file size


so this was a fun one! i’ve been struggling to “paint” my own casual iphone pics—learning to recreate the images i see in my mind when i am BLASTED is tricky! but it’s also soups fun.


the initial photo was snapped as i was driving around with my mom since we needed to retrieve some warmer clothes from my empty one-bedroom. since my paranoid breakdown, i’ve been staying in a chaotic intergenerational household—my grandparents, my mom, and obi and me. while i can’t wait to go home, i’ve tried to use this time to reconnect with myself in a meaningful way. hence the paintings!


anyway, i was admiring all thos nice leaves and thinking “americana man, corn is boring but also kinda pretty maybe? i would NEVER wanna live here but i can appreciate it while driving through it.” so i snapped some pics as my mom drove and we listened to t-swift (or, more accurately, as i forced her to endure multiple taylor swift albums with frequent interruptions where i explained why i love a certain lyric or what was happening in taylor’s life at the time that she wrote that song and UGH ISN’T GETAWAY CAR THE GREATEST SONG EVER FUCK).

okay um so i had this pic and i was like “okay motherfucker let’s paint this” and i just started brushin’ acrylic and seein’ what might come of it. LO AND FUCKING BEHOLD, i was like wait “what if I ROTATE THE PIC SO THE ROAD LEANS RIGHT AND NOT LEFT.” oh hell ya. road to fascism? NOT GOOD. nice.

then i was thinking “okay these trees, i really wanna make em POP” and then i found the rainforest brush and BOOM we have a fuckin RAINFOREST FOLKS. in illinois. what the fuck.


okay so then i thought “ok when was a cool time when nature got PISSED at america” and thought “MOUNT SAINT HELEN’S.” and like, i LOVE mt. st. helen’s because even though it was destructive af, it also had very nice and pretty things that grew in its Wreck. it also happened in 1980, just like ronald reagan. hmmmmmm!


okay so now i am PRETTY SURE i’m remembering things out of order—you’ll have to check out the youtube version of road head in the heartland (when i get around to uploading it lmao sorry) to fact check me. but i know at some point i was like “need eagle” and so there’s an eagle flyin’ through the cloud but you can’t really see them. but they’re there!


then i was like “wait….what if this road to fascism is covering up green and it’s separated from the brightness of nature with this human-made, essentially untouched gutter that shines brightly in an image consumed by clouds of ignored and obfuscated apocalypse? i love the gutter. i live in the gutter. here, it protecc.”


and then i thought “oh shit, that car could have DIPLOMATIC PLATES” like in diplomat’s son (WHEN I WOKE UP HE WAS GONE) and it’s drivin’ right into the shit, and then BOOM there’s the white house. just smack-dab out of the way and so consumed by its own palace intrigue that it barely notices fuckin’ mount saint helen’s blowin’ us up, let alone THE FUCKING SUPERNOVA i inserted in the top right and lit up and then buried in more cloud.


so now, the white house is completely irrelevant, but also all roads lead to it. american conundrum!


trump is an actor and an avatar of fascism in this story—his own demons have driven him to where he sits, and he only exists because he is nothing more than a right-wing caricature projecting the conservative american id onto an unwilling host. he is the paranoid style that powered the nazi rally at times square in 1938 (or was it 37? 39? not sure don’t wanna google rn). he shapes and creates the swamp but he is also compelled by it. it’s a WILD feedback loop.


i would love to see the network graph of trump’s twitter accounts—not just who he follows, but whose tweets he lingers on, whose hateful screeds he absorbs, whose oaths of fealty to Q tempt the mad king with the dream we all KNOW he thought about when the pee tape was filmed. (it’s real!!! i will not cede this to anyone!!!!!)


so then i just…um, shit. uh…OH YES. THE HEAD THAT THIS PAINT IS NAMED FOR. so infected trump is in the white house but he also finished paving the road to this Wreck (let me be clear—reagan initiated it), and so his head is embedded in this road no doubt about it. therefore, road head. in the heartland. cornville USA.


and, uh, yeah. from there, go crazy with interpreting this. i’ve got a few other ideas but i think this covers the highlights.

[caws5749]

This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday

[lucky-klover]

I wanted to do this too

Meow: Who is your favourite artist at the moment?

Don’t have one.

Tabby: Do you have any weird/hidden/obscure talents?

I can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue.

Treats: Favourite snack? Favourite drink? Favourite snack-drink combo?

Fruits, chips with salsa or hummus, and water.

Siamese: Any tattoos/piercings? (if so: which? if not: which would you get?)

Pierced ears, I wanna have a few more piercings on my ear. I wanna a tat but I fear I’ll get bored of seeing it.

Paw: What movie could you watch 1000 times and not get bored of?

Coraline or Corpse Bride

Calico: What’s your favourite app on your phone?

YouTube and Spotify

Purr: What was your best Halloween costume?

Wasn’t allowed to dress up.

Munchkin: Top 10 songs rn!

Can’t answer

Whiskers: What is your current background/lockscreen?

LS-Mina Ashido, HS-Red Riot. (Shocking huh?)

Tortoiseshell: if your house was on fire, what one object would you grab? (your pets and family are safe and chilling on the front lawn)

Either my drawing iPad, laptop, or switch.

Claws: What are your biggest pet peeves?

People commenting on what I eat.

“You don’t eat that.” “You know that makes you bloated.” “Ew you eat that? 🤢”

(Context: mom claiming I wasn’t eating some hummus she got me even tho I was. Co-worker who ate mostly junk/fast food while I ate healthier meals in comparison, loved to comment on how me eating one particular item was bad. Kay sure. Other coworker asked what I was eating, it was pasta. Which they don’t like because it makes them sick to eat it. But last I checked I was eating it not them so I snapped at them for being fucking rude.)

Bobtail: What is the best fruit? what is the worst fruit?

Have a lotta fave fruits, don’t really like gooseberries or coconut.

Catnip: Do you smoke, drink, or do drugs? (which drugs?)

Drink

Scottish Fold: Favourite animal? (it’s a cat, right? right??)

They’re one of em yeah. I have a list of animals I like.

Collar: Do you have a nickname? (what is it?) do you give other people nicknames? (what are they?)

I have many nicknames. And I’m pretty chill w/ppl giving me new ones.

Yeah sorta. Either an abbreviation of their irl name, something random that I associate them with, or a playful insult.

Persian: Do you play any instruments? (if so: which ones? if not: are there any you’d like to play?)

A bit of piano (which I haven’t played in FOREVER so I’m probably terrible at it now tbh.) Also the flute. (Wanna start practicing with it tbh)

Toy Mouse: What are your hobbies? What do you do for fun?

Drawing, cooking/baking, reading, YouTube, video games.

Russian Blue: What would you describe your aesthetic/style as?

Look at my aesthetic tags. Otherwise everything else is just silly nonsense.

Tail: Order these from best to worst: energy drinks, slushies, smoothies, juice, tea, milkshakes, hot cocoa, coffee, water, soda

Gonna order it from what I frequently drink.

Water, soda, coffee, juice, smoothies, tea, hot cocoa, milkshakes, slushies, energy drinks. (Mostly water tbh)

Ragdoll: What’s something you wish you could like or get into, but you just can’t?

The Office. (I’m 4 seasons in and I’m still not into it.)

Pounce: What is your weirdest fear?

If phobias don’t count then idk. Nothing I guess?

Maine Coone: do you have any strange/odd/obscure interests?

Uhh... idk. I think I have one but none come to mind.

Kneading: What comforts you or calms you down?

Nothing.

Sphinx: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Think I can be less apologetic and rambly.

Hissing: Give a controversial opinion!

Water is not wet.

Selkirk Rex: what are 3 things you associate yourself with?

Fruit, ferrets, and bubbles.

Grooming: What are your favourite blogs?

No ones

Turkish Van: Granted three wishes by a cat. What do you wish for?

1.) good fortune for those I care about

2.) the random/chaotic magic I give my sona

That’s it

[moonslust]

Ok so *wildflower wildfire starts* here's the deal...I'm deciding to write down this dream cause I had an unintentional lucid dream and I find really cool that every scene from it connects to present things in my life. I had woken up (in the dream duh) and I opened tumblr (cause what else to do when you wake up in the middle of the night), I decided to watch a video, a louis...video...(that's cause I watched that IGTV some hours prior) but for some reason it wouldn't start, wi-fi sucks I guess, so I go to my living room and play the video on tv thinking it would work, it doesn't, so at that point I'm shouting curse words cause hey why the fuck doesn't it work?? I decide to make me a cup of tea when all of a sudden, the video starts!!! and louis is nowhere to be seen, what appears instead is a kid SCREAMING and it's like 5 am I suppose so I am shouting yet again at the tv for making so much fucking noise, I try to turn down the volume but the video ends and when it finally stops being so loud it STARTS AGAIN and I just ugh what what what is this. I have a mirror in my living room and I notice that my hair is LONG very very extremely long and I'm shocked cause my hair is super short rn so I stare at it and I think "wow time goes by so fast", it then turned BLONDE outta nowhere and I started playing a game in my iPad cause I'm rich in my subconscious (and this relates to the fact that the day before I was sat beside a classmate and saw her playing this decorate your house game, where the character was also blonde so it all makes sense see??) Apparently, after all that chaos, I've woken up my mom, so now my mom is in the living room with me and decides to make herself a cup of coffee and there's where I remember...I had left the water for my tea BOILING. So anyway, forget breakfast, I was too stressed from that video. Time goes by and my mom starts heading to work, I decide to go with her and to get there we take a TRICIMOTO which if you don't know what that is, it's a motorbike with a small "cabin" with seats?? attached in the back (this happened cause the day before I was talking with a friend about Ecuador), the driver drives (hih🤭) us to my mom's job and the most gorgeous sunrise appears, actually no, I only see the sun but it's soooo orange and full and round it's crazy (and that's my latest obsession with sunsets), we say goodbye, cause everyone is always so friendly in Ecuador it's cool. I tell the guy to take me back home and vroom vroom you know. BUT butbut what happens instead of life being nice to me is this guy takes me to a house yes, HIS HOUSE THO. So...uhmm...fuck I guess?? There, he introduces me to two of his friends and I'm all cool you know Idc, I can have conversations with strangers as long as they don't start shit, we're all looking into a giant mirror when BAM this guy at my left TOUCHES my shoulder in a sensual way so I'm like 'kay FUCK this I'm outta here! Good news, I was surprisingly calm, and this is the lucid part of the dream, I was running from them but the usual feeling would be PANIC overwhelming PANIC right? Well I was calm and instead of desperately running, I sorta jogged LOL, anyway, I recognized this house, apparently I had seen it in other dreams and I HATED IT hated it. I started looking for an exit, when I looked into a room and saw a girl from middle school, she looked miserable and I didn't really like her much either so...I go my own way cause fuck everyone from that time period! And finally, I find IT! MY ESCAPE!! But the door doesn't open and I don't have any keys, so I remember someone had told me there's a trick to opening this door and that someone is obviously HARRY STYLES cause I DON'T.HAVE.PEACE. (harry and these fucking doors man...). The trick didn't explicitely appear in my dream, I still managed to open the door, but...ugh...I know...right behind this door, there was ANOTHER ONE. This one was sage green pretty oh so pretty but I still didn't have any keys,,,,,,I saw above the door there was a small window, so I broke it. and a portal appeared outta nowhere cause this

IS a dream after all, but the buts are not over, this portal was useless cause it led to BRICKS. A WALL. OF BRICKS. But I was so close, I didn't give up, I started tearing it down cause apparently I have ROCK HARD HANDS here and phew, I wake up. I'm laying there remembering all I just dreamt and thinking it was so cool having control of my emotions and intentions. I was shook nonetheless and then a sigh of relief could be heard,,,,,I realized I had dreamt all that cause I slept with my tummy upwards and that is why one should NEVER sleep with their tummies upwards. Also, remember when I said "demons come get me"? well fucking hell

[audienceofdoubt]

Happy Belated Birthday to the only and only Mon aka @soupery!!!

Firstly, yes I am about 2 days late to the party (that’s not fair, i’ve been checking your blog every day since September started coz I can’t remember your exact date until 18th came and stuff happened and a K-Pop group made a comeback and I had no time to check kvjdnsc) and yeah this seems pretty crap too cOZ WHOOPS!!!!! I forgot how to draw and colour lmao it didn’t turn out the way I wanted coz I blacked out so close an eye, yeah~?

Anyways, super duper long, sobby tragic note underneath the cut for the late-birthday bud btw!!! (I’m so sorry in advance)

SOO O OO O OOOO are you reading this, Mon? Or someone else, oh well what can I do lmao soso anyways I wanted to draw a gift for you last year (I remember spECIFICALLY HOW I WANTED IT TO BE AND EVERYTHING UGH) but around that time, I had to swap from Paint Tool Sai to FireAlpaca so a) my WIP is practically useless and it was one of those it’s-so-good-i-can’t-ever-redraw-that-ever-again sketches so i can’t redraw and b) what the heck is FireAlpaca amirite (still asking that up to this day-) so it still saddens me a lot tbhh, I really wanted to throw it to you last year,,, I was so excited and everything hhh I hope this doodle is alright tho,,, 

Woah i’m rambling I forgot my train of thought sorry lemme remember i’m just typing my mind out ah yes anyways

Mon!!!!! I don’t know if you know crap about me but i’ve been a huge huge fan of your works for frickin’ 3-4 years now (Ithink(butyeahit’salongtimetrustme)) (I remembered how I first found your works; your AT works and your first speedpaint really wowed my dumb 14-yo ass lmao it still does) and honestly? Thank you so much,,,

Seriously, if it wasn’t for your pretty Adventure Time works years ago, I would have never went “man, I wish I can draw digitally,” attempt to draw Ice King and Marceline on an iPad and cry, beg my parents for a tablet and accidentally spiralled down into “Actual Drawing” tbh

WHAT AM I TRYING TO SAY IS you are literally the reason why I draw. Like, you genuinely made the final spark in me to pursue drawing, and actually shaping me into what I am today-

Shit i’m tearing

-And i’m very thankful for you and your super inspiring art tbhh,, I mean, because of you, I tried to draw digitally, and even tried painting digitally, aimed for a very bubbly and interesting art style with the most beautiful colour schemes ever, seriously I could fall in love with any artist from any fandom but you always seem to stay in my cold, broken heart anyways these past few years (wow this got cheesy lmao)

And even if we don’t have all-too-similar interests that got me pulled into you in the first place (i’ve been wanting to check out AT again but thERE’S SO MANY EPISODES OH YMG ODDDD REGRETS) because I kept shifting interests every few months (super super annoying I swear) I always found myself coming back to your art blog and scroll through, going both “man I wonder how Mon is doing” or “shit dude how does she draw wtf what are colours”

And well, I don’t know if you remember me (coz a) I shift interests so much, so if there’s some scrub-ass K-Pop group on your dash rn i’m sorry b) wait I can’t tell if you’re following me anymore c) probably not d) and I keep changing URLs I think I changed it like 2-3 times lmao so sorry you’re hearing all this weird creepy (?) stuff from a stranger who knows

I just wanna say these all out loud because seriously, you’re one of the very, very, very veryv ery very few people that have stuck around in my world for more than a year, and let me tell you, that is a fucking huge deal tbh o3o but what would I know? I’m just a 17-yo kid who cries too much over everything

And now at this point I can’t really care less that my doodle sucks loads of ass coz’ I just wanted something to accompany these thoughts, y’know? Coz imagine getting this randomly on a normal day (i’d be crying but idk)

These past few years, i’ve been so scared of talking to you too tbh?? (Blahh I know about the “friend to all” bid but i’m just very anxious so that happens I guess) So I hope I got to say everything i’ve been meaning to say for the past 3-4 years so I won’t run away embarrassed only to realise that I forgot to write something in here approx. 10 minutes after I post this :^)

OH YEAH bless your colours tbhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohnymg fodododdddd d d

O boi this is so so embarrassing I promise i’ll draw a better one soon (or if I forget (most likely) next year y’know ahah)

I think you may have heard these many times (I mean-) but your art has gotten more beautiful and better but every scribble, every doodle and it’s so inspiring (weird, I never get inspired by artists that much tbh) so thank you, and keep being you, Mon!!!

This has gotten super super long (man i’d black out if I have to reread this halfway ugh sorry Mon wtf) so i’m gonna stop before I whine more jeez

Anyways, again, happy birthday, Mon, and hope you have a soup-er wonderful year ahead, coz you frickin’ deserve it!!!!

-Disparity

[rosequartzharry]

92 Truths

I was tagged by @jollystyles 

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag! 

 THE LAST… 

1. Drink: Ice water 

2. Phone Call: My mom 

3. Text Message: my mom said “It’s about damn time” 

4. Song You Listened To: (im not sure because i cant tell, so ill just put in my most listened to song on itunes)  Focus - Ariana Grande

5. Time You Cried: Fuck if I know 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

6. Dated Someone Twice: No LOL 

7. Been Cheated On: Not yet 

8. Kissed Someone and Regretted It: Not yet 

9. Lost Someone Special: Not yet 

10. Been Depressed: Probably, idk 

11. Gotten Drunk and Thrown Up: Never gotten drunk 

 LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS… 

12. Most shades of pink 

13. Black 

14. Most shades of blue 

 IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 

15. Made New Friends: Yes 

16. Fallen Out of Love: Sadly, no. No matter how hard I try 

17. Laughed Until You Cried: Yes 

18. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: Yes 👀 

19. Met Someone Who Changed You: Yes 

20. Found Out Who Your True Friends Are: Yes 

21. Kissed Someone On Your Facebook List: No 

22. How Many Of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know In Real Life: I have a lot of people from high school that I don't talk to anymore so idk 

 Do You Have Any Pets:

23. A ragdoll cat named Dude 

24. Do You Want To Change Your Name: No 

25. What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: I think I went out to eat with my mom and my brother. I didn't do much of anything tbh. 

26. What Time Did You Wake Up: 9 i think?

27. What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night: Sleeping 

28. Name Something You Cannot Wait For: Seeing Harry next year omg 😍 

29. When Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mother: like 10 minutes ago 

 30. What Is One Thing You Wish You Could Change About Your Life: I wish I could like let go of crushes easier, cause I tend to just be a patient ass bitch and like wait out the time period between me liking them and finding out they like me? Like the longest is currently like 6 years and counting and I hate it cause I wish I could use that time to work on some shit idk 

31. What Are You Listening To Right Now: Im watching My Cat From Hell on my iPad lmao

32. Have You Ever Talked To A Person Named Tom: My dads step dad 

33. Something That Is Getting On Your Nerves: how cute Harry styles is 

34. Most Visited Website: Tumblr 

35. Elementary: I was bullied a lot so I tend to not like to really remember those days LOL

36. High School: It was fun while i was there, and I will DEFINITELY go back to visit, and I have. But I'm for sure only friends with very few people I knew in highschool 

37. College/University: So far so good 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

38. Hair Color: Brown, but i dye it Dark Brown cause i wanna

39. Long Or Short Hair: Long, but i want it longer tbh

40. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: Yes 

41. What Do You Like About Yourself: My ability to learn things quickly 

42. Piercings: Ears 

43. Blood Type: ??????its a mystery?

44. Nickname: Bay or B

45. Relationship Status: Single 

46. Zodiac Sign: Scorpio 

47. Pronouns: She/Her 

48. Favorite TV Shows: KKWTK, Shameless, That 70′s Show, etc. 

49. Tattoos: None yet

50. Right Or Left Hand: Right

51. Surgery: not that im aware of 

52. Piercing: Ears 

53. Sport: I used to do T-Ball, Soccer, and Gymnastics, but i was really little

54. Vacation: Maybe the ocean or some place with a beautiful landscape

55. Pair of Trainers: i have shitty ones that i bought for a week trip to disney land last year

57. Eating: nothing rn

58. Drinking: Water 

59. I’m About To: watch TV 

60. Listening To: My Cat From Hell on my iPad

61. Waiting For: My brother to get out of the bathtub so i can go pee lol

62. Want: a steady income lol

63. Get Married: I hope so 

64. Career: hopefully something with music, whether its making it, or recording it like behind the soundboard

YOUR TYPE… 

65. Hugs or Kisses: depends on the person lol 

66. Lips or Eyes: Eyes 

67. Shorter or Taller: Taller 

68. Older or Younger: I prefer older 

69. Nice Arms or Nice Stomach: ive always been an arms girl 

70. Sensitive or Loud: i can deal with either lol 

71. Hook Up or Relationship: Relationship 

72. Troublemaker or Hesitant: i guess it depends idk 

HAVE YOU EVER… 

74. Kissed A Stranger: nah lol

75. Drank Hard Liquor: Yes 

76. Lost Glasses/Contacts: Yes 

77. Turned Someone Down: Yes 

78. Sex On First Date: No 

79. Broken Someone’s Heart: idk probably

80. Had Your Heart Broken: lmao 

81. Been Arrested: No 

82. Cried When Someone Died: Yes 

83. Fallen For A Friend: you bet your sweet ass LOL

 DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 

84. Yourself: idk man

85. Miracles: Yes 

86. Love at First Sight: to a point 

87. Santa Claus: lowkey 

88. Kiss on the First Date: meh, it depends

89. Angels: Yes 

OTHER… 

90. Current Best Friend’s Name: i feel like picking best friends hurts feelings, but i have good friends and just friends, and i dont know if i could name them all LOL

91. Eye Color: Blue 

92. Favorite Movie: The Crow, The Lion King, Purple Rain, Captain EO

 I don’t have 25 people to tag but I am tagging @harryslittlekiwis @goldenstyles @harrycloseups @theartistformerlyknownasprince and whoever wants to do it cause fuck it why not?