#is a meta i really want to write.

[obsidianbit]

I love this gay ass show with its literally life ending injuries that heal immediately, but only when convenient to the plot, and its ridiculous use of modern phrases, and its laughing in the face of historical accuracy, and its kissing the face of the fans instead of trying to outwit them, and the way everyone involved in the show seem to go 'I KNOW RIGHT! I'M EXCITED TOO!' instead of mocking the fans

[mobydyke]

maybe if I keep telling the story, it will never have to end. that way I can keep you alive. If the story lasts forever, so will you. yes, you die in the end. yes I am the only one who remembers. yes I am the only one who knows. But if I never say it aloud, maybe you won't die. maybe this time orpheus won't turn around. maybe peter won't deny him. maybe when I reach the end, you will have had time to come up with a clever solution and escape. maybe this time we survive it together. and the next time, you can tell this story with me. maybe everyone survives and we don't have to tell the story at all. maybe they don't. if I never finish, I'll never have to know. let me speak for a little bit longer. let me live in a world that you are also in for just a moment more. sometimes your memory feels like a noose. I'm sorry. I'm not ready for you to die

[gingiekittycat]

Headcanoning that Crowley invented plants so that no one could live without the light from a star

Headcanoning that Crowley designed the Garden before he Fell

Headcanoning that God kept the design with one small addition of a tree in the middle called the Tree of Knowledge as a slight at Crowley’s thirst for answers

Headcanoning that Crowley's angel name was "Eden"

and God kept the name too

[pokimoko]

The fact that Main-verse Ooo is as good and as kind as it is (relative to the other universes shown so far, at least, it's obviously not perfect) all because of the same character that starts off as the OG series' antagonist, the person we were made to see as the bad guy (albeit an often ineffectual one) for several seasons, is making me lose my mind.

Imagine finding out the guy you spent your childhood beating up and saving princesses from is in fact a driving catalyst behind you being able to exist, and not only exist but also live in a world that knows what kindness is. All because that man, the same man who you've witnessed do terrible things, once met a little girl and taught her how to be good.

Simon's story really shows us that even if you lose your way and forget how it is to be good yourself, the world keeps the memory for you. That act of love Simon showed Marcy by protecting her and seeing her as more than the monster she thought herself to be created ripples upon ripples, small at first but eventually enough to help give their wreckage of a world—a world that easily could have been forsaken, its goodness overlooked because of its inhospitable remains—a chance to grow into something beautiful. Because of those very same ripples Simon created, the people of Ooo grew up in a world where they know enough about kindness that they were able and willing to spare the 'bad guy' some, to see beyond the wreckage and allow him to grow too.

In saving Marceline, Simon helped to not only to save the world, but also himself.

[ponchizs]

I’m in love with how they are giving so many subtle hints about Alhaitham and Kaveh’s relationship and how important it is to Alhaitham, despite the way they always seem to be bickering.

Throughout the 3.2 archon quest Alhaitham tells us that the reason why he is so interested in helping Sumeru is because he doesn’t want his daily life to change. After that Kaveh starts being mentioned very frequently by him or we hear other people in the akademiya complain about how they daily argue.

Then, of course, we meet them both arguing with each other in the House of Daena, which was quite the argument. We also know many of their casual interactions and how they go to the café/bar frequently together. Furthermore, Alhaitham pays all of Kaveh’s bills (something no one would do for someone they don't care for).

And now, during Alhaitham’s quest, their tones were so soft (At least in JP and CN) and also domestic. Kaveh seems to worry a lot about Alhaitham and exchanges glances with him, which made me melt inside. I also love how Alhaitham is constantly smiling while bickering with kaveh. Remember, we dont see him smiling like this that often. Which means he really enjoys it. I really liked how after the second time Kaveh asked him if he is okay, he replied with a tease about the painting Kaveh had mentioned before. Also smiling.

But most importantly, something I see no one talking about: the moment when Alhaitham was explaining why he resigned from being the Grand Sage to being the scribe again and he tells us that “It’s important to keep your priorities straight”, the camera points at Kaveh.

I know this game will probably never have any canon ship because they need to make everyone happy, but we do get hints like this from time to time and I think this was one of them.

After all, why would they bother to add all of those scenes with Kaveh when the quests had already concluded, if not for showing us how is what is Alhaitham’s daily life he wants to protect that much? We saw how happy he is, how eager he was to get home and go have dinner with Kaveh. We also see how Kaveh had been waiting for him as well.

I’d like to know more about their relationship, even if it ends up not being romantic (though how do you explain that face Kaveh made when paimon asked if they are friends).

[lorephobic]

literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped

A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence

an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felix—an angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliver—a prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.

thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag

A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn

a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in

alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship

The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]

how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired

may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn

alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay

Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry

a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion

a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such

least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn

if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me

edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if you’re interested in following these through to development!

[firethekitty]

the purposeful framing of this panel (and this entire scene of showing all the people who vash has met throughout the story) implies that wolfwood was AS important to vash as rem was. they both have had the greatest impact on him, so much so that their existence changes vash’s entire sense of morality. and rem and wolfwood, besides knives, are the only two people who vash really allows himself to love? people he wants to be with for as long as possible—when he’s so used to running away, used to going out of his way to avoid getting close to anyone. and it's just like idk *throws up violently*

[27-royal-teas]

look ive seen a lot of weird takes about the we didn’t start the fire cover because apparently (?) some people are mad (??) because ‘anyone can put together words that rhyme, they should have put the events in chronological order’ (????) and I’ve decided that look, it doesn’t matter if it’s chronological, because this is it. It’s events that matter to this generation, and it SHOULDNT sound exactly like billy joel’s version. they’re not going to be billy joel. NO ONE is going to be billy joel. the point of a cover is to make it your own and by making the events out of order it seems more frenzied and crazy, which, to be honest, the events it covers ARE. it IS crazy. and to end with ‘world trade, second plane’? that is INSANE. I got chills. that is a moment that the people who were alive during the event will remember FOREVER. it literally changed the entire course of history and started a spiral of events not only politically but musically as well, starting in an idea and ending in we’ll carry on. It makes perfect sense to end a song about the chaos of the modern and recent world on an event so defining in people’s- relatively recent- lives. and I saw this pointed out too (I believe by @thekintsugikid) and I wanted to mention it. fall out boy says, ‘we’re trying to fight it.’ In Billy’s version, he said ‘we tried to fight it.’ and look. we are trying. The world is going to shit. We’re all going to die someday, probably in some gruesome way. but we’re trying. we’re trying to fight it. we have hope, this younger generation. we won’t give up. we will survive. persistence, I think, is the biggest part of glory. and so, it just means something to me. it doesn’t have to be in chronological order. it doesn’t have to be perfect. the boys had fun, and that’s what matters, but I really think that the cover does reflect us overall

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

sometimes I see David Tennant's face in Doctor Who as he monologues about time travel/immortality/the eternal loneliness and I go...that's him. that's my rotten lil guy. my wretched wreck of a dude. wreckage in humanoid form. the lonely divine corrupted by himself forgiven by himself made by himself made by his companions made by the universe. horrible and horrifying and far too human and not human enough. the worst thing to ever happen to so many (Martha, Adelaide, Astrid, everyone else who flashed through that whole montage thanks to Davros). a corrupter. a corruption. a cleansing. a man carved out of grief and love and pathos and hatred and grudges and forgiveness who can only make the worst decisions with the best, most selfish of intentions. a man who loved until he lost everything. a man, more than any other doctor, who should never be left alone, and yet he dies alone, with the shortest regeneration speech of any doctor. desperately lonely, desperately tragic, a disaster of a man who is too careless with everything and everyone around him.

And yet I care about him so much, because he is also the man who at the end of it all, after he lost everyone and everything he held dear, after he lost rose and donna and sarah jane and jack and martha and mickey left him and he was more alone than he's ever been, he does the right thing. the kind thing. he stops the time lords from descending on the earth. he once again gives up his people because he understands that the Time Lords Victorious cannot and should not ever be the way to go. he steps in and he saves wilfred mott. he lets himself become the doctor once again. he doesn't want to go, but instead of taking that one final step into godhood, he gives his next self a chance at being a better doctor than he ever could be.

[ani-craft]

"Martyn is loyal" this and "Martyn isn't loyal" that

Loyal or not, this man loves. No matter what he might say. Calls himself selfish, or a wanderer, or a wildcard, or whatever else he'll readily claim to seem unanchored. And sure, he is highly driven by self-interest, that is undeniable especially after Lim Life's ending. Yet every season he gets attached to people, finds a fondness in someone. To Scott, to Cleo, to the Southlands (especially Mumbo), to Ren--and to an extent he is loyal, or devoted, or whatever other word you want to use for it. As loyal as he can be up until he can't be anymore. Looks at every alliance with the idea that they'll make it to the finale together, even if what happens after is unsavory. He knows too much for his own good, knows that every life will end as him versus everyone he's allied with. It's inevitable, given the nature of his lore and his role in the grand scheme of things. It's an always present truth that backs every plan he has. An audience is Watching, and we need a grand finale, after all.

But until then:

"That's it, they're dead."

"I'm more than happy for you to link back up with me, and we can be real proper soulmates."

"You said, 'You and your allies will see the end.' You said I could bring them all!"

"I'm with you. This is us, now. This is us."

[aduckwithears]

Jim's fair isle sweater vest/jumper... especially the bit right by the neckline that looks like an hourglass.

Little things to love about Good Omens S2 (19/?) - Masterpost

Detail:

*Edited edit: I found the knitter! See the reblog!

[sapphicstacks]

You ever make a shitpost that turns into a full character meta? Anyways: Imogen’s relationship with Pâté De Rolo.

When Laudna first introduces Pâté to the group, Imogen tells Orym that she “never gets used to it.” At first it felt like, this is The Thing. Imogen had already shown that she was down for Laudna’s whole Laudna-ness but it seemed Pâté was the first time Imogen showed a little recognition that something was a little funky. Imogen is down for all of Laudna’s quirks, she doesn’t even bat an eyelash at most of them but Pâté is kind of the one thing Imogen is still tentative about. However, with the added context of later episodes, it seems that Imogen’s relationship to this horny dead rat with a bird skull is actually a reflection of Imogen’s respect for Laudna’s agency.

There’s a blink-and-you-miss-it way that Imogen shows her love to Laudna. You could notice it in small moments but it was hard to put into words until very recently when Laudna’s resurrection ritual made it glaringly obvious. Imogen deeply respects Laudna’s personhood and cares for her agency. Any part of Laudna that she has little to no control over, Imogen won’t be caught dead trepidatious or weirded out by— especially in front of Laudna.

The fact that, of all of Laudna’s Things, Pâté was the only one Imogen gives pause to is important because it’s explicitly not an intrinsic aspect of Laudna. Yes, Laudna created and is controlling him but it’s distinctly Not Laudna. It’s not her body or her spookiness or her ichor or anything else that she can’t control. Pâté is a something Laudna can fully control and that’s why it is okay for Imogen to be hesitant. Her trepidation only is allowed to exist because it doesn’t conflict with her respect for Laudna’s personhood.

And over the span of 30+ episodes, it doesn’t get better. Imogen giggles and engages with Pâté sure, but she is still hesitating, still acknowledging that it’s weird. When Laudna dies and the puppet that gave her pause is tied to Imogen’s belt without a second thought, Imogen protects that horny rat just as Laudna would for a week— its an act of service to Laudna but it doesn’t mean that Imogen doesn’t have hesitation. In fact, it’s still there when Laudna returns and tells Percy about Pâté.

But that changes the moment that Pâté comes to life. There is no more hesitation for Imogen, no side comments or grimaced looks about how weird Pâté is. One minute it is there and then it is gone with one casting of Find Familiar later. She treats the independent Pâté just as she treats Laudna: with a deep and full respect for his personhood.

Under the sun tree? While the entire group is showing even greater confusion about Pâté now that he isn’t puppeted by Laudna, Imogen is giggling and telling Laudna “it’s good, it’s good!”

Imogen doesn’t show any apprehension on her face when Pâté is doing an interpretive dance by the fire. Why? Because Pâté is suddenly an aspect of Laudna that is beyond Laudna’s control. Pâté’s weird comments and mannerisms are no longer active choices made by Laudna and therefore, Imogen’s previous trepidation is no longer allowed to exist. Imogen’s treatment of Pâté is a reflection of the subtle, yet deeply important, ways Imogen cares for Laudna.

It doesn’t really matter whether Imogen’s love for Laudna is platonic or romantic in these moments. Imogen shows Laudna that she deeply loves Laudna by proving with her actions that she deeply respects her personhood. Sure, it is definitely funny that Imogen shows it through her treatment of a horny dead rat with a cockney accent but its also so distinctly them. Those small, silly, almost throwaway moments that have so much more meaning baked in.

[loquatenjoyer69]

Matoba and Burden and Desire

I originally watched/read Natsuyuu back in fall of 2022, and then a few months ago, literally out of nowhere, my brain was like “Hey, remember that loquat story Matoba told in that one arc? It felt like there was something there, let’s go reread that,” which I did, and have been in hexorcists hell about ever since.

(pictured: a sane person’s reaction to reading natsuyuu)

And really, that’s it. The loquat story feels like there’s something there, but I couldn’t quite figure out what was going on. But after my close rereading of that arc, I think I’ve at least come to one coherent conclusion about it, even if it’s perhaps the most basic one: I think the loquats are an allegory for the greater themes of burden/desire in this arc. The following is my attempt to lay out my thoughts, but unfortunately I have never been known for my conciseness or my ability to organize my thoughts, so be forewarned. This will be rambly and include a few tangents/too much detail.

The story of the Miharu family is a story of a family that was once respected, had a relationship/contract with powerful ayakashi, and eventually fell into ruin, leaving behind their contracts. The ayakashi, the mihashira, still come to uphold their part of the agreement without fail, but the family is gone. So who comes in their place to maintain the contract? The Matobas, and in the present day, the current head of the Matoba clan is Matoba Seiji. In order to maintain this deal with a group of powerful youkai, which neither he nor his family actually made, Matoba has to come and perform the welcoming ritual to avoid incurring the wrath of the mihashira.

Matoba is a character marked by burden, I think. Though he is the head of the most powerful exorcist clan, and therefore one might expect that he can pretty much do what he wants, I don’t actually think he has much personal freedom. The only son of the main family, he was probably marked as the heir from birth (if not, he would have had to be once his sister left but I still need to read 120+ so I don’t know exactly what the deal with her is). The clan’s interests are his interests. He can’t do anything that might hurt the reputation of or endanger the clan, and he is obligated to do things that benefit the clan. Matoba is Matoba. 

In chapter 25, in his debut arc, he tells Natsume 「使えるものは使わないと。人を守る為に、強い妖が欲しいと思っているだけですよ。その為には恨まれたり代償を払うことを気にしていたら、この家業はやっていけませんしね」

"One should make use of useful things. I just want ayakashi in order to protect people. If I was worried about being hated or suffering consequences, I could not carry on the family business,"

(this is actually one of those annoying instances of a Japanese sentence that’s more dense than would sound good in English. Matoba seems to be explaining his personal worldview/thoughts here with 思っている even though in English you’d never say “I just feel like/think I want strong ayakashi…” He’s explaining that this is the way he thinks, I think lol).

Matoba doesn’t get the privilege of having a good reputation among humans or ayakashi, since we learn in special chapter 17 that no good ayakashi will make deals with the Matobas because of their famous broken promise. Matoba Seiji not only inherits the burden of monthly eye-stealing visits, he also can’t make contracts with ayakashi and  takes on all the distrust that’s built up over generations from both humans and ayakashi. 

And now Matoba is taking on the debts of a dead branch family to avoid possibly endangering his own.

In the locked room, when Matoba is goading Natori into breaking them out, he says 「どうです？あなたには解くことができますか名取。無理ならばすべて私が片付けてさしあげましょうか？」

"Well, can you do it, Natori? If you can’t, shall I take care of everything for you?"

I’m unsure how much of this is Matoba teasing Natori (as he seems to like doing in the Homura arc) about how he’s not as powerful/skilled as Matoba, and how much is him simply making an offer because he’s Matoba and he’s The One Who Takes Care Of Everything. I think either way, there is at least a good amount of the latter going on here. 

In special chapter 17, Matoba shows up at Natori’s house and helps him exorcise the ayakashi that’s been haunting him. After Natori wakes up, he tries to offer to help Matoba in some way. I think he felt uncomfortable being the only one being helped, and wanted to find something he could offer Matoba, even though Matoba seems to have everything he needs. Natori offers to listen to his problems, and Matoba smiles (of course) and says he’s fine. Even teenage Matoba is like “You’re not the one who helps me, I’m the one who helps you.” Though this chapter is from Natori’s perspective, so Natori believes Matoba was just using him to get an ayakashi, I’m not sure that’s true. I don’t know for sure what Matoba’s motives were, but I don’t believe teenage Natori is an unbiased observer of him lol. 

Now that we’ve laid all that out, let’s talk briefly about the Miharus, a once respected family who made a deal with ayakashi they didn’t understand, and fell into ruin. According to the ayakashi who wants to sabotage the ritual, there was a member of the Miharu family called Masakiyo. Masakiyo was stern for the most part, but there was someone he loved. However, he couldn’t be with that person because he couldn’t make them shoulder the burdens of his family business, but neither could he simply abandon his family. He had to stay with his family and let this person go. This was the only time this ayakashi saw Masakiyo cry. Then we get this panel:

(pictured: bench of I Hate My Life, credit to @joelletwo for that lol)

In his despair, Masakiyo wished there was no Miharu family. The ayakashi, feeling indebted to Masakiyo for letting it go during an exorcism, overhears him and decides that destroying the Miharu family will bring Masakiyo happiness. This is an unintended contract between the two of them. Masakiyo unwittingly causes an ayakashi to spend years (decades?) trying in vain to destroy his family in order to repay a perceived debt. This isn’t Masakiyo’s fault, really, it was just an unfortunate misunderstanding. The ayakashi didn’t understand that Masakiyo wanted it to be free and live the life he couldn’t. “You were almost exorcised because of human circumstances. You were saved on the whim of a human. What debt? You are free. Go wherever you want. Live however you want.”

After all the mihashira business is wrapped up, Matoba thanks Natori for his help, Natori says he probably couldn’t have gotten out of the room without Matoba, and Matoba laughs and says “Then we’re even this time.” Neither one is indebted to the other this time…they’re even. Then Natori says The Line:

「何かを継ぎ背負っていく…その真の重みは私などにははかり知れません。でも今はこう思うようにもなりました。重いものもひとりでなければと…」

"I don’t know the true weight of shouldering a burden you’ve inherited, but now I’ve come to think that even heavy things can be carried if you’re not alone,"

(this is another one of the aforementioned Dense Japanese Sentences, and I really prefer the fan TL version of this line but I’m translating it this way to try to convey all the stuff he’s saying). Natori once again reaches out to Matoba, trying to offer him maybe the only thing he can: support, listening to his problems, shouldering his burdens. This time, though, we don’t get a Matoba Smile and “I’m fine,” we get this:

(pictured: Matoba on the bench of I Hate My Life, or “Matoba Cow Beach” as I refer to this image in my head)

What is Matoba thinking here? I really don’t know. If I draw the obvious parallel with Masakiyo, I guess he’s contemplating his two…selves, as it were. His duty to his family vs his personal desire for companionship. And I do think Matoba wants companionship. I read his behavior in special chapter 15 as genuinely wanting to be friends with Natori. I think he was excited that there was someone else his age who was relatively powerful, and who wasn’t concerned with all the Matoba stuff. Hence his insistence on Natori calling him Seiji. He wanted to be close to Natori.

And finally, we can come back to the loquats. Natsume hears Matoba mocking the mihashira for continuing to protect the Miharu house even after the family has all died out, and thinks perhaps Matoba is envious of ayakashi who go to such great lengths to keep promises.

"Matoba-san, who keeps breaking promises, and doesn’t have anyone to make new ones with."

Matoba wonders how the welcoming ritual will go next time, but decides he won’t worry since he probably won’t even be the head of the clan at that time. Natsume offers him a loquat, saying cheer up, and Matoba does his Thing, saying  “How odd, do I look upset?” and then tells The Story.

When Matoba was a teenager, he really wanted to try the loquats from Yorishima’s yard. One day, he was there with Natori, and Yorishima gave them both one. The loquat was delicious and sweet; Matoba felt that his “desire had been fulfilled,” but Natori got a sour one, and Matoba felt like Yorishima-san had wanted to give a loquat to Natori, and only given one to Matoba because he was there, so he thought “Ah there’s no winning even in such a small thing as this.” Matoba gets what he wants, but it wasn’t meant for him, and the one it was meant for is worse off, so did he really win? He was the only one who got to enjoy the delicious loquat. These are the unintended consequences, the burdens if you will, of desire. 

Natsume speculates that the agreement with the mihashira began when someone had the wish to protect the Miharu family, and there was an ayakashi who happened to be there, much like the situation with Masakiyo and the sabotaging ayakashi. A simple and innocent wish accidentally creates a generations-long burden that Matoba eventually has to shoulder. 

I think Matoba must be painfully aware of his power and influence, and that even his smallest actions could cause unintended consequences. I wonder if he sees the Miharu family as a warning of what could happen to his own family if he slips up… And it wasn’t just a mistake on the part of the Miharus, but a failure of the Matoba clan head of that time, whose responsibility it was to look out for the branch families. Matoba Seiji is not just responsible for the success of his own family, but protecting the branch families, and of course non-exorcists as well. I imagine he feels like he doesn’t have the time or room to act on any of his own personal desires, and his little loquat anecdote is evidence of that, to me. It’s bittersweet (lol). And Natori’s takeaway, meanwhile, is more casual as you might expect. When Natsume asks him if he likes loquats, he says he’s not sure because his first one wasn’t very good. To Natori, a loquat is something he might try again and like. To Matoba, it’s a reminder of what he can and can’t have.

[kimkhimhant]

I don't understand why so many people equate a single aspect of a character's personality to their sexual preferences. like pointing to Kim's apparent enjoyment of violence and being like obviously he's a violent dom top.

it feels like toxic masculinity and disturbing stereotyping to say a character who has violent tendencies can't possibly be gentle in romantic and sexual relationships, or someone who has a lot of anger can't possibly bottom or submit to the person they love.

because Kim can kill people means he would want to aggressively dom Chay and would never want to give Chay any power in their sexual relationship? it doesn't make sense to me and it honestly feels like an insult to Kim's character. I don't have a problem with Kim domming or topping. i have a problem with people making that his whole personality when it's Not. the biggest move he makes on Chay is a very innocent cheek kiss, when he absolutely could have done more. to say that the violence he commits to protect Chay= violent sexual dominance is weird!

to say that because he is ambitious & hardened & willing to threaten & kill people who endanger his loved ones, he could never willingly submit to someone - what kind of claim is that? doesn't that make it all the more impactful when he Does submit?

claiming so confidently (and rudely) that there's nothing submissive about him, and that it's out of character to write him as anything but an aggressive and violent dom top really does feel so narrow-minded and insulting. his actions in canon are very much open to interpretation.

the club scene, he momentarily loses control of his emotions: he finds out chay skipped his audition, is at a club, and is being offered drugs. he freaks out and drags chay away, but when chay stands up to him he stands down. he leaves. he doesn't continue to force chay. we can interpret this interaction either as a momentarily loss of control, or as proof that he's capable of force, but again, neither option is explicitly confirmed by canon.

the song, it's implied that he started writing it while he and chay were still together, rather than a post-breakup manipulation tactic. we see him alone in his apartment writing a song while thinking about chay's love song and smiling. it was a love song, written in response to chay's love song, but they broke up before kim finished it.

kim is absolutely capable of violence and force. boundaries are a little blurry for him, especially when he's trying to accomplish something. he looks into chay's phone, breaks into his room, bypasses his being blocked by messaging from a different number. chay also walks right over kim's boundaries. he insists that kim stays to listen to his song (repeatedly), get's kim's address from his friend and shows up at his place, etc. they are pretty well matched in that sense – their concept of boundaries and attachment are both unhealthy.

there is really nothing in canon that dictates whatever romantic or sexual dynamics they will have. i'm frustrated when people act like there are. the image someone presents in public has nothing to do with their sexual preferences.

it feels like a projection of misogyny & toxic masculinity & honest to God homophobia to say that because Chay is sunny & soft, he can only ever be a submissive bottom, & bc Kim is cold & raised to be violent, he can only ever be a violent, dominant top.

again, as a disclaimer, i'm not opposed to domtop kim. i think it's an entirely valid portrayal of him! i support those who write those dynamics! but it's not canon, because there is no canon sexual dynamic for kimchay. sub bottom kim isn't canon either! because there is no canon sexual dynamic for kimchay.

we almost never see kim with his defenses down. he's always on guard and putting on a brave face, except for just a few scenes, like when he's alone writing music and finding chay's polaroid.

i think it's important to recognize the fact that sexual dynamics cannot be predicted by looking at how someone looks and acts in public, and that no interpretations are confirmed by canon and all interpretations are therefore equally valid

[oshiawaseni]

Trails of Love Hori's been paving down in the build up for the series' ending

Part II: Decoding the love story being told through other characters

Part One | II. KamiJirou | Part Three ->

.•° ✿ 5. "I̥̰̟͈̣̮͑̑͐̓̌z̴͉̙̲̋͗͌u̶̫̝̒̊̐Ocha" ೋღ

Oh look, time to defeat the raid boss of BNHA: IzuOcha. (I wrote this meta in March, and after reading it now, I didn't feel I needed to change anything, but I added a small bonus section at the end. Hope you enjoy!)

I have a lot of things to say about why Ochaco was never meant to be the one... but I'll try to stay concise and on topic with regards to this meta. Ochaco appears set up as Izuku's love interest from the get-go, but is that really what Hori wanted to do? I'll be taking a dive into their themes and in part three of this meta, I'll be explaining why the answer to that question has been a resounding: NO!

When I compared the feedback Ochaco got from Aoyama, Toga and Mina about her having a crush on Izuku for wanting to be like him, to Izuku, who didn’t get any feedback for all the times he did the exact same thing and copied Kacchan, it felt very unfair.

See what I mean? It is completely unfair. And this was such a hard topic for me to navigate and answer for the anon at that time. But then I did some thinking.

Compress, Gentle/La Brava, Kamijirou and finally Kirimina (which came as a pleasant surprise, and for me, cemented Hori's intentions with all of this)... all of these characters have been written to highlight various things about BkDk's relationship.

Then, there is Ochaco's admiration of Izuku and she always gets told it's a crush, and it's so weird of a plot to begin with. This very one-sided "crush" also felt out of place with the rest of the themes going on. I eventually realised maybe we had been looking too closely at the admiration issue all along. By attempting to explain the meaning of the tree and why it's different from this other tree, we didn't see the forest it's connected to and that there was actually something bigger going on that Hori had been crafting.

Scale it back and you’ll see: It’s not that Izuku didn’t get his own feedback about his feelings for Kacchan in the various ways he shows he wanted to be like him, but Ochaco’s conversations with Aoyama and Mina and Toga were his feedback!! It was one of the biggest AHHHHHHHHHHH SO THAT'S WHY pin drop moments I've ever had.

No one was calling him out, because they didn't need to! Calling out Ochaco for that behaviour was all Izuku's same behaviour needed!

Chapter 15 is the first time Izuku displays this behaviour of wanting to be like Kacchan. In Chapter 48 Izuku trains his movement after thinking of "Kacchan and the others". His movement mimicking Katsuki's is first noticed by Iida in Chapter 52.

We spent so much time worrying what the difference is between Izuku and Ochaco’s admiration, but we tackled the problem all wrong! In fact, we didn’t need to tackle it at all.

Because not only did Ochaco’s crush sideplot serve as a red herring to veil the real love story going on from the average reader, it was also used as another tool to highlight it.

In chapter 58, Izuku showed off his new movement style and everybody, even Katsuki, noticed it was copying the way Katsuki moves. The fact we get another Ochaco shot of her watching Izuku mimic Katsuki really does add credence to the theory that she noticed Izuku's feelings because he's also copying the person he loves. And if their logic was true for her, then why couldn't it be true for Izuku too? Izuku's mimicry being such a non-issue for 1-A was surely done on purpose for us to see this hypocrisy one day: That her mimicry gets called out as love by everyone, but everyone sleeps on Izuku's own mimicry simply because it's between two boys.

Our take away was never meant to be “what’s the difference between their admiration/love”, but simply that Izuku was both wanting to become like and inadvertently becomes like Kacchan because he loves him so much and a way to keep Kacchan close to him was incorporating both his attitude and movement style into his own.

Hori was linking the two concepts of mimicry and romance together with commentary from Mina/Aoyama/Toga while having Izuku do this EXACT THING they were talking about, with Katsuki, right in front of our damn salad!

Because what other characters noted about Ochaco's behaviour... Izuku was also expressing towards Kacchan. (Hori even brought it up again in DvK2 just to remind *everyone* that Izuku is very conscious of doing the exact same thing as Ochaco)

Even if Ochaco later reveals their logic to not be true FOR HER (which I wholeheartedly believe in. BkDk+TogaChaco end game LETS GO), we know for sure this logic has absolutely been true for Izuku. And the feedback Ochaco got also fits Hori’s framework of;

Bkdk -> are the actions

Other characters -> are the words for their feelings and actions.

Ochaco never was a raid boss to begin with... she only had the appearance of one. All to get BkDK through to the finish line.

Ochaco talking about "putting the All Might doll away" here used the same verb as "shutting her feelings away" and her scene instantly jumps to Izuku looking at his black whip - a quirk he has also "put away" behind a locked door that represents OFA. Black whip is a quirk which emerged from the feelings he has for Katsuki, that Izuku has also had to "put away" because what happened to him was so traumatic. I think Hori wanted us to see their two stories of "locking something away" were actually the same in essence, and it wasn't just black whip itself that Izuku had to lock away, but also his feelings for Katsuki... because we lost Izuku's POV towards Katsuki after the "I'm too blessed." scene. Most likely to hide the romantic love Izuku feels towards him from the reader.

I realised the same logic of the other couples also applied to Ochaco too a few months ago, while I was putting together this meta about all the ways Hori has indirectly shown readers what Izuku’s feelings for Kacchan are. Hori couldn’t say it outright because of his demographic and the current expectations society has that BL should stay in it's own category and far removed from shounen.

So Hori gave bkdk their moments without a whole lot of context and developed the idea of them simultaneously in another language, by getting other various characters to do the talking. And he used these characters to indirectly spell out bkdk’s love story in conjunction with bkdk’s own behaviour, all for the sake of his big bkdk reveal in the series' finale.

And to think he’s been doing this almost since the beginning blows my mind. (Chapter 15! Chapter 15 was the start of WWKD: What Would Kacchan Do) The man is a genius. A lot of this feels like he had needed to release his feelings about bkdk, so he left these trails of code throughout the manga... and we’ve finally cracked the damn thing.

We did it. We realised Hori’s 2nd language and roundabout method of telling one of the greatest love stories in shounen history. And I’m sure there’s even more examples of it to discover, that all our fandom's talented, keen-eyed bkdks find every day.

If Horikoshi Kohei-Sensei wrote this story because he wanted to cement his mark in jump history, he has deservedly done just that!

Part B - The real ship of dreams

(It felt too good to be true, yet I was quietly hoping...) .•° ✿ 5. TogaChako ೋღ

Circling back to the first part of this meta, "The Shape of an Eternal Bond" ... Do you remember when I talked about how BkDk couldn't imagine a world without each other, and the sense of an eternity they both exude together? Something that has always been, something that will always be. It seems more themes and feelings we get from bkdk's relationship have now been thrown into the Togachaco fight.

Ochaco gave Toga what is essentially a marriage proposal to a vampire, and then her wires made the shape of the infinity symbol. Toga expresses to her "I can't stand the thought of you not being in this world anymore." This is 1. so touching 2. bkdk as HELL, and I am certain that Katsuki and Izuku will confess their desires to be together forever before this manga ends.

I mean, this just goes to show you how us bkdks and Hori are literally on the same neural link, and we've been right about his methods of storytelling and how he's leaving trails of love inside these other couples to express concepts that are present in bkdk's own (soon to be) very romantic relationship.

It's a fun thought exercise to look at Togachaco's fight and predict what certain themes of theirs Hori will install into bkdk's talk/feelings they will express to each other... but there is a certain one, other than "forever", I feel very strongly about and will focus on here...

And that is Izuku's smile.

Something Katsuki once detested became the thing he most advocated for and longed to protect. His thumbs pointing to himself while talking about smiles... no wonder this had an air of Katsuki, himself, being the biggest reason Izuku smiles. "How could you leave me and choose this for us - a life of no smiling like that?"

At the start of the series, Katsuki couldn't stand Izuku's face or the smile he made at him. Whenever he saw it, he could only think of it as somebody laughing at him, looking down on him... but then DvK2 reframed Izuku's wide smiles at him and turned them into something pure, and genuine, and I think that's when Katsuki started to realise how much he was being loved the whole time.

And how could Katsuki possibly not reciprocate those earnest feelings from his special person who helped him find his heroic heart?

And this seems to be something Ochaco has noticed about Izuku? Ochaco, somebody who loves when people smile, noticed how big Izuku smiles when he talks about heroes... but especially the besotted faces he makes whenever he's with Katsuki... Of course she did.

On the Weekly Shounen Jump cover that featured bnha chapter 394, most of the characters on it are happy and smiling. Izuku isn't, however. That's because he's lost the ability to smile because Katsuki is still dead in the manga... Hori used this jump issue to build on this theme in the manga - that if you take Katsuki away, then away goes Izuku's smile, too.

Because Katsuki's very existence gives Izuku his happiness.

These two panels were supposed to be compared to each other - "Blood" and "Smiles" are two concepts mirroring each other in Togachaco's story. It's their different love languages. Toga felt like she couldn't ask Saito-kun for blood because he'd never accept her, Ochaco felt like she couldn't ask Izuku for his smile... because he'd also never accept her... she knew this was because Izuku already had somebody who gave him his sweetest smile... the same person who knew him more than anyone.

Chapter 395's title, 'shiawase no ue ni' was an interesting one that feels nuanced with Ochaco's feelings towards Izuku. It can be read as "Above (my) happiness..." I think this title is describing the concept of prioritising something else BEFORE one's own happiness. It's the perfect concept title for self-sacrifice, like Toga putting Ochaco's life above her own, but could ALSO be referencing Ochaco placing Izuku's happiness with Katsuki before her own feelings for him!!

Ochaco's story, at present, appears to be about putting aside unrequited love for a person she didn't quite understand, and instead placing her efforts into an attainable goal - rescuing somebody's heart from despair, and in doing so, becoming each other's important person. And then neither have to journey through life alone anymore. Ochaco knew this is something Izuku and Katsuki found in each other. In the image above, the girls are looking at Izuku and Saito, who won't turn their way, because they are both looking at a blonde boy next to them. Their "Sometimes Saturday." Katsuki.

The hidden face as Ochaco says she "came to like" Izuku Midoriya is quite suspicious. It belies what she's saying and she seems to either be hiding something negative or she’s not being truly forthcoming about her situation and feelings for Izuku. There are also themes of envy that finally showed up in Togachaco's dialogue which may be foundation Hori has laid down for the reveal of Ochaco's feelings later, as well. Envy about the attention Izuku received from others as a hero. Envy towards Izuku's innate passion for heroes, and the adoring faces he makes for Katsuki, perhaps.

So this smile that Katsuki has always misunderstood as something negative aimed towards him ended up turning into something... very lovely and important to him, as shown in Izuku's panel and how Ochaco described Toga's smile right afterwards.

And honestly... if we get little snapshots of the many smiles Izuku has made for Katsuki, while Katsuki is thinking about how adorable Izuku looks just for him when they're talking, I don't think I'll make it out of this bkdk reveal alive. Hori is going to obliterate us with whatever he's got cooking for them.

With all the major bkdk-alike couples now finished, the next post of this meta series will be: Part III, and the conclusion of this meta series ->

Back to Part One

[moongothic]

Seen quite a few people comment how they believe it's more likely the Dragodile Divorce happened due to ideological differences rather than because Dragon was too straight to stay with Crocodile, and. Like I did suggest that (or at least tried to) in my Crocodad Giga Thesis (really I should've been more clear about it in my essay so I wouldn't be writing this now lol), but like yes, Dragon and Crocodile absolutely have drastically different beliefs on How One Overthrows The World Government. And that absolutely could have contributed to the two separating and/or Crocodile deciding to go his own way instead of becoming a proper Revolutionary

Because like, as I tried to imply in the essay (but failed to deliver); if Crocodile's goal had always been to get Pluton so he could just nuke Marijoa off the face of the earth by himself and end it all in one go, then Crocodile and his way of thinking could work as this, like... contrasting opposite to how Dragon believes things should be done. Some fans (unfairly imo) call Dragon a "fraud" because over the past 20+ years he has only attacked Marijoa and the WG directly just once, and even when he did, instead of doing something to stop their corrupt reign for good... the Revs destroyed... the Tenryuubito's... food storage..? Like. Sure, that'll bother them for a little while, get their panties in a good twist etc, but in the end they're just going to demand more tributes and more free food. The Revolutionary Army may be successfully inspiring more people and more countries to rebel against the World Government's corrupt rule, but the Tenryuubito are still in power and will continue to be in power for a long time. And that's kind of how Crocodile would greatly complement Dragon within the narrative. Dragon being arguably "too soft" with his slow, methodical way of overthrowing the WG, while Crocodile would just kill them all without mercy, even if it meant hurting innocent people in the process. The two would act as the opposite sides of the same coin, the different extremes of the same spectrum. Crocodile would become like a response to the complaints people have against Dragon.

And yeah, the two having such wildly different ideological views could VERY EASILY contribute to a divorce, for sure.

My thing is that... If (and this is an if) Crocodile is meant to go a character arc and grow as a person, if we're meant to see him as a sympathetic character at all and maybe even feel bad for him... It'll be much harder to write that if the Dragodile Divorce happened only because of the two having ideological differences. Like who's going to feel bad for Crocodile if the two got divorced because Crocodile wanted to mass murder people and Dragon wasn't okay with it? That's not a tragedy, that's not a situation where we as the readers would feel for Crocodile and want to root for him. That's not something that would give a character unprocessed emotional trauma to heal from and overcome. He'd just be a villian who'd need to have his beliefs changed.

Where as, if The Divorce was caused by Dragon and Crocodile no longer being compatible due to Dragon being straight while Crocodile transed his gender... Even in the most respectful of scenarios that is a heartbreaking situation, a painful thing to go through. That is a tragedy without bad guys, a story where you could feel bad for Crocodile and want to root for him. That is a situation that would give him trauma to heal from.

And that's kind of why I so strongly believe in Crocodile's transition being a more important, contributing factor in The Divorce. Again, this does absolutely depend on what Crocodile's actual role in the story is going to be and whether or not he's even meant to go through a character arc at all. Like if he's not going to be that important and if he isn't meant to go through an arc then sure, Crocodile's transition doesn't have to matter one fucking bit. But if he is meant to go through an arc, if we are meant to feel bad for him and find outselves rooting for him eventually... From a writing perspective, that'll be far easier to do if we can find ourselves sympathizing with him even just a little bit.

Also like. Yes, you can have queer characters who are just queer for the sake of being queer, their queerness does not have to be an important aspect in them or a huge plotpoint in their story at all. Crocodile could be queer just for the sake of being queer. Because that's what it's like being queer, you just are what you are. At the same time, from a writing perspective. What would even be the point of making him queer if it didn't matter to his character at all and have an impact on his character?

Also while Crocodile and Dragon clearly have very different beliefs on how the WG should be dealt with right now, we don't really know when Crocodile came to his beliefs. Like for all we know Crocodile could've formed his worldview years after the divorce. Hell, based on the way he spoke to Vivi about her ideals, and how we know he spent over a decade in utter emotional solitude, his current worldview could have been partially born from resentment towards Dragon (and his ideals) that's been simmering away over the years.

All of this to say; yes I think the two's beliefs could have been a contributing factor in The Divorce, but from a writing perspective (and based on the direction I personally want to see the story go), I find it far more likely if Crocodile's transition was the main cause, one way or another.