#is he a blorbo??? maybe. is he hot??? maybe. do i just have old man related issues??? yeah. am i crushing??? maybe.

[silverselfshippingchaos]

one day I'll be able to tell what I feel towards certain characters LMAAAOOO

[anonymouspuzzler]

hey, it's a couple comics with the new blorbos!! I've been trying to make little one-off comics to practice drawing 'em, plus test out writing and characterization and such. it's been a lot of fun and I have more I want to do soon..!!!

bonus, a little one that, unfortunately for us all, really does sum up the dynamics:

(detailed image descriptions slash transcripts under the readmore!)

COMIC 1: BUCK MAKES COFFEE Panel 1 shows Buck (a middle-aged, barrel-chested white man with a bushy reddish mustache and two tufts of hair on an otherwise-bald square head), wearing his sleepwear (an off-white t-shirt that exposes his stomach, and forest green pajama pants), standing in a kitchen with orange wallpaper, staring at a 60's-style coffee-maker on top of a teal counter. He has an expression like he's just woken up and is reaching back to scratch his ass. Buck (thinking): ...hm. Wonder if Dynamo likes coffee...?

Panel 2 cuts in closer on Buck, who is looking thoughtful and reaching up with his other hand to scratch his mustache. Buck (thinking): Guess I could ask once he's awake...? But I dunno if he should even have any while he's still busted up-- Davey (off-screen): Oh!! Hey, good! You are still here!

Panel 3 cuts to Davey (a middle-aged, lanky Black man with long curly brown hair, a thin mustache, a diagonal scar from the top-left to bottom-right of his face, and right arm amputated at the shoulder) walking in a doorway. He is wearing blue boxer shorts and still has the amputated stump of his arm and some of his chest wrapped in bandages. There are also band-aids on his torso, elbow and ring finger. He is pointing up at the scar on his face, smiling and winking, with shoujo-style sparkles all around him. Davey: You were gone when I woke up, so I thought maybe you went out or something. Anyway, I'm feeling way better!! Got up and walked around without any vertigo, even! And look how well the stitches you did are healing!!

Panel 4 cuts back to Buck, who has turned slightly to look at Davey. His eyes are wide and he is blushing furiously, looking flustered. Buck (thinking, each sentence in a scattered thought bubble across the panel): OH NO HE'S HOT. okay calm down play it cool. say something clever already. BE NORMAL. quit staring at him oh my GOD. you have your whole rivals thing to maintain say something snarky. or just offer him coffee I don't know you gotta say SOMETHING

Panel 5 shows Davey from behind, looking at Buck with a mildly confused smile. Buck, still visibly blushing and flustered, leans back against the counter with one arm, the other on his hip, trying and failing to look casual. Davey: ...uh. Can I help with anything-- Buck (speech bubble overlapping Davey's and breaking out of frame slightly) DO YOU COFFEE

Panel 6 (the last panel) cuts to the other side as Buck, looking mortified, hunches over the counter facing away from Davey. Behind him, Davey stands with his arm stiff at his side, visibly holding back laughter and beginning to blush furiously. Buck (thinking, represented by faded words behind him, cut off in sections by Buck, the coffee maker and/or the edge of the frame): OH GOD O[cut off] NO WHAT TH[cut off]L IS WRON[cut off]TH YOU HE'[cut off]NG TO THINK YOU'RE A TOTAL ASOCIAL FREAK LIKE GOD DAMN BUCK [cut off] IS YO[cut off]FU[cut off] TALKIN[cut off] PEOPL[cut off]OW DO[cut off] SCREW [cut off]P THIS [cut off]ADLY Davey (thinking): HAHA OH NO An arrow pointing at Davey: instantly in love

COMIC 2: THE COMPUTER IS BROKEN Panel 1 shows a concerned Davey (hair in a ponytail and wearing a red leather helmet with built-in orange-lensed round goggles over his eyes, a light-blue pair of overalls, a brown leather glove on his left hand, and a prosthetic right arm made of various kitchen appliances and car parts) holding an old beige laptop that is emitting dark clouds of smoke. Behind him, looking on in concern, is Buck (wearing goggles on top of his head, a forest-green turtleneck sweater, brown gloves, and khaki pants), and Minerva AKA Minnie, a prepubescent white girl with freckles and red hair in giant twin braids. Minnie is wearing a white school uniform shirt with golden-yellow stripes on the sleeves, a light yellow sweater tied around her shoulders, and beige fingerless gloves, with her nails painted black. All three of them are totally silent, with a speech bubble with three ellipses coming from Davey.

Panel 2 cuts closer to Buck, on the left, glaring incredulously down at Minnie, who is shouting back indignantly and throwing her hands in the air. In the background, Davey is cradling the still-smoking laptop as if trying to reassure it. Buck: What did you DO? Minnie: NOTHING!! It's not my fault your ancient laptop barely works! Davey (in a tiny speech bubble as if under his breath): She doesn't mean it, baby.

Panel 3 shows Buck leaning over with one hand on his hip, the other shoving away a furious-looking Minnie by the top of her head. He is looking with mild concern over at Davey, who is clutching the laptop protectively to his chest, grimacing. Buck: Anyway... What's the diagnosis? Need me to steal a newer model? Davey: And deal with a planned-obsolescence brick of pure bloatware? Absolutely not. Trust me, I'll replace any parts that got fried and she'll be better than new.

Panel 4 shows Davey sitting down at a table, placing the laptop down. Minnie launches herself into a seat on the left side, stretching her arms out across the table, with a mischievously delighted grin. Minnie: Wait-- so you can swap out any parts? Could you add, like - a missile launcher code? Or hacking software? Or an infinite gil generator?

Panel 5 shows Davey turning to look directly at Minnie, who looks back with a neutral expression. Panel 6 then shows Davey leaning down towards her with a wide, knowing grin, while Minnie, grimacing, looks away guiltily. Davey: Minnie, did you brick the laptop playing the critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV, [the rest of the meme text is in a word balloon that fades into the background behind him and Minnie] Minnie: you can't prove anything

Panel 7 cuts to Buck scratching his head, looking off to the side in confusion. Minnie is in the far foreground to the right, rolling her eyes. Buck: Final Fantasy...? Like... the thing on Playstation? Minnie: UGH YOU'RE SO OLD Buck: Is Barrett still in it? He was always my favorite.

Panel 8 shows Davey, to the left, and Minnie, in front, both sitting at the table, with Buck seen from behind in the foreground, facing Davey. Minnie has her arms folded on the table and is resting her chin on her forehead, looking up at Davey, looking slightly fed up. Davey is sitting with his legs crossed, prosthetic arm folded over his knee, left elbow resting on one knee so he can pose flirtatiously with his hand on his chest and a smug, playful grin, with sparkles and hearts coming off of him. Davey: Your favorite was the Black guy with a big metal arm, fighting against a corrupt system, with a heart of gold under it all...? Buck (visibly blushing): Shut up and fix the laptop, Davey

[Bonus, inline comic description: Minnie, left, and Buck, right, sitting in a car. Buck is in the drivers seat wearing a beige jacket over his turtleneck and round, orange-lensed goggles over his eyes, staring straight ahead, expression hidden by the goggles and his mustache. He has his right hand on the steering wheel while his left arm leans against the window. Minnie is sitting in the passenger seat with both hands resting on a rat cage in her lap, in which Oreo, a black and white rat, can be seen peeking out. She is looking over at Buck with eyes narrowed and one eyebrow raised. Minnie: why does Davey call you babygirl Buck: how about we stop talking for a little while.]

[charmwasjess]

Some of Many People I'd like to get to know better

tagged by the delightful @wonderland-s-angel THANK YOU

Favorite color: officially blue but my buds have informed me I wear so much green that “you have kind of a color” (derogatory) so maybe I should reassess

Last movie/show: The Green Knight, which is entirely a Christmas film celebrating what is apparently my favorite color and also my favorite topic (the dangers of a friend group game night)

Last song: “Jane Jane” by Tia Blake followed by “For Reasons Unknown” by the Killers (was wrapping presents, tipsy)

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: I don't really eat sweets, but I love to cook traditionally sweet things savory (like a savory crepe) and I love spicy food the best, I genuinely feel like it gives me a little endorphin high

Relationship status: bisexually married to just the hottest fucking person you've ever seen in your entire life, so so stupid hot

Last thing googled: owl calls, specifically misspelled names of various north american owl species my dad was yelling about (re: I’m visiting my parents for Christmas)

Current obsession: owls I guess?? also problematic evil old men, plus currently just completely disgusting about Sifo-Dyas, seer of the Force, king blorbo, thinking about him all the time, hoping he's doing well, hugs and kisses, also honestly spending a lot of mental time on dahlias (the plant) because I might try to grow some seriously next year but I can't decide

*

No pressure if you don't feel like it, or if you already did it and I somehow missed it because I'm in a particularly stupid timezone, but I tag: @man-i-dunno

@purple-ant @bolithesenate @bosquedemel @readalong @count-doodoo @upstartgeek @calcedon79

[travelingneuritis]

so i just binged all of KinnPorsche at a rate that is frankly unsuited to the human body (we’re talking wombs on trains here) and I have. I have thoughts. 

please talk to me about this show i am so unwell about it

1. Let’s get this out of the way Apo Nattawin is so beautiful he makes my stomach hurt. His beauty offends me. He is so hot that I’m sincerely upset and frightened. When he makes a facial expression (which he always! is doing! for some reason! on this television programme he was paid to act in??) it just makes everything worse. this man is a menace. He is now my faceclaim (spiritual or literal) for like 5 different blorbos. Watching him go on his KinnPorsche Face Journeys made me want to write original fiction again. I am appalled.

1.5. he has an absolutely impeccable balance of Brazen/Sincere/Game/Clueless. Like I am genuinely really impressed with the way he bounces between modes in this show, or (more often) overlaps them. he’s for sure going on the shelf next to XZ as WWX in terms of The Sunshine One Has Layers.

2. wow this show is horny!!!!!!!! just as worldbuilding!! everyone is beautiful and everyone fucks!! eat shit MCU!!!!

2.5. the main pairing: this is weird for me because I am actually so floored by Apo himself that it is very, very difficult to even look at anyone else while he is on the screen. The shapes his face makes are mesmerizing. His absolute commitment to expression. The way he feels twenty-three. So then this other (certainly very handsome) guy is like: Hi I’m obsessed with you, and I GET that, but I don’t as immediately get why Porsche would be reciprocally obsessed? because Kinn is like. hot and rich. which is almost an active turn-off for me at this point. Like if i accidentally consume another sexy-CEO property i am going to scromit.

For the most part I am content with: Kinn offered Porsche the powerful gateway drug of the First Gay Experience (and that comes across crystal clear, btw: Porsche’s youth and inexperience with gay shit contrasts beautifully with his grew-up-too-fast briskness and his sexual wordliness in matters not involving other men). However the show seems to be trying to sell me on this great romance, too, and at least on first viewing, I’ve mostly had to just take that one on faith. Maybe Porsche likes Kinn because Kinn takes care of shit so he can just be a slightly sloppy twenty-three-year-old for a little while longer, idk. Spoiler: don’t get used to it buddy :(

3. Vegas was, as expected, a Huge Problem For Me Personally. i honestly want him to push me into traffic. what an awful, loathsome, broken little man. So many issues. Cheekbones like the wrong side of an iceberg. it’s unfair for a man to look like that while behaving like that, and all with his shirt unbuttoned down to his cum gutters! call this hotline if you too have been personally victimized by Vegas Theerapanyakul.

3.5. i was prepared for VegasPete because i have gone on tumblr in the last year, but I still feel like there were some surprises there, and they were not the surprises I was expecting (lol?). I am a pretty hard sell when it comes to like, formalized BDSM, so the narrative’s reliance on physical chains and like, leather gear during the Actual Sex Scene was a bit of an impediment to me enjoying it the way I enjoyed KP’s completely messed up drug/poison-fueled bi/sexual awakening scenes against various reflective surfaces. However I am an easy, slutty sell on toxic messy bitches who share real sympathetic concern hidden by serious boundary/consent issues (see also: my entire stash of SVSSS bookmarks), so that offset the chains nicely! Holy shit did they squeeze some insane toxic psychological fuckery in there. Which is hot. I don’t want anyone on this show to be healthy.

3.6. it should be said, i can’t believe: a. anyone other than his dad could break Vegas; b. anything other than The Moral Concept Of Friendship could break Pete; c. Vegas could be broken by Pete; d. Pete could capably break Vegas. yet here we are :)

3.7. and yes, I regard Vegas as the one who gets Broken here; idrk what the general fandom take is, but it seems like pete doesn’t break so much as just eventually (traumatically? yeah!) Accepts a Thing About Himself. It’s Vegas that gets actually shattered by the experience.

4. the guy who plays Baby Brother Kim looks like a (much hotter, cooler, classier, SE Asian) justin bieber and appears to also be playing, essentially: a much hotter, cooler, classier justin bieber. this isn’t a problem or anything i actually think this actor and character is cute as a button and deliciously unnerving. but i wanted to put that out there. i think it’s the eyebrows and the little mouf, combined with the general air of douchebaggery.

4.5. I don’t really have strong opinions about KimChay. I think this is primarily because Chay seems really, really barely legal, to me. The show leans into the youthful first crush thing, and Chay’s actor also just looks really young. i will say that kim’s scumbag street fashion schtick is a nice foil for chay’s fresh-pressed khaki preciousness. I like them? they’re cute? in general i don’t go out of my way to root for this many overlapping ships (everyone’s brother is fucking each other’s brothers.......okay sure) or First Love type ships, so I don’t actually care if they like, Stay Together in the fictional future. but sure, they’re cute!

5. I didn’t love the resolution for the main pairing? I was happy with most of the ways the show did or did not tie up its loose ends but I don’t see why Porsche ended up “rewarded” with the leadership of the Minor Family. to him, isn’t this kind of a millstone? My mans just wants to open a sick beach bar and get rawed by his tittylicious cousin for the rest of his life, i fail to see how becoming branch manager for an evil empire he’s not even a part of is going to make him happy, although i can see why his uncle would regard that move as a consolidation of power. so while it’s presented as a happy ending, i find it bittersweet at best.

however, i am sure they will be fine :/

in summary: Wow What A Show! 10/10 Tits & Ass

[horrocious]

Not a fandom perse but your ocs for rhe prompt thing!

WARNING OBSCURE LITTLE BRAIN GUYS ARE APPROACHING

blorbo Monserrat Belmont is like, the OC, to me. basically their union rep. hot-headed, tenacious, shamelessly horny. held up by a complex network of load-bearing vices. hopelessly in love with her comrade from the invasion days but basically because she was only feeling truly like herself when they were assassinating and sabotaging invaders together. she's a lot. I love her. also she's 5'2.

scrunkly I haven't really talked about the thing I'm writing that she's in, but right now Sister Minor Caela (you may refer to her simply as Caela, as she'll tell you before infodumping you about the different hierarchies of the Sisters Militant) is this for me. she is just a bit sheltered from growing up in a convent of fight nuns and so eager to please the party's healer (maybe to an unhealthy degree, WHO CAN SAY)but, critically, not actually dumb or close-minded. kinda-sorta dating a shapeshifter.

(it feels a little weird to write about "underappreciated/obscure" characters when they all just live in my brain and there's no reasonable expectation that other people like have my OCs on the mind. but I do want to use this space to talk about a character from my first big writing project (another story in itself) -- Violetta who was one of the main characters in the big trashy smutty thing I wrote to get myself back into writing. absolutely need to revisit that/her at some point. she's an old scarred knight who ends up taking charge of a battalion of soldiers through her personal magnetism, ability to improvise her way out of everything, skill with a warhammer and nice dick. she meets her apprentice from back in the day and immediately starts manipulating her and using her blind loyalty and besotted hero worship for her own ends.

poor little meow meow Godiva the Beast from She Walks Again, although due to my brain's inability to focus on shit for two goddamned seconds it might be a while before her meow meowness comes apparent in anything that gets published. she is a huge fan of heartless predation on the innocent and honestly if she weren't a vampire she'd probably bite people just as often. still a baby though.

horse plinko there's a character in Monserrat's setting, her boss Clara Sabat, who is so cold and mechanical that I kinda want to write stories in which she has to go through it just to see if there's a logical point at which she would actually McLose it or if she just... doesn't do that.

eeby deeby there's another character in the Monserrat story, Charles Lambert, who is an unhinged dickhead and I wrote him that way because I needed to get inspired so I wrote him to be extremely loathsome. his wife is also unhinged in a different way. he sucks so bad. sorry I invented you, man, just for the pleasure of kicking you into the superhell portal.

[quietbluejay]

Know No Fear 3

rob. bro. YOU KEEP DOING THIS and you get bodied EVERY SINGLE TIME. he seems like he's the calm rational one but he's…really not

vs fulgrim he did the exact same thing even going "i know it's a trap" and he would have died except the ultramarines ended up sacrificing themselves to get him out vs mortarion he did it like TWICE and only dad intervening got him out of that i don't actually remember what happens to him here but he does get stabbed

oh here's the part that made me like Lorgar

"it's called treachery, Roboute. It works very well." it sure does lol

lorgar talks a bit about Horus rising (heh) and Guilliman asks if he's on drugs

brother, singular the only one down so far is Ferrus, rip Lorgar once again, really wishing the only people who thought "hey the emperor is wrong and awful, maybe" didn't drink the chaos kool aid

Hot take : the imperium and chaos represent the false dichotomy presented by the modern right left political divide

and then things get…fun

it's also, incidentally, really interesting that Lorgar is like "we're here to kill you and take the Ultramarines out of the game" and meanwhile Kor Phaeron tries to corrupt him to chaos i do wonder what would have happened if they'd ended up on the same side well i mean, wouldn't be the first time two people with grudges ended up on same side (Magnus and Mortarion) but it's gotten reallllly personal here

actually wait no i forgot about how he got sent into the vacuum of space and then just managed to survive because he was so angry so like, that really should have worked but no one expected the plot armour guillirage

you know i think he might be the most plot armoured of all local accountant who evades taxes somehow the main character of the universe (yes he does canonically evade taxes) (i found out) (so my record of tax evading blorbos holds steady) (i think the only one who doesn't is maybe Windblade) okay spooky time and i really loved this bit for fully bringing the story out of the regular war/disaster and right into the twilight zone as well

oh THATS how he ends up in space

my original hc (re Lorgar and daemon) was that they switched out at the end and the daemon climbing out of lorgar's skin was a metaphysical metaphor made literal over the comm link idk if that's actually possible though

and now back to our Catholic representation, Old Person Oll Persson he's having a nice morning but some dude just showed up i remember when i read this i was like ???????? didn't he just die or something??

honestly i found this whole thing very confusing but apparently it's a meta plot in the Horus Heresy wrong word myth arc? also wrong plot thread that shows up across multiple books

ohhh time to get a look at the future

there's like 50 books or more that were written between this one and this actual scene happening and somehow i have zero memory of reading this??? i think i was still going ??? at the secret group of immortals eyy time to put together a team that's just made up of random people who happened to survive

including a catatonic teenage girl and another unskilled labourer honestly this would work better in another series or if this were about them

man you know it's funny how in every way the word bearers are the precursor to the imperium aw lorgar is making special copies of his book for all his brothers

star wars: we blew up one planet to smithereens kor phaeron: you are like little baby, watch this

oh yeah here we goooo the bit that made me lol (for context, he's talking about seeing corpses with bits eaten)

i was like "i didn't think you people HAD the concept of a war crime" okay, mr ventanus, how do you justify monarchia, by any of these codes and precepts by any legality by the moral code of mankind in the end it was just "the emperor ordered you to do it, and he is the highest authority, so, you did it" like i do realize the two aren't equivalent and the sheer level of destruction that was done to Calth isn't anywhere in the same league not to mention the corpse desecration and offscreen torture etc but regardless Monarchia is also not justified by these things also, this is a very fun chase scene aw yeah Tawren and Arook meet up with Ventanus and Selachon

oh hello stab me in the heart again why don't you

ooooh horror movie on Maccrage's Honour ultramarine feels fear rip Gage, his hand gets bit off by daemon AND NOW FOR MY FAVOURITE SCENE IN THIS BOOK (well tied for favourite with the lorgar one)

I LOVE THIEL SO MUCH

"today started in a different place" UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR today started in an entirely different genre

i am platonically kissing thiel on the mouth hahaha and now we find out WHY thiel was censured

lmaooo incredible

this whole bit still cracks me up the first time i read this i thought for sure he was getting lured by a lorelei to his death

well actually i hit another bit that cracks me up the two army dudes, in all the chaos met the young dudes wife by the river except well

and then they get caught by word bearer auxiliaries sacrificing people and i thought for sure they were going to die there and then Old Person saves the day and the ritual knife on this rando cultist turns out to apparently be a big deal like universe altering e_e okay maybe im misremembering maybe it's a different knife okay i am misremembering

okay we got a date for Monarchia! 44 years ago

[saltysaltdog]

describing transformers (tfp) characters as poorly as possible.

[Only one human included]

Arcee: have you seen zootopia? Okay she's like that but edgy.

Airachnid: kiss of the spider woman, but only the bits where the spider woman was in it and if she actually killed people and was actually a spider and was real.

Bumblebee: pinnochio with no mouth and no nose.

Boulder: if the iron giant had no weapons and no amnesia and friends

Blades: Knockout but if you tried to make him both less AND more gay at the same time. And made him fly.

Breakdown: if your cat bf picked tank as his class in his first mmorpg

Bulkhead: part-time scab finding out his job as a soldier isn't for kids. Trained out of self reflection and so carries on the cycle :(

Cliffjumper: old yeller but only the spoilers

Chase: Trained on if Cop Rock was condensed into 15 minutes and good.

Dreadwing: acts like he should be in a samurai movie but if it was honorable to use pipe bombs.

Heatwave: Tom from toonami . But tsundere.

Knockout: the sexy comedic relief.

Makeshift: when your oc would be too strong for the setting so the dm makes you roll a new character

Megatron: Blorbo! But not on the first watch. Maybe the 5th +all the dlc.

Optimus prime: LAUNCH THE ALL SPARK! -but you know, subtle about it.

Predaking: "I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other."

Ratchet: tsundere adoptive dad/grandpa. (Do you know how little that narrows it down?!)

Starscream: more emphasis on the star part but does have some really fun screams. Second place bc he's not even the most prolific killer on the show.

Skyquake: toddler wakes up from coma to throw tantrum and fall off a bridge.

Smokescreen: Second toddler wakes up from coma to throw a tantrum and fall off a bridge- to revive god!

Shockwave: just how we like our mad scientists, secretly pathetic.

Soundwave: :)

Ultramagnus: every Sargent from a movie that doesn't want to take the badges away but then also doesn't this time.

Wheeljack: war, crimes, yeah! Tied for most prolific killer.

Vehicons: Soylant green is- People! Surprisingly, have the most confirmed kills AND deaths. You go Glen Coco.

---

William "Bill" Fowler: the common man in a strange new world. But if the common man was a super soldier. And a secret government agent. And can fly jets while being over 6ft tall. And got rejected by hot milfs in his area. GODSPEED SOLDIER. *sniff*

[tinytinybumblebee]

The heat has finally calmed down here, still hot but nowhere near record breaking anymore, I hope it gets better for you soon!!

I have such a craving for stories where regressor hides their regression up until they v dramatically crash down to littlest age and staying there ages whilst they recover from all the stress, and since izzy is my precious blorbo, do you have any head canons for this? He already has such a young regression age if he crashed even harder he'd be literal 1 day old just sleeping and crying 😢 idk wether Ed not knowing, or knowing all along but not how to handle having a little on the crew so he ignored it before meeting stede would be angstier

Yay that's v good to hear!! And thank you ;w; the weekend is gonna be around 35°c buuut they say rain on Monday! And that tends to cool thingd down♡♡♡

And 🥺💕 oh my goodness

- If this was his first time ever regressing on the Revenge oh my, it's certainly one to remember!

The poor man has been stretched so thin the past couple days, they had nearly been raided so, they're still cleaning up after the couple hits thr main deck got. Raids always get Izzy tangled up in his anxieties, he doesnt want it to happen again so, he's been spending nights just watching the sea, looking for any symbol of an approaching ship

Of course, that certainly isn't best for someone who tends to regress due to stress. Izzy is very good at keeping this under wraps, able to slip away into his room and lock himself away until the feeling of small goes away. But, of course, with everything going on, Izzy has been completely unable to let himself slip, which means, it's been bubbling up.

And like all things, alll that's bottled up must come out.

Perhaps, to Izzy, it's the worst possible time. He's on the main deck, having told Pete for the third time to get back to work and not be flirting with Lucius. He's faaar more snappy than normal. So, of course the crew are sooo done with Izzy and decide that when Izzy is walking by, Wee John """accidentally"""" streches out his legs and causes Izzy to trip, face planting onto the ground.

The crew sorta laugh, maybe calling Izzy some names, simple teasing as a way of getting back at Izzy for his snappy ways

But, it's silence- for a moment they think they've knocked him out. But, Izzy stirs and,,,just starts to sob. And it isn't like, a regular sob, it's one you only hear from anguish/pure upset. The crew are just, bewildered, complete unsure of what to do!

Soon enough Stede is rushing to the deck, he knows a baby's cry when he hears one! He's certainly surprised when he sees that it's Izzy who is the one sobbing :^0

Stede's Papa instincts just go into overdrive, not even truly questioning how Izzy has been a regressor or how he's never known this- he scoops the crying swordsman, asking Button's to be in charge while he's away.

Of course, Stede has zero idea on how to care for Izzy- sure, Stede has taken care of tiny ones but, never someone as seeminly young as Izzy is currently. So, Stede starts with just bringing him to his room, somewhere quiet and more secure. He walks around the room, patting Izzy's back and bouncing slightly while he speaks so gently.

It's takes a while but, Izzy is left hiccuping but, no more tears. Stede can instantly tell Izzy is young young. He brings Izzy over to the day bed, talking through exactly what he was doing. He pulls out one of his own nightgowns, something much softer than the leather Izzy is currently wearing. Stede expected some resistance but, Izzy just lets Stede changed him, just staring at him with those hazel eyes, a certain curiosity that only an infant has.

Perhaps Ed eventually comes into the room (maybe he's onnthe mainland getting some supplies with the boys?) And sees Stede seated on the couch, holding Izzy with such care and attention.

Stede definitely ask Ed if he knew that Izzy regressed. Ed tries to skirt around the question, until Stede is giving him "the look" and Ed sorta just sits down, his head hanging slightly, saying how he knew but, he hadn't known how to care for a tiny one, he didn't want to mess things up but, in doing so, he hadn't realized that made Izzy hide this and bottle this away until,,,his bottle broke!💔💔

Ed looks over to the now sleeping Izzy. Guilt definitely washing over him.

But, Stede touches Ed's leg and smiles, "Perhaps this hadn't started on the right foot. But, maybe now you can make it up to him, be there for him. I'll be right here every step of the way. Sound fair,yeah?"

And Ed slowly nods, leaning closer in to take a look at the newborn Izzy. Stede probably musing about the things he's discovered so far about newborn Izzy and other general things one does for such young ones♡♡

[torterracotta]

BANSHEE???? THE COP?????

look, i went from the available choices, and my vote went to Beto anyway

Let's break these choices down, yeah?

Cyclops - tl;dr There are specific periods of time where Scott is "hot," and the vast majority of the time he isn't! Is he my blorbo? Yes. Do I run a sideblog where the header is his Foxy Grandpa Ass jutting out? Of course. Can I vote him in good conscience? I don't think so.

Colossus - the man spent how much time trying to fuck a fourteen year old? He heard Mutants were moving to a sex cult island and was baffled because his dead pal Jeff was a human. Pass.

Gambit - not even with Rogue's dick.

Wolverine - I only barely believe he can find the clit, and have ZERO confidence he could locate my prostate, and I'm unsure enough about his grooming habits that I wouldn't willingly put any part of myself in any part of him. Pass.

Iceman - Closeted Iceman? Maybe. But out Iceman is an overcompensating baby gay written almost exclusively by straight dudes, and I have a strict policy of never touching white gays who have "BBC" in their search history.

Warren Kenneth Worthington the Third - do you know what happens to Angel's love interests? I'd rather not be hatecrimed by Cameron Hodge for a few sweaty minutes of underwhelming halfhearted bottoming from a princess who provides the own stuffing for his pillows. Keep flying, birdboy.

Nightcrawler - I know, I know, the man is a sex icon, but I'm not getting involved in any of that family drama. If it's not his evil lesbian moms trying to kill me, it'd be his step-sisters trying to get back in his spandex. Not worth it, especially after all that shit in Way of X.

Havok - Matt Fraction's Clint Barton: The Mutant Flavor???? Listen, I adore a broken man who knows his place as much as the next nigga, don't get me wrong, but if I'm not picking Scott, I'm definitely not picking his Luigi.

I do appreciate his commitment to the bit, though.

Banshee - let's jump back to Cyclops for a minute. Without getting into shipping war bullshit, most of the times he's been "hot" are when he's playing off of Emma Frost, right? Emma's tertiary mutation is the ability to make everyone else more interesting just by association, because she's fucking great. I mean I just read an Iron Man book for her, for fuck's sake. Back in the 90's, when she was newly not-evil, she and Banshee were essentially the co-leads of Generation X, a book that, when it wasn't being the New New New Mutants, about two unreasonably sexy people who couldn't stand each other being unreasonably sexy at each other. Even putting that aside (and if you read a few issues, you'll get it), the man's spent decades dedicated to flying around with his tits out due to mysterious clothing damage, amd I appreciate that.

Sunspot - look, I fixated on him when I was nine, as the only character I could find who was like me at all, and that was ignoring all the gay subtext with his best friend even before it turned into outright queerbaiting. I grew up with him, and he's only gotten better since then. He's the only dude in my top 5 muties. He's flawless (give or take bad taste in men and a propensity for being whitewashed), he's perfect, he's hilarious, he's my vote AND yours, he's Sunspot.

Cannonball - in my seminal 2020 fic, "How Many Times Would You Say You've Been In Love," I summed Beto's Best Boy up thusly:

Sam laughed, a quiet, gentle, chuckle that crinkled the corners of his eyes, not that Roberto could bring himself to look at them. Instead his own eyes travelled everywhere else, from Sam's mess of a mop, to his strong jaw, to the gap in his front teeth, his okay-for-a-white-boy lips, the freckles that covered his nose, and ending up… 

Do I love Sam as a character? Absolutely, he's one of the best. But he's not hot, he's a lapse in taste. Love conquers all, they say. 😔

Bishop - as one of exactly two Black men the poll listed, I want to give Bishop his flowers, but I have never read a good Bishop story where he wasn't awful. No baby gays, but no self-hating Black genocidaires, either.

[crowtrobotx]

Give us 3 things you like best about your top 3 blorbos plsnthx

I am going to stick to canon/not OC blorbos bc I feel like I talk too much about Lottie and everyone is annoyed by it

Hector Barbossa - (POTC)

I would be remiss to not first include the OG blorbo. The introductory Old Man. The character that made me realize something was a little Funky™️ about my gender/sexuality.

Okay, first of all, I love how sincerely full of himself this man is. He really thought he could pull Keira Knightley despite being the scrunkliest pirate on earth and you know what - good for him!!! Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you’ll land among the stars etc etc. We love an unconventionally attractive person who knows they’re hot shit.

The fashion sense/vibes - the fucking ostrich feathers in the hat. The rings. The big ass necklace. The single fang earring. The swagger walk. The matching pet monkey. The bisexuality of it all. In all seriousness, I love the way his outfit and accessories serve to play up his overly dramatic theater kid energy but also are very interesting when you consider that he came from extremely humble beginnings. He’s showing off what he’s fought tooth and nail for and it is working for him, honey.

I really, genuinely love that we got glimpses - in the first movie - of the fact that the character we were seeing wasn’t always like this. Ten years of being a walking corpse had twisted him beyond the recognition of people who knew him (even Jack looks pretty damn horrified a few times despite having been on the receiving end of his bad behavior before) and YET. When he gets resurrected we find out… he still sucks lmao. Like, he’s not outright cruel and isn’t totally insane anymore but he’s still ultimately just a selfish, snarky, conniving geezer who’s only part of the “good guys” because it serves him and his interests. There wasn’t really a redemption arc (the 4th and 5th movies are not canon, fight me) and he, at best, just ended up being the weird unsavory uncle to the main cast. What a king.

Sandor “The Hound” Clegane - ASOIAF/GoT

If you followed me prior to 2021 you know this was my prior HBIC (head blorbo in charge.) I still love him dearly and I hope he’s enjoying his retirement.

Look at him. No, really, look at him. Help??? Aside from me being a thirsty bitch, I have an extreme soft spot for characters who are visibly different and not in a purple eyes/horns/otherwise “sexy” way. Bodies are lived in and should look as such - and, this might be shocking to some people, disabled and/or disfigured people exist and they’re just as cool and hot and worthy as anyone else (I would know 😎.) I actually think the show should have gone a little harder on his burn scars but oh well. Sheesh, I need a cold shower.

His road trip arc with Arya. Need I say more? Y’all know I am WEAK for father/daughter dynamics and it’s even better when they’re both murderous lunatics. I love that she makes him softer but he doesn’t try to restrict or control her. I love that he tries to show that he cares in the only way that he knows how which is by teaching her how to rip/maim/tear/kill. Like, I know everyone enjoyed this part of the story because there were some genuinely hilarious moments and it was absurd, but I think under the surface we got some really fascinating insight into who he actually is and we were robbed of cranky but proud adoptive dad!Sandor in the show. I’ll be mad forever.

Fuck the city. Fuck the kingsguard. Fuck the king. We stan - I am obsessed with his realization that he doesn’t need or want to do anyone’s bidding anymore. I love that he turns heel but also has no idea who he is once he’s not Cersei’s dog - I love that he initially relies on his warped perception of people and the world to survive and slowly but surely begins to realize that maybe he doesn’t need to focus on revenge and violence all the time. I think it’s pretty obvious that GRRM is kind of going for a “a dog’s behavior will reflect its master’s” thing with him and if we ever get another book (lol) I am excited to see what becomes of him. Because he’s pretty clearly not actually dead.

Karl Heisenberg - Resident Evil Village

Literally WHERE have you BEEN if you didn’t see this coming lol. The reigning champion. Completely unchallenged for over a year and a half. I am chewing on him as we speak like a squeaky toy.

Okay, like… obviously I’m very fond of his design. I love that he’s fat. I love that he’s got a super unkempt beard. I love that his hair is grey and that his clothes are dirty and he’s covered in scars. I love that he looks like someone who works (in contrast to Alcina, for example) and isn’t concerned with his appearance. This is such a small and shallow thing maybe but with the tendency for media to just make everyone Extremely Conventionally Attractive, I’m enamored by characters like this. Actually, this has been a thing across all three of these guys, hasn’t it? Hmm.

Completely love that he’s an actual genius with the apparent imagination of a little kid who just downed an entire box of sugary cereal. “What if I stuck this propellor engine onto a dude’s torso.” “Drill arms never hurt nobody.” “JET PACKS!!! I need jet packs!!!” He’s such a fucking nerd, too, like his deranged cackle followed by “…ending recording” on that tape you find is so cute and stupid. Karl what the hell is going on I love you so much. It makes me wonder who he would have or could have been if he hadn’t found himself kidnapped into an abusive cult - I’m getting strong “Bill Nye but make him chaotic neutral” vibes. Eccentric raccoon man. Peepaw is feral and I’m going to fuck him.

If you’ve ever read anything I’ve written with him in it, you know I like to play up the fact that it’s pretty clear (to me, at least) that the swagger and showmanship is a mask for… a lot of shit. And that is extremely compelling to me - even if it’s ultimately just my HC. The stutter, the “sorry about that” after Sturm keeps making noise, the diary entries and comments that seem to indicate he hates his body after what Miranda did to him, his pretty heartbreaking last words. I don’t really see the genuinely confident daddy dom that a lot of the fandom sees - and no hate if you do!!! For me, with the canon fact that he never leaves the factory, he reads to me like someone who is incredibly socially inept and inexperienced, someone who is struggling to accept what he is now, and, perhaps most importantly, someone who really believes he’s the hero of the story and is blind to the fact that his rage and pain have turned him into what he hates most. I feel like he says all these things that make him sound like he’s full of himself but then you see him and he’s… just some guy. Living in a dirty factory with clothes that should have been thrown out a long time ago. And he’s lost it, and he’s furious, and yeah on some level he’s a bit of a selfish jackass but I wonder how much of his posturing is him needing to hear himself say it because he doesn’t really believe it and is terrified he won’t be strong enough to free himself. I just love him, y’all. I’m not sure we’ll ever see him again (in RE canon) but I’m going to keep making content for him for a long time, I hope.

[probablygoblins]

A Comprehensive List of my F/Os

Hello Tumgle.Cum :)

Here, I will document all of my F/Os, and why I decided to wife them up. This is absolutely an excuse to yell about my blorbos, and you couldn’t stop me if you tried. All of this is MY OWN INTERPRETATION of the following characters. Canon can suck my dick :)

Ghiaccio

Ah, my original Best Boy! Husband Prime, if you will. I was barely into JJBA the first time I saw this idiot. I took one look at him and went “Yep, that’s him. He’s the one. That’s my next hyperfixation.” And I never looked back. Did I even know his name at the time? No. Did that stop me from thirsting after him? No. I needed that ice dick like I need air.

First of all, his design is amazing. I love the mostly monochrome design with the pops of red! It looks like he’s wearing converse, which is amazing in it of itself. He looks so cute in his glasses. And the hair? The hair is immaculate. Ghiaccio’s curls make me wanna run around my room banging my fists on the walls and floor and my desk. They look SO SOFT. If I ran my fingers through that man’s hair I would be RUINED. And I know, canonically, he’s always making ugly faces. But I think they’re so endearing. And when he’s not making gremlin faces, he’s so damn handsome.

Personality-wise? That man is the biggest tsundere and you CANNOT convince me otherwise. He is an enraged wet kitten hiding under a box. I am picking him up by the scruff of the neck and holding him as he takes swipes at me. Angey lil boy makes me go doki-doki. Ghiaccio strikes me as the type to be super cold when you first meet him, no pun intended. He doesn’t like to engage, and he doesn’t like to get close to too many people. But if you can get past the icy exterior, he can be so warm and sweet in his own way. His love language is definitely quality time. He’d just love to sit next to me and play games and bask in my presence.

Hol Horse

Can someone say HIMBO? First time I laid eyes on him, I knew. This man is a big fucking idiot. And the further I got into SDC, the more it solidified my opinion. Thing is, I love idiots, and I am also a bit of an idiot, so we’re a match made in heaven :)

Hol just looks so... dusty. A dusty crust man. A stinky ol’ cowboy. Probably a bit older, but has none of the wisdom that comes with age. He has 3 braincells. Two are dedicated to guns and horses, and the remaining one is always thinking about ME >:D His color scheme is really pleasant, and his pants? Exquisite. They may not be assless chaps, but I adore them anyway. And his weird double shirt thing he has going on is charming. And the FUCKING SIDEBURNS. AWOOOOOGA.

Overall, Hol is just so funny and charming. He may be a villain, but he’s a villain I adore. Nothing ever goes right for him, and he doesn’t exactly take it in stride, but he presses on nonetheless. Whatever antics he gets up to never fail to make me laugh. Love me a big goofy, dusty cowboy. I’m always thinking about the good western-style romance we could have. Going on long horse rides together, where one of us falls of and has to rescue the other. Dancing under the stars. Drinking on the front porch and making of fun of each other, dying of laughter. Deep down, Hol’s a big mischievous golden retriever. And he’s perfect.

Prosciutto

I blame @jellyluchi for this one. She exposed me to a hot old man, and I am left to wallow in the consequences of her actions. In all seriousness, I didn’t used to be that into him. I thought he was kinda mean. After consuming way too much fanfic and art of Prosciutto, I still think he’s mean, but now I’m SUPER INTO IT. He is so SEXY and MEAN and DOMINANT and I want him to STEP ON ME with his OLD MAN BOOTS.

I mean, have you SEEN HIM. He’s just so dapper!!! The colors of his suit? SEXY AS FUCK. The ascot? I want to pull it off him, and then I want him to tie my wrists with it. Or maybe tie his wrists with it. Whatever works. The deep V-neck is so fucking slutty, and I can do nothing but stare at those glorious boobies. I love his hair, too. Prosciutto’s hair is so unique. I’ve never seen anything like it, but it’s so pretty. 10/10 Old Man design.

Like I said before, this man is MEAN. He is NOT USED to being emotionally vulnerable, and covers it up by being a dick. He would definitely make me cry a couple times, but he’s so old and rich and emotionally stupid, he doesn’t know what to do. So he just... throws money at me. And I can laugh at how awkward he is trying to apologize. And when he’s not being mean and awkward, he’s so tender. And sweet. And cuddly. He’d wrap me up in his arms and lay me on his chest, telling me how beautiful he thinks I am. And if that’s not what I get in an IRL relationship, I DON’T WANT IT!!!!!!!

Cioccolata

Oh boy... this bitch... another man I got into because of fancontent. If you don’t know already, I am the biggest fattest slut for pet play. It’s in my top 3 kinks. And then I read a series of headcanons about being Cioccolata’s puppy, and it was all over for me. His is moldy and gross and a terrorist. But he’s my moldy gross terrorist.

Idfk what to say about his appearance, he’s just.. mold. His hair looks like mushroom, or perhaps seaweed. He’s hot weird green face paint. His eyes are funky. He wears half a thong. And yet... he just looks so fun. It’s a fun design. I wanna pull on his mushroom hair and call him Doctor~

Cioccolata is a nasty, terrible man. But my brand has sort of become simping for awful terrible men, so there’s really nothing new here. His voice is sexy in both sub and dub. He may be insane, but he’s sexy. And I love when a crazy insane evil guy has their Person(or Persons) that they’re soft for. Just... Cioccolata who’s so crazy and evil in public. He’s still kinda crazy and evil in private, but he’s more of a crackhead than anything. Random headpats. Staying up til 4am watching horror movies. Participating in whatever weird experiments he’s doing, and bantering about it. I love villain love <3

Secco

What’s better than ONE pet play-obsessed thot? TWO OF THEM, OF COURSE!!! I knew a little about Cio before watching Vento Aureo, but I had ZERO INFO about Secco. And as soon as I saw him running around like a feral possum and fucking shit up, I knew. That’s my soulmate.

Secco’s design is pretty simple, all things consider. You only ever see him in the suit, but the suit is honestly... kind of sexy. What little we can see of his face is big and fucked up. But I LOVE big fucked up eyes and hyper-detailed teeth. Like, sir? Sir??? Please bite me. I need it. Without the suit, I think he’s just a fairly skinny, pale dude. He’s probably got a lot of scars from Cio doing experimental surgery on him, but he’s a freak and he’s into it. I’m a proud part of the Blue Hair Secco Cult. He has indigo hair and it’s messy and curly and falls down his neck and it’s FUCKING HOT.

I love the duality of “acting as a man’s dog” and “striving to be better and important”. He’s a fucked up little guy. He’s feral and loves to go crazy and tear shit apart. But he’s really smart in his own right, and probably has trouble articulating it, cuz he’s so used to being a dog. But he loves letting go and being a little creature. I’d love to just lose all my inhibitions and go batshit with him. I wanna wrestle with all night long, and get dirty in the garden. He loves to do stuff with his hands. But he’s also happy to just sit next to each other and draw. And I love that.

Hazamada

So... uhhhhh.... hmmm... *sweats* I just... I saw a really good piece of art of him, from before Araki babygirlified him. Not, like, BUFF Hazamada, but just a real cool-looking, skinny alt Hazamada. That was it. That was all it took. I am weak for greasy alt boys. Don’t look at me.

Hazamada is literally juts Some Goth. He looks like a wet greasy napkin. Hasn’t slept in his entire life. Spends all his time watching anime and drawing fucked-up questionable shit. But, y’know? That’s part of his charm. I love the sleek glossy black hair. His coat looks badass, and his stand is super cool. There’s not much to his design, but I love it all the same. Dumbass Edgy Alt Hazamada supremacy.

He’s just so weird and unhinged. We didn’t get a lot of him in the series, and what little we got was rather violent. But we love that for him. Love me a fucked up little guy. Fucked up little weeb men own my heart. I HC him to be kind of depressed, and with deep-seated anger issues from loneliness. He needs a hug. Therapy, mostly, but also a hug. And I am happy to hug him and inhale the smell of paper and ink. I just know he’s an artist. Draw a lot of surrealist art, and scenes from his favorite anime series. I’d love to sit and watch him draw and talk about nothing for hours. And afterwards, we can binge watch his favorite series, and I can watch how his eyes light up at the climactic scenes.

Mikitaka

EIRIAN, ANATA NO EIIIIIRIAAAAAAN!!!! God, I loved Miki from the first episode he showed up in. He’s so weird. And so very Gender. Clueless Non-Human is one of my favorite tropes. Sometimes he’s a little awkward, but aren’t we all? And I would absolutely eat the ice cream made from his fingers.

LOOK. AT. THIS. MAN. He is TOO DAMN PRETTY. The hair. The eyes. The nose ring connected to his elegant ears. I could swoon right now. All the charms on his outfit are so well-designed, and I’ve taken the time to study each of them. My favorite flavor of Miki is in the Super Fly episode where his hair is all curly. HE IS JUST. SO. PRETTYYY!!!!!!

And oh my God, he’s adorable. He’s so sweet and awkward. He just wants to make friends and do the right thing. He’s not quite sure how to act just yet, but he’s doing his best. Whatever he does, he puts his whole heart into, and I admire him. I could teach him so many things and take him so many places. Get him a milkshake. Stargaze with him. Tell him about Earth constellations while he tells me about the stars he recognizes. Pet dogs with him. I want to show him everything and watch him grow.

Keicho

Hehe... well, I did say I liked terrible men, didn’t I? But I’m a slut for a redemption arc, and I WILL make it happen. WATCH ME. I honestly fell for him watching the live-action DIU movie(which you should totally watch btw). Not because I like Actor Keicho. I actually think he looks kinda funny. But that got me thinking about how cool manga and anime Keicho were. And, well, now I love him. So that’s that.

His design actually isn’t all that cool to me. He looks like a dork. But who’s gonna teach him how to dress? His dead mom? His weird goblin of a dad? It’s not his fault he looks like a goober. The ‘BADCO’ logo on his collar is a nice touch, though. Oh, and DON’T get me started on the hair. His hair is a disaster. Wtf is it even supposed to be??? Keicho. Sweetheart. Love of my life. Please go outside. Look at a normal person. DO YOUR DAMN HAIR LIKE A REGULAR GUY.

Keicho’s personality shown in the series isn’t what really draws me too him. It’s the potential hidden in that personality. Imagine if he got to live and had to deal with the grief of all the death he’s caused. And knowing that there’s still part of his dad left in what DIO created of him. He thinks he’s a monster, and perhaps he is. But he doesn’t have to stay that way. He needs a good mix of comfort for his mental and emotional wounds, and a kick in the ass for his arrogance and stubbornness. But I think he could come back. I’d hold his hand until he could walk confidently on his own, and even after that.

[shjapologist]

please introduce yuor blorbos to us

kyaa okay so one thing about me is that i love whzn theres a guy who lacks common sense . i'll introduce them by order of current real estate taken in my brain

lets start w lu bixing my good friend lu bixing from can ci pin

hes a scientist hes a gangster hes a genius hes a teacher he exclusively goes by the YOLO principle and if he stops for 2 seconds to think about the cost of his life he will start spiralling immediately

this is a man who has invested 1000 points in charisma and intelligence and 0 on wisdom. a man who will inject himself w a supersoldier chip just to see what it does. a man who gets himself out of shit by talking as fast as possible and is so convincing he sets off chains of events that end up sparking revolutions

introduced as showy flirty love interest, IS the showy flirty love interest but has the advantage of being insane so hes not boring abt it. guy who makes spreadsheets in his mind about how the commander has to be in love with him now definitely. hes gathered the data. hes using the scientific method. no way around it. frankly incredible

a very genuine and straightforward guy :) hes also so vaain it's def a charm point. very aware that he has terrible terrible taste in men as well but cannot stop himself from being down catastrophic for the biggest bastard in the galaxy. this is only one of the many times he acknowledges it :

hes such a charming character ive never insta stanned like this in my life. occupying every one of my spare thoughts these past few days i cant stop thinking about him and his happy childhood <- said in the most wretched tone

and. lastly. he is the FUUNNIEESSTTTT

on to blorbo number two sung hyunjae from sclass

very recently dethroned from number one. another thing abt me is that i like men who are huge cunts 😔

in his cringe toxic murderbasement ml era for the first hundred chapters of the novel terrible vibes hes got you booing and throwing tomatoes And Then His Birthday Happens and youre never the same person you once were

the bzst way to describe the character developpement this guy went through is a pic of him bllack and blue all bones shattered at the bottom of the stairs w a giant arrow pointing down like "WHAT LOVE DOES TO A MF" HEEEEESSS so special. to me. with his dumbass bloody fork

hes a guy that values his agency over anything else he loves being himself he loves living as the guy who is sung hyunjae so im a big fan of how its always at a certain level of danger. lol. his pre-regression self is so miserable and pathetic everything in that regard went terribly wrong for him his intro is one of my fav arcs :)

anyways he actually has the potential to be a genuinely nurturing presence but its so rare for it to be pertinent to his personal agenda you wouldnt Know. but then You Do Know. bc he gets drop kicked into being a real boy through escalating psychosexual games and being offered a reaching hand time and time again by the only person who ripped through the script and called him a huge bitch. you also see him tip over from standard selfishness into the kim dokja register and that is a terrible thing to happen when theres a han with abandonment issues around.

rly enjoyed seeing him turn into a fucking auntie who knits hot pink ensembles in his spare time and discovers the mundane wonders of the world and maybe the indignity of human emotion who knows(LMFAO) so anyways yes tje power of love saved him znd now hes malewife stepdad supreme half of the shit he does makes my face clip through my bones from embarrassment he has to be the most annoying fictional man ive ever seen. (through tears) youre old and decrepit grow up already bitch!!!

and so sorry im about to make you look at truly heinous images but a very very fucking funny thing that happened in the sclass webtoon is that they called on a guest artist to render his scenes in the most shoujo like way possible. NEVER recovering rom this

numberthree . yan suizhi from first class lawyer...

genius lawyer is thought to have died, is instead shoved in the body of a random guy . so the first thing he does is join up the internship program organised by the college he used to teach at to investigate his own murder. the problem is that he is complete PANTS at pretending he is not a genius lawyer so his mentor is inventing new stages of grief to go through daily

he's the impenetrable cheerful facade type. a very good bald faced liar.. once you defrost him you find out hes living his life to the fullest to cope with how deeply lonely he is :) heres a part that rendered my brain to mush

i miss you yan suizhi i need to catch up to lawyer novel sometime for real.

blorbo number four always a constant little buzz in the back of my mind YOO JOONGHYUK(allof them)

i dont think i need to wax much poetic about him. the only time traveler progamer eldest daughter grill boss . i think this should go in a museum

ok thats all the main ones i think . there's a crouching blorbo in lin jingshu from can ci pin as well but i havent seen quite enough of her yet for her to properly latch onto my brain. airing out the deep evil inside of her now that society is collapsing. crazy

thank you for listening <3 :)

[annaizscribbling]

*kicks ur door down, slams twenty dollars onto ur desk* I need some info.

im gonna send u a different ask for each question lmao SO.

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT A MOMENT OF POTENTIAL REMUS!!! how did he get here!!! may i question u on his childhood perhaps?

how did he become an assassin? for how long? and will he still be a cryptic little shit in this universe like he is in some of your other fics? (im assuming not because he’s actually human now and not a borderline possessed figment of someones imagination but. still. i might as well ask)

*I accept the twenty dollars and immediately lick it before tucking it into my shoe.* That can be arranged.

I love remus so much you don't understand he's so sdSJHBSKSAKFKSGGS yes yes yes. Funky trash assassin with weirdly impressive emotional intelligence who is also a father. Racoon man, dumbly smart, soft, but good at murder, equals kinda hot ngl.

also love how excited I get over every single character lolllll. You mention any of them and suddenly they're my best and most favorite blorbo. I am aware of this flaw, it simply cannot stop me.

In all honesty, I don't have a ton of detailed backstory for Remus besides the fact he was unhinged and broke many many laws. His back story is actually pretty similar to my canon!Calypso backstory, but the favored child was his twin and they weren't particularly rich, and he did fake his death, but he was older, and it wasn't because he was locked in a basement for petty theft as a 10 yr old. Okay so maybe it's somewhat different.

I'll summarize by saying he was happily a problem child, very smart, and enjoyed chaos. He got into tons of fights for the hell of it, and ended up faking his death for good in highschool (and again later for funsies)

He would end up running away and accidently meeting a younger Janus while Janus was pulling a job. Jan was still new to his recent profession, which was a form of vigilante-ing and careful assassinations. Remus figured out what was happening and obnoxiously followed and pestered Janus the entire time before saving Jan's life towards the end of the job.

Janus never ended up shaking Remus, tho he tried for weeks to lose him, Remus popped up no matter what he did. Eventually, Janus just accepted it and brought Remus home to meet Virgil, who was thoroughly confused. From then on, the three were a weird little mismatched family.

They meet when Remus was about 18, and Janus was 29, and Virgil was 17ish. When A Moment with Potential takes place, it's about 10 years later

Remus' natural skills and grey morals had him catching on quickly and progressing Janus' growing operations. It only took him a few years to become increasingly well known for his brutal yet frighteningly strategic fight style.

Remus is indeed a bit of a cryptic lil shit, just not in the same way as like,,,, Low Battery!Remus, who is an all knowing menace. Here, he's just a menace. He's very intuitive, logical, and observant, he just doesn't care too much unless it benefits his tiny family. he's super hard to read and harder to control, giving him that cryptic vibe, but he doesn't know everything, he's a bit more affectionate, and he is wrong sometimes.

I apparently have a bit of a trademark for writing Remus as mentioned above, like a 'cryptic little shit' but that's only because I have no idea how else to lmao. I'm not really vulgar by nature, and I don't struggle with intrusive thoughts, which makes it harder to pull from my own life (which is exactly what I do with literally everything I write to some capacity) so I took some creative liberties with Remus and just stuck with them. I personally don't mind when fics feature out of character characters, as long as those new/altered traits are consistent and deeply incorporated into the story, which I try my hardest to do. with Remus, apparently it worked out because people adore this guy. I get so blushy and dumb, but people have really liked my Remus characterization, which honestly, dude, just thrills me. It's pretty damn cool, cuz I love him too <3

[notthestarwar]

character traits I'm looking for in a blorbo:

Familial love above all else, against the odds. Family- Loving someone you know is doomed as you couldn't not. You can't save someone from themselves. You can't save your brother.

A stolen childhood. Violence as a given, you're good at it but does that make you an awful person? If you could choose, you'd choose anything but. A life that can only kill you but which you seem to have no escape. One crap card dealt after the other. Learning how to show love and care for people long after you should have and understanding things that adults struggle with long before you should have. You were that kid who was 'Mature for their age' knew how bills worked and housekeeping. How to read people. but now as an adult you've no idea how to make friends?? To talk to people???

The need to protect. Aquiring a child because they deserve better than what you got. Being sure anyone is better than you but not leaving them till you find it. Well if you can't find it, guess you'll have to become it

Intelligence- high. Emotional intelligence-nil

Perpetrator who refuses to see themselves as anything but a victim. A shitty situation that made them what they are but didn't make them do what they chose to do. Everyone around them can see they are the problem.

Then, 2 flavours:

- thinks they are helping, making everything worse

- trying to do better and doing better, but thinking they make everything worse

If it isn't there I'll probably just imagine it is there.

It's gotta be sad but funny OK. Doomed from the beginning, but life is amusingly absurd. Absurd like absurdist? No, as in: its just stupid. Their life is a joke

Here's what I'm giving:

Jango-

-The emotionally distant parent who you kind of feel bad for at first,

-you understand why they are fucked up but then they keep doing increasingly shit things Which are getting harder and harder to rationalise

-While the stuff at the start was incredibly shit and bad luck, you're beginning to realise everything lately is self inflicted

-Had a bad childhood but is now determinedly creating much worse ones for his kids and is refusing to see it

-No friends, he's rejected most of them. Now only a few old ones left who are around to try and save his kids and have given up on him

- you look back at when he was young and can't believe how well intentioned he was??? What happened

- in with a terrible crowd, only interested in making him worse and definitely not calling themselves his friends

Padme-

-Burnt out child star.

-Life is spiralling out of control- this is fine

-Set on a course of self destruction

-Increasingly erratic. Contradictory. -Actually quite good at her job but as soon as she's not at work she does a load of things that are ultimately going to end her career

-All the handmaidens waiting for it to blow

-Retail therapy

-Impulse celebrity wedding. What do these 2 even have in common

Anakin-

- had a terrible childhood through no fault of his parents

- since he was like 10 they've been trying really hard to make up for that. He can't see it

- he is completely oblivious. Every time they lovingly try and fail to cut him off so he stops landing in jail, he's convinced they hate him

- weird creepy old man friend. Keeps buying him gifts. He's completely oblivious to the weirdness

- complete man child

- landed a incredibly hot competent girlfriend, you have no idea how. Maybe she thinks she can fix him? She isn't trying very hard

- is a mentor to a teenager, his dad set it up to try and get him to straighten up. He's completely led her astray and she's dropped out of school and nobody can get hold of her. Too busy drag racing

-ridiculously intelligent. Could have like been an astronauts or an inventor or something and cured some disease. More interested in programing droids to pull pranks. Complete underachiver

- only friends are pre mentioned old man, a droid, his girlfriend and the cousin who's pretty much given up on him and is out of the county (aayla)

Obi Wan-

-complete overachiver

- emotional intelligence 0

- refuses to admit how badly his emotionally distant father affected him

- unwilling and unknowing step in the generational trauma cycle

-drops devastating bits of backstory when you least expect it and will not elaborate

- thinks that he drags people down and so tries to push them away before they get hurt/ reject him

- sacrificed his adult life so he could raise his father's secret child. Immediately dropped out of college, went to parenting classes and became the biggest pushy parent known to man but can't just tell him he loves him.

-tries to make everything a lesson. Anakin is not receptive. Feels like he's being picked on/ can't do anything right

- raves about Anakin to everyone but anakin.

- Has pictures he likes to show everyone, causing much confusion to old ladies on public transport as his 'son' looks his age.

-The council ban him from talking about Anakin as he interrupts every meeting with a 'funny'/isn't my son great story

-completely blames himself for everyone in his life being terrible

- it is his fault but only because he has no time for the decent people and spends all his time trying to predict and hide Anakins next fuck up

- is just a nice dude so everyone in his life tries to keep in contact and help him out even if he's a total drain who never replies and can't ever accept help

- convinced he got his job out of nepotism but its 100% just because he's good at it

- only attracted to people who are bad for him. If you aren't mean to him he thinks you hate him.

Cody-

- massively intelligent, massively competent, could have been anything but he's here, doing the job his dad refused to do himself And looking after his brothers

- his dad is just the worst guy ever but he refuses to acknowledge it as he doesn't think its fair on his siblings (they all hate the guy too and don't understand why he's so forgiving. Apart from the youngest who loves every part of their dad and hates Cody as he thinks he's competition)

- terrified of becoming Jango

- gets overwhelmed by any of the emotional stuff and so most of his siblings think they resent him but actually they are the only good thing in his life

- constantly doing stuff behind the scenes for his brothers but fucks up every time he tries to tell them he loves them

- his boss is a mess but actually a nice guy, why does he work here??? He tries to make the guy go home and eat and was trying to get him to resign as this place is eating him up but the guy just thought it was because he wanted his job and so promoted him so now they are like doing the same job??

- he refuses to acknowledge this because that guys boss is an arsehole (palps) so instead they are stuck in this passive aggressive race to do the others paperwork

- maybe a little bit in love with his boss but really embarrassed about it. Frankly, Cody deserves better than that guy who can't even remember to eat and unrequitedly loving your boss is such a cliche. Cody is above it

- has somehow unwillingly started looking out for Anakin though he knows it's a lost cause. Bails him out of jail sometimes when his brother (fox) tells him he's in the cells to save Obi Wan a job

- is pretty sure his boss is in some kind of cult and is just too nice to admit it. Knows nothing about the Jedi as he really doesn't need to. Assumes random people are jedi.

- his brothers are obsessed with the Jedi and very jealous that he shares a office with kenobi. Keep asking him to introduce them to random jedi/mention them in convo

- wants custody of his younger brothers but knows he has no chance. Keeps thinking if he works hard enough he can end the war and try and get them off their terrible guardians who are clearly only in it for the money. As it is, has to wait till his brothers are old enough to age out and come to him

Fox

- sings to himself (nobody will ever believe you)

- covertly 'steals' decommissioned clones. Nobody knows but they do think it's a bit strange how everyone on the guard is either injured or has some kind of personality flaw/Impulse control problem

- has a sweet tooth and has been known to steal the syrups from the senators tea room (a crime that is surely not worth the reward)

- likes to manufacture small inconveniences for people that wrong him or his brothers (a favourite game of Cody's)

- rarely goes to bed. When he does he just lays there plotting.

- Hates his boss. Hates him. Thinks everyone knows he's evil and nobody cares

- secretly obsessed with animals and children. Pretends he doesn't know how the stray tookas keep getting in the building (he's covertly feeding them)

-prematurely grey

- has a tally chart scratched in to the wall of his bunk for every senator that's wronged him or his brothers (its in code (there's a betting ring running the odds of what he's counting))

- convinced he's inheritly evil and that every one of his brothers is an incredible person to whom he's a great embarrassment

- doesn't let himself care about anyone but his brothers

- acts like he doesn't care about them and is always trying to get away from them but then fixes everything while they are sleeping

- has a collection of random shit he's found being thrown away in his office. Can't walk past anything free. Lots of sponsored things. Many mugs. Lots of bizarre shit, many hats.

- Always bringing suspicious smelling/ looking plants in to the guard halls. Most are plastic.

- has a line of chairs in the hall by his office for shiney's to sit on while they wait to Talk to him (no1 topic: why the hell aren't I dead. Did you have something to do with this?)

- saves Fives and fakes his death. soon realises the man is more trouble than he's worth it's a constant job for the guard keeping him from killing the chancellor. (even though Fox keeps telling him its not a conspiracy, everyone knows.(nobody knows)) Would do it again in a heart beat

- whenever anyone visits the guard he runs around trying to disguise any 'dead clones' that might be recognised (he's terrible at this. More than once he's handed someone a plant and told them to 'be a tree' he pretty much thinks that if their face is covered it's a done deal. He's tried to put a sticker over Fives tattoo more than once.) There's a guard commander running behind him actually disguising them.

Wolffe-

- very scary

- the softest of all

- can't say no to a shiny so tries to be intimidating so they won't ask

- whenever his batchers ask for something he says no and is mean about it and then does it covertly anyway

- will never admit it was him

- is one half of a pair. Him and his general are on a mission to adopt the whole gar

- someone keeps getting to the 'faulty' clones before they do

- him and Plo have a memorial on board for the vode they lost

- always knows what's going on with his batchers before they tell him. If they try and leave medbay early they get a message before they're out the door (is it automatically scheduled??? How does he know?)

[sardonic-the-writer]

Markiplier headcanon request: Chaos at the mall—What department stores are the blorbos going to look in to find gifts for their S/O? Who’d be searching through all the fancy candles for the perfect scent at the Yankee Candle shop? Interrogating the clerk at the chocolate shop for best possible quality items? Anyone now banned from the tech-store outlets? Who’d be causing mayhem at Build-A-Bear?

Anything goes! (Pls do not feel pressured to do this ask if you’re not vibing ’ w/ it.)

Oooh ideas ideas ideas. I love this prompt. But I changed it up a bit. Instead of just being limited to the mall, a lot of characters did their own thing

━MARKIPLIER ☆

Mark sent out a tweet on his alt account, asking people what he should get for you. Spent a couple minutes looking through the responses before closing his phone and deciding he would do it himself

Made you a build-a-bear! It looked like him, fake moustache and all, so that way when he was away from you you'd always have something to remind you of him <3

━DARKIPLIER ☆

Dark went to the finest jeweler he knew. Only the best for his darling after all

Got you a silver bracelet with the both of your initials engraved on the back, as well as a single rose he had picked from a garden himself

Presented them to you all charming like, reveling in the way your face lit up

━ANTISEPTICEYE ☆

Anti can't even get within five miles of the mall after your last visit. You really hope that man is recovering well from the incident-

So online shopping it was! The glitch searched for a bit before deciding on a pet scorpion. It's a strange gift, but its your strange gift <3

He let you name it Snappy

━WILFORD ☆

Wilford is ever the romantic. Just...in his own way.

He'll go out to almost every store and buy you multiple things. But the thing is, they're all pink

Pink balloons, pink chocolates, pink roses, s fuzzy pink blanket; you name it, and hes got it.

He even gets you a glittery pink microphone to use durring his annual karaoke nights that he drags you to

━YANCY ☆

This man. This sweet sweet man.

He would work so hard to get you something worthwhile. He can't go to the mall of course, so Yancy is limited to what he can muster up.

This inmate spent weeks chumming up to the guards and getting job after job so that was he could sneek into the wardens office. Once in there, Yancy grabbed a coil of old Christmas lights he'd had his eye on for a while

He had decided to decorate your cell in a more colorful way, knowing how much you hated the bland walls. And maybe he could even slow dance with you under the light show. If you allowed him to do so of course

━ENGINEER ☆

Built you a small contraption that dings a bell everytime he thinks of you. It's hooked up to a small button that he can press whenever he wants to, making the bell ring!

It's very sweet to come home while he's away to hear the small dinging of the bell. Although you might have to ask him to stop pressing it at three in the morning. You do need your sleep after all

━ACTOR ☆

For once in his life, the bastard decided maybe he should do something nice for you. Of course he'd denied ever doing such, but the thought is still there

He didn't even have to go to the mall. Just got you a 8×10 glossy of his heads hots with an autograph at the bottom.

But the i was dotted with a little heart, something that he didnt do for anyone else :>

━ILLINOIS ☆

He had been collecting small rocks for you every time he went on a different adventure. Each and everyone had reminded him of you in some way. Wether that be the texture, shape, or look. There were ones from all over the world! And stories that came along with them too

Illinois put them all in a small box that he would give to you that evening. The adventurer was looking forward to seeing your reaction to

[haritonseldonshusband]

Do dune for the meme 🔪

BLORBO (fave character/character i think about the most)

i mean, i think i have to say leto atreides here, right? i think i have to. he's so pretty. he haunts me. i want to be his loyal, beloved, trusted concubine. i want to lick shower water off of him. i want to stare at him all day, and also pet his hair so he can sleep at night. i want to wear dresses that make him stare at me during formal dinners. i want to do his paperwork for him so he can be a little less stressed. i'm in love? i'm in love.

SCRUNKLY (my "baby", character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

thufir hawat, no question. little parasol. constant :3 or 3: energy. i want to squeeze him like a stress ball. i would die for him, he would instantly try to resign if i did.

SCRIMBLO BIMBLO (underrated/underappreciated fave)

gurney halleck my beloved????? described as an ugly lump of a man in the book, which is something we literally all, everyone who ever touched dune, have decided independently to make the executive decision to ignore? hot af? bard vibes? face scar? aggression followed by affection bc the aggression is based in concern? i will wed him secretly and he will lay me down on blankets on the floor and say he wishes he could give me more and i will tell him this is all i need from him. also he will hold my hand, that part is non-negotiable.

GLUP SHITTO (obscure fave, character that can appear for 0.2 seconds in the background and i won't shut up about it for a week)

stilgar. old desert uncle. so old. so very old. soon to rejoin the sands. (for anyone who is not my husband reading this, this a long-running joke, don't look at me.) hot? hot. not just because of the desert thing, just. very attractive. 10/10, would let him spit in my mouth and thank him for it, probably.

POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

piter de vries. drug addict. stands like a homosexual, also is a homosexual. weighs maybe fifty pounds soaking wet in his little black dress aesthetic. garbage man. gay little trash boy. crumples him up like a wet paper napkin. wraps him up in a rag like a kitten trying to bite me because he is probably trying to bite me. shakes him a little.

HORSE PLINKO (character i would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

duncan idaho. shoves him in the plinko machine. watches him bing around lovingly. i adore him. i want to kiss his face. i want to make him cry. i want to see him angry and frightened. i want to braid his hair and lie against his chest and also climb him like a tree.

EEBY DEEBY (character i would send to superhell)

rabban harkonnen. i was going to say vladimir, but no, rabban deserves it more, and also if you put vladimir in a time out chair and took away his allowance, he'd be easier to deal with. maybe tether him to something so he doesn't daintily float away. anyway, send rabban straight to super hell. murder murder kill death etc.