#is it a very tiny thing? Sure but also its an indication of a much bigger thing and that's the shift in visible ace representation

[oathkeeper-of-tarth]

One really tiny but really flavourful detail in BG3 for me is one of the steps in the "Find the Nightsong" quest. The quest in itself is a big fave of mine, not just because of its buildup and dramatic twist and the fact that it deals with my personal favourite character, but also because of the way it winds through all three acts of this immense game. Here, though, I want to highlight a small and relatively early portion of it.

Initially, when you are sent after the mysterious and much sought-after relic called the Nightsong - classic adventurer stuff, really, there's even a wizard in a tower who'll pay you for it - all you have to go on are rumours that it is hidden in an old Selûnite temple in the region you happened to crash in. And sure enough, you explore the cool temple ruins, maybe you do a little puzzle-solving to open a sealed moon-themed door leading to a passage deep below - or you get into the Underdark via one of the other routes available. In any case, once there, you find the tragically doomed underground outpost some of the temple's residents tried to establish, as well as several records of their final hours. But there are no signs of the Nightsong or anything related to it ever being there at all. At that point you have no more info to go on, and your quest journal updates to say so:

Explore the Underdark. The trail goes cold in the Underdark. Where is the Nightsong?

Except... there is something here. And that something is a book - not an ancient record, but a recent publication: This tome appears fairly new-printed; it can't be more than a decade or two old, the item description says. But above all, it is very conspicuously and prominently placed at the foot of the large statue of Selûne that dominates the remnants of the outpost (and that, as part of its defenses, shoots rather deadly magical moonlight beams until you disable it).

The book is called "In Search of the Nightsong". It is marked as a quest item and it is there purely to provide you with a lead and to bridge the gap until the next bit of insight into the Nightsong you will get (which is at this point probably quite a ways away in Act 2, other than the possible tidbit around Nere and the collapsed bridge as you approach one possible end of Act 1). You are absolutely meant to find it and read it.

Fascinating that such a seemingly valuable object has proven so difficult to track down. Indeed, treasure-hunters the realm over have travelled to the Sword Coast with one goal in mind: To find the Nightsong. Yet each by each they have failed, indicating dead ends, rebuffs, or else disappearing altogether. My latest enquiry was with a half-orc named Graly, who insisted he'd come as close as possible to the relic as one may go without forfeiting his or her life. He indicated that the object is not, as most reports indicate, in the Selûnite fort adjacent to the river Chionthar. It is, in fact, held in an old Sharran fortress somewhere in the environs of Moonrise Towers. However, Graly reported that some kind of potent shadow prevents one from approaching where this fortress might be.

In fact, your next quest journal update comes from going into your inventory and reading the book:

Find the Sharran Temple. We found a book that told of a secret Sharran temple that contains the Nightsong. It is hidden underground, somewhere near Moonrise Towers.

How did this recently-published book end up sitting there, just waiting for you to read it, in the sealed, long-abandoned outpost, beset on all sides by unfriendly crowds of goblins, drow, minotaurs, a spectator, you name it? And why is this cool to me? Well, it's a bit meta, but it turns out that Selûne, She Who Guides, goddess of, among other things, questers, seekers, navigators, and the lost finding their path, has more than earned her title. And indeed, here we see that both in gameplay and in lore, Selûne guides.

In this particular case, though you don't know that yet, she's guiding you, both the character and the player, to hopefully save her long-lost daughter.

[thezombieprostitute]

Alpine

A/N: written for @targaryenvampireslayer's Blind Date writing challenge. The prompts are - Dialogue: “Are you holding back? Don’t.” - Trope: Soulmate. Reader has no descriptors or gender indicators.

Word Count: ~2.7k

Warnings: Implied animal abuse/neglect and kidnapping of a pet.

Not everyone gets a soulmate. It’s generally accepted that your odds of having a soulmate and meeting them aren’t great. For it to happen, an animal has to welcome themselves into your life. Take care of that animal and they will lead you, at some point, to your soulmate. Neglect that animal and it will leave you and you’ll never meet your soulmate. 

Well, that’s how it was supposed to happen. Naturally people tried to find ways to force an animal into their lives. Or force them to stay in their lives despite neglectful or abusive care. Other times humans would try to get rid of any distractions their animal had, hoping to force them to focus on finding them their soulmate. 

Which explains the box that Bucky found in the dumpster. If it weren’t for his super-soldier hearing he likely wouldn’t have heard the tiny, weak mewls. He had no interest in a soulmate but he wasn’t about to live down to his reputation as a monster by not helping. He found a tiny, white kitten. His heart broke for the poor thing, eyes not even open and already experiencing the worst. He held the dirty, white, mewling bean to his chest, under his jacket, trying to get it warm, as he searched for an emergency vet.

The kitten stopped shaking while he was on the way to the vet but the mewling continued. He was guessing it was hungry, especially with how its paws were so gently kneading his skin. He sped into the vet’s office, praying they’d have something. 

The veterinarian took excellent care of the little bean. She talked to Bucky while she was cleaning, examining and then feeding the kitten. “She’s very lucky you found her, Mr. Barnes. She definitely wouldn’t have lasted much longer.” When the kitten had fallen asleep the veterinarian asked, “are you planning on keeping her? We have some possible homes for her but what few shelters have space may not have the fosters needed to keep her fed and cared for.”

Bucky’s heart nearly broke at the thought of this tiny, helpless kitten getting lost in a system that didn’t care about her. “I’ll take her,” he whispered.

“And what would you like to name her?”

“Alpine. Her name is Alpine.”

The veterinarian smiled and nodded before talking him through all of the care and food guidelines and answering his questions.

Bucky managed to get the time off he needed. His therapist enthusiastically signed off on his taking care of Alpine. She said it can be very good therapy to be a caretaker. She also made mention of soulmate potential but Bucky brushed that off. He just wanted this kitten to survive and thrive, not bring new people into his life. 

Besides, how could he love anyone else when this kitten had stolen his heart? Everything she did, from wiggling her ears whenever she ate, to every developmental goal she reached, endeared him more and more. The first time she opened her eyes Bucky was overjoyed and made sure to smile so it would be the first image of him she saw. He wasn’t sure that’s how it worked, but he didn’t want to take the risk.

By the time Alpine was 6 weeks old and crawling around on her own Bucky was happily admitting to being a full-fledged cat dad. He bought her all of the toys and cat trees she could ever need. The first time she was able to sneak attack him (he heard her preparing to pounce and kept still for her) he gave her a bunch of treats, calling her a “powerful lioness”. 

Mindful of the fact that he would eventually have to go back to work he made sure to help Alpine be okay with him being out. If she developed separation anxiety he’d never be able to leave her. He started out simple, leaving her in the apartment while he quickly went to the corner store. Her little mewls at the closed door broke his heart so he’d always pick her up a special treat to give her on his return. He even paid a little extra on his rent so he could install a small catio for her in one of the apartment windows. Stark gave him a small holograph to make it look like an A/C unit so no one would try to steal Alpine.

After his first away mission he decided to celebrate with Alpine, bringing her the super expensive cat food she adored and getting himself some pricey Chinese takeout from C. W.'s. He was surprised at how she ignored her food and begged for his. He’d ordered out plenty of times and she never showed an interest but she definitely wanted the chicken from his lo-mien. He gave her a few pieces and hoped he wasn’t setting a precedent.

It’d been over a year since he rescued Alpine and they had settled into a nice, well, maybe not “routine” but they definitely had their version of “normal”. It was nice and comfortable for Bucky and he loved every minute of it. What few people he let into his life commented on how much better he seemed to be. Less stressed, less mopey, quicker to smile; he even laughed at one of Sam’s jokes before trying to cover it with a cough. 

Someone brought up the idea of a cat harness so he could take Alpine out for walks, maybe meet his soulmate, but Bucky shut that idea down right away. His life was good. It was comfortable. Why ruin that by potentially bringing in someone new? Besides, Alpine was perfectly content to be an indoor cat. 

Or so he thought. He was being forced to take some time off, something about “preventing burnout” and he figured he could just take the opportunity to play with Alpine. She was getting really good at responding to some commands and he was hoping to get her some real enrichment by teaching her some cat acrobatics he’d seen online. 

But as soon as he walked in the door, Alpine tried to run out through his legs. If it weren’t for his superhuman reflexes she’d have gotten away. 

“What are you doing, sweetheart?” He held Alpine by the nape of her neck as he closed the door. “You never go outside. At least you’ve never shown an interest before.”

He set her down and she immediately ran to her catio and started scratching at the windows. Bucky walked over to the window and looked out but couldn’t see anything that would get her interest. No birds, no pets in windows across the way, nothing.

“Alpine, are you okay? You’re going crazy over nothing.” Alpine eventually stopped and Bucky swears he heard her let out a small sigh. He tried to get her to play but she seemed disinterested in everything, even treats. “Well, this is a rough start to a vacation. Maybe you’ll feel better tomorrow, pretty girl.”

The next day did start out more like normal. Alpine was getting better at sneak attacks, especially around feeding time. Bucky was woken up by Alpine batting his face and running away several times as he grumbled, “I made a mistake when I started feeding you breakfast at 6 AM.”

After getting Alpine her food he saw to his own breakfast. He figured he’d start his vacation with a big breakfast, complete with some pancakes. Alpine climbed up to sit on his shoulder as he cooked, occasionally sitting on top of his head to watch him work. It was her favorite spot whenever he was home. Even when he wasn’t walking around, she enjoyed cuddling up close.

Around the time he finished breakfast he felt Alpine perk up and look around before running to her catio. She started scratching at the enclosure again, as if she were trying to break out. Bucky got up to look out the window and, again, saw nothing that might spark her interest. He shrugged his shoulders and started cleaning up his breakfast dishes when it hit him. 

“Alpine,” he asked, “is there someone out there that you’re trying to get to?” She stopped her clawing and looked at him with an earnestness usually reserved for hunting practice. “You…you want to go out to see someone?” She ran to the apartment door and started scratching at it while looking back at him with that same earnestness.

“No,” Bucky whispered. Alpine started meowing as she scratched at the door. “No,” Bucky repeated, more forcefully. “We’re not doing that. You’re not…you’re staying here where it’s safe. We’ve got a good thing, dammit.” Alpine didn’t relent. “Are you holding back? Don’t. Wear yourself out because you will not out-stubborn me on this!” Alpine responded with an indignant meow but Bucky went back to cleaning. 

The rest of the day proceeded without incident until the evening, around the time he’d come home last night, when Alpine again ran to the catio. Bucky refrained from looking out the window. Whoever it was that was getting Alpine all huffy was someone he wanted nothing to do with. No, his cat was not going to lead him to some promised soulmate. No, he was never going to meet a soulmate. He didn’t, couldn’t have one. He was keeping Alpine locked up for her own safety. Someone not as understanding of the lack of soulmates would definitely kidnap Alpine if she went out. He couldn’t let her be taken away. 

She ran to the door and kept meowing at him and giving him angry looks he’d never seen before. He genuinely felt bad but he had to look out for her. There were too many dangers and she barely survived the last time she was outside. True she was technically blind at the time, but it was still far too dangerous for his fluffy kitten. After a bit she finally gave up and seemed so despondent it broke his heart. 

“Tell you what,” he pleaded. “I’ll go get you some of that special cat food you love. Maybe even stop by C. W.’s and get that chicken lo-mien you won’t stop begging me for. Will that make it up to you?” Alpine huffed and sat in her tree, purposefully not looking at him. He quickly went out, making sure she didn’t follow him and brought back the promised food. She was feeling better enough to eat all the chicken from his meal and he hoped that meant she forgave him.

Sadly, the rest of his time off was spent in similar fashion. She was fine for all but two times during the day. It broke his heart every time but he didn’t relent. He was scared of her getting outside for so many reasons. He couldn’t risk letting her out. 

He was almost relieved when he was able to get back to work. He made sure to leave her extra food and it was only a one-day mission so he’d be back soon. Though he’d check the time to make sure he arrived after her evening begging to be let out. Maybe, just maybe, he’d look into a cat harness. Let her outside in small doses so she could see the dangers of going out. 

At least that was the plan. He got a phone call soon after arriving at the tower, the number indicating it was his building’s super.

“Barnes,” he greeted.

“Mr. Barnes, this is Mack, your building’s super.”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“So, the apartment above yours was having some flooding problems and I needed to check if your apartment was getting any of the water. As soon as I opened the door your cat ran out. I tried to catch her, but she was way too fast for me.”

Bucky pulled the phone away and started cussing up a storm before telling Mack, “do what you need, I’m gonna come back and try to find her.” He hung up and told his team what happened. They asked if he wanted help finding her but he was worried they’d end up scaring her. He promised to ask for help if he couldn’t find her.

He started tracking just outside his apartment. He amped up his super-soldier senses as much as he could, trying to find any trace of her. A few hairs here and there led him to the elevator. Is Alpine that smart, he thought to himself. He took the elevator to the first floor and scoured for traces of her. 

He was so lost in focus he almost missed his phone ringing. It was an unknown number so he was tempted to let it go to voicemail but caught himself. It could be someone found Alpine. 

He answered the phone, “hello?”

“Um…hi,” you faltered. “Um, I’m so sorry to bother you but I found a cat with this number on their collar.”

“Alpine!”

“Yeah, that’s the name on the collar,” you affirm. “I hope you don’t mind, but she was begging for some of my chicken lo-mien and I did give her a few pieces because I didn’t know when she’d last eaten.”

“Are you at C.W.’s?”

“Yeah,” you hesitate. “How, um, how did you know?”

“The only time she ever begs for my food is when I order the chicken lo-mien from C.W.’s,” he assures. You cheerfully laugh at the information and for a second Bucky gets lost in how lovely your laugh sounds.

“Well, are you able to come and get her? I’ll make sure she stays here.”

“Thank you, so much! I’ll be right there!”

He nearly ran all the way to C.W.’s and was relieved to see Alpine with a patron at an outside table. He saw Alpine cuddled up against you, as you cooed and babied her, giving her some more of your chicken. She looked so comfortable with you and even nuzzled her head against yours.

“Alpine,” he exclaims as he gets nearer. You and Alpine both look his way and he almost freezes at your similar, wide-eyed expressions. “Alpine,” he repeats as he gets to your table. You hand Alpine over and he immediately grips her in a gentle but firm hug. He looks down at her, “don’t you ever do that again! You scared me! What were you thinking?” Alpine gives him those eyes she knows he can’t resist and gently licks his face. 

You coo at the image of this handsome, 6 foot plus tall, bulky, long-haired man holding a small cat. You’re tempted to take a picture but figure that would be rude. Instead you comment, “you two are so cute together!”

“Thank…thank you,” Bucky blushes. “Is there anything I can do to thank you?” 

“Nah,” you reply. “She was very good company.” There’s a beat of silence between you, like he wants to say something, but can’t. “I’ll just be on my way. It was very nice to meet you, Alpine.”

You get up to leave but Alpine immediately starts meowing at you. You and Bucky look at each other. You’re each aware of the soulmate implication in Alpine’s actions. He looks scared to say something but also scared to do nothing. You smile kindly at him, “um, look, um. I know this shows we’re…and if you’re not interested I’ll understand…but, you have my number, I have yours. If, and only if, you’re interested or want to even just start talking, you know how to reach me.” He nods and you turn to leave.

“Please,” he mumbled. “Please have lunch with me?”

“I have to get to work,” you smile. “But I’d love to meet you for a meal sometime. Alpine optional, but very much a bonus.” He smiles shyly back at you and nods. 

As you walk away he looks at Alpine, “okay, you were right.” Alpine meowed and nuzzled his cheek before he put her in his jacket and took her home. He texted you soon after to set up your first date.

[lanymme]

Hey. Kiara sure likes ohagi, doesn’t she?

It’s a cute quirk, but it’s also deeply, deeply tragic in a very subtle way that's hard to piece together unless you know about japanese sweets or Kiara’s personal history.

So let’s learn a little bit about ohagi, and why Kiara loves it so much!

Ohagi, and the very similar sweet botamochi, are traditional japanese sweets made from glutinous rice with a coating of sweet red bean paste and, optionally, a dusting of something else, often ground black sesame or soybean flower.

Here’s some that I made for Kiara’s birthday last year! They’re very doable and pretty tasty.

Higan is a Japanese buddhist festival celebrated around the spring and autumn equinoxes, and ohagi or botamochi is eaten as a ritual food during that equinox. Sources I found indicated that the difference between ohagi vs botamochi is not easy to pin down, but some say that the sweet is called ohagi when eaten for the autumn equinox. (This is beside the point, but the red spider lily, with which Kiara is strongly associated, also blooms around that time.) If you want to know more, check out this article I found on the history of ohagi and its ritual connection.

Kiara was born as the heir and savior to a mountaintop Buddhist cult. Her upbringing was deeply abusive, and despite the fatal illness she suffered from, for which her community and her father gave her no treatment, she was denied any semblance of a normal childhood while she was molded to be their perfect savior.

Nothing that inspires attachment was allowed to her. The book of fairy tales she ended up with was deemed inappropriate and taken from her because she spent too much time reading it, liked it too much.

It’s hard to imagine her being allowed sweets like a normal kid, since they’re designed for stimulating flavor.

But, of course, ohagi isn’t just a sweet. It’s a ritual food. So they couldn’t deny her that, could they?.

As a child, those 7 days surrounding the equinox twice a year were probably the only time she ever got to have sweets.

And of course, she probably learned to be very careful about not letting on that she was enjoying herself. Not overindulging.

Like fairy tales, it was a tiny piece of happiness that accidentally slipped through the cracks and gave her something to latch onto. And, like fairy tales, she carries it with her into adulthood.

It’s not coincidence that she makes ohagi and tea instead of chocolates for Valentine’s. In this new place where she can heal a little bit from her past and grow, she takes the chance to make ohagi herself, instead of waiting for the proper holiday; and to share them with someone else as a thing she loves, instead of hiding them away.

[starillusion13]

A Night for Apology

Pairing: bf! Hongjoong x f! reader x bf! Yunho

Genre: Angst, Smut, Non Idol au, Mature

Warnings: very suggestive things, mature themes, mention of ( brat, bitch), boyfriends being angry with you, controlling and possessiveness (don’t know what more to add, if these all are giving you hints what more can be there so be aware of it please)

W.C: 3.6k

Note: My horny ass for pissed off Yunho and Hongjoong made me write this after watching a reel on the insta so bear with my work.

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere

@yeoobin @anyamaris (I know you both are down for mad Yunho and Joong)

MINORS DONT INTERACT UNDER THE CUE!🔞

🩶

*under the cut*

“Where are you now?”, your friend is asking you for the third time this evening. She is calling you for past two hours but you were not picking up as you were not sure whether you can go to your destined place for today. The plan to spend the whole day at your friend’s place for a girls’ sleepover was planned last week when you all four suddenly met at the mall. It was all fine until today when you received a call from your boyfriends telling you they can be possibly home before the date of return. You were tensed after the call but somehow made up your mind to take a final decision and picked up your friend’s call when it was the fourth time for the missed call.

“I will be there in thirty minutes.” You are staring at the mirror while on the call to check your look for the nth time before heading out. With one hand, you hastily packed up all the necessary belongings for the sleepover in your vanity bag and the other hand is still busy pressing the phone to your ears to hear your friend ramblings.

“Are you sure you will be coming today? Our meeting was supposed to be started two hours back but neither we saw any sign of your coming nor you were picking up the call. Are you okay?” The phone got snatched away from your friend. A rather louder voice spoke up now.

“If you have any problem then we can arrange this for another time.” Another time? Oh, not possible. This is the only chance you have until your boyfriends return from the business trip. If your boyfriends get to know about your today’s plan then it would not go well for you.

“Oh! its okay, both of you relax, I will be there soon. Don’t worry too much.” Switching off the lights and locking the door of your grand house, you walked towards the main street. You can’t take your car because they have taken your keys away as you are being disobedient to them for last two months. They have banned you for going out when they found out your sneak outs with your friends with whom they have warned not to meet. It’s not like they don’t want you to meet with others but they don’t trust two of your friends as they think those two don’t have good intentions to you. But you being persistent and still going to meet your best friend where those two friends will also be there.

 It’s okay as far as they are not aware of this.

Getting inside the cab, an uneasy feeling settles down at the pit of your stomach as to what can possibly happen if they ever get to know about today. The ring of a phone call takes you out of your thoughts, without looking at the id you picked up hoping to hear your friend’s voice.

“Y/N where are you?” your eyes go wide on hearing the deep masculine voice for which you double check the id and it shows ‘Yuyu’. Pity you, being always in a hurry leads you to this situation. Not coming with a fast excuse rather you cut the call when the driver made the horn sound indicating your arrival to your friend’s place. You still looking at the screen which went black for getting turn off after thirty seconds of screentime. Dim street lights are still enough to reflect your shocked eyes into the tiny phone screen. Debating in your mind for the 5th time, you made up to go back to your house. Telling the driver to drive you back, you quickly sent a text to your friend telling her about your sudden headache to which she insisted you to take rest and not to think about turning them down like this.

The whole ride back to home was a mental battle for you and your thoughts as to what to tell him after calling him back. Well, you are a bit confused as why neither one of them yet called you back when you without replying a word cut the call back then. You are looking at the phone screen in anticipation to get a call but silence; neither a call nor a single text. Maybe they are busy in any business deals or so, they would might call you back later so you need to prepare some believable excuses before the interaction. You were so lost in thoughts that you didn’t notice the cab pulled in by the main street stop. It was prepaid so you quickly got down and head towards the house. The silence of the night is contrasting the loud thoughts inside your head, the shiny backless short dress making you the brightest star on the street.

Unlocking the door, your senses hit with a familiar smell of a perfume. Why is this smell so strong now? Switching on the lights, you keep your bag on the top of door side cupboard, back still facing the main area of the living room.

“So, you really went there again?” there is someone in my house and this smell all around, so that means he is here.

Turning around you face the reality of the current situation, Hongjoong sitting on the centre sofa with legs spreading wide with elbows placed on the knees and hands joined above with chin on top of it, eyes staring daringly to you.

“Ho-hongjoong?........” you are still shocked to see him at this hour here. They were supposed to return next week but the early return was not expected to be so early.

“What? Why are you like a cat being caught?” giving you his wicked grin.

“You are back so early? I-I didn’t expect you to be here.” He is still wearing his outside clothes; the black leather jacket with funky black jeans and a black tee inside. You looked around to find any trace of other presence when you noticed a bigger size black jacket placed on the handle of the other sofa and now you are sure Yunho might be taking shower in upstairs.

“Are you not happy or are you disappointed as we are interrupting your brat routines of sneaking out to places you are being banned to?” he is not joking, he is dead serious with you even though he is grinning. His eyes are travelling all over your body, under his gaze you are really feeling exposed also your dress is not helping but adding the anger in him. His expression is dark full with anger but lust in his eyes. The cold air of air conditioner is hitting your skin making you realize you need to change the attire and also not to become the prey to the person before you. You hesitantly placed few hairs behind your ears and breaking the eye contact with the eyes which are now focused to your movements, you turned towards the stairs.

 “Where are you going now?” the question made you stop in your tracks in a fast reflex. You have already messed up the situation and also don’t have well prepared explanation and now without giving him a proper reply, you are going to your room. Is it really a good way to escape?

“I will just go to my room. I’m fe-feeling sick right now.” Your stuttering never helped you to act strong in front of them.

“Really? Come here.” Joong signalled you to sit beside him on the sofa.

 “No no its okay. Its just a minor headache, I can take care of myself.”

“Headache? The one suddenly occurred after the call from Yunho?” dang! How does he know about your excuse to your friends?

“I really d-don’t know what you are talking about.” You just want to run away from this house and hide in a place somewhere where they can’t find you until everything about today is forgotten.

“Oh my poor baby. I think your memory is becoming short then . You might be thinking so much about something.” The words are so soft but you know this is him mocking you with a dangerous look on his face which is only caused when he is mad at you. After warning you so many times, you still went to meet those friends even without asking them for once.

“Come here.” He blankly stated while staring at you the way he would jump on you anytime if you try to move in any other direction.

“Look, you are not going to control me or tell me what to do.” Wow. The strong woman is appearing in you. You are really pissing this man to the edge. Edge? The man stood up abruptly and with quick steps came in front of you facing close to you. He glared at you in a way, you can melt down in that place right at that moment. He holds your hand and the grip is way tighter and then pulled you towards the sofa and made you sit with him. The sudden bending made your tight dress to ride up the thigh a bit exposing lot more skin. He glanced there but quickly looked up to glare at you.

You tried to glare at him as well but miserably failing when a hand comes near your forehead to wipe away the hairs and then he pressed four fingers to your forehead. He might be a menace but a softie if you are sick or when you need something. He smirked at you when he caught you staring at him.

“Don’t have a fever so I suppose you don’t have that little headache as well.” Hearing his statement, you scoot backwards to run away from there. You are now leaning to the cushioned handle of the sofa, Joong keeping his one arm over the headrest of the sofa and lifted one leg on the sofa slightly bending the knee joint to sit comfortably facing you.

“I’m sorry……” you whispered.

“What? Speak loudly. I can’t hear you.” Joong is no more smiling but having a pissed off look which is referring to your deeds have surpassed his limits of temper.

“I’m sorry Joong.” You look down feeling guilty and keep on fiddling with your two thumbs. He loves you a lot but why you are still not listening to their warnings. They have always treated you like their princess but still their possessiveness sometimes is way too much. But no matter what you love them the most, they mean your world and the only family.

“I don’t think you are really sorry.” That’s it. You are going to say the world good bye this night. This voice alone can make you fall on your knees and ask for forgiveness. The new guest in between the moments of you and Joong is the real menace. While the other one can be a softie for few moments but this one is a total egotistic. You craned your neck to the direction of the voice.

Standing at the last step of the stairs with wet hairs and a white t-shirt with a casual trouser. The fresh lavender smell filled the atmosphere of the room. The tall frame throwing daggers at your small frame from the distance. He is totally looking like a fresh meal but to your disappointment you are not getting it unless you are sincerely apologizing to them.

“Yuyu, I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t call me that when you are just going to be a disobedient girl later.” You tried to pout at him but his glare made you shut up.

Distracted with Yunho, you didn’t notice how Joong’s eyes travelling longingly over your every exposed skin, literally eye fucking you. You felt tug in your hands and suddenly Joong pulled you on his lap.

You yelped on this sudden act and you can feel a different sensation in your stomach.

“What should we do with you?” Joong whispered.

“Joong…..” you moan out his name when his hands trail upon your thighs and on your back which is exposed because of the backless dress. His warm hands giving the perfect feels in the cold room.

“Don’t give her the satisfaction for anything Hongjoong.” You can hear Yunho speaking behind you. His presence is near to you yet far away to feel his touch.

“I’m not going to give her anything when she is just being a bitch like this.” Joong spoke glaring at you. You are so immersed to feel his touch, your eyes shot open on hearing his words.

“No….why?”

“Why?” Titling his head, Joong asked you. You felt a third presence on the sofa just right behind you.

“You are really disappointing Y/N.” Hearing your name from his lips for the first time this night making you feel excited and anticipated of what can happen next. The large hands coming up to your scalp brushing the hairs and then messaging it when you felt a harsh pull to make you face the owner of the voice.

“She is really enjoying this.” Joong spoke up while playing with your fingers.

Yunho leaned his back on the cushion handrest and spread his long legs in front of him reaching to both side of your frame on Joong’s lap. He signalled Joong to make you sit between his long legs with your back resting to his chest, your legs are now spread similarly like him but so tiny compared to him. Joong made himself comfortable and sat facing you both.

“So, as you know this was your last warning.” Yunho’s deep voice near your ear and his vibrating chest in contact with your back is igniting the sensation in you but you know you are helpless in this situation when he is just so mad at you.

“I said am sorry but you both should know that you can’t always control me in every situation.”

“This is too much. You have disobeyed us and now arguing with me.”

Joong chuckled and now your attention is to the opposite male. He moved a bit forward to slightly hover your tiny frame. The hand in your hair is no longer there but tracing over your sides slowly, very slowly.  You tried to move a bit forward but you were held back by Yunho. He is gripping your forearms tightly to make you still. Your thighs rubbed together to feel any sensation to reduce the heat and wetness pooling between your legs. Hongjoong noticed your actions when he placed his knee between your thighs to separate them. You close your eyes in frustration for loosing friction.

Yunho’s big hand slaps your bare thigh to make your eyes water on the burning sensation on the skin. You look back towards him and see him devilishly smirking at you on your helpless state. Again, you move your attention towards Hongjoong. Yunho’s hands travel a bit upwards to lower your thin straps of your dress down exposing your shoulders and the upper chest. Joong eying the actions of his friend. They might be once close friends but their common interest on you and you accepting them made them become closer. Suddenly his eyes met yours.

“If you are thinking, you will be repeating this again and getting treated like this so good then you are wrong baby. We are just preparing you for the punishments later you will be receiving. I might let you slide sometimes but yunho would never.”

“I will never. Why don’t you listen to us?” his fingers intertwined with your one hand and your other hand is playing with Joong’s fingers.

“I really wanted to meet them. They are my friends after all.” You said looking at where Joong’s knees separating your thighs.

“They are not your friends. They always try to distract your mind by telling you that we are not nice people and you should stay away from us. Despite you keep on insisting to meet them. At this point I think you are starting to believe them.”

Yunho’s grip become tighter on hearing Joong. He can’t deal with any of such nuisance when anything is bothering you or his relationship between your or with his friend.

“No!....I don’t  believe them…..”

“When we have already warned you from meeting them, you started to sneak out and lying us that you are going somewhere else.” Hearing the voice laced with anger from behind you made you realize that how disappointed they are with you.

“Look at me.” You glanced up to see Joong’s face is so near to you. He added, “your friends keep telling you that you should find another man for yourself who will be better than us and you without ignoring them, still being friends and even meeting with them often.” His thumb brushing your lips and then gripping the jaw tightly. You tried to move your hands up to hold his hand but got held back when Yunho locked your hands to both of your sides.

“You are not in charge in what to do. We will be controlling this tonight. We will be punishing you in such a way that when your friends meet you next time can know that you are claimed by us for the lifetime and no other man should ever think of coming near to you nor getting a chance with you.”

Joong smirked on his friend’s words. His glanced at yunho and then slowly comes near to your face that you can feel his mint breath and he kissed you. He is not kissing you but totally devouring on you and your lips is his last meal. He moved his knee a bit forward and pressed it to your heat. He paused for a moment before taking off his jacket followed by his black tee. He is only in his jeans now and again he smashed his lips on you. Your fingers are aching to touch those abs in front of you but this is not happening today.

Joong pulled you towards him in between the kisses when he bit your lips to enter your mouth. Meanwhile, yunho takes off his t-shirt and Joong again pushed you back to his friend’s chest. Your bare back coming in contact with the bare chest of Yunho making your back arch a bit and toes curling in the sensation of his abs. You can feel something poking in the lower back. You are closing your eyes to take in this intimate position. You tried to move your body to Joong’s knees but you were restrained.

“Stay in place. You are not getting anything.” Yunho commanded.

Breaking the kiss while gasping for air, you whispered “please……”

“What?” Joong wiping the saliva from the corner of his mouth asked you.

“I need you both……”

“No!” Yunho again slapped your thighs and your watery eyes needily look towards Joong.

“I can’t do anything now if you are asking for help as I’m equally pissed off with you.”

Suddenly you felt wet kisses over your shoulder and hands busy removing the hairs from your neck and shoulders and keeping them in a high knot over your head. Yunho is griping your hairs tightly in his big hands. Biting and kissing all over your exposed neck and shoulders with Joong’s knee to your heat is taking to your edge of neediness. You closed your eyes and moaned out loud when Yunho bit just below the ear as he knows your sweet spot where you are most sensitive. 

“Yunho…..”

“Oh! My baby is enjoying this then we should stop here.” Joong spoke in between pushing the dress upward from your thighs exposing more of your wet heat. He bent one of your legs and kissing them from the knees trailing to the inner thigh, still pressing the knee to your heat.

Your eyes shot open, “No please….this is too much…I can’t take this anymore….”

“I’m tired so……I want to go to my room”, You added thinking to get off this frustration off on your own inside your room.

Yunho huffed and harshly made you turn towards him. “You don’t speak here today when the fault is yours. Suffer like this or I have some other ways to make you follow my orders.”

“Well, I know something to make it more fun.” Joong suggested while standing up from the previous position. You lose every contact with him which makes your heat ache more for any friction to the spot. Standing beside the sofa, he takes in your form with Yunho. He smirked to the view in front of him before signalled you both to stand up.

“what’s more fun to you?” yunho questioned his friend.

“Isn’t she tired then we can all take a shower all together.”

“No I- “

“Oh! That.” Yunho made himself and you to stand up from the sofa. Your dress falling down exposing your whole figure only in your underwear in front of the two males. Yunho eyed your whole frame a bit longer before smirking at you and then looked towards Joong who was already halfway through the stairs.

“Let’s resume this game from where we paused in there. Right tiny?”

“That’s going to be a long night to accept your apology baby.”Joong loudly alert you from the stairs.

(Let's be friends if you are in need of any friend. Also, I like to hear from my beautiful readers if they liked about any sudden parts in the fic so please do tell me.)

[grifonecoronato]

The Olega Padawan

I love this guy and I wanna talk about him.

In The Acolyte, in Episode 2 "Revenge/Justice", we briefly meet this Jedi Padawan (played by Ed Kear).

He’s a big guy, and he seems eager to prove himself useful; he manhandles a kid, and explains how there was a break-in at the local Jedi Temple where he’s stationed.

He has one or two lines of dialogue, and the story quickly moves on from him. He mainly exists for two (2) reasons in the story:

To give a lived-in feel to the setting: that during the High Republic, Jedi are plentiful and ubiquitous, in direct contrast to every other Star Wars time period we’ve seen in film and TV (and yes, I’m including the Prequels era, which explicitly stated that while there were lots of Jedi, they were stretched very thin, which carries a different tone than the era of The Acolyte)

To contrast against Osha, who flunked out of the Jedi Order (more on that below).

I mean he doesn’t even have a name; he's just credited as the "Olega Padawan", his role is so small!

And the fandom menace H A T E S him. They lament that the Jedi are supposed to be physically and mentally disciplined, and being fat is antithetical to that.

I call horseshit. The Olega Padawan makes complete sense, and his inclusion is a perfect addition to Star Wars.

Visual Storytelling of The Acolyte

For now, let's leave aside the undisputed fact that there are many, many biological factors that contribute to a person's weight beyond how much food they eat. And let's be clear that a person's fitness or fatness is not an indication of their moral character or their value to the world.

So let's just say, for the sake of argument, that the Olega Padawan really is just out-of-shape.

In an era where the Jedi are plentiful, have the confidence of the people, recruit new members easily, and have known peace for generations, is it really so inconceivable that a Jedi who’s not at peak physical condition could exist?

In The Acolyte, we see that Jedi take on a peacekeeping / police roles, sure…

...but we also see them doing scientific research…

…and other non-combat, non-adventurous duties.

The temple on Olega is so tiny, so peaceful, so sleepy that its master -- Master Torbin -- took a vow of solitude, penitence, and disengagement, and the Temple was able to continue on, business as usual.

These are the conditions that the Olega Padawan finds himself in. And we're surprised that he would have other things motivating him besides commitment to physical perfection?

Headcanon: the Daily Life of the Olega Padawan

As of September 2024, nothing has been written about the Olega Padawan's story, but I can see his whole life through the context clues that were presented on screen.

The Olega Padawan was probably not a great physical student at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. Unlike Jecki, his lightsaber forms are sloppy and half-hearted, but he was good enough to eek by a passing grade for his trials.

He then was sent to learn under the tutelage of the Olega Knight, where his master taught him to manage the affairs of the local temple.

He probably spent his days worrying about building repairs, negotiating with mechanics when the droids malfunctioned, arguing with incense and candle wholesalers to keep the temple well-stocked, and taking point on charity or community outreach programs. Occasionally, his master would show him how to make requisitions for additional funds from the Coruscant Temple, or how to phrase their weekly reports in such a way that they go largely ignored.

If his master asked him to do anything physical, like move something into storage, the Olega Padawan would have a choice to make: physically lift it, or just move it with the Force... and I'm pretty sure he'd just opt to do it with the Force once his master left the room.

Occasionally the neighbourhood kids would hassle him, because there's nothing funnier than watching a Jedi lose his temper, so the Olega Padawan probably developed a sharp tongue. He'd likely have zero tolerance for bullies.

If he ever finished his work early, he'd find a way to entertain himself rather than go seek more work. After all, what's really so important that it can't wait when you live in a quiet temple in a sleepy town? Adventure. Excitement. A Jedi craves not these things!

What This Means for Osha

There's one more role in the story that the Olega Padawan plays, and that's as a contrast to Osha.

Osha flunked out of the Jedi Order. Get it?

She flunked out.

She flunked out.

And we saw risk her life to selflessly save the life of a prisoner aboard a ship that was about to crash!

She flunked out of the Jedi Order!

The Olega Padawan, who lives a sleepy life in a quiet temple, did not.

So at this stage in the story, the presence of the Olega Padawan conjures questions like "if he could make it as a Jedi... what the hell did Osha do to fail?"

How much "worse" of a student must she have been?

By the end of the series this is made clear, but by episode 2, the Olega Padawan's mere presence invites us to ask these questions.

[weirdplutoprince]

What is Brazil like? What are your favorite things about it, least favorite things, and some day to day experiences that people not from there might not know about? Do you have any tidbits of culture you find interesting or are fond of?

Oh that's a big question! First of all it's huge lol. Unsure how accurate this specific map is, but if you google 'Brazil size' you find a dozen of these 'which countries fit in each states of Brazil' maps, so.

This is particularly relevant to everything I answer further ahead, because since it is so big and so culturally complex anything I say is just going to be a tiny speck compared to different regions.

And besides its size, Brazil had a lot going on colonization and immigration wise - meaning you have regions that have very notable communities from certain countries of the world. A famous example is that, if I recall correctly, we have the biggest japanese settlement of sorts outside of Japan. So that's something!

A funny side effect I can think that relates to this is that in historical novelas (live action television series that air daily and are known for melodrama and intensity) there is always a character that can be roughly described as 'The Sexy Irrevent Italian Immigrant' which is funny lol.

As for my favourite things I think the culinary is definetely a big one!!! There are so many dishes and they are so delicious all the time forever.

Brigadeiros are my favourites from all times, they're this candy made of condensed milk and chocolate powder, thats finished off with sprinkles. It's so yummy, you can also make it into cake filling and a million different things.

I also love Acarajé!! I think properly explaining what they're made off is a bit beyond my english vocabulary but just know its a fried dough that has yummy fillings and shrimp.

Otherwise I think I also like how warm and friendly people are. There's also this humour in how things are handled and seem which I think it's nice. Again, this is a perception I get from the region I live in, so I'm not sure. Though this is something people here tend to complain about when they go to other countries, so I guess it is at least some sort of significant cultural difference!

Least favourite things are the ever present fear of impeding violence and the blatant social inequality.

Day to day things hmmm. I have no parameter for how it goes out there, but I've heard enough stories that indicate this might be a thing: showering multiple times a day lol. I'm from a hot place so there is that, but this does seem to be a cultural thing as well. Like, I've heard of landlords from other countries complaining of brazilians that use 'too much hot water' because we shower a lot.

Just caring about cleaness a lot in general. Like, again I'm not sure which of these things are cultural outliners but from what I've heard, even things like. You go out, as soon as you go home you take off the 'going out clothes' and shower. And you avoid sitting on the bed sheets with 'going out clothes' etc.

Another thing is that is is very culturally acceptable to be late! To the point where being on time is at times more awkward. Like, say, if a party is said to start at 7 PM, people generally arrive closer to 8PM. I can remember a few birthdays I'd attended as a child where if you arrived 'on time' you'd basically be the only guest present and there would be this awkward air of 'Why Are You Already Here'.

I've also heard we say things we don't mean more? Like half heartedely making plans to go out with a friend or be there a certain day - but its kinda expected that neither side will follow through unless you constantly check up with each other during the days leading to it. I think this steems from a general need to be pleasant and friendly so people don't want to say they won't go or just outright refuse things without coming up with excuses etc.

And at last for tidbits of culture: CHILDREN BIRTHDAY PARTIES FUCKING RULE!!! HARD!!! Even if you're middle class or such it is not uncommon for parties to have trampolines, magicians, clowns, children entertainers etc. A shit ton of decoration, little gifts for the guests to take home (usually cheap toys or candy), themed birthday invitations, themed parties with decorated pannels, a shit ton of candy etc. There's even this sorta common agreement that even if you're bored because you'll be the only adult there, it is fun to attend children birthday parties because you'll eat like a king.

I think thats it!!! I hope that answers it! Thanks for the question :3

[imagineitdearies]

Deep-Dive into Perfect Slaughter: The Moon

There are a lot of big themes in this trilogy of a fic that are loud and proud, like fate, hope, trust, pixie dust, and love.

But a couple of you requested a while back to know about some of the nods, references, and literary devices from the fic that maybe weren't so plain to the eye. I tried at first making a list--but the very first bullet got so long, I think I have to accept that most of these will need their own post 😂

So, without further ado, here's a little deep dive into one of the big motifs throughout Perfect Slaughter: the moon!

While this story has little to do with the gods--except maybe to show how often they don't show up for people in Faerun unless they need something--the moon throughout Tyrus's story represents many things outside of its connotations to Selûne. In ch1 we learn he comes from Reithwin, a town of people who all worship the moon goddess, so on a basic level the moon acts as a beacon home for him throughout the story, a reminder to the reader of his past even once he's forgotten--and a tiny bit of foreshadowing, that he will return to it one day.

On a deeper level, I'd say the moon is a representation of Cynda and Tyrus's bond with her, a comfort he turns to subconsciously throughout the story. For instance--in ch15, as I'm sure many of you recall, he prays to Selûne first, because "the moon was a celestial light that hadn’t shunned him since the Turning." While that does him little good, this small line was a subtle promise to Tyrus/the reader that Cynda would not shun him or love him less when she does eventually learn of his vampirism.

Tyrus also makes a promise while looking up at the moon that he would "free Astarion, no matter what" (ch11), a very important oath he holds onto for the rest of the story. And when he's about to face what he thinks is his death, "Tyrus swallowed hard, whispered the moon a short 'Goodbye,' and allowed Astarion to lead him back into the shadows" in ch35. On some subconscious level, saying a permanent goodbye to his sister and the chance of returning home as well.

(In that same scene: "they watched the moon set on the final night before the feast, Selune’s tears glinting off the early traces of dawn with an extra winking glow" -- Tyrus’s subconscious thinking that Cynda will truly have to mourn/cry for him now)

The moon's cycle was also used to indicate how much he remembers Cynda throughout the story. It's full and brilliant when he first crawls out of his grave as a newly born vampire in ch3, when his memories are still accessible. It's a "vivid crescent" after he's finally allowed outside in ch11, when he's mostly forgotten her. And it is a setting moon and has a "faded face" in ch35, when she's lost entirely to his conscious mind and he thinks he's about to die. But, like the celestial body itself, Cynda was never truly gone even when he couldn't see/remember her. In ch40, "a full moon rising from the east" as they enter the druid-harper camp foretells that the two siblings are about to reunite at last 🩵

Add on top of all that the fact she literally becomes a Selûnite cleric during this time apart . . . it's really not so subtle, when you think about it 😂

There is another much subtler moon motif, though! This was far less intentional on my part than everything above, but my mind was blown after I noted the parallels between Tyrus's character arc and this moon rabbit myth halfway through writing, and the amount of rabbits planned in my story multiplied...like rabbits! (More on animal metaphors in a future post maybe 😉)

With this idea of the selfless moon rabbit in mind, one can argue at its deepest level the moon metaphor in Perfect Slaughter isn't just about Tyrus's sister, but a reminder of his own kind, loving soul that is still in him despite all the pain and betrayal that has twisted him.

Getting even further into the weeds--if you subscribe to the "Astarion is a moon elf" headcanon, and remember how Tyrus's love for Astarion is highlighted in both Tystar moon scenes in part 3 (ch26 and 35 specifically), one could argue that Tyrus's heart is the moon, and so comes to represent his love for not only Cynda but Astarion as well, which is what saves all of them--a heart, the true place 'home' resides in 🥰

Alright, that's enough from me! Let me know if you have questions or noted other moon motifs/metaphors! I hope you all enjoyed 🩵

[dr-docktor]

Ok I have an outline for a swap au/curt falls au

I've had this SaF au rotating in my head for a hot minute and I got some details down and I want to write it all down somewhere so here! Fair warning: it’s pretty underdeveloped but as I get suggestions and stuff I hope to develop it more:-)

Quick thanks to @randeeznuts for letting me yell at him about this in Discord <3

Its a Curt Falls au where, of course, Curt is the one to fall instead of Owen. It's still Curt's banana peel, however.

After the incident, Owen retires. Mourning the fact that he and Curt never got to run off together. Instead he picks up what little he has left of that fantasy and tries to pull it together.

A tiny cottage on a lake, a hairless cat named Penelope, a vegetable garden... You get the idea.

And all things considered, he could be doing so much worse. Penelope is spoiled rotten and the vegetable garden looks gorgeous no matter the time of year. Ignore the thousands of abandoned hobbies scattered across the coffee table and carpet. Ignore how he hasn't cut his hair since he chopped most of it off in some grief-driven rage 3 years ago. Ignore how his back porch reeks of cigarettes as his smoking habit has gotten so much worse. Ignore the fact that all he can think about some days is how efficient the little pronged rake in his hand is just as efficient at tearing up weeds as it is tearing through flesh.

Admittedly, I'm not 1000% sure how or why he decides to go back into the field for this one mission. My best guess is Cynthia finds his ass and is like "Hey bestie, I need a huge favor." I will expand on that later, I swear.

I imagine the main plot points of the show continue. You got Tatiana, the casino, etc. etc. etc. (once again I will expand on specific changes later) I also imagine most of the comedy with Owen comes from him being the sort of straight-man (haha) in most situations.

Being able to bounce off of whatever insane event is happening around him with utter seriousness and sarcasm. Because he just wants to get through this and get back to his cat. (the cat-sitter doesn't even know her favorite food! Much less her routine oh how will she live happily???).

He also never clarifies to anyone if Penelope is an animal or human so people are just consistently arguing about if he's talking about a child or a cat. Tatiana and DMA keep interrupting BVN's speech to debate this. Tatiana claims that its clearly a child, that Owen's eyebags and stubble indicate a stressed-out single father while DMA firmly thinks she is a cat for reasons he will not explain.

SPEAKING OF DMA :-) I think the guy needs no further introduction. There's still a lot of gaps in development, specifically centered on why Curt would ever join Chimera. I very firmly believe that they didn't torture Owen. But given how loyal and stubborn Curt is, I don't think they'd be exactly gentle while trying to persuade him. This might change later on, who knows.

Curt's version of the DMA is so interesting to me because I think he'd be a lot more reactive than the Owen DMA if that makes sense? Like very quick to explode with anger. Like he acts all smug while insisting Penelope is, in fact, a cat and not a human child. But as soon as he's asked why he thinks this, he fires back with a "Because I can just tell, okay?!?!??!" and then awkwardly trying to redirect the conversation.

I also think Curt's DMA accent would be along the lines of New Jersey or Boston. Mainly because it's an accent he can mimic SUPER well (thanks Ms Mega!). I've always had the headcanon that Curt is really good with languages and accents which sort of contributes to this.

In terms of physical appearance I don't imagine this DMA to look like Joe Walker. But I don't really have a solid grasp on what he does look like. However, I really like the idea of him wearing these black goggles on his head that he finally puts over his eyes during the torture tango.

Just imagine the light of electricity getting reflected in these bad boys during the torture tango. While Curt's got this massive grin that, in any other context, would come off as friendly and dorky (if not a little bit smug). Scary!

Also, because it's Curt, I imagine he fidgets a lot. Maybe in the background of scenes where he's not doing things he'd be practicing tricks with a butterfly knife or cracking his joints.

Ok back to plot stuff.

I like to think Owen figures out the identity of the DMA at some point shortly before the reveal. There's a clear moment where the clues click together (Like those jigsaw puzzles sitting abandoned on his coffee table). But Owen sort of shrugs it off just out of sheer denial. He knows its true, but it's not until the reveal where he's forced to confront it.

I know realistically this would end in only one of them walking out of the staircase scene alive (I couldn't even tell you which one). But my heart really wants for there to be a happy ending. Like most of this, I'll figure it out eventually.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Mini Costume Meta

Poker game Eddie!!

I did bucks outfit yesterday and today its the turn of Eddie!!

Again I apologise for the rubbish screenshots, I'll have better ones in my actual costume meta after the episode has aired!!

It's really hard to tell in these screenshots, but Eddie is dressed in a blue tartan suit. When the still dropped and we all went into meltdown, I thought the jacket was blue and a dark green teal, now I've seen it a bit better, I'm pretty sure its actually royal and navy blue - a navy that is almost black!

Ok firstly we have the check theme to contend with and the fact that in 911 verse, check means potential danger and change and that rings true here, I just don't think the check is for physical danger.

We need to look at all the times Eddie has worn a suit to fully appreciate what is going on with the check, so bear with me!

This new suit is the 4th one we've seen Eddie wear. First up is the navy suit (and grey marl tie) we see him wear to his interview and look around Durrand School.

Then we have the black on black suit we see him in when he's suit shopping for Christopher with Ana.

Followed by the blue check suit with black spotty shirt we see him in at Hen and Karens vow renewal.

I hope you can all start to see what is going on here - each suit is connected not only to where Eddie is at mentally, but it is also connected to a person (Shannon, Ana, Eddie himself and then this new one Buck) and a key moment in Eddies story.

I'm not going to really really drill down into all the suits because I don't have the time, but that first navy suit with its white shirt and mismatched tie is very much conveying an Eddie who is both uncomfortable and unsure of who he is - the mismatched nature of the overall outfit is meant to look a bitt off and jarring. The navy of the suit itself is about trust, loyalty and stability - all things very relevant to Eddie in that moment - he is trusting Carla (and by extension Buck), he is trying to provide stability for Chris, and he is still loyal to Shannon.

Its very telling that the only truly odd one out is the black suit - the one connected to Ana! Its also the only suit we know for definite that Eddie didn't pick for himself. The black suit is meant to indicate the concept of the black dog of depression - a black cloud hanging over both Eddie and the relationship with Ana.

The suit Eddie wears to the HenRen vow renewal with its small check pattern and the black shirt with the blue dots is showing us Eddies progress - he's still going through it, the check tells us that - but the fact that we've gone from Eddie having panic attacks in a black suit and we've now got an Eddie in a much brighter blue (still with some black in the shirt as a nod to the previous suit - think of it like the blue overtaking and erasing the black) indicating that he is much calmer and at peace with himself. If you want to read more about this suit, then head over to my pinned post and read the costume meta for 5x18!

Back to the check theme and the new suit jacket - yes this is a darker suit than the previous one, but its still two shades of blue - a combination of the navy of the first suit and a brighter blue which connects to the vow renewal suit. connecting the two suits to this suit is important from a narrative perspective,

for me the use of this tartan check is just the next stage of the very tiny check - its not going to be all smooth sailing for Eddie yet and I think the Pepa meddling is the thing that the check is foreshadowing

White pocket squares - nobility and wealth as well as love and luck - much of these meanings stem from the age of chivalry - ladies pocket squares being given to knights of the joust as a token of luck etc

In modern US parlance, pocket squares are a symbol of anti traditionalist values - by this I mean, you won't find those of a right wing persuasion (Donal Trump and his lot) wearing a pocket square. Pocket squares are and were considered a symbol of sophistication - especially in golden age Hollywood - Cary Grant, Fred Astaire, Clark Gable etc all wore pocket squares in various ways.

The reason I'm giving you all this information is to point out that the fact we have Eddie wearing one here is both interesting and telling. As far as I'm aware this is the first time we've seen one worn on 911 (I don't have any notes of any of the mains wearing one in my costume plots!) so this is tapping into all of the meanings above, Eddie is wearing it as a symbol of wealth (appropriate for a poker game!) but mostly as a nod to old school Hollywood.

The costume department are trying to evoke that era through Eddies costume, the set is also evoking that era and so the two things are working in tandem (Bucks red velvet suit jacket also does the same thing - it mimics a smoking jacket which was a common thing for men to have in their wardrobe and wear to play poker or pool). They're essentially trying to make Eddie look like those leading men because in their films they always got the girl (in Eddies case its indicating he's gonna get the boy!).

Onto the Black turtleneck! Black turtlenecks have such an interesting history, they have very strong links with antiestablishment and activism - often worn as a statement or a symbol of protest. The turtleneck is meant to be non-conformist and set the wearer apart from societal norms. The black panthers wore them as part of their 'protest uniform' in the 50's and 60's making them part of the activist style and cementing them as a garment of protest and dissent.

Steve Jobs very deliberately chose the black turtle neck as part of his uniform - to appear down to earth and casual, but also to set him apart from the shirt and tie wearing Bill Gates - it made Apple seem not only aspirational, but also more user friendly to the everyman over the nerdy suits of the establishment!

We've seen it used for the same purpose in film - think Cary Grant in to catch a thief - wearing both a navy and white striped turtleneck as well as a black one when he's being 'the cat'

Or even Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face - when she's in the jazz club dancing - a scene supposed to show her as different from the traditional models found gracing the pages of 'Quality' the fictional magazine Fred Astaire's Character photographs for.

In the 1920's and 30's, Noel Coward made them popular and as a result they became a symbol of queerness - this is also the origin of the black turtleneck as a piece of clothing representing something non-conformist that all the other iterations stem from.

So Eddie wearing a black turtleneck at this moment in time is such a choice. It is meant to show us an Eddie who is comfortable in his own skin and that that Eddie is non-conformist. This works on a couple of fronts - it is a nod to the fact he has defied his families expectations and choices for him - that he has decided to be better for himself, that he's going to therapy and working on himself. But its also a nod to an Eddie now comfortable enough to break from heteronormativity and embrace his queerness - something which is still considered to be non-conforming!

I've already screamed about Eddies watch (you can see a decent glimpse of it in the still above), so I won't go into it too much here, but I will mention again how important I think it is that this is (likely, as we've not yet seen the episode) the first time we're seeing this new watch. I mentioned previously that the first time we saw the blue faced leather strapped watch was at his coffee date with Ana - a watch very much connected with Christopher and of course that relationship was very much about Eddie following Christophers heart not his own (even though we know Christophers heart will probably be happier with Buck than it ever was with Ana!!!). So this new watch is very much now connected to Buck (and the fact that Buck appears to also be wearing a new and metal watch has me all kinds of feral because if he is it is telling us that Buck and Eddie are both on the same page and that their timing is now in sync - so Buddie cannon here we come!!

[hajihiko]

Do you think that Fuyuhiko can sometimes hear Junko whisper to him? How would he react?

Funky brain stuff talk!

So as someone who has very realistic dreams, occasionally hallucinates a teensy bit, and misconstrues sensory input frequently:

It's not *quite* that he can hear it, but also kind of yes. One second he hears something, but the very next second he's not sure if he heard it or his mind was playing tricks on him. Its always something short and tiny enough that he can't be sure how much happened and how much is just like, his short term memory echoing back to him. Sometimes it's the wind in the curtains or the waves on the shore that, for a second, sound like a voice, but then he thinks back and, it probably wasn't, right? There's nothing to indicate it wasn't just in his head, but then why is his brain creating *that* input?

It's scary because it's usually something violent or nasty or unhinged, and he wonders if it's just him thinking those things, which would be very dangerous if it meant he's slipping back into despair.

Mostly it's visual, though; peripheral movement that looks like something else, shadows where they shouldn't be, something just *barely* in his blind spot that turns out to be something different than it looked like.

Once he starts to seriously consider that he's losing it- he *was* never an ordinary student after all, so maybe redemption just isn't possible for him- well, you know he tends to be very drastic.

[linnaealyn]

Been working on again off again on a Xenogears portrait mod for two years now, started in Sept 2021 right before I actually finished the game for the first time. Some time ago I started adding upscaled (hand painted) versions of UI elements, so I guess its now a general texture pack I'm working on.

Its done through RetroArch's Beetle PSX HW core real-time texture replacer.

My goal with this is to make a texture pack that stays very true to the original look of the game. I don't want to redesign elements, impose too much of my own influence into it, and make the game look like it had an identity crisis. I still want it to look like Xenogears in the end, just upscaled, and where the portraits are concerned I want it to look as close to the original artwork as possible, with no scanning artifacts and low res quality- as if we actually had digital versions of Tanaka's original artwork.

Also, this isn't intended to be super high res 4k or anything, idc about that.

Figured I'd make a full post here going over everything I've done so far. I'm on the home stretch! Just a few more left.

⬆ Starting with UI. I replaced the red selection arrow, the red/grey spheres, save block icon, save/load text/bar, Walk/Gear icons (more about that one later), compass cardinal points (was unable to get a proper dump of the circular compass texture), and the dialogue diamond and selection diamond within menus.

I totally get it if someone wouldn't want to use something like the dialogue diamond, as you see it all the time right beside the pixelated text and it seems to stand out more in dialogue vs the one in menuing bc your attention is typically focused elsewhere while menuing. In the end, all changes are optional and to remove something all you have to do is move/delete the equivalent img file from the texture replacement folder. Within said folder I have a sub-folder titled "alternate portraits" where I keep alts and things I want to "disable" without outright deleting.

⬆ In combat UI I've replaced the HP/dmg numbers, the Time/AP/numbers, battle palette text (used for other text as well), the circle and tags of the battle palette, Time/AP/fuel bars, green Gear text and numbers, Gear attack level/♾ indicator, black Gear UI backgrounds, and combo icons. The red arrows have been replaced, but unfortunately the black arrows around the red cannot be replaced based on how the game does it; it is not a texture you can change, it is a triangular shaped box that the game fills with the black texture from behind Gear UI.

⬆ Menu/gameplay buttons. Also numbers/"points/fuel/cancel end" Someone mentioned playing with a switch pro controller or joy-cons so I threw an ABXY version together as an alternate button display option. Used the same typeface as the combo icons to keep some consistency with a typeface already in-use as well as for overall clarity.

⬆ Also, DB icons, EP/Fuel/Miss text, and "total damage". Unfortunately, the other DB icons (showing the △🞪☐ highlighted) cannot be replaced as far as I can tell. The battle UI textures (the 17 or so textures of the same thing in varying hues) shows them on it, but changing them in each one of these textures does not change the icons. It does not pull from these specific texture dumps, in other words; its just one of those that doesn't dump, like the circular compass texture.

⬆ In working on the Walk/Gear icons I wasn't sure exactly how I'd go about doing it because the original is literally just that tiny. So I had the idea of putting a little Fei & Weltall in it, outlined by the same grey. Thought it might be weird in the other party members' menus, idk, and I don't like changing things too much from the original, so I decided to just use Fei/Weltall as the grey silhouettes instead. Ill keep the Fei/Weltall one as an alt option if anyone wants to use it.

⬆ And the minimap. Kept B&W so that the colored dots (indicators of where all you can enter an area) aren't difficult to see. I do have a colored version as an alt, though. Credit to Adelinold for having ripped the 3D maps and made a bird's eye view "minimap" esque screenshot of the world map some years back because it is absolutely perfect for use here.

~~~~~

Now onto portraits, the main bulk of the work. This includes dialogue portraits, menu portraits, and gameplay portraits. I go through each one individually, find the highest quality version of the art, and clean it up manually, painting over it to get rid of any jpg rot, scanning artifacts, or print dots from scans while keeping it as close to the artwork as possible. In order to keep colors consistent across the board (because scans of the artwork can vary) I'm picking from the sprites. One portrait typically takes 2.5+ hours, not including testing them in-game. Each one needs to be tested in-game and edited to make sure semi-transparent pixels around the portraits don't result in black or white pixels in the area that should be transparent.

⬆ Direct comparison to the sprites. I'm not too strict about how I match how much of the art is shown, but in instances like this I like to show more of the character than the pixelated portraits allowed for. However, this wouldn't work for everyone as Fei's default portrait is also used when Kim is naked from the hips up.

For the Captain I specifically wanted to get his pipe within frame. Typically the portraits end just behind their ear, have the eyes at 1/2 to 2/3 height, and end just above the clavicle.

⬆ Some portraits like Kim and Elly have no artwork equivalent, but were pretty basic to make with the artwork of Fei & Elly that we do have.

⬆ Other characters have no artwork equivalent whatsoever, like Stein and Wel-Gear Hammer. For Stein I had to take the collar from Stone's artwork and paint something from scratch using Stein's sprite as reference. This one was more fun to do than I expected because its a special case, entirely different from all of the other portraits. For example, usually the artwork has 4 colors for skin- base color, shadow color, deep shadow color (usually seen directly under the chin, used sparingly), and a highlight color for on the nose or lip. But with Stein his skin had many different colors you could pick from the sprite and no equivalent artwork to limit yourself in how many there actually are. So in trying to get it looking just right it took something like 7 different shades of varying pink, red, and orange. It clearly has more dynamic shading compared to all of the other portraits.

For Wel-Gear Hammer... I did my best given what all I could see was even happening in the sprite.

⬆ I made a close eyed Elly portrait as there is no artwork of it and a bomb collar Fei and Hammer portrait using the bomb collar in Rico's art. Its fun playing around with them when there is no equivalent artwork.

⬆ Made an unsmiling Citan to mirror his unsmiling dialogue sprite vs his smiling menu sprites as well as alt Krelians to better match the expression of his mouth that the sprite has vs the artwork. (sprites are always a bit stretched compared to the artwork, btw. even when you rip them from the disc)

⬆ I'm also working on alternate versions, like a two-eyed Bart I did for fun.

~~~~~

It is finished! 1.0 anyway. Right in time for the North American 25th Anniversary! I just gotta get it uploaded somewhere.

I'll continue to work on the ones that I think still need more work, but for now even the ones that are in rougher shape are passable.

Ill have two versions of the mod- one with stretched and cropped portraits that work in 4:3 (much like the sprite portrait bmps in the base-game that end up looking fine in true 4:3. they kind of end up blurrier due to stretching the artwork) (with Crop Overscan set to None) and another version which isn't stretched or cropped so its as crisp as I could get them, but in order to get them to display the image exactly as they are in-game without squishing you need Crop Overscan set to Static (removes horizontal padding) which makes it just slightly off 4:3. Honestly, to the untrained eye its hard to tell it isn't 4:3. 🤷‍♀️ The only thing you might notice it really affecting would be the animated cutscenes.

I'll make a master post for the mod itself, separate from this. This'll end up being a bit of a time capsule for me.

[mabelskins]

how to design: guidebooks

Okay, so I’ll just be straight forward, there will be little about coding here and way more about the look, mental models and navigation design tips to make your guidebook more effective. After navigating a few rp sites and making MANY mistakes with guidebooks, I decided to make my own guide to making effective guidebooks for your rp site with all that I’ve learned. 

First of all, let’s do some thinking here. The guidebook is the first place the players will be looking at on your website to decide whether or not they will be playing. Usually there is A LOT of information, about the settings, factions, powers, you name it. From a player's perspective, it's usually pretty overwhelming and exciting to go through this brand new universe they are emerging to. So it’s our job to make this experience as easy as possible. 

How do we do that? Well, it’s mostly about navigation. How will you decide to guide your users through the site? What visual cues will you be giving them? 

When it comes to online navigation, its very similar to navigating yourself through a physical place. You will usually use landmarks, visual cues, and signage. You will need to understand three things: where you were, where you are and where you want to be. Google maps is great at that, making it so easy that you can use the tiny dot to know which direction you are going (which is a life saver for someone like me who has no sense of direction).

What does that mean in a web scenario? Here are my five tips on making better designs:

Link states

Different states for left menu links (default, hover and active) will help the user understand where he is and where they can click next, making it look interactive and clickable. Something as simple as making active links bold or a different colour goes a long way.

Buttons & Spacing

Have you got buttons within the pages? Links that connect to the fc page or other pages within the website? Make them stand out! Sometimes, links get lost because they look too much like a simple text. So instead of blending it into the text, make that link stand out. You can do it by adding an underline (if you want to be subtle) or make the link look like an actual button. 

Also, don’t forget to give proper spacing. Sometimes when there’s a lot of content, we feel the need to cram it all up to make it fit - but that can be confusing to the user. Make sure you provide enough space around the links and buttons to make them distinguishable and easy to read. 

Other navigation Methods

Sometimes there is just a LOT of information. I mean a lot, and I’m always so impressed about how detailed some universes are - it's amazing. So, if that’s the case, perhaps consider other navigation methods, such as breadcrumbs, top navigation or a sub navigation bar. You may even go as far as drop-downs. Just remember to keep it consistent (more about that below) so the user always knows how to go around.

Location

Stick with familiar locations! This one I haven’t seen a lot, but thought I’d include. Don’t make the users relearn how to navigate! Stick to familiar locations - if you are trying to innovate, think of other ways that can help the user instead of confusing them. Top and left navigation are the most used for guidebooks.

Consistency and organisation

Last but not least. The way the information is organised is VERY important. I cannot emphasise this enough. The left navigation bar should always be the same, the items shouldn’t change and there should be clear indicators in the headings to show where the users are and how to go back. Headings should be the same all around. So, this one goes to both coders and site staff - organise your material. The hierarchy and grouping of the content will help to determine the structure of your guidebook.

That’s it! I hope you find this useful, and if you’d like more posts like this let me know - what kind of content would you like to see on how to design?

Any questions, ask box is always open! Would love to hear from other coders what their thoughts and tips are too <3

[ishgard]

dog - for the single word drabble prompt!

"A drabble is 100 words, a drabble is a hundred words" I chant to myself as I go over 500.

Thank you so much though!! As soon as I saw it I knew exactly what old scene to finally write that's been in my head since grinding Holminster Switch and getting the Black Hayate. 😂

"Can't imagine why you'd want to come back here already." Ardbert's voice emerged from the silence, a frown etched into his features as he surveyed the smoldering ruins of Holminster Switch. It was a town of ghosts now, naught but a few embers still glistening under the blanket of night. 

She can never quite know when her favorite ghost is going to chime in, but it is a surprise tonight. 

"I'm not sure, either." She replied, nudging over a broken piece of fence before continuing along the winding road. "There's so little civilization left here, I suppose I just..." Lips pursed, her brow furrowed as her gaze swept over the wreckage. "Wanted to get an idea of what it was like. Without all the fighting and screaming." 

Ardbert said nothing, but his silence was so heavy it could have been worth a thousand words. 

What broke the silence was not either of their voices but instead a tiny, distinct whimpering. Frowning, Ahru’s hand went for the hilt of her rapier, gaze scanning around her. 

“…Do sineaters typically make sounds like that?” She asked in a whisper. 

“Far be it from me to assume they couldn’t… But not any that I’m aware of.” 

The sound came again, this time accompanied by the shifting of shadows from beneath one of the half-toppled buildings. Her fingers gripped the handle as her eyes made out the form of-

Oh. A dog. A puppy, to be exact; black and white with the cutest ears and -less cute- a limp in its front paw. It gave a pathetic little wag of it’s tail, clearly exhausted but happy to see people. 

“Aww, you poor thing!” Ahru cooed, taking only a few steps forward before crouching down with her hands held out - she didn’t want to scare it. “Come here, sweetie.”

It’s tail wagged again and it limped forward, sniffing at her fingertips and licking them feebly. Grabbing some dried meat from her satchel she held it out to him and he ate it up eagerly, visibly perking up. 

“Can’t believe the little guy survived all that.” Ardbert mused, crouching down beside her. As calm and stoic as he acted, she was pretty sure from the smile on his face and the glint in his eye he very much wanted to scoop the creature up and give it a good thorough petting.

“You must be pretty clever, huh?” She asked to a response of eager yips. After a testing scratch behind his ears, she gingerly touched her hand to his injured leg, infusing it with healing magicks. Fortunately the wound wasn’t too bad, and within seconds he was bouncing around, yipping and wagging his tail like wild, licking at her hands. 

“Doesn’t look like he has a collar…”Ardbert murmured, clearly far more interested than she imagined he’d ever admit to. “He’ll need a name.”

Just as amusing was the fact they were, despite saying nothing of it, on the same page. Evidently being a Warrior of Light also indicated a habit of picking up strays, at least where they were concerned. Laughing she gave the dog ‘a good thorough petting’, before plucking him up into her arms. 

“I’ve got it. I’ll call you Ardbert!”

“What?”

The pup yipped and howled, wiggling in her arms as its tail practically spun in happy circles. 

“See? He likes it!”

[van-iira]

Greetings, Winner! You may notice that your timer is rather... extravagant, so to speak. This is merely a display of our respect for you, and doesn't do anything to help or hinder you in any way. We do, however, recognise that it is rather large and imposing and have allowed you to control its presentation to a degree.

We hope you like it!

The Administrators.

—

Grian sighed as he read the floating message in front of him. No one had told him anything about something like this. He glanced around for a body of water to get a better look at whatever it was that kept peeking into his peripheral.

—

Scott blinked in surprise, then blinked a bit more as he became aware of the motes of light floating around his head. Huh… he was used to the usual crystals, but these were new. He rushed off to find a way to look at them better.

—

Pearl stared at the purple letters in confusion. Who? She'd never heard of any administra– ah, would that be those people from Grian's explanation between games? That'd make sense. With those thoughts circling her brain, Pearl looked for a way to see her reflection.

—

They were right, Grian thought. The 'timer' was very extravagant. A large sun, presently green, floated behind his head, streaks of light shooting off in the cardinal directions – almost like imitating a compass. As he twisted and turned to get a better look, Grian spotted the bottom of the 'sun' and noted a sliver of darkness. It was tiny, barely worth nothing, but the fact that it was there at all was rather telling.

A sunset, huh? How fitting.

—

Scott watched himself grin a little as he got a good look at himself. Stars, more obvious than ever before, floated about his temples. Smaller constellations dotted the air around his face, not quite blocking it but not keeping it completely clear either. They were all green he noticed – his 'timer' seemed to match the life signifiers from the other games, then. Well, it was definitely the prettiest of them.

—

Pearl looked in awe at the light behind her head. Five sets of moons, four of which being crescents, that acted almost like a halo behind her. They were green, obviously indicating her life, but that didn't take away from the… radiance of them. She moved her head around wildly for a bit and found that they stayed firmly behind her no matter what. So interesting.

—

'It almost looks like a crown', they thought.

—

With a frown Grian swiped at the air with his hand, and the sun disappeared in a shimmer of light. That thing would draw so much attention, and he just didn't want to deal with that. Thing was… he doubted it would go away entirely, so he glanced back down at the water and spotted something at his neck. …A tattoo, maybe? He traced it with his finger and it seemed to have the same sun-like shape he'd just dismissed – it was also green, rapidly proving his suspicions. …And though thinner, it also had the same sliver of darkness at the bottom. Well. It was better than nothing, he guessed, and Grian stalked off.

—

Scott recalled the message from the 'Administrators' and paused. He could get rid of this, apparently, make it less grand. That did sound helpful, he was very shiny at the moment, and walking around like a particularly green beacon likely wouldn't do him any favours.

But. He normally looked like this, right? He always had things floating around his head, there were just a few more. That may raise questions, but nothing too substantial. After a moment of thinking over it, Scott became sure in his decision, and continued on his treck away from spawn; he'd already lost ground with this detour.

—

Pearl reached back to one of the thinner crescents, but stopped. This was… really suspicious, wasn't it? She'd already drawn attention last time with '5am Pearl' or whatever they'd called it. Having a massive beacon behind her definitely wasn't going to do her any favours, no matter how pretty it was. She shouted a few variations of 'go away!' for a bit before realising that a swift move of her arm was all she needed, and they were gone. She mourned the moons' disappearance for a moment, but as she stared at her reflection, she spotted something new at her neck. Five moons, four of which being crescents. She guessed that's what they meant by 'to a degree', there was no way she could fully hide her life indicator. Satisfied with her newfound knowledge, Pearl wandered off into the woods.

—

'How weird' they thought, with varying levels of wonder.

[sometransgal]

OK so here's a weird feeling that I'm not sure any other trans girl has. I have a tiny dick. Like, too tiny to use. I feel sometimes that there's a weird expectation (maybe not the right word) that trans girls have large dicks.

Idk, it's a weird. It makes me feel real self conscious. That on top of body image issues and dysphoria makes me feel inadequate. Like I'll never live up to someone's ideal.

Idk this feelsramble. Do you or anyone you know get a similar feeling?

You're sending this to a long time member of the small girldick club so I can very much understand where you're coming from. I've struggled with the same when I was younger and less confident in myself because there can be expectations set on trans women (in certain circles on the internet anyway) to have average to above average cock size.

There is this sort of perfect trans woman image that develops in our communities. It's typically a combination of the aesthetic and personal preferences of the group and more broadly the preferences of the racist patriarchal society we find ourselves in. This is something I've brushed against fairly often. The trans community as a whole has some major issues with plus size trans women, and as a plus size trans woman, it can really mess with your head to not reach that idealised version of trans femininity.

So how do we combat that feeling when it comes to things we cant change like our dick size? Well we let go of the idealised trans woman. We simply stop holding ourselves to the community standards that are hurting us. Instead we hold ourselves to a personal standard. We change the things we can change, whether it be the small everyday things like shaving or the larger scale things like HRT. We try to improve ourselves compared to ourselves. Small steps really add up towards improving the whole, something that's been said and ignored thousands of time but remains nonetheless true in my experience.

That all being said it's not easy to ignore the standards of our community but trust me as a trans woman, nothing is more liberating. We are so heavily policed for our bodies from outside communities it bleeds into our own and we can be fucking awful about it. If you're not a skinny, pretty, passing, white woman then you've definitely felt this. I find it helps to unplug from the internet on the days that the feelings are particularly bad. I like to take that time to go do something that makes me feel pretty or nice. For me its a nice long bath, for you it'll probably be different. The broader community can like what it likes and be what it wants to be, I'm going to be a me that I love.

Now i do also want to take time to deconstruct the whole concept of "small penis bad, big penis good" too. Frankly its all a bit silly to me? Small cocks have perks and downsides, big cocks have different perks and downsides. Neither should dictate desirability because neither is an indicator of sexual performance. Fucking take it from me, I've a tiny dick and I've made thousands of people cum over the years. Sex is so much more about listening to your partner, catering to their tastes, techniques, foreplay, and so much more than fucking penis size. It's very very silly to me personally that bigger is seen as better.

So anyway... in summary of my own rambly answer: Don't try to be the perfect trans woman, be a a better you for you. Whatever that you looks like.

[trainsinanime]

German street car lights

I researched this for my own reasons (that I may post about later), but I decided to put it here so I don't forget it.

Headlights. Taillights. We know how they work, we've all seen cars before. White in front, red in back, orange turn indicators, braking makes red extra bright. But for streetcars it's not always quite that simple, which makes modelling a challenge.

First of all, front: All cars and trucks and indeed all modern streetcars have two main headlights, side by side, roughly at the outer edges of the vehicle. Modern german streetcars actually have a third headlight up on top, legally required but barely visible. In this picture of a TW 6000 from Hanover (don't worry, the track curves away there, I was well clear of where the train could travel), it's the tiny little lamp above the destination display.

The idea is to make streetcars like big trains, which (in Germany, and for new trains in all of Europe) have three white lights in an upside-down V configuration in front (exceptions apply). The third light is supposed to make it clear that the thing hurtling towards you is a train. I'm not sure how well it works in this case.

But that is a fairly recent thing. For a really long time, well into the 1970s, the standard was a single central headlight. Consider this train in Vienna (note the pride flag, not relevant, just for fun):

This is a type E₂ train, first introduced in 1978, still in use today (though probably not for much longer, if you're in Vienna and you see one of them, take a picture).

Now, Austria isn't Germany, but the standards between the two countries weren't that wildly different. As far as I can tell there was no one time when dual headlights were introduced; some cities bought trains with two headlights, some with one, often at the same time. The E₂ here was sold with single headlights to Vienna, Braunschweig, Augsburg, Duisburg and a couple of others, but also with dual headlights to Düsseldorf.

In fact, there was even a dual headlight version for Vienna, but specifically only for the Wiener Lokalbahnen, a sort of interurban railway that used streetcar tracks at the Vienna end of its route. This seems to have been a common division of headlights: Single for the purely city routes, double for the longer-distance ones, until everyone standardised on double, eventually with the third headlight on top.

For added confusion, some cities, most notably Stuttgart and Hanover, used double headlights stacked on top of each other. I assume that's meant to count as one headlight, just doubled up in case one burns out.

A very rare specialty: Two headlights side by side but mounted centrally, seen in Frankfurt am Main and I don't think a lot of other places. It's not relevant, I just want to show it because it looks so silly.

Picture: TdVG Harthweg M+m.jpg, © MdE on Wikimedia Commons and Wikipedia-DE, License: CC-BY-SA 3.0 DE

Next, turn indicators. All trams have turn indicators on their sides, generally at window level, but within the window level it's anyone's guess. Some place them near the roof, some more near the middle or bottom of the windows, it seems to be whatever the operator prefers. Turn indicators at the front, near the headlights, are surprisingly not that common. Most single-headlight trams don't have them, the turn indicators on the side have to be enough.

However, the turn indicators are often found at the rear of the train, and that also puts them on the front of dual-direction vehicles (which many trams aren't). See this Frankfurt trailing car, which can only run at the end of the train:

Picture: H-Beiwagen Schwanheim 01052009.JPG, © Urmelbeauftragter on Wikimedia Commons and Wikipedia-DE, License: CC-BY-SA 3.0 unported

You see two red tail lights, and two orange blinker lights. And, in fact, on a dual-direction train from Frankfurt, you'll see the same lights on the front:

Picture: Peter Stehlik 2012.02.18 015a.jpg, © Peter Stehlik on Wikimedia Commons and Wikipedia-DE, License: CC-BY-SA 3.0 unported

But this wasn't always the case. Consider the SSB B2 trailing car from Stuttgart. It has neither motor nor cab, and must always appear at the end of a train. Despite this, it has a (single) headlight for some reason. Perhaps for when the train needs to back up? Below it is a single red tail light. The two other red things near the coupler are just reflectors.

Actually, is that a red tail light? I took that picture in 2013, so it's been a while, and it looks pretty orange, both here and in some historic pictures, e.g. this one from 1979:

Picture: Stuttgart-ssb-sl-2-bw-654287.jpg, © Kurt Rasmussen from bahnbilder.de, found on Wikipedia, licensed for any use as long as the author is credited

Colors on old photographs are a bit of a crap shoot, and in newer videos the B2s definitely have red tail lights, like here:

But in that video it also doesn't have a headlight, so who knows what rebuilds that one in the video has been through.

Of course, if it's a single orange light, that raises the question: What's that for? Orange tail lights? As far as I can tell, probably not. In fact, a combination that is surprisingly not that uncommon is a single red and a single orange tail light, e.g. here on a historic tram in Nuremberg.

That yellow/orange light is not the "backwards turn indicator". It's the brake light.

Yes, orange brake lights used to be a thing in Germany. For cars, they were phased out in the 1960s. I think historic cars are still allowed to have them, if you can find one. For streetcars, they were phased out a bit later.

Specifically, 2016.

Until then it was legal and very common to have yellow brake lights on trams, even some very modern ones. These are usually combined with the rear turn indicators: If they both light up steadily, the tram is braking, if they're blinking, the tram is about to turn. According to Wikipedia, if it's braking and turning, then one light will light steadily, the other will be blinking, similar to those red turn signals some cars in the US use.

Note, however, that "make the red tail light brighter" (or "turn it on") seems to have been absolutely legal as well, just not super popular. This video from 1974, the final year of the streetcar system in Aachen shows both types of brake lights in action:

At this point the streetcar network in that city was in terminal decline, and all the cars there were either second-hand or cheaply rebuilt 1950s stuff, so it makes sense that the lighting system was all over the place.

Final note because it didn't fit anywhere else: A single giant tail light, at least on trailer cars, doesn't seem to have ever been used in Germany, but it was not uncommon in Austria.

Picture: Wien-wvb-sl-5-c2-567109.jpg, © Kurt Rasmussen from bahnbilder.de, found on Wikipedia, licensed for any use as long as the author is credited

Other note: It seems that side turn indicators on trailer cars were optional at times. Weird.

So why do you need to know all of that? You don't. I never said you did. I did, however, because I'm currently modifying some trams for my model railroad with better lighting functions, and I wanted to know what the end result should be. The answer is, apparently, "do whatever you want", which is frankly very liberating.

I want to make it clear that this is not an expert or well researched piece. These are just the notes I made in my head while I was trying to figure this out. I almost certainly got things wrong, and I definitely missed some nuances. If you happen to know any, or can give more information on what it was like in your country, or you just feel like it, any comment/reblog with notes/anon hate is absolutely appreciated.

All pictures where no source is mentioned are © me. Use them under CC-BY-SA 3.0 if you want.