#is that how a constant brainstorm feels like or lmao

[redmarqar]

a few rock au... things! im kinda planning to draw them more someday so stay tuned

[anonzentimes]

*guy who loves talking about despair disease voice* wait can we talk more about despair disease. i have so many thoughts on despair disease and esp how it pertains to nagito

i feel like when a lot of people first play/watch the games they see nagito as someone who lies to manipulate people, which while i can’t super blame them for thinking that way bc of how hajime tries to reconcile his conflicting feelings over nagito, i get SO frustrated when ppl call nagito a liar bc no!!! no he’s not!!! you’re falling for other characters’ perceptions of him!!! nagito almost never lies and when he does he’s either really bad at it (cough cough final FTE. “i got it all from a book” you are not slick buddy) or comes clean as soon as he’s achieved his desired outcome- it’s more bluffing than actual deception, and one thing he’s especially sincere in is his beliefs and admiration for the people around him. and the despair disease PROVES this without a doubt!!

ok. i know in-text the despair disease is described as “reversing people’s personalities,” but i’ve always interpreted it a little differently. ibuki isn’t the opposite of gullible, akane isn’t the opposite of a coward, and nagito isn’t the opposite of a liar. to me, it’s always seemed like the despair disease gives its host the trait they’d most hate to have— whatever trait would instill in them the deepest despair. ibuki hates conformity- stick her with a disease that makes her blindly follow whatever she’s told. akane hates showing weakness- force her into a state of constant crying. nagito hates the idea of deceiving his classmates- make him incapable of being sincere. this interpretation makes mikan’s disease make a little more sense too imo, since remembering her brainwashing isn’t exactly reversing her personality but instead literally filling her to the brim with despair. ANYWAYS.

nagito Actively Despises not being able to tell the truth. he hates the despair disease, he sees it as a complete waste. in the ult. luck and hope and despair mangas, we actually get to see some of his internal monologue right before he passes out, and he is In Hell. he’s pissed that he can’t serve as a proper stepping stone in his state, he thinks the whole disease is stupid, and he gets so frustrated about not being able to properly encourage the group that he Literally Starts Foaming At The Mouth ????? like if you EVER wanted undeniable proof that nagito is sincere look at the despair disease. it’s basically a roundabout truth serum for him and that’s a huge part of why it’s one of my favorite motives

sidenote i feel like the despair disease has a shit ton of analysis potential in general just bc of how it turns characters into what they hate the most!! i loveeee brainstorming what symptoms certain characters would have gotten were they to get infected. hajime especially. maybe he’d get a fawning disease where he starts praising everyone nagito-style (this would highlight their bystander parallels and also make hajime feel MISERABLE bc he fucking hates when nagito points out how similar they are lmao). or maybe he’d get an apathy disease that’d essentially izuru-fy him (wonderful foreshadowing potential there, not to imagine the incredible angst of izuru being the thing hajime would hate to be most in the world.) alas i am not a fanfic author so i will sit with my concepts but it is a wonderful daydream with any dangan characters i’d highly recommend it :]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!!! I SCREAM IN UNISON WITH YOU I LOOOVEEE THE DESAIR DISEASE!!!!! MAN… I’M SO OBSESSED WITH HOW YOU INTERPRET AND ARTICULATED THE DESPAIR DISEASE💗💗💗 The Despair Disease is genuinely so good for analyzing I really do believe Danganronpa 2 Chapter 3 is the best Chapter 3 out of the franchise. I think the reserving of their personalities truly meaning the traits they would hate to have is soo good I’m eating up, sealing it in my heart, and using it forever such a delightful way to explain it. The interpretations on what disease Hajime would get is so fun, I’ve seen some people interpret him getting the honesty disease which is fun in concept but I don’t think it works as well as other ideas could, y’know? Your ideas for a potential apathy or fawning disease are really fun to me, I like the idea of the fawning disease tapping into how much of a realist he is and giving him the opposite attitude Lol. Thank you so much for sending this it’s so fun I’ll be thinking about this forever, I wish I was a fanfic writer aha! I really want to become a fanfic writer, soon with time I suppose. Thank you again for sharing your daydreams with me, you’re very right it does have a lot of analysis potential! :D

[fernsproutxx]

My fnaf lore.

anywhooo… here it goes! just to note; i have written down what happens in the security breach era, but it enters more into au territory tbh, so that will probably be a secondary reblog to this post later, since i have still to add ruin into the mix.

but without much further ado, enjoy reading my lore interpretation of this franchise (i focus mostly in satisfying narrative than being accurate)

William Afton, born on the 2nd of November in 1939 as an only child, lived in England with his parents. He was a smart child who got placed in bad circumstances by no fault of his. He was born susceptible to mental illness, afraid about his head, but the abuse from his Father after he made it back from war in 1945 shaped William terribly (If you wanna know how I picture William’s childhood, it’s pretty much just like in “His Empire of Dirt” please for the love of god read that fic it’s so good i can’t even-)

Everyone is the victim of a victim.

William moved to the USA [Hurricane, Utah] in 1958, pursuing better studies for a major in engineering and a minor in business. But also at the same time to get as far away as he could from his abusive Father. He got a part-time job at a local restaurant too.

He meets Henry Emily (born on 25/Apr/1946) in college in September of 1964, and William finds himself intrigued about how his new colleague’s mind works, even seeing a little of himself in him. William is captivated by him, his ideas, and his being.

He grows attached to Henry, as for that period Henry is the only constant in William’s life, due to him having no one to rely on when he moved alone to another country.

Without noticing, William becomes obsessed with Henry, writing in stacks of journals. Envy and admiration blind him when bearing witness to the seemingly good childhood Henry had, unlike him.

Straight William doesn’t exist, his brain just really said no homo, so he has internalized homophobia smh. Henry is straight in this, and he’s completely oblivious to William’s feelings. So it’s pretty much a one-sided thing but that one side is in denial.

Henry found William odd, unnerving, and rude at first but soon got accustomed to his presence. In the end, he felt good that finally someone intently listened to his uncommon ideas instead of saying how his projects and dreams wouldn’t get him anywhere. Having a close friend felt good for once.

Later on, William, like the jealous and obsessive bastard he is, just wants to be equal to Henry. They’re very competitive, like at first they’re just competitive in a friendly manner but as time goes on, that same competitiveness begins to corrupt William.

In November of 1965 in the middle of one of their class lessons, both of them brainstormed about opening a franchise together, Fazbear Entertainment.

Henry brought it up first as a joke, as all things usually did between the two. This time though, William enhanced the idea further than expected. He followed the lead and threw even more things into the mix. Things like how both could incorporate robotics with entertainment and how William could take care of the financial side of things.

It started as a joke, but then William dig deeper, and soon enough, Henry’s joke became something more.

While both were still finishing their studies they began the first project for their growing franchise, Fredbear’s Family Diner, as well as making the blueprints for its respective animatronics.

In May of 1968, months before their graduation both William and Henry walked around the campus. William catches a glimpse of a young ballerina at the auditorium, Cecily Schmidt (born on 29/May/1944). Henry mocks him about how dumbfounded he looked by the ballerina as if he’s never seen a woman before (lmao).

Later William would find himself at the back of the auditorium every time Cecily performed, marveling about her fluent and intricate movements, imagining one of his creations moving in that same hypnotic way.

One day William was caught off guard by Cecily, and she told him how she had seen him watching her since the beginning. William was surprised she had even noticed him since she seemed so deep into her choreography that Cecily used to always dance with her eyes closed.

They talked for a while, and Cecily found William quite charming. From then on they would always talk when she finished her practice sessions. William learns that Cecily suffers from Cystic Fibrosis and that it might cut short her dancing career.

Around July of 1968, William began to show interest in the theatrical (he even learned how to play the banjo, like terrifyingly good at it xd). He got so invested in acting that he decided he wanted to perform in Fredbear’s, so he alone came up with the idea of building the animatronics to double as wearable costumes (this was also to save some money). That’s how the spring-lock suit blueprints came to be.

It’s graduation night (16/Dec/1968) and everyone gets drunk as fuck. Henry drags William to a party at someone’s frat house where they don’t even know the host.

William was just watching Henry from afar while leaning against the wall as he drank a beer, then another, and another, and…

He doesn’t remember what happened that night. When William wakes up he's completely wasted on the floor in the master bedroom, as if he had rolled off the bed and the fall didn't wake him up. He was completely alone though, and the room was trashed.

He also wasn’t the only person that had passed out too (there were more knocked out persons in the living room and one with their head inside a toilet kekw).

On the 23rd of January 1969, William finds out Cecily is pregnant and she keeps saying that the kid is his which he blatantly denies, until she brings up the prom night. The night he doesn’t remember. He still denies it even when knowing she might be right.

Around February of the same year, Henry announces that he’s marrying Isabella Barnett (born on 31/Jan/1946 (if you know you know)). William then proposed to Cecily out of spite of Henry having a wife, and since she was already pregnant with his son he just took the chance like the competitive bastard he grew to be.

Michael is born on the 16th of August 1969 (n i c e), and William has a lingering hatred towards him but decides to put it aside for once. Henry had a child with Bella a little over a year later, and they named her Charlotte Emily (born on 7/Jun/1970).

William starts to slowly fall in love with Cecily in 1972, and they have another child, Elizabeth (whom they nickname Abby) born on the 11th of August 1973. Later on the 23rd of September 1976, they decided to adopt a boy, Evan (born on 13/May/1975).

In 1979, Fazbear Entertainment was founded and Fredbear's Family Diner was built as well as the spring-lock animatronics. Audiotapes were recorded as a means of training employees. One day while wearing the Springbonnie suit the locks fail, impaling William, but he survives despite being left scarred.

The spring-lock animatronics are retired from their wearable mode until further notice, so they instead start using regular mascot suits as they now can afford them due to Fredbear’s Family Diner being a fairly great success ever since its opening. After a while they decide to add more members to the cast besides the golden duo; Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, and Foxy. The classics.

And for once life was good. But good things don’t last forever. Cecily’s illness strikes harder in July of 1980.

Then why did William have the Funtime animatronics even when he hadn’t shown any signs of bloodlust¿ Well, to achieve immortality still BUT not for him. Guess who did end up falling in love despite not being for the right reasons at first~ fuckin William the bitch, he fell in love with Cecily and then she got sick af, but since he can’t make a cure he rather find a way around and cheat death for someone he ended up loving as one does. William experimented with animals first and while it gave positive results it didn’t get enough of what he needed so he debated on murdering children.

Between Cecily being at the hospital and William neck deep into his experiment and work, there was no one else to take care of the Afton children. Michael refused to call Uncle Henry for help, and he wouldn’t have admitted it but looking after his siblings as if he’s a parent, even if he definitely shouldn’t have had to because he’s barely a teenager, gave him a sense of normalcy because he knew that at least they weren’t being that neglected.

Cecily died from Cystic Fibrosis on the 3rd of November 1980. Michael takes it out on his brother because you know how anger is part of grief¿ Yeah…

Abby died to Circus Baby on the 11th of April 1982. Evan saw it happen from afar. This didn’t help in the slightest with Michael’s grief, and with kids being dumb in general, the bullying towards Evan gets worse. Michael just wanted to be loved just like how Father loved his brother, to have his attention.

After losing Abby, William goes apeshit (lmao), and he kills Charlotte Emily on the night of the 7th of June 1982 at a friend's party at Fredbear’s out of jealousy while wishing to make Henry feel the same way he does so they're equal. Michael loses his best friend. A little later Isabella divorces Henry due to their child being murdered, she would later pass away (29/Oct/1984) in a car crash without knowing who killed her daughter.

Around July of 1982, to make sure his youngest child, Evan, doesn’t go near any animatronic unlike his sister, William gives him a Fredbear plush with a modulated speaker and camera to monitor him at all times. He would constantly instill that the animatronics were dangerous monsters and remind him of “what he saw” when speaking at Evan through the plush, settling a new fear in him in hopes of keeping his child as far away as possible from the machines.

Evan is bullied by his older brother Michael on his birthday and forces him inside Fredbear’s mouth. Due to Evan’s tears and pushing when trying to get out, the moisture and jerky movements caused the jaw spring-locks to go back into their default position, closed.

On the 13th of May 1983, Fredbear bites Evan's head on his 8th birthday, leaving him in a coma.

“Can you hear me? I don’t know if you can hear me …I’m sorry.”

You’re broken. We are still your friends. Do you still believe that? I’m still here. I will put you back together.

Evan dies a week later due to his injury. Everything goes into an even steeper downhill.

Michael was only 13 years old when all this unfolded, and began to suffer from AvPD (avoidant personality disorder). This disorder began to develop from William’s emotional neglect and got worse after the rejection he received from others after the bite of ‘83, especially from his friend group and classmates, practically becoming an outsider.

As a punishment for what he did, in June of 1983, William tested the illusion discs with Michael by tormenting him all night with the nightmare animatronics (this is also why Michael knows how to draw nightmare fredbear in the survival logbook). Michael underwent severe sleep deprivation to the point where he even hallucinated hospital objects in his room from when he never left Evan’s bedside before passing away. If he wasn’t trying to doze off whenever he could, Mike was in a constant state of paranoia throughout the daytime.

On his first night, Michael almost didn’t make it, since right as Foxy jumped him the alarm clock blared out, leaving him with a scratch on his chin from Foxy’s hook. When telling William about it he just gaslighted him into thinking it was simply nightmares and not real for the entire week. Micheal cried for the first time since his brother died.

William did like Cecily, Evan, and Abby, he just hates Michael and blames him for everything, so their deaths add to the reason why he went apeshit, as he starts murdering children out of madness and spite towards Michael (He wanted to murder him but knew that he would get pinpointed by the police too fast). The first missing children incident happened on the 26th of June 1985. They get stuffed inside the classic animatronics plus Fredbear, and William discovers remnant. Fredbear’s Family Diner closes down in July of the same year after the backlash.

One day in November of 1985, William simply came back home to another empty bedroom. His only son had moved out to live on his own, away from anything related to his Father.

Despite not having received any prior disclosure about this, William didn’t have any reaction whatsoever and went back to his experiments without comments.

Around January of 1986, William goes on the run from Henry after they both get released from their conviction due to the lack of evidence, Henry finally realizes that William killed those kids and most likely also murdered Charlotte.

After moving out, Michael gets a small house in a social suburb where all neighbors know each other, and a job that deals with repairs and heavy machinery, nothing crazy. In April of 1986, he also meets a guy named Jeremy Fitzgerald and begins a discreet relationship with him.

In September of the same year, Fazbear Entertainment, now in the solo ownership of Henry, opens a new location, Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza (fnaf 2).

Michael receives a letter from his Father telling him about the sister location. On one of his shifts he gets a hold of the illusion disc that was removed from Funtime Freddy and takes it with him (this will be important later).

He was 17 when he died on the 5th of October 1986, his vital organs getting scooped and replaced by Ennard, worn as a rotting suit. After regaining control of his body Michael isolates himself, ignoring all the worried calls from Jeremy. He never got the chance to go to college and grow up like everyone else. He was just a kid when he died.

Michael suffers from Eisoptrophobia. The fear of seeing oneself in the mirror; is a very infrequent specific phobia. Many believe that this fear occurs in response to several factors such as superstition, poor self-image, or the result of a traumatic event. In his case, Michael is terrified of his reflection due to the likeness he shares with his Father and fears that he's just like him, a murderer. At first, he would simply cover them up with a towel or something but after getting scooped his phobia just gets worse, and he straight up just breaks all mirrors with his fist if he ever catches a glimpse.

The beginning of his phobia takes place after the bite of ‘83 when he sees his reflection. His tangled hair was greasy from the lack of a shower since he refused to leave Evan’s side. Then he saw how it curled around his neck and the dry blood that was still stuck to his hair. In a panic he started to cut it, snipping everything away. Michael refused to let his hair grow out like that, not wanting to remind himself of that day anymore, and he's not had his hair long ever since.

That’s why my Mike has short hair, and after getting scooped he gets a long wig since he doesn’t even bother to look in the mirror. Funnily enough, his facial features resemble even more those of his Father after the scoop, showing just how William already looked dead as time went by, way before actually dying.

After moving out of his Father’s house his AvPD symptoms seemed to alleviate a lot. That’s how he began to open up and be social with his neighbors and even start a relationship with Jeremy.

But you know how life tends to suddenly drag you even deeper when things barely begin to look in a positive light? Yeah, he got scooped right after “tasting the honey on his lips” of a promising future. Basically, the AvPD hit Michael like a truck in the worst way possible after getting tricked by Ennard.

Later Mike makes his mission to find his Father and make him pay for what he’s done.

Around November of 1987, William sneaks inside Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza restaurant and takes away several parts from the classic ones, making them look severely withered. Tries to make a remnant but it’s not enough with just spare parts.

In desperate need of more remnant, William goes on another killing spree, and the second missing children incident takes place. They get stuffed in the tampered toy animatronics.

The restaurant gets shut down. But one employee didn’t get the memo.

The bite of 1987 happens on the 6th day after being moved to the dayshift. Jeremy was looking for Michael all over the state but he suffered terrible consequences because of it.

When hearing about this Michael takes the job under the fake alias Fritz Smith and uses the illusion disc to pass as a normal person (who tf would employ an ourple person), but is fired the next day for tampering with the animatronics as well as his rotting odor.

Also, even though he only worked one shift, in one of his many close calls due to the animatronics being extremely aggressive, his illusion disc stopped working properly.

He also obtained his old reliable flashlight in that location, and it has never left his side since then (that shit is so big and heavy that you could kill someone with it fr).

Then the withered animatronics were reconditioned and put in a new location in 1993 (fnaf 1).

The reason Michael uses the name Mike Schmidt is bc it’s his Mother’s last name, Michael is a momma’s boy. BC MAN HIS FATHER HATES HIM SO HE JUST SPENT ALL THE TIME WITH HIS MOM EVEN AFTER HE HAD HIS SIBLINGS BUT THEN SHE DIES AND BC OF HOW MUCH IT AFFECTED HIM HE STARTS TO BULLY EVAN- FU C K.

Anyways, even after his illusion disc broke he somehow managed to get the job as a rotting corpse lmao, but Michael is fired again a week later for the same reasons as before and the place closes down.

On the 8th of February 1993, William breaks in and decides to take down the animatronics for good. However, he gets cornered by several vengeful spirits, getting spring-locked in an attempt to scare them away with the same suit he used to murder them.

The agony of his death fused his soul into this animatronic. He couldn’t move, barely able to twitch in this state. It exhausted him greatly when he tried. Just slouched over the wall, in a puddle of his dried blood.

His body spasms, wincing at the agony. He wasn’t numb. He could still feel metal in his flesh digging deeper with every movement. He groaned when trying to call out, but it sounded wheezy, filled with static from the voice box inside him. He couldn’t scream for help, despite doing his best. His body shuddered in anger, eyes flashing flickering light into the dark room he was in.

Henry visits his local to check on his failed animatronics one last time before it’s done for good but finds the classics destroyed and leading to the side room, finding William’s body inside the Spring Bonnie suit.

At first glance, Henry thought that he was dead but upon closer inspection, he noticed the flickering eyes a rasping breathing. Somehow William was still alive, but unable to move.

Henry thought this fate was well deserved. After all, he firmly believed— no, knew that William was responsible for all the murders, of Charlotte, despite nothing being proved in court.

So, with one last glance at someone he thought he once knew, he closed the door to the side room, leaving William to rot in his agony.

In later days Henry ordered the side room to be sealed off behind a fake wall.

Micheal spends the next decades looking for his Father and picking a liking to exploring abandoned places, learning the inner workings of his Father's animatronics in his spare time, which was easy since he's dealt with machinery before, and also hiding in the shadows.

[Zeitgeist Ammonium AU timeline starts here :D]

Fnaf 3 takes place in October of 2023. Michael gets a job at Fazbear's Frights, even though he hates the whole concept of an attraction based on a real tragedy. The manager even included Michael in the attraction as a security guard due to his unsettling appearance. He hated that too.

Anyways, blah blah… the ourple boy commits arson and patricide, and fnaf 6 takes placeon the 31st of January 2025. Michael pities that he once considered Henry as family.

Cassidy tortures William for eternity.

[melonnabar]

REASONS WHY I HC BOOSTER GOLD WITH BPD

A RANT

First of all, I’ve been diagnosed with BPD so most of this is from my own experiences w BPD and projection,,

So starting off with this:

Booster Gold’s imposter syndrome without the success part!

He quite literally travelled back in time to become a superhero so he could escape the shithole of his old life + make everyone like him.

Or that he’s kind of struggled his entire life of wanting to be good enough but missing the mark so, so so many times and yet he keeps putting up superficial fronts around people he wants to seek approval from?

Also whenever I see him argue with Ted (especially in Superbuddies(??) I can’t help but feel like some of his outbursts feel reminiscent of my own splitting episodes?

Thinking about how in that comic Booster is extremely frustrated w Ted for maturing in my brain it’s because he feels like he’s being left behind,, and him saying the most underhanded shit and getting extremely offended when Ted says something equally as shitty back

Oh and also that Ted is quite literally his favorite person.

Booster dedicates a lot of time and effort to spending time with Ted or going through drastic measures to do shit for him like this

Also I rly like this panel because it’s very clear the way he views himself when he masquerades as nova for a while

These next few images are taken from my own personal listings I used to show my therapist! Yellow check mark is what I feel fits booster the most and the blue ones is just me lmao

Booster mirroring other people/beliefs/personality traits that he believes will get him the most acceptance and the constant need that he has to prove himself to people even though he doesn’t have to at all,,

And Booster being an extremely spontaneous and impulsive person!! Hence some of the utterly garbage shenanigans he somehow brainstorms up that ends up putting him and Ted in jail or has him nearly erasing himself from existence lmao

I feel like it’s important to mention his nightmares as well, like this one.

And his father being extremely abusive and abandoning Booster’s family as well. Childhood abuse/neglect is a big BIG factor in why BPD functions the way it does because distress tolerance is basically nonexistent and the responses to stress don’t really develop.

Ok that’s enough rambling for now

I would talk more about it but I’m tired and not rly in the mood to write a full fledged essay on this but remember that BPD is a spectrum and most of this is based off of my own experience w it (I left out a lot of information bc some of it is extremely personal) n that everyone may experience it differently

[mozzaremi]

This might sound weird and may not fit to eldritch horror Basil…

But I have a feeling that the gang feel bad for Basil due to his constant bad luck with animals around him, and how much that makes him feel saddened himself. So, they device a plan where they brainstorm on the perfect animal to give to Basil, and eureka! A fish! They are easy to feed and don’t run away right?

So, the gang (except for sunny since he didn’t know their plans) bought Basil a gold fish! Along with a small thank and fish food for it. Unfortunately, even though they had the best intentions with this idea, Basil is internally panicking and glanced at Sunny with a face that can only be described as, “… Help me.”

Because he doesn’t know if he can keep and not eat the new pet goldfish lol

It's like the friend group offered basil a snack as a gift and he's required to look after his food for as long as he can without giving in to his cravings :,)

I have faith in basil tho! Considering it's a very sentimental gift from his friends, he'd try his darn hardest to keep the little fishy safe and sound.

As long as he keeps the lid to the little aquarium closed the fish won't attempt to escape by jumping out. Maybe later on the fish will get used to the eldritch presence, but the first few months basil has to deal with a very jumpy fish every feeding and tank cleaning time.

By the time the fish dies of old age, basil feels: proud for taking care of his pet for such a long time without eating 'em, saddened as he felt some attachment to his little scaly buddy and relieved that that's all over with.

Then cut to his friends buying him a replacement fish lmao

[teddybeartoji]

mickeyyyy tell me about your selfship lore with dazai pretty please

CARINAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M HERE I'M HERE I'M HERE!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA THANK YOU SM FOR ASKING ABT US ANGEL I LOVE HIM SM:(((((

okok so i had a chance to brainstorm a little with a friend the other day and now i'm gonna tell you all about it hehehehe:3333 also uhh.. i think this might get long so i apologize for that lmao

mizai takes place in a cute little university au!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dazai is majoring in literature (he's so pretentious i love him so bad) and i am an art major!!!!!!! this is how i get to live out my silly dreams okay lmao so i'm thinking about studying pottery or something!!!!!!!!!

and and and since the they're all so very important to me i also need to tell you that chuuya is also an art major, he's doing classical painting (but he takes some pottery classes with me and that's how we met:333). kunikida is ofc gonna be a teacher, so he's studying education aaaaaaaaaaand fedya is... a psychology major. i'm scared of him a little i won't even lie.

AAAAANYWAYYY MIZAII:333 he pretty much just lives at my place; he does have an apartment but it's super small and he just.. doesn't like it there. so he has his own key and he's free to come and go whenever he wants!!!!!!! when i say 'go' i'm actually lying bc he really is just always at my place,, like i come home and he's there. i wake up and he's there. i go to take a piss and then come out only to be met with him laying on my couch. he's weird like that i love him sm.

i also have a cat!!!!!!!!! well i mean my irl cat is just canon in the mizai world hehehee and ooooooooh my god dazai loves him so much. and shrimp really fucking likes him too (so much so that i get jealous sometimes.. ) my cat is very talkative and so is dazai so there's just constant meowing going on. and well sadly, i am no better okay i am a meower too......................... we have a proper fucking cat choir going on smh i wonder if the neighbors hate us...................

though we're both big talkers, one of our favourite things to do is literally just parallel play. he's laid out on my bed like the princess that he is with his newest book while i sit behind my desk, typing away at whatever it is that i'm writing at the moment and it's just sooo so comfortable. and then after we decide that we've been productive enough we always go to the little cafe that we both love and then go to chuuya's just to bother him a bit (he loves us) >:333333333

whenever we're out taking the bus or the train, we're sitting shoulder to shoulder while sharing earphones!!!!!!!!! he rests his head against mine and fidgets with my fingers while i choose the music<333333

oh and neither of us can sleep alone btw. we both struggle with sleep all around but it's not that bad when we're together. it's like thing apparently too you know? that like you get sleepy when you're around a person you really feel safe with? so yeah... we take a lot of naps together it's kind of like a shared love language of ours!!!!!!

OMFG WAIT I ALSO NEED TO ADD THAT UHH ODA IS HERE TOO. HE'S DAZAI'S FAVOURITE PROFESSOR. AAAAAAAAAAAAA oda loves him sm... he loves hearing all of dazai's ideas and his takes and they talk after the lectures all the time too. they actually even go to grab a coffee every now and then. dazai just really really loves talking to him and sometimes (read: every time) he comes home after seeing him, he's sooo happy:((( he has the biggest smile on my face as he just plops down on top of me and starts retelling everything they talked about with oda:(((((((((((((((((((((((((( AAAAAAAHHH CARINAA I LOVE HIM SOOO SO BADDDDD I'M GONNA DIEEEEE

he once kinda dragged me into one of oda's classes too and i was so scared that he'll throw me out bc well.. i'm not supposed to be there but then he was just checking who's there and who's not and his eyes met mine before moving to dazai's twinkling ones and he just smiled and let me be there anyway. (he would literally never throw me out)(btw i fear that.. dazai... yaps about me to him too.............. )

BUT WAHH OKAY OKAY I THINK I NEED TO STOP HERE BEFORE I ACTUALLY EXPLODEEEE I LOVE TAKING HIM TO STUDY DATES AT THE CAFE AND I LOVE TAKING HIM TO ARCADE DATES AND I LOVE LISTENING HIM TALK AND I LOVE WATCHING HIM CUDDLE WITH SHRIMP (MY CAT:33) AAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND WAHHH THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME ON THIS CARINA MY ANGEL<333333 it means a lot a lot a lot hehehehe MWAH MWAH MWAHH I LOVE YOU SM!!!!!!!!

[purpurussy]

id love to know more about your dinok au <333

thank you for asking <3 + sorry for responding to this a little late! i'm having trouble formulating my thoughts on it atm

my concept is that dan never found phil's channel, never met him, went to uni and married a girl he met there, and became a somewhat unsuccessful legal professional because he fucking hates his job. the vibe for him is that he kinda just let life drag him along, without really allowing himself to actually Live, and now he's in too deep to just come out as gay... like he's experiencing some insane cognitive dissonance dshshglk. coping through denial+alcohol has been working okay for him so far but now his career is flopping heavily and his marriage is falling apart bc he doesn't want kids (obviously) and his wife starting to suspect something is up. he meets phil through a mutual friend who he plays final fantasy with, they start talking via discord and then it's like "but wait what's this? my god it's manic pixie dream girl phil lester with a steel chair"

it's very angsty, slow burn, will they/won't they. but trust that phil is gonna see this sopping wet mess of a man and say "i can fix him" (and then dan will fix himself because i don't like that trope <3 but he needs phil to help him see that he can live his truth and be happy yk)

it's kinda hard to write because it's a bit depressing... i'm finally getting to the part where they meet irl and things start to turn around, but so far it's just been dan drinking to cope and feeling lonely :( i'm trying to go back and edit some humor into it to make it less upsetting to read lmfao. although it's fun to create a contrast between how bad dan's life fucking sucks and how much joy and whimsy he finds in talking to phil <3 it's also just really hard to write denial/cognitive dissonance if that makes sense? there's a lot to explore psychologically. and also I don't want to frame dan's beard wife as an antagonist, I feel like it would be very easy to demonize her but she's not to blame for this mess ykwim. like i don't want dan to be a "my bitch wife" kinda guy DSGSHGKG he's just scared. and the story is supposed to be about him being brave and healing, and realizing that a better life is possible. like he is his own antagonist dslskfghgjkl

I'm also enjoying the concept of the timeline roughly following their irl 2009 timeline. like they start talking around dan's 33rd birthday, meet on october 19th etc. i like the idea of some things being kinda constants even in a different timeline

anyway they just voice chat for a while and get to know each other without actually even knowing what the other looks like. and they lowkey fall in love even before they've even seen each other. so here is them seeing pics of each other for the first time and dying in a tragic double penis explosion incident

(earlier on phil tried to be like "why are you gay? you are gay." but dan just got scared and dodged the question so now he's not even out to phil . can you believe. that's gonna be real awkward when they start making out sloppy style 3 chapters later)

(also i just realized i've written [dan] like a million times while writing this LMAO that did not actually click for me until now)

sorry for rambling for ages! i'm so tired atm so i can't really be coherent lmao.

i really wanna post this once it's done, but i'm worried it'll be too sad and angsty at the beginning and people won't be into it 😭 i'm probably not doing a good job selling this but it'll be okay i promise

also shoutout to the people who helped me brainstorm dan's username! i havent decided yet but i like the idea of him picking something generic at first, and then changing it to something more meaningful as he goes on his little journey of self-discovery

[ohhgingersnaps]

Shane/leah? Tell me more! They are my two favs, but i've never thought about them as a couple.

Okay SO my affinity for Shane/Leah is a fairly recent thing (I fully credit @coolcoolglasses and @floopthecooper for fueling this particular fire and brainstorming with me haha).

My relationship with this ship has been a month-long slow-burn enemies-to-lovers kind of situation. My initial gut reaction of "eh that would never work" quietly progressed into "oh wait they might be cute, actually" and then into "oh NO! i'm invested!!"

So, reasons why I think Shane/Leah would work:

"Hello, neighbor. We both live outside of town. Does that mean something?" (from Leah’s dialogue). They're both a little introverted, and a bit non-conformist, and they both moved to Pelican Town to escape their old life. While that doesn't automatically make them kindred spirits, it's not nothing.

Leah is the sort of person who's willing to sit with someone in whatever they're going through, instead of trying to fix them or cheer them up, and that's what Shane needs. He doesn’t need a savior, he needs support.

Bonding over nature/animals. Leah talks a lot about how much she loves farm animals, even before she's interested in the farmer, and a good portion of her high-heart dialogue is along the lines of, "Oh, gosh, a farm sounds so nice, I love farms! Wouldn't it be awesome to have help on your farm? Maybe me??" Leah would absolutely jump at the chance to help take care of the animals on Marnie's ranch, is all I'm saying.

Narrative parallels. Leah's arc is partly about finding the confidence to present her art to the world, which involves a huge level of vulnerability; Shane's arc is about a lot of things, depending on how you slice it, but vulnerability's one angle.

Also, not to project all over Shane (read: absolutely to project), but an important component of my mental health recovery has been "hope"— not hope as a feeling, but hope as an action— as buckling down and trying, even if you're scared or tired or aren't feeling positively about it. You know all those "going on my daily stupid walk for my stupid mental health >:(" memes? To me, that has recovery!Shane vibes. He's grumpy about it, sure, but that just means he's gotta do it grumpy.

And Leah's arc is chock-full of Hope As An Action. Being an artist is a constant struggle of "this thing I am making will not turn out as perfect as it is in my head, and I will make it anyway." Leah often expresses uncertainty about her own level of talent, but she puts herself and her work out there in spite of that, and she gets stronger and more self-assured the more she does it.

(Putting the rest of this under a cut because it got long oops)

What they value in a partner. Leah values someone who's okay with simplicity, who's straightforward and honest (which Shane generally is, when he's not putting up a front to push people away). She also wants someone who will believe in her and respect her, and I think Shane would not only respect her unique traits, but admire them. Having a goal you're passionate about in the first place is awesome, but being willing to fight for it? That takes guts.

I think Shane values honesty, steadfastness, and realism, but also needs someone whose realism is cut with hope and determination instead of pessimism. Also, per earlier discussion, he needs someone who's willing to sit with him at his lowest points instead of trying to fix him. Someone who's independent and can offer support, but who's also good at setting and respecting boundaries.

(Also, while we're on the topic of Things They'd Appreciate About Each Other, I do think Shane would appreciate that Leah is capable of breaking him in half. Like, he passes her chopping firewood on his way to work one day and goes "hope this doesn't awaken anything in me" lmao)

They have similar senses of humor. They both have dry sarcasm vibes to me, with a side of terrible puns. I'm not elaborating on this at all, I just think it's true.

Consider also: Leah hanging out with the ranch family. Found family tropes! Coming over for meals, bringing over a hearty soup when the ranch fam gets sick, coming over to sketch the chickens. (If doodles of Shane end up on her pages more often than the chickens do, well…)

I tend to headcanon Leah as having been through the wringer a bit re: her own mental health post-Kel, so while her situation does differ from Shane's, she does understand facets of what he's going through. And when she needs to vent about Kel, or needs time to process something that's triggered her, Shane's in a similar position— even if he doesn't fully get it, he can still empathize, make space for her, and also sometimes get angry about it with her, which she finds oddly validating.

I can talk about this for hours but I will stop here!!

The main difficulty I see in them getting together is that Shane tends to rebuff people, and Leah would take his "leave me alone" at face value because boundaries are important to her for Personal Reasons (i.e. Kel-related trauma), so they’d need some sort of contrived circumstance to force them to interact with one another long enough that he lets his walls down a bit…

Once he does, though, they'd get along like a house on fire, and I have a giant cardboard box full of contrived circumstances that I'm itching to use on them :)

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAO REAL I can imagine him rolling off his futon and like steamrolling the rest of Team V at night

IM SO READY SHDHSHS your writing gives me life fr

Omg Yukimiya fic….thats true gotta balance out the tabieitaken distribution LOLL I feel like there’s many interesting routes you could go with…if you wanna brainstorm I’ll gladly dump my thoughts out HAHAHA

Oh my the poison dragon how could I forget (I’m NGL the multiple different outcomes of two element combos irked me like wdym I can get flower/poison or blue flame/cold fire???)

LMAOO I love the randomness of smash its so fun I lowk miss playing

Ok im just gonna smack my response to your response on the commentary here so you don’t have to go read separate asks LMAO

SHDHSHSH BRO THE MEET CUTE IM CRYING ok but when I read all the quotes from y/n with the emojis I’m imagine that like bang/boom sound from the vine soundboard LMAOOOOOO the “you have a stupid name” one is especially funny HAHAHAH

Bro the “I want you to belong to me” SOLD ME LIKE >>>>> I love it sm I love the flavor it brings *chefs kiss*

OOOOOOOOH I’m buckled in guys I’m so ready for ~10 chapters of gold (also LMAOAOA it’s funny imagine you ballpark 40k words and it ends up doubling like how fwtkac also doubled in length and ended with a 16k final I love it)

Also unrelated but I went back to read hollyhock 1 and then 2 again and in the process passed by your masterlist and decided to read seabird too and WOW (as we’ve discussed) I’m not really a Sae fan but the way you write him makes me wanna be one SHDVSHDH maybe you just sprinkle some sort of magic spice into all of your characterizations that’s by far one of the best versions of Sae I’ve seen written out there the constant “I beat you to paying” was so funny too!!! But yeah honestly I was like ykw it’s 11k words Mira must’ve cooked something again idc if I don’t like Sae we go and lo and behold you indeed cooked LMAOAOA

-Karasu anon

LMAOOO zantetsu and reo get absolutely flattened on the daily 😭 maybe that’s why reo was so insistent on scoring enough goals to get fancy beds 😩

I WILL TAKE YUKI THOUGHTS AT ANY MOMENT!! your requests have lead to greatness in the past so if you have any ideas for him i would not be opposed hehe…i agree there’s def a lot of diff ways to go with him!! truly a very versatile guy

i had to sell so many random dragons in the pursuit of getting like the really rare ones omg 😭 but yeah what they did to the poison dragon is a travesty it is SUCH a cute baby and such an ugly adult??

smash is so fun precisely because it’s so random…like what other game has bowser beating up steve from minecraft yk?? i miss playing as well all of my friends rn are mario kart players which don’t get me wrong mario kart is a blast but sometimes you just want to beat people’s little video game avatars up 😰

PLEASE OMG IT LITERALLY IS LIKE THAT like y/n saying everything completely straight faced like 😐 meanwhile karasu is like 😨😱😓 the whole time…she did not give bro a second to breathe 😫 POOR GUY SHE EVEN MADE FUN OF HIS NAME AS IF HE CHOSE THAT??? he’s lucky she didn’t say anything abt his hair fr

oh i was giggling writing that LMAOAOA…i feel too like it’s also a role reversal almost?? idk the power dynamics between them are so odd because they’re so nuanced based on their societal roles and whatnot and just when you think you have them figured out they throw another wrench in things 😩 but it adds sm more fun and flavor than just “big strong talented protective man and shy weak gentle helpless woman” imo!!

honestly i would not at all be surprised if this ends up being longer 😟 i think it just depends on how in depth i decide to go with the military stuff but honestly the plot i have planned spans several YEARS soooo expect to be in for a ride

OMG SEABIRD AHAHA that was like the first or second request i got for my event (and also ever) so i was really excited to write it even though lowkey i was like “sae 🙁⁉️” i got sooo carried away w it too (as you can tell by the 11k< word count KFJDJD) and it ended up being sm fun!! reader and sae’s relationship (as well as her little brother’s random cameos) was so silly summer cutesy so it rlly fit the vibe considering i wrote it in the end of may/beginning of june. ofc yk how i feel abt sae and the itoshi bros in general but i always try to set aside my biases when writing!! it’s my goal to write stories that you can enjoy regardless of the characters they’re for. and yes i really tried hard to characterize seabird sae as close to how i actually see his manga self!! i think his dry emotionless soccer-brained personality meshed really well w the reader’s which is probably a part of the charm he has in that story!! i’m glad you gave it a chance and ended up liking it though 💖

[charliecarter13]

this is what being bored in math class will do to you kids, dont do it! [please do it youll get so many ideas.. make sure you have a good memory though or a teacher who wont mind if you suddenly start writing stuff down]

now we've gotta think about which ones have the better side effects. time for some brainstorming!:

.3 could result in them needing constant reassurance that theyre here, that people dont secretly hate them. theyll need to be reminded that theyre here and real, and i feel like they would like, space out a lot? and they have to be reminded that they can talk, that people will hear them, so thats how we could incorporate the going non-verbal thing? they think that they cant be heard so they just domt try? they think that its just 'not worth losing their voice if people cant actually hear them.' probably some other things as well.

.4 could result in them having to make sure that people are real and not just made up. theyll probably get freaked out if someone repeats an action a whole lot or repeats the same thing. catchphrases are a demon to them. can also incorporate the going non-verbal thing cause not worth talking to someone if they only give the same, tired responses, why bother speaking?

this is unfinished because im being forced to go outside now, but ill give ideas for .5 soon!

thank you Lmao

[evienyx]

lmao seems like you're becoming an mcyt blogger too. anyway i was wondering what are your thoughts on wilbur??? like the character, i mean

I’m expanding my horizons. I’m an incredibly versatile person.

Anyway, you want my thoughts on Wilbur? Oh, I can give you my thoughts on Wilbur.

First off, I would say that, as a character, Wilbur is probably my second favorite, right behind Techno. My favorites tend to differ from the norm, largely because of the fact that I’m a writer, and I look at everything with a bit of a different lense. Even subconsciously, the first time I watch the streams, I’m analyzing the story and the characters, thinking of ways it could have been improved, and admiring what’s done well.

And, damn, Wilbur’s character is done so well.

His descent into madness was, obviously, terrifying to see, but what’s most interesting about it to me is the fact that he feels so justified throughout it. His character is consistent, and what he wants is also consistent. Wilbur stated in his conversation to Phil that he’s come back multiple times to the button, that he’s almost pressed it so many times. Just that statement, the realization of how many times he’s come close to it, despite everything he’s said to Tommy, despite the way he’s been seemingly all for the revolution now,is terrifying. It’s seemed to us for quite a while now that, through the madness, through the insanity, he does believe that L’Manburg can be taken back.

It’s at this moment, though, in the button room, that the truth slowly dawns. All this time, Wilbur did believe that they could take L’Manburg back.

And, all this time, that hasn’t mattered in the slightest to him.

Win or lose, live or die, Wilbur was going to press that button.

If we ignore the fact that the button was a Chekhov’s gun, if we fully analyze this in character, it’s absolutely groundbreaking.

Because here we see a man who once would have done anything to save L’Manburg, now doing anything to destroy it.

One of the ways Wilbur’s arc over the last few months of story (since the election) can be well-represented is, in my opinion, through observation of his relationship and interactions with Tommy.

More specifically, though, in the way that he uses his power over Tommy, what value he places on Tommy’s wellbeing, and how Tommy views him.

At the L’Manburg election, they’re thick as thieves. They’re brothers, at that point, because in this household we roll with SBI family dynamics. Tommy looks to Wilbur for guidance, and when they lose the election and Schlatt exiles them, they run together. Wilbur calls for Tommy to run, they make sure the other is safe (ignore Wilbur’s death, lmao). They leave L’Manburg together.

When they start Pogtopia, when they start thinking about how they’re going to get their country back, Wilbur tries to cheer Tommy up. He jokes with him, references Tubbox. They brainstorm together, they share ideas. They plan, and they work as equals. Wilbur has Tommy drop the ‘President.’ They’re in this together, and one of them is not above the other, anymore. Wilbur does his best to make sure that Tommy is safe, and that he is as happy as possible in the current situation, despite how dark and dreary their prospects appear to be.

Skip forward a bit, and we come to the announcement of the Manburg Festival. Now, up until this point, the dynamics have been rather consistent since the election. We’ve seen Wilbur rise up and take charge a bit more when necessary, like with Tubbo and the whole double-agent business, but ideas are shared and they treat each other with both respect and love.

When Schlatt is making the announcement, with Wilbur and Tommy looking on from above, Tommy draws back his bow to take the president out, and Wilbur stops him. Tommy listens. Had the roles been reversed, this would not have occurred, but mostly because Tommy wouldn’t have questioned Wilbur’s judgement in the first place. Tommy has complete and utter faith in Wilbur and his decisions at this point. That is the power that Wilbur holds over Tommy. Tommy trusts him. Wilbur uses this power over Tommy to ensure that the outcome of each and every decision they make is optimal, and to make sure that both of them stay safe and the rebellion stays strong. It’s a relationship of faith and trust.

Then, though, the announcement of the festival. And, mainly, the aftermath of the announcement. As they walk through the forest, for the first time, we see Wilbur question his motives. We’ve never seen this before, and neither has Tommy. Wilbur wonders if his morals are correct, or if he’s just been assuming he’s in the right. He decides to be the bad guy, and the relationship with Tommy shifts. The trust and faith that Tommy places in Wilbur is turned right back on him as Wilbur tells Tommy that he’ll never be president. Wilbur uses the relationship that he has with Tommy, uses the subconscious trust Tommy places in him, to manipulate him.

At this point, they are no longer equals. Wilbur no longer values Tommy’s input, as Tommy isn’t on his side on this issue, and Tommy doesn’t share with Wilbur anymore, as the faith is gone. Still, Tommy continues to trust Wilbur, he just doesn’t have faith in him or believe that he’s doing the right thing. Additionally, Wilbur’s care for Tommy’s wellbeing deteriorates a bit, but he still does care. Just... not as much.

The next big shift would be the day of the Manburg Festival.

What is interesting about this day is that it is the one time that Wilbur and Tommy agree on whether or not to blow up Manburg, because, as Tubbo is executed by their ally in a shower of colorful sparks, Tommy calls for Wilbur to blow the place to smithereens. Wilbur’s failure here is one of the best things for the story, but we can talk about that another time.

While the dynamics don’t shift in any notable way at the festival, what with Tommy and Wilbur showing up together, fighting and working together, they do change dramatically after the festival is over.

We can see this mainly with two events: The Pit, and Tommy, Tubbo, and Niki’s talk.

Wilbur is the one who coaxes Tommy into fighting Techno (a fight that, logically, Wilbur knew Tommy would lose). He pushed at Tommy’s emotions, manipulated him, into fighting a battle that he had no hope of winning. Any care he had for Tommy’s wellbeing is out the window at this point. He willingly sent him into the Pit to die.

Additionally, this is the first time that Tommy explains that he isn’t fighting for Wilbur anymore. He fights not for Wilbur, but for vengeance for Tubbo in the pit, and when he talks with Tubbo and Niki, it becomes clear that he no longer has faith in nor trusts Wilbur.

The next turning point comes very soon, when Wilbur is in the button room with Tommy and Quackity.

Tommy convinces Wilbur not to press the button, and Wilbur says that he’ll trust in Tommy for now, and breaks the button down as well.

The thing about this that is most important is that Wilbur is lying, and Tommy doesn’t realize that until it is far too late.

We don’t realize this until much later, but Wilbur didn’t care about what Tommy said. He explained to Phil that, despite his words to Tommy, despite what he claims about trusting Tommy’s plan, he’s still come close to pressing the button again, and again. He doesn’t trust in Tommy’s plan, and even if he does, it doesn’t matter, because Wilbur doesn’t care. He’s going to press that button regardless.

What does come from this, though, is that Tommy begins to trust Wilbur again. He feels like Wilbur cares, like Wilbur has his back. He places Wilbur back as leader, in his mind, and all of these things come to a climax on the day of the battle between Manburg and Pogtopia.

The War for L’Manburg shows the two of them relatively trusting of one another on the field, despite Wilbur’s constant jokes about being the traitor (which we later find out to be true, but that’s not what this is about). Tommy trusts Wilbur on the battlefield, and listens to what he says. They fight together.

Wilbur then places Schlatt’s life into Tommy’s hands. He gives him an incredibly difficult decision to make, plays with Schlatt’s life just to rise conflict within Tommy. It doesn’t matter in the end, but I thought it was interesting to see.

Anyway, Wilbur then places Tommy as president-elect, while Wilbur plans to go and detonate the bombs beneath the country while Tommy speaks of plans to rebuild. Then, though, Tommy calls Wilbur president again, and Wilbur renames the country before passing it off to Tubbo.

Wilbur had called Tommy up to the podium to speak, right where a large part of the bombs were placed. His intent was for Tommy to speak there while Wilbur pressed the button and blew the country sky-high, with Tommy at the center of it all.

Any care Wilbur once had for Tommy’s wellbeing is gone, and nothing makes that more apparent than his attempted appointment of Tommy to the presidency, where he would have been in the most danger as he gave a speech while standing on a minefield, facing a crowd containing a man who lived only for chaos and another who vowed to watch the country burn to the ground along with any government that may wish to form.

We can see, as well, the moment Tommy realizes what’s going to happen. We can see when he begins calling for people to find Wilbur, muttering “no” as he searches desperately, and then screaming as his worst fears are realized and his brother Wilbur blows everything that he’s ever worked for into nothing more than a crater.

Wilbur’s character development, his arc, his consistency, is incredible to watch. It’s one of the most impressive things of the entire Dream SMP story (which, honestly, isn’t much of a surprise, since Wilbur’s been directing it this whole time, anyway). There are so many more things that I could say about this, but this post is long enough, so I’m gonna end it here.

I’m always up to rambling about Dream SMP things, especially analyzing characters, plot, motivations, and the like.

I’m a nerd, sue me.

[levi-supreme]

Hey Rei! Anon here!

I wanted to talk about this post. I won't tag the person who made it, but I was interested in your opinion on it. They bring up a great point in their tags as well.

I know for me I get really drained from writing. Not because I feel it's a chore, but writing, reading, editing, rereading and writing again can get quite exhausting and I feel that I don't even really want to read anyone's work after that.

This extends to me struggling to read other's writing who normally I might read, but can no longer do just because of being tired of words.

Anyway, I was wondering if you or other people felt this way as well since the post does have a lot of notes. Happy Tuesday!

Hi!!!!! Sorry I took so long to answer this T.T I'll answer below the cut because I'm prone to verbal diarrhoea lol!

A little background info, I started reading fanfics since 15 or 16, and I read loads of fanfics written of/about kpop idols (character x character, character x oc), Harry Potter (mainly Ronmione, AU, and canon-divergence), Digimon Adventure (the original 1998 characters hehe), and Final Fantasy (Cloti for life!!!!).

I wrote my first BTS fanfic in 2016, I write kny fics but I did not post any, and I only started writing for snk (specifically Levi) in 2021 after mustering the courage and getting over the shyness and anxiety lol.

I consider myself as a reader more than a writer because I don't think I'm good enough to be called a fanfic writer haha. Still, I'll give my comments in two parts. First as a writer, and next as a reader!

As a writer

I totally get what you mean!! Like, the constant brainstorming, writing, planning, and editing, it burns people out, and I feel like that too. Sometimes I feel like I am in the right headspace to write. But when I open up my Google docs, my drive suddenly just goes away.

And sometimes as a writer, I feel like I don't want to read fanfics for mainly two reasons:

1. I don't want to remember what I read in others fics and accidentally use it in my own fics.

Unfortunately my memory is pretty good lol, and I don't want to remember a scene, a line, or an idea that I read from a fic, and accidentally use it in my own writing.

And seeing as how I literally only write for Levi, and I tend to read more Levi x reader fics, I never ever want to risk the chance of me liking and remembering something that I've read, and then using it when I'm writing my own fics. I know to most this is just a small thing, but to me I feel like this is something that I should avoid in order to give that fic writer the respect and credit for writing something so good.

2. I don't want to read other people's writings and inadvertently compare it to my own.

I'm not sure about you, but despite the cheerful, friendly, sweet image I may give off to all of you, I'm actually very self-conscious and feel very inferior in terms of writing. I always have this feeling that my writing sucks, I'm mediocre, and no one likes what I'm writing.

Of course confidence is something that needs to be built and it takes time. But then, I don't want to read works of other writers (especially those that have a good number of audience/have really good 'representative' writings/are what you call the more 'popular' writers) and then comparing it to my own writing, because I know I will unknowingly tell myself "lmao haha you can't write something as good as that can you?"

And also, I feel like if I have a certain idea that I want to write, but I already see it being written, I'll feel demoralised to write it. I will think that oh, people might compare my writing to someone else's, and obviously mine going to be the inferior one.

As a reader

Also, I don't know about you, but I feel like fanfiction has changed a lot. Or maybe, it's because I've grown up and the type of fics I enjoy reading are now different.

Back when I was still an avid kpop fan, the amount of fanfics I've read were SO many, and they're all in different genres and AUs. Coffee shop au, spy au, police/mafia au, office au, magic au, super power au, canon-divergent, etc.

Yes these tropes are still being used in writing for anime fanfiction, but it just feels so... different? Like, the fics I read about a kpop character x oc/Ronmione/Cloti/Squinoa (Squall x Rinoa from FFVIII) feels so different from those written for anime characters.

But as a reader, I feel like these are the reasons why I don't see myself reading a lot of fanfiction nowadays.

1. The fics are chaptered/long fics are time consuming.

I'm not saying they're bad, I actually LOVE long fics. But then, I feel like I need to be in the right time to properly read them because just like reading a book, I want to be able to read these chaptered/long fics without distractions.

I feel like since these chaptered/long fics are like reading a book, I want to really enjoy the writing and imagery, so if I'm not in the correct 'mood' I find myself unable to focus and enjoy the fic as much as I want to.

2. There's nothing I like available.

I don't know about you, but I'm aversive to a lot of dark content and popular tropes. For one I really don't like the daddy kink, sugar daddy/baby kink, stepcest. I also can't stand like any rough play/three or more some/sex pollen and more. Yup. I know I am very vanilla. But do I care? Lmao no. It's my preference and it's who I am.

I love reading fluff and the occasional hurt/comfort and smut, but somehow that's about it. And I'm not bashing anyone, but there's so many fics with dark content, and then resulting in me having nothing to read. Of course the writers are free to produce whatever content they want. It's for their audience who love those tropes and ideas, but I just happen to not be one of them.

So, it just ends up with me not having that many things to read eventually, and somehow I just re-read old stuff that I really enjoy.

3. I have no time.

I mean... like okay yes it's an obvious answer, but I really don't have the time? Shift work (12hrs and above) is a pain in my ass, and I have to study too, and fulfill my duties as a daughter and as a girlfriend. WHERE TO FIND THE TIME???? I don't even have a lot of time to sleep lmao, don't talk about reading fanfics haha.

Bringing back to point 1, I can read like short fics but when it comes to anything 5k words and above I'm like "Okay let's kiv this first I'll read it again next time" and therefore, I have too many fics tagged under my 'save for later' tag T.T

I don't know if I answered your ask or not anon I'm so sorry if I didn't, and I made you read through paragraphs of crap.

And also disclaimer: I'm not spilling the tea on anyone, and these are just my own thoughts and opinions. Please also remember that I am actually very pessimistic and inferior, and I really tend to always think of the bad stuff first before the good lol, which may make me sound really cynical and negative here.

And if you've read until here, thank you for standing by my verbal diarrhoea <3

[lgcrp]

GREETINGS, LGC SUPERSTARS!

we are officially ONE ! to celebrate the occasion we come bearing gifts !!! everyone who is in the roleplay as of today will receive freebie points as follows:

ACTOR / MUSICAL ACTOR MUSES : +20 ACTING ; +6 NOTORIETY

BAND MUSES : +20 PRIMARY INSTRUMENT ; +6 NOTORIETY

ENTERTAINER MUSES : +10 HOSTING / MCING ; +10 VARIETY ; +6 NOTORIETY

MODEL MUSES : +20 MODELING ; +6 NOTORIETY

PRODUCER MUSES : +10 COMP ( MUSIC ) ; +10 COMP ( LYRICS ) ; +6 NOTORIETY

ALL OTHERS : +20 PERFORMING ; +6 NOTORIETY

if you’re confused about what your muse has received, you can also check out the spreadsheet here. please let us know if there are any errors ! and also, you can link directly to this post or the linked spreadsheet as proof of points in your own spreadsheets !

below the cut we have messages from each of our admod staff !!! thank you all again for a wonderful first year ! we love you !!!

from admin l (el):

her message will come in the next post !!!

from admin * (kristin):

“wow! one year! funny how time passes so fast, huh? so much has happened in this past year: i graduated college, landed my first full-time job—not to forget the whole pandemic, too. but lgc’s always been the constant throughout these big changes in my life, and i’ve never been more grateful. i think i speak for a lot of people when i say that roleplaying, like any other hobby, is less about the actual roleplaying and more about the community—i mean, don’t get me wrong, i love my characters and the development i’ve had with them since their creation, but there’s just something about lgc that’s the reason i’m excited to log onto this terrible website everyday: and it’s you guys. i’ve been in the krp community since 2012, and it’s sad to see that it’s devolved into having more downs than ups throughout the years. i can’t remember that last time i stayed in a roleplay for more than a month or two, nor the last time i’ve created online friendships and connections as strong as i have here. i’ve been a member longer than i’ve been an admod, so believe me when i say: so whether you’ve just joined us or you’ve been here since the beginning, thank you. thank you so much for fostering such a welcoming and fun environment for everyone here. thank you to always bring such love and creativity to the dash, and thank you for constantly inspiring me. thank you for the excitement and the commitment, and thank you for understanding when i spend more than two months replying to a thread (lol). thank you for giving me and the rest of the admod your trust to ensure that our atmosphere’s only further expanded upon, not erased, and thank you for all the suggestions on how to make lgc a better place. it’s important to remember that lgc wouldn’t be what it is today without our members, so this anniversary is as much of achievement for us as it is for y’all. we have so much in store for this group—we promise, we’re not going anywhere!—and i personally want to honor the torch leo and ori have passed onto me as the new graphics admin. expect bigger and better things, lgc. it’s only the beginning!”

from admin g (grace):

"how has it already been one year since we’ve opened??? it feels like just yesterday when the three of us decided that we wanted to go through with opening up a new roleplay. i’ve admined many roleplays in the past, but usually, that initial lull of getting apps or the disinterest that ends up plaguing many roleplays in the early months has always left me disenchanted at the whole thing that i give up even before the six month mark so to hit such a milestone is really something remarkable for me. needless to say, it’s also just been amazing for me to be working with such a dream team who really fill in the areas in which i lack. however, at the end of the day, we also wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for all of you members. without you, lgc simply wouldn’t exist. thank you for helping this place thrive. thank you for always being excited about the events that we plan. thank you for being so willing to share your thoughts and ideas ( we’ve had so many wonderful events come to life because of our members’ suggestions and we’re always excited to receive more of those that we can incorporate ). from the moment we started brainstorming about this place, our vision has been for lgc to be an interactive community that would be shaped by its members and less by us as admins. we hope you’re able to see that vision come to life, and we know that we might be lacking still, but we hope to continue to refine our systems so that we can allow for more of that. finally, thank you all for loving my muses as well and for being so willing to plot with them. i know i’ve also been personally overwhelmed lately that i haven’t been able to plot with everyone, but i hope one day that my muses will get to meet all of yours. thank you again to all of you ( and also to all of those who have passed through lgc in this last year! ). love you all!”

from mod a ( cloud ):

one year already?? i’ve been in this rp for almost half of that and a lot has changed in those months! from joining the rp around march to becoming a mod, i have to say that it has been a pretty crazy journey! during my time in lgc, the one thing that always impresses me time and time again is the community that has been created and developed during the past twelve months. from a mun standpoint, it warms my heart knowing that the community is so welcoming towards each other. every time a new ( or returning ) muse is being brought to this lovely community, i love seeing how engaging and friendly the members are. not only that but there are also the posts that i see on the dash and while it can be a lot to go through sometimes, it’s reassuring knowing that people are willing to take the time to participate in these events and develop their muses! to me, these elements are what makes lgc what it is today and i hope that this continues in the future as well! i know that there are a lot of people i want to thank for but at the end of the day, there are two groups that i want to give my shoutouts to. the first is the admod team because they have entrusted me with this role and even though it’s only been a few weeks since i was appointed as a mod, i can attest to the amount of passion and hard work the whole team has with making sure that everyone has the best experience possible! i know that we can’t be a perfect rp, but we really do appreciate all of the feedback that has been given to us since that is what motivates us to become better. and ofc my second shoutout is to all of the members ( both past and present )! thank you for the support and effort you have given to the admod team! whether it’s posting on the dash to reading your reactions to the events, we appreciate all of that! i hope that this rp continues to prosper for many more years and once again, HAPPY ONE YEAR, LGC! 🎉

from admin c ( marie ):

“one year. it might not seem like a lot to some of you guys but when we created this project we didn’t even expect to last until christmas and that’s if we even got enough members to open. even though we’ve always planned for the long haul we didn’t think we’d be writing a first anniversary message in 2020. what a year, right? so many events happened both within our small community and in the outside world. i won’t lie, legacy requires a lot of work, organization and dedication. but we’re proud when we see you guys participate in everything with so much enthusiasm. i wanted to write a long and touching message but i can’t really find the proper words right now so i’ll just leave it as simple as possible. thank you for trusting us, for investing time and energy in your wonderful character, for choosing us and sticking around, for sending suggestions on events you’d like to see, for being respectful of us and the other members too. we could work our hardest and none of this would be possible without you guys interacting with it and being excited about it. thank you for being patient and understanding with us, and for taking minutes of your time each week to read all of the new events because we truly don’t give you any rest i’ll admit that LMAO. we’ve always wanted for lgc to be a peaceful, fun and stimulating writing environment for everyone and we hope we were able to be that for some of you. we’re still lacking and by no means perfect but we’ve always tried our best and will keep doing so for as long as you guys are on board with us ( or until we get a life maybe idk hghgjfdk ). i don’t know what the future holds but no matter what, i can say i’m proud of this project and how it turned out, not only with the admod team ( past and present ) but with every single person who helped build this place by just becoming a part of our community. i love you all and look forward to see your muses grow in the upcoming year!”

from mod y ( lissa ):

“thank you for putting your faith in us. words can never describe how much we appreciate you guys. ily all. thank you for putting your faith in us. words can never describe how much we appreciate you guys. ily all. thank you for putting your faith in us. words can never describe how much we appreciate you guys. ily all. thank you for putting your faith in us. words can never describe how much we appreciate you guys. ily all. thank you for putting your faith in us. words can never describe how much we appreciate you guys. ily all. thank you for putting your faith in us. words can never describe how much we appreciate you guys. ily all. thank you for putting your faith in us. words can never describe how much we appreciate you guys. ily all. thank you for putting your faith in us. words can never describe how much we appreciate you guys. ily all. thank you for putting your faith in us. words can never describe how much we appreciate you guys. ily all. thank you for putting your faith in us. words can never describe how much we appreciate you guys. ily all. thank you for putting your faith in us. words can never describe how much we appreciate you guys. ily all. thank you for putting your faith in us. words can never describe how much we appreciate you guys. ily all. thank you for putting your faith in us. words can never describe how much we appreciate you guys. ily all. thank you for putting your faith in us. words can never describe how much we appreciate you guys. ily all. thank you for putting your faith in us. words can never describe how much we appreciate you guys. ily all.“

[thekidultlife]

IT'S OUR 2ND ANNIVERSARY! 🎉🥳🥂

@Authors' Note: This is Leanne and Hyeri's story. Please bear with us as we try to reminisce over the past years and celebrate where we are now as writers, as friends, and most especially, as individuals who have grown a lot and changed a lot through the years.

Warnings: Contains a semi-reveal of what we actually look like in real life lol so if you’re interested, keep reading down lol.

We started this blog in 2017. We deactivated in 2018, just weeks before what was supposed to be our first anniversary. We stayed silent throughout the rest of 2018 and 2019, but we picked up where we left off this 2020. Despite the messy history of this blog, though, and the changes in our lives, we are extremely happy that we did come back. And the reason why we came back? Well, it’s pretty simple. 

The same love for SEVENTEEN, which made us start this blog, brought us back again.

We’re not lying when we tell you that this blog was what made us closer and what our friendship grow deeper. 

Back then, we were just classmates who found common interests in each other (history, writing novels, analyzing politics, and being one of the ‘Big 3′ in our class lol) but didn’t know how to bond over these interests. But when we both started sharing a room in a dormitory close to our university in 2017, things changed. And things changed because we both found SEVENTEEN. 

LEANNE: I wasn’t really a K-pop fan during that time. But I remember sitting beside Hyeri at our study area, watching her as she watched DWC and thinking to myself, “Maybe this could be it. Maybe this could be the ‘thing’ that we could bond over and could make our friendship grow. And so I leaned over and asked, “Oooh, which group is that?” What followed then was a night where I became a convert, and SVT became a part of me forever. 

After that night, we found ourselves always talking about them because they became the thread that made us close. And while bonding over SVT, we started to become more open about our lives and about ourselves in terms of personalities. We didn’t know why but we just clicked. Before we started becoming really close, we had different sets of friends. But then, we just knew that our friendship was different because we truly understand each other. 

HYERI: I wasn't a Kpop stan before either. Like if my high school me knew I'd become like this, she'll cringe in embarrassment. But it happened. A friend recommended me to watch React to the K because I'm a huge classical music nut, and I discovered Seventeen there. I seriously can't remember that exact moment when Leanne asked, but I do remember that one time when I showed her the dance practice for Aju Nice. It was one of the first things I showed to her, and then without knowing, we've already watched a lot of Seventeen videos. 

Whenever I look back at that time, I just remember how happy we were even though it wasn't really a good moment in our lives. There were a lot of stress and problems, and everything just seemed to spiral down from there. But I just feel a warm feeling in my chest whenever July and August comes, I smell the rain, and remember how many nights we spent binging on Seventeen, talking inside the nearby 7/11 until 1am, knowing that classes were cancelled the next day because of the weather. It was truly a magical moment for me because I never had a friend like Leanne, like sometimes we just have the same thought patterns, and we bonded over Seventeen so much. We would just talk endlessly about them, brainstorming ideas for fics and so on to the point that we only stopped because the 5AM alarm went off lmao Those times were just absolutely incredible.

LEANNE: We also have kind of the same goal back then: to have a platform where we could practice writing. Hyeri suggested that we try creating a blog for fanfiction. I agreed because I truly wanted to try and I was so obsessed with Choi Seungcheol back then. So we planned our first fics, who posts first, and we created it. Just like that. On August 12, 2017, we made our first post.

Our first name was “diabolically-diamondiferous”. We wanted something different (and we now admit that we did go overboard with the bing different thing lol) and so we agreed that this would be our URL. We chose it because of the concept that there is a duality in this blog that readers should look forward to, a dynamic that they would only see here, I guess? That was the goal. That was how it all started. 

HYERI: I was a Wonwoo stan back then. I had already written Love is A Fallacy and a bit of 30 Nights before we even created the blog, and I wanted an avenue where I can post it. I admit I myself can't think of a better url than "diabolically-diamondiferous", so I just went with it. 

Honestly, the blog has helped me a lot with writing. I used to write anime fanfictions and original stories, and I've already established my style back then. This blog has really helped me a lot with refining my writing style and experimenting with new ideas and ways to tell a story, as well as being able to write quickly. I do think I've improved with my dialogues and the way I pace my stories, and make them feel organic. And with that, I've never realized I've already written a lot, until I arranged the masterlist recently.

What began with a few stories turned into hundreds as we started pouring our hearts into this blog. And we would be lying if we told you that it was pressure-free. 

LEANNE: During this time, my responsibilities at uni, family and other personal matters made me unable to focus on the blog a lot. I really feel sorry for Hyeri during this time because she was the one who was more consistent with posting her stories. I joke every now and then these days whenever she couldn’t write that it’s okay, you once had too much weight and now I’ll carry my share and more, too, if it gets hard for you. Even though I was busy with other things, however, Hyeri really pulled through and made this blog come alive. And as a friend, she really helped me get through my darkest moments. This blog, too, became my crutch. Whenever my heart got broken, I would write here. I would try to find my voice (and at that time, I couldn’t find myself, either. Just ask Hyeri why, lol.) in writing. I was experimenting what voice I had while writing and what genre fits me. 

HYERI: Following Leanne's, I guess after our trip to Korea, things became way harder. I had a lot of low points back then as well: losing my scholarship and just so much responsibility in life and at school. I did carry much of the weight of the blog after that semester, and I'm surprised how I managed to do that. I kept on badgering Leanne to finish some requests, but she really had a lot going on as well. Not to mention our plans to join an exchange program to Korea which was another hell we signed up for. It was extra difficult because our department doesn't want us to leave, thinking we're just running away from the strict (and often unfair) professors (ironic when our major is International Relations).Seventeen and this blog was the only way we could bond together and have fun and just forget about everything. I could remember sending each other fake messages from Seventeen just to cheer the other up when things get depressing, or imagining what it would feel like to be an idol and whatnot. It sounds silly now, but that was the only way we could cope with how intense and exhausting our lives were. It was the only thing that kept the constant dread in our nerves from taking over.

What began as an experimental way to boost creativity became something like a career, and steering our motivation, was of course, the boys. Our boys. The amazing people that we write about and that we imagine about. They made us happy during the times when there was nothing to be happy about. They made us take risks that brought out the braveness we didn’t know we had in us, and they made us feel hopeful about the future. 

However, we hit a hurdle we couldn’t bring ourselves back from hurdle after hurdle during our second semester as juniors in college.  

LEANNE: Second semester of junior year in college was really hard for me. The bottom line of it all was the manipulative relationship that I was in with my s/o back then, but a lot of things piled up as well: school responsibilities (I was handling three classes at one point as a professor’s assistant and then ran for a student government position I didn’t really want but felt obliged to). All the while this was happening, I was really feeling myself slip away. I was suffering from depression but I had a lot of things going on around me that I could not just drop because people were depending on me. The only way I thought I would be able to not give up is by going somewhere else to finish my studies. Yes, the environment got that toxic. I really needed to get away. Around this time, I wasn’t active on the blog anymore. Right after elections, I lost my motivation to do anything. I would sometimes pitch in to help Hyeri with some requests, but it took way more effort than I thought it would. 

Hyeri and I decided that we needed to take the risk of applying for the South Korean exchange program, which was one of the best that our uni had to offer. We figured that since our grades were okay, it would be easy. Boy were we wrong.

HYERI: The Coldest Human, The Warmest Robot was the last fic I've posted in the blog before the hiatus. I couldn't do it anymore. There were so many problems and issues with the exchange program that I could no longer handle the blog alone. Leanne had withdrawn too, considering how she has her own things to face as well. It was a really difficult time. After being rejected a visa, I just can't think of writing, or even Seventeen anymore. Just their presence seemed to only remind me that I had been rejected after months and months of preparation. Their songs only reminded me of our disappointments. It was awful and I knew I can't face them at that time. I found myself in Taiwan. Alone. Leanne had stayed and it was depressing. I had to move on despite that, but it felt like an empty success.

We planned to become a part of an exchange program in South Korea, but it didn’t pull through at the last minute. We had staked all our bets, and we lost motivation in a lot of things. One of those things was this blog. We just knew that we had to let it go during 2018, because it was impossible to maintain it when you don’t feel inspired about life anymore. 

HYERI: The Coldest Human, The Warmest Robot was the last fic I've posted in the blog before the hiatus. I couldn't do it anymore. There were so many problems and issues with the exchange program that I could no longer handle the blog alone. Leanne had withdrawn too, considering how she has her own things to face as well. It was a really difficult time. After being rejected a visa, I just can't think of writing, or even Seventeen anymore. Just their presence seemed to only remind me that I had been rejected after months and months of preparation. Their songs only reminded me of our disappointments. It was awful and I knew I can't face them at that time. I found myself in Taiwan. Alone. Leanne had stayed and it was depressing. I had to move on despite that, but it felt like an empty success. Right after going back home for winter vacation, I remember I was angry crying because I knew Leanne can't do anything because of her circumstances, even if she wanted to go to Taiwan so much.

LEANNE: I was miserable during first semester as a senior because everything did not go as planned. I was really losing the resolve to keep going on because nothing had gone the way I had planned it to be. I think the only silver lining during 2018 was that my parents and friends finally stepped in to protect me from the person who had been harming me emotionally and therefore affecting my self-esteem and resolve. We also went to Macau, where I really healed a lot as well while teaching music with close friends from church. But beyond that, I could see no other way to get through the last semester except to follow Hyeri and go to Taiwan. It wasn’t just her friendship that I was missing; it was also about that goal I had in my mind: to find peace and quiet away from everything that had hurt me and drained me.

We didn’t have any high hopes about what lay ahead, but the biggest plot twist came.

LEANNE: By some miracle, I managed to convince my parents that I was well enough to go to Taiwan and that I would be safer there. It all happened so fast. February I was still crying, standing at the train tracks, telling our other friend that I wanted to just end it. But then March came and my visa got approved on a Friday. Three days later, just packing whatever I had with me in my apartment, I left for Taiwan.

It was a miracle Hyeri and I still talk about a lot. We started to heal from everything that we had gone through. We started to re-explore our friendship and in the end, after so much drama and after so much challenges, we finally concluded that this friendship of ours was really something that we wanted to keep forever. We grew a lot through the years.

HYERI: Who would've thought that with a lot of begging and pleading and praying, Leanne was finally able to go to Taiwan. I was so happy. It was one of the happiest memories of my life so far. Being in Taiwan, away from the world, from the responsibilities back at home, it was such a liberating time.It was also the exact period which we started to heal from past disappointments. Seventeen no longer gave me the pain I used to feel, and to this day, You Made My Day---the album which was released before everything happened, and reminded me a lot of what had transpired---is one of my favourite Seventeen albums.

But here we are now, in 2020. It was really because of Hit the Road that we decided to come back. We agreed to start writing again come June 2020. We started doing what we loved again. 

HYERI: We had fully healed from everything and we're fully ready to come back to writing about our precious boys! I am so happy to be able to finally celebrate the actual anniversary for this blog!

LEANNE: And now, here we are, celebrating our anniversary! The first one we really had! This is all impromptu editing but we really wanted to make it special. 

Highlights Throughout the Years:

💎 Love is A Fallacy (Lawyer!Wonwoo)

The first ever fic I've written for SVT. I remember I wrote this while I was at the dorm on my bed, it was a miraculously stress-free night. The song I kept on playing was "20" and I could imagine it being the OST if this was a kdrama 😂 This was at a time when Wonwoo was still my bias.

💎Adagio Cantabile (College Student!Jihoon)

A fic I first wrote after Jihoon became my bias. I could still remember, I was so inspired by a fic titled Customer Satisfaction, that I wrote this one. Plus I'm really into Classical Music, that I could just write one whole fic about it. I'm still amazed how we were able to write fanfiction even though we were swamped with school work, and I mean, SWAMPED, like a lot of exams, graded recitation, things to memorize, super long essays, but we still managed to write. 😂

💎Saffron (Victorian AU DK)

This was written shortly after Leanne and I went back from Korea. I was so blissfully happy back then. I think I've spent a night or two writing this. This was heavily inspired by the game "Chocolatier" which I was playing days before I've started writing 😂 I really love writing for DK, he's such a positively innocent character who was so endearing.

💎The Coldest Human; Warmest Robot (Android!Jihoon)

This was probably the last one shot I've posted before the hiatus in 2018. I remember finishing it in my hometown when we went there for summer vacation. It was a really bad time ngl I lost my scholarship and was supposed to go to an exchange program to South Korea with Leanne. Back I didn't know if I could support that dream financially.

💎The Most Convenient Escape (Soulmate!Jihoon)

This was the first fic I've written after the hiatus. Truthfully, over 2018-2019, I lost my love for SVT. It was painful to be reminded of the fact that we weren't able to go to Korea, so I avoided them while I was in Taiwan. But I came back around this year and started to write this one. It's heavily inspired by the book "Voices of the Past" which is a compilation of American newspaper articles over the years, and anime reviews which talked about Deconstructing a genre (i.e., Madoka Magica and Evangelion). Right now I really do want to finish this series.

Highlights Throughout the Years

💎The Return of Superman Series

My first work, TROS Seungcheol, was the first fic in the entire blog that I was truly proud of. All my other works were too rushed, too experimental for my own taste even, and just doesn’t look like what I, Leanne, if you personally know me, would write about. I strongly believe that there is a unique voice in each story, a voice that belongs only to its writer, and back then, I was still trying to find that voice. The Return of Superman was my breakthrough in writing. I suddenly found an AU that I truly loved to write about, and, most importantly, my voice in writing.

💎After-Party, Only Us, and Afterglow | Yoon Jeonghan

This is the spin-off series that came from Yoon Jeonghan’s The Return of Superman. I started to become more comfortable in my style of writing as I wrote these. You will notice a change of style after the first part, “After-Party”. My writing style has matured, and I really congratulate myself a lot for that. It took me years and tons of experiences to get that flavor I had always wanted in my works! Haha. 

💎The And Series

This is another one of those imagines that really brought out the hopeless romantic inside me, and for that, I am proud of it. It’s still mostly in the works, but I  am really happy about how it’s turning out.

💎Through the Seasons Series

Ah, this is my pet project. All my heart is poured into this one. This is the first series that I truly explored the beauty of love in realistic settings. My writing process here is done by looking at real couples LOL and also tapping into beautiful memories of mine about love and about life and all the drama that comes along. I’m really glad that a lot of our new readers liked the first one that came out!

Our story-time ends here. 

All in all, we just want to say thank you. Thank you for everything. For being with us through this crazy ride of a blog, truly, sincerely, thank you. From our followers since the beginning, to the new ones that we are finding joy in communicating with now, thank you. From the bottom of our hearts!

LET’S MAKE MORE MEMORIES TOGETHER!

- Leanne and Hyeri. 

[misdre]

turns out that there’s MORE questions to this meme! (here’s the first part!) so i’m gonna fill the rest with.....themst

16. One thing one character likes about their partner just one thing! that's silly! i'll consider this in the sense of the FIRST thing they like about each other. max's cheerfulness is already charming of course but i'd imagine what really gets rei is how smart and observant he actually is under that bubbly surface.

17. Now one thing that the other character likes about the first chara the first thing max notices is that rei has beautiful hair is STRONK

18. Who confessed? i don't think i have one definite headcanon about that. depends on my mood how it turns out but in canonverse i'm rather fond of the hc that neither actually confesses because it's not needed

19. How long did they know each other before getting together? again canonically speaking, i'd want them to be a little older so maybe four years or so. but i have fics that go way faster

20. Who's the ship's biggest in-universe supporter? i have this headcanon that kai is like a silent supporter who always knows What Up before the others even know themselves. and then max's dad tbh

21. Any rivals for the ship? well. i mean. considering that rei/mao is a canon ship that exists, that's just the setting it inevitably comes down to although i just consider it a separate reality of my own canonverse headcanons. it's also something i use in fics sometimes like anyone reading 4kingdoms knows, although i'm not even a fan of love triangles but i mean, can't skip the delicious drama tbh. in the music fic i'm writing rn there's also a kind of a rick/max thing going on that rei's not happy about

22. Any mutual friends? HMM!

23. Have they met each other's families? well we know rei has met max's in canon.. but then... well yes i'd think max would meet rei's parents since he'd inevitably want to visit rei's home village at some point

24. What's one conflict they've had? i honestly don't remember rn if they've had any conflict in canon. neither is really the type to get worked up easily. even when they fought each other they just had fun with it. love these dumbasses. anyway their main source of conflict is how max wants to pour mayo on every food rei makes

25. What's one way they've resolved a conflict? probably a bey battle tbh

26. What's one location that's important to them? i've actually written a fic about the training room they meet at to leave together in the beginning of g-revolution

27. What's one object that's important to them? dunno if i care about this question much. naming an object for both feels silly

28. What's one food/beverage that's important to them? can definitely imagine they like stuffing themselves together but i don't have any specific food headcanon, their tastes probably clash tbh

29. What's one thing they do in their free time together? blading--- i think they'd enjoy anything sports-related in general. maybe they go hiking and swimming together. that cute

30. What's one thing they do in their free time apart? they both meditate but prefer to do it apart. i drew a comic about that once. that was more like it's just rei who wants to do it apart though because max gets too touchy feely

31. Whats one thing character A might gift their partner? going with rei first again. i'd imagine max is incredibly easy to get gifts for, he's the kind to be excited about anything as long as it's a surprise. usually rei gives him something food-related because he on the other hand is not very imaginative

32. What's one thing character A's partner might gift back? max likes creating things with his own hands and giving those as gifts. sometimes they're ugly af but rei pretends they're great

33. How would they react to long distance? it's harder for max but ultimately they probably react pretty well since they've been spending time apart before as well without it affecting their friendship

34. How would they react to an ex showing up? TOO YOUNG FOR EXES!!! but in the scenario that they date other people before actually getting together: max is a bit clingy in general so he might actually have some jealousy issues about it. rei is very calm but he's also very sensitive so maybe he'd be the same but with the difference that max has no issues expressing his feelings freely while rei tries to act mature and like things don't bother him when they actually do.

35. Describe one date i feel like their dates wouldn't be very date-like in the traditional sense. it's just they go do stuff together. especially in that favourite scenario of mine where there's never even really a confession and they just sort of smoothly slide from being friends to being together, they'd go on "dates" that neither actually realises are dates

36. Describe one example of comforting after a bad day well that would require a whole fic. considering how often rei loses in canon, he probably has a whole lot more of bad days and max is probably the best person in the world at comforting others. like one big hug from him and nobody can remain depressed. actually i like exploring the opposite more since max also falls harder when he's having dark moments and rei can be king of awkward sometimes. i'm not even answering these questions i'm just sort of brainstorming things somewhat related to them

37. Describe one reunion after time apart there are enough reunions in canon (even though they don't focus on the boys' feelings about it whatsoever) also pretty sure the fic i already linked above was about a reunion

38. Describe their ideal home in their case i gotta say they probably are Stereotypical Guys in the sense that i can't imagine them caring much about making a home. neither even has a static concept of home so i think they'd actually travel around together and live here and there (just that max is a whole lot more picky about the quality of these places than rei who can probably sleep anywhere)

39. Describe their first kiss an unfair question! one of my favourite passtimes is constantly coming up with new scenarios of their first kiss. just read some fic of mine for one version

40. Describe their first time likewise but this i haven't written into a fic yet. too bad. basically my two constants are that either a) things just sort of escalate after some sort of emotional high like them winning a tournament or whatever (even better if they don't even make it out of the tournament area. so swept by the moment) or b) max is the one who initiates things (also first kiss) because rei is an awkward mess

41. Would they have any pets? probably not for the same no static home reason, though max would probably want a dog (but rei probably doesn't like dogs since. he's. a cat)

42. Would they get married? nah that's really hard for me to imagine. don't even know which country they could get married in, the US??

43. Would they have any kids? no. let's not talk about the fact that i have designed a kid for them

44. Give each character a colour max orange, rei purple lmao

45. Give each character an element they literally are water and metal

46. Give each character a Pokemon shuckle for max, mienfoo/mienshao for rei

47. Give each character a Hogwarts house ravenclaw for max and gryffindor for rei

48. Give each character a super power i have given them! magic powers in 4kingdoms. max basically has waterbending abilities and can turn invisible and create a shield around himself. rei is gonna have all sorts of powers later on but his base power is being able to sense other people's auras

49. Give each character an rpg class rei would be either a warrior or maybe a monk in the martial arts sense, and max would be a mage with shield magic like he has in my 4kingdoms (maybe healing magic also and stuff)

50. Imagine each as an animal that's not very difficult

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Debuff Zane Build

i am tired of not seeing this build in all the zane build videos i watch so im sharing it here because its stupid fun bc u run fast and kill faster. it’s not meta, but its fun as fuck and u have a lot of damage and survivability with it. I’ve completed M4 Slaughter Shaft with it- haven’t tried on M10 yet but i have faith. p.s its 4 am pls have mercy if there’s spelling mistakes.

what ur gonna need is a band of sitorak, zheitseiv’s eruption, a seein’ dead, and the piss grenade. everything else is fair game, whatever u want. try to get it to have the sntl cryo anoint bc good. but u must have the 4 main items for this to work perfectly (it also somewhat works with a low level Frozen Heart bc best shield in the game but you will die a lot more)

also i need a fucking name for this build help

oh god oh fuck i forgot i was playing through the handsome jackpot dlc again

oki im ready to party

this is my current loadout

sometimes i switch the reg Q-System for a kaoson or a nighthawkin if i need ammo (OP QSystem is... OP but not as fun as a tracking grenade QSystem so i don’t care for it) and maybe the brainstormer for a reflux if many shielded enemies (i prefer the brainstormer over the reflux atm. so try for a brainstormer!!)

3rd slot, that’s a monarch which used to be a dictator b4 it got a straight upgrade. I actually don’t use the bipod unless im in a boss fight and don’t need to move fast. usually violent momentum and violent violence cover the dps loss

ur first 3 gun slots honestly don’t matter much. I have my reasons for using them, but you can use whatever u want i think, so long as its a strong weapon (bc unfortunately a lot of weapons are not scaled for m10). u dont HAVE to use the monarch or the Q system or the brainstormer. I recommend them, cuz theyre fun, but u don’t gotta if u wanna swap em out for a a kaoson or a yellowcake or a sandhawk or smth

the last gun is my zheitsev’s eruption. This bad boy, when u reload, shoots out homing balls of debuffery. So every enemy that gets hit with these gets a debuff. I have tried this with the needler but I prefer Zheitsev’s bc it can hit more enemies and once and takes less time. this gun only goes to Blane (ur clone). 

for the skill trees we have no points in under cover even tho brainfreeze is the best skill in the gaaaaame

explanations: 

really the hitman tree is p self explanatory, u wanna go fast as fuck boiii. My band of sitorak does not have the +15 movespeed while zoomer is active anoint (it has the break shield amp anoint, which is p okay. want movespeed, but a nice human from the reddit gave me this sitorak so i didn’t have to farm). u want drone delivery bc Blane will NOT be throwing grenades. If you try to make him throw grenades with the seein’ dead he will ONLY throw grenades and never fire his gun, meaning he’ll never reload. it’s a nightmare. anyway. u want the piss grenade (ideally with the +25% damage on thrown anoint). im not looking forward to regrinding this when they finally mayhem buff grenades.

we put one point into playing dirty because we want those extra shots and honestly with the amount of times seein’ dead can proc ur kill skills you’ll have it more often than not

we also have points in good misfortune for that sweet sweet uptime (which btw can be infinite using the brainstormer/reflux bc it is essentially a redistributor without the need for ur barrier) the monarch/dictator also does it justice

for Blane u DON’T WANT praemuntis. we want blane reloading as often as gotdamn possible. now unfortunately my seein’ dead gave me a +weapon mag size roll (im actually not sure if this affects blane, but im assuming it does) but it does have the amazing +5 donnybrook so I’m taking it anyway. I am so not looking forward to regrinding a good class mod when they finally release action skill buffs for them. i cri. i actually hear 3 points in donnybrook and 2 in violent violence is p good (or 1 in violent violence 1 in playin dirty) so maybe grinding won’t be so bad. maybe i’ll finally get a +weapon damage roll

u can grab 1 point in ducttape mod and put 4 points into borrowed time if you want. it doesn’t really matter. i current have 5 in borrowed time and 3 in pocket full of grenades (for some reason??? usually i only put 2 in.). U can do that and use those extra points for either ducttape mod or more points in playing dirty. 

u NEED quick breather. This skill has a STUPID interaction with the band of sitorak shield because of how quickly it recharges. I’m talking, the instant you swap with Blane, you have full shields and so does he. It’s dumb, I love it. Use it to get out of trouble.

so im probably gonna need to explain why i have 3 points in trick of the light: im a cryo slut. That’s it. put those wherever you want, just make sure you can get Double Barrel. i’ve seen builds where people actually go for brainfreeze, i might try that next time i respec.

Double barrel will make it so blane can use the zheitsev’s eruption and debuff your enemies for you. it’s worth it.

so the augments u want are these:

SCHADENFREUDE. because band of sitorak has such a tiny capacity, ur shield is constantly up. If its not, it’s constantly breaking from full capacity. this does have a fun effect with the amp shield break anoint, but mainly i like it for the 25% damage buff whenever it breaks. its a tradeoff for damage, ur constantly swapping between max shields and more damage, so its actually p constant survivability and damage over the long run.

i grab doppelbanger bc blane sometimes gets stuck in the floor and/or i don’t feel like running all the way back. i wouldn’t recommend getting which one’s real or digital distribution only bc u want him alive as much as possible. u can also get binary system instead of doppelbanger, its up to you

for Zoomer u want bad dose for the movement speed and (sometimes) static field (only if the enemies have shields). this is so if blane goes down or he isn’t taking damage, zoomer can refill ur shields. if the enemies won’t have shields usually i grab winter’s drone or boomsday depending on how i feel.

im actually gonna try to see if i can’t grab brain freeze. hang on. i know trick of the light is frowned upon for most people so lemme just respec. (im sorry i just love the vibes it gives me it’s like HAHA you thought that was me? no!!! boop. and then they’re ice sculptures and man i love h2o i wish emma had frozen more people the only people she really freezes are Greg and Miriam and honestly she doesn’t even kill Greg smh. (Greg is dr denman’s assistant. greg is highkey god.) I do like what she did to Mirami, the fucking implications that YES these teenage girls ARE powerful enough to instakill people, they just don’t out of the kindness of their hearts. Rikki was badass that episode too. actually i love the episode where rikki almost boils a dude alive for making a fool of her with ILLEGAL F I S H and burns people using steam from a pipe. rikki is my favorite mermaid- she knew what was u p. I wish mako mermaids was as badass as h2o was. and the cartoon. god imagine the cartoon violence. sigh. let them use their op superpowers to be SUPERHEROES. like in h2o au i have baron flynt puppeteer people to their deaths from Thor bc he has cleo’s powers like why couldn’t she do that to someone. Like dr denman “lmao bye bitch” or even charlotte (who imho wasn’t bad until cleo started being rude to her. cleo was 100% at fault that season). it wouldn’t have killed her!!! ... instantly. probably. ive never seen avatar in full but i did watch the blood bending episode as a child and as i understand it that’s frowned upon but hey. CAN BELLA TURN PEOPLE INTO JELLY?? harry potter 🅱oneless arms... my god.)

anyway, respeccing. 

there goes all my money. rip.

so i think im gonna have to live with the slower reload speed (sob) but yes u can in fact get brain freeze with this build. lemme show...

so ye in the event u just can’t live without freezing people (i know the feeling) feel free to do this. imma play with this for a bit and see if i can live with slower reload. I actually depend on the 100% cryo with zoomer active for all my cryo damage. i also use an ice breaker so they freeze fairly easy (but only on mobs. on bosses u want the snowdrift or something else)

this build isn’t really meta and u might have trouble doing a solo run of true takedown on m10... bc its true takedown on m10, but honestly it’s fun as F U C K. you CAN do it, but it’s not no thoughts head empty like barrier-redistrubutor/yellowcake zane can be so u gotta be on TOP of ur SHIT. i love it. running around killing stuff. it’s fun. i also love teleporting. it’s my FAVORITE THING. I STILL GET GIDDY OVER IT BECAUSE IT’S SO FUN. ask my friends, they will tell you, sometimes i’ll just start gushing over how much fun it is to teleport even though i’ve played zane since release. just. GFDGHKJGDFK so much fun. i just... b o o p. god i love this game. i took a break to play assassin’s creed odyssey (fun sneaky beaky game, pretty awful dialogue) so DAMN i missed this. 

here’s a link to a video I took on athenas (my favorite area to run. it’s this game’s bloodshot stronghold!) this is the playlist i listen to while playing Zane. i keep swapping songs during play bc sometimes they don’t fit my vibe or i get tired of them lol (spotify control is hooked to my 4th and 5th mouse buttons so i don’t have to stop playing) i forgot where my shock sandhawk was in my inventory, is what i use to demolish traunt. i was so scared i threw it in my bank earlier on sanc-iii lol (also yes i still slap blane’s ass. it’s to encourage him to kill)

and here’s a link to the save + everything I had on me at the moment (including the stuff i picked up in the vid in case u want it lol) cuz im lazy and don’t feel like clearing out my inventory. some of these are only m4-9. which ones? it is a mystery. you’ll know when the new update releases ;) (no but actually im so hype for mayhem level on the item cards. finally. FINALLY!!!)

why is this video taking so long to upload. hynnnggggg

oh god is that the sun