#is this named after the only vienna teng song i know?

[monabela]

I'm back! well I guess on this blog it's not odd that I don't post for a while but still. I'm back! and since it's @aphrarepairweek2020 and I made best friends with a little girl on my mail round when she followed me through two streets and helped me put mail in mailboxes, this is the perfect time to indulge this ship that I'm not sure is actually a thing or I made up myself, and some kidfic (sort of)! this is for day 2, thunderstorm :0

~~~

(rain’s a part of) how life goes

pairings/characters: Poland (Feliks)/Sweden (Berwald), Sealand (Peter), Ladonia (Lars)

word count: 2419

summary:

Even if Feliks is still unsure of how he fits into the lives of Berwald’s sons, there is only one thing he can do when one of them is afraid of a thunderstorm.

~~~

Feliks is just about to put in his earbuds to listen to a podcast, when he hears a small, unfamiliar sound over the rain clattering against the windows, crashing into the sea somewhere near. He puts his phone down next to his crossed legs. Listens.

He can still hear the shower, barely, so it can’t be Berwald already. Maybe he dropped something, in there. His depth perception is awful without his glasses; Feliks wouldn’t be surprised. Hopefully, he’s almost done cleaning by now, anyway. Taking a shower during a thunderstorm isn’t the best idea, and Feliks feels a little guilty, since he was the one who dropped his drink on Berwald.

Thankfully, they’ve been dating long enough now that he doesn’t feel the terrible embarrassment he’s sure would have overwhelmed him in the beginning.

It seems to be silent now, or relatively so, given the downpour outside.

A clap of thunder, and another noise just out in the hall. Feliks half-turns to look over the back of the couch as the living room door opens, and a small, pale face peers through the gap, single blue eye wide. Ah, of course.

“Dad?” comes the usually so loud voice of Berwald’s eldest son, now just above a whisper. Feliks laces his fingers together in his lap, and takes a deep breath.

“Your dad’s taking a shower, Peter,” he says, smiling in what he hopes is a reassuring way when the boy spots him. Both Peter and his younger brother Lars know him well enough by now—he’s spent enough time around their father lately—but Feliks can’t deny that being around the boys still makes him a little nervous, if only because he knows they mean the world to Berwald and he’s terrified of somehow doing wrong by them. Having kids was never something he seriously thought about, because he just didn’t think he would be any good with them. The little Oxenstierna family is doing their best to prove him wrong.

“Oh,” Peter is saying, and he is already closing the door when the thunder rolls again, and he practically sprints into the living room instead, halting next to the couch. He’s clutching the hem of his pajama shirt with his small fingers, knuckles whitening. Feliks shakes his thin hair out of his face, meeting Peter’s eyes.

“Are you…” He tilts his head, assessing how Peter appears to be trying to control his fear. “Did you want to check on your dad, Peter?”

Peter nods vigorously, grateful, and Feliks can’t help but smile.

“Is he afraid of the thunder?”

Nodding again, Peter shuffles a little closer. His pajama shirt has a pirate ship on it, and the pants are printed with tiny rapiers and skulls, but he is no longer wearing the eyepatch and hat he had on this evening, when he insisted the trampoline in the backyard was his pirate ship and tried to get his brother to walk the plank multiple times, in increasingly loud pirate brogue. Lars kept refusing, of course, and Feliks had been tasked with distracting Peter. He could probably do so again, even if there’s no way he’ll go out and try to do tricks on the trampoline again like he’s seventeen and still dreaming of a career in gymnastics. Not in this weather.

More thunder.

Peter winces, hands wringing into his shirt. Feliks’s heart clenches.  With how boisterous he is, it’s easy to forget that Peter is still just a six-year-old boy, who wants his father to comfort him during a storm even if he’s too proud to admit it.

“I’m afraid of thunder, too, you know,” Feliks tells him, which isn’t true—thunder is one of the few loud noises he actually doesn’t mind—but that doesn’t matter.

“I’m not!” Peter insists, even as he climbs on to the couch next to Feliks, who grasps his shoulder to steady him. “I’m a pirate, an’ pirates are never afraid!”

“Yeah? You must be worried about your ship, like, with all this rain, right? The waves must be huge.” Feliks holds his breath while Peter sits close to him, pulling his legs up on the couch and wrapping his arms around his knees.

“My ship is undestroyable,” he declares. “It’s called—it’s called Storm Dee-mise!”

That one’s Feliks’s fault; he inadvertently taught Peter the word demise just this afternoon as he tried to think of a name for his trampoline ship, and the boy has used it in all the names he’s come up with since then, of which there have been about twenty. He’s got a very vivid imagination.

“An’ it’s got cannons that’re louder than the thunder, an’ the sails—” He cuts himself off at a particularly loud roll of thunder that seems to shake the house and follows the lightning almost immediately. He scoots closer to Feliks, who tentatively holds out his arm at just the right height for the boy to duck underneath it. After a second, he does so, nestling himself against Feliks’s side.

God, if his twenty-year-old self could see him now, Feliks thinks. Or even his thirty-four-year-old self of two years ago, when he’d first been introduced to Berwald through mutual friends, most of whom had been as surprised as Feliks himself when they started dating. Partly because Berwald had children, and Feliks supposes he’s never been known for his great social skills, whether with children or adults, and partly because everyone still remembered that he had been very intimidated by the tall man when they’d first met. And Feliks says strange things when he’s intimidated.

There’s only so much time you can spend awkwardly standing next to each other not knowing what to say while your friends blather on, though. And once they started, it proved difficult to stop.

“Hey, Pete,” he says, softly, and he thinks it’s the first time he’s called the boy that, the first time it’s felt appropriate.

Peter looks up at him from underneath his arm, blue eyes mirroring his father’s. Feliks has no idea where those dark eyebrows he’s currently drawn into a frown have come from, though.

“Are you still scared?” Peter asks manfully.

“A little.” Feliks shakes his hair away again. “Do you think I could come onto the Storm’s Demise?”

“’Course.” He burrows further into his side and the couch cushions at another clap of thunder, following the lightning flashes ever closer now.

“I bet you can’t even, like, hear the thunder belowdecks, right?”

Peter nods against his ribs. Still cautious, Feliks reaches for the mop of blond hair hiding his face, and cards his fingers through it. It’s all sticking up even more than usual. He must have spent some time tossing and turning in bed before this. For a young boy, it’s far too late to be up, especially after all that trampoline excitement. It’s not something Feliks thinks he would have even known a year ago, but he’s concerned about it now.

“Your dad would like to be on the ship too, I bet.”

“Lars can come too,” Peter mumbles through a yawn, and he glances up with half-lidded eyes when Feliks can’t help but chuckle at that.

“Good! That’s good, Pete. You look after your little brother.”

“He’s only five. He’s a baby.” The words are mumbled into his hoodie. Well, Berwald’s hoodie. Maybe Peter finds the fact that it smells like laundry and wood as comforting as Feliks does. “I’m six years old.”

“Yeah, you are. Do you know how many years old I am?”

Peter looks up appraisingly, silent for a long moment save for the rain pounding against the glass like an unwanted stranger. The sound of the shower has stopped, but Feliks couldn’t say how long ago that happened.

“Dad’s forty years old,” Peter eventually says, thoughtful. Berwald is thirty-nine, but it’s almost his birthday, so that’s fair. “You must also be forty.”

Fair enough.

“Almost,” Feliks replies, and Peter smiles proudly, probably glad to have worked out that puzzle, and he still winces when there’s more thunder, but is still smiling when it’s over.

“Uncle Søren is thirty-seven,” he starts recounting, “an’ Ashleigh is six also and Refik is seven an’…”

Feliks tunes him mostly out while he lists the ages of all the neighborhood children, his grandparents—which he’s pretty sure are wrong, because he’s met Berwald’s parents and doesn’t think either of them looked anywhere near a hundred-and-twenty—and then who knows who else. He just ruffles the boy’s hair every once in a while, when there’s more thunder, even though Peter barely seems to notice at this point, caught up as he is.

Not for the first time, Feliks catches himself thinking that Peter has inherited his father’s logical mind, to be so fascinated with numbers, and then, definitely for the first time, he thinks, well, there’s something I can help him with when he’s older, because Feliks likes numbers too. They’re nice and straightforward, don’t change values depending on context. He thinks about helping Peter or Lars with math homework in a house he designed, at a kitchen table Berwald has built, and it’s a bit of a terrifying thought, but not so scary that he refuses to think it. Not so scary that it can’t be a silent hope.

He would have locked it away, not so long ago. The Oxenstiernas are teaching him things in more than one way. Or maybe he’s just finally growing up as he nears forty.

“Feliks?” A heavy hand on his shoulder. Feliks startles out of his daydream. Looks down at Peter, who is silent now, and—oh, he has fallen asleep tucked against him, one hand grasping the hoodie.

Swallowing heavily, Feliks shifts his gaze up, to where Berwald is smiling down at him. His eyes are bright in that way that Feliks has realized by now suggests warmth. It’s easy to mistake it for judgment, or indifference, but he knows now that Berwald cares deeply about many things, his sons above all. You just have to know to look for it.

“Everything okay here?” he’s asking now. He reaches over to where Feliks is still absently stroking Peter’s hair and pushes it out of the boy’s closed eyes. “Pete couldn’t sleep?”

“I convinced him I was the one who was scared of the thunder,” Feliks whispers, briefly wondering if maybe that was the wrong thing to do—because surely, it’s important for Peter to learn that it’s okay to be afraid of things himself—but Berwald smiles, familiar laugh lines forming around his eyes.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, sure, like…” He doesn’t know what to say, so he just looks down at the boy peacefully sleeping against his side. “Of course. He’s… Of course.”

Berwald walks around the couch silently and gazes down at the two of them, seemingly similarly lost for words. He has already changed into his pajamas. Quite unexpectedly, Feliks is out of breath at how quaint this all is, and how much he wants to keep it. He blinks rapidly as Berwald crouches down. The man rests one hand on Feliks’s leg while he gently touches his son’s forehead with the other, callused thumb smoothing away a frown as it appears. Peter doesn’t wake. Berwald looks up at Feliks, who chews on his lip until he reaches up and cups his jaw.

“Okay?” Berwald asks, his voice deeper than the rolling thunder but infinitely more soothing.

In response, Feliks smiles, and untangles his fingers from Peter’s hair, careful not to jostle him, to run both hands through Berwald’s short hair instead until he’s cupping the back of his head and Berwald is leaning up with his leg as leverage to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. He smells like shampoo now. Feliks smiles, ruffling his hair this time.

“Alright,” Berwald mumbles, pushing himself to his feet, dropping a kiss on top of Feliks’s head as he goes, “let’s get him back to bed. ‘S too late to be up.”

Nodding, Feliks shifts so Berwald can gather his son into those strong arms of his. He could probably pick Feliks up with the same ease, but it’s never come up. Peter sniffles and curls into his father’s broad chest, but doesn’t wake even as thunder rolls again.

As Berwald moves towards the stairs, Feliks decides to follow, turning off the lights in the living room and carefully closing the door so it doesn’t rattle in the wind that will inevitably creep in. While Berwald tucks his son back into bed, Feliks brushes his teeth, changes into his pajamas, and uses the bathroom, and they meet again on the landing in front of Berwald’s bedroom, where Feliks smiles softly and starts to whisper something about Peter, when Berwald leans over and kisses him, grasping his face with those big hands.

Feliks hooks his fingers into the man’s old T-shirt, smiling into the closemouthed kisses pressed against his lips.

“Thank you,” Berwald mutters, again.

“It’s nothing.”

“’S not, Feliks.” His gaze is intense in the low light coming from his bedroom, blue eyes nearly transparent behind his glasses. “You know it’s not.”

Of course it’s not, but…

Not sure what to say, Feliks just presses his face into Berwald’s warm neck, standing on his tiptoes, breathing in his clean scent and listening to his steady heartbeat. The man rests his chin on top of his head, folding him into his arms. It feels secure, in a way that few things have done in Feliks’s life, and he think he might understand how Peter felt, safe from the thunderstorm. He isn’t the boy’s father and will never be, but maybe, maybe, Feliks could mean something similar to him.

Thunder rolls. Feliks swallows.

“You’re doing great,” Berwald says softly.

He wants to muffle words into the man’s neck, wants to tell him he loves him, and may very well love his sons too, but Feliks can’t bring himself to say it quite yet. It’s a truth he didn’t think he’d ever get to say, so it can wait a while longer. Just a while.

It won’t be long.

A small noise, down the hall. They both look at the wide blue eyes underneath a mop of ginger hair, peering around the bedroom door with Lars painted on it in a child’s clumsy hand, the s backwards.

“Dad?”

Berwald kisses Feliks’s forehead and trails his fingers down his arm as he walks over to his youngest son. Feliks smiles, and wanders after him.

[undeadchestnut]

A Stricklake Playlist

Thought I'd share my personal Stricklake Playlist, aka What I listen to while I draw. (I apologize in advance for how cheesy some of these songs are. Although, if you know my Stricklake art, I guess it's not much of a surprise. And since this is my personal playlist I'll likely add/remove/reorder songs on a whim - so best save it for yourself if you like it in its current state!)

A complete list of songs is further down behind the cut, if Spotify isn't your thing. Hope you'll find something you like! <3

(Since this playlist is so long, I've bolded some of my personal favorites... Highly subjective, of course!)

Stray Italian Greyhound | Vienna Teng

Dear Fellow Traveller | Sea Wolf

I hear a Symphony | Cody Fry

Dreamin' Again | Jim Croce

Someone to You - Acoustic | BANNERS

Bizarre Love Triangle | New Order

To Lose My Life | White Lies

Not What I Meant | dodie, Lewis Watson

You Know Where to Find Me | Imogen Heap

Butterflies | Gabbie Hanna

Bloodbuzz Ohio | The National

The Rising Tide | The Killers

Liar | The Arcadian Wild

Curses | The Crane Wives

We Have It All | Pim Stones

Blood On My Name | The Brothers Bright

Beekeeper | Keaton Henson

Honestly | Gabbie Hanna

Man Or Monster | Sam Tinnesz, Zayde Wølf

My Body Is A Cage | Arcade Fire

Love Bites | Ice Nine Kills, Chelsea Talmadge

Make This Go On Forever | Snow Patrol

Personal | Stars

Holy | PVRIS

Honestly - Encore | Gabbie Hanna

Losing Your Memory | Ryan Star

I Of The Storm | Of Monsters and Men

A Monster Like Me | Mørland, Debrah Scarlett

All For A Woman | The Airborne Toxic Event

Time Lapse Lifeline | Maria Taylor

That's Okay | The Hush Sound

Loose Change for the Boatman | King Charles

Dancing After Death - Stripped | Matt Maeson

I Wasted You | flora cash

My Love Took Me Down To The River… | Little Green Cars

Save It for the Living | Smash Into Pieces

Blame | Air Traffic Controller

Cairo | San Fermin

Monster | dodie

To Be Human | MARINA

Ship in a Bottle | fin

Dancing After Death | Matt Maeson

Ghost | Halsey

So Tied Up | Cold War Kids, Bishop Briggs

Far Away | Stéphanie De Corby

Pieces | Icon For Hire

Change | The Night Flight Orchestra

The Reason | Hoobastank

Who Are You, Really? | Mikky Ekko

Only Love Can Save Me Now | The Pretty Reckless

It’s Alright | Mother Mother

The Heart Is a Muscle | Gang of Youths

I Wanna Get Better | Bleachers

Changeling | The Riptide Movement

Boats & Birds | Gregory and the Hawk

Great Big Storm | Nate Ruess

What Makes a Good Man? | Nate Ruess

Factories | Autoheart

Love Runs Out | One Republic

Love Is Stronger Than Pride | Sade

No Matter Where You Are (Wedding Ver.) | Us The Duo

Mercy Mirror | Within Temptation

World on Fire | Les Friction

Dangerous Man | Little Dume

Where The Lonely Ones Roam (Piano V.) | Digital Daggers

I Still Have Faith In You | Abba

Wide Eyed | Cold Weather Company

Come Back | Us The Duo

Simple Song | The Shins

Sinners | Lauren Aquilina

Will I Find My Home - Acoustic Version | Juniper Vale, Vian Izak

Paint The World - Acoustic Version | Temperance

Someone To You | Banners

Aeromantic | The Night Flight Orchestra

We’re on Our Way | Radical Face

Brave | The Shires

Where the Lonely Ones Roam | Digital Daggers

From the Wreckage Build a Home | The Wind and The Wave

No Matter Where You Are | Us The Duo

Come With Me | Chxrlotte

Battle Cry | The Family Crest

[justanotherghostwriter]

Of The Water and the Sunshine: A Fanmix

I guess this is my contribution to Zutara Month: making a fanmix for the wonderful “Arranged marriage Zuko of the Water Tribe” AU @lizanthium thought up somewhere in her beautiful brain. Under the cut so I can add things as they come to me, because by no means am I done here.

Homesick – Sleeping at Last

Call it survival Call it the freedom of wills; Where breath is borrowed Our compass needle stands still Cry wolf, cry mercy Cry the name of the one you were raised to believe; Cry hard, cry yourself to sleep, cry a storm of tears If it helps you breathe

Comes and Goes In Waves (2013 Remake) – Greg Laswell

This one's for believing If only for its sake Come on friends get up now Love is to be made

Hope – Tim Fain and Sleeping At Last

There is hope in our eyes When we truly see each other Like the light of countless stars We are not afraid of the dark 'Cause there is hope in our hearts And every single beat, we feel it To the ends of the earth Our echo carries on

Linked specifically to this pic. Bright and Early – Sleeping At Last

But why couldn't I have been safe from the start? Soundly asleep The warmth of blankets Makes me nervous I'd rather catch a cold Like sparks in matches Blink, you'll miss it The future's up in smoke

Linked to the first panel of this pic.

Walls – Gracie Schram

I’m stepping out from behind my shadow Bringing to the light what was unknown All my friendly fears Have kept me company for so long I’ve kept this distance, dear But I’m feeling like it’s all wrong Times I’ve been hidden, things I’ve been forbidden   Once step closer, one step in After all I’m learning to let my walls fall

Grow As We Go – Ben Platt

You won't be the only one I am unfinished, I've got so much left to learn I don't know how this river runs But I'd like the company through every twist and turn Who said it's true That the growing only happens on your own? They don't know me and you You don't ever have to leave If to change is what you need You can change right next to me When you're high, I'll take the lows You can ebb and I can flow And we'll take it slow And grow as we go

 Fallen – Gert Taberner

Tell me things you've never said out loud Just try and go there if you can Show me the parts of you you're not that proud of I want to know, I'm just a man I'll have you know that I have good and bad days Come on now love, don't be naive Lay out our cards and you'll see all my mistakes Well, I don't mind while you're with me When have I fallen? Am I crawling on my knees? Here I'm calling In the hope that you'll see me

 Lay You Down – Matt Corby

And, oh, it's holding me down To let you inside, now It's calling out, it's calling me And I follow the hour And I will love your way And I love your way To let you inside, now And all along the way I'll find you, I'll find you

 Song to the Siren – Rose Betts

Well, I'm as puzzled as a newborn child I'm as riddled as the tide Should I stand amid the breakers Or should I lie with death my bride? Hear me sing Swim to me Swim to me, let me enfold you Here I am, here I am Waiting to hold you

 Safe and Sound – The Civil Wars and Taylor Swift

Don't you dare look out your window, darling everything's on fire The war outside our door keeps raging on Hold onto this lullaby even when the music’s gone

Set to around the time of this pic, when they’re in the Fire Nation and being back around his father and sister is making Zuko much more nervous (and protective of Katara).

Currents – Sleeping at Last

In this sea of change, understanding is our shore I disappear with no control The current is strong, my arms are weak But you are the branch within my reach

The Rip – The Brinks

And the only thing that I was told Always say the way you're feeling If the sea of hope is calm Just surrender to your being I'm all around you And if the dark is blinding I'm all around you We'll run forever with the lightning

 Gravity – Vienna Teng

So don't turn away now I am turning in revolution. These are the scars that silence carved on me. Hey love, I am a constant satellite of your blazing sun. My love, I obey your law of gravity. This is the fate you've carved on me

For ~Meta Reasons TM~ I link this specifically to this pic.

First Day of My Life – Bright Eyes

Yours was the first face that I saw I think I was blind before I met you And I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been But I know where I want to go And so I thought I'd let you know Yeah, these things take forever, I especially am slow But I realized that I need you And I wondered if I could come home

Joy – Iron and Wine

Deep inside the heart of this troubled man There's an itty bitty boy tugging hard at your hand Born bitter as a lemon but you must understand That you've been bringing me joy And I'll only lie when you don't want the truth I'm only frightened ‘cause you finally gave me something to lose And it's as loud as a thunderclap and you hear it, too But you've been bringing me joy

Linked specifically to this pic.

Light – Sleeping at Last

I'll give you everything I have I'll teach you everything I know I promise I'll do better I will always hold you close But I will learn to let you go I promise I'll do better

Love and Some Verses – Iron and Wine

Love to say this to your face: “I’ll love you only.” Love and some verses you hear Say what you can't say Love to say this in your ear "I'll love you that way."

Not linked to a specific pic (yet?) but the first two lines absolutely have the vibes of Katara kissing Zuko’s scar. I don’t make the rules.

Words – Gregory Alan Isakov

So I’ll send you my words From the corners of my room And though I write them by the light of day Please read them by the light of the moon

Absolutely linked directly to this pic.

Salt and the Sea – Gregory Alan Isakov

And the words you could say That would always keep me near Is stay…stay I belong with the salt and the sea and the stones Save them all for me.

I'm On My Way – Rich Price

If I lift my head From the bed of stars, the ocean wide If I call your name out Would you carry me on inside If I close my eyes Let me put my face in the hot sand Could you raise your voice up Feeling that hope Together with mine, yeah But I'm on my way Yes I'm on my way

If I Die, I Love You - Jason Lancaster

And there has always been something about coming home How every mile closer wherever he'd roam He could hear all the sounds in his ears making sense And feel as the weight from his heart started lifting

Ocean Song – Ben Howard

Oh I'm going to the ocean no, no ,no Answer some of these questions that have been dragging me down All this time Over mountains, mountains of black and white, white Til I know, know what I've found here Til I know, know what I've found here Oh darling won't you wait for me? Darling won't you be there standing there at the shore? Cause I'll be coming home, coming home soon Coming home, darling I'll be coming home to you

An unnecessary side note: the father in this narrative is Iroh, because Ozai wouldn’t be that kind nor that poetically vague. Linked specifically to this pic.

Promise – Ben Howard

And meet me there Bundles of flowers We'll wade through the hours of cold Winter shall howl at the walls Tearing down doors of time Shelter as we go And promise me this You'll wait for me only Scared of the lonely arms Surface, far below these birds And maybe, just maybe, I'll come home

Linked specifically to this pic.

 Little Wonders – Rob Thomas

Let it go Let it roll right off your shoulder Don't you know The hardest part is over Let it in Let your clarity define you In the end We will only just remember how it feels

We’re Still Here – Sleeping at Last

Through the static, Through the ashes We were brave. Through the perils Of endless narrow escapes, We’re still here. We’re still here.

 What Would I Do Without You - Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors

So you got the morning, I got midnight You are patient, I'm always on time Oh, what would I do without you? You got your sunshine, I got rain clouds You got hope, I got my doubts So, what would I do without you?

Because I have thought far too much about this song in the context of this AU, have my thoughts: verse 1, verse 3, “chorus” 2 and lines 2 of verses 5 and 6 are from Zuko’s POV. Verse 2, “chorus” 1, verse 4 and the first lines of verses 5 and 6 are Katara’s POV.

Life – Sleeping at Last

She drew her first breath I learned what love meant And my heart reconciled all the darkness and light inside my chest As her hands held tight And her eyes met mine I saw the future unfold in silver and gold And I'm already proud Beautiful like your mother You are grace You are light The better version of our past From the start of life

Specifically linked to this pic.

 Daughter – Sleeping at Last

If only you knew The sunlight shines a little brighter The weight of the world's a little lighter The stars lean in a little closer All because of you

Specifically linked to this pic.

 BONUS: Surround You – Echosmith

Wherever you are Whenever you need me Just crawl in my arms Oh and I'll hold you beside me I want my love to surround you

Not a song particularly linked to this AU or even ZK with any real meta, but I love this song and I like thinking about it and the bottom panel of this pic together so. (This pic still makes me the most feral of all okay.)

[dianapocalypse]

Alright y’all, with the release of Mass Effect: Legendary Edition, it’s time for me to share my playlist for the entire trilogy.

I’ve refined this over like six years so scientifically speaking it’s probably good right. oh also it’s four hours long. so if you have a road trip or a boring job, this one’s for you. disclaimer, it’s entirely possible I have garbage taste in music. I also missed some characters and moments because there’s 65 songs here and I am merely human.

If you don’t have the patience for four hours, I recommend starting at track 45 and listening to the end, as the Mass Effect 3 portion is the strongest in my opinion.

UNDER THE CUT FOR DESCRIPTIONS WE GO!

FIRST MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 1

1. Atlas - Coldplay Eden Prime

“Sometimes the wire Must tense for the note Caught in the fire, say oh We're about to explode“

I really like the atmosphere of this song. It’s ominous, but also somehow hopeful, and makes me feel like Something Huge Is Coming.

2. I Will Not Sing A Hateful Song - Constantines Paragon Shepard

“But I was also born and raised To always speak and listen clear To know the last sound that I make Could be the last sound that I hear“

OK, listen, I think this song is about vampires, and I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be a metaphor or not. But I think this is a great song about controlling one’s temper, about knowing that you have to Rise Above the parts of you that want to lash out sometimes to get things done and have peace. Seeing as how paragon Shepard, to me, always seems like they’re three deep breaths away from snapping, but manage to keep it in check, it fits them to a T.

And also maybe they’re a vampire.

3. Hard to Kill - Beth Crowley Renegade Shepard

“So I let the rumors Turn me into a legend 'Cause I'm only human But a good myth is hard to kill”

This one’s a recent addition, but holy cow, I love it for Renegade Shep, particularly an Earthborn or Ruthless, but it works for any of them.

4. We Own the Skies - Five Iron Frenzy Joker

“My hands are bleeding where they often crack The stars will sometimes burn with longing Through the choking black Of night shifts piling each against the next”

This really vibes with Joker’s backstory for me, his super driven serious self in flight school, contrasted with who he is when he can fly a ship. He’s the best pilot in the goddamn fleet and I love him.

5. I Just Wanna See - Smash Mouth Kaidan Alenko

“Mister moon checkin' on how y'all livin' The stars all winkin' at the day that's dimmin' I just wanna see”

This song fits into his reactions to first showing up at the Citadel and his former romanticism about living in space. Ironically, it’s a song about Earth, but I feel like it works well for him. Also, Smash Mouth absolutely sounds like the kind of music Kaidan would listen to, no I will not be taking questions or constructive criticism.

6. Don’t Give Up - Noisettes Ashley Williams

“She's got a talented face and a suitcase Ain't got no desire to go no place In her case she's got no desire with her hand in the flame say's she don't feel the fire “

The energy of this song is just perfect for Ashley’s no-nonsense chip on her shoulder attitude.

7. About As Helpful As You Can Be Without Being Any Help At All - Dan Mangan The Council

“I was thrown in the boat/Cast out to sea Friendly with waves/There were sharks below Hungry for me/So I dangled my leg”

I mean, the title says it all.

8. The Captain - Guster Anderson

“Courageous, just like the captain Marching forward with no doubt in his head”

I have adored this song ever since my friend played it for me, and it’s the ultimate mentor-protégé jam for me.

9. Secret Agent Man - Johnny Rivers Garrus Vakarian

“Here's a man who leads a life of danger To everyone he meets he stays a stranger Oh, with every move he makes another chance he takes The odds are he won't live to see tomorrow”

I have to poke a little fun at Garrus and how seriously he takes himself in Mass Effect 1. I romanced him across four playthrus, I’m allowed!

10. I’m Getting Too Old For This Shit - Kill Lincoln Urdnot Wrex

“This random apathy/I swear it's killing me But I guess it's all the same, till the devil knows my name”

I don’t know ANYTHING about this band, but this song fits Wrex’s disillusionment with the Krogan well, plus, like. The title. (And also, that he secretly DOES care what happens to the Krogan.)

11. Bird Song - Juniper Vale Tali’zorah nar Rayya

“I want to dance on the horizon line But there is something I am caged behind I have a heart made for take flight But I'm low, so low”

I adore this song and the sound of Juniper Vale in general. The etherealness of this one, combined with the youthful optimism, feels very Tali. The line about ‘something I am caged behind’ works well for the suits, too. This one’s especially good if you’re a Talimancer!

12. 11. Green Garden - Laura Mvula Liara T’Soni

“And I’ll fly on the wings of a butterfly High as a tree top and down again Putting my bag down, taking my shoes off Walk on the carpet of green velvet”

I really like this song’s vibes and I feel like Liara fits it well, particularly in ME1, before all her youthful optimism is stripped from her. The scenery descriptions feel very Thessia, too.

13. Feed Me (Git It) - Little Shop of Horrors The Thorian 

“The guy sure looks like plant food to me!”

Do you get it. Do you get my joke. It’s because the Thorian is a plant that eats people. (I’m not funny)

14. Blindness - Metric Matriarch Benezia

“I was a blind fool, never complained All the survivors singing in the rain “

I don’t love the use of blind here as a negative, albeit metaphorical, descriptor, but I think this song fits Benezia’s indoctrination and death well. If you have suggestions for another, though, let me know!

15. Technologic - Daft Punk Saren

“Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it”

I just think it’s Neat

16. Watershed - Vienna Teng The Reapers

“ While you were building your empires I was still sleeping”

I think this is the song that inspired the entire playlist. Vienna Teng sat down and decided to write a song from the perspective of a natural disaster, and it’s so ominous and gut-wrenching.

17. Hourglass - The Hush Sound Virmire

“This is how it ends We believe every lie and say we'll be friends How long will it last? Before we scratch all the scripts and we rework the cast “

hahahahah rework the cast get it because you have to pick who DIES

Seriously tho I really like this song for Virmire and that moment of choice that feels like it lasts 100 years on some playthroughts.

18. Pompeii - Bastille The Siege of the Citadel

“ And the walls kept tumbling down In the city that we love”

Throwback to when this song was on the radio like three times an hour. Which is around the time I made the first draft of this playlist, incidentally! It’s such a good Final Battle Jam for the Citadel, and the part about “if you close your eyes/does it almost feel like nothing’s changed at all” I think work really well for Shepard in this sequence. Shepard knew the Reapers were coming, had been fighting them all along; this attack on the Citadel is just retreading familiar territory for them, as horrifying as the war being brought to their doorstep is for the Citadel’s citizens and the council. James Vega has some good dialogue about that kind of thing in ME3.

INTERLUDE THE FIRST

19. Starships - Nicki Minaj The Normandy Crew

Starships were meant to fly Hands up and touch the sky

I like to have a little fun OK

20. Gravity - Yoko Kanno The Death of Commander Shepard

“Am I alone? is somebody there beyond these heavy aching feet still the road keeps on telling me to go on”

Welcome to mood whiplash, it’s my specialty! This is the part where you die. I think it also works for her coma very well, when she’s just drifting between life and death, not sure what’s going on, but something keeps trying to pull her back to the world.

SECOND MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 2

21. The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy The Lazarus Project

“Hey young blood, doesn't it feel like our time is running out? I'm gonna change you like a remix Then I'll raise you like a phoenix “

this song has no right to go as hard as it does and if  you think it’s melodramatic shut up

22. My Body Is A Cage - Peter Gabriel Commander Shepard

“I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving Still my heart beats so slow “

This works particularly well if you romanced The Virmire Survivor, but this song captures the energy of Shepard freaking out bc they are trapped with Cerberus, because Cerberus rebuilt their body from the ground up. That jarring, caged feeling is so palpable in ME2 that when they gave me back Joker the first time I played, I BURST INTO SOBS from relief.

23. The Lady is a Vamp - The Spice Girls Miranda Lawson

“That's all in the past, legends built to last But she's got something new”

Listen. She’s a bond babe. Handbags, heels and pistols rock. She’s got class. This is a song about Miranda. That is all.

24. Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down Jacob Taylor

“ I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon After all I knew, it had to be something to do with you “

This one’s about the Vibes for me. Also can apply to his past relationship with Miranda. I’m also super showing my age on this song, oof haha.

25. Stable Song - Death Cab For Cutie Colony Abduction

“Rows of deserted houses all Our stable mates highway bound “

I really like the mood of this one for showing up on the very first abducted colony, the eerieness and sadness of it all and Shepard’s resolve to do something about it.

26. Konichiwa Bitches - Robyn Kasumi Goto

“I'm so very hot that when I rob your mansion You ain't call the cops, you call the fire station”

THAT COUPLET ALONE MAKES THE ENTIRE SONG. I love how playful and cheeky it is.

27. Seven Nation Army Glitch Mob Remix - The White Stripes, Glitch Mob Zaeed Massani

“And I'm talking to myself at night Because I can't forget Back and forth through my mind Behind a cigarette”

Pretty sure we all had this on some playlist or another when it came out, and it’s the perfect Badass With A Grudge song.

28. Science is Real - They Might Be Giants Mordin Solus

“ And when a theory emerges Consistent with the facts The proof is with science The truth is with science “

This one actually got added by my wife to replace a song that wasn’t on Spotify, but that has the same energy; Hank Green’s “I Fucking Love Science”. I get more into the emotional side of Mordin in the ME3 section, but I also really just love his Hamster On Coffee energy and this song captures it really well.

29. Prove Yourself - Radiohead Garrus Vakarian

“I can't afford to breathe in this town Nowhere to sit without a gun in my hand Hooked back up to the cathode ray

I'm better off dead “

The absolute rock bottom mental state Garrus is in when you get back to him in ME2 is so heartwrenching. Might not always agree with my boy’s methods, but he’s one of my favorite fictional characters of all time.

30. Rat a Tat - Fallout Boy Feat. Courtney Love Jack

“We are professional ashes of roses, this kerosene's live You settled your score, this is where you come to beg”

It helps that Courtney Love sounds exactly like Jack to me, NGL.

31. Defeat You - Smash Mouth Grunt

“Hey I know what you've done It makes it that much better to defeat you “

Only I am brave enough to put two songs by Smash Mouth on the same playlist, to be shared in 2021

32. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot - Brand New Horizon/The Virmire Survivor

“If it makes you less sad I will die by your hand Hope you find out what you want Already know what I am “

Hits harder if you romanced the Virmire Survivor. Mostly from Shep’s perspective. This is a Shep that feels Bad after that encounter rather than Mad, so Your Mileage May Vary.

33. Violet Stars Happy Hunting! - Janelle Monae Tali’zorah vas Neema

“I'm an alien from outer space I'm a cyber-girl without a face a heart or a mind”

I just like the vibes of this one for Tali! I know it’s more about an actual AI but...IDK. I like it. So there.

34. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd Thane Krios

“There is no pain you are receding A distant ship smoke on the horizon”

This song works both on a Literal level with his Kepral’s syndrome struggles, but also Metaphorical re: his Battle Sleep. Plus, Thane is a dad, so he gets Dad Rock.

35. My Medea - Vienna Teng Samara

“For I have made her prison be Her every step away from me And this child I would destroy If you tried to set her free “

Mom of the year award, here

36. Toxic - Britney Spears Morinth

“There's no escape, I can't wait I need a hit, baby, give me it You're dangerous, I'm loving it”

If Morinth weren’t so under-utilized after recruitment and didn’t get killed off in the background of ME3 I’d probably actually recruit her sometimes. I almost did on my most recent playthru bc that Shepard just HATES SPACE COPS. Anyway the song explains itself

37. Turn me On - David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj EDI/The Collector Attack

“My body needs a hero Come and save me Something tells me you know how to save me”

I know this song is a metaphor but also it works really well both literally and metaphorically for Joker saving EDI

38. Robots - Dan Mangan Legion

“Robots need love too They want to be loved by you “

The Geth just want to live peacefullyyyyyy 

39. Be Still - The Killers Love Interest Theme

“Be still / someday you’ll leave fearlessness on your sleeve”

This song works so well for the night before Omega-4. If you had an ME2 love interest, anyway. Also “fearlessness on your sleeve” is one of my favorite set of words ever written.

40. No Cars Go - Arcade Fire The Omega-4 Relay

“We know a place no spaceships go We know a place where no subs go “

This one’s pretty literal.

41. Rocketman - Elton John Suicide Mission

“ And I think it's gonna be a long, long time 'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home “

I like sneaking some Classics onto my playlists, and I think this is how I generally approach Shepard’s mindset during the Suicide Mission, mostly the chorus. I’m also a sucker for ballads during action sequences. This one isn’t a perfect 1:1 but the Vibes check out.

42. Blast Off - David Guetta feat. Kaz James The Normandy Crew

“Got all my people with me And none of us give a fuck So put dem hands up higher Let's smash this party up”

You have to imagine they partied HARD after recovering from Suicide Mission, but before Shep got arrested, right??? This is the Starships for ME2.

INTERLUDE THE SECOND

43. I’m Not Your Hero - Tegan and Sara Liara T’soni

“ Feeling like I am now lighting up the hall I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart Learning all I know now, losing all I did I never used to feel like I'd be standing so far ahead “

This feels like a good coming of age moment for Liara, as she copes with the choices she made in the 2 years of Shepard’s death (giving them to Cerberus), losing Feron, etc. This is her coming into her own as the Shadow Broker. She’s not meant to be an uncomplicated Big Damn Hero, but she can do good from this position.

44. The Well and the Lighthouse - Arcade Fire The Alpha Relay Incident

“I'm serving time All for a crime I did commit You want the truth? You know I'd do it all again“

These opening lines I feel capture the Alpha Relay Incident really well, and how Shepard did what they HAD to do there, and would do it again, but it still feels like shit. I always wished there was more choice on that mission, but also, having something like that happen without player agency is interesting. Shepard is at their most interesting, I think, in times where we DON’T have a say in what happens to them.

45. Reignite - Malukah Commander Shepard

“Crush my heart into embers, and I will reignite”

Is it cheating to use a Mass Effect fan song on my playlist? I certainly don’t think so, and this is the best Mass Effect fan song ever written.

THIRD MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 3

46. This Is War - Thirty Seconds to Mars Leaving Earth

“It's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie The moment to live and the moment to die The moment to fight, the moment to fight To fight, to fight, to fight “

It feels Too Easy to use this here but I’m gonna anyway. You’ve seen AMVs of this set to everything. It’s the ending song of DA:O. It’s the quintessential World At War song.

47. Battleborn - The Killers James Vega

“Up against the wall There's something dying on the street When they knock you down You're gonna get back on your feet”

James Vega is massively underrated and I will love him til I’m cold in the ground. Aro icon.

48. Handlebars - Flobots The Illusive Man

“I can hand out a million vaccinations Or let 'em all die of exasperation Have 'em all healed of their lacerations Have 'em all killed by assassination”

The way this song escalates fits TIM and Cerberus’s fall back into being Just Full On Evil really well. Perfect song for a power trip.

49. Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect - The Decemberists The Virmire Survivor

“And I am nothing of a builder But here I dreamt I was an architect And I built this balustrade To keep you home, to keep you safe From the outside world”

I like this song for how the Virmire Survivor feels about their survivor’s guilt and also about Shepard. I honestly wish they were both more heavily utilized in ME2 and 3, but I realize it’s hard to write a ton of content for characters who just aren’t in half of all peoples’ playthrus.

50. Heaven Knows - The Pretty Reckless Grisson Academy

“One, two, three and four, the devil's knocking at your door Caught in the eye of a dead man's lie Show your life with your head held high“

This song is so perfect for Jack and her biotic kids that she’s one of the only returning characters that gets her own song on this playlist

51. The Great Fire - OK Go Javik

“But when the flames die down, and everything is gone, Will there be fire under the ashes still?”

Self explanatory. Javik is the fire remaining under the ashes.

52. Bring the Hammer Down - Paragon Priority: Tuchanka/Kalros

“ Hammer strikes the anvil A rage that breaks the chain Strikes down like a lightening In our ranks “

KALROOOOOS

53. Wake Up - Arcade Fire Curing The Genophage/Mordin Solus

“If the children don't grow up, Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up. We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turnin' every good thing to Rust I guess we'll just have to adjust”

I just really love this song as an image of Mordin’s spirit looking out over Tuchanka as the genophage cure is dispersed, and watching over future generations. If you didn’t cure the genophage, how dare you. No song for you.

Anyway started tearing up listening to this one while writing the description don’t look at me

54. Ballad of a Politician - Regina Spektor Councillor Udina/Priority Citadel 2

“A man inside a room is shaking hands with other men This is how it happens/Our carefully laid plans”

traitor

55. Cyborgs vs. Robots - Ludo The Geth-Quarian War

“But your iron fist will never knock me down 'Cause I'm powered By a conscious right to conduct my life without fear.”

This is probably a bit silly for this awful war. But also. It does fit. You can’t tell me it doesn’t. Just save them both at the end and you can feel fine having some fun with it!

56. Artificial Heart - Jonathan Coulton The Geth

“It's not a real heart It is a real artificial heart”

Just a little fun with the Geth! This works best with Reaper Upgrades.

57. With A Little Help From My Friends - Joe Anderson, Jim Sturgess The Citadel DLC

“What do you see when you turn out the light? I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends”

I happen to prefer this version to any other because of how much fun it sounds like they’re having

58. Dark In Here - The Mountain Goats Priority: Earth

“Steal away at sundown, pick a place to hide Check for signs of ambush, hunker down inside Tired of running, tired of never standing still Hear them riding up the hill“

You know I had to get the Goats in here. Would it be a fan playlist if there wasn’t one?

59. Adieu - Yoko Kanno Leaving your Love Interest/Shepard and the Beam

“My love for you burns deep inside me / So strong Embers of times we had And now, here I stand / Lost in a memory I see your face, and smile”

...do I need to say more than that?

60. My Way (Minor Key) - Chase Holfelder The Indoctrination of The Illusive Man

“Regrets, I've had a few/But then again, too few to mention I did what I had to do/I saw it through, without exemption“

This cover takes this song from something I tolerate when I hear it to one of my FAVORITE songs. The frenzied way he sings the “through it all” verse is PEAK Indoctrinated TIM.

61. I’m Alive - Disturbed Refusal 

“There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice To change myself, I'd rather die/Though they will not understand”

Honestly I didn’t “get” the Refusal ending until I heard this song, then I was like, OH, I SEE IT ALL SO CLEARLY NOW. This is my favorite in-universe Shepard take on the Refusal ending. I always got it from the player’s perspective of being dissatisfied with the options, but this one puts it into the world for me. This is a Shepard who does not trust the Starchild. This is a Shepard that chooses to end things on their own terms rather than submit to their designs.

62. Machine - Regina Spektor Control 

“I collect my moments Into a correspondence With a mightier power Who just lacks my perspective And who lacks my organics And who covets my defects “

I used to have Adieu here, actually, because like Refusal, I didn’t used to GET the Control ending. Now, I do, in part thanks to hearing this song. I mean, just go look at the full lyrics. If this song hadn’t been written years before the end of Mass Effect 3, I’d swear it was a fan song for it.

63. Maybe Tomorrow - Yuki Kajiura Destroy 

“The moon is gone And the night is still so dark I'm a little bit afraid of tomorrow“

I’m a Destroy Ending person, I won’t lie. Full on “the starchild is a liar and my synthetic friends are FINE” indoctrination theory level destroy ending. But this song is not about that. It’s about the canonical destroy ending, and if you prefer a Shep that survives it, this song’s for you.

This song captures the exhaustion and melancholy of the end of a long journey so well. Shepard is afraid of what comes next, the collateral damage resulting from their actions. But they know that, at least, it’s over now. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

64. Waiting For the End - Linkin Park Synthesis

“ I know what it takes to move on I know how it feels to lie All I wanna do is trade this life for something new Holding on to what I haven't got”

This is one of my favorite songs of all time. The hardest part of ending is starting again. Oof. Gets me every single time. Shepard finding the resolve to sacrifice themself for the hope of something better, of things not going how they planned, ever, of learning to make peace with that and the people who loved them learning to carry on without them? OOF.

65. Shine - Vienna Teng Epilogue

“Shine with all the untold Hold the light given unto you Find the love to unfold In this broken world we choose“

Vienna Teng is a master of capturing life’s softer emotions, and this fits perfectly with the epilogue scene for me. Tell me again about the Shepard.

“Find the love to unfold in this broken world we choose” has to be one of the greatest lines about the human experience ever written.

[mx-myth]

Fanmixes: Yr Fvr Mst Obt Svt

So, y’all...    I’ve been sitting on this idea for a long time but I finally did it! My William Laurence/Tenzing Tharkay fanmix is now up! Tried to get it up on 8tracks but that didn’t work out, so it’s just on Spotify. It’s called Yr Fvr Mst Obt Svt, under the same name as my Tumblr user (mx-myth), and I hope you like it!

You can find it here!

More information below the cut!

I know the track lists are probably hard to read because I chose a super-fancy cursive font (because let’s be real, no one can read Laurence’s fancy gentleman handwriting except himself and Tharkay (and I would say Temeraire, but he can’t read it that small, but he knows what it looks like from their days aboard the Reliant)) so here (tracks are subject to change):

01. What Is This Feeling? - From "Wicked" Original Broadway Cast Recording/2003 (Stephen Schwartz, Kristen Chenoweth, Idina Menzel, Stephen Oremus, Alex Lacamoire)

Notes: inspired by this post by @incorrect-temeraire-quotes; when I first heard this song I heard the cover by Austin Nebbia, but as Spotify is Like That I went with the Wicked version (I didn’t know this song was from Wicked! I’ve read the book but haven’t seen the musical)

02. Take Me Anywhere (Tegan and Sara)

Notes: They literally travel around the world.

03. Stray Italian Greyhound (Vienna Teng)

Notes: Tharkay, showing up again: Can’t you just stay still and keep out of trouble

04. Do You Want Me (Dead?) (All Time Low)

Notes: Black Powder War, A Summary

05. Next Year (Two Door Cinema Club)

Notes: Tharkay, on one of his missions: *thinking about Laurence*

06. Come Back Home (Two Door Cinema Club)

Notes: Laurence and Tharkay both, Tharkay leaving again and Laurence trying to convince him to stay

07. Iris (The Goo Goo Dolls)

Notes: Every and any Laurence and Tharkay heart-to-heart and snap-out-of-it and stay-with-me

08. My Best Friend's Hot (The Dollyrots)

Notes: Tharkay (and Granby), upon seeing Laurence for the first time: Oh NO

09. One Week (Barenaked Ladies)

Notes: Laurence and Tharkay’s lovers spat

10. Time-Bomb (All Time Low)

Notes: Them, pre-sewers: I would gut you given HALF A CHANCE, NO HESITATION; Them, post-sewers: YOU’RE STUCK WITH ME NOW, WE’RE MARRIED

11. Do I Wanna Know? (Arctic Monkeys)

Notes: Tharkay, staring at Laurence: Oh no. I love him.

12. I Would Do Anything For You (Foster the People)

Notes: Tharkay: TWENTY DRAGONS. IT WAS ONLY TWENTY DRAGONS. HOW DID IT COME TO THIS. Laurence: :)

13. Miss You (Foster the People)

Notes: Laurence, while Tharkay is gone: *thinks about Tharkay*

14. This Is the Life (Two Door Cinema Club)

Notes: Laurence and Tharkay, happily living with Temeraire after Everything Has Gone Down

15. Bye Bye Bye (*NSYNC)

Notes: Laurence, simutaneously: *bi panic* *also Disaster Bi Dad™*

16. Brunettes (Do It Better) (KIDFORCE)

Notes: Honestly, this is a last minute decision I put in just for kicks. But Laurence and Tharkay are BOTH troublemakers :)

17. History Hates Loves (Oublaire) (added January 5, 2022)

Notes: My friend got me HOOKED on this song, gives me history looking back on Laurence/Tharkay vibes and also firstprince emailing vibes. See also: https://tanoraqui.tumblr.com/post/188592027832/the-fact-is-even-if-laurence-is-tragically and also https://political-dragon.tumblr.com/post/177592376015/owlsundermybed-considering-how-controversial

I also stuck a bunch of things on the cover! You’ve got the love letter, which has the title of the fanmix (contents of love letter below), Laurence’s trusty compass, an inkwell, a world map, keys, black pearls (for Temeraire), and (!) two gold rings (because they’re married) on a dark wood desk. (Image descriptions below)

Love letter:

Tenzing -

We have been getting on well enough, thank you, though not spectacularly, I must point out. Temeraire has taken to asking each day when you shall return, and each day, I regret to say, I must answer him that I do not know.

Oh, I am not even afraid to say this anymore: damn the brass! If only you could return to us at once, with haste; I confess I am getting quite lonely here. The manor has too many rooms, and they are all so empty without you. Temeraire's company has taken the edge off my longing for you, but there is only so long one can listen to politics! If only you were here to explain what this meant or what that could be interpreted as, I am sure it would not be so dull or boring.

I miss you, my darling, and for those few words I would hang; and yet I would do it, for I would not hide my love for you from the world.

                    With all my love,

                                 William Laurence

[Image descriptions:

An aerial view of a desk made of dark wood. Part of a love letter can be seen in the top left corner; it is written in fancy cursive font and the title of the fanmix, Yr Fvr Mst Obt Svt, is written below. There is an inkwell in the top right corner, and an old world map from the right side. There is a compass below the love letter. In the bottom left corner there are five black pearls. In the bottom center there are a few old skeleton keys, and in the bottom right corner are two gold rings, presumably Laurence and Tharkay’s.

An aerial view of a desk made of wood. There is old paper reaching from the top and over the bottom; fancy cursive is written on it detailing the track list. This continues onto the third and last image, where the fanmix name is written out on the bottom once more. There is a coffee cup stain on the last image.]

[kaserl]

a general terror playlist, adapted from my even longer personal one! this is a mess of genres musically, but it is in chronological order! tracklist and associated scenes/lyrics below the cut (some songs fit completely, for others only the lyrics I listed are really relevant). thanks to @dedraconesilet for helping me place some of these and screaming with me about the terror! Restless- Cold War Kids (Discovery Service|now you’re wired and you’re tired/there is never a break/you only come alive at the thrill of the chase/no, we can’t help it/we’re always restless/we already know the ending) Ends of the Earth-Lord Huron (leaving Greenhithe|out there’s a land that time don’t command/wanna be the first to arrive//to the ends of the earth would you follow me?/there’s a world that was meant for our eyes to see//maybe I’m headin’ to die but I’m still gonna try/I guess I’m goin’ alone) Into the Wild- Lewis Watson (last sighting in Baffin Bay|and we take another step into the truly unknown/don’t know why but it’s somewhere that we have to go/and it’s dangerously wonderful/so come on, come on, come on, come on/step out into the wild) Boat Song- Woodkid (sailing through Peel Sound|can we keep our bearing straight/or will we be blown off course/are we instruments of fate?/do we really have a choice?) Jesus Christ- Brand New (“will I fly? up to God?”|and I will die all alone/and when I arrive I won’t know anyone/well, Jesus Christ, I’m not scared to die/I’m a little bit scared of what comes after) We Are- Peter Bradley Adams (parties set out to look for leads|we wait for our luck to change/and hope to come//we just watch the seasons change/and wait for the storm to break/and the land to come) North- Sleeping At Last (“the western team must be nearly home now”|we will call this place our home//let the years we’re here be kind, be kind/let our hearts, like doors, open wide, open wide) Make a Shadow- Meg Myers (“funny to think of this place as home, isn’t it?”|don’t tell me this is home) Waves- Dean Lewis (the reindeer|I watched my wild youth disappear in front of my eyes/moments of magic and wonder/it seems so hard to find/is it ever coming back again//take me back to the feeling when/everything was left to find) Can’t Stop Time- Goodnight Neverland (“we’ve seen worse than this, you and me”|you can’t stop time/we’re getting older so you close your eyes/regretting everything you left behind) Spirit Cold- Tall Heights (Crozier standing alone between Terror and Erebus|how do I wake my spirit cold?/we always say when our history’s told/if only we knew the things we know/there’s a question ages old) I Of the Storm- Of Monsters and Men (“there’s a spare captain on Erebus”|are you really going to need me/when I’m gone/I fear you won’t/I fear you don’t) Hate on Fire- Ben Hazelwood (Gibson ends things with Hickey|I won’t follow you down this road/yeah, we both know just where it goes) Heavy Hangs the Crown- Samantha Farrell (“I’ve never wanted anything as little as I want this now”|you don’t know a thing/about the trouble that I’m in/fall without a sound/heavy hangs the crown) Holocene- Bon Iver (“do you not feel what has happened?”|and at once I knew I was not magnificent/strayed above the highway aisle/(jagged vacance, thick with ice)/I could see for miles, miles, miles) The Breaking Light- Vienna Teng (Ross in the admiralty scene|let your lion heart cleave the waves/brother you will return//so listen to the darkness, listen to the patterns/listen to the breathing sea/listen to the colors, carry them inside you/they will bring you back to me) Storm Song- PHILDEL (Lady Jane organizing her own rescue|even though the landscape stretches like a hard day/even though the old man says I have a fool’s plan/oh, despite the distance, you will see my footprints/I will raise my flagpole, I will turn these tables ‘round/I’ll send a storm to capture your heart and bring you home) Metal & Dust- London Grammar (“Miss Cracroft, who rejected you?”|and so, you built a life on trust/though it starts, with love and lust/and when your house, begins to rust/oh, it’s just, metal and dust/we argue, we don’t fight) Lover/Soldier- Washington (“I have no intention of becoming a captain’s wife”|lover, you’re a soldier, you’re a long, long way from home/a long way from your mother, and you do it on our own/I don’t belong to you, and you don’t belong to me/I don’t think we need to, ‘cause it’s just so easy) That’s Okay- The Hush Sound (“with me you’ve never hesitated to be plain”|you are broken and callow/cautious and safe/you are boundless and beauty/with fright in your face/until someone loves you/I’ll keep you safe/but like them, I will give you away) I Am Not Yours- Z. Randall Stroope (Crozier pining over Sophia|I am not yours, not lost in you/although I long to be//you love me, and I find you still/a spirit beautiful and bright) Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap (“much to do on Terror is all, sir”|where are we? what the hell is going on?/the dust has only just begun to fall/crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling/spin me ‘round again and rub my eyes/this can’t be happening) The Hunger in Your Haunt- Crywolf (Hickey gives Gibson Young’s ring|where are all the things that you have toiled all your life for?/was it me you wanted when you said you/wanted something more than what you knew?) I’ll Be Good- Jaymes Young (Crozier decides to stop drinking|my past has tasted bitter for years now/so I wield an iron fist/grace is just weakness/or so I’ve been told/I’ve been cold, I’ve been merciless/but the blood on my hands scares me to death/maybe I’m waking up today) I Will Try-Deaf Havana (Crozier’s intervention|and I will try my best to find a smile/and I will close my eyes and say I’m not afraid/and it’s time that I was clear of all the negativity that I hold so dear/I lost my sight for far too long to take my mind off all my fears/but I found my way again) Look After You- The Fray (“you needn’t worry for a thing, sir”|I’ll look after you/it’s always have and never hold/you’ve begun to feel like home) Trout Heart Replica- Amanda Palmer (Goodsir feeding Jacko from the tins|and killing things is not so hard/it’s hurting that’s the hardest part/and when the wizard gets to me/I’m asking for a smaller heart/and if he tells me “no”/I’ll hold my breath until I hit the floor/eventually I know I’m doomed to get what I am asking for) Give Me A Sign-Breaking Benjamin (Crozier in withdrawal|I’ll keep you alive/if you show me the way/forever–and ever/the scars will remain/I’m falling apart/leave me here forever in the dark/God help me I’ve come undone/out of the light of the sun) Keep Breathing- Ingrid Michaelson (Crozier on the upswing|but all that I know is I’m breathing/all I can do is keep breathing/all we can do is keep breathing now) Organs- Of Monsters and Men (Silna trying to take her father’s place|I should not care but I don’t know how/so I take off my face/because it reminds me how it all went wrong/and I pull out my tongue/because it reminds me how it all went wrong) Bleachless- Elizabeth Grace (Goodsir looking at Jacko’s body|‘cause when your life’s on the table/then there’s not much left to hide/begging for contagion/these hospitals won’t save us/and when these toxins leave us/it’s sad when we’ll be bleachless/'cause all you have to say/is that it’s gonna get better/it’s gonna get better/but it never does) Comes and Goes (In Waves)- Greg Laswell (Crozier’s speech at Carnivale|this one’s for the lonely, the ones that seek and find/only to be let down time after time/this one’s for the torn down, the experts at the fall/come on friends, get up now, you’re not alone at all) Runaway- The National (Stanley’s suicide|there’s no saving anything/how we swallow the sun/but I won’t be no runaway/'cause I won’t run//we got another thing coming undone/and it’s taking us over/ we don’t bleed when we don’t fight) Forest Fire- Brighton (fire|I keep imagining those flames that did rise/and blackened up the sky/the light that showed you barefoot in the snow/and then the fire started building up inside/exploding blinding lights/now I’m the one left screaming through the night//I’m gonna carry your bones/I’m gonna carry them all/I’m gonna carry you home) Stay Alive- José González (the dawn after Carnivale|I will stay with you tonight/hold you close 'til the morning light/in the morning watch a new day rise/we’ll do whatever just to stay alive) We Are Broken- Paramore (“these men need names yet”|'cause we are broken/what must we do to restore/our innocence/and oh, the promise we adored/give us life again/'cause we just wanna be whole) The Ice Is Getting Thinner- Death Cab for Cutie (abandoning ship|we’re not the same, dear, as we used to be/the seasons have changed and so have we/there was little we could say, and even less that we could do/to stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you) Sleeping Sickness- City And Colour (“horrible from supper”|someone come and, someone come and save my life/maybe I’ll sleep when I am dead/but now it’s like the night is taking sides/with all the worries that occupy the back of my mind/could it be this misery will suffice?) Disarm- The Civil Wars (Hickey realizes something’s wrong with the tinned food|the killer in me is the killer in you/send this smile over to you) Follow You- Bring Me the Horizon (Crozier helping Fitzjames up the ice|my head is haunting me and my heart feels like a ghost/I need to feel something, cause I’m still so far from home//so you can drag me through Hell/if it meant I could hold your hand) People Help the People- Birdy (more hand-holding|people help the people/and if you’re homesick/give me your hand and I’ll hold it) Medicine- Daughter (Morfin’s death|pick it up, pick it all up/and start again/you’ve got a second chance/you could go home/escape it all/it’s just irrelevant/it’s just medicine) This Woman’s Work- Greg Laswell (Goodsir’s panic attack|I know you have a little life in you yet/I know you have a lot of strength left/I should be crying, but I just can’t let it show/I should be hoping but I can’t stop thinking) Calm My Soul- Paper Route (Irving’s death|I’ve seen too much this year/I long for it to pass/the type of memories/that turn our heart to glass//in dust my ribs were formed/and I’ll return again/calm my soul) Helplessness Blues- Fleet Foxes (“do you know how I was appointed to this expedition?”|what’s my name, what’s my station, oh, just tell me what I should do/I don’t need to be kind to the armies of night that would do such injustice to you/or bow down and be grateful and say “sure, take all that you see”/to the men who move only in dimly-lit halls and determine my future for me) Dance to Another Tune- First Aid Kit (“I’m a fake, brother”|will you look at me?/take a good look at me and tell me who/it is that I am//everything is tiresome, everything grows old/with each secret revealed, there’s another to be told) We Don’t Eat- James Vincent McMorrow (“my father was a ridiculous man”|me, I was holding all of my secrets soft and hid/pages were folded, then there was nothing at all/so if in the future I might need myself a savior/I’ll remember what was written on that wall/that we don’t eat until your father’s at the table) Surrender the Night- My Chemical Romance (I didn’t know any of that|you surrender your heart/I surrender every dream/every weapon you’ve got/every secret that I keep) See Through- Pentatonix (“I’ve never said it out loud before now”|all of me uncharted/begs to be explored//I am see through, baby/and I don’t wanna hide/for the very first time) Unclear- Kodaline (“I always felt I deserved more”|when the future’s so unsure/when the future’s so unclear/so you swallow your heart and you swallow your pride/you gotta be tough if you wanna survive/they’ll chew you up and they’ll eat you alive/you shouldn’t give up on the dreams in your mind) Neptune- Sleeping At Last (“are we brothers, Francis?”|a strong wind at my back/so I lift up the only sail that I have/this tired white flag//I’m only honest when it rains/an open book with a torn out page/and my ink’s run out/I want to love you but I don’t know how) Brothers on a Hotel Bed- Death Cab for Cutie (Fitzjames looking at his bullet wounds|you may tire of me as our December sun is setting because I’m not who I used to be/no longer easy on the eyes but these wrinkles masterfully disguise/the youthful boy below who turned your way and saw/something he was not looking for: both a beginning and an end/but now he lives inside someone he does not recognize/when he catches his reflection on accident) human-Christina Perri (“worst kind of sorry”|I’m only human/and I crash and I break down/your words in my head, knives in my heart/you build me up and then I fall apart) Paint Me Black- Ben Hazelwood (“every man lies”|changing, rearranging/under your call, we all fall/just know that I won’t follow you further/I’m taking over, I’m now the leader) I’ll Follow You- Shinedown (“more than God loves them”|the first step is the one you believe in/the second one might be profound/I’ll follow you down through the eye of the storm/don’t worry I’ll keep you warm) All Fall Down- OneRepublic (walking out|yeah God love your soul and your aching bones/take a breath, take a step, meet me down below/everyone’s the same/our fingers to our toes/we just can’t get it right/but we’re on the road) Stay Gold- First Aid Kit (walking out|what if to love and be loved’s not enough?/what if I fall and can’t bear to get up?/oh, I wish, for once, we could stay gold) Soldier On- The Temper Trap (walking out|all that is gold is rusting/no one will know/when seasons cease to change and:/how far we’ve gone/how far we’re going/it’s the here and the now/and the love for the sound/of the moments that keep us moving) Chin Up- Copeland (Fitzjames collapses|back to where we started/losing who we were/everybody knows that/you’d break your neck to keep your chin up) Old Wounds- PVRIS (“there is time”|they say don’t open old wounds/but this is still brand new/and I’ve got nothing left to lose besides you/and I’ve already lost you once) Landfill- Daughter (Hickey killing Gibson|leave me in the rain/wait until my clothes cling to my frame/wipe away your tear stains/thought you said you didn’t feel pain/well this is torturous electricity/between both of us and this is/dangerous, 'cause I want you so much/but I hate your guts) Save Yourself- Birdy (“my body… use it”|heaven knows, heaven knows/there’s no way to save us/look at what we have become/empty hearts that spare no one/save yourself my darling/just be gone by morning) You’re Not Alone- Saosin (“God wants you to live”|you’re not alone/there is more to this, I know/you can make it out/you will live to tell) The Way It Ends- Landon Pigg (“help me out of it”|this is the way it ends/don’t tell me it’s meaningless//you held me and taught me how/I think I am ready now/if this is the way it ends/this is the way it’s meant to be) Goner- Twenty One Pilots (eye contact|I’m a goner, somebody catch my breath/I wanna be known by you) Carry You Home- James Blunt (Fitzjames dies|as strong as you were, tender you go/I’m watching you breathing for the last time/a song for your heart, but when it is quiet/I know what it means and I’ll carry you home) Corpse Roads- Keaton Henson [not on spotify] (“we both know what’s coming for me”|and don’t lie, don’t lie/don’t lie, I know we’re fixing to die/and I’ll be like this 'til the long sleeper cry/and I won’t give in, we’ll be dead in the eyes/and I’ll see the dark things that you all try to hide/and I won’t be the damnedest bit fucking surprised The Light Behind Your Eyes- My Chemical Romance (“at least love me enough to admit it”|never let them take the light behind your eyes/I’ll fail and lose this fight/never fade in the dark/just remember you will always burn as bright//when I’m here, no longer/you must be stronger) No Sound But the Wind- Editors (Peglar collapses|if I say shut your eyes/if I say look away/bury your face in my shoulder/think of a birthday/the things you put in your head/they will stay here forever/our blood is cold/and we’re alone, love/but I’m alone with you) Be Still- The Killers (“give me forty minutes”|be still/close your eyes/soon enough you’ll be on your own/steady and straight/and if they drag you through the mud/it doesn’t change what’s in your blood/(over rock, over chain, over trap, over plain)/when they knock you down/don’t break character) Cemetery- Say Anything (Hickey eating Gibson|you’re in my body/that’s where I think about you) White Foxes- Susanne Sundfør (“I’m hungry and I want to live”|hunger, hunger, is the purest sin/it is an empty church in a crowded bin) Sword and the Pen- Regina Spektor (“I love the C”|for those who still can recall/the desperate colors of fall/the sweet caresses of May/only in poems remain/no one recites them these days/for the shame/so what if nothing is safe/so what if no one is saved/no matter how sweet/no matter how brave/what if each to his own lonely grave/I don’t want to live without you) One Last Time- Jaymes Young (Bridgens holding Peglar’s hand|could I feel your skin on mine/before I have to say goodbye/could I breathe, please, one last time/you’re in my lungs before I curl up/and die) Fires- Allman Brown (Bridgens walks away to die|in a torch there’s a thousand years unknown/voices tell me a truth I nearly know/this will all soon be memory/I was made in the fires/of your care for me//and I will find you in the next life) Be Still- The Fray (“you can lie there, not feeling well, while I try and cheer you up”|be still and know that I’m with you/be still and know that I am here) Come Back When You Can- Barcelona (Sophia in the snow|come back when you can/let go, you’ll understand/you’ve done nothing at all to make me love you less/so come back when you can) Saturn- Sleeping At Last (“this place is beautiful to me even now”|with shortness of breath, I’ll explain the infinite/how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist) If I Be Wrong- Wolf Larsen (Little and Le Vesconte go south|and what if I can’t, what if I can/what if I’m just an ordinary man/if there is a will, there is a way/I will escape for sure, I am David Blaine//and I have been wrong, I have been right/I have been both these things all in the same night) Tether- CHVRCHES (Jopson’s death|where’d you go, you were there by my side/keep believing it’s my turn to hide/in a place where we don’t have a prayer/there’s a tether that’s keeping me there) Two Evils- Bastille (“I didn’t have anywhere near an equal on this expedition, but you”|there are two ways to skin tonight/let’s see whose road gets there faster/this is a game, no wrongs, no right/only a winner and a loser/you and I, oh you and I/we’re not that different, you and I) Jupiter- Sleeping At Last (Goodsir’s suicide|I don’t know who I am, but now I know who I’m now//make my messes matter/make this chaos count/let every little fracture in me/shatter out loud) Bleeding Out- Imagine Dragons (Goodsir’s suicide|I’m bleeding out/so if the last thing that I do/is bring you down/I’ll bleed out for you/so I bare my skin/and I count my sins/and I close my eyes/and I take it in) Somebody to Die For- Hurts (“give me your gun, I’m the best shot here”|and I will let the devil know that/I was brave enough to die/and there’s no hell that he can show me/that’s deeper than my pride) The Keeper- Kina Grannis (Crozier muttering the names of his men|sand and stone, struggles to claim and own/(take my burden, I can’t bear the weight)/wars lost won, promises come undone/(I’ve been fighting, trying not to break)/nobody has to know//I will be your keeper) How’m I Supposed to Die- Civil Twilight (the last men falling|and the flesh that used to tingle/has turned a marble blue?/and you tell me that/we can never go back/what am I to say to that?//there’s only one thing left to do) Everything That Dies- Matthew and the Atlas (Crozier finding the last camps|you said everyone you know one day will surely die/but everything that dies in some way returns) Voices Off Camera- Rise Against (”close?”|we either choose to follow or be left on our own/so we’re leaving here on a less-travelled road/as desperate cries grow louder, I know we’re getting close, getting close) Friends Are Dead- Dresses (Crozier walking away with Silna|I’m wandering saintless debris/'cause the saints they arose/heaven took them home/and now I am lonely/this is how it ends, all my friends are dead/I know that I fucked up, the life of a cultural/how can I pretend that everything’s alright/when no one can find me alone in this wasteland?) Lovely- Billie Eilish (“decide in the spring”|isn’t it lovely? all alone/heart made of glass, my mind of stone/tear me to pieces, skin to bone/hello, welcome home/walking out of time/looking for a better place) I Am Only One- We Are the Fallen (Silna leaves|I’m on my own here/and no one’s left to be the hero of/this fairy tale gone wrong/as night will fall, my heart will die alone/ever after never came/and I’m still waiting for my heart to beat again/and all the dreams I’ve laid to rest/are ghosts that keep me/after all that I’ve become/I am only one) Ghost Towns- Radical Face (Crozier in the Arctic|'cause all my life is wrapped up in today/no past or future here/if I find my name’s no good/I just fall out of line/but I miss you/but there’s no comin’ home/there’s no comin’ home/with a name like mine) Exile- Show of Hands (Crozier in the Arctic|I can dream before the break of day/that I’m back with you again/then the morning blows it all away/and leaves an echo of your name/still a thousand miles lie between us/where we’re waking up alone/and what if I could cross a thousand borders/there’s no going home) Until the End- Breaking Benjamin (Crozier chooses to stay|why give up, why give in?/it’s not enough, it never is/so I will go on until the end/we’ve become desolate/it’s not enough, it never is/but I will go on until the end) Hurt- Johnny Cash (“we are gone”|what have I become/my sweetest friend/everyone I know goes away/in the end/and you could have it all/my empire of dirt/I will let you down/I will make you hurt) Bring Me Home-Fahrenhaidt (Crozier walks away|will you find, will you find, will you find me alone?/when you’re far out over the water I’ll be there too/will you find, will you find, will you find me and bring me home?/are you lost/are you chasing hollow dreams/are you lost/was it worth forsaking me?) The Ocean- The Bravery (Crozier and Ross|I climbed up a mountain, and looked off the edge/at all of the lives that I never have led/there’s one where I stayed with you across the sea/I wonder do you still think of me/I carry your image always in my head/folded and yellowed and torn at the edge/and I’ve looked upon it for so many years/slowly I am losing your face) In the Wind- Lord Huron (Robert Goodsir aboard Felix|you’ve been gone for a long long time/you’ve been in the wind, you’ve been on my mind/you are the purest soul I’ve ever known in my life//when you left I was far too young/to know you’re worth more than the moon and the sun/you are still alive when I look to the sky in the night) Frozen Oceans- Shiny Toy Guns (those left behind|ten thousand miles apart/a frozen ocean joins our hearts/I can’t wait to meet you when/the frozen waves meet ocean floors/you’ll be standing on the shore/I can’t wait to meet you then) Come Home- OneRepublic (those left behind|come home, come home/'cause I’ve been waiting for you/for so long, so long) Fields of Gold- Celtic Woman (nostalgia|you’ll remember me when the west wind moves/among the fields of barely/you can tell the sun in his jealous sky/when we walked in fields of gold) Arctic- Sleeping At Last (the last shot of Crozier)

[merlinsbed]

I’m listening to my wangxian playlist (and procrastinating on watching a documentary for my cultural anthropology class) and having lots of feelings about it so have some rambling about some of my favorite songs (this is gonna be long so most of it is going under a cut):

Without You by Ursine Vulpine, Annaca I think is like perfect for the 16 (13 if we’re going with book) years when wwx was dead. beginning of the song puts me in mind of the end of the bloodbath at nightless city when wwx dies and then his grief in the aftermath of it (this is like my absolute favorite song for them rn I mean the lyrics “can you hear my cry / and oh lullaby / drifting through the sky” definitely makes me think of lwj playing inquiry looking for wwx and the ending lyrics are so good omg: “I don’t wanna live a life without you / I will watch the world burn without you” the whole song is incredible though seriously)

My Medea by Vienna Teng, in addition to being one of favorite songs in general, I think is a great song for wwx, probably during the burial mounds era? “no haven for this heart / no shelter for this child in mazes lost / heaven keep us apart / a curse for every mile of ocean crossed / for I must die for what I’ve done / a twist of fate a desert sun / for I see what I destroy” just gets me every time I listen to it

Tightrope from The Greatest Showman I think is fantastic from lwj’s perspective I mean like the LYRICS “hand in my hand and we promise to never let go / we’re walking a tightrope / high in the sky we can see the whole world down below / we’re walking a tightrope / never sure never know how far we could fall / but it’s all an adventure that comes with a breathtaking view”. it kind of puts me in mind of the single log bridge line

And So My Heart Became a Void by Ursine Vulpine, Annaca is another good tragic one imo, more from wwx’s pov. “oh my love what have I done / there’s nowhere left for us to run / and I was standing in the sunlight / and I can’t bear the sight of you / oh my lover what’s on your mind / you’re caught between two ways of life” just. ugh. I love it

Labyrinthine Heart by Sleepthief (feat. Jody Quine) I think really captures their relationship pre wwx’s death when there are so many obstacles keeping them apart “It’s the loving way / that you say my name all the time / I can feel / night with you by my side / but will darkness release me / I hear you cry / locked away in your cage / and I want to try but I’m caught / in this maze of design” also “through the corridor / yours forever more and you’re mine / I can see / daylight with you by my side / and no walls to enclose me” god at this rate I’m gonna quote the whole song lmao I can’t help it it’s all just so beautiful!

Us vs Them (The City Will End Tonight) by Denmark + Winter is really good post resurrection imo. “it’s us against the world / I won’t let you down” like enough said right? I mean it’s LITERALLY lwj and wwx against the entire cultivation world at one point!

Lovers Death by Ursine Vulpine, Annaca is actually one I go back and forth on a bit because I’m not 100% sure the chorus fits but the VERSES ARE SO GOOD “I’ve seen what love looks like / I’ve seen it’s beauty when it’s alive / I was roaming in it’s paradise / it’s gold it’s blue it’s in the skies / but I am a witness to love’s death / there’s no blood there’s no body there’s nothing left / oh my darling don’t you ever forget I wasn’t prepared for the end” again I think it works really well for nightless city when wwx dies. and listen I will freely admit that I’ve like imagined that whole scene while listening to that song and it is so. fricken. tragic. it just. it just ups the tragedy factor of wwx’s death by a million

Rewrite The Stars from The Greatest Showman with lwj as zac efron and wwx as zendaya. like the thing I love about the live action that puts it at the top for me in terms of favorite adaptation is the whole star crossed lovers thing it has going on between wwx and lwj in wwx’s first life which rewrite the stars captures so well. it specifically puts me in mind of the time during the sunshot campaign up to wwx defecting after the phoenix mountain hunt with lwj trying so hard to help wwx and be there for him even though he doesn’t understand the whole situation (because wwx doesn’t TELL him) and wwx wanting lwj there but also not wanting to hurt him and like lqr doing his best to keep them apart and I could keep going

Carry You by Ruelle and Fleurie is a beautiful somewhat tragic somewhat hopeful love song from lwj to wwx post resurrection imo. “you are not alone / I’ve been here the whole time singing you a song / I will carry you” is the chorus and just UGH lwj always being there to catch wwx when he falls, refusing to leave his side even when it means turning against everything he’s ever known, like I just think it really captures the steadfast devotion he shows wwx, the sheer depths of his love

Closer by Mike Perry, Sonic Avenue, Hot Shade (Feat. Mikayla) is another song that I think captures the pining of their relationship during wwx’s first life, post war. “can we go back to that summer / when we just had each other / I still hear the song in my heart” puts me in mind of reminiscing about their days in cloud recesses, simpler happier times when they didn’t feel like they had the weight of the world on their shoulders. the whole song gives me a bittersweet, longing feeling like I picture wwx lying awake at night in the burial mounds thinking back on those days and trying not to become overwhelmed with longing

Never Look Away by Vienna Teng is another good one. “Let me uncover the silver in your dark hair / the weight of your bones / I want to witness the beauty of your repair / the shape you’ve grown / for you are made of nebulas and novas and night sky / you’re made of memories you bury or live by” I tend to think of it being from lwj to wwx but it also works the other way imo as well but like these LYRICS GUYS “so if you’re out there in the cold / I’ll cover you in moonlight / if you’re a stranger to your soul / I’ll bring you to your birthright / I want the storm inside you awoken now / I want your warm bright eyes / to come back to me / and hold on to me / you know that I won’t lie”

that’s not the whole playlist but these are my current favorites (especially the ones by ursine vulpine with annaca performing vocals I highly recommend the whole album it’s only 5 songs and they’re all amazing)

[khunfounded]

Song Analysis Double Feature

This time we are looking at two songs by the wonderful artist Vienna Teng. Two because they are both relatively short lyric wise and they fit Khun’s perspective.

These songs are Nothing Without You and Harbor!

The first song we’re looking at, birdies, is Nothing Without You which fits Khun after he finds out Bam is alive but does not know where or who he is.

It's the quiet night that breaks me I can not stand the sight of this familiar place It's the quiet night that breaks me Like a dozen paper cuts that only I can trace All my books are lying useless now All my maps will only show me how to lose my way

When Khun discovers that Bam is alive, he has been stuck carrying the weight of Bam’s would-be murderer just to fulfill his “dead” friend’s wish.

He has once more built walls high and fierce around him in order to protect himself from her and any other threats. The one person that managed to bypass those walls before slipped through his fingertips and into the abyss, so he slammed the door shut on everyone else.

The quiet breaks him, because if Bam was there, there would be noise. We all know and love that headcanon where they share a bedroom, and I like to think that fits here. He traces all the good memories they had together and they hurt now, cutting against his skin.

Khun is a strategist. His books and his maps are key to his survival, but what is survival like if you cannot really live? They do nothing to help him solve the problem behind his ribs.

Oh, call my name, you know my name And in that sound, everything will change Tell me it won't always be this hard I am nothing without you But I don't know who you are

This fits so well because Khun found out who Viole was when Viole called his name. In that sound, everything changed. The one truth that guided Khun’s life for years, Bam’s death, turned out to be a lie. But in this case, a lie actually saves him.

Now everything Khun thought he had lost, he can gain.

Here, he is begging with Bam to tell him that they can be together again, without FUG and the rest of the tower coming between them. Just the two of them, side by side. 

Without Bam, Khun feels hollow. He’s just playing his role. But with Bam he can allow himself to let go and flourish.

Yet, Khun doesn’t truly know who Bam is anymore because they have been through so much alone for so long. Bam is no longer just Bam. He’s Jyu Viole Grace, the Slayer Candidate, too. Khun and Bam will have to relearn each other again.

It's the crowded room that breaks me Everybody looks so luminous, and strangely young It's the crowded room that's never heard No one here can say a word of my native tongue I can't be among them any more I fold myself away before it burns me numb

Here I imagine that this is at the beginning of the Workshop Battle. They are so close, but Khun cannot reveal himself or he forfeits his chance to save Viole.

I adore “No one here can say a word of my native tongue”. It’s Khun saying, no matter the time, no matter the distance, the only one who truly understands me is you.

Now that he knows Bam is alive, he cannot just be a shell, playing at the cunning Khun prodigy, he has to accept the part of him that is just Aguero. 

This song is very much about Aguero being stripped of his defenses and struggling with how to be vulnerable again.

Now onto our next song!

Harbor is a much more upbeat song, and it fits into when Khun and Bam are finally back together as a team.

We're here, where the daylight begins The fog on the streetlight slowly thins Water on water's the way The safety of shoreline fading away

The daylight, the time where they are once again together, has begun, but there is still trouble on the horizon coming from all sides.

Khun is happy being with Bam, but he knows that soon they will have to separate again so they can both grow. The safe haven they created together has to be left in order for them to keep going up the tower.

Sail your sea, meet your storm All I want is to be your harbor The light in me will guide you home All I want is to be your harbor I think Khun very much wants to be Bam’s harbor: the person he can go to anytime, his confidant, his solace. So he tells Bam, “go on, do what you must, but don’t forget that I’m here whenever you need me.”

This is especially lovely because Khun is a lighthouse bearer, so he is the harbor even in battle. (Plus lighthouse bearers and wave controllers are the strongest two person team wOw SIU that’s pretty gay)

Fear is the brightest of signs The shape of the boundary you leave behind So sing all your questions to sleep The answers are out there in the drowning deep Here, Khun is saying that Bam is allowed to be afraid, no matter how many people tell him that he is a an emotionless monster, a weapon. He can have his questions and his nightmares and that’s alright. Bam is a human, with human emotions, and Khun will make sure he knows that.

You've got a journey to make There's a horizon to chase So go far beyond where we stand No matter the distance, I'm holding your hand

Sail your sea, meet your storm All I want is to be your harbor The light in me will guide you home All I want is to be your harbor

Khun is pushing Bam to follow his heart and do what needs doing, but at the same time assuring him that he will always be there with him.

[my-least-favorite-savior]

Tagged by @puffbadgersandbees

(1.) name / nickname

I’ve gone by many, but you can call me SJ.

(2.) gender

is fake. But I’m a woman.

(3.) star sign

#gemini

(4.) height

5’4

(5.) time

10:00pm. I’m late for bed because of this.

(6.) birthday

June 10th.

(7.) favorite band/groups

Passenger, Imagine Dragons, Bastille

(8.) favorite solo artists:

Vienna Teng, Gabrielle Aplin, S.J. Tucker, P!nk, Peter Hollens, Regina Spektor

(9.) song stuck in my head

There isn’t one, at the moment. The last song I played on Apple Music was “Be Alright” by Dean Lewis.

(10.) last movie

Wall-E. Rewatching it was actually one of the first things I did with my new Disney+ subscription.

(11.) last show

Old school Simpsons (season 7? Season 8? There was a gay joke that would not have flown after like 2008.)

(12.) when did I create this blog?

Like a year ago ish? I’ve been on tumblr since 2012, though.

(13.) what do I post?

Critical Role, occasionally The Untamed, and miscellaneous.

(14.) last thing I googled:

“mr burns excellent gif”

If gif searches don’t count, I looked up the pronunciation of 夏 because although I’m still very early on in my Mandarin studies, I could instantly tell that my audiobook was mangling it.

(15.) other blogs

I have three side-blogs:

@alldragonsaresluts-liveblogs for live-blogging;

@archdemonblood for Dragon Age drama (on the rare occasion that I want to engage in it anymore);

[not a Secret, but I’m not posting it here] for weight loss ranting and fitspo. It’s also where I was putting XiYao content for a bit, but I’ll think I’ll move that back over here and let that blog just be for health, wellness, and fitness stuff.

(16.) do I get asks?

Not even when I explicitly ask for them.

(17.) why did I choose this url?

It combines three of my favorite things: adult animation, high fantasy, and sexuality.

(18.) following

41

(19.) followers

81

(20.) average hours of sleep

I probably average 7 hours a night tbh. It’s something I’m trying to be better about in 2021.

(21.) lucky number

My first thought is 15. Let’s go with it.

(22.) instruments:

Nah. I’ve always wanted to learn piano, but frankly it’s lower on the list than drawing and cooking and Tai Chi and the four foreign languages I’m studying. I’d also like to get better at knitting.

(23.) what I’m wearing:

An athletic wear tank top that I cut into a crop top and my softest pair of leggings

(24.) dream job

I do not dream about jobs.

(25.) dream trip

I’m on a China kick right now. China.

I’d love to go back to Austria though and maybe hit Switzerland while I’m there.

And I’ve always wanted to see Russia, but probably not in the winter.

It feels like fate keeps drawing me to New Zealand and then just going “nah, not yet.” So. Someday, New Zealand.

Also, New York City. I wouldn’t call it a dream, but I’ve *got* to go to New York City. It’s ridiculous that I’ve been to London, Prague, and Jerusalem, but not New York City. I’m American.

(26.) favorite food

I’m a sugar addict, so probably ice cream.

(27.) nationality

American

(28.) favorite song

You know, I actually hate being asked this fucking question, and I was doing some soul-searching today about why that is, and the answer is, of course, my mother.

That’s my answer to that question in full.

(29.) last book I read:

Hahaha nothing shameful if that’s what you’re implying. Unrelated, DO NOT put your coats in that closet. It is already full of something that definitely ISN’T skeletons.

(30.) three fictional universes you’d like to live in:

Exandria, duh. Magic and gays as far as the eye can see.

Thedas, but only if I get to be a mage. (Gonna instantly put in for a transfer to the Hossberg Circle, too.)

Listen. Listen. I’d still live in the HP universe if I could. Honestly? Less fucked than the real world.

Tagging: @dragon-in-drag @zezlemet @kierkegarden @starlightomatic and anyone who would like to take this opportunity to introduce themselves to me. I’ve already made one friend this (academic) year. Who knows? Maybe I’m on a hot streak and I’ll make another.

You are under zero obligation to do this if I tagged you. I promise, I will not be upset if you are busy. Only do this if you want to. Be free.

[hua-fei-hua]

,,,chapter #game 16 37 22 uhh 15

15 is rhythm chapter 5, coming out on monday!!! it’s titled bubble tea~

summary:

I can't explain this kind of love It pulls me to you, I want it, I can't get enough So share this precious life with me Just take my hand and let's enjoy the things that we'll see

i honestly want to make a krbk gifset of this at some point but hhh gathering all the clips would be a painnnn

here, have a snippet of the chapter~

Eijirou finally sat back. “But don’t worry, you were my best choice for a fake boyfriend.”  “Really now?” Bakugou mirrored his posture, although he made sure to differentiate himself by tossing an arm behind the back of his own chair. “Tell me why.”  Eijirou felt his brain trip over a banana peel. “Well, uh, you said ‘yes’ for one thing,” he said, scrambling to recover.

fun fact, i took kiri’s answer here from the time i went around asking all my teachers what they liked best abt their significant others. my gov teacher paused and was like, “she said yes”

16 is rhythm chapter 6, titled after funny you should ask by the front bottoms

But you were young you thought you didn't have to care about anything  But you're older now and wish that you could 'cause you were young you thought you didn't have to care about anyone  But you're older now and know that you should  It's funny you should ask, 'cause I don't remember  It's funny you should ask, I coulda been a contender

this is the first chronological event in all of the Bb au i’ve thought out so far, happening in around november of their freshman year. it details bakugou’s history with switching schools i this au. 

22 is moment ch. 14, titled never look away by vienna teng

If you’re out there in the cold…  I want your warm bright eyes  To come back to me  And hold on to me  You know I won’t lie  I will never look away 

this is actually the chapter i picked for six sentence sunday ehehehe. here, have another snippet i’m proud of~

If she’d bothered to pay attention to her thoughts, they’d at least be clearer by now, but there was so much she’d rather not think about. Chatting with Kaminari for most of the day was a lot of fun. She’d laughed so much that she’d lost count before even leaving the mall.  But it was weird.  She briefly pulled her hands out of her sleeves and breathed onto them for a second. Then, she tucked them away again and stared off into the horizon, at the distant houses on the other side of the lake, all brightly lit in a rainbow of colors.  She couldn’t quite place why, but her happiness felt weird.

37 is rhythm 15, which is in the middle of the tour arc!! titled super trouper bc all chapters of the tour arc are named after abba songs and i have almost no regrets about this decision

Super Trouper beams are gonna blind me  But I won't feel blue  Like I always do  'Cause somewhere in the crowd there's you

this chapter is fun bc it’ll be told from mina’s perspective, making it probably the only chapter in all of rhythm to be told not from kiri’s or baku’s perspectives. according to my notes and summary, it’s mostly just her and jirou bonding. 

[softfists]

I listened to Warm Strangers and Waking Hour yesterday while writing, and they were SO GOOD. Is there anything I should know about Vienna Teng's discography before I dive deeper? Any gems I should make sure to check out? Or anything else you want to share about her? I'm so glad to have found this.

YOU GENUINELY HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS ASK MAKES ME!!! :D I love Vienna so much -- I genuinely think she’s a genius and she’s such an underrated and unknown gem that whenever other people love her, I get so excited. I’ve been intending to write a VT music primer for literal years now but have never gotten around to it, so I...may have gone a little overboard here. /o\

In general things to know about Viennna: in a sentence, I’d say her songwriting is best described as musically and lyrically complex explorations of diverse themes written with the eye of an academic and the heart of a poet.

They’re great no matter how you listen to them, but closer listening tends to reveal more and more layers, so I highly recommend that. She’s a mega-nerd, in a way I think a lot of singer-songwriters usually aren’t, and that’s 100% reflected in her writing, especially the further into her discography you go. Her lyrics have always been thoughtful, but they also become more interesting, diverse, and political through successive albums. One of her great talents is telling political stories that still feel very personal, intimate, and immediate.

The other thing I really love about her and that I’d look out for is what I think of as “form-function” songwriting. In many of her songs, the lyrical themes are echoed in the music.

Anyway! After WH and WS, she has three more albums: Dreaming Through The Noise, Inland Territory, and Aims. I’ve listed some of my favorites on each, but tbh, they’re all such strong albums that I don’t think there’s a bad track on any of them.

The rest under the cut because it got too long /o\ I JUST LOVE HER A LOT OKAY.

Dreaming Through The Noise is very much a mood album, with lots of piano and strings. It’s quieter and more subdued, very polished. Favorites:

Whatever You Want - a falsely cheery passive-aggressive song about a shitty corporate boss who gets turned in by one of his workers and then divorced by his wife (she goes on curating your domestic museum / she disappears in her loyalty / she is a dress wearing a face in the doorway) .

Love Turns 40 - has AMAZING strings. Title is exactly what the song is about.

City Hall - a queer couple from out of state driving to California (I assume it’s California) to get married. Makes me teary eyed every time.

Nothing Without You - about loneliness and how it strikes in unexpected ways and places. Less musically interesting IMO but has some really lovely turns of phrase (it's the quiet night that breaks me / like a dozen paper cuts that only I can trace / all my books are lying useless now / all my maps will only show me how to lose my way)

Pontchartrain - the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Haunting music and lyrics (darling / lake Pontchartrain is haunted / bones without names / photographs framed in reeds). She plays all white keys in one hand and all black keys in the other, which produces the eerie, dissonant sound, and is a nod to the theme of the line between living and dead.

Recessional - my favorite from the album. A love story in reverse, inspired by Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Also, I have no idea if this was an intended meaning, but I’ve always read it as being about a queer woman who’s in love with her friend and is struggling with internalized homophobia.

Inland Territory is her “mixtape album”. It’s tied with Aims for my favorite and has a lot of great musical and lyrical variety. Marks a turning point for her writing more political music that’s framed by specific personal narratives.

Antebellum - a love song about a deteriorating relationship. Beautifully intricate (almost classical sounding) piano and rich strings.

Grandmother Song - a fun, raucous romp of a lecture from her grandmother about her choice to pursue music (Vienna, who’s a second gen immigrant, has a CS degree from Stanford and worked as a programmer before leaving to do music). It’s a surprisingly nuanced portrait of what it means to be an immigrant, knowing you are so much more fortunate than your parents/grandparents etc. -- even though it starts out sounding like your conservative grandmother’s outdated views on marriage and careers.

Stray Italian Greyhound - my favorite from the album, possibly my favorite VT song. A political song disguised as a love song: Vienna wrote it after being almost unwillingly inspired by Obama in 2008, about how scary it is to believe in something and want to make it happen, rather than being comfortably cynical. And then she realized that feeling was similar to the uncertainty of knowing whether a crush is reciprocated, and decided to frame it in those terms. I love the tentative staccato piano and hopeful strings on this SO MUCH.

Also this is totally James’ feelings about Thomas in a modern AU (or canon, though the tone is almost too happy for canon, even in the London-era).

No Gringo - a theoretical shoe-on-the-other-foot future where white Americans cross the border to Mexico after the US descends into chaos [looks directly into camera]. Basically an attempt to make white people more empathetic to undocumented folks.

Radio - about domestic terrorism and the tendency to tune out terrible things. It’s not explicit, but I also read it as a critique of American apathy towards the victims of American terrorism abroad (many years ago I think I read somewhere that the numbers she whispers in the bridge are victim counts from drone strikes since 9/11). Musically experimental and bold. Transition from verses to chorus sound like a radio being changed.

St. Stephen’s Cross - a fictional account of the night of the fall of the Berlin Wall. Sounds like it could be part of a short story. Lovely, sparse lyrics and a beautiful, soaring, hopeful piano chorus. Evokes the feeling of people spilling into the streets.

Aims is the album she wrote while in grad school for environmental science/sustainable enterprise. It’s more electronic and pop-y, and it’s her most political one -- she talks about capitalism, climate change, mass surveillance/data mining, and resource exhaustion. Fair warning though, if you’re the kind of person who is very politically radical, I can see why you might find her political critiques don’t go far enough. She’s very much of the belief that you need systemic change (vs. individual choice) to make a difference, but her political orientation is reformist and not revolutionary. Personally, I love the album and find the critiques she offers in her songs thoughtful, but none of them are LET’S BRING DOWN THE SYSTEM-types.

Favorites:

Level Up - an ode to secular humanism/call to action/inspiring music that is genuinely inspiring and not cheesy. About how when the world is disheartening, the best solution is to keep opening yourself up, caring, doing, creating, and asking people for help.

In the 99 - Occupy Wall Street, or Wall Street Sucks: the song. I mean:

Also contains the line “I haven’t come to say I’m sorry / but I swear I’m on your side” which, to me, captures how fucking infuriating the privileged are.

Landsailor - my favorite from Aims. She describes it as her “sustainability song”. A love song/duet between capitalism and humanity, not in the “I love capitalism” sense, but in the “It’s amazing we have all these modern comforts but the infrastructure needed to sustain the way we live comes with a price and we have to confront the inherent tension in that”. Which sounds like a recipe for a horrible dry, preachy song, but it totally works. She writes about everyday things as if they’re mystical: “cloudraker” for the internet (literally, The Cloud), “lightbringer” for artificial lighting, heating, and cooling, “deepwinter strawberry / endless summer, ever spring” about food shipping.

Close To Home - about Body Integrity Disorder, but more broadly, mental illness. That was the intended meaning, but it also reads very easily as being about (non-white) immigrants’ sense of identity in a place that will forever consider us alien. Musically just...very well-done. Has an AMAZING soundscape.

The Hymn Of Acxiom - Acxiom is a marketing company that steals your data to sell you stuff. This is a creepy techno hymn with a robot chorus, written from the perspective of the computers. Uses religious language/motifs to creepy effect.

Copenhagen (Let Me Go) - climate change generally, the failed UN climate talks in Copenhagen in 2009, specifically. Has a three-voice overlapping bit at the end.

Flyweight Love - a love song about a long distance relationship. Really, really lovely: took a flight far across the globe / found a calling sweet as a lover / through the wilderness you find in me / you are in love with all the world. Also a modern James/Thomas song (and if you OT3 them with anyone, there’s also the line: you should never have belonged to me / or should I say, not to me alone).

Goodnight New York - about New York, and leaving it. I love this for its sense of place and lived-in, homey feel: goodnight, you canyons of steel and light / twist and turn where your alleyways hide / swaying trains, sheltering dreams, and little white lies

[ichaisme]

Ink Demonth Day 9: Fave Ship

I don’t really have a fave, you just put me in front of a ship and I’ll make it work. HOWEVER, that just means I go super extra and write what has essentially amounted to Tom x Happiness with some Tom x Allison on the side, ala @a-rae-of-sunshine and her wonderful HEA AU. I... really hope I’m not too horribly OOC with this songfic.

The first time he heard the song was entirely by accident. He didn’t like having the radio on when he was trying to concentrate, and the ‘new music’ of the modern day he didn’t quite understand.

Oh no, not now

His ears perked up a bit at the voice. Okay, well… this was a little different. He could accept the song for now. Subtly, as the piano tittered a cheery yet slightly melancholy tune, he turned down the volume on the TV.

Please not now I just settled into the glass half empty Made myself at home

Speaking of glasses… His gaze dropped to his bottle, a few dregs short of empty itself. He downed it and went to the kitchen for another. Allison was already there, cooking. He could hear her humming a little tune of her own, blissfully unaware of the clash and lost in that beautiful mind of hers. He’d take her humming over any music this world could come up with, past or present.

And so why now

In an instant, things changed. The noise of the TV vanished. Allison… oh for the love of all he considered sacred, there she was. He saw her as he remembered her, no horns and all awash in color. His eyes widened, staring at her back as she faced a pot on the stove. He hesitantly reached out, only to wince and stop. A gloved hand. Even in his memories he couldn’t let himself have this…

She started to turn. He tensed.

Please not now

‘Don’t ruin this’, he begged his mind. Not this. All he had was this.

I just stopped believing in happy endings Harbors of my own

He waited for the memory to end, for her to flinch, to have to see another reminder of the past being dead and gone and impossible to fix.

But you had to come along didn't you

She did none of those things. He saw the smile that made his heart melt, quiet excitement in her eyes. Confident steps, a kiss to the side of his snout (which used to be the corner of his mouth, little teasing invitations he adored and so sorely missed), she took his hand in both of hers (it used to be both) and pulled him to the stove. Her lips moved, but he heard no words.

He didn’t need words.

She was showing him what she was working on. He’d scoff, taste, praise what she was doing, maybe get another kiss before grabbing what he wanted and leaving. The memory was so right… and yet strikingly different.

Tear down the doors, Throw open windows Oh if you knew just what a fool you have made me

They both knew this would never be. Allison didn’t remember the time before her death. The time during they wanted nothing to do with. Through all of it he stood by her side—a grumpy friend, a silent love, an invisible bond that withstood time, amnesia, even death itself.

So what do I do with this?

“Tom?”

He snapped out of his mind. Allison, his Allison, watched him worriedly.

This stray Italian greyhound These inconvenient fireworks This ice-cream-covered screaming hyperactive thought

He was leaning heavily into the wall, depending on it to keep himself upright. But when she started to approach, he pushed himself up, waving his arm placatingly. He was fine. Fine. Overwhelmed by the depth of his love for her, how little he could return, and now… whatever his mind was trying to tell him with this memory and this song. But he could easily move past this.

God I just want to lay down These colors make my eyes hurt

…Not a bad idea.

He reached for the notepad attached to what was left of his other arm (and oh, if he could move past the phantom ache of her hand in his, that would be GREAT). One word was all he needed: Nap.

She smiled softly, and his heart melted that much more. “I’ll get you when dinner is ready, alright?” He nodded.

As he trudged up, trying to quiet his racing thoughts, he spotted Henry on his way down with Bendy in tow. He raised the notepad before he could be questioned. Bendy gave him a happy wave, and Henry a pat on the shoulder. “Sleep well.”

This feeling calls for everything that I am

Despite his best efforts, he glanced in the mirror as he passed the bathroom. He grimaced.

Not.

--

The second time he heard the song, he was more prepared. Allison was out. Henry and Bendy were playing cards. He was in his shed. It started off so soft, so distant, likely trickling out the open back door from the house.

I'm not that kind

He almost wondered if the song didn’t really exist. A new way to mock his mental anguish.

I'm so good at shooting down any notion This tired world could change It's all been bought

He huffed and slammed the tool he was holding back onto the bench. Yes, he really felt mocked. He marched back to the house, but paused a moment in the window. They still played cards. Bendy appeared to be losing, if the playfully angry expression was any indication. He threw all his cards into the air. Henry managed to grab a few as they fell, but the rest simply scattered all around him. Just as playfully, he ‘lectured’ the little demon. Then he spotted him, and offered a kind smile and a wave.

Or at least that was my line

Slowly, he raised his hand back, feigning casualness until they returned to their game. A low huff of breath escaped him.

No use in spending all that emotion When there's someone else to blame

He couldn’t help but let his gaze flit towards the little demon. Only the demon… wasn’t so little anymore. He stood tall and lanky in his old form, looming over Henry… unlike his times of stress, there was no emotion to the change, he just… stood. Mockingly, so close to his dad yet…

Looking directly at him.

Fear sunk into his veins like ice as he suddenly backed up, but the moment he blinked that monstrous form disappeared, leaving Bendy in the same place he began.

But you had to come along didn't you

He gripped his chest, trying to will himself calm by sheer effort alone. If this was another memory, he didn’t want this. He didn’t want to think back on the studio, back on any of that!

Another blink.

Back at the studio.

Back at the Ink Machine.

Rev up the crowd Rewrite the rule book

He looked to his side, watching Allison wait with bated breath, heard her cry out Henry’s name, and a sick feeling came over him. This isn’t like when he remembered his past with Allison. No, here… here he had no control.

It’s otherworldly. He can feel his confusion, his anger, his fear rolling off him in waves, but he’s helpless to stop himself, can only scream with no voice to wait, to LISTEN, for ONCE. Of course he doesn’t hear. The feelings seem to meld together. ‘NO, STOP!’ one yells, even while the other side insists that this is wrong, the Ink Demon hasn’t changed, will never change.

A third thought, quieter than the others, emerges. When did his views change?

Where do I go when every 'no' turns into 'maybe'

He leaves the dream with a gasp as his fist connects with Henry’s back.

“Tom?!”

The former animator is staring at him, eyes wide with concern as he trembles where he stands. He spots Bendy just behind him, worry also on his face. Of all the things he didn’t want to talk about, especially around the little demon, song-triggered memories topped it. He fixed a frown to his face and made a ‘move’ motion. They parted, and he retreated to his room.

So what do I do with this? This sudden burst of sunlight And me with my umbrella Cross-indexing every weatherman's report

They planned and planned until they’d imagined every possible scenario (or so they thought). Tom wanted a body? He’d have to risk everything for it.

I was ready for the down slide

‘Just once’, he begged his thoughts, ‘do what you’re told’.

And just this once… blessed silence. No racing thoughts, no anger, no fear. For that split second, he was still, body and mind.

Then came the blade.

He was still once more.

But not for spring to well up

…Alive. That was certainly a start. Allison’s comment wasn’t exactly reassuring, but as Henry helped him clear off the ink covering his person, he realized… her tone wasn’t disappointed. No, it was awe. As he stared at his hand, maybe not fully human but human-shaped and distinctly his, he couldn’t care less about petty semantics. He slowly curled the hand into a fist. They wouldn’t begrudge him any tears.

This feeling calls for everything I can't afford To know Is possible now

They waited for Bendy to wake up together, silence settled over them like a blanket. While the other two occupied themselves, Tom occupied himself with them.

Allison, the love of his life and beyond. She who stuck with him through thick and thin, who didn’t balk at their connection, whose smile lit up the room, who loved to give Bendy ideas and ways to improve his pranking skills.

Henry, who helped them escape the studio in the first place, who drew him the body whose form he now inhabited, who provided a calm foil to his quick temper. Henry, who had a terrible sense of humor but said with so much sincerity you could mistake it for being funny.

Finally…

Bendy.

Bendy who was the source of so much pain. Bendy who, much as he hesitated to admit it, had done nothing worse than harmless but annoying pranks since leaving the studio. Bendy who was consistent in his attempts to be kind. Bendy who gave up so much ink for him. Bendy… who he maybe needed to be kinder to. Allison seemed to know his thoughts, giving him a knowing smile and a nod when he glanced her way.

What do I do With a love that won’t sit still Won't do what it's told

They’d been through hell and come out the other side, world-weary, tired, and worse for wear, but still alive and kicking. Slowly but surely, things were improving.

Maybe.

Maybe he could believe in that Happily Ever After.

What do I do With a love that won't sit still

[transienturl]

the first half of the ask post you didn't reblog because you're doing them all anyways

Thanks, me!

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?Option 7, None of the above: highball glass. I looked up the glassware model I like; apparently the manufacturer calls them “nordic cooler glasses.” I much prefer glassware made of glass to any other type, and dislike the ridges/patterns on a lot of drinking glasses. Yep, I’m this picky.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?Chocolate. I like chocolate’s texture and the way it melts, and I don’t like eating bits of paper.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?Cotton candy. Bubblegum is gross.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?Uhh… hm. “Smart,” probably, which wasn’t particularly helpful. They probably had a bunch more to say but I don’t remember what anymore.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?I like this ask post! As mentioned, glass cups. I like how soda cans feel in the hand but the drinking experience is just alright. Plastic is just unpleasant.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?I had to google “boho” and I’m still not super clear on what it encompasses, but it seems kinda neat! Also I have no idea what grunge really means. If I had a feminine body and thus felt like dressing up, I’d definitely pick boho out of the google image results of each of those terms.

7. earbuds or headphones?Both; if I wear either for too long I switch to the other for comfort. But I’m at least somewhat an audio enthusiast, so I could go on for a long time here. Ex:

The soundstage of open-back headphones is really unparalleled for one. Apple’s earpods/airpods actually fit me and have basically no microphonics, which usually are a big issue with IEMs for me, plus their resolution on the high end is surprisingly great.

Insert the rest of this discussion here.

8. movies or tv shows?I watch either of these not from seeking them out but from circumstance, but often wind up liking them. I’m one of those people who thinks, “I’d watch that,” and then never watches whatever that was. So I don’t really know which I do or would prefer.

9. favorite smell in the summer?Uh… hm. That’s a really good question. What’s most interesting about it, I think, is just the list of smells people associate with a season. Of course there’s environmental ones like rain, but for summer I assume you have to go with, I dunno, fair food or something like that.

Anyway, no idea! I can’t think of a lot of meaningful smells that aren’t food, honestly.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?I remember enjoying capture the flag a lot. I dunno if I was actually good at it, though. I did have pretty good short-duration speed, so I was a decent defender. I don’t really remember what else we did.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?Nothing. (I don’t like most American breakfast foods much, though that’s not why.)

12. name of your favorite playlist?I called it “the playlist which is entirely fire” because why not. Alternately, the playlist with all of my music is just named after me.

13. lanyard or key ring?Key ring; I’m not a… yeah actually that joke would only work for people who went to my high school and follow this blog (hi Xander).

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?That’s also a really good question and I’m positive I have an answer, but I can’t think of it. I eat candy once every like 3 months, so it doesn’t exactly come to mind easily. The candied pecans I just tried are pretty good, though. Insert reference to my halloween fanfiction.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?Y'know how there are some things that you remember deciding at one point were your favorite, but don’t remember well enough to properly consider now? A lot of my favorite pieces of media are like that, but I have at least some confidence in the decision I made at the time. Not so much here. I remember thinking with surprise that I enjoyed The Mill on the Floss when I read it in class, so that’s what comes to mind, but I think it’s the wrong answer. I’m pretty sure there are some books I really enjoy that I’ve forgotten were originally for class. Random example that I think is also wrong: The Hobbit. The Giver is pretty darn good, too. Fahrenheit 451. I don’t remember this being the case but we might have read A Wrinkle in Time in a class. Et cetera.

Wait, no, actually, I figured it out: Island of the Blue Dolphins. (Which, actually, goes in the “this might be too much of a childrens’ book to enjoy rereading” category along with Summerland, The Great Tree of Avalon, The Marino Mission, What the Moon Saw, The Secret of Platform 13, and Island of the Aunts, all of which I loved at the time of reading. And potentially also The Book Thief, although I doubt it. Can you tell I like award-winning children’s books, though?)

16. most comfortable position to sit in?With crossed legs or on my feet, which people seem to find weird.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?I only have one regularly-used pair of shoes.

18. ideal weather?Still. I can’t stand wind of any kind. A range of temperatures is nice (not too hot; not *too* cold but snow is pretty so I’ll allow a wide range in that direction.)

19. sleeping position?In a ball, or at least partially curled up.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?I haven’t written on paper in like a decade. I had to recently in order to leave a sticky note on something and had actual trouble making it legible. Essentially everything I write is on this 2013 Macbook Pro keyboard.

21. obsession from childhood?Um… existentialism? The pretend world my sisters’ and my stuffed animals lived in? Popular science topics and things from video game worlds, all of which went into said pretend world? Jet aircraft? Algebra and geometry puzzles? Configuring laptop computers?

22. role model?John Green. People who can communicate/present things effectively.

23. strange habits?I’m sure I have a ton. I’m not going to delay posting this to come up with any, but I’ll think about it. But especially if we’re using western society as the ‘norm’ for the sake of the question, I think there’s a ton of stuff I do that’d surprise people.

24. favorite crystal?Hm. I like the colorless ones like diamond, I guess? I just generally like gemstones, especially in fiction when they have powers. Oh, how’s this: I tend to like crystals that are (semi)transparent, so they have depth to them and change appearance as they’re rotated.

The other weird, mostly-unrelated thing that comes to mind is when I made a necklace for my best friend in elementary school and spent a lot of effort picking out the right sort of pendant, but I don’t think it was actually a crystal. (I often wonder what it would’ve been like if I hadn’t moved; I bet we’d still be close.)

25. first song you remember hearing?Neat question! I have no memory of a particular song being the first. My parents played music a lot when I was little, so a lot of their CD collection makes me think, “I’ve been listening to this since far before I noticed that I was.” The most recent one of those I heard and wrote down was Cathedral of the Pines by Tim Janis.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?…complain about the heat? :D Hm, I don’t have a lot of outdoor hobbies.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?…complain about the cold? :P I do like to ski somewhat. And I like hot cocoa.

28. five songs to describe you?

Eric’s Song – Vienna Teng

Doubt – Ruby Day

…hm. Looking through my playlists and the #media tag on this blog, there’s a ton of songs that I like, and where that fact tells you something about my taste in music, but it’s hard to find songs whose content particularly tells you something. Let’s just go with songs I find some meaning or relevance in?

Laughing With – Regina Spektor

Rainbow Connection – Kermit the Frog/various covers

Okay, I ran out of songs with particular meaning; let’s finish up with one whose meaning is arguably a lack of particular meaning?

Both Sides Now – Joni Mitchell

29. best way to bond with you?Talking, I guess. Boring answer, maybe, but I think most bonding experiences I’ve had were just two people talking about something important.

30. places that you find sacred?My elementary school? Is that a weird answer?

Other than that… a lot of places, really. Depending how you use “sacred,” I think it could apply in my mind to lots of unique places, especially natural-wonder type things.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?I haven’t got one. None of my clothes are things I’ve picked out to look good, honestly. The thing that makes me feel more “ready to go out and kick ass than usual” is, like, bringing a phone charger with me in case I run out of battery in the process of whatever ass kicking it’s going to be, and that’s not an outfit thing.

32. top five favorite vines?Remember vine? Good times.

1. A Legendary Argument (https://vine.co/v/enUmZjLFgw2/); the “just do it” “no” one

Yeah, that’s it. I don’t know of any other ones.

33. most used phrase in your phone?I… don’t know how to tell. That sounds like a cool thing to figure out but I dunno how to see that.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?None, thank god.

35. average time you fall asleep?Too late.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?No idea.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?I don’t really know what context to think of this question in. Like, is there a time both would be valid options? Anyway, suitcase. Honorable mention: backpack.

38. lemonade or tea?I only like either of these in moderation. Usually I’d say lemonade, but lately I’ve been disliking acidic drinks more than usual, so maybe I’ll say tea. Actually, what I like is chrysanthemum tea, which you can get at dim sum places sometimes.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?I’ll go with lemon cake. I can only eat a really small amount of lemon meringue. If someone made more of a lemon meringue tart with a really thin layer of lemon (maybe 10mm or a bit less) and a lot of crust and meringue, that could be really good though.

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?If “bad” counts as “weird,” let’s just say it involved sexual misconduct.

41. last person you texted?My dad (a link to instructions to get free in-flight wifi; nothing interesting).

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?I prefer to put stuff in pants pockets so I have them if I take off my jacket, but then my pants fall down because I have no hips and my pants are all regular-person sized.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?I immediately crossed off everything except hoodie and cardigan. With a different body I’d definitely pick cardigan.

44. favorite scent for soap?Unscented.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?Eh, I mean, I think they all have potential. I’d pick sci-fi or fantasy over superhero; print comics have never interested me at all, though I’m sure there’s interesting stuff in there too.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?I feel like it’s just whatever you’re used to, honestly.

47. favorite type of cheese?Maybe fresh mozzarella? Either way, it’s going to be something people who really like cheese would barely count as cheese.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?If I were a fruit… not to take it too literally, but I can’t think of a better way to interpret it. Um… a ground cherry, because it’s cute and has a place to hide in.

49. what saying or quote do you live by?“Hope is the correct response to the human condition.”

There are probably better ones that correspond to things I live by more, but that’s the one I have a quote for. Guess who it’s by? I’ll give you one guess.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?Not sure. Show of the Weekend (@outsidextra) definitely wins “hardest laugh that I can remember recently” though.

[gabolange]

Tagged by @pellucidthings, who knows that I am trying to stay awake until a reasonable hour.

1. Put your playlist on shuffle and name the first four songs

“Someone Like You,” Adele

“Cowboy Take Me Away,” The Dixie Chicks

“On My Way To You,” Cody Johnson

“Soon Love Soon,” Vienna Teng

2. Grab the nearest book. Turn to page 23, Line 27

On Food and Cooking: The Science and Lore of the Kitchen. One nutritional alteration of milk is as old as dairying itself: skimming of the cream layer substantially reduces the fat content of the remaining milk.

(I don’t know if this is actually the 27th line, but it was this or an aside from Marco Polo on powdered milk in 13th century Asia.)

3. Ever had a song or poem written about you?

Nope. And my name is incredibly uncommon, so can’t even claim adjacency.

4. When was the last time you played air guitar?

Haven’t the faintest idea. I do sing along to all the things, though.

5. Celebrity crushes?

My actual answer is that my poor demisexual brain has never really had a real crush, because HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU LIKE SOMEONE YOU DON’T KNOW WITCHCRAFT ALL OF YOU. But we can surely find room in there somehow for Harrison Ford, Laura Main, and Nadine Garner.

7. Sounds you hate/love?

Love: train whistles on summer evenings, the everyday playlist that is the background music to my life, the silence in the early morning after it snows

Hate: crunching styrofoam is one of the only sounds that makes me actually angry

8. Do you drive, and have you ever crashed?

Yes, I drive. I have twice bonked my car into the same pole, and once was at fault in a fender-bender. But nothing meaningful, thank goodness.

9. Last book you read?

Most recently finished Euphoria, by Lily King, which I recommend. I am about halfway through Mrs. Everything, by Jennifer Weiner, which I do not.

10. Do you believe in ghosts?

Nah.

11. Do you believe in aliens?

I suspect somewhere out there some M-class planet has some form of life. Does that count? Does it matter?

12. Do you like the smell of gasoline?

I did as a kid.

13. Last movie you saw?

The Spy Who Dumped Me. It was SO BAD.

14. Do you have an obsession right now?

Not really? Still spinning stories for Jean and Lucien in my head, but that’s feeling more like a gentle, pleasant part of me than an obsession at the moment.

15. Do you tend to hold grudges?

Mmm. Not really, but if you tell me you are going to do something and then don’t, I will remember until the end of time. I am more likely to remember and feel annoyed if it was little and easy, and you are more likely to have forgotten entirely.

Tagging... @mamaju1205, @bethanyactually, @nellie-oleson and anyone else who wants to play.

[irisnotviolet-blog]

[ LANA CONDOR, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ] OH THEM? THAT’S IRIS NGUYEN THE SIXTEEN YEAR OLD JUNIOR WHO GOT INTO THE SCHOOL BECAUSE OF THEIR MUSIC. I SAW GRAFFITI ON THE BATHROOM STALL THAT SAID THEY WERE SECRETIVE AND QUIET, BUT I THINK THAT THEY’RE FRIENDLY AND INTELLIGENT. I WONDER IF THEY WILL GET ON WITH THE BEVERLY HILLS LOT?

Hi there!! I’m Tasha and this is my lil bab Iris. I already have a full bio for her (linked right here!) so you can check that out if you want. This is just kind of a more casual summary of that bio, and also some things that couldn’t make it into it. If you wanna plot with her feel free to like the post and I can message you here, or just hmu on discord! 

tw: death, gang violence, witness protection

Iris Nguyen was actually born as Violet Phan. 

Her sibling got involved with a gang, and when they didn’t follow through on something, the gang went after Iris. After trying to grab her, her attacker tripped and hit his head on the corner of a dumpster, killing him. The Phan family was put in witness protection, and became the Nguyens.

Iris’ cover story is that she was homeschooled until her father got a job in Beverly Hills, and subsequently the Nguyen children were put in the nearest school. Iris was in freshman year, so despite joining partway through the year, it wasn’t as hard of an adjustment as it was for the others.

The only social media Iris uses is Snapchat, and that’s because the pictures aren’t posted publicly. She also doesn’t let her friends post pictures of her online, and her excuse is that her parents are weird about it.

It’s pretty easy to push her around tbh. She’s really sweet and friendly to basically anyone, unless you’ve done something to seriously piss her off or break her trust. But otherwise, she’s pretty chill and is down for most things, which is part of why she’s such a pushover.

ALL the soft things, all the time. Sweaters, blankets, scarves, socks... always

^But also has a pretty quirky fashion sense

She’s really into baking and crafting, and she’s not fantastic but she’s not bad either.

Where her talents really lie is in music. She keeps a pretty low profile with it, because she doesn’t want much attention being called to her in general, but she plays violin, piano, guitar, ukulele, and a bit of saxophone. 

She writes a lot of songs and wishes she could put herself out there more, but is afraid any video will get back to Oakland. 

Her “voice claim” is Vienna Teng, some specific songs being Lullabye for a Stormy Night, Landsailor, Goodnight New York, and Flyweight Love if you wanna check them out (no pressure tho)

Iris obviously can’t tell anyone what her past is and for that reason, she has trouble getting really close to people. She has friends, but it’s unlikely that they know much about her other than her personality and what she does at school. 

I think that’s it?? I might add more to that, who knows. I have a few wanted connections below too!

Flashbacks: Someone that Iris knew before going into Witness Protection. I have a childhood friend or crush in my head, but like if it was someone she didn’t get along with, that would be fine too. It’s been 2-3 years since they saw her so she probably looks different, but it depends on whether they would recognize her or not with a different name and hairstyle.

Duet partner: Iris is in the school orchestra and choir etc, but she isn’t very outspoken about writing music, and usually if she’s playing her own stuff it’ll be in a small room with a piano or guitar. HOWEVER, she does have some duets that she’s written, and I plan on having her post a few songs online anonymously in a bit, so I’d love a connection where they could be on some of those recordings. 

Exes are always fun!! Iris is a Junior and got to Beverly Hills partway through freshman year, so there’s plenty of opportunity for past relationships. Whether it ended well or poorly, I’m definitely down to discuss.

OLDER SIBLING!! This would be the sibling that got involved with witness protection. I’ll probably be putting in a wc, but if you want a new character and would be down, hmu??

Friends?? Lab partners? Baking buddies, friends who shop together??? Literally anything pls just throw your bbs at her

[wee-chlo]

With the OK from @im-fairly-whitty , an almost stupidly long Ruy and Ruy/Iria playlist.

In some cases, the songs remind me of him less due to the precise nature of the lyrics and more due to tone, just FYI.

Ruy belongs to Witty and @slusheeduck

Just Ruy Playlist

They Know My Name; Big Little Lions: These monsters are hiding within my brain; They roar and they shout and they know my name; These monsters are screaming, they feel our pain and cry

Human; Darren Criss: I feel like a loser; I feel like I'm lost; I feel like I'm not sure; If I feel anything at all; But believe me; I'm not helpless; I just need someone to love; So my situations rough; That just makes me a dumb human; Like you

Ants Marching; Dave Matthews Band: She thinks, we look at each other; Wondering what the other is thinking; But we never say a thing; These crimes between us go deeper// Take these chances; Place them in a box until a quieter time; Lights down, you up and die

Some Nights; Fun.: Well, some nights, I wish that this all would end; 'Cause I could use some friends for a change; And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again; Some nights, I always win

Polaroid; Imagine Dragons: I'm a reckless mistake; I'm a cold night's intake; I'm a one night too long; I'm a come on too strong; All my life, I've been living in the living in the fast lane; Can't slow down, I'm a rolling freight train; One more time, gotta start all over; Can't slow down, I'm a lone red rover

Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.); Katy Perry: It's a blacked out blur; But I'm pretty sure; It ruled

Because Of You; Kelly Clarkson: I'm forced to fake; A smile, a laugh everyday of my life; My heart can't possibly break; When it wasn't even whole to start with

Mad World; Tears for Fears: And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad; The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had; I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take; When people run in circles it's a very, very; Mad world

Waco Moon; Todd Snider: Yellow Rose, Waco Moon; Quit too late, you're gonna die too soon; Woman with a needle and a silver spoon; Holed up singin' the devil's tune; Playin' the blues, payin' your dues; Speedin' your young life away// Sleepin' through a dream come true; you just threw all that talent away

God, Please Let Me Go Back; Josh Rouse: Little fellow wanted to know; yes a little fellow wanted to know; He said, 'Boy, are you ready to die?'; I told him, 'I would have to say no'; 'Cause in my life, I only wanted things to go right; Oh my god, I can't believe the mess I've caused; I wanna go back again; Please let me go back again

Antebellum; Vienna Teng: I know the border lines we drew between us; Keep the weapons down; Keep the wounded safe// But then the fights; the sharp words splintering the night; How I couldn't be what you'd need; But oh how I could make you bleed

Family of Me; Ben Folds: Oooo, and it's alright; Yeah it is, I swear, You'll see; (It's not really); Yeah, it's alright; 'Cause I've always got my family of me

Ruy/Iria Playlist

When I Was Your Man; Bruno Mars: I hope he buys you flowers; I hope he holds your hand; gives you all his hours; when he has the chance; takes you to every party; 'cause I remember how much you love to dance; Do all the things I should have done; when I was your man

Recessional; Vienna Teng: Who are you, a stranger in the shell of a lover; Dark curtains drawn by the passage of time?; Oh words like rain, how sweet the sound; 'Well anyway,' she says, 'I'll see you around…'

In Our Bedroom After the War; Stars: She's gone, she left before you woke; As you ate last night, neither of you spoke; Dishes, TV, Bed, the dark was filled with dread; But at least the war is over

Broken; Robert Downey Jr.: In love with a broken heart; (Think I leave today, I cover it all this way); You fell in love with a broken heart; (Every earthly breath, a lifeless testimony); In love with a broken heart; (Don't you know?)

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do; Renee Olstead: I beg of you, don't say goodbye; Can't we give our love just one more try?; Come on, let's start anew; 'cause breaking up is hard to do

The Panic In Me; Elton John: For when you are laughing; Like silver, like rain; You cool me, you soothe me; And love me again; For a few perfect hours; The world lets me be; you know how to calm down; oh oh; the panic in me

When The Day Met the Night; Panic! At the Disco: When the sun found the moon; She was drinking tea in a garden; Under the green umbrella trees; In the middle of summer; when the moon found the sun; He looked like he was barely hanging on; But her eyes saved his life; In the middle of summer