#is to skip the inactive pills

[senseiwu]

My period tracker app: D: your period is four days late!

Me, who has the power of Skip Period thanks to birth control pills: >:) I'm aware

[lucysweatslove]

Vyvanse Day 4 today! Just took the 20mg.

Yesterday was my first day on 20mg, and I seemed to be doing okay. However, I somehow decided that a cold brew coffee (with ice so idk how many oz really) after the museum + 32oz Diet Dr. Pepper a few hours after that was a good idea. I didn’t finish all of the coffee (honestly, I forgot about it), but that’s still like 250mg of caffeine. One Ghost is 200mg, and a Rockstar is 160mg, and I can only handle like one of those in a day and I still get jittery (even before starting any ADHD med).

Suffice it to say, I did get some high HR notifications and in the afternoon I just felt… a little off I guess. I can’t quite explain it.

It was still much better/more tolerable than the Strattera. Ironic to me that a non-stimulant med was worse than the actual stimulant that turns into actual amphetamine via red blood cells*

It also didn’t seem to have much effect in keeping me awake or keeping me more “alert,” but it didn’t increase somnolence either? Like the Strattera had me taking 2 hour naps no matter what, but the Vyvanse at that dose didn’t seem to impact me on that front.

Attention wise, the jitteriness made it a little hard to focus on its own. I also just… decided I didn’t want to read. I finished an audiobook and got some online shopping done, though.

Today I am going to be mindful of my caffeine intake and only have some of a Rockstar (I just feel like I need something since even 2 hours after waking, I’m pretty tired this morning). Tomorrow I meet with the PMHNP again to check in, so I’d like to get a good feeling for how I’m doing on the 20s.

An annoying thing about these scheduled drugs: you can’t write for titration very well. For Vyvanse, my insurance has a dispensing limit of 30 pills every 30 days inclusive of strength. Idea being that it’s harder to share/sell them, or take more than intended, if you’re limited and cannot get more. Given that Vyvanse is available in 10mg increments you can technically do all titration with one pill/day. This works out well if you’re on an established dose or only going up 10mg or whatever in a month etc. The problem is that when you’re determining dose, especially when somebody is historically very sensitive, you’re stuck with the dose prescribed for as long as you have pills. I got 14 pills of 10mg for a 14 day supply, but I’m taking 20mg now, so I will “run out” of 10s before the end of the 14 days. They may not approve a new rx before 14 days, or only approve 16 pills until Aug 5, etc. And we may even want to go up to 30mg eventually which makes it hard to know how many pills to send in of the 20s and when. Which means I will NECESSARILY have to take the drug “not as prescribed” (skipping some days) until we find the right dose.

* I’m not kidding; Vyvanse is basically amphetamine with a lysine added to it, and the lysine part makes it relatively inactive. It goes into your blood, and there is an enzyme in red blood cells that will cleave the lysine away from the amphetamine and then you get the nice stimulant effect from the amphetamine! It’s designed this way because the cleaving is a slow step so it slows the rate you get dextroamphetamine, reducing a sharp high and abuse potential + somewhat increasing time of effect. Also should note that dextroamphetamine =/= methamphetamine. Methamphetamine has a small methyl group at the end (where Vyvanse has lysine) and this changes it a lot. Vyvanse primarily becomes dextroamphetamine via a very specific enzyme that only removes lysine (it won’t remove just the small methyl group). Much of methamphetamine is converted to a different amphetamine compound, not dextroamphetamine, so it’s *not* the same drug.

Also Vyvanse’s generic name is lisdexamphetamine: lis (lysine) + dex (dextro) + amphetamine. Generics do generally have a logic behind them yeah?

[viagraviu]

Navigating Hypertension : Understanding High Blood Pressure Tablets

Introduction

In the realm of cardiovascular health, hypertension stands as a significant concern affecting millions worldwide. High blood pressure, if left unmanaged, can lead to severe health complications such as heart disease, stroke, and kidney problems. Fortunately, medical advancements offer various treatment options, with high blood pressure tablets being a cornerstone in hypertension management. In this comprehensive guide, we delve into the intricacies of hypertension, explore the mechanisms of high blood pressure tablets, and discuss their role in navigating towards better cardiovascular health.

Understanding Hypertension

Hypertension, commonly known as high blood pressure, occurs when the force of blood against the artery walls is consistently too high. This condition puts an excessive strain on the heart and blood vessels, increasing the risk of serious health issues over time. Hypertension often develops gradually over years, with lifestyle factors such as diet, physical inactivity, hypertension high blood pressure tablets  and stress contributing significantly. While it may not present noticeable symptoms initially, untreated hypertension can silently damage organs and lead to life-threatening complications.

Diagnosis and Monitoring

Diagnosing hypertension typically involves multiple blood pressure readings taken over time. A blood pressure reading consists of two numbers: systolic pressure (the pressure in the arteries when the heart beats) and diastolic pressure (the pressure in the arteries when the heart rests between beats). A reading of 130/80 mm Hg or higher is generally considered hypertensive. Regular monitoring is crucial for managing hypertension effectively, allowing healthcare providers to assess treatment efficacy and make necessary adjustments.

High Blood Pressure Tablets :  Mechanisms and Type

High blood pressure tablets, also known as antihypertensive medications, work through various mechanisms to lower blood pressure and hypertension high blood pressure tablets  reduce the risk of associated complications. These medications can target different pathways involved in blood pressure regulation, including   :

ACE Inhibitors  :   Angiotensin-converting enzyme (ACE) inhibitors inhibit the production of angiotensin II, a hormone that narrows blood vessels, thus lowering blood pressure.

Beta-Blockers   :   Beta-blockers reduce heart rate and the force of heart contractions, thereby decreasing blood pressure.

Calcium Channel Blockers  :   Calcium channel blockers prevent calcium from entering heart muscle cells and blood vessel walls, leading to relaxation of blood vessels and lower blood pressure.

Diuretics  :  Diuretics, also known as water pills, help the kidneys remove sodium and water from the body, reducing blood volume and lowering blood pressure.

ARBs  :   Angiotensin II receptor blockers (ARBs) block the action of angiotensin II, resulting in blood vessel dilation and lowered blood pressure.

Each class of high blood pressure tablets has its unique benefits and potential side effects, and the choice of medication depends on factors such as the individual's overall health, coexisting medical conditions, and medication tolerability.

Role of High Blood Pressure Tablets in Hypertension Management

High blood pressure tablets play a vital role in hypertension management by helping to control blood pressure levels and reduce the risk of associated complications. When used as prescribed and combined hypertension high blood pressure tablets  with lifestyle modifications such as a healthy diet, regular exercise, weight management, and stress reduction techniques, these medications can significantly improve cardiovascular outcomes.

It's essential for individuals with hypertension to adhere to their medication regimen as directed by their healthcare provider. Skipping doses or discontinuing medication without medical guidance can lead to uncontrolled blood pressure and an increased risk of adverse events.

Potential Side Effects and Precautions

While high blood pressure tablets are generally safe and effective, they may cause side effects in some individuals. Common side effects include dizziness, fatigue, headache, and gastrointestinal disturbances. Serious side effects such as allergic reactions, kidney problems, and electrolyte imbalances are rare but require immediate medical attention.

It's crucial for individuals taking high blood pressure tablets to be aware of potential side effects and report any concerns to their healthcare provider promptly. Additionally, certain precautions may be necessary when using these medications, such as avoiding alcohol, monitoring blood pressure regularly, and adjusting dosage as needed.

Conclusion

Hypertension is a prevalent and serious health condition that requires proactive management to reduce the risk of complications. High blood pressure tablets are valuable tools in the treatment arsenal, helping to lower blood pressure and improve cardiovascular outcomes. By understanding the mechanisms of these medications, adhering to treatment regimens, and hypertension high blood pressure tablets   adopting healthy lifestyle habits, individuals with hypertension can navigate towards better cardiovascular health and a higher quality of life. Regular communication with healthcare providers and ongoing monitoring are essential for optimizing treatment and achieving long-term success in hypertension management.

In summary, navigating hypertension requires a multifaceted approach that includes medication, lifestyle modifications, and regular monitoring. High blood pressure tablets are instrumental in controlling blood pressure levels and reducing the risk of associated complications. With proper management and adherence to treatment plans, individuals with hypertension can take charge of their cardiovascular health and enjoy a better quality of life.

[endometriosis-blog]

still trying to manage my stronger birth control! i used to take birth control constantly, and i would skip the few inactive pills at the end and just move to the next pack. this one though has a full week of inactive pills? still not sure if i should skip that much. i'll talk with my doctor tomorrow about it. all i know, is when before, i would go months without a period, i just started bleeding on my second day of inactives :(

[bouffees]

Do I have a heart disease or not?

Yesterday I had left side of chest pain/discomfort and neck discomfort, I was awake for late, I was awake until 11 AM from the time I woke up last day. Today My heart hurts, I don't know if it's due to that but also my left hand hurts too, and my left hand is cold, same goes for my left leg. I don't know if this is a heart issue or something else. I'm 19 years old, and I'm inactive, I don't have any friends living in my town and the ones that do are either from foreign countries or from villages further away from my town, my town is small so there's nothing much to do and I'm spending all the time on my computer, I go to online school so I do everything online.

This all started about a month ago and it usually gets better after the day it starts and slowly after couple of times goes away, this is a second time I'm having this and I'm expecting it to go away after a couple of days, like 2 or 4.

Last time I had this I had panicked and I was really scared so I called emergency line, and they did tons of EKG's two blood tests in 2 days and one ultrasound where they checked my heart and probably lungs, all they prescribed to me is to take bisoprolol 2,5 Mg pill every morning and to sleep at night, and to eat cooked food, they didn't tell me anything else. I'm worried since I got it again now if I have some heart disease, If I have a heart attack or something else. I don't know what this could be, I also had to wear a halter (thing that measures heart) for 24 hours and they said that my heart was skipping a bit but that it should be okay.

I'm from Serbia.

It might be worth mentioning I had covid in 2021.

submitted by /u/Kamey03 [link] [comments] from For issues related to heart disease, cardiac health and cholesterol control https://ift.tt/Ywbk6Hx

[gracelessmeredithgrace]

I’m so excited for tomorrow for the absolute dumbest reason.

[3-genetic-bugs-in-a-trenchcoat]

I'm nearing a year since starting HRT, so I'll make another one of those updates on how it's going, that I made half a year ago. But this time a lot more than HRT has happened, which has, and is still occupying a big part of my mind now. Name changes, pronoun changes and all the other hurdles of social stuff were expected to be the actual hard part of the whole transition, and ho boy, were they draining, sometimes scary and overwhelming, but after all, also really exciting and satisfying.

On top of that I've changed up the meds regimen, which also is probably worth mentioning as a preface. Otherwise, I guess I'll follow the same template as I set up the first time round... for science reasons. So here we go:

Body

Skin: This one has probably been the least eventful part lately. Went into a little bit of mess once I changed from estrogen pills to patches, but it's as nice and smooth as ever. Couldn't have expected more, this is perfectly comfortable at this point.

Body shape: I can only say I have a feeling that this one is changing, but I just see myself too often to really tell the difference. My limbs seem a little slimmer, which is understandable given the loss of muscle mass. I guess there's some level of fat redistribution going on, but I'd need some photo evidence to analyse that, which I don't have (yeah, I'm not going THIS science-y here).There's non-zero number of clothes I like which actually kinda fit me, and this is some measure of progress, I guess.

Tits: So their growth stagnated at first, and then took off real fast a while after changing into patches. What's been happening to these boobs literally week by week over the past month or two is really fascinating. They're still a bit shapeless, but they're rounding up visibly, and at this point I can clearly say, that regardless of the clothes I'm wearing, the existence of my boobs is undeniable. They're tiny, but visible. And this already absolutely rocks.

Sports: well, things have happened in this field as well. I've had some two periods of a week-or-so inactivity, and these managed to push my physical shape off a cliff. I've lost a significant portion of strength and some endurance, and I'm only now about returning to my shape from before January... and strength isn't even there yet. I have to work a lot harder than I used to, only to maintain fitness, not to mention improving it. And the way my body works keeps changing, so I'm essentially re-learning my body every day and trying to adjust. It's tough, both physically and mentally, but it certainly is an adventure.

Body hair: I know that all the narrative around HRT is all about breasts and that stuff, but honestly, what these hormones did to my body hair is the absolute greatest quality of life improvement and dysphoria reduction that I could ever dream of. At this point most of my body hair is barely noticeable and softer to touch when it grows. I'm no longer a coarse chimp even when I go a few weeks without taking care of it. In fact, I could skip shaving some of it off completely and it would probably still be fine, and this awareness brings just an incredible level of comfort now.

Face: Last time I wrote that something is certainly changing that makes it more pleasant to look at, but I couldn't grasp what. And this certainly is still the case. This face mostly is just about alright now.... with one exception. The facial hair is really becoming an issue now. And there are several problems with it - for one, it grows more slowly, but it's visible even before it's possible to shave off, which is frustrating beyond belief. And the act of shaving it is at this point genuinely harming my body. It's painful and I'm routinely left with multiple bloody spots afterwards... my face skin has clearly become too sensitive to handle daily scratching with sharp metal... It's still hard to complain; I've literally taken more selfies in the past 6 months than the previous 5 years, and let that indicate how my perception of... me has changed.

Mind

General: So these past couples of months, especially since the change into patches, have been a real roller coaster. But things have stabilized recently, and I've been going at least a good few weeks now without a major burst of dysphoria, which honestly is the longest such period I can remember. Be it the body changes, mind changes, social changes... who knows, who could tell... But it is truly refreshing - it's as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders, giving me a whole new level of energy and motivation to live. That's not to say that all's great and it's smooth rolling from here. But this is the starting point which I didn't realise how badly I needed.

Emotions: Ohh boy, these have gone places. And been all over the place. There was a time where I was turned into a hot rambling pile of mess, changing mood drastically every few hours, or just balancing on the edge of a meltdown for any bullshit reason for days. And yes, the external circumstances of social transition, having to talk to humans, going through paperwork and, worst of all, WAITING, all contributed to that. But I think I'm past that point, at least for now; I still get emotionally fragile every few weeks, anxious at times, but I'm a lot more stable now. Can't say I have a good grapple on controlling all of that yet, but I'm at least learning how this works, and can work with this.

Sex drive: this comes and goes every couple of weeks as well, so that's far from the usual HRT stories of that going away completely. It's still very much manageable, and at least mentally all traces of the previous kind of drive are happily gone. Physiology still can get seriously annoying at times but there's little I can do with that until I'm able to get rid of these genitals....

Anxiety: Well, I did have some reasons for anxiety and, predictably, it came... Not quite sure why I had this point in my previous list, but yah, together with all other emotions, anxiety comes, can be stronger than it used to, and goes.... but that's life, I guess

Life's good overall. Maybe I'm saying this because of weather keeping me up for the past few days, or maybe things are really going in the right direction, but this has been my persistent perception lately, and boy does it feel good. Not everything is perfect, obviously: I know I have things to learn, and even more thing to work through - I'm an evolving mess, but still very much a mess. But over the past year, and especially over the past 6 months I feel like I have developed at least to some extent, learned a good deal about myself, and can look a fair bit more brightly into the future at this point. Now, this sounded a lot more pompous than I meant it.

[sometimescheetahsdoprosper]

Does anyone want a uterus? No? I'll give it to you for free. Hell I'll pay you $50 to take it off my hands at the moment.

[kingreywrites]

With a little luck

@runningracingdancingchasing​

Fandom: Tangled

Word Count: 2308

16. “I’m trying to cheer you up.” (prompt list)

Summary: Flynn Rider didn't have bad days. He was always charming, always confident, and never ever worried about any kind of consequences. At worst, Flynn disappeared for one or two days, but no one could actually attest of any bad days being had. It was a question of reputation, and all that. Eugene wasn't so lucky, in that regard - oh, he was still charming, still confident, quite funny and dashing if you asked him but he cared.

Note: Thank you for the prompt!! I had trouble settling on one story for it but I hope you like this! Btw, this is set pre-series but post-movie, because I’ve been thinking a lot about Eugene and Rapunzel’s early relationship since i read here in this light by Hannamoon, so I can only recommand people check out this incredible fic!!

Read on ao3

Flynn Rider didn't have bad days. He was always charming, always confident, and never ever worried about any kind of consequences. At worst, Flynn disappeared for one or two days, but no one could actually attest of any bad days being had. It was a question of reputation, and all that. Eugene wasn't so lucky, in that regard - oh, he was still charming, still confident, quite funny and dashing if you asked him but he cared. A lot more than he let on to most people, but Eugene cared, it was in his nature, and Flynn had only tried to bury it. And, as such, Eugene had bad days, and he couldn't even hide out until it passed. Thankfully, along with being Eugene again, he had found a family - and he had found Rapunzel. Eugene's bad days were always better than Flynn's good days when she was here.

Didn't mean he had to like them, though.

It had started easily enough. He was bantering with Cassandra, as they always did - he had even started it himself, so really, he shouldn't be complaining - when she said something. A little jab, in the middle of so many others, nearly nothing really.

"Keep going like this and you'll end up all alone, Fitzherbert."

It had struck a nerve. Eugene had faltered, for barely a second, then had kept going as if everything was fine - and it was, really! But he couldn't get this sentence out of his head afterwards. It was silly, and he knew it - Cassandra had said worse. Come on, he had said worse to her, that was nothing!

But it wasn't.

He had talked more at lunch, because he was nervous and nervous Eugene babbled, and he saw clearly the annoyed glances that Frederic threw his way. Even Arianna, as serene as she always appeared, advised him once or twice to take a little more food, the closest she ever got to outright telling someone to shut up. The problem laid with the fact that Eugene was very good at talking with his mouth full, which garnered another scowl from Frederic, but a giggle from Rapunzel, so he kinda won anyway.

Ending up alone. As a kid, it never made sense to him how that could be a shared fear for orphans - they were already alone, weren't they? He wasn't scared of that at all, he would proudly claim to whoever was willing to listen (mostly Lance), because he never had anyone to begin with and that meant he didn't need anyone. (Except you, Lance, he would add back then.) And all his life, he had tried to prove it, had tried to show that he could do anything he wanted to without help, had dreamt of ending up alone and rich, far away from everyone on an island of his own. He had left the orphanage behind, had left Stalyan behind, had left Lance behind, because he was Flynn Rider and he- he-

Flynn Rider didn't get lonely. (But Eugene did. Eugene was vulnerable and he had hated it, hated the emotions he couldn't stop from flooding him, and his only solution had been to stifle them until he could pretend they didn't exist at all.)

After lunch, Eugene had fled the table in a haste, muttering an excuse he didn't even remember now. He knew Rapunzel still had a lot of activities scheduled, being a Princess and all, and that he had nothing else to do but mope. It was weird, to be so inactive now. As a thief, every day had been a new challenge - he had to keep moving, to keep stealing if he wanted enough money to live. Being able to stay idle was both a blessing, and an incredibly strange feeling at times. It gave him more time to mull over his feelings, in any case. More time to really live through his bad days, without any alcohol to distract himself with, for sure.

Cassandra's remark shouldn't have hurt like it did, because it was illogical. He knew he wouldn't end up alone now - Rapunzel loved him, just as much as he loved her, and- and they were each other's dream and he knew it.

He knew it.

It was simply hard to remember sometimes, because feelings didn't care about logic. He… Had experience in being abandoned, but he had thought that he was done with this feeling at 12, when he decided that he didn't want to be adopted anymore. Eugene was terrified that everything he had gained these last months, everything he had built back for himself once he let go of his life as a thief, would end up disappearing in seconds. All his life, having something meant being prepared to inevitably lose it, but he didn't want to lose this - he didn't want to lose Rapunzel.

He knew who he was when he was all alone, and he didn't want to be that person anymore.

He nearly went to hide out in the library, but he heard voices inside and he was not in the mood to speak to anyone. Especially not to another fancy person that would look at him as if he was nothing but a thief - he knew his presence in the castle wasn't accepted by everyone, but he hated being judged that way. He hated how it reminded him of the way adults would look at him when he was an orphan, hated the pity and the disgust that came with those stares, hated… hated that, at best, he was only Rapunzel's saviour, but not anyone worthy of their time for anything else.

Nowadays, Eugene knew the castle's layout by heart, always quick to remember a place just in case he needed to flee it - and stealing the crown had certainly taken a lot of preparations on its own, so really, it had no mysteries left for him. Especially one perfect, always empty and quiet spot: the roof. It didn't take long for him to go sit on his recently self-designated hideout, all of Corona seemingly under his feet. The fresh air and the silence were a welcome distraction from his thoughts, and a welcome distraction for his over dramatic reaction too - he had spent the last decades avoiding to wallow into his 'sad orphan backstory', and he had no reason to stop now.

Well. Rapunzel would want him to be honest with her about what he was feeling. But this was stupid, and she was busy with all the Princess' activities her dad had been pilling up on her recently, because of her upcoming coronation. There was no need to bother her with it, and she would totally understand that he didn't tell her - right?

Right. He could totally get over it by himself.

Keep going like this and you'll end up all alone, Fitzherbert.

"Thank you Cassandra," Eugene grumbled, kicking his feet in the empty space beneath them, "couldn't you have just insulted my nose or something?"

He would have gasped and defended himself, but at least it wouldn't have put his insecurities at the forefront of his mind. He was doing a good job of ignoring them before, thank you very much. Sighing, Eugene realised he couldn't even manage his fake-anger at her, because he was… tired. Tired of his bad day, already, even if it was barely one, tired of being scared, and tired of dwelling on something that he considered to be ridiculous. He wished he could convince himself that this new life was permanent, that Rapunzel would always love him, but it was hard. Dangling his legs, he decided to count all the houses he could see in front of him, until he was bored enough to go back inside.

He was halfway through a second round in Italian, to spice things up, when a noise on his right startled him.

"Hey," Rapunzel said, her brown hair glowing in the setting sun. He hadn't expected her to find him here, but some part of him wasn't surprised that she did anyway - because of course she would. Her hands were behind her back, and she quickly skipped over to him, always graceful.

"Sunshine," he smiled because he couldn't not, no matter his mood. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, the man I love disappeared on me, after spending lunch looking absolutely miserable," she answered gently as she sat next to him, handing him a cupcake that she had been hiding. "Of course I wanted to find you."

Eugene took the cupcake in both hands, and hoped that the blush he could feel creeping on his cheeks wasn't too noticeable, but something told him he wasn't so lucky.

"A cupcake?" he laughed.

"Hey, I'm trying to cheer you up! What better way than a cupcake?" Rapunzel said teasingly - but she also put her hand on his knee, and looked at him like he was the most precious thing in the world.

How he had ever managed the reputation of a tough guy was beyond him, Rapunzel only needed a few words to undo him completely.

"So," she said, once it was obvious that he wasn’t about to say anything else, "do you… Do you want to talk to me?"

He didn't, really. But he took her hand in his and squeezed it, hoping that she would be patient while he gathered himself. Eugene knew how comforting people was sometimes stressful on Rapunzel. At the very beginning of their relationship, he had quickly understood that her only experience with it was trying to please Gothel after an argument, which involved a lot of gifts and apologies. They had discussed it together, trying to separate what was unhealthy from what Rapunzel actually enjoyed doing - for example, gifts were one thing that she didn't want to give up on, but she was glad that it wasn't mandatory to the process. She was still anxious, though, that what she was doing was wrong, or at least not enough, and while she wouldn't ask for him to comfort her when she was trying to comfort him, he still tried to be mindful of her fears.

"I…" he tried, before cutting himself off. How could he begin to explain all the contradictory thoughts in his mind? Start from the essential. "I love you."

"I love you too, Eugene," Rapunzel answered easily, her skin warm against his.

She was close enough that he could count every freckle on her skin, even the most hidden one, sitting right under her eye, beneath her lashes. Faced with the prettiest view of Corona one could find, Eugene only had eyes for her. He loved her. And he was terrified, at the same time.

You'll end up all alone, Fitzherbert.

"Sometimes I'm scared that I'm gonna lose everything," Eugene blurted out, before cringing. "I mean, I know that you love me, of course I do but- I-"

"It feels too good to be true, somedays," Rapunzel finished softly. She lowered her eyes, and put her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah," he breathed, putting his arm around her shoulders. "A castle I could understand, but getting to be loved by the most wonderful woman in all the seven Kingdoms?"

"And getting to be loved by the most incredible man in all the seven Kingdoms?" Rapunzel echoed with a chuckle. "Impossible."

"Ludicrous."

"Oh good word."

There was a beat, and then they were both laughing, and holding onto each other.

"I love you," Rapunzel whispered again after a while, "and I know that being scared doesn't always make sense, but I promise that I'll never leave you."

Eugene's throat felt too tight after this declaration. It… It meant a lot more than he thought it would, because as much as he loathed admitting it, he was terrified of losing everything. As a kid, ending up with nothing had seemed inevitable; but he didn't want that, he didn't want to accept this future, he- he wanted to be happy. And he couldn't believe he got that chance with Rapunzel.

"I promise I won't leave you either," he answered, because he wasn't sure how to even voice the gratitude gripping him. "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"Same goes for you." Rapunzel shifted, so she could take his hands in hers, and look straight at him again. "You don't have to hide from me when you're upset, I… I always want to be there for you. And as you can see," she smirked, gesturing to their predicament, "I'm not afraid to follow you in the weirdest places if I need to!"

Eugene laughed. "How did you even find me here?"

"I've got my secrets," she said playfully, "and they may involve remembering that one conversation where you talked about how we should hang out on the roof so my maids couldn't find me." Her brilliant smile made him fall in love all over again.

It also made him remember the cupcake that he had put aside. The frosting had melted a little, and he didn't look as good as earlier, but the sentiment it carried was still the same. Most of the time, he was the one bringing Rapunzel's cupcakes, but they meant as much to him as they did to her. It was one of the first things he bought after being a thief most of his life - one of the first things he bought for her. This cupcake was proof that he wasn’t the same man, that he was neither sad orphan Eugene Fitzherbert nor careless thief Flynn Rider.

He was just Eugene, and he had found a family now - he had found Rapunzel. And having bad days wasn’t so bad, when they ended with sharing a cupcake with his new dream, alone on one of the roofs overlooking the entire Kingdom of Corona, his new home.

[lordseochangbin]

Heart Stop: For You (The end)

A/N: Oh well it’s finished omg

Word Count: 1152

Several years later when spring came you finally landed your dream job. After months of saving money you bought a Condo for you and Chan in front of the beach, a perfect view for the two of you to enjoy. 

Even though Chan didn’t do much, he grew a new passion- music producing. He didn’t make much money off it but he still found something to take up his time. At one point you thought he was going to grow miserable without swimming, he even avoided all physical activity to make sure you were safe. 

You still made sure every moment with him was worth it. You wanted to make him feel like he made the right decision, even though you know he didn’t.  

“Open wide” You said, aiming a slice of bread at his lips as he took a bite. It was like this everyday in the morning, you two would share breakfast in bed and stare at the ocean view in front of you. 

After a couple of years of what felt like the same day over and over again- that being you going to work to make money for the both of you and Chan staying at home doing.. whatever he was doing- you started to see a hint of dismal growing inside him. His presence started to grow more dull, gloomy. Not like the smiling, happy boy you once knew. 

He started to feel despair, wanting to run- wanting to live free of the soulmate tie that someone had placed on the two of you. You started to feel the same way, working for two people wasn’t easy and you often came home exhausted. It being hard for the two of you, you started to separate. 

Regardless of Chan’s physical inactivity, you started to feel that similar ache again. Chan felt like his dignity was taken at this point, he didn’t make you feel happy or sad. He didn’t feel at all. 

Getting up from the bed, you stretch your limbs and get ready for work as Chan turns on the TV. 

You hop in the shower, staring at your reflection in the small mirror as you start to tear up again. It’s the ache inside of you that can’t be stopped. The woman of two hearts is still there, and the excitement of Chan being the love of your life was starting to disappear. 

Chan felt the same way. Despite your efforts, he no longer enjoyed life as it was. He wanted to go swimming, he wanted to run outside. Exercising was one of his favorite hobbies, and now the fat had overtaken his strong muscles. He didn’t feel the same. 

Staring at the mirror to see his drooping eyes, Chan grabs a black hat and puts it on. 

Wearing a simple black shirt and jeans, he put on his key necklace. The key necklace that fit the lock to your heart, the simplest yet pure gift. While you were a woman of two hearts, he was turning the key. Constantly jabbing it’s lock, never letting your heart be free of it’s restraints. 

Now he will let it be free of the restraints that he placed on you, the pain and despair from his happiness. The power of soulmates. 

Watching your reflection, you put on your lock necklace and slip into your heels. 

“Hey babe, I’m going out for a run” He says plainly before heading out. 

You watch him leave before finally coming to your senses. A run? How could he possibly be going out for a run??

Opening the front door, you find him missing. He’s gone like the wind- and there’s that familiar clench in your chest. 

Why could he possibly be running? You don’t even have the pills anymore, you threw them out in hopes that this wouldn’t happen. You didn’t think he would do this. Why would he do this to you? 

When your heart beat starts to increase you fall onto the floor, trying hard to grab your phone. Your sight becomes blurry and you can no longer breath, he’s running faster and faster and you can feel it taking its toll on you and… 

And rest.

»»————-　♡　————-««

Your eyes open to a line of doctors, they seem alarmed almost. Your condition is unheard of, you’re the first of its type, the first one to hold not only your heart but your soulmates. 

“Y/N? Is that you? Hi, I’m one of the professional cardiologists here. You’ve been out for about an hour now, how are you feeling?” 

You simply nod at the doctor before looking around at the tubes and monitors and machines around you. There’s more than one doctor here. It feels like every doctor in this building, all wondering who you are with your unusual heart. 

“Listen, I need you to hang in there okay? We haven’t been getting a pulse lately and it’s nice to see that you are still remaining calm despite all of this” 

You groan in pain, there it is again. He’s running. Why is he running all of the sudden? He’s not running. It’s getting colder in the room. The familiar scent of chlorine. The taste of salt on your tongue. 

He’s swimming. 

“Y/N??!! Y/N, can you hear me??” You jump in your seat. Where are the pills? Changbin, Hyunjin, Felix? None of them were there to get your purse. Seungmin and Jeongin are not even close. It hurts, it hurts so bad you just want it to end. You want to say “rest”. You want to swallow those pills and sleep on Hyunjin’s lap. You want to wake up in a hospital bed with Chan sleeping beside you. 

Chan’s long gone however. He’s somewhere swimming in deep waters, enjoying his best moments in life. That’s where he belongs. Not with you, not with anyone. He belongs to the water, swimming heartlessly yet freely. Using your two hearts to its full potential.

“Y/N please if you can hear me-” The voices of doctors and nurses start to fade away and you slowly close your eyes. You can feel your chest being brought to life several times but the electric shocks and currents don’t work against you. 

Your hand grasps onto the lock your boyfriend once gave you. He’s wearing the key but he never once unlocked it. Now was the chance. 

Your vision is brought back to life with a sight of Chan. The boy you once bumped into in the middle of a crowded hallway, the boy that held onto you in a scary roller-coaster, the boy that smiled at you after beating an Olympic record. 

That smile made your heart skip two beats.

That same smile took your breath away until you eventually flat-lined. Finally, you felt nothing in those two hearts of yours, it felt heartless. 

It felt like meeting your soulmate for the first time. 

Heartstop.

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

I had no idea there was a taiqrow week!!! I just found it today (Thursday) so im just gonna throw out a few headcanony/writer's notes stuff

@taiqrowweek

Day 1: First Day at Signal

Background:

So Tai has been working at Signal for years now

Qrow's operations have been slowing down so Tai suggested Qrow stay for a while and help Tai with the girls now that they're older and Tai has to run them 2 different places at once

(Yang is self-sufficient so Tai actually has everything under control, he just misses Qrow)

Yang and Ruby got all excited so he had to say yes, plus he's been promising to teach Ruby scythe lessons for a while now

Maybe he moves in maybe he gets a place nearby so the girls have less chance of stepping on broken glass either way he's bored most of the day so Tai gets him a job at his work

Qrow doesn't want to spend all day in a middle school (plus he never went to one) but Tai's all like "look how well you do with Ruby! I only got you work as a combat teacher so its not like you're teaching history"

The first day:

Qrow is already hungover

Tai and a way to over-enthusiastic Ruby pull him out of bed

Qrow ends up at school having had no breakfast, only 1 coffee, and got in big trouble after being caught taking pills (pain meds) on school grounds

Theyre late by teacher standards but early by students so technically theyre on time

Qrow and Tai work on different ends of the school so Qrow is on his own

During lunch Tai comes by to check on him but thats it

Qrow's met the other teachers and staff a few times at the meetings leading up to school but now hes alone with his fellow combat teachers whos office i assume look like PE teachers offices aka small cramped and 2 per room

Students show up and its that whole first week of school stuff where nothing really happens after the first 20 min but in every class at least a few recognized Qrow or his name and since he's super bored and can only handle so much small talk with his coworkers he agrees to show off a bit

By the third class of the day hes internally like "please ask me to do some moves im so bored" and he gets a bit fancier and he quickly grows to like the attention from a bunch of children (who are better at not swarming him and not getting all up in his personal space unlike most adults)

He... maybe... becomes everyones favorite teacher by the end of the day

He does not realize the implications of this

By the second half of the day Tai starts hearing students talk about how "the great Qrow Branwen is our combat teacher this year!" and "its not fair Mr. Branwen is teaching a combat class the same time as mine but I got Mr. Grace as my teacher instead"

And Tai's expected this because it happened to him for years until he'd been inactive in the field for to long

Also Yang and Ruby aren't allowed in either Tai's or Qrow's classes because of the family policy so he heard the temper tantrum over being in the other gym already

End of the day comes and Qrow comes and finds Tai in his teacher's lounge and Tai's caught off guard for a second because Qrow is smiling and seems happy

Qrow's like "you know I think I could actually like this" and because Tai is a little shit he goes "wait till week three" "what happens at week three?" "thats about the time students try to skip lunch and hang out with their favorite teachers" "is that allowed?" "No but its impossible to control middle schoolers. Get ready to have a bunch of Rubys crash your lunch break day after day. Actually do you know how hard it was to stop Ruby from doing that today?"

Qrow is just over come by this look of "oh no" and Tai is loving every second of it

"I cant handle more than one Ruby" and Tai laughs so hard

Qrow is to distraught to realize he made Tai laugh

"Tai why did you do this to me" "you said you wanted a job and that your only skills were observation and combat. It was this or spying for someone other than Ozpin. Also because this is hilarious"

[wormwoodmn]

hello, all ! for the sake of new members (and also current members. and certain admins 😭) at the end of every cycle we will be publishing a summary of all clues found via investigation during that time. and, even though ic only one day has passed, our players have found a ton of leads and evidence, but... very little way to make sense of it. i mean, anti-depressants? a plethora of missing teenagers? a vintage serial killer? a smelly man in a bush??? read below the cut to find out more !!! 

raf & wally in sam’s apartment (morning)

his go bag, his gear, all of his monster hunting equipment was gone 

took sam’s laptop 

took a shoebox full of notes 

took a list of names pinned to his conspiracy board, accompanied with a map of deepriver forest full of pins with identical years to those on the list. 

took the phone number of professor sean guthrie they found in sam’s backpack. 

raf & wally both remembered that those names in the first section match the names of the only serial killer wheldrake has ever known, davis shaw aka the deepriver digger. 

also, based off sam’s own notes on the board, he suspected the deepriver digger was actually hochne-related. 

raf got sam’s roommate’s, beth buckley’s, number.

ava & saaleha at deepriver clinic 

sam is not at the clinic, however upon mentioning his name, a nurse behind the counter perked up. 

this nurse is jodie gardner, and after some persuading, she finally revealed to them that she knew about sam’s hunt for the hochne, and that she thought he was in trouble. 

she mentioned other people concerned for sam (”we’re worried about him”) but upon questioning, jodie clammed up and left.

skip & daniel in deepriver forest 

they follow the trail of sam’s timberlakes until they vanish, and it’s around there that they find two pill bottles of a drug called nardyll.

when bending down to pick one up that rolled into the bushes, however, they came across a bedraggled, smelly man named gene carney, who seemed to be collecting the pill bottles, claiming they were scattered all along the forest floor.

unfortunately, shortly after introducing himself, skip, daniel, and gene were spotted by deputy dalton blevins, and while gene managed to escape, skip and daniel were caught. 

blevins, not wanting to admit he lost gene carney in the inevitable report, decided to let skip & daniel go with a warning.

kennedy on king street 

discovered npc reggie denison, and received the contact information of both reggie denison and james moss. 

raf subsequent investigations (because he rolled two nat20s 🙄) 

nardyll is an anti-depressant, an irreversible mao inhibitor, that is rarely used because of its strength and its plethora of interactions with other drugs. there are no known recreational uses. 

upon googling the deepriver digger, found that davis shaw was caught directly after killing his last victim, and died in a maximum security prison on the other side of the state back in 1997. 

upon googling the names of the people on the list, found very little information on those in the second section, but for the disappearances after 2006, discovered the social media profiles and facebook pages of young wheldrake natives, all aged 13 to 24. the profiles were filled with heartfelt messages, and the pages were regarding missions to find these missing children. some of them have since become inactive. 

one person heavily involved in all of the pages is called cadence williams. 

the police don't seem to be helping, and the only time they mentioned these missing people on any social media referred to them as a "scourge of runaways" 

ava additional knowledge 

nardyll is made by jamison family pharmaceuticals

emmet & nigel in sam’s apartment (night) 

emmet and nigel attempt to break into sam's apartment, both via the window.  

nigel breaking the lock gets them caught; emmet reveals herself by knocking over a pile of books. 

they almost get campus police called on them 

we meet sam's roommates : beth, luca perry, and renee porter

cam & gwen hacking research 

cam managed to hack into sam's computer. nothing of note was found on his hard drive, despite some random notes about the missing persons list. 

using the links raf sent him, cam found some forums where the missing children were discussed. sam, under the user theduncanfiles, was threadbanned from all of those started by user enolahollmes. enolahollmes had herself lost a son, named troylen. 

checking facebook, they quickly find and hack into cadence williams' profile, discovering that she is enolahollmes. she works at the local high school in wheldrake as a janitor. 

cadence is friends with nurse jodie, and they managed to find messages between them where they reference sam, mostly referring to him as the conspiracy kid. it seems sam was asking cadence for information and, at the implication that a fucking cryptid took her kid, she basically booted him from this search community. 

hacked jodie's account to find messages between her and another nurse, lauren woods, discussing ava and saaleha visiting the clinic and how something odd was going on, though they didn't know what.

[neeleshraju]

Grow Extra Inches Review

Grow Extra Inches: Male Enhancement Pills Is It Safe or Not?

For a healthy lifestyle people generally skip smoking, drinking, eating junk food and embark on something that will keep them sound fit and happening. However, skipping sex just because you are not able to perform well is the method that you are adopting. You must not be someone who is away from the health benefits of having sex. According to some recent researches, a man can have more health benefits as compared to women, when it comes to talking about sexual stability. Nonetheless, there are many men who are not able to satisfy their physical needs along with their partners. Hence, for such people, we have got Grow Extra Inches.This is a male enhancement supplement, which will help in making you feel energetic in bed and it will even allow you to have a perfect time with your significant other.

What is Grow Extra Inches?

Why is sex something that declines its importance as we grow old and becomes a taboo when we are young? Undoubtedly, it is true that the intensity and openness to any kind of sexual indulgence get lost somewhere as we keep on ageing.

This male enhancement product has been designed for the men who are above the age of 40 or 50 and are unable to give their best when it comes to delivering their passion and love towards their partner. 

What is the work of Grow Extra Inches?

If you had a busy working week and you are unable to release your stress then some quality time with your partner will help you calm all your tension. By consuming Grow Extra Inches you can initiate the process of your sexual activity.

Once you start consuming Grow Extra Inches then you will notice that your body seems more active when it comes to showing some moves in bed. This supplement will ensure that your energy is not lost after one push. 

This male enhancement product will make sure that your body is well-equipped with sperm. Also, it will initiate a perfect secretion of your sexual hormones such as testosterone and endorphins. 

With the help of Grow Extra Inches, you can ensure that you are having good confidence in the way you are performing in bed. Further, the supplement will not let your focus to shift from your partner.

Grow Extra Inches will prevent the issue of premature ejaculation, which can sometimes become embarrassing for a man. It will provide you with better intercourse as it will increase the size of your penis.

How to consume Grow Extra Inches?

For making this sex supplement a part of your regular routine, you must consume it every day. A pill of Grow Extra Inches an hour or 45 minutes before the activity will increase your stamina so that you can stay in bed for a longer period. Also, make sure that you are consuming this male enhancement supplement along with a glass of water.

Tips to keep in check before consuming Grow Extra Inches

For letting this supplement perform its best you are supposed to have a perfect diet. Eating healthy food will make sure that you are not accumulating fat in your body. Excess calories will leave you inactive.

It is necessary to work out and shed those excess pounds because an intense fitness regime will boost your stamina. Exercising will let you regain your energy levels and it will make sure that you are feeling lousy.

Getting rid of smoking and drinking is necessary when you want your libido to be going. This supplement also wants its consumers to not drink or smoke because it will eventually lead to an increase in the chances of different sexual disorders. 

What are the value points of ordering Grow Extra Inches?

This supplement will allow your brain to secrete endorphins, which are necessary to release the pain and stress. 

Grow Extra Inches will help in making you feel more active and energetic in bed.

The product will offer longer erections to you during the time of intercourse.

This male enhancement supplement will increase your ejaculation time.

It will help you get rid of erectile dysfunction and symptoms of infertility.

With the help of Grow Extra Inches, you can make sure that your muscles are flexible enough so that you are having any kind of problem during the time penetration.

This supplement will arouse sexual desires in your body so that you are not feeling depressed.

Grow Extra Inches will improve your sleeping patterns so that you can perform your best in bed.

It will increase your staying time in bed so that you can satisfy her more than once.

Which components are used in the making of Grow Extra Inches?

The makers of this male enhancement product have made sure that their consumers are utilising authentic ingredients. Some of the components that are used in the preparation of Grow Extra Inches are Honry Goat Weed Extract, Tongkat Ali, Saw Palmetto, etc. All the components used in this supplement hold the ability to increase the level of testosterone in your body and boost your sex drive.

Is there any kind of side effects from Grow Extra Inches?

No, this supplement do not have any side effects as all the ingredients used in this supplement are safe to consume. The product undergoes various tests, which ensure that there are no artificial or products used in the preparation of Grow Extra Inches.

From where to get Grow Extra Inches?

In this article, there are different banner images of Grow Extra Inches, which are the links to the main website of the supplement. Once you click the images you will be taken to the main page of this product. All you have to do is that fill in your essential details and make sure that you are selecting the number of containers that you want. Hence, by completing a few steps Grow Extra Inches will reach at your residence in no time. 

Customers review on Grow Extra Inches

Williams: Grow Extra Inches has made me get rid of high doses of medicines that I was consuming to improve my sex drive. The product has helped me with harder and longer erections. Even at the age of 47, I am able to keep myself and my wife contended whenever we decide to make love with each other.

Maria: After consuming Grow Extra Inches, my husband now feels more inclined towards the idea of having sex. After his 40s, I had never seen him this active, but this testosterone booster has helped him feel active and full of desires. Thanks to Grow Extra Inches!

The bottom line

Grow Extra Inches will increase your need for some intimacy and will not make you run away from the thought of sex or from your partner. The product is available at its official website at some great discounts. So, without wasting much time, order this male enhancement supplement home and make sure that you are having much healthier libido even at the age of 40.

[comeallyelost]

The Handmaid's Tale 3x06 thoughts

Okay so I just watched the episode this morning. Literally over my morning coffee-- So this is all fresh in my mind and I was thinking about this my whole drive in to work. 

Let it be known that I am firmly in the camp of Nick being fundamentally good in this series and that his actions and shady past have all been a consequence of his circumstances. After browsing the tags a bit, I think a lot of fans are of the same opinion that yes, Nick's past is shady but that's nothing we didn't already know and we still trust him and his love for June and Holly/Nichole.

I did think that despite his absence for much of this season, bringing Nick to D.C. felt almost forced. Why was he not at the front all this time? What has he been doing? And he just randomly shows up to visit June in D.C. under the guise of paying Waterford a visit? That could definitely have been presented better. 

What gets so frustrating is the constant ambiguity in this show that leaves so many things unsaid. The lack of open dialogue between the characters does imo make their acting that much more spectacular, but why does SO much of this have to happen behind closed doors?! Literally.

But ugh, that reunion in the snow was so effing gorgeous, my heart skipped a beat. I am so far gone with this ship, it's ridiculous.

So here's what I'm thinking - it's gotta be one of two things here:

1.Nick's status as a commander/member of the Eyes is too dangerous and more intricate than we the audience have been led to believe and he simply can't get involved in this. Like maybe he tried? But knew the Swiss wouldn't trust him?

2. He actually IS cooperating and made some sort of other deal with the Swiss to protect June and Holly and June simply can't know about it.

I refuse to believe he'd show up to meet with the Swiss and give nothing or completely halt June's attempts at securing their child's safety in Canada. He told her he'd go, and whatever he did or tried to do we just don't know yet.

That line where Nick tells June that if you get in bed with the government it's almost impossible to get out most definitely has something to do with his past (and present situation probably). He joined the Sons of Jacob and presumably fell into being a soldier afterwards, like, no surprise there. 

I think the writers are trying to get us to question Nick's loyalties, but it's not working. We don't question his love for June and their child. At all whatsoever. And that's where it lies. His actions as a result of that may be morally gray, and up until he met June were probably for the sake of his own survival--but now they're first and foremost driven by June and Holly's safety and well being.

The idea that June can't trust anyone but herself in this fight, the idea that she's losing the allies she thought she had (Serena and now Nick) might be the push the writers are going for, but for me, she hasn't lost Nick as an ally and she never will. His capacity to help her and Hannah escape might be limited and tied up, but he is hers through and through. 

The monkey wrench that is being thrown into their relationship is then whether or not June will be able to forgive Nick for his past actions. Can she accept his being complicit in the establishment of Gilead? It might be a hard pill to swallow, but ultimately, my shipper heart says she can. After all, everyone on this show has done things that harmed others. Everyone's motives on this show are gray, and blurry, and very often selfish at times.

The exploration of human action (and inaction) within this horrendous regime is such a fundamental aspect of this show and part of what makes it so so so good. I will admit though, there needs to be more catharsis this season. The suffering we keep seeing and the more sides of Gilead that are being uncovered are getting more and more horrendous. Silencing the handmaids? Afg. They're being treated like straight up cattle at this point.

Also Nick getting on the train and saluting those soldiers-- it looks like he wields quite a bit of power so we know these soldiers are willing to follow him wherever he goes. And if you look at his face, you see his mask slip briefly. We see he's still there. So I don't know what's to come, but I'm confident my bb Nick will do the right thing here. As right as he can.

Gah this show has my emotions all over the place. 

Other thoughts:

- That June/Serena exchange at the Lincoln Memorial was incredible. There we had a bit of that catharsis that I mentioned we need. But ugh we need just a little bit more!

- I want more Commander Lawrence

- Is Serena seriously back to thinking that a child will make her marriage the best thing ever?? I don't know why I bother anymore. I've always hated her, but I will admit her letting Holly/Nichole go in the S2 finale tempted me in to thinking she had changed somehow. But then that made that Lincoln Memorial scene that much better.

- Who is this new Commander and what does he want from Fred?

- And what does Fred want from all this too? I feel like he's indifferent about the baby. So what power is he seeking to gain?

[sarahnevra]

A Long Ramble (with some TMI, sorry) about gender and me

So... after reading a post on a different site (not gonna link it, its drama is honestly unrelated and is very much Not My Business to meddle in) my brain did its usual hop skip and jump over 50 different points to come to a realization that... I’m not really sure what it means?

A huge portion of my active OCs at this point are men or some flavor of nonbinary. I still have women on my roster, but they’re largely background/side anymore or very, very inactive. And a lot of my guy OCs are VERY FUCKING GAY or in monogamous relationships where they have chosen to be with a male partner and practice that monogamy without women involved.

On one hand, I worry a lot that this could be construed as me fetishizing gay men. Which I’m trying actively not to do. I know the reputation fujoshi get, and the rabid “women are a threat to my m/m ship!!!1!” mentality I see in some fandoms is... frankly disturbing. I very actively do not engage in that and when I ship established male characters I simply abide by “do not interact if you don’t like” as far as other ships (het or otherwise) go and I actively avoid engaging in any sort of real person/actor shipping specifically to keep from creeping on people I could genuinely hurt through my direct actions.

But... y’all. I make guys. I ship my guys. My guys have a LOT of sex. Like, a lot. I’m finding that I do this with my personal OCs because I just... don’t relate to my gender most of the time. I do not relate to being a woman in many ways. I understand the struggles because I am treated as a woman by society, I have rare days where I feel very happily girly, but the vast majority of the time I just get a blank. I can look in a mirror and say “girl” and I get... nothing. No positive or affirmative feeling towards the statement. No major negative most of the time. Just... nothing.

And when I do perform western traditional femininity it’s... not because I’m trying to be girly. I have a big swishy skirt because it’s fucking comfortable, y’know? I have a couple of dresses in my closet because I think they’re cute and because I like how they feel when I put them on, not because I think I’m beautiful in them. I have makeup but I rarely use it; my favorite stuff is garish, weird lipstick colors that I can only get away with when I go out because I’m a fat girl and nobody gives a shit what I do anyway unless they’re actively shitting on me for other reasons to begin with.

I do not feel related to my body except in negative ways most of the time. I am FAT. I am not attractive by any stretch of the imagination. I have many habits and preferences that are decidedly unfeminine and if I wasn’t 80% invisible by society’s standards I know I would catch hell for a lot of it.

(TMI to follow, period talk) The time of the month that most reminds me that I am born with woman parts makes me HATE MY BODY. Violently. I have literally had to ask my husband to talk me away from stabbing myself because I hate how this makes me feel. I hate the pain, I hate the massive mood swings and violent food cravings, I hate the migraines, I hate the horrendous gastrointestinal distress it causes, I hate feeling DISGUSTING the entire time, I hate not being able to sleep without utterly exhausting myself. I am on multiple hormonal forms of birth control just to get this to a manageable level and it is somewhat working, I only have a period once every couple months now, but I still violently hate my own body when it comes on. The implant and pills now allow me to have a few days of strong PMS, the week of the event, and a few days of post instead of a week or more of wicked PMS, a week or more on the rag with full raging symptoms, and a full week or more of harsh symptoms after the bleeding actually ends. You read that right, I was basically non-functional in society outside my home before I got on something that stopped me having regular periods. 3-4 weeks out of the month I was fucked. It’s marginally better now but only because I’m on extra medication that might, y’know, put me at major risk of depression and anxiety (oh wait, i already have those and it’s impossible to tell without having a shrink whether this is making it worse or not) and weight gain, among other things.

(Still TMI, this one’s about sex) On top of all that, I don’t masturbate in any kind of healthy way. I get a vague craving to get off, I turn on a large vibrator, hold it in place, and I’m done when it finishes. That’s it. I don’t know what to DO with my body. I can’t stand touching it, I barely even know what it looks like, and what I imagine makes me feel sick. The few times I’ve been in the mood for my husband to be with me over the past decade it’s been because I want to give him something, not because I wanted pleasure. And, y’all? The last time was more than three years ago. The dom I was with during college... eh. I performed for him. It was... okay, sort of? I got off. But I usually felt weird after and I’ve come to realize I was not in a good place for that, I was exhausting myself trying to give something to him that I just didn’t have. I do not want my body touched anymore. I do not want to touch. I hate my body and how it feels and what it does to me and I can’t stand the idea of somebody else touching it either. I cannot relate to my own body or pleasure and I can barely, on some good days, relate to feminine pleasure. And even THAT is using alien biology!

Okay, TMI done.

Overall, I don’t know what I am or what I should do and I worry that I’m inadvertently hurting someone because most of the way I relate to a character right now is by trying to act through them as a man. And some of my boys are SOFT BOYS, believe me, but they’re still BOYS. And I feel like I need that. But I don’t know what it means.

[stanx24-blog]

How to lose weight

For most people who are overweight or obese, the safest and most effective way to lose weight is to eat less and exercise more. If you eat less and exercise more, you will lose weight. It's as simple as that. There are no magic pills. Diets that sound too good to be true are just that.

Effective weight loss plans include several parts. You will find tips for achieving these goals in the next sections.

Eating less: Unless you eat fewer calories than your body uses, you will not lose weight.

Physical activity: Any good diet plan will include physical activity. Physical activity burns calories and is one less opportunity to eat during the day. You should exercise for at least 30 minutes, five times a week. Regular exercise also has many other health benefits.

Change in habits and attitudes: Most people have enough willpower to lose weight for a few weeks. To lose enough weight to improve your health and keep it off, you will need to change the way you think about food and exercise. As you eat, try to understand some of the hidden reasons you eat. You can learn to spot situations in which you overeat and head off the overeating. You can learn to enjoy eating less and being active.

Support: Many people find that enlisting friends, family, and coworkers for support is helpful in losing weight. Others prefer groups such as Weight Watchers or Take Off Pounds Sensibly (TOPS) to keep them motivated. The important thing is to seek the support you need to achieve your goals.

Drastic changes in eating habits, such as not eating at all (fasting), are usually unsuccessful. Eating too few calories causes your metabolism to slow down, meaning the body burns fewer calories.

Don't believe claims about losing weight while you sleep or watch TV, or plans that claim to cause weight loss without dieting or exercise. Such gimmicks just don't work. They may even be unsafe or unhealthy.

Of special interest to women who have gained weight during pregnancy is that breastfeeding helps you shed some extra pounds. It is good for your baby too.

4/9

Eating Less

Pay attention to serving sizes (portion control). Read food labels to find out how many calories and fat calories are in a serving. Keep a food diary or log to find ways to eliminate extra calories.

Eat fewer calories. By decreasing calorie intake by 500 per day, you will lose 1 pound a week. One way to eat fewer calories is to limit your fat intake. No more than 30% of your daily calorie intake should be fat calories.

Foods that contain large amounts of fat might surprise you. Many types of baked goods, such as crackers, cookies, cakes, pancakes, waffles, pastries, and special breads, have high fat levels. So do many prepared, convenience, and take-out foods.

Fat-free foods are not necessarily low-calorie foods. Fat-free versions of popular snacks often contain simple carbohydrates that are rapidly absorbed and converted to body fat if consumed in excess.

Eat fat-free or low-fat dairy products such as cheese or frozen yogurt. Consider changing from whole milk to skim milk.

Substitute egg whites or a product such as Eggbeaters for whole eggs.

If you eat meat, eat it in moderation. Lean meats, skinless chicken and turkey, and seafood are good choices.

Avoid high-fat foods such as popcorn, potato chips, snack crackers and cakes, cookies, cakes, pizza, cold cuts and other fatty meats, pancakes, waffles, sour or sweet cream, cream cheese and other whole-fat cheeses, butters and oils, peanut butter, olives, oil-based sauces and salad dressings, nuts, special breads and pastries, and fried foods.

Replace high-fat foods with the same quantity of low-fat, low-calorie food.

Prepare foods with little or no oils, butter, or other fats.

Remember, however, that some fat is necessary for a healthy body and mind. Doing away with all fat is not desirable.

Low-fat foods such as vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and legumes will help you feel full. This helps you lose weight or control your weight.

Avoid sugary foods such as candies, jellies and jams, honey, and syrups. These foods offer little nutritional value and tend to be converted to fat quickly.

Limit alcoholic beverages, which provide empty calories -- calories that have no other nutritional value. Women should have no more than one alcoholic drink and men no more than two alcoholic drinks a day. An alcoholic drink is 4 ounces of wine, 12 ounces (one standard bottle or can) of beer, or ½ ounce of distilled liquor.

Don't stop eating altogether. Fasting may result in rapid weight loss, but most of this weight will be water and possibly even muscle. Your body slows its metabolism, making it very difficult to maintain any weight loss.

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Healthy Meals for Weight Loss

Smart dietary guidelines

The American Heart Association recommends the following dietary guidelines, which are suitable for most adults.

Eat five or more fresh fruits and vegetables each day.

Eat six or more servings of grains (preferably whole grains) each day.

Eat fat-free and low-fat dairy, legumes, seafood, and lean meats.

Avoid foods with more than 2 grams of saturated fat per serving.

Balance your caloric intake with your energy expenditure.

Limit junk food, which is high in simple carbohydrates and low in nutrition.

Limit foods high in saturated fat and cholesterol. Eat less than 6 grams of salt each day.

General food preparation and meal planning tips: Try to eat servings of fruits and vegetables at every meal. Besides being delicious, they are full of nutrients and fiber. They may even help prevent certain cancers.

Boil, steam, bake, roast, or broil foods rather than frying in fat.

Use unsaturated fats, such as vegetable oils, rather than saturated fats such as butter, shortening, and lard.

Use olive oil spray rather than cooking oils to prepare foods.

Eat white meat chicken or turkey, lean meat, fish, or seafood. Trim the skin from poultry.

Use low-fat or nonfat dairy products.

To season foods, choose lemon or lime juice, vinegar, low-sodium soy sauce, plain tomato sauce, salsa and other sauces low in fat, or mustard. Use garlic, onions, ginger, and herbs and spices to flavor foods.

Avoid high-fat and high-calorie condiments such as mayonnaise, oil, ketchup, salad dressing, or prepared sauces.

Drink seltzer, water, caffeine-free soda, tea, or coffee with meals.

Breakfast suggestions

1 cup of juice or fruit

Egg whites or an egg substitute scrambled or prepared as an omelet in olive oil spray

Oatmeal or any sugar-free cereal with 6-8 ounces of skim milk

Low-fat cream cheese, low-fat cottage cheese, or nonfat yogurt

Caffeine-free tea or coffee

Lunch suggestions

½ cup of cooked vegetables, such as peas, string beans, asparagus, broccoli, summer squash, escarole, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, or carrots

½ cup of a leafy vegetable, such as spinach, kale, or chard

Green salad, plain or seasoned with fat-free dressing, vinegar, lemon, or any combination of these (no oil) -- include greens and raw vegetables such as tomato, bell peppers, cucumber, sprouts, radish, onion, cabbage, mushrooms, and celery

½ cup whole-grain pasta in meat-free tomato sauce

Sandwiches made of whole-grain or sourdough bread

2 ounces of water-packed tuna or salmon

Two slices of a low-fat cold cut or deli meat

1-2 ounces of low-fat cheese

Supper suggestions

½ cup of cooked vegetables, such as peas, string beans, asparagus, broccoli, summer squash, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, or carrots

½ cup of a leafy vegetable, such as spinach, kale, or chard

Green salad, plain or seasoned with fat-free dressing, vinegar, lemon, or any combination of these (no oil) -- include greens and raw vegetables such as tomato, bell peppers, cucumber, sprouts, radish, onion, cabbage, mushrooms, and celery

½ chicken breast, baked, or four slices of turkey, skin removed

White fish, such as snapper or fillet of sole, baked or steamed in plain tomato sauce, lemon or both

Two slices of whole-grain or sourdough bread or ½ cup of a whole grain such as brown rice

1/3 cup (or less) of fat-free yogurt or fat-free sour cream

For dessert

One small slice of cake or one cookie, low-fat or fat-free and cholesterol-free

½ cup of fat-free ice cream or fat-free frozen yogurt

Fresh fruit

If you choose to drink alcohol, do so in moderation (no more than two drinks per day for men or one drink per day for women).

To satisfy hunger between meals, eat unlimited quantities of celery, lettuce, mushrooms, green or red peppers, asparagus, cauliflower, cucumber, and broccoli.

Eating away from home

When eating in a restaurant, plan ahead. Think about ordering low-fat, low-calorie foods. Remember that most restaurants serve portions much larger than an accepted serving size.

Ask for a doggy bag or take-out container when you order. As soon as the food comes, set aside half (or more) for future meals. Then eat what is left on your plate. This will help keep you from overeating.

Skip the breadbasket and the appetizer.

Ask for foods to be prepared without frying or sauces.

Avoid high-fat side orders such as french fries, coleslaw, and garlic bread.

Order salad dressings on the side and dip your fork in the dressing, then spear the salad.

Drink plenty of plain water.

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Increasing Your Activity Level

Moderate physical activity, such as walking, helps you lose weight and keep your weight down. At least 30 minutes of exercise a day is recommended.

Try to exercise at least five days a week.

Not exercising will sabotage any weight loss plan. Add movement, even in short 10-minute bursts throughout your day to get in 30 minutes a day.

Simple measures such as parking at the far end of the parking lot and taking the stairs instead of the elevator eventually add up to help you lose weight.

Exercise strengthens your muscles and improves the function of your heart and lungs.

If you are obese, particularly if you are inactive or have medical problems, check with a health care professional before starting an exercise program.

Walking

When walking for weight loss, distance is important, not speed. Wear a pedometer to measure your steps and then find ways to add steps during your daily activity.

To exercise, walk at a pace and distance that puts no strain on the body. Set reasonable goals. If you walk until you become tired, you will be exhausted when you stop.

Walk with smooth, rhythmic motions at an easy pace.

Each time you walk, walk slowly for the first five minutes to warm up. After five minutes, walk for 10 minutes at a faster rate if you can. Do not overdo it. You may stop to rest at any time.

When you have walked for 10 minutes without stopping, your first goal has been reached. The new goal should be to walk for a little longer time (say, 12 minutes). Continue to set new goals without overdoing it. It is important not to walk too fast or too long.

Chart your progress.

Other activities

Ride your bicycle to work or to the store.

Buy an exercise bike and pedal while watching TV or talking on the phone. Keep track of your mileage.

Join an exercise class appropriate for your level of activity and your medical condition. Water aerobics is a popular choice. Start slow.

Even weekend chores use calories if you do them the physical way.

Skip the riding lawn mower and use a push mower.

Wash your car manually.

Use a rake, hoe, and shovel for gardening chores.

Exercise tips

To let your skin breathe during workouts, wear loose clothing. Wear comfortable jogging shoes or sneakers.

Drink plenty of water before and after exercising. This will replace water lost by perspiration and prevent dehydration. If you want to carry a water bottle, you can drink while exercising.

Check your pulse rate frequently (every five minutes) while exercising.

Normal resting pulse rate may vary between 60 and 90 beats per minute.

Your pulse should increase somewhat while exercising. The pulse rate may increase up to 120. It is normal to become somewhat short of breath. If you are so short of breath that you cannot speak comfortably, stop for a rest and then continue at a slower rate.

While exercising, make it a point not to hold your breath. Holding your breath deprives the body of oxygen. Inhale with one movement, and exhale with another.

Do not continue exercising if you feel pain. Stop and take a break. If you continue to feel pain, talk to a health care professional.

Keep a record of your activity. You will see progress over time.

SLIDESHOW

Top Diets: The Best Dieting Tips Ever

See Slideshow

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Changing Your Habits and Staying Motivated to Fight Obesity

Changing your habits

Eat slowly and chew your food well. This helps you feel satisfied with less food.

The amount of food you eat is more important that the type of food. Think portion control. Familiarize yourself with official serving sizes, and measure and weigh foods accordingly.

Keep a record of when you eat, what you eat, and how much. This will help you spot situations in which you tend to overeat.

Avoid or limit comfort foods which are easily eaten foods (such as macaroni and cheese, ice cream, chocolate) that are used to modify your mood.

Don't give in to food cravings. These are typically foods with a high sugar content that cause your brain to release hormones that temporarily make you feel happy. These foods have addictive properties, so once you start eating them, it's difficult to stop.

Do not skip meals, especially breakfast. You will just be hungrier and more likely to overeat at the next meal.

Do not read or watch television while you eat.

Reduce your appetite by drinking one glass of water 30 minutes before each meal. If your stomach is not empty, food does not look as appetizing.

Drinking tea (especially green tea, white tea, and pu-erh tea) has also been suggested as a weight loss aid. Tea may contain caffeine, which acts as a stimulant. Tea also has no calories (assuming you don't add sugar or milk). Much like drinking water, drinking tea can make you feel full, thereby suppressing your appetite and reducing food cravings.

Stock your refrigerator with healthy, low-calorie foods. Snack on baby carrots instead of microwave popcorn. Don't keep high-fat snacks around the house.

Put a sign on the refrigerator that will help you think twice about snacking.

Reward yourself for specific achievements, such as exercising longer than you had planned or eating less of a tempting food. Of course, the reward should not be food.

Staying motivated

People often set unrealistic goals for themselves, only to feel guilt when they cannot stay on a diet or exercise program. Make changes in small steps. Look for small gains (that is, weight losses). Losing 1 pound a week is a reasonable goal.

Losing even 10% of your excess body weight can significantly lower your risk of obesity-related health problems. This is a good goal to start with.

Do not weigh yourself too often. Weigh yourself only once a week in the morning. An increase in weight of 1 pound or 2 may not be a true weight gain. It may be the result of water retention.

Group support programs such as Weight Watchers or TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) give you the support and encouragement of others with the same problem. They also promote healthy living practices.

For those who don't have the time to make it to support groups, there are now many free or low cost apps available for the iPhone, iPad, or Android which help determine and track calories, nutrition, and calorie expenditure. Try LoseIt!, Weight Watchers Mobile, Restaurant Nutrition, 40:30:30, Diet Point, or Noom Weight Loss Coach.

It is perfectly normal to go off your plan on occasion. Don't be too hard on yourself, and don't quit! Get back on track the next day.

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Diet Plans: Beware

There are too many weight-loss diet plans to address each of them here. A few are discussed below.

Dean Ornish Diet

This is a very strict low-fat diet. Besides causing you to lose weight, it also decreases your cholesterol and has been scientifically proven to reverse coronary artery disease. Some people on this diet have decreased the size of the plaques in the arteries supplying the heart, thereby avoiding the need for open-heart bypass surgery.

The diet involves intensive lifestyle changes.

A vegetarian diet that includes 10% fat calories

Moderate aerobic exercise

Stress-management training including yoga and meditation

Smoking cessation

Group psychosocial support

Caution: The American Heart Association cautions that very low-fat diets may increase triglycerides. Increasing exercise and taking a flaxseed or fish oil supplement can minimize this risk.

Very low-fat diets may be difficult for all but the most motivated and disciplined people.

The Atkins Diet

This diet restricts carbohydrates. The introduction phase (two weeks or more) restricts carbohydrates to less than 20 grams per day. This excludes most fruits and vegetables and relies on a diet of mostly animal fats and protein.

It is true that simple carbohydrates, such as sugar and white flour, pasta, and rice, and alcohol, are rapidly absorbed and cause weight gain when consumed in excess. They should be avoided by people who are overweight or obese.

On the other hand, complex carbohydrates such as whole grains, brown rice, fruits, vegetables, grains, beans, and soy products are rich in fiber, which slows their absorption. In moderation, they are excellent food choices for overweight and obese people. They should make up a significant proportion of the diet. And yet these are also strictly limited by the Atkins diet.

Numerous studies have shown that excess animal protein in the diet increases the risks of breast and prostate cancers, heart disease, kidney disease, and osteoporosis. Fats and proteins break down in the body to substances called ketones. The large amounts of fat and protein in the Atkins diet are likely to cause an excess of ketones in the body, a condition called ketosis.

Caution: This diet may not be appropriate for people with diabetes, and its safety in pregnant or breastfeeding women has not been established. It also establishes unhealthy eating habits.

The hCG Diet

Human chorionic gonadotropin is a hormone produced during pregnancy. This new diet plan claims that HCG can suppress appetite. The FDA, however, has not approved HCG for weight loss, and it must be prescribed by a physician. Over-the-counter preparations are often labeled as "homeopathic" but contain very little, if any, of the actual hormone. People lose weight on this diet because the plan calls for a restriction of calories to 500 per day. This is not healthy, and one is likely to regain any weight lost during the severe calorie restriction.

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Medications and Surgery for Obesity

For people who are overweight and have been unable to lose weight with diet and exercise, consulting a weight-loss clinic may help. There are several prescription diet pills that are now available.

Sibutramine (Meridia) is a prescription medication approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in 1996. It may be recommended for people who are more than 30 pounds overweight. In clinical trials, people who took this drug lost an average of 5%-10% of their body weight. It may also help to keep weight off. It works by making the person feel full and thereby decreases food intake. It may cause an increase in blood pressure and should not be used by people who are on a number of other medications, such as antidepressants.

Orlistat (Xenical 120 mg by prescription or Alli 60 mg available over the counter) is a medication approved by the FDA in 1999. Your doctor may prescribe it if you weigh more than 30% over your healthy body weight or have a BMI greater than 30. Over one year, people who followed a weight-loss diet and took orlistat lost an average of 13.4 pounds, almost 8 pounds more than people who used diet alone to lose weight. It works by reducing the absorption of fat from the intestine. Diarrhea and incontinence of stool may be side effects of this medicine.

Lorcaserin (Belviq 10 mg one to two times daily) was just approved by the FDA in June 2012. It may be considered if your BMI is 30 or greater or if you have a BMI greater than 27 with weight-related conditions. Studies demonstrated that almost half of patients lost an average of 5% of their body weight when combined with diet and exercise (compared to 25% of patients with diet and exercise alone). Lorcaserin works by activating the serotonin 2C receptor in the brain, which helps you feel full after smaller portions. The most common side effects were headache, nausea, and dizziness.

Qsymia (combination of phentermine and topiramate) was just approved by the FDA in July 2012. It is only approved for those with a BMI greater than 27 with weight-related conditions. When combined with diet and exercise, studies have shown that half of the participants lost 10% of their body weight and four-fifths lost 5% (which equates to 12 pounds in a 227-pound person). Topiramate is associated with a high risk of birth defects such as cleft lip and palate. Phentermine (an appetite suppressant) was one of the ingredients in fen-phen and is associated with an elevation in heart rate. Because of these potentially serious side effects, Qsymia is only available through mail order. Other side effects include tingling, dizziness, alterations in taste, insomnia, dry mouth, and constipation.

Surgery to correct obesity (known as bariatric surgery) is a solution for some obese people who cannot lose weight on their own or have severe obesity-related medical problems. Generally, surgery is recommended only for morbidly obese people (body mass index 40 or greater) or for those with a BMI of 35 and greater or who have weight related-conditions. This generally means men who are at least 100 pounds overweight and women who are at least 80 pounds overweight.