jojorickart-blog

[rosicheeks]

Like Real People Do is my favorite Hozier song and I think of you every time I listen to it

[httplilyyy]

𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 || 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐀 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐎

pairing: alessia russo x reader

summary: the world seemed to be falling apart at your fingertips.

warnings: swearing, hurt / comfort (i think?)

word count: 2.3k

a/n: listened to some sad songs (specifically sign of the times) and this was the outcome. it's a bit of a shambles but oh well.

woso masterlist

The final whistle blew and you felt yourself crumble to the ground. Laying on your back, you hid your face in your hands as the Spanish players celebrated around you.

It all came crashing down at once. You no longer held the high of being in a world cup final, only feeling sadness and remorse.

You soon felt a pat on your stomach causing you to remove your hands from your face. Your eyes met Mary’s, the goalkeeper looking down at you with dejection.

She managed to pull you to your feet and without any words uttered between each other, you knew how badly this loss hurt.

Scanning the pitch, your eyes struggled to find one particular person. But once your eyes locked with hers, you saw the tears streaming down her cheeks as she desperately tried to stop them falling.

As if your mind was in a world of its own, your legs carried you towards her. Your arms wrapped around her waist as she hid her face in your neck.

You held onto the striker with all your might, whispering comforting words in her ear as she sobbed uncontrollably into your shoulder.

Resting your chin on the top of her head, you looked at your teammates, each of them coping with the loss in different ways but you don’t think they could be feeling as bad as you did.

Your body went numb from the pain, you felt like you didn't have any more tears to cry. You didn't have the energy to do so anyway.

If you didn’t let yourself get distracted for one second, then you wouldn't have lost the ball in your own half leading to Spain's goal.

All you wanted to do was crawl into a hole and disappear. Even the sympathetic gazes felt judgmental. You could practically hear the news screaming at you for being the reason why England lost the world cup.

But despite how you were feeling, you made sure that Alessia was alright, all the way up until you were back in your hotel room.

Swiping the key card on the door, your heart started to feel just that bit more heavier. Walking into your shared room with Alessia you sat on the edge of your bed, your head finding its place back in your hands.

You hadn’t spoken a word to your girlfriend since the two of you were on the pitch and you could feel the tension. You hated it.

Before you could realise what you were doing, it was like the both of you were on autopilot. The two of you getting ready for bed but not daring to look each other in the eyes.

It pained you that Alessia felt as if she couldn’t confide in you anymore. You could hear her silent sniffles as the blonde tried her hardest to keep herself together.

“Less?” You tried, looking up from your bag.

“Yeah?” Alessia said hoarsely, her voice betraying her leading her to clear her throat.

“You know you can talk to me, right?” You said softly, nervously waiting for her response.

“Of course.” She replied but still not daring to look at you.

“Do you want to talk about anything?” You asked, walking over to her.

Placing your hands on her waist, you turned her around so she was facing you. Although, she kept her gaze on the floor.

“It’s all my fault.” Alessia said, the back of her throat burning from the unshed tears.

“Less, it’s not your fault.” You said, reaching for her hands but she moved them away.

“It is, if I played better then I wouldn't have been taken off and if-”

“Baby, its not-”

“What, ‘it’s not my fault’? Just stop! What else do you want me to say? Huh? That it's your fault instead?” Alessia snapped, throwing her hands up in the air and stepping out of your hold, finally looking at you in the eyes.

“If it makes you feel better, yes!” You said, taking a step forward only for Alessia to move two paces back.

“Fine! It’s all your fault! You were the defender, you made the mistake. It's. All. Your. Fault.”

“I know and I'm sorry.” You replied, eyes brimming with tears.

“Sorry isn’t going to change anything!”

“I know, I just-”

“You just what, huh?” Alessia questioned rhetorically.

“I should’ve tried harder.”

“You should try harder in a lot of things.” Alessia said dryly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You stopped, taken back by her comment.

“Don’t act like we aren't falling apart.” Alessia stressed, her hands coming up to wipe away her tears.

“Couples fight, Less.”

“But that’s all we’ve been doing. We don’t spend any time together. It’s like we're not even a couple anymore.”

“Is that really what you think?”

“I don’t know what to think anymore. You’re barely home, always out doing god knows what.”

“I’m out training.”

“All the time? Seriously?”

“Well, not all the time but-”

“I can’t do this anymore, y/n.”

“What do you mean, you can’t do this?” You questioned, your heart jumping to your throat.

“This, whatever this is.” Alessia said, pointing between the two of you. “Us.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” You wondered, your voice a lot quieter than it was.

“I dont know.” Alessia huffed, the palms of her hands digging into her eyes. “Maybe a break would be best for us."

“If that’s what you really want?”

“You’re not going to fight for us or anything?”

“Jesus Less, what do you want me to say?”

“Anything! Something to show me that you still love me!”

“Fuck! Of course I love you! There isn’t anyone else in the world who I love more than you!”

You don’t know where it all went wrong. One moment it was about the world cup and the next it was about your relationship. Or rather what was your relationship.

The two of you looked at each other, chests rising up and down rapidly as you tried to calm down.

“Where’s this all coming from Less?” You questioned softly.

“I don’t- I uh, I’m just going to go to bed.” Alessia said, dismissing you as she climbed under her covers.

“Oh, well, good night then.” You said, smiling sadly to yourself.

Making your way to the other bed in the hotel room, you got under the covers yourself and pulled the duvet up to your chin. You could feel the tears falling down your face but you paid them no mind as you stared up at the ceiling, your mind slowly drifting off to sleep.

You don't know how long you were asleep for but you were woken up by the sound of shuffling and sniffles. From the corner of your eye, you could see the silhouette of Alessia moving around in her bed.

A loud huff filled the silence of the room and just when you were about to go back to sleep, Alessia spoke up.

“Y/n?” She questioned quietly, voice breaking as she tried not to cry again.

“Yeah?” You replied, resting an arm behind your head as the other laid on your waist.

“Can I- never mind.” Alessia said, rolling over onto her side.

“What’s up?” You asked, tilting your head to look at her, only to be met with her back.

“Nothing, just go back to sleep.”

You huffed to yourself, contemplating what you were going to do for a while before you pushed back the covers and made your way over to Alessia’s bed.

“Budge up.” You said, tapping Alessia’s back gently.

“What?” Alessia questioned, tilting her head to look up at you.

“C’mon, scooch.”

Alessia did as she was told and moved so you could slip into bed behind her. You wrapped an arm around her waist, placing your head on the pillow.

The striker immediately melted at your touch and for the first time that night, carried a small smile on her face.

“Get some sleep, my love.” You whispered, placing a kiss behind her ear.

“But-”

“Nope, we can talk in the morning.” You cut her off, pulling the duvet up for the both of you.

It didn’t take you long before you were asleep and many hours passed before you were woken up again. This time you were awoken by the sun peaking through the blinds and beaming down on you.

It was still the early hours of the morning, but you decided to get up. Just as you were about to, you felt a body start to shake beside you. Your arm, caught under the pillow, being held down by Alessia’s head.

You could see how, with every sob, Alessia’s body would shake. A hand covered her mouth, desperate for you not to hear her but it was no use.

“Less?” You questioned tiredly.

Not getting a response, you used your free hand to pull on Alessia’s shoulder, forcing her to turn towards you. She looked at you, her bright blue eyes showing her pain as she tried not to crumble at your touch.

She fully turned into you, her hands gripping onto your t-shirt, afraid that you’d go somewhere. burying her head in your chest, you wrapped your arms around her, rubbing a soothing hand up and down her back whilst the other ran its fingers through her hair.

With each movement you made, Alessia clutched onto you harder. She was getting more and more worked up, your top now completely soaked with her tears. Seeing her like this made your heart twist painfully.

“I- I-” Alessia said, trying to get a word out, her voice breaking as she spoke.

“Hey, you’re okay.” You said, pulling her head to rest just above your heart. “Focus on my heartbeat.”

After a little while Alessia’s sobs ceased and her grip on your shirt lessened. You kept her close to your chest as she calmed down. Once she pulled away you finally got a look at her face.

Her eyes were bloodshot and red, her cheeks were all blotchy and her eyes no longer seemed to hold the illuminous blue that they always do. Her throat kept bobbing up and down as she tried to keep the tears at bay.

You reached a hand to cup her cheek, brushing away the stray tears. She leaned into your palm, giving it a kiss.

“You okay?” You asked, voice cracking as you were so quiet.

Alessia went to speak but opted for a small nod instead. You let out a small chuckle and pulled her back into your embrace.

You rested your cheek on the top of her head, inhaling the scent of her shampoo.

“Want to tell me what’s got you so worked up?” You tried again.

“You.” Alessia sniffled, her response coming out muffled as she nestled in your neck.

“Me?” You parroted.

“About last night.”

“Oh.”

“I took the loss out on you and I'm so sorry.”

“It’s okay, promise.” You assured her, “and I know I’ve not been the best partner recently.”

“Why is that?”

“I wanted to surprise you with something but it fell through and I didn't want to take my stress out on you.”

“Oh.” Alessia mumbled.

“What?”

“I uh I just thought you didn’t love me anymore.”

A lump forms in your throat and you feel tears prickling the back of your eyes. You swallow the emotion and try again but it doesn't work.

“God, Less I'm so sorry.” You said, feeling the back of your throat burn. “For everything.”

“Maybe we need to work on some things.” Alessia said with a small shrug..

“Definitely, maybe my defending a bit more.” You said jokingly.

“Oh one-hundred percent.” Alessia laughed.

“Hey!”

“But seriously,” Alessia said, sitting up so she was facing you, “if you want us to work, you need to talk to me and not shut me out.”

“I’ll work on that, I promise. I never want to make you feel like that again.”

“I know.” Alessia smiled but it soon turned into a frown. “I kind of don’t want to go home.”

“Why not?” You wonder, sitting up too.

“I know we made history by getting into the final it's just-”

“-Not the same.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m not sure i can say the same.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, as much as I am heartbroken over the loss and I’ll be beating myself up about it for the rest of my life, I can’t wait to get back home and finally just have some me and you time.”

“That does sound nice.”

“I won't miss the spiders, that's for sure.”

“I’ll bring one back just for you.” Alessia teased.

“Oh really?” You questioned, raising an eyebrow to test her.

“Yup.”

“God, I love you.” You said, flopping back onto the bed and looking at the ceiling.

“Yeah, yeah. I love you too.” Alessia smiled, leaning over and pressing a hand to your chest so she could place a kiss on your lips.

When she pulled away you chased after her but she pushed you back onto the mattress.

“That’s all you’re getting for now.”

“For now, hmm?” You said, wiggling your eyebrows.

Alessia rolled her eyes but leaned in for another kiss. You gently cupped her cheek, pulling away from the kiss to look in her eyes. You leaned forward once more peppering kisses to her forehead, then to her nose, to her cheek, jaw, all over her face.

You felt Alessia’s cheeks pull up into a smile causing you to stop and look at her once again. Not saying anything you fell back on the bed, bringing Alessia with you.

She rested her head on your chest, intertwining your fingers and resting them on your stomach before you both drifted back off to sleep. The two of you smiling despite the outcome of yesterday's match and argument.

There wasn’t anything that could pull you apart.

[saintshigaraki]

he’s made one for himself, one for me too (and one of these days he’ll make one for you)

pairing: dabi x gn!reader

words: 900ish 

excerpt: You’ve made a mistake, a terrible, terrible mistake, and you know now, startlingly, that there’s no going back.

tags: angst, hurt no comfort

There’s no one like Dabi who makes you realize just how thin the line between love and hate can be. 

He draws the type of anger out of you that makes you nonsensical with rage. Every word out of your mouth is swallowed up by a fog of red. The type of rage that makes you near uncontrollable, like you don’t quite have the hold on yourself that you should. It’s the type of rage that makes you, for a split moment, understand what pushes people to murder. 

You two have been going in circles for so long now that you couldn’t even say what prompted this particular argument. 

“Jesus fuck,” he finally interrupts your seemingly endless tirade, breaking the cycle you’ve locked yourself into. “What crawled up your ass and died?” 

His words are crude, crass, and blunt, as always. You think if you had to describe him in three words, those would be the words you’d choose. Crude, crass, and blunt. 

(And lost. Sad, too. You think Dabi is mostly a supremely sad individual.)

It isn’t so much his astute comment on your behavior that has the next rage-induced words dying on your tongue as much as it is the look he’s giving you. He’s exasperated, of course, as are you, but there’s also a look of genuine confusion twisting up his face that has the last of the red veil of rage lifting from your eyes. 

What is wrong with you? Why are so, so very angry? 

You chance another look up at him across your tiny kitchen. Under the shitty, fluorescent lighting, he looks like he’s on death’s door. His scars spread farther and farther and farther; by the day, by the minute, it feels like. 

And you recognize the anger for what it really is now–dread. Heavy and terrible and swallowing up all your vital organs. Chewing you up like a shadowed, hulking, terrible beast. 

He’s dying. Dabi’s dying, and you’re watching it happen. You’re getting a front-row seat to it, actually. 

“I-” you start, but the rest of whatever you were going to choke out falls away to devastation. 

Tears, hot and acidic, distort the look of horror on Dabi’s face as you double over against the counter. You can’t breathe; you can’t breathe. There’s an iron-hot poker in your throat, and you can’t fucking breathe around it as you try desperately to calm yourself down.

Dabi’s presence is warm behind you, sweltering. His hand is on your shoulder, an insistent pressure forcing you to turn back to him. You grasp wildly at his wrist for support as you take great heaving breaths trying desperately to stifle your sobs, but stifling just makes it all so much worse. It’s water on a grease fire. 

Grief has cracked you open and left you nothing but a walking, talking wound. And it’s all your fault. It’s not like Dabi has ever gone out of his way to hide his end goal from you. He’s always been painfully honest with you. So, really, it’s all your fault. 

You rack your brain trying to understand what your past rationale was. What were you thinking, getting involved with him? What exactly did you think was going to happen? 

It was just supposed to be a fling, you suppose. That must’ve been it. That’s what it started as. He wasn’t supposed to be funny in that terribly sardonic, slightly cruel way that he is. He wasn’t supposed to be sweet, in a way you can only describe as particularly Dabi-like, with his thumb brushing your shoulder tenderly, his rough lips pressed against your temple as he murmured something you could hardly make out. He wasn’t supposed to be so warm next to you in bed, his heart so sturdy against your ear. 

You suppose you didn’t expect love to be something that could sneak up on you as it has with him. You turn away for one minuscule second and look back and now he’s everywhere, a poisonous, suffocating ivy. The invasive type that destroys everything in its path in its attempt to reach the sun. 

Where do you go from here? There’s certainly no going back, not from something so devastating. You think of all those things those people say who have lost their husbands and wives, how painful it was for them but how they wouldn’t change anything, not for the world. 

You don’t think that applies to you. 

You think if you had a choice, a do-over, you’d turn away as soon as you made eye contact with him in that bar. You’d turn away, and you’d never, ever look back. You weren’t built for suffering, not on a scale like this. Not this slow-eating mess of a train wreck. 

You’ve made a mistake, a terrible, terrible mistake, and you know now, startlingly, that there’s no going back. Your choices are cemented, and you must live with them. There is no escaping your grief, just like there is no escape for Dabi. You’re both fused together, cursed to eat each other alive. 

You love him. You love him so much it makes you beastly. An uncontrollable, raging beast. You love him, and he’s going to die. He’s going to do it to himself. He’s choosing to do it. He’s going to die, and you love him. 

Your sobs climb higher. You cling to him. He’s whispering something against your temple, but it’s all rushing water in your ear. 

What have you done? Oh God, oh god, oh god, you howl with selfish grief, what have you done?

[sigyns-drafts]

Can you do a ror loki and child reader hel needing help taking care of her rotten skin, so they do like skincare? Thank you!!

A/N: Gladly Anon, I absolutely adore these ideas with reader Hel and Loki. Thought I didn't expect RoR! Loki, how interesting~

This is going to be to write about~ <3

A fathers healing touch! 💜💚

➩ In the halls of Asgard, Loki, the god of mischief, found himself facing an unexpected challenge. His youngest daughter, Y/N, had been suffering from a mysterious ailment that caused her skin to rot.

Desperate to help her, Loki was desperate to find a solution, despite his usual penchant for chaos and mischief.

➩ Reader type: Reader!Child Hel and RoR!Loki

⚠: Struggling with skin conditions, rotten skin, single father Loki trying his best! 😭

“Y/N, my dear daughter, fear not. We shall find a remedy for your skin.."

Loki tries his best to reassure Y/N who found herself sobbing uncontrollably. She was panicked, distraught over her condition.

The constant pain, the oils and creams that never seemed to heal her, helping her in the slightest. It was tiring and she had almost lost all hope!

"But father! We tried everything, and nothing seems to work. I fear this rot will consume me.."

Y/N sobbed, about to throw away what the two had been brought to possibly heal her rotten skin. She hated this and herself for being born this way!

But right when she was about to, Loki grabs her wrist gently, never harsh towards her but understanding of her struggles.

She lowers her hand carefully while the girl sobbed, calming down from her fit of blind rage. Loki takes the ointments out of her grasp and makes Y/N face him.

"Nonsense, my child! There is always a solution. I'll travel out to find something, you stay home alright?"

Loki smiles reassuringly at Y/N, wiping away her tears and snot from her round little face, like he had done ever since she was a baby.

His precious little baby.

“Alright.. Please be careful.”

Now filled with the same goal as the previous one. Loki, concerned for his daughter's well-being, decided find help.

He knew he couldn't rely on the traditional remedies the gods used for this issue.

Instead, he had no choice but to venture into Midgard, the realm of humans, in search of a solution.

He hated that it had come to this, that he needed to seek out the humans' remedies instead of the gods.

He almost felt a little ashamed since It was supposed to be the opposite! But he would do anything to help and insure his daughters happiness and health.

Arriving at a bustling marketplace, Loki in disguise stumbled upon a small stall adorned with an array of skincare products.

Intrigued, he approached the vendor, met with an elderly woman who gave him a gentle smile.

"Excuse me, my lady," Loki began, not even trying to sound nice but just to get this over with. He needed to save his daughter!

"My daughter is in dire need of assistance. Her skin has taken a turn for the worse, and I seek a remedy to heal her."

The vendor studied Loki for a moment, the god suddenly feeling anxiety wash over him, he was worried she would see through his disguise for a moment before she just nodded knowingly.

Much to Loki's relief who thought he had been caught!

"Ah, the skin is a delicate canvas, especially in harsh conditions. Fear not, for I have just the solution for your daughter."

She handed Loki an assortment of creams, oils, and serums, explaining their benefits and how to use them.

Loki, grateful for her guidance, paid for the products and hurried back to Y/N in their divine realm.

Upon his return, Y/N greeted her father with a mix of curiosity and scepticism.

"What is all this, Father?" she inquired, eyeing the skincare products in his hands.

"These, my dear child, are the tools to restore your skin to its former glory,"

Loki declared with a confident grin.

"We shall test these out on you, it will be like us doing some skincare together~"

Y/N hesitant at first, trusted her father's judgement and agreed to give it a try.

With Loki's guidance, they began their skincare routine, applying the creams and oils with care and precision on the parts of Y/N's body where her skin had rotted.

Loki always made sure to stop if it brought Y/N any discomfort or was starting to hurt.

After all, the rotten skin was almost like burn marks, they were sensitive and could easily hurt by the slightest touch.

As they worked together, Y/N couldn't help but notice a change. Her skin, once dull and lifeless, started to regain its vitality.

The cracks began to heal slightly, and a healthy glow returned to her complexion but the scars were still there.

"This is remarkable, Father!" Y/N exclaimed, marvelling at her reflection.

"I never imagined this was possible to heal, thank you so much father!"

Loki beamed with pride, his heart swelling with affection for his daughter.

"Nothing is beyond our reach when we work together, darling~"

Loki spoke softly, pulling Y/N into a gentle hug before kissing the top of her head with love and compassion.

[tobeabatman]

sorry but your 'fat to thin weight-loss" post was more triggering than anything else in the thinspo tag. like i started uncontrollably sobbing after seeing it. people who's only goal is weight loss isn't going to be convinced by a post telling them that losing weight it a futile effort, all it will do is trigger more unhealthy behaviours/thoughts e.g after seeing that i thought 'well clearly they just didn't restrict enough, i'll be able to do it, i can prove it wrong'

Hey! I’m sorry it was triggering. I’ve taken the tag off the post now. I believe the tag was a bit mismatched otherwise as well.

Other than that, I won’t put trigger warnings on my post nor do I think the message otherwise should have been changed. I can avoid using certain tags if that does make people uncomfortable, though.

The truth is: fat to thin weight loss isn’t possible. It’s something that has been researched. Most people on the thinspo tag aren’t even fat, so the message doesn’t concern their bodies the same way it concerns fat bodies (which is why I believe the tag was out of place to begin with).

And I do understand that it’s a gloomy piece of information. Trust me, there’s still a part in my brain that feels saddened and out of control because of it. However, it is important to disclaim it to all the fat people out there who are trying to lose weight and end up in a deep sense of depression because they can’t, and always put the weight back on. A lot of people who are fat are depressed because they are told it’s their own fault that they can’t lose weight. We can’t live in a world where we never say: ”hey, btw, here’s research that proves your inability to permanently lose weight isn’t your fault”, especially when there’s industries benefitting from it.

And it’s important to say it because fat people can then better advocate for themselves in healthcare. When we know long-term weight loss isn’t even an achievable thing for most, then doctors can’t force us to lose weight as a solution to all our health problems. So many fat people die constantly because their only advice from a doctor was ”lose weight”. Things would be different if we accepted that those patients will never be thin permanently.

And I don’t know whether my explanation was needed or not for why I post stuff like that and this, but I’m sharing this so that I hopefully don’t look like an inconsiderate asshole when I don’t stop posting sh*t that can be triggering to people who are obsessed with losing weight. Point out any tags you don’t want me to use or want me to use, and I’ll try to compromise. I’m not going to stop saying stuff, especially when said stuff is backed up by research.

And I’m also not going to put a trigger warning (which they didn’t specifically ask for, but in case someone is wondering) on my stuff when so many fat people out there are mentally or physically ill, or dead because nobody’s saying anything, and when so many fat people could be empowered with these messages. People who haven’t worked on their (internalized) fatphobia will always be triggered by some parts of my content, and it’s not my job to undone other people’s biases. I’ll just try to aim for the right audience instead.

[messrmoonyy]

Messrmoonyy, I don't even know how it flew by so fast, but it's officially been a year since I started reading your fics. And throughout this year I experienced so much through your work, so i’m here to say a big Thank you!

Reading your writings is truly a magical experience. I always immerse myself completely in your words, they’re like my secret portal which takes me to another universe. I found comfort in them, i laughed, cried on a bathroom floor, was rolling around the bed while screaming and biting mi fist… I've been to Jackson, Boston, Lincoln and wherever you took me, Messr. You’ve been feeding my lust for Tess for a whole ass year now and I’ve read every single one fic from your Tess masterlist several times and absolutely loved and devoured every word of each. Pure talent and perfection. I admire you, your creativity and ability to breathe life into your writing, your kindness and helpfulness. You were actually the first person I read my first fic from and i was blown away as your writings are seriously better than many published books i have read. Since then, I can't remember a single day where I haven't checked your page. I’m thankful for all the excitement when you posted something, for counting down the days till the next week’s upload, even my destroyed sleep schedule and sobbing into the pillow uncontrollably (yes, i’m talking about 5+1 which i’ll never recover from i decided) and endless rambling to my friend about how much i loved everything about your fics. Your talent is truly remarkable and phenomenal and i’ll never shut up about it. You’ve inspired me so much, you’ve evoked strong emotions, thoughts in me, ignited my imagination through your words and kept my obsession with Tess alive. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions thanks to you, and for all that I owe you an incredible and huge thank you. So thank you so much for everything Messrmoonyy, I hope you know that even through your writing you are so so loved and aprecciated (all over the world i belive, i’m from Slovakia so also my english might not be perfect) and I wish you a wonderful day filled with joy and happiness, i love you! 💗💗💗

Plus i’m sending you pics of Tessa, look how she’s grown!!🤗

IM GONNA CRY WTF MAN 😭😭🫶🏻

I literally don’t even know what to say to this, you are so unbelievably kind thank you so so much. Honestly I always look forward to your feedback on everything I upload you have always been so incredibly supportive of anything I put out and it doesn’t go unnoticed I assure you. You are an angel.

I honestly can’t believe today is a year since I posted my first Tess post and I’m so thankful for everyone who’s come along with the journey and watched me improve and grow and fall into my own style. My number one goal is always to try and make people feel things, to be able to even just escape for a little while. And I’m so glad it comes across.

I honestly just don’t even know what to say I’m seriously gonna cry and re read this ask a million times over. Just thank you so so so much, for your kind words always and just cheering me on with every single thing I upload🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

And give your sweet baby lots of pets and nose boops from me.

[munson-blurbs]

I just read the one where the reader shows up at Eddie’s funeral. Holy shit.

IM FUCKING CRYING BUCKETS. HOW DARE YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS.

but your writing is so good. Like perfection.

Thank you for your kind words 💚💚 you can blame @trashmouth-richie for requesting it and making us all cry. Honestly, my goal in writing it was simply to make her sob uncontrollably, and I apologize to anyone else caught in the crossfire 🫣

[lunarblue21]

Fireplace, Ice, Night Sky and Sled

Thank you for the questions autumnwander! :)

🔥 Fireplace: what type of scene are you most comfortable writing? Emotional, action, dialogue-heavy?

I gotta say, I do like writing action scenes! Dialogue is something that I feel comes easy to me (especially for Ice Age fics becos I can "hear" Manny and Diego "speaking" to me, so well, for instance) but I don't like dialogue in a vacuum so oftentimes dialogue will come to me, sort of "out of context" and then I build a scene around it.

An example of this is the little missing scene btwn Manny, Diego, and Roshan in L23 where Diego, baffled, asks Manny for clarification about why he's so protective of Pinky because I definitely feel Diego nosed into or had questions about Manny (especially wrt Pinky!) before the cave paintings reveal the depth of his great tragedy and this was also teased a bit as well in my first fic ever posted, Peekaboo!

🥶 Ice: what’s been the most difficult scene for you to write?

Uh.... probably the death scenes of [redacted] and [redacted] in L21, or finally writing out the scene I had in my head for years of Diego dry sobbing at Half Peak as he loses everyone dear to him in Lacrimosa. Ngl those scenes made me actually and physically cry haha :'(

And yes, that WAS gonna be the original ending!! (Back when I thought that uncontrollable fic was only gonna be five chapters - I really wanted to write/get onto CI back in 2011 - but nooo it just had to be LONG. /grumble grumble).

Oh, and my fic, Tiger's Heart... the entire latter half of that fic were difficult scenes to write and writing that fic legitimately made me break down, and cry too, especially since I can see my CI-verse foreshadowing in it that I think is missed by most readers. 😭😭😭😭

🌟Night Sky: what are your writing goals for 2023? Or: how did you feel about your writing in 2022?

I'm going to answer this one first. Well, first of all, my writing goals for 2023 is officially and finally getting Cruel Intentions (bk 1) off the ground and getting it posted. Lacrimosa's L24 is halfway written atm (at 3k words :s) but I already have a good chunk of 20k material to alter and revise and chop it up into at least 1-4 (?) chapters for Cruel Intentions (1) for next year.

How I feel about my writing for this year? I am overall very happy! I am SO CLOSE to achieving my goal of reviving Lacrimosa - out of its 8 yr ffn hiatus - and completing it within 2022 like I planned when I revived it in Nov 2021. That alone makes me ecstatic! :D

🛷 Sled: how has your writing process changed this year? Or: are you going to try anything new in your process in 2023?

My writing process hasn't changed all that much, this year, I feel. I did try a bit of "pantsing" (around L19 and onwards for Lacrimosa) and discovered that the pantsing method doesn't really work very well for me. I am definitely more of a "gardener" type writer and it's honestly preferable for me to have a synopsis/outline at the ready so I can build off scenes I've written down the essences of in the synop/outline and then flesh them out/bring them to life.

[potato2chicken]

Day 2 4/15/2024

To be completely honest, I don't have many thoughts on this chapter. Which in a way is good, because my computer is going to die soon. I have to go purchase another one because my cat likes to chew wires... It's delightful.

Anyway.

"The Psychology of Daily Routine"

I think the main reason I didn't have a lot of thoughts on this one was mostly because I had already heard the point or had somehow already come to the same conclusion.

Your habits create your mood, and your mood is a filter through which you experience your life

I thought a lot about the fact that this points out that it affects how you experience your life. Because it does. And it's us that causes it. Because of our own mind. So often, we like to place blame on someone else for ruining our moods. But how many times is it because our brains were weak and couldn't uphold better thoughts? If I'm in a good mood and meet someone in a bad mood, I am less likely to also end up being in a bad mood than if I were to meet them while I was also in a bad mood. My mood would just worsen.

"It's the patter of continually experiencing that thought that compounds its effect and makes it seem valid." This sentence made me think of all of my mood swings and mood plunders during my PCOS flare-ups. So many days just belittling and degrading myself with my own brain. And then believing it because I spent countless hours telling myself so. I need to learn better coping skills and mechanisms to stop that thinking before it gets to the "sobbing uncontrollably at three in the morning because I think absolutely no one loves me and I'm all alone" point.

You must learn to let your conscious decisions dictate your day- not your fears or impulses.

"Learning to craft routine is the equivalent of learning to let your conscious choices about what your day will be about guide you, letting all the other, temporary crap fall to the wayside."

I think this subtly points to the fact of the importance of waking up in the morning and planning your day ahead so you don't get distracted and waste time. Or even doing it the day before. It's so important to plan and organize, even if it's just a mental note done at the end of the night. Something is better than anything. That's something that I definitely need to work on.

Happiness is not how many things you do, but how well you do them.

"We're basically impaled with the fear that we're unhappy because we're not doing 'enough'."

I think I feel this way A LOT because of my brother. He's a journeyman electrician and is currently making like 40-60 dollars an hour. He's always bringing up the truck and trailer that he's looking to buy and going over his plan. And I really do hope that he gets to achieve all his goals. But it makes me terrified that I'm not doing enough. And on one hand, totally true. I could go back to college. I could be getting a better job, or cleaning more. Yes, I know that I have a lot of work to do to get my life in a better shape. But.... Especially after meeting someone like Devon. Him and all his friends made me feel great about basically all of my situations. Expect the abortion. But most every other area of my life? Like I heard stories of the drug heads and alcoholics in Augusta from him. I mean even himself, he was living at his mom's after being homeless during the summer. I do get a lot of fear because I know that I'm not doing enough. In yesterdays note I wrote about how we shouldn't all rush towards death. It's okay to wait and experience and have a different timeline. But this can be also a dangerous way of thinking. Because then you think, what's the point of anything?

But I don't think that is how it should be taken.

I think it should be taken as: Why not try whatever? If you want money, go for it. If you want to travel, then go for it. We only get one life. Stop to think about why you're doing what you're doing? Because yes, money is super helpful and can attribute a lot to our happiness. Buttttt you have to think about the fact that when you die, you leave everything behind. You're not going to be taking that million dollars with you. It's okay. Spend time with your family and the co-workers you like. Make a life worth living.

What's worth living to you?

When you regulate your daily actions, you deactivate your 'flight or fight' instincts because you're no longer confronting the unknown.

I'm going to be honest, I don't quite get this. Maybe I'm too high, but doubtful. Because I don't feel fearful everyday when I wake up and I don't know what I'm doing. Do I subconsciously?

As children, routine gives us a feeling of safety. As adults, it gives us a feeling of purpose.

This immediately made me think of a farm. There is routine every day because there is a purpose every day. We ought to give ourselves little tasks every day that make us feel like we have a reason to get up in the morning and to also feel accomplished once it is done. It doesn't have to be something huge. Like go to college. It could be clean out the litter box. Do the dishes. Or you could have several lists that increase in like terminality. Like day to day checklists and monthly checklists and so on and so forth. What a simple but effective way to habitually change your thinking.

You feel content because routine consistently reaffirms a decision you already made.

"You affirm not only your choice to begin, but your ability to do it."

It's your choice to give yourself the ability to do it!

This one made me think about my long-term learning of Spanish. It's kind of ironic because the other day at work I jokingly told Wilda that she should make a bet with me that I could become fluent in Spanish. She was complaining about not being able to communicate and I knew that if I had $100 on the line then it would motivate me to finally put forth the effort. She didn't take the deal, lol, but I ended up getting Mark to agree. I told him to just agree with me and he said, "Uh, okay." Shook my hand. And then I turned to Curtis and told him not to tell him, lol, to keep it a surprise. So, I put in my calendar; "Might owe Mark $100." I'm not sure if it is actually going to motivate me to learn Spanish more but it was ironic in the timing of this chapter.

I've tried to start learning Spanish probably a half dozen times or more. How fluent would I be right now if I had just stuck with it the first time? The next point, I think, says something about "perpetual procrastination." I am the worst possible procrastinator. Taxes were due today, I live in America, and I submitted them at 10:30 tonight. Why? I've had both of my W-2's since like mid-February. That's ridiculous. My two worst habits that I need to break is being lazy and procrastinating. I need to do better. For the sake of me. For the sake of my cat. For the sake of those around me.

As your body self-regulates, routine becomes the pathway to "flow".

Honestly, this one snippet summarizes it well and I completely agree with.

"The more you train your body to respond to different cues: 7 a.m. is when you wake up, 2 p.m. is when you start writing, and so on, you naturally fall into flow with a lot more ease, just out of habit".

(My computer died. This sucks to type on a phone,smh)

When we don't settle into routine, we teach ourselves "fear" is an indicator that we're doing the wrong thing, rather than just being very invested in the outcome.

Oh my god, how much this is fucking true for me.

"It gives us gaps and spaces in which our subconscious minds can say: "well, you can take a break now," when in fact, you have a deadline. But if you're used to taking a break at that point in time, you'll allow it simply because "you always do"."

I literally wrote in the book, "OOF!".

Because... Ow. That is SO true. I have such a hard time with self-discipline. I need more. I'm not going to be any better if I can't first create self-discipline.

Although I didn't get an absolute whole lot, not as much as I felt I did yesterday, I feel like what I did get punched the fuck out of me.

I want to be better. I want to grow. I want to see my problems and learn how to fix them. I'm 25. I need to start doing better. Could i be doing worse? Absolutely. But I am doing better. And i will keep doing so. One day at a time.

[resmarted]

kind of missed doing readings but do not miss the wicked mother figures who can't handle hearing the truth about how their sons hate their wives and are just appeasing them through holidays before they escape with a clean break. this is most holiday readings but in general old ladies cannot possibly fathom their adult children being able to lie to them or pretend they would rather cut their dicks off than be around their bitch wives anymore. they're always so condescending and are like ha sorry but you're wrong no offense. i remember this one lady doing that and i was like is that your granddaughter that came right before you? her entire reading was about her parents getting a divorce. having an only child seems like the way to go bc they're all so nice and well behaved and they're so naive they never have a clue about the reality of what's actually going on w their parents. siblings are more savvy and can figure shit out together, overhear more and exchange info and gossip etc. only children are very innocent even during late stages of adulthood they're like my parents are my best friends! it's very sweet but also very awkward when they have no drama of their own and i'm the one that ends up telling them about the upcoming changes to their family dynamic which they can't fathom bc hiding shit from your only child is very easy like they all believe in santa at like 19 years old. anyway those experiences i do not miss but i do miss interacting one on one w people and feeling like i genuinely helped them. like i always thought i would hate this work bc i hated hearing my mom's crazy clients my whole life but it ended up being way more fulfilling than i anticipated and when people break down into tears or start gasping in shock by the accuracy over things i say that make no sense to me personally i'm always just like is this anything? does this make any sense at all?? and they're just like sobbing uncontrollably like yes!!! and helping them navigate their painful experiences like those are the really moving parts of the process. i don't miss being mistreated by employers or poor management skills from people who either don't care if the place burns to the ground or just inherited a business that they expect to run itself and can't respect the people helping operate it. nor do i miss the raging jealousy from other readers who either got the job as a farce or spend more time trying to look like they know what they're talking about than it would take to just learn the actual material and how they would shift into lord of the flies mode and target anyone that gets a half a compliment more than them and make this big loud production insisting how powerful they are etc. like the culture of spiritual groups and shops are so wack it is the most insecure people bragging about the most embarrassing things and i guess its like that in any profession but it is especially faggoty bc it's people trying to constantly prove who the most grand wizard of all is. and it's like girl calm down it's not that serious just be a normal person and talk about lrly anything else. i do miss the interaction with the actual people though and the way they would walk out and rave to their friends and the staff about how amazing the experience was. if i wasn't treated like a fucking dog by these people i'd still be there, but i digress. i really don't see myself doing this work forever i keep going back to it as a dayjob but it's not what my passion is or my life goal. talk about inheriting something that you take for granted am i right or am i right homies??

[ladyinredxx]

Cereza

Believe it or not, I do remember you all the time.

My mom also does and she would ask me how you are.

I would just answer her,

“She’s fine.”

I hope…

Because it has been long since the last time we talked.

I remember your feline-like eyes, your giggles, your lovely and wide beams, the times when we used to walk side by side with the other girls, then eat our lunch and share some laughs at a single table.

Talking about life, our own and people’s stupidity, the exams we aced, what would happen the next day, the older lads in the other room born in 1998 because we didn’t like the boys in our class, and more that I can barely remember now.

You were effervescent and had a very bright face, and you had a high-pitched, cheerful voice that you used to greet people you liked.

Your cheeks would grow scarlet, either from laughing too hard or from seeing your crush. So much words I could associate those moments with—like roses, hearts, rubies, and cherries.

Your parents made a wise choice in naming you.

Who would have imagined you growing up to blush so easily at almost anything? 

You’re not you without that. It made you stand out.

I hope you never hated that.

Do you remember when you invited only three classmates to your father’s birthday?

It was the two girls and me.

I forgot the reason why you had to bring only three people.

But I felt special, seen, loved, and you gave me cupcakes.

It’s such a shame. What was I thinking?

Those were the days where I valued most the gold, silver, and bronze, the merit and people’s applause.

I would bask in the adulation of my family and everyone who linked my name with brilliance and victories.

I was a trophy child, a perfectionist, terrified of failing.

Then something died inside of me.

Remember when I became 11th for the first time?

I wished I hadn’t learned I was originally 7th—deservingly, from the calculated class record.

I could’ve accepted it easier.

You knew about my introversion and how I disliked joining activities outside of school. I detested having to make up missed lessons and exams; I’d rather focus being present in classes.

Little did I know that would cost me everything I worked so hard for.

From 7 to 11 was a big gap.

I felt like a big part of me was taken away. I was silently condemning whoever had thought it was a good idea.

I was fighting for it in my head - that the goal was supposed to be on class performance rather than who received the most certs and had more funds for extracurricular travels, that there should’ve been a separate recognition ceremony for that.

But no words came out but uncontrolled cries and a lump in my throat.

Many would contend it wasn't a huge deal.

No, they didn’t understand.

Girls our age at the time get heartbroken over unreciprocated love and breakups, while no boy could break mine but a grade that was insufficient to make it to the cut.

Ultimately not because of neglect but because I knew I did very well—but in return didn’t bring me glory and I was the young girl who felt her first and biggest injustice.

You saw me cry in the room just before we took the stage to wrap out the school year.

It was still too much for my little heart to handle.

We were sitting face to face, both hands covering my face in an effort not to make others hear my sobs.

You didn’t say much, but you were stroking my hair and told me in the most reassuringly gentle voice possible,

“It’s fine. It’s fine.”

We were both teens but you were like a mother comforting her child. You acknowledged my hurt and that my feelings were valid.

If I recall well, you were rubbing my hand to calm me before taking it so we could go together.

You were the only person who was there.

It’s such a shame. What did I do?

The old adage was right.

We are all villains in someone’s story.

I was one in yours.

I threw it all away—for reasons I can no longer tell exactly; ashamed for how ruthless I was.

Your goodness didn’t matter to me.

My words were like swords and the effect was worse than a crimson slash wound in the skin. Like the most evil villain to exist, I aimed your heart.

I was conscious of the words I was saying, yet I found myself stoically looking at you.

Like the look in the face of women throwing old pictures in the fire to completely wipe out their memories of people once dear to them.

But you were in front of me.

The gleam in your eyes had faded and flooded with tears.

You were speaking with me in between sobs, yet I didn’t bother to touch you.

Finally, you asked if you could embrace me for the last time…

and I didn’t allow.

It still haunts me.

It’s my karma.

It’s almost been a decade and I know I’m no longer one of the most relevant people in your life.

But I would go back in time and be kinder to you—even if that means trading everything I was terrified to lose during those days.

I would if that means there were no hurt on your part.

I would if that means keeping our friendship.

But the damage has been done, no?

All I can do now is to write this while hoping life doesn’t get harder on you.

I’m very sorry you had to meet me.

We’re 23 now.

I’m still growing up, but I’m adult enough to know that you deserve the best in the world.

This is what my heart has been wanting to tell you for years.

I know we’re fine now—no more downpours and tremors. 

But wherever fate brings you, I honestly hope and wish there’s always a reason for you to blush.

[minho-hoho]

Yandere!ENHYPEN's reaction to: S/O begging to be killed

Genre: Yandere AU, Angst

Warning: Mentions of: blood, death etc... Violence is depicted etc... Swearing

Requested: Yes

A/N: Requests are still open ~ I'll try to post at least once a day or every 2 days since I need to study, I hope all of you have an awesome day/evening/day!

MASTERLIST

Lee Heeseung ¦ 이 희승

It was after a hard punishment, that you started to really want to die. Your life here with him was miserable, and all you wanted was for either of you to die. And it looked like if one of you had to die, it was more likely to be you. As you were crying uncontrollably, you pleaded Heeseung to just kill you. The pain was too much for you to handle. He looked at you as if you had two heads, before answering you.

“What? No, never. I love you too much for that, can't you see that?” He asked visibly bewildered.

“Outside of punishments, I treat you well enough... Don't I?” He started to question himself, was he too harsh with you? Either way, he'll never kill you, at least not on purpose.

Park Jay ¦ 박 제이

It was during a punishment, you couldn't take it anymore. Your life here was pure hell and misery. Even though, Jay claimed to love you, the way he acted during his punishments told you the contrary.

“Why don't you just kill me” You said between sobs.

“Just kill me already, it'll all be easier..” You trailed off. At first Jay pretended to not even hear you, he was amused by your request.

“Please, I can't do this any more” You pleaded. Jay had enough of your pleading.

“Why would I kill you? I love you, I can't kill the love of my life now, can I? So you should probably shut up, before I get angrier, because you're not leaving me.” He told you. It was enough for you to close your mouth, you knew how sadistic he could be.

Sim Jake ¦ 심 제이크

While he wasn't physically hurting you, your mental health was getting lower and lower every day. You were starting to get suicidal. This life trapped in someone's house was not made for you.

One day, he was just yelling at you for making a dumb mistake. You had enough and you were crying a lot. You could barely speak. And Jake didn't expect you to either.

“I'm so tired... Just please, kill me already...” You took a small pause.

“You already killed other people right? Then for the love of god, kill me. I can't do this any longer” you trailed off before crying harder and louder than before. Jake was more than shocked at your request. Was he that much of a bad boyfriend. His end goal wasn't for you to want to die because of him. He never wanted you to feel this bad. He started to tear up a little.

“No no, of course not baby. I'm so sorry for yelling at you, okay ? You shouldn't have these thoughts okay. I'm here for you. I-I'll be nicer from now on, okay baby? Don't cry, come here” He told you his voice slightly trembling. He wanted the both you to have a perfect life with each other. He wanted dyou to be happy, and it was clear you weren't and he'll do his best to fix that.

Park Sunghoon ¦ 박 성훈

You were seriously tired of being yelled at all the time, of getting punished for small things. Your brain and body couldn't handle it any longer. It seriously looked like he hated your guts instead of loving you like he stated so often. After a while you decided to ask him, why didn't he kill you already? Like he threatened to do so many times now.

“Huh? Wh-what are you even talking about...” He answered you disturbed

“I'll never kill you, okay? You're never leaving me, I-I love you can't you see that?!” He raised his voice. Your head hung low you answered truthfully.

“It doesn't look like it... Just kill me, please. I'm begging you” He was shocked, not only did you want to die because of him, you also thought he hate you. He felt his heart break. He stopped whatever he was doing, went and reflected on himself and on what to do next. He'll make sure to at least show though his actions that he in fact, does love you.

Kim Sunoo ¦ 김 선우

He was deeply concerned about you, he was troubled by what you just asked. He didn't punish frequently, sure, when he did it was one of the most traumatising thing a human could experience, but to him he was just being reasonable.

“Where did you get the idea that I'll ever kill you?” He asked his eyes widened.

“Seeing how you treat me sometimes... If you're going to make me pass out, why not just kill me?” You asked a tear escaping your eye.

“No fucking way. It's because you deserve it! But you can't die. You need to stay with me forever. I can't live without you. Got it?” He asked, still looking troubled.

“Just end me. This is too hard for me.” He frowned.

“Shut up. I am not killing you. Not now, not ever. So you better accept it now.” And he was now gone. You couldn't keep your tears to yourself and sinked on the floor crying. And even though Sunoo was cold to you, he felt bad and was thinking about ways to make you feel better.

Yang Jungwon ¦ 양 정원

He was upset by your request. It was clear his plan wasn't working. You weren't starting to love him back at all, instead you were now suicidal and begging him to kill you. He was very far from his goal. He tried being as understanding as possible with you, and tried to recomfort you.

“I'm sorry I made you feel that way, my love. We're going to make this work. I'll be better to you. We'll both get through this, okay love?” He comforted you, and he was so kind and gentle with you that it could almost make you forget about he did to you. But still, he did his best to make you feel better better without crossing borders, he tried to punish you less and if he had to, he was nicer.

He took you on nice dates and gave you presents often, until you didn't want to die anymore.

Nishimura Riki ¦ 西村 力

It was also during a particularly brutal and ruthless punishment that you took all the courage you had in you to ask him.

“Riki.. Why don't you just kill me if you hate me this much?” He stopped what he was doing to take a look at you. His eyebrows furrowed, before he answered you.

“Stop it. You're not going anywhere. I am not going to kill you. No matter how much you beg me.” He glared down at you.

“So if you don't want to get hurt even more, you better shut your little mouth up before I make you.” He continued his punishment, without any problem. After that, he wondered what he could do to not make you want to die so much. He started to subtly treat you better. He was still cold, but he was nicer in his everyday actions. Which didn't help much, but you somewhat appreciated it, that he still bothered to try and do something.

[fluffshisuga]

A comforting sadness <Obi-Wan Kenobi>

Been reading Padawan. Got to a spot where, while reading, I felt like the author had just described me. Padawan Obi-Wan is just a teenager, figuring out his life. It makes you think about a lot, knowing his feelings. I hated that I cried reading the words, because why. Why is it so, me? Anyway, here's a fic about that.

Summary- Obi-Wan finds himself searching for comfort in you as he tries to figure out his thoughts and feelings, only to find you in the same state.

Warnings- very....sad. Angst is seemingly my specialty. Lightly dedicated to @0-0slashers0-0 who posted a bit ago that they wanted more Padawan Obi, not sure if you want like angst/fluff but its something. Also realizing that my work is getting longer, 1550 words today after uncontrollable sobbing? Get it Kimi, get it.

Obi-Wan paced around his room as his mind raced. It appeared that no matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t understand the Force. He tried the meditation methods that Qui-Gon had taught him, ones that he often used himself when he started a session between the two. He tried to just feel it; feel his mind calm as he breathed and the world around him disappear. Meditation was something that Qui-Gon spent most of his time doing, dragging Obi-Wan along with him. Obi-Wan tried, desperately, to do it right. It had been much easier before, when he was only a youngling. Back then, he had no fear for the future and only one clear goal. Now, it seemed as if his goal became fuzzy, full of doubt and uncertainty. He had watched his fellow younglings meet their masters, and bond with them in such short time. Even you, who seemed to dislike most of the masters that walked by in the hall. Obi-Wan thought back to one night, when he was just a youngling a few years prior. He couldn’t sleep and had found himself wandering the hall with no destination in mind. But, as if by the Force, you had opened your door, and beckoned him in.

    He felt himself being pulled the same way towards your quarters and he snapped back to the present, already walking towards you. He always found comfort in you, the way you talked always made him feel better about things that troubled him. Perhaps that was why he was at your door, just moments from knocking when you slid it opened.

     Your eyes widened when you locked eyes with Obi-Wan. You hadn’t expected him to be outside your door at this hour. You hadn’t expected anyone, which was why you were leaving your quarters silently. “Hey there,” you breathed, looking around the hall. Obi-Wan nodded quickly, stuttering out a greeting. He felt confused. Why was he at your door, and why were you trying to leave you room at this hour, at the same time he was outside? “I was…actually going to see if you were awake, strangely.” You squinted, a surprised yet questioning tone in your voice. “As was I, really.”

     You moved to the side, inviting him in. He hurriedly walked in and began pacing your room. You watched intently, curious as to why he was here. “Were you unable to sleep, again?” You asked, taking a seat on the edge of your bed. Obi-Wan’s thoughts wondered slightly, wondering if he would be able to open up to you on the matter. Your eyes were welcoming, if not a bit red. It looked as if you had been crying. Obi-Wan began to think that perhaps, maybe, your thoughts were getting to you as well. The two of you had always been close, closer than the rest of the Padawans. When they went out on missions with their masters, you always found time to still be with Obi-Wan, whose master kept him in the temple, meditating and performing the basic training time and time again.

     He moved to sit on the other side of your bed, fumbling with his hands. He found the silence comforting, soothing even. It felt as if he didn’t need to say anything to feel heard by you. You moved around and sat behind him, resting your head on his shoulder. “What’s on your mind?” Your words seemingly coaxed him to speak. “I fell…conflict. What if I’m not on the right path? We’ve been taught about the force and stuff our whole lives. I’ve studied it, learned it and memorized it. But it feels…out of reach?” You nodded into his shoulder. “Like you’re not connected. Like a feeling you can’t figure out.” It was Obi-Wan’s turn to nod. You understood him. “It feels bad. Watching our friends be so connected to it, like second nature. Feels unfair, which in turn makes you feel like a bad person, wanting them to at least know that you don’t feel the connection like they do.” Obi-Wan felt his chest swell. You had the same problems. Unable to trust your own feelings and what you felt was the Force. You were both there for a reason, to become Jedi and help those who couldn’t help themselves, yet unable to find the key to achieving that. The Force was what made Jedi, well, Jedi. If you couldn’t trust it, follow where it led you, then could you ever really help others?

     The silence between the two of you felt comforting still, maybe a hint of sadness. Obi-Wan learned the reason behind finding you at your door, ready to leave, red eyed and surprised. He could feel his own tears well up in his eyes, only falling when he felt your own soak into his shirt. For once, he didn’t feel alone knowing that he couldn’t feel the Force the way he was supposed to. He felt accepted in a way, sad that you were feeling the same way, yet happy that he had someone who understood his own feelings. You were able to put into words something that he could only feel yet not explain. He shuffled in place, slowly turning to face you. Your silent tears and sorrowful face made his heart hurt, not knowing that his own teary eyes and sad frown made you feel the same way.

      He shuffled you towards the head of the bed, where he could lean his back against the wall comfortably as he held you in his arms. He didn’t care that his shirt was now wet with tears, and even lightly chuckled as you sniffed heavily as to not get snot on him. “Do you think our masters ever felt this way? Sad and afraid that they wouldn’t achieve their Jedi status?” You asked softly, lightly burrowing your face into the crook of his neck. Surely, they did, early on as Padawans, such as Obi-Wan and you were. Obi-Wan had a hard time seeing Qui-Gon curled up on his bed, silently crying as his mind filled with doubts. It seemed unnatural, yet not unlikely. “Maybe.”

    He heard you chuckle lightly yet felt the frown on your lips grow. “I feel awful.” He understood, of course, and rubbed circles on your back as you continued. “I hate that I wished I wasn’t alone. That someone else felt this pain and fear. Doubt. But I wouldn’t want the others to feel like this. They’re our friends, yet I wished they felt just as bad as I did.” Obi-Wan felt more tears fall from your eyes, your hands balling into fists with parts of his shirt between them. “I wish you didn’t feel this way either, Obi-Wan. I wished to not be alone and I find you the same way. You deserve more than this, deserve to feel the Force just as strongly as Master Yoda, even stronger really. I feel bad about that, mostly.” You shook as you cried harder, hating that you weren’t alone with these feelings. Obi-Wan hated it as well; the guilt that you had thinking that only you should have this pain. “I could say the same, for you. I didn’t want to be alone with these thoughts, but it felt wrong.” He sympathized. He felt his body shake lightly as he cried into you. “Its sickening.” You whisper.

     Obi-Wan held you as you both cried. He never expected it to go this way. What had he expected, really? That you would bestow wisdom onto him? You were only a Padawan, same as him. Perhaps, he thought, you would have let him sit in your room in silence as you meditated, much like Qui-Gon might have. Yet you didn’t, you had felt his feelings and reciprocated them, helping him understand what he felt. You helped him know that he wasn’t alone, no matter what his mind told him. This interaction, this meeting in the late hours of the night, felt natural. Obi-Wan thought that maybe, just maybe, the Force had something to do with it. Perhaps it wanted him to work through it with someone, two birds with one stone if he thought about it.

    He heard a small sniffle come from you as you shifted in his grasp. Your eyes were red, puffy and teary. Obi-Wan could see the stains that covered your cheeks and how red your nose was. He was sure he looked the same way and chuckled at the thought. You giggled with him and smiled softly. “I think we needed this; don’t you think?” You said, steadying your breathing as you calmed yourself. Obi-Wan nodded in response, resting his head on top of your own. He slowly slid himself down from the wall, laying in your bed as fatigue crept up to him. You had felt it as well, trying to stifle a yawn. You adjusted yourself so that both of you were comfortable as you laid there, snuggling into Obi-Wan’s shirt. “We’ll just have to get through this, together.” You whispered as your eyes grew heavy. As you drifted into a teary sleep, you heard Obi-Wan’s voice faintly. “Yes. Together.”

[folklorelise]

Captain’s girlfriend taking care of the kids

PART 1: here

 - Eren when his experiments fail

When you found out that Eren was a titan, you and Hange would talk about non-stop which would drive Levi crazy.

”Erwin agreed to my experiments!” Hange informed you one morning, really excited.

”Can I come please?”

”Levi’s the boss, gotta ask him.”

”He’ll say yes!” you cheered.

Hange brought you to the old survey corps headquarters which was where the experiments would take place. It was also where Levi’s squad where.

”Leviii!” you yelled happily.

”No.” Levi stated once you were beside him.

”What do you mean ‘no’?”

”I meant no you’re not supposed to be here. How did you even know about Eren?”

”Hange told me because I am their best friend! Please let me stay.” you begged him. To your luck, Levi loved you, so he agreed to it. ”But you stay behind me, I don’t want that titan touching you.”

You greeted Eren just before he went into the pit.

”Eren, you got this!”

”Thank you Y/N.” Eren answered nervously. ”You are going to be there?”

”Yes, I’ll there the whole time so don’t worry about it.”

But during the experiment Eren just couldn’t transform, no matter how hard he tried to bit his hand over and over again.

”We should stop, he’s obviously hurt.” you protested.

”It’s Hange call.” Levi explained while taking you far from Eren in case he would transform.

”Y/N! Come back please, Eren’s hands aren’t healing either.” Hange screamed.

You ran to Eren and started to put alcohol on his hand and bandage everything.

”Are you feeling alright Eren?” you asked.

”Why can’t I transform?”

But before you could say anything, Hange took Eren. Levi walked to you and took your hand in his.

”Don’t worry about him. He’s going to be fine, he’s a titan.”

”Yeah...”

That night, you brought Eren his food.

”I’m not really hungry.” Eren assured.

”You have to eat, you didn’t eat anything at lunch too so you have to now.” you said putting his tray on his bed. ”Don’t force me to feed you like I did with Jean.”

”Fine.” he laughed.

”It’s alright if you didn’t transform today.”

”I disappointed everyone! Squad leader Hange had so much faith in me and I did nothing.”

”Eren, honestly, it’s fine because you don’t know how this works. Trust me, you’re doing great.” you smiled.

”Y/N...”

”Yes?”

”I heard something earlier. Something about the Captain.”

”Oh? What about the Captain?”

”Hange said that the Captain and you are... you know.” Eren ranted.

Except for the squad leaders and the commander, no one knew Levi was in a relationship with you. You did not hide it but wouldn’t scream it on top of every roof either.

”No actually, I don’t.” you hesitated.

”Captain Levi and you are... intimate with each other.” Eren whispered the last part.

”Yeager!” Levi yelled from outside the cell startling both Eren and you.

”Captain Levi!” Eren saluted him, spilling his soup on his bed.

”Clean that mess. Y/N, Hange is asking for you.” Levi waited for you to leave before talking to Eren, ”I didn’t know you were into gossip.”

”I’m not sir, Captain, sir. I apologise!”

Levi did not say another word and left Eren alone so he could find you.

”Hange didn’t need me.” you said once Levi entered his bedroom. ”What did you say to Eren?”

”Nothing.”

”Riight. Anyway, let’s sleep because there’s nothing else we can do.”

”I can think of one thing we can do.” Levi whispered next to your ear.

 —————

 - Armin after he killed a guy to save Jean

You were fighting alongside with Levi against Kenny and his soldiers.

”I can take care of this Y/N, go back to the kids.” Levi ordered.

”I’m helping!”

When you went back to the cadets, you spotted Jean corned by one of Kenny’s pawn. You were ready to shoot the person, but a gun was fired before you could. You thought for a second that Jean was shot dead, but that unknown person collapsed right in front of Jean. You moved to where he was and found Armin with his gun still pointing toward the dead body.

”Oh...” you mumbled, ”Armin, are you okay honey?” you knelt down to him.

”I... I killed someone.” he voiced absently.

At night, you were preparing the bedrooms in the abandoned house before joining the rest of the squad outside.

”... you save Jean.” Levi said.

You looked at him asking him what they were talking about and he nodded toward Armin.

”We should all go to sleep, it has been a long day.” you suggested.

Before walking away, you made sure Jean was doing great and then you went to see Armin. He was sitting in the corridor, holding his gun as if his life depended on it. You sat down next to him and he automatically rested his head on your shoulder.

”You did great today. You saved your friend’s life.” you tried to cheer him up.

”Levi said the same thing.”

”Levi’s never wrong.”

”I...” Armin started after a long pause, ”I constantly feel like I’m going to puke and I can’t sleep because every time I close my eyes, I see myself pulling the trigger.” he finished sobbing. You circled your arms around him and told him it was going to be fine.

”Do you want me to stay so you could sleep?”

”I- you have to sleep with the Captain though...”

”You can come in our bedroom then, I think there a couch there.” you cheered softly.

”Captain Levi wouldn’t agree.” Armin guessed.

”Don’t worry I’m sure he’ll say yes.”

—————

”What? No!” Levi shouted.

”Oh my! Not that loud! Armin is just outside!” you shouted back just as loud, ”but please say yes.”

”Is he supposed to sleep between us or something?”

”I was thinking about... hm, how do I put this delicately?” you asked yourself, ”I was thinking you should sleep on the couch because it might be uncomfortable for him to sleep with you.” you said cautiously.

Levi stared at you without smiling, saying ‘are you serious?��. Armin at this moment came in the bedroom worried.

”I don’t to be the cause of a fight, I can sleep with the others, it’s fine!” Armin inquired.

”Fine.” Levi sighed, ”but I’m not sleeping on that that thing.” he showed the old couch.

”The bed’s big, it’s fine!”

You were in the middle while Armin was on your left and Levi on your right. Armin fell asleep rather quickly while you and Levi were still awake.

”So that’s how my life’s going to look like? You and these kids?” Levi stated.

”They won’t be needing me anymore in a few years, so then it’s going to be just you and I. How does that sound?”

”Great. Sounds great to me.” he answered while spooning you. ”Are you really spooning Armin?” Levi asked you.

”Yeah, it’s more comfortable for the three of us, believe me.”

 —————

 - The night after Armin was captured as Historia (after that weirdo who said weird things and touched my boi)

When you found Jean and Armin, you kicked that old pervert in the balls and threw in far away from Armin. That same night, you found him crying silently outside of your tent. You and Levi sat down beside him.

”You did great.” Levi told him.

”I’m sorry you had to go through that.” you said.

”I think he’s asleep,” Levi started, ”That boy falls asleep so quickly when you’re here, it’s insane”

”Should we just sleep here?”

Levi ended up carrying Armin to his tent and you and Levi stayed with him, because neither of you could sleep anyway. Through the middle of the night, Jean opened Armin’s tent slightly and you came out.

”What’s wrong?” you asked worried.

”I just wanted to make sure Armin was alright.”

”He’s asleep which is great. You can’t sleep either?” you saw that Jean just looked away blushing, ”come, there’s enough place for a giant like you.” you joked.

When you came back Armin was awake.

”Why aren’t you sleeping?” you asked to which he responded with a shrug. ”Let’s all go back to sleep, and that includes you too Levi.”

Levi was right when he said that his life would the kids as long as you were there.

 —————

 - After the serum had to be given to Armin

Hange was screaming that Erwin had to have the serum. Mikasa and Eren were screaming that Armin should have it instead. While they were screaming, you were silently crying over Erwin’s almost dead body. Levi looked at you and for a second he thought about given Erwin the serum, but in the end, he gave it to Armin. When Levi made his move, you broke down crying, you were a mess.

You knew Levi had a special bond with Erwin and giving the serum to someone else was a hard choice. On top of that, Erwin was one of your closest friends. Which meant that you knew about his goal of discovering the secret about titans. And knowing how close he was to fulfil his dream broke your heart. Hange was beside you, on their knees beside Erwin. Very soon after, Levi joined the two of you.

”Y/N,” Levi started, ”I-”

”W-we have... we have to bury hi-his body.” you said sobbing uncontrollably, ”we can’t... we can’t just let him here.”

”Y/N, we still have to go to the basement.” Hange explained while you refused to let go of Erwin.

”I can stay here, I can wait for you to come back.” you chocked on your words.

That night, you hardly had any sleep. Levi holds you in his arms the whole night. By the morning, you had stopped crying, there were no tears left to cry.

”Do you want to go and eat?” Levi asked you.

”Not hungry.”

”I’m still going to grab some bread for us.”

The day passed too slowly for you, you stayed in the infirmary the whole day, but no one needed help - almost every member of the survey corps were dead anyway. But someone still knock on your door late in the afternoon. Before you could answer, the door opened on Armin. None of you talked - you could only assume that Eren and Mikasa filled him in about what happen.

”I can’t replace Commander Erwin.” Armin whispered. ”Please don’t hate me.” he faltered.

”What? I could never hate any of you! How — why would even think that?” you yelled.

”Erw��”

”Erwin’s dead yes, I know! But— all that matters is that you are here, and I’m glad you are.” you calmed down. ”I’m glad you’re still alive.”

Armin came running toward you and hugged you so tight that you could hardly breath.

”I thought you’d hate me.” Armin confessed.

”I would never because I love you.”

  - Reunion with Reiner

When you heard Gabi saying that Reiner had passed out, you follow her without saying anything. She showed you the house where Reiner was, and you opened the door slowly. He was on the ground, wrapped up in an old and thin blanket.

”Reiner?” you asked softly next to his ear, ”wake up and tell me if you’re hurt somewhere, Gabi told me you couldn’t heal properly.”

He groaned and opened his eyes. The last time you saw him was during the Shiganshina attack he planned with Bertolt and Zeke.

”I-”

”Reiner, are you alright?” Gabi asked worried.

”I just need to rest.” Reiner answer looking away from your stare.

You sat down and put Reiner’s head on your lap so he would be more comfortable.

”Sleep a bit before the others come, then we’ll move again.” you told him.

”I’m sorry.” Reiner whispered. He turned his head toward your stomach and curled up on himself. He was so afraid that you reject him after what he did, but he was one of your kids — you could never throw them away when they needed you.

—————

  RANDOM HCs

- Sasha would always ask you for your food because she knew you could never refuse.

- You always helped Connie take care of his mother after she was turned into a titan.

- One of your ritual with Armin would be reading together at night, before sleep. After hearing your stories from when he was sick during the training days, he never got tired of hearing them.

- Mikasa teaching you combat skills because she does not want you to die during expeditions.

- Once during training years, you tried to separate Jean and Eren and received a punch from Eren. They apologised a lot and you said it was fine, but Levi was so mad he almost went there himself to kick their butts.

- Reiner, Bertolt and Annie feeling bad because you were always so nice toward them. Plus, when you saw Annie again, you just hugged her and told her you were glad she was back.

  —————

MASTERLIST

NEXT POST IS GOING TO BE: that one time the kids called you ”mom” and that one time Jean called Captain Levi ”dad” —> really excited to write this one :D

Also, yes it was a lot of Armin but when I made my rough drafts of ideas, it was a lot of Armin. Also (x2) shorter than expected but yeah, wanted to get this out of my system before writting something else, hope you guys liked it though :) also (x3) it did looked better in my mind

[gabzs-things]

hi fellow villian, saw that you are taking requests... please could you do a ben one where there is a misunderstanding with your boy best friend and you and ben thinks you are cheating ? just angsty with loads of fluffy fluff at the end? ty also have you got a prediction for the man u game v villa ?

Hello claret and blue xx ty for being my first requester , I am not planning on writing loads but who knows I might do. I'm not that great and have never written for this fandom yet so fingers crossed you like it claretian xx p.s this has probably been done before undoubtedly. also it's kind of short and probs doesn't make sense... oh well !

title: All Just A Missunderstanding

quote: "I'm so sorry"

song: "Can't pretend - Tom Odell"

warnings: panic attacks, accusations, yelling , references to sex and I think that's it let me know if I need to add , happy reading.

a/n ; well as I blogged about that is my third live football match upcoming (man u vs villa) however there are 2 in the same week 1 for the fa cup (I think) and the other for the prem (the one I am going to) hope fully it is Aston Villa 2-1 Man United !!

You sat sprawled on the sofa in yours and Ben's living room watching his game on the TV, cradling your 12 week old baby boy James Wayne Chilwell. (After his middle name not madders) Wayne being his fathers name. Ben had just scored the winning goal in the 93rd minute, so you had it set in your mind that when he returned home later he would be in a very good mood. You could not be more wrong. Learning that Ben was on his way home through a very blunt text message you went to place James upstairs in his nursery to sleep as you thought that when ben got home he would want to spend time with you. You placed James into his crib, checked that the baby monitor was working and left the room. Walking down the stairs , you heard the familiar noise of Ben struggling to get into your house despite moving into it with you 4 years ago. He eventually entered, taking off his trainers and coat and putting them in their respective places.

"I'm so proud of you, my love, great goal." you chirped up , breaking the silence.

"Yep." he replied. Brushing off your comment and moving into the kitchen and helping himself to a smoothie out of the fridge.

"Do you want to watch a film, oh wait no, even better I have Game Of Thrones lined up? James is in bed , we can have a quiet night in ?" you spoke hopefully.

"WILL YOU JUST STOP PRETENDING YOU LOVE ME !" He yelled in your face. Ben had never yelled at you like this before , never mind denying how much you love him. It actually scared you , you have never seen him this angry. Your feet shuffled backwards as you backed down.

"I'm sorry, I do really love you !" "What would make you say that ?" You replied , trying to find the source of his sudden out burst. He paused for a few moments realizing he had startled you, feeling bad for yelling but he was still seeing red and green.

"Well maybe if you weren't shagging my best friend I wouldn't think it !" You felt your throat closing up, you couldn't breathe, dropping to your knees ,heaving with uncontrollable sobs. "What are you going on about?" You asked feeling weak and betrayed. He immediately runs over to you recognising the panic attack signs like the back of his hand, scooping you up in his arms trying to calm you down and make you more relaxed. You swat him away , darting for your sons bedroom. Ben himself started crying , now realizing how irrational and accusatorial he was being from something he read in the media !

He trudged up the stairs with a guilt written face, knowing where to find you. He peeped his head around the door , you not realising his presence, you cradling your baby boy in his slumber state, perched upon a beanbag. He came so sit behind you and support your body. Ignoring at first you pretended not to notice moving your focus back to James. Wrapping his arms around you he kissed your temple, hushing your quiet cries.

"I'm so so sorry." "I shouldn't have assumed." "Please, hun, please forgive me ?" "Ugh I'm such an idio-" you cut of his pleading apologies with a long kiss.

"It's ok Ben, this is a learning curve, I'm sure you were more angry at (his best friends name) more than me and the fact that you were upset shows that you care and love me right ?"

"you hit the nail on the head darlin' "

you spent the rest of the night admiring your son , cuddling up to Game Of Thrones and when you dozed off on him , sweet nothings rang out through your ears as he carried you up to bed. And when James woke up? He was the first one out of bed to comfort him , letting you sleep a priceless gift as an apology.

A/N; this is more of a prompt ngl anyways enjoy, anon!

inspiration creds : @blueathens @whitemxnswhore @toomuchchelsea

[milf-harrington]

HI TELL ME ABOUT YOUR OC'S MACNCHEESE ILY

*excited bouncing*

okay their names are Seftan and David, they're married, they met in their late 20's and they are disgustingly in love in that real domestic "i cant imagine going grocery shopping with anyone else" kinda way

Seftan and his little brother were born into a rich family, but Seftan was pretty much always the family disappointment bc he could never live up to his parents expectations of him and it only got worse when his brother was born, bc he was exactly the kind of child their parents wanted. Seftan's parents wanted kids who were seen and not heard, who were obedient and smart and could take over the family business.

Seftan was...not that. He was weird and twitchy, and talked about things that he couldntve known about, referenced events and conversations that hadnt happened, sometimes he would just space out for a minute or start sobbing uncontrollably. He struggled in school and was always weirdly certain about things and his parents just didnt know what to do with him (not that they cared enough to do anything, the main reason they kept him around was for appearances). He grew up knowing he wasnt what his parents wanted, so he never tried to be: he focused on the arts instead of "practical" subjects, he wore the clothes he wanted, listened to the music he wanted, he lied about after school studying to join the drama club as one of the costume designers/makers.

And when he was 18, he packed up everything and left, was the costume designer for a ren fair for a bit before he started doing tarot readings on the side and then eventually got given his own little space to do them. He opened his own little magic store when he was about 25 and its the very same shop he own in arson <3 OH HES ALSO CLAIRVOYANT i forgot to mention that, but basically thats why he was such a weird kid

David, on the other hand, grew up in a big family. He has a sister and about a dozen cousins that he's close with, and hes not supernaturally inclined in any way. He's a fucking terrible cook, has never managed to make anything edible beyond like. A sandwich. And its always been a huge joke in his family bc everyone else can cook just fine, hes just fucking cursed or some shit. He's a real steady, down to earth kinda guy, he's level headed and calm in crisis and hes also just got these major Dad Vibes, like he's fully the parent friend in any situation so when they adopted Nancy, Seftan would be like "how the fuck do teenagers work" and David's like "well, for one, you could show her how the shower works" He was one of those real smart but still athletic kids in high school, so his childhood room is like. full of framed certificates for excellency in his subjects but also rugby trophies and he didnt have a lot of real friends in high school bc he was quiet but by the time he was in year 12 he had a bunch of lowerclassmen who followed him around like ducklings.

Its funny bc his older sister is the family member that made all the teachers go "oh god not another one" but David was the one that made the teachers go "Ah! Another one!" so whenever their younger cousins got to high school it was like a toss-up between if theyd be a problem child or a quiet delight. As an adult he works a fly-in-fly-out job at the mines, with a 2 week on 2 week off roster and he and Seftan have this whole cute bedtime routine that they do together where they video call and Seftan goes through his skincare routine and tells him about all the readings he had to bullshit bc "negative readings dont get customers, hun, they only want to know if there's money in their future" while David either gets ready for work or gets ready for bed depending on whether hes got night shift or not.

And together theyre just. such a relationship goal for me, like theyre in their late 40's/early 50's and Seftan is always convinced they dont need the shopping list bc "How hard is it to remember that we need dish soap?" but David brings it anyway bc Seftan always forgets the fucking dish soap, and David is a shocking cook but Seftan eats every single thing he makes, and they do the dishes together and get sidetracked by the music and wind up dancing, soapy hands leaving wet patches on each others shirts and the dish water going cold before they remember what they were doing. They curl up on the couch and watch soap operas bc David loves the drama even if Seftan claims to find them boring but always ends up really into them, and when Nancy graduated they were the ones being ridiculously loud- all whistling and "THATS OUR GIRL" and giving her a hand-made glittery 'just graduated' sash for her to wear out to dinner.

actually, the songs 'Marbles' and 'Fair' by the amazing devil are such macncheese songs so i recommend giving them a listen :DD