track 001. right where you left me
─── ❝ break-ups happen every day, you don't have to lose it ❞ ───
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liked by louis_graham, isabellaperez, babs.rodriguez and others
dulceperez it's hell week and i'm struggling to cope
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isabellaperez never have i ever been more grateful for online school
↳ dulceperez we get it you travel for funsies and i get stuck with crippling student dept.
↳ isabellaperez what fucking debt? tio checo said he'd pay for your schooling!
↳ dulceperez alright then, i get the crippling student anxiety.
maejones you got this baby!
↳ dulceperez i really don’t! tell max to send the red bull i’m going to need it, i know you two are still besties!!
↳ maxverstappen1 did checo cut you off again?
↳ dulceperez YES!! SEND HELP!! SOS!!
louis_graham still can’t get over the fact that you know f1 drivers.
↳ dulceperez my uncle is an f1 driver?
↳ babs.rodriguez forget it lou, she won’t understand. she probably grew up around michael schumacher or something.
↳ isabellaperez well, you’re not wrong
mickschumacher if you die can i keep your couch?
↳ dulceperez what the fuck schumacher?
↳ mickschumacher it’s a very comfortable couch.
↳ freyavettel he’s right, it’s very comfortable. i’ve had some great fucking naps on it.
louis graham so the f1 drivers in your comments are just normal?
dulce perez pretty much, yeah
dulce perez we live in monaco, you're telling me you've never ran into like lewis or charles? hell nico lives in monaco.
barbara rodriguez never.
louis graham nope.
dulce perez huh, it's not like monaco's that big. i run into my ex all the time. granted he's like best friends with my sister.
barbara rodriguez who the fuck is your ex? and why is your sister best friends with him?
dulce perez because she can be? i'm not going to tell her "oh no isa, you can't be friends with arthur because we broke up."
dulce perez they were friends way before we dated.
louis graham so his name is arthur? interesting, one look at your sister's instagram tells me that you dated the one and only arthur leclerc.
barbara rodriguez a leclerc? you dated a leclerc? and you let him get away?
dulce perez look, he was busy with racing and i was busy with school. it wasn't going to work out between us so we just broke up.
louis graham interesting how you two still follow each other.
dulce perez we're still friends. that wasn't going to change because we dated.
barbara rodriguez 9 times out of 10, people fall in love all over again.
dulce perez not me. i won't.
dulceperez posted new stories
low quality picture, high quality girl or some fucking corny shit like that.
who the fuck gave this guy alcohol?
arthur leclerc does she have a boyfriend? who is he?
mae jones what is this nerd going on about?
isabella perez is this about my sister?
arthur leclerc forget i asked.
isabella perez so it is about my sister.
mick schumacher is this about the guy on her story?
isabella perez that's just louis. one of her roomates. remember arthur? they became friends when she started school.
arthur leclerc oh. yes. i remember.
freya vettel oh he's totally still in love with her.
lando norris honestly arthur just tell her. get it over with.
bailey winters i doubt you should be giving people advice.
lando norris oh seriously! we get it, i fucked up!
isabella perez oh you royally fucked up norris.
lando norris oh be quiet isabella, how many times have you broken up with austin by now?
isabella perez my relationship has nothing to do with this! focus on arthur and my sister!
mick schumacher i can't believe i'm saying this, but how are freya and i the only ones that are mentally healthy??
isabella perez because arthur is stupid. mae is in denial about her feelings. i'm codependent. lando is a dumbass. bailey is collateral damage to lando's dumbassery. AND YOU'RE IN FUCKING DENIAL!! SO IS FREYA!!
freya vettel wow. can't wait for the day all of you are mentally healthy and in healthy relationships.
mae jones at this rate isabella's doomed to divorcing and remarrying austin like 7 times.
isabella perez literally fuck you. stop writing songs about max!
bailey winters you're all insane.
arthur leclerc you are too bailey.
mae jones don't worry arthur. i know how to figure out if you'll be seeing her soon
arthur leclerc oh no. that's not good.
mae jones odds of seeing dulce at the monaco gp this year?
dulce perez that depends am i allowed to take my emotional support idiots?
isabella perez i thought i was your emotional support idiot?
max verstappen ooh she's been replaced.
esteban ocon i think we're better off asking what are the odds charles finishes the race.
charles leclerc this is why you've never won a race bitch.
daniel ricciardo who the fuck are her emotional support idiots?
dulce perez my roomates
lando norris BOOO!! WE'RE YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT IDIOTS!!
lewis hamilton you may be an idiot but i am not.
mae jones we're her emotional support chaos gremlins
natalia ruiz that makes more sense.
max verstappen you should ask checo if you can bring your friends, not us.
dulce perez i did. he said yes. see all of you back in monaco.
dulce perez i just have to ask them.
dulce perez thoughts on attending the monaco grand prix?
barbara rodriguez on my bucket list but currently too broke.
louis graham also on my bucket list but without means of going.
dulce perez i feel like we're forgetting that my uncle is literally an f1 driver??
louis graham SHUT THE FUCK UP!! TELL ME YOU DIDN'T?!!
barbara rodriguez NO FUCKING WAY!! I KNEW GOING TO SCHOOL IN MONACO WOULD PAY OFF!!
dulce perez wow. way to use me.
louis graham listen, we love you. you're great. but attending the monaco grand prix is such a dream.
barbara rodriguez I GET TO MEET SIR LEWIS HAMILTON!! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME!!
dulce perez we're going to support red bull not mercedes.
barbara rodriguez yeah but red bull doesn't have lewis hamilton does it?
louis graham personally, i will be supporting aston martin. wherever sebastian vettel is that is where i am.
dulce perez traitors both of you.
barbara rodriguez ARTHUR IS LITERALLY A FERRARI ACADEMY DRIVER! SHUT UP! YOU'RE THE BIGGEST TRAITOR OF ALL!!
dulce perez WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU THAT?
louis graham we went stalker mode. we had to find out everything about leclerc.
barbara rodriguez he's a cutie. why the hell did you dump him?
dulce perez we are not talking about this.
louis graham BOOO!! AS THE CHILDREN SAY, SPILL THE TEA SIS!!
dulce perez no!
babs.rodriguez, louis_graham, dulceperez posted new stories
who let me be here?? where is lewis hamilton??
holy shit!!
VAMOS TIO CHECO!!
pierre gasly soo...dulce
dulce perez before you ask no.
pierre gasly like not even a little bit?
rowan todd why must you ask this, you idiot?
pierre gasly i'm an instigator
dulce perez the answer is no because he has a girlfriend, you moron.
charles leclerc but if he didn't have a girlfriend?
dulce perez you too?
charles leclerc ANSWER THE QUESTION PEREZ!
dulce perez no. not my type.
isabella perez ARTHUR! WHO WAS THE CUTE GUY ON THE PODIUM?! THE PREMA GUY!!
max verstappen SHE'S GOT A CRUSH!
arthur leclerc oscar?
isabella perez brb gonna go stalk his instagram.
freya vettel anyone is better than a*stin
arthur leclerc trust me when i say he's 100 times better than that guy.
mae jones WAIT! WHO'S YOUR TYPE DULCE??!
natalia ruiz perhaps monégasque? rhymes with shmarthur?
dulce perez you people are insufferable.
daniel ricciardo THAT WASN'T A NO!
mick schumacher arthur just probably let out the biggest sigh of his life.
arthur leclerc at least i'm not in denial about my feelings.
mick schumacher HEY! WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ME! AND YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH LECLERC!!
sebastian vettel i should consider retirement. that would mean i wouldn't have to deal with this.
fernando alonso i retired and they didn't let me leave. there is no hope for us.
lewis hamilton i told you that your biggest mistake would be showing weakness to max.
max verstappen YOU'RE THE ONE WHO COMFORTED ME FIRST! NOT SEB!
lewis hamilton oh sure, i was just supposed to leave a kid out, crying in the rain because his girlfriend had just broken up with him?
mae jones sorry, what?
daphne jones idiots, all of you
esteban ocon how's that hidden relationship going for you daphne?
daniel ricciardo it's not our fault they haven't figured it out yet, now is it?
lewis hamilton and i'm currently in the lead to win this bet so zip it ocon.
isabella perez GUYS! CUTE PREMA GUY IS SINGLE!!
lance stroll at least one thing is still normal around here.
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¡leclerc-s speaks!
and thus it begins! okay, listen, i love ross, for story purposes he younger than he actually is. idc what anyone says. i don't if i like this 100% but i'm still posting it.
¡disclaimer!
this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
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50 SHADES OF FUCKED UP | CH.4
TRIGGER WARNINGS!: TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, reader is kind of a bimbo, heavily detailed smut, basically porn, loss of virginity, harsh language, anger issues, stalking, obsession, jealousy, controlling behaviour, DOM-SUB themes, BDSM Expand considered to be portrayed with incorrect/poor etiquette, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse/assault, statutory rape.
EXTRAS: Vomiting, alcohol !
Tell me if I missed anything...( As you can see most of the warnings will appear in future chapters. )
I apologize for any grammar mistakes...
Y/L/N: Your Last Name
Y/N/N: Your Nickname
Y/M/N: Your Middle Name
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*𝙔𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝙋𝙊𝙑*
┅┅
𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊, 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 concrete of the garage with its bleak fluorescent light, I speed towards Bella's car getting inside as if someone was chasing me.
What was I thinking? Unbidden and unwelcome incoming tears make my eyes water.
Why am I crying? I sink to the ground, angry at myself for this senseless reaction. I hide my face in my hands and wipe a stray tear off my cheek.
That is so embarrassing. I embarrassed myself out there thinking that we were going to kiss. I'm so stupid, being sad of something I never had. How ridiculous. Something that never was – my dashed hopes, dashed dreams, and my soured expectations.
I have never been on the receiving end of rejection. Okay… so I was always one of the last to be picked for basketball or volleyball – but I understood that – running and doing
something else at the same time like bouncing or throwing a ball is not my thing. I am a serious liability in any sporting field.
Romantically, though, I’ve never put myself out there, ever. A lifetime of insecurity – I’m too pale, too skinny, too scruffy, uncoordinated, my long list of faults goes on. So I have always been the one to rebuff any would be admirers. There was that guy in my chemistry class who liked me, but no one has ever sparked my interest – no one except Christian damn Grey.
Maybe I should be kinder to the likes of Paul Clayton and José Rodriguez, though I’m sure neither of them have been found like me inside their car in a dark parking lot.
I should go home, do my studying. Forget about him and stop all this self-pitying, crap!!!
I take a deep, steadying breath and start the engine. I will not think of him again. I can just chalk this
incident up to experience and concentrate on my exams.
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Bella is sitting at the dining table at her laptop when I arrive. Her welcoming smile fades when she sees me.
“Y/N/N what’s wrong?”
Oh no… not the Isabella Clark Inquisition. I shake my head at her in a back-off now Bella way – but I might as well be dealing with a blind, deaf mute.
“You’ve been crying,” she has an exceptional gift for stating the damned obvious sometimes. “What did that bastard do to you?” she growls, and her face – jeez, she’s scary.
“Nothing Bella.” That’s actually the problem. The thought brings a wry smile to my face.
“Then why have you been crying? You never cry,” she says, her voice softening. She stands, her green eyes brimming with concern. She puts her arms around me and hugs me.
I need to say something just to get her to back off.
“I was nearly knocked over by a cyclist.” It’s the best that I can do, but it distracts her
momentarily from… him.
“Jeez Y/N/N – are you okay? Were you hurt?” She holds me at arm’s length and does a quick visual check-up on me.
“No. Christian saved me,” I whisper. “But I was quite shaken.”
“I’m not surprised. How was coffee? I know you hate coffee.”
“I had tea. It was fine, nothing to report really. I don’t know why he asked me.”
“He likes you Y/N/N.” She drops her arms.
“Not anymore. I won’t be seeing him again.” Yes, I manage to sound matter of fact.
“Oh?”
Shit. She’s intrigued. I head into the kitchen so that she can’t see my face.
“Yeah… he’s a little out of my league Bella,” I say as dryly as I can manage.
“What do you mean?”
“Oh Bella, it’s obvious.” I whirl round and face her as she stands in the kitchen doorway.
“Not to me,” she says. “Okay, he’s got more money than you, but then he has more money than most people in America!”
“Bella he’s– ” I shrug.
“Y/N! For heaven’s sake – how many times must I tell you? You’re a total babe,” she interrupts me. She’s off on this tirade again.
“Bella, please. I need to study.” I cut her short. She frowns.
“Do you want to see the article? It’s finished. José took some great pictures.”
Do I need a visual reminder of the beautiful Christian I-don’t-want-you Grey?
“Sure,” I magic a smile on to my face and stroll over to the laptop. And there he is, staring at me in black and white, staring at me and finding me lacking.
I pretend to read the article, all the time meeting his steady gray gaze, searching the photo for some clue as to why he’s not the man for me – his own words to me. And it’s suddenly, blindingly obvious. He’s too gloriously good-looking. We are poles apart and from two very different worlds. His words make sense. He’s not the man for me.
This is what he meant, and it makes his rejection easier to accept… almost. I can live with this. I understand.
“Very good Bella,” I manage. “I’m going to study.” I am not going to think about him again for now, I vow to myself, and opening my revision notes, I start to read.
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It’s only when I’m in bed, trying to sleep, that I allow my thoughts to drift through my strange morning. I keep coming back to the ‘I don’t do the girlfriend thing’ quote, and I’m angry that I didn’t pounce on this information sooner, when I was in his arms mentally begging him with every fiber of my being to kiss me. He’d said it there and then. He didn’t want me as a girlfriend. I turn on to my side.
Idly, I wonder if perhaps he’s celibate? I close my eyes and begin to drift. Maybe he’s saving himself.
Well not for you, my sleepy subconscious has a final swipe at me before unleashing itself on my dreams.
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I put my pen down. Finished. My final exam is over. I feel the Cheshire cat grin spread over my face.
It’s Friday, and we'll be celebrating tonight, really celebrating. I might even get drunk! I’ve never been drunk before. I glance across the sports hall at Bella, and she’s still scribbling furiously, five minutes to the end. This is it, the end of my academic career.
I shall never have to sit in rows of anxious, isolated students again. Inside I’m doing graceful cartwheels around my head, knowing full well that’s the only place I can do graceful cartwheels.
Bella stops writing and puts her pen down. She glances across at me, and I catch her sly smile too.
We head back to our apartment together in her Mercedes, refusing to discuss our final paper. Bella is more concerned about what she’s going to wear to the bar this evening. I am busily fishing around in my purse for my keys.
“Y/N/N, there’s a package for you.” Bella is standing on the steps up to the front door
holding a brown paper parcel. Odd. I haven’t ordered anything from Amazon recently. Bella gives me the parcel and takes my keys to open the front door.
It’s addressed to Miss Y/N Y/L/N. There’s no sender’s address or name. Perhaps it’s from my mom or Ray.
“It’s probably from my mom or dad.”
“Open it!” Bella is excited as she heads into the kitchen for our ‘Exams are finished celebration Champagne’.
I open the parcel, and inside I find a half leather box containing three seemingly identical old cloth-covered books in mint condition and a plain white card. Written on one side, in black ink in neat cursive handwriting, is:
Why didn't you tell me there was danger? Why didn't you warn me?
Ladies know what to guard against, because they read novels that tell them of these trisks...
I recognize the quote from Tess. I am stunned by the irony as I’ve just spent three hours writing about the novels of Thomas Hardy in my final examination. Perhaps there is no irony… perhaps it’s deliberate.
I inspect the books closely, three volumes of Tess of the D’Urbervilles. I open the front cover. Written in an old typeface on the front plate is:
‘London: Jack R. Osgood, McIlvaine and Co., 1891.’
Holy fuck - they are first editions. They must be worth a fortune, and I know immediately who’s sent them. Bella is at my shoulder gazing at the books. She picks up the card.
“First Editions,” I whisper.
“No way...” Bella’s eyes are wide with disbelief. “Grey?”
I nod.
“Can’t think of anyone else.”
“What does this card mean?”
“I have no idea. I think it’s a warning – honestly he keeps warning me off. I have no idea why. It’s not like I’m beating his door down.” I frown.
“I know you don’t want to talk about him, Y/N/N, but he’s seriously into you. Warnings or no.”
I have not let myself dwell on Christian Grey for the past week. Okay…I know it will take an eternity to expunge the feel of his arms around me and his wonderful fragrance from my brain. Why has he sent me this?
He told me that I wasn’t for him.
“I’ve found one Tess first edition for sale in New York at $14,000. But yours looks in much better condition. They must have cost more.” Bella is consulting her good friend Google.
“This quote – Tess says it to her mother after Alec D’Urberville has had his wicked way with her.”
“I know,” muses Bella. “What is he trying to say?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t care. I can’t accept these from him. I’ll send them back with an equally baffling quote from some obscure part of the book.”
“The bit where Angel Clare says fuck off?” Bella asks with a completely straight face.
“Yes, that bit.” I giggle. I love Bella, she’s so loyal and supportive. I repack the books and leave them on the dining table. She hands me a glass of champagne.
“To the end of exams and our new life in Seattle,” she grins.
“To the end of exams, our new life in Seattle, and excellent results.” We clink glasses and drink.
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The bar is loud and hectic, full of soon to be graduates out to get trashed. José joins us. He
won’t graduate for another year, but he’s in the mood to party and gets us into the spirit of our newfound freedom by buying a pitcher of margaritas for us all.
As I down my fifth, I know this is not a good idea on top of the champagne.
“So what now Y/N/N?” José shouts at me over the noise.
“Bella and I are moving to Seattle. Her parents have bought a condo there for her.”
“But you’ll be back for my show, right?”
“Of course, José, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I smile, and he puts his arm around my waist and pulls me close.
“It means a lot to me that you’ll be there Y/N/N,” he whispers in my ear. “Another margarita?”
“José Luis Rodriguez – are you trying to get me drunk? Because I think it’s working.” I giggle. “I think I’d better have a beer. I’ll go get us a pitcher.”
“More drinks, Y/N/N!” Bella bellows.
Bella has the constitution of an ox. She’s got her arm draped over Levi, one of our fellow English students and her usual photographer on her student newspaper. He’s given up taking photos of the drunkenness that surrounds him. He only has eyes for her. She’s in a stunning red dress that hugs her curves perfectly with black high heels and curls that reach her back elegantly.
Me, I’m in my usual skirt outfit but Bella made it more 'club like' and I love it, I feel very comfortable.
I move out of José’s hold and get up from our table. Whoa. Head spin. I have to grab the back of the chair. Tequila based cocktails are not a good idea.
I make my way to the bar and decide that I should visit the restroom while I am on my feet.
Good thinking, Y/N. I stagger off through the crowd. Of course, there’s a line, but at least it’s quiet and cool in the corridor. I reach for my cell phone to relieve the boredom of waiting in line.
Hmm… Who did I last call? Was it José? Before that a number I don’t recognize. Oh yes. Grey, I think this is his number. I giggle. I have no idea what the time is, maybe I’ll wake him. Perhaps he can tell me why he sent me those books and the crypticmessage.
If he wants me to stay away, he should leave me alone. I suppress a drunken grin and hit the automatic re-dial. He answers on the second ring.
“Y/N?” He’s surprised to hear from me. Well, frankly, I’m surprised to ring him.
Then my befuddled brain registers… how does he know it’s me?
“Why did you send me the books?” I slur at him.
“Y/N, are you okay? You sound strange.” His voice is filled with concern.
“I’m not the strange one, you are,” I accuse. My courage fuelled by alcohol.
“Y/N, have you been drinking?”
“What’s it to you?”
“I’m...curious. Where are you?”
“In a bar.”
“Which bar?” He sounds exasperated.
“A bar in Portland.”
“How are you getting home?”
“I’ll find a way.” This conversation is not going how I expected.
“Which bar are you in?”
“Why did you send me the books, Christian?”
“Y/N, where are you, tell me now.” His tone is so, so dictatorial, his usual control freak.
He's a freak. The thought makes me laugh.“You’re so… domineering,” I giggle.
“Where the fuck are you?”
He asked angrily.
Christian Grey is swearing at me. I giggle again. “I’m in Portland… s’a long way from Seattle s'a long way from your bizarre ass.”
“Where in Portland?”
“Goodnight, Christian.”
“Y/N!”
I hang up. Ha! Though he didn’t tell me about the books. I frown. Mission not accomplished. I am really quite drunk - my head swims uncomfortably as I shuffle with the line. Well, the object of the exercise was to get drunk. I have succeeded. This is what it’s like – probably not an experience to be repeated.
The line has moved, and it’s now my turn. I stare blankly at the poster on the back of the toilet door that extols the virtues of safe sex.
Fuck, did I just call Christian Grey? Shit. My phone rings and it makes me jump. I yelp in surprise.
“Hi,” I bleat timidly in to the phone. I hadn’t reckoned on this.
“I’m coming to get you,” he says and hangs up. Only Christian Grey could sound so calm and so threatening at the same time.
What the hell. I pull my skirt up. My heart is thumping. Coming to get me?
Oh no. I’m going to be sick… no… I’m fine. Hang on. He’s just messing with my head. I didn’t tell
him where I was. He can’t find me here. Besides, it will take him hours to get here from Seattle, and we’ll be long gone by then. I wash my hands and check my face in the mirror.
I look flushed and slightly unfocused. Hmm… tequila.
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*𝘾𝙃𝙍𝙄𝙎𝙏𝙄𝘼𝙉'𝙎 𝙋𝙊𝙑*
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The bar is crowded, full of students determined to have a good time. There’s some indie crap
thumping over the sound system and the dance floor is crowded with heaving bodies.
It makes me feel old.
She’s here somewhere.
Elliot has followed me in through the front door. “Do you see her?” he shouts over the noise.
Scanning the room, I spot Isabella Clark. She’s with a group of friends, all of them men, sitting
in a booth. There’s no sign of Y/N, but the table is littered with shot glasses and tumblers of beer.
Well, let’s see if Miss Clark is as loyal to her friend as Y/N is to her.
She looks at me in surprise when we arrive at her table.
“Isabella,” I say by way of greeting, and she interrupts me before I can ask her Y/N’s
whereabouts.
“Christian, what a surprise to see you here,” she shouts above the noise. The three guys at the table regard Elliot and me with hostile wariness.
“I was in the neighborhood.”
“And who’s this?” She smiles rather too brightly at Elliot, interrupting me again. What an
exasperating woman.
“This is my brother Elliot. Elliot, Isabella Clark. Where’s Y/N?”
Her smile broadens at Elliot, and I’m surprised by his answering grin.
“I think she went outside for some fresh air, she responds, but she doesn’t look at me. She
has eyes only for Mr. Love ’Em and Leave ’Em. Well, it’s her funeral.
“Outside? Where?” I shout.
“Oh. That way.” She points to double doors at the far end of the bar.
Pushing through the throng, I make my way to the door, leaving the three disgruntled men and
Clark and Elliot engaged in a grin-off.
Through the double doors there is a line for the ladies’ washroom, and beyond that a door that’s
open to the outside. It’s at the back of the bar. Ironically, it leads to the parking lot where Elliot and I
have just been.
Walking outside, I find myself in a gathering space adjacent to the parking lot—a hangout flanked
by raised flowerbeds, where a few people are smoking, drinking, chatting. Making out. I spot her.
Fucking hell. She’s with the photographer, I think, though it’s difficult to tell in the dim light. She’s in his
arms, but she seems to be twisting away from him. He mutters something to her, which I don’t hear,
and kisses her, along her jaw.
“José, no,” she says, and then it’s clear. She’s trying to push him off.
She doesn’t want this.
For a moment I want to rip his head off. With my hands fisted at my side I march up to them. “I
think the lady said no.” My voice carries, cold and sinister, in the relative quiet, while I struggle to
contain my anger.
He releases Y/N and she squints at me with a dazed, drunken expression.
“Grey,” he says, his voice terse, and it takes every ounce of my self-control not to smash the
disappointment off his face.
Y/N heaves, then buckles over and vomits on the ground.
Oh, shit!
“Ugh—Dios mío, Y/N/N!” José leaps out of the way in disgust.
Fucking idiot.
Ignoring him, I grab her hair and hold it out of the way as she continues to throw up everything
she’s had this evening. It’s with some annoyance that I note she doesn’t appear to have eaten. With my
arm around her shoulders I lead her away from the curious onlookers toward one of the flowerbeds.
“If
you’re going to throw up again, do it here. I’ll hold you.” It’s darker here. She can puke in peace. She
vomits again and again, her hands on the brick. It’s pitiful. Once her stomach is empty, she continues
to retch, long dry heaves.
Boy, she’s got it bad.
Finally her body relaxes and I think she’s finished. Releasing her, I give her my handkerchief,
which by some miracle I have in the inside pocket of my jacket.
Thank you, Mrs. Jones.
Wiping her mouth, she turns and rests against the bricks, avoiding eye contact because she’s
ashamed and embarrassed. And yet I’m so pleased to see her. Gone is my fury at the photographer. I’m
delighted to be standing in the parking lot of a student bar in Portland with Miss Y/N Y/L/N.
She puts her head in her hands, cringes, then peeks up at me, still mortified. Turning to the door, she glares over my shoulder. I assume it’s at her “friend.”
“I’ll, um, see you inside,” José says, but I don’t turn to stare him down, and to my favour, she
ignores him, too, returning her eyes to mine.
“I’m sorry,” she says finally, while her fingers twist the soft linen.
Okay, let’s have some fun.
“What are you sorry for, Y/N?”
“The phone call, mainly. Being sick. The list goes on,” she mumbles.
“We’ve all been here, perhaps not quite as dramatically as you.” Why is it such fun to tease this
young woman? “It’s about knowing your limits, Y/N. I mean, I’m all for pushing limits, but
really this is beyond the pale. Do you make a habit of this kind of behavior?”
Perhaps she has a problem with alcohol. The thought is worrying, and I consider whether I should
call my mother for a referral to a detox clinic.
Y/N frowns for a moment, as if angry, that little v forming between her brows, and I suppress the
urge to kiss it. But when she speaks she sounds contrite.
“No,” she says. “I’ve never been drunk before and right now I have no desire to ever be again.” She
looks up at me, her eyes unfocused, and she sways a little. She might pass out, so without giving it a
thought I scoop her up into my arms.
She’s surprisingly light. Too light. The thought irks me. No wonder she’s drunk.
“Come on, I’ll take you home.”
“I need to tell Bella,” she says, as her head rests on my shoulder.
“My brother can tell her.”
“What?”
“My brother Elliot is talking to Miss Clark”
“Oh?”
“He was with me when you called.”
“In Seattle?”
“No, I’m staying at The Heathman.” And my wild-goose chase has paid off.
“How did you find me?”
“I tracked your cell phone, Y/N.” I head toward the car. I want to drive her home. “Do you
have a jacket or a purse?”
“Er…yes, I came with both. Christian, please, I need to tell Bella. She’ll worry.”
I stop and bite my tongue. Clark wasn’t worried about her being out here with the
overamorous photographer. Rodriguez. That’s his name. What kind of friend is she? The lights from
the bar illuminate her anxious face.
As much as it pains me, I put her down and agree to take her inside. Holding hands, we walk back
into the bar, stopping at Bella’s table. One of the young men is still sitting there, looking annoyed and
abandoned.
“Where’s Bella?” Y/N shouts above the noise.
“Dancing,” the guy says, his dark eyes staring at the dance floor. She collects her leather black coat and purse
and, reaching out, she unexpectedly clutches my arm.
I freeze.
Shit.
My heart rate catapults into overdrive as the darkness surfaces, stretching and tightening its claws
around my throat.
“She’s on the dance floor,” she shouts, her words tickling my ear, distracting me from my fear. And
suddenly the darkness disappears and the pounding in my heart ceases.
What?
I roll my eyes to hide my confusion and take her to the bar, order a large glass of water, and pass it
to her.
“Drink.”
Eyeing me over the glass, she takes a tentative sip.
“All of it,” I command. I’m hoping this will be enough damage control to avoid one hell of a
hangover tomorrow.
What might have happened to her if I hadn’t intervened? My mood sinks.
And I think of what just happened to me.
Her touch. My reaction.
My mood plummets further.
Y/N sways a little as she’s drinking, so I steady her with a hand on her shoulder. I like the
connection—me touching her.
She finishes her drink, and retrieving the glass, I place it on the bar.
Okay. She wants to talk to her so-called friend. I survey the crowded dance floor, uneasy at the
thought of all those bodies pressing in on me as we fight our way through.
Steeling myself, I grab her hand and lead her toward the dance floor. She hesitates, but if she
wants to talk to her friend, there’s only one way; she’s going to have to dance with me. Once Elliot gets
his groove on, there’s no stopping him; so much for his quiet night in.
With a tug, she’s in my arms.
This I can handle. When I know she’s going to touch me, it’s okay. I can deal, especially since I’m
wearing my jacket. I weave us through the crowd to where Elliot and Bella are making a spectacle of
themselves.
Still dancing, Elliot leans toward me in mid-strut when we’re beside him and sizes us up with a
look of incredulity.
“I’m taking Y/N home. Tell Bella,” I shout in his ear.
He nods and pulls Clark into his arms.
Right. Let me take Miss Drunk Bookworm home, but for some reason she seems reluctant to go.
She’s watching Clark with concern. When we’re off the dance floor she looks back at Bella, then at
me, swaying and a little dazed.
“Fuck—” By some miracle I catch her as she passes out in the middle of the bar. I’m tempted to
haul her over my shoulder, but we’d be too conspicuous, so I pick her up once more, cradling her
against my chest, and take her outside to the car.
“Christ,” I mutter as I fish the key out of my jeans and hold her at the same time. Amazingly, I
manage to get her into the front seat and strap her in.
“Y/N.” I give her a little shake, because she’s worryingly quiet. “Y/N!”
She mumbles something incoherent and I know she’s still conscious. I know I should take her
home, but it’s a long drive to Vancouver, and I don’t know if she’ll be sick again. I don’t relish the idea
of my Audi reeking of vomit. The smell emanating from her clothes is already noticeable.
I head to The Heathman, telling myself that I’m doing this for her sake.
Yeah, tell yourself that, Grey.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
She sleeps in my arms as we travel up in the elevator from the garage. I need to get her out of her
skirt and her shoes. The stale stench of vomit pervades the space. I’d really like to give her a bath, but
that would be stepping beyond the bounds of propriety.
And this isn’t?
In my suite, I drop her purse on the sofa, then carry her into the bedroom and lay her down on the
bed. She mumbles once more but doesn’t wake. Briskly I remove her shoes and put them in the plastic laundry bag provided by the
hotel. Then I unzip her skirt and pull it off stuffing the piece of clothing in the
laundry bag.
She falls back on the bed, splayed out like a starfish, all pale arms and legs, and for a
moment I picture those legs wrapped around my waist as her wrists are bound to my Saint Andrew’s
cross.
I sit her up and she opens her eyes.
“Hello, Y/N,” I whisper, as I remove her jacket slowly and without her cooperation.
“Grey. Kiss,” she mutters.
“Yes, sweetheart.” I ease her down onto the bed. She closes her eyes again and rolls onto her side,
but this time huddles into a ball, looking small and vulnerable. I pull the covers over her and plant a
kiss in her hair.
Now that her filthy clothes have gone, a trace of her scent has reappeared. Apples, fall,
fresh, delicious…Y/N. Her lips are parted, eyelashes fanning out over pale cheeks, and her skin looks
flawless. One more touch is all I allow myself as I stroke her cheek with the back of my index finger.
“Sleep well,” I murmur, and then head into the living room to complete the laundry list. When
it’s done, I place the offending bag outside my suite so the contents will be collected and laundered.
Before I check my e-mails I text Welch, asking him to see if José Rodriguez has any police records.
I’m curious. I want to know if he preys on drunk young women. Then I address the issue of clothes for
Miss Y/L/N: I send a quick e-mail to Taylor.
•••
From: Christian Grey
RE: Miss Anastasia Steele
Date: May 20, 2023 23:46
To: J B Taylor.
——
Can you please find the following items for Miss Steele and have them delivered to my usual room before 10:00.
Skirt: Black Size 4
Shirt: White. Pretty. Size 4
Boots: Black Size 7
Socks: Size 7
Lingerie: Underwear—Size Small. Bra—Estimate 36C
Thank you.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
•••
Once it’s disappeared from my outbox, I text Elliot.
Y/N is with me.
If you’re still with Bella, tell her.
He
texts
by
return.
Will do. Hope you get laid. You soooo need it. ;)
His
response
makes me
snort.
I so do, Elliot. I so do.
I open my work e-mail and begin
to
read.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Nearly two hours later, I come to bed. It’s just after 1:45. She’s fast asleep and hasn’t moved from
where I left her. I strip, pull on my pajama pants and a T-shirt, and climb in beside her. She’s comatose; it’s
unlikely she’s going to thrash around and touch me.
I hesitate for a moment as the darkness swells
within me, but it doesn’t surface and I know it’s because I’m watching the hypnotic rise and fall of her
chest and I’m breathing in sync with her.
In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. For seconds, minutes, hours, I
don’t know, I watch her. And while she sleeps I survey every beautiful inch of her lovely face. Her dark
lashes fluttering while she sleeps, her lips slightly parted so I glimpse her even white teeth.
She
mutters something unintelligible and her tongue darts out and licks her lips. It’s arousing, very
arousing. Finally I fall into a deep and dreamless slumber.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
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