#isn't diego a beautiful little thing

[inklessletter]

I'm gonna share something happy within the horrible exhausting time I've been having. Like trying to actively focus on the GOOD in the inevitably bad.

You know the basics on what's going on so yeah.

When I found out in the middle of June that my baby has a tumor in her jaw (you can see it on the pictures. It was way smaller in June), I already had like a 2 day break down about loosing her. About her feeling worse and worse.

But - She's still here as of August 6th and she's not in any pain, still eating (pureed food), still meowing at me, still coming to greet us at the door when we come home, still standing on her hind legs to try and get a better look at the food I'm making. Still following me around the house. Trusting me to wipe spit off her jaw multiple times a day. Still coming to sit next to me, looking at me expectantly. Still mrrrp-ing.

I don't know how long this will last. It won't be forever and probably not even last until her 16th birthday on the 18th (which I desperately hope she'll be there for), and I've been crying for days now because it's just a lot. Just everything on top of THIS.

But she still manages to bring me so much joy (which also hurts. But in a good way, I think.

I love her so goddamn much (and I know this is supposed to be a happy post but it still made me sad.)

She's my little baby (and I know her two sisters are still there but the bond Diego and I have is just different. I can't describe it.

Hi love.

I'm hugging you and Diego and holding you as close to my heart as humanly possible. She's an angel, and she's full of love and so are you.

I know that there are no words that could soothe your soul right now, and there haven't been any since June. I am so, so sorry that you're going through this. It's such a heartbreaking situation, grieving something that hasn't really happened yet. I have no power to take away your pain, and if I had any, I would use is for you to focus on the love that you two are sharing in this time, and I think it is the only thing I can tell you now. Love is everything, and Diego is so beautiful, so loved and so, so, so lucky to have you as her guardian.

That bond you have I'm absolutely sure that will trascend anything, she's forever going to be part of you as you are part of her, now and always.

I wish you both the best, and if I can do anything for you, please DM me. You know I'm always open to talk to you.

Lots of love.

💗💗💗

[boymoding]

i love cooking with my trans girl friends. i feel most at home in a kitchen after dark and the extractor fan humming in the background and it's all humid and a little steamy from boiling pots. dark outside too. orange within. i used to look forward to getting shitty takeout when hanging out with people and that for sure has it's merits (baja blast) but oh isn't it nice to light a burner yourself. especially on a gas stove, even if they're like a bit shit. this must be categorically true because adam ragusea told me it. and there's so much shit about passing or being beautiful as a tgirl being losing weight or whatever. fucking yawn!! i'd not care for an ounce of that ever again if it meant that i could ask my friend to change the music whilst my hands were covered in half-kneaded pizza dough forevermore. make it a sex thing or a morals thing or a community thing: creating food from scratch is one of the kindest things we can do for eachother. when i was in san diego molly would go and put coffee on every morning whilst i styled my hair (takes forever). it was the incest coffee brand. you know the one. but i really liked that she just knew to do that. it just fits together. everything just fits together. cook your trans girlfriend or your trans girl friend or your trans girlfriend's girlfriend something nice someday

[diagnosedpsychosis]

Love At First Sight- Jake Seresin

Contains: A little bit of weight/body insecurity from reader, shy/coward jake, just as shy reader, fluff

Description: Jake's been acting a little differently cause he's taken an interest in you and doesn't want you to think he's a jerk. All the while he's too nervous to make a move.

Word Count: 1.4k

___________________________________

Jake didn't know what had come over him so hard that the confident man he was just weeks ago, had been replaced with a coward. He noticed it. His teammates noticed it. Even the bar regulars noticed that suddenly one of the cockiest, loudest, most outgoing men in San Diego had turned into a borderline hermit.

His regular game of darts with Javy had become a once in a blue moon activity. His teasing of Bradley, Bob and Nat ceased the moment they were finished work for the day. Even the usual 6 or 7 beers he'd pound down after a long day had reduced to 2 or 3 at the most.

He had an instinct of knowing when someone was looking at him, like his teammates and would meet their eyes with nothing but a bored stare before they'd look away not wanting to be bummed out by his mood. If only they knew that wasn't how he was feeling at all.

Even tonight, as Jake sits in a corner booth at the Hard Deck, his beer turning warm in his hand, his mouth and the rapid thud of his heart almost betray his exterior as he stares at you across the bar. You're talking to Penny, the easy smile on your face enough to make the corner of his lips twitch as he sits still, imagining all the things he'd say to you if he only had the courage to get off his ass.

Then he feels eyes on him and looks away, shooting a hard look in Javy and Reuben's direction. They both whirl around, turning their backs to him and then he's back to looking at you.

"He looking again?" Penny mumbles, leaning over the bar and grinning up at you. You've been caught glancing around the room again as to not make it obvious you were staring right back at the handsome blond.

"Mmm" You hum, biting on the inside of your cheek to try and stop yourself from grinning like a fool. You glance around again, eyes moving swiftly over him and onto the next person despite the desperate yearning in your chest, begging you to look at him again.

"I don't know why you don't just go and talk to him" Penny leans forward, lowering her tone so that there isn't a chance another guy in uniform hears the exchange. You whine, bouncing your foot like you were trying to get rid of a cramp.

"Have you met me? I'll take two steps and sweat my face off" You've never been overly confident and you had High School to thank for it. It didn't matter that it's been a decade since you graduated, growing up an overweight girl and not dropping the weight until you were in your 20's made you overly receptive to judgement.

You felt better now, more confident and happier, but because you didn't get to experience that bittersweet 'teenage love', you weren't really sure how dates and interest in people being reciprocated worked. Slowly losing weight late when everyone was getting boyfriends, or pregnant or even married didn't help either.

You'd noticed guys flocking to your pretty, skinny friends on nights out, and despite how beautiful your friends promised you were, your weight was the first thing they saw. If you smiled their way you were just the sweet, chubby girl that looked like she'd drank a whole bar empty and didn't know what was in and out of her league.

You'd never really had experience talking to guys, your Dad and brother not included, so the fact a ridiculously handsome man in uniform, that you're sure never would've spared you a glance when you were bigger, had been staring at you for weeks now, made you beyond nervous to make eye contact with him, let alone talk to him like Penny has tried to convince you to do for a while now.

"Well hey, if he doesn't love your nervous sweats then he doesn't deserve you" Penny tried to make you feel better, squeezing your arm before standing back up straight to fix a couple orders from some guys at the end of the bar. Your smile slowly falls from your face and internally you curse at yourself for not having the courage to even just go and say hi.

What you don't realise is Jake's doing the same, beating himself up for becoming so darn weak that he can't stand up, take a deep breath and walk over to you. Flying planes and risking his life were easy, but talking to a pretty woman he's been coming to the Hard Deck every day for 3 weeks purely with hopes of even just seeing? He felt like he couldn't breathe.

But then he watches your exchange with Penny, his heart beating twice as hard when for the first time in 3 weeks he watches the smile he's come to adore slowly fade from your face when Penny turns her back to you. He notices your heavy exhale and the drop of your shoulders. He notices you running the tip of your index finger around the rim of the glass in your hand that you're yet to take a sip of. He notices the slight crease of your eyebrows when you gnaw on your lip, and suddenly... he's never wanted to lift someone's mood so desperately before.

He doesn't give himself even a second to talk himself out of making his way to you, the need to see your smile again all too consuming.

Whatever's on your mind has your full attention, that even when the guy you've been watching for the last 3 weeks sits down on the stool beside you, his knee grazing yours, you fail to notice and keep tracing your finger around the rim of your glass.

Jake didn't know what the hell to say that didn't make him come across as an obsessed stalker, so he tried a humorous take instead. "You know, I almost wore that exact same top today. How embarrassing would that have been if we matched?"

His voice floats right into your ear and you turn your head, sucking in a sharp breath when you realise the person that's just spoken to you, is the same person you're making yourself insecure over. You open your mouth like a goldfish, not knowing what to say as you're still trying to process the fact he's finally spoken to you, before closing your mouth again.

You look down at the obviously very feminine top you paired with plain jeans, and finally his words sink in. Your lips curve up and the moment of internal terror Jake had as you stared at him in silence, washed away.

"Only embarrassing if you pulled it off better than me" Jake's mouth pulls up into an easy smile as he stares right back at you, both completely oblivious to the group of pilots watching the exchange in surprise.

"I find it hard to believe anyone could" The flirtation rolls of Jake's tongue and he can't help grin at the sight of your cheeks flushing as you turn your head away from him slightly, looking ahead. Jake's eyes bounce over your features up close and he wonders how somebody could look so beautiful from afar, and even more mesmerising up close. He regret's not talking to you the second he saw you.

"I'm Jake" He blurts the words, almost like he can't contain them any more. The longer he goes without properly introducing himself and learning your name, the more desperate he becomes to know anything and everything about you. You look back and his eyes are immediately drawn to your lips as they curve up in the most beautifully natural smile.

Sure, he's wanted to kiss you since the moment he spotted you, but right now, as he stares at your mouth and the faint dimple poking at your cheeks, he's never been more content seeing another person happy in his life.

"Y/n" You reply softly and immediately your name is carved and filled with pure liquid gold, in Jake's heart. His heart beats to the letters of your name in morse code. His eyes fill with so much hope as he stares at you, like finding out your name is the greatest gift he could've ever gotten.

And as you stare right back at him, he wonders if telling you he's in love with you before even the suggestion of a first date is too soon.

________________________________________

My first Top Gun: Maverick short. Hope it was okay <3

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Emil Ferris’s long-awaited “My Favorite Thing Is Monsters Book Two”

NEXT WEEKEND (June 7–9), I'm in AMHERST, NEW YORK to keynote the 25th Annual Media Ecology Association Convention and accept the Neil Postman Award for Career Achievement in Public Intellectual Activity.

Seven years ago, I was absolutely floored by My Favorite Thing Is Monsters, a wildly original, stunningly gorgeous, haunting and brilliant debut graphic novel from Emil Ferris. Every single thing about this book was amazing:

https://memex.craphound.com/2017/06/20/my-favorite-thing-is-monsters-a-haunting-diary-of-a-young-girl-as-a-dazzling-graphic-novel/

The more I found out about the book, the more amazed I became. I met Ferris at that summer's San Diego Comic Con, where I learned that she had drawn it over a while recovering from paralysis of her right – dominant – hand after a West Nile Virus infection. Each meticulously drawn and cross-hatched page had taken days of work with a pen duct-taped to her hand, a project of seven years.

The wild backstory of the book's creation was matched with a wild production story: first, Ferris's initial publisher bailed on her because the book was too long; then her new publisher's first shipment of the book was seized by the South Korean state bank, from the Panama Canal, when the shipper went bankrupt and its creditors held all its cargo to ransom.

My Favorite Thing Is Monsters told the story of Karen Reyes, a 10 year old, monster-obsessed queer girl in 1968 Chicago who lives with her working-class single mother and her older brother, Deeze, in an apartment house full of mysterious, haunted adults. There's the landlord – a gangster and his girlfriend – the one-eyed ventriloquist, and the beautiful Holocaust survivor and her jazz-drummer husband.

Karen narrates and draws the story, depicting herself as a werewolf in a detective's trenchcoat and fedora, as she tries to unravel the secrets kept by the grownups around her. Karen's life is filled with mysteries, from the identity of her father (her brother, a talented illustrator, has removed him from all the family photos and redrawn him as the Invisible Man) to the purpose of a mysterious locked door in the building's cellar.

But the most pressing mystery of all is the death of her upstairs neighbor, the beautiful Annika Silverberg, a troubled Holocaust survivor whose alleged suicide just doesn't add up, and Karen – who loved and worshiped Annika – is determined to get to the bottom of it.

Karen is tormented by the adults in her life keeping too much from her – and by their failure to shield her from life's hardest truths. The flip side of Karen's frustration with adult secrecy is her exposure to adult activity she's too young to understand. From Annika's cassette-taped oral history of her girlhood in an Weimar brothel and her escape from a Nazi concentration camp, to the sex workers she sees turning tricks in cars and alleys in her neighborhood, to the horrors of the Vietnam war, Karen's struggle to understand is characterized by too much information, and too little.

Ferris's storytelling style is dazzling, and it's matched and exceeded by her illustration style, which is grounded in the classic horror comics of the 1950s and 1960s. Characters in Karen's life – including Karen herself – are sometimes depicted in the EC horror style, and that same sinister darkness crowds around the edges of her depictions of real-world Chicago.

These monster-comic throwbacks are absolute catnip for me. I, too, was a monster-obsessed kid, and spent endless hours watching, drawing, and dreaming about this kind of monster.

But Ferris isn't just a monster-obsessive; she's also a formally trained fine artist, and she infuses her love of great painters into Deeze, Karen's womanizing petty criminal of an older brother. Deeze and Karen's visits to the Art Institute of Chicago are commemorated with loving recreations of famous paintings, which are skillfully connected to pulp monster art with a combination of Deeze's commentary and Ferris's meticulous pen-strokes.

Seven years ago, Book One of My Favorite Thing Is Monsters absolutely floored me, and I early anticipated Book Two, which was meant to conclude the story, picking up from Book One's cliff-hanger ending. Originally, that second volume was scheduled for just a few months after Book One's publication (the original manuscript for Book One ran to 700 pages, and the book had been chopped down for publication, with the intention of concluding the story in another volume).

But the book was mysteriously delayed, and then delayed again. Months stretched into years. Stranger rumors swirled about the second volume's status, compounded by the bizarre misfortunes that had befallen book one. Last winter, Bleeding Cool's Rich Johnston published an article detailing a messy lawsuit between Ferris and her publishers, Fantagraphics:

https://bleedingcool.com/comics/fantagraphics-sued-emil-ferris-over-my-favorite-thing-is-monsters/

The filings in that case go some ways toward resolve the mystery of Book Two's delay, though the contradictory claims from Ferris and her publisher are harder to sort through than the mysteries at the heart of Monsters. The one sure thing is that writer and publisher eventually settled, paving the way for the publication of the very long-awaited Book Two:

https://www.fantagraphics.com/products/my-favorite-thing-is-monsters-book-two

Book Two picks up from Book One's cliffhanger and then rockets forward. Everything brilliant about One is even better in Two – the illustrations more lush, the fine art analysis more pointed and brilliant, the storytelling more assured and propulsive, the shocks and violence more outrageous, the characters more lovable, complex and grotesque.

Everything about Two is more. The background radiation of the Vietnam War in One takes center stage with Deeze's machinations to beat the draft, and Deeze and Karen being ensnared in the Chicago Police Riots of '68. The allegories, analysis and reproductions of classical art get more pointed, grotesque and lavish. Annika's Nazi concentration camp horrors are more explicit and more explicitly connected to Karen's life. The queerness of the story takes center stage, both through Karen's first love and the introduction of a queer nightclub. The characters are more vivid, as is the racial injustice and the corruption of the adult world.

I've been staring at the spine of My Favorite Thing Is Monsters Book One on my bookshelf for seven years. Partly, that's because the book is such a gorgeous thing, truly one of the great publishing packages of the century. But mostly, it's because I couldn't let go of Ferris's story, her characters, and her stupendous art.

After seven years, it would have been hard for Book Two to live up to all that anticipation, but goddammit if Ferris didn't manage to meet and exceed everything I could have hoped for in a conclusion.

There's a lot of people on my Christmas list who'll be getting both volumes of Monsters this year – and that number will only go up if Fantagraphics does some kind of slipcased two-volume set.

In the meantime, we've got more Ferris to look forward to. Last April, she announced that she had sold a prequel to Monsters and a new standalone two-volume noir murder series to Pantheon Books:

https://twitter.com/likaluca/status/1648364225855733769

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/01/the-druid/#oh-my-papa

[notroosterbradshaw]

I have a thought that’s been playing in my head for the past few days. Maybe rooster finds out he’s gonna be a dad w/ reader and on the outside he’s thrilled but on the inside he’s terrified. He doesn’t sleep since finding out and one morning before the sun even rises he hears footsteps come out onto the covered deck behind him, and reader is wrapped up in a little blanket, but it’s raining and cold so of course he’s like, “go inside, you’ll catch a cold, you’re pregnant are you crazy?” And of course the reader knows he’s got something going on so while it’s like early morning raining they sit on the porch and talk about it and rooster feels so much more confident about being a good dad. I just have feels about that and idk if I explained my thots well? 🥹 if you’d be interested in elaborating on this I would love that? 💕

Here’s a wee drabble, nonny x

“Ew, rain,” you mutter, coming to sit with Rooster as he sat on the porch swing. Not what you signed up for when you made your way across the country to live your life with Bradley in San Diego. “Looks like it’s settling in,” you took his hand and tenderly kissed his knuckles.

“Looks like,” he agreed quietly. God, you hated when he internalised like this. He wasn’t great with his emotions at the best of times, but when he took his space, you knew he wasn’t processing your news.

“Talk to me, sweetheart,” you said softly.

“Anything,” he admitted, not meeting your eyes.

“I know it’s scaring at you," you said softly. He noticed your free hand gently rubbing the non-existant bump of where his baby was starting to grow within you.

"No, baby," he lied. He blatantly lied to you, and sadly for him, you were so schooled in the wiles of Bradley Bradshaw and he was so transparent at times. "I’m okay."

"You're internalising, sweetheart. I know you."

He sighed. "Baby," he tried, turning to face you. He watched you shiver as the light drizzle started to cover you. "Baby... come here," he wrapped you protectively in his strong arms.

"Do you not... want the baby?" you asked, the fear in your voice that something you were sure you were both ready for (you'd had the birth control discussion, and he was very excited about that part, you'd had the baby discussion, he was just as excited about that too. Sure, it happened fast... but there was a lot of practice and wasn't that a good thing?).

"Oh, baby. Yes, I do, so so much," he said, his heart falling that you were upset now too. "I am so happy that we're having this baby," he desperately tried to reassure you. He turned you to face him and held your face, the tears threatening to fall from your beautiful eyes - the eyes he hoped your beautiful baby may share too. "I can't believe you're going to make me a father. That is the most amazing thing you could ever do for me. This is the biggest thing we will ever do together.”

"Then why are you being so... quiet? Reclusive?"

"I'm scared," he said simply, the shrug that joined his statement so limp. He couldn't meet your eyes and stared hard at the rain before you. You could see his disappointment oozing off himself and your heart ached. "I am so scared I'm going to be such a bad father. Goose wasn't around... and then I lost him. I hardly remember him anymore. I don't know what a father is supposed to do, act..."

"Oh, Bradley," your tears finally fell. "You are going to be the most wonderful father. I understand why you might be scared. Trust me, I am terrified too. We can be duly terrified together."

His face softened. "What? How could you possibly be scared?"

"Well, we're about to have this baby together and it's not like your job isn't a massive risk. I'm really scared to do it on my own and you're away so often - but there is no doubt in my mind, Bradley Bradshaw, that we are going to be amazing parents. Gimme your hand," you gently linked fingers and placed his big, strong hand under the tee you wore. "That's our baby. And it's going to be a massive learning curve. But I know one thing is for sure. You are going to be a magnificent father, Bradley."

"You think?" he said finally, his hand carefully rubbing against your soft skin. He lowered his face and rested his forehead in the crease of your shoulder, he breathed you in, letting your sweet scent surround him and centre him. “Believe me, I’m so excited, baby. I’m just so scared.”

“Trust your intuition, sweetheart. You do it every day.”

He reached up to kiss you. “I know I will be a great dad…” he said, hopeful.

"You will be a beautiful father. Just have a little faith in yourself. You’ve got time to get your head around this.”

“I don’t want to disappoint you, baby.”

You moved and caressed his face, your thumb tracing the edge of his moustache, and he reached to try and catch you with his lips. “You could never ever disappoint me, Bradley Bradshaw.”

Send me your Rooster thots.

[noveratus]

Ok, I finished it. Here is my review, I'll do a little rewrite in a separate post. Spoilers for season 4.

Boy, am I sad that TUA was canceled after just two seasons!

For real though. This was shit. Truly and utterly shit. And it is a shame too, because it had potential.

Let's make something clear: TUA started as a parody/critique of superhero shows and an exploration of what happens when a superhero team akin to the Xmen split up. It explores how the superhero life can break someone, either from being a superhero or being pushed away from that life. Yes, the ending of season one with the world being destroyed was beautiful. But it shouldn't have been the main take away. Explaining the lore should never have been your take away. People watch the show for the characters, not your bullshit lore that makes no sense with made up elements and trying to redeem an abuser.

Season 2 was flawed, but it was beautiful, mostly because of Viktor and his discover of himself and who he was. I didn't really care for the other characters as much, but I still had a good time. It was fun! It was colorful! And people all and all felt like themselves, broken, messy but themselves.

Then came season 3, aka the character assassination of Allison Hargreeves, and I swear this season is just there to be there to make her unlikable, do the whole bullshit with Luther, who until that point was my least favorite character and then make you feel bad to dislike her as if she could be compared to Viktor in season 1. Viktor in season 1 was flawed, yes, but he didn't make every single decision to piss off the audience, and season 2 was all about him trying to prove himself to his siblings. But no. Allison just gets a get out of jail free card and gets everything go her way, but hey, if you ignore the shit show that was Allison's you have, well, you have what could have been an interesting dynamic between the families. It wasn't. But it could have been if the Sparrows hadn't been immediately killed.

And then we had season 4 which had the exact same issues as season 3 but worse because now, it isn't just Allison who is getting ruined, oh no, it is Fives, Lila and Diego because we need that forced romance and that stupid dreaded love triangle. And this is all this season is. A bunch of montages of nothing leading to an ending that is honestly very unsatisfying and doesn't make any sense:

A- They already were in a timeline where the Marigold was never released seeing as they didn't have any powers and yet they still existed.

B- They weren't the only source of Marigold. Maybe in this universe, but I'm pretty certain that Ben didn't drink all the Marigold. What about the guy Klaus splashed in Marigold? Did he get any powers? Christ, what is this bullshit?

C- No, no, I still need someone to explain to me why having multiple timelines is a bad thing??? What the fuck do you mean 'does this feel right?' There is a tentacle monster devouring that world, does that feel right? And that's the thing, you could fix this by saying that, instead of having multiple timelines be the issue, the issue is that the Marigold being released leads to the end of the world no matter what. Multiple timelines are a widely accepted theory, and isn't timelines bleeding into each other eventually going to fix the issue you have in the first place since it implies that they are all converging into one??? Stupidest time bullshit I've heard in a WHILE

D- This really leaves a sour taste in my mouth as does any and all endings that have 'death is the answer' as their conclusion. My dude, the whole point of the finale of season 1 was how no matter what, it's never too late, how people can still be saved, that's what they do with Viktor, it is all about healing and no we are abandoning that for what??? Getting gooed?! I hate this ending. I think that this trope needs to be killed and buried just like the characters they want to kill themselves.

But the ending is not even my main issue with this series. What is this show's issue with side characters? They just hate anyone who isn't Lila and the original Umbrella Academy. Why did we have to kill Luther's girlfriend in season 3? Why couldn't Fives have another love interest that wasn't the daughter of the people he killed AND the wife of his fucking brother? Also, Five felt weird this entire season, he lacked his quips and his mannerism and everything that made him Five, he just felt like a kid who was a genius or something except he never does anything particularly smart. He is just a completely different character, an emo kid who doesn't care about his family and is more interested in getting laid? Ugh. Back to the side characters, though, they implied that Viktor was having relationship issues in this season and yet that goes nowhere. Klaus and his sexuality is treated as a joke to the point of it being insulting and finally we have the final one. The big one. Ben and what's her face? I swear she gets like 10 lines max in the show despite being integral to the plot and 8 of them are spoken to Ben or about Ben. I've seen a lot of bad cases of female characters being just objects to their male counterparts but YIKES. That one was something. I'll talk more about this about my proposed rewrite for this season, however.

Also, Reginald does not deserve forgiveness. This is a Reginald hate account. Bro traumatized his son. The take away shouldn't be "maybe your abusive dad wasn't bad" the take away should be "your abusive dad doesn't deserve your forgiveness, get the fuck away from him, you don't need him, be with the people you love who love you back." Ah, found families, how I love you baby.

Those are my overall complaints. Everything else in this season hust felt pointless. You could have written this season to be 2 episodes long without really losing anything. The jokes were too childish, the choreography was ok I guess and the music (save baby shark, whoever decided to do that bit, I'm outside your house with a shotgun, don't worry, I just wanna talk) was the best part.

[mistchievous]

Happy Thursday! I come bearing gifts!

A collection of one-shots by the wonderful @extasiswings as a fic book you can purchase with beautiful cover art from @like-the-rest-of-la. If you're interested, please send me a DM for the link!

This book includes the following Buddie one-shots for your enjoyment:

fire on fire • 6.7k

"You’re sleeping with him.” “I’m not—” Eddie rolls his eyes and corrects himself halfway through. “I’m not sleeping with him like that, okay?” Sophia looks at him for a long moment as her gaze turns from teasing to thoughtful. “But you want to be. Right?” [Or: Buck and Eddie get in the habit of sharing a bed while living together during quarantine. It's platonic until it isn't.]

With A Little Help From My Friends • 2.9k

“You know…several of us parents get together once, maybe twice a month or so. You’re welcome to join us if you’d like. I can add you to the email chain.” Not for the first time that day, Eddie’s surprised. It’s not that he’s opposed, more that the invitation is unexpected. He’s not particularly social—when he is it’s with the team or with Buck or with his family, all of them in each other’s houses, in each other’s lives both at work and away from it. Outside of them… It occurs to him that he’s never really known how to make friends. [Or: Eddie makes friends outside of work and realizes that Buck might not, in fact, be just a friend]

unfold me (tell me you love me) • 2.4k

Eddie follows the sound of running water to the kitchen. He stops in the doorway, leaning against the frame, and spends a moment just watching Buck scrub potatoes in the sink until the other man glances up and notices him. “Hey,” Buck greets. “Chris is reading in his room, I’m just working on dinner. How was the date?” God, I love you, Eddie thinks, and nearly has to bite his tongue to keep it to himself. [Or: Eddie goes on a date and has some realizations about what he really wants.]

for all the perfect things I doubt • 5.2k

Evan Buckley is really good in bed. Sometimes he wishes he wasn’t.

dream of some epiphany • 7.4k

Evan Buckley is lost. It’s happenstance that he wanders into the navy recruiting center—he’s been in San Diego for a few weeks, bartending late nights and weekends, living in a house with three other guys not because he needs the roommates but because he doesn’t want to be alone, and the military is…respectable. Stable. So Buck thinks maybe and opens the door. Buck leaves ten minutes later with a set of printed instructions for sending his first letter, assured that he can drop it off whenever he’s ready, and a name. Staff Sergeant Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz.

of men and of angels • 13.5k

For now we see in a mirror, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know fully even as also I was fully known. - 1 Corinthians 13:12 Eddie Diaz learns a lot as a kid. Boys aren’t soft. Boys don’t cry. Boys don’t kiss boys. As he gets older, he realizes that everything has exceptions. Boys can be soft sometimes. Boys can cry sometimes. And some boys kiss other boys. But Eddie likes kissing girls. And since he likes kissing girls, that’s the end of the story. Isn’t it? [Or: the one with all the repression]

translate the magic (show me) • 8.1k

“I think I might be bad in bed.” Eddie rolls that thought around in his head, trying to decide the best way to respond, weighing the options of what Buck needs to hear versus how to say it. It’s not a conversation he wants to be having, is part of the problem. Thinking about Buck desperately seeking connection through fleeting sexual encounters with strangers already makes him swallow back a wave of petty jealousy and possessiveness. But there’s an added level of insult to injury to the idea that Buck wasn’t even having good sex. Which maybe explains why despite his initial commitment to delicacy and tact, what comes out of Eddie’s mouth is— “You probably were. Bad at it.” Buck’s eyes widen, a strangled noise sounding from his throat. “Don’t pull any punches,” he shoots back as he hunches in the chair and drains the last dregs of his beer. “I didn’t mean it like that.” [Or: the one where Buck has a crisis and Eddie teaches him what good sex really is]

paint me a heaven with your bloodied mouth • 3.3k

Buck. Four letters. One syllable. Eddie knows it’s a nickname. He doesn’t know why Buck picked it or why Buck seems to use it exclusively, but he figures it isn’t really his business. And also that it probably isn’t that deep—all of them use nicknames at work or otherwise in their daily lives. Eddie himself might find it weird if anyone outside of his immediate family suddenly started using his full name regularly after so many years of only rarely hearing it from anyone else. So. Eddie calls Buck Buck. And he doesn’t think anything of it. At least…not at first.

all my atoms • 3.9k

Every atom of me and every atom of you...we'll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pin trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams...and when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won't just be able to take one, they'll have to take two. There are three things every child learns about daemons: Don’t ask questions or talk about another person’s daemon—it’s rude. Don’t put too much distance between yourself and your daemon—it’ll hurt. Under no circumstances should you ever touch someone else’s daemon. Simple. Straightforward. Easy to remember, easier to follow. That’s what Eddie thinks of the rules.

half agony, half hope • 4.4k

“My brother does look well tonight, doesn’t he?” Adriana asks, changing the subject as they turn. Her eyes spark with mischief when Buck hums idly in agreement. “Strange that bruise on his neck, though. I can’t imagine how he could have gotten such a thing.” “Perhaps his fencing partner got a bit overzealous,” he offers, despite knowing that won’t be good enough for her to drop it. [Or, after four seasons, the ton remains baffled that no engagement appears forthcoming between Viscount Buckley and the youngest sister of the Duke of Cederhall. But perhaps they should be paying more attention to the viscount and the duke himself...]

safety and home • 3.1k

The thing Eddie remembers most about the shooting isn’t the shot itself, or the pain, or even the fear—it’s the cold. He’s been through enough in his life to know that his subconscious works in weird ways. After Afghanistan he dreamed more directly of burning helicopters and gunfire, blood in his mouth and smoke on his tongue. Shadows and screams and guilt. After the well his dreams were of Christopher, Shannon, waves crashing on a beach. And Buck. Sunlight. This time...this time Eddie dreams of drowning. [For the prompt: "I'll keep you warm."]

light the dynamite • 1.6k

Buck shivers as he thinks back to earlier in the day, at the way Eddie snapped his name like a whip across the radio when he did exactly what Eddie and Bobby both had told him not to do. At the frosty glad to hear it, Firefighter Buckley, when Buck called dispatch back to tell Eddie he was fine if a little bruised. At the way Eddie had called him at the end of the shift, voice low and quiet and commanding, hooking deep beneath Buck’s skin and stealing the breath from his lungs until all he could manage was a rasping acknowledgment before hanging up. It could be seconds, or minutes, or an hour more, but finally the bedroom door clicks open and— “So you do know how to follow instructions,” Eddie says, the edge in his voice not quite sharp enough to cut but a warning nonetheless. “I was wondering.”

show your cards • 2.7k

“What was this tonight?” Buck rasps, his voice rough as sandpaper to his own ears. Eddie’s lips quirk as his eyes flick to somewhere just to the left of Buck’s ear like he can’t respond if he’s looking at Buck outright. “It was dinner, Buck,” he says. “Dinner and a poker game.” And Buck could leave it there. Honestly, he probably should leave it there, leave it alone, let it drop despite the fact that he can practically taste the lie in the air. But he’s too warm and his pulse is so fast that he’s dizzy with it and Eddie is so close that Buck can’t breathe so he can’t help himself— “Eddie.” His voice cracks. Eddie looks back at him, meets his gaze. Slowly, with more than enough time for Buck to move or to stop him, Eddie brings a hand up to curl around Buck’s shoulder, his thumb brushing Buck’s neck in a way that lights up every inch of his skin. “Tonight was whatever you want it to be,” Eddie corrects finally. “No more, no less.”

you make my heart beat • 1.9k

Eddie Diaz knows two things: 1) he's a great nurse; and 2) he does not fall for patients. After spending five months with Evan Buckley...well. Maybe that second one is a little more of an open question.

graveyard whistling (and why things hurt) • 3.2k

“Eddie?” Buck’s hand touches his shoulder and Eddie inhales sharply and comes back to himself. His eyes flick back to the phone—the screen now dimmed and black—then settle on the counter next to it as he swallows hard. “You okay?” Buck asks quietly. “She died today,” Eddie replies. “And I forgot. I forgot that it was today.”

only human, nothing more • 1.9k

It’s stupid maybe, but it feels a little like something happens in that chair. They cut away the softness and leave behind sharp regulation edges and it doesn’t stop Eddie from being afraid, but it...helps. Helps him pretend. Helps him fall into the role of someone who is responsible, someone who knows what they’re doing, someone who— Someone who is in control. (Stupid, maybe. Stupid, definitely, is what he settles on years later when he’s back from war, trapped in his own head and drowning on dry land, because regulation edges make him flinch when he looks in the mirror and he knows no haircut in the world is going to help him fake his way back to normalcy. So he just lets it grow again. It doesn’t matter anyway.) [Or: Eddie introspection through the seasons as explored through haircuts]

It’s 5.5 x 8.5 in. and 319 pages.

Of course, no money is being made off of this collection. Here's the evidence of that:

(For other 9-1-1 fic books, check out @tsoanatural's fic book tag here. For "Stuck on Fast Forward (Throw Away the Blueprint)" by @extasiswings, you can check out my post here.)

[loveroftoomanyfandoms]

Every Little Thing She Does is Magic, Chapter 7

Pairing: Platonic Steven Grant x Reader (for now 😏)

Rating: T

Word count: ~2k

Story Summary: Steven meets a beautiful woman in the Egyptian exhibit at the British Museum...

...Too bad she's his new boss.

Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergent since Steven still works for the British Museum post-canon, No Jake Lockley, developing friendship

A/N: Sorry that it's been a minute, folks! Non-fandom life is crazy right now and I also took a hard left into the Zorro (as in the 1950s Disney show) fandom for a hot minute before deciding that I need to finish at least one of my WIPs (most likely this one) before getting too deep into the fic I'm writing for Diego.

(Funny enough, I did the same thing to Matt Murdock with Steven. 😂)

Either way, updates should come a bit faster again than they had been!

Tag List: @runny-mascara

Being able to walk to work is so much more convenient than having to rely on the bus, Steven thought as he made himself a cup of tea in the staff kitchen. 

The bus route that ran nearest to his old flat had usually put him getting to work with just barely enough time to put his things away before he needed to get to work, but now that he had moved into his new flat closer to the museum he was able to come in, put his things away, and make himself a cup of tea before starting his day. That reminds me…

He picked up his cup and headed upstairs to Dr. Y/L/N’s office, smiling when he saw Helen sitting at her desk. “Good morning, Helen.”

Helen looked over at him with a smile. “Morning, Steven. I'm afraid Dr. Y/L/N isn't in quite yet.”

Steven shook his head. “Actually, I came up to speak with you.”

Helen nodded. “Oh. Well in that case, what can I do for you?”

“I need to update my home address, please.”

“Okay, that's no problem.” Helen put her glasses on and turned towards her computer. “You could've just emailed me, you know. There's no actual paperwork involved.”

Steven grinned. “Ah, but then I wouldn't have gotten to see your smiling face, now would I?”

Helen giggled like a schoolgirl and waved a hand at him. “Oh Steven, you charmer. You know how to make an old girl blush.”

She pulled up his employee information record. “Okay, what's your new address?”

Steven recited his new address as Helen typed the information in. “Mobile number and everything else is still the same.”

Helen nodded. “Alright, then, you're all set.”

“Brilliant. Thanks.” Steven turned as Dr. Y/L/N walked up. “Good morning, Dr. Y/L/N.”

“Morning Steven,” Dr. Y/L/N replied with a smile. “Morning, Helen.”

Helen smiled back at her. “Good morning, ma'am.”

Dr. Y/L/N stopped by Helen's desk. “Steven, I'm glad you're here. I wanted to chat with you about a few things… if you have time right now, that is.”

Steven nodded. “Yes, ma'am, I have time.”

“Wonderful. Let's go to my office.”

Steven followed Dr. Y/L/N into her office, pausing as she closed the door behind them. “How are you this morning?”

Dr. Y/L/N smiled. “I'm well, thank you. How are you? Have a good weekend?”

Steven nodded. “Yes, ma'am. Busy, but good. I spent the weekend getting settled into my new flat.”

Dr. Y/L/N’s eyebrows raised slightly in surprise. “Oh, I didn't remember you mentioning that you were moving.”

Steven nodded again. “My lease was up on my old flat and I wanted somewhere a bit bigger and closer to work. I'm actually not far from you, just up the street a bit.”

Another smile spread across Dr. Y/L/N’s face. “Oh, really? Well then, welcome to the neighborhood. Maybe we'll see each other around.”

“Thank you.” Steven bit his lip. “Er, actually, if you're not working late, maybe we can walk home together since we're going in the same direction.”

Dr. Y/L/N nodded. “Yeah, I'd like that. I don't have anything pressing on my schedule this afternoon, so I should be able to leave on time.”

Steven grinned. “Brilliant! So I'll meet you out front at 5?”

Dr. Y/L/N nodded again. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

Steven took a sip of his tea. “So what did you need to see me about?”

“Few things, actually.” Dr. Y/L/N gestured to the chair in front of her desk.  “Have a seat.”

Steven sat and waited as Dr. Y/L/N walked around her desk and set her travel thermos of coffee down.

Dr. Y/L/N also sat. “Okay, first I wanted to thank you again for offering to help out in the gift shop last week until I could get the schedule rearranged in order to fill Donna's shifts. You really kept them -- and by proxy, me -- out of a bind.”

Steven shrugged. “It was the least I could do, ma'am. To be honest, I felt a bit responsible for causing the situation.”

Dr. Y/L/N shook her head. “The only person responsible for causing the situation is the person who is no longer employed here, but either way, I really appreciate it.”

She took a sip of her coffee. “The second thing is that we've had several new members join the board of trustees in the past couple of months, so I'd like for you to give the board a tour during the next meeting.”

Steven nodded. “Absolutely, ma'am. When is it?”

“Next Tuesday at 10 AM.”

“No problem. I'll put it on my schedule.”

Dr. Y/L/N paused to take another sip of her coffee. “And actually that brings me to the other thing I wanted to talk to you about. It's time for your 6-month evaluation.”

Steven nodded. All new hires and employees promoted into a higher position were given a performance review after their first 6 months before being shifted into annual reviews. “Wow, has it been 6 months already?”

“I know, I was surprised too.” Dr. Y/L/N gave him a soft smile. “I’m sure you already know what I'm going to say, which is that you're doing an absolutely wonderful job as our Visitor Engagement Specialist. We've gotten absolutely zero complaints about the tours since you took over the position -- in fact, our guided tour numbers have skyrocketed and museum memberships are the highest they've been in decades. And not only that, but you've been an excellent leader amongst the rest of the programming staff. I can tell that they really respect and admire you.”

Steven huffed out a breath of relief. He had figured that he would be getting a favorable performance review, but it was still nice to have it confirmed. “That's good to hear, ma'am.”

Dr. Y/L/N’s phone chimed with an alert. “Oh, sorry. Let me put that on silent.”

She pulled her phone out of her pocket, smiling brightly as she looked at the screen. She then tapped at it a few times before silencing it and putting it back in her pocket. “Sorry about that,” she said again. “My best friend is coming into town in a couple of weeks and she just sent me her flight information.”

“Oh that's lovely,” Steven replied. “Is she also an archeologist?”

Dr. Y/L/N shook her head. “No, she's a novelist. Amy Callahan?”

Steven tilted his head as he thought. “The name sounds familiar, but I don't know if I've ever actually read anything by her. I’m afraid I don't read much fiction.”

“It’s fine, I honestly wouldn't have expected you to have read anything Amy’s written.” Dr. Y/L/N shrugged, a small grin on her face. “She’s a spicy romance writer, so you're not exactly her target audience.”

Steven chuckled. “Well either way, I'm happy the two of you will be able to visit. How long will she be in town for?”

“Four days. Amy’s UK publisher is bringing her here on a book tour for her latest novel, but she talked them into flying her in a few days early so she and I can spend the weekend together. She'll be arriving next Friday evening and leaving for Manchester on Tuesday morning after her book launch Monday night.”

Steven took a sip of his tea. “How long has it been since you've seen each other?”

“Since right before I moved here. We FaceTime a few times a week, but it's not the same as getting to hang out in person.”

Steven nodded. “That's understandable.”

Dr. Y/L/N smiled and shook her head. “Anyway, that was all I had for you, so if you'll sign your review for me I'll make a copy for you then let you get back to your day.”

She slid the paperwork over to him and handed him a pen.

Steven quickly signed his performance review and handed it back to Dr. Y/L/N. “Here you are, ma'am.”

“Excellent. Thank you.” Dr. Y/L/N signed it as well, then stood and walked over to the printer to make a copy.

She handed Steven’s copy to him. “So I'll see you this afternoon then?”

Steven nodded as he stood. “See you then.”

He left her office, giving Helen a friendly wave as he passed her on his way to the elevator.

Once he had gotten back downstairs to his own office, he sat down at his desk and added the tour for the board of trustees to his calendar before beginning to read through his evaluation.

Employee Name: Steven Grant

Employee Personnel Number: P0013547

Employee Position: Visitor Engagement Specialist 

Date of Review: 19-August-2024

Reason for Review: 6-Month New Position Evaluation 

Steven skipped through the part that listed the museum’s mission statement and expectations of his position and instead focused on Dr. Y/L/N’s review of his job performance.

Steven has been extremely successful in his first six months as Visitor Engagement Specialist, Dr. Y/L/N had written. He has gone above and beyond in his role and has been instrumental in improving museum services and fulfilling the museum's mission statement. 

Steven is willing to assist other departments whenever needed to the best of his ability and without complaint. He is kind and respectful towards his colleagues and handles conflict with grace and professionalism.

As the Visitor Engagement Specialist, Steven has created tours that are insightful, educational, captivating, and  that highlight the museum's diverse and ever-changing collection without feeling rushed or overwhelming. He is highly praised as a tour guide by museum visitors and has done a remarkable job of training the Programming staff to present tours at the same level of quality. 

(See attached documentation.)

Steven flipped through the pages of notes and comments, smiling at the copies of thank-you cards and drawings he had received from school groups after their visits and the comment & suggestion cards the museum had collected from other visitors.

He glanced over at the large cork board on the far left wall of his office, which housed even more drawings and thank-you notes and cards from teachers and students. They were Steven's favorite groups to give tours to and he always loved knowing that the children had been excited and intrigued by their visit.

He finished reading over his performance review then tucked it away into a file folder in his desk drawer before sitting back with a smile.

Feels good to be appreciated, doesn't it? Marc said.

Steven’s smile widened into a grin as he caught Marc's reflection on his computer screen.

He picked up his work phone so if anyone passed by his office they wouldn't see him technically talking to himself. “Yeah, it does.”

Nice move offering to walk Dr. Y/L/N home, by the way. Gonna see if she wants to stop for coffee on the way?

Steven shook his head. “I probably shouldn't. Don't want her to think I'm only asking her because she gave me a good performance review.”

Marc raised an eyebrow. Do you honestly believe she would think that? The two of you have coffee and tea together all the time. 

“Yeah but that's here at work, that's… that's completely different.”

*Is* it though?

Steven bit his lip as he thought. Having tea with Dr. Y/L/N at a coffee shop really wasn't all that different from having tea with her in the staff kitchen at work -- as long as he maintained the same level of professionalism. “Yeah, I suppose you're right.”

So you're at least going to ask her, right?

Steven nodded. “Yeah, I think I might.”

He hung up the phone then finished his tea before setting his cup back down on his desk, energized for the day.

[theoutcastrogue]

Favorite movie from 01?

[Give me a year and I'll give you my favourite films / recommendations]

Perhaps "favourite" isn't the best word, perhaps the best word is "biggest obsession", but I have to go with Mulholland Drive. David Lynch is a very special case, you're either into him or you ain't, and arguments either way are of little use. I just want to note 2 things, about Lynch in general and Mulholland in particular:

Contrary to all appearances, it actually makes sense. It may be a weird sense, a dream sense (literally a dream, for like half of this movie), but it's not random.

It doesn't need to make sense to you to be enjoyable. It's perfectly cool to treat it like a trip, and just get lost in the highway sauce. You can revisit it later, and think about it and look up what others have made of it, but it's optional.

Now, these 4 are my favourite 2001 films:

Spirited Away needs no introduction, it's widely thought as the best Ghibli film, and I love it to bits.

I'm a complete sucker for Moulin Rouge! and for truth! beauty! freedom! love!, and will accept no criticism at this time.

El espinazo del diablo (The Devil's Backbone) is early Guillermo del Toro, and a sort of prelude to Pan's Labyrinth: it's horror, it's set during the Spanish Civil War, and it takes a stance, along with its own supernatural elements.

And I simply adore Hedwig and the Angry Inch (second musical lol). Does that need an introduction, on 2024 tumblr?

Also of interest:

Monster's Ball is the best from the rest, an incredible drama with Halle Berry's best performance. Very disturbing from start to finish. "Billy Bob Thornton plays a prison guard who begins a relationship with a woman (Halle Berry), unaware that she is the widow of a man (Sean Combs) he assisted in executing."

Ocean's Eleven is the fully on-brand film, it pretty much defined what modern American heist films should be like. No small feat!

Das Experiment: so the Stanford experiment inspired some notoriously bad takes, not least by Zimbardo himself. It also inspired this amazing film. Please don't bother with the pointless American remake. (I owe tumblr a serious post about the Stanford experiment btw, but this is not the place.)

The Brotherhood of the Wolf is surely the wackiest AND darkest action / horror / period / swashbukcling / wuxia / monster film out there. We're in 18th century France, there's the legendary beast of Gévaudan, and cults, and spies, and all of the above.

Il mestiere delle armi (The Profession of Arms) is a shoutout to @wearemercs, it's a realistic war film with landsknechts and condottieri in 16th century Italy, we don't see that every day.

@feyariel I remember that Metropolis was wonderful and I loved it, but not much else about it. Sorry, it's been a while and I have shit for memory!

Monsters, Inc.: not best Pixar, but good Pixar

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring: can't leave this one out!

The Man Who Wasn't There: excellent neo-noir by the Cohens

Gosford Park: a whodunit set at an English country house, and the polar opposite of Downton Abbey (which goes at great lengths to convince us that masters deserve their servants' loyalty), ironically written by the same person

Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain (Amélie): here begin the films that were adored back then, especially by the artsy/festival crowd, but I haven't seen them since and I've no idea how they've aged

Ghost World: based on the comic book by Daniel Clowes

Waking Life: Linklater, philosophy, rotoscope, Ethan Hawke's there, oh my!

Y tu mamá también: Alfonso Cuarón, road trips, sex, young Diego Luna, young Gael García Bernal, oh my!

Ichi the Killer: by Takashi Miike, based on Hideo Yamamoto's manga. do not watch this if you're not completely sure you wanna watch this lol

[slocumjoe]

Fallout 4 Companions reactions to Sole taking them to a zoo?

I had to Google "what stuff can you do in zoos" because I've never been to one lol. this is based on the San Diego zoo

Companions at the Zoo

Cait; Goes with X6 and Nick. Huffs with X6 like a pair of moody teenagers. She doesn't enjoy...kid spaces, for lack of a better word, and to Cait, a zoo is a kid space. Very tense for most of it, especially if its crowded. She's gonna enjoy the food than anything else. If there's an Auntie Anne's, that's gonna be her favorite part. The only animals she's likely to take much interest in are the big cats. Eventually, the beauty of the botanical gardens melts her guard down and she has more fun, thinks the aviaries were cool.

Codsworth; Calmly and quietly picking up after litterers, though he makes a note of their appearance to report them. Especially if they litter into the exhibits/habitats. Otherwise, spends a good amount of time at the penguins and capybaras. For activities, goes to presentations and expert talks, especially the ones with demonstrations. Takes so many photos, if permitted. Shoves sweets at Danse to distract him from people littering. Terrified that someone is going to start a fight over it.

Curie; Goes with MacCready and Piper. Any and all garden tours get her attention, loves them all. Will likely befriend the zookeepers and will be mistaken for one by other guests, due to her own wealth of knowledge on animals and plants. Can be found kneeling and explaining things to children wherever she goes. Mac and Piper's kids never have a questioned that isn't answered. Definitely spends some time in the gift shops, gets a bunch of stuff for the others. Her favorite animal...she loves them all, but red pandas are just...so cute...

Danse; if this man is not in a combat zone, he's uncomfortable. This, though...it interests him enough to kind of crack that shell. Attends talks/presentations with Codsworth and Preston. He's taking it as an opportunity to learn, rather than just a fun day out. If someone litters, he's saying something. His sense of justice and morality outweighs his introversion. Codsy and Preston work out a system to keep this from happening, as it's deeply embarrassing for the both of them. Has a soft spot for the servals. Would love the hands-on activities where you can pet the animals.

Deacon; First stop is the gift shop, gets every kind of zoo-branded clothing, redresses in the bathroom. Emerges clad in merchandise propaganda. Redresses multiple times through the day. Will spend his day causing varying degrees of chaos. Does shit like standing by tiger exhibits with his hand low and open, then looks down at it, and gasps, "Annie? Annie, where- ANNIE!" and takes off running. Most likely to get kicked out. Honestly, deserved. Enjoys the bird exhibits, especially the vultures. Weird looking things. Can be identified by the comically large slurpee in his hand.

Gage; Reptile and creepy-crawly exhibits, obviously. Could spend all day just watching the iguanas and komodo dragons. He runs the risk of your average creepy-crawly fan—a rowdy little boy with no filter—asking about the eye patch, so he gets out of there when he notices that he's getting looks and whispered about. Instead, gets most of his entertainment people-watching as he follows Deacon around, curious to see what shit he gets up to. Updates Nick on if he got arrested yet or not. Enjoys himself, likes wandering and sight-seeing, but if asked, will only recount the shit Deacon did.

Hancock; Will stay at the aquarium for a bit and zone out. Watching fish is very zen, mesmerizing. Wanders off to do his own thing. Also would dig the botanical garden tours. Probably has the most normal experience, just wandering around looking at stuff, no real thoughts or information being processed. Likes the sealife exhibits more then the others, admires seals for doing nothing but being fat, sunbathing, and screaming. That's the dream, right there. Goes around sampling from food stands, tries a bit of everything.

MacCready; Duncan's coming, no exception. They tag along with Piper. MacCready is most likely to eat too much and get sick. When he isn't eating ice cream or throwing up, carries Duncan on his shoulders and pointing out the hiding animals. His favorite would be the aerial tours, but enjoyed taking the kids to the playgrounds too. He and Duncan also liked the Down Under exhibit in general, really into the kookaburras. Indulges in the gift shop, gets bashful when Curie insists she pay.

Nick; Trying to enjoy himself, but knows that he's inevitably going to have to bail Deacon out of a cop car. Every time his phone beeps, takes a deep sigh. Keeps Cait and X6 with him just to make sure they behave, them being the problem children. At least Deacon isn't, like, skittish. Prefers the gardens and nature exhibits to the animals, falls in love with the African jungle aviary. Periodically grabs Cait and X6 something to eat, knows that they're more food-motivated then fun-motivated. Aware that they're actually having a good time, but...well, both of them would rather die and admit to simple joy. Could be worse—could be stuck keeping Danse from going mall-cop on everyone.

Piper; Brings Nat, of course. Curies buys them all cat ear headbands and Piper seriously considers adding it to her normal wardrobe. Nat was interested exclusively in the rainforest, and that ended up being Piper's favorite part as well. So many pretty flowers! Also loved the Asian rainforest. Takes a lot of pictures and selfies with Nat. Makes a game for herself of sneaking pictures of the others when they run into each other. Plays "Where's Deacon" and has more fun doing that than anything else.

Preston; Also goes behind and picks up litter, except unlike Danse, won't say anything. Keeps Danse from causing a scene, pulls him away, picks up garbage while Codsworth distracts him. Aside from that, Preston is all about those goats, deer, et cetera. If it's got hooves, he's into it. Really into klipspringers. Attends specialist talks with Codsworth, prefers the more museum-like parts of the zoo. Collects pamphlets. Probably asked to take pictures by other guests, he has a very trustworthy aura. Puts way too much effort into taking good ones.

X6-88; Didn't want to come, was forced to. Boredly follows Nick, grumbles with Cait about how they're too old for this and it's stupid. Secretly ends up enjoying himself but God knows he wouldn't admit it. Spends the whole time snippy. Finds the tiger trail, lagoons, and the Hawaiian gardens genuinely beautiful and soothing. Really liked the turtles. Eats more sugar than MacCready and survives...until much later, when he throws up for, like, ten minutes back home. Curie buys him a panther plushie and puts little/kid-sized sunglasses on it. He adores it far more than he's comfortable with.

[bloodanddiscoballs]

Alright I said I was gonna make a sappy post for my 30th birthday so here it goes!:

I never thought I would live to see 30. I know that many people say that, and I'm sure that sentiment isn't unique on here. Here's the thing; I'm disabled. I have almost died due to my health 3 times since 2011 and indeed did once before being brought back. My immune system is nonexistent, and my chronic pain has me at currently 6 reconstructive back surgeries and round the clock pain medication.

When I was 17 years old, I became a victim of medical malpractice and had my entire life changed in an instant. Didn't get to go off to college, didn't get to work normally, didn't get to move out - didn't, didn't, didn't. For years, I was told that I would heal. That I would be fine. I was young! Young people don't get sick. I'll bounce back. Just be patient. But I didn't get better, I got worse. And every year older was another year into my 20s where I wasn't able to do "the normal stuff." I never finished college, but I did get some classes done. I would work for a few months before needing to quit. I got married and then divorced. All "failures" due to my health.

At 27, I went to see my therapist and sat down and told her that I couldn't see into my future. I remember telling her, "Every day is hell. I can't do this for another 10 years. I've barely made it through this last 10. I don't even know if I can do it for another 3." I was at the end of my rope, convinced that I wouldn't make it. My back was crumbling underneath me again, and insurance was fighting me tooth and nail to be approved for another surgery. I was bedridden. I was on the highest medication load I've taken, and it wasn't even touching my pain. I wasn't connected to anything - not my art, not friends, not the world around me. I was looking very seriously at my options of what I thought was either suffering or dying.

So, she suggested a mindfulness program. It was a 6-week course at UCSD (University of California San Diego) that taught you how to. essentially, live in the moment. At first, I thought it was honestly the stupidest thing I'd ever heard. I'll admit that I was sour on it, but I said I would try it and I paid for the class so I did it. I sat through the meditations, wrote on the topics they gave, went through the exercises they instructed, and did the full day retreat. And at the end of those 6 weeks, I was alive again. I learned to savor every bite of my food. I learned how to pay attention to the sun on my skin. I learned to enjoy how it felt to have my air move in and out of my lungs. I learned how to look in the mirror and love what I saw and dress myself in what made me happy (this is when I started with the disco clothes). The warm feel of skin, the taste of my favorite soda, the beautiful way my cat purrs, the glorious smell of rain, the lovely way dust looks illuminated by the sun - I learned how to Live.

My life is still hard. My pain has not improved. I did get that surgery, so now my back is thankfully more stable than it's ever been. I know that I probably won't live a very long time compared to most, but none of that makes me sad anymore, not really. I have my bad days, and I have my good days, and no matter what, I live in the moment. I feel my emotions and let them have their space within me before letting them flow. And after over a decade of not touching my art because I felt like it was robbed from me, I paint now. I paint for myself, and I paint for others, and by God, I enjoy every second of it. I feed the little barn cats out in the back of where I live now, and I love them. I enjoy the sound of the wind through the oak trees, and I listen to my music, and I take pictures of the bugs. I watch the clouds race by when it's about to storm, and I talk to the flowers that grow outside my fence. I love my bed for holding me on my bad days and love that I have pretty artwork from friends hanging on my walls to comfort me when I can't leave my room. I dress up in my fun disco stuff whenever I can, and on the days I can't, I enjoy my soft, comfy pj's. I talk to my friends online every day and apologize for the days I can't when my pain makes it too hard to think. I play fun video games and watch good movies and enjoy fun podcasts. I Live.

Today, I am 30 years old. I have lived through what should have killed me many times over. And I am so, so happy I am here. And for however long I have, I will continue to live in the moment, enjoying the days and moments I can and allowing the bad to simply be bad. I plan for tomorrow because that is all I can plan for.

I live, and that is enough.

[heatwa-ves]

Wait what is jojos actually about?? Or is there no plot just a bunch of muscular gayboys running around for 1 million seasons?? I have a friend who loves jojos and they keep talking about tarot cards. Also I think they mentioned vampires at one point??

you have opened pandoras box here I'll TRY not to yap endlessly but no promises. jjba follows the joestar family the protagonist of each part are all related and all have a name beginning with jo (or gio. if you're italian) hence jojo. and the first few parts while having some things carry over from previous parts could probably be watched as standalone (tho you HAVE to have seen 1 and 3 in order to watch 6) so. quick summary of each of the parts I've seen (7 out of the 9) (part 9 is ongoing)

part 1 phantom blood (1880s or thereabouts): blonde british bisexual man (dio) is such a bitch ass hater he kills his adopted father becomes a vampire and tries very hard to kill his adopted brother jonathan joestar.

part 2 battle tendency (1920s): jonathan joestars grandson joseph is a beautiful brunette bisexual and he has to kill these four extremely cunty evil guys with the help of another beautiful blonde bisexual who he has a gay little thing going on with

part 3 stardust crusaders (1980s) : stands exist now and it's all dios fault. 100+ years later and he just won't die he's too much of a hater. josephs grandson jotaro goes on a roadtrip from japan all across asia to egypt kicking tarot card themed ass on the way while travelling with the most boring character ever, his xenophobic bisexual grandad, a frenchman with enormous tits and questionable hair, my wife, and a bitch ass dog in order to kill the immortal british blonde bisexual vampire who's ruining everyones life. I don't really like this part or rather I get annoyed thinking about it because it could be good and it isn't but my friend loves it so I guess it's a matter of taste.

part 4 diamond is unbreakable (1999) : prior to the roadtrip joseph (aged sixty something) cheated on his wife with the coolest woman alive and her son is called josuke he's the sweetest boy alive he's my baby brother and I would die for him. there are slice of life hijinks in a weird little japanese town for half this part and a really really good narrative about a kinky serial killer for the second half. joseph adopts an invisible baby he found on the side of the road

part 5 golden wind/vento aureo if you wanna be italian about it (2001) : (my favourite) dios son moved to italy changed his name to giorno giovanna and joined the italian mafia along with the only fictional character I have ever felt genuine desire towards and some other characters I adore. they kick a lot of ass and giorno age 15 becomes the boss of the mafia. it's good I swear

part 6 stone ocean (2011) : (prob my 3rd fav) jotaros daughter jolyne is arrested for a murder she's framed for. she has lesbian hijinks in jail and a priest with an unhealthy obsession with dio the blonde bisexual british vampire (he won't leave us alone) tries his best to kill her because her dad (who she kinda hates and has had nothing to do with in years) killed dio 20 years ago. they escape jail and said priest resets the entire universe. jolyne is one of my favourite characters EVER

part 7 steel ball run (1890) : (my other favourite) johnny joestar an ex jockey meets a random italian man and joins a pan continent horse race from san diego to new york in hopes of regaining his ability to walk. on the way he encounters dios reincarnation (still blonde bisexual and british but a dinosaur now. occasionally) and the corpse of Jesus Christ and kills the president.

[astromechs]

Ship kisses!!! 17. To distract, rebelcaptain? 👀

finally getting to these prompts, like, two weeks later; #writersblock, my nemesis. anyway shoutout to diego luna's headcanons about cassian being a good cook for inspiring this lmao

also on ao3! and still accepting prompts from this list :)

While he's cooking, Cassian only has one rule: Jyn can stay in the kitchenette they've been lucky enough to have installed in their quarters on-base and watch him all she wants, even help if she's so inclined, as long as she isn't a distraction.

It's not as if the process is more dangerous than any variety of others, even with the knives involved, but it requires a certain amount of precision — and therefore, his undivided focus. A split second can mean the difference between the right balance of flavors and a disaster no one could ever stand; now that there's someone eating his cooking aside from himself for the first time in years, that seems more important than ever. Maybe he could swallow something with too much seasoning, but he isn't going to give Jyn anything less than his best effort.

Of course, rules and Jyn don't exactly mesh. Even when she doesn't outright break them, she's always testing them, pushing them to see just how far she can. She has a tendency to stand at his back, to rest her chin on his shoulder (and likely rise up on the balls of her feet, given their height difference) as she watches him toss ingredients together — and to sometimes reach around his waist and sneak in what bites she can. He thinks: she's incorrigible in that way.

It's not a thought that comes with anything but fondness, especially now, when the reliable warmth from her at his back settles over him, too, when, during this one isolated moment in time, everything feels easy. Strangely uncomplicated, no matter the war still ongoing beyond these walls.

He feels her shift, one hand still resting on his shoulder (presumably) for balance as the other snakes around, snatching three cubes of cheese in the blink of an eye.

Turning on his heel, he says, "Jyn." His voice has no bite to it; in fact, its edges are rounded out and soft, a blunted knife allowed to be worn down well beyond its usefulness.

(It’s not so dangerous, he’s come to realize, to let that happen.)

"What?" Even without the slight puff of her cheeks betraying the presence of what she's stolen in her mouth, she's trying just a little too hard to feign innocence for it to be convincing. He lifts a brow, but she stays the course. "I'm being helpful."

Cassian can't help the faint snort that escapes him at that. Truth be told, he can't help a lot of things when it comes to her; he never has been able to, really, not since the day they'd met, but now that's a little easier to admit. With a sidelong glance in her direction, and his mouth just barely turned up at the corners, he tosses back, "Then you can pass me the salt. That would be helpful."

After a noticeable swallow, she exhales an equally noticeable sigh (which Cassian, of course, knows is both intentional and for show), but moves as requested, away from him, briefly, and toward the shelf where he keeps his stock of seasonings and spices. Even if her absence isn't long, and she's back by his side handing over the salt within seconds, any absence of her is long enough to miss.

During the transfer, her hand lingers over his for much longer than it needs, her fingers dragging away from his slowly. Her eyes meet his, unblinking, and his breath catches in his throat. With her hair mussed from the efforts of the day, strands of it escaping her ties, and a hint of mischief on her face that she isn't even bothering to attempt to conceal, he thinks — and not for the first time — that she is the most beautiful sight he's ever seen. And —

Like being locked in a tractor beam, he's helpless to do anything but lean in as she stands on her toes and presses her lips to his.

Everyone in the Alliance knows the fire that burns in Jyn Erso — and if the Empire’s turned a blind eye to it before, they’re certainly not missing it now. What she radiates is bright and brilliant, something that could easily spark out of control without purpose, yet once focused, can keep an entire fight going indefinitely, as far as anyone can tell. But there’s a side of that fire that only he knows, the one reserved exclusively for this room; it’s soft and gentle, and as it spreads between them, it seeps into his bones that creak beyond their years, fills in the cracks that he’s long forgotten. Feels like home.

He tries not to think of it in terms of luck, in terms of what he does or doesn’t deserve. Tries, and fails, ultimately, because the cloud of an unfair exchange will always hang over him, but in moments like this, when she sighs against his mouth as a thumb grazes over his cheekbone, he isn’t thinking at all.

Moments like this, which, of course, aren’t meant to last.

Just at the periphery of his awareness, he picks up on a subtle scent of something just beginning to burn, and so draws himself away from Jyn to turn his focus back to the cooktop. Even if there’s no verbal protest from her as he does, he knows how she’s looking at him without glancing back to confirm: there has to be a knit to her brow, and her mouth has definitely been set in a firm line.

On his own mouth, a smile tugs, visibly, at the corners.

They’re both silent for a time as he stirs, adding one pinch of the salt he’d been handed, and then another. Neither of them are excessively talkative people, so they can exist like this comfortably, but even so, there’s something that lingers in the air between them well beyond the end of the kiss. Something… unfinished.

And in the end, it’s incredibly distracting.

(That’s something that would usually annoy him, being distracted, and would still, coming from anyone else. But since it’s her, it’s different. Just like so much seems to be.)

Flipping the burners down, he shifts his attention back to Jyn easily, wasting no time in taking her into his arms and pulling her close, in returning her fire to him. It settles with no hesitation — as if it’d never left at all. He leans in, says low and hot into her ear:

"Ten minutes to simmer."

The glint in her eyes that flick up to meet his as he pulls his face back tells him that she’s reading him. She always does; they barely even need words to speak at this point. Still, she draws closer, until their lips almost touch, and murmurs, "That's all the time you need, surely."

He slips a hand under her shirt, smile curling into a smirk at the way she gasps as his fingers move over bare skin. The message has been communicated, loud and clear, but he can’t let the challenge go unanswered. "I don't even need that much."

Whatever she has to say to that is lost forever, claimed by his mouth in a searing kiss that she rises to meet.

And so are all his thoughts as he walks them back toward the nearest available surface, except for one: there’s no rule that says dessert can't come first.

[ladykailolu]

Baby Marigold: exists/is Born

Mia Fey: You are the most important thing in the world, and I love you

I wanna talk more about Mama Mia

Mia was made to be a mom. Her look just screams MILF

All she had in the real game was her plant Charley

Now Mia has a real child

She absolute has a framed picture of Marigold when she's a newborn, swaddled in blankets. And that picture is meticulously kept clean on her work desk, right next to the computer screen so she can always be reminded of the love of her life. I can't imagine that Mia wouldn't also have pictures of herself holding Marigold.

And it's those pictures that Marigold discovers when she's much older and treasures almost as much as the magatama her mother gave her.

There's this thing called a hope chest that used to be a physical chest where a mother would store items to be used at her daughter's wedding and to help her keep the home. Nowadays, you can use the hope chest to keep keepsakes, like those porcelain ornaments meant to commemorate a child's birth, or first holiday, etc. So, Mia has a little hope chest of her own of blankets and other knick-knacks to commemorate moments in the first three years of Marigold's life. So when Marigold finds it when she's about 12 years old or so, it's a treasure-trove! The blanket is pretty big for a bed, so she uses it for her own bed for years while she lives with Godot.

Imagine that after a trial, Phoenix steps out of of the courtroom with Marigold in his arms. When Mia sees them, she rushes over, her eyes trained on Marigold as if she was hurt or lonely. Marigold was neither, and she brightened up anyway as Mia's approach, arms outstretch, childish voice chanting "up! up!" So Mia gingerly takes Marigold from Phoenix's arms.

Marigold always had difficulty sleeping, except for when she was a newborn. So often, Mia would hold her and rock her to sleep while she poured over notes for the next trial. When Marigold is 3 years old, Mia gently lays her down in her bed and tucks the blankets up to her chin. Of course, Marigold still can't sleep, so Mia reads her story after story, nodding off and fighting sleep herself. She's got more planning to do for this trial, so she can't sleep yet!

It was funny how much Marigold was like her father, even at this age and without ever meeting him properly. Diego had problems getting to sleep too. It had to have been all the coffee. Mia twice not-so-subtly offered the idea of detoxing, and Diego shot her down both times. He won't even settle for decaffeinated coffee. Who knew that his night-owl genes would pass along to their daughter? If that's true then Mia's sure that Marigold would be just as addicted to coffee as Diego as soon as she takes her first sip.

Imagine that in the winter, Phoenix and Mia go on a stroll in a frosty park (let's say it gets cold where they live lol), and Mia pushes Marigold along in a stroller. WELL! It took them like an hour to even leave the office because Mia had to dress Marigold up in a sweater, a coat with a hoodie, a hat, gloves, a scarf, and wrapped her in a blanket as she sits in her stroller. She looked like a little queen! Perhaps it was a little over-the-top, but Phoenix isn't gonna stand in the way of a very concerned Mama Mia.

And lastly, Godot reads all the letters Mia wrote for him, intending to share them with him when he woke up. Those letters contained the stories of the little moments in Marigold's life that most people would pass over, but only her parents would see. And they're told from the perspective of Mia. The moment of Marigold's birth and how Mia thought she was the most beautiful thing to ever exist. The day when Mia brought Marigold home and showed her everything. Playing with Marigold. Showing Marigold the beach and snow for the first time. Marigold taking her first steps. Mia subsequently chasing Marigold around the house before she goes tumbling down the steps. Marigold squirming around and babbling and just being cute! Marigold saying her first word, creating her first drawing, reading her first book. Marigold's nasty habit of not getting to sleep until way past her bedtime. All the little knick-knacks that she saved for Marigold. How much she misses him and wishes that she could be there to see all of this happen (and the ink here is a little smudged, suggesting that liquid contacted the paper. Was she crying?). The days that Marigold first said "dada" and "mama".

It's more than enough to make Godot cry. He reads those letters carefully, one after the other, in a dark room illuminated by the red light of his visor.

...

...

...

...In the witch!AU, for the first three years of Marigold's life, Diego got to experience these moments with Mia. While Marigold still had trouble sleeping, Diego could put her to sleep at ease with his magic. And he was there when she took her first steps, said her first word, called them "papi" and "mami". He was there for all of it during those three years until the incident happened. Fast forward 9 years, and Godot is shocked to find Marigold so grown up, and so beautiful like her mother. It's like Mia lives on in Marigold, the girl's existence is a gentle reminder of the love Mia had for Godot.

[ryverbind]

Faceless Fixation {Sal Fisher}: Prologue

"Move, move, move!"

I left the awful, deteriorating city of Nockfell when I was ten years old. It was worth it-- I've always said that. I had nothing in that town; the population went down each day and hell, it was starting to look like I'd die there too.

I had to leave all of my friends behind, but at least we kept in touch. I only had three friends, anyway. Being able to keep those three around meant more to me than the fear of moving to a bigger city. Nothing was scary as long as I had my few friends.

"I'm trying! This guy in front of me is being stupid!"

Moving didn't mean much at the time, but it did leave me very lonely. Both of my parents were and still are workaholics, so I grew up pretty alone. Well, I did until mom and dad got divorced.

I think mom was the driving force behind dad's need to work so much. She was a drama queen.

Dad and I live in the heart of Los Angeles now. We moved here from San Diego just last year. He has his normal job that makes enough-- otherwise we wouldn't be in such a big city-- but making enough isn't always... enough over here.

"Go around him maybe!?"

But I've learned to work around that. Dad has, too. I have a mediocre job at a diner to pay for expenses and to help with some at-home things.

After all, life in one of America's most famous-- and most expensive-- city's won't pay for itself.

"Shut up, Ash! Fuck, why won't this person just move!?"

Though, I wish there was something I could do to make more money. Something to give me more freedom instead of being cramped in dad and I's little apartment. Something easier than breaking my back for pissy customers that won't even tip.

Honestly, I want something easier for me and dad.

And still, I find myself sitting in front of the TV in my living room-- mint chocolate chip ice cream in my hand as I watch my childhood friend fuck shit up on her most recent Youtube video.

The best part about this small, suffocating apartment is that it's on one of the highest floors. Sure, I have quite the elevator ride to take when I come home and sometimes I'm late to work because I miscalculate the time it'll take me to get down to the bottom floor-- but it's so worth it.

Our balcony doors are cracked open, the curtains pulled away to show the busy streets of Los Angeles below. The city is a beauty, that's for sure. The sun and headlights are always reflecting off of the tall, glass buildings which make for quite the light show-- and I have free tickets.

Early morning light filters into my dim living room. A stray golden ray forms a rift in the drab darkness of the rest of the room, illuminating a stripe across the back of the couch, across my legs, and then all the way to the other end of the room. I take note of dust that seems to float on the small stream of light as I redirect my focus from the Youtube video that's currently playing.

This apartment can only get so dark. When I say dim, it's still pretty bright. Our apartment is like any modern apartment-- it's new and filled with neutral colors, making it seem bright and inviting. Our walls are an eggshell white color. Our furniture is a mix of beige and black fabric, never leather because dad hates the feeling of it. And any wooden furniture is black, as well as our carpet.

It's simple, modern, sleek. It's everything a Los Angeles resident could want.

Right?

"Dammit, Sally! You cost us that entire game!"

My best friend's shrill scream pulls my attention back to the television. I see her face in the bottom left corner, her brows furrowed and mouth wide open in a mixture of shock and anger. Her cheeks turn a rosy shade as she begins scolding the guy in the mask at the top right of the screen.

They're playing Call of Duty.

"All you had to do was move around the glitched dumbass, are you kidding me?" Ash bellows. "How long have you been playing this game? I thought you were the pro. Give me my fucking crown."

Sally Face, the guy in the mask, or as he calls it, a prosthetic, snorts into the microphone. His head bobs with laughter, showing that he finds Ash's anger quite amusing. "Ash, if I could have moved around the guy, I would have. I was glitched, too." He pushes a veiny hand through his pretty hair. "I will never revoke my crown."

Sally Face is confusing in my brain. He has unnatural, bright cerulean hair. It's fluffy and full of layers, creating a pretty interesting texture to accompany the fringe that always hangs over his prosthetic.

His style is a contrast to his blue hair— dark, mainly all black clothing. He's always wearing either a plethora of different necklaces or just one that no one has ever seen before. He has chipped, black nail polish— no matter how many times he streams, it's always the same. I've never seen a fresh coat on his nails.

My favorite, and undoubtedly the most distracting, part about him happens to be the rings and bracelets he wears. He has plenty, much like his necklaces. Most times, Sally Face is wearing the same wrap-around snake ring with a black finish and a silver one with unique carvings and a garnet gem. He has a ton of cute fan-made bracelets that say different things, like "Cogito Ergo Sum" and "SF."

And he has this accent, a very attractive one. It's not too strong and I can't put my finger on what kind of accent it is, but I find myself holding onto his every word. There's just something about the way he articulates certain sounds.

Not like I'd admit it, but sometimes I rewind a YouTube video just to hear the way he says "water" or "coffee" again.

Is that down bad-ish of me?

Larry catches my attention, effectively dragging me back to earth from my simping thoughts. His face is in the top left corner of the screen; he pinches his lips together and shakes his head. "Will you two stop bickering? It's just a game," he says, shifting in his chair to get into a more comfortable position.

"Who stole Larry? Because you are not him," Todd's voice cuts in just as Larry finishes speaking. His face is in the bottom right corner. "You're supposed to be the shit-starter, not the shit-stopper," Todd continues, chuckling.

Larry snorts. "Maybe I'm just feeling different today. Ever thought of that, Todd? Huh?"

"You guys are insufferable," Ash scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest. She leans back in her chair, showing off her headset. It's super cute with little cat ears that change colors. "I'm taking away friend rights. I'm all for y/n now."

I perk up at the mention of my name. She never talks about me online-- not that I blame her. We agreed to pretty much keep our friendship private.

"Awe, come on, Ash," Larry whines, pouting at the camera. "We have to share y/n, and besides, we love you. You have to take care of us, mom," he jokes.

"Y/n is mine, thank you very much," Ash chirps, smiling wickedly. "And, for your information, I am not your mother so I can very easily dip out of your life."

"Fuck, it's like my dad all over again," Larry says. Everyone is silent, suddenly afraid to say a word as Larry's dad is a sore subject. But Larry starts giggling at his own joke.

"Stop making fun of such a serious situation, Larry," Todd says, holding back little giggles. "I'll go to hell if I laugh. Don't do this to me."

"Ash practically set up the entire joke, Larry just took advantage of the opportunity," Sally Face says, a pretty chuckle leaving his mouth. "But anyway, who's y/n?"

"Oh, shit." Ash slaps a hand over her mouth. "I completely forgot that I mentioned her. I was hoping I'd keep her a secret forever."

I tilt my head, my eyes narrowing as I watch the screen. All four of their characters are idle in the game lobby as they chat with each other.

Shoving a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth, I start to wonder if Ash, Larry, and Todd just... never bothered to mention me to Sally.

As far as I know, Sally Face moved to Nockfell long after I left. He became friends with my friends but I never met him. I never spoke to him. I had heard of him, but I just never bothered to reach out and get to know him.

Just two years ago, at the ripe ages of 21 and 22, the four of them decided to try streaming as a way to make money since there were only so may job opportunities in Nockfell. And wouldn't you know, the group went viral almost immediately.

Larry and Todd are the clowns, Ash is the pretty one with a temper, and Sally Face is the mysterious asshole. Viewers want a face reveal from him so bad and that's exactly why he became the most popular streamer out of the four.

Larry and Todd have about two million subscribers and followers, Ash is nearing 2.5 million, and Sally is at a whopping 3.5 million. They're pretty big.

So, my favorite pass-time is getting to watch all of them play. But today's video is extra spicy.

"We were so busy gatekeeping y/n that we couldn't even tell Sally?" Todd asks, a bit confused. "You know, now that I'm thinking about it-- I really don't think we ever mentioned her."

Larry hums, looking off to the side as he thinks. He chews on his bottom lip, tapping his finger against the armrest of his chair. "I've thought it out," he mumbles after a few moments. "I have no recollection of ever mentioning y/n."

Ash laughs shortly, shaking her head with a soft smile. "Damn. I guess we did a good job at keeping her a secret then."

Sally groans, leaning closer so we can clearly see his left eye in the screen. It's the most striking blue color I think I've ever seen. "Who the fuck is y/n?" He whispers, the microphone right against his prosthetic as he says it. This makes the whisper sound like a scream and, as a result, the other three jump in surprise.

"You don't get to know y/n, she's ours," Larry jokes, sticking his tongue out to tease Sally.

"Okay, fine." Sally backs up, his pretty hands gripping onto the armrests of his chair. He's wearing a black, long-sleeved shirt and a chain around his neck. His nails are painted black and multiple rings adorn his fingers— as per usual. "But is she hot?"

I choke on my bite of ice cream, spluttering pale green all over my dad's black carpet. The thought of staining his beloved carpet doesn't even cross my mind as I stare at the screen with wide eyes, watching as Sally Face waits patiently for his friends to recover from their surprised laughter.

"What's so funny?" Sally asks calmly, electric eyes flitting back and forth across the screen.

Larry takes a deep breath, one last laugh leaving him as he places a hand on his heart. "Bro, I can't even lie. I had the biggest crush on her whenever I knew her. She left a couple years before you came along." Larry winces, like he's just remembering that his millions of viewers will be seeing this video-- including me. "Sorry if you're watching this, y/n. I promise I'm over it but anyone can see that you're adorable." He shrugs, winking at the camera.

I let out an obnoxious laugh, a smile forming on my lips as I continue watching. Larry has always been hilarious, though I never knew he had a crush on me.

Todd closes his left eye, a little quirk of his. He always does this when he's thinking. "Well," he sighs, tapping his index finger against his arm. "She's beautiful, I'll say that. But I'm gay, so like, I'm not Larry. I've never wanted to fuck her. Unlike someone, apparently."

Larry shoots forward, a serious expression on his face as he starts yelling out to defend himself. "Fuck off, Todd! I never said I wanted to fuck her, I just said I had a crush on her! She's hot!"

This has gotten a bit crazy. When I sat down to watch this video after Ash begged me to put it on earlier, I expected to giggle a bit and relax on my one off-day of the week. I didn't expect to be hearing about famous streamers, who are also my friends, wanting to dick me down.

I feel like I've just worked a double shift.

I place my melting carton of ice cream on the wooden floor at the foot of the couch, my eyes never straying from the TV screen as I watch Larry and Todd bicker.

Ash and Sally watch, seemingly just as horrified as I am.

After a couple seconds, Larry runs a hand down his face, sighing as he listens to Todd get a good laugh out of the situation.

"Okay," Sally awkwardly drags out the word. "So we have one vote for hot, one vote for beautiful. What's your opinion of the mysterious y/n, Ash?"

Ash hums, smiling brightly. "I vote both. Y/n is the hottest and most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

Sally Face nods his head and I smile. Ash has always been so kind to me, though I think she, Larry, and Todd are hyping my looks up a bit too much. I'm not the hottest or the most beautiful.

"So the important question now, Ash, is would you fuck y/n?" Sally asks. What a dick.

I scoff at the screen, scrunching my face up. He knows that we're all close, clearly. Todd and Larry joking with each other about his crush is all in good fun, but the tone in Sally's voice shows that he's trying to start shit.

Ash narrows her eyes, "Yes, actually, I would."

I pause the video, my smile so wide that it genuinely hurts. I debate calling Ash for a moment just to give her a little smooch through the phone and tell her how much I love her. But I can always call her later. There's only two minutes left of the video anyway.

Larry chortles, Todd following with a very similar sign of amusement.

Sally nods, humming again. "Okay. Two points for hot, two points for beautiful. Those ratings are pretty good."

He pauses, lifting a hand and suddenly waving them off dismissively. "But you guys have terrible taste, so I doubt she lives up to the hype you guys gave her."

What the fuck did he just say?

I shoot up into a sitting position, scooting toward the edge of the couch with my jaw dragging along the fabric. Did I hear that correctly?

Sally looks into the camera. I feel like he's staring me directly in the eye, a sarcastic and cocky look in his gaze as he says, "Sorry, Y/n Whoever-You-Are."

Come again?

—————————

A/N:::::

I don't have much planned for this book just yet, but most of you know what I'm about. Expect angst, expect comedy, and most of all, EXPECT SPICE!

THIS IS JUST A PROLOGUE TO GIVE EVERYONE A TASTE AND I WILL NOT BE UPDATING AGAIN UNTIL I AM FINISHED WITH MY OTHER BOOK!

Sorry for the caps, just wanna make it loud and out there :P

As always, I love you all so much and I'm so excited to start this new, lovely journey with you guys :3

~Ryver <3

[taylortruther]

Who is your favorite painter? I’m usually not someone who gets emotional by paintings but I saw photos of paintings by Gustav Klimt and for some reason it made me so emotional which is odd because that never happens before.

Also if he’s some super awful person, I have no idea. I literally did zero research on him. I just happened to stumble on a photo of ‘ the kiss’ and I had a visceral reaction to it. And then I went and looked at more of his work. It also shows how little I know about art because I’ve been on the planet way too long to have never seen that painting before 💀

omg klimt is one of my favorite painters!! i have a tag just for him (see below)!! oh i love that you had such a strong reaction to him, that's what art is all about!!!!!!!!! i love his portraits, especially judith, but truthfully every klimt is a treat to admire.

i love mucha, because i once saw a theater production of romeo & juliet and the poster was done in his style. i love the way he paints hair, but i also just love that so much of his art is accessible. like, they're beautiful, but he was also illustrating advertising campaigns!

john singer sargent - especially for rosina, capri girl on a rooftop, and his murals in the boston museum of fine art.

frida kahlo, because her command of color and symbolism is just amazing. as an artist and subject, i find her breathtaking. and i feel seen by her mustache and unibrow and the fact that she was so fiercely proud. and this isn't her art, but this photo of her and diego rivera (don't lecture me about their relationship, i know) is one of my favorite photographs in the world. i also just learned about alice rohan, who has kind of a similar place in mexican art, i think? and i also enjoy her.

vermeer, especially for girl with a pearl earing (which i initially learned about from the movie lmao), but the things people say about his control over light and color is just... true. it's incredible given the time. also, the intrigue over the stories behind his paintings really captures the imagination further (uh oh, i have a parasocial relationship with a 1600s dutch master!)

i have recently started loving marlene dumas, who comments a lot on current events/pop culture. her portraits are somehow subtle and grotesque and make me want to keep looking at them.

and i feel the same way about jenny saville - she makes bodies and faces look so beautiful and terrible and fascinating. it feels very REAL. the weight and warmth and blood in all our bodies feels tangible when i look at her art. (these might be nsfw) closed contact?? prop?? magnificent.

i love looking and pondering over joseph cornell's art boxes. i don't know if i *get* them, but i love them. also he's not a painter but whatever.

and for very modern, i enjoy robin isely and fumi nakamura and their work with wolves especially.