#it had to happen

[steviesbicrisis]

OKAY HERE I AM WITH STEDDIE/EUROVISION BRAINROT

Somehow Corroded Coffin is asked to represent Australia and they are like "European gay extravaganza for a whole week? Sign me the fuck up". And Eddie is in love at first sight with Stefano, the Italian representative for their year, but he doesn't know how to approach him since he only speaks Italian.

Cue to two weeks of rehearsal where Eddie sends him flowers/other gifts to his changing room with poorly-google-translated Italian messages and downloads Duolingo in hopes he turns out to be a linguistic prodigy.

It's only during the Carpet that he realizes, by listening to Stefano talk with the press, that not only he speaks perfect English, but he also has double Italian/American citizenship and his actual name is Steve.

"So Steve, do you have any Eurovision crushes?" is the last question.

"Oh, I have my eyes on Australia, I'll leave it up to you to guess which one of them is it" he winks at the camera and goes away.

More brainrot here

[uselessthebroccoli]

I am not sorry

[buckysimp101]

Everything the Light Touches (18+)- Chapter Eighteen

Mafia!Bucky x F!Reader

chapter warnings: fluff, angst, violence

Series Masterlist 

Bucky’s lips were tingling. Fucking tingling from that kiss in front of his family and friends. A part of him had almost forgotten what it was like to kiss you, your last one having been only a week ago. But he hadn’t forgotten what it was like to hold you in his arms. The warmth of your body against his days ago when you’d thrown yourself into his arms, wrapped him into your embrace to thank him for getting Wanda to you in time for the wedding. 

Ever since the combination bachelor and bachelorette party, Bucky’s brain had been in a fog, one that hadn’t seemed to lift until the doors opened to reveal you in a white dress on the arm of Tony Stark, making your way down the aisle towards him. There was a part of Bucky that was so thrilled to see you, a part of him that preened at the fact that his lifelong dreams, that he’d long since deemed unattainable, had come true. But those hopes and feelings were doused with a cool bucket of guilt and regret as he remembered everything that had led the two of you to this moment. 

So he offered you a small smile, held your hand when he was supposed to and slid that ring onto your finger before pressing a kiss onto your lips, hoping they’d be able to provide all the words he couldn’t say, publicly claiming you in front of the world. You’d both walked away from the altar in a daze and it wasn’t until the photographer began gathering your friends around for pictures that either of you spoke.

“James…are you okay?” You breathed the words, almost as if you were afraid to hear the answer. And for once in his life, Bucky was completely unsure of how to respond. So he said and did the first thing that he could think of. He slid his hand to yours and intertwined your fingers before whispering. 

“I am so sorry, sweet girl.”

He heard the hitch in your breathing and dared to look at your eyes, the tears swimming there as you took in your husband and he took in his wife. 

His wife.

A dream that was made possible by everything going to absolute shit. A dream that would swiftly become a nightmare.

He raised his thumb to lightly wipe away the tears that had formed on your lashes and he thought he felt your body relax into his, if only a little bit, before he turned back around.

“Thank you, Bucky. For saving my life. I don’t believe I’ve thanked you for that yet. I’ve blamed you. Time and time again. For more years than I care to count. But I know you’re putting your life on the line to save me too and I just…needed you to know that.” 

Your words were soft but intentional and Bucky could practically feel the emotion oozing out of your words. But he couldn’t respond. Couldn’t reply. A part of Bucky that knew you well, and had always known you, kept him quiet but urged him to hold your hand and give you a comforting squeeze before the pair of you were swept up in the craziness of the wedding reception before you.

Tony was the first of the family to approach the two of you and as he approached Bucky with fire and fury blazing in his eyes he stuck out his hand, Bucky accepting, and whispered with an intensity that would put Natasha to shame, “so help me, Barnes, do not make me regret this.”

Bucky gave Tony a short nod and a swift pump of his hand as the billionaire turned to sweep you into a hug, Pepper not far behind. As more family and friends approached the two of you, it turned into a receiving line, allowing the two of you to greet your guests as they were plied with food and drink and music began to start up in the hall. Bucky’s parents gave him a tight squeeze of a hug as they whispered good tidings to the two of you, and the people just kept coming. And coming. And coming. And while the family and friends had been in the front of the line, the back of the line was full of acquaintances, both legitimate  and non, that wanted a look at the couple who would be taking Manhattan by storm. The couple that had essentially started a war.

He heard the whisperings of someone as they walked past the two of you stating, “she must be pregnant… you don’t leave someone, come back after ten years and get married immediately. She was cheating on Stinson with him, she’s got his child inside her and she’s trying not to be cast away like last week’s leftovers. When that’s all she’s good for.” 

Bucky loosed a low growl and was two seconds away from stalking after the woman who’d spoken the words when the woman behind her shushed her before hissing, “they are in love and always have been. Why are you even here if you’re so ungrateful and spewing such lies and faith,” before stomping away towards the bar. Bucky made a mental note to thank her at some point during the night. 

He felt a finger tap his wrist before realizing it was you trying to calm him down. He could tell by the look on your face you’d heard the words they had said but before he could assure you that he’d take care of you you shook your head and whispered, “it’s not worth it. They’re not worth it,” before clearing your throat and looping your arm into Bucky’s and speaking a little louder, “come, husband, let’s get a drink before we dance all night.”

Bucky swore he felt his heart float out of his chest at your statement, but he didn’t comment on it. He merely led you to the bar to get the night started. 

It wasn’t long that the music for your first dance was starting and Bucky was leading the two of you to the dance floor as the chords to Jason Mary’s “I Won’t Give Up” began playing through the venue hall. Bucky’s hand was reaching, almost tentative, but you put a stop to that as you gently took his hand into yours and moved his other to sit on your waist as you laid your head on his chest and the two of you began to sway together to the music.

Your bubble was silent for a moment as the two of you took in the closeness, the proximity, the seriousness of the events of the day. And when you removed your head from his chest to look in his eyes Bucky felt his world fall apart and click back into place. You were his life. You were always his life. And nobody could take that away from him.

In that glance it was as if a moment of silent understanding passed between the two of you. A moment that felt more serious than anything you’d done so far on this momentous day. A look that said he’d burn the world down for you. And you’d let him.

Your stomach had been rolling all night out of fear of what you and Bucky had just done. Not the action itself, but what it truly meant and what it would bring. Wanda and Natasha had seen the look in your eye and had been steadily plying you with alcohol throughout the night while Bucky made sure you had food on your stomach and offered you bites of food whenever you would take a break.

You had danced with Tony and Bucky had danced with Winnie, each dance drawing tears to everyone’s eyes. You had the chance to thank Tony for his protection and his love over the years and you made him promise to let you visit whenever you wanted. He’d sworn he’d never revoke your privileges and that he expected to see his daughter all the time. Even if you did work together daily. 

That had earned him a light hearted punch to the gut.

The night was beginning to calm down a little more and the toasts had started. Steve had given his best man speech as he relayed stories of the three of you in your childhood, stories specifically meant to bring a blush to you and your new husbands’ cheeks.

Your husband. James Buchanan Barnes was your husband. Of all the things you thought could happen when you came back to New York this hadn’t even made the list. And while the reason behind your marriage was glaringly obvious to you, you couldn’t help but bask in the feeling of warmth that wracked your body as you chanced a look at your husband.

Bucky was gorgeous, albeit a bit sweaty after dancing and charming people for the last couple hours, you could see where his hand had been run through his hair a number of times, his nervous habit. He was laughing at a story Wanda was telling, likely an embarrassing one from your college days, his blue eyes twinkling with laughter. Bucky pulled his hand from your grip to clap for Wanda’s toast and raise his drink in response, leading you to do the same. The laughter in the room began to quiet down as George Barnes took hold of the microphone, catching the attention of everyone in the room.

“Twenty years ago, this beautiful young woman came into our lives. And I knew that day that she’d change the world. That she’d change my life. My wife’s life. My son’s. You see, having a son is great and all and while he’s definitely done some things that have been silly at times and downright foolish at others,” he spoke with a knowing look in Bucky’s direction causing chuckles to abound in the room, most of them unaware about the latent heat sparking in the elder Barnes’ gaze, before he continued, “but the one thing he did right, was love this young woman with all his heart. Y/N, Winnie and I have never been more happy than today. Never more happy than to welcome you into our family. You’ve been a Barnes far longer than just today. And I am so happy to call you my daughter. We love you, sweet girl. And we just hope you’ll keep that son of ours in line.” His words were spoken with a sincerity that brought tears to your eyes and had Bucky clearing his throat and sniffling slightly. There were easy chuckles throughout the room as everyone lifted their glasses to toast alongside George.

“To my children. May their lives be one of protection, true love, and strength.”

The tears spilled over. You drank your champagne. And the music started back up yet again. 

You watched George make his way over to where you and Bucky were sitting as he extended his hand in your direction. “Mind if I share a dance with the most beautiful woman in the room?” His eyes were twinkling under the dance floor lighting and you heard Bucky chuckled behind you as he loosened his arm from around your waist, letting you follow George to the dance floor. 

“Don’t say that too loud, Mr. Barnes. Winnie’s around here somewhere waiting for you to misstep,” you teased, causing the older man to bark out a laugh as he spun you out onto the dance floor, teasing a laugh from you as well.

“She knows as well as I that she will always be the most beautiful woman in my life. But nothing compares to a bride on her wedding day,” his voice had softened as had the look in his eyes as the two of you danced slowly on the dance floor. For a brief moment you swore you saw the welling of tears in his eyes as the reality of the day sunk in.

“I’m sorry that this was forced on you, sweetheart. But I do hope you understand that it was the only way to help.”

You nodded, ready to tell him that you understood, that it would be okay, but he continued, “I will say, I always expected that when my son married it would be to you. Just never under these circumstances. But that boy loves you,” you inhaled a sharp gasp, your eyes flaring as you took in the words that George was saying. Loves. Present tense, not past. That was intentional. But before you could even speak, again, he spoke up, “he might not admit it, he’s probably not ready to admit it. But he never stopped loving you. And if this sham of a  marriage shows him anything, I hope it shows him how wrong he was to hurt you. And how disastrous it would be to lose you forever.”

It was your turn to well up with tears and you opened and closed your mouth, the words you wanted to say evading you as George pulled you in close for a hug and to press a kiss to your forehead. “I’ve never been happier to have a daughter in my life.”

The tears fell. 

George’s confession sinking in your stomach like a lead weight. Your brain taking the time to really take in the words he’d spoken. The words that would swirl in your brain, your heart, your stomach, until you were ready to deal with them. 

People slowly began to filter out of the reception hall as the night came closer and closer to an end. Wanda had left not long before to go back to her hotel room and prepare to head back to California the next day. While the two of you were getting ready that morning you’d almost begged her to stay an extra day but she’d teased up and told you how much she missed her boys before promising you to spend time together while you visited with Bucky in just a few weeks.

Tony and Pepper hadn’t been far behind Wanda and now the only people left were you and Bucky, George and Winnie and Steve and Natasha as men scrambled to get cars ready.

You hadn’t planned for a fancy send off and you exited the hall with Bucky’s arm draped lightly around your shoulder as his mother babbled on about the gossip she’d heard regarding some woman who was cheating on some man and how it was ‘absolutely scandalous darling.’

“Sweet girl you looked absolutely breath taking tonight, didn’t she just take your breath away, James?” You could tell Winnie was baiting Bucky but he seemed just fine to fall into the trap as he responded with a touch of a growl.

“Absolutely stunning.”

Your breath had hitched yet again and the place where his arm touched you had your bare skin igniting in flames. 

“Yes yes Winnie dear we know she was beautiful, no star has ever shined brighter. A regular Barnes family princess,” George grumbled as exhaustion began to seep into his features. You heard Bucky huff out a laugh causing you to face him to question what was so funny.

You saw the grin playing on his lips and opened your mouth to question him, when all of a sudden that grin dropped as fast as it had appeared, his eyes widening and his mouth opening to shout.

“GET DOWN!”

It all happened in a blink of an eye. Shouts erupted around you as loud pops sounded on the street. Your knees hit the ground before you could even gather your wits and you felt the physical presence of Bucky surrounding you as the sound of loud pops and screams reverberated through your bones. As fast as everything had been, Bucky had managed to slam you to the ground and reach for his gun as the gunmen had approached from out of nowhere. And his father had done the same. He threw Winnie to the ground next to you and proceeded to shoot at the approaching men, Steve and Natasha joining in as fast as they could. You could hear their shouts. A loud scuffle of feet as people ran. And then there was the squealing of car tires followed by a brief silence, accompanied by the sound of ringing in your ears.

A silence and ringing that ended in a heart-shattering, gut-wrenching wail. 

A wail that would haunt you for the rest of your days.

The wail of a widow.

As Winnifred Barnes sobbed over the corpse of her husband. His blood covering your wedding dress and her hands.

The war had started. And it had claimed its first victim.

a/n: i am sorry. i am so, so sorry.

taglist:

@youlightmeupfinn​

@la-undercover-latina​ 

@niki-is-a-thing​

@gloriouspurpose01​

@wintasssoldier​

@crazyunsexycool​

@the-fool-who-jingled

@missvelvetsstuff​

@enchantedbarnes​

@asoftie4bucky​

@luvrsbian​ 

@snufflet​

@some-lovely-day​

@mochie85​ 

@fangirlvoice​

@juulle987​

@fab-notfat​

@jackiehollanderr​ 

@hallecarey1​

@sherlockstrangewolf​ 

@lokisasgardianvampirequeen​

@tripletstephaniescp​

@potatothots​

@desert-fern​

@dhoruwolfie​

@emmabarnes​ 

@sky0401​

@broadwaybabe18​

@thebuckybarnesvault​

@wallace02sblog 

@youngblood199456​

@a-small-blue-nebula​

@elizacusi-blog​

@justlovelifeblog​

@sebsgirl71479​

@vickie5446​

@openup-yourmind​ 

@mimsie95

@kaitswrld​ 

@taylorspinkstripedsweater​

@eris-rose-86​

@goldenharrysworld​

@onlyferorder66​

@julieeba 

@ayyeitssarahh​

@d3m0n8ch1ld​

@sebastianstansqueen​

@not-another-fangirl​

@thesneakylittleminx​

@thebunkerismyhome​

[this-cult-of-dionysus]

finished MAG200, made this on my bedroom floor at 4:38am

[hvemind]

NERO. PUSHED. HIS. WIFE. DOWN. THE. STAIRS.

[triruntu]

#469, a brush bronzewing for @oniongrass.

Requests for birds are open, updates happen on Thursdays. [project tag] | [kofi] [commissions] Find me on: [twitter]

[giggly-squiggily]

Spontaneous Headcanon #24

Okay- here me out. I know there’s only two available episodes of Buddy Daddies and I know we’re still super early in the show but I had this cute idea and now I wanna share it with you all.

Under the cut for length and also potential spoilers for Buddy Daddies! I’m gonna try to keep it Spoiler free though :D

Also TW: for gun imagery for one of the images!

So Rei Suwa

My Husband. I have a weakness for tired brunettes A man of Duality. No matter what the occasion is, he’s always wearing that same neutral if not somewhat apathetic expression.

Miri- sweetheart, and absolute bean of a 4 year old- starts to notice this no matter how Rei’s feeling. He always looks so tired and just...yeah. One day she turns to Kazuki like: “Papa Rei looks sad.”

Kazuki’s about to explain to her that he’s not sad, that’s just his face but then he starts to think about it and is just ‘...Have I ever seen Rei actually smile?’ The answer is yes, only in very...extreme circumstances.

Now he’s looking at Rei who’s spacing out at the table with his coffee, thinking if he should do what he’s thinking of doing. There’s a highkey chance he’ll get evicted; the threat of being kicked out has been a common theme in any and all attempts Kazuki’s done in the past. (At one point a knife was drawn- Kazuki had no idea where Rei even hid it. No one was stabbed.)

At the same time though...Rei never actually went through with said threats in the past four years they’ve been living together...and frankly- he kinda needed Kazuki to survive. (The man can’t cook and his sleeping habits are...odd- he kinda needs someone to watch over him.) Plus they’re partners in work so he should be fine right?

Also they have Miri now. That might soften the blow?

Now Kazuki’s gears are turning, he turns to Miri and does a exaggerated “Shhh” Gesture before beginning his slow ascent towards the unsuspecting man. Miri is giggling like a goon, but Rei’s used to it so he doesn’t think much of the matter.

“If you tickle me, you die.”

Okay- maybe he’s more suspecting afterall. So much for stealth.

Kazuki and Miri look at eachother. Then they look at Rei. Then they both silently decide they had lived a good life (or at least- Kazuki decides that) before both pounce on the tired man, Kazuki going right for the armpits while Miri’s kinda bouncing beside them, cheering him on.

And Rei finally, finally laughs! And it’s a pretty one too- lots of soft huffs of laughter and snickers. He’s trying not to curse out Kazuki because Miri’s literally right there. Now he can’t even fight back because she decided she wanted to be up close to the action and crawls into his lap, her own little hands tickling him too. He’s been effectively trapped!

“Haha, We got you now, Rei!”

“Hehe, Papa Rei’s laugh is funny!”

By the time they let him breathe, he’s flushed faced with his head against the table, arms pressing tightly into his sides as Kazuki and Miri do their celebratory victory dance.

Until Rei sits up with the scariest look in his eyes. The look he reserves for jobs involving hunting down bad guys. “Run.” Is all he says.

Miri and Kazuki are GONE. It becomes an impromptu game of hide and seek only if Rei finds you you’re getting tickled to near death (reserved for Kazuki. Miri gets more gentle tickles and the option to hunt down her papa).

[scorndotexe]

you can have a fucked up codependent dynamic with someone without even having mouths to say fucked up things to each other, just look at scorn guy and his parasite

[ghost-party]

Good morning. I’m not okay. 🥲

[hanasnx]

just got back from filling the library of congress with anakin skywalker porn. what y’all been up to

[splynter]

@basilthymee GIT GOT

NRD meeting the twins :D

[psqqa]

this one’s specifically for all my years in the khr fandom. spaghetti alle vongole:

[tavners]

See? Fine. He’s perfectly okay and fine and we love Rick Flag. 😋

[beemango5]

Yk I had to do it to em

[slumberpcrty]

♡ plot: big, tall, strong, daddy halsin keeps trying to resist his carnal desires bc he really cares for them and he wanted to engage with them when the time is right, but it keeps seeming like that time grows ever nearer. ♡ muse: halsin . 40s-appearing . pleasure dom . very tall and very broad . protective . kind . compassionate . ♡ kinks: cunnilingus, daddy kink, exhibitionism, mutual masturbation, overstimulation, size difference

" —— please , i wouldn't want to impose on the celebration . besides , if i choose to imbibe , you'll be confronted with a bard's headiest nightmare . " three-hundred years to his name and he still can't handle his alcohol . " or , a matchmaker's most dedicated patron . " his laughter sounds like a lazy river suddenly met perpendicular with tumbling , whitewater rapids . the embodiment of nature , he stands tall and proud as an oak with the devotion of a mother bear . " go on , little one , we will have time to spare for us . " lest the threads of his restraint continue to fray , gazing down upon their enticing profile onto which the flames of the campfire dance to a languid , unheard tune .

[nikatyler]

Well, I know who they’re gonna be for Halloween!