#it helps to think about it in terms of taking it a day at a time

[divadepreshawn]

𝒀𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒂'𝒂𝒎

Summary: Aaron Hotchner is not a man of many words — he prefers silence, gesture, subtle care. You have learned to listen. Warning: I don't think this can even be considered a story in itself. It's more about my kink for tough men who obey their wives in silence. Delusions WC: 1 093

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You knew that Aaron Hotchner was not an easy man.

He was – for lack of a more delicate term – emotionally constipated. And the chronic stress of his job made it worse. He is a person who values ​​justice a lot, and yes, he manages to apply it at work. But sometimes willpower alone is not enough, luck is not always on your side – even if he doesn't say it out loud, you know it affects him.

Aaron carried all of this in silence – never showing how tired he was, never asking for help.

He is extremely protective, to an almost suffocating degree. Not only of you and Jack, but of the team as well – which means he takes on more responsibilities than any healthy human being should try to handle.

Even so – and perhaps precisely because of this – he is a great husband.

Aaron Hotchner is the most romantic person you know.

Of course, if you tried to verbalize this to him, Aaron would give a half-smile, mumbling in mockery.

“Tzz, you’re starting to get sleep deprived. Let’s go to sleep, honey.”

But you could see it. You knew.

He didn’t say “I love you” often, or make big public declarations—it wasn’t necessary. You learned to watch the way he loved.

He would show up with a bouquet of tulips every month on the twentieth (the date you got married)— a silent ritual he followed to the letter, whether you were traveling to a case or at home. If a case was particularly difficult for you, he would sit next to you on the jet in silence, intertwine your fingers with his, and with his free hand, place a cup of tea and your favorite candy in front of you.

You mentioned once — just once — that your lower back hurt during your period. It was a casual comment, something so small that you didn’t even remember why it was important to the conversation. But he kept it in mind. In the months that followed, he would pay attention to every phase of your cycle. Every tiny expression on your face—from a slight frown when you bent down to pick up something that had fallen on the floor — didn’t go unnoticed.

Aaron would come to you at the end of the day, placing a quick kiss on your lips and a folded note in your hand.

a voucher for a massage.

And when you were feeling especially needy — which happened more often than you’d like to admit out loud — he’d notice before you could even open your mouth. Aaron would drag you to sit on his lap while he finished his reports.

Even if it was hard to write. Even if his leg went numb. He let you, because it was important to you. And because he loved you.

But there was one thing, one specific gesture, so simple, that melted you like jelly.

He didn’t make any decisions without asking your opinion first.

– After the wedding, you agreed to stay in his apartment instead of buying a house. The apartment was well located, practical, and safe. Besides, with the routine at BAU, it would be difficult to look for a house, deal with the renovation, and move. It was a lot of unnecessary stress.

The only problem is that Aaron is a very practical person, and takes the meaning of the word functional very seriously – things just needed to fulfill their purpose. A couch was a couch. And a curtain was just a piece of cloth that needed to block the sun's rays from coming in.

Worrying about the colors of the walls, matching the furniture in the house? No, that wasn't important to him.

But it was important to you, and that was the first thing you noticed. The wooden furniture in different tones, the three wallpapers in different colors and patterns. Not to mention the biggest affront to good taste, that damn striped curtain.

The decoration of the apartment was, honestly, terrible. But in his defense, Aaron was willing to make the place comfortable for you. In other words, he was so committed to transforming the apartment that he even mentioned changing the tiles in the bathroom if you wanted.

“You can decorate it however you want,” he said, leaning against the doorframe. His arms crossed over his chest, an amused smile on his lips when he noticed your expression of disgust.

“You promise?” , you asked, still staring at the couch as if it were a personal enemy.

“Of course, honey” , he assured, “where do you want to start?”

“I need a metal can.”

Aaron frowned. “What? Why?”

“I’ll start by burning these curtains.”

– Aaron woke up thirty minutes earlier than you every day. It was a deal you made, you take care of breakfast and he gets Jack ready for school. It was the kind of simple but essential deal that made the routine lighter without weighing on either side.

You were still half asleep, sunk into the soft sheets, hugging Aaron's pillow to fill the void in the bed and smell him – a mix of soap and cologne.

“Love?”

“Hm..?” You murmured, your voice hoarse. Opening your eyes slightly, trying to make out the figure near the wardrobe.

Aaron had his back to you, only with the white towel wrapped around his waist, still with small drops of water sliding down his back. His hair was damp and disheveled. He was holding two hangers.

“Gray or navy blue?”

You blinked slowly, trying to understand why the koala from your dream was calling you and your love and asking you to choose between two colors. You snuggled deeper into the bed, burying your head in the pillow. “I think… Navy blue.”

Aaron smiled, seeing your drowsy state. He hung the hangers back in the wardrobe and walked over to the bed. The mattress dipped slightly under your weight, before his lips brushed against your shoulders, leaving small kisses.

“Coffee in ten minutes?”

“Depends, if you want pancakes it’s ten minutes. Now if you want coffee in bed…” Before you can finish your sentence, he lightly bites your shoulder, making you let out a muffled laugh against the pillow.

“I can’t believe you’re flirting with me in your sleep,” he says, his tone full of disbelief – although he was clearly enjoying himself.

“Baby, I would learn necromancy to flirt with you after death,” you retort, turning your face slightly to face him.

Aaron lets out a snort of laughter. “You’re impossible,” he mutters, slapping your ass before standing up. “Come on, Mrs. Hotchner.”

“Call me that later,” you whine dramatically as you sink deeper into the sheets and mattress, “Now give me five more minutes, Mr. Koala.”

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[ggfj84]

Hi! Thank you for your thoughtful response. I appreciate you taking the time to talk with me. I understand what you're saying, but I think the issue is like you said - we don't agree.

If completely agree that Dick and Kory's relationship was ground-breaking and core, but I also believe that a relationship can be ground-breaking and core and not be permanent or an endgame. A person can help another to grow and heal, and that can be the theme. (The movie "Prime" is a great example.) A "point in time" romance would still resonate in the present day, even if the couple isn't together and won't be together again.

Yes, couples reset, but Dick and Kory have never reset and stuck. It was tried in Titans back in the 2000s. It was tried in Titans Academy. I'm sure there are other times in comics, but even after all their movies and TV shows together, it still hasn't been enough for them to be long-term in the comics during that time.

Revisiting a couple can have theme. Absolutely, but my point is - Lois and Clark have been seen as endgame for time - broken up, gotten back together, broken up again, gotten back together, stayed together, had a kid. Dick and Kory have broken up, slept together a few times a few times, and that's it in the comics. It's not the same IMHO.

If I understand correctly, you are saying that an arc written three decades ago should justify a relationship that hasn't been together in all that time, and that's your right. I'm saying - it's been over for three decades in which short spurts that haven't sold their relationship or formatted it in a way for readers to embrace it for the long haul. That doesn't make their arc in NTT "narrative inferior," as you believe I said. I just mean - it's not being embraced enough for people to want it since if it sold, it would be mainstream. Everything is about sales in comics. Speaking of which -

...If so then you know how like long-term pairings get reset constantly for market flexibility, ask Clark and Diana ask Bruce and Selina, this is less about sales and more about IP control.

Everything is about sales in comics; it's a business. Changing up characters like Batman: Reborn or breaking up Lois and Clark is solely to boost sales and then return to status quo, which generally also sees a boost in sales. But one generally has to return to the status quo for this to work. Even Barry eventually went back to being the mainstream Flash. God forbid we ever show progression, right?

But I disgress.

NTT sold - on Dick and Kory's relationship for the most part (I believe). But it's not the 1980s anymore. Times have changed, and so have Dick and Kory. Writers revisit it because they can, and why wouldn't they? Fanfiction writers do it all the time. It's fun to see what could be or could have been. But Dick and Kory didn't stay together because they helped each other heal, grow, and then moved on - as many couples in real life do. That's what I believe happened in their relationship. You believe something different, and that's your right.

Have a great Sunday!

Dick and Kory weren’t just a couple — they were narratively built for each other. Marv Wolfman and George Pérez crafted them with parallel arcs, emotionally and thematically. Dick, the disciplined human struggling with identity outside Batman’s shadow. Kory, the exiled alien princess learning humanity, freedom, love. They grew together. Their relationship was emotional, spiritual, ideological — not just romantic. They were equals who challenged and bettered each other.

And then editorial got messy.

Enter Babs, whose original purpose was not even romantic, but Batman's girl counterpart and suddenly she’s being wedged into a love triangle like it’s CW drama. Not only that, but they deaged her, rewrote her dynamic with Dick from “older mentor figure” to “quirky same-age love interest.” That’s not evolution, that’s surgery on continuity with no anesthesia.

They butchered Dick’s history with Kory just to make room for a status quo that’s more palatable to a Bat-centric branding. They erased an engagement, deep emotional growth, and cosmic-scale love just to reduce her to a “fling.” That’s not just disrespect to Starfire, that’s disrespect to decades of storytelling.

It’s no coincidence that Dick and Kory’s relationship flourished when they had autonomy outside the Bat office. The Titans gave them space to be messy, raw, radiant. And it’s telling that when creators have the chance to write them freely (like in Titans, DCeased, Injustice, Future State) they gravitate back to DickKory. Because it works.

[halfadiamond]

You Think It’s Love- Part 1

Poly TF141 x Reader

Based off this <- *edit: the angst scenario*

Masterlist

You think it’s a simple acquaintance when you meet him at the grocery store. He was kind enough to grab something off the top shelf for you. You thank him and he introduces himself as Kyle.

You couldn’t deny that Kyle wasn’t a good looking man. He looked handsome even when he was just wearing casual clothing, but you choose not to acknowledge this to him and you both go on your way.

It becomes a simple friendship when you meet Kyle again at the grocery store even at the same aisle that you guys first met, you notice that his cart seems quite full in comparison to your cart that only has some food and other items that you needed to grab. You want to be nosy and ask why buy so much but you choose not to and give him a simple greeting. You notice how Kyle looks at his groceries with a slight annoyance, perhaps he’s calculating how much this is going to cost him, you can’t help but feel bad for him. Groceries aren’t cheap especially if they fill up a cart, so you offer a suggestion.

“There’s another store not far from here that sells produce cheaper.”

Kyle looks at you, and gives you a friendly smile as he admits that he’s new to town here so he’s not quite familiar with the places. You’re not sure how but you two end up conversing instead of shopping, you learn more about Kyle such as he’s in the military and that he chose to move here because the town seems small and quaint. You agree with him and before you know it, you guys exchange phone numbers and promise to keep in touch.

It becomes a simple crush when you and Kyle begin meeting up regularly. You show him around town and he seems to make a mental note of everything. You guys go to eat at a restaurant and you realize how it looks to be like a date, but you quickly brush those ideas away. You were still right that he’s incredibly good looking and he has a great personality to go along with it. He’s funny but kind. He definitely knows how to talk with people as you find yourself becoming increasingly comfortable with him.

It’s when you guys are about to go your separate ways that you decide to ask him a question.

“If you’re not seeing anyone… maybe we can go out on a date?”

You expect him to either accept or reject you. But you’re left standing there in confusion and hurt as he laughs, it’s time like this where you wish you were a witch so that you could turn him into a frog. You feel tears coming to eyes and as you turn away to leave, you feel Kyle grab your arm as he wipes the tears from his face.

“I’m sorry love. I’m not laughing at you. It’s just that I am taken.”

He takes a few seconds to think about what to say.

“I got a boyfriend well the correct term is… I got boyfriends.”

Excuse me? You stare at him confusion. Boyfriends? You could barely get one boyfriend but he’s got multiple. You want to say something but you don’t know what but Kyle continues on.

“Why don’t you come over to my place? You could meet them, they’ve been curious about you.”

“I don’t want to intrude.”

You admit meekly but Kyle chuckles and shakes his head.

“You won’t. Trust me. They don’t bite.”

So you agree and set up a time and date.

—

You think it’s different but sometimes different is good as you meet the men.

John is who you meet first, he seems to be the oldest of the men and to be the one who the men listen to the most. But John is a perfect gentlemen, he gives you water and offers snacks, he gives you a friendly smile as he asks questions about you and lets you ask him questions.

You meet Johnny next and he’s definitely the extrovert of the group. He’s chatty but knows how to listen. He manages to shake the nerves out of you by making you laugh as he talks about his days when he was younger.

Lastly, you meet Simon and you were, admittedly, intimidated by his size and how he seems to be more of an observer rather a talker. But he has his own way of worming himself into your heart as he’s the first one to offer to walk you back to your place.

They have their rhythm that works you notice. They each have their own way of showing affection to each other:

You see how Simon grazes his fingers softly on his lovers hands.

You see how John lovingly calls them, love, and looks at each of them as if they hung the moon.

You see how Johnny is always checking out his lovers, you’ve heard that they’ve been dating for a while, so you consider it sweet that Johnny still finds them attractive.

You see how Kyle is always giving his lovers affection. He holds hands with Simon, he gives Johnny a kiss on the forehead, and he stays close to John.

It’s awfully sweet and you find yourself returning often at their wishes and yours where you guys begin to form your own friendship.

—

You’re not sure what to think the day that they ask you if you’d like to be theirs.

You think it’s a joke but the men all seem serious. Kyle is quick to tell you that they’ll respect your decision and that if this isn’t something you’re comfortable with then that’s fine.

You see how hopeful Soap looks as if he’ll melt to the ground if you say no.

You see how John tries to seem confident but his eyes look nervous as he awaits your response.

You see how Simon tries to remain as neutral as possible as to not sway your decision.

You couldn’t deny that you definitely grew to like the men. Even if they never acted inappropriately towards you; they still showed you how much they grew to care for you. Through offerings of cooking your favorite foods, always walking you home, and making sure you’re as comfortable as can be you grew to like them romantically and now you were learning that they felt the same.

As much as you wanted to say yes, you were scared that you would be the outsider to their dynamic. All of you would have to learn what works for them and you and what doesn’t. You’re worried that these men have grown to be so comfortable with each other that they won’t know what to do with a new person joining their relationship.

The men can tell that you’re nervous and as much as they want to try and offer physical reassurance, they don’t want to intrude so Johnny takes the first step.

“What’s on your mind Bonnie?”

You think about lying, saying that you’re just caught off guard but lying does no good so you decide to be honest.

“I’m just worried that you guys are so comfortable with your relationship that you might not be able to fully accept me into your circle.”

You see the little breaths of relief come from them as they take in mind your worries. It’s a common worry amongst those in a poly relationship, so they want to reassure you.

“Love. It might seem awkward at first but we’ll find something that works for all of us. You can speak up whenever you want to and we’ll listen.”

John reassures you and he even offers you a comforting smile as he continues.

“It’s all up to you. We’ll respect your decision. We can give you some privacy to think, just come into the living room when you’ve made your choice.”

And with that, all of the men, except for Simon, leave for the living room. Simon stays for a bit, thinking, before patting your head in his own way to comfort you before he follows after his lovers.

You think for awhile. You’re not sure if this is the right thing to do. You’ve never dated multiple people at once, but you can’t deny that you’ve grew to become close to them. You enjoy their company and they enjoy yours. And if they’re adamant that they’ll listen to you, and work with you to make this work then what’s stopping you from trying it out?

You head into the living after a while and give them a small nod as you agree to be theirs.

Deleted scene: Graves standing there in annoyance because you and Gaz are talking in front of the item that he needs.

[mereyapalais]

My small contribution for my shaylas, Annie x Smoke. Still getting a feel of their characters.

Modern Smoke x Annie.

Warnings: none. Fluff?

Excuse any errors (👀)

The ghost of a faint kiss tickled Annie out of her deep slumber. She couldn’t distinguish if she was dreaming or not. She refused to open her eyes so as to not cut her sleep short, in case she was just dreaming. Her eyebrows slightly furrowed trying to concentrate on the soft lips against hers.

A soft but deep voice whispering in her ear coaxed her out of her sleep. “Good evening my love. Won’t you open your pretty eyes for me?” A small kiss accompanied his words.

Eyes opening in slow motion, she blinked the sleep away trying to focus on the most beautiful pair eyes. When his whole face came in to view, a tired smile appeared on her face.

“There she goes. My beautiful woman. Hi.”

“Good evening handsome. What time is it?” She asked while stretching her body. This pregnancy has taken a toll on her body. Sleeping like a koala any time of the day. Her body required frequent rest.

That’s why her husband reasoned with her to take her maternity leave earlier than the expected time. He was more than capable of taking care of his household.

He wanted this pregnancy to have as little complications as possible.

It wasn’t easy convincing her to leave the job space. Annie is a hardworking woman. Passionate about what she does. Plus she knows the kids would miss her when they won’t see her.

Explaining to them what a maternity leave entails was a challenge it only made the kids even more curious and have a million other questions. Some about the subject and others just random, asking the first thing that came to mind. She loves those little kids. The rest will do her good so she can have a little kid to call her own.

Checking his Patek Philippe , he read the time “it’s 18:37.”

“You and this military time of yours. What’s that in normal people time Elijah?”

“6:37.”

A gasp left her lips. “Already? Wow I wasn’t planning on laying down for that long.” She took his wrist just to make sure it was indeed the indicated time on the watch.

“How long you been laying down here?”

“Um, well, I was just planning on laying down a bit before starting dinner and I didn’t want to go all the way to the bedroom. Because I was only going to lay down for -

Her rambling came full force when she knows her husband had caught her doing something wrong. He is real strict about this pregnancy and wants to follow all the doctors recommendations to a t.

Whenever she thought of dismissing the doctor’s advice, Elijah was there to make sure she was doing everything as told.

Whether it was her diet, hydration or exercise habits, Elijah made sure everything was done well.

“How long Annie?”

At the sound of her name, she looked up at him with a pout forming on her lips. She wasn’t used to him uttering her name. Normally a term of endearment was used to in lieu of her name. ‘Annie’ sounded foreign at times. Of course he still used her name but most of the time ‘Annie’ was reserved for when she was giving him an out of body experience or when he was scolding her.

Like now.

“Since 4:00, I think.”

His silence made everything else go silent with him. She could feel his hard stare but refused to meet his eyes. She hated whenever he was disappointed with her.

He sighed. His eyes wandered to the side landing on the water bottle he bought her to help keep track of her water intake. The bottle displayed the different hours of the day accompanied by words of encouragement for each hour.

That was strike two in Elijah’s book.

“So you’ve been laying here for at least two hours. And, from what I can see, you haven’t hydrated yourself since 2:00.”

“I forgot.”

“How you forget to drink water Annie?”

“Can you stop calling me that?”

They way voice came out so small, like a whisper, only indicated one thing lately. She was about to cry.

Her feelings have been all over the place lately. Changing like the colours of the aurora borealis.

“Come on mama, don’t cry. I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention to sound mean. Just want to make sure this journey will be as smooth as possible, yeah?” He says wiping away her tears. Pressing small kisses all over her face.

“Let me go get you something to drink.”

He goes to the kitchen, fills up a cold glass of water before bringing it in front of her. “Drink up.”

After she’s done, he accompanies her to the bathroom to run her a bath. His hand finding it’s rightful place at the small of her back. Rubbing soothingly, absentmindedly.

“Go on and sit as I get the water started.”

Before he could leave, she pulled on his arm bringing his head down to her level and kissing him softly.

He left for the bathroom. Opening the tap a little getting the temperature less hot than normally because their doctor advised so.He opted for the epsome salt since they couldn’t use her regular bath bombs. He lit her tulip shaped unscented candle to add to the ambiance.

“You okay sweetheart?”

So lost in her thoughts, she didn’t hear him enter her space before he spoke. She looked up at him with sad eyes. “I feel bad.”

“You feel bad? Where.” His hands instantly finding her protruding belly. Rubbing it. She lightly slapped his hands away.

The panic in his voice caused her to roll her eyes slightly.

“No Elijah, calm down, I mean I feel bad.”

“Why, love?”

“Because-” Her voice came out louder than intended. “Because I-I’m the one who’s supposed to be taking care of you. You just came back from work and instead of resting you’re here taking care of me. I feel so lazy.”

“Nah baby, you ain’t lazy, stop that.”

He wiped the tears escaping from her eyes. A kiss on her forehead.

“Besides who said you have to take care of me? Hmm? You’re my wife, carrying my child. Our baby. Your body is accomplishing one of the most amazing tasks. Of course you’re going to feel tired. Lemme take care of you while you take care of our baby.”

She sniffles, “I guess..”

He felt like something deeper was was bothering her. He was going to tend to whatever it was after but for now, he just wanted her to relax.

“Come on. Let’s get you in that bath before the water runs cold. We gon have a talk later.”

Thank you for reading 💋

🏷️ @browngirldominion

If you’d like to be added to the tag list pls let me know

[bumpen-underbeds]

I'm still thinking about that fallen angel idea/concept from the other day.

But maybe you take them home, take one or two in and try your best to help them.

Helping them slightly come to terms with how they are now in the mortal realm and not the high heavens they were made. Soon two becomes three and then more and more of these fallen angels come and go from your home, seeking you out and bathing in the comfort of someone helping them, someone showing them a fraction of the grace they had lost.

Alongside the longing for their lost wings and the warmth of their original home comes all the other mortal feelings, hunger in all its forms, thirst, anger, jealousy, and envy all rush through them as they spend more and more time in the human world. Eventually, the flock of fallen angels that come and go from your home to succumb, the gentle warmth of your hugs and kisses against their heads as they kneel or stoop to your height isn't enough anymore.

Soon you're waking up to two of them in your bed, one kneeling on the mattress pitch black eyes watching as you wake and the other laying on its stomach by your side lidded crimson eyes waiting for you to be fully conscious before leaning closer.

A halo of long hair veils your face as you open your eyes, confusion gives way to shock before sighing and opening your arms to them thinking they simply want to cuddle. Having grown used to having these overly large, formally heavenly beings crowd into your bed in the mornings and afternoons, it's surprising when one of the two leans even closer slightly shaking as they kiss your cheek. Wide eyed and trying to find words as both of them are softly pressing wet kisses across your cheeks and down your neck, shifting closer and closer to your prone form as they rumble strangely with each kiss.

The eyes on their faces are closed but the other ones, the ones that are nothing but wandering rings of colour that blink from the scars across their chests and collars watch you, focused and keen, lidded softly as they watch your every move. It's overwhelming how desperate they seem to have more and more contact, hands greedy as they slip under your back and across your waist, tracing every curve, every detail they can feel as their lips devour your skin one kiss at a time.

The strangely hued skin of theirs flushes an interesting bronze gold colour as they look up at you, whimpering as they rock their hips against the air, finding themselves hard for the first time in their new lives. Shifting the loose wrap skirt they wear and freeing themselves, the whimpering between kisses becomes pleading to touch them, to help them more, to make it feel better than they have before.

What were you to do but help? You had helped them so far, let them come and go from your home, what was a little more help from you?

Gently pulling one of them into a proper kiss, guiding their lips with your own till they are eagerly melting into every moment, and the other is whining into the open air as you slowly stroke their cock twisting your wrist and working the thick pre-cum down his shaft as it's hands grasp your wrist and try to make you move faster, both of them desperately seeking more touch, more of you.

Opening one eye as you alternate which one your kissing and which one your jacking off, only to see the doorway of your room filled with other fallen that had taken a liking to you, each one blushing and whimpering. Rubbing against each other or making little rocking motions into the air in need.

It would be a long, long day ahead but maybe a truly pleasurable one.

[wrydemonandslychild]

i know they say love is trust but i disagree with this. ciel fully trusts sebastian with his life but he doesn't fully trust sebastian with his heart.

yes, he expresses affection by defending him verbally in the circus/luxury liner arc, trying to help him onto the boat during the lifeboat scene, telling him he did well, etc... but he doesn't want sebastian to know that he's 'weak', that he's human. that's one of the reasons he pushes his friends away, he doesn't want to have to grieve them in front of sebastian. he doesn't want to care about people because he doesn't want sebastian to see him care. it's like how he says he wants to advertise to the orphans so they pressure their parents to buy them funtom toys (what parents ..?). ciel's words at the end of the red butler arc are another example of him deflecting from his kindness.

they also say love is understanding but i also disagree with this. ciel seems to think that sebastian in the manga right now is the same sebastian of season 2.

to explain: ciel thinks showing emotional weakness in front of sebastian will make him look down on him. this impression of him is probably due to the day they met. sebastian also thinks ciel looks down on him and sees him as a dog because of that day. the day they met has caused walls to be put up between them.

to put it succinctly, sebastian and ciel are two characters who have fundamentally misunderstood each other, deeply so.

sebastian knows how kind ciel is and yet he still hasn't been able to figure out the extent of ciel's affection for him. he doesn't understand that when ciel tells him it's okay that he sits in first class in the train and from then on, he always sits in first class, that means ciel doesn't look down on him. when he makes him lie down and eat a shitty porridge, it means he cares. when he says his social status doesn't matter against the double charles, that means he does not fundamentally care for class. when he accepts to take the servants shopping at sebs request and doesn't question where he goes when he stops at somerset house, he is expressing that he believes in him (which is different to trust*).

*ciel doesn't trust sebastian enough to directly express his emotions in front of him. he doesn't, however, think that sebastian will ever intentionally cause him trouble. he trusts sebastian's loyalty as a butler and his aesthetics but not sebastian himself.

when he orders him tea while they sit in a first class dining spot, does sebastian believe ciel when he says it's just because he wants to stretch his legs? do you believe him? from ciel's perspective, he knows that sebastian fundamentally does not like fighting undertaker (because he might lose) but in the manor when r!ciel returned, he tried to. he knows that sebastian didn't sign up for battling against a reaper who wants to bring the dead back to life. as much as he considers sebs cold, he knows agni and sebastian were at least on good terms and saw sebs' reaction to his death. he thinks sebastian isn't capable of being upset about all this. but sebastian is. it's evident from the way he's so snide and harsh on the dinner table towards bard and his expression when lau mentions india. ciel might not think seb is upset/annoyed with this situation but he treats him as though he is.

he treats him with care despite not trusting him, he treats him like a human, despite thinking he's a beast. he doesn't understand him but regardless he shows him compassion. and i think that's higher than a love where you know the person in front of you is good and deserving of your love. if you love someone despite not thinking they're capable of caring for you back and knowing they will destroy you when given the chance (see: green witch arc), do you not think that love is beyond anything built on trust and understanding?

it is the most selfless, altruistic act of love.

sebastian does not know how cared for he is, he only knows that ciel doesn't see him capable of any human emotion (which he does have to some extent, when he said he would compensate modri, that was empathy and guilt), he thinks he's seen as a lowly dog by ciel (but we know ciel likes dogs, as we know sebastian made him feel safe despite being "mean" to him) and he thinks ciel cares about his class, wealth and luxuries (this is the same person who wanted to be a middle class toy maker since he was 9 btw)... and yet he still protects ciel with his life (literally), does everything to ciel's benefit (even when he's not ordered to) and gets him the best clothes to express that he believes in him* (again, misunderstanding ciel's attachment to wealth).

*during the school arc, he has already ordered a tailored version of the cox outfit for ciel because ciel had said he would win. in the current arc, he orders a full set of clothes because ciel said he would get his title back. he believes in him but he doesn't understand him.

hs even tries to get ciel to go out and explore brighton in the recent chapters. but why? shouldn't he want this to be over as soon as possible? no because despite being misunderstood as a beast by ciel, while deep inside he enjoys being a human servant for ciel playing a game with him, he is willing to act like a monster at ciel's behest (green witch arc). is that not a potent form of love? to know you are not understood or trusted but still behaving in a trustworthy way and with good intentions? even though he cannot change ciel's perception of him, he still tries to make ciel happy (remember, he always tells elizabeth that she makes ciel happy, he even questions why she's fighting him in the blue cult arc by saying, "you always wanted to make the young master happy, why are you doing this?" paraphrase). and is that not a higher form of love? to know someone does not trust or know/understand you but loving them anyway? to know they will never see you as a fellow person despite any humanity you show and yet trying to bring them happiness anyway?

it is the most selfless, altruistic act of love.

[whumpster-dumpster]

This is for those "moral discourse" asks, because I think they truly need to hear this.

YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON BECAUSE YOU LIKE WHUMP OF ANY KIND!

Are you hurting an actual living person? Are you actually assaulting someone you can see, feel, touch? No? Then you're not doing any harm. You cannot hurt someone by writing a story. As long as you tag correctly, that's up to them to filters themselves out. If they see the tags and still read, and then blame you for getting triggered, that's on them. They made a choice that they didn't like the consequences of. It has to do with them not wanting to take responsibility for their own actions, and they believe if they make you feel bad enough, they can force you to do it. Don't let them blame you for their actions.

Regardless, whump has been a part of literature since literature's creation. It just didn't have a name the way it does now. We can read older manuscripts and see "wine-dark sea" and still understand that it means the ocean, right? It's the same thing with whump. Plenty of older, classic (western) novels have whump in them, or whumpy themes, we just don't call them whump stories. Older tv shows have whump in them, movies from the silent era have whump in them. The wonderful Star Trek ladies who built the fandom and fanfiction experience wrote stories with whump in them. We've always been here, we just haven't always had a name, or the kind of community we have now because of the internet. Daniel Jackson may have given us the name whump, but he was never the original source of it. Fuck, I'd been writing whump before the term was created!

I will say it again. You are not a bad person, and you're not a bad person for writing dark themes, even things like sexual assault or torture. Romanticizing pain has become one of the "purity testers" buzz words they've been throwing around lately, because they think it's effective to discourage people from doing what they think is wrong. But some people think that the Earth is flat, and some people think the moon landing was fake. and while they're entitled to their own opinions, that doesn't make them true.

If the only people who were allowed to write about dark themes were the people who experienced them, then a) millions of books would disappear overnight and b) we'd know exactly what that person went through even though it's a horribly personal trauma and c) we'd have to make them prove it. Honestly, those who write it who haven't been through it help those who write it who have been through it. So we don't have to automatically assume people's deepest traumas and the worst days of their lives, and we don't have to demand proof of those people.

Don't live your life based on what other people think is wrong, you'll never be able to enjoy anything again. There will always be something wrong with every piece of media, every hobby, every single experience humans can have. If you're still worried, then write for yourself, and figure out whether or not you want to post it. You cannot romanticize anything for yourself. If there's a judgement call inside your head when no one else has read your fic, that's other people's words in your head and that's not fair to you. You do not have to live by other people's morals, especially the ones you don't know.

Also, imo, there's nothing wrong with sadism as long as you're not hurting another real live person. There's a whole community that's been around for a ridiculous amount of time where sadism is part of their name (bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism) and that's a controlled, safe space where pain and pleasure (not necessarily sexual) mix together. That's what writing whump/being in the whump community is. A safe space to feel and inflict pain in a place where that is controlled and accepted.

tbh, that original anon sounded a bit like a teenager, so I'm gonna continue as if you are. You have been raised in an environment where any deviation from societal norms is severely punished, and unfortunately, you're growing up in a recessive time, where conservatism is becoming the loudest voice. But just because they can scream louder than we can doesn't mean we need to live by their rules. At the end of the day, you only have to live with yourself, you don't have to live with their choices. If anyone tells you that hurting a fictional character is just as bad as hurting a real live person, even yourself, remember that thousands of main and side characters in media of all kinds have been killed off or tortured or disabled, and not a single real life person has ever been injured or killed because of it. There is no book that's ever been published where it's words alone have hurt a real life person. The worst injury a book can give you is a papercut. (or a bruise from dropping it on yourself)

Give yourself room to breathe, kid. You don't need to figure out everything about yourself and your life in one day. You've got your whole life ahead of you, and you should enjoy it whenever you can.

.

[dandelionsresilience]

Hello I just want to say I really appreciate your dandelion news collections and to ask if you have any that are about tackling covid. I've been super anxious and having more panic attacks over it recently and I need a bit of hope that this nightmare might be over soon

Thanks for reaching out, I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. To get the bad news out of the way first, covid probably won’t ever be “over” at this point, because individuals and governments are doing very little to control it, much less eradicate it. however, there are plenty of ways we can protect ourselves and others even in the presence of covid, and research is ongoing worldwide to help treat and prevent it.

Here’s how we can tackle covid, first what you can personally do and then some of the research that’s happening:

First and foremost, don’t demand perfection from yourself! anything is better than nothing!

Join COVID Advocacy groups

Get a free or low-cost covid shot

Know that the “high-risk” conditions that keep you eligible for the vaccine in 2025 include mood disorders like depression (among many other conditions)

Advocate for the right to mask

Speaking of right to mask, “Illinois could become the first state in the country to ban mask bans.” HELP THIS BILL PASS by indicating support and getting updates, sharing your story of mask-based discrimination, and saying how it would affect similar efforts in your state

Jewish New Yorkers can sign their support to this open letter against mask bans

CleanAirCrew has loads of resources for cleaning your air

Wash your hands thoroughly and frequently

Take a covid test if you think you might’ve been exposed or if you have symptoms

How to get free paxlovid (2024)

Quarantine/isolate for at least 5 days after being exposed to covid, even if you don’t have symptoms yet

One of the best things you can do to protect others is wear a mask.

it’s never too late to start masking again / what to say when people ask why you’re wearing a mask

How to identify fake(non-certified) masks

Here’s where to get good masks of all different kinds - if you find masks uncomfortable, please check out the wide variety of styles!

These ones are specifically marketed as extra-breathable

Canadians can request a free mask here

Encourage others to mask with these free images

Research:

Nasal vaccine that prevents transmission is in phase I trials

Inhaled vaccine is in phase II trials

This filter can capture nanoparticles such as viruses, they’re working on improving air flow for use in masks

They found biomarkers for long covid

A CRISPR modification increases “the stability and effectiveness of mRNA vaccines”

New technology makes mRNA last longer in vaccines, increasing efficacy

New lipid nanoparticle drug-delivery method prevents lung damage

“Students perform equally well in-person or online”

Updated booster shots broaden range of immunity to other related viruses

”mRNA vaccines induce an epigenetic 'training' of innate immune cells,” broadening and extending efficacy

DNA “origami” greatly increases sensitivity of rapid tests

Prevention and long-term effects of covid are being studied

I hope some of this helps, but if the anxiety persists please consider seeking therapy to learn ways to head off panic attacks, or get medication if you need. Here’s a list of mental health hotlines if you need someone to help you through a panic attack. Keep your head up, we will get through this together

[mariacallous]

It ended, of course, with a tweet. Late on Wednesday evening, Elon Musk announced the official end of his short, traumatic tenure as the head of a made-up agency called the Department of Government Efficiency. Musk’s post on X, the social-media network he owns and had sought to weaponize in service of a radical cost-costing assault on the federal government, was brief. After thanking Donald Trump for “the opportunity to reduce wasteful spending,” the world’s richest man, deflated but still defiant, added, “The @DOGE mission will only strengthen over time as it becomes a way of life throughout the government.”

The reviews of Musk’s rampage through Washington have been, deservedly, vicious: Who, during the past few crazy months, could have possibly failed to take note of his toxic combination of entitlement and ignorance, his vastly overstated claims, and his move-fast-and-break-things ethos that has resulted in wreckage that will take years to fully assess? Musk, the largest individual donor in a single election cycle in American history, seemed to truly believe what his critics feared—that his hundreds of millions of dollars spent on behalf of Trump and Republican causes had purchased him an outsized share of the Presidency itself. He sought to collect in unprecedented fashion, installing himself in the White House at Trump’s side, helicoptering around on Marine One with his young son in tow, speaking at Cabinet meetings though he held no formal Senate-confirmed seat at the table. He demanded sensitive government data on millions of Americans, empowered a former intern known online as Big Balls, and blew up the U.S.’s foreign-aid program. In February, he cavorted onstage at a conservative event with a chainsaw—no metaphorical subtlety there—and, when he fired thousands of workers and abolished entire agencies, he became the gleeful personification of the G.O.P.’s decades-long campaign to denigrate and downsize America’s federal government.

In a round of exit interviews this week, Musk has sounded all the predictable notes of a naïve billionaire businessman mugged by Washington’s political reality. He told the Washington Post that he found things were “much worse” than he’d realized inside the federal bureaucracy, and that it actually turned out to be an “uphill battle” to take that chainsaw to the government. In an interview on “CBS News Sunday Morning,” he started the messy work of separating himself from the President. “I was, like, disappointed to see the massive spending bill, frankly,” Musk admitted, given that Trump’s “big, beautiful” tax cuts for the rich and spending cuts for the poor will add trillions of dollars to the budget deficit. Stating the obvious, which, these days, counts as an act of lèse-majesté among the Republican sycophants who surround Trump, Musk added that the measure “undermines the work that the DOGE team is doing.” (What a “lie,” Stephen Miller, Trump’s deputy chief of staff, said, though it was not.) Trump himself, as is often the case, was embarrassingly direct about why he had sold out Musk. “We have to get a lot of votes, we can’t be cutting—we need to get a lot of support,” he told reporters in the White House on Wednesday when asked specifically about the comment from Musk. Revealingly, Trump never even mentioned Musk’s name.

Watching Trump casually brush off the sidekick who stuck to him like glue for most of the Administration’s first few months, I couldn’t help but think of Reince Priebus, the first-term White House chief of staff, who was dumped via tweet while deboarding Air Force One and left on the tarmac of Joint Base Andrews as Trump’s motorcade roared off without him. The truth is that Trump can hardly afford one of those messy divorces at which both he and Musk excel; he still needs Musk, who has talked of spending another hundred million dollars of his fortune to help pro-Trump groups before next year’s midterm elections. The oligarch may have left the building, but it’s not clear the President can afford to live without him.

I was in Madison Square Garden last October when Musk, during an election rally for Trump, claimed that he would slash an incredible two trillion dollars, at least, from the U.S. budget—a remarkable bit of bravado that got less attention than the rally’s headline-making racism and its Trump-as-Dear-Leader vibe. Later, Musk dialled his ambitions back to cutting a cool trillion dollars. Of course, that was never going to happen, either, as anyone who’d ever spent a minute in Washington could have told Musk, had he cared to listen.

For all of Musk’s breathless early claims of “revolution,” the final tally of his efforts appears to have been somewhere around a hundred and fifty billion dollars. And even that is unlikely to stand. Many of the savings that Musk bragged about on the DOGE website proved to be nonexistent; numerous agencies and departments he attacked are now suing to block the wave of firings and cuts that he set in motion. In the end, his reckless approach to cutting, with little or no thought to the consequences, may cost the government as much as a hundred and thirty-five billion dollars this fiscal year alone, according to recent estimates from the Partnership for Public Service. Turns out it’s not cheap to place tens of thousands of workers on paid leave and to rehire mistakenly fired employees, never mind dealing with the lost productivity of a traumatized and uncertain workforce. Who’d have thought?

Musk’s failure to follow through on his boasts, though, should not detract from a clear-eyed assessment of the extraordinary amount of damage he succeeded in wreaking. The wise men are laughing Musk out of town, and I get it. His “performative vandalism,” as Jonah Goldberg put it on CNN, was in some respects just a pernicious, highly dangerous new variant of a Washington perennial: the pol who makes promises he cannot keep. But it is hard to think of any other unelected official who has done so much harm to the U.S. government in such a short period of time. The fact that the deficit may get even bigger at the end of the day only worsens the injury.

A few hours before Musk’s announcement, I spoke with one of his many thousands of victims. Until a few weeks ago, Mary Boyle was a commissioner at the Consumer Product Safety Commission, the historically bipartisan agency that, for more than fifty years, has insured that America’s car seats and toaster ovens and baby strollers are safe. Boyle, one of three Democratic appointees on the commission, recounted how Musk’s men had effectively ended her office’s work in a matter of hours. First came the rumor, on the evening of Wednesday, May 7th: “DOGE is coming.” By 2 P.M. the next day, two young men had appeared at the agency’s offices, in Bethesda, Maryland. At 3:45 P.M., Boyle and the other commissioners received an e-mail from the commission’s acting Republican chairman, informing them that he planned to bring on the two DOGErs who, “at no expense to the Commission,” would help the agency “with the assessment and enhancement of internal processes and operational procedures.” The commissioners had until 6 P.M., he said, to let him know “whether I have your support.” It would be funny if it weren’t the kind of thing that should have remained inconceivable in a functioning democracy: Here are the guys who are going to put us out of business, and they come real cheap. Boyle sent her reply, a single-word e-mail: “No.” Not even an hour later, while pulled over at a rest stop on the New Jersey Turnpike, she received a response of sorts, from Trent Morse, the deputy head of the White House’s personnel office: “Mary, on behalf of President Donald J. Trump, I am writing to inform you that your position on the Consumer Product Safety Commission is terminated effectively immediately. Thank you for your service.”

It did not seem to matter that the Consumer Product Safety Commission had been set up by Congress, had its budget provided by Congress, and had its commissioners confirmed by Congress. The law itself governing the agency, first passed back in 1972, could not be more clear: there were only two reasons to fire a commissioner—“neglect of duty” or “malfeasance in office.” Boyle now finds herself as the lead plaintiff in a case she never expected to file: Boyle v. Trump. Although the attack on her agency was “brazen” and “baldly illegal,” Boyle told me that she knows it just might succeed. The day after she and her colleagues filed their lawsuit last week, the Supreme Court indicated that it might strike down the precedent dating back to the New Deal era that protects the commissioners of independent agencies from being fired by the President. In the meantime, you can forget about new rules to restrict potentially dangerous ion batteries in e-bikes and scooters that the Consumer Product Safety Commission was working on. Thanks, Elon.

Musk’s casualties are not only in Washington but all over the world, in refugee camps and scientific labs whose funding was abruptly cut off, in national parks you can’t get into this summer, and in communities across the country where polluters will no longer be prosecuted. All of this upheaval “is going to affect the functioning of the government in ways we can’t even anticipate,” Boyle told me. She is right. We have been warned. 

[vaguely-concerned]

just for fun this time during 'sea of blood' I counted out all the venatori corpses I think we can be pretty sure were lucanis' handiwork before we show up (not including the ones he kills in his initial cutscene, and with an assumption that he's been at work mainly up and down in the areas we move through until we find him, not behind the locked door -- I think that's mostly the work of rampaging undead and other venatori-hoisted-by-their-own-petard suchlikes). can thus happily inform you lucanis has killed at least 32 venatori before rook and company get there. at least one of them he's impaled on their own weird crystal spike things the venatori mages cast as an AOE attack and that they're trying to keep him contained with when we find him. so he's clearly been keeping busy lol. that's my boy dispensing poetic justice and claiming some enrichment in his enclosure while he's at it good for him!

[kraviolis]

no one has explored the idea of darius and camila co-parenting hunter enough. like where the hell are the fics about darius calling camila asking if hunter left his derby uniform at her house or camila personally going to drop off hunter at his dad's house and sharing a cup of tea with him while she asks about hunter's grades at hexside and darius asks about hunter's sleeping habits and if she had any human alternatives to sleeping nettles that might help him sleep without the dream-enhancing side effect.

what about camila inviting darius to stay for dinner when he comes to drop off hunter at his mom's house and darius asking for the recipe and then asking the kids what ingredients he could substitute and which ones have to stay the same. or camila specifically adding three more lines to her phone plan-- one for vee, one for hunter, and one for darius so that they can keep in contact more easily. or hunter getting in trouble at school for picking a fight with boscha but when principal bump calls, darius is extremely busy with work so he calls camila and asks her to handle it.

maybe darius gets in an argument with hunter and he cant tell where he went wrong and calls camila and she listens and gives him her advice as someone whose been a parent for fourteen years vs. his own eight months. or camila opens up to darius about her own struggles with losing her husband and he opens up with his own grief over losing his mentor. or they talk on the phone for hours and gossip with each other. maybe darius comes over to hang out with camila and binge watch a new show with her while the kids are at school

[rambling-robot]

I think they’re all good enough fighters that without an emotional point to exploit (see: Raph’s loss), it’d just be a draw if there’s not a narrative goal to the fights. I am already biased towards the outcome of Mikey winning, because that narrative is more interesting to me esp when it comes back around to the re-match (assuming it still happens), so my explanations are about How We Make Mikey Win.

Here’s my reasoning for the long-term narrative: While Mikey has to (comedically) panic about how he’s going to get his butt kicked (which. btw. that episode of SpongeBob where he’s getting bullied popped into my head when I typed that.) due to his slacking off and annoying his family, this is during Leo’s Maximum Angst era. We wouldn’t get that bit of Leo staying to help Mikey train and give him inspirational words, which shows that he isn’t blocking his family out but really, deeply cares about them despite there being such a Point made of how annoying Mikey has been. If Leo had been dragged into a rematch, well… he has more going on internally at that time, so it’d probably turn into him just. straight up killing Kluh. which would be an interesting fic topic, but is perhaps too heavy to stack onto him in the show.

So! Mikey and Leo would be pretty evenly matched if they both committed to it; it’s hard to give an unbiased answer about who would win. TL;DR: for the last paragraph, I say that Mikey would win via plot armor.

Here’s how I think Mikey would win if he fought against Leo: Leo would see how much this means to Mikey (I’m of the opinion that Mikey is the one who’s most interested in being part of the world aboveground and making friends and being seen) and he’d take the loss—he’d make Mikey fight for it, of course, but he wouldn’t try his hardest. Mikey got this far, and, well, so did Leo, but Leo can win the next one (or at least be sure to give it his all).

Or, and I like this version because I think it’s funnier, Leo would be having an ongoing internal conflict about whether he should let Mikey win (gaining the honor of Greatest Warrior, vs letting his brother continue having the best day of his life, vs well Mikey would be really annoying about that forever; going on and on) and this distracts him enough that Mikey beats him no-sweat. And Leo’s like. Well. Alright. I’m never being nice to him ever again, how about that?

Either way, I think Mikey’s win against Leo would be based on Leo being a softie (for now) and deciding that he loves his brother more than he wants to be famous for his skill in combat. (I also think this would be a fun moment to point at and say “Leo cares about his family So Much” and “he is just like his father.” Narratively and thematically I think this is a good outcome.)

Here’s how I think he’d win against Usagi: I’m going to start off honest, I know very little about Usagi, so I’m making assumptions based on how he’s presented in the show and what very little I’ve read. And one of these assumptions is that he’s an incredibly skilled fighter, either on par with or slightly above Leo’s level (except he’s killed people, because comic rules vs tv rules, but I don’t think that’d change whether he’s better, just more hardened). Another assumption is that he would have long internal monologues similar to Leo, but without the internal conflict. (I’m imagining like. Death Note-esque overthinking going on in those two.) So Usagi would be familiar with how people typically fight with nunchucks, and would have an idea from personal experience how Mikey might fight dirty, and he would try to get a read on if/how Mikey is telegraphing his moves, and wow this kid is not like his brother at all, but surely they trained under the same master and would have the same principles and move set, right? but this kid is doing way more backflips-

Meanwhile Mikey would be playing psychological warfare I can only describe as how I play rock-paper-scissors—thinking not just his own moves 3 steps in advance, but Usagi’s as well. He only needs 30 seconds watching Usagi move to figure him out. He gets away with the same fake-out move twice because Usagi would see the second one and go, ‘SURELY he wouldn’t fake me out twice, this is a ploy and he’s going to do it for real this time but wants me to think he’s going to fake-out again.’ Mikey would have to stay spontaneous and be both fast and confusing enough that Usagi can’t predictably hit or block him. It’d be a tougher fight than Leo’s because Usagi wouldn’t be held back by sentiment, but unfortunately this is the ninja turtles show, not the ronin rabbit cartoon, so Usagi does have to eventually lose to Mikey.

If Leo watched this fight, he’d be increasingly frustrated because he’d know exactly what Mikey was doing, he’s operating on a level just below the psychology he uses on Leo because Usagi doesn’t have a decade and a half next to this guy. He’d start twitching thinking about the moves Usagi should be making. Afterwards Usagi makes a friendly comment like “your brother is quite a formidable opponent!” and it takes all of Leo’s strength to be sooooo normal and gracious about it, “haha wow thank you, you did really well out there too!” and not just. seethe at how his brother played Chess 3 against the coolest guy/potential friend Leo has ever met.

Hey guys watch this I'm gonna start a fight

[threegoldfish]

Where Marc wouldn't be so easy to persuade - oh, absolutely not - Steven is... a lot more pliable in that regard, more... open, more receptive to someone being kind, offering him words spoken in a gentle, calming tone that seem to make so much sense. That... take away some of the fear he feels, some of that dread that had begun to bloom within the center of his chest - like a flower, just ugly and unwanted.

Does it still do something to him here, knowing that this is happening, that he is truly here, that nothing of what's going on here is created by a sleeping mind? ---Yeah, absolutely. But it's not frightening Steven as much as it would have mere moments ago - simply because he'd had the chance to come to terms with it on his own, and... honestly? With him sleep walking, waking up at strange places, it was bound to happen at some point, no?

---So, this isn't a dream. It's real, all of this is. As much as Steven had wished for it to be just that - a moment in his life where he goes through something fake until waking up - it's very much what he has to face now.

He's just so, so, so relieved to hear that he did not commit a crime, apparently. That he isn't restrained, that he isn't going to be wearing handcuffs, that he isn't going to be... punished. No punishment, just... just a Doctor trying to help, wanting to work on Steven's mental state, might be able to figure out why he is doing it so much... and why his body won't lest him rest in peace.

"...I just... ---Y-you know, I have been... I have been thinking 'bout whether I'm going bonkers, maybe..." A sniffle, a swallow, dark eyes glistening with the moisture that appears at the corners of his eyes as Steven continues to look at the Doctor, then glances to the side. Cradles the bottle a bit more closely to his chest even, which causes him to squeeze the plastic, pushing bright blue liquid dangerously close to where said bottle is still open and rubbing to a white sweatshirt. "...B-But thinking about it in a serious way is... hard. I was always afraid of... ending up somewhere, some day, and then there's all of those documentaries that tell of... o-of horrible psychiatric hospitals where patients are tied to their beds a-and... and cannot leave, have to stay there for the entire day, forced to take medication and... a-and... all of that..."

Another sniffle, and one of Steven's hands lets go of his drink, so he can use the back of it to wipe along his eyes - rubbing away some of those tears, followed by a sigh, him closing those eyes for a moment as he tries to collect himself. Counts to ten inside his mind in a steady pace before nodding, then flicking his lids back open to take another look at Doctor Harrow sitting there, regarding him with all the patience a man could wish for, honestly.

"So I... never went to the Doctor. Now here I am. M-maybe... maybe that's... my fault. Had I just kicked my arse and went to talk about my sleep-walking habit a bit sooner, perhaps I could've... I dunno, done weekly therapy or... something. But now I'm here, and I... I can't even remember what I did before I woke up in that chair over there..."

A pause, and Steven takes a few tentative steps back over to said chair - stops, looks at it, then... takes a seat. Holds that bottle on top of his lap now, gaze stuck on that desk for a moment.

All it takes is another second, and then he nods. Nods once more. Nods a third time before dark brown irises trail back up and meet the other man's own, accompanied by another set of furrowed brows and a reddened nose from all the sniffling, the somewhat-crying he's doing here - silent, but heartfelt.

"...I guess... I guess I have to be in here. It's what I should do. To... be here and... figure it out. ---Try to, at least, y-yeah? Yeah... yeah, that's... that's it, then..." ... "...---You said I have a room? That means... I've... I've been here for a little bit already? Does that mean I can just... go out there and... have breakfast? ...Do you serve vegan food? I... I'm vegan, a-and I'd prefer if I can stay vegan. I don't like eating animals..."

Arthur stayed seated, though every instinct in his body was alert. His stillness was easy to mistake for relaxation, even laziness, but it was far closer to restraint. A hundred tiny thoughts layered themselves behind his eyes, but he didn’t allow a single one to interrupt the moment he was sharing with the man. 

Steven. Not Marc. Not even close. 

The accent, the cadence, the posture - none of it was performed. It was too reflexive, too consistent, too whole. Too complete, and yet with no acknowledgment of being someone else. Not even a sense of a shift. It could still be regression, maybe. It could be a delusional overlay. Or… 

Gods, or it could be something else entirely. 

His hands folded calmly over his good knee, his posture open and safe as Steven turned to him with that achingly honest expression. It was a deep kind of sorrow, like a child catching himself just a second too late before tears would fall. 

Arthur’s voice, when it finally came, was again soft. Not pitying, but genuine. 

“Steven,” he echoed gently; validating, noting. Not correcting, not at all. That was what the man preferred to be called, right now. It was an oddity, but Arthur didn’t meet it with judgement or disbelief; he was just meeting the man there, in this new name he gave. 

“I think,” he spoke slowly, “That you are very scared. And that makes sense. When the world stops behaving in the way it should, when we don’t remember how we got somewhere or why we feel the way we do, it’s easy to assume the worst. That something bad must have happened.” 

He watched Steven’s face, his own tone remaining neutral and calm; grounded. Hopefully enough for Steven to cling to. 

“But I haven’t been told of any crime that you have committed. No one is hurt, here. You’re not restrained, there’s no surveillance, you’re not being punished. You’re here because you might need a bit of help, that’s all.” 

It wasn’t a lie, though it was a carefully formed truth. 

“You know that these… sleep walking events are a problem, right? I’d like to help figure out what’s causing them. That’s it, that’s all you’re here for.” 

There was no room for assumption, and no space for suggestion. Especially not out loud, to Steven; as nice as it felt to try and pick this apart. The man was obviously scared, and pushing too much could lead to another break; something that Marc’s mind likely couldn’t handle. 

“We’re just going to keep you here for a bit, if that sounds alright. We’ll have people watching you, to make sure you don’t end up sleep walking - and you’ll be able to talk to me, so we can figure out how to stop it. Does that sound like something that might interest you…?” 

[enjoyvoidblack]

our big post was getting long and it won't let me message so I thought I'd just come bother you here asldkfjsad I am like. so 1000% certain there is mention in the text that the initial purpose and efforts of Jonah and the Institute were to research the fears and prevent their many catastrophes, and that somewhere along the line he came to the conclusion that this wasn't viable, that the world and the fears simply didn't function in a way that was conducive to meaningfully stopping them from doing anything. which was how he settled into the position of 'well then I am going to use the instruments of power to save ME and build a ladder to free myself personally from their clutches forever' I def don't know when he started to turn from that, but i'll have to go back through the transcripts and find it again.

I do get that the narrative is written with Jon as the focal point, and that doesn't leave a lot of room for Elias to be sympathetic--he certainly doesn't make himself sympathetic TO Jon, or any of the Archives crew (beyond what I find to be an interesting amount of patience, understanding, and restraint he shows for them), but I still think like. Part of the beauty of Jonny's storytelling is that there is a kernel of completely understandable humanity to most everyone that's presented with any depth in the series, even the people we DON'T like. The "people here don't have excuses, they have causes" is again really excellent wording. There isn't really a lot of the usual karmic style reasoning or justice in this series; it isn't about Good People doing Good Things or Bad People doing Bad Things, it's just. People Doing Things, while under the influence of powers that are at once cosmic and beyond us, and inherently OF us.

adsfkjas this is getting long too I'm so sorry you activated a trap card here but idk. He absolutely is both manipulator and victim. He did all that shit, and all the while it's being done TO him, and he's walking this incredibly razor thin line between feeding his god/being empowered by it, and bc of it's nature knowing in intimate detail every nasty thing that awaits him should he fail (and I think being deathly afraid of it). That gif from Knives Out lmfao, compels me.

(apologies this probably isn't hugely coherent but there we are)

Thank you I am chewing on this ask violently. You Get It.

Unfortunate that tumblr killed your paragraph breaks, because I now can't find the section easily, but that thing about Jonny's character work in this series entirely consisting of aspects of "completely understandable humanity" is SO deeply how I feel about it. This is part of why I love horror of this kind so much. The horror being the fact that no one can really do anything to stop it opens up a space where the characters don't need to be presented along clear lines of good and evil, or even helping a cause or hurting it. It's a lot closer to how real people react in a natural disaster, if anything. There is love and selfishness and incredible acts of violence and cruelty and understandable failings and greed and fear, and pretty much all of it has a root that you can see, if you know enough about the people doing it and the circumstances to really feel where their mindset must be. I'd say Elias is functionally the closest thing TMA has to a narrative scapegoat, but that doesn't mean he is one. I almost feel like he's there as a pressure valve for the story, to be a villain if people need one to make sense of what's going on without having to constantly confront head-on the horror of the way the setting traps everyone in it. He can be made that kind of scapegoat, but only really by ignoring the parallels to Jon and the letters sent to him in older statements, and the way both show how the Fears drive the people who learn about them into more and more desperate straits.

It's kind of like that with all the older avatars. Simon Fairchild throws people off of stuff for a joke, because he's had more than 400 years of being steeped in the knowledge that humanity is both insignificant in the span of the universe, as well as utterly incapable of stopping the course of the Fears as they exert whatever influence they will by the force of sheer bulk. Peter Lukas never had a chance - he was born into this, isolation was his family and religion and paradoxically from childhood his only possible road to belonging. Adelard Dekker thought he was helping, as did Gertrude, even as they both fed the things that claimed them alongside those efforts. Nikola Orsinov was so far away from having an identity anymore that she couldn't go back if she wanted to, if she had even had enough left to want. Her world would have just been a home that was more like herself, and who hasn't wanted that? They're easier to vilify because their outlooks are harder to understand until the very end of the series, but looking back it's so clear that they were also just people once, and the writing never really lets you forget that.

If I said I'd tried to make all of these replies short, you probably wouldn't believe me. And Yet. I am not NORMAL about this show and the way Jonny writes people.

[david-watts]

anyway now that I can think a little straighter. that being said I am struggling to word how I want to say any of this. on one hand it's just autism reassessment for the moment. but on the other hand, I didn't want to pursue that. my m*ther did. why does she want me to do that. that's paranoia inducing on its own yet alone with any of the other things that are beginning to creep into my mind

[lord-squiggletits]

I was at a "making friends" kind of social event just this past week and ended up having two subsequent conversations with different people that gave me an interesting reflection on my own reasons for writing without me even intending to make the conversation about it.

First conversation: The person talked about the feeling of awe from being at a music concert and how incredible it is that so many complete strangers can be united by a singular love of music. I related to it with regards to my own writing and how many people have read my stuff. Ended up telling this guy about some of the AO3 comments I've gotten from people to the effect of helping motivate them to live/just reflect on life in general. Somehow went into a tangent about a suicidal friend of mine who died when we were in high school, and me saying that maybe the reason I write so much about the things I do is because of the influence his death had on me. And the other person ended up asking me, 'So do you think it's like every time you write, you're doing it in his memory in a way?'

Subsequent conversation was with someone who was a psychologist for a day job, and I ended up telling them that I was kind of thinking of getting a degree in psychology/therapy one day because writing about mental health issues had gotten me so interested in the world of helping people heal themselves. But then I was also like, "Well, I don't know, it could be that I don't need to become a psychologist to help people with mental health. Maybe helping people by being a writer and telling stories is enough."

It was just a surprising, but topical realization for me to have talking to a bunch of strangers. For someone like me who's often preoccupied with doing and having knowledge and expertise, I often fall into the idea that you need to be directly involved in helping people to really be making a difference. I've literally had thoughts in my mind along the lines of "I'm so smart, hardworking, and dedicated when it comes to writing, but wouldn't it have been so much more of a net gain to the world if I'd decided to be this passionate about something like being a doctor or activist that actually helps people?" It's not like I truly regret being a writer (or ever will, because there's nothing else that I love so much), but in my bad moments I truly do sometimes think "Why does it make a difference if I entertain people or make them feel nicer for a while if it doesn't actually change anything in the world?" To quote one of my favorite Transformers fics of all time, "There was nothing that would have been more worthwhile, but that didn't rule out the possibility that the whole damn universe was wasting its time."

I guess the answer is that making someone feel better, even in a small way, is changing the world, even if it's just a few people, and even if it's just as simple as making someone's day better.