#it honestly kind of haunts me

[piplupod]

in my writing class in grade 12, i was at like the lowest level of functioning i ever was while in k-12 school, so I was really struggling to keep up with schoolwork and could not devote the amount of time and energy necessary to remembering people's names.

i was assigned to put together the class group book, where we would all have one or two assignments from the class in one little book to take home. at the beginning of making it, i put in a bunch of placeholder random names in the table of contents just so i could get the layout figured out, and I told myself I would change them as I went along and added people's assignments to the book.

UNFORTUNATELY I forgot to change one of the names bc i could not remember her name and missed going over the table of contents to ensure I hadn't messed anything up, and the book was printed and we stapled it all together and handed it out and the girl whose name I forgot to change noticed the placeholder (i dont think it was anything mean or rude lol, it was just some random name) name still there and she was (rightfully) very upset and offended

and i feel so fucking bad about that to this day fhdjsl like I can't even look at the little book at all bc i just feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. idk how i could've avoided it bc i was extremely unwell (i was tossed into the psych ward literally two or three days after the grad ceremony a couple months later lmao) and definitely shouldnt have been tasked with putting that book together but man. i wish I'd checked it over better :''')))

[an-established-butt-dent]

'Harellan'

Solas: Dragon age

Mixed media on paper

[justabunchofdragons]

they were so insane for having house play "hugh laurie's cuddy's serenade" bookending "you can't always get what you want" as cuddy held her party with everyone else and their mother attending AND having her open the door only to drop her smile when it wasn't house. she really said "i DON'T want you there" and got upset when he didn't come. they drive me insane

[adamparrishsaccent]

i’m no kavinsky apologist but can i just say there was something so raw and despairing about his character that makes me wish he’d been able to be saved

i often see his character get reduced to just a chaotic druggie or some shit, but he was so much more and i think people sleep on that fact?? he was intelligent and perceptive as hell, and even though he was definitely bad for ronan, i think he served as a major eye-opener for him

without kavinsky, ronan may never have learned how to control his dreaming or take it to the extent that he is now able to. that’s not to say ronan couldn’t have done it without him, but kavinsky definitely played a major role in it, not to mention saving ronan from his nightmare creature

also, can we talk about how it gets so overlooked how upon kavinsky’s death, his closest friend was revealed to have been dreamt by him. he dreamt his best friend, someone to be with, someone to keep him company. he just sounds so fucking lonely and the way his character parallels ronan there really hit me because ronan’s father dreamt his wife. ronan dreamt matthew. ronan “jokingly” commented about dreaming adam

kavinsky’s entire character was meant to be a red flag, a stop sign, a warning. he ended up being one of those stories that you take as a lesson and then move on from. he showed ronan what could become of a dreamer who abused his power, but also what could happen if he threw caution to the wind and continued down a self-destructive path

yeah, he was a bad person, but i can’t help but think he deserved better

[thedreadvampy]

sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

[creatureesque]

Fun fact i love drawing dev patel's sir gawain a bit too much:

[sleepy-stitches]

won a big ass toblerone in a raffle today and it is so fucki g hard to not just sit here and eat the whole thing

[kyouka-supremacy]

Failed a social interaction 0 injured 1 killed (me)

[hahahalfwit]

ah fuck it. might as well.

art 1/2 of my little nightmare-induced horror game idea

[pyrriax]

ratios like this on writing is exactly why i dont main tag my writing. come on man. come on.

[piplupod]

just had possibly the worst nightmare of my life. yippee ^-^ <- is so horrified they are numb

[uncontrolledfission]

The most radioactive man in history

Post #18 in Physics and Astronomy, 07/02/2024

A story that chills many, astonishes others, and sparks controversy in most. A story enough to inspire the username you’re seeing right now. This is the brief story of Hisashi Ouchi, the most radioactive man in history.

Note: please be careful if you decide to look anything up. There are many misleading and frankly disturbing images commonly (and wrongfully) thought to be associated with Hisashi Ouchi. You have been warned.

Before anything, what is nuclear fission?

This is a science blog, after all, so I think it’s fitting to explain what nuclear fission is before anything. 

Discovered in late 1938 by German chemists Otto Hahn and Fritz Strassmann, nuclear fission is a reaction involving the nucleus of an atom splitting into two or more smaller nuclei. Alongside releasing gamma photons, a very large amount of energy is released, even when considered in the context of radioactive decay. 

In 1939, Hahn and Strassmann also elaborated on the existence of neutrons within the process of nuclear fission. This opened up the possibility of a nuclear chain reaction, since the release of extra neutrons could induce further reactions in other fissile nuclei, and so on. 

The products of nuclear fission are significantly more radioactive than the heavier elements that made it up in the first place. They remain radioactive for a long period of time, too, which is part of the reason why a nuclear chain reaction can be so incredibly dangerous.

The day’s events

At a uranium processing plant in Tokaimura, Japan, three employees, named Hisashi Ouchi, Masato Shinohara, Yutaka Yokokawa, were speeding up the processing of a batch of fuel to meet shipping requirements. The process they used wasn’t approved by the Science and Technology Agency, leading to a range of issue that ultimately led to their downfall.

The shape of the container, for one, was important. The designated procedure for dissolving uranium oxide powder involved using a narrow, tall tank; in contrast, a stainless steel cylinder was used by the team, which made the process rather prone to criticality. This meant the solution reached critical mass when there was about fifteen kilograms of uranium in the tank. 

For reference, “critical mass” is defined as the smallest amount of fissile material needed to create a self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction.

What was so dangerous?

A nuclear chain reaction can release several million times more energy than any old chemical reaction. When combined with the fact that this involves radioactive isotopes, and the reaction sustains itself, being exposed to a nuclear fission reaction can be fatal. 

The workers were only supposed to mix 2.4kg of uranium with nitric acid. Instead, they mixed up 16kg. 

At 10:35 on the 30th of September 1999, criticality was reached, which set off an uncontrolled fission reaction, emitting radiation for over 20 hours, which was quite possibility the worst case scenario for the three technicians present.

The aftermath

The magnitude of radiation received considered lethal stands at a whopping 7 Sieverts. For reference, the radiation the average person receives passively from their surroundings is approximately 2.7 millisieverts a year. That difference in itself is massive.

Ouchi, who was stood immediately above the tank to mix the fuel, received 17 Sieverts of radiation in one go. Just over 2.5 times the lethal dose. Shinohara received around 10 Sieverts, and Yokokawa around 3 Sieverts.

They experienced symptoms immediately, collapsing with nausea and quickly beginning to experience symptoms of diarrhoea and dehydration. 

On the other hand, outside of the plant itself, locals were warned by authorities not to drink water from wells or harvest and eat crops, for fear of further radiation poisoning. Many emergency workers and residents living nearby were hospitalised, and many, many others had to stay indoors. 

Ouchi was hospitalised for eighty-three days. His organs suffered damage, and his white blood cell count was near to zero. Many solutions were tested, but after numerous cardiac arrests, it was eventually decided he wouldn’t be resuscitated a further time, since his body wouldn’t handle it either way.

Masato Shinohara, on the other hand, died four months after Ouchi from organ failure. He had survived, but eventually succumbed to infections worsened by irradiation.

Yutaka Yokokawa received treatment and was released three months later (he was slightly further away, meaning he received less radiation). He later faced negligence charges. 

The incident had many after effects, from the JCO paying $121 million in compensation to settle nearly 7,000 claims from people nearby who were affected. In early 2000, the company’s president resigned. Seven months later, six officials from JCO were charged with negligence, having failed to ensure technicians were fully trained, and subverting safety procedures (as an incident similar to this had occurred in 1997, but no further safety measures were taken). 

Many suggest that Hisashi Ouchi was kept alive against his will. Though it is impossible to say for sure what was going through the heads of the doctors and close family members around him, it is a stretch to attribute what we can to hesitance in letting someone go to human cruelty. It’s also worth noting that Ouchi’s family wished for him to be resuscitated each time, hoping to see a cure to his suffering.

[theotherrichardpapen]

nigel & alex - to be haunted by your love

henri nouwen // like minds (2006) // death - melanie martinez // pope alexander - crywank // her mother's kiss - eugene carriere // sometimes i fall asleep thinking about you - catarine hancock // the song of achilles - madeline miller // achilles lamenting the death of patroclus - gavin hamilton // lee martens

[elytrafemme]

to be entirely candid july was such an insane month for me mental health wise. like i have been to therapy for YEARS and i am only just uncovering that i have the severe fear/guilt that if i am not productive i will be abandoned, and that i have OCD-like 'episodes' (?) that have sent me into psychosis in the past that i just assumed were... normal. and then also realizing that i was like massively fucked with during my senior year in such an insidious way that i never fully got until last month, as i otherwise blamed myself. and that's just a sliver of it? like. shit. psychodynamics really works man. also pro tip don't evade telling your therapist information just because you think it's "normal" if it feels bad because you might just end up saying something that in hindsight is a really unheard of experience

[stoleyourgender]

pov: you're me, listening to malevolent, having a great time, but every half an hour or so there is a sudden and aggressive vibration that feels as if it had come right from behind you. when you turn around, there's nothing there. this only happens SPECIFICALLY when you're listening to malevolent.

[braisedhoney]

So you said a while ago underfell was your favorite au before. Is that still true or?

Also who’s your favorite character from whatever au you like?

damn, you were around for that? :'D

yeah, underfell used to be my favorite! i think it was smth about being really edgy as a kid, or maybe it was because red was my favorite color. idk man, even now i gotta admit those designs slap really hard.

i'm not really sure if i have a favorite au now though. i do have some ideas for underfell that i like, but i think i see the appeal of most aus bc i just like making new scenarios.

i like the big three a lot (classic, fell, swap). sans is my favorite in classic (predictable i know) if you're not counting gaster, since he isn't technically a canon character. i like both fell paps and fell sans equally, and swap paps is cool. i'd be buddies with that guy.

(i also really like asgore in undertale. the tragedy of the grief-stricken ruler who kills even though it's against his nature for the freedom of his people but also because he's long past convinced he's in too deep is really compelling to me, and by proxy i'm interested in the theoretical stories of all the fallen humans including frisk. also the whole thing with their broken family and chara and—

—whoops the ask is about aus not canon lmao, sorry!)