#it hurts a lot jsjsjs

[fella-lovin-fella]

just saw a picture on instagram of a parent getting a tattoo of their trans kid's name removed because "that's not who my baby is anymore" and now im crying jsjns

[lususnatura]

🎤

a song that i associate with my muse meme!

AHH, hello, chrome!! thank you for the ask (: i appreciate you guys sending these in SOOO much, tbh, but allow me to introduce y'all to a new BANGER that is kind of sad and yet... i think it captures one part of blamore's character that i haven't really talked about before (an explanation as to why i associate this song with my muse will be in the tags):

sade - is it a crime.

[borathae]

The Consequences of Fucking Up

“Your break up was messy and painful. All you want to do is to forget about him. His friends, who ever since you ended it with Yoongi see you as their bullying target, make sure that the memory of him stays fresh in your mind however, haunting you day by fucking day. While Yoongi makes it seem as if he gives no fuck about your situation. Until one night he is in front of your door. Drunk and fucking regretful.”

♥️ Requested by anonie ♥️

Pairing: Gangster!Yoongi x f.Reader

Genre: Exes!AU, Messy Break-Up!AU, Crime!AU, Cop!AU, Hurt and Comfort, Angst, Smut, a lil bit of Fluff

Wordcount: 15.9k

Warnings: lowkey they're bad for each other, but also somehow so right?, OC is such a people hater, I feel like she has mental health issues which are never addressed tbfh, she is quite the pessimist, unhealthy consumption of alcohol, smoking of cigarettes & weed (listen. i hate smoking and stand by that but it sadly fits their characters), Yoongi is kinda apathetic and cold, or is he??, IS HE???, implied violence and murder, corrupt cops & lawyers, policeman!Jungkook makes an appearance and he stole my heart tbfh :(, he is so cute that i almost sobbed, drugdealer!Hoseok makes an appearance too, there is also detective!Namjoon and smuggler!Taehyung because I love this vibe :); abuse of power, fuck Yoongi just fuck he is so ngngn, slightly protective & possessive!Yoongi, intoxicated sex, desperate!Yoongi, no foreplay, but she is not uncomfortable, choking (m.receiving), rough desperate sex, position change from sex against a sofa to missionary on said sofa, a lil bit of strength kink hihi, he cums too soon, dirty talk, tears :'), he is actually so emotional during the sex, the ending is so cheesy and cute <3, Spoiler: he is willing to change!! and he is a cutie actually, jsjsjsj sorry but i love yoongi a lot :(

Disclaimer: This is purely fiction and isn't like my usual stories. It does not portray how the boys actually are and it is not how I see them. This is a work of fiction with no correlation to real life. The type of relationships depicted in this story are far from how I normally portray my relationships and I do not advertise for such relationhips or staying in such relationships. This story is supposed to be twisted and dark & so are the relationships in it, as well as the characters. You have been warned. If you decide to continue reading, then it is out of your own free will.

a/n: now that the disclaimer is out of the way i can officially bark because woof woof fuckkcc anonie thank you so much for this idea. i had the worst and best time writing this story like nfnfnf her mental state was definitely very difficult to write, but their tension just got to me. i made the ending as cute and fluffy as possible just as you wanted hihi <3 also i love villian characters who would set the whole world on fire just to prove their dedication :) i hope this is what you imagined, because i kinda made it longer and with more plot than i planned to at first sjjsjs i couldn't be stopped jsjsj ALSO this is giving me the perfect opportunity to finally write a Kook request I got years ago ohoho

Yoongi collides with the wall, feeling the cold nuzzle of the gun press against his chin. He drops the keys and flowers he was carrying, lifting his hands in defeat.

“Careful, it’s just me”, he lulls.

“Get the fuck out of my house”, you spit, carrying murder in your eyes. 

Three months prior

“So you’re breaking up with me?” he asks, gawking at you with widened eyes. He looks more surprised than he does hurt. Probably because it hasn’t actually sunk in yet.

“I am.”

“No, you’re not.” He laughs because he never takes anything seriously.

“Yes. I am.”

“Too bad, I won’t act like it.”

“Yeah, you will.”

He laughs, “you’ve had better jokes, but I still admire the commitment.”

“You see. That’s the problem with you. Everything’s a fucking joke to you.”

He is smiling. It reaches his eyes.

“Your job, your men. Me. Everything’s a fucking joke to you. If you would have taken Sukuna’s thread seriously, Soojin would still be alive. If you didn’t fucking insult Miss Mei, you wouldn’t have lost twenty thousand in drugs and you wouldn’t have to fucking kiss asses like a beggar.”

His smile doesn’t reach his eyes anymore.

“If you would have put any kind of effort into me, I wouldn’t be leaving now. You take everything as a joke, while in reality you are the biggest joke here.”

His smile falls. You stood up and that actually scared him. 

“Wait baby, wait. Princess, we can talk about this”, he argues, closing the distance with his arms stretched open. “I’ll fix the issue with Miss Mei, I promise.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m done talking. Soojin died because of your recklessness.” 

Yoongi touches your hands. He holds them, clutches them. You have never felt such a touch from him before. As if he actually loved you. 

“What can I do? Tell me and I’ll do it”, he offers, caressing your knuckles. 

This is what you craved for months. Affection. Attention. You were always a passing thought to him. Something to fuck and possess. Something low maintenance like all his other shit. His current touch almost makes you want to stay because for the briefest moment, your breaking heart wants to believe that he finally changed. 

But you know better. He doesn’t take you seriously and if you stay, you will one day end up like Soojin. Metaphorically or not, you will end up dead because of him. 

“There is nothing you can do. Sorry.”

You slip out of his touch.

“Baby”, Yoongi follows you with panicked eyes, trying to touch you again.

“Goodbye, Min Yoongi.”

“Please don’t leave me.”

You close the door and run, finally letting the tears escape. 

You love him.

You always have and perhaps always will. 

You don’t want to leave, but know that staying will kill you. 

One week passes. You spent it holed up in your small, shitty apartment, crying your heart out. Yoongi was the best and worst thing that ever happened to you and you miss him. You hate that you miss him. Because he was way worse than he was good. 

He was never abusive. He was a violent man to anyone but you. You, he always touched with utmost care. At you, he never screamed. But he was still not good. He was cold and apathetic at times, then terribly affectionate at others, only to become cold again. And you couldn’t take it anymore. 

You wouldn’t have left your apartment today if your fridge hadn’t been empty. It wasn’t always empty, but sadly enough, groceries don’t magically appear. Not even for an outlaw such as yourself.

The city is busy. The smell of street food, smog and body odor poisons the air. The weather is hot these days and people started sweating more. You can’t stand people. You pull the mask tighter around your nose, hoping to shield the stench this way. 

You greet the clerk when you enter the shop, lowering your mask. It smells of grocery store in here. Fresh bread, produce and clean floors. It’s a welcome change to the rancid outside.

You spent fourty minutes in the shop and pay with cash. You never pay with card because it can be traced. Someone like you can’t risk being found. 

“See you”, you say your goodbyes and leave the store. You plan on coming back in three weeks. You can’t stand being outside often.

The door just about closed behind you and then someone jumps you. Three people to be more exact. Two hold your arms while one rips the bags out of your hands. 

“Let go! Hey, you fuckers!” you fight them off instantly, surprised at how easily it is to do. Way too easy. They let go of you as quickly as they grabbed you. At first you think that nothing happened, until you notice your grocery bags in one of the guys’ hands. They stole your stuff!

“You motherfuckers! Get back here! They’re mine!” 

They run away, flipping you off over their shoulders.

You sprint after them, but before you reach them, they jump onto a tuk tuk and drive off, finally showing you their faces. Those were some of Yoongi’s underlings.

“What the fuck?” You stumble back in disbelief. “Did they fucking steal my food? What the fuck’s happening?” 

It takes you a while before you finally come to the conclusion that you have to buy everything they stole a second time. And you do. And nobody jumps you. And you go home, make yourself shitty dinner and drink a bottle of soju all by yourself. It isn’t a good night. It’s a shit night. But then. All your nights have been shit for years.

You met Yoongi four years ago. It correlates with when your shit nights began. Okay, you are being unfair. The first two years with him were paradise and your nights were wonderful. You were an aspiring lawyer, while he was in the midst of getting a promotion to superintendent.  You supported each other’s dreams, motivated each other and celebrated when your goals were achieved. Then the truth spilled out. The man you knew to love turned out to be a lie. Why you never left, you do not know. He gave you the chance to leave, but you didn’t. You made yourself low maintenance to him and your nights became shit. He pretended to be a proper policeman by day while you pretended to be a proper lawyer and at night he became what he hunted by day while you tried to hide whatever evidence about him flooded into the offices. You hated it at first, then loved it, then lost your job because of it and became dependent on him and started to hate it again. Well, at least working for him. You liked everything else. Having to work in the system and seeing how corrupt even the most eligible politicians or CEOs truly are, made you realise that perhaps stealing from them isn’t as bad as it first sounded. You liked being on the dark side of the law because the bright side was just as twisted. You just simply started to hate that it means being close to Yoongi.

It took Soojin’s death to finally make you realise that staying with him will end in your death as well. And so you finally left.

You will start a new life, make up a new identity, move to a different country and forget about him. Maybe. Who knows. You haven’t decided yet.

A letter comes five days after the grocery store incident. It is stuffed into an unsealed envelope and clearly delivered by the person who wrote it. You open it, feeling shit instantly. Whoever wrote this letter is calling you the most hurtful of names, telling you personal stuff which truly hurts. You throw it away and go back inside, opening a bottle of soju. It wasn’t Yoongi’s handwriting, but somehow you still think that it is connected to him. You try not to let it get to you, but you still end up rotting away in your bed for the rest of the week only leaving it to piss, shit and eat. 

The next week your packages are missing. You never get them back. The culprit is never found. You curse the sky, knowing that it was fruitless. Yet again, you think that it was connected to him. To Yoongi, the man you wanted to forget, but who keeps haunting you day by day.

The city at night is a dangerous place. If you don’t know where to walk, you could find yourself in a rather messy situation. Especially as a woman. You are glad that most women are clever enough to stay at home once darkness greets the streets. Most women don’t know how to defend themselves though. Properly and without the law in mind. You killed before. Once. It was self defence. Yoongi took care of the body, you never found out what happened to it. He stayed with you the night it happened, even let you cry in his arms. He was gone the next day and never spoke of it again.

You clutch the big knife tightly in your bag, scanning the streets constantly. It isn’t far anymore until you are home. Hopefully the heavy rain clouds stay dry until you get there. You aren’t in the mood to get wet. Not tonight. You would have never left if you hadn’t ran out of fucking cigarettes. The kiosk was closed, so the journey was useless. Thunder announces that the clouds aren’t your friends. Mere seconds later, it starts pouring.

“Fucking shit, I hate this city.”

Rain in this city is always dirty and never really cold. You take it as a bad sign. Rain shouldn’t be warm. Not always, not constantly. Something’s wrong with this city. Something is rotting slowly until one day it will consume everything in its wake. You hope to have left before it can wake up.

The way home is too long for the amount of dirty rain it pours. You find refuge under a shop sign. There are no rooftops or canopies in sight and the only thing close to a safe place was the stupid restaurant sign. Authentic Asian Beef Noodles, it reads in bright red letters. The place is stuffed with people and the smell of beef broth mixes with the dirty scent of rain. You grind your teeth. What a shitty situation you find yourself in. You prefer being outside though. You know that once inside, the restaurant would be hot and stink of digested booze and body odor. You take getting wet over breathing in people’s air.

Except that you don’t really stay wet for long. The distinct sound of rain hitting an umbrella meets your ears. You look up. Black. You look to the side at the person holding it. Yoongi. Your stomach twists, your heart skips a beat. He is wearing a suit tonight. Black with a black tie. His hair is slicked back. He used makeup to  conceal the scar running all the way from his forehead over his eye and down half his cheek. This is his work outfit. His police chief outfit. Yes. He is a chief these days.

Your instincts tell you to leave without saying anything, but it’s been six weeks since the breakup and you still love him. You hate that you do, but can’t stop staring at his face. He has his brows raised in a nonchalant way as he inspects the heavy rain. He doesn’t grant you eye contact, but holds the umbrella in a way which lets you know that he came out here after seeing you. His left shoulder is getting wet, while you stay dry completely.

“What are you doing here?” you hear yourself ask him.

“Work dinner. I have to pay ‘cause I’m the boss and all that shit. They’re eating like greedy pigs”, he scoffs, “fucking assholes.”

“I see.”

“You?” 

“Buying smokes.”

He finally looks at you, studying from head to toe.

“The kiosk was closed”, you answer his question about your cigarettes’ whereabouts before he can ask it.

“I thought you quit.”

“Some things happened which made me start again.”

“Mhm”, he hums and takes out a packet of cigarettes from the inside of his suit jacket. He lights himself one and puts the packet away again, leaving you to stare at the smoke he blows out through his nose.

He isn’t actually serious, is he? It is like he is mocking you. It is already bad enough that he sends his stupid goons to terrorise you, now he is mocking you as well? You hate that you still love him.

You stay like this for a while. You staring at him while he holds the umbrella for you and smokes. You don’t know why you stay. You hate that you love him. You hate it so much.

Yoongi takes a long drag of the cigarette and exhales the smoke in an almost sigh-like breath. He lifts the cigarette, holding it closer to you.

“What?” you sound disbelieved, scandalised even.

He doesn’t say anything. He just shows you the cigarette as his eyes follow the endless rain. You hate that you love him. You hate it so much. But you still take the cigarette and put your lips right where he had his’ moments before. But you still smoke it as if it was the most normal thing to do. Because it once was. You and he shared many smokes in the past. It was once the most sensual, erotic thing to do between you and him. Barely clothed, intoxicated minds and high on the other, you often shared a joint as you got each other off. Fuck, it was always so fucking orgasmic to be with him that way.

“Wanna grab a bite?” he offers, pointing at the restaurant behind him, “one more mouth to feed isn’t gonna ruin me.”

You are hungry. You haven’t had a proper meal in weeks. Instant ramen, frozen food and snacks is all your body has to run on. You have no energy to cook and with how shitty you eat, it is a vicious cycle. Shitty food gives little energy, you already have low energy. The motivation to properly cook grows lower and lower each day. You dread the day you have only enough energy left to open a package of chips and eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

“I’m not hungry.”

He glances at you. He knows that you are lying. Your eyes have greyed in starvation. He almost rips the cigarette out of your fingers and smokes it angrily, huffing out the smoke. 

“I’m offering”, he hisses.

“And I’m declining. I can take care of myself”, you throw back and rip the cigarette from his grasp to smoke it angrily. 

You may be starving, but you will be damned if you make yourself dependent on him again. You left him to finally prove to yourself that you can take care of yourself. You don’t need his help. Not anymore. 

You take another deep drag, then hand the cigarette to him. He smokes it, glaring at you. You know that your stubbornness angers him.

“Tell your men to stop pestering me”, you say into the tense silence. 

He looks over his shoulder at his police team. They are too drunk and caught in conversation to pay their boss any mind.

“They’re inside”, he says.

“You know I don’t mean them. Tell your other men to stop annoying me.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Yes. You do.” It is your turn to smoke. “It all started when they stole my groceries, but it’s been getting childish. My packages keep getting stolen, my internet cuts off, I find letters in my mail. Letters saying awful things about me. It’s getting ridiculous. Tell your men to stop terrorising me.”

“Stolen packages?” He takes the cigarette from you, brushing his fingers against yours as he does. The touch feels like the sweetest poison on your skin. “This doesn’t sound like my problem to solve. Go to the police.”

“Are you serious?” 

He inhales, exhales the smoke into your face. You should be disgusted by it, but almost huff it in like an addict. Yoongi watches your lids lower and your chest raise in a greedy breath, finding it hard not to stare at your lips as he hands you the cigarette. You smoke it. His eyes are still on your lips, glued to the shape of them as his throat runs dry.

“Very serious”, he rasps.

“You are the police”, you throw back in disbelief, exhaling the smoke into his face that way.

“Mhm yeah, I guess I am.” He takes the cigarette, smoking it with half lidded eyes. He exhales, handing you the cigarette. “When are you going to come home again?” he asks, looking back at the rain.

You almost choke on the smoke, exhaling it in a cough. Yoongi glances at you from the corner of his eyes.

“Your farce is getting ridiculous”, he says coldly.

“My farce?”

This break up wasn’t the first break up you and he went through. You left many times before, always thinking that you were finally strong enough to forget him only to come crawling back again. You don’t blame him for doubting that this time will be different, but you still can’t stop yourself from getting angry.

“Did you even hear what I said?”

“I did. Go to the police. I have nothing to do with it.”

You drop the half-finished cigarette. It dies in the puddle on the ground.

“I was smoking this”, he says dryly, “besides, don’t litter.”

“Pick it up yourself if you care so much about these dirty ass streets”, you spit and turn to leave. You take getting wet over being with him any longer.

Yoongi watches you leave, shakes his head in disbelief and bends down to pick up the cigarette. He won’t run after you because you will come crawling back eventually. You always do.

“Sir?” 

He turns his head. One of his officers. He is young and with sparkles of big dreams in his eyes. Yoongi pities him. This city is going to chew him up until there is nothing left of him. He had the same dreams once and knows what the viper nest, which is the justice system, is going to do to him. 

“What do you want?” he asks him dryly, rolling the wet cigarette between his fingers.

“Who did you talk to right now?”

“Just someone important to me.”

“Shouldn’t we escort her home? It’s raining and there could be criminals on the streets. It’s too dangerous for a woman to be alone.”

“She’ll get home safely.”

“Are you sure, Sir? I stayed sober for cases like these. I could get the car right away.”

“You’re sober?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“But it’s a work dinner. You’ve been off work for hours.”

The young officer salutes, “I know, Sir but a policeman shouldn’t slack, Sir.”

Yoongi feels deep pity for the young man. He is so motivated, so proper and full of good spirit. Waking up is going to hurt like a bitch for him.

He pats him on the shoulder.

“You’re a good person, Jeon”, he says and swerves past him to get back inside. 

The young officer follows him with pride glimmering in his innocent eyes. Yes, waking up is going to hurt like a bitch for him. 

Yoongi wasn’t always living two lives. He was like his young officer once. Full of dreams and motivation. He dreamed of using his powers to do good, to help those who needed it most and then he woke up. He watched politicians and men in power ruin, rape and kill the powerless without ever getting punished for it. He felt helpless. If even someone in his position can’t change the world, then who will? His criminal work was honourable once. He slipped evidence money under the table to hand out to the powerless, he let proof disappear for people doing crimes out of desperation. One time he was supposed to put a starving mother behind bars because she stole diapers for her babies. Yoongi couldn’t do it and so he disobeyed the law for these kinds of people.

But then his criminal work became less about the powerless and more about him. Making money the illegal way was easy and it is fucking addicting. Especially when he could make sure that evidence about him never reached the higher ups. Yoongi fucking loved the sudden power he possessed and he was too blinded by it to see that he became exactly what drove him to criminality in the first place.

Yoongi tells his officer to check up on your place that night. The young officer rings the doorbell like he was told to do.

You open it, swaying from intoxication as you do. The stench of digested booze wafts off you. But you somehow seem to sober up when you see the police badges on his shirt.

“You’ve got the wrong person”, you tell him, trying to morph your face into an expression of sobriety.

“Don’t worry, Miss. I came here to check on you.”

“Check on me?”

“Yes, Miss.” He salutes you. “I have orders from my captain to make sure that you arrived home safely and that you received this”, he says with an innocent smile on his lips, presenting a plastic bag to you. 

Authentic Asian Beef Noodles, it reads in red letters and inside, three big takeout containers of food are waiting to be eaten. 

Everything clicks into place. This is one of Yoongi’s employees. Another young, hopeful spirit which will be crushed in the system. You pity the young officer. You had the same innocent sparkle in your eyes once.

Hesitantly, you accept the takeout food.

“Thanks”, you mumble.

“Any time, Miss.” He studies you for a moment. “Are you…are you okay, Miss?”

You bite back tears. His empathy is going to kill him one day. But it feels so good to receive. You haven’t been asked this question in so long.

You shake your head. He straightens up in worry. 

“Should I call help for you, Miss?”

You know what he indicates.

“Thank you, no. I’m just going through some shit. Sorry, I’m being sappy tonight.”

“You don’t have to go through it alone, Miss.”

“I know. I’m just… I’m seriously alright, I won’t do anything stupid. You don’t have to worry, officer.” 

“Yes, well I still see it as my duty to stay because you seem sad to me”, he says and tries to go inside your apartment. He still has a lot to learn. You know from his eyes that he has no bad intentions and that he truly wants to help, but you know how the city will treat such deeds. One day he will try to help the wrong person and end up with attempted sexual assault charges. And it will fucking destroy him because people like him only see the good in the world and can’t imagine that others would want to hurt people.

You stop him with a guiding hand on his chest.

“That isn’t necessary, really. My packages keep getting stolen and I guess it’s been annoying me.”

He pulls out a pen paper instantly, stepping closer to you without noticing, “your packages? Have you seen anyone suspicious? How many packages have gone missing? When did it start?”

“No, I… Thank you for your concern and the food, but I will get through the night safely.”

He steps back, cheeks reddened in embarrassment.

“Forgive me, I don’t know why I did that. My captain said that you were important to him and that I should make sure that you are well, so I wanted to do a good job at it.” He bows at you deeply. “Please forgive me, Miss.” 

“He said that?” you whisper.

He nods his head, “yes, Miss.”

“Oh. Uhm. ” You clear your throat. “Thank you, I, uhm, tell him that I’m good.” 

“I will, Miss. Here, my card. You can always call me when you need something” he hesitates, “or when you just need someone to talk to.” 

“Thank you. This is so kind.”

“You are never alone, Miss.”

“Thank you”, you say, bowing at him. He is so kind. God, you want to grab him and tell him to run before it’s too late.

He bows as well, “good night, Miss.”

“Good night.”

You watch him leave. He gives you one last look out of the police car and a kind wave, then drives off. 

You close the door with a curse. This just sobered you up. The young policeman’s kindness just sobered you up. You check his name on the card he handed you. Jeon Jungkook. Why someone like him? He never should have found his way into this field of work. 

You look at the takeout food next, feeling your stomach twist. You are important to Yoongi. Holy fuck.

It’s been eight weeks since you left him. You don’t feel better. The cigarette you shared was two weeks ago and yet you still feel as if it was sticking to your lungs. Each time you breathe out, you swear you can taste him. It almost suffocates you and keeps you from relaxing. So you leave your depressing place for a walk to the kiosk. You read somewhere that walks are good for one’s mental health. You can’t agree. Walks force you to be outside where people are loud and fucking stink.

The vendor must be fucking with you. The day is bright, but the kiosk is closed again. You bang your fist against the closed door, cursing loudly. You want your fucking smokes is that too much to ask? This city is fucking shit.

You’ll just call someone who will always help. You saved him as Jay. His real name is Hoseok. You don’t say his real name in public. He doesn’t say yours. Yoongi sometimes called him his best friend, but what is such a title out of the mouth of the most apathetic man you know? You were his girlfriend too and look at where this has gotten you, living as an outlaw in the shit and dirt of this city.

Like always, Hoseok lets the phone ring four times then he picks up.

“Flames are hot”, he says.

“And the arsonist works hard”, you answer him.

“Hyacinth, it’s good to hear your voice”, there is finally a smile in his voice now that you answered the code correctly.

“The same goes for you, Jay.”

“What’s up? I haven’t heard from you in ages.”

“Nothing much. I’m out of smokes.”

“The corner in twenty?”

“Yeah.”

You and he end the call at the same time. Twenty minutes later you meet. He wears black overalls and smudged eyeliner. He says it keeps the char easier to hide. Like always, he greets you with a quick hug.

“What do you got?” you ask him.

“Whatever you want.” He opens his bag. “I’ve got cigarettes, but something stronger too”, he says, scurrying around the contents of the bag with his fingers. He always has burn marks on them, but somehow they are never dirty.

“What do fifty bucks buy?”

“For you? Two packs of cigarettes and two joints. That’s a steal.”

“Fuck dude, you’re getting expensive.”

“Yeah well, a man’s gotta eat.”

“Fine, I’ll take it.”

You and he exchange goods. He makes small talk.

“But why are you here with me? Did Suga run out of goods?”

Suga is Yoongi’s codename in public. The sound of it almost brings bile into your throat. You did such a good job in forgetting him and now the memory of him is as fresh as a new day. At least you like to pretend that you are doing a good job at forgetting him. Your heart knows better though.

“We, uhm…”

Hoseok exhales sharply, “again?”

You nod your head.

“When?”

“More than two months ago.”

“Damn, that’s long.”

“Yeah, I’m serious about it.”

He cocks his brow up.

“I am”, you insist just a little snappishly.

“Alright”, he closes his bag, “I gotta go now.”

“Already?”

He looks around nervously. Almost as if he didn’t want to be seen with you.

“Yup. Use the stuff wisely, I won’t have new stuff for a while.”

“Seriously?”

He nods his head and salutes you nonchalantly.

“See you around.”

“See…you?”

He turns his back to you and walks off quickly, soon disappearing into the busy crowd. Is this your fate? Even the people closest to you avoid you now that you aren’t Yoongi’s anymore? Were you truly only worth something as his little thing? You ball your hands into fists, bending the joints this way. You have to leave this fucking place. There is actually nothing holding you here anymore.

That night the phone terror starts. Numbers keep calling you over and over and over again. You pick up the first time, only to have to listen to the most hurtful things another human has ever said to you. The voice wasn’t Yoongi’s, but you still blame him. Now that you aren’t his thing anymore, you became free food to whoever had been waiting to make your life a living hell. You turn off your phone after an hour and go to sleep with the help of Hoseok’s joints.

The doorbell wakes you the next morning. You consider not answering because it’s probably just one of his goons wanting to terrorise you. But whoever is ringing the doorbell is stubborn, forcing you out of your bedroom. You look through the door cam first.

That young officer. He is in full uniform.

You open the door hesitantly.

“Good morning”, he greets you with a wave and a smile.

“Good morning”, you murmur. Your mouth is as dry as a fucking desert. You are also so hungry that you could throw up in his face right now.

“How are you feeling, Miss?”

“Good.”

“That’s good to hear.” He says and shows you a package which he kept hidden behind his back all this time. He smiles brightly and proudly. “Tada!”

“What’s that?”

“I caught the package thief, Miss.”

“Are you serious?” you gasp and your eyes instinctively drift to the car you have noticed parked outside your unit for days. The door is opened and someone is sitting in the backseat. He looked cuffed to the seat. You glance at the young officer and the shiteating, proud grin he is sporting. He has been watching you? Did Yoongi tell him to?

“Wait. You’re actually serious.”

“Very serious. For you, Miss”, he says and shoves the package into your face.

“Uhm, uh. Thanks”, you accept it, putting it under your arm. “Have you been watching me?”

“Did you notice the car? Sorry, I thought that I was better hidden. I’m still new to all of this. But I caught the thief, heh.” He points at himself with his thumbs. “That’s my first real arrest.”

He manages to drag an honest smile to your lips. He is kind of adorable in a way.

“That’s cool. Thank you for taking care of it. Now I’ve got nothing to worry about anymore.”

He grins and nods his head, studying your features afterwards. He opens his mouth.

“Jeon are you there? Over”, his walkie talkie interrupts whatever he wanted to ask you. He takes it off his chest harness.

“I’m here, Kim Sir. Over.”

“Come to the precinct. We need reinforcements. Over.”

“Coming right away, Sir. I caught a thief right now, Sir. Over.”

A pause where the higher officer is definitely baffled by his confession.

“Good job, Jeon. Over.”

The young officer giggles before he speaks again, doing so as seriously as possible.

“Thank you, Kim Sir. I am taking the criminal to the precinct. Over.”

“Understood. Over.”

He puts the walkie talkie back on its harness and gives you a sorry smile.

“That was my boss. My other boss, not your friend who is the boss of this boss. Anyways. I have to go now, duty calls. Are you going to be okay, Miss?”

“I am. Thank you for your kindness.”

“Anytime, Miss. Uhm, have a good day”, he says and leaves with a wave of his hand. He waves again as he drives off. You retort it, staring at his car until it disappears behind a corner. You sigh deeply. He is so nice. Why someone like him? Why does this life always find people like him?

It’s been ten weeks since you left him. You read somewhere that walks are good for your mental health. You still can’t agree. Walks force you to be outside where people are still loud and still fucking stink. But it’s better than staying in your apartment. You’ve got new neighbours since Monday. They keep fucking like actual animals. They fucked when you left your place tonight. You were this close to kicking their door in and slaughtering them like pigs. You opted for a walk in the end.

You walk for a while then sit down by an empty bench next to the river. It is quiet. Nobody is really here. At least nobody important. A couple, how disgusting. A late night jogger, clearly a man. A homeless person, who uses another bench as their bed. You hate looking at homeless people because you feel helpless seeing them. You stopped being on the bright side of the law because of people like them. You thought that maybe if you stole from the corrupt men in power often enough, you would be able to help the ones who truly needed it. But you never managed to actually achieve anything. The homelessness in the city grows, while the pockets of the politicians become fatter and fatter in wealth. You fucking hate this city. It is rotten to the core.

“Look who we have here. If that isn’t our pretty little Hyacinth.”

You aren’t quick enough to get up to leave and then you already have two men throwing their arms over your shoulders while a third is grabbing the back of your head from behind. You try to reach for your knife but can’t. Their grip on you is too good.

“What are you doing here all alone?”

Their voices are familiar and one look at them confirms your suspicions. It’s them. The same three underlings who stole your groceries months ago.

“Leave me alone”, you tell them.

“Why should we? You are all alone. If the boss knew we’re leaving you alone, he’d grow angry.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Now, now don’t be like that. You’re just a girl and there are many dangerous men out there.”

You look to your side. One of them is licking their lips like a hungry animal.

“Yeah? And you’re being fucking inappropriate. Leave me alone”, you spit, shaking off their arms.

They let you. Just as they let you stand up and take your bag.

“Goodnight”, you tell them and leave. Quickly. You walk a good hundred feet until you finally dare to look over your shoulder only to realise in horror that they are following you. Quickly.

You can defend yourself. You know how to kill, but you also know when you are outnumbered. And three bigger men against a woman is sadly never going to end well for the woman. You hate this city and you hate this life. You know that their words were nothing but provocation. They know you aren’t with Yoongi anymore, that you aren’t under his protection anymore and that in some weird way, you sullied his honour. You also know how people who bring dishonour to the gangs of this city are punished. The men are murdered and the women, well, they are murdered too but not before being sullied themselves. You hate this city and you hate this life. This life which is going to fucking end for you soon.

You dare to look over your shoulder one more time. They are so close that you can see the hunger in their eyes. No. Nononononono. It can’t end like this. You were supposed to leave this city, start a new life, forget about Yoongi. You are not going to die here in this dirty, shitty park far away from your dream.

Thump.

You bounce back from the impact, letting out a blood curling scream. It was instinct. Just as it is instinct of the person you ran into to grasp you by your arms and pull you closer again.

“Let me go! Help! Help me!”

“Quiet”, the person hisses and shakes you. This voice sounded different. Familiar in an almost intimate way.

You dare to shift your eyes to them.

Yoongi.

“I, I, I”, you stutter, feeling delirious in both fear and shock. You grab his shirt, twisting it to get closer to him. The act is intimate and out-of-place but you are too frightened to think clearly. 

Yoongi brushes over the state of your glassy eyes to look over your shoulder. There are three men suddenly scurrying away, using the darkness to hide. He managed to get their faces.

He looks back at you. Your eyes meet. A little bit of clarity returns to you. What are you doing? Your fingers soften around his shirt. 

“I don’t…”

“Come on, we’re going home”, he say sternly and puts an arm around your waist, dragging you with him like this.

You follow him all the way to his car. You even let him sit you down on the passenger seat and you even stay seated when he rounds the car to get to the driver side. You think that you are in shock because you don’t protest when he starts the car, nor when he drives off. You simply stare outside with your knees turned to him because your body acts against your consciousness. The city passes you by in flashes of neon colours. His car smells like his cologne and leather. He has no music playing. 

Yoongi glances at your face. You have your head against the window, squeezing your hands between your thighs. The neon lights illuminate your features each time he passes by another light source. He can see that you are trying not to shake.

He takes a deep breath, shifting his eyes to the road. He has to grip the steering wheel, otherwise his hands would shake in anger.

“Should we get dinner?”

His voice rips you from whatever trance you were in. You sit up straight, looking at him. He is gripping the steering wheel to the point his knuckles pale. His long hair is hanging into his face tonight. A turquoise varsity jacket adorns him. His scar wasn’t hidden behind concealer. He wasn’t working his day job today. What was he doing at the park? Why was he there?

“Take me home”, you order him.

“I am.”

“No. Home. Not your place.”

“My place is your home”, he gets out through gritted teeth.

“No, it isn’t. Not anymore.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Did you see what they were doing to me?”

“No.”

You are lost for words for a moment. The tears come afterwards.

“Stop the car.”

Yoongi looks at you because your voice was shaking. He holds his breath at the sight of your tears.

“What?” he makes sure.

“Stop. The. Car. Now.”

He laughs and shakes his head.

You pull the knife out on him. He swerves to the side on instinct, fixing the mistake so vigorously, you and he shake in the small space. You don’t let it affect you, holding the knife against his skin.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he hisses.

“Stop the fucking car or I’ll kill us both”, you spit, holding the knife against his throat.

“Fuck”, he growls and hits the steering wheel. The car rolls to a stop.

“Get out”, you threaten.

“I am. Fuck.”

He follows your orders because you have his life at blade’s end. He still slams the door closed. You leave the car instantly.

“What the fuck were you thinking? You could have killed us both” he tries to scold you, but you silence him.

“I’m talking now”, you roar.

Yoongi closes his mouth because he has never heard you like this before.

“You are such an asshole! Each day I regret the moment I met you! You are the worst thing that ever happened to me!”

Yoongi gulps. 

“I had a life before you. I had dreams and ambitions and, and goals and…a chance. I could have had a good life. I was supposed to use my degree to help people but you ruined everything for me.”

He rounds the car in big steps, coming so close to you that you smell his breath. It smells like chewing gum. 

“You could have achieved something? What exactly did you achieve as a lawyer? Mhm, what did you achieve? This city is fucked.”

“Yes, because you fucked it!” you hit his chest. He doesn’t budge, but also doesn’t stop you. “You fucked it and you fucked me and I hate you for it!”

“Don’t blame me for your decisions. I gave you a chance to leave me back then. You were the one who stayed.”

You inch closer until your lips are almost touching. Yoongi exhales shakily, placing his hand on your hip. 

“And I will regret this decision till the day I die”, you whisper, breaking the closeness.

You slip out of his hold. He follows you in a small stumble and a trembling gasp. 

“I never want to see you again. Are we clear?” you hiss at him.

“Don’t be fucking ridiculous, you don’t want this”, he hisses back at you.

“You’re wrong, I don’t want you. I thought I still did, but I don’t. You don’t care about me, it’s finally so fucking obvious to me. You don’t fucking care.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“They are terrorising me, Yoongi!” You finally scream. “I wake up to people ringing my doorbell in the middle of the night, I have to keep my phone turned off because the phone calls don’t stop. I keep getting my stuff stolen and, and I thought I was going to be raped tonight! They are terrorising me and you called it not your problem!”

“No, you-”

“I’ve been living in constant fear, our friends don’t even look at me anymore, I haven’t eaten in days and I can’t-”, you stop yourself. He doesn’t even deserve your anger anymore. “-you know what? Fuck this and fuck you. I’m leaving.”

You turn your back to him and leave. 

He says your name and takes your hand. He pulls, tries to turn you to him. But you rip yourself free again.

“Don’t go”, he says.

You don’t listen.

“I’m ordering you to stay”, he sounds desperate, yelling your name, “I am ordering you!” 

He can yell as much as he wants to. You don’t listen to him anymore. The subway station isn’t far. You will make an exception and take it tonight. Even if you hate it. It stinks. Just like the rest of this shitty city.

You are going to leave. Once you are home, you are going to start packing and then you are going to leave. You will call V. You don’t know his real name, but he can change your identity as quickly as others change their socks. You will call V and tell him to have your passport ready the day after tomorrow. You will pay him with the money you have under your pillow and then leave for somewhere clean. Maybe somewhere with lots of mountains. You always heard that the air at these places is breathable.

You call V the same night. He tells you that two days is too short and to wait another week. So you wait. Your bags have been packed. You live out of them in your own place. You don’t leave it. You are scared. With how little Yoongi cared about your situation, you doubt that he told his men to stop. You are scared that if you left again, they would finally go through with what they couldn’t finish back then.

The doorbell rings during a rainy, dark night. You flinch awake to the point where you feel sick to the stomach. The lights are turned on instantly eventhough you know not to do that in such a situation. You can’t think clearly. You just want this to be over. All of it.

You run to the front door because you suddenly feared that it was unlocked. It isn’t, but you can watch someone push an envelope under your door. The shadow blocking the light outside leaves the moment the letter is inside your apartment.

You don’t want to open it at first, staring at it as if someone had planted a bomb in your apartment. Fuck it, if that is how you die then so be it, you think in the end and bend down to pick it up. It feels different in your fingers. Sophisticated. Intimate. The envelope is glued closed as if someone licked the glue stripe and the faint smell of well-known cologne lingers on the paper. You open it with shaky fingers.

A letter. It is heavy and folded once. You open it, gasping when three photographs fall out of it and onto the ground. You don’t know what is on them because they landed on their face side. So you read the letter first.

“It has always been mine as well.”

Written in black ink and a familiar handwriting. This is Yoongi’s writing.

With even shakier hands, you pick up the pictures. You feel sick for a moment, gawking at the cruel pictures with your hand thrown over your mouth. The three men who terrorised you. Their mutilated corpses look back at you. He tortured them to death.

You rip the door open, stumbling onto the balcony. You look down at what tripped you. Two bags of your favourite takeout food and a six pack of water. Both clearly fresh. So it was him. Yoongi must be here somewhere. You look into the distance. The night is loud and blurry in a thunderstorm. The streets are empty. The ghost of your past is gone again. You squint your eyes. A person.

“Yoongi!” you call out, unable to realise that you are smiling and waving your hand.

The person moves. Oh. It was just the shadow of a tree. For just a moment you had hoped that the dark shape was him waiting for you. It was just a tree…and you were happy that if could have been Yoongi. The realisation hurts.

“Fuck”, you press out, going back inside. The lump in your throat makes it hard to breathe. You stumble back to bed, halting for a moment when you pass your suitcases.

It has always been mine as well. His words repeat themselves in your head. All this time, you thought that he didn’t care. All this time, you thought that your terror left him cold. Your eyes drift over the empty takeout boxes from the noodle place. You still haven’t cleaned them up. He made sure that you were properly fed for days back then. A glance at the new stuff he got tonight. He is still making sure that you are. Your eyes drift over the package next. He made sure that they stopped getting stolen. You look at the pictures in your hands. He made sure that they would never hurt you again. All this time, you were so blinded by your own anger that you missed how he had always looked out for you. You missed his way of showing you that you were important to him.

It has always been his problem as well.

Something inside you breaks and you scream. You don’t know what you scream for, but you scream. It hurts so much. It hurts so much because you will still leave. He will hurt you again if you stay. All his efforts healed your heart and it hurts so much because you will still leave. You were meant to stay broken hearted. Leaving would have been so easy this way. Now it hurts like a bitch. But you can’t sway. You have to leave this place. It will chew up what little is left of you until you truly cease to exist.

V comes to your place the next day. He rings your doorbell. It wakes you from the uncomfortable sofa you fell asleep on last night. You groan as you sit up and you barely want to open your eyes as you stumble to the door.

You open it without checking the camera first.

“Took you long en- you?”

Jungkook, the young officer, greets you with a smile.

“I swear I’m not stalking you.”

You have a headache today, so it is difficult not to snap at him. He is also not the person you wanted in front of your door today.

“I’m starting to doubt that.”

He laughs, “it’s not that. I talked to my boss. Your friend, the boss of the other boss. Sorry, anyways. I need you to come to the precinct with me.”

“What? Why?”

“Okay so, this is actually so cool and I shouldn’t even be telling you this, but you’re my boss’ friend so I guess it’s okay”, he begins with sparkling eyes, “turns out that the package thief is actually a serial thief and you aren’t the first one he stole from. Isn’t that cool? It’s like in those movies. Those cool cop movies.”

“Really? He stole from more people?” You highly doubt that.

“Yeah”, he laughs as he answers you, nodding his head excitedly, “now we’re calling in everyone who he stole from so we can take their statements. My boss says that we can’t keep the thief locked up for long otherwise.”

You know that this wasn’t really how the law works. After all, you were once a lawyer who was fucking good at her job. Is Yoongi trying to drag you back to him? First he tries to change your mind by killing your bullies and now he is trying to do the final blow by abusing his power as police chief? You check the time. Couldn’t the young officer have come later? You could have had your passport already and be far, far away from this place.

“Can I just give it to you here?” you ask him.

“Mhm”, he tilts his head to the side, “no, I don’t think that it works like this. I’m sorry, Miss. The captain said that it’s important that all the victims come into the precinct.”

You have to give Yoongi that. He is real clever about it. That means however that you can’t escape this situation. Any more resistance from you would make you suspicious.

You give up with a sigh. “Can I just change into something different?”

“Of course, Miss.”

The young officer lets you sit in the passenger seat. He is so new at all of this. With such naivety he tells you his entire life story. That he was from the countryside and that his dream has always been to be a policeman in the city. That he studied hard for years and that he completed his enlistment with honour just so he could be a proper officer. He sounds so proud of himself that each second with him makes you hate his presence more and more. He is so fucking stupid and it angers you. Why would he throw away his life like that? Why someone like him?

You are led to one of the precinct’s interrogation rooms and are told to wait there. The table is decked with different foods.

“What’s all that?” you ask Jungkook.

“Breakfast, Miss.”

“Did your captain tell you to do that?”

“He said that wanted to make sure you get your breakfast because we called you in so early. The captain really cares for the citizens.”

You stifle a scoff. Sure he does.

“Mhm, I see.”

“Either way, it won’t take long”, the young officer bids his goodbyes and leaves you in the interrogation room.

His words were a lie. You wait and wait and wait, but nothing happens. There are no clocks in this godforsaken room, but you still know that it has to be hours. You didn’t want to eat the breakfast at first, glaring at the two-way mirror because in your mind, Yoongi was behind it, watching you and making sure that you ate. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction at first, but had to in the end. The body begins working against one’s will when it is starving and the breakfast looked way too good. You eat all of it, then glare at the mirror again. You are still left alone and more time passes. It is as if they are trying to wear you down, as if you were the criminal in this situation. Granted, you are a criminal, but only Yoongi knows that and right now you are a poor civilian having done nothing wrong. You know that it’s Yoongi’s doing. That he somehow wants to terrorise you.

So when the door finally opens and he walks into the room, you almost throw the empty bowl at his head.

“Forgive the wait, Miss but something came up”, he says nonchalantly, flicking through some papers.

His second in command Kim Namjoon and the young officer Jeon Jungkook are behind him, which is why he is putting up this act. You grind your teeth.

“I already started to wonder if I’m in danger here”, you say way too sweetly.

“That depends on how you are going to answer our questions”, he says and sits down on the chair in front of you.

Jungkook stays by the door while Kim Namjoon stands a little to your side.

You look around yourself. He is trying to intimidate you.

“What’s that supposed to mean? I thought that I’m here to give my statement because of my stolen packages.”

Yoongi glances up from the papers. This is the first time your eyes meet after your fight and he killed your bullies. If only the others in this room would know how much blood he has on his hands and to which length he is willing to go to protect you. There were times where you would have dragged him over the table and kissed him senseless, but not anymore. You are stronger than your urges, even if it hurts your heart. You can’t give in again. If you do, he will take you for granted again. You won’t be happy with him. You finally have to fucking understand that.

“You’re right. You are here because of that”, he says dryly.

“Good. It started on May sixteen. I came home at around seven ten and noticed that my packages were missing. Two were stolen back then, but in total he stole eight packages”, you say and proceed to tell him the exact dates with the time as well as what was stolen.  

“You seem to know how such hearings work”, he says after he wrote down what you said.

“I had a few hours to practice what I was going to say”, you say with a poisonous smile.

One Yoongi retorts with just as much poison and a deep hum.

“Apologies again.”

“Don’t worry, I know how hard the police works at keeping this honourable city safe.”

He tongues his cheek. You give him a victorious smirk. This cut. Good. He takes a deep breath and releases it through his nose, reaching into his suit pocket to pull out a cigarette. He gets as far as to put it to his lips and then Kim Namjoon already speaks up.

“Captain. Smoking is prohibited in this building.”

“Fuck”, Yoongi presses out and takes the cigarette between two fingers to tap it against the table instead.

“Smoking is bad for you either way”, you say.

He tongues his cheek again. You know that he wants to curse at you right now, but can’t. He has to put up a friendly act.

“I know, can’t shake the habit”, he says and studies your face, “so what now?”

“Sir?” Kim Namjoon is rightfully confused. Yoongi slipped up.

“I don’t know, I was never in such a place before. Do you still need to take my information?” you act oblivious.

“We already have everything.”

“Great. Then I can go?” you ask, fluttering your lashes innocently.

“I don’t know yet.”

“Sir?” “What? Why?”

Yoongi shifts in his chair until he manspreads like an idiot. He crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“What are you going to do now?” he asks you.

“Uhm…is this still part of my hearing?” you ask, glancing at Kim Namjoon.

“No of course not, Miss. Please, follow me.”

“Sit. Down.”

The room is silent for a moment. You glare at Yoongi while Namjoon and Jungkook gawk in complete confusion. Their captain acts out of character. There is no reason to keep the innocent lady here any longer. This isn’t like him at all. He has been fidgeting all day, barely drank his coffee, went for far too many smoke breaks and now this. The officers have no explanation for their captain’s sudden behaviour.

“What is the reason for this?” you ask him.

“Just safety precautions. We wouldn’t want our honest citizen to get into danger”, he says coldly, “now answer my question. What are your plans now, Miss?”

“I will go home.”

“Where is that home?”

“Sir, I don’t know if that is necessary.”

“Shut up, Kim.”

Namjoon gulps, exchanging a confused look with Jeon Jungkook. This is really not like their captain.

Yoongi straightens up and leans forward so he is closer to you.

“Where is that home, Miss?”

You lower your eyes in anger.

“I don’t know yet, I’m planning to leave this city.”

“What?” his voice shook as he spoke. His fingers close and break the cigarette that way. His eyes almost bore holes into yours from how deeply he stares into them.

“This city’s become too depressing for me. I plan on leaving it for good.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do. There is nothing holding me here anymore.”

“Yes, there is.”

“No, there really isn’t. I will leave.”

Bang!

You flinched back. Namjoon and Jungkook tense up as well.

Yoongi slammed his hand on the table, jumping to his feet.

“No the fuck you won’t!” he yells.

“Sir? What are you doing?!”

“Excuse me? It’s my right as an honest citizen to move”, you act oblivious as well.

“Keep her here”, he talks to Jungkook, pointing at him, “lock her up and keep her here.”

“Under what pretence, Sir?” the young officer asks with widened eyes.

“I, I, I don’t know. Refusal to, to, to cooperate or some shit like that”, Yoongi never stutters and he never paces, but he is currently doing both of those things.

“Sir…is…this legal?” Jungkook asks shyly.

Yoongi is by Jungkook’s side within a few steps, grabbing him by the collar.

“Do as you are told, Jeon! Unless you want to lose this job!” Yoongi growls, making Jungkook whimper with fear.

“Captain Min, you are stepping out of place”, Kim Namjoon speaks up, dragging him away from Jungkook, “and get off this poor officer’s neck. He is just doing his job.”

Yoongi whips around, now targeting his anger at Namjoon.

“If he was doing his fucking job, he would lock her up”, he hisses, pointing at you.

“I need you to step out for a moment, Captain”, Namjoon says and gestures Jungkook to open the door. The young officer obeys, holding it open as Namjoon shoves a protesting Yoongi out of the room. He closes the door again, muting the vivid fighting Yoongi was doing with Namjoon outside.

He meets your eyes, smiling awkwardly.

“Please forgive the Captain, Miss. He is very concerned about his citizens’ safety.” He is a terrible liar, but you don’t blame him. If you were in his situation, you would have no idea how to explain such a situation to a supposed innocent citizen either.

“Don’t worry. I, I’m just wondering if maybe I can finally leave? I’m sorry, this just really scared me and I just want to lie down at home now”, you act shaken up, looking at the young officer with pleading eyes. 

“Of course, Miss. Our honest apologies again, Miss. Please follow me”, he says and leads you out of the room.

Yoongi and Namjoon are still arguing, but stop when they see you come out. You lock eyes with Yoongi for the briefest of moments. 

He closes the distance and grabs your wrist, dragging you with him with such vigour that nobody truly gets time to act. Not even you know what was happening to you until you find yourself in his office with the door slammed shut. 

“What are you doing?” you gasp.

“Shut the fuck up, you’re not the one asking this question right now!”

“Yoongi, lower your voice. This isn’t the place for screams.”

He steps closer to you, pointing at your face in warning.

“I have every fucking right to scream right now and you know that”, he presses out through gritted teeth.

“Why? Because I finally don’t need you anymore?”

“You can’t move. What the fuck are you thinking?”

“I’m-”

‘I'm not done”, he interrupts you, “I killed them for you. I did it. Just for you. Because your safety matters to me. I care.” He hits his own chest. “I showed you that I care and you’re gonna leave?”

You hate that you love him, but not for the usual reasons. You hate it because it hurts. You are going to leave despite not wanting to. You love him, perhaps you always will but you are also going to leave. 

You nod your head.

Yoongi exhales shakily, taking a stumbling step back. He stares at you as if you were the ghost whose haunting hurts him the most. He huffs out air, rubs his hand over his mouth, then runs it through his hair and down the side of his neck.

“I’ll kill the thief”, he says in the end.

“What?” 

“I'll make it seem like suicide. He’ll look like a pisser who couldn’t take prison and killed himself.”

“Are you out of your mind? He’s just a thief.”

“Well, what more do you need?!” he screams

“Nothing! I don’t need anything from you!”

“Why not? I can give you whatever you want!”

“Look at you. Now that you finally realised, I’m actually serious about the breakup, you wanna act like you care.”

“I care”, his voice broke, but you are both too angry to acknowledge it, “i-i-if I knew that you- I just-” He breathes in, breathes out, rubs his mouth, then his neck. “It can’t end like this. It can’t.”

“It can. I’m done begging you for everything.”

Yoongi steps closer.

“I can-”

“Sir? What is the meaning of this?” 

Kim Namjoon and Jeon Jungkook are in the office. The rest of the precinct gawks at you and Yoongi through the doorway. The latter lifts his hands and steps back. His fingers are shaking. 

“The captain just voiced his worries for my move. Don’t worry about it, Kim Sir”, you lie and turn to leave, “may I finally leave?”

Namjoon tells Jungkook to handle it with a nod of his head. The young officer points at the open door.

“Please after you, Miss.”

Yoongi says your name. 

You look at him over your shoulder, despite knowing you shouldn’t. He takes a step closer, lifting his brows in pleading. Don’t give in. Don’t give in. Don’t give in. You ball your hands to fists and turn your back to him.

Yoongi tries your name again, hoping for another look. One which doesn’t come. 

“Come back”, he tries, but gets stopped by Namjoon.

You can hear them talk as you leave.

“What the fuck’s your issue, man? You’ve been weird all day and now you’re screaming at citizens?”

“Watch your tone.”

“Hyung, I’m not here as your colleague right now. I’m here as your friend.”

“She’s gonna leave, she can’t…”

Jungkook leads you away from the office before you can hear Yoongi’s full answer. 

“Are you crying, Miss??”

“Hm? Oh that, don’t mind them. It’s just…” Your heart is broken and you want to run back to Yoongi. “...forgive me, I’m just a little shaken from everything.”

“I’m sorry, Miss. The captain isn’t normally like this.”

“It’s alright. I know how Yoongi can be sometimes.”

“Yoongi?” Jungkook asks, glancing at the captain’s office. He wonders what kind of friends you and he are. Maybe Those kind of friends? Is that why you are important to the captain? 

“I mean…sorry, I don’t know why I said that. I just wish to go home now.”

“Of course, Miss.”

“Oh god, I don’t even have money for a bus ticket with me”, you murmur to yourself, looking for your wallet. This is all a scheme to get Jungkook to drive you home again. You are worried that if he didn’t, Yoongi would somehow get to you before you could reach the station.

“Don’t worry about it, Miss. As a policeman, it is my duty to make sure that you get home safely.”

“Really? I wouldn’t want to waste your time.”

“Of course, Miss.”

And so he takes you home and you hate yourself because of it. So it began. You were the first person who used his kindness to her advantage. You were the drop beginning the inevitable filling of the tank until one day it will swap over. And once that happens, it is almost impossible to stop the leak. Fuck, you are just as terrible as everyone else in this city.

But the young officer is oblivious to what you just did, driving you home with a kind smile on his face. He even walks you to your door and stays as you unlock it. Your neighbours are fucking again. He glances at their door, then awkwardly at you.

“Yeah, I’ve got new neighbours. You can’t go over there and flash your badge and tell them to shut up, can you?”

“Of course I can, Miss. Just one mom-”

“No stop, I was joking”, you stop him, studying him with exhausted eyes. You are so sorry. You are so fucking sorry.

“Ah, okay. Please forgive me, I always take everything way too seriously”, he says, scratching his own neck shyly. He furrows his brows. “What’s the matter, Miss?”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Of course, Miss.”

“Run.”

“What?”

“Run back to your hometown. Run and never look back.”

“Excuse me?” he laughs in confusion, furrowing his brows harder.

“You’re a good person, Jeon Jungkook. This city will fucking ruin you.”

“I…uh…” He laughs nervously. “I don’t seem to follow, Miss. Sorry.”

“You don’t need to get it, just listen to me. Please.”

“O…kay? I uhm…”

“Thank you for driving me home. I’ll think of you sometimes in my new home.”

“Miss, are you okay?”

“I am. You don’t need to worry about me anymore. Just promise me to run.”

“I promise?”

“Good. Be happy, Jeon Jungkook.”

“Miss, I-”

You close the door on him and lock it. You don’t expect him to knock or ring the bell. He is too proper to annoy you this way. You check the camera. He stares at the closed door for a few moments longer, looking confused. He lifts his hand to knock, hesitates and turns his back to the door instead, leaving down the steps to drive off. You know that you confused him, but you had to. Please let it be enough to save him.

V arrives later that day. He is stressed and clearly in a hurry.

“What’s wrong? You look like you need to be somewhere or like you need to shit. Do you need to shit?”

“What? No”, he sounds out of breath as well as annoyed, “I’m risking my ass being here. I’ve got your stuff. It’s the only thing except mine that I managed to save. Give me the money, quick.”

“Save?” you probe, giving him the money.

He stuffs it into his boxers hastily, looking over his shoulder again.

“My place got raided by cops. I was at the market getting food, then came back to five cop cars in front of my place. I barely escaped. If I didn’t always carry my stuff with me, I’d have been fucked.”

“What?!”

“Sorry, Hyacinth. Gotta leave the city for a while. I wish you all the best.”

“V, what the fuck?”

“Here’s to never seeing each other again, aye?” he jokes, laughing nervously. It’s a good thing he said. Never seeing each other again meant that you and he managed to escape safely.

“Wait. Where will you go?”

“I can’t tell you. You know I can’t.”

“Yeah, just…be careful.”

“You too.”

He leaves and you know that he will be successful. If there is one person who won’t ever be found it is V. 

You are in a trance for the rest of the day. Yoongi raided V’s place. He went as far as to betray his own people just to make sure that you wouldn’t leave. Carrying your new passport feels like a trophy, as much as it feels like a curse. Leaving this city won’t be as easy anymore now that he knows. You are so fucking stupid for telling him, but you didn’t want to miss out on his reaction when he found out. The small moment of satisfaction seems skippable now that you know how far he is willing to go to keep you close. And because V came as late as he did, your means of escape don’t drive anymore either. You have to wait for the earliest bus if you wanted to or not. Fuck, you did this to yourself. You stupid fucking woman. Look at you. You have this big, honourable degree and still manage to get yourself into shitty situations over and over again.

You go to sleep with a gun under your pillow. You won’t risk anything.

You don’t get a lot of sleep and then a noise wakes you. You heard it as clear as day. Someone unlocked your front door. He sent men to get you. Now he’s gone too far. You jump out of bed and grab your loaded gun, tiptoeing to a spot from where you could observe the apartment. You have to be strategic about it. First count the men, then calculate the fastest way to shoot them, then act. The door closes and locks again. Clever bastards, they want to make sure that you don’t flee. Oh, you are going to have a blast killing them. One last little thing to leave Yoongi before you abandon him.

The automatic lights turn on. Got you, assholes.

The first enters your vision.

“Hm?”

Yoongi. Clearly drunk, he is dragging his feet over the floor, using the wall as support. No one else follows him. So he came here alone. 

Overtaken by anger, you jump out of hiding and at him.

Yoongi collides with the wall, feeling the cold nuzzle of the gun press against his chin. He drops the keys and flowers he was carrying, lifting his hands in defeat.

“Careful, it’s just me”, he lulls.

“Get the fuck out of my house”, you spit, carrying murder in your eyes. 

“I can’t believe you’re still hiding your keys under the flower pot. Don’t make me so worried, anyone could enter.”

“I’m gonna count to three and if you haven’t disappeared by then, I’ll shoot.”

“Can we talk?”

“One.”

“I know I fucked up. I can’t stop thinking about you. Please, can we try again?”

“Two.”

“I promise I changed. You were right, I was a joke. But I wanna do better now.”

“Three.” “I’m sorry!”

Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut. His death never comes. He peels his eyes open again.

You are staring, panting heavily. Tears are in your eyes.

“I’m sorry”, he whispers.

This is the first time he is the one to say these words first. It feels so good, but you can’t give in again. You made up your mind to leave…didn’t you? You study the state of him. He is heavily intoxicated. He looks the way and reeks of it.

“You’re drunk.” 

He nods his head, furrowing his brows. He touches your elbows, caressing them softly. Such touch you only get when he is drunk.

“I drank because of you. What you said today. I just…don’t move away, please”, he begs, eyes filling with tears.

“So now you care? I wasn’t important to you when I was with you and now that I’m leaving, I’m suddenly important?”

“You’ve always been important.”

“No, I haven’t. You took me for granted.”

“I did and I’m sorry. I never should have taken you for granted. I’ll do better now, please just give me a chance to prove it to you.”

“If I give you a chance again, you’ll just abuse it and hurt me.”

“No, I won’t. Please, I just.” He cups your face, running his thumbs under your eyes as gently as possible. “We were right once. We were so good together. We were a team and, and we had dreams and we made each other happy. I want this back, I wanna try to get this back again please.”

“I just want to be happy, Yoongi”, you press out.

“I’ll make you happy, baby. Please, I-I’ll make you happy again.”

“No, you’re drunk and talking fucking shit.”

“I’ll leave this city if you want me to.”

You falter. He would give up what he built just for you?

“You wouldn’t do that.”

“I would. For you I would. I’d set this whole city on fire and leave with you as it burns to fucking ashes behind us, please.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Please”, he whispers and drops his forehead against yours, “please, I want to make you happy again.”

You hate that you love him. You hate that he made you addicted to him. This is so awfully him. He gives you enough affection that you get addicted to it then takes it away again. And once he feeds it to you again, you drink it up like an alcoholic. It is always the same. 

“No, you won’t. You’re drunk.”

“Please.”

“Leave my place.”

He presses himself off the wall and grabs the nuzzle of the gun, guiding it right between his brows.

“You have to kill me if you want me gone.”

You gulp. He forces your finger to the trigger. Your airways close up.

“Kill me. Fucking kill me. I can’t live without you anyways.”

You could end it. You’ve got everything. Your suitcases, your papers, the keys of his car he drunkenly drove like an asshole. You’ve got everything you need to escape this place. You could end it, finally make sure that you have no temptation to return. You could end him and your addiction with it. He’s got your finger on the trigger, it needs just one flex and it would be over. But you never wanted him dead. No matter how much you wished for him to be gone, you never wanted him dead. Because in some fucked up way, all you really wanted was for him to put more effort into you.

“No”, you whimper, shaking your head. 

He rips the gun from your fingers and drops it on your dresser. 

“I don’t want to kill you”, you press out, sobbing softly. 

He cradles your face, wiping your tears. 

“I know”, he gets out, nodding his head, “I know you don’t, princess. I know.”

“Yoongi”, you squeak out, twisting his shirt. 

“I’m here, princess. I’m here.”

He pulls you closer until his kiss is just one breath away, feeding on the shaky breath you let ghost against his lips. His drunken eyes gaze at your mouth, his heart is racing in his chest.

“Push me away”, he tells you.

“I hate you.”

“And I love you.”

“Yoongi”, you whimper, finally touching his chest instead of his shirt. 

He moans and pulls you into a kiss. A deep, hungry kiss. 

You pull at his hair to get him off of you as much as you pull him closer, fighting for air. You hate that you love…do you really? Do you really fucking hate it? Do you really hate it when his kiss makes you feel alive again? You spent months feeling out of breath and now it’s gone. You can breathe again. At least metaphorically, physically he’s got you very close to passing out. You push at him to get distance. Air. He lets you breathe, but not escape. He pushes you to your sofa until your legs collide with the back of it. Your shaky breaths intermingle, your shared moans follow. His right hand slides to your ass, his knee lifts to your middle. 

You gasp, grinding down on him. You can’t protest because he kisses you so deeply it feels as if he wanted to consume your soul. He kisses and gropes, kisses and gropes until air is sparse. He gasps.

“Fuck. Fuck, I’m fucked”, he gets out and pulls your head back so he could drag his tongue up your throat. 

It should disgust you, but it doesn’t. You moan, running your nails down his chest and arching your back. He lifts his head, looking at you with drunken, crazed obsession. His fingers just can’t stay still on your body. It is as if he wanted to touch everywhere at all times. The attention makes you short of breath.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.”

You touch his cheek. He leans into your palm, closing his eyes when you trace his scar. You were with him when he got it. It was during a fight. He fought with his fists, his opponent chose the cowardly way and pulled a knife on him. He was lucky that he didn’t lose his eyesight. He hated it at first, but you made him feel handsome. You always looked out for him that way.

“Do you…do you think I’m handsome?” he asks. Such questions you only get when he’s drunk. 

“I do.”

His breath trembles as it leaves him. He drops his hand from your hips to take out his cock. He touches himself, gazing at you as if he needed the view of you to stay hard. And he does. He needs you. You are the only person who can turn him on.

You look at what his hand is doing, gulping heavily. He sighs, gazing at your face. You are as mesmerised by him as you were when everything was still good between you and him. His cock still has the same effect on you.

“Princess?” he tilts your head back up to meet your eyes, using only two fingers under your chin for it. 

You meet his eyes, heart racing unbearably.

“Yes?” One little lift of his brows and you give him the answer he craved. 

You part your legs, tilting your hips closer to him. You nod your head vigorously, gazing at his cock again.

He doesn’t bother to pull his pants down all the way, neither does he care about taking off your panties. He pushes them to the side and stuffs you full of him, gripping the edge of the couch and your right thigh as deep moans leave him. Your right leg is lifted like this, supported by him.

You gasp, tensing up. Your toes curl instantly, your fingers clutch his lower arms. His cock stretches you out and stuffs your walls. It’s not uncomfortable, but it is definitely intense. You gasp again, looking at him with widened eyes.

“I know baby, I know”, he breathes and bottoms out. “It’s been too long. Fuck.” 

He moves, chasing your warmth in drunk, sloppy thrusts. You writhe and gasp repeatedly, scratching the back of his neck. You want to hate that you love him. He should feel like an intruder. You should want to kick and scream for help. But you don’t want to. You feel whole again. No preparation, but he doesn’t hurt. His kiss and touch was enough. Your addiction to him runs so deep that his cock is pure heroin to you.

“Yoongi”, you get out, grabbing his throat. Your thumbs are on his Adam’s apple, threatening to press down.

He smiles, “I love you”, he gasps out and drops his head against yours. His long hair tickles your face, his drunken breath swirls over your skin. He gulps and moans under your fingers, pumping into you with no signs of slowing down. You start losing strength in your calf, standing like this is exhausting, but if you were being honest, you don’t want it to stop. 

“I hate you.”

“Fucking kill me then”, he rasps.

You close your fingers slightly.

“Harder. This isn’t gonna do it.”

“You first.”

“Fuck, baby”, he gets out and lifts you so he could round the sofa with you. He pins you down into the pillows, ripping the panties off of you and kicking his pants off. He pushes into you before you can truly realise what was happening, feeding you all of him until he can’t give any more. He twists the pillow next to your head as he takes on a punishing rhythm. His dark hair hangs into his face, his teeth are bared as he huffs like an angry animal.

“Yoon-”

“I know, baby I know. You already told me, baby. I know”, he whispers, wiping your cheek, “take me, I know you can. You’re my baby, you’re made for me.”

His praise is like medicine to you. This is all you needed. To know that he is still obsessed with you and that you still affect him. 

You close your legs around his hips, keeping him with you this way. You need him to always stay like this. He moans your name, slipping his fingers from your cheek to hold the pillow instead. You told him that you hated him, but your body betrays you. Your eyes betray you. You keep him close, gaze at him as if he was your everything. Yoongi’s head is turning. Not only from the alcohol, but also from being with you again. And from knowing that you still loved him.

Because he loves you so much. He hates himself for taking you for granted. He never should have. You are his everything. The fucking reason why he does all of this. The last three months were torture for him. He started smoking again, drank too much, slept too little, worked too many hours. And if he didn't distract himself with work, he tried thinking up ways of showing you that he was still there for you. He ordered his officers to look out for you, sent food deliveries to your place, parked in front of your place somewhere hidden to watch you smoke on the staircase. He also followed you sometimes after you confessed to him that some of his goons were terrorising you. And each time he followed you, he wished for you to notice him just so he could get a chance at talking to you again. But you never did and Yoongi thought that you will come back again soon. Then you told him that you would move and Yoongi finally broke. He was truly losing you. Three months of hell, of lonely nights and heartbreak and he was truly losing you. 

“I missed you”, he gets out, painting his name against your favourite spots. The eagerness with which you clasp him results in your hips to lift off the pillow, allowing your clit to grind against him each time he bottoms out. The necklaces he is wearing are tangling over your face. They were too long once, but Yoongi cut them to the perfect length so they wouldn't hit your face when you are underneath him. That was six months ago. During a time you thought he didn’t care anymore. You feel so stupid now. His way of showing you that he cared was always there. He was always looking out for you. You were just too blind to see. 

You gasp and whimper, mewl and keen, looking up at him with teary eyes and your fingers closing around nothing. You can’t tell him that you missed him too because you are too overwhelmed. 

“Did you miss me too?” but Yoongi is drunk tonight and when he is drunk he is needy for your affection. 

You nod your head. 

“Say it.”

“I missed you”, you get out, following it up with a sob. 

“Baby, I love you”, he croaks, wiping your tears before dropping his forehead against yours, “I love you, baby, I love you. Don’t leave me again, please.”

“You’re so drunk.”

“Yeah, drunk ‘cause of you. Thought I’ll lose you. Baby, I can’t lose you”, he croaks and shows you his honesty with passionate rolls of his hips. Somehow he goes even deeper than before, he hits your favourite spots even better. 

You arch your back and scream his name, throwing your head back as best as possible. This is electric. Holy shit, he makes you feel good. Your face scrunches up against your will, your feet shake on his back. 

Yoongi admires you with a pounding head and racing heart, repeating what he did before over and over and over again. You react in mewls and moans and screams and he can’t get enough of it. He wants for you to lose your fucking voice because you couldn’t stop screaming for him. Because if you sound like this for him, he makes you happy. It has been too long since you actually screamed this way, so Yoongi is especially affected by tonight.

He laces his fingers with yours – again, he is drunk – and squeezes them needily. He thinks that he is crying too. He watches pearls of something drip onto your face sometimes. His eyes also burn. He doesn’t want it to stop. He is willing to carry his emotions on his sleeve if it meant you were happy again.

“Is this what you needed? Does this finally make you fucking happy?” he gets out, chasing the ecstasy as much as he helps you with your own pleasure trip.

You squeeze his hands back, making him moan your name.

“Ye-yes.”

“Argh”, he growls, trying so much harder to fuck you right. It feels so good. He has to tell you. He stayed silent way too often in the past. You want his efforts and he wants to give them to you. “You feel so good.”

The first confession was hard because he isn’t used to sharing his feelings. It was hard, but it was also ecstatic because your sounds of pleasure became louder and you tightened around him, squeezing his hands happily. 

“You feel so good. You feel so fucking good. You feel so good, princess. You feel…so good”, he can’t stop now that he started, telling you over and over and over again how you make him feel. Good. So good. He feels so good when he is with you. “You are so good. Princess, fuck. I have to..I, I have to- ah!” 

You open your eyes in time with Yoongi collapsing on top of you. He whimpers into the crook of your neck, shaking almost pathetically.

There are two things you always believed to be true about Yoongi. First: When he fucks, his moans are always deep, raspy and growly. Second: He has perfect control over his orgasms. 

Both of these things are getting proven wrong to you right here and now as he whimpers and shakes and paints your walls with his unexpected orgasm. You want to blame the alcohol on it and maybe the months of abstinence, perhaps even the fear of losing you paired with the relief of having you again. Holy fuck, he actually loves you doesn’t he?

“I love you”,  he sobs, hugging you close. 

“Yoongi ah”, he breaks you with his confession and the tenderness with which he holds you. You swear that you can taste colours for a moment. You haven’t felt honestly good in your own skin in months. This right here is what feeling good is. This is it. 

You don’t know who comes down first. You think it is Yoongi, but even if he does, he doesn’t pull out. He lets you shake and throb and clench around him until your moment of peak pleasure is over as well. He holds you silently afterwards, catching his breath in the crook of your neck. He missed your scent like nothing else. Truly, it leaves him so drugged out that he actually finds himself drooling as he smiles like a giddy boy. 

You calm down with his weight atop your chest, his length still inside you and his hair between your fingers. It is still a little stiff and crusty from the variety of hair products he keeps in it during his day job. To think that mere hours ago, you were screaming at each other in his office. It feels so far away to you now. Like a memory of an unbelievable life.

You don’t hate that you love him. You really don’t. 

“How.” He clears his throat. “How are you feeling?”

“Good.”

“Are you sore? Does anything hurt?”

“No, but I’m leaking.”

“Fuck”, he laughs into your shoulder, nibbling on it gently, “sorry, I just…am drunk and missed you.”

“You were pathetic doing that.”

He laughs harder. You and he have a peculiar sense of humour. He knows that you meant it fondly. You laugh as well. He lifts his head at the sound of it, cupping your cheek. 

“If it means you’re laughing, I can live with being pathetic.”

Your heart flutters.

“What’s gotten into you?”

“Booze. Way too much booze.”

You laugh again. His eyes soften, he caresses your face. 

“Definitely too much booze, yeah”, you agree.

“Mhm, fuck.” He cuddles into your shoulder again. “I’m sleeping here.”

“And you think I’d let you?”

He nods his head.

“Fuck, you’re the worst.”

“Am I wrong?”

“No, you’re not.”

You wake up alone the next morning. It hurts. So nothing changed. He got what he wanted, made you addicted again only to leave. Like he always did. And you are left feeling dirty and used and fucking awful. 

You probably would have stayed in bed to cry the entire day if a very worrying noise hadn’t come from outside your door. Someone’s in your kitchen. You roll out of bed and leave the room. You don’t need weapons today. You are angry enough that you will probably be able to beat whoever is dumb enough to break in. 

You cross the corner and stop, lowering your fists.

Yoongi. 

He took a shower and tied all of his wet hair into a messy bun. He is shirtless, wearing a towel around his hips. Music is playing from his phone while on the stove, breakfast is sizzling. 

“You?”

He turns at the sound of your voice, face lighting up instantly. 

“Good morning, beautiful”, he says, closing the distance to take you into a hug. “Did you sleep well?”

You don’t answer him, you push at his chest so you could look at him. You can’t believe that he is still here and that he is making you breakfast.

“What’s the matter?” he asks. 

“Why the fuck are you still here?”

He furrows his brows, “why not?”

“I, I don’t know. I just, just. I thought that…huh? You didn’t leave?”

He frowns in regret for a moment, before leaning in to kiss your cheek. He gives your left buttock an almost playful squeeze afterwards, stepping back to return to the cooking.

“I’m making your favourite. I also cleaned. Your place was a shithole, honestly.”

Still flabbergasted beyond relief, you look around your small apartment. He didn’t just clean up the garbage and tidy, he fully wiped the place down. You check the clock next. It’s way past one at noon. You slept for more than twelve hours. Damn. You never even realised how much sleep these last three months took from you until you finally fell asleep in his arms again and actually stayed asleep. You feel refreshed and not uncomfortable in your own skin. 

Last, you look at Yoongi. He is humming to the music, switching between stirring the eggs in the pan and chopping up some pork belly. 

At first you don’t want to accept that this is actually happening to you, but then the desire to be close to him gets too grande to bear. You almost run to him, colliding with his back in a passionate hug. 

He stumbles and grunts, following it up with a fond chuckle and his big hands rubbing your lower arms. 

“Please don’t make me regret this again. Please.”

He turns in your arms, caressing your waist. He shakes his head, looking at you in ways he hasn’t looked at you in ages. As if he honestly loved you. 

“Can you promise me?”

“I promise you, baby”, he says in a soft voice and locks pinkies with you. 

The gesture is so cute and honest, that you have to stifle a giggle. Your heart hasn’t fluttered like this in ages.

“I have an idea. How about I’ll take next week off and we’re leaving this city for a while? Maybe the mountains? You’d like the air there”, he suggests. 

“Are you serious? Do you actually mean that?”

He nods his head. You and he began swaying to the music, looking at nothing else but the other. 

“But first I gotta sort out the mess I made when I busted V’s place”, he says.

“Yeah true.” You slap his chest. “Fuck you for that. He didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I know, I know. I acted irrationally, I admit. But I’m gonna fix this. You know how easily I can make stuff disappear. He’ll be able to return again in a week or so.”

“I hope you’ll fix this, you idiot you.”

“Mhm, I will and then I’m taking you on a long vacation”, he says, kissing your forehead before hugging you against his chest.

You close your eyes, melting into his chest. 

“And when we’re there, I’m gonna make you breakfast and make you cum and make you smile. Yeah?” he whispers.

“Yeah”, you snicker.

He smells like your shower gel today, but you don’t mind. He hasn’t shown such an actual desire to change in months and it feels so good to receive. You love that you love him. You really do. 

“I love you, Yoongi”, you whisper, feeling him squeeze you for just a moment as your confession overwhelms him. 

“I love you too, princess”, he tells you and he is sober for it because he swore to himself that he won’t need alcohol anymore to be able to show you his affection. 

He is willing to better himself, he truly is and a week later, you and he are in his car on your way to a long vacation in the mountains.

[danieyells]

I love Jiro and it's so in character it hurts but I swear him so neutral at sex is almost a turn off jsjsj like his partner would ask if he wants to have sex and he would be like "yeah, sure, whatever" like bby this isn't a 'sure idk' matter?? If you weren't so handsome and scarred I would be fucking Yuri

Ksbdgdijddb IN CONTRAST I'M KINDA INTO THAT i saw a pic/comic many years ago where like. . .the character was watching tv or something. And the other character was blowing them. But they complained about how noisy they were being while they did it because they couldn't hear the tv and they seemed so indifferent to it. . .and it was really hot to me idk it unearthed some kink in me, where character A is desperately trying to please character B(or is using their body or whatever) but character B is practically ignoring them--idk idk it's a control thing maybe?

BUT I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN Jiro doesn't mean to be cold he just. . . . . .doesn't have strong feelings most of the time. But the fact that you'd be having casual(as in, for pleasure and not for reproduction) sex with him, that's proof of that he does want it even if he's kind of indifferent about it? Like you would not have gotten so far if he weren't attached/interested enough to get there. He is full of little subtleties like that. If it didn't matter to him he wouldn't have set time aside for it, he wouldn't have told Yuri he'd be busy having sex with you and couldn't work unless there was an emergency, he probably wouldn't be doing it at all.

I feel like once he's gotten to do it a few times he'd be more open about it. Like the first time it's something you'd have to bring up. That or he'd bring it up as like a "we've been together for a while, would you wanna have sex at all? It seems fairly standard for couples at our milestone." Like it'd be very. . . linical, if you waited for him to make the first move. Because even if he were horny it's just more efficient to take care of it himself. But after a point he would want to explore what it is you do with your partner--including having sex--and also. . .he would have the desire to be close to you. And how much closer could he be than that? He's examined you before for medical reasons, but he could be curious about your body in so many other ways.

After reaching the point where Jiro realizes 'there's sex in this relationship' and 'sex with you feels good and even if it's less efficient I like it more than self-stimulation' he might be more open. It isn't so much as being bolder as it is thinking it's appropriate to tell you what's on his mind now and then. You get a WickChat message asking if you're busy or alone or something and when you confirm you can talk you get one that's just straight up "I had an unexpected sexual thought about you. Would you want to hear it?"

(and maybe you'd been thinking after that first time that maybe Jiro just wasn't that into it or wasn't really into you like that because he seemed underwhelmed--disregard that he almost always seems underwhelmed--so this is a totally unexpected train of thought of course you wanna hear what he was thinking???? You didn't know he was thinking anything at all!!!!)

And it starts simple enough. Basic things that tell you that, oh, he does find you sexually attractive, you think? You bring up having sex again and he seems more receptive the second time around("more receptive" being 'sure' as opposed to the initial 'why?' you received the first time) but it still feels so. . . . . . . .stilted. But this time he catches on to that you feel a little awkward. Does it feel bad? Is he doing a bad job? Oh, he doesn't seem passionate enough.

He. Doesn't know how to fix that. Walk him through it?

He kind of knows how to fix 'this doesn't feel intimate enough'--he can figure out how to kiss you and hold you while he does it and tell you how he feels and tries to treat your body with tenderness. But he tries not to make a lot of noise--it'd be annoying and disruptive, wouldn't it? It also makes it hard to hear you, and he's trying to listen to you. The way your breathing changes, the noises you make, anything you have to say. . .he's trying to be attentive to you. To him this is a study, an experiment in pleasing you. It isn't about him. He doesn't need to feel good. That's not the outcome he's looking for or the results he's examining. Yeah he's keeping it in mind, but he's not too concerned with it.

And therein lies part of the problem--he's treating sex almost like work and not like. . . intimacy or even pursuit of pleasure. He's acting like this is going on their medical chart like a really specific physical. Yeah you're getting fucked and pleasured but he feels so distant. Doesn't he wanna. . .participate more? Do something for himself?? Be closer to you???

It's all so selfless he feels more like a spectator than a participant.

But, much like how he tries to smile when saying goodbye because the pc says he should, he will try and do whatever you say will improve the situation. The concern then is, is he acting for your sake or is he releasing some inhibition and actually responding the way he feels? (You're pretty sure the grunts and moans are real, if nothing else. It's progress!)

You can tell over time that he's more interested in and more enthusiastic("enthusiastic") about sex though. Eventually the sexual thoughts he shares are more elaborate. Eventually it's clear he's doing research in his downtime--which is kind of embarrassing, especially when what he's talking/asking about are kinks to ask your feelings on them. When asked if he wants to do it he gives less "sure"s and more "yeah"s or "okay"s. Sometimes he even asks you first! Usually prefaced with an "are you awake/busy" text.

. . .still very nonchalant but eventually it's more straightforward than neutral. Ultimately he's still very neutral but. . .he learns to show his interest and desire a little more. It's a process.

(as for you having sex with Yuri. . .I don't think that'd bother him. Monogamy seems pretty functionally inhibiting, and he's not particularly jealous. He can't survive without Yuri and Yuri would be somewhat helpless without him, so you kind of get both of them either way, so why bother only sleeping with one if both are of interest? If Yuri would suit you better, or be better for you in tandem, you should bring that up to Yuri. He's probably even busier than Jiro is. . .but he's much more open and receptive, even if he's a bit tsundere. Maybe if you're all together Yuri can help him shape up a little faster.)

[nnnyxie]

if tumblr eats this, i will personally get Very Serious. (threat)

here's raphala's role in the saga through my brainstormin'! i hope you do enjoy my little poetic tidbits here n there - - i'm unfairly (/lh) hooked on the dumpster child contatenation jsjsj

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

raph ❤

Raph, who worries that his hulking stature will frighten you even further when you arrive at the Lair and into their lives.

Raph, who has to subdue his quickly surfacing anger when he spots all the wounds you're mottled with; not just physically, but mentally. No child's eyes should be so dim.

Raph, who swears on all that he is, has, and will ever be that he will protect you.

Raph, who has the final decision in what to do with you; he wanted to take you in just as much as his siblings did, no doubt about it! But ultimately, it was your choice. So, with crossed arms and a set expression, he resolutes the discussion. All they had to do was wait for you.

Raph, who glares at Leo and Mikey arguing over preparing your meal in the kitchen as April and Donnie lead you into the living area, and snips at them to cut it out and hurry it up, they're COMING!

Raph, who gives you one of his stuffies in hopes that it will bring you a comfort they somehow wouldn't be able to provide, and grins brighter than the sun when you accept it with a small "thank you, mister" instead of cowering away from him like he half-expected you to.

Raph, who doesn't try to hide the thumping of his tail behind him, the sound of it echoing through the living area when you agree to stay with them, even if you seemed hesitant — that just makes him want to protect you all the more.

Something in his chest warmed as he gazed at your small figure, something like pride and recognition. His ninpo seemed to glow for just that moment. Whatever this was, it ran deeper than all of them primarily recognized. You ran deep past surface level. And despite everything, he was okay with that.

Raph, who – even when you're fairly settled in – walks on eggshells around you, on-edge at the intrusive thoughts that he may somehow hurt you. Always treating you gently, as if you were made of glass. You were a barely sprouted flower bud, a lot like one of his more delicate plushies. Something— someone to be treated with care.

Raph, who positively blanks and sputters at your upfront [yet wonderfully respectful] attitude when you confront him out of the blue one day about this wrong, to right. You make him realize that he's not going to hurt you. 

The whole clan is remarkably gentle with you but Raphie's really the only one who treats you as significantly fragilely as he does— maybe it was more significant given that he was an actual giant but. To you? It was no different from the way your own father used to hold and protect you. Protect you from every bad thing if he could help it. But he protected you from other things. Outside dangers. Ranging from the monsters in your closet to the sketchy dudes that hung around too close at the park and falling debris caused by rampaging evil chewed-up bubblegum robot aliens. Raph? Raph was 'protecting' you from himself. Raph wasn't a monster. —and in your young, passionate eyes, it isn’t fair! Not to you, and certainly not to him.

Realistically, you know he’s just being cautious; you weren’t stupid. Far from it, incidentally. And maybe you were a little more wary around him first time round, but then. You got to know him. You spent time with him. He was so, so kind to you. He made you feel safe. They all did.

–but Papa Raphie was different too. Just that little bit.

He deserves to take up space, you rant on —arms gripping the very plushie he had gifted you the day you met— he's just fine the way he is, he can relax. He was here long before you came around, so. So- so he can do whatever he wants! He doesn’t have to act like that! You want him to be comfortable, whether it be around you or not, and you’d rather not see him finally keel over backwards just because you decided to stand close to him! He was just right and needed to act like it! … Please?

Raph may have given you a wobbly smile and hearty laugh, rubbed your head and agreed wholesomely, if only a bit taken aback, before taking you and the rest of the gang out for pizza. But don't be fooled! He wept real crocodile (BAHAHAAAA ) tears that night.  He didn’t know who you were or where you came from quickly remedied by Donnie’s nosy techie self and his myriad of specific tracking apps, more of less which would be considered illegal in most places , but he felt it.  You were just right too. Here, with them? It was just right.  And he was mighty fine with that. 

Raph, who carries you and will let you lead him around whenever and wherever you please!!; he'll read you bedtime stories while you rest on his chest because the deep rumble of his voice lulls you to sleep; he immediately recognizes if/when you (are) get(ting) overwhelmed and takes charge to ensure your comfort so you can have a moment to yourself; needlessly said— he spoils you absolutely rotten.

. . . but he also gazes on with pride and fondness as you stay true, humble, and respectful to a fault. You truly were a good kid.

Raph, who is just about ready to utilize any and every dangerous aspect of his mutated being when you're put in the slightest compromised situation. He'll snap and snarl and roar at any and every potential threat, then when all is said and done, will turn back to you with a warm smile and serene gaze. Head pats and snuggles galore.

He's terrifying. Try him. He dares you.

But what's so great about him is that he can do both. He can turn and defend you from every evil thing (and teach you how to hold your own as well! He knows he won't be there forever) just as well as he can scoop you up in his arms and cradle you in an all-encompassing hug, murmuring sweet comfort and promises all the same, if only to lift your downed spirits. As much as the thought that he won't be around to shield you from everything forever pains him, he knows it's inevitable, and he knows just how brightly you shine. You will thrive, with them and then all on your own. He doesn't want to stifle that.

He'll always be with you, he murmurs into your hairline. Papa will always be right here for you. Your family will always be here for you, okay?

Raph, who cries and squeezes you in one of the safest, tightest, warmest, biggest hugs of your life when you surprise him with an adorable plushie that you sewed all by yourself for the holidays! ((Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, or his Birthday/Mutation Day - you pick whatever you like! ;3 ))

… Well, the others might have helped a bit a ton but it was your idea! He loves you so, so much.

Raph, who's prime Mama Bear material when it comes to you. You're his precious cinnamon bun who could do no wrong!! . . . But when you do make those oopsies from time to time because we’re not perfect and make mistakes and that’s okay 😌, Raph’s the one you think of right after April.

He instills very strong principles in you early on; you already have such an unshakeable sense of justice with a nigh-unbreakable spirit to match, so he doesn’t have to do much. He's there to gently but firmly correct any minor misbehavior and give you that strong shoulder to lean on when you need it.

Arguably, he's one of the main reasons your sense of justice is even more solidified, and you carry his lessons long after you grow up and venture out and become your own person. He adores how strong you are. Tough, playful, and unique, you never fail to make him proud. And yet you're never too old or "cool" (as they like to gently tease) for Papa Raph to love and dote on.

You love and dote on him too, and he tears up at the wonder of how they were blessed with a miracle such as you.

"Raphie loves you, little one. You know that, right? . . . Yeah, that's what I thought. Cheeky little slugger."

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏

*bawls in desperate need for a bear hug from raphie*

₍ᐢ . ̫.ᐢ₎♡₍ᐢ. ̫ .⑅ᐢ₎ CEEEJEEEE BAEBAYYYYY I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!!! tell me your thoughts i need them like a good piece of buttered toast :3 (/hj)

ITS THE WAY I CRIED WHILE READING THIS /GEN

raph would treat you as if you were a piece of expensive art work !!! he’d treat you as if you were the mona lisa (hahah see what i did there) and protect you with all his might !!!

he keeps the plushy you made him with him at all times. he carries it with his weapons and always gives it a light squeeze before going out on patrol or fighting.

raph is just the best father figure to you and you utterly adore him !!!

[bloogers-boogers]

Au where Kyle finds out he’s a chubby chaser and is dismissive of WHO is he attracted to, instead chasing after Clyde, Lisa Burger and Henrietta.

Eventually he manages to get a date with Clyde (his first choice) and Stan warned him that if he keeps repressing his feelings he is going to hurt himself the most. Kyle acts indifferent to what Stan says trying to ignore Stan’s indirect suggestion cause Stan actually knows who he actually want’s.

Anyways, Kyle takes Clyde to casa bonita in hopes to keep his mind distracted and believes Clyde would like it, however Clyde complains about literally everything (mostly the service) so it was plain awful. And cuts things off after.

His second option was Lisa Burger reason why she was his second option is because she’s a brunette and he has thing for them. So he asked her out.

However she was too into makeup, diets and magazines; nonstop talking about any recent trend. It had Kyle bored after 10 minutes talking about Ariana grande.

He then goes after Henrietta, it was quite a chase for her (which he kinda likes; cause the previous attempts were easy bait and he prefers a challenge over something being handed to him) so after successfully managing to get a date with her, he immediately rushes to prepare everything having a exciting feeling in his stomach cause he feels there’s a connection between them and that it could actually work out. But during that he stumbles across Cartman while coming out from walmart.

Cartman’s messy hair stood out, his pjs still on as if he didn’t bother changing into his casual wear to go pick up some groceries. He had sandles with socks on, he couldn’t help but look at him dumbly as Cartman dismissively walks pass him to get inside the store. He gulp’s as seeing him made time go slower and feeling completely nauseous every time he’s around.

He curses himself and goes straight home.

His date with Henrietta went pretty well, and actually managed to keep it going for two weeks. Though Henrietta had her moments “goth” there was a lot of her she hid from her fellow goth friends. She was into musicals, pop music, comedy and like the drums.

However this wasn’t enough for his heart to stop aching every time he hang out with his friends, the times he spent with Cartman. And he knew deeply inside why he felt that way but he wasn’t planning to admit it anytime soon.

Though, during the period of him dating Henrietta he found his feelings stronger and difficult to manage as he always somehow ended in some mess with Cartman. He’d sometimes prioritize answering Cartman’s call over his girlfriend, he’d pick Cartman’s side over choosing to go on a date with her. Even in his thoughts Cartman hogged everything.

He’d find himself sometimes awaiting a reaction from Cartman the times he “unintentionally” shoved his relationship on to him. He liked annoying Cartman for being single but he also craved the attention from him.

He dumped Henrietta after two months cause he wasn’t feeling it anymore and went after Clyde AGAIN.

During this period Kenny admitted wanting to pursue Henrietta and asked if it was cool for him if he did; he genuinely didn’t care and he shrugged in response which concerned Kenny. Kenny gave him a talk about being more honest and open when it comes to his feelings, however Kyle took this as aim for his real romantic interest.

He had enough that both his closest friends have gave him “the talk” and then comes Butters to add to the pile doing the same exact shit after he caught him watching Cartman tackle Stan while playing football.

Unlike Kenny and Stan, Butters was the most direct, shamelessly adding that “Eric could reciprocate your feelings if you were more honest, Kyle” as if Cartman had any better choices? Of course he’d accept him, no one else would dare ask Cartman out.

So he thought.

And it’s a whole ass drama from there jsjsjs

[seariii]

oh oh oh!! how fun!! holi cosita ♡♡♡

2, 11, 12, 14, 18, 21, 24, 29, 31, 40, 46, 47? ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ lo siento its a lot, i am a curious boy

HOLIIIIIIII CREATURE MI PEDACITO DE CIELO!!! I LOVE UUU <3333

those are quite a bit of questions hehe i had already answered a couple!!! but lets see~ (14 31, 21)

... Since these are more than a couple I'm gonna put it under the cut hehe

2. lighter or matches?

i really like fire!!! what? oh okay i really like setting things on fire!!! eh? that wasnt the question? okay i love burning th- what do you mean still wrong? i like both!! but i dont like the little spinny thing from the lighter because if i play too much with it it hurts my fingers!!! i really like matches because they also smell very good after you put them out <3 i have an old sweatshirt with matches hehe

11. favorite extracurricular activity?

hmm.... dancing and singing, probably!! you already know this, but when i was little i went to dance classes!!! (ballet, jazz and tap)

12. what kind of day is it?

yesterday (when i started answering your questions) was kinda difficult.... but!! i have high hopes for today!!! hehe i have a date

18. what hair products do you use?

hmm i use hair cream (?) and sometimes oil/silk.... um shampoo and every once in a while conditioner?..... but there are particular ones that i like! especially from those last two! there are some that leave my hair feeling soft and healthy, i really like those! i particularly like the one that smells like coconut <3

24. if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

ooh! Hmm.... My first thought would be sitting down and talking.... I'd be under my umbrella because sunlight kills me <3 we would be listening to music... But I'd also really enjoy if we were in quiet, listening to the way the wind gently sways the leaves of the trees... If it's not too hot, maybe hugging/cuddling hehe or if it is hot, maybe eating ice cream or popsicles??

We could have some activities, but I really enjoy the thought of just relaxing with you in there

29. how do you like your shower water?

I'd say warm/hot!!! But... When it's very hot outside (you know I live in a very hot town jsjsj) I like it more on the colder side!

40. did you have any snacks today?

Chi! (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠) Remember I got 2 brownies? I ate the second one before leaving!! Thank you <333

46. favorite holiday film?

Oh! This one is a little difficult, I don't think I have one.... But the Home Alone movies ALWAYS came up on tv when I was little around Christmas, and usually we would sit through the middle part (I don't have many memories of the beginnings nor the endings of the movies?)

47. what was the last message you sent?

Si* "yeah dude the unnameable (fem)"

[anthromimicry]

hc + 🥣 for a food-themed headcanon (and/or) hc + ☕ for a drink-themed headcanon?

hello, hellooo, @oculusxcaro!! thank you for sending me an ask from one of the headcanon memes i posted :D it really means a lot to me that you're interested in misao. however, i should probably start talking about things before this gets too long, so here we go ( LOL ): so just in case you didn't know... spiders actually don't possess jaws, so although misao does have them while in her human form, she does not have them when transformed back into a spider. and i think this is relevant because that means that, if she were just a normal spider, she wouldn't have the capability to actually chew anything so she would just consume her ' prey ' the same way that all other arachnids do. thus, i think misao has taken full advantage of this as it means that although she doesn't deprive any nutrients from ' normal food ' and/or sometimes even can't digest it at all depending on the food.

and so she's actually become quite fond of consuming sweets. in fact, i feel like that's the only thing that misao's colleagues at arkham see her eating haha. so that has just kind of added onto the ' she's slightly strange, but she isn't hurting anyone, so it's fineee ' ( ahh, if only they knew just how incorrect that is jsjsj ) factor for them and whenever one of them wants to get good graces, it's because somewhat of a regular practice for them to bring misao some sort of sweet. so yeah,, she has grown particularly fond of cannoli's and tiramisu, though. BUT as for drinks, that is a good question. because i don't really believe that she indulges much in drinks compared to food. i think misao is just that type of person who has a glass of red wine whenever the mood strikes them, which is very rarely. well... that, or water, because you know what they say about red wine: it goes straight to your head LMAOOO.

i think the most that misao has ever drank anything was right after her mother died, unfortunately, as she took it very hard and there was a LOT of alcohol on the pirate ship that she traveled on with reika + the other pirates for a while. and alcohol affects her physiology quite differently than it does ours. misao's motor system seems to get overloaded rather than depressed whenever she drinks a lot of alcohol, as spiders were shown to have done when exposed to alcohol in the past and her movements will become kind of erratic / frenzied. so, basically, after finding out alcohol makes her wig out a bit... she's very sparingly drank it 💀 so yeah. well, i hope you liked my answers to your questions and that you've been having a great day!! thank you once again for the ask <33

[techypen]

Hiii!!! I want to say that I love your work and that's why I would be an honor if you take my request jsjsjs ❤️❤️

I would like a sick fick of Heeseung, enhypen is dance practicing for they new comeback and Heeseung's girlfriend Y/N is the choreographer of the boys, they are kinda like, checking the details of the choreo and heeseung faints because of overworking himself for a while. And idk, you can do what you want next, but like, just some fluff,, idk.

Love ❤️❤️❤️

⇢ ˗ˏˋ Heeseung x y/n - overworked ࿐ྂ

Heeseung is the biggest perfectionist, thats no secret. But sometimes he feels as though he's never able to meet his own standards.

All the members were about to leave the dance practice studio, but it was clear that Heeseung still wasn't happy with his progress on the new choreography.

Conveniently Heeseungs girlfriend is their choreographer which just means he can ask her to stay back a little longer to help him.

"Ugh I'm just not getting it" Heeseung spoke starting to get agitated.

"Babe it's completely fine, you still have loads of time practice" y/n answered, resting her hand on Heeseungs shoulder.

"Can you stay a little longer and help me?" Heeseung asked y/n, giving her the biggest puppy eyes.

"Of course, but are you not feeling tired?" Y/n replied, feeling a little concerned for Heeseung considering all he's done is practice this last week.

"No no in completely fine, I'll make sure to rest when I get back" Heeseung answered clearly lying through his teeth.

He was not completely fine but being the perfectionist he is, he wasn't going to stop until he's happy with his progress.

"Hmm fine not for too long tho, you really need to rest." Y/n spoke making it clear that she wasn't going to let him overwork himself.

"Yes!! Thank you y/n, I owe you one" The boy spoke whilst making his way to the mirror.

It had been about an hour and y/n was still helping Heeseung, he made a lot of progress and it was noticeable.

"Hey you're doing amazing, are you ready to finish up?" Y/n spoke heading to turn the music off.

"Hmm yeah, can you just explain the last foot move again? I don't think I'm doing it properly" Heeseung replied still not happy with his progress.

"Sure, but we need to finish up after that. Okay?" Y/n replied giving the boy a sturn look.

"Yeah yeah that's fine" Heeseung answered.

The two of them were going over the one move for a little while but Heeseung started to zone out, and was loosing all the colour in his face.

"Hey, you alright?" Y/n spoke, the concern starting to kick in.

"Huh, what?" The boy replied finding it difficult to keep eye contact.

"Babe come here a sec" Y/n spoke softly, signaling for the boy to come closer.

As Heeseung tried to move towards y/n he quickly winced and grabbed his head in pain.

"Babe what's going on"  y/n spoke quickly pulling her boyfriend in to a hug.

"I-i d-don't feel good" The boy replied pushing his face into y/n neck.

"Babe I told you, this is too much for your body to han"

"FUCK HEESEUNG!!"

Before y/n could even finish her sentence heeseung completely lost all his balance whilst in her arms.

Y/n proceeded to lay him down so that his head was resting on her knee.

"Hey babe, look at me"

"Hee baby"

"Plz open your eyes"

Heeseung eventually opened his eyes and tried to sit up startling y/n.

"No no, babe stay laying down. It's okay I'm here"

Y/n spoke softly.

"What's going on" Heeseung replied, looking completely out of it"

"You fainted babe" y/n answered placing a kiss on the sick boys forehead.

"Oh that's why my head hurts" The boy replied rubbing his head.

"Mhm, you really need to rest Heeseung. I can't keep watching you do this to yourself" Y/n replied making sure that Heeseung was listening to what she had to say.

"I'm sorry I really am, I just wanted everything to be perfect" heeseung replied.

"Baby it was perfect from the beginning, you have no valid reason to be overworking yourself like this!! Okay??" Y/n spoke whilst pulling the boy as close to her as she could.

Heeseung just tightly rapped his arms around y/n and didn't let go for a good 15 minutes.

"I love you babe" The boy spoke whilst his face was pressed into y/n stomach.

"I love you to, just promise me you will look after yourself?" Y/n replied whilst playing with the boys hair.

"I promise" Heeseung replied whilst making eye contact with y/n and pulling her in for another hug.

[greywindys]

Can you tell us what others 2doc's dynamic ships come to your mind? Jsjsj

...I don't know if you want to open this door, anon, lmao. I think I used the wrong term when I said "ship." I'm going to share a non-exhaustive (I'm not going to get too spicy atm) list here, but I also want to clarify that I don't really ship any of these, and in some cases, idt some of this media has a fandom with active ships anyway. Instead, think of this as a list of potential 2Doc AUs that have likely never been done before (I've certainly given consideration to all of them lmao). In general, the 2Doc dynamic, or a version of the 2Doc dynamic, exists in a lot of media. If you watch any of these, and come out supporting a ship, then I support you! But you can think of these in a platonic sense as well. This post will also be long because I talk a lot, and I wanted to find Youtube clips.

Succession: I've talked ad nauseam on this blog about TomGreg (Tom = Murdoc, Greg = 2D), and while I don't want to repeat myself, I couldn't make this post in good conscious without including them. This is quintessential 2Doc if canon ever gave 2Doc the development it deserved. In fact, I have a half-completed draft still sitting around that highlights every parallel. Here is a longer post where I begin to talk about some similarities. I love Succession on its own, but it is also home to so many of my personal Murdoc hcs. I owe it my life.

While we're here, I'd also add an honorable mention to TomShiv (Tom = 2D, Shiv = Murdoc) with the way she hurts him over and over and he keeps coming back to her, and the way they hate each other by the end of the series, but also realize they can't live without one another. This is the abridged version, but I'm trying not to make this so ridiculously long. I can go into more detail if anyone wants me to. Anyhow, here is a TomGreg clip. There are literally so many compilations on Youtube, but this is one of the more iconic scenes, imo, and it should gets it's chance to shine.

The Lighthouse: This comparison should be relatively familiar to 2Doc fans, I believe? I knew about this movie before it was cool, though, because I love Robert Eggers as a director. He managed to unintentionally write an amazing PB - two men, trapped on an island together slowly lose their minds. Fun for any ship, tbh! But PB and 2Doc similarities are undeniable. This portrayal will be more appealing to those who enjoy earlier 2Doc (P1-3), though Robert Pattinson's character has both flaws and a backbone, and I like to think of 2D this way as well. Willem Dafoe's character also gets his comeuppance. Tbh, this is my PB.

Seven Days in Hell: 2Doc tennis AU? A strange combination to consider. I forget why I watched this years ago. I think I was still coming out of the GOT fandom and wanted to watch some of the casts' new project. Anyhow, this may be appealing to fans of the 2Doc as bitter rivals/enemies. Kit Harrington's character reminds me of 2D SO much lmao. And Andy Samberg's character is very Murdoc.Fair warning, I believe this has a bad ending, but I remember liking it. There are also probably some problematic elements I'm forgetting to mention, but we're also talking about 2Doc here. Indubitably.

Whatever is going on with these guys aka The Climb: Okay, I'll be honest, I never actually watched this movie. The trailer played while I was at the theater to see a different movie. However, it stuck out to me for it's depiction of a "toxic friendship," enough that I posted about it on this blog years ago. That's actually the only way I remembered it. I was browsing through my video history looking for my Taylor Swift AMV and stumbled upon the original post. I thought, "wtf is that, and why did I post it?" And it was because of 2Doc. And idk, it doesn't look that bad! I enjoy little indie movies like this.

Glee: Listen. Or don't. I'm going to attempt to outline the main points of my argument in a short paragraph. Rachel Berry is ruthless in pursuit of her ultimate goal of becoming a Broadway star and will happily sacrifice friendships, others' successes and safety (she once sent a student she viewed as competition to crack house to dissuade them from joining Glee Club so she could have less competition for solos) etc to achieve it. Finn is kind of dumb, tall but nonetheless popular. In the early season, Rachel fixates on him and it creeps him out. Visually, their heights are similar to 2D and Murdoc. While, as many know, the show starts to flop quality wise in season 2, the 2Doc dynamic is there, though obviously not nearly as unhealthy as Gorillaz 2Doc. But this was that fandom I came from prior to following Gorillaz! And I thought back to Finn's characterization quite a bit while writing 2D in The Answer.

Okay, so that's six to start off. I'm happy to defend my choices so far kskalds. Or if you, or anyone else, has any ship platonic or otherwise that you want to add, feel free to do so!

[julietasgf]

I have many ideas for the latam au, but I will answer that later or tomorrow because TODAY IS MARCH 15 JULI.

IT'S THE IDES OF MARCH. THE PERFECT TIME TO TELL YOU ABOUT RAFFLES - and to betray Caesar- 😈

I've been debating with myself whether I should try to summarize it or would it be more useful to send you a post that explained the plot but I have a terrible physical and psychological need to talk about Raffles when asked, so I'm sorry you'll have to endure verbal vomit about these books but before I lose my mind about the cricket boys, I'll lose my mind about your ocs ~

🥰 Vienna!!! My love!!! She sounds so interesting. I really wanted to know more about the journalist, so appreciated getting to know some of her background. Oh buddy, you can feel her frustration, as she tries to escape the dramatic world of racing only to end up stuffed to the bottom jsjsjs literal in a rabbit hole but she won't be able to complain about the lack of gossip

Oh and I read about Rodri. Im fine :)))) I haven't suffered any emotional damage that will leave sequels for life *I'm going to cry next to Ale for the rest of my days*

I only knew him for a couple of days but DAMN I didn't expect to lose him like that, Rodri didn't deserve to leave 😭😭😭😭 (not complaining tho, I actually love the angst and the idea of Ale spending the rest of his days affected by the love he lost AFTER THEY RECONCILIATED 👌 it's BRILLIANT AND TRAGIC)

And I appreciate that you told me what happened between them... I can only say that oh boi I need to hug Ale, at the end of the road he took the worst part although he had a good part of the blame in the argument doesn't take away that his lifetime trauma will not be taken away by anyone and oh poor Rodri, he also had his part of the blame but I can't imagine how much it must have hurt at the moment to realize that Ale wanted him in his shadow although yes it was very dramatic on his part to crash, f1 guys can't fight like normal boyfriends, they have to destroy their cars and put their lives at risk 😭

About the 2000s guys: IM GIGGLIN to the fact that THE STORIES ARE CONNECTING, EVEN IF IT'S SUCH A SMALL DETAIL AS ANDREA END UP ON ALE'S TEAM!!!!

🙏🙏🙏🙏 Andrea is an easy going it kid, vibe of be the sun, charming, friendly but full of pressure (and guilt) to be somebody because of his parents' sacrifice to support him in his career? THATS MY KIND OF GUY, he is my babygirl now. Im protecting him, I WILL FIGHT FOR HIM AND HIS HAPINESS

Also me: but Kimi kinda slay you know?

I LOVE THE MYSTERY, I LOVE THAT HE HAS A HORRIBLE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS PARENTS -I know that sounds bad JSJSJJS BUT I MEAN THE CONCEPT-, I LOVE THAT HE IS FULL OF SECRETS AND THAT HE IS SUCH A PERFECT CONTRAST FOR ANDREA.

Btw although I'm really worried about Kimi's fate because you mentioned "he doesn't mind risking his life" and because he has substance addiction issues *panics* 😊

ABOUT DUNE 💖💖💖💖💖

I HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK EITHER FOR THE SAME REASONS. I SIMPLY BELIEVE DUNE MUST BE READ ON PAPER 🥺, it's worthy of that honor and other than that I read too much pdf already because of college. I need a break when I read something for fun even though I spoiled some things hehehehe

I LOVED THE FIRST MOVIE TOO. A lot of people say it's boring but I thought it was amazing, I can rewatch it a million times and never get tired of it because it's a visual and sound delight 😔🙏

Every day I confirm more and more that one of these days I must read and watch GOT, (I only saw the house of dragon; rhaelicent my beloved) jsjsjsjsjs but I guess you mean the wonderful political plot, and if that's it I agree that it's one of the best done and most interesting aspects that Dune has

Part 2 did not disappoint, Chani my girlfriend, I will treat her right 🥺💜, I really liked that we finally got to meet her, and that while she is Paul's love interest, she is her own person with her own ideals that she is true to. While it broke my heart to see her leave so disappointed, I was so glad that she was able to go her own way ah

OH BOI PAUL. 😭 I have a huge love- hate on him. I guess you've also seen these "my twink boyfriend turns bad" memes where people compare him to Anakin and Coriolanus; and while I see the similarities I think out of the three, Paul is the only one I'm a more willing to defend than the other two. The boy was born without much autonomy over his destiny - and body - and genuinely fought against the idea of being the messiah for the fremen because he was well aware that this was a bene g. project, and that he had no right to intentionally feed the lie any further. And his visions, they were terrifying and you could see the fear Paul felt for them: he really didn't want to unleash a war and was so willing to listen to Chani and fight by her side BUT WELL :)))) WE SAW WHAT HAPPENED AND YES I THINK THAT WAS THE WORST PART.

THE NERVE HE HAD TO SAY HE WAS MARRYING THE PRINCESS IN FRONT OF CHANI (and I think he had told her he loved her before, right?, UGHHHH WHAT MAKE IT WORSE)

The good news is that I have heard that most likely we will have a third part that will tie together all the loose threads that were left. I hope Chani ends well and that maybe she kicks Paul's ass <3

Now it's time.

The time has come *thunder my fingers* let's talk about Cricket AND CRIME!!!!

You should know that before my TBOSAS - Sejanus fever, my blog and my fics and my everything, was dedicated to Sherlock Holmes (the books please, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BOOKS BECAUSE MY DETECTIVE HAS BEEN TREATED VERY BADLY BY THE ADAPTATIONS), and it was thanks to Sherlock Holmes that I discovered my cricket boys:

AJ Raffles and Bunny Manders!!!!

Pd: Here I leave another post saying why you should read these books

The connection between them and Holmes is that Arthur Conan Doyle's brother-in-law, Ernest Hornung, was inspired by Holmes and Watson when he make Raffles and Bunny and these stories also share a very close temporality (end of 19 century) to the one existing in Holmes stories

But let's begin:

The plot follows the association of Bunny Manders (Bunny is not his name, it's a nickname) with the infamous Arthur J. Raffles, the amateur cracksman.

Bunny and Raffles attended school together, but their paths diverged when Raffles (who is older than Bunny) graduates, until the two meet again years later and end up becoming partners in crime (and maybe they are partners not just in a particular type of crime, laws against homosexuality were a thing at the time...👀)

AJ Raffles is a famous cricketer. He is charming, handsome, and brilliant. He has a reputation for being rich and moving among exclusive high society circles but it's all a facade, because in reality he's broke, doesn't earn a penny playing cricket and can flaunt his luxurious lifestyle because he's a jewel thief. He steals from wealthy people in the exclusive circles he moves in.

And the story narrated by Bunny who has an anxious, nervous, fragile and intense personality. Who is an aspiring journalist and occasional poet, tells us about what he calls his "fall from virtue." (Although as someone who has already read the books, I can tell you that it is Bunny's recounting of the most important person in his life: Raffles)

Bunny is an unreliable narrator <3 I should clarify tha. It's fascinating to see how fickle his memory of Raffles (who we know only through his eyes). There are 3 books made up of short stories:

1. The Amateur Cracksman

2. The Black Mask

3. A Thief in the Night

All by E. W Hornung

You can read them on a page called Raffles redux, on Project Gunterbeng or there is a project called Letters from Bunny where they will send the stories to your email

WARNING: THEY WERE WRITTEM IN THE 1890s BY A BRITISH AUTHOR, I think that pretty much sums up the flaws and criticisms of the text although it is an interesting study of the dynamics of the social classes in London at the turn of the century and a glimpse into the criminal world of the time.

Ah yes, the reunion of Bunny and Raffles. The first story in the saga takes place on March 15 and is called:

The Ides of March

🤭

HELLOOO AND HAPPY IDES OF MARCH!!!! (1 day later tho, but still 😭)

(and also, can't wait to hear your ideas for the latam au, bc I'm this 🤏 close to asking you if I can write something abt it bc it's driving me CRAZY)

KSLSKLKS noooo don't say you're sorry, first bc I love hearing when ppl are passionate abt something, second bc I LOVE anything related to sports, and knowing now it's also related to crime and sherlock holmes made me even more interested!!! (but before let me answer abt my silly little guys)

poor vienna, all she wanted was to get out from the formula 1 world somehow because she knows abt how the drama is insufferable, and now she's deeper than ever, you can almost hear her screaming into the void and trying to explode her mom with her mind 😭 BUT at least she starts getting interested because it's really bizarre how the cycle never ends and just keeps going on and on

I'M SORRY ABT RODRI 😭😭😭 but welcome to the "mourning over rodrigo" club, founded by alejandro himself!! rodrigo deserved much better, even though his death was mostly a terrible accident. he was such a young driver with such a bright future ahead... and plus, he just reconciliated with alejandro, he missed him so much. things were fine. they were, really. also, it's worth saying that after this, alejandro spent the rest of his career as a team principal trying to reinforce the security for drivers and proposing changes to make it safer. each time a crash happened on the racetrack, that man was on the verge of fainting. and the worse is that... he could only think abt how things could've been different. maybe if alejandro was more mature, or if he listened to rodrigo, or if he tried to talk to him much before that crash... would it still happen? it's all so tragic (and that's why I made it that way ☝️

ale definitely got the worst, that man got a trauma for LIFE. racing was his passion, before rodrigo died he didn't intend to stop any soon, but after his death, he couldn't get inside a car without panicking. and things just weren't the same anymore, you know? he tried to go out in dates with other people, but he couldn't move on, he felt too guilty, he felt too bad about it ("trends change, rumors fly through new skies, but I'm right where you left me"). rodrigo was so hurt atp, because he believed alejandro wanted him alongside him, not below him; alejandro was treating him more like a decoration than anything and it HURT. but yeah, these two guys should've gone to therapy instead of risking their lives, racing boyfriends really are the worst 😭

(it's so funny what you said abt f1 guys not fighting like normal boyfriends and instead crashing their cars bc this actually happened a couple of times in real lifeKSLSKLSKLKLKS)

YESSSS THE STORIES ARE CONNECTED!!! :D that's also how vienna have it easy to be able to talk to these guys, because everyone kind of knows everyone somehow

ANDREA IS SO SWEET 😭😭😭 he's a sunshine, rlly. like, I always say that rodrigo is the devil, but tbf him and alejandro are kind of made for each other (nobody else would be able to stand them). but andrea is such a sweet guy who was unlucky to be teammates with kimi, from all people. he got a heart of gold, just wants to help and to not disappoint his parents after everything (he doesn't know they are already so proud of him, like, their son is a FORMULA 1 DRIVER, this is already so awesome!!!)

I love kimi so muchKSLSKLSK his whole character is just so fun, even though he's a prick. and yesssss in almost every single aspect, he's a foul to andrea!!! but at the same time, they have a lot in common (ahem, being so insecure about themselves and failing people around them, feeling alone while being surrounded of people, and, ofc, their unconditional love for racing and how it's their life).

(since you asked, and also because I can't keep my mouth shut... I particularly find kimi's fate to be more cruel than rodrigo's. he didn't die on the racetrack. atp of the story, kimi and andrea had a better relationship, and andrea knew more abt his secrets and some of kimi's reasons. kimi had just won this year's championship. he was supposed to be celebrating with the team, after all, they all worked so hard for it. but andrea notices kimi isn't around. he's worried, he knows kimi, he knows abt kimi's deal with his parents. he decided to go to kimi's hotel room. he found kimi so high, so drunk. andrea helped kimi clean up and they had an emotional talk, even though kimi was not sober. andrea promised he would help kimi, that kimi wouldn't need to go back to his parents again. he put kimi to sleep and left the hotel. the next day, andrea woke up with countless calls on his cellphone. kimi eriksen had died from an overdose on his hotel room during the night.)

BUT OKAY, LET'S TALK ABT DUNE, MY BELOVED:

YESSSSS dune is that book to be full of post-its and highlights, I CAN'T read that book on digital 😭 KLSKLSKLS ans yeaaaah absolutely, when you read too much pdf for college, it's just authomatic your brain will associate it with studying, while reading physical books become more associated with fun (plus, this is more personal now, but I love scribbling on my books, can't do that on digital)

yesssss I get why people say it's boring (it's rlly slow), but the worldbuilding is just so nice + it's gorgeous visually + LETO ATREIDES IS IN IT OKAY IT'S ENOUGH FOR ME. idc if it's boring, I would watch it 100 times for that man.

(pls read got, it's so worth it, even though I think we as a fandom collectively accepted we'll never get the ending 🙏)

((and also NO WAY YOU LIKE RHAELICENT TOO, THESE ARE MY GIRLS 😭 you know that when I prefer the adaptation rather than the original work it's bc they did something right, and when it's related to alicent and rhaenyra, I like the tv show sooooo much better actually, they gave so much more depht to their relationship which is basically non-existent in the book))

save me chani.... chani save me.... and yes!!!! I remember that everyone was so excited during the first dune bc of zendaya, but when it actually premiered, there was like 10 minutes of her in the whole movieKLSKSLSKL but I'm so glad we got to know her bc she's such an interesting character!!! and it's just like you said, she's actually her own character, and it's just really refreshing seeing this and seeing how they decided to wrap up her arc (specially in a science fiction franchise)

PAUL WAS SOMETHING ELSE. from the three, he's actually the one I genuinely like as a person; imo, I feel like he tried to resist until the very end, that was not what he wanted. he only gave in when he felt like there was no other choice, specially after the whole thing with the harkonnens..... that's what hurts the most regarding paul, I actually LIKED him. anakin and coriolanus, we knew who these guys were, we knew their end, we knew what was going to happen. but paul? we could have this hope that things would be different, that he could choose or change things. but... yeah, things end the way they do and I felt betrayed over a characterkslsklsk 😭

NAHHHHHHH HE WAS SO WRONG FOR THAT, SRSLY, I was so happy chani left at the end of the movie because she deserves so much better 😭 (I know things in the book are different, but in this case I'm willing to block my ears and go LALALALALA to pretend that only the movie exists)

and yessssss!!! from what I've searched, the first book ends exactly where the movie ended, but the little change of chani leaving can actually make such a big change on the story, and I'm really interested to know where this will lead (and plus, there's the whole thing with paul's little sister, which is also another loose end I'm excited to know more abt).

but now: CRICKET!!!!

buddie, I've seen some of your reblogs abt raffles and bunny, and I was like "oh, this reminds me of sherlock holmes a bit, the aesthetic and all" (even tho I've never read sherlock holmes, I could recognize the close temporality) and I kept wondering if the stories were connected, like some thrillers' I've read, that are on the same universe but with different characters, sometimes with the same detective, so I thought this was the case.

I'm kinda shocked to discover that its setting is about cricketLSKSLSKSLKS I WOULD'VE NEVER EXPECT THIS, AND I LOVE IT

(also, I've read the post, it won me at "it will KILL YOU" and "the incredible adventures of two broke idiots", specially because I myself am a broke idiot, so I related)

I like the concept of this so much???? first because, again, SPORTS, second because it's also mixed with crimes and aaaaaa it sounds so cool 😭 raffles sounds like a demon, I already love him (every generation have their own saltburn /jk). bunny sounds relatable (cries in crippling anxiety language) and the fact that not only he's an unreliable narrator, but we also only know raffles from his pov is really interesting, idk, there's something fascinating abt never rlly knowing a character bc you only know them from a sole point of view...

tysm for telling me abt it and also for telling me where to read it, I'm already writing down to read it ✍️ (I just can promise to read it soon bc I have a pile of books which are here for MONTHS and just today I came back to reading again 😭 BUT I'll definitely read it, the mix of crimes and sports got me hooked + the gay undertones too ofc, but tbf there's nothing gayer than sports)

(also the fact that their reunion is on the IDES OF MARCH, why do I get a feeling that this is not going to end very well for one of them? 🤠)

[ii-zi]

sister tested positive last Friday & my father+me are symptomatic lol had a kitten fall ill for several days and literally just yesterday got better made 2 notebooks out of scraps + started painting mini painting in those tongue pushing wooden stick thingies as PT bc my hands are getting worse ever day but I've been lucky overall bc of a slight decrease of other like. Symptoms. Oh also my mother is Literally gaslighting me like she's outright stated multiple times already that I'm making up having been sick for months bc it's impossible and I'm crazy like. ????????????

[neko-loogi]

So I went to the PRCC this year with my friend and I had a blast. My legs are killing me tho but nonetheless I had fun. ( I just wish I wasn't so damn shy so I could've gotten more pictures with rad cosplayers! )

I'm also happy that I bought some cool KNY merch- hahahha

[etherealyoungk]

hey 🥰 could i please request [anything] about shy/jealous jihoon? like op starts getting close to another member and jihoon feels kinda weird (yeah hes jealous :p) and cant stop thinking abt that. later on he tries to show to op what he feels (subtle touching hands, sitting closer on the couch, asking for opinion about his new song, idk, just wanna see he shyly expressing his feelings🥺) then he just cant stand it anymore and kisses op. pls lots of shy jihoon and red cheeks cause im feeling sad lately

hi anon! no but jealous jihoon would be so cute fr. also i hope you're feeling better today, don't be sad, i hope this cheers you up a bit, take care <3

let's say you were with a few of the members in the studio and since jihoon was busy, you occupied yourself with talking to seungkwan about a movie which he happened to watch and you were glad because you had ALOT of thoughts about it, so you and seungkwan were in your own world ranting about this movie. when jihoon decided to take a small break from work, he turned around, only to see you laughing and giggling so much while talking to seungkwan and something just clicks in him. he's watching you closely now and when you lean in to whisper something in seungkwan's ear, he grips the handle of his chair, his eyes sending silent death threats to seungkwan. the last straw is when seungkwan hugs you goodbye and he is seeing red. he knows it's stupid in a way but he just can't help but get a little jealous of the other members when they get a little too close to you because he likes you.

it's been a few days and jihoon just can't stop thinking about you or that incident. so when you pop your head into his studio, giving him a wave, he's caught off guard but also so happy to see you. it's just you and jihoon in the studio. he comes to sit next to you on the couch and he purposely sits closer to you, causing your legs to brush against each other. you reach for the water bottle, but he reaches for it at the same time so basically he just grabbed your hand and he goes red, quickly pulling away, mumbling a soft apology as he tells you to take a drink first. he watches as you take a sip of water, when he slowly leans in, causing you to almost choke on your water.

"there's an eyelash on your face", he says and gently brings his hand forward to remove it, all the while being so close to you and he's just trying so hard to NOT look at your lips jsjsj and he's just hoping his face isn't red.

"can you maybe...listen to the new song i'm working on? i'd love to know your thoughts", he asks you shyly, rubbing the back of his neck out of nervousness. "sure!", you reply and he's trying not to smile too wide.

he lets you sit on the chair and he stands over you, both his hands on either side of the chair, while he peers from the side as he searches for the file and plays the song for you. little does he know you're malfunctioning because of his actions hshshs. you listen to the song, and he's looking at you like an idiot with a big grin on his face as he watches you slowly bop your head to the song, while you're unaware of his gaze on you.

"this is really good jihoon!", you praise him, earning a shy smile from him.

"really?"

"yeah, if this is the demo then the song is gonna be amazing i know it, you're so good!", you say, your words adding more blush to his cheeks.

"i-", you start but don't finish because jihoon is kissing you, cupping your cheeks and he pulls away, looking shocked and he just doesn't know how to explain himself.

"listen..i...i like you y/n....", he says, still cupping your cheeks, looking at you intently, waiting for you to say something.

"jihoon...i..like you too", you admit and he's smiling so wide his cheeks hurt and kisses you again.

bonus: a seungkwan walks in the studio right at that moment and sees y'all kissing like

"hey jihoon did you-", he's stopped mid-sentence, looking between you both in shock, covering his mouth and he backs out telling y'all to continue what you were doing and closes the door, telling everyone not to disturb this room jsjsjsj. is forever traumatized.

[borathae]

“Jungkook is a simple guy, he sees you ironing his shirts and he gets all excited. Alternatively: Doing domestic stuff with you makes his heart race and his dick hard, he just can’t help it.”

Pairing: Jungkook x f.Reader

Genre: established relationship, domestic!AU, Smut, Fluff

Warnings: Jungkook’s POV, domestic shit I sob, Jungkook is a horny goofball, dry humping, unprotected sex, hickeys, they are so in love it’s maddening

Wordcount: 3.6k

a/n: Doing domestic stuff with Jungkook just huRts me in the best way possible 😔 also big shoutout to @tipsydipsydo who gave me the idea of Kook getting all horny when doing domestic stuff with this partner jsjsj 😔 Also I’m tagging @kimchitae​ in this because Laundry Fairy is the reason why we met each other and I wanna treat my queen. I love you Thea 💜

~ Sequel to Laundry Fairy ~

You are humming to the song playing on your bluetooth speakers. Backstreet Boys, because in your opinion they make the best cheesy love songs. Your apartment smells like fresh laundry and the sugar cookies you baked this morning. Outside it doesn’t just rain, it pours. The world is getting a proper cold shower today. But you don’t care about the weather or the cold. You have the heater on and wear your fuzziest socks with your most comfortable hoodie. Technically speaking it wasn’t your hoodie, but that of your boyfriend. The later just entered your shared bedroom with a basket of fresh laundry in his hands and sits down on the edge of the bed. 

"I love it so much when the towels are still warm from the drier", Jungkook says, rubbing his cheek against the warm towel with a content smile on his lips. 

"Ditto. It's so nice", you agree, looking at him for the briefest of moments before you turn your attention back to his dress shirt you are ironing. 

Jungkook had been away on a business trip for the last five days and had only come back from it last night. He got a pretty big model job in another city with lots of meetings beforehand and in those meetings he needed to look his best. That is why you are currently fighting with the creases in his dress shirt, singing loudly to the song and with your brows furrowed in concentration. 

Jungkook’s eyes flit up, fond smile washing over his lips. You are swinging your hips from side to side, bopping your head up and down without even noticing it. He loves moments like this. Both of you bare faced, in your baggiest of clothes and with your hair unstyled. He feels so comfortable in those moments. He is such a lover for everything domestic, it's his favourite type of date with you. Even after two years together he still can’t get enough of those moments. 

"Finally. No more folds. Yay, yay", you sing to the melody of Shape of My Heart as you hold his black shirt up. 

Jungkook continues folding the towels, eyes following you as you dance through the room to your shared closet. He can’t get enough of the way you swing your hips, finding it equal parts adorable and sexy. He is a simple man, what can he say. He sees you wearing nothing more than knee-high socks and one of his hoodies and he gets all tingly in his heart as well as his lower regions. 

His shirt is stored back in the closet. You whip around, pointing your finger at him as you dance your way over to him. He laughs, nose scrunching up as his sparkling eyes follow you.

You drag your hands up his shoulders and cup his face. 

"I'm here with my confession, got nothing to hide no more", you sing, leaning down to smooch his lips, "I don't know where to start but to show you the shape of my heart."

You boop his nose, letting out the cutest giggle Jungkook has ever heard, and then dance back to the ironing board. 

His heart is doing literal somersaults in his chest. He is so happy to be your man. His fingers grab lace. Eyes flit down. One of your panties. It's those pink lace panties, which made all of this possible. If they hadn't fallen down onto his balcony railing, you and him would have never even met in the first place. Two years have passed since that fateful day and he is still as thankful for it than he was in the beginning of your relationship. 

The song changes, making you gasp and squeal. 

"Oh my, I love this song so much!" you giggle, jumping up and down on the spot. Now ironing your shirt became a thousand times more fun. 

Jungkook’s eyes flit to your chest. He swallows, balling your panties in his hand. He isn’t one for prying but seeing your tits bounce and wiggle as you jumped around may have drawn him in. They look so beautiful, so sexy, he loves it so much when you go braless. 

He shifts on the bed, head tilting to the side slightly. That feeling in his sweats can only mean one thing. Not now penis, he thinks as he presses his legs together to stop the blood from flowing to his dick as good as possible. 

Jungkook looks away from you to concentrate on his laundry instead. He needs to distract himself, although having exclusively your panties to fold may turn out to be the worst distraction ever. Jungkook is a very memorable guy, meaning he remembers for which of your countless shared sexual escapades you wore each of your panties. Yeah, it is not helping at all. 

Jungkook looks back at you. You are ironing the kitchen towels, trying to sing not only the main parts but also every ad-lib and harmony there is in the song, making big hand gestures to help you hit the notes more easily. You are failing miserably, but to Jungkooks ears you sound beautiful. Beautiful and sexy. 

Okay, holy shit why is he so horny today? He blames not being able to have sex with you for a week on his raging hormones and the angry boner that comes with them. He wanted to make love to you last night but fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, the flight had been far too exhausting. And today you had been busy the entire day. First with baking, then with cleaning, then with washing his dirty laundry (and yours as well eventhough it wasn’t Wednesday) and now you are busy with ironing and folding everything. Again, Jungkook loves those domestic moments with you, but right now. Ohohoho boy, oh boy. Right now he is thinking with his dick and his dick says that he should abandon the laundry by the bed, get to his feet and walk up behind you. 

"Oh", you gasp in surprise and chuckle, "honey what are you doing?" 

His boner is poking your lower back loud and proud. This is a pleasant surprise indeed. Jungkook hugs your waist tighter, nuzzling his face against your neck. 

"I'm horny", he murmurs, kissing your neck softly.

"I can feel that", you say, wiggling left and right to give his dick the tiniest of fractions of friction. 

"Babyy I'm hornyyy", he whines, pouting. He dances his hands up your body, tickling your stomach.

"I know", you chuckle. You continue ironing the kitchen towels. It is not that you don’t want him, you want him like crazy, but hearing him beg is like honey to your ears. You want to tease him a little more. Besides it is so much fun seeing how hard he is trying to get you horny as well. The sneaky man has some world class seduction tricks up his sleeves. Jungkook sucks on the skin of your neck, gentle and with a little flick of his tongue at the end. He ghosts the palms of his hand over your breasts just enough to elicit goosebumps all over your body. 

"Babyyy, so hornyy", he whines, nibbling on your earlobe gently. It makes you shiver, breath hitching in your throat. 

"I know Kookie", you say, amusement lacing your voice. 

The competitive side inside of Jungkook almost goes haywire at the sound of your voice. So you are up for a challenge? Fine with him. 

Jungkook hooks his fingers in the hem of your sweater, watching your face for a reaction. You look as uninterested as ever if it wasn’t for your heated cheeks and blown out pupils giving you away. Jungkook’s hand disappears under your sweater. He knows how cold his fingers are and with a cheeky grin he puts them right on your most sensitive part of your stomach. 

"Ah baby", you gasp, "your fingers are so cold", you whine, wiggling away which in retrospect was a bad idea (for Jungkook). 

Jungkook moans, mouth falling open against your neck. Your ass grinds most deliciously into his boner. 

Heat pools at your entrance. He sounds so sexy when he moans. 

"Baby please I'm so horny", he rasps, dragging his fingers up your stomach. Shivers run down your spine, goosebumps rise on your skin, your fingers fall from the clothing iron. Your hands land on his arms, caressing his skin. He kisses your neck as an answer, hot and wet and beyond all needy. 

"And you want me to do what?" you ask slightly out of breath, smiling fondly as your eyes flutter closed. 

"Have sex with me", he answers, nibbling on your jawline. 

"Yeah?" you shudder at the feeling of his lips, "sounds like fun." 

Truth speaking you had been horny for Jungkook the entire goddamn week. And it wasn’t the normal kind of horny, it was the astronomical-sized kind of horny. It was that time in your cycle when your hormones were going haywire and your sex drive was at its peak. Not being with him for five! whole days was literal torture. 

"Right? I think so too", Jungkook agrees in a rasp, leaving kisses up and down your neck. 

"Feels good", you breathe, reaching behind to feel his hair in your fingers. His erection feels so prominent against your back, making your stomach clench in desire. You crave him so badly. 

"I want you sweetie", Jungkook purrs against the shell of your ear, "can I have you?"

You twist around in his arms, hooking your fingers behind his neck. 

"Yes, you can have me", you rasp, wanting to pull him into a kiss. 

"Wait", he stops you, "first. We need to turn this off ", he says and flicks the off button on the clothing iron. 

"Good thinking, we don't want another hole burned into the fabric", you grin. 

"Yeah", he scoffs, "that we don't want."

This is not the first time you and him are getting all raunchy whilst doing laundry. Just like today Jungkook came up behind you to ask you for sex, except it ended with you forgetting to turn to iron off and burning one of your kitchen towels. There was so much smoke, your bedroom smelled of a bad barbeque place for two months afterwards. 

"So where'd you wanna do it?" he asks, massaging your hips, his hungry eyes racing over your face. 

"I mean the bed's the closest", you say, eyeing it. 

"Good thinking", he says, pushing you gently to get you to move. 

You giggle, fingers closing around a bundle of his hair. 

"You're going to make me fall."

Jungkook grins, "never", he rasps and kisses you. 

He tastes like your sugar cookies, so sweet. His lips are so soft. His heart races, you can feel it thump against your chest. 

One, two, three, four. Giggles. The kiss breaks. Stumbles, limps colliding with each other. 

"I told you that you'll make me fall", you giggle, fighting against gravity. 

Jungkook stumbles, squeezing your hips rather clumsily for support. 

"I have everything under control", he insists cutely, pulling you close. 

He kisses you again, except it is just your noses colliding with each other. Numb pain, then hot pulsating. 

"Ouchies, Kook my nose", you whine with a smile on your face, rubbing your nose. 

"My nose hurts too", he pouts, touching his pink nose. 

You giggle first, Jungkook follows. Another try. Lips meeting in a kiss, both of you still smiling and giggling like crazy. Being with him feels so good. 

Your knees collide with your bed. Gravity wins. With your fingers hooked behind his neck you fall onto the mattress, pulling him right with you. 

His warm body rests on you, crotch pressed against your core and elbows resting on each side of your head. 

"Gotcha", you grin goofily, legs closing around his middle. 

Fondness joins desire in his eyes, hips grinding against you. 

"You got me", he confirms. Not a second later and he dives down to kiss your neck and exposed shoulder. Slow and sensual, turning you on so good. 

You play with his hair as he kisses you, scraping your nails over his sensitive scalp lovingly. He loves that feeling. 

His hand disappears under your sweater again, pulling it up your stomach as he goes up your body. They feel so warm now, skin soft and his nails tickling most deliciously.

"Is that okay for you?" he asks, touching your breasts tentatively. 

"More than okay", you assure him, arching into him. 

Jungkook cups your left breast, massaging it slowly as he continues painting hickeys onto your collarbone. 

You are so wet between your legs already. It is soaking through your sweats, mixing with the wet stain Jungkook left behind. Up and down he grinds against you, chasing the dull pleasure your body is giving him. Long enough and he will cum just from that. 

He pinches your nipple and licks up your neck at the same time. It makes you moan, fingers twisting in his hair for the briefest of moments and legs bringing him in closer. 

"I'm so hard baby", he purrs, mouth pressed against your ear, "I want to fuck you so deep."

"I want you to honey", you rasp, dragging your hand down his torso until you reach the waistband of his grey sweats. 

Your eyes meet. Your fingers open the knot, hooking in the waistband a moment later. Arousal flickers up in his eyes. 

"Pull it down baby", his words sound like a mixture of a beg and an order. 

"Pull mine down too", you tell him, playing with the hem of his waistband. 

Jungkook reaches down and hooks his finger in your panties. You pull. He pulls. He gasps in the nice feeling of being freed. You gasp in pleasant surprise. He isn’t wearing underwear, as if he both already knew in the morning that it will be unnecessary later on. 

One second, you both use to wiggle out of your pants, and then you are together again. Jungkook is lined up with your entrance. One hand on your stomach, the other wrapped around the base of his cock. 

"I need your pussy baby", he groans, playing with your juices and smearing his own all over your pussy lips in the process. 

"I'm ready baby, fuck me", you say, holding onto his hips to press him closer. 

Jungkook enters you slowly, inch by inch he is stretching you open. He drinks in the view, breathing heavily. Your pussy squeezes around him so good. You are so hot, so wet, so soft. He only realises it now, when he is balls deep inside of you, how much he missed this feeling in the past week. 

"How are you doing?" he asks breathlessly, eyes meeting yours. 

"So good", you are panting, eyelids fluttering, "I love your cock so much." 

Jungkook leans forward, shivering when his cock slips in even deeper. Foreheads almost touching, lips so close and eyes connected in a lustful gaze. He is above you, holding still until you tell him to move. It almost makes him shake. He wants to fuck into you so badly, wants to feel how his cock is shaping your insides. But not before you give him the go, not before you feel comfortable. Jungkook isn’t the longest of guys, but he is most definitely not small, especially not in girth. He knows that sometimes going too fast too quickly ends up painful for you. 

"Are you alright?" he whispers, cupping your cheek. 

"Yeah, just want you to move", you moan quietly, placing your hands on his buttocks. 

With you guiding his movements Jungkook starts moving. He shudders, fingers twisting in the sheets. Every ridge, every clench, every pulse. Jungkook feels everything, he knows it is not long and he will lose himself to the feeling of you. He breathes your name, going deeper and eyes falling closed. 

"You're amazing", he moans, claiming your lips in a needy kiss. 

You suck on his lower lip as an answer, kneading his buttocks. He is so deep inside of you that you can feel his balls against your ass and his cockhead against your g-spot. Warm, almost hot, he feels inside of you. His thick veins are stimulating your entrance with every thrust. How you craved this feeling for the entirety of the past week. 

"H-how, how are you d-doing?" Jungkook checks up on you, eventhough speaking is hard. The way your pussy stretches around him drives him insane. 

"Feels so good", you moan, "I'm so full, it's so good." 

Jungkook shakes, knees almost giving up on him. You just got so wet, he can feel it fill your insides and coat his length. Hot, wet juices easing the slide even more. Jungkook goes harder. Body connecting with yours in rhythmic slaps. You clench around him, dig your nails into his buttocks and moan his name. 

"That's it, that's it, that's it."

Jungkook keeps the rhythm going, heart racing in his chest. He is breathless, floating on cloud nine. This is the perfect pace for him to feel you with every inch he has to offer. Cockhead crazing against the swollen bundle of nerves inside of you, his length rubbing against your hot walls, base of his cock getting squeezed by your entrance. He can feel everything with such intensity that his mouth falls open and high-pitched moans escape his chest. 

Your eyes fall on his face. Stomach clenching in lust. He looks so mesmerizing when he is lost in pleasure. It makes you so wet, the room soon filling with a symphony of slapping sounds and the slick sounds of your arousal. 

You reach between your bodies, chasing that exhilarating feeling of a finger on your clit. A moan escapes you. Three of your fingers rub messy circles on you clit. Deep warmth flows through your body steadily. Your legs hook at the back of his thick thighs. You want him closer.

"Feels so good", Jungkook whimpers at you clenching around him, "feels so damn good." 

His hips go deeper. Greed has taken over him. He doesn’t fuck you fast, but he fucks you hard. His balls slap against your ass with every thrust. Your bed creaks loudly, the headboard bumping against the wall every time Jungkook slams his hips down. Slow, hard thrusts, each of them calculated to get the most pleasure out of it for both of you.

“Oh my god honey, don’t stop, please don’t stop”, you moan, head rolling to the side. Finger speed up on your clit, the deep warmth crawls to the surface eliciting a sheen layer of sweat on your skin.

He grunts, furrowing his brows. There is straining in his thighs and he can hear his heartbeat in his ears. But you feel so, so good. So goddamn good. He won’t stop, this is all he needed this week. This is where he belongs, between your legs and buried deep inside of you. This is his place in the world. 

"Jungkook I'm so close", you choke out, quivering underneath him. Your toes are curling on the mattress, your free hand is grasping his wrist. You can’t hold it for long. 

"Cum for me baby, I need to feel it", he croaks, connecting his lips with your neck in a sloppy kiss. 

You freeze up underneath him and stop moaning. That's when he knows. Hot, angry clenches around his length and then you are screaming his name, squeezing around his length so tightly it forces the air out of his lungs. 

"Shit, oh shit, holy shit", he pants, moans spilling out of him and shudders running through his body. 

He must keep fucking you, he must control himself. He must make sure you get everything out of your orgasm. He keeps kissing your neck, almost sobbing in desperation at this point. His cock is so sensitive. Every thrust feels like fire, his tip can barely handle it. 

"C-can I cum? Please can I?" he pleads, gripping the sheets so tightly it hurts his nails. Not yet, must wait for permission. He is going to explode once you give it to him. 

"Cum for me", you say, hands disappearing under his sweater so you can drag your nails down his back. 

His skin burns where you scratch him, muscles flexing in response. His knees buckle, his heart stops beating for a good second. Like a punch in the gut it hits him. Hard and intense. He is left shaking and writhing, panting and moaning. He didn’t even realise how much cum had built up inside of him until he can feel it trickle down his balls. It feels so incredibly good. 

One last shake, one last clench of his stomach and then his energy leaves him. 

He squeaks, falling onto your chest. His fingers find your hair in an instance, his lips fall to your neck in soft kisses. 

"Baby, holy shit", he chokes out, feeling breathless and dizzy.

"Yeah", you agree, playing with his hair at the nape of his neck. 

"This was amazing", he kisses the spot where your jawline meets your ear, "did you enjoy yourself too?" 

"Yeah, I feel incredible", you agree, basking in the warmth of your afterglow. 

He raises his head, your eyes meeting in a droopy gaze. 

"I love you lots honey", he says, nose scrunching up cutely. 

"I love you even more sweetie", you retort, dancing your pointer finger down the slope of his nose. 

"No I love you more", Jungkook pouts. 

"Nope I love you more", you insist, giggling quietly. 

"Well, I love you to Neptune and back. And Neptune is the planet furthest away from Earth so I win", he explains, the slight lisp he always gets when he is passionate about something almost too adorable to handle. 

"Gosh you are so cute Kookie", you whisper, cupping his cheek, "kiss me."

And so he does. He kisses you so good it feels like you are actually floating in space, on your way to Neptune and back. 

[losersclublol]

today’s thought is stan with tics/tourette’s bc i have them too and my favorite hobby is projecting

(also i’m making this fem losers bc fuck you)

has bird call tics 200%

no bc they’d be spot on, they’d come out whenever she sees the bird the call belongs to

losers: “hey stan what bird is that one?” stan: “*aggressive whistling* nightingale”

i feel like she’d have coprolalia and it would pop out at the worst times

“miss uris, billie can do her own work but thank you for offering to help” “fuck off bitch, she’s stupid, sorry”

she’s get really frustrated bc of them, sometimes they mess up her work or knock something over a lot or make her hit herself. shits really annoying

losers would be great at comforting, they’d help clean up whatever fell over, get her ice packs and plasters(bandaids) y’know good friend stuff

h u g s

every time she hugs someone her tics hold on for dear life, the losers love it and always treasure it cause she’s not normally a hugger

they try and get to play games like uno as much as possible cause she always tics what cards she has or is going to put down

beep beep tic

richie hates it

i want her to have a hand chop tic from eddie, so she does

eddie will be ranting about richie or something dumb idk and she’ll do the wee hand chop

causing stan do also do it

“no because that was stupid and dangerous !*hand choppy* do you know how hurt you could’ve- stan stop mocking me”

“i’m not trying to dickwad *hits hand too hard* ow, that’s your fault”

“how is it my fault??”

richie unintentionally gives her soooo many tics. like they’ll be having lunch or something,

bill: “what have you got today, stan”

stan: “eddies mom *aggressive wink*. a sandwich”

when she has tic attacks richie knows how to get her calm the best

(shit is exhausting honestly they suck)

“you fucking bastard man *flips richie off*. sorry” “no it’s cool, there’s nothing to apologize for. you’re right”

every single time she has a drink that’s open at the top/not got a lid she spills it

the losers have to either hold her drinks for her or she needs a water bottle to put her drink into

they got her a sippy cup as a joke but it’s genuinely helpful jsjsjs

mike is on ‘she might fall so catch her lol’ and ‘she’s gonna hit bill in the legs again, god bills gonna eat shit, miiiiike help’ duty at all times

biting tic

not a full bite that will hurt but it’s a big enough bite to scare eddie

“SHE FUCKING BIT ME” “1. I OBVIOUSLY DIDNT MEAN TO AND 2. YOU WELL FUCKING DESERVED IT”

she has a wee kissing tic too, like a wee smooch, to the air mostly. but one time she kissed mike by accident, they both kinda stoped and malfunctioned for a while, then just went back to what they were originally doing

(the both of them were gay panicking for days on end tho bc stanlon rights)

has punched richie on multiple occasions

actually it’s every time they see each other

it never ends fjjdjdjd

but this post does !