#it is hard to casually communicate with people on tumblr because i have big social anxiety

[elfelt-valentine]

"oooo tumblr is made for communication twitter is just a cesspool of trash and bad opinions" i made more connections on twitter in tf community than i do on tumblr To This Day cuz saying things to people is much easier and very much expected when tumblr has completely different etiquette you losers keep spouting about every other month. i know my experience isnt universal but it really always comes down to navigating your spaces but with tumblr while its easier to navigate them i do find it harder to connect with people in this community.

[budgebuttons]

There's a lot of reasonably frustrated but ultimately misdirected psa-style posting about how viewers NEED to start reblogging things rather than just liking them because that is the primary mode of post circulation on this site. The modern manifestation of this sentiment seems to miss the fact that, if you've been here for ~15 years, were here prior to, during, and after the exodus to the bird app, you already know that likes have always been more common than reblogs, that many people simply don't want to put your art on their blog, and that guilting end-users into using a microblogging site A Specific Way absolutely does not work. If it did, the trend would have shifted a decade ago. Because this conversation really is that old. Regardless, the modern discourse of how difficult it is to be Seen specifically on Tumblr isn't productive because I think it ultimately misses the reason being an artist online feels so Bad, now.

The social media era has funneled Looking At Stuff on the Internet into an economy of engagement that encourages end-users to treat everything we/they see as quick, cheap, and disposable. This is just another fun and flirty way that capitalism devalues art. It's nothing new. Trying to force masses of users to behave in a way that is healthier for the circulation of art isn't going to do anything to solve the discontent we all feel when we hurl something into the void and it is ultimately ignored. I swear up and down: A higher notes number won't feel better, either. Popularity is just as demoralizing as radio silence, but it manifests differently. Instead of 4 likes and maybe 1 reblog from Old Faithful Mutual, you get a horde of people who treat you like a content machine. You keep hoping for an impossibly Bigger Number. The notifs on the first Big Number Post haven't even settled, and people are already asking when the follow-up is coming. You get anons, but most of them are trying to passively convince you to give them More Content.

It's really, really hard to make people care about art. If there was a silver bullet for making the average person appreciate the enormity of human effort behind every beautiful thing they encounter, we would have found it centuries ago.

The best thing creatives can do for their lives online is to be friendly, or at least kind, with other creators. "Big" artists don't form in-groups because they're snobs. They find each other because they casually showed each other support, and their mutual appreciation for that Thing that wound them up in the same tag becomes a foundation for connection, and in many cases, the ever-illusive Bigger Audience as they introduce themselves to each others' circles. We get more eyes on our work by building community with each other.

Where does that leave people who are just here to look at things, not post them? I think the answer is almost identical: COMMENT!! Please, comment! The first step to engaging with art on a more meaningful level is to point out something you particularly enjoy about a given work. It can go in the replies, it can go in the tags, doesn't matter!! If you notice some symbolism or make some connection, there is all likelihood that OP put it there because they desperately wanted somebody to notice it. Let them know why you like it!

Reaching for the nebulous, impossible goal of better post circulation isn't going to make being a creator online in 2023 suck less. Meaningfully connecting with each other can, will, and does. You can make someone's day just by passingly letting them know that their effort is worth more than a number.

[laprimera]

catching up to dash since early morning is wild. but since everyones putting their two cents in lemme throw a bet in from someone who's been in poke rpc for some seven or so odd years ( hell some people have been around longer LMAO ).

I see a lot of posts focused on the individual experience, and thats great and not so great at the same time. It's tumblr, I get it. For the longest time peeps have been putting up with their time and energy being spent on the outside just to get online and want to relax. Let's not forget the mental illnesses that make energy and attention just impossible literally to do things lmao.

I love seeing people taking steps to take care of themselves. The early days didn't have carefully made boundaries and I saw so many peeps get burnt out making this a job more then a hobby, getting abused, a lot of nasty stuff but all that changed when the attitude changed. It's been so much better for everyone that way.

But I also observe the community in this .. or lack of in some ways. There's also been a lot of people leaving because of little interaction or in some cases being shunned from events that are supposedly open. That's a recent movement. I remember dash wide spontaneous events, the rpc sharing and evolving a plot that may have started from one blog before connecting so many others, raid battles with legendary pokemon that went out of control, etc!

Im not saying you can't have a circle of pals. I sure do! I'm saying have instances of being open for others to interact and get involved. I'm sure a lot of peeps wouldn't have even met their pals without having that oppurtunity to participate in something small that became something very big! This hobby is great because there's a community to share and be apart of and to deny or shun new players or even current ones who want to be part of something great is counterintuitive for a community at whole. Whether thats rb'ing memes, letting peeps comment on ic posts or dash posts, having starter calls, making aus that aren't connected to a plot so it's easier to open to new engagement, etc.

Course there's the argument of "its my X so I will say what or who goes into X" and you're right! There's a perfect balance of boundaries understood and being made and maybe opening the narrative to players who genuinely look interested and try to join who listen to said boundaries and participate fairly and with anticipation.

But more then anything make it easy to do so. I also remember the period when people would put cryptic rule passwords in their rules. Like...Im talking they broke them up, scattered them around all around their tiny text, glow up pages and if you get one word wrong theyd tell you try again....lol. We don't need that. Getting the nuisances of society is hard enough least of all for the peeps who have conditions that make this extra hard. I'm talking from someone who has an extreme case of social anxiety (doctors word for it, not mine LAUGHs) and ADHD. I don't communicate or participate like regular players. In fact I only gauge how well I can play with someone by casual one off ic back and forth first and build from there. Maybe by the third or fourth interaction Im brave enough to reach out via DMs. I literally have panic attacks and take a week to answer IMs that come out of the blue asking to participate which is just the regular thing to do in the rpc, but I literally can't do that. Sadly I've been reprimanded for trying to have casual back and forths throughout the years despite how apparent I make it that I have a very hard time going into IMs or asks without knowing you first.

We should make ourselves accessible! We talk about making front pages accessible for those hard of sight, google documents to make things easy, icons and all that but don't really talk about making the important communication between peeps accessible for people with handicaps too.

All in all this is my opinion and observation! The community changes every few years and it's interesting to see how it turns one way or the other. You dont have to listen to me or any of this really! Be as private or as open as ya like. This is after all a hobby and Im literally turning into the old man in the corner on his rocker literally and figurately.

also fuck fetish asks. that has never changed and I hate it.

[transienturl]

maybe ridiculous to say but like

it seems so much more difficult to get to know someone without tumblr?

I think the microblog format sitting in this vaguely defined space in the middle of these other extremes of what you're supposed to post on social media sort of helps people find a place on the spectrum of how much you express yourself that they might otherwise have no reason to find. like, so few people actually go out and make "a blog," in the traditional sense, not just because of the technical process of setting that up but because there's an expectation that when you post on your blog you have something to say. it's like how many youtubers have their main channel only have big projects once they become popular and wind up with a personal channel or shorts or tiktok or whatever for content that doesn't feel in the moment like, oh, this is part of my oeuvre, this is just casual, you know?

while tumblr, I guess, has the reblogging-without-comment thing that you could be doing every day, because oh, you know, I'm just an aesthetic blogger or whatever, right? or oh I just reblog memes it's a fun time. but then, hey, you can talk in the tags if you want, no pressure. hey if there's something on your mind there's a full post form right here. don't worry, posts are pretty ephemeral, it'll get buried in your reblogs anyway, it's not a big deal, you don't have to put any effort into it. but, whoops, you're learning to express yourself, bit by bit. maybe you get 20 notes on a fandom post and go, hey, that's what it's like to communicate with a group, I think next time I'll adjust my wording a bit or whatever it is that that teaches you.

we always joke, you know, that we know so much about the people we follow on tumblr re: what they like and what they believe but so little about e.g. basic demographics, because it's true. but I think you can look at that from the perspective of like "haha tumblr means you don't know people's faces and real names," but also from that of like "look at all of these people who you wouldn't otherwise have known anything about at all"

I guess that turned into a post about something else, but the point I was originally going to make is that when the opposite is true, when you meet someone and learn their face and real name, it's hard to be like hey, how can I get to a place where I can talk to you about the things we have mutual interests in, from a shared context? sure I can try to pull information out of you and you can try to pull information out of me, but that just seems inefficient. the tumblr model allows one to organically find that overlap, by mutually pushing things out into the world instead of pulling on what's potentially the wrong thread. it just gives you a lot of information, because it provides a natural way for people to put that information out there.

I dunno. just thinking about this because of someone I'd like to be friends with who for various good reasons doesn't use public social media. and it's like, sure, I can have a regular conversation, that's not fundamentally a problem, but it's just so much complete shot in the dark where to go with it, as compared to people on tumblr I've never talked to directly but easily could.

[neighborlywelcome]

★ — Aaa! Hello! Unfortunately, it pains me when I accidentally press double back which leaves all my writing for matchups... That I was about to submit because I was finished... Oh well, time to redo :') help... (I'm not sure if is sent or Tumblr automatically steals it and eats it LMAO)

———

— My pronoun is she/her!! I am aro/ace as in fact I'm okay to be a part of a relationship... I prefer matching with a male! ★

— I'm a big fandom of TDAC so I'm here for that!

— I prefer not to be paired with Jax, unfortunately...

— my personality can happen to a stranger that I'm not a friend with. I can be more awkward in socialization, quiet, very chill, and clueless. I'm not good at understanding the jokes or what they mean. And my personality can be sudden the change that I'm friends with. I can be more laid back! I feel excited when I see my favorite person like I would run up to my favorite person and give them the biggest hug ever! I somewhat may be a little chaotic, and just a little gremlin doing weird things. I get playful, still get clueless, and depends on how dumb I am because I forgot what the left and the right side is... LMAO

— my hobbies are like... cozy? I'm not sure! I am an artist, I always love to draw and scrapbooking stuff to put in my sketchbook. I also love to listen to music. It helps me to relax and bring imagination to my mind. I also LOVE baking cakes! It's just so fun to make! (also I would love to make angel food cake for Caine ♥)

— what am I looking for a partner who is more... respectful, fun, playful, acceptable, helpful, and good at communication and understanding without judging? Yes, please! And I also like the partner who makes me laugh because my humor is 100% broken.

— my love language... I'm pretty sure I'm so much pleasing to physical contact! I love hugs! Hugging is my favorite! I like to hug my favorite person and favorite person squeezes me till my bone pops for good! I like hand-holding, cuddling makes me feel secure! (besides I am also comfortable with a PDA!) and lastly for giving the gift to! It just shows how much I appreciate and trust! :)

— for my zodiac sign is Leo ♌ !

— my aesthetic/style is like... Tomboy? I wasn't very fond of super girly aesthetic/style stuff because it's not my thing. I like wearing all the cool casual clothes! Men's clothing is the best... Oh my!

— my appearance can be shown that I have short brown wavy/curly(?) hair which is close to a pixie-cut hairstyle! I have hazel eyes, freckles, and black glasses. My height is around 5'0-ish! I'm very lightweight, so that means I'm easy to pick up LOL!

— FUN FACTS:

— I am a 100% fully deaf person. I do have both C.I (cochlear implants) that help me to hear anything and people talking! But a bit of a problem is that I do struggle to hear/listen. And I do prefer to have a close caption to easily understand what are they saying. I also do (ASL) American Sign Language to communicate, but mostly I talk without signing language.

— I struggle to pronounce the words it depends on whether the words look hard or too long. I usually do spelling the words out of my mouth. And the funny thing, is I struggle to pronounce scissors... 😭

— playing tic-tac-toe and go fishing card games are my favorite to play games!

— I suddenly will steal the clothes to wear... Whoops

— Oreo cookies are my most favorite to eat!

— I... Love... DINOSAURS!! AAAAA

———

That's all! Hope that helps you from me putting a bit of detail for TADC matchups! Remember this, take your time! No rush is needed! <3!!

Hi, thank you for your request! I’m sorry, it seems like tumblr did eat your first ask but no worries!

YOUR MATCHUP IS…

CAINE!!!

Hmm… funny, playful, and respectful? Caine is all of things and more! I think you and Caine would be a good match, seeing as he is a funny little AI who is eager to help with any and all your needs.

Okay, upon first meeting Caine, most of your relationship is him trying to get you out of your shell since you're socially anxious. This phase is pretty awkward since it's mostly him cracking jokes/doing bits you don't understand or laugh at. He's plenty outgoing (almost too much so) and probably manages to get you to open up more with him pretty fast!

Once you're more relaxed around him, Caine embraces your chaotic nature! As long as you're enthusiastic about participating in his adventures and games, he will match your playful energy. Also, he doesn't mind you getting confused, he will happily guide you through whatever it is you're clueless about. It is his role as ringmaster, after all!

Caine isn't used to idle hobbies like drawing or baking. (He much more prefers excitement!) But he will try for you when you’re in a relationship. He'll watch you draw or draw with you and even commentate, if you'd like! And if you bake him a cake? He'd be over the moon--literally!

Physical affection is also important to Caine, especially hugs! He'll give you a hug to greet you, to say goodbye, just because, etc etc. And Caine just likes PDA in general, he's always gotta be touching the people he loves, so you better believe he likes hand-holding and cuddles too! (He isn't... the best at them since he's an AI and all but he is enthusiastic, which more than makes up for it!) Also likes carrying you around so you have him to hold onto when he transports you from place to place...

He's more than accepting and willing to accommodate to your needs as a deaf person. If you ever need help or repeating, things like that, he will happily do so. He has his fun digital powers to make it so whatever he says to you is accompanied by closed captioning. And he knows ASL if you ever want to use that, since, as an AI, he has knowledge on all languages!

[parallelroutes-ooc]

[ MUNDAY: wow i never talk about myself, this feels so weird. (fair warning that i do tend to downplay myself.) ]

@ubiquitarian

❤️ — what are some of your best qualities?

i have been told by… a lot of people… that i'm a good listener.

friendliness. i highly enjoy being around people, even though i know i'm not going to be close with the vast majority of them. i'm just a social person by nature.

wisdom. i don't sound like it because i never have the chance to be? i also deliberately type like i normally do to make people feel comfy around me, so that doesn't help either lol. still, i enjoy being The Grandpa when i end up in communities with much younger people for this reason.

creativity. to the point where i literally can't enjoy media without taking inspiration and going right to my own projects and ocs/stories. it's a hassle struggling to absorb canon when i constantly have to muffle what i want to do to make sure i can pay attention RIP.

-

🧶 — any non-writing hobbies/interests?

lol there's a lot.

when it comes to free time… i primarily love mmorpgs, but i just don't stick to them with how much there is to do - never feels like i'm going to get anywhere and it's just overwhelming. i did do ffxiv, guild wars 2, blade and soul, aura kingdom/twin saga and had been pretty far in with all of them, but they just ultimately didn't scratch the itches i needed.

however atm, PSO2 NGS (phantasy star online 2, new genesis) is kind of my dream mmo? it's a new game, f2p is 100% viable, combat is really fun and feels really natural on ps4, i have a cute and outrageously beefy/OP level 19 character and solo everything, nothing is super hard to understand, perfect game for casuals like me who just play 1-2 hours in the morning and slowly chip away at the story/game. it's just basically everything i want in an mmorpg so i'm always just happy playing it.

shout-out to pokemon sword, rune factory 4, digimon story cybersleuth. old fav games are okami, pokemon emerald/oras and ultra moon, star ocean 3, .hack//GU, dark cloud 1+2. there's some i forgot by now but still.

then there's also making ocs and art. i am so so bad at fanart (hence why i stopped) but i did really well with drawing ocs back when i was still comfortable drawing. (designing weird monsters was a huge fav and i'd probably still be able to do it but don't have the desire/opportunity anymore so! and anthros/furries were super fun to draw! help! i drew too much!)

i'm also neglecting learning music production and japanese but they have been on my peripheral for 10+ years so someday i will actually do them. (neither will be very difficult for experience reasons but what is self-starting lol.)

i've never been too big on reading anime and manga so i tended to float toward jp games instead. but… i still have a hard time getting into something new so. lol.

fashion too. love making outfits. i used to be big into lolita fashion, visual kei, pastel goth. i still have so much punk stuff too lmao. pinterest is a hellhole to try and stop browsing if you like fashion/clothes in general.

-

😗 — what are some of your favorite things to do when you have some time to yourself?

generally, all the hobbies require effort that i don't necessarily have the energy or attention span to give, so it usually just ends up with talking to people, scrolling tumblr or twitter or reddit etc, listening to j-music.

this one doesn't have much to say, lol.

@queenharumiura

[ for 😗, see above! ]

🗒 — what is/are your favorite genre(s)/theme(s) to write?

fluff, hurt/comfort, weird plots that go really wild and meta, very short-term depressing/tragic thoughts, ships. i do like writing nsfw too, but definitely not here.

-

🤔 — what genre(s)/theme(s) do you struggle to write the most?

honestly? everything longterm. i tend to forget where plots are going, which is why i'm not great with RP plots or keeping track of hc characterization. i just don't have enough attention span to take notes or reread every rp ever BUT-- when i have an active/dedicated partner, i can keep rolling with something for a long AF time. (thank you in specific, neochan!)

serious answer is long sad/angsty plots. i just don't do that well with them unless i get in the mood, but i don't really want to be sad, so it's just not usually my thing if it's not just a thread or two.

there is also that long posts are pretty taxing too, but there's not much i can do about that because lol i just innately write with the intention of going back and rewriting. rip!

[stanleyl]

Hi, I just stumbled onto your blog and I want to have a little chat. This is going to be long and I hope you bear with me. I am both a T and Z fan but online I engage more with Tom's content (coz it's scarce enough as it is) so I would say I'm more of his fan. I think Tom fans have this thing where you internalise what you percieve (or what the Internet perceives) as his failures and i feel like that's not the most fun way to engange with fandom online. The internet these days is just a cesspool where a popular actor just has to be compared to his peers and right now all of Tom's peers seem to be doing better than him by metrics I think are important to you guys or at least what I've seen from your blog (critical acclaim outside of marvel).

In my opinion, online discourse surrounding Tom has reached peak hate because he's dating Zendaya (please note that I like them as a couple and any casual fans or stans of hers who go out of their way to spread hate are in denial about their parasocial behaviour) and those people are going to use anything in their arsenal to just put negative energy about anything concerning him out there. Look at how they tried to make Francesca dealing with racial abuse about him not speaking out rather than putting assholes like Elon Musk on full blast for allowing that shit in the first place. Logically we could all assume that since Tom is working with this woman everyday he has shown her support in person unless it's proven otherwise and that would have been the case if it wasn't someone twittersphere has a hate boner for. And now I see some fans worried about how that will have him perceived by the public which is a waste of time of atp it is what it is. The play sold out in 2 hours, the extra tickets in less time which is extremely rare in theatre. It shows that the demand is there for Tom's projects he just has to want to do more interesting projects. I know it's hard coz I understand the need to be part of an online community where you see other actors being praised for something you just know someone will nitpick if it was about Tom. But I just wish we as Tom fans would try to inject more positive energy about things that involve him rather than engage with content/ people who's main aim is to get people to dislike him.

I agree with all your frustrations about him pigeonholed as spiderman and him needing to do more roles outside of that but so long as he's not doing anything about it it's just going to be a frustrating conversation that goes round and round. Maybe it's because I'm older than a lot of people that run fan accounts but Tom is still relatively young and i think his career will be fine in the long run because all he really need to do is pick a great script that will guarantee him praise from critics coz as we have seen he can still sell shit. Whether he shoots another spiderman without another project outside of that I promise you he will be fine. I've realised that fans in all types of fandoms want things to happen now or else the conversation is that their faves career is doomed and its just not healthy. Coz if it is actually doomed none of us as fans can change that. I feel like it's magnified with Tom because of the haters I already mentioned but it just feels like the fandom feeds into that energy a little too much. There's too much illogical negativity and it's a bummer coz I join these spaces to have fun, real life is already a big bummer as is. Anyway, I'm glad there's a space for Tom fans on tumblr with your blog and I will be checking it out frequently. If you read this far you deserve compensation.

Actually, I think the majority in this fandom is quite positive (I am talking about the fans on TikTok and Instagram, and the ones in real life too who probably don't have any social media). I started this blog trying to engage with others by posting positive/fun stuff, but also as a place where I can express my own frustrations and complaints as a fan 😂. But as someone who was on Twitter for years, I watched many other fans' enthusiasm slowly dying because there's too much negativity over there (and when I say "fans," I don't mean fans of his Spider-Man, fanfiction writers, Z fans who "stan" him because of their association. I mean the fans of the actor). I know he'll be fine, but when I think abt the other fans, I feel like these days it's hard to follow someone who barely "goes outside," so there is barely any content to focus on when there's too much negativity and hate going on, on a daily basis, lol. I still wanna see him win with critics (not bc of my ego as a fan, but bc I think he genuinely deserves) and get the recognition as an actor, something beyond that character. But right now, unfortunately we don't have any concrete answers about anything 😕 except he's doing a play for three months.

[jjuuppiter]

Hi. Sorry if I’m speaking out of turn but I saw your post and elitism reblog and thought I’d chime in, as a former member of the fandom who has been lurking around recently. Disclaimer I don’t speak for OP but it seems like OP might have been from the first few years of the fandom’s existence based on what they said in the post so I’d like to offer some context that could have led to OP’s “bad” take.

There was a lot of crap going on behind the scenes or on social media with Astruc and Zag that led to folks disliking both the show for its narrative choices and the creator/staff (around S1-S2, years 2016-2018). No details to share, just know many were often at odds with Astruc and/or Zag as early as 2016 (ML premiered late 2015).

So it’s difficult to blame them for being bitter or hyperbolic because at the time, we were given this idea it would be a great story based on its premise. then S2 rolled in and we were often disappointed by story decisions or what appeared to be regressions of character development. In other words, promises not delivered, expectations not met, money over quality. It got to a point some of us were able to point out which episodes were done by the cheaper studio and which were by SAMG cuz the cheaper one often had inferior animation.

There was also a ton of fandom discourse regarding the sexualization of the characters, with many people on both sides of the issue. Some of the most popular fics *at the time* were rated M or E (like that one BDSM aged-up fic or the one where teenage Adrien had no idea what a woman’s period was and part of the fic was just them getting into very sexualized situations). Heck, there was so much discourse on Gabrienette (yes Gabrienette). Idk how things are now wrt fanfiction or the state of the fandom but that was what it was like when I was around. I suspect that’s why some people have since stereotyped the ML fandom as people who like sexualizing teenagers in fic. Cuz the fics (and art) at the time often did it, esp prior to the Tumblr Purge of 2017. The word “p*dophilia* got thrown around a lot too.

Now that the fandom is so big though, it’s hard to generalize the whole community or even to take issue with elitism 😅 (elitism was also something talked about during my time...it was no use). Now some folks who may be coming back probably do prefer just the fan art and AUs. But that’s them.

Again, I’m sorry if I’ve spoken out of turn. You may ignore this ask if you’d like and esp if you already knew everything I talked about 😅

hey thank you anon for telling me the early years of the fandom! i only casually watched the show for s1-s3 so i didnt know what was happening in the fandom before and i dont follow any of the creators of the show since i dont want my feeling fot the show to be influencd by them.

about fanfictions... im not gonna say much... but every fandom has their fair share of questionable fanfics and i think it's not something we can control anymore... people will write what they wanna write

and yep the person maybe doesnt have any ill intention when posting it but i still feel it's not right for them to generalize (and kinda mock) the whole ml fanfictions community even if they are a veteran... because tbh i found a lot of good fanfics from 2016 that i think are wholesome and arent sexualized at all... so i believe even in the early year of the fandom there were a lot of good contents too ^^

sorry if i said something wrong! this is just my opinion as one of the rookie mlb fans ^^

[ohshitmomitsawritingblog]

Yeesss an active Naruto account! So glad I found you 💗 I really like how you portrayed Kakashi in your last post and I would like to request J, O and Y for Kakashi and Hidan pls 💕

 Yeaahhhhh!! nart fandom is still going strong even in 2020! I started to re-read nart back in November of ‘19 and was really surprised at how active the fandom still was on twitter and tumblr. Im really glad you decided to shoot me a message! I really appreciate it, thank you so much! I’ll be real I saw your message and kind of lost it a little today, I was very nervous about Kakashi’s section so it’s really nice to hear that someone liked it!

Kakashi

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Jealous? Kakashi? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes? No! Maybe. 💕

Kakashi DOES NOT know how to function 80% of the time. It takes him a while to sort out his personal feelings - he thinks he knows what he feels, but when it comes to emotions, like jealousy, that demand a bit more naunce? It feels like fog is clouding over the word he’d otherwise be able to plainly zero in on.

Kakashi’s jealousy is quiet and something he fiercely keeps under wraps. I think there’s nothing that matters more to him in a relationship than his partner’s freedom and sense of self esteem, and I think he views jealousy as a kind of ownership/overstep he should be ashamed of rather than a human emotion that is neither inherently good nor bad by itself.

Kakshi gets jealous rarely, but when he does, it’s hard to swallow the feeling of shame that accompanies it. 

Kakashi is a prodigy, okay, he’s an amazing ninja and cook and house keeper amongst many other things, but he’s still really, really bad at the nuances of being human. Especially a human who isn’t ruled by his PTSD. His S/O spends too much time at work during his rare off day, and the rare pang of jealousy - that he does not act on in any way  - makes him so uncomfortable that he has to busy himself with something until they get home. And then he almost seems stand offish. It’s his way of giving them space, but his S/O couldn’t understand the reasoning behind it unless they spend years with him or have several conversations about it.

Basically, he’s spent so much of his life truly alone, socializing largely in a work environment context, that he has no idea how to operate in a domestic relationship.

On the flip side, Kakashi is so hellbent on hammering down the little every day pangs of petty jealousy he feels that when something big happens, like a stranger flirting with his S/O? He sticks his nose into the situation immediately. 

If it wasn’t sad it’d almost be hilarious - Kakashi can’t tell the difference the difference between situational, and relatively minor emotional bangs that feel similar to jealousy, to outright being DEEPLY territorial of his S/O.

Does he think they’ll flirt back? Hell no. Does he immediately chase off the guy with a well timed arm slung over his S/O’s shoulders and a bit of killing intent rolling off him in waves anyways? Absolutely. 

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Kakashi in love doesn’t show that he’s in love often. He’s a secretive guy and honestly, if he’s in love, he’s going to try to hide it as long as possible. From everyone.

This is only partially because Kakashi is shy about love - about 60% of the reason behind keeping things private is because he wants to hit that sweet ten year anniversary date and throw that fact out casually during a group luncheon and see the chaos unfold. 

He also does legitimately struggle with being open and intimate. He worries his S/O will think he’s embarrassed by them, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Kakashi in love is all about small intimacies. The brush of his fingers over his S/O’s bicep, the touch to the small of their back. Kakashi is surprisingly handsy, even in public. 

Of course, he’s a ninja, and he’s a little self conscious, so he usually does this in such a way that people don’t even catch it.

He doesn’t hold hands in public, no way.

He never lets them walk on his blind side. He just likes looking at them.

I can see Kakashi liking to touch his S/O’s hair often. He’ll pat the top of their head if they’re on the shorter side, tucking a stray lock behind their ear if their hair is long enough. There’s something so intimate about it, and Kakashi likes how quiet that touch feels to him. Sometimes it feels even better than kissing his S/O.

He picks them up from work most days, and they walk home together. In fact, the biggest tell that Kakashi is in love is when he spends most of his evenings with his S/O.

He cooks for, or more typically, with, his S/O almost every night. He likes spending quality, domestic time with them. It’s his way of slowly wading back into the very concept of cohabiting with someone after years of being alone. 

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Kakashi misses his partner a lot. I’m going to assume the most common reason for their separation is missions.

Kakashi as a young adult seemed married to his ANBU career, with his S/O as a side chick at best. 

Post team seven, he’s a little better with his schedule, but Tsunade relies on him a lot and it’s not like he can just tell her no. 

And then as Hokage? Well, actually sneaking out of the office seems to be like a fun new game to him, so–

Anyways, I think Kakashi copes pretty well, if only because separation is a constant in his life.

I think he has times where he’ll space out thinking about his S/O in the wee hours of the night when he can’t sleep. Otherwise, he’s focused on the mission. He needs to make it out of his assignments alive in order to see them again after all, and Kakashi post team seven doesn’t have a death wish. 

If he has an S/O during his ANBU days, his thoughts are more obsessive, fixated on the only source of warmth in his life that he’s allowed himself to have. I can imagine a few scenarios when he’s with someone in this very dark period of his life, and the entire thing could only be described as intense.

Anyways, pining is for people who can afford to get stabbed.

Ultimately, I don’t think anyone could ever tell Kakashi was missing anyone. He may seem a little quietly sad in moments, or maybe sigh for no reason, but I doubt anyone even knows he’s with anyone for years. See the above section.

Hidan

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Surprisingly, I don’t see Hidan as a jealous guy! 

If he is jealous at all, it’s over something minuscule and ultimately harmless, like being apart for a large gap of time. 

He doesn’t think his S/O would cheat (he’s a man devoted to god and his faith, has a blooming career AND a six pack, what more could a person want?) but it’s more so longing that turns into jealousy only when he toys with the idea of his S/O not feeling the same kind of longing. He wants his partner to mirror his feelings and doesn’t like feeling like his absence is easily glossed over. He totally gets into his own head and overthinks things.

He’s the type to gripe at his S/O. I feel like whining and slinging around insults is how Hidan communicates best and it gets even worse when he feels threatened or anxious.

He actually needs verbal reassurances a lot.

He’ll keep bitching until his S/O consoles him or speaks frankly with him.

I think Hidan’s partner is someone who could take care of themselves, so if they were ever the subject of unwanted attention, Hidan would step only to play up some white knight fantasy gone rogue. He’ll beat up (or murder) the offender and then make out with his S/O like some horny wild man.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Hidan in love is actually pretty low key. I think for Hidan, there’s flings, and then there’s the person he loves, who he’s gonna settle down with. He just assumes his life will be full of flings that are mostly for sexual gratification until he meets his S/O.

Totally does not expect to fall in love, ever, so he has no idea how to deal with it when it happens.

I think he prays a lot more when he’s in love. For spiritual clarity or forgiveness for these ‘weak’ feelings in him that presumably conflict with the teachings of Jashin, I’m not sure.

Kakuzu notices this and bitches at Hidan for wasting their time, but eventually stops when even he realizes how much conflict Hidan seems to radiate off of him in the early days of his romance.

Hidan also gets more violent, as if to compensate for being in love with his S/O. He goes on a straight up killing spree once he completely admits it to himself.

Comes to the conclusion that being in love actually makes him a better follower of Jashin, since he slaughters droves of people for the sake of your relationship.

Around his S/O, Hidan seemingly goes from incredibly tense and broody -almost guilt ridden in some odd way - when he hangs out with them, to something flipping a switch in his head and him going back to his normal, brash self. It’s weird. He kiss his S/O like he’s trying to eat them in public now. It’s kind of hot.

Hidan is such a freak that even the Akatsuki, which is a collection of freaks, don’t get that this entire slow burn horror movie scenario was over love until Hidan very loudly complains that he was interrupted mid-fuck during a summons. Someone mentions paying the sex worker extra for the interrupted time and tells him to get some ice. 

Hidan scuffs and loudly announces that he’s with his PARTNER right now. Kakuzu confirms but only sounds mildly annoyed because he’a eating Hidan’s S/O’s food and watching Hidan’s S/O’s TV. 

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Hidan pouts. So much.

Typically if it’s just a few weeks or days, Hidan doesn’t really give any outward indication of missing his S/O. He knows he’ll see them soon. He’s a chill guy when he’s not murdering people for pleasure and religious clout. The longer that gap of time is though? He goes from ambivalent to mess FAST.

It’s like someone flipped a switch after month three of his not seeing his S/O and someone brings them up and he’s like. Wait. When’s the last time I saw them again? And then his brain fuzzes out of existence momentarily when he does the math.

For real: Hidan is one of those guys who tries to be real macho about his S/O and him being apart for so long, but once he starts to think about it it eats him up.

He goes from trying too hard to insist he doesn’t miss them, to sulking on day two. Kakuzu wants to kill Hidan at least 200% more than usual because when Hidan sulks, he’s like a little kid.

He gets this sour look that just never goes away. He hunches his shoulders. Kicks the dirt or gravel on the road when they stop to rest for the day. Kakuzu would be inclined to ask what’s wrong but he knows better to open that can of worms.

Also does he really care about this undead shithead kid’s emotional problems? Only kind of.

He’s a ninja, not a therapist, and he’s making ninja money. Does Hidan have therapist money? Hidan doesn’t even have shirt money.

The pouty phase lasts for a while. It becomes less apparent, but as it turns inwards, Hidan becomes more violent.

Ahh, good ol’ Murder-violence! He gets more aggressive (if that’s possible) and prays more. Way more. 

On a more serious note, it does actually give Hidan solace to pray and affirm that if Jashin wills it, he and his S/O will see each other soon. He promises his Lord a plentiful sacrifice when that happens.

Once he sees his S/O again he pretends like he’s totally chill absolutely chill and didn’t even miss them one bit! He ruffles their hair and gives them that rough side hug that jocky, slightly redneck older cousins give.

[hoe-imaginess]

replies

I lost a bunch of replies from a few weeks ago, sorry!! I think when my inbox gets too full, Tumblr likes to delete my stuff

@hikaru-mikazuki​

thank you!!!! Fatherhood is a tricky thing for Hawks, but it works out after a little angst <3

@mariamatuni​ 

hello!!! yeah Tumblr messes up sometimes :/

I’m doing alright. Still dealing with finding the right meds/dosage for my sleeping issues, and I’m social distancing still because of other health reasons. So being indoors this long is really taking its toll, understandably, lmao. I’m just trying to find ways to stay active and productive! Whether it’s reading, writing, cooking, doing crafts, etc. Thank you for asking! <3

THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY THANK YOUUU! I’m really on my Dabi shit these days and I really hope the Dabi content is good. (the roommate fic was updated in case you haven’t seen!!!! it was one of my favorite fics to write tbh)

srsly though thank you so much!!

Thank you so much!!!! Honestly, he seems like he would appreciate a casual approach, rather than his crush coming up to him and being romantic/flirty from the get-go. Even if he has feelings for them, a direct approach like that will really throw him for a loop

He thinks it’s SO improper of her tbh. Very ‘un-ladylike’

Yes I definitely think Madara’s insecurities can show up in a relationship, especially when he really cares about his s/o. 

Hello! I can’t remember if I’ve answered this already so sorry if I have—I don’t think Madara or any Uchiha would force the termination, but I think they would make life hard for mother and the baby, and the mother knows this, so she would (based on the way I wrote the MC in the fic) do it herself. And the uchiha would probably expect her to

I actually don’t have a tik tok but I’ve heard of the thirst community on there lmao ESPECIALLY for those two

Omg thanks so much AHHHH!! I love writing Dabi so much, I hope to have more for him out soon

THIS MAKES ME HAPPY AH! I’m glad you liked them!!!

I change my mind so much about what Hawks would be into because I can see him being really open, but at the same time, really firm about what he wants. I definitely think he’s open about sexual relationships, but personal, intimate relationships with a romantic partner definitely need to be treated more carefully

Thanks so much!!!! Hope you’re doing well too!

I honestly have a small draft in my docs about a reverse situation where reader is the one suffering from the aphro. quick and Dabi has to help her out buttttt idk if that’s technically a sequel?? Who knows. Would be pretty interesting though... lots of people have mentioned it, so I’m definitely thinking about it

I think he can be sadistic but I don’t think he’s a fuckboy at all. At least not in the sense that he’s a womainizer? Like, at least the way I write him (or try to) is that sex is far from the first thing on his mind, but he’ll indulge it when he sees the opportunity. I think there’s a bit more room for him to be *sexually active* in AUs? Like, an ABO fic, for example

And as for why that interpretation exists... idk! Can’t stop horny fans from being horny ya feel lol

I haven’t written anything for mm in a longgggg time! I only played the basic routes before they added more to it a few years ago

THANK YOU!!!

<3 this message gave me serotonin 

I.... tbh it’s not my cup of tea!!!! Something about it just makes me feel weird sksksksk. A friend bought me a subscription so I could check out the patreon page, but it wasn’t really for me. Maybe I’ll try to get into it again at some point!

!!! Thank you!!!

I definitely feel like that’s a big madara thing!!( Dabi.... it depends lol)

GOOD!!!! We love our Hot Topic King

I guarantee you people have poked fun at him before because of that and he tries to laugh through it like hahaha :D yeah super funny guys :D but on the inside he’s -.-

I’m so glad!!!! This makes me very happy, I hope I can continue to put out good stuff for you <3 tysm

Thank you!!!

I can tell you rn Tobirama would walk in then walk right back out sksksk

I 100% agree with this. I’m not sure if he’s a virgin, but for the sake of writing the smut people ask for, I feel he’d be... someone who enjoys sex as an outlet for stress (and sometimes anger). But it’s literally one of the last things on his mind. When he’s in the moment, sure, he’s focused on it. But he’s not constantly thinking about sex, or seeking sex, or anything similair to that

Thank you for this <3

I think if it’s really intense he purposely detaches some of the feathers he knows will get in the way—otherwise yeah his wings totally twitch and stretch and shake when the sex is BOMB

I can definitely see that!

I’m really into Dabi rn to an unfathomable degree... I can’t escape. I’m definitely into BNHA right now but I’m still working on Naruto projects, and a few other fandoms

why of course (;

Thank you so much!!!!!!

I honestly wonder about this like... when I write Dabi smut... do I include the Pube Issue??? Let’s just pretend it doesn’t exist

Thank you so much <3

I think he would appreciate it at first, but after a while he would start feeling sort of... inadequate? Basically, like he’s not stepping up like he should. But at the same time, he still has his hero work, so it’s difficult for him to take initiative and be like “Nah, you know what? I’m ready for fatherhood” 

I do have one I need to put out soon! It’s just sitting in my drafts. I really need to work on it

I’m really into the idea that Hawks still has bird-like instincts so him/his family having the SHINY THING?? fixation is.... so funny to me. But that would definitely make sense!

LMAOOOOO hell nope. couldn’t be me. sorry pre-design Hawks

He would definitely see where she’s coming from, and honestly, might be a little relieved to hear it, AT FIRST. But then the guilt would come to him, and like what happened in the fic, he’d probably come around and convince her to make it work

GOOD!

IT REALLY IS! I always think about this tbh

Yeah y/n really out here having fun isn’t she!!!

For the canon AU fics I write, yes definitely! I really don’t think I could exclude hero work and keep the fic loyal to the culture of hero society. It gives a lot to their character, but honestly, it creates more room for angst. Which I love <3

Not really! I mean, we see so little of them that most of the way I see/write them is really just me digging deeper to see what fits. Sometimes I’ll rewatch a scene from the show and think of something new, but otherwise, most of the characterization really just stems from the little bits we see of them. I take it and run with it lol

HONESTLY you’re absolutely not wrong

[punk-rock-uncle]

A final good bye and final log out

This is not a suicide not so no need to worry. Many of you that follow me probably barely remember my blog, it wasnt very big or fancy. I barely know how to code or make my blog look like anything but, that is neither here nor now. I wanted to say good bye I have a bad habit of leaving without saying anything and disappearing for weeks at a time. I guess abusive relationships will teach you that. I went silent on this blog around 3 years ago when I started college. But I wanted to talk about why I started this, the ending will be saved most obviously till the end. I started this blog in a way to find friends, in 2012 internet friends were all the rage and I wanted to be a part of that so I started a tumblr. But was not active on it till 2014. In high school I grew a bit of a following around sophomore year 2015. I would constantly rant on this account and people would watch but not say much. It bothered me a bit that I was never “Tumblr Famous” but I knew people who were, so I would live on through them. Tumblr a lot in high school, I was too afraid to do anything but I knew in the back of my mind that I would get there in my own time. Tumblr, in that sense was kind to me and never made me feel like I had to be pressured to do anything and would constantly educate me from maters of social justice and the Black Lives Matter movement, sex education, gender expression, sexuality, art and astrology. I saw all the drama and surprisingly enough stayed away from the super toxic side of tumblr pushing minors to do more and more and more.  It was safety net and whenever my parents would do what they do best I always had the arms of my blog to run and cry to. It made the darkest days a little brighter, people reblogging free movie sites and calming gifs were my saving grace when I was 14 and suicidal. As high school went on I found myself in a relationship and put all my time, money, effort, energy, my whole being into this one person who would end raping me an using my past against me. I was still active and would talk about him on here including our fights. But as the fights got more violent and heated, the less I would post about him and one day all together I stopped posting on here, for what I thought was for good. I wanted to reach out on tumblr and ask “is any of this normal?” “why do we fight so much?” “is it normal for your partner to make you feel this afraid?” “is it normal for them to talk about sex 24/7″ “is it normal to feel afraid and cry during sex?” I wanted to reach out so badly. I knew I couldn’t and it was a stupid reason why I couldn’t. I was afraid of the judgment, because no one here talks about the small intricacies of domestic violence and how it breaks down every part of you. So I went quiet, I stopped talking about him, stopped posting him and he never care. I was put on meds after he raped me, stopped sleeping and eating. After the meds failed to stop the development of PTSD I started smoking and drinking heavily. After all of that I stopped being on tumblr because things were not the same and stuff that made me happy before just stopped bringing me joy. I thought no one here would care about what I have to say and his words and actions confirmed that even more. Eventually I broke it off 8 months later and my friends never believed me that he was abusing me. Life is better now, I lived abroad, I have an apartment with a new boyfriend, hes nice we have our ups and downs but we came from a hard life so someone loving you is a hard thought to accept for both of us. We both have toxic cycles we need to break but he’s good and he’s teaching me to be kind. I would love to continue on this hellsite but I have other things now, bigger and better things. I am just simply a ghost now of a website where I used to poor out all of my traumas and for one last time I will do that. For any 16 year old who stumbles across this post please read through till the end (if you can) because I want to tell you things I wish someone told me at 16/ entered my first relationship.

Your bf, gf and/or partner should never do/say these things and other small warning signs of DV 

1. if sex hurts a lot for you it is because you are not comfortable, communicate this and if they refuse to understand why leave 

2. If your partner scares you so much to the point where you have a panic attack thinking about them, then leave 

3. you will fall out of love in your first relationship, as shitty as it is, it’ll happen. It’s okay, you can leave. Just like you out grow clothes you will outgrow people. 

4. let people leave, I know this is hard to accept but people will leave and the universe will have something in store for you 

5. YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE HAVING SEX AT 16 IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO I LOST MY VIRGINITY AT 19 IT IS NORMAL!

6. it is normal for you and your partner to have conversations about what to say when people constantly ask you if yall have done the deed it is not normal for your partner to tell you to lie and say you have (when you havent); leave if they do this trust me 

7.If your partner is asking about sex 24/7 and its making you uncomfortable then say something, maybe they don’t mean any harm by it! but if once you’re done with the convo and it didn’t make you feel better you should leave 

8. its okay to leave 1st relationships aren’t meant to last 

9.something my mom said that made me feel better: just because you’re breaking up now doesn’t mean you’re breaking up forever 

10. please don’t force yourself to have sex it’s a very toxic cycle. Easy to get into but hard to break out of 

11. you can be alone, you don’t have to date all the time

12. if your partner's parent is bullying you tell your partner that it makes you uncomfortable talk to them about it. Now I understand parents are hard especially when your 16 and younger (hell parents @ 21 are still tough to deal with) and if your partner says “well I can’t tell them off because of xyz” then make a compromise on how to deal with the situation. If your 1st partner’s parents don’t like you it’s not the end of the world and if bugs you that much YOU CAN ALWAYS LEAVE 

13. on the other hand if you tell your partner, they don’t take it seriously and they still beg you to visit their family then leave, you’re not married you’re young I will probably say this a thousand more times BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS LEAVE 

14. YOU CAN ALWAYS LEAVE, YES IT WILL SUCK, YES YOU’LL CRY AT EVERYTHING BUT IT IS OKAY NOTHING IS PERMANENT AND THAT IS A GOOD THING 

15. do not waste your first relationship on couples counseling ( yes I did that and he still owes me $250 for the session I was dumb & 17 don’t get mad @ me) 

16. if your relationship makes you extremely angry leave, that anger means something, listen to it. 

17. if you are like me and was raised in a very abusive household with parents that constantly abuse you just know that not every relationship is like that and you won’t be like them but, you have to actively work on it not just say it out loud (BUT it does help saying it out loud, v comforting) 

18. if you break up, stay broken up (sometimes it works out for the better if they really want you they’ll try) 

19. NEVER LET YOUR PARTNER’S MOM DICTATE WHERE YOU GO TO COLLEGE TRUST ME YOU WILL REGRET IT 

20. if you are begging for the basics leave 

21. if they ignore your food allergy leave 

22. if they’re a mama’s boy please leave 

23. if they ignore your fears leave 

24. if they think violence is casual and necessary for relationships leave 

25. listen to their ex’s even if you take it with a grain of salt please listen 

26. if you need to come up with an escape plan you’re in a toxic and possibly abusive relationship 

27. it’s okay if you don’t have the courage to leave right now but know, you can’t stay forever 

28. if they use past trauma against you, leave. 

also a word of advice for friends who know people who have been in DV situations

1. if we trauma dump just know we are sorry but please stop us and talk through it later (if you can) 

2. don’t ask why they didn’t leave sooner it’s not your buisness 

3. we don’t know we are being abused, if you know but we don’t please be patient. The mind is a tricky thing. 

4. DO NOT SAY “how did you not know” “you’re stupid for not knowing” “you’re making it up” “told you so” or anything else condescending, we feel stupid and we just want support 

well that’s all I have folks! Thank you tumblr for all the laughs and all the cringe.  I hope this post is insightful and please feel free to add on.

love <3 

Punk-Rock-Uncle :) 

[yooleestruck]

in which lee rambles about how great writers are

I don’t really know what this is. I don’t know if now is the right time to do this, or a really bad time, or if it makes any sense, but I want to talk about it! I feel like a broken record saying ‘the writing matters most, the writing matters most’ but maybe I need to show what I mean by that? So, here is an attempt. 

I’m sorry not all of these are the same length and not everyone is here, because every time I see that someone is a writer I do try to follow but I don’t always know/remember! Also I am weird about this sort of thing and don’t want to tag people in a monster-long post, so I’m just going to link. I also don’t want to make this a producers vs writers thing, it’s not, it’s just, when I say I notice writer-stuff, an explanation of what, specifically, I mean. 

Writers have a style fingerprint. I’m sure someone with an actual creative writing or English background could describe it all academic-ly, but my ex-chemist ass is just going to call it a fingerprint. 

My first game in Lovestruck was Starship Promise - I love Firefly, I’m a bisexual disaster scientist by education, it fit. But I had been REALLY put off by GIL when it first came out (this was back when they released stories in parts? And the heroine, which I will get to) and though I’d glanced at AFK, I mistrusted it after GIL and Medusa, who was who I was interested in, wasn’t out yet. So I resisted a LONG time.  I finally picked up LS and SP and played it explicitly because a friend said, you need to give this another chance, for a list of specific reasons. 

And when Atlas’s route came out, I read it a stupid number of times. I must have re-read his season 1 & 2 at least eight times apiece (he is still my most read route, despite the fact I have not read his last season because I want to leave the story open-ended)  so when I read Neil Dresner’s route, I recognized the fingerprint. Not only that, when I was reading Jett and the episodes with the paint scene (YOU KNOW THE SCENE) came out, my breath caught with how lovely it was, a particular in-between moment and touch, and even though it wasn’t a phrase I had seen, the style of it, had me re-reading (because it was gorgeous) again and again from the log for like five minutes and I thought, “I bet Melissa wrote this” AND SHE DID. 

Physical touch! (& in-betweens)

Melissa-grey has a particular way of writing about physical touch in very emotional moments that is very real and grounded and ironically the effect is just magical. It creates these so skillful “in between” moments, those little things that aren’t dialogue and aren’t metaphor but SHOW you that this closed off person is cracking for their little ray of sunshine. They are SO subtle and so beautiful, like, the heroine noticing the scent of a pillow, or a softening of an aborted hand movement.  She sets up and executes these moments of physical touch as a conduit for emotional touch with characters who aren’t ready to admit he latter and it’s DELICIOUS. Those little in-betweens are what I live for in story - and it includes all the supporting cast moments, who swell up to make the world feel lived in, and balanced (I loathe love stories where no one else exists! That’s a recipe for disaster, people need networks) I noticed when she stopped writing, and because I missed it, I went and bought the entire Midnight Girl series, as well as Rated (I hope that is flattering and not creepy!) and that style of writing is so unique, that without KNOWING, I picked it up in four separate routes (noticed in Sev’s s1, too!) 

Pacing (& friggen heartache)

Another fingerprint! Ripping your heart out! Arthoure has had me in tears, MULTIPLE TIMES and I get very grouchy about it every time because I am the least sentimental and romantic person that I know (I once MOVED STATES to avoid an ‘I love you’ conversation. I once said ‘yikes’ in response to an ‘I love you’ and I once broke up with someone because I thought he was going to propose. I’m a bitch) but I think it’s because of pacing! I know that producers play a role in that, but that actually makes it more impressive, because making each bit of story feel like it fits precisely the amount of space it needs when you don’t really get a say in how much space that is has got to take a MASSIVE amount of effort. Every little hint, every emotional beat, every character tell, they drop at a consistent build so the emotional payoff is just brutal (in a good, cathartic way?) every time a route makes me cry I wait and see and YEAH ITS ALWAYS ARTHOURE. The sweep and sentiment of Remy’s season 2 is unparalleled. Across Time is gutwrenching, and I actually stopped reading Renzei at one point because I was so emotional over it I had to like, LEGIT TAKE A BREAK to recover. Pacing and heartache. I have to stop and wonder - is it because the routes themselves are so gut-punching? OR is it because she knows how to wring every last emotional drop out of whatever story framework is handed to her? Because, Ezekiel’s villain costume is a bit silly (there I said it, it is) I get the cobra helmet shape in theory but in practice, ooof, but POINT BEING despite being skeptical I’d be able to take his story seriously as a result, I was hiccuping from crying so much (and I am gosh darn adult, in my thirties, with three degrees and a high-stress job at pretty major company. I DON’T CRY EASY)

 Dialogue (& heroines!)

Xekstrin is the gosh damn master of dialogue. Clever, witty banter that doesn’t go where you expect it to, meandering but natural topic changes that are delightful to follow and feel real, and--special shoutout for this, okay--the navigation of viscerally important topics like consent, kink, self-worth, power in relationships, self-sacrifice, and apologies in a way that is not stilted or forced at all (listen, I know Viv & Lyris are the most recent and they are amazing but I remember this first hit me when I was reading Astraeus, and I spent half the route with my jaw on the floor going, oh shit,  oh shit. The communication! The navigation of the complexity of emotion going on, chef’s kiss! Casual isn’t the right word, but, natural, maybe?). I don’t actually take that many screenshots of the app--it’s usually single lines that get me--but when I do, they are almost always conversations from one of her routes, because they’re so damn good, and often so unexpected, and yet always make such perfect sense for the characters involved. Dialogue is SO HARD OKAY. Actually try and transcribe a conversation sometime, it’s nuts how people talk vs how most people write people talking. Xekstrin also writes some of my absolute favorite MCs, and going back to fingerprints, I was reading Lyris s1 and right there in the first tavern scene, as we were following along with the heroine’s thoughts I went, ah, yes, I know who you belong to and I am SO EXCITED. Being able to give the heroine unique thoughts and quirks, to make her genuinely relatable, without overriding the necessary template of the genre dictates, is a skill all of its own. But I love her MCs! There is a beautiful balance of compassion, competence, and dash of bratty, wild, fun mischief. I can actually cheer for them. I can actually get behind them. I WANT the love interest to flop at their feet for who they are, not just because the story says so. And that comes from how the heroine’s thoughts are written, from her phrasing in conversations, how she sees situations, not just a producer saying ‘she is a strong lead who is self conscious about her ears and she’s nervous in the council meeting’ or whatever. I AM REALLY STRUGGLING to articulate this if you can’t tell from how long I have been blathering. Maybe this - the heroine is the same across every route, presumably, yes? Everyone has the same base. I NEVER question, when xekstrin is writing, why the love interest falls in love with her. Side note - I had hard written off GIL after a bad experience with the standalone app. I only read Aurora BECAUSE I learned she wrote it, and I would have SO MISSED OUT otherwise.

A complete aside in which Lee grumbles about heroines and not writers!

(Complete side vent: Often, the heroine is, if not a blank slate, a sort of collection of assigned traits, and she often remains so unless the story demands she become otherwise. Which is fine! I don’t personally, but I know a lot of folks self-insert, and so erring towards that makes sense. Almost all the otome I’ve played were originally written for a Japanese audience. When I played original Voltage games, starting back in 2014, I always had to remind myself - different culture, different culture, different culture, and it was not possible for me to relate to most of the heroines. I still enjoyed the stories, but I rarely cheered for the heroine’s romance, especially in some of the slice of life stories. I understood her, but I rarely wanted her to get with the love interest, I wanted her success to come in other ways! Another game company, Cybird, tried to ‘Americanize’ their heroine to IMO disastrous effect - it was such a stereotype, and made no sense since they didn’t also Americanize the context, so she come across as, frankly, ridiculous. And frankly, Voltage’s GIL heroine REEKED OF THAT. When they first posted her on social media I was legitimately annoyed about it, like could you lean into this more? I think not. So when I talk about being able to relate to and cheer for the heroine, it’s a big deal, because my blatant mistrust of Voltage and their ability to craft a heroine I could tolerate was a BIG factor in how long it took me to give Lovestruck a try. I was willing to tolerate it in translated stories, I was so skeptical of -en only ones.) 

Metaphors (& balance)

literacouture writes beautiful metaphors for connection between humans! I’m really bad at keeping track of who writes what, but I purposefully kept an eye out on tumblr after reading Cal’s route, because there were some lines that were pure poetry, and I wanted to keep an eye out for more. It is HARD to spin metaphors prettily without delving into trite, painful, purple prose cringe territory, and it’s navigated beautifully in Cal’s route. There’s a balance between those spin-out moments and things that are tangible and anchoring and make it feel authentic and unique to the two characters involved, instead of just ‘I am trying to make this sound romantic and this is a romantic phrase so here it is’. That balance is really necessary. You NEED the mundane alongside the metaphor or it doesn’t feel authentic. Also. Trying really hard to write this without throwing any authors or producers under the bus, but...listen. I love Sin with Me. But the world logic (or LACK THEREOF) drives me up a wall. I don’t read Cal because of his character traits or sprite or (sigh) his story. I read him because literacouture writes a beautiful romance.

 So anyway...

There are more! When I am less tired and don’t have meetings, I will try and write them up (Please know there are so many routes I love, and so many things I do recognize across chapters! I don’t even HAVE words for what theivorytowercrumbles accomplished with Helena’s story not to mention how much I adore Cyprin,  SummerLightning’s handling of Onyx’s past relationship was so deftly done when it could have so quickly become ‘milk abuse for plot’ and joidecombat gave Sev a fresh, mischievous energy and navigated the dream/reality line with SUCH skill, and so on and so on.)

I’ve written a lot of reviews. And I try to give nods where I feel they’re due - sometimes, it really is obvious that the whole team’s work came together to makes something great, the world, the plot, the arc, the art, the words, and the music all fit into place in a  well-crafted tour de force. And sometimes one piece or another is lacking, and I’ll admit I’ve left some...less than kind reviews to that end (I try and soften it, because I know there are humans on the other side of everything, but I’ve been harsh more than once with my opinions).  I’ve read routes with plots that made me want to tear my hair out because I DO value consistency and logic to a degree, even if I’m going to accept at face value that, say, space travel is a thing or demons turn to sand when stabbed. 

In the end, these are romance stories. So I will let a lot slide when it comes to plot. What sells a story are the words - not the outline.

And if Voltage doesn’t believe that - just remember that Hamlet existed long, long before Shakespeare wrote it. His was the version that lasted, because the people liked it best. The plot, the world, the characters, they all existed a hundred times over. Even just look at fan translations of manga. Why do people keep translating, even if someone else has? Because the words someone else picked don’t do the story justice. 

I don’t know. I’m talking in circles because I don’t know my own thesis! 

Maybe it’s just - the worlds these stories in are nice. But when I say I’m a fan of something, the premise is like. 10%. The rest is the writing. 

[queenangst]

The problem with trying to talk excitedly about ideas and AUs on tumblr to get interaction is that you need to actually have followers for that to happen. But it can be hard to get attention because tumblrs search function with tags is crap so you're reliant on other people finding it by magic accident or trying to make friends which when you're a socially awkward person can be very trying especially when you're not interesting enough or big enough for someone to care about. It's exhausting.

I understand that. Completely. 

I know this might sound... hm, arrogant or far-fetched coming from me—I certainly have enough self-awareness that I’m no “small” creator. But also remember I wasn’t always a “popular” creator, and actually some of my original content in terms of feedback is really, really disproportional. So I hope this doesn’t come off as patronizing but rather some actual advice that may (or may not) be helpful. 

You have to keep trying, and keep posting. 

This is where you need to expand. Tumblr, and by extension Tumblr fandom culture, is not kind to creators. Especially small ones, but even in general. The way the tags work, the way work is shared, the way feedback works (heavier like-to-reblog ratios on Tumblr), and especially for writers because social media is a visual platform. Even I struggle with this, too. 

Make your posts as palatable as possible. This varies with preference, but make sure your posts are at the very least organized and easy to read. 

Post on Tumblr. Post on AO3. Post on whatever social media site works for you. Cross-post. And link your shit. If you post a story on AO3, link your Tumblr in the notes and encourage readers to say hi—a lot of people might check you out, but you have to make yourself accessible first. 

Tag a lot. Don’t tag anything irrelevant, but tag a lot. A small fraction of people who look through tags will see your post, and a smaller fraction of that will be interested enough to reblog. But that number might not be zero. Boost your own posts, too. 

Encourage interaction with the followers you have. 

Reach out and talk to other creators. You should not be strongly soliciting other, more popular creators with the intention to use their platform to further yourself; but at the same time, we all like hearing about ideas and talking about things and playing with a new shiny. I certainly do. I know quite a few of my friends would probably be happy to hear about ideas, too. Don’t be scared to reach out to creators you admire to share your ideas. If you are, send me an ask. I’m happy to listen. I mean it. 

(And just try and make friends? Don’t just share your ideas, because it’s a two-way street. Get excited about their content, talk about their ideas.)

Also, sidenote, don’t treat popular creators like they’re unreachable. They have blogs. They want to talk to you. Surprise... they’re people just like you, and they want to talk about their ideas and hear about yours. Reblog their content, send them asks, strike up a conversation. 

Support other creators, and you will find yourself supported, too.

You don’t have to be popular for someone to like you or to be interested in your content. On Tumblr, follower numbers are kind of arbitrary unless you’re a really big creator, and no one knows how many followers you have unless you share it. No one’s going to say “I’m not talking to you because you only have x amount of followers.” I know that’s not what you meant when you said that, because yes, the more followers you have the more likely your content is going to be spread, but it’s also complicated. High follower count =/= high engagement, it’s just that at some point you have enough of a percentage of that follower count that does want to engage. Focus on engagement—ask games, make posts, ask your followers questions.

And... go smaller. When you’re on a large social media platform, it can feel like shouting into a void because there can be hundreds or thousands of posts daily across various tags. You can’t expect to always get “noticed” or picked up relying on Tumblr alone. 

Find communities. Find one or two people who will listen to you. Join Discords; there are so many out there that can put you in smaller circles that have a more open, casual line of engagement with other fans. General, ship focused, character focused, writing Discord... there are whole communities out there, and one of them could be right for you. There are even creator-specific Discords (I have one of my own), so if you like a certain creator and they have a Discord, definitely join it. You’ll probably find other like-minded people. 

Here’s the link to my No Writing Academia Discord. Here’s the link to Annie’s Angst Association. 

I know it’s exhausting. Do you know how many times I’ve looked at my content, at my notes, and been so frustrated that fandom just doesn’t support original content? That people are more inclined to like rather than reblog? What looks like a hundred notes will really look like eighty likes to twenty reblogs, sometimes. At the same time I feel incredibly lucky to have the platform I have, because I do have one. I know. I know. 

You have to keep trying. 

(Edited with more additions.)

[wolfye]

Mysticon Reboot Ref Sheet

Hey Mysticon fandom, I know you're starved for content, so take my notes on what I think the reboot should look like. Well not what it would look like, just kinda my ideas and rewrites for the rewrite I'm doing. And don't steal these desgins/ repost, thanks. This is my own perosnal thing I'm putting on my tumblr because I can search for it later. So, uh, Enjoy!

Arkanya Goodfey

Age: 16

Appearance:

She is tall and fit female with chestnut brown eyes with flecks of gold, porcelain skin, and deep ruby fusion hair. Her face is almost always in frown, but it is often treated with anti aging cream.Her face is pristen, and so is her skin. She has incredible posture, and quite skinny. Her casual clothes is a short dress up to her thighs with a long sleeve shirt with no shoulders underneath.She wears fancy jewelry as a reminder to others that she is royalty, as well as white tights. Her mysticon emblem is worn as a hair pin.

Personality:

Although she does have a sharp sense of duty and is incredibly clever, she is also very self absorbed and snobby. She believes that because she is royal, she is better than everyone else. She is also quite snobby, insisting that she only get the best in things. However, she would throw all of that away for the safe return of her family and friends.

Alter Ego: Mysticon Dragon Mage

Mysticon of: Dragons

Weapon: Staff of Dragonfire

Costume description: Arkanya wears a deep green A-Line dress. Long sleeves connect to fingerless gloves. She wears white tights and slip on shoes. Her Mysticon pin appears on her hair. She now wears a green mask, grows two demon horns, small wings, and a tail.

Powers: Able to shoot fire and communicate through her staff. She has incredible agility and telekinesis powers. Her ultimate is shooting a green dragon off her wrist, and in a very rare case, ultimately powered up, is able to transform into a dragon.

Zarya Moonwolf

Age:16

Appearance:

Skinny and boney from being on the streets for almost her entire life, Zarya is quite lean and underweight. She has a female figure with goldish eyes like a wolf, in an almond shape. She has short dark chocolate brown hair that is folded over one side. Her skin is porcelain. She wears a long black tank top and blue jeans. She also wears a choker necklace with a crescent moon. Her Mysticon emblem is underneath her shirt on her belt.

Personality:

As short tempered and untrusting as she may be, she is extremely smart and tough. She’s extremely street smart and tomboyish, as well as protective of those she likes. This is seen with Pyper, who she considers a little sister. Although considered one of the smarter team members, she’s an act first, asking questions later type of gal. She definitely holds grudges, and is not trusting of anyone. The only person she remotely trusts is Pyper. She is also a quick thinker on her feet and sarcastic.

Alter Ego: Mysticon Ranger

Mysticon of: Wolves

Weapon: Bow of Lightning

Costume description: She wears a short dress in a bright denim blue, with an overcoat jacket without sleeves in another deep blue. She also wears a thin cape that wraps around her body at the scarf. A hood covers her head, but blue wolf ears stick out. Her hair becomes a dark blue color. She also has a blue tail and a blue mask. Photo of what the costume resembles:

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/475129829438256451/ or https://www.pinterest.com/pin/271623421260862992/

Powers:

Able to hit people with her lightning arrows and shoot nets out of them. She communicates through her bow on rare occasions. She has incredible agility and an interesting ability to shapeshift. It is very hard for her to do however, so she refrains from using that power too often. Her ultimate is a Wolf Bracer, and very rarely when superpowered, she may transform into a spirit wolf.

Pyper Willowbrooke

Age:116

Appearance:

A short and honey skinned elf with long thin ears. She has long garney red hair that is pull out of face by a half ponytail. Her long hair still remains out though, like Amity’s hair but longer. Her eyes are a bright parakeet green. She wears a white tank top cut above her stomach and red jean overalls with no legs. Her Mysticon emblem pin is on her hair, attached to her hairband keeping her ponytail in place.

Personality:

Pyper is extremely happy-go-lucky and naive. She is quite energetic, a morning person, cheerful, and hyperactive. She often can’t read a room, and is not good at keeping secrets or responsibilities. She is also a bit crazy, always talking to herself. She isn’t the brightest either, but makes up for it in dedication.

Alter Ego: Mysticon Striker

Mysticons of: The Phoenix

Weapon: Hoops of Fire

Costume description: A tea length dress in a gradient fire color as well as ribbons wrapped around her. She wears red ballet slippers and ribbons wrap her legs. Small golden wings appear on her back, and they can grow so Pyper can fly. Her mask is a reddish color.

Powers:

Able to throw fire hoops that can make things catch on fire and bring them together to make one big one. Her hoop has communication ability. She has agility and the ability to command fire and fly. Fire is really her main power, because she can throw it at will. Flying is more of a passive power because of her wings.

Emerald Goldenbraid

Age:15

Appearance:

Emerald is a beautiful dwarf who is a little taller than Pyper. She is a little on the chubby side, and does have a love for good food. She has long golden hair that is tied into a downwards ponytail and an undercut. Her eyes are mauve purple and she has small freckles dot her face. She is a light tan color. Em wears a green wooly sweater over a black tank top that shows one shoulder. She also wears ebony black jeans and steel toed boots. Her Mysticon emblem is attached to a black beanie.

Personality:

Em is very curious and clever, being book smart but not so good at making social decisions. She has a huge heart and a very big love of animals. She has a good sense of responsibility, and is quite gullible.She is also almost as naive as Pyper.She’s also a romantic, loving a good romance story. She’s very cheesy.

Alter Ego: Mysticon Knight

Mysticon of:Unicorns

Weapon: Sword and Shield

Costume Design:

Something like this but she has a unicorn horn, tail, and it’s in different shades of pink and purple:

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/199776933458247102/

Powers:

Able to summon a sword and shield.Her special power is the ability to summon shields and barriers. She has exceptional agility and a unicorn bracer ultimate.

[anarchistettin]

the word anarchism, anarchy in the world, personal reality

yes: I am judgey af  yes: I am judging 

my judgment does not carry even 1% of the weight and danger that the average american's simple _distaste_ wields - all the vote-shaming on tumblr this year has really opened my eyes to the nature of liberalism in the USA, and the casual hatred that liberals feel for anyone who falls outside their privileged bubbles. liberals that call themselves “left” while yammering on about “strategic ballots” nshit has been pretty hard to take; some of the big popular blogs are repeated and underlined by so many people, so many voices - 

I don’t feel safe anymore, anywhere in the world or on the internet

(damn Yeats, btw: damn that asshole) 

~ the onus of another's education is not on me ~ but I'll usually accept the burden from people who are legitimately seeking understanding! I don’t need you to agree with me; I just need you not to endanger me & others. being mildly autistic and WILDLY adhd doesn't give me the best set of tools for assessing the difference between poisonous irony and genuine interest in nature's preferred organic forms of human society so

if you dislike the word "anarchy" because you associate it with violence & mayhem:

• I judge you harshly • I dismiss your opinions about social justice and responsibility • I dismiss your capability to understand language at this point, if you’re over 12 years old • I consider you a hazard; I’ll assume that your words are mostly lies, and I won’t want to share things with you

if you understand what anarchism is & feel more strongly about socialism or marxist communism, we can still be buds, depending on your reasoning, but the reasoning has to be valid. If I see/hear you repeating doctrines that castigate anarchism or denigrate anarchists as a collective, I won’t engage, if I can stop myself, and I will not forgive you until you come to me in a personal way and ask for that forgiveness, after making a believable & sincere apology.

if you are a liberal, or a frickin repub, still? we can't be friends & I don’t trust you: you're a danger, not just to me, but to life, all of life. If you’ve called me a “bot”, you would have to ask me for forgiveness for there to be a chance for connection. You would have to understand the harm you caused by repeating that shit. There are worse things on this site that impacted me personally, but they’re so messed up I can’t type about them without getting seriously upset.

I can probably forgive you for voting for the dem this year? (people do horrible things when they are afraid) but you would have to ask for that.

[musette22]

Hi Minnie! First of all, thank you for being so sweet, reasonable and respectful, I can't even describe how much joy your blog gives me! You are a true pro in emotional support for Evanstan fandom, so I guess I kinda need some reassurance. [1]

The thing is, as you probably know, some Seb stans on Twitter take the whole Chris insta situation and turn it into smth embarassing, like making fun of Seb and Mackie ignoring Chris and calling the idea of the challenge stupid (even though Chris did donate, not just "asked fans for money", as they say). It's like they feel the need to attack the first before smb calls they fav out. [2]

I know there ARE good people in Seb fandom, it's just that the aggressive ones are so loud and spread their bs so fast, I end up seeing it on my TL. No matter how stupid it sounds, it keeps making me sad to see so much hate towards Chris and his fans not from some random locals but from Seb stans. It's like two halves of my heart are torn apart. Not even ship-wise, it just seems so hard to love them both and be present on twitter these days. [3]

And, since I'm whiney af today, one more twitter thing: the CW promo era was some kind of honeymoon for us, sure, but I've recently seen some opinions on how Chris was all lovey-dovey and Seb was stiff and bored and uncomfortable, how their interviews were unnatural and boring. I mean, in my part of fandom (non-English speaking country) there has always been a popular perception of boys' dynamic as these "over-excited puppy playing around a confused cat" vids, if you know what I mean. [4]

But it kinda seemed ok for me, and the way they acted a little awkward around each other etc. Well, you can tell I'm easily affected cause now it does feel more negative to me. Stuuupid, I know. Maybe it's my "let's feel sorry for Chris and his fans" phase, idk. Sorry for bringing it here, you just seem to reassure people so well. [5 and last, it was long lol]

Hello my lovely!! This was indeed long hahaha but that’s totally fine, I myself am also someone who also has trouble keeping things short to I feel you 😘 

This is a very long reply so I’m putting it under the cut so I don’t clog up people’s dashes!

Okay so first of all, let me say I was never a fan of Twitter, but everything I’ve heard lately has just lowered my opinion of it even further. I know there’s a lot of amazing stuff and brilliant folks on there as well, but it also seems to be where all the bitchy, hateful, entitled and inappropriate people congregate. So personally, I’m very happy with my little community on Tumblr when it comes to fandom, and for news and social media I prefer actual news outlets and instagram. The sad truth is that there are a lot of harmful and hateful opinions in the world, and as someone who struggles with anxiety, I try to find ways to avoid a lot of it. Especially the stuff I can’t do anything about (you can try to reason with most haters until you’re blue in the face, and 90% of the time it’s not going to make an ounce of difference). It’s much easier to curate your own experiences on platforms like Tumblr and even Instagram than it is on Twitter, or so I’ve gathered. So I’m afraid I don’t have a lot of helpful advice for you there apart from ‘maybe try and stay away from Twitter if you can’ which you probably don’t really want either...

As for the whole Seb vs Chris issue: it’s clearly completely ridiculous. There is no ground whatsoever to believe they’re at odds. At worst, they’re now just casual work friends, but there is no reason to believe there’s any bad blood. It’s interesting to consider that initially, the argument seemed to be they had fallen out and both disliked each other (no idea where that came from but sure), then it was that Chris didn’t like Sebastian (because he allegedly shaded him when he joked that Scarjo was the only one of his friends who came to see Lobby Hero), and then Chris got Instagram and tagged and followed Seb, but because Seb hasn’t responded to the challenge yet, he now apparently hates Chris. For what reason, god only knows, because only last year at MCM London (where I was present myself) Sebastian gushed about Chris and his experiences with him while filming the Cap movies, and lets not forget it was him who initiated the hug at the Endgame premiere. Long story short: they don’t dislike each other. They’re completely fine, people just like to make up drama for whatever reason.   

As for the Sebastian stans who hate Chris and vice vera: to be honest, I wasn’t even really aware it was an issue until recently, because I was under the naive impression that it was kind of impossible to love one but hate the other. Both of them are such amiable, sweet, thoughtful, funny, talented guys, and everyone who actually knows them adores them, so why on earth anyone could hate either of them is beyond me. But even if you do, I genuinely don’t understand this need to pit them against each other? Why? I think a lot of it is down to people just liking drama, or being actual 12 year-olds who still see the world in a kind of high school dynamic-way. I’m not saying Chris and Sebastian have never done anything wrong, but in my opinion, none of it warrants outright hate or being cancelled over. It’s such an immature and unreasonable take. I’m just sorry for the people who can’t love both of them, because man, are they missing out! I understand that it’s painful for you to see all those opinions when you love both of them so much, but that’s why I try to just avoid them. I know they exist, but not seeing them makes dealing with it a whole lot easier, I promise! ❤️

With regard to the challenge itself: if the celebrities who are taking part in it are not donating themselves, then yeah, that would be problematic. However, we know that Chris donates to a ton of different charities, so there’s no doubt in my mind that he’s donated to this cause as well. Asking people to buy tickets to try and win this “prize” is not in itself an issue, if you ask me. People can think for themselves, can’t they? If they think it’s worth it, they think it’s worth it. They’re not being forced to part with their money, and moreover said money is being used to help people in need. Of course fake and problematic charities exist, but there are still good ones out there as well, so let’s assume for the moment this one is actually doing all of this from a genuine desire to help people and it’s not some money grabbing scheme.

Furthermore, as I’ve said so many times before, I really don’t believe Sebastian and Mackie are “ignoring” Chris. If they’re choosing not to do the challenge (they still might do it at some point) then I’m sure they have a good reason for that and it isn’t that they’re holding a grudge and are thinking “screw this charity and that Chris Evans, I’m going to ghost him to get my revenge!” I mean, do these people even realize how ridiculous that sounds 🙄 I also believe they would have let Chris know about their decision privately. They do have each other’s phone numbers, you know... 

And lastly, about the CW press tour... I don’t know what footage these people have been watching to come to such conclusions, or what’s wrong with their eyes and ears, but that makes NO sense to me. I’ll tell you what; it was mostly the footage from the CW press tour that got me convinced there was something going in between the two of them! Both Chris and Sebastian acted in a way that screamed “smitten kittens” to me, and if there was ever any “stiffness” from Sebastian’s side, then that was no doubt just his slightly more reserved personality compared to Chris and Mackie’s. Chris and Sebastian’s videos together give me LIFE, so for anyone to call them boring is actually kind of insulting lol. To me, almost every interaction Chris and Seb had during that press tour showed that they were either low-key (in a friendship way) or high-key (in a romantic way) crushing on each other, and they clearly admire each other very much. Any awkwardness I’ve ever seen between them for me seemed to stem from that crush (is anyone not at least a little awkward around their crush sometimes?) and not from any dislike from either side. That’s actually such a ridiculous idea to me that it doesn’t even make me worried, it just makes me laugh. Some people really don’t have eyes, it seems. 

Anyway, that was a reeeeeeaaaaaallllyyyyy long reply lmao, I’m sorry! I hope this helps a little though, because I do know how shitty it is to feel like you do about things that are supposed to make you happy!! Tuning out the haters and focusing on people who feel the same way you do in my experience is the best way to get to feeling good again 🥰 Big hug, and hopefully you’ll feel better soon!