#it is once again past 2am my dudes

[humming-fly]

Who better to trust with a secret than a known liar?

anyways my apologies to b99 and happy countdown to the magolor bullying simulator release later this month! 

[cranberryjuice-posts]

I know I said we were friends

Synopsis- Abby’s sick and tired of hearing about your girlfriend

Pairings - College! Abby Anderson X bsf! Fem! reader

An: not proofread i dead Ass wrote it and posted it 😭

TW- nsfw, cheating (don’t cheat on your partners guys), toxic relationships.

Never once did this thought cross Abby’s mind. Yeah she’s aware that you and your girlfriend had problems and yeah she’s aware that when your pissed you get turned on but shit she never expected you to show up at her door at 2am wearing a skimpy ass night gown that barley held your tits in and your ass being exposed all while being mad.

“Woah—“

“Don’t even start” You pushed past the muscular girl and sat down onto her bed. Suprised Abby just shut the door and walked over leaning onto the wall looking at her bed where you sat. Abby was so fucking grateful her roommate actually got bitches and was out tonight.

“So what happened Jody said something” she teased. “Oh oh! What was it was it something about your ass” she gave a sarcastic smile but you however were unamused and threw one of Abby’s pillows at her.

“No actually” you scoffed as Abby caught the pillow. “I tried bringing up a new position to her but she said ‘no that’s fucking weird and you look better in missionary’ well what if I don’t want to do missionary huh?!” You complained frustrated and grabbed the water-bottle off of Abby’s nightstand not caring how old it was.

Abby raised her eyebrows as you chugged the water not daring to tell you it was a week old. She sighed and walked over leaning on the side of the bed now closer to you. “Well go on”

“What that was it”

“Show me the position dumbass”

You rolled your eyes but opened your phone scrolling for a moment before showing Abby a picture one of a girl doing a reverse cowgirl on another girls strap and the other one Abby’s seen and done before where a girl sat on a desk with another woman on her knees eating her out.

You threw your phone down on the bed and rubbed your eyes. “Instead of fucking saying ‘sorry baby we can’t do the desk one because of my papers’ she fucking went off and told me how I would ruin the finish on her desk as if my fucking vagina produces acid!” Your temper and Abby’s amusement rising. “Then— then get this she want to fucking complain that the reverse cowgirl is stupid look I get if people aren’t open to new shit in the bedroom but don’t be a bitch about it”

With that you laid back on Abby’s small mattress and sighed. You decided to take note of the girls apperance the boyish boxers and her thin sports bra, you always admired Abby’s muscles and secretly you fantasized about what sex with her would be like.

Abby nodded taking in all the information and shrugged her shoulders. “Sounds like she’s Just scared you’re gonna be disappointed” you sat up and tilted your head.

“Are You scared about making women disappointed” that earned you a laugh from Abby- you fucking hated her cockiness.

“As if y/n those photos you showed me I’ve done multiple times, shit if you showed me random sex positions I could tell you how I’ve done them” Abby shook her head and crossed her arms.

“Aren’t you getting a medical degree and are a student athlete how do you have time to fuck around all the time”

“Good time management, I make agreements on Sunday’s with certain girls we hook up and there’s that, if I want it again I’ll ask the same girl or you know find someone else— tinder exist dude” you hit her shoulder making her laugh. Secretly you envied those girls who’s gotten to taste Abby and witness her in all her glory.

“Whatever” you look away embarrassed.

There was a pause in the conversation before Abby spoke. “Just ask me already”

“Ask you what!” You Look back Defensive and crossed your arms. Abby just remained with a calm face.

“You always do that shit with a sour face when you wanna ask something but your to anxious or whatever so just ask”

You scowled but sighed, Abby couldn’t hate you just for asking. “I want to do those positions with you”

Silence.

You turned red and kept your head down. “Just fucking forget it I’ll go” you tried to stand up but there was a strong hand on you thigh. That’s when you realized Abby was standing between your thighs, she grabbed your chin and tilted your head.

“You want to cheat on your girlfriend of a year with me?” She asked, every ounce of joking gone from her voice.

You slowly nodded. “With your words baby” Abby kept a strong hold on you.

“Yeah..” You whispered finding the situation incredibly attractive. Abby leaned close to you so your lips grazed against each other.

“Fuck… I’ve been waiting for this” she kissed you passionately and gently pushed you all the way back on the bed.

The kiss was rough and sensual but also enjoyable, you felt yourself growing wetter by the moment with Abby’s calloused hand rubbing your inner thigh. You moaned and Abby chuckled. She started to kiss down your jaw and neck before sucking.

You knew she would leave hickeys but in the moment you didn’t care.. Abby trailed down your body and pulled away from you. “Get up” she panted. “Take this off” she flicked the short skirt of your lingerie nightgown up.

You did as you were asked and switched positions with her. You now stood infront if Abby and stripped out of your nightgown showing your thin Lacey white thong and the decorative rings on your nipples.

“Fuck” Abby scoffed and signaled for you to walk forward. She started to trace her hands down your body before rubbing your nipple making you moan.

She started to suck on your tit while massaging the other lightly. You grabbed her blonde hair and tried to hide your moans, whimpering with a pleasureful face.

Abby let go of your tit and squeezed your hip. “On the desk” she whispered on your collarbone.

“Abby your homework is on there let me just cl—“

“It’ll be fine I’ll just tell my professor the work got fucked up after my bag fell in a puddle” she kissed you once again and started to makeout with you once more.

You pulled away and walked over before carefully setting the papers aside. You felt Abby press herself against your ass while rubbing your back. “Look at You, being all kind and considerate who knew you could be that nice”

“Have you ever heard of shut up” you looked back and smiled before kissing Abby again.

Once the desk was cleared off you hopped up and sat on the wooden table. Abby spreaded your legs and got down onto her knees, she pulled you forward so you were on the edge.. she started to kiss up the side of your thighs before kissing your barely covered crotch.

She pulled the thong to the side keeping it on you but just out of the way. You quickly closed your legs embarrassed. “Shit sorry, I didnt shave last week” Abby just rolled her eyes and forced your legs apart again.

“On no god forbid a woman has some pubes, it’s not that bad babe your just being dramatic” Abby commented and parted your lips with her fingers before placing a kiss on your clit making you moan.

Your eyes rolled back while Abby started to suck on your clit. You grabbed her hair and started to slightly grind onto her face.

Abby moaned in approval all while pushing her fingers into you. Abby at first was slow but started to increase her speed

Your legs spread further all Shame gone. You moaned loudly holding your head back all while Abby continued to lap up your juices.

You squirted. Abby pulled away panting with your juices covering her chin. “Sorry I-“

“That was so hot” Abby smiled and kissed your clit again before moving up to kiss you grasping your face and ruining your hair. You could taste yourself but you didn’t care.

Soon Abby moved you to the bed and kissed you softly. “I need to change, you want water a snack?” She asked concerned, you never found this with Jody.

You just shook your head and Abby nodded. She bent down and grabbed a box from under her bed. She looked through it before shaking her head and setting it aside.. Abby pulled out another more decorated box before opening it and pulling out a dark thick plastic dick.

Abby saw your shocked face and laughed. “It’s 10 biggest I have but it’s the only one I haven’t used on anyone” you looked from the toy to Abby who was undressing.

“What do You mean?” You asked confused.

Abby smiled. “Your special I don’t want to use something that’s been in multiple other girls on you.. don’t worry I already cleaned it” she started to tighten the harness over her boxers, your eyes went to her chest. It was much flatter than yours but you didn’t care.

Abby turned and watched as you moved to her grabbing her by the harnest. You started to lightly kiss her breast making her blush.

Abby grunted softly while holding your hair and letting you continue to suck on her boobs. You moved between both tits taking your time with each before Abby pulled you away.

“No offense that felt so fucking good but I’d much rather see you ride” she chuckled while holding your chin. You rolled your eyes but smiled.

-

Abby was oh her back and you sat on her torso feeling the dick against your back.

Abby caressed your body studying it and enjoying your beauty. One hand caressing you while the other circled your clit.

You started to grind onto her and Abby chuckled before hitting your ass. “Allright get on with it” she joked.

You turned around and let Abby get a good view of your ass. Before you put the strap inside you you looked back with a devious smile. “Let me record”

Abby raised an eyebrow “you sure? I mean I’m cool with whatever.”

You nodded and got off grabbing Abby’s phone and setting it up so you could see both of you in frame.

You returned to Abby’s side and slowly lowered yourself onto the strap. You moaned and Abby grunted feeling the harnest rubbing on her clit. After a few minutes you started to bounce on her strap while Abby rubbed your ass and hips.

“Fucckk baby just like that” she moaned and slapped your ass making you moan. “Your girlfriend really fucked up huh” she whispered.

You started to ride faster with your moans growing louder. You covered your mouth since the walls were thin.

Abby soon gripped your hips and started to control your movements before eventually loosing control and thrusting up into you.

“Fuck baby just like that take my fucking cock” she groaned and continued to harshly thrust all while you became a mumbling mess..

The dark toy eventually had a ring of white around it and Abby helped ease you to stop. Your legs were shaking, abby kissed your back while whispering sweet nothings to you.

——

After abby helped wipe you clean and gave you a pair of her boxers she moved into her bed and pulled you towards her.

Abby opened her phone and looked at the video you had just made. You blushed and pushed the phone down “abs that’s embarrassed” you groaned but Abby chuckled.

“It’s actually not but whatever” she kissed your forehead. Your phone buzzed, you grabbed it and choked lightly at seeing the time being 4:12Am. Abby being nosy looked with you as you opened your messages.

💗💗Jody💗💗

Baby im sorry please

Come back to the

Room

————

You rolled your eyes and started to type but Abby stopped you. She turned to face you better and looked you straight in the eyes.

“Tell her you cheated”

“Abs if I do that she’s gonna be mad”

“So you weren’t ever gonna tell her?”

“No I was just not right now” you scoffed and gave Abby a slightly irritated look. Abby closed her head and sighed.

“Break up with Jody.. tell her you cheated and get with me instead” Abby asked.

“What..” You gave her a confused Look.

“I’m serious y/n I’ve liked you for a while and I know I can treat you so much better than Jody” she grabbed your face and rubbed your cheek. You remained quiet for a moment before nodding. Abby grinned and kissed you before laying back and watching as you sent the Breakup text.

This is my first time writing smut so If it suck ass uh idk 🤕🤕🤕 idk why I wrote this I was just bored lmao 😭

[btsqualityy]

Please write about the lowest point of Len & Spencer’s relationship after the accident 😔

"Len?" Spencer whispered into the darkness of their bedroom. She had been laying awake for the past 20 minutes, a fire bubbling in her gut that only her husband could put out. When he didn't answer her though, her stomach began to sink.

"Lennox?" She called again, turning over and gently leaning her body against his. "You awake?"

"Have been since you started tossing and turning," he replied deeply.

"Sorry."

"It's ok," he replied as he turned over, laying on his back so that he could look up at her. "You alright?"

"I miss you," Spencer murmured, setting her hand on his chest and looking down at him. "It's been three months."

"I know."

"So, why don't we," she trailed off, her hand trailing downwards and settling on the band of the pajama pants that he had on but Lennox reached down, grabbing her wrist.

"Not tonight baby."

"Why?"

"It's 2am," Lennox replied.

"That's never stopped you before," Spencer muttered.

"Just....not tonight," he sighed, pushing her hand away from him before he turned over back onto his side, with his back facing her.

"Oh, ok," she mumbled, turning over as well and cuddling into her pillow as tears began to silently slip down her face.

...............................................

"I don't know how much longer I can hold her off," Lennox grunted as he worked on tying the shoe that sat on top of the table. As a part of his physical therapy from the accident, Lennox had been going to therapy once a week in order to regain his prior motor skills.

"I don't even understand why you're trying to hold her off anyways," Mason sighed. "You've been cleared to have sex again for the last month. Are you scared of not being able to perform?"

"Don't ever insult my dick game like that again," Lennox spat, making Mason hold his hands up in mock surrender.

"I'm just saying, I don't get it."

"I just...every time that I look at Spencer, all I feel is guilt," Lennox admitted. "And every time that she tries to get me to have sex with her, all I can think about is our baby that I killed."

"Dude, you have to stop thinking like that," Mason gently chided him. "You guys got into a car accident. That's what it was: an accident."

"Tell that to my mind and my heart," Lennox huffed, groaning loudly when he wasn't able to push the shoelace through the hoop. "I just...I'm scared that when she really takes the time to think about all that's happened, she'll leave me and take my kids with her."

"It's been three months though," Mason reminded him. "Let's say she did want to leave, she probably would've done it already. That's not something that you have to worry about though, because she loves you beyond reason. You're everything to her, the same way that she's everything to you."

"So what do I do then?" Lennox wondered.

"Talk to her," Mason said. "And honestly, at that."

..................................................................

"He hates me," Spencer sighed.

"He does not hate you," Ava replied, looking down at her lyric sheet as the two of them sat together in her studio. "He has a lot going on."

"And I don't?" Spencer tsked. "I'm the one still working, taking care of the kids, and taking care of the house since he's still recovering."

"Yeah but everyone knows that he thinks he caused the accident so in his mind, he probably thinks your better off without him," Ava explained as she looked up at her best friend. "And you have to tell him that that's not true."

"I tried."

"Verbally?"

"Well, no," Spencer muttered. "But I've tried to initiate sex and he keeps turning me down."

"Oh shit," Ava gasped in surprise.

"Exactly, and sex is how we've always communicated the best," Spencer sighed.

"I think you two need to sit down together and talk all of this out," Ava advised. "After everything that's happened, it would be good to lay everything out and see where you are, which is clearly two different planes."

"And what if I don't hear what I want to hear?" Spencer wondered. "What if he says that he doesn't want this anymore?"

"Then at least you know," Ava smiled sadly. "And you move on."

.............................................................

"Spence?" Lennox called out as he walked into their shared bedroom and Spencer looked up from her spot at her vanity, giving her husband a soft smile.

"Hi," she said and Lennox paced over to her, setting his hands on her shoulders as he looked at her through the mirror.

"The kids go down ok?"

"Yeah, sound asleep," she nodded.

"Good, because I was wondering if we could talk?"

"Sure," she agreed easily and Lennox walked away then to sit on the bed. Spencer got up as well and she went to sit next to him but Lennox grabbed her wrist, pulling her over until she was perched in his lap.

"First, I want to say that I'm sorry for the other night and every other night that I've turned you down," Lennox began. "You were just trying to be closer to me and I kept that from you."

"Why Len?" Spencer questioned softly.

"Because I don't understand why you're still here," he confessed. "I almost killed you and I actually did kill our child. How can you even stand to look at me?"

"Because I love you," she replied without hesitation. "The accident could've happened at any time and I don't blame you for it. I never have. That's why you haven't wanted to have sex?"

"I just feel so guilty still."

"Oh baby," she cooed, reaching up and cupping his face in her hands. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being more aware that you were feeling like this and thinking that you just didn't want me."

"What?" He gasped. "Spence, I'll always want you."

"No, I know. I just thought the worst when you kept turning me down."

"Our communication has really sucked lately, huh?" He chuckled, making her nod her head. "I'm sorry."

"Me too," she whispered, leaning down and kissing him softly. The kiss quickly became heated, Lennox's tongue pushing it's way into Spencer's as his hands began to roam her body.

"Can I love you, baby?" Lennox whispered against her lips, reaching up and pulling at the silk robe that she had on, exposing the white bra and panty set that she was wearing underneath.

"Please," Spencer replied with a smile. "Take me." And that's all Lennox needed to hear before he fell backwards onto the bed with her, a long night ahead of the both of them.

[sorcererinthestars]

You’ve Got a Fast Car...

I’m back, bitches~~ But seriously, felt great to write again for the @rtwritingcommunity​‘s secret sunshine event! I will tag my recipient if/when I get their a-ok!

Summary: (FAHC) Michael doesn't expect a man to throw himself in front of his car and beg him to stop. This is Los Santos. Picking up hitchhikers is generally frowned upon. But this man has a pretty face and hell - he's got a fast car. What's he got to lose?

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32969470

-

Michael knew something was seriously wrong when a man throws himself out in front of his car.

Now, his car was nothing nice, but he still doesn't want to spend the next few hours getting some fucking asshole's blood off of his front bumper. So naturally he slams on the brakes as the man - a skinny, dirty thing with wild hair - does a legitimate fucking slide across the hood of his shit Honda Civic and nearly collapses on the other side. "Oi!"

"Get out of the damn road, idiot!" Michael yells out the window in a reply, flicking him off to boot. It was late, almost 2am at this point, and he really had anything better to do than scream at some (probably high) dickbag who decided to do calisthenics in the goddamn street. But the man doesn't run away ashamed, as Michael had expected. Instead, he frantically pokes at his phone - still in the middle of the street - and Michael sits there, a bit flabbergasted.

He doesn't move.

He still doesn't move when Michael lays his entire weight on the horn, sending a blast of sound into the Los Santos night. It's not as loud or annoying as he may have wanted - LS is always loud as fuck on a Saturday evening - but it does have the intended effect of nearly making the idiot in front of his car in the middle of the street jump half out of his skin.

"SHHH!" the man gasps, comically putting his finger over his lip like he was in a cartoon and making an over-exaggerated shushing motion. Michael has to blink. He's shushing him? While standing in front of his car? Before he can say anything or shake off the disbelief that this shit had to happen to him tonight - he had to get home and clean off before his next shift at the pizza place he had reluctantly taken a job at - the man (still crazy-eyed and wild-haired) runs up to his window. At this moment, Michael really wishes he had invested in a knife, or a Tazer, or something. People had warned him about LS, but he didn't listen. He should probably learn to do that, someday.

"Listen, man," the guy says (see?) and leans forward, a massive grin on his face. He has some pretty high cheekbones. Michael blinks. "Dude, can you please just move or I'm gonna run you the fuck down."

"No, no, no, listen," the man says again, waving his hands about. "Do me a favor, will ya? If you drive me to this address -" he holds his phone up and shows an address on the outskirts of the city - "I'll give you $1,000. Right here, right now, no questions." Michael blinks and then snorts. Yeah fucking right. "I'm not an Uber."

The man shifts on both his feet, looking agitated, and glances over his shoulder. There sounds like there's some sort of commotion coming down the street and he really has to move. So Michael leans on the horn again, blasting another honk into the LS skyline.

This has the unintended effect of making the man lean further over the hood of his car, as if he could hide. Remember. This was in the middle of the goddamn street.

"Dude!"

"I'm not kidding!" the wild-eyed man says frantically. "$1500. Deposited directly into your account. I'm serious, kill me and my crew if I lie."

That was no turn of phrase Michael had ever heard, but the money does make him pause. He's... short on funds right now. Well, he's always short on funds, but this time moreso than usual. $1,500 extra would be a huge boost to the amount he currently has in the bank. He'd pay rent. He wouldn't have to borrow any more from anyone else and avoid that loan shark fucker he found online.

Before he could really think about what he was saying, he finds himself tapping the passenger seat. "Fine. Get in. I swear to god, I better see that money."

And if he dies... well. Then he still wouldn't have to worry about rent, so win-win in his mind.

With a triumphant holler, the man leaps into the car and yanks up a GPS on his phone, pointing them to drive down the street. "Thanks man! I'm Gavin." -

They're not going more than five minutes when sirens start blaring behind them. The man tenses and looks backwards out the window with a frown. "Oh shit."

Michael immediately - immediately - realizes just how much he fucked up. "What do you mean, oh shit?"

"I - uh..." The unhinged man - Gavin - stutters. "Did... Did I mention that uh... the LSPD may want to arrest me?"

"May want to what?!" Michael's voice climbs so many octaves in that last word that it makes Gavin slump down in his seat, suitably chagrined. "I ... seriously, man, I - I needed a car, a way out, I promise I'll give you the money, just please for the love of god, drive the damn car."

"Pull Over," the cop car unhelpfully calls from behind them, making Michael's bowels turn to water. Gavin's even more frantically slamming keys on his phone as they approach a major intersection. Michael keeps looking behind him, unable to slow down as the cops continue to chase them. "Gavin, seriously..."

"You're with me now, man," he replies a bit frantically. "You're in it. So either we avoid them, or you're going to jail too. Sorry."

The words fall like bricks on Michael's shoulders as he realizes that what Gavin just said was true. No cop in their right mind would believe that he - a man with a few blotches on his permanent record already - would have just accepted to pick up a hitchhiker and drive him across town at 2am for $1,500 without assuming he was a criminal. No. Any sane cop would assume he was in on it.

Because the alternative was that he was a fucking lunatic, but here we are.

Gritting his teeth, a conscious shift happens somewhere in his gut. He's a survivor. He'd get the fuck out of this, one way or the other. So, without Gavin's input and in a split second decision, he takes a sharp left and rips around the corner, sending Gavin flying against the door with a shout of surprise. "HEY!"

"Gotta avoid the cops, don't we?" Michael says with a maniacal burst of laughter, the insanity that can only be best described as hysteria. "You're the navigator, idiot, get us to where we need to be!"

The nervousness - which had appeared on Gavin's face after Michael had blown up at him - evaporated as Gavin bursts into a big smile. "Hell yeah," he hums. "Let's do this."

-

After fifteen minutes, Michael had lost all his nerves. Instead, he felt like an overinflated balloon, filled with a giddy sort of lunacy that he had never felt before as they flew down abandoned Los Santos streets. He shrieked with laughter as they slipped down the runway illuminated by neon lights and flashing red and blues, which whipped around them like a rave of their own design.

The freedom was intoxicating. Michael had taken drugs before back in New Jersey, who hadn't(?), but this was a whole different sort of high. And as soon as Gavin realized that Michael was in it with him, he had turned into an erratic demon of death, urging Michael onward with the same fire that was reflected in Michael's soul.

They flew down the streets like hedonists, shrieking with laughter and happiness as Gavin shoves his head out the sunroof to flick off the cops and shout insults.

When the first gunshot cracks through the night, Michael is sobered only for a moment. In for a penny, in for a pound. He's already here, dodging the cops, so this shit may as well happen. It's like he's in a godforsaken video game but he's not. This is real life, this is his life, and maybe he's ruining it. Maybe. But what had he not ruined in his life already? For a few moments, he could feel like he was disconnected from reality, driving so fast he could swear he could fly, a - undeniably pretty - man urging him to new, foolish lengths from the seat next to them.

And so they flew. As they approached intersections and traffic lights, Michael could see - more like sense - Gavin's own particular talents. He admits he has no abilities behind the wheel, hence begging Michael to help him, but he's able to make every traffic light change from here to the safehouse, giggling like a school kid all the while, knowing he was being naughty but that just sends them into a more frenzied set of hysterics.

It tastes like the best drug, the most collective high, the freedom that comes from knowing you're one step away from death or worse but that dangle is intoxicating. Maybe ten minutes ago he hated what was happening, but all that was gone now.

It's just the car, him, and Gavin's frantic - musical - laugh.

-

Eventually - with Gavin's GPS and eventually warm hand over his - they lose the cops. Michael has no sense of time, no concept of how long they were on the roads causing havoc, fleeing and laughing and shrieking like demons.

All he knows is that he's out in the North now and the beginning shards of sun were peeking over the horizon. He's able to slow to a manageable speed and catch his breath.

Gavin's phone rings and the man answers it. Michael can't hear what he's saying past the ringing in his ears, the result of wind whipping past his face and hours of excitement. His face is red when he meets Gavin's eyes. He closes the phone and the excitement shines bright in his eyes.

For a moment, Michael's breath is taken away. Then Gavin just points. "Top of Chilliad. Get me there." His voice is hoarse from yelling, deeper than it was, and it stirs something that Michael can't explain.

"Yes, sir," he hums teasingly. In for a penny, in for a pound, like he had said before. They start the climb up the dirt road. Once or twice, Michael doesn't think his car can make it, but the tenacious Civic crawls forward as if it knows what it had done too and felt on top of the world.

They make it to the top as the sun finally breaks over the horizon completely, blanketing the world in orange and red. When Michael finally - finally- throws the car in park and looks over at him, Gavin's grinning the biggest grin Michael has ever seen.

Before he can do anything, fuelled by adrenaline and fire and the same pure joy on Gavin's face, Michael leans over and kisses him deeply, half dragging him over the stick shift.

They kiss feverishly for a few moments, the adrenaline fading, before breaking apart and chuckling sheepishly. "I - sorry, I ..."

Gavin just winks. It's knowing. "No problem, luv," he purrs. "Does it to you, doesn't it? The chase? Makes the fire in your blood run hot." He leans forward conspiratorially. "Men weren't made to walk on their knees," he hums. "Think about it." He digs in his pocket and drops a card on the passenger seat before climbing out of the door, even as Michael tries to grab his arm and yank him back. "Gav--"

"Later, beautiful," Gavin grins, seemingly more suave and sophisticated than the man he was when he first climbed into the car. Like he was grifting and Michael was his poor, unsuspecting mark. "I'll call you. You're a great driver. Check your account." He salutes and it's then when Michael can hear the thud-thud of roters. A helicopter?

Before he can say anything, climbing frantically out of the car to watch, Gavin grabs a rope ladder hanging off the bottom of a fucking cargobob and is lifted into the air, disappearing quickly out of sight like something out of a fairy tale.

And Michael is left in the remains of the sun-drenched LS morning, with a car almost empty of gas and mysteriously $1,500 richer.

Whatever had happened to him that night in Los Santos, he knows his life will never, ever be the same.

[a-pretty-nerd]

Self Indulgent Shigaraki Nonsense Part...6??

Tomura Shigaraki x Pregananant reader series

A/N: Dude I'm not even close to being done, I really love writing this series. It's a whole lot of fun to see Shigaraki have a normal domestic life with the reader. Like damn. I'm thinking of writing a one-shot where the reader doesn't keep the pregnancy and its reader and Shigaraki going through the motions of that in their relationship because I'd like some more diverse fanfic out there. Let me know what you think!

Warnings: Descriptions of childbirth. If you want you can honestly skip this part.

Your contractions started early in the morning. Around 2am you felt the familiar cramp in your stomach that pulsed. At first, you thought it was another false alarm. You had been having a lot lately, but they just kept coming. They weren't long, and they weren't super painful yet either. They just made you tense and pause for breath. You shuffled out of the bathroom and looked over to the sleeping form in your bed.

There the father slept peacefully. You gazed upon his gentle features tucked underneath layers of scaring. You had wondered if the baby would take after him. If they would have that cute little beauty mark on his chin. You suddenly realized You'd be finding out soon enough. You laid back down beside him and closed your eyes in an attempt to get a few more hours of sleep before you had to prepare.

Mostly everything had been prepared beforehand. Your Midwife, a kind woman by the name of Mae would be on call at all times. Once contractions started getting regular, you were to call her. Apparently, Mae was well known amongst villain and crime families. When Tomura first brought her, you were surprised there was even such a thing as a Villian Midwife. But the more you thought about it, the more it made sense. Underground villains and criminals needed their own help. Accountants, lawyers, employees, etc. With Villians becoming more and more popular, it was no surprise that you weren't the only villain family.

Mae was a professional, the best at her craft. She'd delivered hundreds of babies without issue and you would be her next case. She practically took over the house with everything she did. Helping to put together a nursery and everything you could have ever needed. You decided on natural water birth. Something that made Shigaraki unreasonably nervous. If anything went wrong, he was prepared to call every villain doctor he knew of. Hell, he'd send for you to be airlifted to the nearest hospital if necessary.

The pain woke you up again. The intense ache coursing through your body. You let out a strained breath as you sat up in bed. Your partner jumping to life with a jolt. You chuckled through the pain when you saw his wide-eyed expression.

"You okay?" He asked, his wide eyes filled with concern. You've never seen him so visibly worried before. So doting. You continued to laugh as the pain passed.

"Yeah it's just, the contractions, they're getting worse." You took deep breaths as you sat up in bed. Resting your head against a tower of pillows. Tomura sat up to get a better look at you.

"Should I call Mae?"

"Um...no I don't think that's necessary yet."

"Have they been regular?"

"Well, every ten or so minutes."

"I'm calling Mae." He turned away to get up and reach for his phone before you stopped him.

"No! Not yet. I can wait. I don't wanna bother her." His expression turned dark.

"I'm calling Mae." He ignored you, leaving the room to call the midwife. You huffed in frustration. Really, you felt fine. It was like a bad period cramp. There was no need to panic. "She'll be here in thirty minutes. I'm preparing the tub."

"No, Tomura wait, please. That's not necessary. I'm not even remotely close yet. Just hold on a few more hours." Tomura looked away and back down the hallway. He shifted from side to side before entering the room again and sitting on the edge of the bed beside you. His eyes glued to your thighs. He reached out a gloved hand and placed it on your knee, running his hand up and down your thigh.

"Don't try to tough this out." He told you.

"I won't." His eyes shot up to give you a knowing look.

"You need to tell me if anything goes wrong. If anything feels even the slightest bit off."

"I will. I promise." You reassured him. Bringing your hand to grasp his. He pulled his eyes away to look down at your hand and squeeze back.

"This is really what you want? It's not too late, Mae could bring it to be adopted. We could go home." Tears filled your eyes. No. You've come so far, done so much to prepare. You're not giving them up now. You shook your head.

"No. I can't do that. I've come too far for that now. That isn't my home anymore." You tore your hand from his to cup his cheek. When you looked back up, you could see tears forming in his ruby-red eyes. He looked scared. His bottom lip starting to quiver. "You are." You told him. He let out a defeated sigh and rested his head against your belly.

"You better not hurt her. You hear me? You better be good to her." He whispered. Your tears finally fell down your warm cheeks. You quickly wiped them away. You loving ran your fingers through his hair, petting his head. The sweet moment only to be interrupted by the sharp pain of another contraction.

"Fuck!" You cursed as your hand tightly grasped his shoulder. His attention snapped up to you, tears running down his face as he watched. Soon the pain passed as you took deep breaths. "Do you think, you could time my contractions for me?" You asked as it eased.

And so the hours upon hours of labor began. At first, Mae recommended you stand and move around to lessen the intensity of your pain. So now Tomura watched you shuffle around the house as you groaned and cursed. He timed every contraction, put the blow-up pool together, and set up towels by it, made you raspberry leaf tea because he read somewhere that was helpful.

He counted the seconds until Mae arrived. When the doorbell rang he promptly stood from his seat on the couch and quickly went to open the door. There stood the short old woman with a large smile plastered across her face. Her six arms holding a plethora of bags and boxes of necessities and pleasantries. She left one hand free just to greet him with a wave. He looked behind to watch the car with his own men drive away, and then again around the yard.

"Don't worry. There's no one but me, honey." Mae reassured as she pushed past him and into the house. You watched her waddle in as a contraction began to fade. Her attention leaving Tomura far behind and devoting it entirely to you. You watched Tomura grunt before looking back out the door to check one more time before closing and locking it. "I mean really, think about it. What woman in her right mind would use this time of all times to call the heroes on you. How cruel would I be!" She chuckled as she set her things down.

"You'd be a fool not to. A time like this would be perfect. We're alone and vulnerable." He growled behind her.

"And end my career just like that? No sir! I've worked too hard to get where I am just to let you dust me! Now let's see, you said on the phone contractions were regular?"

"Oh, well, not really. They're not that bad. Maybe every fifteen, ten minutes, give or take. Right?" You looked up at Tomura as he starred down with a cold expression.

"Her pain varies, but the timing is growing consistent." He corrected. You huffed in annoyance.

"Alright well let me just check the baby's heartbeat before we do anything else, okay? The last visit everything was fine, but we can't be too careful now can we, Dad?" She addressed him. A cold metal stethoscope glided across your skin as she silently listened. "Good, strong heartbeat. Everything looks good right now. Let's keep you active for now and monitoring those contractions, okay? Dad? How are we doing on preparations?" She turned back to look up at Tomura with an unbothered stare. He glared down at her.

"I've prepared the pool and towels. I'll add the warm water when we're getting closer."

"Oh good. That's more than most Dads do. You got a planner here don't ya?" She turned to you and smiled.

"Heh. He's a doomsday prepper." You joked. Tomura did not find this amusing, but Mae gave a kind giggle.

"Well, at least he's smart, huh?" She spoke as she shuffled away and back to her cluster of items. You looked up at Tomura and watched his expression soften as his eyes met yours. You gave him a kind smile.

"Something like that." His eyes narrowed on you for a moment, only to relax again when you chuckled at him.

Contractions came and went. Getting stronger and stronger by the hour. Now they were getting closer and closer. They started at 2am, it was now 9 at night. Tomura helped you undress to get you into the warm water of the pool he placed in the living room. Mae moving furniture aside and setting up her tools and everything as you stepped into the warmth of the bath. It allowed your tense muscles to relax, forcing a moan of relief from your lungs. Tomura knelt down behind you, his gloved hands never too far behind.

He watched you closely, all of his attention focused entirely on you. His right hand reaching out to rub soothing circles across your bare back. You closed your eyes shut as you groaned, another contraction grabbing ahold of you.

"That's it, good job. Don't forget your breathing, focus on your breathing. Dad, don't forget to do the breathing too." His eyes flashed up at Mae before going back to you.

"C'mon Y/N, breath with me." He instructed, his hand coming around to lay flat against your chest as you laid back against the pool. He felt your chest rise and fall with each deep breath. "Good. Again." He continued firmly. Another contraction struck, sending a jolt of pain throughout your entire body. You coiled back in pain, your face scrunching into a painful grimace.

"Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck!"

"Okay! Okay! Let's check you again see how far you're along okay!? Just breath."

"Just breath." He repeated.

"I'm breathing! I'm breathing!" You shouted back in frustration.

"Okay we're getting close you guys, we might be ready to push here in a few minutes." You panted as the pain subsided again. Tomura's attention came back down on Mae.

The birth itself felt like a pain-fueled blur. An intoxicatingly painful bender of sounds and colors. You couldn't focus or think straight, the pain rattling your head in your own skull. He watched you bark and huff and cry out. Something he knew very well. For a moment it took him back to the long and painful Dr's visits. The pain so unimaginable he grows hot with rage at the idea you might be feeling even an ounce of pain at all. Pain he caused.

You swung your head back to plant it firmly on his shoulder, your hair wet with sweat and water. He holds your hand tight, willingly letting you crush it with your own strength. It's nothing to him. He presses his lips into your temple. Wishing with all his might he could go back in time and change things. You're panting, you're body is growing weak, your hand is losing its grasp. Your shoulders are relaxing. No. No. This isn't right. You're not supposed to be this weak now!

"Almost!" Mae's voice shouts with gusto. He rests his head against yours before he lets out a weak and exhausted sigh. His voice rattles in a sad and begging tone.

"C'mon Y/N. You're so close." He says softly. Your body coils back as he feels your muscles spring to life once again. Your lungs filling with air before you let out a shrill, horrific battle cry. Only for it to abruptly be replaced by another. Your body drops limp in his arms once more as he feels you panting. Mae gives a triumphant cheer and proceeds to tell you how well you've done. How it's all over.

"Hello, little one!" The old lady chimes brightly. Tomura keeps his eyes shut tight as he presses his head against yours. He hears their loud, harsh cry. He knows it's over. He knows there is no going back. Once he opens his eyes and looks at them, at that little monstrosity, it'll be all over. Maybe you'll see the truth when you see it. Maybe you'll finally understand and come home with him once and for all.

"Both of you, open your eyes! Look at him!" Mae orders. The harsh and intense pain subsided, left with a dull ache, renders you exhausted. You hardly feel you have the strength to open your eyes, much less move. You pull your head up, feeling the weight of it on top of your neck. Heavy and pounding. You pull your eyelids apart to look down, your vision blurry at first. The harsh light blinding you for a moment before the shapes you see sharpen and become reality.

"Tomura, look." You whisper. His hand squeezes yours, he's gently shaking. You turn to watch him slowly open his eyes, and turn his head. In Mae's arms, a rather small and wrinkly infant cries. It's nearly blue skin, changing as it screams. Its face quickly becoming red with expression. It's no monster. It's weak and helpless and unaware. It's so small, it's half the height of his forearm. Its little hands, balled into fists, swat at the air as its legs coil back to its torso.

"Say hello!" Mae jokes. With a weak smile and laugh you oblige.

"Hello!" You coo. Tomura relaxes as you look back at him with a kind and elated smile. His gaze never leaves the child as Mae prepares him to be placed on your bare chest. Its crying soon subsides as it curls up under your chin. It's crying being replaced with little huff and sniffles from you. He leans back and away to watch the two of you.

He's in shock it would seem. As he sits back to watch you, he feels a tightness in his chest. He feels a wave of somber relief wash over him. His thoughts were gone only replaced my emotions.

"Dad?" Mae calls to him. "Dad?" She calls again. The third time he turns his head to look at her with a wide-eyed expression. She chuckled at him. "Would you like to cut the cord?" She offers, bringing him closer and instructing him how. He does so, quickly turning his attention back to the two of you. You look so peaceful. So happy. His gaze trails down to his child.

He watches his balled little fists press themselves against your chest, its expression turning relaxed and calm. Its little head covered in a rich black mess of hair. What color are its eyes? He wonders.

You turn your head to look up at him with that sweet adoring smile. His heart raced in his chest. He is overwhelmed and yet at this moment, nothing is happening. Time has slowed and has become irrelevant to him. The way you look at him. He feels like he's done something right. Like he's being praised for a job well done. He feels wrong about it. He should be making you feel that way. So, he tries.

"A boy?" His voice is hoarse and shaking. You nod your head. "A boy."

"A healthy one at that! Those lungs!" Mae jokes again as her arms go about working to clean and manage the space. You gently run the pads of your fingers against his small little back. His skin is so soft and smooth.

"Give me your hand." You requested.

"What?" He spat in shock.

"Give me your hand." You repeat firmly, your fingers gently spelling out the word: Mom, on his little back. Tomura reaches out a gloved hand. You reached out and removed the glove, taking his middle finger and gently directing it to the baby's back. "Gently." You tell him. Pressing the pad of his finger to his son's soft back. With this, you gently spell: Dad, repeatedly. Until he understands and continues to spell it himself along the baby's back. Very careful, and delicate. Tomura rests his head on your shoulder as he continues, slowly drawing the word. Allowing for a safe and intimate moment between the three of you.

[americachavez]

extremely indulgent post about team free will 2.0 as people I knew when I worked retail go

sam is that one manager I had who was easy and personable and fun to talk to but didn’t pretend to be your friend to get you to work a 14 hour shift when you were scheduled for 8, but halfway through the year started sleeping with a dude who got her addicted to meth which caused her to get her car repo’d so she had to bum rides from everyone at the store because the bus doesn’t run after midnight. final straw for free rides is when she asked us to pick up her boyfriend from a strip club on our way home while dropping her off after our shift at 2AM and about a month later she was fired for smoking weed behind the dumpster, which seemed surprisingly tame because you watched her snort coke at a party, and also the meth thing. had great hair though.

cas is me, who does great with every aspect of retail except for getting customers to apply for our store credit card because they clearly do not have the financial resources to open another card that is exclusive to our store and I don’t want that on my conscience so I would never be promoted past assistant manager. gets invited to be a third by a bearded cajun IT guy installing the new computer system but doesn’t realize why the dude kept talking about his girlfriend and threesomes and their hotel room until like, the next day (yes this happened). ends up quitting to live abroad for 6 months and is never heard from again

dean is not management material. dean is the hot fedex delivery guy who joked about killing someone once and who bragged that he has broken all of his fingers multiple times. might have seen him at pride but we both pretended not to recognize each other

jack is also not management material. he is the one sales associate who managed to cry every single shift and then when I quit also cried and thanked me for helping them come out to their mom even though I had no idea they were gay. kind of made up for the crying thing

[seraphdarlimg]

wish I were (pt4)

  harry calls reader drunk to pick him up, later on finding him sat at her piano and playing a little song

masterlist

‘heather’ by conan gray WARNINGS - ANGST, swearing, fluff WORD COUNT - 4,418

_________________________________________________________

   Just fine is how I was feeling. I was lucky enough to be able to get started straight away with a new song to work on from a different artist. Practicing new instruments and talking to new clients have been what I've thrown myself into for the past 3 weeks.

Though drowning myself into work has kept me busy and given me excuses to ignore the hundreds of calls and texts from Harry, it felt like months had pass instead of only one. I seem to forget more about them and only remember the look on his face when I turn my back on him and left. Instead of memorizing chords and words, my brain can only comprehend the words we said and the last time I felt his touch or embrace. When I want to remind myself of what he did, the moment on the balcony is the first thing that comes to my mind and I curse myself for it.

I missed him, of course I did. As I sit in front of my laptop with an opened tab on a recording program, I am instead met with another creator's block and thinking about Harry again. Two points of thought that I hate being stuck in at the moment. The empty bags and containers of snacks and my dinner surround me and I'm wrapped in a blanket while a sad playlist is playing on spotify. It was a depressing sight.

But I can only image the state that Harry's in. After everything, I still miss and care about him, wondering if he's excited about the album release tomorrow or if he's hydrated and taking the fact that I've chose to walk out of his life better than I am. It's pathetic really, but it's part of it and I can only hope to learn to live without him through time. If that is something I can even think of doing in the first place.

He hasn't called or text throughout the whole day though. I didn't want it to bother me but it did, even if it was time away that I'm asking for. I glanced at the black screen of my phone, pressing the button to turn it on. 12:23 AM and no notifications.

'i do love you, i'm sorry' one day ago. This is a good sign. This should be a good sign.

I sighed, forcing myself to turn away from my phone and focus on finishing this piece. The instrumentals are there and the rhythm is set, but coming up with lyrics prove to be difficult when I feel physically and emotionally drained.

It was late anyways. I would of been asleep by now to get ready for tomorrow, but it was most likely made clear I wouldn't be celebrating with the gang. I told Jeff the excuse that I had a meeting up north for the valid reason, even though everyone already knows what happened between the two best friends. A lunch with Sara and Mitch a week ago started off normal and pleasant as always, but had ended with Mitch bringing up Harry and me leaving abruptly.

"He's a mess. Hasn't left his house and has been ignoring everyone all week. We don't know what really happened between you two, but it's obvious that you haven't been the same as well."

The mention was enough to irk me. "Can we not right now?"

"Look even though we care about you, it's still non of our business to get involved. But it's still our jobs to see that when someone we care about is bothered by something, we make sure they are aware of it. Both of you aren't happy and should simply talk about it."

"It's not that simple Sara, he's too stubborn."

"It doesn't have to be now, but eventually. You yourself know that what you two have is way too special to just walk away from."

"Yeah well what if it's not? What if it's just not what everyone expects it to be? That even if we somehow make it work throughout everything, he's just going to run off to someone else again who'll just be better in so many ways."

"He's not the type of person to do that and you know it."

"I thought I did."

With my head rested on my hand, I feel my eyes droop. The instrumental of the song played on repeat on the program as I try to come up with words. Heartbreak and insecurities are the only topics that come to mind with the upbeat sound. I close my eyes for bit, letting the first stage of sleep take it's toll while my brain works overtime producing lines of rhymes.

But my ringtone drives me out of it. I only force my eyes open when I pick up my phone and answer the call, not thinking of who could be the only possible human being to call me at this hour. I sighed, pausing the recording and saving it. "Hello?"

"Hiiiii love! Karl told me I should call someone because I've had too much apparently. Can you please tell him that I'm a grown man that can handle my alcohol?" Shit.

"Harry- wait hold on, you're drunk now? Don't you have... who are you with?" My voice was tired and already raspy. It took longer than needed to process what was actually happening.

"Oh just all by my lonesome self at first... imagined you here a few times but I know that wasn't true, but Karl the bartender is here now!" His voice was muffled and almost drowned out by the sound of a pub. His words were slurred and I can only rub my temples at the situation he's already put me in.

"Why did you call me for this."

"Well my phone's dead and you're the number I memorized." He said softly after hearing my tone. I shouldn't, but he's drunk and alone.

"I'll call Mitch-"

"Only want you. Please?" I can imagine him pouting and I was too tired to argue with him.

"I can't do this right now..."  

"Bubs, my head is starting to hurt and everyone is not being nice. Except Karl, Karl is a nice dude."

Maybe if I wasn't overworked and sleep deprived at the moment, I would of been in the righter state of mind. But the other half of me that worried about his state took the opportunity to see him once again.

"Where are you, Harry?"

***

It was easy to find a drunk Harry Styles at a pub. A small local one that we've been too once or twice in the past, enjoying each other's company over a glass after studio hours. And there he was again, sat at the stools we'd sit on and wallowing to Karl the bartender.

"Hey." I placed a hand on his shoulder after making my way through the small crowd that gathered around him that's been listening into his conversation. His eyes light up when he turns around and sees me, while I take in how disheveled he looks. His curls are messy and his bloodshot baggy eyes tells me he's been crying for a while.

"You're here." He mutters softly after he takes a moment to register that it's actually me. I only give him a small nod in confirmation, feeling that heart ache as he pulls me into a hug. "I'm sorry." I hear when he nuzzles into my neck, most likely apologizing when he sees how tired and unwell i am as he does.

"It's okay, come on let's get you home." I managed to let out, pulling away, guiding him out of his seat and away from the bar. "Oh okay, bye Karl! Keep the change." I send the bartender a grateful smile to which he returns with a pity look on his face.

"Just hold my hand Harry okay?" I tell him when I remember how clingy he gets when intoxicated. He doesn't hesitate to do so as we make our way through the crowd and out of the building.

I managed to get him in the passenger's seat without much interaction, now in the driver's seat and cursing at myself when I realized I didn't have enough gas to take him to his house. I didn't have the energy to go to the gas station this late.

"Are you crying..." He asks, pouting when I placed my face in my hands, taking deep breaths. "Please don't be sad, love." I shook my head, counting in my head as I felt Harry lean over and watch me.

"How many did you have?" I asked when I built up the will not to cry and turned on the ignition.

"Didn't bother counting, didn't matter." I kept my eyes in front of me as I drove while I felt his still on me.

"I would beg to differ. Shouldn't be my responsibility anyways." I quickly countered, noting the sharp tone in my voice and the frown I could imagine on his face.

"I'm sorry...I really wanted to see you."

"Hmm, and getting wasted and being an inconvenience is the way to get my attention." There was a second of silence and I glanced at him to check if he was still conscious, only to see that frown and his head hung in shame. My eyes trailed to the pearl necklace tucked into his sweater, as well as a yellow ribbon tied where it clasps together.

The grip I had on the wheel loosened but I sighed as I hated how guilty I felt after, aware how difficult it was to be mad when he was hurt. "That was harsh..."

"Nooo, I deserve it. I really do because I was mean to you and I don't ever want to be mean to you. Because it hurts me too ya know? More than it did when you walked away...I'm sorry that I hurt you."

I didn't say anything after that, spending the rest of the car ride back to my place in silence.

***

"You don't have to be rich, to be my giiirl. You don't have to be cool to rule my wooorld..."

My annoyance conflicted with the flutters my heart was feeling as Harry was softly singing all the way from my car to my sofa, hand held and clinging to my side the whole time. He plopped down, immediately taking a pillow. "Ain't no particular sign, I'm more compatible wiiith- hey you have that record right? Can you put it on pretty please?"

"It's 2AM, I'm not putting on a record right now." I took off my shoes and coat, graciously doing the same for him when he pouts and rests his head back on the couch. "Aw, you used to not care about that before. Is it because of your neighbors terrible taste of music to blast so late at night?"

"What?" I rubbed my eyes, standing up and going to the kitchen. I couldn't hear his mumbled response, but I returned with a glass of water to see him humming with his eyes closed. He cuddled the pillow close to him and I rolled my eyes, almost laughing at how he was tapping his foot along with the song he was playing in his head.

"Here..." He holds his hand out expectantly and I gave it to him. He takes a drink while I place his coat over the coffee table and go to get him an extra pillow and blanket.

"Oh everything hurts." He whines as I place the pillow down on the end of the couch. "My heart mostly, but that's so cheesy of me isn't it? Yours probably hurts more m' sorry...wish I could take it away."

It wasn't just his naïve words that had my eyes start welling up with tears, but it was also the realization of how he can easily break me down. I couldn't last a whole month without being there when he needs someone, when I was the one who wanted to leave. It was also probably the realization that I had grabbed the same blanket we used to set that little picnic in the studio.

"Wish I didn't cause it in the first place." He added, which led to me sitting down on the chair next to the couch, holding onto the blanket a little longer as delirium was starting to set in.

"I don't think we should have this conversation now, Harry... this is so unfair." I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.

"It is, but I'm scared I won't get another chance." My silence gave him the answer he was already aware of.

"What exactly do you want another chance of Harry, enlighten me." I closed my eyes for a minute, only to open them to see Harry looking at me in a different way. It's different, but I've noticed it before.

"Loving you." He's hesitant with his next words, most likely having sobered up a little. "I hadn't seen Heather for a few days after you left, told her later on about what happened. Took your advice though, talked to her and everything. It just wouldn't work out in the end...couldn't see myself with her in the future."

"But now you do with me?" I softly muttered, holding myself back from reaching out to him. He only nods, having that guilty look on his face because he's fully aware he doesn't deserve it. My droopy eyes are glued to his and that damn pearl necklace, too many thoughts in my head to come up with one whole response.

"Should of just called Mitch. You're an idiot for giving yourself a hangover on your release day." I finally said after a moment of silence.

"Hmm? Oh that, no that's not happening." He says casually, playing with the embroidery on the pillow he was hugging.

"What do you mean?"

"I've postponed the album thingy indefinitely or something."

"Aren't you finished with it?"

"I mean it's got 12 songs and everything but I don't know if it's really finished, I don't know." He shrugs and I'm almost annoyed by how calm nonchalant he is about it.

"You never know things Harry."

"And I hate it, I knooow! I don't know why I can't just figure it out and I hate that I'm hurting you because of it." He frowns, rubbing his eyes. "But I do know now that I love you. Really love you. Maybe if I figured that out sooner, you wouldn't hate me bubs."

I fiddle with my fingers, given up on trying to collect all my thoughts together a long time ago as I can only allow myself to take in his words and listen. He was right, in any other situation where I wasn't tired and delirious, I probably wouldn't even be in the same room as him. So here I was again, allowing myself to hurt in order to make sure he's taken care of.

Maybe it's what I deserve though. He left Heather because of me. I caved into myself at the though that I ruined the relationship of two people who loved each other simply because I didn't get the memo. She is everything in his eyes, he's proven that, so why didn't I just leave them be?

"Ugh, you probably hate me calling you that now but you know I won't stop cause you are my bubs! Like how I'm you're H. Oh... well, you stopped calling me that so...maybe not anymore but I want to be. Can I be your H again please, I miss that too." My thoughts were cut off  when he continued, finding him now lying down with his eyes closed.

"Maybe one day." I reassured him hesitantly. We would of stayed friends, we wouldn't of had to fall apart, if I had just left him alone.

"Was a weird nickname anyways, just a letter." He mumbles as I stood up, laying the blanket over him while he still holds onto the pillow.

"You sort of gave it to yourself though, get some sleep Harry."  I managed to get out, facing away from him to hide the tear that fell. He should be trying to fix his relationship with her and not me.

"Yeah, but you just started calling me it and I fell in love with it." I take one more look at him before I shut my door, seeing his face nuzzled into the pillow and the glint of a small smile on his face as he drifts off to sleep.

***

8:23. I slept around 2 and woke up 7 hours later to faint piano keys. I took in the soft melody, not recognizing it but enjoying it for a second before I forced myself to sit up and rub my eyes, realizing how dry my skin was from crying. It was definitely a sad song made up of only four chords and a fitting way to start the day as I remember the person who is most likely playing it.

I didn't want to face him, my head feeling too mushed to deal with anything else other than work. It was a weird situation to realize, the man I fell in love with and broke my heart is playing piano after I took him in when he was drunk. He tells me he officially breaks up with Heather after realizing he loves me.

He loves me?

No he doesn't. He should still love her, should be trying to get back to her now that I'm out of the picture. But he hasn't been trying too for the past month, focused on me this whole time. But why?

I snapped myself out of those thoughts quickly, knowing how terrible the following ones would be. I didn't want to think about it anymore, wanting to forget and move on. And as I quietly open my door and peaked out onto my apartment, I see his mess of curls sat on my keyboard with the blanket wrapped around him. He was considerate enough to lower the volume at least.

I took a deep breath and walked out quietly, leaning against the door frame as I continue to listen. "Part of the album, has some of your lyrics in it." He says when he notices my presence.

"Hmm. You told me that you've postponed it." I crossed my arms as he finishes the song with a long note. I see him nod, now looking down at his hands on his lap before adjusting the blanket to fully encase him.

"Yeah I did. It didn't feel right, putting something out there that I should be proud of, but you not being there to be happy with. You not wanting too in there first place, when you put your heart and soul into it, all because of me."

I frown, looking away from him when his intense eyes met mine. "It's too early Harry..."

"You told me it wasn't a good time last night too, so when is?" He huffs and I roll my eyes.

"I don't know after I have my fucking coffee?" I scoffed, uncrossing my arms and heading towards the kitchen. I hear him sigh, not saying anything else as I prepare a cup for myself, already annoyed and stressed out. I felt him staring at me while I avoided making eye contact, rubbing my temples.

"I'm sorry if I was trouble." He says, still sat down on the keyboard with the blanket wrapped around him.

"You're sorry for a lot of things." I sighed, pouring coffee into my cup.

"I am. But I don't know how to really apologize to you when you won't even let me talk to you."

I placed my cup down, suddenly forgetting about my coffee and finally looked at him. "Well what do you expect Harry? After everything you think I'm just going to trust you again? I told you I was done, I wanted to walk out of your life."

"But you picked me up. You still care, that still has to means something." He's frustrated now, desperate even and it only frustrates me more.

"Ah yes, decent morality to not leave an A list celebrity drunk in room full of strangers. That really dumb of you to do by the way, without any bodygaurds- what were you thinking?" I said, noticing how he was fiddling with the pearls that hung around his neck.

"The past month has been hell for me and all I wanted to do was see you. I feel so fucking guilty and sad and it's eating me up because I know I don't deserve any sort of reassurance from you. But at the same time, I so badly just want you back and I'm sorry for how selfish and arrogant I am." He was crying and I soften a little because of it. He tries holding it in, looking down as he quickly wipes away the tears that fall. I don't bother hiding mine anymore, having gotten used to it by now and I was tired of it.

"I've been in pain since December. Four months that you put me through so can blame me when I just want it to stop? I am so exhausted because no matter how much I throw myself into work, all I can think about is you and loving you."

"But I love you too, shouldn't that be enough to try again?" It should of been and he knows. Maybe if he realized it sooner, during his birthday, things would be different.

"You've proven that it's not." I say disappointingly, willing myself to walk over and sat down next to him, looking ahead at my piano in front of me. "I don't know what to do anymore Harry. Why can't you let me have this? Let me move on."

"Cause you and I both know we can't leave each other, too emotionally attached. I need you in my life bubs, everything sucks when you're not in it." I laugh a little at that, because it was true in a fucked up way.

"That's so unfair, why did you have to hurt me?" I hesitantly lay my head on his shoulder before he droops the other end of the blanket around me.

"I know most of my relationships don't last. Deep down I've always loved you but I couldn't let myself fall for you because I didn't want to ruin us. The thought of us breaking up and never seeing each other again just terrified me because I never wanted to lose you, ever. But I fucked up and managed to do so anyways, and I hate myself every day as much as you do." He starts playing the song again as he speaks, but it plays it down a key and slower.

"I don't hate you, can't bring myself too, but you shouldn't of been afraid to talk to me. You know who I am, we would of worked through it no matter what." He nods, followed by only the sounds of the piano melody.

"I'm in love with you." I hear him say softly after a little while out of the blue. It catches me off guard, finding it so foreign to hear those words come from him.

I let out a soft self deprecating chuckle. "No you don't. You care about me, but you don't love me. Probably saying this out of guilt or spur of the moment type thing and I can understand that, but you love Heather. She's good for you, perfect even."

"But I fell in love with you. She's not you." His brows are furrowed together as he frowns.

"Yeah, I'm not her." The small glint of my smile quickly fades and he notices it.

"What I did during my speech was very shitty. Gemma pointed it out to me right away and it's one of the biggest things I ever regret doing." He stops playing when he sees me deep in thought, slowly taking my hand to test the waters. "But I need you to understand what I said was true, that you are such an important person to me. You are beautiful, and kind, patience, and just so fucking good to me, love. I want to cherish you because it's what you deserve and I will deal with as much rejection for you to forgive me and give me another chance. It's worth every heartbreak if it means I get to love you again."

I find myself in an intimate situation, looking into his eyes at such a close proximity, our faces only inches away from each other. I was pleading to him with my eyes, begging him not to hurt me again while the look on his face was one I used to be familiar with. He was frozen while the fear that it would only just happen again held me back from moving. His eyes fluttered down to my lips, as if asking for permission and my head was refusing it. But every other part of me wanted to feel those lips again. I looked down at his, my hand taking hold of his and placing it on my chest to where my heart is before he made the move to finally press our lips together in a small kiss.

I wanted to sob because it felt right. I felt the butterflies again and the complete state of satisfaction. This time was gentle as well, but Harry put so much love into the kiss, cupping my cheek with his other hand when he feels how fast my heart was beating.

It only took a second more before I slowly pulled away, still tightly holding his hand against my heart as he could sense my doubt. "It's going to take some time okay? Probably a long time but you caused me a lot of heartbreak. But I never stopped loving you H, as much as I didn't want too anymore." I said seriously, and his eyes lits up with hope. Holding back his smile as much as he could while he nods because he heard that little nickname again.

"I'll give you as much time and space as you need, thank you. I love you so much bubs." He pulls me into a hug, nuzzling his face into my neck and I feel instantly calmer because of it. I rest my head on his shoulder while he mumbles sweet words into my skin.

"Promise I'll be good to you."

______________________________________________

A/N: :o it’s complete. I finished it yay! I’m so proud with how this series came out and I genuinely hope you guys do as well. I’ve started my semester and it’s going to be hectic so writing will take longer to come out, but there will be future stories that I’m really looking forward to writing and sharing :)

taglist: @big-galaxy-chaos​

[sashaforthewin]

[Cw: suicide]

Story time!

So, I used to perform comedy and improv and this one time I participated in a 24 hour improv-a-thon. There were a ton of performers and we took shifts so there was always a few people awake to perform, but even planning ahead energy starts to flag at some point. For the most part all the performers were varying levels of good or at least decent, but there was this one dude that was terrible. He wasn’t a beginner, he was just terrible.

This dude was not a team player at all, he did not take anything from his scene partner but their happiness. You’re supposed to go out and create a scene with someone else on the spot, this dude would come out already having written the scene in his head and would openly deny any addition you gave him. And not only was he impossible to play with, dude also was just shitty at presenting his ideas. Like he would come out and say “Hello, wife, let’s get into my car and drive to the mall” as if that was something a human would say and if you tried to turn it into a scene where he is not human he would just say no. Basically, what I am saying is he was horrible and negative and everyone hated any time he walked onto stage. 

So it was like 2am at this improv-a-thon and everyone watching is bored and tired and all the performers are burnt out and frustrated that this dude is taking advantage of the smaller number of performers and basically going up for every scene. It finally gets to the point where nobody is willing to go out when they see him head onto the stage. So he has just gone out and is waiting for his scene partner and there is a little too long of a delay and he is glaring into the wings, not even trying to start his scene alone because he really only describes a scene, he doesn’t act it out. I can tell he already has the entire dumb scene planned out in his head, but nobody else is making a move and as much as I don’t want to deal with his bullshit, I can’t just allow a show to die. I start to walk out onto stage, I see him relax because now he has the scene puppet he wants to toss around. As I approach my mind goes blank and I do the first thing that pops into my head to avoid his scene.

As soon as he opens his mouth to talk, I act out pulling out a gun, cocking it, and shooting myself. I fall down dead on the stage and see everyone watching suddenly  perks up and starts actually paying attention. What is this dude going to do? All my fellow performers that are awake are leaning in, waiting to see this dude try to force his scene now. Well, I’ll tell you right now he doesn’t react as a character would to another character shooting themself, he just sort of stands there confused. Dude hesitates, trying to think of how to make his scene still happen. He reaches a fast conclusion that I am now useless to him and looks to the wings to summon a new partner.

After a beat, someone else strolls onto stage and immediately reacts to my body, then looks up at the dude. New guy is giving dude a chance to abandon his plans and play a real improvised scene. But from his eyes and the way he starts to speak, it is clear dude is ignoring all this with the plan to continue his idea unaltered. So new guy takes out an imaginary gun and shoots himself. His body lands across my legs and we wait. Now dude is annoyed that he is once again left without the human prop his personal scene needed. 

About a beat goes by and then the wings are a flurry of activity as every performer lines up, and then one by one comes out on stage, reacts to the ever-growing pile of bodies, and then shoots themself as soon as dude starts to speak. But guys, this wasn’t just the awake performers, this was ALL of them, every last person somehow ended up awake and on the body pile with which I was unfortunately at the bottom of. And we were all having such an amazing time, the pile rippled with contained giggles. It was just such a wonderful rush to finally be able to take control from this guy and at the same time still be better performers for having acknowledged the bodies before joining them. It brought us all together and made us truly a team despite most of us never having met before the event started. 

All performers now being in the body pile and no other help on the way, dude just made a frustrated noise and flat out gave up and left the stage, which was probably the most fitting option, though I had hoped he could’ve at least improvised enough to join the pile. Despite the anticlimactic ending, everyone loved the scene and the untangling at the end was pretty fun to watch, I assume, and eventually I got circulation back once everyone was finally off of me and I had walked it off. And despite it being past 2am, the next few hours were so energetic and creative and we all just had so much fun playing on stage and doing scenes that really broke out of the box and got experimental, and dude went off to have a nap and not join any more scenes the rest of the show. 

Also, just a side note, having someone play dead in a scene is not the end of a scene, there are still a million options. Hell, most performers can pull off a scene all on their own. So while my first move was a dick move, it was only an insurmountable problem because this guy would not play with others.

[al3x1ss]

Cheerleader Captain {HCs}

Includes: Terushima, Oikawa

THIS IS WRITTEN WITH A GENDER NEUTRAL READER!

Authors Note: This is a sort of collab with @lexysclubhouse based on our conversations LMAO, but seriously go check hers out!

If a part 2 is wanted, leave an ask!

Warnings: Cursing

Terushima

aLRIGHT KIDS LETS GET TO IT

also hello go check out Lexy’s part of this (collab? Idfk)

SO

you two probably met while he was in practice, but since you’re the cheer captain, you needed to get the last jacket for one of your competitions coming up

so they’re on a water break and they just see a random person come in like

👀

are you lost baby gorl 😏

ANYWHO

Terushima comes up to you smirk and all

“Hey gorgeous, you lookin for me?”

You just look up at this man

Bored as hell

And you’re just SILENT

sO HES JUST LOSING CONFIDENCE LMAO

“No.”

YOU JUST SHOVE PAST HIM

HOMEBOY LOOKS LIKE A LOST PUPPY

so you go to your coach, and immediately a smile comes of your face

and he’s like oh my god

Angel 🥺

so you talk with your coach, get the jacket and say goodbye to her

jacket w a v i n g in the wind behind you like there’s literally a fan on but there’s not?

you’re just so cool to him

so he has already fallen like

IMMEDIATELY

was trying to find you but he can’t

He’s over here thinking you’re a 3rd year from how mature you were

(You’re a second year hehehehe)

so the next time he sees you, YOURE at practice!

His team wasn’t told that their gym was gonna be used for a little before practice

So his team got their early and saw your team doing a routine to “Livin’ La Vida Loca”

ONCE AGAIN HE HAS FALLEN IN LOVE AND CANT GET OUT

DUDE

YOU WITH YOUR POM POMS?

YOUR HIPS

MF ALMOST GOT A NOSEBLEED SHIT

LIKE IT WASN EVEN EROTIC

YOJ WERE JUST SO STUNNING AND COOL LIKE SHIT

HE FELT LIKE A LITERAL NERD

the words “I don’t deserve their oxygen” full on came out from his mouth

ONE OF HIS TEAMMATES JUST STARTED WHEEZING LIKE

OH MY GOD

THEIR CAPTAIN?

W I M P

Like you’re practicing in sweats but shit I mean I’d simp 😳

About 2 weeks later he hears about you guys winning your competition

At this point you kind of know him? Like after that small interaction the cheer team and volleyball team were introduced to eachother

Especially since you were going to be cheering at prelims in 2 months

So the next day he pulls you aside and confesses

Stuttering and ALL

HE GOT YOU FLOWERS

LIKE HE GOT ROSES CUZ HES A BASIC BITCH

BUT LEAVE HIM ALONE HES TRYING 🥺

Shit I’d KILL to get flowers from someone

especially him

okay lex not the time

HE TAKES YOU ON A DATE TO THIS REALLY CUTE DINER

YOU KISS HIS CHEEK AT THE END OF THE NIGHT EIRHHTHTYN

YOU LUCKY MF I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

literally the first conversation was about his tongue piercing

And he got REALLY self conscious

BUT

YOU HAD ONE TOO?

WHICH WAS SUPER COOL

LIKE OMG TWINSIES

like of course you took it out for comps and stuff but for just hanging out you had it in

You look so hot with it to him

so two weeks pass and it’s pre-lims!

At this point you’re one of Johzenji’s favorite couples

Like why didn’t y’all get together sooner you cute as FUCK

So you guys are doing a small routine while Terushima goes up to serve

ITS THE SAME LIVIN LA VIDA LOCA ROUTINE LMAO

MANS IS JUST HOLDING THE BALL STARING AT YOU

NOT KNOWING THAT THE WHISTLE BLEW ALREADY

AND THEN HE SNAPS OUT IF IT REALIZING HIS 8 SECONDS WERE UP

HE LITERALLY G A V E A POINT TO THE OTHER TEAM BECAUSE YOU WERE SO PRETTY

Now between switching sides after losing the 1st set, you walk up to him

He’s just staring at you smirking

“So, you wanna talk about that serve?”

“OH IM SOOOOORY, my pretty baby was just so beautiful, I couldn’t look away.”

THIS MAN DOESNT WALK AWAY

HE MF S K I P S

YOURE RED AS HELL

PRETTY BABY?

BEAUTIFUL?

UGH

Oikawa

heheh HES WEARINT MY NUMBER I ALWAYS SCREAM AT THIS

OKAY SO I HAD A DRESM AB THIS

AND I LOVED IT

SO ITS HAPPENING

ENJOY

OKAY

SO

here’s what I’m thinking

Terushima HAS a cheerleading partner?

Oikawa HAD a cheerleading partner

Your schedules just never lined up and it was a mutual break up!!

You guys broke up about 3 months ago so the awkwardness is basically gone?

Like y’all are friends ya know

And yeah both of you do both still think about it randomly

mostly oikawa 👀

So they’re at practice and you come in SPRINTING

LIKE BOYS ARE ABOUT TO BLOW THE WHISTLE TO START A GAME AND THEY JUST SEE YOU ZOOM

SO EVERYONES JUST KINDA WATCHING LMAO

you don’t come out of the office for a while so they end up starting the game

you wanna know who’d up to serve

Oikawa :)

boy serves RIGHT when you come out

Like the universe was like “oh? let’s scare the mother loving SHIT out of ‘em!”

literally hits the wall next to you

“OIKAWA TOORU GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!”

MAN FREEZES

like shit

He was already gonna get scolded by iwa

but you?

he comes up to you with his arms behind his back, his eyes obviously terrified

“Do you know what you just did?”

“Yes.” 🥺

“And do you realize what you’re gonna do?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

Homeboy has never eeen this side of you so he’s terrified.

And when you go to walk away he realizes you’re wearing a captains jacket

“Wait, Y/N, you got promoted?”

“Oh, yeah, I tried for it like a month ago.”

“Congratulations.”

he kinda just stares at you walk out like

Me?

oIKawA tOoRU

missing my ex?

n e v e r

okay maybe sometimes

so the next time he sees you they’re at the prelims against date tech

And he seems you come in in your uniform

wOOSH 🥰

So you guys lock eyes and y’all wave at eachother

you can see his face is r e d so you’re smiling

the game starts, you guys doing simple cheers, but as they get to the transition to the second set, you guys start doing a cheer to “Idol” by BTS that you choreographed

And seeing you as a captain?

H I T THIS MAN

HIT IT TIL IT BREAKS TYPE BEAT

he literally paused to stare at you, iwa was like

“GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND DROOL AFTER THE GAME”

stan iwa honestly y’all would make fun of him together whenever you guys had time to hang out

So, end of prelims, they lost to Karasuno

And you’ve been to his house maybe a few times when you guys were dating?

so you remember where it is

his mom?

kinda shocked to see you?

especially in a cheerleading uniform since she never realized you did that?

but you were talking about how you just wanted to see him

so you go upstairs and into his room and he’s just in the corner with his alien plushy sobbing

Your heart is breaking at this point for this man

You go and sit beside him, him not really acknowledging you

“Tooru, I’m really really proud of you and what you’ve become. That will not be the last time you’re on a court, and I will make sure it that as long as I live.”.

he turns to you and turns his alien pushy, instead clinging onto you

You can feel your uniform getting soaked, but you run your fingers through his hair anyway, giving him forehead kisses

after a while of crying, he lifts his head to look at you, eyes still very puffy

You look at him back and you give him a small smile

And he puts his hand on your chin

Gotta get that kiss kiss after missing you for so long

SOFT MAKEOUTS WITH OIKAWA OKAY

so here you guys are at about 2am

Talking about how you missed eachother

“Y/N, I really want to get back together with you.”

😳

“Who would I be to say no to an offer like that?”

You guys go to school the next day

Give the rest of Seijoh 4 sQUEEZES

cuz they deserve it I love them dearly

on Saturday you guys actually went on a date!!

you wanna know what song came on the radio

MF IDOL

HE TURNS TO YOU GRINNING AND GOES

“Ya know you looked really cute doing this cheer, might want to see it again~”“OIKAWA TOORU I WILL NOT HESITATE TO CRASH THIS CAR”

End note: “Just a Friend to You” begins in two days and I’m v excited! (Once again thank you for 100 notes!) (self promotion ✨) But in all seriousness, please go check out Lexy’s stuff! She’s a great writer and is so sweet ❤️

~ Lex 🖤🤍

[hearts4-robin]

# flying colors - Katsuki Bakugo

# genre - fluffy angst

# pairing - Katsuki Bakugo x y/n (no specific gender)

# warnings - yelling, swearing, inappropriate words, intense arguments, crying, anxiety, trauma, panic/anxiety attack

# ages - Katsuki Bakugo: 16 - y/n: 16

# authors note - I hope you like this short story (: let me know if you like it and send in some requests! <# this story haven't been read through and English isn't my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes etc.

------------------------------------------

# - Thursday - 01.46 a.m. - U.A. Class 1-A dorm building - #

You had forgotten what you were arguing about. But it was heated. It was horrible, the yelling from your boyfriend was driving you crazy. He had just came back from another late extra practice and he had been lacking on giving you any attention. You got that you were both hardworking students but you missed the tingling feeling from when he'd hold you close at 2am while discussing why Mineta is a total asshole.

"You never talk to me anymore!" You voice almost cracked as the words left your mouth. Katsuki's frown sunk deeper, his vein in his neck starting to pulse faster. "Maybe I don't want to pay attention to you, y/n! Ever thought about WHY I always practice so late?" he snapped back. You could clearly see how he was holding back his anger. "Well- no, I haven't-" the thought struck you like one of Kamanari's shocks. "Are you cheating on me?" Katsuki's eyes widened as he watched tears prickle up in your eyes. "What-, no what kind of boyfriend do you actually think I am?" He was yelling. On the brink of screaming at you. "Clearly one who avoids me! Avoids my company! If you're so sick of hanging out with me, why don't you just go right ahead and break up with me?" Now you were yelling too. Holding back wasn't a thing anymore. You watched as Katsuki's hands started releasing small explosions as I his eyes turned darker. You couldn't tell if it was in disappointment, anger or sadness.

"Now why would you say that! Huh? Why?" He was screaming, a hidden growl and sadness under his voice. "Because it's how I feel, Katsuki!" you frowned deeper as your nails dug into the palms of your hands, creating small moon-shaped marks. "I don't care about how you feel, y/n!" You immediately felt a sting of pain in your chest as you watched your boyfriend clench his fist and walk past you and into his dorm room. Well aware that he just woke up half the for building, he slammed the door shut. You covered your mouth with your hand as warm salty tears started streaming down your cheeks. How could he say that to you?

"y/n-chan?-" You looked up, snapping out of the daze you had fallen into. The worried face of your fellow classmate, Eijiro Kirishima, appeared from his bedroom door. "Are you okay? I couldn't help but overhear you and Bakubros argument." He stated as he walked out the door and closing it, revealing himself in a fated red sweatshirt with a big 'Crimson Riot' over the chest and a pair of black pajama pants. You shook your head no at his question as he walked towards you in his big slippers. He frowned worridly as he allowed himself to wrap his arms around you and pull you into a hug. You let out a low sob before you buried your face in Eijiros chest. "H-He doesn't ca-care-, he doesn't care a-about me anymore!" You clung onto Eijiro as he rubbed your back in soothing circles in hope of calming down your mixed feelings. Your chest hurt, your throat was sore and your head was pounding in a quick pace.

"You know Bakubro-, he's not always easy to handle. He won't tell you but he really does love you. He cares for you a lot, y/n." Eijiro looked at you as he lowered his arms around you. You looked at your red haired classmate before he looked towards Katsuki's bedroom. "Give him three days alright? If he doesn't do anything, dump him. I know it sounds harsh but that's the rule I've lived after and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made. Think about it." You nodded at his words before wiping your tears off your cheeks, even though you knew they'd be back as soon as you'd close your bedroom door. "Good. Sleep well dude! I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow. Don't stay up too late!" Eijiro grinned cheekily as he waved at you. He closed his door as he disappeared behind it. Your lip quivered as you slowly walked to the elevator. You weakly pressed the button to summon the elevator. Stepping inside after the doors opened with a low 'ding!' you leaned against the wall. You pressed the button to your dorm floor before the elevator moved slowly. You rewinded the whole argument in front of you, everything passing like flying colors with all the wrong shades.

The elevator once again let out a 'ding!' before the doors slit open. Sniffling, you walked out of the elevator with your head down. "Young y/n."

You looked up with slightly wide eyes as you heard Mr. Aizawa speak. "M-Mister Aizawa-" You got cut off by his stare. It told you everything. You bowed before walking to your room. "I'll go to sleep. I'm sorry for waking you up." You sniffled back a few tears before you closed your bedroom door after you. Letting out a small sob, you feel onto your bed. You felt absolutely miserable. You felt horrible. The pain and guilt in your chest had spread to your stomach and you felt sick to the guts as you broke down in tears again. After almost 6 months with Katsuki as your #1 wingman and your boyfriend, hearing his words hurt you. 'I don't care about how you feel, y/n!'

Those 8 words burned in the very front of your brain while you tried to sleep, escape from the aching pain.

# - Thursday - 05.30 a.m. - U.A. Class 1-A dorm building - #

You had been wide awake for the past 30 minutes, distracting yourself by getting ready. Brushing your hair, getting dressed in your uniform and doing whatever was left to do. Your appetite was small, but your stomach still craved some food. You opened the door and stepped out, rubbing your tired eyes. You followed the other few classmates on your hall to the elevator.

“Good-morning y/n…” You looked to your right to see Ashido yawning, dark circles under her eyes. “Good-morning Ashido-. Didn’t you sleep?” She leaned back and stretched her arms, her shirt rising a little as the elevator continued moving down slowly. “Not much-, Bakugo was throwing around with stuff all night! Mr. Aizawa had to tell him to keep it down and go to bed. Nobody knows what’s going on with him right now.” She yawned again after finishing off. A little sting poked you in your chest as she spoke before the elevator let out another ‘ding!’. The door opened, revealing Katsuki, Izuku, Tenya and Eijiro at the table. You and Ashido walked towards the table, and both sat down. You sat down beside Tenya, as far away from Katsuki as possible, which was odd. Very odd. Katsuki was frowning more as usual before he angrily got up from the table and violently grabbing his tray of breakfast. You avoided eye contact at all costs. You looked at the tray of food Tenya had pushed towards you. You looked up to see everybody at the table looking at you with various different expressions. Worry, confusion and awaiting. “y/n… What happened?” You looked at Tenya as he spoke. You poked to your food, the appetite you had earlier suddenly disappearing. “Nothin’.” You mumbled before standing up, holding your tray with weak hands. You left the table to the kitchen.

You froze in your tracks as you saw Katsuki in his usual black shirt with the white print on. He was holding his empty tray in his hands as the unfinished food was thrown in the nearest bin. He glared at you before tossing the tray on the counter and leaving the room. You looked after him, tears prickling and threating to escape from your tear-bags. You placed your full tray on the counter before walking back to the common area. Those moments that felt like hours in the kitchen was just a few minutes. Within those minutes, Katsuki had left the dorm and just about everyone else was up and eating. Walking towards the shoe racks, you picked up your shoes and slipped them on. You stepped out the door, already feeling the early morning cold from December. You stepped onto the road leading towards the school and started walking.

"y/n! Wait up!-" You looked behind you, seeing, once again, Eijiro running towards you while clumsily putting on his shoes. "Eijiro?..." You voice was sore from barely talking this morning. Usually, you get along with Tsu and Ashido pretty well, Yaoyorozu too.

Eijiro caught up to you as you both started walking. "Did you hear Bakubro yesterday?" He looked at you, adjusting hid headband. You shook your head. "No. Ashido told me about how Mr. Aizawa had to stop it." You were mumbling, you never mumbled around people like Eijiro. "Hm.. He'll get better. How are you feeling today? Did you get sleep yesterday?" You both reached the front of the school. He opened the door for you as you, once again, shook your head. "Hard time falling asleep?" You nodded at his question as he walked in behind you. "Do you need to talk about anything? I suck at advice but I'm always here to listen!" You nodded, smiling a little bit. You truly were grateful for people who checked up on you like Eijiro did. You both entered the empty classroom.

"Where's Bakubro?" Eijiro looked around, frowning in confusion. "I think her went for a walk or something like that. I don't know, he didn't tell me..." You dozed off as you sat down in your seat. "Tenya should be here soon." You stated as Eijiro sat down, leaning back in his seat. "Tenya is so manly! Taking responsibility to keep the class in line!" You nodded as Eijiro continued to ramble about manliness. Soon, the class was filled up, even Katsuki had shown up.

You were laid over your desk, looking up towards Mr. Aizawa as he spoke. Another practice day. The costumes slid out the wall, everybody standing up to grab their case with their costume.

# - Thursday - 08.27 a.m. - U.A. Gym Gamma - #

"Wow, y/n! Did you choose a new color scheme? It matches Bakugo's!" You looked down at yourself as Ashido, Kamanari and Tokoyami admired your new costume. You nodded at their questions. "I did. I don't know if he likes it." You were mumbling again. Kamanari opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Cementoss.

"Alright, everybody. Pair up in two and try improve your quirks." Everybody nodded and paired up in two. Mezo walked up to you, kindly asking if you wanted to pair up. You nodded as you both walked to one of the platforms. Using you quirk, you made your way up to the platform along with Mezo.

# - Thursday - 10.58 a.m. - U.A. Gym Gamma - #

"T-Ten-... Tentacole-..." You crouched forward, your lungs hurting as you gasped for air. "I-I need a break." Mezo immediately stopped his movements as he noticed your shaking limps. "y/n? Are you okay?-" He runs to you, helping you sit down. "Shit..." Your head started spinning as your breathing became uneven. You could feel Mezo's multiple arms wrap around you to support you.

"LOOK AT ME WHEN WE'RE FIGHTING, SHITTY HAIR!" Eijiro looked away from you and towards Bakugou who was flying towards him. He quickly shielded himself and hardened his arms. "WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU CAN'T LOOK AT ME?" he screamed as he dodged one of Eijiro's hits. He looked away again, Bakugou taking his chance to land a hit on Eijiro. "y/n-" Eijiro fell back as he kept his eyes locked on your small form being supported in Mezo's arms. "y/n? WHAT ABOUT HER?!" Bakugou was furious, letting out all the anger from the night before. He looked around, finding it weird for shitty hair to talk so much about you. His eyes widened as he saw you, knowing what was happening to you just now. He quickly took off in a run. "Y/N!"

You looked up weakly, seeing Katsuki flying towards you. "Katsuki..." You let out a small cry as you tried calming down your breath. Your vision started blurring. "y/n! Squidward get away from her!" Mezo knew better than to talk back. He looked at you before slowly letting go of you as Katsuki ran to you, gently picking you up and into his embrace. "Are you mad?! What the fuck happened-" He didn't look worried but you knew he was. The glint in his eyes showed it. "y/n- breathe. Did you drink and eat? Of course you didn't- you left as soon as you saw me, you little dipshit." He grumbled under his breath as the others started to notice Bakugo screams fading. He picked you up and jumped down, running towards a place to put you down. Cementoss approached you both but you vision was failing you right now.

"What happened?" He looked at the two of you. "She's having a panic attack. Water." Katsuki sat down with you, holding you close. "I'm sorry, firecracker-. I shouldn't have said that-" He held you closer as Cementoss walked out to get you some water. "It's okay-" "No shut up. It's not. Don't fucking say anything." He growls at you as he sits down, leaning against the gym wall and laying you between his legs. He ripped off his big hand gear and threw them beside you both before propping you up against his chest. "Breathe. Breathe you dumb-ass-" he took a deep breath as you tried to follow his breathing pattern. "It's okay. I got you. I won't let anyone, not me either, hurt you." He was whispering now, gently caressing your arm. Cementoss returned with a bottle of water. Katsuki quickly grabbed the bottle and ripped the cap off before gently helping you chug down the water. "We'll wait till lunch. Cementoss, the time." He looked at Cementoss. "It's 11.47. Lunch is in about 15 minutes." Katsuki nodded before he looked back at you. You were blinking slowly, your breathing back to normal now as he lowly talked to you.

"It's okay. I got you. And I'm not letting go of you again, never."

[puckinghell]

Why (Won’t You Love Me) | Elias Pettersson

Summary: Time and time again, Elias watches you get your heart broken by guys who aren’t worth your effort, and he just can’t help but wonder why you can’t love him instead.  Words: 3,5k Note: Based on the 5sos song with the same name. 

--

There’s a glow on the pavement, fresh from the rain. Dark clouds are still packed together in the sky when they arrive at the plane, but the rain is mere drizzle now, and Elias doesn’t bother with an umbrella as he hauls his bag over his shoulder.

Brock, of course, has the hood of his jumper pulled tight around his face, and he looks absolutely miserable. Normally Elias would tease him – probably something about his hair – but today he’s not in the mood.

He’s pretty miserable himself.

“Petey, hey.” Brock runs to catch up to him, as they approach the plane. Elias should’ve known Brock would notice: his best friend always seems to know when he shouldn’t be alone. “What’s up, dude?”

Elias huffs out an indignant sound that’s not resembling any English words, and not really any Swedish ones, either. He pulls his eyebrows together in a frown and makes a frustration motion with his hand.

“Y/N…” he says, your name falling off his lips a little rough. “She’s having guy trouble.”

“Ah,” Brock says, like he understands. He probably does.

It’s not the first time Elias is in a mood because of your ‘guy trouble’.

Now it’s not really fair to you, he knows that. You’re not actually aware of the fact that you’re hurting him, by talking about other guys, so he can’t hold it against you.

It’s just…

“Why won’t she love me?” he finally says, as they stand in front of the stairs to the plane, waiting for the others to go in first.

There’s no use pretending, not with Brock. Brock knows him better than anyone and he knows how far gone for you Elias is, how much it hurts that you don’t feel the same way. 

Brock shrugs. “She loves you,” he says, but he doesn’t sound quite so sure.

“Not like that.” Elias can’t help sounding a little mopey, and Brock slaps his hard across the back to show his support, in the way that bros do, sometimes.

“Sorry, man,” he says, and he sounds genuinely remorseful.

Elias met you right after he arrived in Vancouver, and he knows it’s cliché to say, but he immediately knew that you were it for him. You made him laugh with some snarky remark at a rude customer in the coffee shop, and that was it. He was sold.

It’s not become anything but friendship, though. And sure, it’s a friendship Elias holds dear to his heart, but he’s not afraid to admit he’s always wanted it to be more. It’s just, he’s never been able to find the words to tell you that.

In the beginning, he blamed his lack of English, but now he knows it’s just you.

You render him speechless. When you look at him with bright eyes, when you say his name. And whenever he thinks about telling you, and thinks about the look of pity on your face and how you would say “Elias…” like you’re the bearer of bad news, he feels like his throat has swollen to the point where talking is impossible.

So he says nothing. But he hates himself for it, every time you sit on his couch and tell him about your failed dating endeavours.  

He sits down and takes his phone, to put it on airplane mode. Brock is humming under his breath next to him, and it’s distracting enough that he nearly misses the text notification.

Nearly, but not quite.

Sorry for crying on your shoulder again the text reads.

Elias thinks back to last night, when you’d showed up at his apartment, nearly in tears because the guy you’d gone on a few dates with had cancelled your date and said he’d rather be friends.

“When they say that, they never actually wanna be friends, Petey,” you’d sighed, your bottom lip trembling.

And he’d pulled you inside, parked you on the couch and made you tea, and then you’d watched MasterChef together, your body curled into his, until you weren’t so sad anymore.

He always tried everything to stop you from being sad, and he usually succeeded, too. Taking care of you is one of the things he’s best at, in his opinion. 

“I guess finding a decent guy to love around here is just too much to ask,” you’d said, after at least an hour of comfortable silence. “Well, at least I’ve got you, right?”

And Elias had to bite his lip so hard he can still feel where it’s sore, only to stop himself from asking:

Why won’t you love me, instead?

He stares at your text now. Behind it, his background is still visible: a picture of him and you, that he likes to look at when the road is a little too lonely.

“You gotta turn it off, Pete,” Brock says, and that’s when Elias notices the plane is already about to take off.

He quickly texts back “No worries” and switches his phone to airplane mode. The glass of the little round window is cold against his cheek when he leans against it.

It’s gonna be a long road trip.

--

The bar isn’t busy, but there’s a constant hum of chatter around you, and you try to use that to quiet your mind.

It doesn’t really work.

You’re a few drinks in, and there’s tears burning behind your eyes.

Normally, you would’ve called Elias. But now you don’t feel like you should, anymore.

Elias has been different, since he got back from what felt like the longest road trip in history. He’s been dodging your calls, not texting as much, and you have only seen him once since he got back a week ago, which is not normal for you two.

If you knew why he’s been avoiding you, you could fix it.

But you have no idea.

“Excuse me, can I borrow this chair?” a voice asks. A girl has her hand on the empty chair opposite you, and she smiles at you when you look up.

You open your mouth: something inside of you says no, but you know that’s ridiculous. This is a table for one, tonight.

“Sure.”

It’s not like that guy is gonna show up three hours after he was supposed to.

It’s not your supposed-to-be-date, that you’re thinking about though. Maybe you should be sad about him, because he just stood you up, but instead you’re thinking back to the last time you saw Elias, when he’d just come back. They had won two out of three road games, so he’d been in a good mood, and when you went to his house for pizza and Netflix he’d been chatty and filled with laughter all evening.

His good mood dimmed, when you mentioned you had a date planned.

“Do you know this guy?” he’d asked, and there was a hint of judgement in his voice that instantly got you defensive.

“No, my friend set us up,” you said. “But it’s not like I have a choice, Elias. Time is slipping away from me, and I can’t just sit here and wait for the love of my life to show up while everyone is getting married. It’s no fun being lonely.”

“No,” Elias had said, a strange look on his face. “It’s not fun.”

You would’ve asked him what he meant by that – surely he wasn’t lonely, being Elias Pettersson in Vancouver – but there was something about him that stopped you.

For the first time since you met him, it felt like there was a wall up between you, and it felt like for every stone the wall was made off there was a matching stone in the pit of your stomach.

It felt like you did something wrong, but you can’t put your finger on what. You hadn’t lied to him, although it hadn’t quite been the full truth either. You can’t tell him the full truth, because the full truth is too pathetic.

The full truth, of course, being that when your other best friend Liza got engaged, you realized that everyone had someone, except for you. You just had Elias, and that has always been enough: until you sat there staring at the giant diamond on Liza’s finger and realized that Elias was never going to feel that way about you.

He’s your best friend, and although you’d want him to be everything, if he was interested in more, he would’ve done something by now. And so you decided you had to stop waiting for someone who would never love you like that, and find someone who would. 

You haven’t found that person, yet, and you haven’t gotten over Elias either. 

You look at your phone now. It’s 2am, and you probably shouldn’t call him, but…

But it’s Elias. He’s your best friend and you know he cares for you, even if he is mad about something.

You just got stood up, and it’s late, and you’ve had a bit too much to drink, and you don’t really want to have to walk yourself home…

“You can always call me if you need anything,” Elias said all the time. “Even in the middle of the night.”

So you call him.

There’s no answer. There’s no answer the next time, or the next, either. 

You throw some money on the table. It’s time to take yourself home: after all, you’ve always been able to take care of yourself. There’s no reason for this burning feeling behind your eyes. 

He’s just a friend.

The next morning, there’s two texts waiting for you when you wake up.

3 missed calls? Everything OK?

Sorry I missed them. Have to go to practice now, talk later.

There’s no smileys, no familiar XO’s that Elias has been using since Brock forced him to watch Gossip Girl, no love you at the end.

So that’s how you know something is really wrong.

--

Creating some distance between you is harder than Elias had thought.

“She hates me,” he grumbles. It’s probably not the right time to do this, in the middle of practice, but he’s been distracted and since this is all Brock’s fault, he figures he should just say that.

“She doesn’t,” Brock says. “Also, how is this my fault?”

Elias leans on his stick. They’re both waiting until it’s their turn to do the drill. Jake skates past, shoots on Marky. Scores.

“You said I needed some distance. You said to put my phone on airplane mode every now and then. Last night she called me three times and I didn’t answer, and now she hates me.”

Brock rolls his eyes, ever so slightly: but enough for Elias to see, and he glares at his best friend.

He feels a little vindicated when Brock flushes red and shuffles a little away from Elias.

“Look, bud, I said that because you’ve been miserable.” Brock’s face is gentle. “But since this is clearly not working, have you thought about just talking to her?”

He has thought about that. A lot.

“Absolutely not,” Elias says. “She’s not interested in me, she’s made that clear by dating half of Vancouver.”

Brock laughs. “I didn’t know Vancouver had 6 people living in it.”

“Shut up.” But there’s no heat behind it, and Brock shuffles closer again.

“Petey.” He sounds remorseful. “You haven’t scored even once today. And Marky’s not even trying. You need to fix this.”

At that moment, his name gets called, so Elias shoves Brock aside and skates up to the puck, taking it with him towards the goal.

He shoots wide.

Fuck. Maybe he does have to do something about this.

Elias may have decided he needs to talk to you, but he sure as hell doesn’t have to do it right now. He’s allowed to go home and get changed first, because he’s not going to confess his love and get his heart broken while wearing a Canucks tracksuit.

Unfortunately, it ends up not really being his choice, because when he walks into the hallway of his apartment you’re sitting on the floor, leaning against his front door.

Elias stops dead at the end of the hallway.

You’re doing something on your phone, not noticing him right away. You look tired, and your hair is a mess, and it squeezes something in Elias’ heart.

You look… kinda like shit, and whereas Elias knows he probably doesn’t look much better himself, it’s worse when it’s you.

Suddenly, guilt washes over him like a tidal wave. You needed him last night, and he wasn’t there for you. It was 2 am when you called him: you could’ve been anywhere, anything could’ve happened, you could’ve gotten hurt.

Suddenly he’s walking, faster and faster, until he reaches you.

You look up, and when you see him, there’s a small smile curling at the edge of your lips. But you don’t look happy, and Elias’ worry only intensifies.

“Hey,” he says, reaching out his hand. You let him help you pull you to your feet, but then you drop his hand right away.

It stings.

“Can I come in?” you ask. Your voice is small and you’re fretting with the edge of your shirt.

“Of course.” Elias opens the door, lets you walk in first. Normally, you would kick off your shoes at the door and throw yourself on his couch, or immediately dive head first into his fridge. You don’t do that now, and it’s wrong: everything feels wrong, and Elias hates it.

If he could make it go back to the way it was, he would do anything for it to stay that way. He would ignore his feelings, he would push them away. He would answer the phone.

He wouldn’t hurt you like this.

“Are you okay?” he blurts out. He regrets it instantly, because your face falls even more.

He should’ve eased into it. He should’ve let you say what you came to say, first.

“I’m so sorry for not answering the phone,” he continues, helplessly, because you’re not saying anything and the silence is too much for him to take. “I put my phone on airplane mode and I shouldn’t have done that, you needed me and I should’ve been there for you and…”

“Elias.” Your voice is soft, but stern. Your hand reaches out, fingers curling around his wrist. “Calm down. I’m fine, nothing happened last night.”

Something heavy dissolves in the pit of Elias’ stomach, and for the first time that day, he feels like he can breathe.

“I’m just…” you pause, sigh. Then you stand a little taller, something determined settling over your features. “I just want to know what I did wrong.”

“Huh?” Elias can imagine he must be staring at you pretty blankly, but he truly just doesn’t get it. “What you did wrong?”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t play dumb. I know you’re mad at me. So tell me what I did wrong, so I can fix it.”

Elias can feel it: the energy shifting in the room. There’s something harsh in your eyes, and he knows you came here looking for resolve as much as you came here looking for a fight.

Fighting, he figures, is a way to feel things, too. But he’s not about to let you do that to yourself, especially when it’s his fault. 

“Y/N,” he says, softly, and then he shakes his wrist out of your grip and takes your hand in his, instead. Your hand is cold, skin soft, and he immediately decides he wants to hold your hand for the rest of his life. “Come sit with me.”

You let him lead you to the couch, and sit down next to him, body turned away from his.

Once again, you’re sitting on his couch, on the verge of tears. But it’s different, this time. You’re not crying over guys that aren’t worth your time, you’re crying over him, over Elias, and he has to fix this one even more than he did all the other times.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Elias starts. This time, you don’t fight him on it. “It’s me, actually. I think I did something wrong.”

You look up. There’s a hint of fear in your eyes when you ask: “What?”

Elias sighs. It’s hard, to get out the words, even harder than he was worried about. He doesn’t know what to say, how to say it, or how to make you understand.

“I made a mistake,” he says, carefully. “I thought I needed some time away from you, but that wasn’t right.”

“Away from me?” The look of hurt on your face doesn’t pass by Elias. “Why?”

“Why?” Elias repeats. “Because it’s too hard sometimes. It’s too hard to hear you talking about all these guys you’re dating, and how they always hurt or disappoint you.”

Your eyes are fixed on the floor. “I don’t mean to be a bother,” you mutter.

“You’re not, that’s not what I meant.” Elias takes another breath. There’s something about the way you’re sitting here, shoulders hunched, arms wrapped around yourself, that gives him the courage to say: “You talk about them, but you always come back to me.”

You look up at him, eyes swimming with questions.

“Whatever guy you’re with, no matter how lonely you say you are, how many dates you go on; you always end up coming back here, to hang out on my couch. Why?”

“I mean,” you start, then stop yourself.

Are you really gonna tell him?

You think back to months ago, when Liza had asked you to picture your perfect guy.

“I can’t set you up if I don’t know what you want,” she’d said. “So, close your eyes, and picture yourself happy, in the future. You’ve got a house, and a dog, and a job. You’ve got a partner. What do you picture when you think of the partner?”

Elias. 

You hadn’t said it, you’d said something about blond hair and kind eyes and someone who always makes you laugh, but you’re not dumb enough to deny that it was Elias that you were describing to her. That you pictured, when you closed your eyes, an alternate reality in which Elias was yours and you were his.

But you clearly can’t say that to Elias, because he’s not interested in you like this, and you don’t want to ruin this friendship. Not when it means the most to you. 

You’d give anything to be able to hold onto Elias, and have him hold onto you. 

So you say nothing, just stare at Elias’ hand, which has come to rest on your thigh. His fingers are long, slender, and you miss the feeling of them tangled with your own. You wonder if you could get away with grabbing his hand, every now and then, just as friends. 

“Y/N,” Elias repeats, and this time he sounds a little desperate. “You’re always saying you’re lonely, and you want someone to love you, and you need a decent guy, and I don’t know what you’re waiting for but…”

I’m waiting for you, you think.  

“But I’m right here.” Elias sits up a little straighter. There’s determination in his eyes, a quiet conviction that he usually reserves for hockey. “I’m right here, and I’m a decent guy, and I love you, so why won’t you love me?”

Time freezes.

You’re pretty sure if Elias had a clock you could look at, you’d find the hands of the clock not moving. If you looked outside, the cars would be stationary, the birds would be frozen in the air.

But Elias isn’t frozen. He’s somehow closer than he was before, and he’s moving closer, still.

“Stop me,” he whispers. “Stop me if you don’t want…” He doesn’t finish his sentence.

Doesn’t have to, really.

Because there’s a million things running through your mind, things like because I’m scared and he loves me and we’ve wasted so much time but at the end of the day they all lead to one single conclusion.

It’s him. It’s always been him.

So you launch forward, crash your lips against his in a feverish desperation to finally, finally make it right. He moves back from the force of it, but then his arms are wrapped around you and he’s pulling you closer, into his lap.

He slows down the kiss, softens it. The way he kisses you has your toes curling in your shoes, your heart beating in your throat, because he kisses you like no one has ever really kissed you before.

He kisses you like he loves you.

When you pull away, gasping for air, Elias’ eyes are soft when they lock with yours.

“Yeah?” he asks, and it’s hesitant, careful, like he’s still waiting for you to close the metaphorical door in his face, to take his heart and break it in two.

“I thought it wasn’t possible,” you admit. “I thought you would never want this.”

“Always,” Elias mumbles, and he leans a bit closer, presses a kiss against your jaw. “I’ve always wanted this.”

Always. He’s always wanted this and you were both too dumb to see it, both too dumb to connect the dots. You can’t believe you lost so much time, and you can’t believe it took so long.

Why did it take so long?

“Why didn’t I…” you start, but Elias cuts you off, kissing you once more. Gentle and short, this time, but still just as loving.

“It doesn’t matter,” he says. “What matters is that I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you say, and you bury your face in the crook of his neck, allow yourself to press your lips to his collarbone.

Maybe the why, or the how, or the when, doesn’t really matter in the end. Maybe it’s about the happy ever after.

And you think you found that, now.

[pearl-star]

Two Way Link

When Marinette cracks and gets akumatized, it’s not what she’s expecting. Hawkmoth is equally confused and more worried than she is. Turns out the mindlink is a two way streak, and her earrings make the link even stronger. Needless to say, some secrets got revealed.

Marinette had allowed herself to imagine herself as an akuma before. It was kind of hard not to when their class started bets for if Marinette or Adrien would get akumatized first. It also didn’t help after seeing Chat Noir’s akumazation first hand. If she ever got akumatized, Hawkmoth wouldn’t win. Oh No. The world would be in ruins. So if it wasn’t already an obvious goal, Marinette made it her mission to never even let a butterfly touch her. Of course she’s only human, and when she’s sleep deprived and dealing with a lot of extra stress her emotions run rampant. Not only did she deal with both night and day akumas for the past week, she also had extra work planning the fundraising events and the school trip. Include all her requests from her friends for different things and her regular school work, Marinette was already at her breaking point. Top it off with a couple idiotic stories from Rossi while the girl would slip in comments dissing the bluenette, and you got the recipe for a perfect akuma victim.

Marinette wasn’t even in the right headspace to try to hold off her emotions. She simply nursed her large cup of coffee, that may or may not be the 6th cup of the day, as she stewed in her seat. Why was her class a bunch of idiots? Like Marinette cared for them still, don’t get her wrong, but they hanged off her every word like it was air. Why didn’t they get curious and do a little research of their own? It would have saved everyone the trouble. And Adrien’s dumb high road advice would do more harm than good. He’s worried about Lila getting akumatized? Try the whole class when the truth gets out. Of course, Marientte had almost been akumatized because of Lila. Maybe she should have slipped that into her conversation with Adrien. That might have changed his mind. It didn’t matter much now though. She had just begun to speak normally around him. He might think that Marinette was lying about it to make him see her way, and that wasn’t a risk she was willing to take.

No one even noticed the butterfly coming into the room. It was only noticed when it landed on the coffee cup that Marinette held and the glowing mask appeared on her face. Very quickly, the class turned around and stared at their class rep. Marinette merely blinked a few times before groaning. “Really!? Come on! I was doing so good until now. Okay, you know what, fine. You want to akumatized me? Whatever. Just put the butterfly somewhere other than my coffee. I need that if I’m going to make it through today. You’re to blame for this, by the way. You couldn’t have just stopped with the akumas for the day could you. I mean one a day is bad enough. Why did you have to do two in one day? And at, like, 2am dude? Really?” Hawkmoth was just confused as the rest of her class. Marinette’s face scrunched up before her jaw dropped. “WAIT! GABRIEL AGRESTE!? YOU’RE HAWKMOTH!!?” The class paused before freaking out. Hawkmoth paled. He didn’t even get time to do his monologue before the girl started to speak out at him. As he started to reading deeper into her thoughts, he realized something. “You’re… Ladybug?” He was honestly surprised that this clumsy girl could possibly be Ladybug. Marinette just scowled. “Oh stop. I can feel your judgment from here. It’s a secret identity for a reason. Of course I’ll act differently with magical jewelry. Except, you don’t act too different than you do in real life. Maybe treat your son better, will you? He needs to have a backbone for when Rossi and Cholé drape themselves over him.” Cholé gasped and Lila tried to turn the tale but Marinette continued.

“I’ll give Cholé the benefit of the doubt since she had been childhood friends with him, but what Lila’s doing is bordering of sexual harassment. And you employed her as a model too. Like do you even care about you own son’s mental well-being?” Gabriel made the mistake of thinking about Lila and Marinette’s face shifted from shock to neutral. “Okay, so you made her spy on Adrien and report back to you as well as cause akumas. Got it. And that’s an interesting fact about her willingly getting akuamtized. Too bad my class has become too ignorant to realize that every word she says is nothing more than bull crap.” Hawkmoth, Gabriel, should have tried to rein her in. However when he tried it, magic was interfering. It was something that Nooroo had warned him about once before when he expressed the desire to akumatized Ladybug or Chat Noir. They would naturally have more resistance to him, especially Ladybug since her powers balanced for good and becoming evil would take drastic measures. Before he could try to act, the girl spoke again. “Oh, it’s nice to know that you at least let Nooroo talk. Seriously, I forgot about that whole Sandboy fiasco for a second. You couldn’t have at least allowed Nooroo to enjoy his whatever number cycle in peace. You had to traumatize so many people by creating their nightmares.” No one noticed as Adrien slipped away to transform.

Plagg flew out of his pocket and had the audacity to be laughing. “What is so funny?!” He demanded. Marinette was akumatized! Not only that, but she was Ladybug. Ladybug was akumatized and the akuma won’t be purified. Nor would any of the damage be reversed. Not to mention that his own dad was apparently Hawkmoth. Plagg caught his breath and was able to speak. “I’m sorry, but it’s too funny! This love square you guys had going on was great entertainment already. Top that with what Spots is doing and it’s gold.” Adrien decided to ignore what Plagg was saying for now and transform instead. While he was doing that, Marinette decided to discover something very important: what Gabriel’s motivation was.

Marinette clamped a hand to her mouth as she pulled the memory from his mind. Then that shock turned to hot rage. “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?” ALL THIS TIME YOU HAVE KEPT YOUR WIFE IN A GLASS COFFIN IN YOUR FUCKING BASEMENT LAIR?!?” Hawkmoth actually flinched from the raw power and anger she emanated. He made the mistake of recalling the peacock miraculous, setting the girl off on another tangent. “AND YOU’RE ALLOWING NATHALIE TO USE A BROKEN MIRACULOUS?!? Wow! Just, Wow!” Maybe if he detransformed and left now, he wouldn’t have to face the girl’s wrath. Nooroo’s powers allowed them to feel the strength of a person’s emotions. Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s emotions showed that even without powers or a miraculous, she would kill him with her bare hands. If he was told a day before that she would be capable of murder, he would never have believed it. Now though, he was scared.

It was at that time that Chat Noir decided to bust in. He was both shocked and impressed that Marinette was still holding out. Maybe if he destroyed the object now she won’t be transformed. Of course would that negatively effect her somehow? Before he could ponder it longer, the girl in question acted first. “You better meet me in front of your mansion and give me both the butterfly and peacock miraculous. You also better fire Rossi and put a restraining order on her so she can’t touch Adrien again. Otherwise this cup will be replaced with your neck.” Marinette crushed the cup with her hand and the butterfly flew out. Standing up, she called on her transformation before her kwami could protest. She swiped the akuma out from the air and looked around. The whole class was quite. Lila didn’t even try to say anything, and in fact she shrunk under her stare. “Alrighty then. Time to go kitty.” She walked calmly out of the room, ignoring everything that just had happened. Chat paused before following her.

Back in his lair, Gabriel detransformed from shock. Nooroo tried to hide his smirk. Wordlessly, he went back into the main part of his house and approached Natalie. She looked confused. “What’s wrong? I thought you were finally akuamtizing Miss Dupain-Cheng?” Gabriel just shook his head and held his hand out. He was slightly shaking. “Just give me the peacock miraculous. Turns out, she’s a lot more dangerous than expected.” Natalie wanted to question her boss, but he seemed to be in shock. She did as asked and followed him as he walked out the front doors of the mansion. Outside was a smiling Ladybug and a concerned Chat Noir. Ladybug’s smile looked dangerous, like she was giving a warning. When Gabriel willingly handed over both miraculouses, Ladybug laughed. A dangerous sweetness dripping out. “Thank you! Also you better be honest with what you’re wife was doing with the miraculous when the police question you. I’ll see if the damage can be undone without the potential for ending the world. Oh also I will be taking your son away. He deserves better parents and I’m sure that mine will spoil him. Chat you take his assistant, I’ll grab him. It’s time to drop them off.” Chat grabbed Natalie and had her over his shoulder before she could react. Ladybug did the same to Gabriel, ensuring that neither could make a grab for their miraculouses.

A lot of things happened on that day. Hawkmoth and Mayura were announced to be defeated. Gabriel confessed to having Lila work for him both as a spy and as a willing accomplish for Hawkmoth. Adrien’s mom was brought to a hospital and Master Fu repaired the peacock miraculous and reversed the damage done to both her and Natalie. Lila was taken off to serve time in juvie and the two adults went to jail. Adrien was not to blame and was unofficially adopted by Marinette’s parents, which resulted in him spending a lot of time at the bakery. Adrien’s mom and Gabriel both revealed how she was forced into the marriage and forced to use the miraculous against her will. She got a divorce and ensured that Adrien got therapy. He was able to quit modeling and even got a restraining order against Lila just in case. He revealed himself to Marinette after a month and they decided to date. Her class did everything to make it up to the bluenette, but she merely shrugged at their words. She could care less now. They only wanted her to be their friend again because she was Ladybug. She and Chat announced their retirement to Paris two weeks after Hawkmoth’s defeat, although she still got to see Tikki and Plagg. It seemed like getting akumatized was the best thing that had happened to her.

[floralseokjin]

;good2me (m)

Hoseok has been your friend and one of your roommates for over a year. That’s fine by you. In fact, most of the time he’s getting on your last nerve, even though you love him half to death. He’d agree. But soon you both find out there’s a very thin line between friendship and potential lovers... Are you prepared to cross it? 

pairing; jung hoseok x reader (slight kim seokjin x reader)  genre/warnings; friends to lovers (idiots to lovers), roommate au, bartender! hoseok, romance, bearable angst, a small infidelity, some mature content, implied smut  words; 15,351

author’s note; i started watching new girl again and got inspired by jess and nick’s relationship! Late, but for hoseok’s birthday 🥺💖

“Ohhh!” Hoseok hollered as you walked into the living area, looking up from where he was sat on the couch, flicking through the television. “Mama’s looking sexy!”

“Thank you. She is,” you said, trying to put on your best sexy voice. You did a little spin, before squeezing your cleavage up. “Got a little breast on show. A little booty if I bend over at a ninety degree angle.” You didn’t bend over the whole way, but he got the picture. 

He laughed, genuinely amused. “What is the occasion?” 

Trying to keep your bashful smile away, you failed. Big style. “Seokjin’s taking me out on our very first official date.” 

“Where to? Somewhere fancy no doubt.” 

“It’s a surpriseee.” 

You were giddy. Had been all day. You and Seokjin were finally happening, after all this time. Three months ago it seemed impossible. You had met in a quite unsavoury way, as in, you’d been determined to go out that night and have a one night stand. The one night stand had sure happened, but make that a multiple night stand. 

It was just casual sex for a few weeks. You didn’t know much about one another—more detail would mean this thing would just get deeper, and it was supposed to be the most casual of casual. You had come out of a longterm relationship at the start of the year, nearly 30 and very unsure what to do now when it came to dating. You’d met a couple of guys along the way, but you kept making the same mistake. You kept getting into relationships with them. You were sick of being Serious Sue, you wanted to be Fun Fanny. The nickname wasn’t the most desirable and you quickly stopped announcing that to potential hook ups you found at the bar. (Hoseok said you were giving off vibes you really didn’t want to be giving off.) 

Seokjin was a bit of a closed book back then, you didn’t know his story, why he wanted to keep things so casual. The guy was super sweet, really attentive and amazing in bed, but you didn’t pry. He hadn’t asked for your history, so you didn’t ask for his. Until you found out he was a doctor. A kid’s doctor. Or if you wanted to be official, a paediatrician. The dude was actually perfect, and that’s how you started to fall. 

It didn’t end well. When you confessed your feelings and implied you wanted more, he took off. He was sorry about it, apologised profusely, but he still left. You were heartbroken. But not just because of the rejection. It was because you’d fucked up again, wanted something serious, even though you’d sworn this thing with Seokjin was just a hook up. 

You managed to shake your dark mood, but you couldn’t shake the fact it felt like Seokjin was the one that got away. The one who was husband material if the situation had been different. It still felt like that nearly two months later when you ran into him at a Christmas party. However, to your surprise, he came at you with a thousand apologies. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d let go. He couldn’t concentrate the regret was so deep. He’d just come out of a shitty relationship when he’d met you, he’d gotten hurt and the idea of getting into a fresh relationship so soon had half frightened him to death. But the truth was he really liked you and wanted to be with you. He wanted something serious now, but he totally understood if you told him where to go. 

You very nearly did. You’d put your heart on the line once and he’d stomped all over it. Maybe it was just the stubbornness in you, seeing as you’d secretly held out for this. You’d needed time to think and Seokjin understood. It was actually Hoseok in the end who’d encouraged you to give it a shot. He knew you were frightened of getting hurt, but you deserved happiness and Seokjin could give that to you. (The dude’s perfect, were his exact words. And rich. Bag him now, before I do.) 

“Well, have a great time,” Hoseok grinned, taking a moment to get another look at you. “You look stunning. He’s gonna be blown away.” 

Your phone dinged in your hand. It was Seokjin, he’d just pulled up. “That’s him now.” Your voice was an unusual pitch. All high and excited. You were nearly at the door when you stopped, remembering what you wanted to tell Hoseok before you’d gotten distracted. You turned back. “Thank you again, Hobi.” 

He groaned. “Quit thanking me. I just gave you my opinion. You’re the one who made the decision.” 

You nodded, smiling softly. You were a broken record by now. “I don’t think I’ll be coming home tonight so don’t wait up.” 

“Ew.” He wrinkled his nose, feigning disgust. “Get out of here!” 

You laughed and opened the door to leave. Yeah, you were big style getting laid tonight. “Have fun with the guys!” You called, managing to get a grunt in reply. 

Living with three males was interesting, to say the least. Definitely not how you imagined seeing in your thirties. But when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. Life had dealt you a lot of lemons (Read: blows. Lemons = blows) these past twelve months. The breakdown of your eight year relationship had resulted in you moving out of the home you shared. Living with your best friend Joy had been fine at first, but it was always a temporary thing in your mind. That’s how you found yourself here, in loft 4a, living with three guys. Your mother had always told you not to trust an ad on Craigslist, but she lived 100 miles away. What she didn’t know wouldn’t harm her. 

There was Hoseok, of course, who you were closest with. It didn’t make any sense, most of the time you were like chalk and cheese. He was hard to read, kind of judge-y on a bad day, but somehow he got you the most. Maybe it was because just before you’d moved in he’d gone through his own similar breakup. Another long term relationship with a woman you’d meant once when she was picking up some of the things she’d left at the loft. You hadn’t known him well back then, but now you did, and you’d seen first-hand what the separation had done to him. It made him insecure. In himself, in his capabilities and in his job. He worked in a bar down the road, had for a few years after he dropped out of law school, and even though he’d never said it outright, you think that was the parting dig Minah, the ex, had left him with when she’d walked out. But despite that, Hoseok could be fun and easy to be around. That’s why you liked him the most. Because he’d always made you feel comfortable. Right from the beginning. 

Next, there was Yoongi. A radio host for the local station in your area. You might think he was aloof if you didn’t know him any better, but the guy was very much similar to a cat. Slight in his affection but that just made it all the more sincere. You’d never forget the time he’d kicked out this lame-o you’d thought you were exclusively dating, when in fact it turned out he was seeing three other girls too. Yoongi found you in tears in the living room, jerkface trying to apologise for the misunderstanding. He was out on his ass in under five seconds. From that night on you knew to call him a friend, much to his chagrin. He was a big softy really, and very loyal. That’s why Joy had fallen for him pretty early on. One introduction, a few weeks later and Bam! They were an item. There went her vow to never date a guy shorter than her. Plus, Yoongi was very smug about dating a model. Thought all his Christmas’ had come at once. But yeah, they were very much in love now. Pretty sickening really…

And last but not least, there was Namjoon. He was the brains of the group. The only one with a master’s degree, and the only one with a “proper” job. A high school science teacher. Well, technically you were a teacher too, but it wasn’t particularly the same when you taught a bunch of adults creative writing. Namjoon was the sensible one. The one who kept the lid on everyone’s antics when they were in fear of getting out of control. Although boy could be erratic when he wanted to be. More often now that the woman he’d been dating on and off for six months had finally ended things. Heartbroken Namjoon was not fun. Nor was the depressing music he played at 2am in the morning. But you were there for him because you loved him. You, Hoseok and Yoongi. 

3 guys, one girl. Best friends until the end, living in loft 4a. 

Ew. It could be a sitcom. 

“I don’t understand why you had to meet me outside,” Hoseok said to you. “I work here, it’s not like this place is new to me.” 

You hummed, not really wanting to answer him, but also severely distracted. It was a good few weeks later now, winter was pretty much over, life had long and resumed after  Christmas. In fact, it was the middle of February and today was Hoseok’s birthday. The last but one of you to turn the dreaded three-oh. You were pretty nervous right now, inside the bar a whole bunch of people ready to celebrate. Hoseok thought it was just you, the guys and Joy joining him for a few drinks… There was minor detail you’d left out and ignored: Hoseok hated surprises.  

Walking through the bar entrance first, leading the way for obvious reasons, you were met with darkness. Hoseok stopped dead behind you, and you heard him mutter oh, god, aghast. Your stomach dropped out of your ass but you flicked on the lights, yelling SURPRISE! with the rest of the partygoers filling the dingy room. 

“Happy 30th birthday, Hobi!” You exclaimed, hugging into him slightly. You pulled back, a grin on your face, eyes wide as you tried to gauge his reaction. He wouldn’t make a scene, surely? You watched with slight dread as he tried to stretch one across his face too. His eyes were piercing though. Piercing into you with complete and utter disbelief. You then watched as he turned his head and addressed his guests. “Thanks, guys. What a lovely surprise…”

Frick. He was definitely using his fake voice. 

.

.

“What is this?” Hoseok hissed at you. He’d finally been able to corner you an hour in, and you stood huddled together by the restrooms. “I told you I didn’t want a big deal. You said it was just going to be a few lowkey drinks at the bar!” 

“It is,” you insisted, before muttering that next part. “Just with an added 20 more people…” 

“I don’t even know half of them!” He looked around the room, and you joined him. 

Okay, you had to admit, after the first five people you’d added to the list it was pretty hard to think of more. In the end you’d had to improvise. Invite acquaintances or just even friends of a friend… You wouldn’t admit that though. “Sure you do,” you shrugged. “There’s Yoongi and Joy.” 

“She’s your best friend.” 

“There’s Namjoon.” 

“They don’t count.” He frustrated. “They were supposed to be here! It was just supposed to be them!” 

“There’s Mrs. Choi from our building–”

“You invited a 60 year old lady to my birthday?” 

She had a soft spot for him. Of course she should be here. “There’s Brian, your-your boss…” You admit by now you were struggling. 

“He’s just here because he works every night.” 

“There’s…” You glanced around again, desperate to see a familiar face of Hoseok’s. Finally, you found someone. “THERE’S NARA!” You shouted pretty loudly, excitement taking over. She drunk at the bar a few nights a week. Hoseok had become a little enamoured. 

He jerked his head in her direction. She was sat in a booth with Yoongi, Joy and Namjoon. The latter chatting away with her. “Oh, my god. You invited Nara?!” 

“Of course I did. You like her.” 

“No, I don’t.” He was quick to refute. “I don’t like her. How do you know I like her?” He was also quick to give in. 

“You find a way to bring her into conversation every single time. Ask Yoongi.” 

He sighed dramatically, rubbing his his temples. “Well, that’s just great. Now she knows I’m 30. She knows I’m old!” 

“Shut up,” you scoffed. “She’s close to 30 too.” 

His head shot up. “You know her age?” 

“Yes. I know a lot about her.” You smirked, feeling powerful. “In the five minute conversation we had while I was inviting her, I found out way more than you have in the past three weeks you’ve been into her.” 

“I like to take my time.” He fumed. You were close to bickering, you could feel it. Hoseok said you were a butt-er in-er. You took control of things that weren’t your job. This was probably a classic example. However, this time around he relented. He wanted in on this info. He lowered his voice, leaning in. “What did you find out?” 

You shrugged, pretty nonchalant. If it wasn’t his birthday you’d make him pay you ten bucks for the facts. “Her surname. Her age. Where she was born. She prefers cats over dogs. LOVE that,” you exclaimed. Hoseok rolled his eyes, speeding you up with hand motions. “She’s only had one serious relationship in her life. Kinda like me. Although, who knows now that me and Seokjin are an item.” 

You found yourself easily on a tangent. Your relationship with Seokjin the biggest distraction in your life right now. Things were going amazing. Just over six weeks in and you were finding that domestic bliss you and your ex never had. 

“I don’t care about your life. I care about mine.” Hoseok rudely interrupted. “What else did you find out?” 

You glared at him but replied. “Not a lot after that. Bottom line is I love her. We’re a lot alike actually.” 

“No, you are not,” he insisted, a little bit of nausea in his face. You knew better than to get offended. “Hey, how did you find this all out in five minutes?” 

You tipped your shoulders. “People feel comfortable around me. They can open up, y’know?” 

He grunted in response, before his eyes widened in horror, thinking of something. “You didn’t tell her I like her, did you?”

“No,” you scoffed. “What do you take me for? An idiot?” The look he gave you was a yes. You rolled your eyes and grabbed him by the shoulders. “You’re going to tell her. Tonight. That’s why I invited her.” 

He swallowed, now looking scared. Talking to girls was never his forte. The last “relationship” he’d had since the big breakup had lasted four weeks. He had a lot to learn. You tapped his back encouragingly and he gave you a tight nod. Damn, maybe he really was about to get his flirty flirt on with this woman. You smiled at him and he looked around the bar one last time, shaking his head with a chuckle as he realised something. “God. You threw me a party at the bar I work at.” 

When would you ever win?! 

.

.

An hour later you were making your way back to the apartment. Hoseok in tow. You wanted to convince yourself it was because you could see the party wasn’t his style at all. You mean, you could see that, but the real reason you were in the elevator right now was because you’d been hit with another, even better idea. In fact, you wished you’d just thought of this first. 

“They’ll be fine back there. They won’t miss you,” you tried to reassure Hoseok, stepping out into the hallway. 

“Gee. That makes me feel so amazing on my birthday. Thank you.” Sarcasm all day, everyday. You didn’t deserve it. “Thank you for gathering a bunch of strangers to celebrate that I am one step closer to death.” 

See? It hadn’t been that hard to get him outside and convince him to walk you home because you were feeling a little lightheaded. It was like taking candy from he baby. Hoseok was dumb. 

“What happened to you?” You glared his way. “The guys always tell me you were so full of life before I moved in.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “I think you’ve answered the question yourself there.” 

You tutted, letting it go over his head. “Thirty is not bad, at all. I turned it a few months ago and I’ve just felt amazing ever since.” 

“You cried all day.” 

Goddamnit. “They were happy tears. Now,” you changed the subject, because yes, he was calling you out, but also he was pulling out his key, about to let himself in. You pushed him to the side, grabbing yours from your purse. “Just let me go do it,” you announced loudly. Almost like you wanted someone to hear you. “Just getting my key. Pushing it in the lock.” You continued the description. “Arriving home!” 

“What are you doing? What’s going on?” He was bound to be suspicious. You weren’t exactly being discreet. 

“Nothing.” You shook your head, now pushing the door open. 

“Nothing? I—

“SURPRISE!” 

Hoseok didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence, door swinging open to reveal the guys. Namjoon pushed forward to slip a ’30 Years Old’ banner over his head, and he had the audacity to glare at you. 

“I specifically said don’t make this birthday a big deal and instead you throw me TWO surprise parties in the span of a couple hours.” He was in disbelief. “Don’t you listen to a word I say?!” 

“This is a better one though.” You whined. “The one I originally should’ve planned. It’s just friends.” 

“Hi again,” a little voice sounded from behind Namjoon. 

“And Nara.” You grinned, watching Hoseok’s face light up a little. “See Nara came. I invited Nara.” Success. Namjoon had followed instructions. Get the woman into the apartment. 

Hoseok finally smiled at you, stepping inside the loft. “Nara came! Hi, Nara!”  You’d take that as his seal of approval then. This place was much better for getting to know her. He’d failed miserably at the bar, you wouldn’t allow it here. You were going to play matchmaker tonight. 

“Baby!” 

The sound of Seokjin’s voice in the hall distracted you, and you shrieked a little when you saw him walking towards you, dressed in all black. “Yay, Seokjin! You made it.” He hugged you straight away, landing a kiss on your lips. 

“We managed to get someone else in for the night. I escaped.” He cheered, still holding your waist as he turned his head towards Hoseok. “Happy Birthday, man.” 

“Thanks, Jin,” he smiled, before shooting a misplaced compliment. “You’re looking very handsome. As always.” 

You rolled your eyes, laughing a little as Seokjin pulled a confused face at you. “Ignore him, he’s already a little buzzed.” You still didn’t understand Hoseok’s obsession with your boyfriend’s looks. But the guy wasn’t wrong, Seokjin did indeed look very handsome tonight. As always. 

You glanced around the room, Yoongi and Joy had managed to put up some balloons and a banner in record time after you’d frantically text them the plan half an hour ago. Alcohol stood on the dining table, a few snacks in bowls. Definitely Joy’s doing. You clapped your hands. “Music please! Let’s get this party started!” 

The room erupted into cheers. 

.

.

“Okay, I have an idea,” you yelled into the room. It was over an hour in now. This party was popping, much better than the one happening in bar you bet. You were drunk. Not wasted or anything, but definitely merry. “Let’s play spin the bottle!” 

You’d already played Pass the Balloon, thinking of games from when you were a teenager in desperation as you tried to hook Hoseok and Nara up. The balloon one was going well until Namjoon and her had found themselves in some difficulty. Then it was just a wasted ten minutes as you watched them fail to give in. At least Joon was having fun though, it had been a while since you’d seen him have fun, let alone laugh. 

“We’re not in high school,” Hoseok grumbled from beside you.

Nara piped up from the kitchen. “I think’ll be fun.” 

“Yeah. Yeah. Cool.” Hoseok soon changed his tune. “I think it’ll be fun too. Cool.” 

“Great!” You took the bottle Seokjin had been drinking from and swigged the last bit much to his amusement. You hadn’t told him what you were up to yet, but he was going along with your crazy ideas anyway. He always watched you with fondness, which was sweet considering he also called you the wackiest person he knew. 

“Everyone, get in a circle and sit!” You ordered. They listened. You grabbed Hoseok just before he took off. “You, come here.” Dragging him out into the hall that lead to your bedrooms you tried your best to whisper. “Sit next to Nara.” 

“Huh?” 

God. Was he dumb? “I’m helping you here. Setting you up.” 

“I don’t need you to,” he exasperated. “I got this.” 

You knew for a fact he didn’t “got this”. “It’ll be your turn first, birthday boy n’ all.” You carried on like you hadn’t heard him. “Spin it ever so slightly.” 

“That’s so obvious.” 

“You want to make it obvious.” 

He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Fine.” 

You smiled in triumph, grabbing him by the arm. “Remember: ever so slightly!” And with that you dragged him towards the circle. You were pretty feisty when you needed to be. 

“It’s Hobi’s turn first because he’s the birthday boy,” you told everyone as you pushed him down between Nara and Joy. You sat to Nara’s left; convenient to keep an eye on everything, plus you were next to Seokjin too.   

“It’s so cute how you call him Hobi,” Nara commented, leaning into you with a smile. 

“Oh, really?” You were a little caught off guard. “Everyone calls him that. No big deal.” You tried to think if that was true… You must’ve heard it from somewhere else why would you have started calling him that…?

“Are there rules?” Joy asked. 

“Yes! Rules!” You suddenly realised. You racked your brains. Hoseok and Nara couldn’t kiss in front of everyone. That would just be odd. Hm, maybe this was too obvious. “Whoever the bottle lands on, that’s who you kiss! But there’s a twist. It has to be in my closet.” 

“You got cameras in there or something?” Namjoon piped up, Nara laughed loudly. 

“No,” you said slowly. “Because it’s the biggest. You can’t come out until the deed is done.” 

“Isn’t that like seven minutes in heaven?” Yoongi asked. 

“Yoongi, just shut up and listen.” Why couldn’t people just be excited? You were trying to hook up their friend! “It’s not like that because I don’t want people having sex in my closet.” You nudged Nara and giggled. She slowly laughed back, a little confused. You caught Hoseok shooting you a look but ignored him.

“Kissing only,” you continued. “And we need photographic evidence.”

“What?” Hoseok sounded like he was about to run off any moment. 

“Just a quick pic,” you shrugged. If truth be told, you wanted Hoseok to have the memory of when you set him up with the girl of his dreams forever. That way he could always thank you. 

“Is the guy to girl ratio a little skewed?” Yoongi pointed out. “I’m not kissing Joon.” 

You ignored him. “TONGUES.” You shouted instead, clapping your hands. “Almost forgot to specify: tongues!” 

“I’m not tonguing anyone bar my girlfriend.” Yoongi was adamant. 

“Whatever.” You sighed. Didn’t he realise this wasn’t about him? You didn’t care who he tongued or didn’t tongue. It was about who Hoseok tongued! 

You stretched over and handed the bottle to him. “Hoseok, spin.” You were careful not to use your, no, the, nickname. There was nothing cute about it. 

“Okay. Kinda nervous.” He was practically shouting. If this was his way of trying to sound casual, he was failing. “Don’t want to mess it up.” Thinking about it, this was a very stupid idea. He was about to spin a bottle four inches to the left. You watched feeling a little sick. 

The sick feeling turned to one of horror in a nanosecond. You watched in slow motion as the bottle passed Nara. It wasn’t four inches, it was eight. He’d landed on you. 

“No.” Hoseok spoke into the room. The denial was strong. “No. No. Nope. No.” 

You could hear the room cheering. Yoongi laughing, saying something about how amazing this was. The game had backfired on you. But in truth you weren’t really listening, too busy having a minor breakdown. 

You looked at a Hoseok. “No.” He said it back. You looked around at everyone else, eyes wide. In denial and begging for someone to say you didn’t have to do it. “No. No. HA,” you forced a laugh. “I have a boyfriend. I can’t kiss anyone else.” 

“If you were going to make me kiss Joon, you’re kissing Hoseok.” 

“Baby, it’s just a game,” Seokjin chuckled, hooking his arm around your shoulders. “It’s fine.” 

“No.” You were adamant. “I would call that cheating. Wouldn’t you?” 

“I would.” Hoseok piped up. At least someone was on your side. No one listened to him. 

“Relax.” Seokjin rubbed the back of your neck. “Come here.” He dipped his head, capturing your mouth in a soft kiss before pulling away and winking. “That’s to remember me. Now get on in there!” 

The guy physically hauled you up. You perfect boyfriend had no problem with this. Damn him. Damn him for being so reasonable and laid back. Yoongi made a beeline for Hoseok. The glee on his face was pretty frightening. 

“To the closest! To the closet! To the closet!” The chanting wasn’t necessary, but it happened any way. Frog marched into your bedroom and pushed into the closet. Surrounded in pitch black before you reached for the light switch. 

“You overshot it,” you hissed. 

“I was under pressure!” Yelling in whispers was hard. “You do not know how stressful it was!” 

You groaned, rubbing your hands all over your face. “Don’t do that you look like The Scream.” Hoseok commented.

You shot him a look before stomping your feet and pointing a finger at him. “I can’t believe this. You were supposed to be in here with Nara!” 

“Why the hell did you sit next to her?” 

“I don’t know. To keep an eye on you!” In hindsight it was a very bad idea, but what would have happened if you hadn’t? Hoseok would be in here with Seokjin? That was even more weird! 

“You guys kissing yet?” Yoongi asked through the door. You could almost see his Lenny face. 

“Oh, god,” Hoseok muttered. He sounded faint. 

“Yeah. We did it!” You yelled back. You were getting you both out of here. “Was super wet. Hoseok has a freakishly long tongue. Yuck.” 

“Hey. No, I don’t.” 

“Send the pic. Did you take a pic?” Yoongi sounded way too excited. 

Shit. The stupid picture?! Why did you even come up with that rule… “Oh, would you look at that. I didn’t hit the button. Oh well, doesn’t matter,” you shrugged, moving to turn the door handle. It didn’t budge. Almost like someone was holding it shut. “Hey, let us out!!” You yelled. 

“No evidence, no escaping.” That was Namjoon. He sounded overly amused. 

“Namjoon!” You shrieked in surprise. You twisted and tugged on the handle, hoping you he would relent, give up so you could get the hell out of here. “Let us out. Let us out! I’m claustrophobic!”

“Kiss and take the pic!” Joy shouted. 

Joy?! That was it! Friendship over. Come to think of it, where was Seokjin? Maybe you could appeal to him. He’d give in surely. You were about to open your mouth when fresh chanting started. “KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!” It was so loud you swear you’d wake up with a noise compliant. But more importantly, you could hear Seokjin’s voice along with the rest. Goddamnit. You were really going to have to kiss Hoseok. 

You turned back to him, defeat on your face. He’d been oddly quiet since you’d tried escaping. “Let’s just do it,” he shrugged. 

“What?” You mean, you’d been planning on saying the same thing, but you’d thought it would take some cajoling. 

“Get your phone out. Let’s just get it over with,” he told you. “You want to get out of here, right?” 

“Okay.” You nodded, telling yourself it would be fine. “Yeah, we’ll just kiss. It’s no biggie.” 

“Nope, no biggie.” He stepped closer. You were suddenly sweating. It was really hot in here and you swear the floor was shaking because of how rowdy they were being outside. 

“Hey, remember when I saw your boob that one time?” Hoseok laughed. “It popped right out of your towel when you were talking to me as I brushed my teeth.” He made a popping sound to emphasise, his hand flopping from his chest in an unnecessary reenactment

That had actually been particularly mortifying for you. Especially seeing as it was only a month into living with the guys and you’d just flashed a boob accidentally. “What does that have to do with anything?” 

He looked at you, releasing his mistake. “It doesn’t. Just if I’ve seen your boob, I can kiss you.” There was no correlation at all. You wanted to point that out but now he was a few inches from your face. You were going crosseyed trying to look at him. “Okay, let’s do this,” he murmured. 

“Ew. What did you just do?” You startled, stepping back. 

“Huh?” 

“You licked your lips.” He’d licked his lips and moved forward. He was about to put his wet ones on your normal ones. 

“Of course I did. Do you want dry lips?” 

“Yes! I want dry lips,” you insisted. 

He pulled a face, more than puzzled. “These things can get pretty chapped, but ok.” Before you could say anything else he had his hands on your face, lunging closer with his eyes closed. 

“No. No.” You ducked from his grip, darting to the other side of the closet. Had it always been that small in here? You used to think it was massive. 

Hoseok sighed. “What now?” 

“You cupped my face. You did this thing with your eyes.” 

“What, closed them?!” 

“Don’t kiss me with your eyes closed.” 

“So you want to be staring at each other the whole time?” He thought you were crazy. Could tell by the tone of his voice. He exhaled, voice calmer when he spoke again. “You don’t want to kiss me, do you?” 

“Of course I don’t. It’s weird as hell.” You caught the look on his face. “Oh, come on. You cannot be offended. Does the idea of kissing me not gross you out?” 

“No, it doesn’t gross me out. That’s a bit drastic.” 

God, he was not guilt tripping you right now. It worked anyway. “Fine! Let’s kiss.” He looked startled, probably feeling dizzy by your back and forth. “C’mon. Kiss me, Jung.” He didn’t budge. You started chanting. It was the only way. “Kiss me! Kiss me! Kiss me!” 

“Ok, okay.” He yelled over you. “Shut the hell up.” You continued. You always did like pissing him off. 

In a split second he was in front of you. “Come here.” His cupped your face again and you instantly shut up. Your eyes were locked on his, and in this pretty dismal lighting he looked beautiful. It made your insides feel funny. For a moment there you caught yourself puckering. You caught yourself actually wanting to kiss him, and then in the blink of an eye it was gone. Almost like it never happened. He murmured your name and pulled away, shaking his head 

“What?” 

“I can’t do this,” he admitted. “It’s too weird.” 

“Ha! See!” You were triumphant. “It is weird!” 

He shook his head again, chuckling quietly. “No, I mean… This is not how it’s supposed to go.” 

“What?” There was silence. He didn’t try to elaborate. “Supposed to go?” No matter how much you tried to make sense of that, nothing worked. “How’s it supposed to go, Hoseok?” 

“Forget it. I didn’t say anything,” he tried to backtrack. “It came out wrong.” 

“Hoseok.” He didn’t tell you. He just stared at you, unable or unwilling. “Hobi—p”

“You guys win.” You were interrupted as the door burst open, Yoongi grumbling like a giant baby. 

You blinked rapidly, not used to the bright lights. Everything felt a little weird, like you’d been in that closest for years. You walked out first, not looking behind you. You felt a little shaken up. You couldn’t explain why. 

Seokjin wrapped his arms around your shoulders and laughed. “We were sick of waiting.” He smelt of beer and his eyes were unfocused. You hadn’t realised before but he was drunk. Way more than you were. 

“Get back in the circle,” Namjoon ordered, leading the way. God, this game was still going to continue? You’d all be here until tomorrow morning. “You guys are spoilsports.” 

“What’s a little kissing among friends?” Yoongi piped up, which was rich coming from him. “Okay, Nara’s turn,” he said once everyone had gotten back into place. She took the bottle eagerly. “Spin it, girl!” 

You all watched it go. You totally forgot to pray it landed on Hoseok until it was too late. The room erupted into cheers and wolf whistles as it stopped and your heart sunk. 

“NAMJOON!!” Yoongi yelled. “Get it, Kim!” 

You shot Hoseok an apologetic look. 

.

.

“Hey.” You said, stopping by the sofa where Hoseok sat. “I’m sorry about tonight.”

It was a fewhours later, the party was over and you were in your pyjamas ready for bed. Seokjin was already tucked up on his side and you’d just gone to get a glass of water. You didn’t want a headache in the morning. You were surprised to see Hoseok still awake and in the living room. 

He shook his head, laughing a little. “It’s fine. I actually kinda enjoyed it in a strange way.” 

“You did?” 

“Yup. What better way to see 30 in. Trapped in a closet with you.” 

You laughed at his silliness, making your way over to the sink to fill up your glass. You gulped the water down, thinking to yourself. You didn’t care if he was just trying to make you feel better. You were still relieved he hadn’t totally hated it. There were worse people to be stuck in a closet with. You hoped. 

As you placed the now empty glass down a faint banging appeared. Like something hitting against a wall. It got louder and then slowed away. “What’s that?” You asked Hoseok, turning around and genuinely puzzled. 

“Oh, that,” Hoseok chuckled. “That’s Namjoon and Nara. He’s giving it to her good. Real good.” 

Your mouth dropped open, just as the banging re-emerged. Yes, it was definitely coming from his room. His headboard. Then the guilt kicked in. “Oh my god. Hobi, I’m so sorry.” How had this happened? How had you not seen the signs? It was pretty obvious now, thinking back, Nara had been totally into Namjoon. All that hushed talking, giggling and touching. The game of spin the bottle. That girl had rigged her own spin for it to land on him. Only she’d been a good shot. Hoseok on the other hand… 

Hoseok raised his hand, brushing your apologies away. “He asked for permission. He needs this.” Maybe so. This was the first woman Joon had shown an interest in after Sookie. Hoseok was too understanding.  “Besides, I oddly don’t care.” 

Or maybe not. 

“You don’t?” You instantly kicked yourself for prying. Prying and being nosey had been the downfall of this night. Yet here you were itching for more info. 

“Yeah, I just…” He trailed off and shrugged. “Maybe I don’t like Nara that much. It was just a stupid crush. No big deal.” 

You didn’t know what to say. You wanted to ask what made him change his mind so suddenly? Made him realise? But that seemed inappropriate. You nodded instead, letting him know you got it, and turned to leave. “Goodnight.” 

“Wait,” he called. “Hold up.” He jumped up and you turned to face him again, waiting like he’d asked. “I want to say sorry too. I made that weird. The game.”

“Oh.” The closet. The awkwardness had slowly disappeared through the night and now you had a sickly feeling it was about to come back. If the look on his face was anything to go by. 

“What I meant was,” he was talking slow, a little stunted. “If I was ever going to kiss you, it wouldn’t be like that. Because of some stupid game.” 

His words took a moment to process. Perhaps you had another hundred questions to ask but they seemed impossible. You should just take what he said and accept it. The game was over and you’d never play it again. You’d never get in a closet with him again. You felt strange, but you didn’t admit that. Instead you smiled. “Okay.” 

That feeling was creeping back. The one from the closet, when he’d been holding your face and staring into your eyes. The one where he’d looked so good under that weird yellow light. Hoseok was handsome, you’d always thought so, but in a way where you’d never actually thought of it, if that made sense… In that closet, you’d thought it. 

“Come on, I’ll walk with you,” he told you, interrupting the butterflies in your stomach. You walked side by side, down the corridor. Your rooms were directly opposite one another. Had you pointed that out before?  

You stopped when he did, forcing yourself to say something. It was just Hoseok. You talked to him all the time. You yelled at him all the time. And laughed, and fooled around. He was your friend. “I promise I’ll make next year’s birthday better.” 

He smiled gently, head tilted, voice soft. “You don’t have to promise me anything. Night.” 

“Goodnight, Hobi.” 

You made to turn, hand nearly on the door handle, but then he pulled you back. One hand reaching for yours, the other curling around your waist. Your mouths met in such a rush you didn’t realise until you felt the warmth of his tongue. It was passionate and eager. The kind of kiss you see in the movies, where no one comes up for air, where their bodies move on their own accord. 

There were no thoughts, just feelings. The feeling of how good this was, and how much it took your breath away. The feeling of his lips on yours and how you should’ve been feeling them a long time ago. The feeling of his arms wrapped around your waist, clutching you tight, and yours around his shoulders, holding him close. 

When you finally pulled away, no choice but to, you were trembling. Boneless. Hs breath fanned across your face and you were sad. You wanted more. You wanted to kiss him all night. Slowly, more deliberately, you pushed your lips against his, savouring the feel. He kissed you back just as softly before breaking away for good. 

“That’s how it would go,” he murmured. He was breathing heavily. “How I imagined it to be.”

And that he was gone. To his room, door shut. 

You stood there dazed, lips tingling and you brought your fingers out to touch them. There was silence all around you, and slowly, the haze began to lift. In its wake brought panic and guilt. Seokjin. Your boyfriend was asleep just behind the door.

What had you done? 

You got hardly any sleep. Your brain wouldn’t switch off. The guilt twisting your gut, even more so when you kept thinking of the kiss and how good it was, and how short lived it was. Seokjin centimetres away from you, clueless. You rose early. Everyone else was still asleep, the loft silent. Still in your pyjamas you poured yourself some cereal and sat on at the counter, munching away sombrely. 

Hoseok was the first to wake up. Of course. You should’ve just stayed inside your room, but you couldn’t bear to be near Seokjin. He strolled into the living room casually, making his way to the kitchen. You tried to ignore the way your stomach flipped because you didn’t know what it meant. Were you angry, panicked, something else? 

“Good morning.” He greeted casually. 

Angry. You were angry. It rushed up your body. How dare he be so casual. As if nothing had happened. “Seriously? Good morning?” You retorted. He was making himself a coffee. “What’s good about it, Hoseok? You kissed me last night!” 

He gave a little shrug. “I know I did.” 

You were flabbergasted by his gall. Had to force yourself to continue. “Well,” you stared at him. “Aren’t you going to explain yourself?” 

“I already did.” He spoke simply. “I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to show you how I would kiss you.” 

Nope. You weren’t feeling guilty over this any longer. Not when he was acting so unfazed. He was the one who had kissed you. This was his doing. And he didn’t care at all. “To what? Prove a point?” You demanded. 

He scoffed, dropping a teaspoon into the sink. “No, not to prove a point.” He turned to face you, back leaning against the counter. “I wanted to kiss you.” 

Your mind was beginning to reel. “I have a BOYFRIEND,” you said slowly, unable to keep a lid on your anger. “Who I had to sleep next to last night.” 

Right on cue, Seokjin came from around the corner, still half asleep and rubbing his eyes. You froze, feeling instantly sick. You hope he hadn’t heard anything. 

He hadn’t. He smiled when he saw you both, making his way over. “Morning, guys.” 

“Seokjin, hey,” you breathed, feeling a little trembly. You pushed your bowl away, not hungry now. You caught Hoseok’s eyes. 

“Morning,” he nodded, turning to look at Seokjin but averting his gaze. 

Seokjin leant down and kissed your cheek, rubbing your shoulder. “Did you sleep at all last night? You were tossing and turning like crazy.” 

You felt yourself panicking. You needed to cool it. “Ah, I think I was still pumped from the party.” You laughed lightly. 

Seokjin joined in. “You guys sure do know how to have fun. I think I’ve drunk more in these past two months than I have in my entire life.” You heard Hoseok gave the lamest laugh back. It sounded more like a scoff and you shot him a look.  

“Hey, wanna go to the zoo today?” Seokjin suggested. You’d been on about going for weeks now just hadn’t gotten around to it. “I’m not due at the hospital until tonight.” 

You forced yourself to smile. Hoped it seemed natural. “I’d love to.” 

“Perfect,” he grinned, reaching to kiss your lips. They twinged, and you remembered the feeling of Hoseok’s mouth. You were also very aware he was a witness to all this. You pulled back quickly. “Wanna shower first?” Seokjin asked. 

“No, it’s okay. You go.” 

You couldn’t bear them to be alone together. Hoseok was acting weird, you didn’t trust him not to tell Seokjin. As it would have it though, by the time you looked across at the counter, Hoseok was gone, already walking off back to his room. 

.

.

“What’s wrong?” You asked Seokjin as you made your way into your room. You’d showered straight after him. Gotten dressed in the bathroom because you did not fancy bumping into Hoseok wrapped in a towel. Even though you had many a time. 

Seokjin looked a little sad, you could tell by his face straight away something was up, and  delayed, you felt dread begin prick at your spine. What if Hoseok had told him? 

“Bad news. They need me at the hospital.” He sounded guilty that he had to let you down. 

While you felt instant relief. He didn’t know about the kiss and your guilty conscious was happy you wouldn’t have to spend all day together. You felt terrible at the realisation. Maybe you should just tell him what happened. But… not like this. Not today. You were a serial put-er off-er.

“That’s okay, it can’t be helped,” you told him, making your way over to the bed where he sat perched on. You rubbed his shoulder. You both liked doing that to one another. Thinking that made you sad. “I feel bad for you though. You haven’t had a proper day off in weeks.” 

It was true, Seokjin worked harder than any person you’d met before. You didn’t know how he did it. More sadness filled you. You couldn’t explain why. This time it wasn’t the guilt over the kiss, but something else. Everything had changed. 

“You’re cute,” he smiled. “I’ll be fine. Always am.” Those words stuck with you. “I’m sad we can’t go to the zoo. Rain check?” 

“Rain check,” you nodded, smiling slightly. 

“What will you do instead today?” He asked, before chuckling. “Hoseok’s here all day. Keep him company.” 

Your eyes widened. “You’ve been talking to Hob–Hoseok?” Damn that nickname. He didn’t deserve to be called Hobi. 

“Yeah, while you were in the shower.” 

Change the subject. “I think I may hang out with Joy.” It was the weekend after all, and Yoongi had work this afternoon and then he was going out for drinks with some coworkers. Joy would be free. “We can have a girly day. I could stay over maybe.” You were babbling. Trying to make this believable even though it wasn’t a lie. “Face masks, pillow fights, all that sleepover stuff.” 

Seokjin looked at you funny and laughed affectionately. “You’re really trying to relive your high school years, aren’t you? You’re cute,” he repeated. He always called you cute. He wrapped his arms around you waist, pulling you a little closer. “—and weird. That’s why I like you.” 

Yes. Sometimes you did think you were a little bit “too much” for Seokjin, but he always seemed so endeared by you. Usually this kind of talk made you happy, but you felt strange inside. Like everything was slowly dying. Seokjin kissed you, it didn’t bring you back to life.    “I’ll see you tomorrow night. Promise I’ll be free.” 

You forced yourself to smile. Any more and your lips would start aching. “Can’t wait.” 

He rubbed his nose against yours, voice low. “You can come over. Maybe we can play seven minutes in heaven…” 

You giggled, but in your mind you couldn’t stop thinking about your kiss with Hoseok. 

.

.

“Hoseok kissed me last night.” 

It was a few hours later, not even twenty four after the kiss, and you were finally telling someone about it. You weren’t built to keep secrets. Joy knew that. She knew you the best out of anyone. She’d been your best friend for over twenty years. That’s why it was her you told. Curled up on her sofa you blurted it out. No lead up, no ‘Hey, can I tell you something?’ Just straight out with it. 

She turned her attention away from the television, a look of confusion spread all over her face. “During the game or?” 

You breathed out. “After. Once everyone had gone home.” 

Her eyes widened, but she spoke slowly, as if she was trying really hard to understand. “I’m confused. Was it a drunk thing?” 

“I don’t know why he did it,” you admitted. If you had a solid answer maybe you could get your head around it more. “He said he wanted to show me how our first kiss would go.” 

“Hold up.” Now Joy had come to life. Still in shock, but needing explanations. “He imagined a first kiss? Does he like you?” 

“No,” you exclaimed, pulling a disgusted face. “It’s Hoseok. Me and Hoseok.” 

“Do you like him?” 

Was she crazy? “No.” But that sounded too mean. “Yes. I mean, of course I like him, he’s my friend.”

“Christ. He kissed you,” she muttered, shaking her head a little in disbelief. 

“I kissed him back.” Had you left out that minor detail? It was all very well saying Hoseok kissed you, but you’d let him, and you’d kissed him back just as hard. The memory had your insides feeling funny again. 

Joy looked a little in stunned. You didn’t blame her. You and Hoseok kissing? His mouth on yours, his hands on your body, his tongue in your mouth… You needed a cold shower. Where was your guilt now?! 

“What was it like?” She asked hesitantly. Curious. 

“Really good.” You couldn’t lie. And you couldn’t keep the truth in. You just needed to be honest with yourself. “I’m so confused. Joy, I cant stop thinking about it. I’m so mad at him but it was just so… It was just so hot. But out of this world. Like, I saw through time and space, and it was Hoseok doing it!” In what world did that seem realistic? He was your friend! 

“Damn, Hoseok has game.” Joy sounded half impressed. 

You sighed sadly. “I think it was the best kiss of my life but it can’t be because…” There she was. The guilt. She settled in your stomach, heavy and sickly. “Seokjin. I have a boyfriend. One who I’ve liked for the longest time.” 

You remembered how much you wanted to make it work with him while things were still just a hook up and how heartbroken you’d been when he’d told you he couldn’t give you that. How confused and kind of mad you were when he found you again and confessed his feelings and how happy you’d been when you’d given him another chance. When Hoseok had encouraged you to give it a try. Nothing made sense. Everything had changed after one kiss.  

“Are you going to tell him?” Joy asked. 

“I don’t know. I was going to forget the kiss ever happened but I don’t think I can do that,” you admitted. Seokjin deserved the truth, but selfishly, more than that, you couldn’t live like this, so conflicted. It wasn’t black and white. You’d kissed Hoseok back. 

“Just think it through, okay?” She told you gently. “If you tell him it’ll make things awkward. You’re friends with Hoseok. You live with Hoseok.” 

You didn’t think Joy got it. You didn’t think you got it. You couldn’t forget about the kiss. That’s why you had to tell Seokjin. “No, I should tell him.” Your voice was a little shaky. “I kissed Hoseok back. It wouldn’t be fair to blame it all on him. Seokjin needs to know.” 

.

.

You slipped through the door, trying to be as quiet as possible. You turned left, towards your bedroom and began creeping. It was past midnight but you still wanted to go as undetected as possible, praying Namjoon and Hoseok were in their rooms already. 

“Hey.” You winced when you heard Hoseok’s voice, freezing. “I was waiting up for you. Where were you all day?” 

You turned back slowly, trying to make your voice sound as neutral as possible. If truth be told, the last person you wanted to have a conversation with right now was him. “At Joy’s. I was going to stay over but Yoongi got drunk and she had to pick him up.” 

“You were going to stay over because of me?” He asked. You stayed silent and he sighed your name. “Look, I’m really sorry I did this. Made things awkward between us. It’s the last thing I want.” 

Your jaw tightened in anger. Then why the hell had he kissed you? “I don’t feel awkward. Do you feel awkward?” 

“I feel a little awkward.” He admitted, hands in his pockets. You stayed a few feet apart. “You left the house all day to avoid me.” 

“I’m not feeling awkward. I’m feeling…mad.” 

“Mad?” He had the cheek to sound surprised. “At me?” 

“You kissed me when I have a boyfriend.” You explained like you had to. “Did you not think of the consequences?”

He lowered his head, sheepish, yet he still didn’t apologise. “Are you going to tell him?” He asked instead. “Just don’t.” 

“What?” Your voice was low, anger rising. 

Hoseok shrugged. “Just forget it ever happened.” 

“Forget it ever happened?!” You exclaimed. “I can’t.” You shook your head, the memory of the kiss pushing its way back into your head. No. That wasn’t why. “I can’t lie to him. You’re asking me to lie to him?” 

“It’s not lying, it’s just not telling him something happened. He’s oblivious to it anyways.” 

“What the hell?” You couldn’t begin to explain why you felt so frustrated. So offended. “I can’t do this.” You voice shook. You were blowing up. “I was happy before last night. Like really happy, and now everything is ruined because you kissed me!” He stayed silent. You couldn’t read his expression. 

“Like jeez,” you laughed in frustration. “It doesn’t make sense, Hoseok. You were encouraging me to give him another chance and now what, you like me?” You mocked, instantly regretting it by the way his face fell. 

“Is that funny to you?” He scoffed. “Is the possibility I like you so hilarious you feel the need to laugh in my face?” Oh no. “Or are you laughing because it seems so crazy? Impossible?” 

You could feel the dread prickling your skin, but all you could do was watch him in horror. “I like you.” The way he said your name afterwards made something inside of you long. You pushed it away, because otherwise your legs might give way from under you. 

“I like you a lot. Way more than a friend and I don’t know for how long.” 

You couldn’t speak. Just watched him struggle to find the right words himself. “It-It’s just one of those things. You came into my life like a bulldozer and I kept thinking, how had I gone through nearly thirty years of my life not knowing you?” He scoffed. “It sounds stupid, but it’s true. Slowly I just began thinking maybe one day it’ll be our chance. It wasn’t urgent. Just kinda there in my subconscious. Most of the time I didn’t even think about it.” He shrugged. “I was okay with waiting. Okay with watching you date other guys because it wasn’t our turn yet. One day,” he sighed. “One day it would be, and I’d get to kiss you like last night.” 

The kiss was back behind your eyes. The feeling of his lips, the taste of his mouth. The touch of his body. For some reason you were angry. 

“That game messed it all up and I’m sorry for that, but I’m not sorry for kissing you. I won’t apologise for that.” 

“No.” You finally said something. It was final, but your voice shook. “No. You can’t be doing this right now, Hoseok.” You pointed at him, accusing him. “I’m happy. For the first time in a long time I was happy. I like Seokjin. He’s the first guy I’ve really felt something with since Seungwoo. Do you know how important that is?” He should understand that more than anyone, with what happened with Minah. 

“You expect me to throw it all away because one day you see yourself with me? One day?!” You were a goddamn after thought. One of those pacts friends made. If we’re still single at 40 we’ll get married. Was that what you were to him? You blinked away frustrated tears. He was one of your best friends and that’s how he saw you? 

“Oh, please,” he sneered. He sounded hurt, but mad. You’d never seen him angry before. You hated it. You’d bickered many times, but never to this level. “You’re always choosing shitty men.” 

“You’ve known me for a year!” 

“Yeah, and in that time it hasn’t been great,” he scoffed. You thought of the handful of men Hoseok had witnessed you date and cringed. He was judging you. Two could play at that game. Childish or not. 

“Oh, and you have such a great taste in woman. If I remember correctly, one robbed you after you slept with her!” 

“That could’ve happened to anyone!” 

Whatever. “Seokjin is not a shitty man!” He was kind, and sweet, and probably way too good for you. 

“You were his fuck buddy for weeks and when you told him you had feelings for him he ran away only to come back with his tail between his legs. He had his chance and he blew it. You deserve better.” 

“You were the one who told me to go for it!” You exasperated. He wasn’t making sense. He was the one who encouraged you to give Seokjin a second chance. Without Hoseok, you wouldn’t be together right now. 

“I regret that now. What more do you want me to say?” 

Really? You stared at him. “I want you to say you don’t know anything.” 

“I don’t know anything?” 

“Yes, you don’t know anything about anything.” He just said things, did things, without thinking of the consequences. He was thoughtless. “Seokjin might’ve been the one, but now it’s all ruined!” 

“He’s not.” 

Fuck him. He sounded so sure. What did he know? “It’s ruined because of you!” You shouted in frustration. “I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to feel.” All you could remember was the kiss. “I was happy and now I’m not.” 

“Well I’m sorry for making you unhappy,” he sighed. “That’s what I do.” He threw his hands into the air and laughed bitterly. “I’m sorry for thinking me and you could be something great. I’m sorry for not having my life together. Not being rich, or for not being devilishly handsome—which I may add,” he shot, “is freaky. No man should be that beautiful!” 

For god’s sake. What was he trying to do now? Guilt trip you? “What are you going on about? Those are your insecurities. I don’t care about all that stuff.” Was he trying to say you were shallow? 

“Of course you do,” he insisted. “Seokjin has it all. What do I have? Nothing. I’m 30 and work at a bar. I dropped out of law school and forget to shower some days. I don’t own my own home. I live in a loft with two other guys and you.” 

You? Why did he say it like that? For someone who supposedly liked you he wasn’t doing a good job of showing it. From the seems of things he didn’t like you. 

“Do yourself a favour and just don’t tell him. Forget about me and be happy. Fall in love with him, marry him, have tons of super pretty babies.” 

Jaw tight, you sneered. “This is why we wouldn’t work out.” You told him. “You’re childish.” He wasn’t relationship material. He wasn’t what you were looking for. “You’re selfish. You’re mean.” 

He scoffed. “I’m mean?” 

Your bottom lip wobbled, eyes filling up. “Yeah, you really are.” And then you stormed off. Down the hall and into your room. Just in time to hide the tears that slipped down your cheeks. He couldn’t see you cry. He couldn’t see he’d gotten to you. 

He yelled your name, calling you back, sounding regretful, but you didn’t listen and he didn’t follow you. 

The next morning you didn’t see Hoseok at all. He was either in his room when you finally emerged from yours, or he was already at the bar. You were thankful either way. You didn’t think you could handle facing him. You were still so mad, but more than that you were upset. Confused. 

You showered and got ready with a struggle. Forced yourself to go grocery shopping even though you had no appetite for food, and then you just tried to keep yourself distracted. You caught up with some marking that needed to be done by tomorrow, meal prepped for lunches and tried to seem normal around Namjoon who was milling about the loft too. Then Seokjin messaged your asking if you still wanted to hang out this evening. You replied yes with a heavy heart. 

On your way there you’d convinced yourself that you weren’t going to tell him. Yes, you had kissed Hoseok back, but he was the one that had made the move. You could forget about it with time. You could be happy with Seokjin again. Your guilty conscience would go. 

But sitting with him on the sofa, his arm looped around your shoulders and his soft laugh rumbling in your ears every time something funny happened in the movie you were watching, you realised something. The only reason you didn’t want to tell him was because you wanted to spite Hoseok. You were being selfish. The same thing you’d accused Hoseok of last night. 

Seokjin deserved to now, whatever the outcome. For him, for you, for Hoseok… 

“I kissed Hoseok.” 

It didn’t sound like your voice, but you’d said it. 

You felt Seokjin move and you automatically wriggled out from under his arm. He paused the movie, looking back at you with a bemused expression. “You kissed him?” He laughed slightly. “Why didn’t time say? We would’ve left you out sooner.” 

He’d mistaken what you meant. Just like Joy. You closed your eyes softly, sadness filling you. You wanted to say yes, in the game more than anything, just not to hurt him, but that wasn’t the truth. You’d kissed Hoseok off your own back and you’d enjoyed it. “No,” you said softly. “We kissed after the party. Later on when I went to get some water. He kissed me, but I kissed him back.” You didn’t take a moment to pause, needing it all to be out. 

Seokjin was silent as he absorbed the information. Shocked being a given. Finally he said something. “You kissed him while I was in the loft too? In your bed?” 

When he worded it like that you felt sick. You nodded sadly. “I feel terrible, Seokjin. I do. I just couldn’t not tell you. Hoseok said to forget it ever happened but I… It–We…” You fumbled over your words and took a moment to compose yourself. “We argued last night and I’m just… I’m really confused.” 

Two nights ago everything had changed. You’d been in this perfect new relationship. It had promise, it was going somewhere and you were over the moon. Then the kiss had happened and you hadn’t been able to see a future with Seokjin anymore. No matter how small. 

His face was unreadable as he looked at you. You wanted him to get mad. You wanted him to yell at you and tell you how much of a horrible person you were. You deserved it. But that wasn’t his style. Instead he breathed out some kind of little laugh. “There’s no need to be confused. I get it now. You like Hoseok. Of course you do.” 

You were too surprised to even think about refuting him. Of all the things for him to say, you had not been expecting that. “Seeing you guys together,” he carried on. “You always bicker, get on one another’s nerves, but now I see it.” He chuckled. Sadly amused. “It was chemistry. You two just bounce off one another so well. I don’t know, maybe you’re frustrated too, mad you’re not together.” 

You let his words sink in. Trying to think of every interaction you’d had with Hoseok since you met him. It was pretty much an instant connection. You’d always thought so, but did that really mean… You couldn’t let yourself think here. In front of Seokjin, after you’d just confessed to him. But everything was flooding to the forefront of your brain, and it was hard work trying to stop it. There was no point trying to deny it. Not now. 

“I never wanted to hurt you,” you told him instead. Meaning it sincerely. You hadn’t even realised anything yourself. Not even when it was right in front of you. When Hoseok was telling you he liked you. 

He smiled sadly. “Better for it to happen now, right?” 

“I really care about you, Seokjin. These past few weeks have been amazing. Even before, when we were…” You stopped and shook your head. “You’re the best and I’m really sorry.” You truly did mean that. No matter how lame it sounded. 

“You’re a really great girl, remember that,” he told you. “Maybe if I’d figured out my feelings months ago things would be different, but then again,” he shrugged, “maybe you’re just meant to be with him.” 

Meant to be with him. Hoseok. Were you meant to be with Hoseok? 

Seokjin took you hand and squeezed it gently. “I’m done,” he murmured, his eyes kind but firm. “I don’t want to be second best.” 

.

.

You had déjà vu. You were slipping through the door again. This time you didn’t try to creep into your room though. You made your way into the kitchen, needing a glass of water. Just to take some time for yourself, needing to find some clarity. You found it as soon as your eyes landed on Hoseok walking from the direction of the bathroom. Everything fell into place, began to make sense. 

He stopped dead when he saw you, awkward and probably panicked after last night. “Hey,” you said gently. “Where is everyone?” It was strange for the loft to be so quiet on a Sunday night. 

He cleared his throat. “Namjoon has Nara over, Yoongi‘s still over Joy’s place.” He was already beginning to walk away.  “I’ll be out of your way, just going to bed.” 

You opened your mouth to call him back. You had so much to say, but… But was tonight a good time to start? Your head was still whirring. Sadness and guilt over your breakup with Seokjin but you also felt giddy at the sight of Hoseok. You wanted to say sorry for the argument, for all the things you said, and most of all you wanted to tell him that you—

“Aren’t you supposed be staying with Jin tonight?” Hoseok had stopped, turning back with the afterthought. “Namjoon mentioned it.”  

He didn’t need to explain himself. You didn’t care how he knew. You didn’t care about a lot right now. Only one thing. “He broke up with me,” you replied. “I told him about the kiss and now it’s over.” 

Hoseok’s eyes bulged, visibly shocked. “What? Didn’t you tell him it was my fault?” He walked over to you. There was still a distance but it was a start. “No,” he muttered. “Why would he break up with you? It’s not your fault.”

Sweet, caring Hoseok. You smiled at him, the words that left you almost bubbling into a laugh. “It is.” 

He looked mighty confused. He was probably thinking you’d lost it right now. You hadn’t. You’d only just found it. You took a deep breath. It was now or never. “It’s my fault because I like you too.” 

Silence. He looked stunned. It seemed strange to say it out loud but also sort of invigorating. Nothing made sense in this world, bar one thing. Your feelings for him. You laughed, more words now rushing out. “I really like you. And I don’t know for how long. Maybe from the beginning,” you shrugged, “maybe from the kiss. I don’t know.” 

You’d been trying to pinpoint the exact moment on the ride home. Going through each memory you had with him in an attempt to understand when it happened. There was no real answer. It had snuck up on you, wanted you to be oblivious. And you think that was how it was for him too. Why last night had been so confusing. 

You were mad at him because you liked him too. You were mad at him because you thought he didn’t like you enough. He didn’t like you like he thought he liked you. God, you were a mess. Your thoughts weren’t making sense. What were you trying to say?

“I don’t know,” you repeated. “My head’s a mess and I really have a headache right now.” You rubbed your temples and then remembered something. “I also have a flat tyre. I think I drove over a nail on the way here. I don’t know how I’m going to get to work tomorrow morning.” 

“You could borrow my ca—

“Hobi, I don’t care.” You interrupted, laughing again. You felt funny, like you were floating. It felt good to call him that again. “I don’t care about anything right now, except you.” His eyes flashed at that, something changing on his face. He moved forward, closer to you. The counter was the only thing that separated you now. 

“I don’t understand anything and I’m really confused, but I know one thing,” you insisted, finally giving into the urge that had been raging your body for nearly two days. “I really want to kiss you.” You swallowed, tasting the memory of him. “Again. I can’t stop thinking about the kiss. It was the best kiss of my life.” 

He rounded the counter in the blink of an eye. He’d stayed silent for the majority of your confession, except for offering you his car, the idiot. You almost laughed again; why was he so sweet? Yeah, you would’ve laughed if he didn’t look so irresistible right now. So serious, so desperate, so intense. He was breathing heavily, almost panting, eyes blown black. 

“Can I kiss you now?” His voice was rough, broken with desire. 

You parted your mouth to reply. To say yes, to say please, to almost beg, but his lips were already on yours, hands cupping your face. Hungry, needy, eager. He pushed you against the counter your back was to, and you let out a gasp, maybe more of a moan. He took the opportunity to swipe his tongue against yours. He tasted like toothpaste. You hated spearmint, but now you loved it. 

You grasped him, letting your hands roam over his back. You wanted to touch him, feel him, never let him go. You grabbed the corners of his t-shirt with your fists and pulled him closer. He stumbled forward and your head feel back against one of the overhead cupboards. You didn’t care, clung to his mouth as he tried to pull back and check on you. “Don’t stop,” you whined against his lips. 

He chuckled but it trembled, probably had something to do with the way you were pressing your body into his. He gave up in the end, needing to get his hands on you too. He moved to your waist, hands gripping around the small of your back, holding you tight and pushing just as much into you, because he wanted to feel you against him too. To get as close as possible because there had always been a stupid, unnecessary distance between you. 

You felt hot, a little sweaty and out of breath, unsure how a kiss had got you this wrecked. It was just as good as his birthday—no, better. It was better because now you both knew what you wanted. 

“Hey—I know—this isn’t r-really the–mm–time,” Hoseok was trying to speak but he couldn’t stay away from your lips long enough. Words blurred and getting caught short, but you just kissed him more furiously. “But I really f-feel guilty about—last night. All the–the stuff I said–”

“It’s fine,” you got out, but it was enough to begin distracting you. 

He pulled back successfully, gazing at you, eyes warm and sincere. His breath fanned across your face. “I just feel really bad about all that stuff I said about Seokjin. He’s a good guy, I just—

“Let’s not speak about him now,” you interrupted softly. You took a deep breath, slipping your hands up his sides to rub his back. You were both coming down from that high slowly. 

He sighed weakly. “Yeah, I know, I just,” he paused, struggling, before giving a small shrug. “I was jealous of him.” 

“It’s okay,” you reassured. But now Seokjin was back in your head. The guilt was still there. Of course it wouldn’t go immediately, no matter how understanding he had been. But these emotions were conflicting. Plus, you knew you and Hoseok couldn’t be this simple. There was still so much to talk about. From both of you. 

“We need to talk before anything happens, right?” He read your mind. You smiled and nodded, feeling a little sad. 

And right at that moment a familiar banging appeared again. You caught Hoseok’s eyes and you both burst out laughing. Trust Namjoon to ease the moment.   

Hoseok pulled you upright, wrapping his arms around your waist now in a slight hug. You wrapped yours around his neck and he grinned. “We should go on a date tomorrow. We can talk then.” Your eyes widened. A date? Hoseok didn’t do dates. Not proper ones anyway. 

“I want to to this properly.” Again with the mind reading, you smiled to yourself. “I’ll take you out for dinner and we can, I don’t know, talk about what this means.” 

You grinned, Namjoon’s headboard still hitting the wall. “I’d really love that.” 

You were giddy all day. Couldn’t concentrate in work. You were still replaying last night in your head. After the kiss you’d watched some television together, like you always did on Sunday nights. You sat close, but not entwined, too afraid Namjoon would pop out of his bedroom—hopefully fully clothed. You couldn’t explain why that fear hadn’t been there when Hoseok had your back against the counter, but whatever, you weren’t ready for the weirdness that would unfold, nor the conversations that would need to be had. You hadn’t even talked it out yourselves yet. 

That was for tonight. Hoseok had text you just gone midday to tell you he’d gotten his shift for tonight covered and he’d booked dinner at a restaurant for 8pm. After that it had all felt too real. You were nervous, scared and excited all wrapped up into one. You were going on a date with Hoseok. Your friend Hoseok. The one who you’d bumped into this morning in the kitchen. The one who’d handed you a coffee with a shy good morning because he couldn’t say anything else with Namjoon rummaging around in the fridge next to you, totally oblivious. 

And later on, once you were home, getting ready for the date was a whole new experience all together. You know, living with the guy in question and all. You bumped into one another in the bathroom, brushing your teeth together with awkward giggles. He met you outside of your bedroom once you were dressed, eyes wide, cheeks a little flushed at the sight of you. Maybe the fact you were dressed up for him now turned him speechless. “You look beautiful,” he’d managed to splutter finally. 

He didn’t scrub up too badly himself. He was in a shirt for one. Loose at the neck, no tie, but a shirt nonetheless. And dress pants. Where exactly was he taking you? You didn’t have time to ask because you had to ninja your way out of the loft before you got caught. 

Dinner started off awkwardly at first. Stumbling over words, small talk drying up, lots of nervous laughter, but gradually you both found your groove. How could you not? It was you and Hoseok! All the history and chemistry you had didn’t just disappear because of one date. You were soon giggling together when you noticed a man accidentally walk into the women’s restroom. Childish, yes, but who cared? That’s who you and he were. 

By the main course you were both ready to open up, talk about you guys and what this meant. 

“I’m sorry about yelling the other night,” he apologised, pushing some spinach around his plate absentmindedly. 

You gave a little shrug.  “It’s okay. I’m sorry too. I was mad at myself more than anything.” 

“No,” he shook his head. “You don’t have to do that.” 

“Do what?” 

“Blame yourself.” He looked across at you. “You were mad because I kissed you when you had a boyfriend. I mean, it was a pretty dick-y thing to do and I feel really bad about it.” 

You smiled, that meant a lot to you. It was a complicated situation. The suddenness of it all the sole problem. 

You didn’t want to talk about Seokjin. You didn’t want to compare the two men, even though throughout the day your mind had tried to. In all honestly, both were very different, but both were good men. There was no winner, there was no loser. It just happened that you couldn’t ignore this chance with Hoseok. Not when he had been there first. Maybe looking at it now, you and Seokjin were different kinds of people. Maybe the relationship wasn’t as perfect as you’d thought. Not your perfect anyway. It could’ve worked out yes, but you knew he deserved someone better than you. Someone different to you. 

You realised something at that moment. Seokjin had always found your quirkiness adorable, but Hoseok found it normal. You didn’t know what that meant, but it made sense in your own head. It made you happy. You were here, in front of one another, on a date. Nothing else mattered.  

“If you hadn’t have done it we wouldn’t be here right now.” You told him. It was no good just thinking everything in your head. You needed to tell Hoseok some things. You wanted to tell him how happy you were. “On a dateee.” 

He laughed, relaxing into his chair. “We’re on a date!” 

He couldn’t quite believe it still. You laughed at how cute he was being and looked around. “You chose the fanciest place.” 

“Yeah,” he murmured, looking a little sheepish. “Did I go over the top? Feel like I did.” He stopped and then laughed. “I hope your heels aren’t too high, we gotta run outta here when they fetch the bill.” 

“Hobi,” you whined. He didn’t need to make a joke like that. Then you thought of something else. You hoped he didn’t take you here because he thought you expected it. Any restaurant would’ve done. “Hey,” you said softly. “I hope you don’t still believe all that stuff about you just being a bartender.” He shrugged a little sheepish. “I teach adults how to write fiction and I’m not too hot at it. Half of them are failing.” 

He chuckled at that, picking up his glass of wine. “I think the problem probably lies with them not you.” 

You looked at him, needing him not to laugh this off. You wanted him to see you didn’t care what job he had. “My point is, my job isn’t all that glamorous. It doesn’t have to be.” You thought he liked his job. It should never be used as something to separate you. 

He sighed softly, giving in. “I’m sorry I laid all that stuff on you. They’re my insecurities not yours. It’s just after… Just after the breakup with Minah. The stuff she said to me really stuck.” 

You reached for one of his hands, grasping is fingers. The warmth was all you needed. “I get that.” You still had some insecurities left over from your breakup with Seungwoo, but with Hoseok none of those things mattered. “I’m sorry for calling you childish, and selfish.” 

“And mean. Don’t forget mean,” he joked. 

“And mean.” You looked away sheepishly, before realising you needed to look him in the eyes for this. “I don’t want you to be insecure around me. I like you for you.” 

He chuckled quietly, squeezing your hand. “Thank you.” 

“I think it’s cool that you work at a bar.” You wanted to lighten the moment now, shrugging. “But maybe that’s because of the free drinks you give me.” 

He laughed, both of you pulling your hand back to carry on eating. “I’m actually not allowed to do that, but you’re so pretty how could I not?” 

You felt your cheeks flush at his casual remark. “You think I’m pretty?” 

“Very much so. Plus other things…” 

You smiled shyly. “I find you pretty too. Huh?” You noticed the face he pulled. “Is that not a good thing?” 

“I’m not pretty,” he baffled. 

“Are too.” You insisted. You’d always thought so, especially when he smiled. “I think you’re sexy too. Very sexy.” 

“Oh yeah?” He seemed to like that one better. “What’s so sexy about me?” 

You looked down at his wine. It wasn’t the right alcohol, but it made you remember something. “I like the way you drink beer. You gargle it a little.” 

“I do?” He looked puzzled. 

“Yeah, you do, and I don’t know, it’s kinda hot.” He looked chuffed at that. “What about me?” You added. 

“Hm,” he thought out loud. “It’s not really sexy, maybe a little misogynistic,” he laughed, “but I like when you struggle to open things. Like that bag of chips last week. When you ask for my help, I don’t know, it makes me feel good about myself.” 

It made him feel good when he opened a bag of chips for you? You awed loudly. “That’s so sweet, Hobi.” 

He scoffed, a little embarrassed. “Oh.” He remembered something. “I like when guys mistake me for your boyfriend.” 

You cocked an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? I like that too. And vice versa.” You had never been able to pinpoint why in the past. It was usually gone before you could even try to explain it, but it had still been there. Numerous times. You’d just been clueless. 

“Isn’t this scary?” You asked. It was new and exciting, and you were happy, but it was also weird to be here. Sat opposite your friend, your roommate… the man you had feelings for. The man who up until a few nights ago, had a crush on another woman. No wonder he hadn’t really cared when Namjoon asked if he could bone Nara. And he, well he was sitting opposite you, who up until last night had a boyfriend. Talk about whiplash. This was crazy. 

“It’s the scariest thing I’ve ever done,” he admitted. 

“We’re like best friends, but is it because we’ve always had feelings for one another?” 

Hoseok upturned his shoulders. “I honestly have no clue. It makes sense, but…” 

“But at the same time it doesn’t?” You finished for him. He nodded. If he had never kissed you that night, then this wouldn’t be happening right now. Maybe it would’ve never happened. You would’ve kept missing one another. The moment never there for him and you probably oblivious until it was too late… 

But that wasn’t the case now. You were both here. Suddenly and maybe not in the best of circumstances, but you were here. That’s all that mattered. Was there really such a thin like between friendship and lovers? You tried imagining kissing Namjoon but couldn’t do it. It made you feel weird. Not the same weird you’d felt locked in the closet with Hoseok. 

“I don’t want to ruin what we have already but I can’t ignore these feelings I have for you.” Hoseok explained. “I’ve been repressing them for so long they’re uncontrollable.” He chuckled. 

“Same. I think.” You were beginning to realise that love didn’t have to punch you in the face immediately for it to be the real thing. “If I ignore how I feel about you I’ll spontaneously combust. I know it. I will.” These feelings had hit you full force and now you couldn’t ignore them even if you tried. 

He chuckled at your passion. “I don’t want you to spontaneously combust.” A thought popped into his head. “What will Yoongi say? Namjoon?” He groaned, rubbing his temples.  “What do we even tell them?” 

“Maybe we won’t tell them for a little while?” You suggested. You didn’t want to share this new, uncertain thing with other people just yet. The loft wasn’t the best set up in this situation. “Just until we work out what’s going on between us?” 

“Like keeping it a secret?” 

“I know it’s not ideal but I don’t want to mess this up.” He nodded, agreeing with you. “If we try and fail our friendship could get ruined. That terrifies me, Hobi.” You wanted to be honest here. All cards on the table. “I love you a lot. I don’t want to jeopardise anything.” 

“Hey, hey, nothing will get ruined, I promise you,” he reassured, reaching for your hand with both of his. “We’ll take it as slow as you want. This is new and if we do it properly then everything will be okay in the end.” He gave you a gentle smile. “Whatever the outcome. If we decide to move forward or decide to just stay friends, we’ll be okay.” 

Maybe that’s why you’d never realised your feelings for him. Why he’d never said anything. Your friendship meant too much to one another. If that was ruined somehow it would kill you both. But it didn’t have to be like that. If you both saw the potential danger, you could avoid it best you could. You shouldn’t be thinking of the potential end if it was only just the beginning. 

“You’re right,” you smiled back. 

Letting go of your hand he relaxed back into the chair again. “But for tonight, let’s think of this as a new thing. It’ll take the pressure off us.” 

“How do you mean?” You asked, curious. He had a giant smirk on his face. 

He shrugged. “Maybe we met on Tinder. Decided to go for a drink.” 

Oh. Okay, you saw where he was going. A little bit of make believe. That sounded fun. You and Hoseok always messed around like this. Why would it change? “Yeah,” you nodded, getting into it instantly. “We liked what we saw. I liked the way you dress.” 

He snorted. “You hate my dress sense. You told me I dress like a twenty year old hipster.”  

“I like it!” You insisted. You mean, in your defence you’d only said that because he’d said you dressed like a granny. He’d started it. 

“Thank you.” He was satisfied, you both could commence. “I liked your glasses. Reminded me of the librarian kink I had in high school.” 

“Eww.” You wrinkled your nose. “Weirdo.” You both laughed loudly. 

.

.

“Goodnight, pretty lady. I’ll see you in the morning,” Hoseok murmured. The night was over, the loft was empty, the guys probably already in bed, when you got back and you both walked down the hallway to your rooms, stopping outside to say goodnight. 

“Lame,” you scoffed, but he could tell by your face you loved it. “Night.” 

He leaned in for a kiss. It seemed like he was trying to keep it brief, nothing like last night or two nights before that, but no matter how hard he tried, it lingered. It was painful pulling apart and walking into your bedroom. You knew he was trying to be chivalry, and patient, and whatever else, but there was an itch inside you that screamed to be relieved. 

You pressed the back of your head up against the door, closing your eyes and taking a few breaths. Praying the desire you felt would ebb away. You heard movement from the other side. 

“Slow, we should take this slow.” Hoseok almost whined from outside.  

You opened your eyes immediately and flung the door open. You were on him in an instant, kissing him eagerly. Thankful your rooms were the other side of the loft from Namjoon’s and Yoongi’s. There would he no explaining this, and you didn’t want to share this with anyone else yet. Not to be careful, not just in case, like you’d originally thought, but because you were selfish. You wanted Hoseok for yourself. 

“I really want you. Like so bad,” you panted, hands all over his body. You wanted him out of his shirt. Out of his pants. Thoughts and images jumped into your mind. You were a woman possessed. “I’ve waited too long already. Please.” 

“Don’t beg like that.” His voice was so low, maybe even a growl, and it did things to you. 

You didn’t want to take this slow. Everything was already perfect. No matter what had happened to get here, it was all perfect now. 

You couldn’t wait a moment longer. You needed to be with him. 

“Pleaseee,” you said purposefully. 

He growled this time. For real. “I said don’t–ah, fuck it!” You exclaimed out loud as he picked you up from the middle, legs dangling alongside his as he walked into your room. He let go and cupped your face tight. He was breathing heavily. “I really want this, I really like you. I’m sure of it. Now that this is finally happening. Now I finally had the guts to make a move. This is for real.” 

You blinked. “Forreal for real?” 

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Never been more certain of anything in my entire life.” 

And then he was kissing you again. You never wanted it to stop. With shaky hands you took his and began to lead him backwards towards your bed…

*bonus* 

“Morning,” Hoseok smiled from above you. 

You’d only just woken up, eyes still blurry, but you rubbed them and rolled onto your back. “Good morning,” you smiled back. 

He rubbed his hand over your waist under the covers, now grinning like he couldn’t stop it. “We did that.” 

You were still naked. So was he. What a thought. “We really did that.” 

“Twice.” 

You hummed, reliving last nights antics. It was just so natural. The sex you mean. No awkwardness, no nerves. It was just…perfect. Giggling and messing around, just like you were as friends. Nothing had changed. Only now you were probably going to be bumping uglies on the regular… It was only right to make a new suggestion now. “Wanna make it a third?” 

“Thought you’d never ask,” he laughed, dipping his head to kiss your neck. You let yourself sink, closing your eyes and enjoying the moment until you remembered something. 

“Wait, wait—!” Your eyes flew open. “What’s the time?” 

Hoseok stopped and looked back, craning his neck to catch the time on your alarm clock. “Twenty past 7.” 

You groaned. “I have a class in 2 hours.” 

“Uhh,” he started awkwardly, pecking your lips. “This is new n’ all but I don’t want to get your hopes up so early into this. I will never be able to last two hours. You’ll be fine. You won’t miss class,” he chuckled. 

“Shut up,” you groaned, kissing him just to roll him on his back. The thought of leaving this bed today was depressing. “I’m just going to call in sick anyway.” You told him, pulling away.

He stroked his fingers through your hair, smirking. “Oh, a bad girl, huh?” 

You narrowed your eyes. If he wanted you to be bad, you could be bad. “Get a condom, Jung.” 

[vocalyunho]

Losers

Part 2 of bad boy! Yunho, part 1 here

pairing — bad boy! Yunho x reader (fem)

genre — angst with a sprinkle of smut, fluff.

word count — 4k

warnings — explicit language, lots of kissing, (almost) handjob, talk about inner self and emotions.

synopsis — After the night of the dare, Yunho has to cope with his new -to him- self. Realizing that getting you out of his head was impossible, he decides to visit you. However, you misunderstand the reason he came to see you, but he needs to make himself clear.

A/N: first of, thank you all for appreciating the first part & sending me so nice messages! Secondly, I noticed (once again) that I can’t write angst to save my damn life, so I’m sorry again if this one’s messy or doesn’t reach your expectations. Your feedback is very much appreciated, please don’t stay silent :’)

Everything was spinning around him. The lights, even though dim, seemed too bright for him and his red eyes, the music was too loud and bothersome, the accrual smoke was choking him,  Yunho’s head was throbbing but his thoughts were clear in his mind. You. That green poison he’s been smoking and all the alcohol he’s consumed, did nothing. You’re still living, rent free, in his mind and he can’t do anything to get you out of there. The way your lips had nibbled on his neck and the way you’d looked at him, that night, when his hands were under your shirt were still in his mind. You looked so innocent, yet so confident. So helpless, yet so determined to win the game and he was just the conduit for that, nothing more.

Yunho walked slowly towards Hongjoong’s crowded living room and flopped on the couch clumsily. His legs spread in an attempt to feel his body and his hands rested on each side of his body as he swallowed a few times with effort. The aforementioned man has been gone for a while now. Last time he saw Hongjoong, was when a girl was dragging him into his bedroom, both probably too drunk and ready to relieve all the accumulated sexual tension built through drinking and dancing on each other. His eyes couldn’t stay open anymore, he let them fall shut as his head rested on the back of the couch. He needed some quiet for once, maybe he should leave but only after he feels ready to walk to his own apartment. He knew this would happen and he was wise enough not to ride his motorcycle that night. Every time he’s in Hongjoong’s, he always ends up like this, high and fucked up, but not like tonight. Tonight, he went beyond his limits, he was determined to get you out of his mind but all he succeeded in, was thinking of you more.

He almost felt peaceful for a bit until he felt someone straddling him and as he opened his eyes, a girl with too revealing clothes was sitting on his lap, already grinding on his crotch. He gasped at the sudden pressure on his cock and looked at her with heavy eyes “how about we go to the bathroom and you fuck me on the countertop, like this one time, remember?”, she whispered snuggling against his neck “I want those inked arms around my throat so bad”, she moaned but he couldn’t even remember who she was, let alone the fact that he was inside her in the recent past. In any other situation, he’d already be on his feet and up for some fun but now he only turned his head the other way, “I need to leave”.

“oh c’mon”, she tried to hug him but he was fast to break free from her embrace “I said I need to leave”, he moved her on the seat next to him and stood up, heading for the door.

“dude, are you leaving already?”, Wooyoung shouted from the other side of the apartment but Yunho only wore his leather jacket and moved his two fingers, gesturing goodbye to him.

Once he was home, the bed seemed more captivating than a hot shower. His legs couldn’t keep him up longer, after all. Everything was still spinning, except now he’s in the safety of his own home and random girls aren’t coming up to him asking for sex in bathrooms. He fell asleep in a matter of seconds and, maybe, these little hours he slept where the only ones you weren’t wandering around his mind, in the conscious part, at least.

-------------------------------------------

Waking up early everyday to study isn’t the easiest thing, especially when you work late every night. If you wanna keep your health you’ll have to quit that job, but for now you need the money it offers.

Lately all your days are either spent in the library or in a cafe, studying for the upcoming exams and the nights...they’re always spent in the bar, moving around filled glasses and taking them back empty. And that’s exactly what’s happening now and you still have an hour to go till you can get back to the warmth of your sweet home. 

Bars are...lovely. Well, not your favourite places to be, but considering that most youths spend their time in clubs, bars are much more preferred. The music is low enough to share a good conversation with someone, but still loud enough to enjoy the melodies themselves. The decoration is much more genteel than clubs and cafes, the clients more kind and free to come in dressed in anything they find pretty or comfortable. The vibes are more chill, collected, nonchalant, if you will, and there’s a balance in everything that’s hard to find in other places. 

You’ve been moving around beautifully decorated cocktails all night and if it wasn’t for the -not so high- heels you’ve been wearing, you’d be enjoying doing so. You can feel your heels and ankles starting to burn but there’s only an hour left, you can do it. 

Once you were back to take the newly made drinks from the bartender, the door of the bar opened fast and a male entered. Usually, you know who enters. The bar is small and by far not one of the famous ones in the city, so the clients are pretty much the same and especially on weekends. But this one…no, you didn’t know him. He wore black jeans and a black leather jacket with a white t-shirt underneath. You noticed the brown timberland shoes, not many people around you wear those, and his features…you couldn’t identify them due to the sunglasses he was wearing and his head that hang low. This man really entered a bar which already had dim lighting, at 2AM, with sunglasses on. Your eyebrows furrowed and the bartender gestured for you to take his order once he was sat. A helmet hang from the man’s right hand and moving slowly, he found a table on the very back of the place to sit. It felt like you were in a movie, where a stranger enters a pub, and everyone stares at him until he takes a gun out and starts shooting.

You moved to his table with your mind still on how your feet hurt and spoke politely “hello, what can I get for you?”

“you”

“excuse me?”

He raised his head and your insides felt like they twisted…not in the bad way, actually exactly the opposite. Yunho stared at you, you assumed, but after he took the sunglasses off you were sure he did. But he wasn’t the same. Even with the dim lighting of the place you could see how his eyes were red, he must’ve been (crying) smoking something. It wouldn’t be beyond belief, if he did.

“I wanna talk to you”, he spoke with a deep voice and it reminded you of his voice the night of the dare.

“I’m sorry, I’m working. Now what can I get for you?”

“when’s your shift over? I’ll wait”, he spoke fast as he rested his elbows on the table, moving his upper body forward. His body language proved tension spreading in his system and his voice sounded desperate, but you couldn’t figure out why.

“what can I get for you?”

“please”

“is a whiskey fine?”

“it’s important”

“is a whiskey fine?”

“…yeah”

He stayed there, drinking and following you with his gaze. Truth is, there was nothing for you to talk about, even if you really wanted to, too. The only real interaction you had was that night and you had made it clear to him that it should be forgotten and especially not be told to anyone. Yet there he was now, wanting to talk to you and God knows how he found out you worked there.

When it striked 3AM, you headed for the ‘employees’ only’ room to change the uncomfortable outfit and the even more uncomfortable shoes. Your mind was still on Yunho though who was out there waiting for you and a million questions flooded your mind. How did he find out about the bar you’re working for? What is the important thing he wants to talk to you about? Will he follow you to your apartment? And what- “hey”, you flinched at the sudden voice and turned your head fast only to see him right in the entrance.

“you’re not allowed to be in here”, you said calmly as you tied your second shoelace.

“I need to talk to you”

“we have nothing to say, now please leave. Only employees can enter here”, you stood up, heading for your locker to take your forest green jacket as he remained silent. You wore it fast and took your backpack, ready to leave but once you turned around he was there, right behind you with his head bent forward to reach your eye level.

“fuck, you scared me”, your back hit the locker and your hand reached for your chest where your heart beat faster at the abrupt presence.

“I felt something”

“I told you to leave, I’ll call the manager”

“I’ve never felt anything before…for anyone”

“YUNHO, LEAVE”

“you still remember my name”, he smiled and let his eyes fall on your lips and you really thought he must be high on something.

An awkward silence filled the room and his words got replayed in your head “ask that one more time and I’ll make sure you never forget it again”. He had achieved it…you couldn’t forget his name ever again. You couldn’t forget anything that happened that night ever again.

You looked anywhere but at him until he grabbed your chin with his thumb and index finger and forced your head up to look in his eyes. The inked thumb played with your bottom lip, lightly pulling it down to expose your bottom teeth as his eyes remained glued on yours. You fought the urge to suck on it, but your knees weakened just at the thought. He looked good, like a god in your eyes.

“You made me like this”, he pointed at himself.

“like what?”

“look at me, I’m a wreck!”

“I did nothing!”

“I can’t get you out of my fucking head! I keep trying and trying but-!”

“Yunho, please leave”, you pressed your eyebrows together, raising them at the same time. If he continued you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep your thoughts locked inside your mind for long.

“You’re ruining me!”

He widened his eyes and his voice got higher at that, like he just realized. If only he knew he was ruining you, too…but you thought he was ruining you in a completely different way. You had succeeded in winning the dare, but not in what he had warned you about. Not one day had passed without thinking of him and you were so mad at yourself for that, yet you couldn’t stop it. And every time you’d randomly see him on campus, your mind would go back to the dare and how he held you and how he had stopped his hands from moving when he realized you weren’t comfortable and how you so wanted to know him more than that, to know the real him. You were falling for him but, of course, you wouldn’t accept it. It’s not logical, you can’t fall for someone you don’t know. However, it all felt familiar. It felt like you were, again, reading one of those -way too corny- romantic novels in which the girl fell for the bad guy. They always ended with the guy taking the one thing he wanted and the girl having a broken heart and right now…you feel like you are the protagonist in one of those novels and he…he’s only there to take that one thing he always wants (however, me as the omniscient writer, I can guarantee you he meant you were ruining him the same way he ruined you).

“fuck, I need you”, he crashed his lips on yours fast, still holding your chin and now his other hand found your waist and held on it tightly but still loosely enough for you to break free if you wanted, but you didn’t. Your eyes fluttered close and you gave in, in an instant. How could you not? All you’ve been thinking about is him, but you knew it wasn’t right. He is Yunho, he’s a player, he’s nothing like you, he’s not for you. But the sweetness of the awry is too captivating not to give in. Your lips moved against his in an open mouthed kiss, your tongues danced together and your saliva got mixed with his, until he groaned and broke the kiss in need of air. You rested your head against the locker and looked up at him, his head hang low again…

“don’t you have anything to say?”, he spoke softly and you realized it was the first time you ever heard him talk like that, without anger or sarcasm in his voice.

“what do you expect me to say?”, you were too stuck to your mindset to notice the little things “that I’m glad you can’t forget how well you fucked me or to thank you for coming back for a second round?”, it hurt to say these. But Yunho was always a player, he always slept with girls and never spoke to them again and you obviously were one of them now.

“what? No”

“then what?”

“don’t you understand?” his eyebrows furrowed as he took a step back to take all your features in “I’ve never felt anything like this before. It was all about sex to me…always! I only cared about that. I only wanted my needs to be taken care of but that night…of the dare, I felt things for you and I got so fucking scared…that wasn’t me!”, a vein on his forehead was visible “I’ve warned all the girls I’ve ever been with not to catch feelings for me because I won’t be there for them. I’m not the type to get in relationships because attachment, that shit scares me! Yet, after we…did it, it hurt me to think I was only your way to win a game, a fucking game!”

“maybe it was your turn to feel how the girls you’re playing with, really feel”

That hurt.

He stayed silent for a bit. His mind was hazy and he couldn’t lie to himself, he had thought that this was the revenge that had been waiting for him.

“I’m a fucking asshole and I deserved it and maybe…this was a lesson for me but-” his expression proved pain “I can’t stop thinking about you and I hate myself for that…”

“…because I wanted to be more than just a dare to you…”

Your heart felt like it’d fly out of your chest and your breath got caught in your throat.

  “…but I know I can’t change your mind about me, goddamnit!”

His fist hit the locker next to you, before turning around to walk in the room. Your heart clenched, realizing the meaning of his words. You weren’t the only one feeling differently. His head looked towards the ceiling and the new silence that filled the place gave you the chance to think and, maybe, now you know why his eyes have been red and it’s not from smoking something.

He’s hurting…and it’s the first time he’s feeling something like this, this type of pain.

He is finding himself, the self that’s been hiding under the tough, bad guy image he’s exposing to everyone. He needed this pain to finally see inside him and find the real him.

But he was wrong about one thing. You never had a complete opinion about him, therefore there was nothing for him there to change. There was only empty space where he could build the image about him in your head, and you wanted him to do that. You wanted him to put the foundations of his real image.

“Yunho”

“I’ve never let myself get attached to anyone but I only now realized that it’s uncontrollable. All this time I wasn’t controlling who I’ll get attached to and who not, it just didn’t happen…until I met you”. He, finally, turned to face you again.

He walked close to you again “and I know this will make me sound like a loser and, maybe, I am but…I think I’m falling for you”.

Your heart skipped a couple of beats, you’re sure about that, but his eyes were the most genuine ones you’ve seen in a while “Yunho-”

He shushed you by inhaling, ready to speak again but you were fast to prevent him “no, Yunho let me talk”, his eyes seemed sad but you got a hold of his hands that hang on each side of his body, to bring his attention back on you.

“I think I’m falling for you too”

You said fast and his breath got caught in his throat. Of course he didn’t expect to hear that. Your mind was going crazy at the moment with all the things you wanted to say but decided to only speak the important ones.

“…but I don’t think it’s right. You’ve been playing with girls all your life Yunho, maybe it’s in your nature, I don’t know…”

“but I can’t lie, I can’t stop thinking about you either…”, your eyes flickered between his.

You wanted him and he wanted you, it was obvious by both parties by now. You were willing to help him discover his real self and you were especially willing to let yourself fall in love but you were too inexperienced too to bear the pain it could cause you, if it didn’t work out.

“…I felt things too you know but you don’t know, even a little, how love feels and I can’t just be your lab rat, just one more experience for you. I can’t let myself fall deep and then have my heart shattered, I can’t take it!”, your eyebrows raised sympathetically and tears threatened to wet your cheeks.

“I know how it is to feel loved and now…I think I’m ready to be the one who loves, I’m ready to learn and-”

“I’m scared, Yunho”, your eyes met the marbled floor between your bodies.

“I’m scared too”

Both of you weren’t the most experienced people when it came to love and, especially, Yunho. But you wanted to try and learn and, even, fall for each other and Yunho didn’t want to give up on the first strong feelings he’s ever had. This meant something.

“but we can…”

“…discover ourselves together…just give me a chance-”, he held your hands in his. His eyes were glistening, like a million pieces of hope were in them.

“I don’t know, Yunho”

“let me make this work out and, maybe, if everything turns out well…I can call you mine”

Those tears that had been threating to fall, did wet your cheeks now as you looked at him again. No one had ever told you something like this before and you never thought you’d hear it for the first time from him. Yunho isn’t the guy everyone thought he was, he is much more than that. Maybe, he’s the meaning behind the saying: don’t judge a book by its cover. Yunho had never let his real emotions take over him and even if those emotions tried, he had his self locked up. It’s like his hidden self couldn’t take it anymore and when he met you the real him broke free from the cage Yunho, himself, had him locked up. If you connected all the dots, it made sense now. Yunho isn’t just a player, he’s an unexperienced boy who only wants to feel real attraction, instead of just the physical one. And maybe if you gave him the chance, he would.

“and I want to call you mine, too”

You’re indeed the protagonist of your own romantic novel but, no, this one won’t end like all the others.

“hell, I so wanna call you mine”, you shut your eyes tightly and exhaled…and your next words got Yunho dumbfounded.

“…let’s take it slowly…”

“…let’s start by being friends”

Yunho’s heart had never clenched so hard before. He thought he’d lose his balance right then and there and collapse like a child who had just found out that his brother had eaten the very precious sweet he’s been hiding from everyone. A soft frown found his lips as he spoke the first words that came to his dizzy mind.

“can friends do this?”

He cupped your cheeks and you felt his thumbs rub your apples, but you were the one to lean in this time. You kissed him hesitantly but he kissed back with no second thoughts. You didn’t wanna be his friend…you wanted to kiss his neck and his lips and his cheeks and all his being and, maybe, love him too. He took your arm and threw it over his shoulder and you wrapped them both around his neck. This kiss was slower than before, more passionate like there was meaning behind it. A tingling feeling was sent down your spine when you noticed none of you rushed to make it deeper. It was just enough to feel how the emotions he was experiencing were new to him and you were sure now, you’re willing to help him welcome them.

“because, if they can, I don’t think I’ll be able to call you friend for long”

“friends don’t do what I’m about to do either”, you said and let your hand slide down all the way from his neck, through his t-shirt, and to his jeans and rested it on his soft member. You didn’t know why you did that, but you knew the vibe was so different from the last time you had touched him there, more endearing, if you will. He stiffened sensibly and let his head hung low as a small moan left his lips. His hands found the hem of your t-shirt and, letting them slip underneath the fabric, he grasped your sides with the whole of his large palms.

Your lips found each other’s again in a sloppier kiss and with eyes flattered shut and heavy breaths against the other’s skin, your hand slipped under the jeans and the thin material of his boxers. You caressed him slowly, receiving a hum turned into a groan from him.

“yeah they don’t…but losers who fall for each other, do”

He said and pinched your sides making you take your hand out of his jeans. You stared at him for a while. Maybe if you both tried, you could learn together and you could fall together and you could help each other find your real selves.

Collecting his thoughts, for the first time after a long time, Yunho took your hand in his. You walked out of the ‘employees only’ room and the bar, with him guiding you like you didn’t know the place.

“Let me take my friend on a friend date for friends”

“I would accept if it wasn’t 4am…”

You wouldn’t be able to call him friend for long, either…

[spytap]

That Time I Maybe Accidentally Slid Between Universes On The Lower East Side: A Modern Pizza Brigadoon

Okay, we’re trying this again. With the words. Let’s give it a shot.

I was telling this story over the weekend, and it struck me that it’s something I’ve never really written down. But I think it’s worth documenting - you know, for science.

I guess I have to preface this by saying that I’m not the type of person to accept the unexplainable. In the Mulder/Scully matrix of assumptions, I lean much more Scully, assuming that most things have a reasonable explanation once more data is uncovered or known. I say that just so that I can say that one time while on a business trip to New York, I’m pretty sure I drunkenly dropped back and forth between parallel universes Sliders-style while trying to grab a slice.

Right, so let’s set the stage of our merry little fever dream of a play, shall we?

It’s 1:30am and I am drunk.

Wait, let’s be clear: I’m not just “I’m in New York and let’s have some fun” drunk, I’m “we’re at a digital media event and it’s the late oughts” drunk. I think it was the Webbies, but who knows. It could have been social media week or any number of other things. But if you were in the DM scene at the time, you remember (or not…) that any event which brought together the weird crossover between tech, social media, and nascent web video had, at its intersection, going hard in the motherfucking paint, if you get my drift.

The late oughts were where SXSW got its reputation as an epic and riotous shitshow where long term memories went to die. Companies lived and died by the parties they threw way out in the wasteland that was “anywhere off of sixth street.” It set the scene for an arms race of irresponsibility that wouldn’t peter out until about 2012. And New York, being much larger than Austin and with a scrappy underdog of a tech industry, had a reputation to uphold.

So that’s how I find myself at my third after party, in a bar called (I think?) Ford’s, on the lower east side, surrounded by the technorati, glitterati, and all other manner of descriptive terms for young, pretty, newly and soon-to-be rich people, before we discovered that they were called “influencers.”

This bar is a proper dive. Not quite “you could destroy everything in here and you’d be out like fifteen bucks” but still well into “you’re gonna need more than a new paint job once the artisan cheese shops roll into this neighborhood.” Put in 2009 money, we were still getting five dollar beers in Manhattan, so do with that what you will.

Back to the story: right around 1:30AM, I’m thinking three things: 1) I would very much like to slam an inordinate amount of pizza into my mouth, 2) I probably need to use the restroom before I do so, and 3) The four or five people I’m with are probably feeling the same way. So I check in with my crew, tell them I’m gonna hit the head and then we’re gonna hit some pizza. First things first though: I gotta get some crucial info from the bartender.

I saunter up to the bar and ask where I can get a slice. The sole bartender, a man who is both younger and exponentially cooler than me, tells me “New York’s best pizza is two blocks up and one left.”

“New York’s best?” I clarify, because wouldn’t that be a coincidence?

“Yep, New York’s best pizza. Two blocks up, one left.”

Well, I know that everyone thinks they know the best pizza in town, but this dude looks like he’s a perpetual trend setter, so it feels like it has a higher-than-average likelihood of relative goodness. Besides, I’ve assaulted my sense well past the realm of good taste, so as long as it’s not cooked on a literal garbage can, it should serve it’s purpose. I pop the directions into the old memory banks, and wander off through the broken door that indicates relief (and, in retrospect, possibly tetanus.)

True to its dive bar requirements, this restroom is super classy you guys. Just above the pee trough (like an actual six foot long trough that horses would drink out of) (in other circumstances) there’s a mirror where someone has carved “Smoke Beer” - a particular exercise that I contemplate for far too long. Is this a flavor profile of some cheeky new porter? Are they suggesting you replace your bong water with Budweiser? Or is this an actual “get a beaker and some burners and let’s get high in the science lab” situation?

Regardless, my attention turns back to the core mission: Operation Pizza Face Hole Intersection. So I push away the culinary suggestion, zip up, and return to the main room to find…no one.

I don’t mean my friends were gone. I mean that when I left to pee, there was somewhere between 150 and 200 people in this bar, and now there were two. And I was one of them. The other one is a bartender, but very crucially, not the bartender I was just speaking to one or two or five hundred billion minutes ago. This is a new bartender. He’s older. And has a beard. This is very distinctly a different person, but I’m still hung up on the reality that there is no one else in this bar except for him and me.

I look at this new bartender. He looks at me. I look around to see if maybe my friends are hiding behind something, but this place doesn’t even have tables, let alone hiding spaces. I look back. He’s still looking at me. So I do the only logical thing to do in this scenario: I run away.

Outside, I pull out my blackberry (shut up) and call my friends. Voicemail. Every one. No one picks up. I text them “where the fuck are you assholes” but drunkenly, on a keyboard the size of a postage stamp, so they don’t write back, even to clarify whether I just had a stroke.

Something has definitely gone horribly wrong. I am very drunk in a strange part of a strange city. Everyone I know and several dozen complete strangers have been Thanos-snapped into the ether of the universe. I am alone and have no real understanding of how to get home from here. But, you know, I also still really want pizza. So I do the only thing that truly makes sense in this scenario: I start walking towards pizza.

One block up, things start getting weird(er). Now weird in nighttime Manhattan isn’t quite as weird as it used to be, and I’ve spent a fair amount of time in Venice Beach, so my weird meter is a little skewed compared to most people. But it’s as-near-as-matters-2am now and the streets of the lower east side are deserted, except for…

Look, there’s no way to say this without sounding like I’m writing a David Lynch spec, so I’m just gonna say it and you’re gonna have to trust me here.

Directly in front of me there is a group of a dozen or so seven to ten year old girls playing double dutch in the middle of the street. A totally normal sight at 2pm - less so at 2am. There are no adults here. Or anywhere. Except me. And right as I notice them, they notice me. They don’t stop their monotone chanting, they just continue to do so while swiveling their heads to follow me like a leopard follows a [whatever leopards eat - I’m not looking it up on Wikipedia right now.]

So once again: empty streets in the LES, except for me and a gaggle of girls wielding a pair of twin jump ropes. And chanting. I briefly wonder if they’re okay and why they’re out here all along performing what’s starting to sound more and more like some pagan ritual before I keep fucking walking because there’s no scenario in which any good comes from me stopping and hanging around. But I start thinking that I need a witness here.

The blessing of living in California and spending a lot of time in New York is actually time. More specifically, that you can call your girlfriend at what’s almost your 2AM and she’ll still be up and wondering what the absolute fuck you’re talking about when you open with “I hope I didn’t wake you but everyone disappeared and I’m kind of scared because there’s this creepy group of girls playing double dutch but I think it’s going to be alright because I’m walking to get pizza.”

We’d been together for a while at that point, so thankfully I’d build up a reservoir of good graces to pull from in moments like these.

Witness achieved, I told her precisely (ish) where I was, so the police could find my body, and continued my Epic Pizza Quest. Two blocks up, and one block left, where I found…

New York’s Best Pizza. That’s the goddamned name. Motherfucking hipster bartenders.

It’s open, for some reason, and empty for good reason, but after some back and forth that includes “well I don’t have any and I’d have to make a full pizza” and “I understand but I don’t want a full fucking pizza, I just want a slice” I get a couple slices and, for lack of anything better to do, decide to head back to Ford’s.

Now you might be asking yourself, dear reader, why I would march back through a fae revelry towards a crack in the universe, and that’s a very good question. The answer is that I was very drunk at the time.

So back I went.

The children were still there, still playing double dutch. (In my memory of this, they’re doing everything slowly and in a minor key, but it’s likely they were normal speed and tone, and I was just perceiving things slowly for chemical reasons.) My phone comes out again and I subtly (HA) narrate my way through this gauntlet to my girlfriend (and for the police report) and back towards the bar/Tardis.

Which brings us to our climax. See, there’s something even more disconcerting than leaving a restroom to find an erstwhile packed bar with naught but tumbleweeds, and that’s coming back to the deserted bar and finding it full again. Like packed full. Like normal full. Like Digital Media Event after party full. You know, like you remembered it pre-restroom (which is as weird a sentence to type as it is, I imagine, to read.)

I immediately run into my friends, who not only know nothing at all about the empty bar, but proclaim that they’ve been looking for me for “like an hour.” They’ve called and texted me, they say, which is ludicrous because I’ve been using my phone and I would have…

I looked at my phone. I had seven missed calls. A dozen texts. None of which were on my phone when I used it just moments ago, but all of which were timestamped over the past hour-ish.

I call my girlfriend again. Please pick up.

“Did you just talk to me and did I just tell you about everyone disappearing and the bar being totally empty and the weird creepy double dutch girls and getting into an argument with the pizza guy at New York’s Best Pizza?” I shouted into the phone, to the absolute horror of my friends (who were probably wondering what legal obligations they had to return me to my hotel and/or the insane asylum before I hurt myself.)

“Yes…” she responded, probably wondering what obligations she had to guide me to my hotel and/or the insane asylum before I hurt myself.

“Good!” I shouted, and promptly hung up, having proven my sanity, but really testing the depths of that aforementioned reservoir of goodwill. She would later tell me that somehow the second phone call was weirder than the first.

Moving past my friends, I stormed back into the bar. The bartender (the first one, the hipster one, the human one) clocked me coming in, but before he could open his mouth to ask what was probably going to be a very friendly question about whether I found the pizza place, or did I want to close out the tab I’d left open, instead got to be on the receiving end of me shouting “You sent me to a really fucking weird pizza place!” before marching out the door; thus cementing my reputation as a gifter of bizarre and inexplicable social interactions, and the probable punchline to someone else’s very different story.

For the rest of the week, my friends would swear up, down, sideways, sober, and drunk that no, the bar did not empty out; no, this was not a prank; no, they didn’t see me leave; and yes, they were in the very full and active bar the entire time I was gone.

It’s ten years later, and I don’t have an explanation for this event. I wouldn’t say it haunts me, but it’s definitely one of the weirder things that’s ever happened to me. And weirder still, in writing down this modern pizza-driven Brigadoon, I looked up Ford’s and New York’s Best Pizza just to see if I remembered their names right - and I can’t find any trace of either of them.

I’m still with the same girlfriend, and she still remembers the phone calls (vividly), but no one else was actually there, so no one else can verify the very weird set of events and circumstances that happened late that night, and into the early morning, across a series of overlapping universes.

Somewhere, out there in the ether of the multiverse, I imagine one version of me is still wondering where everyone went and yearning for a slice of New York’s Best Pizza.

[snowdice]

Popcorn and Podcasts (Part of the Cuffed Universe Series)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan/Remus/Virgil (a bit more Logan/Virgil focus)

Characters: Logan, Virgil, Remus

Summary: Logan has a little reunion with some people while doing his job at Target.

This is a Cuffed Universe fic.

Previous fics in this series:

Tea, Cookies, and Handcuffs

Matboards and Subway Sandwiches

Espionage and Iced Coffee

Extras:

Moving Day

Notes: Non-consensual drug use mentioned, morally grey Logan, cop Remus, fighting, biting, being restrained

Logan’s eyes scanned over the security camera footage. He knew this was just a Target and did not need perfect security, but…this was a horrible set up, honestly. He itched to fix it. He wanted to rewire camera 9 to get a clearer picture and to tilt camera 6 slightly to the left so there were fewer blind spots. There also really should be another camera by the food area and one near the computers if they wanted true coverage. Really, just one by the popcorn maker and another near the gaming shelf would completely… He shook himself. It was good that there wasn’t another camera near the gaming shelf. He wanted them to have a blind spot… even if the inadequacy made his eye twitch.

He checked his watch and turned to the laptop he’d brought. He’d have to wipe it after this because he was using the store’s wi-fi, but it was annoyingly slow anyway. At least he was only using it to track the hacked into correspondence about the drop. Nothing seemed to be amiss in the conversation there, so he turned back to the security cameras. Everything seemed fine, but he couldn’t help but be anxious about the blind spots made by their system. Perhaps he should do another walk around just to be sure. He already had enough popcorn to sustain him for a week from his last trip out, but perhaps he could get something to drink.

He glanced once again at his laptop before standing from the rolling chair and grabbing the security guard’s keys. This Target had extremely poor security. None of the minimum wage employees had questioned him being the new security guard in the last three days despite the fact that he had not been hired. He exited the security office and turned back to lock the door behind him. As he was doing so, a man opened the door to the employees only section of the store where the security guard office was located. Logan could see a red shirt out of the corner of his eye; it was likely an employee trying to get to the break room.

“Hey, dude,” the voice greeted mildly as he went to pass by. Logan turned on instinct at the sound of the very familiar voice. They locked eyes. “Lo-?” Virgil started, clearly surprised, but Logan jerked forward and shoved a hand over his mouth before he could finish. He made a muffled yelping noise and only Logan’s knowledge of the man’s 2am got-surprised-in-the-kitchen instincts kept Logan from getting a knee slammed into his groin. He swiped Virgil’s legs out from under him and rotated so that he was at the man’s back. His free arm came up to restrain him in a hug to keep his arms at his side.

An unhappy growling sound rumbled under Logan’s hand as Virgil jerked against the hold. Logan paused to think. After a couple of seconds, he made a decision and pulled back with his grip around his waist, causing him to lose his footing a bit. Teeth comped down on Logan’s palm. He winced, but it didn’t stop him from dragging the man back into the security office. He slammed the door closed behind him with his foot and then struggled to force Virgil into the chair Logan had been sitting in before.

Virgil was cursing him quite inventively by the time Logan managed to cuff both of his wrists to the armrests.

They stared at each other for a few long moments. Then Virgil kicked him.

It was a stupid endeavor considering he was restrained to a chair on wheels. The impact of the kick was rather gentle, and the man himself went flying across the office, almost toppling over backwards except that Logan lunged for him and managed to keep him from falling.

“That was a rather foolish venture.”

Virgil stared at him for a moment and then kicked him again. Logan winced as that kick hit a bit harder because Logan refused to let him go. Logan quickly turned him around and slammed the button with his foot to keep him from rolling anymore.

Logan rounded him, careful to stay out of kicking range and took a seat on the desk to look at him. “Hello Virgil,” Logan said. “It’s nice to see you again.” And it was. He had missed Virgil far more then he’d anticipated. He was not a stranger to leaving people behind, but it had taken much more effort to smother his melancholy over never seeing Virgil again than it usually did. Looking at him now, those smothered feelings came back, smarting far worse than the kick a couple of moments before.

“Seriously?” Virgil asked. “What the hell?! Why me?”

“I assure you this has nothing to do with you.”

“I still got tangled up in it again.”

“And I apologize for that, however you will have to stay here until I am through with my job.”

“What job?” Virgil asked. Logan just raised an eyebrow and refused to respond. “Why is the security guard office of Target your supervillain base anyway?”

“That does not concern you,” Logan said.

“It does if you’re going to handcuff me to a chair!”

Logan just hummed and turned back to glance at the security camera footage again.

He heard Virgil shifting around and testing his restraints behind him for a few minutes. “Please, Logan, just let me go,” he pleaded. “I won’t go to the police, I swear.” Logan picked up on a bit of a distressed Virgil tone. It should be easy to ignore. He didn’t need to make sure Virgil was content anymore. They didn’t live together, and Logan would face none of the future consequences of his discontent.

Logan blamed the fact that he turned around to face him on years of habit. He did not know what to blame for the way he felt his face soften when he looked at him. “I will be finished in about an hour, Virgil,” he said. “I just can’t have you interfering.”

“Yeah, and then after that are you going to leave me tied up here so I can hope someone happens to come by soon?”

Logan tilted his head at him. “You are upset about being left restrained last time.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“You were never in any danger. The drug truly wasn’t harmful, and Remus was bound to wake up, and I would have sent an anonymous tip to the police station if I didn’t hear anything through police traffic within a few hours.”

“Yeah, well, I have anxiety,” Virgil shot back.

Logan blinked at him. “My apologizes for any undue distress.”

“You can stick your apologies up your ass, Logan or whoever the fuck you are.” His eyes looked hurt, and Logan felt a strong impulse to reach out and touch, but considering Logan was the source of said hurt, he doubted it’d be welcome.

“I will be sure to arrange your release by 5pm,” Logan said. He tapped on the digital clock on the desk. “There is no need to worry until then.”

Virgil just frowned at him.

“How about one of your podcast shows to pass the time,” Logan suggested. He minimized the window with the chat on the laptop so he could pull up the podcast application he’d installed. “I have been keeping up with that one about North American cryptids. It is still just illogical pseudoscience. I believe a new episode was set to come out today.” He scrolled down to the newest episode of the podcast. “It seems to be about the ‘Skunk Ape’.”

“I… you still listen to that?” Virgil asked. “You hated that show.” And he still did. He had just… found himself listening to it anyway, especially on days where he couldn’t sleep.

“You liked it,” Logan said. They stared at each other for a long moment. “S-so, it should afford you some measure of calm until you are released.”

“How kind of you,” Virgil said darkly. Logan looked away from him and pressed play on the podcast. Logan ended up feeding him some of the copious amounts of popcorn he’d gotten from the food area earlier, but other than that, they didn’t interact much. The silence was not nearly as companionable as it had once been, and Logan became hyperaware of the angry glares Virgil kept throwing him.

About three quarters of the way through the episode, Logan looked over at the security feeds and cursed. “How the hell?” he asked.

“What?” Virgil asked through a mouthful of popcorn. Logan had set the large bag of popcorn on a table next to Virgil and had apparently been too slow in his hand feeding, because Virgil had chosen to lean over and pick up a few pieces of popcorn himself with his mouth. It was not the first time he’d seen Virgil eat popcorn like a horse eating from a morral, and it was just as disgustingly adorable as always.

Logan reached over to wipe his buttery mouth off with the handkerchief he kept in his pocket even as he was distracted by Detective Remus Royal’s dumb face which had been caught on camera near the entrance. He watched as Remus walked up to the help desk and showed his badge to the woman standing there.

“Is that Remus?” Virgil asked.

“First name basis?” Logan inquired with a raised eyebrow.

“You left me handcuffed to a kitchen table with his drugged ass,” Virgil said dryly. “I think I’ve moved past using his last name and title.  Not to mention I got to know him pretty well because he spent a couple of months interrogating me while trying to find you… Oh. Is he here looking for you?”

Probably, and damn him for getting this close. The bastard has never gotten close. The one time he’d caught Logan had been a complete fluke because they happened to book a room at the same motel. “Dammit,” he hissed when after a few moments of talking, the woman at the front desk nodded and let him behind the desk so he could enter the employees only door…

Logan and Virgil locked eyes briefly and then Virgil opened his mouth, readying to scream. Logan jumped forward and stuck the handkerchief in his mouth. “Apologies,” he mumbled. Virgil very clearly did not forgive him. In fact, Logan would have to make this quick because Virgil was already working the handkerchief out of his mouth when there was a knock on the door.

Logan turned to the door and flung it open. Remus seemed surprised that the door had opened so quickly and then even more surprised when he managed to process Logan’s face. Logan grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him inside before he could react, using momentum to throw him to the ground and shove a knee into his back.

“Ow! Shit!” Remus said as Logan kicked the door closed again. “Oh no you don’t!” Remus yelped when Logan’s hand went for the handcuffs on his waist. He rolled, managing to throw Logan off, but Logan was on him again in the next moment. He kneeled on one of his wrists to keep it pinned, but the other was free. Remus aimed a punch at Logan’s face, but Logan managed to block it. The second time he tried to punch Logan, Logan ducked out of the way and grabbed his wrist. Remus tugged roughly, but Logan still managed to reach over with his other hand and grab the handcuffs of his waist. “Damn you,” Remus said, trying his hardest to wiggle away and bucking. Logan ended up throwing one knee over his stomach to keep him in place so he could snap one of the cuffs on his wrist and the other on the leg of the heavy desk.

They stared at each other for a few seconds. “You know,” Remus said and clicked his tongue. “If you wanted to be on top that badly, you could have just asked.”

Logan blinked at him. “I highly doubt being cordial about handcuffing you would have resulted in the desired position.”

A spit covered handkerchief fell on the top of Logan’s head the next moment as Virgil finally managed to work it all the way out with his tongue. “Life is a nightmare,” Virgil contributed.

Remus’s eyes flickered up to Virgil. “Hey, Virgil, what are you doing here?”

“He saw me while going to the employee breakroom,” Logan explained.

“Since when have you worked at Target?”

“Since you got me fired from my last job, you dick,” Virgil said.

“Right,” Remus said with a wince. “Sorry about that again.” He looked back at Logan. “Not that I’m complaining,” he drawled, “but are you planning on getting off of me any time soon?”

“Give me a moment,” Logan said. “I need to find something to do with your free hand.”

Remus gave him a wide smile. “…Well.”

“Don’t,” Virgil hissed. “Please, just don’t. Not in front of me at least.”

Logan looked up at him in confusion, but he just rolled his eyes, so Logan dismissed it as unimportant. He carefully got off Remus and stood. He cast his eyes around for something that would work as restraints.

“You could just leave that hand free,” Remus said, innocently. “I promise I’ll be good.”

He found an extension cord in a box in the back of the office. “Forgive me if I don’t believe you,” he said dryly.

Remus gave him an impressive pout, but Logan was unmoved. He walked over and started using the extension cord to secure Remus’s other arm to a different leg of the desk.

“So, what’s it today?” Remus asked. “Hacking into Target rewards accounts to steal data? Stealing a couple computers? Ooo! Are you going to go to the make a bomb out of cleaning supplies and blow us all up?”

Logan heard Virgil suck in a little breath and glared at Remus as he finished securing him the best he could to the desk. “Stop it,” he said with a frown. “You’re scaring Virgil.”

“Oh, I’m scaring Virgil?” Remus asked. “You kidnapped Virgil and tied him to a chair.”

Logan shrugged as he stood. “He was in the way.”

“Is this even real life?” Virgil asked. “What is going on?”

“I unfortunately cannot tell you Virgil as it would compromise what I am attempting to do, but I am not going to make a bomb or harm anyone here.” He glanced down at Remus who was already eying the extension cord for weaknesses. “Except perhaps him if he doesn’t behave.”

“What are you going to do?” he asked idly, “Spank me?”

Logan raised an eyebrow and poked him in the cheek with his foot. “Deviant.”

“Or step on me. Even better.”

“I said quit it,” complained Virgil.

Logan turned his attention back to his computer and found that everything was right on time. His target was already on the security camera in the electronics section. The drop off would be in 5 minutes and the pick-up was set to be 5 minutes after that. Logan had a rather small window. He quickly wiped the computer of everything except for the podcast app and then rewound the podcast episode back to a few minutes before where they’d been when Remus had interrupted. “I really must be going now,” Logan told them. He picked up his keys and stepped carefully around Remus. He glanced back at Virgil as he opened the office door, an odd feeling in his throat. “It was nice to see you again, Virgil.”

He shut the door on Remus’s complaints about not receiving a personal goodbye for himself.

Want to read more? The next installment is:

Rats, Pizza, and Supply Closets