#it just feels gross to me idk

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[lazylittledragon]

ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

[toytulini]

listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.

yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?

maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".

get a better joke

[lilaccatholic]

Complex feelings about copyright and Disney's appalling ethics aside, it does unsettle me how quickly people jump to make and monetize the most unnerving, depraved content imaginable about characters created for children the second it hits the public domain

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i posted abt this on my tiktok story but i need to rant more so im putting it here 😭😭 the way a lot of mikosai shippers (on tiktok, pinterest, reddit, etc) are is such a big reminder to me of why i hate the strictly romantic soulmates trope with every fiber of my being 😭😭😭 people who interpret soulmates as "that means theyre canonically together" regardless of how the characters actually feel about each other and if they ACTUALLY get together is so fucking gross to me oh my god its so fucking gross i hate forced romance so bad 😭😭 someone cant just say "hey, we're soulmates so you HAVE to date me and its literally weird and impossible for you to like anyone else because i said so!!" and also aiura WOULDNT do that anyway ???? HELLOOO???

you have no idea how many people ive seen call all saiki ships with anyone other than aiura "problematic ships" just because "theyre soulmates"

[sturgeonrot]

*taps mic* hello helloooo is anybody there

throws this at you like a grenade. hooooly shit. slash and bash.

[relaxxattack]

ok i found the sprite redraws. why is every single person in the notes "omg this is sooo much better... way less ugly... guys lets figure out how to mod this one into the game so we dont have to see the ugly one 🥰" WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??

[3-aem]

MY BRAINS NOT WORKING AND THE CUTE BOY I WORK WITH KEEPS CORRECTING MY GRAMMAR THIS IS SO AHAIWIAKSDHDGRRRRHRNE

[garoujo]

i’m not normally one to bring negative vibes onto my blog but i’ve gotten a sudden wave of unease being on here tbh so im considering drifting from here for a little bit once more. i’ve thought about creating a new blog but also wouldn’t want to waste the masterlist that i’ve worked hard to build for the people who enjoy my work + support me!

i’ve never had a super close circle of friends as such on here but i’m very grateful for the few friends i have made that continue to interact with me. i do really enjoy tumblr and i love creating, i’m grateful for the interaction i get and i know i’ve been on here a while but there always seems to be a sort of uneasiness that i feel stems from previous problems with other people on here.

it can feel a little silly from a blog like me feeling a little ‘outcasted’ and i don’t even know if i’d use that word, but i’ve just never been one that felt comfortable with the sort of underground, high school energy that i sometimes feel radiate around here. i guess i sometimes feel like i’m walking on egg shells to avoid sub posts / bad energy because i really only want to enjoy myself! but yeah, i’m gonna be less active for a few days atleast because i really need the rest anyway after my holiday + a few things on here have just sort of triggered my mental health.

but just know i love all of u, thank u for everything no matter what <3

return to regular navigation

[tiny-merkitty]

am i the only one that feels like those posts listing off what's valid as an age regressor is like... odd.

"you're valid if you're poc!" yes. obviously. "you're valid if you cry when regressed!" yes. obviously. "you're valid if you do things most bio kids can't!" yes. obviously.

i dont know it just feels sort of counterproductive? like yes, of course you're allowed to have bad times while regressed or feel angry or sad. it's a coping mechanism and often a result of mental illness. of course you're allowed to??? be a person of color??? and disabled??? and a boy or trans or whatever??? i know they're in good faith usually but it feels sort of strange sometimes and i feel like every other post i see is someone asking things like "am i still an age regressor if i want to scream and cry? how can i fix this problem? should i want to have a cg?" :/

nothing is wrong with you. regression looks different on everyone and ultimately you should do what feels comfortable for you. not doing the things cookie cutter redditors or agere instagram accounts do does not make you evil.

age regression resources and blogs can help you to get a guideline and learn things, but you do not need follow everything to-a-t to be "good at it". like whatever food you want, like whatever colors you want, feel nostalgic about whatever you want. if sitting in bed with a water bottle and a show you like is what regression is for you, that's fine. it's for you and should be tailored as such.

[shannonsketches]

He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌

(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)

[endlessfuckup]

this blog is no longer going to be a phan blog

if you are following me purely for dan and phil

unfollow or block please

[oceanwithouthermoon]

long as fuck nails always painted with at least a clear coat club:

saiki kusuo

teruhashi kokomi

kaido shun

saiko metori

imu rifuta

nail biters club:

kuboyasu aren

yumehara chiyo

arisu makino

suzumiya hii

nendo riki

aiura mikoto (with fake nails over top)

(formerly) kaido shun

(formerly) toritsuka reita

(formerly) akechi touma

normal short nails 🙄:

hairo kineshi

mera chisato

satou hiroshi

toritsuka reita

akechi touma

[thelaurenshippen]

made to love resident evil games, born to be afraid of spiders

[icannotgetoverbirds]

Share to save a dandruff-haver's sanity

i am making this post because all my life i have been told my dandruff was my fault for not washing my hair correctly and shamed for having "poor hygiene" as a result - this is probably where the bfrbs started tbh.

SO. There are two main types of dandruff!

Dry scalp flakes: these are white and itty bitty! you can probably solve this with a good hair and skincare routine. HOWEVER unless they are bothering you it is absolutely not necessary for any kind of health reason (afaik! disclaimer! i am not a doctor! this is not actionable medical advice nor should you take me anywhere near as seriously as a dermatologist). IS NOT CAUSED BY POOR HYGIENE.

Fungal dandruff: Bigger, yellowish, possibly oily/greasy flakes! Caused by your genetics going Oops All Yeast! Generally requires a prescription antifungal treatment from a dermatologist! ALSO NOT CAUSED BY POOR HYGIENE.

Either way, if you have dandruff, a dermatologist is the one you want to consult if it's bothering you! and frankly, even if it was a hygiene issue, nobody deserves to be shamed for that!!!!! especially considering that there are plenty of people who struggle to shower regularly due to circumstances beyond their control!

AND FOR CHRIST'S SAKE STOP SHAMING PEOPLE WITH DANDRUFF!!!!

[uncaught-coolfish]

every time i remember the “people hurt me long before we met. all sorts of people in all sorts of ways” line I start seeing spiders