#and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like

[natjac]

My entire life I’ve been forgotten. Being the closeted gay kid with only girl friends I didn’t get to go to the sleep overs and wasn’t invited to the parties cuz I was the quiet kid in the back. I had interests no one cared about when I talked to them or they would call me obsessed.

Adult life got easier. I made good friends but was still always felt like the plus one. Spending nights in country bars and other places where my friends met guys and I was their support cheering them on and protecting them but always alone after.

Guys treated me like shit when I would talk to them. Disrespectful, ghosting and putting me down to make themselves feel better.

Then I met you, and you did none of that. You listened to me, even with things you knew nothing about like when you saw my best friends had Pokémon types assigned to them in my phone and you went through all the types to pick yours out even though you knew nothing about Pokémon cuz of your religious parents.

Remember the map I made of all the meaningful places we had been to as a valentines present and I used all those bitmojis cuz that show you met me (you said my bitmoji on Snapchat was cute). Remember the home theatre we made at your apartment? Or when it snowed on campus and how pretty it was. Remember when we got our rescue do Brie?

Fixing my moms place after the contractors stole from her. Going to Del Rio and meeting your family. Your dad and mom both inviting me into their house to celebrate Christmas with them. Taking a secret Vegas vacation my sister and best friend payed for just so they could meet you. Remember when I would drive to Houston in summer with no ac just to have lunch with you during your internship? Remember all the amazing “alone” times we had? The things I could do that no one else could.

And so many more wonderful memories and moments.

You showed me love, affection, attention, and made me feel attractive for once in my life. You did so much good for me. You became my best friend and my boyfriend. And yea you messed up. A lot.

You cheated and I forgave you each time. I’d ask why and you wouldn’t give me anything but “i don’t know.” But those were a drop in the bucket compared to the good times. The laughs, the love.

I helped you through your mental illness, took you into the hospital and talked to your family when they thought I was just your roommate. Four times I did that. Never held it over your head but only wanted to help you. I moved from everyone I knew to be with you in North Carolina, to support and love you when you got into Duke. You said you wouldn’t get in but I knew you would. I never doubted.

At my sisters wedding you told my best friend you wanted to marry me. 5.5 years on my life all of the unfaltering love, dedication and sacrifice. All of it would have been more than worth it for a life time with you. That’s all I ever wanted.

A month later you told me you had cheated and didn’t think you could stop. You said it was something you needed to work on, on your own. With out me or anyone else. So we planned to break up. Maybe get back together after you grew. But we agreed I shouldn’t be in that pain anymore.

Then you got into a new relationship in less than 2 months. With a mutual friend that I was wary of your friendship with. And you spin the same story again. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. I don’t think the flirting and us texting till 4 am led to us getting together. You are just trying to make things fit in your narrative.” Even though you are supposed to be working on these issues on your own. That’s why we broke up right?

And after you guys got together and we were still trying to help me deal with the breakup the compassion and apologies changed to mean spirited comments and frustration. To the point of our friendship and all mutual friends with us had to be cut out. I lost all of them. Because you did wrong.

The worst part of this all though. You act like the last 5.5 years didn’t exist. You have no respect or compassion for what I did.

Because if you did I would get genuine apologies and answers for what you did. I wouldn’t have been forgotten about when you and your new boyfriend talked to our friends to make sure that they were ok with it and you hid it from me. You two apologized to them but not me. Neither of you are accepting or acknowledging that the flirting and shit led up to this. Or the lies you’ve told. Or possibly worse how you cared about others feelings but forgot about me.

And that’s my fault for believing that some measure of love you had for me would carry over. Or our friend and you to respect me and apologize for the months of flirting and pain you two caused me afterwards with the lies and backstabbing.

You will never understand what you did to me. To bring someone to such happiness and then utterly destroy them. To the point that I sit and wonder which parts of our relationship were real and which were fake.

I don’t know if I’ll ever stop caring and loving you. You became my best friend, and I lost both that and my boyfriend at once. And the loss of respect and care on your end… nothing I could have done would have prepared me for that.

Now I sit here every day, trying to move on. Trying to find a reason to keep going. With thoughts of ending my life bombarding me because if someone that I cared for and loved that much can so easily forget about me and erase me from his life like I was nothing. What am I doing here.

Anyway I’m going to therapy starting this week. I think it may help. I hope it does and I hope I find someone who will accept every good and bad part of me and will embrace them.

I don’t wish you ill will despite all of this. I want you to be happy and healthy.

But I know you will be haunted by us. Even if you act like you aren’t. Haunted by memories of what you threw away. For who you threw away. For the pain that you caused me.

And I hope I forget you. Because you have now tainted all the good times. I never thought that I would feel this way towards you. I know I never will forget you. But if there was an option to I would take it now.

Our relationship was to date my proudest accomplishment. But you are my greatest disappointment.

[pbandjesse]

Today was so stupid hot. I am very lucky to be in the AC tonight.

I had a pretty nice day despite the heat though. I slept alright and woke up tired but in a good mood. I liked my outfit and I felt good, even if I was tired.

James took us to the museum. We stopped for breakfast. We miss the grimace cups but it was still a good breakfast and made me feel a little better. More awake. We each got a treat from Ginny. And got my table set up.

It was a rough day for me sales wise. I made $45. Which isnt nothing but I only made sales after 11 and so the first two hours were a little defeating. I tried not to let it bother me but it was hard. I focused on my knitting.

I also was pretty focused on my shoes. I wore my doc sandals. Which I need to wear more because once they are broken in I know they are going to be great but Jesus do they hurt the tops of my feet now. I loosened them and it helped a bit but it still left me with bruises. I actually met another girl with the black version (mine are lilac) and she said once they got broken in they were all she wanted to wear. I just have to get to that point.

I did have fun knitting though. I made 7 squares and ran out of yarn!! I was having fun making stuff though. And the few people that stopped to chat were lovely. I would sell a few little things. A pin, a keychain, a sticker, and two frogs. I want to make some more frogs. I have 10 more bears to see but maybe that will be next week's project.

CJ and her friend would come by to say hello. And I was to hot but I was feeling happy.

I went to the car to get my water and the guacamole guys gave me a sample and it was so good and I don't even really like guacamole usually!! It wasn't just like mush, it was really flavorful! So I would buy a little container. James would end up buying me chips and some pineapple salsa for themselves. And I had my guac and chips for lunch and it was great.

I was really glad to be done though. I had enjoyed talking to the people from save the bay, I even got some stickers. And I had a nice long chat with Bob about casting. I even spent some time drawing a new bear, which I haven't done in months. It was fun. It was a good day. But I was hot and sweaty and ready to go home.

I decided to save going to Canton crossing for tomorrow. And just go right home. After I loaded up the car I went to give James a hug. I watched the desk while they stepped away for a moment. And when they came back I gave them a hug and headed out.

I got back here pretty quickly. And I thought I would fall asleep right away but instead I got some cleaning some, put away groceries, are more chips, and started reorganizing my clothes. There aren't many I want to get rid rid but I did put some away and take some out and reordered the closet. I also went through my purses. I didn't get rid of any but I got a new basket in the closet so I can have them all there and I feel a lot better about that. I hope when we buy a house we have more closets so I can hang more things. It would make me feel a little better about stuff I think.

I would like to get rid of some jackets and sweaters but just looking at them right now I find it impossible. Same with my shoes. I will keep thinking about it but it's hard. Things feel so situational.

James would get home after making a stop for a few groceries. And they would get to work on laundry. I would end up falling asleep. And when I woke up the had made breakfast for dinner for me which was so good. They made themselves pasta and we are in the dungeon. And after that I took a cool bath and it made me feel a lot more comfortable.

Now I am ready to do some skin care. And go to sleep. I'm just really tired. Not shocking.

Tomorrow I have cleaning to do and my trip over to Canton crossing to do some shopping. I hope it is a good day. I love you all. Goodnight everyone!!

[plague-of-insomnia]

hm idk how ur gonna feel abt an ask like this but i do want to get smth off my chest & u seem p safe. feel free to delete if u want

i saw a post recently talking abt how "gay" got used as a slur a lot more than people acknowledge. and it got me thinking of my school years & how often it got thrown around.

thing is. and heres where my train of thought goes off the rails. i actually experienced the word "incest" as an attack more than the word "gay"... which. ill explain. but it really got me thinking on this whole purity culture & demonising of incest depicted in literature & yknow taking things too far with whats considered incest.

bc at the end of the day. the reason incest is illegal (mostly) is to prevent inbreeding & the health issues that come along with that. if ur not blood related then theres no problem.

and like. the reason i got called incestuous and generally ostracised was bc i was close with a boy in my year. like we dated for a week as 14 yros do. and at some point i discovered that hey. his last name is the same as my aunts and lo and behold hes my 2nd cousin thru marriage or smth. so. not incest at all.

anyway that p much ruined our friendship (& it was a friendship. i broke things off before i even knew we were related bc i just didnt feel the same way and we stayed friends for a little bit) all bc some kids couldnt let it go that we had the vaguest relation to each other. he got bullied for the rest of our school year & ive felt horribly guilty for leaving him bc i wanted to be "cool" & ended up without any close friends like we were.

sorry if thats a weird thing to put in ur inbox.

Hey, anon. I don't mind this ask. I hope you don't mind me replying publicly. (In future if you don't just say so.)

This post will be a bit long, so I'll go ahead and put it under a readmore.

TW for discussions of "gay" used in a negative way, and discussions of the use of the word "incest," and its association with child sexual abuse, though there's really nothing terribly bad here as I'm not going into detail on any of thse topics. (If you need something tagged, though, let me know.)

Now, I'm old as dirt by tumblr standards, and I remember VIVIDLY the word "gay" being used in a negative light. As a kid, I didn't really see it used as a "slur" per se, but it was used to mean something was bad.

Like, if you saw a movie that sucked, you'd say "Man, that movie was so gay." It meant something like "lame."

So obviously, it wasn't a good thing, and when I got a bit older and was explained why using the word was bad, I stopped, and fortunately most other kids did too and it mostly faded from use (in that sense) at least as far as I noticed.

(I'm not saying gay hasn't been used as a more nasty slur/word ofc, this is just my personal experience with it.)

Granted, keep in mind when I was in high school, our LGBTQ+ club was just the "Gay/Straight Alliance." Back then, it was basically, you were gay/lesbian, or you were an ally. We never talked about trans people or nonbinary people or ace/aro people. Ofc every one of those identities/kinds of people existed, but as far as my world went, they didn't. Most of my circle of friends was queer in some way, but many were closeted or semi-closeted for various reasons.

Anyway, sorry for that detour. Now, as to your incest situation. I'm sorry that happened to you. It definitely wasn't fair. You didn't have any way to know if you were related, and if/when you did it was "easy" to end the relationship. But kids are kids, and they always love to find a way to single people out, and they probably didn't really care what the actual truth was.

Even if you'd discovered having a similar name was total coincidence, I'm sure they'd still have bullied you for "incest."

I wasn't bullied for it, thankfully, but I did have a classmate in high school with the same last name as mine. My name is very common in some places, but where I lived at that time it was not, so everyone assumed we were fraternal twins. He was a nice enough guy, but I really didn't want people to think we were siblings. But no matter how many times we both explained we weren't related, no one believed us.

Sometimes, once someone makes their mind up about something, there's no changing it.

As for "abandoning" your friend because you didn't want to be left out and regretting it, I get that too. There was a guy I dated when I was around 16, and we were very passionate, but I think honestly I entered a major depressive episode and lost all interest in everything, including him, and... anyway, I regret how things ended between us even today, many, many years later. I wish I could shake my 16-year-old self and tell them not to be so cruel, but we can't change the past, only learn from it and move forward.

With regards to antis/purity culture taking incest so far, I do agree it has gotten ridiculous. As you said, the reason incest is taboo is because of inbreeding, because if your (general you) DNA is too closely related, you increase the chance of having major/significant diseases due to a lack of genetic diversity. But antis tend not to understand the WHY's behind things (since they also believe pedophilia is bad bc it's disgusting, and not because it hurts children, who become real grown adults).

But I have seen some really wild takes called incest. Like a ship from one fandom where the male and female characters are friends. A lot of people consider it "problematic" apparently, because they have a "sibling-like" relationship. They did not grow up together, they aren't related, and yet that's "incest" according to antis.

I do want to mention another reason that incest can/is considered so bad, and it's because, despite what antis may think, most sexual abuse of children comes from someone close to them in their lives, often a family member or close friend. So for a lot of people, when they think of "incest," they closely associate it with sexual abuse of a child. It's possible that's why antis get so upset about it. I don't know. But that is another aspect to it. (Ofc for you, in your past situation, you were both around the same age, so that's not the case, but that association is there.)

But, in the end, in fiction, it doesn't matter, because there are not actual children who can be conceived or harmed, and so the whole purpose behind why incest isn't allowed in many places in modern times doesn't exist.

I hope you're doing OK now, anon. Don't be to hard on yourself. A lot of people have done things when they were young teens they regret and wish they could "undo," but as long as you learned from that experience so you could become a better person than that 14-year-old version of you, I think you're doing OK.

Sending you some hugs. <3

[nerdyenby]

Yellow Time :D I’m watching Sneeg

Pregame

I’m upset that tumblr doesn’t have a yellow option for text

I had seen picture but his costume still startled a laugh out of me

Sneeg is so funny, I can’t

Top 3 funniest men alive: Charlie, Sneeg, and Aimsey, tell me I’m wrong

Hannah laughing at him cracked me up

Hannah coming in and playing with his minion hair is so silly /pos

Him just standing in the closet killed me

Skipped from 20m to 1hr 30m because I don’t have stamina anymore lol (this is like the 6th team I’m watching send help)

Sneeg asking if Jordan’s dress up irl too and getting a “No, are you?” and proceeding to sputter about how he would never

“Someone didn’t wear the right costume” “I was tolieting :(”

Sneeg looking up minion quotes 😂

Yo minion lore???? How did I not know they were polyglots????? I’ve heard that there were couple pieces of other languages in their dialect but I didn’t know it was entirely composed of other languages???

Sneeg’s comedic overconfidence vs Puffy’s self-deprecation FIGHT!!

“Fruit, you’re not throwing it back!!” Puffy 😂

Parkour Tag

We love the confidence :))

Sneeg’s a good hunter!! I don’t think I’ve watched his parkour tag before lol

The “captain” ambiguity lmao

Puffy’s absolute MOVES juking Jimmy, what a queen!!!

Sneeg losing his mind over the comedic timing of Joel’s internet issues

Rocket Spleef Rush

“Why are they voting for Sands of Time first? Loser behavior” Sneeg based

“We just have so much faith in you, Fruit” them <3

Sneeg 16th!!!

Okay but Sneeg got robbed there

Jordan improving every round my beloved <333

Sands of Time

Them telling Puffy to be assertive and her starting the “be aggressive” chant 😂

“Being confident as a female is mean, real” Sneeg making fun of sexists my beloved!!!

OFFHAND TORCHES SNEEG, SNEEG OFFHAND TORCHES!!!! (/nm imagine it over that Garfield meme)

THATS RED SNEEG 😭😭

Uh oh

The jukes!!! Sneeg definitely should have died there but the skill

That was so rough but Sneeg’s death wasn’t his fault, I don’t think that was a bad call, just bad luck

Sky Battle

The csgo calls 😭

Yellow going everywhere and taking everything, as they should

Puffy :))

Their build is so satisfying

The way Fruit almost clutched his way out of a 3v1

I could feel that snipe coming :/

“We just… we banana” so true Puffy

Sneeg is so real for noticing Puffy’s crazy clutches in skybattle

Ace Race

Puffy is so much smarter than me lol

Sneeg never leaving the top 15 is so epic of him

Three of them being in the top 20 is huge actually

Battle Box

Why can no one on this team aim /aff

Sneeg’s mind immediately going to how to break the game my beloved

“It’s concrete!” yeah but that doesn’t roll off the tongue, cmon Jordan

This team has such efficient comms <33

Sneeg mvp that last round!!

Grid Runners

The way I didn’t process this team was all Americans until they started bullying the British

We don’t talk about golf, stuff happens

Stop being so hard on yourself Sneeg, I will fight you

Crafting grove redemption!!!

WE GOT INFIGHTING!!!

Jordan chucking Fruit into the lava was hysterical and some much needed levity

Sneeg’s brain is huge, as soon as he got it, he got it

“We’ll all get season 3 coins at some point” “I preordered mine” Puffy 😂

“If you’ve already thrown step back” “I’ve been throwing this whole game, little do you know” Puffy breaking out the one liners my beloved <33!!!

TGTTOSAWAF

Fruit popping off!!!

Aw Sneeg could’ve gotten top 3 right there :(

“I had a good time” Sneeg I know you mean it but that does not sound convincing in the slightest 😂

Dodgebolt

OMG FRUIT 😂

If you see a post about the longest running no-win streak, it’s Jordan’s fault

“What are the stats behind how many reverse sweeps have happened?” SNEEG DONT YOU DARE

This team’s commentary is so good <333

“Two arrows and a dream, the script writers went hard on this one” Fruit 😂

[gucciwins]

The First Kiss

Harry and Y/N go on their first date...will they finally become something more?

Word count: 4814

A/N: I know how much you all love breakout room and the follow up it's your birthday. I love writing them and it's been a while but do know they are doing well. this is nothing but sweet fluff. I do mention the vaccine and wearing masks which I hope you all are doing. it's important to stay safe and truly wish nothing but the best for you all. I love you xxx

please reblog and let me know your thoughts

_____

“Are you feeling good? I sent over a goodie basket.”

Harry giggled, loving how concerned you were. “I’m doing good, baby.” He sees you tuck your head into your sweater smiling, when he notices it’s the one he sent you in a goodie basket after you got your second shot of the vaccine.

It’s spring break, and Harry can finally say he is officially vaccinated after letting the mandated two weeks pass. It’s perfect timing, honestly, as he has been itching to finally see you in person again.

Your university let you know that they would begin to have vaccine dates open to students through an email that you quickly forwarded to Harry. You had to register to get a date for your first vaccine, and slots were filling up fast. You shot Harry multiple texts telling him what day you got and time, but you went without an answer for an hour which is weird, seeing as Harry never liked to leave you waiting more than five minutes.

By the time he got back to you, he had to wait two weeks, unlike you, who would be getting in only three days. You asked why he didn’t answer, and he said he was in class. You frowned because even then, he always answered. He then confessed he lost his phone in his apartment and didn’t have time to search for it.

You laughed about it, but he was disappointed because he wanted to see you. To give you a hug. To hold your hand.

After spending his birthday together, you both decided against meeting in person for safety even though you both wanted to, more than anything. You postponed your date to the future. Instead, you completed the group assignment through zoom meetings that led to facetime calls. After submitting the project and learning that you aced the assignment, well, you both caved in.

Harry gushed on how he always got B’s on the professor’s assignments, and to celebrate, he sent you a dozen cupcakes from the bakery that you never stop raving about located only three blocks from where you live. Then proceeded to call him over to celebrate and who was he to say no. Harry was shocked at how rich and full of flavor they were because he wasn’t aware it was vegan. Yet, it tasted better than anything he ever had. Harry realized why it was your favorite, promising to take you there in person to have your pick of favorites and not only red velvet and carrot cake because they were safe choices.

You couldn’t say you’ve been on a proper date with Harry, but you’d like to count all the zoom calls and facetime calls as dates not that you let Harry know it would only inflate his ego. You’d start a call to ask a question on assignments, and it would lead to sharing stories back and forth of what their favorite book was to where they would visit if they could go that very second. You loved how insightful he was, also liked how he used pastel highlighters to mark his annotations. Harry was a fan of how you always had a pencil in your hair or behind your ear. How you always had a snack on hand because you didn’t want to listen to professors without something to eat or you’d lose focus.

You were glad you’d be able to get together safely but also taking all the needed precautions. Safety is hot, as Harry liked to say all the time when you sent him photos of you wearing your masks.

“Yeah, like the basket?”

Harry grins, but it’s not as bright due to the lacking pixels of your laptop. He holds it up, having placed it in his lap. “I did love the bath bombs.”

You smile back at him, “Going to change your life. Self-care is important, bub. Even in the smallest ways as a bath.”

Harry nods, “I know, baby. The reason I remember to take deep breaths each morning, no longer eager to reach for my phone.”

“Proud of you.”

“And I of you, baby.”

Harry shines his dimples at you when you turn your head away at the sweet name he started calling you a few weeks ago. You adored it, honestly, but it always left you feeling flustered.

“H, please.”

“Baby, I like seeing you flustered.”

“You’re a menace.”

He shrugs, still giggling.

“How are Mitch and Sarah?”

“Wonderful, sickly in love as always. Spend their time at Sarah’s like composing together.”

“That’s sweet.” You lean in, smiling at him, “you know we should all hang out together. I get to meet Mitch properly and see Sarah again, and you’ll get to meet Amy.” You grow excited at the thought.

“Not before I get to see you.”

“H, we got to coordinate a day that works for all of us. No need to get jealous.”

“Not jealous.”

“Sure,” you reply sarcastically.

“Got to learn to share me with Amy. I cook her lunch and dinner; otherwise, she’d be nothing but a walking cadaver.”

“I want you to make me lunch and dinner,” he pouts.

“I can now that you’ve vaxxed.”

“That I am, so you are.”

“Yes,” you’re waiting for him to go on.

“Will you go on a date with me? Think we waited long enough, and if my feelings weren’t obvious enough, I like you and really want to take you out.” he rambles on.

You interrupt him knowing fully well he could go on for days, “I’d love to, Harry.”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Yes, Harry.”

“Great. Friday then.”

“I’m free.”

“I know, know your schedule by heart.”

“Creep,” you gasp at the news.

“Shush, like you don’t have my classes added to your planner.” Your turn to pout.

“I like knowing your schedule, and they overlap.”

“I do too. Look forward to your messages every day between classes.”

“So Friday? What are you planning?”

“A picnic.”

You jump up in excitement, causing your laptop to fall back on your bed before you dive to save it. Harry yelling dramatically in the background as if you just dropped him.

“H, be quiet. You’re fine.”

“Dropped me, darling.”

“Dork.”

He mutters something in return, but you can’t hear him.

“So I’ll prepare lunch because you’ve told me once or twice that you’re hopeless in the kitchen.” Harry doesn’t even try to fight you because it’s true. “You’ll take care of drinks and desserts.”

“Seems like you’re planning the date,” he teases.

“I like picnics.”

“Well, I like you, so I’ll let you take over.”

Your smile turns soft, reaching your hand out as if you could reach in and caress him. “I like you, too. I can’t wait to give you a hug.”

“Counting down the hours.”

“Alright, you have class in ten, and you always struggle to log in.”

“Making me hang up. Not fair.” Harry frowns, debating skipping class for you.

“Don’t think about it, Styles.”

“Fine. Take care, baby.”

“Bye, H.”

A date.

You have a date with Harry.

Finally, it happened.

_____

You were nervous.

Why were you nervous? It was just Harry.

Harry, who wanted to date you from your first meeting, who emailed you asking you out, and who has not stopped talking to you since February. Constantly reminding you of his feelings for you. You hope he knew you felt the same, in texts and sending him little gifts even as small as writing him a letter.

You got up early today to prepare lunch. You decided on sandwiches, a non-messy meal, and Harry always said he wanted to try the bakery bread you use and not the basic store-bought. It was a bit pricey but not as much anymore because you had become a regular, meaning the sweet owner began giving you a discount, especially when finding out you're a student. Still, you always remember to leave a good tip. The turkey sandwiches were finished with cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes. Looked so good that Amy had one as you were making them. You made three and packed them up in your glass reusable containers.

Staring at the sandwiches, it felt like too little food when Harry had told you many times how much he enjoys eating, so you cleaned up and got to make a second meal. You decided on vegetable rice paper rolls. A favorite and easy meal to make that you enjoyed eating. It was packed with lettuce, avocado, cabbage, bell peppers, cucumbers, noodles, and fresh herbs. This was a meal your dad made you all the time as a child with the special slightly spicy peanut sauce that you could drizzle on top.

Harry was going to enjoy this, so you hoped. He promised to make strawberry lemonade. Assured you that it would not be store-bought, and you believed him. During one of your late conversations, he shared how his sister would make him some when she returned from uni. Reminds him of home, he would say.

After packing everything away in the fridge to keep it cool it was time to get ready. You stood in front of your closet for a good five minutes before you began to swipe through the hangers. You knew you wanted to wear a dress; it was warm weather and would only get hotter as the day went on.

You searched your entire closet, there were three options once you had decided on, but you called Amy in to make the final decison for you. She decided on the one sitting in the middle of your bed, which was exactly what you were thinking.

The dress was a white button-front high slit that fit you nicely. You hadn't used it in quite some time, seeing as when you left your apartment, it would be in leggings, sweats, and the first sweater you could slip on.

You couldn't stop looking in the mirror, loving how it flowed around you when you twirled. For accessories, you slipped on a gold ring that had a little heart on it and another that was a gift shaped like a small snake as it was going to scale down your finger. A simple heart locket gifted to you by your grandparents hung right above your cleavage. You decided to leave your hair natural, liking how it air-dried after the shower you had that morning.

There was no makeup on your face, just your favorite rosebud salve lip balm that left your lips soft. Amy insisted you put some on, but you stood firm in your decision, knowing you'd be wearing a mask and didn't want anything smudging.

You looked down at the time on your phone and knew it was time to head down, Harry said twelve, and you didn't want to make him come up to your apartment only to walk down the three levels again. You grabbed the picnic basket that was sitting in the back of yours and Amy's shared doorway closet and made sure to place everything neatly, leaving room for Harry's drink and stashing a bunch of napkins in for any accidents. Basket prepared, you slipped your sunglasses in your hair, placing your lavender tote bag with tiny embroidered daisies on your shoulder that contained sunscreen, your wallet, extra face masks, and a book Harry had told he had wanted to read.

Before opening your door, you put on the white mask that you embroidered sunflowers on. It was one of your favorites, and glad it complimented your look well. You walked down the stairs slowly, not wanting to drop the basket.

You walk out the front door and find Harry getting out of the yellow mask on his face. As you get closer, you can see it's the one you made him. It has bees on it, and embroidered on the left side is 'my honey.' Harry had turned quite pink when he opened the gift he got in the mail over facetime with her. You happily screenshot his reaction, happy to have it to look back on.

As soon as you reach him, it's as if all the nerves you had disappeared. Calm washes over you as he comes to stand in front of you. You can't see the smile he has, but the crinkles by his eyes prove he's just as happy to see you.

"Hi, Harry," you say, your eyes taking him all in.

Harry doesn't hide, he's checking you out, and you're thankful for the mask at the moment, able to hide how bashful you're feeling. "Hello, baby. You look gorgeous. I'm a lucky man."

"Yeah," you swayed side to side, "gave me a reason to dress up."

"Always beautiful, but I'm so glad to see more than just your shoulders." He laughs, and you join him.

"Look pretty, H. I had not seen this cardigan." You reach out, running a finger down over the pastel yellow cardigan that looks to be well-loved. He paired it with a plain white shirt that fits him loosely with Gucci denim trousers that he told you he found a few years ago when he was thrift shopping in London with his mother.

"No, brought it out just for you. Wanted it to match my favorite mask." Although he couldn't see it, you hoped your eyes were doing their job expressing your joy. "Let's put this basket in the trunk. Got a blanket and a few pillows as well as the lemonade."

"And the dessert?"

He chuckles, "and the dessert."

You place everything in the trunk, taking a step back for Harry to close it. He walks you over to your door, opening it for you, you offer a soft thank you, but before you get in, you turn to look at him.

"What is it, baby?"

You stare down at your ribbon-tied wedges before looking up into his piercing green eyes. "Can I have a hug? I just--I'm really happy to see you."

Harry falters for a second before answering, "of course, come here." He's quick to bring you in for a hug, and it feels like home. It's comfortable, and you can't believe you haven't hugged him since February, a good two months ago, when it has honestly felt like a lifetime. "I would have earlier, but when you came out, you truly shocked me with how amazing you looked."

You just hug him tighter, enjoying feeling his strong arms around you. He looks at you smiling. "That was nice." You nod because it was, and if he'd let you, you'd stay in his arms all day.

"Well, shall we go?"

"We shall."

And with that, you were off to your first date with Harry, which would hopefully lead to more.

_____

The drive to the park was short; you unloaded everything from the car once you got there. Harry offers to carry the basket, letting you lead to picking the spot. You walked ahead, glad he brought you to a park you recognized; it's one you liked to walk around during finals week when you were drowning in essays and exams. This was a nice break. On the other side of the park is a lake where you can rent pedal boats, but you were sure they hadn't opened up for business just yet, wanting more of the population to be vaccinated.

You led him to a secluded area laughing when he joked if you were leading him to his murder. Once you reached the clearing, one large tree with lots of shade and a few rose bushes surrounded it.

"It's beautiful here." Harry awed in amazement.

"Yeah, I found it my first year when I was trying to destress; I don't think many people know about it because it's not on the maps."

"Lucky us."

Harry grabs one end of the blanket, helping you spread it on the grass. You set your tote bag on one corner as well as setting down the pillows. As you make your way to sit down, Harry gently grabs your elbow, causing you to turn and look at him; he's holding a bouquet of tulips.

You felt your eyes well up with tears, not used to such a kind gesture; it's been a long time since you've been on a date with someone you really care about, "You got me tulips, H."

You reach forward and cradle them in your arms. "Course I did; I think you deserve all the beautiful things life has to offer."

You set the flowers on top of the basket before straightening up and pulling Harry into a hug. Your arms around his neck, his resting tightly around your waist, "including you," you whisper in his ear, causing him to squeeze you a bit tighter. Harry pulls back, leaving a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"Let's eat, baby. Know you made something delicious for us to enjoy."

Harry set the food out, and you are sure to hand him the wet wipes to clean your hand before you could begin wanting to be clean and not wanting to venture out to find a restroom. He eyed the sandwiches first, then the veggie rice paper rolls.

"Couldn't decide?"

"Wasn't sure what you'd like. So I gave you two options."

"Too sweet angel." Harry leans in to kiss her cheek.

"Think we ought to take off the mask now." You giggle, sad you didn't get to feel his lips on your cheek.

"Yeah, so comfortable it doesn't really bother me wearing them. I am hungry."

You place your mask in your bag, and Harry puts his mask in his pocket. He opens up both containers and digs into the veggie rolls first. He hums after the first bite, chewing happily. "Delicious," he mutters between chews.

"Can add this peanut sauce to give it more flavor, just a tad bit spicy." He watches you as you pick up and spoon drizzle a bit on top, taking a bite. Harry follows your steps taking another bite, and his eyes go wide at the added flavor.

"Shocked, I've lived all my life without this food."

You laugh, "well, now you don't have to."

He chews happily at your response.

_____

Lunch is filled with little conversation, both praising each other for a well-planned meal. The strawberry lemonade complimenting the food perfectly. He brought a raspberry lemon loaf cake for dessert, and you happily admit you ate two pieces. It tasted so heavily, making Harry promise you to buy more in the future for you. He agreed, stating he'd do anything to make you happy.

"It's nice going out with someone, enjoying the sweet fresh air." Harry comments.

You hum in agreement, "I adore my alone time, but with the right company, it can feel just as perfect."

Harry's cheek turns rosy pink quickly, not at all trying to hide from you. You love that he loves to show how much you affect him.

"It feels normal like we've done this hundred of times already.”

You chuckle, nudging his shoulder. "It's cause we have. Just never called any of them dates."

"So you agree, we've been dating since February," he teases.

"Yeah, I think we can say that."

"When was our first zoom call?"

"Hmm...after class a week after your birthday. Think we worked for an hour and talked about nothing for another."

You look over at Harry loving how the sun reflects off his skin; it makes him look like a gift from the Gods. Harry feels your gaze on him, flashing you a big grin, his dimples on display just for you, because of you.

"We will call February eighth our anniversary," he declares.

You laugh, not a silent one but a full-out belly gripping laugh; you can feel the tears welling up in your eyes. Harry sits there confused, not sure where the joke was.

"You alright, baby?" He asks, just a bit concerned.

"That is what you were thinking so hard about; you couldn't figure out a week from your birthday quickly. Took you a good few minutes." You shake your head, trying to catch your breath, tiny giggles still escaping you.

"Oi, no need to be rude."

"Sorry, honey."

"Never claimed to be smart."

"The pretty ones never are," you tease.

"Alright, that's it. I've had enough."

Before you can stop him, he's on top of you, his fingers tickling you from your sides to your thighs. He knows your body getting all your secret spots that make you squirm away from. You almost succeeded in getting one of his hands over your head, but he surprises you by straddling you. You've stopped laughing, but Harry keeps going.

His curls are falling over his head, his eyes shining bright, a new lightness to them. At that moment, you realize how lucky you are, and before you know it, you reach your free hand up and place it on the back of his neck, bringing him down to your lips catching him by surprise.

Harry stays frozen for a second before sinking into the kiss, responding softly, wanting to explore you as he'd been thinking about this moment for months. You love the feel of his lips against yours; you'd happily give up breathing, never wanting to part. Harry tries to pull away, but you chase his mouth, not ready to stop kissing. He smiles against your lips, humming when he places a hand on your cheek, adding more pressure; you're not sure who lets out a moan letting it out into the universe wishing for more, hoping for forever.

You don't get butterflies or fireworks. Instead, you feel the ease of calmness wash over you like when you arrive home after a long day. That's what kissing Harry is like coming home.

You pull back, laying your head on the pillow Harry was wise to bring; you don't try to contain your smile as Harry stares down at you in a look of awe. You run your thumb over his bottom lip-loving how swollen they look thanks to you. His eyes never leave yours; you gasp as he places a kiss on your thumb before taking it in his mouth, sucking it gently; a moan escapes you, surprised at how hot the teasing is getting you.

"You're filthy, honey."

Harry smirks, "just for you, baby."

"Only our first date, H. We aren't going to move fast."

"A makeout isn't too fast for you," he teases.

"Felt just right." You smile, loving the feeling of his weight on top of you as he has not moved from his position, still straddling you.

"I agree."

"Sorry, I didn't ask if I could kiss you. Consent is sexy."

Harry's smile is soft, his eyes flicker to your lips, then back to your eyes, "You hereby have permission to kiss me whenever you please, my love."

"You know all the right things to say to make me puny for you."

"Good to know. Got to keep a mental list."

"What's on there so far?"

Harry smirks, leaning down his mouth right over your mouth; you remember the taste of lemon you felt when you kissed him, and well, you don't try to stop yourself when you attach your lips against his. There's no sweeter feeling, you've decided.

He pulls back, keeping the kiss short, "Know you can't be close to me without giving me a kiss. Know your heart is racing like it might beat out of your chest, and I know you're dying to ask me to be your boyfriend."

"Guess you are smart," you whisper.

He chuckles, nudging his nose against yours, humming as he places a kiss on the top of your nose.

"You know, I was right."

"Yeah, about what, H?" You reach your hand up to run your hand through his curls, brushing them back, giggling as they fall forward again.

"That your laugh sounds better in person. Know it's cheesy but truly music to my ears."

"You nutter!"

"Oi, picking up my slang, are you?"

"Got to, especially when you called that Evan kid a wanker for dismissing my response." You snicker, remembering the moment a few classes ago when you spoke up to give your opinion only for Evan trying to mansplain how women in politics were growing already especially having a female-run as a candidate a few years back. You would have cussed him out, but Harry did it for you. He packed up all your points with his own references. Safe to say, Evan has not spoken up since then.

"Cause he is one. You're the smartest person in the class, and that tosser should not even be in this class. Clearly, hasn't learned one bit since January."

"Settle down, honey. All in the past." You pat his chest a few times, getting his focus back on you. "Got that book you've wanted to read, want to give it a read now?"

"Course, baby. Happy you had it in your collection." He's gotten back into reading now that he seemed to have more time on his hands, and they had been bouncing recommendations off of each other. You had told him to stay off Book Tok because it was the same ten books being promoted by every page. His sister told him to read The Silent Patient, but he couldn't rationalize spending fifteen dollars, and he couldn't find the free pdf. He asked you and told him Amy bought it for you as a gift for feeding her.

"Let me get it out of my bag; you can lay in my lap easier to listen to."

Harry's eyes go wide; you're going to read him. He did not expect that, but he had to make sure. "Going to read to me, darling?"

"If you don't mind." you tuck your hand into your tote bag again, "brought my kindle in case you didn't want to. Won't be sad if you don't want to."

"No, I want you to. Yeah, more than anything. Got the prettiest voice." Harry pecks your lips, pulling back giddy because that's the first time he's kissed you, and well, he has to do it again. Your lips move in sync, the kisses feeling smoother but just as passionate. You break the kiss, playfully push him away, hands-off, letting you adjust yourself before he sets one of the smaller pillows in your lap and lays his head. Your hand is quick to find a place in his hair, thankful you've mastered the one hand reading and page-flipping due to always having a book in your hand growing up.

_____

After reading for a bit, Harry lifts his head from your lap, taking the time to admire you. You kept reading, letting him take you in from this new angle. You stopped brushing his hair instead, allowing yourself to get immersed in the book once again. You giggled, thinking back at Harry's reaction to the opening line of chapter one.

You had just flipped to a new page, ready to start chapter seven, when you saw how fidgety Harry had gotten. He clearly had something on his mind, so you wanted to give him his space; you had only read five words when he spoke, interrupting you.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Harry blurts, shifting to sit in front of you.

You don't smile, but you know he can see the gleam in your eyes at his words, "Hmmm...will you give me a cute nickname?"

Harry doesn't know what you're doing but goes along with it. "Already do, so yes."

"Will you let me make you more masks?"

"Yes."

"Will you knit me a sweater?"

"I'll knit you hundreds."

You nod, "then yes, I'll be your girlfriend."

"Yeah, you want me to be your boyfriend," Harry teases.

"Dork," you shove his shoulder, causing him to fall back. He gasps in shock.

You laugh, and it's music to his ears; his dramatic response is swallowed as he takes you in. Harry isn't sure where he'd be without you. He takes in the happiness displayed on your face and knows if you could look in a mirror, he'd look just as happy if not more. You are a light in his life.

These last few months have changed everything about him. Harry hadn't really understood what it meant when people said that your partner should also be your best friend. He thought it was cheesy and something to give false hope to others, but with you, he knew it was true.

Starting off as friends built a strong foundation for you both to grow together, and he is forever thankful you took a chance on him.

Harry called it fate, but you well, you think it was all thanks to the zoom gods who set you up in a random break out room not once but twice.

_____

thank you for reading :) I adore you xx

[majestyeverlasting]

Hi! Congrats on your one month tumblr anniversary!! Could you please do prompts 30 and 49 with tfatws!bucky x reader? Thank you!

♡ Hi! Thank you so much!! I've been taking my time with these requests in hopes of making each of them special, so I appreciate your patience. In this one, Bucky and the reader travel down to Delacroix, Louisiana to meet up with Sam, Sarah, and the boys at a nice vacation rental on the lake. There's road trip vibes and reunion vibes with cute moments sprinkled in throughout. I hope you enjoy!

♡ Prompt 30: "How many of my hoodies have you snatched up at this point, hmm?"

♡ Prompt 49: "I've never noticed these freckles on your back."

♡ To make a request for my One Month Tumblr-versary, check out my Fluffy Prompt List :)

I Can Feel It Too

Moment after moment, the world outside passed by in a colorful blur; everything from cityscapes, to green pastures, to the low, rolling mountains of the Appalachian. Evening had fallen, and the two of you were approximately two hours away from Delacroix. As you gazed out the passenger window, the clouds above appeared to be rosy as the sun crept further towards the horizon. Bucky’s hand rested on your thigh as he drove, a pair of sunglasses perched on his head. You guys had been taking turns driving the entire way.

Upon reaching the halfway point the previous night, the two of you had booked a hotel room to rejuvenate before setting back out for second day of traveling. Despite how endless the journey had grown to seem, nothing beat being on the road with Bucky. Perhaps, it would’ve been easier to hop on a plane, but there was an undeniable intimacy to only having the road and each other for miles on end.

A few weeks prior, Sam had told him that he was going to Louisiana come the end of the month. That’s what sparked the idea of meeting him there. It had been a while since the two men had seen each other, and even longer since Bucky had been around the community he carried so much gratitude for. The people of Delacroix had lifted his spirits and made him feel at home when he needed it the most. So after you and Bucky confirmed that you’d be driving down as well, Sam booked a vacation rental to accommodate everyone.

Looking away from the pink clouds, you began to play with Bucky’s fingers. There were a couple of rings adorning them—rings you had gotten him. You twisted them idly. For the longest time, the only “jewelry” he wore were his dog tags. You insisted that he started wearing other small pieces, so he wore the rings to appease you. They looked good on him. Enough so that he grew to like them himself after a while.

You brought his hand to your lips and kissed over his knuckles. “Love you,” you spoke into his skin.

He briefly looked over at you. “Love you too, doll.”

The sound of the tires spinning against the asphalt eventually lulled you into a dreamless sleep. Bucky no longer had anyone to talk or point things out to, but he couldn’t bring himself to mind. Especially if it meant that you’d be getting some extra rest. He simply listened to the soft music playing from the stereo and watched the scenery continue to shift. Later, when more marshy bodies of water began to appear alongside the road, it was evident that you two had made it into Delacroix.

When your eyes fluttered open, it was darker than before. The headlights were illuminating a dirt driveway that winded towards a colonial-style home. A few of the curtained windows glowed with warm light coming from the inside. There were also a couple of lights on the porch to prevent the property from looking too dim.

Upon getting closer, Bucky slowed the vehicle to a stop, and cut the engine with a sigh. Then, he looked over at you with a small smile. “We made it,” he said softly.

You returned his smile. “We made it.”

The front door of the house opened when the two of you got out of the car and began stretching. A familiar face appeared, and his voice pierced the symphony of chirping bugs. “Aye! The Brooklyn crew’s here!”

“What’s up, man?” Bucky called back. You gave a happy wave.

Sam jogged over and pulled Bucky into a hug, patting him on the back. Then he wrapped you in a more gentle embrace, giving you a squeeze. He was warm and smelled earthy. The night air was crisp and there was a pleasant stillness to being out in the woods.

Sam shook his head as he looked over the two of you. “It’s been too long.”

“Tell me about it.” Bucky ran a hand through his hair. Then his gaze turned curious, more genuine. “How’ve you been?”

“Good, man. You know I can’t complain,” he said, nodding along with his words. “How ‘bout you two?”

Bucky pulled you closer to his side. “Never better, thanks to this one.”

“Ditto,” you said. That earned a laugh from them.

“But, for real though,” Bucky continued. “I don’t think I’ve ever been better.” You gave a hum of agreement.

“I’m really glad to hear that,” Sam said. A couple seconds passed before he clapped his hands together. “Well, let me go ahead and help y’all bring your stuff inside. You guys probably wanna turn in early tonight.” He looked between you and Bucky with a smile. “I know that drive from New York was no joke.”

“It definitely felt like forever,” you agreed, laughing. “But it feels so good to finally be here.”

Sam sighed. “Well, hey. We appreciate you guys for making the trip. It’s gonna be a chill two weeks,” he promised. “Sarah’s making breakfast in the morning and we’re gonna eat out back on the lake. It’s gonna be great.”

Upon entering the house with your bags and suitcases, you and Bucky were greeted by Sarah, AJ, and Cass, who had been awaiting you in the living room. They’d already changed into their pajamas. A loving round of hello’s and hugs were exchanged. In the background, a cartoon show that the boys had been watching ran quietly. The interior of the house was furnished beautifully with neutral tones and pops of bolder colors.

“I’m so glad you two made it in alright,” Sarah said afterwards. “I’ll go ahead and show you which room is yours.”

The bedroom was at the back of the house with a view of the lake. The pale moonlight reflected in the water with a sparkle. Later, after everyone had retreated to their own rooms for the night, and you and Bucky were alone, you gazed out at it. He came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Isn’t it pretty?” You asked.

“Mhm.” He pressed a kiss to the shell of your ear. “Wait a minute…”

“What?” You turned around to face him. His eyes looked over you.

“Is this mine?” He gently pulled the drawstrings of the dark gray hoodie you were wearing. You had dug it out of your suitcase to ride out the slight chill passing through the house. Someone had set the AC a notch too low.

Bucky didn’t seem to mind the temperature, however. He had yet to pair a shirt with his black basketball shorts.

“It’s yours,” you admitted, giving him a playful bat of your eyelashes.

He cupped your chin with his real hand. “How many of my hoodies have you snatched up at this point, hmm?” You couldn’t help a little laugh. And you were humming a second later when he leaned in to kiss you.

“I don’t know,” you said after he pulled away. “I had to pack at least one of them. They’re cozy and they smell like you.”

“And I bet it’s never gonna find its way back onto my side of the closet.” He tapped your nose.

You grabbed his hand and kissed his finger. “It might.”

“We’ll see about that, pretty girl.” You watched as he went to start pulling back the covers on the bed in preparation for you two going sleep. The comforter was a deep olive that matched the color of the abstract leaf painting that hung over the wooden headboard.

When he finished, he laid horizontally across the bed, letting his head fall lax. “Mmm. It's as comfy as it looks,” he murmured. “M’gonna sleep so good tonight.”

You crawled onto the bed to lay beside him. It was extremely comfortable. When he gave you a tired smile, you propped yourself up and began tracing sweeping lines along his broad back. His muscles relaxed even more beneath your touch. You smiled when your fingers came to a particular place near the bottom of his spine.

“Aww,” you cooed. Bucky lifted his brows. “I’ve never noticed these freckles on your back before.” You brushed your fingertips over the tiny brown spots.

“Surprise,” he teased.

You rolled your eyes, but smiled wider. “You’re annoying,” you quipped lightheartedly. A comfortable silence settled between the two of you for a few moments. The sound of the bugs chirping outside was faint but audible. Finally, you said, “Being here is gonna be so much fun. I can already feel it.”

“I can feel it too.”

[ot3]

hey kinda heavy ace attorney question ig but I agree with you on many things about aa and feel like you have a good understanding of Phoenix and Trucy so I really wanna ask. How do you think the creation of the bloody ace was handled? I’ve seen the idea that Trucy took matters into her own hands and made it as a failsafe without his knowledge, and that he then covered for her, but if that were the case I wonder how he knew about it and planned around it at his trial. I’ve also seen the idea that he made it himself, but gave it to her for delivery to Apollo; which maybe seems the most apparent but I really dislike it because…. It means he uses her to deliver forged evidence. In much the same way he was given the diary page, really. it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve also seen some people suggest that he made it but only gave it to her for use at her discretion, which does give some agency back to her but I also question whether Phoenix would be right in placing that on her shoulders and making it her responsibility. Sorry this expanded into a ridiculously long ask but I really am curious about your take on it?

eoooh yes yes yes i love talking about phoenix and trucy lets goooooo. i actually have a scene from my (still pretty rough and probably never to be finished) wip longfic covering this scene, which ill sick below the cut, but i'll just give my generic thoughts here first.

i think phoenix asked her to do it. trucy having enough detailed knowledge of the crime scene and the events leading up to it and the actual mechanical operation of trials that would be required in order to come up with this plan just doesn't make any sense to me. phoenix is really the only one who could have theoretically concocted this particular move. but since he was presumably held in the detention center until trial, trucy is from there really the only person who could have actually done the thing.

phoenix and trucy are pretty notoriously codependent; i'm headachey and melting from the heat today so rather than doing what i normally do and trawling the wiki to find the quotes that back me up on broadstrokes statements like these so i'm just gonna pull a 'dude just trust me' moment here. the fact that she helps take care of her daddy is a point of pride for her. i don't think it strips trucy of any agency for this to be phoenix's decision because it's not like trucy spends her whole life (or even the entire game) blindly following other peoples orders. her (and phoenix's ) priority at the beginning of aa4 is each other and their own wellbeing, and the decisions they have to make in turnabout trump are indicative of that.

yes, it echoes her bringing the forged evidence to phoenix 7 years ago, but it's more of an inversion/reversal (one might even say a turnabout) than a repetition of past mistakes. in the past she was an unwilling pawn in someone else's plan where her life was collateral, now she's an active and conscious participant in the plan of someone she cares about that she's doing to protect the life she and phoenix have built for themselves. She's not being forced to do it, but i don't think there's any world where she would have said no either. she and phoenix are the most important thing in the world to each other. in their own words, if one of them falls, they both fall.

was it right of phoenix to ask this of her? was it okay for him to do this to apollo, too? obviously it's not a good thing. but it was his only option at that moment. phoenix found himself in a very difficult situation. as an attorney he promised himself to the truth, and that was the principle he lived by, but as a father what he lives by is the promise he made to trucy to never disappear on her. at that moment phoenix did what he had to do to make sure the trial ended the way he needed it to. truth had to take a backseat. his priorities have shifted.

i've also spoken before at length about how i don't think phoenix was plotting against kristoph in the longterm, at least not to the degree which popular fanon seems to agree upon. so really everything he did in turnabout trump was phoenix being backed into a corner using every tool at his disposal to try and snatch victory out of the jaws of defeat. was it right of him to get trucy involved? it's no worse than bringing 8 year old pearl along to crime scenes because he needed her channeling skills. phoenix cares about people deeply but he isn't capable of shielding them from all the harm the world has to offer, and he knows he isn't. half of his capability comes from his shrewdness and willingness and ability to take help when he can get it because he knows, even if its a strain in a short term, he's fighting battles that need to be won at any cost. if that makes any sense

anyway heres the little scene i wrote below the cut.

---------- APRIL 17TH, 2026 DETENTION CENTER VISITOR’S ROOM ----------

Trucy shows up on the dot as visiting hours begin. It’s funny, she thinks. The last time she did this she had a different daddy altogether. Only it really isn’t particularly funny at all, is the thing about it, and she’s going to have quite a few stern words for the man when he gets home.

She picks up the phone on one side of the pane of bulletproof glass and he grabs the other.

“Daddy,” she huffs. “You promised me you’d stay out of trouble.”

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry, Truce.” He puts on an easy smile as he says it, and he uses the same affected tone of voice she had used to start the conversation off. Affected. Cautious, in the sense that it’s levity is entirely manufactured. A performance.

It had been like that between them for real at the beginning, both of them still unsure of each other, pantomiming something resembling a sitcom and playing the real feeling filled in as it went. Thankfully, it did, but the theatrics still lend themselves better to specific conversation.

“Well, if you’re sorry, I suppose I can forgive you! But this isn’t going to look good on your employee review, y’know. I’ll have to bring it up with HR.”

“I’m sure Charley can find it in his heart to forgive me, too.”

“He’s a gentle soul.” She nods.

“You should come watch the trial on Monday, I think it’d be good for you to see.”

“Oh? And why’s that?” Trucy doesn’t like the courthouse. Daddy knows that. She never comes when he goes to use the library there. She also hates, hates the idea of watching her daddy sit in the defendant’s chair not knowing if he’s ever going to come home again. He knows that too.

“Well, there are always interesting things to learn during a court trial. Plus, having you there would help me out a lot!” I need you to do something for me. She reads through the tone into his words’ real meaning. Her stomach clenches. A favor he can’t just outright ask for, not over the phone in the detention center, where every word would be recorded.

“Oh, daddy, no! I’m a magician, not a lawyer, although I understand the confusion.” She drapes a hand over her eyes in faux anguish. “I simply couldn’t, it isn’t my stage.”

“I disagree. I think it’s a perfect stage. Lawyers need cheering up too, you know! Back when I was a lawyer, I used to get really stressed out during cases like these. I bet one of your tricks would do the job.”

“Well what sort of trick do you want me to do?”

“Do you remember the first trick you ever did for me? It was the day we met, at the courthouse. You pulled a piece of paper out of your hat and gave it to me.”

“Yes,” she chirps, forcing a vibrant bubble into her voice. It feels like a pile of rocks in her gut and her pulse starts to quicken. “Of course I remember!”

“I bet if you did that trick again, it’d cheer up the whole courtroom! I bet I’d win my case in a heartbeat.”

----------

Her legs feel like jelly by the time the bus drops her off at the stop near the office. Daddy had kept on like that, loaded phrasing and a lopsided smile as he laced vapid banter with instructions. With warnings. She walks into the storage closet and grabs a deck of cards - one of his, the same style they use at the club, not hers for her tricks. Abruptly, she has a moment of panic as she realizes she’s not even sure what color she’s supposed to use, but then, just as fast, she forces her head clear and just grabs one of each.

They’re unopened. This makes it a cinch to find the card she’s looking for. Her stomach flips.

The worst part isn’t even what she’s doing. The worst part is that she’s doing it at all. Daddy knows well what this situation is making her feel and he’s asking her to do it anyway.

The only explanation left: he’s completely out of options.

She pulls her gloves off and grabs a needle from her sewing supplies. She pricks her finger, and lets a drop fall onto each ace.

----------

[soulmate-game]

Can you do a prompt of Marinette being the daughter of the Joker and Harley but Harley left him before Marinette was born and when Joker found out about his daughter He decided to kidnap Marinette so she can become like him (Ace chemicals) (Daminette)

Woot, my first ask in a while! Let’s see how I can do this oddly specific ask that reminds me of a fic that might actually exist but tbh I’ve read so many fanfics idk if my brain is remembering right

—*—*—*—*—*

Marinette knew Sabine and Tom weren’t her biological parents. She had known ever since she was eight, when her mother by blood visited her for the first time, sat her down, and explained everything. Including, but not limited to, her disastrously toxic past relationship, her new girlfriend, and her recent success with long term rehab (unofficial rehab that mostly consisted of illegal anti-hero actions, but hey if it worked it worked).

Marinette understood. Well no, she really didn’t since she was only eight, but she understood that her mom— that Harley— was genuine. She had always had a knack for emotions and telling when people were sincere or not. And Harley really was regretful about not being in her life beforehand, and was serious about wanting to be part of her life now that her own was mostly sorted out.

So Marinette was not surprised when Harley really did stick it out. When Harley cooed over Marinette copying her hairstyle to show her support of her biological mom, when Harley never failed to call at least once a week even if she was in jail for punching some asshole or another. Harley never stayed arrested long anymore, she was usually found to be on the right side of the moral scale more and more often so the police didn’t bother keeping her locked up anymore. Through the years, Marinette always looked forward to her mom’s calls. Looked forward to being lulled to sleep by one crazy story or another from her mother’s past. Everything was nice. Perfect, even, for a while.

A thump sounded from her balcony, one late night when Marinette was thirteen. Blinking, the dark haired girl furrowed her brows. Who would be on her balcony? Cautiously walking towards the trap door leading to it, grasping her metal pencil holder as a weapon (she remembered all of her Mom’s stories about break-ins and random attacks back in Gotham), the teen strained her ears. Akuma attacks were only a few months old now, but she had already become in high alert for any sign of Hawkmoth or his victims. As per usual, Marinette’s paranoia began to kick in. Did Hawkmoth already figure her out? Was he here for her earrings? Would she be able to fight him?

She gently pushed up the trap door, catching a glimpse of black leather. Huh? Marinette narrowed her eyes, confused. Was it Chat? He should have been on patrol, on the other side of the city. What was he doing visiting her?

Suddenly the trap door yanked the rest of the way open, making Marinette yelp as the handle for it rugged away from her fingers. And there, backlit by the pure blue-white moonlight, was Not Chat Noir. It was Catwoman, in all her skintight black leather glory, grinning at her before pushing her cat-eye goggles up to the top of her head and crouching down by the trap door’s entrance, balancing only on the pads of her feet.

“Well hello there~” the woman purred. “So you’re the cute little kitten Harley is so secretive about. Nice to finally meet you,” the woman held out a hand, sending Marinette a sweet, if mysterious, smile. For a while, the pigtailed girl only stared before a squeal of excitement left her throat, leaving very little room for any doubt as to her bloodline. A large smile curled over Marinette’s lips, leaving her beaming widely at the catlike woman on her balcony.

“Auntie Selina! Mom’s told me so much about you! Come in, come in, come in! I’ll sneak some macaroons up for you. Or do you prefer croissants? What’s your favorite flavor? Are you really dating Batman? Oh my goodness, that necklace is so lovely! Did you steal it?”

Selina could only chuckle fondly at the word vomit, letting the smaller girl drag her down the trap door and into her very… pink room. Looking around, Selina was once again slapped with just how similar this kid was to her outgoing friend. Marinette clearly had no shame in indulging in the things she liked, such as the color pink and anything regarding fashion. But there were other things amongst the girliness of the room, like the posters of Jagged Stone and the training dummy half-sticking out of her closet door. There were a few ornamental knives hung up behind her computer, seemingly just for decoration although Selina could see that they were definitely battle ready and sharpened. A small mallet, clearly a miniature replica of her mother’s own signature weapon, leaned up against the side of the girl’s laundry basket. But then there was Marinette’s mannequin, which was surrounded by meticulously cut pieces of cloth and had other pieces pinned to it strategically. Marinette clearly had the same professionalism and love for her chosen career that had so completely defined Harley in the Time Before Joker. The same genius intellect hiding in those deceptively cheerful bluebell eyes. And for the first time, though not for the last to be sure, Selina found herself thoroughly relieved that it seemed Marinette had inherited very little from her father.

Except, as she would learn from stories Harley told her later, an apparent affinity for chaos.

“I’m not that picky, kitten. But I’m not that hungry, so don’t go too out of your way,” Selina decided to just react the same way she did with Harley’s rambles, and answer one question at a time. “Also, I am actually dating Bruce Wayne. But, if you promise not to tell anyone—“ she waited for Marinette’s eager nod before continuing casually, “— the two are maybe not as mutually exclusive as many think,” Selina finished with a conspiratorial wink. “No, I actually did not steal this necklace. Bruce has been adamant in trying to curb me of my thieving habit by buying me almost everything I so much as glance at sideways. It’s sweet. Naive, because I like stealing for the fun of it, but sweet.”

Marinette giggled, bouncing in place happily. She loved a bit of innocent gossip like this. “Is Momma Ivy ever gonna visit? I don’t think Mom told her much about me yet, and I still gotta give her the shovel talk!” the fierce look that overcame Marinette’s face made Selina laugh again. Oh yes, definitely her mother’s daughter.

“Pam has been trying to sneak over, but the laws regarding Metahumans in Paris suddenly got much stricter a few months back and have caused some problems. You wouldn’t happen to know what happened, would you?” Selina did not miss when her seemingly innocent question caused her niece to close off almost instantly. Bluebell eyes took on a familiar guardedness, and scanned her with the same soul-searching intensity that Harley had when she was channeling her Psychiatrist side. Selina found herself in a slightly concerning spot though—

Because she couldn’t predict Marinette at all. She was left to simply stand there as Marinette searched for some unidentifiable thing in her eyes, completely unable to read the younger girl’s face and with no idea of what to expect. The side effect of having chaos so thoroughly entwined in both of her biological parents, she supposed.

“Nope, no idea.”

Selina knew that was a lie, but knew equally as well that she would not be getting a better answer anytime soon. So, she let it go and the two of them once again dipped into innocent chatter.

Later that night, when Selina left and the sun threatened to rise at any minute, Tikki flew up from her hiding spot under Marinette’s pillow to land on her holder’s shoulder. Marinette giggled and looked over at her little friend.

“Tikki?”

“Yes, Mari?”

“Why was I chosen to be your holder?” She asked suddenly, flopping back into her bed and staring at her ceiling. The little goddess hummed, smiling knowingly before flying down to cuddle in the crook of Marinette’s neck.

“Because you are born from luck itself. Even when bad things happen, you have the luck and determination to get out just fine, and stronger than before. And despite the destruction and anarchy in your blood, you have the willpower to reign it in and keep control of yourself. That’s all order really is, Marinette. The decision to take all the chaos and madness around us, and make it make sense. Make it do something good. And that’s a large part of who you are, I could feel it in your soul the moment we first met.”

Marinette closed her eyes, biting the inside of her cheek. “What if I lose control?”

“... You’ll just have to get it back. It’ll be hard, but as long as you have people to support you, you will be able to do it. You aren’t evil, Marinette,” the small God seemed to sense the true question her holder was asking, and did her best to soothe the doubt the girl felt. “Just remember the reasons you fight against chaos. Remember everyone you love, and you’ll be okay. And you have me, I’ll always help you.”

“... thank you, Tikki.”

—*—*—*—*—*

“He’s going to find out, Mom.”

“No he won’t, don’t be silly! I’ve been very careful about hiding you from him, Nettie-pie.”

“Mom… I just have a bad feeling. I don’t think we can hide who I am from him. If he sees me, I think he’ll know.”

The phone went silent.

“If he hurts you, I’ll kill him. If I was crazy about him, Sugar, then I’m head over heels for you. Not even he can stop me from caving his skull in if he tries his usual tricks with you.”

“... My plane leaves soon, I’ll talk to you when I land. And mom?”

“Yeah, honeycake?”

“I love you.”

—*—*—*—*—*

It was uncanny just how often Marinette’s hunches were right. Her intuition was something to behold, truly, because it only took three days in Gotham before Joker snatched her right out of her room at Harley and Ivy’s apartment. At least Marinette had sixteen by then, so she had had enough experience as a hero in Paris and with generally unpredictable situations and people who were absolutely nuts for her to not immediately panic. Too much, anyway.

Because there was definitely a little panic there.

See, Marinette knew herself inside out by then. After her own battle with her toxic feelings towards Adrien and doing her best to heal from those before she turned out like her mom, she knew she was by no means mentally indestructible. Mental illness ran the high risk of being inherited, and Marinette was well aware that her own personality was scarily similar to her mother’s at times. She got attached quickly, felt affection and love for others very strongly and, as she found with Adrien, could easily become obsessive if she didn’t watch herself. At least Harley was the perfect person to help with that, and Marinette was serious about helping herself too. She did everything she could to keep an eye on her mental health and keep her behavior in check so she didn’t do anything too unhealthy with her relationships again.

But she knew, she knew she had a soft spot for family. She got attached too easily. And being in the same room as her biological father, despite being tied up by her hands and feet and knowing just how many unforgivable things he had done in his life, Marinette felt vulnerable. She didn’t want to hurt him, despite everything. She still loved him, despite every reason not to, despite her first meeting with him being with him shoving chloroform over her face and hogtying her to a metal chain dangling over a vat of acid.

Geez, she’d need more than just her mom as a therapist after this for sure. Even if her mom had a PH.D, Marinette felt like she’d need several psychiatrists to sort through her emotional turmoil right then and make sense of any of it.

Marinette licked her lips, aware that the only kindness that Joker gave his daughter was sparing her from the discomfort of being gagged.

“Don’t,” Marinette said, surprising herself with the amount of steel she was able to put into her voice. Somehow, she managed to make the single word sound more like an order than a plead. “Joker, put me—“

“Ah-Ah-Ah!” The clown walked over, tutting and waving his finger in the air in almost playful admonishment. He gave her a dramatically fake pout. “Don’t you know it’s disrespectful to refer to your father by his first name?” Neither of them mentioned that Joker was definitely not his real name. They both knew the point was moot. “Say it with me now— ‘Daddy dearest, I am more than willing to be dunked in acid for you,’ go ahead, say it.”

Marinette’s jaw clenched. Familial love or not, she would not tolerate being ridiculed like that. She dealt with enough ridicule when she was fourteen and fifteen during school, before she put Liar Rossi in her place. She had spent the past three years as a hero in charge of the war against Hawkmoth, in charge of protecting all of Paris from an emotional terrorist.

And gee, wasn’t that what Joker was, too? Sure, he was a terrorist in the classic meaning of the word as well, but he was nothing if not a skilled manipulator. He knew the human mind just as well as Harley or any other psychiatrist did, he just used his knowledge for different means. He had emotionally abused Harley for years, he emotionally abused and manipulated people all across gotham on a daily basis. He was just another Hawkmoth, but with more physical violence in place of magic.

With these thoughts strengthening her resolve, Marinette narrowed her eyes at the man who donated half of her DNA. She let her anger boil into her irises, hitting him with one of the few traits she knew she inherited from him.

Her ability to intimidate others on the tip of a hat.

“No,” she growled back at him. She took a deep breath. It had taken her a while, but she refused to be ashamed of who she was regardless of her blood relation. She would have no problem using the very things she inherited from Joker against him. She might have gotten most of Harley’s personality, she might have inherited her mother’s habit of falling in love hard, fast, and obsessively, but she also had Joker’s defiance. His bone-deep inability to be stopped from doing exactly whatever the fuck he wanted.

And then, there were Marinette’s own traits. The ones that were completely her own, developed over her life organically. Like her refusal to bow down to bullies, her creativity, her ability to take even the most chaotic situation and see some sort of balance and sanity in it that she could use to her advantage.

That she WOULD use to her advantage. The shadows she saw move out of the corner of her eye gave her the chance to do exactly that, she just needed to buy a few more seconds. Just a few more seconds.

“Excuse me?” Joker growled right back, his own intimidation, honed over more years than Marinette had been alive and thus much more potent than her own, reading its ugly head as he stalked towards her. His face was pulled down into an ugly snarl, his shoulders tensed and back straight as he glared right at her. From his spot on the metal walkway, he was easily able to reach over the railing and grab her chin in one pale, viciously strong hand. “I think you’re misunderstanding something here, little Marionette. I’m your father. Half of your life came directly from ME. That makes you my puppet. You exist to follow my orders,” his right grip suddenly let go, leaving behind the beginnings of a bruise as his entire demeanor changed from angry to cheerful. He spread his arms as if gesturing to the whole chemical plant victoriously, and an unnaturally large smile curved over his lips and bared yellowing teeth at her. “But that’s okay. I’ll forgive you this time, you haven’t learned any better yet. That’s why we’re here. We need to cleanse you of all those icky bad habits you’ve learned up until now, all you need is a little,” he bounced in place with a wicked smirk to illustrate his next words— “jumpstart. A little acid goes a long way to enlightenment you know, you’ll see my side of things in no time. And with my blood in you, you’ll make a better sidekick than that idiot Harley ever did. I can sense it, you’ve got a real talent for Chaos in you, it’s exciting, Heheeeheheee! Now then, we should probably speed things along before our family reunion is cut short. Hang in there, my little Marionette,” the man actually had the gall to spin in place while humming a tune cheerfully before all but dancing over to the lever that held Marinette’s length of chain in the air over the vat of chemicals below her. “Everything will clear up in that little head of yours in just a second!”

There! Right as Joker pulled the switch to lower her into the bubbling vat underneath her, Marinette was able to finish untying her hands. She couldn’t contain a small yelp as gravity flung her body forward, leaving her upside down on the chain for a brief moment. That was when the chain started lowering rapidly, and Marinette was barely able to rip the rope off of her ankles in time to swing off of it and onto the metal walkway that came up right next to the giant metal container of liquid death and insanity. Joker had barely enough time to shout in rage before the windows near the ceiling shattered, admitting the city’s vigilantes themselves. Batman, Nightwing, Red Robin, Red Hood, Robin, and evening Black Bat all landed on the same metal platform above Marinette’s head that Joker was still on, buying the teen time to start running. But she didn’t go towards the exit right away, instead heading right up the stairs into the thick of the fight. Robin briefly separated from where Joker was managing to hold his own, goons flooding from side doors to inhibit the heroes in their attempt to bring their boss down.

The katana-using vigilante kept one eye on Marinette the whole time, suspicious of why the girl would come back up if not to help her father. But that wasn’t what she did, instead she flipped and kicked and punched her way through the quickly growing sea of Joker thugs until she reached a small pink purse that had been abandoned near the lever that had nearly sent her into liquid insanity. Three thugs surrounded her right as she snatched the purse up and slung it over her shoulder, but Robin barely had the chance to head over before she was heaving the men, who were all easily three times her size, over her shoulder and was slamming elbows into soft spots and the side of her hand into pressure points. By the time Robin got to her side, all three men were unconscious and bound to wake up in utter agony.

Marinette glanced up, getting ready to haul Robin over her shoulder as well before she realized who he was. She let her shoulders relax just a tick, sighing in relief before returning her eyes to scanning their surroundings. She shot him a brief grin.

“Good thing my adoptive mother, Mom, Momma Ivy, and Auntie Selina all made sure I knew how to take down a small army on my own, huh?” She asked rhetorically before they were both unceremoniously dragged back into the giant brawl.

—*—*—*—*—*

“Nettie-pie!”

“Marigold!”

Harley and Pamela Quinzel-Isley shoved down anyone and everyone who dared block their direct path to their daughter. The girl of the hour stood next to the bat clan, a shock blanket held tightly around her shoulders as she did her best to finish her statement to both the vigilantes and Commissioner Gordon.

“You untied yourself… from a ship-grade knot in high quality rope… with a phone charm?” They heard Gordon ask incredulously, to which Marinette could only give a lopsided smile. That was when her mom and stepmom crashed into her, enveloping her in a nearly suffocating hug.

“Gah— mom— momma Ivy—“ Marinette flailed in their arms for a bit before finally getting her head free and continuing her statement as if she didn’t have two of the most dangerous women in the city still giving her a bone crushing hug. “That’s better. Yes, Commissioner. You see, I realized when I was in the car with Joker, while I was pretending to still be unconscious, that one of the charms on my phone had pretty sharp corners that I could use like a serrated edge if I had enough time. So I carefully detached it from my phone, and held it in my palm. It took almost an hour, but once Joker noticed I was awake I kept him talking so that he didn’t notice what I was doing even as he tied me up to that chain. Really, it’s just lucky that I was able to get it worn down in time,” Marinette rubbed the back of her neck with a nervous chuckle. “But regardless, I think Batman and his partners,” she nodded to the listening vigilantes just to the side of her. “Were close enough that I would have been caught anyway, I just wanted to make sure they had less work to do. The sooner I freed myself, the sooner ‘Daddy Dearest,’” she grimaced as she mockingly used the same term Joker had tried to get her to say earlier that night. “Could go back behind bars where he belongs.”

“Oh my little Nettie-cake,” Harley cried, finally pulling back from the hug long enough to wipe her cheeks. It was clear that she had been crying for a while, and her colorful pigtails were mussed and tangled from where she must have been tugging on them in worry. “You were right. I’m so sorry, I never should have let you come to Gotham when I knew he was out of Arkham.”

Marinette was quick to shake her head frantically, pulling her arms out of Ivy’s hold so she could grasp Harley’s shoulders firmly. “No. No, Mom, I’m fine! And besides, we knew I couldn’t stay secret forever. I really like staying with you and Momma Ivy! Everything turned out fine though, and he’s headed back to Arkham. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay, Nettle,” Pam argued, distracting herself by running her hands through Marinette’s bangs. She had only known the girl for two years, but that was more than long enough for her to consider the teenager as her own. “He took you right out from under our noses. You were supposed to be safe in our home, and he still got to you. That’s not okay. We weren’t able to protect you like we should have been. Maybe you should go back to Paris early.”

“What?! No way!” Marinette argued, eyes wide. “This is the first time I’ve been able to ever visit you guys in Gotham, I’m not letting some psycho sperm donor keep me from enjoying time with my family! I came here knowing full well that it was dangerous. I’m not gonna just run away after one bad experience.”

Harley snorted, and then devolved into uncontrollable giggles. “Heh— psycho sperm donor. Good one, sugar!”

Marinette smiled and rolled her eyes good naturedly at her mom’s usual immature antics. Seeing as Gordon had walked away muttering to himself a short while ago, Marinette pulled herself the rest of the way away from her moms and turned to the vigilantes. Without a second’s pause, she bowed to them just like her Maman Sabine taught her.

“Thank you for helping save me. I know it’s probably a shock that I’ve been kept secret from you guys all this time, but I hope you don’t lump me in with the likes of the green-haired half of my DNA. I’m staying with my Moms in their apartment, if you guys decide to patrol by our place like I suspect, I’ll leave some baked goods and coffee out for you on our patio. It’s the least I can do for you all after tonight. And don’t be too hard on Auntie Selina. Me and Mom swore her to secrecy, even from you guys.”

Batman jerked a little at the mention of Catwoman’s real name, jaw twitching for a second. Behind his cowl, his eyes narrowed. Marinette laughed, easily reading his body language and expression.

“She never told me who you are, but she didn’t exactly hide it either. It was easy to put the last pieces together on my own. But don’t worry, SHE swore me to secrecy too. I won’t tell anyone.

“How the hell are you related to the Laughing Asswipe from Hell?” Red Hood blurted out, his confusion clear even from behind his hideous helmet. Marinette burst into giggles, and both Pamela and Harley smiled knowingly.

“Mom gave me up for adoption when I was born, so I spent my whole life in Paris up until now,” she admitted. “Mom didn’t visit me for the first time until I was eight, and she and my adoptive parents are so awesome that it must’ve suffocated the worst traits from his DNA before they had a chance to develop,” she guessed out loud with a good natured smile.

Batman grunted. Marinette knew that one run-in wasn’t enough for them to trust her. After all, she was still the biological daughter of their arch enemy. But she didn’t mind, she understood the caution even if she didn’t fully agree with it. They weren’t outright hostile, despite the fact that Robin had never stopped glaring at her since they fought back-to-back against the mob of thugs earlier. She could live with their suspicion, as long as they continued to not be outright rude or mean to her.

At least she could empathize with Adrien now, whenever she figured out how to break it to him that Hawkmoth was definitely Gabriel and couldn’t be anyone else. Hopefully she could help soften the blow for him a little.

Harley and Ivy were starting to herd Marinette towards their car and take her back home, where they could continue to smother her in care and make sure she didn’t have even a scratch on her, when Robin’s voice stopped them all in their tracks.

“You are a surprisingly capable combatant.”

Marinette froze, blinking in surprise for a second before turning to stare at Robin in shock. The rest of the Bat Clam was doing the same, nobody expecting Robin of all people to be the first to directly complement Marinette. He tutted, crossing his arms, but never moved his gaze away from Marinette’s eyes.

“But your form could use some work. Most of your style is incredibly improvised, which I can appreciate since you do it well, but you would benefit from more structure in your fighting. I will set up a time and place for us to spar. We start in two days, if you think you can handle it.”

It took a while for what Robin said to sink in, and another few seconds for Marinette to decipher what his semi-aggressive, order-phrased proposal really meant. And she smiled.

“It’s a date.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Woo! This started off a little rough, but I really like how it ended up! Thank you, Anon!

[amindofstone]

Jolly sailor

{

a/n: Dream a little dream with me and imagine. Imagine Luffy being able to save Ace and him making it out of the Marineford. Imagine him taking Whitebeards place as the captain and keeping the crew together. Now imagine...

Words: 5164 (I´m sorry my fingers didn´t stop typing.)

Genre: anime imagine?

Warnings: Maybe grammar or spelling mistakes. (I genuinely apologize. English is not my mother tongue and I´m really trying to improve. So please be so kind and have mercy)

Character(s): Portgas D. Ace x reader (Serena)

Info: For better reading keep in mind that the words in italic are Serenas (readers) train of thoughts. And the words put between a note “” are the lyrics of the song “Jolly Sailor Bold” I was inspired by.

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. This took me a lot of time. So please respect me as the writer and my work. Piczure is not mine. Credits to the rightful owner (Twitter: @tsuyomaru1a). !!!

}

◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇~◇

“Mommy?”, said the boy sitting at the dining table, while trying to focus on his drawing. Serena, the mother of the boy with the raven black hair hummed in response without looking up from her painting. “Where you ever at the Grand Line or the New World?”, Serena who was painting the person that appeared in her dreams last night, stopped in her tracks and looked at the direction the little boy was sitting at. The question of her son caught her by surprise what made her look at him quite dumbfounded. “Ehm… Dear, where did that question come from now?”, she asked while she put her brush aside. The little boy who still wasn´t looking up shrugged his shoulders and gave an answer what could also have been that from his father. “Probably somewhere from the corner of my brain.”, he answered and looked his mother in the eyes. He knew that his way of talking resembled that of his father a lot what always surprised his mother when he talked because he rarely was home, but still he managed to sound like him. So every time he said something his father also could have said, his mother would stop doing whatever she was busy with at the moment and just stare at him with the same loving eyes she looked at his father. And every time she did so, he always tried to never miss the sight of that, because it made him proud to see that he could make his mother happy with such a simple thing.

“Well yes, I grew up on an island on the Grand Line until my teenage years. After I turned 20 I guess I ended up somewhere in the New World where I also met your father. But you already know that so why ask me that?”, Serena slowly approached her son and sat down next to him. Her son Faun, who seemed to be thinking about something deeply, put his pen down and intended to ask another question when he stopped himself by putting his small hand over his mouth. The little gesture made the brunet haired woman next to him laugh. Faun was now slowly looking back to his mothers face and tried to form a proper sentence. “May I.. ehm.. ask you some questions about… well about… you and… dad?”, although the young boy knew that his mother did not like talking about her past he always wanted to know so much about her. He always tried to ask her some questions but she somehow always managed to get out of those situations by changing the topic or making him forget what he wanted from her. Even now he had no hope of hearing her tell him her and his dad’s story. He was about to apologize and get back to his drawing when she took him in her arms and left her atelier behind. “Mom? Where are we going?”, asked the confused little boy. But Serena just smiled at him lovingly and kept walking. When she did not reply to him he decided to keep quiet and see what´s going to happen. Little did he know that she was going to tell him the story he always wanted to hear. Serena walked into her bedroom and placed her usually talkative son on the bed she slept on alone for the last eight months. Sitting on his mother’s bed, Faun was following her steps with his eyes. While she was busy taking a box out of her closet. After taking the box out of its place she closed the doors to her closed and walked back to her son and sat down next to him on the bed that seemed to be bigger than usually since she slept alone on it.

“Tell me Faun. I do know that you saw pictures of me when I was younger but did you ever saw a picture of your father when he was younger or a child?”, the Question caught the ten years old boy by surprise what made him blink a few times. But he quickly pulled himself together and shook his head a bit to fast. She gave him a loving smile and went through his raven black hair. “In that case I´ll start telling you something about your father with some pictures of him and that of some others. Alright?”, the look the incredibly beautiful boy gave her was worth to be photographed but she did not dare to leave him just to go and get a camera so she just took him in her arms and kissed his cheek while laughing. “You have pictures of Dad, when he was younger?! Wow! Was he good looking? Was he as muscular as he is now?”, curiosity rolled over Serena’s son what made him ask one question after another. It took him a while until she could calm him down and make him focus on what she is going to tell him so she took her time and let him talk for a while. While he did so she couldn´t stop thinking about his father, her husband. The man who stole her heart, her mind and her soul.

A man every person feared and respected at the same time. A man whose story was spread around the world like that of a tale. Whose story was seen as that of a hero who also played the villain at the same time. The name of that man is well known. A tale with a title that can create any kind of emotions when read. A title made of just a name. A name that was and forever will be the cause of her racing her heart and trembling hands. A name that was engraved in her heart and carried by her soul with so much love and passion that it caused her pain. A name that was always on her mind. Portgas D. Ace.

I wonder how he is doing right now. Is he alright? Is he hurt? Is he getting enough sleep?

“Mom? Is everything ok?”, Serena got lost in her thoughts thinking about the man who promised her to come see her every four months and forgot that she had her son sitting in front of her. “Mom is everything alright? You look sad. Did I upset you?”, the huge smile that was lingering on the plum red lips of her son was now gone. Serena knew that Faun was not the child he used to be. A little boy she could trick with a smile or by changing the topic. He no longer was the naïve boy he used to be. He was a mature 10 years old boy. For her taste even to mature but Luffy said that he is just like Ace himself. He told her stories about him as a 10 years old boy who was also really mature for his age and who did things she could never think of.

🎼 Upon one summer's morning, I carefully did stray. Down by the Walls of Wapping, where I met a sailor gay. 🎼

Faun was about to call his mother again when she took a deep breath and started to speak in a soft calm voice. A voice that was so beautiful that could make any person weak in their knees. Her voice what was one of the many things Ace fell in love with.

“It was a calm and warm morning on the island I was living in at that time.”, Faun was taken aback for a second but quickly understood that she was telling him what he always wanted to hear. So he sat back and listened. “It was a huge island but not many people lived there. There was a small village of probably just 100 people. They were really nice people. Each of them was friendly and respectful, with caring and funny personalities. I loved them from the bottom of my heart. As you know my beloved Faun, I am half mermaid but they never judged me because of that. I fact they never made me feel out of place. They helped me and my father every day. They brought me my favorite sweets, my fathers favorite dishes and clothes for the both of us. When my mother came visiting us they would treat her like any other person on the island. They loved me and my small family so much that they even where ready to fight for us when one of the most strongest pirates stopped at the island and asked for my father. It was really funny because my father knew the pirates but they still were suspicious and didn´t trust them a bit. When my father invited some of them to our house the women of the village would come and literally drag me out of my house and keep me in theirs until they left.”, the memories of the village and the time she spend there made her emotional. She missed all of them. They turned in just a short period into her family. A family that loved her more than she ever deserved.

“Now guess who those pirated were my father knew?”, Faun did exactly was his mother asked him to do. He thought and came up with a bunch of famous pirate names but each time she said no. When he looked at his mother with a mad and frustrated sigh, a chuckle left her and she sat her son in between her legs and placed a kiss on his head. “It were the Whitebeard pirates, who are now called …”, before she could finish the sentence her son finished it with big eyes filled by amazement. “… the White Fire pirates. Grandpa knew Whitebeard?! But how?”, Serena smiled at her son and opened the box she previously took out of her closet. The box was filled with different pictures. Some by people he instantly recognized and some by people he didn´t knew. “My father was part of the Whitebeard crew and was in the fifth division. And what made this division so special was that it was called the swordsmen division. And yes. Before you start to freak out again, Grandpa is a swordfighter.”, it only took a second for the boy to lose control over himself again and to start jumping around out of excitement. “Oh Mother! You have to tell me more! Why did you never said that Grandpa was so awesome?!”, a small giggle left Serena before she took her sons hand in hers and sat him down in front of her again. “Father was an amazingly strong pirate and on top of that a good man. That´s why he was so loved by the village.”, Serena took out a picture of her father when he was in his forties and Serena just 19. Faun looked at the picture with an open mouth and talked without thinking. A habit he had from Ace. “No offense but he looks older than he is now on the picture. How can one look so old? And no wonder dad fell in love with you. You were beautiful! But now you are even more beautiful. Don´t tell dad but you even look better than him. Just a bit though!!”, the words that left the young boys mouth made Serena laugh. How come he is so much like his father when he´s barely home and with us?

“You really need to stop telling him that he looks so old. Otherwise he won´t come see us anymore.”, Serena let Faun still look at the pictures of her and her father when she took out a picture of Ace as a young man in the age of just 20.

🎼 Conversing with a young lass, who seem'd to be in pain. Saying, William, when you go I fear you'll ne'er return again. 🎼

“The day they came to our island was not one to be happy. It was a sad reunion between my father and the pirates. A lot of their crew mates where hurt and some of them were even close to death. They needed help and a new captain. One of those who were about to die was your father my dear Faun. Uncle Marco who is the commander of the first division was worried to death because he couldn´t help him. He was just able to keep him alive while he was in coma. And this is when I meet him for them first time. Badly injured and with a weakly beating heart that threatened to stop keeping him alive. My father called me and convinced me to heal him since I ate from a devil fruit that gave me the ability to heal people. Marco and the other commanders talked to me and promised me to give me anything I wanted when I would promise them to heal Ace. Their friend, their commander and the man they would die for.”. the memories of Ace when he was close to death made her realize how worried she was about him now. Ace, who was now her husband. He should have been here four months ago. He should have came and see her and their son but he didn´t came. He did not reply to any of her letters in the last two months. Her heart clenched with the thought of him getting hurt and she started to cry. “Mom? Why are you crying?”, She didn´t wanted her son to see her cry and make him worried. She didn´t wanted him to lose hope in his father and the promise that he´ll come see them again. So she wiped her tears away and smiled. “It´s just that I miss my old hometown. It’s nothing serious.”, Faun hugged his mother and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “No need to be sad. When dad comes home we can ask him how Grandpa is doing because he always visits him whenever he comes back home. Now please stop crying and show me your smile. I want to see your dimples and kiss them just like dad does whenever you’re sad!” Ace. Just know that although you might not be here with me and although I am left alone with my longing for you and the painful emptiness in my heart caused by your absence, the presence of our son takes all of that away from me.

Serena gave her son the smile he asked her to show him and instantly got showered with kisses. “Are you feeling better Mom? If not I give you more kisses and hug you for hours just like a koala does a tree. No wait. I hold onto you like a sloth holds onto a tree! Yes that´ll do for sure. Wait no! Sloths aren´t cute though….”, the adorable nonsense her son talked managed to make her laugh again. Marco was right; although father and son are not always together they are alike. Even to the point Faun sometimes looks like Ace´s clone. “Now what happened next? Please tell me more.”, Serena nodded and showed him more pictures.

🎼 My heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain all glittering gold. There is nothing can console me, but my jolly sailor bold. 🎼

“It took us a long time until all of the men were healthy again. But it took us the most making sure Ace was back to his normal state. Although he had the power of the fire fruit it took a long time until he was fully healthy. That caused a lot of them to be worried since they planned to make him to their new captain at that time.”, Serena showed Faun pictures of some of the Commanders and Ace when he suddenly said something that made her blush. But as quickly as the pink shade crept up her cheeks as quickly did it also leave and that only because of the words of her little boy. “That’s a great story but how did you and dad fall in love? Can you tell me that? Uncle Marco told me that Dad is the main cause of any problem they have and a risky captain. He never backs off from any fight, what I also do and forever will but compared to him you are his total opposite. You are calm and he is loud. He is ready to take risks you try to avoid anything that is close to being a bit difficult. It´s like a normal civilian and a princess that ended up as a couple. How did you to end up marring?”, Serena looked at his son with an unreadable gaze lingering upon her. She was shocked by his words but also in the verge of laughing out loud. At the end she wasn´t able to keep her laughter in and started to laugh. While she was holding her stomach from the pain her son was looking at her with an emotionless face. “What did I say?”, with a slightly tilted head the green eyed boy was looking up at his mother with confusion written all over his face. “Oh dear!”, Serena wiped the tears away that fell on her cheeks before she started to talk again. “I do understand what you mean but don´t you know the saying opposites attracts? But going honest I have to admit that it did take us both a while before we actually understood that we had feelings for each other. In those weeks where I took care of him and his crew while they decided on how to start all over again as pirates, I started to get happy whenever he was around me. I turned into the happiest living being whenever he called me or asked me for a favor. Whenever he needed anything I was the first one to go get that. No matter what it was. I loved him but I couldn´t believe it at the beginning until he and his crew left the island. Days and nights passed and I got sadder whenever I saw something that reminded me of him. I couldn´t sleep. I couldn´t eat. I was lost and felt empty. I was restless and somehow just existing. One day I got a letter. The envelop had just my name on it and nothing else. But somehow I still knew that is was from your father. The letter itself had no actual beginning nor and ending. The content of the letter wasn´t anything special but still made me more than just happy. If any other person would have read it they would have been disappointed and wouldn´t think about it. They even would have called it unnecessary and nonsense. But to me it was more than that. It was special because it made me feel like he thought about me and the time he was on the island. You know what made it so special was that fact that he started his writing where our talking ended before he left. This was the beginning of us getting closer. The love I had for him, the sentence anyone who was in love would have probably said hundreds of times never left my mouth nor had a place in my letters for him. He on his side did also never mention those three magical words. I don´t know about him but I was way to scared to say it out loud or write it down. I was scared that he might not feel the same and just see me as a good friend. But my heart was telling me otherwise. I was always praying to read those three words in one of his letters but never was disappointed when he did not write it down. Getting those letters and writing mine for him was a feeling I could never explain. I was filled by pure joy and love whenever I read his letters or wrote for him.”, Serena talked and talked. She told him anything she could think of while her heart was racing and her eyes were fixed on her hand with the ring he proposed to her. She remembers all those little moments with him. All those months and years of her crying over him. She remembers all those restless nights filled by the pained sobs that left her, accompanied by her aching and longing heart. She didn´t realized but while the memories of the man she would die for slowly made their way back to her mind a single tear fell down her cheek what made her realize how much she missed him and his touch. His voice calling her name and his laugh that would always light up her days.

🎼 His hair it hangs in ringlets, his eyes as black as coal. My happiness attend him wherever he may go. 🎼

Serena knew that she shouldn´t be crying in front of Faun so she kept the pain and the tears that threaded to fall back for later. But still she missed his presence more than ever. Eight months passed and he did not come back home. He should have been back four months ago. She should be getting letters from him every one or two weeks but nothing came. She was worried to death and couldn´t bear the pain anymore. She was scared of losing him. She was sacred to open the newspaper and read an article about his death. She wanted him to quit being a pirate and do whatever Garp would tell him. She wanted him to be save. Save, happy and at home. But she knew that his happiness is not only made of her and their son but also by sailing and being the free man he always wished to be. He wanted to be just like the man who saved him and gave him a reason to live. The man he called father from the bottom of his heart. The man he owns his life. She knew her wish of him being with her was selfish. She knew that she was selfish for wanting him to quit being a pirate but what else could she do? She was scared to death. She wanted him to be next to her. Somewhere she could take care of him and hold him. Kiss him and tell him how much she loved him. How much he meant to her. He was her life. The reason why she kept living. The reason she woke up every morning. He was the reason of her happiness.

But she put everything aside and let him be. She let him do whatever he wanted to do. She let him do whatever his heart desired and made him happy. Just so she could see him smile. He deserved it. He deserves to be happy and loved. He suffered enough in his life and deserves to be carefree now.

🎼 From Tower Hill to Blackwall. I'll wander, weep and moan. All for my jolly sailor until he sails home. 🎼

Faun was looking at a picture that showed his mother and his father at their wedding that was held on the main flagship of the White Fire Pirates, when he realized that his mother stopped talking. He looked at her and followed her gaze that was lingering upon her hand with her wedding ring. He saw her eyes that were filled with tears and was irritated since her lips were showing a beautiful smile. He wanted to say something and console her but he knew that he should not do anything since it might make it even worse. He knew that if he started consoling her by telling her that father was alright she might lose it all and break down. He knew his mother well. She was a soft hearted woman with a heart of gold. Although she was a strong woman with admirable fighting abilities she still was a woman in love after all. He remembers his Grandfather telling him that no matter how strong a person is. When they’re in love their strength can´t save them from the pain love brings. Faun was lost.

He didn´t wanted his mother to cry. When he asked her to tell him something about his father he didn´t wanted her to cry. He felt bad and started to tear up. Guilt took over him and he started to shed tears. “I´m sorry mother! I made you cry. I made you think about your past. I´m sorry.”, the son of the emperor was now hugging his mother while apologizing over and over again. “No my dear. It is not your guilt. And who says that I´m crying? See I´m all good. There is nothing to feel bad about. Hear me out. It it getting late. How about we get ready for bed? I tell you more about your father some other day. Alright?”, Faun who was still hugging his mother just nodded while soft sobs left him. The pained mother took her sons face in her hands and put a kiss on his forehead with a smile on her lips. She took his hand in hers and led him into the bathroom and prepared him for the night. And just like any other night she started to sing his favorite song. Usually Faun would never dare to make her stop since it calmed him down and made him feel loved and special. But tiday was different. There was a question lingering on his mind he needed an answer to. So he called for the woman he loved the most and made her stop singing to him not even half way through the song. “Mom I have a question. Is dad alright? Will he ever come back?”, when Serena thought that nothing’s going to worsen the pain in her chest her own flesh and blood proved her wrong. It took her a lot of courage and strength to put on a bright smile and answer him with a stabile and confident voice. “Of course he is doing fine. He is Fire fist Ace after all, isn´t he? And why shouldn’t he come back home? There is no reason to think that. Your father loves you more than anything on this planet. Believe it or not but he loves you even more than he loves Uncle Luffy or Uncle Sabo.”, the words of the half mermaid made the young boys sad face turn into a bright happy one with a huge smile upon his lips. “Thank you mother. Could you maybe continue with the song? I really love hearing it before falling asleep.”, Serena who was laying down next to her son nodded and continued singing the song not only he loved but also his father.

“My heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain all glittering gold. There is nothing can console me but my jolly sailor bold. My father is a merchant, the truth I now will tell and in great London City in opulence doth dwell. His fortune doth exceed 300,000 gold and he frowns upon his daughter, who loves a sailor bold. A fig for his riches, his merchandise and gold. True love has grafted my heart, give me my sailor bold. My heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain all glittering gold. There is nothing can console me but my jolly sailor bold. Should he return in pov'rty from o'er the ocean far to my tender bosom, I'll press my jolly tar. My sailor is as smiling as the pleasant month of May. And often we have wandered through Ratcliffe Highway. Many a pretty blooming young girl we did behold. Reclining on the bosom of her jolly sailor bold. My heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain all glittering gold. There is nothing can console me but my jolly sailor bold”

Soft snores could be heard what signalized her that the little man she was singing to was now fast asleep. With a last kiss put on his head and a softly whispered “Goodnight my little treasure.”, she left his room and closed the door as soundless as possible. Her atelier she was working on before was still not cleaned up so she made her way back to her beloved work place and started to clean everything up. The song she sang her son before was not finished yet so she began singing where she stopped.

“My name it is Serena a merchant's daughter fair. And I have left my parents and three thousand pounds a year. Come all you pretty fair maids. Who ever you may be. Who love a jolly sailor that plows the raging sea. While up aloft in storm from me his absence mourn. And firmly pray arrive the day he's never more to roam. My heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain all glittering gold. There is nothing can console me but my jolly sailor bold”, usually she would now repeat the song since it ended but the sight that life offered her did not only made her stop in her tracks but also made her drop anything she had in her hands. “I´m not sure if the original owner of this song would be really fond of hearing you change the name Maria with your own. I mean, it does sound beautiful but still, I´m just saying.”, Serena did not know what to do. She was overwhelmed with the situation and could not believe what she was seeing. A few minutes ago she was talking about him and lost hope of ever being able to see him again. She told her mind a few days ago that it shall stop hurting her more and forget him. But now she felt like she did not only betray herself but also him, who was now standing in front of her in all his glory. “Ace?”, tears she kept in all these day couldn´t be hold back anymore and made their way out. One after another wetted her cheeks and made her vision get blurry. She couldn´t believe what she was seeing. She told herself that he is not real but rather a trick played by her heart, mind and soul. She told herself to stop crying since he was not here with her. She told herself that her husband was somewhere in the New World and that she should stop crying, when the person who was the cause of all of her pain came closer and gave her a reassuring hug. As if he knew that she couldn´t believe her eyes and wanted her to believe. He wanted her to believe in him and his person that was truly standing in front of her. “Ace?”, she looked up in his eyes with tears still falling down his cheeks. “Love, I´m home.”, not knowing what to do himself the emperor placed his lips on those of his wives with the hope to get rid of the pain in his chest that accompanied him all those lonely night.

[rosyk]

Clichè

pairing: lee minho x reader

genre: heavy or light angst, fluff, marriage, misunderstandings

warnings: light curses, situations that involves deep anger or sadness, mentions of disease, death(?)

word count: 5.2k

a/n: Hi it’s your gal, rosyk. I’m back with writing fanfictions and it’s like 4 in the morning. I haven’t slept yet so there are many grammatically incorrect sentences or spelling errors. Hope you enjoy this one though! (Inspired by Dear John- Taylor Swift)

I sat by the car, the same old one he and I used to drive in. This was a simple car but we swore to use this for our wedding since memories are still stuck. It made me wonder what could’ve happened if everything went right? What would’ve happened to us if there were no obstacles in life? It then made me realize that indeed there were no obstacles, none other than you.

I drove the car to meet your sister who desperately needed to talk to me. She said there were secrets I needed to know but I get the gist of what she’s trying to do. Set me up? Trap me? Convince me? So I could be tempted to get back into your cage? I don’t want that to happen, never again. I’m sick and tired of this one-sided relationship I never noticed because I was blinded. Aced all my tests, I am smart. But when it comes to you, I look like a whole fool trying to fall in love with a guy who gave up. This is why I wanted to show her that I’ve moved on, at least based on my view. Wearing both of my earphones and played our song, I sighed deeply and continued to drive along Cornelia street. My days only revolved around you but what exactly went wrong in between us? Scratch that, what happened to you?

Back then, all I could do was love you. Not less but everything more. I could never stand loving you lesser each day. It’s not on obsessing but to the point that I recognize your feelings though still, I try to force myself. You know how I do grow tired from time to time, but that’s all because I care for you. There’s not much positivity from that though. The downfall happens when I love you much more than you feel for me. It was never equal no matter how I try to persuade myself, desperately needing your affection.

My mother used to tell me how crazy I was to fall for a guy like you. How was I supposed to tell her you were fine since then? Yesterday, you rained me with care. On Friday, you sucked it all up and acted as if nothing happened. All I could do was pray that the guy I used to know, is the one I’ll meet today and greet me in front of the door with wide gentle hugs.

You give me hope, then take it back all at once. I remembered a sunny sky in blue that suddenly turned grey after you decided to shrug me off several times. I was in your tiny piece of chess game. Though you change the rules every day, hoping I would give up until the end. What’s funny is that typically families opposing would be the ones who would give tests to both of the couples to prove their love. And yet, you were the one who was trying to give me a hard time and when I was lost in the thought of giving you up, you decided to save me at the end of the day.

You were a puzzle I couldn’t solve. Little did I know, there was a missing piece I could never find until then. Just like a whole puzzle, you were complicated but due to my drive and need, I had to hang on to my aim. I had to do it because I was convinced by all your “sorry“. Or maybe it’s just me trying to change my mindset to find a reason to stay because I knew there was no difference between all your other sorrys before.

“Which Minho would I be able to talk to on the phone?” It runs through my mind each Sunday of my life and gives me anxiety. But every time I hear the phone ring? I never hesitated to pick it up. No matter what kind of guy I am faced with, I wanted to know deeper why you were acting so confusing. But on that single day, I didn’t pick up the phone. I cried and had sleepless nights. My worst nightmare just came and here’s why:

“Don’t you think this is a good improvement? We’ll sit by the couch and place a big screen tv.” You placed your arm above my shoulder and I continued your lovely story.

“Then we’ll watch your performances?” I looked at you in the eye, grinning as you smirked at my idea. You hummed in question and tilted your head. “Lee Minho, the most famous kpop idol who reached internationally and was supported by his lovely fans” I placed both of my hands above, imaging a billboard banner with your name and face on it. Thousands of people watching and idolizing you.

“Really?” You shifted your position into a more comfortable one as I leaned on your chest. Nodding at my suggestion, you pressed your lips together and listened to me, getting all happy after trying to predict and set goals in our lives.

“Of course! Why not?” I turned my head to face you and gave you a slight hit. “I could feel the energy of the universe as if it's trying to tell me that was our fate” You playfully laughed at the girl in front of you who is telling such an exaggerating fairytale. “Besides, ” I went back to my position and grabbed your arms around my waist. “Your number one fan is just a surgeon anyway” You responded with an oh? as you began to get amused with my statements. “A surgeon who never failed to help people even in a situation full of pressure. The best surgeon in the district” I smiled in a bragging manner, lifting my hand to flip my hair.

“I like that” you nodded in approval. “But don’t you think it’s much better with the title, the best surgeon found around the world?” My eyes lit up with stars because indeed that was a better match. I grinned and raised my eyebrow.

“That’s better” an idea popped up and so I turned back once again. You looked at me in confusion and waited until I would continue what I wanted to say. “But how about the dating ban? Does that mean we have to keep it low?” You looked at me concerningly and so I did. Panic arose in my mind. “Or maybe we-“

You placed your hand up my lip and shushed me. Everything is going to be fine, you tried to assure me. Lifting up your hand and caressed my face, you continued and stared at my pouty lips. “Of course not. It’s you,” with a silent pause, you pointed directly at me with a lovingly stare “and I” you did the same back at yourself and held my hand, enclosing it together. “against the whole world”. You chuckled whilst you tipped your forehead on mines.

“Too cliché” I laughed at you but no doubt that made my heart flutter. Oh, how I wish he knew how much I love him.

[MONTHS LATER]

“Do you have everything packed?” I sighed deeply the minute I rummaged through the closet. I stopped as soon as I saw the yellow hoodie hung inside. “You forgot the hoodie!” I chuckled though scared, deeply hoping this isn’t what I think it is.

“That’s your favorite. Keep it” he smiled but those words pierced straight through me. I felt what he meant. My last token for our relationship, isn’t it? What happened to all those you and I against the world? Were all those just things to make me feel relieved?

“Oh” I responded dryly and gulped, pressing my lips together to stop these drops from falling. “Mhm, ’kay” I closed the closet and faced the guy who’ll soon be leaving. “Go” You looked at me with pity and everything I didn’t want to see in your eyes. I’m okay, at least that’s what I like to believe. As I was busy trying to act tough because I don’t want you to see me being vulnerable once again, you gave me the warmth I needed. A necessity in my dark days.

“I’m sorry. I won’t leave you alone, maybe quite busy but I’d never wanted to split up with you” I finally cried after everything. It was a big wash down of emotions and you felt sorry again. It was a painful sight for you, I know.

“But those hoodies..” sniffs went in between those sobs. As usual, you tried to assure me by caressing my face. It was an act to show that we’ll still stay the same.

“I want you to return this to me after I become an idol. I want you to promise you’ll hold on to us. Wait for me okay?” That was the first and last time I’ve ever seen you cry. It hurts deep bad, but I didn’t want to be an obstacle to your goal as well. I’ll wait no matter how many years it may take.

[DECEMBER OF 2018]

Hey, I’m not sure if you still received my letters. It’s been long, don’t you think? I feel like you don’t remember me anymore but I was your first love haha. Would you still be able to know me after I come back there? I’ve heard you all over the news. Minho, the guy who brought K-pop internationally and broke the Billboard charts. I told you that you’d make it. Me? I’m now a surgeon. Not internationally, but definitely in the district. I’ll get there soon, right? One more question, can I return the hoodie? I did wait for you, hoping you did as well.

I sighed for only God knows how many times for this day. The more I’ve been sending letters, the less I’ve been receiving.

I held on to the letter and got up from my bed after hearing a call once again. The last time I was able to sleep was decades ago and so I had to go back to work. Luckily, it wasn’t a heavy operation but I just had to check-in by the hospital to get the patient’s results.

“Good afternoon, Mrs!.” My patient joked and I could clearly see my best friend smirking.

“Maddie! Stay safe when you get home alright?” I smiled greeting the patient who joked before getting ready to leave

“Hey, hey it’s not too safe to go outside yet. Call someone to assist you. Take care!” Another response of mine was said after a boy who was operated on and took rest for three weeks passed by me.

Beaming from ear to ear, I squealed and hugged my best friend tight. “ALICEEE!” It’s been years since I’ve seen her. She accompanied Min on his way to Korea. And before any of the readers misunderstand, they are siblings. Quite awkward at first if I must say but it’s great to know lots of information about him.

“Hush, we’re in your workplace. You told me that, right? Alice, don’t scream or get hyper whenever you’d come back here.” She mimicked the way I talked in an insulting manner, not that I’m offended by it. We just like to mimic one’s tone as a sign of sarcasm. “Well, look who’s talking?” She furrowed both of her eyebrows as I laughed and took my hands off her.

“So how was Korea, Lisa? Did you find someone? Maybe that guy who you friend-zoned at?” I started chuckling after seeing her blank face. It was honestly funnier to see her reaction. Her stop-it-kind-of-face made my laugh gradually get lower but never failed to make a remark soon after. I thought of someone and so I tried to casually ask her about it. “How are you and Min? Was Korea that good? Just wanted to ask because I’m scared to get into their hospital” I shrugged it off but saw her eyebrow raise. Of course, she always knows what’s up.

“So is this why you’re called Mrs.? Mrs. Lee?” Now it was her turn to laugh. I playfully pouted and narrowed my eyes. “Excuse me?” I acted all offended, placing my hand to my chest as if I took it to heart “It’s miss for you, Mrs. friend-zoned” Rolling my eyes and entered my room, her never-ending saga of teasing me continued.

An hour came by after packing all my things left in the hospital room and we talked about our lives. She still never told me a single thing about Min because of her chattiness. We got in the car and went to the airport. My flight has been called and so I had to leave.

“Wish we could’ve spent more time. I’ll come back soon anyways after visiting the hospital” she hugged me so tight causing me to be so confused.

“Min.. I tried to talk to him” I looked at her in the eye asking for some problems that happened years before. Though no words that came out of her were expected.

“But he didn’t want to hear anything about you”

Hours came by like a flash but my thoughts filling out my mind went by for years. I arrived at my destination but is this truly where I am destined to be in? I knew there was something much more than her words because her voice was shaky.

I didn’t leave a single minute to go by my hospital though. Work always comes by my mind. But usually, I would hang by the café in your building hoping to see you pass by. There were no people because I was busy studying late at night after the closing time. It was scary, but I was too busy to notice.

“I miss you! I’ll come by soon, okay? You better wait for me, sweetie. Love you, take care!” I smiled after hearing my patient’s voice. She was a lovely kid and it seems like I wasn’t the only one missing her as well. It had just been a day yet Yeina has been panicking through the whole call.

“Got a boyfriend now?” The one who talked suddenly came up near my seat and giggled. It was cute but I was busy closing all my documents. Besides, it was not that important. I responded unknowingly but was cut after hearing the voice.

“No, it was my patient. She’s a cute kid” I looked up and God-, was that the biggest thing I regretted but enjoyed at the same time. The guy I waited for years was the same guy who didn’t want to hear anything that involves me. The guy who didn’t want to talk, approached me first with the same smile as if nothing happened. I don’t know what to feel nor what to say. It took whole 5 minutes of me trying to smile awkwardly.

“So, no hugs, internationally known surgeon who cured people around the world for the guy who is loved by his lovely fans?” You looked at me shocked but smiled as soon as I got back to my senses. Everything still remained vivid in your head when I thought it wouldn’t be.

I went up to you and cried in your embrace. The same warmth, it never changed even after all those years. “I thought you had forgotten” I tried to explain though it came out as short phrases because of my sobs. You held my head to nuzzle near your neck and caressed my hair, patting in between.

“Thank you for waiting even in tough times. You did good, doctor”

[WEEKS LATER]

Yes, it just had been weeks. Everything was good but turned downhill soon after. I don’t know what’s hitting on you because you just turned.. off.

“ARE YOU CRAZY?” I yelled after you constantly trying to ignore me. “Wow, so now you’re deaf?” I exclaimed as I held on to your arm and making you turn around and face me.

“You wouldn’t understand anyway!” Loud shoutings were just everything that was heard in the room. I am patient but was frustrated that moment you took on that dumb decision.

“So now I was wrong here? YOU QUITTED THAT FKING JOB OF YOURS BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T FEEL LIKE IT? YOU FELT BORED? The world doesn’t adjust for you! It’s not like you are the reason why the Earth revolves! It’s not easy to find a new goal and get it as soon as possible!” I expressed all my thoughts because things weren’t matching up. Who the hell leaves something just because he or she was bored? I felt like there was something more to it but why do you seem so nonchalant about it? It was that easy of a decision to make?

“SHIT!” You grabbed the vase and smashed it on the floor. That shocked me. I was clearly shaking yet I tried to stand by my point.

“Why did you come back here anyway?” I felt the world stopped. No, because he was actually true. Why did I come back here? Expecting that the love of my life would be the same even when it had been years he didn’t bother to call? Even after all these years, the guy I waited for would remain the same? After all the dating issues, he would stay irrelevant and think of me every day? I was just a surgeon not even known worldwide. Who am I to him?

“You’re right. I’m nothing to you anyway.” I packed up quickly placing all of my clothes unorganized. It was easy to get into someone but how is leaving not the same?

You tried calling me out but I left due to my blind optimism over the week. I came back to Korea but you soon got me with all those sorry. That was just a single moment that left a scar on me deeply. But now that I think of it, I was used to it because you were an on and off switch

The first day of a week you asked me out on a date then suddenly you claimed to have forgotten about it. You’d tell me how much you loved me, yet add me to the list of traitors who wouldn’t understand a single thing. It was basically just a love or leave me game of yours. It went on for months that I was tired of it. Sick of everything else but you suddenly turned nice again. I waited for the moment you would hate me as usual but it never came by. Was it because you finally realized how much you had hurt me or were you trying to be nice because you were planning a sudden break-up. Maybe a Dear Jane letter? I was scared because I feel like it was more of the latter.

But after all the overthinking, another unexpected thing came by. You spoke the words:

“I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through after everything I’ve done. It hurts so bad and I don’t want to see you taking all that pain anymore. I never had forgotten about you not even a single bit of my life. I made decisions that could lessen your pride and was also close-minded with all your opinions. But my love for you stays true which is why I wanted to stop seeing you cry. The only tears I’ll ever allow you to shed is the one I needed all my life. The words I wanted to wait for you on. This might be the most clichè thing you’ll ever see, but will you marry me?”

I could never get over that preparation of yours. Because who’d knew you were actually into those surprises? I looked at the ring and smiled at it. How precious this is to me. But time surely passes by fast.

Looking at myself in a white gown, we passed by on lots of obstacles but it felt like yesterday even though it took even years to convince my mother and bless the marriage. She allowed but was forced to.

I still remembered how my mom used to hit me several times every day just to understand if there was something wrong with my head, but apologized soon after because she believed my father was watching from heaven. Mom had many beliefs and one of them was to ask my father whether to accept me. She used to tell me with not a missing day left aside, “run as fast as you can”. Up until now, I find it too hilarious.

“Aren’t you rushing too much? You’re still nineteen” the one who placed my natural makeup on, whispered in my ear.

That was what I was scared of. I was anxious about getting hurt at 19 what more if I was getting married then it went downhill when I was 19? But you were a risk I was willing to take every day, so why not? I know you’ll stay true to your words, I just know so.

“No” I responded short and smiled at myself for acting so brave with my thoughts. I went out of the hall and looked up to my mother who was dressed up so nicely. Sure, the girl who took time dressing me up, definitely did not say she wouldn’t attend if I marry Minho. I sarcastically remarked at her logic.

“So where’s that guy? It’s been 15 minutes since the guests have arrived!” She placed her hand on her hip and tapped her feet on the floor impatiently.

“Ma, he will arrive” I assured my mother and hugged her after I saw a glimpse of tears on her face. Of course, she raised me, and to finally see me with a guy who will take care of me then, she would be brought into tears. She told me once, before the wedding starts, all her thoughts including how she was sad about me leaving but happy about me finding and receiving the love I am willing to fight for. She doesn’t show it as much but she knows how much of a good guy Min is.

“You’ll be Mrs. Lee minutes later!” I found Lisa near the entrance and hugged her. “I told you we would have the same last name years ago!” she continued

Minutes came by and indeed you look handsome in a tux. Everything was worth the wait. You were worth waiting for. We’ve said our vows that express our love would remain until forever runs out, and it was truly you and I together against the world.

[PRESENT]

At least that is what was supposed to happen.

Your dumb-ass mind left me hanging and crying on the white dress. Everything was prepared and you suddenly decided not to show up? You were claiming you had forgotten? What kind of excuse is that? You were no doubt an expert on saying sorry. Just because, you were an exception when it comes to me not being forgiving. Just because, you’d know how to get me back. With a single smile, sorry, that’s it! My mind would start to revolve once around you, playing hide and seek or chase. I was always the one chasing and I’m tired of having to run a hundred miles just to get that love I wanted, which you never wanted to give anyway. It’s all you and your sick need of giving love and taking it away.

Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with? The girl in a white dress who was supposedly having fun on her grand day, went away and started crying? I should’ve followed what my mom said. You should’ve known and I should’ve seen. I was played, you were the one who controlled the game.

“Where will you take me, Alice?” Truly, it’s hard to have feelings for a guy who is the brother of your best friend. If things go wrong, then clearly your friendship is over.

“To him” you responded shortly, tightening your grip on my wrist.

“Stop. I don’t want to go.” I forced her hand off me and whined in a frustrated manner because clearly, you screwed up Alice.

“Could you please stop?! I’m sick of this! He doesn’t have to hide it forever!” You looked away and continued dragging me as soon as I stopped. Hiding what now?

I don’t know what to say when I meet you. Scratch that, I didn’t even want to meet you anymore. Because what if this habit of mine comes up and actually accepts you? I’m tired of it but there’s just something that makes me want to hold onto the love or something that isn’t in you anymore.

You took me in a place so questionable as you stopped and cried. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and yet you say it was the right place. That can’t be, right? How did this happen? Shaky hands, dry throat, words don’t come out my lips. “I’m sorry” I didn’t know why that was the only thing that escaped from my tongue. I did not accept it yet because I belived that wasn’t reality.

Lisa took me to a hospital in which I saw you laying down, unconscious.

I could do nothing but curl down. I was hurt but I never did ask for this. “Alicia, since when?”

“The doctor told me he had cancer way before you went back to Korea. This is why he didn’t want me to talk about you because he gets hurt and couldn’t even imagine what you would do in lengths just to cure him. He used to joke about how you loved him the same way he did. Side effects? Memory loss, sudden mood swings. You know, he was the same guy you knew in the past. Except, he had gotten braver of leaving you behind just so you wouldn’t get into more pain as to seeing his condition. He was very open but he thought of decisions way better when it comes to you than of himself. He loved you every single day of his life and I do know how he misses your touch, crying himself to sleep. He faced a much harder life, missy. As to the wedding, he said he had forgotten about it but it was more due to the reason of having a husband that wasn’t able to take care of until the end of the world, when he promised you to. It was because of a guy not being able to see you getting known worldwide nor exposing you in all medias, when he wanted you to. It was because of a man who simply wanted you to be happy, because he needed that too.”

This is the point where my world started to crash. It wasn’t you who should’ve known. It was me. I should’ve been there at times you need someone to rely on. I based on my selfishness and need for love, not knowing that what I need was the thing that kept me from hurting. I’m sorry for misunderstanding. I’m sorry for making things harder for you. I’m sorry for not opening up all my thoughts about you. I’m sorry because I left you fighting against the world, and I stood by just watching. I felt as if I was the person who was miserable and yet it was you who was trying to act tough.

Lisa continued to tell all those hidden words of yours “I even remembered the time he continued blaming himself for hurting you but concluded that it was everything that he could do. His situation isn’t something that can be fixed and he knows about that even if he wasn’t told about the months he have left. He told me that once you come back and see how bad of a person he is for leaving you all alone and asking you to wait, I am allowed to tell you everything once you’ve moved on.” The girl I’m talking with continued crying filling out the silence I make.

It was a shock and seeing you were the only thing that made me cry deeply. I couldn’t breathe as my chest weighed heavily. I grasped my shirt as I was desperately needing to calm down. But none of this sight made me calm down. I understood the situation I did, but it was too far, in reality, to keep it in check. You were unconscious and Lisa wanted to let me see you before your last breath. Standing up, I cried up to you.

“Idiot” I sniffed, Trying to act strong and let it all out but that’s everything I could only say. “You said our story was cliché. What happened to the true love’s kiss that wakes one up?” I kneeled down and held your hand with the ring that was encircling your fingers. I felt the cold air as tears continued flowing. I kissed your hand and gulped, crying helplessly. Is there really nothing I could do?

“The last time he saw you were way back you were able to smile again. He said it was a blissful sight to see and he would be happy even if that were to be the last time.” Lisa explained and cried her heart out as well after seeing such a painful sight.

“You do know you can see me every day right? Wouldn’t that be nice?” I tried to persuade an unconscious body who can’t hear my words. “Hey, wake up” I clasped our hands together and entwined both. “I’m here, so wake up. I’ll be with you until the end okay?” The volume of my talks gradually decreases but I still believe you can open your eyes up. I know so. I know that at this very time you could still see me and hug me, letting me feel the same warmth I needed once again. “I’ll be with you and it’s still going to be you and I against the world. Cliché right? I know you’ll never miss a chance to tease me when I take that cheesy statement. So please do. Please wake up and talk to me once again. I am here for you.. always and forevermore”

I closed my eyes and heard the beeping of the machine. I looked at you and the monitor that showed a single, straight line. I sighed deeply and my heartbeat is everything I could hear. Repeating your name, demanding you to wake up but all I could do at the end of the day is being so helpless. Even my optimism couldn’t change my mindset yet I was hopelessly begging to see your loving eyes as Lisa and the other staff held me out of the ward for the doctors to take care and clean up everything.

I wished to see those eyes I never noticed years ago. I didn’t know whether it was my selfish act or optimism that kept me not noticing all those details but if only I could see those once again, I could’ve lessened your pain before you disappeared. I was wrong but even up to this end, I hope you know that I love you and forever will do, Min.

I see it all now that you’re gone, don’t you think I was too young to be messed with? The girl in the dress cried the whole way home

[arcwhore]

Excuses

(creds to @toesure )

{rafe cameron} x {reader}

description: reader and rafe get into a fight after he gets coke from barry

content: angst, (not my best writing)

word count: 1322

You sat in Rafe’s car, the AC blowing your hair back into the seat. Your skin was littered in goosebumps, arms wrapped around yourself to try and create some kind of heat. You could see the outline of your boyfriend from the light of Barry’s porch, but you couldn’t hear what they were saying. You saw Rafe hand him money and he handed back what you assumed was coke. You huffed.

Ever since he had gotten into hard drugs, your relationship had gone downhill. He used to treat you with respect, but now he treated you like a prize; like he had won you and then stuffed you in the back of the closet. You were so far forgotten to him that you had just become a useless accessory to his shitty ego. 

The car chimed in annoyance when the door opened, Rafe grunting as he got back into the car. He pushed his hair back, turned down the AC and started backing out of the driveway. You kept quiet, knowing as soon as you opened your mouth, shit would go down. He turned on the radio, punching the buttons until he got a station he was satisfied with. The music echoed through your head. You could feel every beat, every vibration, flowing throughout your body. After all the nights you and Rafe had spent in his bedroom, blasting the music loud enough to burst your eardrums, dancing around the room and screaming your hearts out; you wondered why he turned to drugs. Why didn’t he talk to you? Why wouldn’t he get help some other way? He knew you hated drugs, you had talked about that on your first date. He had made a promise to you never to go down that path, but mistakes were made. He just kept making them. 

About halfway home, you turned down the radio, turning your head to him. 

“So, what’d you get?” You asked him sincerely.

“None of your damn business,” he mumbled, reaching for the volume again. You playfully slapped his hand away, but as soon as your fingers his his hand, the car jolted. He stopped in the middle of the road, throwing the car into park. He grabbed your wrists forcefully.

“Do not ever slap me. Ever. Do you understand me?” He glared at you with vexation. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes, but you pushed them back. 

“Fuck you,” you said weakly. Your voice was quiet, your lip quivering. Rafe looked over at you with narrow eyes, his strenuous grip on your wrists not faltering.

“What did you just say to me, bitch?” His breath was hot blowing into your face, the look on his face causing your heart to beat rapidly. You were so tired of his bullshit, so tired of being treated like you were nothing to him. You jerked your wrists from his grip and unbuckled your seat belt. You were fuming; your fists clenching, jaw grinding. You opened the car door and got out, walking on the eerie street. Some part of you wanted him to just stay in the car, leave you to your thoughts, but the other parts of you were screaming for his attention. You didn’t want to have to walk home alone in the dead of night, but you would if that’s what it took to get to him to realize that he lost you for good.

“Y/N! Come on, get in the car!” Rafe’s voice echoed in the wind. The car door slammed, footsteps approaching behind you. You spun around, looking him dead in the eyes. The headlights of his Lexus illuminated your features, the sweat shining on your face. “Get in the car, Y/N.”

“What so you can yell at me some more? Maybe hit me? Tell me how much of a piece of shit I am?”

“Goddammit, just-” his hands pulled at his hair sporadically. “Get in the car, okay? I’ll take you home, and we can talk this out in the morning.”

You could hear his heavy breathing from 7 feet away, stepping back when he hesitantly stepped towards you. You rubbed your sore wrists, the throbbing pain making the situation even worse. He reached out his hand for you. 

“No, Rafe.” you shook your head, crossing your arms in fear. You kept your head held high in hopes that if you stood your ground, he would listen. He rubbed his face, mumbling to himself. He stood there for a moment, silent and staring. His eyes burned holes into your skull as his mind churned with decisions. Suddenly, he launced forward, both arms outstretched. You barely had time to react before his arms wrapped around you and pulled you into his chest.

You squirmed and kicked, trying to get him to let go, but you knew you weren’t winning this fight with him. You went deadweight in his arms and he carried you to his car, buckling you in like a child. “Stay in the car until we get home. Don’t try anything or else I’m leaving you out here.”

You sat in your seat in protest, arms crossed and pouting. He drove away, turning up the radio to avoid the tension. 

------

Pulling up into your driveway, you got out, slamming the door behind you. You had forgotten to turn the lights off on your porch, and you knew your electrical bill would be high as hell this month. Rafe got out of the car once again, trying to understand what was going on with you.

“Y/N, just talk to me.” he pleaded. You scoffed.

“Why the fuck do you care all the sudden? You emotionally disappear for months, fuck me over god knows how many times, start doing coke, but all the sudden... you care how I feel?” You struck. He stood there staring at you, astounded. When he had opened up to you, he became so vulnerable. He showed you a part of him that no one else had ever seen. That was 7 months ago. He stopped sharing everything with you, shut you out of his life for 7 goddamn months. 

“I-I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I haven’t been the best boyfriend-”

“The best boyfriend? You haven’t been my fucking boyfriend for 7 months, Rafe. You stranded me. Not one morning have I woken up to a good morning text, or gone to sleep knowing that you’re even safe. You pushed me away. And for what? So you could go ruin your life like my mom did?”

“Baby, I’m sorry,” tears were starting to fall from his eyes. 

“Don’t call me baby,” you reached for your keys, going to stick them in your door when you felt a hand on your arm. You looked at it, then up at him. His mouth was opened, a silent plea falling out. 

“You’re not gonna give me a chance to explain?” He asked. He always knew the wrong thing to say, that was a guarantee. 

“A chance to explain? You’ve had months to explain, but you decided to go get crazy with Barry. You have put me down so much, that I am in a hole that I don’t think I can get out of. I really thought you had changed, but you haven’t you need help.”

“I have changed, I promise I’ll be better, okay? I’ll throw out the coke I just got, we’ll go to the beach tomorrow, I’ll take you out to dinner.”

“There’s nothing left between us, Rafe, there’s nothing to replenish. Get over yourself. I don’t know who you are anymore. Go home.”

With that, you opened the door, slamming it behind you, leaving the boy on the porch alone. You flipped off the porch light and watched him sulk as he walked back to his car. You slid down on the back of the door, sobbing as soon as you hit the ground. 

There was nothing left.

my masterlist

[whosaskingwrites]

A Thousand Times (Osamu x Reader)

A/n: I'm gonna be real this took so long because I just didn't know what to do? And then I started a various! Haikyu x reader. But I got this done finally so if you've been waiting for this one here it is. Also I just really like putting Osamu through the ringer huh? I'm so sorry bby. And Forget You beat out Unrequited for top one-shot recently!

WARNINGS: Angst. There's one mention of assault as well. Told from third person Osamu p.o.v

Date: Friday November 6th, 2020

Details: 5 pages 1,800 words

Theme: Star Tears- The victim cries tiny star-shaped tears. They are extremely painful and eventually cause the victim to go blind. They produce a dim glow and make a light 'Tinkling' sound when they hit the ground. The blindness can be cured if the person the victim loves makes a statement of love and means it.

Angst Masterlist

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

There were so many other ways this was supposed to go. He thought while he looked at her. She stood twirling around the white dress catching the light and sparkling. She was beautiful to him and of course someone else thought so or else they wouldn't be here right now.

But here they were. 'Maybe' he thought if he hadn't been a coward then it would have been him dancing with her in a suit while she wore a white gown. It would have been him telling her he loved her. It would have been him calling her Mrs. Miya as they danced. Maybe he should have told her the day of their first date. While he helped her pick an outfit she had been panicked.

"Calm down Y/n," She scoffed in response "Calm down? Samu you and I both know I've never been on a date before. And now I'm going on one with my childhood best friend!" He watched her his heart rate picking up as she held up different clothes in the mirror.

"It's not that big of a deal y'know? He's known you pretty much your whole life," He stated feeling uncomfortable helping her. Maybe making her more nervous would be a better idea so she'd cancel and they could spend the day together. "I guess you're right but still! It's different now!" She stated. "Okay just...Treat it normally and you'll be fine,"

She went into the closet coming out in a cute outfit that fit her b/t figure just right. "Alright Samu I'm off. Wish me luck!" He waved by as she ran out the door a bright smile on her face and excitement in her eyes. He stood heading back to his own house with slow steps.

Arriving home he closed the door to his room intent on hiding away from everyone. He laid down staring at the ceiling as the familiar burning sensation built up behind his eyes.

"Fuck," he mumbled when he heard it the soft twinkle of a star tear and the pale glow that lit up a small area around his bed. More of them fell sparking pain in his eyes and across his face. The pain followed the trail left behind by the glowing stars and despite his best efforts to shove his palm into his eyes and stop the tears it didn't work.

"You know I didn't even think they liked each other!" Osamu tuned into her moms voice and then he heard his own mother speak and he sighed. "I know! I always thought she'd end up with Osamu not...," He tuned out knowing what they were talking about. He didn't need to listen anymore.

"Samu what's wrong with ya?" Atsumu was looking at him with judgement. His arms were crossed in front of him clearly upset and honestly he didn't blame Atsumu. "Nothing's wrong with me," He answered him. "Bullshit," His own eyes narrowed at his brother "I just don't like it okay?" Atsumu rolled his eyes "I told you you wouldnt," Atsumu voiced.

"Osamu," He looked to the right his eyes meeting the blank pair of Kita's. "Kita," he answered back watching Kita gesture with his hand. He stood following Kita outside throwing one last glance over his shoulder at Y/n as she danced around with Aran her dress sparking like freshly fallen snow.

"What is it Kita?" He asked when the two of them were outside. "You have to let her go Osamu," Kita voiced quietly. "I cant let her go," He said back. "Osamu...You shouldn't love her...Not when it causes this," Kita gestured to his face where the star tears were already prevalent. 

"And you especially shouldn't love her now that she just got married," Kita sent him a pointed look. "I would go blind over and over if it meant I could love her," He answered the male staring forward. The wind softly brushed them causing their hair to flutter. "Osamu...We all know we didn't expect it to go this far...but he loves her so you have to let her go," They heard a series of dull thumps against the ground turning they saw Atsumu jogging over.

"Hey what are you two doing out here?" Atsumu stopped as he got closer a wide smile decorating his face. "Oh we were just catching some air y'know," Kita easily responded handing Osamu his handkerchief as he stepped infront of him, blocking him from Atsumu's view. He wiped his eyes quickly hiding the star tears before they could give him away.

"Shouldn't you be inside Tsumu?" He voiced at his brother while said male hummed. "Ah they don't need me in there right now. Sakusa’s getting drunk and Bokuto’s dancing with Y/n," He flinched at the last part of the sentence. Though Atsumu never seemed to notice "Isn't Bokuto drunk? Are you sure they should be dancing?" Atsumu shrugged at Kita's question. "I think they'll be fine," Atsumu adjusted the sleeves of his button up with a hum as if he was truly thinking it over.

"You know maybe I should go-," "There you are!" The group looked past Atsumu. Y/n was there a bright smile on her face her hands were wrapped into the skirt of her wedding dress. Her head was tilted to the side eyes crinkling in pure mirth. "Hey what are you doin' out here?" Atsumu asked turning to face her. "Ah Bokuto passed out Akaashi and Hinata are sitting him down now. But I think the party is wrapping up soon," she giggled it was a light sound and God did Osamu love it.

"Alright we'll be back over soon. Kita can you bring the lovely bride back to the party?" Atsumu asked with a small smile. "Alright ya flirt," Y/n said with a laugh taking Kita's arm as they walked back. Atsumu sighed as he sat down. "So...I know you're upset about this...," Atsumu started off quietly.

"Im not upset Tsumu...I had my chance and I blew it," He voiced. Atsumu sighed as he stood up heading back to the party. "Hey Tsumu," He said looking at his brothers back. Atsumu turned back facing him with a questioning look. "You told me that if at any point I wanted her you'd back off...I know that deals off the table now so just...don't hurt her okay?" 

Atsumu shook his head "Im not going to hurt her Samu...She's everything to me," He raised a hand up to push his hair back the light from a nearby lamppost reflected off his ring. "You didn't even like her at first," He scoffed.

"Look Samu we all know you like her!" Atsumu claimed with an eye roll. "No i don't. You're just being stupid," He denied quickly just like every other time. "Alright fine Samu. I'll give you a deal," he rolled his eyes at his brothers provocation. "What?" He asked "You either ask her out by the end of the week or I do," Atsumu challenged.

He scrunched his nose in distaste "You don't even like her why would you ask her out?" He asked. "To spur you on. If you tell me to back off at any point I will y'know?" Atsumu said. "So you're just gonna string along our childhood best friend for this?" He asked incredulously. "No she'll get over it," Atsumu shrugged. "No. I'm not letting you string her along," He stated.

"You're right I didn't," Atsumu hummed in agreement. "But I love her now and that's what matters," He stared off into the distance with a smile. "You remember the day I told her I loved her? It was an accident too," he laughed.

They were playing at nationals. Atsumu and him were third years now and Y/n was watching from the stands. She wore Atsumu's jersey and everytime they looked at her she made a face at them before trying to get away from the guy next to her. Atsumu glared at the guy mumbling something under his breath "Let's finish this game," he angrily said. Sending one last glare at the man.

They finished the game with a service ace from Atsumu and as soon as the whistle blew Y/n raced down to the court the strange guy following her. She showed up on court with a smile "Tsumu!" He turned and on instinct Atsumu smiled as well. "Y/n," she hugged Atsumu while his nose crinkled. "Babe I'm all sweaty!" She pulled away placing a kiss on his cheek. "Dont care! I'll be outside okay?" She said skipping off.

Only five minutes later they were leaving the building looking for Y/n. Only for the team to pause as they spotted her. She stood trying to get away and the stranger that was in the stands with her was harshly gripping her wrist. "Come on baby I just wanna show you a good time!" "No thank you!" Atsumu moved first separating the two while grabbing the collar of the man. 

Osamu grabbed Y/n holding her close to him while she held on just as tightly. "Hey! Why are you putting your hands on my girl!" Atsumu yelled. He wasn't paying attention too busy trying to sooth Y/n the handprint already forming on her wrist. "You're okay," he whispered into her hair line.

"Y/n," He was thrown back into reality then remembering that no he wasn't the one dating Y/n. "Tsumu," He let go of her watching her throw herself at Atsumu and he held on to her just as tightly. "Fuck you alright babe?" He said catching her arm and seeing the bruise. "Im okay now," she smiled at him. He didn't know what his brother was thinking in that moment but he just watched Atsumu kiss her and pull away. "Im glad you're okay...I love you Y/n," she gasped then and smiled again. "I love you too Tsumu,"

"I remember," he got up following his brother into the party he stood off to the side watching them as Kita and Suna came over. Atsumu reached Y/n and kissed her Atsumu's voice carrying as tears started to drip down his face. "Ready to go Mrs. Y/n Miya?" She laughed taking his arm. "Of course Mr. Atsumu Miya," and as they walked out the last image he could see was Atsumu and Y/n looking at each other matching smiles on their faces.

Her dress sparkled next to the black suit Atsumu was wearing. They were holding hands matching rings sparkling on their hands. His vision faded until it was just black but despise that he smiled.

"Take care of her okay Tsumu?"

___________________________________________

TAGLIST: @wonhomarshmallow

[mersuperwholocked-lowlife]

Family Is Overrated

Word Count: 1,687

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Reader, Jody Mills (brief), Bucky Sims, Lorraine Fox, Alicia & Max (brief)

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Daughter!Reader

Warnings: angst

A/N: uhm.... it’s here, sorry it’s bad lol haha i suck

A/N 2: this is part two of Ace!

A/N 3: Based off of Season 12, Episode 6, Celebrating The Life of Asa Fox

Masterlist   Ace

“Who’s gonna tell Jody?” you asked, standing around with Lorraine and Bucky.

“I don’t know,” Bucky sighed.

“Well, someone does. She was his closet friend,” you looked at him.

“I can’t do this,” Lorraine’s eyes watered up.

“I know, I’m so sorry for your loss, Lorraine. If you need any help….” you gave her a sorrowful look.

“Will you plan the funeral?” she asked you.

You knew you couldn’t say no. After everything Asa did for you, you needed to do this for him.

“Of course,” you nodded.

“Will you tell Jody?” Bucky turned to you.

You nodded softly.

“Thank you, dear. I know I can count on you,” her eyes watered once more.

“Of course. I’m sorry,” you wrapped your arms around her before leaving with Bucky.

“Why are you making that face, Ace?” he laughed softly.

“Asa’s gone. I knew I should've stayed with you two, it’s all my fault,” you gave him a look.

“Wasn’t your fault Ace. Mistakes were made. It was Jael’s fault,” he sighed.

“After this wake, I’m going to hunt him down. He’s dead,” 

“You sure that’s a good idea?” Bucky crosses his arms.

“Yeah, I can do it,” you shrugged.

“By yourself?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, so?” you gave him a look.

“Look, no offense, Ace, but you're just a kid,” he started.

“I’m not a kid. I’m 21 for crying out loud!” you raised your voice.

“That’s still young. You’re too invested into hunting,” 

“I’m fine. You don’t know what you’re saying. Bye,” you pushed past him, getting into your car and driving off.

---

Asa was a well-known hunter in the community, everyone knew about him as everyone knew about you.

It had been years since you last saw Sam, Dean, and Jason, or talked to them.

You’ve been going around hotel to hotel, hunt to hunt, finding any hunter that needed help. It took your mind off of everything. You didn’t care about people knowing that you were a girl, or how you looked. The only thing that you kept, was who your family was and your name. People told stories about Sam and Dean, while you just stayed quiet. 

You dialed Jody’s number, getting ready to tell her about Asa. You met her many times, she was a nice person, but you didn’t know too much. You know she had two adopted daughters, both a few years younger than you, and you knew she was sheriff of Sioux Falls.

“Hey, kid. What’s up?” she picked up the phone with a cheerful voice. You felt your feelings drop, hearing how happy she sounded, and you were gonna ruin it.

“H-Hey, Jody. What’s going on?” you sniffled, taking a deep breath.

“Just have some friends over. We’re watching a movie. How was the hunt with Asa and Bucky?” she asked.

You paused, taking a deep breath.

“T-The demon…..” you started.

“The demon killed Asa,” you said softly.

You could hear her shallow breathing as your heart broke.

“Uhm, t-the wake’s today, and we’re cremating his body tomorrow. Lorraine wanted to get him out as soon as she can,” you explained.

“O-Oh,” she stuttered.

“I’m so, so sorry for your loss, Jody. I wish I could’ve saved him,” you started.

“No, no, kid. It’s not your fault. I-I’ll, uh, I’ll be there as soon as I can,” she sniffled.

“Okay,” you said softly.

“Okay,” she hung up the call.

You groaned to yourself, wiping your face, getting ready to go to Lorraine’s house.

---

“Quiet down!” you yelled for what seemed like the 100th time.

Hunters were loud. Drunk hunters were louder.

You sighed, grabbing a beer.

“You Ace?” you heard a man from behind you ask.

You turned to see him talking to Bucky.

“Nope,” he shook his head.

“I don’t get it, I’ve asked every hunter here, none of them are Ace,” the man sighed.

“Well, you didn’t ask me. Nice to meet you,” you gave a sarcastic smile.

“You?” he asked in disbelief.

“Do you have a problem with that?” you raised an eyebrow.

“Just…. not what I was expecting,” he replied.

“Now, I have a question for you. Did you ask every hunter here, or did you ask every man here?” you pushed off the table, crossing your arms as he went silent.

“Didn't think a woman could be the fiercest hunter here? Do you have a problem with women?” you walked near him, watching him tense up.

You saw Bucky hold in a laugh from the corner of your eye.

“N-No, no ma’am,” he stuttered.

“That’s what I thought,” you scoffed.

“M-May I just say it’s an honor to meet you. I’ve heard the stories about you, all the great things you’ve done,” he started.

Stories?

You knew that hunters knew you, but you didn't know they told stories.

“Oh, uh, thanks…. I think?” you hesitated briefly.

“So, how did you start hunting?” he asked you.

“My mom was a hunter, and when she died I felt like I had to take on her legacy,” you explained.

“What about any other family? Like your dad? Any siblings?” he bombarded you with questions.

“Dead. My dad died when I was a kid, and my brother died some time ago,” you lied.

“Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss,” he gave you a sad look.

“Well, it's been a while, and I’m okay,” you shrugged.

You gave a small smile, finding your way to find Lorraine.

---

“No labels, that’s a red sign,” Dean muttered to himself, picking up a beer bottle.

“Nah, it’s good. Homemade,” Bucky smiled.

“I’m Bucky Sims,” Bucky introduced.

“Dean Winchester,” he replied.

“Whoa, the Dean Winchester? As in like dead four times Dean Winchester?” another hunter, named Randy interrupted.

“Yeah, it, uh didn’t stick,” he gave a small smile.

“I mean, Asa was famous, but you’re here, and Ace is here? This is gonna get interesting,” he exhaled.

“Ace is here? I’ve always wanted to meet him,” Dean started.

“Uh, she,” Bucky corrected.

“Oh, really? Good for her,” Dean said, opening his beer.

---

“Oh, hey Alicia, Max,” you greeted the twins, standing in front of them.

“Hey, Ace, this is Sam,” she introduced you to the man standing in front of them.

He turned to you, as you felt shivers go down your spine. 

Sam

“Oh my god,” you gasped.

“What the!?” he jumped up, looking at you in shock.

“I-It’s nice t-to meet you,” you stuttered, walking back.

Holy shit, oh my god

You panicked, walking to the back room.

“(Y/N),” you heard Dean call your name.

It’s been years since anyone called you by your name.

“Please, go away,” you said, walking into a room, with Sam and Dean entering with you.

“(Y/N), please, just talk to us,” Dean said.

“Shut up. Leave me alone, please,” you begged.

“You’re Ace? You’re freaking Ace?!” Dean raised his voice.

“So what if I am?!” you yelled at them.

“No, Ace was around before you left,” Sam remembered.

“I was Ace then, and I’m Ace now,” you said shakily.

“What the hell?!” Dean yelled.

“Just stop! Both of you!” you yelled.

“(Y/N), just listen,” Sam started.

“No! You have nothing to say to me, Sam. Do you think I-I forgot what the last thing you said to me was?!” you yelled.

“That wasn’t me, I swear. Look, when we were at the hospital, we were all waiting, i-in the waiting room. They weren’t letting us go in. We saw a shifter leaving your room, and then you were gone,” Sam’s eyes watered.

You went quiet.

“Where’s my brother?” you asked softly.

They both gave each other a look.

“Where is he?” you raised your voice.

“He’s gone,” Dean answered.

You felt your heart drop.

“W-What… what do you mean?” you stuttered. You knew, but you couldn’t. He couldn’t be gone.

“He’s dead, (Y/N)!” Dean yelled.

You jumped slightly, as your eyes watered.

Sam elbowed Dean, motioning to him to calm down.

“(Y/N),” Sam started.

“I’m sorry-” he continued.

“Please, j-just don’t. God, everything was okay before you came here,” you sighed.

“Okay? You call that okay? We looked for you, for so long! We thought you died, (Y/N)! You disappeared!” Dean yelled.

“Y-You think I was gonna stay there, with you?” you spat.

“We were gonna fix things,” Dean started.

“There was no fixing things! I told you that I-I hated you! And I still do! Do you think I-I wanted to fix things after everything that I said? I was in pain, Dean, and you made it worse. I bet you still don’t know where I was going that day,” you shook your head.

“Maybe I don’t, okay, but we’re family. We’re supposed to hate each other, and we’re supposed to fix things,” he said softly.

“What makes you think I want to? Look, out there, with all the hunters, I’m Ace. (Y/N) doesn’t exist. You two don’t know me. You can stay for Asa’s wake, but after this, I never, ever want to see you again,” you said shakily.

“That’s not your decision to make,” Dean said, as you started walking out of the room.

“It’s not yours either. You were the worst father. I’d be shocked if you even knew how old I am,” you scoffed, about to leave.

“You’re (Y/N) Winchester, born on April 20th, 1995. You’re 21 years old, your favorite color is blue, your favorite book is ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’. You wanted to go to Yale, and you’re my daughter. And I love you, so much. And I’m so sorry that I didn’t show it.”

You froze, your hand on the doorknob, as your tears fell to the floor.

“I spent years looking for you because you’re my kid, you’re my family, and you mean the world to me,” Dean walked next to you, putting his hand on yours, slowly taking it off the door.

“You’re smart, you’re fierce, you’re brave, you’re kind, you’re beautiful. And you’re too good for our family,” he turned you to face him.

“Family’s overrated anyways,” you sniffled, closing the door behind you.

(Posted @  on July 16, 2020)

Tagging - @vicmc624​ @beancave​ @yoongi-holland​ @samsgirl93​ @the-and-sign-anon​ @cryingskies​ @skyelikestowrite 

[whitelionspirit]

Pale Fire: Hard Days and Happy Birthdays 1/2

Paring: Ace x Reader

Series: Modern au of the life of Ace and the reader

Scenario: Even after a short few months there is still a lot you don’t know about your newly proclaimed best friend. Like why he doesn’t celebrate his birthday and why his friends and family are used to it.

wc: 1.7k

warning: angst, hurt/comfort, abusing alcohol, fluff

A/N: Hello! Sorry for the lack of updates but writer’s block hit sudden and hard. Anyway I wanted to get this out yesterday but here we are and now it’s in two parts because it became longer than I had intended. Hopefully by next week I’ll be all caught up and open the inbox again! I hope everyone had a good holiday and an even better start to the new year! I’m happy people have enjoyed my writing as well means a lot! Also this isn’t edit at the moment.

The end of the year was fast approaching with only days left it felt strange to you. The fact that your first semester of college was finally over. The past few months had been wild if you could pick a word to describe it. You never imagined you would have so many friends or just good memories in general. You had gotten lucky when being paired with Perona.

She was rather strange but you really would not have her any other way. It was because of her that you met Zoro which from there meant you would meet everyone else.  The collection of them were all vastly different and it made you feel included somehow into their strange little family. Though it was your friendship with Ace that you didn’t expect.

He was loud, angry, and shameless among other things you could rattle off. For some reason he had quickly taken a liking to you and it was all over after that. He had this way of coaxing you to come out of your shell and express yourself in ways you had never done before. He stunned everyone when he declared you were now his which didn’t settle well with any of the girls plus Sanji. Perhaps it was the five year age gap that threw most people off but it didn’t bother you that in the way most presumed it did.

The reason he had plagued your mind a lot recently was because his birthday was two days away. While you were excited about getting your new friend gifts and a supposed party to happen. You found out that their wouldn’t be a celebration, nothing at all. Ace hated his birthday which made you quite disappointed.

You didn’t push the subject when Sabo gave you the bad news. He had smiled sadly at you as he patted your head and moved on with his day. If no one wanted to speak of why then you wouldn’t push it. Ace would tell you if you asked you know he would but you didn’t want to pry it seemed to be a rather sore subject for everyone.

So you went about your week as you usually would which was more so spent at the three brothers apartment. You were currently splayed out on the couch with Luffy, Chopper, and Vivi laying on top of one another. It was a comfortable squeeze with Chopper’s head tucked into your lap and Vivi’s thigh bumping against your own as Luffy splayed out over her entire lap as she played with his hair. The only light coming from the flashing tv and that of the Christmas tree still up in the corner of the room.

It was a nice feeling to be surrounded by friends in a place you considered homey.  The sudden buzzing of your phone dragged you out of your thoughts. Pulling the device from your sweatpants pocket you saw the familiar name lighting up the Home Screen.

Firefly

As he had so happily put into your contacts months ago. You smiled as you slide your finger across the text opening the phone.

“Work is so boring today, tell me something interesting.”

You roll your eyes at his response Ace worked a rather fascinating job in your opinion at least. Though he says his previous job had been cooler before the accident. You texted him back before closing the phone.

“You should really pay attention to your job but if you really want something good. Luffy choked on a piece of food today and Vivi had to give him the hemilich maneuver. It was a real sight I have all on video.”  

You sent the text and closed your phone again only for it to vibrate. The message highlighted with a laughing emoji making you smile as you place the phone on your lap. Closing your eyes as you listen to the background noise of the tv.

You were awoken by the sensation of someone putting a blanket over you blinking your eyes open sleepily. The blurry image above you stopped before continuing and backing away as you drifted back off to sleep cuddling close down into the soft material. The sounds of chatting is what finally woke you up this time around.

They were soft almost trying not to wake up or anyone else who was still asleep. The room was dark when your eyes opened, the only light coming from that of the kitchen and even that was dimmed. You could barely make out the voices but there was definitely more than one. Pulling your arm upward you realize that it had actually been covered by a blanket. Your brows furrowed at how it got there, as your hand finally landed on your phone. The screen lit up showing the time it was half past 9 p.m. making you groan.

You had missed dinner, the sudden grumbling of your stomach reminding you of it’s emptiness. “Thanks, stomach.” You mumbled as you looked around you to still see everyone was still asleep. Chopper had moved over so he wasn’t on top of you, but Vivi and Luffy were now cuddling up one another in their sleep. The sight made you smile as Luffy’s soft snores were let out against Vivi’s neck. The voices broke through your train of thought again as a sharp “No” was admitted.

Curious but not wanting to be nosy you carefully untangled yourself from the pile. You walked towards the kitchen quietly as the voices became more distinct. The soft tremor of Ace’s voice was heard as he hissed at the slightly higher one of Sabo. Were they fighting? You thought which would be odd because they almost never fought unless it was over something serious. Over the few months you had known them you had only seen it twice. So whatever they were disagreeing on must be rather important or personal perhaps.

“You such an idiot you know that right?” Sabo said.

Peeking around the corner you could barely make out their appearances through the doorway which was blocked by the door being half way closed.

“It’s nothin’ I’m an dult I can do wha- I wannnt.” Ace said his words sounding muffled.

You frowned as Sabo sighed making you wonder if Ace was actually drunk and Sabo was trying to hide it.

A sound of shuffling could be heard as someone started walking. “Ace, come on you’ve had enough of tha-.” Sabo words were cut off as the shattering of glass echoed through the otherwise quiet house. The noise alone startled you momentarily before you decided to make your presence known.

You pushed the door open into the kitchen and the sight that greeted you was rather amusing. Sabo was hitting Ace upside the head while the freckled man pouted. He was gazing down at the red liquid splashed across the title flooring.

Sabo looked up at you and sighed. “(Name) could you hand me the mop and broom it’s in the closet across the hallway”. He pointed behind back the way you had come.

“Ugh, yeah sure are you guys alright?” You questioned.

Sabo just nodded not really akwoldging  you as he hauled Ace by the sleeve of his shirt and put him into a seat at the breakfast bar.

You walked to the closet and opened the door it was dark inside but you didn’t need to see where the objects were. Grabbing them you closed the door and headed back into the kitchen where Sabo was staring at Ace in frustration.

You looked over at him he was leaned over the counter his forehead laying against the wooden surface.

“Here.”

Sabo sighed and reached out for them as you placed them in his grasp.

“Is he alright?” You asked unsure.

“He will be but it really isn’t anything new he is like this every year.” He said as he began sweeping up the glass.

You bit your lip as you stood there wondering what you should do. You wanted to be helpful but it seemed like a private matter that Sabo could easily take care off.

“If you want you can put him in his bed,” Sabo spoke without looking at you as he dumped the glass into the trash bin.

You looked at him and blinked as if you weren’t expecting him to answer your worries. Walking forward you stood next to the man who was groaning softly into his chest. Gently placing your hand on his shoulder to not startle him you also opened you mouth to talk.

“Ace.”

He groaned again as if acknowledging you.

“Come on let’s get you to bed, alright?” You said as he got up without a fuss.

....

Once inside his room you guided him slowly to the bed as all his dead weight was laid on top of you. It was extremely uncomfortable but you bared it as you mostly threw him onto the twin size bed. He landed awkwardly on his face as the mattress squeaked under the pressure. You sighed at the sad sight as you picked up his feet and hauled him into the bed. You weren’t going to baby him or be gentle.

Ace mumbled from where his face was planted in the maroon sheets. You rolled your eyes and shoved at his shoulder hard enough to move him slightly to were yup could hear him speak.

“I’m fine (Name) you can just go.” He said with no heat behind it.

You huffed and crossed your arms in annoyance at his statement.

“I’m not going until you get into bed Ace.”

The man just sighed as heaved himself upward and began shimmering his way out of his work pants. His button down followed surely until he left in a a plain undershirt and his boxers. The sight alone made your cheeks redden as you quickly hid your face into your hands.

“Well, are you happy?” He asked as he pulled his comforter around his body.

“Y-yes! I’ll be going now, I'll see you tomorrow!” You said your voice went a pitch higher as you left the room shutting the door behind you.

As soon as you left the room you groaned as you leaned your head back against his door. Well that just happened even though nothing actually occurred just him taking off his clothes to sleep. Patting your flaming cheeks to come yourself you stepped away from the door. Only to hesitate as you looked at the door as concern took over.  As you ponder about what exactly could have him so uneasy and so unlike the man you knew.

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Tokyo Tower (Part 1) Fingel

The MC meets Fingel!!! :D Finally! Please enjoy! @rurifangirl by request

You were back in the Club Takamagahara after a long night. While you were working on your final episode in the MC Romance Contest, you declared Ruri Kazama the winner and gave him all your star hearts. This was in direct rebellion of Z’s orders, and it turned out that Z was running this whole place. He reacted by temporarily cutting all the power in the nightclub by some invisible hand.

Not only that, Erii had lost control of her powers and killed 76 people in the middle of Tokyo. Caesar, understandably spooked by all of this, ordered both you and Erii to get out of the island nation on a ship to China. But Lu Mingfei had other ideas.

He drove at breakneck speed to a small town where you enjoyed yourself in Erii’s company and watched the sun go down. You thought you were going to be getting on the boat the next morning, but Lu Mingfei put you on the train back to Tokyo with her. You had to get off early, killed a death servitor who attacked you and were found by Hydra. They would have killed you had Ruri Kazama not found you and brought you back to the nightclub.

Ruri Kazama said he ‘accepted your proposal’ but as you go down the elevator to change your clothes and bathe, you realize that it could mean a lot or not much. He could have accepted your proposal to join him in the fight against Herzog. Or he could have accepted your proposal not to throw his life away, or accepted your proposal to be his bride. Or all of them. Or just two? Who knows? Your mind was a mess. Maybe Chu Zihang was right. Maybe your mental state was deteriorating slowly and you hadn’t noticed.

You hurry to the room where you were staying with the men and much to your shock, your sleeping area in the closet was untouched. They hadn’t come back after going to the hotel to put you in Lu Mingfei’s custody. What was different was a little black dress, black stockings and some jewelry.

Attached with a note from Z.

Your heart rate sped up and you looked around for his ghostly figure, but you didn’t see him. You creeped forward, looking for any signs of booby traps, but you didn't see any. You pull the note from the dress.

“To my dearest, MC. I must apologize for my uncharacteristic outburst yesterday. Rejection can be hard. I do care about you. You need a man who can survive. However, the heart will do what it will do, right? So I can only give you my full support. Please accept this dress and sage advice. This is your first date with Ruri Kazama. Be yourself, be conservative, but be girly. Quiet and silence and what is hidden and far away will attract his attention. He will notice every single detail. Make your body a scavenger hunt. ;)”

A man who can survive? Was that a reference to Chance? Is he suggesting that Ruri Kazama will end up like him? If so… how cruel.

Still, you put on the clothing. It wasn’t flashy. The body seemed to be a simple straight dress that gently held your figure before flaring out at the skirt. The open back and sleeves were covered by a sheer fabric that made its embroidered black vining rose pattern seem painted onto your skin. A single bluish colored jewel hung on a gold chain that was as thin as a thread. It lay across your chest and sparkled right in the shadow of where your cleavage began. He said, conservative but girly, so you tie your black hair up into a bun but leave some strands of hair to hang on either side of your face.

What did he mean by scavenger hunt? Placing objects in hidden places? You huff. Z really was a perv, but you took his words to heart. Just above where your skirt ended at your knees, you tie a red ribbon that would stay completely hidden, only peeking out when you sat down.

Caesar was not going to be happy once he found out about what Lu Mingfei had done. But Caesar never so much as raised his voice at Lu Mingfei so you can’t imagine him doing anything. Chu Zihang clearly threatened you not to defy the order, but you were innocent in this matter. If Mingfei didn’t take you to the dock and put you on the boat, what were you supposed to do? Swim to China?

Still, you don’t stay in the room. Ruri would be in the bar area, so you decide to go there to hide until the Takamagahara closes for the night.

Once the last patron was escorted out, you take a spot at the bar where Ruri Kazama was working as a waiter, blending in seamlessly and keeping himself low profile. For now, you both ignore each other, but he does serve you a bit of sushi and some tea without a word.

You spot Lu Mingfei, Chu Zihang and Caesar together near the exit. Lu Mingfei seems alright and that relaxes your heart. He was wearing a backless pinstriped suit and looking at someone under the stairwell. In fact, all of them were looking down at this guy and talking. Eventually, they picked him up off the floor and helped him limp over to the bar. They sat down near you with only one seat separating you.

The man they were helping was tall, with messy blond hair and smelled like he hadn’t bathed for days.

Chu Zihang poured him a glass of warm water. Caesar turned to Ruri Kazama. “Get us a warm towel to wipe his face.”

Ruri just nodded and walked off to retrieve the item. You keep your eyes low. Evidently, Caesar didn’t recognize him, but surely he noticed you at this point. After all, the bar stretched nearly the length of the dance floor. For them to sit so close to you meant they knew you were there.

“Guys.." The man nearly had tears in his eyes.

"You were dragged into our affairs," said Lu Mingfei, "Everything’s so messed up right now. I”ll go through the details later."

 "My beautiful brother..." The man sighed with a weepy expression.

 "In fact, we are not much better off than you right now." Lu Mingfei also sighed.

He was an ace commissioner too? Then why was he not in the team? You’d never seen him before, but if he had survived on his own without anyone’s support, he must be incredibly resourceful.

 "What are you talking about? How many times have I told you? Are you going to get me something to eat or not?" He suddenly jumped up and howled like a wounded beast, making you startle. "Do you want to starve me to death to silence me?"

You crack a smile and a brief laugh escapes you before you can stop it.

Caesar immediately turns to you from the other side of the man. “Fingel, I want you to meet our new freshman. You haven’t had the opportunity right?”

Caesar looks you directly in the eyes and you look him right back. What was he on? Talking to him about a new freshman when he had tried to rush you off the boat as a Godzilla hours ago?

But he grins at you. “Don’t be shy. I swear he doesn’t bite, though he is very hungry right now.”

This Fingel was staring not at your face but at the peek of red ribbon on your thigh. You pull down your skirt roughly. That was NOT for him! “Nice to meet you, Fingel.”

“Ah! Such a beautiful face soothes my tortured heart!” He sighs. “Brother, you are so kind to have brought such a supple young beauty with you to Japan. A man cannot live on bread alone as they say. They also live on the red ribbons and a narrow waist!”

You straighten up and hiss. “Don’t compare me to bread, you-”

Fingel was undeterred. He dramatically rests the back of his hand against his forehead. “How can I? Everywhere I look, I see fine Japanese delicacies.”

Ruri Kazama returned with four bowls of Ramen and he refilled your tea. Fingel’s eyes practically glowed at the colorful bowls of delicious steaming noodles swimming in slow cooked pork broth. “Oh how thoughtful, so thoughtful!”

You don’t say anything to Ruri. You were watching in amazement as Fingel efficiently downed three of the four bowls himself, working the chopsticks like a conveyor belt and not even stopping to cool the noodles. Then he tilted the bowl back and gulped down the broth like he was one of the five Chinese brothers swallowing the sea.

The waiter Ruri blinked a moment and then returned back to the kitchen to make more. He was a fantastic host and so understated that the rest of the boys were completely unaware that he was even here, partially thanks to all the noise Fingel was making. 

Mingfei’s eyes were flickering between you and Caesar but neither of you were saying anything to each other yet, but Caesar kept smiling at you with gentle eyes. It was confusing, disorienting. After all this time together, it felt like you were back at the beginning, silent and not responding much to your teammates.

Ruri poked his head out of the kitchen and caught your eye briefly. You were uncomfortable and he knew it but he was busy.

Fingel shouted. “I would like four prawn tempura and a double portion of the miso soup!”

Ruri looked up in amazement and asked Caesar for his opinion with his eyes. Caesar, with a simple look, indicated to him to comply. The waiter Ruri bowed deeply as though to say, ‘Understood’ and went flying back into the kitchen.

Fingel fished a bottle of whiskey from the liquor cabinet, and ate ramen noodles with the strong wine, not even bothering to talk to his colleagues.

 “I feel like I’ve come back from the dead!” Fingel swallowed the noodle soup and sat up straight, rubbing his stomach with a baby-sweet smile.

 "Ready to go take a bath?" Caesar suggested.

 Fingel stank like he'd been buried in a garbage dump and fermented, and the three of them together couldn't overpower that perfume.

 "Give me a break, give me a break." Fingel got up slowly, holding onto the bar, "I ate a little too fast. I need to let it settle!”

"There is still a bowl of noodles left. You also ordered prawn tempura and miso soup." Chu Zihang reminded him

"That's the next meal. I'll take a break and go to the bathroom to make room for the tempura and miso soup."

Is this man serious? You’d read somewhere about greedy feasts where people ate for the sake of eating. When their stomach got full they just threw up to make room for more food.

 "It's good to see you guys, I've never felt so sincerely that you're my brothers." Fingel looked like a dog, sitting and wagging its tail, lolling its tongue and rolling its eyes at its masters. "All three of you look great, and your clothes are particularly handsome. But this… this lady. What can you tell me about her?"

You tense a bit as he leaned forward like he was going to lick your face.

"President, this dress is Oscar De la Renta. They don’t make it any more. Very exclusive and expensive. Where did you find it here? And this necklace, is that a Versace blue diamond? So understated but it’s at least 4,000 dollars right? And your face, you seem a bit Asian but you’re not. I hear a hint of eastern Europe in your voice. Are you Russian by chance? I do love Russian girls! Such delicate feminine beauty!”

He was praising you but all you wanted to do was slap his face.

"Can you speak human?" Lu Mingfei covered his face with one hand.

Caesar was grinning conspiratorially. Something had just clicked in his brain. He didn’t buy you those clothes.

“In fact…” Fingel suddenly turned away from you and looked at the other men. “You all have a delicate feminine beauty right now!” He beamed.

They all suddenly bristled at him.  “Don’t say anything about this back at the college!” The three of them simultaneously surrounded Fingel, as if three hungry tigers were ready to pounce on a lamb.

Fingel tightened his shoulders and smiled cautiously: "How could I? We doggies are taking whoever's money to do whoever's business. I ate your ramen noodles to keep your secret. but I'm sincere, Caesar. I've never thought you were so handsome. This style is too suitable for you! I think you released your ego to find the second spring of your life!"

You let out the breath you’d been holding. Just when the squawking parrot Mingfei had raised his status in your eyes, you had to collect this smelly stray dog.

"Business takes precedence," Chu said, "Now that we have a fifth person inside Japanese territory. Is anyone else here?"

  "The Japanese branch has turned traitor." Caesar explained to Fingel, "We are all disconnected and can't contact Norma."

 "What's worse is that the Japanese branch may have the secret of the White King's bones, and the bones may still be revived.  They are slowly hatching in Japan and are already capable of moving on their own!" Lu Mingfei added, "We endure this humiliation to investigate this matter."

  "You guys are dressed so well, have food, and have a woman to fall back on, what kind of humiliation is that?" Fingel grunted disdainfully.

You open your mouth but swallow your protest.

"I know everything you guys are saying. I already know the Japanese branch is up to no good!”

"How do you know that?" Chu Zihang was a little surprised. “You’re rank F and shouldn’t have access to classified information.”

 "Do you think I'm just here for an internship?" Fingel smiled triumphantly, "The Hydra have always believed themselves to be the true rulers of Japan, and were not willing to submit to the Academy to act as a mere branch. The only reason they didn't betray the Academy until now was because they feared one person."

 "The principal?" Caesar understood.

"Yes, in their eyes the academy is just a group of scholars, except for the principal. They think the principal is a thug, a thug who dresses up in Western-suits, drives sports cars. But he’s a martial arts master, and if the Japanese hybrids don't behave, the principal teaches them to behave with a blade. And if they resist, the principal uses a rocket launcher instead." Fingel said, "These hybrids worship violence, so they fear the principal, but do not hate him."

You’re suddenly reminded of Chisei’s words to you in the elevator. Chisei was suspicious that you were someone with close ties to the principal, not because of your being an Ace Commisioner, but because of your fighting style! He said you fought like the Principal, using a technique lost to time. In your pain and weary state, you didn’t think much of it. You were more curious than anything.

But in Chisei’s eyes, you were a dangerous individual! And potentially a person to be feared!

All three men nodded.

 "But the principal knew that his personal authority alone could not stabilize the Japanese branch for long. So he has been sending people to infiltrate the Japanese branch for years under the name of internship. I am one of the spies, and my job is to collect information about the Hydra family." Fingel stroked his long hair, "Do you think I just came to Japan on vacation?!"

"And what information have you gathered?" Caesar asked.

 "I've got all the gossip and secrets of the heads of families! So don't be afraid! If the Hydra families push too far, we will announce their private bedroom secrets to the media!" Fingel's dominance flowed as he struck a superman pose.

 "We don’t need that kind of information! What we need is the relationship between the Hydras and the Devil Clan, as well as information like the Well of Bones." Lu Mingfei was completely exasperated.

    "I just heard about the Devil Clan. What’s the Well of Bones? Is that information that important? More important than the private affairs of those big shots?" Fingel was taken aback.

    "Fingel, I just said the White King, right? White King! Compared to a dragon king on the level of the White King, who cares if they are having sex in private? Are you out of your mind, brother?" Lu Mingfei said.

    "White... White…. White King?" Fingel stammered.

    "Yes! The thing that will be awakened may be the most difficult enemy encountered in the history of the Secret Party!" Caesar said slowly, "The Japanese even call it ‘God’.’

 Fingel rubbed his chin. "That's tricky, I always thought that the principal sent me to Japan to cover the Hydra leaders in a racy scandal! So my time was spent on installing pinhole cameras and wiretaps. I got a hold of a lot of their racy photos. It’s useless now but why don't you take it out for everyone to enjoy? " Fingel fished out the flash drive from his pocket.

"You sure you’re not sent by Hydra to sabotage us?" Lu Mingfei asked.

 "No, I was obviously sent by the principal to sabotage you." Fingel seamlessly responded.

 "I’m leaving, I don’t want to get into it with you.” Lu Mingfei was crimson with frustration.

"It was you who fought with me first!”

Chu Zihang interrupted this pointless conversation, "At least, we got together with Fingel so it’s not all that bad..."

"You think it's kinda bad, right? You clearly have said it!" Fingel said loudly.

You’re trying not to laugh but you can’t help yourself. You rest your elbow on the bar and cover over your smile, looking over at the boys with rosy cheeks. This is what they get. It’s God’s punishment for casting you out!

"Sorry, I didn't mean that." Chu Zihang looked embarrassed, almost deferential, and backpedaled. "In a way, it's a good thing, Senior Fingel brought some very important intelligence ......"

 "You mean racy photos?" Fingel asked, trapping him again.

Chu Zihang can only concede and not acknowledge what Fingel said. "At least we know that the principal is aware of the situation in Japan and has planted manpower. This means we might have more help.”

 "If we can find a way to get the word out that we are here without the Hydra noticing, then we might be able to attract more companions." Caesar said, glancing at you.

You break his look and suddenly take great interest in your cooling tea.

 "That's a good plan. We should stay here and wait for help," Fingel acted just like he already joined the group, "It’s great that you found this hideout. Hydra will never find you here. Plus this hideout is very traditional.”

“Who’s tradition?!” Lu Mingfei was stunned.

“Japanese! Japanese tradition! During the Meiji-Revolutionary era, the revolutionaries hid in brothels to cover their tracks. You are not only hiding in brothels, but also practicing in one," Fingel lamented, "That is even more concealing!"

"Since we are so hidden, how did you find us?" Mingfei looked a little more puzzled.

 "I came to join you guys’ little boy band! You guys are so popular now, so don't leave me out. What do you guys think of me? Do you think the store manager will like me? I have to have a stage name to be in your circle, right? How about 'Heracles'?” He curled his arms. “The women will imagine me as a big, muscular man!" Fingel rubbed his hands together, his eyes shining, "They'll get excited by my name."

 "I think you’ve gotten excited first," said Lu Mingfei, annoyed. "I'm asking how you found us, so get to the point!"

"I was talking to the girls in the Internet cafe. Someone with an unknown ID sent me a picture of the three of you in uniform, looking particularly handsome. The sender said he was my colleague," Fingel said, "He gave me the address. I followed the address to find this place."

 "What was the name of that ID?" Chu Zihang's face suddenly changed to one of silent seriousness.

"Kazama Ruri… blah-blah. Some girly name!"

 "It's not gentlemanly to casually put down someone's stage name." The waiter Ruri placed the tray of four prawn tempura and two miso soups in front of Fingel.

He took a chilled glass from the refrigerator, took the whiskey bottle from Fingel, and elegantly and skillfully made a Japanese-style "water chaser" drink. He placed it in front of Fingel: "Strong drinks hurt your stomach, a little water will make you feel better."

Then he moved to you and refilled your tea again. When he was done pouring, he raised his head and looked at you. The arch of his neck immediately called to mind the delicate white curve in the neck of a Japanese crane. The two of your eyes met. Your eyes were like the cold of the north and his were the cold of the Japanese deep sea.

In Japan, cranes are revered as holy creatures. Standing regally at five feet tall, covered in ivory feathers with a red crown on top of their head, they are symbols of eternal love. When they meet, they stay together for life which can last decades according to biologists, but according to legend, Japanese cranes never die.

In a single look, both you and Ruri Kazama revealed yourselves to the Ace Commissioners as more than simple allies, but as two silent warriors facing each other in the blowing winter snow.