#it makes her feel helpless. and that's how her GAD affects her

[mars-ipan]

overcoming anxiety (through practicing the things that scare you) is so interesting. i used to be horrified of taking up space or alerting other people of my presence. now i'm compelled to tell strangers i like their outfits or hair or earrings- on bad days i tell maybe a quarter of them. do i still overthink it? absolutely. but i call attention to myself to tell someone else my opinion. and with the way they tend to smile and tell me "thank you!" i'm pretty sure it's taken to heart.

i used to be horrified of making phone calls as well. this is one i'm still getting over- i just Don't Like Doing It. i used to have a phone call routine that i still joke about- realize i need to call someone, cry, avoid it for a few days, suck it up, write a script, memorize the script, cry again, final script read, make the call with the script in front of me. and i would be Exhausted by the end of it. i don't cry when i need to call people anymore. i'm even needing scripts less and less- i've found out that people actually won't kill me if i talk a little too fast or stumble on my words. i doubt i'll ever like making phone calls- i especially hate robots (i'm afraid they'll mishear me and direct me wrong or a person will suddenly show up and i won't be prepared)- but i can make them now.

i get overwhelmed really easy. just a thing that happens to me. my brain is really really good at taking one task and breaking it up into thousands of little tasks and it feels like i'm drowning. if i try to make it fewer larger tasks then it starts to feel insurmountable. i was completely lost on how to deal with this (other than avoid until you get that panic attack and can do work in the post-catharsis calm until 6:00 AM) until one night when my dad (who i often meet late at night due to overlapping mental illness symptoms) asked me how to eat an elephant. i looked at him, confused, and he said "one bite at a time." that was way more effective than any other analogy i've seen has been. "light at the end of a tunnel"- i don't feel like i'm moving forward, i feel like i'm scaling a wall. "steps on a trail"- i can see my destination, but it feels impossible to move forward. but eating an elephant? that sums it up perfectly. this huge task which seems impossible at a glance. but it must be done. so you eat the elephant, a bite at a time. every time i'm overwhelmed i repeat that phrase to myself. it hasn't made any major changes yet, but it keeps me calm enough to start before i hit the panic attack, which i'll take.

i was such a perfectionist growing up- i actually thought it was a good thing (school always taught me to strive for perfection). but it made me scared to try new things- if i wasn't immediately good at them, then it clearly wasn't for me. i'm still not great at starting new hobbies, but i try a lot of new things within the hobbies i already have. i test out different ways of making art, i try new puzzle games i don't understand, etc. and the feeling of steady improvement reminds me that i don't need to be good right away. some of the most satisfying moments don't come from immediately being good- they come from achieving that skill over time. i'd like to try to learn to sew soon.

idk it's interesting. i rewire my own brain's fear response by doing the Horrifying Thing enough times for me to understand that no i will not die. and while i'm doing it it feels like nothing is changing. i get so stressed every time- it can actually take a lot out of me (turns out fight-or-flight burns a lot of energy). but i look back at then vs. now and i realize how far i've come, and i can't help but think "huh. neat"

[purplesurveys]

752

Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No, my girlfriend is super laidback and in fact she’s always the one encouraging me to go out and try new stuff with other people.

Have you ever written a love letter to someone as a joke? No but that doesn’t sound like a very nice thing to do either.

How many true heartbreaks have you had in your lifetime? In a romantic sense, once. I’ve had my heart crushed in other ways as well, like when a loved one dies.

Who last grabbed your ass? It’s definitely Gab but I don’t remember when that was. It’s been a while.

Have you ever cut yourself? Yeah man, I was big on that from 2016-2017. If I remember correctly I had a short lapse last year too, which is disappointing.

Do you get a 'Good Morning' text from someone every day? Not everyday but often enough. I like them; I do feel like I need greetings like those more so these days since I haven’t gotten to see anyone other than my family for two months now.

Do you have any gay family members? I honestly think I do but my family is so secretive about everything, from family drama to who has a terminal illness to sexual orientation. I will probably be the first one to publicly come out, if everything goes right in the new few months.

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? I got it from one of the independent clothing stores in Feliz. They sold all these really cute tiny halter tops for only ₱80 each ($1.60)?!?!?! which was wild so I went ahead and got like four, and one of them is what I’m wearing at the moment. I’m so desperate to be outside, or at least, feel like I’m outside, so I’ve taken to wearing the clothes I’d wear in public right at home loooool.

Do any of your friends dislike each other? Yes lmao it’s hilarious. Andrew (who’s part of the newer wave of members in our org) has never been able to win over my OG org friends – Jo, Kate, Aya – so it gets super awkward when both ~generations~ get together in org parties. Since I’m everyone’s friend I always have to divide my time between groups or tables so that I get to spend time with everyone :(

Who is your last missed call from? It was from Angela’s mom, who called on the morning of my birthday to greet me. I feel bad about missing the call but you have to know that I hate getting calls from anyone other than Gabie, so when I woke up to my phone ringing I just rolled over to the other side and let the call pass. I did thank her profusely once I was properly up though.

Do you feel like everything is falling apart around you? This was me last night. As a journalism major, I felt very helpless seeing ABS-CBN get off the air at 7:47 PM and even more helpless when I saw so many people rejoicing over their shutdown, with absolutely no regard for the 11,000 employees who have just lost their jobs. Times have been hard enough in the country because of the government’s poor response to the virus, and now one of our biggest sources of news and information has also been silenced. It was enough to make me shut down last night and I just couldn’t do anything, couldn’t think properly, couldn’t even talk to my girlfriend.

Was your first kiss romantic? I’ve always thought it had been more awkward, but when we got to talking about it in the past my girlfriend apparently found it very romantic and sweet.

Do you miss any of your ex's right now? No ex.

Have you ever overdosed on anything? I have not.

What would you say if you found out your last ex was in a relationship? Look two questions above.

Who was the last person to text you before you went to bed? No one texted me before bed but I did get a text upon waking up this morning; it was Andrew. I’m guessing they saw that I deactivated all my social media last night because they texted their concern for me and told me they were gonna be there for me if I needed anyone to talk to.

How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough? One.

Do you know anybody whose last name is a color? Answered this in a survey but yeah, Maroon and Black.

What are you most likely to go to jail for? Ooh I dunno, I’m honestly such a goody two shoes skskksks. Does answering back to the police count? That’s the legit worst thing I imagine myself doing.

Where was your last kiss? Near my car. I was leaving Gabie’s place and she walked me to my car, and I gave her a kiss before I left.

Who was your date to Prom? My cousin. I didn’t give a shit about prom during my junior year since I was super infatuated with Gabie then, I was already seeing her, and I still had no guy friends, but because prom in my school was mandatory attendance I just pulled my favorite cousin to be with me that night.

Do you still talk to your first love? Yeah, I’m still with her to this day.

Whose wedding did you go to first? I honestly don’t remember since I was gotten as flower girl so many times as a toddler. I do have photos of being a flower girl when I was 3 and at least, that’s the oldest-documented wedding I was in. I don’t know whose it was, but it must have been a very distant relative since I only went with my paternal grandparents and absolutely no one else from my family, not even my parents lol.

When is the last time you went to the beach? Nasugbu, August 2019.

Do you ever feel like life is going by too fast? For sure. April was a fucking blur.

Are you ashamed of anyone you've dated in the past? No but my friends have always made me feel like not dating Mike was a bullet dodged. I dunno what to think of it though as I barely knew/know him.

What about anyone you've been friends with? Mostly no, since former friends were important to me at some point and to be ashamed of them is to throw away the good times we did have, but I do prefer to dissociate myself from Athenna. Her behavior has turned so rotten in college and she badmouthed Angela and made her miserable for a very long time; it’s like I have no clue who she is now. Apparently people in her school also think she’s a fucking weirdo, so that has just made me all the more confused about what’s happened to her through the years.

Have you ever made out with someone in a pool? In the sea, yes. Not in a pool since there’s always kids around.

What are you doing this weekend? Same thing I’ve been doing the last 51 days I guess: have late breakfast, take several surveys, maybe take a nap, continue my Spanish lessons, play with my dog, take more surveys, maybe meet some progress on my thesis if I feel mentally capable to work on it.

Who’s the last person that slept over your house? I think it was Gabie. I’m really the only family member that brings over someone at our place for the night haha, and it’s usually Gabie.

Do you still talk to the last person you kissed? Yes.

Have you ever kissed someone with a tongue ring? No but this did remind me of when I used to have a big crush on CM Punk, who used to have a lip ring hahahahahaha.

Is it hard for you to get over a lover? As a demi, I imagine it would be very hard as it would also be losing a best friend.

Have you ever had a best friend of the opposite sex? I wouldn’t say that. I have a couple of close friends though.

Was your mom ever a stripper? No.

Do you regret any of the relationships you were in? A little bit. I wish my first relationship with Gabie ended months sooner than it actually did. The last few months of it were just us beating around the bush and physically avoiding it each other in school; it was a huge waste of time.

Have you ever tried making someone jealous? Yes, that’s what I did when we ^ finally broke up. By the time we broke up I had long accepted that the relationship wasn’t working and I was already doing a little fine, and I was well enough to do stuff to make her see that she was missing out. It’s high school pettiness so I’ve forgiven myself for it lol.

Would you ever get a boob job? I’ve definitely thought about it but idk. I’ll have to be rich enough to want to allot money for plastic surgery because it’s not very essential for me.

Did your last relationship end because of you or the other person? Because of her.

Who is the last person you flirted with? Just my girlfriend.

Whos the most racist person you know? Probably my mom. She has said some eyeroll-worthy stuff about the Chinese throughout the lockdown and I remember she initially had a negative reaction to my cousin Joelle when she introduced us to her black fiancé. I do know she’s a bit scared of me because I wouldn’t hesitate to call her out on her racism, so thankfully her statements have lessened over the years.

Do people ever compliment your eyes? Not really. It’s not a strong suit.

Have you ever lied to your boyfriend/girlfriend? Eh, just about small stuff like lying about not being hungry.

When is the last time you saw one of your ex's? Gabie was my ex at one point I guess? I last saw her March 7th.

Who was the last person you hung out with? Also Gabie. She was the last non-family member I saw before the whole world fell apart, basically lol.

Which one of your ex's do you hate the most?

Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? No. I never understood why it’s a big deal for a lot of couples and I’d genuinely like to hear a good reason why. We don’t watch porn together but Gab and I would definitely watch some on our own time and it hasn’t affected our relationship or sex life at all.

Out of everyone you kissed, give me the initials of the best kisser? I’ve only kissed one person and she kisses amazingly, so GAD.

Do you regret a lot of things you did in the past? No. Just some small stuff here and there.

How many people have you kissed this year? One.

How many people has your best friend had sex with? One.

How long have you known the last person you kissed? I have technically known her since 2002, but we didn’t know each other and become friends until 2011.

Do you think one of your friends is a slut? No. One of my former acquaintances was and I’m so not saying that in a judgy way lmao she can fuck whoever she wants whenever she wants, but I don’t really talk to her anymore + she’s no longer single.

When is your birthday? April 21st.

[bestfriendforhire]

Entry 379

 “James, have a moment?” questioned Dejon from my office doorway.

 “For you, certainly.  What’s up?”

 He stepped nervously into the room, looking around as he did.  The office currently looked like my favorite part of the Whimsical Woods of Gadregarn.  The alien creatures and vegetation were probably throwing him off.

 “My office has a variety of settings to depict alien worlds.  Convincing, aren’t they?” I commented with a smile as he stepped over some roots.  “Mila, mind changing the room to match Charles Dickens’ office?  The one from Gad’s Hill Place.”

 Dejon grinned, quickly stepping over to the bookshelves.  “This is almost like the pictures!”

 “Probably slightly more accurate to what Dickens preferred.” I admitted.  “I thought I remembered you liking his work.”

 “Who doesn’t?  These books are real!?” he exclaimed, running his fingers over the covers.

 “Depends on how you want to define ‘real’.  Though they’re not made of paper, you could pick one up and read it while in here, but I have a feeling you came here for something other than reading.”

 He nodded, his fingers lingering on the covers longingly.  Then he turned around and said, “I want to use my ability on an employee, on…  Noelle.”  He stepped closer to my desk, looking determined.  “I could help her, James, in ways even Mila couldn’t.  If I told her to remember a name, for example, she’d actually remember it.  I’m certain it would work.”

 “Her memory issues are a bit unique, so I can’t guarantee that such a tactic would give permanent results.  Have you talked with her about it?” I asked.

 Shaking his head, he told me “No.  I didn’t want to get her hopes up if you were against the idea.”

 “On the condition that you discuss things with her before each attempt, I’m fine with it, but don’t go through with anything if Mila recommends against it.  You know she’s always watching.”

 “Really?  We can try?” he questioned, sounding surprised.

 “Sure!  This will give you a safe way to practice more and Noelle really could stand to benefit if things work well.”

 He smiled a little but seemed to think of something.  “Don’t you want to at least be present when I try, in case something goes wrong?”

 “Mila is my eyes and ears.  She’s also even better at pure logic than I am, so she’ll be more capable of helping you to word the commands, not that an avid reader such as yourself will have problems in that area.  I look forward to hearing the results.”

 “Thank you!  Thank you so much.  I’ve met her a few times now, and each time has worried me more than the last.  How does she even make it from one day to the next without remembering…”  He motioned with his hands as if trying to grasp all the things Noelle forgot in a day.  “Everything!  I know Mila helps her now, but…”

 “Yes, do remember that she has made it this far in life without us before you get too carried away.”

 “Oh…. Yes.  Sorry.  She just seems so helpless, and I want to help make her life easier.  I’m sure this’ll work.” he assured me.  “Did you know she doesn’t even remember her birthday!?”

 “Christmas.” I replied.  “Probably why her parents named her ‘Noelle’, don’t you think?”

 “Yes… I suppose that would make sense, but she doesn’t even remember that she was born on Christmas!” he exclaimed.

 “Actually, she does, according to her sister, but only around that season.  The decorations are enough to help her remember.”

 “Still, James… that has to be hard.” he insisted.

 I nodded and said, “Yes, but she also forgets her worries frequently, leaving her happier than most.”

 Dejon frowned.  “I can see the appeal, but I also find the idea horrifying.”

 I laughed.  “I certainly wouldn’t care for it either.  Did you know that you’ve frequently been affected by her magic?

 “What?  She has magic?” he questioned.

 “You still have considerable spellwork to practice.  I know using residual energy is difficult for you, but you’ve seen the benefits as well.  Do your best to focus next time you’re around Noelle.”

 “But what… what does she do?” he inquired, looking concerned.

 “She continually wears her emotions on her sleeve, literally showing everyone how she feels.  Pay attention, and you’ll catch the magic, especially if she’s extraordinarily excited or nervous.”

 “Can I get more of a hint?”

 Smiling, I said, “I can’t see them, so I truly am not the best person to provide hints.  Emma’s noticed, so you should ask her.  Cosette probably has as well.  That girl doesn’t miss much.”

 Dejon nodded.  “Okay.  Will do.”  He stood there, seeming to be thinking through what I said.

 “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

 “Oh!  Sorry.  No.  I’ll go.  Thank you for seeing me and granting me permission.  Sorry to take up your time.” he replied, speaking quickly.

 “Relax.  I’m happy for a small break.” I assured him.

 Dejon smiled a little before walking out.  I knew he had a good heart, despite having my doubts when I first met him.  Sighing as my mind started tracing back through the years that passed for me since then, I did my best to refocus.

 Aaliyah had drafted a proposal to be submitted to the city council as part of our endeavors toward the start of my company’s taxi service.  Through our app, Mila would be contacted to provide travel services throughout the city.  The proposal also included plans for a Wi-Fi blanket provided by a subsidiary that Aaliyah had purchased for me a few months back.  The two were tied by claims that the automated taxis would make use of the Wi-Fi for traffic updates, better guidance, and oversight to demonstrate the safety of the system.  I had no doubts that everything was in order, but Aaliyah insisted I memorize some details for when I’m questioned on it.

 I pressed through the material, making sure to utilize the overly technical tutorial she had written as well.  Recognizing that the taxi designs were based off some of the work Jarod and Aurora had done, I started reading through how their percentage would work as well.  Unsurprisingly, a note toward the end informed me when I was scheduled to give the sales pitch to Jarod.  Checking the time, I saw that I was right on schedule.

[alxspeaks]

As some of you may have noticed, I have been pretty quiet on social media recently. In fact, I went roughly 2 months without as much as opening up a social media app. In total, it was 3 months until I officially made a post from any of my social media accounts. Now this may not seem like such a big deal, but like most of the world’s population I was addicted to social media.

In 2019, it is estimated that there will be around 2.77 billion social media users around the globe and that figure continues to increase (The Statistics Portal).Social media is everything right now: people turn to Twitter before they turn on the news, every business has a social media platform, and it is now the easiest way to contact anyone from your Mom to Cardi B. Everyone is involved in some aspect of social media and it is so easy to get caught up without even realising it. I would often find myself constantly hopping between Facebook, Instagram ,Snapchat and Twitter, scrolling, uploading and posting. It was the first thing I did when I woke up and the last thing before I went to bed. I would stay up late with nothing but the glare from my phone screen glowing on my face as I would constantly follow updates and news feeds. It had gotten to the point where I began to feel uncomfortable without my phone in my hand and whenever I felt a bit socially awkward it was the first thing I would look for. I began to depend on it and this twisted relationship started to trigger a lot of problems for me.

It all began in March 2018 just after my 24th birthday when I started to really notice a big change in my overall mood: 50% of the time I was unhappy and the other 50% I spent worrying and feeling anxious. Throughout my time at University I had been noticing increased anxiety and changes in my mood but after graduation it just seemed to be getting progressively worse. It came to a point where my overall outlook on life was consistently negative and I was miserable, unable to eat, sleep or think clearly. I had this feeling that I was just a total failure at everything and I was finding it extremely difficult to cope with life. I was really scared of the thoughts going through my head and I felt as though I had no control over my emotions. Although I had felt overwhelmed and stressed before, I knew that this was different but I had no idea what was happening to me. I sought advice from a friend who I knew was open about her mental health journey and after speaking to her I took a huge leap and decided to refer myself to my local mental health team.

This was just the worst thing for me as I hate drawing any attention to myself, yet, here I was,  preparing to talk to total strangers about my life. I started doing my own research into the way that I was feeling and I began to discover that I had symptoms similar to that of Anxiety.These were symptoms that I had been suffering with with for over 5 years and I had just put it down to stress or to me simply overreacting and being silly. I was later diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) Social Phobia and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. MAD! One day i’m just me trying to live my best life, and the next I suddenly have three Anxiety Disorders that I now have to manage and understand. The change was huge and I felt as though I had to learn who I was all over again as all of this time I had been living with a mental health condition that I knew nothing about. It’s crazy to think that if I hadn't taken my health into my own hands I would have never had any answers for the way that I had been feeling all of these years.

There were various different factors that had led up to this point in my life, University being the main one as that was when I had my first signs of anxiety: my self-confidence had really plummeted and I found myself feeling completely lost. After graduation, everything just seemed to be going wrong like my entire future was slipping away from me and I was helpless to stop it (Post-Graduate Depression see article links below). I was under way too much pressure from myself, my family (being the sole carer for two parents with long term illnesses), and from life in general with no help and no one who could truly understand. I was really unsettled and didn’t have anywhere to truly call my home. Job rejections had just become so commonplace that I didn’t even realise how much it was affecting my self confidence. Family and friends that I thought I could count on had all left and in the space of about 3 weeks my friendship circle had more than halved, at a time when I needed the most support I felt truly alone. During this time, I was still active on social media scrolling away, but the more I scrolled the worse it made me feel about my own life and each time I put down my phone after being on social media I felt upset. At times, I was even drawn to tears. Not only was it lowering my self-esteem and fueling the ideas in my head that ‘I am a failure’, it was also a huge trigger for my Anxiety. Once I realised this, I knew I had to take action, but I honestly didn’t know how. Then, one day, I went to spend some time with one of my closest friends and she said four life changing words to me. ‘You have a choice’. As obvious as this may seem I had genuinely forgotten that I actually have the option to choose whether or not to participate in social media. She explained that she had been through a similar experience and that she had to set herself some very strict rules. One of them was that she only logged in when she was making a social media post and logged out straight after; she never scrolled! That was all the advice I needed and I immediately logged out of all my social media accounts and guess what? The world didn’t end and I finally felt as though I had control over one aspect of my life. I now controlled social media; it did not control me. The moment I logged out, I didn’t feel the urge to log back in for months. However, I still found myself reaching for my phone out of habit. So, to shift my focus, I downloaded apps that are constructive uses of my time such as wordscapes, Duolingo (started learning new languages) and Headspace (mindfulness meditation).

Throughout all of this I was still struggling whilst awaiting my first counselling appointment on a 3 month waiting list, but I put on a brave face, carrying on with business as usual. Then, one day, I snapped. I had a huge panic attack and during this whole episode I accidently smashed my phone. I had completely given up on life and I felt as though no one understood what I was going through.

So, there I was, completely broken and no phone, no contacts, no apps, nothing! Ordinarily I would have been even more of a mess after breaking my phone, but I later found that this gave me the push I needed to understand that I don’t need to be contacting people all the time and people don’t always need to be updated on my every move. In fact, it’s when I am most quiet on social media that I am working my hardest, and at this particular time it was vital that I put all of my efforts into working on me and my well being.

In addition to this, (I have a confession to make, here it goes…) I haven't picked up a pencil in over a year! Unfortunately I have not been able to design as much as a vest since last year summer. When my mental health deteriorated, so did my creative flow. However, I did not see it at the time so I just put more pressure on myself to create a new collection until it made me sick and my body started to shut down. I went without sleep, food, water, social life, pretty much everything a human needs to function. I was forcing myself to produce work in ridiculous time frames, frantically trying to prove to myself and the world that I am good enough. The fact that I couldn’t think clearly just caused me more frustration but mostly I didn't want to let everyone down: all of you who believe in me and my creative talent. I already felt like a failure in my own eyes and I didn’t want anyone else to think the same. My desire was to be constantly seen on social media doing amazing things in fashion but that just wasn’t my reality.

The truth is, I had built up so much pressure around myself and my fashion career that it became a huge anxiety trigger for me. As a result, I haven't been able to return to my beautiful design studio in nearly a year. Me, Alex, who lives and breathes fashion. I wrestled with the idea for a long time but I was forced to take an extended break from fashion design and my other projects until I saw some improvement in my mental health. I once said that if I was to suddenly die I wouldn’t be upset because I was no longer alive, I would be upset because I didn’t get the chance to live a life that I enjoyed living. I had to take a break and readjust my whole life, it was seriously a matter of life and death; I had to put my fashion career on hold.

I’ve heard of so many artists, musicians and writers taking creative breaks and now I completely understand why. My creativity is such a huge part of me but it only works when i’m in good health. Anything that I create outside of that is just not a clear representation of me as an artist. I was so focused on trying to live my best life through the eyes of others that I forgot to look after myself. Right now, living my best life currently looks like attending my therapy sessions, remembering to breathe, drinking plenty of water and practicing mindfulness. I plan to take as much time as I need to focus on me and my health so that I can come back stronger and produce something that’s true to who I am as a designer when I am at my best. So next time you see me, don’t ask how my collection is going, ask me how I am doing!

We often look at people who do great things and admire them from afar. In our eyes they might seem like the best and the brightest and it’s easy to assume that all is well with them. But, my experience has shown me that this is one of the most dangerous assumptions a person could make. I was still going through all of this trauma when I was raising the money for my collection, when my shirt design was sold in Hawes and Curtis and when I became one of Birmingham’s 30under30 finalists. I realised that I had been wearing a happy mask and suffering in silence for years until it eventually fell down and I was left to deal with everything that I have been hiding from. It came to the point where I was just waiting for someone, anyone, to ask me if I was ok. Then, finally, I took my health into my own hands and bravely asked for help.

I am currently undergoing therapy sessions with the best therapist ever and we are working through small steps to help me get better. I finally have somewhere safe that I can call my home and i’ve started spending more time doing things that I enjoy like being outdoors and writing poetry. I also started doing yoga and practicing mindfulness meditation so I can learn how to switch off when my head is just doing the most (the Headspace app has literally saved my life, check it out). My relationship with social media is now so much better and I have set rules for myself #noscrolling and I logout after every session. I have seen huge improvements in my mental health, self-esteem and body confidence since doing this and I just feel generally more positive about life. I still have a very long way to go and I am nowhere near better yet but each day I learn something new and I make progress.

I logged out of social media and it was one the best decisions I have ever made for myself. On my 24th birthday I told myself that this was going to be the year of me and so far it has been. Although it has been my most difficult year to date I have been forced to focus on me and put my health first because, at the end of the day, that is what is most important.

For more information about Anxiety Disorders and mental health advice check out these links below.

For Useful Contacts

https://birminghammind.org/contact-page/emergency-contacts/

For Information

YouTube- The 5 Major Anxiety Disorders

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzaNQAh3NiY&t=7s

Mind

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/anxiety-disorders/#.W6GCdy2ZNsM

Beyond Blue

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/types-of-anxiety

Post-Graduate Depression

https://metro.co.uk/2017/07/17/why-is-no-one-talking-about-post-graduate-depression-6760769/

https://www.topuniversities.com/blog/we-need-talk-about-post-graduation-depression

References

The Statistics Portal https://www.statista.com/statistics/278414/number-of-worldwide-social-network-users/

[elystration-blog]

Tips for Calming Anxiety

Do you ever feel like your world is getting narrower? And your heart beats fast caused by your overthinking, and excessive worrying about your day ahead? You might have Generalized Anxiety Disorder or GAD. Please keep on reading this, you might find helpful tips in coping up and you might have further understanding about this Anxiety Disorder.

First of all let me introduce myself,  hi I am Aileen 26 years old, I am writing this Blog to let other person (suffering from GAD) know that you are not alone. Or maybe someone will read this and unconsciously experiencing the same thing as I do. I will tell you brief introduction about Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), which is the most common type of Anxiety Disorder, how it feels like having GAD, and how I learned to calm my mind. Just a note, I did not undergo psychiatric/ psychological help, meaning I didn’t consult a doctor about my situation. But knowing myself well, by research, and having some background in Psychology I realized that I have Anxiety Disorder for quite some time. Little by little I’m learning to cope with it.

What is Generalized Anxiety Disorder? It is the most common type of Anxiety Disorder, which involves chronic worrying, nervousness, and tension. The worrying in GAD is not simple/ normal but it involves excessive, intrusive, persistent, and disruptive worrying.

So, how it feels like to have Generalized Anxiety Disorder? Although worrying is a normal part of human nature, having GAD worrying takes it to the next level. Having it is really heavy; you worry too much about daily activities. And GAD does not come alone it is accompanied by alcohol, drug abuse, OCD or eating disorders and in my case depression. Having GAD feels like it’s hard to stop worrying, there are situations that people without GAD see as easy and simple, but for those suffering from GAD it feels hard to accomplish, just thinking about the possible worst scenario makes us feel tired, helpless, burned out, and in some cases depressed, and we can’t stop thinking about it no matter how hard we try.

I am thinking when did I start having GAD? And I realized that I have it since I was 17. Those were the times that I’m always having doubts in my mind and it’s easy for me to jump into conclusion that worse things might happen. I can’t stop thinking, I tried to stop my mind but it just won’t, or maybe it will for just a minute but it will come back again in my consciousness. It affects my self-esteem and my social life, because I came to the point that I was thinking maybe this people were just trying to be nice at me but the truth they didn’t like me, I also thought that I only cause trouble to people so for some extent I tried to distance myself from people. I admit, I know that I’m an introvert since I was 15. But I became more socially aloof when I experienced GAD. I became quieter because I’m too anxious that I might say the wrong words or I might hurt people.

But I realized just recently that my Anxiety becomes more and more unrealistic when I was on 3rd yr. college, every morning, I wake up with severe anxiety, thinking of all the tasks, subjects and professors that I need to meet. I feel like my energy shrinks, I feel sick, and I felt like I am not able to meet all the daily activities I have for that day, so I started to feel weak and really sick like I’m going to throw up and most of the time my solution is to be absent at school, and stay in my room all day. But I can say it wasn’t the best idea and it’s not even the right solution because as the day is going to end, anxiety is hitting my mind really hard, I was thinking I did not go to school what if they had an exam or quiz and I was not able to take it, or they study this certain topic and what if tomorrow we will have exam about that? I might fail.  Then I will start thinking I’m the worst person, I can’t do anything right, I’m not able to do anything and it will run into my mind repeatedly while I’m crying myself to sleep. Then the next day anxiety strikes again, but I have to face the day. I can’t delay it, so I will walk to school with a heavy heart and a lot of anxiety.

There is this scenario that when a friend doesn’t respond to a message, thoughts will pop up in my mind like from nowhere, thinking is she mad at me? Maybe I did something wrong? Maybe she thinks I’m the worst person? And I will start recalling of my past actions and communication with her, trying to track of any wrong things I might done or say. Another scenario is when my boyfriend will meet me or will go home and it’s 1 hour already or maybe 1 hour and 10 to 15 minutes already and he hasn’t texted me yet, my hands are already shaking, my heart is pounding it beats really fast and I’m about to cry because worst things are popping up in my head, what if he had an accident or some bad people tripped him? A lot of worst thought keep on running in my head until I will receive his text saying it’s just traffic and stuff like that and nothing wrong happened.

It’s really hard to have Generalized Anxiety Disorder; you might not know when it will attack you. In my case now, it does not attack me every day, but there are some situations that triggered it and when it’s active I will have mixed emotions, and defense mechanism like I will really go mad or I will not talk at all or I will feel low and down and I will just lie down staring at something, thinking of what makes me anxious and my pain like it was a movie. What makes having GAD even harder and painful to bare is that often times the trigger comes from the people that is close to you, the ones that you think are supposed to be your support. In this case maybe this people are not aware of your situation, maybe you can tell them, but for me it’s really hard to admit to them that I have Anxiety Disorder issues.

What works for me now? Yes, little by little I’m learning how to tame my anxiety. First is to have at least one person that you can be real to, that you can tell everything and anything and that includes your anxiety issues (I remember my professor in college always tells us the importance of having a friend that we can lean on), talk to that person although it’s hard and it feels awkward at first just do it, tell that person how to know when you’re under attack by anxiety, how it feels and what he/ she can do and what’s not to do. Apologize in advance because in my opinion, when anxiety is active I have reactions that I hurt people not maybe physically but emotionally, so it is important for you to really explain your side to that at least one person you’re getting support from. And when you’re not having anxiety attack, let that person know how grateful you are to have them and how much help they are to you. Because I think we can’t handle anxiety without any support.

Next tip is to write down all your activities for the month, break them down into weekly task and from that weekly task create a daily to do list and an actionable plan in how you can get them done. In that case, you will become less anxious, just make sure you are committed in doing that daily to do list you’ve created for yourself or else you’ll be in so much trouble.

Third tip is to get a hobby, yes a hobby! Whether it’s sports, exercise, having me time, meeting up with friends, walking, listening to music, playing musical instruments, or being creative (but it’s not limited to that) anything that you can enjoy doing, but not the bad stuff like substance abuse. I tell you in advance it’s not that easy, but it’s doable and it’s worth it. There are times when I’m anxious I feel angry (towards others and towards myself) but instead of staying mad for too long I am really pushing myself to shift my attention in drawing and playing with watercolors (the same thing I do when I feel depressed), and if I’m really having hard time to getting inspiration, I will browse my Instagram feeds or I will watch YouTube videos to get some fresh inspiration, and IT WORKS!

Last but not the least tip I’m going to share with you is, having a relationship with God! Real one, meaning you won’t put God as an option instead you will treat Him as your best friend, you might ask me how? Pray, tell him about your thoughts and feelings, cry your heart out. I’ll tell you you’ll feel better. But of course you can’t just do that without faith. Faith is believing in what is unseen. Have faith in God and believe that he cares for you and he is listening to your prayers. Ask for his guidance and peace every time (Matthew 7:7- Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.). Read the bible you might encounter words that will lift you up or the answers to your questions in life, you can also watch preaching in YouTube. There is a lot of opportunity to hear God’s message that is available to everyone.

Having Anxiety Disorder is not easy, I know cause I have. I’m writing this to help at least one person, for you to know you’re not alone and there is always someone that understands you and is willing to help. There are a lot of self-help activities and tips on the internet, mine is just personal stuff that works for me, and I was thinking of why not sharing this to you it might help. I hope and pray that you will find your way into becoming a conqueror of your anxiety, and for you to find the peace of heart and mind because you deserve it. Work in your own phase, step by step even if that step means slow, just take it at least you’re moving forward.

Thanks for taking time reading this, I pray that you get something helpful from this. You can do it, you are a conqueror! God Bless!

[bffhreprise]

Best Friend For Hire Reprise, Entry 377

 I took a deep breath and practiced running through my arguments again.  Mila had told me that James could probably fit me into his schedule today, and I didn’t want to screw this up, not with Noelle’s…  Umm…  How would I put this if he asked?  Have I even thought this through enough?

 “You should head up to James’ office now.  He won’t be there too much longer.” stated Mila from my living room’s speakers.

 After a moment of startled panic as my thoughts crashed, I thanked her for reminding me and headed out while trying to recollect my thoughts again.  If James turned me down, I…  I couldn’t go against his decision, but I’d want to.

 I quickly found myself considering what life would be like if I was forced to leave here.  Best Friend For HIre was weird in the best way.  The job paid far too well for the services we performed, especially in benefits.  Living here was free, health benefits were free, education was encouraged and free, the food was professionally prepared and still free, and the books…  The employee library was incredible, and Mila had even more available digitally, books I had never even heard of before coming here.  I could only imagine what James’ personal library had to be like, probably filled with first editions from everywhere.  He certainly spoke enough languages to appreciate untranslated stories with all of their unique flavor.

 Only when I reached James’ office on the third floor did I realize how many tangents I had covered on the way.  Desperately, I tried to regather my thoughts and go over my talking points, but the door opened in front of me.

 “James, have a moment?” I blurted, cursing myself for not being better prepared.

 “For you, certainly.  What’s up?” he asked, looking up at me.

Stepping into the office, I stared around in wonder at what was around me.  There were creatures unlike anything I had seen in life, film, or print throughout tree-like plants that I doubted even Emma could name.  I was so lost that I found myself stepping over a root—yes, there were roots across a grass-like floor—before even consciously realizing that there shouldn’t be roots in an office.

 “My office has a variety of settings to depict alien worlds.” he explained, smiling at my bewilderment.  “Convincing, aren’t they?” he commented, glancing around.  His desk—which should have caught my attention immediately—appeared to be made of stone, as if he was conducting business on a large rock.  “Mila, mind changing the room to match Charles Dickens’ office?  The one from Gad’s Hill Place.”

 I grinned immediately as I looked around.  The room had quickly changed form, the roots sinking into the tree and animals vanishing as an amazing replication of Charles Dickens’ own office appeared around me.  “This is almost like the pictures!” I exclaimed, feeling very impressed.

 “Probably slightly more accurate to what Dickens preferred.” suggested James with a nod.  “I thought I remembered you liking his work.”

 “Who doesn’t?” I questioned as I touched a book on a nearby shelf I had approached.  “These books are real!?”  The books certainly felt real.

 “Depends on how you want to define ‘real’.  Though they’re not made of paper, you could pick one up and read it while in here, but I have a feeling you came here for something other than reading.” he told me, reminding me that I had something important to accomplish here.

 I nodded as I struggled to convince myself that pulling a book from the shelf would not be in my best interest.  Finally turning around to face him, I said, “I want to use my ability on an employee, on…  Noelle.”  I approached him, ordering my thoughts.  “I could help her, James, in ways even Mila couldn’t.  If I told her to remember a name, for example, she’d actually remember it.  I’m certain it will work.”

 “Her memory issues are a bit unique, so I can’t guarantee that such a tactic would give permanent results.  Have you talked with her about it?” he asked, seeming interested.

 I shook my head as I told him “No.  I didn’t want to get her hopes up if you were against the idea.”

 “On the condition that you discuss things with her before each attempt, I’m fine with it, but don’t go through with anything if Mila recommends against it.  You know she’s always watching.” he reminded me.

 My mouth hung open as my thoughts froze, replaying his words through my head.  “Really?  We can try?” I asked in surprise, my arguments falling out of order again like papers blown away by a gust of wind.

 “Sure!” he exclaimed enthusiastically.  “This will give you a safe way to practice more and Noelle really could stand to benefit if things work well.”

 I smiled, imagining how excited Noelle was going to be, but a thought drifted back that I couldn’t let slide.  “Don’t you want to at least be present when I try, in case something goes wrong?” I asked him, realizing he had said nothing about being there.

 “Mila is my eyes and ears.  She’s also even better at pure logic than I am, so she’ll be more capable of helping you to word the commands, not that an avid reader such as yourself will have problems in that area.” he told me without a hint of teasing.  “I look forward to hearing the results.”

 “Thank you!” I exclaimed, finally allowing my own enthusiasm to win out.  “Thank you so much.  I’ve met her a few times now, and each time has worried me more than the last.  How does she even make it from one day to the next without remembering…”  I motioned with my hands, hopelessly trying to catch all of the things she forgot about in a day.  “Everything!  I know Mila helps her now, but…”

 “Yes, do remember that she has made it this far in life without us before you get too carried away.” he pointed out with a patient smile.

 “Oh….” I stated as my mind trudged along that untamed path.  I hadn’t really considered that well enough.  “Yes.  Sorry.  She just seems so helpless, and I want to help make her life easier.  I’m sure this’ll work.” I quickly told him, not wanting him to change his mind.  “Did you know she doesn’t even remember her birthday!?”

 “Christmas.” he told me instantly, making me wonder if he knew mine off the top of his head as well.  “Probably why her parents named her ‘Noelle’, don’t you think?”

 “Yes… I suppose that would make sense, “I admitted.  Not wanting to lose my point, I quickly added, “but she doesn’t even remember that she was born on Christmas!”

 James shook his head.  “Actually, she does, according to her sister, but only around that season.  The decorations are enough to help her remember.” he explained, watching my reaction.

 I didn’t doubt him.  I didn’t know how anyone ever doubted James.  “Still, James… that has to be hard.” I insisted, imagining all of the common questions about herself that Noelle just couldn’t answer.

 James nodded and said, “Yes, but she also forgets her worries frequently, leaving her happier than most.”

 I frowned at the thought.  “I can see the appeal, but I also find the idea horrifying.” I explained, doing my best not to shudder as I considered the idea again.

 James chuckled while saying, “I certainly wouldn’t care for it either.”  Then his face became more serious as he asked me “Did you know that you’ve frequently been affected by her magic?

 “What?  She has magic?” I asked in surprise.  If she was really using magic on me—No, she must be—so how had I never noticed?

 “You still have considerable spellwork to practice.” James pointed out as if reading my thoughts.  Perhaps he was.  This was James.  “I know using residual energy is difficult for you, but you’ve seen the benefits as well.  Do your best to focus next time you’re around Noelle.”

 “But what… what does she do?” I asked, still shocked by this bomb.

 “She continually wears her emotions on her sleeve, literally showing everyone how she feels.  Pay attention, and you’ll catch the magic, especially if she’s extraordinarily excited or nervous.” he insisted, an amused smile on his face.

 “Can I get more of a hint?” I asked hopefully.

 His head shook slightly and there was a bit of resignation in his tone as he spoke.  “I can’t see them, so I truly am not the best person to provide hints.  Emma’s noticed, so you should ask her.  Cosette probably has as well.  That girl doesn’t miss much.”

 I nodded in agreement.  Surprising Cosette was a fool’s errand.  “Okay.  Will do.”  I decided, still thinking about what sort of magic Noelle possessed.  For James not to be able to see it, there had to be something affecting my mind around her, altering my perception.  What would it be?  Why would he say that she wears her thoughts on her sleeves?

 “Is there anything else I can do for you?” he asked, stopping my pondering mind in its tracks.

 “Oh!  Sorry.  No.  I’ll go.  Thank you for seeing me and granting me permission.  Sorry to take up your time.” I quickly told him, not wanting to overstay my welcome.  As far as I knew, James lost millions every minute he took a break.  The man literally worked day and night at times, so I didn’t want to be a bother.

 “Relax.  I’m happy for a small break.” he assured me.

 I smiled despite myself.  James was such a kind person.  Thanking him once again, I quickly hurried on my way, excited to tell Noelle.

 “Noelle’s currently in her room, studying, but a break won’t hurt her if you want to tell her the good news.” stated Mila from one of her bodies that had snuck up on me.

 I almost asked how Noelle could possibly study with her lack of short-term memory, but I thanked Mila instead.  By the time I reached the stairs, I was jogging.  Wearing the company’s enhancement suits made me inhumanly agile.  Though my physical abilities still paled compared to half the people here, I wouldn’t accidentally bump into any of the priceless artwork adorning the halls even if I sprinted.  Even more amazingly, I wouldn’t even run out of breath.  Our daily exercises had put me in the best shape of my life.

 “Come in!” exclaimed Noelle after I knocked on her door.

 The door was locked.  “Please, wait a moment, and I’ll get the lock.” stated Mila.

 Suddenly, the idea that Noelle wasn’t decent on the other side of the door entered my mind, but I told myself even she wouldn’t forget what she was…  No.  Noelle totally would forget what she was or wasn’t wearing.  Noelle could forget anything, and I did my best to imitate her in this case.  I couldn’t afford the distraction of thinking about that beautiful, sweet girl in…

 The door opened, and I saw her standing feet away from me, her bright blue eyes staring up at me.  Her eyes were larger than average, her mouth was on the thin side, and her cheeks were slightly flushed.  I stood there stupidly, my thoughts having fled as my cheeks heated.  Why did I have to think about.. that… at her doorway.  I was here to help her, nothing more.

 “Mila just told me you have good news!” exclaimed Noelle with a broad smile for her tiny mouth.

 I smiled in return, telling myself not to hug the overly adorable girl.  Forcing myself to calm down, I asked her if we might talk inside, and then went about explaining my idea as well as James’ approval.

 “You can really just tell me to remember things, and I will?” she asked, not remotely disturbed by the idea that I’d be forcing her mind to the task.

 I nodded, unable to stop myself from grinning when she seemed so excited.  “Yes, that’s pretty much how it should work.” I assured her, really hoping she could manage remembering this conversation somehow.  “Maybe we could try…” I started to say.

 She interrupted me immediately, nodding and grabbing my hands.  “Yes!  I want to remember you.  Make me remember you!” she exclaimed, her face all too close as she leaned forward.

 I looked to the nearest mirror—I always associated Mila with the mirrors in the house with how she frequently appeared on them—and asked Mila’s opinion.  With her consent and a little discussion, I used my power for the first time in months.  With any luck, Noelle would never forget who I am again.  The thought thrilled me.

[flowermandalas]

The Two Faces of “Anxious”

NOTE: This post first appeared on lifehack.org, where I am now a columnist.

“Anxious” is a word with two faces. Sometimes it means eager excitement. “I’m anxious to see you!” we say, as we get off the phone with a friend who’s coming to visit. The other side of “anxious” is a bit darker: “I’m anxious about that test,” we say, when we’re worried about the results. We call the second meaning “anxiety,” and most of us experience it from time to time.

In common usage, both meanings of “anxious” describe our responses to fleeting, time-limited events. But anxiety can also have a much more powerful grip on many of us. Without the right kind of attention, it can rule our lives.

I’m a psychotherapist in private practice north of Boston, Massachusetts, and I’ve worked with many clients who have anxiety. In this, the first of two articles on a psychotherapist’s views on anxiety, I’ll describe what anxiety is and how you can tell whether you or someone close to you is suffering from it. In Part II, I’ll go into its causes and treatments, as well as the best ways to help heal from anxiety disorders.

Anxiety is more common than people think

More people in the United States have anxiety disorders than any other mental illness. Anxiety affects more than 40 million adult Americans and about one in eight children. Some experts put the estimate much higher, because many people don’t know they have anxiety, are diagnosed incorrectly, or don’t seek help for it.

In my psychotherapy practice, nearly all my clients have some form of anxiety. Sometimes it’s the main reason they came to therapy, and sometimes it’s an underlying issue that shows up after we’ve handled the immediate reason they came for help.

Only about one-third of people who have anxiety disorders seek treatment.

Many anxious people know they have anxiety, but many more do not. They think catastrophizing, expecting the worst, worrying about what people think of them, or staying up late at night worrying about just about everything is normal.

It feels normal because that’s what they’ve been used to most of their lives – but it doesn’t have to be. Most people with an anxiety disorder can overcome it with treatment, support, and self-help strategies.

The difference between feeling worried and having anxiety

An anxiety disorder is different from feeling worried or being afraid. Worries about new or uncertain situations are normal, and feeling afraid in potentially dangerous situations is not only normal, but can sometimes save your life. Worrying about how you will perform on an exam might motivate you to study harder. Worrying about an erratic driver in front of you might help you drive more defensively. Feeling fearful about driving on a winding road in a storm might get you to wait for safer weather conditions.

Also, not everybody who worries a lot has an anxiety disorder. You might feel anxious because of too much work, too much stress, too little sleep, too much coffee, or low blood sugar.

The biggest distinction between normal worry or fear and anxiety disorders is that anxiety disorders involve some form of chronic anxiety, and the anxiety interferes with normal functioning.

7 specific anxiety disorders

There are several kinds of anxiety disorders, and they each look and feel different from one another. One person might have intense panic, another might avoid social situations, another might be unreasonably frightened by dogs, and someone else might worry about nearly everything.

All anxiety disorders share a persistent fear or worry in situations where most people would not be afraid. Specific anxiety disorders have other, specific symptoms.

1. Social Phobia

People with social phobias are afraid of embarrassment or judgement in social situations and may blush, feel tongue-tied, go blank, have rapid heart rate, or show other signs of anxiety in those situations. They will avoid social situations whenever possible.

2. Special Phobias

People with special phobias might be unreasonably afraid of animals such as dogs or spiders, natural events like storms or lightning, heights, open spaces, enclosed spaces, and other parts of the normal world. They may go to extremes to avoid these things.

3. Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) can include feeling nervous most of the time, a sense of impending doom, feeling helpless, rapid breathing, increased heart rate, sweating, trembling, a queasy feeling, and tension in the neck, shoulders, or both.

4. Acute Stress Disorder and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Both of these anxiety disorders sometimes occur after people have witnessed or experienced a physical threat. Symptoms include disturbing memories, flashbacks of the event, trouble sleeping or concentrating, and feeling either tense or numb. Acute Stress Disorder symptoms begin within a month of the traumatic event, while PTSD symptoms typically begin later. Symptoms can last for many years without treatment.

5. Panic Disorder

People with panic disorder have unexpected, severe anxiety attacks during which they are afraid they might die, pass out, or that they are suffocating. They often avoid places where panic attacks occur, which can lead to agoraphobia.

6. Hypochondria

People with hypochondria (now called Illness Anxiety Disorder) worry about having illnesses they probably don’t have. They catastrophize minor or imagined symptoms into a worst-case scenario. For example, they may be convinced that a headache means they have a fatal brain tumor.

7. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Sufferers may check obsessively, count when counting is unnecessary, and in general do ritualized behaviors. They feel unbearably anxious if they do not perform these rituals.

The most common anxiety disorders, in approximately this order, are: Social Phobia, Specific Phobias, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Acute and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders, Panic Disorder, Hypochondria, and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

In my practice, I most often encounter Generalized Anxiety Disorder and PTSD, though I have also had many clients with Panic Disorder, Hypochondria, Social Anxiety Disorder, and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Sometimes, people come in with more than one anxiety disorder. Hypochondria and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, for example, often show up in the same person, as do Social Anxiety Disorder and perfectionism which, though not an “official” anxiety disorder, contributes greatly to most forms of anxiety.

Signs of anxiety disorders

If you identify with any of the following symptoms, you might be dealing with an anxiety disorder.

You’re almost always worried or on edge.

You have irrational fears that you just can’t shake.

You’re often afraid that bad things will happen if you don’t do things in a particular way.

You avoid everyday situations or activities because they make you anxious.

You have sudden, unpredictable attacks of heart-pounding panic.

You almost always expect the worst.

You have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep.

Your muscles almost always feel tense.

You often feel overwhelmed.

You expect more from yourself than most people do

You tend to focus on your health and personal problems more than other things in your life.

Your anxiety interferes with work, school, or family life.

You have one or more of the following physical symptoms: pounding heart, sweating when you’re not exercising or in a warm place, headaches, frequent upset stomach or diarrhea, dizziness, shortness of breath, shaking or trembling.

Some anxiety disorders are harder to spot

In my experience with psychotherapy clients, PTSD is usually the most difficult to spot because its symptoms don’t always cleanly match the standard definition. PTSD can look like depression, several other forms of anxiety disorder, ADHD, or a combination of mental illnesses.

An example: I once worked with a client who seemed to cycle through several anxiety disorders within a few months. She first displayed typical signs of panic disorder, and we quickly worked through them. But then OCD symptoms appeared. Again, we worked through them in what seemed like record time. Irrational fears and intrusive, disturbing thoughts soon followed.

It was a few months before we understood that what she was actually suffering from was the aftermath of childhood trauma. She had what I now think of as free-floating anxiety – a form of anxiety that unconsciously attaches itself to other anxiety syndromes. A clue to understanding how to help her was that she had majored in psychology and knew about various mental illnesses. Her half-remembered knowledge of common anxiety disorders gave her free-floating anxiety a place to focus. Working through the trauma helped her resolve all her anxiety symptoms.

Stay tuned!

In this article, we’ve looked at how worrying and fear are different from anxiety disorders and have identified the main symptoms of common anxiety disorders. In Part II of this two-part series, we’ll go into the causes of anxiety disorders, their treatments, and some self-help practices people with anxiety disorders and their loved ones can do.

P.S. If you find what you read here helpful, please forward it to others who might, too. Or click one of the buttons below.

Books: Paths to Wholeness: Fifty-Two Flower Mandalas 52 (more) Flower Mandalas: An Adult Coloring Book for Inspiration and Stress Relief 52 Flower Mandalas: An Adult Coloring Book for Inspiration and Stress Relief Paths to Wholeness: Selections (free eBook)

Copyright 2017, David J. Bookbinder http://ift.tt/2oskRQ1 http://ift.tt/2ospoC2 http://ift.tt/2osp7Pj

from The Two Faces of “Anxious”

[trendingnewsb]

Anxiety Symptoms That Many People Overlook

“Anxious” is a word with two faces. Sometimes it means eager excitement. “I’m anxious to see you!” we say, as we get off the phone with a friend who’s coming to visit. The other side of “anxious” is a bit darker: “I’m anxious about that test,” we say, when we’re worried about the results. We call the second meaning “anxiety,” and most of us experience it from time to time.

In common usage, both meanings of “anxious” describe our responses to fleeting, time-limited events. But anxiety can also have a much more powerful grip on many of us. Without the right kind of attention, it can rule our lives.

I’m a psychotherapist in private practice north of Boston, Massachusetts, and I’ve worked with many clients who have anxiety. In this, the first of two articles on a psychotherapist’s views on anxiety, I’ll describe what anxiety is and how you can tell whether you or someone close to you is suffering from it. In Part II, I’ll go into its causes and treatments, as well as the best ways to help heal from anxiety disorders.

Anxiety is more common than people think

More people in the United States have anxiety disorders than any other mental illness. Anxiety affects more than 40 million adult Americans and about one in eight children. Some experts put the estimate much higher, because many people don’t know they have anxiety, are diagnosed incorrectly, or don’t seek help for it.

In my psychotherapy practice, nearly all my clients have some form of anxiety. Sometimes it’s the main reason they came to therapy, and sometimes it’s an underlying issue that shows up after we’ve handled the immediate reason they came for help.

Only about one-third of people who have anxiety disorders seek treatment.

Many anxious people know they have anxiety, but many more do not. They think catastrophizing, expecting the worst, worrying about what people think of them, or staying up late at night worrying about just about everything is normal.

It feels normal because that’s what they’ve been used to most of their lives – but it doesn’t have to be. Most people with an anxiety disorder can overcome it with treatment, support, and self-help strategies.

The difference between feeling worried and having anxiety

An anxiety disorder is different from feeling worried or being afraid. Worries about new or uncertain situations are normal, and feeling afraid in potentially dangerous situations is not only normal, but can sometimes save your life. Worrying about how you will perform on an exam might motivate you to study harder. Worrying about an erratic driver in front of you might help you drive more defensively. Feeling fearful about driving on a winding road in a storm might get you to wait for safer weather conditions.

Also, not everybody who worries a lot has an anxiety disorder. You might feel anxious because of too much work, too much stress, too little sleep, too much coffee, or low blood sugar.

The biggest distinction between normal worry or fear and anxiety disorders is that anxiety disorders involve some form of chronic anxiety, and the anxiety interferes with normal functioning.

7 specific anxiety disorders

There are several kinds of anxiety disorders, and they each look and feel different from one another. One person might have intense panic, another might avoid social situations, another might be unreasonably frightened by dogs, and someone else might worry about nearly everything.

All anxiety disorders share a persistent fear or worry in situations where most people would not be afraid. Specific anxiety disorders have other, specific symptoms.

1. Social Phobia

People with social phobias are afraid of embarrassment or judgement in social situations and may blush, feel tongue-tied, go blank, have rapid heart rate, or show other signs of anxiety in those situations. They will avoid social situations whenever possible.

2. Special Phobias

People with special phobias might be unreasonably afraid of animals such as dogs or spiders, natural events like storms or lightning, heights, open spaces, enclosed spaces, and other parts of the normal world. They may go to extremes to avoid these things.

3. Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) can include feeling nervous most of the time, a sense of impending doom, feeling helpless, rapid breathing, increased heart rate, sweating, trembling, a queasy feeling, and tension in the neck, shoulders, or both.

4. Acute Stress Disorder and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Both of these anxiety disorders sometimes occur after people have witnessed or experienced a physical threat. Symptoms include disturbing memories, flashbacks of the event, trouble sleeping or concentrating, and feeling either tense or numb. Acute Stress Disorder symptoms begin within a month of the traumatic event, while PTSD symptoms typically begin later. Symptoms can last for many years without treatment.

5. Panic Disorder

People with panic disorder have unexpected, severe anxiety attacks during which they are afraid they might die, pass out, or that they are suffocating. They often avoid places where panic attacks occur, which can lead to agoraphobia.

6. Hypochondria

People with hypochondria (now called Illness Anxiety Disorder) worry about having illnesses they probably don’t have. They catastrophize minor or imagined symptoms into a worst-case scenario. For example, they may be convinced that a headache means they have a fatal brain tumor.

7. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Sufferers may check obsessively, count when counting is unnecessary, and in general do ritualized behaviors. They feel unbearably anxious if they do not perform these rituals.

The most common anxiety disorders, in approximately this order, are: Social Phobia, Specific Phobias, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Acute and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders, Panic Disorder, Hypochondria, and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

In my practice, I most often encounter Generalized Anxiety Disorder and PTSD, though I have also had many clients with Panic Disorder, Hypochondria, Social Anxiety Disorder, and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Sometimes, people come in with more than one anxiety disorder. Hypochondria and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, for example, often show up in the same person, as do Social Anxiety Disorder and perfectionism which, though not an “official” anxiety disorder, contributes greatly to most forms of anxiety.

Signs of anxiety disorders

If you identify with any of the following symptoms, you might be dealing with an anxiety disorder.

You’re almost always worried or on edge.

You have irrational fears that you just can’t shake.

You’re often afraid that bad things will happen if you don’t do things in a particular way.

You avoid everyday situations or activities because they make you anxious.

You have sudden, unpredictable attacks of heart-pounding panic.

You almost always expect the worst.

You have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep.

Your muscles almost always feel tense.

You often feel overwhelmed.

You expect more from yourself than most people do

You tend to focus on your health and personal problems more than other things in your life.

Your anxiety interferes with work, school, or family life.

You have one or more of the following physical symptoms: pounding heart, sweating when you’re not exercising or in a warm place, headaches, frequent upset stomach or diarrhea, dizziness, shortness of breath, shaking or trembling.

Some anxiety disorders are harder to spot

In my experience with psychotherapy clients, PTSD is usually the most difficult to spot because its symptoms don’t always cleanly match the standard definition. PTSD can look like depression, several other forms of anxiety disorder, ADHD, or a combination of mental illnesses.

An example: I once worked with a client who seemed to cycle through several anxiety disorders within a few months. She first displayed typical signs of panic disorder, and we quickly worked through them. But then OCD symptoms appeared. Again, we worked through them in what seemed like record time. Irrational fears and intrusive, disturbing thoughts soon followed.

It was a few months before we understood that what she was actually suffering from was the aftermath of childhood trauma. She had what I now think of as free-floating anxiety – a form of anxiety that unconsciously attaches itself to other anxiety syndromes. A clue to understanding how to help her was that she had majored in psychology and knew about various mental illnesses. Her half-remembered knowledge of common anxiety disorders gave her free-floating anxiety a place to focus. Working through the trauma helped her resolve all her anxiety symptoms.

Stay tuned!

In this article, we’ve looked at how worrying and fear are different from anxiety disorders and have identified the main symptoms of common anxiety disorders. In Part II of this two-part series, we’ll go into the causes of anxiety disorders, their treatments, and some self-help practices people with anxiety disorders and their loved ones can do.

The post Anxiety Symptoms That Many People Overlook appeared first on Lifehack.

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2wpOCFl via Viral News HQ

[flowermandalas]

The Two Faces of “Anxious”

NOTE: This post first appeared on lifehack.org, where I am now a columnist.

“Anxious” is a word with two faces. Sometimes it means eager excitement. “I’m anxious to see you!” we say, as we get off the phone with a friend who’s coming to visit. The other side of “anxious” is a bit darker: “I’m anxious about that test,” we say, when we’re worried about the results. We call the second meaning “anxiety,” and most of us experience it from time to time.

In common usage, both meanings of “anxious” describe our responses to fleeting, time-limited events. But anxiety can also have a much more powerful grip on many of us. Without the right kind of attention, it can rule our lives.

I’m a psychotherapist in private practice north of Boston, Massachusetts, and I’ve worked with many clients who have anxiety. In this, the first of two articles on a psychotherapist’s views on anxiety, I’ll describe what anxiety is and how you can tell whether you or someone close to you is suffering from it. In Part II, I’ll go into its causes and treatments, as well as the best ways to help heal from anxiety disorders.

Anxiety is more common than people think

More people in the United States have anxiety disorders than any other mental illness. Anxiety affects more than 40 million adult Americans and about one in eight children. Some experts put the estimate much higher, because many people don’t know they have anxiety, are diagnosed incorrectly, or don’t seek help for it.

In my psychotherapy practice, nearly all my clients have some form of anxiety. Sometimes it’s the main reason they came to therapy, and sometimes it’s an underlying issue that shows up after we’ve handled the immediate reason they came for help.

Only about one-third of people who have anxiety disorders seek treatment.

Many anxious people know they have anxiety, but many more do not. They think catastrophizing, expecting the worst, worrying about what people think of them, or staying up late at night worrying about just about everything is normal.

It feels normal because that’s what they’ve been used to most of their lives – but it doesn’t have to be. Most people with an anxiety disorder can overcome it with treatment, support, and self-help strategies.

The difference between feeling worried and having anxiety

An anxiety disorder is different from feeling worried or being afraid. Worries about new or uncertain situations are normal, and feeling afraid in potentially dangerous situations is not only normal, but can sometimes save your life. Worrying about how you will perform on an exam might motivate you to study harder. Worrying about an erratic driver in front of you might help you drive more defensively. Feeling fearful about driving on a winding road in a storm might get you to wait for safer weather conditions.

Also, not everybody who worries a lot has an anxiety disorder. You might feel anxious because of too much work, too much stress, too little sleep, too much coffee, or low blood sugar.

The biggest distinction between normal worry or fear and anxiety disorders is that anxiety disorders involve some form of chronic anxiety, and the anxiety interferes with normal functioning.

7 specific anxiety disorders

There are several kinds of anxiety disorders, and they each look and feel different from one another. One person might have intense panic, another might avoid social situations, another might be unreasonably frightened by dogs, and someone else might worry about nearly everything.

All anxiety disorders share a persistent fear or worry in situations where most people would not be afraid. Specific anxiety disorders have other, specific symptoms.

1. Social Phobia

People with social phobias are afraid of embarrassment or judgement in social situations and may blush, feel tongue-tied, go blank, have rapid heart rate, or show other signs of anxiety in those situations. They will avoid social situations whenever possible.

2. Special Phobias

People with special phobias might be unreasonably afraid of animals such as dogs or spiders, natural events like storms or lightning, heights, open spaces, enclosed spaces, and other parts of the normal world. They may go to extremes to avoid these things.

3. Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) can include feeling nervous most of the time, a sense of impending doom, feeling helpless, rapid breathing, increased heart rate, sweating, trembling, a queasy feeling, and tension in the neck, shoulders, or both.

4. Acute Stress Disorder and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Both of these anxiety disorders sometimes occur after people have witnessed or experienced a physical threat. Symptoms include disturbing memories, flashbacks of the event, trouble sleeping or concentrating, and feeling either tense or numb. Acute Stress Disorder symptoms begin within a month of the traumatic event, while PTSD symptoms typically begin later. Symptoms can last for many years without treatment.

5. Panic Disorder

People with panic disorder have unexpected, severe anxiety attacks during which they are afraid they might die, pass out, or that they are suffocating. They often avoid places where panic attacks occur, which can lead to agoraphobia.

6. Hypochondria

People with hypochondria (now called Illness Anxiety Disorder) worry about having illnesses they probably don’t have. They catastrophize minor or imagined symptoms into a worst-case scenario. For example, they may be convinced that a headache means they have a fatal brain tumor.

7. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Sufferers may check obsessively, count when counting is unnecessary, and in general do ritualized behaviors. They feel unbearably anxious if they do not perform these rituals.

The most common anxiety disorders, in approximately this order, are: Social Phobia, Specific Phobias, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Acute and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders, Panic Disorder, Hypochondria, and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

In my practice, I most often encounter Generalized Anxiety Disorder and PTSD, though I have also had many clients with Panic Disorder, Hypochondria, Social Anxiety Disorder, and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Sometimes, people come in with more than one anxiety disorder. Hypochondria and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, for example, often show up in the same person, as do Social Anxiety Disorder and perfectionism which, though not an “official” anxiety disorder, contributes greatly to most forms of anxiety.

Signs of anxiety disorders

If you identify with any of the following symptoms, you might be dealing with an anxiety disorder.

You’re almost always worried or on edge.

You have irrational fears that you just can’t shake.

You’re often afraid that bad things will happen if you don’t do things in a particular way.

You avoid everyday situations or activities because they make you anxious.

You have sudden, unpredictable attacks of heart-pounding panic.

You almost always expect the worst.

You have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep.

Your muscles almost always feel tense.

You often feel overwhelmed.

You expect more from yourself than most people do

You tend to focus on your health and personal problems more than other things in your life.

Your anxiety interferes with work, school, or family life.

You have one or more of the following physical symptoms: pounding heart, sweating when you’re not exercising or in a warm place, headaches, frequent upset stomach or diarrhea, dizziness, shortness of breath, shaking or trembling.

Some anxiety disorders are harder to spot

In my experience with psychotherapy clients, PTSD is usually the most difficult to spot because its symptoms don’t always cleanly match the standard definition. PTSD can look like depression, several other forms of anxiety disorder, ADHD, or a combination of mental illnesses.

An example: I once worked with a client who seemed to cycle through several anxiety disorders within a few months. She first displayed typical signs of panic disorder, and we quickly worked through them. But then OCD symptoms appeared. Again, we worked through them in what seemed like record time. Irrational fears and intrusive, disturbing thoughts soon followed.

It was a few months before we understood that what she was actually suffering from was the aftermath of childhood trauma. She had what I now think of as free-floating anxiety – a form of anxiety that unconsciously attaches itself to other anxiety syndromes. A clue to understanding how to help her was that she had majored in psychology and knew about various mental illnesses. Her half-remembered knowledge of common anxiety disorders gave her free-floating anxiety a place to focus. Working through the trauma helped her resolve all her anxiety symptoms.

Stay tuned!

In this article, we’ve looked at how worrying and fear are different from anxiety disorders and have identified the main symptoms of common anxiety disorders. In Part II of this two-part series, we’ll go into the causes of anxiety disorders, their treatments, and some self-help practices people with anxiety disorders and their loved ones can do.

P.S. If you find what you read here helpful, please forward it to others who might, too. Or click one of the buttons below.

Books: Paths to Wholeness: Fifty-Two Flower Mandalas 52 (more) Flower Mandalas: An Adult Coloring Book for Inspiration and Stress Relief 52 Flower Mandalas: An Adult Coloring Book for Inspiration and Stress Relief Paths to Wholeness: Selections (free eBook)

Copyright 2017, David J. Bookbinder http://ift.tt/2oskRQ1 http://ift.tt/2ospoC2 http://ift.tt/2osp7Pj

from The Two Faces of “Anxious”

[trendingnewsb]

Anxiety Symptoms That Many People Overlook

“Anxious” is a word with two faces. Sometimes it means eager excitement. “I’m anxious to see you!” we say, as we get off the phone with a friend who’s coming to visit. The other side of “anxious” is a bit darker: “I’m anxious about that test,” we say, when we’re worried about the results. We call the second meaning “anxiety,” and most of us experience it from time to time.

In common usage, both meanings of “anxious” describe our responses to fleeting, time-limited events. But anxiety can also have a much more powerful grip on many of us. Without the right kind of attention, it can rule our lives.

I’m a psychotherapist in private practice north of Boston, Massachusetts, and I’ve worked with many clients who have anxiety. In this, the first of two articles on a psychotherapist’s views on anxiety, I’ll describe what anxiety is and how you can tell whether you or someone close to you is suffering from it. In Part II, I’ll go into its causes and treatments, as well as the best ways to help heal from anxiety disorders.

Anxiety is more common than people think

More people in the United States have anxiety disorders than any other mental illness. Anxiety affects more than 40 million adult Americans and about one in eight children. Some experts put the estimate much higher, because many people don’t know they have anxiety, are diagnosed incorrectly, or don’t seek help for it.

In my psychotherapy practice, nearly all my clients have some form of anxiety. Sometimes it’s the main reason they came to therapy, and sometimes it’s an underlying issue that shows up after we’ve handled the immediate reason they came for help.

Only about one-third of people who have anxiety disorders seek treatment.

Many anxious people know they have anxiety, but many more do not. They think catastrophizing, expecting the worst, worrying about what people think of them, or staying up late at night worrying about just about everything is normal.

It feels normal because that’s what they’ve been used to most of their lives – but it doesn’t have to be. Most people with an anxiety disorder can overcome it with treatment, support, and self-help strategies.

The difference between feeling worried and having anxiety

An anxiety disorder is different from feeling worried or being afraid. Worries about new or uncertain situations are normal, and feeling afraid in potentially dangerous situations is not only normal, but can sometimes save your life. Worrying about how you will perform on an exam might motivate you to study harder. Worrying about an erratic driver in front of you might help you drive more defensively. Feeling fearful about driving on a winding road in a storm might get you to wait for safer weather conditions.

Also, not everybody who worries a lot has an anxiety disorder. You might feel anxious because of too much work, too much stress, too little sleep, too much coffee, or low blood sugar.

The biggest distinction between normal worry or fear and anxiety disorders is that anxiety disorders involve some form of chronic anxiety, and the anxiety interferes with normal functioning.

7 specific anxiety disorders

There are several kinds of anxiety disorders, and they each look and feel different from one another. One person might have intense panic, another might avoid social situations, another might be unreasonably frightened by dogs, and someone else might worry about nearly everything.

All anxiety disorders share a persistent fear or worry in situations where most people would not be afraid. Specific anxiety disorders have other, specific symptoms.

1. Social Phobia

People with social phobias are afraid of embarrassment or judgement in social situations and may blush, feel tongue-tied, go blank, have rapid heart rate, or show other signs of anxiety in those situations. They will avoid social situations whenever possible.

2. Special Phobias

People with special phobias might be unreasonably afraid of animals such as dogs or spiders, natural events like storms or lightning, heights, open spaces, enclosed spaces, and other parts of the normal world. They may go to extremes to avoid these things.

3. Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) can include feeling nervous most of the time, a sense of impending doom, feeling helpless, rapid breathing, increased heart rate, sweating, trembling, a queasy feeling, and tension in the neck, shoulders, or both.

4. Acute Stress Disorder and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Both of these anxiety disorders sometimes occur after people have witnessed or experienced a physical threat. Symptoms include disturbing memories, flashbacks of the event, trouble sleeping or concentrating, and feeling either tense or numb. Acute Stress Disorder symptoms begin within a month of the traumatic event, while PTSD symptoms typically begin later. Symptoms can last for many years without treatment.

5. Panic Disorder

People with panic disorder have unexpected, severe anxiety attacks during which they are afraid they might die, pass out, or that they are suffocating. They often avoid places where panic attacks occur, which can lead to agoraphobia.

6. Hypochondria

People with hypochondria (now called Illness Anxiety Disorder) worry about having illnesses they probably don’t have. They catastrophize minor or imagined symptoms into a worst-case scenario. For example, they may be convinced that a headache means they have a fatal brain tumor.

7. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Sufferers may check obsessively, count when counting is unnecessary, and in general do ritualized behaviors. They feel unbearably anxious if they do not perform these rituals.

The most common anxiety disorders, in approximately this order, are: Social Phobia, Specific Phobias, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Acute and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders, Panic Disorder, Hypochondria, and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

In my practice, I most often encounter Generalized Anxiety Disorder and PTSD, though I have also had many clients with Panic Disorder, Hypochondria, Social Anxiety Disorder, and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Sometimes, people come in with more than one anxiety disorder. Hypochondria and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, for example, often show up in the same person, as do Social Anxiety Disorder and perfectionism which, though not an “official” anxiety disorder, contributes greatly to most forms of anxiety.

Signs of anxiety disorders

If you identify with any of the following symptoms, you might be dealing with an anxiety disorder.

You’re almost always worried or on edge.

You have irrational fears that you just can’t shake.

You’re often afraid that bad things will happen if you don’t do things in a particular way.

You avoid everyday situations or activities because they make you anxious.

You have sudden, unpredictable attacks of heart-pounding panic.

You almost always expect the worst.

You have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep.

Your muscles almost always feel tense.

You often feel overwhelmed.

You expect more from yourself than most people do

You tend to focus on your health and personal problems more than other things in your life.

Your anxiety interferes with work, school, or family life.

You have one or more of the following physical symptoms: pounding heart, sweating when you’re not exercising or in a warm place, headaches, frequent upset stomach or diarrhea, dizziness, shortness of breath, shaking or trembling.

Some anxiety disorders are harder to spot

In my experience with psychotherapy clients, PTSD is usually the most difficult to spot because its symptoms don’t always cleanly match the standard definition. PTSD can look like depression, several other forms of anxiety disorder, ADHD, or a combination of mental illnesses.

An example: I once worked with a client who seemed to cycle through several anxiety disorders within a few months. She first displayed typical signs of panic disorder, and we quickly worked through them. But then OCD symptoms appeared. Again, we worked through them in what seemed like record time. Irrational fears and intrusive, disturbing thoughts soon followed.

It was a few months before we understood that what she was actually suffering from was the aftermath of childhood trauma. She had what I now think of as free-floating anxiety – a form of anxiety that unconsciously attaches itself to other anxiety syndromes. A clue to understanding how to help her was that she had majored in psychology and knew about various mental illnesses. Her half-remembered knowledge of common anxiety disorders gave her free-floating anxiety a place to focus. Working through the trauma helped her resolve all her anxiety symptoms.

Stay tuned!

In this article, we’ve looked at how worrying and fear are different from anxiety disorders and have identified the main symptoms of common anxiety disorders. In Part II of this two-part series, we’ll go into the causes of anxiety disorders, their treatments, and some self-help practices people with anxiety disorders and their loved ones can do.

The post Anxiety Symptoms That Many People Overlook appeared first on Lifehack.

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2wpOCFl via Viral News HQ