#it makes me really sad when people are mean to elders for no reason

[caffeinatedopossum]

I hate that people associate being old with being bigoted, I actually love old people so much

[sugarushwriting]

ot7 vampire enhypen part (four)

back to school after ni-ki fudged up

ni-ki meets a stranger who happens to know his secrets

you also meet this stranger who has you questioning the boys and the situation

nsfw - towards the end

please comment share and reblog! but please don’t repost or translate!!

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

you walked on to campus monday morning and everyone acted like last week didn’t happen. the girl was doing better, can’t remember what happen, and the cops never found the culprit.

well, you were looking the culprit in the eyes right now as he was getting a lecture from his two elders.

“you may have classes without us, but you are to be home before 5 pm. all your classes end by 3. if we catch you one on one with any human, we will find a way to get you your own babysitter.” jay ranted to the youngest.

ni-ki nodded. “i understand and i won’t fuck up again, i promise.”

“don’t make a promise you may not be able to keep.” sunghoon stated.

“come on ni-ki, i will walk you to class. my first class isn’t until 11.” you said with a smile.

“and don’t be late.” jay pointed a finger at you. you stuck your tongue out.

linking arms with ni-ki you walked him to his first class which was at 9. it was currently 8:47 am.

ni-ki sighed. “will i ever have their trust?”

you sighed as well. “yes, but it’ll take awhile, okay? just give them time. they just worry and are hard on you because they care.”

while walking to class with ni-ki you noticed a girl with blonde hair watching the both of you.

“who’s that?” you asked.

ni-ki looked over to where you were looking, and shrugged. “dunno, i think she’s in a class or 2 of mine. haven’t really interacted with her. don’t know her name.”

you smiled, “well she’s really pretty.”

ni-ki deeply chuckled, “no fraternizing with humans, remember?”

“i mean you can talk to her, just not alone, okay?” you stopped in front of ni-ki’s class building and patted his shoulders. “do good in class. learn something!”

ni-ki groaned and you happily skipped off.

once you were gone, ni-ki walked into the building, and soon the blonde girl was beside him, cutting him off as she stood in front of him.

“i know what you are, blood sucker. and i know what you did.” she smirked and walked off towards class.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

meanwhile when close to 11 came, you made it to the class jay was a teaching assistant for, and just on time. you sat in the back while 96% of the girls in the class sat up front. mainly to ogle jay.

“we’ve missed this class!” one girl shouted.

“i was so sad when classes got canceled.” another shouted.

one girl argued, “it was for our safety though! i hope that creep is found!”

your heart sank knowing they were talking about ni-ki. jay and sunghoon had warned you and the other boys, people will be talking and saying rude things, but to not take it personally or say anything aloud.

“let’s get class started, shall we?” the professor of the class cleared his throat and began his lecture. as the girls attention was glued to jay and his jawline, jays attention was glued to you as you focused on the lecture.

jay hates the fact you don’t make flirty eyes with him in class, but you told him and the other guys, your studies come first. they respected you for that.

class ended 50 minutes later, and your next class wasn’t until 2, so you agreed to meet your roommate for lunch.

without bothering to say goodbye to jay, since he was busy with the girl students in class, you made your way towards the student center where most of the food options were.

while walking down the path you saw a familiar blonde from earlier. and once again, she was staring at you.

you walked up to her as other students passed, going along their day. “is there a reason you keep staring at me?”

the girl smiled and stuck out her hand. “im eunchae.”

“im—,”

“i know who you are.” she cut you off and stood up. “i also know what you are to those blood suckers.”

as eunchae went to walk away you grabbed her hand, “wait—,”

“don’t worry im not going to tell anyone.” she shook her head. “just know those boys don’t care about you. they give you precious attention now, but what happens in a few years? you get older and what, they stay the same age? they won’t have you as their precious feeding tube much longer. they’ll throw you to the curb sooner or later.”

you were too stunned to speak, and eunchae walked off. when you came to your senses, you walked to meet your roommate for food.

“hey, are you okay?” she asked and you mindlessly nodded, picking at your food. you were currently rethinking, and over analyzing your conversation with eunchae.

what would happen once they were done? you did get older and they wouldn’t, right? you weren’t their first human to primarily feed on and you won’t be the last. how many others have jay and sunghoon roped into this? how many others did they call love and baby doll and treated so well? would they erase your memory once they were done? would they just pack up and leave without telling you? would they kill you?

your mind raced and you felt so sick. “i think im gonna skip my 2 pm class. im not feeling well.” you stated while packing up. you would take the remainder of your food with you.

your roommate looked at you with concern. “okay, get some rest!”

you nodded with all your things and walked to the one place you might get answers. the guys house. and with them all being on campus until at least 4, you would have time to snoop for answers.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

ni-ki was walking on campus when he spotted the blonde girl from earlier. he’s had two classes with her and each time she’s ignored him.

she was lying on a blanket on the grass reading as ni-ki walked up.

“we need to talk.”

“aren’t you not supposed to be around humans alone?”

ni-ki looked around. technically they weren’t alone, there were other students scattered about. “is this a test?”

the girl closed her book and sat up from her lying position. “a test?”

“did jay or sunghoon put you up to this?” ni-ki asked annoyed. did they really not trust him that much?

the girl shook her head but patted the spot next to her. “sit down riki.”

ni-ki’s jaw nearly hit the ground. riki was his birth name, but he always went by ni-ki. only certain people know his name is riki or even call him that.

ni-ki sat down on the blanket.

“im eunchae.” she held out her hand and ni-ki shook it. “and no, the guys didn’t put me up to anything.”

“then how—?” ni-ki couldn’t even finish his sentence as he was so confused. eunchae laughed.

“let’s just say, im not a vampire, but a supernatural creature as well.”

ni-ki’s eyes went wide as he looked at eunchae. “what kind of supernatural creature?”

“ever heard of a seraphim?” eunchae asked. “we’re also known as fallen angels.”

“oh.” ni-ki said. “what is it that you do?”

eunchae smiled, “maybe i can tell you that later tonight.”

ni-ki frowned, “i have to be home by 5.”

“yikes they put you on that much of a strict curfew because you lost control and fed on a human?” eunchae faked gasped. “just ignore it.”

“i—i can’t.”

“what are you gonna do, suck my blood? i promise my blood will not taste good.” eunchae said and stood up grabbing her book. ni-ki followed.

eunchae added, “i’ll also make sure you don’t feed on any innocent people.” eunchae promised with her hand up and her big eyes round and her lashes batting.

“you aren’t a good influence.”

“im a fallen angel riki. and i never said i would be a good influence.”

“how can i trust you’re telling the truth?”

“you can’t, that’s the thrilling the part.”

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

you arrived to the guys house and immediately went up to the library. the library had old books so it had to have something from jay and sunghoons past.

you searched and searched the shelves, not finding anything much helpful. you found a few books on the lore of vampires and made note to look at those later.

your attention turned to the desk. as you opened the drawers, you found a photo book. bingo.

but as you opened it, it was empty.

“love, why aren’t you in class?” at the sound of jay’s unexpected voice, you literally screamed. your heart rate was definitely up, but you took a few deep breaths.

“i wasn’t feeling well. so i came here, to my favorite place.” you smiled hoping jay bought your lie. since your heart rate was already up from being startled, he wouldn’t notice the difference because of your lie.

jays eyes soften. “aw love come here.” he waved for you to leave the comfort of the library into his awaiting arms.

you gave him a hug in the threshold. he smelt so good. you sighed into his chest. “wait, how did you know i wasn’t in class?”

“i went to look for you. i know we aren’t to interfere with your studies so i was gonna ask if i could feed before or after class.”

“how was you going to feed before my class?”

“take you to my office.” jay smirked and your face felt hot.

“well im here now.”

jay frowned, “but you aren’t feeling well.”

you shook your head, “im a bit better. honestly i just didn’t want to go to class and hear more people talk about what happened.”

jay held you closer, rubbing your back. he kissed the side of your head. “thanks for caring about us love, but people will talk, okay? we’ll get through it.”

you nodded and jay led you to his room. “are you sure you’re up for it, love?”

you nodded, and took your shirt off throwing it somewhere in his room then began unbuttoning your jeans.

“hey!” jay scolded. “undressing you is one of my favorite things.” he pouted and you laughed taking your hands off your button.

jay took his time undressing you, kissing every inch of your body, giving light nibbles up your thighs, stomach and chest.

his lips made its way to your lips for a deep and slow kiss. jay was always so gentle and romantic and sometimes you wish he wasn’t. you always wondered deep inside if he had a hardcore dominant side of him.

when you two made eye contact, you asked, “jay, why are you always so gentle with me?”

jay smiled, “honestly, because if anyone of us goes full force you genuinely may not be able to walk for a while.”

“what if that’s something i want?” you teased.

jay shook his head with a smile, “maybe on a day where you don’t have class for the next few days, okay?”

your hands ran through jays hair, “what’s the most public place you’ve had sex? i mean you’ve been a vampire for so long, there has to be somewhere interesting you’ve done it.”

“penthouse balcony.” jay replied. before you could reply further, jays fingers snuck down to your core, and entered your pussy, earning a low moan from your mouth.

he kissed and sucked your neck while his 2 fingers entered in and out of you, all while his thumb laid pressure and lazy circles on your clit. he had to get you pretty ready for him as although jay didn’t have inches, but he sure enough had thickness to his cock.

“so wet for me.” jay whispered in your ear and pulled is fingers out when he thought you were wet enough for him. giving you one last kiss, he aligned himself with your entrance and slowly entered you. you immediately felt the stretch, as he placed your legs on either side of his waist so you could feel him deeper. “i don’t think you’re ready for the damage i could do to you in bed, love.”

that earned another moan from you, “yes—yes i could.” you stuttered as jay was rocking his hips to yours, sounds of skin slapping the only noise to be heard.

jay sat up so he could hold your legs straight up, them vertical against his chest. this position offered a new feeling and ways for him to satisfy you, and he picked up the pace, your ass becoming red with the speed of his thighs hitting them.

spews of profanities left your lips at this new sensation and feeling. you loved it. your hands gripped the sheets to his bed, as jay held you in place. you were close and jay could feel it.

he pulled out, you hissed at the loss of contact, almost in tears when jay helped you get on your hands and knees for him to fuck you from behind. no warning, he bottomed out, a louder than usual moan leaving your mouth, the front of his body connecting with your back, and his lips finding your neck, his favorite spot.

his vampire teeth sunk into your skin, and you let out a moan of pain followed by a groan of pleasure, groaning jays name over and over, encouraging him to pick up his pace and chase both of your orgasms. soon, you felt jay release his come into you, and he slowed down, his vampire teeth retracting as he licked where he fed.

you were so thankful that although he could come, you couldn’t get pregnant since his sperm was dead.

you collapsed on your front on the bed, trying to catch your breath. although you know jay didn’t go full out, he did go harder than usual. jay rubbed your back, his breath already returning to normal, as he put on pants and covered you up with his sheets and comforter.

he looked down so he could face you, “are you okay?”

you nodded. once your brain fog from the orgasm started to go away, you remembered the whole reason why you were even there.

you turned around to face jay who was sitting on his bed next to you scrolling on his phone.

“jay?”

“mhm?” he hummed and looked to give you his attention.

“what happens when yall are done with me?”

jay pouted in confusion. “love, what do you mean?”

you sighed and sat up, covering yourself with the sheets. “i mean when you all are done using me as a human blood bank. do yall kick me to the curb? pack up and leave without telling me? kill me?”

“love, where is this coming from?”

“don’t—don’t call me love right now.”

“where is this coming from? why all of a sudden are you thinking about this?”

“jay, i gotta think about my future, okay? unlike you all, i get older, okay. i will eventually meet the love of my life, get married, have kids,”

“absolutely not.” jay stated, his tone darker than usual. when you looked him in the eyes you realized his eyes were red.

“jay—,”

“you belong to us and only us.”

“jay that’s not fair,” you said, “i can’t be at your beck and call.”

“yes you can and you will.”

“what happens when yall are done with me?”

“we won’t be.”

“then are you gonna turn me to keep me young?” you argued.

jays eyes went back to normal and his face softened, “no. i don’t turn people unless their life depends on it.”

you got up quickly from the bed, “jay, this makes no sense! how are you gonna say i belong to yall only, but not tell me what my future will look like?”

jay tried to reach for you but you pulled away. was you being unreasonable? you didn’t know and you didn’t care. you just know eunchae had you thinking more about this situation you got yourself in.

you looked around for your clothes, and immediately started to get dressed. “i need to go. i need to go home and think.”

“love,”

“NO!” you yelled to stop jay. “just no.”

you finished dressing as jay watched. your belongings were in the library so you walked down the hall to grab your bag and uneaten food. jay was following you around the house.

“im leaving. i don’t think this is a good idea anymore.” you said as you walked down the steps and that perked jays ears as well as sunghoon who happened to be listening.

“baby doll,” sunghoon began and it slightly startled you as you turned to look at both men. they both looked hurt, but angry at the same time.

“love, you belong to us, end of story,”

“not end of story jay, fuck you!”

“baby doll, behave.”

“and fuck you too sunghoon!”

you stormed out of the house, hearing jay tell sunghoon “let her go, for now.”

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

you held back tears as you walked around campus. you weren’t ready to go back to your dorm just in case one of the guys were waiting for you.

but it wouldn’t matter, they could probably track you by your scent. they’ve always said you were different.

“did they hurt you?” for the what, third time today? a voice startled you.

you looked behind you and saw eunchae. “no.” you shook your head then shrugged, “i don’t know.”

“come with me, i have some girls you might want to meet.”

you wiped your tears, “huh?”

“trust me.” eunchae smiled. “plus i think the person i arranged to meet at 5 won’t show up.”

ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

[creative-kny-fics]

Ler!gyomei and lee!tomioka?

Yes, because Gyomei deserves the spotlight (I feel like he is an underrated character because he is not attractive, but for me he is 🛐)

Ler: Gyomei Himejima

Lee: Giyuu Tomioka

Is it necessary to see people to know what they really are? For Gyomei it wasn't, people gained his trust based on their "aura".

Since he lost his sight, Gyomei didn't see people with his real eyes, he saw them with the eyes of his heart and lately there was someone who had caught his attention.

'Tomioka? It's you?' 'How did you know it was me?'

'I figured, would you like to sit?', Giyuu mumbled but he agreed and yes, he was that person.

He hadn't attracted his attention romantically, so in what way? When Giyuu joined the corps, he stood next to the elder and being close, Gyomei couldn't help crying, but it wasn't happiness, he felt Giyuu's sadness, a sadness that he disguised under a cold and distant countenance.

'How was your day?' 'Fine, I guess. By the way, I don't know if your crow warned you, but later we will have a mission together'

Gyomei put his hands together and nodded, he had no problem, he got along quite well with them.

But when Giyuu left his side, ready to leave, he stopped him, telling him to sit down again since he wanted to talk to him. 'Tomioka, why do you always try to escape from us?'

'What do you mean by "escape from you"?'

'Every time we try to get close to you, you act strange. I don't say it because you don't speak, but because you try to avoid us at all costs from getting close to you, why?', Giyuu didn't know what to say.

The "I'm not like you" came up again, if he had been talking to Sanemi, he would probably have a black eye or a bruise on his cheek a few seconds ago.

But with Gyomei everything was different, he didn't seem to judge him for anything and maybe that was why he talked to him a little more than with anyone else.

'You usually repeat that phrase, is there any meaning?' 'I think the sentence speaks for itself...'

'Not much, if you maybe specified a little about how you're not like us it might help. But judging by the feeling you give off, it's not because you wanted to be tall or maybe because you wanted to have some muscle mass, it's another reason... What is it?'

Giyuu didn't answer, he wasn't planning on doing so anyway, he knew that if he decided to answer or not answer, Gyomei would respect his decision and apologize for making him uncomfortable.

Although part of the barrier he had made crumbled when he felt a hug from the older man, that feeling was so comforting that he didn't even know how or when, but he began to cry silently. 'Sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?'

'N-no... It's just... I didn't expect it, that's all...' 'I'm sorry, you seemed to need it and that's why I did it, forgive me if I scared you or something', there was nothing to apologize, how could he get angry with someone like him?

Giyuu calmed down and the tears that rolled down his cheeks dried up, and what appeared in their place was a slight desire to share with Gyomei how he felt.

As soon as he realized his thoughts, he shook his head, trying to convince himself that if he did, he would make Gyomei cry and he didn't want to bear any more guilt, but it wasn't enough, again silent tears rolled down his cheeks, god, but what was happening to him?

'Are you sure there isn't something you want to talk to me about? If there is a problem, I can offer you a solution or advice. And if you want a second opinion, you could go to Oyakata-Sama, he will surely help you'

'... No need... I'll be fine...'

This was something that internally made Gyomei a little angry, he knew he couldn't force the people to tell their problems, but it made him angry to know that the person was hurting themselves by keeping what they felt.

He tried to convince him, not being so demanding, he tried to guess what could be what ailed him, some fight? Any failed missions? Any unrequited love?

'Himejima-San...' 'I understand, I'm sorry for...-'

'There is someone better than me who deserves to be here, he was at your level, I am not worthy nor do I deserve to be here with you', was all he said, it's probably been what he's heard Giyuu speak the most.

But who would that person be? He deduced that since that person was not there, he would have unfortunately died; it was common for people with potential to lose their lives at the hands of demons.

Still, if Giyuu was not "enough" or "does not have that person's level", he was now the one who had a high rank, he was a hashira and it is not something that easy, being there does not require money or status; requires effort, talent, skill, among others.

'If you didn't, how did you get this far? You also have the same talent as that person, you just don't accept it, you shouldn't compare yourself to other people, you won't amount to anything. Ignore those negative comments, both from people AND yours, you will see that you will feel better...'

'I have tried and I have failed. But still, there is some reason, he would be better than me. He wouldn't be acting this way, he would have been braver and would have said things head on, without crying, not like me'

'You see? Stop comparing yourself, each person has a different way of reacting to a situation. He may not have acted like that outwardly, but what about on the inside?'

Giyuu slapped himself, it was something Sabito would have done, or at least he slapped himself in his mind, Gyomei didn't let him do it.

This for Gyomei was the straw that broke the camel's back, he was no longer going to sit idly by; he was a patient man, but even those people have a limit and the slap that Giyuu wanted to give himself was the one that surpassed him.

'If Oyakata-Sama heard you talk about yourself like that, I'm sure he would do this', Giyuu didn't believe what he heard, Gyomei sounded angry.

"He would do this"? What was he referring to? Kagaya didn't seem like the type to shout or say hurtful words, based on that, what would be the most logical option?

'Gyomei!' 'Mmmm, so you are ticklish, that helps me a lot with this...'

He must have guessed and anticipated it, it was the most logical option after all. Although which option would be the best now?

He couldn't lie to him by saying that he wasn't ticklish but he shouldn't run away either, well, it's not a "should", but a "could", Giyuu couldn't take even 10 steps before Gyomei returns him to his place again.

'Nothing to say? So it's true, I recommend that you don't try to hold back, you'll only make things worse...' 'I-I... Mhmhmhmhm!!', but how stubborn.

Giyuu would never have let out a reaction like that, it wasn't like him, how did Gyomei do it?

Certainly, the older one had some experience taking care of children and that, apparently, was what Giyuu was to him, a child. 'Co-cohome on! T-this is hu-humiliahahating...!'

'It's not, there's no one around, it's just the two of us, so don't be afraid of someone showing up and finding you, even if that happens, I'll stop so you have some time to breathe and pretend like nothing happened' 'Bu-buhut...!'

Giyuu smiled when those hands that were gently tickling his neck began to move down.

Out of instinct, he tightened his arms around his torso, thus trapping Gyomei's fingers, who could have gotten out of that situation quickly, but a little teasing for Giyuu wouldn't be bad, would it?

'It must be a bad spot for you to have done that. When I tickled your neck, you didn't even try to wrinkle your neck or push me away'

'Sh-shuhut uhuhup...!! Ta-tahake your haha-hands out of my mhmhmhm armpits...!!'

'I would, but my fingers are trapped right here and unless you raise your arms, I won't be able to do anything, it's your decision Giyuu'

Giyuu wanted to scream, but he wouldn't, it would mean making things worse for him. If Gyomei kept lowering his fingers, he would have no escape, he didn't know how he had guessed just the right places to make him laugh.

First the sides of his neck, then knowing that making circles with his fingers in the hollows of his armpits would make Giyuu squeal, what was next?. 'I guess I'll try to free my fingers, it should be easy, maybe if I lower my fingers a little...'

'N-NO!' 'Hmmmm? Why not? You wanted me to take my fingers out of your armpits, that's what I'll do', Giyuu tried to plead with his eyes, but, well, you understand.

Those hands began to lower, some fingers found themselves "trapped" in the space between each of his ribs.

As if it were worse, Gyomei repeated the same movement, using his thumbs, he began to move them in circles on Giyuu's lower ribs, feeling how he began to kick. 'Well, it looks like I found a way out, are you happy with that?'

'N-NOHOHO!! STO-STOHOHOP!!' 'I can't stop, we've only just started the lesson. Today you will learn to have some self-love, starting with admitting that you have a very cute and contagious laugh'

It was going to be a long morning for Giyuu, but rest assured that he is in good hands

[generallemarc]

The following is something that hardly any "pro-Palestine" agitator is capable of

*Ahem*

Israel has done alot of objectively wrong things over the course of its history with Palestine, and that didn't magically go away in the past decade. It is a thoroughly paranoid state, and no matter how much that paranoia is justified by the existence of Hamas, Hezbollah and Iran it's no excuse for violating the civil rights of detainees, even if they're provably guilty of whatever crimes they've been accused of. Israel's air strikes in the current war have been too zealous, and there must be a certain point at which it would actually be less harmful in terms of civilian casualties to just send in the IDF on foot, and because of how utterly outmatched Hamas will be against professional soldiers, I feel as though that risk to the IDF ought to be taken for the sake of the innocent civilians who might be saved by it. Hamas isn't going to protect them by virtue of it being filled with genocidal monsters, and thus although it's unfair the onus is on Israel to do the job that the force that governs Gaza refuses to, or at least to try to.

See all of that? That was me being able to perceive and acknowledge reality even when it makes my side look bad. Because I see this war as a war, not a justification to start wishing death on millions. I see these civilians who've died for no reason as just that, instead of deserving of their fate for the crime of being born in the wrong country/to a family of the wrong faith or ethnicity. And I have the most basic of moral sensibilities to be able to look with that sight at all sides of a situation, and not just the ones that it's convenient to look at. But one thing I haven't seen is very many "pro-Palestine" people being able to admit to the observable reality of things like hostage taking, use of human shield tactics, and the fact that Hamas's charter brings up the Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion as if it were true. It's really sad that the last one has had to become my armor-piercing round, or rather sad that that's armor-piercing to their arguments and "Hamas are actively trying to commit genocide" isn't. But I guess that's just what it means to be a "progressive" these days.

[toutvatoujoursbien]

As an elder Millennial myself, I think the important lesson to take away from this is that there's no such thing as a feminist prince. A lot of fans projected Colin's qualities onto Luke to an inaccurate degree. He had a job to do on the press tour and all he had to do was try to match Nic's energy. I don't think he's as bad of a person as everyone's making him out to be, but I do think he has some serious blinders on and he's bonded with some people who ultimately aren't good for him. It's sad to see how something that could've been a huge launching pad ended up being a diving board that broke under him. (I also think the fandom is mad hypocritical and if they got even so much as a whiff of him being single, they'd change their tune really quickly and it'd be the Luke Love Train all over again.)

(My first ask! I feel like I've had a Tumblr rite of passage.)

Anon, you brought up a good point that I haven't covered. I do, personally, believe that a lot of the confused feelings and outrage over Luke and his actions stems from fan projection that got out of hand - not just with Luke/Colin, but also with Nicola/Penelope. To me, Luke's portrayal of Colin has been excellent - I think his version of Colin is both charming and easily excitable about gossip and niche subjects (I'll never get over the olive joke). He's also totally made for the female gaze, and even moreso because he just so happens to fall in love with his best friend, the perpetually overlooked and looked down upon wallflower Pen. He sees what's special about her and falls in love with her - which I think allowed the audience to wonder "If someone like Colin can love Pen, then perhaps I could have something similar." (That is a very, very basic, surface-level interpretation that I'm throwing out here.) Also, I think the constant reminders that Luke was the most like his character in Bton, as well as his behaviors during the press tour, meant that when the PR Stunt happened, it caused so many to go, "What the fuck?"

As for Nicola, just using myself as an example - and bear in mind that I am a cishet, female, elder Millenial - I connected with her as an actress first and then Pen second. I didn't "find my successful career path" until I was 31 myself - so I feel like I understand how much it means to her that she's really taking her rightful place in the spotlight now. I have so much to be thankful for where I am in life right now, but I also know I had to work my ass off for it and there was no safety net for me to fall back on. So to know how hard she's worked and how far she's come, I'm going be honest and potentially open myself up to criticism - I was honestly offended for her when everything kind of blew up in the fandom. Did she need me to be offended on her behalf? Of course not, but I needed the time and capacity to process what I was feeling and come to a better headspace. Even though I do ship Lukola, most of my bitter feelings at the time were around: I can't believe anyone would want to take away from all the work N has done over the past 6 months (and 2 years, if we're being honest, in regards to S3) by taking away from the premiere and making it about an alleged gf.

That was a very long-winded way of saying yes, I agree that some parasocial boundaries were blurred - most likely because of the absolutely crazy amount of content we were fed during the press tour - and projections, for lots of various reasons, occurred, so when the aforementioned crash in expectations happened (whether or not it's right or fair), it was a Big Hurt for many fans.

I think a lot of fans don't believe him to be a bad guy, just making some bad choices right now??? And even though intellectually, people understand that it's his life and therefore his choices, it's still be difficult to watch. I think I can also firmly say that many of us feel like a change to his friend group would be a smart move in the path forward - but again, our wants and wishes mean very little in reality.

It's sad to see how something that could've been a huge launching pad ended up being a diving board that broke under him.

When I tell you I physically winced while reading this sentence because oooouffff, but true. But, as others have pointed out, we don't know what he wants to do with his career. Maybe he was more ambitious and the jobs he was going for didn't pan out. Maybe he's still waiting for the right role to come along. Maybe he's perfectly happy doing Bton every 2 years (omg, freaking kill me with that longass timeframe). As previously stated, until he or his team make any sort of statement - all we can do is make chatter and noise.

(I also can totally see your last point. I would hope that for the fans like me, who don't put him on a pedestal but still really like and support him, this wouldn't be the case. But I've also see firsthand on Twitter those in the fandom would give him a free pass if he was single again 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm actually genuinely curious the demographics of those in the Lukola and Polin fandoms. It would be interesting to break down...)

Anyway, thank you for the ask! I hope my further ramblings made sense 😆

[aha-chuu]

It really frustrates me how HSR chose to dole out information in 1.2. Ofc, mystery is important and good! I don't need to know why Luocha is here or what he's up to, and Blade's past can remain vague rn that's fine.

My issue is Dan Heng/Dan Feng and how poorly they've explained the stakes of that situation.

Like, think about this:

Do Vidyadharas remember their past lives?

If so, how much do they remember?

If not usually, do the elders get that privelage?

If not at all, why are so many characters worried about Dan Heng being a criminal in a past life?

Does Dan Heng specifically remember his past life?

If not, how did he know how to break the seals?

If yes, can he only remember some things?

If he can remember everything, why is he lying about it?

Is he lying??

How do Vidyadhara powers work?

How does Dan Heng have high elder powers if Bailu is the new high elder?

Do the powers usually get passed down through past lives (so Feng -> Heng) or are they picked fresh every hatching rebirth (Feng -> Bailu)?

How did Feng's actions make all vidyadhara weaker?

What were the actual consequences of his actions?

How did Blade stabbing Heng give him the body & powers of Feng but not the memories/personality?

I wanna make it clear: not all of these need answers. But when it's all either poorly explained or straight up unclear, I find myself struggling to care about the dynamics at play. When JY is sad that Heng isn't Feng, should I feel sympathy that he can't let his friend go? Or, like so many characters say, are Heng and Feng much, much closer than Heng ever says? When the Xianzhou characters can't see past the rebirth thing, it implies stuff about the vidyadhara culture that should flip how we see it.

When Heng distances himself from Feng, we don't know if that's a reasonable thing (like, "guy you never met who looks like you committed a crime so ofc you're not responsible"), or if he's being insensitive ("you got blackout drunk and stabbed someone, but you don't remember now so you don't believe you should be held accountable"). There can be a middle ground in there, but what is the morality here? It might be grey, but I could form completely misguided opinions if I consider JY as rude now when Hoyo actually want us to think Heng is the problem.

It's really late but like. I think the 1.2 quest really needed a moment to explain some of the vocab (all that vidyadhara stuff gd) and to outline the characters' understanding of the context. If JY knows that vidyadhara can't remember past lives and knows that Dan Heng is no different, and that he and Feng are essentially different people, then how is any of his behaviour justified? I understand Blade not getting it (he's crazy), but JY is all over the place.

And as I think about it now, Dan Heng must remember being Feng! Like, he opens the seals for one, but he also recognises the Alchemy commission (and that it borders the vidyadhara realm) even though we know he only saw the inside of a cell during his time on the xianzhou as Dan Heng. So if he can remember then he's lying, but that would mean Hoyo really wants us to think he's not and it's like!! This is the sort of thing you kind of need an answer for.

They mention that Feng's rebirth got fucked up. Here's how you deal with confusion while maintaining mystery:

"usually vidyhadara can remember their past lives, but we fucked up this one so idk" "I don't remember" "shit"

"usually vidyhadara can't remember their past lives, but we fucked up this one so idk" "I don't remember" "cool but we can't trust that"

Like, it's also totally likely that this is answered in game. But I've watched multiple playthroughs at this point and most people I've seen don't know what's going on either.

Hoyo dumped a ton of terminology on us, introduced new factions to the enemy roster (and secret behind-the-scenes alliances between pre existing ones) and then said "here's a bunch of lore that the characters will be openly confused and contractadictory about". I'm starting to miss Paimon requiring simple summaries of every lore plot point in order for any dialogue to continue.

[thewertsearch]

Asks Comp 5/6

Just like John Cusack, hoo hoo hoo is a universal constant.

I was so excited for her conversations :( And thank you very much! This comic's a slippery one, but that's part of the fun!

I do like the idea of pairing every Homestuck ship with a political ideology. It'd be the perfect storm of discourse, from about five directions at once!

Thank you! I don't think I'll even be in the country for my birthday this time around, so it'll be a quiet celebration.

I think it could still fit as a kismesissitude, even if they aren't all that unfriendly with each other. After all, Karkat's antagonism towards John is only skin-deep, and wears off fast.

FEFERI: There's no reason to be scared! They are not as terrible as they look. FEFERI: When Derse is destroyed, I am going to go to sleep and prove it. FEFERI: I will prove it to you, and to them as well. KARKAT: THEM? FEFERI: Our new friends! [...]

Oh, that does make more sense. Dang, I really liked the idea that the Horrorterrors were scared of Players.

Karkat made S-Tier for a reason. He's on fire this Act, and it's been great to watch!

You don't even get to examine your surroundings!!

I'm even more glad now that I'm using Homestuck Collection. It's clear that I'd have missed a lot without it, and it's a sad state of affairs that the comic's official website seems to butcher it so badly. Definitely recommend checking out the Collection, if just to play the walkarounds yourself!

Underutilized aspects of the trolls: Feferi Edition! [...] I do have to say that, when I think about her, I don't generally remember the Horrorterror connection. But Gl'bgolyb is a Horrorterror, after all. Feferi may be legitimately bubbly and sweet, but of the two races she is meant to unite, it might just be the Horrors and Humans. She's an eldritch Disney princess. Remember that now. ~LOSS (19/5/23)

Does that make Gl'bgolyb her Fairy Elder Godmother?

Ugh, tell me about it. It looks normal when the post is in my drafts, but breaks when I publish it.

I could go back and fix each post manually, but I don't have the time or the patience. Maybe I'll write a script to do it when I release Wertsearch: The Director's Cut.

Thanks! I've had Cat send a transcript over, and I've been copying it for quotes. There was a risk of mild spoilers if I accidentally read ahead, but if it means I can stop quoting entire conversations manually, I'll happily take that chance.

Damn it! There goes my Sollux Was Swapped At Birth theory.

I like these ideas! It's fun to speculate about what our species 'thing' would be, since we don't have any alien species to compare ourselves to IRL.

The idea of NPCs as Player templates is awesome, too. That implies an absolutely wild session in Sburb's past, featuring the Sleuths, the Midnight Crew and the Exile squad as Players.

What would Sburb even look like without Carapacians? Would the chess match in Skaia still exist, just without sentient pieces? I kind of love this idea.

Yeah, it's always nice when a story's really kicked into gear.

Beginnings and endings are difficult, and I usually enjoy the middle of a story more than either. By my count, we're about one-third of the way through Homestuck, and it's definitely found itself.

Thanks! I have a couple of ideas about which of my ships will be supported by canon, and which won't - but we shall see what develops. The comic might surprise me!

Canon Equius design.

It's a big question, and I don't know if I can fully answer this one, given how much of Sburb is still shrouded in mystery.

That said, the first thing I'd change is how Players are assigned. Instead of creating people who have no choice but to participate, I'd look for volunteers in the planets I've seeded. If Players have to be born in the Veil, then those volunteers would have their timelines rewritten, retroactively turning them into meteor babies - but only after they've volunteered for the role.

Also - does a session have to destroy the planet it's seeded on? If it was me in charge, I'd redirect the Reckoning's portals somewhere else. Literally anywhere else, actually. As far as I can tell, the only reason they were pointed towards Earth in the first place was for thematic reasons. The Sallyverse has different themes.

Yep. No special reason why - I've just been pretty busy lately, especially on the weekends. They've also been rolling over onto Mondays more often, too.

I get to 'em when I get to 'em - but I always get to them in the end.

Ooh, that's a deep cut. Possibly coincidental, but I wouldn't be too sure - I wouldn't put anything past Hussie.

I've heard of Higurashi, but I know very little about it. It is my tenuous understanding that it's a murder mystery starring several wealthy families - or is that its sister story, Umineko?

I don't want to look them up, because I might actually check them out at some point, and it is apparently very important to go in unspoiled. Potential future liveblog material, indeed.

I've speculated that the Knight is a protector class - and maybe Knights also protect themselves, hiding behind a particular trait or emotion which serves as their 'shield'.

Puréed puppet, unfortunately.

Now that I've seen all the troll typing quirks, I'm pretty sure I've actually encountered some of these people in the wild! I've definitely seen Terezi's leetspeak, or something very similar, on an anime forum or two.

[fire-lizard-ro]

HSR Theories pt. 1

This post is more for me than anything else.

Because I need to write these down so I can keep track of my current theories.

I'm SUPER into HSR theory crafting and lore.

So if you are also into that, then have a peek at this, I suppose. Fair warning- It's going to be a bit all over the place.

I'll be adding stuff later, because I don't have the energy to right now.

Theories under the cut for spoilers. Like- MAJOR spoilers.

Blade, Dan Heng, and Jing Yuan

So these are theories I've had for weeks, now. And I was correct about Blade being immortal and seeking his own end, so that's already a win.

From what I understand, Blade, Dan Heng, Jing Yuan, and Jingliu are four of the five members of the High-Cloud Quintet.

All four of them wear a red ribbon. Likely to symbolize the bond they once shared. Jing Yuan's is in his hair. Dan Heng's is on his spear, Cloud Piercer. Jingliu and Blade's are on the back of their clothes. I wonder if those two share the spot they put their ribbons for a reason...

It's somewhat sad, because just like in Jing Yuan's voiceline "About Self" he and the rest of the High-Cloud Quintet all walk very different paths now. "My past enemies are either dead or captured, and my past friends are scattered to the winds..." Jing Yuan is an Arbiter-General of the Xianzhou Alliance who must uphold his duty, Blade is a Stellaron Hunter who is wanted dead or alive by the IPC, and Dan Heng is running from a past he doesn’t remember as a Nameless of the Astral Express. Jingliu is... well? She's alive, as we've seen in Yanqing's companion mission. But we aren't really sure what she's been doing all this time or how she's alive. Just that she's looking for the man who now calls himself "Blade".

I'm almost certain that the three people that Blade talks about is Jingliu, Dan Heng, and himself. Jing Yuan is not one of the choices since Blade has already said himself that "you are not one of them, Jing Yuan." Since Blade, Jing Yuan, Jingliu, Dan Heng, and one other person are all part of the High-Cloud Quintet... Of five people, three must pay the price. The Quintet is a group of five people who were all connected.... quintet, literally meaning five.... It makes a lil too much sense to me... And since Blade is seeking his own end, it makes it more of a possibility.

Also- About five star Dan Heng/Vidyadhara Dan Heng... We already know he's Imbibitor Lunae. Now about the sedition of Imbibitor Lunae. I'm almost certain that Blade's immortality has something to do with Dan Heng.

I think that's why Dan Heng was banished from the Xianzhou Alliance. Something to do with breaking a law among the Vidyadhara that has to do with the mara struck, perhaps. Because in the 1.2 livestream, they confirmed that Blade has mara in him and that it flares up and Kafka is able to use her ability to keep it at bay.

Remember that one of the quest NPCs we see a lot for Luofu quests said that the Vidyadhara have different rules than them. But Imbibitor Lunae was the High Elder of the Vidyadhara and the Luofu. But laws and whatnot with the mara struck have to have worse consequences...

I also think that Dan Heng had a cycle of rebirth (or whatever the Vidyadhara call it) while imprisoned before being sent away. Based on some of the things he's said in the story AND based on Dan Heng's voice line "About Self: Past". "I come from an alliance, and was born on a gran and beautiful ship that I barely had the chance to see... I can never return."

"barely had the chance to see", huh?

AND in the new version trailer, we hear Jing Yuan ask, probably Dan Heng, "Has coming here triggered your memory?"

We already know that with the Vidyadhara, when they have a cycle of rebirth and return to being an egg to hatch into their new self... They no longer have the memories of the previous cycle.

"The power to turn into dragons was a rare inheritance passed down only to those who could successfully complete numerous rites. A long-lived species, Vidyadhara molt after living for centuries, repairing their bodies then hatching anew from eggs with their memories wiped. They are unable to have offspring."

Only certain Vidyadhara will have the appearance of a dragon with the horns and tail, according to what Dan Heng himself said. And they would have the chance to be the Vidyadhara High Elder, from what I remember.

For the Vidyadhara, each cycle of rebirth might as well be an entirely new life.

While they are the same person at their core, all of the memories that shaped them have been erased.

Like a slate wiped clean.

We already know he no longer has any memory of his past as Imbibitor Lunae. But I think that with Dan Heng once again obtaining his old Vidyadhara form, he'll be getting back his memories. It seemed like it in the leaks and based on what we saw in the version trailer.

That's all I can remember theorizing, but I'm sure I wrote down more elsewhere. So I'll edit this later if I remember more of what I'd thought about.

Edit 15/07/23

You know how I said that I think Dan Heng has something to do with Blade becoming immortal and it's likely also the reason he was banished from the Xianzhou Alliance? Maybe those things have something to do with the fact that the Vidyadhara are known as Long's Scions. As in Long, the Aeon of Permanence. And Dan Heng was the High Elder of the Luofu and the Vidyadhara, meaning he'd passed the trials that the Vidyadhara must pass in order to have the blessings of their kind, includnig the features of a dragon. Maybe that has something to do with Blade becoming immortal? Dan Heng being a one of the strongest beings who were descended from the Aeon of Permanence?

[starlit-hopes-and-dreams]

Whump Intro

Hi, hello! 

Um, I’ve been avoiding this intro bc I am a shy awkward hermit that usually just lurks and likes stuff, but that doesn’t really work on Tumblr so here I am! Plus I wanted to use Whumptober to force myself into sharing my writing and figured it might be useful to introduce myself first.

You can call me starlit, or anna, or hey you, I don’t really care lol. She/her pronouns. I love reading fantasy & fantasy romance, writing, and playing RPG video games when I have the time (usually fantasy based-are we sensing a theme here? 😂)

Before we get to more about me nonsense-

Acknowledgements!

Shout out to @i-can-even-burn-salad

For beta reading for me and then being brave enough to share her stories with me. And for sucking me into Tumbler lol. And for talking to me all the time and making me laugh. And for being such a great person. <3

I love her writing and stories so much. Please, please, check her writing out. It's worth it, I promise! Bring tissues though!!

Best internet friend ever trophy, where is it? I need to send it… oh, there it is. Here you go, Elli! 🏆🎉💜

I haven't had the opportunity to check out many other blogs yet, bc someone has such an extensive back catalog 👀 😂 but tagged below is the one I have read. I devoured Traces in one day because it was so good. Highly recommend!

Traces by @whumping-in-the-wings - Thanks for writing such a great story! Can't wait to see what happens next :)

(Obligatory disclaimer: heed the warnings. They are well-tagged.)

I've got my eye on several other blogs once I have a little more time. Hope ya'll like spam likes/reblogs/comments, bc I'm a bit enthusiastic 😂

Ok, back to me, I suppose. Under the cut 🤣

I tend to use emojis excessively, but don’t expect me to know the meaning of them beyond face-value expressions. I shamelessly claim elder millennial status as an excuse (which means I’m 18+, obviously).

I’m audhd (combo autistic/adhd), but I didn’t find that out until earlier this year, so I’m still very used to tiptoeing around people and holding myself back out of self-preservation. Working on that though, bc I’m tired of that shit. 

Erm, also… fuck is my favorite word. If you don’t like foul language, I might not be a great fit for you. 

I joined Tumblr about a month ago, so I am still learning and ask for your patience. (I will probably be learning for quite some time, tbh) If I’m doing something wrong, please let me know so I can fix it.

Asks are welcome, although not sure what you would ask me lol. With asks, keep in mind that I’m literal as fuck and context is everything :D

As is fairly common from what I’ve seen in this community, I’ve daydreamed whump for as long as I can remember, and it’s nice to:

1. know what to call it 🥲

2. find someplace where I don’t feel weird about getting it out of my head and putting it on digital paper. Well, not quite as weird haha.

I’m super nervous to post on here, but that’s what I’m here for, so… deep breaths 😶

Likes: 

*Fantasy whump 

Magic w/ consequences

Captivity

Torture/punishments 

Restraints

Dub/non-con 

Emotional whump/angst 

Defiant whumpee

Breaking whumpee to the point of hopeless despair before building them back up again

Revenge against whumper 

Creepy/intimate whumper 

Named characters 

Recovery arcs, bonus points for romance <3

Eventual Happy endings after copious amounts of suffering

I write what I like, btw. I have written explicit romance previously, but I’m not sure if I will here.

I will try to be diligent with my warnings, but as those are new for me as well, I may miss some. Please let me know if I do and I will fix it! (within reason, don't ask me to tag something like sadness. that's a typical emotion. extremes like depression, yes. sadness, no.)

* Disclaimer: I will only ever write fantasy. I prefer to read fantasy as well, but I have made exceptions when I get the tropes I want :D 

Squicks: 

I’m willing to try most anything once. 

In general though, I tend to avoid cannibalism, major character death, hard-core conditioning, whumper redemptions, bad caretakers 

I’m excited to join the community here and looking forward to participating in Whumptober! I have no idea how well I’ll keep up since I only decided to write for it 3 days before the event, but I’m willing to try 😅

Even if I can’t keep up during October's events, I do plan to finish the storyline and there will be a happy end :D  

Fuck, this got long. Sorry!!!

See you all around! 💜

[justice4sasuke]

Character Roundups Round 13: The Konoha Council

AKA the last one! (I think) AKA The People Who Did A Genocide.

Man, Kishimoto really is the master of adding in plot points that make previously "good" characters look REAL bad (probably without realizing it). Personally considering his importance to the main character I think he fucked up with Jiraiya most but Hiruzen is a close second. How are you going to go from the kind, fatherly leader of the village to a guy who doesn't have enough backbone/care enough to not let an entire clan in his village get murdered?

As for those other three I think it's funny how they are all set up as "not great". I mean Tsunade is completely sick of all of them. We are supposed to be mad at the two non-character elders for not letting Naruto do whatever. Danzo literally prevented Naruto from getting back to the village during the Pain fight sooner (not that I care but the narrative does), he's acting shady the entire time he is interim hokage, he's an asshole. BUT THEN when it comes to the Uchiha massacre suddenly we couldn't possibly make them look evil for that. Perish the thought! Kakashi is looking those two elders right in the face after he has been told the story by Obito (which he might not believe, but at least was like need to confirm) and the narrative does nothing with it. I think you can barely see them. And this wasn't in the original manga, but someone at some point was like "yeah, they are still around doing the same job" post-Naruto because they're there. No consequences or nothing. And Danzo, well, when Sasuke kills Danzo which was fully within Sasuke's right to do if he wanted, Danzo gets a sad flashback about how we wanted to protect the Leaf and was jealous of Hiruzen.

Here's the thing, I have no problem with giving some background to a villain obviously, but the way it's done here really makes me think it's not trying to expand on Danzo's character but make him sympathetic at the last second. If that wasn't supposed to be the case it would have been more effective to one, have someone mention that Danzo wanting the whole Uchiha clan dead was pretty fucked up and two, put Danzo's flashback somewhere else.

Finally, what do all these people have in common...the highest echelon of Konoha...oh yeah, they're all Tobirama's students. Because I probably need to say it again, I don't think this was Tobrirama's plan because if it was he would have had to be playing 5 dimensional chess to get things to happen how they did. It probably more so happened because Tobirama didn't trust the Uchiha clan, put them in a precarious position with the police force, and Kishimoto probably didn't think of it but if he was any good at writing it would be obvious Tobirama instilled the same idea into his students to an extent. And that's perfectly reasonable character/story-wise! These people could have just done something really horrible, by the time anyone who wasn't directly involved found out Hiruzen was dead, Danzo is literally the second worst (he threatened to murder a 7 year old to his 13 year old brother) so it should be at least a NEUTRAL thing that Sasuke killed him, and then those two other fuckers don't do anything anyway so I say jail. But rather than saying these four people fucked up, Kishimoto rather make Sasuke look evil because he can't make the institution of Konoha look bad and we need to set up some kind of Sasuke/Naruto parallel.

[aeoki]

Sandstorm - Desert Survival: Chapter 1

Location: Desert Characters: Hinata & Kaoru

TL Note:

In Japan, speaking to your elders using “formal/polite language” (敬語 / keigo) is a form of respect for those older than you (even if it’s by a year). It’s also used when speaking to people you’re not familiar with, so most people would switch to “casual language” (タメ語 / tamego) with their close friends/family, otherwise it may seem as though you’re treating the person you’re talking to like they’re a stranger.

For those who don’t know, this is Tetora’s common phrase and Hinata says this entire line in Tetora’s speaking style.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< Ten or so minutes later. >

Kaoru: Sorry! It was just a joke! I won’t do anything scary so come over here ♪

Hinata: Really? Can I really believe you? If you’re lying, then I’m gonna mix lies and truth and tell Anzu-san about your history with women.

Kaoru: Don’t do that, seriously! She’s too pure so she might actually believe what you tell her!

Hinata: On the flip side, you’d easily believe the words of someone younger than you, huh…

Hehehe, I’ve got the advantage now that I know your weakness is Anzu-san.

So obviously, you should watch what you say and do – don’t pull anything funny, okay? You need to obey my command.

Kaoru: Okay… I’m your dog, Hinata-kun…

Anyway, enough jokes for now. Can I talk about something serious?

Hinata: I’ve been serious this whole time, though? Come on, run over there and get me a drink! I’m thirsty because it’s so hot here!

Kaoru: Me too. What’s up with this place? It’s a real desert but did we have one in Japan before?

Hinata: Isn’t it the famous Tottori Sand Dunes? It’s in the Chuugoku region, right? And we’re in Tottori.

Kaoru: Hmm… don’t you think it’s way too hot, though? It’s winter right now. We’re not in a faraway country where winter doesn’t exist, right?

Well, the problem is why we’ve been thrown out to an uninhabited area like this, though.

Hinata: And the other problem is whether or not we can get home properly~... I miss Yuuta-kun…

Kaoru: There, there. I’m here with you, so just bear with me, okay?

Hinata: Noo~... I miss Yuuta-kun’s squishy cheeks~ You’ve surprisingly got a lot of muscle and you’re boney, so it doesn’t feel nice hugging you~...

Kaoru: Well, most girls prefer this kind of figure, okay? Really, I mean it!

If being nice to touch is one of the reasons behind being popular, then no one would need to go on a diet.

Anyway, I think this is part of the event, so even in the worst-case scenario, we should still be able to go home.

Hinata: Whaddya mean?

Wait, I’ve been forgetting to speak to you formally[⁎], but is that okay with you?

Kaoru: It’s fine~ I kinda note to myself that you speak more casually than Yuuta-kun, so it’s easier for me to tell who’s who that way.

Hinata: I had a feeling that was the case, so I’m gonna take the risk and assume you just think of me as someone rude and continue talking casually to you.

Yuuta-kun isn’t here right now, so there’s no need to know how to tell us apart.

Old habits die hard… Sorry.

Kaoru: You don’t have to apologise~ I don’t know anyone younger than me who doesn’t talk casually to the people they’re close with, so if you talk to me all formally, it feels like we’re not close and that makes me kinda sad.

Anyway, I said I came across the other idols before, right?

Hinata: Oh, yeah. And you mentioned they explained some stuff to you?

Kaoru: Yeah. According to them, this is a big event in the “SS” Qualifying Round. It’s an event in this Chuugoku region to see who will advance to the next round.

Hinata: Hmm. The qualifying round wasn’t a thing where the idols just work for a month and the unit with the most “SSL$” is the winner?

Kaoru: That was supposed to be the case, but it seems this Chuugoku region has some different rules.

So it’s like preparing for the real qualifying round – like a qualifying round for the qualifying round?

Hinata: I don’t get it, teacher!

Kaoru: Yeah. I’m also speaking based on assumptions, so I’m sorry if things aren’t making sense.

I mentioned earlier that a lot of powerhouse units are gathered in this Chuugoku region, right?

Hinata: Osu[⁎]. For us “2wink”, everyone else is basically above us – it’s a real hell.

Kaoru: I don’t think “2wink” is weak in any way right now, though…

Well, anyway, it seems the Chuugoku region is way too small for all those strong and famous powerhouse units to do whatever they want here.

Frankly, it looks like there aren’t enough stages or broadcast time slots for everyone – The “SSL$” has been on the rise since those things cost “SSL$”.

Hinata: Yeah, it costs money to rent that stuff, huh. That’s how the “L$” system works at ES, so that’s common sense to us, though. Kaoru: Right. That’s probably why there’s a need for them to screen units. You can see the management’s intentions.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂ Next Chapter →

[panigamermauser]

Putting my thoughts about ending together.

It is very undercooked. Gordon Ramsey would have a lot to say, if it was a meal.

Ingredients to make it great are all there, but they clearly just wanted to get it done by certain date, so it ended up being less developen than even Act1 ending.

I am thankful to all who posted spoilers. If I was not mentally prepared for the trainwreck, my reaction would have been much harsher than it is. But I got to acceptance stage before I got to the ending. So it's fine.

More detailed thoughts are under the cut.

I already wrote about how tadpole-eating/resisting should have had an impact. 

My Tav and companions had zero of extra tadpoles,  and yet I had a choice to make Tav or Karlach an Illithid. Why? 

Make it logical (maybe even enevitable) outcome for tadpilled, depending on how much they slurped?

And maybe remove the chance for them to free Orpheus? Like, maybe Emperor can impose control over players who ate the astral tadpole?

And if you never took any, maybe there's no option to side with Emperor, because you showed your mistrust to him by refusing his gifts?

You know, at least something to differentiate the ingame choices.

I mean, having ending of only two choices is not ideal either way, and limiting it to no choice will ruffle a lot of feathers, but I'd rather have something reflecting long-term choices than one choice at the end that happens regardless of how you played 100+  hours prior.

I would prefer much deeper interactions, naturally. Keep what you have. But also add some more. Might not be a realistic request, depending on how it was coded. 

Still, imagine the perfect world where sad realities of game development do not happen. 

If I had my way, I'd have at least third choice - convincing Emp to free Orpheus, because they got a common enemy in Elder brain. After all, Orpheus wants to free his people. Emp wants to be free from Elder Brain. They can try to kill each other later, but at the very least they can unite their forces for a moment.

And I get that Emp is pretty much the opposite of Astarion. He is good at manipulation and he never falls for his target. He craves power more than freedom. If he cannot have what he wants - he'd rather side with his enslaver. He already went through his corruption arc with Ansur and is set in his ways.

He is really well-written and I like his character a lot.

BUT. At the same time I want him to crack and allow himself to trust player character, under certain conditions.

Hell, make it even romance-only option. When players romances him and no one else. If you did not ask him to turn back into Dream Guardian. If you agree to turn into Ilithid for him. If you accepted him in a way Ansur could not - he could maybe put his trust in your char for once? That you would protect him if Orpheus turns on him? That you would accompany him in life ever after? We have an example of Omeluum and Blurg adventuring together and finding their place in the world. Why is it not a choice for the player?

Not to mention the whole Emp vs Orpheus choice is so weird. We never interact with Orpheus before making a choice. The only interaction we had was his guards trying to kill player. So the choice ends up being mostly a meta-game one.

Like, I only chose him because I want Lae to ride dragons and lead her people to freedom. Which required me knowing the spoilers in the first place. Otherwise I'd have to put blind trust into a dude we never met to be better that Vlaakith. We already saw that Lae has issues with blindly trusting authority figures, so my Tav would have some massive doubts over her new devotion.

And outside of that we do not actually know if he would even help us if freed. So why are we betting on him again?

Like, I do not know when tadpole Dream Lover got rewritten into Emperor. Maybe Orpheus was not part of the plot in the beginning at all? Maybe what we got was the best they could do with the time they had. But understanding the reasons behind a thing does little to help against disappointment, unfortunately.

Emperor is such a wonderfully-written character, and yet him going back to Netherbrain ending is surprising in a bad way. There's no indications he'd ever choose to go back to being a thrall if he does not get the power. Like, his whole thing was independence! 

And if player actively chose to free Astarion, Lae, Shadowheart, Wyll and Gale of their respective chains - why he thinks the player won't do the same for him? He sees into main char's head. He knows main char can find a better way to do things!

And Orpheus is a stranger, and it's hard to care about him at all. If a player does not like Lae, what other reasons are there to side with him?

Maybe after we learn about him, he mentally projects into our dreams to plead his case? You know, something more substantial than one book and Lae replacing her devotion to Vlaakith with her devotion to Orpheus.

And companion epilogues hurt so bad. I am always baffled when writers put immense amount of work and love and care into companions, and yet fail to give them proper closure. 

Their companion quest ending is not enough, no matter how spectacular it is. It deals with their past problems. And I want to see what they plan for future, after games big plot has wrapped up.

And everyone needs to have an option of 'can I join you and help you?'. Why Lae'zel romancers cannot stand by her side in space revolution? Why the only option to stay with her is shitty 'choose me over your people and everything you ever dreamt about'? If I were romancing her, I would be devastated. You either loose her, or make her give up her goals and dreams. Where's 'let's overthrow Vlaakith together' option?

And if player chose to not romance anyone, the only current option to be involved with companions' futures is to go to Hell with Karlach.

And yes, I read their explanation that they didn't want the ending cutscene to be too long. But there's a simple solution. Companion epilogues should not have been the part of it at all. Show everyone relevant gathering on the pier, get the final cheer with your choice of future, roll credits.

Like, this should have been the end of main ending cutscene.

And then load main char standing on the pier, with all companions and relevant story NPCs waiting there. So you can talk to each one individually and experience closure at your own pace.

And yes, I care for what thieflings, moon lesbians, Zevlor, Alfira etc will do now too! I want to tell Scratch, Grub and owlbear cub that I love them, and pet them one last time.

I do not know why separating big story ending from companions/allies closure did not occur to them?

Right now ending feels very biased towards Gale, Lae and Karlach(and Blade of Avernus version of Wyll). No one else gets closure, unless they are romanced (except poor Halsin who does not get any even if romanced). And I have a feeling that Karlach only got her scene only because it is a bad ending. If there was an engine fix in the game, her closure would probably be locked behind romance too.

You can be best friend with Astarion and you'll never know if he even survived the sunrise. You can be Shadowheart's bestie, and never know she plans to settle down with her parents. And call me weird, but I think friendship should be just as valid as romance.

At least they already promised improved companion epilogues. So here's hoping.

They better make that celebration scene. Your companions bring it up. You can agree to it. Which would be your perfect transition to talking to all companions and allies at your own pace. But it never happens. I hate to be teased😑

[sigurdjarlson]

Playing fo3 the last few weeks and it’s giving me so many thoughts on the BoS but even more questions about what happened during the 10 years between fo3 and fo4

I suppose they didn’t want to give concrete answers on some things since they want to give the illusion former players can have their own “canon” ending to some degree

But overall

- The BoS didn’t actually change that much in terms of their xenophobia towards non humans. The ghouls in underworld blatantly say they’ll fire at them for amusement not caring if they’re feral or not. And this is Lyons’ BoS

- The civil war between the outcasts and Lyons is genuinely interesting. It’s also interesting one of Maxson’s accomplishments is bringing the Outcasts back into the fold which brings into question what did he agree to in order to do this?

- Maxson actually does show some of Lyons’ influence in his policies. (He does care about the people of the commonwealth in his way, he accepts wastelanders, he says to trade tech for food and water and lend a hand occasionally,) BUT he also has the traditional BoS attitude towards non humans, basically a very “sacrifice a few for the greater good” attitude. He’s quite merciless towards deemed enemies.

- his soldiers refer to him as “compassionate” but say the institute will feel his wrath in the same sentence. So I think in that regard I think his rule is a lot of trying to balance Lyons policies with the traditional BoS mission.

- something happened to the Citadel “remember the Citadel” and both Elder Lyons and Sarah Lyons died at some point within those 10 years. Owen Lyons is remembered as weak and too charitable (danse says this himself)

- baby Maxson is so sweet and timid but the BoS being an army see this as a thing to be ironed out since it’s one of the reasons his mother sent him there in the first place. Never forget he wanted to be friends with liberty prime :(

- Lyons lamenting the fact that Maxson is a child being groomed “to be a killer by killers” and he wishes he could have an actual childhood makes me sad

- Maxson didn’t change the BoS drastically, he is a product of the BoS and whatever happened during those ten years (still fully responsible for his actions of course but I twitch a little when people say he made the BoS be terrible. They’ve always sucked)

- “they say my soul was forged in eternal steel but I don’t believe that, I’m really just a normal boy” never fails to make my heart hurt. Especially with the knowledge he resents being worshipped as a god and uproots those cults as a result

- “your words are kind..kinder than the ones I usually here.” I don’t think this is saying people are /mean/ to him per se but the BoS Is an army and there’s a detached nature to how they interact. Actual warmth and affection is absent here

- They dropped the ball with Maxson in fo4 to some degrees because they fail to show his internal motivations more obviously which could have made blind betrayal more poignant

- still think he should be a companion but I suppose it would be difficult for him to he going off with you willy nilly because of his position and responsibilities but it’s not like fallout is known for its realism

- He 16 when they put him in charge and is only 20 in fo4. He’s not even old enough to drink by our laws and they have him leading an entire army is it really a wonder he thought a nuke throwing robot would be really cool

He’s not a good person by any means but my point is there’s just a tragic nature to his character they could have really explored and I’m sad they didn’t

[thealter-ego]

So how could I be in love with him?

At first, i dont know. My first impression of him was bad. Until i was trying to understand him as ex pesantren, he should be so awkward when he talk to woman. Even tho he already been close with a girl before she rejected him.

His physical appearance doesnt even fit my type of guy 😭

But then i looked his photo. He's not.. that bad 🥲

When the first time I saw him in kakak's wedding, one thing that highlights the most was.. his dimples. In that photo, he's smiling widely. Those dimples came out, dominating his entire face. That shit hella cute i cant even forget it.

Another thing is..

My mom likes him. She can confirmed that he's good guy, even tho i cant find any evidence. But at least, he's not a smoker, and pray 5 times a day. And since hes from pesantren i could expect that hes good in islam knowlege, just like dad.

And, him and my mom seems really get into each other like.. akrab bener?? They share jokes like theyre friends. And, that's actually what i need in men. The one who can be akrab with my mom. Cuz maybe i will be the one who take care of my mom, and i wish my man could akrab with my mom.

Hes also from mid class family. His mom is a teacher, his dad worked in pos indo.

He also really kind to elder people, he can be akrab with them, make jokes, and always says yes when they asked some favor. So i think he's a good listener?

He's first born, and the only boy in the family. Me, last child and the only girl in the family. And i just realized that, i want to be with a man who is the first born or the only child. First born bcs im so close with my first brother. Only child bcs i just dont want to be bothered with his brothers/sisters lol. But still want the first born bcs they usually the most reliable person in the family. And i need someone like that.

Well, idk the truth, is he actually the first born or not. My mum forgot about it, she kinda unsure. But knowing that his mum is still pretty young, he probably is the first born.

Also, one of his sisters are already married, the other one is getting married soon. Meaning that.. he's not tulang punggung of the family ehhe.

One day I wrote about criteria of my future husband. One of them was "a cat lover, or animal lover". Idk if hes one of them, but his family has 4 cats in his house. So i guess he likes cat too?? 🥹

He seems like easy to laugh in everything. Idk what happened with him but, i like seeing him smiling like that. And i wish, i really wish, i could keep his smile bright and wide like that everyday hehe.

Yeah the thing is, i finally have the reasons. Meaning that it is not just me being curious about a person like when I did to J. Meaning that, im in love. I admit it now that im in love with him.

Even tho it's just a glimpse of him that i knew. I dont want to be in the same pattern again. I want him to be with me. I dont want to be a miserable girl who cant get the man of my dream. There is no doubt in me.

In this moment, he actually jobless. Kinda sad and disappointing, to be honest. But, i want to wait. I know im not stupid when i decided to love him, and wait for him to get a job, and decided to love me back. Ill wait for that moment, to get to know him more.

[thegreatwicked]

Letting Stories Go

I wanna talk about something that I've been wrestling with for a long while that I'm a little at odds about. So, back in 2012, I started writing a story in the Assassins Creed fandom, I've been a fan of the games for a very long time, and while I love the world within the Animus, the game itself has really become a shadow of itself after the third game. That's where this story took place in AC3 the game with Connor Kenway and taking place during the American Revolution.

By this point, I hadn't written fanfiction, probably since high school, and with the game's release I was compelled to write a character because, despite the disappointing ending, I really loved the characters in the game. I wrote an OC called Chenoa. She was the love interest of Connor, and I wrote her in about halfway through the game following the events of the game. She was the daughter of an Irish doctor (dad) and an Egyptian Assassin (mom.) She was orphaned at eight after her parent's death and raised by an associate of her mothers an Abenaki elder and thusly raised within the Abenkai community. It's a bit of a cliche but at the time I really loved what I was writing however, here in 2024, looking back at the story I never finished I'm really questioning whether or not I should.

My reasons mostly stem from the fact that I'm not sure it's the 'correct' thing to do. As a writer now, I pour in lots of research into my characters and the worlds they inhabit but back in 2012, that wasn't the case, I made it up to 30-odd chapters and I was pumping the story out as fast as I could type because it was just FLOWING.

Chenoa, is problematic because I did not pour much research into her, I was a different writer back then and the world was a different place with people not yet understanding just how murky the waters could be when it came to writing a character from a culture that wasn't your own. I'm a white woman with no indigenous background, and I was writing about Chenoa who was for all intents and purposes, an Abenaki woman but looking back now, I can see I wasn't being respectful or even devoting the care to writing her the way she should have been given that she was part of a community that I know nothing about. I had every intention of finishing the story now that I've changed as a writer but as I said, looking back at it, it doesn't feel right to do it now and I'm thinking it might be time to let the story go.

I'm sad at this realization because I think as writers we develop connections to our stories, like deep emotional connections and I definitely had one to this story. It was the most popular story I'd ever written with over 30 chapters, 74k words 100 comments, 89 favorites, and 103 follows. At the time it was some of my best writing and people really loved it. I'd wake up to new comments almost daily and people constantly telling me they loved the story and were excited for the next chapter. No story has ever reached this level of interaction/adoration/love, whatever you want to call it and it was one of the times in my life that made me the happiest (at the time.)

I had so much love for this story and the character I'd created but the more I thought about it the more I realized that continuing it didn't feel right. I've grown up and while I still love the story, I don't feel the need to continue it. I've decided to remove it and move on to other things. I've saved a copy of it so that I always have it for whatever reasons but I've also screenshotted the wonderful comments left to me. These comments are what make the fanfiction community so wonderful, guys, you're all amazing, seriously. That we form such great friendships with people we may never meet all because of people who never existed is something that will never cease to astound me.

I just wanted to get this off my chest and tell you guys about a story I began a long time ago and how you don't always have to finish things. Chenoa means 'Dove' and she was a healer like her father, she entered into the world of the Brotherhood and met Connor over chance and misdirection and the two became a team. There was meant to always be push and pull as to whether or not she would stay the path of the healer or take up her mother's crusade and take life instead of sparing it. In the end, her role was to remain a healer and stay by Connor's side, rebuilding the Brotherhood but not taking a direct role.

This feels like a eulogy almost, lol. I just wanted to share something that meant a lot to me. I'm onto working on my other projects including Shadows and Unbreakable Bonds and my army of one-shots. Thanks for listening.

[weywardwisdom]

Here's a head's up for First Peoples—people who've died are named here.

Dear savvy sight-seers,

To get to Narrung, I recommend taking the free-way. I recommend taking it early—with water. Repeat doses may be needed. The trip to Narrung has its risks.

How do I know? Linguamancy—which means, er, um, oh, it’s on the tip of my tongue!

Also. I read. And the trip to Narrung is packed with peril. Some poor sod died:

‘The track is a waterless one, and the heat apparently overpowered the unfortunate man before he could reach Narrung, which was only six miles distant’ (1905, Jan 12, SAD TALE OF THE BUSH, The West Australian, 5, Trove).

His body was found ‘watched over by a dog’. Oh the heart-break! But I left out three vital facts:

~ This tragedy happened over a hundred years ago.

~ It happened near Narrung, Victoria; where I suspect all my fan-mail goes.

~ His transport was shanks pony.

Thankfully you’ve got wheels and me as your friendly trippy travel-guide! What can go wrong?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wherever there are old Ngarrindjeri routes, there’s always fresh water to be found nearby. Well, there used to be, before we land-grabbers blotted the landscape.

Enter Ngarrindjeri elder Neville Gollan. He knew where all the fresh-water soaks and wells used to be. And showed us a marker in the Coorong. The stone had the words ‘Good Water’ cut into it. It had to be old. Those words came with big bold sheriffs—oops, serifs. Who bothers writing with them these days? Ugh! The stone’s gone now—stolen by some bastard. No sheriffs—or serifs—around.

‘If you’re thirsty and can’t find water,’ said Uncle Neville, ‘just look for Wa:tji bush. Break a bit off’. Uncle was also fondly known as ‘the Professor’—with good reason.

‘What do I do with it?’ I asked. Yes, I’m an ignorant white-fella. He grinned, and said:

‘You suck’. (Please stress the second word, not the first).

Thing is, there’s no need to die of thirst here. Wa:tji bush is a really common plant. It grows in long hedge-rows along the side of the road. Well, it used to.

W.e.i.r.d. English's name is tangled lignum. W.e.i.r.d. science's name is ‘Duma florulenta’ (2009, Ngarrindjeri Dictionary, 164).

W.e.i.r.d? That’s—Western/white eye-wateringly insensitive, rudely dogmatic—apologies to Joseph Henrich.

Wa:tji bush grows taller than tall people. Yet W.e.i.r.d. people often don’t see it. Why? They rate it as worthless. And—I suspect—they didn’t get enough love at birth.

Wa:tji bush doesn’t get into local plant guides either. It’s not even in the one that tells land-grabbers about the ‘most common native and introduced plant species’ here (2009, LowerlakesPlantGuide).

Why not? After all, Wa:tji bush is a really cool living being. It has super powers of survival. And really deep roots—they can go down 3 metres odd (Tangled Lignum).

So when big waters bull-doze their way downstream, this plant has got a good grip on things. And this makes it a life-saver for many small critters.

Also. When it gets too dry, it’ll drop its leaves. And can look dead.

When it rains, a miracle happens! Wa:tji bush is quick coming back to life! It’s ability to renew itself makes this plant ‘the unsung zombie hero of the floodplains’ (2022, Sept 12, Tangled Lignum).

Also. If you look closely, there’s a tiny blue wren, living in there! The Ngarrindjeri name is ‘Wa:tji Pulyeri’. Wa:tji bush is a safe place for tiny Wa:tji Pulyeri (2009, Ngarrindjeri Dictionary, 164).

Wa:tji bush, sadly, is on the way out. Despite its awesome life skills, land-grabbers still don’t value it enough.

‘I didn’t know it had flowers’, a Narrung old-timer told me once. Sigh!

Flowers have been bursting from this bush’s grey-green tangle for eons. How do I know? Sycomancy? No, I don’t read fig leaves. I do read old stories.

Fig tree, by the way, sheltered baby twins, tossed out by an evil despot. And that’s how the evil Roman Empire began—abusing women and tiny children. Did they not get enough love at birth?

When the evil Empire came to this land, tangled lignum sheltered First Peoples. It hid Walmajarri people from the police, explained elder Bessie Doonday (Duma florulenta). That’s when they took the children away. What a terrible thing—white Australiens thinking they know best. When will the trauma end for Stolen Generations?!

Ngarrindjeri parents tell stories to teach their children about safe places. In the Waatji Pulyeri creation story, Wa:tji bush is a place to hide from danger. The story-teller of this version, sadly, is no longer with us—another Ngarrindjeri gone too soon. Gone but never forgotten.

Enter Jimmy Rankine, Ngarrindjeri singer and story-teller. The first time we met was at the Narrung general store—just across the road from Wa:tji bush, as it happens. And cross-my-heart, this is the only photo of the store I've ever taken.

‘Hullo, Jimmy’, I said. He stopped—studied me—and then said:

‘You know me? How? We’ve never met!’

‘I met your waist-coat this morning’, I replied. ‘It was hanging on the back of the chair, when I visited your mum, down Raukkan’.

It was an awesome waistcoat. It was patterned like the night sky filled with glowing golden stars. In those staid stuffed-shirt days, I really rated people who were so radiantly creative.

‘I’m a fan’, I added. ‘I bought your band’s cd’.

Thankfully, my remark about Rough Image put a spark in Jimmy’s eyes.

‘Would you like my autograph?’ he kindly said. I did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You can still see Wa:tji bush on your way to Narrung. And when you look carefully, I wonder who you'll see in there.