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young-dumb-and-vaccinated · 3 years

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Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 11

Cult Girl goes on a little solo excursion while Hannibal works.

@wisesandwichshark @pearlstiare

Trigger warnings: (fake) blood, mentions of death overseas, anti-choice harassment, discussion of abortion

Archie and Max leaving the picture was a problem you couldn't bring yourself to deal with when you awoke the next day. You anticipated a massive downward spiral if you didn't do something for yourself and fast. You'd spent so much time worrying about your schoolwork and your baby that it was long past due.

You made a couple of phone calls and found a GameStop a little out of the way with a used copy of Pokémon Alpha Sapphire for sale. About twenty minutes drive. Hannibal had back-to-back appointments clogging up his day, so it gave you an excuse to go on a little excursion.

You climbed into your car, picked an extensive playlist of your favorite songs and set off. You plugged the directions into your phone and let the map guide you. The roads narrowed as you watched your surroundings grow less and less familiar.

Soon enough, you pulled into a parking lot. Nestled between a Planned Parenthood and a used bookstore, the GameStop beckoned you. At the end of your tunnel vision was that game and nothing could stop you from getting it.

Certainly not from lack of trying.

"Stop right there!" A voice said. It chuckled, trying to make the rude interruption seem friendly.

An obstacle appeared in your line of sight: a plain-looking middle-aged white woman with dyed blonde hair. Just your garden variety Karen.

"Can I help you?" You said, giving your voice a distinct, annoyed bite.

She smiled, though not without discomfort. "Are you going, y'know, in there?"

She gestured to the building behind you. Uncertain of what she wanted or why she was making a trip to the GameStop so weird, you answered in the affirmative.

"Yeah, why?"

She wrapped her hand around your arm, as if to restrain you. Her touch made your skin crawl.

"I really don't think you should go in there."

You finally put the pieces together. This lady was just some anti-choice maniac, waiting outside a Planned Parenthood for any random pregnant woman to approach.

"Yeah, I totally carried this baby for five months just to get rid of it within a week of the legal termination threshold." You rolled your eyes. "I just want it to feel the maximum possible amount of pain when I destroy it."

The woman's face turned into one of abject horror and you smiled, feeling proud of yourself. You yanked your arm from her hand with full intent to walk away. That should have been the end of it.

"Wait!" She shouted, snatching you by the shoulder. "Please, reconsider. God gave you that little one because he wants you to be a mommy!"

"For the love of fuck, woman." You snarled. "Can you seriously not pick up on sarcasm? I'm not even going to the clinic. I'm going to the GameStop."

She wasn't convinced. "See, I think you're lying to me. I think you're telling me one thing and then you're gonna do another thing."

"What the hell is it any of your business, Karen?" You scowled at her. "Leave me alone!"

"Just pray about it, please!" She pleaded. "What if your baby grows up to be a soldier? Protecting your freedom?"

"Oh, then I should definitely kill it now." You snarked. "Would save him the trouble of getting blown up by other Americans in a senseless war like my dad."

Adda girl, [F/N]! You thought to yourself. Nothing gets nosy strangers to go away quite like revealing even more personal information!

She put both her hands on your protruding belly. "Don't worry, angel. Mommy isn't going to kill you! Aunt Laurie won't allow it!"

You vaguely remembered your obstetrician saying something about how twenty-week fetuses could hear the outside world. You weren't planning on subjecting the kid to violence this early on, but desperate times call for desperation.

You grabbed her by the shoulders and shoved her down. She screamed, getting the attention of a few onlookers.

"Help!" She wailed, lying on the ground as if she couldn't get up. "I'm being attacked!"

You dashed as quickly as your legs could carry you into the GameStop. The lone cashier, a purple-haired girl with a nose ring, pretended that she hadn't been watching the altercation and looked back down at her sandwich.

"Welcome to GameStop." She said, hesitantly. "Are you... [F/N]?"

You nodded. "Yeah, I'm here for that copy of Alpha Sapphire."

"Tubular." She rummaged in a drawer beside her for the envelope.

A rather massive eevee plush displayed behind the counter caught your eye. "How much for her?"

The cashier placed the game on the counter and looked back at the massive eevee. "Fourty-four ninety-five."

"I'll take her too." You said.

The cashier pulled the eevee down from the shelf and scanned its tag.

"Aight, your total is sixty-nine eighty." She said.

"Nice." You snickered, reaching for your credit card.

The cashier smirked as you inserted the chip. "Hey, was that crazy lady accosting you outside?"

"I take it she does that a lot?" You asked.

She heaved a sigh. "You have no idea."

You looked behind at the large windows and saw the woman standing outside the door, waiting for you. You felt like a caged animal. Your eyes scanned the room and landed on a couple ketchup packets. A sick idea formed in your head.

"Are you gonna use those?" You asked, pointing to them.

The cashier glanced at the woman and raised her eyebrow. "Not if you have a better use for them."

The bell jangled as you walked out of the store with a shopping bag around your wrist and a ketchup packet in each hand. Just as suspected, the woman grabbed your arm.

"Oh, honey!" She exclaimed. "Before you leave, god put it on my mind to say a little prayer for the unborn soldier he's gifted you in your womb."

"I'd rather you not." You said, trying to yank your arm out of her surprisingly strong grip.

"You're brave, but foolish, girl." She barked, positioning herself in front of you. You fidgeted with the ketchup packets behind your back, opening them just enough.

The woman put both her hands on your belly. The second you felt her touch, you threw yourself backwards. You landed, not without pain, squarely on your ass.

"Oh my?" The woman covered her mouth with her fingertips. "Are you--"

You leaned forward and moaned in pain, clutching your baby bump with one hand while drenching your shorts in ketchup with the other. You pretended to cave around the pain, then threw yourself back, revealing a bloody stain leaking from between your legs. The woman shrieked.

"Oh my fucking god!" The cashier from the store said, rushing to your side. She put her hand on your shoulder and glared at the woman. "What did you do?!?"

"She pushed me and I think it hurt my baby!" You wailed.

"Holy shit, why would you hurt her baby?!" The cashier shouted, allowing you to slink your arm around her shoulder for support. She then snatched your shopping bag from the ground.

"I didn't mean to, honest!" She said, on the verge of tears. "I was just trying to spread god's love and joy-"

"By assaulting a pregnant woman?!" The cashier yelled. You were clutching your stomach in fake pain. She helped you to your feet. "Come on, let's get you to the clinic."

You conjured up some fake tears. "You killed my baby!"

"You wicked woman!" She cried out. Her voice faded out as you approached the clinic. "You don’t deserve a baby!"

You kept up the crying and wailing until you arrived at the Planned Parenthood. More interested in covering her own ass than begging for forgiveness, the crazy woman made herself scarce. Entering the clinic with an incriminating bloodstain on your pants was awkward, for a moment. But it was easy enough to explain and even earned a laugh or two from the doctors on staff.

Once you were completely certain the crazy lady had left, you scooped up your shopping bag, said goodbye to the cashier and climbed into the car.

Before you put the key in the ignition, you took a moment. You took a moment to do something you knew you shouldn't have.

You placed your hand on your belly and stroked it. "We make a pretty good team, huh?"

You didn't know why you paused. It wasn't like the fetus was going to answer.

"Sorry you had to see that." You said. "Or, I guess, hear that. I wish I could tell you that people aren't really like that in real life, but I can't. Either that or I'm just a magnet for insane people. Hope that it's not genetic."

It just occurred to you that, if your obstetrician was right, the fetus heard everything that you said about killing it. Logically speaking, you knew it wasn't developed enough to comprehend what you were saying, but you still felt like you owed it an apology.

"Hey, scamp." You said, appropriating a nickname your grandfather gave you. "I'm sorry that I talked all that shit back there. About killing you and whatnot. I don't want to kill you. I actually want you to live an amazing life."

Just then, you felt a kick. The doctor war right: there was no mistaking it. The baby kicked.

Your mouth hung dumbly open, delight and fear chasing each other around in your mind. "Holy crap!"

You drove home as fast as legally possible. You needed to get home. As you pulled into the driveway, you noticed that Hannibal's car wasn't there.

He'll be home any minute, you thought. Might as well stay out here to catch him when he arrives.

That was an hour ago. Not that you'd noticed. You would have sat in that car, talking to your baby for an eternity. It wasn't until you heard a tapping on the window did you exit your trance.

Hannibal examined the scene. The ketchup, the massive eevee and his suddenly very chatty fiancée shooting the breeze with her fetus. He smirked.

"Did we have a fun afternoon?"

#hannibal x you #hannibal nbc #hannibal x reader #hannibal lecter #hannibal lecter x reader #cult girl #cult girl doctorate #cult girl 2 #tw abortion #tw pro life #Karen

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spiltscribbles · 3 years

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Oooo it’s my birthday today and I neeeeeed my sweet boys, is it too greedy if I ask for you to write something absolutely adores like you always do. I can wait there’s no rush. It would really make my day a whole lot better

~Notes: HI HI BABY!!! I’m so so fucking sorry this is like two days late 😭😭😭 I am a piece of shit and I had an idea and then I scrapped it and then I came up with this crack shit! But I included singling like you wanted!! And ILU endlessly!!! I hope your birthday was at least filled with sunlight and friends and all the adoration you deserve🎉🎉🎂🥳🎈🎈🎈🎊🎊🥳🎁. And I hope this isn’t a shitty gift!😭😭

Send Me A Prompt<3 | A Reblog is like a hug!!!!

The 4 Times People Suspected About Remus and Sirius, and The One Time They Called It By Name

~I~

Peter notices it first.

He doesn’t know quite what it is, or what it means— Peter doesn’t understand what it entails when he’s watching the way Sirius gently thumbs at a high patch on Remus’s cheek while he’s sleeping on the hospital bed after the first full moon of fourth year, a fraught look in his stormy eyes. Or how Remus’s gaze always search Sirius out first after he’s made a wry comment in the expense of the Slytherins, going alight with the other boy’s laughter. Peter doesn’t comprehend the way it sometimes seems like he’s caught in some sort of static— a negative space that makes him feel out of bounds— when he’s alone with only the pair of them. When they’re all huddled around the common area or their dormitory while James is probably skulking in search of Lily Evans or cajoling the other chasers to have another lap around the court. With Remus lounging on his fourposter, or the sofa, reading one of the infinite books he’s got tucked away in his trunk, and Sirius is quietly sat by his feet, toying with a non-magical contraption he’s found in Muggle London after sneaking out from his ancestral home while his folks were having a row. And Peter is ordinarily just fiddling with a scroll he has to finish for one of the tougher courses from a bit away, intermittently glancing at them side long, just waiting for an excuse to leave the suffocating ambiance that feels like it’s been fitted for just the pair of them and not another soul.

But the most peculiar part about all of this is that Peter is accustomed to feeling like the spare, the cast off who’s clinging to the glimmering forms that are James and Sirius, and their ravenous appetite for any and all attention that’s given over because that’s the sort of boys they are— affluent and prominent and radiating with a sort of spark that’s all there own— the sort of boys that others find doubtless that they are something miraculous. But when Peter’s around just the pair of them, in the corner of the galaxy that the marauders have carved for them to rule like kings— It never feels quite so stilted, so weighty. Sirius and James have a gift of making everyone in the room feel like they’re in on the joke, that they could be showered with that same granger just as long as they play in the tableau. Remus and Sirius together feels the contrary of that, like there’s something pregnant lying between them, waiting to pounce. Like there’s an understanding that no one else gets to glimpse at, and no one else should try. An understanding that’s personal and private and crackling with an energy that is far beyond anything between mere friends, beyond anything Peter could fathom with all his fifteen years.

Idly, over supper after an entire two hours being stuck between that strange tension simmering beneath the surface of Remus and Sirius, Peter wonders for the umpteenth time on whether he should ask James about this development in their small brotherhood, should ask him if he’s detected the difference there. And if he has, Peter will listen to James’s plan to ensure this doesn’t ruin anything. How whatever is brewing under the surface won’t absolutely ruin them.

But then, from the corner of his eye, Peter sees Sirius— none to gently— piling Remus’s plate with an abundance of the potatoes that Moony likes best, dipping down to whisper something in his ear— something surely lecherous— before tousling his curls in that brash, bombastic way of his that he does with Peter and James too, even if he ends it by gingerly cupping the nape of Remus’s neck with a surreptitious squeeze that ends just as quickly as it began, falling back into conversation with James and Marlene about the Wasps’s chances against the Harpies this Friday night as if it was just an innate action, even if it’s one Peter’s only ever witnessed him doing to Remus.

And even though there’s another full in two days, and even though Remus looks like a walking inferi— pale faced and exhausted posture and circles the color of midnight smudged beneath his eyes— Peter watches the ends of his lips quirk up into the best approximation of a smile Peter’s ever seen on him so close to the wolf breaking through the surface of his body that’s all skin and bones, and he isn’t sure if it’s a trick of the light or not, but Remus actually looks like he might be glowing over the strange attention that Sirius’s only ever paid to him.

So no… No, Peter doesn’t think he’ll ask James quite yet, reckons that if anything can help his moon plagued friend, that it must be something good, something that shouldn’t be tempered with.

They can figure out how the strange string pulling Remus and Sirius together will alter their brotherhood later on, there’s still time. There’ still a possibility that it won’t devastate everything.

~II~

Lily’s suspected for a while.

The thing is that she’s known about Remus since the end of third year, when he rebuffed the advances of an eager Heleen Abed, and Lily found him on the ledge of the largest window in the vacant common room— the same one that they regularly commandeer with Mary McDonald to discuss the finer points of Muggle politics and current events, separate from the melting pot of their Gryffindor class that’s composed of either pure bloods or those with their closest Muggle relative being a long dead grandparent. And it was definitely a dangerous, knife’s edge she was playing at, but Lily had sat besides the boy who she’s cultivated a real and true friendship with— one beyond pleasant platitudes and fodder about their course work— and she told him about her cousin Joey with green spiked hair and a mischievous smile adorned with a sparkling stud and how she and Petunia had caught him holding hands with one of his friends from sixth-form in the garden of her Aunt’s cottage, and how even the sneer on her older sisters lips hadn’t deterred Lily from thinking anything but mild indifference about the situation. Only wanting her cousin to always live in that easy effervescence she’s always known when it came to him.

And nothing else was exchanged between them, but Remus had grinned in that barely perceptible way of his, and Lily had nudged his shoulder with her own and then fished out her final handful of chocolate frogs for them to share while they revise their notes for the transfiguration exam coming up.

Two summers have past since then—they’re in the midst of their final term of fifth year now— and she thinks that they’ve become even closer, that the frequent late nights in the library for their impending OWLs and their countless prefect rounds has helped forge a real and true bond— especially that whole snag earlier in the year when they had realized they were both snogging Leon Bennett on alternating nights behind greenhouse three. But all of that withstanding, Lily knows that there are still secrets Remus keeps tight to his chest, ones that Lily’s analytical mind— the mind of a potions expert and future healer— has suspected to do with the thin, silvery scars running down his strong hands that are all tapered fingers and slender wrists, and another across his right bicep that she saw when he had changed his robes for a jumper in front of her, and the one cutting down from the bottom of his ear and nearly across the entire length of his neck, ending at the corner of his sharp collarbone. But Lily suspects he’ll tell her about that soon enough, what she isn’t so confident about is him admitting that particularly dazed look he gets when around Black, of all people. The way he stammers his words occasionally and the way he worries on his bottom lip while averting his glance when Sirius is chatting up a very pleased looking girl, and the way he flushes when Lily is ribbing about him in particular. And Lily knows that the foursome of Gryffindor boys had a falling out of sorts before winter hols, that there’s a hairline fracture between them and Remus now— one that she’s sure no one else can pick up on after the way they had seemingly come back together in late January, right before her birthday funnily enough. But Lily’s always been the analytical sort— the sort to absorb the barebones of a situation so she could conjure a hypothesis that she could prove after careful study.

So Lily knows that it’s something deeper, and she can see how Remus is reticent around them in ways she’s actually worried won’t be shaken off anytime soon— which is all levels of bazaar considering she’s been telling Remus for years that he needs to shrug off his rowdy mates like a snake shedding an old coat. But before, when she’d barb as much he’d only stick out his tongue and tell her what happens to busybodies, and how she doesn’t really know them at all. But now days, he just looks particularly hurt, and more than a bit put out, and Lily catches him flickering over to wherever Sirius was holding court, longing in a way she couldn’t possibly articulate out loud.

Honestly Lily thinks it’s really quite gracious of her to have dropped the subject completely, rather, she takes up the mantel of his friend that can distract him from all those sorts of woes, biting her tongue over his lingering feelings for Sirius that are more than likely far beyond a passing fancy. And she thinks that maybe that’s a good call, maybe it’s good for Remus to beat down those sorts of emotions that he’s harboring for the wanker. She knows Remus, and she knows he wouldn’t hold a grudge— even such a quiet one— for no reason at all. Besides, she doesn’t really think it’s her place to tell him how when he’s glancing away, Sirius is holding vigil to him with that same sort of fervor. That Sirius is the one who collects the notes for all his classes on those conspicuous absences of his when Remus is feeling poorly in the infirmary. That Sirius occasionally looks so very gutted when Remus is wilting away from them, when he seeks Lily’s company instead.

She has a heavy suspicion that Remus might already know all of those things— that maybe they’ve already discussed it at length, that maybe the falling out in December has caused a full stop of anything that could’ve potentially blossomed between them. And she just wishes she knew the entire story so she could decide on whether she should be jinxing Black’s face to a putrid orange color, or pushing Remus to actually give him a chance.

Lily just wishes she could read Black as easily as she can Remus, maybe that would help in this experiment she’s testing, because for now she’s just confused as all hell over what exactly Black feels towards him. Well that is until it’s a fortnight before Remus’s birthday, and she’s being bodily dragged into a closet on her way to charms.

“Oi— What the bloody—“

“Language, Evans,” the annoyingly familiar baritone of Sirius Black tsks, lighting up the cupboard with his wand and smirking in that jagged way she’s heard countless girls tittering over, and the one that makes her want to pop him one right against his ridiculously smug face.

“Black,” she says, caustic as all get out with her fists clenched against her sides and her brows making a really resilient effort to meet in the middle. “You’ve got thirty seconds before I hex your bollocks off.”

“Pff, and Jamie thinks you’re some sort of saint.”

“Twenty-eight. Twenty-seven. Twenty-six.”

Sirius pulls a face at her, but must understand the credence in the words, because it’s not another moment more before he pulls out a bedraggled looking slip of paper from his robe’s pocket, and thrusts it at her face. So with an indignant huff, Lily opens it up and begins scanning the words— becoming all the more confused when she sees measurements and things like coco powder and melted butter, instead of whatever the hell else she was preparing herself to read.

“I’m being pranked, aren’t I? You’re trying to distract me so you and Potter can do something horrid to the Slytherin’s common room.”

“We’ve actually already done that today,” Sirius jeers, raising up his hands in concession with a cluck of the tongue at her scowling face. “’s from Moony’s mum, all right. I asked her to send me the recipe of this chocolate cake she use to make him for his birthdays before Hogwarts— I just thought… It might be nice is all, and you can sod right off if you look at me like that, Evans, with the soft eyes and all that rot. Are you going to help me or not?”

Lily resolutely ignores the pang to her heart, because God, this really is such a sweet gesture. “And what? you thought I could help you because I’m a bird?” She asks in the most scolding inflection she could muster in the face of this incredibly soppy gift he wants to give Remus.

“None of that, blimey, Evans.” Sirius snarls, obviously diffident, and combined with the faint flush to his cheeks, Lily suddenly realizes why he’s considered one of the best looking blokes in the entirety of their school. “There’s a whole load of Muggle mumbo jumbo, so it was between asking you, or McDonald, and I adore Mary and all, but she has got such a mouth on her.”

“You should know,” Lily counters with a leer. “She couldn’t stop going on about your date back in October.”

Sirius’s brows hike, and he actually smiles at her— one that’s vacant from all his bravado from his upbringing in his pretentious, pure blood home, and one that isn’t trying to show off. And Lily can’t help but favoringly liken him to an excited pug. “Oh you’re wicked, Evans!” He shrills delightedly. “Oh this is great, you’re just as depraved as Remus, are all prefects like this?”

Lily snorts, shaking her head at him, indulgent. “Never mind that, Black. Most of this stuff can be found in the kitchens below, I’m sure the house elves won’t mind us borrowing anything.”

“And the ingredients that won’t be down their?” He asks worriedly.

“Well, good on you planning this so far ahead of time, we’ll just have to experiment.”

Sirius groans in retort, muttering things about Muggle potions and James thinking he’s getting off with his future wife and other ridiculous things that Lily doesn’t bother to stay and listen to. Though, when Remus’s birthday does roll around, and she sees his countenance go a thousand shades brighter as he bites into the pudding, and Sirius’s grin stretch just that much more across his face in response— their eyes meeting across the room and past the crowds— Well Lily suspects Sirius never really minded any of the things he was whinging on about, not at all, not as long as the result was a beaming Remus.

~III~

Regulus hears about it in the halls.

He’s not much for gossip or that sort of dribble, doesn’t have much patience for anyone outside his house if he’s being at all frank— and even then, it’s not as if he doesn’t frequently find himself escaping to his fourposter for a moment’s quiet. It seems that everyone in this bloody castle are just dimwitted, daft idiots, and Regulus’s never been the sort to offer allowances for that kind of behavior. He’s been raised in the home of a family as close to royalty as Wizards permit, a prince among men. And he was told that he should have patience for the dull folks beneath him, just as long as they have the correct ideals, but sometimes he can’t help but wish they would all just let him be, sometimes feels like he’s being carted around Hogwarts as the perfect pure blood, like he was nine years old again and being shown off in the parlor of his home when guests came to call, watching from the sidelines while his mother rave about how splendid of an heir Sirius is turning out to be. How his tutor calls him a genius for any age, and how darling he looks in Slytherin green, and how he’s already mastered three romance languages to help in his spell work.

And Regulus can’t help but scoff at those contemplations now, thinking of the past summer when his dramatic and brash brother had made a whole production of leaving behind the values that gave him everything he has. How he escaped to that Potter git’s home the way he’s been doing for nearly every holiday since his second year, how he offered Regulus to come along as if he’s a trader just like him. What a risible excuse for an heir.

But Regulus won’t commit such follies, he’ll make his parents proud— even if his father is nearly never paying much mind and his mother goes from raving to sickly in a blink of an eye. It doesn’t matter, because he’ll carry on the Black legacy, something that his oh so perfect brother never could’ve done. Regulus is only a fifth year, will be turning sixteen in only two months after Sirius’s coming of age, and sure, this might mean he’s still young enough that the Death Eaters don’t find him adequate to fight on the line of fire, but he’ll do it eventually, feels the weight of the letter from Bellatrix praising him for as much resting heavy in his pocket. And if Regulus finds them all a bit too vicious or a bit too excitable and completely lacking a deft hand to make the changes they’re searching for, he shrugs it off. He knows what he must do, and as he stares at his brother from across the valley cusping the lake, he’s only that much more steadfast in the conviction of the fact.

Sirius is sitting and laughing with a group of his Gryffindor mates, the mudbloods, and blood traders that had warped him from the brother he knew to the stranger he is now. And there’s a dark skinned Ravenclaw bird— Meadowes if he remembers correctly from his prefect meetings— and she’s telling some sort of long winded tail with hand gestures and loud cackling coming from the group as she goes on. And Sirius is tossing around a quaffle with Potter— the glint of a handsome, silver watch on his wrist catching in the dying sunlight. And Regulus wonders who had gifted him such a personal passage to adulthood, but is soon distracted by spotting the way Sirius nearly gets smacked in the face with the ball because he was too busy gawking over at Lupin in such a stripped down, cautious way that it makes Regulus squirm.

He doesn’t know much about the elder Prefect, only that his name had come up nearly as much as Potters during that first year when Sirius would send him correspondence on a frequent basis because he knew how lonely Regulus would get while stuck in Grimmauld all by himself. And then when he began attending Hogwarts, Regulus never could get a good reading on him. He knew Potter because of how his family is infamous for their liberal views and nouveau riche attitudes, and Pettigrews family owns a hokey herb shop in Diagon. All he’s found out about the Lupins is that his father is the son of half-bloods and his mother is a Muggle, and that this mudblood is a reserved, carefully aloof bugger, and that somehow he’s seemingly captured all of Sirius’s attentions that he’s not giving Potter or the clinger ons who follow him around like mindless fools. Beyond that, Lupin and Regulus have only traded a hand full of words whenever their roles of prefects would force them to intermingle, and it’s always been punctuated by Lupin giving Regulus a witheringly cold look anytime they were in close proximity, which is admittedly impressive considering that half the time the sickly bastard looks like he’s about ready to keel over.

So no, Regulus doesn’t know much about him, but he’s heard the rumors. He knows that it’s basically an open secret between the Gryffindor class and selected friends. The fact that his brother is probably shagging the mudblood, convincing Regulus that Sirius really has never given a toss about the decorum and standards befalling them as the only two Black males of their generation. And he hates his brother so scathingly right then, hates his little munblood lover probably even more.

And when he watches Lupin straying his gaze from the novel he was reading while that red haired Muggle born was resting her head in his lap, and Regulus saw the way both of their expressions went a peculiar sort of tender— well that’s the last straw, so he stands up in a huff— so unlike himself— and he cuts the story Mulciber was crowing on about, and he tells them he needs to complete a scroll for Slughorn.

And while he prowls away from the sight of his brother continuing to ruin everything, Regulus plunges a hand into his pocket, and crunches Bellatrix’s letter in his grasp, promises himself to write her back soon, and ignores the ache in his chest that’s only been growing larger since Sirius had left permanently.

~IV~

James’s always known.

Perhaps that’s an over reach, but it’s true enough. He’s known for years, on some level, that the thing between Sirius and Remus is something completely foreign to him. Something completely separate from how Sirius licks his face when James is over sleeping and he wants to be a general nuisance. Separate from how he and Remus have begun discussing anything and everything in the wee hours of the morning, with a spot of tea between them and a blanket on their legs, because Remus can’t sleep from the moon and James has never been able to sleep through the whole night without feeling guilty over it. He thinks it stemmed from when he was younger, when his parents were feeling sickly, and before they were gifted a house elf by a family friend who recognized that the elderly Potters needed just a bit more assistance.

James never knew whether it was obvious to him because he’s always considered Sirius as his bastard brother since Christmas of first year, and that he’s always trying to make sure that Remus is all right after finding out just how impressively the bloke can keep secrets once Sirius figured out his furry little problem. So he’s not sure what others know, or even what Remus and Sirius know of what’s happening between them, honestly, there have been so many almosts that James has picked up on over the years. And he still shutters thinking about the near total break that happened with the prank, still isn’t quite sure what had past between them to get Sirius and Remus speaking with each other once more, but he does know that Remus staying with James, Sirius, and Peter the past summer after Sirius escaping the twisted place he was suppose to call a home, is what helped indefinitely. And now, a year separate from the prank, things finally feel normal between them.

Well— Erm, not normal per se. Those idiots are still blustering and bumbling and bashfully avoiding one another when anything close to romantic comes up in a discussion or when their hands touch over the Great Hall table or whenever James makes a pointed remark when he catches one of them staring a bit too slack jawed at the other in the midst of something totally bloody innocuous in the eyes of a normal person— EG: Sirius gathering his hair— that’s nearly to the bottom of his neck now a days— into a small knot on the back of his head, or Remus sucking idly on a sugar quill while he’s revising. And sure, James has to deal with the kicks at his ankles, or a spare jinx if one of them is especially pissy, but Lily’s come to join him in the ribbing, so it kind of makes everything all right. Especially when she levels her beautiful, forrest green eyes with his own brown ones, and she actually looks sort of endeared.

Yeah— that’s a fucking amazing feeling all right, and it’s probably the memory of that happening only a few hours ago that has got James all jittery now, far past midnight. So with a tired sigh, he slides open the drapes of his fourposter, is ready to go downstairs for a kitchen raid if Remus isn’t awake— Though once he sets his glasses on, and blinks a few times over to get acclimated with the dark, he’s only a bit stunned to find the shapes of Remus and Sirius crowded on the former’s bed— and they’re really not much more than suggestions beneath the shadows, but it’s enough for James to see Sirius’s head bent low, resting it against the crook of Moony’s neck and shoulder, while the shorter boy has got his arms wrapped around Sirius’s torso. And it’s nothing obscene, not really— it’s not like they’re nude or anything— but Sirius is shirtless, and Remus does have this blissed out expression painted over his features, that James would bet good money is the same one Sirius has got on if most of his face wasn’t covered by his hair.

And in another breath, Remus’s honey colored eyes flap open, widening exponentially when he catches sight of James, and wiggling around as if he wants to move away from Sirius completely, which is of course stunted when Sirius makes a low noise under his breath, and presses closer so that his mouth is quite literally right against Remus’s neck, and his arms tug him closer.

And James is definitely convinced that he’s the best mate any bloke could ask for when instead of chuckling at the obvious show of territorialism, he just shakes his head indulgently at them, mouthing an “About time plonker,” to Remus, who replies in kind with a hefty, two fingered salute.

This time James has to bite down to prevent his chuckle from spilling out.

“And here I was, about to offer you a snack from our dear house elves.” He whispers, hopefully quiet enough so that only Remus could hear.

“Oh, just bugger off,” Remus retorts, smiling with such mirth that James can’t even feign to be affronted over it, only follows the playful command and tries figuring out just how to give the ‘If you hurt him I’ll hurt you’ talk to the pair of them without it coming across insincerely.

~+I~

Millie was bored until she saw them.

The only reason why Millie got this boring job in this beyond posh restaurant is because her folks reckon that she needs to learn some form of responsibility before university, and she hates it. The pay is absolute shite, and most of her coworkers are all levels of boring, and the patrons are not nearly entertaining enough to try and make up some secret back story of tumultuous affairs or secret agents from the MI6, or a royal from some country on the continent meeting their star-crossed lover.

It’s all just painfully ordinary, and she’s cursing her parents while she chomps on her gum, reading some stupid note by an ugly old fart who left her his number on the receipt.

Scoffing while she bins it, Millie glances over to the newly occupied table in her section, heart immediately leaping once she gets a good look at the pair of blokes sitting down.

The sandy haired one is definitely cute in that reserved way her best friend Claire would definitely be mad over— the guy who could read you poetry in French or Italian and then gently kisses the back of your hand. And that’s all and well, but Millie’s every attention is laser focussed on his mate, the one that looks like he can be bloody James Bond with those smoldering eyes and that ink black hair, and God, those cheekbones! Definitely one of those beautiful, Public school boys who’s born and bread by the patrician. And while she takes their orders, she tosses him her most flattering of grins and slips in her giggle that an ex boyfriend compared to silver bells, and is sure to flip her long, chestnut hair enough times so he’d notice, even if she’s pretty sure he’s either pissed or probably more than a bit stoned. (Truly, where the bloody hell would he come up with pumpkin juice? How horrid must that taste).

Millie may or may not spend an unreasonable amount of time spying at them from where the cooks drop off the completed plates to be sent away. He’s just so bloody good looking, and she can’t believe this awful job has finally brought her such an amazing distraction, and the arse doesn’t even pay her much mind, leaving the ordering and the conversing to his fair haired friend.

Maybe he’s sensitive, she thinks to herself. Maybe he’s just a shy soul. And yes, that must be it! The poor, beautiful sod. She’s sure to make her intentions clear next time she thinks it’s appropriate to top off their waters, because she’s so very gracious like that.

“Enjoying yourselves?” Millie asks in her most light hearted of cadences, filling up the shorter one’s glass but smiling fully and exclusively to the boy who looks like he should be starring in some sort of Brook’s Brothers advert.

“Ta,” the sandy haired boy says, sounding a bit amused at her dilemma, but it’s kind enough so Millie doesn’t feel brassed off over it. “Do you mind pointing me to the loo?”

“Oh of course!” She crows, suddenly ecstatic as she directs him, finally getting a chance to be alone with the model. Though when she turns her attention to him once the other one leaves to take a leak, she’s kind of confused how he’s staring after him with a glance she vividly remembers on the face of her ex whenever she’d peer back around to ensure he was watching her go— Though, if Millie’s being honest, the model somehow looks simultaneously eager to watch the back of him, but also already disheartened not to have him around in ways she doubts anyone she’s ever gone out with has ever exhibited. “He’s a nice chap,” she states, instead of marinating on the strangeness of this development.

The practical model starts, seems to have forgotten about her presence all together, but then he glances over towards her with those impossibly flattering, pale gray eyes, and he nods disinterestedly. And yeah, yikes. That is a total hit to Millie’s ego.

“Ahem,” she clears her throat, begins twisting her free hand into the material of her apron. “’S nice you guys came for dinner, you don’t see much friends considering how bloody expensive it is here, hah.”

Millie feels herself going absolutely scarlet at the impassive way he drags his gaze up and down her form before taking a swig of his Bellini. “He’s not my friend.”

“Oh,” Millie practically squeaks out, suddenly wonders if maybe he’s a tutor from his class or something? Maybe the model is just taking the cute one out to dinner as a thanks for helping him pass his A-levels? Maybe this is considered cheap in the circles that the model keeps.

“’S our one year anniversary actually,” he tells her, still in that methodical, blasé way of his. And oh. Oh wow! Suddenly everything is snapping into clarity.

The way the two boys had brushed the back of their hands before being seated, how model had trusted the other boy to order for him, how model never looked away from the cute one’s mouth or collarbones or hands as they spoke. How whenever she came around to ask if they needed anything else, it felt like she was intruding on more than just a couple of mates catching up.

Oh Jesus, she feels like such an idiot, and Millie tells the model just as much.

“I’m sorry, I’m an idiot! I didn’t even put it together.”

Remarkably, the model’s rigid posture goes a bit loose at her apology, and the corner of his thin lips quirk up into a grin. “’S fine, he didn’t want to make a fuss out of it, but yeah— Just feels good telling someone.”

Millie nods eagerly, she can’t understand exactly what he means, obviously not, but she can definitely try to, and if it feels good for him to tell a random bird about something so important, then she’s more than happy to help. “Well the point stands, yeah? He seems like a good sort, you’re lucky to have found each other.”

The model’s grin goes elastic at that, and he looks actually approachable for the first time tonight. “I’m the luckiest bloke in the world that I get to be with him.”

Millie flushes at the intensity embedded into his statement, but thankfully doesn’t have to answer when she hears the sandy haired boy walking closer now, smiling so brightly that there’s a dimple popping up on the apple of his cheek that Millie’s only just noticed— The mirth is a good color on him, she reckons. Makes him look as gorgeous as those boys on the telly dramas her Mum is always gushing about, even his eyes turn more golden than light brown. “You pestering our waitress Padfoot?”

“You know I keep my devilish tongue for you and you alone Moonbeam,” the model—Padfoot cannot be his actual name for heaven’s sake— retorts.

“Lucky me,” the sandy haired boy says wryly as he takes a seat, and while Millie walks away— intending to get them a pudding that’s on the house to celebrate the milestone of their relationship— she peers back around only once and it’s enough to see the tips of their fingers kissing across the table, and their smiles looking like a secret language not meant for anyone else to read.

My Full Wolfstar FIC Masterlist💜

#WOLFSTAR #REMUS LUPIN #SIRIUS BLACK #WOLFSTAR FLUFF #REMUSXSIRIUS #SIRIUSXREMUS #HARRY POTTER SERIES #MARAUDERS #Spilt Ink #I'm sorry if you hate this sugarplum #Like legit #idk what I am on #JFC #I suck #flksadjgaklsgjoewiajfsg

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mindofharry · 3 years

Text

Garden Song

chapter 2 - motion sickness - garden song.

It’s been two years since the divorce between Julie and Grayson. A lot has changed. Grayson wants Julie more than ever. Will she take him back?

TW: some of the stuff mentioned in this series might trigger some people. please don’t read if you get triggered easily!

“i’m pregnant?”

Julie asked sarah, fear already taking over body. She had definitely done into some sort of shock. Julie placed a hand over her mouth and sat down on the toilet slowly, trying to comprehend this. Sarah had put the pregnancy test in the sink, and bent down in front of her friend.

“Is it graysons?” Sarah asked, no judgement evident in her voice. Julie looked down at her hands and let out a sob and nodded. “Hey, hey. It’s ok, i’m here” Sarah said pulling her into a hug.

“Everything was going ok” Julie paused letting out a breath. “The boys are so happy, Grayson has changed, really he has. He’s such a good dad and he’s been good to me. This baby, fuck, This baby would just ruin everything” Julie said, feeling so guilty. Sarah nodded and ran her fingers through julies curly hair. “We’ve been having sex for a couple weeks. We’ve been acting like we’re married, but it feels so good sarah. I feel so loved and happy” Julie cried pulling out of the hug.

“Why can’t god just let me be happy? Why did he decide that i didn’t deserve it?” Julie asked and sarah’s eyes filled up with tears.

No one deserved to be this sad, sarah thought. Julie is too good for this world, she deserves so much more.

“You’re deserve happiness, julie. Out of everyone i know, you deserve it so so much. Don’t let a man or a baby get in the way of that” Sarah said standing up. “Now, do i need to book an appointment for a scan or an abortion?” she asked and julies eyes widened.

“Sarah, i love you” Julie said and sarah’s eyes softened.

“I love you too, jules”

“But, um i need to tell grayson. He’ll be happy to do whatever i decide i think, but if i’m going ahead with an abortion he deserves to know before i go and it” Julie said and Sarah nodded.

“So you’re not worried about him leaving again?” Sarah asked and julie bit her lip shrugging. “I mean, there’s a part of me that’s preparing myself for it to happen. He’s so unpredictable lately. He may not leave the boys, but i have feeling he might leave me” She said and sarah cleared her throat and grinned.

“Well, you’ll always have me. I’m not going anywhere, whatever your decision is, ok?”

After cleaning herself up a bit, julie opened a bottle of wine for sarah to have. “I’ll drink twice as much for you” Sarah teased, Julie giggled and opened up a diet coke for herself.

Sarah left shortly after leaving julie to her own thoughts. Is this really happening? Would she be able to parent and look after three kids? And as she said, Grayson is unpredictable. The worst kind of unpredictable. She doesn’t know if she’d be able to parent three kids by herself. She’s too tired. Julies always wanted 5 kids when she was younger. Grayson agreed with her, saying they’d have their own little soccer team. They’d have 4 boys and 1 girl. Julie always wanted older brothers to look after her. She’d wonder would this baby have a good life, considering the boys’ life has been a bit rocky.

Is she emotionally and mentally able to have another child? Even to give up for adoption, is Julie able to go through a pregnancy right now? There was too many questions swimming around her brain, and it was overwhelming her. She needed to be calm and collected while talking to grayson. She didn’t want him to leave without having a full conversation.

Fuck, where did everything go wrong. The boys were both dropped home and tucked in no time. Grayson came to collect them early that morning for a boys day. The spend the day out in the park and in a nice restaurant.

“Julie? I’m home!” Grayson called out, the boys tumbling in. “Take off your shoes” Grayson told them hanging up their coats. The boys sat at the end of the stairs taking off their shoes, as told. They lined them up at the end of the stairs, grayson smiled at them.

“Go on and get some chocolate. Don’t tell mama” Grayson teased and the boys squealed running to the kitchen. Grayson walked into the living room to see julie laying on the couch. “Was gonna go out and do the food shop, but if you’re feeling too bad i can stay?” Grayson offered and Julie nodded.

“We can just get take out” Julie said rubbing her stomach, Grayson thought nothing of it. He just thought it was comforting her and helping her through the pain.

“Can we talk later?” Julie asked and Grayson furrowed his brows in confusion, but nodded anyways.

What could julie want to talk about?

“Mama!” Sebastian and Alexander yelled running in and basically sitting on julie. Julie, even as nauseous as she was, put a smile on her face and pulled through for her babies. Graysons face softened and sat down at the edge of the couch smiling at the interactions. The boys climbed all over julie kissing her face repeatedly, enjoying the sound of her laugh (more like cackle). Grayson never wanted this time to end.

He just had a feeling this wasn’t going to last forever.

Julie remembered times like this when grayson wasn’t around. The house was a little blue, but her boys smiling and laughing lit it up. The house was still a little blue, and she had a feeling it was going to stay that colour for a little while longer.

At least she’d always have her boys.

After dinner, the boys went upstairs to watch a movie before bed. They’re new obsession is the harry potter series, weirdly enough they’re actually able to stay away for all three hours that the movie goes on for. Sebastian is more interested than alexander, but they still both love it.

“The boys are upstairs, you want some wine?” Grayson asked pulling out a wine glass for himself. Julie shook her head and grayson smirked. “You never say no to a glass a wine, are you pregnant?” He teased laughing loudly, pulling out another wine glass expecting julie to laugh along too. When he turned around he saw julie about to break down. He could tell she was holding back a sob.

Fuck.

“You’re pregnant?” He asked putting down the glass. He rested his hands on the counter.

It was silent.

“Julie, answer me” Grayson said loudly, making her jump. Grayson sighed and placed a hand over his eyes. Julie cleared her throat. “I’m pregnant, took the test yesterday. I haven’t gone to the doctors yet” Julie said and grayson sighed feeling himself become really angry.

“Are you sure it’s mine?” He asked before he could even think about what he was going to say. Julies eyes widened and let out a bitter laugh. “Grayson i’ve been having sex with you for nearly months. Of course, it’s yours” She let out and grayson nodded.

“It’s just a lot to take in, Jules” He said and Julie nodded.

“I understand that” She said and let out a sob. “Please don’t leave me. I can’t handle being alone again” she cried and grayson sighed and walked around to pull her into a hug.

“I’m here to stay, julie. I’m not leaving again. But i don’t know if i can be a parent to three kids, i don’t know if you’re able to either. We’re really good right now, we’re in an amazing place with the boys. This baby would just ruin things” Grayson said rubbing his hands up her back.

“This baby would ruin us”

Julie pulled back and her brows furrowed. Ruin us? Their relationship?

“What do you mean?” She asked and grayson sighed leaning against the counter. “If you have this baby, it’s the end for us. Whatever this is was never going to last, Julie. We were just having fun. So if you have this baby, i’m not gonna be here for the booty call side of things. I’m a dad only” He said and julie took a step backwards.

“Booty calls?” She asked her eyes widening. “You fucking begged me take you back into my bed. You were practically crying the first time we have sex again” Julie seethed.

“It was never a bit of fun, Grayson” Julie paused looking up at grayson. “At least it wasn’t to me” she said and grayson tried to touch her again, to comfort her. But she shook her head “I don’t know what i’m going to do with the baby yet. But i do know whatever relationship we had before, it’s gone and done” she said. “If i go ahead with the abortion, do not come crawling back. You had your chance” Julie said and began walking of the kitchen.

“Yeah, go ahead just leave” grayson yelled after her. “Like you always do” He mumbled. Julie turned around and glared at him. “Me? Leaving like i always do?” she asked and grayson nodded with a horrible and disgusting look on his face.

“You LEFT me!” Julie yelled pointing at grayson. “You cheated on me, you lied to me, you gaslighted me, you left your sons, you did this all grayson dolan. You LEFT ME!” Julie cried and she was beginning to walk away but she stopped and turned around once more.

“But i guess it’s me that feels stupid now. i gave you another chance, after you fucking destroyed this family” Julie said and turned around to walk out of the kitchen once more. “Lock up when you’re leaving” she mumbled walking upstairs.

The boys were still watching their movie, which was good. She didn’t want them go through this again - so julie would keep this to herself. It’s better for everyone else if grayson and julie just kept their problems to themselves.

She gave a lifetime giving him her heart, and grayson constantly broke it. Constantly.

Julie sighed and sat down on the bed. Her phone dinged, she was guessing it was grayson. Julie picked it up and read the message.

ethan: coming home soon. i hope i’m still welcome in your home. i love you.

oh fuck.

Julie is pregnant, with her ex husbands baby. Her ex husband doesn’t want this baby or her for that matter - her ex boyfriend, that happens to be her ex husbands brother is coming home after breaking her heart in two.

Everything is going great.

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missnight0wl · 4 years

Text

What’s happening in Poland?

Hey. I might stop my regular posting for a day or so because frankly, I’m quite overwhelmed with what’s happening in Poland. And I actually want to talk about it. You don’t have to read it, but I’ll be grateful if you do. I don’t have a big reach, but it’s always one person more knowing what we’re going through, and I guess that getting attention is the most we can do now, at least outside our country.

The Catholic Church and its value are extremely important in Poland. Unfortunately, it has little to do with love and mercy, but a lot with hatred: towards women, towards LGBT people… towards anyone different. It happens that the leading party, Prawo i Sprawiedliwość (PiS; Law and Justice), is proud of their connection to the Church, which basically means to us that while the Church officially doesn’t have power in Poland – it really does. There’s also one person who decides about everything in our country: Jarosław Kaczyński. The sad thing that technically, he’s nobody. I mean, he is the leader of PiS, and he’s been designated as Deputy Prime Minister recently, but… that’s it. Yet, we all know that he controls everyone, and everyone is scared of him. Our president is a wuss who can only sign things which Jarek tells him to sign, our Prime Minister, Mateusz Morawiecki, is incapable of independent thinking as well. The government is failing terribly at dealing with the pandemic, and said Prime Minister, claimed in June what coronavirus is in retreat, and that people don’t have to wear masks (sic!). Now we’re having at least 10 thousand new cases daily. And what they’re doing? They sentence all Polish women for hell.

Since 1993, abortion in Poland was allowed in only 3 cases:

if the pregnancy was a result of rape or incest,

if the mother's health was at risk,

in case of foetal defects.

On October 22nd 2020, Poland's top court ruled abortion due to foetal defects unconstitutional, basically making abortion illegal.

The law is not valid just yet, but it will also mean hell for doctors. Because it says about things like that anyone who causes the death of an unborn child, will be punished with three years of imprisonment. In other words, a doctor who’d be about to try to save a mother while risking death a child will probably decide to do nothing. Why? Because if a child and/or a mother dies, they’d have to not only live with that fact. They’d have to deal with it while in jail. Also, ectopic pregnancy won’t be able to remove such pregnancy until a woman starts bleeding out, even though he could do it safely BEFORE her life is at risk.

After the decision was announced, women went protesting in front of Kaczyński’s house. The police arrived, and eventually, the pepper spray was used. The next day when more protests were planned, the police showed on the streets in helmets and with shields. It is also said that Kaczyński was moved “somewhere safe”.

Morawiecki decided that starting tomorrow, the army will help the police, which allegedly is connected to coronavirus, but somehow, we all know it’s because of the protests. And we’re scared. I’m personally also scared to join the protests because of covid, and it’s not even just about me getting sick. My roommate is a teacher in kindergarten, and they’re still open. If I get sick, I’d bring it to her, and she’d bring it to her work... Well, the government will probably say that more infection is women’s fault anyway… They want to distract us from how much they’re failing, and they did it in the most harmful way.

And the sad thing is that this decision is not only incredibly cruel – it doesn’t even make sense in their own logic! A lot of those pregnancies might end with mother’s death or complications leading to her not being to get pregnant EVER AGAIN! How does it help in creating your fucking beautiful catholic families? But that’s the problem, they don’t understand that and they don’t want to understand that. They’re really calling it a win for the life because apparently, they think that women get an abortion for own pleasure and ONLY when it’s about a child with Down syndrome. Seriously that’s like the single example they’re using. They can’t comprehend that there are children born without a heart, without a brain, without lungs. Children who WON’T SURVIVE. But it gets better as they also want to ban all prenatal examination. Because you know, you have to give birth anyway, so what’s the difference? You’re just gonna have a surprise whether you’ll have to buy a crib or a coffin.

We’re calling it a war. The government pretends that nothing happens.

The public media (also controlled by PiS) claims that there were a couple of hundreds of protestors. There are THOUSANDS of people in every Polish city. They compared the symbol we’re using (the red bolt) to the symbol used by Schutzstaffel.

They complain that the protests are so vulgar (the most common slogan is “Wypierdalać!” which mean “Piss off!”), but that’s the only language they can understand. One of the far-right activists criticizing the protestors called them “wulgarne kurewki” (“vulgar little bitches”). Besides, we’re just tired. We’re just so fucking tired of this government that no other words can express it. And they’re getting the respect they deserved for.

We’re tired, we’re scared, we’re angry, we’re pissed off. I just feel like crying when I think that there are such people, with no empathy for the others. That they have partners, wives, daughters, granddaughters… and I don’t understand how they can look them in the eyes.

#poland #abortion #piekło kobiet

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worryinglyinnocent · 4 years

Text

Fic: Family Matters

Summary: Belle and Gold spring into action after Neal calls them in an emergency, and Belle reflects on the meaning of family.

Written for the @a-monthly-rumbelling January non-smut prompt: Dealing with a family crisis.

Rated: T

CW: Medical themes, pregnancy loss.

Family Matters

It was a perfectly normal Friday night when they got the call. The only sound was the ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner. Belle was curled up on the chaise longue with a book, and Gold was sitting in his armchair browsing the catalogue for the auction he was going to in Boston the next week.

His phone ringing wasn’t normally a cause for alarm, but it was rare enough for someone to call him at eleven o’clock at night that it sent a current of worry through his veins, and the current of worry increased when he looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Neal.

Belle looked up, her brow furrowing in concern. “Who is it?”

“It’s Neal.”

“Strange for him to be calling so late.”

“Very.” He answered, and almost immediately, the current of worry turned into a full torrent.

“Dad, Emma’s in the hospital and I don’t know what to do.”

Neal's voice was choked, on the verge of tears, and Gold took a deep breath, trying to calm the torrent. Neal was an adult now and a father himself, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t also still need his own father to rescue him every now and then.

“Ok, what happened?” He beckoned Belle over so that she could hear as well.

“She’s had really bad stomach pains all day, she thought it was just something she ate. It just kept getting worse and worse until she passed out… I saw her drop, I barely caught her in time… I called 911 and they took her into the hospital, they think she’s got some internal bleeding somewhere…”

“OK. We’re coming. How’s Henry doing?”

“He’s ok, just a bit shaken, he doesn’t really understand what’s going on.”

“Just hold on for a little while. Belle and I are coming.”

“Thanks Dad. I’ll see you soon.”

Belle was already in the hallway pulling on her coat and boots, and Gold took a few moments to check that the house was secure and grab the insurance paperwork from his office - Emma should have been covered by the Sheriff’s office but it paid to be prepared. The drive across town to Neal and Emma’s apartment did not take long, but every moment of it was spent in tense silence. Neal was standing on the doorstep waiting for them, an anxious-looking Henry balanced on his hip, aware that something bad was happening but that it was too much for his one-year-old brain to try and comprehend.

“Hey Henry,” Belle cooed, taking him out of Neal’s arms and giving her stepson a little peck on the cheek, whispering it’ll be ok, I promise in his ear. “Why don’t you come with Nana Belle and we’ll let Daddy and Grandpa get everything sorted out, eh? You should be in bed, it’s very late. I guess all the commotion woke you up.”

Belle took Henry back into the apartment and Neal, no longer having to worry about staying calm and focussed on his son, crumpled against Gold’s shoulder. Neal had never been the most physically affectionate of people, not really a hugger, and the fact he was crying on his father’s shoulder stood as testament to just how scared he was for Emma.

“Let’s go to the hospital,” Gold said. “I think you need to be there. I can always come back and get anything that Emma might need.”

“I’ll be ok, I just needed someone to come watch Henry, I can go…”

“Neal, I don’t want you ending up in the hospital as well.” He held up Neal’s hand, which was still shaking. “I’ll drive. Belle’s got Henry. We’re all here.”

Neal nodded, going back inside to grab his things before following Gold out to the Cadillac.

“Thanks for dropping everything,” he murmured as they set off towards the hospital.

“It’s what families do. You’d have done the same if it was Belle.”

Neal nodded. “Yeah, I would.”

The rest of the drive to the hospital was made in silence. As worried as he was about Emma, Neal gave Gold something to focus on, knowing that he had to be strong so that Neal could be afraid. He thought back over all the family crises that they had lived through so far; mercifully, there were few of them. This was certainly the first time any of them had been in the hospital since Henry was born, and whilst Neal had done his fair share of panicking at the time, that had ultimately been a joyous occasion rather than a crisis.

Gold could only hope that the outcome here would be a good one in the long run.

Belle settled herself in the armchair in the corner of Henry’s room, cradling the tired toddler on her lap. She opened the picture book that she had selected to try and get him back to sleep, but she didn’t start reading it for a few minutes, wondering what could have happened and hoping against hope that Emma would be ok. She was certainly in the best hands, but that didn’t stop Belle from worrying.

Still, there was nothing she could do to help Neal and Gold and Emma, and the most useful thing she could do was to stay here with Henry. The poor boy could obviously tell that something dreadful was going on, and if she could reassure him and get him off to sleep so that his parents didn’t have to worry about him as well as everything else that was happening, then that was what she would do.

She knew that children were far more intuitive than everyone gave them credit for, so Henry would probably be picking up on her unease even if he couldn’t actually give voice to that, so she took a deep breath and tried to keep her voice nice and even and sing-song.

“Ok Henry. Let’s see what Spot the Dog is up to tonight.”

By the time they finished with Spot, Henry was asleep again, curled up against Belle’s chest, and she sighed, deciding to sit with him for a while instead of putting him back to bed. His warm weight was a comfort to her, keeping her grounded and reminding her that there was a little human relying on her to keep him safe whilst his parents were dealing with other horrors. As long as she was holding Henry, Belle knew that she wouldn’t go to pieces.

She didn’t know how long she sat there in the dim light, listening to Henry’s soft breathing as she wondered what was happening in the hospital, looking at her phone every couple of seconds. It was on silent to avoid disturbing Henry, and she was nervous of somehow missing a call from Gold or Neal. The hours kept ticking by until she finally heard a key in the lock and someone tiptoe into the apartment.

“Belle?”

It was Gold’s whispered voice, and a moment later, he stepped into Henry’s room. He looked dead on his feet, but he smiled when he saw her sitting with Henry, and Belle took that to be a good sign.

“What’s going on?” she asked. “How’s Emma? Do they know what’s wrong?”

Gold nodded, coming over and leaning against the chair.

“It was an ectopic pregnancy.” He sighed. “Emma didn’t even know she was pregnant.”

“Is she going to be ok?”

“Yeah. She’s stable and on painkillers and they’ll operate in the morning. The doctors are quite confident.”

“How’s Neal holding up?”

“Well, he’s just about holding it together. He calmed down a lot after we could get in to see her. We both did. I forgot how much I hate hospital waiting rooms. He’s still there; I just came back to get a few things for Emma, I’ll bring him back later.” He was unable to stifle a yawn. “Sorry. The adrenaline’s wearing off now and I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah. I know the feeling. Still, at least it looks like the worst is over.”

They stayed there in silence for a while until Henry shifted in Belle’s arms and she decided that it would probably be a good idea to put him back in his bed so that he could get some better sleep. Hearing the news had lifted a great weight of uncertainty off her mind. Of course, they weren’t out of the woods just yet, there was still the operation in the morning, and it would take time for Emma to recover, but for now the crisis was, if not over completely, then at least manageable now.

She followed Gold out of Henry’s room, helping him pack bits and bobs for Emma’s stay in the hospital. It was one of the marks of what made a family a family, she thought, the way that they all acted in a situation like this. Belle would be the first to admit that theirs was not exactly the most conventional of families, since she was less than ten years older than her stepson and already happy to be an honorary grandmother, but she and Gold had swept in to help without a second thought. It was just what families did for each other.

In the hallway, as Gold was getting ready to make the trip back to the hospital, Belle slipped her arms around his middle, going up on her toes to kiss him.

“Thank you for making me part of this family,” she said.

Gold gave a soft laugh. “Even when you end up staying up half the night watching your step-grandson in the middle of a medical emergency?”

“Even then. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

“Me neither.” Gold kissed her again, and Belle closed the door after him with a little wave.

As long as they had each other, they’d weather any storm that life threw at them.

#A Monthly Rumbelling #rumbelle fic #rumbelle #Belle French #Mr Gold #Floof Family #background swanfire #toddler!Henry #Fic: Family Matters

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crowleyellestair · 5 years

Note

Hi! I don’t know if my last request went through cuz tumblr was being weird, but I asked for a Jaskier x pregnant reader with reader being scared to tell him and he finds out on his own, did it go through before? I’m not sure, I’m sorry if it did and your getting this twice!

AN/// I did not see it, so thank you again for taking time to re ask! This is a little longer than planned. I hope it’s what you were looking for!

I also have a smutty request coming out this weekend 😉

Masterlist

Also check out my other Jaskier stuff- I have a lot!

It wasn’t because Y/n thought he would be a bad father.

She thought he would actually make an amazing dad considering all the passion he puts into anything he loves. He may have sharp, cynical wit, but his heart truly laid in a place of optimism.

Y/n would wrack her brain, trying to think of any possible reason he wouldn’t make a great parent, coming up with nothing.

Being able to wake up to the sunrise, finding him sitting at his desk, turned to their child. He would always wake up before her, playing his lute, but he would be playing to their child. There wasn’t a shadow of doubt in her mind that the kid would inherent those blue eyes, being able to pierce her through the sunlight, just like Jaskier’s. Maybe the child would sing along- Maybe they could have a duet act at some point.

Of course, if that were to happen, she would need to stop daydreaming, and actually tell him he was going to be a father.

But what would happen?

Y/n would be left somewhere like Velen to live out her time ‘in peace’ until the child grew up. She would never think that Jaskier would leave her, but she wouldn’t live with herself if she had to make him stay in one spot. Though she wasn’t there the first time the dynamic duo met, she has heard both sides of the story, and it seemed to be a match made in heaven for the two. She would rather sacrifice her own sanity than keep the bard from what he truly wanted.

Jaskier was young and he had so much ahead of him. He’s seen the world, played for kings and queens- but inspiration can’t be made up from a barn in the middle of a bog. He needs Geralt, just as Geralt needs Jaskier.

Not that Y/n was expendable in their adventures, but if one had to leave, she would assume it would be her.

A Witcher is supposed to have alchemy training, and he has his Quen, allowing him to have a magical shield. The only person that really needed to be healed would be her, or maybe Jaskier if he had gotten himself in the crossfire. Geralt didn’t need her help fighting, though he never complained, he could live without her. Without a child as well.

Especially now that he had a child surprise on the way.

She was an adequate fighter and a healer- healers could be found everywhere! She hadn’t had too much magic ability, surely leaving Yen or Triss to be able to be more help.

They weren’t here now, however, which gave her peace of mind in her abilities, but it hadn’t lasted long.

The Noonwraith had been really getting to Geralt and her for a while now. The Witcher couldn’t keep up the stamina to capture it in a trap of his, and Y/n was on her last moon dust bomb.

Sadly, these were the only ways to take down these beasts.

She hadn’t been feeling good going into the fight, only finding out her secret a few nights prior, some of the symptoms already kicking in. Luckily, the trio had been staying at an inn that night, so she could puke in peace, not having to worry about getting out of ear shot of Geralt in the woods. After unloading her stomach that morning, she hadn’t really been up to much other than sitting on Horse and leaning on Jaskier.

Jaskier hadn’t seen a difference as nothing changed in her attitude- there actually had been, but she had acting chops. Y/n didn’t know if Geralt knew. He had some crazy senses that she couldn’t imagine fully comprehending. The two were close, so she knew he would speak to her first, in private, before saying anything to Jaskier, but what if Geralt would push them out? Geralt would refuse to let her continue with them in her condition, and he would insist Jaskier stay with her.

Of course, the two would need to make it out alive for any of that to happen.

The Noonwraith had been hurt, but Geralt had been having trouble keeping the thing in the trap. Once it’s out of the trap, it can hurt you, but you can’t touch it.

Geralt had been trying to muster up more magical power when the wraith disappeared. It had quickly reappeared behind him. It only took Y/n a moment to make a decision, quickly swatting it’s back. The attention of the beast quickly fell on her, the thing looming, and quickly striking. Geralt had gotten the trap down, swinging his sword, giving the beast a death blow. That, was of course, after the thing had given all its power into attacking the woman.

She dropped to the ground, the wraith falling on top of her. Geralt was quick to her side, but nervous when she wouldn’t open her eyes. The one thing he hated more than having a partner down in action, was having to carry her unconscious body back to a waiting Jaskier.

Even after his constant reassurance towards his bard, Jaskier couldn’t calm down, raising his voice and yelling for Geralt to get them to a healer.

Jaskier never yelled. It was unbecoming of him, and terrible for the vocal cords. But, when it came to Y/n, the person he had found real, true love in, well… It had certainly surprised Geralt.

She had stayed unconscious for a day, which gave Jaskier a lot of time to worry. He wouldn’t leave the tent, and reflected on the past few days. Ever the dramatic one, he reminisced over what may have been her last days alive- even though he knew she would be fine. But, his heart started to hurt after thinking about how dismissive she had been.

“I think, this might be the best apple juice I have ever had.” He paused, looking to his lover. She just shrugged, and he looked to his cup. “Yeah, you’re right. Probably can find something better, but I will definitely put this down as the best so far.” He leaned on the table, looking at Y/n’s far off look. His brows raised and he continued sarcastically. “Maybe I could write a song about it. Could probably become the best song ever written by ‘The Great Jaskier’. I could write a duet line for Geralt.”

All he received in response was a soft ‘sure’ and more far off looks. She had been looking through him, not touching her food they had gotten for breakfast.

“What’s wrong, Y/n?” That had seemed to snap her out of it, her gaze focusing on him. A flush rose ot her cheeks, and a small smile uncertainly stood on her lips. Her hand went up to hold his cheek, thumb swiping over his cheek bone.

“Nothing, Dandi. Just thinking.” He leaned into her touch, but his suspicious and caring gaze still lingered and pressed on.

“About what? Certainly, you can’t still be thinking about the lady in the woods.” She sat there, blinking at him. She could feel a nervous heat crawl up her spine and her smile fell. But she quickly threw it up again, dropping her hand. She made a move to get up while saying quickly,

“Nope, just thinking about your supposed duet with Geralt.”

He had thought of every little moment until the healer was done. But he was set on an entirely different course of thought when the healer said,

“They’ll both be fine.” He had immediately thought that a shifter or two had somehow merged and took her form, but when the healer also said, “congratulations, by the way,” he knew.

And he didn’t know what to do.

He wanted to celebrate, but his love is sitting in front of him, unconscious. Geralt certainly wasn’t the celebratory type either. He quickly knew that’s why she was acting strange. He wondered why she didn’t tell him, but none of his thoughts came to what the future held. It didn’t matter. Jaskier laid next to her on the cot, thinking about names. What traits would the child receive from him or Y/n. Unlike Y/n, he didn’t even bring his mind to music, assuming the child would take on healing. Maybe even becoming the best healer around, especially if they inherited magical power.

After a couple hours of him sitting in slence, she had woken up.

“I promise to be the best father.” Jaskier quickly pulled her nervous and shocked form into his arms. “Imagine what they’ll look like. Though, I don’t know what I’ll do with two people telling me about herbs that I can’t remember. Do you think it would be funny if we got them to call Geralt ‘uncle’?” She laid in his arms shocked. These were the first words she had heard after just waking up, and it definitely sobered her of all fatigue quickly.

“How did you-.”

“You were being reckless, had to be taking to a healer and they told me.” He was going to go on, but he felt her burrow into his chest.

“I’m…sorry for not telling you. I was just hoping we could get another month in.” His eyes widened.

“A month of what? Galivanting? We need to start making arrangements. I’m thinking in Novigrad. I could get my arts certificate at the university, and you can continue to play gwent. If I’m being honest, I can’t play with you any more. Your skill has gotten out of hand. I swear you might even be cheating-.”

“Are you sure you want to give up Geralt?”

“Grumpy, never says thank you, always leaves trash Geralt? I wouldn’t just leave you, Y/n.”

“I don’t want to hold you back-.” Jaskier shifted to get her face from inside his open doublet. His eyes pierced her as they always did. She could only find wonder and excitement in his eyes.

“You could never hold me back,” raw love flooding his words. Jaskier had to make light of the situation by adding,” And starting a music empire in one of the biggest cities wouldn’t be too bad.” Y/n smiled, nodding.

“If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure I want to spend the rest of my days with you in my arms.”

#jaskier x reader #jaskier imagine #witcher imagine #dandelion x reader

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soheila-1996 · 4 years

Text

My story- Part Five

This chapter was so difficult to write. I’ve really debated posting this over the last couple days because this is so personal.

I had a miscarrige last year and it’s approaching my son/daughter’s due date as well as what would have been my daughter’s fifth birthday on May 3rd. I’m finding this time really, really difficult. I wasn’t going to take this fic here but writting really is acting as an amazing outlet for me. I’ve really been able to get a lot off my chest. This chapter is all over the place, I apologise for that but I needed to get it out.

My little disclaimer:

I have epilepsy. This details my seizures, I can’t speak for everyone, everyone’s seizures/ experiences are different. This is graphic. Seizures are messy. They aren’t fun and it felt wrong to make it out to be cute when they really aren’t. Pretty much all the things that happen in the plot have happened to me. Well, I’m not married to a king or live in a palace so…there’s that but everything else is accurate. There may be some jokes about it here because I do joke about it sometimes. It makes me more comfortable and I find it helps relax everyone around me. I’m also writing about it because there really aren’t that many fics written about it and I think it’s important to shine light on it.

Any feedback is really appreciated! :)

Tagging people who shared the last part. You don’t have to read it! I just thought you might want to see what happens: @kacie-0156, @texaskitten30, @cordonianroyalty, @kingliam2019, @bebepac, @kingliam-rys, @cordonia-gothqueen, @kimmiedoo5, @bbrandy2002, @loveellamae @bobasheebaby @losingbraincellseveryday @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @jared2612 @flutistbyday2020 @debramcg1106 @anotherbeingsworld

This is also part of wacky drabbles hosted by @emceesynonymroll. The prompt this week is: #40: Don’t you ever do that again.

Paring: Liam and Riley

Warnings: ⚠️ Miscarriage, Suicidal thoughts, blood.

Word count: 4882

Catch up here

(Liam’s POV)

Since the events the other day at the fundraiser and the video, Riley had been...distant. That’s the only way I can explain it. She won’t talk to anyone and when she does, she’s not herself.

I had read some of the truly awful things people had been saying about her. I can’t comprehend how anyone could be so cruel to another human being. She had told me that it doesn't bother her but I know better. I’m positive that it would bother anyone.

Since I had learned about her epilepsy things were okay, then The Five Kingdom’s Festival happened- that’s where things started to go a little bit awry. I can see now that all of us were being a little bit overprotective but we- I was scared. Finding her that day was one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced. It was when she told me about the baby and her miscarrige in a previous relationship was when she started to pull away from me. Our conversations grew shorter and awkward, our passionate kisses became little pecks. It felt like we were growing apart but I don’t fully understand why.

(Riley’s POV)

Liam was down the hall in our home study and I was sitting in our bedroom on the bed, my phone in hand as I scrolled down the comments of the video of my seizure.

I know that looking at them isn't going to make me feel better but I want to know what people are saying about me.

When everything with Tariq happened the comments didn't bother me because I knew it didn't happen...but there was no denying this.

People continued to speculate on whether I was faking it, what was wrong with me if it was real, if I had overdosed and other random ridiculous theories.

I haven't really left our apartment or spoken to anyone- especially Liam. I’m embarrassed even though I can’t control it and I shouldn’t be but I am.

I can’t help it.

I feel like I've not only embarrassed myself but Liam too and my friends.

It astounds me how cruel people can be.

I continued to scroll down the despicable comments- once again only looking at the negative ones. At this point I’ve already read and thought so many despicable things that I've kind of become numb to it now. There’s nothing anyone can say that I haven't already thought of.

I feel the hot tears stinging as I continue to look through them.

Why would he want to be with her???

That’s so embarrassing and gross.

She can die from one of these, right? Great!

I don’t realise that I’m crying or that Liam has come into the room until his hands are resting on my shoulders and he’s kneeling in front of me.

“What’s wrong?”

“It doesn't matter,” I sniffled. I placed my phone down beside me and wiped at my eyes. Liam sat beside me as I brought my knees up to my chest.

“Talk to me,” he encouraged.

He doesn't understand. He can’t. How could I possibly explain to him what I’m feeling right now?

He’d be better off right? He wouldn't have to be constantly worried and stressed about me. He could find someone else, someone who makes him happy and doesnt hurt him.

“Please?”

He moved so he was sitting in front of me. He brought his hands up, both cupping either side of my face as his thumbs wiped the tears away.

“Please talk to me.”

“And say what?” I shrugged, “ That I don’t want to do any of this anymore? Or how I’m so terrified that I’m going to murder our baby so I’m pushing you away so when it happens you’ll already hate me? Is that what you wanted me to tell you?!” My chest was now rising and falling quickly from my outburst. Liam opened his mouth to speak but opted against it.

I mean what did I expect? He’s probably thinking the same things I am.

“Wh-” He started, swallowing thickly. “What do you mean you don’t want to do this anymore?” I stayed silent. I don't know what to say or how to say it. “What’s going on in that head of yours, Ri?” He asked calmly.

I swallowed thickly. If I was being honest, I don’t know. It’s more than what people have been saying online. Those things of course bother me but it’s not anything I haven’t heard before. That’s not what’s caused this.

I shrugged at his question. I don’t know what’s going on or even if I know how do I explain it? I feel lost and..and hopeless and scared. I’m really scared.

“Riley?”

“I-I just don’t want to do this anymore.” I swallowed thickly as I turned my head to look at him.

“What don’t you want to do anymore?”

“All of it.” I saw the fear flash across my husband's face. “I don’t want to be here anymore,” I said, my voice monotone. I know that I’m going to start crying, I know that i’ve just hurt Liam with what I’ve said and stand up after picking my cell phone up and pocketing it.

I went to walk away but Liam's hand gently wrapped around my wrist to stop me. I hesitantly turn to face him. My heart shattered at seeing the tears welling in his eyes.

I tugged my arm out of his grasp and cleared my throat. “I-I need a minute.”

“Riley?” He called after me. His voice laced with sheer panic. I stopped in the doorway and turned to look at him getting up onto his feet.

He went to move towards me but I held up a hand to stop him, “I’m not going to do anything,” I reassured, “ I- I just need a minute. I’ll come back.” I didn't say anything else as I left the apartment.

It was true, I wasn’t going to do anything, I just wanted to be alone for a few minutes to think over it all. I needed to figure this all out on my own first.

The next morning, my eyes fluttered open and were immediately stung by the sun rays peeking in through the partially closed curtains. I turned over to lay on my back and used my arm to shield my eyes from the blinding light.

I had avoided Liam after our talk yesterday evening and had stayed with Drake last night to ensure I wouldn’t run into my husband. I had sent Liam a text before going to bed to let him know that I’m okay.

There were a million different places I could’ve stayed but Drake is one of my best friends and I couldn’t be with Liam knowing I had hurt him.

Drake was like Liam- overprotective but he is one my best friends. Drake has always been here for me, through the highs and lows. Always here to confide in but we haven't spoken about it.

I don’t know where to begin or how to explain how I’m feeling.

It’s not that I can’t speak to Liam. I can tell him anything and he wouldn't judge me over it but seeing his face last night… I can’t hurt him anymore. I can’t.

I had found that over the last few days my mind had started to become a scary place. Filled with thoughts I haven't had since highschool. They're difficult to ignore. I’m tired of trying to ignore them. Keeping them pushed to the back of my mind only for them to come back stronger.

Everything just takes up so much energy.

I threw the blankets off of me, headed out of Drake's spare room and down the hall to the bathroom- that was thankfully unoccupied.

Drake never was an early riser so that’s hardly surprising.

I had just sat, pulled my pants and panties down when I felt my stomach churn at the sight of the red substance splattered in my otherwise pristine white underwear.

Shit. shit. No...please

I can feel my heart start racing. Beating madly like horses hooves hitting the ground. My stomach rolls and my heart sinks.

This can't be happening.

“It's okay,” I whispered to myself. “I’m fine. A little bit of spotting is normal. Totally normal.” I’m saying the words, I know the facts and yet I’m still panicking.

I took a deep breath and held it in for a few seconds, closing my eyes as I did so, going to my happy place. I did this a few more times to prevent my breathing going off the rails and going into a full blown panic. I don’t need that right now.

I don't have any nausea like normal but that’s okay, right? It should probably be called ‘all- day sickness’ It’s never just limited to the morning.

I’m fine.

It’ll probably rear its ugly head at some point during the day.

It’s probably a good thing actually. None of my friends know that I’m pregnant and Drake probably wouldn't appreciate me puking in his bathroom.

I flushed the toilet then headed out. As I was walking past the kitchen back to the spare room I heard Drake’s voice.

I changed direction and headed into the kitchen instead. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t surprised to see my husband sitting at the table opposite Drake.

Liam stood up when he saw me and wrapped me in his arms. “Are you okay?” He immediately asked.

“I’m fine.” I wanted to tell him about the spotting but...I don’t. It’s probably nothing. There’s no point in both of us stressing over it.

“Last night you disappeared and I-”

“I’m sorry,” I cut him off before he started to continue his worried rambling. I feel like the biggest bitch on the planet.

I didn’t handle last night well at all.

“Don't you ever do that again,” Liam said. I could hear the concern and worry laced in his normal stoic voice.

“I’m sorry. I just needed to- I needed some time to think over everything,” I explained as I wrapped both my arms around him tighter.

“I was so worried about you,” he told me quietly.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

We were interrupted by Drake clearing his throat. We let go of each other and turned to him. “Do you one of you want to tell me what’s going on?”

Liam went to open his mouth but I started talking before he could have a chance to, “It’s private and nothing to worry about,” I say quickly. “Thank you for letting me stay last night, Drake.”

“Sure,” he responded.

“I-I’m gonna go and get my stuff.” I awkwardly headed out and into the spare room to grab my phone, only to discover it had died, and my jacket and shoes- since they were the only things I had with me yesterday evening.

I slipped my shoes and jacket on then headed back into the kitchen.

The awkwardness in there was almost palpable.

Liam and I both said goodbye to our friend, then headed back to our quarters so I could shower and change.

On the way back Liam had told me we needed to talk but I don’t want to...not now at least. I just wanted to shower before I met up with Hana later.

I had asked him about how he knew where I was. He told me that he had panicked last night when I left and had tried to get hold of me but received no answer, then had called Drake thankfully to discover I was safe and sound with him.

I truly felt awful about it all. I wasn’t thinking last night that my disappearing act would make him worry so much. I didn’t mean to make him worry.

It just seemed to be one thing after another.

It was a few hours later, Hana and I are sitting in the library working on planning Maxwell’s surprise birthday party. Neither of us had planned one before and was finding it a little bit difficult. An offer had been extended for Drake to come and join us but he opted against it and Liam was in the middle of a conference call with the French ambassador but should be along shortly.

My laptop was open in front of me. I was writing down all our ideas we had come up with so far. All we knew was that we wanted it to be Kraken or squid themed- maybe both.

I was typing all of our ideas when my arm started to tingle.

Oh no.

I looked up to Hana who sat opposite me. She was making a sketch of a new suit she wanted to make for Maxwell for the party.

My stomach rolled.

Hana soon looked up at me. Everything was becoming confusing. My notes are almost forgotten. Why I’m here forgotten too.

I don’t think I took my medication this morning.

“Are you alright?”

I shook my head. “N-No,” I slurred.

All I really know right now is that I’m not feeling good. I feel sick.

I wobbily got to my feet and so did Hana.

I don’t know where I am but I don’t want to be here.

She stood in front of me, hands resting on my shoulders. “Riley, are you going to have a seizure?” My hearing is starting to disappear. Her voice sounds different- echoey.

I don’t understand what she's asking me.

(Hana’s POV)

I now understand what Maxwell had been feeling at the fundraiser. We’ve both been there to witness this but Drake and Liam have always been the ones to help her.

I gently helped her down onto the floor.

Riley started to squirm and whimper as she tried to get up off the floor. Her limbs don’t want to cooperate with her. I’m sure that’s making her panic more because her attempts to get away get stronger.

“It’s okay,” I said, quietly. She’s still squirming and whimpering. I know she probably doesn't understand anything that I’m saying right now to attempt to comfort her.

I heard her start to gag and immediately helped her over onto her side. I rubbed her back comfortingly, “It’s okay .Get it all out.”

Once she had finished, I quickly stood to fetch our phones off the table and a cushion off one of the seats.

I carefully slid the cushion under her head, she tried to move but she can barely move her limbs now.

“I dun’t feel glood,” She said in a small, slurred voice that made it difficult for me to understand.

“It's okay,” I tried to console but I dont think it’s doing much.

Her face fell blank, expressionless and less than a second later she started seizing, I quickly pressed the button to start the timer. I picked Riley’s phone up and looked for Liam’s contact.

It only ran three times before Liam picked up. “Love?”

“It’s Hana, Liam. We’re in the library and Riley’s having a seizure.”

“What?” He sounded panicked.

“She’s okay. It’s all under control. I- I just thought that you needed to know.”

“I’ll be there soon.” Liam hung up and I turned all my attention back to Riley. A little bit of blood started to trickle out of her mouth, I used the bottom of my dress to wipe it away, remembering that I needed to keep her airway as clear as possible.

Her thrashing started to slow down. “There you go,” I whispered. 2:23 was on the timer as I reached over to stop it as her thrashing ceased. I made a mental note of it.

About a minute later Liam arrived and dropped onto his knees beside us. It wasnt much longer until her eyes started to move behind their lids and opened completely.

(Riley’s POV)

Why can’t I move?

Why can’t I hear?

Where am I?

I can see two figures beside me. I can’t tell who they are!

Who are they?

What do they want?

Where am I?

I try to squirm away but my body doesn’t want to comply.

I’m scared, I don’t know where I am or why I’m here. My fight-or- flight response is starting to kick in. All I know is that I need to get away from these strange people.

Everything is still a blurry right now. The figures don’t yet have any defined facial features. My hearing is like I’m underwater- it’s all muffled.

A short while later, the details of the world around me is starting to bleed back into focus- I only wish my memory would do this too. I can see the bookshelves, the people near me. A sense failairt is over then but I can’t quite figure out why yet

The blonde ones seem to notice that I can see him and tilts his head a little bit. I realize I do recognize him and the woman. “Liam?” I asked. I’m still a little bit unsure.

The world doesn't completely make sense.

“I’m here,” he cooed. “We’re in the library, you had a little seizure,” he started to explain to me, “It’s just me and Hana.”

I looked at the woman. “Hi Riley.”

I don’t properly acknowledge my friend and look back to Liam. “What happened? I asked, his previous explanation completely forgotten.

“You had a seizure.”

“Oh.”

It took a few minutes for me to become fully alert. Now I was sitting up with Liam supporting me from behind.

I’m so tired.

I turned my head slightly and noticed the red stain on the bottom of my friend's dress. “I’m so sorry,” I panicked. Hana looked confused before she followed my gaze down.

“Oh don’t worry about it,” She said, waving me off.

“It’ll probably stain.”

“It’ll be fine. I promise,” Hana reassured, “I’m sure I’ll be able to get it out. Don’t worry about it.”

I nodded and let out a yawn.

“Do you want to head back to the apartment now?” Liam asked me. I nodded in agreement. Liam stood first and extended a hand out to me, I took it gratefully. Liam easily pulled me up off the not so comfortable library floor.

We both said goodbye to Hana, Liam grabbed my laptop off the table then we headed out. “Are you feeling okay now?” Liam asked me.

“Yeah,” I yawned, “I’m just tired, a little sore.”

We continued towards the apartment for a few minutes, when Liam spoke again breaking the silence. “Do you know what caused it this time?” He asked.

“I erm...I forgot to take my medication this morning,” I realized, thinking back to this morning. “I- I got a little distracted.” When we arrived back, I decided a nap would be beneficial- i was exhausted now so I settled down on the couch. Liam retrieved a blanket from our bedroom as I got comfortable. By the time he returned I was just about to drift off.

I felt him cover me with the blanket then place a kiss on my forehead. “I’ll be in the study if you need me.” I hummed before letting myself drift off.

I’m not sure how much later it was when I was woken up from my nap by some cramping, I rubbed at my eyes as I stood up. I felt sick at seeing the cushion I was laying on is now stained red.

Shit!

I looked down and saw the red, sticky blood covering my pants. I immediately headed out of the living room. I need Liam. This isn’t normal.

An icy finger ran down my spine when I felt another cramp slice across my lower abdomen. I wasn’t expecting it and leaned forward, grabbing hold of the door frame to Liam’s study, groaning quietly.

This can't be happening….Please, Please don’t let this be happening….Please…

My knuckles had turned white from the force I was using to keep hold of the wood. My other hand was resting on my stomach.

I bit my lip. I could taste the familiar metallic taste of blood from the freshly made cut in my bottom lip. I bit down harder as the pain seemed to intensify . I tried to keep in the whimper but I couldn’t.

I heard Liam’s chair be pushed back, then footsteps and before I knew it he was standing in front of me.

I couldn’t stop the tears from falling as I looked up to him. His eyebrows were knitted in concern but the look in his eyes told me he had an inkling about what was happening.

“Riley?” I’m sure I heard his voice crack. I whimpered again as another cramp tore through me.

What did I do wrong?

I can feel Liam’s hands resting on my shoulders now. “Riley, what’s happening sweetheart?”

I looked up to him. My tear filled gaze meeting his. My bottom lip trembled.

Was It something I ate?

“I-I’m…” I turned to look down at the floor. I couldn't look at him while I told him this. I couldn't watch as I shattered his dream of having a baby- like a true coward. “I’m losing the baby.”

Liam’s hands fell from my shoulders to rest by his side. He looked scared, panicked.

Is this because of a seizure?

Liam rubbed at his teary eyes. I groaned as another cramp sliced across my stomach once again. Liam stepped towards me and I grabbed onto his shoulders.

What if I had told him this morning?

“It’s okay,” Liam said, quickly, cupping my face in his hands.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “It...It’s not,” I cried. The pain only seemed to worsen and I had the sudden urge to go to the toilet. “I-I need to go to the toilet.”

Liam nodded and helped me down the hall and into the bathroom. I pulled down my pants and underwear and took a seat.

“Get out,” I ordered quietly. My knuckles were once again white clamped over my knees. Liam looked up at me, disbelief spread across his face.

“What?”

“Get out,” I demanded more forcibly this time. I didn’t want him to see this. He didn’t need to see this.

“Ri-”

“JUST GET OUT!” I screamed at him through a sob. “Please.” I could see the internal battle he was having with himself. “Just go,” I sniffled.

Thankfully he did as he was told.

It was a few minutes later when suddenly all the pain was gone and something slippery fell out and splashed into the toilet.

Oh god.

I wiped myself with some toilet paper. It came back covered in red. I felt sick.

I slowly got back up to my feet and pulled up my pants. I turned around so I’m facing the toilet; I bit my lip, once again drawing blood as I looked down into the bowl. It’s hard to see anything because of the crimson stained water, then I see it- my baby bobbing in the water.

My hand hovers on the handle.

I want to take it out. It doesn't feel right for my baby to be in the toilet where waste goes but what would I do with it? With him or her?

I heard the door open as Liam stepped in. I don’t turn to look at him, my gaze is fixed on the toilet. I felt him step up behind me and peek a glance.

He wrapped his arms around me and a sob ripped out of his throat. I let myself slam into his chest and allow him to wrap me in his arms as I continue to stare at it.

I don’t know what to do.

“I-I don’t know what to do,” I mumbled, defeated. Liam rubbed my shoulders comfortingly, sniffling.

“What did you do last time?” He asked.

“I- I buried her.”

“Did that help?” I shook my head. It didn't. Having my baby so close to me just outside and knowing I couldn’t hold her broke my heart. Everyday. “Should we flush it?” I could hear in his voice that he was crying.

My hand reached for the handle as my other when to cover my mouth as a sob tore out of my throat. Liam stepped closer to me, one hand around my waist as the other covered mine over the handle.

“Are you sure?” I nodded and turned my head away. “One...two...three.” Both our hands pushed down and a loud whooshing filled my ears as clean water replaced the crimson.

After I had calmed down, Liam and I headed to the hospital after he had convinced me too. I know he’s just worried and wants to make sure I was okay so I go along with it even though I don’t care anymore.

After getting checked out, Liam and I climbed in the back of the SUV and strapped ourselves in. We barely had uttered a word to one another- actually Liam had tried to talk to me but...what was there to say? It’s gone and there's nothing anybody can do to change that.

I keep going over it all wondering if there was something I could’ve done differently, what I did wrong...There must’ve been something that I did to cause this.

Like I had suspected everyone told me that it wasnt my fault- that ‘it’s just one of those things and ‘it’s actually quite common’ but I don't know what to think or how to feel.

I didn’t let myself get excited over it. I didn't let myself dream over what the baby would look like or what they’d be, what type of person they would grow up to become but from the moment that baby was conceived it was my child. I know for a fact Liam over the last nine weeks has thought about it, let himself get excited over it and I had just ruined it for him.

The journey back home was spent in an uncomfortable silence. I wanted to speak. I wanted to apologise profusely to my husband for what I had done but I couldn’t. How could I ever make amends with words?

When we arrived home, Liam had extended out his hand to help me out of the vehicle but I didn't take it, opting to push past him instead.

I heard Liam’s hurried footsteps behind me as I walked towards our apartment. I could hear him calling my name but I ignored it and continued on my way.

I quickly unlocked the front door and headed straight to the bathroom.

I need a shower.

I headed down the hall to the bathroom.

I didn't waste any time stripping off my clothes and switching the water.

It’s cold to begin with but I’m numb to everything right now.

Everything feels like I've stepped into another dimension or that I'm trapped in a nightmare that I can’t escape.

It doesn't feel real.

I picked up the loofah and plastered it in my body wash and started to scrub at dried blood on my legs.

I want it off of me!

I don’t realise that all the blood is soon gone and I’m just rubbing at my flesh until its raw.

I’m crying.

I’m screaming.

I just want this all to stop.

My hand is pulled away from my now agitated flesh by Liam. He plucked the loofah out of my hand and put it down then pulled me against his chest. I fight against him and manage to squirm out of his grip.

He can’t comfort me.

I don’t deserve it not after what I’ve done.

One of the first things I notice now that I’m facing him is that he’s still wearing his clothes and they're wet.

“You’re getting all wet!” I cried as I tried to urge him out of the shower but he wouldn't budge. He simply just pulled me into his arms, my back resting against his chest.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. I’m not sure he heard me over the water hitting the floor. It hit me then that I could never apologise enough, there is nothing I can do that is ever going to rectify any of this.

It’s not like this is the first time. It’s happened twice- two babies that I have failed to protect. Two babies that I just wanted to hold more than anything in the world but will never get the chance too.

“There’s nothing to apologise for.”

“Y-yes there is,” I said. My bottom lip quivered. I know that If I speak again then the tears are going to start falling.

“It’s not your fault.” Liam’s words do not ring true for me right now. I’ve already convinced myself that my actions caused this. That I am the one to blame. I want to cry but why should I be allowed to grieve over something that I caused?

It’s all my fault.

#my story #tw miscarriage #tw seizure #tw sucidal thoughts #the royal romance #trr #wacky drabbles #liam x riley

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aernox · 5 years

Text

Fragments - Day 4 Rivamika Week 2019

Early in the morning, the postings of the royal decree were nailed to the notice boards all around the barracks. The commotion of soldier’s shouting and causing a general ruckus, did not surprise Levi one bit. There had been rumors that this might happen after all. Armin had heard about them when he had been visiting the interior, but Historia herself had said nothing of it to Armin, or so he told Levi.

Arranged matrimonial relations. These were emergency actions that would require thirty percent of the current adult population of good health, to marry and procreate. With reports of the birth rates falling, and with mortality rates for young adults at an all-time high, there was pressure for the population inside the walls to sire children for several purposes. The first was to ensure that humanity inside the walls continued to survive in order to produce a sustainable workforce of farmers and other essential workers. The other was to ensure that there were enough soldiers to bolster the ranks to seem a plausible threat to the enemies of Paradis.

Soldiers were huddled around in groups, the men conversing quietly with each other but unable to hide the anxious looks on their face. Some of the women openly sobbed, with no amount of consoling able to help. It seemed that during the first round of these announcements, a higher percentage of those in the military had been chosen and partnered off. Deciding to get it over and done with, Levi approached the notice board that displayed the names of the couples chosen, not really expecting to be selected, he searched for his own name. Seeing his name printed in black ink, Levi’s dark eyes followed the name his own was paired with, when he felt a sharp jolt in his chest, then a sinking feeling that he couldn’t shake off. He wondered if she knew yet, and what would she think of being paired up with him.

Levi immediately turned on his heel and headed back to his office, the noise of the crowds in the hallway only growing louder and louder. He shut the door to his office behind him, and stood there a moment, trying to comprehend his own feelings on the matter. He was not disappointed for himself he realised. He was disappointed for her. She was still young and in the prime of her life, whilst he, although not old, was not exactly a spring chicken anymore. The pair of them had always gotten on tolerably well, but they were not overtly friendly with each other. Levi knew that she would not be happy being paired with him. A faint whistle came from the fireplace, and he knew that the kettle had finished boiling.

Tea. Tea always helps.

After taking a sip, and already sat at his desk, Levi set down the teacup onto the saucer with a clink. How was he going to face her, knowing that she would resent him for the rest of her life.

Besides, isn’t it common knowledge that she’s been pining for Eren all of these years? They’re god damn childhood sweethearts.

He let out sigh and swirled his teaspoon in his cup, watching the hot water spin when he heard a knock at the door.

“Not now, Hange!” Levi barked, knowing that she always had the worst timing.

The door to Levi’s office opened a crack as Mikasa put one foot in door.

“It’s not Hange…” Mikasa’s said tentatively, “You’ve seen the announcement already, I take it?”

Taken aback by her sudden appearance and unable to find time to thoroughly examine his thoughts, he didn’t reply immediately.

“I’ll come back later.” Mikasa said closing the door behind her with the faint click as the door shut completely.

Bolting up from his chair he raced to the door, throwing it open to find Mikasa right in front him, she hadn’t moved from her spot. Several soldiers in the corridors looked on at them, wondering what was going to happen, already knowing that they had been paired up with each other.

“Please. Come in, Mikasa.” Levi said as he held the door open.

She took a seat in the chair opposite his at his desk, fiddling at a thread of Survey Corps uniform. Shutting the door and walking to his chair, he wondered where he would begin.

“In response to your question, yes. I have seen the announcement…,” Levi said, finally sitting down and taking a sip of his tea that was still hot.

Mikasa’s head was bowed, which left Levi unable to see her facial expression, but she nodded quickly.

“As soon as I saw it, I went to see Historia.” Mikasa started, “I thought there had to be some mistake. But did you know what she said to me?”

Mikasa raised her hair, her black hair falling either side of her face. Levi shook his head, waiting for her answer.

“She said that we all have to make sacrifices. Just like she did.” Mikasa’s voice was strong and even.

Levi said nothing in response, but watched Mikasa, waiting to see what she really thought of these arrangements.

“Did you know that she’s pregnant? Historia.” Mikasa asked him.

Levi shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “There had been a rumor.”

“Do you know who the father of her child is?” Still, Mikasa’s tone was aloof, as if she was asking what the weather was like outside.

Levi’s eyes narrowed, watching Mikasa as she stared at him.

“Again, I heard a rumor.” Levi said, his voice low.

But they both knew who the father was, they just couldn’t say.

“Mikasa, what do you want to do about this whole thing?” Levi asked her

“I didn’t think we really had a choice. It being a royal decree and all.” the sarcasm was not lost on Levi.

“I’m serious.” Levi said, this time he thought her expression meant that she realised this.

“I heard people talking about running away. So that they wouldn’t have to get married.” Mikasa said, turning her gaze away from him. “Stupid idea. They would be found eventually.”

Levi said nothing, wanting her to continue. Mikasa fidgeted nervously in her chair, unable to look at him in the eye. There was another knock on the door.

“Not now, Hange!” Levi barked again.

There was coughing from behind the door and a voice called out that Commander Hange wanted to see Levi in her office.

“Tch,” Levi rose from his chair, putting his jacket on and straightening his already perfectly straight cravat. “We’ll speak later Mikasa.”

Without a word she rose and reached the door before Levi and proceeded down the corridor in the opposite direction that Levi needed to go in. Levi entered Erwin’s old office to find Hange sitting behind the desk. Even after all these years, Levi still thought of this as Erwin’s office. Armin was standing by the window and raised his hand in greeting to Levi.

“Shit has really hit the fan.” Levi said as he shut the door and stood behind the chair opposite Hange.

“Well, we were half expecting this, Levi.” Hange said, motioning for his to sit down which Levi did.

Levi crossed his arms.

“The situation isn’t ideal for anyone.” Armin said as he leaned against the wall.

“Who did you guys get partnered with?” Levi asked.

For a moment Hange and Armin looked at each other before they both replied, in sync.

“Each other.”

“Oh,”

It was the only thing Levi could think to say. There was silence for several moments before Hange shuffled some papers and stowed them away in a draw in her desk.

“Armin and I have come to an arrangement.” Hange said, seemingly distracted by more paperwork at her desk as she spoke.

“We will get married, as the royal decree demands, but we will live together as… friends.” Armin said, his tone was very matter of fact.

Levi already saw a flaw in their plan.

“In case you haven’t read the fine print… you are obligated to produce offspring. It is a requirement. If after a year and a half of marriage there are no children, they will annul the marriage and you will be assigned a new partner to marry.” Levi’s own voice emulated nothing but monotone factualness.

Armin turned his attention back to the window, averting his gaze from both Levi and Hange.

Clearing her throat Hange began, “We will perform our matrimonial duties as required until we produce a child.”

Levi hoped his disappointment didn’t show on his face. He had hoped that the smartest people he knew, Hange and Armin, would have figured out a way around this mess, a solution that Levi could have used himself. But this solution would be of no use to him.

***

Levi tossed again for what seemed like the hundredth time that night in bed. A persistent gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach plagued him that he just could not shift. After his meeting with Hange and Armin, Levi had sent a scout to ask Mikasa to return to his office. An hour later the scout returned without Mikasa, reporting they had searched everywhere for her but to no avail. When the scout asked if he wanted to report Mikasa’s desertion to Hange, Levi clipped him around the ear and the scout said no more about it.

Swinging his legs out of bed, Levi got up poured water into his kettle, repeating the mantra to himself that tea always made things better. Waiting for it to boil he went over to the wash basin and threw water onto his face. He watched in the mirror as the drips of water rolled down his weathered skin, the fine lines developing around the corners of his eyes, mouth and forehead. Dark circles had settled themselves underneath his tired eyes.

I look like shit.

As he watched his reflection it seemed obvious to him why Mikasa would want to leave. He was an older man, who would steal away the best years of a young woman’s life. He was still pondering when he noticed something moving in the reflection of his mirror. He continued to watch as Mikasa opened the window to his room and climbed in.

“I need to talk to you, Captain.” Mikasa said as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Why didn’t you use the door like a normal person?” Levi quipped.

“Neither of us are exactly normal.” Mikasa’s words hanged in the air until she continued, “It’s after curfew.”

“I thought that would be the least of you worries right now.”

Levi watched as her throat moved slowly as if she was gulped.

“I have decided to marry you. If you want me, that is.” Mikasa’s word were slow, as if she were feeling how they felt to leave her lips.

Levi’s eyes narrowed.

“No.” Levi said, moving to take the kettle of the fire. Only when he had finished pouring the water into the two cups did he chance a glance at her.

Mikasa was stood stock still, her eyes were as wide as saucers Levi thought to himself.

“What do you mean no?” Mikasa asked, choking on her words.

Levi picked up the two cups and handed one to Mikasa.

“I don’t intend to marry anyone under coercion. Royal decree be damned.” Levi sat on the windowsill, casually looking out to the empty dark horizon, marbled by the stars above.

“But-“

“But what!? I will not force a young woman in the prime of her life to be burdened for the rest of her life to an older man…let alone a woman who loves someone else.” Levi sipped his tea before adding, “That is the end of the matter, Mikasa.”

“No.”

“No wha-“

“This is not the end of the matter, because you will hear me out. Is that clear, Captain?” Levi could feel the fierceness in her voice.

“You have my attention, Ackerman.”

“If I understand correctly, you refuse to marry me because you believe that it is due to me being coerced by the royal decree, do you not?”

Levi nodded, as Mikasa took a sip of the tea.

“Then I wonder what your answer would be if I told you that I did not feel compelled to marry you. But wanted to marry you of my own free will, Captain.”

Levi was frozen in place, unblinking, waiting for any sign that this was a joke, a ruse. Thoughts occurred to Levi that Mikasa could never be that callous.

“Tell me now. The truth. Do you mean what you say?”

With her teacup still in hand, he watched as Mikasa seem to glide over to him, her hand slowly rising to his temple, her thumb gentle stroking the space under his tired eyes. His hands were on her waist before he could even think what to do next, the smash of the teacups hitting the floor barely registering. Their lips crashed against each other, hands moved in hurried motions and Levi’s eyes were still closed but he could feel Mikasa tugging on his bracers, pulling him towards his bed as his boots crushed the fragments of the shattered teacups into the floor.

#rivamika #levimika #rivamikaevents #rivamikaweek #not entirely happy with this but its super late already #levi x mikasa #arranged marriage #day 4

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girlmeetsliv3 · 5 years

Text

Datura Interview

A place where the cast of Datura answer all your questions along with some fun fourth wall breaking.

Word Count: 2k

A/N: Here you go. Hope all of you enjoy and stay tuned towards the end for an announcement.

In a whitened out sound stage lit with professional lighting and multi-angle cameras stood four chairs, each having a name written on the back. Identifying which individual was designated to it. Originally there were supposed to be eight chairs, however, in an effort to avoid conflict it was decided the interview should be split into the main and supporting cast to avoid…tension. Seeing as the cast is quite difficult to control, or comprehend, a special interviewer was called into “sort them out” and be able to successfully conduct the interview without mishaps this time. The coordinators had desired more professional and worthy people to conduct the interviews, but all had declined the second they heard who their subjects were. The main doors opening as the smell of Chrysanthemum a college-aged woman walked in with her hair thrown back into a low messy bun whilst sporting baggy jeans and a crop top. Glancing up at the crew she sighed, “Let’s get this show on the road. I’ve got a one-shot that needs to be finished by tonight.” The coordinator at the event opened his mouth, to inform her that the cast had yet to arrive but before he could the lights blacked out. Once they turned back on the main cast were sitting in their chairs, as if they’d been there the whole time. Taehyung, Jimin, and Baby all sporting signature black attire and wearing long coats over top. Taehyung eyes narrowed on the crew, “What is it that you’re waiting for?” Suddenly all of the staff flew into a frenzy, attempting to get everything prepared in order to star right away. None wanting to upset Taehyung or draw his attention again. “Tae play nice,” Jimin spoke, though the sarcasm was evident. Baby shifted uncomfortably in her seat, she had never been good at interviews or anything of the sort. The questions that may possibly be asked, along with the reactions they may incite in her lovers worried her.

“You guys said you would behave so do so.” Alex Mei, the interviewer, spoke her foot tapping obnoxiously against the concrete floor. She marched right up the fourth chair, the one in front of the three of them and sat down. “The only reason we agreed to this stupid thing is that we were promised two weeks off,” Taehyung spoke with a slight snarl. The woman before him always pissed him off, mainly because she was obnoxious, but also because she was a stand-in for his creator. “If you all play along, I’ll get Cloud to agree. But if you so much as kill anyone or summon Satan, deals off.” Mei retorted, a smirk on her lips. “Mei don’t you ever not want to be covered in shit?” Jimin asked. Baby turned to look at him, eyes silently begging him not to add more fuel to the fire. “Why would I be covered in shit?!” A frown had settled between Mei’s brows demonstrating her confusion at the statement. “From being so far up Cloud’s ass.” Dead silence was all that could be heard. “Why you little –”

“And we’re live in three…two…one.”

“Hello everyone, I’m Alexa Mei here. Your favorite and most important news reporter in this literary universe.” Isn’t she the only reporter ever written though? Baby asked herself as the perky blonde continued to speak into the camera. “Now I have some questions submitted by the fans that I’m sure the cast would just love to answer!” Mei turned around facing the three of them with a fake overexaggerated grin on her face, it was the scariest thing they had ever seen. “Now how are you guys?” A symphony of muttered ‘goods’ was the only response she got. “Alright, so let’s start with the first question which is for Taehyung and Jimin. What exactly are the two of you? How did you meet? And how long have you been together?” Both men looked at each other, a silent communication occurring between the two of them before Jimin turned towards the camera. “Tae and I have known each other since we were kids. Before birth even, it was like we were destined for each other. Soulmates in this dark cruel world. Baby as well was always meant to be ours.” He gives a charming smile to the camera, one that has even those behind the stage melting at his charisma and charm.

“You didn’t answer the first question.” Mei stated rather monotonously. “Let’s move on to the next question, shall we?” Taehyung said, casting Mei a dark look. “Very well,” she rolled her eyes. “Now Baby, given the last chapter’s events: Do you still consider Taehyung and Jimin as a part of your family? Even after everything they’ve done?” Baby could feel Taehyung and Jimin staring intently at her from the corners of their eyes. Waiting to see how she would respond. The last time she had been asked this question, the fan had ended dead in a sewer eaten by rats. Baby’s hands instinctively went to her stomach in an effort to shield herself. “I love them. I always will. You can’t control who or what you love. They aren’t perfect, but neither am I. They don’t judge me for the things I’ve done, so I can’t judge them.” Mei couldn’t help but look at her with sympathy. “If you say so.”

“Back to the two of you, why did you choose Baby that night? What drew you to her?” Now it was Baby’s turn to be anxious. She had often wanted to ask them, but they always replied with the same response: their meeting was fated. It wasn’t that she doubted them, but there had to be a different reason. “She was lost. Anyone could see that. She was lost and innocent in an environment where those sorts of things are taken advantage of. Who knows what could have happened to her that night, if we didn’t take the first step?” Thoughts ran wild in Baby’s head of life without Taehyung and Jimin. It would be a different life, but would it be a better one? She couldn’t tell. “Plus to add to what Tae said. We knew from the second we laid eyes on her that she was perfect. Perfect for us. It was fate, I tell you.” Jimin leaned back into his seat, his hand finding Baby’s and entangling their fingers together. “What a perfect response. Nothing to look into at all.” Mei gave a chagrined smile, before looking back at the questions placed in her hands. “Oh, I see a question for Namjoon. It says: do you know what’s really going on with Taehyung, Jimin, and the rest of their cult. If so, what was your initial reaction?” Mei had wondered why the rest of the cast wasn’t there, but maybe they would have video responses or something. “Unfortunately Namjoon hasn’t been in the best state of mind, so he won’t be able to answer any questions today or ever,” Jimin said, giggling at the end at his own personal joke. “Namjoon has willingly chosen to become a member of our organization. He’s very thrilled to have found people who accept him for who he is and is looking forward to the future.” Taehyung’s words sounded as if they had been recited a thousand times. They probably had.

Mei nodded deciding to not prolong this anymore. “Baby how have things changed in your relationship since becoming pregnant?” Baby was able to answer this one with ease, “Taehyung and Jimin have been more protective of me, but it’s nothing too bad. They’re excited for the child and what’s to come, as am I. I think they’ll make great parents.” A soft smile spread across Baby’s face at the thought of Taehyung and Jimin cradling a child between them. It brought much-needed warmth back into her heart. “We don’t have a name yet, but we’re sure the fans will think of a great one. We’re up for suggestions.” Jimin had a small smile on his lips, as he glanced at the clock. Likely counting the minutes until the interview was over. “Lastly, this one is for some very special guests who couldn’t be with us today. However, the crew is informing me that their interview was prerecorded and will be streamed now. Please enjoy.”

A video is played of balmy tropical weather filled with palm trees and a beautiful sparkling sea. Suddenly the camera turns and Jungkook can be seen filling up the entire screen, his now long locks framing his face perfectly. “Hi, I can’t talk too loud because Hyung is sleeping beside me,” Jungkook turns the camera to show a sleeping Yoongi resting in a hammock under the shade. “However, I know you guys really wanted to know these questions, so I’ll do my best. So, how did I meet Tae and Jimin?” Jungkook sucked his lower lip into his mouth, as he thought about a way to say it without potentially pissing off the men most likely watching. “I was in college when I met them. I met Jimin first and through him Taehyung. They were always together, a part of me wanted something like that too so I asked them. We broke up due to miscommunication, that’s all.” His eyes skimmed across the next question face lighting up instantly, “What was my first reaction of Yoongi-hyung? I thought he was a bit intimidating and might not like me. It turns out he wasn’t like that at all, a bit shy and aloof sometimes but…” A sincere smile spread across his face. “I wouldn’t change anything if it means I get to be with him now.” Jungkook waves goodbye to the camera before the video clicks off.

“Well, I do believe that’s everything for today. Please join us next Tuesday for Datura’s next installment.” Mei spoke into the camera with a sadistic gleam in her eyes. “Wait a second you said if we did this, we would get two weeks off!” Jimin pouted, his voice whiny and high-pitched. “That was before you said that stupid joke, you big baby. Sorry Baby.” Mei yelled at him, before quickly apologizing to the woman beside him. All it took was a snap from Taehyung, for all the equipment in the room to cease working and for everyone to be plunged into darkness. “Well now that it’s over. I get to have my fun.” All hell broke loose in that interview room, the only thing that could be heard were screams of pain and agony that bled through the walls.

-------------------------------------

A/N: So as you can see Datura will not be updated until November. This is because I have a new series that will be updated every weekday, starting October 4th until October 30th. I thank everyone for the support they’ve shows the series and hope that you will continue to support it. Thank you <3

#bts #yandere bts #bts au #bts crack #kim taehyung x reader #park jimin x reader #kim taehyung x park jimin #vmin #jeon jungkook x min yoongi #kim namjoon #Datura #Datura cast #Datura Interview #girlmeetsliv3 #october-fest

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ad1thi · 5 years

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life, the wrong way round

- or, my doctor who au

you don’t need more than a passing knowledge of doctor who to understand this, but if you haven’t ever watched the show here’s what you need to know - (1) “the doctor” has given up his birth name and goes by the doctor as a way to remind himself to dedicate the rest of his near immortal life to helping people, (2) it is very hard to kill the doctor as he tends to rebuild a new body for himself, (3) river song is the great love of his life and they deserved a lot of more screentime together, (4) river song is the first living creature to know the doctor’s name in almost 1000 years, (5)the doctor and river both time travel, which means they never meet in the same order. this means that everytime they meet, either river knows something about the doctor’s future that hasn’t happened for him yet, or the doctor knows something about river’s future that she hasn’t experienced yet, (6) this story - as in the show, is told from the doctor’s perspective

doctor! tony stark x river song! james rhodes, doctor who au, fem!james rhodes, major character death (but its not that important), 1.8k

The first time they meet is the day she dies.

Well, thats not strictly accurate.

The first time the Doctor meets Professor Rhodes is the day she dies, but it isn’t the first time that Professor Rhodes has met the Doctor.

“Timey wimey is what you call it,” she says with a smile, but there’s something forced about it that irks at him, “we keep meeting in the wrong order.”

“So let me get this straight,” He asks, but it bears repeating, “you know who I am - but I don’t know who you are?”

“Oh for fuck’s -” she leans in, so that her lips are close enough to press against the shell of his ear, “your Gallifrey name is Anthony.”

He stops asking questions after that - which he regrets when he wakes up handcuffed to a railing and she’s strapped to a machine.

“You know my name!” he calls out desperately, “There’s only one reason I would give someone my name.”

“I know,” Rhodey says, eyes unbearably soft even though she’s strapping herself in for certain death, “but I can’t risk you not meeting me again.”

“Time can be rewritten!” he begs, because he’s a Time Lord, he knows this stuff.

“Not our time,” she says firmly, “not a single second of it.”

He watches as the countdown goes 3, 2, 1 and his future wife dies, because he refuses to look away as his actions kill the only person who ever knew his name.

“She knew my name,” he tells Pepper, when they’re back on the TARDIS “thats why I trusted her. She knew my name and I had no idea who she was.”

He turns to her, unable to comprehend Rhodey’s actions, “she died so I wouldn’t have to - because she couldn’t stand the thought that we would never meet. I don’t know if I’m worth that kind of dedication.”

“You’re not,” Pepper says, because Pepper never really holds back, “but now you have the rest of your life to make sure you are.”

Their first kiss is in his new body, once he drops her back in prison after trying (and failing) to save a little girl from a space suit.

They’re fighting an alien race that they can’t remember exists, Peter might be pregnant (which is all sorts of confusing given his anatomy) and he can’t stop drawing all over his face.

“They’re called the Silence,” he tells FBI Agent Hill, “and the minute you stop looking at them, you can’t remember they exist. Now if you’ll excuse me - I have someone to pick up.”

Peter opens up the door to the swimming pool, Rhodey falls into it in a terribly dramatic fashion - and her clothes are sticking to her in uncomfortably attractive places.

“Thank you sweetie,” she croons, drying her hair with a towel, “so delightful of you to pick me up.”

He wants to know why the little girl is so important to the silence, but they refuse to tell him - so he settles for Rhodey’s Plan B - killing them all.

Then, he has to return Rhodey back to prison.

“Are you going to tell me why they’ve got you locked up in the Byzantium?” He asks, “or better yet - why you stay when you can so easily walk away?”

you can travel with me instead, he doesn’t say, let me find out why you know my name - but Rhodey’s eyes soften and her lips pull into a familiar smile, like she’s heard him say it anyway.

“I made a promise,” she says, before fisting her hands into his shirt and pulling him in, “but I won’t say no to a proper goodbye.”

Her lips are on his before he has anytime to react, and his hands flail about before carefully cupping her cheek and tilting her face for better access.

If this is my first kiss with my future wife, he thinks dimly, its going to be a good one.

He’s rather dazed when they pull apart, which is why she asks, “what’s wrong why are you acting like thats the first time we’ve ever done that?”

He blinks at her, “because it is,” and watches how he breaks her heart all over again.

“But! First time for everything right?” He says because he barely knows her, but he already knows that he can’t bear to see her upset - and he pretends like he doesn’t hear Rhodey whisper back “or a last,” choosing instead to hole away in the TARDIS.

He sees her sometimes, the Rhodey that he first met.

Rhodey’s future self - the version he plugged into the database of the biggest library in the world because he couldn’t bear to let her die.

He sees her in the corner of his eye, making fun and whispering and quite honestly in very good spirits for someone who’s talking to him.

But he only ever talks to her once, at Trenzalore.

She yells and screams and begs for the Great Intelligence to leave his time-stream alone, but its nothing compared to the noise she makes when she realises that he intends to enter it as well.

“You simply cannot!” Rhodey yells out, “please, I am begging you - you can’t enter your own time stream it will kill you.”

Rhodey moves then, towards him as if to slap him out of her actions - but he catches her hand before it makes contact.

“I can’t very well leave Riri in there alone can I?” he says back, and there’s visible shock on her face when she realises that he’s been listening, “I have to go in and save her.”

“This entire time,” She whispers, “This entire time you knew I was here?”

“Rhodey,” he croons back, “when will you realise that you are always with me? I never answered because I thought it would hurt too much.”

“I could’ve taken it.”

“No,” his face shutters for a second, “I meant it would hurt me too much.”

He kisses her, bolder and braver than their first kiss, because he’s starting to understand what she means to him, how much she means to him.

“You never said goodbye,” there’s a hint of hurt in her voice, and he shrugs plaintively, “I didn’t know how.”

There’s tears in Rhodey’s eyes, but yet she smiles at him, “you don’t like endings. If you ever loved me, then there’s only one sort of goodbye I could ever accept - the kind that promises you’ll return again.”

He steps out of her embrace, suddenly aware that there’s people in the room that can’t see Rhodey, “Until next time Professor Jamie Rhodes.”

He watches her fade away for the second time, “goodbye sweetie.”

“When I first met the Doctor—a long long time ago—he knew all about me,” Rhodey had said to Harley once , “Think about that. Impressionable young girl and suddenly this man just drops out of the sky. He’s clever and mad and wonderful and… and knows every last thing about her. Imagine what that does to a girl.”

He’d always wondered what she meant by that - but staring down the barrel of a gun that she’s pointing at him - he no longer has to.

“Jamies Rhodes” he calls out, unable to keep the joy out of his voice, “this is a pleasant surprise.”

“Hello Doctor,” she says back, “its time for you to die.”

He gets it now, he thinks - as he evades her with just enough energy to make Rhodey think she’s working for it, but not enough to actually make her fail.

This is going to be her first ever memory of him after all, it deserves to be a good one.

She kills him eventually, shooting him in the chest - but she also uses the last of her regeneration energy to bring him back to him.

He’d like to say that this was the first and last time that Jamie Rhodes killed him, but then he’d be lying.

She was after all, stolen from her parents at birth and groomed for the specific purpose of killing him.

He had always assumed that the hardest day of his life, had been the day he lost Rhodey.

After all, he watched her die not really knowing what she was to him, and he spent every day since falling for a woman he knew was doomed to die.

It happens though, that The Doctor is occasionally wrong.

This instance - where he’s in a body that is so close to his first ever face that she barely recognises him, and listening to Rhodey talk about how he doesn’t love her back - this is an instance where he’s wrong.

"You don't expect a sunset to admire you back. When you love the Doctor, it's like loving the stars themselves," she yells out at Flemming - and he thinks that this might just be the thing that kills him after all.

“Hello sweetie,” he whispers when the penny drops for Rhodey, because otherwise he might be compelled to ask her something stupid like do you truly believe, after all these years, that I don’t love you?

The ship crashes, Rhodey remarks that she hasn’t had a chance to take his new body out on a test run - and he plugs in the co-ordinates to Darillium, because try as he might - he cannot delay the inevitable.

"Times end Rhodey,” he says, unbearably soft, “because they have to. Because there’s no such thing as happily ever after.”

There’s pain shining through every crevice of her eyes, and yet he can’t do a single thing to take it away.

The last living Time Lord, most revered and powerful living creature in all the worlds - and he can’t do this simple thing for the woman he loves.

“No Doctor you’re wrong,” she says back - fierce till the end, “happily ever after doesn’t mean forever. It just means time, a little time - but thats not the sort of thing you could ever understand is it?”

He talks about the Towers - because he’s never been good at silences, and he’s never been good at goodbyes.

but for once, Rhodey doesn’t take the bait.

“So,” there’s a shudder in her voice, “assuming tonight is all we have left, how long is a night on Darillium?”

“24 years,” he whispers, because he cannot save her life, he cannot give her more time, he cannot change the course of her ending - but he can give her this.

She leans in all at once, kissing him like its the very last time she’ll last him against her lips.

“I hate you,” Rhodey murmers against his lips.

“No you don’t” he murmers back - because it would all be much simpler if she did.

Fin

tagging mutuals who like rhodeytony: @lovelyirony, @omg-just-peachy, @theavengays, @frostysunflowers, @littlemissstark, @imposter-human, @rocknrollonthat45

#rhodeytony #ironhusbands #james rhodes x tony stark #rhodey/tony #my writing #life the wrong way around #doctor who au #rule 63 #fem!james rhodes #TO BE CLEAR...i know in the tv show a lot of the doctor's companions have romantic undertones to them but these don't okay #tony as the doctor is not romantically involved with any of his companions #they're just convenient names to fill it as companions #the only focus of this story is between tony and rhodey #where tony is the doctor #and rhodey is river song #that is the ONLY romantic relationship in this series #im just really emotional about doctor who rn okay

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scenes-in-between · 6 years

Text

Nothing Important Happened Today (Part 1)

(pre-episode)

One night. They get one night at home together before it all goes to hell.

It's not the most restful night, either. The baby is up every two hours to eat, and both Mulder and Scully have nightmares in between. Even so, months later, he will look back on this night of broken sleep with a longing so fierce it feels he might combust from it.

He finally decides after William's 5 AM feeding that he might as well get some water boiling (coffee for him, tea for Scully), and even bleary-eyed and fuzzy-headed, it is hard to remember a time he's been happier. This is the dream he never really allowed himself to want, a domestic sort of bliss he never truly believed himself worthy of, messy and imperfect but also somehow exactly right.

He almost drops the kettle into the sink when someone knocks on the door.

Instinctively, he reaches toward the holster he’s not wearing, frowns, and pads on near-silent bare feet to the door anyway. A wary glance through the peephole does nothing to set his mind at ease.

“What do you want?” he says quietly through the closed door.

“We need to talk,” is the muffled reply.

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“Maybe not. But you’re going to want to hear what I have to say to you.”

Clenching his jaw, Mulder unlocks the deadbolt but leaves the security chain in place, then opens the door just the small amount that the chain allows.

“And why should I believe anything that comes out of your mouth?”

“Believe me or don’t,” Kersh says. “But I didn’t have to come here. And if I walk away right now, the only person whose ass that saves is me.”

***

Mulder closes the door, and for a moment, Kersh thinks he might not reopen it. But he hears the slide and clatter of the chain being undone, and then the door opens once more. Mulder is standing there with the same defiant scowl on his face that he’s worn so many times before in Kersh’s office, only this time, the flannel pajama pants and bare feet make him look even more like a petulant teenager. It might be funny, if the situation weren’t so dire.

The temptation is certainly there, Kersh has to admit, to simply walk away. To let whatever Mulder has coming for him just take its course and have that be the end of it, once and for all. Under different circumstances, he might indeed have done just that.

But what’s coming for Mulder won’t stop with him; Agent Scully and this brand new, innocent baby will be caught in the crossfire, and that is more blood on his hands than he can stomach. Kersh may have no love lost for Mulder, but he is not a complete monster.

At length, Mulder moves to one side so Kersh can actually enter the apartment instead of standing out in the hallway like a jackass.

“Whatever you have to say, keep your voice down,” Mulder murmurs as he closes the door. “The baby’s sleeping.”

Kersh gestures toward the couch. “Mind if we sit down?”

“No, I think we’re fine right here,” Mulder says, crossing his arms over his chest. “You won’t be staying long.”

Arrogant sonofabitch.

“All right, then. I’ll cut to the chase. Your life is in danger. You’ve got about 24 hours to get out of town before a chain of events is set in motion that no one will be able to stop.”

“I’m sorry, is that supposed to scare me? Maybe you haven’t noticed, but that’s not exactly new territory for me.”

“Oh, no? Then tell me, what does Agent Scully think about this cavalier attitude of yours, in light of the… new addition.”

At this, Mulder drops his arms and steps forward, getting his face right up into Kersh’s. “Don’t you threaten my son,” he practically hisses.

“That’s not a threat, you damned hothead, it’s a warning. A warning that you’ve got your head so far up your own ass that you fail to recognize the danger you’re bringing on them both by staying here.”

“Oh, and I’m supposed to believe that leaving them unprotected is a better plan? Thanks, but given how well that worked out the last time, I’m not making that mistake again.”

“They’re still alive, aren’t they?”

Mulder’s jaw muscle bulges, but whatever he’s about to say is derailed by the sound of another door opening in the apartment.

Kersh turns to see Agent Scully standing in the doorway to the bedroom, then quickly looks away; she’s wearing a robe over her pajamas, but even so, he is still her boss, and seeing her like this seems intimate in a way that feels deeply inappropriate.

“Sir? What are you doing here?”

“The Deputy Director was just leaving,” Mulder says before Kersh can answer.

Kersh levels a glare at him. “Actually, I think Agent Scully ought to hear what I’ve told you. Perhaps she will have the sense to listen.”

“No, I think we’re both done listening to your lies.”

He should have known it would be pointless to come here. Mulder was never going to listen to reason, especially not after learning about Kersh’s association with the very people he’s now trying to protect them from.

The same people who will not hesitate to separate his head from his body if they find out he’s been here.

It’s this last point that keeps him from throwing up his hands and walking out; if he leaves without doing what he came here to do, the risk will have been entirely for nothing, and Alvin Kersh is not someone who puts himself in harm’s way for no reason.

“If I were trying to mislead you, don’t you think I would have contrived to do so by some means that you would find more credible?”

“You’ve never shown even the slightest interest in helping us before,” Mulder counters. “Why start now?”

It takes every ounce of restraint not to roll his eyes.

“What I have refused to do, and will never do, is validate your ridiculous claims about aliens. You are so quick to blame everything on little green men that you ignore, to your great detriment, the very real and very human threats facing you. Especially now.”

Mulder scoffs. “There is nothing human about the men you were meeting in your office a few nights ago.”

“On the contrary. What you mischaracterize as alien is in fact the product of human science more advanced and more dangerous than you could possibly comprehend.”

This shuts Mulder up for a full two seconds. Then he shakes his head. “You actually believe that, don’t you? You really have no idea what you’re dealing with.”

“Mulder, can I speak with you for a moment?” Agent Scully says quietly from behind Kersh. “Alone?”

Mulder’s expression immediately changes, his eyes narrowing in concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, just… Would you excuse us a moment please, sir?”

“By all means,” Kersh says, without turning around.

With one more distrustful glare, Mulder stalks past him, and the two of them go into the bedroom and shut the door. Kersh, meanwhile, takes this opportunity to walk over to the chair in the living room and sit down. For several minutes, the only sound is a clock ticking somewhere nearby.

Kersh waits.

***

“I just think it's worth hearing what he has to say,” Scully whispers. “It's the only way we can hope to even guess as to what his true motivations might be.”

“We know that he wants me out of the picture, Scully. I don't think the 'why’ matters. I'm not going anywhere.”

“I know you're not.” She takes his hand and squeezes. His face softens, and he squeezes her fingers back. “But I still want to try and find out as much as possible about what we're up against.” She looks over at the bassinet. “If not for our sake then for William's.”

“Dana…”

“I need to know they aren't going to keep coming after him. That when they all walked away in Georgia, that was the end of it. Because if it wasn't…”

“I'm not going to let anything happen to him. Not to him, not to you, not to any of us.”

“Mulder…” She sighs. “We both know what they're capable of. We both know that's something you can't promise. Which is why it's all the more important to know whatever we can about what they want and what they're planning. That is the only way we will have any hope of fighting them. And while Kersh may believe the lie about their origins, that doesn't mean that the rest of what he might know about them is also untrue.”

“Unless by listening to him, we're playing right into their hands.” He shakes his head. “I don't trust anything that comes out of his mouth, regardless of whether or not he believes he's telling the truth.”

“I don't trust him either. But I still think that we should hear him out first, and then decide what to do with whatever information he might give us.”

Mulder drops her hand and rubs his face. “I don’t like it,” he murmurs from behind his hands. “This isn’t how it’s supposed to go.”

Nothing has gone “how it was supposed to” since the moment she found out she was pregnant. Mulder disappearing for months and coming back “dead,” all of the questions and the worry, the doctors she should have been able to trust but couldn’t, and all of it culminating in a birth that bore not even the faintest resemblance to any of what she had hoped and planned for. She fell through the proverbial looking glass the day Mulder left for Oregon, and she can count on one hand the moments since then when her life has felt like anything approaching normal.

And that’s even relative to the departure from “normal” that has characterized her life since the first time she walked into that basement office, nearly a decade ago.

She looks over again at William. If all of this turmoil is the price she has to pay for him, for his very existence, for the fact that however miraculous the circumstances surrounding his conception might have been, he is the product of a perfectly ordinary human union, then she will pay it without hesitation.

“Come on. We’d better get back out there.”

Without giving Mulder a chance to argue again, she opens the door. Kersh meets her eyes only momentarily before looking away uncomfortably. She’s not sure what he expected, dropping in on a new mother at 5:30 in the morning; no way in hell is she putting on a pantsuit right now. There is nothing immodest about her current state of dress, and if he has a problem with it, that’s on him.

Besides, maybe it’s a good thing if he’s thrown off balance a bit.

She walks to the couch and sits. “All right. I’m listening.”

#x-files fanfic #txf: nothing important happened today #msr #baby william #kersh #mulderfic #scullyfic

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irnwoman · 5 years

Text

AVENGERS ENDGAME --- DUAL TIMELINE*

Under the cut contains my two diverging timelines for Post Endgame, beware that there are spoilers below for Avengers Endgame, so please read at your own risk if you haven’t seen it yet and wish to remain surprised. These are my default timelines; and as always, points are flexible for specific plots and preferences.

DO NOT REBLOG / PERSONALS DO NOT INTERACT !

This section is divided into two categories; Tony Lives and Tony Dies. My default will vary depending on the muse, but I might typically lean more into Tony Living since that seems to be the general consensus I’ve seen on the dash. There will be parts that carry over into both, those details will be highlighted.

BEFORE DIVERGENCE

I’ve covered Pepper during the time span of Infinity War to the final battle here; so please refer here for more information prior to this split.

Tony didn’t know yet, Pepper had only found out moments prior and had zero time to fully process it. FRIDAY scanning all ID’d inhabitants of their home the moment an emergency protocol kicked in --- a moment Pepper learned later to be the Second Snap. FRIDAY quickly scanned her, Morgan, and Happy --- detecting that she was indeed a a couple weeks pregnant and that signs of this were set to start showing soon.

Of course, she had hardly a moment to even begin comprehending this before a Priority Alert came through. Everyone who had vanished was back; devastation at Avengers Compound. Ally ID signatures all diverging to the point.

That was when it was fully activated; Morgan ran into the room showing her that “Mommy’s suit turned on”. She’d never worn the Rescue armor; but she had played around in Tony’s suits. FRIDAY gave her the rundown on it’s hyper intuitive design. Meant for a beginner, but as strong as any of the others. Calls began flooding the systems; fragments of what was happening --- what was going on. Pepper felt overwhelmed.

Until she looks at the suit in her five year old’s hands --- this is it. She can tell; she can feel it in her very being. This is the final fight and it’s not just for the day --- it’s for everything, and Tony is out there facing it. Fighting for them along side the Avengers and they’re gonna need as much help as they can get.

Pepper suits up and joins the battle, Happy keeps Morgan safe and locked in the house while she does.

TONY LIVES

Pepper stays by Tony’s side as he recovers; she momentarily forgets her own ‘delicate’ condition until she starts feeling morning sickness.

While Tony is in recovery, she and Morgan stay somewhere near the hospital until he’s ready to come back home again.

Pepper is forced to prepare her daughter for the very real possibility that Tony might not make it; and it’s one of the hardest moments in her life.

Of course she tells Tony eventually that she’s pregnant again --- after the three months mark / when he’s stable enough to be in a less drugged state and can properly understand her ( whichever happens first ).

Pepper doesn’t know how long Tony will be in hospital, so she has a contingency plan. She has a labour plan for wherever they are staying; plans for Morgan to start school once they are up and running. This is the kind of stuff she’s good at. It’s what she spent a good portion of her life doing before any of this superhero stuff began.

Pepper officially steps down as CEO once businesses like Stark International are running again. She spearheads a lot of charity work; serves on a few boards of organizations that she believes in. She speaks at universities, and earns a recurring column in both Vogue and Teen Vogue for a period of time before fully settling down completely.

The Rescue Armor comes out on occasion; in emergency circumstances but she by no means takes on a superhero mantle. That part of their life is over --- her, Tony and their family deserve a soft epilogue and that’s what they get

TONY DIES

Tony never got to know about their second child; she couldn’t do that to him. Pepper couldn’t make him feel bad about leaving in his last moments. For him, she is brave. For him she holds it together --- eases him gently into his death as much as possible. It’s only after Tony is gone that she allows herself to cry.

Telling Morgan, who is so young and doesn’t truly understand, is one of the hardest things she’s ever done. For days --- weeks, Morgan keeps asking when Tony is coming home and she has to try to explain it all over again. She spends many nights curled up in her bed in attempts to help her sleep.

Pepper’s feelings towards everyone involved are confused; she can’t help but feel anywhere from pettiness to outright anger at times that those who lived survived and that her husband --- someone they knew they needed had to go. It’s not always rational, but she can’t help it. She had spent years watching Tony almost die, sacrifice himself for everyone --- it feels unfair and sometimes she just lets calls go to voicemail; or pretends not to be home. Not always, but sometimes.

Pepper’s pregnancy feels harder than the last time. This time, she’s on her own. Truly on her own. Her emotional state doesn’t make things any easier. Her brother, Sean, takes Pepper and Morgan in once she’s put on early bedrest. Her brother and sister-in-law helping her as much as possible.

Once again, Pepper falls into Postpartum. She tries to hide it for Morgan’s sake; the girl has already dealt with so much. This time, Pepper takes her longest standing advice for Tony, and concedes into Therapy. Pepper misses the farm, but it’s so big and secluded. She’s afraid to go back there for a time --- not doing so until around the time her second child is five years old.

She’s been off work, but not fully retired as CEO this whole time. Someone at the company whom she trusts and keeps her up to date has been Acting CEO while she takes this time. Pepper is more reluctant to let go, feeling as if letting go will let Tony down. He entrusted it to her.

Ultimately, she stays with the Company for a few more years --- but makes sure that she’s able to be a mom too. She’s very much a public figure head and holds power, but she doesn’t manage the day to day things anymore. Slowly phasing out until Pepper officially steps down from Stark Industries.

She always misses and loves Tony, but slowly she learns to move on. Not necessarily in a romantic sense, but she lives her life again.

The Rescue Armour remains locked away, saved only for when the protocols initiate it functions by default once more.

Pepper eventually occupies her time with charity work; things that matter to her but also things she knew mattered to Tony.She begins advocating for more supports for single mothers and expectant mothers; more supports for families and individuals suffering from ptsd and loss. She begins working to achieve goals that will spare others from the hardships she and Tony both had to endure.

She doesn’t hold resentments forever, it’s too toxic to herself and she recognises how unfair she’s being. It’s not easy at times, but she lets herself move on and save friendships and form new ones.

SHARED DETAILS IN BOTH

Pepper lives until her late-nineties --- they cannot prove it, but she suspects her longer and healthier life than average is a lingering side effect of Extremis. She spends a few years enjoying herself in the social circles of Manhattan for company after her children have grown and husband has passed --- before eventually retiring by the sea along the West Coast shoreline that had always felt more like home where she passes away peacefully

Pepper and her brother Sean reform their super close relationship; Morgan gets to meet her cousins and they have a happy dynamic together

Pepper and Gina find a type of peace; they only really see each other on occasion --- but she’s learned that resentment is corrosive and she deserves better.

Pepper eventually pens both a trio of children’s picture books lightly inspired by some of the crazy things ( and people ) in her life as well as a autobiographical bestseller.

She has at least one more child, but she doesn’t carry this one herself; after her second child is born --- she gets her tubes tied to prevent any further health risks.

Pepper remembers Natasha; she makes sure that her contributions were known. She makes sure she is as memorialised as Tony is. Natasha was her friend, she works with Clint to ensure whatever is done is as Natasha would have wanted it.

#a4 spoilers #endgame spoilers #ARC 007 / ENDGAME*#WHO'S THE HOT MESS NOW? ( headcanons* )#DO NOT REBLOG*

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alltheloveflowerh · 6 years

Text

Lie Detector Test ( II )

Part One

Trigger Warning: mentions of death

The aftermath of the Late Late Show interview was a handful. Y/N’s emotions were all over the place, but the little bits from the interview were all over the media. She didn’t want to bother and read what the papers said, but she couldn’t help and let her thoughts wander back to Harry wondering whether he had seen the interview.

They hadn’t spoken ever since she left their apartment but every now and then she found herself missing him more. That day in particular when she woke up feeling nauseous and then kept throwing up for the next half an hour. While she would hesitate with asking her friends to hold her when throwing up, Harry was someone who immediately held her hair back while slowly rubbing her back in comfort. Harry was someone that would always take care of her, and with them being broken up, she had no one kiss goodnight, no one to hold her through the night. No one to love her like he used to. But Y/N had to suck it up and continue like nothing ever happened.

The next stop after Los Angeles was New York City for an interview with Stephen Colbert, so Y/N cleaned herself up, put on some make up to cover her tired eyes and headed to NYC with her team. On the way to NYC she had to explain to her team the situation with Harry. Wanting to keep it away from the public, she kindly asked them that the future questions focus only on the film and not her personal or love life.

As the days went by, Y/N wasn’t feeling any better. Her stomach bug only got worse, waking her up more frequently, but it was okay because she only had one more stop before flying back home. Alex made sure to take care of her, always bringing tea and food that wouldn’t upset her stomach any further, and apparently the assistant of Y/N’s manager as well as her stylist caught some kind of virus too, so they were all collectively taking care of each other.

---

Y/N was happy to be back in England, because that meant no more interviews, no more questions, and she could stay in London for a few days before heading up to her hometown. That was the plan at least.

Two days after she returned from the States, Y/N still wasn’t feeling well, her sleeping schedule was a mess, her headaches became more frequent, she stopped throwing up but her stomach pain got worse. Y/N wasn’t worried though because those are the usual side effects from her jet lag, after all she was travelling for two months straight, eating when she had time and sleeping only on flights. She was careful with what she was eating because she didn’t want to upset her stomach even more, but that was until one day something unusual had happened.

Taking a bath was one of Y/N’s favourite things to do, sometimes it could cause a mess in her head from the rather quiet atmosphere but they were relaxing and that was something Y/N needed after the events in the past three months. But after a few minutes of relaxing in pure silence, she started feeling some light pain in her lower stomach and it wasn’t the kind of pain you get before throwing up. As she opened her eyes and looked in front of herself, she noticed the water in the bathtub had gone a bit red. Panic took over her body because she didn’t know what was happening. It wasn’t her period because she was on the pill, so the more Y/N thought about it, the more she started to panic.

Quickly getting out of the bath and grabbing her phone, Y/N immediately called Alex, her best friend.

‘‘There’s something wrong with me.’‘ She hurriedly said as soon as Alex answered her phone.

‘‘What do you mean? Where are you?’‘ Usually Alex would answer with ‘‘Yeah we all know you’re bloody mental’‘ but the tone of Y/N’s voice was worrying her so she knew it wasn’t something stupid like it always was with Y/N.

‘‘I don’t know. There’s blood everywhere.’‘ She was standing in the middle of her bathroom, looking down and seeing the blood slowly running down her legs onto the bathroom tiles.

‘‘Y/N, you need to go to the hospital. I’m leaving my place as we speak and I’ll be there in five minutes.’‘ Alex hurriedly put some shoes on and sped to her friends house, thinking of causes for what had happened, until she found one.

Y/N was right, when Alex got to her apartment there was blood all over the floors. She found a scared Y/N standing in her living room, who looked as if she had seen a ghost. She was dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants that already caught some blood. Alex didn’t care about the mess on the floor or her bloody pants, she didn’t care about anything but getting Y/N into the hospital as soon as possible.

Alex admitted her into the ER but soon after they said what the problem was, the nurse paged a doctor who said that they had to transfer Y/N into a operation room immediately. The nurse who stayed with Alex in the ER explained the situation, while two nurses and doctor Miller were carrying Y/N into an OR saying things like ‘’You will be okay’’, ‘’We’re going to take care of you’’ but Y/N couldn’t hear anything, their voices were muted. It was like everything around her was quiet, she just felt intense pain in her lower abdomen. Thoughts swimming through her head, until she heard five words and completely blacked out. You have suffered a miscarriage.

---

Waking up in a hospital bed was never fun, not because people hate hospitals but because you never wake up feeling okay, there’s always some kind of pain. When Y/N opened her eyes, she saw five people standing in the room and only one wasn’t wearing a white coat.

‘‘How are you feeling, Miss Y/N?’‘ One of the doctors asked.

‘‘Like someone stabbed me in the stomach.’‘ Her voice was groggy, exhausted. Her voice was sad but the atmosphere in the room wasn’t any better.

‘‘We are so sorry, Miss, but-’‘

‘‘Please don’t say anything. Please.’‘ She wasn’t ready to hear anything the doctors were about to say. Alex was sitting next to her holding her hand, with tears in her eyes.

‘‘Y/N, please..’‘ Alex took her hand, bringing it closer to her lips. ‘‘Just listen to them, okay?’‘ All she could do was nod.

‘‘You were thirteen weeks pregnant, but unfortunately due to the abnormal number of chromosomes you’ve suffered a miscarriage. I am so sorry, Miss Y/N.’‘ The doctor gave her a sympathetic look.

‘‘But-’‘ Y/N looked down at her stomach, ‘‘How? I don’t- didn’t have a tummy? If I had been in the third month, there- there was supposed to be a tummy?’‘ Her hand went to her stomach, gently rubbing the spot where her little baby was supposed to be.

‘‘Yes, you are correct, after the eleventh week the embryo becomes a fetus, but in your case the embryo never developed any further. It’s one of the reasons the miscarriage had occurred.’‘ A nurse called Emma explained. Her voice was soft, almost as if she had said it louder it would have hurt her.

‘‘This is my fault, isn’t it? Oh my God, I killed my baby.’’ Tears started falling down her cheeks, her hand gently massaging her tummy. ‘’This is all my fault.’’

‘‘No, Y/N- may I call you that? This is not your fault-’‘

‘‘Yes it is! If I ate regularly and slept enough, maybe it would have grown properly-’‘

‘‘Y/N please stop blaming yourself.’‘ Alex squeezed her hand tighter, feeling her own tears fall down as she watched her best friend break into pieces. Almost the same way like when she came to her apartment after the break up. Puffy cheeks, tears in her eyes, her body shaking. Only, this was way worse.

‘‘No! Stop! A baby can survive a trisomy, it happens. Maybe my baby would have had Down Syndrome but it would have been alive and healthy. I would have loved it with everything I have!’‘ She put her head into her arms, wanting to tug at her own hair. She killed her- their baby. It was Harry’s baby too. How was she supposed to tell her ex boyfriend that she just lost their baby? The more thoughts consumed her head, the worse she was feeling.

‘‘I want to be alone, please.’‘ Y/N said, almost as a whisper.

‘‘Y/N..’‘ Alex wanted to tell her she couldn’t be alone, but she knew her best friend better than anyone, she also knew Y/N wouldn’t give up until she got what she wanted. ‘’Okay.. We will leave you alone for a few minutes, and then I will be back, alright?’’ Y/N just nodded.

The medical staff apologised once again before they left, understanding her wish to be left alone. Alex got up from her chair when she felt Y/N’s grip tighten around her wrist.

‘‘Don’t call Harry, okay? I’ll tell him myself.’‘

‘‘Please don’t do that to yourself. Please-’‘

‘‘Just let me have that, at least. Let me be the one to tell him.’‘ She pleaded.

‘‘Okay.’‘ Alex nodded, ‘‘I’ll be here in fifteen minutes with some pudding, yeah?’‘ she offered her a soft smile before exiting the room.

Y/N tried her best to return the smile before she let the darkness consume her. She still couldn’t comprehend the events from the past 24 hours, but there was also no way for her to be prepared for the next few months.

The next morning Y/N persuaded the doctors to let her leave. She signed the papers, as she heard them advise her to go and see a therapist. They told her about the emotions she might start to feel. Her bleeding will continue for a few more days, maybe a week but she was scheduled to come back for a check up next week.

She was sick of listening to all of them talk, she was sick of the hospital. All she wanted was to go home. Alex was the only one that respected her decisions but under the condition that she stays with Y/N for at least two weeks.

When they left the hospital, all she could think about was Harry and telling him what had happened. It was only fair for him to know, and she owned him at least that. So that’s what she did.

After she spent some time home, she decided to visit Harry. Alex drove her to their old apartment and stayed in the car while Y/N took the envelope and headed to 5th floor where their- or now his, apartment was. She didn’t know if he was home, but she hoped he was.

She rang the doorbell and after a few minutes the door opened. After over three months Y/N saw him again. She missed him.

‘‘Y/N.. H-H-Hi, how are you?’‘ Harry spoke, breaking the silence between them. She didn’t look well, was what he noticed.

‘‘Hey, Harry.’‘ She tried to offer him a soft smile before she crushed his heart once more. ‘’This is for you.’’ She added, handing him the envelope.

‘‘W-What is this, exactly?’‘ Confusion took him, why was she giving him a letter?

‘‘Just read it, please?’‘

‘‘Oh, okay.’‘ He said, opening the envelope.

‘‘No!’‘ She almost yelled, ‘‘R-Read it when someone’s with you. Call Gemma, I know she’s in town. D-Don’t read it on your own, okay?’‘

‘‘Alright, I won’t, promise. Do you maybe wanna come in?’‘ Anyone could hear the hope in his voice. Holding onto the hope for the past three months was hard, but he still hoped that maybe they will find a way back to each other.

‘‘Oh, no, I-I-I can’t. I’m sorry... I just can’t.’‘ Y/N was fidgeted with her fingers. She was scared, nervous, sad; she was an emotional mess. ‘‘Alex is waiting downstairs for me, I have to go.’‘ She kept trying to smile at him, for some kind of reassurance but it wasn’t working. She couldn’t smile at him, knowing what he was about to read.

‘‘Okay.’‘ His voice was filled with sadness that it almost broke Y/N’s heart. Almost, because her heart couldn’t be broken any more than it already was. ‘‘It was good seeing you, love. Even if just for a few minutes.’‘ He said after she turned around, waved, leaving him once again.

Harry listened to Y/N and he didn’t open the envelope until Gemma came around. Gemma was quite worried, because she knew what kind of a state her brother was left due to his own stupid mistake, of course, but as his sister she couldn’t help but worry why Y/N suddenly decided to bring him a letter.

Harry and Gemma sat down quietly on the couch in the living room. Both of them grew nervous with each passing second. Gemma was patiently waiting, while her brother tore the envelope and started reading what seemed to be a printed out letter.

As Harry began scanning the words written down the more he got confused. There were so many terms he couldn’t understand. In a case like this, he would usually have Y/N by his side telling him what all these big words meant. Not that Harry himself wasn’t smart, it was just that Y/N had a degree and she was proper smart, one of the things he loved so much about her. She was so book smart and he always loved listening to her use those big words when explaining simple things. But even though he would have needed Y/N to tell him what all those words meant, he didn’t need to know what the word miscarriage meant.

His heart started beating so fast that even Gemma could hear it. What was he reading? His eyes quickly looked back to the top of the letter, seeing a name and logo of the local hospital both of them went to whenever they were sick. He scanned the words again, not believing his own eyes. This couldn’t be true, right? At the bottom of the paper was a signature, a rather messy one, it looked like one of those from a doctor.

It was almost as if he was locked up in a small room, it was like the air got thicker and he was running out of it. His palms were sweating, his heart beating at an unusual speed. If he thought that his heart had started repairing itself from the previous heartbreak, it just broke into million pieces more, when he realised the smaller note inside the envelope. He let the letters fall out of his hand.

The note said - I’m so sorry - in a messy but very recognisable handwriting. As the letters slowly fell down to the ground, Harry’s chest tightened even more as loud sobs escaped his lips.

Part three

extra: after + late late

#pls dont hate me #do let me know what you think #harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles writing #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #imagine #harry styles imagines #lie detector test pt 1 #lie detector test pt 2 #angst!harry

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bigboxofbees · 5 years

Text

Georgia, Alabama, Missouri and everyone else...

I would like to place a disclaimer here first, since I know some people don't wish to read about this and these are some more serious topics.

This text will include discussions/mentions of:

Abortion

Rape and sexual assault

The holocaust

So if you do not wish to read about those topics, I suggest you skip this text.

Also to note, I'm using pretty heteronormative language here, since I deem it appropriate. However, this does not mean that I ignore the fact that trans men and non-binary individuals can get pregnant, I am well aware, but their perspective might look a bit different from what I'm describing here.

Why did I spend like two hours on this?

In the past week or so, all I've seen all over social media is about abortion. Which makes sense, given the horrendous laws that are being passed as we speak in the US. It's a good thing that people are talking about this, it's extremely important. But it's also very tiring, despite not being american this debate has certainly taken a toll on me. I've wanted to write about this in dept for the whole week, but I haven't been able to get myself to do it. But I'm doing this now. So buckle up, because this is going to be a long post about all the things I've thought about and discussed this past week. However, this is by no means a complete list. And for convenience, I'm going to use different headlines to sort things.

How do we define life and which lives should be protected?

Does life begin at conception? From a legal and scientific perspective, not really. While cells certainly are alive, that doesn't mean that every living cell is part of a living being. And it is living beings we wish to protect, right? Otherwise, we'd protect plants and bacteria as well, and I think we can all agree that plants aren't people. What about animals? They are most certainly living beings, yet we kill them for food (despite the fact that it's possible for almost everyone to live a life without eating meat). I'd argue that any living animal is more worth protecting than an embryo, because animals are sentient. And I am by no means a vegan, but I do find it rather telling when I've asked pro-birth people if they're vegans and all I've gotten was silence.

Speaking from a legal and scientific perspective, a heartbeat does not determine "life". In order to be consider a life, a living being, the organism has to meet a couple of criteria; a embryo or a fetus before around the 25th week does not meet those criteria. What we use to determine life is not a heartbeat, it's brain activity. Brain activity cannot be maintained without a heartbeat, however, a heartbeat can exist without brain activity. That's why relatives can choose to pull the plug when their loved one is brain dead; because they are considered dead, despite the fact that they have a heartbeat. That's why a heartbeat isn't the definition of life; brain activity is.

A fetus can't have more human rights than a person

"It's not your body, it's a separate life! It has the right to life!" Well... does it, really? Let's say it is a person (even though it is not), a fetus cannot be given more rights than a person. Yes, I did say "more rights". Say a fetus would have all the human rights a person has, that still doesn't permit the fetus to use the pregnant person's body against their will. Nobody has the right to use another persons body unless they consent to it, I don't and neither do you. Doesn't matter if it's the only way to survive, it is still not a right to survive using another person's body. So why should a fetus have that right? If a fetus is equal to a living human person, then it doesn't have that right. In fact, you can't do anything to another person's body unless they've given consent, not even after they're dead. Pregnant people should not have less bodily autonomy than a corpse.

The poor becomes poorer

Rich people won't be affected by abortion bans, period. Really, anyone with the means to travel out of state for a weekend can still obtain an abortion legally. So who will be forced to give birth to children? Teenagers with little to no support and the poor, those who's lives are affected the most by unwanted pregnancies. Teenagers who likely have to put their plans for the future on ice to work a low-paying job to support their child, thus landing themselves and the child in poverty. And the poor will be forced to have more children resulting in even more severe poverty. Abortion bans feeds the circle of poverty. I don't mean to be a conspiracy theorist here, but who profits from this? The rich. Who has the most influence over the creation of laws? The rich.

When things get ugly

I've seen several really vile comparisons. But the worst one has to be the one with the holocaust, which I see frequently, tightly followed by slavery. These people consider the termination of embryos and fetuses to be equal to the horrors and dehumanization of the holocaust and of slavery. They can't seem to comprehend that a blob of non-sentient cells is not the same as a living human being. They've argued that "well Hitler and slave owners didn't consider those humans to be people, and you are not considering human life (note: fetuses, but they don't see it that way) people, so how are you any better than Hitler?" In fact, I outright asked a woman if she truly believed a 5 year old child crying for their mother at Auschwitz was equal to an embryo. She said yes, and saw nothing wrong with that. That is probably the most insane thing I have heard this week. Yet it's not too far from what I've seen multiple times; that legal and safe abortion is the "holocaust but for poor innocent babies". And in all honesty, I don't have much to say about this, it's just horrible and I don't know how to respond.

The hypocrisy, it was never about "life"

If it truly was, then this wouldn't be their top priority. And if it was truly about eliminating the need for abortions, this wouldn't be their top priority. Their top priority then would be to reduce the need for abortions through education and accessible birth control for all, and the second step would be to create social programs and fund organizations that help with the financial burden of raising a child, yet the states that have passed these laws do next to nothing to prevent unwanted/unplanned pregnancies nor help those who want to have the child but cannot afford that.

Making abortion illegal would only stop safe abortions from happening, since it does nothing to reduce the need for them. Illegal and unsafe abortions will increase, and women will hurt themselves or kill themselves because they were denied an abortion. It would also mean that all miscarriages would be investigated as a possible crime, putting women in prison for natural miscarriages. Not to mention that I've heard pro-birthers advocate for the death penalty for having an abortion. I have personally encountered pro-birthers who want this to happen, who think women who seek abortions deserve to die from unsafe abortions. How very pro-"life" of them.

I also noticed a parallell with the death penalty, a large portion of pro-birth people support the death penalty and see nothing morally wrong with that. That is also very hypocritical, how can you in the same breath say "all life is precious" and "execute the criminal" without sounding like the biggest fool? By doing that, you are at that point picking and choosing who deserves life according to you, at that means it's no longer about how all life must be protected.

And finally, a fair amount of people who are pro-birth do still think it's okay to have an abortion if you were raped. Why? I thought you cared about all human life? How is this any different? Yet another example of hypocrisy. They know it's cruel to force someone to carry their rapist's child, and they know they can't advocate for that. So for some reason they make an exception, an exception that goes against what they claim is their core belief (keep this particular part in mind when you read the next two parts). It really doesn't make sense, so perhaps it's not truly about "life".

Power play

Being pregnant is much different from getting someone pregnant. One has to be pregnant for 9 months, give birth and alter their body permanently. The other part could simply walk away at any moment and never look back. That is not an option for the one who's pregnant, and they are often the one left to deal with the child once it's born, altering their life to fit the needs of the child. And even if there is a father in the picture, the mother is still more likely to carry most of the responsibility. And if we look to the past, and we only have to rewind a few decades, the woman in the relationship was expected to be a stay at home mom, with no option to have a career. And while she was at home, tending to the home, making sure her husband never had to lift a finger in the house, he was out working and making a name for himself. This power imbalance doesn't exist to the same extent when women have ownership over their own bodies. And I can't help but feeling that this is related to why some people want to criminalize abortion; because if women can exist on the same conditions as them, their spaces are threatened.

It takes two to tango

"Close your legs", "don't have sex unless you want a baby", "it takes two to tango". Sounds familiar? These are all phrases used by pro-birthers, and they are almost almost directed at the female. So why does the man get a pass? When they say "close your legs", they never follow it up with "keep it in your pants". When they say "don't have sex unless you want a baby", they never follow it up with "don't have sex unless you want to be a father". When they say "it takes two to tango", they never follow it up with "if he gets her pregnant, he has to take responsibility and support her".

Men wanting to have sex is seen as natural, normal and a need, but if women want to have sex they need to be punished, the punishment being "having to take responsibility", which really is just code for "pregnancy is a punishment for women wanting to have sex".

A slippery slope

If we consider abortion, the removal of pregnancy, morally wrong because it stops a child from developing, then where do we draw the line? Would embryos at a fertility clinic be entitled to personhood? Would all embryos have to be used to grow a person? Would using a condom be illegal because it interrupts the natural process? Same with other forms of birth control? And what about periods and male masturbation, is that "throwing way" potential life? I know some religious people think contraceptives and plan b should be illegal, and I could definitely see how these types of laws could lead to future restrictions on birth control.

Final thoughts

Pro-"life" has never been about protecting life. It has always been about birthing babies, controlling women in different ways and punishing women who dare to have sex just because she wants to. Pro-birth people also have plenty of flaws in their arguments and the hypocrisy is unbelieveable. Abortion is by no means a black and white issue, it never has been, but criminalizing abortion will do more harm than good and will not stop abortions from happening. And fact of the matter is, morality is subjective. While you may think it's wrong to terminate a pregnancy, I don't. However, I do think it's morally wrong to force your personal beliefs into other people's lives.

#pro choice #womens rights #womens reproductive health #abortion rights #feminism #reproductive rights #abortion #us politics #sociology #philosophy

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