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#it once again feels like im doing something very wrong
goomyloid · 13 hours
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PLEASE explain your thoughts on kriselle in full detail
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS 100% UNPROMPTED ASK! I SHALL EXPLAIN
i hate toby fox. why did he do this to us. he really put it better than anyone else. not really romantic not really platonic but…. something else… some secret more sinister more heartfelt more absurd third thing
i wonder at what point should i clarify that i dont even really seek out kriselle in a romantic context… DONT GET ME WRONG i have zero issues with the ship whatsoever and all of the krisellers out there are living their best (most painful) lives and i SEE THE APPEAL. BUT when i rotate them in my brain i dont need them to kiss or anything like that i just need them to sit down and sadly hold hands and stay like that forever and ever. in case you couldnt gauge that from my art so far
tldr i dont think i ship them in the traditional sense at least …. the things that i usually fixate on for any romantic ship are not there with these two. there are no romantic feelings there In my mind. and all at the same time i start screaming and throwing up and killing myself (all positive) whenever i see them even in the same image together. hngh
ive tried explaining this to people before and they usually suggest something along the lines of a QPR and even that doesnt feel right to me. truly the best way i can put it is… that red string of fate man… which i almost hesitate on saying too because i dont actually know if noelle is Quite an important enough character to the story to warrant a connection like that. WHICH IS A CRAZY THING TO SAY. I KNOW. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING ME WRONG i think dess and her connections to gaster and her usage as a stepping stone into the weird route are all VERY important… but in my brain its just not kris/knight/asriel/every other mysterious main focus of the story Important. i didnt mean to get into deltarune theorizing here i hope nobody’s blood is boiling rn
so yeah in the end. toby fox once again put it best. they are friends, but they are also something else.
back to the actual pairing though… sometimes i think im going overboard and overestimating how close kris and noelle were as children because noelle will go and say things like “i wonder if we were ever really friends at all.” which is kind of a fair statement considering the circumstances. sure they played together and all and tagged along with their siblings to do stuff together but when dess went missing… it all kind of stopped. kris is just a kid, they dont know what to do or even how to process it, much like noelle. asriel is probably dealing with his own feelings, he just lost his friend and likely old enough to understand the weight of what happened. while noelle and kris cant say much to each other at all.
im always back and forth on speaking headcanons for kris but the one that i always seem to come back to is selective mutism… to me kris had a lot of trouble communicating well as a child and could only grow comfortable around certain people, asriel and noelle being clear examples because they’re both so patient with them. maybe because of this noelle felt like they could understand each other without really needing words, and just physical interaction was enough to achieve some form of closeness… or maybe that was all just on her end, she thinks when kris goes to play the piano. but if that’s the case, why does it feel like a concert just for her…?
jesus dont even get me start on them as teenagers either. noelle has lost her sister, and now kris has lost their brother… but not in the same way. they look at each other and wonder if they’re the same now. or, maybe thats too cruel. maybe its not the same thing at all. asriel’s coming back soon, after all. it will all be over soon, kris won’t have to feel this way for much longer, right? so then, why does kris look so miserable, sitting in the corner over there? all noelle feels like she can do is sit next to them quietly. to be there, and to somehow, vaguely, messily help each other. the misfit kids that dont really know how to talk to each other and yet understand each other regardless
thats why the dark world feels like such a dream to her. these crazy city lights, fantastical creatures, susie’s there, and she actually might have the means to defend herself and stand her ground, whether it be verbally or… otherwise
and most of all, much like with kris offering an adventurous haven to susie in ch1, the same is extended to noelle. by kris’s side, no less. it feels like theyre doing things together again, and its fun, and nostalgic… she wants to bring dess. and i think its okay to assume kris wants to bring asriel, too. recreating the make-believe world they lost so long ago… is it really possible?
no… how can it really be possible, when this isnt kris? something is wrong. its almost perfect, except kris… it’s them, but it’s not. she sees their face, their expressions, their laughs, their worries. and yet the voice that comes from them… isnt them. and it scares her! even if nothing particularly bad happened as a result. and if something bad DID happen, well…
she just wants what they had before back. is it really so impossible? can they reconcile after all these years? does kris want to? is kris capable of doing so? maybe they just need to hug again. will it feel like a real hug? the person she thought she understood is acting in ways she doesnt understand. they’re telling her to do weird things. they cycle through actions as if they just want to know what happens. and they cant even play piano anymore.
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ace-sher-bi-john · 6 months
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Just wanted to reaffirm to myself and the world that romance-favorable aros are valid. Greyromantics, demiromantics and any other aro-spec identities that experience occasional romantic attraction are valid. Aromantics who for whatever reason still desire and take part in romantic relationships are valid.
It's been a bit of a rough ride to get to where I know this to be true. When I first found out I was aroace, I felt broken for identifying as aroace and still wanting to get married someday. It felt like I was lying in some way, or that I was betraying the aromantic community by wanting what by definition of being aromantic, I should never want. I felt guilty knowing my future partners would feel things towards me that I would never be able to feel in return.
I know that most of the aromantic affirmations are themed around wanting to make sure that aromantics in general know they are valid in an amatonormative world. Most aromantics experience the exact opposite problem as me, not feeling valid in having zero desire for romantic relationships (which is of course valid, romance-indifferent, romance-averse and romance-repulsed aros are very much valid). But there is next to nothing on the internet that I've been able to find saying that it's okay to be aromantic and romance favorable. You're not betraying the community in some way. You're valid too.
So here's that post. If you are romance-favorable and aro-spec, you're valid too. Don't feel as though your identity forces you into a box. The label that fits you best isn't tailor made specifically for you and you can do whatever you want to make it your own.
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accidental-spice · 2 months
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In the words of Jessica Day, "Work sucked today, my friends"
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ourstarscollided · 1 year
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You’re welcome to explain your answer in the tags!
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reading dungeon meshi
#random thoughts#it has the kind of plot i hate where you retread the same plot point repeatedly while making progress elsewhere#like hi falin bye falin#like i cared about them finding falin. then they found her. and now she's gone again.#i don't like marcille but in like. a compelling way. she's my favorite archetype of character who is specifically female for some reason?#lady who thinks her way is the right way and she's morally right and therefore everyone else is wrong#high conscientiousness with low openness to experience. see themselves as agreeable dutiful and restrained while not being any of that#they tend to take on moralistic causes but they usually don't have a defined reason for WHY they're doing it so it just comes off as preachy#and the narrative tends to take their side with no basis in why#like when marcille tried to prove herself with the mandrakes and put everyone in danger and senshi conceded he was ALSO in the wrong???#and even marcille was like 'that wasn't my point at all'#that entire chapter made me mad it was so good#it's also doing that thing i hate when a piece of media introduces too many characters at once#like who's who what's what who is important who should i remember#i love the detail put into the cooking sessions!!!#i love how all the characters are so fucked up and not even in plot-important ways#like chilchuck's cowardice is very important to the plot but senshi was straight-up willing to let a man die for his flavorful cooking lmao#laios is. my man. i need him carnally.#i get that the whole 'got eaten by dragon' thing was not meant to be the Whole Plot but i feel like the background plot is just not my thing#either that or it wasn't set up in a compelling enough way?#idk. im still reading#all in all i think dungeon meshi might just not be my thing? plot-wise i mean. i love the characters and the general premise#of monster biology and environmentalism and cooking and augh#i don't like how everytime senshi corrects marcille on something so far he ends up going 'i guess i also need to learn a thing or two'#like on the mandrakes? the man has FIELD EXPERIENCE he was entirely in the right to prefer his method!!!#and on the environment thing? first of all marcille's whole thing is building artificial dungeons she SHOULD care about the food chain#SECOND OF ALL telling marcille she shouldn't kill so many fishmen isn't playing GOD or whatever#that kraken was a fucking. extenuating circumstance. it was literally there just to make marcille's argument credible#animals killing each other through the food chain is different from marcille using what is essentially a rocket launcher#god i ran out of tags. peace and luv bruvs 🤟 kind of have a hate crush on marcille now. need her
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sucrose-soymilk · 8 months
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hadn’t really regressed in a While and i didn’t realize how much i missed/dareisay needed it until i had the free time and ability to do so over the last few days and i have to say. i’m feeling a bit better
#imagine that! the coping mechanism… helps!!! wow#Seven’s Small Thoughts#not tagging this as anything else bc this blog is really just a not-so-secret public diary#and im not really trying to gain any sort of following or participate in the community very much#i just wanna talk to the void abt regression every once in a blue moon y’know#i also feel like i don’t really belong in the community much/am not a Good Example of sfw agere since i’m very n/ s/ f/ w everywhere else#which is a double standard that i don’t hold others to but i feel like others will hold it against me??? and i’m just shy anyways#and not looking to interact. just wanna keep all this stuff tucked away in a side-blog#i also feel like a lot of the community likes to blog while actively regressed and i don’t wanna step in there as someone who isn’t#nothing wrong with it! at all! i just don’t have the capacity to since i go nonverbal when i regress. no thoughts head blissfully empty#anyways this wasn’t supposed to be a vent post let’s change the topic!#anywhooo what else did i come on here to say. oh yeah#i lowkey forgot how much regressing has helped me in the past until i was able to really indulge myself in it again recently#it’s so nice to just be small and hand someone else the reins and forget abt everything other than doing something you enjoy#maybe one day i’ll be at a point in my life where i can fully regress more freely and more often but for now i’ll take what i can get#i’m also excited because i’ve been thinking abt ordering a paci from this one specific seller#and yesterday saw that they’re dropping a new batch of fall/halloween themed ones today!!!#so now i’ve gotta make myself stay awake until 6pm so i can jump on it when they’re available#which is a small struggle considering my nocturnal sleep schedule but i will do it nonetheless#that crescent moon patterned one Will Be Mine#trying to decide between buttercup yellow and schoolbus yellow for the clip#i think i’m more drawn to the vibrancy of the schoolbus yellow honestly#eeeeeee i’m excited i’ve been wanting to treat myself to ordering from this shop for a g e s and im finally gonna do it
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widevibratobitch · 1 month
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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee
#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time#and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again#have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind#ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her#that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right#to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel#that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week#and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes#'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like#i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying#a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again#because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it#i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour#pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA
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spacedlexi · 1 year
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up until this point i feel like hbo’s tlou has been pretty good at expanding upon pre-existing content from the game, but for me this new episode was kinda mid..
i wouldve liked to see more expansion on sam and henrys story, or maybe even kyle and ish?? (loved that story)(they showed the drawing of them for a half second and they renamed kyle for no reason 💀). but instead we get introduced to this kathleen (?? can barely remember her name) lady who i couldnt get myself to care about. cared more about her 2nd in command guy
sam and henry were my favorite of the original supporting cast and they have to share their time with this lady that puts me to sleep, while frank and bill got nearly an entire heartfelt episode dedicated to them
with the side stories theyre choosing to tell so far i feel like by the time we get to part 2 its gonna be like “we’re doing THIS again??” (and part 2 was already kinda like that for me as in it didnt really do anything new or interesting for me)
like oh my god we’re still going on about revenge and forgiveness and ooooh nobody is perfectly good or bad we are all shades of grey 2 sides of the same coin yadda yadda except now theyre all self aware about it 😭💀
like can we write anything else?? besides trying to make both sides of a violent conflict equal of course because they love doing that (dont think i forgot abt the weird palestine/israel parallel in pt2 i think that was the worst one for me). but kathleen is basically just abby again and unless part 2 is a complete rewrite then im gonna be honk shoo mimimimi ASLEEP
#hbo tlou#tlou hbo#spoilers for the new ep and i guess part 2??#but yeah ive been mostly enjoying this show up until this point#but theres been like a little gnat every once in a while buzzing annoyingly at my ear#and i go 'ugh shut up fuck off' and swat it away#and im still enjoying it dont get me wrong#i really wanted them to do sam and henry well so my bar was high and that little fuckin gnat is buzzing at me again#indulge my little rant so i can let it out and cool off#i like tlou as a whole but i do feel like at this point these are things that i guess niel?? suffers with as a writer#and whoever else is in the writing room with him#cuz these are problems ive had with the games too#grabs my airhorn AND I STILL LIKE IT!!!!!!! I STILL LIKE THE LAST OF US!!!! YOU CAN HAVE CRITIQUES AND LIKE SOMETHING!!!!!!#sometimes people act like you say anything bad about something and suddenly it means you hate the whole thing and why are you watching it??#you are so BORING#but ive been very nice to this show so far so let me have this#it speaks#also just a little thing they made henry less 'savvy' i guess and more reckless? game henry was tense and no nonsense but also chill#like they had him trip up a few times and i was like psh game henry would only do that on accident#just really dont like how they handled sam and henry like whyd they do that....liked it better when he was also an outsider to the city#and i have mixed feelings about....sams whole thing...#SIGH BIG SIGH OH WELL at least i still have game sam and henry to look forward to i will be getting back to that stream#its been almost a decade and game sam and henry manage to rip my heart out EVERY single time like i said the bar was so high#so im not holding the S+H stuff against them as much as i am the fuckin revenge/forgiveness shit#im so tired of it#if this story was supposed to be some kind of precursor to pt 2 then like i think theyre starting to overdo it
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tibbycaps · 10 months
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theolddivorcedzukka · 2 years
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my powerpoint presentation on why “careless whisper” is about divorced zukka. slide 1 out of 64
#i have this very vivid scene in my head for the divorcedzukka au i haven’t written yet and it’s called izumi’s bday#it’s where things go awfully wrong for them once again (this is like their…fourteenth again of the day)#‘though it’s easy to pretend i know you’re not a fool’ im gonna kill myself they pretend that the thing they had for each other years ago is#dead and they can keep being like they were when they were just friends but they both want more and though they try to deny it and say it’s#all in their heads they know deep down that there’s still something here and they can’t ignore it but they also can’t pursue it. insane#okay that’s just one of the lyrics but i feel so much about it#the bridge is so them ‘i wish that we could lose this crowd. maybe it’s better this way we’d hurt each other with the things we want to say’#and that’s the thing one of the things that made them separate was the knowledge that the world was watching them they’re major figures now#so everyone has their eyes on them and they thought that they could do well with keeping it secret when they were younger but the world got#into their life the world got into their safe place until they couldn’t do with it anymore#and they’re lying to themselves ‘maybe it’s better this way’ no it isn’t!!! but they tried once years ago and it didn’t work out and its#like all roads are wrong but what can they do??? WHAT CAN THEY FUCKING DO?????#i’m gonna die#vee keep talking#divorced zukka
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caruliaa · 1 year
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yes offense actually but like "uuhmm this trans headcanon doesnt make SENSE though" has always been one of just. the most inane takes in fandom ever like. assuming the person making it is someone whos otherwise an ally to trans people/not transphobic (just because with people who are transphobic that an issue thats obviously much bigger than just fandom stuff) whyy !! do you give a shit !!! like why !!! like bla bla i understand if you dont think the idea of that character being trans makes sense or you think something is canon contradicts it or you dont think its in character whatever it is you dont have to hc them as trans if you dont see them as trans you can even talk about how you think theyre cis if you want but like. its literally not hard to just not treat people who do have those trans headcanons as if theyre wrong or that their interpretation of the character is stupid/something to be mocked or act as though your superior for not reading them that way like. even if that doesnt come from a place of transphobia you will inevitably read that way to some people and regardless like. who gives a shit if someone is seeing themselves within a character/reading that character the way they want to esp in regards to a group of people with such a pitiful lack of positive representation as trans people. like get over yourself
#^^^^^ what my last post was about. i told u it wld b very obvious tht these ppl were in the wrong#(and i wonder why i was afraid to have any opinion on this show around these mutual in laws. jfc)#anyway like. please read this and like. consider it esp if you know who im talking about bc i feel like they received very little pushback#for acting that way and like. im not saying go give them that pushback do whatever u want im j saying pls consider tht that attitude#is wrong and like. You Should Not Mock Trans Headcanons as basic as that feels to say#sorry if im being like. mean or harsh or whatever tihs is just something i see as so like. fucked like why r acting that way !!!#abt trans ppl seeing themselves in characters they like !!! bc a lot of the time thats the 'reason' behind these trans hcs !!!l#i feel like my mutuals who arent from [REDACTED] fandom r gonna see this and b like what kind of ppl did u have to deal w and yk what#if i keep thinking about it ill start being mad at someone other than them who i really dont want to b mad at abt this again so lets move o#anyway this post is okay to rb btw its not just meant to b abt the ppl im kinda vauging#bc ik this is a phenomena in many fandoms and its just stupid. and downright cruel once it reaches mocking ppl#so feel free to ignore me nd j rb this and go of about ppl being stupid in whatever fandom ur in in the tags#let of some steam god knows i have plenty to let of thinking abt tihs phenomena. anyway time to be normal hopefully.#flappy rambles
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finalhaunts · 2 years
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#.txt#fuck man.#thinking about my ex. agh.#i dont know how i feel about things i guess#ive moved on and im happy he’s happy /gen but also whenever I think about him I just get so upset#I guess I’m just wondering what I did wrong. its been over a year and im still just so upset whenever i think about it#because it had been nearly two years since we got together and he just. broke up with me out of the blue.#and I never got an explanation as to why. even when I asked he didn’t tell me#and part of me is thinking ‘’well i should just respect whether he wants to say or not’’ but at the same time don’t I deserve some closure?#he said it wasn’t because of her at least. but part of me can’t help thinking he left me because he was happier with her.#I feel like maybe I was just too much. and thats why he left.#im too anxious and too paranoid and too scared whenever i enter a relationship because i don’t want to do something unforgivable.#i dont want to hurt anyone. that’s the last thing i want. I don’t want to push anyone away.#and im hurt that it didnt work out and i want to know what I did wrong but#at the same time i feel like im. happier. now that im out of that relationship#he wssnt a bad guy and he still isnt /gen. i just. i dont know#looking back on the relationship i don’t feel like i was happy. and once we broke it off we drifted apart quickly#and even if he didnt do anything wrong i feel Very uncomfortable over the thought of us interacting again. even just as mutuals or whatever#I think I’ve honestly just given up on trying to find love. its never worked out for me#ill just stick to the fictional ones. thanks.#also if anyone readjng has any clue who this js please dont mention it#this isnt like. a callout or me trying to smear him or whatever he’s genuinely a great guy#im just. having a lot of mixed emotions. even after so long.#vent
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29121996 · 9 months
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#i rlly just gotta get through the next month and then life will feel worth living again#i mean im gonna be on autopilot and living in that weird headspace i get when everything feels Too Much#but once i see twice ill have a new found joy for life and . itll kickstart something in my brain#it alwahs does#t1975 did jt last time#however . i do not wanna be alivs for the next few months bc despite the minor relief i feel#i feel like ive nust lost everything and theres a emoty Pit in my chest#its fun its fine its for the plot#anyway i wanna fucking kill myself. here we go again i gotta get this over with eventuslly#rip the bandaid off or something#bc evsn tho i know how i want this to pan out - there is a middle part i dont wanna deal with or accept is haopening#but too bad bc it IS happening !!!!#and . i cant or wont talk abt this bc its sl fucking delusional and . cringy but i am a just a teenage girl in a 21yr old#but FUUUUCK this makes me SICK and i should 100% activate my ego or wtv it is im supposed to Have#but diggity dawg .#side note i feel like i have imposter syndrom or something bc the way i do feel abt this is very . New#like i do genuinely think my self esteem or something has gotten better bc i am so fucking sad dont get mw wrong#but i also dont feel like ive lost a chunk of who i was this time. its just . Upsetting ti know that i dont get to experience that anymore#i gotta find a new way to mmget the same happiness or whatever.#i dont nnow.#i wanna die abt it regardless even if i think im okay#bc i am inherently and i will be !!!! but . hnhnhnhnhnhhn u all get it .
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ithacanradio · 10 months
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do you ever call your friends and manage to set up a date after months and you are so so happy yet their behavior immediately reminds you that there's something wrong with them <3
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shoresalt · 11 months
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long post about school
i cant help but take academic advice and suggestions and marks so personally as if they reflect who i am morally and my personality. even the simplest mistake of formatting a citation incorrectly ((when citations weren't even necessary i just wanted to provide a source... ) makes me think i am unfixable. and then i see 80s on my report cards and freak out inside. but if anyone else told me they got that mark i would be happy for them. i dont view even lower marks as a representation of my friends? so why do i assume others are having those thoughts about me? is it because i dont know my teachers very personally? and they're more prone to making assumptions about me? (are they even, really??) i feel offended when i see that i'm not at the top of my class. because it makes me look lazy compared to past grades, even if my teachers and classmates didn't even know me then. i'm afraid they'll see me failing and be mad or rude or think i'm no good. grades never affect the way i perceive others. why isnt it the same when i flip it to myself???
i need to find a way to understand that that advice will result in me learning! it does! i have demonstrated this! i can learn from my mistakes!!! i already understand it, logically, but it still pains me anyways. maybe its the permanence of grades. the way they dont change even when i learn something correctly or fix a mistake.
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fairymosh · 1 year
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bruh
#i personally cant stand when people ship logan & louise in bob's burgers#like first of all he's in HIGH SCHOOL & she's in ELEMENTARY#like idgaf that 'after a few years the age gap wont matter!' its creepy and weird#he's 7 years older than her AND he's a bully???! hello??!#logan is a DICK to her and her siblings jfc chasing them and shit just to torment them hell no#it also feels very strongly like some misogynistic bs#that ship is giving 'boys are mean to the girls they like' like supposedly these die hard bob's fans that ship them together want her to be#in an awful relationship where she 'fixes' him somehow and thats gross#i read a fanfic once about them in a bob's comment section (so against my own will and i wanted to throw up) this lady made this whole#ass elaborate story about louise meeting logan again 'in college'#like ew bitch louise would be like 19. he should be interested in dating women his own age group. & that aside like#he's a horrible bully to her. he stole her bunny ears and lied to her about it and she didnt even do anything wrong. those boys wouldnt let#kids cross that area to get home and louise was like nah fuck that im gonna say something. her interactions with logan are used as a device#to tell stories of her bravery. and gene's bravery that time he stood in for her when logan wanted to give her a reverse norwegian#stinkhold (she's a child. fuck logan for wanting to do that to a 9 year old girl just bc she pissed him off) and gene didnt deserve that#that said. her interactions w him are a device to express bravery and courage against an ANTAGONIST character. not some gross 'romance'#and hello??! are we ignoring the fact that louise was freaked that rudy liked her then was disappointed that he liked chloe?!#she literally kisses rudy & ppl are still being dumb as fuck out here shipping her w logan. hell no. find another set of characters to ship#ask yourselves why the fuck you like louise and logan together so much. you're projecting and what you're projecting is very distorted#im not sorry for my opinion. i feel its morally balanced and its very Immoral for people to ship those two characters
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