#it still shifts to all kinds of forms! and wants to be accepted no matter where it is! YES THATS GOOD DESIGN CHOICE SHES PERFECT

[bandgie]

Can you do yandere bang chan kidnapped y/n? Please :)

yandere!bangchan x fem!reader

a/n: ofcofc sorry for the wait I had to come up with *some* plot

synopsis: You didn't know he watched you for months, plotting and stalking. He just wants you to be his. Even if you might not love him in the beginning, he'll make sure you need him just as much as he needs you.

warning: MDNI 18+, /NONCON/DUBCON, kidnapping, drugging, PIV, fingering, no protection, rough face grabbing, restrains, nipple play, some asphyxiation, very slightly mentioned of piss, squirting, overstimulation, aftercare, some Stockholm syndrome towards the end

3.3k words

It could happen to anyone, at any time, at any place. It didn't matter that you had just gotten off working overtime, deciding to go late night shopping. There was no discrimination when it came to evil, to the wrong doings of people. You just happened to fall perfectly into Chris's hands for his taking.

You were lovely to him. He first noticed you a few months ago, sitting in a simple coffee shop alone. You were on your laptop, most likely working on a task that you waited to do last minute. When someone had accidentally spilled a drink on you, you just laughed it off. Not even a speck of anger on your face as you accepted their apologies and napkins. 

Cute, patient, kind. All the things Chris learned about you rather quickly when he watched your every move. A homeless man in front of you was short on cash to afford a coffee? You bought it for him. A child that lost their mother in the sea of people? You didn't hesitate to help them. An angel, his angel, Chris was convinced. 

It's why he waited by your car now, barely hidden by a lamp post. He had managed to get Fentanyl from his roommate. Chris's gloved hands gripped the opioid as he watched you exit the store with a few bags in hand. The gentleman part of him wanted to offer to help, take the load off you. It wouldn't be necessary though, there would be more than enough for you at your new home.

You had barely managed to rummage through your purse for your keys when a cloth clamped over your face. You blinked at first, unsure of what was exactly happening. The effects were immediate though, and your body went limp against the rigid body of another. Your vision was hazy, head was pounding, breathing was labored as this masked person picked you up bridal style. 

-

When you finally had the ability to open your eyes all the way, you were in an unknown room. The cold air hardened your nipples, and you quickly realized you were completely nude. There were no sheets on the bed, just two pillows and the mattress. When you tried to move your arms to cover yourself, you were met with resistance. You strained your head upwards to where you saw your arms knotted together against the bed frame. 

Your legs were in a similar position, though open instead. You would scream or yell if you could, but your throat was too dry to speak. All you could do was make garbled noises and weak attempts to form words. The drug your kidnapper used must've been illegal with how the effects were still lingering in your system.

Your head lolled around, eyes scanning the area. There was a dim light in the center of the room and a lamp next to the bedpost, though that one was off. It was hard to make out the room, but you quickly found two pairs of eyes watching in the corner. You squinted to make sure you were seeing what you thought you were seeing, and the figure finally shifted into sight. 

Your body jerked backwards, fear running through your blood when he stalked closer to you. He wasn't that tall, but he did have wide shoulders. There was no mask on him this time as he let his bare face meet yours. Full lips, orangish hair, round cheeks and a cute chubby nose. His eyes were filled with worry, concern, and... happiness?

Chris was happy, he was in disbelief that you were actually here after so many months. He had taken the honor of stripping you down, there was no need for clothes when you were down here. His steps are careful/ginger as he approaches the bed and sits down, eyes scanning your body. Truly, you were a gift sent to him from the heavens above.

"I didn't mean to scare you," his voice startles you, "I like watching you sleep." 

If you thought you were scared before, you know it's terror crashing through you now. With sudden strength, you thrash against the bonds. The man immediately stands back up, rushing to your face that he cradles in his hands almost tenderly. "No! No you're fine, you'll be fine. Hey, it's okay I'm here to explain things to you. You'll understand." There's such certainty in his voice that it sends fresh chills down your spine.

Your face is warm in his hands, wide eyes staring into his. Chris let his thumb gently stroke your cheek. In response, you try to flinch away, but his grip on you is firm. You're still too drowsy to really put up any sort of fight against him, and you're tied to his will. There's really no way you can get out of this one.

Without thinking, Chris leans in for a kiss. You weakly thrash your head around, but you can still feel his tongue trying to pry its way into your mouth. He just couldn't help himself really, not when you looked like a Michelin star meal in front of him. Chris prides himself in being a good lover, he's practiced many times with previous women for this very moment. 

One of his hands trails down your neck, to your chest where he grabs one of your breasts. You're still fighting against his mouth, trying to escape his touch. A pinch on your nipple makes you squeal, back slightly arching upwards. You can feel him smile slightly into the kiss, as if he's proud of himself for making you react in such a way. 

"Stop," it's only a whisper. A fleeting attempt for this man to take pity on you. He breaks the kiss and pouts, "You'll be okay baby. I promise." You think he's going to resume kissing you, but he instead focuses on your tits. Now with two hands on each one, he gropes them freely. His hands are rough, but his touch is gentle.

Each tug and pull on your nipples makes you whine. It's dully painful, but it still affects you. Perhaps it's the drugs making you so sensitive, and you pray it's also the reason why you can feel the space between your legs growing wet. 

His warm mouth takes in one of your buds, tongue flicking and swirling around it. You have to bite your lower lip to keep quiet, only letting out unsteady breaths. A harsh suck makes you shiver, body chasing his mouth after he pulls away. He moves onto the next one, making sure to give it the same attention. He tweaks and pulls on your wet nipple and the stimulation makes you try to close your legs. 

Chris can tell how much you're struggling to keep quiet, how wet your pussy must be getting. He's tempted to play with your folds, but he shouldn't yet. He wants you to be aching, needing him so desperately that you don't care about how he stole you in the night. So he decides to focus on your breasts until you're impatient. 

It's working, much more than he had anticipated. The drug leaves you hypersensitive, groggy, unable to move freely. You can feel everything tenfold, and you're struggling to keep your moans down. 

Your tits are red and swollen, your cunt most likely in the same position from neglect. You can't ignore the twitching from the insides of your walls anymore. "Please," it's full of desperation. "Please."

Chris lifts his head up from your chest, eyes locking on yours. He keeps both hands on your tits as he speaks, "Please? Please what?" 

Please stop. You should say it, you should scream it. Yet here you are, red in the face, unable to speak. The man patiently waits for your response. When you don't give one, he questions you further. "You want me to stop?"

You hate how tender his hands are against you, the gentle cupping of your breasts. You suddenly wonder if he would be the same if he fingered you. His eyes are full of lust, need, but also worry. Like if you really said to stop in this moment, he would. 

Deep down, you don't want him to stop. You don't want this unwanted pleasure to come to a halt. In the morning, you'll grow to hate yourself, maybe more than you hate him. Still there's no way you can confess your true desires to your capture. 

Rather than forcing you to answer, Chris ghosts one of his hands down your body. His fingers tickle your stomach and leave goosebumps that make your breath hitch. It's not until he's just above your clit that he stops. His fingers don't dare to graze your sex, instead moving to the area surrounding it. 

Your hips buck involuntarily, trying to get a finger to touch you where you need it most. Your movements give all the confirmation Chris needs to continue. "Aww," he can't help but coo at you sweetly. "All you have to do is ask baby. Don't be shy." He smiles lovingly at you before he lets his two fingers dip in your wet clit.

A dragged out moan escapes you at the feel of his warm fingers. He rubs on your bud, your lips, the entrance of your pussy. Sharp shocks of pleasure envelope your body. The soft squelching sounds of his touches bounce off the walls. You bite into the part of your own arm you can reach to muffle your sounds. 

Chris is quick to notice your self-infliction, and he quickly reaches with his free hand to grab you by the jaw roughly. 

"Don't do that," his voice is stern. "You'll hurt yourself. You can be loud here, I soundproofed the walls for you." 

His words are a harsh snap back to reality. The reality is that this man took you, drugged you, and is planning to fuck you in his house. You thought it was on a whim, but now you can't help but shake the feeling that this was all planned, just for you. The way he looks at you, speaks to you like he's your lover, it all starts connecting in your mind. 

You shake your head, trying to ignore how wonderfully his hands are working on you. "You're a sick bastard," your words are filled with venom. You notice his face slightly drop and fingers slow, "You just don't understand. I did this for you, for us, for our love." 

That makes you scoff, words slightly slurring from the effects of the drugs, "Love? This isn't love." 

Chris shakes his head at you, getting slightly irritated with how you're not willing to realize his adoration for you. "This is love. You just don't see it yet. You just have to love me back and it'll all make sense." Chris thinks that's enough for you to go back to being quiet and pliant. Instead, you spit out the one thing he's prayed you would never say to him.

"Love you back? I could never love you. I hate you."

The expression on his face is beyond heartbreak, he looks devastated. You swear you could see his soul shatter with your words. His bottom lips trembles, eyes tear up, and his voice thickens with emotion. "Hate me?" He says it like he can't believe it. "No, no you don't. You're lying." 

He can't let you respond, Chris can't stand another terrible sentence you'll utter. He plunges his fingers into your cunt, effectively shutting up your vicious words with a moan. It's gonna take time, he tries to convince himself. She'll learn to love you.

You've gotten used to his slow and sweet fingers, but now he's pounding into you like he's trying to knock the air out of you. Where there was little resistance when he put them inside, now your walls were more than inviting him in. His fingers drag through your cunt, fitting snugly . You can feel the palm of his hand smacking against the lower part of your clit. 

You twist and thrust your hips to accommodate his pace, but he's relentless. There's no steady rhythm, no patience. Just erratic pounding at any speed his desires. He only slows down when his hand tires, but just when you begin getting used to that he starts up again. Your slick is all over your ass, his wrists. You can't bear to look at the mess he's created.

It's not until he suddenly rips his fingers away that you peek your eyes open. The man moves to settle between your legs, hastily pulling his joggers down. His eyebrows are furrowed, nostrils flaring, lips in a tight line. He's still upset about what you said, and you start feeling slightly guilty. No, you shouldn't. He's the one that did this. He's the one that kidnapped you and thought you would fall in love with him like a delusional maniac. Still, you can't help but think that if he just talked to you like a normal person, you would've gone out with him.

Even with an angry look on his face, he's handsome. It's a fact you've been trying to ignore since you saw him. Everything about him is pretty, even the heavy cock that springs out. You shiver at the sight, licking your lips unconsciously at the red tip. His has 2 protruding veins, a girth that convinces you that your hand can barely wrap around it, and a trimmed bush above it. 

Chris is too troubled to notice your gawking. He uses one hand to grip the base of his cock and the other to your hip. "You'll love me," he mutters. "You'll love me and my fucking cock." Chris pushes forward, uncaring of how you try to move away from him. He gets about halfway when he's met with your tightness. He can hear you moaning, your attempts to quiet yourself. He would've thought it was cute, but now he just thinks about how you're doing this because of your hate for him.

He pulls out a few centimeters before pushing back in, forcing his way inside. You whine, "Wait! It's too big. Please just wait-" He moves his hand from his cock to cover your mouth. You can slightly taste him on your lips, and you have no choice but to lock eyes with him. "No. You're gonna take it," his tone leaves no room for argument. 

So there you lie, legs spread against his thighs as you mewl against his palm when he sinks inside of you. A throaty groan finds its way out of Chris's mouth when he's completely inside of you. He stays there for a moment to soak up the feeling. His grip on your mouth hasn't let up, and it's getting hard to breathe.

Chris gives you shallow thrusts before you're ready, and you're forced to adjust to his size. Your walls are squeezing him so tight, almost possessively. It's like your pussy can't stand the thought of being separated from him. You blame the fact that he teased you, that you're doped up. 

Your breasts bounce with his strokes. His hips move more aggressively now, and there's no way you can stop yourself from being loud. He's so deep inside you, giving you surreal amounts of pleasure that makes you want to crawl out of your skin. It's overwhelming, teetering on the threshold of unbearable. 

When Chris pulls his hand away from your mouth, there's a string of saliva that connects and breaks. He watches as your chest expands from deep breaths and deep moans. It's impossible for him to stay mad at you, not when you're so pretty under him. He should be nicer, this is you two’s first time. Still, he thinks he should give you some punishment for your behavior. 

Chris doubts he can really consider this a punishment though,with how your eyes are rolling to the back of your head, lips twisted in pleasure. He doesn't think you notice, but you've started to drool. Chris is tempted to lick the saliva up and back in your mouth, but he doesn't. He has a very romantic idea of how your first kiss should go, and now is hardly the time.

Now that his hand is free, he uses it to stimulate your clit. You cry out, begging for him to stop, that you might wet the bed. He gives you a fake frown, "You don't have to be embarrassed about that." He rubs you a little harder. "What did I say about being shy?"

You tighten around his cock at your impending release. There's nothing for you to grab onto besides the binds. Your wrists are red and raw from struggling, but you can't focus on that right now. Not when his fingers play with your clit while his harsh thrusts hit you in all your sweet spots. 

Your body tenses, legs shake when you finish. You can feel the hot release leave you like rain. Chris soothingly rubs your hips as his thighs are coated in your essence. He slows down for a moment, letting you ride out your orgasm. You pussy twitches from the aftershocks. Your sweet moans fill Chris's ears.

He resumes his pounding not long after your body stops convulsing. You squeal when he rubs your lower lips roughly, overstimulating you. He's doing it too fast, too soon. As unbelievably good it feels, you keep begging for him to stop. Even if just for a moment. 

"Tell me you're sorry. That you didn't mean it," Chris groans through his words. At this point, you're willing to do anything to get this immense pleasure to stop coursing through your veins. "I'm sorry!" You sob. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it I sweaarrr!" Tears slip down your face. Your pussy is puffy and red, and you think after this you'll never want to be touched again. 

Chris moans at your words, "Tell me you love me." 

He knows he won't last long whether you say it or not. You're so wet and easy to fuck into that there's no way he can prolong his orgasm. There's a moment of silence, and he thinks you won't say it. 

"I love you!" You wail. "I love you so much. I'm sorry I was-oh fuck!-I'm sorry I was mean. I didn-I didn't mean it, I really really love you!"

It’s all Chris needs to hear to tip him over the edge. It takes forever to cum inside you. . Chris wouldn't stop himself from pulling out, not when you confessed so willingly. His moans and stuttering hips slow to a stop. His hand on your clit relents, and he feels your walls relax a little. Chris can hear you sobbing, small 'thank yous' that make his heart flutter. 

It doesn't matter how sticky you are, how badly your cunt is abused. What matters is that he stops, slowly sliding out of you. You whine when his fat head slips out of your pussy, leaving you with relief but a slight emptiness. 

Chris watches as his cum drips out your hole, how it stains the mattress. He'll need to buy a new one, but that's no issue for him. He'd buy the entire Earth if it meant you'd be his. 

"How are you feeling baby?" He asks. He's sitting on his knees, eyes trained on you. You think you should give back a snarky response, but you don't find the energy to do so. "It hurts," your eyes are still filled with tears. He lets out a soft 'awww' and leans down to nuzzle against your tummy. 

You hate how you find comfort in his touch, how lovingly he acts towards you. You feel him start peppering kisses on your stomach, and you don't bother fighting against it. You kidnapper seemingly loves to give aftercare with how he pampers you. A twisted part of you thinks you could actually get used to this. 

After all, you still need to learn his name.

a/n: hoped you guys liked it! ngl this was kinda hard but I really tried lmao. feedback is appreciated!

proof reader: @then-make-me (thank you so much again!)

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS : THE ASPECTS

I've lost count on how many I've done so far, so that mean we onna role lmaooo.

So lets get into it ;)

Sun Square Venus - Could have issues dealing with their self expression. But this is momentarily. At times, they have to work hard into seeing themselves in a better light than there peers. Its easier to see yourself in the wrong light than the one you truly want to see of yourself. All in all, there is a gift in this placement. They usually have to agree that their auras are not a match for certain environments and people, and this in turn keeps them out of the wrong places and shifts them into the space that is both healing and nurturing to their energy.

Moon Trine Pluto - Interesting auras. Have a capability of working and helping the community. Can receive insight on what not to do at the right time. Literally God sent. Could be in the middle of nowhere, but it brings them somewhere. Like their energy could pull them into spaces that they're not usually equipped in but for some reason people look towards them for guidance. They're a door opener to the right dimension. Timeless entity. Blessings of abundance comes to them through the art of silence. Communication is a skilled art as they deal with the emotional sector in their own life, which makes them good counselors or therapists.

Mercury Conjunct Jupiter - Can captivate an audience with their words. Really good at making something out of nothing, as far as ideas go. They are usually interested in finding new ways into expanding their minds and they will do this till the end of time.

Honestly their ideas and ways of communication are so intriguing, they could be talking about nothing and still make it interesting to listen to. Could be someone excited to share their thoughts with the world, and honestly they should. They could be great teachers if they give it a try.

Saturn Trine Neptune - Illusive Idealism. Remarkable energy. Materialism and Imagination meet in one world. These individuals have a knack for control over their horizons, but it usually works in their favor. Could be interested in knowledge of the occult, but the kind that shapes their world view and perception. These people are good with communication and leadership. On a scale to 1-10, they are usually a 9 when it comes to leading the masses to an idea that can influence and empower others subconscious. Expansion is the goal when it comes to their reality.

Uranus Conjunct Sun - These individuals are interesting to look at. They have a strong appetite for things that are different. They are usually ahead of their time, and usually need more time alone that most people realize. Their unique with the way they express themselves, because they normally feel like the world around them is too boring. So they tend to challenge the status quo a bit.

Neptune Conjunct/Trine/Square/Sextile Sun - They are deep in control of their reality when they learn to accept the power of vibration.

Let me explain: These individuals are incredibly passionate with energy, mind control, subconscious matters, the imagination, and the spiritual realm. All these things I've mention deal with vibration in some way shape or form.

They are naturally sensitive to things that aren't welcoming to their spirit, and they normally are able to detect this through the power of vibration anyways. They have a gift in seeing things, and knowing them before they happen. They are reclusive to the world because some of the things that are popular and catch are attention is something that can make are energy go a lil awry cause the vibration is too much. And they usually can feel it deep.

[storiesiwrite]

Home ☾ Lee Seokmin

Genre: hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationship

Word count: 5026

Summary: In which you’re having one of those days when it’s a struggle to be kind to yourself, and Seokmin makes sure you feel appreciated and loved.

☁︎ ☁︎ ☁︎ ☁︎ ☁︎

Seokmin has a gnawing feeling in his gut that tells him you’re not feeling your best today.

It’s evident in the text messages you leave him throughout the day, in your unusual choice of words. Just a small difference, but a difference all the same, and he knows you too well to miss the signs.

Perhaps it also has something to do with your tendency to hide behind a smile even as you’re buried deep in your struggles. You don’t like the idea of people around you noticing. Seokmin would know; as terrible a habit as it is, it’s one that he and you both share.

Suffice it to say, it isn’t long before he begins losing his concentration at work. Completing the simplest of tasks eventually becomes a challenge, but he can hardly expect anything else when you’re constantly on his mind.

The moment his seven-hour shift is over, he wastes no time packing up his things and clocking out of work. The original—and usual—plan has been to head straight home, but those texts of yours made him change his mind. He decides to make a detour instead, making sure to snag a couple of your favorite desserts along the way.

It begins to drizzle shortly afterwards, the skies painted in shades of midnight blue that signal an impending downpour. Not the most ideal situation, but he doesn’t mind the rain beating down on him as he runs down the streets. Doesn’t see the negative because all that matters to him is that he is coming home to you.

Please, he says in a hopeful whisper, please hang on until I get there.

And by the time he reaches the door to your shared apartment, his clothes have been completely soaked through, and he fights to catch his breath. His keys are somewhere in the depths of his sling bag, but retrieving them with both hands occupied would be a hassle, which is why he resorts to pressing the bell with one side of his knuckle. It doesn’t take long before he hears shuffling on the other side and the door cracks open.

The sight that greets him breaks his heart into slivers.

You’re standing there beyond the threshold, your eyes puffy, the dark circles beneath them more pronounced than ever. Faint blotches of red have spread across your cheeks and nose, as if you’ve spent an ample amount of time rubbing them raw. You’re faring worse than he imagined, yet despite everything, you still manage to smile.

Though said smile falls the moment you take in his drenched state.

“Oh, Seok,” you say, concern etched on your features as you quickly pull him inside and shut the door.

He settles down the desserts on the small side table (thank the heavens they were wrapped in plastic, otherwise they would not have survived the terrible weather). Peeling off his wet jacket, he places it atop a drying rack nearby and watches as you dash towards the bathroom with a frown on your face.

“Did you forget to bring an umbrella?” You call out to him, reappearing mere seconds later with a clean towel in one hand. He can’t help but smile at the gesture, so endearing it warms him despite the cold seeping through his skin.

“Well, um, I was in a hurry this morning, and it completely slipped my mind,” he explains as you take his hand, leading him towards the kitchen. When you tell him to sit on one of the shorter stools there, he simply obliges. Standing there in front of him, your face level with his own, you begin drying his face and neck with the towel.

It’s not that he actually needs your help—he can pat himself dry perfectly well—but he accepts it anyway, sees it as an opportunity to truly look at you.

This should feel comforting. This nearness with you, this form of intimacy he would never want to share with anyone else. And in other cases, he’s certain it would. But never in the two years of your relationship has he had this much trouble gazing at you. Especially like this, up close with your bloodshot eyes and swollen cheeks. It hurts him to acknowledge that he wasn’t there for you when you needed him the most.

And still, he doesn’t look away. He knows he has to say something, has to begin the conversation somehow.

“I’m sorry, love,” he tries. “I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

With a shake your head, you say, “I know, and you don’t need to apologize for that. But please, promise me you’ll remember to take your umbrella with you next time?” You move on to his wet hair, gently dabbing it dry. “I just don’t want you to get sick, is all.”

He gives you a small smile. You’ve always been so caring of others; it’s one of the many things he adores about you. “I will. Promise.”

“Good.” There it is, a small upward tug of your lips. It’s a start.

“I actually swung by the bakery earlier,” he says, nodding to the table near the door where the desserts lie waiting. “Bought some of those glazed donuts you love.”

You follow his gaze. “Did you?”

“Yeah, and I also brought home some boba.”

Your mouth opens slightly in delighted surprise, your eyes crinkling. “You have to stop spoiling me, Seok! I don’t think I can keep up.”

“Not planning on that any time soon. You’re just going to have to put up with it.”

A soft laugh escapes you. “I guess so.” You push the towel aside when you’re done, running your fingers through his unkempt hair in an attempt to tidy it. “There. Better?”

He leans towards you to kiss you on the lips. “Better. Thank you, love.”

“Don’t mention it.” You cup his face in your hands, and he leans against your touch.

He steals yet another brief kiss from you. “You okay? I haven’t asked you how your day was.”

He feels you tense slightly, though your expression remains neutral. “It was good. Spent the whole day at home today, got to relax a lot. You know how much I like staying in.” You chuckle with a strain that hasn’t escaped his notice. “How was yours?”

“Well, work was more hectic than usual, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. I’m just glad to be back home.”

“So am I, Seok. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, love,” he murmurs. I’m with you now, he wants to add. You can talk to me.

But you say nothing, closing your eyes and leaning your forehead against his. Seokmin’s thoughts begin to wander as he weighs his options: should he be straightforward and ask you outright, or should he wait until you’re ready to talk? He imagines the latter would be the better solution, but he knows you well enough to know that you always try to bottle your feelings up.

He recalls the first time you broke down in tears in front of him; it was early on in the relationship, and you were in your fourth semester in university. You’d been given an assignment, one you were struggling to finish under the pressure of its nearing deadline. Naturally, it made you compare yourself to others who you thought were miles ahead of you.

He remembers having a hard time stringing together the words to console you, because seeing you in such pain wounded him in ways he could never describe.

“You can tell me,” he could only manage back then, his arms wrapped around you as if that alone could shield you from all the pain in the world. He’d take it in your stead if he could. “Whatever it is that’s upsetting you, you can tell me. I promise I won’t laugh. I promise I won’t tell anyone, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, that’s not it, not at all,” you’d replied in between sniffles. “It’s just me overthinking again. I know it’s stupid.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t dismiss how you feel.” He kept repeating these words. But it seemed like nothing he was saying truly left its mark on you.

“You-you’ve also had enough on your plate already, and I wouldn’t want to add to that—”

“It doesn’t matter, love. Even if I do have enough on my plate, I still wouldn’t mind. I’d still want you to come to me.”

Your body shook as you tried and failed to contain your sobs. “I’m so, so sorry, Seok, I didn’t mean to cry but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I’m so sorry you have to see me like this. I... I didn’t mean to ruin the night. I didn’t to be an inconvenience to you.”

Oh, he thought, his heart breaking in two. He never even once saw you that way. He never, not even for a split second, thought you were an inconvenience.

He couldn’t understand why you felt guilty for feelings you had no way of controlling. He couldn’t understand why you felt ashamed of being human. He could only hug you tighter, could only watch like a fool as you fell apart in his arms.

And then he felt it, simmering beneath the surface—anger.

Anger at whomever it was that had the gall to make you believe you were ever an inconvenience. Anger at himself for having failed you so terribly. He’s your boyfriend, for god’s sake. You were supposed to be able to trust with him. And clearly he’d done an awful job at making you realize that he doesn’t mind you crying in front of him.

He doesn’t mind sharing the emotional burden you’ve always insisted upon carrying all by yourself. None of it matters to him if it means that you’ll feel less alone.

And this time, he won’t repeat the same mistakes again.

He pulls away to look at you, and your eyes snap open at the movement, your hands dropping away from his face.

“You sure everything’s alright?” He asks you again. “You don’t sound well at all.”

“Mhm. My nose has been stuffy since this afternoon, I think. But it’s nothing I can’t handle, nothing a few cups of tea won’t fix.” You take a few steps back from him, decidedly avoiding his gaze. “Why don’t you go get yourself cleaned up and then we eat?”

The warmth in your tone from earlier has chipped away, replaced by a stiffness he’s grown all too familiar with. The kind that always tinges your voice whenever you’re dodging the truth. The kind that tells him you’re building your walls back up.

Alright, then, he thinks to himself. Waiting it is.

“I’m gonna get a bath running for you, okay?” You say with a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. “Wouldn’t want you to freeze.”

He stands up from the chair so quickly he nearly stumbles. “No, no, that’s alright.” He moves closer to you. “You don’t have to. I’ve got it.”

“No, no. I can do it for you.” You’re still not looking at him in the eye. “You must be tired from all that work.”

His jaw clenches a little. Even as you’re struggling, you try to put everyone else before you. You refuse to let him take care of you.

And finally, after a long silence from his end, he makes himself nod.

“Okay, then. I won’t take long.”

☁︎ ☁︎ ☁︎ ☁︎ ☁︎

God, you think to yourself, rubbing your eyes with the heels of your hands. What a long, shitty day it has been.

You never knew staying at home the whole day could leave you so emotionally drained. It began the moment you realized you’d nearly missed an important online meeting because you’d thought it was scheduled for tomorrow. In your rush to get yourself prepared for said meeting, you managed to spill coffee all over your work papers, the smudged ink rendering the words illegible.

After the meeting, it took you seemingly-endless hours trying to salvage whatever remains of these papers. Because these papers are the same ones you’ve spent months carefully drafting, writing, and revising after every feedback from your boss. The same ones you’ve spent countless of sleepless nights poring over to see if there is anything you’ve missed, to make sure all the details are in line with the facts.

And for someone who thrives with the help of daily to-do lists, this whole thing stresses you out. Your schedule for the week is already very packed as it is, and the idea of not doing a few tasks that you really wanted to get done today, all because of this stupid, stupid mistake of yours that you could have easily avoided...

You feel like screaming. And you certainly feel like an idiot. What makes you think you could pull off juggling a university major with part-time work?

By now Seokmin must have already figured things out, despite your earlier efforts to pass it off as nothing more than symptoms of a cold. But there’s no doubt that he knows. He’s too observant to have missed anything.

And the fact that you’ve spent the last thirty minutes or so sequestering yourself in the bathroom isn’t helping your case. Try as you might, you don’t have it in you to face him like this, not when it’s so obvious that you’re frustrated. More frustrated than you probably have the right to feel.

Then there’s a soft knock on the door. It clicks open and Seokmin’s face slides into view. “Hey, love. May I come in?”

You nod, looking at his reflection in the mirror. “Yeah, of course.” You pretend to pat your hands dry. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he says, shutting the door behind him. He moves closer until he stands right behind you, his hands finding your waist, his chin resting on the crook of your neck. “Just that you’re taking so long in here and I’m starting to miss you.”

A laugh weaves its way out of you—the first genuine one of the day. You’re not surprised; if there’s anyone you know who can lift your sunken spirits in a matter of seconds, it has to be him.

“I miss you too, Seok.” You turn around to properly look at him, putting your arms around his body, his warmth enveloping you as he reciprocates the gesture. “You know, I was actually thinking...”

“Yeah?”

“What about a movie after this? I wanna get all cozy with you and watch something while we eat the snacks you bought earlier.”

His smile is soft as he regards you. “Sounds like a plan. Got anything specific in mind?”

“Not really, no. But I think I want something light-hearted. Like a rom-com? Would that be okay with you?”

“I’m okay with anything you want.” He plants a kiss on your cheek. “Just pick a movie, and I’ll get it up and running in no time.”

“Okay.”

As a comfortable sort of silence takes over, you allow yourself to think you got away with it, to hope that Seokmin would sweep it under the rug this time. But then his smile falls, a graver expression now taking its place, and that hope gutters out as easily as an unsteady flame. You stiffen, already knowing where this is going even before he speaks.

“But first, I need you to tell me what’s wrong.”

Of course. You knew he would catch on, but that knowledge doesn’t make this confrontation any easier.

You try to keep your voice from wavering, forcing down the lump on your throat. “What do you mean? There’s nothing wrong.”

“You know perfectly well what I’m talking about.” His fingers brush the darkened skin under your eyes, run down the side of your blotched cheek, as if to say, I can see right through you. The gesture feels so intimate that you have to look away, only to regret it immediately. It gives you away, leaves you with no choice except to start confessing.

“You knew?” The words escape you in an embarrassed whisper. What a stupid question to ask. Of course he knew. He probably found out the moment he stepped into the apartment, the lingering signs of your frustration clear as day.

“Yeah. When you sent me those texts earlier this morning, I knew something was wrong.”

Oh. And here you thought you were being subtle enough.

Seokmin hesitates for a moment, as if sorting out his thoughts. “I was... I was going to wait until you’re ready to talk,” he says by way of explanation, his brow lined with worry. “But I can’t stand not doing anything when you’ve locked yourself in here for the past half hour. I can’t stand the idea of sitting still when you’re just one door away and it’s clear that you’re not alright.”

You squeeze your eyes shut like you’d just seen a sight that stung.

“You can tell me,” he continues. “You don’t have to keep it from me.”

“I know that, Seok. I just...” you trail off, finding that it keeps getting harder and harder to hold back the emotions threatening to drown you. It takes you some time to muster the courage to look him in the eye again. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It’s a big deal to me if it upsets you like this. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

But that’s the thing, isn’t it? What is there to even talk about? Nothing really happened; you spent the whole day just contending with that cruel voice in your head that always tells you you’re not enough. That you’ll never be enough, especially because you manage to mess up even the simplest, most trivial of things. Especially because you let said things ruin your whole day.

It’s embarrassing.

At your silence, Seokmin shifts closer to you. “Talk to me, love. I’m here for you. I won’t judge you, I promise.” His voice is so gentle that for a moment, you’re tempted to just give in and tell him everything.

This isn’t about the lack of trust; it has never been, and even Seokmin himself knows that. And neither is this about worrying what his response would be. If there is anything your past experiences with him can tell you, it’s that he deals with your breakdowns in a loving, gentle way. Every single time.

He’s aware of your mind’s tendency to shove one worst-case scenario upon another until you’ve run out of space and energy to think about anything rational. Admittedly, it’s not the healthiest habit, and you’ve been trying to unlearn it, but sometimes there are days when you simply can’t cope and begin to spiral.

Despite everything, Seokmin always understands. You know he would understand now, but it’s precisely the reason why this is the last thing you would want to talk about. He’s the kind of person who feels deeply, who doesn��t need to try too hard to put himself in other people’s shoes. That act of sympathizing can be so draining, and you’re not willing to subject him to that. His work is exhausting as it is without you having to pile your struggles atop of his own.

All you can offer him now is a tight-lipped smile. “I wasn’t lying when I said it’s not a big deal.”

He shakes his head. “It’s clear to me that it is. And even if it’s not, I’ll still want to hear it all the same.”

The small, knowing tug of his lips tells you he can see what’s running through your mind. You find yourself having to bite back a dry laugh. Ridiculous, really, how you bother trying to hide things from him when he knows you as well as the back of his own hand.

“Even if it’s something I’ve told you many, many times before?” You ask, still giving him the option to move past this.

“Even so. Whatever it is, we’ll get through it together. We’ll figure it out, the way we always do.”

His kindness leaves a gaping hole in your aching heart. This, you think to yourself, this isn’t something you deserve. You’ve simply been fortunate enough to have crossed paths with him that one fateful night in a certain cafe, that night that changed the trajectory of everything else that came along afterwards.

A tear slips down your cheek. Then another. Disappointed in yourself, you forcefully rub your eyes, only to have him reach out to stop what you’re doing.

He winces a little, as though he were the one on the receiving end of your roughness. “Careful, you’ll hurt yourself like that.” His thumb brushes against your cheek. “Here, let me do it for you.”

And it is at this moment that you finally break, the walls you’ve built to keep your emotions at bay crumbling under his touch as he slowly wipes away your tears. He treats you with the utmost care as you cry on his shoulder, listens to you as you try to recount to him all that has happened today. His attention stays undivided the whole time, even as you stutter or can’t seem to find the words to express how you feel.

“I know it’s the same problem every time,” you sob. You hate the way your voice breaks all over. “I know it may seem like... like I’m not changing at all, but I truly am trying my best, Seok.”

His free hand draws soothing lines down your back. “I know that, love. I have never once doubted you. And I can understand how hard it is to overcome this. But you can. You’ve gotten so much better than you give yourself credit for.”

That reminder that you don’t deserve him flits through your mind yet again, scolding you for not feeling ashamed. But the look on his face shows not even the slightest hint of ridicule or disappointment. Seokmin simply holds you in his arms and whispers in your ear over and over that everything will be alright. You want so badly to believe him.

Sniffing, you pull slightly away to meet his gaze. You don’t care for the redness in your eyes or the tear stains on your cheeks. It’s important that he hears this from you and sees the sincerity behind it. “You’re being so good to me, Seok. Too good to me. You always... you’re always doing so much more than I ever deserve—”

“Don’t say that—”

“And I can only hope that you’re alright with being stuck with me. I know I can be a lot to handle, and I can’t imagine I’m easy to love.”

At that, he stops talking, stares at you as though he has a hard time believing what he’s heard. As though waiting for you to take back your words.

And when you don’t, he asks, his voice low and serious, “Why do you think that way?”

Because you can’t think otherwise. Would he not grow tired of your problems? Would he not grow tired of you? Who wouldn’t when it’s the same shit over and over again?

He takes your silence as a sign to go on. “Do you really think that that’s how I feel about you? That you’re difficult to love because you go through problems sometimes? Because you have feelings like real people do, like I do?”

Pain flashes across his features, along with something else. It takes you a while to recognize it as anger, though you know that anger isn’t directed at you; rather, it’s on your behalf. “I’m so, so sorry that you were made to feel like you have no right to be sad or upset when things are difficult. But I’m here to remind you that whatever it is you feel, it’s valid.”

You say nothing in return, feeling the weight of his words as they sink in.

“I’ve seen the way you treat others,” he continues. “I’ve seen how deeply you appreciate and care for them. You don’t think twice when it comes to helping people, even the ones you barely know. But I’ve never seen even just a shred of that same kindness when it comes to yourself. You constantly beat yourself up for simply being human, and you have no idea how much that breaks my heart.

“And it makes me wish you’d see yourself the way I see you, because maybe then you’d come to learn all the wonderful qualities you have that you always seem to look past.” He lifts your hand to his lips, leaving a trail of kisses along your knuckles. “You’re a student working a part-time job; don’t you realize how impressive that is? Not to mention the fact that you’re getting better and better at not overthinking when it used to be tough for you. All this progress has never escaped my notice or anyone else’s, just your own.”

You’ve calmed down by now, your crying reduced to small sniffles. It’s still hard to keep your eyes open, and it’s even harder to come up with a response. But you’re content with simply hearing what he has to say, and your heart is full of tenderness and warmth. He’s never once failed to make you feel so loved.

“And as for what you said earlier about me being stuck with you”—he pecks your lips softly—“I hope you know that I’m not going anywhere. I’m never going to love you any less because of your struggles.”

His declaration hits a little too close to home, rubbing at a lifelong wound that has yet to heal. After all, the reason why you hadn’t wanted to get into a relationship before Seokmin came into the picture was fear. Fear that once your partner discovers just how ugly and messy things can get for you, how much emotional baggage you carry, they will leave.

A part of you has always known that confiding in Seokmin would make it hurt less. But a greater, selfish part of you is afraid that he’d grow tired of putting up with you and your constant problems. Maybe you’d never dare to admit it out loud, but the truth is that you would rather struggle alone in silence than lose him altogether due to your honesty.

But Seokmin sees through all that. And instead of leaving, he stands by your side and holds your hand through it. He holds your broken pieces as you try to stitch them back together.

And all the things he’s said about you... you know he truly means every one of them. He’s genuine in everything he says and does. But you can’t wrap your head around the idea of someone great like him can see you that way. It’s a surreal thought, one you never dared to entertain before now.

But maybe he’s right. Maybe you’ve been too hard on yourself. You’re certain that if it were anyone else going through the same, exact motions as you are now, you wouldn’t tell them the hurtful things you hurl at yourself at any given chance. And you’ve always known that progress is never linear, and falling down once or even a dozen times doesn’t eliminate all the previous steps you’ve taken. It doesn’t diminish all that you’ve accomplished, all that you’ve done to be better.

Whatever it was that Seokmin saw in you that one night from two years ago, when he asked you to be his, it doesn’t matter. For the millionth time, you’re so glad you took the leap and trusted that he would catch you.

All these new thoughts running through your head, all these feelings of fondness and love for him coursing through you, yet you can only manage to ask him this: “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Know all the right things to say every time.”

He lets out a small laugh, relieved that you’re no longer as upset as you’ve been before. “Because I’m only saying the truth. Loving you is a commitment, a decision I make every single day. And that decision comes easily, willingly, because you’re so, so easy to love.”

You feel like crying all over again, but for the right reasons this time. God, you really are the luckiest person in the world. “So are you, Seok. I hope you know that, too,” you say as you pull him into a hug.

“Feeling any better?” You may not be able to see him, but you just know that he’s grinning.

“Yeah.” You nestle up against him. You don’t ever want to let go. “Thank you for always hearing me out. For not only accepting me as I am, but also encouraging me to be the best version I can be.”

“I can say the same thing to you, too.” He kisses your brow. “Thank you, love. For all the times you’ve held my hand and kept me grounded and going when it’s so easy to give up. You’ve been there for me in ways I can never explain, and I’m so, so grateful.”

It truly is the least you can do for him. You snuggle your head into his shoulder with a contented sigh. “Thank you for always giving the best hugs.”

He laughs heartily at that. “You can have all the hugs you want, I promise. But I need you to promise me one thing in return. Promise you’ll never hesitate to let me know whenever you’re not feeling okay. I’m here for you, and I don’t want you to go through things alone. I want you to let me take care of you.”

You glance up, your eyes meeting his. “I promise, as long as you do the same and let me take care of you, too.” And when he nods, you add, “I love you.”

He’s beaming so widely that you can’t help but do the same. “I love you, too.”

It’s been true all along: home is not a place but a person, after all.

— ☽ —

author’s note: not so proud of how this fanfic turned out, but i’m still glad i got it done because it truly helped me get through a tough time. i hope that you find comfort reading it as i did writing it. lots of love and take care ♡

[fallingdownhell]

Hewwoooo. Can I ask for some fluff-comfort hcs for Alhaitham and Kaveh ? Reader feels kinda depressed and just wants hugs, kisses and warmth ;;;w;;;

God, I relate to that so fucking much! Thank you for requesting that. I may have cried while writing this, but only because it felt really good. Like, even while writing it, I felt some form of comfort. So thank you for that request. I didn't even know I needed something like that myself<3

Content: mentioning of depression; hurt/comfort; reader is hurting and the boys comfort you; gender neutral reader; all of the comfort!

Word count: 1,1k

Hope you all enjoy reading and remember, you are all loved and people care for you. Life is always worth living, even if it is just to spite certain people who want to tell you otherwise. Never give up on yourself<3

Alhaitham

He's not the best when it comes to matters of the heart, so I also don't think that he would be good at comforting someone

at least that would be what Alhaitham thinks of himself

he never really cared about how others feel, never cared if his blunt and honest words hurt their feelings. He never had a problem with that

so why is it that now, when he sees you sitting there, crying to yourself, that his heart breaks and his head screams at him to run to your side and be there for you

so he does just that

he walks over to where you are sitting on the ground, knees pulled up to your chest, your arms resting on your knees and your head laying on your arms, and he just silently sits down next to you

you notice the shift, that someone is there besides you, but you don't find the strenght in you to lift your head to confirm who it was, though you did have a sneaking suspicion by the lack of words being uttered

what comes next though is a surprise even to you

silently, Alhaitam wraps one arm around you, putting his head on your shoulder and carefully pulls you towards him

this way, you lean against his side, and he just holds you there

confused by his actions, you slightly lift your head, your eyes red from all the crying

he just looks back at you. he doesn't say anything, but his gaze is full of concern over you, yet he doesn't force you to speak about it. Instead he is just offering you his silent company, so you don't feel so alone

You gladly accept the silent offer, resting your head on his shoulder while you slowly begin to calm down again

his arm remains around you, his hand still resting on your shoulder, while he observes your surroundings, making sure that no one else will see you in this state

once you calmed down enough, he would ask you if you want to talk about what made you feel this way

the answer to that is totally up to you.

If you want to talk to him, then he would take you to a more secluded place, probably back to his home, where you two can then talk in peace, without any prying eyes or ears. Even then, he would still over you his comfort, even if he is still unsure about what to do exactly.

If you don't want to talk about it, then that it also fine to him. You are not obligated to tell him, after all. But you better expect that he will keep an eye on you from now on, so that he can react if you ever should feel like that again

All in all, I think Alhaitham would act purely on instinct for once in his life, should he ever come across such a situation. And I do think that he is quite good at offering this type of silent comfort for someone and just making you feel like someone cares for you and will always be there by your side

Kaveh

Kaveh is a lot more expressive when it comes to these kinds of things

he himself has his heart on his tongue and openly shows how he feels in every situation, so I think he would be quite good at handling the emotions of the people around him

so when he notices that you, a person he holds very dear to his heart, is crying, he would first enter a panic mode, before he calms down again

he would slowly walk up to you, as to not startle you, and then slowly wraps his arms around you, whispering soft things into your ear in hopes of calming you down

when he notices that that is not enough, he would swiftly lift you up and take you somewhere quiet, but I think he would just walk to his home, since that is the easiest solution in his mind right now

while walking, he would shield you as best he can from any weird looks people might give you two

once you arrived at his destination, Kaveh seems to be entirely in his element

he puts you down, either on the couch or his bed, whichever he sees first

then, he wraps you up in a warm blanket, before he leaves your side only for a moment, to make the both of you a cup of hot chocolate in the kitchen

once he returns, he also has a box of tissues with him, and you start to cry even more at the sight

he sits the cups down, hands you the box, and just sits there with you

he leaves the choice up to you if you want any form of physical comfort as well

if you do, he is more than happy to lift you into his arms, hold you tight towards him, whispering sweet, reassuring things to you. I think he would also run a soothing hand along your back, just trying to make you feel cared for and safe

if you don't however, he is not faced. People prefer different kinds of comfort, so he can accept it if that's not something you want. He would default to just being a silent companion, periodically telling you that you were fine, had nothing to worry about and that he would be there for you

Once you have calmed down enough, he would also ask if you would want to talk about it, also accepting any answer you might give him

he would never push you to open yourself up to him, but he wants to make sure that you are aware you can trust him with anything and he will always be there to support you through anything

he would then insist that you stay the night, not wanting to leave you alone and to your thoughts again. He wants to make sure that you're okay, and he can only do that if you are near him

so, you better expect him to not leave your side, unless he absolutely has to. But even then, he makes it a point to return as fast as he possibly can

overall does his best to make you feel loved and cared for, and I do think that he does a very good job at that

[kentoberry]

IN MY DREAMS. — toji fushiguro.

ʚ ABOUT ɞ it's early in the morning and toji finds himself facing a rather hard situation.

ʚ NOTES ɞ a drabble based on a dream i had lol ( soft toji supremacy ! )

ʚ WARNINGS ɞ sub afab reader, pet names ("baby", "darling", "love"), somnophilia, fingering, oral (f).

minors do not interact.

you looked so peaceful as you slept. toji couldn't help but admire the true beauty of your relaxed expression and feel guilty for wanting to disrupt it.

sure, you'd never complained even once before when he woke you from your slumber to lend a helping hand to the tent in his pants. you'd even told him that if he wanted, he can make use of your body whilst you slept — so surely you wouldn't mind.

toji kicked the covers off, the bulge in his pants only growing as he caught a glimpse of how you were only wearing his shirt. as he lifted the hem of the fabric, he expected to see your cunt clad in some form of underwear at least, though he was pleasantly surprised to find you bare.

"darlin'," he growled, despite being fully aware that you couldn't hear him. toji did his best to shift your legs for a better view all whilst keeping you asleep. he began with pressing his mouth to your pretty pussy, flicking his tongue around your already wet folds. his hips began to subconsciously grind against the mattress, cock desperate for some kind of friction.

you barely even stirred. toji's movements were light enough for you to remain suspended in your sleepy state, yet sufficient enough to ellicit the faintest whimpers. the man simply couldn't take anymore, instead opting to prepare your cunt for him.

two skilled fingers traced down your slit, collecting some of your wetness before plunging into your sloppy hole. at that point, your adorable little mewls grew louder, velvety walls fluttering around toji's calloused digits as he scissored your cunt. no matter how many times he fucked you, the immeasurable girth of his cock would always result in a degree of pain, and (contrasting to the assassin's typical demeanor) he would do everything within his power to prioritise your comfort.

a soft whimper of his name distracted toji from his train of thought, prompting him to look at your barely conscious self.

"mornin', baby," he cooed softly, continuing to slowly play with your cunt. the man placed a tender kiss to your inner thigh and you could feel the upturned corners of his lips. whilst you weren't entirely aware of your surroundings just yet, you knew that you were safe with toji and let yourself remain in a sleepy, blissful haze.

all you murmured in reply was a faint greeting, hands finding their way to toji's obsidian locks and guiding his head towards your pussy. he allowed you to move him, accepting your unspoken request and locking his lips around your sensitive clit. usually, he would have mumbled few degrading lines before giving in, though right now all he cared about was making you feel good — you were truly seeing the different side of toji fushiguro.

he traced circles around the swollen bud, each movement laced with intense precision, a product of his muscle memory at this point. toji continued to finger your spasming hole, working towards you over the edge. his own desires had been long forgotten, instead being content with rutting his hips against the sheets whilst making you cream on his hand; it reminded him of his horny teen years once again.

you were still crawling out of your dreamy, post-sleep state and barely clinging to the waking world, so it was complete and utter incoherence that fell past your lips in place of the three magic words of "i'm gonna cum,".

fortunately, toji was accustomed to your body well enough to notice the signs, continuing to attack your cunt with the deadly combination of his expert fingers and able tongue. you could even feel the rough skin of his scar on your inner thigh, driving you absolutely insane. shifting past the previous movements of his tongue, toji began to trace his name onto your clit.

there was nothing more satisfying to the man than making you cum with that specific weapon in his arsenal. he couldn't help himself from thanking whatever damn god there was that somebody as sweet as you lay next to him at night, let alone allowing him to commit such lewd acts with you.

your fingers tangled in his dark locks once more, desperate to prolong the effects of your orgasm. toji continued his ministrations until your grip loosened, finally coming down from what was an intense good morning from your lover. he pulled himself up, greeting you once again as you cutely rubbed sleep from your eyes.

toji placed a gentle kiss to your forehead before sliding his thumb between your lips. you could taste yourself on him, eagerly lapping at the slick-coated digit and looking up at him with those wide, innocent eyes that could get you anything you asked for — though never one for belief in higher deities, in that moment, he saw you as an angel.

"mornin', my love. how about i fill your cute lil' cunt with my cock while you finish wakin' up?"

[sciderman]

wade’s not a loser he’s just doomed to lose in love because his type is controlling people who make him feel special because he’s their latest pet project and then it inevitably burns out and he gets hurt because he wants too much to please/to be someone else they like and most of them only want an idea of him 😭 that’s different from being a loser. it’s called being sensitive 😭

😔 see, peter's not exactly like that - in fact, he wants to be largely hands-off when it comes to wade's reformation but wade kind of - in his head, still makes those parallels to nate. it's why civil war was such a huge breech of trust for wade – that peter didn't "trust" wade to make the right decision all by himself.

it tanked wade's trust in himself - his own sense of pride and self-determinism, to have peter kind of - police him in that way.

wade's so apprehensive about this because he knows he's perpetually aiming to please. at the expense of his own authentic self. and it's a curse. wade hasn't really found a sense of self because he's always changing to be what his lover wants of him.

[x]

(and that's where the choker motif comes in - which is actually why i was reluctant to bring the choker back, because i wanted wade to kind of - have overcome this.)

the collar was symbolic for a very, very specific thing. and it's not a positive thing. wade's just a dog (bow wow) - his owner throws a bone, he'll fetch it.

i wanted him to have overcome it - which is why i got rid of the choker again after civil war was over - but - y'know, i guess he hasn't overcome it. it's still there. just manifested in a different form. and no matter how both nate and peter want wade to be honest and authentic - wade's certain that's not a good idea. that, or wade honestly - with his shifting brain terrain, doesn't entirely trust himself enough to know himself.

i think the unfortunate thing with wade is not only that he's unpredictable to everyone else - he's unpredictable to himself, too.

[x]

he doesn't put a lot of faith into himself, when it comes to restraint and impulse control. he's so, so uncertain, all the time. he never believes he's ready. never believes he's worthy.

he's constantly afraid of relapse, and of repeating the cycle, over and over. and i think the reason why wade's unable to evolve is maybe to do with the fact that he's not stopped to think about who he wants to be – he's so concerned with what other people want him to be.

i find it so funny that it's become a focal point to wade's character at the moment, because it was something the original draft of civil war explored before the uncle ben angle - wade was dragging peter for filth over him being too concerned over what other people think of him to embrace his own truth.

oh. projecting, are we?

wade - he just wants to be whatever will be wanted. whatever's in demand. whatever the preferred flavour of the week is. whatever's hot right now. whatever will get him sympathy, get him attention, get him approval, get him love. in fact, the entire deadpool persona was founded because he admired spider-man and wanted to be admired in the same way he admires spider-man.

it's a curse, and he's painfully aware of it.

so he'll put on an act and put on a mask and twist the truth to keep everyone interested. but he alienates people that way too. and for peter parker, who just craves some authenticity from wade - peter parker, who fell in love with the modest wade in swim trunks who put away the mask and lay down his weapons and laid his heart bare on the sandy shores of the bahamas...

for peter parker, it's kind of infuriating. that after all this time, wade still doesn't understand that peter loves wade without all the performances and pretence. wade doesn't need to keep pretending.

peter and wade are both guilty of masking - pretending to be something else to be more socially accepted or more appealing or more (or in peter's case, less) attention-grabbing. but where they differ is that when peter gets close to someone, he has this compulsive desire to unmask and be seen. particularly if he feels safe to do so.

whereas wade still lives in fear of it - every day. sometimes, no matter how close he gets to someone.

[aspd-culture]

Hi, a bit of a weird question, but I noticed that a lot of people I follow, who have aspd have a strong connection (not really sure how to explain it) to wolfs/dogs and canines in general, and I just wanted to ask whether this is a general thing or is it just my circle lol

Yeah I mean that tracks. My abuser was super into wolves, so I don’t relate to those *anymore*, but I previously identified as a wolf and therian and still follow dog therian tags as a shape-shifting alter including dogs.

I think it’s sort of like how autistic people sometimes like cats: cats behave in a way that makes a lot of sense to autistic people and they can relate to.

The same kinda goes with dogs/wolves and pwASPD. Some breeds of dogs and all wolves are seen as aggressive, dangerous, uncontrollable, and are avoided and some people even think should not be bred or be put down - all for things that have nothing to do with the animal themselves and in fact are about how they were treated. If you mistreat a dog through its formative years, you’ll get a very *defensive* (not aggressive idc what people say) dog. They’ll be quick to attack and maybe not warn first the way other dogs will because they learned that’s what keeps them safe - me fuckin too dude - and they risk getting literally put down in a legal and community supported way for that behavior they never asked to be taught.

And this is just a personal thing, but I kind of romanticize the idea of being a dog - because there’s a large community of people who understand that it’s not the dog’s fault and will fight for them to be accepted and understood; who’ll meet that dog where they’re at and work with them with complete understanding and forgiveness for anything the dog does wrong. People who will *get bitten* and apologize for scaring the dog. And what really makes me envy dogs is that dogs are able to turn it around no matter how old they are - even senior dogs who were extremely reactive can usually be turned around and act like a normal dog or even be particularly caring and docile because dogs can be taught at any age that they are safe now and they don’t need to behave that way anymore. I wish my brain was capable of learning that and undoing all the neurological damage people did to me, and I wish people would look at me and see and understand the stress and anxiety in my eyes when I act out because I felt unsafe.

So uh yeah, anyways, I’d say it’s not uncommon.

Plain text below the cut:

Yeah I mean that tracks. My abuser was super into wolves, so I don’t relate to those *anymore*, but I previously identified as a wolf and therian and still follow dog therian tags as a shape-shifting alter including dogs.

I think it’s sort of like how autistic people sometimes like cats: cats behave in a way that makes a lot of sense to autistic people and they can relate to.

The same kinda goes with dogs/wolves and pwASPD. Some breeds of dogs and all wolves are seen as aggressive, dangerous, uncontrollable, and are avoided and some people even think should not be bred or be put down - all for things that have nothing to do with the animal themselves and in fact are about how they were treated. If you mistreat a dog through its formative years, you’ll get a very *defensive* (not aggressive idc what people say) dog. They’ll be quick to attack and maybe not warn first the way other dogs will because they learned that’s what keeps them safe - me fuckin too dude - and they risk getting literally put down in a legal and community supported way for that behavior they never asked to be taught.

And this is just a personal thing, but I kind of romanticize the idea of being a dog - because there’s a large community of people who understand that it’s not the dog’s fault and will fight for them to be accepted and understood; who’ll meet that dog where they’re at and work with them with complete understanding and forgiveness for anything the dog does wrong. People who will *get bitten* and apologize for scaring the dog. And what really makes me envy dogs is that dogs are able to turn it around no matter how old they are - even senior dogs who were extremely reactive can usually be turned around and act like a normal dog or even be particularly caring and docile because dogs can be taught at any age that they are safe now and they don’t need to behave that way anymore. I wish my brain was capable of learning that and undoing all the neurological damage people did to me, and I wish people would look at me and see and understand the stress and anxiety in my eyes when I act out because I felt unsafe.

So uh yeah, anyways, I’d say it’s not uncommon.

[storiesandthingsofthatnature]

Soft and Spicy

Summary: Being Gojou Satoru’s girlfriend has its perks. But nothing beats an afternoon of comfort with a side of spicy. 

Word Count: 2.5k 

Pairing: Gojou Satoru x Hispanic!Fem! reader (afab) 

Warnings: Breeding kink, praise, unprotected sex (don’t be silly), cream pie, fingering, dom/sub dynamics, possessive maybe?, lemme know if I missed anything! :D

Disclaimer: MDNI!! 18+ only!

A/N: Hello! So I have seen little to any Hispanic reader fics so I decided why not make one? :3 This is my first fic in this fandom so please be kind :3c Comments, likes and reblogs are heavily appreciated! :D Also requests are open so don’t be afraid to hop on by ^^ also this is a smol excerpt for a gojou satoru x y/n fanfic. Lemme know if y'all are interested in a full story :D I has ideas~

Thank you and enjoy! :D

Officially being dubbed Gojou Satoru’s girlfriend was both a blessing and a curse. While your safety became absolute and acceptance more smoothly, Gojou’s energy was far different from yours. While you  are more than comfortable staying in a comfy spot for hours on end, Gojou has to be constantly doing something. You swear he has ADHD but know he would never get checked officially for it. 

Today was a particularly rainy day for you, despite it being a sunny 70 degrees spring day. Gojou knows about your depression and no matter how much you say you can handle things on your own and don’t want to be a burden, he still nudges his way in. You lay curled amongst a plethora of pillows, fluffy blankets covering you entirely as you tried to nap away your icky feelings. Gojou was worried, you could tell. You weren't texting him as much and for now, you were able to veer around his probing questions but you weren’t sure how long you could keep it up. 

However, your thoughts were interrupted when a sudden heavy pressure-filled the dorm room. You tense, too afraid to look as you knew full well who it was. With Gojou he had certain pressures and you noticed it depended on his mood. Most were light and airy but this one was laced with worry and frustration. “Are you seriously going to ignore me all day?” His voice made your chest ache, you shifting slightly into a tighter ball. 

There was a soft sigh followed by the soft padding of footsteps. “Can I at least join you?” Gojou gently inquired, your face heating up. You would be so close to him but something told you that you needed that the most right now. “Yes.” You said softly, your voice wavy from hours of silent sobbing. Gojou maneuvered through your nest with ease, large hands reaching out for your form and latching on, you being pulled into a tight embrace.

 Your body acted on its own, arms snaking around Gojou as you buried your face into his chest. Calloused fingers sifted through your hair, blunt nails gently massaging your scalp and the base of your neck. He entangled your legs together, his grip upon you tight as if he feared you would run. “I’m sorry.” You breathed. “It’s been one of those days.” You had warned him ahead of this, that your manic depression was always a relationship breaker. But like Gojou Satoru is, he didn’t listen and still swooped you off your feet.

 You were met with a hum,” However, I won’t be able to understand how to help you if you keep me away.” He whispered, lips brushing against the crown of your head. Idly, your fingers traced along the lines of Gojou’s back muscles that you were able to feel through the fabric of his shirt. “I’m not too sure what would help right now.” You supplied. After a moment of silence, Gojou spoke,” Do I help, at least?” Your cheeks flushed a pretty pink, [e/c] eyes looking down bashfully. “You do. Your presence alone is more than enough.”

 “Don’t close me off then, okay?” He accented his statement by strengthening his grip around you. You give a small nod, eyes closing while you relax against his form. You both stayed like that for a while, Gojou in a state of zen while you drifted in and out of sleep. You wanted to be awake to enjoy this time with him, but his embrace was so warm and comfy that you couldn’t help but nod off in between. But, Gojou didn’t mind. Just being able to hold the love of his life in his arms is more than enough for him. 

The whole day was spent lazing about in each other’s embrace, you catching up on rest before nightfall officially hit. Fully awake now you both chatted amongst each other, talking about anything and everything. Before feelings were confessed Gojou and you were two peas in a pod and luckily the rhythm was still the same after. However, Gojou can be more physical with you now and he would be lying if he said your current position was not making him think of a few ideas. 

Suddenly, caught mid-sentence, you were snatched by the waist and maneuvered to where you were straddling Gojou. What was once a tame atmosphere soon became a lot more tense. You blinked before you could comprehend what just happened, and when you did you tried to take off. “G-Gojou! Wha-” The firm grip on your waist shifted to the fat of your ass, the male keeping you firmly in place. “Sorry, baby girl. I just wanted to get a better look at you is all.” He said with a sweet tone, you producing a small pout. 

You were still in pajamas from the night before; a large shirt with some boy shorts. You suddenly remembered that you weren’t wearing a bra and even though you silently pleaded that Gojou hadn’t noticed, he noticed. He’s noticed a lot of things since he’s been able to hold you. Specifically, just how small you are. He has fought alongside you for two years now, has been with you through thick and thin and it’s only now he realizes y’alls size difference. You were a woman to be reckoned with, a powerful sorceress who is climbing fast in the ranks. But Gojou would be the only one to see you this vulnerable and he had a couple of ways to keep it that way.

 Unable to meet Gojou’s gaze, you shifted your sight elsewhere. You felt his thumbs beginning to rub gently into your hip bones, the closeness to your heat making you blush. “You’re so unnecessarily shy.” He quipped, you mentally scoffing at the insight of an extrovert. “You’re honestly not that confident in your appearance?” His question sounded so sincere that you made the mistake of looking at him. Piercing blue met glossy [e/c] and you were stuck, no longer able to look away.

“Why should I be?” The question slipped from your lips, Gojou rising from his laying position to sitting up with you still latched to his lap. His forehead met yours as you suffocated from the intensity that was Gojou Satoru’s intent. “I’d be more than happy to show you.” His right index had found its way underneath your chin, tilting you into the perfect position for a kiss. He began to lean in slowly. “Will you let me?” He asked, a euphoric chill shooting down the base of your spine. You knew what this entailed, you knew what he was asking. And while you were very nervous, you quickly found yourself aching for him. “Yes.”

The kiss was definitely something you had never felt before. He wasn’t your first, but it certainly was one that immediately sent your heart rate skyrocketing and your mind turning into white noise. He literally took your breath away and Amelia didn’t mind it one bit. You found a rhythm easily, you soon finding it hard to keep up, however. You felt like he was devouring you and while it was a very welcomed feeling, it was also a foreign one. As your kiss grew heated you felt a slick pool beginning to pile within the middle of your underwear. You felt slightly embarrassed that you were already this wet, but immediately changed your mind when you ground against his hard-on. “Baby, you’re already this wet? I haven’t done anything, though~” He teased, however, you could feel him pulsing through the thin fabric of your panties.

 You placed your face into the crook of his neck, grinding becoming more insistent as you gave little nips along Gojou’s pulse line. “Acting all shy but you go and do this. Such a cutie.” He gently mocked but his breath hitched a couple of times when you rubbed against him just right.  Soon, your underwear began to stick against your wet cunt, the fabric outlining your heat. Before you could move to take them off you felt Gojou insert his right index into your flower with ease. Caught off guard, a wanton moan left you as you bit down on Gojou’s shoulder. “Blaming me? How cruel.” He feigned offense, a second finger soon joining the first. 

You tried your best to conceal your moans, mouth placed against the crook of Gojou’s neck. But your lover was not having it and you found your positions flipped once more. Using his blindfold, he tied your hands together and placed them above your head. “No more hiding from me, understand?” His demeanor had slightly changed, his playful tone accompanied by sternness. You could only nod, Gojou’s expression softened once more. “Good girl.” The praise made you visibly shiver.

 Gojou swiftly went back to his previous action, your honey-dipped moans freely filling the room. “So beautiful.” He whispered, Gojou propping himself up just above you while he fingered you. “Being such a good girl for me.” A long moan followed as he added a third, his thumb rubbing against your clit. Your toes curled as you felt a familiar coil beginning to tighten. You let out a breathy whine, Gojou easily finding all the right spots within you as if he already knew. Perhaps he did? You had no idea with the sneaky bastard…

His middle finger pressed firmly against a particularly gummy spot, the action having you keening. “What the hell?!” Of all your years of masturbation and very few sexual encounters with others, you have never experienced an intense and overwhelming feeling such as now. You went to crawl backward but was stopped by a firm grip, a mischievous smirk placed upon Gojou’s face. “Found it~” He beamed, his fingers now focused on that one area much to your dismay.

It only took a few harsh pokes to have you cumming, your walls creating a vice grip around Gojou’s fingers. But to your horror you continued the action, the overstimulation nearly unbearable. “Gojou, no! Too much!” You practically sobbed, tears welling in the corners of your eyes. A second unforeseen orgasm was ripped out of you and you nearly screamed. Pleas turned into garbled words as he rubbed you through the high. “Toruuuuuuuu.” You managed to say, any other words jumping ship from your mind.

  Gojou let out a small laugh,” Don’t get to lose your mind often, do you? Don’t worry, I’m happy to assist~” He cooed. You pulled against your restraints, your pleas for Gojou to stop falling on deaf ears. “Toomuchtoomuchtoomuch - Ay. Dios!” He had done it, reduced you to your second language. He hummed with satisfaction, your mother tongue being the prettiest thing that ever graced his ears. “Amor, no mas.” You whined, the feeling of a third orgasm looming over you. 

He didn’t need to understand you to get what you were trying to say, but he loved seeing you this way. Usually, you’re so mentally exhausted and an aura of sadness always hangs around you despite your good luck charms being near you for stability. His heart ached for you because you were in so much internal pain and you just wouldn’t open up about it. Having you under him like this, tied hands gripping onto loose sheets while you gazed up at him as if he was your everything and more was what he strived for. Right now your cautious nature was thrown to the wind, your walls completely down for him to easily slip through and set up shop. Like hell was he going to let you go after this.

Suddenly, your back arched like a fine-tuned bow. Gibberish escaped your mouth as you reached your peak for the third time in under ten minutes. Tears slipped down your cheeks as Gojou finally slowed down his fingering, the male sure you were more than ready for him. You, on the other hand, had floated off into your own headspace for a while. You had never experienced such pleasure consecutively and your brain was trying to catch up again. 

Gojou noticed your vacant gaze and his ego was fluffed up from the display. “Drift off somewhere, baby?” He placed both hands on either side of your face, thumbs rubbing your tears away while he placed butterfly kisses on your lips and jawline. His ministrations slowly brought you back down to him, you soon returned his kisses. “There she is~” He whispered, your blush having reached your collarbones at this point. 

To be honest, you could pass out. Your eyelids feel heavy and you could feel yourself beginning to sink into the mattress further. But then you found yourself on your stomach, a small throw pillow having been placed underneath your pelvis so your ass was in the air at an angle. You felt very exposed but the familiar weight of Gojou against your back helped to ease you. “Someone looks sleepy.” Gojou practically purred. “Want to be my pillow princess, then?” He inquired, the feeling of something heavy and hot poking against your already leaking entrance. 

You gave a small noise, you gave in to be used. “Condom?” You asked softly, your sleepy voice making Gojou kiss your shoulder. “Not a chance.” He said simply before plunging himself into you fully in one swift motion. You gave a gorgeous mew, hands fisting into the sheets below as Gojou sheathed himself fully. He let out a small, shaky breath. “So fucking tight…” He groaned, but you were a little worried with Gojou being bare. 

“Gojou, what if I-?” He pulled out of you until it was just the tip, and then slammed back in which caused you to let out a cry. “Gojou! I could get pregnant!” You try to reason but his thrusts were incessant. He let out a chuckle. “I know that, sweetheart. But wouldn’t that be just a sight? You, heavy with my child. Letting everyone know who knocked you up in 9 months. Oh, how scandalous would that be?” He teased as he found a nice rhythm. You let out a groan at his words, your walls clenching around Gojou’s cock which made his hips stutter. 

“Like that thought, huh? Such a good girl for me.” You start to meet his thrusts with your own, gyrating down onto his cock to add to the nice pressure that was him. You could feel yourself nearing your orgasm once more, the tightening of the coil within your abdomen threatening to snap at any moment. “G-gonna cum again.” You warn and Gojou’s thrusts picked up. “Me too.” He growled. “Cum together?” He asked and you nod with enthusiasm. It only took a few more jabs of your gummy spot before your toes curled to the point that a cramp was threatening to bloom. You let out a scream of Gojou’s name as you creamed all over his cock, your heavy contractions making your lover fall over the edge as well.

 He buried himself deep within you, the feeling of hot ropes of cum hitting your puffy walls making you bite your bottom lip and let out a content sigh. You were worried about the consequences but the thought of making a life with Gojou was far more appealing than you could have imagined. “Now all I need to do is wife you up.” The male said with a smile and you couldn’t help but hum in affirmation at that. 

[digenerate-trash]

pls…how will yan avery react if you do something to embarrass him in public like at one of those parties….im so thirsty…….

You and me both brother.

(Gonna do some high rage Avery)

You could see Avery's face burn red across the room. You've been such a terror this evening. Making crude jokes. Being less than polite to the host, even at one point refusing to indulge Avery with a dance. He was paying you after all. Any request he made of you should be accepted and carried out with enthusiasm. But this was the last straw. 

Seeing you across the room flirting with another guest. They offered you a drink and you accepted it readily. You continued to laugh along with the other guests and you seemed... happy, Genuinely. You looked so relaxed.

This must be some kind of slight against him. You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? Why were you being so difficult today? He's done nothing but indulge you. He knows that without him you'd be doing far worse things for a dollar. 

Avery can't bear to make a scene. He can't let anyone here know that some small part of him breaks in two whenever he sees you happy with someone else. So he makes his excuses to the host before going to grab you. 

His touch is gentle at first as he leads you away. But as you get farther and farther away from the party Avery's grip tightens around your wrist and his polite smile morphs into a scowl.

Avery's mind is poisoned with thoughts of you. You've consumed the better parts of his rational thought and the only parts that remain are the ones that need you to only have eyes for him. 

he slams your body against the side of his car and grips your chin forcing you to meet his gaze.

You're not sure what he's searching for as he silently glares through you. Every time you shift or squirm his nails dig in more and he growls a bit.

When his little inspection is done he opens up the back of the car and shoves you inside. You're a bit worried about the silent treatment he's giving you but hopefully, this is just your average tantrum. He'll call you a worthless whore. And besides some bruises, you'll be fine tonight when he drops you off. 

But when Avery starts to drive off it's getting more and more clear that he's not heading back to the orphanage. 

You start to worry a bit. Hands shaking as you drive in silence. Every once and a while your eyes meet in the review mirror. He's still pissed. You barely even know what you did wrong.

Avery pulls into some kind of vacant lot. The car parks and your breath hitches a bit before Avery gets out of the car. Opening up the back door and yanking out out by your hair. 

It hurts- but Avery has been rough before. 

He shoves you to the ground the pavement scrapes your knees and the cool night air sobers you up a bit. 

"Apologize," Avery demands. 

You know it doesn't matter if you've done anything wrong or not. Avery doesn't care about reason. He just wants you to whimper out something to make him feel better. 

"I'm sorry-" you say. The words are quick. Usually, just an apology is enough to calm him. 

"Again," Avery says. He's still angry.

"I'm really sorry." You spit this one out. Like it tastes bad. 

Avery still isn't satisfied. He glares before kicking you sharply in the stomach causing you to cough and lean forward a bit holding a fast-forming bruise 

"I want you to mean it this time. Say sorry like you mean it!" 

"S-sorry-" you stutter a bit your stomach hurts, and tears prick at your eyes from the pain. 

"Better," Avery says before kneeling and lifting your face gingerly. His expression has softened a bit but he still isn't done. 

"Now say "I love you"." He whispers his thumb stroking your cheek

This is new... he's never demanded this before... he's never wanted anything more than polite arm candy and sexual favors... but this is worse somehow. 

Your hesitation seems to bother Avery and he pinches your cheek a bit. 

"Say it." Avery spits. "Say it like you really mean it as well or this night only going to get worse."

"... I love you..."

[undercover--bunny]

🦇 Caregiver! Dracule Mihawk Headcanons 📖

Requested by Anon!

Gender Natural terms for the reader!

• Because of Mihawks more outwardly introverted nature, when he learned about/discovered your regression, he was very... unreactive. Basically just an "I see." before he moved along like nothing happened. Don't mistake it for a bad thing though! He just doesn't quite understand it right off the bat, he needs some time. He's the type to go off and privately research more on regression then integrate you directly.

• It does take him a while to warm up the idea of being your caregiver however, and early on he might come off as distant or uncomfortable. He's trying, it's all just new territory for someone like him. He's used to living alone, only keeping the company of those he was required to be around. But you were one of his exceptions, for one reason or another. And if this can help, he wants to try for you.

• Mihawk is a little more on the stricter side as a caregiver. He's someone who likes to have rules in place, especially in his home. So he's not afraid to scold you or put you in timeout if you break one of his rules or misbehave. But don't worry, he'll be sure to comfort you afterwards

• That doesn't mean he can't be kind, he's just not the best at expressing it. A lot of his affection takes more subtle forms. Sitting across from you at the dinner table reading the newspaper while you color, watching you play with your stuffies while he sipped his wine, softening his gaze when you spoke to him. It's comforting for the both of you to just share the same space, his presence makes you feel safe.

Mihawk took a sip of his wine and turned to the next page of his novel. He sat the glass gently back on its coaster, then let his gaze flick from his book to you. You sat on the floor just a few steps away from him. You were quietly making up a story with your stuffed animals. Mihawk didn't hear all the details, but he made out the word "sword" a few times, which made him chuckle under his breath.

There was something quite... calming about all of this. As his focus turned back to his novel, the warlord felt himself relax into his seat. He could certainly get used to moments like these.

• He isn't big on nicknames, though he does call you "Little one" and "child" a lot

• Mihawk won't say it out loud, but he loves to carry you when you're little. Maybe he just likes subtly showing off his strength, maybe it's the adorable way you look up at him when he holds you, maybe it's just soothing. Whatever the reason, expect to be carried a lot.

"Hmm, looks like someone tired themselves out." Mihawk mused aloud.

Below him, you lay on the ground, pieces of paper and markers strew around you as you blissfully slept. Careful not to wake you, the warlord knelt down and gently lifted you from the floor.

"Best not to leave you out here." He muttered to himself.

As he turned to walk down the hallway, he felt you shift in his hold. He couldn't deny how content he felt as you wrapped you sleepily wrapped your arms around his neck and rested your head on his shoulder. It was small moments like these that he enjoyed the most.

• You wouldn't peg him for it, but Mihawk likes to read to you while you're regressed. It's a favorite pastime for the two of you. He'll let you cuddle up in his lap and quietly read one of his more child-friendly novels. He doesn't do voices, but that doesn't matter. His voice was calming by itself.

• The first time you called him "Papa" he felt a warmth in him that he'd never felt before. With one word he felt just the smallest bit more protective of you. He seldom calls himself by it, but he accepts the role nonetheless.

• Expect a lot of bat themed regression gear, he's still a goth

• You know those dads who make up scary stories to scare their kids? Yeah, he's one of those. It's never anything too spooky, just harmless folk tales.

[v3nusxsky]

Words hurt| angst

*A/n~ I'm sorry I needed to write angst due to personal reasons. Therapy of sorts yet I still wanted to share it with you all. *

Tw~ self harm bullying?

Prompt~ reader has abilities of the mind and isn't in control of them yet. In a meeting with the principal their control slips and Larissa learns new facts about reader. Angst with some comforting at the end. Teacher/student platonic

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You knew it was rare that Nevermore accepted student admissions mid way through the term. You realised how lucky you were for the opportunity. Previously, you had been to school with the "Normies", the word itself making your skin crawl. You thought you were normal once. Those years at the school were traumatic to say the least. No one understood you, your mannerisms, your shy nature. Why would Nevermore be any different?

Unfortunately for you, Nevermore seemed to be more of a challenge. Despite the fact you prided yourself on being intelligent, you struggled in most of your subjects. I mean bounty? What school would normally teach bounty? No normal school that's what. No matter how hard you tried, the hours you put into your studies, your grades continued to decline. Obviously you had your grace period, in which you were given to settle into your new home. After all it was a massive adjustment, moving half way across the country. New environment, new people and new classes. However after the period of time you were given your grades continued to steadily decline. That was what brought you here. Weekly progress meetings with the one and only Principle Larissa Weems.

The meetings were strictly professional of course, but due to your reserved nature Larissa's concern for you only grew. You didn't speak much. A simple nod of your head here and a tiny gesture or hmm in acknowledgement. Due to the growing concern, and declining grades Larissa felt compelled to keep a close eye on you. Often she would search for you on the quad hoping to see you with newly found friends or at least conversing with someone. Not even Enid could get your attention. No you always sat on the same bench at the back of the quad with a book drawn up to your face just enough to see the tops of your glasses. Your eyes dancing over the pages as you had some earbuds in. It was only then that you seemed to be truly relaxed. Your shoulders were less tight, one leg crossed over the other and hands loosely clutching your book as if it was a life line.

This recent meeting was due to start in your study period. A saving grace really. Despite your grade's declining you had caught up on all the work you could. Just nothing staying in. Frustrating as it was you much preferred to study in the safety of your dorm, study hall with others was the worst form of torture you could imagine. The bell rang out over your music causing you to mark the page and slip your book into your tote bag. Earbuds in, you slowly made your way to Larissa's office.

Brains. Fascinating things but minds? Those were deeper than that. You knew that first hand. The eyes maybe the windows to the soul but the mind? That was definitely something. As you made your way to your meeting you were tormented with the minds of all the other students. Overwhelming didn't quite describe the torture. Being new to this ability thing, your control was definitely not strong. In fact you had no clue what you were doing. Sometimes you just yearned for it all to stop. To be alone with your thoughts. It was as you rounded the corner that the mind of Wednesday Addams caught your attention. It was a gory scene, blood everywhere and all sorts of instruments left out. And no it was not the musical kind. Blinking rapidly you attempted to shift the image from your thoughts and quickly but quietly rapped on Larissa's door.

Permission granted, you slipped into the office silently making your way to your usual seat. Only then did you take your earbuds from your ears and pausing your well thought out playlist. Your fingers shook ever so slightly as you fiddled with the wires in your lap.

"So Y/n, I looked over your grades and although your bounty grade is quite low there's been some small progress in other subjects." She stated eyes glued to you watching your reaction. Which was a simple nod. "Your bounty teacher is Mrs Thornhill yes?"

Again a small nod was all she received. When you looked up into the sapphire colour iris's only then was the principal able to see how unfocused your eyes were. Odd. She was use to the blank stares, unusually laser focused gaze. But unfocused eyes? They almost seem clouded by something she couldn't quite place. How peculiar.

"Are you alright dear? You seem rather odd today" she questioned you softening her gasp ever so slightly. She maybe your principal but all of the students in Nevermore were treated as if they were her actual children.  You hadn't told Larissa what type of outcast you were. In fact no one in Nevermore knew. However An auditable gasp filled the room as images forced their way into the older woman's mind.

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Shadows leaked from the gaps in the enormous trees around you. You could feel the soft crunch of leaves and soil below your body. The feet of others near you. Body curled up into a feeble attempt of comforting yourself. The taunting of the others ringing over your ears.

"Oh look it's scared!" One taunted

"Freak"

"Stay out of our heads"

"Monster"

"Weirdo"

Was a few of the disgusting comments hurled your way. Tears flowing freely as you were cornered with no way out. Only then did you catch sight of what they had with them. Objects that seemed to be ready to be used on you. All you had to do was endure it and attempt to be braver than you are.

"I didn't go in your heads. Why would I want to" you spat out at them hoping to end this quicker so you could go home.

"Liar" the ring Leader roared.

"You don't belong with the Normies Y/n you do know that don't you? Freak"

"Misfit"

All while hurling these awful insults, each teen took it in terms to bring their objects down on your body. A few bats and some even using their own hands or feet to punctuate their hate. Only when the leader spat hate on you did he bring his silver pocket knife down on your arms. Blood spilling from the slashes there. Causing you to cry out as the familiar stinging pain took over your mind. Only then did the group retreat laughing amongst themselves, leaving you alone bruised and bloody on the forest floor of your home town.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

Tears flowed freely almost as if they were caressing your cheeks. Your mind reeling at the memory, unsure on what brought on that particular memory now. Of course it wasn't abnormal for you to relive some of the moments in your life that caused you direct pain. Especially since moving it was a more common occurrence. Normally, you'd be in your dorm, in your own space. Most definitely not sat in your principals office. Your misty sea blue eyes flickered up to see the shocked expression on the women's face. Oh fuck! You hadn't  just ? Fuck. She had seen what you saw. How? Why? How would you approach this. Larissa didn't even know you had abilities of the mind. Let alone that you had absolutely no idea on how to control it.

"I-uh Miss Weems - ss orry i um sorry" you stuttered out ashamed of your lack of control. You immediately stood to leave before any response could be given. It was the delicate fingers wrapping around your fingers that grounded you.

"Darling, it's okay. You can control minds yes? Or was that some kind of physic vision?" You could see the concern in her eyes. You tensed at the question. No one had ever reacted well when this came out. But for some reason the comforting touch and the soft look in her eyes allowed you to feel safe. Even her thoughts were following that theme.

"Mind" you whimpered out looking at the ground. "I'm sorry I don't have any control I didn't know I could do this a few month ago. And now it's all too much. I didn't mean to do it. I'm sorry I really didn't mean to." More tears straying down your cheeks as you felt compelled to explain your side of the story.

"Hey hey hey, hush little one it's okay you're only young. It's okay to not have control over it yet. She lightly tilted your chin upwards ensuring you would hear the next words."would you like to learn? I could help teach you."

"You read minds?" You questioned absolutely dumbfounded at this reaction.

"Not quite but I know a few people that do similar to you. And my ability itself is controlled in a similar way." Her tone was soothing and showing a understanding of what you may be feeling. Perhaps you weren't so alone in this. "What you showed me? Was that a memory?" You could tell she was treading carefully here.

"Yes... a month before I came here." You clarified feeling so small. Almost like you were back in the forest again.

"Oh darling I'm sorry. I'm going to share something with you that may help. Your abilities will be closely linked to your emotions. Certain things may trigger you to lose your control over who you let in your mind. You clearly have the ability to project and I'm assuming you can read minds too?"

You nodded only thinking about how exhausted you were

"I'm so fucking exhausted now"

"Y/n? Are you tired?"

"Hmm what?"

"You said you were tired..."

"I didn't speak... *fuck I did it again*"

"Normally I wouldn't allow the language but Y/n you're excused from classes for the rest of the day. Go to your dorm and rest okay? Come and see me later and we can start to work on your control. Maybe then you'll be able to focus more on your work." Her tone was commanding but gentle causing you to nodded and place an earbud back into your ears. You watched as she observed you resuming the playing of your playlist.

"Y/n?"

"Yes ?"

"Does the music help?" Curiosity was a strange feeling but she couldn't help herself but ask.

A small nod was all the response she got as you focused on the thumping of the beats in the music.

As you were leaving one thought stood out to you

"You're an intelligent girl Y/n you're going to be alright."

Word count~ 1849

*A/n~ little bit of angst with some comforting Larissa. This is your daily reminder that words do in fact hurt and kindness is always free. I'll see you in the next chapter of course. Also messages are open for anyone who just needs a listening ear. Thank you for reading.*

[beating-beetle-heart]

Shadow x Reader

More x reader nsfw practice! Minors dni

Pairing:

Shadow Monster x Human

F/F

There is something about the dark that pulls people. It curls, strangles, and beckons those from all walks of life. In the dark, you see things that never leave and never know if it is reality or fiction. Is it a rock, jutting out from that yard, or is a person staring? Are those misty, humanoid shapes seen in glances through the headlights of a car really just imagination? It can't be. It just can't be, Sarah refuses to accept it because if it is really all in her head...

She takes a breath, closes her eyes. The prickling against her nerves is too real, too demanding. It is not from a figment, but rather some lurking, unseen creature. Truth be told, Sarah didn't only feel it at night, but it was more noticeable in the wee, chilly hours, when the sky finishes transitioning from deep blue to black and the whole world stills. In the day the feeling is much less threatening. She'd wake to the bed sheets tucked in at the corners, a job she could never bring herself to care about enough to do. Other times, a lost object would pop into a place she'd sworn she'd checked. If anything, the presence was more helpful than frightening. The scariest parts were when shadows move a little too oddly in the corner of her eye, or when the light under a door dims despite her living alone. A helpful creature, no matter how altruistic and kind of intention, is still frightening when it is unknown. If it showed itself to her, then maybe, just maybe she'd learn to not fear. She could call to it tonight and ask it to show itself. The shadows would pull into a lump and form slowly, bit by bit, keeping her guessing till finally it completed. Or -a tingling shiver zipped down her spine- it would use the shadows to keep itself hidden even as it draws closer. Its cold form would slip across the room silent as as a dead maiden and Sarah would track its flitting bursts in rapturous greed. The thing could be looking right above her and she would have no other choice, nor want, than to follow its lead and trust.

The blat blat of Sarah's shoes against wet pavement came faster as she tried to leave her heated cheeks behind, letting them be lost and swallowed to night's gluttonous appetite. She tugged her trench coat tighter, pulling the collar high and feeling some silly joy at it. It made her feel like a detective from the movies. A stray piece of hair brushed against her mouth. She blew it away with a huff. The feeling of something following close by never once left, not even for a second. Thankfully (was she thankful?) it wasn't long before she came upon upon an old building, its bricks cracked and worn with stray pieces of litter crawling about. Color seemed faded from the entire lot. She trudged up the few stairs to the entrance and breezed through the doors, coat flapping behind. Sudden bright light had her pausing and squinting for a good minute, but a few grumbled words and head shakes later she was up the stairs and counting floors. A strike of panic pounced when, on the third floor, Sarah saw a strip of black run across the landing. Calm down, she told herself. It's alright, it's alright. It's not going to hurt you. And then, suddenly, quite inexplicably, What would it feel like to touch?

Sarah traversed the next two flights with a silent mind and set nerves. She locked the apartment door, its resounding bang trapping her determination in. Her shoes were taken off, placed neatly beside the door, and her coat hung on a chair. The black shifted to and fro till she flicked a switch and light flooded the room. In the fridge's topmost shelf sat a maple doughnut and a case of strawberries. Below that, a carton of milk, an opened packet of cheese bites, and a glass of sweet iced tea she'd made the night before. Sarah sighed, then smiled and waltzed to her room. Groceries could wait. She grabbed her laptop, earlier left nestled in her bed sheets, and began scrolling. A good hour passed during which she mindlessly ate up Feel Good stories and comedian shows, giving an occasional smile to the dark corners just in case.  Sarah laughed till her stomach hurt, but eventually the laughter calmed and the screen dimmed, and the dark sounded off its whispering rustle. She shut the laptop. Its case blurred before her eyes.

There she sat, in the middle of the bed, staring unfocused at nothing, but nought for cause of concern. Her heart fluttered, bringing a twinge of anticipation alongside every thump. She breathed once, twice, long and deep just to feel texture brush against skin. Her shirt is soft, velvety, but her jeans rubbed its rough hew over her legs. It would be nice to get out of them, to instead feel the slide of fuzzy blankets. Grin plastered over face, she got up, continuing in a leisurely way to the light switch. She flicked it off, drowning the room immediately in pitch-black soup. The change had creeping anxiety grip at her nerves and she nearly flipped it on again before refraining, using hope from the earlier night to breed fortitude.

She slid off her pants, feeling for the first time self-conscious over the act. A short, stilted giggle escaped her lips. She felt her way to the bed and gently placed the laptop on her desk. The mattress shifted amidst each movement, but it made no noise, and for that she was grateful. She pulled the covers over herself as if to fall asleep. Nothing sounded, not even the whispering caresses from before. Miraculously the neighbors stayed silent, too. They weren't awfully loud most days, but they weren't usually this quiet, either. Sarah supposed fate was looking out for her tonight. Let it hold a little longer.

She opened her mouth and wet her lips. Silent comfort turned inwards, pressing on her flesh. Slow, meticulous hands wrapped around her stomach and started squeezing. Her idea, so full of possibility before, suddenly seemed stupid. She took a gulp of air, licked her lips, kept her eyes wide open for fear of missing a sign. Her lungs forced the air out and with that air, a question.

"Are you here?"

Tick, tick, tick goes the clock. Sarah didn't dare move, except for her eyes, which scanned as far as possible in all directions. Was the Guest hiding? It'd never communicated directly, a thing that Sarah had merely assumed was possible. For all she knew, it was a speechless thing. The very notion of showing itself might be too threatening. The hand in her stomach clawed harder.

"Please, I'm not going to hurt you. Or freak out." Hopefully. Sarah shifted. "I just think it'd be nice to get to know each other. We live together, after all. I think. And... You've been kind to me..." Indirectly perhaps, but still kind. The room did not talk back. No being lurked in the abundant night. Sarah could feel her lips getting dry and licked them again, although she suspected they'd be dry tonight no matter what she did. She took another breath, proclaiming her last words with hopeful and prominent inflection. "...I'd like to thank you." Her guts twisted, only with a different tang than from earlier. Besides the anxiety lay a spark, traveling down to Sarah's crotch and lighting up the skin. She gasped, squeezing her eyes shut at the sudden self-intrusion, and she waited.

Ticking from the desk's clock gave no sense of time. The minute hand held no true sense. Her stomach eased up. Without a reply, the anxiety dissipated into disappointment. Sarah put a hand over her eyes and sighed. She first became aware of a difference in the air via sound. Her eardrums popped and crackled, letting in a slippery, swarming flood of voices. They murmured indistinguishable syllables and tickled the inside of her ears. Sarah froze, and might have stayed like that if not for the stability of the weighted blankets allowing her claim enough unto bravery to uncover her eyes. To her surprise the room looked the same as before. A few seconds of fruitless searching made her heart sink back down until, there, right there, at the edge of the bed, a playful patch of black crept over the sheets. It was flat at first, cartoon-like in such an unnatural way that it nearly gave her a headache. It formed a solid, inky hand. Deadly claw tips glinted majestically, a good thing all things considered, otherwise Sarah doubted she'd be able to make out the shape. Following that came an arm, the top of a hooded head and broad shoulders. Squirming fear and excitement filled Sarah's body. Its formation was downright magical. Its body, though pure ebony, shone as though a spotlight were following. Its edges gleamed, leaving out all the details and middle parts.

All of this did little to truly frighten Sarah. Her pounding blood was not from anguish nor her sweat from terror, so she gave it a wan smile -her nerves jittered from ideas she did not know the possibility of- and gingerly struggled her arm out of the blankets, holding her hand in her lap. The body grew closer and closer bit by bit, shrouded further by a hoodie and sweatpants made of the same obsidian. If not larger than Sarah by height, than by bulk. Its transformation seemed to finish after mere minutes, but each second was a shot of exhilaration into her veins, clouding the seconds so they felt like hours. A wide jack-o-lantern mouth was the only distinguishing feature of its "face", Its head melded within its hood. It could be butter against her fingertips. It could be a ghost's promise, cold and wispy, or it could feel like something else entirely. Her fingers itched to know.

"Oh, um..." Sarah stammered out, cheeks flushing. "Hi..."

It cocked its head and leaned in some inches, that jagged, black pit of a mouth beckoning Sarah's stare. The ceiling spun behind it. "Hello, dear."

Sarah nearly shot up, clamping the response down just as quick. "You talk!" Right after the words flew out of her mouth Sarah cringed into the bed, praying to God she hadn't just insulted the being.

The creature tsked. "I didn't want to scare you. You have been a fun thing during the past months." It -she? the voice was distinctly female, although very deep in tone- chuckled.  "I must say, I certainly wasn't expecting our first words to be..." Her hand traveled up Sarah's leg, the claws tracing its outline. Even through the blankets they were sharp enough to leave a burning trail. A throaty hmm had Sarah blinking in embarrassment. "You're sooo interesting. I didn't think you'd be so eager to see me." She paused, visage unchanging, not giving Sarah any clue as to her thoughts. Another pair of claws brushed over her other leg. Heat seared the skin and Sarah instinctively clenched up, only to be mortified by the realization that her underwear was very, very wet. Sarah couldn't hide the wide-eyed look she gave to her Guest. "Oh, sweety." Her claws tapped, tapped, tapped against Sarah's thigh. "Why did you call me tonight?"

Sarah swallowed. "To show you appreciation. And to learn to not be afraid of your shadows."

The Guest rumbled, a low, calming sound that weaved its way to the very core of Sarah's soul. "I think," she purred, hand coming up to grab Sarah's wrist, "I can help with both tonight." The Guest's hand was warm. It was satin, wrapping and slipping around skin. Occasionally small pockets stuck to Sarah's hand, feeling so much like tiny suckers. Sarah brought her other hand out only for the Guest to snatch it. With one hand she held both of Sarah's aloft, inching them above the woman's head. Sarah could have whined if the notion weren't so embarrassing. She did, however, rub her thighs to feel the slick smear. With her other hand, the Guest pulled the blankets back with ease. As she did, it seemed the darkness surrounding her form moved, too. She held them just above Sarah's crotch and Sarah could do nothing but lay there in agony, blushing at the guest's light chuckle. "Look at you. It's an honor you're so..." She took a heady "breath", then laughed again. "You're going to be such a good little toy, aren't you?"

Sarah bucked up, gasping and writhing at the rush of fire blowing through her nerves. She bit her lip, nearly crying out "Yes, yes I'll be good." The thought made her cheeks pink, but it was all she wanted.

The Guest trailed a claw down Sarah's stomach. "No words? It's okay, dear. I want to hear your pretty sounds. I want everything."

At that Sarah did cry out. She whined and sputtered promises to behave. The blanket was removed completely, exposing her heated skin to the cool night air. "Please," she groaned, twisting her wrists in the Guest's grasp. "Please touch me!"

Those claws dragged across sensitive skin, drawing whimpers and a rush of wet. The Guest shuffled down so that ragged mouth hovered over Sarah's poor, tortured vulva. Staring through ecstasy-filled fog, Sarah almost didn't comprehend the protrusion sliding out from behind her "teeth". It was long and shadowy, glistening with the same light covering the rest of her body, only this gloss moved. It dripped from the appendage, thin as thread. Those threads wrapped around each other, tasting, searching.

Oh, Sarah thought. It's a tongue.

Its tip tapered while the bulky base held ridges standing at attention. The very sight of it wrung moans from parted lips. Guest leaned down, one hand on Sarah's wrists, the other circling her thigh. Before Sarah's eyes, her shape changed. From the sides grew two bulges, nearly imperceptible, but they kept growing. Lumps expanding out, and from those lumps sharp ends sprouted like the branches on a tree. It wasn't till Guest was finished that Sarah could tell she'd sprouted extra arms. With two free hands, Guest latched onto Sarah's side and slid her hands under Sarah's shirt, pinning her down. Sarah bucked again and again, sobbing, but to no avail. Those smooth, sucker-covered hands flicked her nipples, sending jolts of pleasure which Sarah took greedily. "Harder," she whined.

One of the Guest's suckers crept over flesh till it poised directly above her nipple, then they dropped to the skin and sucked. They sucked while those claws worked the skin of Sarah's breasts, leaving nothing but a writhing mess in their wake. Finally, finally, Sarah thought. She stopped paying attention to the Guest's movements, stopped knowing anything but the overwhelming desire blazing in her soul. And so she didn't notice when the Guest inched that tongue further out, but she definitely noticed when it swiped over her wet panties. Only once, before moving to circle her privates. It was slimier than her hands, but that slime was alive. Strands brushed over delicate nodes, sucked tiny hickies where no one else could see. Sarah's back arched through the air and her chest shook. When the Guest decided Sarah's suffering was stretched and made pitiful enough, the Guest slid that tongue over the thin panties covering Sarah's poor hole. "Good toy," she purred. Her tongue slid under the cloth, taunting, and suddenly wrapped itself like a glove around the entire thing. Strands got to work fast. Everywhere, all at once Sarah felt herself being touched. She cried out as suckers latched onto her clit. She clutched at the hands holding her when a multitude of tentacles trailed towards her hole, prodding the entrance with curiosity. A fire burned in her stomach, blazing and bright. It ran hotter, hotter. She felt as though she would burst.

"Guest, please!" Sarah begged. The tongue plunged into her hole, wiggling against soft flesh and stretching her walls in ways that had her curling her toes. The suckers on her clit began moving, Sarah's vision exploded with stars. That fire burned impossibly high, Sarah didn't know how long she'd last. "I've be-en a g-good toy, please!" Her breath came in short gasps, pushing the words out, they were her only hope.

The Guest trilled. "Don't worry honey, I'll take care of you."

She didn't let up. Sarah threw her head back, the movements only getting faster and harder. Her fire reached its tipping point when the Guest wrapped a second tongue around her throat. The added hold had Sarah screaming her finish. The room filled with the sound of her voice and the growls of the Guest. It shook with the force of their passion. By the time Sarah had come down from her high, she was sure several neighbors were thoroughly furious. The Guest unraveled herself from Sarah and delicately ran a claw through her hair. Sarah smiled and nuzzled into it. "We should do that again sometimes," she murmured.

The guest snorted. "Not tonight. You'd break." The way she said it, Sarah wasn't sure her breaking would be a bad thing. "Another night." The Guest's form snuggled into the sheets, pushing into Sarah's side. They wrapped around each other. The goal was a success, Sarah thought. She felt no fear, and she knew, for sure, that she wanted to see more. But, as the Guest said, that would have to wait for another night.

[blushweddinggowns]

Eddie rubbed at his temples, a headache starting to set in. Whether that was from blood loss or the insanely loud alarm that was still blaring in this hell hole, he wasn’t sure. 

Steve was fussing over him, despite how many times Eddie insisted he was fine. He was bleeding, yes, but they all were in some way or another. Yeah, the bite wounds hurt like a bitch, but he wasn’t dying, he knew what that felt like, and in comparison this was nothing. Steve’s frustrated tears were more painful than the claw marks anyway.

“Stevie, I’ll be okay, really-”

“Just shut up,” he hissed, or at least tried too. It came out more like a sad little sniffle, “What the fuck where you thinking?”

Eddie didn’t really have an answer for that. He hadn’t been thinking, critical thought had basically left his brain the second they stepped foot into this place. He had just moved, pushing Steve right out of the way of the bigger and better stream of demon bats, spilling out of another brand new hell portal.

Only a few of them managed to sink their teeth into him before El got it closed, and Steve and Hopper managed to pull them off before any real damage could get through. Maybe that was the one good thing about this place, flying monsters were a lot easier to handle in closed corridors, especially when you had a psychic wunderkind with you.

“It’s called being chivalrous babe,” Eddie tried, wiping a few of Steve’s tears away. Steve leaned into his hand, always willing to accept Eddie’s touch, even when his hands were covered in filth. 

Steve glared as he nuzzled into his hand, probably resisting the urge to choke him out, as he examined his bloody chest,“And it’s going to get you killed.”

He wanted to tell Steve the truth, that it didn’t matter if he died as long as Steve and the kids made it out alive. That he didn’t care if they’d only been together a few months, he refused to live in a world without Steve in it. He wanted to tell him he loved him, that dying for him would never be off the table, but the already devastated look on Steve’s face was enough to make Eddie hold his tongue. 

And…it felt like if he admitted everything out loud, it would be accepting the idea that they weren’t making it out of here. Eddie shrugged,“Still worth it.”

Steve was just about done with his haphazard first-aid, and Eddie took the opportunity to lean his pounding head against Steve’s, frankly nasty, shoulder, shuddering at the gross squelch sound it made. Steve’s clothes were completely saturated in Upside Down bullshit, but it's not like his hair could get anymore disgusting, and any kind of touch was comforting, for both of them. 

They were safe, for now. As safe as you could be when facing the end of the world and cooped up in a glorified storage closet in an underground government facility. He hated this place, and he’d hate it even if it wasn’t invaded by monsters. How El managed to grow up in these sterile, lifeless halls and come out the other side how she was, he had no idea. 

Eddie watched the others as Steve wrapped the last make-shift bandage around his chest. Will was fiddling with the radio, trying to get an update on Dustin’s side, while Hopper was cleaning the blood from Eleven's face, and Dr. What's his fuck was babbling to both of them, a plan on the edge of forming. Joyce was wrapping up Hopper’s leg, the blood still seeping through her clumsy efforts. 

How Eddie and Steve became the lucky ones to be in the literal maw of the monster, he didn’t know. One minute they were accepting a nice dinner invite to the Byers’ place, more than happy to help Joyce and Hopper start the whole being gay is okay conversation with Will and Eleven. Eddie never thought that he would be considered a role model for the burgeoning bi-curious youth of Hawkins, but he’d take it. And if he had to guess, Steve was supposed to be the star of that show but he was more than happy to be his leading man. 

And then the next they were watching literal demons start escaping from the cracks in the earth. Maybe it shouldn’t have been so shocking, Venca had never disappeared after all, not really. But Eleven had gone after him, in that weird psychic way that Eddie still didn’t fully understand, and she had said she found him, didn’t kill him, but did enough damage to free Max’s soul. 

She had woken up, screaming her brains out, but she had woken up. And that had been enough. 

Vecna had slinked away into the shadows, no monsters to be found, but the presence was still there, trickling into their world at a snail’s pace. El didn’t know what to do about it, she didn’t even know if she could kill him, she had barely managed to save Max, and that was without him having a physical body anymore. 

So they waited, what else could they do? And they got a year, a great fucking year in Eddie’s opinion, the best year of his life. And just like that they were facing the end of the world again. At least things were clearer this time around. 

Two things. Kill Vecna and hide Max. Neither had been as easy as they’d hoped. 

“Will, do you copy? Are you there?” Dustin’s crackling voice asked, the radio finally getting through. 

Everyone’s head immediately swiveled, anxious for an update. 

“Yes!” Will gasped into the receiver, “We’re here, are you all okay?”

Dustin paused, “We’re all alive? Did you find him?”

“We found him, but…it’s bad.”

Eddie almost laughed at that, bad was the understatement of the century. The piece of shit had gone completely insane, cooped up in the creepiest playroom that Eddie had ever seen. Which was saying something considering how unhinged Vecna was to begin with. Something had happened to him since the last time, and all of those detailed plans and fancy words had been replaced with complete chaos and disarray. They weren’t even sure if he was in control of his powers anymore, not when gateways would open and shut randomly, some even shutting before his monsters could get out. Eddie never thought he would see a demogorgon decapitated by a closing portal, but here he was.

Now, it didn’t even seem like he cared if he lived or died. He didn’t even seem like a he anymore, just a malevolent force of rage and hate, that was losing control on every level. The hive mind was fracturing, the monsters easily agitated and distracted, which was one point in their favor. They were all barely hanging on as it was, Eddie didn’t even want to think about what it would be like if all these things could think beyond killing. 

“But you guys can still kill him right?” Dustin asked, panic edging in his voice.

Will bit his lip, hesitating, “He’s protected by all those things, I don’t-”

El shook her head, hastily sitting next to Will to take the receiver, “I can still do it.”

Joyce and Hopper glanced at each other, looking just as lost as the rest of them felt. Joyce stepped forward, trying to be gentle with her words, “Sweetheart, you’re too weak-”

“So is he,” El interrupted, “I can feel it,”

“You can’t take him and all of those things at once!” Hopper insisted, kneeling down to her level, shaking her the slightest bit in his desperation, “He’ll kill you!”

“If he wins, we will all die.”

“But-”

“But could you just take him?” Steve asked, cutting through the noise. Everyone turned to stare at him, confused. 

El nodded, “I can kill him.”

“But just him?”

“I…I do not know,” she admitted, looking away.

“So they just need to be separated, right?” Steve pressed, “If you can get him alone, then we have a chance.”

Eddie stared at him, catching on to what he was getting at, his stupid, smart, self-sacrifing Steve.

“Divide and conquer,” Eddie breathed, catching on,“You want to distract them.”

Steve shrugged, “I’m the fastest runner out of all of us. A few gun shots, a look at me, they’d all come running.”

It was definitely possible. Ever since those demons had come back they were remarkably easy to distract, always focused on eating the closest living thing to them. It could work. It could be their best shot. 

But Eddie didn’t give a shit if it meant Steve dying, “They’d rip you apart!”

“Not necessarily,” Owens piped up, “This place held psychic children for years, there are places to hide.”

He fished into his pocket, pulling out the keycard he’d been using since they got here, “There’s a room, where they used to do the most dangerous experiments. The glass is bulletproof, government grade. I’m not sure it will be enough, but it’s your best shot.”

Steve nodded, a determined look on his face. Eddie knew that look, it meant that there was no talking him out of it. 

Well two could play at that game. 

Owens was still going, a solid plan starting to form around Steve’s idea,“When they start chasing you-”

“Us” Eddie interrupted, staggering to his feet, “When they start chasing us.”

Steve stood with him, brow furrowed, “Eddie-”

“Don’t even fucking try,” Eddie hissed out, snatching the keycard from Owen’s hands, “I’m coming with you.”

He was hurt, sure, but it was mostly surface level, and his legs were probably the least mauled thing about him. Steve looked ready to argue, but shut his mouth at the look on Eddie’s face. 

He turned to the group instead, “We’ll be the decoys. They come after us, and you go after him.”

No one seemed particularly happy with the plan, but it’s not like they had a choice. Hopper gave them the pistol strapped to his hip, grumbling, “You’re both too young to be doing this shit.”

Eddie shrugged, not really having an answer for that. In fact, he completely agreed. This was the last place on the planet that any of them should be in. 

“Go down the hall, one shot. Then back, two lefts. Then swipe the card on the right. It will lock automatically,” Owens instructed, going as far as to write it on Steve’s hand, “If we win, they should die with him and we’ll come get you.”

They left the room after that, not wasting any time as they quietly made their way down the hall, hearts thumping in their chests. They could hear them as they got closer, the collective sound of the hoard breathing, standing guard. 

They stopped at the corner, the last hiding spot before they could be seen. 

“You ready?” Eddie whispered, glancing at Steve. 

Steve shook his head, biting his lip before grabbing the front of Eddie’s shirt, dragging him into a bruising kiss. It tasted like monster blood and Steve, and was probably the most disgusting kiss he’d ever had. 

And he never wanted it to stop. 

Steve let him go, too soon, with a sad smile, “Now I am.”

They stepped out together, Eddie covering his ears as the shot rang out. It was a blur after that. Neither of them looked back as they sprinted down the hall, but they could hear screeching behind them, and the ugly noise of talons hitting linoleum. 

Eddie had never run that fast in his entire life, but they both made it, slamming the door shut behind them. It was only a few seconds before the monsters rounded the corner, immediately jumping against the door and clear windows, their claws screeching against the glass. 

“I told you the morning runs were going to be worth it,” Steve gasped out between breaths, hands on his knees. 

Eddie nodded, eyes skimming over the still standing glass. It was the first time Eddie could really look at the things and they were heinous. Wet, slimy skin, rows of teeth that spanned on forever, all salivating as they pressed against the glass, the shrieking never stopping. 

The noise was only gathering more of them to the same place, and Eddie didn’t doubt that they had gotten all of them, not when he was looking out into a sea of demons. 

The minutes passed, ten, twenty, thirty, with the well of monsters attacking the glass never stopping. How long did a world-altering final showdown take?

Then he heard it, the first crack. The glass was fucking breaking, government-grade his ass. The second wasn’t too far behind, but this time paired with visible lines, crawling across the surface. 

He could feel Steve’s hand slip into his, squeezing as their eyes stayed glued on the hoard of monsters. The hoard of monsters that was probably seconds away from getting to them. 

Steve tightened his grip on Eddie’s hand, grimacing, “I think we’re going to die.”

Eddie shook his head, ignoring the tears that were already starting to gather in the corners of his eyes,“Baby, we’re not going to die-”

Another cracking sound, more and more fractures making themselves known. Steve was pulling at his hand, hard, hard enough to make him face him. 

He was fucked up, they both were, bleeding from different claw marks and bites, covered in the black blood of those monsters, and the red of their own. 

He looked resigned, resigned but determined, “I love you. I’m so fucking in love with you, it’s terrifying.”

They both flinched at another loud crack, more and more spider web lines skittering across the glass. Fuck, Steve was right, they were gonna die. Three months. He had only had him for three fucking months.

Eddie put his shaking hands on Steve’s shoulders, staring into those big brown eyes, “I love you too, of course I love you. You were the best thing that ever fucking happened to me."

The tears were flowing now, for both of them, no stopping it.

Steve rested his forehead against Eddie’s, voice shaking, "I wish I could have spent my life with you,” 

It wasn’t fair, none of this shit was fair. They didn’t deserve this, Steve didn’t deserve this. All that fighting, for years, just to die in this pit? 

“The next one,” Eddie managed to gasp out in between his tears, “If there’s anything after this, I’m going to find you, understand me?”

Steve smiled, somehow still managing to look devastatingly beautiful underneath all that filth, and that just made Eddie want to cry harder, “You swear?”

“I swear.”

And then they were kissing, what else could they do? Eddie closed his eyes as their lips met, if he was going to die, he wanted Steve to be the last thing he saw. 

It didn’t take long for the glass to finally shatter, flying in all directions. Eddie could feel the air move, could feel them all scrambling towards them, eager to get the first bite.

He kept his eyes screwed shut, and kissed Steve harder as they both went down. He didn’t want to see it, never wanted to even imagine watching the man he loved be torn apart. 

He felt long teeth sink into his ribs, the pain sharp and stinging. He waited for the next bite, heart in his throat as he tried to mentally prepare to be eaten alive, again.

But then…nothing. He could hear the sound of bodies falling over each other, the scrape of talons on the tile, but that was all. Seconds passed, enough time for Eddie to snap his eyes open, in disbelief that he was still in one piece. He clutched at Steve, relief flooding him when he was staring back. He was bleeding from a scratch on the head from their fall, and a monster had sunk their teeth into his calf, deep but not deep enough where he couldn’t walk.

Dozens of bodies surrounded them, and besides the two limp creatures they had to pry away from their skin, none had gotten the chance to reach them. They both clung together as they looked around. The things weren’t just dead, they were disintegrating, disappearing into floating dust. 

"W-we're not dead?" Steve asked out loud, like he couldn’t really believe it, “Holy shit, we aren’t dead!”

Eddie could barely believe it either, but on the off chance this was some near death hallucination, he wasn’t going to waste it. He grabbed Steve’s face, kissing every dirty inch of it, “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“I love you too,” Steve gasped out, somewhere between a laugh and a sob,“Are you okay?” 

Eddie nodded, ignoring the oozing bite on his side. In comparison to what could have happened, that was nothing. They helped each other up, both a bit wobbly from blood loss and still shocked at the fact they survived.

They heard them before they saw them, footsteps getting louder and louder from the hallway. He could hear Will talking into the walkie, probably trying to calm Dustin down, “We’re going now!” 

The group rounded the corner, all of them looking worse for wear, but they were all there, and that’s what mattered. 

“They’re alive! I told you they would be fine!” Will’s face didn’t match the confidence in his voice, the kid looked like he was ten seconds away from crying in relief, and the rest weren’t far behind. Eddie wasn’t quite sure, but he could almost swear he heard Dustin and Robin sobbing through the receiver with the rest of them, a few insults mixed in with their happy tears. 

They told them everything on the way to the hospital. El won, all of them lived, and the hell known as the Upside Down was gone for good. There were some more details in there, sure, but Eddie wasn’t listening fully, too busy being grateful to be alive and trying to wrap up Steve’s leg in the back of the van.

He got the broad strokes, what else did he need? 

The hospital was a mess, but by some miracle there were enough beds for everyone. Half of them had to stay overnight, the other half longer, but they were all still alive, somehow. 

It was hours later, Eddie was sitting up in his hospital bed, staring out the window. He couldn’t really sleep without Steve on a good day, but on the day they almost died together? No shot. Even if he was fully aware that everything, and everyone was fine, Eddie was stuck, staring into nothingness. 

He missed Steve, which was stupid considering he’d seen him an hour ago, but he still did. He wondered what he was doing now, only a few rooms away, and he wondered even more if he could get away with sneaking to his room. The staff was beyond busy, maybe no one would notice?

Eddie startled when he heard a knock on his door, too lost in thought with his silly plans. It was late, and the nurses didn’t knock. He perked up a little, already hopeful for it could be, "Come in?"

He grinned as he watched Steve slip inside, still in his own hospital gown. He limped over to the bed, sitting on the edge with an apologetic smile,"Did I wake you?"

“Not even a little,” Eddie said, deciding that he was too far away. He grabbed for his arm, mindful of his bandages, as he pulled him into his lap, his favorite place to be, “You’ve ruined me Harrington, I can’t sleep without you anymore.”

Steve gave a quiet laugh, relaxing in Eddie’s arms, “Me either.”

His presence was like a magic switch had been flipped, and suddenly Eddie could feel the exhaustion from the last forty-eight hours seep in. He kept Steve close to his chest, avoiding his side as he laid them down, one on top of the other. 

Eddie kept a hand in Steve’s hair, playing with the strands as they whispered to each other, “Hate being away from you.”

Steve smiled, pressing his mouth to Eddie’s collarbone in a half-kiss, too tired to give him the real thing, muttering against him,“Today fucking sucked.”

“It did, didn't it? But there’s nothing but up from here baby.”

Steve hummed against him, his eyes fluttering closed as he whispered, “I love you.”

Eddie would never get tired of hearing that. He’d never get tired of saying it. Here he was, a drug-dealing, high-school dropout who had almost been eaten alive twice, who had Steve Harrington love him. 

It made him feel like the luckiest man on the planet. 

He was still petting Steve’s hair, tired but a touch too happy to fall asleep yet,“Y’know, I had a big romantic plan for telling you that for the first time.”

Steve opened up one eye, peering up at Eddie with sleepy interest, “Really?”

“Mmhm, I was going to make you dinner-”

Steve tried to hold in, but a laugh still managed to slip out,“You were going to make me dinner?

Eddie rolled his eyes, the guy knew him too well, “Okay, I was going to pay Nancy to make you dinner and take credit for it.”

Steve grinned, both eyes open now as he listened,“Go on.”

“I was gonna pack it up, drive us out to Lover’s Lake at night, do some stargazing. There’s supposed to be a meteor shower in a few weeks, was gonna do it then. Adds to the romance.”

Eddie omitted the part where he was going to wish for Steve to say it back, ready to take up superstitions he didn’t even believe in for a chance for this man to love him. He went on, his voice dropping the slightest bit, “Would have brought a bunch of blankets and pillows, make the van all comfy before I fucked you nice and slow.”

Steve licked his lips, cheeks pink as he stared up at him, lovestruck, "And then what?”

“Was gonna wait right before you came. You always make the prettiest face when you’re on the verge, I’d be able to tell. Was gonna whisper it in your ear, watch as it sunk in while you fell over the edge,” Eddue kissed the top of his head, teasing, “But then you had to ruin it with your near death confession.”

Steve gave a small laugh at that, but he was breathing a little faster, clutching onto Eddie a little tighter as he spoke, “You know…if I were you, I wouldn’t let that plan go quite yet.”

Eddie smirked, “No?”

“Nope. In fact, consider this a verbal contract. You have to do it now."

“If you insist.”

“I really, really do.”

They grinned at each other like idiots, the exhaustion of the day finally doing them both in. Now that he had Steve tucked next to him, Eddie was more than ready to let sleep take them away. He was so close to passing out he almost didn’t hear it, Steve whispering into his skin, “I still like our version more.”

Eddie smiled, answering before finally letting sleep take him, “Me too.”

[wanderingchocolateeclair]

May I introduce my Space Rangers AU, just a teeny tiny bit?

At least- some initial doodles including some designs for it-

While there are a lot of other characters that have fun designs and backstories for this au, these four (+ Rusty) are the main focus for now-

They're space experiments, escapees from A.F.O (not the person), an organisation that experiments and tries to create perfect beings using solar and lunar energy extracted from suns and moons!

Brief character info:

PL:

Was stolen as a child from Earth and experimented on, ended up busting out and saving a bunch of the other kids.

Took them to Yuuei (a built up safe haven for all, home of the space rangers)

Ended up going on some adventures with Ecto, who was now his best friend that would tag along with anything.

Became a ranger captain and eventually built a crew with Ecto

They accept odd jobs and commissions, no matter the manner of them, and get money through them (+occasionally thieving things)

He ends up rescuing and breaking out more experiments from different A.F.O bases, and takes them to Yuuei for safety.

Rescued Rusty, who was in the animal space trade, and now looks after him and treasures him.

Hes about 70% space rock and metal and random alien blood at this point-

Loves to visit earth to get the snacks there.

Ecto:

Was a royal from a planet with constantly shifting gravity, so his body allows him to just kinda switch his own sense of gravity around if that makes sense-

(he can just vibe on the ceiling whenever he wants lol)

Also has this shadowy bone demon that lives within him/as part of him.

Got stolen and his planet kinda got wiped out, and off he went to go get experimented on.

He was supposed to be 'scrapped' but survived bc of Higari.

They made friends with each other when still young, Higari saved Ecto from being killed and he helped him break out.

Ever since then, he stuck with him and became a ranger with him (also ended up falling for him and becoming a huge mess about it)

He really likes the sweets that Higari gets him from Earth.

Tsunagu:

From an ancient civilisation that is now long gone, his entire kind was wiped out after him and a other kids got stolen by A.F.O.

Was part of the original experiments carried out by the actual AFO(person) before Tsunagu kinda went rogue, killed him, destroyed the original base and fled.

He is OLD as fuck.

He would qualify as a "royal" but wouldn't use that title, as within his civilisation they were all perceived as noble beings.

He can shapeshift, never shows his natural form due to insecurities with how he was experimented on, and trust issues.

The experiment on him went VERY wrong, and he was accidentally injected with the Solar energy of an ancient Celestial Solar Being :]

It inhabits his being and goes rogue sometimes. It is searching for its "Home", which happens to be its other half - an ancient lunar being <3

He is dangerous and grouchy as hell, but has a sense of humour deep down.

Also met Higari and his crew by being broken out of jail by him and now constantly relies on him to break him out of jail. Very often.

He's a captain of his own ship and crew.

Shinya:

Was stolen from earth quite a long time ago as a baby and not only experimented on, but raised by the scientists.

He was brainwashed and all that jazz to become one of their "higher functioning mercenaries".

He aided in their schemes and killing for quite the long time until he was sent on a mission out to earth.

This didn't go well, and he ended up losing all of his memory to do with A.F.O and space and only knew the information he was given to fit in: "Shinya Kamihara, age 33, scientist and medic for space exploration"

He came back out to space on an expedition and it went wrong, he got stranded with important dangerous stuff, and eventually gets helped by Higari and his crew and meets Tsunagu.

The rest is all a very long plot. He has to find out who he was and is.

He has hidden markings from his experiment mercenary days, and only certain circumstances/equipment/technology can reveal it.

He also, mirroring Tsunagu's predicament, is the host for the Celestial Lunar Being that is searching for it's home.

:)

Rusty:

The Bestest Boy

Is a Space Travelling Dinosaur

He is small, very huggable, and likes to eat seeds and nuts and occasionally anything else thats handed to him.

Rescued by Higari from being traded in the space trade.

He can blow lil sparkly galaxy bubbles from his nose-beak-thing, and step on them if he wants to.

He is The Best Space Ranger.

[blazehedgehog]

Once again thinking about how advertising shifted from a small group of selected individuals who would rate, approve, and distribute a limited number advertisements on TV, radio and in print and how the modern "anyone can make an advertisement for anything and put it anywhere" completely destroyed the market.

In theory advertisements aren't bad. I mean there are still a great number of people who loudly and proudly declare they only watch the Super Bowl because marketing agencies spend big bucks on funny, interesting advertisements. There were scenarios where advertisements were acceptable and even enjoyable!

But not anymore. Since a person can register for Google Adsense and slap as many ads on a thing as they want to, the more desperate and sleazy among us decided to fill entire pages with ads. The value of a single advertisement bottomed out, as instead of guaranteeing a viewer's undivided attention, websites started being lit up like the Las Vegas strip. Memorable ads suddenly matter less than whatever's the most simple and flashy.

The side effect, the thing that I'm actually thinking about today, is how little advertising matters to me now. The only ads that ever actually command a single iota of my attention are the most annoying things: websites with "sign up for our mailing list!" pop-ups, or when I go dumpster diving on my Roku and find a streaming app that plays ads every 90 seconds, or when a news website is covered in "SUBSCRIBE TO OUR PREMIUM SERVICE" banners in every corner (or limits how much you can read before paying).

The only ads I remember are the ones that feel like a punishment.

To the point where, on a website that actually tries to show an acceptable number of advertisements, my brain has been automatically trained to ignore them. I don't even see them. I was using the tumblr app five minutes ago on my phone and I can't tell you what the ads were. I salted the earth for those neurons in my brain. That kind of mental spite is a reflex for me now. The rest of the internet has made me so resistant to all forms of the most annoying, forceful, attention-grabbing advertising that it will probably never work on me ever again for as long as I live.

But I can still recite the Toys'R'Us song by heart. It's been more than twenty years since its debut and people still remember the McDonalds "I'm Lovin' It" jingle.

...Actually, I'm so inoculated to modern advertising I had to double check whether or not McDonalds even still uses "I'm Lovin' It" because I cannot remember having seen a McDonalds advertisement in a very long time.

I suppose my ultimate point in all of this is never feel obligated to watch ads. Never feel guilty for using an adblocker. When that website says "We noticed you're blocking our ads, please turn it off" there is no law that says you have to (if they try to force you, a quick google search will probably solve that).

Always remember you are the victim of their circumstance, not the other way around.

[creature-wizard]

The New Age concept of ascension - what is it?

The concept of ascension is central to New Age belief, so you'll hear New Agers talking about it a lot. So what is it?

New Agers essentially believe that it's humanity's destiny to undergo "spiritual evolution" to a next level of existence. At this point in time, the popular belief is that our DNA - or at least the DNA of those who "download" "DNA upgrades" from Source will "shift to 5D" in the near future.

Despite its name, "5D" has nothing to do with mathematical dimensions. Instead, New Agers believe that matter exists in varying states of density, and the fifth density is essentially more ethereal than "3D," or the third density, which we presently live in.

Ascension is functionally the Christian rapture with a eugenicist twist. Where Rapture-believing Christians believe that if you'll spontaneously be translated to spirit form if you convert to (the right kind of) Christianity, New Agers believe that you'll essentially be spontaneously translated to spirit form if you get close enough to God, or Source.

Some people believe that New Agers don't think they have to do any work to ascend - but this really isn't true. Most of them that I've seen believe that they have to "raise their vibrational frequency" so they can connect to Source energy and receive these "downloads." It's functionally the same idea that in order to go to Heaven, you have to get right with God.

So what are the problems?

First of all, it's spiritual eugenics. They effectively believe that people who practice their form of spirituality literally have superior genetics to those who don't. Many believe that it's just nature, fate, God's will, or whatever you want to call it, that those who don't or can't "upgrade" will essentially die off.

Because New Age doesn't have any central authority, beliefs surrounding this vary wildly, and there are relatively benign beliefs about what ascension will entail; EG, Earth will split into two timelines - one where the people who ascended get to live, and one where the people who didn't ascend get to keep reincarnating until they finally do get to ascend and join the other Earth.

Unfortunately, there are also those who believe that climate change is not a man-made phenomena, but rather is part of Earth's ascension process (they believe that Earth is going to ascend to 5D, too), and that related deaths are meant to purge the world of the unevolved.

Another concerning belief is that of "ascension symptoms," where symptoms that could potentially be very medically concerning are dismissed as a natural part of the ascension process. Couple this with a strong mistrust of actual medicine and real doctors (New Age is tied up in conspiracy theories of all kinds), and you've got a recipe for disaster.

One other thing the idea of ascension has in common with the Rapture is the number of times it's been supposed to happen, but failed to materialize. Lots of New Agers expected it to happen on December 21st, 2012. When it didn't, many rationalized it by saying that a consciousness shift had still taken place, and that this consciousness shift was important in preparing the world for actual ascension later on. Basically, it was pretty typical failed prophecy rationalization stuff.

New Agers continue to draw in people who are simply unaware of the movement's long, long history of failed predictions. The average person isn't going to go back and comb through 50+ years of New Age literature to see just how long they've been making extravagant predictions that just never manifest, let alone realize that all of these other failed predictions means the current predictions aren't all that likely to come true, either. If someone looks into it, there's a high chance they'll accept the rationalizations and believe that the predictions actually apply to their own near future, because "your generation is the special generation" is a powerful ego trap.

So yeah, in a nutshell, ascension is just the Rapture for people who believe in spiritual eugenics; and just like the regular Rapture, it has a long history of being involved in failed predictions.