#it still took me 6 more hours after finishing to finally come down from it! i hope i never experience that again ;_;

[yanguazalie]

🐲Year of the Dragon! 🐲

Starring the characters with the English voice actors born in said year!

Character close-ups I made for Instagram are under the cut-

[earthtooz]

x : AFTERGLOW :*+ﾟ it's all me, just don't go !

in which: rin doesn't realise what he has until it's gone. now that you're gone, he will do anything to get you back.

warnings: 5.2k wc, ANGST TO FLUFF, breakup, toxic relationship towards the beginning, rin is really mean to gn!reader, hopeful ending, rin is devastatingly in love and pathetic, reader and rin are adults + he's a soccer player, other characters make an appearance and are friends with reader, mentions of throwing up, mentions of food, both reader and rin cry, just listen to taylor swift's 'afterglow'.

a/n: FINALLY, THIS FIC THAT I STARTED ALL THE WAY BACK IN APRIL IS DONE. GOODNESS. i have mixed feelings towards this piece, but i cannot withhold it from the world any longer. i'm going to forget i ever wrote this and move on! this literally took three drafts to finish.

you don’t know when your relationship with itoshi rin began to crumble since it isn’t an event that can be pinpointed, not a date that can be marked in your calender, and most certainly not a reminder you can set in your phone. 

your friends keep telling you that you need to think back on it, that although it hurts, it was a necessary step in healing and getting over him. the more you reflect on it, however, your heart would only shatter into more fragments, with each one piercing you with the memories of better times. 

when did his expression turn sour? when did he begin looking at you with such disdain? when did he decide he didn’t need you anymore?

when did rin’s chips of insecurity wedge themselves between you?

the only memory that serves as an answer occurred at 7:00 pm one regular night. if you think hard enough, you can remember how the plush couch cushions sank under your weight, the clicks of the clock that had a second hand minutely too fast, and the sinking feeling of premonition in your gut. 

the latest rin ever comes back is 6:00, and if not, he would have let you known why he wasn’t home.

so where was he? the takeout you bought for dinner is getting cold and your stomach is growing louder and more impatient by the second. you didn’t want to eat without him though since it’s something you did daily; eating together as a way of debriefing and letting go of the stress that the day brought.

after an onslaught of unanswered phone calls from you, at 7:15, rin merely texts a ‘won’t be home for a while. eat without me’, and although rin was naturally curt and straightforward, the text had a depravity of… him, somehow. either way, his message causes a swirl of emotions in your stomach; unpleasant ones that begin to grow a nauseous shade of green.

you put rin’s takeaway in the fridge regardless, sending him a quick text telling him to be safe and that you’ll see him soon. 

he probably got caught up with something. you’re sure it’ll be fine. 

you shouldn’t have ignored that sinking feeling of premonition. shouldn’t have pushed down the unease swirling in your stomach when shutting the door to the refrigerator before stalking over to the kitchen island with slow steps as you prepare to eat in silence. no one to keep you company except your own thoughts and the ghost of rin’s presence.

and when rin does come home almost two hours later, he stills calls your name as usual, you still go to him as usual, he greets you with a tired smile as usual, you hug him as usual, he doesn’t kiss the top of your forehead, though. you ignore it, pushing your thoughts aside because he was home. he finally came back. you’ll wake up tomorrow and this uneasy feeling will sort itself out.

except it doesn’t.  

from that night onwards, rin changes. slowly, but surely, the cracks of change manifest in your relationship and through it all, you choose to cast a blind eye, plastering over it with sightless belief in your love. 

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

the queasy feeling in your gut never stills. it fades at times when your mind is busy with other things, but it inevitably gets drawn back into the whirlpool of concern regarding your lover- or, rather, rin.

you think you’re still in a relationship, but you don’t really know anymore. you haven’t seen him in a while. the only indication of his existence that you get are the stray bowls he leaves on the kitchen counter whenever he’s done eating, the lessening weight of his protein powder containers, and the decrease of various food items from the fridge that you restock here and there.

it feels like you’re living with a ghost.

some nights, when it gets the most lonely, your mind betrays you, completely eliminating any and all trust you had in rin. 

you wonder if there’s another person. another lover that he feels more passionately for. another lover that his heart had gravitated towards, abandoning yours in the process. perhaps that is the explanation behind his absence. 

but no evidence points towards that conclusion. there has been no suspicious deduction of bills from his bank statement that would suggest infidelity, his location is constantly at the sports stadium whenever you check, and there are no traces of a lover on him- not even you. 

it is not totally blasphemous to assume that itoshi rin wouldn’t be engrossed in soccer to the point that he’d spend unhealthy and obsessive hours into honing his abilities, but it feels a little traitorous that he could forget about life outside of the sport. it isn’t just you he’s neglecting. his mother and father have been constantly asking when he’ll come over to spend some time together, his teammates have been asking you about rin’s whereabouts and when he’ll be free and what’s worse is that you never know how to answer every time. 

it’s embarrassing to be seen as a lover that is forgettable enough for rin to dismiss, so you lie and lie and lie, telling everyone that you’ll tell them later, that he’s fine and just busy, and you lie to yourself. you tell yourself that rin will be home soon so you two can talk about it, and then everything will return to normal.

(your reflection looks through your facade, disheartened and worried.)

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“why are you late?” 

you jump at the voice that greets you when you step foot in the apartment and the sight before you causes you to wonder just how tired you feel, because rin is in your apartment, where he’s meant to be, for once. not only that, but he’s leaning against the couch, adorned in loungewear and slippers, and the sight is too foreignly domestic for your comprehension. 

coming home to a house with someone there feels nice. 

he’s lost a little bit of muscle and fat, but his frame is still as intimidating; shoulders broad and built, just the faintest indicator into the athletic body he’s developed over the years. his hair is a little longer too. 

“oh, rin, hi.” you mutter, surprise evident in your tone.

“hello.”

“since i got a promotion,” you respond simply. rin makes no move to approach you, no initiative to take your bag and put it on the couch for you. instead, he stays rooted in his position leaning against the couch, arms crossed.

the air around him feels hostile, and suddenly you’re almost afraid to speak. “and does that promotion change your work hours or something?”

(he doesn’t congratulate or celebrate your achievement.)

“i work with flexible hours now but the office is further and the commute is so bothersome.”

rin uncrosses his arms with a thoughtful hum, gaze glued to the floor, mind occupied. you approach him slowly, pulling your bag off your shoulder and setting it in the entrance near the genkan with a thud, the sound sobering to him.

when he looks back up, you don’t want to acknowledge the emptiness in his icy eyes, barren of the usual determination that defined itoshi rin. but if you knew that that day would be the beginning of the end, perhaps you would have done something about it.

when you opened your arms for him, perhaps you would have hugged him a little tighter, a little longer, strained all the stress out of his shoulders.

perhaps you would have protected him a little harder from the cruelties of his own mind; shown him that the world was not out to get him, and that there was a place for people like him in the world (people who can’t see their own value and instead, berate themselves for their waning self-worth because they cannot see the light behind them).

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“i’m going to shower,” rin declares once the moment both of you step in the safety of your shared home.

“no, you’re not! not before we talk,” you demand, hurriedly taking off your shoes so you can face him before he slips out of your grasp. the dark-haired turns to look at you with an unamused expression, the way tonight seemed to drag on obviously taking a toll on him.

“you’re gonna stop me from taking a shower, really?”

“yes because what the fuck was going on with you tonight?”

he narrows his eyes into slits, the pure intimidation that rin naturally emanates almost threatening you into submission. however, for the humiliation you’ve had to endure tonight, you won’t budge.

“i don’t understand,” rin says monotonously. you roll your eyes.

“you don’t understand? what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i don’t know what you’re getting mad over.”

“the fact that you didn’t even try to talk to me- let alone look at me, once this entire night?”

your partner looks away, crossing his arms over his chest. “that’s an exaggeration,” he huffs.

“no it’s not!” you recall the looks of pity sent your way when rin sat beside you unmoving and unresponsive to any conversation you tried to make. “would it have killed to show you some sort of interest?”

“would it kill you to not receive attention for one night?” he retaliates. 

“it’s not about that-”

“really? sure feels like it. i don’t have time to shower you with all my attention, y/n, there are other things i have to do.” 

there are a million things you want to say to rin, a million emotions that you have felt whilst he’s been absent, a million examples of how he’s been leaving you behind and how you’re now fed up of keeping these millions to yourself. yet, not a word leaves you, too stunned by the stranger in front of you to voice it all out. 

rin, however, takes your silence as defeat and turns to leave.

“you’re being dramatic. i’m going to shower before i waste anymore time with this lukewarm conversation.” 

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

the night your relationship officially fell apart is one you still remember vividly, because it only happened a few days ago.

in your memory, the night was nearing 9pm, yet rin had still not come home. 

your heart takes you to him because as much as your relationship with him has caused you nothing but pain recently, you know itoshi rin. you know him because you’re soulmates and where he goes, there’s a fragment of your heart that follows. 

the drive to the practice pitch is nothing but heavy. heavy with your anticipation and stress, you feel your chest constrict and tighten, especially when you pull up into the very empty parking lot. 

“rin!” you shout for the fifth time and only then, does the dark-haired look up at you from where he’s doing dribbling drills. he almost trips over the ball from your interruption. 

“wha- oh,” he turns away just before you can catch the roll of his eyes, the snarl of frustration (one that lovers should never bare at each other). “what do you want?”

you pause a few feet away from him, utterly gobsmacked with the attitude your partner was showing you. after driving all this way, the least you’d want is a little concern, but alas.

“it’s time to go,” you stand your ground. “i’m here to pick you up.”

“yeah, right, i’m not going home.”

“that’s ridiculous! are you not tired?”

“no.”

“rin. c’mon, that’s enough, you need to rest.”

“what the fuck do you know about being enough?” he asks.

the silence is deafening and most hurtful. 

you stammer out the only response you can, “wh-what?”

he doesn’t give you anything. unrelenting, he is. rin has always been the embodiment of stubbornness served cold. not finding much productivity in his silence, you continue speaking with a wavering voice. “let’s go home. please, you shouldn’t be working yourself like this-”

“-leave me the fuck alone!” he finally comes undone. “can’t you see that i don’t have time to deal with headaches like you?”

the thread keeps unravelling.

“fucking lukewarm. i can’t deal with this right now, i don’t need you here.”

“fine,” you murmur. rin has his back turned against you and he prepares himself to kick another ball. “i’ll leave then since you don’t need me.”

when rin arrives home that night, he reasons the unease churning in his stomach on the physical exertion of practice as nothing is out of place. the apartment is as kept and tidy as it typically is, the lights are off because you’ve gone to bed, and there is a meal on the kitchen counter sealed by plastic wrap.

he won’t eat it because he’ll want to throw up otherwise, so rin tucks it neatly into the fridge, not thinking twice about the emptiness on the shelves, right where your favourite drinks are normally kept. 

the athlete washes up quickly and efficiently, a good night’s rest sounding too appealing for his battered body that felt as heavy as lead. 

that night, sleep takes rin and lulls him into a temporary sanctuary, protecting him from the reality that he would wake up to. because when morning comes, he will turn and find that you are not beside him like he expects you to be. your side of the bed is untouched, devoid of any warmth or indicator that you were there.

he checks the bathroom- you’re not there. he calls your name in the hallway- you don’t respond. he scans the kitchen, the study, the living room, and finds nothing but loneliness in each room. there’s no text from you indicating that you were elsewhere.

you’ll return, though. rin’s sure of it.

except you don’t, the hours pass by with rin anticipating your return, and his confidence slowly dwindles with each minute. by the time it’s been 24 hours since he last saw you, his patience runs thin. finding your contact, rin presses the ‘call’ button and is surprised that it does not go through, stopping him after only one ring when an automated voice says ‘this caller is unavailable’. 

the dark-haired stares at your contact in contempt, furrowing his eyebrows when all of his following attempts receive the same treatment, but rin continues stubbornly because you couldn’t have blocked him, right?

was it because of what he said? he didn’t mean it, he didn’t mean to blow up on you like that- how is he supposed to say sorry if he can’t even reach you?

checking his private accounts on various social media, he sees that you’ve blocked him there too. running in to the master bedroom and checking the closet, half of your clothes are missing, and the bag you keep on the shelf is missing too. the bathroom lacks some of your products, your laptop and various chargers are gone from your study space, and the heaviness of your absence hits itoshi rin like a train.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

you never did come around to collect your stuff. rin finds a little bit of pain in that fact.

he feels like a ghost, haunted by the trinkets of you that remain littered around his apartment. he doesn't have the heart to throw them out, not when they're the closest thing to you he can get.

a few times rin sees you in his dreams. a few times he sees you in his nightmares, looking completely hurt and run-down by his recklessness and neglect, but most mornings he wakes up feeling emptier, no one to turn to on your side on the bed. not anymore. there’s no body to hold when he needs it most, there’s no one to keep him company whilst he eats dinner, there’s no love. not since the day you left.

you, on the other hand, find it odd to live life without a second person in the periphery. you thought rin was the one for you, you never had any thoughts about what life could be without him because you were certain that it would be him that you spent the rest of your years with, so learning to accommodate without him is gnawing you away, the little bug of loneliness festing on your newfound independence. 

you’re seated on the floor of your best friend’s living room when reo texts one day, interrupting your apartment hunt.

reo: Are you still coming to my party?

you scrunch your eyebrows at the text, unknowing of where it was coming from.

y/n: not anymore. what’s up?

reo: Why not :( reo: Please it’d be so fun

y/n: don’t you know that rin and i broke up?

reo: Ok but he’s definitely not coming reo: It’s Rin, he doesn’t have a life so you’re fine. Pls say you’ll come

reo: Plus he’s been all mopey ever since so I don’t think he’s in a party mood

you dutifully ignore the last part of reo’s statement. after a little more coaxing, he finally manages to get you to agree to come, but not without a feeling of apprehension settling in your gut. still, it would be a shame to miss out on an invitation from a friend because of it. 

besides, reo’s bargain of offering to buy your outfit was too tempting to let go. 

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“practice was rough,” bachira murmurs, flopping on the sides of the soccer field with a sigh. his sweat causes his hair and clothes to cling to his skin, and isagi takes a seat on the bench beside his best friend, tossing the dual-tone haired his water bottle.

wiping the sweat off his forehead, isagi agrees with a hum. “i know. i just want to go home.”

“i don’t know how rin does this, staying overtime and all of that.”

“he’s insane. it only got worse after his breakup and everything.”

bachira frowns, looking over to where the dark-haired in question is standing. “i feel bad for rin-rin, seems like he’s not taking it well at all.”

a beat of silence passes before bachira speaks again. “you know y/n’s coming to reo’s party this weekend?” 

the black-haired wipes his mouth before setting the water bottle down. “really?”

“yeah. reo told me.”

“that’s nice, it’s been a while since we’ve seen y/n so it’d be nice to catch up.”

“i wonder if rin knows.”

“i doubt it,” isagi reassures, “he hardly goes to parties like the one reo’s throwing.”

“maybe that’s why y/n agreed in the first place.”

“probably.”

a cold voice suddenly cuts the two from their conversation “y/n’s going to reo’s party?” 

isagi feels his blood cool over before looking up. there, stands itoshi rin, who has a frazzled, yet equally determined look in his eyes, one that isagi has not seen in a while (not since you left). “what? no! where did you hear that from?” 

bachira laughs nervously, “you’re hearing things, rin-rin!

but they are soccer players, not actors or professional liars. “shut the fuck up, asshats. y/n’s going to reo’s party this weekend?”

the two exchange a look and their silence is the only answer rin needs. 

“hold on, you’re not thinking of going, are you?” isagi asks, accepting defeat and now switching tactics.

“why wouldn’t i? my partne-” he pauses. “y/n is gonna be there.”

“yes but-”

“-you can’t stop me from going, so don’t even think about it.”

without another word, rin is gone, stalking away with a scary determination that was previously dormant. 

“what did we just do?” bachira mumbles. “should we tell y/n?” 

“nah.”

“agreed.”

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

you should have never come to this party.

how stupid and foolish of you, but how utterly cruel of the universe to let you hurt like this, to let the same pain that has walked all over you for the past few months return; this time ramming into you with the ferocity of a bull, knocking the air out of your lungs

“y/n!” comes the dreaded call of your name. you walk a little faster, breaking into an-almost sprint.

“y/n!” 

“for fucks sake- y/n!” this cry of your name is broken, rasped and pathetic, and your chests clenches from how pained it sounds. like a howl from an injured wolf, it is broken enough for you to pity it, luring you into a trap that will inevitably end in chunks being torn from your heart, but you don’t have much left to spare, so you keep running, no matter how badly you want to give in.

except it’s not enough to deter rin, nothing ever be when there’s a goal in sight, especially one so close that he can taste it.

“y/n, please, i need to talk to-”

“-go away, rin!” you cut him off, hugging yourself tighter to shield yourself against the cold and rin’s pleas from piercing you. 

“not until you listen to me!”

fury powers you, igniting you with the courage to turn around and finally face him. you don’t look him in the eye, keeping your gaze elsewhere, but he shuts up nevertheless, awestruck by finally being able to see you face-to-face after being so long away from you. all words die on his throat, withering away to nothing as his eyes slightly widen in shock.

you’re just as beautiful as the day you left; perhaps even more so.

rin wonders if your radiancy was birthed by his absence, and if the answer is ‘yes’, he might wither away on the spot.

“it’s always about you isn’t it?” you shout. “always about what you want and never about what others want. you said you wanted me to leave, so i did! what more could i possibly give?” 

he gulps, utterly entranced as his heart makes itself known in his chest, racing wildly and vividly; the first indication that it was alive and hadn’t been replaced by a gaping hole in your absence. he hasn’t felt this human since you left. 

“i didn’t mean for you to actually leave,” rin confesses shakily. 

“well, it didn’t seem like you wanted me to stay either.”

“no, that’s not-” he falters. “it’s… not the same without you.”

you hug yourself tighter. “i don’t believe you, you’re just saying that now that there’s nobody to warm your bed.”

“no, it’s not like that- i don’t like living without you,” the athlete continues, admitting something so heavy with such airiness.

“you can’t just say that after so long. not when you’ve been living without me months before we broke up.”

there are a million and one things that rin wants to say to you, but none of them break through the whirlwind that is his thoughts, rattling around in his brain on overdrive and overwhelming him with the intensity of them all. one thing he knows for sure is that you are the single muse behind all of them, the only thing that is keeping him sane amongst the flurry of disturbances.

then, you shiver from the chilly breeze of the night, and the whirlwind is silenced into oblivion to awaken a dormant instinct of his instead. one that commands him to fulfil a duty that he’s not inclined to do anymore.

quickly, rin takes off his jacket and holds it out to you, as if expecting you to take it. 

he drops it when you don’t, hope dwindling in his stomach.

swallowing weakly, he then asks “would you ever give me a second chance?”

“you’ll hurt me again,” you glance away, the street lamps highlighting the melancholy in your profile as rin observes you closely. his eyes outline the curves of your face, each divet and slope that he used to trace with his hands now out of his reach. “you take and you take, but you never give and i’m so tired of it.”

“don’t say that,” he pleads, voice barely louder than a whisper as the dark-haired takes a heavy step towards you. “you’ll break my heart.”

“i shouldn’t love you anymore, you’re bad for me.”

“then i’ll be good- i’ll become whatever you want me to be-”

“-we won’t work like that.”

“we’ll work as long as i’m yours again, just, let me fix us, i’ll do whatever it takes. i’m not giving up like this.” 

the first tear makes herself known and paths the way for your downfall like a tsunami, washing away whatever you had built up during your time away from itoshi rin; the good and the bad. the hurt and the healing, all undone by a singular, stray tear. in your vision, he becomes nothing but a blur, a kaleidoscope of colours that you once loved.

a kaleidoscope of colours that you still love, much to the chagrin of your broken heart. 

a hand wraps around your wrist, a warm shackle that grounds you to rin like he’s your lifeline. no matter how bad you want to push him away, something in you will always bend to him. 

“don’t cry,” he pleads, voice airy and breathy. “i’m sorry, please don’t cry.”

please don’t cry because of me.

“i don’t want to be with you if it means i need to go through all of that again.” you whisper, slipping out of his grasp like sand and wiping away your own tears, rejecting his callous and prickly touch. 

rin’s world dims as panic seizes his throat. “please don’t say that, you don’t mean it.”

“i do though. you left me first, don’t you know?” 

“-i do.”

“and now i’m not yours to care about anymore-”

“i know, i know,” words are merely spilling out of his mouth without much purpose at this point, because he’ll do anything just to delay you leaving, to push back the possibility of you turning around and never seeing you again. why did he have to break who he loved so much? 

still, he pleads for another chance, desperation shining in his eyes as pure longing fills him. you have always been too good to him, he knows, but like the tumultuous tides and their inability to stray too far from the shore, rin will come back to you with his undying devotion. 

even if he thinks you should find someone better than him, that you should be adored by someone who could love you so much better, he can’t let go. to let you go is to let go the one good thing that came to him in life, 

you exhale shakily. “we’ve loved each other for too long.” 

“what do you mean?” he stutters, eyes widening helplessly. 

“i have loved you too much for too long, rin,” you choke, “there has to be an end to us somewhere in sight- you need to accept that.”

“no,” his look of absolute devastation causes a physical recoil in your stomach. “no- not long enough, it’ll never be enough, fuck- even forever won’t be long enough, i can’t let you go like that.”

he crosses the distance between you in the blink of an eye. you can’t see him clearly under the dim light of the night, but you can feel him, so close and so overwhelming, but so cold as his hands come to grasp yours. his grip is firm, not enough to hurt, but enough for you to feel his determination. 

tears dance along his lashline. 

“please, tell me you’re still mine,” begs the dark-haired. rin’s tears are diamonds, in which they are precious, but they also crumble into a precious waterfall that rolls down his cheeks, tempting you towards his beautiful ruination. 

words continue to tumble out of him, each one sharpened to pierce your defences. “tell me that we’ll be fine, that i’m all you want, please. i’m so fucking sorry for hurting you, but please don’t leave me. 

i’ll fix us, i’ll become everything you need, i’ll be good.”

the dark-haired’s hands find their way to your face, cupping each side of your jaw with a scary gentleness; one that you’d never expect from someone as ragged as itoshi rin. 

“i love you,” he declares, so raw, so full of passion that it makes you sick. the rin you know never lets his heart on his sleeve like this. 

you cave. “how will you fix us?” 

slowly. he’ll rebuild everything that you have given him.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

first, rin takes you out on dates again. calls you beautiful and really means it.

second, rin leaves practice at regular times, and listens when you tell him that he needs to take care of himself. because for you, he will. 

third, rin picks you up from work. his practice ends a little earlier than your job, so he always goes the extra mile to be there for you at the end of the day. even if you tell him that he doesn’t need to go out of his way to do so, he’d rather see you get home safe than only receiving a mere text of confirmation. 

plus, it gives rin more time with you.

fourth, rin sends you regular gifts. from bouquets, to random items that he just knows you’d like, they all get left at your door at the best times. 

fifth, rin lets you set the pace. you wanted things to go slow so that you two didn’t have to force anything back in place. no point recreating something that’s in the past, you reasoned, so might as well try again.

sixth, rin takes his time in welcoming you back into his space. it’s a few months after you two have reconciled, and majority of your items are back where they belong (you poked fun at him for not being able to throw away the stuff you did leave, and he just mumbled something indecipherable, all embarrassed, before moving on). the life has been restored in his apartment, now filled with more remnants of you loitering around his space: your various chargers and laptop, your products, your clothes, they all sit beside his things like that’s where they are meant to be.

and you are back in his arms, because it is where you are meant to be (more for his sake than yours).

rin stirs awake one morning under the gentle light of the morning sun and you’re there beside him, occupying the space that he has left devastatingly empty. mattress still curved to your frame as he never dared infiltrate it, in hopes that you would return.

now that you have, you feel too warm, too familiar, too unreal that he wonders if you’re just another dream of his. 

then, you stir, and press yourself closer against his chest, face to face with the heart that only beats for you.

a stray tear rolls down rin’s face; a salvation for the utter relief he feels, as well as the overwhelming amount of adoration that he stores for you. his ‘i love you’ is sweeter than the chirping of the birds outside, and certainly more meaningful as he wraps more of himself around your sleeping figure, hoping to attach all of him to all of you. 

you’re home. he won’t let you leave again.

© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.

[lambertdiary]

FAKE DATING WITH MIKE PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU the plot can be whatever you want but please

A/N: The 'fake dating' trope is genuinely one of my favourites so it's safe to say I had a lot of fun coming up with the plot for this one. I'll post a part two if you guys enjoy this one, so please let me know what you think!!

Word Count: 3.5k+

Warnings: language and I guess that's it

MASTERLIST     ✩    SEND ME A REQUEST

This Love Is Just For Show

It was a slow day at your job. Even though it was a Thursday morning and it was usually really busy at this time, the number of customers coming through the door was significantly lower than any other morning, but you were thankful that you didn’t have to do a million things at the time this early.

You worked at a coffee shop and have worked there for a while, so you were used to the crazy job and by this point, you remembered most of the recurring customers, but you always waited for one in particular.

You heard the little bell that indicated that a customer had entered the coffee shop, so you quickly finished arranging the coffee cups behind the counter before turning to greet your customer. You fought the smile that threatened to creep its way onto your face when you saw who it was, and gave him a nonchalant expression instead.

“Hey Mike”

“Hi” He greeted you back with a smile.

“You want your usual, right?”

“So no small talk today, I suppose” Mike leant his forearms on the counter.

“Sorry, it’s kinda busy back here”

He looked around at the almost empty café “I’m not gonna steal more of your time then. I’ll have my usual”

You took a medium cup and used it to cover your smile, marking up his exact coffee order and writing his name at the bottom.

“You know, my offer to go out for coffee still stands. Maybe at a place you don’t have to make it”

You giggle as you put down the cup, typing a few words into the computer in front of you “You’re very sweet Mike but we’ve been through this, I don’t-”

“Date customers, I know” He finished your sentence.

“Look at that, you do remember. And yet, you keep on asking”

“Just hoping you’ll change your mind, I guess”

You shook your head “Not gonna happen”

“Alright, I’ll stop” He took out his wallet and paid for his drink “I’ll just try again in a month or two. Thanks”

He immediately walked to the other end of the counter to wait for his drink, constantly eying you while you took someone else’s order. You were looking his way too, but way more discreetly than he was.

When he finally got his coffee, he thanked your coworker and walked towards the door, turning his head around for a moment to face you “Bye, I’ll see you tomorrow”

Your eyes lingered on the glass doors after he left. You thought he was attractive, sweet, funny and just nice to have around, but you didn’t know whether you liked him like that or not but sometimes you thought you’d like to find out and go out with him, but you couldn’t do it. The real reason you had rejected every single one of his invitations wasn’t the one you gave him every time he asked, it was because you got out of a messy relationship 6 months ago and you weren’t ready to commit to anything, not yet.

Hours later your shift finally came to an end and you were ready to get out of there, you had a lot to do after all. You were in a hurry, so after taking all of your things you made your way to your car and drove to the grocery store.

After finding a parking spot you entered the massive building, guiding the shopping cart in front of you. You were so wrapped up in your thoughts looking down at your phone as you checked your shopping list, you didn’t notice the familiar face quickly approaching you.

“Y/N?” Your head snapped up as you immediately recognised the voice. You forced a smile while trying really hard to keep your eyes from widening.

“Nick, hi” The shock of seeing your ex-boyfriend for the first time since the breakup was more evident than you had intended.

“It’s been so long, how have you been?”

“Good, things are good” An awkward silence took over your conversation as quickly as it had started. The two of you smiled at each other politely, discomfort present in both of your eyes “How about you?”

“Amazing, actually” You nodded at him in response, unsure of what to say next. Thankfully, someone else joined the conversation. A girl you recognised as one of Nick’s friends from when you were dating him.

“Y/N! It’s been so long” She approached you for a hug, which you politely accepted.

“You remember Emily” Nick said as you pulled away.

“Of course, hi!”

“This is so funny, we were just talking about you last night” Emily said, standing closer to Nick and slowly wrapping her arm around him.

“You were? Why’s that?”

“She suggested we invite you to our engagement party this weekend”

Engagement?

“Oh my god, you guys are engaged” If you weren’t in shock before, you certainly were now “That’s amazing!” You wrapped your arms around them and pulled both of them into a hug, hoping this would prove to him that you really were happy for them. Even though that was far from the truth.

You pulled away after a few seconds, building up the perfect fake smile “I know it’s a bit of a shocker since Nick and I were just friends when you guys were dating, but I hope it’s not weird or anything”

“Please, not at all. I- I’m really happy for you guys”

“Thank you” Emily held your hand momentarily before dropping it and taking it back to her financé’s arm “So, are you coming?”

You thought about it for a moment. You really didn’t wanna go, but you thought that if you showed up you would show them how okay you were with their engagement. Even though you weren’t, since you broke up with Nick just six months ago and out of nowhere he’s engaged now, and you… you hadn’t even gone on a single date since then.

“Of course I’ll be there”

“Great! Should we save an extra seat for a special someone?” Emily asked with a wink.

You could feel your face burn as you thought of the lack of a love life, but your mouth was faster than your brain “Yes, I’ll bring my boyfriend with me”

Fuck.

“Oh” You hear Nick whisper.

“I mean I’ll ask him if he can make it, but you know, he gets really busy sometimes, so-”

“Okay, well I’ll have Nick text you the details later but I guess I’ll see you on Saturday!” Emily pulled you in for another hug, and Nick just waved at you as the both walked away from you.

You were left standing there alone, feeling like a complete loser. You didn’t have feelings for him or anything, and you wished you didn’t care about his engagement but you just couldn't help it.

Your relationship with him was complicated, and your breakup was so messy it took a while to pick up the pieces, and the main reason for that was because he swore he would never want to get married. After being together for a couple of years you moved in together for a few months, leading you to think he’d propose eventually, but he said that was the most you’d get from him. Now six months later he’s engaged to one of his friends…

You barely had the energy to finish with your grocery shopping. You were cursing yourself for saying you would go to their engagement party and on top of everything making up a fake boyfriend. Why couldn’t you just say you were busy? Any other answer would have been better than that.

You went home with a lot on your mind, and Nick’s text with all the details for Saturday just made it worse. You let out a loud sigh as you collapsed on your bed, going through your contacts list to see if you could find someone who would be willing to be your fake boyfriend for a night.

You quickly gave up as you realised how crazy it would be to make such a request, so maybe it would be better if you came up with an excuse and said you wouldn’t be able to make it.

Unless…

You typed Mike’s name on your contacts, hoping you’d find his number there. He gave it to you a couple of months ago, written on a napkin after going to the coffee shop for a week straight. You were almost crossing your fingers, urging that your past self saved it, but you assumed you got rid of it since it wasn’t on your phone.

You sigh again, too tired to think of more solutions.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★

The next day wasn’t any better. The party that was taking place the next day was flooding your mind and unfortunately for you, the possibilities of ending up looking like a loser in front of everyone were high.

Everyone around you seemed to notice something was off, but with the busy morning that kept everyone doing something they didn’t have time to ask you the reason. That was definitely a relief, you would hate to admit what your current problem was.

Customers kept coming and that almost made you forget about the whole fake boyfriend thing, until you saw Mike approach the counter with a big smile.

“Hi” You shyly smile back at him.

“Hi, I’ll just have my usual”

You nodded as you grabbed a medium cup. You were debating in your mind whether or not it would be a good idea to ask him for help, but the simple thought of those words leaving your mouth made your face turn a bright red.

“And I’ll also have a cupcake”

You looked at him with furrowed brows. He had been going there every day for at least a couple of months and he never tried something new, so him making an addition to his order took you by surprise “Oh, what’s the occasion?”

“Buying a few extra seconds, I guess” He replied like it was no big deal. He took out his wallet ready to pay for his order, smiling when he noticed your blushed face.

If he was willing to buy a cupcake just to talk to you for a little longer, maybe he would be down to go to a party with you and pretend to be your boyfriend for a night. After all, he had been begging you for a date nearly everyday since the day you met him, and that would count as one, right?

You looked at the cupcake tray that was sitting next to you, naming the cupcake flavours while you kept a collected expression despite the heat rushing to your cheeks as you wrote your phone number down on his cup, right next to his name.

“Uh- we have vanilla, chocolate, blueberry-”

“Which one is your favourite?” He interrupted you.

“Red velvet with cream cheese frosting”

“I’ll have that one”

You tried to suppress your smile as you reached for the cupcake, blushing a little harder when your hand brushed his “Enjoy it”

“I will, or I guess I’ll let you know what I think on Monday” You looked down and grabbed his receipt, keeping your eyes fixated on the screen in front of you when you handed it to him “Thanks” Mike said, and you panicked when he started to walk away, and once again your mouth acted on instinct.

“I get off at 4” You spit out, making him stop and take a step back as you cursed yourself for how pathetic you sounded.

“Huh?”

“Today, I- I get off at 4” You repeated, thinking of something else to say “You can call me and- and maybe I’ll see you later”

A smile appeared on his face “Yeah, sure. I’ll give you a call” He nodded quickly, but stopped when he realised “I’d love to have your number, though”

“On your cup”

His smile grew bigger, and you could almost notice his tinted cheeks “I’ll talk to you later, then”

You nodded as he walked away, pushing away your embarrassment as you fixed your face to attend a new customer. You tried to stay focused on the order, but the cheeky smile from your coworker made you blush again.

“Shut up” You said, rolling your eyes at her.

The rest of the day went by painfully slowly. You were dying to check your phone to see if he had called you or at least texted you, but it was so busy that you didn’t have the time for that.

At the same time you were hoping he’d take his time reaching out to you. You felt guilty dragging him into your little show and you knew if you went out with him you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from asking him.

When your lunch break came you literally ran to the back to get your phone, your heart skipping a beat when you read the last notification.

Unknown: Hey, it’s Mike

You saved his contact right away, and then took a little too long to think of a response, writing and deleting the message a few times before finally sending one back.

You: This is Y/N!

You rolled your eyes at your own message, and only a few seconds later your phone started ringing, his name showing on the tiny screen. You froze for a moment, but rushed to answer when it rang for the second time.

“Hi” You said in a shy tone.

“Hi. Sorry for calling but it’s way easier than texting”

“Don’t worry, I agree” You let out a little giggle before continuing “I guess I should apologise for earlier today”

“What do you mean?”

“You know, writing my number on your cup-”

“No need to apologise” He interrupted you “I’ve been meaning to ask you, what changed?”

‘I ran into my now engaged ex boyfriend and made up a fake boyfriend so I desperately need your help’ you thought to yourself, but of course you couldn’t say that, not yet anyway.

“I, uh- I thought about your offer, and coffee sounds nice”

“Well… I know a place, they have the best red velvet cupcakes-”

“Definitely not here” You stop him before you let out another laugh, even though you knew he was joking “We can meet somewhere else, what time do you get off?”

“Oh, so you really did mean tonight” Mike sighs loudly, taking a hand to his hair as he tries to think of someone who could babysit his sister.

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to bury your embarrassment at how desperate you sounded “Sorry, we can try some other time-”

“No” He’s quick to cut you off “I just need to find a babysitter for Abby-”

“Who’s Abby?”

“My little sister, but the babysitter leaves at 6”

“Right, I understand” You try to think of a solution without sounding more desperate than you already were, but maybe it was for the best if you didn’t see him tonight.

“I’m gonna call her and ask if she can stay with Abby for a little longer tonight”

That makes you feel bad, thinking about his little sister stuck with the babysitter just because of your big mouth. You start to come to your senses, there was no way you could lead him on like that.

You let out a loud breath before saying “Mike, actually I think it’s better if we leave it for another time”

He stays silent for a moment, but then finally replies “Uh- yeah, that’s okay”

“Sorry, it’s just-” You stop when the clock on the wall tells you your lunchtime is over “I have to go but I’ll see you on Monday”

You hand up the phone immediately, the guilt coming back to you for a different reason.

You spend the rest of your shift thinking of excuses for your absence to the party, knowing that that’s what you should have done from the beginning. When you leave you’re so caught up on your thoughts you almost don’t recognise the person waiting for you outside.

“Mike?”

“Hi, yeah- uh sorry” He put his hands on his pockets, looking down at the ground “You sounded a little weird on the phone earlier”

“I had to go back to work, sorry”

“Right, I know… so, about the coffee-”

“Y/N!” Mike is interrupted by a voice you hated to recognize. You closed your eyes momentarily as you let out a breath, mentally preparing yourself to talk to her again “We have to stop running into each other like this”

“Emily, so nice to see you again” You say with a convincing smile.

“You too” She inspects your outfit and the building behind you, a smirk appearing on her face when her eyes landed on you again “I see you’re still working at the café”

You don’t say anything but your blood starts to boil, but at the same time you’re trying hard to hide your embarrassment.

Mike looked at you as soon as those words left her mouth, trying to read your expression, but when you didn’t say anything he decided to jump in “Hi, I’m Mike”

“Oh hi, I’m Emily” They shook hands and she carefully examined him almost entirely, and Mike dropped it after just a moment “I used to be friends with Y/N. Well, with her ex boyfriend, but he’s now my fiancé” She said as she showed off her ring, and the two of you simply nodded “Oh… you must be Y/N’s boyfriend”

Emily’s eyes fixated on you, giving you the same intimidating look she always gave you, making you break and fall into a moment of weakness “Yes” You replied, and she immediately turned to Mike to give him a hug.

“You should’ve said that before, she was telling us about you last night”

He was looking at you with a million questions as his eyes gave you the most confused look you had ever seen on anyone. You mouthed the word ‘Sorry’ as they pulled away.

“You guys are coming to the party tomorrow, right?”

“We can’t make it, sorry” You grabbed Mike’s arm and pulled him closer to you, giving him an apologetic smile.

“Oh well that’s a shame”

“You never said anything about a party, baby” He looked at you, amusement building in his face.

You were sure your face has never been more red than it is right now, you truly didn’t know what to say to that “Uh I- I’m sorry, I guess I forgot”

“We’ll be there”

“Mike, what are you doing?” You whisper to him.

“Great! I can’t wait to see you guys tomorrow”

She starts to walk away as she waves you goodbye, and as soon as she leaves you turn to face Mike, your apology already leaving your mouth “I’m sorry, Mike I’m so sorry, I don’t know what got into me-”

“Who was that?” He interrupted you “And most importantly, why did you say I was your boyfriend”

“That was my… I used to know her when I was dating my ex boyfriend” You explained, scratching your head as you tried to think of the answer to his next question “I don’t know why I said that. I panicked but of course that’s no excuse, I shouldn't have said that, I’m so sorry”

“What did she mean you told them about me last night?”

“I didn’t, I swear I didn’t” You simply reply, but he urges you to continue “I ran into them and they invited me to their engagement party, which already was so crazy cause I didn’t think Nick would ever get married, but he would give that to Emily I guess” You start to ramble, but stop when you realise you’ve said too much “She asked me if I would bring someone with me and I don’t know why but I said yes”

“Does that have anything to do with you giving me your number today?”

“No, of course not” You rushed to reply “Look, I’m sorry I got you into this. It’s stupid and it’s immature, you don’t have to worry about her thinking you’re my boyfriend, I promise I’ll call her”

You stared for a moment, waiting for him to accept your apology, although you’d understand if he didn’t.

“I can come to the party with you”

“What?”

“I mean she’s not very nice, why give her the satisfaction? Plus, I already promised we’d be there”

“No, Mike you don’t have to do that-”

“I tried asking you on a date for weeks, I’m not gonna let it go to waste now, even if it’s not real”

You stop to think for a little too long. If he was down then what was the problem? Asking him to do that for you did cross your mind anyway, so now that he was volunteering himself you shouldn't feel as guilty, right?

“It’s just going to be for one night, and knowing Emily there will be so much free food and drinks, you just need to stay with me and maybe hold my hand a few times”

"Deal"

Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you think, likes and reblogs are highly appreciated!!

[allfryam]

the office part 2

Jason was loving his new job. All of the people were great, he barely did any work, and he was never hungry. Speaking of hungry, it was lunchtime and him and Connor were going down to the food court. Jason ordered 3 double cheeseburgers, a large shake, a side of Mac and cheese, and some fries. “Do you want anything?” He asked Connor.

after gorging on enough food to feed a family of three, Jason leaned back in his chair, revealing a sliver of his smooth belly under his shirt. Jason had gained over 25 pounds in the first month working at the office. He had yet to notice because he was convinced he was still perfectly in shape. He tugged his shirt back over his belly and let out a big burp. “I think these shirts shrink after a bit.” He said. “Yeah. Same happened to mine.” Said Connor. “You should come over to my place later.” Connor said. He explained the new x-box game he just got to Jason. Jason wasn’t all that interested until Connor mentioned pizza. “I’ll be there at 6.”

arriving at Connor’s apartment, Jason noticed 6 large pizzas sitting on the counter. His mouth was already watering. They sat down to play the new game and dig into the pizzas. Connor had easily eaten the first pizza, but he was struggling on the second one. “Man I’m full”. He said. “Oh well. More for me” Jason quickly grabbed the box and grabbed two slices at a time, one in each hand, guzzling down the slices as fast as he could. He was like a machine. He didn’t even slow down until after he finished the third box. He hated wasting food so he kept eating but it wasn’t easy. He got another few slices in before he had to take a break. “Yo do you care if I take my shirt off? It’s kinda hot in here”. “Ya sure man”. Jason took off his skin tight shirt and revealed his tight stomach. It was round and soft and sat just on top of his belt. His chiseled pecs were growing softer too. They began to sag and get bigger they were almost all the way to his belly. He took off his belt and unbuttoned his tight pants. His growing gut surged forward with a groan. “Fuuuuucckk”. “That feels so much better”. He burped and grabbed another slice of pizza.

by the end of the night, there were still 5 or 6 slices of pizza left but both boys were stuffed. “Dude I think I can eat them but I need help”. Jason said. “help?” “ yeah. Just help me eat these.” “Ok.”

Connor grabbed a slice and walked over to Jason. Jason leaned back and closed his eyes. Connor shoved the slice into Jason’s mouth as far as he could. Jason mindlessly chewed and groaned as he ate. Connor continued the cycle until there was one slice left. Jason’s belly was taut and red. It looked like a balloon that was inflated too much. “Uuuugghhh” Jason moaned. But Connor didn’t stop. He stuffed the last piece into Jason’s mouth and forced him to chew. After what seemed like hours, Jason finally swallowed and finished the pizza. He had eaten four and a half LARGE pizzas all by himself. He promptly passed out on Connors couch with his stomach grumbling in pain.

A very similar routine would occur for the next month and Jason loved it. He got to steal some delicious donuts from the break room, have an enormous lunch with Connor and then go back to Connor’s place and play video games and eat some more takeout. Jason’s frame was quickly expanding, and he had no clue. He had started to notice a few changes however. He couldn’t fit into his work pants anymore so he would leave them unbuttoned and hire it under his shirt. He had gone through three sizes of shirts since he got the job, but he still believed his dryer was shrinking them. Jason had no idea he was over 50 pounds heavier than he was just a few months ago, and Connor liked it that way.

[jackmanbj]

home surprise

jack was on his was back, he was finally done with tour and was exhausted, he had been working so hard and you could tell from phone daily phone calls he wasn’t getting all the sleep he needed.

“jack baby please rest before you come home” jack sighed and looked at you through the phone, his dark eye bags showing heavy “baby, i have been getting 4 hours a sleep” “jack! your saying that like it’s a good thing you need more rest! when you come home your going straight to bed!” “not before i fuck you” “yes before you fuck me! i need you to be rested up!” “fine baby, im about to start packing and ready for bed, i loveeeee youuu” “i love you so much more! now get some rest!” “i love you more tho” “jackman dont start.” “yes ma’am, and you better be sleep when i get there!” “of course baby”

you hung up the phone, of course you weren’t going to sleep you immediately went downstairs and cleaned it a up then started taking out the meat to defrost for jacks favorite meal then going to the living room to get snacks ready and movies planned out.

of course jack would get all this after he rested or he would quite literally pass out from exhaustion.

you checked the time 1:30am, jack would be back around 7am.

jack knew new you usually woke up around 8 or 9 so he wanted to make sure you were sleep to surprise you by you waking up to him.

you were going to wake up at 5:45am just to make sure jacks food was nice and ready for when he got back.

you set an alarm for 5:30am and fell asleep.

once it hit 5:30 you alarm went off waking you. you quickly got up and showered, brushed you teeth and started makings jacks food.

it was a quick easy mean so you were done by 6:48 jack had landed around 6:48 and would be here around 6:50 or 7:00 so you started putting the food on his and urban’s plate and placing them into the microwave.

when 7:05 hit you heard keys jingle so you quickly took the food out checking to see if it was still hot and they were so you placed it down in front the two chairs where jack and urban usually sat and got some forks for them.

“hi boys!” you gave urban a hug then went to hug and kiss jack.

“baby i told you to be sleep when i got here.” “i know but i made your favorite meal!” “did you even sleep baby?” “yes j, eat please!”

urban and jack sat down and started eating while you started cleaning up the rest of your mess.

“baby your not eating?” “uhmm not right now” “mk” once jack finished you took his plate for him and washed it and once urban was done you washed his to.

while you were finishing up the dishes jack came up behind you and rubbing on your lower thighs kissing your neck

“mm jack” “baby you can clean up later, lets go lay down hmm?” “im almost done, and i told you no sex till you sleep for at least, 7 hours. minimum!” “ baby.. i haven’t seen you in monthsss i miss you” “and i miss you to baby but where not having sex right now, ill be in the bedroom soon to help you unpack” “finee”

jack slowly walked up the stairs waiting for you to change your mind, but of course you didn’t.

once you went upstairs you seen jack unpacking.

“you need help baby boy?” “yes babe!”

you finished helped jack unpack and he went to go shower while you got his sweatpants out since that was all he liked to wear for bed anyway.

once jack got out he quickly put on his pants and laid down next to you.

“i missed you baby” you started playing in his damp hair and kissing his forehead “miss you so much” jack responded in soft snores. he was face first in your boobs drooling so you kissed his forehead once more and fell asleep with him.

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 50

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 6k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Friday, February 12 - At Jenni’s place.

I bite my lip to stifle my smile. The image Lucy presents is funny, but I don't want to make her scowl worse. It’s the first time I’ve seen her so impatient, tapping her best friend’s car hood.

“They’re obviously late,” she grumbles.

“They’ve only been gone ten minutes. They’ll be here soon.”

“It’s not funny,” she growls. “Stop smiling like that.”

My smile fades instantly; I don’t want to annoy her any further. Our vacation isn’t starting as I had imagined. Lucy’s been grumpy since I met up with her. She had a terrible morning, having to supervise a first-year student who was punished and left out in the rain. I hope she’s tougher than me and doesn’t fall sick. She was so chilled at noon that she had to stay under the shower for over fifteen minutes to warm up. We planned to leave right after our classes to have lunch in town with Alexia and Ingrid, but we ended up grabbing a sandwich to eat at the airport because we were short on time. It was a good decision, because even though Mapi’s plane was delayed, she managed to get out before we finished eating. Miraculously, we arrived on time for the meeting we had planned with Lucy’s friends. If we hadn’t, I can’t even imagine how Lucy would have been, seeing her already so wound up now. We were supposed to leave at 2:30 PM, but Jenni supposedly lost her phone in the apartment. Seeing Lucy’s worsening state, Alexia decided to go up and help Jenni search for it. I suggested to Lucy that we step outside to get some air to calm down, but it was a bad idea once our friends waiting in the other cars started teasing us by honking.

“I’m going to kill them.”

“Hey!” I exclaimed. “Calm down.”

I was about to put my hand on her back but held back when I saw her dark eyes. The others are openly mocking us. We decided to take three cars to avoid being crammed together with our luggage. Mapi is sharing a car with Ingrid and Aitana, who’s driving. As for the second car, there’s Mary, Caroline, and Beth. As for us, we’re riding with Jenni and Alexia. Lucy draws my attention with a sigh.

“I need a hug,” she mutters.

I smile as I open my arms to her. She leans into me, resting her head on my shoulder. This time, I gently rub her back.

“Come on, relax. We’re on vacation. We’ve been looking forward to this for so long.”

The week was tough. We were distant from each other most of the time. I didn’t understand the feeling of missing her, but according to Lucy, it’s just because it’s still the early stages of our relationship. We need to find a balance, and she’s probably right. It only made me more eager to finally be on vacation.

“Hmm... You’re right. I’m sorry for being so unpleasant.”

“You’re allowed to have a bad day.”

She nods before giving me a chaste kiss. The moment doesn’t last long as she returns to nuzzle into my neck. We stay like that until our friends return. Jenni is driving, so Lucy gave up the front passenger seat to Alexia and sat in the back with me. She’s the first to get into the car when they return.

“Did you find it?” I ask Ale.

“Yeah, it’s all good. How’s Lucy doing?”

“Not great, but she’ll be fine,” I reassure her.

“I hope so.”

I nod with a small smile to reassure her. I’m not worried about it. The ride will probably calm her down. I join Lucy in the back. The first thing I notice is that she’s moved my backpack that I had placed in the middle and also took off her jacket. Seeing this, I follow suit, figuring she’s right to make herself comfortable given the long drive ahead.

“How many hours do we have left?” I ask, thinking about it.

“A little less than 6 hours, I think.” Lucy says

“Could be worse,” Jenni replies as she settles in.

She also takes off her jacket. Something tells me they’ve traveled together a lot before, and I’m not sure how to feel about that. The GPS she activates pulls me out of my thoughts as it starts speaking. We’ll be the ones leading the way thanks to it. I realize I didn’t bring my headphone, but I quickly forget this detail when I hear the music playing. Jenni left the radio on with current hits. It’ll fill the silence since Lucy doesn’t seem to want to talk.

“Can I lie down?”

I’m surprised to hear her speak. She’s pointing at my lap, and I quickly understand her intention. I’m not sure how she plans to do it, but I nod in affirmation.

“Of course,” I confirm. “Come here.”

She unbuckles the shoulder strap of her seatbelt, leaving only the lower part fastened, then takes off her shoes and leans heavily against me. We shift to find our positions, and once we do, I hold her close, intertwining our hands. My free hand gently rubs her stomach in slow circles, which seems to soothe her judging by the long sigh she lets out. This week was pretty disastrous. If we didn’t share a room, we would have barely seen each other since she was so busy. The fact that she doesn’t want any affection during the day doesn’t help either. Plus, I had to meet with Wiegman. She wanted to make sure my night troubles were improving, and she confirmed that I’d be returning to my room after the holidays. I need to make the most of Lucy during this vacation. Looking up, I catch Ale’s reflection in the sun visor. She smiles at us, making me blush. This is the first time she’ll see us interact so closely, especially as a couple. I turn away and grab my scarf to use as a pillow against the window. Lucy, already dozing off in my arms, grumbles at my fidgeting. I apologize and stop moving. My head trembles slightly against the window, but not enough to be bothersome. I finally exhale softly, closing my eyes with a small smile on my lips as the car finally starts moving.

Friday, February 12 - Hotel.

I jump slightly when a hand touches my cheek. I look around, almost bumping into Lucy, who had finally slumped over me. The car is empty except for the two of us. She gives me a reassuring smile.

“We’re here.”

“Already?”

“Yeah,” she giggles. “It’s not a myth. You really sleep like a log. I didn’t dare wake you.”

I blush at her remark. I realize I had fallen asleep again for the entire trip. I imagine she didn’t.

“I don’t want to get up,” she tells me. “You’re really comfortable.”

“It’s not surprising with all this fat,” I joke.

Lucy gently smacks my thigh with a stern look, making me yelp in surprise.

“Don’t ever say that. It’s not true.”

She grimaces as she sits up. The position must have given her cramps. She swears as she stretches and unbuckles her seatbelt. I do the same, putting on my jacket and scarf.

“Bundle up well. It’s cold outside.”

I nod, agreeing with her. From what I can see, there’s a thick layer of snow outside. As soon as the door opens, a frigid gust invades the car. To think that in Manchester, everything was starting to melt. Here we are back in the snow. I smile at Mapi, who comes to greet me as soon as I step out.

“Did you sleep through the whole trip again, sleepyhead?” she teases.

“No using that nickname, it’s mine,” grumbles Lucy as she steps out of the car too.

I stifle a laugh when I see Mapi roll her eyes nonchalantly. From the latest updates I’ve gotten, the two have been getting along better thanks to Mapi’s support for my girlfriend. This only makes me happy. I was really worried about the opposite. Luckily, Mapi doesn’t push her on the subject. I would have sided with Lucy. She doesn’t give me many nicknames, so I plan to let her have exclusivity if that’s what she wants. For the past few weeks, she’s been calling me "princess" or even "baby" or "sleepyhead." These nicknames make my heart flutter. They really make me feel like we're together. It's not easy to realize that since we maintain a teacher/student relationship at school.

"Can you help me, baby?" Lucy calls as she takes out our suitcases.

"Yep," I reply, confirming. "See you later," I say to Mapi before leaving.

I help her with the last of our things before joining our friends, who are chatting at the entrance, waiting for us. We all go inside the lobby together to escape the cold, and I must say, we make quite a group, especially with the other girls. The place looked large from the outside, and now that I'm seeing the reception area, I find it stunning. It's a mix of modern decor and a chalet style, thanks to the wooden accents. I stay aside with Alexia and Mapi while Lucy goes up to the reception with a few friends. We have five rooms in total—one for each couple, and the last two will be shared by the four single girls.

"I think the receptionist has a little crush on you," Mapi teases.

I stop my observations, realizing she's talking to me.

"Huh? No way."

"No, I think she's right. He keeps glancing at you," Ale giggles.

I roll my eyes at their teasing. He’s going to be disappointed when he sees me in Lucy's arms later. I don't really plan on hiding my relationship with her during this trip. All our friends know about us, so there's no reason to. My curiosity gets the better of me, and I feel compelled to take a quick glance at him to see what he looks like. He was indeed looking at me, but when our eyes met, he quickly looked away. He seems to be around our age, if not closer to Lucy's age. I turn back to the girls, who are talking about how great this week is going to be. They say it’s going to be awesome, and I quickly agree before Mapi nudges me.

"What?" I groan.

"You're the one she's calling 'sweetheart.'"

"What are you talking about?"

I frown, following her nod toward Lucy. She’s waiting for me a little farther away, shaking our room key.

"Oh," I say, blushing. "See you later, then."

"Yeah, sure," my best friend mocks.

I grab my suitcase and roll it over to Lucy. She tilts her head and holds out her hand when I reach her. I take it without thinking.

"Did you call me 'sweetheart'?" I ask, feeling shy.

"Hmm," she smiles. "Do I not have the right?"

"Yes, yes," I say, blushing again. "It’s just new."

"True," she laughs. "I can stop giving you nicknames if you prefer."

"Oh no, no. I like it. It was just... unexpected."

"Alright," she laughs. "I'll make sure to continue if you like it. Come on, let’s go up."

"And the others?"

"We're meeting at the restaurant at 6:30."

"Oh, okay."

I glance back at the others for a moment before following Lucy to the elevators. She calls one with a button.

"Do you know if our rooms are next to each other?"

"I don’t think so, but they’re on the same floor."

"And where are we?"

"Room 322, on the third floor."

"Cool."

We step into the elevator, letting go of each other's hands as we turn around. I catch a glimpse of the lobby, where I notice the young receptionist watching us with a new look of embarrassment when I catch him.

"The girls think the receptionist has a crush on me," I share with amusement.

"Oh really?" she smiles. "Too bad for him that you're already taken."

I smile as she pulls me close and kisses me just as the doors close. Oh yes, I’m already taken by the most wonderful person. The doors open to our floor. We easily find our room, which Lucy unlocks. She had shown me photos on the computer, but the reality is much better. It's beautiful. Like the lobby, the room has a chalet style. Everything is made of oak wood, with anthracite gray walls that contrast with the light wood beams. It’s not very big, which makes the space feel cozy. I’m thrilled to share it with Lucy for a whole week. A huge bed, which looks super comfortable, takes up the middle of the room. Opposite it, there’s a TV mounted on the wall that I can’t resist touching.

"Don’t touch everything," Lucy scolds.

"But look, it moves."

I tilt it from right to left to show my discovery, making Lucy laugh.

"I know, baby," she says, taking off her jacket and placing it on top of her suitcase.

Ignoring her, I continue exploring the room. We have a sitting area with a sofa and an armchair, and there’s even a small terrace. When I turn around, I quickly join Lucy, who is in the bathroom. It’s slightly bigger than the one Lucy has at Camp Wiegman. There are double sinks, a shower, and even a large bathtub. I can already see myself relaxing in there. Lucy’s arms wrap around me from behind. I smile as she unzips my jacket. I lean into her to make it easier.

"A whole week just for us," she murmurs.

"Yeah."

I’m living in pure bliss. I step away slightly so she can slide my jacket off my shoulders. I take off my scarf myself and take my jacket to place it with my suitcase, which I had left by the door.

"Shall we unpack?"

"If you want, but there’s only one wardrobe."

"Is that a problem?"

I bite my lip, shaking my head. Oh no, not a problem at all. It’s more like a dream come true.

"No... We can share it."

"Good," she smiles. "It’s strange, isn’t it?"

"Yeah, totally," I giggle.

It’s unconventional, just like our relationship. We’re going to experience a lot of firsts here. The first thing is unpacking our things in this wardrobe. When we’re done, we still have a little time before heading down. So I flop onto our bed, spreading out like a starfish.

"Your shoes, sweetheart."

A smile spreads across my face, now that I’ve heard it. The situation doesn’t seem to amuse Lucy as much, judging by the look she’s giving me. I feel like a little kid sometimes.

"What’s making you smile like that?"

"The nickname. My God, the effect it has on me."

She raises an eyebrow with a small amused smile as I laugh.

"That doesn’t change the fact that you need to take off your shoes."

"Say it again, and I’ll take them off."

"That’s called blackmail."

"It’s not much. It’s either that, or you take off my shoes yourself."

"Fine, but it’ll cost you."

I hold out my foot with a silly grin. She takes off one shoe, then the other, letting them drop to the floor. Hers quickly join mine before she unexpectedly lies on top of me. I groan because she wasn’t delicate at all. Luckily, my bruises don’t hurt as much anymore, or I might have screamed in pain. She giggles as she kisses my nose.

"Sorry for being grumpy earlier."

"Don’t apologize. You have the right to be. You didn’t have the best morning," I say as I gently stroke her hair.

"You’re right, but still," she mumbles before sighing contentedly against my neck. "You didn’t need to put up with it."

She kisses my jaw softly before moving down to my neck. If she plans to apologize like this every time, I’m going to tell her she can be grumpy more often. In just a few weeks, she’s already discovered that this is one of my weak spots, at least from what she’s explored. She’s gotten into the habit of inflicting this sweet torture on me whenever she gets the chance in her room. I let out a surprised gasp when I feel her teeth nibbling at my skin before she sucks it between her lips.

"What are you doing?" I panic.

"Something I’ve never done but always wanted to try..."

"You’re not serious!"

I laugh as she continues. I don’t even try to push her away. Her hair tickles the tip of my nose. I let her finish as she soothes the small bite with her tongue. She kisses it before propping herself up on her elbows to admire her work with a proud smile.

"So, are you happy now?" I chuckle.

"Not bad for a first time," she laughs. "At least the receptionist will know you’re taken."

"I think he already figured that out, you know. Is this really the first time you’ve done that?"

"Yeah," she smiles.

"And you should know this is the first time I’ve ever gotten a hickey too."

"Really?" she raises an eyebrow. "I thought Mapi would’ve done that already."

"She did... But not in visible places, you see..."

"I’d rather not know. »

I bite my lip, understanding perfectly. Maybe this isn't the best topic for us to talk about together. She captures my lips one last time before standing up.

"What are you doing?" 

"I'm going to get ready. We need to head down soon," she informs me as she heads into the bathroom.

"Oh..." I sigh. "Maybe we should've taken a vacation just for the two of us after all."

I hear her laugh from the other room, which makes me smile.

"You say that, but you'll be the first one who doesn't want to leave at the end of this week."

"You're probably right."

"I am right," she asserts. "You love spending time with your friends just as much as with me."

"It's frustrating how well you know me."

I hear her laugh again. I decide to join her, leaning against the door frame. She's just closing her makeup bag. She’s put on some lipstick and probably a touch of mascara. I blush, thinking she looks stunning.

"What are you thinking about?" she asks with a teasing smile.

"Nothing... Just that you're very beautiful."

"Thank you. You're not too bad yourself," she compliments me, smiling even more.

I clear my throat as I straighten up. I'm not used to openly expressing what I think, and even less so to accepting compliments. Lucy seems to understand this because she changes the subject.

"Should I leave you the bathroom?"

"Please."

We switch places, and she takes the opportunity to plant a kiss on my lips. She stays by the doorframe while I touch up my makeup. Suddenly, she seems deep in thought.

"What's on your mind?" I ask.

She takes a soft breath and shrugs.

"I feel a bit guilty. I compared you a lot to Kiera at the beginning."

I stop what I’m doing. It's the first time she's mentioned Kiera since the night we got together. I never pushed her because she never did it with me, but I wanted her to bring it up at least once. It’s important that we talk about it. I just didn't expect her to do it now.

"Why feel guilty? I don’t blame you. We’re somewhat alike. We were both junkies," I joke.

She shakes her head and sighs. It seems my joke didn't have the intended effect. I move closer to her and place my hand on her cheek. She lifts her head with a sad expression on her face. I begin to wonder just how much she thought we were alike. Seeing her like this tugs at my heart. The emotions she's experiencing are pure sadness. I don’t know how to react. Normally, she’s the one who reassures me.

"Exactly. I was scared when you’d go home. Kiera never wanted to stop, even after she tried to quit. She kept going back, again and again, and I was so terrified it would be the same with you."

I have tears in my eyes as she begins to cry in front of me. I've never seen her like this. She usually controls her emotions so well. Her broken voice shows me just how deeply all of this affected her. Panicking, I desperately kiss her. My gesture seems to be well received by the way she returns the kiss. I end up pressed against the furniture, and our exchange is rough. I wrap my arms around her neck to pull her closer.

"I'm so sorry," she says between sobs.

"Hey, shh," I say, wiping her tears with my thumbs. "It’s okay, alright? Please stop, or I'll start crying with you."

She chuckles, resting her forehead against mine. I realize she just needed to let it all out.

"I'm not Kiera. It’s not your fault that she didn’t want to be saved. I promise you, drugs and I are definitely over. You’re the only thing I could ever want—"

I stop, realizing what I’ve just said. Did I really just say that? Lucy laughs, making me aware of the weight of my words.

"I-I... That’s not what I meant," I stammer, blushing.

"Yes, it is what you meant," she teases.

"It’s embarrassing," I say, looking everywhere but at her, which makes her laugh.

"Baby, I’d be worried if you didn’t want me or if you were thinking about someone else... That’s not the case, right?"

"No," I chuckle. "You’re the only one."

"Hmm..." she says with a playful tone. "You’d better be."

I gasp when she tugs on my earlobe. Unintentionally, I rise onto my tiptoes. She takes advantage of it to press me harder against the furniture. She moves down to my neck, continuing her sweet torture. Damn, she’s good at this. I realize our situation when a moan escapes me.

"I— Luce... Please."

My desperate plea makes her stop immediately.

"Are you okay?"

"I... Yeah... I-I just need to finish up so we don’t end up late."

She smiles, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Sorry, I got carried away."

"Oh no, don’t worry."

"No, I’m sorry. I promised to take it slow, and I intend to keep that promise."

I sigh, nodding. She noticed my struggle, and I feel a bit guilty.

"If it’s something you want—"

"No," she shakes her head. "We don’t need to rush things. You went through a tough time, so we’ll take it slow. Anyway, we’ve only been together for two weeks. We need to get to know each other."

"You’re right."

"As always," she smiles.

She kisses me before pulling away suddenly, leaving a void I never thought I’d feel.

"Hurry up and finish. The quicker we’re downstairs, the sooner we can get back to our bed."

I smile, watching her leave. I guess that means our conversation is over. I quickly finish getting ready before joining her in the bedroom to put my shoes back on.

"Can I borrow a sweater? I’m starting to get cold."

"You didn’t bring one?"

"I’d like one of yours if you don’t mind," I say, biting my lip.

"Of course not. Help yourself," she says, nodding toward the wardrobe.

I quickly find a plain black wool cardigan that matches my sweater. Once I’m ready, we finally leave our room hand in hand. Lucy keeps the keys, and I fully intend to let her take care of that for the entire trip. I’d probably lose them. We arrive in the lobby. Lucy guides me toward the hotel restaurant with her hand on my waist. It’s the first time we can act as a couple in a week, and I plan to savor these moments.

"Have you been here before?" I ask her curiously.

"We came here last year. We liked it so much that we decided to come back."

"Did you bring someone...?"

"I was in a relationship, but no."

I don’t hide my pleasure. I’m the first person she’s brought here. I feel special. A waiter greets us upon our arrival. Lucy asks for the table that Jenni reserved for us. Once he finds it, he leads us there. Only Jenni and Alexia are already seated.

"I thought you’d be the first ones here," Jenni says. "You’re slipping, Luce," she teases.

"I have a girlfriend who’s not very punctual," she laughs.

"Hey! It wasn’t my fault this time! Besides, we’re on time, and it’s been a long time since I was last late."

"Thanks to whom?" she brags.

"I’m not going to respond to that provocation."

She chuckles as I slide onto the bench next to Alexia. Lucy takes the last available spot on the bench.

"Did you two get settled in well?" Jenni asks.

"It seems they did..." Ale hints with a smug smile.

I don't immediately understand where she's going with this until I see her staring at my neck. I blush and pull up the collar of my cardigan to hide Lucy's hickey. I regret not thinking to bring a scarf. Her smile widens, but she doesn’t say anything that might make us uncomfortable. We start chatting while waiting for the others. Lucy has decided to stick close to me tonight. Her hand rests on my thigh. I take advantage of this position by leaning into her as she talks mostly to Jenni. It’s clear they share a deep bond by the way they interact. Her friends gradually join us, bringing with them a lively atmosphere. Of course, the last ones to arrive are Mapi and Ingrid, who sit across from us.

“Now you know why I’m always late,” I say to Lucy. “Mapi’s the one who made me like this.”

“Why am I not surprised?”

“Hey, Lucy, instead of criticizing me, can we talk about how you went wild on my best friend? You're lucky she let you. I didn’t get that kind of treatment.”

I kick Mapi under the table, and she doesn’t hide her pain. I can’t believe she’s talking so openly about our relationship in front of our two girlfriends.

“Did you two date?” Aitana asks.

“Yeah, we were together, and I’m kind of annoyed to know that some people get more privileges than others!”

This time, she gets a smack on the back of the head from Ingrid.

“You're playing with fire, Girl. You’d better drop this conversation if you don’t want to sleep on the floor tonight.”

I bite my lip to suppress a smile when I see Mapi’s dismayed expression. This relationship must be quite different for her compared to her previous ones. Contrary to what I might have thought, Ingrid isn’t someone who can be easily pushed around. It’s surprising because I’ve always known Mapi as the dominant one in her relationships. That was the case with me, as she initiated everything, and I got the impression it was the same with Ana.

“Sorry, honey.”

“Hmm... Sure.”

“Hey, relax, guys,” Ale interjects. “Aren’t we here to have a good time?”

The girls across from us remain slightly tense until a waiter arrives to take our order. It’s the receptionist from this morning. He smiles at me timidly, but I don’t pay much attention.

“What are the specials again?” Ingrid asks.

“Uh, well…”

He flips through his little notebook. I deduce he’s a trainee from the way he’s handling things. He lists all the specials he’s noted down. Some of them sound pretty good.

“The first one was white wine, right?” Mapi asks.

“Yes, that’s correct,” he replies. “It’s slightly sweet, if that’s what you like.”

“Oh! That’s for us, Ona!” she exclaims, looking at me.

“Umm... Yeah.”

“That’ll be two glasses of white wine for the two of us,” Ingrid starts, pointing to Mapi and herself.

Everyone else makes their choices. The girls all opt for beers. Alexia orders the same as the girls, and then it’s our turn. I’m also tempted by the wine, but I’m not sure Lucy would appreciate me drinking alcohol.

“Scratch the glasses and bring us a bottle of white wine with five glasses,” Lucy beats me to it.

I glance at her from the corner of my eye. She smiles at me, gently stroking my hair.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Would you prefer something else?”

“Oh no, no… I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

“As Alexia said, we’re here to enjoy ourselves, right?”

“You’re right... Thank you.”

She smiles before kissing me. It’s the first time she’s kissed me in front of her friends, so it throws me off a bit. When we pull apart, the waiter has disappeared, and the others have resumed their conversation. We join in until the waiter returns with our drinks. I’m so caught up in my conversation with Ale and Mapi that I don’t notice him. But then a cold liquid splashes onto my thighs, making me jump.

“Sh-shit, shit, shit!” the waiter mutters under his breath. “I’m so sorry! It was an accident!”

“Damn it…” I sigh, standing up.

Drops are dripping onto the floor; I’m that soaked. He spilled the entire bottle on me. I’m going to smell like wine all evening because of him. Luckily, I’m not wearing anything white. Another waiter who saw the scene quickly comes over to scold the trainee, who starts to panic.

“I’m sorry, I’ll help you,” he says, stepping forward.

“I’ll take care of it,” Lucy intervenes, gently pushing him away.

I give him a sympathetic smile to reassure the trainee a little after my girlfriend’s attitude. On the other hand, I’m relieved that Lucy stepped in. It’s not like I would have been comfortable with strangers touching me. He takes a few steps back with a crestfallen look while Lucy wipes my pants with napkins.

“Please excuse him, miss. He’s new, still in training. He’ll be severely punished, I assure you.”

“It was an accident; it happens,” I say to lighten the mood.

I lower my eyes to Lucy, who sighs. Our eyes lock immediately. For a moment, I fear that grumpy Lucy is back. I run my hand through her hair at the nape of her neck to relax her. Her muscles do indeed loosen under my hand.

“You need to change. Otherwise, you’ll reek of alcohol all night.”

“Okay, I’ll go up.”

“Can we at least get the cost of a dry cleaning for her clothes?” she asks the waiter.

“Of course, and we’ll bring you a new bottle and offer a second one as compensation.”

“Good. So I suppose this young man won’t need to be fired if that’s what you were planning.”

The waiter simply nods in response to Lucy’s request. I don’t know much about the restaurant or hotel industry, but when something like this happens in movies, it’s usually the punishment that’s expected for the person. So I’m glad my girlfriend took the initiative and saved him from that. I wouldn’t have wished it on him.

“Alright,” she sighs. “Let’s go up.”

I take her hand that she offers and let her lead us out of the restaurant before she changes her mind. We head back to our room. I didn’t expect her to accompany me, but it’s nice of her. The first thing I do when the door shuts is kiss her. She growls, gently pushing me away.

“Take off your clothes before you jump on me.”

“I won’t comment on that innuendo.”

“It’s not my fault you have a dirty mind,” she challenges with a raised eyebrow.

“Sure,” I giggle, unbuttoning my jeans.

I sit down to remove them along with my shoes. I also take off Lucy’s cardigan, which got splashed.

“Can I jump on you now?”

She laughs, leaning in to kiss me again.

“You’re a hopeless case, Miss Batlle.”

“And you’re one to talk? I saw the way you looked at the waiter as we were leaving.”

“He deserved it,” she defends herself. “It’s the least after what he did to you.”

“He’s probably traumatized, poor guy.”

“Whatever. I saved his job, didn’t I? Now, hurry up and change so we can go back down.”

“Hmm... You know you don’t have to worry about him, right?” I ask as I head to our closet.

“Of course. Stop thinking I’m jealous of everyone,” she rolls her eyes, making me giggle.

I put on a new pair of jeans and end up changing into a warmer sweater to replace Lucy’s cardigan. When I’m done, I turn to see Lucy waiting for me on the bed, head tilted. She’s irresistible the way she looks at me. I’m really glad that almost all the scars Korbin gave me have disappeared. I can finally feel at least a little bit pretty for her. I join her to put on my shoes.

“Sorry about your cardigan.”

“There’s no need to apologize. We’ll just send everything to the dry cleaners.”

“Yeah. I didn’t know you were such a good negotiator.”

“Now you know,” she smiles. “Let’s head back down.”

I steal a kiss from her before we return to the restaurant. Everything has been cleaned up, and the bottles have been brought out for the girls’ enjoyment. The evening continues as usual until a discreet throat-clearing interrupts us. We all turn towards the receptionist, who looks like he’s in a state of panic.

“I-I wanted to apologize,” he starts, staring at his feet. “Th-that accident shouldn’t have happened… I didn’t mean to offend you or do my job poorly. I was clumsy a-and…”

The poor guy is scared to death. I imagine it’s his boss who sent him over.

“I-I also wanted to thank you for saving my job…”

“There’s no problem,” I reassure him warmly. “It’s already ancient history.”

“We’ll have the clothes returned to you tomorrow morning,” Lucy tells him.

“No, don’t worry about it. The housekeeper will take care of it when she cleans your room tomorrow morning. They’ve already been informed.”

He seems to relax since Lucy spoke. A friendly exchange takes place between them. He then leaves with a small smile on his face. That conversation must have reassured him. Our first evening resumes when a new waiter comes over to take our orders. I get the feeling we’ve become some sort of VIPs.

We were quickly served, and they offered us the aperitif. Conversations resumed about the activities we could do during our stay. I can tell we're going to have an amazing time with everything there is to do here. I plan to make the most of it, especially since this is our first vacation together with Lucy.

[riality-check]

more daisy jones-adjacent things. this time, they're finally starting to hate each other a little less.

parts 1, 2, and 3, for your reading pleasure. less drugs this time around, but way more talk about steve's ptsd. part 5. part 6. part 7.

ao3

Steve has never co-written anything before. All of his songs are his, from start to finish. Every note, every chord, every syllable is his invention, and he takes them all very seriously.

That's not to say that he doesn't accept help. He wouldn't be himself if he wasn't constantly bouncing ideas off of Robin and Dustin and Lucas, and he always has other people look it over and offer suggestions.

But the initial creation? That's all him. Steve likes that kind of control.

Writing with a band is very different. Eddie declares it, the song Steve pissed him off enough into writing, done after they've got lyrics and a lead guitar part.

"They'll write the rest," he says, like it's that simple.

Steve can't imagine letting go that much. In all honesty, he's scared shitless. He's never been good at being nice. Charming, yes. Nice, no. And he doesn't know how he'll be nice if the drum, bass, and rhythm guitar parts suck.

It's his song. Well, his and Eddie's, which is weird to think about, but still.

Steve has never co-written anything before.

And, to make matters worse, he fell asleep last night.

He knew it was coming. He's never made it past seventy-two hours, no matter how hard he tries or how high he gets. He knew it was coming, and he prepped as best as he could.

That didn't stop him from sleeping in three hour bursts, at max. Torn between the nightmares and the exhaustion and the crash, he freaked out, passed out, and repeated the cycle until he had to get up and go to the studio.

At least this time, last night, he was back in the Byers house. Scary as shit, with the initial confusion never fading, but it's the best of the nightmares he gets. Between the dogs and the torture, Steve's brain has plenty of worse things to torment him with.

Maybe he should be grateful, but he's never been good at dealing with what he's given.

This morning, he doesn't need to take anything. He's tired, but not that tired, and he's trying to give himself breaks when he can.

He doesn't want to die. He just wants to stay awake.

He has a coffee, though. That's mostly for the taste. His tolerance is shot to hell, so it's not like caffeine makes a real difference.

Steve walks into the studio, coffee in hand, and sees the band setting up and tuning their instruments. Jeff gives him a little wave, Gareth nods absently as he tightens his snare, and Archie positively beams.

"Steve, you're a saint," he says, a little mischief in his eyes. "Different chords, finally. I could kiss you."

Steve laughs and promptly cuts himself off when he sees Eddie staring at him.

"Do I have something on my face?" he asks once the silence has stretched on for too long.

"Why are you here?" Eddie asks bluntly.

Steve, notably, doesn't flinch back. He doesn't snap. He doesn't do anything that he would regret later.

He just says, steadily, "I can go if you don't want me."

He stands there, and he swallows back his hurt. He thought Eddie was finally warming up to him. He took Eddie's fighting words as an improvement from being ignored. And, as usual, Steve thought wrong.

"Hang on a sec," Jeff says. He sets his guitar down and stands between Steve and Eddie. "I said I wanted Steve on backing vocals for this."

"Is Steve not on backing vocals?" Gareth asks from the other side of the room.

"Far as I know, he is," Archie says with a pointed look at Eddie.

Eddie turns to look at Jeff instead. Steve watches their intense staring match and thinks about just walking out.

Before he can take the first step, Eddie says, "Fine."

"Fine what?" Steve can't help but ask.

"Stay."

Steve nods, but he turns to Jeff. "Are you sure? It's fine if-"

"I'm sure," Jeff says. "I think you wrote this song more for your register than mine."

"Oh, shit, I'm sorry-"

"Don't be," Jeff says. "I changed everything I can't hit, but I just want a little more support, you know?"

Steve looks around the little studio space, around at all the cables and amps and mics and instruments, and he counts. Then counts again.

"There's only four mics," he says.

Jeff picks his guitar back up and gives it a little strum. "Share with Eddie."

"What?" Eddie says, looking like he would rather walk out than do that.

"Nothing against you, Steve," Jeff explains, ignoring Eddie. "I'm just a big personal space guy. Can't focus otherwise."

Steve looks over at Eddie, still sitting, still scowling.

"Fine," he says, because he'll be professional, even if Eddie won't.

"You guys are fucking killing me," Chrissy says, and Argyle, the audio engineer next to her, nods in agreement. "Can we get this show on the road?"

Gareth gives them a little salute, one that Chrissy rolls her eyes at. "We all ready?"

"As we'll ever be," the rest of the band choruses.

Steve shrugs. "Yeah."

"You warm up?" Eddie asks, walking toward his mic.

Steve follows. "Never do."

Eddie rolls his eyes, but then Chrissy gives them the all-clear, Gareth counts them off, and they start.

And something switches.

Steve knew this would be higher energy. Different genre, different sound, whatever. But there's something fucking electric about playing with a band instead of being by himself in an iso booth, drilling vocals until he has a take he's happy with.

Recording with a band brings a different sort of energy. It creates a feedback loop, getting them higher, playing faster, sounding better.

Steve tells himself to back off. He's not the star of this show. He's been invited, and a quarter of the people in this room don't want him here.

But filling in the gaps has always come easy to him, and he gives the backing vocals his all.

And somewhere between the guitar solo and the end of the song, Eddie smiles at him for the first time.

It's quick, but it's blinding. Steve didn't think Eddie could smile until he does. It's quick as a flash and wide and feral and a little mean, but it's there, and it's directed at him.

But just like that, the first take is over. It was messy and imperfect, and as soon as it ends, Eddie is back to scowling at him.

But it's not as harsh. And that's how Steve knows that he wasn't imagining that little bit of something.

"Holy shit," Archie says, as soon as they're done. "This is gonna be a good song."

"It's gonna be a great song," Jeff says.

"I want more from Steve," Gareth adds, and the rest of the guys agree.

Even Eddie, however begrudgingly.

"Alright, boys," Chrissy says. "You've got the fun out of your systems. Let's focus and make some music."

Steve looks over at Eddie, who nods, however slightly. And he thinks, because he has never been able to kill hope a day in his life, that they could make a good team if Eddie could stop hating his guts.

[godessanonymous]

DR3 - Reminder

Request: No. Pairing: dom!daniel x bratty!reader Genre: just filthy ass smut thats all Summary: You and Daniel have been in a relationship for a while now, at a gala you decide to tease him a little, so he reminds you who you belong to ;) Warnings: use of bad language, toys, bondage, overstim, semi public sex.

Not proofread - 4.3k Words I have nothing to say for myself. This is filthy, like baaaddd but oh well hope yall enjoy.

You had started to work for Alpha Tauri about a year ago, that’s when you met Daniel Riccardo for the first time. A tall dark haired mystery of a man. You could never tell what his intentions were, mixed Signals all around. It started out with some harmless comments mostly complimenting you, then it turned into caring gestures like bringing you water after long Work hours in the paddock, getting you food when you didn’t have the time to do it yourself and at some point even driving you home. While you said you were friends neither of you could deny the tension that never actually left when you were around each other.

You had gone out to dinner a couple of times before but that was mostly with the team or just as friends. But this time it was different, Daniel had approached you after the race, he looked a lot more shy than his usual bubbly self made him seem. He politely asked whether you would like to go out with him that evening, you just looked at him confused before answering yes. His face lit up just enough for you to notice it, he said to pick you up at around 7.30 that evening and just sprinted off.

You were in your room at the hotel now, a pile of clothes stacked up on the bed from you deciding what to wear to tonight, you were still not sure, was this a date? How pretty did you have to look? After staring at yourself in the mirror for a bit you decided to go with something classic but not too over the top. You quickly did your makeup, since your outfit was simple you made your makeup look extra pretty.

Not too long after that he picked you up and took you to a cute restaurant not too far away. It was beautiful and that’s when he finally worked up the courage to talk to you about hist feelings toward you. You had to say you agreed, the way he looked at you, the way he was always so caring towards you made you slowly but surely fall for him. The night ended with a faint goodbye kiss and plans made for the next date.

All that happened around 6 months ago and Daniel had surprised you with a lot of things, but the most interesting thing was probably his preference when it came to sex. He was kinky, always down to try new things. He loved being in control. You had never done anything like that so a little hesitation came up in you when he proposed the idea of trying something new in bed. Despite feeling hesitant at first you quickly discovered how much you enjoyed his kinky fantasies, the more you tried the more things you found out turned you on extremely. Falling into submission gave you a form of freedom and forgetting about other struggles, even though you would eventually you also liked to be bratty, make him work for it. Sometimes even doing it in public just to get him worked up a little. He was insanely good at communicating what he wanted and what you were okay with, big on consent which is insanely important in these kinds of dynamics.

There came a day where you and him had attended a gala evening. A lot of influential people were there and it was a beautiful show to see all the artist and awards. You got a little bored tho, looking at the mad sitting across from you in a perfectly fitting black suit sipping on a glass of red wine. You had been throwing in little comments all evening, not listening to him and doing your little thing.

The show finished and you decided to go to the club/bar area for a bit and have another drink before going home. So you walked over to him. “ ill head over to the bar for a bit, tag along or come get me when you are ready love.” You whispered in his ear, he looked at you with his big brown eyes. “Sure, maybe ill come over later, just behave please.” You just smirked at him and walked away, Kika and Charlotte right by your side.

The bar was amazing, the drinks were too good not to drink  more and soon you got a little too excited and hit the dance floor with Kika. Soon someone stole you from Kika and an arm snaked around your waist, you didn’t recognize the man that was suddenly taking up your view but you certainly didn’t mind it. You decided to hit him with the “ I’m taken” right from the start. He just chuckled at responded “Don’t worry, I just wanna dance, my friends are making me feel single.” Nodding his head in the direction of a pair dancing. You chuckled and decided to go with it, making Danny just a tiny bit jealous would surely lead towards a pleasurable night for the both of you right?

The guy was nice but once you spotted Daniels eyes basically piercing through your body you said goodbye and returned to the bar to order another light drink. You were a little drunk but not too much to lose control. You chatted with a guy sitting next to you a little bit before an arm draping over your shoulder made you look up into the face of a fired up Daniel. “Lets go home, looks like someone needs to be reminded who she belongs to.” He hissed into her ear just loud enough for her to hear it. Her heartbeat fastened and she awkwardly excused herself from the bar. Daniel was holding onto her waist tightly as they made their way through the crowd of dancing and chatting people.

He had called a uber and roughly pushed you down in the black seats of the car when it arrived. Once on the way to your destination you decided to throw caution to the wind and placed you hand on his thigh, slowly moving your way up. His big hand enclosed around yours and lifted it of his leg. “Oh love don’t do that, you’ve been working me up all night, hope you are ready for what is waiting for you. I’ll have you begging soon enough.” He said quietly and it made your heart jump in excitement.

The door clicked shut behind you and it took less than a second for his hands to grab your wrists and pin them above your head. Your breathing started to speed up as his body pressed you flush against the wall and his breath lightly caressing over the delicate skin of your neck. “You have no idea how much trouble you’re in pretty…” he said as his teeth sink into the skin of your neck. “What… I was having fun, nothing happened, I had a great time. Why should I be in trouble?” you asked innocently. He let go of your hands, one moving to your throat and one to your ass instead. He put just the slightest amount of pressure around your air way. A breathy whisper: “you know exactly what you did baby, you wanted this, so game on let’s see how long you can keep that attitude up little lady.” Shivers of anticipation ran down your spine. Hand still on your neck he slowly guided you towards the bed. He gently placed you in the middle of it. “Stay where you are. Clothes off.” Is all he said before he disappeared into the walk in closet to retrieve some goods for the night.

You decided to comply to a certain extent, dress off but the lacy underwear staying on your body as you moved under the blankets covering up your half naked body, acting like you were gonna sleep. It took a second before he returned, a box in hand. Seeing you didn’t follow his commands made a little fire light inside of him, he shot forward pulling the blankets off you before deciding you were not anywhere close to behaved tonight. Quickly grabbing your wrists cuffing them to the a bedpost rendering your hands unable to do anything. Daniel stood back up admiring your body laying on the perfectly white bedsheets. “So, since you seem to want it so bad, lets have some fun. But firstly color baby.” “Green”, “Game on the love.”

The tall Aussie settled between your legs, hand on your  lower stomach to stop you from moving under his touch. He began trailing kisses down your body, hands following with the lightest touch.

You were already starting to get desperate for him feeling the stubs of his short beard rub against your skin. Trying to spur him on a bit you stuck out your chest a bit, he chuckled, finally moving on of his hands to slowly massage your breast making a soft moan escape your lips. “Already turned on huh love” he said stopping right above your belly button just hovering there for a second before moving up the length of your body in one quick motion. One hand lingered on your throat the other was now drawing small circles up your thighs.  His lips crashed into yours dominantly making you gasp for air every chance you got. Daniel used the opportunity to enter her mouth with his tongue eagerly exploring it. You spilled a small moan into him has his hand moved over where you needed him most. Light fingers stopping on your clit, slightly pressing down, just enough to make you need some friction badly. The position didn’t allow you to do so, your lips escaped a tiny whimper. His weight lifted off your body as he sat up and dragged your pretty red panties down your legs. They flew somewhere to the ground next to the bed. The driver dragged a finger through your wet folds making you squirm. “Already all wet for me? So easy…” he murmured, wetting his finger and suddenly pushing it inside of you. His grip on your hips was impossible to move against holding you down. Quickly followed a second finder and you could already feel the knot in your core starting to build as he started moving painfully slow, curling his digits in just the right places. Your legs wrapped around his waist trying to relive some of the pressure you felt. A soft “Please” escaped your lips. “We have barely even started yet and you are already a whimpering mess, for that big attitude its surprisingly easy to have you in shambles don’t you think?” He responded with a grin on his face, you were slowly getting closer to the edge. That’s when he pulled out, you whining at the sudden loss of sensation. The weight on the bed shifted as the Aussies reached over to the box still resting on the bedside table and pulled out something you couldn’t quite identify, It looked like a bullet but it was a little too big for the ones you had seen and used before. He didn’t waste any time as he took the small vibrator and pressed it into you, it had a weird shape, one side resting fairly deep inside of you the other moving up around to your clit in a u-shape. Its small nature making it easy to slide in, yet it still took you off guard feeling it.

Danny held up a remote and smiled as he pressed a button making the device come to life. You gasp, it felt so good stimulating two spots at the same time. The Pleasure was insane. You were close again quickly not being able to form a coherent thought. As you were just about to release the buzzing stopped, making you let out a frustrated groan. Meanwhile Daniel got off the bed and freed your hands from the cuffs, keeping them together. He tossed a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie in your direction. You were confused what on earth was he planning on doing. “Get dressed. We are going on a walk.” As it slowly dawned on you, your punishment was not getting to come, you hated it so much. His dark eyes looked at you warningly as you reached between your legs. “leave it where it is” Your eyes widened. Hesitantly you got up and put on the clothes he had tossed your way.

He lead you to the elevator and down onto the sidewalk of the road along your building. It was almost 12AM on a week day so no one was around this area anymore. You could still feel the u shaped vibe between your legs and you started walking, Daniel didn’t say anything so you just followed him. After a couple of meters he finally started talking. “So I have a challenge for you hun. We are going to take a walk and ill have some fun with our little friend here, if you manage to keep walking and not be loud maybe ill rethink my decision on not letting you finish today.” He smirked. “Color baby” “Green”.

He started on the lowest setting, it was pleasant, stimulating but nowhere near strong enough for you, every corner you passed he went up a level. At level 4 is when it started to be a challenge, the constant friction of your walking and the vibration between your legs making it hard to not atleast breath heavier. You knew he route the two of you were walking in the cold breeze, you’d do this a lot when you were in need of fresh air, it wasn’t long but you still had a good bit to go when the knot started to build in the middle of your core. Reaching level six you were struggling to keep up with Daniels Pace, desperately clinging to his arm as you passed another corner, you only had 2 to go, your breathing got heavier and Daniel gave you a challenging look as you gripped his arm even tighter as the pressure increased. You were approaching the door of the building as you felt your legs starting to give out. You bit your bottom lip trying not to make any noise. Daniel just watched you enjoying your struggle. Your nails dug into his skin as you reached the door, letting out a heavy sigh once you were inside. “Good Girl.” He whispered into your ear and you couldn’t help but feel proud that you had managed. Or so you thought. The buzzing hadn’t stopped. It just went down to a pleasant humming, not allowing you to get any further in your need to finish.

The ride up to the apartment was quiet, too quiet. He pushed the door open and closed in a quick motion hungrily biting marks into your shoulder as he pushed you onto the bed, stripping your clothes of in the process. “Time to teach you manners kitten.” He said reaching for you arms and you could feel the semi soft rope slowly tighten around them as he started to form a harness around your entire body. You wanted to move, be bratty but you were too deep into submission already to stop him from doing what he does best. Hands locked in place behind your back, legs spread and secured by a rope connecting to your back you were unable to move anymore, enjoying the feeling of anticipation of what he would do next.

He rid himself of his shirt, you admired the muscles of his chest in awe. The wonderful sight was soon taken from you as a blindfold slipped over your eyes, vision going black. “Before I go on with making you regret being bratty, do you remember your safe word love?” He asked with a beautiful gentleness in his voice. You nodded. “I need you to say it.” “Tulips” “Good Girl.”

You heard the box moving and the U Toy leaving your body in the same second, you were about to protest when the emptiness was replaced by a lubed up dildo pressing into  your middle. You couldn’t hold the loud moan escaping your lips as he pushed it in inch by inch. You wondered how big it was, you couldn’t see it so you never saw it coming when it started vibrating making you scream in surprise. It had bottomed out by now, hitting everything deep inside your core. Moving it a little bit Daniel started to kiss your tense body all over, you were trying to move with the pressure getting too much but your restrains simply didn’t allow you to. Daniel moved to your breasts starting to suck on one of your nipples, you whimpered at the pleasure spreading through your body. “Danny- Please… please can I come.” That’s when the buzzing stopped and he pulled of your chest. You let out a whine. “You know the rules, only good girls get to come. Why don’t you apologize for your actions first.” The toy came to life again and you let out a scream. You tried to form words but couldn’t get them out. “Use your words.” He said teasingly, turning his attention back to your boobs. “im- i- Im sorry okay Danny, I wanted to make you jealous-“ is all you could say before the pleasure took your ability to speak again. “Is that so?” You were one second away from falling over the edge when he pulled completely off of you. “UGRH you dick I was so close.” “I know, but I have to finish preparing you properly, don’t I? And don’t give me that attitude if you expect to finish today.” He said, his voice dropping and the tone not leaving any room for argument. You swallowed heavily. You were so desperate.

His hands moved down your body once again as he loosened the knots around you ankles giving you a little bit of your freedom back. He rolled you over onto your stomach placing a pillow below your hips to make it a little bit more comfortable for you. Knees pressed open to your sides Dann had perfect sight of your third hole. Instead of working something in like you thought he would you screamed at the stinging sensation as his hand lands flat against your ass. You screamed, Tears pooling in your eyes. “One..” SLAP “two” … “Ten.”

By the time he was done you were a sobbing mess, the pain feeling equally as bad as good. His rough hand slowly moved across your sore cheeks making you whine even more. “You took that so well. I think its time to move on to something more fun.” He said, sliding a finder up and down your middle.

You already new it was coming, but you still jumped at the sudden sensation of the metal plug against your slit. Moving up and resting on your asshole. It was a little bit cold but you liked that as a contrast to your burning, sweaty body. “Do you think you can do it?” Daniel asked. “Yes Sir, I can.” You answered now fully committing, no more games. He pulled the blind fold off your eyes, squinting trying to ajust to the half lit room. “I want you to look at me while I work it in.” he said  already massaging the tip of it in. You forced your eyes to stay open and on the gorgeous man behind you. He had pulled his shorts down along with the boxers and you could see his hard length as he stroked it while working the plug at the same time. He took it slow, the stretch burning impossibly hard as he slowly made his way in. A loud moan escapes your lips as it slides home the big of it resting inside you now. Daniel whispers a quiet fuuccckk before sliding the dildo back inside you moving it in and out at a good speed now. You moaned his name as the fake dick pushed against the metal in your ass with every time it slipped in. The vibrations jumped to a all time high and pleasure got almost to much to take. “Danny please can I cum?”

 “you know what mouse, ill give you a choice, either you stand your punishment like this and get to cum once later, or ill let you come but ruin you till you cant come anymore. Hm? Take your pick, you’re gonna be a mess in the end anyway.” He said, knowing both options were going to be torture in the best way for you. You couldn’t even get your mouth to open and Daniel to decide for you as he slammed the toy in all the way. Making you come on the spot, it was the hardest you ever released. You screamed his name in pleasure and you body wanted to move so bad but the firm hand on your ass and the rope around you body kept you from doing so. The high of our O made your mind foggy and make you feel floaty. The male didn’t stop moving, he worked out all the way through the orgasm making you moan even louder with the overwhelming sensitivity of your body. He slowed down for a second as you began to come down from your high. “How many do you think I can pull out of you today? Lets do 4 more shall we?” That is when you realized what you had gotten yourself into, if they were all this intense you wouldn’t make it past number 2 without passing out.

He loosened the rope and it fell of your body as he rolled you back on your stomach. “Stand up.” He commanded, you gave your best to comply standing on shaky legs. You still had strength but the slight aftershocks of your orgasm where still rocking through you. He sat on the side of the bed and tapped on his thigh signaling you to sit down. You comply glad not having to stand anymore. “You wanna cum kitty, go ahead, get of on my thigh then.” He said, looking at your desperate eyes. Slowly you start to move against him, his flexed thigh muscles giving you the perfect pressure against your clit.

You were breathing heavy , trying to get enough air in your lungs to recover after your forth orgasm of the day. Quiet pleas falling from your lips. “I need you Danny” you whispered. “You will get me love, I cant wait any longer. Color?” “green” you pant, you were a mess, body hurting impossibly but the pleasure was bigger than your urge to rest. You needed him inside of you. He wanted to come as well. Not wanting to wait any more he fished a condom out the box and covered his hard cock with it. Back on your stomach he moved one of your knees over his shoulder basically folding you. Without further waiting he slipped inside of you, despite all the preparation of today he still stretched her far, he finally bottomed out and slowly started to pick up pace the angle making the feeling of him even more intense, he was rough, demanding and you could feel he was close. His fingers found your already overstimulated clit and started drawing slow circles around it, you were so close again and you felt him twitching as well. “please Danny, I need to come” you panted not sure how long you could hold on anymore. “Beg for it love, beg.” He said, even though he was impossibly close as well. You looked at him with foggy eyes, “please Daniel, ill be good- please- I need you-“ You whimpered. “together…fuck” he moaned realizing he cant put it off any longer as your walls clenched around him and he combusted shortly after, both your bodies shaking. “Oh my baby I love you.” You said as your body started to slowly come down from the overwhelming last high that left you almost light headed. Your body went limp.

He pulled out of you panting heavily. Before you could fall limp against the pillows he flipped you over and swiftly and painlessly as possible pulled out the plug that had rested there for the night. It hurt but not bad, you felt empty without the toys in you. but you appreciated the calm As you rested against his sweaty chest. You stayed like this for a couple of minutes until he got up grabbing two towel from the bathroom as well as a bottle of water. He returned to bed starting to clean you up, even the soft touch of the towel making you squirm a bit. “You did so well love, well done.” As he cleaned you up and lifted the water to your lips while cleaning himself up. You were thankful for the cool liquid making your throat feel so much better. You passed it back to him as he got up again and quickly washed off the toys before returning back to bed. Your mind was still all foggy and with the little you had left in you, you moved closer to him, his arms closing around you protectively while he whispered praises in your ear. Kissing you softly. After he noticed you returned to reality a little bit more he asked how you were doing, you just smiled at him and said “that was amazing dan, so Great but everything hurts” He couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Yeah that’s the point. Are you gonna behave now?” You shook your head and both laughed. His hand was stroking your hair and you slowly fell asleep listening to his heartbeat.

As much as he liked being rough, and dominant he also loved taking care of you after, its what you both needed.                                                                                                                                          

i told you... if you made it to the end, congrats your mind is as dirty as mine. As always feel free to request any driver x reader pairing. im open for anything.

[kitthepurplepotato]

Week 6 part 4 - A little accident. 🌄

Summary: Y/N and the gang goes on a hike. Accidents tent to happen on hikes; but is it really an accident if it feels nice, though?

Also, the chair (?!) finally speaks up.

One fly was harmed during the making of this chapter.

Warnings: Swear words, sex jokes, minor character death (RIP Ben the fly)

First Chapter Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

The morning comes way too soon; you wake up to a commotion outside, mostly Katsuki yelling profanities at everyone who dares to come close to “his kitchen”. You try to move around and roll to your other side to not face the sound but something is in your way; or to be exact… someone.

This is when it hits you… you’ve slept with Deku.

No, not like that, even though the intimacy of sharing one single sleeping bag is almost on the same level. You definitely won’t have a problem drawing a realistic Deku from now on; you are quite sure your back molded into the shape of his front by the way he has held you tight the whole night. It’s actually quite endearing how he managed to keep his hold this strong while sleeping.

“Izu, are you still sleeping?” You mumble, caressing his hand with your thumbs to wake him up.

“5 more minutes.” He mumbles back, pulling you even closer.

“Izu, you’re suffocating me.” You giggle. “I’m not a villain, you don’t need to hold me down.”

“Sorry, I don’t really know how to hold people in a normal way.” He sighs and lets you free, but this is not what you wanted! You take his hands into yours and move them to your chest then snuggle back into him with your butt to be as close as possible without touching in inappropriate places; you are not even sure why are you trying so hard to be honest, because you did touch at those places through the whole night. It took you a good hour to be able to properly sleep thanks to it.

“You do know. You did it until now.” You smile. “And you did such a good job I really don’t want to get up.” You giggle with your face on fire; you definitely over share right now and it must be really awkward for him in this position and…

“Me neither.” He sighs. “I want to wake up like this every day.”

“Izu…” You want to tell him. You want to tell him so much… Thankfully, Izuku jumps into your words before you could finish your sentence.

“I do have a banging headache though and I’m in an urgent need of water.” He laughs, hiding his face in your neck, ashamed of himself.

“No alcohol for you today, young man.” You reprimand, but you can’t stop the laugh bubbling up; your first day was definitely eventful and awkward, but honestly, you wouldn’t change it for the life of you.

~•🥦•~

Coming out of the tent is awkward as hell. First of all, after you two manage to untangle your limbs and get out of the sleeping bag you both see a message on your phone with a picture of you sleeping together, you in Midoriya’s tight embrace while you both smile like two idiots. Needless to say, it’s really hard to look into Midoriya’s eyes after seeing that picture and the same goes for him; he does his best to avoid eye contact with you on the way to the gang who makes sure to make the situation even more awkward by wearing a shit eating grin as you to reach your destination.

“Look who decided to join us on this lovely morning?” For your surprise, Jirou is the one getting a head start on the bully-train. The fucker.

“Awww, you two were so sweet!” Ochako says with a dreamy face.

“Yeah, it was so sweet how we all looked for this motherfucker thinking his drunk ass might have drawn in the fucking river.” Katsuki grumbles begrudgingly, clearly unimpressed by his friend’s shenanigans.

“I’m sorry…” Midoriya looks so sad you really want to snuggle into his side but that really wouldn’t help with the teasing, wouldn’t it?

“Also, wanna have the condoms back? Looks like you might need it more than I do.” The shit eating grin on Katsuki’s face can be seen even from Mars. You roll your eyes, not taking the blonde seriously but for your surprise, Deku stays silent for a few seconds, clearly deep in thoughts and when he comes back to reality his whole face becomes the color of Eijirou’s hair. The whole gang starts laughing like a maniac, not believing the sight; you still don’t understand what’s the fuss about.

“Shit, he actually thought about it. The horny fucker!” Sero retorts and that’s when it hits you; you look at Midoriya questioningly but you swear you can see steam coming out of his ears when he locks his eyes with yours and his red color gets even darker… and so is yours.

“Mind your language, Sero-kun!” Iida tries to reprimand but his voice gets lost between all the giggles and laughs.

“Izu…?”

“I-I didn’t!” Izuku yells, but his body language speaks volumes; Midoriya Izuku is a terrible liar.

“But you’ve imagined it. You fucking did, bro. I can see it in your eyes!” Kaminari adds helpfully. This is bad. Really bad. Midoriya might explode. You need to help him. But how?!

“Midoriya is a healthy young man who just shared a tent with a lovely lady, it’s perfectly normal to have those thoughts!” Iida tries again and bless him, he is such a lovely soul.

“Tenya , you are not helping but thank you.” Midoriya mumbles, his face hidden in his hands.

“Guys, enough! You are making them uncomfortable!” Momo speaks up. “Let them breathe.”

You really want to kiss her right now.

“Let’s have some breakfast in peace then go on a hike. You all have way too much energy today.” Shouto mumbles, sipping his morning coffee like it’s the elixir of life.

“Aww, look at the freshly married couple ganging up on us, so cute!” Kaminari starts up again and the whole group sighs in unison. “What? I wasn’t teasing Zuku this time!” He looks around with pleading eyes.

“Oh my god, just shut up!” Kyouka yells, and finally there’s peace.

~•🥦•~

“Y/N, I’m so sorry for overstepping my boundaries last night.” Izuku mumbles as the whole gang makes their way towards the highest point of the forest; it’s not an easy hike, the ground is full of loose stones and random pieces of wood to stumble on. “I swear I didn’t think about anything like that while touching you. I was just happy to be so close to you. It won’t happen again. I’m sorry.” He continues as he takes your hand to help you through a complicated area.

“Izuku, I was literally the one who initiated that yesterday you just don’t remember.” You roll your eyes affectionately. Deku looks at you with a surprised look.

“Really?!”

“Yeah.” You giggle. “I was the one who pulled you into the tent. Then I was cold so you asked me if I want to share your sleeping bag and I said yes. So technically, I should be the one saying sorry.”

“Don’t be. I really liked it.” Midoriya scratches the back of his head shyly, a pretty little blush blossoming on his pretty little face.

“Me too.” You admit and if Izuku’s hand stays in yours through the rest of the journey, that’s no one’s fucking business.

The hike ends up to be a lot of fun; everyone jokes around, sharing stories from past hikes and reminiscing about random memories with each other; Kyouka finds her way next to you, taking your other hand and swinging it happily and you feel like a kid again; it’s so pure and so safe you can’t believe this is reality. When the group gets to the peak, no one says a word; the view is breathtaking, you can’t help but listen to the rustle of the trees and the sound of the wildlife nearby, there are no cars, no sounds of a city or a town, it’s just nature and it’s natural calmness filling your soul with infinite happiness. You can see the river and your camping site from here, but it’s so far away, tiny little blotches of vibrant color in the sea of green and brown. You take a deep breath and the crisp air fills your lungs; it’s so much cleaner than the air in the city, cold and tasteless yet so fulfilling.

After a few minutes of silence the group wakes up from their stupor and the chatting continues; everyone goes back to their usual banter while you stand on the edge, mesmerized by the sight.

You can feel someone’s hand on your cheek; it’s large and warm like a hot cup cup of tea in the middle of the winter, small callouses tickle your skin pleasantly with every move. You look to your right side, but there is something in the way; a pair of lips find their way to yours, careful and attentive; it only moves once before moving away gently, making sure the sudden movement doesn’t ruin the calmness of the forest.

“That’s not what I intended to do.” Midoriya whispers, still close and that’s when the reality hits you; you get out of your stupor in a matter of milliseconds, staring at the greenette with eyes the size of saucers. The chatting dies down in the background and someone makes a noise but you can barely hear it in the little bubble of yours. You look up at Izuku, to his face full of freckles and blotches of pink on either side of his cheeks; instead of the awkwardness it just feels right, to be this close, to feel his breath on your lips as he mumbles a sorry. He moves closer again, but his lips brush past yours and leaves a tiny kiss on your cheeks, just as soft as the first one on your lips was.

“This is what I wanted to do.” He whispers with a smile on his face which you can feel on your cheeks as he still didn’t move away.

“Are you fucking shitting me?” Kaminari mumbles in the background but his voice is overtaken by the sound of the wind.

“They’ve just kissed haven’t they.” Uraraka gawks but no one answers; they just stare at the two of you in silence but somehow, the attention can’t ruin the moment; it feels like you two are somewhere else, in your own little wonderland and it’s really hard not to act on your whims in this world full of pink clouds and cotton candy; you want to close the distance, leave a reassuring kiss on Izuku’s mouth, tell him it’s not enough, it’ll never be enough, the taste of his lips is addicting, like a drop of water in the middle of the desert after not drinking for a day… but instead you mumble…

“It’s fine, Izu. I moved into it. Sorry.”

“I didn’t mind… I mean, yeah. Accidents happen.”

You could probably cut the tension in the air so you decide to make the first move of stepping away, the pink, fluffy clouds crumbling to pieces as you do so. You give the hero a reassuring smile, ignoring the mess of emotions swirling in his beautiful green eyes that fits into the colors of the trees so perfectly, making him look like a guardian spirit of the forest; otherworldly and mesmerizingly beautiful as the sun hits his irises just right, golden swirling together with the vibrant green.

“You are not real.” You mumble without a second thought, words bursting out of your mouth without consent.

“I assure you, I am. And so are you, even if it’s hard to believe.” Izuku smiles, caressing your jaw with his thump.

“I didn’t know you can do that with your friend.” Shouto mumbles in the background.

“You certainly can’t, Shouto.” Iida chimes in.

“Okay, shitheads, the view is up here, not there, let the fuckers be oblivious and move on!” Katsuki yells, also standing on the edge a few meters away. His loud voice finally bursts your bubble completely and you both come down from your high with a few deep breaths.

“Katsuki, that was so manly. I love you.” Kirishima grins and you can’t help but giggle at Katsuki’s red face.

“Shut the fuck up you talking rock.” Katsuki grumbles and makes his way down the cliff begrudgingly. “Okay extras, move your asses I’m fucking hungry.”

The group moves on without a single a world and Kyouka takes your hand to pull you with her.

“So how was your first kiss?” She grins and you are sure your face is brighter than the tomatoes in your garden.

“It was an accident!” You whine but she only laughs at that.

“Yeah, he also accidentally forgot to move away and kept his lips on yours for several seconds. Right.”

“That did not happen!”

“It did. Ribbit.” Tsuyu-Chan jumps of a tree right in front you.

“Me and who?!” You can hear Ashido moan in the background and you hide your face behind your hands.

This is gonna be a long journey.

~•🥦•~

When the dinner is ready, the whole team makes their way to the fire pit. The rest of the day went past really quickly; Izuku and Katsuki decided to have a spar in the woods, jumping and flying between the trees. Izuku giggled happily while Katsuki grumbled aggressively the whole time. You really love when One for All crackles around Izuku, the color is so beautiful and it complements the colors of the forest so perfectly. Katsuki’s explosions looked like fireworks, a hint of light in the darkening sky as the sun slowly sets.

You are just about to start to eat when you feel something moist and slimy hitting the back of your head. You look around the group and there is an uncomfortable silence; Iida has his face in his hands, Ashido tries her best not to laugh and someone giggles but you can’t seem to find the person who made the noise. Weird.

“Spit it out. Now.” Ochako reprimands, her hands open in front of Tsuyu-Chan. Tsuyu looks constipated, moving her head left to right in protest. “Tsuyu…” Finally, Tsuyu spits out a fly right into Ochako’s hands with a face full of guilt. Ochako looks at the poor dead fella then throws it into the fire with a straight face. “Rest in peace, Benjamin the 323rd.” She cleans her hand with a towel and continues eating like nothing had happened while the whole group mumbles “rest in peace” in unison. Kyouka cleans your head with a paper towel and continues eating as well. You are out of words. It’s not every day that you get slapped in the head by a human/frog tongue.

“Eww!” Someone mumbles but no one’s lips move; that’s when Katsuki stands up and stares at the empty chair with pure rage.

“You cheeky little fuck!” Katsuki yells at the… chair?! And the chair starts to shake. What the fuck is happening?! This is too much for your little quirkless brain.

“You’ve been here the whole time?!” Shouto looks at the chair with questioning eyes and the chair answers. What the fuck.

“You never invite me!” The chair yells and there is guilt on Shouto’s face.

“Awww!” Ochako comes over to the chair and hugs… something.

“Okay, what’s happening?!” You finally speak up, utterly confused. Izuku giggles and looks at you with fond eyes. Your ovaries scream murder, but you blissfully ignore it.

“Ahh, this is Toru Hagakure! She’s invisible. Ribbit.” Froppy says.

“You might know me as Invisible Girl! Nice to meet you, Y/N!” She says with a preppy voice.

“Someone get this bitch a hoodie!” Katsuki yells, looking at the girls. Momo rolls her eyes at that and makes a bunch of clothing with her quirk, underwear and all.

“You are the best!” Hagakure yells and leaves towards the tents to put her clothes on; when she comes back you can’t help but smile; it’s so weird to actually see her after talking to a chair for a good 10 minutes.

“Where did you sleep last night?” Iida asks with a worried expression on his face.

“Well, I wanted to use the spare tent but then Zuku stepped on me so I ended up in Kyouka’s tent.”

“That’s why I stumbled?! I’m so sorry!” Deku blushes and goes towards the walking hoodie and hugs it. Hagakure hugs him back right away.

“It’s fine, Zuku.” She says. “I ship you guys so much.” Hagakure whispers menacingly into the hero’s ear who gets red as a lobster.

The rest of the night goes quick; you sleep in your own tent this time, leaving your green haired roomie behind after a quick little kiss on his cheeks. The next day is all about packing up and traveling back home; the whole gang sits at the front this time, chatting and laughing while Izuku sleeps on your shoulder with zero care in the world.

Seeing his face so peaceful and vulnerable really makes you wanna mumble a quiet I love you on his lips but you try to ignore the sudden urge.

You two went way past the friend zone at this point to ignore this for much longer, but that’s a problem for another day.

~•🥦•~

“Hey boss, I have something tell you!” Kirishima skips over to his friend Shouto while the rest of the team makes their way to the bus. Katsuki looks at him questioningly and stops a few meters away from the two to give them some privacy.

“Uhm, okay. How can I help you?”

“So, you know, our tent… you should get a new one.” Kirishima whispers into his ear. Shouto looks bamboozled first then a little bit disgusted but he schools his face after a few seconds.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, man!” Kirishima grins and makes his way towards the bus. He’s really proud of himself right now.

~•🥦•~

“Ei, why is Shouto burning our tent?” Katsuki stares the redhead next to him. He can smell bullshit in the air and it’s coming from his goofy roommate. He really want to kick his stupid face sometimes.

“I told him to burn the tent.” Kirishima says innocently. “He wanted to get a new one for ages so I decided to give him the final push.”

Katsuki is fuming. This motherfucker…

“You imbecile, you know you just implied that we had sex in the fucking tent, which we did NOT do.” Katsuki yells, but the group around them doesn’t even bother looking up to see what it is about. Thank god.

“What?!”

“Oh my god, why am I friends with you?!” Katsuki sighs. “Do you remember what Shouto said about the tents?”

Katsuki can see the light bulb lighting up on top of Kirishima’s head. He’s the stupidest man the world has ever seen.

“Tell me if you fornicate in the tent so I can burn it.” Kirishima mumbles guiltily, doing his best puppy impression to not get killed. Katsuki takes both of Kirishima’s cheeks into his hand and stares into his eyes with fury.

“What are you, Kirishima?!”

“An idiot sandwich.”

Somehow this is the time the team decides to look up towards the two.

“You know man, I love you both and I really don’t have any problems with this whole shenanigan, but you two can be really fucking gay sometimes.”

With that said, Sero had to tape himself to the bus to be able to get home after Katsuki threw him out of the window.

…Next Chapter!

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Potato rambles:

- I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it’s one of my personal favorites. I feel like this camping trip will change a lot of things for these two. How long will it take for Deku to sneak into your bed at night? I give him one fucking day. How long it will take for you two to finally get your shit together? An eternity. Or not. You’ll see. :D

- The next chapter has a tiny bit of angst in it, I’m sorry in advance! It’s all for a good cause.

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated as always! 💚🥦

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Taglist: @porusuniverse @stickygumchewer @sixxze @mily-moo @momothemasocist @aymasakusa @kastuari @kenzie-deadly @shiviwrites07 @lukerycyja-reblogs @cloroxisadelectabletreat @coffeent @kisskissshutmydoor @bobcar1 @yazminetrahan @cringefan @ronimacaroni77 @thekookiecorner @dangerousluv1 @emperatris-rinaka

(If you haven’t been tagged but your name is here, check your settings because I can’t tag you, cheers)

[equallyshaw]

the first time they said i love you's | rutger x rose hughes au! ⚘ blurb. ⚘ au masterlist.

rutger and rose had officially been dating for 6 months, 2 of which were behind everybody's back. and truth be told, it was so that they could figure everything out without feeling any pressure or feelings. rose had just gotten back to madison for senior year of college and had settled into her and her best friend laila's apartment, near campus. her and rutger hadn't left ann arbor on the best of terms, unfortunately. as he was moving into his senior year hour with some of his friends, the two had gotten into somewhat of an argument. the argument you ask? stupid. plain and simple.

rose had decided that the back and forth was not worth any more aggravation, so she hopped onto i-90 and drove straight through the six hours without answering his phone calls or text messages. he got luke to call her, but she didn't say anything substantial to him.

rose and finally got into her freshly made bed, after devouring a bowl of ramen and dumplings with laila; and the two were calling it a night. she sighed turning onto her side to turn off her lamp, before shutting her eyes. she fell asleep sometime later, before being abruptly woken up by laila. rose flinched in a panic, "whats going on?" she asked immediately, searching her best friend for any answers. laila gave her a grin before walking out of the room and left the door open. rose called for laila to close it and without a response, she rolled her eyes; getting up to do it herself. rose took a few steps before stopping in her tracks, not believing who was in front of her right now.

rut.

"rutger?" she questioned as her eyebrows creased, along with her nose - that rutger found adorable. he held a bouquet of red tulips and a card. rose opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out - as she digested her shock. rutger shut the door behind him and walked closer to her, before she stepped back a step. "what are you doing here?" she questioned, still in disbelief. rutger sighed, "i was being an ass to you rose. you didn't deserve to leave upset with me, especially since i was being an idiot," he paused as her hand inched towards the bouquet and he gave it to her with a smile. "i shouldn't have let you leave like that and after a good talking from the boys, i knew i had to drive up here. especially since we won't see each other for two months." he finished and she took the card from him with a small smile. she set it down next to her on the bed, before pulling in rutger for a hug. despite her being 5'9 - she still had to stand on her tippy toes almost. rose let out a sigh she had been holding in and absolutely melted into his arms. she pulled back just a bit, placing her hands on both sides of his face; "thankyou rut for driving out here, and apologizing. however, you're an idiot!!! you have class in two days!" she said with slight concern on her face, to which rutger just laughed. "i know you wanna play in the NHL but dude, your education is soo important." she said rubbing her thumb softly over his cheek.

"i know, but i had to see you. i wanted to apologize in person, rosie. i didn't like how i left things and certainly didn't want that to linger." he exclaimed and to which, rose nodded. "i know i know," she paused as rutger made his way over towards the edge of the bed and sat down. "i have a feeling this is going to be long." he joked and she rolled her eyes. "its not i promise." she insisted as she now stood in between his legs with his hands on her hips. "i thankyou rut for coming i really do, it means more than you know. as you know communication as not the greatest thing with my ex and truth be told, i was terrified of confronting you today so i just up and left." she said shrugging, and rutger frowned slightly. he knew there was more to her ex and her, than she let on.

"cmon, lets get you to bed princess." she grinned, placing the flowers on her bedside table along with the card, that she promised rutger she'd read tomorrow since she was too exhausted to do so at the moment. rutger quickly washed up and got ready to bed, before sliding into bed with the clothes that rose just so happened to 'steal' from him. she was laying on her side, looking out the window that she still had to get better blinds for when rutger pulled her into his chest. rutger instinctively placed his nose in the crook of her neck before speaking, "how about some early breakfast tomorrow?" he questioned softly and she smiled. she was a breakfast and brunch date junkie. "like you ever have to ask, you're my favorite breakfast partner," she paused to giggle and found that the words she'd been wanting to say for awhile now - pressed deeply on her mind. she hesitated for a brief moment, to which rutger could tell she was about to speak again.

was it alright? too soon? was it super random?

the soft brunette smiled softly before voicing the words rutger had been longing to hear, "i love you rut." she boldly announced and waited for his reaction or response. rutger found himself smiling, wider than he believed he ever had. "i love you too rosie." rosie smiled turning around in his arms and looked up at the ever smiling guy, she'd come to adore, cherish and love.

"really?" she asked in somewhat disbelief, "yes ya silly goose!"

hi lovies! pls like and reblog if you enjoyed (:

[spaceprincessem]

another coda for robstar week!! i love robin angst (he makes it so easy). this is after the first red x episode and since this is based of favorite quotes in centers a little around robin and starfire's conversation where she calls him out on his behavior @robxstar

day 6 - favorite quotes

i'm addicted to disastrous thinking

Robin is an early riser.

Or, well, he usually is.

Sleeping in was a luxury he gave up a long time ago, because there was always work to be done. Training, profiling, researching, or patrolling; it never seemed to end. Under Batman his schedule was strict and rigid, leaving no room to keep his eyes closed past sunrise.

With the Titans he’s learned to let himself bend a little more. Living with four other teenagers with varying preferences for sleeping allowed the rigidity of his former upbringing to ease. He’s still an early riser, partially because he likes the quietness the morning brings. He can sip his coffee and watch the sunrise as he boots the computer and starts his day.

Raven is another early morning Titan, their routines steadily circling around each other the longer they live together. Raven always beat him to starting the coffee pot, but he graciously learn how she took her cup — two scoops of sugar, no cream.

Cyborg and Starfire awoke around the same time, about an hour after he and Raven, but still early enough that the coffee was still warm and the rest of the city began to spring into life; the hum of the morning commute flitting over the ocean. Beast Boy slept in the latest, joining them at the tail end of breakfast. 

This morning, though, Robin knows he’s the last one to crawl out of bed. 

It’s not surprising, all things considered. 

Last night’s battle was hell and he’s still actively punishing himself for the stupid Red X plan that fell apart nearly a week ago.

He knows that, no matter what, his team will always have his back, even when he doesn’t deserve it. They’re better than that, though, and Robin will be forever grateful for their never ending grace they extend to him. They haven’t really talked all that much outside of training and battle which Robin can’t exactly fault them for.

He betrayed their trust and pushed them away. He let Slade dig in too deep, blinding him to just how much he would hurt the people he cared about most simply because he thought he was being clever. Even if the plan had worked he hardly doubts he’d come out unscathed.

Stopping Slade wouldn’t negate the fact that he lied to his team. 

He’s been yelled at before, even Batman loses his temper, but coming from his friends cut deep. He let them fire away, knew that it was for the best, and anxiously waited for Starfire to take her turn, bracing himself for the inevitable final blow.

You want to yell at me too?

He shouldn’t have been surprised that Starfire would take him apart so quietly. Her hurt and disappointment was worse than anything else the others said. The last thing he ever wanted to do was let her down.

Forgiveness isn’t easily earned, but it's just a matter of time, because the Titans were his friends and they loved him. But he couldn’t ignore the itch beneath his skin, the need to do something, repent or maybe to just give penance. 

He doesn’t mind taking some of the harder hits in exchange for his team’s safety despite being the most human out of all of them. Last night was particularly awful and he sheepishly let them finish off the bad guy when his rib made a disturbing cracking sound when he was body slammed into a car.  

He stands in front of his bathroom mirror, shirtless, staring at the blooming hues of black and blues across his abdomen. Thank god for Raven and her healing abilities. An accident like that with Batman would have put him out for a week. 

He presses on the bruise, biting down on the hiss before it can escape past his lips. His fingers are cold as he digs in a little more, letting the pain remind him that his actions have consequences.

His eyes flutter close and he can’t help, but imagine Starfire’s frown, her eyebrows knitting together as her entire face twists with something sad. It’s rare to see her that way; she’s usually the sun, bright, happy, and warm. 

She’d watch him press down on the same spot last night, right after Raven had healed it because he felt like his pain was absolved too soon. Her fingers, gentle and always radiating heat like a fire, pulled his hand away.

“Don’t,” she whispers, “no more punishment.”

He shivers just thinking about her touch and slowly eases up on his bruise. 

He can smell breakfast as soon as his door swishes open, his stomach growling as he imagines fresh chocolate chip pancakes with bacon and maple syrup laid out on the kitchen island.

Cyborg’s taken it upon himself to teach Starfire to cook, the two of them pouring over his grandmother’s old recipe book in their free time. Robin’s even caught them perfecting vegan baked goods for Beast Boy despite Cyborg’s incessant teasing.

It’s a lazy Sunday, most of the Titans still in their house clothes as Robin steps into the living room dressed in his own sweats and hoodie.

“Robin,” Starfire smiles as soon as she sees him, “you’re finally awake.”

“Dude,” Beast Boy says as he transforms out of a goat (goat yoga — he’ll have to ask Raven about that later) , “we thought we were going to have to drag you from bed to join us for breakfast.”

“I had to teach Cyborg to make my coffee.” Raven adds, but there’s an underlying tease to her tone.

“Yours is easier than Star or BB’s,” Cyborg frowns as he flips the last pancake onto a platter stacked high, “who insists on having it frozen and blended.”

Robin bites his lip, stopping the relieved smile from breaking across his face. He stands, watching for a few moments as Beast Boy fires back with a list of why iced coffee is superior to which Starfire nods enthusiastically and Raven immediately starts to counter argue. 

He lets himself wander over to the coffee pot, but his usual mug is already full, and steaming as Cyborg slides it over to him with his own knowing smile. 

“Okay, everyone,” Cyborg calls as he turns off the griddle and finishes setting the breakfast bar, “get over here and dig in.”

“What happened to that bottom pancake?” Raven asks with a raise of her eyebrow as she pokes the suspiciously black cake.

“Starfire tried to cook it with her starbolts,” Beast Boy grins as he elbows the alien playfully in her side.

“Cyborg and I were merely experimenting,” Starfire pouts as she looks mournfully at the burnt food.

“And like any good scientist we concluded that we will be leaving the cooking to the stove top from now on.” Cyborg says as he fills his plate high with meat before drowning it in syrup.

“This all looks great.” Robin says as he takes his place next to Starfire, his heart traitorously fluttering with her beaming smile. 

He lets himself lean into her warmth, their shoulders brushing as they eat. Robin listens and smiles as his friends fill the kitchen with conversation and laughter. 

He can’t help but think that this feels a little like forgiveness. 

[witchofhimring]

Loyalty (chapter 6)

Pairings: Aemond Targaryen x Tyrell Reader

Aemond Targaryen x Ellyn Baratheon

(more to come!)

Y/n Tyrells Profiles

Warnings: Angst, heartbreak, childbirth, emotional turmoil, death, unrequited love?, humiliation by Ellyn Baratheon, marital abuse, marital consummation, misogamy (internalized as well as external), brief depictions of smut, Plot twist at the end!

Synopsis: Loyalty is the string that binds us together. But that same string may very well be used to hang you.

And as news heralds of Princess Rhaenys falling in battle Vaeron Velaryon arrives at Casterly Rock.

"The father looks upon all his children with good will." The Septon spoke to the small congregation in front of him. The only think you liked about this sept was that you could hear the waves. Dowager Queen Alicent's personal sept had been small, plain. But there was something about it that she loved. You supposed it was because it was small and isolated, a place where she could briefly get away from the world. You could never say that a sept made you feel at home. Yes, there was a familiarity to the seven statues in the Red Keep. But never had you truly loved the place. Maybe that was why the First Men loved their Weirwood trees so much. If you had such a sanctuary you might treasure it forever.

When the final prayer was concluded everyone rose to their feed, eager to head for more pleasurable activities. As you wondered how you might spend your time Jason Lannister placed a hand on your shoulder. "My Lady, I request your presence in my chambers. You may eat first, but attend to me." A request meant you had a choice, this was an order. Jason Lannister had never mentioned your argument about Lady Reyne. He seemed content to ignore it and you were too proud to bring it up again. Lady Karina helped you dress into a nightgown and robe. After the events of two weeks ago you had hardly spoken a word to Lady Mari, who seemed for willing to be absent as of late. Good. You walked down to your husbands chamber. Normally he requested your presence at this hour. You supposed that he spent his nights with the Reyne woman. His lady, wife, took second place to a mistress. While you had to lay beside one of your ladies so that you might not sleep with another man Jason Lannister slept with his whore. Such was the way of the world.

Your couplings with your husband were not as bad as the first time. At least there was no one else to witness it. Sometimes he touched you, a few times he kissed you. It was not very pleasant but it could have been worse. At least he was gentle enough. You pumped these thoughts through you brain as he had his way with you. You lay on your back and stared at the canopy above. You stared at the canopy and counted the lions embroidered on it. Was this how Johanna Lannister had felt? Or perhaps it had been different. Maybe as the second wife you held little importance in your husbands mind. After all, he had done this once before. Once he was finished Lady Alana came to collect you. A daily ritual of cleaning commenced. Only Lady Alana and Karina were permitted to attend you during these vulnerable moments. You were normally worn out after these encounters, so you would order food from the kitchens and lay down for a while.

Despite the war raging all around Casterly Rock somehow felt safe. Or, at least as safe as could be with Lady Mari breathing down your neck. While the outburst two weeks ago had been her last she still had an eye on you. Ever vigilant she had been. Even when she was absent you felt the eyes of her informants on your always. Even when you lay in bed and they were gone. You hoped to be saved from Ellyn's torment, only to fall into a far greater trial. At least at night you were amongst allies. Not here in this ancient fortress.

You were surrounded. And yet all alone.

Casterly Rock held an impressive library. Over the many years it stood past Kings and Lords added texts to its ever expanding depths of wealth. You were careful to handle the delicate parchment with great care. Your two lady friends attended you as hours were spent amongst the old pages. When you were not in the library time was spent with the ladies of Casterly Rock. There was some joy to be found amongst their company. It reminded you of simpler times in the Red Keep. Sometimes when the Dowager Queen had been in a good mood musicians would come and play music. You, Lady Flora and Lady Catrina along with the other ladies would dance. So amongst your ladies you made merry. Lady Katrina skipped to a light hearted tune with one of her cousins. Beside you another lady named Lady Dara sat laughing with a goblet of wine. According to talk she made freely with wine and was a horrid gossip. She went on about a rumor taking place with your husbands uncle. Apparently he had taken a peasant woman to wife. He was a man who drank deeply from the cup of pleasure, just as Lady Dara did with wine. "And they say she is a whore from the brothels!" Cackled Lady Dara. "No, where did you hear this!" You gasped, listening in wrapped attention. To hear of such a lose woman being part of house Lannister was unthinkable. On pillows by your feet were other great ladies, most about your age. The older ones were in the corner discussing some issues you had little mind to pay head to. Lady Karina fell with a giggle onto the pillows. You reached for a goblet and flagon of wine and handed it to her. Greatfully she drank. You looked around and suddenly noticed Lady Alana was missing. "Has anyone seen the Lady Alana?" Her golden curls were not to be seen. "She may be tired." Suggested one Lady. "I believe she had important matters to attend to. Interjected Lady Karina. With a sigh you leaned back. This was far better than your husband or Lady Mari's company. Maybe you could be alright here. Listening to music, drinking and making merry with these ladies did not seem so bad. And with that though your thoughts left Lady Alana.

Your coupling ended with him spending himself inside of you. He pulled out and you got up. Beside the bed was a basin of warm water. You wiped the excess off of your thighs and made ready to leave. But suddenly he commanded you to stop. "My Lord." Jason Lannister gestured towards the vacant chair by the fireplace. Obeying, you sat opposite from him. In the glow of the fireplace he looked handsome, in his way. "I hope that we can come to an understanding. May I call you Y/n in private." Suddenly feeling hot inside, you shyly smiled and nodded. Although you could not say you were in love, or even really liked your husband, getting on good terms would make everything so much easier. Maybe you could grow to love him. However the ghost of Aemond's shadow loom. Or rather, the love you once held for him. What you felt for Aemond now was something you could not quite place a finger on. You could not say the feeling was gone, more like buried under hurt and pain. But compared to the love you had held, you knew anything for Jason Lannister would be less. And it saddened you greatly. "I miss my late wife." His comment made you feel uneasy. Then, you felt guilty. As his wife was it not your duty for him to lay his troubles upon you? You remembered only seeing Johanna Lannister once. No words were exchanged. Though you remembered her to be quite beautiful with a tall figure and golden hair. You supposed he should miss her dearly. After all, they had been married more many years. The though made you feel very lonely. While marriages were made of convenience you had hoped you might marry for love, or at least that such feelings might manifest over time. But as you thought about it that possibility seemed unlikely. You would spend your youth stuck in a loveless relationship. "It is understandable my Lord." Was all you could say. Jason Lannister simply sighed. "Now, there is one matter I wish to address. And I do wish to speak of this matter in the most plain terms." You suspected what this was, and you were so tired of it. But you decided this conversation needed to happen. "It is about Prince Aemond." You spoke before he did. Jason Lannister nodded and took another glass of wine. "I must confess that I did not believe the rumors. Dowager Queen Alicent insisted they were simply rumors. Princess Ellyn has been jealous after all." A spasm stabbed your mouth. But this was bound to happen at some point. Instead of letting your rage take over, it was best to deescalate the situation before it got out of control. "I admit that I know the Prince as well. Nothing inappropriate had ever taken place however. I can assure you of that, My Lord." "Then why did Princess Ellyn take such a dislike towards you?" "She was jealous of any lady who held the Princess attention. You should have seen the way she looked at Queen Helaena." The last part was a lie. But if it served your purpose so be it, Ellyn deserved no sympathy from you.

Jason Lannister leaned back with a curious look on his face. "You mean his own sister? I know Targaryens marry their siblings but she is married to her brother Aegon." You filled your goblet again. "You know, I did hear from her sister Lady Cassandra that she is quite the jealous woman." Jason Lannister pondered. Feeling much more relaxed you went on. "Really?" The idea of getting dirt of Ellyn was absolutely intoxicating. "I heard that when a knight she took a fancy to asked for her sister Floris's hand, Ellyn did not speak to her for a week. Quite unbecoming for a woman. Perhaps.......wait no! That knight was Ser Harwin Strong!" You laughed. Well it seemed Harwin had a taste for highborn ladies. Everyone knew Rhaenyra's sons were bastards. "Mayhaps she wanted his bastards as well." Jason Lannister roared with laughter at your comment. "It tell you Y/n, some women are absolutely uncontrollable. Rhaenyra was a real cunt as a girl, did I ever tell you that?" "Not surprised. Her sons are little better. Such is their bastard nature." Jason Lannister found himself quite agreeing with your statement.

A messenger arrived at dawn the next morning. You were woken to abrupt knocking at your door. "Please go get it." You groggily asked Katrina. With little grace she slipped out of bed and opened the door. Lady Mira rushed in. "My Lady, there is an emergency. Your husband is waiting in his study. Wide awake, you were out of bed with Karina throwing a shawl over you. "Are we being invaded?" Lady Mari rushed you out the door. "No I do not think so My Lady." As you ran through the hall all possibilities came to mind. What had happened? Was the King dead? Was Rhaenyra dead? You hoped to any gods out there that Jaecerion was safe. Jason Laanister was at his desk, dead in hands. "My Lord?" The newly build fire hurt your eyes from its contrast to the darkness. Jason Lannister straightened and and brushed his hair out of his face. A crumpled letter was on his desk. Whatever its contents were boded ill. "The King has been injured. They don't even know if we will survive." "How?!" Dread pooled in your stomach. If the King died now then a boy would be on the throne. You thought back to the two little children, Jaehaera and Maelor. Were they to lose their father as well? While Aegon might not have been the most attentive father it was a horrible thing to lose your father. When your own had died...well, you really could not remember much of it. You just remember feeling so terribly sad and then burring it beneath a blanket of facades. The truth was, now that you thought of it, you had hardly thought about hin these days. You did not want to think about him. Because then your mind would drift to "what ifs' and you did not want to dwell on such sad things.

"Aemond has been named regent." So Ameond will be getting what he always wanted. Briefly you wondered if he had his own ambitions to take the throne. While you knew he craved power there were some limits not even he would cross. Although, it did suddenly cross you that Jaecerys was not named regent. He was the older brother after all. Although perhaps he did not want it. Somehow you had difficulty imagining Jaecerys sitting in the council signing papers. He was the energetic son of Alicent Hightower. The one who took to his dragon and disappeared for days at a time, he had no head for ruling. Then, you thought about how this made Ellyn the second most prominent woman in the realm. You hoped she never sat that throne.

An uneasy silence broke out over Westeros. A sudden cold wind had rolled down from the north. Fearing that winter might set in, the combatants laid low with the exception of the north. "Damn maesters didn't even know winter was coming!" Jason Lannister had complained. But it soon came to pass that the worry was for naught. The winds went as summer resumed. Most of your days were spent with the ladies, enjoying copious amounts of delights, trying to forget the war raging outside. You had settled into a sort of routine. Despite this there were those you did not wish to remain. Tyshara still obviously hated you, and the sight of Lady Redwyne was nearly intolerable to you. She wore beautiful jewels that Katrina told you belonged to the original lady of Casterly Rock. How she had the nerve you never understood. She had been mistress to the lord since before Lady Johanna's death, and now her spirit was exist with the knowledge that her rival was wearing her jewels.

You received another letter from Lady Joan. As usual, her clipped tone could be heart through the parchment.

Y/n,

It is a good thing you have started to settle into Casterly Rock. The reports I receive on your behavior are favorable at the moment. As I expect them to be. In your last letter you requested I find where Lady Elinor has gone. Well I am to tell you that there is not point in finding that woman. She has brought disgrace on our family through her foolish actions. So it is as well that you forget about her. What you should be worrying about is the lack of an heir. It has been four months and I heard you had your blood last month. I will remind you that a woman's sole function is to provide said heir. Your own mother had you within a year, so I see no reason why you should not. Write to me soon about the mood at Casterly Rock.

Sincerely,

Lady Joan Tyrell

You knew the chance of Lady Joan making an effort to find Elinor were slim. She was simply not worth the effort in her eyes. But you would be a poor friend if you did not at least try. Nevertheless bitterness stung. All she had done was serve you well. And for that she was banished because of that Baratheon bitch. Deep in your heart you wished you had the ability to curse that woman. You hoped that Ellyn would find someone she cherished very much, and that you would be the one to take it away from her.

It took you time to compose yourself enough to put pen to parchment. Despite everything you were still a scion of of the house of Tyrell. From the day you were born loyalty had been welded into you, as it was for all.

"Why is kinslaying so abhorred?" You had asked Aemond one day. The two of you had found a secluded spot in the library. Aemond was probed up on the window while you lounged on a pile of pillows. "It is killing ones own family." Aemond turned a page of his book. "I know. It is just that in almost every religion.....not that I am committing heresy I just read about them in the library, kinslaying is the greatest crime. Even those who worship the Drowned God hold such views." Aemond looked up from his book, and pondered. "I once read that it is because the Seven despise it so much that even false Gods will not object." You leaned back against the pillows, satisfied with his answer. But in the coming years, as you sat in your room at Casterly Rock, suddenly felt unsatisfied with his answer.

You had embroidered a handkerchief with golden roses for your husband. Jason Lannister was to meet Rhaenyra's forces in the field. After the brief spell of cold the ground had softened making it harder for the northern forces to advance. What also barred their way was the fires that now roasted the Riverlands. You heard stories of entire towns being burned by Vhagar, and a shiver that you suppressed nearly overwhelmed you. He was the most powerful man in the realm and had now put it to the torch. Sometimes, unbiddenly, you wondered which side was worse.

Prince Vaeron's army was marching on Casterly Rock. Eight thousand men from the Riverlands. The Greyjoy's had now thrown in their lot with the Blacks. Jason Lannister said that it was likely they would attack on both sides, from the water and land. All joy had stopped as battle loomed closer. Stories were told of the Ironborn and how they raped and kidnapped women. You had nightmares of them barging in and slaughtering everyone. In the morning you had nearly thrown up from the anxiety.

The day the men were to head out you got up early and attended to your duties. By sunrise everyone was hurried out onto the yard to bid the army farewell. Deciding to hand you favor to your husband in private. You requested that all your ladies but Katrina wait outside. "Do you think he will like it?" You asked Katria, showing her the stitching. "Very." You walked to his bedroom. A hallway down you heard Jason Lannister's voice. Hurrying up, you picked up the train of your dress. Suddenly, you stopped. The other voice was Lady Redwine. "I hope you will take this as a token of my affection." Your hands wrung the cloth as Lady Redwyne's voice permeated the air. You felt Katrina's hand on your shoulder but hardly cared. Wheeling about, you stormed right back to your room. Katrina followed silently all the while. The doors to your room bust as you stormed in. Two maids tending the fire leapt up in alarm. You said nothing, because you did not need to. They scurried out as if one fire leaving only you and Katrina. "Y/n-" The favor crumpled in your hand, you walked towards the fire. The golden thread shinned in the firelight as it was hurled into the flames. With grim satisfaction you watched the white and gold smolder and blacken.

You were cordial with Jason Lannister when he left. But all words of comfort had fled from you in your bitterness. "I hope you have a successful campaign." Was all you said. He looked miffed. You wanted to tell him you knew. But not in front of all these lords and ladies. Just because he humiliated you did not mean the rest of the court could laugh at you. As he mounted his horse you wondered where her favor was on him. Mayhaps near the heart, where you would never be. The horses mane flowed elegantly in the air as all the horses turned. Banners were hoisted in the air. Cries were called out as wives and daughters called out to their loved ones. You said nothing. Why would you?

The Sept became the sanctuary. You would rather stay in the castle but you also did not want to be left alone. Most days were spent in the Sept praying for the Greyjoy's to be defeated on the sea. You wished they would not. It was much harder to shake off the fear that something might go wrong when that was all anyone was talking about. Besides, praying did nothing for you these days. Where once the Seven had been your sanctuary it now felt foreign. You would look out one of the small windows and watch the trees eerily move with the breeze. You had never gone into the forest, with the rumors of witches and robbers inhabiting it. But there was a strange urge to do so. Maybe you would feel safer there than in here.

Soon however, you wished to be left alone. The perpetual anxiety was too much to bear. You sympathized, but could no longer take it. So you retreated to a smaller room, a private place of worship. Most days you spent looking out at the forest. You wondered what took place in the dark. Rather than frightening you it intrigued you. attempts were made to ask about the forest. But a lifetime of being told its horrors made the ladies warry of even speaking about it. "We best not speak of it. We could get their attention." "Who's." They would look around and then whisper. "The witches." "Have they ever caught one?" "Never. Or at least not in a long time. But odd things happen in that forest." You did not question any further. Who needed to? Anyone who took a look at those trees knew there was something otherworldly about it.

You were walking through the forest with purpose. It was with the intensity of one who knew where they would end up, yet this path was unrecognizable. Alone you went deeper and deeper. Faces stuck out of the bark, eyeless with sap like blood oozing out of them. They looked so real, more than the statues in the Sept. When you did reach the destination there was a circular clearing. You had the sensation, although there was no evidence, that you were at the very heart of the forest. A Weirwood tree was in the middle, its branches stretched outwards towards you. Walking forwards, you stretched your arms out. The branches drew you in closer and suddenly you were pressed against the tree. "Change. Change. You must shed it." And blood poured from your wrists.

You woke up on the ground. Sore, you stumbled to your room. A sharp wrapping was heard at the door. With as much composure as you could muster you walked to the door and opened it. Katrina stood on the threshold, she looked almost worn out. But there was a flush of jubilation in her face. "My Lady, it is your husband! He has vanquished Prince Vaeron's army and taken him prisoner. And the Greyjoy's have been pushed back. We are saved!" With a scream you jumped up and pulled her into a hug. You were saved. The pair of you ran downstairs to see the ladies hugging, crying and praying to the Seven. With a relief greater than one could imagine the doors opened and a windy sky hailed you.

Jason Lannister looked well enough. He was exhilarated by his success. And it had the added effort of him being most eager to give you attention. Couplings were becoming more tolerable. You learned to favor the touches he gave you in bed. He even stayed with you for a time afterwards. Even if it was just to keep you compliant it was better than nothing. And it did nothing to soften you towards Lady Redwyne. You took notice of the two children he had fathered with you. Jason Lannister had three baseborn children. One of them to some kitchen maid and the other two by Lady Redwyne. You felt dissatisfied by your lack of an heir. You wanted a child, not just to provide and heir. But because you truly wanted a child of your own. The idea of having a beautiful babe to hold filled you with longing. Your ladies had started to ask you questions such as "do you feel well in the morning" to "do you feel any changes"? You were not sure. There was no sickness, although your period had come late. But you knew this was no surety. Women's bleedings did not happen always on time. And besides, the pressure could also be getting to you. But at least now there was hope.

Despite the victory, war was far from over. The Kings forces were trying to break the blockade house Velaryon had over the sea. At least no town or cities would be in danger. There was great pity in your heart for those men and boys who could not escape the battle. And just such a boy currently resided in the prison cells of Casterly Rock. You did not see Vaeron when he was first brought in, only when he was forced to stand before your husband. It was just two days later. When you first entered it struck you how young he was. Vaeron was younger than yourself. There was still a smidge of baby fat left to his gentle face. Creeping anxiety immediately made you want to turn away from this. This eye met yours for the first time in years. Your memories of your shared youths were mostly distant. In fact you had hardly thought of him these past years. But suddenly they all melted away and you were left standing before a boy you had known since childhood. You had never liked him, but seeing the boy in chains brought you no joy.

Vaeron was hauled before the chair. Despite the haughty look on his face you noticed a quiver in his eyes. Fear. Boys his age fought in wars. But now at nearly twenty suddenly he looked too young. You thought of all the young ones who would die before even truly tasting life. Then images of a boy, not much older that the one before you, falling from the sky in pieces. And then those pieces were shallowed by the ocean, like war sweeping away lives. If you bore a son what would happen to him. Until now you had not considered the possibility of him fighting wars. It was every mothers desire to have a son. But with that came the fear of losing that boy in some far off land. Just as Dowager Queen Alicent would likely spend her days waiting for news on her four boys. Just as Rhaenyra's thoughts constantly encircled the memory of the children she had already lost. You prayed that such a horror would never come to you.

"Vaeron-" Jason Lannister started, only to be cut off. "That is Prince Vaeron Velaryon to you. Ser." You had to admire him for his braver at the very least. You gasped as a knights fist collided with his face. Vaeron stumbled but did not cry out. "You are no Prince. Only the bastard son of that whore. Do you know what they call your mother? Maegor with teats. And like him it seems that one man is not enough." "As one woman is not enough for you." But that was not said aloud. "At it seems like him you will not have a male heir. Tell me, is Y/n with child yet?" A hot rush went through you. Despite being lady of Casterly Rock he still disrespected you. Memories of a boy who hardly acknowledged you came to mind and all pity evaporated. "As a matter of fact, Vaeron, the maesters suspect I may be. And even if I do have a girl, at least none shall question the validity of mine." Jason Lannister turned to you, shock and relief on his face. "Are you sure?" The look on his face caused a more pleasant warm to stir within you. "It is not yet assured. But there is a good chance I am." Jason Lannister gave you the brightest smile you had ever seen on his face before taking your hand. You looked at Vaeron right in the eyes triumphantly. It gave you immense satisfaction to be able to finally show him your worth. Here he was a mere prisoner, a nobody compared to the lady of Casterly Rock.

Only a smile came onto his face. Or rather, a smirk. A malevolent gleam glinted in his eyes. "Are you quite so sure of that?" Breathed hissed between your teeth. "Last I heard your eye was on my uncle. Perhaps if the babe came out with white-" "Silence!" You had risen to your feet, composure lost. Jason Lannister, however, was the one to come to your defense. "Princess Ellyn is known for having a lose tongue. So you will forgive us if we do not believe the gossip you so willingly lapped up." There was laughter that grated your nerves. Hatefully you looked down at him.

Vaeron's fate hung in the balance. Some felt that the boy should be executed, one less heir for Rhaenyra. Others felt that as she was still at large they could use her son as a bargaining chip. You just wished they would leave the boy down there to rot. Now that they suspected you were pregnant the attention paid to you increased. Ladies who originally shunned you suddenly showed up at your tea parties. Each night and morning you would neck your linen and sanitary wear. The fear that one day you might find blood between your legs petrified you. It gave you great joy to finally write to Lady Joan that you were with child. She was quick to reply.

Y/n,

It is very well that you have become with child. If you have a son we may betroth Malinda to him. Be careful of what you eat as a healthy baby is crucial to our plan. I was most relived to hear of your husbands victory and the apprehension of Vaeron. You must convince your husband to execute him. The boy may undo all that we have strived to achieve. If not for the family, do it for the sake of your child. Remember. This is your duty.

Lady Joan Tyrell

Sickness caused acid to burn the muscles of your throat. As much as you reviled Vaeron the idea of being the one to kill him was horrifying. And the truth was you did not really want him to die. But Lady Joan's letter cause to cause to think. She was right, you thought. Your child would be in danger with the boy still alive. And it was your duty to take your houses side. Would it be wrong for you to do so? While you might not be the one swinging the sword you still would be the whistleblower. Abstaining from the killing blow would make you no less guilty. And did he truly deserve it? Had Lucerys deserved it? "No." You mumbled to yourself. Lucerys had taken Aemond's eye. But was it right? You thought of the little boy who hid behind his mother after he maimed Aemond. You had never felt pity for him. All you saw was the little bastard to mocked and maimed Aemond as a child. How could such a person be worthy of sympathy? Now that you thought about it, Lucerys had the slight marking for boyhood on his features. Just as Vaeron did. No! You could not think like that. You would be turning your back on family and your child if you did this. And for what? Two boys who meant nothing to you.

It was night outside. Lady Alana was asleep in your bed. Quietly you padded across the wooden floor, your thoughts like thunderous bells. You wanted to sleep so badly but could not. Your nails indented the soft skin of your hand. The moonlight cast flickering lights across the black water. You smelt its salt from up here through the open window. The crashing of the saves competed with the rustling of the trees. Like two great armies battling it out bellow. Just as two sides of yourself waged war.

Sometimes one had to make choices for the greater good. But none of this felt good. The letter lay on a table near the fire. You were oh so tempted to burn it to ashes and never revisit it again. But that damn nagging whispered to you, telling you that it was your duty. Duty bound you to loyalty. Loyalty ensured that forever your fate would be with your house. The sound of the trees went out and the waves overtook them. By the morning you had made your choice.

"He should be put to death." The words fell out of your mouth. Jason Lannister looked surprised at your words. "I would never have imagined such a thing could come from you, Lady wife." You tried to play it off as something simply to be done. "Such is war." Was all that passed from your chapped lips. Jason Lannister reached for some parchment. He wrote several sentences and then ceiled it with wax before summoning a maester. "The King is of the same mind." This did nothing to assure you of what was going to happen. The wax cooling on the parchment eerily reminded you of blood.

Even there everything seemed to speed up. A gallows had been erected in the front of the castle. But nevertheless there was to be a show of it. And Jason Lannister had one last dramatic flair. The Battle of the Gullet, as they called it, hailed a black victory. But Jaecerys, heir to Rhaenyra, was dead. At eighteen he was shot full of arrows and sunk into the sea with his dragon. Vaeron was not yet informed that now he was heir. Though not for much longer. The day was cold and all you could hear was the crashing of waves. The forest on the other hand, was completely still. You can under a canopy, decked out in splendor. Like a true Lannister you looked. Vaeron was lead out in chain, thin and gaunt looking. Yet he had on his bearing an admirable amount of bravery. More than you would have had. He was forced to stand before a crown of lords and ladies. You wondered if his mother knew by now. Consciously your hand went to your own belly. "Vaeron. You stand here a condemned traitor to the crown. Do you have any last words to say?" Jason Lannister stood tall beside you. "My mother and brother shall avenge you. And so my death goes with no apology." Jason Lannister let out a loud that chilled the bones. "Only your mother I am afraid. Your brother went down with his dragon in battle." Vaeron's façade faltered. "You are as much a liar as your wore-mongering King. Although he is doing less of that these days from what I hear." Jason Lannister beckoned and a large piece of fabric was brought. Or at least that was what you thought until it got closer. The hide of Jaecerys's dragon had been shorn off and was now grasped in Jason Lannister's hands.

The wail that Vaeron let out made all the breath in your body escape. Any feeling you once possessed had fled. You could not even look at he screamed curses in his language. His cries revealed the deepest anguish one could posses. His brother and prince was gone. And at this time there had been no opportunity to avenge him. No. Not this time around. You could not even look as they dragged him to the place and his head way lain down. It was only when that dreadful screaming stopped did you know that Vaeron, the only possible trueborn son of Rhaenyra Targaryen, was dead.

You were a caterpillar in your dreams. A bright green colour that encased your body. Above you soared a blue butterfly that beat its winds high in the sky. You looked up and wished to join it. But you could not. And then a thunderous voice broke across the sky and the butterfly was only smoke.

You did not wake up in fear. Instead an intense sadness spoke to you that morning. You walked over to the window and opened it. Only the waves could be heard. You slipped on shoes and a cloak before slipping out. Celebrations could be heard from the great hall. Such was a time when butchery was celebrated and men were cruel. You stepped out onto the grass outside through a hidden door and walked towards the sept. It was empty although not of contents. Lonely candles sat at the feet of the Seven. You just stood there and thought. Then thoughts of fealty prevailed and you turned away.

You would burn no candles for Lucerys or Vaeron tonight.

Note: So we have a chapter without Ellyn or Aemond in it. But that won't last very long. So I know that the reader feels a bit off this chapter since she is fairly extroverted and mingling amongst her ladies. In my mind the reader is extroverted in nature but really only gravitates to a few people.

Also sorry for the late update the past few weeks have been busy. Also I reworked some parts of this chapter because I was not happy with it. I wanted to get into why Y/n was so loyal to her house despite everything. We have to remember that in those times fealty to ones house was everything and to not due so was very taboo. Part of the reason why the dance of the dragons was so horrible was due to the fact that so much kinslaying took place.

Also you-know-who is showing up next chapter!

If you want to join the taglist please let me known!

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[ejzah]

A/N: Once again, a tiny idea morphed into a much longer than intended fic. Enjoy the angst!

***

Relapse

Kensi had learned after Deeks was tortured by Sidorov that in addition to withdrawing from everyone around him when he was in a state of distress, he forgot to take care of himself as well. It had taken her a while to pick up on the pattern, but now, especially after living together for three years, she knew all the signs. He tended not to eat often enough, his meticulous cleaning schedule became disrupted, and he either barely moved at all, or spent hours exhausting his body in an attempt to quiet his mind.

So one week in the middle of summer when Kensi noticed the counters hadn’t been wiped down in a few days, and the laundry hamper was nearing capacity—something that never occurred since they moved in together—she took note. It wasn’t a cause for massive alarm, but enough that she decided to keep a close eye on Deeks. They’d just come off a horrific case that lasted over three weeks and had them all running on fumes.

Maybe he just needed the time to recuperate, she reasoned. She’d certainly been on edge and snapped at everyone more than usual, including Deeks, who had the misfortune of spending their few hours away from work with her.

On Tuesday, they had a fairly slow day, the latter part of which they spent cleaning out in-boxes and catching up on the procedures that got overlooked during intense cases. It gave them a much needed opportunity to bond and unwind.

Inevitably, Sam and Callen ended up in argument over who had actually taken down their most recent criminal.

“Nope, I definitely reached him before you did,” Callen insisted in that tone that meant he was just arguing for the joy of watching Sam grow more irritated. Kensi dipped her head to conceal a smile.

“Are you kidding me? You weren’t even close. He’d still be on the run if we left it to you,” Sam objected, shaking his head in exasperation.

“I don’t know, Sam, Deeks is the one who distracted him,” Kensi pointed out. She waited expectantly for Deeks to jump in with his own comment, but none came.

Kensi realized he’d been quiet through most of the teasing and banter, when normally he’d be egging Sam right alongside Callen. His body was turned slightly away, gaze focused in the direction of the back wall. She wondered if he saw anything at all.

The silence grew long enough for it grow slightly awkward, and Kensi hastily added, “I’m just saying it’s a group effort.”

“Yeah, you can keep your “group effort”, Sam made air quotes around the last two words. “I’m the one who tackled him, and that’s all that matters.” He jabbed a button on his laptop keyboard. “And I’m outta here. Don’t even think of calling me before 6 tomorrow morning.”

Callen left shortly after Sam, followed by Eric and Nell, who seemed in a hurry.

“You want to grab tacos on the way home?” she asked once she finished her own paperwork, leaning across the front of Deeks’ desk. “I’ll buy.” She let her tone drop flirtatiously, shimmying her shoulders.

“Uh, I’m really behind on my LAPD paperwork,” Deeks answered without looking up. “I think I’m going to stay a little bit later.”

“This is the first night we’ve gotten out before 7 in weeks.”

Finally looking up, Deeks sighed heavily, swiping his hair out of his eyes with a careless hand. Even in the dim light, she could tell his eyes were bloodshot.

“I know. LAPD will get on my case if I wait any longer though. I’ll just be a couple hours, ok?” He gave her a pleading, regretful look, that Kensi was powerless to ignore.

“Ok.” She leaned closer, tipping his chin a little higher to kiss him. “Don’t be too long,” she said.

“I won’t,” Deeks promised, returning her kiss with a brush of his lips. “Love you.”

***

It was a full four hours later when Kensi heard the front quietly open and shut. She’d tried not to wait up, even going to bed, but too many thoughts and worries circled through her brain to get anywhere close to sleep. She tracked Deeks’ movement through the house; he stopped in the kitchen, got a glass of water, checked on Monty in the living room, then finally headed to their room.

Kensi rolled over onto her side when he walked in, knowing there wasn’t any point in pretending to sleep. Deeks stood by the closet, taking off his shoes.

“Hey,” she murmured. He stilled at the sound of her voice, shoulders caving for a second before he turned around.

“Hey. Sorry.”

She didn’t know if he was apologizing for possibly waking her. Or coming home late.

“It’s ok.” Holding out her hand, she waited until he was within reaching distance, and pushed herself up enough to slide her hand around his neck. He let her pull him down, releasing a slightly pained noise. Kensi slid her fingers up into his hair, finding the strands damp.

She didn’t call him on it, just holding him tighter when their lips parted. She felt the tension in his shoulders and back, so tight it seemed he might snap at any moment.

“Come to bed,” she told him, pulling back the covers. When Deeks slid in beside her, she curled around him, hoping took some comfort in her touch.

***

Kensi’s worry skyrocketed as she watched Deeks withdraw more every day. This time around, he tended towards movement, which meant he either woke up early (assuming he’d slept at all) or stayed after work to work out. At the same time, his appetite seemed to have disappeared.

She tried to combat it all by bringing him a donut in the morning or cajoling him into bed and doing her best to soothe him to sleep. It wasn’t enough, but she was hesitant to push too hard.

“Hey, I brought you some soup,” she said one evening as she came back from a food run. Deeks had very noticeably not requested anything.

“I’m not hungry,” he said, not even pausing considering the bucket she plunked down in front of him.

“Baby, you didn’t eat breakfast this morning. It’s after six. You need to have something.”

“Kens—”

“No,” Kensi interrupted sharply, forgetting her decision to remain quietly supportive, to say nothing. “You are tired, you’re not eating, you’re not talking, and I am done letting you fade right in front of me.”

His head sank forward for a moment, and he rubbed his hands over his face, emitting the deepest of sighs. When he looked up again, the shadows in his eyes were even darker, and Kensi’s heart clenched painfully for him.

“I’m just struggling a little right now. I’ll get over it,” he insisted dully. “I always do.”

“You don’t have to do it alone though. You have me,” Kensi reminded him, moving around his desk to crouch in front of him. She grabbed his hands, clasping them between hers. “Let me help you.”

“I want to…” he shook his head, tilting his head back with a sorrowful expression. “It just feels like everything terrible feeling is amplified by a hundred and anything good is dampened.” He smiled sadly. “Only thing that helps sometimes is when you’re holding me at night.”

“I’ll do anything you need, anything. But please don’t push me away. I can’t bear that.”

“I’ll try.” He nodded, eyes damp. Kensi drew his forehead to her shoulder, weaving her fingers into his hair.

“And eat your soup.”

That got a weak out laugh out of him. Drawing back, he grabbed the tub across his desk, popping the lid off.

Kensi knew that one meal wouldn’t magically fix everything, but as he slowly worked his way through the soup, it was a step the right direction.

Under the table, Deeks reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly.

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

"get me a damned matcha" | Chapter 7: December I

{{ Chapter 6: November I | Chapter 8: January I }} Chapter Directory

i finally finished outlining this series! which means i can get all the chapters written ahead of time and i'm so excited because things only get fluffier from here on out skdjfksf

if you wanna get tagged for updates, fill out this form here!

✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au ✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence. ✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, strangers to lovers, alcohol, college-typical parties, explicit description of an anxiety attack, mentions of death ✧ word count ➼ ~4k

> [you (4:45pm)]: hey you locked me out again > [you (4:47pm)]: hello??? > [you (4:48pm)]: hello??? earth to levi

> [levi (4:50pm)]: Should've come home earlier. I have work.

> [you (4:51pm)]: it's 4:50. u said your shift doesn't start till 5

> [levi (4:55pm)]: It's a 15 minute commute, dumbass.

> [you (4:56pm)]: YOU'RE a sumbass > [you (4:56pm)]: dumbass

> [levi (4:59pm)]: How clever > [levi (5:00pm)]: I made you another Matcha. Get your ass here before it gets cold.

~~~~~

It had started snowing on your way to the café. The weather forecast hadn't called it a snowstorm or anything along the lines of that, but walking through it was still a pain in the butt. You hadn't anticipated having to walk in it, so you were wearing tennis shoes, which meant that snow seeped in, leaving you with cold feet and wet socks. On top of that, you weren't wearing any gloves, so you had to have your hands shoved into your jacket pockets the entire time.

Needless to say, you were more than grumpy by the time you arrived. You shook the snow out of your hair and patted off your coat before sitting down at your usual spot with a more than obvious frown on your face.

Levi's gaze met yours and he pushed the cup of Matcha gently towards you. He seemed to notice your mood and chose to simply hand you the drink without providing commentary on the fact that you had locked yourself out of the house again. 

You mumbled a thanks as you took a sip of the drink that Levi had now been regularly preparing for you whenever you came into the café. Most days you simply appreciated the gesture, but there were also days like this where your mood was nothing but sour, so getting your comfort drink for free was more than needed.

You had left your apartment keys at home while you were in a rush to leave in the morning and then you had missed the bus on your way home. You rushed to your apartment, hoping that Levi was still at home, and were rudely met with a locked door. Today was just full of misfortunes.

You took solace in the fact that the Matcha meant there was at least one thing in your day that you could consider a positive. The day wasn't a complete loss.

"Does this mean I'm trapped with you for the next five hours until your shift is up?" you asked, finally placing the cup back down onto its accompanying plate.

"Fuck no," he responded with a frown. "Having you here for the entire shift will make it a hundred times worse."

Levi didn't miss the subtle pout that appeared on your face. If he didn't know any better, he would've sworn that he had hurt your feelings based on the look in your eyes.

He paused briefly, glancing at you, noting that you really did seem affected by his comment.

"Whatever," he mumbled underneath his breath as he began digging around in his pockets, before pulling out a spare key.

He began to slide it over to you.

"A spare that I made a while ago," he muttered, his fingers still on the top of the key to keep you from immediately grabbing it. "I expect you to give it back."

After emphasizing that last statement, he let go of the key and flicked it closer to you.

It took you a second to react. You hadn't expected this from him.

"Thanks," you said quietly as you took the spare and placed it in your pocket. 

You sipped on the Matcha again, subtly looking up as you watched Levi tend to his station. 

The two of you have kept this routine up for a few months at this point. You'd come in, he'd prepare you a drink, and you'd exchange some banter with him before he went back over to his station. You were surprised every time you saw Levi being completely engrossed in his station. As much as he complained about working here, you could tell he did legitimately enjoy making the specialty teas the café offered. It was probably one of the only things he could do to keep other real life things off his mind. 

You heard the door open (and felt the accompanying freezing wind) behind you.

"Oh hey, _____!" 

You turned towards the door and saw Nicolo leaning against the open door carrying a box of supplies.

"Oi, are you trying to turn this place into a fridge?" Levi called out. "Close the damn door."

Nicolo stepped inside, kicking the snow off his boots. Upon a closer inspection, you could see that he was carrying a variety of baking supplies in the heavy-looking box in his arms, likely to restock his own station.

"Hey!" you greeted with a wave. "How's business been?"

He walked up to you and placed the boxes on the counter, much to Levi's ire since they were still somewhat covered in snow. 

"Slower since you haven't been needing our pastries!"

"Well, the semester's over so activities are paused until after February."

"You going to the party tonight?"

"Probably," you said with a nod. A subtle smirk appeared at the edge of your lips. "I assume you're going with Sasha?"

"Wh-What?!" Nicolo exclaimed as his face flushed up. You had caught him off-guard.

"Nothing," you said innocently as you shut your eyes and continued sipping at your Matcha.

You've seen the two underclassmen interacting here regularly nearly every other day. Although it was none of your business, anybody with even a hint of social awareness could put the pieces together that there was something developing between the two. 

"If you're taking her out, I'd recommend getting something bigger to eat first," you spoke up, turning towards Nicolo, who was still reeling from your comment. "And it's Sasha, so I mean it when I say bigger to eat. It's an end-of-semester party, which means it's a bigger one. Make sure you have something to soak up the alcohol."

You were well aware that neither of them were drinking age, but you weren't dumb. Although there were some that attended parties without ever drinking, you knew it was rare. It was more than likely that the two of them would be drinking in some capacity. You'd rather them be careful, instead of them getting into trouble because you decided to turn a blind eye. 

You didn't notice, but Levi had kept his eyes on you throughout this whole exchange. Every single time you came into the café or interacted with him, the more of you he actually got to see. Although he wouldn't admit it to himself, you were straying further and further from his expectation of you as just another annoying undergrad.

"Are you going with anyone?" Nicolo finally asked after gathering himself.

You nodded. 

"I'm going with Petra and a few others. So I guess I'll see you there!"

~~~~~

Everyone had finally left.

While Levi didn't particularly enjoy closing shifts, he did find them more relaxing than his regular mid-shifts. He got to spend the last 30 minutes or so alone after closing to clean and prepare the café for the next day.

Still, given how late it was, he found himself in a sour mood. Having to be out past 11pm couldn't just be remedied by 30 minutes of cleaning, no matter how much he enjoyed it. He was more than ready to go home and lock himself in his room for the rest of the night.

The snow had stopped and only a small layer had gathered on the ground, but it was still fairly chilly outside. Levi dug his hands into his pockets and frowned at the fact that his breath was visible whenever he exhaled. He knew his car was going to be annoyingly cold once he got in. 

He felt his phone buzz.

He groaned, knowing it was you. He wondered if he should ignore it.

His phone kept buzzing. It was a phone call.

He finally dug out his phone, exposing his hand to the freezing temperatures surrounding him.

"What?" he spoke sternly into the phone, immediately grimacing from the loud background noise that came from the other end. He held the phone about an inch away from his ear. 

"Levi?!" 

He heard you yell into your phone, as if you were surprised that he picked up.

"What do you want?" 

He heard a lot of loud music, which meant that you were still at the party, but also wind blowing into your microphone, indicating that you were outside.

His eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to make out whatever it was that you were trying to say. He vaguely heard the words "me" and "up". With the music and the wind fighting for the microphone's attention, he could barely understand a word you were saying.

"What?" 

He heard some shuffling on the other end before your voice began coming through clearer.

"Can you p-pick me up?"

Your voice was unsteady and slurred. You were drunk.

"It's too late into the night, fuck off."

You had gone to the party with friends, so it wasn't like you didn't have a way home. Plus, he already had to pick you up last month at the last minute. He really didn't want this to form into a habit.

However, before he could bring his phone down away from his ear and press the end call button, you spoke again with a sense of urgency.

"Levi, p-please!"

He had noticed that your voice was unsteady the first time, but now he could almost picture you trembling as you spoke. 

You were upset about something. Listening closely, he was vaguely able to tell that you were crying based on the way that your speaking and breathing patterns were not matching up with each other, in addition to the sense of urgency in your voice.

He groaned audibly.

"Fine. Which stupid party are you at?"

~~~~~

Driving through this area of campus was always a pain in the ass. Not only did most of the buses pass through here, but it was also the central location for parties. Most fraternities were located here and it technically wasn't as monitored by campus security, which meant parties could go late into the night and be as wild as they wanted to get without too many repercussions. It was precisely why Levi avoided driving through here.

Yet, he found himself here, driving at a snail's pace, trying to pinpoint your figure out amongst the crowd of drunk undergrads. Given the fact that you were a small person, he had no idea where you could've been.

He parked across the street and shot you a quick text message telling you to get your ass outside within five minutes or he was going to leave. 

The five minutes passed.

He glanced at the frat house you had texted him the address of and still saw no signs of you.

He let out a tut of disapproval as he prepared to re-enter the freezing atmosphere. He was more than irritated as he got out of the car, zipping his jacket up as began walking towards the party.

Despite what he texted you, he wasn't going to leave you here, no matter how much he wanted to go home. He knew how shady these parties could get and that wasn't even considering how upset and intoxicated you had sounded over the phone.

He stared blankly into the crowd, trying to identify you within a sea of people.

It was only by luck that he saw you out of the corner of his eye. You weren't even at the frat house. 

You had stormed off to the nearby street corner, no doubt trying to get away from the party, although it didn't seem like you had a particular destination in mind. 

He began to make his way over to you, but paused once he saw you squat down and hold your chest.

You were upset, drunk, and likely about to be sick because you couldn't control your drinking. 

However, his hesitation quickly faded once he saw that you didn't keel over because you were going to be sick from the alcohol. 

You were struggling to breathe.

His walking quickly turned into a jog as he made his way over to you with a worried look in his eyes.

"What the hell is-"

You were indeed upset about something as tears streamed down your face. Your words were incoherent as you failed to push them out as you hyperventilated, barely taking in any oxygen with each breath in. One hand was placed onto the ground to keep yourself from falling face-first onto the concrete sidewalk, but even that was unsteady. 

"_____?" he called out your name. 

You didn't respond.

"Hey, brat," he said again, more urgently this time. 

When you didn't respond, he kneeled down next to you. 

You were having an anxiety attack. You weren't going to answer him in the state you were in.

He placed his hands on your shoulders and shook you a bit.

"Hey, brat," he spoke again quietly, although still with a sense of urgency as he attempted to ground you.

You rapidly shook your head, your eyes tightly shut, communicating that you knew that he wanted you to calm down, but that you couldn't.

"Look at me," he said sternly.

When you didn't respond, he let out a quiet "tch" before reaching out and gently lifting your chin so that you were looking into his eyes. 

"I said look at me. Do as I say."

Your vision was still wavering, but you were able to somewhat fix your gaze onto his gray eyes. Although you still felt like the world was swirling around you, your immediate field of vision held still. All of your senses seemed distorted, including him, but you tried your best to listen to the words coming out of his mouth.

"Breathe in for four," he instructed.

You parted your lips and took a shaky and unsteady breath in, but it immediately got caught in your throat and you felt your chest convulse as you heaved again. 

He shook your shoulder again to get your attention.

"Through your nose. Try again."

You slowly began to inhale through your nose, never taking your eyes off him.

"Hold for four."

You held your breath, with those four seconds feeling absolutely agonizing. You tried to focus on him as he fixed his gaze intensely on you, refusing to break eye contact with you.

"Out for four. Through your mouth this time."

You exhaled slowly through your mouth, having just done your first successful breathing cycle from within the past twenty minutes or so.

"Good," he said quietly with a nod. "Again."

It took a few more rounds of box breathing, but you were able to stabilize your breathing and somewhat calm your perception of the world around you.

With your anxiety attack somewhat mitigated, you finally collapsed and sat on the ground, burying your face into your hands as you quietly sobbed to yourself.

~~~~~

You were at the same diner as last month. You barely remembered walking in through the doors, much less getting into Levi's car and getting driven here, but you found yourself looking down at the now empty basket of fries and chicken tenders that you had apparently ordered for yourself.

You looked up and saw Levi sitting across the table, having opted for a cup of black coffee. It wasn't like he was going to sleep anyway.

This was the first time that Levi had seen you this upset. Sure, you were upset the last time you were at this diner, but that appeared more similarly to a low mood state, in contrast to him finding you sobbing and hyperventilating on the ground thirty minutes ago.

He could've just taken the both of you home, but considering how unsteady you were as he got you to stand up and how much you were babbling and incoherently apologizing to him, he opted to take you here instead. He figured at least the food would sober you up enough to tell him what the hell had happened.

You had spent the entire car ride sobbing and apologizing to him for a variety of reasons that he had never even thought of or considered. Sure, he was annoyed that you pulled him away from going home and shutting himself in for the night, but apologizing for being useless hardly seemed appropriate.

"...Thanks," you muttered quietly as you sniffled, looking down at the basket of fries. It was less that you were fixated on the fries and more that you were afraid to look up at Levi.

"...Don't mention it," he uttered, taking a few seconds to respond.

You finally glanced up at him, fully expecting him to be scowling at you, but you were instead met with his signature neutral expression.

"I do tend to gravitate towards food when hammered, so..." you said as you trailed off.

"Yeah?" he asked, crossing his arms as he watched you. "So you would've found yourself here regardless?"

"No," you said as you shook your head. "I don't think I would have."

You averted your gaze as you pulled up vague memories of the anxiety attack and Levi coaxing you out of it.

"Not the way that I was anyway."

You didn't expect Levi to come in with knowledge on how to calm you down. Everyone always just said "quit worrying" or "breathe", which did little to nothing. Levi was the last person you had expected to show up and actually walk you through something as fundamental as breathing—but you were grateful. You really didn't know what you would have done had he not shown up when he did.

You felt your face heat up in embarrassment.

"So...thanks," you mumbled again.

You heard him click his tongue.

"Didn't I just say not to mention it?" 

You vaguely saw him grab something and by the time you looked up, a balled up napkin came flying across the table towards you. Levi had bunched it up and threw it at you as a way of getting you to quit apologizing.

You swatted it away right before it hit your forehead, giving him an annoyed glare.

Regardless, it did make you feel better. You were beginning to sober up.

You stared at the balled up napkin for a few seconds before opening your mouth to speak again.

"Petra said something shitty," you mumbled.

"That girl you're always hanging out with?"

"Yeah," you whispered as you nodded. "She said something about how what my aunt said a few weeks ago could've been her 'way of caring', and that she had a point of-"

You suddenly stopped speaking as you felt your body tense up again as you recited in your head the words your supposed "closest" friend had mentioned to you.

"A point of the fact that I'm 'wasting' my parents' lives being the way that I am," you spoke quietly, with the end of your sentence being barely audible, as if you were afraid that speaking the words would confirm that they were true.

Levi raised his eyebrows at that comment.

"The way that you are?"

You looked over at him and gave him a grim expression.

"The semester didn't end great. Grades weren't all there. I even have some classes that I need to do extra stuff with over break to pass."

Petra's comment threw you off. You hadn't expected it from her. She was generally a very nice person, but you also knew that she'd occasionally mention something out of left field without really thinking about it. She was the embodiment of toxic and blind positivity, which was helpful for superficial problems that weren't actually upsetting. That wasn't really the case when it came to something that bothered you on such a deep level. The alcohol didn't help either.

Levi scoffed and an annoyed expression quickly overtook his facial features.

"Sorry," you whispered again, looking down with a shameful expression.

"What the hell are you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry for bothering you with this," you said as you continued to look down. "I can tell it's annoying you."

You knew how late it was and you knew that he worked a closing shift tonight. The fact that he came all the way out and took the time to get you food to sober you up and make sure that you were okay filled you with regret, guilt, and remorse.

You heard him let out a sigh of disappointment.

"It's not that."

You glanced up at him again, unsure of what he was trying to say.

"I just forget how annoying you all are about your grades," he grumbled while glaring off to the side. 

Upon seeing you staring at him with a confused expression, he leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table while looking at you.

"People aren't to give a shit about your grades after you get your first job. Hell, even your first job is barely going to look at your grades. Your grades don't mean shit if you don't have anything to back it up with."

You fell silent, looking at the table as you contemplated his words. You knew what he was getting at. Good grades weren't enough.

"You're worth more than a letter on some piece of paper."

Your eyes widened as he spoke. He had gone from what sounded like beratement to affirmation within the blink of an eye. You were speechless as you looked at him. You didn't know how to respond.  You didn't know how to even process it. Regardless, his words had hit you on some level.

You saw his eyes flash down to your empty basket of fries. He began to get up while you found yourself in your dumbfounded stupor, bringing his wallet out as he walked up to the front counter with an irritated look on his face.

You watched him as you saw him chatting with the cashier up front to pay for your late-night meal.

You're worth more than a letter on some piece of paper.

Whether you would consciously admit it or not, those words were what you needed to hear. People always seemed to measure your worth based on your grades or your ability to get a certain thing done, and you still found yourself always preoccupied with what others thought.

For the first time, someone told you directly that those metrics did not dictate your worth. Your grades weren't everything. 

Those words undoubtedly meant a lot, but it was strange. The strange part was that it came from Levi. He's the last person you would catch providing words of comfort to someone. Although you can't realistically say that you hate him anymore—which was hopefully reciprocated by him—you still didn't expect that from him.

However, because it was Levi, who usually wanted nothing to do with you, you were able to believe that what he said was true. It wasn't a blanket statement or something he pulled out of his ass to make you feel better. He just wasn't that type of person.

Thus, you found yourself reacting much more to those words than you would have had it been anyone else.

Levi glanced back at you, noticing that you were watching him. He broke eye contact with you to sign the receipt that the cashier had printed out for him.

Everything he said was true. You really were worth more than whatever dumb grade some asshole with a PhD decided to slap onto your GPA record.

Throughout the course of the semester, your perception of what Levi thought of you versus what Levi actually thought of you shifted and fell out of balance. He thought higher of you than you thought he did, although you weren't quite in the headspace to be able to accept or process that.

All you knew was that one sentence was enough to encourage you to fight past the hurdle that consisted of this very shitty first semester.

#: @levisbrat25 @gothgril69 @sckerman @berrijam @notgoodforlife @meowjaa @averysmolbear @roseofdarknessblog @bejewelledd @hhighkey @ayame236 @sad-darksoul @velouria17 @kamyru @l1zk4 @layenacreates @lamees004 @whoami-72 @highgoon69 @chaotic-on-main @levishotgf @nube55 @chosos-mascara @heichoucleanfreak @svftackerman

[taexbankai]

I only want you

the other 9 chapters are on my page!

-this is the last chapter finally yayyy. i was really debating on whether i should write this chapter or just leave the story alone but i decided to just do it lol

-please excuse any grammar errors, it’s been a long few weeks lmao

———————

“satoshi and saori, grab your coats so we can leave”

“okay mommy!”

it’s currently 6:23pm and we have to be at satoru’s job by 7pm as he’s receiving an award tonight. it took me at least 2 hours to get the twins ready and dressed. satoshi didn’t want to put his suit on and saori kept crying about wanting to wear make up so she can “impress daddy”

“wait, before we leave let me take a picture of you both! you look so cute” i said to the twins. they smiled at me and gave each other a hug and waited for me to take their picture. after i finished taking their pictures, we left the house and walked to the car

“put your seat belts on!” i said while getting into the car with the twins. i waited until both of them put their seatbelts on before driving off to satoru’s job

“daddy!” saori screamed as soon as she locked her eyes on satoru. she let go of my hand and ran full speed towards satoru, who was speaking with some colleagues

“my babygirl!” satoru said, turning around and smiling at saori. he picked her up and she gave him a kiss on the cheek

“guess you’re stuck with me for the night honey” i said to satoshi who was still holding my other hand

“i don’t mind mommy, i want to stay with you” he said. i smiled at him and walked towards satoru

“hey baby you look amazing” satoru said, giving me a kiss

“thank you, so do you” i told him

“your family is beautiful gojo!” i turned my attention to his coworker in front of me

“thank you!” satoru said proudly

“they look just like you gojo” one of his other colleagues said

“yeah, i spent 9 months carrying both of them just for them to come out with white hair and blue eyes. the disrespect” i said jokingly which made everyone laugh

“i think that their facial features look more like you… they just stole gojo’s color pallet” his colleague said which made satoru and i laugh

“how old are you?” satoru’s work friends asked satoshi

“five” he said shyly, moving behind my legs to hide

“yeah, we’re this many!” saori proudly said while holding up her hand, showing 5 fingers

“so cuteeee, omg i want twins now” another colleague said, this one being a girl

“thank you so much” i said, a huge smile on my face

“babe are you and the kids hungry?, they have a buffet out and ready. my parents and suguru are here too somewhere. probably sitting down at a table” satoru asked, turning to me

“i’m sure the twins are hungry. i’ll feed them, but i’m going to wait for you before i eat” i told him.

“i won’t be too long, just have to finish making my rounds” he said

“okay mr.COO” i said, a big smile on my face. satoru returned my smile and tried to pass saori to me

“no daddy! i want to stay with you!” she said, upset

“don’t you want to eat?” satoru asked her

“i’ll eat with you” she said. satoru looked at me for help

“hey, you wanted a daddy’s girl… now you got her. you always spoil her rotten” i told him

“not fair. you wanted a mommy’s boy, we both got what he asked for” he said, playfully pouting

“come on saori, daddy has to work” i said to her, grabbing her from satoru

“okay” she said, tears slowly making it’s way to her eyes

“hey don’t cry!, i’ll be right back okay? wait for me to get back so we can eat together okay babygirl?” satoru said to her. she immediately started jumping up and down, any sadness in her body now being gone

“okay!” she said

“mommy, can we go sit down now? i see uncle suguru and auntie yuki over there” satoshi said

“sure baby” i told him. i grabbed saori's hand and walked over to the table where everyone was sitting

“grandma! grandpa!” the twins yelled as they saw satoru’s parents

“my grand babies!” satoru’s mom said as she opened her arms , waiting for a hug

“well, if it isn’t my favorite grandkids” satoru’s dad said

“we’re your only grandkids” satoshi said, earning a loud laugh from mr.gojo

“smart, just like your grandad” he said. i walked over to them and gave both of them a hug before walking over to suguru and yuki, also giving them a hug

“hey, where’s my niece?” i asked suguru

“she wanted to stay with mom. she’s been over there for 2 days now, she doesn’t want to leave” suguru said while shaking his head

“that’s because mom and dad always spoil the kids when they’re over there. for a 7 year old, it must be heaven staying over there” i told him

“every weekend she wants to go over there. now that it’s summer break i doubt she’ll ever want to come home” yuki said, a happy smile on her face

“yeah, the twins are going over there tomorrow and are staying for a few days. mom and dad keep asking for them, they were just at satoru’s parent’s house for almost a week!” i told her

“well hey, now you and satoru will have some alone time” she said, making sure to throw a wink at me

“i know. he’s been so busy with work lately, we didn’t have time to go out or anything while his parents had them” i said, glancing at the twins who were each on their grandparents laps, talking and smiling

“okay i’m back… why haven’t any of you started eating yet?” satoru said as he came up to our table

“we were waiting for you son” his mom said while smiling at him

“yeah, it is your big night after all” his dad said

“well, let’s go eat. my kids are hungry” he said while laughing. everyone laughed with him and we stood up and made our way over to the buffet. satoru and i both held two plates, one for ourselves and then one for one of the twins. once we grabbed everything we and the twins wanted to eat, we made our way back over to the table. we started eating, talking and just having a good time

“excuse me everyone? may i have your attention please?” everyone in the building looked towards the stage and saw a man in a nice suit speaking into the microphone

“hello, my name is yaga. i will be presenting the awards for the night as mr.gojo asked me to himself” i glanced at satoru’s father who continued to eat his food

‘wouldn’t the ceo of the company give out the awards?’ i thought. i shook the thought off and continued eating while watching everyone who received an award go up to the stage and get theirs. satoru ended up winning 4 different awards

“for this last award, the ceo will present it himself” yaga said. everyone began to clap as satoru’s dad began to stand up

“grandpa can i come?”

“me too? pleaseeee?” the twins asked him. he laughed and nodded his head. they both jumped up from their seats and went to hold his hands as he walked up to the stage. satoru and i immediately took our phones out and started recording

“good evening everyone. i just want to say thank you to all of you who came out here tonight, and congratulations to all of my wonderful employees who’ve helped me and the company out in so many different ways. i appreciate each and every one of you. i have my grandchildren here with me tonight. they mean everything to me, say hi” satoru’s dad said as he lowered the mic so the twins could speak into it

“hello!” satoshi said

“hi! that’s my daddy over there!” saori said and pointed to satoru. the room erupted in a fit of laughter

“they’re so cute”

“they’re so well behaved

“awww omg look at them!” i heard from around the room. satoru blew a kiss to saori

“look at my babies!” i said to myself, feeling like a proud mom. suguru, yuki and satoru’s mom also had their phones out recording the twins

“i just love them so much. anyways back to the awards… i’ve been thinking over this for a while trying to decide how i wanted to give this award. my wife stayed up with me for many nights helping me collect my thoughts. instead of saying all the mushy stuff i originally had planned, i’ll just get right to it” he turned to his left and motioned for someone on the side to come out. shortly after a worker came out holding three different trophies, two small ones and one larger one. he handed them to satoru’s dad

“ thank you!… really quick, i would like to give these 2 awards to 2 very hard workers. they come in on the weekends and give me company in my office. i help them with homework and in return they show me unconditional love and support. i don’t think i could go on living without these two in my life. so i would like to give satoshi and saori gojo these awards” he said. everyone started clapping and cheering. i stood up in shock, making sure i was still recording, i moved closer to the stage to record and take pictures. satoru followed right after me

“look at our babies” i said to satoru, tears threatening to fall. i watched the twins look at their grandfather in shock before happily grabbing their trophies and giving him a hug. they then got ready and posed for the professional photographer

“i didn’t know my father was planning on doing this. i’m so happy he did though, look at their smiles” satoru said to me. i turned to look at him and saw that he was crying

“okay, now that my grand babies have gotten their trophies, it’s time for my last and final award. i’ve owned this company for over 40 years, my blood, sweat, and tears are in this company and i couldn’t be more proud of how it came out. with that said, I’m at the age where i want nothing more than to relax on vacation with my wife and grandkids, so that leads me to my next statement. my one and only child, my miracle child, gojo satoru, it’s finally the time where i let you take over the company… now come up here and get this trophy mr.ceo” satoru father said, tears in his eyes. satoru looked at me in utter disbelief

“congratulations baby! i’m so proud of you!” i said to him, giving him a kiss. everyone around us was cheering. i could no longer hold in my tears, a few fell onto my face from happiness. satoru gave me one final kiss before he walked up onto the stage and gave his dad a heartfelt hug. the twins also hugged him and the photographer took a picture of all of them together. satoru’s mother came up onto the stage and took a picture with them as well

“now one with just you guys!” his father said. i went on stage and stood on the other side of satoru, he put his right arm around my waist and had his left hand on satoshi’s shoulder. the twins stood directly in front of us and we posed for the camera. once all the pictures were done we all returned to our seats and the event continued on as usual.

“hey satoru, congrats on your promotion!” one of satoru’s coworkers said as she came over to our table. she called him satoru instead of gojo so i assumed they’re close

“thanks akari” he said to her

“a few of the guys want to take a shot with you to celebrate. wanna come with me?” she asked him, leaning down closer to him

“i’m driving home tonight so no” satoru said, taking a glance at me

“i thought you came with suguru?” she asked

“i did, and i’m leaving with my wife and kids” he said, getting slightly frustrated

“one drink won’t hurt though!” she said, trying to convince him to drink

“he said he’s good. the answers no” i said, getting irritated by her constant begging. she looked at me with a shocked expression while satoru smiled at me

“okay okay, no drinks then. just come swing by and say hey” she said. satoru sighed and stood up

“i’ll be right back” he said to me before he followed akari to where the men who wanted to celebrate with satoru were standing

“she was clearly flirting with him…right in front of you at that” yuki said, scoffing in disbelief

“she’s always like that. that’s why i usually try to keep her and satoru separate while at work but she always will always find some reason to enter his office and bug him” satoru’s dad said. i didn’t respond and instead checked on the twins. they were eating some cake and watching videos on mine and satoru’s phones

“i’m gonna head over there with satoru for a little… wanna come babe?” suguru asked yuki, she nodded her head and they both walked over there to join satoru

“y/n, can i take the twins back with me to our house?” satoru’s mother asked me

“sure. i’ll pick them up tomorrow because they’re going to my parents house around 2pm” i told her

“oh don’t worry, i’ll drop them off to your parents house! you just relax and enjoy your time with satoru” she said. i smiled and thanked her. they didn’t need any clothes, toothbrushes or anything since they each had their own rooms, clothes, toys, ipads, and everything else at each of our parents houses

“so you’re really not our ceo anymore huh?” a man said to satoru’s dad as he sat down in satoru’s previous seat

“nope. my son is more than capable of running this company on his own. hell, he’s been helping me run it since he was 17” satoru’s father said, a laugh following him after he finished speaking

“that’s nice. i’m sure he’s gonna do great things with this company” the man said, a small smile on his face

“how have you been naoya? how’s your father?”

“he’s been good, we both have been. what about you?”

“all has been well!”

“i see… what a beautiful family you have here” naoya said as he looked at the twins and then me

“yes… very beautiful” he repeated, his eyes locked on mine. i cleared my throat and turned to my right to check on the twins again, who were still preoccupied with their cake and videos

“yes, well my son was lucky enough to find such a beautiful bride” satoru’s father said. i turned my head and smiled at him

“he’s a lucky man” naoya said, turning to face satoru’s parents again

“y/n sweetie, we’re gonna start getting ready to go, it’s getting a little late” satoru’s mother said. i said okay and told the twins to take one more bite of their cake

“but i’m not done yet mommy!” satoshi whined

“don’t worry, there’s more cake at grandma’s house! and it’s your favorite flavor!” satoru’s mom said. the twins smiled and got up to stand with satoru’s parents. i gave his parents hugs and kissed both of the twins on their forehead

“do you want me to walk you out?” i asked his parents

“no it’s okay sweetheart, satoru is headed this way so he can walk us out. i have to speak with him about something anyways. go enjoy yourself” his father said

“you guys leaving already?…. and stealing my kids again i see” satoru said as he stood behind me, a smile on his face

“yes, can you walk us out? i have to speak to you about something” his dad said. satoru followed them outside. i turned around and walked back to our table and saw that naoya was still sitting there on his phone

“is your family not here with you tonight or something?” i asked him, sitting down in a different seat than before so we wouldn’t be sitting side by side. he looked up from his phone and immediately started smiling

“nope, just me tonight. i came with some friends though” he said. i nodded my head and took a sip of my drink that was still on the table

“so..” he said, getting up from his seat and moving into the empty seat right next to me

“how long have you and satoru been married for?” he asked me

“all these chairs and you decide to sit right next to me?” i asked him as i scooted my seat away from him

“sorry, i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. i just wanted to get to know you better” he said. i felt a little bad for being so mean to him

“5 years… we’ve been married for 5 years” i told him

“wow 5 years? you guys dated for how long before that?” he asked

“2 years. i got pregnant after our honeymoon” i said

“amazing. his father told me that you two have known each other your entire lives. i can tell you mean a lot to him. that diamond on your finger is quite literally blinding… how are you able to walk around with it shining in your face?” naoya said. i looked down at my wedding ring and laughed at his joke

“that’s just satoru’s style” i told him, a smile now on my face

“i see. the diamond is in the shape of a heart too, wow” he said, slightly scooting closer to me to look at my ring, which i happily showed him

“yeah, it also has a little bit of pink mixed in there too! our names are engraved on the inside of the band, his wedding band is the same. he’s so thoughtful when it comes to jewelry” i told him, smiling from thinking back to when satoru proposed to me. the beach proposal with airplanes writing out will i marry him was so romantic to me. i was pulled out of my thoughts by naoya grabbing my hand gently and pulling to towards himself

“yes, very thoughtful indeed….though if it were me, i would have gotten you 3 rings with 3 different diamond shapes that you can switch out every other day” he said. i let out a awkward laugh and tried to pull my hand back

“i don’t need 3 ring-“

“you don’t need satoru. you’re too beautiful to be with someone like him. he’s so cocky” he said. my slight smile dropped as i looked at naoya. i thought he was cool but obviously i was wrong

“let go of my hand please” i told him

“just listen to me beautiful, i can make you feel good… much better than lousy ass satoru can-“ naoya was cut off by satoru roughly pulling his hand away from mine and gently pulling me up from my seat, wrapping his arm protectively around my waist

“flirting with other people’s wives now naoya? unbelievable” satoru said while glaring at naoya

“jealous satoru? scared i’m gonna take your sexy wife?” he said, standing up and glaring back at satoru

“don’t react satoru, you know he’s not worth it” suguru said as he walked over to us with yuki

“ah, suguru. you and satoru really are always together. must be pretty happy huh? now you and satoru have both taken over your father’s companies” naoya said. both suguru and satoru ignored him

“let’s go” satoru said. he grabbed my purse and i made sure i had both of our phones and all 3 trophies from tonight before grabbing satoru’s hand and following him towards the door, suguru and yuki coming as well. once we made it outside i felt someone grab my arm

“wait” we all stopped and turned around to see naoya holding onto me

“let go of her right fucking now!” satoru yelled, his anger quickly rising as he approached naoya. i snatched my arm from naoya and place my hand on satoru’s chest trying to calm him down

“toru lets just leave. we were having a good night… don’t let him fuck it up” i said to him

“she’s right satoru” suguru said. satoru took a deep breath and turned back around as we continued walking to our car. naoya continued to follow us. once we made it to the car, i put the trophies in the back seat as satoru opened the passenger side door for me and began walking to the drivers side

“you’re really gonna stay married to a man like that?” naoya asked. i ignored him and closed the back door before walking over to suguru and yuki who were parked just beside us. i gave both of them hugs and said our goodbyes. satoru came over as well to begin saying bye

“someone like satoru doesn’t deserve happiness! he took everything from me! i wanted to become the next ceo. i worked here longer than satoru has. it’s not fair, he got the position because he’s his son! satoru has been privileged since the day he was born. to make matters worse, he has a loyal best friend, a hot wife, and 2 beautiful children who are twins?! it’s just not fair! i should be the one who get’s to come home everynight to you and the kids. i should be the one making love to you and making you feel good, i should-“ i walked up to naoya and slapped him across the face. everyone stood there in silence, shocked from my actions

“you make me sick. the fact that you’re standing here speaking ill of my husband right in front of me is crazy. this is why you have no lover, no trusted friends, no children, and no company. don’t speak to me ever again” i said, turning around once i was finished talking. i walked back over to our car and got in, closing the door. satoru got in right after me and started the car up

“you want to go out somewhere?” satoru asked me, not wanting to bring up anything else involving naoya. i turned towards satoru after putting my seatbelt on

“sure, where to?” i asked

“a club. suguru and yuki are already going. he just asked me if we were down to come but i didn’t get the chance to ask you because of everything that was going on” he said. i laughed and agreed with going

———————after the club—————

“y/n, you need to drink some water” satoru said as he carried me into the house

“babeeee, i’m fineeeee” i said, holding tightly onto his neck to keep myself from falling

“i knew i shouldn’t have let you drink that much” satoru said while kicking the front door closed. he skillfully moved through our dark house and went straight to our bedroom. he gently placed me down on the corner of our bed and then walked over to the bathroom and turned on the bath water

“take your clothes off and get into the bath. the smell of the alcohol yuki spilled on your dress is extremely strong” he said to me as he walked out of the room and back downstairs. i listened to him and began taking my clothes off before stumbling over to the warm bath. i got in and turned the water off as the tub was filling up quickly

“toru!….. toru?!” i called out satoru’s name wondering what was taking him so long

“i’m here baby what’s the matter?” he asked as he enter the bathroom, a cold water bottle in his hand

“get in with me please?” i asked. he laughed at me and handed me the water bottle that was in his hand

“you’re so cute when you’re drunk” he said as he started unbuttoning his shirt

“actually, i’m not that drunk… just a little tipsy” i said. satoru got into the large tub and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me onto his lap and making my chest hit his chest

“satoru gojo!” i yelled, surprised by his sudden actions. i gently slapped his chest while he laughed at my reaction

“i love you so much y/n. you make me so happy, i honestly think i’m the luckiest man in the world. i have a beautiful, loving wife who blessed me with two healthy, beautiful children” satoru said while looking at me

“and now you’re the ceo of your dad’s company!” i said to him excitedly. he didn’t respond, instead he just looked at me and smiled

“yes, i truly have everything” he said. i smiled at him and gave him a kiss

“i love you too toru. thank you for taking such good care of me and the twins. you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me” i told him, tears falling from my eyes

“my little cry baby… i’m afraid you’ve passed this trait down to our children” he said while laughing, earning himself another slap on the chest

“come here” he whispered. i sat up straight as satoru pulled me into another kiss, this one being more passionate than the last one. the once innocent kiss started to slowly heat up as satoru pushed his tongue into my mouth. our tongues moved against each other for a while before i started sucking on his tongue

“fuck…you’re gonna make me go crazy y/n” satoru said once he broke the kiss

“that’s the plan” i said. he smirked at me and shifted my body on his lap. he gently pulled me up and positioned himself at my entrance before slowly pulling me back down. as i sunk down onto his dick i watched satoru’s reaction. the way he threw his head back and moaned out my name while keeping his eyes closed. the way his mouth was slightly open and how his eyebrows furrowed as he continued entering me

“sorry baby, i just couldn’t wait any longer. since i saw you walk into the ceremony with that tight dress on i couldn’t think about anything else but fucking you” he said. satoru didn’t wait for me to respond, instead he pulled me upwards and then slammed me back down onto him causing me to wrap my arms around his neck to keep my balance

“wait… let me do it. i want to watch your face while i fuck you” i told him. he let go of my hips and smirked at me

“guess you’re in charge tonight” he said as he leaned back against the bathtub, lifting his arms to hang on the rim while looking at me waiting for my next move. i looked at him, a huge smile on my face as i thought back to my little 15 year old heart broken self. i really married my first love, had kids with him and is living a dream come true. i couldn’t be any happier right now.

———————————

IT’S DONEEEEE!!! i was going to add a last smut in but someone dm me the other day and told me that i’m absolute trash at writing smut’s and that my words aren’t very descriptive during the smut so i decided not to write it. anyway, thank you all for reading my story i really hope it was enjoyable… until next time, byeeeee.

[shmackhaystack]

The Queen and Her Levi - Chapter 6: Your Grace.

King!Levi Ackerman x fem!reader

Description:

"All my life I have never known what it was like to love someone, if anything, really. Until I met you, and everything changed, you brat."

"Reader" has a name, if you don't like it, then change it to your own, the world is your oyster.

Will contain VERY mature and triggering content. Viewer discretion is advised and minors please DNI.

Also on Wattpad. If you would like to message me please feel free! I would appreciate and encourage any feedback. Hope you enjoy.

[word count: 3.9k]

Prologue | Previous chapter

Asuna woke up more sore than she was the night before. Still naked, she opened her eyes to see Levi's side of the bed empty. She heard the shower running in the bathroom. She didn't even realize he ended up sleeping next to her last night, she never saw him. Maybe he didn't stay at all, though she did notice that his side of the bed wasn't made yet. Yeah, never mind. He stayed. 

It was 10:30am. Damn, I only got 4 hours of sleep. How the hell am I going to get through today? Finally more awake then before to be able to think properly, but extremely sore, she quickly grabs one of her dresses from her suitcase and puts it on before Levi got out out the bathroom. She sits back down on the bed and patiently waits for him, ready to confront him for his actions and pain that he had caused her the night before, early this morning actually. 

Levi stepped out of the bathroom which made her jump a bit. He was wearing a towel over his waist and still had water droplets in his hair, he looks at her and gives her his soft smile that makes her stomach flutter. He walks towards her and takes off the towel around his waist and hangs it up, leaving him completely nude and walking right toward her. 

She expected the worst again. He's just going to do this all the time now isn't he? Asuna stands up and takes a few steps back, silently asking him to please not do this right now. Before she knew it he was right in front of her, cupping her cheek and passionately kissing her again, slipping some tongue. He lets go after a couple seconds then walks back to grab his pants and belt, putting it on. She breathes a sigh of relief and sits back down, not knowing what the hell to say. 

"Good morning," he breaks the silence. "You sleep well?"

"No, not particularly..." she replies, turning her back toward him, hoping that he got the hint as to why she got no sleep and why she is more terrified of him than she ever has been before. 

He starts to put on his white dress shirt with his trademark white ascot, looking in the mirror to make sure that his hair isn't messed up and that his ascot is straightened out, he finally finished by putting on his black blazer and tightening his belt. She could see him getting dressed in the corner of her eye but still refused to look at him, but he makes it back to her first before leaving.

"There is a lot of work to do before the wedding, I've already begun preparations for it. If everything goes as planned, it will be within the coming week." He says. Staring down at her while she continued to look down sitting on the side of the bed. She doesn't respond, she just listens and sighs.

"Hey," he raises his voice a just a bit which causes her to instinctively look up at him. He holds her chin up so she can look into his eyes. "Was your innocence really that important to you?"

"I had told you multiple times that I was not ready, and you did it anyway. You fucking tied me up, Levi." She breaks her silence. "What do you expect me to make of that?"

"The deal was when I took you was that you were mine, and you're going to be my wife." He replies. "Shouldn't a husband be able to do whatever he wants with his wife?"

"I'm not your wife yet... even then I don't think its in any rulebook that a husband is supposed to force himself onto his wife." she defies him. She may be terrified of him, but she had been raised to always defend herself against anybody that takes advantage of her, even if that one person happens to be the King. 

He looks at her and doesn't say anything, just thinking. She was right, though. He knew that when he had done what he did last night, then she was most likely going to hate him for it, or even be afraid of him, which she was. Though, at the same time he was confident that he would eventually gain her trust and get used to him and his ways. After all, she wasn't going anywhere. He tries to put both his hands on her face to look at her better, but she slaps his hand away.

"You told me... you would never hurt me!" she cries. Trying not to let tears run down her eyes once again, she wanted to be stronger from now on, considering her circumstances and her future as a Queen.

"Even if it's right or not right in your eyes, I don't plan to hurt you, nor stop what I want to do with you." Levi says. Preparing to walk off and leave her questioning her worth once again.

Asuna realizes that her version of 'hurt' and his are completely different. He wasn't going to change, he wasn't going to take her interests at heart. She got it now, he wasn't just humanities strongest nor the King of the Walls, he was a selfish asshole, who takes advantage of his own power and does what he wants to others, even his Queen. A part of her always knew, but now she was certain. He may have been attracted to her, but Levi only took her hand in marriage because he needed to get married, and rejected to marry any other girl that was thrown at him, and that the only reason she is here is for his mere entertainment. 

She sighs softly, the discreetly looks to her left towards the doors of their bedroom, then looking back up at him to see that he did not take his eyes off her the entire time.

"You planning to run away?" he asks.

"I am strongly considering it." 

He chuckles, giving her one last kiss to her forehead before walking away and heading for the door. She stands up and thinks in her head that she can probably make a run for it, but all the odds seemed to be against her. 

"Well, you can't." He turns back then opens the door to leave. "I have work to do, there should be maids coming in soon to help you with your wardrobe. Hange also insisted that she would be the one to show you around the castle, so get ready for that, too."

With that, he turns around and closes the door behind him. Hearing a lock shortly after, she groans in annoyance. Falling onto the bed face first and screaming into the pillow. Is this asshole really going to keep me locked in here the entire time? I sure fucking hope not. Asuna thought about what her rights will be as a Queen once her and Levi get married, maybe once it is official he won't be able to enforce her being locked in this room 24/7. So much for the version of 'never hurting her' or 'never treat her unfairly.' Did he actually say that? I don't remember. Regardless, he's not going to keep me in this fucking room forever.

She walks out to the balcony and feels the sunlight shine on her for the first time since she's been here. She sees the town beneath her, she hears the voices and commotion within it, as well as Wall Sina in the distance. She doesn't think she has ever seen the wall open like this before, and it was beautiful, all of it. Feeling the breeze against her face, she takes a deep breath and admires the life living below her. It is absolutely insane that a world like this is surrounded by giant monsters who want nothing but to eat us, not that I've ever seen one. Is this how it is going to be for life as we know it? 

She tries to lay back down, still exhausted from the events of last night as well as her lack of sleep. Now that he's gone, maybe she can just rest a bit before those maids or whoever he referred to were going to come in. She was surprisingly excited to meet new faces, the fear of the idea of her being trapped inside a room all day with nobody to talk to. I wish he would let me actually know him rather than just kiss me and fuck me, take my virginity, with no meaning behind it. All I've wanted was to feel loved by someone, if anything. I felt that kind of love with Harrison, but it was unfortunate that I didn't feel the same. 

This, on so many levels, was different. 

After about 20 minutes, Asuna closes her eyes and drifted off, the exhaustion that she's felt since this was all happening was finally catching up to her. The nerves calmed down, all the fear she felt was slowly slipping away, finally, she could rest her head in peace. 

Like she has been so many times, she was wrong. 

She hears a knock on the door, quickly shooting up from her slumber and looks at the door. Hearing it knock one more time, she doesn't know where to go from here. Do I say something? Or are they just going to walk in?

"Uhh, come in?" she hesitantly says.

After that, the door is unlocked and opens before she knew what was happening. A tall girl walks in with a hand maiden dress, she had short black haired and smiled at Asuna with delight and waved. Asuna gets up from the bed and rubs her eyes, attempting to wake up. Seeing the black haired girl waving at her, following her was five other handmaidens who came in with countless amount of dresses, clean sheets and towels and bows before her, as if she was some sort of Goddess. Ladies, please don't. I'm no Goddess, nor am I a Queen.

"Your Grace," the black haired girl bows to her, following the others to do the same. "We have been ordered to help you with your wardrobe and getting set up with everything!"

Your Grace? Are you kidding?  Deep down she didn't want anyone to call her that, but she expected that is what was expected of them, since she is now the Queen, or will be at least...in the coming week, she will be officially be titled as 'Your Grace,' despite not feeling that way at all, nor feeling like she could ever deserve that kind of title. 

"Hi." Asuna replies. Seeing all of the handmaidens await for her to give her cue for them to come forward and walk in. They didn't want to upset her or make her uncomfortable, after all. 

"May we come in?" the black haired girl asks politely. She can sense by their presence and their manners that they are only here to help. With that, she nods.

They all walk in as if they knew the bedroom by heart. Carrying in lots of clothing that was covered so that she couldn't see what they looked like beneath. All walking towards her and putting the clothes in her closet while quietly saying 'Your Grace' as they continued doing what they came to do. She didn't know what to do or what to say, politely nodding her head as they walked all around her. They must have been told not to speak to her unless spoken to, but that's not what she wanted at all. The only person who spoke up and broke the silence was the black haired girl, who came up to her and bowed in front of her. 

"Your Grace, we have been sent to get your wardrobe set up, as well as grant you with any request that you may need."

"Um, thank you!" she hesitantly replies. "Actually, I am pretty hungry, I... haven't eaten since..."

"Yes! Of course!" the black haired girl responds. "Shall we get you some breakfast?"

"Yes please." Asuna smiles, grateful to someone for actually granting her some kindness. With that, a couple of the maids nod and walk out to go get their Queen some food, while the others stayed and get up the dresses for her to try on, as well as changing the sheets to the bed, which were far from clean prior to the night before. As the two girls change the sheets to the bed, they saw small blood stains that covered it, they notice it and expected why they were there, but didn't say anything to avoid making their Queen feel awkward. 

Looking down in embarrassment, she got reminded again on everything that just happened the night prior, feeling slightly sad and defeated. The black haired girl stands in front of her and looks at her in sadness. She can probably guess why Asuna was feeling down, as well as why there were blood stains on the sheets, she wanted to comfort her and tell her that everything will get easier, and that she is going to be happy here, but at the moment, she wasn't happy at all.

"Are you okay?" the girl asks her. Asuna looks up and seems surprised on her asking her if she was alright. Do I really not look like I'm okay? I mean, I'm not... but I really don't want to look like I'm sad. 

That question seemed to get to her more than the maid girl expected it to. She looks up at the girl with an expression in her eyes that would break anyone's heart, her eyes started to water as she attempted to not break down once again. She nods without trying to show her true feels and smiles softly. 

"May I?" the black haired girl asks her while extending out her hands to grab hers. Asuna nods and takes her hands in hers, small tears finally slipping out as she couldn't hold it in anymore, especially if someone is nice enough to give her comfort while she goes through her this kind of stress. 

"It will get easier," the sweet maid girl reassures her. "I promise."

Asuna wipes her tears and chuckles softly. "I'm sorry, but can I ask who you are?"

"I'm Dana, Your Grace!" she responds joyfully, still holding onto her hands and squeezing them to comfort her. "I'm your new personal handmaiden!"

Personal handmaiden? She thought. Like somebody that's going to bathe and cloth me all the time? I'd really prefer to do that all myself... I mean, if she's going to be considered my personal handmaiden, she should let me know what I want. At least she seems sweet.

"It's nice... to meet you..." she replies shyly. "I'm sorry, I'm just a bit nervous."

"That's okay," she smiles back. "I can understand completely, but if there is anything you need at all, please ask me. There is nothing I want to do more but to make your new life here better."

Asuna smiles and silently thanks her. Maybe this personal handmaiden of hers will become somebody she can actually trust, somebody she can talk to whenever she needs it. Hange seemed like she'd be trustworthy and would be there for her when she needs it. Though, Hange was extremely busy all the time with Scout Regiment missions and her studies on the existence of the titans, Asuna doesn't want to bother her when she's occupied on other things. So with Dana, she was able to rely on her when she is going to need it most. 

"Shall we start with your wardrobe?" Dana asks. "We have brought lots of custom designed dresses that I think you'd look amazing in!"

She nods once again, not ever being treated like this before. She turns to see the other handmaidens who just changed the sheets to the bed grabbing out the dresses and items that were in her suitcase. Putting her pictures and other items that she brought to the side, they grabbed the dresses she brought and walked out with them, surprising her on what they are doing with her clothes.

"Wait, what are they doing?" Asuna questions. 

"You don't need those worn out clothes anymore, we're here to bring you new things to wear! After all, since you're going to be the Queen, you'll have to look presentable!" Dana answers her.

What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Wait, I'm not going to say that out loud, I don't want to be mean when she's just here trying to help. Are my clothes not good enough for this place? I mean, most of them were clothes I wore when I was working on the farm at home... But they didn't have to take them away, what the hell.

"I guess?" Asuna responds. 

All the handmaidens helped her undress and took turns helping her into different dresses. A lot of the dresses didn't fit her and started tightening around her waist, her breasts were too big for most of these which surprised the girls on how beautifully shaped she was. They had given her and tried on over 20 dresses that she can wear, the one she liked the best was the long, cream colored silk fabric dress that almost liked like Daenerys Targaryen's wedding dress. It was comfortable and soft, most of the dresses were like this and not too fancy that she would look like a Barbie doll. 

"You are absolutely gorgeous." one of the handmaidens said, warming Asuna's heart a bit. 

"Levi picked well." Another one said. 

"Yeah! I'm jealous!" One more said.

The comments from the other handmaidens made Dana glare at them to shut up as they quickly backed off. The last thing Dana wanted was for Asuna to be more uncomfortable and embarrassed than she already was. After all, four or five girls had came into her room, undressed her and had seen every inch of her body. Dana had decided that from there on she wouldn't bring so many handmaidens to help her dress to make Asuna more comfortable. 

After about an hour, they had given her new dresses and some nightgowns that she can wear to sleep, it didn't seem to bad, she actually really liked how they looked on her, she felt like a princess. As they had began to finish, other girls had finally brought in her breakfast which made her mouth water. She was so hungry, the other girls left, leaving her with just Dana to accompany her. It was a beautiful dish of with French toast and eggs, with some pancakes on the side. It looked so appetizing.

"Thank you for everything," Asuna gratefully says as she begins to dig in, feeling like she hasn't eaten in years. Dana smiles and feels like she was successful at making her Queen feel slightly better.

"Of course, Your Grace." she responds happily. "I just hope you eventually start to like it here, every girl in the kingdom, as well as in the castle, all wish they could be in your place right now."

Dana was right. She was luckier than most, especially on where she stands right now. Beautiful dresses, a luxurious room, and delicious food. The one thing that she wishes would be different was the behavior of her fiancee. She couldn't get the thought out of her head, will he ever change? Or is this just going to be how it is for her now? 

"Also, you don't need to call me that. Just Asuna is fine." She addresses. Dana nods. Anything for my Queen. Dana thought. After a couple minutes of Asuna enjoying her food as if she hadn't eaten in her entire life. She realizes that this new personal handmaiden of hers seemed to be someone who truly had her best interests at heart, unlike someone she knew. 

"I hate him..." Asuna said out of nowhere. Dana glanced at her and widened her eyes in shock, surprised on what she said as well as the idea that she is actually expressing her true feelings to her. 

"Levi-sama?"

"Who else? I don't know how I am going to get through any of this." she said, drinking the tea that was given to her with her breakfast. 

"It's only been one night, and I almost thought about running out the door and getting as far from here as I can." She finishes. 

"Like I said, it will get easier." Dana reassures her again. Knowing what she is referring to. He took her virginity against her will, didn't he? Great way to introduce your future wife to her new home. Damn it, Levi-sama.

"Listen," Dana continues. "I've been here a long time, and I have heard how scary Levi can be, but he's not a bad person. This kingdom is thriving because of him, and now he finally has someone that he can call his wife. You won't be stuck in this room forever, Your Gra- I mean, Asuna-sama. Just give it some time, I promise you everything... will work out."

Dana words really touched her, and surprisingly made her feel a bit more confident than she was before. She was also happy that she called her by her first name rather than Your Grace. I am really starting to like this girl. Asuna thought. 

She may have claimed that she hated Levi, but deep down she may feel like that's an overstatement. He may of hurt her and took advantage of her, with no feeling at all that he might deeply care for her, but he had to have chosen her to be his Queen for a reason, right? The words that Dana said gave her some hope that maybe he might eventually change, and this will all get easier soon. 

"Yeah..." Asuna responds. "Anyways, um.. I was told that Hange was going to come get me soon to show me around the castle. I'm actually quite curious to see all of it! Is she running late?"

A handmaiden girl comes and grabs her plate from the table as Dana tries to figure out the right way to respond. 

"Yeah, she hasn't forgotten!" Dana states. "She's just been a bit preoccupied with some serious business right now." 

With that, as the other handmaidens leave the room, Asuna sees that there are about four guards standing watch at her door, with strong alert in their stances, and other soldiers running by the hallway in a rush to get to their destination. That's weird, are there usually this many guards at my door? 

Confused, she agrees that Hange might have some business to work on before she could get to her. Though, she couldn't help but see the hesitation and fear that Dana had in her eyes, there must be something she wasn't telling her, because she seemed to tense up a bit as if there was something wrong. 

But what was it? What is wrong?

AN:

[I am sorry if this chapter was slow and boring, I am trying to get it so that we understand Asuna's (Or Y/N's) surroundings, also introducing new characters that seem like they can help her along the way. If you've gotten this far in my story, please let me know if you like it so far, I really appreciate you :)]

-Kat