#it takes from a key moment we could see ray heal by standing aside

[savagebisand]

I saw it be said a few times that Boeing is mature and whilst that man is a lot of things that have me questioning if I'm like... Mentally okay to have such a carnal desire for them. Mature is not one of the traits I'd assign. This is a man who is literally playing games with not just one now but two of his exes. He's spent what months? years maybe? being Tops go to call when he doesn't want a lonely night, the second he feels threatened of his security in Tops fucked up life, he makes a move on the so called threat aka Mew. He's master manipulating. Everything he says is double edged and eery and unsettling. Just how much does he pull strings on Top? You see it in how he talks to him, how he touches him.

Boeing doesn't care for Tops boundaries, he may have even been the start of Tops issues with fighting for his own boundaries being respected. Boeing does this thing where he keeps Top coming back to him for more, and he lords it over him. How long has it been, are you still sticking to the three month rule? He knows exactly the power he has and by god does he wield it. Sabotaging Tops other relationships so he can keep number one spot. Deceiving Mew so easily into believing it's a revenge that won't bite him in the ass, that he's a friend and not a wolf in sheep's clothing.

And as if that's not enough, he then next episode targets Sand again, purely because he hears about how Sand has moved on. Kinda like how he doubles down on his position in Tops life because he thinks Top can finally move on with Mew. Like he's terrified of someone replacing his legacy as The Best Option. Boeing likes pulling puppet strings, he likes keeping people stagnant in a place he can leave them and come back to peck at what's left later like a vulture. And the worst part is he does it because he needs attention.

There he is simpering to Mew and Sand about how he thinks he can be a better boyfriend than their current partners. Using Mews history against him, spinning this tale where Top is selfish and Boeing is "The Good Guy", then using his own history with Sand to delude Sand into this vision where he's blameless and just wants him back bad enough he's willing to be "The Bad Guy".

Funny how Boeing only starts caring if he still stands a chance when he thinks his position is threatened as Sands most important ex. He's still got his little revenge plot with Mew in the works but he wants Sand on his belt too. Also, all this man does is talk about his exes. He tells stories of the past where he and Sand played quiz nights at the bar, where Top took him wakeboarding and made him a pro. Constantly trying to undermine what his exes newest partners may see as special time for them because oh hey btw I did that first. The sheer audacity to bring up dates Sand and him used to do whilst at the same time he was prioritising Top over Sand? As if they're like fond memories?

Boeing presents himself as this true friends stab you in the front archetype but he's just a lost, lonely man desperate for even a shred of someone's attention and value. And that's kind of sad actually. Like babes move the fuck on? Get a life outside of these men's business and stop bothering them?

We love Boeing because he steps on the scene and emits this mean girl Regina George energy where you're like oh this vindictive little bitch is truly a supreme conniving pussy slaying cow. But when you peel back his layers it's like you are the most pathetic man to ever breathe sir. How hard is it to just move forward in life?

Boeing is that smart and that pretty and that good at pulling strings to get to high places and he wastes his time circling the flakey little meal that is this group of men. He literally invented gaslight, gatekeep and girlboss specifically for his exes and even Boston would shake in his leather studded cunt serving boots at the sight of Boeing. And yet, he's insignificant. He means nothing to anyone. He's indisposable at any time and he Knows it. He knows one day Top will say he no longer needs Boeing to play ghost of his past still haunting. That Sand will eventually see why Boeing was never the right one. So he claws for control by removing options. Because he'd never be a first choice all on his own.

I'm obsessed with him, I crave him carnally and viciously. I'd do truly wicked things to that maleficent poisonous man. But he better leave Sand tf alone. It's about time someone tells Boeing they want someone whose actually willing to change for them, to see past what is so say "not enough" within them to make Boeing truly loyal or commited, to choose someone who genuinely tries rather than someone who clings to falsified memories of a past with a significance that didn't and doesn't exist.

And yes I do want Sand to be the one to say it because my biggest fear is that Ray will go in all guns blazing when he overhears Boeing making a move on his man, take over the situation and then Sand will lose his chance to get closure and put autonomy back on Boeing for his part in the downfall of their relationship. If ray interferes, it's a loss of a chance for sand to make a point that he chooses ray no matter what in a way Ray can witness and feel the significance of. Because Ray knows but he's still learning that Sand will choose him over everything and he needs to hear Sand of his own volition, let go of such an important part of his past because Ray is the future he picks.

Top got the chance to clearly tell Boeing he picks Mew and now I need to see Sand do the same for Ray without Ray "forcing his hand" to use Rays expression from the ep when it came to making Sand make a big choice the first time around.

[lonelyandlovelorn]

Sorry, I’m Awkward

A/N: I’ll probably write another part to this, but let me know if anyone actually wants that or wants to be tagged.

Genre: fluff, discomfort?

Warning: awkwardness, swearing

Word count: 2500

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem reader

Summary: On a mission with the Winter Soldier himself, you learn he’s not actually an ass and that you’re more embarrassing than you thought. 

Masterlist

Sorry, I’m Awkward Masterlist

It was an easy mission. Locate target. Get information. Get out.

It was supposed to be easy, anyway.

Instead, the mission turned from laughably easy to frustrating and extended. The mission that should have taken less than a day was now going to last three days, which meant spending two nights in a shady motel.

Your partner on this mission was the ever chipper (read: stoic) James Barnes. While you would never really be considered a ray of sunshine on a normal day yourself, Bucky Barnes was the epitome of unhappy when the mission was extended. You tried not to take it personally, understanding his frustration, but it was hard not to feel a little offended when the guy you were a little, tiny bit infatuated with was upset about spending time with you. You also found out that you got very limited funding for your motel room so that you could remain inconspicuous. When you booked the room, it was apparent that the money would not cover two rooms. You asked the concierge for a room for two, not looking forward to spending two nights with Bucky Barnes in the same sleeping quarters. You had been told by multiple friends that you talk in your sleep, and you didn’t need more reasons for Bucky to be annoyed with you. There was nothing you could do about it now, though, so you just moved on and grabbed the keys the concierge handed you.

You both trudged down the hallway towards the room you were obviously thrilled to share. You unlocked the door as gracefully as you could with him watching you like he expected you to screw up and pushed it open. To your horror, there was only one bed. A double bed. Which meant sharing. With the Winter Soldier. You turned to Bucky, seeing that he hadn’t really reacted to the sleeping quarters aside from deepening his frown slightly.

“I’ll head back and check if they have another room,” you said quickly turning towards the door to return to the lobby. A hand reached out and grabbed your arm, keeping you from dashing away from your discomfort that was beginning to feel like a physical presence.

“Would we have enough money for a bigger room?” At least Bucky seemed put together enough to think clearly. There definitely wasn’t enough money leftover for an upgrade. Unfortunately, that brought to your attention just how screwed you were. There wasn’t even a couch, and you had been in some pretty rough conditions, but you were not willing to sleep on the gross looking carpet.

Sighing, you walked to the bed and sat down, putting your head in your hands. “I’m sorry you’re stuck with me,” you muttered into your palms, knowing it was muffled, but he would hear you anyway.

“As long as you don’t hog the bed…” he trailed off. You knew he was trying to make you feel better, but acknowledging the fact that you guys would be sharing the one shitty bed provided by the shitty motel somehow made it even shittier. It’s not like he said that it wasn’t horrible circumstances, that he didn’t mind being stuck with you, he just told you not to take up too much space. How comforting.

Standing up with a sigh, you told him you were going to take a shower, reaching into the shared duffle bag he had been carrying and hastily grabbing a change of clothes, avoiding any and all eye contact. The moment the door was closed, you silently berated yourself, aware of the soldier’s enhanced hearing and not wanting to make things any more awkward if he heard you verbally scolding yourself.

No one would really define you as confident, but you were also pretty sure the only time you would ever be described as meek was in the presence of the man on the other side of the door. Something about him made you so painfully nervous that it made you a mess. The worst part was, you were completely aware of how awkward and quiet you were when he was around, but there wasn’t a damn thing you could do about it. Knowing there was no point in wallowing over your predicament, you turned on the shower and began to undress, more than ready to wash off the dirt of the day and enjoy the healing powers of a good shower. You were pretty sure Bucky would be annoyed if you took a super long shower, so you tried to be as efficient as possible to give yourself a few minutes to just stand under the water and calm down. When you stepped out, you dried off and began to get dressed. Everything was fine until you realized that you hadn’t grabbed any clean pants to put on. You honestly blamed Bucky for your stupidity. You were so flustered before you came into the bathroom that you hadn’t even bothered to check that you had everything.

You put on the rest of your clothes and tried to decide how to move forward from your predicament. Going out pantsless in front of Bucky was not really an option, but you also didn’t want to have to ask him to grab them for you. There wasn’t another option you could see, as the pants you had been wearing before the shower were too dirty and would just force you to take another shower. Mustering up your courage, you opened the door and poked your head out, ready to swallow your pride and ask the Winter Soldier to grab you some pajama pants. To your surprise (and great relief), he was nowhere to be seen. You listened for a second and looked around, making sure the coast was actually clear of the soldier before sneaking towards the duffle bag, on a mission.

The bag was on the opposite side of the bed, so you walked around it, your back facing the door, as you bent down and started digging through the bag. You had just grabbed your bottoms when you heard the door open. Squeaking, you turned around suddenly, trying to cover yourself as you went and somehow managing to trip yourself in the process. You went down spectacularly, sprawled out, pantsless, and flushed. You were too preoccupied to even think about the gross motel carpet as you made eye contact with Bucky, absolutely mortified. He was carrying a bag of food, but his jaw was dropped and he was just staring at you, half-dressed and on the floor. After what felt like a minute, but was probably only a split-second, he cleared his throat and looked away like the gentleman he is. You scrambled to get off the floor and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind you and sliding down to sit on the floor.

After about five minutes of wallowing, you slowly finished getting dressed. You spent the entire time psyching yourself up for the conversation you didn’t want to have. Finally, knowing you couldn’t stall any longer, you opened the door and stepped into the bedroom, avoiding any eye contact. You glanced up to see him watching you, his cheeks a little more flushed that usual, but otherwise deadpan. That somehow made it way worse, and before you knew it, you were rambling.

“I’m so sorry, you shouldn’t have had to walk into that. It was super unprofessional and I apologize. I forgot to grab my pajama bottoms and I was actually gonna ask you to grab them but then you weren’t there so I figured it was safe to run out and grab them. I mean, it was safe for a while, but then you came back, and you startled me. And then I was on the gross floor and I just…” You were panicking, not sure what to say or how to fix the awkward air that had somehow gotten even worse than usual. You hadn’t looked at Bucky once during your tirade, afraid to see his reaction, but suddenly, he was in front of you. You only realized this because his hands were on your shoulders.

“Hey, it’s okay. Calm down. I promise, you didn’t traumatize me, just startled me is all. I’m not upset with you or anything.” As your breathing came back under control, you looked up at him, skeptical that he really wasn’t upset with you. “I swear, it’s fine. I just left to grab food. It was my fault anyway for startling you.”

You realized that this was the most you had ever heard him talk. It was also the nicest he had ever been to you, and you were just, on the whole, very confused. “Why are you being so nice to me?” you asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

He almost looked offended.

“I’m nice to you,” he insisted. You raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him, forgetting to still be embarrassed about your stupidity. “Am I really not nice to you?” He actually seemed surprised.

“Are you not intentionally broody to me? How is a person just accidentally rude?” You weren’t sure if you believed that he didn’t realize he wasn’t Mr. Friendly, but he genuinely seemed confused, and this was the first real conversation you had had with him.

“I didn’t mean to be rude, I swear. I just don’t really do well with new people, I didn’t know I was just noticeably cold.” Did you somehow make Bucky Barnes as uncomfortable as he made you?

“How about we just start over?” He looked at you kind of funny, but you pushed on. “Hi, I’m Y/N. I’m an Avenger, with a specialty in hand to hand combat, and I’m painfully awkward. It’s nice to meet you.”

He looked somewhat exasperated at the thought of doing it, but he still said, “I’m Bucky Barnes, an Avenger with a specialty in guns and combat, I used to be incredibly charming, but I’ve apparently lost it all. Nice to meet you too.”

You giggled a little at him and, without thinking, said, “I don’t know if you’ve lost all of it.” You realized what you said after a split second and decided to keep talking and pretend you hadn’t said it at all. “Now that I’ve met you, can we pretend you didn’t see me fall on the floor without pants on?”

You didn’t like the smirk on his face as he said, “Oh, I don’t know about that, it’ll make such a good memory.” You blushed and rolled your eyes, deciding that you could pretend anyway. You walked around him to see what food he had gotten and were surprised to see he knew what you liked. Then again, you guys did technically live together and he was a super spy. You just shrugged and threw a “Thank you,” over your shoulder before digging in, famished after a day without food. You heard him mutter something and then tell you he was taking a shower.

It had definitely been a bit odd to learn that Bucky actually didn’t dislike you, but that didn’t mean you weren’t happy about it. As you continued to eat your food and think, a small smile graced your face.

--

Sleeping arrangements were a new topic of discomfort that you realized you would have to face. You decided sooner rather than later, so you sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Bucky to come out of the bathroom after his shower. You expected his shower to be fairly short and for him to come out looking just as fine as he went in, if a bit cleaner. While both of those expectations were met, what you did not expect was for him to walk out of the bathroom shirtless. He honestly seemed a little uncomfortable, but you had trouble understanding why. I mean, come on, the man was shaped liked something out of a wet dream and he had seen you without pants on. But, as you saw him try to hide his metal arm from you, you understood. You knew what insecurity felt like and gave him the privacy you would want if the scenarios were reversed. This was definitely different from your faux pas earlier. You looked back down at the phone you were messing with earlier and pretended not to notice how quickly he covered himself.

“You’re apparently not the only one who forgets things for a shower.” Since he was definitely covered up by that point, you glanced up at him, noticing the shy smile on his face. It was almost like he wanted to smirk but didn’t quite feel confident enough to do so. You just smiled back at him, wanting him to feel comfortable around you. Then, you remember your original plan to wait for him and try not to let the dread show on your face.

“So… uh, which side of the bed do you want?” You didn’t know how else to breach it than to just come out and ask him. Part of you doesn’t want to have to acknowledge the fact that you will be sharing a bed with the man who you just became decent acquaintances with. However, you’re both adults and the rational part of your brain knows that this shouldn’t be as hard as you’re making it out to be.

While you were crisising about the weirdness of it all, Bucky was shrugging. “Doesn’t matter to me, do you have a preference?” He looked at you openly, wanting you to answer honestly.

“Maybe the side furthest from the door? I don’t think I would be a good defense if anything should happen.” You also just knew that anytime you had seen him in a bed, Bucky preferred the most battle-ready position. You thought you saw a slightly relieved look pass over his face for a second, but you couldn’t be sure. You both simply nodded at each other and began to wind down.

Bucky turned on the TV to peruse the channels. You learned that Bucky and Steve were both trying to play catch-up on all of the missed years, and you understood why, so you didn’t do anything besides try to inform him on what was important to know. For instance, the choices on the crappy little motel television were pretty limited, but you made him stop on a Disney movie that was playing on the kids channel. Neither of you paid too much attention to it, both quickly realizing just how exhausted you were. You started dozing off, careful not to fall asleep on Bucky, not wanting to push any more boundaries for the day.

Finally, he shut off the TV and you turned off the lamp next to you, causing the room to be bathed in darkness. You both laid down, aware of how close you were in the bed and keeping the space between you as big as possible. You probably would have stayed awake for hours on a normal day, but you could barely keep your eyes open, so you just relaxed and let sleep take you under.

[fangirlxwritesx67]

Ready For Anything (Sam x nurse)

AN: I got a very specific request here and had a lot of fun working with the requester to make sure they got what they wanted. 

Tags: 18+, smut, sex, light BDSM (handcuffs, orgasm denial, good girl/yes sir, safe word, discussion of choking), hookup, fingering, penetrative sex, condom, consent. Also mixing drugs and alcohol. 

"Dean, we have to go to the hospital!" Sam was insistent. "Stitches, I can do. Dislocated shoulder, no problem. But your wrist is broken and that needs medical help. We need you to get healed up so we can be ready for anything." Dean rolled his eyes and took another generous slug of whiskey. "Blah blah blah hospital, Sammy," he said. Eventually, Sam's level-headed insistence won the day. Dean reluctantly turned over the keys to the Impala and Sam followed the blue highway hospital signs.

It was a slow afternoon at the emergency room, and the Winchesters did not have to wait long before Dean was in his own room, Sam by his side. A petite nurse walked in and greeted them. "Mr. Winchester and... Winchester?" "Oh," said Sam, "Yeah, we're brothers!" The nurse nodded, clearly not caring. Her blue scrubs should've been generic but they hugged every curve of her perfect body. Her ash blonde hair, streaked with golden highlights, was gathered in a messy bun. Loose wisps trailed down over her pretty face. She ran through the basic intake questions in a cheery, professional manner before hooking Dean up to a couple of different machines and administering a dose of pain medication. "The doctor will be in shortly," she told them. But the doctor really wasn't. And either Dean had more whiskey than Sam had thought, or he got a higher dose of pain meds, because soon he was a little loopy. "Did you see that cute nurse?" He asked Sam. "She was totally checking you out. I'll bet you could tap that ass if you wanted. You've always liked blondes, Sammy." "Sure, Dean," answered Sam. "That's why I brought you here. So I could hook up with a nurse." Just then the nurse stepped back in. Sam startled. How much had she heard? Dean just smiled, a bleary smile. "My little brother thinks you're cute," he told her in a loud attempt at a whisper. She looked back at Sam with a mischievous glance. "It's okay," she told Dean, not pretending to be quiet. "I think he's cute too. Now be good and wait for the doctor." She walked out of the room without a backward glance, although Sam could swear there was an extra sway in her hips.

In a little while, someone came to wheel Dean away for x-rays. Sam took advantage of the moment to slip away for some coffee. He followed the signs to the hospital cafeteria. After he paid for his drink, he heard a voice behind him say, "Hey, Winchester." Sam spun around to see the nurse from the ER. "Hey," he answered, with a disarming chuckle. "I'm sorry if you heard what my brother said earlier. You must've given him the good stuff." The nurse shook her head. "I heard, and I don't mind. Besides, what I said was true. I think you're cute. So if you do want to hook up with a nurse, I'm game." She flashed Sam a cute smile with just a hint of seduction in her wide brown eyes. She let her gaze trail over his body, over his broad shoulders and fit arms, down to his waist. The nurse's eyes widened when they fell on his belt. At first Sam thought she was just really thirsty, until she looped a finger through something. "Handcuffs?" She asked. "Why are you carrying handcuffs? I thought you said you and your brother were hunting." A warm flush ran over Sam's high cheekbones. "Well, I did tell you that," he stammered. "We're actually private detectives. I just don't usually mention that." The nurse smirked, "A man of mystery, huh? Well, I like that you come prepared-" her voice dropped- "for anything." A page blared overhead. She cursed and hurried out.

Sam waited in the ER for a little while before Dean came back, his wrist encased in a dark blue cast. The two brothers waited to be discharged. Finally, the same cute nurse from before came back. "Hey," she asked Dean, "Are you ready to go home?" Dean barked out a short laugh. "Home?! You mean the crummy motel on the edge of town." The nurse looked between the brothers. Sam shrugged. "We travel a lot for work," he told her. "But this is a new town for us. Could you recommend a decent takeout place? I haven't eaten all day, since I've been in here taking care of this guy." She cocked her head and a warm smile spread across her face. "Do you want a recommendation or do you want company?" Sam smiled back, his hazel eyes bright. "I wouldn't complain about company," he said after a moment. The nurse gave Sam her cell phone number and told him to text her about dinner.

Dusk was falling when a knock sounded on the hotel room door. Sam answered it to find the nurse standing there with a box of pizza, a salad balanced on top. He stepped aside to let her in. She had changed into yoga pants and a long sleeve t-shirt that did a much better job of showing off her perfect curvy figure. She had also let her hair down, and it fell in blonde waves around her pretty face. Sam took the food from her, their fingers lingering when they brushed together. He set the food on the desk while she looked around. "Where is the patient?" She asked jokingly. "Oh, he took another pain pill with whiskey and passed out in the other room." Sam gestured to the door between rooms which was partly open. "He won't hear a thing." The cheap motel room didn't have much furniture. Sam grabbed pizza and salad, and sat on the end of the bed, folding his long legs comfortably. The nurse got food too and settled against the headboard. While they ate, two of them chatted easily, laughing and swapping stories of their lives. As they emptied their plates, their voices slowed. Sam found himself staring at the nurse's face, watching her full mouth move when she talked. He reached out one hand and cupped her soft cheek, pushing her hair back from her face. "Hey," his voice was low. "I'd really like to kiss you now." She lifted her bright eyes to him. This close, he could see that they were brown with little flecks of green. She nodded. "I'd really like that too." Sam lowered his lips to hers. Their first kiss was gentle, curious as they sought each other out. She sighed happily and leaned into him, deepening the kiss. Her hands slid up the back of his neck and tangled in his shaggy dark hair. Sam slipped his hands into her shirt and around her waist, pausing to murmur, "Is this okay?" She nodded and kissed him harder while his hands roamed her body. Sam slipped his tongue between her lips, tasting her. She opened her mouth to let him in. Her slim fingers worked their way down his shirt, tracing his warm skin as she undid the buttons. When her hands reached his belt, one wandered over to the handcuffs she knew he had. Sam felt her grasp and knew what she was going for. He grabbed her wrist and pulled back to look her full in the face.

"Please," said the nurse, tossing him a sassy look. Her sweet lips were puffy from kissing and she pouted just a little, teasingly. "Wait," asked Sam. "Have you done this before?" She nodded. "Do you have a safe word?" She shook her head. Sam undid the cuffs from his belt and dangled then enticingly in front of her. "Listen," his voice was deadly serious. "You've probably done something before with a boy and some sexy trick handcuffs. This is going to be different. These are real handcuffs, and if I put them on you, I'm not taking them off until I'm finished with you." She shivered with anticipation. "If you want to do this, we are going to do this right. You need to tell me a safe word and we need to talk about it." So they talked. The nurse told Sam what she wanted, what she didn't want, and together they came up with a safe word. Then Sam said, "Is there anything else you want me to know?" Even after everything they had just talked about, she was hesitant mention it, but she knew this was her chance. "Do you think you could... choke me?" Sam's eyes widened and he drew in a long breath before shaking his head. "No, I'm sorry. I'm sure that might be fun, but no. I don't know you well enough. I don't know your breathing, I don't know what you sound like during sex- there are too many ways it could go wrong."

The nurse could've been disappointed but instead she felt excited- more confident that Sam knew what he was doing, and secure that he would take good care of her. She leapt into his arms and he held her close, kissing her hard. Without letting go of her at all, Sam stripped off her clothes. His hands were hot all over her body. He laid her back against the pillows and pulled her arms up gently towards the headboard. Sam paused before fastening one of her wrists in his handcuffs. "Are you sure about this?" She nodded. "Because once we start," his voice dropped to a growl, "you're mine, you obey, and you don't come until I say." Sam clicked the other cuff shut. She shuddered, hard, as desire shot through her, and whispered, "Yes." "Yes?" He snarled. "Yes, sir?" A wicked grin spread across Sam's face and he nodded. "Good girl," he said, before he leaned down and kissed her.

Sam let his hands wander as he covered her mouth and face and neck with kisses. He found her soft full breasts and fondled them eagerly. He perfectly matched the movements of his mouth and his touch- sucking on her lips while he kneaded her breast, or running his teeth along her jawline while he flicked her nipple. Under his expert attention, she was soon breathing quickly. Sam slipped his hand still lower, between her legs. She was soaking wet and ready. "Needy, aren't you, girl?" He asked. She nodded once. "For you, sir, all for you," she managed to gasp. Sam loved that answer, loved how eager and willing she was. He pushed his fingers in closer and began to finger her with quick, steady strokes. She moaned under his touch. Soon her breath was coming in short, hard pants. Her body was growing tense and her arms were pulling against the handcuffs. Sam stopped and eased his hand away. She tried to reach for him but couldn't. "What did I tell you?" She shook her head wordlessly. "Did I tell you that you could come?" "No, no sir." she moaned breathlessly. "That's right," he commanded. "Now be a good girl, and do what I say."

Sam slipped his hand up against her again and went to work with his fingers. He watched her squirm under his touch, watched her stomach quiver, watched her knees begin to shake. He moved slowly, relentlessly against her sweet spot with his thumb while quickly slipping two long fingers up inside of her. She gritted her teeth to stifle a groan. She shook her head, tossing tangled blonde waves over the pillow. Sam could keep her like this, watch her like this, all night. Finally she drew a shuddering breath. "Please, sir, please!" She cried. "Yes," answered Sam. He could see that she wouldn't be able to last much longer. "Yes, come for me now." She obeyed willingly, gratefully, giving in to pleasure. Her entire body shook as her orgasm rolled out from between her legs, up to her shoulders and down to her knees. She was gasping, choking, helpless. "Breathe," Sam reminded her as kept his hand going in and on her. He had taken her breath away after all. "Good girl. Breathe." Finally, she relaxed against the bed, wrung out and pleased.

Sam was tense with anticipation and need. Without saying anything, he got up and walked to the bathroom for a condom (one of the things they had agreed on.) The nurse got a wonderful view as he walked away- his broad shoulders and strong back, his trim waist and delightfully round butt. She got an even better view when he walked back- his toned body, yes. But also his throbbing hard-on, ready for her; and his gorgeous face, bright with desire. Sam pushed the nurse back up on the bed just a little, making sure she was resting against the pillows again to take some of the strain off her arms. Then he spread her thighs apart with his hands and knelt between them. He looked at her, so beautiful and needy, already soft from pleasure, and his for the taking. He ran one hand up over the soft skin of her thigh to cup her ass. "Please," she begged, her voice both sweet and hot. "Please sir. Fuck me." Sam chuckled and that wicked smile curled his lips. "Oh yes," he answered. "I'd love to fuck you. But remember- you're still obeying me." "Yes," she nodded. "Yes, sir." Sam waited just a moment, waited for her to raise her hips, waited for her breathing to speed up in anticipation. Then he met her desire with his own and buried himself inside her. She gasped and then moaned as he thrust deeper and deeper. She rocked her hips in time with his, finding a rhythm between their bodies. "Good girl," Sam murmured in her ear before kissing her lips and then down her neck and across her shoulder. He grazed the skin of her collarbone with his teeth. She shuddered, a movement he felt through his whole body. Sam wanted her so much. Her blatant neediness was inviting to him in a way he couldn't describe. He wanted to disappear inside her and consume her at the same time. He bit her just a little, where her neck curved into her shoulder. Her mouth dropped open to scream but the only sound she made was a wild deep gasp. She pressed her body hard against his. Sam was almost lost in his own pleasure but he didn't forget her. He could hear her breath, quick and ragged next to his ear. "Come for me," he commanded. "Be a good girl and come for me." He felt her quiver underneath him and let himself go too. They tumbled together in the raging current of their release. As Sam throbbed inside of her, he pressed his lips over hers and she moaned against his mouth.

Finally when they were both spent, Sam rolled off of her. He reached for the night stand and something the nurse had missed before- the key to the handcuffs. He undid the cuffs and ran his big hands over her arms, soothing the tired muscles. She leaned into him, seeking the warmth of her embrace. He held her close, wrapping her in his long arms. Eventually, she tilted her face up and opened her eyes. He met her gaze with naked satisfaction. "What a good girl you are." Sam murmured with a smile. "Thank you, sir." She whispered. "You are one kinky little nurse." He told her with a kiss. "Ready for anything, hmm, Winchester?" she hummed, her voice warm and soft. Sam answered her quickly. "As long as it's you."

Taglist: @tloveswriting @marril96 @awesomesusiebstuff @idreamofplaid

[sabine-leo]

PART 3 

Author: @sabine-leo

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston / Reader - with Benedict Cumberbatch and Bobby

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Mysterious encounter, 

Wordcount: 2492

Part: 3 / ? (aprox 4) LINK TO PART 1 , LINK TO PART 2

Summary: A mysterious masquerade ball calls for a enthralling encounter with a handsome stranger.

Note: He did not lose his shoe... or did he?

This chapter has text messages. > for incomming < for outgoing

The next evening you still felt like it had all been a dream. Sadly, and to Emma´s and your despair he did not lose his shoe on the way out. No, he was gone and the only thing reminding you of him was your mind. You had not bothered do dress properly today. You had nowhere to be and your books and your sofa didn´t require you to dress up. So, as the doorbell rang you went to open your door in just your yoga pants and the wide shirt you were wearing. A big box of Ice-cream was shoved in your face and a blond head popped up next to it.  “Thought this was as good as any chance to get our Ice-cream overdose…” Emma smiled and walked into the kitchen.

 Chuckling you followed and leaned against the counter. “You think this is an Ice-cream worthy occasion?!” Emma nodded. “Absolutely!” She picked two spoons out of the drawer and was headed to the sofa. “I mean, have you seen yourself with that man yesterday? I almost fainted watching the two of you dance and flirt!” She flung herself onto your sofa and opened the Ice-cream.

“Even through the masks you could see the sparks flying out of his and your eyes!” Stopping short on your way to Emma you looked at her. “No, I have NOT seen him and me together…” Turning on your heal you went into the bedroom. “Where are you going? The Ice cream is here..” Emma called irritated.

 2 minutes later you came back with the recipe in your hand. Emma raised her eyebrow and the spoon full of ice-cream stuck in her mouth. “Whaffat?”  

Taking your laptop, you went to sit next to her and said. “We went into the photobooth together. This is the link and the password to access the pictures. He got one and I got one…”

Emma took the spoon out of her mouth with a plop. “You have PICTURES?”

You nodded and smiled. Emma giggled. “Oh dear! You can hide them as your little secret and one day tell your grandkids about the handsome stranger you met for ONE NIGHT ONLY!”

Rolling your eyes at Emma’s phantasies you typed in the information and waited as the page was loading.

 Not that far away Tom threw his keys onto the table and took a deep breath. He had been out for the most of the day but his mind was on something else as work entirely. His hand went into his pocket and searched for the piece of paper. He had not been able to let go of it. Even knowing that he had his rules for a reason, he could not shake the feeling that he had made a mistake yesterday night. Putting the physical attraction aside he had liked your wit and the few things you had talked about between dancing and taking those pictures. Now he stood in the middle of his livingroom staring at a piece of paper that would give him access to pictures of you and him together. Tom sighed.

“Maybe it was just the venue and the thrill of the night?” He tried to talk himself out of his misery.

A tad frustrated he banged the paper down onto the table next to his laptop and went to take a shower.

 “OH MY GOD!” Emma squealed as the pictures showed up on screen one after another.

“Look (Y/N). LOOK!! You two look SO good together!” The first pictures with the both of you goofing off appeared and Emma and you started to laugh. They were pretty hilarious. You could only guess what hysterical faces the both of you could pull off without the masks on. And a guess it would stay…

“ooohhh my heart!” Emma sighed as she saw the picture where you looked deep into each-other’s eyes and then she mocked a faint as the picture of the kiss came up. You on the other hand took a spoon of Ice and said “Kill me now!” before you fell back and stuffed your face.

Emma smiled a little sad on your behalf and saved the pictures and hit the print button.

 Coming out of the shower - which did not help with his mood at all -  in just his sweatpants, Tom sat down and opened up his laptop. He might as well look at the pictures and see if they were as good as his mind tried to make him believe. He filled in the needed things and waited. The first picture appeared and the frown that had been a constant on his face today lifted. A little smile tugged up his lips and a full out laugh escaped him as the funny pictures came up next. Tom could not help himself. He zoomed in on the kiss picture and saw how real it looked. His hand keeping you close. Your hand on his chest. He looked through all pictures again…The body language spoke a million words to him as a trained and accomplished actor. You could not force a connection like that. Tom groaned and let his head fall back. “I am such an idiot!” He saved the pictures and hit the print button as well.

 The both of you had accessed the pictures. The both of you had saved and printed them. On both of your laptops opened up a box with a little DING noise. Tom frowned and took a closer look.

Emma saw it first and began to smile while constantly hitting your arm and yelling.

“HE LOST HIS SHOE!”

                The pictures where accessed from both sides.

If you have not exchanged contact-information’s already you can do so now.

The information will only go out if BOTH sides put them in.

Fill in here à Email: ____________________ 

and/or Phone:_____________________

              Thank you for joining the fun of the Moonlight Masquerade!

 Reading the text for the third time you looked at Emma and laughed. “He did not lose his shoe until I lose mine too!” Emma looked stern. “Oh, sweetheart! You ARE losing your shoe! If you don´t lose it I will pry it off of you and throw it at him!” You could not help it and started to giggle at Emma’s stern look. “But Em…What if he doesn´t want to lose his shoe?”

Emma shrugged “Then he probably turned into a pumpkin head and is not worth your shoe!”

Emma got up and said “You put in your shoe…number, geez this is Cinderella 2019” She laughed and added. “Just with a little more mystery and believe me, the dance was most definitely not PG13!”

Taking in a deep breath that left you in a laugh as she made her comment you stared at the open box for a moment. What did you have to lose?

 Tom stood up and paced his livingroom. A hand went through his hair and made it stand up funny. His ringing phone made him jump. “Yes?!” He said a bit tart. “Helloooo sunshine! Open up your door! Haven´t you heard me ringing your bell 3 times now?” Tom looked to the door and frowned.

“No…no I did not hear it, sorry. Just a second Ben!” Tom hung up and grabbed a Shirt before he opened up to let Benedict inside. “Don´t you look like happy ray of sunshine today?” Ben said and flung the script they both wanted to read together into his arms. Tom closed the door behind Ben and went back into the livingroom. “Sorry, my mind is a bit occupied…” Tom said and Ben tilted his head. “Care to elaborate?”

 Tom slumped down on the chair and just held out the pictures he had printed. Ben took the pile with a frown and started to look through them. “Oh.. so you went to the Masquerade.” He grinned and turned the picture of the kiss to Tom. “Wild guess, THAT´s on your mind!”

Tom chuckled and nodded. “Kind of….more like THAT.” He turned his laptop and pointed at the box.

Ben read it and sat down too. “I don´t understand…”

Tom sighed and gave him a run down of the night. Ben listened but started to laugh at the end.

“Thomas William Hiddleston. You are one dumb fellow.” Tom rolled his eyes. “I know, but my rules..”

Ben interrupted him. “Rules…Yes, I know we need them. But honestly, if you don´t get to bend them when something like THIS happens, they aren´t helpful at all!”

Tom rubbed his face. “Maybe it is just my mind bloating the night up. Maybe it wasn´t THAT good a match.” Ben looked at his friend. “You can only find out if you put in your number and meet her again. And before you start. Yes, it is a risk because of who you are. But maybe it was THAT good and maybe it is worth the risk to expose yourself just this once.”

Tom stared at the box and then at the pictures. “But what if she does not want to…”

Ben smiled and pushed the laptop to Tom. “Only one way to find out!”

Tom nodded and smiled at Ben.

 For the next hour (after the both of you had hit send) Tom went through the script with Ben and Emma had gotten you to watch a Horror film. Mentioning that all that fluff and swooning over the pictures would literally give you cavities. You just pointed at the Ice-cream with a raised eyebrow “You swooned and brought the Ice-cream!”

“All the more reason why I get to choose a movie!” She said and darkened the room.

The DING that went off and the screen on your laptop coming alive made the both of you shriek. Then you started to giggle at your own reaction and went to see who had sent a message.

“Oh god!” you said and started to smile… “He did lose his shoe…” “WHAT?” Emma jumped up.

 “Oh!” Tom looked up to Ben and smiled. “So… she does want to…” Ben winked and clapped Toms shoulder. “You got her number. Don´t be a fool and use it!”

Tom laughed. “That sounded like a threat my friend!”

Grinning, Ben nodded and said. “Maybe you aren´t such a dumb fellow after all!”

They both laughed and Tom programmed your number into his phone.

“I will use it, but I have to think about what to write first…”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Spontaneous as ever…”

“Heey!” Tom sounded offended. Ben looked him dead in the eyes.

“Think about it, Tom. Did you overthink everything you did yesterday night or did you just act out of instinct? Sometimes you just have to trust your gut. It´s as simple as that and it´s as complicated as that.” Tom sighed but nodded. “You are right, I did not overthink yesterday…and it was the best night out I had in years.” Ben smiled at him. “Then trust your gut. Every time I saw you glancing at the pictures you smiled. Maybe it was just a combination of things that made you hit it of with her. But maybe it was something else entirely.”

 Later, as Tom lay in his bed, he updated your profile with a picture from last night. Ben´s words resonated through his head and he opened up the text window. He typed and erased it 2 times before he huffed frustrated and got out of bed to open the window. He stared at his phone and grabbed it, typing fast and hitting send so that he had no time to overthink.

 > Hello Darling, oh right…you told me your name so that I don´t have to start calling you Darling. But what if I want to (Y/N)? I am glad you accessed the pictures and entered your number. Last night was remarkable…Maybe you would like to text and get to know each other a little better? Or…Have Dinner with me and do it in person?

Thomas

 There, he had done it. Tom threw his phone into the pillows and went into the kitchen. Bobby, who had been back from Toms Mum as Ben had left, looked up as he passed his dog-bed. “Go to sleep buddy, I just need some ice-water.” Bobby snuffled and rested his head again.

 Also in bed, but reading a book you heard your phone buzz and rolled your eyes. That probably was Emma again for the 4th time after leaving with a snarky remark or telling you of a new parallel she found to Cinderella. You took your phone and it almost did fall onto your face as you saw the picture and the name of the sender. You read his message and laughed a little at his starting line, then you smiled and bit your lip. He wanted to meet you again. Get to know you a little better. After 3 erased starts you wrote back.

 < Hello Thomas, I am glad too! The pictures you took from us are great. I hope you got your friend home safely. Yes, I´d love to get to know you a little better. Last night really was astounding. Dinner sounds lovely. And I don´t mind if you call me Darling 😉 But let´s see if you still want it after Dinner…

 Tom had made it back into bed and just finished texting Ben that he would say yes to the script as his phone went of in his hands, signalling another text. The picture that popped up made him smile instantly and that smile only got bigger as he read the response you had sent him.

 >  Alright, DARLING. Meet me on Friday at 8pm at Odette´s -- 130 Regent's Park Road ?!

 <     Friday at 8 it is!

 >  Do I have to wear my mask?

<     Please don´t. Getting to know each other better might be easier without one. Although it has been fun.

 >  It was but you are probably right… can´t wait to see your - without a doubt- beautiful face! Sleep well Darling!

 <     See you on Friday!! Sleep well Thomas!

 Tom smiled at his phone and did something he normally would not do, but this was different.

“Odette´s how can I help you?”

“Hello, this is Tom Hiddleston. I´d like to book your secret garden for Friday from 8pm…”

“A table Sir?”

“No, the complete garden venue with a table for 2 please…”

“Uhm, You might need to come in for such an exclusive booking.”

“Alright, see you in 20 minutes!”

 Tom got up and dressed. He had his rules but if he bend them and meet you somewhere public he could make sure it was JUST the two of you without unwanted interruptions. That way you felt safe meeting him in a public place and he felt safe enough to be himself.  

“Hey buddy…want to go for a night walk?” He looked at Bobby who wiggled his tail directly and went to retrieve his leash.

Tags: @lokilover-39 @archy3001 @amazinggraces-world @tanishahka @coniumalces @drakesfiance @confessionsofastrugglingteen @inlovewithfreyamikaelson @heart-shaped-hell @theoneanna @marikochi @xxxeatyourh3artoutxxx @awkwardfangirl2014 @rainbowsinthestorm @anchored-in-high-tide

[nevergiveupneverrun]

Bodyguard - Chapter Thirty-five “The smile that lights up...”

Hello, I hope you’re all doing great. Here is chapter thirty-five of my story Bodyguard. I’m so sorry for the long absence, I had a lot of things to do, but now, it’s summer break so I will have more free time to translate. I’m sorry by advance for the mistakes… English isn’t my first language and I do my best. Here is the link of the previous chapter because it’s been a long time since the last update: Click Here.

I hope you will enjoy this chapter :) 💛

                                      –––––––––––––––––––––––

- Ok, we find ourselves at the entrance to the market… - Do you think you’ll arrive soon? Asks Rosie in the handset. - I’m waiting for Amelia, and we’re leaving immediately after, so in about twenty minutes. I have to leave you, sorry, see you later. I quickly hand up the handset of the house, after my last words. I preferred to avoid conversations from the direct line of the chalet: even though I knew that the probability that the crazy man is locating us in almost non-existent, I preferred to take no risks… and calling from a phone booth was a much safer option. But I could not really explain it to Rosie, it would expose her to one of the reasons for our presence and endanger her indirectly.

.

I put on my leather jacket while scanning the house quickly. Our arrival a bit hasty had almost put aside the place so special that I found. Memories, images were inseparable from this small nook of Canada, anchored in the mountains. My eyes are then on the single photo frame of the room, present in a shelf installed in the living room. A photograph that crystalizes my past and the man I am… I take advantage of the absence of Amelia and I quickly get rid of this photo frame. I hesitate a few seconds then I join the kitchen and put it in the drawer that was not used, left empty until then on the buffet. I immediately return to the living room while I perceive steps resound on the stairs. And it’s a white apparition that runs down the steps. I need to blink several times to convince myself that this is not a mirage or a hallucination caused by the fatigue of the last days. But at the end of the third blink of successive eyes, the image becomes more precise and confirmed under my eyes… a special white lace dress that I had not seen for many years. Who dresses perfectly… Amelia, detached and slightly curly hair, falling along her shoulders. A silhouette, a dress that troubled me at first: Rosie’s words instantly return to my mind, the resemblance even more striking and disturbing when I see her dressed in one of my mother’s favorite dresses… I look at her and discover that she ha also put on white wedge sandals: an impeccably matched look that makes me realize that fashion is only an eternal restart… the 70s can mingle without false notes in the 21st century. - Excuse me… I took a little longer than expected… I always observe her without a word, captivated by her image: she was simply beautiful. She perceives my insistent gaze and scans herself, placing her attention on this dress. - Uh... I… I might not have had to… but I don’t have much to wear… almost nothing at all and I took a look in the wardrobe in the room and discovered a series of clothes… I spotted very pretty summer dresses, I tried this one… and as she is at my size… but I can change, it’s probably a bad idea, I don’t even know who it belongs to… She turns around as I recognize her lack of self-confidence strengthen over her words. I hold her by sliding my hand against her arm. - Don’t change yourself… it suits you very well… and if these clothes can be useful… - But the owner might not agree? - She would approve, I reassure you… I feel her indecisive, not really satisfied with my answer but I don’t develop more. I seize her leather jacket and my scarf on a nearby chair and hand her. - Can we go? She nods while putting the jacket and scarf, still a little troubled by my mysterious answer but doesn’t ask any other questions. - Your hand is better? I asked while recovering my wallet as I slip it into a pocket of my jacket. - Yes, I changed band-aid, but it’s already almost healed, by tomorrow there will be nothing left. I smiled weakly and grabbed the keys of the motorbike while heading to the crash-helmets placed on the living room table. - Are crash-helmets really necessary? Asks me suddenly Amelia. - It’s more careful… and it’s mandatory… - But if you don’t go fast… you drive carefully… it’s just that it’s so beautiful outside… I wish I could feel the breath of the wind freely on my and the heat of the sun on my face… I hesitate in front of her request. We did not have to hide here, we were several hundred miles from Seattle, in a secluded part of the mountain. And concerning the Driver’s Manual, we could get rid of it, the feeling of freedom is more important than the respect of the rule. Especially considering our context. - Ok, we can do without, but promise me that you will be careful on the motorbike, no clumsiness because, without a crash-helmet, a shock or a fall can be serious… She nods, smiling weakly at me. - Ok, so let’s go! I wave her to the entrance and locked behind her. The sun is sparkling and reinforces the beauty of the landscape: the edge of the forest a few steps from the chalet, the golden wood of this house that stands out by capturing the rays of the sun and a look back reveals me the reflections of this little emerald lake that springs against the chalet.

.

Amelia is waiting for me next to the motorbike while watching intensely the landscape that surrounds us. Unlike our arrival the day before, I am reassured by noticing some lights dancing in her pupils, but she doesn’t make any comments. I get on the motorbike and slip the keys in the ignition. I feel a hand rest on my left shoulder while a slight breath makes me perceive the movement of Amelia in my back to settle behind me. Reflexively, I put my hand on her thigh behind me, but I forgot she was in dress… the position imposed by the motorbike has noticeably raised it and it is her skin that I feel under my fingers. - Hold you well… I detached my fingers quickly, this contact was unforeseen and I didn’t want to embarrass her… or increase my trouble. I feel her arms encircle me and her hands rest firmly on me. - I don’t clutch you too hard? - No, it’s okay… are you ready? - Yes, let’s go… I feel a hint of enthusiasm in her voice that makes me happy: a small foray into this joie de vivre that seems to be slowly returning. It only remained for me to relight gradually. I start the motorbike and we start at a moderate pace. We travel for several meters the path that crisscrosses the forest and that leads up to quickly lose several meters of altitude. We thus find the clearing and the tranquility of a mountain road. I remain attentive to Amelia’s contact with me: the pressure of her hands, the sensation of her body just behind me, focused on my handling of the motorbike to avoid any risk of accident or fall. I fork after a few minutes following the direction of a sign to the village we were going to join. We thus finish by distinguishing contours of residences then quickly a panel of entry of the village. I reduce a little more pace while in a few seconds, we reach the center of the village where I park the motorbike on small parking.

.

I let Amelia go down first while she leans on my shoulder. I leave my motorbike and then take a look at the place a few steps from us, where I spot traders’ stalls, so specific to market day. I scrutinize the scene a bit more and recognize Rosie, settling a greengrocer. - Rosie is here, we join her? Amelia nods and I slide my hand behind her to guide her. We are getting closer to the market activity and I meet Rosie who is smiling at me instantly and comes to meet us. - Hello Owen, she said, making me two kisses. She then turns to Amelia and I notice she stops a few seconds discovering her. - This dress fits you wonderfully Amelia, she whispers kissing her in turn. Owen, you were right to offer her your mother’s dresses, they have the same silhouette… Amelia finds my eyes and I detect the surprise in her eyes, Rosie has revealed the identity of the owner of these clothes. - Good, kids, I started doing some food shopping. Amelia, there is very nice clothes stand with little dresses that should please you, we should go! Owen, there are also shirts for you, but I think you have what you need in the chalet. - Yes, it should be fine… - Ok, so let’s go there! Amelia peers me a few more moments, intrigued by the information that Rosie just gave her, then she follows my long-time accomplice. I walk alongside Amelia and we walk along with several stalls until she stops in front of a florist. Rosie turns around, perceiving our stop and observes Amelia leaning towards a bouquet of flowers. - Henry has the most beautiful flowers in the area, says Rosie smiling at the stallholder on the side, cutting stems of roses. - These peonies are beautiful, I’ve never seen with such a bright pink… she says in front of a bouquet of pink and white peonies. - He has his secrets, our Henry. - A bouquet would make you happy, miss? The stallholder suddenly asks Amelia. I scrutinize her while she observes the flowers with a spark in her eyes and in particular a bouquet on which her eyes come to linger: a bouquet of white and purple peonies with roses, roses associated with an original touch that give some flowers of sunflowers. She remains silent for a few seconds while looking at this bouquet then raises the head towards the florist.

- No, thanks sir, she finally answers. But you have very beautiful flowers.

- Thank you, Miss, have a good day.

Amelia smiles at him before moving forward to continue our progression in the small market.

Rosie passes us again and we stop only two stalls farther, at the outer shop of a merchant of clothes.

- Jenny, here is the young woman I told you about.

A woman in her forties appears on the side and comes to meet us.

-Good morning Miss. I thought I heard that you needed clothes.

- Uh… yes, indeed, answers shyly Amelia.

- Rosie put me in the secret, resumes Jenny smiling. And I put aside several outfits to try, if you want, I can show you.

Amelia turns to me furtively and I encourage her with a smile.

- I really like your dress, by the way, style 70s that are all the rage right now. I think I just aimed in my choices. So, first of all, you have these two summer dresses.

Jenny presents to Amelia a long dress that looks like the one she had in Campeche and a shorter dress, light blue with straps.

- I also have jeans if you want, pants or capri pants and a whole series of T-shirts and light sweaters for this time of year. What do you say about it?

- It’s… very pretty…says Amelia staring at the outfits successively held by Jenny.

- Maybe it’s best to try them, right? You have a small space behind the curtain to change.

Amelia looks at me again, hesitant.

- Go, try it. Take your time.

I smiled at her and she finally walked away with Jenny to take a close look at the outfits and visibly choose the ones she would try.

Rosie is repositioning herself beside me by watching her.

- She is really beautiful…

- What? - Stop Owen, I see that you stare at her blankly. You are as transparent as your father was with your mother. I’m happy for you by the way…

- Rosie, it’s just a friend, do not start to imagine things that don’t exist.

I then notice Amelia’s gaze heading in my direction a few moments before she goes back to Jenny and disappears behind the fitting room.

- Things I imagine, huh?

Rosie asks with a crooked smile on her lips.

I don’t reply to her innuendo, it could last hours with Rosie if I fed her doubts.

- Thank you for preparing the house before we arrived… it was perfect.

- It’s okay. I see in any case that Amelia seems to be better than yesterday, less closed, more relaxed. - Yes, it takes time, but she takes over little by little. - All the better. There is nothing harder to bear than to see such a beautiful young woman sad and withdrawn.

The sound of a curtain we discover is heard and Amelia appears to us again dressed in the long dress that Jenny had shown her previously.

A long pink dress that brings out the blue of her eyes.

- So, what’s your opinion?

She asks us shyly looking at us.

- My opinion doesn’t count, I think. The opinion of a man is always the most important, replies Rosie.

I cross her eyes and I discover a touch of mischief that does not surprise me in the least.

I redirect my attention to Amelia while swallowing and preparing my answer.

- It suits you…

- Just that? You’re not going to convince her with that, Owen! Rosie launches by my side smiling.

She wanted to lead me hard and she took pleasure in the situation.

I keep my eyes fixed on Amelia who looks down, a little disconcerted visibly by my answer. I had to express my opinion clearly… not really the fields that I master best, or that I do it most easily, but I would have to force myself for the days to come.

- No, I mean… she fits you perfectly… you are… you are gorgeous…

Her eyes suddenly appear to me as her head is raised.

And one more detail captivates my attention: a smile emerges on her lips, spontaneous and candid smile, the first in a long time and I react in the same way in return.

- Well, I think this outfit is approved… more than approved, by the way, Rosie concludes.

I quickly drop my eyes while feeling the warmth on my cheeks when I see the insistent look of Rosie on me.

I hear the curtain close and Jenny slips a new outfit to Amelia.

- You must be sincere with her as you just did… did you see her smile? At this moment, she forgot the drama she has just lived and all thanks to you, do not forget that…

I nod as she picks her basket of hands.

-Well, I’m not very useful here anymore. I’m going to finish shopping and I’ll bring them home. With the clothes, you will not really have a place to bring back everything.

- Thank you, Rosie, actually, it’s going to be complicated with the motorbike. - No problem. Are they any particular things that I have to buy maybe?

I dig in my jean pocket and give her some shopping that I took care to scribble on a paper.

- If you can buy me what is on this list…

Rosie browses the words of the eyes while smiling lightly after finishing.

- Ok, I should be able to find all that. See you later. - Thanks, again.

She disappears after one last smile and I find myself alone waiting patiently for the end of the fitting session. Amelia will try five additional outfits, some for which I will not see her out and others for which she will ask me again my opinion.

An opinion that was summed up systematically to approval on my part, because everything suited her… everything suits well to her.

.

After about an hour, she reappears in the white lace dress she had donned for the day. Jenny then hands her two packets of hands and I go forward immediately to seize it. I notice, however, that Amelia is concentrated on a pile of clothes that I don’t distinguish precisely on the side. - Is it you who pay, sir? - Yes, it’s me. - Owen… Amelia whispers protesting. - No discussion… Jenny smiles slightly in front of our exchange as I present my credit card. Amelia is repositioning herself by my side and waiting patiently for me to finish before giving something to Jenny… a dark blue shirt. - Do you want to add that? Because we just paid for your purchases Miss? - No, that’s apart… it’s XL, it'll have to suit you, or you want to try it? She asks me looking at me. - Amelia… it makes me happy, don’t feel obliged to… - You lost a lot of things too… and I’m sure you don’t have your famous shirt of that color anymore. You told me you only had one. - Yes, but… - So I offer it to you, it was the one I preferred and it is almost identical… so XL it will be fine? - Yes, it should be fine�� She gives her credit card in turn to Jenny then slips the shirt into one of the packages. - Thank you very much, have a good day! Jenny launches us as we walk out of her outdoor shop. I’m watching Amelia as we walk down the aisles of the small market, still surprised by her attention. - You want to see something else? I finish by asking after a few steps. - No, I think we went around. I notice a telephone booth, installed in a corner of the place. - I will make a phone call. The motorbike is a few steps away, I let you join it, okay? And most importantly, stay next I don’t lose your eyes. - Fine. Give me a package, you will be less loaded. I’m actually handing her a package and staring at her as she walks away a few meters to stand near the motorbike while I enter in the telephone booth. I compose a number that I know by heart, before hearing a familiar voice while keeping my attention on Amelia. - Jackson? - Hi Owen… it feels good to hear from you. - Yes, you too, your line is always safe? - Don’t worry, I have the same devices as our old headquarters on my line so nobody can listen to us or filter the calls. Good, tell me, everything is fine? - Yes. We arrived safely yesterday… and Amelia takes over little by little… - She is going to need some time, April is very worried, you know. - Reassure her, I watch over her… - I will tell her, she is not at best either. I go to see her regularly… This detail surprises me, but I didn’t question him more. - I’m going to have to leave you, I don’t want to talk too long and Amelia is alone waiting for me. Tells April and Nathan that everything is fine. I will give news if I can quickly. - Fine, see you soon! - See you, Jackson. I hang up and notice that Amelia is turned away from me, head down to the package she put on the motorbike, visibly reconsidering her purchases. I leave the booth and walk again in front of Henry’s stall with this bouquet that automatically captures my attention. I can not help but think of the smile that I was able to trigger a few minutes earlier… and I had before me an opportunity to spark another. I concretize my idea in a few seconds while taking care to hide it behind my back. When I get closer to Amelia, my steps inform her of my presence and she immediately turns around. - Everything is fine? Can we go? - I don’t know… are you sure you have not forgotten anything? She touches her jacket to feel her wallet in her pocket and looks up at me, with a touch of misunderstanding on her face. - No, I have everything… - Yet, I think you forgot… this… I finally announced, revealing the bouquet that I hid behind me. The bouquet she had scrutinized on our arrival at the market. I look at her with attention and her reaction makes me happy: her eyes light up and a beautiful smile emerges on her lips. A smile that revives all the features of her face and gives her an almost dazzling aura. - How… well when… she stammers while finding my gaze. - It seemed to please you… I saw how you look at it just now. She stays silent for a few seconds, alternating her eyes between the flowers and my face. - Yet, I made comments on another bouquet. - Did you prefer the other? - No… no… I prefer that one. I’m just surprised you noticed. - I am attentive when you are concerned. You should know now. She seizes the bouquet and breathes the perfume of flowers for a long time. She then looks up and stares at me with that same smile. - Thank you so much… - You’re welcome… it makes me happy to see you smile… I answer her by briefly sliding two fingers against her cheek. And hope wins me at this moment. As a wish, I wanted to make and see it fulfilled very quickly. Because I was hoping that this smile was the beginning of a long series… and that soon it would be nothing more than shouts of laughter that would resonate… annihilating the crying and anxiety that still haunted her.

                                      –––––––––––––––––––––––

Thank you for reading. 💛

Tell me which days you want me to post a chapter, please!💛

[tornbetween2loves]

No More Secrets

This fic was a request for the July prompts created by @kinda-iconic for @choicesjulychallenge It was requested by my good friend @riseandshinelittleblossom for an Adrian and Oliva pairing. This is a new pairing for me, I began writing them for the Choices Crossover project. This story does not take place in that AU, although there may be some similarities between the two. I am posting this a day late, this was actually a request for yesterday’s prompt, which was Secrets. Sorry for the delay, but I’ve been super busy this week. Hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry. I am simply borrowing them.

Word Count: 2723

Warning: this fic contains erotica. Please do not read if you are under the age of 18.

You can find more content for this pairing on my masterlist.

Adrian groaned and winced as he heard Olivia pull the cord to open the curtains, allowing rays from the early morning sun to filter into the room. “Rise and shine, sleepy head! We have a very busy day planned.” Adrian pulled the comforter up over his head, shielding himself from the sun’s burning rays. Olivia spun around and stood at the foot of the bed, her hands poised on her hips. Her lips curled up into a slight smirk as she grasped the bottom corners of the comforter, snatched it off the bed and tossed it aside. Adrian yelped as he hopped out of bed, the sun searing into his naked skin. He dashed into the bathroom and closed and locked the door behind him. His breath came in short pants as he glanced down at the red sores on his arms and chest. Thankfully, they were already beginning to heal and disappear. There was a soft knock at the door.

“Adrian? Are you ok? What’s wrong?” The concern was evident in Olivia’s voice on the other side of the door. Adrian took a deep breath as he struggled to slow his racing heart and keep his voice even. “Yes, I’m fine. I’m sorry I just really had to pee. I’m going to shower and get dressed then I’ll be downstairs. Will you please make some coffee?” He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to the door gently. After a pause she answered. “Of course. But hurry up! I want to get all my shopping done before lunch.” He listened as he heard her move to the door and leave the room. He groaned as he slipped his robe on over his still red skin and slipped back into the bedroom. He quickly closed the curtains, then made his way to the closet.

He walked over to a portrait hanging in the dressing area and felt underneath the bottom of the frame until he found a small button. With a click the portrait swung away from the wall, revealing a wall safe. He entered the combination on the keypad and opened the safe to reveal a briefcase. He opened the case to reveal an insert with holes for 20 vials. They were all empty but one. Adrian took a deep, ragged breath as he removed the last vial and held it between his forefinger and thumb. This was it. The last vial. When he decided to invite Olivia to accompany him to New York while he settled his affairs, he had no idea it would take this long. When he decided to relocate his lab to the remote mountains of Lythikos he had begun the process of putting people in place to run his New York operations. But he had miscalculated the amount of time it would take to actually put these plans into action.

He didn’t bring enough serum. And of course Olivia wanted to spend her days shopping and exploring New York City with her dashing billionaire boyfriend on her arm. This was the last day. He would have to do something. He sighed deeply as he drew back the plunger on the syringe, watching as the last of the serum was sucked into the tube. He injected it into his veins, closing his eyes as he felt it begin to spread throughout his body. He felt his blood warming in his veins and sucked in a deep breath. He closed the briefcase and shut the safe, then went to draw back the curtains in the bedroom.

Adrian stood in the morning sunshine, basking in the warmth of the sun’s rays. This was it. The last day he could walk in the sunshine freely.

*******************************

Adrian paced back and forth in front of his desk. Olivia was relaxing before dinner while his stomach was tied up in knots. He didn’t notice the first knock on the door. The second was much louder and more persistent. He opened the door to see Kamilah standing there. He breathed a deep sigh of relief. “Thank you for coming. I just don’t know what to do.” Kamilah nodded silently as she stepped into the office and closed and locked the door. She took one look at Adrian’s face and could tell he was stressed. “What is it? Why are you so upset?” He walked over to the window and watched the last rays of the sun disappearing as it set. His face was sad and his voice soft as he slowly turned to face his friend. “I took the last vial of serum this morning. I-I don’t know what I’m going to do.” His voice cracked and he turned to hide a tear that rolled down his cheek. “There’s really nothing I can do,” he mumbled, more to himself than to Kamilah.

Kamilah watched her friend for a moment, her heart breaking for him. She knew how hard it was to keep this secret. And yet, as hard as it was to keep, it was even harder to tell. She took a few steps forward and placed her hand on Adrian’s shoulder. “You have to tell her, Adrian. It’s time. She needs to know. You know you can’t hide this from her forever.” He nodded slowly. “Yes, I know. I’m just so scared that she’ll be angry at me for not telling her sooner. Maybe she’ll leave. Maybe she’ll never speak to me again.” Kamilah shrugged. “Or maybe she’ll just love you for who and what you are. Olivia Nevrakis can be stubborn as hell, but she has also proved to be loyal to the people she cares about.” Adrian nodded slowly in agreement, then turned to face his friend. His eyes were filled with worry as he looked at her. “But how do I tell her? I can’t just blurt out that I’m a vampire.”

Kamilah smirked and shook her head. “No, you can’t. That would be a disaster.” She hesitated as she pondered a moment. Then her face broke into a bright smile. “Adrian, don’t tell her your a vampire. Take her out to dinner. Dance with her. Buy her flowers. Then take her home and show her who you truly are.” Adrian’s face lit up. “Do you really think that will work?” Kamilah nodded. “Of course. Just don’t get carried away. You must maintain complete control. You can not feed on her without her permission.” Adrian shook his head. “No, I know that. Of course not.” He walked around to sit down behind his desk. He picked up the phone and called to make reservations as Kamilah let herself out the door.

*********************************************

Olivia’s eyes widened as Adrian pulled up in front of Per Se, Manhattan’s most exclusive French restaurant. “This is where we’re having dinner?” She squealed with delight. “The tasting menus here are world-renowned.” She smiled slyly as she glanced at Adrian out of the corner of her eye. “Is this some kind of special occasion?” He smirked and leaned over to kiss her softly, an eyebrow raised. “You could say that, I guess.” He flashed her another smile as he opened his door and came around to open the door for her. He held her hand as she stepped out of the vehicle and Adrian tossed the keys to the valet. They walked into the restaurant hand-in-hand as the hostess smiled and greeted them. “Good evening Mr. Raines. I have your table ready.”

They sat in a private booth near the window with a view of the city below them. Olivia smiled from ear to ear. “Adrian this is amazing!” She looked out the window as their server approached with a bottle of champagne. He popped the cork and filled two flutes, then put the rest of the bottle on ice. Adrian looked at Olivia and smiled. “Would you like to hear their menu? They don’t have a printed one because it changes everyday.” Olivia shook her head. “I am perfectly happy with the tasting menu.” Adrian nodded and turned to the waiter. “We’ll take the tasting menu, for two.” The waiter bowed as he nodded and left them alone. Olivia beamed with happiness as Adrian tried to ignore the feeling in the pit of his stomach. He raised his glass of champagne and clinked it gently with her’s. “To us,” he said with confidence he did not feel. Olivia smiled as she repeated the toast and they both drank.

After the tasting menu had been served, a live band began to play a waltz and the dance floor started to fill up. Adrian stood and extended his hand to Olivia. “Will you dance with me?” Olivia smiled as she took his hand. “Of course.” He led her to the dance floor where he wrapped her closely in his arms and they swayed slowly to the music. Something happened to the two of them when they danced together. Maybe it was because of how they met, or maybe it was how their bodies came together as one. They were lost in each other, the rest of the world faded away around them. Olivia gazed into his eyes, entranced by the circle of red around his iris as he held her close. He felt his desire for her building inside him as he locked his lips on hers. He moaned softly into the kiss as he broke it, his lips moved across her cheek to her ear. “I love you, Olivia.” He brushed her earlobe with his lips and ran his tongue along the side of her neck to her collarbone. He ached to taste her to have her blood on his lips. He lightly grazed his fangs along her neck as she trembled and moaned softly into his neck. “Let’s get out of here.” Adrian snapped his head up and closed his eyes as he struggled to maintain his composure. He released Olivia and went back to their table. This was going to be difficult. He paid the check then they headed outside to get the car.

She was all over him as he drove like a bat out of hell. He gasped as she slid her hand between his legs and groped him through his slacks. By the time they got home he was barely able to keep it together. His eyes shone bright red. He couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t hold back. They barely made it through the door as they tore each other’s clothes off and Adrian pinned Olivia against the wall just inside the front door. He kissed her neck fervently, careful not to use his fangs. She panted and moaned and trembled in his arms. He picked her up and impaled her on his hard member as she leaned back against the wall for leverage. He thrusted wildly as she moaned his name, her head thrown back in abandon. “Olivia, please—there’s something I must—oh god!” Olivia opened her eyes wide and locked on Adrian’s eyes as they glowed bright red. He opened his mouth as a primal roar escaped his throat and she saw his fangs. He couldn’t help it, he couldn’t hold back any longer. He kissed her passionately and switched up his pace, thrusting slowly in and out of her. He tried desperately to reel in his desire to taste her. He buried his face in her neck as he drowned in her scent and his need for her.

Suddenly he felt her mouth hot at his ear, her voice was deep and breathy. “Let go, Adrian. It’s ok. I’m yours. I love you. Take me. All of me.” He snapped his head up to meet her eyes, his cheeks wet from tears of restraint. His voice came out in a gravelly whisper as he began to thrust wildly once more. “I-I love you so much.” Just as the tension snapped in Olivia’s belly, he sunk his fangs deep into the side of her neck, the taste of her sending him over the edge as he drank her deeply. Olivia cried out, her body quivering from the exquisite mixture of pleasure and pain. Adrian withdrew from the bite, running his tongue along each puncture wound to stop the bleeding. They both stood in silence, their foreheads touching, as they panted. Adrian broke the silence first. “Are you all right my love?” He ran his tongue along his teeth, savoring the taste of her blood that still lingered on the tip of his fangs.

“I think so,” she said as she unwrapped her legs from around his waist. She felt just a bit woozy as she placed her feet on the ground. Adrian steadied her as she swayed. “I’m so sorry, I took too much blood. Let me carry you to bed.” He swept her up into his arms and carried her into the bedroom. He laid her gingerly on the bed and propped up her head with pillows. Olivia’s eyes fluttered as she fought to stay awake. “I think I’ll be ok,” she murmured softly. “I just need some rest.” Adrian nodded as he laid next to her and pulled her into his arms. She nuzzled into the crook of his arm and it wasn’t long before her breathing steadied. She was asleep. He breathed a deep sigh of relief as he kissed the top of her head. She was still here. He had shown her all his secrets, and she was still here.

*************************************************************

Adrian awoke to darkness and an odd feeling in the air. He reached out for Olivia but discovered she wasn’t there. He snapped up quickly as he reached to turn on the light on the nightstand. She wasn’t in the room with him. He began to panic as he jumped out of bed, disoriented. Where was his phone? Shit! What time was it. He rushed over to the window and pulled back the curtains just enough to see that the sun was beginning to set. Where was she? Did she leave him after all? She must’ve decided it was all too much. He sighed deeply as he sunk into a chair at the foot of the bed. He sunk his head into his hands and didn’t bother fighting back the tears that stung his eyes. Soon he was sobbing, not caring about the noises he made or how he looked. He was so consumed with sadness he didn’t notice the door open and shut. He barely noticed the curtains being pulled open abruptly. It wasn’t until he felt her arms around his neck from behind and heard her whisper softly in his ear that he began to take notice.

“Relax, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Adrian snapped his head up and locked his gaze on those emerald pools that held his heart. He bolted up and walked around the chair to wrap Olivia in his arms tightly. “I was so scared. I thought I’d lost you. You were gone. Why? Where did you go?” Olivia smiled up at him. “Hey, vampires sleep during the day, right? Well it will take me awhile to adjust to that schedule. I didn’t want to disturb you so I went into the other room. I wasn’t real sure what time to wake you.” She blushed as she looked up at him. “I’m sorry I’ve been dragging you out of bed so early. You should’ve told me.” Adrian shook his head. “How could I? Just blurt it out in conversation? So much was at stake. I was so scared of losing you. I couldn’t risk it.” Olivia pulled away and looked at him sternly. “You could never lose me, Adrian. I’m committed now. You have nothing to worry about. But will you promise me something?” Adrian nodded. “No more secrets, ok?” He smiled and headed for the bathroom. “Deal.” He paused at the doorway and turned to face her once more. “Are you sure you’re ok with all this? I know it’s a lot to handle.” Olivia smirked and put her hands on her hips.

“I’m fine. It’s not so much to handle. Besides,” she raised an eyebrow at him, “You’re a vampire, I’m a Nevrakis. I’d say that’s a pretty even match.” Adrian chuckled as he shook his head. “An even match indeed.” He blew her a kiss and headed into the bathroom.

[yourfutureking-shigarakitom-blog]

Forever and Always [Toshinori Yagi X Reader]

It had been a long day. A long and very boring day. The clouds had clotted the skies, bringing hardly any sunshine and simply making it even more gloomy than you would have liked. The ride home was- calm, to the point you ended up drifting off and only coming back too when you entered the driveway of your home. A small smile pulled at your lips as you got out. At least once your fiancee returned home, your brilliant light of happiness and hope would return. You could always count on Toshinori to come home and make your day one thousand times better.

Heading into the house, he first called out to him, hoping he would be home already- but doubting it. Instead, the only thing to greet you was your own echo. Giving a heavy sigh, you drop your keys the bowl beside the door and take your shoes off. "Probably out there saving someone." You remind yourself, finding your smile returning very slightly.

Was it hard being with Toshinori? Well, relationship-wise, no! He was an amazing man who did everything to make you happy. But, with him being the once-was Number One Hero and all, he wasn't exactly always home or at your beck and call. Not that you needed that, of course! You were quite capable on your own, after all. You may not be one of the world renowned super heroes- but you were helping save lives! Even if your quirk was weaker than most other healing types...

Deciding that starting dinner so that he could have a nice hot meal with you when he finally did come home, you head to the kitchen, turning the TV on for some background noise. Washing your hands, you get to work making dinner, humming softly to yourself.

As you're cutting up some meat for the meal, you glance up at the dry erase board hung above the coffee maker, the few messages scattered across it reminding you of things- a doctors appointment for Toshi, the date of Izuku's birthday, and in big, bubble letters, the day you were expecting the newest addition to your little family.

You could still remember the day you found out. Toshinori had panicked because you had been throwing up every so often on and off for a few weeks. Then you started getting drowsy and fatigued more often. So, he had taken you to - who, after a few tests, came back and gave you the happy news. Toshinori had never looked happier, he had hugged you so tightly, making you remind him there was a growing life in you now- to which he quickly released you and apologized profusely.

If you were honest, you had been terrified for a while. Voicing this concern to your fiancee. Scared that if anyone found out All Might, the Symbol of Peace had a child- a family at ALL- you would be targets. But he had helped you with these problems. Assuring you that he would do everything in his power to keep you both safe.

As you are reminiscing about this, you feel your bundle of joy kick, making you stop and look at your stomach. "He'll be home soon, dear." You soothe the child, only for a certain name to catch your attention from the TV.

" - despite a stunning victory from the hero, it would appear that the hero in question was rushed to the hospital moments later. No one is still quite sure what happened, or who managed to finally take the villain down. But there is speculation of the Symbol of Peace trying to take down one more-"

Your blood ran cold as you gripped the knife in your hand far tighter than you likely should have. Your knuckles turning white as you get closer to the TV. "Toshi...You promised..." You mutter to yourself, a cold chill making you freeze as you look at the battleground of where this battle had taken place. It was horrifying. It reminded you of the last battle Toshi had been through with One For All.

He had promised you...that he wouldn't do anything like that again. He wouldn't promise he would stop saving everyone, or that he wouldn't still try to be himself...but he promised not to get into a near death experience anymore. For yours and your child's sake.

It had to be another hero, right? Toshinori would walk through that door and would walk up behind you and comment on how horrible the scene on the screen looked. Or make a dramatic entrance like usual, apologizing with a new stuffed bunny or box of chocolates. You had to believe that.

Then your phone went off, making you jump, bringing you back to reality. Slowly pulling the phone from your pocket, you look at the caller ID, seeing Izuku and Toshinori's picture of the two of them posing, Izuku's name in the ID. Your heart was racing, maybe Izuku was calling you to tell you he and Toshinori were having a late night training?

With shaking hands, you answer the phone, trying to sound as normal as possible. "Good afternoon, Izu." You say, trying to smile, even if he couldn't see it. However, on the other end of the phone you could hear the poor kid sniffling and crying. He seemed to be trying to talk. However, the only think you understood was at the end when you breaks. "I-I'm sorry! I can't!" He seems to have handed the phone off, making fear grip at your heart like a steel vice. The next voice that came to the phone caught you off guard and made that fear even worse.

"[Y/N]?" "A-Aizawa...?" Shota? Why was he with Izuku? "...You need to get down to the hospital..." The usual dead tone of his voice instead had feeling in it. A sad tone. A pity tone. "It's not looking good."

The phone dropped from your hand, clattering to the floor. It was as if all the adrenaline in your body was pumping at an accelerated rate as you dash for the door, snagging your keys back from the bowel as you get in and take off like a bullet to the hospital. The entire time, you could feel tears forming in your eyes, biting back the fear as best as you could. You park hap hazardously in a spot and run inside, only to notice the small white creature that was Toshinori's boss at the entrance.

Nezu tried offering you his usual smile, but it didn't help at all. "Nezu- please tell me he's okay." You say, looking down at the critter and wiping at your eyes. He is silent for a moment before holding a paw out to you. "Let's just go see him, shall we?" He offers. Choking back a sob, you nod and take his small paw as he leads you to the elevator.

The ride up was agonizing. The silence deafening. You couldn't stand it. "He promised me." You tell Nezu, gripping at your shirt, staring at the floor. "I know he's- It's in his nature- but he can't keep doing this. He shouldn't have-" The tears stung your eyes as you hold them back. You didn't want to be crying when you saw him. Nezu gently pats your hand. "Let's not dwell on the should and should not's." He tells you as the doors slide open.

Nezu leads the way down the hall, nurses rushing past you, doctors calling for this or that, families crying, someone was yelling in pain. Swallowing hard, you try to close it all off.

Opening a door slightly, Nezu looks at you. "After you, dear." He urges. You slowly step inside the room, the slight beeping of the monitor and the sound of your own heartbeat seeming to drown out everything as you step in.

Izuku and Aizawa both turn to you. Izuku's eyes were still wet, puffed out and red. Aizawa gave you a small nod as he grabs Izuku by the shoulder and moves aside. Once he moved you could see the damage to your fiancee.

You weren't sure how many machines were attached to him- but you knew there were about ten needles stuck into Toshinori like a pin cushion. Large gauze patches covered his arms and legs, one also seemed to be plastered to the left side of his face. And the one visible eye was bloodshot, as if the veins inside had burst.

But possible the worst possible thing you could have thought was his chest. The usual broad chest, heavenly toned and great for giving the best hugs- was now reversed. As if someone had removed his chest cavity all together.

Your shaking intensified as you walk over, one hand over your mouth, the other reaching out to touch him. Those tears you were trying so hard to keep from spilling over were now soaking your cheeks.

"Yagi..." Your voice hardly above a whisper, cracking and breaking. A smile pulls at his lips as he reaches out to you as well. "[Y/N]." He finds your hand with his and interlaces your fingers with his. That sunshine of a smile, not even dull in this time, made his eyes shine. It never would cease to amaze you just how amazing he was at that.

"What did you do...?" You ask, swallowing back the crack in your voice to try and speak clearer. Toshinori rubbed the back of his neck with his good arm...well, whichever one had the least amount of needles jammed into it at least. "I...I know. I shouldn't have but-" He starts before coughing, blood splattering the white blankets.

You had grown use to the coughing up blood but this? This was more than usual. You sit beside him and grab his hand. "Please...don't." You frown. "I'm...I'm not mad." You couldn't be even if you wanted too. Squeezing your lovers hand, you close your eyes. "Just tell me you're going to be alright!" Sniffling slightly, you feel your shoulders shaking as you wait.

There was silence. No one spoke. The only noises in the room were the beeping of machines and yours and Izuku's sniffling. Eventually, someone did speak up.

"I'm afraid it doesn't look so good." Recovery Girl says, strolling over from where she had been watching at the small desk by the window. She holds out a clipboard to you. Opening one eye, you take it and pull it toward you, reading over the notes as Recovery Girl continues.

"He sustained a massive amount of damage to his chest- by the looks of it, it's completely shattered and if you look here..." She flips a page to show an X-Ray. "One of the ribs that broke away is stabbing him through a very important artery."

Swallowing hard, you look back over at Yagi, eyes wide. "C-Can't we just leave it there? It's like that whole 'leave a knife in you scenario thing and-" You try, hoping. "Dear, that isn't how it works." Recovery Girl puts a hand on your shoulder. "If it's left there for too long, he'll die, but if we take it out...There's still a very slim chance of survival. The lasting effects could be detrimental to his mind and not to mention his body having to be repaired." She looks over at Yagi and frowns. "I'm no seer of death, but if I had to estimate...He has around three hours left." She says quietly. You felt your heart shred in two as you drop the clipboard to the floor with a clatter.

Three hours? THREE?

180 minutes...

You look over at your fiancee, tears unstoppable now. Toshinori was looking down at the blankets, motionless, silent. "I'm so sorry." He said, slouching forward even more. "I've ruined everything. I've ruined your life..." He says, eyes closed tightly as he grips his hospital gown. "I'm no hero. I can't even be there for my child now..." His shoulders start to shake a bit. "I can't finish training Midoriya. I can't even be there for our wedding day."

"Toshi..." You say, heart feeling like it too had been pierced by something.

"We...we can have it right now." The suggestion fell from your mouth before you could think it through. Toshinori's eyes shift upward to meet your own. "It may not be ideal..." You sniffle and wipe at your eyes. "But- I want to be your wife. Right until your last breath. Please..." A hand was placed on your shoulder, making you look beside you. Aizawa stood beside you, silent for a moment.

"I think it's a wonderful idea." Nezu says from Aizawa's shoulder, offering a sad little smile. "You and Yagi deserve this." Aizawa states, glancing from you to Toshinori, who pressed a palm to his eye. "Yeah, it may be bittersweet- but..." Izuku tries to steady his voice. "I always wanted to see you two finally exchange vows." He wipes his nose.

Recover Girl gives your hand a pat, holding it with her other. Toshinori looked around at everyone. Everyone smiled back. He closes his eyes with a weak smile. "Alright. Let's get married." He says.

"I'll find some rings for you." Izuku says, leaving the room, off to find some rings to make do, as obviously, you didn't have any.

Aizawa pulls his hand away from your shoulder as he nods. "I'll run to your house to get your dress. I'll grab you a nice tie, Toshi." He states, placing Nezu on the bed with Toshinori and leaving. "Yes, and I shall officiate the ceremony." The small mammal says, sitting down with you.

You smile and look to recovery girl. "Will you honor me by being my maid of honor?" You ask, getting a rather shocked look from the elder woman. This fades into a very happy smile as she nods. "I would love too, [Y/N]."

You turn to Toshinori with a smile, crawling closer to grab his hands in your own. "You know, you would have made the best father ever." You tell him, placing your forehead to his as gently as you possibly could. A small laugh escapes you. "At least they will have plenty stories to hear about how great their father was." The notion of that turned your laugh into a sob. He pulls a hand away to place on your head, gently petting your hair. "That's what worries me." Toshinori says, making you look him in the eyes. "They'll hear all these great and amazing stories about their old man, they'll hear about how he left their mother alone, they'll grow to hate the very idea of me, they'll-"

You shut him down, placing a kiss to his lips. "No, they won't."

"Of course they won't. Don't be getting all depressing on us now." Nezu states, trying to brighten the mood a bit. "They'll be just as strong and kind as their father." He adds on, smiling.

You give the male a small smile and nod. "Exactly. They'll have your compassion...your strength..." You run a hand down his face,s topping at his cheek. "Your looks, hopefully." You giggle, earning a small laugh from Toshi as well. "Gods, no, I hope they get your looks and your grace and brains." The once-was-hero offers a half smile now.

"The child will be a very gorgeous child with those genes." Recovery Girl joins the conversation with a smile. "They'll also probably get both of your hardheadedness as well, sadly." She shakes her head with a laugh. Both you and Toshi grin at each other, knowing full well they would be one stubborn little kid.

"Well, I hope they get your smile." You hum.

Toshinori runs a hand up your arm. "I hope they get your eyes."

"Do you think they'll get along with everyone?" "Of course." "Izuku will certainly help you when you need it. Don't forget him, alright?" "I would never. He's part of the family too." You explain with a smile.

"I am?" The voice crack of a Midoriya on the verge of tears breaks the conversation. You look back at him as he gets the waterworks going again. "Well, they're going to need a big brother to teach them about life." You smile. Toshi nods and chuckles lightly. "And you know me better than most people." He adds. "Between you and [Y/N], they'll practically know me personally."

Izuku wipes his eyes, holding his balled up fist up and nods. "I-I promise to do my best!" He sniffles as you get up and walk over, hugging the boy close. "You'll be great. And you can tell them all about how you became the number one hero as well." This makes him sob even more.

"Young Midoriya. A moment?" Toshi asks- and quite on cue as well. Aizawa arrives just outside the door with the dress in arms. The dark haired male motions you outside. "Groom and Bride can't see each other." He says, a half smile on his face. You glance back at Toshi, who motions you to go put it on with a smile. "I can't wait to see."

Stepping out of the room, you follow Aizawa down to the bathroom. Handing the dress over, he looks you in the eyes. "Everything is going to be okay." He assures you, making your own waterworks kind of start up again. Taking the dress, you stare at it, then him before hugging him tightly, crying into his scarf for a minute before he pulls you away. "Come on, there's time to cry later. We have a wedding to attend." He pushes you toward the bathroom. Swallowing back the tears, you nod and go inside.

Coming back out, you fix your veil and blush. Aizawa had been leaning against the wall and stood up quickly as you come out. "Oh...He's going to love you in that." Is the first thing he says as he holds a hand out. "Shall I walk you down the aisle?" He chuckles. You take his hand and giggle. "Absolutely." Aizawa gently takes your hand and leads you back to the room, the door closed for now.

"One moment." Aizawa says before leaving you in the hall to rush inside. As you stand there, staring at the door, you hold back the tears. Right up until you feel a small tug at your dress. You look around before down. A small girl and two boys stood at your side. "Mommy said that a princess needs flowers." The girl says, holding up a small vase of flowers with a pink ribbon wrapped around the neck. One of the boys whispered to her before backing away. The small girl smiles. "My brother says your really pretty. Are you visiting your prince?" She tilts her head.

Choked up, you had the flower vase in hand as you give a smile. "Why thank you..." At the mention of your prince, you giggle. "Actually, I'm a queen, I'm going to see my king." You whisper quietly. The small girls eyes light up. "Wow! A queen!" She turns and runs back to her parents, exclaiming about how she wants to be a beautiful queen of the world one day. You laugh gently before looking to the two parents. One of them gives you a sad smile and waves. The other was looking away, wiping at their eyes.

Looking down at the flowers, you smile. Calla lilies, daisies, peonies and Queen Ann's Lace. All white in color.

Aizawa steps back out into the hallway with you, noticing the flowers, but instead of asking any questions, he takes the vase and wrpas the flowers with the ribbon. "Beautiful." He nods before placing one of the Queen Ann's Lace in your hair. "He's ready when you are." He says, hand on the doorknob.

You nod and the door opens again, Aizawa taking your arm in his and leading you down a little 'aisle' made of what you assumed was gauze. As you walk down the little homemade aisle, Izuku stands at Toshinori's side, looking like he might burst into tears again. Toshi must have made him his best man.

But what you were looking for was Toshinori's expression. That light that seemed to always shine from within him was back. His blue eyes shined in happiness as you got closer. The blush on your cheeks worsened as you approached him. He had on a little bow tie and seemed like he managed to get his tuxedo top on at the very least.

And you both looked amazing.

Reaching him, you turn to face him, handing your flowers to Recovery Girl, who stepped back and smiled.

Nezu stood before you both, clapping his hands once.

"Good evening everyone. Friends, today, we gather not to witness the beginning of what will be- but of what already is." Nezu starts as you stare Toshinori in the eyes with a smile. "We do not create this marriage, because we cannot." Nezu continues. "We can, however, and do, celebrate with Yagi and [Y/N]" He smiles at the two of you. "the wondrous and joyful occurrence that has already happened in their lives, and the commitments they make today."

By now, Izuku was crying again and Aizawa was patting his back.

"True marriage begins well before the wedding day, and the efforts of marriage continue well beyond the ceremony's end. A brief moment in time and the simple act of a kiss between lovers are all that is required to create the legal bonds of marriage. However, it takes love, commitment and compromise to make a marriage durable and everlasting. Today, you declare your commitment to each other among friends. Your yesterdays were the path to this moment and the road ahead..." Nezu trails off for a moment. "is a journey that you must go forward with onto tomorrow together. May it become clearer what lays ahead with each new day..."

Toshinori reaches down and interlaces his fingers with yours. Nezu turns to Toshinori first. "Do you, Yagi, accept [Y/N], as your lifemate and one true love, promising to share in all that life offers and suffers, to be there for them until your last breath, to soothe them in times of peril, and support them in all endeavors, no matter how big nor small?"

"I do." No hesitation as he tightens his grip on your hand.

"And do you, [Y/N], accept Yagi as your lifemate and one true love, promising to share in all that life offers and suffers, to there for them until your last breath, to soothe them in times of peril and support them in all endeavors, no matter how big nor small?"

"Of course I do." You say, holding back tears once more.

"May we have the rings?" Nezu asks as Izuku quickly nods and hands a ring to Toshinori first.

Toshinori takes your hand in his own and smiles. "[Y/N], I give you this ring as a symbol of my my eternal love and faithfulness. As I place it on your finger, I commit my heart and my soul to you. I ask that you look back on this day and smile,knowing that you are and forever will be my one and only love. As I place this ring on your finger, I hope you look back on this day and not cry, but smile, for I want you to be happy and remember, there's no need to be afraid. Why?" He slips the ring on your hand and places a hand to your chest. "Because I will always be here."

Tears roll down your cheeks as you give a small giggle and nod. Izuku hands you the other ring.

"Yagi, I have dreamed of this day for so very long. The day we started our family, the day you would come home and I could welcome you home with a warm kiss and call you my precious husband." You grip his hand in your own, holding it to your chest. "As I place this ring on your finger, I wish for nothing more than your happiness and your that you close your eyes with the image of our future." Tears bubbled over his own eyes now. "As I place this ring on your finger, I pray that some miracle happens so that we can have a future..." You finish, placing the ring on his finger. "Because you're my hero."

"You may now kiss your bride." Nezu assures Toshinori. The blonde wipes at his eyes and nods, raising your veil and looking you over. "You're beautiful." He whispers before lifting your chin softly and placing a deep kiss to your lips. A spark snaps between you two as you pull away, touching your lips. "Shocking." You say with a soft giggle. Toshi chuckles and kisses you once more.

"Ladies and gentleman, I present to you for the first time...Mr. and Mrs. Toshinori."

With those words, everyone claps. Looking around at everyone in the room, you smile to yourself. As the others are doing this, Toshinori coughs, the applause dying as he continues his coughing.

Your heart drops as you are pushed aside by Recovery Girl and Nezu is quick to rush to the button on the wall to call for someone. Next thing you know, you're being rushed out of the room, people yelling and calling for this or that.

"Wait- I need to say goodbye!" You cry out as two of the nurses pull you out to the waiting room.

You weren't sure how long you had been sitting there, staring at the wall, eyes wide. But you knew it had been quite a while. Izuku had been pacing for the past few minutes after having returned the borrowed rings and Aizawa had fallen asleep. You, however, found yourself numb. Here you were, sitting out in a waiting room, in your wedding dress, not able to even hold your husband's hand in his final moments...

"It's best to just sit down, Midoriya..." You finally call over to the boy, who jumps a bit at your voice. "They'll give us the news when it's time..." You sigh, closing your eyes.

"Excuse me?" You open an eye, finding a nurse in the doorway. "Mrs. Toshinori?" She asks, giving you a soft smile. The numbness spread quickly. "That's me." You get up. "Come with me." She urges. Izuku gave you a look and nods, basically assuring you he'd be here for you when you got back.

Walking back with the nurse, you try to prepare yourself.

"We have great news-"

This stops you in your tracks.

"It's like some kind of miracle actually." She smiles back at you. "The reason he started coughing was because the artery that was penetrated fell out. One of our doctors was able to successfully retrieve it and patch him up."

You stare at the female in front of you.

"He's still recovering, so he's very very weak- but Recovery Girl said you needed to come see this." She opens the door for you and lets you in. Stepping in, you look at your husband's sleeping form, then to Recovery Girl, who was giving you a giddy little smile.

As you walk over to her, she looks down at Toshi. "It's amazing. Isn't it...?"

"It's...a miracle..." You mutter.

"Stranger things have happened..." She says before looking to you. "I believe you may have had something to do with it." This catches you off guard. "Me? What?" You blink in confusion. She simply nods. When you kissed Toshinori, you both seemed to jolt back. I'm curious...if maybe your healing quirk might be more than that." She goes silent as you look down at Toshi's sleeping face with a soft look. He looked so...peaceful....

The next few days were spent with making Toshinori comfortable at home, wanting him there. Even he was surprised by his survival- but you never did tell him about the possibility of it being your quirk. You didn't feel it was necessary.

He recovered slowly with your help, but he was getting better each day. These days fly by into weeks until one day- your rushed to the hospital. Toshinori was there for you, for everything- even the death grip you put on his hand as you cursed him for everything he was worth. And thus brought about the birth of Nana Iza Toshinori. You had never seen such a look on Toshinori until he held his daughter in his arms. That look was enough to fill any void with light.

And a great father he was. He stumbled through the whole parenthood thing like most new parents would. But he handled everything perfectly and with such a tender heart.

Nana grew into the most beautiful girl in a short four years.

As of right now, she was bouncing aorund in her fathers old cape, excited about 'Big Bro' coming over. Toshinori picked her up, allowing her  to 'fly' earning a laugh from the girl. As he does this, Izuku arrives, throwing his suitcase aside and opening his arms wide as Nana rushes him.

You giggle form your spot in the doorway, shaking your head as Toshinori walks over and stands at your side, one arm around your shoulder. Leaning your head on his, you smile. "We created that." You say softly, earning a chuckle from your husband. "That we did. I wouldn't have it any other way." He says, looking at you. You smile back and kiss him gently. His hand mirrors yours as he chuckles. "I am so glad I get to take this adventure with you...Forever and Always." He hums. With a hum of your own, you look at your hand on his. "Forever and always." You parrot as you both listen into Izuku as he lays on the couch, holding Nana above him with a smile.

"Is that so?" He chuckles. "Mnhnm! One more time! I love it!" Nana giggles as she is tossed in the air. "Okay, okay fine..." Izuku clears his throat.

"Not all men are created equal..." He starts, making you look to Toshi, who chuckles and rubs his neck. You both walk over and sit down to help Young Midoriya tell the story.

[pinknerdpanda]

The Wedding Singer - Track 5

“Love Stinks”

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader, Lisa (mentioned), Ketch

Word Count: 1,513

Series Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Language, Mentions of Infidelity, Alcohol

A/N: This is the fifth chapter of an AU SPN Series co-written by myself and @hannahindie entitled The Wedding Singer and is inspired by the movie. We have been working on this for the last few months and are very excited to share it with you. The series tag list is open. If you would like to be added, please send one of us an ask. Hannah made our beautiful aesthetic and the series was Masterbeta’d by @wheresthekillswitch.

Track List

Track 5: “Love Stinks”

The morning sun burned brightly overhead as it’s warm rays danced across the dashboard, their shapes growing and changing as the car rumbled down the road. The sky was a brilliant blue and only a few soft, cottony clouds dotted its surface. In all respects it was a perfect day. She wondered if Dean would get a chance to enjoy the sunshine today, or if he would lock himself away in his room in the basement. Not that she would blame him if he did, it’s not like he could just wake up and have his broken heart healed. She sighed and pushed the thought aside, turning to gaze out the passenger window.

“I can’t thank you enough for taking care of him, y/n,” Sam’s voice broke the silence, filling the small space. Y/n turned toward him and offered him a weak smile.

“It’s really no big deal. I just hate that this all happened. How could she do that to him?” Y/n stopped. The sudden flare of anger she felt was startling and she ground her teeth, trying to get her temper under control.

“Between you and I?” Sam lowered his voice.  “I never liked her,” Sam smirked at y/n before slowing down to turn onto the gravel road toward her house.

“Well, I’ve never met her, but at this point, I don’t think I want to. Thanks for driving me home, Sam.”

“Of course. How are…” Sam broke off abruptly, his eyes widening as he slowed down, gaping as they neared the house. “Is...is that an Aston Martin?”

A surge of excitement washed over her as she turned to see the familiar red car.

“I had no idea he was coming!” She pulled her phone from her purse and grimaced as she saw that she had eight missed calls, seven of them from the same person. She realized she’d never taken her phone off of silent after taking Dean home from the reception last night.

“So, you know James Bond, huh? What else are you not telling us, y/n?” Sam teased as he put the Impala into park, his handsome dimples on full display.

“Actually, his name is Ketch. He’s my fiance,” Y/n laughed nervously, her attention immediately drawn to the glittering gem on her left hand. After what happened to Dean, she was more anxious than ever. What if the same thing happened to her? What if Ketch never picked a date at all? She couldn’t decide which would be the more painful scenario to deal with.

Luckily, she didn’t have to think about it too long, because the front door to her home swung wide. A tall, dark haired man strode across the porch and down the steps toward the car, his eyebrows drawn up as his gaze flicked between Sam and y/n.

“Y/n! There you are! I have been worried sick about you.” His words didn’t match his tone. He may have been trying to play the concerned fiance card, but it was clear to y/n that he was furious. The excitement that she’d just felt at his unexpected appearance melted away as he glared across the front seat at Sam. “And just who, exactly, are you?” Ketch’s British accent accentuated each syllable in a way that managed to sound both polite and threatening.

“I’m Sam Winchester,” Sam offered. “That’s an amazing car you have.” Y/n opened the door and hopped out quickly.

“Thanks again for the ride home, Sam,” she smiled and nodded, before Ketch could say anything.

Sam took the hint and drove off, kicking small bits of gravel and dust to life with his tires.. Y/n took a deep breath before turning around to Ketch.

“I’m gone for a month and I come back to this?” Ketch threw an arm out toward the car shrinking into the distance. “Slumming it, eh?”

“It’s nice to see you too, Arthur. What the hell is your problem?” She crossed her arms across her chest and shifted her weight.

Ketch scoffed, blinking hard and scrunching up his nose in an air of superiority. “What’s my problem, love? Well, let me tell you my problem. I come to see my fiance only to find that she is not home. What’s more? When she does turn up, she’s still wearing her server’s uniform from the night before and being driven home by a strange man in a rusty old beater car. I’m sure I don’t have to spell out what exactly this all looks like.” Ketch quirked an eyebrow haughtily, and y/n guessed he wasn’t actually looking for a response, but she didn’t care.

“I can’t believe that you would think me capable of something like that, Ketch. For your information, I am in my server’s uniform because the bride of the wedding I was hired to work decided to stand the groom up at the altar. They went on with the reception but then he showed up drunk and needed someone to take him home. So, I did and then I fell asleep on his couch.”

“Well, he seems to have made a speedy recovery, doesn’t he.”

“Sam is the brother of the would-be groom. His name’s Dean; he sings in the band that plays at all the events at the community center. I felt so bad for him, I couldn’t just leave him there alone.” Y/n sighed and looked up into Ketch’s softening green eyes before sliding a hand up to his neck and brushing her thumb across his cheek. “I’m so happy to see you, Ketch. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, y/n.” A hint of a smile tugged at the corners of Ketches lips and and he wrapped a hand around her waist. “I’m sorry, I was worried when I couldn’t get ahold of you, and I suppose I may have overreacted, a tiny bit. Forgive me?”

Y/n pulled his face gently down to hers before planting a sweet, soft kiss on his lips. “Forgiven,” she smiled.

-----

Dean stared blankly at the television, the remote held limply in one hand. The faces of the actors and actresses on the screen blurred together in a pulsing wave of colors and light. He really had no interest if Juliana's unborn twins belonged to her mother’s best friend’s son’s vocal coach or not, he just needed some background noise to try and diffuse the barrage of voices and scenes playing on an endless loop in his mind’s eye.

More than half of Dean’s life had been intertwined with Lisa in some way and now that she was gone, he felt lost; hopeless. He’d spent all morning playing the conversations they’d had in the last few weeks over and over again in his head, dissecting each word looking for some hint that she was having second thoughts.

She’d been edgy, but she’d been planning a wedding and Dean knew she had been stressed. When had she made up her mind? What was the nail in the coffin for her? No matter what angle he looked at it from, she’d seemed happy. Was he really that clueless or could it be that she acted on a whim? For a moment, he considered the idea of her coming back to him, teary-eyed and begging for forgiveness - could he take her back?

The front door squeaked open and Dean glanced up to see Sam shutting it behind him. Dean looked away quickly, not willing to meet his brother’s gaze. He knew Sam’s eyes would be full of worry and pain for his older brother, but he feared finding pity there too, and Dean couldn’t stand the idea of it.

“Hey,” Sam said as he crossed the room and headed for the kitchen, tossing his keys on the counter. “Thirsty?”

Dean grunted in response but Sam was already reaching into the fridge for two cans of beer. He didn’t condone day drinking, necessarily, but considering the circumstances, it seemed appropriate. He came to join Dean on the sofa and handed him one of the beers.

“Thanks, Sammy.” Dean popped the top before taking a long swig. He ran his thumb over the lip of the can absently.

“Well, I got y/n dropped off back at Bobby and Ellen’s house. I’m glad she drove you home last night, Dean. I know you must be really upset, but to be drinking and driving is really irres…”

“You have no idea how I am feeling right now, Sam,” Dean interrupted, glaring at him. “Don’t even pretend like you do.” Dean looked away and dropped the remote. He rubbed a hand over his jaw angrily, sighing. “I’m sorry, man. I know you’re right, and you are just trying to help.”

“No, man. You’re right. I don’t have a clue how you must be feeling, Dean. I’m just glad that you’re ok.”

“I’m not, Sam.” Dean met his brother’s eyes, finding everything he’d feared. He clenched his jaw in frustration as the first few tears trailed down his cheek. “I’m not ok.”

Track 6 “Tainted Love” Coming 11/28/2017

Like what you see? Want more? My Masterlist is here and the lovely @hannahindie‘s can be found here. Thanks for reading! :)

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[xtremedespair3d]

HajiKo Anime: Summer 2020

Previously I made a post where I talked about my first impressions of the Summer anime I’ve watched, now that the Fall season is getting closer, now it’s finally the time to give my final impressions of everything I watched this season.

(I wanted to make a custom thumbnail for this post like I did with the previous one but I gave up with the idea afterwards)

(Also, I had some of this post in draft for a while but on September 29th, I spent HOURS and I WROTE a lot of good shit before and for some god forsaken reason Firefox decided to crash. Everything I had written before is gone and I have not even saved at all since, I’m so god damn salty. Now you will never experience what have I written before and all I wrote now are just bare remains from what I last remember writing, I was so god damn salty but in the end the rewrite worked out well, I did the best I could to rewrite some of the same things I said before and I did some little changes and added new things so I was satisfied, I hope you can still enjoy the post.)

As usual, here’s the tier of everything I watched this season:

(Higher resolution)

By the way, as of 2021 I think I might make only ONE tier for every anime I’m gonna watch that entire year, as I publish my first tier of the Winter season, I’ll be adding more visuals of the Spring anime and so on, even if I might get lost in finding the visuals as I edit my template, this is because I’ve been constantly making way too many standalone tiers for a single season FOR A YEAR, I bet I’ve must have been taking a lot of the website’s space for something very small and irrelevant.

TierMaker should have better options on whether the tiers your making are public or not, and I read the terms of services conditions, I’m kind of scared on what to do next with using TierMaker for doing these kinds of tiers, I can’t just find a random blank template and use GIMP.

Uzaki-chan: Aside from simply saying “This was a very good show, I had plenty of laughs” or something, the main thing I want to talk about isn’t so much in the show itself, but rather how Uzaki-chan herself, Hana Uzaki, has become a target of SJWs in one of the worst anime controversies ever, even worse than Goblin Slayer.

As for the series itself, I really liked it, I had plenty of good laughs and it was just fun to watch, and I’m really happy that season 2 is happening now too.

Fire Force: There is something about the feel of the show, these awkward long slow moments and stuff and everything else kinda drives me insane, but until the second half of the first season with the Adolla Burst and stuff, that’s where now I’m getting very intrigued in the plot, the worldbuilding, everything, and this season continues to expand the story and it gets even more interesting, and the animation can be really nice too.

Re:Zero season 2: Echidna is best girl, that’s it, that’s the review.

All jokes aside, I’m liking this season so far, it gets somewhat confusing but I’ll figure that out, and it’s strange that we’re only having the first half of the season this Summer and we will have to wait all the way to Winter 2021 for the series to continue, it’s a very Ufotable thing to do and hell, even Magia Record is still in production as of now.

Oregairu season 3: Let me give you a little bit of a retrospect: I honestly vaguely remember what even happened in the first two seasons, as I started watching this season, I started to remember at least one key moment from season 2 and even the characters, which I kinda feel like I like most characters, except Irohas is my least favorite, maybe Komachi too when she constantly says “kimochiwarui” but she’s not extremely annoying like Irohas. I still think how these last two seasons are visually impressive in contrast to the first season, that one’s painful to watch, the voice acting is particularly interesting too.

Now that the series is over, let me give my overall thoughts on the Oregairu series as a whole. The series overall isn’t a series I wouldn’t consider be a huge part of my life, I’m not hugely impressed with it but there are things I liked and I would still talk that I had seen the series, it’s kinda something.

Donkyuu Hentai HxEROS: This one’s the most conflicting ecchi series I’ve ever watched in my life. On the first episode, I was into it at first, but then I started to feel lukewarm about it, but then episode 5 was the one episode I got genuinely the most impressed, and the next few episodes have started to degrade on me, it was a complete 50/50 of a series to watch.

My biggest problem of the series is Kirara, her writing and just her overal existence, she’s the most painfully unlikeable main ecchi heroines I’ve ever seen in my entire life. On one hand, she looks cute, but boy, I fucking hate her so much, I can’t stand for how she is at all, I absolutely prefer her young lowkey pervert self from the flashbacks, she might even be the worst girl ever. If there’s any best girl in this series, it’d probably be the other HxERO girls like the Saitama branch teammates, the girls from the Toyko branch and even Chacha (And the shota (?) from the Toyko branch is best boy). The flashbacks are especially sad, it really hurts me how Enjo and Kirara’s happiness got taken away so god damn bad.

As someone who’s completely spoiled with full blown hentai instead of ecchi nowadays, I usually prefer girls written as perverts or something, someone who can be okay with what the MC does and what not, anyway, the other HxERO girls seem to be absolutely fine with doing the H-Energy and stuff, but Kirara is so intolerable to watch. Even Chacha and Dark Kirara (A hallucination reflecting Kirara’s young self dressed in a iliy outfit) encourage Kirara to be more honest with her feelings about Retto and try to bring her to her old self.

(I really hope this doesn’t sound sexist)

The animation was decent, the visuals looked nice but there are times the animation can be a little off, especially episode 11 which was awful, then there’s also the annoying censorship even the AT-X broadcast didn’t help, and by the way, the “H-Energy” version that comes out a week after the original episode premiere was not worth it at all, it only decensors some irrelevant parts, the steam and such, it doesn’t even decensor the boobs, thankfully the Blu-Rays are here to save the day.

I judge Kirara a lot which is my deal breaker with the series, but what about the story or the concept even? The concept of the story, the themes and everything seems okay, nothing really special about it that kinda makes up for the series being decent.

This isn’t the worst ecchi series I’ve seen in my life, but certainly the most mediocre, one that I felt it was truly frustrating to watch and I’m not even sure if I should make rank this as C or even D which I ended up on the former for the pros being the visuals and the concept being okay. Take me back to Winter 2020 with Ishuzoku Reviewers. Maybe I should have watched Peter Grill this season instead.

Honorable mentions:

BanG Dream Garupa Pico Ohmori: I gotta be real about the Garupa Pico series overall now, not just with Ohmori but with the first season as well.

To be brutally honest, I don’t really find humor in this series as much, though in some cases there are episodes that did make me laugh, I mean, the series is still entertaining to watch as it is but at the same time I’m not really impressed, it isn’t much of a constant laughing stock series as I wanted it to be, and never has been even with the first season to begin with.

Before the series came out, I had an argument with someone who hates the main Bandori anime series because of the “forced drama” and they called the Garupa Pico series “the good series,” it seriously frustrated me because the third season from this Winter was so good, it’s probably the best Bandori season yet because of the character interactions and it made me become a fan of RAS. I don’t hate the Garupa Pico series, it still has its charm, I like the visuals (I’m surprised that the Garupa Pico series are animated by Sanzigen as well) and I admire how the series is watchable on YouTube via the official Bandori channels, but in my opinion, this is probably like a 7/10 B rank series at best, it isn’t something that’s gonna stick and be a huge part of my life like the main series.

With that being said, I would probably like to go back to the Spring 2020 tier I made and would put Garupa Pico Ohmori on B in retrospect, but I’m still gonna keep it as it is because at the time I was really surprised for its sudden existence.

General overview and critiques of the overall Garupa Pico series aside, let’s talk about Ohmori for once, if there’s one thing I have to give huge thumbs up for is introducing RAISE A SUILEN and Morfonica and the series continuing to last for two-cours, one-cour for a short series can be such a waste, even better comedies like Girls’ Frontline Healing Chapter (I have something special to tell you about it below), I really like that the series is very long so I can watch all the misadventures for every band, but at the same time, even if RAS and Morfonica have finally been introduced, they’re still somewhat irrelevant and underused which makes me sad since Bandori 3 really made me a huge fan of RAS and I want to see more of them, and oddly enough, they probably can’t even bother trying to update the ending theme by including RAS and Morfonica, both in the visual and the song itself, if there’s gonna be a new Garupa Pico season in the next two years, hopefully RAS and Morfonica will become regular cast members. As for Morfonica, I have no idea and I don’t really know them much, I seriously need Bandori 4 to happen so it can introduce Morfonica and make me understand them.

As Joaquin Phoenix Joker said: “Comedy is subjective, Murray.”

Welcome to the Japari Park season 2: If there’s some things I have to complain about this second season is that I wish the series would continue to do these secret mystery Kako recordings during the credits like the first season had, and I wish they would stop doing these Friend trivia segments with non-existent Friends, the first season always did these segments with Friends who are actually featured in one episode or something, now that the series has been doing these segments with Friends that don’t even appear in the series, it makes these segments absolutely pointless.

Speaking of Kemono Friends, after the Welcome to the Japari Park series, who knows if the franchise’s anime future will live on given on how widely panned Kemono Friends 2 was. SEGA’s Chocotto Anime Kemono Friends 3 shorts have pretty much ended, I was actually eager on watching these shorts but they haven’t made any new short for a long time. What about 2021? Should we expect a Kemono Friends 3 anime? Probably not, and with the existence of the game with the same name, it’s gonna be extremely confusing whether this Kemono Friends 3 anime should be the third season of the main series or might be an adaptation of the game, whatever it turns out, I’d still watch it anyways because I want to continue to observe the Kemono Friends anime adaptations unfold, and I’d still be confident it would still be nowhere near as good as the first season with Tatsuki.

By the way, since September 16th, SEGA finally released not one, but FOUR new Chocotto Anime Kemono Friends 3 shorts after so long! (1, 2, 3, 4), I just happened to find that out as of the (re)writing of this, September 29th. My question is, what did it even take so long to make new shorts? One would assume is most likely COVID because that affected quite a lot of anime, but at least we finally got not one but four new videos of the Kemono Friends 3 shorts.

My Hero Academia: Make It! Do-or-Die Survival. Pretty strange for a new My Hero Academia OVA to come out this time.

Aggretsuko season 3. If there’s one thing I’d like to say about this season, or at least the last few episodes, it’s that this season has quite the darkest season finales for Aggretsuko I’ve ever seen.

Plans for Fall:

This was the weakest season of the year despite Uzaki-chan and Fire Force (Fruits Basket, Garupa Pico and Japari Park too but I don’t count leftovers), it’s a shame considering how this decade had started strong with quite some good shows and Summer has always been my favorite anime season, but the line-up isn’t as great as before, if Akudama Drive and Danmachi season 3 wouldn’t have been delayed if it weren’t for COVID, they would have made this season slightly better, but now that I think about it, it was for the best for them to get delayed because this Fall line-up is looking a million times better, hell, it’s looking to be the best season of the year!

Now, whenever I talk about the Fall anime season, we can’t forget the most important thing ever: My birthday! If you have no idea, I’ll probably remind you a billion times my birthday is coming soon, October 4th, and one of the things I always look forward the most is watching day 1 anime that come out in my birthday, but alas, I started to feel like I’m not looking forward to my birthday this year AT ALL, mainly because Venom Let There Be Carnage got delayed until June of 2021, and that really sucks so bad because THAT WAS MY ONLY CHANCE TO SEE A VENOM MOVIE IN MY BIRTHDAY, SOMETHING THE FIRST FILM SHOULD HAVE BEEN BECAUSE IT CAME OUT A DAY LATE! IT WOULD HAVE ABSOLUTELY TOPPED JOKER AS MY #1 BEST BIRTHDAY FILM EVER! My birthday gets even more depressing when there’s literally not a single anime that remotely interests me coming out in my birthday and most of the anime I’m the most excited for are coming out before and long after my birthday, the only choice I have is Talentless Nana, or Munou na Nana if you’d like to call the series but I like using the former, I watched the trailer of it and it was okay, not really impressed but might as well give it a shot in my birthday, if I didn’t like it, might as well rewatch the anime that came before it.

Anyways, enough talk about my birthday, let’s talk about my most anticipated Fall shows:

Akudama Drive - October 8th: Since the foundation of Tookyo Games, a new studio by Kazutaka Kodaka,and Kotaro Uchikoshi with artists like Rui Komatsuzaki and Shimadoriru, this anime by Pierrot was the #1 thing that got my most attention, and I can’t believe that we’re so close to the release! Though I SERIOUSLY wish this would come out on my birthday.

Danganronpa may be over but as long as there’s new projects with Kodaka and Komatsuzaki onboard, such as Akudama Drive and the upcoming Tribe Nine. Oh, and speaking of Danganronpa, guess what?... THERE’S GONNA BE AN AKUDAMA DRIVE AND DANGANRONPA COLLABORATION!!! (News provided by the official Akudama Drive Twitter account) Not only there’s gonna be illustrations by Rui Komatsuzaki but if the translations are correct, there’s gonna be more projects along the way! A Danganronpa and Akudama Drive collab is something I just never knew I needed in my life!

I’m absolutely calling it, this is definitely gonna be my AOTY, it may be based due to the fact that I love the Danganronpa franchise to death, but I’ve always had my eyes on this and I want to see it now!

By the way, I just realized something, there’s this project with visuals by Rui Komatsuzaki and Shimadoriru that I have yet to see some news of!

It’s not Tribe Nine, that game looks like a completely different beast on its own and it’s in collaboration with another project.

Then there’s also this other game that’s, quote:

Collaboration of the development team of Danganronpa and Spike Chunsoft. Kodaka actually started this project before his retirement of Spike Chunsoft. We imagine a kind of cyberpunk world from this art. Komatsuzaki designs the characters, Shimadoriru designs background, and Takada directs the sounds.

Okay, that sounds really cool, but I’m more interested in the one project with the Rui Komatsuzaki and Shimadoriru visuals, I want to know more about them!

Sure, the concept art may not represent what the final product might end up looking, but World’s End Club (Originally called Death March Club) and Akudama Drive live up to their concept art, so that’s something!

Speaking of Danganronpa, the 10th anniversary stuff was ABSOLUTELY LACKLUSTER, I legit expected there might have been surprise announcements or anything that said there’s a new Danganronpa installment, but nothing absolutely relevant came from it, the Danganronpa x Akudama Drive collab was the only good thing from it. This is what I get for setting my expectations way too high, well, maybe not too high, but still, come on.

(But at the same time, do I REALLY want a new Danganronpa without the staple creators on board?)

Girls’ Frontline Healing Chapter season 2 - October 7th: Girls’ Frontline isn’t my most played gacha game, a black sheep, probably the most blackest sheep since Granblue Fantasy, one I don’t heavily get invested to play like Fate/Grand Order, Azur Lane and even Arknights, though while I started playing Arknights at launch, I stopped around March because the game was very difficult and I lacked the resources, but I returned to the game in May after seeing my older sister starting to play Arknights. I returned to Girls’ Frontline because my Filipino friend started playing Girls’ Frontline around early May and he’s made quite a lot of insane progress in just 5 months, even I wouldn’t ever do that, but since September 28th, I uninstalled the game because I wanted to have some space to install Genshin Impact but at the same time I ended up giving on it too because it ran pretty slow for my phone even on the lowest settings and I almost had no storage left, I even tried installing the game on PC and I don’t know why but the game gave me last minute errors for some reason, so sacrifices had to be made for both Girls’ Frontline and Genshin Impact.

Anyway, enough talk with the gacha game side of things because I made quite a long un-spaced (?) paragraph, let’s talk about the GFL short anime series itself, even as a non-GFL player, I LOVED this series to death, hell, I was even lowkey sad when Healing Chapter ended, Madness Chapter, however... Not so much, we don’t talk about Madness Chapter. The biggest surprise I had when the series came out was that it came out in BiliBili with Chinese dub, hearing anime in Chinese dub is unheard of, I thought the series would be automatically in Japanese because the first trailer had an all-Japanese voice-over, but the Chinese dub was quite good, but then the Japanese dub finally came out--ON MY BIRTHDAY! on Japanese television (and BiliBili too). Well, that’s quite a lovely surprise, I managed to watch the JP dubbed premiere of Healing Chapter long before I went out with my family to have lunch and then go see Joker, it was the second 神映画 (Kami eiga - God film, I made that up) of the year, and my #1 was of course Avengers: Endgame. The JP dub of both Healing and Madness Chapter were very good too overall, it did some things better than CN and vice versa, even casting Persica’s JP voice which I really hope her seiyuu can be used again at some point, the JP broadcast of Healing Chapter also had these weird live-action segments of some dudes’ hands playing with the main character plushies doing random things... I don’t even know what they are or why they are, all I can say that they’re just pretty much fillers to fit the Japanese TV broadcast time limit.

I’m wasting quite a lot of time writing nonsense history of my experience with the Girls’ Frontline short anime series and let me get straight to the point of season 2, when the interview video was released, one of the animators said that they were working on season 2 and then the designs for AK-12 and AN-94 were shown, I’m of course hyped as hell for season 2! (Poggers) and, I don’t want to say this but because of COVID-19, I thought season 2 wouldn’t ever happen now, but it’s still alive and kicking and ready to be released! But there’s one MAJOR problem, apparently BiliBili is going to region lock the series! At first I wasn’t concerned about it for some reason, I had some misguided optimism that someone’s gotta have a VPN or do anything to try to upload the series on more accessible websites, but now the concern is growing bigger and bigger, but still let’s hope someone can still upload season 2 somewhere, I don’t want to see spoilers going around, even if I don’t follow a lot of Girls’ Frontline accounts which I should because sometimes I wouldn’t have ever found out about season 2.

Now I’m just seeing mostly stuff about Healing Chapter season 2, there’s one major question, should I expect Madness Chapter season 2 as well? As far as I know, there really hasn’t been any trailer for a potential season 2 or if it’s actually getting one at all, doesn’t seem like the series did well and I didn’t even care about it sometimes, which is great because Healing Chapter is far superior. But now that Madness Chapter may not get a second season, there’s also the question of what does M16′s Chinese VA mean by making the series “longer,” longer as in be a couple of minutes longer? Although 3-4 minutes is already a decent runtime, it’s not insanely short but I’m down if they’d make it at least a couple of minutes longer. Maybe making the series longer means that we can have a two-cour second season worth of Girls’ Frontline: Healing Chapter only? I would love for that to happen, but we’ll have to find out and see.

There are somethings I forgot to mention about Girls’ Frontline season 2, it’s aimed to be released on October 7th, which is surprisingly earlier than the first season’s release where it was late July. And October 7th being on Wednesday and I wish Girls’ Frontline season 2 would come out on my birthday, but oh well. I wonder if it’ll take about the same timeframe for the Japanese dub’s release, it came out on my birthday last year when the original Chinese dub came out in late July, so I might expect the Japanese dub of season 2 to come out in probably like Winter 2021 at best, we’ll see about that.

Even if I don’t religiously play Girls’ Frontline like I wanted to because I’m a big fan of guns, I wouldn’t mind playing Code Name Bakery, though. I may not fully understand the story in order but my Filipino friend would occasionally tell me spoilers and I don’t really mind that.

By the way, last year I made a shitpost video of Girls’ Frontline Healing Chapter but with Team Fortress 2 audio, now I finally made a new audio parody video but with a twist(ed metal)!

Osomatsu-san season 3 - October 12th: Just when I thought the future of the Osomatsu-san series would be over with the movie, but I’m glad my boys are still up and running! This is definitely gonna top Uzaki-chan as the better comedy of the year because Osomatsu-san has consitently given me a lot of laughs and delivers some really hilarious and bizarre moments.

Knowing that this is Osomatsu-san, wil it dare to even touch upon the topic of COVID-19 or something? There might be some scenes where the cast are doing a Zoom meeting, but they probably wouldn’t flat out say the name of the virus out loud, it’s very unlikely as I kinda find COVID-19 a somewhat sensitive topic and other media hasn’t or probably wouldn’t even try doing something about it.

Burn the Witch - October 2nd: I never really grew up nor care about Bleach, but I read the one-shot of Burn the Witch and I was intrigued by it, when the serialization was announced, I was excited because this series has potential, but there was a catch, this would be a short limited series for 4 chapters, so when I read the last chapter of the manga series, I was sad because the series has potential and it got wasted, but wait, it’s not entirely over yet, as this was only the “first season” and the manga series is getting a “second season.” Yeah, I have no idea how a manga having seasons even works, that doesn’t make sense.

Now here comes the film (or three-part episode series) and upon seeing the first trailer, I thought it would adapt the one-shot because that came out first, but as later trailers came out... It’s adapting the serialized series?! How long was this in the making?! How did the animators even get to read the four chapters of the serialized manga series before they were even released yet?!

Speaking of Bleach, there’s an upcoming new anime that’s adapting an arc, but like I said, I never grew up nor I care about Bleach, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Golden Kamuy season 3 - October 5th: Information on season 3 has been quite scarce for a while and hell, I have barely even watched the trailers, but at last it’s finally coming. As of the (re)writing of this post, September 29th, I finally managed to watch the OVAs and I forgot how hilarious and weird it can be and I love it.

Danmachi season 3 - October 2nd: Like Akudama Drive, this one was also originally gonna be released on Summer but was delayed because of COVID, I haven’t really talked about it more than I have with Akudama Drive because I’m the most excited for it.

Like Golden Kamuy, I happened to watch the recent OVA when season 2 ended and I haven’t seen the trailers at all. Man, I rarely watch OVAs nowadays. Also, speaking of the OVA, what did I just watch?!

D4DJ First Mix - October 30th: That’s right, this is ANOTHER Sanzigen produced anime of the year, Sanzigen has done it again, they’re absolutely killing this year. Anyways, I wanted to watch this for obvious reasons, but apparently I found out that this D4DJ franchise is a new property by Bushiroad, the publisher of the BanG Dream series, seems like Bushiroad has a soft spot for Sanzigen and I really can’t blame them.

Higurashi remake - October 1st: Starting the month off with a remake adaptation of Higurashi, lovely. I never grew up watching the original Higurashi anime, however, I do remember certain moments from the series... For the absolute worse. (1, 2). Yeah, that’s all I can remember. I really wish I could have binged the original series months ago, at least the first season because upon checking the Wikipedia, there’s a lot of other series and they’re just as long as the first one, there’s no way I would have survived all that binge-watching considering I have other things I’m heavily compromised such as my gacha gaming addiction, and yeah that was silly but I have nothing else to do in my spare time, with that being said about the binge-watching and consuming a lot of material, it would have been the time I binged all of Ikki Tousen for a week all over again.

I don’t know anything about the Higurashi visual novel, I don’t know if the original anime series was a good adaptation or not, I’ll probably let some VN royaltists tell me on this one, the 2000s were probably the time where VN adaptations were absolutely mediocre (which I can’t really say for sure because I don’t play VNs to even care to agree that the Tsukihime and Umineko anime are garbage), but I digress. If you couldn’t tell, the original Higurashi anime is that old, which I don’t understand why the need for an anime remake like at this time and what will it even do as an adaptation.

Watching the series is gonna be totally new to me, this isn’t like a Fruits Basket situation where I refused to watch the original anime series in favor of the remake, and by seeing some comparison videos, the remake is a million times far superior than the remake.

Guraburu! - October 8th: I don’t want to consider my older sister as my personal go-to Granblue Fantasy/Shadowverse/Bahamut source since whatever she says are her opinions and whatever which I wouldn’t always end up agreeing, even if she ends up saying that she hates the main Granblue Fantasy anime series. As for me, I found the first season decent, I liked the animation, but then the second season came and the animation is totally different and that gave me a huge sour taste in my mouth, just the visuals were enough to make me sick from the painful animation and I couldn’t care any single bit of it, and the fact that season 2 came out around the same time where other gacha game-based anime like Fate/Grand Order Babylonia and Azur Lane The Animation came out didn’t do any favors.

I don’t know if Girls’ Frontline or Granblue Fantasy are my blackest gacha game sheeps, I did have some decent experience with the game, I played the Christmas, the Persona 5 and the Detective Conan events (Though I didn’t finish the Conan event), I mostly opened the game for log ins but I occasionally went to do free rolls whenever those happened, lastly I played the campaign for a little bit but I stopped because the one chapter where I last played, I forgot what it was, but it required having a party with higher level and I couldn’t even beat a map once, so I gave up. I haven’t opened the game for a long time and I feel like I have pretty much retired from Granblue Fantasy. I wouldn’t like to try to follow my older sister in the shadows when it comes to Granblue Fantasy, Shadowverse or Rage of Bahamut any longer, so they’re totally out of my league.

My older sister seems rather optimistic about this series as it’s an adaptation of the game’s 4koma, going so far to say this would be “a million times better than the main anime series.”

Honestly I’m not feeling quite fond of these Cygames adaptations as a whole, they can be very hit or miss but the most important thing is whether they resonate with me or not, so I still end up watching everything anyways.

Also, we do not talk about the current Shadowverse anime because that is NOT the Shadowverse I know at all and I can’t believe it’s still going.

Attack on Titan: The Final Season - December 7th: Okay, I definitely did not expect quite a release date for the final season of Attack on Titan at all, it’s so weird that I even thought about whether or not I would classify this as a “Fall” anime and more like closer to the “Winter” season. I haven’t been following the news but my biggest question is, has the manga already ended? This wouldn’t be the final season if it wouldn’t adapt the entirety of the series finale as soon as the source material ended, kind of like Tokyo Ghoul:re.

Talentless Nana - October 4th: I already mentioned above that this is my only decent choice of day 1 anime to watch on my birthday, I’m just putting it here again for the sake of having the list complete.

Toji no Miko - Tomoshibi - October 25th, November 29th: Back when I first watched Toji no Miko back in 2018 (Wow, I already feel old), I found the series okay, they also released a mobile game at the time which I was like “Okay.” But for some reason as time went on I kind of grow to develop a negative aftertaste for the series, like it’s not very appealing or whatever. Then the Mini Toji series came out last year and it added fuel to the fire on my uninterest on the Toji no Miko franchise as a whole with Mini Toji leaving me a huge sour taste in my mouth, it wasn’t even funny, sometimes it was but most of it wasn’t.

I don’t want to associate Yoshinori Shizuma’s art heavily with Kancolle, but I even went so far thinking that Toji no Miko would be the Kancolle of swords or even a female Touken Ranbu of sorts but not exactly like Touken Ranbu, but it does nothing to help to gain interest.

I don’t know why I kind of feel that way towards the franchise, and after the mobile game’s release, I later thought Toji no Miko would become a failed franchise, so where we at now? Well, Toji no Miko is getting an OVA, but it’s not just a single OVA, it’s actually a two-part OVA, lovely. There’s just something about the series that makes me think it’s bland, it’s nothing special and whatever. I do think Yoshinori Shizuma’s character designs are nice, not great or rule 34 worthy but they’re okay at best, and that’s about it.

Mini Toji introduced the characters from the mobile game into the anime scene, and now the new OVAs are heavily based on the mobile game, but honestly, I prefer the characters from the anime series a million times better than the ones from the game, they’re rather forgettable.

You probably want to tell me that if I feel somewhat pessimistic about Toji no Miko, I should boycott the OVA, I’d like to but part of me tells me that maybe I shouldn’t blindly be a dick about it, so I guess I should give Toji no Miko one last chance. I wrote the release date just in case, I’ll probably forget about it anyways except there will be something that’ll make me remind the Toji no Miko OVA parts 1 and 2 will come out soon or have come out depending on the time.

(Speaking of Touken Ranbu, when the hell are we gonna get the new Touken Ranbu Hanamaru project? I recently read the news of the new Hanamaru project being in the works again to refresh my memory the last time I saw the news and it was from THIS JANUARY?! Holy crap, that was a really long time ago! I really hope this would resurface in 2021 and it might bring some interest in Touken Ranbu again, although this is Touken Ranbu and the fanbase are hardcore fujos so they’re still keeping the game alive in some way. I always thought the Touken Ranbu anime would now become dormant for some reason, especially when Ufotable is never gonna release the Katsugeki Touken Ranbu movie, they definitely must have ditched it in favor of more Fate and even Kimetsu no Yaiba. The Katsugeki Touken Ranbu film now is sitting next to Girls’ Work as Ufotable’s most infamous vaporware works.)

I guess that’s it for this post, I talked way too much about some of my most anticipated shows than others but it’s clear I do give a lot of thought into some of these things.

Anyways, I’ll see you later and don’t forget about my birthday!

Hajime Komaeda/XtremeDespair3D - Carrd.

If you want to do birthday donations: Here.

[sylvan-library-blog]

Dissenter

By @magus-of-the-color-pie and @pandoraeve

     Arel flinched as the invocation tugged at her mind. She set her bowl of soup on the cold floor and sat against the little cave’s wall. Taking a deep breath, she entered the trance.

     The Wide Whisper. Not a place, but a feeling. The feeling of interconnectivity. Arel could not see the other shamans, but she could sense them. It seemed as though they were all huddled together in a dark room.

     “My brothers and sisters.” The voice came from everywhere at once but, at the same time, from nowhere. Arel recognized the speaker instantly: Chianul, Who Whispers Twice. Her fifty year-old teacher was the advisor of the Temur Khan, Surrak Dragonclaw. “I have called you to relay some crucial information,” he continued. Arel could sense the other shamans’ tension.

     “As I meditated, I discovered a weak point,” Chianul announced.

     “A weak point, Brother?” Sakta, a younger shaman, asked.

     “Yes. A weak point in multiple nows.”

     Several voices rose at once to express concern.

     “Quiet, please. I shall explain,” Chianul murmured. Silence fell over the link.

     “Many nows are coming closer together,” he stated, “to the point where our now may be in danger of shifting. We have all seen glimpses of other realities: nows where the Temur are no longer at war with other clans, but also nows where the Temur… no longer exist. The nows that risk shifting our world whisper of a Tarkir where the dragons of old never fell, but instead rose to power and conquered everything. Even our clan. I have seen our people decimated, subjected to the will of the heartless beasts.”

     Arel felt the uneasiness rise as the shamans hung from Chianul’s every word.

     “A dangerous moment is approaching. However, the solution has been revealed to me. Vol has returned to Tarkir, and he-” a cacophony of gasps and overlapping sentences interrupted the old man.

     “How is that possible?” one of the shamans shouted.

     “Didn't he die?” another one asked.

     “Who's that?” a third one, younger than the first, wondered.

     “Vol,” Chianul repeated, hushing the others, “is the key to healing the nows. Fortunately, the weak point has been revealed to me: it is at the Spirit Dragon’s domain.”

     “Twice-Whisperer, what are you suggesting?” a particularly bold shaman asked.

     “My vision was crystal clear: we must conduct a whisper ritual with Vol. The harsh winter isn't over yet, but I ask that any and all of you who can get there do so. We will meet at its entrance in a few days. Make haste.”

      Before Arel could say anything, the Whisper ended.

       The young woman slowly opened her amber eyes, giving them time to adjust to the light.

     She let her gaze wander across the cave; it had just enough space to house a few extra people. The entrance was only wide enough for two people, but it was much taller than Arel. The warm light of sunrise crept in from it, irradiating the otherwise dim room with a few distinct rays that caressed its cold surface. A few panels of stone that had been fashioned into shelves protruded from the walls; a variety of trinkets, hides and utensils rested upon them. Next to Arel, opposite the cave’s exit, lay a makeshift cot comprised mostly of animal fur.

      Being the den of a Temur shaman, there was one more essential detail: scores of drawings and runes covered the walls, illustrating key moments in Arel’s life and her visions. As she gulped down the rest of her soup, she let her eyes linger on her earliest work; it was quite different from the rest, as she'd drawn it before she became a shaman.

      A vision. She was inside the same cave, years earlier. The rocky pavement was covered in hide, and the walls were clean. Towards the back of it, a little girl sat quietly on the floor, facing the wall. A man sat nearby, a large, rectangular section of cloth on his outstretched legs. He was bald, clean shaven, skinny and wearing fur pants and a mantle. His brown eyes spoke of nights spent lying awake, but his movements were precise, if interrupted by the occasional cough. Next to him were a few small bowls filled with pastes of different colors. He dipped his fingers in one of them and traced them across the cloth in a curve. Then he checked his handiwork; the Temur banner to-be was coming along nicely.

      The sound of heavy footsteps came from just outside the cave, and a woman appeared at its entrance. She was tall and muscular, with long black hair, a prominent nose, amber eyes and dark skin protected by fur clothing. She was carrying several layers of hide in one hand and was holding the hand of a little kid in the other one.

      “Tanaja, Sangye!” the man called as he set the cloth aside and got up to meet thems.

      “We’re back!” she called with a hearty, almost sing-song laugh. The man leapt at Tanaja and the two embraced.

      “How was the hunt, dear?” he asked, gently freeing himself from her powerful clutches.

      Tanaya effortlessly cracked her knuckles. “Not bad, Aigrec,” she replied with a grin.

      Someone tugged at Aigrec’s fur pants. He looked down to see Sangye, his younger child, staring back at him with big brown eyes.

      “Hey, buddy! How was your morning with your friends?” Aigrec asked, crouching and ruffling the kid’s hair.

      “Mmmh, it was ok…” Sangye answered distractedly, tilting his head. “Papa, can I paint too?” he added, looking back up at his parents.

      Tanaja crouched down as well: “Sweetie, Papa needs the paint to make lots and lots of banners for the clan, but…” she glanced at Aigrec.

      “I will leave you a little bit of paint to use outside when I’m done, how’s that?” he asked.

      “But Papa!” Sangye whined, clenching his fists, “I want to paint inside like Arel!”

      Aigrec stared at his son, puzzled: “Arel doesn’t-”

      “Arel!” Tanaja shouted, standing up. “What are you doing, you little goblin?”

      Everyone turned to Arel, who was holding a bowl in her left hand and frantically tracing her right hand across the wall, painting a stylized figure.

      Tanaja strode over to her daughter and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Arel? What-”

      “Look, Mama! I’m painting like a shaman!” the girl giggled, setting down the bowl and admiring her handiwork.

      Tanaja looked at the painting: it depicted a human wearing a lot of fur, with two antlers attached to their head and a few trinkets dangling from their hood, in front of their face. Her eyes widened. Whisperer, she mouthed.

      Aigrec had walked over as well, lightly holding Sangye’s hand in his left and coughing into his right. “Arel, please don’t use those again without asking, ok, little doe?”

      The artist’s expression turned droopy. “Sorry, Papa.”

      “It’s alright,” he said, patting her on the head. He turned to the wall. “Now, can you tell us who this is?”

      Arel puffed out her chest and planted her fists on her hips in a moment of pride, like her mother often did. “It’s me!”

      Tanaja looked at her daughter, overflowing with love the way only a parent can. “But Arel, dear, you don’t have horns.”

      Arel seemed to deflate a little. “I know, but, but… I saw myself like that! And when shamans see stuff they paint it, right?” she tried.

      “You mean, when you were dreaming tonight?” Aigrec tried.

      “No, Papa, right now! I was high up in the mountains and there was ice everywhere and there were tall trees and I was dressed like this! I saw it, I saw it!” Arel chortled.

      “I wanna see too, Papa!” Sangye interjected.

      Tanaja looked at Aigrec. “I’ll get Chianul.” Aigrec sitfled a cough, nodded, and Tanaja sprinted out of the cave.

     The stylized woman smiled back at Arel, her posture curved by the weight of the antlers that rested upon her head. That was the day she’d embarked on the journey to become a shaman.

     Arel set down her empty bowl and stood up before donning a large headpiece, the symbol of her craft. Large antlers were affixed to the back, and her face was hidden by a dozen trinkets hanging from the front.

     She took in a slow, deep breath. Chianul said he’d rendezvous with other shamans in a few days. That meant departing immediately, but the life-threatening winter season was still ongoing. She had to find him, ask him to reconsider. It didn’t matter whether it’d be due to cold, wildlife, or enemy forces. She couldn’t bear the thought of Chianul disappearing like Aigrec, Sangye and Tanaja had, in the winter’s frigid embrace.

    Arel made her way towards the cave’s opening and exited into the chilly morning. Positioned near the very entrance of Karakyk Valley, Arel’s abode offered a breathtaking view of the entire encampment. She paused, taking in the fresh air and the beauty of the Temur’s permanent winter residence; the Valley looked as though a large section of the mountain’s side had been scooped away by a fussy god, resulting in a vast, circular glacier-carved valley facing away from the winter winds and with a massive overhanging lip that protected the clan from snowfall.

    Arel made her way towards a cave positioned near the center, where Chianul resided. It was early in the morning, yet there were already groups of people sitting around fires, having breakfast communally, the way the Temur did. Well, those of the Temur who weren’t shamans. Arel walked in a straight line, ignoring them.

    The cave Chianul slept in was fairly large, but it was quite modest compared to that of First Father Surrak, right beside it. The entrance to the khan’s abode stood taller than two grown men and was wide enough to let a dozen people in at a time. As for the inside, Arel could only guess, as many large hides hung from the arc, blocking it from view.

    The entrance to Chianul’s abode, on the other hand, was a lot narrower and a bit shorter, and had many trinkets dangling in front of it instead of hides.

    Arel arrived at the cave just as Chianul exited it. The shamans paused a few feet away from each other. Arel observed him carefully. He was the oldest man she’d ever met. Fifty years old was an exceptional age, for a Temur. She knew it wasn’t unusual for people of other clans to live far beyond that age, but that hardly mattered: they wouldn’t have survived half of those years had they been exposed to the same hardships the Temur faced.

    Chianul’s posture was hunched over by the weight of the talismans he'd carried over the years. His expression was fully obscured by them, but Arel knew that hidden behind the trinkets was the hardened face of a man wise beyond his years, with two bright blue eyes, short dark hair and a grizzled stubble.

    The man seemed to ponder his words. She offered none.

    “Arel,” he finally spoke, a delicate tone in his deep voice, “I trust you slept well?”

    “Marvelously,” she exaggerated. “You know why I'm here, Twice-Whisperer Chianul.”

    He sighed. “Yes, thank you, how about you?” he intoned in a high-pitched voice.

    Arel’s eyes narrowed. Chianul’s unusual reluctance to go straight to the point spoke a lot about his intentions.

    Chianul straightened himself up. “Arel, you're not going. The journey is too long from Karakyk Valley, it's too risky,” he told her.

    “Oh, I know I'm not,” she replied. She paused, giving him a brief moment to find the catch. Crossing her arms, she sternly added: “And neither are you.”

    Arel imagined Chianul’s eyes briefly widening in surprise before returning to their regular, semi-closed state.

    “I must. I have to find Sarkhan and lead the ritual,” he said.

    “I'm sorry, I thought you said it was too risky,” she replied coolly.

    “My presence is essential, Arel. Yours isn't. And I'm more likely to survive than you are,” he reminded her.

    She snorted. “So a one in a million chance instead of zero?”

    “There is a chance, therefore I must go. It is my duty,” he concluded, walking towards the center of the valley.

    Arel stepped in front of him and he stopped. He was taller than her, despite his posture.

    “I'm not going to let you go off and die,” she growled, gritting her teeth.

    Chianul gazed down at her. “You don't get to decide what I do,” he mumbled.

    Arel looked up. “Chianul, please. The winter season is almost over… can't you wait a few days? I'm begging you!”

    “Time is of the essence. The weak point is spreading, and if we do not react immediately it could lead to serious overlap between the nows. And that's the last thing we want to happen.”

     “The last thing I want to happen is for you to die!” she shouted. Several heads turned in their direction.

    “Arel, this isn’t-”

    “Shamans!” a voice boomed a few feet away.

    Arel turned to find herself staring at none other than the Surrak Dragonclaw himself. He was an intimidating man, the proof of past battles etched into his weathered skin, of towering height such that most were at the eye level of the face of his bearskin cape. His long black hair rested on his wide shoulders, and his powerful arms were crossed, the bear paws strapped to his wrists amplifying his disdain.

      “What is going on here?” the khan demanded.

      Chianul took a tentative step forward. “Dragonclaw,” he began, “we were just-”

      “My khan!” Arel interjected, putting herself between the two. “The Twice-Whisperer intends to take off on his own with the winter season still ongoing! He would surely die!”

      The khan eyed the shamans sternly. After a moment of silence, Chianul cleared his throat and said, “Surrak, I…”

      “Chianul will go absolutely nowhere without my permission. Understood?” Surrak asked, rhetorically.

      The elder shaman gave a short nod. “Perfectly,” he replied, his tone of voice flat.

      Arel puffed up her chest in pride, her arms fists on her hips. “Absolutely, my khan,” she answered, doing little to hide her satisfaction.

      The First Father lifted his chin, peering at the two. “Excellent. Now, Shaman Arel, me and the Twice Whisperer have some important business to discuss. You are dismissed.”

      Arel nodded and moved out of the way. She watched the two men engage in hushed conversation as they walked towards the Dragonclaw’s cave, before disappearing behind the heavy hides. She stared for a few more moments, then turned and began to walk back towards her cave.

      Again she waded through the Temur families. This time many adults regarded her in curious silence, a silence made even more deafening by the occasional child’s laugh or squeal. Arel wanted to run, run away from all of them forever. She forced herself to keep marching as she ignored her surroundings.

      A man erupted in raucous laughter several feet behind her.

      Arel clenched her fists. The air around them warmed up instantly as they turned red. Still, she walked.

      Another laugh, this time a woman’s voice, came from a small group to her left.

      Arel took a deep breath and stopped, her eyes closed. For a few moments, the crackling of fire and the low buzz of friendly chatter were the only intruders in her peaceful world.

      Then someone’s hand fell on her shoulder.

      Startled, she pivoted around, her searing hands half-raised in a protective stance.

      The young man in front of her jolted back, arms raised. His blue eyes nervously jumped back and forth between Arel’s hands and the trinkets shadowing her face.

      Recognizing him, Arel lowered her arms and extinguished the spell. She gazed at him for a few moments, then muttered: “Tseten. I see you're going for shorter hair, now.” The two had known each other since childhood, as their families were in the same traveling group, but had lost touch with one another ever since Arel left to become a shaman.

      Or, more specifically, ever since her family had succumbed to the merciless winter.

      The short, tan man gulped. “A- Arel.”

      The shaman regarded him coolly: “What is it?” she asked, ignoring the silent onlookers.

      “I just, uh, saw you, you know…” he let his words trail off.

      “ Screaming?” she offered.

      “I was just... wondering if you were alright,” he said with an embarrassed smile.

      “Why?”

      “I… what?”

      Arel sharply exhaled from her nostrils, in what was her version of a sarcastic laugh. “Why do you care, Tseten?” she repeated.

      Tseten’s mouth opened and closed a few times, as if he were gasping for air. In the span of moments, several emotions crossed over his face.

      Amusing, Arel thought.

      Undeterred, the young man tried again, this time with an even more awkward smile: “Well, you know, we’re one big family, right? We care about each-”

      The words died in his throat as Arel’s right hand suddenly tightened around his neck.

      “You are not my family, Tseten,” Arel whispered, leaning in. “The only family I ever had was left to die,” she reminded him.

      “B- but…”

      “Shut up!” she yelled, keeping a firm grip on him. “Do you have any idea what it feels like? Do you?!”

      Arel let go, causing Tseten to fall backwards onto the floor. He looked up at her, terrified.

      “Because what I know is that I was taken away for years, from my home and from my family, to become a stupid shaman! And what happens while I’m gone? Turns out my parents were left to die in a cave, and you couldn’t even stop my little brother from running back to them! Does that sound like what a family would do? Does it?!” she shouted.

      Tseten breathed heavily. He looked around for help from the onlookers, but no one moved. “We- we left them with supplies, and, and, they were supposed to only stop for a day or two… your father’s condition had gotten worse, he would’ve slowed us d-”

      “You think you’re the first one to tell me that? You think that’s a valid excuse?!” Arel interrupted him.

      “I-”

      “No, you know what? Don’t even answer that question,” she spat. “Your “family” let a sick man and his wife behind so you could gain a little extra time. You knew there was no way that Tanaja would’ve managed to bring Aigrec here alone, but that didn’t stop you from lying to yourselves! And you let an eight year old die as well! A little kid! What is wrong with you?!”

      “We didn’t expect Sangye to sneak a-” Tseten tried.

      “You really thought he was just going to let his parents die like that? Even an eight year old saw through your lies!”

      “I- I was just a little kid at the time!” he said, panting.

      The shaman paused, lifting her chin in defiance. She let the entirety of the scene sink in. Tseten on the floor, scared senseless. Dozens, possibly a hundred or so, of quiet onlookers, human, ainok, and a few orcs, who had gotten close enough to witness the scene but far enough to have a running start, just in case. She gazed intently at them: most of them appeared cautious, yet intrigued. Some were afraid. Others seemed ready to step in should things degenerate.

      None of them appeared to have a single ounce of compassion.

      Not that she expected anyone to, after all those years.

      “Yes. Back then, you were,” she finally said, breaking the silence. She looked down at him. “So why do you still act like one now?”

      Tseten eyes widened: “But-”

      “When something bad happens to a member of the family,” Arel recited in a monotone voice, “the others will be there for them. Is that not what we were all taught when we were little?” she asked.

      Again, Tseten’s imitation of a fish out of water was striking.

      “Well then. Where were you, after it happened?” she pressed. She lifted her head to look at all the Temur gathered around them. “Where were all of you, when I came back?”

      Silence. Of course.

      “Chianul told me me they’d died while I was still in training,” she said. “When I finally returned, I was excited. I wanted to see some of my friends again, I wanted to see familiar faces around me. But what did I find? Nothing!” she yelled. The words poured out of her throat faster than she could realize what she was saying. “Because shamans are different, right? We don’t have emotions or anything like that! Who cares if the girl’s parents and brother died, shamans live on their own all year anyways!”

      “Arel, I- I didn’t… I’m sorry that-”

      “You’re sorry?” she cut him off. “Do you know how many times I’ve called upon the spirits of my family just to hear a friendly voice, the voice of someone who didn’t view me as a dangerous outcast?!” she yelled, tears welling up in her eyes. “That’s the only thing I am to you all, anyways! I’m a tool, a tool for the Temur to exploit as they see fit in this endless battle for clan supremacy!”

      Arel stopped, breathing heavily. She could barely believe herself. All those feelings she’d hopelessly tried to suffocate for years, attempting to deny them to even herself, had now been laid out bare for everyone to see. She shook, fervently fighting back tears.

      “What is going on here?” a deep female voice asked.

      Arel lifted her head to see the Hunt Caller, Nitula, make her way through the crowd, stopping in front of the two childhood friends.

      Nitula was bulkier than she was tall, but even then Arel was stood a little below her. Her beady eyes were rivaled in darkness only by her long, raven hair. Her fame, together with her precise movements and impressive muscles, made her quite intimidating.

      “Shaman, what is the meaning of this?” Nitula demanded sternly.

      Arel’s eyes narrowed. She’d had enough of this. “Nothing, Hunt Caller. I will be taking my leave now,” she replied.

      She turned and marched back to her cave. The men and women standing in front of her fell over themselves getting out of the way. She ignored them and didn’t look back until she reached the entrance. By that time, only Tseten and Nitula were still in place, one on the floor and the other with a hand on her hip, looking at her. Everyone else had scattered.

     The night sky began to fade as dawn fast approached. Everything in Karakyk Valley lay still, except for the shimmering aurora: the colored streaks of light continued their dance, refusing to abandon the sky. A little off its entrance, among the trees that spotted the mountain’s side, a cloaked figure marched, leaving the Temur stronghold behind.

    Chianul walked, curved over as usual, his padded boots gliding on the snow beneath him. The air was chilly, but he felt no cold. His trinkets silently dangled in front of him as he marched.

    He looked back once more at the Valley. He hated betraying Arel’s trust, but he had no choice. If he failed his mission, terrible things would befall the Temur. He had to try.

    Suddenly, he stopped. A few moments of complete stillness went by. Then, with a sigh, he spoke: “I see you do not trust me as much I thought.”

    A few more seconds, and Arel emerged from the near darkness in front of him. “Oh, I do trust you,” she said with a tight smile, “but I also know you very well.”

    “My duty as the One who Whispers Twice-” he began.

    “I know, I know,” Arel replied softly. “But I cannot allow you to die like this. You are the only family I have left.”

    “I heard about your... discussion with Tseten yesterday,” he replied.

    “What about it?”

    Chianul sighed. “Arel, we shamans aren’t being used as tools by the Temur, we are a part of them. We have a different role, true, but that doesn’t mean-”

    “I’ve never been treated as a part of them. I’m just returning the favor,” she whispered.

    The man sighed. His student was an exceptional case. Shamans usually had their immediate family to balance out their sudden change of status, and then slowly transitioned to becoming more solitary in their later years. On the other hand, when a Temur child became orphaned, another family would usually adopt it. Neither of these had come to fruition in her case.

    “Forgive me, but my duty is to the clan,” he stated. The words pained them both.

    “You’ve made your choice,” she murmured, assuming a combat stance, her arms collected in front of her in preparation, “and I’ve made mine. I’m not letting you go anywhere until winter is over.”

    Chianul slowly straightened himself, mimicking her stance. “I will do my best to prevent serious harm to befall you, student,” he said coolly.

    Arel grinned: “I will do much the same, master.”

    The two stood still, eyeing each other. For a moment, everything paused. Nature itself seemed to fall silent, anticipating the fight.

    The sound of a drop of water would’ve been deafening.

    Then Arel pounced. She reached Chianul and struck with her right hand, aiming for his neck.

    Chianul ducked and punched towards her stomach.

    She spiraled away from his fist, feeling the air move right beside her, and kicked towards his face.

    He fell backwards, dodging the blow, and kicked her grounded leg.

    The kick connected and Arel grunted as she lost her balance and fell into a sloppy roll, the frigid snow sending shivers down her spine.

    Chianul was upon her as soon as she got on her feet, striking at the base of her neck.

    Arel barely batted his lightning-fast attack to the side with her forearm, then jumped back to avoid a second punch.

    Again, he gave her no time to recover. Arel cursed as she nearly dodged two more of her teacher’s attacks.

    Third time was the charm, though.

    The impact took the wind out of her as Chianul’s leg connected with her side.

    Grinding her teeth, Arel let herself fall with her back to the icy floor.

    As he rushed in to deliver the next blow, she pivoted and desperately kicked his legs aside.

    The man fell next to her, his hand passing right by Arel’s neck. She felt the cold air on her cheeks.

    Arel hurriedly scampered up and away from him through the snow, preparing for his next attack.

    As Chianul got up, she took a moment to assess the situation.

    Her main takeaway was that she was in trouble.

     The two shamans stared at each other, evaluating their next move. Chianul was much faster than she remembered. He was old, but his age didn’t seem to impede him in any way. There goes my advantage, she moaned. She���d thought her youth would’ve helped her outpace the old man, but such was not the case.

    She peered at Chianul. His shielded face betrayed no emotion. It was impossible to estimate the amount of time he would’ve been able to keep fighting; outlasting him was also not an option.

    On the other hand, he had experience. A lot of experience.

    Arel frowned. She had no natural advantage, it seemed. The only way to win was to create one, somehow.

    As the two circled around each other in the snow, an idea flared into her mind. She had to up the stakes, hoping Chianul wouldn’t follow.

    As she focused her energy, she hoped she was making the right choice. After all, if he beat her and left, he’d die no matter what. There was no lowering his chances of survival. It didn’t matter if he was injured or not. Arel had to win: anything but his death was a viable option.

    “I’m not letting you die that easily,” she breathed as a hot, red light encompassed her hands, extending beyond her fingers and turning into fiery claws. The snow around her began to melt.

    Arel lunged before he could react, striking at his sides.

    Chianul leapt back and she clawed the air, but she pressed forward.

    He dodged a series of her attacks, but seemed reluctant to counterattack. If he made a single misstep, her ardent claws would’ve found their target.

    Arel kept attacking, striking over and over again, forcing him to retreat into heavier snow. She grinned as she nearly hit him. Fire was indeed a powerful tool.

    As the two danced knee-feet in snow, her strike finally grazed its target.

    Chianul grunted as she raked her fiery claw across his chest, recoiling from the burn.

    Arel grinned again. She could win this.

    As she moved in to strike again, he suddenly leapt to the floor and rolled, ending up a few feet behind her.

    No! she thought, pivoting towards him after her failed attack.

    Chianul faced her, his arms outstretched towards the ground in front of her, his palms glowing with blue swirls of energy.

    Before Arel could pounce, she felt a sudden chill grip her legs. She looked down to see the snow rapidly coalescing into ice and covering her.

    Realization dawned on her: he’d lured her into the heavier snow so he could trap her with ease.

    Arel tried to repel the ice with her magic, but Chianul had too strong a grip on it. And once she was fully immobilized, he’d move in to knock her out.

     As she tried to slow down the ice, sweat droplets began to form on her forehead; she wouldn’t be able to deal with him once the ice took place. She had to stop it.

    Or stop him.

    There was no time to think, the ice was taking hold of her body. Arel let go and focused on the heat radiating from her hands, channeling her energy into it.

    The red light separated from her hands, gaining enough heat and volume to coalesce into large claws made out of near-magmatic material. Steam began to rise from the ice all around her.

     As the ice took hold of her upper body, Arel yelled in defiance and threw her arms forward.

    The blazing claws lunged at her teacher, leaving a trail of black smoke behind them. Chianul jumped back, startled by the sudden attack, and the blue energy left his palms.

    Yes! Arel thought as she felt the ice stop abruptly at her upper torso.

    Then he moved his hands in a circle, and pain streaked through her mind. The claws seemed to slow in their flight towards him.

    Arel grunted in pain: he was trying to take over the spell!

    She increased her focus, visualizing the claws hitting her teacher squarely in the chest, but the searing ache in her head made it harder and harder to concentrate.

    Chianul stood motionless, his hands outstretched in a spiral towards the claws.

    Arel breathed heavily, irregularly, as her body twitched. The veins in her hands and head bulged as the pain steadily increased. Never before had she fought for control of her own spell.

    The effort became too much to bear. Arel screamed in desperation.

    Then lost her grip.

    The claws darted at Chianul, but veered to the side just before smashing into him.

    To Arel’s horror, they circled back at her.

     She saw the torrent of fire lunge at her and instinctively raised a wall of solid ice.

    The wall turned a bright shade of pink, and hot.

    Two bright streaks of red burst through it, shattering her defenses.

    The stream of fire crashed into her, annihilating the ice in its path.

    There was a bright flash of red and a twinge of maddening pain.

    Then everything went dark.

     Arel awoke with a start. She was in a dim cave, laying on something warm and soft.

    She tried to sit up and immediately regretted it. With a whimper, she lay back down, her body screaming in protest.

    “How are you feeling?” a deep, rumbling voice asked.

    She turned her head to the side to see Surrak sitting cross-legged on a bear skin a few feet away. Looking around, Arel recognized her cave, albeit with a few improvements.

    “Dragonclaw… what…?” she tried to ask.

    “We found you at the valley’s entrance,” he explained. “You had some serious burns on you, but it appears Chianul healed you, somewhat.”

    “Oh,” she mouthed. Arel tried to remember what had happened. She’d tried to stop Chianul from leaving, and then…

    “Is he…” she started.

    “He left,” was the dry answer.

    Arel licked her lips. “Of course,” she sighed, briefly clenching her fist.

    Then she remembered the conversation they’d had. Surrak was known to be merciless to those who betrayed him. He wouldn’t have…?

    “My khan,” she mumbled, “please forgive the One who Whispers Twice from disobeying you, he-”

    “He did not disobey me,” he sentenced.

    Arel searched his expressionless face for an explanation, but found none. “What?” she finally asked. “But you said-”

    “I said he’d go nowhere without my permission,” Surrak reminded her.

    Arel’s mouth hung agape for a few moments as she processed the information.

    As she understood, her expression turned to disbelief, then anger, then again the same two as she made a new attempt to sit up and failed. Impotent, she clenched her fists and ground her teeth. “You let him?” she shrieked.

    Surrak nodded.

    Arel’s nails dug into her palms. “You… let him go off and die… how, how could you, he-” she stuttered as tears welled up in her eyes.

    “Do you want to know why I let him go, Arel?” he asked.

    She nodded.

    “Chianul is a grown man. He may be old, but he is wise and powerful. He is the One who Whispers Twice, a title that commands respect and trust. But more than that, he is a Temur, a member of our family. And he has been my friend for many years. Not to mention he's technically my elder. I trust him to know what he’s doing.” He peered at Arel. “Why can’t you?”

    “The Temur Winter has never shown mercy to anyone.” Arel snarled. “Chianul is going on a suicide mission out of his sense of duty, and he knows it.”

    “If there is any one man that can survive winter in the wilderness,” Surrak countered, “that man is Chianul.”

    Arel’s brows furrowed. “But-”

    “Your family was a different story, Arel. Your father was weak and-”

    Arel’s blood boiled. “Seven years,” she whispered.

    “What?”

    “I have waited seven years for you to say something about my family, Dragonclaw. A minute of discussion. A word of condolences. Anything. Anything to show that you care about the members of your so-called family, the Temur. And the first thing you say in seven years is that my father was weak?” she asked, hatred oozing from her every word.

    For the first time, Surrak betrayed a hint of emotion. Guilt, perhaps? Or simple confusion? “I-” he tried to say.

    “My father may have been weak of body, Surrak,” she growled, “but he was a greater man in spirit than you will ever be!”

    Surrak suddenly stood, glaring down at her.

    Silence fell over the room. The two stared at each other, motionless.

    “I am willing to forget you spoke to your khan this way, shaman,” Surrak finally spat.

    “Suit yourself,” Arel snapped. “I will never forget your actions, or lack thereof, First Father.”

    Surrak lifted his chin. “You are ill. We will talk again once you’re better. I’ve assigned Tseten to look over you.”

    Arel snorted as Surrak made his way to the door.

    Before exiting, he turned back to look at her. “And if you think you can leave and chase after Chianul, you are grossly mistaken. You’re being watched. Besides, you’re not going anywhere in your present state.”

    “I noticed,” she sighed, struggling to face him.

    Then he was gone, and Arel was left alone with her thoughts.

     The Wide Whisper tugged at her mind. Arel threw her food on the floor and, with a grunt, sat against the wall, then delved into the link.

    “My brothers and sisters,” Chianul’s voice began.

    “Chianul!” Arel shouted, aghast. “You’re alive!”

    There was a short chuckle. “I am, I am. Sorry, Arel. I did what I had to.”

    Arel was too startled to reply, so Chianul continued. “We’ll talk later. The situation is urgent!” he said frantically.

    Many voices rose, some calm, many others much less so. Chianul silenced them.

    “I’ve arrived at the Spirit Dragon’s domain, but Vol has vanished!” he explained. “The weak moment is getting stronger by the second! We must immediately conduct a Whisper ritual to stop this. I will lead you. Ready?”

    “Ready, Twice-Whisperer!” came the reply.

    “R- ready,” Arel mumbled.

    “Very well. Now, gather your energy and-”

    The command was lost among a sudden cacophony of unfamiliar voices, some high, some low, some quiet, many yelling, all of them incomprehensible.

    “Wh- What is happening?” Arel overheard Sakta yell, her voice barely discernible in the chaos.

    As the voices overwhelmed her, Arel felt a weird sensation: it was as if she was floating upward, despite the lack of a physical body in the Wide Whisper.

    “What the- Chianul!” she yelled as the noise rose to deafening levels and she was propelled upward into infinity.

    Then everything vanished.

     Arel’s eyes flew open as she gasped for breath. The silent cavern she called home greeted her gaze and she let it wander, taking slow breaths.

    She’d never quite gotten used to the size of it; in comparison, the cave her family had resided in in Karakyk Valley was like a rabbit’s home.

    At least, that was the case her vision suggested; it had been many years since Arel had last seen that cave. It was unsettling to think that, in a different now, she still resided in it.

    In a now where dragons didn’t exist. In a now where Chianul was alive.

    As her breathing stabilized, Arel felt the ripple caused by the weak point vanish.

    It had been a powerful pulse, unlike any she’d sensed before. And yet, it was clear to her that it was only an echo of the original weak point. There was no risk of it upending the current now. There was no going back.

    Arel slowly stood up and made her way towards the wall on her left. On it were makeshift wooden shelves with dozens of tiny objects upon them: horns, pieces of bark, claws… and all of them had intricate carvings on them. At the thought of painting on a wall instead of using scrimshaws, Arel’s lips curled into a timid smile. As she reached for an uncarved dragon tooth, her gaze lingered on the carving she’d made the day after she’d escaped the Atarka.

    The day after her mother and Chianul had died.

    A knot formed in her throat. Her mother had always been a brave warrior. Falling in a fight against dragons seemed like a fitting end for her. Especially since they were Atarka dragons. The day Atarka killed Aigrec, Tanaja had sworn never-ending hatred towards her.

    Arel rustled through her pouch for her knife. Her mother hadn’t even known that, in another Tarkir, Sangye existed. She missed her little brother. In this now, she could not even commune with his spirit. He was truly gone, forever.

    She sat back down, her legs crossed. As she began to carve the way Chianul had taught her, she thought of the old man’s sacrifice. He’d claimed to have seen great potential in her, and risked everything to teach her. When they were found out and had to escape with Tanaja’s help, he gave his life to save hers.

    Arel’s vision went blurry as she recalled the night of their escape: the two of them running desperately through the forest as scores of trees burned all around. The Atarka dragons weren’t particularly bright or good at following tracks, but they had someone else do that for them. Surrak, the Hunt Caller. It was only due to Chianul’s magic and self-sacrifice that she’d escaped the inferno.

    She finished carving Surrak Dragonclaw on the tooth and looked it over. In this now, he’d sworn loyalty to strength, abandoning those who needed it the most. She’d never believed he was the right man to lead the clan, anyways.

    Arel reached for a small, smooth horn. Luckily, the current Twice Whisperer was Sakta. The young shaman, like many others, helped hunt down game for Atarka, but she used the Wide Whisper to communicate with the Dissenters, too--a handful of shamans who, like Arel, preferred to hide their existence from the Atarka completely.

    Arel finished carving the Temur encampment at Karakyk Valley and sat motionless, thinking about her vision. As Chianul’s spirit had hinted when he told her to look for a weak point, it had been the longest and most detailed vision of the other Tarkir she’d ever had.

    It wasn’t what she’d hoped for.

    For years Arel had thought that, without the dragonlords, the five clans would eventually reach some sort of agreement, and an era of peace would be ushered in. Now she had proof that wasn’t the case. Incredibly, after a full thousand years since the death of all dragons, the clans continued their conflict. Who knew how many lives had been lost? And to achieve what?

    She felt dizzy. In her now, things were even worse. The dragons’ oppressive rule exacerbated the misery of the humanoid species of all clans, and everyone was still at war. Sure, being a humanoid in the Dromoka was not as nightmarish as being in the Silumgar, but you still were always at risk of being eaten.

    With a start, Arel realized that if she hadn’t slowed Chianul down in the other now, he might’ve reached Sarkhan in time. She clenched her teeth. This was all her fault.

    She reached for another item to carve, but grasped only air. She’d ran out. She sighed. It had been a while since she last gathered some. She needed some fresh air, anyways.

    Shrugging off the unpleasant thoughts, she stood back up and discreetly stumbled toward the exit. She paused to don her shamanic headpiece, then stepped out of the cave.

     Arel walked uphill, the scarce amount of vegetation and animal life a constant reminder of Atarka’s presence. Her boots crunched the volcanic soil at every step, despite her shamanic agility.

    She rapped her fingers against her wool pants, deep in thought as she walked. She'd hoped to receive guidance through her vision, to find a way for the clans to reach some sort of peace… but she'd only found more war.

    Now she was left with a puzzle even more complex than before.

    Deep in thought, Arel barely realized she'd arrived at the summit of the Qal Sisma mountain she resided in: a vast, flat stretch of black volcanic soil dotted with magmatic puddles and lakes.

    She strode towards the biggest one, the rivulets of steam emerging from the lava creating intricate patterns in the air.

    She knelt in front of the boiling lake and closed her eyes. She needed to think.

    She steadied her breathing, focusing on the heat waves caressing her skin. Remembering Chianul’s advice on solving puzzles, she began to ask herself questions. First: what were her goals?

    To end the conflict between clans and the draconic oppression of humanoids throughout Tarkir, she thought.

    What would it take to achieve that?

    The clans would have to agree on a truce or a peace deal, or be forced to. The dragons would have to agree to end their own rule or be forced to, she replied.

    How does one make that happen? came the crucial question.

    Arel hesitated before answering. To agree to a peace, the clans need to see the need for one. Either they find a common goal to work towards, or they deem the conflict unsustainable.

    The second option was far from likely, however: the clans had been at war for hundreds, possibly thousands of years, and unless even larger swaths of humanoids were wiped out, they wouldn't have to stop.

    Arel quickly discarded the possibility of enacting human genocide.

    As for the dragons, she continued, they all agree with the current treatment of humanoids, so they need to be forced. But given their merciless quelling of dissent, it would take a mass insurgency to-

    Arel blinked.

    A mass insurgency throughout the clans.

    A coordinated effort.

    A common goal.

    An impish grin made its way through her lips. Of course! The answer was in the question, as some Ojutai monk might've said.

    Arel stood up, shaking with excitement. The solution appeared simpler by the second. How had she not thought of it immediately? Humans, aven, orcs, ainok, djinn, efreet, even naga, ogres and goblins all throughout tarkir shared one trait: they were at the whims of their dragon overlords.

    The path forward was clear: find trustworthy allies throughout the five clans, prepare the population for the coup, overthrow the dragonlords and establish a new clan leadership based on cooperation between the clans.

    Arel exhaled, realising she'd been holding her breath. It would not be easy to accomplish her goals; she'd have to be extremely careful at every step of the way, starting from her search for allies. But she owed her family an attempt, at the very least.

    No, she thought, lifting her chin. I won't fail. I can't fail. I refuse to fail.

    Arel realized her current now gave her a small advantage she hadn't thought of: not only were the dragons the solution to the problem, but she was now unfettered from any loyalty to her old clan. She wasn't a tool anymore, she was free.

    And I will put my freedom to good use, she thought, jubilant.

    A powerful roar interrupted her train of thought. Arel looked to her right to see a dragon in the distance, its massive, scaly wings carrying it straight towards her. It had a green, bulky frame, bright red antlers, and a muscular tail. One of Atarka’s brood, undeniably.

     She pivoted towards it and stood her ground. The dragon must've had poor luck locating a snack, or it wouldn't have gone for a small human. In typical Atarka fashion, it wanted to inspire terror through its bulk and strength. It expected her to panic and run away screaming.

    What it didn't expect was for her to fight back.

    As it approached, she placed her hands together and gathered her mana, causing the tendrils of smoke to swirl and dance all around her. Arel kept her eyes on the dragon. There it was, the enemy. The lord of all of Tarkir. Ojutai dogma stated that, the same way an ant is insignificant and harmless to a human, a human is insignificant and harmless to a dragon.

    Let's see how harmless I really am, Arel thought with a grin as the dragon roared again, shaking the earth.

    As the mighty beast dove towards her, it opened its jaws and spewed a torrent of bright fire down at her. She dove to avoid it. The jet crashed against where she had been standing and charred the ground. The flames engulfed the area, scorching the ends of her coat.

    The dragon circled around and unleashed another blazing stream, but Arel yelled back in defiance, her voice rising above the noise, and cast her hands upwards, releasing her spell.

     The lava around her exploded into the sky, coalescing into an enormous red claw that hurled itself at the dragon.

    Her spell collided with the blazing stream and pierced through it, scattering rivulets of fire all around, then reached its target.

    The dragon bellowed as the lava smashed into it, the molten claw digging into its soft underbelly with ease.

    Arel willed it forward, and the blazing torrent enveloped the dragon, covering its lower body, tail, and neck, and reaching for its head and back.

    The monster let out a gurgling shriek as it plummeted from the sky, its insides consumed by the merciless lava. It smashed into the ground mere feet away from her, shaking the earth. Arel gazed into its dark, beady eyes, wondering if it realized what had happened. The dragon stared back, a whirlwind of unspoken thoughts hidden behind its icy glare.

    It convulsed once, then its gaze went blank. Arel stood, panting. She’d done it. She’d killed a dragon, all on her own. There was hope after all.

    She cautiously approached the monstrous body. She did leave her cave to gather animal parts for scrimshaws, after all.  Might as well be dragon parts, she mused as she got to work.

    Several minutes later, Arel walked back towards her cave, her pouch full to the brim with dragon scales, claws, and teeth. The dragon’s body had been severely damaged by the lava, but there was enough of it untouched that she wouldn’t need to gather animal parts any time soon.

    Walking down the Qal Sisma mountain, she hummed a tune her mother used to sing for her bedtime, her left hand carving the dragon’s horn she held in her right.

    As she reached the opening she’d learned to call home, she looked over the finished scrimshaw. The symbols of the five clans were arranged in a circle, with the shamanic rune for “Unity” in the middle. Over to the side, the rune for “Dragon” stood alone, a single gash cutting through it. Arel looked up at the clear sky and breathed in. No longer would she let the monsters’ rule go unchallenged. They’d had over a thousand years of that.

    Now it was time to fight back. It was time for a new chapter in Tarkir’s history.

Art used: “Shamanic Revelation” by Cynthia Sheppard “Rattleclaw Mystic” by Tyler Jacobson “Wooded Foothills” by Jonas De Ro “Surrak Dragonclaw” by Jaime Jones “Seek the Horizon” by Min Yum “Dragon Grip”; art by Jason Rainville “Mindswipe” by Ryan Alexander Lee “Mountain” (Dragons of Tarkir) by Titus Lunter “Whisperer of the Wilds” by David Gaillet “Herdchaser Dragon” by Seb McKinnon “Crater’s Claws” by Noah Bradley “Dragon Whisperer” by Chris Rallis

[jimlingss]

Sunshower

Words: 4k

Genre: Fluff, Smut & a smidgen of angst

Hoseok is the sun.

He is blazing warmth, smiling eyes and glowing cheeks; the golden rays luminescent on his skin and you can’t stop your heartstrings tugging, a fast rhythm missing one beat when he turns to you, a face that lights up and speaks your name.

The world seemed to revolve around him, everything in creation built and made. He is the brightest star, holding the adoration of countless and the center of your shared group of friends. Friends.

That’s what you were to him.

Someone who he could depend on without needing to return a favour, someone who he could spill all secrets to and not worry about slips of the lips to strangers; someone who he could share with all the girls whom he was infatuation with. He looked at you like a friend and you couldn’t help your softened eyes and gaze that lingered, even when he already looked away.

Hoseok is the sun.

But you are the rain.

You found it hard to smile, conjuring up fake laughter to get along with others. Gloomy and grey in nature; some days you didn’t even feel like getting out of bed, chained down by your own mind. You drove people away, repelling like two sides of the same magnet. Sadness weaved its way in and when people asked if the glass was half-full or half-empty, you wondered why it even existed.

You are everything unlike him.

If he was the sun, you were the rain that concealed everything that was him. 

The house is oddly quiet when you arrive, the street desolate and no strange parked cars on the curb on the road. It only took one knock for the door to swing open, a sleepy man on the other side with pajama pants longer than his actual feet and his face flushing. “Yoongi, where is he?”

“In the spare bedroom.” He sighs and you step in after him.

The house reeks of alcohol and sweat, the floor filthy of paper and books, clothes and trash. It was always like this after one of their get togethers. “Where are the others?” You follow him into the kitchen where he jumps on the counter, taking a swig of his half-filled bottle.

Yoongi takes a long moment to answer, pondering where his own friends were inside the house. “I think Jimin’s on the couch. Taehyung’s on the floor somewhere. Be careful of stepping on him. I don’t know about the others. Maybe Namjoon went to take a piss outside and collapsed on the lawn again.”

“Great.” You dig your hands deep in your pockets. “But did you really have to call me all the way here?”

It was excruciating for you to slip out your warm covers when the clock had chimed midnight but when he said Hoseok’s name, you couldn’t lie that you came running.

He hums, sighing again. “The landlady’s a bitch. She’s coming over in the morning. Doesn’t like random people staying for free.”

“And the others?”

“I called some people for them. If anything, I’ll just throw them out back.” He chuckles hysterically, finding it funny if his friends woke up to a mouthful of dirt.

“And you couldn’t just drive them home because…..”

“Honey, I’m drunk.” Yoongi quips and even though his cheeks are red, somehow you’re still doubtful. He’s the most rational person you’ve ever seen drunk, calm and collected.

He smirks at you and you roll your eyes. “Can I ask you something?” He says after another swig.

“What?”

“How long are you gonna follow him around like a puppy for?”

You frown, a deep knot between your brows. His blunt words sting in your chest. “What are you talking about?”

He tilts his head, annoyed that you’re avoiding the topic and he deadpans. “Your crush on Hoseok.”

“It’s obvious.” He adds and you feel nauseous.

“Fuck off Yoongi.”

“Everyone knows about it. You don’t need to freak out.”

“We’re. friends.”

“You don’t have to be.”

“It’s not your problem, okay?” You grit your teeth, swallowing hard. You didn’t want to pick a fight with Yoongi. “It’s mine.”

He smiles smugly, shrugging slowly. It takes a moment for Yoongi to speak again, his words slightly slurring. “I don’t see what the problem is. Honestly, I think he lik-”

“Stop.” You wince away. “Don’t say that. Don’t give me hope.”

“Why not?”

You inhale a deep breath, feeling like something’s caught in your throat and your chest tightens. “I’m not good enough for someone like him. He deserves someone so much better, someone that isn’t me.”

//

Hoseok whimpers, his mind clouded but as he peels open his eyes, he sees you. He automatically smiles. “Y/N~?” He laughs, fumbling with his words like he bit his tongue. “Wha are you doin here, huh? Come to seee mee?” He pokes your cheek and you glance at him once before continuing.

“Stand on your own, dammit!” Yoongi huffs out, staggering himself.

The both of you are on each side of Hoseok, his arms thrown on your shoulders. You barely make it to the door and when you let go, he completely collapses on Yoongi who shouts, making a nearby Jin grumble tiredly.

You shove shoves onto his feet, immediately easing Yoongi of his deadweight. “Hoseok.” You shake him but he’s out like a light. “Hoseok, do you have the keys to your house? Hoseok. Hobi.” You sigh. “Yoongi can you-”

“I’m on it.” Yoongi responds as he messily pats down the man whose arms are wrapped around your neck. He digs in Hoseok’s pants pockets and hoodie but comes out short. “Nope.”

“Great.” You sigh, readjusting him so that he can at least walk himself. “Hoseok!”

“Hm?!” He opens his eyes suddenly. “What’s going on?”

“We have to go.”

“We have to go?”

“We have to go.”

He looks at you, eyes softening and when his gaze becomes too much and you move your head, he follows. It’s overwhelming when he’s a few inches away. His eyes glued to yours even when you try to avert. “We have to go.” You swallow hard, repeating yourself and he smiles, as brightly as the sunshine that’s sleeping.

“Okay.”

Yoongi opens his house door and when you wave goodbye, he does the same; shaking his head and sighing as you catch Hoseok again when he trips.

//

It is black, like ebony casted over your eyes and you can’t see a thing. Even as you blink and try to make out the ceiling of your living room, it’s still impossible. The only thing that keeps you awake aside from the beating of your own heart and your running poisonous thoughts is the wild, hammering beat on your window pane. It is shrieking through the cracks, violently whipping at the glass and you shiver underneath a thin blanket.

The sky is crying frozen droplets like you are, buckets and buckets of tears pouring down and flooding the city in grey. Even the moonbeams aren’t able to pierce through the clouds that are gathered in the sky, the crack of lightning sometimes allowing you a twinkle of light. The people that were still on the streets ran for their lives and hid underneath coverings. No one wanted to play underneath the dripping sky. No one liked the weeping of the heavens.

You hate the rain.

“What are you doing?” A thick voice emerges from several feet away and you move your head upwards, switching a lamp near the table on.

You flinch when the living room suddenly floods with a piercing light. “Hoseok?”

His hair is a ruffled mess, eyes swollen and he’s still blinking at you, dazed. The sight makes the bugs in your heart squirm. “Why are you sleeping out here?” He asks, voice no longer slurring but husky like he hasn’t spoken in years.

You’re lying on the couch with a thin blanket, having Hoseok collapsed on your bed instead. You couldn’t bear the pain nor carry the audacity of climbing in after him or sharing the small mattress.

He pulls your arm up and you frown. “What a-”

He gives you a look of utter disbelief. “You really think I’m going to let you sleep on the couch when I’m hogging your bed?” Switching off the lamp, you follow after him with reluctance yet with no strength to refuse. “Your back will ache so much in the morning.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine to me.”

You wonder if he can feel how sweaty your palms are getting, how loud your heartbeat is or how your breath has stopped completely. But you're just glad that it’s dark, he can’t see the mess that you are.

The mess that you are for him.

“Here.” He lets you on the bed and settles between the covers himself. “I promise I’ll leave in the morning. It’s like four am right now.”

With slow hesitation you climb in, pressed between the mattress and the toasty blanket. You move to your side, on the edge to build distance away from his body. It’s too overwhelming, you almost feel suffocating and now sleep is even farther away.

“It’s raining.” Hoseok hums after minutes, whispering into the empty air and wondering if you were awake like him.

“Yeah.” You hum.

“I hate the rain.”

“I love the rain.”

The both of you simultaneously interrupt each other. And it takes a few moments for his words to process through your brain. “What?” You turn around, realizing that he was on his own side, facing you. But now the both of you were a few distances away, facing each other and something you discovered not because you could see in the pitch black but his warm breath that fanned over your lips.

“Why?” You murmur out.

“It’s nice...gentle...calming.” You can hear his smile, the honey dripping in his voice. “It smells good afterwards like that earth scent, you know?”

To Hoseok he found the falling droplets and pitter-pattering on the rooftops to be a sweet, soft melody. It’s a whisper in the air, a downpour that washed the ground and left it with flourishing flowers, a fresh fragrance; the purest.

“I love the rain.”

It was too much for you; his words suffocated you and you were trapped in your own emotions. It was painful and you knew it was time to leave it behind. You had plans to let it be, let it simmer until it all but evaporated. Perhaps one day, you would’ve told him after all, many decades later and the both of you would’ve marvelled about how ridiculous it would’ve been - you and him together.

You could laugh, he would laugh and it would be all over. But time couldn’t heal or hide the feelings that were conjuring inside your heart, it only got worse.

Maybe by morning you would be horrified by your own decision, maybe you’d never be able to get up again or look his way without hurt. You already knew what you were going to hear but maybe that’s all you needed. A heard rejection to end all suffering. ‘No’.

“Hoseok?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

You grip the bed sheets within your fist, swallowing hard and closing your eyes. You can hear how he stops breathing. You already begin to regret saying anything.

“Since when?”

“I don’t know.” You answer honestly in a whimper. “Since forever maybe?”

He doesn’t say anything except after a long moment, drawn out to make your head pound with the words ‘no’, you feel his touch graze your cheek. You flinch and he draws back. “Is it okay?” He asks and you hum.

His hand falls to your cheek, thumb slowly brushing your skin. “Were you crying?” He asks and you don’t respond. “Y/N?”

You hum.

“Can I kiss you?”

Something catches in your heart. “Do you really want to do that?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

In a flash of a moment, you feel a plush softness press to your lips. It’s gentle, barely there but a feathered pillow graze. You can only hope that you won’t wake up in sweat, realizing that it was all a painful dream.

His hands are cupping your cheeks and he tilts his head, trying to deepen the kiss, taste your lips to a stronger degree by lightly tugging your bottom lip. He shifts his leg in between yours and when he presses right against your core, you gasp, allowing him access. You moan when he shifts upwards, hands on both sides of your head, kissing you until your lips are swollen and you’re gasping for breath. “I love you.”

Your brain is in too much of a whirlwind to realize the meaning of his whispers, simply making you shudder with his warm breath against your ear. “Can I touch you?” He asks, voice calm and simmering desire underneath.

You can only manage one whisper, through parted lips. “Please.”

Piece after piece are stripped from his body and yours with hesitation and his trembling fingers until you lay your hands on top of his in reassurance. Within moments you’re vulnerable underneath him, anxious with goosebumps raising along your skin from being exposed to the sudden cool air. He reaches over, switching on a lamp and the room automatically floods with a warm glow, casting shadows of you and him onto the floorboards.

You shudder every time his warm hands run along your skin; through the dip in your back, your hips, legs, thighs and everywhere he can get, gazing over each inch with softened eyes. “Don’t look so closely.” Your words manage through shaking lips.

He smiles. “I can’t.”

With your pouted lips, he kisses you again and again. At first it’s peppered kisses then it lingers for longer and longer, his honey orbs connected with yours until you close your eyes. He inhales into your scent and you groan, murmuring his name between your locked mouths. When he finally let’s go, the both of you are panting.

His leg is wedged between yours, fingers dancing dangerously along your folds. He continues to kiss you, fluttering touches of his lips along your face; cheeks, jaw and nose. You’re a shaking, whimpering mess without him even needing to touch you more than light fingertip caresses.

“Hoseok.” You huff out his name and he smiles.

“What?”

You don’t even know what you’re asking him for, why you’re even calling him but you’re dazed and with your begging eyes, he smiles gently and gives in. Within mere moments, he finally invades your body with his fingers and you gasp, shocked and shuddering at the flood of sensations.

You wonder how much time passes and he just continues, in a slow motion to a fast, frantic pace; drawing back when your thighs begin quivering too much and you’re close to the end. There’s sweat lining both your foreheads, the heat too unbearable for you and he keeps nipping at the skin of your neck, smiling when you get louder and louder.

But his smug expression is wiped completely when you force your eyes open, looking at him with an expression of desperation and plea. “Please. Hoseok. Please.”

He repositions himself and with one kiss, buries himself deep in you, setting a rough pace. You’re lurching forward on the mattress, back pressed down as you clutch his arm, fingernails digging into his skin. Despite the frantic pushes and draw backs, his gaze never wavers or loses trace of the gentle warmth, making you lose your mind even more.

You’re sputtering his name as he moans, closing his eyes and washing over the sensation. He licks his lips, grabbing your hair lightly and the both of you press your foreheads together. He kisses you one more time before shoving a hand between your legs.

Like the thunder outside, lightning shoots through your body and the tension in your stomach finally shatters. You dissolve into the pleasure and his pace loses control, his pants become more frantic and his fingers press deeper into the skin of your thighs, marking black and blue by morning light. When you fall back down onto earth, he finally releases, a warm stream coating your walls. With a few more pushes, he collapses onto your body and kisses you again.

You’re too dazed, wondering if it’s all a dream but with his hand intertwined in yours, you fall into a slumber without checking twice.

//

People always wondered why he was friends with someone like you.

You were the gloomy one who always gathered their knees together to sit alone in the corner, the child that was picked last and only only out of pity, a little too lonely to admit outright. But he was there with a held out hand and a genuine smile, like the sunshine and made your world a little less grey. Years went by and you sharpened the skill of speaking to strangers and drawing up grins with chirpy laughter. But underneath it all, you were still the rain.

He, on the other hand, knew how to make a sincere smile line your lips, coral dust on your cheeks. Somewhere along the way, your colours changed from ash to a rose-tinted world and there was something more when he called your name, heartstrings that tug and a longing melody echoing into the caverns of your heart.

People always wondered why he was friends with someone like you. You wondered it too.

You shook yourself awake, feeling an ache between your joints and a stiffness in your body. The minute you opened your eyes, you were met with your best friend, lying on his stomach next to you and it took the next second for you to realize what had happened.

Instantly, you bolted to your feet, scavenging for your clothes on the floor and shoving them onto your body. “What are you doing?” A groggy voice slowly asks, awakened by the noise and you flinch. You don’t answer, instead putting your legs through your pants and you can hear the covers shuffle around.

“Are you going somewhere?” He asks in a concerned voice but you don’t turn around. “Y/N?”

You pull your shirt on, already scrambling for the door. “Y/N?”

You swallow hard, making it to the doorway to pull on your shoes but before you can leave, he grabs your arm. Finally, you turn around to meet his eyes, feeling your heart catch in your throat.

His eyes are crinkled in distress, brows furrowed so deep that you think it might leave marks. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“N-nothing’s wrong.” You manage with a smile.

“Don’t lie to me.” He begs and your fake smile falls. “Where are you going?”

“Just out.” You shrug but dying to run for your life.

He finally lets you go but his gaze keeps your feet planted to the ground. “Did you regret it?” He asks in a hushed whisper.

“No!” You inhale a sharp breath, raising your hands. “No that’s not it.”

“Then what’s wrong?” His voice cracks like he’s holding back a sob.

The sight pains you unbearably. “You….you deserve someone better.”

“What?”

“Someone that’s not me. Anyone! As long as they’re not me.” You murmur out, avoiding his strong stare. “It was a mistake.”

He is the sun, someone so bright and warm but all you did was become a hindrance. His smile would be wiped when he saw you, replaced with something you couldn’t understand, even after all these years. His rambunctious laughter became quieter in your presence and he shined brighter without you there.

The mumbles of people’s disbelief swirled in your head, questions of why he even spared time for you and you wondered the same, questions that had no answers to. And when you looked in the mirror, you only felt more and more inadequate, the longer and closer your stared, the more flaws uncovered underneath the layers. He deserved someone that made him grin even wider, someone beautiful as he is; another star or sun.

But you were the rain.

“You need someone better, okay?” You were starting to become angry, something that surprised him. You were usually soft-spoken but nonetheless, he took a step forward.

“Y/N.”

“You need someone prettier and smarter and more talented than someone like me. You deserve so much more, you’re amazing and everyone knows that. You can have anyone you want. Just anyone that isn’t me!” You spit out at him.

There’s a long silence as he stares at you with utter disbelief. “Stop making me out to be something more than I actually am!” He shouts, fists tightening. “I thought of all people, you wonder understand that.”

“I’m a horrible person.” He says.

“You’re not.”

“I am!” He reaches out his hand but when you wince away, he lowers it with a flash of hurt. “Do you know why I even became your friend?” He shakes his head at you but you don’t answer, only frowning. “It’s because I fell in love with you. I didn’t even have intentions of being your friend, Y/N. This entire time, for all these years. Every time you looked at me or spoke to me, thinking I was your best buddy that you could depend on. Do you know what I thought of you at night when I was alone? Do you know what I did when I thought about you?”

Your cheeks flush from his words, slowly stepping back. He chuckles sadly. “All those times I told you about those girls, all the girls I slept with - they were to make you jealous, Y/N. I was stupid. I’m still stupid! I lied to you this entire time. I lied to your face. I never wanted to be just your friend.”

He grabs your hand gently. “Please Y/N. Stop making me out to be something more than I really am.”

It’s too much to bear when the sun says that it isn’t the sun; something you’ve believed your entire life you’re suddenly suppose to no longer believe with a string of words, a few sentences. And when you can’t understand, an overload of emotions washing over you to be overwhelming, you do what you know best; running away.

You peel your hand away from his, throwing the door open and running out into the rain. “Y/N!” He calls after you but you keep running.

It was too hard to chase the sun when you were rain.

It’s still downpouring from the night, the sky in grey and covered in clouds. The streets are empty, people hiding in their homes or taking cover; fearing their bodies getting drenched, clothes sticking to their skin and sickness slithering up their spines from the chill. The water screams at you, pummeling the top of your head and eventually you run out of strength to run through the endless puddles. Why?

The hammering of the droplets stop and you feel warmth linger behind you. When you look up, the grey clouds are replaced with a bright yellow umbrella. “Why?” You turn around to Hoseok who’s wearing his clothes from last night, searching your face frantically, trying to understand what you’re feeling. “Why do you love me?”

“Because you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.” He professes, drawing you in for a tight embrace. “The kindest when no one’s looking, the gentlest and the sweetest. I don’t need to always smile or be loud or laugh or shine for you. You won’t ask me what’s wrong. I can be who I really am.”

You pull away, smiling sincerely as your heartstrings tug a melody that’s no longer filled with sorrows. He steals your smile, pressing his lips against yours and you hold him tight.

The sky clouds loosen, still downpouring but a glint of sunshine, a few rays pierce through the clouds. The shimmering, golden light reflects off the water, cascading into a bright mosaic of colours that is anything but grey. The sky still weeps but brightly from joy, both raining and sunny; a sunshower.

[sinbuseven]

Sunlight

RWBY ReNora | Ren Lie x Nora Valkyrie # character exploration | ment. of character death | stages of grief | moving on

He sits. And he remembers.

(edit: right after writing this I watched the episode where hoofman appears and was struck with the biggest fear that they’d kill Nora so I almost regret writing this absolute mess horse shit)

The lake is smooth, shimmering at his feet as it scatters the sunlight. He's walked the length around it twice now, and finally settles on a sunken bank on the northern side, facing the mountains. The water laps at his toes and he breathes out, slow, shoes and bag left on a rock behind him.

It really is a beautiful day. 

His fingers press into the sand and he leans forward, chest against his knees and hair falling to curtain his face while he reaches to trace shapes into the sand at his feet before the water slowly melts it back into nothing. First, a sun, with eight rays he can't quite finish before a small ripple washes it away. He draws a smile, with a crooked eye. A cloud. What might be a dog, or a horse? He drags his thumb, and then draws a line: a hammer. And then, easily, a heart that gets washed away as well.

A bird chirps. Somewhere, the wind rustles the trees, and the water comes up to kiss his finger tips. And it's quiet. It's been months, but still, he can't fully understand hearing. Nothing. He strains, but hears silence. He draws another heart, to the soft sound of the lake and its movement, persists even as the lake washes it away. Ren draws the heart four times, and then closes his eyes at the fifth.

It really, really is a beautiful day. 

It's almost hateful.

"Is this Ren Lie?" he remembers the voice crackling over his scroll. A call. Digging fingers into the sand, he lays down, eyes open and coat crumpling against his back. The sky is a quiet kind of empty blue, fading into white on the horizon. "We are... terribly sorry." And the voice did sound sorry. Maybe that made it worse, that he couldn't even be angry at them. 

His jaw works, clenching tight before he forces himself to relax. He can feel it. As the water comes a little shy of his feet, the soft wash of his semblance balances him again, a hazy sensation that fills his stomach, before spreading through the rest of his body. It’s a brush of warmth up his neck, ghosting pink over his eyes before collecting at the top of his head. It loosens the tight grip over his heart, and runs down to the tips of his toes.

Peace. The sky is the wrong type of blue, he thinks. Even if the memories of touch dissipate from his mind, he will never forget the exact, bright, alive blue. His favorite. And since the sky is wrong, he just closes his eyes. Light plays against his eyelids, warm reds and soft orange. The sand crunches as he moves his head. His breathing is slow, and measured. His body fills with weight.

When he stares out at the lake again, it's unmoving and mirror-like. The sun is hidden behind clouds that he convinces himself, effortlessly, were there all along. 

She stands at the other side of the lake, and ah. Even from here, he can feel her gaze, can see the right kind of blue fall upon him. Her hair bounces as she waves to him, a bright fire against the shaded browns and grays of the trees behind her. She's so bright, vibrant. Clouds continue to race over the sun but it's enough, that he can see her like this. She’s sunlight on her own. He pushes himself up, and is suddenly at her side.

She smiles bashfully, and electricity races through his body. Her touch, it feels explosive and chemical when their fingers come to interlock.

She says his name, but the key hits an octave too high. Not exactly right, he thinks, but still tips her chin up to look into her eyes. Her free hand comes to tangle in his hair but her touch is cool, gentle instead of the rushed pulls he was used to.

He wants to tell her. He misses her. But she shakes her head and lips that he's thought of for weeks mesh to say. She'll be here. Always. Something she's said before, in his memories. His whole world blinks and she's suddenly in a dirty white shirt, with a heart across the chest. She's got bruises on her knees and cuts on her hands from falling. She’s small, gripping his sleeve and staring pleadingly at him. Don't leave. He smiles, like he always will, only for her, because he won't go anywhere.

"We can protect each other."

The sky is more of a soft violet when Ren opens his eyes, and he can't stop himself from feeling it this time. When he sits up, her hand isn't in his hair, and there are no clouds covering the sun. He touches his arm, tries to bite it all back. The clench, the white hot grip at his chest, his throat. He makes a noise, like he's dying, only proving how painfully alive he is. Without her. And there is no energy he can muster to stop the well and burst of tears over his eyes, heels of his palms pressed hard against his face to catch. He breaks the silence with a sob, a sound of anguish.

It's been three months, two days. He's travelled back to Anima. He skirts the mountain paths near Mistral, he sleeps at inns at Higanbana and touches the ruins of Kuroyuri, without her.

Without Nora. 

And he cries for what must be hours, for the first time. He lets himself let go. No strength, no calm serenity. The lake washes up over the arch in his foot and he hiccups around the sound of water against stone. He misses her. He misses her. 

He thinks that he will miss her for the rest of his life. What kind of person is he, without her? Without the smile, the sweet smell, the understanding. Even his smallest shifts were open books to her, because she knew him, and he knew her, better than anyone ever could. Distantly, he thinks, these tears are the worst he's cried since he was a child. But he doesn't need to be strong. There is no child to save, no self preservation. He doesn't need to be strong and he thinks that maybe, she wouldn't want him to be right now, anyways. And so, he cries until the lake is orange like her favorite kind of juice and the sun makes the horizon a bright red.

Sand is in his collar, it dusts his clothes, it gets in his hair, and itches when he pushes himself to his feet on shaky legs.

The inn keeper gives him a dirty look when he tracks sand in before disappearing into his room. He sleeps again, but it's a black and heavy sleep. 

He dreams and sees nothing, and strains to feel nothing.

He doesn't go back to the lake for days. He'd spent three in his room, sleeping, restless, never feeling enough to force himself into calm, but also no longer feeling the need to use his semblance on himself. 

A fourth day of hunger pulls him up to shower, and eat, and the sun bites into his eyes but he sits perched on a rock with his back to the mountains.

"Nora," Ren wonders out loud, pulling his hair back into a loose pony tail before fishing through his bag. "You know, we can still keep our promise." He finds the knife at the bottom of his bag, beside a tiny wooden hammer that has a handle too small for the size of his hands. He folds a knee under himself and sets his bag aside, reaching to retie his hair with the knife held between his teeth. Once he's satisfied with its neatness, he presses the knife against the strands above the tie carefully. While he's some level of ready to let go, he wouldn't want to lose an ear over this, like an idiot.

Strands start to split and he goes slow. "Watch over and protect me," he says absently, to the lake. "And I'll remember you." 

The knife cuts clean through his hair and he brings his hand back around, watching loose strands flutter away while he ties another band around the bundle. He's a bit surprised at how light his head feels, and he spends another few minutes taking a small pair of scissors to the uneven chunks his knife didn't quite catch. It's almost surreal to hold his own hair in his hands, separate from his body. He thinks maybe, she would have missed his long hair. She liked to braid it—tangle it, really—while he was reading. But he thinks she would have liked this, too.

He spends a moment, musing on that.

Yeah. Nora would have liked him trying to heal, too.