#it was also just rly funny to recognize more of the songs

[seishun-emergency]

rewatching the enstars anime after having read a lot more stories both in ! and !! era and also having listened to a lot more of the songs that exist in the discographies is a really fun experience

[solarnomoon]

get a guitar - lee heeseung

your boyfriend every third thursday/best friend not boyfriend/(not-so) secret crush, heeseung, gets a little too tipsy for you.

pairing >>> heeseung x male reader

tags >>> college au, alcohol consumption, confessing feelings???, misunderstanding, slight angst, fluff, comfort, (not super) drunk hee, suggestive content

author's note >>> i have a few things to say. first, this was inspired by drunk heeseung hello he's adorable ･ﾟ･(｡>ω<｡)･ﾟ･ and second, i rly liked riize's debut song! and ik, it's supposed to be fun and innocent, but it's fun to think there's more to it!

the rattling of your bedside table was not uncommon for you to be awakened by, but was what uncommon was the fact that as you open your eyes to silence your phone from the blasting alarm, there was no light that peered through the curtains, causing you to groan at being woken up so early.

you reach for your phone and see who dared to wake you from your slumber, and after your eyes adjusted to the bright light, you immediately pick up seeing sunghoon’s name. you figured it was important as sunghoon has never once called you, the reason being as he hates calling and only texts, dms, hell, even replies on twitter.

“hello?”

“h-hey y/n!” the voice that rang through was not sunghoon, now keeping in mind that technically, sunghoon had still never rung you. “what’s going oonnn!”

it’s not like you didn’t recognize the voice though, “sunoo? not much, but it’s fucking… 1:30 in the morning, what’s up?” you slowly sit up, rubbing your eyes after flipping the on switch for your ambient lamp next to you.

“heyy, so, basically we all went out as you know, and oh em gee, you have to look at the pictures we took, they are SO funny…” you hear someone else’s voice in the background to tell him to focus, whom you can only assume is jay. “sorrryyy, anyway we called because your little lover boy over here is like, a little like, too fucked up.”

“heeseung? and he’s not my lover boy.”

“notice how i didn’t say a name~” the guy over the phone just giggles, you letting out a sigh after hearing that heeseung might’ve gotten himself in trouble. “anyway, his roommate has his fuckbuddy over, probably getting her pregnant. he’s so fucking irresponsible with condoms, agh, i hate him!” the sudden outburst from sunoo makes you snort, the love-hate relationship they have is probably one of the most entertaining things you’ve seen in a while.

“it’s okay, sun, tell me how much you hate ‘lix later.”

an audible gasp is heard through the phone, with sunoo adding, “ugh, i hate that you’re friends with that stupid australian!”

“felix is not a bad guy, sunoo, and you know this too.” you take this opportunity to tease him back, “plus, you’re just jealous that he’s not fucking you instead, don’t lie.”

“not the point y/n. the real point is, can seung stay at yours? i know your roommate is out for the weekend, and none of us have space for him.” he pauses for a few seconds, then jay tells him to ‘tell y/n the other thing!’ sunoo lets out a noise of agreement, then continues. “he also has been asking about you all night. like, i mean literally talking about you every moment of his life. so i think it’s time to just give him what he wants…”

“he’s been asking about me?”

“uhh, when is he not? seriously, when are you guys gonna get together?”

“you know he doesn’t like me like th-“

this time, sunoo lets out a sigh, interrupting your sentence. “i don’t wanna get into this with you, we’re coming to your dorm.”

“but i didn’t say you c-“ and with that, your dorm room opens wide open, with heeseung holding on to jay’s shoulder to keep himself up. “-ould come."

after jay puts him down onto your chair, sunoo and jungwon walk in the room as well, with jungwon giving you a wave while sunoo gives you a hug. "he's your responsibility now, y/n. we couldn't get him to go anywhere else to be honest..." jay admits, his hand reaching to the back of his neck.

"it's... fine, just go have fun and enjoy the rest of your night. i can take care of heeseung." at the sound of his name, the guy looks over to you, mouth forming a wide smile when he recognizes your face.

"hey you, just the man i was looking for!" heeseung stands up from the chair and practically jumps into your bed with you, hugging you by the waist while his lower body stays on the floor. you nod to the other three, signalling them to leave, with jungwon and jay giving you a sheepish smile. sunoo on the other hand just wiggles his eyebrows and does the "salt shaking" motion, then leaves with them, shutting the door behind him.

you place your hands on heeseung's head and angle his face as to look at him, immediately feeling the warmth of his cheeks. as he looks up at you, you notice that he has a natural red glow, presumably from the alcohol he had consumed. "jeez, how much have you drank?"

he puts his fingers into a pinch, "a little bit." he removes his other hand from your waist to match the pinch, "just a little, a little." he puts his hand into a motion as if he's drinking a cup, signaling to you that he drank (as if you didn't already know that...) "actually, i drank a little."

"yeah, heard you the first... and second... and third time, heeseung. do you want some water?" you lean over to your bedside table to grab your water bottle, but when you try to hand it to him, he pushes it away. "you don't want?"

"i only want it if you drink it first!" he grins at you, confidence filling his voice all of a sudden.

"dude, how can you drink it if i drink it?"

"easy, you just pour it from your mouth into mine."

"what are you fucking talking about?"

heeseung gets up from the floor and sits next to you, leaning over to have his head on your lap. "it would be really easy like this, you just pour it into your mouth and then drip it into mine..." he wraps his arms around your waist again, putting his face into your shirt. "or, you could just kiss me with the water in your mouth."

you thought you heard him wrong, with the fact that he muttered his last sentence into your shirt, but after asking him to repeat it, you realize that what you heard was what he said. "...heeseung, i thi-" a muffled whine interrupts your sentence, and for a second, your heart squeezes, nervous that whine was one out of pain (definitely not because you liked the way it sounded coming from him). "heeseung?"

another whine erupts from his mouth, but before you could ask again, he answers, "stop calling me that, y/n."

"dude, you know that's your name, right?"

the movement was so quick that you didn't even know his drunk self could manage it, but in the blink of an eye, the positions had changed to where you were sitting in his lap, his arms wrapped around your waist still, but his face laying on your back. "but that's not what you call me."

"what are you talking about, seungie?" and with that, you could literally feel the muscles on his face form a slight smile, his face pressing harder into your back. after that, he removed it, putting his lips oddly close to your neck.

"that's my boy, much better..." his lips graze the bottom of your ear, before moving to the side of your neck, planting a small kiss. "so much better."

the minute you felt his lips on your skin, your instinct was to push away, your pulse quickening, and the area on the back of your neck tingling like sparks. "hey, don't fucking do that!" you looked back to scold him, but the tiny pout on his face made you soften up. "just... you can't do that kind of shit... not when..." i'm practically in love with you, you had wanted to say, and although heeseung was drunk, you couldn't take that chance of him remembering in the morning and prematurely ruining the friendship.

you knew it was bound to happen. it was only a matter of time before he found out himself or your feelings had grown immense amounts to the point where you couldn't take it anymore. either way was a lose-lose situation, but even knowing this, you couldn't lose heeseung as a friend, or a sort of fake lover the way he had treated you.

in fact, it was how he had treated you that made this impossible. he clung to you like a fucking leech. you and him were rarely seen without the other, and everyone around knew that if you invited one, you had to invite the other.

he'd play stupid horror games on roblox late at night with you, running halfway across campus the minute you said you were too scared to continue, and he'd hold you in his arms as you slept until dawn.

he'd invite you to his dorm and watch rom-coms with all of your favorite snacks, ramen that he had cooked for both of you guys, and heated blankets, massaging your back as you watched together while you laughed at the stupid jokes, periodically asking you if those pick-ups lines would work if someone used them on you.

he'd pick you up to go to a fancy dinner date, paying for your entire meal, then afterwards, bring you on a drive to the scenic areas and talk deep conversations with you as you guys admitted shit you never had before, discussing innate and learned fears, future plans, and why the earth revolved around the sun.

if you guys were dating, heeseung would be the absolute perfect boyfriend. he brought you to theme parks, county fairs, arcades, family meetups, holidays, pretty much everywhere. you couldn't imagine life without him, he was a staple to your life, and everyone knew you guys were practically inseparable.

but you and heeseung weren't dating. you had done all of these things in the past few months out of pure best-friendcy. and yet, you didn't want to lose this intimacy with him.

"not when you what, y/n?" heeseung leans to the side so you could see his face, curiosity floating in his eyes as he gazes at you.

"...not when you're drunk, heeseung."

"i'm not fucking drunk. and didn't i tell you to stop calling me that? it doesn't sound right coming out of your mouth." heeseung strengthens his grip around you, pulling you closer into him, as if he let go, you would fall out of his life for good.

"heeseung, you have to let go, you drank too much and you don't know what you're doing," before you could even realize it, your voice had started raising in volume and desperation little by little, "and it's like this isn't normal best friend behavior and i feel like i'm trapped in this fucking bubble of keeping to myself because i don't want to ruin us but i can't just leave you because you're so fucking important to me and i just!" you hold your breath, not knowing what to say next. "i just think it's unfair..."

you didn't even realize you were crying until heeseung was wiping the tears away with his hands, leaving small kisses on the top of your head. "hey, hey, baby..." heeseung whispered, making you even angrier. you turn around in his lap, hitting his chest.

"heeseung! don't even fucking call me that right now! that's part of the problem, you don't call your best friend that! stop fucking playing with my feelings!" you then grab his shirt and cry into it, muttering the last part, "if you wanna play with something, play with that stupid fucking guitar you have, not me..."

he chuckles softly at your sentence, but before you scold him for laughing at a time like this, he gently presses his lips against yours, encapsulating you into a slow, loving kiss. instead of fighting back, you lean into him, allowing yourself to be taken by his soft lips, kissing back with just as gentle of pressure, not wanting to be overwhelmed by a feeling you have dreamed of since you met the man.

as he pulls away, he wipes the tears stained on your cheek with his thumb lovingly, leaving his hands on your face. "you've been wanting to say all of that for a while huh? i feel like that outburst has been building up overtime." you just nod, not knowing what to say. "y/n, i swear to god, we've been dating. maybe not officially boyfriends, but dating." the confusion on your face must've been extremely evident, because he squishing his eyebrows together in retaliation. "you... you know i'm like... in love with you right...? right?"

"huh?" you sniffle, the tears stopping from the perplexed feeling overtaking your sadness. "you've never asked me out!"

"yes, i did! remember, at the park, when we had a picnic and i brought strawberry soju and the whole charcuterie board. i asked you that day, i remember what i said because i wrote it down. i said 'y/n, can we take this to the next step?' and you were like, 'yes!' so i thought you knew!"

oh.

oh.

you have never felt so fucking stupid in your life.

"that's what you meant?! i thought you meant to the next step of the stairs we were on!"

heeseung just looks at you blankly, mouth ajar. after a few moments, he just laughs, the sound so loud it reverberates through the room and even rumbles the bed. "n-no fucking way! is that why you randomly picked up the fucking blanket and moved it up to the actual next step?!"

"'cause that's what i thought you meant!" you exclaimed, the anchor in your heart that you didn't even know existed being relieved the more heeseung talked.

heeseung embraces you, placing another kiss onto your lips for a second, then just hovers in front of them, looking into your eyes. "then let me make it explicitly clear. y/n, i'm so fucking in love with you. please let me be your boyfriend."

you respond to him with a kiss of your own, allowing yourself to be overtaken with the absolute relief from the dredge that had been weighing you down on your guys' relationship for weeks upon weeks now. "yes, heeseung. i'd love for you to be my boyfriend."

he just smirks, hands moving from your face down to the hem of your shirt, wanting for you to take it off, which you gladly comply with. "fucking good. been wanting to kiss you, strip you, make you mine for weeks now, but you never reciprocated, so i just thought you weren't ready..." he takes your shorts off with efficiency, not wanting to waste any time with you.

"oh yeah? aren't you still drunk, heeseung?"

"was never that drunk to begin with, just wanted to get that water thing to work, but this..." placing his hands on your thighs, he spreads your legs and pulls you closer, "this is so much fucking better."

[mirrorforevers]

here, there, and everywhere • graham coxon/reader

this fic is based on two prompts y'all sent me:

and

this fic really tested all of my blur knowledge holy Fuck. blur as talking heads au i guess. how cool would it be if they

1. had a girl bassist instead of the cheese tory dude

2. werent as unhappy as they were in the mid 90s (just a bit)

3. were just a little 🤏🏻 bit more female friendly lets just pretend this is a universe where the blurjob passes didnt exist heh

it took me everything i had to make this sound as realistic as it could be. u know these girls who think they could fix patrick bateman or don draper? perhaps y’all could fix blur

consider this a gift n not only me writing for your prompt, @nottuned! thank u so much for all your support n encouragement n for always bein so sweet 🥺 i hope u enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!

let’s see how many references to unfortunate britpop moments y’all can find in this

also i hope i captured the silliness of the gossip and drama in that era well. if you enjoyed it, please leave an ask telling me more! ur feedback is rly important to me 😔✊🏻

tw (?) reader has shitty parents

word count: 7.938 (this one's quite long!)

smut. set in the 90s. au.

You were unlocking your door when you heard your house phone ring. The shrill sound echoed through the empty corridors as you hurriedly unwrapped your scarf, tossing your keys and backpack on nearby furniture as you ran to answer the call.

“Hello?” You answer, panting.

“Y/N?”

“Dave?” You smile, that call was a very welcome surprise. Your friend owed you an answer.

-

A few weeks ago, Dave Rowntree, your music classmate who became a close friend, told you that he had teamed up with two other proficient musicians to form a band. Dave was ecstatic, and every day he had new stories about his new friends to tell you between breakfasts and lunches that you shared between the countless hours of rehearsals. Even though you weren't part of the group, you already felt that you knew Damon and Graham like the back of your hand. Yin and Yang. One was expansive, ambitious, vain, impulsive. The other, shy, introspective, anxious and careful.

Damon Albarn wanted to be an actor, Graham Coxon had a firm foot in the visual arts. One was a fan of grand classical compositions, the other was a Beatles fan. They had been friends since they were children, in a seemingly unbreakable bond. Damon dropped out of his theater class not only because out of a sudden he had found a bigger calling in music instead of acting, but also because he couldn't stand being away from his best friend for so long. You found yourself often imagining their faces and voices while trying to make all of the wild and endearingly funny stories Dave told you more tangible in your head.

It was not long before Dave started dropping little hints that they needed someone else for their project. “It’s not that Graham isn’t good at bass,” he’d say, “but we could do better.” It wasn't at the top of your plans to be part of a band right now, especially as you were preparing intensely to join the Royal Academy of Music, and he knew it. When you mentioned the conversations you had with Dave about the boys on your family dinner, in quiet wonder and timid want of being part of something really exciting, your parents wrinkled their noses. Focus on the greater things, they’d say. Don’t let these boys distract you from your goal.

Our goal, they meant to say. Since you were born, you never knew if the things you wanted were really your will or theirs.

But anyway.

That dynamic went on for a while, until the day Dave invited you to audition for them while you shared a Diet Coke in the tube home.

“Will it take too much of my time?” You asked, coyly.

“Bold of you to assume we’ll let you in that quickly.” He chuckles, amused by your confidence. You playfully elbow him in return. He knew how good you were at what you did, though, and there’s lightness in his tone when he continues, “But no, unless you let it. You’ll probably have to stand up to Damon every once in a while.” He sips the drink, handing it over to you.

“What about Graham? How much is he determined to make it big?”

“Damon’s the one who wants it the most. Graham’s studying Fine Arts at Goldsmiths, so. There’s still cautiousness in him.”

“Huh. Okay then.” You reply, thoughts running wild. “Do we have a time and date?”

“Is tomorrow ok to you?”

“Sure. After our class?”

“Perfect.” The train reaches his station. He ruffles your hair: “See you tomorrow then.”

“See you.”

You don’t tell anything about it to your parents, you just warn them that you’ll arrive a bit later than usual. Dave’s intel was crucial to your choice of songs: knowing Graham was the beatlemaniac and also the rational brake to Damon’s tireless ambition, you knew who to please and have as an ally, so you build an innovative and fresh mashup of Paul McCartney’s greatest basslines to play for them. Of course it could backfire, but you didn’t care. You had a hell of a good ear anyway and if Damon wanted you to play anything out of the blue, you would improvise beautifully over it.

The day comes. You didn’t know why you were that nervous for an amateur audition. You weren’t even sure if it was the right path to follow, given that, depending on how focused Damon really was and how contagious his aspiration was, being part of a band could really take you out of your predestinated course. The reason why you were so nervous, now thinking a little more about it, may be because deep inside, you want your path to be a little less predictable. You didn’t want to fill your heart with hopes that you might make it big and travel all over the world because you didn’t even know them. But… what if it clicks? You knew some people in the scene whose work was getting seriously recognized out there.

Meeting them for the first time was an enigmatic experience. Damon was incredibly brash and cocky - not the first theater kid you’ve met in your life. Graham was way more approachable, though also a bit conceited when pushed just right. You wondered if you’d fit in that boys’ club, and decided you wouldn’t be an easy target for discredit or any kind of shit they might give you. “Took me a while to fully get their trust. You’ll do just fine”, Dave said, out of their earshot.

That gave you more fuel to play amazingly well. Damon definitely wasn’t one to be impressed quickly, but he was, when you finished your set. So was Graham - Graham was starry eyed with your performance, actually. Albarn showed you a song and asked you if you could improvise to it, just as you imagined. Of course you could, on the first play. You even suggested some adjustments to its structure. Your feedback was welcomed and noted.

-

Even though everything went surprisingly well, you still weren't sure if you would be a member of “Seymour”, as they called themselves. (You knew it wasn’t the best name, but you didn’t have a better suggestion at the time so you’ve kept your opinion to yourself.) Graham became eerily quiet out of a sudden and wouldn’t cross eyes with you the entire time you were there. Damon, well, was Damon. Perhaps he thought you were too ordinary and mainstream for deciding to play Beatles when he’s trying to be the new avant-garde Jesus.

But Dave's news was different than you expected. “They really, really enjoyed your audition. As I thought they would.” You can hear the smile in his voice. "When can you rehearse with us?"

-

Months after, on your first gig as a fully formed and integrated band, Damon was hit in the face by a guy twice his size, Graham vomited onstage and you and Dave had to take care of both. A beautiful way to close the already exquisite day you had, after you fought with your parents, got kicked out of your childhood home and gave up on entering the Royal Academy of Music two days after you received your acceptance letter featuring rave reviews of your entrance exam.

Dealing with these boys - no, grown-ass men - was hard, but not completely unpleasant. If it were totally unpleasant, you wouldn’t give up on your entire life to embark on such an adventure.

You - plural you - were so gifted and Damon’s compositions were so good. You could see that artsy pretentious mess of an act going somewhere. Of course, you were a bit lost in your life, but so were they, as you ran from city to city meeting new people and trying new things in your journey to fame.

Loneliness, once a close friend, became a distant acquaintance. One you didn’t know anymore.

You confess you were getting worried, though, with how much money you had left on your savings and how much you were spending lately now that your parents weren’t an active part of your life. Wanting to eat something you cannot dream of buying without that money being really useful in a much more critical situation, not having nearly enough money to replace something important that broke or got torn off was frustrating. Some basic things became luxuries out of a sudden.

One day in particular, you very briefly mentioned that you were dying to eat a slice of chocolate cake, but your voice was so small and everyone was so immersed in their duties you thought no one gave two shits to what you said. Two days later, Graham arrived late at rehearsal with a small chocolate cake in his hands, handing it over to you like it was a completely ordinary act. Nothing in the way he acted told you he expected a reward, it was so natural and… gentle. You knew no one in your band could buy a chocolate cake without it being apocalyptic to their personal finances during that time.

That day, you were assured by fate that feeling lost together was better than feeling guided alone.

-

The band finally got on track - strictly musically speaking. Personally speaking, many contemporaries who followed you at parties and other events described you as an ever-growing odd, annoying and intermittently disarming bunch - and Blur and its members became household names, at least in the UK. It became harder and harder everyday to impose yourself as an entire industry and its target public aimed to tear you down. Men couldn’t understand.

(Graham Coxon was the one who tried the hardest to.)

It was four in the morning. You’ve got used to following your bandmates to hospitals, running away from trouble or knowing when to relish in it. But it was the first time you offered yourself to clean up dried blood from one’s face, given how much you hated seeing the fluid and even fainted when younger whenever exposed to it.

You, so delicately, wipe the saline solution-soaked cotton across Graham’s face, who flinches at the cold sensation on his still sensitive skin. He stares at you with the eyes of a child, and you couldn’t help but give him a slight, warm smile in return, which he retributes. Your face conveyed gratitude and affection towards the one you were taking care of. Your hands still struggled to stay completely still after the surge of adrenaline your body received a few hours ago.

Being the only girl in a massive band, and one the music magazines and mainstream media loved sexualizing, meant having paparazzis in your window in odd hours (not that that’s acceptable in any hour, but you had to lower your standards even more these days), meant having different photographers trying to pressure you to get into all kinds of uncomfortable angles with skimpy-ass dresses and just count on the intervention of your fellow bandmates so they would stop, also having invasive male fans who would try to harass you in any way they could.

Of course the day where one of your bandmates would get into a fist fight with one of these men inserted into these categories would come. And even though they were all protective of you, each in their own peculiar, increasingly contradictory way, Graham’s dedication to it was sometimes commendable.

You were making your way through a small corridor of people on your way to the stage when a random guy cupped one of your breasts. It’s not like the venue was incredibly tight, it could not have been on accident and it made your blood boil. You turned around to scream at him, and Graham, who was just behind you, threw a punch directly towards the man’s face, without thinking twice.

And oh boy, took a lot of people and a sweet amount of time to separate the two after that.

After all was said and done, Graham had a few scratches, a black eye and a cut brow. He kept dodging your many “sorrys”, “you didn’t have to do this” and other expressions of guilt. “You have nothing to be sorry about, he deserved it”, he kept assuring you, like a mantra, just giving in to your pleas when you supplicated to take care of his wounds during intermission and after the show.

“I get why you did what you did, Gra. I hate that you took such a risk because of me, but I understand.” you say, voice cracking from not using it for a while after spending some good minutes in complete silence taking care of him. “However,” you soak another cotton ball in the saline solution a roadie got you, punctuating the word with a squeeze to the cotton to remove excess liquid. “I was worried sick about you. What if he… had a knife or something? You could’ve got seriously injured. Or killed.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m perfectly able to have a good fight,” after wincing from the contact of the cold wet cotton with his dried blood, he purses his lips in a forced, shy smile, trying to light up the mood. He notices your hands are still shaking from the adrenaline, and takes one of them in his bigger ones, trying to calm you down. The fact that he did this for you, coupled with the fear and how tired you felt of having to go through that kind of situation once again, made you cry-laugh from how overwhelmed you felt.

His expression changes to one of pure compassion in an instant. “Hey, don’t--oh my,” he gets up from his chair to embrace you as you pour your frustrations through fat tears running down his shoulder.

“It’s so exhausting,” you mumble, through sobs. “Now I’m putting you in danger too. I feel like I did and I’m still doing everything wrong. I should be the one giving you a shoulder to cry on.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong! Anything at all, I promise you,” he says, tenderly, running his hands through your hair, still holding you tight. “It was his fault! I decided it was the right thing to do. You’re worth the risk. What people have been putting you through is unacceptable.”

“I’m not worth the risk!” You break apart from his arms, trying to get your point across. “What would I do without you if someone killed you? You need to be more careful!”

The silence hangs heavy between you two thanks to the weight of your words.

“You should’ve asked me before you lunged at him, at least. I don’t know.” You wipe your many tears as you move towards the nearest bottle of water to try to calm yourself down. “It’ll never end. I’m so afraid that these situations will get even worse. That,” you motion at his wounds and dirty clothes, “is a bloody tragedy. It’s a tragedy things escalated to this point. You can’t do that forever.”

“This is just a consequence. And something I would do for you in a heartbeat whenever necessary.”

“Graham, I don’t want you to get hurt because--”

“They hurt you. I won’t let you go through that alone. Besides,” he comes closer to you again. “As I already told you, I can take care of myself, most of the time.” He takes your face in his hands, his fingers so delicately running across your cheeks to dry your tears. You knew that gesture wasn’t his way of asking you for anything you weren’t ready to give him yet. He just wanted you to feel safe. “And I want to take care of you.”

“I’m the one cleaning your wounds.”

“A great partnership, I think.” Coxon chuckles softly, and finally gets a smile out of you. As he always does. “And they make me look cool, don’t you think?”

“Shut up.” You giggle, still feeling too emotional to return to the stage. You sigh: “Thank you for being there for me. You know I’m still not very used to it. Just please be safe.”

The roadie returns, a little flustered by interrupting your little moment together. “5 minutes and you’re back, guys.”

“Okay!” You both turn to answer her.

“I’ll be. No need to thank me for anything, Y/N.” He answers, giving your forehead a little kiss. “Let’s go.”

“Give me two minutes. I’ll be right behind you.”

-

“What’s it like, being the only woman in the band?”

Four eyerolls at once don’t seem to faze the interviewer. She waits for your response.

Apparently the thousand invasive questions regarding Damon’s love life and the same bullshit treatment of women as either rare specimen or sex dolls is what pleases the audience of music TV shows these days.

“What do you think?” is what you say.

“Must be a thrill to have these beautiful boys around you all the time. And we’ve heard you never even took advantage of it!”

You don’t like where this is heading. “Is that… a bad thing? I don’t know what you mean.”

“Perhaps some of our lady viewers might think it is. No judgement though!” She raises her hands. “You do you, it’s just that it’s quite unexpected to see prudes in non-Christian bands. I mean… from what we’ve heard.”

“I’m sorry? What are you trying to say? What did you hear?”

Her tongue clicks while she stares at you with defiance and mischief on her eyes, as she goes a little further and raises her voice so it can overlay yours. “Oh love. You do know what I’m talking about. There’s no need to be ashamed of being a virgin.”

Your cheek burns intensely and the only thing you wished for was for the ground to swallow you whole. Dave and Graham are especially uncomfortable. Damon’s a bit amused. The three knew almost everything there was to know about you. The one topic that surprisingly they didn’t know about is that you’re still a virgin.

They know you’ve been single for a long time. They know that’s part of what draws so much attention and twisted lore regarding you and your past, but that’s not something they felt they needed to know about you at all, and you truly never felt the need to comment about that with any of them, and they haven’t asked. Not even Mr. “the way to be successful in this game is to make all the boys wanna be you and all the girls wanna sleep with you. In your case that’d work in reverse” Damon Albarn.

“Is that even something that should be discussed in an interview about our music? Is that what your boss told you to ask her about?” Dave answers, his tone venomous.

“Musicians are way more than just music. You’re entertainment in every sense of the word.”

“Who told you that about me?” You asked, not sure if you want to know the answer.

“A lovely elderly lady who lives in Elgin Crescent. She knows you so well.”

That’s your mum. That’s how far low your relationship has degraded. You’re not surprised. That doesn’t feel less like a punch on your gut, but you don’t feel like tumbling again. Not today.

“I know who you’re talking about. Tell her I asked her to go fuck herself and burn in hell. In that order.”

“But that’s your--”

“Yes, she is my mum!” If people are going to expose you anyway, then why don’t you do it on your terms? “We’re truly entertainment in every sense of the word, aren’t we. Not everyone’s mum’s a cunt. Some of us aren’t that lucky.”

“You want to be the next Gallagher sister with the spicy remarks?”

“Not sure. But I do want to be the last person you ever get to interview.”

-

The management of the band wasn’t at all surprised your interview became UK’s topic of the week. People were heavily divided between family is family and we shouldn’t hate our relatives and blood isn’t everything, family can be shitty too. Your bandmates were proud of you. The management was angry but tried to understand, and didn’t press you for further explanations. They suggested a two-week break from everything so Blur could rest their image and start a fresh cycle after that, and you gracefully accepted it.

The whole thing seemed so ridiculous the more you thought about it. Did your mum tell the reporter about that gratuitously? What was their conversation like? How did that even happen?

You became the butt of jokes in some places. You saw other famous people doing challenges between them, countdowns, all sorts of crude remarks. What a pathetic, sad chapter of your career.

You dial Graham, and you feel like your heart was about to burst out of your chest.

“Hey, Gra. It’s me.”

“Hey, Y/N.” He sounds pleasantly surprised. “How's it going?”

“Better, I guess. I have to take my mind off all that chaos though. Are you available right now?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve been owing me a movie night for quite a while now and I miss spending time with you. Wanna come over?”

“Aww. Sure, I--um. Do you want me to bring anything?”

“I’m pretty sure I got everything we need here--ah… I think I don’t have any more beers.”

“I’ll buy some then. See ya in a few minutes.”

Actually, you couldn’t take all that chaos off your mind because that was the only thing in it. You’re feeling so nervous.

The main reasons sex wasn’t a priority for you until now were:

You didn’t have any real opportunities of losing your virginity in your teens. You were impossibly introspective until, like, 3, 4 years ago, and the way your family worked hasn’t really allowed you to get really close to people. Be it boyfriends, girlfriends or just friends. Anything that threatened to take time off the various tasks and classes your parents assigned to you just couldn’t be part of your life. To be honest, you still struggled a bit to form meaningful connections with people thanks to how you grew up.

The moment you stopped being shy, you noticed it was a real man’s world out there, especially in music, classical or not. You didn’t want anyone to think you fucked your way up to the top, you didn’t want any messy affairs. Also, you had yourself, and you didn’t get all of the hype regarding the concept of screwing someone. But apparently there’s a lot you’ve been missing, given the importance people seem to give to it. After that incident, even though you swore to yourself you wouldn’t give in to any kind of misogynistic pressure, that was one that really got under your skin.

You never really found someone who you felt 100% safe with in that sense until the one who’s about to arrive at your house appeared in your life. Bloody hell, and you don’t even have anything romantic going on. By the time you were a Blur member, you’ve fooled around a bit, but not all the way. You knew how to kiss, knew how to touch yourself and even brought manual satisfaction to some random fool you thought you were into one time. But perhaps this is the time to go all the way. Why not? Everyone knew how close you two were. He made you feel special. He was so kind. And gorgeous. And--

You hear a knock on your door. It’s him. Beers in hand, hair somewhat in place, twitchy as ever.

He comes inside and you feel like your legs will give up anytime. It was not the first time he visited you. It was one of many, actually, and he noticed you were acting… different.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He asks after a brief dialogue between you two, after plating some snacks for both of you.

“Graham...” You sigh, being really careful with your words. “What is your perception of me?”

“My perception of you?” He smiles. “I… think you’re great. You’re fun to be around. You’re one of the best musicians I know, if not the best. Why are you asking me that?”

“N-nothing. It’s nothing. Also, I asked the wrong question. What was your first perception of me?”

“Uh… the day of your audition?”

“Exactly. You barely talked to me that day.”

His eyes lower to his own feet. “I was really timid, actually. I wasn’t used to being near any girl, especially one who… w-would spend so much time around me if everything went well.”

You giggle. “I thought you hated me.”

“Never!” his smile turns into a full blown laughter. You melt at his confession. “Also because it seemed like you were trying to read my mind or something.”

“Of course! Because I thought you hated me!” Now that was a laughter you two shared. You do a voice: “‘Why is that pesky girl trying to get in my band?’”

“My goodness, no! I don’t even sound like that - you know what, I changed my mind. You suck. Because, besides the fact you don’t even know what I sound like, you still haven’t told me why you are asking me that in the first place.”

You couldn’t help but notice how he slightly cornered you physically in one of the kitchen corridors. Graham could be really persuasive when he wanted to.

“Okay. Right. Um. I’ve been thinking about some stuff.”

“What, exactly?”

“Everything that happened this month. The great virginity debacle,” you roll your eyes, and he scoffs.

“You don’t own anyone any information about what you do or don't do with your life. Everyone’s being so invasive. That was incredibly childish of the reporter to do, and we talked about that hundreds of times.”

“Yeah, but… you know what, forget it.”

“Tell me, Y/N. I just said that because I want you to know you were not in the wrong.”

“I know. It’s just… I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s silly for me to… keep closing myself for affection. Any kind of affection.”

“What are you talking about?” His brows furrowed in curiosity.

“I’m not sure if it’s the pressure that finally got under my skin, but… I’m willing to learn what all the fuss is about. Maybe it’s silly that I’m still a virgin.”

He bites his lips, still processing what you just said, expression unreadable. Perhaps you’ve treaded a ground you shouldn’t. You step back both literally and figuratively. “I’m sorry I even brought that up--”

“No, no, don’t be.” He assures you. “I’m just… surprised, that’s all. I swear.”

“And...” You know what. You already went too far, so why not go all the way. You’ve already gone way past the point of no return. “I was wondering if… you would… popmycherry?”

His eyes widen, yours still closed. When you finally open them, he’s closer to you again.

If his head was a machine, you’re sure it would be releasing lots of steam and shaking due to overprocessing. You felt like you just ruined everything.

“Y/N, you don’t need to do it if you don’t really want to.”

“But I want it! At first I thought I didn’t, but then I thought...”

“I don’t want to be part of that if you’re just doing it to fulfill weird expectations.”

“But it’s not that. Not just... that. I asked about your perception of me because I really like you, Gra. I think we should be more than friends and I wanted to know what you think about me. And I want to know what the fuss is about, yes, but I’m not telling you that just so I can lose my virginity to prove some point. I’m telling you that because I like you, I want to kiss you, and I think it would be a great idea if you showed me what it’s like. Y-you know, sex.”

“I-I can’t believe it. Did you even have any movie in mind?” His smile’s back, but you’re still not confident about what his answer will be.

“I didn’t. I’m sorry. You don’t have to--”

He sighs. “I was in love with you the moment I first saw you, actually.” He says it like he’s releasing a huge load out of his back, his arms crossed. Now your eyes widen, and you hold your breath without even noticing. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured. I know how you feel, or, felt about relationships, so… there wasn’t any reason for me to tell you that. And what I said about being timid was just half of the truth.”

“Huh?”

“I also was really intimidated by how pretty you looked. You can’t imagine how.”

“No way.”

“It’s true. I felt like I wasn’t even worthy of looking at you, really.”

“You’re joking. That’s mean, Gra.”

“I’m not. I’m really not.” He doesn’t look like he is joking. He looks relieved. “I’m really not. That’s why I’m so surprised by your request.”

“I’m nothing special.”

“You are everything to me. But I can’t accept your offer, not now.”

“Are you… seeing someone? Am I too late?”

“No. Definitely not. I just want you to be sure you’re not doing it because people are saying you should.”

“Graham, I’m a grown woman.”

“I know.”

Graham carefully presses his slightly chapped lips to yours, kissing you for a few precious, heart stopping seconds before pulling away; his voice is impossibly silky when he suggests, “Let’s watch a movie. How about The Godfather? I heard it’s airing tonight. Then, if in two weeks you don’t change your mind, tell me and I’ll be glad to help you with what you want. Do we have a deal?”

“That’s so unfair. I want you so bad.” You whisper.

“Tell me if you still do in two weeks.”

You sigh, defeated. “...Deal.”

-

You definitely notice the subtle shift in Graham’s personality and actions after that fateful night. If you were already close, both figuratively and literally, it now seemed like he would use any excuse to always touch you, be near you, sometimes tease you. The shift was subtle, though, don’t forget it’s still Graham Coxon we’re talking about - the constant “is it okay if”s or “is it alright if I”s were still there, as careful as ever. You don’t even talk about your deal that entire time, or even kiss again - sometimes you wondered if it was even real or just a fabrication of your mind.

The way he now caressed your hand discreetly when you listened to Damon’s ramblings, the way his hands now went directly to your waist when your games became too handsy, the way he seemed to be madly in love with everything you were and still are from the start - made you realize you were ready for this man to be a consistent part of your life.

The dust of the controversy was settled, and your own intentions were 100% clear to you now. The societal pressure has waned. The need for Graham to be your first persisted. After exactly 2 weeks have passed, you call him again, yearning to share the answer with him.

One beep.

Two beeps.

Three beeps.

Four beeps. “Hello?”

You release a sigh hidden deep inside of your lungs. “Graham, it’s Y/N.”

“Oh. It’s been two weeks.” You could hear the contemplative tone of his voice.

“...Yeah. That’s precisely the reason I’m calling you.”

“Do you still want to…?”

“...Desperately.”

“Ok.” He chuckles, flustered as hell on the other side of the phone, probably one of the prettiest sounds you’ve ever heard. “Right. Ok. Your place or mine?”

“I think there’ll be an element of mystery if I go to your place this time.” You lose some of the constraints this silly shyness has been tying you on. “Do you have everything we might need there?”

“We don’t need a dungeon, you know.”

“The basics.” You make your smile heard.

“I do have… I do have the basics.”

“See you in a few minutes then.”

“Will you want to… ease into it? Or just go straight to it?”

“God, don’t make it awkward!” Your cheeks burn, your smile turning into contagious laughter. “Maybe… I don’t know. Ease into it, I guess? A movie night… but with s-something else?”

“Okay. Sounds good.”

“Alright then. See you.”

“See you.”

-

You don’t choose any particularly fancy or sexy clothes, instead settling for a slightly oversized yellow striped shirt he gave you as a birthday present some months ago and some skirt that fit you well. He wasn’t one to lavish his loved ones with gifts all the time, but few things were as precious as the look on his face whenever he saw you wearing something he gave you or, hell, even eating something he paid for you. You’re thrilled to see it again when he opens the door for you, it easing some of your deepest doubts.

2001: A Space Odyssey is already playing on the TV when you arrive. Despite it being one of your favorite movies of all time, and his, you’re not mad it was already halfway through when you arrived. It wasn’t your main priority to rewatch it for the 17th time tonight.

He offers you some wine, which you accept to ease the nerves. You sit on his couch, and he shares the cozy space with you, now mindlessly throwing one of his arms around your shoulders. You cuddle up to him, and everything seems peaceful in the world for a while.

The tip of his fingers softly caress your lifted knee, absentmindedly. You couldn’t help but notice how well his body fits with yours, how your skin was apparently made for him to touch, and the anxiety rumbles in your stomach like a storm in a wild wavy sea. After some minutes, you raise your head, his big brown eyes meeting yours as if asking you a silent question. You leaned up a bit more to press your lips to his, in a silent answer. The sweetness in him makes this moment as precious as every other moment you ever shared with him. His hands enter your hair, making you shiver a bit from the unfamiliarity and the electricity of it all - but it doesn’t sway you from deepening the kiss, wanting more of his taste, more of this, more of him.

“Do you wanna take this to the bed?” He whispers, after noticing your moans were becoming more frequent and needy. You nod, and you are taken by surprise when he carries you bridal style to it, hiding your excited giggles in his broad shoulders.

Graham wasn’t exactly the most organized man in the world - so the fact that his bedroom was now impossibly tidy was something that positively caught your attention. He put some planning into this. He lays you down and you part your legs, beckoning him to meet you between them. He does, and you go back to the breathtaking makeout session. You notice he’s holding himself back a bit, taking his time, his warm tongue moving smoothly, not hurriedly, against yours. His self control falters a bit though, given how he can’t stop grinding against you. You follow the rhythm of his hips a bit timidly and not nearly as in sync as you’d really like, though the pressure his covered cock is creating against your core can already be felt and some particular thrusts are able to fill at least partially the aching, wet need growing within you.

“How do you feel about oral?” He asks, breath warm near your ear, his voice raspy and spent by his desire for you.

“Um… It would be my first time receiving or doing it.”

“Would you like me to go down on you?”

“Wow. I never thought I would hear you saying something like that.” You smile, still assimilating the situation you’re in, trying not to show how badly his voice is affecting you. “Sure.”

“I never thought I would get to propose this to you. Aren’t we full of surprises lately.” He smiles back, warmly. He notices your hands trembling a bit from how anxious you are while you’re taking off your underwear with his help, and as he lowers himself to where you need him most, he takes your hands in his as an act of reassurance. “Tell me what you like. Tell me if what I’m doing works for you. I want this to be a great experience.”

“You want me to get addicted to you, that’s what you want,” He chuckles, lovingly kissing your thigh as a reply. “Okay, Gra. Guess I’ll find out along the way.”

You quickly take a peak below you to see the lower half of his face disappear in the middle of your thighs. The sight alone sets your fire ablaze, as he hooks his arms around your thighs and lifts you closer to his mouth, his lips ghosting over the curls between your legs tantalizingly and his breath catching when your hips jerk forward.

As he begins his ministrations, you immediately notice it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt. That feeling was completely alien to you. It was even wetter than you expected, and weird, but powerfully pleasant. Before this exact moment, you had a firm belief that hardly anyone else would make you feel the same way, or better, than you do yourself, but apparently you were very wrong. Thankfully you were wrong. “My god,” you gasp as the flat of his tongue drags over your folds, too much and not enough, and you jerk at the contact. “This is great. So weird, but-- great.”

He moans at your response, his movements carefully enthusiastic. He works his tongue between your folds and traces up to curl the tip of it around your clit, and it’s quite endearing and madly arousing to see how he eats out you like you’re the sweetest and tastier dessert he has ever tasted. You involuntarily buck against him with a desperate sound the moment he moves his tongue and lips in a particularly wicked way, something that definitely doesn’t go unnoticed by him, but you still feel the need to highlight in case it didn’t - “That. Keep doing that, please,”

And he does. The building of this climax is also different than the ones you already had by your own hands, and is more coy. As he sees the drops of sweat sliding along your soft skin and the expressions on your face as you get lost in this new but enchanting sensations, his hesitation and self-control fades away; there’s nothing uncertain in the way he buries his face in your cunt now, nothing restrained in the groan he lets out as he devours you and drinks you down as if you’re the first stream of water he has seen in days.

His tongue glides deeper in your folds again and again, swirling up through the wetness you’re coated with to tease at your clit while he grunts and strains closer, squeezing your thighs with both hands tight. The wave of heat inside of you is cresting so fast, you don't even know how to tell him, how to signal that you’re nearly done for and, in the end, it happens too fast to even try. He sucks at your clit, circling it with his tongue, once, twice, and then you’re crying out, shaking underneath him, trying to keep your thighs from clenching too hard around his head as he laps you through it with with urgent whimpers and moans, as if he cannot have enough of you.

You’re still trembling when he rises, the look on his face revealing to you how proud he feels by making you feel this way. It looks so good on him.

You fail miserably at the simple task of connecting words together after that, choosing instead to collect your remaining strength, prop yourself up and beckon him again to keep kissing him and learn, through his talented tongue, how you taste. He kisses the thin fabric of the shirt at your chest that covers you from view, your throat, your jaw, and before he reaches your impatient lips, he notes, sinfully, “Seems like you enjoyed yourself, love.”

“That was… unbelievable. Stars, I want to make you feel good too. Please show me how.”

“Keep kissing me,” he begs, voice still strained from how aroused he is. “I want to be inside you so bad. Let’s get you prepared.” You’re still so sensitive, you tread on overstimulation when his fingers lightly touch your clit, making you break the kiss in a hiss. He traces a line on your folds, inspecting the impact his mouth had on you. “So wet for me.”

“Bit slower, Gra,” He complies to your breathy plea, his fingers now more tame as he slowly spreads your wetness throughout your pussy. He stretches towards the nightstand to grab a bottle of lube, interrupting his contact to spread some on his fingers before unhurriedly slipping his middle finger inside of you. The coldness of the gel makes you shiver in surprise, the easiness brought by it very welcomed. Again - the sensation is odd. Completely unfamiliar. The feeling of having something inside of you for the first time, going further than you ever dared to try, probing, exploring; the coldness of the lube clashing against your burning hot cunt. But it also felt nice. The focused look on his face was adorable, he looked like he was a scientist in the middle of very complex research.

Despite the panting, the messy hair and the fire in his eyes.

Your body already has a lot of new sensations to process simultaneously, so when he asks you to take off your bra and shirt so his tongue can work on your nipples - which you gladly accept, you feel like you’re on sensual overload. His tongue, again, so talented, takes your mind off the slight burning you feel when he introduces his ring finger to your soaked, throbbing core, his focused, carefully overpowering and constant stimulation driving you insane.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, voice muffled by your breast. You nod, carried by the wave of pleasure sweeping you.

“Yes. God, yes.” You pant, tangling your fingers tightly on his thick hair as an encouragement, a desperate sound escaping from your lips the moment he reaches a certain point within you you didn’t even know existed, hot mouth continuing to lick and suck your nipple. Even though you were spent by your last orgasm, he was indeed getting you addicted to those new feelings, and even though this was heavenly, truly heavenly, you needed more. “Gra, I’m ready, I think.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. Please.”

Releasing your nipple from his lips with a sounding pop, he eagerly frees himself from his trousers - hard as a brick - and puts protection and lubrication on, swiftly positioning himself between your thighs while stroking himself to the sight in front of him. You motion to take off your skirt, and he holds your hand, not letting you. “Don’t. It’ll be really hot to fuck you in this.” He confesses, giving your forehead a kiss in a very different context than before. He aligns his forehead with yours, each of your lips just barely touching while you breathe each other’s air. He looks deep into your eyes, slowly running the tip of his cock between the slick folds of your pussy, coating himself in the remnants of your pleasure. “Do you trust me?”

You trust me to know your limits? Not to go any further if you don’t really want me to?

“Absolutely.”

The only response you get from him is a shuddering, helpless moan into your mouth and you hold him tighter to you, grinding your still sensitive cunt up against his cock while he pulls hard at the soft fur next to your head. You feel your soaking pussy lips part around the solid curve of his length and gradually coat the underside of him in slick with every gentle circle and roll your hips make, as he finally pulls away from your mouth to drop his forehead to your neck. He then, very slowly, penetrates you, stopping when he hears the noises you make indicating you’re struggling to adjust to his presence. Out of everything you’ve felt in the last minutes, this was by far the most painful sensation. “This-- is new,” you note, your face completely incapable of hiding the discomfort. He also notices that.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?”

“It’s okay. I’ll get used to it.”

“It’s not supposed to be about endurance, you know.” He says, a bit breathless and worried, caressing your hair. “Tell me when it’s okay to move. Or if you feel too much pain.”

After some long seconds and some deep breaths, you say: “Okay. Go on.”

“As you wish.”

He moves inside you at a very slow pace, the lubrication clearly making it easier for you to handle it. It still hurts, significantly, but the sensation of being filled is also surprisingly arousing.

His hand moves to your sensitive clit again in small, measured circles, your little moans being a mixture of the pain of penetration and the sheer ecstasy of seeing him falling apart because of you. The way his chest heaves while the drops of sweat start pearling his fair skin, the furrowed brows and broken groans, the thickness of him as he rests heavy up against your entrance, the way his voice presses deliciously tight in his throat as he gasps out into the quiet room - everything’s making your chest burst in love and satisfaction. You tighten your grip around him and roll your hips up into his cock, letting it break you open nice and slow; it stretches you wide with a deliciously sharp fullness and pleasure rips through you, and Graham becomes even more vocal as he picks up a steady and gradually faster pace. He turned all of your keys, it’s about time you turn some of his.

“Graham, deeper,” you whimper, continuing to tighten your legs and hoist yourself up, lifting your hips to take his cock deeper inside you. His name rips itself from your throat while Coxon clenches his jaw and starts to lose himself in the pleasure, holding you down into the bed while he allows your desperation to guide him to the perfect angle and speed to sate you. He found denying you to be impossible.

He snarls and curses as he holds you down and rails you, determined to make you sing again before he finishes, and to his delight, your heightened sensitivity gives him what he wants. And this time, he couldn't hold on.

Graham kisses you one last time as he groans and gives in, head dropping to your neck again. You didn’t reach a second climax, but stars, what an experience you just had.

When he comes back to himself enough to realise he still had you practically folded in half, he carefully pulls his softening cock free, taking the condom off and taking the strands of hair out of your face as you struggle to catch your breath. You suggest a shared bath, a suggestion he gladly accepts.

Too tired and too sore for pillow talk, comfortable silence falls as your hand finds his, and you lay, listening to each other’s breathing slowly settle.

I could get used to his little snore on my chest, is the last thought that twinkles on your mind before you fall asleep snuggled with him.

[with-the-same-tattoos]

Yk specifically the like. Thing that attracted me 2 Peter Lukas is like. Ok he is funny and silly yes.... he has a v soothing voice... but this line from The Last rly cemented it for me:

"The thing is, the loneliness I crave, that fills my heart with that reassuring unease, relies on distance from other people. But a world without people at all, or at least anything I would recognize as people…? It is meaningless. Without the lighted window in the distance, how am I to see myself apart from it? No. Such a world would be terribly dull, and scares me in a very different way. A fear I am happy to offer up, of course, but one that I would prefer not come to pass..

It hints to. Sm more complexity. His loneliness is dependant on other people, which really made me concider the whole idea of what being lonely really is. Bc to me personally it is being without, entirely, being unaffected by everyone else. But that's also like, a dreamy loneliness. That's like, a loneliness that u hope for. The dependant type of loneliness that Peter talks abt is like, to me, the unpleasant version. It's much more abt being in relation to other people, and I see it as more of a different way of communicating with others than being lonely.

Thats theoretical stuff BUTA SLO LIKE baby boy. What does that MEAN. What else does this MEAN. What other things do your heart desire that u STAY AWAY FROM. It's kinda in a weird contrast to him saying that he didn't care about even books etc, he just wanted to be alone, etc, it's kind of like. Wym you both are completely disinterested in communicatinf w this world but also completely dependant on communicating w this world. Whar does it MEAN, (song plays) yk........ sir.

[matoitech]

Different anon but I would love to hear more about how Galo being autistic affects his relationship with Aina

oh i would love to talk about this cuz i think its an interesting example we have of galo being autistic and most other characters not rly making much effort to understand where hes coming from or connect w him! so first i gotta mention that in canon theres a lot of wiggle room for interpretation with aina and her and galos relationship just due to how little time its given, but to me it FEELS like they want her to be a parallel to galo (ESPECIALLY true w the lake scene) so sometimes she comes off more as like, also autistic and just doesnt rly mesh in communication styles or understanding why her own attempts at reaching out 2 galo arent working (same as he struggles w his relationship w aina and other ppl, and why theres so many songs abt him and lio Getting Each Other) so like autistic in an opposite direction from him, and sometimes (esp in the ova) it feels like shes meant to b read as allistic and thats why they arent rly meshing. i think the latter is probably more likely to be the intention but the former can b a lot of fun cuz autistic aina <3 anyway moving on

so like to make this more organized im gonna skim thru the ova and the major scene w them from the movie, galo and burning rescue meet in his ova when he introduces himself to them by way of bringing up his special interests and what he assumes are their shared passion for firefighting and everything that goes along w that. ive talked abt this b4 w this scene, but galo bringing his special interests in2 the convo right away and introducing them alongside himself is both a super common autistic way to try to connect w people as well as say hey this is what im about. that obviously doesnt go that well as we get our first introduction of how burning rescue is gonna treat him for the ova and duration of the movie, aina included, in being kind of rude to him (except remi whose very ableist compared to the others) abt it n immediately treating him like an idiot for trying to communicate w them the way thats natural for him. this kind of solidifies how theyll talk abt him and communicate w him for the movie, even as they gain some respect 4 him for saving thyma they dont change how they talk w/about him

im not gonna go over everything in the movie but the lake scene w galo and aina has the very obvious purpose of showing that galo isnt interested in like the potential woman love interest the movie is pushing at him but IS interested in lio, it also serves various other functions some of which being 1) exposition 2) introducing galo and aina as being more alike (paralleled even) than they can rly understand thru their previous attempts at getting 2 know each other 3) SHOWING more how aina and galo have not rly gotten along b4 and showing thru their faltering attempts 2 connect that even if they have stuff in common this is not the romance u r going to get i this movie and they just dont like each other like that

aina and galos communication styles and humor both feel different to me and dont mesh that well, theyre both blunt tho in different ways (aina even told heris galo was ‘honest and too blunt for his own good’ which i think is funny coming from her lol) like galo tries to be expressive and hes got this thing abt Proving himself while aina more quietly does her own thing, galos rly genuine and doesnt rly get that other ppl might not b being genuine (which is smth kr*y took advantage of to lie to him and manipulate him), aina however is rly dry so it comes off as barbed when i think its unintentional and while there r points when shes kind of mean i dont think shes like, going out of her way to hurt his feelings i just think she doesnt rly recognize that galo.. HAS feelings? theres a certain way burning rescue (and in general other characters in promare) treat galo where hes dismissed as being just an idiot for.. being autistic rly and i think thats just smth aina did b4 they had more of a chance to talk one on one and make more of an effort. i dont think she rly treats him the same way she did in the start of the movie and the ova as she does the further the movie goes on. they just didnt know each other very well and no one rly made much of an effort w him b4 then

the long and short of it is that from what we see in the movie it affects his relationship w aina a very similar way it does w burning rescue as general (they function sort of like a single character at times) and galo and aina having dif communication styles (galos very explicitely bcuz he is autistic) shows in making it harder for him to have like, genuine connections and relationships bcuz while galo and aina both sometimes try to extend olive branches to each other (like i think they have trouble getting along but it helped to find common ground) them not rly understanding each other or why the other person does things the way they do was smth intentionally included 4 the straightbaiting bit to work and showing galo and aina wouldnt rly work together and galo and lio r more like. attracted to/intrigued by/instinctively understanding of each other and have that compelling them to get to know each other, n their experiences lend them dif levels of respect towards each other that galo and his coworkers never had. in a way even tho aina made an effort w galo later he had kind of moved on from trying to be friends with his coworkers by then and pursued his relationship w lio instead (again lots of dif reasons they get each other and vibed on a dif level than he had w other ppl, the obvious among them being theyre gay 4 each other lol), tho thats not set in stone n after the events of the movie maybe they can b friends now

anyway umm yes i think post promare galo and aina find ways to communicate better and i would like for them to be friends but like galo being autistic is legitimately the reason trigger gave for him getting off on the wrong foot with burning rescue lmao. it definitely affects his relationship w aina in that way even tho i think she started being more receptive 2 his way of communicating later on. hope this somewhat answered ur question, i have a lot of dif ways of viewing their relationship and characters. as always if anyone has specifics u want elaborated on or has smth 2 add i would luv to hear it

[vinnival]

rating my coworkers bc im procrastinating on schoolwork

jess- 7/10 my trainer!!! v v nice, I think she's a lesbian? idk she has a puppy and let me pet it when she brought it in on her off day once. points off bc I almost never see her anymore bc I work on weekends only . come back mom

christina- 6/10 we're cool n she's newer than me but I just don't feel like I could carry on a convo with her? not in a bad way I'm just. We have different vibes I think

charkissa- 8/10 went to orientation w me, we talk and joke a lot but again, I don't see her too much. very friendly with everyone and drove me to work when she saw I was walking in the heat one time <3

richard- 6.5/10 omg he recognized my fnf songs as my alarms and he's into fnf as well! !! I was :O (he recognized zavodila and stress),,,, now I'm hoping he'll recognize my hank costume when I wear it 4 halloween.....

ame (uh-mee)- 5.5/10 gave me weird vibes at first but he just wants to seem friendly !! I like talking to him bc he seems like a guy who genuinely doesn't judge you for stuff. Plus he wears a neat little cap sometimes hohoe

amy- 7/10 she's SO funny, she loves screwing around with the regulars and with her coworkers (all friendly banter ofc), has a mischievous side to her as well! she gives off extreme wine aunt energy (and probably is one tbh, in the best way possible)

mike/alonso- 6/10 the only other minors alongside me that work there, they're pretty chill! I like working with them :)

ashley- 6.5/10 she's shorter than me yet she's one of my managers I think that's so funny tbh /lh. she's very sweet! calls people hun and stuff and gives off big sister vibes,, some customers have smack talked about her sometimes and says she's a little too sweet? like to the point she seems cocky? idk people are so cynical sometimes

matt- 7.5/10 shoutout to this mf. As he's one of my managers, I always seem to bother him the most when I needed a supervisor to give me numbers to check out alcohol/cigarettes. he's chill and always sports this man bun, also likes joking around but it's not prominent.

nicholas- 8/10 we just started actually talking today! he's v friendly and he's pretty well-versed in video games for the age he is (no offense to 23-yr-olds) also is in a band. he's funny and is also good at math...

zion- 9/10 this dude is teaching me how to do some cool scanning gun tricks, like flipping it in my hand and stuff, also reeeally funny and specifically we like to pick on each other bc yeah. very jolly dude! also was coworkers w my dad when he used 2 work at my store

pennie- 7.5/10 the one that hired me! omg she gives off mom energy so bad. she got me water when I was thirsty <3 also very friendly (and very ... quirky? yeah .)

ally- 7.5/10 helped me set up everything with my job oml I love her sm . she's a cancer survivor and is expecting!! she says the baby is due in november i think ? She's also v friendly and likes to go back and forth w pennie because they're v close

karen- 7/10 okay for someone named karen shes actually v nice and cool to be around! we haven't talked much outside of work terms n stuff but she teaches me lil things here n there

rosetta- 6.5/10 another coworker who used to work alongside my dad, she's more on the shy and keep-to-herself side, which thank GOD because I'm the same way . taught me how to register checks as payment options <3

I wish I got his actual name bc I don't want to deadname him and refer to him as the name on his namecard- 8.5/10 he gave me gel pens!!!! 100 of them!!!! He's rly cool and he smack talks the store to me I think it's so funny tbh they're nice to be around

[THE MFS I NEVER SEE ANYMORE]

lucas- 5/10 only bc I saw him like twice and never again. Come back I wanna hear u sing sea shanties :( I hope u didn't actually die/hsrs (it's complicated to explain, in short, he's kind of a daredevil? ? ? ??? ??)

destiny- 4/10 she was cool at first but. I think,, she's dating one of the minors...? she might be 18/19 and alonso is still a minor (I think 17?) so... uhm... its not EXTREMELY bad but good thing she quit idk if I'd feel comfy around her .

[unravelling-the-world]

random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie.  back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time.  i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.

[spitfirs]

┆ ——  did you hear about how RICHIE TOZIER moved to sinking rock ?  HE is 20 and i get the feeling that you could best describe him with the ache in your eyes after keeping them open too long, the click of buttons in an  arcade, the bitter taste of sarcasm, the smooth roll of curses slipping through your lips, the feeling of laughter bubbling up in the back of your throat, an endless stream of pop culture references, the careless ease of riding a bike down an empty street, the rush of performing for your friends, the satisfaction of making them laugh....  the last thing he remembers was MAKING A BLOOD OATH WITH THE LOSER'S CLUB.  

THEN ---

richie tozier is a trashmouth. that’s a universal constant. 

he was born in derry, maine in 1976. he was an only child.

his mother always wanted a girl but his father accepted his son with open arms and even encouraged his impressions and comedy

growing up, richie was bullied because of his glasses. 

he had a few friends who also weren’t very popular. the group grew to be called the loser’s club. 

when he’s 12, the losers first encounter IT: a child-eating clown creature in that lives in the sewers

they fight It and eventually send it back into the sewers, weakened. 

richie’s first memory of this life, his past life, is after the battle, when the loser’s club makes a blood oath to come back and defeat It when It comes back to haunt derry once more. 

NOW ---

all of his memories from before that summer was over have come back to him in pieces. he remembers his parents, the clown, the club, the bullies, his friends, the violence, the horror. but they’ve all come as dreams, which makes him less than inclined to believe them. he’s still not sure how real they could be. he just knows he recognizes some of the faces from those dreams....

still, not much has changed with richie, other than the shift in which time period he lives in.

he is still a loudmouth who thinks he’s funny and, sometimes, he actually is funny. 

depending on how you feel about people who don’t shut up, can’t sit still, and try to make a joke out of everything, richie is either the best or worst person. you choose, i guess.

has adhd but isn’t medicated for it.

wears contacts now! the big bottle cap glasses rarely see the light of day anymore, rip.

he is gay. it’s kind of a secret though, shh. 

interests include: rock music, awful patterned clothes, doing often unsuccessful impressions, video games, & scary movies, among other things.

the song that best describes him is TYPICAL STORY by HOBO JOHNSON 

i don't think i know much but i know i couldn't take a good punch. so if you feel like i've been talking enough, just tell me to shut up and i will gladly shut the fuck up!

... and last i knew, he was working as a COMMENTARY YOUTUBER. 

richie’s always been good at impressions and at making people laugh pissing people off. so, after high school, after dropping out of college, he combines both his talents to critique videos on the internet. he’s somewhat successful. he doesn’t let it go to his head though, it was already big enough to begin with.

i wonder how he’s going to cope with the oncoming disasters considering he tends to CRACK CRUDE JOKES. 

he earned the nickname trashmouth for a reason --- he can barely speak without throwing a curse or a crude joke into every sentence, even when it’s a stressful situation. and he is, despite everything, a coward. whoops.

plots ideas!

childhood... crushes? exes? --- i imagine richie trying to date girls at one point in his childhood. imagine... little kid dates! going to dances together! hanging out at the park! stuff like that. but it never ended well because... richie was well on his way to realize that he didn’t like girls, full stop. 

crushes/exes... but this time men --- when he hit his late teens, he started accepting that yeah, he liked men. so he started dating some... in secret. he’s not very open about his private life in general but even less so about this.

siblings? --- it would be cool for him to have siblings @ sinking rock. he’d be a nightmare of a brother, though, so, y’know. apply at own risk.

an enemy? --- like i said, he’s either the best or the worst and for this person? richie is the worst. can’t even stand to look at him. maybe connected to the next connection, which is....

people who know him from his youtube --- he’s semi famous, maybe about 800k subs? enough to be recognizable to certain circles. it’d be neat if people were either fans or hated his videos. maybe he reacted to your character’s video & it was either a good-natured roast or it was mean-spirited. this one’s rly open!

anything else & everything else! childhood neighbors, high school friends, college roommates from that brief time he was in college before he dropped out!! just connect w this trashmouth & i will love you!!!

[transrightsjimin]

writing down my memories from the concert before i forget

i had two trains that didnt go so i went with the third one and arrived at the time the hall would open, but it opened an hour later so that was alright

dreamcatcher is really good live bc i enjoyed the concert a lot even if there were metalhead dudes yelling to through the girls talking like we were at a fucking music bank show and they performed only two songs from the last album and not the two best songs, just like bts did stkkgsogkss

but rly they were so good like their dancing looked so graceful and powerful and effortless (i sadly couldnt hear their live voices over the bgm often) and they were very gay (flirting nd grinding and someone smacked the other's ass zjfsggsjsf) and very fun w the fans and joked abt starting a moshpit and they said they wanted to come back to amsterdam to drink bc it's the city of heineken beer and they wanted to drink it together (insert a bandmember doing motions of drinking an entire bottle) and they were just so funny and i fucking died when dami took out her staff out of thin air like that was SO cool and they did a cover of TWICE - TT and red velvet - bad boy!!! legends!!

and just when i thought the songs in the first part of the concert were a bit too calm, they did their more metal songs in the encore and we could jump more zgkzggkz yes

they also said insomnias recognized them in the city but were polite enough to not approach them abd the group re-enacted that and it was so cute gskgskskf

and at the end i stood much closer to the stage but at the side so i didnt see half the group and i didnt appear in the group photo but thats ok lmao

handong wasnt present so they used a sign of her face and held the mic to it during her parts in some songs 🥺

there was also a lottery (the prize was signed albums) where they would pick audience members by picking a number related to ppls spots and the numbers were supposed to be on wristbands we were supposed to get but a lot of ppl including me didnt have it so the members kept drawing numbers until they had all 12 winners and it mustve been so awkward for them like they prob thought a lot of ppl left or smth 😭

[howllscastle]

🕊️ bias tag

i was tagged by @forehead-enthusiast to list my biases and just,, describe them? talk about them? yeah something along those lines

and since this will get long i’ll put it under the cut also some spicy changes to the bias list below check if u have any interest 

the ult ult

huang renjun (nct): the light of my life (hahahjas get it ,,, i’m sorry), i would DIE for him, i would go STRAIGHT for him, a pure ball of light that also tears people apart for fun. has the prettiest and i mean PRETTIEST voice known to the universe, i literally just sit and listen to his radio shows while doing work and not even caring that i can’t understand him bc i love listening to him that much. and don’t even get me STARTED on his singing voice oh my god it’s so smooth and pretty and angelical and just- wow. sm we need a renjun solo album NOW. and he’s literally? so smart? and intellectual? despite only being 19 he has such great life advice? i’d pay him to be my therapist despite him not being a therapist. he may seem like a sarcastic little typical aries but he cares for his members so much, chenle and jisung are literally his children, sicheng is literally his older brother, i can’t. ok this is getting way too long i’ll shut up now

other ults but not huang renjun level ults

na jaemin (nct): where do i even begin with na jaemin, he’s a ray of sunshine, a very whiny sunshine, but sunshine nonetheless. he is also a comedic genius but unlike renjun who’s snarky and sarcastic and witty, jaemin is just plain weird. he’s so dumb but in the cutest and most endearing way. his love for his fellow members is absolutely PRECIOUS can they pls accept his hugs and kisses pls. and the way he loves nctzens oh my god we Literally don’t deserve him. like at all. and his TALENT. the legend jumped out. his verse in go and the opening of we go up send me into another dimension. ok before i go on and on and on i’ll stop here

moonbyul (mamamoo): a new addition to the ult list, she’s taken over my heart insanely fast. i even have a counter that started the day i realized she’s my mamamoo bias . it’s only been 13 days. N E WAYS. whenever i see her my heart just?? feels so full? and content?? and happy?? and warm?? she’s a literal goddess, i’d gladly idk,, sacrifice myself for her. and we can’t Not talk about her VOICE. whenever i her lines come up in songs i have a meltdown. but u know what RLY gets to me??? how she’s gotten so much more confident in her singing voice (despite auditioning as a vocalist but i assume she just lost confidence as she became known as a rapper and wasn’t singing as much), i’ve noticed there’s not many older clips of her singing but then boom!! i found out she was on masked singer at the end of last year. that’s wild!! wow,,, ok i need to STOP

just normal biases from here

kim doyoung (nct): yes,,, he has been moved down to just a bias,, i’m so sorry doyoung ILY but fate just put u here again. but yeah can i just say, he has my favorite voice out of nct, i literally have a playlist on yt of him singing to listen to when i’m sad/not feeling good. sm we also need a doyoung solo album. and the way he literally doesn’t put up with anyone’s shit? iconic. like yes . put fans in their place. have a member u clearly like more. be lazy and own it. but also ! he can be such a babie like,,, who allowed this. WHO

mark lee (nct): omg that rhymes mark lee from nct ahhahahsjjhi’msosorry let’s be honest, everyone is at least a tiny bit a mark stan, i just happen to have lots and lots of the mark stan gene. he’s so so talented and so so hardworking he rly deserves the whole entire world. if u see him laugh i guaranTEE your day will immediately become better, unless you’re sitting next to him and he slaps u maybe it won’t. anyways, i don’t say this enough but i love love LOVE his voice and his lines are almost always my favorite part in songs. he’s also such a dork he’s so cute and does dumb things and says weird things but it’s cute !! and endearing!! again: he deserves the world

hendery (wayv/nct): yet another dumb and extremely endearing dork, he’s literally SO funny, whenever i watch . almost any video he’s in i’m guaranteed to cry from laughter. and his facial expressions? absolutely hilarious. but he’s also so so sweet like,,, “i’m your chinese book” ??? lit rally the most caring, and when he was talking about something along the lines of wanting to be recognized for his talent and character not his looks (don’t remember exactly what he said but yeah) wow,,, anyways . i would do anything for him

chungha: does she count as a bias ?? as she’s a soloist ?? idc i’m including her. u can’t get anymore legendary than chungha, she’s top tier. that wink in rollercoaster?? universes are created whenever she does it. a PERFECT universe was created when she did it and the bling under her eye sparkled at the same time. and chica?? all female backup dancers?? again . LEGEND oh speaking of backup dancers, she’s so close with all her dancers it’s honestly precious. u know who else is precious? yeah u guessed it, chungha. the way she gets scared so easily honestly i feel bad but it’s CUTE

young k (day6): literally,,, love this guy,,,, so much,,, how can someone be THIS perfect i don’t get it. perfect vocals,,, perfect rap,,, perfect face,,, perfect personality,,,,, HOW. ok can we talk about his voice for a second, his range??? the way he goes from that low voice to perfect high notes ?? (that one part in my day,,, if u know, u know) and when he has fun with the notes (like in feeling good or . basically every live stage tbh) u can TELL how much he enjoys singing i just,,, let me go cry

jeon heejin (loona): the nations gf, everyone loves her. as they SHOULD, she’s a pure ball of sunshine, just a babie. also can i just say, the acoustic version of vivid is Superior, and the video of her playing guitar while singing it??? legendary we won’t talk about the greedy fancam bc that’s too much to handle

kim hyunjin (loona): imagine biasing the best pair of best friends, only icons can relate. ok but rly people don’t appreciate her enough it makes me sad : ( like yes she lowkey has rbf but she’s a whole cutie !! highkey relatable with her love for bread like . me too and her voice : ( it’s so deep and pretty and : ( basically in conclusion she makes me sad bc i love her so much

---

tagging: @empathyuck @1ove1ies @d6hotel @cinanamon @wlnwin @wantmv @pinktea99 @rcnjun @nctweboom @adorablejeno

[zepdeans]

there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3  -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4  -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal 

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :((  -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one  -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words??  -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!!  -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart  -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry  -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even  -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!!  -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius  -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life

[lizziebennet]

AURORA. Very important question for you on this Tuesday night - what is your opinion on the HP scores and could you order them from fav to least fav?

what an excellent and essential question. i admit that it’s hard for me to approach this matter from an objective point of view as obviously my opinions of these scores are very intensely affected by nostalgia and my experience w the film itself, but i shall try my hardest to just evaluate the scores on their own merit. 

RANKING OF THE HARRY POTTER FILM SCORES, FROM WORST TO BEST:

7. deathly hallows part 1&2 by alexandre desplat

i remember when it was announced desplat was going to be doing the last 2 films and it was so exciting to have such a Hot Composer taking on the final two films… but i gotta say he severely disappointed me and i haven’t forgiven desplat since. these films–especially part 2–were the culmination of the entire franchise, and should’ve been fucking epic masterpieces that evoked the previous films’ score. instead, desplat largely ignored the iconic potter themes that williams and others created and went in his own direction which like… isn’t really the right move for the last 2 films of a franchise imo. 

and im just not super a fan of what he came up with?? like ‘lily’s theme’ is good, but im not sure it really fits potter?? and i just feel like a lot of the final battle stuff could’ve been so much more epic and emotional like. it doesn’t take a lot for a bitch to cry in a harry potter movie but desplat wasn’t helping me out u know. anyway i honestly like the score he did for fucking new moon better than for potter which …….is not great. 

6. order of the phoenix by nicholas hooper 

i am trying not to let my hatred of this movie cloud my judgement here but like even so i think this is one of the weaker scores. there are just so many annoying tracks lmaooo that like they blast at the wizarding world parks u know. like umbridge’s theme… i get its SUPPOSED to be annoying but still its not a fave. and like i think again the stuff in the ministry of magic during the fight scenes couldve been better. its just not a fave tbh but i do like a few themes like particularly the track ‘a journey to hogwarts’ is very sweet and sirius’s death moment was well done. but overall there are more tracks on this one i skip than play. 

5. chamber of secrets by john williams

this is where things get rly tricky bc i legit love the rest of these scores. but i have to put chamber here because i feel like a lot of its greatness piggybacks off the genius of the score of sorcerer’s stone... which isn’t a bad thing at all but. it doesn’t bring a ton of new stuff to the table. however i do love the ‘fawkes the phoenix’ theme!!! so!! much!!! and lockhart’s theme is very funny and cute. we do edge into a saccharine territory a bit when it comes to tracks like ‘reunion of friends’ but like i cry every time so who fucking cares. 

4. half-blood prince by nicholas hooper

i really really love this score as a stand alone score, and i almost put it higher on this list but i feel like this score totally abandons all the potter scores that have come before it and does its totally own new thing. this isn’t really the scores fault, as im sure like david yates told hooper to do this you know, but it deviates so far from the original themes instead of just adding onto them, so much so that if you just heard it without watching the movie you might not even associate it with the potter movies at all. again, this probably isn’t hooper’s fault but i think this was a big mistake for the sonic evolution of the movies. the potter movies failed to create a cohesive sound across all the films, and i think it is worse for it. can u imagine if the harry potter movies were like the lord of the rings movies, where they bring back themes from the first movie in the final one and the audience recognizes them subconsciously and the moment is all the more emotional because of it? tbh just a missed opportunity imo. 

but anyway just about this score on its own, it has some of the best standalone tracks in the entire movies tbh. the one that stands out the most to me is of course ‘dumbledore’s farewell.’ such a hauntingly beautiful song--i remember seeing this movie for the first time and this track pierced me to my core. i also love how this score uses harp like in ‘when ginny kissed harry,’ and how it uses choral arrangements?? like in ‘in noctem.’ honestly i adore this score so much but i have to rank it lower because i doesn’t feel like it serves its purpose in the potter movies as a whole well :( 

3. goblet of fire by patrick doyle

idk why patrick doyle only did the 1 movie because i really like this score. i know its super hard to follow up john fucking williams lmaooo but i feel like he did a pretty good job of drawing from the original williams themes but also incorporating some new stuff to fit the darker tone of the movie. there are some of my favorite potter tracks of all time on this score like ‘death of cedric’ which is so haunting and perfect and ‘harry in winter’ which is so beautiful and potter-esque. he also did a really good job with the action scenes in the graveyard which is v important to me. and the diegetic music in the yule ball stuff is so funny and lovely at the same time. 

2. sorcerer’s stone by john williams 

the fucking classic. the og. like, what is there to say?? talented brilliant incredible amazing showstopping never the same totally unique. like only john williams could create such an iconic theme. it’s hard for me to be objective here because i was young enough when the first movie came out that ‘hedwig’s theme’ /is/ harry potter to me, they are one in the same, you cannot separate them in my mind. but truly williams captured the magic of the harry potter world in music and enchanted everyone with this score. 

i also love the little medieval-y influences in this score that were dropped by chamber of secrets. like with the harp moments and in ‘diagon alley and the gringotts vault’ and ‘in ‘hogwarts forever!’ there’s just a very majestic and antique vibe that i really dig that didn’t really carry over to the other movies. 

i will say sometime williams gets very... williams-y in his very uhh loud?? and kinda frantic composing u can hear in like ‘the quidditch match’ which isn’t my favorite way to do action scenes, but like who the fuck cares u know the pros of this score far outweigh it. 

like. just. so manyyy iconic themes that have so much EMOTIONAL WEIGHT!!! like the moment u see hogwarts for the first time and the choral vocals... and the bells in ‘christmas at hogwarts.’ and who can keep a dry eye during ‘leaving hogwarts’??? NOT I!!!!!!!!!!! such a gentle theme of longing and home and yearning and family and bittersweet loss. it starts so small and intimate but then swELLS to this grand and sweeping tune. it’s stunning. 

1. prisoner of azkaban by john williams

this is PEAK!!! potter for me. again, hard to be objective because this is the best my favorite harry potter movie, but i also truly think this is the best score because it carries over the iconic themes of the first two movies but adds a quirky and dramatic flair that fits the tone of the movie cuaron was trying to make u know? i think u can really tell that cuaron had a lot of imput on the score and didn’t just let williams do whatever he wanted, because we get a really interesting, stylized sound that is really different from williams usual fare in such a great way. but, it still is a williams score and because of that it shines and also weaves in the past movies’ themes to give us an outstanding amalgamation of sound and melody. 

like we start with ‘lumos!’ which gets us right back into the potter universe but then we get a series of quirky new themes, like the waltz for aunt marge, the jazzy knight bus theme, and the medieval choral rendition of ‘double trouble’... iconic. and we get the dark and disturbing dementors theme (’apparition on the train’) which is very understated for a williams score and extremely effective. 

however ,,,, we do not abandon the themes from prior movies!!!!! a great illustration of how williams takes those old potter themes and adapts them for this movie can be seen in ‘secrets of the castle.’ this minimalist take on hedwigs theme is a completely different tone from the original, but still establishes that we are in the same sonic world as that film. you can also see this in ‘the portrait gallery’ where an old potter theme is played on some kind of woodwind (idk sorry) and a harpsichord, giving the odd, quirky, vintage feel of the movie but still keeping with the established potter musical world. 

i really love the ~medieval vibes~ that this score gives me and i wish this was something later scores went back to (instead of going in a jazz direction..looking at you hooper). theres a lot of traditional sounding instruments used that give it a real rustic, celtic feel rather than the grand classicism of a full orchestral sound that the first 2 movies use. a lot of harps, strings, and woodwinds!!!! 

some of my favorite tracks of all time are on this score. ‘window to the past’ is just... a triumph of emotion. its absolutely stunning in its simplicity in the beginning, and how it builds toward the end. the return of that theme in ‘finale’ when sirius is saying goodbye to harry...i truly sob every time. the isolated vocals in ‘the patronus light’ truly embody the purity of that awe and joy when the patronus is cast. and of course, of course, ‘buckbeak’s flight’ is an absolute magical joy ride captured in sound. williams refrains from using a full orchestra for most of the score, so when everyone plays together in moments like this you get the full grandeur of the scene just... bAM! it’s so fucking well done and just... perfect. 

[hwqll]

If you haven’t already, could you make a guide for The Boyz? I need to learn their names because I want to stan! The only one I know is New and it’s because of the phone booth scene(s) in No Air. Pls help

here you go!~

[ guide to the boyz no air edition by age ]

[cr. naminuna] Sangyeon 

leader, oldest (dubbed as the father lmao)

physically he’s shortish, small eyes, most likely has his hair parted like in the picture 

pretty funny in variety and does voice impressions of emperors

vocal

[cr. BUD OF LOVE] Jacob

softest boy ever, his hair is grey/colorful right now so you can recognize him easily but other than that he has bunny teeth and cute lil cheeks

½ canadian line (usually translating with kevin and eric)

referred to as the angel of the group 99% of the time

passionate girl group dancer, pelvis king

vocal

[cr. VELVET GOLD MIND] Younghoon

nickname is bread(bbanghoon)

tallest

usually pouting, holding his hands to his chest, shyish

has round/big eyes and a small mouth

he’s so soft despite his height you could pummel him(literally top 4 weakest)

vocal

[cr. BELOVED] Hyunjae 

dorky, has a laugh where his mouth is big and his eyes crinkle

also has a small mouth and pointy face, almondy eyes

has greyish hair alongside jacob but they don’t look anything alike

master of spinning anything on his fingertips

goes to the gym everyday, buff boy™

vocal

[cr. Mood for Love] Juyeon

tbz believe he’d die first in an apocolypse

“serious” and sensitive guy(not rly)

his hands are 20.5 cm and tbz will never stop talking about it 

his smile reminds me of a cat and as he has the cutest eye smile

long limbs in general

vocal

Kevin

½ of canadian line

hair is usually swoopy but if it’s a bowl it’s pretty bouncy

also it’s red 

has a heart shape in his mouth

very very very artistic, designed some parts of tbz’ past albums 

piano and vocal boy

he’s a bit awkward but it’s funny and we love him

along with younghoon, you can pummel kevin

talks in vines and memes

signature peace sign in selcas and poses

skinny legs

[cr. COCO DEWY] New

you already know him but just know that

has a slight case of rbf

gets the most roasted by members

he’s small af(by weight) but can eat a ton

you can pummel chanhee 

has a habit where he raises his eyebrows sometimes for no reason

touches his mouth/nose when he laughs

pink hair rn

vocal

[cr. THEQ]  Q

super long neck

hair is mostly swoopy for this era

prominent cheekbones

laughs a lot

small mouth

i’m listing them by vocal/rapper but he’s mostly known for his dancing as well

could also pummel Q

[cr. DEAR, MY UNIVERSE] Haknyeon

chubby lil cheeks and sharp teeth 

small eyes

kinda has a squarish rectangular face

his hair is either in a bowl like this or parted directly down the center

small in terms of height

members like to say he eats a lot frequently

mc material, likes to joke around a lot 

was on produce 101 

vocal/rapper

[cr. pink sparkle!] Hwall

big case of rbf, has a resting scowl

sharp eyes when he’s dancing

don’t let this fool you because even members refer to him as a [chic] baby

unique(?) fashion sense, likes those furry tiger jackets

has abs hiding under his clothes

biggest bts fan ever, knows all their choreo and lyrics  

fun fact: his name is hwall which means bow in korean and it turns out he’s really good at archery as he won gold at the ISAC

he’s all of the hyung’s favorites

knows how to make sunwoo end himself

rapper(vocal sometimes. we never know because he gets .3 lines per song haha)

[cr. in the groove] Sunwoo

creker likes to display him as a hard rapper but he’s a whole(maybe half) softie

professional roaster, mostly to new

will come for you

coconut haircut for life

he’s growing

in animal comparisons, he’s a raccoon and no one can tell me otherwise

usually wants to die of second-hand embarrassment

main rapper, also a vocal

Eric

LA gangster

shortest one, also has a cute eye crinkle

sharp jaw line

mostly has fluffy orange hair rn 

international soft boy

bffs with felix from skz 

rapper

and that’s all of them! some of these descriptions are more helpful than others and i’m sorry for that LOL the easiest way to know them is watching the series’ that they’ve done before because they have many! 

[kang-euigeoni]

WGM! with Kang Daniel

(in an au where wgm didn't get cancelled :((( forgive me it's 1am and i've been watching too many wgm vids)

you're an idol in a group with relative success in korea. your label decides that to gain popularity for your group and yourself, you're going on a reality show-- We Got Married

You agree knowing that most of the show is scripted and it's good for your image

on the first day of shooting, the writers just tell you your new husband is also an idol and you're around the same age

you're brought to the Seoul central park and told to find certain boxes hidden around the park. the boxes contain items that will be a clue to your husband.

you find the first box behind a bench with packs of gummy candies inside

the second box is behind a tree, holding a stuffed apeach toy

the third box has a REAL LIFE KITTEN so smol and all black and you can hold him in one hand huhu

all the clues leave you pretty nervous bc you have an idea of who it is but you dont wanna get your hopes up bc uhm if it's rly the person ur thinking of ur gonna DIEEEEE

and just in time, waltzing down the path ahead is kang daniel, looking dashing in a simple tshirt and jeans and you want to simultaneously melt into a puddle and spontaneously combust bc OHMYGOD UR SHOOK

you've never actually talked to daniel besides brief introductions and finding out you two are the same age but he's super friendly and always recognizes you

he hands you a bouquet of flowers and you both kinda awkwardly laugh bc of the whole friends but not rly close dynamic and also bc ur kinda secretly in love w him lol i mean

but he sees the kitten ur holding and just starts cooing and asks to hold him and u just DIE FROM CUTENESS but you both get more comfortable bc of him

apparently it's a wedding gift from the crew so u two can keep him but daniel's dorm doesnt allow it so you keep him (and dan names him sebastian :((( )

ur first date is a picnic in the park that u prepared!!! u brought sandwiches and drinks and open the pack of gummy candies earlier

you two talk about your activities-- your new album is coming up with songs you wrote, and daniel's doing mc-ing on music shows while promoting

generally you two talk a lot and the conversation switches from light to serious to funny again, and you get super comfortable

eventually you two go on more dates (occasionally with ur baby sebastian) and get really close and even get a "house" for the show. you move in there since you live alone and daniel goes over for shoots

daniel is the flirtiest person ever??? he's a natural at skinship, is super straightforward, says the sweetest things and is super caring. what a husband. he calls u kid even tho ur the same age and he acts like a literal child but he gets super protective and always looks out for you

u just enjoy it while u can, but ur always painfully aware that it's just for the show, so u try to ignore those growing feelings

but after you "move in" to your shared house, you get sooo much closer. you literally fall asleep in his arms (even tho you wake up later when he moves around in his sleep), he brings his cats over from busan, so basically when he's not around you're just a cat lady

you teach him to clean and cook and he does those things like reach things you cant and clean the cat litter box and tuck you into bed. UGH DOMESTIC DANIEL IS SUCH A DREAM

while he's promoting you visit his dressing room backstage and when you have a comeback he always goes to your group's dressing room too and your members tease you both for it but he treats you like a best friend and it's just the greatest thing in the world but u keep reminding yourself it's scripted and he's just a natural flirt cries

the day comes when you have to do your wedding photoshoot (if you haven't watched wgm photoshoots it's the cutest shit istg i love). you're super nervous because you and daniel are going to be in a more formal setting for once? it just feels so unnatural and it just contributes to that growing feeling gnawing at your gut reminding you it's scripted

but daniel eases your anxiety before the shoot by giving you a pep talk and bringing the cats. he says he's sure you'll turn out pretty no matter what anyway

you change into a floor-length ball gown and get your hair and makeup done. when you step out, his jaw drops and for once he has nothing to say. daniel himself looks incredible in a red velvet coat and black slacks, looking very prince-like.

once he finds his voice he can't stop calling you beautiful, his eyes never leaving you, and you feel so exposed because he's never looked at you so much????

once the shoot starts the director tells daniel to put his arms around you from behind. he's so close you can smell his cologne, and feel his breath on your exposed shoulder.

there's a kissing shot!!!!!! and ur abt to die!!!! it's just like a small peck on the lips but you have to hold it for the photo and daniel gets rly close with no hesitation an ur sh00k so hard you forget to breathr because ohmygod he's so beautiful

he stares at your lips and you reeaaaally wanna kiss him full on but that would be weird and uncalled for so you do more shots where you look at the camera instead of him but you feel him looking at you the whole time

and the next scene is on a couch and you're both in white button down shirts, only you're in short shorts. the scene is so intimate it makes you shy, not to mention daniel with his front button down looks breathtaking and you feel like dying

things get even more intimate than before, as daniel has his hand lightly on your stomach as you lie down beside each other on the couch

you've both cuddled in bed before for the show but the mood is so different???? like before it was light and bubbly but now it gets hot and sexy which is daniel's deadliest weapon

you cant help but feel turned on by the way daniel looks at you now, like he's about to eat you up, but lovingly

after that photoshoot everything changed

suddenly Daniel became more touchy and flirty even off camera when you were just hanging out

he got your number and you texted often, usually until one of you fell asleep. he's still the same teddy bear, he's just around more often, and you like it but ur scared because it makes you fall harder

you finally cant take it anymore and ask him if what you are is real because you need to set boundaries!!!

"kang daniel you better not fucking play with me is this just for the show or what because I cant deal with not knowing if you're being geniune!!! forget the cameras and the fans and the industry, i need to know what you feel for me because i definitely feel something for you!!!!!!!"

"y/n.... it took me a long time to realize this but... i definitely feel the same way. im comfortable around you, we have so much in common, and you're extremely attractive??"

DIESSSSS

"honestly, the way you make me laugh, cheer me up and support me wholeheartedly, helping me open up about myself more, no one else could have done that. you're so special to me, y/n. i cant imagine being with anyone else, whether through the show or not."

this made you extremely happy and you two started dating officially but in secret, with the support of your teams

the chemistry on set with you two became more palpable and viewers were noticing with ratings skyrocketing. you had become joined at the hip, especially as the show was the most time you got to see each other.

eventually after the season ended, you went public with the relationship and finally got to go on dates without cameras around:)

[dreamerology]

my biggest i love monsta x ever!!!!

no offence but if u had told me a year ago that these seven boys would have had this much of an impact on my life and not only that but i still love them as much now as i did on day one (maybe even more) i’d say u were lying. usually my interests come and go in phases and nothing has ever lasted as long as mx???? but i rly truly cannot imagine my life without them at this point. in fact, the 2-3 months at the very beginning of uni where i stopped having time for them and thought i was moving on were the worst of this year (ofc that wasn’t the only reason those months were hard, but feeling like i was falling out of love w mx hurt more than id care to admit). they’ve brought me so much happiness and connected me with so many amazing people and not 2 be cheesy but made me into a better person! like they just continue to have the biggest positive influence in my life and i got the opportunity to meet one of my best friends bc of them, i’ll forever be thankful for them

i know i havent been w mx since the beginnign but!!!! even just seeing shownu grow so much this year has made me sooooo happie!!!!!! i Love how u can just see he’s more comfortable now and seems a lot more at ease……..the fact that hes comfortable enough to host his own solo vlives and no offence but theres not a single thing i dont love abt that man! hes so fucking funny….like its sorta weird humor?? dad humor almost? BUT HES HONESTLY FUNNY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING hes just reached a point where he’s got no filter and will just say whatever and sometimes even the wording will make me laugh dkjfhkjsd the true underrated comedian of the group tbh. hes so selfless too bicht………….i still cant believe he split the money from his solo event w the other members My Heart :-((((((( and when hes on a solo schedule he’s always mentioning the others!!! nd doesnt let anyone forget abt them, they rly are one big family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO HIS SMILE is the cutest shit ive ever seen!!!!! like when he smiles rlllly big nd his eyes crinkle nd he :D and his big “ha ha ha” ,,,,music 2 my ears!!!!!!!! i wish he could be that happy forever. hes the biggest softest teddy bear i just wanna give him a giant hug???

fun fact wonho was the first member i knew abt nd was able to recognize nd such!! my friend who helped me get into mx talked abt him a lot so i grew to love him before i even knew the others!!! actually hes probably still the one i know the most abt bc of her? anyways! angels exist and wonho is living proof of that! his love for mbbs is on a whole other plane of existance???? ive never felt this loved nd appreciated as a fan before nd its all genuine!!!!!. wonho is a monbebebebe first and a monsta second. hes just so full of love….im convinced thats why hes so Large he needs to fit his heart in his body somehow...hes just got so much love to give!!!!!!! he is the most thoughtful and caring person??? like not even towards monbebes and his memebrs but like at the end of mxray when he made sure to buy all the staff and crew little gifts as well, my heart grew 3 sizes for him!!!!!! and im so soo soooooooooooooosososooo proud of him to have some of his songs on the albums this year and not only that but! from zero getting a stage on tv!!!!!! his song!!!! he did that!!!!!! his hard work paid off….i hope he continues to be able to produce more music this year! oh one last thing, i love how? childish he is??? idk if thats the right word but hes always teasing or changing or playing around w the other members and hes always being goofy and laughing and it just makes my heart!!!!! rly happy nd warm

what is there left 2 be said abt minhyuk that i havent already said yet jdfshkjdhf i just! Love Everything abt that boy :-((((((( i love his sunshiney positive personality that never fails to cheer me up, i love how caring he is and how he always makes sure to be there for his members and makes himself open for them, i love his uneven blink, i love how soft his voice is and how it sounds exactly how sunshine looks, i love his fingers go sorta crooked when he makes a peace sign, i love his laugh and how silly he is, i love his thoughtful and serious side, i love how smart he is, i love his toothy smile, i love when hes on stage and he looks so radiant and glowing and u can see how happy he is and how he was truly built to shine, i love his ears, i love how affectionate and loving he is, i love his one (1) dimple, i love how sometimes he just says the weirdest shit…...like i rly wanna understand what hes thinking sometimes, i love how cute he looks wearing hats or how soft he looks in giant sweaters, i love him sooooooo much my heart hurts

can u believe i didn’t used to love kihyun this much? past me was a whole fool! i’ll try to keep this one sorta short too since i’ve already written a love essay for him but! once again i rly do love him w my whole heart!!!!!! absolutely Everything he does is so endearing and i loooove how he cares so much….he rly went and made us our own season's greeting for free nd his photography is rly No Joke! hes so talented nd u can rly see how passionate he is abt it!!!!! it makes me so so happy seeing him talk abt it, like he just lights up its the best thing ive ever seen. i Love his smile!!!! when his face scrunches up and u can see the little dimples on his cheeks and see all his teeth and he laughs and throws his head back or hits whoever’s closest to him or just collapses thats Good Shit!!!!!!!! im so glad he’s happy enough to be able to smile like that!!!!!!! it makes my heart tingle thinking abt him being happy. he rly is the cutest, i love him nd all his beauty marks :D !! nd no offense but hes never had a bad hair colour/style nd thats the tea on that!

chae hyungwon 2018’s lord nd saviour????????? anyways its about Damn Time i write him a love essay :-((((( having both best friends being hyungwon biased ive secretly been converted 2 a whole chaebebe….their love rubbed off on me!!! i love it :D idk where to start...gosh hes seriously so hardworking????? im soooooo so soo so proud of him!!! icb he picked up djing as a hobby nd then made it to a big festival, is on mix and the city and has released not one but two (2) songs only months later!!!!!!!!! we love a talented man!!!!!!! nd his dancing bichksjdfhsdj hes so fluid nd smooth when he dances…...i always find myself watching him first in group practices like there something rly captivating abt him?? please let him show us more of his dancing its So Good. also hes got the nicest voice…...its so deep wtf...but like its So Calming 2 listen to? especially when hes sleepy nd its extra raspy? Good Shit! and when he sings!!!!!!!! bicshjkdfhksdhj hes got one of my fave vocal voices i rly wish he got the lines he deserves :((( hes! So! Cute! jfhsdjfhs he gets embarrassed so easily and always makes the goofiest faces but i love it….he covers his smile sometimes too :-((( i wish he wouldnt its So Bright nd cute nd warm just like he is!!!! hyungwon’s smile is the 8th wonder of the world thats just the facts folks!

mister jooheon……….the true example of the duality of man. i dont understand how he can go from his scaredy cat self to and Actual God,,,blows my mind. i’m pretty sure i’ve said this at least a hundred times but his stage presence is truly Unreal……..its on a whole other level…….ive never seen them live but if i ever do i fear for my life. nd i know once it’s over im only gonna know one (1) man and that man is lee jooheon. but at the same time hes rly The Cutest id trust him w my life???? his eyes are so warm!!!!!! And his Big Smile!!!!!!!!!!! his dimples? deeper than the marianas trench, i wanna build my home in them nd raise my family there. hes such a talented dude!!!! mx don’t have a single bad song thenks jooheon! also for the first couple months i’d alway forget he was one of the youngest? like hes very mature too nd seems very responsible djfhkjsdhfjsd idk how he was the only one 2 be able to keep it together during their first win 2 give the speech…..hes so strong. i love him so much :-( hes so cute nd gentle nd thoughtful...truly the biggest angel who deserves the world!!!!!!!!!!

i think if there's any member i would actually get along best w it would b changkyun. we’re both rly similar from what i can tell...like sorta quiet, but loud around those we’re comfortable with!!! first off hes so funny nd…..weird but like in a good way sdjfhksdjhf sometimes i rly just think he says the first thing that comes to his mind “actually we have a baby” ????? who let him \…..he always makes me laugh reading his fansign notes too omg that being said hes also one of the most serious members at times i feel like. hes just got this rly mature vibe nd he handles things rly well??? idk if that makes sense but Yeah. he’s just someone who’s not rly afraid 2 be themselves, i wish that were me??? ive got so much to learn from them. also icb he literally invented being cute???? he doesn't even have 2 try hes just adorable!!!!!! like his laugh nd smile? The Best!!!!! and when u can see his lil dimples yeahhhhh hes sooo super sweet and cheesy. i looooove how close hes gotten w the other members despite their rough start, they rly are a family nd im glad hes comfortable around them it rly warms my heart!!!!! whenever hes getting showered in love my heart !!!!!!! its what he deserves!

on that note, the one thing i think that has stayed with me more than anything is that one fansign note where ck was asked how he wants to be remembered in the future, when they only occasionally thought abt him and his answer was “that i gave you happiness” and not 2 b a sentimental shit but fuck! i cry every time i think abt that!!!!!!! bc i Know there’s gonna come a day where i don’t think abt them at all! there’s gonna be a day where i won’t think abt them until i see something that jogs my memory and jolts me back to this time and even tho this year has been rough i know i always will remember how much happiness they’ve brought me. i’ll remember how they were able to cheer me up when nothing else worked. i hope one day i’ll be able to feel the Pure Joy i felt when they got their first win….i’ve never felt anything like that before. i cant wait to be able to look back in nostalgia at all the happiness they’ve brought me.

anyways that got real sappy towards the end i gotta blast now bye!

[mistake-memessenger]

Hey,could you please write a HC about what the RFA+V+Saeran would do for MC'S birthday? I looooove your writing,thanks a lot :)

sorry i took so long!! hope u enjoy!!!! AND TO ANYONE WHO’S BIRTHDAY IT IS (or even isn’t) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

Zen

-he makes a Day of it-three bouquets throughout the day-one is straight up just red roses-the other two are a lovely bouquet of seasonal flowers depending on MC’s birth date and a bouquet of MC’s favorite flower(s)-each bouquet has the same amount of flowers, all depending on how old MC is turning!! (though he caps it at 30….. bc he knows what’s good for his health and his wallet haha)-tbh Zen has thought A LOT about this (and all the holidays etc, he’s wanted to do this kind of thing for his SO since before even meeting MC that first time in the chatroom……. like….. remember the Christmas DLC? yeah.. he wants this to be a very special occasion. he literally has fantasized about this)-he takes MC out for breakfast at a local family diner and the staff sings “Happy Birthday”/variant birthday song and it emBARRASSES MC to no end-y this hyun-and they go out for a movie after breakfast, whatever one MC wants to see-the movie theatre is mostly empty and it’s.. really nice…….-Zen and MC wander around town, window shopping (maybe actually shopping), and do food cart foods for lunch!!-he knows where all the best ones are and he’s so excited to show them to MC-it’s so cute he’s so cute!!-next up!!-motorcycle ride!!!!-he rly gets a kick out of MC clinging to him while they ride haha-Zen takes MC to a place with a great view, possibly his spot in the mountains if there’s time-they manage to stop on the way home to watch the sunset-it’s beautiful-selfies r taken and subsequently posted to the chatroom-Zen gets out some light snacks when they finally get home, and sets about making dinner (it’s curry, that’s his best dish)-he planned this whole day out-for MC-and has just…… been v affectionate all day, physically and vocally-he loves them-so, so much-more than he can truly express-and he’s so glad that he gets to spend their birthday with them-even if the day hadn’t gone to plan… he would have been happy just being near MC

Yoosung

-yo listen……. Yoosung throws a party. he invites the RFA..-but like. okay.-it’s not just like….. a party at home-nah-Yoosung springs for a party at a bowling alley with an arcade and open bar-things get drinky-Yoosung gets drinky-he’s been so nervous about this all day he just wants to impress and please MC omg so precious fuck-this boy can’t do shots though-so he’s had like two cocktails in the last 20 minutes he is tipsy-like….. cocktails have a p high alcohol content, my children……. but u can hardly taste it-Yoosung wants to down these like juice, ‘cause that’s what it tastes like “MC just lemme have one more please i promise im not even drunk MC”-“yoosung pls.”-he’s so clingy…. just wants to hold MC forever, even just their hand!!-and if MC isn’t in his immediate vicinity he is hanging off of one of the others (usually Zen)-there is definitely. 4 sure.-drunk bowling-Jumin Han, not nearly as tipsy as anyone else, requires gutter shields-Zen will neeeever let him live that down-Jaehee wins every round she plays-she brought her own bowling ball-after a couple games the group splits up and Yoosung, MC, and Seven go to the arcade, which is on its own floor of the building-there are plans to regroup back downstairs for junk food and cake later-but first.. arcade!!!-Seven heads straight for the racing games-while Yoosung and MC take their time wandering around trying different things while Yoosung is sobering back up-they play giant Connect Four-and a couple crane games-there’s a giant Fruit Ninja (Yoosung gets the new high score)-they get into one of the two player booth games and it’s a horror/suspense game-Yoosung is terrified.. and clingy-MC is maybe not……. as scared.. haha-Seven takes video-there’s a lot of screaming (some of it is Seven actually….)-all three go play skeeball together-they’ve been racking up tickets this whole time-maybe not enough for anything rly fancy like the PS4?????? that’s on display???-but….. Yoosung and MC pool their tickets and manage to get a dragon plushie (it’s beautiful, like opal colors and ice blue horns and shit)-they use the leftover tickets on candy-they name the dragon-it’s their child now-they introduce the dragon plush to everybody back downstairs as such-“This is our child, Iseul, and we love them dearly.”-“they’re scaly and breathe fire, but they’re beautiful and we love them. Our lovely Iseul~”-“I thought we agreed on ice powers??”-“fire is classic, tho!!”-“…….u have a point..”-“oh!! oh!!! both???”-“both!!!”

Jaehee

-they take a couple days off and go to the beach together-the hotel has an indoor pool and hot tub-so there can be swimming and chilling in the water no matter the time of year MC’s birthday is!!-they go out early in the morning at low tide to comb the beach for shells-so many sand dollars!!!-they saw some rly big starfish in the tide pools it was awesome!!!!-since they’re staying in a lil touristy beach town they have breakfast in a local café-one that’s got like lace curtains and all the tables are only big enough for two people-a cutesy cozy place!!-after breakfast MC gets a FaceTime call from Zen and he sings them Happy Birthday what a dork-MC and Jaehee are crying wth y is he so sweet???-Zen is flustered at the crying and promises to do this same thing for Jaehee for her birthday too!!-more crying-Zen is freaking out whY ARE U CRYING PLS DONT IM SORRY IM SOR—-aaaaand he accidentally hung up-cue both MC and Jaehee receiving frantic apology texts from Zen-they don’t reply fast enough??-Zen has already promised VIP tickets to his next show to apologize for making his two biggest fans cry-omg zen calm down they were happy tears-aaanyway MC and Jaehee do a bunch of wandering around the kitschy tourist shops and spots-holding hands and occasionally smooching-they take a bunch of photos and selfies to document the trip-they go to the local seafood restaurant for dinner and take a slice of cake each back to the hotel for dessert-Jaehee and MC enjoy some quiet time in the hotel together, snuggled up on the bed reading separate books-and then they start getting handsy-it’s kind of become a competition-how high up the thigh before u react type of chicken-except they both win bc…… it leads to sexy fun times??-anyway it is a good time!!! at the beach!!!!-HAPPY BIRTHDAY MC

Jumin

-he promises that they’ll do whatever MC wants to do for their birthday (within reason)-they choose an amusement park date-Jumin does some research and ends up flying the two of them to Disneyland-in France-JUMIN HAN WTF-I mean……. they def discussed this trip before it happened but like..-jumin is kind of extra i love him-he wears a suit the first day in Didneylan-MC is not surprised, but also…… “Jumin we’re getting u comfy clothes for this”-he gets-jeans!!-and a couple Disney shirts bc they’re everywhere-he and MC get matching shirts-it’s too cute-Jumin tries to take selfies but they are all blurry af-he keeps them and posts them to the chatroom anyway-MC thinks it’s rly precious and takes much better selfies (but only posts the shitty ones, partly for solidarity but also bc Jumin thinks it’s funny too)-also Jumin calls Yoosung every day bc he is pet- and penthouse-sitting for them-FaceTime with Elizabeth the 3rd-she cries over the phone-she recognizes her humans omg-oh my god Jumin takes MC to a fancy restaurant while they’re both still wearing their Disneyland clothes-they almost get turned away from their own reservation because the place has a dress code-but MC’s partner is Jumin Han-they get in-surrounded by other people all in their fanciest dinner clothes, Jumin Han is wearing a Mickey Mouse ears hat(“a classic! a tradition, even!!” MC had insisted), a shirt with the Aristocats on it, jeans, and sneakers, and MC is dressed p similarly as they eat-it’s beautiful-MC takes photos and videos for the chatroom this is the best goddamn thing Happy Birthday to Me-Jumin is glad that MC is enjoying their birthday trip so much

Seven

-it starts at midnight-tHIS-MOTHERFUCKER-POUNCES ON MC AT MIDNIGHT-“MC!! MC!!! It’s ur birthday!!!!!! Happy birthday!!!”-“I WAS ASLEEP U ASS”-Seven is shoved onto the floor-no mercy-he’s laughing tho-and pouting and whining playfully-“but it’s your birfday and i luv u”-MC leans over the side of the bed to squint at him-“love me in the morning when im a human again”-MC bundles back up in the blankets, they become a blankety burrito-dramatic GASP from Seven-“my SO is an alien” v soft tone, full of wonder-he crawls back into the bed and flops onto and embraces the burrito MC (“ugh, be gentle, Saeyoung omg” “aaaaa sorry sorry I’ll be gentle I promise! im the gentlest boy!!”)-“the love of my life lived among the stars….. in a SPACESHIP!!”-“pls sleep Saeyoung…….”-but he just keeps going and it’s less MC Is An Alien, and more….-“MC did u know? that statistically you r a miracle?”-MC turns their head “…..yeah?”-Seven’s eyes are wide and earnest and his tone has gone from jokingly in awe to genuinely so-“yeah!!” he snuggles up nice n close “like,, even just genetically ,, , you exist because certain events led your parents to each other and if any one little thing had gone differently….. you wouldn’t be here.. and it’s the same for them! Their parents and their parents’ parents!!-"the chances of you being here in this moment are so astronomically low!! but ur here!!! u exist here and now and I–”-he stops for a moment, just.. overwhelmed with his feelings-“and im so glad that you exist, MC”-he sounds out of breath like the thought knocked it out of him-“im so so glad you’re here.. i love you”-he presses his forehead to the space between MC’s neck and shoulder, nose pressed against their skin -his nose might be a lil cold-but his breath is warm-“happy birthday, MC”

Saeran

-he does not want to go out-he’d rather stay in to celebrate-but-okay. three words-ice cream cake-the goal here for Saeran is to get one-to just… experience it-but also for MC’s birthday-there’s a conversation that goes something like:-“MC, can we just stay in? nothin fancy?”-and MC shrugs “sure. that actually sounds p nice……. although…….”-Saeran is suspicious “although what?”-“I kind of want…… ice cream cake?”-and just. he stops-he stops???-“that’s a thing?????”-MC goes for a dramatic look and answer-“that is a thing”-“y didn’t I know about this what the hell yOURE GETTING ICE CREAM CAKE FOR UR BIRTHDAY MC”-and he is on his way OUT THE DOOR-MC shouting after him “U CANT FOOL ME SAERAN!!!! I KNOW U WANT THE CAKE FOR YOU!!!!”-and i mean-he’s not gonna deny it-he is gone for three hours-comes back home with two ice cream cakes bc he couldn’t decide between the funfetti one or the chocolate one-MC is a lil exasperated, but indulgent bc hey ice cream cake for days!!-as long as they moderate themselves-they otherwise stay in and Saeran surprises MC with a lil necklace with a skull charm and a heart charm-Saeran with a shrug about the charms: “the skull is me and heart is you”-“r u sure tho”-“shut up MC”-a blushing Saeran……… what nice gift

V

-they start with a lazy morning in bed-cuddling-sloppy kisses-soft touches and messy hair-intermittently falling back to sleep-eventually they get out of bed and get ready for the rest of the day-breakfast at noon-pancakes and eggs and bacon and sausage and warm flaky biscuits and coffee-after breakfast V presents MC with what appears to be a scrapbook-he kisses the side of their head with a happy little “happy birthday, sweetheart” while handing the gift over-it IS a scrapbook-it’s full of photos starting from MC’s first time working with the RFA on the party, and over the next few years up until this point-it’s……. a journey through their life together-their friendship, their love, their relationships with their friends-there are notes scrawled all over every page in every free space between photos-notes from their friends-little stories giving context to the photos-a few little doodles and well-wishes-it honestly makes MC tear up-it just….. feels so warm