#it was like 700 words

[upsidedownwithsteve]

wrote a blurb directly into the ask box again, didn’t I

tumblr refreshed itself and I lost it, didn’t I

today’s lesson learned is that I will never learn

[awsok]

okay. let's talk about shin, sabine, and whatever the hell is going on here:

i've been trying to figure out this moment, and why shin responds like this. because it feels like a change, right? the shin of episode 1 would be thrilled to have permission to hunt down and kill sabine. but here, she's clearly protesting the order (indirectly, because she can hardly outright say 'no' to thrawn).

on one level, this is definitely at least in part because the order is coming from thrawn. orders from baylan are fine for shin: baylan is her master, and by this point in the series it's obvious how much she respects him. but thrawn? baylan told her finding thrawn would bring them power, but instead both she and baylan are being treated like his underlings - this is not what shin thought they were signing up for.

but if this were solely about thrawn giving orders, i'd expect shin's reaction to seem irritated or offended - she's hardly a stranger to anger, after all. but i think it's fair to say that shin's response here can be best characterised as alarmed? she's clearly surprised that they aren't letting sabine go, and more than that: she's not happy about it.

so then, i thought maybe that this was about honour - that shin was so disturbed by this, because it is dishonourable for baylan (who has made a point of insisting on keeping his word to sabine) to break their agreement. (and i know it may seem counterintuitive to assume that shin cares about such a jedi-like concept as honour, but judging by the way baylan speaks of the jedi and shin's padawan braid, he probably instilled her with their values if not their morals.) but then i remembered where episode four left off (which is indicated by the show to be a most a day or two ago):

this takes place literally immediately after sabine has made a deal with baylan. if shin cares enough about honour for it to override her hatred of sabine in episode six, it doesn't make sense for her to disregard honour (even in the heat of the moment) to try and kill sabine in episode four.

so if this isn't about thrawn (not entirely), and it isn't about honour (probably not at all), what is this about? what has changed to make shin go from homicidal obsession to protesting seemingly on sabine's behalf?

sabine, of course.

(by which i actually mean: shin.)

let's talk about The Look!

shin staring at sabine is nothing remotely new. shin staring at sabine without a homicidal glare or a mocking smirk? that's extremely new. this scene makes me crazy (i'm trying so so hard to keep the shipping goggles off and to be objective guys). it may not seem like much at first glance, but this is a dramatic change of behaviour for shin. she's looking at - no, observing sabine in a completely neutral and open way. there's no hostility in this gaze, no judgement, not even fear or conflict. just: observing. and she's doing so openly as well - not just that she isn't disguising herself - she turns to face sabine, as if to give sabine a better look at her. as if to let sabine observe her right back.

why??? why is shin doing this??

um. well. i actually don't know.

i can't make any remotely certain assumptions about what has changed since they left seatos. maybe shin has done a lot of introspection. maybe she feels like she's seen a different side of sabine. maybe they fucked on that spaceship.

the only conclusion i do feel it might be safe to make is this:

i don't think shin sees sabine as an enemy anymore.

i don't know when exactly that changed, i don't know what exactly caused it. but it's true. and if shin and sabine aren't enemies anymore - what are they to each other? what will they become?

tl;dr - shin doesn't want to murder sabine in cold blood anymore. also i think they should hold hands.

[funkle420]

i have an essay due at midnight

[lintubintu]

Kot Kot Review

I like Kot Kot a lot.

Despite the almost harsh difference between the intro and how the song progresses, it´s not too out there.

The music seems chaotic and structured, is melodic, nostalgic and two-faced more out of necessity than provocation, and it´s ongoing. It spirals.

There is a lovely moodiness to it that seems mature and balanced, deliberately using the intro as a bridge again and repurposing the funky "kot kot" into something that softens into the lighter part of the song. The change of pace is noticeable but not alarming and almost hopeful.

Kot Kot is not a big song nor does it exist to troll. It enjoys being silly with the chicken theme and builds a narrative that can be purposely misunderstood by people who don´t like him.

During my first listen I was a little confused but intrigued by the seemingly contradicting parts that adapt well by the second listen. Pop and Rap evolve from clashing into shaking hands.

It feels a bit like a song nobody would put on an album anymore because it is deemed barely good enough to keep up with its fellow, more popular tunes. It stands on its own where others see a filler track.

Overall, it makes me have more hope for the album now; for it to be an album and not just a compilation of Singles.

I wouldn´t be surprised if this song was the opening number, nor would I be shocked to not find an Intro at all – Kot Kot is an introduction in itself.

From what I understand of the lyrics, it also is the first song of his that makes me want to know more about him as a lyricist.

To start the song of with MAYDAY is a deliberate choice because the song is not what it seems.

It´s soft spoken and not a shrill cry for help but knows of something that already affects the narrator enough that reaching out soon is imminent. It´s a literal stress signal.

The teaser made me think the protagonist in this song was simply sick of being treated like someone doomed to continue staging a party for others.

Relying on translations and interpretations of this song, the protagonist seems to realise that their lifestyle will rather leave them with very little time spent having fun with friends – because even the party-goers have gone to bed earlier than them.

Those that tried to keep up with them may have lost their step and had to give in to their own different schedules, or are worse off for keeping them company. So their company diminishes further.

There might be little life beyond the lifestyle, the sobering thought that solitude is too close within reach for comfort – the time left after work cannot always be shared nor of quality due to their schedule.

A double blow. Real life and bonding has to be spent in time confetti. Throughout it all, the silliness persists.

Rather laughable is the Explicit rating of this song. Was it the Perhana!?

The ending is a jumpscare, them finally being silly, breaking the cycle. But at the same time, it´s a rooster greeting the morning – the protagonist worked the night away.

For a moment, you are relieved the song is over. And then you play it again.

I would love for the upcoming album to be a concept album.

This song seems to divide people in a different way than songs before it did.

Some of you seem puzzled, others more neutral than hateful, none of the dislike so far is really loud.

The timing might be a bit unfortunate – song releases at this hour have the same problems as the protagonist in Kot Kot.

And even if you really don´t like this song, I fell that there will be something on the album that you will like.

It´s ok to not like things and it doesn´t have to be justified.

Still, I am interested to hear what you don´t like about this song because I think it makes for a worthwhile conversation and I like interacting with you.

Let´s do that while we have the time.

[prettyboykatsuki]

nothing is funnier than when my brain starts writing fic as i fall asleep and i SNAP my eyes open to type it down no matter what

[wisteriagoesvroom]

drabble request! feel free to tweak/change especially if the pairing isn't your cup of tea: logan/oscar and morning coffee?

thank you and have a great day today!

okay!! i didn't think i'd have much to say about this pairing but. it turns out i'm a liar.

(ignore the fact that oscar won f2 in covid...in bahrain... and i don't think logan was in the same championship that year. something something artistic liberties)

-------------------

The carpet tickles Oscar's neck. He blinks his eyes open.

F2 celebrations were a blur. Logan dragged Oscar to some godawful nightclub, all bright lights and sweaty bodies and people pressing on him. Last night comes back in sparks. Jagerbombs, shoulder bumps, arms in the air like they just don’t care. Electro beat so loud it rattled his brain. 

They both ended up on the floor of Oscar’s hotel suite. Oscar’s not sure why that was, or what logic there was in that decision when they fumbled with the room key and tumbled in at the wee hours of the morning. 

Logan tosses a red team polo at Oscar’s face.

“Get up, dude.” 

Oscar makes a noise that sounds lot like ngggh.

“That was a total shitshow.” Logan says.

“Yeah. I know. Told you not to go, didn’t I?”

“C’mon man. Last day of F2 and you weren’t gonna celebrate?”

“I feel awful. This feels awful.” 

“But winning F2. Bet that doesn’t feel so bad.”

They both stare at the trophy, sitting sideways on a nearby sofa. Thankfully Oscar had the wits to deposit the silverware in his room before he went out to the party last night.

Oscar also thinks at some point that Logan’s arm ended up around his waist last night. Like really tight for some reason, but he can’t really remember. 

The trophy winks at them in the morning sunlight, as if in on a joke. 

Logan points at the trophy. “You should totally name it.”

“No.”

“Yeah you should.”

“My head hurts. What will it take to shut you up right now?”

Logan’s chest rumbles as he laughs. He’s spry, still, but Oscar knows from their training together that he’s getting stronger every month. There might be a day soon where Logan’s going to stand taller than him. 

He doesn’t know why he’s thinking about that. 

“McBreakfast, maybe.” Logan nods to himself as if he's just invented a great new concept. “A McMuffin with double hash browns. Yeah.”

“You’re so predictable.”

“I feel like you like that about me.”

“Humility is a good look, Sargeant. You should try it sometime.”

Logan barks a laugh, and stands up. He reaches an arm out to help Oscar up. Oscar still feels like someone’s dropped a ton of bricks on his head, but at least there’s someone here to help. Or commiserate. Whatever. Maybe they’re the same thing, sometimes.

“What is it that adults are supposed to do?” Logan says, adjusting his shirt. 

“Get a coffee,” he adds, in a deeper baritone.

“Disgusting stuff. Don't get why people like drinking it.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You drink stuff like my kid cousin.”

“Don’t chocolate-shame me.”

“I would never. You loser.”

“Who’re you calling loser?!” Oscar exclaims. He darts at Logan, and ends up pulling the other driver in a headlock. Logan’s hair is warm and a bit sweaty under Oscar’s hands. Also Logan screeches like an eagle the whole time. They’re probably going to get a noise complaint, but whatever. Oscar will take his F2 Championship privileges, if only to bully his friend. 

"Take that back!" Oscar says.

“Nah!”

“Right now!”

"Fuck's sake, man! Okay, okay."

Oscar releases the other guy, and Logan stands up again. His cheeks are very red. 

"Like I said. Feral. And I'm from Florida."

Oscar rolls his eyes as they both go get ready. He has to suppress a grin as they brush their teeth side by side.

Later, he and Logan end up going to a nearby McDonalds. Logan ends up getting his shitty coffee. They order McMuffins and three hash browns to share, and Oscar spends a full minute lecturing Logan about the health benefits of Milo. 

Logan doesn’t look like he believes a word of what Oscar's saying. Yet he listens the whole time, and laughs in all the right places anyway. 

And tomorrow, Oscar has meetings with F1 teams. Proper ones, to talk about his future, where he might actually have a chance to race. Mark's the one arranging them, and Oscar's supposed to be the star player now.

It's your time, Mark had told him, eyes sharp but patient. 

But today: Oscar still has a day left in F2. And he’s going to spend it, cosy in a booth at an unremarkable McDonalds, getting brain freeze from a milkshake, shooting the shit. Laughing until he snorts.

With one of the few people in his small circle who knows what it's like to be young, hungry, and maybe a little bit stupid.

[egberts]

I'm just gonna start blocking people who send me essay length asks trying to argue about stupid shit because their personal experience was different

[leclerced]

lando with a girlfriend that has a very complicated hair care routine and it confused him at first but she taught him about it and now he takes better care of his hair. I’m absolutely a sucker for self care and smth about him and his girlfriend taking care of themselves together just drives me insane. in a very soft mood right now, but I can’t help it. someone needs to protect his curls 😔

-

🩰

pls i tried having a curly hair routine for like a year but ive reverted and gone back to straightening it once a week bc its less work /:

the first time lando stays over, she says she’s going to shower and he wants to join. she immediately tells him this is a real shower, no fun. he thinks he can convince her until he sees all the products and she starts telling him about his routine. it’s torture for him watching her wash her body, exfoliate, use an in shower moisturizer. after her body routine, she uses a deep cleansing shampoo, followed by her regular shampoo and after rinsing, starts massaging her scalp with a massager and follows that with a deep conditioning treatment. after rinsing her conditioner, she uses a scalp treatment and a repair mask on the ends. while it sits she might shave or massage her scalp more. then she finally rinses her hair and he thinks she’s finally done. he’d have washed his hair and entire body while she was doing her three step body routine and just watched the rest, swapping places with her when she needed out of the water stream.

he gets out of the shower and tries dragging her to bed before she can even touch her robe. she pushes him away and tells him to wait, throws him a towel and wraps herself in her robe and her hair in a microfiber towel. he thinks she’s teasing him when she rubs lotion on while he watches, but it’s just to lock in moisture from the shower. then she brushes her teeth and does her entire skin care routine, and he’s again thinking she’s done, until she lets her hair down and begins another routine, creams and gels and oils, scalp massaging and combing. its like a two hour process from start to finish and he wonders what it feels like to be so pampered. when she finally puts on pajamas and crawls into bed, he asks how often she does that and she’s like, “which part? that was like an everything shower, i won’t do all of that tomorrow, and i’ll do a different skincare routine in the morning because that’s my night skincare routine, and it’s a thursday, so tomorrow night i have to use different products because there’s certain ones you don’t use two days in a row, y’know?” lando nods and agrees even thought he has no clue what she’s talking about.

he wakes up while she’s doing her morning routine and is offended she started without him because he wanted to see what was different. she stops and shows him what she did and then continues once he’s caught up. then she offers to let him use the products or asks him about his skin and shows him all the products she has and what they’re for, pulling out the ones she bought and never used because they didn’t work for her. he goes to shower later and asks her about her hair products and she immediately offers to join and show him. he’s thinking shower sex again, but she showers with him and tells him about each of them again while washing his hair and massaging his scalp.

he’d pretend to be neutral about it when they get out and she asks if he wants her to keep going and do the rest of her routine with him, like, “yeah sure if you want to” but he’s honestly dying for her to keep running her fingers through his hair. he sits on the toilet while she does her routine on his hair and then she shows him what her skincare routine for the night is and they do it together. they keep doing it every morning and night and the first time he’s away at a race, he calls her from a beauty store asking her what products he needs to buy to do their routine and she’s like, “oh you’re like, actually doing it?” and he’d whine, “well yeah? i didn’t think i’d need to, so i didn’t bring anything and my skin feels awful. so now i’m supposed to do a deep cleanse on my hair tonight and i can’t remember which one we use.” she tells him to pick one he likes, but to make sure it’s for curly hair, and he tells her, “no, i want the same shampoo because it smells like you.” she just about melts inside and rushes to the bathroom to send him a photo to ensure he gets the right one, and then sends him photos of all the other products he needs for his routine. he facetimes her after his shower because he wants to do his routine with her, and she’d have been waiting for his call to start hers because she had a feeling he would want to.

[2hoothoots]

some Agents (& Lilith!) for an ask i got on the other blog

[ahollowgrave]

I've been trying to queue things more so as not to spam people, idk if it's working or if it's just double spam (':

[headphonemouse]

Follow up to this post brought to you by @forgetme-eternally-blissfully, in fanfic snippet format because I gave up on drawing the comic (the fanfic was supposed to be a comic draft but I added too many details)

Kim Dokja lays on the ground among the rubble of a ruined building. He twitches a little before his eyes open. The world is blurry. In the distance, he can see a dark blur fluttering around his surroundings. As his vision comes into focus, he can recognize Yoo Joonghyuk searching through the debris.

A sharp pain coming from his side causes Kim Dokja to let out a groan as he struggles to push himself up to a sitting position. The sound catches Yoo Joonghyuk's attention and immediately he starts making a beeline in Kim Dokja's direction.

As Yoo Joonghyuk approaches, Kim Dokja takes note of Yoo Joonghyuk's tattered coat, his bloodstained body, the wounds on his face, hands, legs. None too serious though some deep enough to inevitably leave scars later.

Yoo Joonghyuk is getting closer, kneeling down, reaching his hand out towards Kim Dokja's face, making a move to pull Kim Dokja in when Kim Dokja decides to open his mouth.

"You're not losing your balance and having trouble standing are you? I'm not going to carry you on my back this time."

"Shut up," is all Yoo Joonghyuk says as he wraps his arms around Kim Dokja's shoulders. His grip is tight, one hand on the back of Kim Dokja's head, the other circled around his upper back.

There is a gash in Kim Dokja's side that throbs with pain. Blood loss has his head spinning and his vision blurring again. From where his face is pressed into Yoo Joonghyuk's shoulder, Kim Dokja can smell blood, sweat, smoke. Buildings continue to crumple in the background and the sound of something falling pitters in his ears. His hands tense and untense, relax and remain by his sides.

Kim Dokja lets out a breath and leans into Yoo Joonghyuk, just slightly. Just enough so that Yoo Joonghyuk can tighten his hold by a hair.

----------

Author's notes (what would normally be my image caption):

I said in the referenced post that Kim Dokja has no trouble reciprocating affection once someone else initiates, but I think Yoo Joonghyuk is the exception. Always exceptional, that one. At least during the Scenarios.

Kim Dokja can read his movements, see what Yoo Joonghyuk is aiming to do, can read his mind, dammit. But he can't comprehend his actions. Yoo Joonghyuk acting in a way that Kim Dokja doesn't know about is something that happens more and more often as time goes on, and serves as a reminder of the wall that exists between a protagonist and a reader, but also the wall that exists between two normal people. Because at this moment, Kim Dokja is still struggling to see Yoo Joonghyuk as his own person instead of a protagonist or a 1863x-regressor-to-be. He's blinded by what he knows and has seen in his own past, which he assumes will be Yoo Joonghyuk's future. When he looks at him, does he see those ghosts of the future flickering superimposed over the shape of the man before him? This is the sort of wall that exists between them.

So when Yoo Joonghyuk acts outside of Kim Dokja's expectations, Kim Dokja tries to push them back on course with banter. "Yoo Joonghyuk is getting closer, kneeling down, reaching his hand out towards Kim Dokja's face, making a move to pull Kim Dokja in-" Kim Dokja sees all of this, takes note of all of this, knows what's to come of it. Doesn't understand it one bit. He's not oblivious. It's more like, "Why? Why me? Why would someone feel this way about and want to do these things with me?" He KNOWS the effect he has on people. He intentionally calculates how much he interacts with Jung Heewon and Lee Hyunsung to ensure their loyalty towards him in the early scenarios (not so much so after like Scenario 5-ish so we're talking early-early scenarios. After that point he more supports them in the direction they want to go (when that direction is the direction he already wanted them to go anyways. something something picking teammates because he knew they were already loyal and righteous by nature, nurturing them so that they would be able to carry out their justice no matter the adversary. He chose them because he knew they were loyal and strong, but they weren't loyal or strong at the time. But they would be in the future. But they wouldn't have been without him. But in another time where he didn't exist they were strong anyways see this is how he is able to have ultimate faith in his party members and know the kind of support he has given them while still being unable to recognize his own value in the grand scheme of things. Because they would have been fine without him, he's SEEN it. This is another wall between him and other people, another future ghost)). So he knows how much influence he has in other peoples' lives. But he values himself so little that he is blind to the emotional, sentimental weight he has to these people. No matter how much he knows he's done for them, he won't see himself as worthy of genuine praise or recognition, affection, love.

So this lack of self recognition extends to his perception of all of his companions, but especially so to Yoo Joonghyuk. Yoo Joonghyuk is probably the person whom Kim Dokja is the most strict about characterization with. Kim Dokja knows him the best, it's true, but he also doesn't know a damn thing about him as a person instead of a character and that makes him feel a certain way. Vulnerable, I think. Lonely. That childish feeling of betrayal when the characters walk off the page without him. There are sides to people and characters that you will never know simply because they weren't observed. And there are sides of people that you have no right to know. It is by becoming a person instead of a reader that you must abide by those rules and give up omniscience. Part of being a person and recognizing another's personhood is to willingly not know everything about them.

Anyways. He's not there yet. Not by Hug Attempt #2. This was supposed to have 3 parts with the last one set after the epilogue but we'll see if I ever get to it.

[shilo-bathory]

i’m so normal about them

[oatflatwhite]

curtbucky for you all

[w3bgrl]

the art of shameless adoration

synopsis: changbin visits the eldest dancers in the practice room and once left alone binchu react totally reasonably when things get hot and sweaty

date: march 2nd, 2019

era: pre-miroh

word count: 1.8k

featuring: kang juyeon, seo changbin, lee minho

warnings: n/a!

a/n: i swear something other than binchu will be coming soon <3

unintelligible gibberish of counts from the experienced dancers echoed into the quiet halls of the jyp building as changbin opened the practice room door just enough to peek inside. minho and juyeon were in the center, watching themselves closely in the mirror as they polished up the details of their most recent choreography, cheeks red and hot to show how long they’d been doing this.

“hello my friends whom i love,” changbin stepped into the room with a beaming grin “looking good! how long have you been here?”

the eldest wiped the sweat from his brow as he checked his watch, eyebrows jumping in shock. “since 5…”

“what time is it?” juyeon panted

“bed time” “ten”

the boys answered simultaneously, though changbin was the one to actually answer her question. minho looked at him wildly, seemingly perplexed at their synchronicity, and turned back to juyeon.

“i think that’s enough for tonight?” his pitch raised at the end, making this statement sound more like a suggestion. what he meant was he was done for the day, but he already knew she’d either agree to go home without a fight or be here for another hour and a half. so when she looked back at herself in the mirror as if to size herself up, he could guess what she was gonna say.

“one more time.” she giggled with an awareness of her own ridiculousness. “just one more time and i’ll be good.”

“i think i was okay one more ago, actually” minho chuckled through heavy breaths and slapped a hand on changbin’s shoulder “you make sure she gets home soon, kay? we don’t need another pockey-stick-incident this comeback. i need to go lay down now.”

changbin flashed a thumbs up at minho’s request amidst juyeon’s whines that ‘it was one time forever ago, you don’t always have to bring it up!’ minho mimicked a teasing smooch on his way to snatch his things from the couch and quickly hurried out the door before she could wrangle him into boiling some water for her nightly ramen. once the door closed behind him the two in the room met eyes in the mirror, a mischievous smile on juyeon’s lips.

“okay, ready?”

“i’m doing it with you?”

she laughed “yeah! minho clocked out, it’s time for you to appease me.”

changbin found a smirk on his face at her words and feigned an exasperated sigh as he unzipped his hoodie. “fiiine, but just once!”

“yes!” juyeon bounced giddily to her phone beside the speaker “just once, and then we’ll go home.”

changbin tossed his things aside carelessly as he waited for her to queue the music. he’d just showered before coming to see what they were up to and honestly really didn’t want to practice on top of working out today, but then again, she was right. it was his turn to appease her, and he would do so happily. plus, the mirror made it easier to shamelessly admire her without being told he had a staring problem (lovingly.)

changbin continued to indirectly adore juyeon through the mirror even when she finally started the music and they began to go over the miroh choreography ‘just once.’ and even after something he did reminded her of another choreo which lead her down a different tangent. even when she said ‘really, just one more. boxer is almost right!’ changbin only stopped re-committing her features to memory when he could barely stand anymore, the music fading out as he put his hands on his knees with panting breaths.

“up.” juyeon wheezed, her fingers interlocked behind her head. she’d learned a long time ago that bending over compressed the diaphragm when you were trying to catch your breath and strictly enforced the correct way to do it ever since. it hurt like hell, but it was better for your body, so changbin grit his teeth and stood tall on his way to slump into the couch.

juyeon kept her fingers joined on her neck until she sat beside him and picked up the water bottle next to her bag. they were close enough that their shoulders almost touched but far enough that they weren’t actually sweating on each other, which was a nice detail even for the touch-starved physical affectionists.

“one more time” he mocked with a smile, using the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his upper lip “just one more time and then we’ll go home”

the older girl’s eyes took over the role of her smile as she held back laughter while taking a swig from the sticker-covered bottle. then, as a symptom of her unending attention to detail when it came to him, juyeon offered her water to changbin who hadn’t brought one when he came in; probably because he wasn’t planning on getting all hot and sweaty when he came to see the dancers in their natural habitat. his mistake, honestly.

changbin’s hand automatically went to reach for the waterbottle before he stopped to ask, “how much is left?”

“finish it. i’m good until we get home.”

and finish it he did. changbin took big gulps from her water and as juyeon watched his adams apple bob she felt herself start to get distracted - reverted into the cavewoman brain that showed up whenever he was around. distracted by how his chest rose and fell with each breath, skin glossy with sweat, lips and cheeks pink.

she cleared her throat quietly as to not raise any suspicion and forced her eyes away in an effort to re-evolve her brain until her mind wasn’t totally consumed by him anymore, just barely glancing in the mirror to see if he had noticed. and of course, just as always, he was looking at her. she did a double take before furrowing her eyebrows at him, which made him laugh.

“what are you doing?”

“same thing that you were!”

“what was i doing?”

changbin chuckled and nodded toward their reflection. “i saw you looking. you are not slick, kang juyeon.”

she now pushed herself up to look at him face-on again, a playful smile on her lips. “do you think you are? you made miroh look totally different because were too busy looking at me to see yourself! i kept going just to see the -” she wiggled her arms about wildly, an obvious over-exaggeration of his performance but it was enough to have him throwing his head back to rest on the couch with an exasperated sigh.

“you are — !!”

“what?” she nudged him with her shoulder to urge him on “i’m what?”

“…you’re dreamy.” he hummed

juyeon now regretted poking him to say more as her face flushed with embarrassment. she laid her head back, too. “yeah, whatever.”

“don’t ‘yeah whatever’ me. take my compliments! accept my love!” changbin spoke with that grouchy voice that made him stick his lips out to pout “you’re beautiful and charismatic and hardworking and should be acknowledged for your efforts - and your results! because you are incredible.”

there was a beat of silence that left changbin out in the cold until she spoke again. “you think so?”

changbin finally lifted his head to look at her incredulously, like there wasn’t a possibility in the world it was the other way around. but he didn’t question why she didn’t claim her boasting rights, instead he gingerly elbowed her side with a smirk. “of course” he cooed “anyone else would say the same thing.”

her nose crinkled in something similar to a wince, eyes on the ceiling. “but…what do you think of me…”

changbin’s eyebrows knitted together. for a moment he had to stop to think of what to say; there was a lot he thought about her because he thought about her a lot. changbin leaned into her shoulder, nudging her with his weight to regain her attention. she lifted her head now, eyes flicking between his - left to right and right to left again. in the few inches of space between them he spoke artlessly, the fondness and sincerity painfully obvious in his tone.

“i think you’re everything, ju.”

juyeon’s gaze fell to his lips again as she analyzed what he said and the corners of her mouth began to curl upward with the warm hum in her chest. she lingered there with her bottom lip caught between her teeth and, after finally pulling her gaze away, noticed the lag before his eyes met hers again. they were darker all of a sudden - like his pupil had swallowed the iris whole - and his cheeks had ripened from a peachy pink to a deep crimson.

there was a moment of stillness as they stared at one another, silent but comfortable, contemplating the same thing; to take the leap or not. both went through the pros and cons they had meticulously organized in their mind over the years as if there would be a clear answer on the next step, but there wasn’t, and just as changbin came to decide he wouldn’t risk it, juyeon decided she would.

the older girl bridged the gap between them nervous yet eager and, tenderly cupping his cheek in her palm, pressed her bitten lips to his - tentative and salty with sweat. it was soft and familiar, not a drop of haste in her touch. it took him a moment to fully believe the reality he had been gifted on this day but, once he realized her lips were on his after years of pushing those feelings away, changbin’s hands found themselves at her waist as if to hold on so he wouldn’t float away. a fuzzy feeling began to take life in his chest, burning red hot like flames licking at his skin. this overwhelming warmth grew with each passing second spent exactly where he’d always dreamed of until it bubbled scalding magma in his throat and erupted into a grin against her lips, which then made her smile, too.

juyeon sat back and pressed her buzzing lips together, a short laugh slipping past the barricade. “we’re in trouble.” her tone was light in contrast to the serious subject matter.

“not yet,” changbin hummed sweetly “we’re just in the practice room.”

“you know what, i think you’re right.” she concurred with a cunning shrug “maybe tomorrow we could just be in the studio?”

“i can make that happen.” he was quick to blurt out an approving response to this suggestion.

juyeon chuckled softly before her fingers moved automatically to tuck her hair behind her ear, catching her lip in her teeth again but this time for a starkly different reason. “um…we do need to talk, though…”

changbin looked at her now from the darkest depths of yearning, dark eyes now glossy and pleading. “not yet. please. leave it for tomorrow. and tonight can just stay like this.”

she sighed softly almost as if to hide the adoring sparkle in her eyes and brushed away the strands of hair tickling his eyelashes. “okay, binnie.”

“…does that mean we can do that again?”

“you know…i think it does!”

[screampied]

I NEED THE POPSTAR GOJO FIC REAL BAD IMMA TWEAK OUT IN HERE

ITS CUMMING WAIT a few hours 🌜

look sneaky peaky

[staybeautifulmp3]

she's so patronising to him though like a relationship like that would be so annoying. he doesn't need to be told what he feels and what to do about it every day. they're fine as besties but he doesn't want more

two questions: genuinely, im not trying to be snippy at all, is this in reference to something ive said? i checked my recent postings i couldn’t find anything?? and second, um you didn’t specify who you’re talking about .. im guessing donna and harvey on usa legal drama suits? im just gonna answer to the best of my ability, as if this is about donnaharvey which im like 90% sure it is?? okay

i mean, respectfully, i would certainly push back on the idea she “tells him what to do” cus she’s certainly his emotional intelligence like she tells him what hes thinking—or at least her interpretation of what he’s thinking. theres certainly evidence of that, the scene that comes to mind is its in late s3, and mike wants to leave to take the finance job, and harvey snaps at scottie, and donna (very gently) reprimands him for it, and she tells him he’s hurt not angry “you’re hurt and the anger covers the hurt, but i know you didn’t know that.” she definitely provides him with insight into his emotions, but in a way i would argue any friend would.

there’s also a scene from season 2(?) i think, where donna is trying to get harvey to pursue scottie and she tells him to his face “i know your mother hurt you but you need to get over it” or, in other words “sorry about your mommy issues but you need to grow the fuck up.” and again i think thats a perfectly reasonable thing to say as a friend to your friend—she sees him hurting and lonely and she can do something about it, all she needs to do is encourage him to seek out a relationship with a woman who loves him, i think that’s perfectly acceptable.

i really dont see how its patronizing in any way? i mean there are certainly a couple jokes like “men are so stupid lol” but nothing that has really stood out to me as anything different than 2010s network drama gender politics, and so few and far between i cant think of any specific instances off the top of my head.

second of all, to the best of my knowledge (having seen up to 6x05 atp), that all stops when he starts going to therapy. i cant think of a single instance after season 5 when she tells him what hes feeling (i mean maybe she does in seasons 7, 8 + 9 but i haven’t seen it so i cant say lol)

but from what ive seen, her telling him his emotions stops when he starts receiving therapy with a trained professional. and thats just healthy! yknow he no longer needs to be told what hes thinking because he’s learning more about himself and his reaction to trauma and how to be a more functionally stable adult. and after that is the only way he can keep and maintain a meaningful, productive relationship.

also, not to be crass but i 100% think harvey goes face down ass up when someone tells him what to do (especially if its mike or donna or jessica)

finally i do fully respectfully disagree that “theyre good as besties but he doesn’t want more” first of all, i think you might be confusing his repression and inability to parse his love for donna as a woman and his love for donna as a friend, as a lack of attraction. i think a) hes very repressed and messed up from his childhood so like, he can fuck people but loving people is a whole other story and b) he absolutely loves her as a friend, and i think he’s just boxed up his attraction and affection for her since they moved to pearson hardman 10(?) years ago.

second of all, gabriel macht and sarah rafferty you can tell has SOOOOO much fun together and they have so much chemistry, so i distrust any interpretation of donna and harvey that doesn’t think they wanna fuck each others brains out

what was i talking about? i dont think i have a closing statement, i just think donna and harvey’s relationship re:her telling him what to do is completely legitimate and follows a natural progression of two people trying to be healthy adults