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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 4 years

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Biggest Fan 2

Part 1

Warning: coercion, blackmail, porn, nonconsent sex, cheating

It was a long, silent walk back to the office. You rubbed your palm with your thumb as you struggled not to think of the feel of him in your hand. The hardness still barely concealed in his pressed pants.

He opened the door for you and you walked ahead of him. He followed you up the stairs and you felt his gaze on your ass, realising too late your mistake. As you reached your floor, you rushed over to your desk and he let you. He went to his office. It was as if nothing had even happened. As if your hand hadn’t been on his dick only fifteen minutes before.

You took a shuddery breath and logged in to your computer. Most of your work was transcription or shadowing Andy. Nothing overly complicated. Even so, you found it hard to concentrate on your work. You rubbed your forehead and leaned back in your chair. You glanced towards Andy’s office, his door was open, he was watching you, his pen pressed to his bottom lip. He tore his eyes from you and grabbed his phone.

You wanted to be sick. You drew your attention back to your screen and forced yourself to type. The buzz of your phone distracted you but you ignored it. It vibed again and you slid it out of your blazer pocket onto your desk. You positioned it just under your monitor and unlocked it.

‘Today. After work.’ The first text read and the second hovered above. ‘I can’t wait for the real thing’.

You swept away the bubbles and blinked at the computer screen. He was like a teenager. This man you’d looked up to, this man you’d admired for his professionalism, his veracity, were just like those boys in your program who tried to talk you into one of their stupid red cup parties. And he was married. The thought made you want to sob but you just forced down the bile and kept typing.

Though the morning had dragged by, the rest of the day seemed to fly. You looked at the clock and your phone lit up. Another message from him. You packed up your things before you dare to grab your cell and reluctantly looked at it. ‘Got a meeting with Canavan. Meet me at Joe’s down the block, 20 min.’

You looked over and found his office empty. You’d been so determined to ignore him, you hadn’t even noticed him leave. You grabbed your bag and headed out. Joe’s was a coffee place just down the block, you always grabbed Andy a small coffee when you got yours. Wait, had you led him on? With coffee?

No, no. He was a forty year old man and you were just a college student. This wasn’t your fault. Well, those were your pictures on the internet. You had put them there.

You barely recalled making your descent onto the street or hurrying down to the little cafe. You ordered a bottle of juice so you could sit in the corner. You picked at the unbroken seal and your leg shook nervously beneath the table. What were you doing? If you just ignored him, would he really send those pictures? Andy was a good guy… or so you thought.

You were startled as the table shifted and he sat across from you. He smoothed the front of his suit and smiled at you then looked around.

“We shouldn’t stay here long,” He said. “Too close to work.”

“You can’t be serious about this?” You kept your voice low. “Andy, I--”

“Shhh,” He raised his hand. “Look, we don’t have time to waste.”

You stared at him and gulped.

“First thing, delete your account.” He said.

“What? I can’t-- That’s how I--”

“I told you. I’ll take care of you.” He interrupted. “Delete it. Now.”

“You’re married,” You whispered. “Why--”

“I know what I am. What I want.” He turned his hand down onto the table. “Ten seconds or I add your professor to the CC.”

“Goddamnit,” You bent and reached into your bag.

You sat up with your phone and keyed in the code. You opened the app and he took the phone before you could hit anything else. He placed it on the table between you and went to settings. You watched as he scrolled through the settings and finally found the option to delete. He accepted several warnings before everything just disappeared. He turned the phone back to you and slid it forward.

He stood and sighed as he checked his watch. “Alright. Laurie’s taken Jacob to his tournament so we should have some time. Let’s go.”

📚

Andy’s house was nice. Much nicer than your small apartment near the college. You felt out of place as he drove right into the garage and let you in through the side door. You hated that you were sneaking around. Hated that you were doing this at all.

You entered the kitchen and he turned to you. He took your bag and set it on the counter. You shuddered as you lifted your foot and he stopped you.

“Keep the shoes on,” He smiled. “I like ‘em.”

“Are you… sure about all this?” You lowered your foot slowly. “My account is gone, you made sure of it.”

“That’s not what this is about,” He grabbed your arm and wrenched you forward. He took your hand in his and pressed it to his crotch again. “Feel that. That’s what you do to me. Every fucking day.”

“Andy--”

He spun you and pushed you against the island. You saw a flowered notebook on the other side. That was probably hers, just like the man behind you. He leaned his weight against you as he gripped your waist and purred.

“I can’t help but think of you on my desk as I’m sitting on it but this will have to do,” His hand went to your ass and he slapped you hard. “Oh, fuck.”

His hands crawled up to your shoulders and he pulled your blazer off. He dropped it on the floor and reached around to unbutton your blouse. You grabbed his hand and he brushed you off.

“Don’t make this difficult, baby girl,” He warned. “Don’t tell me this isn’t what you wanted all along?” He tore your blouse open and forced it down your arms. “Posting those pictures.”

“Please--”

“Shhh, don’t want the neighbours to hear.” He flung your shirt. “They always are so fucking nosy.”

You hung your head as he unzipped the back of your skirt, pulling back to let it slip past your hips. It pooled on the tile and he stepped on it until you lifted your feet one at a time and he kicked it away. You regretted your ridiculous choice not to wear underwear. Well, it had been more a dare and earned you a smooth fifty on your paypal.

“Fuck.” He rubbed your ass as his other hand fought with his belt.

You smelled his woodsy cologne as his fumbling grew more frantic. You heard the soft metallic clink and his zipper as he pushed it down. He wiggled as he shoved his pants down. His hand went around to your stomach and he guided himself along your ass his foot between yours as he urged your legs apart.

You slapped your hands on the island as he dragged his swollen tip along your folds and found your entrance with a hum. He pushed inside you and jolted your hips into the edge of the counter, nuzzling his head into your neck as he leaned into you. His hot breath was wet against your skin as he forced himself to his limit.

“Shit,” You swore as you stretched around him.

“Mmmm,” He hummed and thrusted hard, lingering inside you as he basked in the feel. “God, you’re even better than I could have--” He rocked his hips again and choked. “Jesus.”

You scratched your nails against the marble island and pushed your head back against his shoulder as he moved his hips steadily, each tilt coming quicker than the last. You gritted your teeth as you tried to fight off your own arousal. Despite your reluctance, your core burned hot and you could hear how slick you were with each thrust.

He withdrew his hand from your stomach and grabbed your shoulders. He pushed you down until you were bent over the island and your feet left the floor. He held you down as his motion picked up and he slammed into you with dusky grunts. With each jolt of his hips, yours hit the marble and you held your breath to keep from moaning.

You closed your eyes and pressed your cheek to the cool counter. Your lips formed an O as you came quietly, covering your face with your arm. He crashed into you harder than before, you felt your juices spreading along the open v of his pants and the tails of his shirt. He gripped your hips and his thumbs dug into your flesh.

He pulled out of you sharply and swore as he spilled down your thigh, stroking himself along so that his tip rubbed his seed over your skin. Breathless, he spread his hand over your lower back then dragged it down to your ass and squeezed.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” He rasped.

He drew his hand and backed away. You slid off the island and your feet wobbled beneath you, your heels almost perilous as your legs buzzed. Andy leaned against the other counter as he wiped himself with a paper towel and put his cock away. He zipped up his pants and buckled his belt before tucking in his shirt and straightening his collar.

“Whew,” He took a breath. “Baby girl, that was worth every last penny.” He looked you up and down and bit his lip. “Better get dressed before the wife gets back.”

#andy barber #dark andy barber x reader #dark andy barber #dark!andy barber #dark!andy barber x reader #andy barber x reader #drabble #sequel #biggest fan #defending jacob

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nerddface · 5 years

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The Fight & The Fall

Characters: Eret, Son of Eret , Reader

Warnings: Nothing :)

Word count: 2600 whew

Notes: this is v late and has a v bad cheesy title. Shoutout to Men in Tights for the reference ;)

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Eret wasn’t even on Y/N’s radar. She had bigger priorities than this new human member of their team, like figuring out how they were going to integrate another dragon with her incredibly sensitive scaredy-cat of a dragon. Muds was small for a Stormcutter, only slightly more than half the size of her cousin, Cloudjumper, and somewhat dim in comparison, as well. The sharp, innate ability of Stormcutters to distinguish between friend and foe was duller in this poor creature, and it took some doing to earn her trust. Because of her size (or lack thereof), she was meticulous about knowing who was in her surroundings. She knew where every other dragon in a formation was, and attacked just about anything out of place. It took several weeks, quick reflexes, and dozens of treats to teach her a new strategy, and that was just with the original five, familiar dragons. The momentary addition of Heather back on the Edge hadn’t gone well, and Y/N and Muds were grounded most of her stay. Just looking at Eret’s loud, brash Rumblehorn gave her a headache.

Muds, of course, didn’t like him, either. She had a particularly difficult time understanding the shift between “Strange-Hostile-Person-Whom-We’ve-Never-Met” to “Eret-Now-A-Friend-Of-Dragons”. Stoick had visited infrequently with Skullcrusher before, so they were essentially starting from square one. Stormfly, bless her, had done her best to show the younger dragon that the new additions to their team were not threats, but poor Muds just hadn’t grasped the concept yet. Y/N kept Muds and herself at a distance from them, only exchanging short words with Eret over supper to remain civil. He seemed to keep his distance, as well, perhaps not fond of being the odd one out as the new guy, not to mention Ruffnut would hardly leave him alone. Y/N knew too well what the twins’ attention meant, in any capacity, and she couldn’t blame Eret for being scarce.

Hiccup, apparently, had had more than enough of both of their reclusive habits and had called them to the arena at the crack of dawn. He stood now with his arms crossed over his chest, one hand gripping a leather-bound notebook and a stick of charcoal, considering both of them across the sizeable distance they’d put between each other.

“Closer.”

A glance over at Eret revealed to Y/N he was just as confused as she was. “What?”

“We’re here to acclimatize Muds to Skullcrusher, and, by extent, the two of you. That’s not going to happen if you’re standing an ocean apart. A step closer won’t kill you.”

Y/N frowned, but took a step forward. Muds followed close at her back, her head swiveling and the end of her tail flicking as she tried to make sense of the two across the stone from her.

Eret followed, Skullcrusher rumbled up behind him, and Muds chittered.

“I have an idea.” Hiccup leveled both of them with his I-mean-business look. “It should work if both of you cooperate.”

Y/N shrugged. ”Yeah.” Eret also nodded his agreement.

“Great. It’s pretty simple. Eret, Muds is comfortable with Y/N, and the smell of Y/N. I want you to wear her cloak, and Y/N can re-introduce you slowly. Muds may be a little easier to convince that you’re friendly if you smell friendly.”

Surprisingly, it worked. By working gradually, with plenty of gentle assurances and praise on Y/N’s part, Eret could stroke both of Muds’ sides from nose to tail, and Skullcrusher could make a full, slow circle around her at a moderate pace, even without Y/N’s scent draped over them.

“Great,” their leader conceded after about an hour of exercises. “We’ll pick back up tomorrow morning. Y/N, I’d recommend giving Muds a good break.”

Eret handed Y/N her cloak back, and their hands brushed momentarily. She threw it over her shoulders, catching a hint of his scent still clinging to the material. For some reason, it made her strangely nervous. She decided she was not a fan.

“Wonderful. Great lesson. Bye, Hiccup, bye, Emmet.”

Eret didn’t have enough time to process what she’d said and correct her before she was swinging herself into her saddle and taking to the air.

Hiccup sighed and scribbled something in his notebook, leaving them in momentary silence, save for the skittering of dragon claws on the stone as Toothless tracked circles around a disinterested Skullcrusher.

“Sort of quiet, isn’t she?” Eret commented, watching her and Muds leave the arena behind. Hiccup tried unsuccessfully to stifle a chortling laugh, and the newest rider turned to him with a frown.

“What?”

“Y/N is anything but quiet. We thought the same thing, at first, but don’t let it fool you. She’s got a tongue sharp enough to cut off that fluffy braid of yours.”

“Really?” He paused before asking further, “Why doesn’t she speak to me?”

Hiccup shrugged. “Sometimes I’m not sure if her or her dragon is more wary of strangers. I guess neither of them-- ahem-- quite like you.”

Eret’s brow creased further as he looked back up to see Muds’ tail flick around a sea stack and out of sight.

With the dragon bonding underway, the others tried to help the two humans in the equation, in their own way. The twins tried their “T’n’T” (Tried-and-True Tightrope) Method, which thankfully did not involve any explosives. Despite having worked on Dagur and Mala previously, it wasn’t the best approach for Eret and Y/N. The newcomer tumbled off before any semblance of a match could begin, while Y/N, long-accustomed to wave-riding on dragons, balanced atop the swinging tightrope cooly, examining her nails as Eret spat dirt out of his mouth.

Fighlegs tried meditating. It seemed to work-- until he realized the reason they hadn’t been making sarcastic jabs at each other was because they had both fallen asleep.

Astrid just shrugged her shoulders. “You’ll get over each other.”

Snotlout was the last to assist, and had led them both to an open patch of beach on the far side of the island.

“Hiccup is wrong,” he announced as Hookfang found a comfortable spot to nap. “He’s great with dragons, but people are my speciality. I know what you two need.”

Y/N and Eret both stared, silently, waiting for him to continue. He shifted his weight and sighed. “Listen. In the Jorgenson household, we handle things the old fashioned way. The correct way. The only way. No dragons, no ‘talking it out’ or whatever soggy garbage.”

He gestured to behind Y/N with a wave of his arm. “Astrid, if you would.” Y/N turned to see the blonde atop Stormfly, who was coaxing Muds down the beach. Her dragon was, albeit a little cautiously, following at a steady pace. She could play with the Nadder for hours if she was allowed. Y/N frowned and quirked a brow but let it happen.

“Never expect another favor like this, Snotlout,” Astrid called over her shoulder, jabbing a finger at him.

“Yeah, yeah, screw you, Snotlout, I get it, just take the Stormcutter somewhere else. Far away.”

As Muds got further away down the beach, the viking produced a chicken wing from the bag slung across his shoulders.

“You too, big guy.” He waved it before Skullcrusher’s nose until it caught his attention, then slung the chicken and the bag as far as he could, into the trees. The Rumblehorn chased it, rumbling happily, and leaving the humans alone.

Snotlout picked up a large stick from the ground and began tracing a large circle in the sand around them. “Sometimes,” he explained, “You’ve just gotta throw a couple punches. Really brings people together.”

“What, exactly,” Eret questioned, peering over Y/N’s shoulder as Snotlout completed his ring, “are you suggesting?”

Snotlout bonked the stick on the top of Eret’s head. “Fight.”

Y/N snorted, sparing a glance to Eret, who seemed just as apprehensive. “Sorry?”

“Sparring,” Snotlout assured. “Nothing serious. Just to get to know one another.”

“What do I win?” Y/N asked, crossing her arms across her chest. Eret scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Uh, the thrill of victory? Eternal bragging rights? My praise?” Snotlout tossed his stick aside and waved a hand dismissively. “Now get to it. That chicken isn’t going to last forever, and I will not be responsible for that dragon when he comes back.”

When Y/N looked over to Eret, she found his gaze already on her, one brow raised, as if he were asking her agreement to continue. She heaved a short breath.

“Why not? Not like you could do much damage anyway, Egret.”

The comment was sharp, but her voice wasn’t, and a smile tugged at her mouth as she planted her feet shoulder-width apart and balled her fists.

“You’ll see what Eret, son of Eret, is capable of. I’ve taken on whole crews single-handedly!” Eret struck first, feigning to the left before striking at her with his right fist. She missed it with plenty of room to spare. She kept up her defense, knocking half-hearted blows away with ease.

“Oh, please!” she exclaimed. “Are you throwing fists, or flowers?”

Eret’s stance widened and he pulled his fists closer before lunging forward with more force. Y/N had to compensate heavily on her right foot to get out of the way in time, and attempted a feint to the left to get her balance back. It wasn’t very convincing, and he almost got her to trip up before she got her feet right under her, still trying to find an opening in his defense.

He laughed sharply as she dodged another meaty fist. “All bark, but no bite, are you?”

Y/N chuckled breathlessly, and dropped close to the ground and changed her tactics. She swiped a leg out, trying to catch his heel. He jumped over it, but that was what she wanted; she balanced herself on her palms and swung herself around, slamming her other leg into his ankles just as they touched the ground.

He lost his footing and hit the sand with a heavy thud, but recovered quickly, and rolled to avoid her pinning him down. He used his momentum to swing an arm at her head as he got back to his feet. She ducked beneath it and managed a sharp jab to his ribs before he twisted out of her reach.

Eret’s hair was disheveled from his momentary grounding, and his face was flush with effort. Y/N was struck, for a moment, by the glimmer in his eyes and the flash of his teeth. The tattoo on his chin distorted slightly as he frowned with concentration, When did his face get to be that handsome? She was so lost in this moment of admiration that she didn’t catch his palm coming to box at her ear. The sharp blow shook her head out of its bizarre little mood and back into the fight, but as she caught his calf mid-kick she found her breath trembling like the muscle beneath her fingertips.

If Eret noticed her mind was elsewhere, he didn’t ease up on her, and pressed his offense forward, pushing her to the edge of the ring. She was back on strict defense, deflecting blows and dancing out of the way of his rapid punches.

He tried a kick at her at the same time she made a move to duck under his range of fire and strike at his abdomen. Her right leg hooked with his left, and her shoulder collided with his hip, sending them both to the sand. They ended up in a tangled heap, winded both from the fight and the fall.

Eret groaned, and Y/N felt it more than she heard it. He struggled to brace himself up, but only got to his elbows before wincing. His hiss of breath sounded sharply in her ear, and she was sure he could feel the same pain that was blooming in her shoulders. She shifted the knee that had buried in his side, and he lifted his heavy chest off of hers. One of his hands had trapped her bicep above her head, and a thigh was snug between hers.

She cracked her eyes open through the ringing in her head, and met his. She sucked in a breath, of either shock or something else she didn’t know-- the scent of leather and the sea filled her head, and the space between them superheated in an instant. Was it just her imagination, or did she see the same expression of hesitant wonderment in his face? She couldn’t be sure that he had leaned forward just a hair, but she was sure that her heart rate took another spike.

The world seemed to grind to a halt around them, until Snotlout kicked Eret’s thigh. “Round’s over! I didn’t need you two to get that close.”

Eret scrambled off of her, and offered a hand to help her up. Y/N accepted it, hoping he couldn’t tell her hands were getting clammy. She very pointedly studied the sand around them as Snotlout sighed.

“Eret landed top of the pile, so he wins, but really, we all win, don’t we?” He slung his arms around both of their shoulders, yanking them down to the same height. “Would you consider you to be friends, now? Wouldn’t you say that sparring match was just what you needed?”

Y/N wriggled away, but her sneer was breaking into a smile. “Not to your credit, Snotlout.”

“Nonsense. Another rift mended by the expertise of one Snotlout Jorgenson!” He released Eret but ground a fist into his bicep with a grin. “My dad will be so excited to hear that it worked!” He climbed into his dragon’s saddle and jerked his horns. “Let’s go do the family name proud, Hookfang! Have fun being friends! And don’t worry, you can thank me later!”

The pair of troublemakers took off, leaving Eret and Y/N in relative peace. Distantly, Skullcrusher was rumbling through the brush and crunching on bones, but they still had a good minute or so before he returned. Muds was likely still scampering about with Stormfly somewhere out of earshot.

Y/N cleared her throat, trying to regain the confidence that had until just recently come so easy to her. “Well, Amit. Since you won, I guess it’s only fair that you pick your prize.”

He mulled it over for a moment, hoping the blush that flared up on his face was still hidden under the pretense of exertion. Half of those thoughts did not have any right to be in his head at that moment. He schooled his voice into steadiness before speaking. “You... could help me with the training arena? I’m on cleaning duty this week.”

Y/N shrugged. “Sure. Maybe I could get some dusting done with that little brush back here.” She ruffled the spiky end of his hair, and he laughed.

“Bad idea. Dust makes me sneeze.”

“We’ll figure something out, Achoo, son of A-sneeze. We may need a lot of water. You could use a bath, anyway.”

She was joking, but he was suddenly trying to remember the last time he’d washed. “Really?”

Her laugh lifted his chest and the corners of his lips. Her eyes sparkled as her gaze sidled over his face. “No, Eric. You’re fine.”

“It’s Eret.”

“I know, Aaron.”

Eret sighed, but didn’t complain. For her favor, he could take a couple new names. And maybe... one day she’d be saying his name right.

#eret son of eret #eret x reader #httyd fanfic #minimal editing lmao #i've been trying to grind through this #and it was mostly done for like the LONGEST TIME #but there was this one little bit #that just wouldn't fit together quite #and it was KILLING ME #KILLING ME I TELLYOU #eret

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tera-91 · 6 years

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Bruises … and a Movie?

Whew! I finished this just in time for Virgil’s name reveal day! So this started out as something loosely based on Fall Out Boy’s A little less Sixteen Candles music video buuut I couldn't get the vampire thing quite right so it morphed into this. Also this is my first Sander Sides fic soo yeah, if I tagged you its because I have read something of yours and loved it and think you’re an awesome writer and would love your feedback <3. I would love feedback regardless if I tagged you though.

Pairing: LAMP/CALM could be platonic but can also be seen as romantic

Warnings: bruises, slight mention of fighting/attack, pain, comfort, care, FLUFFY, Deceit mention, Remy mention

Notes: I love Virgil I swear! Also I have nothing against individuals named Sam, just had to give Deceit a name.

Word Count: 2777

They all met their sophomore year in college. Roman was a Theater major but minored in English and met Virgil in a British Literature class. Virgil was an English major and while he minored in Art he met Patton during an outing for digital photography. Patton had also been minoring in Art as he majored in Psychology where he met Logan in Social Psychology. Logan on the other hand was a double major in both Psychology and Astronomy. Despite having varied interest academically, they all loved music in some form or fashion. Growing up they all learned how to play a guitar, bass, or drums. Now that they met each other and eventually moved in together they could all play each instrument to varying abilities.

Patton stared at Virgil’s door for what seemed like the hundredth time. They were all worried about him. He had gone out a few nights ago and none of them had seen him since, they had heard him in his room so they knew he made it back, but he wouldn’t open the door or come out. He had never been hidden away from them that long since he had moved into the home.

“Virge?” Patton called as he lightly knocked on the door. “Wanna come out?” He asked just loud enough that he knew Virgil would be able to hear him as he leaned his head against the door.

It was a few heart beats to long for Patton when he heard Virgil’s reply. It nearly broke Patton’s heart, in more ways than one. A strangled sounding “No” could just barely be heard through the solid wooden door.

Patton deflated slightly as he leaned more of his weight on the door. “Please Virge? We’re worried about you. We haven’t seen you in days.” Patton was taken by surprise at the tell-tale sound of the door knob turning and didn’t have any time to react as the door opened. He mentally prepared himself for the impact with the floor, but it never came. He hit something solid, covered in soft fabric and heard a pained grunt. He slowly opened his eyes to realize Virgil had caught him and he was being held against his chest. Any embarrassment he would have felt quickly got overshadowed by concern. The dark circles under his eyes looked darker than usual, despite having his hood up what hair could be seen was greasy as if he hadn’t taken a shower in days, and what speared Patton in the heart was the look of fear in Virgil’s eyes as he stared down at Patton.

“Hey Pat!” the pair heard Roman call out. Virgil went to retreat back into his room, but Patton reacted quickly and held on to Virgil like his life depended on it. Virgil stood stock still and looked like a deer in headlights when Roman rounded the corner and saw him and Patton. “V-virgil?” Roman kicked himself for choking slightly. He wanted to run and hug Virgil but he stopped himself after a couple of steps, knowing the other wasn’t the biggest fan of sudden physical contact.

When Patton felt Virgil relax slightly and was sure the other wouldn’t try to bolt back into his room Patton slowly loosened his grip and leaned back but still kept a grip on his arms. “C’mon Virge?” Patton asked gently as he pulled Virgil’s arms slightly. He sounded so quiet and sad that Virgil melted and followed as he was led to the living room by Patton with Roman following after them.

As the three made their way into the living room Logan, who was sitting on the couch reading a book looked up, was taken aback at the sight of Virgil. He slowly marked his place and put the book down without looking away from the group. He looked like he was torn between staying quite and saying something. Patton urged Virgil to sit on the couch next to Logan who had an arm reached out. Slowly Virgil relented and sat down next to Logan who then put his arm around Virgil’s shoulders.

Roman slowly made his way and stood in front of Virgil, he didn’t want the other to feel cornered and risk him running away. Slowly he placed his hand on Virgil’s knee and sank down so he was kneeling in front of Virgil. Virgil looked down at Roman, a look of fear and uncertainty in his eyes. Roman hated seeing Virgil with that expression on his face, the worst part about it was that he didn’t know what caused it or how to fix it.

“Virge? …” Roman began wanting so desperately to find out why the resident emo had been avoiding them the last few days but his uncertainty caused any other words to stick in his throat. The three sat in awkward silence as they waited for Patton. They could hear various cabinet doors being opened and shut as well as clinks from mugs. Soon Patton made his way into the room. He walked around the couch but tripped on the edge of the area rug that Roman’s drum set sat on for quick mobility to pull it out of the way when he wasn't practicing, which he had left out when he had gone to get Patton to listen to his latest composition.

Virgil was the first to react “Pat-ugh” Virgil called out as he jumped up from his seat and went to catch Patton but faltered in pain before Logan pulled him back onto the couch. Roman reacted a split second later and was able to reach and pull Patton in such a way that the taller man could catch the smaller in his lap as he took the brunt of the impact with his own body.

Neither payed attention to the now spilled hot cocoa on the carpet nor did they pay attention to any pain of their own that bloomed from their fall. Both men looked up at Virgil from their position on the floor to see him hunched over on the couch half in Logan’s lap with his head on the others shoulder and an arm curled around his midsection and his face twisted in pain.

“Virgil!” Patton all but screamed as he jumped out of Roman’s lap. When he reached Virgil he gently placed his hands on either side of the others face. “Virge, where does it hurt hun?” Patton asked softly as he ran his left hand up along Virgil’s face and up threw his unwashed hair before pushing off the hood. Patton couldn’t stop the gasp from making its way out. The right side of Virgil’s jaw bruised, the color almost matching the purple of his jacket perfectly. Virgil’s eyes shut tighter as he pushed his face into Logan’s neck with a groan. He didn’t want Patton to see the bruises. The sudden movement momentarily stole his breath and had caused every bruise, every cut to scream at him. He couldn’t even react when he heard the zipper to his jacket being undone.

The three shared a concerned look and nodded in silent agreement. As gently as they could Logan helped Roman move Virgil onto the floor, so they could look him over more easily. Gingerly, Roman traded places with Logan and sat with Virgil’s back against his chest as Logan and Patton took off Virgil’s jacket and subsequently his shirt. Once they were done, they were all speechless.

Virgil had finally opened his eyes, his breathing evening out as they pain faded to a dull ache. He glanced over to his right, it nearly broke his heart, where Patton sat with both of his hands covering his mouth and tears threatening to spill. Logan was to his left, expression schooled but he could see the anger in his eyes. He relaxed just enough to turn his head to be able to see Roman. Since he was the tallest and with Roman leaning over his shoulder the way he was, presumably to be able to see the bruises, it wasn’t that difficult. Roman was beyond anger, Virgil could practically see steam coming out of his ears.

“Who did this to you? I’ll-“ Roman began.

“No.” Logan cut him off.

“But he’s -“ Roman started to protest but stopped when he saw the look in Logan’s eyes. If it was possible the look alone would kill whoever did this to Virgil as quickly as if the aggressors name was written in the Death Note.

“No, Roman. He will be fine. I’m sure it hurts like hell and while this looks bad, he is only bruised.” Logan stated as he ran his hands along Virgil’s torso pushing down in various places. Despite Virgil’s occasional groans and hisses Roman relaxed, Logan was a trained paramedic after all. He settled on simply reaching for and holding the man in his arms hand.

Virgil moved to sit up, with the aid of Roman, he moved so that his back was up against the couch. He reached towards Patton who had yet to move, tears now free flowing, a mixture of relief and worry settled onto his face. Patton quickly slid to Virgil’s side, on his knees he was just taller than Virgil, and pulled Virgil’s head so that it was cradled against his chest. With a grunt from Virgil he instantly loosened his grip around the others’ head with a low “sorry”. Virgil quieted the others worry by wrapping his free arm around Patton’s waist and gave it a quick squeeze in a half hug but kept his arm there.

“However,” Logan started which caused Virgil to pull his head away from Patton’s embrace. “I would like to know who caused these injuries.” Logan finished as he sat on his knees in front of Virgil, arms crossed. Virgil made a move to protest, but Logan simply quirked an eyebrow and gestured to his tie, to show he was serious. Virgil sighed and laid his head against Patton’s chest, who had wrapped his arm around Virgil’s shoulder and began to run his free hand through Virgil’s mahogany brown hair.

“It was Sam.” Virgil said before he buried his face in Patton’s shirt, enjoying the feeling of having his hair played with.

“That SNAKE!” Roman exclaimed before he made a move to stand which was quickly halted by Virgil who pulled Roman back, hands still intertwined. Roman’s anger quickly dissipated as he watched Patton sooth Virgil. Roman huffed, “Why would he do that? How many times has he stayed here? Had dinner with us?” Roman asked.

Virgil turned his head, not yet willing to have Patton stop his ministrations. “Before I moved in with you guys, I didn’t have anywhere to stay. In college I had the dorms but once graduation happened I had no fall back. For the few complexes I could afford the monthly rent, I didn’t have enough saved up for the two-month down payment plus the application fee and all that.” Virgil began, he felt Patton’s grip around him tighten, he had never told them.

“Virgil! That was almost six months!” Patton exclaimed. “N-not that I kept track.” He mumbled as a blush appeared on his face.

Virgil leaned back, already missing Patton’s fingers through his hair. “I had met Sam halfway through Junior year, I let him stay over now and again, I didn’t know he was homeless until summer break. He really helped me when I couldn’t stay in the dorms. I thought he was my friend until a few nights ago.” He finished quietly as he made a reach for his shirt.

“That, that-“ Roman stumbled, unsure of what to say as he handed Virgil his clothes back.

“Deceit” Logan said. At the quizzical look Roman gave him Logan continued “Deceit, or to deceive. To cause someone to believe in a falsehood, in this case his continued friendship with Virgil, to gain a personal advantage, to acquire temporary shelter and food in his dorm and then our home.” Logan finished as he stood. “Now, lets get Virgil back on the couch, it will be far more comfortable than the floor.” He said as he exited the room.

With some help Virgil stood up. He and Roman made their way to the chaise end of the couch so they would have room to stretch out. Roman sat down first and got comfortable before he reached for Virgil, who settled in between Romans legs with his back against Roman’s chest like they had been on the floor. Roman put his arms under Virgil’s and held him in a loose hug, hands resting on Virgil’s stomach and chin resting on Virgil’s head. Patton waited until they were comfortable before he swiftly picked up the almost-forgotten mug and took it back to the kitchen.

Logan returned with a glass of water and held a closed hand out to Virgil. “A low dose pain medication.” He stated as Virgil reached out and took the medication and glass. Virgil took it without complaint as Logan slowly crawled onto the couch to Virgil and Roman’s left, in between them and the arm of the couch. He watched as Virgil downed most of the glass before he took it away and sat it on the table beside the couch.

Patton returned briefly to expertly clean the carpet before he disappeared back into the kitchen. When Patton reappeared seconds later, this time he expertly carried four mugs instead of just the one and made sure he didn’t trip.

“Hey Pattoncake? Would you please put the Nightmare Before Christmas in the DVD player for the skeleton here?” Roman asked, a slight playful edge to his voice and a smirk on his face.

“Sure Ro!” Patton said excitedly as he placed two mugs on the table beside Logan and two on the table in front of the couch.

“I have told you multiple times Virgil is within an acceptable weight range for his height.” Logan said as he reached for the Doctor Who mug and Nightmare Before Christmas mug, handing Virgil’s mug to him.

Virgil snorted as he took the mug from Logan “He is just playing Lo, he means skeleton in the same way he means when he calls you specks.”

Logan seemed to understand, “Ah, it appears your humor still baffles me occasionally.”

“It’s okay Princey! We still love you.” Patton said with a smile as he picked up the mug with the Disney castle and 101 dalmatian mug before he settled onto the couch to Roman and Virgil’s right. Roman disconnected his hands and pulled his arms out from around Virgil, who let out an almost inaudible sound of displeasure. Roman grabbed the castle mug and set it in his left hand, he took a sip and laid his arm against Virgil’s before he threw his right arm around Patton’s shoulders.

As the previews began to play Logan spoke up. “Why did Sam attack you? How did you get home? More importantly why didn’t you tell us? I would’ve provided medical care sooner.” He asked while he looked at Virgil.

“He just got really mad out of nowhere and started swinging at me. I got a few punches in but afterwards Remy helped me back.” Virgil said as he reached up with his left hand and grabbed a fist full of his hair as he avoided any of their eyes. “I didn’t want to worry you”. He said, he didn’t want them to see that he was weak, that he didn’t deserve to live with them. He slowly unclenched his hair and looked up as Patton gently cupped his unbruised cheek and put just enough pressure, so his face would turn towards Patton.

“Oh Virge, no matter what he said you’re not weak and you do deserve to live with us.” He paused “We love you, and if you keep talking about yourself like that I will physically fight you.” Patton said with a chuckle as he let go of Virgil and pushed his glasses up to wipe what remained of the tears from his eyes. Virgil stared in shock he hadn’t realized he said all of it out loud. “When you’re not hurting.” Patton quickly added as he sat back and leaned against Roman while taking Logan’s free hand across Virgil’s lap and effectively looping Virgil into a four-way hug.

The opening dialog and opening of This is Halloween captured their attention. A small smile made its way to Virgil’s face as they all snuggled together on the couch, with their hot cocoa and each other, watching a movie that they all loved, whether they all admitted that fact or not.

@not-so-innocent-bi-sander @princeanxious @j-d-lightful @sandersfander1820 @myjamofchoiceis-crofters @could-always-be-gayer-2 @teacupfulofstarshine

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heavenzfiend · 6 years

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Top 10 Otome Husbands

Oh @rubyleeray, thanks for tagging me! This took a lot of thought to put together! I never know if I have a ‘type’ of guy I like in otome games so maybe someone can help me figure it out from this list :P Without further ado in no particular order…

1. Jumin Han, Mystic Messenger

Jumin would be the most perfect husband in the world. Despite being ridiculously rich, he would not hesitate using his money/power to help his friends or others in need—it really shows that he deeply cares about others, especially the RFA and his family, even though some people assume he’s cold and dominating. I like how he is extremely hard-working (Jaehee herself confirmed this) while also having such an unexpected cute side of cat-lover and cross-stitching aficionado. What is not to like about this man?

2. Jihyun Kim (V), Mystic Messenger

V… honestly, he was the first character I liked as soon as I played MM for shallow reasons: He looks hot (the blue hair was really eye-catching and appealed to me for some reason) and his voice was so soothing. His voice really makes me feel like everything will be okay. I can only say my love for him grew as I found all the crazy stuff he went through which triggered my maternal instincts (?) to protect him. I really, truly want the best for him……….and a kiss scene. Please. I need it, Cheritz.

3. Kojuro Katakura, Samurai Love Ballad: Party

I would feel so safe with Lord Kojuro. He would protect me from the scary world of Sengoku Jidai (well, when Masamune doesn’t also need to be saved) and he would push me to be the best I can be. I love how he trusts and respects MC. Also a bonus that he is an experienced lord *wink*. I can’t decide if I like him with his hair up more or natural hair ‘down’… but why am I even contemplating this? Oh Lord Kojuro *whimper*…

4. Hideyoshi Toyotomi, Samurai Love Ballad: Party

He’s so intuitive and cheeky, which really appeals to me. You really can’t hide anything from him and he would be able to get out of any situation using his wits. He rose from the bottom of the social class, which makes him humble and understanding of people of any background. Most of the time he’s smiling and it makes me feel happy to be around him. Also, he has these bedroom eyes that… ah… Anyways, can’t pinpoint a specific reason why I like Hideyoshi so much… but all that matters is: Hideyoshi. Is. Bae.

5. Toshiaki Kijima, Irresistible Mistakes

I didn’t think I would like him much when I played the prologue but I realized how caring and hard-working he is and I have fallen hard for Toshiaki. Hard. The dude looks so sad most of the time; I need to give him a hug (and never let go). People might think he is boring and doesn’t care about others but I think the truth is quite the opposite—he cares way too much. He would be a difficult, yet rewarding boss and supportive boyfriend/hubs. Toshiaki’s sad smile still lingers in my heart~ oof.

6. Toma Kiriya, Irresistible Mistakes

OH TOMA IS GREAT. Yeah, really great. I think it will be great to have a boyfriend/husband like him in real life too! I love the dynamic between him and MC—the joking, teamwork, sexual tension emitting from office romance—just great! Sometimes he does say things that can ‘hurt’ and I’m like, “Toma, why did you say that?!” but he himself is quick to realize his mistakes and makes up for it. Plus, I can’t ignore the swimmer body and looks-wise he’s extremely handsome. Glasses only makes him look smarter AKA hotter in my books.

7. Yuri, Nameless ~The one thing you must recall~

When Yuri isn’t a flirty, womanizing mess he’s actually a wise man—err, doll. I really fell for him during his route but even moreso in Tei’s route! Since he is normally a very flirty character, when he acts sincerely, I think the impact was more strongly felt. Maybe I also liked how he is the only adult doll in the group thus becoming a teacher and creating the thrilling teacher-student relationship… I personally just like age-gap romance *shrug*. If I close my eyes, I can still hear Yuri calling me “my darling” and it makes me smile and feel special.

8. Tei, Nameless ~The one thing you must recall~

Tei, Tei, Tei… why do I like you so much? I actually didn’t like him for the longest time and was deathly afraid of him (hahahahaha *nervous laughter*) but then after playing his route I finally understand what’s wrong with him and just want to say, “Tei, it’s okay. I still like you no matter what.” I feel like ‘Mom Tei’ will take care of me so well and I can really just depend on him. There literally isn’t anyone else who loves MC more than Tei and I just find him so hot. I literally kept saying “oh no no no Tei... no… please” and was scared and aroused at the same time XD. I think a MAJOR reason I like him is because of HIS VOICE ACTOR (I literally became a fan of Hong Beomgi and listen to all his radios and clips and am so grateful I’m Korean because of it—but that’s going way off tangent here.)

9. Misao Higuchi, Rose in the Embers

I just started playing Rose in the Embers so maybe I will end up liking someone else more but for now, I just love Misao so much. First of all, he looks absolutely gorgeous. I mean, maybe it’s the character design/graphics of the game, but Misao is so amazingly hot?! And the way he just looks at you and can see your soul and all your deep thoughts and feelings and just expose you like that… gosh. Despite having a really scandalous reputation, I like how he won’t push MC to do anything she’s uncomfortable with physically even months after they’re together. Master Misao, please paint me like one of your French—err, Japanese girls… *blush*

10. Wilfred Spencer, Be My Princess: Party

Being the first otome game I played, everyone from BMPP has a special place in my heart. That being said, I think Wilfred is the best hubs for me. He is very mature, thoughtful, quiet yet bold, gentlemanly yet has unexpected perverted moments and just overall a perfect prince. Actually, talking about BMPP makes me miss it and realize that I should buy the BMP paid version since I have Love365 app now to see how all the stories differ from the party version!

Whew, that was long. I’ll tag some people I would like to hear from but you guys don’t have to do it! :) Tagging: @kawa-akarin @zennyshoneybunch @jachan-art @fabricatedghost

#top 10 otome husbands

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toraberaa · 6 years

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“Out of this world!” those were the words that I uttered after witnessing the impeccable beauty of Mt. Ijen.

Mt. Ijen is not just an ordinary mountain. It is a volcano. And not just an ordinary volcano but an active one. It is a stratovolcano which sits 2,799 meters above sea level (9,183 ft). A hazardous volcano that emits toxic fumes and a home for highly acidic lake.

Literally, it was a “hell” and figuratively speaking as well. My hike was hellish. There were too many struggles I faced. I know that without these hardships, the story that I would tell will be definitely lame. Kidding! Nevertheless, I overcame it and I was rewarded with a beautiful sight. I saw a “heaven”. It was a bizarre feeling. I’ve never seen so sublime in my life. It’s a mixture of apocalypse and nirvana. A violent act of nature. Many of the locals said this phrase “Eye on Heaven, Foot in Hell”. It’s amazing how these two places coincide. How God beautifully designed it.

With that said, I entitled this as “Where Heaven and Hell meets”

Day Minus Zero

It was August 6, 2018 when I left Bali. A day after magnitude 7.0 earthquake hit it. I thought on myself that it was far from the epicenter thus, it was much safer to go on high areas. I was worried that there would be a tsunami at that time. Nah. Who was I kidding? I just surfed earlier on that morning and the real reason was, I scheduled to go on that day based on my plan. The D-day.

It was hot and sunny in Bali and for few hours and kilometers away, I was welcomed by drizzle at Banyuwangi. (I will edit this post later to provide info on how to go to Banyuwangi from Bali)

Loooong and winding road

Approximately 5 hours of bus ride, I arrived at Ketapang port at 8:30 PM. There were only few people around and it feels like it’s already late at night. It was difficult to hail a taxi or even an ojek (motorcycle taxi). No one shows available too in Grab. I went to convenience store and asked around. Some can’t understand English. Somehow I could tell that they understood what I’m trying to convey and they were willing to help. They referred me to a cab who knows a little bit of English and said repeatedly “House stay?” I said “Yes. Mango home stay” and hopped in. I hoped we were at the same page after I confirmed. I checked on my GPS and it was a relief that he knows where we were heading.

I arrived at Mango Tree House Home Stay and I paid him 40.000 IDR.

The Mango Tree House Home stay

“Philippines?” Mr. Arif, the owner of the house, greeted me. I acknowledged him with a nod. He said he was waiting for me. As we entered the house, he asked me again “Tea or coffee?” “Coffee will do.” I replied.

While he was heating the pot, he showed me my room. It doesn’t have an air condition but it have an electric fan. It’s okay since it was cold. The room have also a single pillow and a bed. That’s it! You get what you pay for. (By the way, the room was only 65.000 IDR) The room was just good enough for an overnight. After all, I just came here for Mt. Ijen.

House Special!

Mr. Arif served the coffee and we just had a conversation. We talked about my experience in Indonesia, difference of our countries (because Indonesia and Philippines were kinda the same) and other stuff. He had a good sense of humor and very entertaining. A moment later, another guests arrived. Mr. Arif introduced the new guests to me. They were a German couple who came from Probolinggo, just after the Mt. Bromo tour. He said I would be joining them for the Mt. Ijen tour tonight as well as the two Italians who arrived earlier than us. And guess what, they were also a couple. (Not jealous. lol!) Mr. Arif told us that he was still waiting for the French guy to arrive. I was hoping. Not that I wanted to be a fifth wheel but it must be a minimum of 6 persons to avail the package to Mt. Ijen.

As the night getting late, Mr. Arif suggested to take quick dinner near the home stay. The German couple decided to take a rest while I took a quick dinner at warungs (a small family owned business restaurant).

Solved! My dinner for 15.000 IDR only

The tour will start by 12 AM. It was 10 PM already. I went back to the home stay and took a quick nap.

I woke up exactly 11 PM. I packed up for the things I needed — headlights, gloves, jacket, camera and etc. Checked! I went to the living room and I didn’t saw yet the Italians and Germans at the living room. Maybe I was too early? I guessed I was really excited for this tour (which was true). I wished I stayed a little longer in bed.

I saw new faces in the living room. The French guy was already there, along with two lovely gals who were also French. He said that he was too tired and he would not go for Mt. Ijen tonight while the two gals were scheduled tomorrow.

We had a little chit-chat. Yes, only a little. They were talking in their native language. Since I can’t understand them, my mind wandered and I imagined The Little Prince. (LOL!) The younger lady (too bad, I couldn’t remember her name) was so considerate as she kept me entertained. She even asked the others to speak in English so I could also join their conversation.

Few minutes passed, they showed up. So it would be just a group of five — 1 Filipino, 2 Germans, and 2 Italians. Good thing that Mr. Arif was really kind. He didn’t want to disappoint us. Instead we avail the package tour from the agencies, he would be the one who will drive us to Mt. Ijen.

The Road to Mt. Ijen

From the start, it was already a challenge, the weather condition was not that good. It’s drizzling. We were starting to doubt if we could see the blue fire tonight. Blue fire is one of unnatural phenomenon that is happening in Banyuwangi. I believed this was also the reason why travelers would go here. Mr. Arif said that “We can’t tell. It’s nature.” He seems to have a good point. After all, nature is really unpredictable. But he also made our hopes high and said “But you will go above the clouds, so it will not be raining.”

“Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.” – Zig Ziglar

Around 12:30 AM, we leave at the home stay and drove towards Mt. Ijen. It would be a long drive for about an hour. I sat at the front seat while the others continue to rest at the back seats. I can’t catch some nap even I wanted to. Plus, I sat next to Mr. Arif. I should keep him a company and needed him to stay awake. With this, I just witnessed how difficult the roads to Mt. Ijen.

Excessive moisture in the window.

It had a zigzag road. For a few moments, the roads turned to a jungle with no lights on the road — trusting only the headlights that the car provides. The road also became muddy due to the weather condition. As we went higher, the fogs appeared. Mr. Arif wiped the windshield every time as the window had moist. I’m very glad that Mr. Arif was a skillful driver and knew the road.

The Base Camp

We reached the Base Camp at 1:36 AM. Mr. Arif handed us gas masks. After that, Mr. Arif called me and told me the best tip ever. “This is the only tip I can give to you. At the counter, say “Satu” (it means one) and just give 10.000″. We both knew that I looked like an Indonesian. The price difference from foreigner to locals was 90.000 IDR. Good guy Mr. Arif!

Mr. Arif guided the others and I headed to the ticket office alone. I needed to be alone to pull this trick. When I got there, I followed his advice. I confidently said “Satu!” as if I spoke a magical phrase “Open sesame!” in One Thousand and One Nights. However, the ticket officer said something I didn’t know. I repeated “Satu!” but the stare of the officer didn’t quite look good. (Uh-oh! Busted!) Our plan didn’t worked out. The ticket officer went outside and that moment I thought I would be penalized or could be worse. But he just pointed me where I should buy. He meant “Where the foreigners should buy”. Whew! I think this was not the first time it happened to them. Some also tried this scheme perhaps. But what embarrassed me more was when he spoke to me and I tried to push a little harder saying random Indonesian words that I learned. I believed in his mind you would read “Nice try!”. (LOL!)

I went back to our group and paid the foreign price. “What happened?” the group questioned. I reported and I said “I think he was asking for smaller bill. I saw the ticket it was only 5.000 IDR. Maybe it’s something with my accent too.” Mr. Arif said that someone might already overheard us and tipped the officer. “Too bad.” Mr. Arif responded with a chuckle and patted my back. “It’s okay!” I replied. Well, it’s actually fine. No regrets. Although the price difference were very significant, to be honest, spending 100.000 IDR was already cheap for the exchange for what we would discover later. (I’m telling you now that it was very worthy after I finished the hike.)

Jump Off

We started at 1:58 am. This was where the real struggle began. First, it was cold. Maybe because we were already in high altitude and rain also contributed. They said that the temperature sometimes drop from 15°C to 10°C. Second, it was dark. Pitch dark. It was nice that I bought a headlamp since it was not included in the trip. Third, we have no tour guide either. Even though if we avail the package, the tour guide was excluded. Mr. Arif told us that it wasn’t required and we don’t need to. “Mt. Ijen trail had only one trail — where you enter is where you exit. Just follow the crowd and you will not get lost.” He was right. There were many people who were also hiking. These people were not only tourist. Some were just local people — guides and miners. Yes, the sulfur miners. And so on and so on.

The gates were already open.

Our group, the Mango Tree House party (I made that up inside of my head), agreed that we could walk together instead doing by yourselves. While walking, I introduced myself and started a conversation. The name of German couple were Patrick and his girlfriend (Sorry! I forgot the name!) And the name of Italian couple were Andrea and her boyfriend. (Yes…I also forgot the name.) The Italian couple didn’t talk too much. It was Patrick’s girlfriend who talked to me a lot. That was why it was a shame to forget her name. (If you ever found my blog and read this. Let me know so I can apologize.).

Along the way, we saw some locals who had a push cart. This is what they called “Human Taxi”. Some says it costs around 400.000 IDR in exchange that they would take you to the top.

The Struggle is Real

Few minutes later, I felt that I’m having difficulty to walk. Besides that it was still raining and that makes the terrain slippery. But because I surfed before I went here, it’s now paying toll on me. I felt the pain in my upper body and I got blisters on my toes. Although minimal, I felt the irritating pain every time I took a step. I was thinking why I did that knowing that I would hike later. Nevertheless, the show must go on. And by speaking, while hiking, I still managed to document or video myself.

We saw a shed. I took some minutes to rest, while others went to toilet. Some also put layers on their body. This was supposed to be our last stop, and we should moved all the way from the top..well..uhmm let me repeat that. This was supposed to be “their” last stop. Because for me, it’s not. As we back on track again, I felt now the fatigue and every steps were now heavy. My heart was pounding like a jack hammer. I was leading before on our group (excited too much) and now I was lagging behind. Their stamina was fascinating. I knew I haven’t had a good rest just like them. That’s what I told to myself just to fool my mind.

“You are in the cottage”

We arrived at the “cafeteria”. I stopped again and took a rest for a while. It was my life saver! I was a fool that I forgot to brought water. If there’s no store available, I might desperately beg someone to give me some water. After I bought a bottled water, I gulped it immediately. As I checked my group, they were nowhere in my sight. I lost them and I think they didn’t notice me. That’s why I said that was our their last stop because I realized they didn’t took a break here.

I proceeded even without them and just a few moments later, the nature called me. I wanted pee. I don’t know if there would be another stop after the cafeteria. I don’t want even to go back there. I went astray and I did the “tabi-tabi po” style (common Filipino culture) and asked Mt. Ijen for forgiveness. Thank goodness it was pitch dark.

To the Summit

We needed to be on top quickly. It’s because blue fire only show itself in darkness. This was also the reason why we needed to hike at midnight. It would not be longer visible once the sun had risen.

I moved quickly as I needed to catch up with Mango Tree House party. I hoped that at some point I would see them. And just when I thought. They were there, waiting and searching for me. I heard from afar “It is him?” as I went closer to them. I saw their faces with a sign of relief. All of them were worried about me. They asked if I’m okay. I answered them that I’m fine and I apologized to them. I suggested that they could continue without me. I don’t want to become a burden or the reason why they will not see the blue fire. Still, Patrick’s girlfriend insisted “No, you can tell us if you want to have a break. We will wait for you. Okay?” Isn’t she sweet? (It was really a shame that I forgot her name. I wish one day, I will remember it.)

When we got back on track again, she noticed that I’m running out of breath and curiously asked me “Do you smoke?” I honestly replied “No, I’m just fat.” and she laughed.

I stopped recording and documentation for a while to save some energy.

MDPL means meter dari permukaan laut which literally translated as meters above sea level (MASL)

We were already walking for about 2 hours from the start. They said that 3 hours was the average time to reach the top. I felt we were already near. I saw already the caldera and the trail changed to flat terrain. At 3:26 AM, we finally made it to the top.

To the Dragon’s Nest

Actually, to went down close to the crater was prohibited. Only the workers (sulfur miners) were allowed. Not to mention that it was dangerous, but it was also slippery at that time. However, many of the visitors ignored this warning and continue their way to the crater. It was at your own risk. We talked to each other if we wanted to continue. It was early to go back and we decided to continue our way.

The trail going down was very narrow. At least one person could fit in. There were no hand rails. One wrong step and you would fall. Take note that the terrain here was rocky. To jump or skip would make stones or rocks fall.

We, the uninvited guests, were attacked by the vile stench of Mt. Ijen halfway down the steep trail. It was an acrid and sour smell. From here, we wore our gas mask. This made hard for me to breathe.

This was the time, Patrick and his girlfriend turned around and decided to go back. I was behind them and I could tell that they were having a difficulty going down. They said it was very dangerous and they don’t wanted to risk it. I didn’t persist. They wished me good luck and I replied them to take care. (Later, when we were on our way to house stay. Patrick was vomiting along the way and got sick. It was a good call for them to turned back.)

As for the Italian couple, who were just right behind me. I saw that they hired a guide who gave them a helping hand when descending. They were now in good hands and we parted away from each other as I had to do breaks. So from here, I did it on my own.

The Devil’s Gold and the Ijen Warriors

I saw sulfur miners as I moved closer to the crater. According to some, these sulfur miners carries a load for about 30-50 kg (60-110 lbs) for each basket. If you ever saw them along the way, please stop for a while and give way. I also noticed that some of them didn’t have proper equipment, they didn’t wear gloves and gas masks. Despite the dangers and the risks they could encounter, as I heard, most of them went twice on a single day to doubled their sulfur mine. And you may probably wouldn’t believe that the cost of their tough grind is only 800 IDR per kilo.

These sulfur miners were the real mutants. Where did they get their superpowers? This probably one of the toughest job in the world! With their amazing feat, they have earned respect and fascination on the tourist. Some of them tried to carry the loads or took some photographs with them and leave a small tip. Some gave things like cigarettes which they said to be their favorite, which was kinda ironic. While some of the sulfur miners created souvenirs for extra income. These were shaped sulfur which comes in different shapes and size with a cost of 10.000-50.000 IDR. I bought a teddy bear shaped sulfur for 20.000 IDR for keepsake and to helped them. Please don’t haggle anymore.

The yellow ore is the sulfur. This is already extracted from the volcano.

Behind me is what they called “Devil’s Gold” where the sulfur miners risked their lives for these.

The Heart of Mt. Ijen

I arrived at the crater at 4:15 AM. They were already a lot of people waiting for the blue fire. As I stood on the ground and took a rest, I saw people who were still going down. I was fascinated to saw the alternating lights, blinking and flickering. Looked back how far that I got just to arrived here.

What I saw afterwards was more fascinating than this. As I extended my sight upwards, I saw the illumination of the moon and the brilliant stars. I saw the Milky Way and a glimpse of the universe. What a lovely sight to see. I stared for a while and made me forget the exhaustion even just for a second.

I was worried if the blue fire would appear tonight. So I looked around for the other spot. And I finally saw the blue fire.I said “This is it?” A stranger replied “Yeah, it’s the blue fire”. Deep inside I know it’s the “blue fire”. A fire that was blue. But it’s not what I pictured based on what I Googled and it was just a small one. It looks like the one you could see when you light up a denatured alcohol or a flame in your stove. At that time, my headlamp was still on. But even after I turned it off, I appreciated it somehow.

The Eccentric Blue Fire

11 minutes passed and the blue fire finally appeared. The one that I was expecting. We were all in awe. All of us in crowd said “Wow!” in chorus. I moved closer to the blue fire. We all know that the blue flame was the hottest and the most intense part of a fire. They said that it could be at 600°C yet I can’t feel hot nearby the blue fire. I haven’t thought of this at that time. I was overjoyed I guess. But I admitted that I was reckless at that time.

I stopped recording and just watched the marvels of the world.

There are only two places in the world that the blue fire can be observe — Iceland and Indonesia.

While Indonesia is just close to Philippines, it has also a larger blue fire area compared to Iceland.

It looks like a lava, that’s why most of the people mistakenly called it as “blue lava”. The flames were so pure and so mystical. It was like a heart of Mt. Ijen, burning so brightly indicating its life force. Once the flames go out, it would lose its appeal. Eventually, that happened.

The Blue Acid Lake

After some time, they extinguished the fire and we were now enveloped in toxic fumes. This was the time our gas masks became really useful. These smokes were very nasty. Even with our gas masks on, I could still inhale the smoke that I needed to stop my breathing for a while. It was also irritating to the eyes. It singed that made our eyes teared.

As the show already finished, like what I said earlier, some people started to climb back. Even we were engulfed by smoke, I chose to stay for several reasons. They were still people going down. With the trail so steep and it’s still dark, I was worried about the traffic and there might be falling rocks or debris. I might also lose my balance and fall. If I stay, it would be a perfect time to recover and saved some strength. To add, it’s too early to went back. I wanted to see the blue acid lake. I have checked where the blue acid lake located. It was still dark at that time and I’m unable to appreciate its true beauty.

I looked for a spot and hid behind a big rock. At least, it would protect me from toxic smoke. In order to survive until sunrise, I needed to stay low, curl down, closed my eyes, and stopped my breath.

Around 5:43 AM, as dawn washed the darkness from the sky, the blue acid lake was revealed to be an enchanted beauty. I have seen similar turquoise blue water in Kawasan Falls at Cebu, Philippines and Kuang Si Falls at Luang Prabang, Laos but this was an exception. It was not the type of waters you want to dive into.

It was deceptively beautiful!

Mt. Ijen is also known for the World’s Most Highly Acidic Lake. (Hitting two birds in one stone) According to research, it has a pH lower than the battery acid or almost zero.

I wished I could stay longer to admire the acidic lake. However, I already ran out of luck and the toxic smoke was slowly engulfing us. I couldn’t take it anymore and my body was now reacting to it. Short-term exposure to highly concentrated levels of toxic smoke could be deadly. It could lead to breathing difficulties, may burn the lungs, corrode the skin and can even melt your teeth. Yikes! It’s time to go back.

After Dark

It was 6:37 AM when I reached Mt. Ijen’s peak again. This time, I was greeted of an awe-inspiring sight. The sun light slowly gleaming the caldera. The sky was deep blue and the cloud was the same height as where I stood as if my hands could reach it. The cold wind blew so strong you could hear its whistle. The field became lunar-liked as if I was transported or stepped on another planet. While revisiting the sight of blue acid lake and smoke came from the sulfur, it somehow reminded me of the movie “The Planet of the Apes”. So calm yet, destructive. I also like the blending of colors — bright yellow and turquoise blue.

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I never had this scene in my entire travel. This was what the philosophers called “the sublime”.

Totally out of this world!

Below was a short impromptu documentary that I made. Enjoy! 🙂

Sometimes, the most phenomenal things in life require a little danger, and climbing Mt. Ijen certainly is one of them.

Mt. Ijen – Where Heaven and Hell Meets "Out of this world!" those were the words that I uttered after witnessing the impeccable beauty of Mt.

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zenruption · 7 years

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My Experience With Fire Walking, And How It Rewired My Brain

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Walking on Fire Changed Me

I’ve always been a little bit of a thrill seeker. I’ve skydived, kayaked class V whitewater, skied double black diamond slopes and all of these activities have profoundly awakened me to life.

None of them, however, had as dramatic of an effect on me as walking on fire.

Unlike the other activities, I didn’t expect I would ever walk on fire. It sounded stupid, pointless and like a freak show.

However, that all changed when I met a shaman named Wytomi at a sweat lodge and he planted a seed in my mind.

A Newfound Fear

It started when I was exploring a path of self-care and gratitude to improve my life balance, when I met Wytomi. He put us all through various rituals, and it was mystical and interesting, but not cathartic.

That day I was talking to the shaman and he brought up the power of fire walking. Just his mention of the activity made my spine crawl. It scared me.

Merely talking about fire walking caused a panic inside of me that was so unfamiliar that I was baffled.

After that day I reflected on the shaman’s recommendation that I fire walk and how profoundly it upset me. Because simply talking about it created such deep anxiety, I decided I had to examine why. One conclusion I came to was where I put my faith. When I kayaked or skied, I put faith in my skills.

When I skydived, I put faith in the equipment, i.e. the parachute and the harness. But I had no idea where I would put faith in walking on burning coals. My faith said this will hurt and may injure me badly.

Ultimately I determined that if something scared me this badly, it was something I simply had to do. I didn’t want to become a prisoner to my fears.

Overcoming Fear

My new found courage still lacked faith, but I convinced myself that I had to do this. My decision may have been convenient, because there were no known opportunities available to do so. Whew. A few months passed, however, and then I learned that the author of Warrior Goddess Training, HeatherAsh Amara, was coming to town to host a clinic that culminated in a fire walk.

What a pickle. My courage in a vacuum was suddenly confronted with a very real opportunity to overcome my terror. I decided not to think, and I enrolled immediately. Then I had to wait for the actual event. I paid $200 and bragged to my friends and family that I was going to do it, so backing out became increasingly difficult.

Once the time arrived for the event, my inner panic had somewhat disappeared. It seemed like the simple decision to do it was mentally critical. After I made the decision, a calm took over, but I wondered if that calm would continue once it was time to actually toe the burning line.

When the seminar began, I expected a whole lot of safety clinics and perhaps some emergency medical training. Nope. None of that. What we learned seemed unrelated at first. It was surprising that we began by learning about how the brain works. We delved into neurocouseling and neuroplasticity.

Amara explained how we wired our brains by our experiences and those become beliefs. The earlier we believe something, the more entrenched the belief becomes and the more it influences our other beliefs.

This is because the brain works through association. Certain things like meditation are powerful tools in dissociating neural nets that are based on faulty beliefs, but wired over long periods of time.

The problem with meditation is that it is a long, demanding process, which makes people often unwilling to fully utilize it. But when we experience something that shatters a foundational belief, our whole belief structures crumble. This happened to me.

Fire Walking

My girlfriend and I both took the class. Then it was time to walk. There was tremendous build up to actually stepping into the pit. We played drums and burned sage.

Then we were invited to walk. I expected those who had done it before to go first. Nope. But a force inside of me pulled me towards the hot coals. A 17-year-old kid was next to me. As if we were pulled by an invisible hand, we stepped into the smoldering cinders.

At first I assumed we had to go fast. Nope. We went through it — some hurry the first time, but then circled around with enthusiasm.

I walked into the middle, stopped, reached down and pressed my hands against the burning ground. It was as if I had transcended heat.

A Change Inside

It was impossible to be rigid with my beliefs after I walked, because one of our first beliefs, established at such an early age it can predate language, is that fire burns. And when you walk on fire that belief evaporates.

When a core belief, like fire burns, goes up in smoke, we begin to question everything that we believe.

I suspect this can be troubling for many people, but it was invigorating for me. Suddenly any limiting belief I had was no longer imprisoning me. I felt like my mind broke open and suddenly things I wouldn’t consider before became viable.

When we were finished and went home we were high. Most of the high was adrenaline, similar to when I skydived. But there was this amazement about what was possible that dominated our conversations and our minds.

Now walking on normal grounds seems easier and I’m careful what beliefs I allow in. Stepping into a pit of burning coals will do that.

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#Fire walk #spirituality #transcendence

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