#it would be nice if i didnt read the tag from the very beginning a few times now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jiilys · 3 years

Note

would u help me out for a second. im in the mood to write for the first time, and i think your style is beautiful. sitting down n actually trying though, im stuck as fuck! i’m realizing that in your dialogue/scenes you’ve got a lot of Little Things. little tiny elements that are subtle & just enough. how are you deciding that lily is building a house of cards at the moment or sirius is sitting in a tree or whatever during a given scene? how do you come up with those ideas for dialogue that are so silly & real & sneakily tender? do you know where it’s going when you begin? any advice for just… starting something?

ps: i appreciate you. you make it look easy & that’s very very cool

This is a lovely question!! Sorry it took me so long to get to it, I didn’t want to get it wrong. Also I’ve included some examples to try and explain what I mean in practise, but it also comes off rather like plugging. tragically this is unavoidable. Anyway, all that being said I have no idea how to advise you about dialogue and coming up with it, I think just listening to people talk helps. Don’t forget contractions, and when in doubt always trust the reader to keep up, real people don’t say perfect or even grammatically correct sentences a lot of the time. We also cut each other off all the time, especially when we’re trying to be funny. Like, here’s an example from warm front:

“He’s not even two. He probably would have thought it was, like, having a lie down or something.”

Harry was laughing now, “A lie down?”

“Yeah, a spontaneous, truck-induced–“

“–Permanent–“ “

–Permanent, lie-down. I’m almost jealous now actually.”

Another thing, but people say um and like or can't speak or cut themselves off, especially when they’re nervous. James when Lily says she loves him for the first time: ‘“Wow,” He breathed, “I’m– wow.” He put both hands on her cheeks and kissed her crazy, abruptly, dumbly. Her head spun.’ He can’t even speak! Dumb boy.

I think natural dialogue sometimes just requires you to read it aloud, which is very embarrassing but ultimately quite useful in trying to figure out whether something sounds normal or not. Use casual words, and try not to go dictionary hunting: if you cant think of the word chances are your character can’t either

In terms of concepts I have no idea, but I do have a few tips. I write all my short one-shots in one document (its called ‘just bad’ lmao) so its easy to start something, write a few lines, and then if it doesnt work just start a new concept, but still have all the old stuff handy. if you feel like you’ve written yourself into a corner its probably because you took a wrong turn earlier, so its just a matter of going back up and figuring out where you turned onto the dead end, or where a line could be funnier and/or sadder and/or more meaningful. Sometimes the bare bones of a decent line is there but you have to work it a little.

In this harry/ginny thing where harry is apologising for all the attention and ginny brushes him off she says:

“It’s nothing,” her voice, all force, “Anyway, it’s more funny than annoying.”

The response went through a few drafts, all variations on the same thing:

(1) “You’re funnier.” [too short, doesn’t make sense, and not really that funny. unholy trinity]

(2) “You make it funny.” Harry said, looking at her for real, “It’s not– you make it like that.” [this could work! I have no idea why I cut this, I think I forgot abt it lmao]

(3) “You’re the funniest person I know, Harry said, sincerely, and Ginny felt her heartbeat all through her, “You make it funny.” [jumping from ‘its more funny than annoying’ to getting this sincere out of nowhere is a little much, even for harry who is famously whipped]

I ended up going with this:

“It’s nothing,” her voice, all force, “Anyway, it’s more funny than annoying.”

“You’re funny.” Harry said, looking at her for real, flustered, “I mean– you make it funny. That’s all you.”

It follows the flow of the conversation and I think the way he says it, ‘you’re funny’ like its obvious, and then being like oh fuck and over-explaining it stumbling a little “I mean– you make it funny. That’s all you.”. You know when you like someone and you say something that gives you away before you can stop yourself? I wanted it to sound like that. Just gotta keep in mind how people behave, we are so stupid a lot of the time, we give ourselves away.

The thing about short stuff i find is implying a lot of history without actually describing a lot of it. I normally do this by having memories come up as almost shards, one second of feeling. You know when you’re in a conversation with someone and they mention someone or a past event, and it rises to the top of your brain, but only for a second? i find sometimes when you’re reading stuff people will try and replay entire memories or events mid-conversation, which is not something you do when you think. You don’t need to replay it beat by beat, you were there! This sounds vague as hell so I’ll try and show you what I mean:

From good crimes: “Petunia is engaged.” Lily’s voice, raw and wrong, “To Vernon. Eliza Hunt told me at the supermarket.” Sudden flashes of Petunia, the only time he’d ever met her, sat in the back of Lily’s twenty-first, pinched and whispering. “Whose Eliza Hunt?” This seems as good a thing to say as any.

pretty on the nose (the phrase ‘sudden flashes’ is pretty so i'll allow it from past me). But see how you don’t need to know how Petunia didnt talk to anyone, how she left early, how she was the odd one out: you don’t need to read all that, you already know because she was sat in the back and because pinched is such a mean verb, spiteful and sharp, you can already imagine how the evening went without me saying so

From my proposal take, after Sirius finds out they’re engaged: Sirius’ grip on his shoulder tightened for one second, still grinning, and James knew what he meant. “I know.” He said, because only Sirius had been there for all of it, when they were fifteen, drunk on Firewhiskey for the first time and James had said I think I’ve fucked it, I think I’ve fucked it but I like her for real.

you don’t need a description of the whole night, what party they were at, who they were with, what they were talking about: the important bit is that Sirius was the first person he told, and that they’re both remembering that at the same moment because they’re soulmates lmao. You know when something big happens for a friend and you feel so full of pride & love that you feel like you’ll burst into confetti?? this needed to feel like that, and you only need a flash for it

I feel like I’ve sort of strayed off from what you asked me, which is really advice on how to start something. I normally start with a line, usually of dialogue, and then try and build from there because dialogue is my thing. You might have a different thing! Some people write from concepts or locations, or an image. i might start with one or a few lines of dialogue, write them down, and then try to build from there. For example for the proposal thing I started from james just saying “Marry me”, which I find more romantic than ‘will you marry me’, purely because it sounds like he simply couldn’t stop himself from saying it, like it rushed out. Another example, this thing started from just “don’t be mad at me” “okay” James agreed instantly, because he is such a sucker for her.

When I write I don’t normally know where I’m going! I normally set out to write something I think is vaguely funny and evokes An Emotion, and then I just play around with stuff until I get there. when I write certain stuff and I have scenes in mind, stuff I want to happen, but I find that if I try to plot it to tightly its not exciting to work on, because sometimes you write a good line by accident, that you hadn’t thought of when you sat down, and you surprise yourself. That is a really nice feeling! i want to maximise that feeling.

'What I mostly try to remember is that writing something down, anything down, is useful. Sometimes you write for a whole night and dont get anything useable, but its like clearing pipes. Sometimes you have to flush through shit to get to the good bits. All the rough stuff, the things you don’t like or didn’t work, you wrote to get you to the stuff that did work. All of the bad shit got you here! It wasn’t a waste, you were working to find the good thing

If I had any tips its just the usual stuff, read! It is annoying how much that helps. Also, and I know this may make you shudder, but reading poetry is useful just because in no other literary or media form is language so important. In comics you have pictures, in novels you have plot and character, in film you all that and cinematography, but in poetry you live and die by how good the words are. If you want recs here’s my poem roundup tag, that I do sometimes, or if you want something just now read this by Anne Carson, which uses words like ‘smashing’, ‘boatwash’, and ‘green’ in the best way possible. Also it has these lines: “Recently having learned to recognize the type of tree called sycamore, / I see them in any forest— / the ones that look harrowed, / in shreds, but / go also / straight up into life,”

I mean, think of a sharper image than that?? It’s not possible. Just try remember to stay true to your characters and that in real life, the little stuff is the big stuff. Little things the people around you do normally show they care more than big speeches, and if you want to show love that’s how to make it feel lived in. You want to build a world! the little stuff is usually the world. Take some from your own or dream the ones you wish you had.

This truly was a very kind message and I’m so grateful you like my stuff, I hope any of this was even half-useful, although now reading it back it is borderline nonsensical. I’m going to bed now, good luck with the writing, and don’t forget to send it to me!!

caro xoxo

#writing bitching #said it already but loved this message it was so thoughtful. seemed pretty articulate to me i think ur writing is gunna be just fine!!!#rooting for you & anyone trying to write something rn. words suck and are difficult! they are also better than drugs & sex. regretable #kindnesses

72 notes · View notes

slutsofren · 3 years

Text

Danger Days Chapter 10: Demolition Lovers

summary: deviating from tlou timeline for a moment. joel, ellie, and you find yourselves a nice reprieve from all the bullshit that has plagued you all in recent days. ellie seems to come in and out of her shell stemming from her traumatic experience and joel and you come to an understanding of each other, one much more solid than before.

word count: 4,309

content warnings: none, just heavy flirting, a couple curses

notes: sorry ive been missing, i appreciate all the love from yall and i promise i didnt forget. Danger Days is pretty much 100% finished on my end when it comes to the full tlou timeline including part 2 but.... i decided i was going to take tlou and Danger Days and develop them with new scenery and characters and make this more of my own story with bonus interactions we wish we could have had yknow? so, without further ado, enjoy <3ps: this chapter is dedicated to the ever so lovely sabs. thank you for screaming with me about all the degenerate things we wish we could do with joel and letting me bounce ideas off you. you deserve the world, i love you.

read on ao3 here / masterlist

It had been nearing a full month since the unfortunate events at the lakeside lodge, Joel was thankfully healing up very well and looked really good. All things considered. Even now he looked much better than before sitting atop Whiskey as you and Ellie walked beside him.

You chance a glance to him, the sun only getting in your eye momentarily but you could see just how much he’s changed since you met him that day at the power plant. You noticed how his beard was beginning to become just that much more grey and the lines around his eyes were more prominent than usual, just like the ones on his forehead and around his brown eyes.

Things between you were not great, but they weren’t bad either. He seemed to take to this new dynamic in your relationship well. You? Well, you weren’t going to be taking any of it for granted. He seemed to have finally seen you for who you are, no longer the stranger that tagged along but you.

It was nice.

“Hey,” Joel started, pulling you from your thoughts, “I never got to thank either o’ you for saving my life, so, thank you.”

Both you and Ellie were a bit taken back at his gratitude. “Yeah, no problem, just don’t do it again,” Ellie replied.

“What exactly happened anyway? I don’t…,” he gets lost trying to recall the memories.

You look ahead, scanning the freeway the three of you had been walking on for quite some time now before you told him. “The rebar went through you surprisingly clean. Didn't shred you as much as I thought,” you started. “I used pretty much all the disinfectant I had to get it clean, the puncture wouldn’t have killed you but the infection that was already settling in.” You implied the rest, letting your voice trail.

“We found a little place to hole up for a while, trying to stuff gauze into the wounds and used a helluva lot of duct tape to keep you from falling apart,” you chuckled.

“America’s finest invention,” Joel snorted.

“Ellie went looking for more medical supplies while I looked over you,” you continued. “It was really touch and go for the first couple weeks.”

“I jumped into a helicopter!”

Joel looked at you and you nodded a hint of a smile in your voice, “She jumped into a helicopter, we kicked some people’s ass, it was a whole thing.” You waved your hand around emphasizing how bizarre it all was.

“What else happened when I was out,” he asked.

A sigh escaped you. “Taught Ellie how to shoot with the handguns, we both trained with the bow a bit, ate a ton of squirrels and rabbits.”

Ellie jumped in, “And she even taught me some hand-to-hand!”

“Only so you would stop biting people, Ellie! You don’t know where people have been only for you to take a chunk out with your mouth,” you laugh.

Joel does too, as does Ellie, “Yeah, I don’t think biting is a safe option if you want to keep your teeth, kid.”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up you old bats.”

Soon the silence encompassed you all again, only the sounds of Whiskey trotting beside you and the occasional shift of Joel distrubed you all. You knew how uncomfortable the saddle was but if he was on foot, the three of you would be moving a lot slower.

You’d been on this path for Salt Lake City for quite some time now, and a fast mental check of supplies told you that you’d run out of food far too soon before that. A shudder wracked through you when those twirling thoughts reminded you of what people can do when they’re hungry. Memories of David and his group flashed through your mind.

How many had they killed?

How many had they eaten?

The path you were following along the freeway to Salt Lake City was slowly becoming more and more daunting, only stopping every so often to scavenge for food. Sure enough, it was slowly becoming scarce yet again the further you traveled into mountainous scenery that was flanked with what seemed to be some wildlands.

“Why don’t we stop over there for the night,” Ellie asked. She pointed off the freeway, to what looked to be a natural reserve, trees aplenty. If there were luscious greenery, that meant food, that meant water.

It didn’t take much to convince Joel or you to approve of the stop, agreeing that it was a nice spot off the freeway, a nice place to scavenge, and a nice place to rest for a day or two in some shade. Since it was also within a mile from the freeway, it was nice to know none of you were about to be surrounded by trouble. Being this far out into the countryside, it was nearly tranquil knowing that infected and hunters weren’t nearby. You could all relax for a moment. If only a moment.

Joel dropped from Whiskey with a mild groan, his hand on his stomach. “Damn, it still hurts.”

“Of course it does, you pierced your organs and muscles,” you chastise sarcastically. “That’s why your ass is still on my horse and poor Ellie and I are walkin’.”

“Yeah, old man,” Ellie jokes.

“Great, now she’s taking after you, brat,” he throws at you.

You give him a playful smile as your trio heads a little further past the treeline, bringing dear Whiskey with you. With all the grass nearby, he’ll be eating good for a while. Maybe you'll try to make room in your pack for some extra feed for him. Stars know he deserves it.

The woods were kind of dense the further you looked on, the moisture retained within the leafy canopy. It would be perfect to scavenge for water here, you thought. “Why don’t you two get a fire goin’, I think I see some deer tracks a little over there,'' you pointed in the distance.

“Alright,” Joel agrees, “Ellie, help me find some shit to burn.”

“Aw, sweet!”

You laugh a little at the duo and walk off, a rifle in hand. As you find your ways to the footprints laid in the mud, you get to reminiscing a tiny bit. Grateful for the privacy.

Although your little troupe had been galavanting through three different mountainous states for months now, it was sufficient to say that things were coming together very naturally. Joel and you would still argue, always bitching back and forth on some of the most mundane and idiotic things. He still couldn’t seem to wrap his mind around the fact you just really preferred his brother over him, it’s not your fault that Tommy was at least likable.

Even with the banter, you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Because at the end of the day, as the sun settled and the moon replaced it high in the sky, you were still wondering what it would feel like to feel those rough fingers alongside the softest and most intimate parts of you. How disgusting.

You shook your head, chiding yourself for still being horny all these weeks later.

Sounds off to your left pull you from those inappropriate thoughts. The shuffling grew slightly louder and you dropped to a crouch. Adjusting the rifle in your hand you also held your breath, watching as a young buck came into view. It was beautiful, young, and most of all meaty. The buck was big enough to eat happily for a couple days without wasting anything, maybe even saving the hide would trade well or be a nice gift for Jackson when you’d return. Leather was always needed.

In the beginning of the outbreak, it hurt to put down such magnificent creatures but your survival meant everything. The least you could do was honor the beasts afterwards for giving you a full belly.

For a long time you wondered in awe how some animals reacted to you while on hunting duty, how little they reacted. Almost as if since the breakout, these animals knew that humans were more of a threat to themselves than to them. A few times you recalled getting rather friendly with some only to find their bodies laid in some trap. It tugged and pulled at your heart but, what could you do?

When you returned, the young buck in tow behind you, Joel and Ellie were in deep conversation that stopped abruptly once you came into view. The fire was crackling rather well in front of them as they sat on a thrown over log and the scene warmed your heart despite that hint of curiosity tingling your lips. It died down once you thought about where Ellie’s mind was.

She had been taking her first - well her first murder - pretty harshly. You couldn’t blame her, especially not after finding out the whole town was full of cannibals and David intended on eating her. She hadn’t been taking it well, the brutality and violence of it all.

Once Joel even asked for advice on how to talk her through things, making you feel for the man. It wasn’t easy traveling with a teenager, puberty and all that teen angst. It was even worse with a teenager coupled with one traumatic event after another, paired on top with a brutal life-or-death situation. It was a lot for a person to handle, how everything changed as fast as the wind blows, never mind a teenager born into this forsaken reality.

As you made a noisy approach, you saw how they flashed the other a sharp look which rekindled the curiosity inside you as they rose to their feet looking to help you with the deer.

“Hey,” Ellie got your attention, “Nice catch.”

“Thanks,” you say, handing it off to Joel. If there was anything you had learned from the man, it was that regardless of his injuries he would still do everything he could. As if he wasn’t knocking on death’s door.

It was something you kind of loved about him.

Okay, yes, fine. Fine, fine, fine.

You finally fucking admitted that maybe, possibly, kind of, sort of, you were pining after the mean old bastard. It kind of hurt every time you thought about it but this wasn’t the time nor place to do a damned thing about it. So you soldiered on. As you always do.

Joel made himself comfortable near the fire and began skinning the buck. You idled around, taking inventory of various supplies and listened as Joel gifted Ellie the antlers, suggesting the two of them could possibly forge them into nice arrowheads. You decided to leave once again, opting to look for water rather than staying to watch Joel work.

With the snow melting, you figured it was February. Who’s to say, honestly. Regardless, it meant spring and warmth which also meant - water. It wouldn’t be very sanitary water but you weren’t going to complain, especially with your dwindling supply in your various canteens. You trekked on with only a simple acknowledging smile and nod to Joel and left. You took Ellie’s large pack filled with only the mixed canteens and your knives to be safe. This forest area didn’t seem to have many, if any, apex predators. Possibly bears but it was far too early for them to be waking from hibernation. Better safe than sorry anyways.

Following the trail of growing greenery, you eventually stumbled upon the sounds of a rushing river and you picked up your pace. It was wild and rapid, likely unsafe for a full bath but you could make do with a quick dip to wash off. It would do you all some good.

In the beginning, you were nearly made sick when your showers were rationed out to once a week but nowadays, it was a sacrifice that had to be made. Like bras. At least with those, you were kind of grateful to live without the metal constantly jabbing you in the ribs.

You dropped to your knees by some rocks and gave a slow look around, trying to take notice if there was any movement or if it was safe. It would be a lot harder to hear trouble over the sounds of the river so it was best to keep your eyes open. Finding no such danger, you went to work.

Unloading all of your bottles, you tried to fill them up as fast as you could. Each of you carried two or three canteens for this journey, water was much harder to come by than safe food.

It didn’t take long to fill each of them up and you were overjoyed to feel the heavy weight in the backpack. The sound of the water sloshing in them nearly made you weep. For the first time in a while, you felt the tinglings of hope.

Looking around you once again and noticing nothing unusual, you began to remove your clothes and tucked them by the backpack, lodging them securely by the rocks away from the river and dipped in, not venturing out more than knee height.

The water was cold as shit, sending shivers up your spine and pebbling your skin but it was a welcomed sensation all around. Kneeling in the water, you washed yourself as best you could. Although your body was now relatively clean, your hair was an entirely different fight.

Your hair was so much longer than you ever kept it, it’s not like hairdressers really existed anymore. Most of the time people cut their own in Jackson or shaved their heads entirely. It wasn’t something you were particularly keen on doing so you decided to try and rinse as much of the built up grime as you could, doing anything possible to make the knots loose.

It was a good idea but you didn’t make it very far. Frustration at all the knots just made you quit almost as soon as you started. The harsh pulls rose tears to your eyes, doubled by your frustration. Resigned, you gave up and threw it into something that could resemble a bun and made your way back to the rocks, cursing the whole way back.

Now clean, wet, and all kinds of mad at your appearance, you put your clothes back on and aimed back for the camp. Hopefully one or the other of your companions will help you with your hair.

As you reached the little nest, Ellie ran out to meet you. “Holy shit, you were gone so long!”

“Language,” you chided.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” she laughed then paused, taking in the sight of you. “Why are you all wet?”

“Found a river,” you said while shrugging off the backpack and settling it down. “And I took a bath, felt nice.”

Ellie seemed to perk up at that, “A bath does sound nice. Joel needs one especially.”

A moment after she said that, a jacket was thrown into her face. “I heard that,” Joel said while walking up to the two of you.

You snorted down a laugh. “How's dinner comin’?”

“Quartered up the meat enough and if we’re smart about it, it can last us until we hit Salt Lake City,” he said. You took him in and noticed he changed into one of his lighter green flannels, one that you thought looked good on him. One that you, maybe, fantasized a couple times on those lonely nights removing from his broad shoulders and kissing, licking, nipping, a path downward to his-

“Good, yeah, that’s good,” you pulled yourself out from your thoughts just as you felt your face grow warmer with the flood of inappropriate thoughts.

Thankfully Ellie and Joel wrapped themselves back into the conversation they were in before, one you caught snippets of as you began to try and make camp. Something about target practice for Ellie in the morning.

The rest of the afternoon lulled into a safe and comfortable day, one none of you had in quite some time. One where nobody was injured or fighting or scavenging. Just feeling grateful for the food and security of the forest. It seemed nice to let the day pass by like this but you decided to do at least one productive thing.

“Joel?”

He didn’t look up from his work, the little piece of wood was already beginning to take shape within his hands. You wonder what else he could do with those steady and controlled fingers.

“Joel,” you ask again, this time a little louder.

Startled, he stopped his ministrations. “Yeah?”

“Do you mind giving me a hand?”

“What’d’ya need?” He lowered the small blade and the wood piece, turning to face you completely.

You pulled out one of your own knives and saw how he tensed. Did he think you were going to hurt him? “Relax, Joel. I would only stab you if you asked nicely,” you slyly flirted watching how he relaxed his body but furrowed his brows.. “Anyways, I was hoping you could help me with cutting my hair?”

He looked over to Ellie who was encompassed by some comic book she had slowly been collecting with Joel’s help who only gave the two of you a thumbs up, not even bothering to look away from the pages.

Joel stood, and a grunt escaped him as he stood, likely feeling sore from being slouched over carving into that piece of wood. “Damn, you’re old,” you teased.

He only gave you a stern look which made you smile. You loved old things and maybe he was your favorite.

The walk to the river was silent in the beginning, only the sounds of your shuffled walk could be heard mingling with the sounds of swaying leaves and the occasional trill of a bird or two.

Until Joel cleared his throat.

He said your name a tad firmly, “Been meaning to apologize to you.”

“Oh?”

“For the way I spoke at ya, back then.”

Back then? Back when he threatened to leave you? Back when he hurt you sharper than any blade? Back when you were willing to do anything to save his life, to save Ellie, even if that meant giving up your own in the process?

You slowed, taking a glance at Joel. He was stoic as usual, the only signs of his unease was in his voice, otherwise he looked to be just the same man you'd come to know.

“Things were tense,” you shrug, picking up your pace. “Don't blame you.”

“It was uncalled for and rude.”

“Yes,” you paused, “but we wanted to get Ellie somewhere safe.”

He grumbled to himself something incoherent to your ears but you trekked on. You didn’t get much further before you felt his large fingers grasp your arm. You didn’t say anything, only looked into his brown eyes. He seemed to stand taller as he said, “I’m sorry.”

A sad smile coated your lips, “I know.”

“Can I ask you somethin’ personal,” he asked after a beat of silence. He let your arm go and you hummed an acknowledgement and gestured to him to go on. The two of you walking towards the river.

“Can your brother be trusted?”

That stops you dead in your tracks. Joel continues walking, not idling besides you or waiting for a response. Your brows furrow as you reply, “If you were to have asked me that five years ago, I would have said ‘yes’ without hesitation but--.” A heavy sigh escapes you but you admitted it anyway. “He's the main reason why I left the Fireflies.”

The heaviness looms between you.

“My siblings and I weren't,” you stumble, “we used to be close. Look out for each other, y’know?”

Joel hummed, guessing as much as he and Tommy used to be close.

“I'm the reason why my sister didn't make it. I left her to die. He always hung it over my head.”

Joel didn’t prompt you, he just kept walking waiting for you to continue. For a moment you just focused on the leaves crunching beneath your feet before you said, “I let go of her hand. She fell behind and the infected swarmed to her. He never forgave me for it.”

That stopped him dead in his tracks as he faced you and put his hand on your shoulder, “You were just a kid.”

You shrugged off his touch and kept walking, “Maybe so. I eventually forgave myself but he couldn’t look past it. Whenever there was a mission the Fireflies wanted done, he’d argue with Marlene to keep me back but she liked that I was already numb to killing. So the compromise was that I couldn’t do anything alone without somebody who was willing to go to the same length as I was and could hold their weight.”

“That how you met Tommy?”

“Yeah, he was like my babysitter. He was the one to really pull me back into my head. I owe him more than my life.”

The two of you carried on in silence until he spoke up, “You’re loyal to them. Tommy and Maria.”

It wasn’t so much as a question but an insight to his thinking, an assessment of you, but you answered him anyway. “I owe Tommy my life but I owe them for helping me see myself more clearly, giving me a reason to want to survive, to live, and enjoy my life.”

That was the pinnacle of everything. It was easy to fall into these slips of dullness, living day by day but nothing worthwhile. It was easy to just survive in this world where it was kill or be killed if not by the infected then by hunters or by people just doing the same- surviving at whatever the cost.

Life before the cordyceps virus was plagued by who was in love with whom, worrying about work or school, stressing over money or family drama.

“I see,” he mumbles, taking you out of your thoughts. Your gaze met his and before you could say anything, he gestures up. It took you a moment to gather what he was saying but you heard the sound of the river rushing, “Looks like we’re here.”

The two of you kept silent as you walked forward. His silence was putting you on edge and for a moment you wished you knew what he was thinking. If he was deeming you untrustworthy or something of a liability.

But still, you said nothing as you began to remove your clothes.

Stripped down to a tank and shorts, you waded into the water. It was deliciously cold, just as you remembered. Joel followed behind you after whispering an expletive at the freezing temperatures. He was stripped down to his boxers, leaving his broad chest bare. You felt yourself flush but waited for Joel to meet you at the shallow part of the river you found a nook made of rocks.

You sat down, the water quickly rushed up to your waist, just teasing under your breast. It really was fucking cold in the water but with the grunts and hisses coming from Joel behind you, your body was quickly warming up. The sounds being quietly filed away in your mind to be recalled at… a certain moment when you’d be alone with a sad hand between your legs.

He settled behind you and you felt his strong thighs around you. He tugged gently on your hair, as you tilted your head back, closing your eyes. The river flowed endlessly around you both, washing away thoughts and drowning out worries.

“Are you sure,” he asked. His voice, although gruff, was tinted with caution. Or maybe it was still coated with that flash of uncertainty you caught in his eye earlier as you revealed more to him than anybody in Jackson before.

You nodded, “It’ll be safer this way and easier to manage.”

“I’ll try to salvage as much as I can,” he grumbled.

He quietly got to work, undoing the mess of braids you had failed trying to subdue. He was gentle as much as he could but you could almost feel his frustration. “Just cut it, Joel. It’ll be fine.”

“I-,” he stumbled.

You lowered a hand onto one of his thighs. “I trust you, big boy.”

Did you immediately feel your face heat? Yes.

Did you miss the way his thigh tensed under your palm? Nope.

Were you gonna regret the slip? Who the fuck knows.

“Call me ‘big boy’ one more time,” he jokingly threatened.

“What’re you gonna do? Spank me?”

Ah, fuck.

Sometimes, just sometimes, you wish you’d shut your whore mouth or else you’d really find yourself in big trouble with the man.

You didn’t know what kind of reaction you’d get from Joel but what you weren’t expecting was the low sound of him trying to swallow a huff that turned into full blown laughter. The light air between the two of you allowed you to laugh with him as he tugged at your tangles again, “C’mon let’s cut this nest off ya.”

He took your knife and you felt him tug and pull at your hair. His rough fingers threaded themselves into your locks as he pulled it as taught as he could.

“Don’t move,” he says slowly behind you. The rumble of it sends shivers down your spine until he whispers as a gentle tug on your hair pulls your head back lightly, “Good girl.”

In a swift motion with your sharpened blade, he cut through a chunk of it. For a moment you let your eyes open as your heart pounded in your chest so loudly you swore it echoed off the nearby trees. You didn’t turn to face him, in fact you did nothing but watched as the strands disappeared in the water.

#pedro pascal #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel (the last of us)#joel the last of us #joel tlou #joel tlou x reader #danger days fic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller fic #the last of us reader insert #the last of us x reader #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #asher writes

65 notes · View notes

izuru-writings · 3 years

Note

hello, I hope you’re doing well :]

if I may, can I request a scenario where the reader challenges izuru to a game (something like chess or just a basic card game ) and they actually manage to beat izuru without even knowing that izuru is basically good at everything? this could be a one shot or headcannons, whichever you prefer to do! gender neutral pronouns please.

~mod celestia

Absolutely!

Warnings: None that I can think of.

Tags: Oneshot, non-despair AU.

G/N reader beating Izuru at a game of chess without knowing who he is.

Hope's Peak, the school of your dreams. Who would have thought that chess, something that you saw as just a hobby, would make you get scouted? Yet, your talent at competitions was unquestionable, winning all the tournaments you had participated in. Of course, you were proud of this, but being recognized as the Ultimate Chess Master was still a surprise, a very pleasant one, but a surprise nonetheless.

As one of the newer students, teachers and classmates alike wanted to test your talent, to the point where you had no choice but to obligue. To no one's surprise, game after game, you won them all, some with more ease than others, but still complete victories.

After every friendly challenge, it seemed that no one could beat you. This was your ultimate, after all. Until one day, a group of students practically dragged a boy with a completely uninterested look on his face towards you. He looked more intimidating than most, having long, dark hair, piercing red eyes, and wearing a clean, black suit. You didn't know this boy, but you could assume why he was there: he was most likely going to play chess with you, so even though he did look scary, you did your best to look confident. There was no way you would loose after all, right?

"They wouldn't stop pestering me until I came to see you"

He looked slightly annoyed as he spoke, yet his voice was barely above a whisper, it was nice and calm despite his words.

"They probably want us to play, wanna accept the challenge?"

You answered, forcing a smile despite how eery his presence felt.

"It would be pointless, the outcome would be predictable"

You weren't sure if that was him saying he would win or if he was giving up, his tone of voice didn't give it away. You decided it was the first option, given how calm and bored he looked at the situation.

"If you're so sure about that, then why not take a chance?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he just took a seat in front of you in complete silence. That's how your most intense chess game ever began.

Time was passing by, the number of people, both staff and students, watching the game slowly started to increase. You didnt know why there was so much interest in this. Granted, he was giving you quite a challenge, it almost looked like he could predict your moves before you even thought of them, but it was still just a game of chess.

Minutes started turning to hours. He was extremely good at the game, so much that it was beginning to feel scary. At this point, you weren't sure if you would win, not with how good he was at your field of expertise. What else could you do? It was like he could read your mind like an open book. You were mentally giving up when you thought of your next move.

"Checkmate"

You said the word almost with relief. It had worked, you had won. Smiling with fulfillment, you raised your eyes from the board to look at him. He now had a semi-readable expression, it only lasted a few seconds, but you swore he looked surprised for a moment.

He got up from his seat. You thought he was going to leave when he spoke.

"This wasn't entirely boring"

Was all that he said. Too tired to take it as anything other than a compliment, your smile widened a little.

"Hey, well played, uhm... What's your name?"

You asked, feeling a bit sleepy now that the tension from the game was fading away.

"I'm called Izuru Kamukura, we'll do this again tomorrow, there's something I need to test"

With that, he left, leaving you mentally exhausted at the thought of going through that again... What did he need to test in a game of chess anyway?

Hello! I hope you enjoyed this! I actually had to rewrite it midway through, but I'm proud of how it turned out.

#danganronpa x reader #izuru x reader #sdr2 x reader

89 notes · View notes

doodledrawsthings · 4 years

Text

Oh The Humanity! AU Masterpost

Hi! Making a masterpost for this AHiT AU so y’all have one place to just find all the important bits that I and other folks in the fandom have done for this AU! Everything will be under the read more

AU Premise: Snatcher steals a time piece from Hat Kid and Bow Kid to mess with them. He tries to use it during one of the Death Wish fights, but turns out the particular time piece he stole was faulty/ something was up with it/ he broke it in a weird way that really messed it up. Because of this, when he broke the piece, instead of rewinding time back a few minutes, it sent his form back about 300 years, returning him to human form, but with all his present memories. Now, he’s stuck as a human as and has to wait for the Time Traveling Alien Kids to fix the time piece and return him to normal, while also being forced to confront his past.

You can find most of this in the tag #oth!au. I will also be updating this as new stuff gets added or if I find that I’ve missed something. Let me know if there’s something I missed that you’d like me to add, cuz boy howdy i didnt realize how much is stuffed into this AU, and I dont remember what I’ve already said and what I’m saving for future stuff:

Significant Events in the Main Timeline story (these are kind of in order and kind of not. There’s more to be added, just not yet):

this au has a bunch of different endings thanks to the lovely ahit fandom’s contributions.

This all happens sometime after This comic. So, by the time OTH!AU happens, Moon and Snatcher are at least on“awkward acquaintance” terms with eachother and snatcher is trying to be nicer to him. He’s still got his moments of being rude and snappy tho, but thats just because he’s snatcher.

The first actual post i made In regards to this AU+ @positive-polygons comic interpretation of the beginning of the AU. He breaks a weird time piece he stole and he reverse ages back to being alive again. : Link Link1 Link2 Link3

Snatcher asks moonjumper to watch over Subcon while he’s stuck like this Link

Bow takes him to Nyakuza Metro to get new clothes. He trashes the Prince get-up as soon as possible. Link

Arctic Cruise Arc Link1 Link2 Link3 Link4

Some comics, they learn his name is luka at some point

Moonjumper is taking care of Subcon. They do things way differently than snatcher but they’re trying their best.

Cooking Cat comes by to cook and help out. She’s very motherly to everyone. She’s taken Mu on as an apprentice, so she’s usually there with her whenever she drops by.

The birds are wrapping up a collab movie. The main cast are invited to the premier party, as Hat and Bow acted in the film. Snatcher gets to wear a nice suit and he has some interaction with the conductor and grooves. Link Link

at multiple points, MJ checks in with snatcher for status reports on how subcon is doing. This is usually where their bonding moments happen and they become less and less awkward with each interaction.

At some point around mid to late story, they find out that Subcon is starting to freeze over again. Snatcher was the only one who could melt the ice so this now gives them a time limit.

The Mirror incident Link Link second fic by @greentrickster

as snatcher gets along with the kids more, they remake his mailman hat so he can use badges and equip him with his own umbrella. Link Link

at some point snatcher realizes he doesn’t wanna go back to being a ghost.

Main-timeline ending is a Boss battle with Vanessa. Link

General Headcanons:

Almost everything you need to know about moonjumper and the prince and vanessa’s relationship Link

Snatcher and Vanessa have known eachother since they were kids. Their marriage was arranged, but they were good friends

OTH! Snatcher is aroace

about snatcher’s feelings on defeating vanessa (*human!/final boss vanessa ending) Link1 Link2

This fic has a really good interpretation of the horizon that I’ve pretty much adopted, myself. Link

regarding snatcher’s expression of empathy and emotion both as a human and as a ghost Link1

Snatcher gradually takes on a fatherly role towards the girls. He is constantly trying to deny it as he comes to realize it but eventually accepts it.

he’s actually pretty graceful with the umbrella Link Link

Hat kid’s a good leader, but she can often be reckless and stubborn. Significantly more chaotic of the two space gremlins. She’s a lot like snatcher in a lot of ways, and because of that they are constantly butting heads but they get along better as Snatcher both gets used to being human and grows fonder of the two girls. She’s a bit closer to Snatcher, having been the most adamant about being his friend (initially out of spite but yknow) and they have a lot in common.

People frequently mistake snatcher for being Hat Kid and Bow Kid’s visiting father. They usually comment on how much he looks like he could be HK’s biological dad. Both are in denial of this throughout the main timeline of this au. It’s a running gag. Link

snatcher is sometimes completely oblivious when he enters Dad Mode sometimes

Bow, on the other hand is generally a bit more shy and careful than hat kid is. She tends to take the passenger seat, taking on a more supportive role. She’s also way more polite. In this sense, she has more in common with moonjumper, and gets along with them quite well and she frequently goes to visit him the most often, on her own.

Her and snatcher’s relationship kind of parallels snatcher’s relationship with MJ. Snatcher, having once been a big jerk to these kids, is now trying to teach bow to take more of a leading role and be more confident.

as this au takes place not long after the Clearing Incident comic, Snatcher and MJ’s relationship is a bit awkward in the beginning. Over the course of the AU their relationship would build up to be more brotherly.

the subconites like moonjumper but they miss their boss. MJ spoils them tho, which they appreciate and occasionally take advantage of Link Link

moonjumper learns to stand up for himself, snatcher learns to be more vulnerable

moonjumper is the badgeseller. Only hat, bow, and snatcher know this.

snatcher very much enjoys feeling warm, its one of few saving graces he clings too in the stressful early part of the story.

snatcher doesnt like looking at himself in this AU. He’s very self-conscious about his “pathetic human body.” He doesn’t like being pitied and he doesnt like being seen as weak.

snatcher frequently has nightmares about his past.

after recieving the mailman hat, people start refering to him as The Mailman. Link

his voice frequently cracks a lot, especially in the beginning, since he keeps trying to use his Loud Ghost Voice, which can do a number on human vocal chords. Link

the kids bully him constantly Link Link Link

his arc is that he learns that it’s ok to be human and it’s ok to be vulnerable and to open up to people, and he learns to accept his past and who he used to be

the girls accidentally call him dad sometimes, which freaks him out at first, but he gets used to it eventually. Link

he adopts them, for sure, it just happens post- whatever ending.

beard. Link

Spin-off AUs, Alt Endings, and Fanfics, Oh My!:

That ending where habijob kills moonjumper Moonjumper goes to fight Vanessa, alone. In one version they win, and in another, they lose, and snatcher has to return to ghost form to retrieve them from the horizon. by @habijob Link Link Link

From The Horizon fic by @greentrickster Link

@lindendragon‘s hypothetical endings where snatcher is captured by vanessa Link Link

@fedoraspooky‘s spinoff au where the timepiece takes him back even further and turns him into a kid Link Link

@positive-polygons‘s Vanessa Spinoff Link

@doodleimprovement‘s Royal ending Link

@erekiosuncreativeideas‘s fanfic, Being Human, her version of the au’s story in chronological order starting from when he breaks the timepiece Link

@lemonadesoda’s Fanfic series, And I Don’t Think You Hate This As Much As You Wish You Did, fills in and expands upon the ideas in my comics for the AU Link

#a hat in time #ahit #the snatcher #the prince #bow kid #hat kid #moonjumper #ahit headcanons #oth!au #Oh the Humanity Au #oth!au masterpost #good lord i didnt realize how much this au had #but i think this is good for now #i'll add more as i go #i know for sure that theres more fics to add but i'll do that later i just wanna put this out #added some stuff

1K notes · View notes

thegreatestofheck · 3 years

Text

Little Village {Finale?}＊Outer Banks＊

find the other seven parts here!

word count - a lot but not too many warnings - Swearing, fighting, that whole deal synopsis - An unwanted person shows their face and everything changes. tagging - @apoguecalledjj @ijustreallylovethem @deathcompass @lolitstiana @jxpiter-sxturn @parkerpetertingle @diverrdown , @ponyboys-sunsets, @outerbanksbro, @alexandracheers, @x-lulu a/n - I think there might only be one more chapter after this depending on how this goes down, so that’s exciting. Also, thank you to @raesficrecs for giving me the motivation to finish this chapter. I’m sorry to everyone else that it has taken this long. Also, I wanted to let everyone know that it has been a little bit over a year since the start of this story which makes June now 19 and all of the Pogues 18 or older. Just so ya know. Also, after this chapter, if you want to do requests of what you’d like to see from June and the Pogues, let me know! Because I think this is the end of the plot that I had planned. Okay, back to the story.

“Okay, the two of you have got to knock it off.”

This was the fifth week in a row that the dinner table had been silent save for the brief crying of Eleanor. June and JJ sat on opposite ends of the table as far away from each other as possible. John B sat somewhere in the middle, eating his soup with a scowl on his face. But he had enough.

“I don’t know what the hell is going on between the two of you and, frankly, I don’t care. But you are really bumming me out.”

JJ scoffed, his eyes fixed on his bowl of soup as he obnoxiously sipped from his spoon. John B looked to June, who rolled her eyes and picked up her bowl of soup and made for the nursery.

“Dude, what did you do?” John B asked his friend.

JJ just shrugged.

June leaned over the crib, smiling as she waved a stuffed giraffe over Eleanor. The Little Pogue grinned, quiet laughs coming from her as she stretched up her hands for the plushie.

“My sweet girl,” June mused, reaching toward her daughter and stroking her cheek with a finger. “What would I do without you?”

Life carried on.

JJ stayed away. He was barely ever at the Chateau when June was. She knew that he was over sometimes when she wasn’t around, to talk to John B or to see Eleanor. Part of June wanted to ban him from her property entirely, but that felt cruel. She knew how much Eleanor meant to him, and taking that joy away from him for her own mistakes didn’t feel right.

She spent a lot of her time at Kie’s house with Sarah and Eleanor. They tried hanging out at the Cameron abode, but June felt tense every time she saw Rafe. He always kept his distance, but June struggled to trust him, even if she was working on forgiving him.

The day that Sarah finally told John B that Rafe had come back, June cried in the bathroom for an hour. John B was as stubborn as she was. And he hated Rafe more than most everyone else except maybe Pope and Sarah. June was barely surviving without JJ. She couldn’t handle losing Sarah as well. It felt as though her little village was falling apart and there was nothing she could do to hold it together.

John was angry. He was hurt. He was scared. But he loved Sarah more than he hated Rafe. He held her hand as she cried. He forgave her for not telling him sooner. He kissed her forehead and told her that he wasn’t going anywhere.

June knew he wasn’t going to the Cameron house as long as Rafe lived under the roof. He had a hard enough time having lived there himself for a while.

Knowing that she wasn’t about to lose another one of her friends, June could finally breathe again.

After John B told her everything that had happened with Sarah, he saw the distant look in June’s eyes and reached across the table to grab her hand.

“What’s wrong?” he asked her.

“It’s nothing.” She smiled at him. “I’m just glad you and Sarah are working through it.”

John B knew his sister. He could read her like a book. Something was very much the matter. But she was as stubborn as a mule and she wouldn’t budge once she had decided on something. And June had decided that nothing was wrong.

~~~

The Heywards invited the Routledge’s over every week for a family dinner. Sitting at a table that didnt wobble with food that wasn’t heated up in the microwave was always nice. But June liked the company more than anything else.

Two parents, her brother, one of her best friends, and her baby. It felt like family.

They laughed, talked about their days, made jokes, teased Pope.

This week, John B left early. Kie was helping him study for a test he had that week.

Pope took June out to the back where they had set up a rundown basketball hoop. June had never been coordinated athletically. She failed miserably at anything sports related. But Pope liked to help teach her.

They stood out in the cold while Mrs and Mr Heyward coddled Eleanor.

June huffed in irritation as she tossed the ball, missing the basket entirely but hitting the backboard.

“What’s on your mind?” Pope asked, making a perfect basket.

“How much I suck at this,” June said.

Pope would have laughed if he hadn’t been so worried about her.

“What’s really going on?” He asked and tucked his ball under his arm so she couldn’t throw it again.

She looked at him with pinched eyebrows.

“Nothing.”

“I don’t appreciate being lied to, June.”

“I’m not lying-“

“You’re very clearly lying to me.”

June made a face that looked like she was sucking on a lemon. She finally sighed.

“JJ brought a girl into the house,” she said finally.

“Isn’t that against the rules?” Pope passed her the ball.

June bounced it against the ground and nodded her head.

“So you revoked his Eleanor pro ledges?”

“More like I revoked his me privledges.”

“Ah.”

June threw the ball and missed again. A glare settled on her brow as she went to retrieve the ball.

“Is it the rule breaking you’re upset about or the fact that there was another girl in the house?”

“What’s the difference?”

“One is you being protective of Eleanor and one is being protective of you.”

June paused, looking at Pope with her scowl. But he didn’t back down.

“I’m not following.”

“You don’t want girls in the house because that’s strangers you don’t know hanging around your baby. Understandable. You also don’t want girls around because you know the only reason JJ does it is to shove your face in the fact that it’s not you.”

June threw the ball again, but this was anger. She hurled it at the backboard as hard as she could and watched as it hit the ground.

“There it is again.” Her words were quiet because she was afraid if she let herself talk any louder, she would be screaming.

“There what is?”

She whirled around to face Pope, her eyes cold as steel.

“Everyone thinking they know me. You, Kie, Sarah, Rafe. You think you have me figured out.”

Pope didn’t say anything, but his face spoke volumes.

“You think if I was in love with JJ I’d be the first to know it?” Pope raised his eyebrows almost in shock but June didn’t see it as she turned in an angry circle. “I wouldn’t need everyone going around telling me how I feel!”

With her back to him, June was able to let out a heavy sigh, calming her nerves.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have yelled.”

“No worries,” Pope said. “Maybe it’s not that we know better than you, but maybe we’re seeing things from a perspective you’re not.”

June turned around slowly, hands on her hips.

“You really think I’m in love with JJ?”

“I think you need him.” Pope picked the ball of the ground. “And I know he needs you.”

He tossed the ball June’s way before heading back toward the house. June caught the ball with a heavy breath. She stared at it in her hands for a few moments. Looking up at the basket, she absently threw the ball and turned to follow Pope.

She didn’t see the ball go through the basket.

~~~

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” June said, a little louder than she meant to.

The little old lady she was trying to serve coffee too looked up at her.

“What’s wrong, dear?” The woman asked, not mentioning the fact that her normally very sweet waitress just swore.

June couldn’t tear her eyes away from the car that had just parked in the parking lot. She knew that car. Its license plate number was seared into her head, the sound of the plastic die clanking together already echoing through June’s head.

“I’m going to send another waitress to serve you, Phyllis, okay?” June said. Even as she spoke, June didn’t take her eyes off of the car, or the person sitting in the front seat.

“Oh, um-”

“Kay, thanks.”

June spun around and almost ran for the counter. She gently grabbed hold of another waitress’ arm and pointed toward Phyllis, who stared after her with a concerned look in her eyes.

“June, you okay?” The waitress, Cedar, asked.

“Just peachy.”

June glanced behind her as the bell of the diner rang. She swallowed a yelp as she ducked and scurried for the kitchen, where she hoped her manager would be.

David saw her practically hiding behind a pile of dirty pots and raised an eyebrow.

“What are you doing back here, Routledge?”

“David!” June stood up straighter and shot a glance out to the house, where a man was beginning to pace around, looking for someone. “I need to take the rest of the day off.”

“What?”

“I’m feeling-” June faked a cough. “Ill.”

“June, you worked while eight months pregnant. I don’t think you’d want me to send you home over a cough. What’s going on?”

June scowled, but glanced back out toward the man. He didn’t look a day older than when she had last seen him, a little more than a year ago now. She ground her teeth together before looking back at David.

“My ex,” she said, nodding toward the man. “Fred.”

“Eleanor’s father?” David sounded purely shocked as he snapped his head around to catch a look at Fred.

“He’s not her father,” June snapped, before realizing the tone she was taking with the man she was currently begging to let her off work. “Dave, I just-“

“You don’t have to explain anything, Routledge. We’re pretty light today. Take the day off.”

June let out a steadying breath and nodded her head.

“Thank you.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

June grabbed her things from her cubby before making for the back door as quickly as possible. Hurrying across the parking lot, she forced herself to keep her gaze on her car. She just had to reach her car.

“June!”

She startled, gasping as she tightened her hands around her keys, but she didn’t turn around.

He said her name just like he always had; irritated, as if she was always rubbing him the wrong way.

June was 17 when she met Fred. He was a Kook and he promised to help her and John B out with DCS until she turned 18 and could take care of the both of them. Fred was 26. She thought she owed him something when she turned 18. Next thing she knew, she was pregnant and he was throwing her out to the street.

June didn’t cry over him. She had never been attached to him. But she was afraid of him. Part of wondered if he would come back to try and claim Eleanor as his own. He was on and off Kildare for business trips and it appeared he had just returned.

“June, I know you can hear me.” June kept walking, refusing to even acknowledge that he was there. “Damn it, June,”

She heard him walk closer to her. She thought about booking it, but she didn’t want to show him fear. She didn’t want him to have that satisfaction. So, she let him get closer. She let him run after her.

Fred grabbed her by the wrist and she spun around to face him. She hadn’t seen him in over a year, yet he already looked much older.

“What do you want?” she asked, curling her hand into a fist in her pocket.

“I want to talk to you.”

“Do you now?”

“June-“

“Dont ‘June’ me. I’m not a child, Fred. Not anymore.”

The muscles in Fred’s jaw tightened as he stared down at her.

“I want to see my kid.”

June let out a bitter laugh.

“You...you’re not serious right now.” From the unchanging look in his eyes, June could tell he was. “You don’t even know your own child’s sex, why in the world would I let you anywhere near us?”

“I have every right, as the father-“

“I’m not having this conversation in the diner parking lot,” June said and put up a hand to cut him off. “Your not seeing my child, ever. Goodbye.”

She turned toward her car.

“June, don’t walk away from me!”

She did.

As soon as she was safe in the car and the doors locked, June pulled out her phone. She barely looked at it as she pulled out of the parking lot, but as she glanced down, she realized that the only person she could think to call was JJ. He’d want to hear that Fred had come back. He’d want to meet her at the Chateau to keep her and Eleanor safe.

The line was ringing before June could stop herself

But JJ wasn’t talking to her. JJ wanted nothing to do with her.

After two rings, June hung up.

She considered calling John B, but she didn’t want her brother to get arrested for a real murder, which is what would happen if she told him that Fred had showed up at her workplace. She found herself calling Kie, her throat thick as she tried to calm the shaking of her hands by squeezing the wheel until her knuckles were white.

��Hey, June, whats up?”

“Fred showed up at work today.”

“You’re shitting me!”

“Nope. I’m going to pick El up from the Heywards, would you mind meeting me back home? I don’t really want to be alone right now.”

“Of course. I’ll be there.”

“Thank you.”

June knew that Kie would have a thousand more questions that she didn’t want to answer, so she hung up and threw her phone into the passenger seat.

All the way to the Heywards, her heart pounded against her ribcage. She had nightmares about Fred coming to reclaim Eleanor, of endless custody battles, of all the dirt on her family that Fred could dig up.

Just the thought brought terrified tears to June’s eyes. Breathing became difficult, as if someone was squeezing her chest. If she lost Eleanor, June wasn’t sure what she would do. She would just die, she supposed. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks as she tried to suck in breaths that just wouldn’t go down. With her arms shaking, she pulled over to the side of the road until she found a way to calm down.

June shut her eyes, placing both of her hands against her chest. She breathed heavy, shaking breaths in through her nose as she tried to slow her sobbing. She had friends in high places now. The Cameron’s would take care of her. The Carreras would too. The Heywards would do anything to help her. Everything would be okay. She just needed Eleanor in her arms. Then everything would be okay.

Pulling back onto the road, June wiped away her tears and set her sights on the Heyward household.

Mrs. Heyward asked a few questions when June pulled up five hours early to pick up Eleanor. June answered them shortly as she plucked Eleanor off the ground and held her tight to her chest. The girl was almost six months old. Half a year. She was still so small.

June tried not to cry again right there in front of Mrs. Heyward. These would be tears of relief as Eleanor cooed and babbled, knotting June’s hair inbetween her fingers.

“My dear, are you okay?” Mrs. Heyward asked.

June finally looked at her, eyes classy, and she nodded.

“It’s just been a long day. Do you mind if I take her home early?”

“Not at all.”

The two packed up Eleanor’s things and Mrs. Heyward helped June pack of all into her car.

“You know, girl, if there’s anything you need, you just have to ask.”

June buckled Eleanor into her car seat before looking back at her friend.

“I know. Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

June could finally breathe as she drove back to the Chateau, knowing that Eleanor was in the back seat just behind her. Every few seconds, she would glance in the mirror, just to make sure she was still there. Eleanor babbled to herself, looking out the window as she shook a small giraffe.

Finally back home, June took no time to pull Eleanor from her car seat, abandoning everything else. She just wanted to get inside, to feel safe. Once Kie was there, maybe she would go out to retrieve it all, but all she needed now was Eleanor.

The small girl didn’t even seem to notice her mother’s frantic mood as she clicked her tongue and pulled one June’s necklace.

June was half way to the porch when the front door opened and out stepped Fred.

She let out another gasp and turned her body, shielding Eleanor from him.

“It’s a girl,” Fred said, almost teary eyed.

“Stay back,” June said.

Fred took a step toward them and June took a step back. Eleanor stopped making sound, finally seeming to realize that something was wrong.

“She’s beautiful.”

He took another step.

“I said stay back!”

Eleanor let out a quiet cry at her mother’s harsh tone. June wanted to tell her that it’d be alright, but she refused to tear her steel glare away from Fred. She was afraid he would leap if she looked away for even a second.

“I just want to talk, June, and to see our daughter.” Fred took a few more steps, but fear held June where she was.

“My daughter.”

Fred let out a heavy sigh and lowered his head.

“Why-”

“You left me,” June said, her voice low and suddenly full of tears. “I needed you and you left me.”

“You didn’t love me.”

“I was a kid!” Eleanor let out a quiet cry and June held her tighter. “You left. You left me alone.”

“And I’m back now. That should count for something.”

“You can’t reap what you didn’t sow, Fred.”

Fred’s soft, almost mournful look hardened into something fouler. He took one, two steps toward her.

“June!”

She whipped her head around just in time to see JJ running toward her. A smile started to spread across her face, but it fell quickly. She was already in one fight, she couldn’t handle another.

JJ slowed to a stop in front of her, resting one of his hands on the back of Eleanor’s head before brushing the back of his fingers against June’s cheek as if to check and make sure they were both alright.

“What are you doing here?” June asked him a low voice.

“You called.”

There was almost a ‘duh’ sound to his tone, as if she should expect nothing less from him.

“And you came?”

“I’ll always come when you call.”

“I understand,” Fred said with a bitter scoff, drawing both JJ and June’s attention back to him.

JJ stepped in front of June on instinct, standing between her and Fred.

“What?” June snapped, her scowl returning to her face.

“This is why you won’t let me back into your life? Your screwing your brother’s best friend?”

JJ tensed, his hands clenching, his jaw tightened, the muscles on his arms bulging. But he stayed where he was. June kept her eyes glued on Fred. She could smell a fight brewing. JJ would defend her, as he always did.

“Get the hell out of here, man,” JJ said. His words were strong, unafraid. June remembered when he told her how terrified of his dad he was, how he couldn’t even look him in the eye most of the time. He had told her once that it made him feel like a coward, like a scared little boy.

She hadn’t ever seen him that way. He had always been the first one to defend his friends, to defend his family. Even if it meant getting his knuckles bloody. He didn’t care about the consequences.

June saw no trace of a scared little boy now, his ocean blue eyes a calm tempest waiting to explode.

Fred didn’t even look at JJ, his own piercing gaze fixed on June and only June.

“You know, even when we were together, I always thought you were low. You were too easy. I knew you’d shag anyone that gave you the time of day, but he’s low, even for you.” Fred’s words were venom, sinking deep into her skin, paralyzing her.

“Don’t talk about him like that,” June said, but her voice shook, betraying the fear that made her stiff.

Fred laughed. He was laughing at her. Laughing because she was afraid.

“I can still help you. Get you and the baby out of this dirty house, away from your dirty friends. She can still have a good life,” Fred told her, his tone becoming soft again.

June glanced at the house behind Fred, with it’s popped out nails and it’s torn mattresses and it’s dusty bookshelves. She looked at Fred’s new shoes, his shiny rolex, his perfectly styled hair. June glanced down at Eleanor, the light of her life, her sun against the darkened sky.

“You know she’s better off with me,” Fred said. Tears sprang into June’s eyes. “You don’t want her ending up like you.”

Like a dog let off it’s leash, JJ lunged forward suddenly, letting out a cry of rage. June’s eyes widened as she cradled Eleanor’s head to her chest. She watched JJ cross the yards in a few strides, landing a solid punch against Fred’s jaw before Fred even saw him coming.

It wasn’t until JJ hit him again that June felt Fred’s spell on her fade. She turned from the fight, holding Eleanor close, and she ran.

June ran back toward the car as fast as her legs could take her. Eleanor cried as June’s feet thundered against the ground, the sounds of skin hitting skin trailing off behind her.

Once June was safe by the car, she threw open the door and set Eleanor inside the car seat. For just a second, she let herself glance back toward the fight. Fred had JJ up against the wall of the Chateau, an arm across his chest. JJ’s lip was already bleeding. They were both breathing heavily.

June buckled Eleanor into the car seat, closed the door, and slid into the front seat.

She sat there, with her hands on the wheel, breathing heavily. She should drive away, get Eleanor somewhere safe. But she looked out of her window and Fred was pounding JJ’s face in.

JJ, who had held her hand while she gave birth.

JJ, who hummed Eleanor to sleep when June was too exhausted to stand.

JJ, who remembered her birthday even when June didn’t.

JJ, who defended her honor by any means necessary.

JJ, who came to her whenever she called, no matter how mad at her he was.

June threw open the door, slamming it shut, and locked the car. She tucked the keys into her pocket and ran back toward JJ as fast as her legs could take her.

JJ never once left her when she needed him. She was not about to let him down now.

June hurled herself into Fred with as much force as she could muster, knocking him off his feet and away from JJ. She and Fred hit the ground at the same time JJ did. June rolled through the leaves, the wind knocked out of her. JJ staggered to his feet and grabbed hold of Fred, but he had recovered quickly. He gave JJ one good punch, and he toppled to the ground.

June forced herself onto her feet and stepped between Fred and JJ just as Fred swung a harsh right hook. June yelped as his fist collided with her cheek. Her head spun as she hit the ground a second time. Vision blurring, all she could see was the world tilting as Fred bent down to pick something out of the leaves.

The keys.

“No!” June reached out with her hand and grabbed hold of Fred’s ankle just as he started for the car.

Fred tripped and fell over, his forehead hitting the hard ground. He tugged on his leg in an attempt to free himself, but June dug her fingernails into his skin like claws. Even through his $900 pants, he could feel the sting of her grip. She clawed her way to a better grip on his calf. He kicked at her, hitting her shoulder, but she didn’t let go.

Another car pulled up into the Chateau front yard.

“June!” Kie jumped out of the front seat almost before the car was fully stopped.

“The keys!” June cried out. “Eleanor....the car!”

It didn’t take Kie long to figure out what was going on as June clambered over Fred. She tore the keys from his hand, ignoring his shouts of protest. She forced her aching body onto her feet and ran to meet her friend.

“What’s going on?” Kie asked, glancing back at Fred as he tried to push himself out of the dirt.

“Take Eleanor to Heyward’s,” June said, pressing the keys into her hand. “I’ll meet you there.”

“But, June-”

“Go!”

June turned toward the house and Kie ran toward the car without any more protesting as JJ managed to get to his feet and drag Fred back into the dirt.

“She’s not your daughter,” Fred said through the blood in his teeth. “She’s mine.”

“You weren’t there when June was throwing up every morning,” JJ seethed, grabbing the man’s shirt and pulling him upward. “I was.”

JJ landed a punch against his face.

“You weren’t there the day that Eleanor was born. I was.”

Another punch.

“You weren’t there on the nights that June couldn’t sleep. I was.”

Fred tried to scurry away, but JJ held him tight.

“You haven’t changed a single diaper, read her a single book, taught her a single thing. I have.”

JJ raised his fist to hit Fred again, but before he could, June stepped out through the front door.

Both he and Fred turned to look at her as she cocked her shiny new shotgun.

JJ’s lips parted in surprise as June pointed the barrel at Fred, whose eyes went wide.

“Where did you-”

“I’ve had men break into my house to try and kill my friends,” June said before JJ could finish his question. “This might have been useful then. It’s proving useful now.”

JJ let go of Fred’s bloody shirt and Fred slid his hands into the air as June slowly stepped forward, her target fixed on him.

“June-”

“You get off my property and you never come back, you hear?” June said as she took one step down the porch stairs. “I don’t want to see your face, I don’t want to hear your name.”

She stepped down the stairs until she was on solid ground. JJ backed away slowly, hands up like Fred’s were. She must have had a look in her eye because JJ looked almost...afraid of her.

“If I hear of you coming anywhere near my daughter, I will not hesitate to pull this trigger, do you hear me?” Her voice was low, but it no longer shook. Her hands were steady, her gaze fixed. She knew her aim would be true and so did Fred.

“Eleanor deserves a father,” Fred said.

June’s eyes blazed red hot and she took a few dangerous steps toward him, thundering like the clouds above and he scurried away from her.

“Don’t say her name,” June growled. A final warning. “Eleanor has me. And she has a family. A better family than you could ever provide. Now, get. The. Hell. Off. Of. My. Land.”

Fred glanced over at JJ, who must not have given him what he wanted because Fred pushed himself to his feet and scrambled off toward wherever it was he hid his car.

As soon as he was out of sight, June lay the gun on the ground and pulled out her phone. Kie was on speed dial.

“Kie?”

“June! Are you okay? Is JJ-”

“We’re fine. We’re okay. Eleanor?”

JJ walked up beside June, his face a mess of blood and dirt, but there was concern in his eyes. June looked up at him, her heart pounding in her chest.

“She’s asleep already.” June let out a breath of relief and so, it seemed, did JJ. “I’m half way to Heyward’s. Do you want me to turn around?”

“No, no. I’m going to clean JJ up and then we’ll meet you there.”

“Okay.” Kie was silent a moment. “Are you sure you’re okay, Jue?”

June let out another heavy breath and nodded her head.

“I am. Shoot me a text when you get there.”

“Will do. I love you.”

“Love you too, Babes.”

June hung up the phone and shoved it back into her pocket. She felt the far too familiar sting of tears and pressed her hands against her nose to block them out. She had spent too much of today crying already. She didn’t even know what she should be crying about.

JJ put a hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him. June closed her eyes, almost unable to see the mess that was his face.

“Come here,” he said, his voice soft and quiet as he pulled her in for a hug.

JJ’s hugs were usually the bone-crushing kind. He had a tendency to wrap his arms around someone’s waist and squeeze them until there was no more breath left in their lungs. June was used to that kind of hug. But this was gentle. He put his arms around her neck, folding her into him. June kept her eyes closed, kept her hands pressed to her nose, but she rested her forehead against his chest. And they just stood there. For a few moments, they just stood.

Until June got to comfortable with the smell of his cologne and the way he smelled like the salt waves and the sandy beaches. Until she remembered that the last time they spoke, they were screaming at each other.

She pulled herself out of his embrace and felt a sudden chill run up her spine, as if all the warmth had just been drained from her body.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” she said, not looking at JJ as she turned to walk into the Chateau.

She knelt in front of him as he sat on the edge of his bed, dabbing a wet towel against his knuckles. The air was so thick from all the things they never talked about, they could have cut it with a knife. Both of them knew that the last time they were in this room was the last time that they had spoken, that JJ had been trying to tell June how he felt and she had run away from him. They both knew it, they were both thinking it, but they never said anything.

“I think you’re all patched up,” June said finally, the first words spoken since they at down. She stood and smiled at him as best as she could.

“Your turn,” he said.

“What?”

“You’ve got a pretty nice shiner there, Jue.”

“I think I can take care of a shiner, J,” she told him, an easy, teasing tone on her voice.

But JJ didn’t seem to be joking.

“Let me take care of you for once.”

Her playful smile fell.

“You’ve always taken care of me,” she said.

JJ lifted his hand toward hers. He hesitated for a moment, recoiling his fingers, before stretching them out again and taking her hand. June stiffened, but JJ finally relaxed. He stood and silently maneuvered her to the side of the bed where he had just been sitting.

She sat down, breath caught in her throat, heart beating out of control. JJ knelt onto the ground, just as she had been doing and picked up the cream that she had just been lathering his skin with. To get closer to her, he pushed her knees apart just a little, and settled between her legs. June’s throat swelled even tighter, painfully aware of how close to her he was sitting. He pressed gentle, calloused fingers to her cheek, where the skin had split and a bruise was starting to form.

June winced and he froze, his beautiful blue eyes meeting hers.

“Did I hurt you?” He asked, words quiet.

“Never.”

JJ’s eyes dropped from her eyes to her lips before coming back up. June couldn’t help but do the same. He let his hand lower from her face to rest against her thigh. He was drawn to her, like a moth to a flame and he didn’t care how badly he’d be burned for it.

June couldn’t help it either. She let her legs spread just enough so he could lean in closer, but she was almost unaware that she was doing it.

“JJ,” she breathed.

It was supposed to be a warning, her telling him one last time that this was a mistake. But it came out like begging. She heard in her own voice how desperate she was for his lips against hers, for his heart in her hands.

She closed the distance between them, pressing her lips against his. She had always imagined his lips would feel scratchy and dry from all the time spent in the salt and the sun. But they were soft. Chapped, but soft.

She could feel him hesitate and she wondered if she should pull away, but then he leaned into her even further, even harder, knocking her almost off balance and back into the bad. June lifted her hands to her face to keep herself steady, to keep his lips against hers. JJ’s hands were on her hips, pulling her in closer.

He pounded against her senses like the waves against the shore. He was everywhere. She could taste sea on his tongue. She could smell the sand in his hair. She could hear the raggedness of his breath. She could feel his skin beneath her nails, his hands clawing at her hips. And even with her eyes closed, she could see the man he was kneeling in front of her.

But it was over all too soon.

JJ pulled away, turning his face to the side. June’s heart dropped into her stomach. She struggled for breath as she watched him. She closed her parted lips, bringing her hand up to her face for just a moment.

“I-I’m sorry.” June stood and stepped away from him, his hands falling away from her. “I shouldn’t have....I-I’m sorry.”

She ran a hand through her hair, her cheeks flushed from embarrassment and shame. She’d really done it this time. She’d completely ruined her relationship with one of the people she loved the most.

June wasn’t sure what to do with herself. She turned toward the door, then back to JJ, wondering if she should grab the cream that was left abandoned beside him, then decided against it and turned back toward the door.

“It’s not you,” he said, still not looking at her.

June froze. She glanced at him, but his gaze was fixed on the ground as he sat back.

“I mean, it is you,” he said again and finally looked at her.

It was like taking a thousand daggers to the heart. She would have rathered Fred punch her in the face a hundred more times then see the look in his eyes as he said those words.

“JJ, I-”

“Because I know that’s not what you want.” JJ pushed himself to his feet, wiping his palms against his jeans. He kept himself where he was, a good few feet away from her. “Maybe it’s something I want, but I know you don’t and I don’t want you to feel like you have to anything you don’t want to.”

June breathed in deeply through her nose, finally beginning to understand.

“Maybe...maybe it is what I want.”

JJ gave his head a slight shake.

“Don’t say something you don’t mean,” he said.

“I-” She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. “There were so many times I wanted to tell you, but I just couldn’t.”

“Tell me what, June?”

From the way he spoke, he already knew what she was going to say.

“I’m just so scared of losing you.”

“Tell me what?”

“It feels like everyone that I...everyone that I love is taken from me. El was almost taken from me today and I-”

She stopped, letting her eyes find JJ’s. He stood there, his body on edge. As if waiting for her to say one thing, just one thing. She just had to have to courage to say it.

“I love you, JJ,” she said. “Of course I love you.”

He took no time crossing the room and closing the distance between them. He put her face in his hands and dipped his head down to capture her lips in his once again. She put her hand over his, rolling forward onto her toes so she could reach him better.

His kisses trailed from her lips across her cheek and to her jaw, lifting her chin ever so gently to nip at the skin of her neck.

“I love you,” he whispered against her skin, sealing it with a kiss.

June couldn’t help but smile, especially as he returned his lips to hers.

He knotted his hands in her hair, needing to be consumed by every piece of her. June pulled him closer by his shirt until there was nothing but atoms between them.

And nothing would separate them again.

~~~

By the time they got the Heyward’s, everyone else had arrived. Kie filled them in on what she knew and, little as it was, it was enough to keep everyone satisfied. They didn’t ask June questions as she walked through the door, an especially cheery JJ on her heels. John B stood from his chair and wrapped her in a tight hug, holding her for a few seconds. She in turn wrapped her arms around his waist, more than happy to hold her baby brother for a few moments.

“I swear I’ll kill him,” John B whispered to June as JJ sat around with the others to begin recounting the story.

“Fred or JJ?” June teased.

“Depends.”

John B kept his arm around her shoulders even as she pulled away from the hug to find her daughter. Eleanor was sleeping peacefully in Sarah’s arms, who rocked back and forth and hummed a quiet song.

“Do you want her?” Sarah asked quietly.

“You hold her,” June said, settling in beside Sarah. “I can admire from afar.”

She looked over at JJ, who was half way through his dramatic rendition of him beating Fred’s ass. Pope laughed, Kie scolded, Mrs. Heyward tried not to smile, Mr. Heyward scowled. Sarah kept cooing at baby Eleanor, who didn’t appear disturbed by the commotion going on around her. June tucked her finger into Eleanor’s blanket, feeling her tiny hands grab hold. John B, who sat on the side of the couch, leaned down and pressed a kiss against June’s head.

“Love you, Junebird,” he whispered.

“Love you too, Bird,” she replied.

They say it takes a village to raise a baby. Whoever they are, they might be right. But June didn’t have a large village, an overly wealthy village, or a village of perfect, spotless people. She had just a little village. It was a little broken and a little messed up, but it was her village.

And she wouldn’t trade it for the world.

63 notes · View notes

juliettalfacharlie · 3 years

Text

a modified ship tag from a now-defunct account, to organize some of the smaller ideas

How long will they last? - middle age til death do 'em part.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - kya found lin attractive for decades, but the two werent ever in a place to go any further than her appreciative glances. lin didnt see kya as a possible partner until her late forties. once kya began staying with lin, she realized how much she would enjoy if it were permanent. lin got used to kya's presence, and it was like, wow, i actually can live with someone. this is possible. she tells kya, and the latter is enthusiastic. after a handful of dates & a couple months, it just feels right.

How was their first kiss? - graduated from light cheek-pecks before their date, to a soft, warm kiss once they got home. just nice and easy. exciting, definitely, but above else it was comforting.

Who proposed? - though discussed prior, lin would.

Who is the best man/groomsmen? - for lin, saikhan. kya's would be bumi or an oc friend.

Who is the maid of honour/bridesmaids?- kya would definitely have jinora, ikki, and an oc friend. lin would have an oc friend as well?

Who did the most planning? - lin did about 60%, kya the rest. it's kya's second, so she knows the ropes, but lin is a researching NERD and went wild. she's detail-oriented so she didnt want someone else, even a close friend, doing all of it for them.

Who stressed the most? - lin is worried, because she wants to make sure kya is alright with everything, but neither are too concerned about the ceremony itself.

How fancy was the ceremony? - high end venue, great food and stuff, but not so extravagant that it's in any way wasteful.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - politicians. poppy and lao instilled manners in her; lin would invite acquaintances she knew wouldnt come just out of politeness, but she will not stoop low enough to include those she actually dislikes. no media either.

Who does the most cooking? - 50% kya, 30% lin, 20% restaurants or takeout.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - lin by far. kya's adapted to just about anything.

Who does the grocery shopping? - lin picks up a few things each trip, often, while kya goes out and fills the pantry once a month.

How often do they bake desserts? - kya has more of a sweet tooth, but neither indulge frequently. most desserts are made with the air kids, or surrounding holidays.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - kya likes seafood and poultry, lin likes seafood and steak. salad is always a side dish, never main.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - they plan anniversaries & birthdays together. as far as surprise dinners in general, kya likes to cook different things, especially cuisines from her travels. random nights lin will get home to find a monster of a mess and an ecstatic girlfriend.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - kya.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - kya.

Who cleans the room? - lin has a monthly cleaning person who dusts and vacuums. between visits, she keeps everything orderly.

Who is really against chores? - neither. lin likes her residence neat. kya travelled for years, she got used to doing a lot on her own. she learns the ways lin keeps stuff like laundry, dishes, books, and adapts; it makes lin far more comfortable, and in turn, kya's happier.

Who cleans up after the pets? - both. if either sees an issue they deal with it immediately, but the pets are well-behaved in general.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - their guests are always friends, so it's hardly ever worrisome to invite people over. at first kya was apprehensive letting people into lin's house, but the two talked about it, and lin insisted she feel comfortable as well.

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - kya can spend an easy hour in the bathroom, reading or listening to the radio. post-long work day, lin will relax in the bath for half an hour, usually with kya's company.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - lin's got mornings, kya afternoon.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - lin pays for an exterior decorator because all the houses on the street are festive and she doesnt want to be a grinch. when kya stays/moves in, she puts stuff up inside. lin's not sure where she got it all, but there is now a dedicated holiday-closet.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - kya. she's just as likely to wake at dawn, however.

Who is worse to make angry? - kya. she forgives but will not forget.

Who decided on the pet(s)? - the whole animal discussion began when a family of wingless turtleducks migrated into a pond in lin's front yard. lin was so excited, checked in on them every day, added stones to make a shelter, bought animal-specific food to give them. when kya visited she fell in love with them too. many months later when kya moved in, lin brought up the wish of having a dog. considering the long and unpredictable hours, it had never been a fair idea. the conversation was casual, "it would have been cool to have a pet, but it wouldnt have ever worked out." but kya was like :o do you still want one, i've always wanted one. and lin's like, i suppose so, and begins considering it. a week later lin mentions it again and kya's very supportive. they went to a rescue and lin fell in love with a deer dog, and kya was spouting a number of possible names that had to have been thought of prior. she realizes kya was really into it too, so they pull the trigger and adopt it. half a year later lin comes home with a pygmy puma that had been imported by a triad leader, then released into the city once it got "too large." the poor animal had been mauled by a cat owl, and lin helped nurse it back to health. the small feline absolutely loves lin, and even enjoys the company of kya and (unnamed deer dog.)

#kya lok #lin beifong #kyalin #my hc's #post convergence

45 notes · View notes

normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

Text

The world keeps spinning (it really shouldn't)

Vance did it. He defeated Josephine, saved his grandpa and Elliot, and saved the town. Everything's fixed.

No. Everything is awful. He failed, and now his friend- now Tom is gone.

And he'd rather fight Josephine all over again, because it'd be easier than what he has to do now- tell Andy about it.

Fandom: It Lives (Visual Novels)

Relationships: Andy Kang/Tom Sato, Danni Asturias/Imogen Wescott, (dannimogen is background and very brief but i couldn't resist), Andy Kang & Ava Cunningham & Lucas Thomas & Lily Ortiz

Additional Tags: tom dies and everything is awful, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Friendship, for basic context im going with the version of ILITW that i got, which is that everyone survived and noah took jane's place, and then for ILB i did the version where tom dies obviously, (which is not the version i got), (everyone survived), (i feel the need to say this for my own ego), but anyway i was like what if tho. andy would be devastated, and then... this happened?, only difference from canon is that ILITW MC told everyone about noah a lot before, also like. imma be real with yall, im physically uncapable of giving my MCs serious names, so ILB MC was named That Bitch and i didnt want to give him a real name, cuz it felt like betrayal, so im just calling him vance for this one, is it his nickname? is he called vance vance? dont worry about it, Anyway that's it, Pining, you know. before the death part. it's mentioned, also we're ignoring the whole richard tries to murder MC thing, cuz i dont have time for that, so pretend ILB ended on chapter 17, Hopeful Ending, considering the theme i mean

Read it on Ao3

The city of Westchester looks exactly the same, but somehow feels a lot less wholesome, now. Vance walks in it and feels like a corpse among the living, like a ghost screaming to everyone that something's wrong. And being ignored.

It shouldn't look the same, without Tom.

But no one knows, yet.

He swallows, running a hand behind the nape of his neck. That's why he's here, anyway - they should know, they deserve to know, and he doesn't want to have the funeral without Tom's friends there.

Which is why he's going to tell Andy. Himself, in person. Because he might not know him very well, but he wants to do the right thing, and that's the least Andy deserves. He knows there's no one Tom loved like he did Andy, and from what he's seen of them together, the feeling was mutual.

He has to do this. But he feels sick, just thinking about that bond, and how it was ruined.

How could he let this happen to them?

He was so cocky, so stupid, so reckless... He thought everything would turn out okay. Assumed it would, even, because it kept getting him through it, to think that everything would turn out fine.

God. What a joke.

He walks into the little diner Andy had recommended. I'm sure you've heard of that place, Tom loves it, he had texted. We always went there to celebrate our wins back in high school. His stomach had churned, but he didn't say anything, because he wasn't going to tell Andy via text. He has to do this right. It's the least he owes him.

So he pretended that everything was fine, and agreed to meet him there. Woke up, and dragged himself to the place, trying to muster up the courage to face the world that seemed to not even care about his mistakes.

When he gets to the diner's door, he takes a deep breath, trying to ground himself for what he's about to do. Face his own mistakes. Face the pain he caused when he failed them both.

He walks in, and to his relief, and despair, Andy is already there. He smiles brightly when he sees Vance, and Vance wants to disappear.

"Vance! Nice to see you, dude. I heard about what went down in Pine Springs, glad you're okay," he says, not giving time for Vance to answer before continuing, this weird sense of calm and sympathy about him. "So, I assume you still need help with that ghost? From what I've seen in the news, it seemed like you handled it pretty well, but it's not like they are giving us supernatural updates or anything, so I figured there were still some loose ends to tie. Are the other guys coming? Where's Tom?" he looks over behind Vance, and Vance wants to die at the question. God, how is he going to tell him? He didn't really think about that, beyond the part where he has to. "I kind of thought you'd come together again. Bad move to come separated, Tom is always late to everything, I swear if it weren't for me he'd have been kicked out of the team for missing practice too many times. And I'm not the most punctual guy in the world, mind you, but I still had to drag his ass there so he'd be on time- is everything okay?"

Vance is a little shocked by the question. It's not, but what is he supposed to answer? "Andy," he says, a little careful, "things… went a little wrong, back there."

"Oh, shoot," he says, "I'm sorry, man, I kinda assumed, when I heard about how the flooding and the animal attacks were in full swing and then just stopped suddenly, that that was when you got rid of the ghost, you know? And seeing you all in one piece… I thought it was over already. Do you need help? I can round up the guys, and we can go-"

"No, Andy," Vance says, "the ghost is gone."

Andy looks at him, confused. "Then what's the problem?"

"Tom," he says, then winces when he sees all the color drain from Andy's face.

Andy waits for barely a second, then breaks into anxious questioning. "Tom? Why? What do you mean? Is he hurt? How bad is it? Did he have to go to the hospital? Where is he?"

Vance wants to cry. God. God. He can't do this. "Andy..."

Andy just looks at him, eyes wild, terrified, and it hasn't even hit him yet. "Vance. Vance. Please. What happened? Does Tom need me? Because if so, we need to go-"

"Tom's gone," he says, and it leaves him in a rush, a whisper, taking with it the last of his energy. He's empty, and somehow, it's still awful. "He's… he's dead, Andy."

Andy looks at him, eyes wide, unfocused, lost. "This isn't funny," he says. "If Tom put you up to this, knock it off right now. Tell him not to ever joke about-"

"Andy," Vance says, then swallows. "Tom wouldn't joke about that. You know that."

"No, he wouldn't, but..." His eyes begin to water, panic settling in, gaze darting across the room as if searching for him, "But… No. No. No, knock it off."

Vance starts crying before Andy does. "I'm sorry, Andy."

--------

Andy is in shock. He freezes in place, mouth hanging open, everything about him completely still except for his eyes, still so damn wide, still searching the place, searching Vance, begging for something, anything. Vance sits him back down on the table, gently, and Andy lets himself be handled back, eyes still not settling on him.

"I'm sorry," Vance says. "I… I promised you that I would take care of him. I tried, but… I'm so sorry."

"How?" he asks, "how could this happen? This isn't… After Redfield, when everyone survived, I just… I didn't think any of us could lose to another monster, I..." He shakes his head, vigorously, desperately. "This was supposed to be over. We were done, we were free, it was supposed to be over, we were all supposed to be safe, it shouldn't..."

"I'm sorry. It all happened so fast, I… If I had been faster, maybe..."

"Well, it's a bit late for that now," Andy snaps, and Vance bites his lip, not recoiling, because he deserves it. Then Andy stops, as if realizing what he had said, and for a second, his eyes seem clear again. He shakes his head. "No. I'm sorry. I… If there's anything I've learnt from everything that happened, it's that we can't point fingers when things get hard." He finally looks up at Vance, shaking, eerily still, nothing like the guy he was just seconds ago. He's wrecked, Vance thinks, and he wants to tear at himself in guilt. "What happened? Did he- did he drown, or… Did the ghost..."

"We were fighting monsters," Vance explains. "There were just… So many of them, and it all happened so fast, I..." he looks away, not daring to look back at the memory, not daring to remember the awful scene. As if he has to. Everytime he closes his eyes, it's back, punishing him. "We got his body," he explains. "Pine Springs is taking the victims to mass graves, but we wanted to give him a proper burial. I thought… You'd want to come."

Andy seems surprised, like that hadn't crossed his mind. "You haven't buried him yet?"

Vance bites his lip. "No. We're doing it tonight. We didn't have the time before, and… Well, I thought you'd want to be there. And I think he'd have wanted his body to be in Westchester, so..." He trails off.

Andy looks at him, hesitant. He bites his lip, looks away, then back at him. "Can I see the body?"

Vance does recoil, this time. He wasn't expecting this question. "I… You won't want to."

"What do you mean, I won't want to? I need to say goodbye to him, I-"

"Andy," he says, as gently as possible, because he deserves Andy's anger, all of it, but he won't let him do that to himself. "You won't want to remember him like that. His body…" He looks at Andy's eyes. He's still furious, livid, shaking, and he's lost, and Vance realizes that he doesn't get it, doesn't understand what Vance is saying, and this might be even worse than having to tell him Tom is dead. "It's torn to pieces, Andy. There's not much for you to see."

Andy freezes, for the second time that day. "Was he- oh, god," he looks at his own shaky hands, somehow even more in shock than before. "Was it… At least, was it quick?"

Vance starts crying again. He opens his mouth to answer. He can't. He chokes on the words, on his guilt, on his uselessness. "I'm so sorry, Andy."

------

Andy throws up. Once, twice. He doesn't insist on looking at the body. Obviously, he can't. Just imagining it- it's too much.

He tries to comfort Vance, because he- he's trying to do better, with his anger, with his impulsiveness, but all he can think about is how much he wants to destroy something, and honestly, the whole conversation is a blur. He punches the wall instead, once he gets home. And throws up. Again and again. Sends his friends a message, letting them know about the funeral. Cries. Punches the wall again. And again, and again, hoping that his hands will start to bleed, that he'll tear himself apart. His mom asks what's got him so angry, and he yells, "Tom is dead!". Her face twists in shock, and he can't look at it. He runs away.

Being back outside is almost worse. Everything- it should be in shambles. The whole town, the whole world should be on fire, fizzling, filled with screams and despair, like Andy is. He's never lived in a world without Tom before, never been away from him his whole life, and it shouldn't look like it's just the same. Everything should be gone, destroyed. And it is, but it doesn't look that way, and Andy wants to tear it all apart until it makes sense, at least.

He hates Westchester now. He hates it. God damn the stupid woods, and the stupid cult, and the fucking Power! God damn Andy for telling Tom about it, for letting him become this sort of- monster hunter, for believing that just because they overcame a ghost once, it would keep happening if they pushed their luck.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

Tom can't be dead. It's impossible.

How can Andy still be standing, if Tom isn't here?

---------

He wanders like that the rest of the day, not noticing the hunger that builds up after going a whole day without eating, not noticing the passersby looking at him worriedly, not noticing the thousands of missed calls from his mom, not noticing anything but this awful despair. He knows the feeling of wanting to claw his chest off intimately well, but it's never been like that before. He wants to carve himself hollow. He wants to scream. He wants to run. And he runs from the all-encompassing nothingness, even though he has nowhere to go.

He goes from angry to empty, and then back to angry, all day long, and the day passes in a blur.

--------

Andy meets up with Vance and two girls from their crew. Their group was pretty small, he realizes. A lot smaller than Andy's was, all those years ago. Three years ago. Forever ago. Another lifetime. Just yesterday.

The cemetery is empty, but there's a grave with a black casket they're standing next to. "I thought all the cemetery crew was helping Pine Springs," he says, like he cares. Honestly, he hadn't thought about the logistics of this at all.

"They are," Vance confirms, serious. "You, uh… You know about Noah, right…?"

Andy nods. "Yeah, we, uh, reintroduced ourselves to him a little after you guys left." It was weird, to say the least. All that anger, all that betrayal, bubbling up again right when they had all started to move on from what had happened, to think that it was over… The urge to scream at him, demand answers… And then seeing all the hurt, and the confusion, and remembering that they had loved Noah, once, most of their lives, and that at the end of the day, the only one who had suffered from his actions was himself.

It wasn't easy to forgive. Not to Andy. Or Stacy. Or Ava. But they had been working on it. Maybe they couldn't forgive, much less forget, but at the same time, they couldn't get rid of that bond, either.

Still… "What does this have to do with… With Tom?" If Noah had anything to do with his death, Andy would kill him all over again. He doesn't care about his freaky powers, he'll die if he has to, but Noah will pay.

"He, uh, helped. Dig the grave and, uh, get a casket. That's how we got everything ready."

Oh. "I… I see," he says. "Is he here?"

"No. I told him you guys were coming, and he said it was better if he left."

"Oh," Andy answers. "I guess that's… Yeah. Still..." he raises his voice a little bit, in the direction of the woods. "Thank you, Noah."

He doesn't see or hear anything, not really, but still, somehow, he can tell that Noah is pleased. He can picture Noah's smile and that fragile little "friendsss..."

He sighs, suddenly exhausted.

Vance seems to notice, god bless his soul. "Are the others coming?", he asks, gently.

"Lily, Lucas, and Ava are," Andy replies. "The rest were out of town, and they… They won't make it."

"I'm sorry."

Andy kicks a pebble. "It's fine," he says. It's the kind of lie that's so absurd that it becomes true. Nothing is fine. It'll never be fine. So it doesn't matter at all, and it ends up being fine.

Vance seems to realize what's going through his head, somehow, because he looks unsure of what to say. Finally, he settles on, "uh, Andy. These are Danni, and Imogen," he says, gesturing to each of them, and Andy musters up enough energy to look at their faces while he does that, at least. Then, his eyes widen for a second, finally taking in what they look like.

"Wait, you're Imogen Wescott?" he says, a little dumbfounded. "When I heard that name, I kinda expected you to be, you know..."

"White and insufferable?" Imogen asks, a little smile directed at him, so gentle he can barely handle it. "Yeah. That's why I'd rather go by Genny, usually."

Danni frowns at her, slightly troubled. "You never told me that."

Imogen's smile turns a little brighter. "Oh, no, not for you, Danni. For you, I'd rather go by 'babe'".

Danni also smiles at her, and they squeeze each other's hands, and the edges of grief seem to turn just a little softer for them both. Andy can tell that things get just a little easier for them, just a little less grim, because they have each other. And he needs to look away, wants to run, because he and Tom… They could've… In a way, they were...

He feels like he's ready to run again. God, he fucked up so bad. What was he supposed to do now, how could he get better when the one thing in the world that always made him feel better was Tom? He lost him, he's gone, it's over, and somehow it hadn't hit quite the way it did at that moment, looking at that connection, that love that showed through grief. He averts his eyes, feeling wild and cornered, and turns back right in time to almost run into Lily - who looks devastated, and reaches out to touch his arm. Which feels crazy, because Andy is raw, and his whole body is bleeding, and rotting away, and who would touch him-

"I'm so sorry, Andy." She says, and Andy finds himself hugging her tight, and he feels like she should wither, die at his touch, suffocate, but she just hugs him back and pats him and Andy cries on her shoulder, and he's never cried in front of her before, much less like this. But he can't stop, he can't do anything, he's so heavy and dizzy and lost-

And Lily is stronger than they give her credit for, because she holds him, this endless weight that is him, even when he shakes and stains her sweater with tears, like it's nothing. She feels so solid, right then, the only solid thing in the world. She's got him, Andy knows, and it's like finally he ran into something he can take shelter in. He takes a deep breath, then another, and holds on for dear life.

"I'm sorry," is the first thing he says, maybe the only thing he knows how to say right now. Maybe this is how Jane felt, in the end - this endless spectre of regret, bigger than everything, than everyone, encompassing her and drowning her until it ate her whole and left her empty, with only the Power and its evil inside her.

He's so tired, but he's not empty, not yet.

He almost wants to be.

"Don't apologize," Lily says, so sad and sympathetic, and it takes Andy a moment to realize what she's even talking about. "I'm really sorry, I..."

It's only then that Andy's eyes focus enough to see Ava and Lucas standing a little after her, their faces twisted with sadness and bodies frozen in place. At times like this, it really is obvious that Lily is the bravest out of all of them, by far. Andy doesn't think he's ever cried in front of any of them, and Lucas and Ava look- completely lost.

Lucas is the first to talk, out of them both. His voice is very soft. "Andy, if there's anything you need..."

Ava interrupts, words leaving her way too fast. "We'll be staying with you tonight." She blinks for a second, frowning at Lucas. "Sorry, I, uh, hadn't realized you were talking." She looks like she just came out of a daze. She probably had been running that in her head for a while. Lucas puts his hand on her shoulder, and Ava runs a head on her neck, embarrassed.

"It's okay," Andy answers, even though her apology wasn't directed at him. "You don't have to, you know, watch over me or..." He trails off.

"We're not leaving you alone," Ava says, resolute. "You know the others couldn't come, but we all agreed that we should be… You know..."

Andy chokes on something he can't quite feel. He looks down at his feet, and he hasn't felt this small in years. "I… Okay."

Ava reaches out to him, hesitant, and gives him a little pat on the shoulder. Lucas starts rubbing his back soothingly, and, very awkwardly, they gravitate into a group hug. Andy can see the nervousness in Ava's eyes, the worry that she's doing this wrong somehow, like a hug is the most complex thing in the world, and he tries to muster up a little smile of encouragement to her, but he's forgotten how to do that. He doesn't know how to do anything, anymore.

Slowly, they separate, and all three of them still keep some sort of touch with Andy - even Ava, with her hand close to his shoulder - like they're trying to anchor him, but he drifts away anyway, lost in whatever it is that's left of himself.

Vance looks down at him for a moment, as if waiting for a signal, but Andy doesn't know for what, so he waits for Vance to figure it out. Finally, he says, "should we start?"

Andy frowns. "Wasn't there some other guy with you? Pork something?"

Vance, Imogen, and Danni all look at each other, uncertain, surprised, for a moment. It's Imogen who speaks up. "He… He left us."

Ava swallows. "Did he also..."

"No," she says, shaking her head, sadly. "He, uh, deserted the group."

"He what?" Someone asks, shocked, almost outraged, and when Andy sees the looks in everyone's faces, he realizes that it was him.

"He couldn't take it," Vance says, face twisted with sadness. "All the fighting, the monsters… He left."

Andy is shaking. Falling apart. About to explode. "When?"

Vance doesn't look at him. "Right before the final battle."

"He abandoned you when you were going up against the evil ghost?"

"He..." Vance begins, then finds that he has nothing else to say. "Yeah."

"How…" Andy begins, lost for words, and then it happens. He explodes. "How dare he!" He screams. "Tom was counting on him, he trusted him, he needed him, and he just left? He should have been there! He should have been there, he should," Andy looks at his own hands, in shock, watching them tremble and go out of focus, like there are tears blocking his vision, and he feels sick, on the verge of death, and he realizes that he's not talking about that guy at all. "He should have been there!" He slips from his own control, falling to his knees, covering his face, feeling shame, shame, shame, hatred, disgust. "He should… I should… Oh God, I just let him go alone..."

"Andy..." Someone says. Maybe Lucas. Maybe Lily. Maybe the Imogen girl. It sounds so sympathetic. He wants to claw at his own skin and hide.

"I should have been there, I shouldn't… I had experience, what was I thinking..."

"Tom didn't want you to go," someone else says, gently. "I was there when you talked, remember? You didn't abandon him. You said you were going to come, and he told you not to."

"Tom.. Tom is not my damn boss," Andy answers, still covering his face, feeling the tears stop spilling and start to drown him from the inside, and god damn T, the least Tom deserves is for him to be able to cry properly- "I-I should have… gone," he chokes, shaking.

The next one who speaks is Ava. "He wouldn't have wanted you to be at risk, Andy."

"I don't care. I don't care. I'm selfish like that, I'd rather it was me. I could have helped him, I could have saved him, even if I had to- to take his place..."

"Andy..." is all Ava says, sounding shaken, devastated.

"Fuck!" He screams, punching the ground beneath him as if trying to punish the earth for taking Tom. "He would have never left me like that, I could always count on Tom, I could always..." he feels his chest constrict, or maybe burst, with all the tears and horror inside of him, like he's cracking from the inside. "Always..." he can't form the words, can't find the air, and he falls in on himself, more, more, more, closing in, suffocating, "always..." he can't breathe. He can't breathe. He tries to draw it in, to keep himself steady, but every time he tries to bring it in, the air escapes from him again, further, abandoning him, and he wheezes, again, again, closing in further, suffocating, oh God, he's going to die…

"It's a panic attack!" Someone screams, then kneels beside him, putting their hands on his shoulders. "Andy. Andy. Focus on me. You need to breathe. Deep lungfuls. Come on. I'll count to four. Keep breathing in. 1… 2..."

"Can't," he wheezes. It's too strong, like there's something… Something constricting his chest, inside and outside, and then he realizes… "Binder." He sits down straighter, no longer closing in on himself, and that awful vulnerability gets even worse, but it's easier to breathe. He follows the person's counts… 1, 2, 3, 4… Then up to five, then to six, then to seven, then eight… Until finally he doesn't need help, and he opens his eyes and contemplates the absolute mess that he is, and Imogen's kind, relieved face just inches from him.

"Good, Andy, you did well… I have these sometimes, too, I know how scary they are, you were so brave..." Imogen keeps on saying, painfully understanding, and he nods, a bit exhausted to explain. He didn't take his binder off all day, didn't remember… And if he wears it for too long, he's more prone to hyperventilating, especially if he's stressed. Tom knew that. Tom would have known what was going on. Tom… Fuck.

"I'm sorry," he says, to everyone, and no one in particular.

"Don't apologize. We're all glad you're okay," Lily says, and he realizes that, somehow, she had also kneeled beside him and brought him into another hug. He hides his face on her shoulder, shaking his head, trying to breathe. Breathing. She pets his head, a little bit, and he can feel some more touch, too - little pats on his shoulder and back, all gentle, not crowding him, like he's some sort of wild animal they're trying to calm down.

God, what a mess.

He holds Lily tighter, wanting to hide from the world. She lets him, because it's the kind of person Lily is. He feels himself drift away, for a while, but Lily's still petting his head and he can't lose himself completely. He shakes his head, wanting to fight it, almost wanting to get away from Lily, but he can't escape the gentleness in her embrace. He still can't cry, but he feels his eyes water and burn anyway, and he shakes his head against Lily's shoulder. He just wants this to be over. Please, he's so exhausted.

His breaths even, despite himself, but Andy keeps shaking, and he keeps shaking his head slightly against Lily. He wants this to end, it has- has to be a nightmare…

"Shh, Andy, don't hold it in, it's okay," Lily says, slowly, sadly, and Andy shakes his head more vigorously. No. He can't be weak right now, it's only going to make it last longer. He needs to end it, can't be done with this until Tom has gotten his goodbyes.

It's the least Andy owes him, now that there's nothing else he can do.

So, he speaks up.

"We should go on," he says, suddenly feeling resolute. It's easier to do this if he has something to focus on. He needs to see this through the end, for Tom. If he thinks only about that...

"Are you sure?" Vance asks, hesitant.

Andy nods, forcing his vision to focus. "He needs to rest."

----------

Everyone's speeches go by in a blur. Vance talks about how good Tom's heart was, how he was willing to drop everything to go help a bunch of strangers, how everyone could always count on him. He cries, and he says he's sorry, and the girls put their arms around him, tell him that he did his best. Imogen brings up how kind he was, and Danni talks about his strength. They really loved him, Andy notices, and feels his heart settle just a little bit. He was loved till the end. Of course he was.

Lucas talks about how supportive Tom was, how he was always uplifting everyone around him and would let Lucas babble on about conservation for hours. Lily brings up how much he believed in her and supported her when she was making her videogames. Ava says that Tom was the only one who ever saw her looking up Westchester's history and cults and just… Sat down with her and helped, understanding that she needed this to feel safe, to feel ready, and sharing that burden of getting ready for a disgrace, just a little bit. Andy never knew that Tom had been joining Ava for research. He could've helped with that, too. He could have done a lot of things, if he had paid more attention.

He's left for last, and a part of him wants to be a coward, to stay silent, but that was never his style.

"When Tom had turned into a zombie," he begins, "Redfi- Jane made him hurt me. And I wasn't worried for myself. I was worried for him. I wanted him back, no matter what it took, no matter what happened to me," he begins, not looking at anyone in particular, because he knows most of them already know this story, but he's not going to- he's not going to deny Tom the chance to know how he felt about him, before he rests. It's the least Andy owes him.

So, he takes a deep breath and goes on, pushing himself into saying something that matters.

"Then our friends showed up, and they said that Tom was still there. That I had to reach out to him. So I tried. I talked to him about our childhood. About how much he had been supporting me… How he was my best friend. He was hesitant, but so… Scared. I didn't know what to do. Tom and I always got each other..." He loses himself a little, shaking his head, purging the thoughts that were keeping him from going on, "And then someone said, 'Andy's hurt. H-he needs help'." He loses focus for a second, and that can't happen. He takes a breath, tries to make himself talk. "And just like that… Tom came back.

"He extended his hand to me, and helped me to my feet, and suddenly there was color in his face again, and for a second he wasn't even confused as to what the hell was going on, he just wanted to make sure I was okay. He came back because I needed him. Because he couldn't bear to hurt me. He was always there for me, and I… I don't think I ever needed him more than right now."

He stops a minute, to look at the faces surrounding him. There's a grief in them that looks almost like… Pity.

And Andy isn't even mad about it. He feels pitiful.

"I'm not the best guy with words," he admits, "so I don't know how to express how much this meant to me, or how much Tom meant to me. No one understood me like him. Tom is… Was… No, is a part of me. Maybe the best part of me, because I loved him more than anything else about myself. I'll miss him for the rest of my life." He looks down at Tom's grave, carved out of anything else to say. "I love you, buddy."

It's not the greatest speech that's ever been given, but it's what he can say, and at least he's done it. He'll be able to do better, later. He'll come back to talk to him again. As many times as he can, for as long as he can. He swears on that.

Andy steps back from the grave, and doesn't look as they slowly fill it, covering the closed casket with dirt. He finally allows himself to let the exhaustion catch up with him, and is overcome by that blissful, blissful emptiness.

---------

He's fully expecting himself to drop asleep as soon as they get to Ava's place. They decided to stay there for the night, because Andy still doesn't want to face his mom, to see that same grief in her, for her to want to talk to him, to tell him that everything would be fine. He can't do that, not today. At least Lucas had enough foresight to warn her of where they are, so she should leave him alone for now. Lucas is very reliable in a crisis, Andy thinks, making a note to himself to thank him properly later.

But he can't sleep. He's too exhausted to even rest. And for some reason, even though he doesn't want to talk, that's exactly what he found himself doing for the past few hours. Vomiting up all sorts of memories and thoughts, ranging from funny moments he had with Tom to all of his regrets, and Andy's always been kind of a stress-talker, but it's never been like this. He feels like he's been skinned alive; there's nothing to hold himself together, to hold anything at all in.

He cries all the tears he didn't think he had left in him anymore, and he curses himself, and the guy who left them in the end, and Noah, and the Power, and the cult, and himself again. He scratches his own skin until Lucas gently takes his hands in his, stopping him from doing more of it. And he talks, through all of that. Talks and talks and talks.

The words make him drift through memories, through states of mind, and he knows he's so damn volatile today, it's like he can't anchor himself to a feeling, but his friends put up with him anyway.

Finally, he starts to settle into this sort of… Slowness, like his mind is clear, or maybe blank, even as he keeps on thinking. And he keeps talking through it, letting all the minor regrets have their turn after he's too damn done to keep dealing with the worst parts.

"I never told him I was in love with him," Andy says, staring at the three empty mattresses in front of him, because it's easier than looking at any of his friends, who are currently sitting right beside him, as he babbles on. "I was going to, you know? After R- Jane. I had almost died, so I figured, you know- yolo, and all that. And then I told myself, 'I'll wait until I'm out of the hospital.' And then I started to think… What if he didn't feel the same way? What if things got weird? What if I end up losing him? And I never told him," he looks at his own feet, "and now I lost him anyway."

They all just look at him. They used up all the "I'm sorry, Andy"s left in them a long time ago, he thinks. There's only so many platitudes you can muster up when you know they're worthless, when you're just repeating yourself.

God bless them for trying, though. They're sticking with him through their own- everyone's inadequacy to deal with what's going on. Andy can't thank them enough for that.

"He knew you loved him," Ava says, serious, and Andy frowns at her, doubtful. "He might not have known you were in love with him, but… He knew how much he meant to you. I'm sure of it."

Andy laughs, humorless, "did you finally get those mind reading powers you wanted?" he says. It falls flat, but they pretend it doesn't, for his sake.

Ava rolls her eyes. "Don't be an ass, Kang," she says. "No. I just… I can tell. Anyone can."

Andy bites his lip, looking away.

She presses on, as gently as she can. "Besides, you also know, don't you? Regardless of anything else… Tom loved you, just as much as you loved him."

"I still love him," Andy says, before he can think about it, and a weird kind of shame creeps up on him - for saying it, for not saying it sooner, for realizing that this… It'll probably never go away, even now that it's completely pointless, that it's just proof of his cowardice.

"That's… Normal," Lily says, fiddling a little with her sweater. "You don't forget someone just like that, just because something happened. I mean, look at me and Britney. It took me years to get over her, and even then, I had to have supernatural forces show me exactly who she was, first."

"She didn't deserve you," Ava says.

"Maybe not. It doesn't matter now," Lily says. "The point is… It's okay to still love him."

Andy hugs his knees. "I don't think anything is okay, right now."

"That's okay, too."

They stay in silence for a moment, and then Lucas speaks up. "I know 'it gets better' stories don't really help at times like these," he says, "so I won't tell you that, but… I know what it's like, to feel like nothing will ever be okay, ever be enough. So… At least you're not alone, in that feeling."

Andy's mouth does something. It's not a smile, but it's what it can do right now. "Yeah. At least it's not like last time," he says. "With Jane. We all fell apart, and… It felt really lonely, even though..." He chokes up. "I had Tom."

Lucas rubs at Andy's shoulder sadly, and Andy shakes his head.

"It's just that he didn't get it, you know? And I couldn't tell him, about what happened," he says, instead of thinking about how much worse this is, no matter how many friends he has by his side right now. "So I… Missed you guys." He finishes, ashamed.

"We get it," Ava says, solemn. "And we're sticking with you, this time around."

"Yeah," Lucas agrees.

"Yeah," Lily adds.

"Okay," Andy answers. "I… Thanks."

They hug him tighter. It's all they have to say.

#it lives #andy kang #tom sato #andy x tom #tom x andy #it lives beneath #ilb #it lives in the woods #ilitw #ilb mc #i feel like ive been editing this fic my entire life #also apparently i write deathfic now. thats uh. something #anne ways. have this

11 notes · View notes

bloody-wonder · 3 years

Note

I think at one point u said u didnt like damen, I was wondering why?

many reasons - all of them very subjective!

first of all damen is just the total opposite of what i imagine as an ideal fictional character (which is laurent haha) in terms of his physical appearance as well as personality. i find big muscular men to be extremely aesthetically unattractive, especially when the love interest is much smaller and looks more androgynous or feminine. the height and size difference between damen and laurent, which the fandom appreciates greatly and loves to exaggerate, disgusts me quite a lot. in general, i just hate when fictional men have physical and personality features traditionally associated with masculinity and fictional women - those associated with femininity. gender norms ugh

damen is also to a broad extent a typical fantasy protagonist - a manly man who can swish his sword back and forth and relies on crude force much more than on cunning and intellect, the kind of hero the reader is supposed to relate to instantly and without questioning what he stands for. neither do i care for such heroes nor do i relate to them. although calling damen kind and stupid wouldn’t be a correct characterization, when contrasted with laurent he very much comes off as a gryffinpuff himbo. the gryffindor part i could take or leave but the hufflepuff part is unacceptable.

a very specific and weird reason for me to dislike damen is his relationship with sex. i find it much easier to relate to characters who don’t know what they’re doing and are learning as they go and, in turn, an experienced character whose prolific sex life is the subject of international gossip alienates me instantly. plus, he’s always horny. like,, ALWAYS. he really did make a move on laurent at the baths huh. i have mixed feelings about his enormous and constant attraction to laurent bc on one hand, i can’t really blame him cause have you seen laurent? but on the other one, like,, seriously? if this is how allosexual people really live, i don’t envy them

(when i was reading capri for the first time i genuinely thought that their first time at ravenel was a test to mirror the one in the baths. just like in the baths laurent wanted to see what damen would do if he had laurent naked and defenseless in front of him and damen failed the test, i thought that in ravenel laurent initiated the sex in order to see if damen would go through with it while believing that laurent didn’t know his true identity. damen failed the test once again: having sex with somebody he was exceptionally horny for proved to be more important than being honest with somebody he’s supposedly in love with. in the end, this turned out to be irrelevant, but in fics such stuff is tagged as dubcon, just sayin’)

and last but not least, i just find it very alienating how beloved he is in the fandom. in this regard, damen is much like nicky hemmick - much easier to like than some of the other characters and so people like him, often uncritically. with laurent you have to make all these caveats and justifications for why you like him, which of his actions you condone and which not, what you choose to forgive and what you choose to overlook. but with damen you can just go ahead and stan him - this dude who has owned sex slaves for most of his life and prides himself on “being nice to them” and “taking care of their pleasure”. as far as i remember the books don’t focus much on this aspect of his character development, some of the fics do a much better job. but nevertheless, it frustrates me that laurent’s book one crimes are perceived as glaring issues whereas damen’s flaws are seen as something he can just reconsider and stop doing so nobody really has to be mad at him.

basically, laurent has to earn the reader’s sympathy whereas damen has it from the very beginning just by virtue of being the generic main character. this narrative dynamic is something that fascinates me a lot and frustrates me the most at the same time. from my pov we have a man who lost his family as a child, was abused by a person he trusted and grew up in an extremely hostile environment and a man who grew up in such comfort and priviledge that it never even occured to him to question the morality of slavery - why is it the first guy who has to do the work in order to atone for his mistakes? why is it always the laurent-type character who has to redeem himself, earn forgiveness, “develop”? why does his arc have to peak in adopting traits associated with the damen-type character (futile selflessness and reckless bravery)? why can’t damen instead improve as a character by developing laurent’s cunning and power of insight? bc in our collective consciousness at some point we’ve started to associate the former qualities with heroism and the latter ones with being evil and untrustworthy. i feel like at the end of capri laurent’s personality has changed entirely, whereas damen... well he learned that slavery is bad and that people are not always what they seem but otherwise? he’s the same guy as at the start of the story. the framing tells us that “laurents” have to change in order to earn love and sympathy but “damens” are fine just as they are.

as you can tell i strongly disagree and this is another reason why i don’t like damen.

#damen of akielos #laurent of vere #captive prince #capri mine #asks #this is actually something aftg deconstructs which makes it a superior story #i really can't shut up can i #i feel like when i start typing i can go on forever #anyways #damen *at least i am nice to my slaves* of akielos gets a 3/10 from me

32 notes · View notes

mymp3 · 3 years

Note

I love how you talk about dream srsly

so nice to see ppl from different corners of dsmpblr liking him :]

thank you so much anon i am smiling very wide rn :)))) he just means a lot to me and ive got a lot of feelings when it comes to dream so im glad you like how i talk abt him

(this gets a little ranty, just in terms of what dream stuff means to me so im gonna put a read more here)

I think its a little funny that i actually don’t end up talking about him as often as i do, but i think its just because my main focus is character lore and dsmp stuff. But if it wasn’t for that i’d absolutely be endlessly talking about and drawing dream team.

I found dream’s channel at the beginning of January 2020. All i would do would be watch new dream videos, and draw dream and george art during lunch of my senior year. I was a little embarassed at first and mostly kept it to myself. But i ended up posting the art i did on this tumblr, its some of the first dream and george art to my knowledge. I remember around that time there were around 3 or 4 dream artists, and nobody quite knew how to tag either so it was wacky. Before i left for a bit i remember the beginning of some big things that i wont name here but admittedly looking back on it is very funny.

When quarantine hit, i ended up finding and playing dangan, and that became my main thing for a couple of months. But i would always keep myself up to date on the dream videos, they still cheered me up and meant the world to me. During this time i figured out i had adhd, and it make a lot of things click. I still had lots of figuring out to do in that aspect, but for the time, it was alright.

I found dream smp when i started falling out of my dangan hyperfix, and while all of this was happening i found myself binging all of dreams content again, trying to catch up on anything i missed. When i was on my little content binge i learned dream also had adhd, along with technoblade. I can remember how happy it made me, especially with me figuring out the adhd symptoms i had no idea about. It made me so happy to see dream, someone who was outspoken in his adhd experience, succeed the way he was, and having fun with his friends. I began to realize that “oh i do that too!” and see little bits of my own adhd experience in the way he does things. It helped a lot, and i’ll always remember that.

around christmas i got a dream hoodie and 13 mil coin, i put the little sticker that came with it on my cintiq. Idk i just every time i think about dream he makes me smile and i’ll always admire him in certain aspects. He just is such a , i dont know how to describe it , sunshine person to get to watch.

This accidently got a bit ranty and personal but sometimes i just get this way where i just have lots of emotions i need to get out and i dont know how to do it. Aaa anyways, thank you again for the ask anon. I know you didnt ask for an essay but i just wanted to share how much appreciation i’ve got for the guy

#thank you for the ask anon!

4 notes · View notes

freddiesaysalright · 4 years

Text

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes - Chapter 5

Gwilym!Prince Charming x Reader

Summary: After losing your parents, your step-family makes your life impossible. That is, until Prince Gwilym holds a ball. It’s your one chance for everything to change.

Word Count: 4.1k

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @the-moving-finger-writes, @assembledherethevolunteers, @rose-writes-prose, @queenlover05, @26-7-49, @drowsebaby, @im-an-adult-ish, @queen-paladin, @rogerina-owns-me, @mirkwoodshewolf, @namelesslosers, @headl0ng, @captvianswaan, @folietracksix, @baltimoresweethearts, @killer-queen-87, @haileymoreolikestupid, @itsametaphorgwil, @misslolasworld, @whitequeen-ofwillowgreen

A/N: It’s the grand finale! Thank you again for all the lovely responses to this fic! I can’t believe I’m almost done with the Disney AUs already! also i barely proofread this because i was so excited to post it so if you see a typo no you didnt

Warning(s): brief descriptions of abuse

Moodboard

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5 here we go!!!

Frank and his daughters came home about an hour after you did. You were already back in your servant clothes and waiting by the door. You took their cloaks and bags, and began hanging them on the rack in the main hall.

“How was your night?” you asked politely.

“It was a splendid evening, Y/N,” Frank answered. “More than you could ever hope for.”

“I’m sure it was,” you returned, holding back a smirk. If only he knew.

“I’m relieved to see you have not stolen anything else from my wife’s closet,” he sneered.

You shook your head. “No, sir. I wouldn’t dream of it. I’ve been thoroughly educated.”

“Very good,” he said, seeming displeased that he couldn’t goad you.

But nothing could spoil this night. It was perfect.

“Is there anything you need before going to bed?” you asked.

“I’m fine, but you’ll of course help the girls get changed,” he said.

You nodded again. “Absolutely.”

He watched you suspiciously as you followed your step sisters up the stairs. You were calm. Too calm. And you were humming, which you didn’t normally do. Plus the tune was something he had heard somewhere - but no event would have had you in attendance. His frown deepened. Something was up.

***

Gwilym returned to the palace two hours later, empty handed and broken-hearted. Rami and Ben were waiting on the steps for him, but as he walked up, he only shook his head. They sighed, disappointed for their friend. Thankfully, the remaining guests had all gone home.

“Sorry, mate,” Ben said.

“There was no sign of her?” Rami asked.

“No,” Gwilym said. “Even the carriage tracks just seemed to disappear. It was like she just vanished.”

“So, all we’ve got to go on is the shoe?” Ben wondered, holding it up.

Gwilym had only entrusted his best friends with it, and they had kept it from his father.

“It’s made of glass,” Gwilym said. “Which means it only fits her.”

“So what are we gonna do?” Rami asked. “Try the shoe on every woman in the kingdom?”

“Only the single women,” Gwilym said, as if it were obvious.

Rami and Ben shared a surprised look.

“I hope you’re joking,” Ben said.

“Far from it,” Gwilym replied. “I’m going to find that girl, and I’m going to marry her.”

Rami sighed. “Very well, then. But let’s start in the morning.”

“Thank you both,” Gwilym said, relieved. They had every reason to leave now. Both had duties at home, and had done what was socially expected. With the ball over, there was no obligation to stay. “Really.”

“Of course we’re gonna help you,” Ben said. “But I’m with Rami. Starting tomorrow.”

“You guys go on up, I’ll be right behind you,” Gwilym insisted.

His friends shrugged, but did as he requested and went inside. Gwilym remained, holding that glass piece of you carefully in the crook of his arm. He looked out into the night sky, hoping somehow you could feel his desperation.

“I am coming for you, my darling,” he said quietly.

***

You yawned as the sun peered into your room through your curtains. You were feeling unusually light this morning. Like you were still floating just above the ballroom floor. With a contented sigh, you stretched and forced yourself out of bed. Frank and the girls would be needing their breakfast soon, but you knew you had a little extra time today. They’d certainly have a bit of a lie in after the late night.

You threw your dress and apron on. You did a spin around your room, giggling as you imagined Gwilym there with you. Then you had to slow to a stop. It was a fantasy, nothing more. One glorious night. But now it was time to return to reality and your true life. Still, you could cling to the dream for one morning.

Humming to yourself, you put the pot on to boil and began prepping plates for breakfast. You set a pan atop the stove to start some sausages when you heard the jingle of a bell. You looked at the wall. It was coming from Eleanor’s room, so you guessed she was up. You asked Elsie to start the food and went back upstairs to get your step sister dressed. When you reached the landing, you saw Frank emerging from his room, already dressed.

“Good morning,” you said kindly.

“Y/N, what did you get up to last night?” he asked.

“Why, nothing, sir,” you said. “I cleaned up, as you instructed, changed clothes, and got a head start on some other chores. When those were done, I occupied myself by reading.”

He seemed skeptical. “I see. I hope you weren’t reading anything too fanciful. You mustn’t fill your mind with...unrealistic dreams and fantasies.”

Your brow furrowed with confusion. What was he implying?

“No, sir,” you said. “I try to keep everything practical.”

“Good,” he said. “Now get to work.”

You nodded, a bit perplexed, but continued into Eleanor’s room.

***

In the morning, Gwilym was the first up. He hardly slept at all. He wrote a decree for his father to send out, that he and Ben and Rami would be making the rounds through town and the countryside to find the owner of the missing shoe. They would begin today, and search until the prince had found his lost love.

To his shock, the king agreed to this. He read over it at the breakfast table, nodding at each point. The ladies were to try on the shoe and if it fit, it must be the girl who Gwilym met at the ball.

“Very well,” he said. “You’ll begin today?”

“Yes,” Gwilym said. “I want to find her as soon as possible.”

“Alright, son,” the king replied. He looked at the prince and offered a sincere smile. “And best of luck.”

Gwilym beamed. “Thank you, Father!”

And so, they began their search within the palace, where the out of town noble guests were staying. Gwilym had his doubts about those girls because he met them before you even came through the door. But he knew everyone deserved a fair chance. When the shoe fit none of those women, they made their way into town, with a few guards along for protection.

***

Frank received a letter from the palace early in the morning. He looked it over and you saw a flash of...something cross his face. You couldn’t place the emotion though. It seemed almost like a glimmer of hope. His eyes glanced over at you before quickly turning to his daughters.

“Girls, get yourselves looking nice,” he said. “We’ll be having visitors from the palace this afternoon.”

“The palace?” you questioned, without meaning to, but you could hardly help yourself.

“Yes, but that isn’t any of your business, Y/N,” he snapped. “Get my daughters ready and then proceed with your chores as usual. You are not to make your presence known while the visitors are here.”

You nodded apologetically. As you made your way back to the kitchen, you wondered if the visitors Frank referred to could be Gwilym and his father. Was he looking for you? Something in your heart told you he was, but you hardly even dared to hope. Such a thing was the stuff of dreams. And yet, the ball seemed like a dream too, but it was as real as the tea kettle you carried. You began devising a plan.

As the day wore on, you completed your chores quickly. You wanted to prepare yourself as well. Your gut was telling you Gwilym was on his way to take you away from here. And you had all the proof you needed in that slipper that was hidden beneath your bed. So when you finished sweeping the entrance hall, you ran up to your room to get it. Only, when you opened your door, you came to an abrupt stop. Frank was sitting on your bed, holding the slipper by the heel. One wrong move of his fingers and it would fall, risking a break.

“Well, well, well,” he said darkly. “I had a feeling you had made your way to the ball. You’ve been far too dreamy to have had as dull a night as you claim.”

Your heart rate quickened.

“That’s mine,” you said, feeling childish as the words left your mouth. “It was given to me.”

Frank laughed humorlessly. “Oh, likely story. I suppose this is another one of my wife’s things you stole.”

“You cannot stop me from this,” you said, ignoring the accusation. “The prince loves me.”

“Against his better judgement, I believe that’s true,” he admitted.

You blinked, surprised at your step father’s nonchalance about this. Did that mean he would accept it? No. There had to be something else he was getting at.

“As it is, though,” he said. “You’re spoken for.”

You frowned as your stomach dropped.

“What are you talking about?” you asked.

“You’re mine, Y/N,” he said, getting to his feet and straightening his jacket with his free hand. “And mine alone.”

A chill ran down your spine. Was he really saying what you thought he was saying?

“I’m not a slave, Frank,” you said. “I am free to do this.”

“I do not intend to make you my slave,” he said. “I intend to make you my wife.”

Your body went rigid as the blood ran out of your face. The very idea made your stomach churn. The thought of being his wife, sharing his bed, bearing his children...you nearly heaved right there in front of him.

“No,” you said firmly. “I won’t.”

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice,” he said.

“It’s sick!” you cried. “I’m your daughter!”

“Step daughter,” he said. “I will have this estate, Y/N. You will do for me what your mother could not. My son will be the true and rightful heir, and start a new line.”

“Are you not happy with the children you have?” you wondered, completely rocked to your core. “Why do you insist on a son?”

“Sons are the only useful offspring,” he scoffed. “Daughters are just mouths to feed until you can marry them off, and even then, what’s theirs will never belong to their family. It belongs to their husbands. Well, I am not going to lose everything because my previous wives were too weak to give me what I want.”

“I will not,” you refused again. “I’ll run away.”

“And leave behind your home?” he taunted. “The one your father built so lovingly with your mother?”

“It will no longer be a home to me if I am trapped in such a marriage,” you said.

“I’m not giving you a choice, Y/N,” he sighed. “I’ll keep eyes on you everywhere, I’ll lock you in your room, whatever it takes. Or, you can submit to me now and become mistress of this house as you were born to be.”

“I’ll die before I marry you,” you spat. “I’ll die before I bear any child of yours. I’ll -”

“No need to go on,” he said. He was being alarmingly calm about this. “I know the rest. But you will marry me, Y/N. You will have my son, and you’ll do it all without complaint. Just as you have with everything I have ever given you.”

You blinked again. So everything he’d put you through was a test? A way to manipulate you into obeying his every command? He was...grooming you? Your stomach gave another lurch.

“But first,” he said. “We will need to squash your dreams of Prince Gwilym.”

“What do you -”

He cut off your question by hurling your slipper into the wall. It shattered with a crash, which drowned out your anguished cry. You sank to your knees, hopeless.

“There now,” he said. “I’m only teaching you the harsh lesson of reality.”

Tears fell freely down your cheeks. You heard loud knocking at the front door, but barely registered it.

“That’ll be him,” Frank said.

You snapped to your senses and started to rise for one last desperate escape attempt, but Frank was faster. You felt the blow of his palm against your cheek before you even saw it coming. You fell to the ground, face throbbing. You wanted to scream, or cry, or swing back at him, but you were completely numb from the shock. You couldn’t feel anything but the sting on your skin.

“Do not resist me again, Y/N,” Frank warned.

With that, he walked out of your room, and you heard him turn the lock. You were trapped. You curled into a ball on your floor and wept quietly.

***

Gwilym was relieved when the door finally opened. This was the last house of the day. He saw a man there, whose smile was...unconvincing to say the least. He bowed.

“We are happy to see you, Prince Gwilym,” he said. “I am Frank Tarleton, and I believe one of my daughters is the girl you’re searching for.”

Gwilym raised a brow. “But you don’t know which?”

Frank blinked, taken aback, and then laughed an empty sort of laugh. “Good one, your highness. Please, come in.”

Gwilym looked at Ben and Rami who both shrugged. They followed Frank inside and into the drawing room, where two young women sat on the couch, looking nervous. Ben explained everything, with Frank nodding eagerly along. Something about the man struck Gwilym as slimy. He was too polite, too eager to please, and it seemed even his own daughters were made uncomfortable by him. Gwilym sighed.

“Let’s get this over with,” he mumbled.

He was beginning to lose hope. Who was left, if not these girls? And yet, neither of them struck him as the one he was looking for.

***

You listened carefully at your door, not daring to make any more noise. If Frank returned, he might do worse than strike you. But you could listen to what was happening downstairs.

It was a bit maddening to hear, though. To be so close to Gwilym now, and yet so far. To be a prisoner now in your own home was worse than being a servant. And the worst part was seeing the proof of your identity lying in pieces beside you. You felt like the slipper. Broken. Completely in pieces. Like your dreams too.

You heard the front door open and close again. You went to your window and watched Gwilym mount his horse, his friends on either side of him, and trot away toward town. Was that truly the last time you would see your love?

It couldn’t be. Now, you could hear Frank’s familiar footsteps coming back up the stairs. You knew you had to make a break for it as soon as he opened the door. You braced yourself. You had no time to pack anything, no time to grab money or valuables. You would have to break away with nothing but the clothes on your back and a prayer.

You watched the doorknob turn, feeling as if everything was in slow motion. It creaked slowly open and Frank’s body appeared in the door frame. He reached for you, but you ducked under his arm, darted down the hall, flew down the stairs, and straight out the front door.

You ran. As fast as your legs could carry you, not even daring to look back to see if Frank was in pursuit. You just hurtled toward town, hoping that anyone could help you. You would give up your home, and everything you knew - you would even give up your life - before marrying Frank. You had to escape, even if it meant becoming a beggar.

You burst through the back door of the tavern, tears streaming down your cheeks, and chest heaving. Flying through the kitchen, you threw open the doors to the dining area and found Zelda behind the bar. She looked up at the commotion you were making, took in the sight of you, and her brow furrowed.

“Zelda, please!” you cried, frantic. “I need help!”

You went to her, and she took you in her arms.

“Y/N, what’s -”

She didn’t get to finish her question before Frank came barreling through. He must not have been far behind. You let out a scream. Zelda pushed you behind her and you cowered at her back. She put her arms out to shield you further.

“Zelda, remove yourself if you know what’s good for you,” Frank threatened.

“Don’t, Zelda, please!” you begged. “Don’t let him take me! He’s going to force me to marry him! Please!”

She stiffened in front of you. “Oh, no you don’t, Frank. I will not stand by and let you do this.”

“Stand back or you’re fired,” he warned.

“I don’t care,” she shot back. “I won’t let you have her!”

“I’m afraid it’s not up to you,” he returned harshly.

He grabbed her by the shoulders and tried to move her, but Zelda was a stout woman with considerable strength. She resisted him, taking hold of his biceps and forcing him back several steps. Her advantage was clearly gained by the element of surprise.

“Run, Y/N!” she cried. “Get out of here!”

Panicked, you leapt over the counter and wrenched the door open. You threw yourself out of it, trying to ignore the sounds of the struggle behind you. You darted into the street and sprinted as fast as you could away from the tavern. You had no idea where you would go from here - but you could not stay and be forced into a lifetime of Frank.

You glanced back. To your horror, you saw that Frank was emerging from the tavern and had spotted you right away. With a gasp, you turned back around and sped up. Only, as you turned, you didn’t realize what was in front of you. You ran right smack into a man’s back. The force of the collision put you on your rear in the dirt.

Wincing, you looked up. Your jaw dropped. It was Gwilym!

He met your gaze and froze as well. For a moment, you were both back at the ball, when he’d come up to you on the stairs and asked you to dance. He recognized you instantly.

“It’s you,” he whispered.

You opened your mouth to respond, but a sudden stinging on your scalp caused you to cry out instead. Frank had fisted his hand around your hair and dragged you to your feet.

“Your highness!” he gasped, noticing Gwilym. “I do apologize. My servant here has forgotten her manners.” He looked at you and continued through gritted teeth. “And her place.”

He yanked your hair on the last word for extra emphasis. Gwilym’s chest tightened as he watched Frank manhandle you. He briefly imagined himself drawing his sword and plunging it right into Frank’s chest, but he refrained.

“Release her,” he ordered.

Frank looked at the prince, bewildered.

“I’m sorry?” he questioned.

Gwilym’s expression darkened. “I told you to release her.”

Frank hesitated.

“Now!” Gwilym shouted.

You relaxed when Frank finally let go. Your scalp still itched with soreness. You desperately wanted to throw yourself into Gwilym’s arms but you were still afraid of what Frank might do. You did take a cautious step back.

“Your highness, I’m dealing with an unruly servant girl,” Frank said. “But she is mine and I may do with her as I please.”

Your lip trembled and you shook your head.

“That’s not true,” you sobbed. “You know it’s not, I’m your step daughter and you’re forcing me to -”

“SILENCE!” Frank roared, and raised his hand.

You shrieked and covered your face with your arms. But the blow didn’t come. You peeked out, lowering your shield just barely. Gwilym had taken hold of Frank’s wrist. Rami and Ben, who you just noticed being present, both had their hands on their swords. Now was your chance.

“Don’t let him take me back,” you begged again. “Please, your highness, don’t let him.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Zelda trotting up the street. She halted when she took in the scene before her.

“Sir Tarleton,” Gwilym said, releasing Frank’s arm. “We were at your home and I asked you if you had any more women residing there besides your daughters. You lied.”

“It wasn’t a lie, really,” Frank argued. “Just an omission. You see, there’s no way this girl was at the ball when I forbid her from going.”

“If that’s true, then you are still in trouble,” Gwilym said. “All eligible maidens were to attend.”

“She’s only a servant -”

“I know you’re lying, Tarleton,” Gwilym interrupted. “Now stand down.”

Frank stepped away from the prince, shooting glances between him and you. Gwilym turned to Ben.

“The slipper please, Ben,” he said.

“No!” Frank protested, starting toward you, but Rami stopped him.

Ben handed Gwilym the slipped you’d left behind on the staircase. You wiped your cheeks, clearing away the dirt and tears, and held your prince’s gaze. You smiled at him.

“I knew you were the girl from the tavern,” he said gently. “I knew I recognized you.”

“And the cemetery,” you reminded him.

“Yes,” he chuckled. “I remember.”

“How did someone like you even notice someone like me?” you wondered, amazed.

“Because you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever met,” he told you simply. “Inside and out. And from that moment in the cemetery I saw what you truly are - a princess.”

You flushed, looking bashfully at the ground.

“I’m not really a -”

“Maybe not by birth,” he said. “But in heart.”

You met his eyes again. Those eyes that from the first time you saw them, told you the kindness of this man’s soul.

He knelt down onto one knee, holding out the slipper. It made you ache for the lost one Frank smashed, but you were relieved that you had left one behind at the palace. You toed off your boot and raised your leg. Ben stepped closer to help you balance and you shot him a grateful look. Then, you slid your delicate foot into the glass slipper. It fit perfectly.

Gwilym’s face lit up like a firework. Ben let go of your hand as Gwilym laughed, took you up in his arms and spun you around. You giggled with joy as well. He lowered you gently to the ground.

“Now, will you please tell me your name?” he asked.

You chuckled. “It’s Y/N.”

“Y/N,” he repeated, and cupped your cheek in his palm. “How beautiful.”

“No!” Frank shouted again, and this time Rami had to grab him to stop him. “No! You cannot take her from me!”

“The girl does not belong to you,” Gwilym said sternly. He turned and faced Frank. “I see very clearly now that you have been mistreating her. She is free to choose whatever she likes.”

“I’m her father!” Frank insisted.

“Step father,” you said. Then you looked up at Gwilym. “I choose you, my love.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” he replied. “Sir Tarleton, you’ll be taken into custody.”

Frank’s eyes went wide as the guards moved to take him from Rami. They clapped iron rings around his wrists. He seemed too shocked to struggle.

“Take him to the dungeon to await trial for his crimes,” Gwilym instructed. He faced you again. “And you, my darling, may come with me to the palace.”

“For how long?” you wondered.

“Forever, if you wish it,” he assured you.

“I could hardly wish for more,” you said happily.

He took your hand and helped you onto his horse. Together, you headed for safety, and building a life together. In true love.

***

You and Gwilym married as soon as possible. The whole kingdom was thrilled at the wedding. Frank was tried and convicted for his abuse, but would not serve a life sentence, so instead of prison, he was banished from the kingdom. Even so, early in your marriage to Gwilym, you frequently had nightmares where your stepfather returned.

Gwilym was as loving and patient a partner as you could hope for. He let you talk through your trauma, and he made sure to never do anything that caused you fear. His support helped you to truly heal.

Your step sisters had to move from the estate, which was now yours entirely. Eleanor and Miranda were surprisingly happy to take over their father’s first business, the tavern, which they ran successfully with Zelda. They both eventually found merchant husbands and lived peacefully, and you were genuinely happy for them.

But the greatest joy Gwilym ever gave you was your children. You had two boys and two girls, and they were the light of the whole kingdom’s eye - but especially the king, who lived a long and healthy life with his grandchildren. You had no other description for your life besides happily ever after.

#gwilym lee #gwilym lee x reader #gwilym lee imagine #gwilym lee x you #Brian May #brian may imagine #brian may x reader #brian may x you #bohrap imagine #BoRhap #BoRhap cast #borhap boys #borhap cast x reader #borhap cast imagine #borhap cast x you #borhap boys x reader #borhap boys imagine #borhap boys x you #a dream is a wish your heart makes series

117 notes · View notes

katherinewilliams221b · 3 years

Text

For A Greater Good Fun Facts and Self Assesment (spoilers)

Long Post

What worked and what didn’t:

I think the overall structure worked pretty well. The most difficult part was, with the plot and subplot already created, scattering all those ideas throughout the text in such a way that at least made some sense. I regret not writing more about Mer Yankelevich, I feel like the crumbs I left on the way were not enough; in my attempt to make it subtle it lacked information about her. The key piece was of course her sister, and I should have introduced her sooner.

MC’s evolution. I feel like Kate’s learnt a lot with this experience (I’m not only referring to the Deathly Hallows or Grindelwald) When it started, she was very discreet and kept a low profile, not knowing what to do really, not taking more risks than necessary. And then she ended poisoned and splinching just to protect a document she thought was important. I hope her evolution is noticeable for the reader.

Worldbuilding. Grabbing HP concepts that were forgotten and full of potential, plus a dash of original ideas from me and blending them with muggle features was my absolute favourite part of the process.

On that note, I dont own these concepts: Durmstrang, Igor Karkarov, Nerida Vulchanova, umbrella flowers, fanged geraniums, billywigs, Appare Vestigium, glow-worms, trick wand, chamaleon ghouls,

If you’ve read the fic and thought: “everything happened so fast” or got a general odd feeling about the timeline it's because I made a series of monumental mistakes: setting a chapter limit, telling you about it and then tried to stick to it. At first the idea sounded nice: this is my first “big” story with complicated components. I should (and I did) do an outline of what I want to happen in each chapter and stick to it methodically so I don't forget what's happening or lose track of the plot. Well...it kind of backfired. So I wrote the first 3 chapters and at that point I thought “okay everything is going as planned, I’m going to put it out there”, bam, instantly cursed. After that it got ridiculously difficult to make the story that I wanted. Why? I needed chapter space that I convinced myself I couldn’t add. Dumb.

The major consequence of this was the lack of character backgrounds. It started out good, but as I kept writing and publishing I realised that I missed some great opportunities to make amazing ocs. That’s Corentin’s fault in a way: he wasn't going to be a major character, really, just a piece to help Kate a bit. But we all fell in love with him so what was I supposed to do? Also, Sheyi Mawut owns my heart and he got just a bit of spotlight. A shame.

I wish I had written more about them, but I think I wasn’t ready just yet to make it even more complicated.I just wanted to prove I could concoct a mystery plot and now that I know I can manage a fair amount of information I think I can take it a step further and deepen new ocs a little bit more.

I’m thinking about the datura series and I know why I got blocked and tired of writing it; it wasnt going anywhere because I wasnt prepared, and I didn’t do the months of outlines and planning that I did with this one. I’ll come back to the datura story one day, subjecting it to a sever rewrite. The ideas are there, I just need to be organised.

Although the chapter limit was problematic it was also a good exercise of managing space and deciding which things were unnecessary for the story. I dont think there’s any filler chapters, perhaps the last ones, but there is important information there too so... However this sentence from the blog wordsandstuff reassured me (and I think I did a good job at that?)

If you set out to write 10 parts and you write a fantastic story in 8, you haven’t failed and it’s not too rushed. Concise writing is an underrated talent. Focus on how effectively you engage the reader, not for how long.

I spent more than year writing this! When I started, I had a lot of ideas, I wrote the last two chapters then the first 3 and I really thought it was going to be that way with the rest of the story... okay... lesson learnt. #humbled

Other thoughts:

I received a couple of comments on ao3 that said that they were pleasantly surprised. Maybe I should change the tags because they are misleading? Clearly this wasnt what people were looking for lol.

One particular comment stood out to me and quoting it said: “You did not choose the easy way with a fiction with so few characters from the fandom.” And I’ve been thinking about this since I read it. It didn’t occur to me that there were few mystery fics (maybe I should write more things like that? Maybe throwing some power couple detective work 👀 ) In any case, I’m glad I contributed with something different to the fandom, and the fact that the Charlie bits are very scarce but people who read it still liked it is really flattering.

I wanted to make sure that all the characters had strengths and flaws, I didnt want to severus-snape them so maybe I overdid it with that bit of introspection kate does at the end...

Also, I did the kiss and fade thing twice to mention sex. I know some people dont like that but since it wasnt the point of the story and I havent done research on how to write sex scenes I didnt include them. I have that on my “to learn” list.

Conclusions:

Writing the whole thing was incredible. It's my first ‘big’ project and its not a great work (there are some things I wish I did better, thats what you get when you are an agatha christie wannabe) and not writing more character backgrounds will haunt me to this day, but I think it's at least good for a first series and I’m proud of it. I loved spending hours doing research and trying to piece together this puzzle. And of course I’m not an expert and I dont want to sound pretentious (like this is my first story) but if you are planning to write this type of genre I can be another source of tips and tricks for you.

If I read the story after a while and I dont cringe, I would call that a success.

FUN? FACTS!

Bakunawa really belongs to Filippines mythology

Snapdragons have different meanings, one of them being: “grace under pressure or inner strength in trying circumstances”

The entrance to Grindelwald’s room was going to be in the duelling classroom, strangely shaped as a triangle. I had this system where one of the round candle lamps descended and lined up with a line on the floor (serving as separation for duels) it created the Deathly Hallows symbol. I couldn’t make that work because it wouldn't make any sense for Nerida Vulchanova to shape a room like that. Here are some sketches:

Lucius Malfoy was going to appear as the Ministry employee that goes to Durmstrang, but after revising the events of the OoP I realised it was impossible.

Kent Jorgensen was going to be around Kate’s age and the charms teacher and he would have a small crush on her. After seeing some pics of Pen Medina, I rewrote the character completely.

The series was going to be 6 chapters long (I’m glad I decided not to) one for each month. The chapter names were ridiculous: January of Beginnings, February of reputation, March of Students, April of Discoveries, May I? and June of Endings. #tragic

The Dolohov family was going to be a part of the plot but I had to erase that part because it was unlocking another layer of complexity that I just couldnt handle.

I dont remember exactly the chapter but I got really confused with the names Rhode and Hodges and there’s one chapter where I accidentally mixed them (I corrected it I think), but for a while I could stop calling Rhode, Hodges, and vice versa lmao

Here are some sketches that helped me describe and imagine things

Thank you for accompany me in this journey, especially if you endured the process with me lmao. You’ve been here for over A YEAR! <3 Mindblowing

Also I’d love to know your opinions about the way you read the story, I mean, I know some people read it as I published, and some other readers found the story already finished, what are the differences? Should I stop the updating system and drop a story all at once? I know it is difficult to keep up with a complex story if there’s a lot of weekly or monthly gaps between the chapters, so I wanted to know.

Sending you a virtual hug 💜💜

11 notes · View notes

like-rain-or-confetti · 3 years

Note

Can you do a little text with your opinion about the Volturi members? What you like and dislike, they personality, they story... Would be interesting! Kissessss and have a great day! 💜

Imma have a little fun and throw the very young me into the mix to. Let's see child me vs adult me's opinions on the Volturiiii.

Fun fact: I wasn't team Volturi until I was like fifteen. Before that I was team edward... I don't want to talk about that 🤔😒

Also I'm a sucker for villains. If it isn't obvious already, I like the villains more than the heroes. (We all love a bad boy though, don't we?--- TIK TOK NOW IS NOT THE TIMEE.)

So everything i say is just my opinion and should be taken just as that.

Aro: Younger me was like "this...is a terrible person. There really is no need to expand on this." However adult me has been like "GUYS this guy is possibly the SCARIEST character. This man rips off heads AND SMILES ABOUT IT." He gives me child snatcher vibes (from the movies in particular). I thoroughly enjoy the power hungry persona. He's really fitting to be the puppeteer behind the Volturi. Even if he makes it seem it's a group effort with himself, Marcus and Caius. Realistically, Aro gets what he wants and isn't afraid to do what it takes to get it...sorry Didyme. What's even darker about it, WHICH I LOVE, is that he isn't heartless. Smeyer wrote that Aro genuinely loved his sister. It's all good to have a character that's a evil heartless monster but what's more terrifying to me is the ability for someone to do evil despite their love and emotions. It doesn't hold them back and that's what I find particularly frightening now that child me didn't comprehend. Micheal Sheen, from what I remember of his interview years ago, played on the idea that vampires of Aro's age kinda begin to lose their mind. Which, hell freaking yes. However there is one thing I hate for Aro's character that happened in the movies. Breaking dawn part 2. That fucking laugh. Don't get me wrong, hilarious. I can't not laugh but for his character I felt it was too 'hey hey I'm a crazy man hehe'. It was a but too much, even for an eccentric Aro. However, I'm not to mad at it because again, it was funny to watch. I thoroughly enjoy the ‘friendship’ Aro and Carlisle share and i love that it is ‘maintained’ throughout the books. I think it’s just a really nice detail. (I love lore. I am a sucker for it.) The one thing that didnt sit right with me is Aro marrying someone so that he wasnt the alone one whilst his co-leaders were very much in love? Was a little off for me but i suppose that just adds to the character.

Caius: child me would shrink into the seat because what did I do to this man? High key still think I wouldn't want to be Caius' child because imagine doing something wrong and you get that glare? No thank you! Scary angry man. As an adult... "He's an angry boi but...DAYUM WHY IS HE SUDDENLY SO HOT?" Just...don't get angry with me. You'll get annoying real quick and you're too pretty for that. I enjoy the taking-no-shit attitude he has but felt it could have been a little more prominent in BDP2 where Aro asks if Caius' is challenging him. I full believe Caius to an extend would be like "yes, yes I am. Don't be an idiot Aro. Use that braincell!" Which is why I adore the meme vibes I see every now and then of Caius hating Carlisle because why does Aro love that blonde so much? CAIUS HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT LOYAL-- Anyways, I can totally get why Aro wants him on his team. Caius is so angry and has so much hatred that he’s a good asset to the coven, even if not having a special ability.I do find it hard to imagine that Caius is a century older than Aro though. Although I cant picture him over forty years old lol. Although i do personally enjoy the whole Caius x Athenodora route. IT’S TRUE LOVE! Okay so maybe thats a little dramatic but its better than Aro’s lmao.

Marcus: movie Marcus is absolutely not nineteen years old and that's just a fact. If anything, he's the forty year old one lmao. Child me couldn't care about this man. He was the man who said nothing and slumped on a throne. That was Marcus. That was his character summed up. Then adult me rolled in and OMG NO DON'T DO THIS TO THIS SWEET MAN. LET HIM BE IN LOVE. As an adult i definitely became more attached. I feel like i was too young back then to get why Marcus was in the Volturi. He seemed very out of place and like a filler co-leader more than anything. However as i’ve gotten older (and written for him), I recognised that's the point. That’s Marcus’ evident grief. He isn’t there by choice and losing Didyme caused him to fall out of line with the coven. He’s lost point or purpose. Almost like its become meaningless because the love of his life was gone and he couldn't save her.So what was the aims of the Volturi to protect vampire kind when they couldn’t protect their own? He couldnt protect her. I had never heard of anything like bond identification and once i had- i was shook, like it became clear why he had been so necessary in the first place. That really is handy to understand everyones bonds in a coven, he could direct Chelsea and the two alone could destroy covens by bonds alone. Marcus makes the Volturi more realistic in a lot of ways. Like in a family, there is the happy times, goofy people like Felix, the twins representing a close bond. Afton and Chelsea, love that cant be divided. The list really goes on. Marcus represents love and heartbreak, pain, loss grief, the sad moments every family goes through. In that way he makes the coven seem less invincible, a group of people who at the end of the day, have their own weaknesses and immortality doesn’t mean a perfect existence. Especially when, in my opinion, Bella fantasized about immortality and how perfect it would be. Even after her change, she waited for her happy ending because that was somehow guaranteed in some level. Which in the end, she got but not everyone gets that happy ending we all want. I also personally think Marcus is the most feeling of the Volturi, despite being apathetic. A result of heartbreak. It’s shown he can still feel more in his own ways when he voted against Renesmee being destroyed. Furthermore, he advocated that vampire hybrids were a lot like vampires. He made that relation openly before anyone. Its almost as though losing Didyme helped him value a life?

Jane and Alec: Child me thought these two were badass...and that still remains in my adult life. It’s always been uncomfortable to me that someone so young is so sadistic and powerful. Jane is the older twin with the ability of pain illusion...yikes. Her ability was evident in her human life along with Alec’s. His gift is sensory deprivation and these two were my favourites in the whole Saga. Still kind of are if im honest. I thoroughly enjoy the twins backstory. It has the most detail. I have a tag for the twins. Canon!twins is the tag for the twins in their book age. Unless this tag is present, the twins have been aged up :). They are very much canon but I put a bit more emphasis on tantrums. If they get angry, they both have tantrums. So whilst (unless tagged) they aren't children they can be very childish and these tantrums are pretty deadly. They’re also very possessive? I dont even know if thats the right word i’m looking for in all honesty. Lets say they get very attached if they like you. These two are probably the most secluded out of the whole Volturi.

Felix: Felix! High ranking guard due to strength and speed. I am a major supporter of Felix being a gladiator when he was human. He as a lighter grey cloak meaning he isn’t as high ranked but is so good at what he does that he’s been kept for centuries...and a lot of them. Personality? FINALLY, WE’VE GOT ONE WITH PERSONALITY!! (Im writing these out of order and i’ve just finished a chunk of Volturi members who have personalities as invisible as Afton.) Flirtatious and Light hearted, we love flirtatious and light hearted! Basically a comedian! Helllll yes, keep it going! Extremely vicious and highly aggressive? You know what? I still like it. He wouldn’t be a Volturi without a dark side. Cold blooded murderer. Yes. 10/10. Finally, someone Smeyer seems to actually care about. He flirted with Bella a couple of times in the books and i was FOR IT ALL THE WAY. I was very sad i saw none of it in the movies but im used to heartbreak by now. Im in this fandom after all. We were robbed of a lot. Strongest vampire in the world? I believe you, he’s also a hecking treeeeee. HE DO BE A TALL BOI. He actually makes Demetri look small and that’s still hilarious to me. Demetri is actually tall. However, if it isnt obvious we clearly traded backstory for personality. I cant get both smh. So...as i said before I fully believe Felix was a gladiator back in the day, hence his physique and height and excellent fighting abilities he has even as a vampire but then it kind of ends. I will say from the dawn of time, i don’t think Felix is the most academic man, just because of his era. I also think majority of the Volturi couldn’t read of write in their human lives and had to learn much older, most learning as vampires. Felix was one of these vampires, Although even now he isnt the most great at it. Then a wonderful writer known as @wallwriterstuff included it and now it’s canon in my eyes. I fully believe Felix is a slow reader and writing isn’t his strong suit either. Wallwriter also includes the possibility that Felix could be dyslexic which im all for too. For a very long time i’ve considered writing a dyslexic reader with the Volturi but have always hesitated because i don’t have it and wouldn’t want to upset someone for any misunderstandings or inaccuracies. However what i will say is that i think vampires would be the most understanding to humans with dyslexia. Learning things like that in later development or as an adult is difficult and they wouldnt think any less of you for struggling with reading, writing, numeracy- you name it. You’ll probably find they’re with you in the struggle at least half of the time. He’s also the goofball of the Volturi, even though he’s not really a goofball in our eyes, he’s the closest to a goofball out of the whole Volturi ...Emmett beats him in the Goofball wars.

Demetri: Oh yeah, it's Demetri's turn! So Demetri was previously in Amun's coven. When Chelsea gave him the old razzle dazzle...I've said Chelsea's gift so many times at this point it's getting old. I have two characters left after Demetri 😂😂 Anyway, with that Demetri was like "welp, I'm in the Volturi now." And now that they had a better tracker the previous one was kicked out. He isn’t much of a talker, polite and formal. He’s elegant (more graceful than i could ever be) and charming...yeah he is, you can say that AGAIN. He is also very calm, when next to Felix, i think everyone is calm but you know, we’ll say he’s a very calm person. I like how he was originally in the Egyptian coven with Amun. Given Amun’s goals this a pretty nice detail. NOW LETS GO TO MY VERSION. He’s very charming, calm, polite, formal and even a lil’ but quiet, i kept him pretty canon because he actually had a description to go on :)))))))))) Moving on. Demetri can be a very successful flirt when he wants to be and does have a Casanova reputation. However beyond the charming Volturi guard who has a brutal side like the rest of them, he has a chewy centre, deep down. I added that he had a child in his human life, one he doesn’t remember and very few people know about. He remembers that they died of an illness very young (around six?) but can’t remember what they look like. For that reason he doesn’t like talking about his child, he feels awful he doesn’t remember them and the loss still hits a pang in his chest.

Heidi: Alright im ready for this one! Child me didn’t necessarily enjoy Heidi? I was rather passive about her. It was all ‘pretty vampire used for her looks’ in my eyes back then and i was never comfortable with that. I’ll get into my take on Heidi in a moment, roll on the backstory! So Heidi knew Victoria as they used to be coven mates and we’re going to continue on as though Heidi didn’t care when she was killed? Like...its genuinely a burning question in my mind! If she didn't care, could that show the extent of Chelsea’s power in action!? (can we tell im enthusiastic about this coven yet?) It’s quite smart to have someone lure in prey. I wont lie, Heidi has quite the badass role in the coven. I wouldn't have thought about that I reckon. I’ve always thought that showed a kind of superiority. Oh you guys need to hunt your prey? pfft, ours literally comes to us. Her backstory really starts with Heidi being mistreated in her human life...a common theme Smeyer has. It can get old- i wont lie but when i give it some thought it kind of makes sense. Rosalie said it herself in eclipse, if any one of them had their happy ending, they’d be six feet under but i’d love a little bit more creativity. I could go on about how male vampires ended up being changed in comparison to female vampires but i’ll swiftly move on because that’s a whole other thing alone. Heidi was changed out of pity. (Which kinda infuriates me just to type, a pity change? Really? Really Hilda? we’ll see why it annoys me when i explain my take on Heidi.) Heidi was happy in her coven with Hilda, Victoria etc, which is hell yes. We love that. This is around the time she discovered her gift. Vampires were attracted to her and humans fell prey to her easily. Yup okay. I’ll take that. After a newborn vampire caused ‘too much attention’ Aro spared Heidi and Chelsea used her gift on Heidi. Nice, very nice aaaaand that’s where it stops and im left hanging. Personality time with Smeyer! Lets goooo. From what i remember and can find- she didn’t fucking have one. Apparently being pretty is enough for everyone. Which in hindsight, fair enough on a human Bella’s perspective, its literally Heidi’s gift to lure you in no matter what. She could tell you she’s a serial killer (and technically is lmao) and is about to sell your kidneys on the black market as to which you’ll be like ‘sign me the fuck up, want my liver too? Here, let me lie on the table for you. I’m down.’ without even realising what just happened. But even beyond that...Heidi has no personality traits mentioned. In New Moon she appears to be a little flirty which im all for, why the hell not? But...thats it? Thats all I get? Then we get into fanfictions, because i read them growing up. Heidi was depicted as flirtatious, promiscuous and then it varied between manipulative or she wasnt very smart. Which i’m knocking absolutely no one for. I think you can get a badass character who is incredibly dumb. I think all characters are actually valid whether they’re a genius or flat out dumb. I love them all. However it never really sat with me. I was never quite satisfied which i was fine with until i started writing for myself. That’s when i knew i’d have to really think about what my version of Heidi would be or i’d never be happy with my work. That and you also begin to fill in the blanks? The more you write the more you flesh out a character for yourself and so that rolls into my version of Heidi! So for my Heidi, she often gets the same trope of ‘she’s pretty and rich, those types of girls have easy lives who always had everything given to them.’ Then when it’s discovered she didn’t have a good human life. It turns to the next assumption of ‘oh she’s pretty and stupid enough to be used and manipulated’. In a lot of ways, that’s what Heidi wants everyone to think. Underestimate her, please, its all the easier to manipulate you if you do. She’s actually very smart and her rough human life made her more tough and intelligent. She’s very manipulative and yes she’s very flirty. You can look but you cant touch! She enjoys the attention her beauty gets her but if only these people would care more about what she’s like as a person. She’s not a barbie doll she will play you if she needs to. The only one who’s actually gotten far enough to sleep with Heidi is Demetri and even then the two don’t see each other romantically. They’re good friends who thinks the other is very attractive but that's where it ends. They’re basically friends with benefits some times lmao. However, Demetri got that far because he see’s the intellect Heidi actually has and acknowledges it. He thinks shes a queen who should be treated as such. She could take anything she wanted, a storm that people can only hope to survive in one piece. Secretly she enjoys a family setting. Whilst she never really wanted children (especially when she was expected to when human), she couldn't help but melt inside seeing little human children with their loving parents. She wants that for all children. Whether that's because she lacked such affection growing up, no one knows. She’s also a really good friend, you bet she’ll have your back. Crappy ex? Well we’ll show them, wont we (Y/N)? She’ll be a bitch and enjoy every second of it. She also loves the single life, believe it or not, you’ll have more difficulty getting Heidi to settle down than you would Demetri which speaks volumes. So yeah, move past her gift and really get to know her and you might have a very good friend. I also don’t see Heidi having a preference between male or females and that’s in all honesty. Times have changed and if she is attracted to another female then she wont be ashamed of it. She never has been (Demetri was the first to figure that out, Felix may be the last.) Even when the times weren’t approving of different sexualities, she didn't care. She will flirt with you and find it ridiculously cute if you get flustered.

Sulpicia: Sulpicia was an orphan which i used to develop my own version of her. Sulpicia grew to love Aro which im on the fence about but yup, i’ll take it. You’ll see what happens with my version in a bit lmao. and that’s where it stops. I get no personality again but do you know what we do in this fandom? We create one and fill in the blanks baby! So i write Sulpicia very materialistic and vain, she’s most snobbish of the wives and due to the other two, also considered the meaner one. She didnt have such things as a child being an orphan so when she got the opportunity to have it-she jumped. She isnt easily impressed and married Aro not for love but for immortality, money and status. (He’s only married you for your money, princess Jasmine! HE ONLY MARRIED YOU FOR YOUR MONEY! Damn it tik tok, but make it princess Aro) Which works well, because Aro doesnt necessarily love her either, he just wanted a mate so he wasnt the odd one out.He literally created her because he was like “Yup, you’ll do.” The two recognised they made a great team and image so they kinda grew to love each other? A little bit? Sure we’ll say its love...sorta. ANYWAY, It’s a highlight to Sulpicia being locked in that tower where she doesnt need to see Aro every little moment, it’s better than having a husband who she’d need to see everyday. ...Yeah my Sulpicia is something else lmao.

Athenodora: Athenodora is one of the oldest vampires in existence which kinda has me shook but I'll take it. She met Caius when he was fleeing from the Romanians, the two travelled together until they met Aro. Whilst on their nomadic travels they seemingly became mates. That's all we know about that. As to which the Volturi coven was made. Athenodora is completely loyal to Caius as well as highly dependent on him and I think that's very realistic given her circumstances. That's where their story ends...maybe for Smeyer but not for me! 😁 So I picture Caius and Athenodora being different sides of the same coin. Athenodora really mellows Caius, she is no where near is violent and sadistic as he is but due to her unwavering loyalty and dependency, she doesn't feel inclination to go against him...also because of Chelsea and Corin but I've said that so many times in this post I think we get the point. I think she's actually more gentle and soft spoken but that being said. She is very reserved and if she were to be angered she'd very much change. She could cut you down with words alone. Caius loves it. However beyond this is someone who is very maternal. Caius would appreciate it more if the two had children but instead it has created empathy. Caius doesn't want that when he can rip their head off. She struggles a little more with the 'no second chances' and that's another reason why Caius keeps her locked away and away from it. These two love each other more than words can describe. After being through so much with someone, the love can only grow. The two would happily risk their life for the other. Caius is saddened that he could never give her the family she wanted. He knows that to this day, Athenodora tries to reign in that side of her. He's a very supportive husband who's very different around his wife. He's much more tolerant, and angry. Simply more at ease. If anything happened to Athenodora, to put it simply...there would be hell to pay.

Didyme: Married to Marcus and Aro’s biological sister. Cute, me likely, keepy going. Her gift was happiness induction. VERY ADORABLE- Dont be as menacing as your brother...please. She was born several years after Aro and was changed by Aro ten and a half years after he was turned. (Dont tease me with all this lore Smeyer, I know what you’re gonna do) Aro was deeply disappointed her gift was just to make people happy- its okay Didyme, we love you. Aro is just...Aro. Her gift made many fall in love with her and its so freaking cute i CANT- but she only felt the same feelings for Marcus. MY HEART IS SO WARMMMM. Unfortunately they were so happy together that they lost interest in anything Volturi and were ready to leave. (Uh oh.) Aro, being the sneaky fellow he is, was like “I’m really happy for y’all of course you can leave. I love you my babies. My best friend and my sisterrrrrrr, I am the captain of this SHIP.” but was actually like “wait, no, no, no, not my Marcus. D-D-Did-Didyme I NEED him.” Think Sid the Sloth from ice age in the first movie when Sid really wants the baby. So this man is like...gonna have to do it to em and murder. He killed Didyme secretly (dunno how he pulled the secret part off- like i know how he did it but how did no one hear or see anything or even suspect anything IT WAS LITERAL FRIENDLY FIRE but we love the drama so continue.) Ironically enough she was very close with Aro and the two actually did love each other, Aro is just...murderous apparently, to the extent that even his sister isnt safe. And that’s it. That’s Didyme. Which im like...alright Smeyer i see you. I like this and expanded on this with my Didyme. i get the vibes that Didyme is the most innocent and kind of all the Volturi. Losing her meant losing the consciousness within the Volturi making them all the more ruthless because there was no one to say. “Guys, maybe lets rethink this? and quickly because i cant get Caius to put down the torch thats currently on fire.” Losing Didyme made Marcus mostly become passive and would rarely stop anything that happened. I often wonder if that provoked a lot of guilt for Marcus later on. (However thats a spoiler for something im currently writing...;) ) I also think of her as a major daydreamer and the most soft, gentle person anyone will ever meet. Like its difficult not to like her despite being in the Volturi, even the Romanians would have struggled if they met her. So in the long run...i hate nothing about Didyme, only find more and more love lmao.

Corin: So im going to be honest and tell you i have no idea what Corin would look like. I’ve got nothing and when i was younger i wasnt even sure if Corin was male or female. Like a lot of these names, i had never heard of the name ‘Corin’. I dont write for her as of yet because im still trying to figure her out. I think she’s quite quiet, she lets her gift do most of the work for her in keeping the wives, Chelsea and Caius when he doesnt get to go on a rampage, content. She was brought in also after Didyme died but Marcus refused her gift.That’s all i’ve got for her. Her gift is amazing, pretty underrated in my personal opinion since like Chelsea, she really helps keep the Volturi unified but other than that, I dont have much to say about her. :(

Afton: Another character i basically filled the blanks in for myself. So what we’re told is that he’s Chelsea’s mate and has the ability to disappear . Whilst thats a pretty cool trick...the volturi dont necessarily need it but they have to keep Chelsea happy and she demands that Afton stays so welcome to the family Afton! I also recently learned that if you hide behind Afton and he goes invisible infront of an opponent, you too will also be invisible. I figure that is until the opponent moves and basically changes their perspective but i could be wrong with that last part. That’s all we get so time for my unnecessary input! SO AFTON IS A TOTAL SWEETHEART. He’s very shy but polite. This is a complete opposite to his mate Chelsea. It’s actually what she liked about him. At first is was just be flirtatious to the shy vampire but when she actually got to know him... she fell hard. It was also Chelsea who had made the first move since Afton was so shy. Of course she’d never say so and Afton would never want to embarrass her so that was never really disclosed to anyone who wasn’t around at that time. She brings Afton out of his shell a lot and it wasn’t long before the two were mates. Chelsea is the light of his life. Hands down. He puts up with a lot for her and is happy to do so. She could ask anything of him and he’d do it and she doesn’t even need to use her gift. He buys are anything she wants almost instantly. He cant help but adore her passionate personality, like how hooked she can get on era’s such as the 1920′s, her love for jazz music and her ability to gush on and on about anything. The two had what the other lacked and that made them an excellent team. I love their relationship. I cant help it. However, as i said before Afton is very shy and tends to keep to himself. Sadly that, paired with Chelsea’s demand to keep him in the Volturi has left Afton a little bit outcasted. All the other permanent guards were wanted and considered important whilst Afton...not so much. Although that isn’t to say the other guards are mean to him or anything. They aren’t! (Except the twins who are...the twins.) Felix and Demetri tried to include him a lot but it was very difficult to break him out of his shell. That doesn’t mean to say they wont invite Afton when he’s around. Chelsea always appreciates their efforts. Afton is notably good friends with Santiago, who often preferred solitude as well.

(Guard to the left is who I imagine Afton is)

Chelsea: So supposedly Chelsea’s original name is Charmion? When i was younger i didnt really care much about her. I only really knew her gift and that she was the reason Afton was kept in the Volturi, since they were mates. From what im aware Chelsea basically wasnt in the movies/not identified. There wasnt much said about her in the books either. So since then i’ve kind of developed my own persona of Chelsea that could be completely inaccurate to canon but canon was my foundations with characters like these. She was always a red head in my eyes with ringlets, a copper kind of red head. I also pictured her to be small. However the newest addition to her character would have to be the mid-Atlantic accent. I blame Poppy Hill for this one. That character screamed Chelsea to me. She was very close to how i imagine Chelsea to be. So now Chelsea has an accent that i have no clue how she managed to maintain being in Italy so long and being born in Greece. LMAO. We’ll say she was very attached to that time. However, I think the time she joined the Volturi was actually very good for the story. She first came around just after Marcus had lost Didyme and Aro had her use her ability to keep Marcus in the coven. it’s really cool how she could really make or break the coven. Although, Aro was smart enough to not fully rely on her, using Corin’s ability on Chelsea to make sure she’d be happy and stay within the Volturi. Thats where the information on Chelsea really ends Over the years Chelsea has appeared in my writing and so beyond this point, Chelsea’s character is only my depiction. I figure Chelsea is a talker, like she can talk her way in and out of situations with ease. She enjoys being manipulated and even more so, being needed.Much like her gift, she gets under people’s skin- not in terms that she’s annoying but more so she can figure out people very well. Her mate is the complete opposite and so she often speaks on the behalf of them. Chelsea is very social and charismatic. She along with Heidi are the only two Volturi members who will be out and interacting with humans if necessary. Heidi for her ability but Chelsea purely for her social skills. She’s also the most interested in human culture. She loves the parties- the 1920′s being her favourite era in terms of fashion. She has no issue changing her name and has done so multiple times when the names run out of fashion.It’s like playing dress up! I’d actually love to write more about her. I’ve really grown to love her character, even if i filled in some blanks for myself. I think she and Afton’s relationship is one of the best, up there with Carlisle and Esme- despite the two being very different. It’s a part of their dynamic!

(I always imagined Chelsea to be a red head but Poppy Hill from THOHH is a very close depiction to Chelsea in my eyes)

Renata: A stressed little bean that lives on stress. I remember thinking when i was younger she was the big threat since she was Aro’s shield but now that im older i see...a stressed little five foot bean. I have no idea what she looks like but always imagine her dark hair tied in a tight bun, looking almost painful. Another who wears heels, like Heidi but she is very rigid just as she has been described. Her uncle is a bit of an ass considering he begged her to go with the Volturi so there wouldn’t be a threat. Dude, can you not just...hand over your niece? At least hesitate! Just like that, thanks to Chelsea, she’d give her life to protect Aro and...I have nothing else. Yes it does drive me mad that there are two named guards i know next to nothing about.

Santiago:So what’s known about Santiago is that he doesn’t actually have an ability. He’s just very good at battle techniques and fighting which is why he’s kept around. If they need fighters, they’re top three are Felix, Demetri and Santiago...in that order. Santiago is also much faster than a regular vampire (as shown in breaking dawn part 2- he caught up to Jacob and Renesmee quite fast despite the two having a running start and wolves supposedly being very fast- much like a vampire) That’s all we know of him so then i got in there and this is how I write Santiago. I gave him the background of coming from a superstitious family. Like he would be told tales of demons and witches growing up as well as things like voodoo. He knew an awful lot of urban legends and whilst he stopped believing in the bad luck his family taught him, he still held interest and couldn’t help the instinct of unease when witnessing such things as rituals. It’s ironic really. However Santiago always deems that humans have it all wrong. These forces are beyond human understanding and shouldn’t be played with. In that way, perhaps Santiago still has some belief in things such as superstition. He’s very secretive about it and would never clarify it for you. Santiago keeps to himself and can be quite standoffish. He can also be blunt even if it’s insulting- he doesn’t tend to care. Although he and Afton became quite good friends since the Afton was an outcast and Santiago didn’t enjoy large groups, or most people in general.

34 notes · View notes

kimjoongs · 4 years

Text

—ateez college au series [psh]

so seonghwa is a nursing major bc why not and no this isnt bc im also a nursing major or maybe it is idk shh

he wanted to become a nurse bc his mom was one, and he saw how much she adored her job

plus seonghwa is a self-less and caring person, so this was the perfect choice for him

he lives in an apartment on campus with his roommate hongjoong and it’s both a blessing and a curse

it was a blessing because his and hongjoong’s personalities matched very well, so they rarely had arguments

but it was also a curse bc joong was a music production major so he’d be producing music in his room, which normally wasn’t a problem, but on nights where seonghwa was studying for his exams, hongjoong would be in the room next door blasting music

usually all seonghwa had to do was knock on his door and ask him to keep it down, but there were nights where he would just pack up his stuff and study at the campus library instead

he often stayed for about 3-4 hours or more if he had an exam the next day

hwa really liked anatomy and phys but absolutely despised chemistry

“what the hell is the difference between polar and nonpolar? wait, why does this lewis structure only have 2 bonds? shouldn’t it have 3? ah shit i forgot an electron–”

sometimes hongjoong would come out of his room to get a glass of water only to find hwa asleep at the kitchen table with a copy of the periodic table on his head

he loves getting to wear his scrubs on lab day bc 1) scrubs are super comfortable and 2) it gets him excited thinking about the future

he also started volunteering at the nursing college in the labs

he’d help the lab ops set up the labs, refill the fluids, repack the medication, or clean up the simulation rooms

this also gave him the opportunity to get to know his future professors, and he would never admit it, but whilst he was volunteering, he would admire the older nursing students wearing the official university scrubs

it made him that much more determined to get into nursing school

during his first semester his second year, he had less of a workload compared to his first year, so he had more free time and was able to go out more

one day hongjoong asked seonghwa if he wanted to hang out with a few of his friends, and he said yes

so the two of them went out to this nearby boba cafe where hongjoong’s friends mingi, san, and wooyoung were waiting for him

you were there as well, tagging along as a mutual friend of san’s, and he introduced you to the two them

“hey hongjoong, seonghwa, this is my friend y/n! i hope it’s cool if they come along. i needed to drag them out of their room or else they’d be studying for hours on end,” san teased, knocking your head lightly w his fist

you stuck your tongue out at him then turned to shake hongjoong’s and seonghwa’s hands

when you made eye contact with the latter, his face lit up with recognition “oh wait, y/n? you’re in my pathophysiology class right?”

“oh yeah, i sit right behind you. nice to meet you, seonghwa!” you flashed him a smile, and he smile back

after everyone introduced themselves, you all found a table and ordered your drinks

mingi, san, and seonghwa sat on one side of the booth whilst you, wooyoung, and hongjoong sat on the other

you were quite surprised, and quite relieved, at how well you were fitting in and getting along with hongjoong and seonghwa…especially seonghwa

during the time that you all were together, seonghwa found out that you were a nursing major too and the two of you launched into a full blown discussion about it, unaware of the looks the others were giving you both

hongjoong had a faint smile on his face, mingi was chuckling and shaking his head, and san and wooyoung were giving each other knowing smirks

at the end of the night, seonghwa had asked you for your number in case yall wanted to study tgt, and you happily obliged

then you all said your farewells and went your separate ways

a few days pass and you don’t hear from seonghwa, which was quite understandable considering the fact that it was midterm season and you were both busy

but you were also kind of looking forward to study with him, he seemed really smart and self-disciplined which was exactly the type of study buddy you needed

but another couple days pass and lo and behold you receive a text from the one and only park seonghwa that reads: hey you wanna study tgt for the patho exam at the library today?

ofc you said yes and half an hr later, you found yourself at the library sitting right across from seonghwa

the two of you had your laptops, notebooks, and handouts spread all over the tables and were completely in the zone

after an hr or two of straight studying, you suggested taking a small break and that’s where the two of you got to talking abt nursing and why you both chose to major in it

“well my mom’s a nurse, and when i was younger she would always talk about how much she loved her job. she’s super hardworking and cares about her patients, and that’s how i want to be someday. plus as a nurse, if i could just make someone’s day just a little bit better, then that’s all that matters to me.”

needless to say, you were captivated by the raw passion and love seonghwa had for his future career, and you couldn’t help but admire him for it

after your short break, the two of you went back to studying, but this time yall would often make eye contact and send each other encouraging smiles

you found yourself slowly becoming more comfortable with seonghwa as the time passed by

and after that, the two you started having more and more study sessions, growing closer and closer

whenever an exam or quiz was coming up, you two would always be found studying tgt whether it was at his apartment or the library

and that’s when the hesi exam came in

the amount of time you guys spent studying for regular exams was nothing compared to the amount of time yall spent studying for the hesi

on the day of, you and hwa were practically freaking out

“oh my god y/n i’m so scared. what if i forget how to do the conversions? what if i forget everything i learned in anatomy? what if i forget basic grammar–”

“hwa shut up you’re making me nervous!”

basically yall are a wreck from the beginning of the exam all the way to the end, and once yall walk out of that testing room you almost collapse

anyways fast forward a few weeks later it’s almost the end of the semester and also around the time where you would be receiving your letter saying whether or not you were accepted into the program

it was a friday night and the entire gang was at your apartment having a movie night

you were looking thru your emails when you stumbled upon one from your university, and when you saw what the subject was you screamed, scaring the living daylights out of mingi who was sitting next you

“y/n what the hell–” “guys, guys my nursing school letter came in oh my god, oh my god!”

the entire room went silent for a millisecond before san let out a shriek and soon everyone was crowding around you

hongjoong gripped seonghwa’s shoulder “did you get yours yet?”

the latter’s eyes widened in realization and he also whipped out his phone, letting out a choked gasp when he saw the same email “mine came in too!”

at this point all of yall were freaking the hell out, and you and seonghwa somehow found each other’s hands and held them tightly tgt

“okay, okay, okay!” you reposition yourself on the couch so you were facing your fellow nursing major “on the count of three we open it at the same time, yeah?” all seonghwa did was nod

“alright, one…two…three!” everyone held their breath and it seemed like an eternity had passed…and then you and seonghwa jumped up from the couch

“i got in!” you yelled at the same time, which caused the others to belt out the loudest cheers you’ve ever heard

overwhelmed with excitement and pride, you threw yourself onto seonghwa and gave him the tightest hug, and he wrapped his arms around your waist, gently lifting you off the ground

when you guys separated, both your eyes widened at the lack of space btwn the two of you, and you immediately jumped away from each other

“um,” you cleared your throat “i’m…i’m really proud of you, hwa.” he gave you the softest of smiles, one that made your heart race even more than it was right now

“i’m proud of you too, y/n.”

aaaand fast forward again to the beginning of the next semester! you and seonghwa were officially in the clinical portion of the nursing program which meant you two were now able to wear the university’s official nursing scrubs seonghwa probably cried a little when he first tried his on

and since yall were in the program tgt, you saw each other more frequently, even more compared to the previous semester

which certainly didnt help alleviate the strong emotions you were feeling ever since the two of you shared that small, intimate moment just a couple months prior

before you didnt use to feel anything when you hung out with seonghwa, but now just thinking abt him was enough to get you all giddy and nervous at the same time

it had reached a point where you couldnt take it anymore, so you decided to seek help from the one person who knew seonghwa best: his best friend and roommate, hongjoong

when you met up with him and poured out what it was you were feeling, hongjoong sent you a fond, knowing smile “y/n…you like him. romantically, i mean.”

you gaped “i…what?”

“you, y/n, have romantic feelings for my best friend, seonghwa.”

“i..i like him? i don’t…i don’t have–” you froze upon seeing the way hongjoong raised his eyebrows at you

“i…i like…i like seonghwa,” you finally breathed out. hongjoong’s gaze softened and he chuckled “took you long enough…now if only seonghwa could stop being a coward and just ask you out already,” he mumbled the second part under his breath

not knowing what to do with the information you had just uncovered abt yourself, you thought it’d a good idea (read: it was the stupidest idea) to distance yourself from seonghwa for a bit, just long enough for you to process the thoughts racing thru your mind

you were unaware, however, of how you distancing yourself might look like from seonghwa’s pov

he’s noticed you not hanging out with him as much anymore outside of class, and during class whenever he’d try to talk to you, you’d just scurry over to the other side of the room

he started getting worried and, ironically, he went to hongjoong for advice

upon hearing what’s been going on, hongjoong sighed loudly and slammed his hands down on the counter

“okay, initially i wasn’t going to say anything because i wanted the two of you to find out on your own, but obviously that isn’t going to happen so i’m just going to say it. y/n’s avoiding you because they realized they’ve fallen head over heels in love with you and don’t know how to react. so hwa, please be a nice guy and help them figure it out if you catch my drift.”

at that, hongjoong walked out and into his room, leaving an open-mouthed seonghwa frozen in the kitchen, he was at a loss for words

he knew hongjoong knew abt his feelings for you, but he didn’t think you’d feel the same

after contemplating whether or not what he was abt to do was a good idea or not, seonghwa simply said “screw it” and dashed out the door, heading straight for your apartment

once he arrived, he knocked rapidly on your front door

you had barely opened the door when seonghwa practically slid right in

“seonghwa? what are you doing he–”

“y/n, i’m sorry for just barging in but i need to ask you something really important and i want you to be completely honest.”

you gasped softly at the way he was looking at you, it was so intense and so serious you’ve never seen him like that before

“uh, okay? what’s going on?” you asked nervously

“do you have feelings for me?”

you choked “w-what?!”

“i talked to hongjoong and asked him for advice bc you’ve been avoiding me the past few days, and he said it’s bc you like me. is that true?”

you didn’t know what to say, the familiar warm feeling in your stomach came back and you found it difficult to maintain eye contact with seonghwa

a few seconds of silence passed, and you could see seonghwa’s serious gaze slowly start to crumble and all of a sudden you panicked

“yes! y-yes…it’s true. i do have feelings for you,” your voice trailed off at the end, but you knew he heard you when he saw him stiffen up

he let out a shaky breath “how long?”

“huh?”

“how long have you liked me, y/n?” he asked more firmly

“u-um, i’m not sure? i honestly didn’t start noticing i felt like this until about two months ago when we found we got accepted. although, the more i think about it, i’ve been attracted to you since our first study session together. the way you talked so passionately about your future and how dedicated you were into making it come true made me feel something, and what you said was really inspiring to me and i just–”

your sentence was interrupted by a pair of lips connecting with your own, and it took a second for you to realize that…seonghwa was kissing you

oh my god…oh my god seonghwa was kissing you

once you finally registered what was happening, he pulled away from you, eyes wide and cheeks flushed

“oh..oh shit, y/n i’m so sorry! i didn’t mean to–i should’ve asked for your permission first. i’m so so sorry!”

seonghwa tried to take a step back, but you grabbed his wrist before he could

“y-y/n?” he stared at you

you couldn’t wait anymore. not after that.

“please, do that again.”

now it was seonghwa’s turn to choke on his breath “h-huh?”

you tightened your grip on his wrist “seonghwa, this is me giving you permission. kiss me again.”

and he did

unlike the first kiss, this one was much longer and more heartfelt. you felt his arms snake around your waist, tugging you closer and closer

you could feel the way your cheeks were heating up, but at the moment you didn’t care, wanting this moment to last forever

but unfortunately, all good things must come to an end

“hey y/n, who was at the doo–holy shit!” at the sight of you and seonghwa, mingi let out the loudest screech, causing the two of you to jump away from each other

“oh fuck i forgot san and mingi were here,” you cursed under your breath. seonghwa stood next to you, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck

mingi still remained where he was in the hallway, mouth wide open in shock before he recollected himself “ohoho my god, san! text wooyoung and tell him he owes me dinner!” and with that, mingi took off running down the hall and into one of the rooms

and once again you were left alone w seonghwa

for the longest time, the two of you just stood there, refusing to speak nor look at each other

the room was so silent you could practically hear both of your hearts racing

“so uh…does this mean you and i are…?” seonghwa asked sheepishly, taking a small step towards you

you glanced up at him and couldn’t help but giggle at the hopeful look on his face

you turned towards him and flashed him the brightest grin “yeah, we are.”

the smile that appeared on seonghwa’s face at that moment was enough to take your breath away, and you had to physically restrain yourself from kissing him again

instead you opted for taking his hand in yours and entwining your fingers tgt

now that you and seonghwa were officially dating, it made studying that much more fun

when you guys started doing your clinicals, it became hard for yall to see each other, but it made your time tgt much more special when you did have time

seonghwa is a very touchy and cuddly person, so whenever there’s a short break in btwn lab or lecture, he’ll either be sitting next to you with his head on your shoulder or his arm around your shoulder and your head on his chest

the other nursing students (and sometimes the professors) would scream at how cute yall were

and bro if you thought seonghwa was your biggest motivator before you started dating, then he’s even bigger motivator now

when he quizzes you, he’ll always give you a kiss on the cheek if you answer a question correctly, or when you come back from a particularly rough shift he’ll be there to hold you and tell you that you did your best

oh yeah and to cheer you up he’ll say a bunch of anatomy jokes

“hey y/n, i aorta tell you how much i love you”

“oh god, hwa don’t even start.”

“oh c’mon, quit ovary-acting.”

“park seonghwa”

“you’re going tibia okay”

“i’m breaking up with you”

#ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez au #ateez headcanons #ateez fluff #seonghwa #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa au #seonghwa headcanons #seonghwa fluff #college au series

269 notes · View notes