#it would be nice if it was just left up to interpretation ig i could construct different traumatic deaths for each hawke

[atlasofthestaars]

comfort in you

summary: “In the end, all there is left is silence and it is often a comfort to the weary soul.”

it’s been a long day, sometimes all you need is just someone to lean on.

includes: johnny cage, liu kang, tomas, and raiden

note: haha whoopeedoo my brain got a lil sad so I wanted to type a comfort fic as a lil self indulgent thing until I got happier so here u go. you can interpret as close friends or romantic, but it might seem a tad bit more romantic bc it’s just a lot of cuddling ig?? <3 I’ll probably only make a sequel to this if I get sad again.

JOHNNY CAGE

“Long day?” 

The only thing that left your lips was a despondent sigh. You looked over to Johnny who looked at you with a sympathetic look. It was the look of a man who understood all too well what burnout looked like. He was sitting on the most comfortable looking couch, arms and legs spread to take up the space and enjoy all the luxury for himself. And yet, when he saw the absolutely exhausted look on your face, he scooted over to make space in that haven. The actor’s hand patted the spot next to him.

“C’mere.” Johnny said, beckoning you over with a tilt of his head. A soft smile pulled at his lips. You could not resist the siren call of his offer, not that you would even if you were not as downcast. You trudged over, your spirits weighing you down. It was like a heavy weight was chained to your leg causing you to drag your feet despite how much you wanted to just sit down and relax. The seconds that it took for you to make your way to him felt stretched into an eternity. When you finally made your way to his side, you practically collapsed onto the couch and consequently, Johnny.

You curled up all too naturally into the actor’s side. Your body greedily leaned into him, trying to absorb the comfort and warmth he seemed to naturally radiate. His arm, which had been languidly hanging off the back of the couch before you came into the room, smoothly curled around your shoulders. Johnny pulled you close, tucking your head into his chest. His chin propped up onto your head.

It felt like he was shielding you away from the world which had brought you down. If you weren’t so down, he would make a quip on how this was just like the movies he starred in. But he didn’t. Instead, he wrapped his other arm around your waist. Your eyes closed, focusing on the calming sound of his heart beating.

It was steady. It was nice.

You felt like you were sinking into him, heavy with the burden of the day. Despite how you completely sunk your weight into him, Johnny didn’t complain. If anything, it seemed like he encouraged it. His hand squeezed your shoulder as if to say “It’s okay, I’m here.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Johnny asked. Gone was the pronounced way he would speak, just the way he would speak to his audience. Instead, his voice was replaced with something softer and gentler. Something just for you, and no one else. You shook your head, your nose brushing against his chest. You inhaled, and you could smell the cologne he wore. 

It was sandalwood. Not the synthetic, obnoxious scent. Instead, it was the more expensive and genuine kind. It was slightly sweet, a little spicy, and musky but overall it was woody. But most of all, it smelt of comfort. It smelt like him.

Now you understood why people enjoyed that scent so much. Or maybe, you just liked how it smelt because it was what he always wore.

“That’s okay.” Johnny murmured, his arm around your shoulders pulling you closer again. In return, your arms draped lazily around his waist. “We can just sit here and just relax.” Your hands gripped at the shirt he wore, silently telling him that you would be holding him to his words. “We can sit here for as long as you want, okay?”

And you were okay with that.

LIU KANG

“Is something on your mind?”

You turned away from the railing to the fire god. Sometimes, the surroundings around you would make you feel better. Yet, it seems that not even the beautiful sights around the fire temple could provide you such a simple luxury such as comfort. You were so gloomy that you could not even attempt a weak imitation of a smile.

Not that you could fool a god, anyways.

A furrowed brow along with a concerned pout on his lips was upon Liu Kang’s face. His eyes which glowed like the stars searched your face which screamed of exhaustion. You opened your mouth to respond, but you found you could only sigh instead, shoulders slumping forward at the idea of mustering a response to properly explain yourself.

“Come here.” Liu Kang invited. The concern wiped from his face after he had properly assessed the situation. What remained in its place was a gentle smile that felt reminiscent of a gentle flame in how warm it looked. His arms were spread wide, open and inviting for you to fall into. Though each step you took towards him felt like a lifetime each, the god’s patience never wavered. He nodded encouragingly, silent praises sent your way for putting in the effort for making your way over to him.

You fell into his arms, nearly stumbling from how you completely let yourself go as soon as you were within his range. Immediately, Liu Kang’s arms wrapped around your frame, keeping you steady. It was like a silent promise that he was here, and that he would not let you falter under his watch. You trembled for a moment, trying to force an explanation to fall out of your lips. You should explain yourself to a god, shouldn’t you?

“It’s okay.” Liu Kang murmured, pulling you closer into his arms. His voice was a whisper, so gentle as to not break the fragile moment that the two of you had at the moment. “There is no need to explain, I understand.” His words dripped with empathy, the total understanding of one who has also experienced the weariest of days and how they can feel like a burden on the soul.

Your heart squeezed at the tone, feeling compassion in how the god could understand the plight of everyday life. He understood you, he really understood you.

The comfort he oozed seeped into you. Greedily, you clutched tightly at his shirt, pretending that somehow pulling yourself closer would help. You took in a deep breath as you closed your eyes. Suddenly, the smell of incense and oolong tea surrounded you. You’ve never noticed the smell before, probably because of how faint it was, but now all you could do was feel comfort at it.

“I shall be here for as long as you need.” Liu Kang spoke again. His voice carried along with it an unspoken promise, telling you that he was here for you whenever you wished and more importantly, whenever you needed. “Is that alright with you?”

And then all was right.

TOMAS

“Hey, are you okay?” 

Hearing the door open, you looked over to see Tomas look at you. Concern was painted upon his features. Even with his mask, he was very easy to read. His eyes were just that expressive. But now that it was off, you could see the entirety of his worry for you. Furrowed brows, lips which pursed upon seeing you before letting out a sigh.

Here you were, in a dark and silent room, staring into the abyss that was the ceiling when it was shrouded in the darkness. Your clothes were creased from the way you had been slumped over the couch in such an awkward position, not finding the energy to find a more comfortable position than the one you had just been practically sitting catatonic in.

You could only stare, not knowing what to even say to the man to explain the situation. The excuses you felt like you could muster up felt pathetic and weak. His eyes searched yours. Then, he turned and shut the door quietly. He strode over, his pace quick, but his steps light to not disturb you. He appeared by your side, sitting carefully next to you, his eyes still watching you like he would with one of his targets. Though he scrutinized you, it was not in a cold way.

Tomas’ eyes were full of so much warmth.

“Here.” He said gently, his hands pulling you slowly towards him. It was slow so you could back out if you didn’t want this, and you knew this. But you let it happen, sinking into his embrace. He was warm and felt like a perfect pillow. You leaned all your weight into him, finding it all too easy to do so. As soon as you were settled, his arms wrapped gently around you.

Your arms snaked around his waist, pulling yourself closer to him. Your eyes closed, fully enveloping yourself in the darkness that already pervaded your room. Despite it being the same darkness, sharing it with the man who held you, it didn’t feel quite as bad as it did before. It felt almost…nice, actually. It felt like a warm, fluffy blanket being wrapped around you instead of a wet towel.

You buried your face into his chest, finding this to be almost natural. Perhaps Tomas should be a professional cuddler instead, you had a feeling he would be quite successful. You took in a breath, and you caught the scent of fresh linen. It was a scent that you weren’t quite expecting, but it felt like it matched him regardless.

It felt like coming home to a house where you could just relax and be rid of any worries that daily life brought. Tomas in general felt like home, actually.

“Are you comfortable?” Tomas murmured as he propped his chin upon your head. As he felt you nod weakly, he rubbed your back with small tender circles. “Good, because we’ll be here for as long as you need. I’ll be here for you.” He paused, before speaking once more. “Does that sound fine?”

And indeed, it did.

RAIDEN

“Are you alright?”

Tonight, you were sitting under a sea of stars. The view was simply perfect, breathtaking even. But with the low energy you had, all you could get from the experience was just how cold you were, and how awfully lonely it was out here.

The grass rustled softly as Raiden carefully took a seat beside you. He sat close, your shoulders brushing together. Eyes that shone even brighter than the stars tonight gazed upon you and saw how your shoulders slumped forward. They saw how your eyes seemed to be just a tad duller, and how your face was the very definition of exhaustion. 

“I’m sorry if I’m intruding but...” Raiden said, his voice alone pulling you to him. You couldn’t help it, seeing the kind and inviting smile that was perfectly set upon his lips. Seeing the way you gravitated towards him already, he carefully wrapped an arm around you. Once he saw how you accepted his embrace and even leaned your head into his chest, he brought the other arm around you, transforming the hold into a full hug.

You melted into his arms, not realizing just how badly you had needed this type of comfort. Your arms wrapped around him, trying to bring him closer to you. No complaints were made from your clingy actions. Instead, you were rewarded with the very thing you longed for. Fingers tapped upon your back rhythmically, lulling you to close your eyes.

You basked in the feeling of belonging. With a deep breath in, you caught the scent of apple blossom. It was floral, punctuated just very lightly with that apple scent to provide a sense of freshness. It was sweet, very befitting of the man who held you in his arms during this chilly night. It was like a perfect and clear spring day. You took in another breath, leaning more into him. Yeah, it fit him quite nicely.

“You seemed tired today.” Raiden confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. His voice felt full of the care he held for you, so full that it felt like any more would lead to it overflowing. You didn’t quite mind the idea of that though. Knowing someone cared for you, especially someone like Raiden brought a special type of comfort that was hard to replicate. His tapping along your back paused. “I was worried for you…I’m glad I went and checked on you.” He said, the words filling the quiet night air.

You grasped at his shirt, quietly telling him that you were also glad to have him by your side. At your silent response Raiden resumed the gentle taps once more. 

“We can sit out here for as long as you want.” Raiden offered, through the tone in his voice you could practically envision the soft smile that must be playing along his lips. He shifted so you were more comfortable within his arms. “It’s a beautiful night, and I don’t mind staying up if it’s to help you out. Really, I mean it.”

You knew he meant it, and nothing could bring you more comfort than that.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

@doomsayings I had to make a separate post bc I have too much to say for a reply lmao. But I’M OBSESSED!! I literally only started Housewives to humor a friend but then it got me like immediately lol. I’m not current on either tbh tho. Housewives I’m on season… four? The one where Carlton and Joyce joined. And VPR I’m on season two. I’m trying to watch to keep up with both so that they’re like around the same time ish for any crossover content.

General thoughts, I’m in loooove with Lisa Vanderpump. She’s so sexy 😭😭😭 and she seems like the most genuine and normal of them? Hate that they’re all turning on her rn where I’m at in the season. Like leave her alone!!! She hasn’t done anything wrong ever.

Season one was really funny with the insane Kyle and Camille drama. Probably the only time Kyle has ever been justified imo sjdhdd. It was really cool how Camille turned around and became the least dramaful person over the subsequent seasons tho. Like she ended up leaving the show but Good For Her. It sounds like she had some like capital T Therapy and became way more mature and mellow.

Kyle was fun in like season one? But she’s been kind of pearl clutchy and annoying since idk. It’s good drama ig. But I’m neutral on her. I liked her relationship with Lisa a lot though rip it made a lot of sense why Lisa wanted to step back. And it’s been really funny how Kyle’s legit just acting like a jealous ex over it and being like “but why don’t you love me anymore :C” I was very 👀👀 when they kissed in Paris as a “joke” tho.

Adrienne seemed really chill and level headed at first at least next to the others and then got bizarrely touchy by the end. I love drama but hers seemed really petty all the time, so I was glad she left the show. Also she like transparently absolutely LOATHED her husband from the first episode, so I’m surprised it took her that long to get divorced.

Also past season but the Taylor thing was scary!!! It was insane seeing the “woman yelling at cat” meme in context and it’s like in the middle of her mental breakdown due to her abusive af husband.

I used to like Brandi a lot but she’s spiraled pretty bad? Like on intro she seemed genuinely really nice and just vaguely without a filter (same) and everyone was ganging up on her for objectively really minor things or interpreting her in bad faith all the time. But idk she got genuinely super racist with Joyce. And now she’s being mean to Lisa 💔

Carlton’s fun but insane. Love her weird goth house and how she and her husband are both clearly sleeping with the nanny. Also just all the very gay moments with Brandi and it’s hilarious how much she seems to hate Kyle for no reason?? Kyle could just be like “hi” and she’s like WHY WOULD YOU EVER SAY SOMETHING SO PASSIVE AGRESSIVE?? I’m sad to see her go but also shdhdfd she is just kind of crazy.

Joyce is meh. She’s just kind of boring. But very pretty. I am happy to stare at her. I know she doesn’t last past the one season either.

Yolanda seems deranged in her personal life but the most solid and reasonable in like the friend dynamic and when drama goes down. It’s really insane though how she’ll just say something completely crazy in passing and then gloss over it shdgd I think she also leaves soon? But she’s fun.

Kim’s also eh. She has soooo many issues but she handles them kind of annoyingly. Her life story is so fucked up and interesting though.

Re: VPR Stassi is probably my fave, she’s so messy 😭😭😭 That entire friend group is just awful! The way they have zero boundaries lmao. It’s like sitcom levels where they’re just together all the damn time. It also makes me feel better about adulthood lmao like these people act like insane teenagers!

Stassi is probs my fave. Love her mean girl energy. Scheana is vapid but probably like… the most solid friend? All the others are such assholes lmao. They never show up for each other!

I’m also not like there yet obvs but I have heard of Scandoval. So rn being at the point where Sandoval and Kristen break up (probably for good?) and the initial #vibes with Ariana, loosely knowing how it goes, is insaaaaane.

I also love every time there’s Housewives crossover, and they’re catering a party or something and are like “what the fuck is wrong with these rich people” shdhff like yeah.

So I’m having a great time! I love Mess!

[ponkersworld]

Bit of a long post coming up, heads up. Needed somewhere to write this all down and Tumblr is my new diary now ig.

I came out as trans pretty recently, about a month ago to my friends, just under a week ago to my parents. It's all gone even better than I'd hoped, my friends are ecstatic, my parents are supportive but hesitant, my doctor has been incredibly good about it and is referring me to a trans-healthcare trained GP to start treatment in a few weeks (standard practice in my country). It really is everything I ever wanted, and aside from a small loan of a million dollars to help pay for all the new clothes I want/need, there really isn't anything else I could ask for. I should be the happiest I've been in years, and I am!

Kinda.

Because none of it feels...real? It's very hard to put into words, but after spending the last 3 days on the couch when I should be living life ✨to the fullest✨ I reckoned I should at least try.

To start with, the MASS of fear, anxiety, and shame that had been conveniently compartmentalized when I was closeted is now making itself VERY well known. My parents taking the time on multiple occasions to voice their (admittedly very reasonable) worries around my transition haven't exactly been helpful either, and without a more experienced trans person to give them the answers I can't really reassure them in the way they need. The most prominent one, of course, is "how do you know you won't regret this a few years down the line?"

And I have no answer for them.

Because I'm really not 100% sure that I won't. I mean, 4 years ago I dismissed these feelings as a fantasy, or a fetish, and was so sure that nothing would ever come of it. And sure, looking back I can see the flaws in my reasoning and the denial and shame that shaped that perspective, but how can I know that my thoughts right now aren't equally flawed? How do I know I won't be looking back in 4 years and cursing myself for being so impulsive?

It's very strange, making decisions for a future version of yourself that seems so far off. Will she view me with kindness, with understanding and compassion? Will she even be the same person? One of the videos most instrumental to cracking my egg was Philosophy Tube's coming-out video, in which she asks the question: if our identity and our choices are shaped by our memories and our experiences, and our interpretation of those memories change over time, are you still the same person? If I've been living two lives this whole time, and I can finally choose to just live one, what's going to get left behind?

My gender is abnormal, there's no doubt about that. I've been thinking about it for years, dressing like a woman and being called by female language makes me feel good, so end of story right? But I don't...*feel* like a woman. Not in a 'born in the wrong body' way, not in a 'gender is a social construct' way, not even in a postmodern 'all the world's a stage' way. And maybe, hopefully, that'll change over time. But for now it feels like I'm just...pretending. Like I'm going to say the wrong thing, or do the wrong gesture, and everyone will point me out for the 'fake trans' that I am. And it feels like I can't take these feelings to my parents or my doctor, because what if they decide I'm not trans anymore, and that stops the process of transition? I guess that worry means that I really do want to transition?? Aaaaaaaaa it's so confusing.

Anyway, thanks for reading this brain dump. If you've got any advice or just nice words I'd appreciate them in the replys or reblogs.

Trans fuckin' rights girls ✨🏳️‍⚧️✨

[knightcoree]

(H, sorry this is late to send- *smol inhale* I can say for sure that you are a good roleplayer, use the icons well and I like your interpretation of the characters and rp style, it is also enjoyable to rp with you. You are worthy and deserve to have many asks. If it is okay, I can give your Rp Blogs a promo and share them to fams too. I’d still rp with you regardless of the possibility of interacting with more characters from that fandom, same about keeping up with all rps if there are more than one or two. As for Discord, I’m not quite sure if it’d be alright to send you a friend request nor if you’d be comfortable with that, but as long as it is possible and okay with you, I can send you the friend request and join the server. I might rarely talk and/or appear randomly, though I’m always up to rp and try to send short responses too when wanted. I wish you the best and hope you will feel better soon. I, also hope this could be expressed well- ;;=w= /g /lh *comfort hug shall be given if alright*)

I'm not supposed to be here. I promised I would stay away for the whole week but I see your ask and. Okay. Thanks. Just a warning if I invite you. You should know I only rp helluva boss/hazbin lately. Idk. Just been into that lately. Send me the friend request. And I can send the link. Its a very private server w just close friends but if you were nice enough to message me like this, you seem chill ig. Sure. My discord was already posted. Look in the post before this one. I'm gone again. If you guys need to speak next time. Try discord okay. I'm not supposed to be here. I'm still on break. Turning off asks now. Do discord. Don't be shy to message me there

Also, don't post the promo rn while I'm on hiatus. Wait til I decide what I'm doing. Give me like maybe a week. Or more. Idk I'm enjoying discord a lot more rn . It's calmer and more fun there. I feel calmer and less stressed out. And less pressured into things there. It's a blast. And less scary ig cuz it's just friends. Friends ik who don't care about if I mess up or don't rp to there liking. I can just let loose there. Be myself. And both sides have fun there. No ones left out cuz they don't rp a muse "properly" according to there canon. Everyone can just rp freely to there hearts content. How i wish tumblr was that chill.

If I do return. Which. So far. I don't see wanting to. I may narrow down to 1 blog. And a muse I'm better at. And maybe a different fandom too. Idk. And I won't be here as often. It's just. So much nicer on discord

-mun jax

[angelvyxen]

Do you believe the stuff with the igotnfts girl?

[Long post ahead + this will be a post & delete]

Let me preface this by saying, no hate to this girl. To me, she seems very young. More likely than not she’s some young fan girl that likes the attention.

Now, that girl is playing y’all like spades, and (some of) y’all are eating it this shit up. All of her posts proving that she’s the side chick, don’t prove anything.

1. The text messages are seedy for 2 reasons:

A. Melo types in all lowercase letters, apart from when he’s yelling. Look through his Instagram & Twitter, he has his phone set to disable uppercase because even his ‘i’’s don’t get corrected to capital I’s. So off rip, the texts don’t make sense because why would he specifically go out of his way to use proper capitalization when ‘speaking’ to her? Further than that, why would he send texts, especially informal ones, with proper capitalization when for years he’s only typed in all lowercase across all other platforms?

B. Everything is scratched out, potential dates included. If she wants recognition as the side chick so bad, why cross out things that could help you link yourself to him? If you’re in Charlotte, show that he texted you on dates where he was also in the city.

Also, I have a STRONG feeling those crossed out messages are her asking a friend to fake a text to her so she can screenshot it. It’s not hard to fake a text, hell you can even text YOURSELF and delete what you don’t need. That’s what I do when I need to make a text thread when writing a story. It’s not far fetched to ask someone “hey text me this real quick”

2. The infamous Twitter recognition doesn’t mean that he knows her. He said (I’m paraphrasing here because the tweet is since deleted) “You’re only following 6 people and I’m one of them, I thought we were supposed to be buddies.” He’s not confirming that he knows this girl in any way. If he had said ‘I thought we were supposed to be buddies’ and left it at that, then you can start to question, but the fact that he emphasized that he was one of the 6 people she followed should tell y’all enough to know he meant “You don’t like me but you’re watching my every move?” He just said it in a nice/goofy way. The only reason you all think it was in good faith is because he used laughing emojis.

If something along the lines of “I thought we were cool” was said, then that would confirm at the very least, that they’ve had some kind of conversation.

3. Her posting flowers doesn’t mean they’re from Melo. There was no card with a message that we could interpret to be him. Hell, those might not even be her flowers, for all we know they could be a picture of flowers she took at somebodies funeral and had saved up. Now, if Ana had posted the same flowers, then maybe, maybe you could speculate. But even then that’s not much to grasp onto because again, most flower bouquets aren’t hard to find. Unless it’s one of those extravagant ones.

4. Her posting a picture of the Charlotte, don’t mean she in Charlotte. And before you all say “But the reverse imagine search—” reverse image searches don’t find anything if you take a screenshot from someone else’s Snapchat or Instagram story, it’s not difficult to find Charlotte natives on IG and take a picture from their page or story and pass it off as your own…which is what I’m assuming she did.

I tested it out. I took a screenshot from someone else’s snap, slapped it in reverse image search and surprise, surprise,

Nothing 😱! And I did this with MULTIPLE.

Now even if that’s her picture and she is in Charlotte, from what I’ve gathered, she don’t know this man & she’s certainly not here for him. I believe she said that she was in the city (allegedly) anyways for her family members birthday, so if the pictures she posted are indeed hers, then that’s why she’s here.

Last things last, don’t believe anything until there is concrete proof. I could take a video in Melos garage this weekend, post it, and say some cryptic shit that’s more believable, and would be in the blogs by the next morning. So somebody posting a couple pictures don’t mean anything.

Unless somebody shows a video of them together, a FaceTime screenRECORDING, or a screenRECORDING of texts with a voice note from him, or some kind of solid evidence that it is him, then these folks are lying to y’all. Enjoy your weekend. 🫠

[thejudgingtrash]

Annabeth is a good person,but not a nice or pleasant one,IMO.

YES.

That’s it. That’s the post. Pack it up everybody, we just cracked the case and cleared up one of the most compelling fights in the PJO fandom since forever. Good job everybody, clap it out and there’s the door! Don’t forget ordering the drinks at Starbucks, Mitch! They’re on me!

Okay, but on a more serious note: YES. YES EXACTLY.

And before some of you roll your eyes or grab your pitchforks – put your biases aside and hear me out for once. I like Annabeth. She’s my in my top three characters only second to Percy himself. I love Percabeth. It’s my favorite ship in the entire series and to be frank, the only ship that I care about PJO wise. Hell, I spend my time creating my own headcanons or writing my own fanfics with Percabeth being the star in them.

But that is not to say that I’m unable to see how certain things have developed over the years or where they stand now in regard to Annabeth. I’m not here to ignore things that have been said and/or done due to or in the name of Annabeth and I’m not here to vilify anyone that doesn’t like her. And I’m here to admit that I’m guilty of some of the things that may be addressed in this meta essay that you will read in just a second. However, I try my best to assure you, that I’m for once able to recognize my own bias.

Warning: a monster essay lies right upon you.

This should count as a paper of its own.

Back to the statement on top: I would go out even further to reframe your claim, anon:

Annabeth Chase is a good character but not a nice or pleasant person.

Annabeth is a wonderful character but she isn’t a nice one. Or at least not nice to everyone. She is (construction wise if I dare say) the best character out of the series. She has her positive traits (she’s caring, she’s emotional, she’s encouraged and volunteers, she fights for what she believes in, she forgives (even if doing so begrudgingly)) but she also has her negative traits (she’s stubborn, she’s brash, changing her mind takes forever, she is prejudiced, she baits others). That balances things out. She is branded as the intelligent kid but does irrational things (like I’ve just said a) she’s a kid and b) she’s not a robot). She should probably know better, but we all make mistakes and hopefully grow and learn from them. The clouds in the sky do blur and cover our visions sometimes.

Annabeth had clashes with other characters or was about to have fights due to her stubbornness or jealousy (Rachel, Reyna, etc.) and has of course her problems with the mortal world and her family but she also found new friends, some things cleared up throughout the narration and she was/is quite popular in Camp Half-Blood.

The thing is: she doesn’t have to be nice or pleasant (as a character). Or at least not all the time. Her character is humanized. That is what or who she is. Human. She does stand out as a character, not just because she’s the (future) love interest. She feels like someone you could meet in real life and either adore from the top to the bottom or declare as your biggest enemy. And that’s totally okay if you lean either way – liking or disliking her. Or even feeling indifferent about her. Also great!

To say that she has been the best character that Riordan has crafted is easy to say, because she has been sculpted after Riordan’s wife. He had a model he could rub some of real-life events or traits on. That’s not the problem. The problem truly doesn’t lie on Riordan’s side for the most part for once.

The problem is inherently on the fandom’s side. What the fandom does, how it acts and how it treats Annabeth as a character is the problem. The problems vary but it’s mostly the mischaracterization of Annabeth, starting fights and fan/ship wars, internalized misogyny (in some cases) and how some of the Annabeth stans lash out (ha, got firsthand experience in that field among many of my friends and mutuals!). There is a reason why many people are wary of people that have Annabeth or Percabeth related URLs.

The fact that we see Annabeth mostly through Percy’s lens and (until the Heroes of Olympus saga hits) we never really see her in chill everyday situations is essentially Riordan leaving the back door of the house open, ready for all of you asshats to rob his mansion in Boston. Because a frame on a character means that we don’t get to see the character in its entirety (unlike we do with Percy in PJO for the most part). That means a bunch of stuff is left open for interpretation which is the reason why Annabeth gets so many polarized headcanon and opinions tossed around. I think that is one of the true appeals of Annabeth. You can add on stuff and it necessarily doesn’t have to contradict itself.

We have people calling her abusive due to a (n admittedly stupid and unnecessary) judo flip and we have people that act like she’s never done anything wrong. People sorta use this excuse to form and shape Annabeth however they want and distort her characterization.

People in the fandom act like Annabeth is some weird prized possession. We perceive Annabeth mostly through the eyes of others (Percy, Apollo, etc.) and when we had some sort of insight in her ways (MOA, HOH) it felt… weird? Somewhat? Like Riordan left two bullet points of her characterization and told the ghostwriter: aight, fuck it up, gringo, see you on Tuesday and greet Fred the next time you see him for me. 

There have been many posts lately (by Tharini, Simi, Sawasawako, Jewishpercy and Annie I believe?) that HOO Percabeth felt weird. That they felt weirdly constructed, that there was no conflict, no growth. It felt stagnating, like we’re turning back. We had five books prior where we had Annabeth and Percy slowly shifting from disliking to liking and crushing each other. True development. And when we finally got the cake it felt… dissatisfying. Like the cheap box stuff and not the delicious exquisite taste that we were promised.

I said it previously in my Percabeth ship roast, but let me repeat myself: many Percabeth related things are straight up fanon. Some of it is very old fanon so that’s been unable to distinguish unless you’ve read the books recently and subtract nearly 99,9% of things you see on Tumblr (and occasionally the other shitty parts of the fandom like Reddit, IG, Twitter. Although they mostly steal and recycle tumblr stuff oh well. But back to the topic).

The way people treat Annabeth is so strange. She’s either an innocent fluffy smush baby that’s never harmed a fly and all that she wants for Christmas is being Percy’s lapdog or she’s the devil incarnate, broke into your house, killed your parents Batman style, kicked your puppy and didn’t flush the toilet on the way out. I think this is what mostly makes people hate her or the ship Percabeth. And both extremes are wrong and right at the same time? She is multifaceted so both stereotypes are true and untrue and sorta cancel each other out in the same way.

The true reason why people dislike Annabeth is because the stans are doing the most. (The haters as well, don’t get me wrong, but oh boy. Piss of a stan and you’ll know what I mean). That isn’t inherently new. Are you guys old enough to remember the ship wars that have happened cross platform? Perachel vs. Percabeth? Oh boy, oh boy. I saw some kids on tumblr a few months ago trying to infiltrate both tags and start shit (and also fail). The fact that Rachel still gets used as the bitchy (ex) girlfriend in fanfics? It’s 2020 guys. I know this apocalyptic year is far from perfect and over but I think we can let this trope die, right? Right? I thought we’ve established that Rachel is a pretty chill charcter by now… right?

If you posted your stuff on FFN back in 2010-2013 and it wasn’t the typical cutesy Percabeth story (Goode High, the gods read TLT, punk/prep Percabeth, college AU, etc.) people would’ve come for your fucking throat. Not because the story or the narration was shit. But because the pairing wasn’t Annabeth and Percy (in the sense that Annabeth had to be paired with Percy. I mean Percy gets shipped with everyone and their mother but for Annabeth it was strictly Percy. As annoying as this whole Connabeth thing is – the people behind it actually had a point. She never had a different love interest unless it’s a Percy centered story and he goes off dating Athena, Artemis and Zoe at the same time for some odd reason. Yeah, FFN Percy ships are something). Or it wasn’t the action filled canon compliant story or it wasn’t an AU that was popular.

People were really stubborn, snobbish and wanted their stuff in the four five boxes that were the most popular ones and that’s it. People have been bullied off the site in many fandoms, so it’s not a PJO-only thing but it’s still sad that it happened. (Off-note: most of these FFN tropes are still alive and well and thriving on AO3. Don’t be so snobbish and pretend that every piece you’d find there is a holy grail. There’s a lot of trash you have to waddle through. Same with Wattpad, Tumblr or anywhere else where fanfics get posted. Also had this discussion with Annabeth stans. Sigh).

And Tumblr back then? Forget it, wasn’t much better.

That view has sorta changed (at least for people that have been in the fandom for several years or have managed to find a way to navigate through it) but some of the negative sentiment from back in the day has survived. Be it by new fans coming in or from old fans that never let their stance die. The aggression feels differently and somewhat not. (I don’t know if the anon function had been abused that much back in the day. I was an observer not a participant in the fandom).

Crack a joke at Annabeth’s expense (Kal’s famous “Annabeth is a Republican” post or Dee Dee’s and many others “Annabeth has the education of a second grader, chill with the college plans, girlie” stance) and you have people insulting you, making callout posts, unfollowing and blocking you (based on only that? Okay, honey), making aggressive counter-posts, etc. in a minute. If you respond with “It’s a joke, it’s not real” you have a 50/50 chance of either getting blown off or embarrassing them so that they apologize for once.

This isn’t just about jokes. You can make a headcanon that’s not the cozy cute convenient mainstream saga and people would react the same way. Or art piece (no, not including the whole Tannabeth Blackchase shtick done by Viria and others) or fanfics.

People project so much onto the unfinished canvas that is Annabeth Chase that any form of negative sentiment as little as someone not liking her to straight up criticism, regardless of how tiny it may be, seems like an affront. Like an invitation to a fight. Like an insult to them, their character, everything they believe in. Let me state something:

You are NOT Annabeth Chase. Annabeth Chase IS NOT you. Annabeth Chase is NOT real. Her feeling cannot be hurt. Someone criticizing, disliking, joking about her or even insulting her will not bother her. Someone making a statement about her is not an insult to YOU.

Let me repeat that:

Annabeth Chase isn’t real. Annabeth Chase isn’t you.

So think a little before you act? I get it when you’re a kid and new to fandoms or haven’t been up with fan cultures in the past and are back in the scene. But if you’re in your late teens or even older as an adult and you’re unable to understand that you aren’t what you like – you aren’t the extension of a fictional character – I feel incredibly sorry for you. Because that’s just incredibly sad. Someone disliking something you like isn’t an attack of your character. It shows you that you are you and the other person is a human just like you. That they just have different taste. Disliking something you like isn’t a crime, you know? But me feeling sorry for the way some of y’all act won’t mean that that’s even remotely okay. Especially if you’re no longer in the intended audience for PJO age wise and should know better.

This isn’t a “white stans” only thing. I’ve seen and witnessed firsthand how people of color, mainly women of color, act the same or not even worse when it comes to her character. People have projected their problems and real-life occurring events into her character (I’m sure that she isn’t the only character nor that this is the only fandom where this is happening) and in some cases like I’ve said cannot separate their own personality from the fictional world. Fights with woc happened because of Annabeth fucking Chase. So many things have happened in the fandom the past few months, mostly due to people being forced staying at home because of the quarantine but I’d say it’s 10% on quarantine and 90% on people for acting up like this.

So here’s a little story: There was the act of Riordan blowing the fandom up because of his own stupidity and being unable to apologize for his mischaracterization and lack of research (the whole Piper fiasco) back in June (?) and admits the upset fandom, people on Twitter, Tumblr and Discord legit thought that none of that mattered and that the outcry was destroying Annabeth Chase’s birthday. That’s right. People thought that Annabeth Chase’s non-existing birthday because she’s a fictional character had a higher priority than the rupture and prevalent racism in the fandom. Okay. This isn’t a great look, Annabeth stans. And this of course pissed a lot of people off. I made a post about it and someone not only berated three other people on said post but no, we had a mighty argument which had disrupted many friendships in our circle which haven’t recovered until this very day. We both had our parts in it and no one is innocent. But the cause of this still remains Annabeth Chase or how people prioritize her non-existing well-being. Anyway. I’m getting agitated just thinking about it.

Let’s go back to the characterization thing with Annabeth. Let me remind you:

Annabeth Chase is an asshole. There I’ve said it in a post ages ago (too lazy to look it up, sorry) and I’ll say it again. And that’s not me insulting her. That’s me actually loving that about her. Annabeth is one of the very few unapologetic female characters that really showed all young readers across the world that you can be a girl, a badass, smart, strong, standing up for yourself and what you believe in. You don’t have to be nice. You don’t have to hide your feelings. You don’t need a man in all cases but it’s also okay to accept help and defeat.

A large reason why I think she’s an incredibly important character in children’s literature/YA because many other novels (mostly (sadly)) have the “Oh, I’m a white skinny dark-haired girl that likes unconventional things like READING. I’m not like the other girls, that take care of themselves and pamper themselves by enjoying shopping and wearing make-up. No, I’d rather be one of the boys but a sweet cute little boy and not the jock fuck that drank vodka shots out of a filthy shoe once. Despite me calling myself hideous every man in a 10-kilometer radius falls in love with me and tells me I’m oh so sexy and by the way I’m only 16 years old” shit going on for no goddamn reason.

Yes, I do blame Twilight for this mostly in recent years, but this trope isn’t by any means knew. Pretty sure that you could even use classics as Pride and Prejudice and dissect them in the same manner (Bold statement: Lizzy Bennet is the OG Bella Swan. There. Go fight somewhere in the corner, people). The new wave of YA focuses on girls belittling themselves and only starting to believe in themselves because someone else (mostly the male love interest) tells them they’re worth it. And these books hit the mainstream because they’re incredibly bland and picture perfect white.

With Annabeth it’s different. She shows up for the job and is done with it. (Brie Larson would probably be the perfect in real life version of her. You either like or dislike her. Or you really don’t care). That is what is so refreshing about her. Her unapologetic nature. Can it be off-putting? Yes. Is it annoying? Yes! Hell, every time I read The Lightning Thief, I want to rip her goddamn head off. And it’s just so well written. Her shift from mistrusting Percy but secretly still believing in him to her opening up. Wow, Riordan did something right there.

Annabeth Chase isn’t a young character. She has existed along with PJO for 15 years. She’s on her way to the second decade. I’m pretty sure that with the success of Percy Jackson (and Harry Potter) many lives have been warped and shaped.

But when I say the problem lies mostly in the fandom, it doesn’t mean that Riordan’s completely innocent. The only problem that I have with Annabeth lies not truly with her but the fact that Riordan is only able to produce three variations of female characters:

The sweetheart (Hazel, Silena, Calypso, Hestia)

The strong feminist (Annabeth, Piper, Thalia, Reyna, Artemis)

The bitch (Drew, nearly every female goddess in the goddamn Riordanverse next to every female monster)

And these female characters only know three endings:

End up married with a mortgage, three kids, two dogs and a cat somewhere in Connecticut by the age of twelve

Get dumped into the hunt

Chill on Mount Olympus and only come down to be a nuisance and/or give a cryptic message before going back and doing a godly rave party or something

We know Annabeth as the badass strong female first (or the bitchy character we’re supposed to actually like. Choose your approach), the blueprint so to speak, so some of the other characters feel almost pale in comparison and almost not needed? Doesn’t mean that other characters can’t behave similarly, but it feels kind of redundant especially if their character arcs end in a rather anticlimactic way (Thalia, Reyna). The new additions are the much needed woc as the main story with PJO was inherently white (anyway stan black!Percy and Grover, folks). So it’s not to bash on the new characters, it’s more Riordan’s fault more than anything.

Since Riordan only knows three female character arcs it feels like he tried to copy the formula several ways with different nuances. Some more or less successful. This is where fandom actually comes in handy and helps create more distinguished and fleshed out characters in form of headcanons or fanfiction.

But even in these cases people still make it about Annabeth when it’s time for characters of colors to shine. Remember that whole spiel and discussion that broke out when people (Kal, diver-up, Caitlyn, Bee, reynaisalesbian, etc.) joked about or criticized that Annabeth thinks that she’s having it harder because she’s a blonde? In front of Hazel and Piper? If she would’ve been a real person that’s an invitation for getting decked. And then all hell broke loose because Annabeth stans couldn’t accept the fact that in the real world and/or in fictional worlds the woc/coc have it harder? That the white woman wasn’t the victim that needed the coddling? Yeah, that was mad pathetic.

I hope you people get my point?

Well fuck. I wrote so many things and have the feeling I’ve said nothing. Anyway, I hope I made sense. This is way too long.

TLDR: Chill about Annabeth please. She’s an important character but that doesn’t mean that everyone has to like her, regardless of being a character in the books or a reader/fan of PJO in real life. She isn’t nice or a sweetheart all the time. She also isn’t the monstrous asshole that some try to make out of her.

Peace out.

[ibelonginthepast]

okay I need your klance fic recs(i feel like you have really good taste)(i mean your icon is literally THE keith of course you have god tier taste)

okay so the thing is.. that when i say am kinda messed up and disgusting sometimes... and becoming a madwoman... am not over exaggerating or saying it in a funky way.. i actually am getting like that .. and that's how i got into the klance fandom initially. i project through lance and read really langsty fics.. and they are messed messed with like violent nsfw, gore, horror, serious mental health issues etc? so if u want those... i'll only send them if u want?

yeah tho i entered with this thingy that klance is gonna be like my guilty pleasure or some shit but them i inevitably fell in love with some GORGEOUS fanfictions out there and KEITH KOGANE in all shapes sizes genders and ages so lol...

but they aren't flowery. that's just not my taste. Some of them might be "problematic"? it's in quotes because i don't agree with it. it's not going to be problematic in plain ignorant sense like racial issues or blatant sexism or mental abuse.... but they might have like stuff which people dont always agree with like drugs. most of them would have nsfw it's just something that i need to have for feels and that's why i asked if u minded it. some things are like more subjective,, characterizations for example, cause like some people dont think keith is a skirt guy cause he isnt in fashion but i think he is petty and rebellious so he will defo do that? some of them would have like physical fights and stuff.. or keith and lance being mean to each other.. some ugly habits which aren't necessarily condemned like anger or drugs.? but with how i see it, it's not glorified, so i see them as human. i love the raw and ugly in these or idk its just human to me (but some people dont like which is completely valid cause we are all different from different environments and think different and resonate with different stuff.)

wait addition: i think some of them will have sexist themes? which i have complained about a lot before. i dont know why authors feel the need to somehow put women down to show how a mlm relationship without any women is superior or some shit it's annoying as fuck i hate it. i dont think i would have any especially sexist fics here, but there might be some with lowkey themes and bad handling of those issues. some of them mau have that subtext of disgusting heteronormative standards, but in subtext uk like bottom lance having a small waist and being giggly and all in contrast to big bulk keith.

here are some that i had bookmarked... but i may remember some more and then send them to u and or add them here...

a heads up.. i dont remember all of them very well. its been a while and i read fanfictions A LOT so yeah.. incase one slips up here which isnt very good am sorry dont judge me

the bold ones are the ones u should really check out if our taste is similar.

to begin with plain f l u f f,, my first klance bookmark was How Could I Say No? by Padfoots_Pawprint. tws for violence, bullying, injury BUT it's not actually gory or something like that it's just keith being keith and getting hurt and lance helping my boi like he should. it made me feeeeeeeel ksksk

this was one that kinda really touched me,, Wasted youth, Cryptids, and Waterboys by Baea THIS HAS EXPLICIT NSFW in it, the first chapter kicks off with it.. its a good fuck buddies to lovers in my opinion.. i love the writing style, the choice of how it's just a couple entries of random days in their lives. i love keith's characterization.. he is a hobo and a conspiracy nerd.. i love how down for him lance is, very dedicated. i love their growth.. i love how they help each other grow,, and it's so like real and usual day to day and human and down to earth idk how else to express it. this is INCOMPLETE. it's 12 chapters and discontinued as of now,, but it's not a deadly cliffhanger

similar in style and approach to the above. tho i think here is where it gets dubious. Easy, Tiger. by @/WhatTheBodyGraspsNot ... this is INCOMPLETE too and as of now discontinued. this has that sorta murky vibe with it's drug usage, them being teenagers in school and engaging in stuff like this, bad boy keith and all. this has nsfw too. i just remember really liking it and its very raw and unfiltered. tho it's incomplete it's not an open ending for now.

okay so i am restarting this but am upset as fuck that it all got deleted so i am gonna be lazy and not put as much effort as i did.

i have also Crowd Pleaser bookmarked by the same author,, this one's complete and it has some serious issues around gaslighting if i remember correctly... i really liked it then. keith is literally an angel here, i want to kidnap him and marry him literally. the s h w ee t e s t shit ,, and i like how lance gives him all the support and space to get his shit together

Drummer boy by klancekorner,, i think it's similar to the prev one, but lance's pov(which is what i prefer ngl). this authors fanfics are all just wholesome. i had put links to all their fics before, but imma now just say that u should go and check all their fics out. i have them all bookmarked, i must have seen something in them (can't remember what now tho and i cant be bothered to skim through them like last time *rolls eyes*)

War of hearts? idk why honestly, just ik keira has made me gay, and lesbian rejection angst? garrison? yes :) it's incomplete, conveniently left at the point where lance's heart is broken lol

Fuck buddies with benefits. THE NAME IS BAD I KNOW but i just love the idea of a dedicated mess of a keith and lance taking care of him. that's it that's the fic if i remember correctly. oh wait yeah u might think keith is not treating lance right, but i think it's fine if lance is treated a bit stupid. this is a bit too sex driven tho i dont like it but just SLEEPDEPRIVED KEITH TO TAKE CARE OF IMMA SIGN UP (ik this maybe coming off toxic but lol look at me)

Rambling: THIS WAS ME.

Last Defense: TW SUICIDE this is literally the langst i have for canon lance

I want something else: bad boy keith can break my limbs and cut my face and i will thank him

A thank you would be nice: keira damn

game-set-match: b a d b o y

I swear to go the devil made me do it: my typically fav trop, hardcore pining lance, literally perfect angsty keith. very similar to the top ones ig? idk also this one is one of my comparatively recent sane bookmarks so that's something. it starts off weird, u think it gon be subtly sexist but it turns out better so hold on

you've got me locked up: i think it's delinquent keith,, its floofy

Dad lance and tattoo artist keith: the name says it

damn while going through my bookmarks i realized that there are a lot of things i never bookmarked? i am pretty sure i loved a lot of long fanfictions, flower shop aus and tattoo artists shit wtf-

wait here's one, it's not complete: Blood jumps in the sun: it's very heavy has a lot of growth and kinda wholesome,, tags and summary will give u an idea what u getting in.

The lessons we learned: can't remember much other than florist keith, sad keith, smart keith, really long, pining

damn i think i have a lot of happy ones i didn't bookmark cause my brain was like u dont deserve the serotonin :( i'll add if i have more)

some actually angsty, detailed nsfw and messy (according to the way u interpret these) ones... lemoninagin.. they have some very detailed and explicit nsfw stuff but i am not there for it. some of it has the kind of angst i like? an actual one that i love and they recently posted and the reason am putting them here is infinitesimal. best friends to lovers and tho usually it's not my cup of tea.. it's a character study, an interpretation of klance in a modern world i dare say,, which is very similar to mine. the thing about them is that i like their characterization a lot, and in no love in this, i like what kind of background stories they give to klance in their aus. i haven't read many by them, so if u want u can check them out.

i just realized i have put some lowkey sad/fucked fics here... i did remove 5 rn... i hope its all good damn why am i doing this i feel like am putting myself naked out there when i recommend my favs

[visceraah]

The sound of music

(aka i’m so sorry for naming it after a musical it has nothing to do with dkjsdjksdjk names are hard)

My gift for @anianthe for @sanderssidesgiftxchange

Rating- Teen cause i’m incapable of not writing wayyy more swears then are necessary-

WC- 2947

Ship- Just Virgil interacting w the other sides,, feel free to interpret romantically if you want!

Warnings- not really any! Remus shows up briefly so.. beware of that. and ig Virgil is also kinda mean bUT he does it affectionately.

AO3

-

“We’re having a movie night!”

Virgil blinked. Took off his his headphones which, unfortunately, hadn’t been playing anything- he wore them out of habit, sometimes- meaning he heard everything his stupid best friend just said.

“No, we aren’t.”

Roman flopped down on his bed without waiting for any indication it was okay, something Virgil was all too used to. “We are now.”

Virgil sighed heavily and pushed Roman with his foot, trying to roll him off the bed. He didn’t budge. “And if I don’t want to?”

“Pleaseeee?” Roman employed the puppy dog eyes and Virgil knew already this was a losing battle. Ugh.

“I get to pick the movie.”

Roman perked up immediately, coming to sit next to him. “Yes! Okay! Just- Disney?”

Virgil rolled his eyes, wondering if Roman was capable of consuming content made by anyone else. He was beginning to doubt it. “Nightmare Before Christmas, then.”

“Predictable.” Roman murmured smugly, and he elbowed him.

“You want this movie night or not?”

“Okay, okay! I yield!” Roman cried, clutching his ribs. Virgil was pretty sure he was more upset at the prospect of a cancelled movie night then the ‘pain’ he was overplaying right now.

“Okay.” Virgil agreed, smugly, and set the movie on.

He’d seen it a million times already, which for most people would only make it boring by now- but Virgil found comfort in familiar things. Plus, that animation! He could happily watch it a million more times- and, honestly, probably would.

That meant he had it memorised, though, and soon enough he was singing along to the introduction under his breath. He listened along contently, until an unfamiliar third voice joined the chorus, and he startled, looking to the side. “Roman?”

Roman stared back, raising an eyebrow at him. “... Hi.”

“Were you singing along?”

Romans eyes flicked between Virgil and the screen, where the movie was still playing, in confusion. “Yes, Dr Gloom? Look, I know what a downer you love to be, but these pipes can’t stay closed all the time! They need exercise- and, the world deserves- neigh, needs to hear them!”

Virgil huffed at the dramatics, although it was fond. “I never said it was a problem, Sir Sing-a-lot, I’m just surprised.”

“One, that’s not an insult and I’m absolutely using that,” Roman retorted, “And two… It’s Disney! One of their best! Do you really expect me to not know the words?”

Virgil snorted, but he had to admit, he couldn’t disagree with that. “Whatever, nerd.”

Roman gasped, somehow seeming more upset than when Virgil had elbowed him. Of course that’d be what got to him. “I am not! I’m a prince- a very princely prince! Not-”

“Whatever you say, prince of the nerds.” Virgil hummed out, smirking to himself. Maybe Roman bursting in out of nowhere wasn’t so bad… This time. He still hated surprises and would not be convinced to do this again. He said that every time

-

Being Romans best friend, unfortunately, had its side effects. One was unplanned, unannounced Disney marathons he had no choice but to roll with. Another was actually listening to his musicals so often he learned to like them, too.

For all he said about Hamilton being overrated (and Romans reaction was priceless every time), he had to admit it was good. A little fast for him to keep with, but he rarely sang along to his songs anyway, preferring to hum quietly unless he was really in the mood.

He liked keeping his music to himself, too- he didn’t want to annoy anyone, so he always wore headphones- but sometimes he just wanted to drown the world out, and they went to full volume. Worked a treat to drown everyone out, but plenty audible to everyone else in the room. Sometimes, though, they’d just have to live with it.

Today was one of those days, where Virgil didn’t want to speak to anybody and had the volume to show it. He was playing one of Princeys musicals, too, humming along to ‘my shot’ no matter how different it was to his normal taste. He nodded in acknowledgement as he passed Logan on his beeline for the fridge, planning on grabbing the easiest and least healthy snack possible.

Retreating with his bag of marshmallows in hand- he was pretty sure they weren’t meant to be in the fridge, but they were imaginary, so maybe nothing needed to go in the fridge. Holy shit.

He pulled the headphones back, opening his mouth to ask Logan's opinion, when he heard a sound that made him freeze in his tracks.

Logan was rapping along to himself. And well. Jesus, how had he forgotten about that? He stared, still in disbelief, and Logan awkwardly trailed off when he noticed his gaze. “Ah, you could hear me.”

“Yeah, I just wanted to ask… Doesn’t matter. Holy shit, Lo, you’re amazing.”

Logan flushed slightly, looking down at the table. “I simply have an appreciation of the genre, and Hamilton has some particular, uhm- how would you say? ‘Bangers’.”

Virgil laughed, slipping into the seat opposite him and taking the headphones off completely. “Dude, I’ve spent enough time with Roman to know having an ‘appreciation’ doesn’t mean you can pull something off.”

Logan raised an eyebrow, clearly fighting back a smile. “I am not sure he’d appreciate you saying that.”

“Eh, I’ve said it to his face before- and will again.” Virgil dismissed, feeling his lips turn up as well. “Why don’t you do it more?”

Logan shrugged, adjusting his glasses awkwardly. “It is hardly a logical skill for me to have, so it simply… Hasn’t come up.”

“Ro doesn’t need an excuse for songs to ‘come up’ before he starts singing them.” Virgil pointed out, and Logan chuffed.

“No, he certainly doesn’t. But we are different people.”

Virgil laughed, nodding. “You could say that again.”

“Oh. Alright, we are differen-”

“It’s an expression, dude. Come on.” Virgil interrupted, sounding nothing but fond as Logan widened his eyes in realisation.

“A highly illogical one, but alright. I can add it to my flashcards to avoid further confusion.” He decided, pulling out his deck there and then to add to. He paused when he heard the crackling of a plastic bag pulled open, looking up as Virgil helped himself to a marshmallow. “Please do not tell me you intend on consuming that entire bag.”

“Maybe.” Virgil held it out, grinning now. “Want one?”

“A key ingredient is gelatin, created by boiling down a pig or cows bones, skin, ligaments or tendons.” Logan deadpanned, and Virgil almost threw the whole bag away in disgust before he remembered,

“But they’re imaginary!”

Logan titled his head. “I suppose so.”

“Actually, I was thinking…” Virgil began, curious about how the fridge actually worked. Soon enough Logan was in a full-fledged rant about mindscape food, and half of it went over his head, but he didn’t mind listening. It was interesting, after all.

-

Whatever concerns Virgil had about not bothering anyone with his music, the other sides didn’t share them. Roman didn’t hesitate to sing whatever came to mind as it came to mind, offering full renditions of his favourite musical tracks daily, Logan could be heard humming to himself as he worked, Remus had no restraint about… Anything, really, and this was no different, Janus wasn’t exactly considerate, and Patton- Patton was the worst at all.

He wandered the mindscape belting out whatever was in his head at the moment which, as a father figure, was always old, tacky, and bad. They’d learned to ignore it for the most part, but some of the songs he played… Some of them were just unforgivable. And, sitting on the couch as Patton tidied up a little, Virgil had left himself completely at their mercy.

“JOLENE-”

Virgil pulled his hoodie over his ears, wishing he’d brought his headphones. Or just not left his room. “Please, no.”

“Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeeeeeene, I’m begging of you please don’t take my man-”

“Pain, Padre. This is causing me physical pain.” Virgil groaned, slamming his head back in an attempt to make it all stop. Unfortunately, the sofa was soft, and he just bounced back. Eurgh.

“Awh, cmon kiddo! I’m just singing. You could always join me.” Patton chirped, rearranging the same jar for the fourth time in three minutes.

“I might die.” Virgil deadpanned, staring Patton dead in the eyes, and he giggled.

“Don’t be silly… Come on, my music isn’t that bad!”

Virgil couldn’t quite believe his ears. Maybe they were still bleeding from being subjected to Dolly Parton. “You listen to dad music.”

“Well, yeah, but what else did you expect from your pops-”

Virgil groaned louder, shaking his head. “I- whatever. When’d you even start listening to country music?”

“Nico likes it!” Patton replied, brightly, and Virgil bristled.

“That’s it, Thomas has to break it off.”

It took Patton a second to recognize Virgil was joking, and he started laughing. “Don’t be so judgy! I listen to your music- in fact, I quite like being cautious in the disco.”

“Oh my god.” Virgil pulled his hood down further over his eyes, the secondhand embarrassment hitting him full force. “You’re so old.”

“Now, I know I’m no spring chicken, but that’s hardly a nice thing to say-”

“We are all the same age.” Logan interjected as he walked through the room, gone before Virgil could try and drag the only other sane one around him to his aid.

“Look, Patt- I love you, but Dolly is too far.” Jesus, Virgil was spending too much time with Roman. Dramatic ultimatums weren’t his style at all.

“... How about Country Roads?”

“Jesus Christ.” Virgil sunk further back into the sofa, hoping it’d just swallow him and his smile.

-

“I wanna play a song.”

“Get your own headphones.”

“But yours are so loud, they’re basically speakers! You ever turn them up to full volume while they’re on? How loud are they? Oooh, reckon they could rupture your eardrums so blood would bubble out your ears and trail down your face-”

“Stop.” Virgil interrupted with a grimace, before Remus’ imagination could go anywhere gorier. They’d been at this for ten minutes and his answer hadn’t wavered once. “It’s a no, alright? Just… Go away.”

Remus huffed loudly and dropped onto the sofa next to Virgil. Great. “What do you want?”

“Hmmm… Oh, I can do a list!” Remus declared, and before Virgil could tell him please, god, don’t, he was off. “A pony- to disembowel so I can use its guts for ritual purposes, that one dick in a Russian erotica museum they claim is Rasputins and has magical fertility powers, for Barry Bee Benson to be real so I can fu-”

“Alright!” Virgil shuddered and disconnected his headphones. He didn’t know what Remus wanted to do with a literal bee, and he liked it that way. “There.”

Remus grinned a grin with far too many teeth, just a little too sharp, and Virgil rolled his eyes, waiting for whatever monstrosity he was about to hear.

 There’s some whores in this house, there’s some-

“You did not just play WAP!” Virgil punched Remus in the arm, pulling his headphones off “You- I swear to God, don’t do the dance.”

Remus was already halfway stood up and Virgil quickly pulled him back down. He’d never wanted Remus to stay sat next to him more in his life. (To be fair, it wasn’t something he felt often.)

“But I already know it!”

“Of course you do.” Virgil grumbled, glancing over at Remus. “Why do you have to play… This, up here?”

“Jannie’s kicked me out, you know how he is.”

Virgil blinked at him, regretting what he was about to say before the words even left his mouth. “If I get him to back off, will you keep your music to the dark side?”

“That’s not fun, though! Ooh, wait, Logan likes rap, doesn’t he? Reckon he’d like to see the dance?”

Virgil stared at Remus blankly. “Please, say that was a joke.”

“It wasn’t! If you wanna hear one, though… Ooh, ok. Two kids walk into a hospice- ”

“No.” Virgil interrupted again, although even he had to snort a little at how ridiculous it was. Even if it was also deeply, deeply twisted. “I- look, I’m gonna do it.”

Remus tilted his head further then looked natural. Virgil was pretty sure he heard a crack. “Thought you hated me and Double Dee.”

“I- I’m just doing this for my sanity, alright? And Logans.” Virgil snapped back, avoiding meeting his eyes.

Avoiding things didn’t work with Remus, though, and soon enough he was uncomfortably close, peering right at Virgil with that unsettling grin. “Awww, Purps is being nice to us.”

“Shut up.” Virgil hissed, sinking out before Remus could pry any further. Creativity was so pushy, Jesus.

-

Virgil shuddered. He hadn’t been in the dark side of the mindscape in years and, after so long of the bright upstairs, the dark walls felt a little claustrophobic. He just needed to make this quick.

He strode down the hallway, trying to squash the growing nervousness in his stomach. What was the worst that could happen?

… Literally the worst thing he could’ve asked himself, he realised, speeding up subconsciously. So much could go wrong, while he was down here, and he didn’t even know where Deceit was, what if he tripped and fell and broke something and nobody would-

Piano, faint, made him stop in his tracks.

He wasn’t really an expert in classical music, but this had to be one of the more famous pieces, because he’d definitely heard it before. It was good, though, Mozart or something. Pretty difficult, too.

Exactly the kind of pretentious shit Deceit would play, and kick Remus out to enjoy. (Although Virgil couldn’t really blame him for that second part). Emboldened now he knew he wasn’t alone, and could make some jokes about what a snob he was, Virgil entered the room the sound was coming from.

He paled, because in front of him sat Deceit. At a piano. Playing the song.

“Since when do you play.”

Deceit only glanced up at Virgil, the melody smooth even with the interruption. He hated to admit it, but it was impressive. “Things have been quiet. I had time.”

“Quiet? With Remus?”

“I made things quiet.” Deceit amended, shrugging nonchalantly. Knowing him, it had probably been meant to sound as murder-y as it did. Didn’t stop Virgil from shuddering, anyway, serving as the perfect reminder of just how desperately he wanted to leave.

“Alright, look- whatever plan or plot this is, or is covering up, I don’t care.”

Deceit sighed, looking up at Virgil without faltering the music once. Jesus, he actually was good. “You’re right, I’m incapable of having any interests whatsoever without there being some deep, sinister plot behind it. You’ve spotted my evil plan.”

“I- alright, sarcasm’s meant to be for something obviously not true! That could be true!” Virgil protested, already feeling like he was losing this.

Deceit just raised an eyebrow at him in response, and Virgil instinctively hissed back, feeling more and more like he was backed into a corner.

Deceit had the nerve to laugh at him. “It’s been a while since you’ve done that.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve had to talk to anyone so- so-” Virgil groaned, glaring at Deceit. “Stop playing that stupid thing, would you?”

“Alright.” Deceit agreed, and Virgil waited. He kept waiting. The piano continued and after an excruciating minute of listening for an end, he cursed. Why had Virgil assumed he’d be honest?

“Dick.”

“That is my legal name.” Deceit agreed dryly, and Virgil rolled his eyes. He was impossible to talk to.

“Look, just let Remus back down. He’s probably scarring Logan as we speak.”

Deceit smiled at the thought, looking back down at the keys as he played them. “I never said he couldn’t be down here. Oh, and I’m sure there’s /nothing/ about ‘scarring’ Logan that could’ve appealed to him.”

“What, so Remus lied?” Virgil crossed his arms. Remus was plenty of things, but one of them was painfully, brutally, upfront and honest. “That’s your thing.”

“Not lied.” Deceit tutted, like scolding a child for not knowing something they should have. Virgil clenched his fists. “Just… Was dramatic.”

Virgil tried to figure out what he meant before realising it meant literally nothing, and he glared at Deceit. “Stop being so cryptic for five seconds and tell me, Jesus.”

“I wasn’t aware you cared about him so much.” Deceit smirked, and Virgil threw his arms up in exasperation.

“I’m trying to get rid of him!”

Deceit snickered but finally, mercifully, seemed to have already had his fun. “I didn’t tell him to get out if he couldn’t just be quiet and not…” His smile faltered… “Dance on the piano.”

Yeah, that expression was priceless. Virgil laughed as Janus furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”

“Just… Nevermind.” Virgil was pretty sure imagining that scene playing out was enough entertainment to last him weeks. And a reminder that honestly… Remus didn’t cause as much chaos as he gave him credit for. He was all bark… And plenty of bite, too, but nothing too permanent. “Keep playing, or whatever.”

“You aren’t going to demand I fetch the Duke?”

“He’s not a dog.” Virgil dismissed, resisting a smile at Deceit’s murmured ‘ehhhhh’. “He’ll come back when he wants to. And Logan can look after himself.”

“Amazing.” Deceit sighed heavily. “You wasted my time for nothing, then.”

Virgil could be proud of that, at the very least. He grinned in way of response, sending Deceit a nod before he sunk out.

[yellowhoothoot]

i think both versions of the old guard are really good and fun and i like that neither one feels overall better than the other so here's my thoughts on what i like in each version. ive only read the first book of the comic so spoilers for that ig

comic - honestly funnier. especially andy, she’s less stoic in the comic - also on the topic of andy, booker’s betrayal being for her sake as well makes much more sense bc it’s more clear that having lived so long really takes a toll on her. her depression and unhealthy coping mechanisms are a lot more explicit. even though she’s more sarcastic and funny than in the movie it doesn’t take away from her personal struggles. i think having her “voice over”/narration throughout helps show this

-also, even though it’s not explored a lot, canon bi andy. a couple of the people at the beginning that she wakes up with are women and then i believe there was also a line about her sleeping through whole populations? which in my bi opinion would not be limited to men

- andy old person technology jokes. come on. also it makes more sense for nile to figure out booker betrayed them because of him getting internet in a cave than being like “this one gun is empty so something’s wrong”

- nile lore! nile lore! nile in the comic seems much more competent and experienced. her role on the team is less of a trainee and the skills she already has come into play more. it’s really nice to hear her talk about her life before, with the different jobs and interests she had. also it’s a crime that her interest in art history isn’t explicit in the movie because the scene in the comic where she sees the rodin and the other art is so good and you only get a little slice of it in the movie

- andy and merrick have better designs in the comic. everyone else looks better in the movie but andy’s design just kinda feels more “her“ and merrick just looks cooler honestly. i’m mad that joe and nicky were both robbed of long hair in the movie

- merrick is more evil and the way they kill him is way better. like, his bravado is way more hollow and the fact that he’s just a little rat bastard coward is more satisfying. so rather than a dramatic way to save andy they all just shoot him while he’s cowering in a bathtub. and he deserves that more than he deserves getting dragged out of a window with nile.

- oh on that note, the scene where they all jump out the window is great. i mean, “so nile, read any good books lately? SPLAT” is way better than being silent on the way down

- sexier settings. mostly i’m talking about the fact that they’re not in england. imagine being british. dubai and then malta is so much better than london and then... i think still london?

- nile and andy have a better relationship. nile seems less like a protege and, again with the way the comic has more jokes and lighthearted moments, they’re a lot quicker to get to that found family level of friendship and their fights/arguments are less actual anger and more poking at each other

- the van scene has slightly different dialogue i think, and it’s even better than in the movie. i think there’s a few extra lines. and they’re really good.

- the actual results of the research! the fact that there’s nothing scientifically special about them! i mean as a science person i would love some sci-fi answer as to what their deal is but honestly i think them just being regular people who don’t die fits the setting and tone of the story better

movie - despite some nile details that i love being left out, there are scenes with her that aren’t in the comic that make her more... sympathetic isn’t the word i’m looking for because she’s sympathetic in both. but like when she talks about her dad and her mom and brother it gives a better sense of why she joined the military and makes it hurt way worse the way her friends turned on her. you kinda see it again at the end when andy mentions she would’ve let book off with an apology

- copley is so much more sympathetic and their not killing him makes way more sense. not only are his reasons and motivations more clear, but it’s also clear that he didn’t realize how brutal merrick and co. would be and actually tries to both stop them being treated so poorly and then is willing to risk his own life to make things right when he brings nile to the lab.

- i can’t decide if i like andy becomes mortal or andy is fine better. actually i think that the difference is good because each outcome fits its medium better. comics andy staying alive means she has time to address the self-destruction that’s pointed out to her, while movie andy learning to deal with mortality means it gives her more of a chance to see the bright sides of things like she says to nile about how she thinks nile’s presence can remind her what it feels like

-quynh being alive! there’s so much possibility with that and like, i guess in theory it could be a thing in the comic too? but honestly i don’t think it will be. so yeah both the angst of knowing that quynh’s out there and then the twist of her getting out of the water are really good elements

- this is more of a benefit of the medium than of the interpretation, specifically, but all the characters are so much more expressive. especially nile, i like how when she’s processing how old everyone is her eyes get really wide and her inflection is really good. also i think when different team members give each other A Look it translates better.

- ok yes comic merrick has a better overall design BUT movie merrick does look more like a rat bastard. im sorry to that actor but god he just looks so unpleasant to be around.

- the fact that dr. uhh... kozak? was that her name? gets more screen time of actually doing experiments is nice. like dr. ivan in the comics is for sure more explicitly awful but his actual mad science is all off screen. whereas in the movie dr. kozak is SHOWN doing all her stabbing and poking and prodding and it’s awful and a great detail.

both - ok the main thing i really like about both is that they’re not cowards with the found family. i know other people have said this but it’s really nice that the characters actually act like they like each other rather than it being like “this ragtag team has been together for 200 years but they have no chemistry or inside jokes and are very stoic to each other”

[unproduciblesmackdown]

another prompt saga

April 8th: Talk about friendship. How important are friends to you? Do you find it hard to make and maintain friendships? Are your friends generally supportive? Is there anything about having friends that confuses you?

another big question for me to go on plenty of tangents lol

well i haven't often had friends Really, there's like, being amicable with classmates, being friends with people While We're At School Together, being friendly acquaintances lmfao, or like, the occasional "yeah ig we're sort of friends, not exactly very close tho" lol and then rarely where yeah i'd call someone a close friend, although naturally, it's not like i completely discount those other, less close relationships. and, even more so, not like overall i'm like "oh friendship? yeah that's pretty frivolous and unimportant and it's just something mildly entertaining vs the Real Shit & True Emotional Support & Love of your biological family and romantic soulmate" lol, Friends Are Important and it's entirely serious 2 me

also natch i Do find it hard to make and maintain friendships lol. goes back to like, preschool and being around a bunch of age peers regularly for the first time, where my "best friend" defaulted to this one person who sought out interacting with me when i was otherwise doing my own thing during preschool recess, and i was pretty enthused about getting invited to a bday party one kid invited a bunch of us to, because that was like, a Friend thing, and a fun social thing, and i was included.....that i Do remember just feeling like, socially, everyone else was playing a game i didn't know the rules to and so couldn't expect to participate and, furthermore, i ought to stay out of the way of whatever everyone else was doing, where i Did often choose to do stuff by myself, but it's like, you know, the way "autistic" is even used figuratively (which. i have a lot of disdain for) because it's like oh the defining thing really is that telltale "doesn't want to interact with other people or form relationships, probably because also they have no feelings / normal and intrinsic qualities of Humanity" but it's like, if you pay any attention or god forbid ask autistic people about their own experiences, sure everyone has their own varying social approach and anyone might not always be raring to be the center of the party or Not want to do their own thing, but it's not that oh all autistic people aren't interested in social connection, but that like even when you are a small child it's like, oh all these other kids are interacting in this way that isn't really my social style and that shuts me out, and/or attempting to interact with people results in this even subtle, quiet rejection / exclusion that can be picked up on. i wasn't making friends and was often keeping to myself / keeping my head down as it were, but it wasn't because i didn't want to have friends or socialize. my mom was insistent i was a Shy Child lmao and i'd always argue that i wasn't Really, without further explanation though lmao, but it's like, again that i felt that sort of emergent exclusion, and there wasn't any space to interact much on my terms at all, and like, yeah i often stayed quiet / didn't want to mingle with other kids / if i was in a Situation i wanted to know the How To of navigating it / what to expect

being friends with people at school was fine, except the drawbacks of stuff like "we're only interacting at school, rarely hanging out outside of that" & "someone in the same grade is in a diff class in elementary school so we just never see each other now" & "for some reason that 2nd grade teacher made a whole giant Example out of me and a friend, god forbid, not paying attention or whatever the fuck, so now i feel like we can't interact at all anymore" & "changing schools entirely between elementary / middle / college" & "not being in school" lmao similar to work friends too, we're At Work, might not see each other outside of that, might change jobs & stop seeing each other, & still overall rare, b/c the Preschool Experience never Really stopped imo, had different versions of it even into college and like, being at jobs with other adults lmao, socializing is still Like That, came up with the Je Ne Hate Quoi where like, people kind of just Know to exclude you / consider you an exception to whatever other social stuff is going on.

and then like, the difficulties even when socializing / interactions Are happening, where like, it's always funny like. i'm very Verbose / Chatty and very opinionated but like, this will surprise people, that i Talk actually and have a ton of takes, b/c i was keeping to myself / not sharing that with them and so it's like well, that must of course be the realest version of me, no way i was filtering myself, i just must have Not Wanted to talk, and/or had nothing to say & hence no thoughts or feelings i might wanna share lol, of course....and tbh like, it sure Can be true that i don't wanna talk lmao like. i wanna talk About Stuff that isn't really "personal" generally, which can be like, yeah i wanna talk about this book, or about birds, or about this trivia topic, or whatever, whereas idk so much how to do like small talk about your day or otherwise share Casual things about Yourself, like, idk, being aware my interests are things about Myself but also aware that it's Weird / wasn't the kind of stuff you were supposed to talk about, and i felt that things about my life were otherwise Not The Right Stuff, or too boring (never hanging out, not doing much except being at home reading / doing shit by myself or w/siblings) or too Unfun (able to pick up the sense that At Home Shittiness was a private matter lol......) and it'd be like, idk what to say, things about myself don't seem to fit..........but also it can be that i do not enjoy the Vibe of an interaction lmfaoooo like, i truly do not want to talk to you people. like that i can sometimes vibe with someone inebriated people better lmfao because then, idk, they have some sense of humor and can muster some enthusiasm for anything, but also i'm not really a fan of knowing that someone isn't sober lmfao like. ppl will be like "omg were you drunk" like no, that was just my personality, whereas i am not Heartened to know other ppl Will have to have been drunk to get on my level, for example, don't understand when people cannot muster being even a little silly. it's goofaround hours. but then you have like, being around a bunch of cishet people when they're drunk, and their humor is as nonexistent and boring as ever but they're even louder / more insistent about it, nightmare. and, yknow, just people talking and i'm like "i'm not interested in this at all, whether re: conversational Style or Subject, i would not want to participate" and times when it's like. i know if i was gonna chime in with what i Would say you would not be able to handle me here lmfaoooo so. i truly would prefer examining the wall and thinking about my own shit or texting with someone i do like talking with

but that yknow, in groups / conversations i would be at least someone interested in, i can still be like, idk, Hesitant To Talk b/c of all the instances you've been taught like oh you're socializing Wrong and everyone hated that, sorta like the post about making a comment about salsa that brings the gc to a halt and you're wondering how you fucked up and if salsa killed someone's parents and forgot or whatever, i've been Disheartened re: hanging out when it's like, well, nice to be included, but i'm a friendship third wheel here, not being included in the entire convo and nobody misses it, there's been instances where it's like, two people talking, i chime in, i am completely ignored multiple times, this is frustrating lmao. or there's been times i've tried to put myself out there in a way, like yeah sure i'll hang out with this group, but also i'm anxious and it's like, if people are doing homework i'm also bringing this thing i'm working on as this parallel task, only to find out down the line like people then regarded you as a joke or something b/c it was Rude or Wrong when you know, actually that was you reading some weird shit that didn't exist into the situation, and just like, idk it's wild how people will have like "graciously" declined to express something to your face, and you either can pick up on shit at the time but not be able to say anything which just reads to people like "oh they didn't notice this / that means you can push it a little further next time even" or like, figure out later that something that seemed positive or decent actually ft. people not liking you / not wanting to include you Yet Again, and as a bonus you're left with you know, having to always worry about if people Seemingly being amicable & accepting is actually them wishing you weren't there or solidifying some Interpretations of you that they're then gonna Talk About or Act On behind the scenes, like, beautiful thank you, always very touching, so glad you were so Considerate of someone's feelings and Nice about this where it just ends up being this whole letdown / feeling like even more of a rejection if there was this weird like stringing along lmao like. can allistic people be normal for five minutes

anyways and tied to that sort of, it's also like, simultaneously Cagey About Things and always worried about like, i could tell this person this thing and maybe it'd be Incorrect for the interaction and they won't care, whether because it's too mundane and boring a thing about you or because it's too #Real, i think i glimpsed something a month or so ago about like "do other autistic people have trouble where like, you can be friends with someone a long time but not get particular Close to them" or whatever lol, where like, well i have to hold everyone at arm's length and often Then Some because there's just matter of fact stuff about me that i nonetheless think i can't or shouldn't share, if i talked about something it might be out of the blue b/c i just was hardly confiding in people about it, or it's boring, or it's like, i don't actually feel like i'm close enough with this person that saying this isn't gonna be like "whoa overshare!! i just feel awkward & weird!" lmfao like. there were people i hung out with in person the year i lived out of my car and i did not mention this at all to them / kept it a secret b/c it's like, not out of like ohh this is a secret b/c No One Can Know, some people Could know lmao (shoutout to the person i Did confide in about these problems and who talked with me at what must've been like 3am in that timezone when i was like "well the rich people around here made sure to get cops to harass an unhoused person, e.g. me, would you believe it, it sucked" lmfao) it's that i knew idk, it would be pointless, they'd just feel weird about it and switch into that "for some reason, this is being Nice" where everyone will go into full Putting On A Front mode to be Polite like, that really sucks actually lmao could you Not. but it's like, idk, all this stuff where it's like "this thing about me / my life would be too Boring or too Awkward or Depressing or Etc Etc" turns out to be isolating / alienating b/c like, of course it would be. and idk nobody i ever made friends with in person i was Confiding in, not a ton of them re: me either, because you know. being cagey and wary, on top of like ohhh this person is Standoffish if they're hesitant to interact with people generally or do their own thing or i don't think they're socializing Right / have incorrectly inferred their feelings/motivations/intentions or whatever

and furthermore on that lmao it's also like, again, while i'm Verbose & Opinionated people will think i'm quiet & have no takes to provide because it's also like, even when it comes to stuff i sure feel i Could talk freely about, it's like, if i have a different opinion here will that just be a conversational Interruption ruining things for the real participants, probably nobody wants to hear me talk about this Subject, probably nobody wants to / would let me talk about it at much length without interrupting, even Online lmao i can be just going all out in terms of [how much i can talk about something] and while people can be Into that at that time it's like, people aren't into that beyond that one back and forth on one day, shoutout when people do enjoy the extensive discussing and/or have patience for it other times lol.

then supposing i Am talking to people lmao it's like, idk i'm an acquired taste or what have you, like, on top of the Talking A Ton it's like, the being opinionated and argumentative and sometimes pedantic or whatever on top of being irritable, could stand to be a bit more patient lmao, The Hater Friend to use the figure of speech lmao i have hardly been in a Group to be The [Any] Friend lol, also if my sense of humor doesn't fit it's like well how am i supposed to be silly, if being sometimes Enthused doesn't fit, again kinda an issue......have described myself as A Bit Much, humorously, but already not doing that as Much b/c it's like, i think i'm still too much like considering other people's opinions too "objective" here when like, first of all that's never accurate lmao, second of all i can easily forget that idk, i can at least in theory expect people to just regularly Like me and Enjoy interacting with me lol so. an acquired taste few can sample..........like hey even if other people don't vibe with me, it can just as much be the case that i'm not vibing with other people, don't worry lmao. and yknow, kinda parallel to Masking to seem acceptable in any casual social situation it's like, if i feel i'm suppressing my whole personality here / putting up a front / like i have to Get Through what should be a friendly interaction rather than be able to enjoy it myself, it's not exactly that rewarding. and plenty of times it's like, i like to be around people, but it can be strangers, i don't feel like "oh i wanna go out to eat / see a movie / go to this event, but if i can't get any friends to go, guess i can't!" like get out of the way i'm readily doing shit alone, it can even feel Better that way if otherwise it's like, now this occasion is about performing peak Agreeability for this other person/people, and like, not like i have ever been like "yes i have people i can readily ask to hang out and they'll be like Ya" anyways lol so. used to operating solo, where you can't be like "aha this is because this person has no Human Interest in Human Connection" when it's like. well it was never all up to me was it

well and so also it helped when i was 14 and able to be Online consistently, vs at home lmao. time for online friendship, which i don't think is like, oh that's not Real, like what sorry have you never known about people who have Remote friendships before, phones & letters & telegrams and also [nowadays when many ppl are Remote even if they usually lived near enough to hang out with] where it's like, you have this different format for socializing that can sure play out differently than Real Time, In Person interactions, and ever since i'll be posting mostly to myself lmfao but able to thusly talk about Interests and like, people will come along who want to talk more about it, then we do. i suppose also it can sure help that i'll draw (and Only draw, lol) for said interests, although tbh i think most of the time it's the extensive text posts that do it? really and great litmus test or whatever lmfao like, well already this person must not hate the verbosity. and then you can end up vibing with these people further, or not, but it's like, again, there's this chance for From The Start like, oh this person Likes that i have this niche interest, they like &/or don't mind talking A Lot about it lmao, vs in person introductions where that can sure happen but it's like, that's gonna be chance & spontaneous, whereas ppl might have the opportunity to Seek Out this interaction / content of yours......even online though, i'm still like, not as inclined to reach out or make the first interaction move or whatever lmao so. and then it's like, people make galaxy brain remarks like "ohh people who are very Online don't have friends, irl, they aren't Personable, irl," like yes congratulations i'm autistic and i don't have many In Person friends generally, sometimes maybe not any, don't really know where people think they'll land their argument here. like, follow it through, are you just calling people losers. is it "social media makes peopel Not social" like nobody is Doing Anything when they're online or everyone is embracing strangers and having heart to hearts every weekday morning with whoever is nearby if only they weren't on twitter? plus the fact that like, if i don't have access to people i interact with online, that doesn't like, force me to become neurotypical so that i then have a thriving in person social circle, it just means i'm more isolated? meanwhile, turns out it helps a lot if it's like, yeah i can Expect to interact with people

and then still like, all the time it might be like i still can feel Confused as it were about How To Talk To People lmfao like. there's not much "Just Be Yourself" when being yourself has meant filtering yourself, actually, and being v self conscious about trying (and often failing) to appeal to other people (which, then if you do succeed, it's like oops this person likes me but if i've been putting up a front the whole time, not super Validating) and not exactly a ton of practice getting to do Otherwise, and it can again be like. is this too boring to talk about, or just somewhat arbitrarily like "oh i'd better Not talk / say whatever" for no real reason lmfao, i Can just get like. Real Time Chatty as it were, but it's difficult actually lmfao like i need a lot of momentum, and it's easy for that to be Not the case.......and just like, again that it's easy to forget you don't have to be in "nobody wants to hear you talk" mode, or think like, okay, i can't just say anything, i have to say something Good, aka of interest or funny or whatever lmao but then it's like well i guess i Can just say anything. don't much know how to do that tho

(also, sidenote from "wtf is thinking being friends w/someone online is faker than when you're friends with someone sort of from being in the same building every weekday, what is the conclusion of 'what a loser geek whatever if you care about connecting Online who can't be popular Offline'" where it's always funny when someone is also like "wow even in person Fandom is, like social media, something that only people who suck at socializing Normally are into" lmfao like. not very relevant b/c nobody wants to really be in a broader fanbase rather than find particular kindred spirits through it, and who actually wants to go to comic con or whatever, sounds like a nightmare, but it's still such a faux analytical perspective lmfao like, again, first of all, what's the Conclusion to your argument here? and secondly honestly like. all versions of Small Talk are kinda gonna be bullshit, even amongst say, nt people, there's nothing Universal, and people can certainly be inconsiderate / preclude any genuine connection via what they might consider to be this neutral part of the ritual, and yknow, i find it kinda exhausting like it's peak Time To Mask and then i'm hardly in the mood to Really talk further, like yknow what. idk i'd be annoyed if someone demanded i Correctly Complete some sort of fandom reference by way of greeting, but i'm also annoyed when someone demands i Correctly Complete whatever maneuvers you're supposed to do with a rhetorical "how are you :)" lmfao like. you're a cringe nerd in the rigid social ritual of pleasantries fandom)

anyways and uhh yeah i also yknow, hashtag alana beck, it's like, glad to pretend Friendly Acquaintances makes sense, i guess it can, but it's great when it's like, oh i Don't have to only expect to be really peripheral in people's lives, or to only be friends with people i don't feel like i vibe with That much or also talk to that much about anything, when i can definitely feel like Yes this person is a Friend, no "are they actually closer to an acquaintance at this point" disclaimers needed, again, taking it back to the fact that friendship sure is Significant to me and when i have it that's v important thanks

so it's like uhhhh yeah difficult to make friends, don't have general appeal or whatever lol, ppl aren't on my wavelength or i'm not on theirs, hard to talk to people even though it's not because i don't/can't talk plenty lmfao.......and re: being Supportive it's like well, i don't really tell people In Person i'm autistic but naturally if you follow me Online here i am talking about it lol, and not like anyone who already knew me & was friends with me was like "oh nvm don't like interacting with you now" and i also gotta mention the like Handshake Lgbtq lifehack, where plenty of times it can be like, oh if we vibe on That wavelength it can be easier to befriend people, and/or that people will at least be more like, amicable / supportive based on Knowing you're handshake on that lol. b/c really it's like, i'd also like to just be allowed to talk and/or simply be around people even if we are not Personal Friends, aka that you can expect to be treated decently with some basic respect / consideration and like you're generally allowed to exist and be present and interact with people where you're not only guaranteed to Not be punished / excluded for it if someone's your individual friend and allows you to be here, so. once again it's like, can allistic ppl be normal for 5 min

[moshymosh]

Feel The Beat Of My Heart

Photo credit: @muhammedsaiah_ on IG

A/N: This is my first fic, so go easy on me. I’m a big fan of the marvel fics involving Bucky Barnes. Give me feedback and let me know if I should continue this or not. I might just stick to imagines and oneshots if this doesn't pan out. The inspiration for the reader is Toph from the last avatar. Instead of being blind she’s deaf. I feel really close to this fic being as I'm going to college to become an ASL interpreter and half my family is deaf. This part is mostly just the setting up of the story if it sucks ill go on to do something else

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Deaf!Enhanced!reader

Summary: In a completely silent world, Can Y/N ignore her stirring feelings for a certain broody brunette, or will she push him away in fear of her heart being broken once again.

Warnings:( A lot of these will be explained or happen in future parts A/N: Thought I’d start this one as a light one to gauge people's reactions to it.) SMUT, Past abusive relationship, depression/ depressing themes/thoughts, Fluff, Angst, Mutal Pining.

______________________________________________________________

Being born deaf has its advantages, you don’t have to listen to people’s incessant rambling about trivial things or their problems that they feel like no one experiences, but they very much do. But being deaf has its disadvantages, not being able to hear the people you love tell you about their days or how much they love you, not being able to hear the sound of an infant crying, for the first time or just hear the sounds of nature around you.

Y/N may be deaf, but that’s not the only thing. She has the ability to shift the earth around her, causing earthquakes and tsunamis, though she tries not to go to the extreme of causing the oceans to crash and cause massive destruction. Life for her has been nothing but troublesome, learning to adapt to the environment with the loss of sound, being teased in school growing up and learning to control her power was a feat in itself. She learned to be a mechanoreceptor, feeling the vibrations of the object/people around her to sense how far from her they are. Though when she first got hearing aids she had to adapt slightly. As a child, she had to learn to control her anger in fear of injuring her classmates by throwing rocks that were three times their size at them.

When she was 22 years old word got around to the one and only Tony Stark, he immediately reaches out to the now-adult and isolated, Y/N. She was living on her own out in the rural part of New York. Only coming into town twice a month to stock up on food and other necessities, living off the very wealthy inheritances that her mother and father left her after they passed. Stark invited her to be on the team that is The Avengers.

On her arrival with Stark to the tower, to be introduced to the team that will now be her family. Stark tried to get her an interpreter but she refused, partially due to the fact she never wanted to feel like a burden to anyone. 

As the elevator got to the floor of the common area that then broke off to the start of the living areas. She suddenly felt very overwhelmed at the thought of being around other people again, and how they would react to her. When the doors opened, she stepped out behind Tony, feeling the vibrations of nine people standing up, she cringed inwardly at how many people there were in the room. Tony stepped to the side and she took in the people in the room. She waved hello and then looked at Tony as he started to introduce everyone. 

“This is Captain Thick-ass .” Tony joked as he gestured to Steve. “No, joking matters aside, this is Steve Rogers, better known as Captain America.” Steve smiled and held his hand out, not remembering that Tony told him that she was deaf

“Nice to meet you.” She signed and then quickly shook his hand before Steve got nervous and retracted his hand. At this sight, Clint smiled widely and jumped forward. 

“You know Sign Language?” Clint signed to her excitedly. She gasped and smiled widely quickly signing back, taking everyone back at how fast they both could sign to each other.

“Yes, I’m fully deaf. I mean, I can hear with hearing aids but my hearing aids are overwhelming sometimes.”

“Woah, Woah. Slow down there trigger fingers” Tony said waving his hands trying to get the pair to stop. Clint mumbled a “Sorry” before he looked at her again.

“I can interpret if you want.” Clint signed to her. She nodded as she signed “Please” He smiled and told Tony what he said. “My name is Clint.”  He signed, giving back the introductions to Tony

She smiled as she saw two women come forward into Steve’s place as he moved off to go sit back onto one of the couches. Y/N felt relieved that she wasn't the only woman in the building, growing happy at the prospective idea of having some girl time that she never had in school. 

“Hello, I’m Wanda.” The one with auburn hair said. “I’m Natasha.” The redhead said with a smirk on her face. As they went through the introductions of Peter Parker, Sam Wilson, and Vision. Y/N looked up as a tall man with shaggy brunette hair and piercing blue eyes. She felt her heart flutter at the sight of the man and instantly felt her cheeks heat up.

“I’m… Uh... I’m James Barnes. Uh… You can call me Bucky if you want.” Bucky stuttered off as Clint signed to her what Bucky said.

“It’s very nice to meet you all.” Y/N signed and then looked to Tony. Before Tony brought her here he had all her stuff brought from her farmhouse she lived in, into one of the apartments in the tower “Can I see my room? Uh…… Apartment? Whatever you call them.”

“Uh, Yes. Follow me.” Tony said as he started walking to the hallway that leads to the start of the bedrooms. As Y/N walked after him she waved to everyone, and her stomach filled with butterflies as Bucky gave her a thousand-watt smile. As Tony lead her to her new home, she smiled to herself and thought “Maybe being here won’t be so bad after all.”

[seijch]

hi im about to spam u (so sorry) but ive been too scared to read doomsday until now and im so glad i finally did becasue dude. Dude. its so much. "It’s as the sky bleeds from orange to pale blue that it hits." i loveeee how you incorperated such small moments like the hot chocolate and the ily + i know... be even here just the thought of your Last Sunrise is heartbreaking, but to /realize/ your own end coming in that moment, especially watching the soft sunrise... oof.

HI!!! omg when you sent this i was like . abt to sleep but i read this before i did and went irl 🥺🥺 and then also passed out before i could formulate a response sjfksdfds

anyway!! my response to your asks (i hope i got them all but!!) will be under the cut bc i dont know how to shut up ❤

a lot of the way the interactions in doomsday unfold are honestly BECAUSE tsukki and the reader are (i mean first of all, theyre tsukki and the reader with all that comes with) fully aware that:

they have abt a full day of life left

theres nothing that can be done to elongate that time or avoid death altogether

its not like some young adult novel where a group of ragtag teenagers save the world; its the tale of two adults who have had time to come to terms with the fact that their lives and the lives of everyone they know will end soon (and once again everything that THAT comes with). its why i rlly enjoyed juxtaposing the nice weather w the crippling realization of their own mortality 🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻

"you try to stress your words, make it absolutely clear that you’ve never meant anything like you mean this" this is HEARTBREAKING in a whole miryad of different ways - for a realtionship u establish as one with so many things unsaid but still understood, but here to have her say this so desperately?? like she feels this its too big to leave between the lines? it doesnt matter that he knows, she needs to say it and needs him to hear it UGH IM SAD AGAIN

IM SO GLAD YOU POINTED THIS ONE OUT!! this is EASILY one of my favorite parts of the whole fic mostly bc its something i go thru a lot? like im the definition of that tweet abt never making any damn sense but ESP when it comes to my i love yous or other serious things...i say it a lot and yes i mean it every time! but sometimes i MEAN it and i never quite know how to properly express that kinda thing. 

i think its especially big for the reader in the context of the world ending and in the context of their relationship with tsukishima to have that moment of transparency and complete sincerity for the EXACT reasons you described!!!

"It’s hollow; neither of you have been under the delusion that this was anything but." u said u werent sure about his characterisation but this screams tsukki to me. cuz hes blunt and i dont think he would lie to himself about something like this especially. and even when she tries just for a moment to pretend, he just shows her /no, its ok, this is the truth and we have to die with it/... nah it vibes dude. hes such a interesting character for this idea too? because hes not sappy or anything +

so his tears hurt so much more... oof. "This is my goodbye, he says with more than words." this just... i have so many feelings about this. cuz to me hes totally someone who shows affection through small actions when he cant find the words to match his emotions? so this is like a 4-book-saga laying out his emotions cuz he doesnt quite have the words to say it out loud and theyre out of time. its desperate, but not sad desperate? like its the end but its just him making sure shes knows everything 

ok first of all THANK YOU for saying that bc i wrote him being more vulnerable than i think we rlly see in any tsukki not like ... in junior high LMAO and immediately after i felt my characterization alarms ringing ... like yk those natural disaster alarms? thats the vibe...

but i had one of those Moments where i was no longer the one writing and it was the characters themselves just telling me what to say and how to say it nsfsfsd so im rlly glad it worked! and tbh when the concept first grabbed me by the collar i was juggling a few different characters around in my head but i think i made the right choice in the end. its like you said -- hes not a particularly sappy type and hes always been more grounded in reality imo than some of the other characters (another contender for this fic was akaashi but i realized i do NOT have any solid grasp of his character that isnt from fandom interpretation which is a double edged sword tbh)

and honetly i was ok until "If you’re going to take me out, do it in style, you’d said to him, once. So he does." and then i was all of a sudden crying. and the "stripped down to your bare selves" like theyre just being incinerated together and IM- NO WRODS JUST FEELINGS. i think the best thing about this is how unrushed it feels? and it hurts and its aching but they Know. +

and theyve come to some form of peace with it so when it does come, they can focus on eachother and not the end oh im gonna cry again. this was so gracefully put together, thank u for this. i might reread it and cry again, amazing work 😭💕

i didnt touch on it above bc i wanted to do it here but yes!!!! the absolute fucking DESPERATION felt by both parties in that last minute (which idk if you read my tags on the fic proper but 11:59 was originally one segment before i took those last couple paragraphs and made them the very last second ... i think i made the right choice? it rlly does scream FINAL to me) is SO poignant. all of the walls and hidden meanings fall away because in the end theyre all they have left, dying in each others arms at the very end of it all.

this full REVIEW honestly made me so happy to hear esp on a piece i wasnt quite sure how to feel about at first,, thank you 🤝🏻🤝🏻 i hope you have/had a wonderful day!!!!

OK EDIT BC I JUST SAW THIS COMIC SOMEONE MADE ON IG AND ITS NOT THE MOST RELEVANT BUT ANSWERING THIS PUT ME IN A TSUKISHIMA MOOD SO HERE

[moonlightpur]

Ok so I made this playlist on my phone called "songs about momo" and I thought it would be nice to go through the songs in this playlist.This is my personal interpretation of these songs.I hope you're ready, because this is going to be the longest post I've ever made.

1.Karma by Marina (2019)

This is probably one of the most recent songs on here. I think this song can talk about how Momo is always trying to play the victim.

"So vicious, this cycle

When you live in sweet denial

But, you'll be sorry when you're coming down, down, down"

This part of the lyrics is probably about Momo thinking that she treats Richard right, and when someone calls her off,she tries to play the victim.

"And when your world comes crashing down (It won't save you)

All of the money in this town (It won't save you)

Won't save your reputation now (It won't save you, ooh)"

And for these,it means that when finally Richard dumps her manipulative ass,she will probably try to go to her gold digger ways and try to seduce some other rock star, but people know about her manipulative ways. Her reputation is not what it used to be.

2.Diamant by Rammstein (2019) Yes,this song is beautiful and it's the shortest in Rammstein's current catalogue. The song's about a woman who is beautiful on the inside, but has a very ugly personality. And that's why it's perfect to describe Momo. She's apparently beautiful, but her personality is probably the ugliest.

"Wunderschön wie ein Diamant

Doch nur ein Stein"

3.I Can't Live With You by Queen (1991)

I think this song is about how Richard might feel about Momo,or at least what Momo made us believe.

"I can't live with you

But I can't live without you

I can't let you stay

Ooh but I can't live if you go away

I don't know just how it goes

All I know is I can't live with you"

4.You Don't Fool Me by Queen (1995)

This is one of my favourite songs by Queen and it basically resumes the Rammfandom's opinion about Momo,because yes,absolutely every single fucking member of the Rammfandom seems to dislike her,and yes,she deserves it.

"You don't fool me - those pretty eyes

That sexy smile - you don't fool me

You don't rule me - you're no surprise

You're telling lies - you don't fool me

Mmm, mama said be careful of that girl

Mama said you know that she's no good"

5.I Hate Myself for Loving You (Halestorm cover,originally by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts,song's from 1988)

"I hate myself for loving you

Can't break free from the the things that you do

I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why

I hate myself for loving you"

I have the feeling that Richard knows about all the bad things that Momo does and he probably wants to break up with her,but he loves her and he might feel guilty about it.

6.The Beast (Inside Of You) by Lena Katina (2014)

"The sun breaks through

I see the beast inside of you

So not cool

The heartache that you put me through"

Ok,so this song is probably about the type of relationship that Richard and Momo have. Not a very healthy one.

7.Familiar Taste of Poison by Halestorm (2009) This is probably one of my favourite songs.

"I tell myself,

That you're no good for me

I wish you well,

But desire never leaves"

Then again,this song is about Richard and Momo's on and off relationship,from Richard's point of view.

8.Eyes Fade Away by Emigrate (2018)

This song includes,apparently,Momo's favourite line from Emigrate's discography. That's why I included it here.

"If I could only drain you from my veins..."

This says a lot about what Momo apparently wants to do with Richard, and that is abusing him emotionally. REESH FFS BREAK UP WITH HER ASAP AND GO INTO TILL'S HUGE ARMS PLS

9.Is It Me by Roger Taylor (1998)

There's two parts of the lyrics here that seem to resume Momo's and Richard's relationship pretty well.

"How many times can we drive ourselves mad

End up just feeling sad with a love turning bad"

"How many pleas does it take to appease

When you're down on your knees

Seems that nothing can please"

10.Let Me Live by Queen (1995)

{Fun fact: I have this single on CD}

The whole song is about a relationship that it's on its final moments, when one of the people in the relationship is sick and tired of the other person's ways. What if that's how Richard truly feels?

"All you do is take

And all I do is give

All that I'm askin'

Is a chance to live"

11.Uncomfortable by Halestorm (2018)

"I did it all to shake

every single one of your emotions and just to make you

Uncomfortable

I love to make you

Uncomfortable"

I can't help but wonder if this could be about the comment that Momo made in one of Richard's IG posts. I guess we'll never know.

12.Love-Hate Heartbreak by Halestorm (2009)

"Between love

Between hate

Shake this silence back 'fore it's too late

And it haunts you

And it haunts you

It's a love-hate heartbreak"

This could be referring to a (let's hope) possible future when Richard cuts Momo out of his life for good.

13.Better Than That by Marina (2015)

There's this line in the song that describes Momo's character and her intentions perfectly:

"Got a sour face like a poisoned fruit

That the boys can taste 'til they're out of use

And she'll network 'til her dreams come true

Even if it means getting into bed with you"

14.i love you by Billie Eilish

Momo herself has used this song on her IG stories when she tried to blame Richard for something that she does (again,she's making herself the victim. Pathetic.)

"Maybe we should just try

To tell ourselves a good lie

I didn't mean to make you cry"

15.Can't Shake Loose by Agnetha Faltskog (1983)

"I can't shake loose

I try and I try but it ain't no use

I could go like I did before

But these old shoes keep walking to your door"

This is about how Richard keeps coming back to Momo despite of how bad it treats him. Ugh.

16.Dangerous by Depeche Mode (1990)

"Dangerous

The way you leave me wanting more

Dangerous

That's what I want you for

Dangerous

When I am in your arms

Dangerous

Know I will come to harm"

Yep,you guessed it. Momo made us believe Richard only wants her for sex. Or at least that's how I see it.

17.Corrupt by Depeche Mode (2009)

There's two lines that describe how Momo acts the victim.

"You think you're so special

Think you're so sweet"

"You'd be calling out my name

When you need someone to blame"

18.Scum by Depeche Mode (2017)

Not necessarily about Momo,this is more like a question for her.

"What are you going to do when karma comes

A' calling

And you're falling

And there's nowhere left to run"

19.Poison Heart by Depeche Mode (2017)

"From the moment we met

You know we have to break up

You'll always be alone

You know you've never ever been a friend

Now we're closer to the edge"

This,again,is about a possible future about Momo and Richard's relationship. I swear, if they break up for good,the whole Rammfandom is gonna party like there was no tomorrow.

And finally....

20.You by Marina (2019)

"I know what you're about (You)

But I need you now (You)

'Cause it's all about you (You)"

Since there's more than one song in here about the same topics,I'm just going to say that it's very clear about who is this song about.

And that's it! I apologise if I had repeated myself way too much during this post.And Richard, please, listen to your fans. They want nothing but your own happiness.

Enjoy the tea!

[applekitty]

ive noticed that a LOT of fanfics that try to redeem dedede really dont try. like its not like the author is lazy but the way its executed is

i have never read a fic wherein dedede is given a satisfactory redemption arc, he’s usually just nice from the beginning and very flat with the same personality every other ‘game’ dedede has, basically just ‘i am loud, i’m not mean or cruel im just loud and also im very sassy and a dad dont mess with me im epic’ which seems at first like it might substitute for his evil nature but it doesn’t

or he’s just really outrageously stupid, which is more anime dedede. 

i do agree with you, though i think dedede in and of himself is a hard character to do perfectly ‘correctly’. because when it comes to game canon, there is no correct way to write him. because dedede has no personality. he has hints of personality. which is not replacement for a personality. you are left entirely to your own devices when it comes to dedede’s flaws and his entire mindset in general, because canon supports absolutely everything you could ever put onto his canvas. i could say dedede is a hostile matriarch with no care for anyone other than himself and his kingdom and it’d be supported, because the only times dedede has been forced to act out of good is to defend his planet from something (potentially, in magolor’s case) hostile. or i could say he’s just a cozy uwu dad who’s done some wrong but he’s fluffy and cute nao and canon would sort of shakingly support that.

i went out a LOT about this on the hnk discord server. i’ll leave the entire transcript below but it’s about how people write game canon / why i don’t read game canon fics / the intrinsic, EXTREME difficulty with writing game canon fics. had this convo with @sociallyunacceptableorb , @toon-kirby , and azuranaito

i’ll tl;dr it here but: the reason why game fics seem a little strange while going in is because the games themselves lack a solid personality for the characters. fanon personality exists for them, and usually when writers write for them, they step in such a way which may not align with you, the viewer’s expectations of the fanon personality. it may seem inherently unsatisfying, to you, but for others, it’s very satisfying. the status of game canon and fandom canon makes it harder for you to be satisfied by the fanfics you read unless they are very surface level, boring sorts of fanfics. 

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:40 PM

kitty’s opinion time

most writers cannot go without incorporating the anime in some regard to kirby content due to how much the anime had bled into the interpretations of the games. people will write spanish meta knight as a game thing, people will write kirby being babyish / saying poyo being a game thing, as well as dedede being southern a game thingthe writers who decry the anime as bad / only good ‘at the time’ yet use anime personalities / interpretations make me lul extremely.(edited)

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:44 PM

Galaxia was from the anime.

Girlaxia was from 4Kids.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:45 PM

kirby saying ‘poyo’ is an anime thing, galaxia is an anime thing, to pick and choose from the anime shows that the games and their lack of writing cannot stand on its own without having to take from the very franchise that’s being decryed to help a worse written franchise

(edited)

no writing / intrigue writing ≠ good writing

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:47 PM

To be fair, it’s probably for the best that anime bleeds into the games or else we’d be stuck with oceans of edgelordery KIRBY IS EVUL AND EATS INNOCENT LIVES… though that’s already on AO3.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:47 PM

looks at matpat

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:48 PM

He ignores all canon to make people mad on purpose.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:48 PM

honestly if removing anime canon / anime’s bleed into the video game’s interpretation = writers to go 'KIRBY EVUL’ then idk what to say other than lul

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:49 PM

I mean, I don’t think the games writing is shit, but I also don’t trust edgy people with Void Termina.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:50 PM

i think saying 'game writing > anime writing’ is just blatantly.. wrongbecause that’s just saying 'little to no writing so that way you can focus on gameplay > a literal 22 episode made for television with themes and lessons’

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:51 PM

Oh! Yeah, that I agree on.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:51 PM

i also dont trust edgelords with kirby or void honestly

or any kirby characters

i dont trust edelords period

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:51 PM

I thought you were saying that all game lore was trash.

It’s crumbs.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:51 PM

i used to be one and i made EVERYTHING baaad

it’s comparing crumbs to a loaf of bread

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:52 PM

“Well, I hate pumpernickel! So the entire loaf is bad!”

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:52 PM

uerGHERUG

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:53 PM

“But you haven’t even eaten it.”“IT’S BAD.”…this metaphor is getting lost.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:53 PM

honestly it’s why i just.. dont read game fics, because there’s little to no ground for writers to stand on and write stuff with

things get too wild and they feel just.. weird ig

i dont know how to put it into words, really

AzuraLast Wednesday at 12:54 PM

That kinda makes me mad with what happened with one of my friends. People got onto her for crossing the anime and games together, which, when she wrote it, it wasn’t bad at all, but because the anime was involved people wanted to bitch at her for it.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:54 PM

interps of game canon are based purely off the person who writes it and all the people reading said thing all have different interpretations which inherently makes reading a game fic unsatisfying and ooc for you personally because your hc filled in the void the game left differently than the authors did. but for the writer it is ic.(edited)

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 12:55 PM

Like gijinka fic?

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:56 PM

reading mirror fics also, inherently, can be unsatsifying i think

for the same reasons

people have so many different interps of how mirror world works that reading anything about it, just on its core basis that the author uses to define a 'mirror world’ can feel unsatisfactory

gijinka as well suffers from this

AzuraLast Wednesday at 12:57 PM

My friend didn’t write gijinka. But she self projected quite a bit onto Meta; her HC for him was that he was an engineer trained under Haltmann.Which also ended up writing out the actual irl problems her major has which is an aerospace engineering.Hoo boy, with the Mirror World, there’s no clear line with it but the majority is usually edgy.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 12:58 PM

people have different interps, and because of how the western world works, we all think our interpretation is the best we can possibly have. usually when we read things we suspend our disbelief, and when it comes to kirby fics, game fics, gijinka fics, i don’t think people can really.. deeply get involved in them.it’s a problem fics i suppose in general have. but it’s especially bad for game canon writers, or gijinka writers.people have hugely different adaptations of the same subject. with the anime there’s clearly written rules and characters defined over the course of 100 episodes. there’s a clear cut story with lots of dialogue and content there to be tackled. but even still, it can be interpreted differently by different people because thats how life works. only the existence of a canon episode cannot be refuted; a fic can be

game canon is harder to do because yes you have the games, and a lot of them, but there is no writing. it is all gameplay. which means that personalities and dialogue and whatever else is not the focus. people can have extremely varying interpretations of canon because of this, which is what intrinsically makes game canon harder to write for. with anime canon it’s easier to write closer to canon because there is a clear cut one. but with game canon, there is no clear cut canon.

AzuraLast Wednesday at 1:02 PM

That’s also why so many people also freak out about all the supposed lore the games have, right?

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:02 PM

the lore in games is very open ended is the thing, so it leads to people’s speculation and very different extrapolations of the lore and canon, yes

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:03 PM

Yup! It adds to their own things; it’s satisfying less for the confirmation and more for the new content to tinker with.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:03 PM

kirby is very, VERY dry in terms of story telling in the games, so any piece of lore given is EXTREMELY important for content creators / theorists(edited)

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:04 PM

I can’t really fault people who build off lore since it’s such a personal thing. Other people get huffy and whine about them “not really appreciating the game” but I find it is appreciation, just in a different fashion. It goes downhill once people get childish and argumentative, though.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:05 PM

the thing is people can also do that ^ for the anime too

remember that one server you were talking about in #newbie-chat

lol

in the end we are the people going 'you are not appreciating the anime right and the way you write for the games is going to intrinsically be unsatisfying unless you go onto the crutch of anime lore'i do anime/game fusion because i know the games can’t stand on their own

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:08 PM

Aheh. But of course.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:08 PM

[snobbish laughter]

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:08 PM

I actually don’t for the same reason. It feels cheap, like I’m forcing a square peg into a round hole.The barebones of the games doesn’t mesh with the backstory of the games that well for me.

StarRodPiplupLast Wednesday at 1:09 PM

So, like, if I wrote a fic with a sentient Galaxia, and then threw the rest of anime canon in the trash, it wouldn’t be cool?

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:09 PM

it’d be relying on the anime canon in some regard, showing that the game canon can’t hold its own

StarRodPiplupLast Wednesday at 1:09 PM

Too many plot holes

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:10 PM

it would be a tad bit jarring, at least in my opinion because im the local brutal 4kids anime stan

but for other people it wouldnt be, i’m just a person with too much time to complain about kirby

StarRodPiplupLast Wednesday at 1:11 PM

I’ve been really curious if “a nightmare of a galactic crisis” was just a coincidence or a deliberate lore inspired word choice, hence why I’ve steered away from capitalist idiot nightmare….it’s fun to write him like that though.

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:11 PM

Also, if it’s a prequel… where the hell does Tiff go? The Cappies? Cappy Town? Dedede just abandons everybody for no reason and there’s a fountain powered by something that Kirby had to create by eating?

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:11 PM

schrodingers cappytown

AzuraLast Wednesday at 1:12 PM

I would like to know my own headcanons give my own appreciation to both the anime and the games. Games can’t stand alone with their bare bones and the anime can always be expanded upon. Nothing wrong with having fun while writing, that’s all it is, isn’t it?

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:13 PM

honestly i think the best way to write kirby stuff is anime/game fusions

i wonder if it’s because thats what i write HMMMMMMEIUGUIERGHERG

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:13 PM

I fuse. I go by manga lore.

Novel, whatever.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:13 PM

novel lore or bust

AzuraLast Wednesday at 1:14 PM

I fuse because it feels the most natural for me.

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:14 PM

Because the novels actually build on it! They don’t pop backstory in everywhere! It’s just a Kirby game with more explanations for stuff in it!

StarRodPiplupLast Wednesday at 1:14 PM

I just wanna write about an evil vampiric wizard for some reason

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:14 PM

the games do need something to help them, i believe. when it comes to content creation of the purely fic type, anywayscourtesycalling does great one-shot comics and what not, they do game lore to the t because their comics are.. well.. oneshots. they’re satisfying by themselves

anyways i’ve got a lot of feelings on people decrying the anime as bad or cool to hate then taking things from the anime and putting it into game lore. that’s mostly what this is about

AzuraLast Wednesday at 1:17 PM

It seems kind of hypocritical in a sense too, doesn’t it?“Oh, I hate the anime but love the games but I’ll piss on the anime as I write my fic because even though I love the games I need to strong bones of the anime to hold me up as I write my fic.”

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:18 PM

yeah that’s sorta what im on about here thank you for summarizing it for me

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:18 PM

Yep! I joke about it a lot myself.Especially people using 4kids voices when they say 4Kids is trash.

AzuraLast Wednesday at 1:18 PM

Same, all it seems to be is a freaking joke.

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:18 PM

Sorry for turning this into a Steven Universe-esque debate thread.

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:19 PM

i instigated it

:v

Garlude Smoocher (Shirley)Last Wednesday at 1:19 PM

:v

chingkittycatLast Wednesday at 1:19 PM

it’s an interesting thread anyways so

[zonamievents]

What’s A Kiss Worth?

Theme #1: First Kiss Rating: T / 14A (alcohol use) Pairing: Zoro x Nami

Arms wrapped around each other’s waists, choosing their steps at random, Zoro and Nami wobbled back to the Thousand Sunny like the drunks that they were. Their combined clumsiness was rather hilarious in their eyes and they strolled along the dock while laughing at how silly they imagined themselves to be in that moment. After a long night of drinking, with the sun promising to rise very soon, they had made the collective decision to head back to the Thousand Sunny… to continue the party in a place where it was safe to pass out once they were done. His favorite beer in hand and her stolen wine in hers, there was still the opportunity for a good time to be had.

Under the natural light of a crescent-shaped moon, the pair of them mounted the side of the Sunny before slinking onto the lawn deck with a thud. Simultaneously, they turned to one another and commanded that they shush, but Zoro nearly forgot the warning as soon as he issued it. In fact, so forgetful was he that he stretched his arms high above his head and let out the loudest yawn a person could possibly emit. 

“Hey!” Nami snorted when she whacked him on the back, unable to hide how amusing his comedic timing apparently was. However, her swift surprise startled him and Zoro let his grip loosen on the neck of his beer. His honed reflexes refused to let that happen though, and he snatched it out of the air rather possessively before taking another sip. While he let the lukewarm drink travel down his throat, he heard a slowly issued praise. “Nice catch.”

Zoro was dramatic when he accepted her acknowledgment of his skills, going so far as to smirk before nonchalantly answering, “That was nothing.

”This time when she laughed, he felt like he was left out of the joke. His tired eye blinked in her direction as he awaited a response, but he was forced to wait as Nami tried to lift her long hair off of the back of her neck for some relief from the heat. “Mm, I bet those ladies at the bar would be swooning over you right ab’at now.” Slurring her words meant she was nearly ready to fall asleep, Zoro realized, picking up on her drinking tells way back when in the Grand Line. 

Still, she managed to look rather as confident, as sneaky, as… Nami as ever.

Despite his admiration of her, he groaned and threw out his free hand in protest. “Naw, they just wanted me to buy them booze.”

“Which is so funny since I’ve got all’a your money!” screeched Nami without hesitation.

For once, he found her cruel humor funny and joined her in sneering at the foolish girls they had met that night. “Imagine if I told them to talk to the boss.” Then, he motioned at the accountant of the crew, even bending his knees slightly as if he was considering bowing to her as a fake gesture. Just picturing the shock and disappointment on their faces made the two of them fall to their knees on the grassy floor, their stomachs in pain after all of the laughter they had shared tonight.

Falling together allowed them to find a place on the bottom step of the staircase next to one another, despite how awkward it was for them realistically. Whenever they drank like this, Zoro always found himself drawn to Nami for her natural love of alcohol, her endurance for copious amount of drinking he liked to do, and the fact they were very similar drunks. Meaning it wasn’t the first small step they ended up on during one of their nights out and it definitely wouldn’t be the last.Once they caught their breath, Nami dropped her head against his shoulder and sighed, her small body still shaking when she tried to carry on with the conversation. “At least ya won your tab.”

“Yeah,” was the easiest reply he could think of. He somehow managed to follow her train of thought, from money and free drinks to the contest he won that night against the local drunk in order to get out of having to pay his bill. She had been cheering him on the entire time like some kind of drill sergeant but he knew it helped him along to have her screaming in his ear the entire time. 

She snuggled into his shoulders once, so softly, he nearly missed it. Then, Nami lifted her head and grinned with that fiendish glint in her eye. “We should try to do that whenever we go out now.”

“Wha?” was the quickest yet dumbest reply that came to mind. “Get a contest going for free drinks! That way, even if Luffy somehow loses all’o’a treas-ja, we still get ta drink!” Her tongue was getting lazier, but Zoro found it amusing when she tried to be conniving when she couldn’t even stand.He also couldn’t argue with that logic. 

“Yeah, I’ll do it. Just yell out, ‘I’m the best drinker in the world-‘!” Or so he tried to proclaim, but a dainty hand slammed down on top of his mouth to silence him. He groaned with dejection as he stared into her eyes, completely put out by the fact that she would try to keep him from claiming his title in the chilly, late night air.

Her big brown eyes leered into him. Nami looked as if she was pouting before she demanded, “Shhh! I don’t want sober people waking up!”

That description of their crew mates made him snort against her hand, sending her slightly wet palm flying. “But I’m right.” He whined without any shame, glaring a dagger or two at her with his one good eye. She ignored his claim, returning the conversation to their scheme as if there had never been any kind of interruption. 

Nami looked to the sky as she strategized, looking as if she was trying to find the answers in the heavens since her mind was still rather foggy. “You gotta walk right up to the biggest guy in the room and say” – in her deepest voice, she did her best to imitate him – “hey, bastard! I can drink so much more beer than you!”

Zoro fell forward and slapped his leg, thoroughly entertained by her interpretation of him. It was so hilarious that his laugh was just as loud as his proclamation earlier, but he wasn’t scolded into lowering his voice this time around. Even if she tried, how was he supposed to contain himself when her impersonation was the worst thing he had ever seen?

“Zoro!” Now it was her turn to whine at him. He apologized by throwing his body back until he was nearly laying on the stairs, his laughter barely stifled in his chest. He even tried curling his lips in, but his cheeks just ended up puffing out in protest. Seeing her drunken fury grow and grow wasn’t help him any either.

Mercilessly, Nami shoved at his chest, ready to give up on the first version of their plan. “Fine! Then what if I challenge someone?” He froze, he blinked, waiting for her to elaborate. His silence seemed to encourage her, so much so that she shoved him again, but her tipsy equilibrium made her topple onto his chest when she was too rough. “Or! Or I will say that you will challenge him and the loser pays the winner’s—”

He waited and waited and waited for her to finish her sentence, figuring that she only had one word left. As more seconds ticked by, he started to wonder what could have caused her to choke on her words, until he realized that she was worried that she’d have to pay two bills if he lost. “OI!”

“No, wait!” Nami demanded his silence as she climbed higher up his body, the twinkle in her eyes nearly blinding him. “I…I’ll say” – now, she was imitating herself if she were trying to trick a guy in a bar, playing the sly, breathy, innocent girl she pretended to be – “If we win, you pay for a-a-all of our drinks. But if you win, you get a bi-i-ig kiss.” As if he was the man she was propositioning. In confusion, his expression became cross. 

“But that’s not the same as lots of beer.” Zoro blurted out his observation because he thought that, if he was in that poor sucker’s shoes, he’d never agree to such a bargain!

But when Nami leaned in, breasts pressed against his chest, orange hair draped over their bodies, her lips claiming his, Roronoa Zoro felt as if he had been struck by one of his thunderbolts from the top of his head to the soles of his shoes. His lips returned her kiss reflexively, instinctively, his sense of caution for a moment with Nami somehow much softer than it was when he nearly dropped his drink. He let her taste the alcohol on his mouth, and feel the warmth of his inebriated skin, and…he found himself wanting to reach out to her too. In fact, the typically guarded swordsman was ready to let himself fall victim to the moment and indulge in her—

She released his lips without moving more than an inch away from his face. “Yeah, it is.” She murmured, informing him that he was wrong after she effectively stunned him into silence. Then, she nodded her head once, twice, and by the third time, he realized that it was more like her head was bobbing up and down before she passed out on top of him. Her forehead dropped into the crook of his neck, her snoring instantly filling his ears the moment she crashed. 

While she slept soundly, Zoro quarreled with the reflexive response he had, telling him to push her to the other side of the stairs and go sleep somewhere else. They had kissed, she was on top of him, after an entire night of drinking – he could hear the love cook screaming already! But… he was still inebriated, and it made him lazy. He had held Nami before in moments where it was necessary, never before in an instant of affection like this. Was it so wrong if he didn’t mind it? They were drunk, they passed out, which was something they had done many times before whether they were alone or together. So she was asleep on his chest after she kissed him… so what?

Right?

Drunk Zoro decided that it was a sober Zoro’s problem to deal with, because he liked the way it felt to have her close like this. He didn’t need to squeeze her tight, but he did place a loose arm over her back to keep her bikini-covered back warm while they slept through the last couple hours of night. It was something he never knew he wanted, yet his instincts were telling him that it was a line that he was happy she crossed. As he took advantage of the strange satisfaction, he felt himself chuckle one last time before passing out too. 

Until he realized that there was no way he was letting her little scheme happen now, and he fell asleep with his typical Zoro frown on his face.        

((Ta da! Day one - done! I wrote this quick literally at midnight to make sure I posted something with the first day of the event~ It’s something small and fun, something flirty to enjoy for Zoro and Nami’s first kiss, and I hope you enjoyed it! Until next time! ~ Maiden))

[bastard-man]

s13:

hi okay i kept talking in the tags on my last post so here is more about s13 predictions ig

like i said we all know den literally can't function without mac it's been proven several times in the show

CLEARLY in mac & dennis break up

& my thought is how this will affect s13

so like,,,they're lying if they're gonna try & pretend like dennis can actually cope w/o mac if anything i think he needs him more than ever rn. even if dennis miraculously developed quickly & amazingly enough 2 be a dad that doesn't change how much he depends on mac. boy couldn't live without him in s5, and he was still like, okay then? obviously none of these characters r okay but i've seen only a few ppl mention dennis in the latest seasons. consequently mac seems happier this past season especially now that he's out which is great (i mean then u have DDL & then that kinda shattered but let's not mention that rn) but like we know dennis has been like,,,ragin' a lot more & he was diagnosed in s10 & we haven't really seen him happy in awhile like compared 2 earlier seasons when he seemed more calm & happy. what he thinks he needs is to leave his old life behind but what he actually needs, probably, is the gang rn more than ever but ofc he's not gonna admit that! so he run!

there's a number of reasons why i can't see them letting den be gone for any length of time but the main one being that it just doesn't make sense? like frank said u can't just go be a dad & he was right, & even if i think dennis could be capable of that it's obvious he's getting Worse & to be away from his friends, his family rn is not gonna help that, especially when we know he would be miserable in ND which is literally essentially what he says in 10.01 when he gets off the plane. i'm not a dumbass who thinks he's a sociopath & i know he has big feelings but i still don't see this being a situation where a child is magically the thing 2 crack dennis & fix all his problems

so like, there's my argument based on just the POV of the setting. now let's go back 2 den himself. like i said it definitely seems like he's getting worse, & him admitting that he has feelings was a huge, pivotal thing for him especially to admit that to the entire gang. from there they could use that to finally get den's character to open up a lil more & not try to suppress everything which i think is essentially why he seems worse? he wants to be one way & not feel & it's affecting him as it has over the years. we also know from mac, that he's been distant w him. whether u ship them or not they have a connection that's different from all the rest. so mac senses that den is acting different& like pushing him away, & we know it's not bc he's gay cuz den always knew that. this is where theories come into play, cuz it could have to do w den's feelings & trying to push the gang away so that he can pretend everything is okay which i think is a reasonable guess, or if u wanna add another layer to that there's also been the mention of him being uncomfortable with mac being out because now he's scared of mac's feelings & his own feelings.

it could be bc of the thing b/w them, or just the different connection that they have, but mac is the only one who says anything about dennis being distant. so is he only being distant w mac, or do the others just not notice bc they're not mac? either way mac is the one who notices & he's gonna be the first one to notice things going on w dennis. den has been like on a downward spiral almost & i think the RPG & brian jr just brought that to a head, & he runs, supposedly 2 deal w the latter. (i'm sorry i'm referring 2 a fuckin baby like it's a war crime but i don't evenl like them anyway so it's fine)

like depending on how u wanna interpret it, RPG=dennis realizing how he feels about mac, or how mac feels about him, or just the fact that he was all upset about vday only 2 find out mac got him what he wanted more than anythin & it didn't even matter 2 him that there wasn't a rocket bc it was the gesture so i mean interpret that how u will but FEELINGS

& then brian jr=who he apparently knew about but only becomes a problem bc mandy all of a sudden decides 2 show up & also thinks he's someone else so i really still don't understand some of the logic behind this event but anyhow. he's like noticeably v on edge this ep bc he literally had no idea how 2 get out of it & then all of a sudden he's like wait no i don't want to, but that's not the only thing? pretending to be in a relationship w mac & mac telling him he wanted 2 fake it & raise the kid w him was obviously also adding onto that & still his response was "im not gonna PRETEND to be in a relationship w u for the entirety of my child's life" so again interpret that how u will but...obviously we know he decides 2 go raise brian jr

but he's not gonna be able to do that. not bc he's not capable. i'd like 2 point out he left everyone & everything behind including his RPG & his beloved range rover, so i mean he prob left everything at his apartment too. (i have some theories bout this but it is not the time for those) like his car. is still in philly. his decision is made essentially on a whim after a moment w his kid & like an existential crisis while his friends danced around him bc up until that point he just didn't wanna deal w it

so it could've been like a few hours b/w those scenes but it's still a pretty impulsive decision considering it's a child, a new state you don't even like, a lovely woman ur not interested in, and leaving your friends, family, job, and entire life back in philly. maybe he also thinks it'll help him w his feelings. but he's been repressing shit for at least 12 years that we've seen (we know it's been longer like prob his whole life) & noticeably been getting worse, gives a sudden revelation to his friends about his feelings, & then leaves. that's not...okay. like we know they all have trauma & ridiculously unhealthy coping mechanisms but even if u take everything else away he's not gonna be happy having suppressed all his emotions and problems & then leaving having barely dealt with them w the others at all.

especially mac, who's a huge part of this which u can't deny even if u don't ship them. now i do so like my comments are gonna sway a bit more but i think it'll still work even if u don't agree w me on that aspect. personally i think there could be some sort of parallel there about how mac has gotten happier, while dennis has been more unhappy? like mac comes out & u could even argue dennis being jealous & acting that way bc he wants 2 come out & he's been suppressing that for so long but he's still not at a place rn to do it. or even the fact that mac feels more open & free to be himself while dennis feels the complete opposite & if anything has felt like repressing things even more, while mac mentions being sensitive (12.08 hints he feels more free 2 be sensitive now that he's out & doesn't have 2 worry about being so masculine so that he won't be called gay) & dennis mentions his big feelings but he's still not rlly talking about anything bc i mean u don't really just reveal everything suddenly. so especially in that regard he definitely needs mac.

like not only bc of their connection but bc he depends so much on mac & now mac feels more open & honest & i really think den needs to be around him more, not pushing him away (which could also be why) bc he needs to see how much happier mac is & how he's changed & maybe it'll help him open up more, & if anything mac would probably be the best one for him to do that w anyway.

i'm also gonna mention my sort of views on some ways den could come back: now considering his car was still there i think it could even be possible that mac goes home to their apartment to find that dennis is still there, maybe just waiting or maybe packing, who knows. them blowing up the range rover & using the RPG without him only to find that he hadn't left yet, or at all is definitely something i could see happening (& i know this is a more serious post about den but come on i think we'd all laugh @ that) or the thing i definitely see happening is the gang talking in the bar, who knows how long it's been (maybe a day, maybe a few months) & all of a sudden dennis strolls in and says nothing, walks behind the bar & grabs a beer while the others just stop talking and stare. cue title card "dennis is back" (tbh this is one of the most realistic ones i think & i know glenn mentioned it might be funny if he just didn't come back at all but i think this is vastly more funny & in keeping w the show i mean come ON) or there's like the sad part. this again could depend on how u wanna view things. but if u look at it as dennis going on a downward spiral, only for him to kinda hit rock bottom w the RPG & brian jr. (which isn't even a theory that's literally what happened) then we know this isn't good. it's not a typical situation where they leave on good terms, or they leave happy because we know he wasn't happy. we know he initially didn't want this & isn't ready & we know he hates north dakota, & we also know it's not like he's in love w mandy or anything no matter how nice she seemed, as the person he was closest to was: mac. so it's not like he's really leaving for a better lifestyle either necessarily, because he may have mentioned envisioning himself getting married & having a kid but we saw how it went when he married someone he didn't love, and how he again was unable to function without mac, and it's obviously not how anyone plans on those things happening, & if they did have him settle down w mandy which i do not see ever happening we know he'd literally be settling.

so for him to have been going through a rough patch, to hit an extremely low point & then walk away from his friends, is not going to end well. he hit that low point & is now leaving without dealing with any of his problems because his focus is on fixing one of them: the kid, but also how he was affected by frank because he doesn't want the kid to grow up in that same way. so he thinks that's the most important issue, because he also likes to pretend he doesn't have any other ones, & thinks this is the thing he needs to deal with and everything will be fine. but he didn't deal with anything else, he's only bringing those problems with him, to north dakota, to mandy, to the kid, to his "new life." so if anything he's only gonna be more miserable and he won't even have mac there w him, who he literally depends on to function & considering he's only getting worse being w/o mac is the last thing he needs even if he thinks, or wants to believe that that's exactly what will help. idk how they're gonna deal w him being gone, if he's gone for any length of time or anything, but my point is if he's stated to be gone for months or something like that i'm pretty sure he's gonna come back at the worst we've ever seen him because he was only without mac for hours before he realized he had no idea what to do & they were only, what, a few miles away? part of all this is that he's codependent but that is most heavily dealing with mac. s5 dennis was still doing pretty okay, considering. so him not functioning without mac was just pathetic. s12 dennis has been a mess & him being without mac at arguably his lowest point is kind of scary to think about.