#it would be so awesome if I could do that

[luveline]

jade my lovely, i would kill for more early season spencer and bombshell!reader. i love them sm!! (i also love seeing the mentions of elle, like that’s my bbg)

“You aren’t still mad.”

You take a sip of your coffee and refuse to answer. 

Elle rolls her eyes. It’s unrestrained, as is her deep sigh. “Whatever.” 

You drink more coffee. Think about it, can’t contain it, “Whatever yourself, Greenaway.” 

“I want it just as bad as you do.” 

“But I’m better.” 

“You’re not better. You’re less likeable, there’s a difference.” 

You weren’t surprised when they chose Elle for the open BAU position, but you were gutted nonetheless. Pretending it doesn’t bother you comes easily, just not when she’s rubbing it in your face. “Can you leave that?” 

She hands over the stapler she’d been about to put in her cardboard. You don’t own one, and you decide to forgive her when she hands it to you without argument. “You want anything else?” 

“No, it’ll just remind me of you.” You sniff. 

“At least you’ll have an empty desk beside yours for a while. It’ll be good for your afternoon meditation.” 

“Hopefully, they’ll fill your absence with a very attractive new recruit.” You’d like that, a hottie to crush on. Now Elle’s leaving, you’ll have no one to project your fantasies on to make it through the work day. “How will you cope?”

“What, without you?” Elle asks. 

“With all the BAU hotties. Everybody on that team is maddeningly attractive,” you say with a put upon swoon, back of your hand curled and thrown to land against your forehead. 

“I didn’t realise you felt that way about Jason Gideon. Perhaps if you’d made that known, you’d be packing your desk up instead of me,” Elle laughs. 

“Well, maybe not Gideon. But the rest of them. Derek… if you take him seriously, he’s gorgeous. And Hotch–”

“He’s married. And older than us by ten years.” 

“He’s handsome, is what he is. So quietly funny and moody. I’m not telling you to ruin his marriage, I’m just saying he’s distracting.” 

“And Spencer Reid?” she asks. 

You grin. “He’s cute.” 

“Morgan said you asked him out for coffee?” 

“He wanted to tell me about water bugs.” It was sudden but sweet, he’d started a tangent on how they can walk on water because they’re small and hydrophobic, then asked if you really wanted to know, which you did. 

“He’s cute,” Elle says, raising her brows. 

“Have you seen him turn to the side? His jawline is ridiculous.” 

“He looks a little… dorky,” Elle says finally. She isn’t mean-spirited, just honest about her tastes. 

“I like dorks. And I really loved him, he was adorable. Derek’s been hazing him, so maybe you could be nicer? I think he really needs a friend.” 

“You don’t want to be that friend?” 

You smile. “I do. But I can’t exactly do that from Sex Crimes.” 

“Well, you can help me carry my stuff to the BAU. Come on.” 

“And look desperately needy? Is there anything worse than going where you’re not wanted?” 

“Morgan will be happy to see you. Maybe Dorky Spencer will be there to tend your BAU shaped wounds.” 

“You’re heartless, Greenaway.” 

You put your arms out obediently for her box. She grabs her jacket and her bag, gives her desk a last sweep, and turns away. It’s the last time she’ll ever sit at her desk in the Sex Crimes Unit, and it’s the most envious you’ve ever been of a friend. You want more than anything to be in her position. Profiling isn’t mythical to you, it’s a science you’ve studied, and you believe you could do it well if they just gave you time to learn on the job like they’ve done for Elle. 

But the position is filled. There’s no room left on the team. 

No need for a sex crimes expert now they’ve chosen Elle. 

You’re going to have to make yourself useful in other ways, or play politics, or, better, make friends. 

Hotch likes you, you know that, and Derek’s awesome. Gideon is the one you need to convince, but for some reason he’s totally sworn off of you. Luckily for you, he isn’t out in the BAU office when you enter, it’s just Derek, Spencer Reid, and Elle’s waiting desk. 

“Hi boys,” she greets. 

Derek turns. 

Spencer puts down his book. You meet his eyes. 

You’re far more flirty than Elle. “Hi, Derek. Hi, Dr. Reid.” 

Derek grins and takes Elle’s box from your arms. “Hi, girls. Happy moving day.” 

You don’t really want to talk about it, think about it, or come off as a jealous jerk, so you do a little bit of performance. “What are you reading?” you ask Spencer, pretending to be interested, hoping he’ll throw you a rope. You spot a familiar creature on the cover and your smile legitimises. “Is that about pond skaters?” 

“It’s Small Freshwater Creatures,” he says, shy but somehow firm, too. His tone changes as he relays facts. “It’s an identification guide, but it does talk about the specifics.”

“You really like bugs, huh?”

“I wanted to know more about it in case you came back.” 

You can’t help grinning. “That's really sweet,” you say earnestly, “did you learn anything new? You sounded like an expert already.” 

“They’re predators. They eat mosquito larvae.” 

“Oh, awesome, so if we had a few more pond skaters in the world we’d be better off.” 

You prop yourself on Spencer’s desk as he begins to rattle of facts and figures. Not too far away, Elle and Derek talk under their breaths. 

“Is it me, or is she into him?” Derek asks. 

“Maybe more than she realises.” Elle bites back a smile, stealing glances at you from over Derek’s shoulder. You’re more interested in what he has to say than anything she’s seen on you before. You lean in, your eyes bright. A little flirty, ever so slightly teasing, but genuine, too, as Spencer begins a quick spiel. 

“Well, he’s a goner,” Derek laughs. 

Elle doesn’t know about that. You don’t play with people’s hearts. 

There’s a teeny, tiny strand of shyness to you as you touch your neck. You begin rolling the chain links of your necklace along your finger, causing poor Dr. Reid to lose his train of thought. Two people entirely unaware of the road they’re embarking on. 

“Do you guys have a stapler?” Elle asks. “I lost mine in the divorce.” 

[audliminal]

It's just a game, right? Pt 2

pt 1

"It's like. Crazy, y'know?" Bernard's voice echoes in Tim's ears as he fiddles with his mask. "Like, when they started posting, I was kinda meh about it? I mean the first few videos they posted were just like. Basic shitty, scrambled audio, and the first clues were just like, real simple. Basic word replacement stuff; mostly vigenères, right? But now it's- they're using everything! The current drop is. It's layers, man. And I think it's intentional."

"Isn't it supposed to be intentional? I thought that was like, the whole point of an ARG."

"No I mean, like yeah obviously the clues are intentional, but like. The way the difficulty curve is just increasing. When this started it was so easy, but I don't think it was because they like, didn't know what they were doing or anything. Which, cool yeah that makes sense, you want people to buy in before it gets super hard or whatever, but there are, like all these threads that never went anywhere. And everybody kind of wrote them off as red herrings because they didn't seem to fit into the narrative that we had so far, but I can't stop thinking about them, you know?"

"I mean, they could still be red herrings, couldn't they?"

"Well, technically, yeah, but like. Why? It's one thing to have a dead end that maybe calls back to a previous clue or, like, reaffirms some detail from before but having something completely unconnected seems like a weird choice. Especially when the creator keeps telling us to dig deeper."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Tim asks with a laugh.

"No that's the thing!" Bernard's voice goes intense, and Tim momentarily stops putting his mask back together. "Literally every fucking drop those exact words are hidden somewhere in the mess of encryptions, and as things get more complicated, it's showing up more not less. And that together with all the fucking loose details that don't seem to fit in anywhere? I'm literally on the verge of going back to the beginning of the whole thing and solving it from scratch, bc I think we're missing a lot." Tim kind of forgets, sometimes, how similar he and Bernard are, but the in his boyfriend's voice is one he's intimately familiar with. That combination of obsession and frustration - and obviously it's not really serious because like, it's an internet game, but it doesn't matter what the stakes are, being stuck on a puzzle fucking sucks, and he can't exactly patrol what with his broken ankle, so maybe a fun, no-stakes challenge would be good for him.

"We were planning on hanging out on Friday, so what if you walked me through it from the start, and maybe together we can come up with some answers?"

"Seriously? Dude that would be so awesome! I will teach you everything I know about code breaking!"

"I mean, I do know some things, you know. You think I didn't have a spy phase as a teenager?" Tim smiles at Bernard's responding laughter. It'll be nice, he thinks, to mess with a puzzle where nobody's life is at stake.

[literaila]

Does tsumiki ever bring her friends over for sleepovers?

“satoru,” you hiss, “what are you doing?”

the man in question is currently sneaking down the hallway, hand on the knob of tsumiki’s bedroom, lips immediately moving to a pout when he hears your voice.

and then he steps back. takes a second to collect himself. smiles. “i’m just checkin’ on the girls.”

you cross your arms, raising a brow at him. “oh, yeah? you’re not going in there to eavesdrop on tsumiki’s conversations and try to gossip with her friends?”

“i don’t gossip,” he says, but the way his hand is itching back towards the door is answer enough.

so you walk over to him, promptly flicking his forehead, and then grabbing his hand so you can drag him back down the hallway. “you cannot interrupt tsumiki’s girl night.”

“why not?” he asks, sounding oh so dejected. “you let me come to yours.”

you snort, forcing satoru down on the couch, standing in front of him as bodyguard. “there’s no letting involved. and it’s just me and shoko, anyway. this is a group of four girls.”

satoru leans back, crossing his arms. “i know that nanami goes, sometimes.”

you stare at him for a moment, thinking about how pretty he would look if he was just a statue and not a literal child. “you’re ridiculous,” you tell him, simply, and then you sit on the couch too.

and if you move close enough to touch your thigh to his, no one needs to know. and if your head automatically rests on his shoulder, well, that’s no one’s business.

but you do hold his hand—just to comfort him a little bit. you have to take care of your husband and his very fragile heart.

satoru kisses the top of your head, then he says, “i just want to be a part of girls night. tsumiki’s friends are so cool.”

“did you die and get replaced with a twelve year old girl?”

he sighs dramatically, hanging his head against yours. then he does it again, just in case you didn’t notice.

when you don’t say anything, he does it again. the point is clear.

“okay,” you laugh, patting his knee. “i get it.”

“i’m all alone,” he whines, leaning forward so he can rub his nose in your lap. “my daughter hates me.”

you hum. “i don’t think tsumiki hates anything.”

“well then her friends hate me.”

“yeah, probably, since you had to inspect them when they walked through the door.”

satoru pinches your leg. “that was for protection,” he tells you, voice muffled. “i don’t want anything to get to her.”

you laugh again because, well, that’s just a ridiculous accusation.

satoru groans into your thigh and shakes his head, managing to tickle and annoy you at the same time.

after 27 seconds of this, you sigh.

“if you want girls night,” you say, so reluctantly, “i’ll do it with you.”

satoru immediately sits up, looking at you with wide, eager alien eyes. “really?”

you shrug. “sure.”

“with face masks?”

“um… yes.”

“and painting nails? and bad 2000s movies? and sharing our deep dark secrets at two in the morning?”

“what kind of girls nights are you having, satoru?”

“oh, we can get megumi, too,” he’s musing, “i could bribe him with another manga collection, or one of those jackets that’s easy to get blood out of—“

“i’ll ask him,” you interrupt, “but i’m not forcing him to do anything. he might be asleep.”

and then satoru giggles like a maniac. “sure sure,” he says, waving you off. “this is going to be awesome.”

forget curses—you’ve just created your own monster.

[luimagines]

Ok hear me out I just thought of something.

We’re all familiar with the swan princess, right? If not, look it up it’s awesome. I love any and all iterations of that story.

ANYWAY!!!!!!! We all like a little romance in the fandom right? So lemme explain this thought I just had… a swan princess-ish type of LU story?

Basically, what if the Chain find a bird (you can pick any bird you want but I recommend a crow.) being injured by a small group of monsters. The Chain save the crow and heal its wounds before going about their business.

The crow then starts to follow them. It’s a little awkward at first but the crow eventually becomes like another member of their group like Epona and Wolfie (if this is pre Wolfie reveal. I’m not picky so anyone can say yes or no on that.) the crow helps them scout and navigate new areas, warns them of threats in the distance, and even brings them trinkets from time to time.

Anyway, one day after the Chain settle down for the evening they noticed the crow is on edge like its nervous… the Chain are wary because normally that means danger is around. But what actually happens boggles their minds. Once the sun has completely set and darkness falls upon the land… the crow turns into a girl (or whatever gender you want. I’m personally gonna go with a girl) who immediately is hiding in the bushes and asking to borrow a cloak. (Not everyone has magical clothes when they transform lol)

Turns out, the crow is actually a girl who was cursed! An evil warlock cursed her to forever be a crow except on the nights of a perfectly crescent, half, and full moon. When she can return to her human (or Hylian. Take your pick.) form. Basically, the warlock loved her beauty (or handsomeness.) and asked her hand in marriage three times. On the nights of a perfectly crescent, half, and full moon. She refused all three times. As revenge, he cursed her to take the form of a crow, a bird which was unanimously hated for being associated with evil. As far as she’s aware, she has to accept to warlock’s ‘love’ and marry him for the curse to break.

When questioned on her reasons for sticking around and helping them out, she simply told them that they saved her life. Anyone else would have left her to die… or finished the job themselves. She was grateful and wanted to repay the favor. Of course, she also wanted to see if the journey they were on could help her find another way to break her curse, but that was just a bonus. She really did want to repay the favor of helping her. She’s been through so much as a crow… like I said, they’re associated with evil so people aren’t the kindest towards them.

Obviously there’s another way to break the curse, but only the warlock knows that. I haven’t EXACTLY thought of the details, because I don’t wanna copy Swan Princess too much… but finding true love is the basics.

Alright lovelies, that’s as far as the idea has run. Plz feel free to take this idea and run with it! Pick your favorite boy and let your imagination run wild! Or commission our wonderful Pinky here (yes I’m advertising for you. Accept it!) to continue this little idea for you.

As for you, Pinky, plz give feedback! Love your content so much! Have a great day!

You know, I've actually never seen or heard the story of the Swan Princess. So if I do get commissioned for it, I guess I have some research to do. XD

I thought it was going to go the route of Kiri from CR Campaign 2, but I was delightfully surprised by the change! OR! Maybe I can twist them both together to avoid ripping off the Swan Princess as a whole.

I think this is a stellar idea. I like it! So cute! <3

Thank you for sending this in!

[llamaisllama777]

LAES,TSAMS,EAPS WEEKLY*/*DAILY REVIEW SHOW!!!!!

Okay, we had a lot of really good episodes today, so let's hurry up and talk about them!

First up, FAMILY MOMENTS! I love this thumbnail so much, especially Moon's face.. I .. I just love it!

I love how we get to learn about everyone's movie preferences. It's interesting learning these little random tidbits about them. It's fun. Also Sun...

SPY KIDS 3 IS GREAT, AND I WILL NOT HEAR OTHERWISE!!! 😡

Also, Prince of Egypt is a really good movie. You all should go watch it. Even if you aren't religious, it's really good and has some awesome animation and music. Seriously, if you haven't watched, please do. I think it's on YouTube for free???

This episode was cute.... ONTO THE TRAUMA!

Bout time, I was wondering when Nexus would try to kidnap Sun. Took longer than I expected... I wonder why? 🤔

This episode I think confirmed a theory I had...

New Moon/Nexus never cared.

I had this thought in the back of my head that Nexus never really cared about them. He never thought of them as family. He just saw them as people he was told to call family. They were NEVER his family. He never really cared. He just cared about Solar, but Solar never saw him as a brother. OOOFFFFF!

That hurts!

But I'm glad we know because DANG! The angst there!

Also, Sun is stronger than Nexus' chain ability (That ability where he forces people to the floor. I like to imagine purple chains form around the person when he uses that move)

Nexus was so close to kidnapping Sun....

BUT MONTY CAME IN STINKIN' CLUTCH!!!!!!

Monty FINALLY got to use the shotgun! He nearly killed Nexus there! Thank you, Nebula, for the starshells! The Astrals are starting to grow on me.

(Okay... maybe a was a little rash on the whole "Down with the Astrals" "Viva la revolution" thing!) Sorry, Astrals. Still don't really trust Taurus or Leo tho.

Things are getting serious! October is in like two weeks! The creator is still out there! Rez and Cetus are out there! And Dark Sun still has a stinkin' dragon! This is gonna be an exciting October! I'm so excited!

Also, thank you, Davis and Reed, for this picture of Monty with a shotty.

And lastly...

Okay, Eclipse looks like that one guy from the office that conspiracy theory guy. And Puppet just looks depressed.

Puppet really wants to catch the killer. It's really affecting her. It's the MCI incident all over again. And she clearly doesn't want anyone or herself to go through that again. Eclipse still won't watch movies with anyone. It's only a matter of time, though. The moment he says yes and joins them is the moment his redemption arc is complete for me!

So, Eclipse and Puppet have narrowed down the killer to 4 suspects. All employees of Fazbear.

1. Vincent

2. Some lady named Margo

3. A teenage intern who works in the daycare named Josh

4. And the repair man whose name I forget.

I don't think it's any of these guys. But I have a few theories on who the killer could be..

1. Michael Afton of this world. Eclipse did mention in one of the early episodes of the EAPS that the Michael of this world was/still is an employee of Fazbears.

2. Henry Emily. Just cause the angst that it would cause Puppet.

3. The Charlie of this world. Just cause again the angst it would cause Puppet being the killer of this world!

There is no way it's Wanda(the William of this world)

And I highly doubt it's Vincent or some rando employee.

It has to be someone important.

These episodes were amazing!

Davis, Reed, Kat, Valentine, you guys did amazing on these episodes again!

12/10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Extra point cause WOW!

Also shout out to this commentor for having the funniest comment on there.

Nebula, you are starting to become my favorite Astral!

Also, Patchnotes is a ship I really hope happens now!

[vodika-vibes]

Hiiiii!

Congrats on the 800 followers, it's awesome! 🤩

I'd like to request a Fox'ikaxReader (fem or gn, your choice 💗) with the movie marathon prompt, and let it be so fluffy like a cotton candy 🥺🥹💗

Thank yooouuu 🦊💗

Tonight

Summary: When you have to cancel date night due to circumstances beyond your control, you expect Fox to be angry. You don’t expect him to show up anyway.

Pairing: Commander Fox x GN!Reader

Word Count: 814

Prompt: Movie Marathon

Warnings: None

A/N: Thank you! And thank you for the request! I hope you like it~

Click HERE to be added to my taglist

You sniffle and bury yourself under another fleece blanket as you shiver.

It’s not fair. You had tonight's date planned for weeks, planned almost to the minute. And yet, when you woke up this morning, it was with a fever, a sore throat, and body aches.

Serves you right for ignoring your grandmother’s warning about her being sick and visiting her anyway.

And, while you were willing to take drugs and push through the illness, when Fox called you to ask when you wanted him to arrive for your date, he could tell that you were sick.

You didn’t even have the energy to argue against him when he told you that your health was more important than dinner.

He didn’t even sound disappointed, or maybe he did. Your head hurts too much to think about it too much.

You start when your doorbell rings. You’re not expecting company. Not anymore, at least.

But, even so, you roll off the couch and drape your fleece blanket around you like a cape, and walk over to the door. A press of a button unlocks the door, and another button allows the door to slide open, and you squint at the man on the other side of the door.

You really should have put your glasses back on.

Even without your glasses, though, you’re still able to recognize Fox.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, startled. Though you do move out of the way to let him in your home.

“I wanted to see you.” His reply is simple, “Besides, no one should be alone when they’re sick.” Fox holds up the canvas bag that he’s carrying, “I bring soup and movies.”

You blink at him, dumbly, for a moment. “You didn’t have to do that.”

A cool hand presses against your burning cheek and the noise you release can only be called a purr as you lean into the only comfortable thing you’ve felt all day.

Fox laughs, it’s a quiet and affectionate sound and you peer up at him. He’s standing close enough that he’s not blurry, and the look on his face—

Well, it’s reminiscent of the way that your dad looks at your mom when she’s not paying attention.

But you’re not quite able to handle that thought, so you push it to the side and focus on the more important comment he made, “You brought food?”

“I did.” Fox gently nudges you further into your apartment, “Go lay down, cyare.” 

Obediently, you stumble back to the couch and shove some of the many blankets to the floor so you’re able to sit on the actual couch. You grab your glasses and place them back on your face so you’re able to watch Fox properly.

“You’re sleeping on the couch?” He asks from the kitchen, where he appears to be sorting soup into two bowls.

“I tried resting in bed, but it felt like a boulder was lying on my chest,” You reply honestly. Though you regret your honesty when he crosses the room and kneels at your feet, his hand moving to press against your forehead.

“Do I need to call my medic to come and take a look at you?”

“I’m fine. It’s just a cold.”

He doesn’t believe you but accepts your words as fact for now. And then he returns to the kitchen and grabs the two bowls before he returns to your side. “I bought it from a place not far from here.” Fox explains, “Just eat what you can.”

“I don’t think I can eat two bowls,” You point out.

Fox laughs again, “Well, good. Because one of those belongs to me.”

“You’re staying? I thought—”

“What? That I would drop off soup and movies and let you fend on your own?” You feel his hand smooth over your hair, and you feel a surge of affection for the man who hasn’t sat down just yet, “Just because we had to cancel our formal date, doesn’t mean that we can’t still have a date.”

Great, now you want to cry because of how sweet he’s being.

“You…uh…you said you brought movies?”

“Yeah, I raided Thorn’s collection. I haven’t seen any of them.” Fox lifts the small device, “Though, Thorn really only watches horror movies, I hope you don’t mind.”

You shake your head, “You’re here to protect me.”

“Well, you’re not wrong about that.”

Half an hour later, you’re sprawled across Fox’s chest while the pair of you watch one of Thorn’s movies. Well, Fox is watching it, you’re more asleep than awake, your ear pressed over his heart.

He doesn’t seem all that bothered that you’re covered in blankets, or that you’re not really paying attention to the movies. And his hand slowly strokes your back, slowly easing you into slumber.

It’s not the date you had planned, but somehow it’s so much better.

@imabeautifulbutterfly

@n0vqni

@bad4amficideas

@justiceandwar98

@Mira-Loves-Star-Wars

@tiredbi-peach

@dukeoftheblackstar

@trixie2023

@kimiheartblade

@padawancat97

@falconfeather23435

@etod

@bb8-99

@kiss-anon

@continous-mistakes

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@cc--2224

@adriennelenoir

[redrose10]

Hey, Could I, please, have a story with picture number 2? It'd be awesome if you could turn it into a time traveller story, but you don't have to. I fully trust your talent and skills.

On the other hand, I think it's awesome how you could turn having very bad anxiety and panic attacks into such a nice short story. I hope you're better now. I don't know if you wrote it for the sake of the story or if it's true for you too, but The Last and Snooze are my two favourite songs from Yoongi :) I really loved that part in the story where you wrote about Yoongi's indigestion problems, it made me laugh.

Take care and get well soon :)

They are great songs that help a lot!

I hope this is okay. It’s kind of time traveler-ish but probably not what you were expecting. It’s spooky season themed too.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Here is number 2 from the picture game!

Warnings: mentions of death, very slightly suggestive, angst

Disclaimer: Some things may not be correct for the time period. I tried my best.

“Spells, Potions, and Magic, Solutions for the Everyday Witch”, you rolled your eyes before tossing the heavy ornate book into a box. You always knew that your neighbor Ms. M as she was called was a little on the odd side but when her daughter offered you $200 to clean out her moms home after she passed away, as a broke college student you couldn’t say no.

It was simple. You could keep anything you wanted and everything else got chucked into a large dumpster that was sitting outside. There was also this book that apparently Ms.M had insisted you have even though you thought it was a little weird. Other than the book you kept a few pots and pans, a couple vintage sweaters, and what looked like a handmaid quilt. You had a box of stuff you thought that maybe you could sell for a little extra cash too.

You felt bad just throwing away this woman’s entire life like she had never existed but that’s what you were paid to do.

After you were all finished you collected your payment and your items and headed back home to your place.

The box of stuff you were planning to sell consisted of mostly some jewelry, a very old vase, a Chanel purse you were praying was real, and the spell book. You knew the campus bookstore would definitely send some cash or at least store credit your way for that one and you did not want it taking up space in your already cramped home.

After making yourself some dinner your curiosity got the best of you and you started flipping through the pages of the book.

‘How to turn your enemy into a frog. A step by step guide.’, you rolled your eyes because how original?

‘Black cat following you around? Use this spell to reveal their true identity.’, okay maybe the cat is just hungry you laughed.

‘Death by chocolate cake’, you 100% expected to find just a normal recipe for chocolate cake which you did until the very last ingredient said a touch of arsenic and you realized they weren’t kidding about the death part.

Interestingly there was one page in particular that seemed to have been opened to more times than the others.

‘How to bring someone back from the twilight.’, useful I guess if someone accidentally ate your death by chocolate cake you chuckled.

You wondered if maybe Ms.M had spent much of her life trying to bring someone back from the dead, maybe a former lover. She was probably so grief stricken she was desperate and thought something as ridiculous as a spell could work. You felt bad for the woman and whomever it was that she thought she could bring back.

Putting the book aside you started going through some of the jewelry you took to see what was profitable. What looked to be a man’s ring caught your attention first. It was very intricate with a beautiful carving of what you thought was a jaguar. The eyes appeared to be made out of diamonds or so you hoped because that would definitely up the value when you try to sell it.

You went through some of the other jewelry but for some reason that book kept pulling your attention back to it. You went back to the page with the spell about bringing someone back. As you fidgeted with the jaguar ring you began to read,

“When the moon reaches full peak and the skies are clear, read this verse, there is nothing to fear. Lost in the twilight, shall be no more. Once true loves companion, completes the lore.”, what the hell you laughed. You would have thought this was meant as a Halloween book for toddlers or something if it wasn’t for the recipe on how to murder someone with chocolate cake.

Having had enough you decided it was time for bed and you’d deal with the stuff after your classes tomorrow. You kept the ring with you wanting to make sure it was safe and went upstairs to finish your nightly routine.

When you woke up the next morning you stretched feeling a little sore from all the heavy lifting you did the day before. You reached over to turn off your alarm clock when you felt an arm wrap around your waist and pull you close. It took a second for you to realize what just happened and that someone was currently in your bed with you, but once it hit you, it hit you like a bus.

You jumped out of bed in one quick movement stumbling for your light switch. Once the room was illuminated you got a good look at who was in your bed.

A man, yes a full grown man was peacefully sleeping next to you and at one point had his arm wrapped around you.

You had experienced one night stands before. It wasn’t your favorite thing to do but you had needs too. Never though had you ever had a one night stand that you didn’t remember. And you didn’t even leave your house last night so how did this happen?

What made you even more curious was that this guy didn’t look like the typical guys you were used to seeing around town. His hair was dark black and wavy and long, one side gently tucked behind his ear. His skin care routine must’ve been top notch because he didn’t have a single blemish and judging by how pale he was he either rarely left his house or was strict about sun protection. His clothes are what threw you off the most. Most of the guys you were around wore tshirts, hoodies, jeans, sweats and things like that. Not this guy. He looked like he was straight out of an 1800’s men’s fashion magazine, if that thing existed back then. The worst part was that you caught yourself staring at him a little too long. He was breathtakingly beautiful and you were a little sad that you didn’t remember anything from your time with him because you definitely would’ve liked to.

And then you reminded yourself that he was some guy you didn’t know and you should probably wake him up so he could get the hell out of your house and you could go on with your day.

Gently you poked at his shoulder but with no reaction. So you poked a little harder. This time he swatted at your hand and pouted which only made him look more beautiful.

So then you poked him even harder, “Um excuse me.”

This time he groaned before opening his eyes to look at you. It took a second but then he screamed and jumped out of the bed making you scream and jump back towards the door.

“Who are you?”, he asked groggy and out of breath.

That hurt a little that he didn’t remember you even though you were in the same boat but you’d like to think you were unforgettable so how dare he?

“Y/N, who are you?”

“Min Yoongi.”

“Okay Yoongi well whatever we did last night is over so it’s time for you to get going. I have class to get to.”, you said motioning towards the door.

You must’ve hit snooze instead of off on your alarm because it started making that familiar annoying ringing again.

Yoongi quickly brought his hands to his face to shield himself and he slightly crouched down, “What is that thing? Is it going to explode?”

You looked at him confused. “I wish. It’s just the alarm clock on my phone.”, you said showing him that you were turning it off.

He stood back up and smoothly moved his hair back behind his ear.

“Mmhm, where is the lavatory?”, he asked suddenly.

“I’m sorry what?”

“The lavatory, latrine…the toilet?”

“Ohh down the hall and first door on the left.”, you said pointing. He walked past you with a nod and you heard the door click shut.

“Jeeze, where did I find this guy?”, you asked yourself.

You took the time that he was in the bathroom to get dressed and went downstairs thankful that you had a second bathroom so you could finish getting ready there. Once you were done you went into the kitchen and got your coffee going and poured yourself a bowl of cereal, too tired to really cook anything. You took the book and the rest of the stuff from the night before and tossed it in the box so that it was out of the way.

After a few minutes Yoongi walked into the kitchen. You were kind of annoyed that he didn’t get the hint to leave but you still wanted to be polite because that was who you were, “Would you like some coffee?”

He nodded so you poured him a cup, “I have pumpkin spice or caramel macchiato flavored creamers.”

He looked at you with a straight face, “Pumpkins aren’t spicy.”

“Okay black it is.”, you whispered handing him the mug.

“Would you like some cereal?”, you asked.

Thankfully he shook his head because you had no idea how you would explain why your breakfast cereal had different colored marshmallows in it, something you just knew he would question.

You ate in awkward silence hoping he would eventually just get up and leave after realizing you weren’t interested.

Your phone which had been sitting on the counter charging dinged with a notification making Yoongi flinch back. “Why does that thing keep making noises?”, he asked still shaken.

“Well it’s a phone. That’s what they do.”, you said starting to get annoyed.

“Well back in my day there was only one phone for the whole city and it was attached to a wall at the courthouse and only made one sound.”, he said just as annoyed.

You took another bite of cereal unsure how to answer that but knowing that you needed to get this man out of your house and then reevaluate your life decisions.

“So uh did you need me to call you an Uber or something?”

“Uber?”

“Or Lyft or taxi or give you money for the bus?”, you said running out of options.

“Do you not have a horse and buggy to take me home in?”, he asked as if you were the odd one in this situation.

Slowly you shook your head, “Noooooo I’m sorry my buggy is currently in the shop and my horse is on vacation.”

You realized rather quickly that he did not appreciate the joke.

No longer having an appetite you started to collect your dishes when Yoongi grabbed your hand. He inspected it closely and that’s when you released you were still wearing the ring.

“How did you get that? That’s my ring.”, he asked.

“Umm it was in my neighbors stuff that I helped clear out yesterday.”

“Your neighbor? Where is she? I must see her.”

You were taken back a little by his outburst.

“Well she died about a month ago so I don’t really know how I can do that.”

Yoongi scoffed, “Good, I hope she’s burning in hell where she belongs that evil shrew.”

You raised an eyebrow not having heard anyone use that word outside of movies.

“How did it happen? Was she hung from the gallows? Slowly and painfully from Cholera?”, he asked a little too excited.

“Ummm she was like 100 million years old so I’m guessing that had something to do with it.”

“What year is it?”, he asked suddenly?

“2024”

“About 221.”, he stated matter of factly.

“I’m sorry?”

“She…your neighbor…Lenora…She was born in 1803 so she would be 221 years old.”

“And you know this how?”

“She’s my little sister.”

“Oookkkaayy”, you said, “Why is it always the hottest ones that are the craziest?”

“I am neither hot nor crazy. It’s quite chilly actually.” Yoongi said after overhearing you.

“No hot means like attractive, sexy, good looking.”, you said before feeling your cheeks heat up at the realization. Thankfully it seemed like he didn’t really understand anyways so you moved on.

“Sooo I’m gonna call someone to come give you a ride.”, you said reaching for your phone.

“A ride…with a horse?”

You smiled, “Uh no in a car with flashing lights that plays a song as it’s driving so people know to get out of the way.”

He looked impressed and nodded his head in acceptance.

“There it is!! I knew that evil witch had it this whole time.”, he suddenly gasped making you jump forgetting about the call you were trying to make.

Yoongi reached over taking the spell book that you had thrown in the box.

“I was looking for this. I knew she had it but she refused to give it back. She probably knew I’d become even stronger with it in my possession.”

“Stronger?”

He nodded, “Yes and then I’d become The Supreme.”

“The Supreme?”

He sighed, “The Supreme Witch. We’re witches. Do they teach nothing at school any more?”

“Sorry I haven’t taken Witches 101 yet. I’ll see if they offer it next semester.”

He shook his head, “Don’t bother. I’ll teach you.”

You sighed but took a seat anyways.

“You see every two hundred years a new supreme is appointed to each coven. A selection of witches go through seven different tests to gage their strengths and weaknesses. My sister and I were in the finale up against each other tied three to three. She knew there was no way she could beat me in the finale test on her own. So somehow she disabled my protector spell while I was sleeping and she used a curse to send me to the twilight. I’ve been stuck there ever since…until you got me out somehow. Are you a witch by the way? What family do you belong to?”

You chuckled, “Yeah definitely not a witch. All I did was read something from that book. It was a page that seemed to be used a lot. Maybe your sister was trying to get you back.” He started flipping though the pages of the book when a photo fell out. It was black and white and low quality but you could still make it out. Yoongi stood smiling next to a woman you figured to be his sister and former neighbor. You could definitely see the resemblance of your former elderly neighbor in the young smiling woman’s face. Yoongi looked exactly the same just with a big gummy smile that made your heart race.

He smirked as he looked over the photo, “Doubt it. We’ve always hated each other.”

He read something on the back that you couldn’t see before tucking the photo in the book.

“Can you take me to the city? I need to speak with someone.”, he suddenly asked.

You checked the time and figured since you were already late for class and probably dead for all you knew at this point, you agreed.

“Sure but first we need to get you to change your clothes.”

Yoongi looked offended, “What’s wrong with my clothes? These are very expensive and in high fashion.”

“Maybe in the 1800s but right now you look ridiculous.”, you chuckled.

Thankfully you had a stash of your brothers clothes that he always forgot whenever he visited you and they might just fit your new friend.

When he finally came downstairs your mouth unapologetically dropped open. You thought he looked good before but this was on a whole other level. The jeans fit perfectly. The tshirt a tinsy tiny bit too tight in the arms and chest area but no one would complain. The Jordans that you knew your brother would kill you if he saw you letting anyone else wear looked like they were made just for Yoongi. He had put his hair in a half up half down situation and you were wondering where he got the hair tie from but you didn’t care because you were ready to buy them in bulk for him anyways.

“NOW I look ridiculous. This is how men dress these days?”, he said feeling insecure with you staring at him.

“You know if we stop at the seamstress I’ll have her patch your brothers pants. Poor guy can’t even afford to fix the holes.”, he continued.

“It’s done on purpose. They’re supposed to look like that.”, you laughed

This time it was Yoongi’s mouth that dropped open, “Wait so he actually pays money to buy pants that already have holes in them?”

You nodded and laughed, “Yeah a lot of money too.”

He shook his head in disbelief.

In the car you showed him how to use the seatbelt and once he was comfortable you started the engine.

“Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday

Seven days a week

Every hour, every minute, every second

You know, night after night

I'll be lovin' you right, seven days a week”, blasted through the speakers reminded you that you were definitely not the same person you were last night so you turned the volume way down.

“Ugh what is that racket?”, Yoongi questioned with his hands over his ears.

“That’s Jungkook. He’s like one of the most popular musicians right now.”

“This is considered music now?!”

“Yeah it is.”, you laughed showing him a photo of Jungkook on your phone.

“He’s adorable.”, Yoongi cooed, “And HE’S the one that sings such a stupid song about days of the week?”

“Well the song is not really about days of the week”.

Yoongi stared waiting for you to continue, “It’s about…it’s about sex.”

His eyes went wide. “And they let that be played to the public?”, he hissed almost more embarrassed than you.

“Yeah this song is pretty mild compared to others.”, you chuckled.

You offered to drive in silence but Yoongi insisted on listening to more of this Jungkook fellows music which you happily obliged.

“Where exactly are we headed? I kind of need to know where to drive.”, you asked.

“Well it’s a book store. It’s right next to the horse stable and across from the general store.”

“Okay well uh I’ll start driving and you tell me if anything looks familiar.”

Yoongi was amazed by all of the new technology. Traffic lights, billboards, hundreds of cars passing by.

“Wait wait wait…So we don’t even have to get out of the car? They just hand us the drink through that little window?”, he asked after you had stopped to use a drive thru for a snack.

You smiled as you watched his eyes light up when he sipped on a pumpkin spice latte completely forgetting about his disdain about it earlier.

Eventually you somehow made it to the location he wanted which also happened to be the campus bookstore.

You followed Yoongi inside and watched as he walked right up to Jimin who was standing at the counter.

“Hi Y/N”, he smiled until he noticed Yoongi standing next to you, “Yo-Yoongi?”

“It’s been a while. How is Emmy?”, he asked.

“She’s good. We have two kids now, two little girls.”

Yoongi nodded, “I’m so glad to hear that. I’d love to meet them.”

“You look good.”, Jimin praised him but Yoongi scoffed, “I look absolutely ridiculous.”

“No man this is what the kids these days are wearing. You fit right in.”

You watched on in awe as you found out that the guy who worked at the campus bookstore whom you at one point had a small crush on was apparently a 250 year old witch who was also married to a fairy. And he was now talking to a 250 year old witch who you accidentally brought back from something called the twilight where his sister, your deceased elder neighbor, sent him over a hundred years or so ago. You thought you were going crazier by the minute.

“So do you have it still?”, you heard Yoongi ask Jimin.

“Yeah uh she dropped it off about six weeks ago. She probably knew her time was coming. I thought about throwing it away since I didn’t think there was any chance but I’m glad I saved it since you’re here.”, he said handing over a small envelope to Yoongi.

“Thank you.”, he nodded before turning to leave the store. You said goodbye and followed after him outside.

Once back in your car he stared at the envelope in his hands. His name elaborately written on the front.

You remained silent realizing that he was going through something. It seemed like he was afraid of whatever was in that letter.

Gently he broke open the seal watching as the letter floated up in front of him and unfolded. A voice that you recognized as your neighbors began to speak,

“Hello brother, Good to see that you finally made it out of the twilight. I admit that I only sent you there because I fully believed you would be able to get yourself out of there in no time.

Honestly every-time a black cat crossed my path I thought it was going to be you. I know they were your favorite to shift into. If I had known that I’d never see you again though, I never would’ve done it. I missed you Yoongi. It was hard going through life without you. I hope that you can forgive me and maybe we can see each other again one day.

I left the spell book with my neighbor. Her name is Y/N. I think you’ll like her. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and there’s something special about her. I can sense it. I think she could be the one.

Take care Yoongi. Love your little sister and still the better witch, Lenora.”

There was a spark and then then letter burst into a hundred little pieces before disappearing into nothing.

“Ar-Are you okay?”, you asked after noticing he hadn’t moved.

He smiled, “Yeah better than I thought I would be. That’s all I ever wanted from her. An apology and to know she was okay.”

You nodded then began to drive home when he cleared his throat, “Y/N, can I court you?”

“I’m sorry, what?”, you chuckled.

“Can I court you? Like we spend time together and talk and hold hands and then kiss and then eventually we partake in the sexual pleasure of each other?”

You choked on air, “Oh you’re asking me out, like on a date?”

“Sure if that’s what you want to call it.”

“Yes I’ll go on a date with you but let’s start with dinner or coffee and then slowly work our way up to sexual pleasures.”, you smiled hoping he couldn’t see you blush.

He shrugged his shoulders, “I mean you did call me hot and I have been told that my tongue can work magic on the body that no spell could ever do but suit yourself. We can stick to pumpkin spice lattes if you’d prefer.”

You awkwardly laughed before deciding to hit the gas pedal just a tiny bit harder.

[smoothriverrocksrock]

GOD I WOULD KILL FOR TF1 DECEPTICON BEE!! The thought of him not wanting to leave Megatron alone after something so horrific warms my heart. I need a fic of them becoming friends. (do you have any more headcanons?)

I really hope to get to writing a fic for this, and I’ll definitely link it if I do! Kinda busy with other fics tho and since one is close to finishing I wanna start it after I’m done with that one

Well first and most obvious headcanon is that Bee has to have some MAJOR respect for D-16/Megatron purely because of that scene with him standing up to Sentinel. Genuinely, seeing Bee watch that had me in the theaters wondering why tf Bee would be horrified by D-16 killing him. B-127 is a better person than me because of I saw one of my friends get CARVED INTO it would be my last straw

My main idea for a Decepticon tf1 Bee story kinda looks like this (warning this gets LONG):

-He sees Megatron and the High Guard leaving, and he can’t believe it. He just got a friend group, he can’t just let it split apart! Especially not like this!

-With a quick number exchange, Bee tells Elita that he’s going with Megatron and it’s nothing personal he just wants to stay with him ok byeeeee

-Elita is kinda baffled, and Optimus absolutely takes it personally but in a sad “wait what if I’m in the wrong, oh no, now I lost two friends” way. Optimus wants to go after him and Megatron but Elita stops him. They both agree it’s probably best to give them all space and let Bee try and figure it out

-Megatron is also baffled that this guy is coming with him, but he feels relieved that at least *someone* familiar agrees with him. He won’t admit it tho, it’s a cold comfort after everything else that’s happened

-The High guard doesn’t really care rn, they just got banished (AGAIN!) and a friend of their new leader is probably good enough to keep around

-I imagine some of them are probably injured (most importantly Megatron), so Soundwave helps them highjack a train where they can take temporary shelter, get supplies/food, and rest. Starscream finds out the base got blown up and appropriately grieves about the loss of his awesome throne. Shockwave is revealed to be the best thing they have to a doctor. Rough times.

-Bee keeps trying to get Megatron to talk about what just happened, but he refuses. Bee eventually talks about how horrible sublevel 50 was because of the isolation, and promises Megatron that he won’t leave him alone

-Still cold comfort to Megatron. He just lost his longest companion, and he knows Bee could never compare. Bee also realizes this, but he’s trying his best

Lotta places the story could go from there, but I wanna keep it as a “Bumblebee inadvertently becomes the moral backbone of the Decepticons” type of story. I also wanna clarify that Bee is still totally down for murder, he just convinces Megatron to keep the guns pointed at the Quintessons for now

He also shares soooo much Decepticon gossip to Optimus and Elita, but never anything that could ever compromise the Decepticons. He’ll be like “You’ll NEVER guess what Skywarp just said today” and Elita will ask for boring stuff like “where are you based” and “are you eating enough” and Bumblebee refuses to have his friendships compromised by politics. Optimus appreciates this, and does the same. Eventually Elita will conform and send him memes

Also Soundwave and Bee become scout friends. This is the law. Bee is one of the only people who will contribute to the community playlist

[scrompsautobotsrchives]

The grand race

Alright, first Mirage fic !! *Cracks knuckles* Lets do this. Word count:1K

Mirage lived for adventure even back on cybertron. He would always get up to antics which would have pissed off the prime leader back then. Now on earth, it was his personal playground, He would always toy around with the police in chases, Doing the best stunts he could do. But he always wanted to do more.

One day as he was cruising around the city, He parked nearby just to watch the city go by. He then saw two friends walk up to each other and have a quick chat before one said. "You still down for the race tonight ??"

"Yep, I also heard that they jackpoted the prize to a $1000" The other said enthusiastically.

"Woah..." That was all he needed when he started to zoom back to the makeshift HQ, You were busy helping Optimus and Bumblebee setting everything up when you heard the familiar revving.

"Hey y/n !!" He transformed and kneeled to your height, eager to tell you the news. "Guess what I heard today ?? Your gonna love it"

'What's up ??' You stopped what you were doing and gave him your full attention.

"I heard these guys in the city talking about a race that's happening tonight"

"Oh yeah, They do those almost every year now"

"Really ?? We should go !!"

But before you could give your answer, a familiar prime's voice boomed. "Absolutely not Mirage, We need to remain undercover and away from prying eyes, Drawing attention to yourself will only cause more damage then good" He said, bee whirred in laughter and soon the radio flicked to an audio of the Nelson Muntz... "HA HA !!"

"You must promise me to stay away from that race" Optimus said firmly.

"Yeah yeah sure, I'll stay very well away so far away... Dude don't leave me with these tightasses bro, We'd make a great team" Mirage whispered to you pleadingly.

"Mirage you heard what Optimus said, I'm not doing a race just so you can get kick out of it" You frowned to him.

"But what about for friendship ??" He said, making you raise an eyebrow in dissapointment.

"Ah or or or what about for cash ??"

You looked up at him. "How much are we talking ??"

"$1000, I can get that to you easy"

Now what you could do with $1000, ooooooh you could buy that new games console that just went on a market. You looked at Optimus who was helping Bee before back at Mirage.

"Ok, I'm in" You nodded.

So later in the night, the two of you went out. Heading to the start of the course where all the racer's would line up. You got out as you heard rap music playing on full blast, People catching up and taking selfies. You saw a dude with a clipboard standing nearby, Taking down the names of another person who arrived before you.

"Guess that's our ticket in" You closed the door and went up to him. "Hey, I wanna enter the race"

"Awesome, What car are we racing with ??"

"The Porsche behind me" You nodded to Mirage.

He nodded and took down your name as well. "Alright, your in kid"

"Thanks" You headed back to Mirage and got inside. "Ok remember, we need to make this look natural so nobody notices something's off ok ??" You reminded him of the rules.

"Don't worry, your boy's got this" Even in car form, you could tell Mirage had a huge smirk on his face.

You lined up, Eyeing the competition. some had modified cars ranging from old to new. They took this seriously.

"This'll be easy" Mirage chimed in, revving his engine as he got into place. "Relax"

You nodded as you gripped the steering wheel, Watching someone walk to the middle with the chequered flag, signalling the race was about to start. The contestants around you started to rev up their cars as the flag was raised, and then with the swish downwards, Tires skidded on the road and soon everyone was off.

"Come on Mirage !!" You cheered as you made pretend movements on the drivers seat.

"'scuse me 'scuse me'" He chuckled softly as he passed some contestants with breeze.

But some were proving to be a little bit of a challenge, like we said, some were modified specifically for this race. Mirage grumbled as he attempted to pass some of them. "Move over !!"

The driver in one car could only chuckle and pressed the nitro, picking up speed.

"Damn it !!" You pushed the pedal to the medal, and Mirage began to speed up, pushing a little more and sped past the guy, blowing dust in his face.

"WOOHOO !!!"

The first lap was done, Just gotta keep up the momentum. "Let's kick some aft !!" Mirage cheered.

You cleaned up the second lap, But on the third, one of the contestants began to kick it up a notch. Mirage was cruising along when he felt that he wasn't ahead anymore. "Huh ??"

You watched as one of the contestants sped past you, This car looked like it went through hell and back on the performance.

"Shit !! Come on we got this !!" You reminded.

Mirage was determined, as determined as ever to win this. He tried to speed up as best as he could, Tires burning every drift. The other driver wasn't giving up as well, Both of you pushing the pedal to the medal as the finish line was nearing. The crowd cheered as the two of you crossed, Mirage made a total stop. "Did we win ??"

"I'm not sure ??" You got out of the car, asking the racer. "Yo what's going on ??"

"Beats me" He shrugged.

Because it was such a close call, Some people had to review the footage on their phones just to see who touched the finish line first, You waited for almost 5 minutes before one nodded and shouted. "It was the Porsche !!" Making everyone cheer.

"YEAH !!" You were so goddamn happy, Mirage was so goddamn happy, Oh screw it you were both so goddamn happy.

Others watched as you showed off from mirage and as promised, you were awarded the $1000. You drove off soon after.

"Holy shit that was incredible !! Did you see the guys face !!??"

"Oh, he was so mad !!" Mirage was so happy. "We gotta do that again sometime.

"Maybe... Just maybe" You smirked. You made your debut, a race or two never hurt anyone.

Taglist: @callofdudes

[the-joy-team]

“HELLO!!!! And welcome to the Golden Shores Beach Day Awards Ceremony! Today we’ve had some AWESOME competitions running throughout the day, some that weren’t even planned, but we were so impressed we just had to shout a couple of you out!” -🐭

“This feels similar to what the kids would call bullying-” -✨

“But in a kind and rewarding way of course because we’re so proud of everyone’s joyous nature today!” -🐭

*Ellen rolled her eyes. Today was a shit show and anyone with eyes could tell that. Someone literally died and the High Seraphim who was supposed to be doing awards was no where to be found. Not to mention that… person Seraphim Adina was running around with for half the day was definitely a sinner. And honestly, there were several other halos that were suspect throughout the day as well! Calling attention to it would have caused a panic though so she let it slide but seriously? Joyous nature Penelope?*

“There were several moments we’ll be highlighting, so keep those clappers warm and ready to get to applauding! Today was a great day!” -🐭

“First we’d like to congratulate all of the sandcastle builders. There were 76 entries this year! Thats the most we’ve ever had compete during this event, and the competition was hot! With over six thousand votes turned in, it’s a surprise we even got the votes all tallied up in time!” -🐲

“Would have been a lot harder if you hadn’t set half of them on fire, but what do I know?” -✨

“Please, when you’ve been called, come to the podium to be recognized and receive your award. So without further ado, third place belongs to… number 34, Dahlia!” -🐲

“Our second place was a tight win, only a little over thirty more votes seperately these two placements! Second place was… number 33, Delia!” -🐥

“Our first place winner was an absolute landslide. This sand castle was entered a bit later in the day but still managed to get quite a lot of attention for their scenes from the skies! This castle was a masterpiece coming from an unsuspected source. With a tallied vote of 1256 votes, the winner of the sandcastle building competition is… number 68, Shamira!” -🐭

*Ellen remembered counting votes and laughing as she sorted through the paper slips. At least a third of them were all in Emily’s flowing cursive. But honestly, she loved Emily and if she was willing to turn in over 300 votes for the guardians castle, she would gladly count them. Even if said guardian would have won without any of them*

(( @exorcist-dahlia @exorcist-delia @askshamass ))

[pruneunfair]

different medias ways to promote internalized misogyny: an essay.

Do you remember any of those "Me vs other girls" templates that people nowadays use for yuri art? the type that are so painfully cringey that you think whoever made it is just messing around. We think that it just died down when everyone matured but that's not the case, internalized misogyny is still rampant in media that promote it in a subtler way. One of them is of course Otome isekai, the genre of isekai taking place in a fantasy/historical romance book/video game within the stories universe.

everyone knows the good old classic shojo tropes that haven't been popular in years. A female lead who is pure and sweet, a handsome and powerful male lead who will save her with marriage, at least one other guy who will fawn over said female lead, the best friend with the personality of 2016 quirky memes, and of course the evil villainess with a design that is very obviously designed look evil, villains with a Ursula or the evil queen from snow white vibe if you will.

for a long time now in the manhwa community, one of the most popular tropes is an isekai/regression of a villainess who is hated by all. This likely isn't the very first one with this idea but villains are destined to die is one of the most popular with this trope, and it worked. Penelope still retains a level of evilness even with a new soul to keep up with the fact that the OG Penelope was the villain. The og fl Ivonne isn't exactly demonized either, her body is being possessed by a demon named Leila and her soul is stuck in a mirror so no woman is one archetype. VADTD was a phenomenon and it got people into the idea that a villain could be as best a protagonist as a heroine. The community however, had a problem. Even though it was made explicitly clear that Ivonne was not at fault, there were tens of hundreds of the novel readers who still blamed Ivonne instead of Leila. This is not the fault of the author of course but it would be a warning for what would come.

ever since that trope has become very popular due to the nuance it could give. Eventually someone came up with the idea that the typical pure and sweet fl would be the evil one instead, it worked for Cozy Glow so why not here? these fl's ended becoming ogfl's who were pick me's, cruel, crybabies, and most of all: incredibly stupid., this even went to stories that aren't within a novel by using characters who had that sweet angel vibe. They could never hold a candle to the new badass girl bosses because they're old school and like all the other vabid rich ladies. This idea alone wasn't bad but it has been watered down to the point of unoriginality and even writing a mess of a story. They want people to actually hate the ogfl for hurting the misunderstood former villainess and to do that, you'd think they would write them as these calculating manipulators who were not to be fucked with. At the same time though they want to prove how awesome and perfect their new protagonist is and there is a misconception that flaws/mistakes=weak female lead. This results in not just Mary-sues your expected to take seriously but also pathetic villainesses you can't even consider a real threat.

Here's an example of the watered down white lotus trope: Cosette Weinberg from Actually I was the real one. (the manhwa, AIWTRO novel is not as bad)

While not being an isekai but a regression story, Cosette defiantly is meant to resemble the sort of long lost royal daughter who shows up, gets bullied by the "fake" daughter and unlocks her own super epic power to become the best in all the land. In reality Cosette is dead and a demon is controlling her body and being able to use her elemental power is a mere bonus in controlling her body. Since she is a demon you'd think Cosette (or Ragibach) would be a terrifying menace which.. she was portrayed as at first. But she's the basic bitch pick me! so she should never be allowed to win even a small argument, because how else is Keira gonna be a girl boss? it'd be too bothersome to just let Cosette grow even more secretive and calculating so the suspense can actually be felt. The story was so obsessed with Keira being the perfect feminist power girl boss that they forgot that Cosette destroyed the world in the first timeline with ease and grace when they portray her as a screaming idiot who can't make smart decisions. It does the exact same thing that the old style did by inserting a woman to be a foil to the woman your supposed to like. This escalates to even women who support Cosette being villainized even if they don't know what she's like. Such as a maid named Mina, a poor girl picked up off the streets and essentially being used as a tool for Cosette. She commits all these evil henchman crimes for her master with her younger brothers safety and comfort being used as a hostage. Mina ends up getting deported and even suggested to be lashed 50 times for obeying someone who gave her no choice and instead of it being part of the cruel truth of the era, it's just supposed to be karma. Something similar happens to the antagonist of the villainess turns the hourglass Mielle, where she is effectively rendered too stupid to be a threat

This however doesn't stop at the villainesses being dumbed down, the fl Keira suffers the same flaws that the stereotypical shojo fl suffered from. In the novel Keira has no love interest, in the manhwa she has 2 guys, Joseph and Erez, who are into her and she can't decide who she likes more (it's probably gonna end up being Erez). her family was actively shoved to the side for more romance scenes where Keira becomes a crumbling mess. In the novel Zeke had a bigger role. So in the manhwas attempt to emulate the novel they just backpaddled on their efforts to fanfic write it with feminism even though the original was already pretty progressive for Keira.

Now Cosette is a product of the bad writing of a adaptation that feels more like a fanfic given how severe the changes are but at least for the most part, Actually I was the real one was mediocre

There is much worse. If you know me or my account you probably already know who is next. The Infamous Rashta from the remarried empress

Even if you haven't read remarried empress, the trashta nickname became incredibly famous for the white lotus villains of other manhwa. Rashta is a twisted version of the cinderella trope: the poor abused but also very gentle looking girl who finds her prince charming and becomes a queen.

This girl was a slave sold in childhood, and while her backstory is purposely kept in the dark because they don't want you sympathizing with someone they consider a whore who deserves everything that happens to her. It doesn't take much rocket science together to piece what happened. Rashta had been SA by one of her masters and got pregnant with her first child, she gave birth alone and her newborn baby was taken and replaced with a dead baby to emotionally scar her even further, It is implied that she was assaulted again before she runs away and she meets the emperor who makes her his concubine. For the rest of the manhwa her whole story feels like torture porn. Another one of her masters comes back to blackmail her using her child, her value being based on how many babies she can make, everyone basically hates her, her only friend is actively arranging her downfall, her final master becomes known as a sweet little sister of the empress Rashta used to idolize, her daughter is taken away from her the moment she was born, and at long last, she dies alone known as the most evil empress in history. This isn't even mentioning her age. It's never confirmed other than she is an adult but in the eastern empire it's time to debut as an adult at around 17 and given her design with the big eyes which are usually given to the younger characters. So this really sets up even sadder connotations knowing that Rashta could be as young as 17.

Now, how does this story get away with having a punching bag with THIS many tragic elements like this to make the fl Navier look better? well by making her egregiously evil, she can never make smart decisions in street smarts despite it contradicting her rough and tumble backstory, if there's a character your supposed to like getting away with terrible acts, just have Rashta rip out a tongue or betray a friend to entertain the masses! It'd be hard to feel bad when the character in question is going around looking to kill/ ruin the lives of innocents. While the novel did a better job giving Rashta more traits than just "haha I'm a slutty hypocrite" it's still like the manhwa.

I already made a post that goes more into detail about Remarried empresses internalized misogyny that you can check out below, or you could go onto my archive, there's a lot of remarried empress centered posts there too.

Like Keira, Navier isn't as revolutionary as the story wants you to think.

In season 1, Navier wasn't the worst fl ever. She worked hard as empress and while her personality was still a tad dull she seemed to have more character traits then she does now. After that she's just there, she's barely doing anything outside of sitting there looking pretty and getting pregnant with twins. We barley if ever see Navier even doing anything to deliver moments that make her interesting. She doesn't even do anything for her problems even after getting ice powers. It's all her husband and brother that just kill or threaten everyone who criticizes her, Navier barely feels like a main character at this point, she's a side character in her own story. She isn't the badass empress the characters tell you she is, Navier is just another empress who is basically the dream wife for a man in the 50s since she doesn't even need to love the man if she happens not to, she just wanted an empress title so she can feel like she has a purpose. Once again an example of a backpaddling of an attempt at a woman with more than 2 character traits.

The attempts to make you hate a specific character for not being "unique" even come across as embarrassing and even downright childish. Such as the case with her. The trope of the saintess sent as a commoner turned ugly

Diana's case is similar to Rashta's, as in they try REALLY hard to make her hateable even when it starts to lose logic. At first it made sense to call her out on abandoning the common folk when she became crown princess but when you actually read this piece, the hatred for her is centered around the fact that she was upset that a guy who loved her killed for her and she cut him off. Sounds straight out of an incels revenge fantasy. Most of the time Diana isn't even that evil, she has a lot of flaws and certainly isn't the greatest person but she's also not the devil incarnate, yet every time the story tries very hard to make her awful for rejecting a man. She has pink hair, she's angelic looking, she comes across as sweet and dainty yet she won't date the first guy who kills for her? well then that makes her a cruel bitch for not validating the impression she gave off to everyone.

but if you look like the worst gender bent of Therdeo possible with a lot of money to obnoxiously throw around then your super cool and not like the other gold digging bitches! 💅

Hestia is literally what these og fl have been reduced to except she's put in the protagonist position making her 10x insufferable to follow as the leading lady. She purposely provokes Diana hoping to get a reaction out of her so she can humiliate her as revenge in Cael's name without the plot even trying to say that Hestia is not in the right for attacking her husbands ex. The entire point of my derelict favorite is criticizing protagonist centered morality which I would be all here for if they didn't forget all about when writing the supposed feminist icon Hestia who literally attacks a woman and acting like said woman was at fault for her favorite character killing himself, she is literally the pick me girl that everyone claims to hate until she looks like she is a badass when she's not, she's just another case of a poorly made attempt at something "new". Thus Hestia was doomed to teach little girls attacking other women for petty reasons was okay as long as they were basic enough and not into the same boy band as you.

This one isn't as terrible as the last 3 but I'm the queen in this life is a subtler but still an example. Isabella is the deconstructed trope of the favorite child rich girl beginning her new exciting life with handsome men and easily the best into turning into a villainess thanks to the spoiled upbringing and at first... It worked until it flopped just two chapters later.

Like Cosette and Mielle, Isabella is supposed to be this really smart white lotus who manipulated her way into the top but now.. she's just a spoiled brat who cries whenever she can't get her way. She isn't even utilized. While Isabella is pure evil it's the fact that OTHER characters are condoned or given proper moments to shine as smart villains who can get the job done or even be seen as sympathetic and shippable. Ceasre is a good example too because even though he teamed up with Isabella in the last timeline, the later chapters are implying that it was only Isabella and Ceasre was just manipulated. They even give me daddy and mommy issues at the same time so now the commenters think he deserves a second chance even after he SA Ariadne. In fact... I don't there are any other female characters in this comic who are complex, stay alive and are not Ariadne. There was Arabella and Margarete but they got killed off, Sancha isn't so bad but she's still just a follower with nothing much left to her, Lariessa is just there to be the stereotypical crazy ex to make Ariadne look better for not being desperate for a man, Malleta is just a plot device to make things happen and eventually die herself and Lucrezia is basically just Lady Tremaine but worse.

What I meant by not as bad as the last 3, I meant that here in I'm the queen in this life, Ariadne is actually written decently. She actually makes her own decisions, she has a life outside of Alfonso, and she isn't totally insufferable. With her it's more centered around the Narrative trying to say she is ugly to be relatable when it's clear she's not.

quite a few times characters will point out how big her boobs are and how "scandalous" it is. Isabella says they hang like a cows udders, they become a prominent point of scandal when her dress tears at a ball and for some damn reason Isabella gropes her own sister.. So why is all that weird attention to detail even there? Because they want more ways for Ariadne to be sympathetic but they still want her to be conventionally beautiful so there goes any chance at actual relatability when it can easily be interpreted as Isabella just being jealous that she is flat chested.

The only other female characters that aren't leads or pathetic villainesses in this genre are typically the maids whos only personality is being a perfect yes-man that validates jumping on women they don't like either by yelling at them for not going head over heels for their boss or by assisting in ruining their lives.

and if the maid isn't a bland character with blind trust, they're written to be comically evil because once again, their jealous women who only want what the lead has.. and well. This ends up being justified

So is manhwa the only forms of media Internalized misogyny and double standards that runs rampant?

Personally, I am a firm believer that Miraculous ladybug played a role in instilling young girls with this kind of mindset that any girl who isn't a yes-man to you is lying, bratty and general evil bitch thanks to Thomas Astruc's gross views on what feminism is. He's the kind of guy who thinks that if you put a woman in pants and write her as the best hero of all time then that's feminism. First of all, Marinette's entire personality devolves into a rabid stalker for Adrien which is justified with ass pulled trauma in season 5 yet Chloe, who is a terrible person with trauma and chances to grow is somehow worse than a god damn domestic terrorist. 2nd of all, any woman who is also into Adrien is basically hunted down by Marinette like a PG-13 yandere, Kagami is targeted by Chloe and Marinette for being with Adrien and her relationship with him dies almost immediately not to mention that the fandom called her cacagami for months after season 3's release, hell they even pair her up with "I'm just a misunderstood boy with a dead father" Felix who looks identical to adrien.

Lila wasn't even doing anything worthy of Ladybug humiliating her. She lied about being related to a superhero and being besties with Ladybug, got close to Adrien and talked smack about Ladybug. Shitty but not worth Marinette transforming for the sole purpose of embarrassing Lila for daring to try and take Adrien from her as if he's a object. They can't even utilize the girl later despite being allies with Gabriel. Zoe isn't even a damn person, She's just someone's wattpad self insert to show up, be the perfect new girl and replace Chloe using the power of kindness.

but the men? Gabriel is destroying Paris as Hawkmoth and abusing Adrien as a dad? Oh it was just for his wife, remember him as a tragic villain who was trying to be a good dad. Felix tries to forcefully kiss Marinette and gives all the miraculous to Gabe? He's got daddy issues let him live happily with Kagami. Andre is a pos father and abuses his power for either his or his daughters gain? He wouldn't be like that if Audrey didn't use her womanly charms to force him to give up his dreams to be a Politian. See all the damn excuses put up. Not to mention Ladybug rejecting Cat noirs advances is considered her being harsh and mean thanks to the proof of sad music playing and the constant shipping of the two by other characters.

One of the most popular webtoons that is universally hated now as well

Leuce was the first wife of Hades in Greek mythology whom he loved until her death and she became a poplar tree in Elysium. In Lo, Leuce is bastardized as this gold digging nymph who wants to ruin a relationship. She exists for the purpose of making Persephone look better because she home wrecked for superficial reasons therefore Hades grooming Persephone is fine because at least it is for "love"

Persephone's kidnapping was the literal center of Demeter's Hymn on the pain mothers at the time felt when their daughters were kidnapped and sold to marry powerful men and while it is often rewritten in a way where Demeter is over-protective and Persephone just wants freedom, LO does it the worst. The worse part is that it is pretty well known that the relationship between Hades and Persephone is inspired by Humbert and Dolores from Lolita given that some panels are eerily similar to the Lolita movie. Somehow Demeter is still the most evil one since she isn't making it easy for Blue Humbert to get with her 19 year old daughter. To give you an idea how big the age gap is, Hades was already thousands of years old when he gave Demeter a gift for her baby shower...

And Minthe, who in Greek myth was a mistress of Hades that got too cocky and was turned into a mint plant by Persephone, was the first girlfriend of Hades who got treated like shit by his family members for being a nymph. She gets emotionally cheated on and is considered crazy when she gets upset about it. Everyone rubs it in her face that Persephone is with her boyfriend even after she stopped getting it on with Thanatos the moment they became official. She still gets turned into a mint plant and the trauma Persephone caused her had no consequences.

all 3 women pit against eachother, 2 demonized for not being the "good" kind of woman and 1 being actively groomed and taken away from her mother and it's supposed to be a positive moment.

Its all this and more that has damaged the thinking of hundreds of thousands of girls and women into suspecting that any other woman is out to get them if they feel inconvenienced, it encourages the pick me girl mindset that pits women against eachother while the men who encourage it sit back and watch and it downplays the shitty actions of abusive men while blowing womens flaws out of proportion. Nowadays if a female character is introduced that isn't the lead or a loyal maid, readers are already out to call her a bitch and wish for her downfall. Helena from kill the villainess is an unfortunate victim of these consequences.

We could all do so much better if we realized how stupid it is to constantly pit women against eachother for no reason.

Thank you for sticking around for my little essay.

[luveline]

hi! i hope you’re doing well! could i please request a little something about hotch coming home from a case to non bau!reader and jack watching star wars, just bonding and being cute. he wants to hug you both so bad cause he missed you and loves you but he doesn’t want to interrupt your moment

thank you for requesting! fem, 1k

You drop your head back into the cushions to avoid getting whacked in the chin with Jack’s forehead. “Woah,” you say, laughing as a wave of buttery yellow popcorn kernels drop onto the floor. “Good thing we have hardwood.” 

“Why?”

You grab a handful of popcorn to eat from the bowl. “‘Cos all I’ve done today is make a huge mess.” 

Hotch smiles from the doorway. It’s dark in the house, and the music blaring from the television has occluded his arrival. You’ve no idea he’s watching you now, and you don’t act much differently than if his presence was announced. In fact, he’d say that sometimes you’re so focused on not overstepping your place in Jack's life that you restrain yourself. 

Butter and comfort alike has loosened the reins. You cuddle Jack to your side, the two of you laying across the long sofa with a faux rabbit fur throw wrapped around your two bodies, his head nestled under your chin. Your arm is around his tummy, belting him to you while blue light flashes over your faces. Lightsabers paint your eyes, their zinging and humming near painful in his bad ear. 

“Who’s side are we on again?” you tease. It’s subtle, but Hotch knows you’re joking. 

“Oh my gosh,” Jack says, “you forgot again? That one,” —he points at the screen— “that’s Obi Wan Kenobi.” 

“And we’re team Obi Wan?” 

“Yes, of course.” 

“Of course,” you echo, clearly finding him funny. “But the other one is more handsome, don’t you think?” 

“Am I handsome?” 

“Jack, you are the most handsome.” You stroke his hair back and encourage him to meet your eyes. “You’re so, so handsome, babe, you’re beautiful, and so smart, and so awesome. You’d wipe the floor with Obi Wan Kenobi.” 

Jack manages a reproach through his bashful smile, “I wouldn’t fight him, he’s the good guy. I would fight him.”

“Hmm.” You grab some popcorn from the bowl in front of Jack and eat a few pieces, then offer it to Jack. “I wouldn’t fight him. He’s too pretty.” 

“He’s evil.” 

“He doesn’t look evil.” 

Jack laughs and turns to you completely. “You’re funny. People don’t look evil, they just are sometimes.” 

“I know, baby, I’m just confused because all the good people in my life are beautiful.” You hug him behind his shoulders, looking at him with all the love in the world. “You’re a great example. You’re handsome, so how am I supposed to know you might be evil?” 

“You have to be careful,” Jack says sincerely. 

“Baby, I am. I promise I am.” Your eyes squint closed with your gentle smile, your noses almost touching. “I’m just kidding with you. I love having jokes with you.” 

“I love having jokes with you.” Jack gives you a quick hug, arms tight behind your head and his face nuzzling your collar. “Thanks.” 

“Thanks! Oh, you’re welcome, you don’t have to say thanks!”

“Well…” Jack pulls away, shrugging as you manoeuvre him bodily into a more comfortable position beside you. “I just think you should fight Anakin because he’s not kind, even if you think he’s handsome.” He says handsome with all the intonation of a boy discovering cooties for the first time. 

You shrug, eat another handful of popcorn, and seemingly see the light. “Alright, I’d fight him. I suppose I already have your dad, right? I don’t need any more handsome men in my life. Two is enough.” 

“Yeah,” Hotch says, flicking on the light, “I’d say so.” 

Jack jumps, upending another wave of popcorn onto the floor. You grab the bowl, and Jack has enough wits about him to hop over the spilled kernels rather than crush them as he presents himself to Hotch for hugging. 

“Hi!” Jack says. 

He’s getting longer. It takes Hotch more effort than it ever used to to pick him up and pat his back. “Hi, buddy. Nice jammies, those are new ones. Is Y/N giving you gifts again?” 

“She always gives me gifts.” 

“I’m buying your love,” you say, shielding your eyes from the glare of the big light. 

“I love it,” Jack says. 

Hotch puts him back down on the ground with a kiss. “You should. Did you have a good day? Sorry I was working, I missed our Saturday.” 

“Dad, it’s okay, you always work. We went to the store and we got candy, and now we’re watching Star Wars and you’re back, so it’s okay.” Jack beams and puts his hands behind his back. “Will you watch it too?” 

“Sure, buddy, I just have to wash up. Did you have dinner?” 

“Y/N made me lasagna from scratch, even the pasta,” Jack says. 

He sounds deeply, sincerely loved. His pride at having you put time and care into the meal is evident, and Hotch knows that he and Jack are incredibly lucky to have you and to have Jack be able to experience it. Something as nondescript as dinner can make all the difference. 

You sit on the couch still, a touch bashful. “It didn’t take long.” 

“Was it delicious?” Hotch asks Jack. 

Jack nods hard enough to hurt his neck, head bobbing up and down. “The best!” 

“Well, she deserves a good thank you, huh? For taking such good care of you today?” He lowers his voice to a whisper. “What should we do for her, in return? Did you have dessert?” 

“No,” Jack whispers back. 

Alright, then that’s what they’ll do. You treat Jack like he’s a found treasure, and you love Hotch as easily as breathing. Hotch takes Jack’s smaller hand in his and gives you a look that promises the world’s most squeezing hug after they’ve procured dessert. “Can you pause the movie, honey?” he asks you. “We’ll be right back.” 

You shake your head at him, but your smile isn’t easy to hide. “Your dinner’s under the grill,” you say. 

He adores you more, somehow. “Thank you.” 

[tokiwarcube]

How They Celebrate Your Birthday

All the boys + Charles for this one!

Charles Foster Offdensen

Taking care of the boys is a full-time task, but that doesn’t mean he misses your birthday — not by a long shot. But be careful not to let your birth date slip — the guys would be all too happy to use it as an excuse to take all seven of you out to some insane party. Or you know, do, if that’s your style. A birthday is an excuse to celebrate, and there’s very little they won’t do to see Charles get sloshed — with his partner, nonetheless.

Otherwise, he really makes you feel loved throughout the day. Little notes in the morning, littered around the house — on the nightstand, the bathroom counter, by your morning mug. Among those are a request to let him know when you wake, so he can order in for you. He wishes he could stay for breakfast, truly, but he’s not going to wake you up at 4:00am on your birthday. God knows you work hard enough as is.

He checks in throughout the day, seemingly just a little more eager than usual to talk with you, and hear your voice. Call him sentimental, but he really wishes he could spend the full day with you. Alas, work calls.

Another note — Check under the sofa, be ready by 6:00. I love you, happy birthday.

He really shines when he comes home, though. A hand on the small of your back, adjusting the nonexistent imperfections in the perfectly-tailored outfit he had left for you, purely for the sake of touching, of holding. And from there, the night is yours. Dinner, dancing, a show… it’s all so cliche on paper, but he really makes you feel loved. A classical romance. He makes the cliche seem new, seem real, seem genuine.

Charles is a very, very attentive man, so it’s really no surprise when he brings out your real gift at the end of the night, and it just so happens to be the perfect thing. Although surprisingly, it’s not something you’ve ever asked for. Perhaps never even thought of, or seen — and yet, it’s so clearly tailored to your tastes. He’s good like that.

As the two of you are falling asleep towards the end of the night, he can’t help but check in — Did you have a good time tonight? As though he didn’t serve you your very own Hallmark moment. Again, he’s sweet like that.

Nathan Explosion

You know, for a man, who hates the media, he is pretty adamant on having a big party for you. Like yeah, he hates the publicity, but it’s you. And you deserve the darkest, most brutal birthday party of them all.

He knows you very well, don’t get me wrong, but he’s liable to overthink things a little. He could benefit a bit from some hints as to what exactly you’d like to do for your birthday… he’d like to avoid another Rockzo incident, if possible. But even if you do drop a few hints, he likes to surprise you with the results. You’ll have a lot of fun, but you might have a little heart attack first. He makes up for it, though.

Most of the heartfelt things are done earlier in the day, and the real party is reserved for night time. The boys already give him enough shit for how whipped he is for you, so a live performance is basically out of the question (lest the two of you be subjected to a healthy amount of ribbing from your peers), but that’s not to say he doesn’t attempt something similar. Instead, he writes, and has everyone record their parts individually — never quite saying what it’s for — and compiles it himself, solo. It’s not the usual production quality, but that’s not what you’re looking for — it’s sweet. Steeped in ichor and shadow, sure, but sweet nonetheless.

He’s usually pretty insatiable with PDA, and that doubles when drunk. But when drunk, on your birthday? You have to pry him off with a crowbar. He usually doesn’t talk actively about you in front of the cameras — God knows the media already knows way too much about the two of you — but tonight, he can’t seem to stop talking about how fucking awesome you are, and how it’s your birthday, and—

You’ll have a good time teasing him about it in the morning, once the hangover dulls.

Pickles the Drummer

Just when you think he’s partied as hard as he can, he finds a way to outdo himself. And your birthday is quite the opportunity, no?

Listen, if you want to have a nice, quiet day in, he’s happy to oblige. It’s your birthday, and he’s damn determined to make it the best one yet. And if that’s your version of a good time, he’s ready to get some takeout from that random place on the corner that you like — even though there’s a perfectly good Michelin 5-star restaurant in their house — and just hang out. Yes, really.

But if you want to get fucked up? Babe, we’re partying around the world. Fuck it, let’s go for a week! Best birthday ever, right? Whatever you say, goes.

It’s not all drugs, mind you — he’s got other things planned, too. The schedule just allows for a bit of inebriation in-between… or during. Listen, if you can deal with crowds while high, it’s real fun to go to a show or two. Everything is just so vibrant, so fluid — whether you’re up front with wide eyes or twirling in the back, Pickles makes it a very, very fun experience. And as much as he would like to get trashed beyond belief, the high tolerance does come in rather handy in moments like these — he’s happy to babysit you a bit, if it makes you feel more secure.

Surprising noone, he is a very, very good gift giver. After everything is said and done, and you’re both blinking awake the next day, that’s when he shuffles around to find the gift he set aside. He wanted to make sure it didn’t get lost in the haze, after all. Despite everything, he’s a fantastic listener, and somehow, he always seems to find that one special thing you’ve been looking for.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

Complete royalty treatment — so long as he’s there (or, perhaps more aptly, the Klokateers are), you won’t be lifting a finger. He’s such a diva about it — you thought he was bad when it came to him, but with you? Beyond words. Consequently, this also means that everybody within a 50mi radius will know that its your birthday. He’s very embarrassing about it too, with how he takes the chance to coo about it whenever he gets the chance. Very saccharine — borderline patronizing, if you didn’t know him so well to know its the opposite — with an undertone of something you just can’t place. Although despite the embarrassment, you can’t lie — it does make your heart flutter just a little bit. You can’t tell if he’s getting off on it, or if he’s just excited to have a day where you have to let yourself be pampered.

He is very adamant about getting you an actual gift — not just sex, surprising everyone — and he’s really rather thoughtful about it. He listens a bit more aptly than usual in the months leading up to your birthday, and does his best to actually keep it a secret… with varying success. But it’s the thought that counts. When morning comes, he’s already at the foot of your shared bed, gift in hand. He doesn’t like extracting himself from your hold in the morning, but today, he’ll make an exception. Hard not to, when you tiredly paw at the gift — he places a quick kiss to your forehead before the gift is fully unwrapped, just out of softness.

He’s generally up for anything you want to do, and with the seemingly unlimited funds that come with stardom, nothing really bars you from fucking around on the daily… but now, he’s especially game for whatever you want to do today. If there’s anything you’ve been begging to drag him to do, now’s the time — he’ll do it for you, with only minor complaints.

To that end, while he does have the Klokateers wait on you hand and foot, you’re in charge of where the day goes. It’s your big day after all.

But yes, the birthday sex is phenomenal. That’s a given.

Toki Wartooth

Every birthday Toki’s had since joining Dethklok has been nothing if not extravagant — he makes it a point to live every day like it’s his last day on Earth, but birthdays? Birthdays go above and beyond — no holds barred. So with his partner, the love of his life? You may as well be royalty.

Although, in typical style, Toki strikes a perfect balance between heartfelt and lavish. He’ll buy you the world if you only ask — or perhaps, even if you don’t — but interspersed are his own, handmade gifts. This year he planned a worldwide adventure, but he also slotted in your favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurants into his scheduling. His planning abilities are lackluster for the average event, but he really puts his all into it for birthdays. (Although if you walk into Charles’ office at just the right time, you do gain a little bit of insight into who did the actual “organizing” part. Toki has the ideas, and Charles organizes it into something that won’t give you whiplash.)

He’s honestly so excited for your birthday, you’d think it was his own. He lets you wake up on your own, despite his own eagerness — but he can’t help placing a kiss to your lips as you blink the sleep from your eyes. Light, still floating on the ghost of your dreams, it’s a very sweet moment. That is, until he’s tugging you upwards to go on your adventures for the day.

One tradition he is very insistent on, is birthday cake. Very adamant about having a candle for every year of life — the number candles do not count — and making a wish. He always asks what you wished for, but don’t answer — it’s a trap. He’ll actively cover your mouth if you try to tell him, scolding you — didn’t you know the wish doesn’t come true if you say what it was?

William Murderface

Birthdays fucking suck — it’s another year closer to death, and nobody will fucking leave you alone, they give you all this shit you don’t want, and—

Yeah, that’s all bullshit. He loves birthdays, he’s just… never really celebrated them in a way that’s fun to him. Growing up it was all about going to the shitty little community park in town, with the hot metal slides that always managed to burn him, and if it wasn’t that, it was going to the run-down minigolf place on the outskirts that always reeked of stagnant water and old cheese. Boring. A chore. But recently, his tune has changed a bit. I mean sure, the boys aren’t always great at showing that they care, but they certainly make birthdays fun. Worth having. So despite having very little frame of reference, he really strives to make every one of your birthdays memorable, too.

Except again, he has… no idea what to do. Sure, he knows what you like to do, but you do those things every day. And it would be weird to ask, because isn’t it supposed to be a surprise? He spends night after night, quite literally, googling ideas on what to do. Unsurprisingly, Google isn’t very helpful in this department, considering the mass amount of wealth and time William has. It’s a miracle how he hasn’t been caught in planning.

But he really does put so much thought into the celebration, and is very, very particular about getting everything just right. He really takes the “diva” crown from Skwisgaar, on this occasion. This color is not the same shade he sent them, he’s certain of it, and it will be corrected before you have the chance to see it. Wh- yes it matters, this isn’t your favorite color, the one he sent was. Jeez, some people.

You’ve always known that he loves you, but it really bleeds through in all of the little decisions he makes for your big day. He’s more inclined to go big and flashy — and if you’re the type, he really does go above and beyond — but if you’re the quieter type, he sets the atmosphere perfectly. And he might be sweating a bit beneath the collar in the latter case, but it’s the thought that counts.

[zyxoxox]

Pools when I went to request something and I saw your blog aesthetic I just wanted to smooch all over it because it was so cute like OMGG

However I HAVE A REQUEST :3 I WAS WONDERRINGG if you could do Caesar king, Burnice white and WISEE x Fem! Ace detective reader? (BUT OFC if you don’t wanna do fem then NEUTRAL IS ALSO SUCH A GREAT CHOICE‼️)

Anyway if you do this request then THANK YOU SOO MUCH SCHOOKUMS AND HAVE AN AWESOME DAY⁉️

intuition said so!

wise x fem! ace detective!reader || 400 wc

note: wowieeee my first request hihihiii!! i’m glad my blog gives off the vibes, i wanted it to be cozy and the coziest thing for me is boba so 😌 i accept all the smooches!!!

ok sadly i’m not far enough into the game to know the first two, in fact i’ve never even heard of them before this, so im doing just wise sorryy 😭 i just his inter knot lvl 30 and met zhu yuan so. i’ve got a while to go

anywho i hope u like it! have a lovely day too!! <3

“i’m looking for the infamous phaethon. something tells me they’re on sixth street.”

funnily enough, the circumstances of your meeting was a client asking you to track phaethon down. you were in a tough spot when this mysterious hacker found you, and requested a favour- though it was more akin to threatening.

you had no choice but to go along, and though tracking their location was a bit of a challenge, you found a way into their system.

most of your pleasant clients had been proxies themselves, so you were no stranger to phaethon’s name. a part of you felt bad for exposing them like this, but work was work.

until- the hacker who commissioned you got arrested? under the name of.. phaethon?! there was clearly a lot more about this proxy than you’d been let in on, and your curiosity was officially peaked.

“wise and belle… the managers of random play video store. or i should say, phaethon?”

needless to say, the siblings were very wary of your intentions at first. you’d tracked them down… for solely your amusement? considering the nature of their work, it was a bit hard to believe.

but the more they saw your presence, they realised it really was just that- you would go on any tangent that made you curious, because you couldn’t stand being clueless.

and as an ace detective, there weren’t many questions you couldn’t eventually find the answer to.

you’d told wise and belle your connection to the loss of their account early on, and they while initially they treated you like a contact they could call upon, eventually it grew into something more. especially for wise.

“forgive me, master, but i do not understand the purpose of third assistant being here. i have accepted second assistant’s presence due to the emotional ties you have to her, but this other one’s abilities are in nowhere comparable to mine. i can analyse data with 99.99% more efficiency than-”

yeah, fairy did not like you.

and the feeling was mutual. it all started when you began helping wise with his smaller, less confidential commissions. your intuition was super useful in taking in the surroundings, and gathering bit of info and treasure he may have missed otherwise.

well, that was one reason. the other, arguably more important one, was that it was the perfect nonchalant way to keep each other company.

could fairy calculate all the things you said? probably. but it was different from you; much nicer.

the way you’d lean over his chair when he was connected to eous, the way your face scrunched up when you were analysing clues, the way you scratched your nose when your inferences didn’t align, they way you’d snap and jump when they did- wise had all your habits down.

at this point, the reason he didn’t let you in on bigger missions wasn’t because of a lack of trust, more so he knew he’d get distracted.

“wise, please don’t take this the wrong way, but your sentient ai is… unique. what about- what if-maybe we could go somewhere else? maybe coff cafe?”

and so, much to belle’s delight and fairy’s displeasure, the two of you went on a date! (neither of you called it one at the time, but belle was sure she could fix that)

you were very receptive of his likes and dislikes, even when he never had to say them. and you never forgot a word he said.

“here’s your favourite noodles! what? no, silly, you didn’t need to tell me, i figured it out! there was a stain on your shirt that could’ve only been left by chili sauce, and you mentioned you liked noodles crispy, so it was easy enough to shortlist.”

“want to go watch the next ancient aliens documentary together? how’d i know? you keep posting sky pics on the inter-knot and i know you watch weird stuff so-“

wise had a cupboard dedicated to your favourite snacks. if you got down to work, and you didn’t have the, on hand… let’s say he learnt the consequences of that the hard way.

he always had an energy bar on hand, and would hand one over before even you realised you needed one.

being perceptive to all the little details left you quite flustered at mundane stuff, and he was more than happy to go along with it.

an ace detective who couldn’t sit still, and an ace proxy who was calm always- what a sight for sixth street!

[noctivagant-corvid]

ghostknife dynamic thoughts

i really really hope that the boys do SOMETHINhg with them other than just keep will in eternal pining for The Bit. its funny, i get it, but character development wise theres four better options

just make them date its a classic, it barely changes their dynamic except making them kiss every once in a while. simple easy awesome

situationship FUNNY AS HELL, also barely changes the dynamic, feeds into So Many Bits, honestly very accurate (to me <3), you can still make them kiss occasionally but its an option, doesnt require any romance rp beyond what they do rn tbh

make vyncent outwardly reject william would change dynamic a lot but would be really interesting

make will get over vynce at some unspesificed point during time skip (PERSONAL FAV) IT WOULD BE SO GOOD FOR CHAR DEVELOPMENT, f you reallyw anna play into ghostknife you could have vynce get jealous, william could make bad jokes about how he used to be so emabrassing when he had a crush on vyncent, vyncent could be pissed about them, it would be so good for char development guys

im rooting for 2 or 4

[bishopony]

Ohhh buddy I have THOUGHTS (This is so long, I'm so sorry)

1. I actually like Twilight better as a unicorn, she should never have became an Alicorn. (And that's coming from someone who first started watching around S5)

2. However, if Twilight becomes an Alicorn then all the Mane 6 should have been Alicorns. Rainbow, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Applejack, and Rarity did just as much as Twilight! Where are their wings/horns?

(That would have been awesome for the rest of the series!)

3. You are 100% right the tree castle is horrible. It's so barren and empty and so clearly made to sell toys. The library was nice and cozy and fit Twilight perfectly.

4. I absolutely hate redeemed Starlight Glimmer. Words cannot describe how much I despise this mare. You mean to tell me Twilight would throw a child into hell but let Starlight I-broke-space-time Glimmer go?? Absolutely not.

(Sunset Shimmer is a thousand times better and everything Starlight wishes she could be)

5. I actually like that Cozy Glow doesn’t have a backstory. Sometimes villains are just evil to be evil.

That being said, they should have at least tried to reform Cozy Glow. At the bare minimum put her somewhere other than (I can't stress this enough) PONY HELL!! She's like 12 Twilight holy shit-

6. Not enough people read the G4 comics. In fact, you should stop reading this ask and go read the comics instead. Most of them are online for free. I recommend The Return of Queen Chrysalis (1-4), Reflections (17-20), and Siege of the Crystal Empire (31-34).

7. MLP G5 isn't actually that bad, but it took too long to get off the ground. By the time it went from mediocre to good, most people didn't care. (Also Hasbro got greedy and G5 paid the price, but that's a rant for another day)

Also G5 should have been it's own thing, with no ties to G4.

8. Celestia and Luna should not have retired. Celestia I can understand, but Luna? Poor Luna just got back to Earth (or whatever the planet's called), no way is she retiring like 5 years in.

9. The CMC all having the same cutie mark was dumb. (And felt like a cop-out. Let my girls be unique!) Also the cutie mark designs themselves are just the ugliest things ever. Did no one teach that designer color theory??

10. King Sombra is best villain. However they should have picked literally anyone else to voice him in Season 9. Or even have the VA do a different voice! It's not even a bad voice, it's just not King Sombra's voice.

11. The Apples and the Pies are not related. Let me ship Marble Pie and Big Mac in peace. Let people ship Applejack and Pinkie Pie in peace.

12. Sugar Belle and Big Mac are a terrible couple. Maybe they were fine off-screen, but all we see is miscommunication. The only way that marriage is ending is in divorce.

13. I actually like that EQG used pony skin tones instead of human ones. That being said, there was way too much whitewashing—just use the pony's actual coat colors. I promise you can give Luna dark blue skin and it'll be fine. (How the fuck did Habro make the character with literally white skin even whiter?? HOW?? WHY???)

14. And finally (holds up megaphone): Just because Applejack and Rainbow Dash were seen together in the end, that doesn’t automatically mean they’re a couple!!!! —Sincerely, someone who thinks AJ and Rainbow are too similar to be a couple.

Ooooo ok cool I also have some thoughts LMAO. long post so read under the cut

I also like Twilight as a unicorn more than an alicorn but I do think it was right for her to become one since it was the climax of her character arc. The problem is that the show was meant to end after she became an alicorn and it went on for several more season :,) I think she was an alicorn for far too long

Not really sure I agree with this since it was only Twilight's destiny to become an alicorn. While it would've been cool to see them as alicorns and the whole mane 6 put forth equal effort to saving equestria, it just wasn't meant to be lol.

i saw someone's AU where the castle looked more like the student 6's tree of harmony and I like that a lot more, THAT'S how you design a crystal tree house ^^'

I like Starlight Glimmer and her unconventional approaches to problem solving, but man she did get off way easy for nearly destroying the world. I mean, idk, community service or something? Also why is Cozy Glow, a child, in pony hell? Why was she trapped in stone? How did the writers think that was an appropriate punishment but other characters like Starlight and Discord get redemptions? ToT

agreeing, no extra notes lol

I have a few of them! I've read the Nightmare Rarity and mirrorverse ones, I really love the comics

Agree with this one as well. G5's issues all come from Hasbro wanting to make even more money off of G4 and not allowing G5 to be its own thing like it should have. Hasbro, a toy company, should have made way more collectible G5 merch instead of the same cheap brushables of the same 4 characters over and over. I also saw someone on twitter make a good point that the G5 show should've aired on disney+ instead of netflix since that's what most families have nowadays. truly, G5 is just a victim of corporate greed

Yeah I always felt bad for Luna for that lol. If Celestia wants to retire good for her, but at least Luna should've have stuck around and helped Twilight. Can't image Ruler of Equestria is something you just get used to immediately, esp as one person instead of two like before

Totally agree, no extra notes

He's not my favorite villain, but he is fun, and they could've gotten a better VA for him lol. Or at least changed the direction for his voice? The VA is skilled and sounds good but the voice was a little too smooth IMO.

Yeah it was never actually confirmed so it's not canon. I wouldn't worry about shipping them cause the show writers clearly don't care lol

It's kind of forced imo. They're two random characters and I think they just wanted to use Sugar Belle again. I don't remember that episode well but ig discord was stopping them from seeing each other? idk they should've just gone straight to each other. just not anything I'm invested in

Agreed, they should've had their actual pony colors if they're not gonna have realistic skin. It was weird that rarity became pure white and luna was lightened so heavily. and why is celestia pink. if they were trying to avoid racially coding the characters they certainly failed that cause it just implies that they're all white

I think some of the writers said it was canon? Or at least implied since hasbro wouldn't let them confirm it outright. I don't like appledash either way, and can just pretend it isn't real lol.