#it’ll be cool over there
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Hey y’all so uhhhhhh
I made a backup blog :3
Go give it a follow, if you wanna ofc :D
#charlotte rambles#backup blog#new blog#side blog#idk what i’ll post on there#but i’m making the intro post right now :3#it’ll be cool over there#trust 🙏‼️
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ok guys i have to come clean. the real reason i still haven’t finished chapter 4 is because for the last several months i have been trapped in tbe throes of a fucking horrendous sims 4 hyperfixation and its killing me
yesterday i innocently booted up my computer with full intent to finish the game and instead of doing even a little bit of that i ended up back in the sims with a cute human-ish dragon girl and a fully decorated house for her to live in. It Is A Problem
#trousled dumb#but she has big cool back spikes that match her glowing horns 🥺#honestly i usually make ut/au characters but this time i was editing a premade sim and then my mods possessed me for 5-6 hours . help !!!!!!#maybe if i try to make a faithful susie sim it’ll help shift me back over into Real Gamer Who Plays More Than Dress-Up Games mode#(<- it won’t btw. that’s the devil talking.)
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need to draw baji and rindou as bffs tbhhh i feel like they’d get along but it would take a while also literally because i have some music baji would listen to in my rindou playlists but who said that.. must’ve been the wind
#.☘︎ ݁˖#i just need to draw baji more but he’s hard as fuck to draw for me#his design is so simple it’s so easy to mess upppp😭😭😭 Freee mee#i know they’d bond over music and that makes me happy bc i love music#need baji to force rindou to listen to type o negative and#alice in chains.. london after midnight.. duddeeee fuck yes#i feel like rindou would already like nirvana the stone roses and maybe incubus 🤔 so they’d have that as a start#veruca salt and sonic youth toooo maybe some elastics but i dunno 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 this is just some of rins music choices i know he would listen to +#other shit that fucker listens to anything#twinnnneeennmm#name 3 nirvana songs kinda bitch Oh go to hell#FUCCK fashion too i feel like.. it’ll be different but they’re both like ohhh this cool ass bitch..#baji doesn’t think rindous that cool. Tbh. Like yeah i wouldn’t either LMAAOO#i feel like baji would think rins cool for djing and all that shit and rindou thinks baji is cool aesthetic wise#ELASTICA** btw i wrote elastics and didn’t wnana retype that whole tag..
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Sometimes I’ll be scrolling back in my Procreate library looking for a reference or something, and I’ll see an unfinished drawing and go “oh wow, that’s pretty nice! I wonder if they’ll finish it :)” before I remember that I drew that and I have to finish it
#there’s one drawing in particular especially. every time I see it I’m like huh that’s cool. hope it’ll get finished#but like I haven’t worked on it in years#and I don’t really know how to pick it back up#yknow? like what colors was I gonna use again? what brushes did I use?#maybe one day it’ll happen. I really hope so#it’s of one of my OCs that I always neglect and I’d really like to do more with her#actually I think it’s only been a little over A year. but still#art problems
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Need to share:
Went to an artist talk yesterday. People have been talking about it quite a bit around the art building because he’s so famous. Guy was egotistical and kept name dropping. Oh well.
Talks about painting dinosaurs! Okay! I’ll note that for a question I can ask at the end. I’m really anxious but I try to ask at least one question at lectures I go to. I ask about James Gurney and if he had ever worked with him or come across him, because I really look up to him as a creative, and he makes some of the most interesting dinosaur paintings I’ve seen. I’ve also learned so much from his YouTube channel and it’s a really lovely space he’s created there.
Before I can get the whole question out, dude calls him lame, tells me other artists he likes more, and tells me to do my research when I don’t recognize them. No recognition whatsoever of his skill and expertise to at least cushion the insult. Ouch.
That’s all. Anyways, James Gurney is a delight and his work is much more interesting and technically impressive, and that’s on top of him being a kinder person
#my blog#my post#lol this is kind of petty#I’m not name dropping though so at least I have that over him#art school is something else#I was walking back to the painting room with a grad student and she just said#well… he had some very specific opinions… that was interesting#and that was all LMAO#love having the opportunity to go to art talks#this was definitely up there as one of the most frustrating ones I’ve gone to#i much prefer when artists have more interesting an conceptual things to say#he just basically said ‘I did this and go so much money and everyone wanted me to do things for them’#dinotopia is so cool#how could you ever think that’s lame when you love painting dinos?? such a cool way of painting them#my painting professor asked something about his process and the guy basically just said i use that because it’s sexy and it feels#like a corpse. i could feel my professor’s dissatisfaction with that answer lmao#the main take away i got from that lecture was: make sure you make connections in the industry bc it’ll take you really far#and genuinely that is a good takeaway. not the one i think he wanted me to have but oh well#i proceeded to paint in the studio for 3 hours and think about that lmao
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cr3 is gonna end and the pc’s still feel like the same people to me :|
(crcritical content in the tags feel free to skip)
#cr spoilers#cr critical#the pacing of this campaign was shot to shit from the start and i really hope mercer learns from this and takes it into account for cr4#i actually think they need to do mini seasons like d20 does. not in the way that they’re all completely separate from one another but#the way the unsleeping city had multiple seasons or a crown of candy or fantasy high. connected arcs in a bigger story#it would give mercer more time to plan and pace things and would give both cast and crew more time to prepare things#bc this campaign was. frantic. just full speed ahead with no breathing room. it’s a marathon sprint#i still feel like the initial assault on the key was like. maybe a few months ago#IT WAS A YEAR!!!!#what do you MEAN this campaign took place over five months!!! these people don’t know each other!!!! I don’t know them!!!!!!#VM knew each other for YEARS TM9 traveled for a YEAR together#CR3 viewers have been talking about a time skip happening as though it’s a guarantee!!! TM9 didn’t end with a time skip and guess what!!#It was a good ending!!! Maybe a few loose threads but they were easily touched upon later with no issues#like idk ppl are allowed to like or even love cr3 i have no issue with that. i just think that from a storytelling perspective it’s just#so poorly paced and i think both fans and players deserve better than to be thrown into world ending stakes immediately#the initial assault on the malleus key felt like an endgame event and it was like fifty episodes in. Tm9 got to xhorhas around episode 50#characters deserve time to marinate. cr3 is a pressure cooker#don’t even get me started on braius’ inclusion. sam i’m sure your character is cool and complicated but he’s been here for like 20 eps#i dont know this man#also i feel like shorter seasons/separate arcs woven together would account more for people’s personal lives and any medical issues#like what happened with sam. ppl were hounding him asking for his return meanwhile he was being treated for CANCER like I can’t imagine#dealing with that kind of pressure. players deserve privacy however they can get it.#(also fgc’s death is to me the only narratively satisfying thing to happen in cr3 i’m not kidding#fucking perfect setup and execution. exquisitely done on mr riegel’s part#laudna has also had some great story beats along with imogen but i think matt fucked up making delilah come back i really do)#anyway all the love to the cr crew and cast if you see this ily and your stories i just think pacing needs to be taken into account#“they’re just friends sitting at a table playing dnd” i don’t think they are anymore actually#obviously they’re still friends playing dnd but like. cr3 feels so produced and i dont mean that in a good way :[ it feels so corporate#off topic i am SO FUCKING EXCITED for the switch to daggerheart! I think it’ll really breathe some new light and life into exandria!!!
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i had the ability to see WAD back in 2022, but i didn’t cause i didn’t have anyone to go with and i didn’t want to go alone
(come to find out a year later that there was a person who would’ve been open to it which pissed me off but whatever)
but i don’t care anymore; if they end up doing another tour (and they come to portland again) you better believe i’ll be first in line, being absolutely terrified at the prospect of two complete strangers sitting next to me 😌
#the things i do to further my parasocial relationship#but it’ll be alright considering we’re all socially anxious together#also my other post has over 1000 notes??#excuse me???#yall are so cool thanks besties 😘#dan and phil#daniel howell#phil lester#danandphil#amazingphil
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Fwb with Oliver who expects he’ll have to break things off once you get too attached but it’s worth it for a little fun except u never get too attached in fact ur the one who has to tell him it’s over bc he’s gotten too clingy
#I’m thinking I’m having thoughts#my avoidant attachment comes out soooo full force w bllk men it’s crazy#but anyways…..u meet u hook up once#u think it’ll be a one time thing which ur cool with#but the Oliver proposes u make it a regular thing#it’s too good u get real slutty (and so does he) he’s not satisfied with one time#probably does some cheesy don’t fall in love w me speech#but u know what this is#except at some point lines start blurring#and Oliver starts to come over without even looking to have sex#he just wants ur company watch a movie order food#boyfriend things#except Oliver is not boyfriend material and he doesn’t think he’ll ever be#and while he knows he maybe should stop it#he can’t#cause he likes u#and maybe it has to end but he wants to keep it going as long as he can#until one day ur asking him to meet up#and telling him u don’t think it’s a good idea to keep hooking up#and the truth is ur falling for him#and u know he might be feeling the same way#but u tell him that u think he’s treating u too much like a girlfriend#u lay out the facts#he has no choice but to agree#he knew it was coming he just didn’t expect for u to be the one to break it to him#but now he can’t sleep bc he can’t call u before bed#and every time he hears your favorite song ur all he thinks about#and sometimes he picks up snacks u like when he’s out for when u come over but u don’t come over anymore#he’s never been so torn up about someone in his life#omg I reached the tag limit bye
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When by dodie… perhaps one of the most aro songs of all time
#first line ‘I think I’ve been telling lies because I’ve never been in love’ come on#‘I’m sick of faking diary entries’ 👀#‘I’m waiting to live and waiting to love. oh it’ll be over and I’ll still be asking ‘when?’’ 👀#come on#hd posts#cool guy museum
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Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭
#not saying she’s not allowed to feel sad at all#just makes me think about myself LOL#I hate being aroace it’s like everyone’s part of a secret club I will never be a part of#and that people don’t tend to understand and if they do they never uphold that fact#like I actually have thrown up before from the concept of being in a relationship because it’s horrifying#and disgusting to me in a practical sense#like I don’t want to throw up every time I start thinking about those things I just want to be normal#and not panic like a relationship sounds like even worse than a death sentence#ppl think aroace is cute and problem free but it’s literally so uncomfortable and inconvenient when you’re in a world which a) doesn’t#understand wth aroace is b) doesn’t respect it at all c) has shit povs on what friendship is and how it can be more fulfilling than somethin#and d) how badly it impacts some ;-; like ik it sounds easy but try telling yourself omg I want to have a forever bestie#but then said forever bestie will never end up truly putting you first because they’d have a partner who will be their number one#and as usual you won’t even be second place you will be last like always#because I’ve noticed that the moment ppl get a partner suddenly they become their forever bestie role and then I can’t have that cause it#freaks me out and disgusts me all at once so I’m literally just cursed with forever feeling lonely and not meaning anywhere near as much to#someone who you wish could even look your way the way you do to them …#honestly by the day these reminders make me feel more and more aplatonic but it’ll simultaneously always feel like a hole in my heart#because apparently being aroace is like being some weird person and some freak#and not in the 𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎 type of connotation LMAO I mean just plain freak#and then that loneliness will always accumulate and accumulate and accumulate until I physically cannot handle it anymore or I take matters#into my own hands and just off with her head to myself LMAO#dora daily#and that is why despite aroace being cool to me it’s just not placed in an environement which makes it cool#as those assholes tend to say oh meh meh meh you never struggled girl … we’re in the 21st century every person in the lgbt community is#living the life dating who they want and being with who they want#but allegedly it is but a crime I can’t like anyone and that nobody fucking listens to me when I say I have an attraction deficit#and that they take it upon their hands to define what I’m attracted to or head canon me as whatever they are#I swear I’m not even fucking worth that shit just leave me alone 😭#I promise like if I was with somebody they will regret the day they were born by being with me LOL I am not all that in fact me being aroace#is saving them from torture ☠️ anyways ! rant over :3
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also i guess i finally have to get around to playing deltarune now
#this is really stupid and pretentious BUT#i get worried about becoming too interested in new things because they might influence my art too much#and people will look at it and say ‘oh you took that from (thing)’ and ignore anything original because fandom cool#+ it’ll take away from time i could be making art#can you tell i’ve been in kind of a one-track almost obsessive mindset over my art lately?#anyways i love/d undertale (and want to replay it) and deltarune looks amazing#it’s stupid to wall myself off from possible inspiration anyways
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i get to watch videos about all the deltarune 3+4 secrets i’ve missed now !! and. THATS 3’s secret boss?????
crying at jerma after beating jevil and spamton first try “i’m not gonna be ‘first try the secret boss’ andy every time” he was so ENORMOUSLY correct he had no idea
#deltarune spoilers#deltarune chapter 3#deltarune chapter 3 spoilers#jerma985#i rlly hope he plays 3+4 on stream tho#i think i looked in his discord server and he said he didn’t plan to but#i started watching jerma specifically because of chapter 2#and i kinda stopped watching him when he quote on quote soft retired#like i think it was my brain subconsciously going. let’s stop watching now so it’ll be less painful when it’s OVER over#then he left offbrand and lowkey came back LMAO#so it would be such a cool (selfish) full circle moment for me if 3+4 got me start watching him again#but alas. i gotta get reattached myself prob
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sorry if I become extra annoying im kinda tweaking over being on my own for the first time sooooo I might let myself become extra indulgent 💔💔💔
#‘aren’t u already super indulgent’ you’d be surprised#everything will be tagged either fanfic bullshit or gayalanwoke if you wanna block 😭#sorry i kinda maybe sorta will be having a moment. for a while.#idk if I can call myself disabled. but like yall know I have diagnosed cptsd and suspected-autism#sooooooo#taking care of myself is. not easy. At all#I can hardly manage with my parents#and now . idk. basically my routine for the past 20 years is being disrupted and im not handling it well#not only that. just.#again like I said taking care of myself in general is really hard#AND I have . college now.#lord 😭#I’ve always been a straight a student in high school and community college right#four months after my cptsd developed? I dropped out of community college 🫠#bc I literally couldn’t handle it#that was last February#now im at a . four year school#so#im tweaking#like actually this time#and since hyperfixations are All Consuming . they are as helpful as they are debilitating yk#so like yes this show/the fic might contribute to education problems. buttttt it’ll also stop me from crashing out!!!!!#so . yeah. yall might be hearing a bit more from me 😵💫#or#I’ll become extremely self conscious and never follow through#sorry#this is so funny I’m freaking out that yall might be angry im posting abt stuff that makes me happy LMFAOAOO#THIS IS LITERALLY ALL IN MY HEAD LMAOOOO#yall: hey gayalanwake! what’s up? cool binder. hey gayalanwake! wanna come over to my house today? :D#me: they alllll hated me 🐺
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I love it when my friends talk to each other…
maybe one day I can get everyone to meet each other and be friends
#ghost-rambles.txt#That’d be….#5 ppl that I’m super close with#7 if we count my other two friends that I’m not as close with but still consider like…friends#wanna be close with other the two people but there hasn’t been a thing that we’ve obsessed over together (I’ve still talked to them tho)#if those two folks read this just know I think you’re very cool and I would like to be closer but idk how…. perhaps one day it’ll spark lol
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Redraw of FUHS mari I made for a bigger canvas summarising all my FUHS designs!! It’s gonna take me a while and I’m unsure if I’ll post it anyway so here’s a little part of it I thought was silly
#I actually like how I did the rot on the old one bettwr#<— I didn’t reference it to draw this for the most part HAHSJ#yeah but something’s eye is really bothering me for some reason. it feels like it’s WAY too high up#also I think I kinda prefer the rot going over her hair even though that doesn’t make any sense hshsjs#but I do like this sketch I think it’s very silly#even if it’s just a concept sketch to show off her Cool Eye ™ JDJDJDJ#I do wanna post some of these sketches because it’ll be fun to show off the designs and worldbuilding hehe…#BUT I still am genuinely considering making it a fic and there will probably be spoils in here#so. maybe not all of it HSJSJ#ANYWAY. cleg ramble over… for now#omori#omori au#omori mari#my art
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MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE WHEREISMYHAT5678!
🎁🎄🎅

Hehehe thank you -w-
I drew a little something, I think the energy my getting back, but I made something small just in case 💗💗
If anyone wants to do something with it feel free, There’s A LOT of open space for it anyways- (I might do something with it with family but Idk 🤷♀️)
I hope all of you have a Merry Christmas!!! 🎄💗‼️💥🎉
#Merry Christler guys 🫶🫶#That being said my family is coming over so I’m gonna brace myself 😀#BUT THAT ALSO MEANS MY COOL UNCLE AND AUNT ARE COMING OVER WHOO WHOOOOO‼️‼️‼️‼️#I LOVE MY AUNT SHE’S SO SWEET AND COOL RAAAAAAH#(I saw what my Dad got my mom and it’s HUGE. I think it’ll be funny and sweet I can’t wait to see her reaction 😂)#Anways y’all have a good time. I love you (platonically) 🫶💖💗💞💕 Giving you all platonic kisses on the heads 💋
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