#it’s 1:31am so it’s clearly keeping ME up at night | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lesbianpepsi · 1 year

Text

is this love?

pairing: Vada Cavell x fem!reader

summary: reader goes on Vada's laptop and finds something very interesting on it

words: 2.204k

warnings: mentions of sex, light swearing, bad writing, let me know if there's anything else

authors note: this is my first time writing for Vada so if she seems OOC i'm sorry💀

vada (1:31am) wher r u?

me (1:33am): at home...?

vada (1:33am): cum over 2 watch a movie 🙃🙃

vada (1:33am): come* lol

vada (1:33am): cum 👉👌

me (1:34am): hilarious. why do you want me over vads?

vada (1:36am): bord and snakish

me (1:36am): it's half one in the morning

vada (1:36am): pls:( not evn for ur wife???💔

me (1:38am): what snacks do you want me to bring?

vada (1:38am): :D

vada (1:38am): takis, that choalet u like, waterlemon siur patch kid

me (1:39am): okay, i'll be over in a few

vada (1:39am): tyty

me (1:39am): 🙄🖤

vada (1:40am): 🤭🤭

You shook your head in amusement as you shoved your foot into your vans, soon after shoving your phone into the baggy hoodie you owned.

Of course only for Vada -your girlfriend- you'd sneak out in the middle of the night to bring snacks and to watch movies.

The chokehold that girl had on you was beyond tight.

Grabbing your headphones, backpack, wallet and phone you silently sneaked your way down the stairs, you took painfully slow steps to make sure you wouldn't make a sound.

After what felt like an eternity you had made it outside with the key to the garage, you quickly went to unlock it and retrieved your broken blue bike. It was barley rideable, but still good enough for you.

You locked the garage, keeping the keys in your pocket before you began biking away towards the closest 7/11.

The headphones placed on your ears filled the silence of the night with the sweet melody of Lana Del Rey.

After a handful of songs and halfway through White Mustang you arrived at the small store, it being the only twenty four hour store that was closest to yours and Vada's house.

You hopped off your bike before you entered, you had already memorised what Vada wanted. It didn't take you long before you were at the counters paying for the snacks, trying not to laugh at the clearly high worker who tried to act sober.

"Thanks." The worker gave a lazy thumbs up as he cracked an even lazier smile, you chuckled as you shoved your purchases into your backpack.

You sat back down on your bike as you checked on your phone to see three unread messages by Vada.

vada (1:43am): pls ride save 🚲🚲🚲🥽🥽🛟

vada (1:57am): jez what's takis so long?

vada (1:57am): 🪚

me (1:59am): 1) i will, don't worry❤️ 2) i have to ride to the store then to yours, plus my bike is shit. 3) no we're not watching saw, last time you watched it you got nightmares

vada (1:59am): ur alive!!!🧟‍♀️🚫

vada (2:00am): hury up

You laughed to yourself as you kept your phone back into its original position, peddling away before you took your hand out of your pocket.

Lana Del Rey's mystical voice sung a few more songs in your ears before you arrived outside of the Cavell residence.

You swiftly got off of the bike before you walked it up the pathway to keep leaning it against the wall.

Opening the gate you silently walked over to the back door to where Vada was already waiting for you, smiling brightly when she noticed your presence.

"Y/n! Hi!" She whispered yelled as she grabbed your wrist, pulling you into a hug. You smiled down at her as you wrapped your arms around her.

"Hey, Vads." You replied with a warm smile as butterflies flew around in your stomach at the contact.

The two of you stayed like that for a moment before Vada gazed up at you and stole a kiss from you before she headed towards the cabinets.

You took the moment for freedom to take off your shoes, placing them neatly in the corner of the room.

Vada went on her tippy toes as she reached two glasses from a cabinet, dropping them a bit too carelessly making you wince.

"Wanna do me a favour?" Vada asked as she grinned at you, hopping over to the alcohol cabinet as she took out a bottle of vodka.

You raised your eyebrows as you leaned against the counter. "Depends what that is."

"Go on my laptop and choose a movie for us to watch while I make us our drinks." She said as she shook the bottle of vodka daringly in her hands.

You laughed as you nodded your head, pushing yourself off the counter. "You already know what I'm going to put on."

"We are not watching Spider-Man again. I beg you."

"Fine." You decided with a roll of your eyes, somewhat not surprised Vada didn't want to watch Spider-Man for probably the fifth time this week.

Without a noise you made your way up the stairs and towards Vada's dimly lit bedroom. You shrugged off your backpack as you dropped down on Vada's snuggliest bed.

Her laptop was already on her bed so you thankfully didn't have to get back up, stretching until you reached it and swiftly pulled the laptop onto your lap.

You opened the laptop and immediately winced at the brightness, of fucking course Vada would put her laptop at full brightness at night.

You hurriedly lowered the brightness until you could actually look at it.

That's when you noticed the laptop was making a noise.

The Sims theme played lowly, an audio that was instantly recognisable. You smiled as you noticed Vada was still in her world.

Deciding there was no harm in it, you began looking around the beautifully decorated house Vada had built.

It was a perfect house for the family Tara had made.

The first sim you noticed was a toddler, a boy with y/h/c coloured hair and a freckled face.

You smiled at how cute the sim was as your eyes flickered down to the corner of the screen where a small row of sims' faces was at.

Finding the toddler's face you hover the mouse over it to get the name of the sim.

Tod Y/l/n-Cavell

You blinked, then blinked again at the name.

Y/l/n-Cavell

No fucking way.

Without hesitation you swiftly moved the mouse to hover over the next sim, a teenage girl who had dark brown hair.

Delilah Y/l/n-Cavell

A smug smile had appeared on your lips as your eyes gazed over to the two final remain sims. Promptly you clicked onto the next sim this time, which teleported you over to where the sim was.

Your eyes widened as you noticed the name and what the sim was doing.

Y/n L/n-Cavell was the name given to the sim that you couldn't see since it was woohooing the last sim.

You purse your lips as you stifle a laugh, much slower than before you moved to hover the mouse over the final sim which heavily resembled Vada's face.

Not to your surprise, the name 'Vada Yl/n-Cavell' appeared as the mouse hovered over the sim.

Just as you read the name a frantic Vada flung the door open as she practically dived in your direction, slamming the laptop closed on your lap.

With Vada half on you, half not, your eyes travelled down to her face, where you couldn't see her beauty since she was hiding it on the mattress next to your thigh.

"Please tell me you didn't see a thing." She begged through a muffled voice, you closed your eyes for a few seconds as you tried to not let out a laugh.

Swallowing any hint of laughter you said: "I didn't see anything," A small snort of laughter escaped as you muttered. "Mrs Y/l/n-Cavell."

Vada groaned loudly as she hid her face further into the bed, throwing her hands over her head as she tried to hide herself even further.

"I think it's adorable!" You said as you managed to stifle most of the laughter, Vada violently shook her head. "You're just saying that."

"No I'm not." Vada lifted her head as she gave you an unamused expression. "You're laughing."

"I'm not." You told her with a serious expression, the corners of your lift kept lifting as you fought a smile. "I just didn't expect to see a sim version of myself fucking a sim version of you." You managed to get halfway through the sentence before you let out a deep laugh, instantly covering your mouth with your hand to try to hide it.

Vada groaned as she slammed her head back down to hide in the duvet. "I'm never showing you my face ever again." Vada declared to you, you smiled as you positioned your hand on top of Vada's hand.

"And how exactly are you planning to never show your face to me again?" You taunted her with a grin.

"I'll just wear a mask everywhere like that weird Minecraft streamer." Vada exaggerated through a muffled voice as you tried hiding your laughter.

You shook your head mostly to yourself to try to stop laughing as you looked down at Vada.

"And deprive me of that pretty face of yours?" Vada nodded her head, her head still hid in the sheets. "Yes. You better start getting ready to bang me with a mask on for the rest of your life."

"Is it at least a ghostface mask?"

Vada stayed silent for a few moments, as if the words you said had actually gotten to her, before she shook her head.

"No! Making me horny won't make me forget about this."

You mentally reminded yourself to carry on that conversation another time with Vada.

"Vada, I promise you, it's not that bad. It's actually cute as shit." You insisted with no laughter that time, Vada slowly picked up her head to look up at you.

Her eyes narrowed on yours as she leaned against your thigh. "You're not bullshitting me?"

You smiled as you nodded your head enthusiastically at your girlfriend. "I'd never lie to you."

"It's still embarrassing." Vada whined as she snuggled further into your clothed thigh. You laughed lowly as you removed the laptop off of your lap, placing it onto the empty space next to you.

"The most embarrassing thing about it is that you actually think I'd let you name our child Tod." You jested with a humorous grin.

Honestly, you didn't know what was going through Vada's choosing the name Tod. You'd rather name your child Howard, a name you more than less hate.

Vada gave you a hurt look as she perched up on your thigh to be able to get a better look of you.

"Tod is a magnificent name. You'd probably name our child something nerdy like Peter." Your smile shifted to give Vada a dirty look at her words. Just because I love Spider-Man, you thought to yourself with a groan.

"There's nothing wrong with the name Peter, meanwhile there's everything wrong with the name Tod." You argued light-heartedly, the corners of Vada's lips twitched upwards, she was trying to fight her smile.

Pride withered in you at that, Vada was starting to feel less embarrassed at the whole situation.

Raising her eyebrows she gazed into your eyes. "Fine. We'll just have to name our child something absolutely ridiculous then."

You smiled amusedly as you nodded your head as if heavily interested in the conversation. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

Vada pursed her lips for a few moments as she glanced away from your eyes, deep in thought. As if she had figured out a top secret code, Vada returned her eyes to lock with yours, joy swirling around in her eyes.

"Donut." Vada assured with a nod of her head. You stifled a laugh as you cocked your head to the side like a husky. "Donut?" You repeated in a teasing tone.

She nodded her head confidently. "Donut; the second love of my life." Vada confirmed with a goofy grin on her face.

You smirked, your free hand moving to rest on Vada's scalp as you played with her soft hair. "Who's your first love then?"

"C'mon you already know the answer to that. It's obviously Bela Dimitrescu." Without hesitation you shoved Vada's head down with the hand that was on her head.

Vada laughed as she dodged your hand as she moved it so the side, landing her head back down on the top of your thigh. "Don't worry, baby. You'll always be my number one girl."

You narrowed your eyes. "Even over Bela?"

She nodded curtly against your thigh. "Even over Bela Dimitrescu."

"What about Lady Dimitrescu?"

Vada hissed as she closed her eyes momentarily before reopening them. "That's a tough one."

You sighed as you nodded your head in agreement. "Alright I'll give you that since she is so fine."

"So fucking fine." Vada whispered in agreement.

You smiled at Vada who beamed back at you with joy, a true sight for the sore eyes.

"How about instead of watching a movie we play sims?" Vada grinned as she sat up, grabbing the laptop as she sat by your side.

"I'm pretty sure my sim just impregnated yours so we can name our third child donut." Vada giggled as she opened the laptop back up.

You gave her a puzzled look. Vada's sim impregnated yours?

Why the fuck aren't you the one who had a dick?

"Why do I have to be the pregnant one?" You questioned as Vada began replaying the game. "I give off bigger dick energy than you."

You scoffed loudly at that, rolling your eyes. "Yeah right."

#vada cavell x reader #vada cavell #vada x reader #jenna ortega x reader #the fallout #the fallout movie #vada cavell x you #vada cavell x y/n #fluff #my fanficiton #fanfic #my fan fic

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kaitycole · 3 years

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late night stroll

Summary: Late night texts turn into a late night stroll.

Pairings: Mammon x gn!reader

Word Count: 1216

Warnings: Fluff, maybe even a little bit of *gasp* hand-holding

A/N: This is based off of the text thread: Invitation (NOT). I can upload screenshots if anyone wants them.

DING! DING! DING!

You let out a sigh, the constant dinging from your phone starts to drive you up a wall. It’s late, the day had been long and sleep was within reach or at least it had been. The screen is a tad too bright as you squint them open, glaring at the name on the notifications.

The GREAT Mammon (3 text messages)

Mammon: Are you awake? (1:30AM)

Mammon: You are, right? (1:30AM)

Mammon: You must be! (1:31AM)

The thought to simply ignore the messages crosses your mind, but then you think of the cheeky smile and decide to reply.

You: Yup, I’m still up. (1:33AM)

DING! DING! DING!

Mammon: Great! (1:35AM)

Mammon: Come out for a bit! (1:35AM)

Mammon: Let’s go for a walk! (1:36AM)

Almost instantly, three messages come in rapid succession. He truly did text the same way he spoke, excitedly and just letting one thought out at a time instead of one full thought, but you really do enjoy that about him.

You: Sounds good! (1:37AM)

You push yourself out of bed, grabbing the nearest pair of sweats, even with the weather getting a bit warmer, nights were still a bit chilly. A giddiness fills your chest, excited that he thought to invite you and not someone else. You take once last glance in the full-length mirror; sweats and a long sleeve would have to do because the fact you managed to put your shoes on the proper feet was a miracle.

DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!

You quickly turn the sound off, almost dropping it in the process, carefully glancing around the hallway, hoping no one had been woken up. Well, anyone other than Levi, even at this late/early hour, you knew he was still awake but his headphones would keep him from hearing anything.

The walk to Mammon’s room isn’t too far, but just long enough for you to read his newest messages.

Mammon: It’s because we haven’t been able to spend much time together, ya know. Just you and me. (1:39AM)

Mammon: So I need more of ya, Y/N. (1:39AM)

Mammon: You better not get me wrong! It’s not like I NEED ya! (1:40AM)

Mammon: So come to my room. Right now! (1:40AM)

Mammon: And make sure my brothers don’t find out. It’d be a pain in the rear if they tagged along. (1:40AM)

He really could be a huge dork when he wanted and you loved how you could feel the flustered tone through the screen. Before you could knock, he opens the door, catching you off-guard and even though he quickly tosses his head to the side, you still got a look at the blush that covered his cheeks when he saw you.

* * Both of you slowly walk down a nearby path, the night is quiet and peaceful which Mammon equates to his brothers not tagging along. You take a deep breath, taking in the nice night’s air and the lingering notes of Mammon’s expensive cologne that he had bragged to Asmo about just a few weeks ago.

Even with neither of you talking, it wasn’t awkward and that’s something you are thankful for. You really aren’t sure of what to say, what to do, because while you felt comfortable around Mammon, you also like Mammon and couldn’t keep a conversation going to share your life.

Mammon’s shoulder brushes against yours and at first you barely notice, but it continues to happen and you can’t help but glance at the white-haired demon to your left, a half smile on your face. It’s not until you playfully bump his shoulder back that Mammon finally speaks.

“H-hey! W-w-watch it!” He turns to face you, his face entirely red from embarrassment.

“Sorry.” You smirk.

Silence falls back over you two as you continue down the small path, a crisp breeze swirls around you and you shiver, your choice of attire clearly not suited for the weather. You cross your arms, rubbing your hands against your biceps, hoping it would produce some warmth.

“Humans are so dumb, here.” He shrugs off his bicolored aviator jacket before he shoves it into your arm.

“Thank you.” You smile, quickly slipping the jacket on, embracing the warmth it brings wholeheartedly.

He simply scoffs before going on a small tangent that HE doesn’t care if you freeze, but Lucifer would be upset and that he’s not scared of Lucifer, but he certainly didn’t want to deal with his older brother. Of course, all you can do is laugh because if there was one thing you knew it was how to read between the lines when it came to Mammon’s comments.

** After walking a decent distance, you both turned around, heading back to the house and the way back to the house was filled with more conversation that the first half, especially since you knew to ask him about Goldie and any upcoming money-making schemes ideas.

He is lost in his rambles, telling you about this witch that mentioned to him some super rare, not at all a fake, large diamond that she had come across when a rustle came from a nearby bush. Mammon immediately jumped, grabbing the closest thing to him which happened to be your hand and you both just stopped.

“I-I’m not scared, ya know.” But he doesn’t let go of your hand.

You smile at him, squeezing his hand in yours slightly. You watch him slowly start to turn red, all the way up to the tips of his ears.

“I wish we could’ve walked a little longer.”

“Let’s go another time!” He immediately catches what he’s said and starts stammering. “Not because you said so. Maybe I want to and you aren’t bad company.” You softly chuckle to yourself as he opens the door, holding it up so you can slip in first. Part of you expects him to drop your hand as you both tiptoe by the kitchen, neither noticing Beel who stops eating long enough to notice you both, but he doesn’t. Instead he holds it all the way up until you two reach the door to your room and even then, he doesn’t look happy to let it go.

You look up, leaving a small kiss on his cheek before walking into your room, leaving a flustered blushing mess of a Mammon on the other side.

* * “Mammon and Y/N went for a walk late last night!” Beel shares excitedly, the rest of his brothers all looking around the breakfast table at each other before all eyes landed on the guilty pair.

“Beel!” You shout, embarrassment creeping up the back of your neck as you try to conceal your face.

“WHAT!?” Levi looks up from his phone, he’d been playing the new Rui-chan phone app.

“When?” Satan adds, placing his cup of tea down.

“I saw them sneaking back in when I got my second midnight snack.” He straightens in his seat, proudly, “they were holding hands too!” “I want to hold hands with Y/N! Y/N hold my hand!” Asmo pouts, reaching his hand across the table to take your hand.

“Let’s go for a walk later.” Lucifer winks, causing Mammon to turn red, slamming his hands on the table as he stands up.

“Y/N is MY human. I was their first!”

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated!

Interested in more? --> Masterlist

#obey me!#shall we date obey me #swd obey me #obey me mammon #om mammon #avatar of greed #obey me mc #om mc #gender neutral reader #obey me imagines #mammon x reader #mammon x mc

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certifiedmoth · 5 years

Text

Delicious and Dangerous (Part 4)

Sugar Daddy/Werewolf Duncan x Reader

Summary: Y/N awakes one morning to find Duncan missing, only to have him demand she visit him at his house in the woods. As the day unfolds, she sees a different side to her lover, one that she’s not sure she likes.

Word Count: 8.8K

Warnings: fem!reader, duncan in heat, mean!duncan, bits of dark!duncan, angst, smut (oral [male receiving], unprotected sex, rough sex, lots of biting (he’s a werewolf duh), overstimulation, breeding!kink, knotting, daddy!kink, degradation, bondage)

Notes: Here’s part 4 (finally)!! I’m sorry it took so long to get out, ya girl has been busy. This is pretty much all smut, but lots of angst in there as well. I’m gonna be the first to say that some parts of Y/N and Duncan’s relationship feels really unhealthy and if I met somebody as possessive as Duncan, a bitch just might run. Anyways, this is fiction and duncan and y/n are both stupid, but I love them. Enjoy reading this shit show (and try not to hate me for that ending oops) Any comments are appreciated (even if you just want to yell at me) ♥ (gif credit to @spellman)

___

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

You awoke from a night of blissful dreams to the sound of rain tapping against your window. Groaning, you instinctively pulled the comforter up your body, relaxing further into the plush mattress beneath you, letting sleep take you once again.

Life had been truly great lately; Duncan made sure of that. It had been about a month since his little stint at the restaurant and he had made sure to be on his best behavior since then. You were sure that something would have come out in the press about that night, but oddly enough there was silence surrounding the Shepherds. Life with Duncan was actually as sweet as it had ever been. You were constantly pampered. Constantly loved and doted on. It was as if you were in a dream – one you wished to never wake up from.

Most of your attention was given to Duncan these days, but Nick did occasionally cross your mind from time to time; especially since he seemed to call you every other day. Shortly after the incident at the restaurant, you talked with him on the phone and apologized for what had happened. The truth was that you weren’t sorry for leaving him at the restaurant, you were just sorry for how you left him. Apparently, he wasn’t the Nick you remembered him to be and that was a disappointing fact you had to come to terms with. No matter how many times you dodged his calls, he never got the clue.

Although, you were living on cloud nine with Duncan, and truth be told, felt that Nick deserved the anger that was directed at him, shame filled your mind anytime it wandered back to that Saturday night. Duncan was an enigmatic soul – It was as if he was in a constant battle to find balance between his two selves. He could be intense and heated; you’ve come to find out. And when he was like that, it was hard to talk him down or convince him of anything beside his own reality. But he also showed you more love than anyone you had ever known. You sometimes didn’t know how to handle being loved that much. There were moments where you’d catch him stealing glances your way, looking at you as if you were his one reason for existing.

Any shame you felt towards him from that night quickly left whenever you thought of his gentle touches and warm kisses. Your heart fluttered and a smile always managed to find its way on your face any time thoughts of him crossed your mind. Even when he wasn’t there, you were left feeling comforted in a way you would always be grateful for.

Duncan’s behavior since that night was endearing, to say the least. You could tell he was embarrassed for his actions that night, but had too much pride to show it. So, he apologized in other ways. He catered to your every need trying to gain your favor once again. He brought you flowers and gifts, was gentle when he made love to you, and he had even promised to take you away on vacation for however long you wanted. One of his gifts, a beautiful necklace, dangled from your neck every day. He loved to bite on it playfully while he had you pinned underneath him, kissing your neck. Duncan was complete putty in your hands, even though he’d never admit it. But you didn’t care about the constant and never-ending gifts. All you wanted was time alone with the man of your dreams. Even after all this time, you could never get enough. You were afraid you’d always want more of him.

After the revelations of that night, when he confessed to you that you were his one true mate, you both came to terms with how strong your bond and need for one another is. You moved into his apartment and now it became a shared space between two lovers. Duncan was finally at ease having you this close to him – He could make sure you were always safe this way, always out of harm’s way. As gentle and sweet as he was, he was also fiercely protective of you. He would go to the end of the earth to protect you.

Every morning you’d wake up with either the sensation of his stubble tickling your skin as he placed delicate kisses all over your face, or his preferred way to wake you up, with him nestled perfectly in between your legs, placing rather more passionate kisses elsewhere on your body. It was heaven for both of you. After some fun in bed and having to nearly pry Duncan off of you, he would go to work and you would make good use of his credit card. But you always kept him in mind, making sure to buy things that he’d loved and was sure to enjoy once he got home. And that left you to your favorite time of the day, when you could hear the front door unlock and his designer boots making their way towards you. After a long day of meetings and bossing around other people, he found comfort in evenings spent with his girl. Meaningful kisses, tender embraces, and easy, genuine conversations; nights spent intertwined on the couch with your empty wine glasses on the coffee table. It was what you both had dreamed of. Domesticity. Being in each other’s company – simply being in each other’s arms. It was everything, and yet it still wasn’t enough.

You craved each other – Constantly needed more of each other. Every night ended with Duncan carrying you to the bedroom to have his way with you. To show you just how much he needed you. And afterwards, once you two were exhausted and left in a love-filled daze, you’d eventually drift off to sleep in each other’s arms, ready to do it all over again the next day. The both of you felt contempt and happy for once in your lives. Everything was just as it should be.

Except this morning, something had changed. Duncan was nowhere to be found as you finally opened your eyes, weak from sleep. The warmth from his body that always surrounded you in the early mornings was gone, and instead was replaced with a feeling of unease and worry. You furrowed your brows in confusion and reached your arm out to search for your phone on the nightstand.

7:17 am To: Duncan [Where are you?]

It was Saturday morning and he didn’t have work. He should have been right beside you, sleeping sound under the covers with his hair tousled wildly, letting out small breaths from his lips while he slept peacefully. But he wasn’t. Your boyfriend was nowhere to be found. Not in the bathroom, not in the kitchen, not in his office – He was just gone.

7:24am From: Duncan [At the other house, my sweet. I’m dealing with something. Not sure if I’ll see you today.]

You weren’t happy with that response as you twirled your necklace around your fingers, nervously. Honestly, you were just confused more than anything. You checked the date on your phone and realized it was almost a full moon, but not quite yet. He shouldn’t be changing tonight or seeking any type of solitude because of the shift. With no full moon, there was no need for it. So, it had to be something else.

Not knowing drove you crazy. You didn’t want to be the person that overthought everything, but you were. You had always been that way. In life, you liked having control and hated when things didn’t go according to plan. You liked the plan – You liked knowing what the plan was. Being in the dark made you uncomfortable, and in this moment, you could feel the urge to spiral start to take over.

With the two of you being nearly inseparable these days, you felt a pit in your stomach grow at the idea of Duncan keeping something from you. No matter how hard you had worked to trust others and open yourself up, there was always a part of you that felt anxious. Anxious that someone was lying to you or plotting to hurt you.

The last time Duncan had kept something from you it ended with you being chased by him in his other state, nearly giving you a heart attack and a mental breakdown. You thought back to the entire day leading up to that night in the woods. You had been so worried about the secrets and lies that were filling your relationship – so much that it made you burst until you sought him out and found out more than you reckoned for. But now, you had no reason to not trust him. He had showed how devoted he was to you and was consistently truthful and genuine with you – he never lied and never did anything for you to question him. So, why the secrecy now?

7:31am To: Duncan [Is everything okay? Can I come over?]

…

7:32am From: Duncan [That might not be a good idea. If I need you, I’ll let you know, baby.]

You weren’t sure what to make of that. He wasn’t being cold and distant with you; he was just away and clearly insistent on not telling you what he was up to. That hint of secrecy only twisted your insides further. But nonetheless, you sat back in defeat, deciding to trust the man you’d grown so fond of while knowing that he’d never betray you. You went to grab your laptop for some online shopping in the hopes of a sweet and expensive distraction.

Hours go by and you’ve nearly forgotten about your uncomfortable morning. A part of you cringes at the ridiculous and unnecessary amount of spending, but another part of you feels excitement for Duncan’s reaction when he sees you in your new items. You think back to your mysterious man as you sip from the coffee mug in your hand. Just as he crosses your mind, you hear your phone buzz to the side of you and your eyes widen as you see his name.

1:04pm From: Duncan [Come to the house. Now]

The urgency in his message brought back that uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach and you weren’t sure what to think. Was he in trouble? Was he mad? Had you done something to really anger him? You couldn’t tell from his message and it only made your anxiety worse. A part of you didn’t want to deal with any confrontation today, but another part of you, the curious part of you, needed to know what was going on and if he was okay. And you really didn’t want to wait long to find out.

Quickly, you threw some decent clothes on and jumped into your Porsche (another new gift from the man of the hour). You raced down the highway, a sudden burst of excitement filled you at the idea of finally seeing your boyfriend for the first time that day, even though you were still a bit nervous for what you may find. The rain hit your windshield, the noise calming you a bit as dark clouds loomed over the city in your rearview mirror; the house in the middle of the woods grew closer and closer as you noticed the familiarity of the trees on either side of you.

The moment you pulled up to the hidden driveway, you took in a deep breath trying to steady yourself and calm your nerves. Duncan’s sleek car was already parked next to yours and it only reminded you that the demanding man was inside, waiting for you for whatever reason he chose not to disclose. You let out one last breath and pushed aside whatever fears or trepidation you had and briskly left the car, trying to cover yourself from the rain as best you could. You made your way quickly to the front of the beautiful and familiar home, noticing long claw marks from where he had chased you that night months ago. It calmed you, strangely. Just to think of how far you’ve both come, how much your relationship has evolved and how much work you’ve put into it. It really put things into perspective for you and you decided that whatever it was you’d find inside; you could handle it. You’d handle it together, hopefully.

“Hello?” you asked timidly as you opened the large front door, stepping in and taking in the stagnant air of the modern house. The lights were off and Duncan’s coat had been long forgotten on the couch. The rain hit the glass on the house, creating an eerie feeling. “Duncan…?” Your voice rang once more throughout the empty house as you cautiously made your way up the stairs. And that’s when you heard it.

Small whimpers. The sound of someone in pain. Groaning and soft whines from a voice you would know anywhere.

“Duncan?” You asked with slight alarm in your voice as you pushed open the bedroom door. The sight in front of you stopped you dead in your tracks, causing a small gasp to leave your lips. Duncan laid atop the deluxe bed, a whimpering mess as he appeared to be in clear pain.

“Y/N…” his voice came out weak and desperate. Quickly, you rushed to his side, taking in the sight of him completely. A sweat broke out over his forehead and his cheeks were flushed. He looked as if he had just gotten finished with a 10K and immediately crashed on the bed. Duncan was dressed in nothing but his briefs and as you leaned your hand down to softly caress his cheek, you felt how hot his skin was. His eyes were closed tight as if in agony; his face contorted in pain. You had never seen him like this before. He looked fragile – Fragile and weak. But all of that was quickly forgotten once your eyes laid upon his lower region.

He was completely and, what appeared to be, painfully hard. His briefs barely held back his length from breaking free of its confines. You were as confused as ever, but your worries slowly started to vanish as a vague memory came back to you from a night weeks ago; a night spent drinking copious amounts of wine and sharing secrets about wolves, particularly of his kind. He explained nearly everything, from what it meant to be an alpha to mates and breeding to full moon rituals. You even remembered Duncan mentioning something about wolves going into heat when around their mates for long periods of time.

Was he in heat? Could this really be the source of his anguish? You bit your lip thinking about Duncan in this state, helpless and needy for you. The mere idea that you were the cause of this excited you beyond belief.

“Baby, is this what you needed me for?” Your small voice rang out, almost in a teasing and mocking manner as you stroked his forehead and gave him an innocent pout. His eyes shot open, revealing them to be an inhumanly shade of blue as a deep growl left his lips. The warning look he gave you reminded you of that first night you saw him here; he looked feral and dangerous, like a wild animal ready to rip something apart. Instinctively, your body moved away from him but his hand was faster. He quickly reached out and grasped onto your wrist, making sure you couldn’t leave his side.

“Duncan…” Your voice lost any hint of cockiness and now showed only concern, which caused him to slowly ease his tight grip on you. “Baby, what’s going on?” You managed to get out the last bit as you looked him over once again. Maybe you had read the situation wrong. He would never… hurt you, would he? The corner of your eye saw his hips slightly rise into the air almost as if it was his body’s way of telling you what he needed.

“I really tried not to call you over,” he looked away before closing his eyes in disappointment. “Wanted to deal with this on my own,” he added, his grip on you tightening once more. “But I need you,” his voice was dark and raspy as his eyes found yours once again. Simply having you near him strengthened Duncan and he found it in himself to sit up and move his body closer to yours. Afterall that’s what he needed more than anything – just to be close to his mate.

“I-I don’t understand… Why come here? Why not just stay home, baby?” You whispered while he leaned in and attached his lips to your neck, not wasting a second in tasting and licking your soft skin. You smelled delicious and he needed you now.

“In heat,” he said curtly, not wanting to part from your skin and growing more and more frustrated with being this close to you, but not being inside of you. “Can be dangerous for humans,” he added, continuing to suck on your skin, while moving his hands against your breasts, his strength gathering as he roughly massaged you through your shirt. He already felt some sort of relief just having you this close to him. The feeling of your body against him eased him slightly but he needed more. He wouldn’t be happy until he was comfortably and completely inside of you.

“In heat?” you whispered, a small smile forming on your lips as you tried to tease him. “Does my poor baby need my help-“ you were, quickly, cut off from the feeling of him nipping your skin roughly, warning you to not test him. Little did he know, it only made you want to push him further.

“So, you’re in heat…” A dangerous smirk played out over your features as you continued to push him. A small growl left his lips as his hold on you tightened.

��If you don’t stop, I am going to fucking wreck you,” all the warmth in his voice left. Only a cold and dangerous warning was left. Now, he actually wanted you to push him more, to give him an excuse to throw you down on the bed and make you a screaming mess.

“My daddy’s in heat, how cute,” you patronized.

You realized you might have gone too far as his body went completely still at your words. He slowly pulled away from your neck to look you dead in the eyes.

“He is,” the words sounded more like a growl as every bit of intensity and desire he had shown through the blue of his irises. He tilted his head slightly, the ghost of a smirk showing as he gripped your hip with inhuman strength, making you wince. “And your daddy is going to wipe that pretty, little smile right off of your face,” he whispered as he leaned in slowly next to your ear, enjoying the shiver that ran through your body. He lowered his head into the crook of your neck, biting hard on one of the already red and purple marks he left. “You see… Daddy needs you,” his hand rose to your throat, squeezing just enough to make you gasp. “He needs to feel you… Needs to be inside of you,” his hand squeezed harder, constricting your airway. “Unless, you have other plans and want to continue teasing your daddy.”

You shook your head side to side as you gasped for air. “No, sir,” the smallest whimper left your lips as you struggled to get your words out.

His ease on you let up and his hand found its way to your shirt, ripping it right off of your body. “Good. Now, I need you to behave like a good, little girl today while daddy has his way with you,” he whispered as he leaned in, his breath ghosting over your skin. “Is that understood?”

You nodded once more, biting your lip, “Yes, daddy. I’ll be so good for you,” you played along with him. He knew exactly how to shut you up and remind you that he was the one in charge. He appeared to be happy with your response, licking a small stripe against your neck only to suck on it and nip it lovingly.

“Mm, you’ll be my sweet, little princess?” His hands found your hips, raising you onto his waist while he leaned back down onto the bed. You straddled him while his hands ran all over your body possessively.

“I’ll be your sweetest princess,” you nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck as you felt yourself start to fall into your familiar roles. He was your daddy and you were his princess. Of course, you could be a brat at times, but he liked it most when his girl didn’t challenge him. And you craved his praise more than anything. You’d do just about anything for him if he called you his ‘good girl’.

“That’s what I like to hear.” The dark smirk that appeared on his lips sent a shiver down your spine moments before he flipped you both over and pinned you to the mattress. “My baby’s going to be ruined by the end of today,” Duncan’s lips turned into a fake, exaggerated pout but his eyes showed malicious intent. You whined, trying to raise your hips to rub against his briefs. He glared at you, silently warning you to behave. “Stay,” he ordered, reaching over and grabbing something from the nightstand, his warm body leaving you for a second too long causing you to whine again. He found his place against your body once more, only now holding two pieces of silk in his hand causing you to bite your lower lip in anticipation.

“Is that for me, daddy? I promised I would be a good girl…” you imitated his pout while your eyes stared up at him innocently. He stared right through you, calling your bluff.

“You don’t fool me for a second, little one. Even my good girl can be naughty at times… And daddy doesn’t want to deal with you challenging him or being a brat right now.” He fastened the pieces of silk around your wrists, tying you to the bed frame as a dissatisfied noise left your lips. Duncan knew you loved being able to feel him while making love, but the beast in him had no intention of being sweet with you today. The other half of him, the animalistic part of him purely just needed your body, as selfish as that was. He was blinded by the state he was in; he was ready to do just about anything to feel his cock settled deep inside of you. You noticed him being a bit harsher than normal, but didn’t think much of it. You were too preoccupied with the wetness growing in between your legs. Your wrists were held fairly tightly in the silk and you looked up at him, whimpering.

“So, daddy can’t handle me, then? He needs to tie me up?” You bat your eyelashes at him, hoping to rile him up even more; loving this game of cat and mouse you were in.

“I’d stop talking if I were you,” he leaned in close to your ear, his powerful aura making you sink even further into the mattress. You were frightened and excited for what he would do if you pushed him too far, but he didn’t give you the chance. “Actually,” a dangerous smile appeared on his face as he rubbed his stubble in contemplation. “I think I know the perfect thing to shut you up.”

Your mind instantly thought of the gag in the drawer you were sure he would pull out, but you were wrong. Your eyes widened as you saw him palm himself through his briefs, his prominent bulge begging for release. He pulled down his briefs and threw them to the floor while your mouth watered at the sight of his length bobbing up and down. Duncan stroked himself a couple of times while staring you down, getting ready for how good you were about to make him feel. You gasped when he quickly took hold of your hair and pulled your head back even further into the mattress, making your mouth more accessible to him.

“You just look so pretty like this, angel,” he spat out coldly, gripping onto your hair even harder while making his way up your body. He held his cock to your face and slapped his thick length against your lips crudely, beckoning you to open up for him. When you didn’t, a growl escaped him and he pulled on your hair even harder. It was bordering just a little too painful. “Open. Now,” he demanded, staring down at you. You obeyed him, quickly opening your mouth to him and he didn’t waste a second thrusting into your mouth. A groan left his lips as his head slightly fell back at the feeling of your warmth take him in completely.

His thrusts were fast and hard as he chased his high. The sound of you moaning and gagging on his cock only urged him to go faster; his cock easily found its way down your throat with each thrust. He slammed his hips into your mouth as you fought against your restraints. You couldn’t help the wetness forming between your legs as he used you for his own pleasure.

“Fuck… your pretty, little mouth feels so good,” he grunted. “Are you my little sex slave, princess?” His laugh echoed off the walls. “Gonna use you however I want,” he spoke while his thrusts started getting sloppier; the feeling of his first orgasm of the day starting to build.

You tried to reply to him, but all that came out was a soft mumbling against his cock. He felt the vibrations of your words against his shaft, causing a deep moan to leave his lips as he pushed his cock even further into you.

“Sorry, princess. What was that?” He teased, smirking to himself. “Couldn’t quite hear you with my cock down your throat,” he chuckled to himself. He grabbed onto your hair and picked up his pace, seeking his own pleasure. You knew he was dangerously close from the increasing sound of his moans building up to his release. His cock roughly thrust into your mouth once more and you felt him still his movements as a loud groan echoed off of the walls. His cum shot out of his tip and coated your throat as he thrust a couple more times, making sure every bit of cum he had to give you went down your throat.

He released you from your grip and fell against the bed, breathing heavily as he ran his hand through his hair, finally feeling relief from the tortures of his morning. “Fuck…” He raised his head, looking you over while taking his time sitting up. His hands graced your thigh while he noticed the innocent, needy look on your face.

“So good for daddy,” he whispered, knowing exactly what to say to please you, while leaning down to kiss your thigh. “I hope you can keep that up for the rest of the day.”

Duncan got increasingly rougher and meaner as the day went on. The once sweet and loving man you saw only yesterday was nowhere to be found today. What you had in your presence was instead, a man who was rough with you, who taunted you, who mercilessly used your body for his own pleasure. He was always a very dominant and rough lover, but he was always still tender and loving. But the Duncan you were witnessing today was all business. He used you over and over again, his appetite never seeming to ease up.

You couldn’t really complain, because you were loving every second of it. Well almost every second of it – you wished he would ease up on you just a bit, but it wasn’t anything you were worried about as he gave you world-shattering orgasm after another.

His hunger was never-ending. Whether he had you on all fours, or pushed up against the wall, or spread out on the kitchen counter, he was savagely wrecking your body, always seeking his next high. You were growing exhausted by the fifth or sixth hour, you weren’t sure anymore, but he never showed to tire himself. He only wanted more. More of you, more of being inside of you, more of being surrounded by you, more of you bending at his will. He needed it.

He tried giving you a break, but could only last about thirty minutes once he felt that uncomfortable tension starting to build on itself again. You didn’t mind – not really anyways. His never-ending need to be inside of you left you feeling full – in more ways than one. Your heart leapt every time he called you his ‘princess’, only to have your mind turn to focus on the pain and pleasure you were feeling from him thrusting into you at a relentless pace. Duncan had so much energy and stamina, it was truly shocking. He was always a dominant lover, you knew this, but he never ceased to surprise and amaze you with just how much faster and harder he could fuck you.

And now you found yourself on all fours once again, at the mercy of your rough lover. Duncan’s hands gripped onto your hips with feverish force while he thrust into you with inhuman speed. You already had two orgasms down from this session alone and you were a whimpering mess as you tried to hold onto the comforter for dear life.

“Aw, what’s the matter, little one? Can’t handle daddy fucking you like this?” he mocked you while grabbing a handful of your hair and yanking your head back to look at him. You’d never seen his eyes so dark before as he glowered at you. His dangerous smile returning once he heard the small whines escaping you.

“Thought you were going to be good for me,” his lip curled up. “Thought you were daddy’s good little girl…” his voice mocked your whimpers. “Thought you were special,” he let out a dark chuckle. “Guess not,” any warmth he had for you left his voice as he ignored the gasp that left your mouth at his harsh words.

“Duncan…” you warned, trying to get the point across to him that he was close to crossing the line. He had pushed you relentlessly all day with his ruthless comments and nonexistent sympathy and you were only now starting to feel a bit crushed by his actions. What happened to your Duncan who always made sure you were alright? What happened to the Duncan who, even though he was rough with you, always assured you that you were loved and cared for? You weren’t sure who this new person was.

“What?” he snapped. “Is daddy being too mean?” He mocked once more, thrusting into you particularly hard, enjoying the small scream that left your lips.

You lowered your head, hiding your face in the mattress and not wanting to look at him anymore as you considered his words. You were left with a bitter taste in your mouth from the way Duncan was acting. You weren’t sure why he was being so cruel, especially when he knew how vulnerable you were in this state. His words were cutting a little too deep and you found yourself stifling a new onset of tears.

“Rose.”

Duncan fought the beast inside of him and stopped immediately at the sound of your shared safe word. You had never used it before in all the time you had known him and he wasn’t even sure if he had heard you correctly. He fell back onto the mattress and stared in disbelief as he felt his world come crashing down around him. Shame surrounded him as clarity started to fill his senses. It was as if a veil was lifted and he could finally see how cruel he had been this whole time.

“That,” Duncan muttered, while staring at his hands. “That wasn’t me,” you heard his small whisper as he spoke mostly to himself. He looked around his surroundings trying to gather himself before his eyes fell on you. You saw every ounce of heartbreak in his expression as his blue eyes started to well up with tears.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he sounded weak, even ashamed. He hesitated before reaching for you and gently caressing your leg. “Baby, I don’t- I don’t know what came over me.”

“I don’t like how you were talking to me,” you placed your hand on top of his. You needed to tell him the truth, but he just looked so devastated by the fact that he hurt you, it killed you to see him like this.

“I kept pushing you and I should have known better,” he let out a shaky breath, coming to terms with how awful he had been.

“And I should have just communicated with you from the get-go.” It was the truth. You should have told him how you felt the first moment you felt the slightest bit uncomfortable. He lifted his head and shifted his eyes from his hands to your eyes.

Duncan shook his head in denial, “I should have known.”

You could tell he’d beat himself up over this for probably the rest of his life. He’d most likely never come near you again while in heat; the thought alone made you sigh in disappointment.

“Come here… please,” your voice was soft as you gestured to the pillow lying next to your head. He softly lowered himself next to you, turning on his side to face you. His hand found your waist and he rubbed small circles while staring at you through glassy eyes.

“Okay, here’s what you’re not going to do. You’re not going to think about this all the time and let it destroy you,” he had opened his mouth to speak, but you quickly placed your hand over his lips to stop him. “Because I’m fine,” you stared into his eyes, making sure he understood. “And I forgive you and I love you.” He let out a long sigh against your hand – Sometimes he felt he truly wasn’t deserving of you or your kindness.

“I understand today has been… a unique occurrence and neither of us really knew how to navigate it. But I trust you, no matter what,” you reassured him while moving your hand to stroke his cheek. “Please don’t let this deter you from ever touching me again. I promise I’ll communicate better if you promise to always hear my needs.”

“Always,” Duncan spoke right away. “My love… I’m just so sorry. I didn’t mean any of those cruel things I said,” he looked like a lost puppy in this moment. It was always so interesting, and in a way absurd, to see him look so vulnerable. He prided himself on being the tough and powerful type, so when you did get to see moments where he looked small and hurt, it reminded you of how sensitive he truly could be.

He continued to rub small circles against your skin while he melted into your hand against his cheek; his stubble tickled you and the familiar feeling filled you with a new adoration for the man lying in front of you.

All Duncan thought of was how amazing you were. How beautiful and kind and caring. How you were completely his; it was something he would always be in awe of. He knew he fucked up. He knew that no matter what you said and how understanding you were, he fucked up. He’d give anything for your forgiveness and you already gave it to him so easily. He truly didn’t deserve you – He felt that in his bones.

“You’re my angel… you know that, right? I love you so much,” he whispered, leaning forward to ghost his lips over yours. You pulled him in for a tender kiss and you knew in that moment you had your Duncan back.

Minutes go by… And then hours go by… and Duncan still has you wrapped up in his arms. This whole time, he’s done nothing but share sweet nothings in your ear and place gentle kisses in your hair. He was still in heat, but could feel himself coming down from it. Being this close to you was, in a way, still difficult for him, but he controlled every urge he had – Even if parts of his body didn’t. You could feel how hard he was against you, but no whimpers or moans this time from being in pain, so you knew he was going to be okay. Only the occasional groan when you moved your body, which had you stifling giggles each time.

Lying beside him like this was perfect – but being this close to him with his warm breath ghosting over your skin and his hands dancing across your hips, it made you crave him in a different way. You had thought you were truly his perfect mate, to still want to go for another round with him after having sex for hours. You had to stifle a laugh but he noticed. He always noticed.

“What’s so funny, my love?” He entertained you, a genuine smile on his face as he turned on his back, bringing you to lay on his chest.

“Hm, nothing,” you tapped your finger across his warm chest. “Can I have some water, pretty please?” You asked with puppy dog eyes, as you lifted your head to look at him.

“You want me to go all the way downstairs for some water?” His eyebrow rose in question.

“Do you want me to die of dehydration?”

He rolled his eyes at you while a smile formed on his lips. “Don’t joke about that,” he kissed your forehead before getting out of bed.

You needed an excuse to get up and stretch. Okay, maybe you also needed some time to think about how to get Duncan to touch you again. To really touch you again. You were sure he’d be against it, but you wanted him. And you knew he wanted you, too. You were reminded of that when you ran your finger across your stomach where some of his precum had leaked onto. You knew he was holding back… All you needed was a way to make him let go – At least just a little bit.

You stood up, nervously playing with your necklace around your fingers, thinking about how to get him to give you what you wanted when his tall frame appeared in the room. You jumped up in surprise causing a small laugh to escape him.

“Somebody’s jumpy,” he remarked, making his way over to you with your water in his hand. You looked him over, not bothering to hide your sultry eyes or the way you licked your lips at the sight of his hard cock bobbing up and down.

Duncan cleared his throat, looking at you amusingly. Your cheeks grew warm at the smug look on his face; you turned around quickly, not wanting him to catch any hint of embarrassment on your end. A smirk played out on his lips as he reached over you to place your water on the night stand before wrapping his arms around your body.

“Something you wanted?” his voice was soft as he placed a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

“Mhm,” you teased while you reached behind you for his hard length. The mere sight of it had made your mouth water; your mind raced with excitement. Duncan bit down onto your neck and let out a deep growl at the sudden sensation. His teeth dug into your skin as a warning, but it only deepened your arousal. You moved your hand languidly across his length, letting him know that you simply wanted to please him, to give him what he so desired.

“Baby, we shouldn’t,” he spoke against your skin. He wanted nothing more than to let you continue touching him like this, but he didn’t want to risk the darker side of him coming out again.

“I want to, though,” you whispered, rolling your head back onto his shoulder. “I want you. And I trust you, and I love you. Please,” you breathed out, feeling his cock twitch in your hand.

Duncan let out a small sigh before speaking. “Okay,” his voice was quiet as he placed his lips gently to your neck. He released his grip on your waist only to take your hair in his hand and pull your head back, granting him more access to your neck. You continued stroking him as he worked his tongue over the bite marks on your skin.

“On the floor, baby,” he orders gently. You immediately do as he says, taunting him on all fours with your ass on full display for him. Seeing you like this, on your hands and knees, a whimpering mess, only excited the beast in him more. You turn around slowly to find him fixated on the sight of your helpless state, as his precum glistens and drips to the floor. He lowers himself on his knees, licking a long stripe up your back all the way to your neck where he bites down gently.

“I can smell how fertile you are, princess,” he emits a low growl as his hot breath fans over your skin. “It’s been driving me crazy all day,” his hand reaches down in between your thighs and dips into your folds, gathering your arousal on his fingers. He pulls back reluctantly, bringing his hand to his cock while rubbing your wetness on his tip, mixing your arousal around with his precum.

The squelching sounds of him getting himself off is too much for you and you turn around to make yourself face-to-face with his neglected cock. You look up at him through innocent eyes while leaning forward and pressing your lips to his tip, kissing him ever so gently. He growls excitedly and presses his cock to your face, smearing his precum over your lips and cheeks, marking you as his. His mate. His little plaything. Whatever he wishes for in this moment. You’re his.

He forces your lips open with the tip of his cock and he gently thrusts into you. You happily accept him into your mouth and moan at the salty taste of his precum on your tongue. He humps at your mouth a couple more times before you feel the base of his shaft start to swell. He had warned you about this before. Something that occasionally happens to his kind while aroused. You had never experienced it before, but you were more than excited to take his knot. Except, he instantly pulls out of you and pushes you back down onto the floor.

“You’re mine,” his voice is raspy and low while he pumps himself a few more times.

“Always, Duncan,” your voice is soft as he grabs your body and flips you over with ease, making sure you’re on all fours again. He grips onto your hair with one strong hand and pulls your head back lightly. He smears the rest of his precum along your ass as he searches for what he’s looking for. He finds the wet, warm opening he was desperate for and instantly thrusts into you, yanking on your hair as he bottoms out in you. There was no pain, only pleasure as he stretches you out completely.

Duncan made sure to control the beast in him as best he could, but still set his fast pace. His hips snapped into yours quickly as he chased his release, wanting nothing more than to spill his seed into you. It’s where his cum belonged – every single drop inside of you. He’d give it to you over and over again until you were full of him and only him.

Your moans steadily got louder and louder and in retaliation, he releases your head and leans down, holding your back close to his chest as he bites down on your neck again. His thrusts are deep as he growls in your ear, warning you to behave.

“Gonna drain every drop inside of you,” he promises. The swelling on his length you felt earlier starts to come back and the sensation combined with how primal he’s being nearly throws you into your own orgasm.

“This is what you’re made for,” he smirks to himself, “For carrying my babies.” His thrusts only grow more erratic as he chases his release. “You gonna give me some pups, babygirl?”

You’d never talked about children before and you weren’t sure what he was going on about, but you couldn’t help how turned on you were by his words. You nearly cried out just from the way he was talking to you. His knot hit against your opening with every thrust, massaging you as you start to come undone.

He was being relatively gentle with you before, but now as his need builds, he starts thrusting into you eagerly. His eyes darken and he growls deeply as he breeds you.

With one last thrust, he pulls you back into him and he forces his knot inside of you, connecting you both as he starts to fill you with his warm cum. Duncan lets out a strangled growl that slowly blends into loud groans, echoing off the walls. If you weren’t in an isolated house in the middle of the forest, you might have been afraid of the noise level. But with how vocal he was being and how amazing it felt having him release himself in you, your mind turned elsewhere.

Your body feels like it’s been set ablaze and your own orgasm hits you hard. Duncan holds you up as pleasure takes over your body and you feel every wave of bursting electricity pass over you. Your desperate moans fill his ears and it causes more cum to leak out of him. He leans down to kiss your neck as he paints your walls with a new steady stream of his seed; his quiet groans vibrate off of your skin. You’re positively full of him and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

He breathes heavily against your skin as you both try to steady yourselves. The swelling from his knot starts to go down, but he continues to stay deep inside of you. He finds pleasure from having you cradled under his body, his cum seated deeply in you. The animal in him wants to put life in you and wishes more than anything to impregnate you. But Duncan knows you two haven’t had that conversation yet and he knows you’re on the pill, making his efforts useless. His deepest desire that he was too afraid to talk to you about finally just revealed itself and he’s unsure of how to go about it now. He realizes there’s no use in keeping you two in this position anymore as you won’t bear his children this time, so he pulls out of you reluctantly.

You feel his cum drip down your legs and gather onto the floor in a puddle as he watches the sight with sad eyes. He thinks to himself, “What a waste.” But he’s immediately snapped out of his thoughts when he hears your small voice calling to him.

“Duncan,” you happily sigh, turning around and laying down in exhaustion. You think you’ve finally reached your limit for the day; you don’t think you could go for another second with him. You bask in the aftermath of your orgasm, exhausted and feeling sleep call your name.

“You did so good for me, baby,” he forgets his woes and places gentle kisses all over your face while praising you and worshipping your body with sweet and tender touches. He knew you had had enough and he wouldn’t dare push you any further. After all, he was still ashamed for how awful he had treated you earlier and now, for trying to breed you. Hell, he was ashamed for calling you over in the first place and making you deal with him in this state. He knew you deserved better – that you deserved someone who was sweet and gentle with you. And as hard as he tried, he was still an animal. He swore that he’d always protect you, but could he protect you from himself?

“Baby,” your voice broke his chain of thoughts again as he instantly found your eyes with his own cerulean ones. Your hand reached for his that stroked your cheek and you looked at him knowingly.

“Don’t do that,” you spoke with little energy, you already felt your bed calling for you. He’d have to carry you to the shower and bathe you himself before laying you in bed for the night; you had no energy to do it on your own. “I know that look and I know what’s going through your mind, stop it,” you lightly chuckle, squeezing his hand.

“Baby, you deserve better than what I can give you,” his face contorts with sadness as he thinks back to the events of the day. His words are painful to hear as you stare at him in disbelief.

“Duncan. Shepherd. Don’t you ever say that again,” your voice wavers as you fight back a small onset of tears. “Baby, that isn’t true. I’m yours and your mine. Always, remember?” your voice breaks as you try to calm him. He sighs while slowly nodding his head, comfort settling over him.

“I know,” his voice is as soft as you think you’d ever heard it. He looks so vulnerable in this moment, you’re afraid to even touch him out of fear of breaking the man in front of you. “Always…” he ponders the word. “Promise me you mean that?” His voice is raw with emotion as he begs, tears forming in his eyes, causing them to look like two perfect swirling oceans.

“Of course I promise,” you reassure him. “Now, take me to the shower, please,” you whine and laugh, sleepily.

Duncan sighs contentedly before leaning down to place a gentle kiss on your lips. “Alright, come on,” he joins in on your laughter as he helps you up.

“No, carry me,” you whine like a little child causing him to laugh a bit louder.

“You know, I’m tired, too-” He was cut off by the sound of a tree rustling around outside the window. Both of you stop dead in your tracks, Duncan with his brows furrowed and you with your eyes wide in surprise. You instinctively grab the bed sheet and cover yourself, while Duncan lets go of you and makes his way to the open window. Of all the times you had ever been here, you’d never heard that noise before. It wasn’t possible for somebody to just “stumble” onto this land. It just wasn’t.

“Duncan,” your voice was small and scared. There was always something eerie about this place and any strange sounds you heard now were not helping. You quickly found your place beside him again, realizing that that was the safest place to be. Both of you stared out into the dark of the night, looking for the cause of whatever made that curious noise.

“Baby, I don’t like this,” you whispered. He placed his arm around your waist, comforting you while he glared into the forest. And that’s when you saw it.

You were in disbelief. Shock and confusion overtook you and you couldn’t comprehend what you were looking at.

“Nick?” your voice spoke, mostly to yourself as you tried to comprehend the sight in front of you. Nick emerged from behind the trees and looked you dead in the eye before turning his gaze to Duncan and immediately running in the other direction. But what stuck out the most was the camera in his hands.

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Duncan’s chest breathing heavily. His face was contorted in a type of anger you had never seen before and wished to never be on the receiving end of. His jaw was tense and his lip curled in disgust.

Duncan was fast. Too fast. He reached for his sweatpants, pulling them on before slamming the door open, nearly knocking it off of its hinges. He was down the stairs before you could catch up to him, leaving a trail of destruction in his path.

He reached the front door just as you got downstairs. In a heated fury, he opened the front door letting in the cool air of the night before running outside into the darkness.

“Duncan!”

Part 5

Taglist: @mega-combusken, @lathraios, @sojournmichael, @1-800-bitchcraft, @ladynuwanda, @babypinkstyles94, @babydollcake, @lunarfawns, @langdonsdemon, @avesatanormalpeoplescareme, @fckinsupreme, @langdonsinferno, @michaelsapostle, @kleineshaschen, @whydonthumansfly, @junkful, @solitalangdon, @ultralightbeamsnstuff, @leaveittothewolves, @olobersy, @pumpkinspiceharry1, @femaleantichrist, @peachesandfern, @bloodsuckinvampire, @freak-war-hour, @trelaney, @hplotrfan, @kiiteiru, @chirpdesu, @avesxtxnas, @blakewaterxx, @breakingsupernaturlbad101

#duncan shepherd #duncan shepherd x reader #duncan shepherd fic #cody fern #sugar daddy!duncan #werewolf!duncan #house of cards #my writing

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catfishandthebottlefan · 5 years

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#9 - Touring. Part 1 - Airport.

A/N - This is my first attempt at a chaptered fic! So it’s like the diary of the American tour. I’ll release it in parts :) This first part is when they’re at the airport <3 ~ A x

“You ready to go, babes?” Van calls softly from the hallway.

You’re still upstairs, taking a deep breath to inhale the sweet, homely scent of yours and Van’s bedroom for the last time in 3 months. You try to notice the plush feeling of your grey carpet between your toes, and you force your brain to remember the exact position of certain trinkets, such as framed photographs of you and Van, or ornaments with sentimental meaning to you. Van, a confident Leo, didn’t seem bothered by constantly leaving for tours - if anything, he preferred to be on the road. But you, a shy Cancer, were a homemaker, treasuring sentimental values, and needing a comfortable nest to retreat back into whenever your comfort zone felt under threat. It seemed cliché to blame it on zodiac signs, but fuck it, you believed in that shit.

You dust the heart-shaped photo frame containing a photo of you and Van when you first started dating. You look at your 16-year-old self. You were short and slightly tubby, but, in Van’s words, “in a cute kind of way”. You wore denim shorts, with fishnet tights underneath, and a pair of Timberlands. Most importantly, however, you wore a slightly too big t-shirt with “Catfish and the Bottlemen” printed on the front.

The first t-shirt Van ever sold was to you.

In your left hand, a lit cigarette smouldered, and on your right, a lanky, 18-year-old Van stood leaning against you. Clad in a black, cold-shoulder jumper and black skinny jeans, his cigarette hung out of his mouth lazily, as both of his arms were wrapped tightly around your waist. A moment of pure love, captured sneakily by your local undercover photographer (as well as Catfish’s drummer), who went by the name of Bob Hall. You remember how your parents hated Van, believing he was a bad influence. Well, to be fair, he bought you cigarettes and vodka when you were clearly underage. However, after getting to know him, your family quickly fell under Van’s spell of charm, and his clear adoration towards you. Who couldn’t love him?

You go to replace the photo back onto your nightstand, but change your mind, hastily shoving it into your handbag. You take one last look at your bedroom before shutting the door and walking downstairs.

“Yep, I’m all ready.” you say, meeting Van’s cheek with a kiss as you pull the handle of your suitcase up.

“You’re gonna miss the place, aren’t you?” Van asks, almost sympathetically. He couldn’t understand your need for home comforts and security, but the boy tried, and you loved him for that.

“A little,” you reply, “But I’m ready for the American adventure!”

“We’ll be back in no time.” Van reassures you, not quite believing in your optimistic tone.

You follow him out of the front door, and shiver in the cold night’s air as you drag your suitcase towards the cab. As if out of instinct, Van places his grey trench coat over your shoulders like a cape. Larry was already loading his bags of both clothes and guitar gear into the boot of the taxi. Van loads two guitars and a big suitcase, leaving just enough room for your little bag of clothes. Fuck gender stereotypes, you, the only woman, had the least luggage of all.

“Christ, yous two took your time!” Larry teases, cheerfully, “What were you doing?”

“Y/N was just making sure she’d said goodbye to the house.” Van laughs.

“Gotta make sure he knows we’re not leaving forever!” you giggle, “Was just telling him we’d be back soon and all that shit!”

“You’ve got serious attachment issues, Y/N,” Larry laughs.

“Oi, at least I make my bed and do my own washing!” you joke back at him. Larry was notoriously bad at housekeeping, and was probably the messiest person you’d ever lived with. You and Van made sure he could confine his mess to one room and his own en-suite when you bought the house. There was no question that Larry would move in with you both - he was a right laugh and kept the mood jolly even when everything seemed to be going wrong.

“Right, are we ready to go?” Van asks, hopping into the back of the taxi next to you.

You sit in the middle, with Van on your right and Larry to your left.

“Yep!” you reply.

The taxi pulls slowly away from your driveway as you begin the 2 hour drive to Heathrow airport.

You awake to the sound of Larry giggling beside you. You lift your head slowly from Van’s shoulder. Van remains asleep, and you take your phone from your lap to check the time. 4:31am - you had half an hour until you’d be at the airport.

“What’s so funny?” you turn to Larry, suspiciously.

“Nothing,” he replies, “Look at this Vine.”

The Barbecue Sauce On My Titties Vine plays.

“I’ve already seen that one.” you croak, your voice still sleepy.

“Never gets old though.” Larry chortles.

“You’re right, that one’s a classic.” you laugh back.

“Look at him.” Larry motions to Van, whose head lolls against the window. He looks so peaceful, and your heart flutters with love for your boyfriend. You kiss his cheek gently, and watch him stir sleepily. His nose twitches first, then his right eye, before he opens both his eyes sleepily.

“You’ve woke him up now!” Larry says, half-annoyed, half-amused, “Oi, Van, have you seen this Vine?”

Van simply groans, placing his hand in yours.

“How long left?” he croaks.

You check your phone. “Approximately 24 minutes.”

“’Approximately’.” Larry snorts.

“Do you ever shut up?” Van asks, and Larry pulls a face in mock offence, “Actually, I know the answer to that - no.”

The taxi pulls into the airport at 5:04am. It’s still dark outside, and the November air bites your cheeks as you stretch and get out of the taxi. You begin to shiver - you always do, not only when you’re cold but also when you’re excited or nervous. You feel all of those emotions, thus your whole body shakes.

“Babe,” Van gets out of the cab, handing you his grey coat again “Put this on.”

You weren’t cold, and although the jacket wouldn’t help you stop shaking, you loved wearing Van’s clothes, so you take it and wrap it around you like a cocoon.

Van disappears for a split second, returning with a trolley for the luggage.

“Larry, mate, we might need another one of these.”

Larry returns with a trolley, and you help the boys stack the suitcases carefully onto each one between shivers. If not, they’d stack them so haphazardly there would be an accident somewhere in a terminal.

“Where are the others at?” Van asks, concerned, “They were supposed to get here before us.”

As if on cue, Bondy appears at your side, pushing a neatly stacked trolley full of suitcases and some musical equipment.

“I guess this was your doing?” you gesture at the trolley, looking at Bob.

“Of course it was him!” Bondy laughs, “Imagine if me or Benji tried to stack it!”

“Well, I don’t think Benji would be so bad,” you say, “But you, no way!”

Bondy looks offended. “I’m not that useless!”

“I had to stack the trolleys for these lids too, I wouldn’t worry about it.” you reply, laughing.

“Let’s go lids!” Larry shouts, sprinting ahead with his trolley.

“I’ll race you!” calls Van from behind, sprinting and pushing his trolley into the terminal.

You and the rest of the gang are in peals of laughter as you see families usher children out of the way, and elderly people tut disapprovingly.

“I guess we better get a move on then.” Bondy says, and you all follow Van and Larry into the departures section of the airport.

You eventually catch Larry and Van up at the baggage check in. The airport’s not too busy with holidaymakers at 5:30am, so the queues are fairly short.

You hold Van’s hand as you watch the bags disappear down the conveyor belt. You must’ve looked worried as you lose sight of your luggage, as Van says, “Don’t worry, you’ll see them again tonight.” The woman behind the desk laughs, as you wait on the other side for the rest of the boys. You stand, daydreaming about duty-free shopping, when, all of a sudden, you feel a gentle tap on your mid back.

“Y/N?” a voice says, “Van?”

You both spin around to see a pair of young girls, who look about 15. They remind you of yourself at your age - one wears fishnet tights, shorts, Timberlands, and, most importantly, a Catfish t-shirt. The other wears ripped skinny jeans and a The Kooks t-shirt.

“Hi!” you smile, cheerily.

“Oh my god, Emma! It’s actually them!” the Catfish girl grins, grabbing onto the Kooks girl’s hand.

“Nice shirt.” says Van, smiling at the Catfish girl initially, then both girls, who look dumbfounded.

“Can we please have a picture?” the Kooks girl asks, shyly. The Catfish girl looks lost for words.

She pulls her phone out, and takes a selfie with you and Van. In the background, Larry waves at the camera, Bondy also smiles at the camera, but Bob and Benji are in a world of their own. Typical.

“Want me to sign anything?” asks Van, as the Catfish girl hands over her iPhone.

“Can you sign the case?” she grins.

“Of course.” Van replies, reaching for the Sharpie he keeps in his shirt pocket for special occasions like this one.

“When I was your age, I used to dress just like you.” you tell the Catfish girl.

“What’s your name?” Van interrupts, halfway through signing.

“Grace.” she replies shyly.

“I’m Emma.” the other girl smiles.

You remember the photo you’d snuck into your handbag earlier, and pull it out to show Grace.

“I’m 16 here, look,” you say, showing her the picture, “Same outfit! That’s the first t-shirt he ever sold.”

Grace looks stunned, and leaves you slightly stunned after she enthusiastically throws her arms around you.

“It was so nice to meet you.” says Emma, “Have a great tour!”

“Thank you, Emma.” Van replies, “Keep buying t-shirts, Grace!”

The two girls laugh, their brace-covered grins stretching from ear to ear as they trot back to whoever they were travelling with.

“They were sweet.” Van says, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“Very.” you reply, as you and the boys advance towards the boarding gates.

#catb #catfish and the bottlemen #fanfic #fanfiction #van mccann #vanfic #bondy #larry lau

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yourlocalbarlizard · 6 years

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i’m in the library, it’s 12:45am, and i’m salty af

This title comes from something I heard at King library during the roughest 24 hours I’ve ever had. It goes as follows:

11:40am

I go to cognitive psych, I have a friend in the class with me. We plan to study after the class.

1:00pm

My friend and I go to King where we have a study room. We’re in another psych class together, one that had a paper due at 8 am the next day. We’re trying to map out the concepts for our papers, making every visual diagram you could think of. We were lost and had no idea how to make our arguments and develop our hypotheses.

3:30pm

Our time in the study room is up. We go to the office I have in the student center. We continue making diagrams. Our other friend from the class comes too. We were approaching our fifth hour of just mapping out the ideas with no luck. We did this for literally two hours, our brains were dead, but it would get worse.

6:00pm

I leave to get dinner with a sorority sister. My two friends head to the library to continue working on the research paper.

7:30pm

I meet my friends back at the library where we are starting to get to the actual writing of the paper. I still had a few holes in my research so I did some more planning. I had about a paragraph of the whole research paper written. But I had a really good outline, as I kept reassuring myself.

10:30pm

My one friend is brain dead so she goes home. Now just me and my original friend from the cognitive psych class who has been suffering with me all day remain.

12:31am

This is where it takes a turn. Boy hadn’t contacted me or tried to take me home since I had a mental breakdown in his car about two weeks ago. I was surprised he was talking to me, but not mad about it. Basically, I tell him I was definitely not at the bar and was at king, and would be for a while.

2:00am

At this point I realize I have hours and hours of work to do. my friend was close to being finished, and I was going to be alone in King all night. Well, at least until boy texted me. I hadn’t realized how far behind I was, that’s when it hit me how little time I actually had until it was due. 6 hours.

2:30am

Boy arrives at the library. He’s still kind of drunk, not that I blame him, he just came from brick.5 and a half hours.

3:00am

My friend is officially done. She leaves and now it’s just me and boy. He’s starting to flirt a little. I told him I look probably the worst he’s ever seen me. When he put his hand on my leg I told him, sorry my legs are prickly, I didn’t shave. I mean, I had been studying for 14 hours, what was I supposed to look like? He’s distracting me, but I. am. writing. 5 hours.

4:00am

Boy is getting tired and impatient. I tell him I appreciate his company but he could go home. He said he would wait. I keep writing, starting to panic that I wouldn’t finish in time. Boy now asks me to come over. I look at him and tell him, once again, that I had hours of work to do and not enough hours to do it in, I definitely did not have time. But I gave in. My brain was fried. It had been so long since I had been with someone. I’ve been rejecting him every time he tries to get me to come over when I see him uptown, and I was tired of it, because I want to hook up too. I emphasize that I had to finish my paper and that nothing would happen. 4 hours.

4:30am

We get to his apartment. I sit at his kitchen counter and write. He keeps asking how much longer. I guess every time I said I would be finishing closer to 8 am, he didn’t hear it. He goes and lays on the couch. I. KEEP. WRITING. 3.5 hours.

6:30am

I finish with the writing part of the paper. I just have to put it in APA and add all the charts and everything. I go sit on the couch where boy is and tell him. He pulls me close to him so I’m laying on his chest. It felt nice after how stressed I had been for hours on end. I get up and I try to get everything done. I run into some problems with my stats program and my computer, so that slowed me down a little.1.5 hours.

7:15am

Everything is done for this paper. I just have to proofread. Boy tells me I can go to his room and sit on the bed to edit. Clearly, this is the most logical place to do that, so I go to his room. I’m editing and he starts to put his hands under my clothes. Slowly, at first. Just by my hips, but he knows what he’s doing, He works his way around my body and it just made me crazy not being able to drop everything. 45 minutes.

7:57am

I have finished. I drop my computer off the bed and I roll over next to him. 3 minutes.

11:00am

I wake up. Boy isn’t really awake, but I tell him I’m bored. We fix that.

11:30am

We have the talk. He says he doesn’t want a relationship. I knew that. He says he doesn’t date. I knew that. He says he doesn’t want me to catch feelings. I tell him I don’t think I will. He doesn’t seem to believe me.

12:00pm

He drives me home. I’m still wearing his sweatpants.

#love is a lie #blogger #text post #dear diary #diary entry

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ruveluarna-blog · 7 years

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Development, Process, Collaboration

(This is our entire Facebook chat group, which shows our process of thought and elimination).

Hey gals! Alrighty, we need to get this project underway! Let's all post our ideas on here and we can throughout the week decide on an idea we really like? MarleenaYeah that sounds like a good idea i will get back to u guys with an idea tomorrowMAR 31ST, 11:20AMMarleenaOkay, so there's a work in week 4's powerpoints (topic: responsibility) called "Rythm 0" by Marina Abramovic. Basically, Abramovic lay out a bunch of props and allowed museum goers to manipulate her body, with or without the props, for six hours. Yoko Ono did a reinterpretation of the idea, but allowed the audience to take turns snipping pieces of cloth from her clothes.MarleenaI think it'd be really interesting to take these ideas and spin them in a more positive and constructive way. (The Rythm 0 artwork ended pretty "violently" - someone used the provided loaded gun to position it against her forehead, and then there was a fight in the audience to make them stop etc)ImmiYes will have a look into this later today !MAR 31ST, 1:19PMYes I really liked that one, I checked it out on YouTube!I'm down for thisMaybe we can even do an installation type thing and record itSo many ideas! Where do you live Marlena?*marleenaI'm thinking we should all get together sometime before class next week if we can, if not we can prepare it all over here MarleenaI live near liverpool, western suburbs Im still trying to brainstorm ideas on how we could reinterpret the work tho Hmm okay that's like a 55 minute drive MarleenaLOL we can try meet up at uniI reckon if we all agree on this artwork, let's each brainstorm ideas on any sort of way in which we could reinterpret it, then just post ideas here. Maybe on Sunday we can try and decide on what we like best?Yeah I think so hahahMarleenaokay lets do that, sunday we'll make a decision on what idea to pursue Im not too familar with "time-based work" sooo gotta do some researchMAR 31ST, 6:09PMImmiAPR 1ST, 9:37PMHaha all good!APR 1ST, 11:19PMHere are some very rudimentary ideas so far!Oh I just had an idea, we could go up to randoms on campus and out in the city and get them to write one word and hold it in front of them and we can film them holding it up. We can get them to write down whatever; what they think life is, beauty is, what is real, what dreams are, what they are labelled, whatever you want!Just an idea APR 2ND, 9:31AMMarleenahey just finished reading your ideas! looking good so far i think right now though the ideas as they are dont really link to responsibility clearly or are resolved enoughim looking at some of the stuff u written and trying to think of ways to push them furtheri think the idea of taking something that is meant to shed light on the negative parts of being human, and flipping it to show positivity is something really interesting relating to responsibilityi think that idea of asking people a personal question, like what life is etc, that u suggested touches on that and has potential reminds me of that artist who let people write on a wall what they want to do before they diesorry if the stuff im saying sounds kinda disjointed or weird, cos i just woke up and im just writing what i think as it goes in my head hahaMarleenaan idea i had about transforming marina's work, is maybe laying out a table of items like she did but including "caring" items instead, like bandaids and spa stuff and chocolates. we can put out a chair and a camera, and people are allowed to use the stuff as long as they sit in the chairMarleenahey about that idea with recording people's smiles, itd be kinda cool to expand it and do it about human's relationship with others, not just smiling but hugging talking and high fiving etc. itd be interesting how it relates to physicality, and itd probs contrast really well with the marina workImmiHey guys! Soz for being a little MIA I was going to have a good look this morning and see if I can workshop some of the ideas we've got too so I'll let ya know :)) awesome job so far teamMarleenano worries ive been supa swamped with stuff too hahaAPR 2ND, 11:22AMImmiok so i was having a look at some of the work in the lecture slides from the documentation and editing week and this work i thought was pretty interesting-- we could have a wall where we get people to collaborate by writing ideas or or drawings on like sticky notes or scrap paper and then organise them on a wall and then the time based aspect could be a sped up video of people writing and adding to the wall? http://monumenttotransformation.org/atlas-of-transformation/html/c/crisis-of-capitalism/crisis-of-capitalism-ayreen-anastas-rene-gabri.htmlCrisis of Capitalism | Ayreen Anastas, René GabriCrisis of Capitalism | Ayreen Anastas, René Gabrimonumenttotransformation.orgImmicould be like a question related to stuff going on in the world and how they would fix it? or invent something? and get people to draw sketches or write ideas?i don't know just thinking :))APR 2ND, 6:19PMMarleenai think thats an interesting take on documentation... like, it relates to the idea of a kinda "communal" documentation?its pretty interesting to create a public forum for documentation, kinda like designated grafitti walls or online forumsImmiYeah nice!APR 2ND, 7:58PMMarleenahi everyone, dunno bout u guys but im still kinda conflicted about this assignment hahai think all the major ideas we came up with so far have been pretty interesting and im having trouble deciding which one i like the mostwhat are your opinions on this assignment?? is there anything u guys r super keen on so far?or anything u rly wanna do?for me, i definitely wanna do something that's hyper creative and outside the box - for this assignment im a little afraid of doing something thats been done or reminds me of a facebook or youtube vid i watchedi think no matter what idea we pick i definitely want to push it to its limits Yeah Marlena in response to your first response I agree, they were all heaps rudimentary ideas that I quickly wrote down before bed and definitely need expansion - they were just an idea to kick us off I like the smile/high 5/hug ideas. I definitely want to do something "fresh" as well so I'm with you on that! No body likes the same old same. I'm still conflicted about the assignment too haha. The only thing is we have to think about the readability of it all - we don't really want to spend money buying items, etc, and we have to think about how we can record it and where we will do it MarleenaThanks for brainstorming so much im definitely also keen on saving money too - doing something performance-y like suggested or just paper and pen like immi's idea seem like practical ideas to keep costs lowYep I like!MarleenaThe idea i suggested about the "caring" items would probs be no good for thatHaha maybe not Good thought butOkay let's keep brainstorming then and maybe decide by Tuesday night?MarleenaHaha yeah lets see how it goesWorse comes to worse we can talk it through with the tutor on wednesdayYeah, I'm sure we will figure it out but!MarleenaI will try make a list of ideas like u did No probs. We could even make a Pinterest board or whatever MarleenaOohh high tech hahaAPR 3RD, 1:09PMOkay so let's decide tonight on something solid so we can each conduct rudimentary experiments tomorrow on our own and document on TumblrMarleenaOk understood Immiyep nice.. i think maybe doing a time lapse or something could be interestingand maybe doing a trial of that? could get audience involved through drawing? I'm happy to do that at college?MarleenaIm looking at that email again and i think that tutor is only talking about her class, not ours, so i doubt when we rick up to class our tutor is going to expect us to have anything prepared (she will probs even send us an email herself)Immiok coolMarleenaBut doing a little experiment for tumblr ourselves actually sounds like a good idea to get us started, practice-led research and suchImmianother random idea hahah could be to record sound? and say have a story where each person hears the previous story and then adds to it?MarleenaThat sounds like a fun experiment to try im down for that Immiawesome! just not sure which artist it would relate to?i guess we could just say we used "so and so" as a starting point and then developed our own idea?MarleenaUr documentation one defsImmiok cooland then could focus on sound/ voice documentationMarleenaThe idea is to deform and experiment anywaysImminice!MarleenaHow bout for our first experiment, immi u can make a voice recording of the beginning of a story, u can send it to me and i will send my bit to ruve So its kinda like chinese whispers hahaImminice!! so just do it ourselves? or with other people?MarleenaAfter ruve we can keep sending it along and in the end we can compile itImmiyep sounds goodMarleenaImmiwill havd to do it later this arvo though once I've finished work hahaMarleenaAll good Immiawesome! nice work teamMarleenaWhat's the concept of this voice thingy? Soz I'll be at work for the next few hours so I won't respond ehahahMarleenaSo basically one person makes a voice recording of the beginning of a story and passes it along, and the next person continues the story with their own recording and passes that along kinda like chinese whispersOkay, how do we get ransoms to do that though? Also I'm keen to try some experiments with people where I live tonight/tomorrowImmiI recon just ask people if they want to be apart of it hahaJust a trialMarleenaWe were just going to start with our group and maybe we can ask our friends to volunteer? HahaImmiAnd we can build on itYeah coolImmiMarleenaWhat kinda live experiments were u thinking of ruve??Another idea - photograph people's shoes, and get them to describe them self in one word. Show the pic to someone else and get them to describe whose shoes they see in one wordOr something like thatI don't knowMarleenaThats kinda interesting its kinda like that saying "if u were in their shoes" APR 3RD, 7:31PMHahah APR 4TH, 10:43AMMarleenaHey guys this is just a compilation of the total ideas we made up so far! Feel free to add it to ur tumbr as documentation I brainstormed some more ideas and such and added them to the list, too responsibility – marina abramovik, rhythm 0 Sit in a busy location with a sign explaining what to do – one of us filming place cameras on campus that people can draw on create an instagram page like ‘humans of UNSW’ where people take selfies and talk about themselves get randoms in the city to write one word and hold it in front of them and we can film them holding it up – the prompt can be: what life is, beauty is, what is real, etc recording people interacting affectionately with their friends/other people – smiles, hugging, high fiving ask a question and get people to write their answers and stick them on us ask them to write one sentence if that was all they had left to say documentation – ayreen anastas & rene gabri, crisis of capitalism have a wall where people collaborate by writing ideas or drawings on sticky notes or scrap paper and then organise them on a wall – time-based aspect would be a sped up video of people writing and adding to the wall – could be a question related to stuff going on in the world and how to fix it, maybe just sketching or writing ideas recording sound – have a story where each person hears a previous story and then adds to it (currently experimenting with this idea since it’s low effort and cost effective) wouldn’t it be sick if we could make a kinda song and beat out of every person’s clip of audio? Haha would definitely be interesting photograph people’s shoes and get them to describe themselves in one word – show the pic to someone else and get them to describe whose shoes they see in one word some of the ideas we have here would definitely relate to both responsibility and documentation artworks – I think both topics just both naturally overlap really well PS: in the above ideas I left out ideas which would be too expensive or unrealistic to carry outMarleenaoh god i just realised the formatting is really wack hahaanyways I JUST HAD AN EXPLOSION OF INSPIRATIONim excited to hear what u guys think of it!! i will type it up. i kinda tried to continue upon what u both already thought of (just uhh typing it up)ImmiAwesome Marleena!! Killing it with the ideas I recon they are all good starting points- we can discuss in class tomorrow and I think next step will be about pushing the ideas so they are more interesting and unexpected and perhaps considering time based and getting creative with how we approach it, so we aren't just creating a 5min film or audioMarleenayeah i definitely agree with interesting and unexpected ImmiImmiWe'll have lots to discuss in class :))Marleenaso uhh here's that exposion of inspiration i was talking about. reading it again, some of the logistics dont make any sense like how the projection is going to work but i will share it here anyway in the spirit of experimentation MarleenaGet a large sheet of blue cellophane and draw a picture of a crying person. Draw exactly the same picture but instead on a sheet of paper of the same size. (In faint pencil instead) Have people draw/write on the sheet of paper what they would do to cheer the crying person up. Record the entire process of people drawing/writing on the paper. Turn the video into a time lapse. Hang the sheet of cellophane in front of a projector. Play the video on the projector, align the pictures of the crying person. Result: get a cool time lapse video of people drawing, be left with awesome looking artworkImmiMarleenaHahahaHey guys, you're both awesome! I have to go to work again now but I'll check this all out later and post something to Tumblr!ImmiNice yeah I've got classes pretty much till 5 now so will check back in laterMarleenaAg ttyl APR 4TH, 9:52PMAlright, so I'm going to update my tumblr with our ideas, I really like what we've got so far!And I'm going to pinterest ideas too. Then tomorrow in class maybe we can discuss with Anna our inability to choose an idea because we like them all hahahAPR 6TH, 1:51PMImmihttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1U8dukQ49_29jkB9ViKhWvooZRMLgVwbAOS3aFafhOuU/edit?usp=sharing hey guys I've made a group doc here which i recon will be easy to post info on and share ideas APR 6TH, 7:17PMMarleenathanks immi! checking it out now ImmiNot much info now haha just added a tiny bit before will some more tomorrow Add what you want and we can start formulating and idea to pursue Cool! Love what you've written so far - I've never used google docs though so I may take a little to get used to it APR 7TH, 12:28PMMarleenahi immi! would u be able to give me edit access for the doc? i sent a request, ty ImmiYeah I'll do it when I'm back at uni APR 8TH, 4:39PMImmihttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1U8dukQ49_29jkB9ViKhWvooZRMLgVwbAOS3aFafhOuU/edit?usp=sharing sox guys had it wrong setting should work now!APR 8TH, 6:40PMCool I'll try to figure it out ImmiAPR 9TH, 9:36PMYeah I'm liking these ideas guys maybe we should do some experiments around these concepts?MarleenaIMMI i just read your comments and i think you're right about just picking something and pushing through with itdoing some experiments around this would be an excellent ideaim thinking of just trying out some basic things on my family haha like instructing them on things, and seeing their reaction when ive told them what theyve done is the artwork lolYeah I like the instructions and the audience creating the artwork through their perspectiveBut I love film too so I'm keen for eitherBut yeah if we pick one then we can each do experiments around that and see what worksMarleenamaybe in one of ur experiments u can try think of a way to incorporate more film elements??im not too sure how to do that cos i dont think im creatively inclined that way but it could be rly cool like... maybe you can play a film with realy different sound from whats actually being played, and have the audience watch it once blindfolded but then reveal the actual footage afterYEAAAAHThat's cool!MarleenahahaAPR 13TH, 6:27PMMarleenahi guys! im just checking in to see how you are all feeling about the assignment i did some stuff and put it in the google doc, and i kinda have a vision for what i think would be goodAPR 14TH, 11:24PMHeya girl, I literally haven't thought any about it this week as I've been so busy, it's due first or second week back? Also I'm keen to try whatever MarleenaHaha no worries due wk 8 first week backLel we should probs get on it then Let's decide on it and run with itMarleenaI was continuing our asmr video idea and writing a script for the instructions and voice - some is in the google doc If u wanna continue that idea, could u look into ways we could get a voice to say the instructions? How to record it, and maybe possibility of having music to it too?I dont think this idea will be too hard to accomplish with the little time we have leftAlso help and ideas on the script would be amazing Sorry if it seems im just pushing watevs i wanna do lol its just an idea if u guys wanna get the thing over and done with lolNo totally cool, we've only got about 12 days so all good I'm keen to look into music and voice recording, I could get my brother to say it? He has a nice audio voice. I can do some recording for experiments and send them through and post on Tumblr?I'll send you through an example here too0:09This was for another assessmentJust a thought hahaMarleenaThats a gr8 idea! Itd be awesome if ur brother could do it thatd be way better than a text to speech robot lmaoId love to see some experiments and stuff 2 on the tunblrIll try get the script done asap too hopefully by early next weekIm a total noob at voice recording and stuff like that so uhh might need to rely on u guys for that lolHaha cool, I'm down! I'm with my family this weekend so I'll record my brother doing some experiments and I'll post to tumblr Any ideas on what you want him to say?I'm going to check the google doc nowMarleenaYeah its all there its kinda unpolished but just what u want with it Have fun with ur family!!!Yeah cool, I like what you've written so far, I think it could be really cool! I'll get my brother to read out the script so far, and I'll play around with some rad sound effects to go with it! Are we still getting the audience to close their eyes?Also I reckon we could even do just the one piece, but have parts slowed down, made faster, toned up or down, with different 'music' or sounds to it to create different emotions?Maybe instead of having three different ones, show how we can create the atmosphere just through exploration with tone, etc?MarleenaThe stuff I've written i intended to just be one piece, its just i wrote different versions and wanted to include in thr doc as documentation the second script is the latest draft. Sorry should have clarified. I rly like the idea of using music and tone to create emotion and atmosphere! Pushes the limits of what audio can be MarleenaI think getting the audience to close their eyes would be good for immersion Oooh i just reread the docYeah rad, all good! Alrighty, so do we want the instructions to go for like 2.5 mins or so with their eyes closed, and then they have 2.5 mins to create the artwork? or do we actually want them to just sit an listen the whole time?hahahaMarleenaYeah those three paragraphs at the end r supposed to be part of the same script Making them sit there for 2.5 mins thinking of the artwork sounds sadistic but totally marina-esque xDI say we do ithahaahah okay!MarleenaItd probs be 3 parts audio 2 parts thinking instead thoHahahaso say we provide them with the artistic tools needed, they sit there eyes closed, then produce the work in the dark still with music/sounds still playing?MarleenaThis is the kinda thing which makes normal think arti d ts are crazy lmaoahahhahahlove it but!so trueMarleenaI reckon including the actual creating if the artwork by the audience would be interesting! We wouldnt even have to have them blindfolded for that bit. Would be rly interesting to see wat they imagined Hand out pieces of paper and set up pencils etcmaybe in keeping with marina's style, we could give them a bunch of mediums to choose from, i.e. giving the audience even more controlyeah definitely not blindfolded, but maybe keep the lights lowish?are we going to blindfold them?that could be funMarleenaI was thinking of blindfolds during the audio instructions but probably not for the creating part yeah agreedMarleenaYay! This is exciting This is gonna be fun hahaYeah I'm keen!what sort of mood are we thinking? because the sound effects will create the mood and toneor are we trying to evoke more than one emotion?MarleenaIm thinking a calming and compelling moodIf we're going to evoke an emotion itd be inspiration?Or enlightenmentalrightyso maybe some intense parts to make them really think, but sort of calming as well?MarleenaYeah! radI'll get to work MarleenaA+Since we're including a creating part, maybe the length of the script we have is enough?Do u reckon u'd be able test that in ur experiment?I just realized the time lmao. Goodnight all! Im off to bedYeah no props haha night!APR 15TH, 9:46AMImmiNice guys!! I will have a read of the script and stuff today Awesome I was checking out some awesome social vids on YouTube last night and they were really inspiring! I'll some the links through and you guys can check em, maybe we can use some of the ideas for experiments or whatever. Also for the actual product, maybe we can include some more personally encouraging words, like starting with, 'you... are amazing... beautiful ..." etc and continue with the script?Just an idea ImmiCool I'll have a read of the script and let you guys know what I think :)) so far seems v v good hahaRadddd I'll have to post the links later on as I'm out and don't have them hahahttp://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Hzgzim5m7oU&vq=mediumThe Power of WordsHarness the power of words to grow your business today: http://tinyurl.com/phokf69 For personal transformation order Andrea Gardner's book 'Change Your Words...youtube.comCheck this out!ImmiI think itd be more interesting to have the audience create the artwork at the same time as the recording so maybe we could do a trial using this script.. I can do it with my brother and have hie draw at the same time and if one of you wants to do the script and have someone draw after? And then we can discuss the implications and results of each?Marleenaok sure i will test out having someone draw the thingo afterwards ImmiAwesome :))APR 15TH, 6:29PMyeah great idea, that can be one of our experiments I'm getting my brother to record it tonight so once it'd done I'll send it through and start playing with sound effects )ImmiQuestion, do either of you play an instrument?also I've added the youtube vids to google doc if you wanna check them out Marleenaunfortunately i dont haha all good, was just wondering for the soundtrack alright, here is my first edit!Play-5:01Unmutelet me know what you do/don't likeI added a few words to your script Marleenahope that's okay!APR 16TH, 10:13AMImmiokki so just did this with my brother and feedback is: that if we are drawing at the same time as the audio then it should be a littler more instructional.. not telling you what to do explicitly but perhaps having some words like "draw" or "translate this thought to the page" so that the audience knows to communicate the image they have in their head on the page. However, also good to draw after so having say 1-2 minutes of straight talking about imagining different things and then 1-2 mins after to drawMarleenai listened to the audio and i think the words u added helped out the script a lot ruve enhanced it moreso i just tested out the audio and i definitely agree, the way it is designed now is best suited to having the drawing/creating component after the audioi think if we want to create a more "immersive" and ASMR-like experience, keep the drawing and audio separateMarleenai really enjoyed the music of the audio, i think it fits the tone of the piece well my only thoughts are to add longer pauses between certain lines (like the one which says "i'll give u a minute" - this will help with immersion and give the audience space to think) and also refining the script more (tho i think it's pretty alright now)Marleenaother than that, only the final details are left. for the drawing/creating component, we can hand out A4 pieces of paper and any other materials to let people use (im sure the class will have stuff they can use to draw lmao) and for the audio part, i was thinking of just tearing up old rags and such for blindfolds we could probably also get bedsheets to block out the window light as well, if u guys wanted ImmiI agree with the audience closing their eyes but it might be enough for them to just close their eyes? As then they have to conscious of not seeing and focusing on imaging? Also it could be good to leave the drawing up to the audience where they either draw during or after?Like if they have an idea they can jot it down but then have time after to drawAPR 16TH, 12:36PMMarleenai agree blindfolds might not be necessary, i just thought it might be good for immersion if its completely dark for them (and if their eyes open up a little bit, they still cant see) - i think for the sake of being immersed in the audio, it would better to have drawing afterwards so they can concentrate on thinking of what they will drawMarleenaim a bit worried if we leave it up to the audience they will chit chat during the audio lolAPR 16TH, 6:26PMImmiTrue pointAPR 16TH, 10:55PMRad! Glad you guys like it yeah I definitely think I need to make some pauses longer, my brother said it pretty quickly. So you think the songs good to keep then? Yeah I reckon just to really immerse the audience we should blindfold them, and get them to draw once the voice says "open". The music will still be playing and I reckon keep it dark to keep the mood. Do you want to add anything else to the script? Also I reckon we should provide the art materials so we can point to that being the "responsibility" of us as the artist's APR 17TH, 9:45AMImmiYeah and I think discuss, in linking to marinas work, responsibility in terms of the 'creator' and whether the artist has to be the creator or whether the audience can be the creator etcYeah APR 17TH, 11:24AMMarleenaok, i will look over the script thing again soon - u guys can go over it again and add what u want as well umm im not really too sure what to add and i guess adding too much might be bad for time limit reasonsglad things are coming along!! feeling less stressed already lolOkay no props, I'll work on it later today all good! don't stressAPR 18TH, 9:52AMMarleenai just checked over the script again added a few things here and there! looking good guysTUE 8:34PMOkay cool, let's have it finalised by tomorrow night then? And I'll get my brother to say it again Marleenasure thing! im fine with it if everyones ok with this deadline ImmiYep cool! I'll have a look in the morn sorry I've been trying to get a science report done ahh haha tomorrow night is good though WED 9:16AMImmiokki cool i re-listened to the audio and left a couple of comments on the google doc in regards to specific parts. If you guys want to have a look and then we can workshop the ideas into the final piece? :)) keen to do it in class and see what results we get hahaMarleenahullo ur up early!! hahai just checked ur comments and took ur advice into account and removed+added things i think its pretty much done!! i think its pretty interesting how u felt super relaxed and didnt feel like making art afterwards listening to it am also keen to see what everyone else things - for me, its more like it inspires me rather than gives me great ideas etcWED 1:38PMImmiNice ! Yeah I think everyone will respond to it differently which is cool THU 1:11AMRad! I'll send the script again to my bro and then put together the piece, did you want me to keep the same musical soundtrack? Anything else you want me to add to it? We could even get the audience to just simply write one word about it or whatever as well THU 8:25AMMarleenaI think the same music is gr8, the only thing i rly wanna add is dramatic pauses xDFRI 12:04AMYeah great, I'll do it!FRI 9:37AMMarleenaso about the drawing bit, did any of youse have a4 paper and other drawing supplies at home that you could bring in for next wednesday?ImmiI've got A4 cartridge paperI've got pencils and heaps of mediums they can useAlso, what are we as the artist's going to do during this process?Are we going to do it too, or sit there as an object, watch and take notes, what?FRI 12:53PMImmimaybe we could also do it?then there isn't an 'us' and 'them' its just everyone responding to the audio?Marleenai think we might need to explain things a bit (like telling everyone to remain seated in the beginning and relax, and afterwards explaining we're going to give them to tools to draw what they want afterwards) because the audio isn't extremely explicit about thisso we might not be able to participate because we need to keep things running hahaImmitrueMarleenajust trying to think of the logistics because our class is pretty chatty/distracted sometimesImmior we could explain at the start everything and then the audio goes and once its finished we just have time to draw?haha true marleenaMarleenahahahayeah thats a good ideagive a little explanation at the beginning, prepare the art stuff, and then we can all participate togetherImminice :)) and then if we have to just stop and explain thats fine toowe won't really know how its going to pan out until we've done it any way! so will just have to see eee!Marleenayeah no worries at allid appreciate if u guys could bring in the art stuff you have, i will too, i dont thing we'll need much paper just one sheet for everyone (like 20-30pcs), will only need pencils and other basic stuff as well, not to mention everyone in class probs has their own stuff tooImmiyeah for sure! i don't have a whole heap of stuff just cos I'm at not living at home but I've got some acrylic paint that i could bring ? and ill bring what ever i can find :))FRI 6:12PMMarleenanice! thanks FRI 9:04PMYeah man I have heaps I'll bring it all! What if I get my brother to say all of that, so we don't have to even talk at all? That could be kind of cool - like we remove ourselves so that we become part of the artwork, instead of having to explain ourselves? And then we can participate too?MarleenaYou know, that could work! We'd have to figure out the timing etc but itd be awesome!! Okay, I'll tweak the script a bit and get it done!FRI 10:51PMMarleenathanks i will also tweak a little to help, if its not too lateYeah go ahead! I'll get him to do it tomorrowSAT 1:22AMImmiNice!!I'm happy to record stuff too if you need but otherwise it's looking v goodSAT 2:52AMSure, if you like just for continuity though do you think we should have just one voice? We could both record people tomorrow and compare the sound before I edit it if you like? SAT 8:14AMImmiHmm true, maybe it would work better with just one person? I guess depends if we want the instructions and audio to be connected or separate, what do you guys think?Marleenai think connected would be less jarring ImmiYeah true, ok in that case ruve are you ok in recording both parts?Marleenait should be ok, i just checked the script again and added in more instruction-type phrases and there's not much extra ImmiOk cool :))Marleenaso i read the script a dozen times lol, i was thinking instead of adding in the script "please use the materials at hand to create your artwork", we could have a slide on the projector instead say it? so that it kinda doesnt break the narrator's character as "our conscience"so that when everyone opens their eyes, they see the instructions on the projector to begin creating their artwork etcImmiYeah that could be good! We would just have to make sure that everyone stays on task I guess cos it could be easy for people to just stop thinking once the audio is over?Or we just have in the introduction that after the audio we will be drawingAnd then have the slide up? So that the audience is already thinking about creating a work from the audio and then once the audio is over they can go straight into it?Marleenai tried adding that bit to the audio but i think it breaks the atmosphere and also "ruins the surprise"cos i was thinking of our intentions and it might be better to have an authentic "first impression" by the audience?ImmiYeah trueMarleenaits kinda like, the intrigue plus if they knew theyd have to draw stuff, it might spoil the effect of the audioImmiYeah nice and then I guess linking to responsibility too and that they don't know before hand they are drawingMarleenayeah!ImmiYep I agree, will take away from the meditative aspectOk cool maybe we have the slideMarleenaalso about staying on task, the music will still be going during the drawing, and they're not drawing for too long, so it shouldnt get too crazyuhh hopefully LOLImmiHahaMarleenacos audio is what, 2 or 3 minsImmiYeah about thatI think 2 mins plus Intro?Marleenayeah i reckon it will be ok ImmiMaybe we can record the audio at the end of ruves brother saying the bit about drawing and then we can cut it out later if it interferes too muchBut at least we then have the option Marleenagood idea, doesnt hurt to try it outnice!! glad everything's coming along!! SAT 10:49AMYep cool, I'll get him to say it all then I'll do two recordings (we can use one for an experiment for Tumblr). If we have a slide, do you think the light of it will be too distracting? Or maybe we could have a really dark slide, almost like an artwork in itself, and have the words almost hidden there so they have to concentrate on reading it? Also, if we place paper in front of them they'll know they have to draw, so for an element of surprise we could perhaps place maybe a box with things in it secretly when they are listening (but then we can't listen) or we could just put the materials out front and let them choose? But that could take too longThoughts?MarleenaWhile their eyes r closed and theyre listening to the recording, we can just put on the slide and set up the art things we can make the slide have a black background with white textI think the light will be ok like that - also btw i dont think i will end up making blindfolds because it doesn't seem too necessaryI think it will be fine just asking them to close their eyes - simplicity is bestIts a shame if we do it this way we wont be able to participate, but it sounds like it will run most smoothly if we handle the behind the scenesIm not too sure wat u mean about placing a box with things in it, putting all the stuff out front sounds good and simple and i dont actually think it will take too longIm worried having the text be too unreadable will take focus away from the limited time they have to draw Yeah no not so unreadable they can't read it, just dark enough so the light isn't too much, but yeah a black background what I mean by a box is just having all the same materials placed inside maybe a box, one for each table, so they don't have to get up which should take less time?I know, what if we do the audio after we finish making it before class, and include it in our final product and compare ours as the artist's with the audience?That way we still get to do it and it could be more of a comparison?MarleenaThat would be pretty interesting do u mean doing it alone or meeting up?I think its a little l8 to meet up but i can try it out defsImmiYeah we could do it separately or before class if there's time?No we wouldn't have to meet up, I mean each of us do it respectively at home ImmiOk yeahMarleenaYeah defs!ImmiAnd we could also compare doing it by yourself vs with other peopleJust so it adds another element to it?Yeah!ExperimentsLolMarleenaI think the box idea for each table is gr8, you dont even have to get a box u can just evenly spread it out on each tableSo we could bring ours in and maybe even display them nicely whilst everyone has eyes closed? But maybe have them flipped so they can't see them until we reveal them at the end after they've drawn something?Yep okay cool MarleenaHahaha i like thatAlso, we don't want them to talk or look at each other's work right?What can we do to stop them doing this?MarleenaSlap their wrists with a rulerAlso don't forget the lights can't turn off, so are we blocking out the windows?Hahahah Hahahah#marinaMarleenaHahaAlso is there anything else that needs to be added to the script before I record?MarleenaWe could block them out, only thing wed need is sheets white is ok but still lets light in, black would be betterIts not entirely necessary but might be coolAlso ye done with the script, the blue writing is the instruction bits I think having the calming music playing moderately loud will make them not talk as much - should keep them in the moment for 2-3 minsSo maybe in the audio u could raise the volume of the music just a little during the creating phase? We could include on the slide that they shouldnt talk etc but i think that's the extent of our power Yeah great idea I can do that Okay I'm not sure I have any black sheets but let's see what we can findAnd good idea having the instructions in blue!I'm keenMarleenaBlue font! Good idea No stress, the sheets arent entirely necessaryRadMarleenaOH i thought u meant have the instructions in blue font xDLike on the slideHahah that's okay, what colour do you want them?MarleenaAhh it doesnt really matter as long as the background is black - i was thinking dark grey, white or calm blueYep coolSAT 9:42PMOkay so they are going to have about 40 seconds to get down their ideas lolBut that could be coolSAT 10:46PMOkay! I've done the edit, I'll send it through once it's uploaded and you can see what you think Also we should definitely give it a title Should we make note of the fact they don't have long and say that it was for a specific purpose?MarleenaSounds good! Good for reflectionAlso once I send it through, do you reckon we should get 3 people each to do it, and then we can compile these pieces together, maybe make a collage to post on Tumblr, and can display them on Wednesday as well?Just to add even more depth?https://www.youtube.com/uploadYouTubeShare your videos with friends, family, and the world.accounts.google.comhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNIUppJHQTYRUMINATION (audio artwork)This audio piece was a collaboration with two other art students. We have created an audio set of 'guidelines' in the contemplative stage, or the conceptual ...youtube.comsoz ignore the first one!I've called it Rumination for my youtube account, but if you don't like that we can change it! let me know what you guys think of it and if you want something changedAlso we can't forget to write our 300 words SUN 1:52AMImmi awesome! And thankyouu Haha would have likely forgotten about thatSUN 9:23AMMarleenaomg not gonna lie i completely forgot that as wellalso i think testing the audio out on ppl and displaying them is a nifty idea not entirely necessary tho so dont have to stress about itMarleenaso just listened to the audio... having a mixture of putting the instructions on the screen and having ur brother read them out worked surprisingly well! that was a good touch. i think we can actually afford to cut out some of the audio to make more time for the creating process at the endMarleenahmm ohh actually, i think a minute is alright, i just went over the audio againi went to the google doc and i underlined the chunk we could cut out if we wanted to extend the creating time, lemme know what u guys think im pretty happy with what we have so far btw, i think we did a gr8 jobSUN 9:58PMCool! I think I actually don't mind the monologue taking up most of the time, because for me personally, I see the work as something that stimulates the conceptual stage rather than focus on the production of a piece, so I reckon a minute is okay. But I can edit it again if you both like if we had a little extra time at the end we could possibly gather the pieces and display them out the front, but that may take too long anyway. Also, shall we all just write 100 words each about the project? Say we allocate a dot point each? Or would you prefer to do it a different way?Marleena100 words each sounds good Immiyeah i agree i think the drawing doesn't need to be too long as it is mostly about creating an image mentallyMarleenaYeah, im ok with not cutting much out tooImmiand yep 100 words sounds goodAlrighty, leave it as is then? Okay great, let's look at the rubric then decide what we shall each write?Also, do you mind if I post the vid to Facebook? I wanted people to do it and send me pics of their work, just to see what they created MarleenaLol no worries at all go ahead!Rad!I'm just looking up the assessment now Immiyes for sure!MarleenaYeah same Ahh sweetImmiim going to bed now cos I've got my stats exam tomorrow :// so will be able to do my 100 words tomorrow afternoon/ evening after the exmaMarleenaNo worries, good luck with ur exam Immiahhh thanks! hahaAll good! Good luck!!I think I need to make the music a bit louder during the drawing process?Just listened to itMON 8:35AMMarleenathat sounds like a good idea considering we're going to be playing it in a large room, which might make the music sound even softerso i checked what the 300 word statement has to be about, and it basically needs to include: the original artwork chosen, the relevant weekly topic, and the process of productionso yeah! we can just pick a subject each, and write 100 words on that if u guys dont mind, i will get started on "the original artwork"Yep cool! Immi want me to do the process of production so I can talk about the editing process?ImmiAwesome so I'll do weekly topic and how it links to responsibility?Marleenayup. woohoo! ImmiMarleenaso i just put mine in the end of our google doc for convenience MON 12:14PMImmiMON 7:25PMAwesome! Let's all put them there and then collate it so we can put it on our tumblrs MON 10:24PMHey girls! I've done my piece too, so I'm just editing them all together now, I hope that's okay how'd you go today Immi?ImmiGood exams all done and I've put up my 100 words to the docWill do the audio tomorrow and drawing etc tooI'm happy to edit them if you want ruve! You've done heaps of work already :))Awesome! Yeah I know, I'm stitching the three together It's okay I'm almost done! I'll post it and then you can change it if you like ImmiOkki cool :)) awesomeOh yes I'll do the audio tonight too! Though it's hard with us because we already know what to expectOk it's up so you can check and change if you like Chat Conversation EndSeen by everyone Type a message, @name...

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certifiedmoth · 6 years

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Tell Me Your Troubles

Duncan Shepherd x Reader

Summary: Y/N and Duncan’s ‘relationship’ takes a hit after reader finds out something shocking about him.

Notes: This is my first attempt at a fic, so bear with me, y’all!! I was thinkin’ about Duncan the other day and this is what came out of that, enjoy!, the POV switches throughout, just an fyi :-)))

Warnings: Angst!!, smut, oral (male receiving), unprotected sex, daddy!kink, hints of cheating, fluff sprinkled throughout

Word Count: 5.7K

Credit to @codylangdon for their lovely gif

You had been dating Duncan for a while, neither of you putting a label on it or saying you were exclusive. However, things were shifting that way as you were spending more and more time with him, staying over at his apartment all the time (practically living there), cooking meals together, him taking you on sweet dates and overall loving each other’s company. Neither of you really enjoyed talking about your feelings, yet it was an unspoken thing that you both took whatever it was between the two of you seriously.

You had a particularly exhausting day at work and gave Duncan a call just wanting to curl up with your favorite brunette and forget about the day. He explained to you that he had plans to go out with his friends, but that you were welcome to stay over and that he wouldn’t be out too late. You couldn’t be mad that he already had plans. He was a busy guy after all.

You got to his apartment shortly after, picking up takeout on the way. You used the key he gave you to open his heavy door and was greeted by silence. He had already left and the absence of him being there suddenly weighed on you as you told yourself to stop overreacting. You had only been “dating” him a couple of months and neither of you had really confessed your true feelings for the other, so you tried to quiet that voice in you whenever you got too head over heels for the boy. Having struggled with love and been hurt in the past, you were more than happy to take things slow. Opening yourself up to someone and inviting them in only for you to get your heart broken was something you told yourself you wouldn’t let happen again. So, at the slightest hint of betrayal or indifference from the other person, you would instantly lock your heart up and push them away.

Sitting down at his table, you started to eat the pad thai you brought over. Before long, you were lounging on his couch watching some documentary that barely held your attention. Looking at the clock it said 10:37pm and you were getting more and more tired, so you decided to get ready for bed, already missing the cute brunette with the piercing blue eyes that always made your heart do flips. You found the extra pair of pajamas he always keeps for you in his drawer and slipped them on. You were feeling particularly needy however, so you ransacked his closet for one of his comfy shirts you could wear. He loved it when you wore his clothes. Always saying how sexy you looked with one of his shirts draped over you, hanging off of your body. Getting in his big, comfortable bed, you layed there for quite some time just staring up at the ceiling. Lost in your own thoughts about the day’s activities, you turned on your side to look at his alarm clock which now read 11:24pm. You sighed and got out of the bed, feeling how small and alone the empty bed made you feel.

The living room couch would have to do. It was pretty comfortable, all things considered. However, it wasn’t exactly what you had in mind for tonight. Your thoughts of sleep were cast away, accepting that you wanted to stay up to see cute brunette. You played games on your phone. You read through some of his magazines. You flipped through the tv. Nothing really catching your attention, you layed down on the couch and got lost in your thoughts again.

You were thinking about something your coworker had said that day when you heard the door unlock and Duncan stumble inside. You glanced at the clock that now read 1:31am, quickly frowning, but abandoning any resentment you had once settling your eyes on the cute, drunk man in front of you. He smiled at you as you walked over to him and quickly wrapped his arms around you, holding you for a bit longer than he normally would have. ‘Sorry I’m late” he mumbled into your hair. And that was when you smelled it. A very distinct sweet and floral scent that lingered on him. Somebody else’s perfume. Still encased in his arms, you furrowed your brows and slowly backed your head away to get a good look at him. Your mind was thinking of every possible reason he could have smelt that way. You decided not to think much of it, looking up at him smiling and letting go of his waist. He ran his hands through his hair, ‘You really didn’t have to stay up, you should have went to sleep.’ You could hear from his voice just how drunk he actually was, but also how he tried to hide it from you and you just chuckled at him.

‘I couldn’t sleep anyways’, he pouted like a child at your words, earning a real laugh from you. And that’s when you saw it. The lipstick mark on his neck. How did you miss it before? The pink mark sitting on his skin, taunting you. You quickly turned around, not wanting to reveal that you had seen it or any emotion you were actually feeling.

‘I’m going to go to bed now, it’s been a long day,’ you grimaced. Him so obliviously unaware shouted back at you, ‘Kay! Be there soon.’ Minutes pass and you’re lying on your side in his cold bed, silently freaking out. Too many thoughts were going through your head and you scolded yourself for getting involved with this man who had a reputation. You were starting to catch feelings, deep feelings, and it hurt you to know that he clearly didn’t feel the same way, if he was hooking up with other people. And when he said he was with the boys, was he lying? You were ripped from your thoughts as he fell on the bed rather violently and you felt the space behind you on the bed dip. He wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his nose into the crevice in your neck and sighed with pleasure. You lay there paralyzed, unable to move.

Duncan’s POV

I woke up, a slight throbbing in my head. Groaning, I turned around expecting to see her beautiful face, but she wasn’t there. I lifted my head from the pillow, looking around, displeased with the silence. Maybe she was in the bathroom? Or in the kitchen, making breakfast? I thought, ‘that must be it.’ Getting out of bed, I made my way to the kitchen searching for my elusive girl, who so cheekily thought she could leave me alone in this huge bed all by myself. I was prepared to see her enjoying a cup of tea, as she sometimes did in the morning, but instead I was greeted by more silence and an empty apartment.

‘Y/N?’ I shouted. No reply.

Walking back to the bedroom, I grabbed my phone that was still in the pocket of my pants from the night before, lazily thrown to the ground. Some messages and emails from work, but nothing from my girl. I quickly dialed her number, but nothing. Deciding on text afterwards, I messaged ‘Where are you?’ I told myself to calm down and that maybe something came up and she had to leave early. She’s never done this before though and wouldn’t she have left a note? I made my way back to the kitchen, making coffee to try and calm my nerves as I waited for her reply.

Y/N’s POV

8:16am Duncan: Where are you?

You had seen that he tried to call, but you ignored your phone, not knowing what to say if put on the spot. You had never left his place before he woke up, it just wasn’t something you guys did. You waited to reply to his message, wanting to find the right words that wouldn’t create too much suspicion. You, at this point, since your discovery last night, were in the process of trying to shut down your feelings for Duncan. You were not going to be hurt by this man, you decided on that. You wouldn’t give him the chance to fully break your heart. If he wanted to play games, so could you. Deciding from this point on, to be more distant and keep things casual, as a way to not get hurt, you opened your phone to reply to him.

Looking at your screen and his message, you replied, ‘I woke up early and missed my bed, so I left. Plus, I had an early start at work today, lots to do. Sorry!’ Just enough cold and distance in the message to maybe hurt him a bit, if he even cared that was. But, I thought the message was casual enough that he wouldn’t have a reason to argue about it.

He immediately replied and you stared at your phone, ‘I could have set an alarm, if you had to get up early. But, alright… I get it, I guess. Have a great day at work, doll.’ Doll was his nickname for me. I adored it, but also desperately wanted to hear the words ‘baby’ or ‘my love’ come out of his mouth at least once, but we just weren’t there yet. And now, I guess we never would be if we were playing these games with one another.

A day goes by and they don’t talk which isn’t unusual, considering how busy they both are and the status or their “relationship”. Neither of them think much about it, both of them drowning in work. The next day he calls her on his lunchbreak and she answers which he’s grateful for.

‘Ms. Y/L/N.’

‘Why hello there, Mr. Shepherd,’ she replies and he is reminded of how lovely her voice is.

‘So, I’m sitting here in my office and my assistant brings me some cacio e pepe from that little Italian place we went to a couple of weeks ago and I just had to give you a ring and hear your voice,’ he charmingly smiles into the phone.

Her heart flutters at his words, but she remembers the other night and needs to play it cool and not give into his charm. ‘Wow Duncan, thrilling story… You should totally write a book. It’d be a real page turner.’ And she can hear him laughing as she continues, ‘You know, I had pizza yesterday. Do you think I should have called my dad because we occasionally eat pizza together, too?” she smiles, satisfied with her sass.

Chuckling, he says, ‘Alright, alright. Are you always this much of a pain in the ass with everyone? Or is it just with me?’

‘Only with those who can handle it. Don’t tell me you’re losing your touch,’ she quips back.

‘Never. I can handle anything you throw at me.’ His heart feels full at the conversation he’s having with the girl of his dreams.

She frowns, takes a while to respond and when she does it’s a simple ‘mhmmm.’

He waits, thinking she’ll say more but when she doesn’t and the air becomes a bit awkward, he chimes in, ‘I’m sorry about coming home so late last night. Can I see you? Are you free anytime soon?’

She ignores the first part, ‘Yeah, I’m free Friday night. I can come over and hangout, if you’d like?’

‘Damn,’ he sighs, instantly hating himself. ‘I have an event that night-‘

‘I don’t mind dressing up,’ she giggles, heart racing at the thought of them going together.

‘Actually, and I’m so sorry about this, but I have to go with the daughter of this senator Annette is trying to get close to. I don’t really have a say in the matter.’

‘Oh no no, don’t worry about it. I totally get it. Have fun.’ She plays it off as being no big deal, but in reality is feeling crushed and a little humiliated by how excited she let herself sound.

‘I’m sorry, I would take you if I could...’

She thinks it’s just something for him to say, to make the conversation less awkward.

‘Hey don’t worry about it, you can go with whoever you want, I don’t really care,’ she laughs it off and he can sense the irritation in her voice.

‘Y/N, I promise it’s not like that,’ his voice is soft.

She tries to cover up her true feelings, ‘No! I didn’t mean it like that, the whole gala thing is okay, honestly, it’s cool,’ she forces her voice to sound carefree.

They decide on spending Saturday night together at his place and she rolls her eyes at the stupidity of the conversation after she hangs up.

I pull up to his place and take a deep breath, composing my thoughts, before I knock on his door. I hear footsteps and he opens the door with a wide grin. I hold up the bottle of wine I brought over with a smile plastered on my face, ignoring how his arms were open and clearly expecting me to step into his arms for a hug. I waltz in as he tries to give me a kiss, instead walking past and placing the bottle on the counter. He exclaims a loud ‘Hey!’ and I turn around with wide eyes.

‘What? Do you not like this brand?’ I laugh.

‘I wanted a kiss, c’mere,’ he pulls you into his arms.

‘Oh sorry,’ I chuckle and he leans down with his arms around my waist as I quickly peck his lips. He frowns but lets it go as I turn around already inspecting the food he’s prepared for us.

‘Are you finally going to poison me tonight?’ I ask, the corners of my mouth raising.

‘Ha ha, very funny. If I wanted to poison you, you would never know about it until it was too late and I also would definitely never actually admit to it,’ he smirked earning a laugh from you.

They sit down together, enjoying the meal in front of them. They talk about normal stuff, how their day was, what’s going on at work, briefly about the gala from the night before. Turns out it was “uneventful” and his date was “boring”, but your heart still clenched in your chest not knowing if you should believe what the man next to you was telling you. You both continue with your conversation, going over Duncan’s work week, when he reaches over and grabs your hand, pulling it into his own as he starts to rub circles on your skin with his thumb. You try to take no notice of it and instead of immediately yanking it back from him, you leave it there for a couple of seconds before reaching up to move a strand of hair from your face, just an excuse to not have your hand intertwined with his. The affection and sweet gesture was a slap in the face when you thought about the lipstick mark. Lately, it was all you could think of and you were upset with yourself for letting it drive you as crazy as it did. You so desperately wanted to be the cool and un-feeling type when it came to Duncan now, not giving him the chance to hurt you, but it still stung every time he tried to show affection. You felt that he must think you were a fool to easily fall for his charm and give him exactly what he wanted. But, you weren’t going to do that anymore. This was the new and improved Y/N, who didn’t fall head over heels for the guy, who wouldn’t let them use her heart. He frowned, however, at the loss of warmth in his hand. Holding her hand was one of his favorite things. He loved how soft she was, and how tiny her hand felt in his. He decided to not dwell on how she pulled her hand a little too fast from his, thinking that she was maybe just having an off night. Her week at work did sound wild after all, so maybe she was just preoccupied with the stress of that.

After putting the dishes in the sink, I walk over to the couch that Duncan has just plopped onto. His feet are up on the coffee table and his left arm stretched out on the top of the sofa, clearly an invitation for me to snuggle up to him. I try to pay no attention to this as he’s flipping through channels. I sit a couple of feet away from him and he looks over at me, offended but makes a joke about it, ‘I swear, I’m not contagious, you little brat,’ he throws a pillow at you, still pretending to be fake hurt by your actions, when in reality his heart felt a sharp pain at your distance.

‘What! I just need to digest my food,’ I play it off, laughing and catching the pillow thrown at me, hugging it to my chest. He scoots over and puts his arm around me, then. I love the warmth, but try not to show it.

He loves being this close to her, but she’s stiff as a board and it breaks his heart. He wonders if he’s done something wrong or maybe she’s not as serious about their relationship as he is. What if she doesn’t have the same feelings for him as he has for her? He thinks about the possibility of that and he feels that sharp pain in his heart again.

They lay there like that for what seems like a long time to both of them, just losing themselves in whatever nonsense is playing on the screen, when he leans down and starts kissing her neck as slowly as he can. He’s missed the way her skin feels on his lips and he is savoring every second of it. He continues on and she is completely melting from his affection but is doing everything she can to not show it. He doesn’t notice at first how unaffected she appears to be, having been so lost in the beauty and feel of her, until he stops and notices how still she is. No hand in his hair, no whimpers coming from her mouth, her eyes that would usually be closed in pleasure are intensely focused on the screen in front of her. Just as he’s about to ask if she’s okay, she turns to him and smiles. And every concern he has melts away as he’s met with her beauty. She, then, yanks his hand and pulls him down the hall hastily. He isn’t happy that she’s rushing, but is happy to finally have his hand in hers as she whisks him away to the bedroom.

She’s pulling her clothes off too fast for his liking. He wanted to savor this, but she seems to want to go fast. He’s just happy that he’s finally getting some affection from her, his sweet girl. Once their clothes are long forgotten, she pushes him onto the bed and he smirks up at her. He’s usually the one taking charge, but this is a different side of her that he doesn’t get to see often. Something seems off, though, and he can’t quite put his finger on it. Before he knows it, her pretty little mouth is around his cock. He’s lost in the pleasure of how soft her lips are and how good she always makes him feel.

Minutes pass of this and she is insatiable, it appears. ‘Fuck, Y/N. Slow down.’

She continues, ignoring his words.

‘Y/N,’ he says a bit more sternly, but accompanied with a soft groan from the back of his throat, she doesn’t let up. He grabs onto her hair and yanks her head back, smiling and looking into her wild eyes.

‘Doll, what are you trying to do to me?’ he chuckles.

She hums at his words and makes her way up to his chest, sitting on him, legs on either side of his waist. She can feel him pulsing underneath her and she grinds down on him, both of them groaning at the pleasure. He sits up to try and take her mouth in his, wanting nothing more than to feel her soft lips on his, but she just pushes him down again and she swears she hears him growl. His grip on her hips almost hurts and she can tell how badly he wants her. After all, isn’t this why he puts up with her? He just wants her for sex, right? Her irrational thoughts telling her that he’s just here to have a good time. Well, she can give him that. She takes his cock in her hand and she feels it twitch with anticipation. She lines it up with her entrance and slowly lowers herself onto him. His head is thrown back at the feeling and she thinks for a second that she’s looking at an angel. She snaps herself from her thoughts and starts to ride him. Slowly at first and then picking up her rhythm. With her hands on his chest and her eyes screwed shut in pleasure, he swears he’s in love. She’s going fast and he loves it, god, does he love it, but, he wanted to take his time with her tonight.

‘Y/N, look at me, darling,’ her eyes open wide at the new nickname, and she all but stops. He sits up and reaches for her face with one hand, closing the distance between their faces. The kiss is slow and passionate and both of them melt, Y/N weakly giving in just for a moment, unable to remove herself from this angelic man.

‘May I?’ he asks and her face twists in confusion. He quickly flips them both over, so that he’s resting on top of her. He could never get tired of seeing his girl so blissfully fucked out underneath him. He makes sure to take his time and kiss just about every inch of her body. He’s working on her neck, knowing it’s her sweet spot, when she whimpers his name.

‘Duncan, please. Stop playing around, I want you now,’ her voice a sweet whisper.

He raises an eyebrow at her, but does as he’s told, not being able to resist her when she looks like this.

He enters her and is painfully slow about it, she thinks. She’s having difficulty dealing with the painful and intrusive thoughts in her head about Duncan, but also with how good he feels in her. She knows now that she will never be able to give him up, and that makes her want to cry. She knows that she loves this man, but refuses to accept it. How can she when she knows that she’s just a toy for him? She looks anywhere that isn’t directly at him and his heart hurts again, noticing how she won’t look at him. How can she make him feel so fucking amazing, but also break his heart at the same time?

‘Can you flip me around? I want it from behind,’ she tries to pick up the pace.

‘But, I want to look at you,’ he says a little hurt. ‘Please…’ he pleads with her softly, nuzzling his nose into her neck, placing small kisses here and there. She’s insisting though and he just mutters a quick and angry ‘Fine.’

He flips her around, a small scream escaping her lips in the process. He thrusts into her, not giving her anytime to adjust and sets his fast and brutal pace. She can barely hold onto the sheets and hears the headboard slamming against the wall in a dangerous way that was sure to leave marks. She doesn’t even recognize the sounds coming out of her and it only pushes him to go further.

‘Is this what you wanted? My little slut,’ he spits out.

She nearly cries at his harsh words, but it only makes her want him more.

She’s practically screaming his name and he loves the way it sounds. He can feel that she’s close, he knows his girl’s body so well. He slows his pace a bit and reaches around to put an arm around her. He’s thumbing circles around her clit which makes her see stars.

He leans down and growls into her ear, ‘I want you to cum all over my cock, princess.’ He thrusts into her particularly hard, ‘Be good for Daddy.’ He feels her clench around him and she’s a moaning mess. The last thing she says before the coil in her stomach snaps is his name and that’s enough to send him over the edge, too. He releases himself into her and cums more than he thinks he ever has and he waits a second before pulling out of her, watching both of their juices drip out of her. He gazes at the sight in front of him before falling onto his back next to her with an exhausted ‘Fuck.’ The only sounds in the room are them trying to catch their breaths. He looks over at her and her eyes are closed as he leans over and pulls her into him. With her arms wrapped around him and her head resting on his chest, he kisses the top of her head and thanks whatever god is responsible for bringing her into his life. Throughout the night, his concerns with Y/N grew and grew until his heart was too close to breaking. But now, his girl was in his arms and everything was right in the world.

A couple of minutes pass by and she starts to get up, but his grip on her tightens. ‘What are you doing?’ she can hear the strain in his voice.

‘I have an early morning,’ is all she says. Everything around him stops and everything is too still. He’s afraid that his heart finally gave out and those couple of words were all it took to shatter it.

‘But, you always stay over… We can wake up early, it’ll be okay, please just stay…’ she refuses to meet his eyes as she’s getting off the bed and gathering some of her things.

Putting her shirt back on, she mutters a small ‘No, I should g-go.’ He doesn’t understand why she stuttered, but he’s seeing red now. She can’t leave. She can’t just leave him and hurt him like this.

Jumping out of bed, he wraps a small blanket that was nearby around his waist and storms over to Y/N, ‘What is going on?! You’ve been distant all night,’ he grabs onto her shoulders and forces her to sit on the edge of the bed. She doesn’t have any energy to fight back and just lets him, still refusing to look at him, afraid he’ll see the tears starting to form in her eyes. He gets down on his knees in front of her, gripping on to her hips afraid that if he doesn’t he’ll lose her forever. He continues, ‘You’ve been distant and cold all night, you won’t even touch me or look at me, you didn’t kiss me when you came in, you sat like five feet away from me on the couch, you pulled your hand away from me at dinner, a-and you wouldn’t even look me in the eyes when I was making love to you,’ his voice breaks. ‘What’s happening, Y/N, please just talk to me… you’re fucking breaking my heart.’

She suddenly looks up at him when she hears his last confession and her face is one he can’t decipher, although he sees the tears threatening to spill over. ‘The other night, when you came home-‘ she pauses, looking down, ‘I smelled the perfume on you and saw the lipstick mark on your neck,’ she spits the last part out like venom. Looking back up at him, he’s never seen her look so hurt and full of angry before. He, himself, looks like a lost puppy.

‘I can explain.’

‘Were you even out with the guys?! Or was that just some excuse so you could go fuck some girl?’ she seethed, standing up now and pacing around the room. Duncan just sat there, paralyzed by what was happening. ‘I tried to be cool, and thought maybe, even after all these months, you just wanted to be fuck buddies or something, so I tried to give you that. But, I can’t do that. I can’t fucking do that, do you understand?’ Emphasizing her words by throwing her things into her bag, tears staining her cheeks. ‘I will NOT fucking do this… it’s so stupid,’ her voice breaks at the end and she starts sobbing into her hands. He immediately gets up and pulls her into his arms, which she tries to pull out of. He holds her close though and takes her hands away from her face, forcing her to look at him.

‘Please, just hear me out. Please Y/N… It really isn’t what you think,’ his heart aching for this beautiful girl right in front of him, clearly having her heart broken over this. When she didn’t fight him, or say anything and her sobs started to die down, he took that as his cue to continue. ‘I was out with the boys, that is true. It was supposed to be a fun low-key night, until Travis pulled up to a club. I thought there was no harm in staying for a little while and having a drink. One drink turned into several, and the guys were inviting tons of girls around to hang out with us in our section,’ he paused, trying to gauge her reaction, but wasn’t able to determine what she was feeling by the blank stare taking over. ‘There was this crazy drunk girl who would not leave me alone, so yeah, I’m not surprised that you could smell her perfume on me. I tried being polite, I tried ripping her off of me, I tried hiding in a part of the club I was determined she couldn’t find me in, but nothing worked. Tons of people were there, and I was starting to get recognized, so the last thing I wanted to do was create a scene.’ She glanced up at him quickly, but looked at the floor right after. ‘But, she wouldn’t fucking leave me alone and I nearly lost it when she reached up and kissed my neck. I yanked her back probably harder than I should have, but who does that? Fucking invades somebody’s personal space like that? I left, but she followed me, and that was when she grabbed my face and kissed me.’ He stopped talking then, as she looked up at him. He still couldn’t figure out what emotion was playing out on her face. He didn’t know what she was feeling, but it looked almost as if it was sympathy? ‘I called the bouncer over and had her thrown out. Then went over to my friends, sarcastically thanked them for the ‘fun night’ and then left.’

He inched his way closer to her, holding her by her waist and she looked sad. His sad angel, he thought. She should never look this way, him feeling disgusted with himself that he was the cause of this. ‘I was drunk and irritated, but you know the main thing I had on my mind that night? All I kept thinking about was getting home to you and wrapping you up in my arms. Just wanting to be close to you…’ he kissed the top of her head. ‘But the boys kept pressuring me to stay and I was fucking stupid for agreeing to, especially when all I wanted was you.’

Her voice was raw and quiet, ‘I’m sorry that happened to you.’ Clearing her voice and looking into eyes, she spoke strongly, ‘That’s really, really fucked up, Duncan.’

He felt relief that she was no longer angry at him, but also disbelief that she so easily gave him her forgiveness when he felt that he didn’t deserve it for hurting her. His sweet angel. He stared at his love, never wanting to look at anything besides her ever again, ‘I don’t care about what happened that night, I only care about what happens between us. The rejection I felt from you tonight… I can’t handle that. It fucking broke my heart. I don’t know how to deal with this Y/N, I thought we were getting serious and I’m so scared that you’re just going to walk away, a-and I don’t know what to do,’ his voice breaks as he tries to hide the tears falling from his bright blue eyes.

Y/N feels for the beautiful man standing in front of her. She takes his face in her hands and kisses him softly. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she holds him there, and his sobs soften once he’s enveloped in her arms. Holding onto her as if his life depended on it, he hears her voice. ‘Duncan, you’re not going to lose me. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done,’ she pauses. ‘I was just so hurt...’

‘I know,’ he chokes out. ‘I’m so sorry, too. I should have just told you. I was fucking stupid not to. Of course you would eventually find out. You’re too smart to not have noticed anything,’ he laughs, wiping away his tears.

She smiles at him, and plainly says, ‘we’re both stupid, we need to learn how to just talk to one another and then all of this could have been avoided,’ she groaned. He chuckles, burrowing his face into her neck, holding her there in his arms.

‘Y/N, baby…’ her heart leaps at hearing the word come out of his mouth, sounding smooth as silk on the tip of his tongue. ‘Can we please be exclusive now?’

#duncan shepherd #cody fern #duncan shepherd x reader #duncan shepherd imagine #duncan shepherd fic #my writing

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