#it’s like with bunny and how Kenny is the ONLY person butters has NOTHING against!! he RESPECTS Kenny!!

[plugnuts]

I'm kinda curious to know your favorite ship dynamic (or dynamics!!)

Friends to lovers for sure!

As an aroace person myself I need SOME kind of positive dynamic already in place, and if they’re friends it’s just so easy to think of them as something more, y’know? It’s about the slow realisation that the person you’ve been friends with for so long, who’s been with you through thick and thin actually means so much more to you. The realisation that brings down an intense weight upon the one who realises, the thought that if this doesn’t go right then everything could be ruined.

Emotions, feelings, they all get thrown into the balance and that’s everything to me. Especially if they’re just. Normal friends at the start of the story. Then something big happens that throws everything off, feelings are realised, and then everything is Different. That’s where it is AT.

Even in a story where a pair isn’t friends at first! As long as they become friends and build from there it’s great. There just needs to be some kind of positive buildup for it to work.

Spiralling off a bit, but for me to ship a ship they need to have positive interactions. They need to be friends. Need to bounce off each other in a way that’s not malicious. This is why enemies to lovers doesn’t work for me. I’d never be able to understand how people can ship two people who hate/are against each other because there’s just. Nothing positive to build on lol.

[firefly-sky]

I just wanted to say that I dislike shipping too. I wouldn't say I hate it but I am annoyed by how everything in fandoms focuses on it. Not just South Park, but all fandoms. Some ships I otherwise would find cute I end up disliking just because of all the "they care about each other too much to just be friends" comments. As an aro/ace person it really sucks to see people act like you can't fully care about someone unless it's romantic. Some ships like Kyman and Cartters are so uncomfortable because of the horrible things Cartman has done to both Kyle and Butters in the past and how some people try to romanticize things like Cartman literally raping Butters by including it in their compilations of "cute shippy moments". I'm not really sure where I'm going with this as it's becoming more of a rant, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone in not liking shipping.

Yes! Literally this!

God, I couldn’t word it right but this words it exactly; it is so annoying when the only shipping and it can never be anything but. Especially with South Park because it’s just a show that’s so not for primarily ships.

And that’s where I have a problem with Style and Bunny; sometimes it’s just like people can’t be just friends without it turning into something romantic. Like seriously, some people will ship anyone and anything, like ‘oh Cartman is standing next to Scott Malkinson? Make it a ship and write a bunch of fanfic and draw fanart!’ It’s like being friends doesn’t exist and everything has to be shipped. It’s so frustrating and difficult to find people who just wanna talk about the show and stuff and not make it weird and shippy.

And especially with all of the shitty Kyman and Carters shit, like a fucking Holocaust AU. What sick freak thought of that and thought it was cute?! And who the fuck agrees with that and keeps reading that shit?! And Carters is vile. Absolutely putrid-Butters has been through too much to be with someone like Cartman. He deserves better. Plus Cartman is like, a total dick to him and literally tried publicly humiliating butters numerous times and got away with it. And people use AWESOM-O as a way to be like ‘oh he just liked Butters!/ Like Butters literally almost died to save Cartman’s ass and Cartman only did it to take something from Butters. It’s not cute or ship fuel, it was Cartman being a sadistic , lying asshole and Butters being the victim.

Style and Bunny feel only platonic though. Namely because Kenny is the most cishet person in the show (minus cartman) and he really only got into a relationship because he wanted to get laid? And thinking about that kind of pairing with Butters of all kids just doesn’t sit right. Not to say Kenny only seeks out relationships for sex but that would be one of the primary things he would look for as shown in canon in The Ring. And Style kinda just feels mainly platonic. Like I have nothing against LGBTQ people. I really don’t, I’m in the community myself, but sometimes it feels like fandoms-not just this one, can’t let two friends of the same gender be just friends. It always has to be romantic. Which sometimes works, yes; but when it comes to South Park? I can’t see it. Maybe it’s a controversial opinion, but that’s just me and my stance. Again, I have nothing against gay people. I am bisexual myself and have some people who are very close to me who are in the community, I just feel like that’s what happens in most fandoms.

[charliecartters]

you

yes you are the one account I definitely needed <3

Cartters is so underappreciated and underrated and I am glad to see someone else like this ship as much as I do

thank you very much :3, yes it is one of the couples with more scenes and development, it is very strange not to have the fame it deserves, but i know why:

1 - Kyman's shippers pushed Butters with anyone to beat Kyman's competition with Cartters, which resulted in that in my view on the show's canon make no sense, like "bunny", a crack shipp with such fame, "bunny" is the simple result of Kyman's "monoshipping" practice in the past, the majority kyman fandom at the time did not hide it and today they comment that they really did that, but thankfully most of them today are logical and super cool, I know that many like despite everything (the traditional shipp of the "rivals"). But i don't shipp Kyman, because since i saw the ep "ginger cow" i find it super "toxic and sick" and I saw that the relationship was not improving at all, on the contrary it was getting worse, reaching several attempts at mutual murder, they cut off all relationships in the current eps, and in the last movie Kyle literally ends Eric's life to live well at the expense of his disgrace. But I know many cool kyman shippers, and many currently support Cartters too, being multishipper is the solution to all problems <3

2 - People fanfic the characters a lot, and ignore how they really are, and the things the characters do, Bunny shippers totally ignore what Butters really is, and keep the "fanart/fanfic image" of innocent Butters who never does anything wrong and always helps everyone, which is totally wrong with reality, Butters bullied other boys long before he was Cartman's friend, tied Mark to a bench with duct tape because he was a "nerd" and helped spank Kyle because he didn't " follow the fashion", all this nothing related to Cartman, when other boys need help he doesn't care, for example when Stan was having a problem as his grandfather Butters says "I have more to do / that's not my problem", When Kyle get into trouble Butters makes fun of him, "LOL Goes bad Jew", Butters is male chauvinist and despises all the girls, just like he did the move against the girls, but Bunny shipp invent that Butters loves and helps everyone (99% of time Butters is just plain cute and always willing to help only Eric) the funniest thing about this Bunny Ships fanfic is that Kenny goes save him from the clutches of evil Eric, this is really very funny, "Butters is obliged to be with Eric and suffers he doesn't liked to be involved on Eric's crazy plans" ( there are several times when Eric becomes different (becoming a "good boy") and Butters feel sad or feel very angry with Cartman because of this change, Butters always goes out of his way to bring Eric back to normal and later he literally jumps for joy at the return of old Eric. (eps: Oh, Jeez, Stunning and Brave, etc) for being able to participate in your plans again) I wanted to know where I find this alternate version of South Park they watch;

3.This may also be because the many person doesn't watch the show in order and sees random eps, and doesn't see character development, they think Eric and Butters relationship is the same as in Casa Bonita, and in eps like "Let Them Eat Goo" (which are eps that prove the opposite) they pretend to be blind not to leave the little fanfic world; and goes around talking nonsense calling their relationship "toxic and abusive", obviously in South Park everything has its problems like Tweek x Craig has eps showing their relationship problems, Cartters has a big development, where Cartman was just one of boys didn't like Butters, but nowadays they are best friends who trust each othe, in anything, I made a post about it "Cartters is 100% healthy?". (if you want, click on the name to see, or search for the name on tumblr)

4. This is a point for those who are more outside the fandom, but I also see a lot inside the fandom, which is simple fatphobia, A lot of people just hate the shipp because Cartman is fat and "Butters wouldn't be okay with fat boy ", because with a fat character the shipp doesn't look "cute" for them, and they prefer "skinny pretty" couples, this is clearly very sick, we get to see many drawing Cartman in lean versions.

etc

I could stay until tomorrow talking about it but I think it's good for now XD

[allthestripes]

What You Mean To Me - a Valentine’s Bunny fic (for my amazing girlfriend hypochondriac-butters ♡)

It had been a year. A perfect, wonderful, unbelievably amazing year. Everything that could have been good for Kenny had been, and this rising trend didn't seem like it was going to be stopping anytime soon.

Last Valentine's Day, he had asked out Butters, and he had accepted. Kissed him, even. It was like a dream come true.

He looked down at the boy leaning against his shoulder. They were at Butters' house, watching a movie on the couch. His parents had been oddly okay with this and the pair assumed it was because there was no chance Butters could get someone pregnant if they were together. Not that he was complaining. He had to admit, he had been a bit worried when they moved on to fifth grade that Butters would decide he wanted to move on, but that fear had been forgotten when on the first day of class Butters had stood up and announced to everyone he was still very bi, and very much in love with Kenny.

Oh, God, he loved this boy.

Kenny kissed Butters' forehead, making him blind and look up with a small smile.

"What's up, Kenny?" he asked.

"Nothing," he said. "Just thinking about how great you are."

Butters blushed, sitting up. "Well, geez, Ken, I think you're pretty great yourself," he said shyly, rubbing his knuckles together. "I've been thinking about something lately."

"What is it?"

"We've been dating for almost a year now. Valentine's Day is coming up, and I think I want to do something for you this time."

Kenny blinked. "Do something for me?"

"Yeah! So don't you plan on doing anything for me this time. It's my turn to do something cheesy and cute."

He laughed, shaking his head slightly. "Alright, I'll keep that in mind." Of course he wouldn't be able to just do nothing for the other, but if Butters wanted to be the one to make the grand gesture this time, he wouldn't show him up. He'd do something small. He had a bit of money saved up from his odd jobs, maybe he could get him some chocolates or flowers.

"I just hope you'll like it." Butters' tone brought him out of his thoughts. He sounded a bit nervous and unsure. Kenny couldn't let that go on. He took his hand, squeezing it lightly.

"Whatever you have in mind, I'm positive I'm going to love it," he assured gently. "You're probably the most creative person I know, whatever you do will be kickass."

Butters blushed and smiled at the praise, then returned to his previous position laying against Kenny's shoulder. "Thanks, Ken. I do my best."

The time leading up the Valentine's Day was interesting. Kenny's curiosity was growing with each passing day, but Butters was uncharacteristically tight lipped, only giving him a cheeky wink and a small shake of his head whenever he would ask about it or request a hint. It was infuriating in the best way possible.

To distract himself, he invested his energy into making the greatest card he could for him. Last year the card has been a reveal of his feelings in the more romantic way he could think to word it. This time, he was going a slightly different route. He didn't focus on words this time, choosing instead to create a picture to show his feelings for Butters more clearly.

He worked on it in the same art room that had created the other card, feeling it was only right. It had all started here, after all, it only seemed logical that it should be the place he continued expressing his love. At least this year he didn't have to deal with Cartman almost fucking his work up. He had chosen not to take art this time around, claiming the gay was too contagious to be around what with Kenny, Butters, Stan, Kyle, and now Craig and Tweek.

Such a loss. How tragic.

Kenny paused his coloring to look around the room, letting his cramping hand rest a moment. Other kids were working on Valentine's of their own, though some were doing normal projects. It was quiet, the only sound the soft scratch of pencils on paper, and the low rasp of brushes against canvas. It was nice, kind of relaxing in a way.

His eyes wandered around the room, coming to rest, as they always did, on Butters. His boyfriend was across the room, his tongue poking out of his mouth in concentration as he worked on one of his many art pieces. Kenny loved to watch him work, it was one of the rare times Butters was able to really relax and enjoy himself, really let loose and express himself.

From the way his eyes shone with delight to the delicate movements of his hands, Butters was truly an artist. The love and care he put into every aspect of his creations... it was incredible to watch his imagination come to life through whatever medium he was using in the moment. He could lose himself in Butters' art, and he often did.

His thoughts were interrupted by Stan bumping his shoulder.

"Planning something big for Valentines?" he asked, sitting beside him.

"No, actually," Kenny said, reluctantly turning his eyes on his friend. "Leo said he wanted to be the one to do something this time, so I'm working on another card. Whatever he does, I get the feeling it's going to be awesome."

"Damn, I was hoping you could give me some help," Stan said, laying his cheek on the table and closing his eyes. "I want to do something nice for Kyle, but I can't think of anything good or non-cheesy."

"And what's wrong with cheesy?"

"Nothing I guess, I just want him to actually like whatever I do and not want to strangle me."

"Oo, kinky~."

"Shut the hell up, Kenny."

He laughed, shaking his head. "For real though, sometimes cheesy is perfect, especially for a Valentines thing. Just order pizza or something. Oh! Pizza Hut does that special thing on Valentines where they make heart-shaped pizzas and you can get a dessert. I think it's pretty cheap if I remember."

Stan sat up. "That sounds pretty good, actually. I might do that, thanks, dude," he said. "Pizza and video games, I think he'll like that."

"I'm sure he will. Kyle seems like the kind of guy who likes mushy stuff. I get the impression romantic gestures really get to him."

"I guess I'll see." He stood up, stretching his arms over his head. "I'll let you know how it goes, thanks for the suggestion."

"Pay me next time." With a roll of his eyes, Stan headed off, leaving Kenny alone once again.

When Valentine's Day finally arrived, Kenny couldn't help his excitement. For a solid week now Butters had been teasing him daily about the surprise, and he was going insane with curiosity. His attention was gone for the entire day, and as soon as school was out, he and Butters met up outside the school. Butters was grinning, wiggling in place.

"Hey ya, Ken," he greeted cheerfully. "Ready to see what I've been up too?"

"Absolutely," he said, slinging his arm around his shoulders. "Where are we going?"

"Don't worry about that," Butters laughed, nudging his side. "Just close your eyes and follow my lead. And no peeking, mister!"

Kenny weakly protested, but as he always did with Butters, gave in easily. How was he suppose to say no to that adorable face? Answer: he couldn't, so he shut up and pulled his hood tight over his eyes, taking Butters' hand and allowing the other to guide him.

They walked for a while, Butters chattering brightly about the day, Kenny adding small comments on occasion. He was trying to guess where they were going based on where they walked, but it seemed Butters was on to him. They seemed to be retracing their steps a lot and going in circles.

Dammit, he was on to him.

After what seemed like an eternity, Kenny felt the uneven ground of the forest underfoot and he smiled. He still had no idea what they were doing or where they were going, but he knew the reveal was finally coming.

A few minutes into their hike, Butters stopped him. "Ready?" he asked, his voice betraying his nervousness.

"I am. And Leo?"

"Yeah?"

"Relax. It's okay, whatever you've done, I'm positive I'm going to love it."

Butters snorted and laughed, already sounding less stressed. "Okay. You can look."

Kenny tugged open his hood and pulled it down, blinking open his eyes. It took a moment for them to adjust to the sunlight, but once they had, they widened in surprise and he gasped softly. "Leo... this... this is amazing..."

In front of him, the small hidden clearing they had entered had been set up for a camp out. The space was hidden from the trail they had followed, the trees thick around them, though the sky was bright and open above them. A small generator was sitting off to the side, and though it was off at the moment, the small string of paper lamps strung through the trees were visible. In the center was a small fire pit with a stack of wood and a blanket pile, and a short distance from that was a tent.

"Surprise," Butters said, smiling shyly. "Happy Valentine's Day, Kenny. I hope you-" He was cut off by Kenny throwing his arms around him and dipping him into a surprise kiss. He squeaked softly in shock, then melted into the other's touch, wrapping his arms around Kenny's neck. When they parted, Kenny grinned brightly.

"I love it, Leo. Happy Valentine's Day," he said, then straightened them both and took Butters' hand, walking over to sit in the blankets. Once they settled down, he pulled the other close so they were resting against one another.

"Man, I'm really going to have to step up my game for next year," Kenny laughed. "I just have a card for you."

"Well geez, Kenny, if it's like the one you gave me last year, then I'm sure it's great," Butters said with a smile. His cheeks were flushed pink and he was clearly pleased with his gift's acceptance.

They talked for hours as the sun set behind the mountain, roasting hotdogs and making s'mores before putting a few of the blankets around their shoulders and cuddling to warm up by the fire. They watched the sky change color and the stars light up the night. It was breathtaking, or at least it would be if Kenny had been looking at it. Instead he was focused on another, equally stunning site.

Butters' face was all that was visible in the soft glow of the dying fire, his eyes seeming to sparkle as he watched the stars. Kenny had to take a second to catch his breath. He was just so beautiful.

He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a gust of cold wind. Butters shivered, rubbing his arms.

"Oh boy, we should go in the tent," he suggested, getting to his feet. "Let me turn on the generator."

Kenny nodded, though he desperately missed his warmth when he moved away. He got up as well and stretched, popping his back satisfyingly. He gathered their blankets and moved towards the tent. He hadn't actually investigated this section yet. Unzipping the flap, he looked inside and smiled.

Waiting for them was an air mattress piled with more blankets and pillows. It wasn't exactly warm in the tent, but it would heat up fast when the two where in. He set the blankets in his arms to the side and crawled onto the bed, kicking off his shoes and removing his coat. He heard the generator kick on, the soft hum buzzing in the background. Soon after, Butters joined him.

"What do you think?" he asked as he flopped down beside the other, making him bounce slightly.

"I think this is pretty fantastic," Kenny said. "For real, this is awesome, Leo. You did so much, it's been really great."

"I'm glad you liked it," he said with a smile. "I was a little worried you would think it was too much or something. I wanted to do somethin' real big to show you what ya mean to me. This last year with you, as mushy as it sounds, really has changed my life. I've been a lot happier, I have less nightmares, heck, I even get grounded less since we got together! You just mean a whole heck of a lot to me, and I wanted to be sure I could really express it to you."

Kenny felt his heart swell as Butters spoke. To know he could be a source of good for the other was more than enough for him, but for Butters to want to actually show him what a positive effect he had somehow made meant the world.

"Leo, I really do love you," he said softly as his boyfriend slipped under the blankets on the bed after removing his shoes.

Butters looked up, blushing darkly. "I love you, too."

Both were surprised how easy the words came to them. They had said it to one another before, but it never seemed to lose it's magic. Every time the phrase slipped from their mouths, it was like hearing it for the first time all over again. TV and movies had led them to believe that the first time they said it would be the hardest thing to do in all their lives, but never once had it felt that way. It was as natural as breathing.

Kenny joined Butters under the blankets, the pair sharing body heat to warm up. They left the flap of the tent unzipped, looking out into the clearing. The fire had died entirely, but the area was now lit with the dim light of the lanterns strung around the site. Valentines had fallen on a Friday this year, allowing them to stay up as late as they chose without repercussion.

The moon was high overhead when Butters drifted off, leaving Kenny awake. He watched the other sleep, eyes filled with affection. He leaned over, pressing a light kiss to his cheek.

"Goodnight, Leo," he whispered. "I love you. Happy Valentine's Day." He settled down beside him, tugging up the blankets to tuck in around them, then closed his eyes and fell asleep.

[catthedrawer]

Smell the Flowers - Aconite (1/16)

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*This story will be very angsty*

**The following is a list of what will very likely be within the story, Smell the Flowers.**

***Please be sure to read through the warnings, you have been warned in advanced***

WARNINGS

Major Character Death(s)

Graphic depictions of violence

Mentions of suicide

Possible suicide(s)

Possible self-harm

Blood

Murder

Alcohol Use

Offensive “jokes” by Eric Cartman

Bunny (Butters x Kenny)

Fluff 

****NOTE: This story is NOT meant to offend or marginalize any individual or group. This story is just meant to break your heart in about 20+ ways (oof)****

*****Please tell me what you think, and what you think could be improved, regardless of whether you liked it or not. I want to make the entire story as best as I can*****

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You can also view this story on my Wattpad (CATtheDrawer) or Archive account (CATtheDrawer)

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[Table of Contents]   [Next]

Smell the Flowers

Title: Aconite

Words: 5455

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August 21, 201X

Change is impossible. It has taken me awhile, but I’ve come to realize this truth about the world.

People are like gardens, they have an assortment of beautiful flowers in the beginning. They’re nice, and pleasant to be around, but over time they reveal the truth beneath the illusion.  Over time, those flowers wilt, and over time, it is ugly thorns beneath the rotting petals that are the real garden they were growing.

While this might be mistaken as the person has changed over time, it is actually that the person reveals who they were from the start. They are no longer able to hide beneath the charade of petals and pleasant fragrances or the innocence of their childhoods.

But despite that, I used to try to see the good in others. Maybe I hoped if I did that, I could then see the good in myself, but with every shove, every punch, and every string cut loose, I realized how fragile and shallow bonds really were.

People hurt for the sake of hurting, friends become bullies, and insecurities surface. The flowers that once bloomed with beauty wither away and die. Time rots away the illusions and reveals those carefully hidden thorns.

Every punch is an invitation for retaliation, but hitting back means getting hit harder. The moment I swing the teachers are already on me. Reprimanding me. Punishing me. Blaming me.

I'm not allowed to fight back, I can only smile and take it.

“You're not the victim, you're the problem.”

“You're too sensitive.”

“You don't know how to take a joke.”

“A pussy.”

Butters looked up in confusion at his only friend Eric Cartman. He was the only guy in South Park that would help him out, minus against bullies. He told Butters many times, when he asked, that if he got injured then he wouldn’t be able to help Butter out when he really needed it. Butters used to be skeptic over the concept, but over time he thought it made sense, and he didn’t want his only friend getting hurt because of him.

“A what?” Butters responded.

Cartman dug his fingers into the bag of chips and spoke again, “You’re a pussy, that’s the problem,” he shoveled a handful of chips into his mouth and laid back against the brick wall of South Park High. The two of them were located at the back of the school, the place where drug users, smokers, goths, ditchers, and delinquents would hang out all throughout the day. Right now Eric and Butters were occupying a small portion of this “secret” area during their lunch break.

Butters was the only one standing, more like pacing in front of Eric, “I am? H-how do I fix that?” Butters stopped just a little to the right of Eric and fiddled with his fingers. Today was August 21st, 12 p.m. this was the first day of his life as a high schooler. He was a freshman, a teenager, practically a man his father called him. But Butters needed to shape up instead of being pushed around so much…another thing his father told him.

“Easy,” Eric smacked his lips and licked his fingers, “if you’re pushed around because you’re a pussy with no backbone, then grow a spine. Punch a few people, stand up for yourself, join the dickheads and then they won’t ignore you, they’ll applaud you, duh,” Eric rolled his eyes and crumpled up the empty bag of chips.

“Oh gee Eric,” Butters shrunk back, “If I do that, I’ll get grounded again—“

“Yeah, see, that’s what I’m talking about. That’s your vagina talking,” Eric pushed off from the wall and leaned forward, “That makes horny guys want to screw with you because you’re a tight-ass, little pussy,” Eric did a crude motion with his fingers to “demonstrate” the action he was talking about. Butters fidgeted uncomfortably.

“Be more assertive and guys are less likely to fuck with you—now, could you throw this bag away and buy me like three candy bars?”

“Oh, ok, sure thing Eric...Thanks for the advice,” Butters took Eric’s trash and left. If his problem were that simple Butters would have fixed it a long time ago. But he couldn’t just change in the ways Eric suggested, he didn’t have the guts to be that kind of person.

He wanted to be nice, he wanted to be helpful, though maybe that was the problem. Maybe people didn’t like nice guys like him or found nice guys like him weird. As everyone grew older, people appeared differently.

Take Stan Marsh, for example, Butters would count him as one of the many people he thought was a friend growing up. As a child, he was an avid advocate against his father’s drinking problem but is now currently an underage drinker that often snuck away to the back of the school for a quick cig and swig.

Butters knew what Stan was doing was wrong and tried to tell Stan it was many times in the past but in response, Butters nearly had a half bottle of beer thrown at his head.

It didn’t get better from there either, all throughout middle school his reality seemed to change. The once closeness held by all of his “friends” dissipated into nothing more than a memory. And he was the only one that seemed to want that memory back. No one else minded the change, the revelations of personalities, the loss of certain friendships. All of it just became a part of their new life as preteens, and would soon, now, become a part of their new lives as teenagers.

How that came to be never revealed itself, but I tried to change. Ever since we all hit middle school the world spun itself upside down, and I was at the very bottom of it.

I don’t think I deserved this isolation, I don’t think I ever did anything to make people avoid me.

Maybe I was just unlucky, the easiest punching bag, the guy nobody would care for and nobody would notice.  But even so, I don’t think I deserved the isolation and mistreatment sentenced upon me.

Nowadays, there is more power in the names you are called than the person you are and less power in forgiveness you serve than the hate you spread.

I was told I should join the same people that ridiculed me.  Essentially become what has tormented me since middle school if I wanted to avoid those negatives for the rest of my life, but I couldn’t see when and where the problem would be solved if I did that.

Yet, at one point, as I processed the idea, it almost seemed like the solution. If I did as Eric said, I could have more friends again, I wouldn’t be ignored, I could be happy. There was a fleeting joy in my heart, but there was also this disgusting rotting hate too. Hate at myself for considering and enjoying an idea so cruel.

Was this the real me? Was I actually someone cruel enough to entertain such an idea of hate?

Was I already like them?

On Butters way into the school, he passed by a trash can, just what he needed. Though he was surprised to see the trash can was already overflowing with trash despite it only being the first half of the first day of school The sight of all the half-eaten food with several flies buzzing around made Butters want to turn around and find a less empty trash can. Hell, the smell was more than enough to put him on the brink of tears, but Butters quickly tossed Eric’s chip bag into the pile and left rather quickly. He only looked back at the vile container to make sure his trash had successfully landed in the pile and had not fallen to the floor.

No, I wasn’t, I would say to myself. I did what I was told.

I’m not like them.

I am good

Tears splattered onto the notebook paper. His pen was poised just as he crushed the period onto the paper. The black splotch larger than it should be. A built-up rage stored in one tiny, black dot.

Butters took a moment to breathe, he lifted his head and stared at the dark blue ceiling. Though it appeared black given the lights in his room were off and he only had one small light illuminating his desk.

He let out a shaky sigh and tried to calm himself, he couldn’t do this now, not yet. He had to finish writing first, and then...and then could he let loose.

Butters pushed away from his bedroom desk, the headache building in his head did little to ease his grief and hate. He was supposed to be sleeping, but he had other plans for tonight.

Butters wiped the fresh tears with the sleeve of his pajamas. He glanced out his open window and shook his head, he needed to finish first. Butters’ fist tightened before he hesitantly sat back down in his chair and continued writing.

Of course even as I write that, I know the lie I attempt to spread about myself.

I hated the names. I hated the abuse, but more than anything, I hated the loneliness. To lose everyone I had ever talked with to this plague of isolation and distrust made me angry.

Why was I the one suffering? What had I done to deserve this?

When I am alone at home, I would often imagine terrible justice upon all those that left me. I’ve even written some of the things I hoped would happen in the many journals my therapist makes me write.

The world is rotting, and all the people in it have rotted.

Including myself.

Butters tore out the page of his journal and crumpled it in one hand. He gnawed on the cap of his pen to stop himself from screaming in frustration. Everything he wrote felt sour in his mouth and couldn’t convey the real anguish and feeling in his heart.

It was pissing him off.

August 21, 201X

I tore out the other page, I’m not supposed to do that. I’ll tape it back in later, but let me write this first.

Butters hummed a little tune he made up in his head. He still was unsure about Eric’s advice, only frowning when he considered the possibility of it being the solution to all his problems.

When he entered the school, there was a vending machine immediately to his left, he was glad it was so close by as he wasn’t used to the school building yet. It was different than the elementary school and middle school and he’d already gotten lost during the first ten minutes of the school day.

Butters stopped humming as he dug into his pocket for some loose change and dollar bills to buy the candy bars. He knew Eric liked Hershey Bars a lot and luckily he spotted one.

“Hey, get out of the way, dick,” Butters jumped.

“Oh gee,” he turned to look behind him, it was Craig, “I-I’m sorry, I’m just looking for my quarters, I’ll be quick,” Craig wasn’t terribly mean to him, but he didn’t talk to Butters either. As far as he knew, Craig was too busy with his boyfriend Tweek.

“Just get out of the way, I’m not in a good fucking mood,” Craig growled.

“Just give me a minute,” Butters pulled out four quarters, he just needed one more for the Hershey’s bar--

Butters was slammed against the vending machine, he gasped for breath and dropped all his quarters. From the corner of his vision he saw one of them roll underneath the machine, “I said fucking move, I don’t think I should have to repeat myself to a bitch like you…”

Butters shakily nodded, he was shocked. Sure Craig was short, but he was still intimidating and angry looking, but he had never once raised a fist against anyone unless they were threatening his boyfriend.

Craig released Butters and Butters ducked away from the machine. It terrified Butters, whatever pissed him off was now being released on him, and in these situations, Butters found it easiest to duck his head and follow orders.

Craig was at the machine for quite some time as he bought more than an armful of chips and candy bars, and for some reason, Butters didn’t think he planned on sharing any.

“I...I need to buy some candy bars, I’ll be qui--”

“Shut up and stand there, or go to the other machine at the other end of the school,” Craig interrupted him. Butters couldn’t do that, he still didn’t know his way around school, and it would take too long. Lunch would be over by then.

“B--”

“Do you know why I called you a bitch?” Craig turned to Butters, Butters shut his mouth and shook his head, “It’s because you’re Eric’s little bitch. Everyone knows it, and you know what else everyone knows,” Craig hissed.

“N-no?”

“Eric is only using you, so a word of advice, quit being his bitch for god’s sake. People might actually talk to you if you weren’t such a cock sucking bitch.”

Butter’s eyes widened as Craig collected his armful of food and turned to leave.  Butters shook off the stunned expression he had as Craig continued to walk, “Y-You’re wrong! E-Eric is my friend, he...he would never use me!”

“Ha! Go suck a dick,” Craig answered.

Butters hated how life had changed. He remembered the good times he had with Craig growing up, despite his cynical and monotone behavior, he’d always been someone Butters was glad to call a friend. Underneath it all, he was a good guy, but now…

Butters sighed, Craig was wrong.

This entry is my goodbye, but that seems sudden and unexpected.

I’m supposed to write more about my feelings on the events that occur in a single day, but there is nothing to really elaborate on. It is simple really.

I am angry. Betrayed.

Angry at myself for being so dumb and gullible, I really thought people could change. Even the worst person could grow to be better.

Even a guy like me still had a friend to rely on.

But even that was a lie.

“Dude, you’re a fucking dick,” Butters stopped walking. Lunch was nearly over and he was hurrying back to give Eric the candy bars he finally managed to buy. He was doing his best to put Craig’s words behind him, good friends would never doubt each other.

“No, you’re the fucking dick, don’t assume my intentions are anything but being a good friend to poor Butters.”

Butters pressed his back against the wall. He was pretty sure that was Stan talking to Eric.

“Quit the charity act you manipulative snake,” Stan scoffed.

“Hey! Butters is fine with it, he’s like my bitch dude, it’s cool. He’ll do whatever I say, no questions asked, like a dog wagging his tail for their owner, man,” Eric paused to cough, “Dude, can you..can you not smoke here in my face?”

There was a pause before Stan spoke up, “First, that’s just plain fucking slavery you fatass cunt, second, this is a free country and I’ll smoke wherever I please. Besides lunch is almost over and I don’t give a fuck about 5th period so I’m going to skip and smoke instead.”

“Hmph, hypocrite, smoking is illegal and you are wrong. I don’t own Butters, he just willingly does what I want. He wants to.” Eric commented smugly as if he caught Stan red-handed and beaten him at his own game.

Stan scoffed, “He wants to? Only because he thinks you’d do the same for him,” Stan’s words were followed by Eric coughing. Butters imagined Stan blew smoke into Eric’s face.

“Screw you man! I was here first, and I’m waiting for Butters to bring my candy bars!”

Butters stayed hidden, he couldn’t turn the corner just yet, Craig’s words made it impossible.

“I hope Butters finds out what a dick you really are, you deserve to rot alone.”

“Yeah?” Eric sneered, “And where is that loser supposed to go? If it wasn’t for me he’d probably be some depressed shit hanging from a noose in some dark alley--”

“Jesus fucking Christ! Do you even have a soul?” Butter couldn’t help but peek as Stan raised his voice. His eyes widened as he saw Stan toss his cigarette aside and grab Eric by his shirt, “Suicide is not a fucking joke, you’re stringing Butters along in a false friendship. You’re going to end up killing him you piece of shit.”

“It’s not murder if it’s suicide,” Eric calmly replied.

Stan tossed Eric to the ground and pulled out his pack of cigarettes from his pocket, “I wasted a cig because of you, so just get lost before your ugly face pisses me off more.”

“I’m still waiting for Butters,” Eric enunciated and emphasized every other word in a slow drawl.

Eric should die, he didn’t deserve all the good things that happened in his life.

People can’t change into better people.

People can’t change into worse people.

You are what you are from start to finish, a predetermined destiny of good or bad, and Eric was one of the bad.

I know that now. I hate it, but I can’t do anything about it, because it applies to me too. I am a fool for believing in Eric, but I’ve been a fool from the start and will be until the end. But more than that, I’m just as bad as Eric, and the two of us will continue to rot until we are the most despicable beings on the planet. It’s fate.

But I can fix that.

I can make things better, even if only for a moment.

Butters took a few steps back, the candy bars in his hands forgotten in an instant.

Had everything been a lie?

Butters head hurt, he stumbled backward and dropped the candy bars without realizing. He turned and ran away, where he was going, he didn’t know.

Everything he held onto was stripped away in an instant, his last hope, his last friend. Gone.

Butters was alone, truly alone. He had no one...or perhaps, he never had anyone to begin with.

Butters clumsily slammed into the trashcan he’d seen earlier, the tears in his eyes had made it damn near impossible for him to see. The rotting trash stained his clothes and dug its way under his nails but he pushed his way past the pungent smell and slimy banana peels.

Butters kept running. He kept pumping his legs and gasping for air.

He was falling.

A single moment seemed to last a lifetime.

The ground broke away and the world was stripped from his sense as everything faded.

He was isolated in a void of empty black.

“No,” Butters whispered. It was only because of Eric he hadn’t given up on the world. The guy who as a kid was less than kind, yet, seemed to change ever so slightly into someone Butters could call a friend. He was the only one that stuck by him. The only one that tolerated him.

It was like he was standing on a desolate field; a single withering flower was the only life that remained. And at that moment that Butters realized the emptiness of his life, the smallest breeze tore away the last few petals away.

Butters was alone, withered, and broken.

Butters cried.

Little kids are pure and dumb. They laugh and cry and laugh and play. Their joys seemingly infinite, their problems foolishly forgotten.

The things we do as children stay with us as memories.

I remember being welcomed into a small group of friends when I was younger, but I also remember being later rejected by them as they looked for someone better than me. As a kid these sorts of things are supposed to be harmless, yet, it still hurt to be rejected like that.

Maybe that was the start of all this crap.

I was just a kid at the time, but in my frustration, I made a silly costume and donned the name of Professor Chaos. I wanted revenge on the society that had wronged me, on the friends who had left me. But I never went farther than a garden hose made to flood the world.

However, after I started the 6th grade, I celebrated my birthday.

No one came.

I was angry, I know shouldn’t have gotten so worked up, there must’ve been a reason why everyone forgot. At the time I was irrational and needed an outlet, a little terrorism as Chaos.

Harassment.

But it didn’t stop there. More and more it seemed as though people began to avoid me.

Friends became strangers.

Harassment evolved into vandalism.

Strangers became bullies.

Vandalism escalated to thievery.

It was fun and there was no one around to stop me back then.

The sound of a blaring honk woke Butters from his fear. The desolate he thought he was trapped in melted to reveal the bumper of a bright red SUV.

“Dumb kid! Get out of the road!”

Butters faltered, his voice hitched in the back of the throat. The words he tried to speak felt strangled in his mouth. Instead, his fingers gripped the street as he pushed off and ran.

He ran until his breathing labored and his footsteps began to stagger. Going home was his only option, by now the school probably called his home because he ditched, so he'd be grounded regardless.

The extent of my bravado was theft, but now I don’t think it matters.

I’m already rotting.

“Butters! I just got a call from your school! You ditched your class!” As soon as Butters opened the door he was met with the menacing glare of his father. His mother was in the doorway of the kitchen glancing at him with concern.

Butters ducked his head and sucked in a large breath. He was still reeling from all the running.

“It's your first day of high school! What do you have to say for yourself.”

Butters hesitated, this was always an invitation for ridicule, but his heart hurt so much he couldn't help the sudden onslaught of fresh tears.

For a moment the tension seemed to lessen and Butters looked up at his dad. His dad’s eyes softened.

“Go to your room mister, you’re grounded. Spend this time reflecting on your poor actions and write in your journal.”

“Y-yes dad,” Butters answered.

I made a list when I was younger. A list of all the people I thought were jerks. I wanted to keep note of all the people who made me angry, even though, I could do nothing to them physically during the day my alter-ego could at night. Even if it was as small as stealing their PS controller or drawing weiners on their homes.

I was fine with that. It helped me level with the world.

But I’ve made a new list. A list where Eric Cartman was the sole name on the list.

A “list” now of a person who I wish would disappear. A person who will disappear.

Butters curled up into his bed. It was still mid-afternoon so he couldn’t sleep. He just curled up and let tears slip out into a messy wet spot on his covers. He didn’t make a sound, it was almost like he had died.

He was finally alone. He had no one he could turn to now.

He had nothing left.

A guy with no future, no hope, no love.

Butters squeezed his eyes shut and hugged his knees close to his chest and choked back the noisy sobs he wanted to make. He couldn’t make a sound, this was his problem and his alone.

“Why…” he whimpered to no one but himself, he was, after all, alone.

He was back to the desolate field of empty happiness and meaningless promises. He was back to the never-ending loneliness that plagued his nightmares, his sole fear in life a reality. He felt sick to his stomach as it felt like someone had taken a stick and decided to churn and mix up his insides.

Butters stopped crying. He stopped whimpering. He opened his eyes and there was a twisted fire in them. A maddening desire lit inside his soul.

He had nothing left, he had no reason to hold back the carefully hidden cruelty behind his own fists.

Butters crawled off his bed and kneeled on the floor.

There was no longer a need to lie to himself, no longer a need to pretend he was good. He was bad. He was rotten.

Butters extended his arm underneath his bed and winced as he felt the ground until his fingertips lightly brushed a box.

He was angry. He was full of an unexplained hate.

With both arms, he reached for the box and pulled it closer. He then pried the lid off the top of the box and tossed it aside.

He was Chaos.

People don’t change, they grow more into the roles they were meant to hold.

Just like Eric’s, his thorns were fully exposed for the world to see.

Eric is a backstabbing, shell of a human. That will never change, but even someone like me can make the world a little brighter. All he had to do was…

Chaos stalked the small town streets, his mind was practically empty. He was running on pure hate and an empty stomach alone. He had only one thought in his head.

Kill Eric Cartman.

Underneath his helmet, his eyes were red from crying. His hands were numb from writing and rewriting in his journal at home. This was his final stand as Chaos, and he hoped that the world would at least bless him with this one miracle, this one chance to rid the world of two evils.

Chaos pushed open the door to the store.

“What can I do for ya!” Chaos noticed the flicker of confusion that crossed the owner’s eyes as he saw the way he was dressed, but he was quick to shrug it off. Chaos felt a sudden shiver, a sudden urge to turn around and forget he ever had the idea, but his legs continued moving forward.

“I...I need a gun,” As much as he would like to strangle Eric himself or even stab him to death, he doubted he’d get very far before Eric overpowered him. The sooner he could kill Eric, the better, no chance for error.

“Sure thing, any specifics?” The man behind the counter was called Jimbo, he was the half-uncle to Stan Marsh.

Chaos felt his heart racing, he was doing it, he would do it, “A handgun?”

Kill Eric Cartman.

He needed to keep that mantra in his head, remember why he was doing this, remember everything he’d done to him. He could do it.

Chaos watched as Jimbo picked out a gun rather quickly and brought out a small and slim gun of black color. He placed it on the counter, “How about this lovely Glock G43…” Chaos drowned out the rest of Jimbo’s description.

He picked it up without thinking, for some reason, there was no more fear or hesitation in his heart when he held the sleek frame of the gun. The object itself seemed to urge him onwards towards his goal. The smallest smile crept onto his face.

Kill Eric Cartman.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Jimbo place several full magazines on the counter.

“This here is the ammo, the 9mm Luger designed by Georg Luger. You have a small little button on the side of your gun, the magazine release, that will allow you to reload. This weapon is an excellent choice for self-defense and easily concealed.”

Chaos reached for the magazine but a hand stopped him, “Whoa there buddy, you haven't even paid yet.”

Chaos glared at him, “I need it,” he said. He was so close. He gritted his teeth and paused, for a moment, he loosened up and was about to place the gun back on the counter. Jimbo eased up and in that second his fist flew to meet Jimbo’s chin.

Jimbo stumbled back in shock. Chaos fumbled with the magazines before grabbing a few and running.

Kill Eric Cartman. Kill Eric Cartman.

“Hey, you costume freak, get back here you piece of shit!” Chaos ignored him and shoved the magazines into his pocket. Now he just needed to make it to Eric's house before...before he ran into him.

No doubt the moment the police report came in he would be looking for him.

I've given up on this world and the people in it. I never really saw myself in a good light, but I always had someone that made me feel worth something…

Of course...all that has been stripped away. If I could take out every asshole in the world, I would. Then maybe I will have done some good for everyone here.

But I only have one chance for one person.

I’m sorry dad for being a terrible son.

I’m sorry mom for being a disappointment.

I’ve let everyone down to the point they’ve left me and instead of manning up I was a coward and did crime.

I’ve accepted my role in this world and will live it until the last.

Chaos was shaking as he walked. He stole a gun, never before had he done something so insane, but here he was. He could hardly focus and it felt like his chest was going to burst due to how hard his heart beat inside his body.

Kill Eric Cartman.

Kill Eric Cartman.

Kill--

Chaos looked up as he stumbled through the street. The moon looked so very nice with all the stars surrounding it. He shivered at the slight breeze, he wanted to take in this sight one last time. Even though he has walked these streets so many times, it never felt this fresh and new to him before.

Chaos stiffed as he heard a gasp in front of him. His eyes widened and he looked down towards the street, a woman was standing there with her hand’s over her mouth. Her eyes were fixated on him--no, on the gun.

The woman took a few steps back, “W-wait, stop.” He took a step forward but she spun around and rain dropping her bag in the process.

“Stop!” Chaos chased after her, but his feet caught on each other and he slammed down into the ground, “No!” Chaos raised his gun; he didn’t have a choice. It was all for the greater good, there was no reason to doubt himself now.

The gun clicked and Chaos realized he never loaded it. He cursed and pushed himself up and ran after her. He could still see her, he couldn’t let her report him. He couldn’t let himself be found yet, not yet. He was so close. So close.

Chaos fumbled to load his gun. He dropped one magazine in the process but kept running, “Dammit!”

“Stop running!” He didn’t want this. He didn’t want this. He just…

Butters bit back a sob and raised his gun again. He fired.

There was a scream and Chaos stopped, he trembled and stepped back. The woman was sobbing as she limped away. Chaos turned away and ran into the nearest alley.

“No!” he screamed underneath the casted shadows in the alley.  His body slammed against the brick wall and he dropped the gun. It thudded on the ground, what had he done? He...shot...someone. It wasn’t even Eric! It wasn’t even himself! How could he let himself do that?

Chaos screamed, turned, and punched the brick wall he slammed into. Once. Twice. Thre--he stopped before the third time. His knuckles were scraped and bleeding, his body shook uncontrollably. Tears splattered onto his other hand and Chaos looked down. Even though only one hand was bleeding he felt as though both hands were covered in it. His knuckles were almost glowing white because of how tightly he clenched his fists.

He was bad. He was truly bad and it was unforgivable.

There was a thud and Chaos stiffened; he spun to face the sound. He took one step towards the sound and stopped.

In a world of rot, there are no pretty flowers to smell. There is only the trash left behind.

-Butters Stotch

“A gun, huh? Didn’t peg you as a killer, Chaos.”

I really hope you all enjoyed this and keep an eye out for the future updates. These chapters do take a bit of time to write (this one went through 2 drafts before being completed in 1.5 weeks or so)

[Table of Contents]   [Next]

[scotttenormanaskblog]

Buttman (ultimate ship Meme)

General:

Rate the Ship: I like it! |  The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? Unless Eric gets therapy and a big attitude adjustment probably not long but they're bros for life curse you last season Eric didn't have to be abusive

How quickly did/will they fall in love? Eric had a crush on Butters for a while he just didn't realize it but it's obvious he's attracted​ to him and​ he's definitely the most open with him they're bfs

As for Butters he use to admire Eric but that wall broke still he cares about him it would probably take him longer to get with Eric he has his own relationship baggage that he needs to heal from

How was their first kiss? Passionate on Eric's end

Wedding:

Who proposed? Both at the same time

Who is the best man/men? Stan and Dougie

Who is the braid’s maid(s) Kenny

Who did the most planning? It was pretty equal

Who stressed the most? Butters he was worried his dad would show up and ruin it

How fancy was the ceremony? Pretty fancy Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. Was a pretty big wedding room not many people showed up sadly

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? Kyle to bad Stan invited him/ Mr.Stotch 

Sex:

Who is on top? - Eric , sometimes Butters

Who is the one to instigate things? Fucking Butters he was labeled a sex addict

How healthy is their sex life?  Pretty healthy there are a few bruises at times which Eric feels bad aboutBarely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now:  humping

How kinky are they? Eric is a Dom prove me wrong so really kinkyStraight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head: Spankings are the only thing off limits

How long do they normally last? Hours

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? -i don't know

How rough are they in bed? - It's Eric probably pretty rough but if it gets to much he tons it downSofter than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. Shaking bed

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? TonsNo touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. Snuggle and kisses

Randomly I say Eric is clueless his first time all his suggestions are what he saw from Liane so the first time is a mess

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? Four with Doctor Mesphestos help

How many children will they adopt? 0

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? , Butters Eric ain't touching that shit

Who is the stricter parent? Neither the kids are spoiled Butters doesn't ground them and Eric coddled them

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? Butters

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? Eric makes them meals his mom use to make him

Who is the more loved parent? Butters 

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Butters 

Who cried the most at graduation? Eric

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? Eric

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? Eric 

Who is the most picky in their food choice?Eric

Who does the grocery shopping? Both of them

How often do they bake desserts? All the time

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? Eric loves meat and butters wishes he would eat more salad

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? Eric but on the wrong day oops

Who is more likely to suggest going out? -Eric

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? Eric who sometimes falls asleep on the couch while cooking

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Butters on instinct

Who is really against chores? -Eric

Who cleans up after the pets? -Butters cleans the hamster cage Eric does the litter box

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? -Eric, this displeases butters

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? -Butters

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? -Eric 

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Eric

Who takes the dog out for a walk? -no one

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? -All the time 

What are their goals for the relationship? Butters as get Eric to go on a diet Eric is learning to control his mood swings

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? -Butters he spends a lot of time cleaning he's actually obsessed so it wears him out

Who plays the most pranks? Eric and it ends​ with him sleeping on the couch