#anti kyman

[tyranitardude]

Stumbled across this meme, and it definitely fits Kyman and Dip lmao. The former is self explanatory, and the latter is because Damien set Pip on fire.

[firefly-sky]

to the people who justify kyman with ‘oh but cartman cares for kyle!!!!1! just look at smug alert and-‘ no. he doesn’t care about kyle.

the reason he did what he did in smug alert was for his own benefit. because he wanted somebody to fight with and rip on. because butters wasn’t sufficient enough. because he likes seeing kyle miserable.

and if you’re gonna justify it with jewpacabra by saying ‘oh but kyle broughtt cartman home!’ kyle is compassionate. he’s been shown to be compassionate, even with strangers. i think that’s even what it says on his official page. he brought cartman home because that’s probably what he thought was right to do morally. morals drive him. he’s a lot nicer than people credit him for.

anyway. those two hate each other. they’ve said it multiple times. there’s no episodes that are ‘ship fuel’. there’s no indication that the two have feelings for each other other than the fact that cartman is oddly sexually obsessed with kyle.

so anyway. that’s my rant.

[asteria7fics]

I strongly believe that people who hate Kyle, and/or people who ship two-sided Kyman have never had someone in their friend group that they unironically could not stand, but still tried to see the good in them because having one bad friend isn't as bad as potentially having no friends at all.

Double points if that motherfucker developed a crush on you.

[janedoest]

real live footage of me when i find out a artist i like ships kyman

[roostertuftart]

Obligatory green hat kid ask

GOTTA do kyle yes ofc.

Ask meme

Sexuality Headcanon: I'm so divided on this for Kyle! Really love him being gay, but also I love making like. Every character bisexual for maximum shipping potential- Plus like!! Kyle being a biromantic demisexual makes me so happy :)) He's definitely demi for me no matter what!!! And I think he has a male preference if he is bisexual. I have the headcanon that he actually thought he was gay for a long time because he only really had crushes on his close friends, all of them being guys, until he becomes friends with like, Wendy or someone and realizes "oh shit, I like girls too???"

Gender Headcanon: Another thing I'm mixed on. But I think I'm leaning a binary man (I can see him as both cis or trans) and he doesn't really care about it that much. He seems extremely comfortable with his masculinity which has always been one of my favorites traits he has! Overall I just see him being mostly masculine presenting but not minding being gender nonconforming and not really being super troubled by the thought of gender or gender presentation. Like, oh, his friends are all cross dressing for fun? Sure, he'll join in just for the heck of it. But it's not something he thinks deeply about at the same time, if that makes sense. I like agender Kyle too :)

A ship I have with said character: My favorite favorite favorite ship with Kyle is Stendylenny but to go for more of the popular ones, style and K2 both are pretty good and I think about them often. I love Kyle's dynamic with those two! K2 is always really wholesome and loving and I really like how spicy and complicated style can be! I could go for like an hour listing off rairpairs and crackships I like for Kyle because he's so shippable, but some of my other favorites for him are cryle, kyndy, and one sided kyman

A BROTP I have with said character: Kyndy probably? When I'm not shipping Kyle and Wendy, I love them as best friends. There's this popular trend of them hating each other in the fandom and that's fine but I just cannot see it, they're so alike and they've only ever gotten along, you know? I think they'd be even closer as they got older, especially with how they've both shed a lot of their more toxic traits with time. Idk if it counts but Kyle and his relationship with Ike is also iconic and deserves way more attention.

A NOTP I have with said character: Kymannnnnn I'm sorry lol. Really love it one sided and I have had AUs and stuff where I've been able to stomach them both being romantically involved but overall something about the ship just tends to make me extremely uncomfortable. I can see the appeal but as I've said before, I just cannot fathom Kyle having returned feelings for Eric Cartman unless it was from some sort of fucked up trauma response, which is interesting for plot but if that's as far as it can go for me, I don't think I count as a shipper.

A random headcanon: Kyle has freckles supremacy!!! Also he's autistic and has cPTSD. And he gets a cat at some point even though he's lightly allergic.

General Opinion over said character: Favorite boy love him so much. I want to pick him up and throw him as far as I can

[gender-thief2]

kyman is so funny to me because like that would be SO embarrassing for both of them💀 like imagine beefing with a guy for literally your entire life and then suddenly realizing you like him i would never recover

[auntienichole]

I HATE Stan Marsh and Butters scotch so fucking much and I don't understand why everybody loves\protect them they are SO FUCKING HORRIBLE! If you wish death upon me for hating on Stan or Butters FUCK YOU YOU'RE FUCKING AWFUL FOR DOING THAT!

You can't force me into liking Stan or Butters at all! NO way! NO HOW!

Also FUCK Kenny and Cartmen I hate them as well!

[pocketherbert]

Kyman antis are actually so fucking funny

[riships]

“Matt and Trey would hate you for shipping kyman!”

Okay I know this is hard for you to believe, they are in their 50s with wives and kids. They are not chronically online and they do not care what random teenagers or even adults on the Internet ship because wait for it South Park is anti-censorship and Matt and Trey the creators are anti-censorship and Trey even said he doesn’t mind shipping like he doesn’t care and Matt probably doesn’t either you know why? because they are aware that it’s fiction and doesn’t affect reality. Therefore they don’t care because they have lives.

(I had to have this rent because of an argument I had on TikTok with somebody)

[breakinghorses]

I was iffy on posting this bc I have a LOT of ideas preceding and following this particular scenario and wanted to have it all finished before i shared stuff, but, eh. If I draw anymore, i’ll compile it somehow. I probs won't clean up the comics more than this though due to being busy, so u guys only get loose scribbles.

Also shoutout to @numbknee's fics for hella inspiring me enough to want to loosely play with some of their ideas/characterizations (hoping they don't mind), if u haven't read their fics, you should: https://archiveofourown.org/users/numbknee/pseuds/numbknee/works?fandom_id=35537

[tyranitardude]

The only reason why Candy is a fairly popular South Park ship is because a lot of the South Park fandom turns Wendy into a catty, bitchy, hateful bully in fanfic, and the popularity of Style plays a role in that. Candy is basically to Kyman as Style is to Stendy. How are people shipping Candy after Dances With Smurfs and Breast Cancer Show Ever? Plus, Cartman literally has booed Wendy numerous times. As for Kyman, it’s pretty self explanatory. It’s almost as bad as Candy, but worse.

[firefly-sky]

warning, anti-kyman rant under the cut. i’m not saying that anyone who ships kyman deserves to die or anything, this is just my opinion on the ship. don’t…get crazy here. i’m not saying anything about the shippers themselves, i’m talking about the ship.

i genuinely don’t understand kyman.

this is so over said but shipping a neonazi with the only jewish kid in the show (minus kyle shwartz) doesn’t make any sense.

and i know some people have ‘proof’ like ‘oh cartman bullies kyle because he likes him!’ like cartman also bullies kenny, butters, and basically everyone on the show. because he is insane. and yes, i understand that kyle is the one who is bullied the most by cartman. but like…wendy was too?? the whole breast cancer episode was basically cartman harassing wendy, like i can see her and cartman having a one sided crush (cartman crushing on wendy) more so than cartman crushing on kyle. and didn’t he bully that one little person on the show? mr nilsson? does that mean that him and mr nilsson are gonna get freaky? (have a feeling i just predicted the next big ship/hj)

and like…i get most of cartman’s foils make kyle look gay, but that’s because cartman likes to humiliate kyle. humiliating kyle makes cartman feel good, hence why he does it, i guess? and i too was made fun of because someone liked me, and even if cartman did have a crush on kyle, i doubt kyle would even forgive him/give him a chance. and besides. i’m pretty sure cartman is the straightest, whitest, most homophobic person in the entire show. i don’t believe he would ever fall for kyle.

and kyle himself has said ‘i hate cartman with all of my heart’ like…doesn’t that kinda click?? if someone did half the shit cartman did to kyle to me because they liked me i would go apeshit. just an opinion. istg y’all would ship anything and anyone. it’s like the new my hero academia. like, again, ship what you want, but why? it’s so annoying to see people get into screaming fights about ships like the show wasn’t even made for that. never in the show have any of the characters expressed a romantic or possibly romantic interest in each other, and yes, the lore can be fun. but when people are getting into screaming wars about this shit it’s so annoying to see. like chill and agree to disagree. it is not that deep. let people ship what they want, you don’t need to scream at everyone for not shipping what you want. just personally? kyman? fuck. no. please dni if you ship this.

as for the ship itself? i’m not a fan. i’m not saying everyone who ships it deserves to die or go to hell, i’m saying that the ship itself doesn’t make sense. a neonazi with a jewish kid doesn’t really click? and don’t even get me STARTED on whatever the fuck a ‘holocaust au’ is. what the fuck does that even mean. that’s just wrong and insensitive. that’s just my opinion though, feel free to do what you like, but lmk if i’m being an asshole

[wemwem]

And that's on periodt

[anthareblog]

I’M PEEING MY PANTS WHY IS THE AI A KYMAN ANTI???😭😭😭

[roostertuftart]

idk if you are over your whole one sided kyman thing but tbh i used to think i was a "kyman shipper" when really i was more of a one-sided-kyman shipper, i just thought everybody was on the same boat as me lmao imagine my surprise when i came across the naz1/jewish fanarts

anyways, imagine if kyle ever finds cartman's diary where he drew kyle x kyle with hearts around it lol

I think most people who ship it are more involved with the enemies to lover aspect of it than fetishizing anything like that, and while I’m a HUGE fan of enemies to lovers, idk man. Kyman just has its own list of problems as to why I can’t see it ever being possible both sided unless Kyle was in an extremely unwell mindset or it’s an AU completely separate from canon.

To answer your second question, I think Kyle would just be extremely disgusted and not immediately view it as some sort of fucked up crush and moreso just weird art meant to make fun of him. I think Kyle would have a hard time believing Cartman had feelings for him and wouldn’t really want to believe it for that matter…

[c0unt-fagu1a]

Kyman Headcanons

Kyle monitors Eric's Twitter/X so he doesn't get banned

They probably watch a shit ton of movies, but Kyle heavily dislikes horror movies, and his least favorite is Human Centipede. They've watched it once, and Kyle hates it. He'd leave the room if Cartman ever tried to get him to watch it again

Kyle sends Eric an alarming amount of Instagram reels/TikToks/dumb shit when he's severely bored

Not entirely Kyman, but Eric is genderfluid (Kyle doesn't care as long as they're both comfortable)

After a while, Eric begins to read the Torah (I think that's the name of the Jewish scripture. Please correct me if I'm wrong) (and when I say after a while, I mean six months to a year)

Eric also thinks about openly converting to Judaism (he does!!)

Shockingly, Eric can cook and bake (he's a housewife fr /j)

They have like 5 million cats (2. It's 2 cats.)

Kyle always steals Eric's clothes because they're "dirty" (he wears them)

Eric wears glasses, and though he hates them, Kyle loves them

It's the same with Kyle's hair– Kyle hates his hair, but Eric is actually obsessed over it.

Kyle calls Eric "Eric" when they're alone but "Cartman" in public. He doesn't use many other pet names

Cartman uses a ton of pet names, and they're mostly obnoxious (Kyle love them)

Eric also loves PDA, whereas Kyle pretty much only likes hand holding and a kiss on the cheek in public

Kyle calling Eric "Cartman" is like your parent saying your full name for them

Cartman overexaggerating absolutely everything in their relationship

Eric is a Zodiac Girl

I suggest (later down the line):

Eric is learning how to make traditional Jewish meals, especially for holidays (like Hanukkah). He comes over one winter to celebrate with the Broflovskis. Makes a perfect Latke or whatever it's called.

Sheila isn't pleased to have him over. Kyle thinks it'll be a disaster.

Sheila is very hesitant to try the latkes. She is pleasantly shocked when it's wonderful

Also, Eric gets along with everyone in the Broflovskis family eventually.

He's a sweet and pleasant boy in front of Sheila. An absolute terror with Ike (they probably bond by gaming together), and he's worse when he and Gerald are trolling people online.

Kyle has no idea what or how Eric is getting along, but he's slightly suspicious of it, nonetheless

Eric and Sheila talk about Kyle's hair all the time.

"He's so handsome. I don't know why my little boy hides his curls."

"I know, Mrs. Broflovski. I keep telling him, but he's just so stubborn."

Everyone thinks that Eric's love language is physical touch (because of how he acts in public) it's actually acts of service