#it’s my senior year and i have my internship this next semester

[snndri]

i need to be sparce today. 6 hours until essay is dueeeee. So huh... if you see me on, tell me to stop lmao

[joelmillers-whore]

Hard Light | Chapter 1

summary: when a new english professor begins teaching your class for the duration of your semester, you can’t help but develop an innocent crush on him. he’s as off-limits as he can be, but that doesn’t deter you in the slightest. after a drunk night, you accidentally email him something that wasn’t intended to ever be seen by anyone. but that doesn’t matter. it triggers a misunderstanding that manifests into an affair with your professor who is twenty years your senior. nothing good could come of this, right? 

pairings: professor!joel x college student!reader

word count: 2.2K

series or one-shot

warnings: 18+ explicit, minors DNI, no mention of Y/N, alternate universe, professor/student relationship, eventual smut, self-esteem issues, workaholic, joel x female!reader, infatuation bordering on obsession (stay delulu friends), some sexual thoughts, masturbation (f), joel being a huge tease lol, (will add more tags as i write)

AN: i am so excited by the response that my joel one-shot got a few days ago and i’ve been itching to get something else out to you all. big, giant forehead kisses for those who want one, i love you all. so, anyway, a mini-series about professor joel is coming at you fast. i’ve written the first few chapters, so expect those in the near future. i’m thinking once a week? this fic is going to be something else and i’m so excited to share it with ya’ll. enjoy, and let me know what you think. find my ao3 here for more content and other fandoms.

You were running late for your shift at the coffee shop on campus, rummaging around your dresser, trying to find the low-cut black top you always wore when you had a shift. You weren’t usually one to feed into the peer pressure of those around you, but push came to shove when you found it nearly impossible to keep yourself afloat as a twenty-something student without the added extra tips from your part-time job.

So what if you had to show a little bit of cleavage? Right? There was no harm. Student loans were a bitch and on top of rent and food costs, you had to get a job at the coffee shop and balance a full course load just to make ends meet. 

A thought popped into your head and you rushed to your laptop, throwing it open as you checked the time; 5:45 AM. If you busted out your lightning-fast typing skills, you would have enough time to catch the next bus and make it to campus with five minutes to spare. If only your crappy second-hand computer would work.

The thing honestly sounded like a chopper engine, getting ready for lift-off. You were surprised you’d gotten this far with it. Not that you weren’t appreciative, your older brother had passed it down and it had relieved a huge weight—  and expense off of your shoulders. 

You tabbed into your school portal, typing in your credentials and selecting your English course. You sighed heavily, as you skimmed over the assignment for this week, something to do with a sonnet that you couldn’t care less about. You loved school but ever since becoming an English major, the spark that you once had for literature sort of just evaporated.

You couldn’t tell if it was because of how busy you were with everything else that you just couldn’t find the time to enjoy it, or the thought that really scared you, you had fallen out of love with it. 

It had been two years of go, go, go and you were, for lack of a better word, burnt out. You’d tried dropping courses last semester, thinking that you just needed a little bit of ease when it came to your course load, but when that didn’t solve the problem and only made things worse for you, you spent the last two semesters trying to catch up and get yourself to a place where you could finally breathe.

But it wasn’t easy. You were only now caught up to where you had been, the illusion that you were someone who could afford to take time off and slow down was a distant memory. 

In bold letters, the words Paid Internship jumped off of the screen. You smiled as you leaned in closer to the screen, making sure you read through everything correctly. This was the break above the surface that you needed, the reprieve that you had been chasing. A paid internship was exactly how you’d be able to make more money and maybe have a little breathing room before you worked yourself into an early grave.

You clicked the mail icon at the top and clicked into a new email, deciding that the worst-case scenario was that you wouldn’t get the internship. All you were doing was inquiring about the application process. Best-case scenario; you’d get it and make some extra pocket money. 

You saw the time, cursing under your breath as you slammed the laptop closed, grabbed your phone out of the charger and ran out of the door. You couldn’t be late, not again. You texted your co-worker Jeremy to open the shop without you and explained to him that you were running a few minutes late, as you barely made it to the bus. You climbed on board, scanned your student pass and found a seat near the back. Your chest was burning from the rush of trying to make it on time, but you could breathe easy now.

You checked your messages mindlessly, scrolling through a bunch of unread ones that you didn’t have the heart to answer. 

Before you knew it, the familiar monuments and buildings of UT Austin came into view, and the subtle change of scenery from downtown to a more densely packed area made your heart skip a beat. It was the same each time you were back on campus. Which, these days, was often. Sliding out of the seat, you made your way to the front, thanking the driver as the bus came to a complete stop. 

The coffee shop was only a short walk from the bus stop but even still you quickened your pace. You didn't want to leave Jeremy alone for long, you already felt bad enough about letting him open by himself. You stifled a yawn as you pushed open the door to the small cafe, leaning your body into the door, slightly cringing at the shrill sound of the bell. 

"There you are", a male voice called, making your head snap up. You wiggled your nose, the familiar timbre of your ex-boyfriend's voice ringing in your ears. "It's about time you got your ass down here". 

You snickered, shrugging your heavy bag off of your shoulder, and dropping it behind the counter, turning around and greeting him with an unamused smirk.

Jeremy and you had gone out for a few months last year, it was your first and, as of right now, the only short-term relationship that you'd had in college. 

Dating your co-worker, even in a relatively small place like the coffee shop on campus, almost always spelled trouble, but Jeremy was not the type to hold something like a failed relationship over your head. He understood that school was a priority for you and making a living for yourself came first, even above something like a relationship. It might not be the healthiest way to live, but it was how it always was. 

Jeremy and you had developed a fast friendship, one that went beyond the romantic relationship that you'd had last year. You parted amicably and now, you had someone you could confide in, someone you could trust. 

"Why don't you say that to my face?", you teased, raising a brow at him over the milk frother you were setting up. 

Jeremy threw his rag down and stalked over to you. "You're snippy this morning", he chided. 

You banged into his shoulder playfully, "Doesn't help that I have to see your ugly mug first thing in the morning". 

You snorted out a laugh and Jeremy looked at you, feigning defensiveness, "Ouch", he paused, returning back to his post near the coffee machine, "Remind me how we ever went out?". 

You scrunched your nose and threw your rag at Jeremy, hitting him square in the face with it, "That was rude". 

He shrugged his shoulder, "You started it".  

You both devolved into a fit of giggles and fell into a comfortable silence, setting up and getting the coffee shop ready for the day. You had a half-day shift to look forward to and then you had class until the late afternoon. The days were long and the nights were longer.

You usually found yourself nose-deep in your textbooks, more often than not, or some classic novel that was required for class, not moving from the couch until your eyes were red and you were seeing double. 

Only then did you retire to sleep, crashing hard until you had to wake up and do it all again the next day. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The coffee shop had been bustling with people since six in the morning, and at one in the afternoon, it hadn't let up, only now you had to go to class. Waving Jeremy goodbye, you sidestepped Tara, the fourth-year who was covering the rest of the afternoon and closing shift. 

You'd crossed the far side of campus, passing by the science building and one of the massive libraries that had acted like a second home to you back when you’d been studying for exams when you were a freshman. You could thank your obnoxious roommates for that one. 

Entering the lecture hall, bodies pressed into you as you weaved through the growing crowd, trying to find a spot in the middle where you could see and hear your English professor. But also blend in with the masses. As if the universe had other plans in mind, and everyone suddenly showed up to the Tuesday lecture all at the same time, you found yourself picking a seat near the front, an exasperated groan leaving you. 

You hated sitting at the front, not because you didn't want to get called on to answer something or because you didn't know the answers, but because you did. You wanted to get through your four years as quickly and unscathed as possible and if people knew, mainly professors, that you knew more about the subject matter than you needed to, you'd surely get called on more often, making you stick out in ways you didn't want. 

It was a terrible curse, going through life with the self-esteem that you did. But it was how you were raised. Blend in. Don't be too loud. Be quiet and only observe. Nerves rapped at your insides when you thought about getting called on when class started. Your heart rate ticked up and you found that your hands were beginning to get clammy, your throat constricting with each breath.

You rubbed your hands up and down your thighs, grounding yourself with the sensation of the material. 

With a jump, you sat up straighter in your seat, being jostled from your thoughts by a loud slam. You snapped your head toward the entrance, eying the person who had startled everyone. It was a man carrying a briefcase.

Your lips tilted up at the edges, amusement tickling you when you thought of anyone using a briefcase nowadays. But here this man was, head down as he made his way to the front of the room, toward the desk. 

You couldn't help keeping your eyes trained on him. On how his slacks tightened around his butt, moulding to the shape and curve of it. You bit your bottom lip out of reflex, your eyes dragging down the length of the mystery man who had crashed your lecture. Maybe he was a TA? Your brows furrowed when you thought about how your professor was nowhere in sight. 

The man with the briefcase placed his case on the desk, turning to face the audience of students who blinked back at him, who now settled down enough to hear him speak. Air caught in your throat when his eyes flicked momentarily to you, and lingered on you for half a second longer than you'd expected. He had massive, warm brown eyes, and soft wrinkles that danced at the edges of his eyes when he smiled, making him seem more boyish than he appeared.

He looked older than a TA would but then again, who were you to judge someone's position in life? You thought that his age did nothing to undermine just how attractive he was, if anything it added to it.  

The man, who may or may not have been moonlighting as your English TA cleared his throat, nodding his head, "My name is Joel, well, Professor Miller to most, but 've always been a little bit more informal than my peers". 

He began to circle the wooden desk nervously, his large hand finding the edge of it and stroking it far more sensually than necessary. You flexed your fingers, gripping the arm of your seat to stabilize yourself. "So, you can call me Joel from here on out... since we'll be seeing more of each other from now on". 

Murmurs began to break out around the lecture hall, and confused and hushed whispers followed. 

Professor Miller— Joel, mumbled something incoherent, and you were unable to hear it from where you sat. He cleared his throat again, "Professor McCarthy has taken a leave of absence, so I'll be filling in for him for the remainder of the semester". 

You crossed your legs, feeling heat rise and a furious blush break out across your face, and shuffled in your seat, a loud creak emitted from it and you stilled, praying that the loud sound had only been heard by you and no one else. But when you lifted your gaze, Joel's eyes were already locked on you, blown and brimming with cautious inquiry. A touch of a smirk graced his lips. 

"And I look forward to getting to know each and every one of you, personally". His eyes were still on you, not ready to release you from their hold. 

His tongue darted out to wet his lips and you couldn't help but stare. You had every reason to look away from him, he was your professor and given the clear age difference, he was someone who was off limits. But when he didn't look away from you either, trapping you with his gaze, your face heated up, suddenly aware that he was purposely staring at you. 

You swallowed thickly, heart hammering as Joel's eyes finally drifted away from you and back to the faces of your classmates. He continued on with addressing the class, and you noticed that he avoided your eyes for the rest of the lecture. 

Only one thought rang through your mind as you tried and failed to focus back on the lecture. This was going to be one long semester. 

[getmylifetogetherwme]

What Are My Goals? (+ a little backstory)

Hi again!

I figured my next post should definitely center around introducing what goals I want to achieve.

Well, as I said in my last post (which you should read if you want a bit more background on me), I am in my senior year of undergrad, but that definitely doesn't mean I'm done with school. Nope. In fact, the goal is to go straight into a master's program. Then after that, even more academia (yay!), but that's getting too far ahead of ourselves. Let's stick with the near future for now.

I know to get into a good master's program, I have to keep my grades up. That's among my goals for this year: keep those grades UP.

This semester is quite the mess. Not only do I have ochem 2, a subject I am practically allergic to fully understanding, but I'm also taking another god forsaken subject: physics. If you are one of those gifted individuals who just "get it," know that I envy you tremendously. They are the bane of my undergraduate existence. The only thing standing between me and my degree, I fear.

My goal is to get all A's this semester. An ambitious goal (when I consider my history with these subjects, ochem 1 resulted in a B) but one I think I can seriously achieve if I dedicate myself the way I know I can. So there's one goal: Study, study, study. And when I think I'm through studying? More studying.

Another goal I have for myself is working out. I do workout, but I am insanely inconsistent as of late. I want to work out consistently. Not only is it good for me, but I also feel really good when I do it. It just feels good to feel strong, you know. I've been going for a few weeks, and I've seen some improvement already, but I've just been really inconsistent diet wise, so I'm not seeing many results. Let's segway into that: I want to eat better.

And when I say I want to "eat better," I don't mean I want to restrict myself or anything like that. I'm uninterested in becoming this ultra health person who can't live a little. The deal is: chemotherapy affects a lot of things. To be honest, I try not to think about it much, but I do have to wonder how much it'll affect my health later on in life. I know I did what I had to do, but I really wanna lessen the blow of it as much as I possibly can. I think I can do that through diet and exercise, even if it's a fairly small difference. When it comes to my diet, I want to prioritize fiber and lean protein. Protein, of course, because I really would like to gain muscle. So far, I'm very inconsistent with my protein intake. Not only that, but I spend way too much money on eating fast food. I don't want to be too strict with myself, so of course I can get some chicken nuggets every once in a while, but fast food is not as cheap as I think it is in those moments! I swear, every meal is literally like 10 dollars. Am I the only one who remembers when a meal was like 7?? It is genuinely a problem, especially since I should be saving for a car right now. Yikes. So those are some of my diet goals: more protein, more fiber; less eating out.

Another goal: save money. Well, folks, it's time. I absolutely have to save money. I've missed out on so many opportunities because of my lack of reliable transportation. It seriously holds me back from internships, shadowing, etc.. I have a license, but it's hard to always have to borrow my mom's car, especially considering my uni is quite a bit away. So one of my goals is to save up a good chunk of money to buy something used that'll get me from point A to point B. I'm not really the type of person who needs a "fancy" car. I just need something reliable. Something that'll go the distance. I've heard good things about Hondas and Toyotas, but even used, those are a bit expensive. The goal is something in that realm though, so saving money really has to be prioritized.

Finally, I just really want to take care of myself. I've been at odds with myself for a while, my entire adolescence basically. I've just now in recent years (the last two or so) become a bit more "at peace" with who I am + who I've become. Before, I kinda saw my body as this enemy, and now, I'm learning to love it - learning to love me. To do things for myself, because I want to - because I think I deserve to give those things to myself. I don't want to be too harsh on myself about anything, but I want to nudge myself towards the goals I so very badly want to achieve.

These are just a few of the things I am currently wanting to strive towards and accomplish.

My future posts will be about these topics and perhaps other goals. I plan on doing weekly goals, weekly recaps, updates about specific goals, what I'm doing to achieve those goals, etc. etc.. All in the name of accountability. For example, I think it would be really cool if I do posts about how my fitness journey is going, like what sort of progress I'm making PR wise (I'm lifting weights now!). Then, I'll do weekly uploads going through just about everything I studied, read, etc. etc..

If you're interested in reading about all of this sort of stuff, you should give my blog a follow! I'd also recommend you read my first post if you're a bit confused or curious about the purpose of this blog and or myself.

Thank you for reading,

-C

[misano17]

so uhm, might be triple majoring

I walked into college one credit short of being considered a sophomore. My degree is political science and at my college that degree is actually pretty small aside from my engaged experience (study abroad, internship, or model UN + conference). You have to add a minor or second major for the degree for it to count. With a minor only I'd graduate with a bachelors degree at the end of my sophomore year. Anyways this is because I'm taking six classes a semester rather than the recommended 4-5. So after this semester I'll have 17 more credits. Next semester I'll have 18 more. So in total by the end of this semester I'll have 46 credits (30-60 = Sophomore), after my next semester I'll have 64 (60-90 = Junior), then after two more semesters I'll be at 99 (90- + = Senior). So I'll be considered a senior by the start of my junior year.

Anyways in order to actually graduate in four years rather than two I need to have three majors. So rn its Political Science, Philosophy, and maybe Sociology, or Public affairs management. It depends tbh. Rn my class schedules look like a nightmareish hell schedule and I'm having fun picking out my classes

[once-upon-a-pirate-ship]

Emma Swan versus Packing Tape

read my new (short) college au on AO3 here!

or, read it below the cut.

summary: As Emma and the gang near the end of their senior year, her roommate Ruby pushes her towards one last setup (you know exactly who it is)

rated T for language only

1.5k words

you can find my other works on AO3 here.

to people who want to be on my tag list: I'm so sorry but I don't yet have the energy to rejoin the discord and make that list and tack it on here...please forgive me and I'll work on that for next time

Packing tape was quickly becoming Emma’s nemesis. No matter how many angles she tried, she couldn’t get the stupid metal teeth to slice the tape correctly, and every attempt was met with the irritated screech of the roll. 

A groan escaped her lips as she was once again forced to surrender to the scissors, and after flattening the piece against the cardboard, she dropped the tape gun onto the floor. It made a dull thud when it landed on the shitty carpet she still had to clean. 

“Geez, what’d that tape ever do to you?” Ruby asked.

Emma flinched at the unexpected noise, turning to find her roommate staring at her teasingly, her arms folded over her chest and her eyebrows raised. 

“I thought you were at Belle’s,” Emma said as she returned her attention to the now closed box, moving it onto the stack to her right. 

“I’m happy to see you, too.”

Emma rolled her eyes, suppressing a sigh and instead bending to pick up the stupid tape gun. “I’ve just got a lot left to do,” she said, glancing around to find the next box that needed to be filled and taped up. 

“Three boxes, Emma. That’s, like, fifteen minutes. Tops.”

“I have reorganizing to do, Ruby,” Emma replied. 

Ruby crossed to sit on the arm of the couch. “I don’t see why you can’t come to the party with us.”

“Oh yeah, that sounds like a blast. Third wheeling—until you two ditch me to go make out in some frat boy’s room.”

“We wouldn’t do that,” Ruby said. Emma shot her a glare, and Ruby added, “Again.”

“I’m good here, I promise. And besides, I was over the whole ‘college party’ scene like two months ago.”

Ruby released a heavy, dramatic sigh. “Come on, Emma. One last hoorah. David and Mary Margaret will be there, and I know they won’t ditch you to go make out.”

“No, they’ll just gaze wistfully at each other while I stand there feeling ill.” 

“You say that like it’s a new development.”

Emma kept her eyes on the books she filed into the box, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “I’ll be just fine, Ruby. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“We graduate in two days, and then we’ll all be in different places doing different things—grad schools and internships and full-time jobs, and then I won’t have time to worry about you anymore. Let me be pushy and concerned this one last time.”

Emma paused, her fingertip grazing against the glossy book jacket of her favorite novel. Her eyes flickered up to Ruby. “What’s the real reason you’re pushing me on this?”

Ruby shrugged, but it wasn’t nearly as casual as it should’ve been. 

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” Emma snarled. “Really? Again?”

“Emma,” she pleaded. 

“No. No way. I told you last semester, Ruby. No more setups. No more perfectly engineered meet-cutes. I won’t allow it.”

“Last one, Emma, I swear. Then I’ll leave you to your singledom for the rest of eternity. Please?”

Emma glowered at her, though it did nothing to soften the intensity of the pleading eyes Ruby stared at her with. “No way.” She shook her head.

“Please?”

Emma’s jaw clenched, and she let her hand drop from the box. She forced her arms to lock over her chest. “No.”

“Please,” Ruby said firmly.

“What’s in it for me?”

“Other than the possibility of fantastic sex?”

Emma narrowed her eyes. “Ruby,” she snapped. 

“Twenty bucks?”

“You’re so cheap.”

Ruby groaned. “I’m so broke right now, Emma. Fine, okay, I’ll get Belle to bake you those cookies you love so much.”

Emma despised herself for how much that made her pause. “Snickerdoodles?”

“Two batches.”

“Fine.”

“Really?”

Emma was going to get a headache if she kept glaring like this. “Ruby. Don’t push it.”

Her roommate jumped up, bouncing a little as a wide grin spread across her face. “Yes! Okay. I promise you won’t regret this. It’s gonna be so great. Really.”

“If it sucks, I’m still making you give me twenty bucks.”

“And when it’s magical, you can give me twenty bucks.”

Emma’s eyebrow shot up. “What makes you so confident about this one?” 

Ruby shrugged. “I dunno. Just a feeling. I don’t actually know him that well. He’s a friend of Belle’s.”

Emma hummed with the slightest bit of interest, turning back to the box she’d stopped packing. “I gotta finish this if you want me to go out with you guys tonight.”

“Of course,” Ruby replied, slipping around the mini-maze of boxes and heading for the door. 

“Oh, and Ruby?”

“Yeah?”

Emma didn’t look up when she added, “No way in hell are you picking my outfit for this thing. Don’t even try. Consider yourself lucky that I even agreed to go in the first place.”

“But you’re just gonna wear jeans and your red jacket!”

“I sure am. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

-

She couldn’t believe she let herself get dragged into this, cookies be damned. 

She’d never been anti-party, per se, but she’d always been fairly anti-people—particularly when they were obnoxious frat boys who never seemed considerate of people’s personal space even when they weren’t completely drunk. 

Ruby and Belle had made themselves scarce before the end of the first song, but as expected, David and Mary Margaret refused to abandon her, too. 

“He’s late,” David grumbled, looking resentfully at his beer. 

Mary Margaret gave him an admonishing look, a hand coming to pat his arm. “This is hardly a dinner date, David. I think we can cut him some slack for not being punctual to an event with a keg or three.”

David grumbled again, this time emitting a sound that sounded somewhat like “fine.”

Emma resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Look, guys, I don’t need a babysitter. Go, have fun.”

“Emma,” Mary Margaret said.

“We’re not leaving you,” David added, nearly scoffing at the idea. 

Emma took a swig of her beer, knowing that further encouragement would be futile. It took her twenty minutes to give them the slip, which wasn’t her finest work but not her worst, either. She’d had a lot of practice these last few years. 

The wrap-around porch was littered with cans and bottles, but at least it was relatively quiet, enough so that Emma could lean against the rail and relax for the first time that night. She reached up a hand to message at her stiff shoulder—from tensing for an hour straight or from packing all of those boxes, maybe both—and she huffed out a breath, willing her mind to settle. 

Her irritation with her friends was so petty at this point in her life, with only a handful of days left before everything changed forever—who knew when they’d all get to see each other again, when jobs and money and time and life didn’t get in the way, but it was impossible for her to stamp out the frustration she felt because her friends didn’t always understand. They meant well, of course they did, but they were so reliant on their own worlds, their own experiences, so how could she possibly expect them to step outside of their own perspectives and imagine hers? 

A not-so-subtle creak startled her from her thoughts, and she wheeled around to face the figure who’d been the culprit. “Sorry, love,” the accented voice called, “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

Emma’s hand still gripped the porch railing as she watched him move closer somewhat hesitantly. Once he stepped out of the shadows and into the glow cast from the window, she watched him watch her, his gaze studying her, waiting for signs of rejection or any other indication that he shouldn’t cross to stand beside her.

“Is the party that bad?” he asked, a teasing smile curving his lips. “I’d planned to be here an hour ago, though perhaps the delay was a sign I should not have ignored.”

“The party is…” she trailed off, less than enthusiastic. 

“A travesty?”

“Typical,” she amended. 

He chuckled softly, his hand sweeping over the scruff on his chin. “A travesty, indeed,” he said. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have come.”

“Why did you?”

A dark eyebrow shot up, and she didn’t miss the glint in his stormy blue eyes. “I was meant to meet a lass.”

“A lass?” she repeated, wrinkling her nose.

“I’m British, love. We can hardly avoid the word.”

She almost snorted at that. “Love,” she echoed, like the word tasted bad on her tongue.

He huffed, almost exasperated but there was a fondness to it, like he loved a challenge and found her to be the most intriguing one. “What shall I call you, then?”

“Not love, that’s for sure.”

“A name?”

It clicked for her, then. She considered her reply, humming to herself. “I think you might know it already.”

His eyes glimmered with something unexpected. “Don’t tell me you’re—”

“Emma.”

A beat passed, and the air between them stretched taut, stealing breath and heartbeats and thoughts. 

“Emma.” His voice caressed her name, his accent curling around it with warmth. He said it like he knew things about her that he couldn’t have known. “I’m Killian Jones. And I’m terribly sorry I’m late.” The tenderness hadn’t vanished entirely, but the charm had returned, and it made her feel steady again.

“I have a feeling that you’re going to figure out a way to make it up to me.”

[a-dorin]

life update(ish?)

here is a compiled list of my personal life these past few months:

i am currently in my senior year at my university! — i am taking 12 credit hours this semester

i will be taking 17 credit hours next semester so i don’t have to take a class with my 8 credit hour, 320 working hour internship over the summer! (rip me)

i have been working part-time/near full-time hours at a memory care facility & i love it :’)

i do still love star wars, but sadly my adhd has made me focus on a bunch of different medias right now rather than one big hyperfixation

so basically my interests are scattered and all over the place

october 20th will be six months with my bf <3 — i could write a 30 page thesis on why him being the eldest brother of 2 little sisters has made him a good partner

i miss writing A LOT — sadly my social battery is exhausted from school/work/social life balance

but i do want to pick up writing again as a hobby

i miss my mutuals :(

[share-the-damn-bed]

While we're talking about Argyle re: Jancy, I'm also interested about what was going on with them around Hawkins High. Fred talks about Jonathan constantly to Nancy, how much has she talked about Jonathan to him to get that reaction? He knew about their Spring Break plans too, was Nancy excitedly telling him about Jonathan visiting? And Robin calling them an unstoppable power couple even though she didn't know them, like they were some kind of local celebrity couple lol.

Great questions!

I have a lot of questions myself about Nancy’s involvement with the School Paper in general. I really doubt she joined as a senior and got the Editorial position without being involved in the extracurricular for at least a year beforehand. But also we never see her involvement with the school paper in previous seasons (season 3 understandably so). I always thought Nancy developed her interest in journalism as a result of her experiences with the lab/Murray in season 2. But I also think being involved with the high school paper helped her (and Jonathan) get their summer internships in season 3. (This also brings up my big question, did Jonathan join the newspaper with Nancy as a photographer? I think it makes sense, right?). 

So let’s say both Nancy and Jonathan joined the school paper spring semester in 1985 and then landed the coveted internships at the Hawkins Post that summer. This would give Nancy a lot of pull to become the Editor during her senior year. 

If all of this is true, then I think Fred would have noticed Jonathan and Nancy from a far and harbored his crush on her for a long time... or at least since she joined the paper. Once Jonathan moves away, Fred thinks he may have a chance but is disappointed when he realizes they’re still together and now he has been bugging Nancy about it ever since.

I think Nancy is completely professional and doesn’t willingly talk about non-newspaper matters with her team but Fred needles her repeatedly until she gives in. I think it’s less of Nancy talking Fred’s ear off about Jonathan and more of Fred being like “When are you seeing Jonathan next? Oh, you don’t know? All I know is that if I was your boyfriend, I would move mountains to see you, even if I was on the other side of the WORLD.”

If you can’t tell, I wasn’t a huge Fred fan. The actor did a great job portraying him, but I just found him to be a twerp. 

I also wonder if Nancy has told her team the truth about her Hawkins Post experience. Not the supernatural stuff, obviously, but that she was fired and didn’t really get the opportunity to investigate (with permission). Seeing that many of the reporters and her boss died soon after firing her and Jonathan, Nancy ultimately gets to control that narrative. 

It seems, based on ST4, Nancy has at least told Fred that her and Jonathan investigated for the Post and Fred seems to think highly of their experience. When they go to investigate at the trailer park, Fred definitely has the excited energy of “Wow, I’m getting to go on a Nancy Wheeler investigation!”

I still can’t place how that Robin line makes sense. I feel like this season flips back and forth on Jonathan and Nancy being together and the Hawkins crew forgetting that Jonathan exists. I think a lot of this is due to pacing issues that I’ve previously mentioned and this ultimate shift in the show to move from having plot threads that exist and are carried out through out the season to having multiple plot points per character that once the point is achieved, the writers move on to the next point and though these points don’t have to connect, the build up to one plot point contradicts or neglects the build up to the previous plot point. 

But I just find it funny that in season 3, Nancy, Jonathan, and Robin barely interact, save the day together, and then the show implies that Nancy has not interacted with Robin again until shit hits the fan again in season 4. Granted, in season 3, Robin knew of Nancy so maybe she was in tune with any gossip/rumors/general happenings. I don’t see it as a positive though, the rumors of her knowing, I doubt people thought highly of them as a couple due to Jonathan’s reputation. I could see Robin finding out through a rumor surrounding Jonathan and Nancy staying together post-move and planning on applying to college together. 

I think the comment works well but not with Robin being the one delivering it, y’know? Like we know she’s close with Steve but I don’t think Steve had that information either because he and Nancy also didn’t reconnect until shit started hitting the fan in season 4... I mean I guess Mike could’ve told the Party in passing and then Dustin could’ve relayed it to Steve in passing... But I don’t buy that either.

It’s weird. The whole thing was weird. 

[gar-trek]

how is college going for you. you're in communications design or something right? how do you like it?

you can look under the cut if you'd like to see me whine about my life a little

I'm in graphic design, so yeah pretty close. Im a senior now and I'm on track to graduate next year. I don't know how it's going for me, that's a very complicated question. I am not unhappy nor am i ecstatic, i guess there are just a lot of things i wish could have gone differently while i was at school. I thought i'd make lots of friends and move out of my parents house, but neither of those things happened. However, i love the friends i do have and i like living with my parents. So it's fine i guess.

I have a job now too, working in graphic design. It was an internship that was only supposed to last one semester, but they asked me if i would like to come on for part-time work next semester. I also feel very conflicted about this. I don't find my work fulfilling or interesting, and I'm not even sure I'm good at it. when my manager asks me to design something (as opposed to just making edits) she never seems to be happy with what I produce. A lot of the time I feel like despite picking it as my career path, I don't have much of a natural inclination to design. Like in general, I'm afraid I'm just not very good at art stuff, not on the same level as my classmates, some of whom it seems to come so naturally to. So even though i don't feel very good about my job, I also understand that I'm lucky to have it. And I'm really grateful to all my coworkers who have been so welcoming to me and have tried to treat me really nicely. I know lots of people are without work so I don't want to quit. I don't like what I'm doing but at the same time I'm trying to put a lot of effort into maintaining it and really hoping that they take me on for full time once I graduate. It's a really strange place to be in.

[flirting-with-psychology]

REFLECTIONS Answer the following questions:

What is the single best thing that happened in the past year?

2015:  The beginning of the fall semester when I grew a lot more confidence

2016: Studied abroad

2017: Graduated

2018: Moved into the B Flat

2019: Got a boyfriend

2020: Got a car

2021: Got my vaccine

2022: Went to the premiere of Good Night Oppy which I worked on

2. What is the most challenging thing that happened to you in 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22?

2015: Getting over Marble maybe

2016: Getting over Hawaii

2017: Making my 4500 film

2018: The music videos I did

2019: Deciding whether to date my now boyfriend

2020: The entire pandemic

2021: Still the fucking pandemic

2022: Trying to figure out my future with my boyfriend

3. What thing did you learn the most from this year?

2015: Hawaii and Marble

2016: My film class

2017: Also my film class

2018: My film jobs and internships

2019: Starting a relationship

2020: I guess the pandemic

2021: The Nasa footage (or google)

2022: My job

4. What is the kindest thing you did this year?

2015:  I don’t think I’m the one to ask, you’d have to ask people who perceived kindness

2016: Same

2017: Same

2018: Same

2019: Same

2020: Wore a mask

2021: Got a vaccine (though it was mutually beneficial)

2022: Helped my parents with stuff? Helped my friends move?

5. Did you lose any close family member this year?

2015: Nope

2016: No

2017: No

2018: My great aunt died

2019: No close ones, but my grandma’s dementia is getting so bad she doesn’t remember who I am

2020: No

2021: No but my grandma is pretty far gone

2022: No

6. Pick three words to describe 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22.

2015: A learning experience

2016: Single, senior, band

2017: Senior to graduate

2018: Almost an adult

2019: Another year older

2020: Covid, long, stagnant

2021: Covid, jobs, vaccine

2022: Friends, film, trips

7. What did you do in 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22 that you never did before?

2015: Got further than I ever had in my love life

2016: Studied abroad

2017: Moved into a house with roommates

2018: Moved in with male roommates, did an internship

2019: Got a boyfriend

2020: Bought a car

2021: Got a job in my field

2022: Went to a premiere of a movie I worked on

8. Did you keep last year’s resolutions? What were they?

2015: Here we go. Put one happy moment from each day into a jar: YES. Go to the gym regularly: Doing better but still could use improvement. Get a summer job: Yes. Make an effort to eat breakfast: Haha nope. Make an effort to look pretty: About the same as last year. Talk to people more and appear more confident: Yes. Find things to be excited about: Not as much as I want. Find a boyfriend: NOPE. Write more: Not really. Read more: Maybe a little. Have adventures: Some, but not as much as I would like. Initiate things: Yes. Use “I” more: Yes. Be less mean to myself: Yes. Overthink less: No, still working on that. Be proud of myself for trying my best but accept not being perfect: I guess. Take responsibility: More. Be positive and enthusiastic: Still working on it. Carpe diem: Not enough.

2016: I can’t remember lol

2017: I can’t remember what I wrote. Here’s what I’ll do: write my 2018 resolutions so that when I reblog this next year I will know:

2018: Be more adventurous: Maybe? Overthink and strategize less: HA not really. Get a film job: Yes. Eat more vegetables: Maybe a little but still not enough. Go to the gym, like, ever: Yes. Read more: Kinda. Finish my Harry Potter spellbook: Not yet.

2019: Get a boyfriend: Finally did! Be more spontaneous and adventurous: Kinda? Sometimes? Lose weight and eat better: Nope. Read more books: Nope. Finish my Harry Potter spellbook: Not yet. Learn how to work hard: Not really. Spend more time with my friends: Kinda. Love myself, and be someone I love: Not really. Carpe diem: Sometimes. Keep doing the moment calendar and journal: Yes. Earn more money than I spend: Nope. Travel: Yes. Discover new music: Yes. Try new creative things: Yes. Believe in myself: Not really. Learn to be a leader: Nope. Watch more movies: Some. Think about other people: Tried to. Learn how to make mistakes: Kinda.

2020: Get a new job: No. Lose weight and fit into my dresses again: Noope, the opposite. Read more books: A couple. Spend more time with friends: Haha, nope, although I did zoom with them some. Go on dates: Not really. Keep doing the moment calendar and journal: Yes. Try new creative things: Yes, I tried dice making. Take risks even if they cost money: Yes, again the dice making. Make more money than I spend: Actually yes with the stimulus. Make jewelry: Some, and opened and etsy page. Get back to people in a timely manner: So-so. Be more punctual: Nope. Finish my harry potter spellbook and keep up with my character book: Nope. Learn new things: Not enough. Be the kind of person I wish I could be: No. Be more open to ideas: No. Post more pictures online: No. Don’t be such a control freak: Not even a little bit. Worry less about what people think: Kinda. Laugh more: No.

2021: Get an interesting job: Yes. Get my own apartment: No but I moved in with my boyfriend. Get a covid vaccine: Yes, 3 of them. Lose weight: Lol no. Keep doing my sticky notes and moment calendar: Yes. Be less hard on myself: Kinda. Survive: The year’s not over but yes so far.

2022: Finish moving in: Yes, after a scare with a fire in my neighborhood that prompted me to finally get all my stuff together. Get back to normal: Covid wise, yes, for the most part. Lose weight: Not really. Do more crafts: I think so. Read more books: A couple but not as many as I wanted to. Do well at my job: Yes. Hang out with my friends more: Yes. DM a short campaign: No. Keep doing my sticky notes and journal: Yes.

2023 resolutions: Keep doing my sticky notes and journal. Actually lose weight. Stick to my dice workout rewards program. Finally finish my Harry Potter spellbook. Be on time for work. Cut out the time I waste getting ready for bed. Do more creative projects. Read more books. Make the Detroit: Become Human jacket. Spend time with my friends. DM a one-shot. Make friends at work. Clean the apartment. Save a decent amount of money. 

9. Did you travel to any interesting places in 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22?

2015: Went to Las Vegas for my birthday and California with the band and Kentucky to see Paul McCartney.

2016: Went to Italy, went on band trips to California and Texas

2017: Went to London with my mom, went to New Orleans for my cousin’s wedding and hooked up with my 6th grade crush, went to Wyoming for the solar eclipse

2018: Went to Las Vegas for a film shoot

2019: Went to Israel

2020: Went to Harry Potter World in Orlando with my boyfriend

2021: Nothing too exciting but went to Colorado Springs for thanksgiving

2022: Made up for some lost time with trips to St. Louis, Chicago, San Francisco, and New York

10. What would you like to have in 2016/17/18/19/20/21/22/23 that you lacked in 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22?

2015: A BOYFRIEND HAHAHA

2016: Still a boyfriend lmao fml

2017: Still a boyfriend but one that I feel satisfied with. I’m not sure if I’m there with Guacamole. Also he’s not even my boyfriend yet

2018: Still a boyfriend lmao

2019: An interesting job (finally got the boyfriend!)

2020: A job, an apartment, and a vaccine

2021: A fucking break from this damn pandemic

2022: Clarity

11. Do you even believe in new year’s resolutions? Why or why not?

2015: I think they are a good idea, for reflection as much as goals.

2016: Maybe. Idk

2017: Yeah it’s a good idea

2018: It’s always good to try to better yourself and it gives you motivation to do it

2019: It’s a good idea for goals

2020: It’s good to make goals and remind yourself what to work on

2021: Yeah it’s a good idea

2022: It’s good to make goals

12. Do you believe that 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22 had an reoccurring theme for you? If so, which theme and why?

2015: No more than any other year really

2016: More like my entire life has a recurring theme of being single af

2017: Not really

2018: Boys I like having girlfriends

2019: Macy’s

2020: Covid

2021: Still covid

2022: Making up for lost time in the pandemic

13. Do you feel like 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22 went by too fast?

2015: No

2016: It went a little fast, especially now that I’m about to graduate

2017: Not really

2018: Not really, but maybe my youth went too fast

2019: It went by too fast for how much I accomplished

2020: It went by way too slow

2021: No but my youth is going by too fast

2022: I think it went a normal speed but yes my youth is going by too fast

14. Did you fall in love with any new artists during the year 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22? List them.

2015: I fell back in love with Taylor Swift

2016: Collabro

2017: Anastasia the Musical cast, and Hamilton is growing on me

2018: A bunch of musicals

2019: My musicals playlist on spotify has Rent, Dear Evan Hansen, Legally Blonde, Galavant, Hamilton, A Star Is Born, Frozen 2

2020: Fell more in love with taylor Swift, and Come From Away

2021: Olivia Rodrigo

2022: Jake Wesley Rogers

15. Brag about two of your accomplishments in 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22.

2015: I made a couple cool music videos, and I lost some weight after increasing my gym attendance.

2016: I made a short film, Pancakes, with a full crew. I got straight A’s in the spring.

2017: I graduated and I made another short film

2018: I worked on two film shoots and I got promoted at work

2019: I stayed in touch with friends I made on a film shoot, and I got a boyfriend

2020: Bought a car and was the costume designer for a TV pilot

2021: Got a temporary job on a documentary, got a full-time job in my field

2022: Had a movie I worked on premiere, got a friend group

16. What was your favorite movie that came out this year?

2015: The Martian

2016: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

2017: Coco

2018: A Star Is Born

2019: Rocketman

2020: None of them were really memorable

2021: Again there were none that memorable

2022: Good Night Oppy

17. Fill in the blank: In 2016/17/18/19/20/21/22/23 I will ____________.

2015: Get the confidence back that I had in the fall

2016: Graduate college

2017: Start looking for film jobs

2018: Find myself

2019: Find a new job

2020: Survive, please

2021: Rebuild

2022: Lose weight, finally finish the Harry Potter Spellbook

18. If you could fly anywhere in the world in 2016/17/18/19/20/21/22/23, where would you go?

2015: Italy, and I plan to!

2016: London, and I plan to

2017: Scotland or Ireland, and I don’t have any plans to

2018: Maybe that Israel birthright thing

2019: Maybe Ireland or Amsterdam

2020: Wherever has the least amount of covid. Of course that probably means they wouldn’t let me in

2021: An alternate dimension that doesn’t have covid

2022: Maybe Amsterdam, we had planned loosely on that before covid

19. What was your biggest regret of 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22?

2015: Worrying about the future when I had something good rather than just enjoying it

2016: Not trying enough in making friends and making the most out of it

2017: Maybe not getting quite enough out of college

2018: Forgetting or never quite learning how to work hard. That and not asking a cute guy out in time

2019: Not buying that moonstone necklace

2020: Gaining weight

2021: Maybe being mean to my dad

2022: Being unfair to my boyfriend

20. Do you think you’ll be having a better 2016/17/18/19/20/21/22/23 than 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22?

2015: I hope so

2016: I hope so

2017: I hope so

2018: I hope so and I think so

2019: I sure hope so

2020: I fucking hope so

2021: God I fucking hope so

2022: I hope so but I don’t want to get my hopes up too hard

21. Did you make any new friends this year? Lose any friends?

2015: I got closer with some friends :)

2016: I made some new band and film friends. One of my friends from freshman year died.

2017: I almost lost a friend but now we seem to be friends again. I also made some new ones

2018: I made some new ones, and kinda stopped being friends with some of my old roommates

2019: I think I got closer to some friends

2020: I met a few online playing among us, and I probably lost my roommates

2021: I met a couple people from the film shoots and DnD

2022: I got closer to some friends

22. What was the biggest adventure of the last year?

2015: Hawaii, I think

2016: Studying abroad

2017: Moving out and starting to adult

2018: The film shoots

2019: Dating my boyfriend

2020: Harry Potter World

2021: Venturing back into the world

2022: Gradually getting back to normal

23. Did you get cake on your birthday? Presents? What you wanted?

2015: Yeah I went to Vegas which was cool! Got cake and alcohol and presents

2016: I did not get cake but I got IHOP. I got presents, and the football team won the game that day sending us to the PAC 12 Championship

2017: I got pancakes, presents, and maybe I’m starting to get what I wanted?

2018: I got chocolate mousse and presents and I didn’t even know what I wanted

2019: I got cake and presents including one thing I wanted

2020: I got bundt cake and a few things from my wish list

2021: I got fondue and shopping and presents

2022: I got chocolate fondue and presents

24. How much did you change this year? What’s different about you?

2015: Not too much has changed but I think I’m prettier, more confident, braver, and value bravery more.

2016: I’m lazier, gained back the weight that I lost last year, and lost some of the confidence from last year. Wow…

2017: I’m not a student anymore

2018: I maybe lost some of my hope in my love life and felt more set in my ways

2019: I don’t have as much FOMO but I’m also getting more frustrated with my life

2020: Gained weight, got more anxiety

2021: Maybe became more forgiving of myself, started running out of fucks to give, but also still worried about running out of time

2022: Got more relaxed about covid, hung out with friends more

CONFESSIONS

Bold the statements that are true (2015) and cross out (2016) and italicize (2017) and I’m running out of formats so CAPS (2018) and *star (2019) and ~tilde (2020) and =equals (2021) and +(2022)

In the year 2015/2016/2017/2018/2019/2020/2021/2022 I confess that I….

KISSED SOMEONE I HAVE NEVER KISSED BEFORE. +=~*DID SOMETHING I REGRET. *Painted a picture. +*Dyed my hair. Got a new haircut I thought I’d never get before. Wrote a poem. Graduated from High School. Graduated from College. Applied for Graduate School. +RAN A MILE. Ate much healthier. Ended toxic friendships. +=~*GAINED A NEW FRIEND. Gained a new best friend. *Visited a foreign country. =~*LIED. +=~*HAD A FIGHT WITH MY PARENTS. +*HAD A SECRET/KEPT A SECRET. Realized my homosexuality. =~REALIZED MY BISEXUALITY. (OR AT LEAST QUESTIONED IT) Realized my pansexuality. Realized my asexuality. =~*Broke a promise. *Slept under the stars. =~*STAYED UP TILL SUNRISE. ~*PUSHED SOMEONE AWAY. ~*Got in a fight. SLEPT WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER. +~*ATTENDED A PARTY. Got dumped. Got a new piercing/tattoo. Learned that I wasn’t cis gender. Drank underage/used illegal substances. +*ATTENDED A CONCERT. +*ATTENDED A MUSICAL. +=~*TRAVELED TO ANOTHER CITY. *Broke someone’s heart. *Hiding something from someone. +=~*MADE SOMEONE’S DAY. Cheated on a test/homework. Physically cheated on my significant other. +=~*Emotionally cheated on my significant other. ~Quit a job. =GOT A NEW JOB. Learned to hate someone I thought I never would. Learned to be more patient. Saw the supermoon. +~SAW THE METEOR SHOWER.

[thomaskellington]

Introduction to myself

Hey guys! My name is Thomas, but I go by Tommy, and I am a sophomore who is 19 years old. I grew up on Long Island, New York and moved down here last year to start college. I am an accounting major who is planning on transferring to FGCU next semester after I finish my AA at FSW. I plan on becoming a Certified Public Accountant. To do this, I would like to get an internship sometime before my senior year so that I will have enough experience to compete for a job right after I graduate. In the meantime, I am looking forward to taking this class for what it has to offer.

[greydiminishing]

I have about 5 weeks starting tomorrow until my first class in january. I still have projects i want to finish, tons of appointments i procrastinated, and things to study.

Im taking calc based physics (required course) but i havent taken calc in like 3 years, probably barely passing with a D, and havent taken physics since senior year of high school. Im gonna study both calc and physics so im not completely and utterly lost when class starts.

I want to get my portfolio website up and running. Im also studying reactjs to implement in new projects (BHM timeline website, clothes planner) and retrofit in some old ones (studyTime, portfolio maybe). Im taking a web engineering course and i think a segment of that will be learning react, so hopefully i'll be ahead of the game on that.

im trying to implement some kind of time management system since it is VERY easy for me to squander days away. Weeks away, even.

Im going to be planning and time blocking the next 5 weeks with everything i want to get done. I want to find my own system that works for me, and have it down pat before the semester starts. This will also hopefully be good "exercise" for me to get back in the swing of having a schedule and forcing myself to focus on work, after having a year an a half of no strict schedule and not much work.

so the things i want to work on for the next 5 weeks are:

Study College Calculus AB/BC and College Physics 1 & 2 on Khan Academy, maybe even precalc

study and implement react into some easy starter projects, probably a to-do list, then something a bit bigger to add to my resume

practice hackerrank, study data structures and algos

finishing touches on my portfolio website, then figure out the hosting situation

continue applying to internships for summer, maybe for fall

[lgbtq-history-museum-cfl-intern]

The Final Count Down

Sunday 11/26/2023

Technically I’m supposed to be on vacation until tomorrow, but I have some time on my hands and thoughts on my mind.

This is the last day of classes and I’m working on some final assignments: The last touches on a research paper for the capstone course for my Interdisciplinary Studies major, a PowerPoint for the Hands-on History Internship Showcase on Friday, and a reflection on my service-learning hours with the LGBTQ History Museum of Central Florida – again, for capstone.

All I can think about is graduation! I’m so close, I can feel the end nearing!

My nerves are finally dissolving, leaving me with anxious anticipation, and a bit of “senioritis” as I chug through these final tasks.

Once the semester ends, this internship will fulfill the last course credits that I need – pending the History Department’s substitution – to complete my history minor.

Even though UCF has an Interdisciplinary Studies Master’s Program, I’m looking forward to turning in my application for the Public History Master’s Program by the priority deadline (January 15th). I aim to start my degree in the Fall of 2024 and, after learning about another student’s experience from Rollins’ Archival staff, I plan to take one seminar course at a time.

The only exception would be if I’m accepted into the Summer Research Program at UCF, allowing me to earn 6 credits the summer before.

This plan to take things slow is to hopefully avoid burnout and allow me to work with plenty of thought, care, and attention to my master’s degree. I’d also like to have time and energy to dedicate to internships and other forms of hands-on learning experiences like volunteering – maybe even a job that provides opportunities to expand skills that are relevant to public history professions.

Thursday 11/30/2023

Tomorrow is presentation day and I’m first up on the schedule (thank goodness! I’ll get to just sit and listen to everyone else’s experiences for the rest of the time!)

I’m literally functioning on meeting and due dates:

Tomorrow is the Hands-On History Showcase.

Sunday, all of my Capstone Assignments are due.

The following Friday, my final is due.

Then the Friday after that is graduation.

After that, I have about a month until the priority deadline for applications for the Public History Master’s Program at UCF.

That’s as far out as I can think right now.

I’m full of excitement and anxiety, but I’m also hopeful and optimistic!

Most of all, I am grateful, and I plan to spend some time throughout the following weeks communicating that to the mentors who positively impacted my undergraduate journey – pretty much all of them. (I was wondering if I was going to get sentimental leading up to graduation and, finally, here I am typing through calm tears as I reminisce on how lucky I am to have so many wonderful people to reach out to with gratitude.)

I’m glad this is how I chose to spend my final semester. Earlier this year, I was thrown off my path and I was heartbroken trying to piece together a new plan that accommodated my limited capacities as a student living with disabilities.

Now, two weeks from graduation, I stand firmer and more confident in my plans, goals, and desires.

Thank you to the wonderful faculty, staff, and peers who taught me so much along the way! Without their support, I would not have accomplished all that I have throughout my undergraduate career.

See you next Fall as a master’s student! (fingers-crossed)

Friday 12/01/2023

The showcase just ended and that just about wraps up the semester for me!

Everyone else had some incredibly enriching experiences and it was cool to see someone else who participated in the HerStory: Women in History Internship at the Orange County Regional History Center.

It seems the structure of it has come a long way, allowing her to accomplish so much more hands-on work than I had during my time there!

There was a lot of diversity in the projects everyone worked on, so I also learned other ways of being a public historian and doing public history work.

Hopefully, when I enter the Public History Master’s Program at UCF I’ll get to work alongside some of these wonderfully talented individuals!

Thanks for following my journey!

- Marena

[thelasttime]

Next year is my senior year and then my mom wants me to go to grad school and I’m not really sure about that I’ve been looking up study abroad options but it’s not very good for grad school so I’m 🤔

everyone i've talked to about study abroad has always talked about how glad they are that they decided to study abroad. it's definitely a big decision especially you're missing out on a semester of school (ya i know you take classes during study abroad but let's be real here)

i personally didn't study abroad even though my spanish major advisor advised me to study abroad in mallorca because i wanted to take the MCAT before i graduated and i needed to finish up my pre-med requirements.

personally i do think study abroad is very doable as long as you plan it well! it is your senior year, so maybe i would lean on the side of not going because you probably want to spend all of your final moments with your friends but i think if you go study abroad, you would have some really compelling things to talk about during your grad school interviews too. you could also consider doing an internship abroad before you start grad school so you get the best of both worlds!

[online-thoughts]

i’m starting this at an attempt to journal. i’ve tried before in actual notebooks but the thought of being able to pull out my phone and just type whenever i want to seems way more convenient. i’ve never been one to talk about my feelings with anybody, i’ve always found myself to me more of a listener. i’m not really posturing this for anything in particular it’s more so for me to get my thoughts out of my head and into words. i start back up again with my spring semester of my senior year of college in a few days and honestly i’m terrified. yes i’m excited to go back and see my friends, make memories blah blah blah but the thought that these are my last few months before becoming an adult scares me. becoming an “adult” comes with internships, job interviews, living alone, and realizing that life is a lot harder once you leave the comfort of home. recently feelings that i’ve been pushing aside for so long have been resurfacing. i find myself doubting if this is the field i even want to be in, or if i’m even “good enough”. i panic when i think about the question “what if i’ve spent 4 years of painstakingly stressful work to spend my life doing something i don’t even want to do?” the more i think about it the more i can feel the panic rising. now don’t get me wrong there are times when i think i could really see myself doing this and doing it for a long time but i can’t help but wonder if i only chose it because it’s what everyone expected me to, or if i actually enjoy it. i would call it a mid life crisis but i’m only 21 so i don’t think that’s the right term for it. now i know i’m not the only person who feels this way, and each person experiences this at some point in their life, but it’s still scary you know? it’s a scary moment when you realize that a whole new chapter in your life is ready to start so soon, especially when you feel completely and utterly unprepared for it. so tumblr i’ve come to you. maybe this can help me navigate through life and my emotions, and if not, at least i’ll have some good reading for the future.

until next time,

xo

[michpeach]

I'm exhausted but whatever

My daily schedule for the last few months or so has been this:

1) Doing homework at a coffee shop, usually Starbucks because they're everywhere. (8:30-10:00 a.m.) 2) Walk to my internship (I was a student teacher for a high school journalism program) (10-10:30 a.m.) 3) Internship (10:38 a.m.-1:09 p.m.) 4) Walk to my bus stop, because I can't drive (1:09-1:30 p.m.) 5) Clock in at work (I'm an assistant preschool teacher) (2 p.m.) 6) Clock out of work (6.p.m.) 7) Either go home or to my boyfriend's house where I'll eventually fall asleep, almost always involuntarily (6:30-9p.m.) 8) Wake up and realize I have things to do (homework, housework) and work on them usually past midnight (9 p.m.-?????)

Repeat.

On Tuesdays, instead of going to work, I'd go to school (my only in-person class). This afforded me about two extra hours of aimlessly walking around Barnes and Noble with a $6 latte, reading backs of book covers I'd never read.

I loved that time. I used to walk my dog every morning when I worked at a retail job that would maybe give me 8 hours a week. But then, my dad decided I should pay my university tuition on my own and I had to get a job that could give me more hours. Walking my dog was my "me" time, so lately I hadn't had much "me" time at all.

I last-minute decided that I wanted to and was capable of double majoring with American Studies. I really love my AMST classes and they help me feel better about choosing journalism as my major back when I was 17.

But deciding to double major in your senior year is stupid. I'm still doing it because I'm stupid. This semester I enrolled in 18 units. It was a lot, especially because my internship required almost 3 (unpaid) hours of my day and I have to work.

Next semester will be the same, 18 units. I had a time period a few weeks back where I said I’d just drop AMST all together, however, I found out that if I complete the degree, it will serve as “subject matter competency” for the multiple subject (a.k.a elementary) teaching credential program.

Oh, yeah. I guess I haven’t followed up from my “senior year” post. I decided to pursue a teaching career. I already have plenty of experience being in a classroom between my preschool job and the internship. I love working with kids, even teenagers.

That stupid quote gets stuck in my head.

“Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.”

But I know this not to be true. There are really accomplished teachers and professors who just genuinely love to teach. The teacher who hosted me for my internship, for example, was a reporter for the Los Angeles Times, but he decided he wanted to teach English and Journalism. I think that’s awesome.

But the quote does stay in my head. I don’t know why.

Anyway, I’m tired. I never really experienced burnout, if that’s what this is. But I’ll get through it. I always do.

[wiumgtmktg]

Nathanael Adams - Supply Chain Management Major

Conquering an Internship

​Many college students get an internship for one of two reasons. The first reason is that an internship is part of their graduation requirements for their major. The second reason is students want to get professional experience before graduation to improve themselves. I fell into the second reason with being a Supply Chain Management major and having it as a graduation requirement. It wouldn’t have been much of a challenge, except that I had to do it between my sophomore and junior year of college with very few major classes under my belt. You may be wondering why I had to do it then, and the reason is that I am an ROTC cadet. Being an ROTC cadet forced me to complete my internship done early or graduate after the summer semester. The reason for not being able to do it between my junior and senior year is that I have to do a month of training for the Army at Fort Knox that summer.

​Preparation is an essential part of obtaining an internship or future job. I first created an updated resume based on the one I made in MGT 125. The updated resume allowed me to showcase my most relevant experiences and to focus the resume on obtaining an internship. Some key components that were added to expand my resume were a list of relevant course work and a section detailing my ROTC experience. I also had the resume revised by Dr. Honey Zimmerman and Mrs. Michelle Howe to display my strengths to potential interviewers. After completing my resume, I looked into potential companies with internships posted on Handshake at the virtual and in-person Supply Chain Management Day. I looked into some of the companies attending the events and created a list of the ones I wanted to talk to in person or online. Before I went to the in-person part of the event, I printed off 15 copies of my resume to give to the different companies as I talked to them.

​Talking to potential employers can feel like a daunting task, especially if you have never done it for a professional job. The first time I spoke to internship recruiters was during the virtual online portion of SCM Day. That part of the event gave me a general understanding of how to talk professionally and what questions to ask them about the company they worked in. Employers are looking for many different attributes and skills in potential interns and employees. Some of the skills they are looking for can range from soft skills like interpersonal communication to technical skills in Excel. Showcasing your skills and experience is critical to getting interviews with recruiters from job fairs. I believe that using my resume and highlighting my skills as I talked to recruiters during the in-person portion of SCM Day is what helped me get an interview with ADM. The next day’s interview was similar to the conversation I had with the recruiters at the fair but more in-depth about me. They focused on my experiences with ROTC and working at Hy-Vee. The interviewers also asked about certain situations and how I handled them or would work through them if I was in that position. After the interview, they had me apply online to an internship job posting to begin the process on their side to see if I was an eligible candidate. A week later, I got an offer to intern for the company as a transportation intern.

During the beginning of my internship, I was overwhelmed with information and sense that I had no clue about the industry I just joined. My internship with ADM was at one of their subsidiaries called ARTCo in St. Louis. ARTCo is a barge transportation company moving barges full of grain down the river to New Orleans for export. The barge industry is very small compared to the trucking or rail industries, which I had more knowledge of from previous classes. The first week of my internship taught me a lot about the industry, from how a single barge moves down the river, how fuel is purchased, and how barges are put into a tow for a lineboat. Over time I learned the focus of ARTCo for ADM as a subsidiary and in their overall supply chain. I did boat tours, job shadowing, and basic industry training to help me learn about the industry so that I could work on the projects given to me.

My first project was an EPA program called SmartWay, primarily used in the rail and trucking industries. SmartWay measures the environmental efficiency of a transportation company by comparing ton-miles to fuel used in a calendar year. The EPA then ranks companies and gives certifications based on the data submitted by companies, as well as promotes sustainability. The next project I worked on was a vessel-tracking Excel sheet that would track the local boats that worked and calculated a monthly and yearly average of boats working per shift. The program would also calculate missed revenue opportunities by shifts when a boat was not operating. This program could be used to change crewing practices and to set goals for boats in operations. My last project was a document-based program called Policy Tech that aimed to centralize documents and yearly revisions. I worked on the project for a few weeks before I had to end my internship. At the end of my internship, I created a presentation of my entire internship to my work group, other interns, and group managers. At the end of my internship, I was confident in understanding the industry from a base level and the different concerns that companies faced.

Overall having an internship is a great learning experience for any major. The ability to gain experience in the industry helps guild future career goals and adds experience to your resume. Getting an internship can be a complex process that is navigable through the use of resources, creating a resume, and learning about the different companies you would like to intern for. It is normal not to know everything going into an internship or job. If you go into an internship willing to learn and work, you will succeed and gain value from it.