#it’s okay if someone is unhappy

[bugdogg]

Post where I talk about my thoughts on what I want relationship wise cause no ones around to listen rn, I’ll probably delete this post later cause I’m a coward, warning for complaining, I complain a lot. Also uhh I like this picture I took, these flowers are very pretty, love seeing them

I hate feeling desperate, I hate having little needs that can only be fulfilled with another person, it sucks. I went through a whole thing of being someone’s caretaker, trying so hard to make them happy and thinking I could fix them despite being so messed up myself. I know how it feels to be so relied on, I don’t like being in a relationship because of it, I don’t want to feel needed but at the same time it feels nice (using a lighter word for it)

Ik neither is bad, independence and codependenc , if its balanced between the two, but I think the thing I get caught on a lot is that you don’t need one specific person, there are so many people out there why just stick with one for your entire life. It works for a lot of people and I’m happy it does but idk why it feels like it won’t work for me. I think of it like friends, I love my friends, I like being close with them and like helping them and feeling wanted as a friend. But I’m not gonna have just one friend, one person isn’t gonna meet my needs, at least that’s what it seems like.

I considered polyamory but the issue is I don’t wanna feel like I’m tied to anyone, I don’t wanna have to run my life by anyone, I wanna freely be close with multiple people and it wouldn’t bother them if I worked like that. And Ik there’s people who just hook up and all that, buddies who you may be intimate with once in a while but I don’t know how to go about it and the only real way to experience it and experiment.

“We’ll if you wanna have that then go find people who-“ I know that, Ik I should just go looking but it’s scary as hell. I’m young, inexperienced with wading through the safe and dangerous people, I have a hard time finding people like me in the first place, and I’m easily overstimulated by everything so going out to meet people is a little hard.

“Well why don’t you just use an app to hook up or something?” … idk 😐 (I’ve run out of steam lol, I keep calling myself pathetic for my wants but Ik having them doesn’t make u pathetic. I’m just hard on myself ig…)

Anywayyyy, i think I should sleep…. Cause I’m supposed to wake up in 6 hours to go paddle boarding.

Don’t fuck up ur sleep schedule like me, beee betttterrrr

[dykeza]

Ichigo being a stay at home dad who works online is so in character for him actually…… he’s the type of dad to enforce 1 hour of no screen time outside playing in the yard and/or playground. He texts Orihime goofy pictures of Kazui jumping around in some water fixture in the local park and carries him home soaked to the bone and shivering with the biggest smile on his face and then they eat ice cream and wait for Orihime to get home so they can have family game night.

[nyxofdemons]

okay okay. now that ive got the complaining out of my system i do need to say. i recognize that expecting this show to be brilliant all the time is unfair and it IS important to recognize that its really fundamentally a small dark comedy spin off show. in fact i think one of the main reasons this show GETS so much hate is because the long wait between episodes builds up high expectations and fans want it to be amazing and groundbreaking the whole time (ive actually briefly mentioned this before. there's a whole essay in my drafts abt this rn)

all of that said. i WAS deeply disappointed by the episode unhappy campers, but i also recognize this is an episodic situational comedy show, and i'm not gonna hold it against the show or anything. this is very rambly i just. i think its very good and useful to be able to recognize that this show really can be hit or miss and you can be disappointed with it without having to devolve into critic and anti territory (i previously said i still thought it was a good episode, just not for me, but i have since changed my mind. i do think it was a bad episode actually. there were... crumbs? of it? that i thought were really good? but barely and even at this episode's best, NONE of it feels on par with the rest of the show. but again, expecting this show's best to be the STANDARD is not fair.)

i really don't know where i'm going with this i just want to point this out i guess bc i have never REALLY complained about this show before and i don't wanna come across as pessimistic or anti. but i don't think this was a good episode at all and that's alright

[rowanoftheunknown]

I fucking hated the proposal actually

[trans-cuchulainn]

i wish i could convince my brain that my workplace / being at work / doing my job is in fact safe

i know that there are some objective dangers involved (like covid and the fact that i'm the only person in the goddamn building wearing a mask) but emotionally i wish it felt safer so that i didn't feel like i was putting traumabrain through a blender every goddamn day so that it feels the need to spend every evening figuring out what "safe" is all over again (and not always succeeding at finding it at home)

like. i am okay at my job. my boss is fine. it is not an objectively challenging experience and i am theoretically staying vaguely on top of things. And Yet

[naranjapetrificada]

i’ve seen the izzy anti archive post abt how they’re not even excited for s2 anymore bc the “gentlebeardies” have ruined the show for them. like i don’t want to tell anyone how to enjoy their fandom experience but they are very clearly just making themselves miserable by focusing on the part of the fandom that makes them upset and for their own sake i hope they take a break from the fandom and learn to re-love the show again. so to answer ur question, no i don’t think that person is ok sjsgjshf

Right! Life is so short (something this show and many of its fics have made me think deeply about and shed actual tears over) and it's a shame to spend so much time on something that presumably makes them unhappy? Although maybe it doesn't, it's entirely baffling to me so I can only guess.

As for "gentlebeardies" I've seen someone else ask this before but like, did people miss all the interviews where DJ and the cast talk about that relationship being literally the reason the show exists? We've all shipped non-canonically (in fact I would guess the overwhelming majority of queer ships in any fandom are non-canonical) but there's that and there's like, the level of resentment that makes you say "gentlebeardies" are ruining a show for you. That resentment is a little more understandable in other fandoms when there's been queerbaiting because of course you would resent a heteronormative canon there, but the canon relationship here is also queer. It just seems like such an outsized reaction.

Anyway I hope they maybe step away from it all if they need to. I've definitely been in situations before where being super deep in a fandom has taken the shine off the source material, which is always a bummer. In those moments it's always helped me to either step back completely or at the very least, take a break from fandom stuff to reengage with the source material that I liked in the first place. Never let fandom ruin something you love!

[tvrningout-a]

chiyo, formerly a background character, suddenly experiencing main character moments after she was bitten bc that makes her a main character now?? yes and it's the silliest day of clichés and freaking out over inconvenient powers :' ))

[orcelito]

My gorgeous girl has a BASKET now!!!

Ngl it definitely messes with the weight distribution lmao. Im gonna have to get used to it. I'm used to having a certain amount of sway to my biking - comfortably tipping a bit as I go for certain maneuvers bc I know the range of motion that's reasonable for this bike. Except now there's additional weight to the back of it (especially with my bag in it) so when the sway happens it sways More than expected. I gotta learn to take that into account + be careful not to go over bumps too much bc I don't wanna jostle my shit outta the basket lmfao.

I've also realized how much I'm used to my backpack acting as a counterweight as I bike. It's been hell on my shoulders, aka most of the reason I wanted a basket in the first place, but it's what I'm used to. I have to hold myself up more purposefully, rather than relying on the weight of my backpack to drag me back & holding myself in place via the handlebars. Obviously not hard to account for, but it took me by surprise while I was biking. I felt a little bit naked lol & kept having to look back to make Sure my bag was still there.

Might invest in buckles or smth to strap my bag in with. My brain doesn't like not having the constant reassurance that I still have my bag. Idk, I'll figure it out.

In ANY case, look at my gorgeous girl. Her name's Jade btw, I don't think I've ever mentioned my bike's name before. Jade for the green of her frame bc it was just what stuck out to me when I got her in uhh. It was like 2018 I think. She was a secondhand bike & she's needed some fixes over the years with how much I ride her, but she's still such a wonderful companion. I love her sooo much

[meliteles-tits]

Wow I wonder why Hcav is leeching the Witcher???

Oh wait mystery solved.

[llycaons]

tgcf would have been a bit sad and empty without hc but imo mdzs/cql would be abjectly miserable without lwj

[irisseireth]

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[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

holy shit there is an a r g u m e n t happening in the next apartment over

[omgsomeonesomewhereonearth]

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[knifegremliin]

btw if anyone was wondering my wrists are still shit.

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[neverendingford]

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