#it'll all be worth it

[black-and-yellow]

So nobody was going to tell me about the cutscene thing in Ultra Impact where Midnight takes Eri out shopping. I just had to find it myself through a random YouTube video. I see how it is.

[sillysonglyrics]

"And the dominos fall Lined up and carefully placed Stacked one by one down the hall Crashing with purpose and grace"

-It'll All Be Worth It by Sushi Soucy from Rockabye (Original Cast Recording)

[diegopenate]

It'll all be worth it

That's what I always tell myself.

She'll be here one day.

My person.

Every song will be about her.

She will love every meme I send even the corny ass ones.

She will roll her eyes at every terrible joke but smile and giggle all the same.

She will flirt right back when I'm being a horny little fuck.

She will remind me not to be such a horny lil fuck lol.

She will kiss me back when I kiss her.

She will cheer me on and when I fail she will be there to console me.

She will learn my favorite song and I will learn hers.

She will be all I think about when I feel it all well up inside.

But for now, I'll let the feelings well up and let them slide down my face.

For now, I'll keep dreaming about her.

Seeing her in every pretty girl.

In every moment of genuine love.

In every love song, I belt at the top of my lungs singing alone in the car.

I'll keep looking for her. Even tho I probably shouldn't.

[thebisexualmandalorian]

RELATED TO MY LAST POST

oh my god puberty 2.0 sucks just as much as 1.0.

I'm fucking suffering y'all. My voice keeps cracking into a falsetto, my acne is back, and while I absolutely do not regret for a second starting T, it's an adjustment.

[themaddierthehatter]

Ya know, past me was reeeally ambitious when it came to this whole Vtuber thing. Ah yes, make a model, rig it, and boom, ya done!

Oh you sweet summer child..

[stopbeatingmetothatusername]

just finished printing atyd book 1... it took me WEEKS and many ink cartridges and i still have to bind it but you know what? anything for our moony

[benetnvsch]

gacha games stole my personality

[librathefangirl]

WIP Wednesday

Tarlos Timer AU

I just started this fic, but I'm really excited about it. So, here, have the first part of chapter 1. (Warning: panic attack).

The thing about Soulmates is that everybody has one. There’s nothing magic about it, it’s just a fact. Sure, not everybody gets their happily-ever-after story. Some do, some don’t. Soulmates still make up about 35% of all divorces. Some people never even meet their Soulmate.

Then there are people like Carlos.

Even more than the fairytale-esque Soulmate story, Carlos has found that people live for the tragic ones. The person born with a dead timer, with a dead Soulmate. The person who finds their Soulmate in a hospital, at death’s door. The person who doesn’t realize someone’s their Soulmate until it is too late. The ones whose timer stop.

Growing up, Carlos remembers his cousin always hating her timer, talking about how awful she felt seeing her Soulmate’s life tick away. Carlos had never seen it like that. The tiny timer on his wrist had never been about his Soulmate’s inevitable death. It had always felt so full of life, each tick proof that his Soulmate was out there somewhere, living his life. Carlos had always thought that his Soulmate was someone who lived his life to the fullest, each moment a new adventure. Someone who saw it all, did it all – unlike Carlos, who was stuck at his parents’ ranch dreaming about the day he’d feel the timer pulsate under his Soulmate’s touch.

Never had he imagined it would just be a dream.

-X-

The Day came with no warning. No sign or hint or anything to indicate what was about to happen. Carlos was in the breakroom at work. He and Mitchell was talking about something stupid, something that in a moment wouldn’t matter anymore. Soon nothing would matter except the timer on his wrist. He was just grabbing his coffee – gaze on his wrist like it always was – when there was a hitch in the numbers. A brief moment where it looked like the numbers would change.

Carlos froze where stood. The coffee still held at an arm’s length from his torso. He stared horrified as the numbers hitched again. Then they all blurred. You couldn’t make out a single number. Carlos held his breath. Seconds passed. Mitchell might have said something, Carlos couldn’t tell. All that mattered was the timer. Then it became clear again.

00:00:00

Awful, awful, horrible numbers staring back at him. They didn’t change. His Soulmate was dead.

Distantly, Carlos could hear Mitchell asking if he was okay, what happened, what was wrong. Then she stopped. He knew she saw his timer. The stupid, horrible, awful, ugly, cruel, terrible timer.

The cup crashed to the floor, showering their feet and legs with tiny sharp pieces and burning coffee.

“Shit!” Mitchell cursed, jumping out of the way. Carlos didn’t move. He stared at his hands – the dead timer still glaring at him hauntingly – as they shook violently. God, no, please, nonono, this couldn’t be happening.

“Carlos, you need to breathe.”

He couldn’t. His Soulmate was dead. It felt like someone was squeezing his throat. His Soulmate was dead. God, it felt like his heart would explode. His Soulmate was dead. Would Carlos die too? His Soulmate was dead. Vertigo threatened to floor him. His Soulmate was dead. Was Carlos dying? His Soulmate was dead. His stomach twisted. His Soulmate was dead. Cold filled him. His Soulmate was dead. Did it matter if Carlos died? His Soulmate was dead. Dead, dead, dead. His Soulmate was dead.

-X-

Carlos had struggled a lot with panic attacks as a child, but he hadn’t really had one in years. Not until The Day. In the middle of the break room. Half the precinct saw him. The rest still knew soon enough. His captain had showed up afterwards. Or maybe earlier, he wasn’t sure. She told him to go home, to take as much time as he needed. Paid leave, just like Mitchell had gotten after her father died.

The captain had spoken in a tone that Carlos himself had used so many times. With victims on calls. People who just had the worst experience of their lives. Someone who was raw from it all, maybe even on the edge of breaking.

Mitchell drove him home. They didn’t speak. Carlos didn’t know if he could even find the energy or care to do so. Then just before he was going to close the car door, she stopped him. Her eyes were wet and her face sympathetic as she told him, I’m so sorry, Carlos.

I’m sorry for your loss – another aspect of Carlos professional life that suddenly had been turned against him. That had become his own reality. The loss of a person he’d never even met.

-X-

Carlos spent one week home alone. He didn’t tell his parents. How could he? His love life had never been a subject they spoke of, not since he came out. And now it never would be. Not in the way it should. Not with his Soulmate.

Mitchell had looked skeptical when he returned to work, asking if he wasn’t rushing it. Maybe he was. He knew better than to underestimate grief, but did he even have the right to grieve a man he didn’t even know the name of. Mitchell thought so for sure. Carlos wasn’t sure. He just knew he couldn’t do the home alone thing anymore. He just wanted things to be normal again.

Of course, they never would be. His Soulmate was dead. He just thought work would be a little more normal than not. He should have known better. Everybody knew what had happened on The Day. When he walked into the station people avoided his gaze, stared at him with sympathy – or worse, pity – or offered their condolences.

Even on calls things were different. Carlos had been talking to an older woman who’d just been through a horrible ordeal. Bank robbery, security guard shot and in critical status. Yet the moment she caught sight of his timer, the roles had switched. She had placed a comforting hand on his wrist, looked him in the eyes with a sad smile, and told him he’d be okay too.

Constantly wearing long sleeves wasn’t something Carlos particularly enjoyed in the Texas heat, but it was better than the alternative. Eventually, his grief stopped being the elephant in the station, and as long as people weren’t reminded by his timer things turned more or less normal.

On the outside anyway. Inside, Carlos still felt broken.

-X-

Carlos had grieved for a man he’d never know for a few months when TK Strand came crashing into his life.

[lucdoodle]

wip (it's one of the frames for the animatic)

[waveoftheocean]

day after tomorrow

(whee finally posting the finished version of this piece! i originally designed it for a cd charm where you can rotate wolfwood like the gif but then i figured there should be a still version too where you can pretend everything is happy and nothing hurts :))

[notsad]

Driftcells animatic :)

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

I never really share anything personal on here because I'm a pretty private person, but there's something so profound about getting passed down my Grandpa's old camera collection.

Like what do you mean he took pictures of my Grandma with them 30+ years ago? That the A-1 Canon that's now in my room was the camera that took my parents' wedding photos? I stuck a roll of film into the same place he did? The thought of him loving photography as much as I do is the most tear-jerking emotion I've ever experienced even if we're not that close.

I just got the A-1 Canon working again after upwards of 20 years of being unused and sitting in a cupboard. Hearing the shutter go off as I took a picture of my dog was something special, and I don't even think I can describe it in a way that makes sense. It was like I was holding my own family history in my hands.

I was genuinely surprised it was in such good condition in the first place - I barely had to do anything other than look over it to make sure nothing was broken and mess with a few areas of concern. My grandpa kept his A-1 in immaculate condition despite his pretty bad health; the same with his other cameras as well.

As much as I want to keep them all in a glass case and have them stay perfect, I can't imagine not using them the same way he did. Of course, up until I have to retire them for my own kids to use one day in just as pristine a state.

[stellaluna33]

I baked three (3) separate cakes today because the idea my kid thought up for their birthday cake was a "Neapolitan" cake, like the ice cream flavor? So... I made a strawberry cake layer, a vanilla cake layer, and a chocolate cake layer, and then I'm going to stack 'em up with buttercream frosting of the corresponding flavor (thankfully I had leftover vanilla buttercream in the freezer from the LAST birthday cake I made, so all I have to do is add some of the strawberry purée I made today to half of it!), and then tomorrow I'm pouring chocolate ganache over the whole thing! We've never done this one before, but I've got a good feeling about it!

[serasfanfiction]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

The next few days were peaceful. The kind of peaceful Lucifer hadn't experienced since the Hotel was in the process of being rebuilt. He hadn't realized how much stress Alastor was causing him until he backed off.

Lucifer might even have gotten a full nights sleep last night! That hadn't happened in an especially long time!

(He wasn't thinking about the fact that his sleep had been haunted by the caress of teeth along his neck or glimpses of red, red sated eyes.)

The images threatened to steal his attention, even as he tried to bury them down with all the other things he was refusing to think about at this point. He forced himself to pay attention, tuning in as Charlie said, excitedly, "She's already spending half her time here! It's really only a matter of time before she agrees to join us full time!"

The campaign to get Cherri Bomb to join the Hazbin Hotel had been having mixed results since the fight with Adam and her participating in the rebuilding. She was clearly here mostly for Angel, but it seemed that the other denizens of the hotel were growing on her. Charlie was correct in that the cyclops spent just as much time at the hotel as she did were ever else she landed when she wasn't with them. She even had a room of her own, even if she didn't officially claim it. It definitely helped it was right next door to her best friend.

Lucifer patted her shoulder. "She'll come around in her own time. Remember, for this to work, they have to actually want it."

Charlie placed her hand over her father's, biting her lip and near bursting with excitement. "I know, but it just feels like we're so close! It'll be so great when she agrees."

"Yes, but in the meantime, we'll just continue to make her feel welcome." He smiled at her proudly. "Which you're already doing so well at!"

Charlie's returned the smile, pleased with his feedback.

The moment, like so often when one lives in Hell, was suddenly and abruptly interrupted by the entire building shaking.

Angel appeared on the landing of the second floor, the one that overlooked the main entrance and foyer. "What the hell? We haven't had any shady guests lately, have we?"

Alastor stepped out of the shadows near the entrance, a loud boom ringing out as something large and heavy hit the door.

Lucifer was suddenly glad he had reinforced the structure. It wasn't impossible that someone could break in through brute force, especially if someone was extremely determined, but the sheer effort would give the hotel guests ample time to mount a defense.

Loud shouting came from outside, words unintelligible through the thickness of it. Alastor ignored the hostile aura premating from outside as if he couldn't even feel it, throwing open the door.

"Oh my, you are quite annoying," he greeted the group at their door. The two fellas up front, stooges and the muscle by the look of them, were holding a large battering ram. Alastor eyed it distastefully. "Whatever business could you have with us that is worth all this racket?"

A nervous looking demon cleared his throat, unwisely drawing the Radio Demon's full attention. "We." He swallowed, complexion growing paler the longer Alastor stared at him. In a rush, he stated, "We were sent here to send a message!"

The radio host tilted his head to the side. "Message?"

The group glanced at each other, clearly psyching themselves up. Nodding, the 'leader' proclaimed, "Yeah, 'give up this shitty mission, or else.'"

"Or else what?"

The group collectively drew their weapons, an assortment of guns and knives. "Or else we're going to have to use force."

The widening of Alastor's grin should have been a warning. Lucifer would have felt bad for the little idiots for not seeing the flaming pile of shit they had just stepped in, but they were in the process of threatening his daughter and that was just a big no go for him.

"Oh, you really don't want to do that." Lucifer came up to stand beside Alastor, hands coming up in a shooing motion. "Like, seriously. Go back to whoever sent you and tell them they don't get a second warning."

The leader blinked down at him. He must have been new to Hell, because he asked, "And who are you?"

"Oh, little ol' me?" Lucifer's wings and horns appeared in all their full glory. "I'm the Devil, bitches."

The group barely had time to do little more than gape before they were sent tumbling arse over head from a powerful gust of wind, curtesy of the before mentioned wings. Fully prepared to rough them up a little before sending them on their way, Lucifer stepped out of the hotel.

Only to be halted by something wrapping around his waist. He glanced down at what appeared to be a shadow about the thickness of a vine. Now, where had that come from?

"Now, now, your Majesty, that won't do."

Ah, yes. Of course, it was one of Alastor's shadow tentacle things.

"Oi! Put me down!" The blond protested as he was picked up and then deposited on one of the second floor balconies.

Alastor didn't bother looking back at him. His tone was that of a parent talking to a particularly petulant child as he ordered, "Why don't you stay up there for a bit? There's really no need for you to get involved."

Lucifer had half a mind to take not just the goons out, but Alastor as well, but ultimately decided to let the Radio Demon have his fun. Besides, he was looking a little peckish lately. "Just leave one alive so they can tell their boss to back off!"

Down below, Charlie chimed in with, "Or we could leave all of them alive?"

Alastor near cackled as he grew in size, the invaders suddenly realizing they were in serious danger and attempting to make a run for it. Shadow creatures began to rise out of the ground, breaking off their get away. "Nonesense!" Alastor disagreed cheerfully. "Everyone mysteriously disappearing is a much more delicious way of keeping people on their feet!"

Lucifer rolled his eyes. Oh, he bet it was 'delicious.'

A noise behind him drew his attention. Lucifer looked over his shoulder, finding himself eye to eye with a wolf demon he'd never seen a day in his life. Especially not one that had no business sneaking into the hotel with a knife he was clearly intending to use.

They started at each other for a long moment. The guy must have been an idiot, because he apparently decided he wanted to take his chances and attempt to stab the King of Hell himself.

Lucifer reached up, fully intending to catch the blade. Under normal circumstances, weapons made in Hell couldn't hurt him and would have just shattered on contact.

But this blade wasn't just an ordinary blade made it Hell. Lucifer realized it must have been made from Angelic Steel when the knife cut straight through his hand like a hot knife through butter. He winced, despite himself. Somehow, he'd forgotten how much that could hurt.

The wolf demon made the mistake of not pressing his advantage, seeming to think that the pain of something as simple as a knife through the hand would be enough to make the first being to ever lead a rebellion against a real army to pause. Oh no, all it did was infuriate him.

Lucifer pressed his hand down the knife further, allowing him to take hold of the hilt. The demon's grip went slack with shock, allowing the blond to wretch it out of his hand. With his good hand, Lucifer yanked the offensive object out, carelessly tossing it onto one of the other neighboring balconies, where it would be of little use during this battle and could be retrieved later. "Oh, that was a very poor decision." Giving no quarter, he darted forward to wrap his hand around the demon's throat, wings flapping to give him the hieght to do so. "Tell me why you're up here, before I decide to be rid of you regardless."

The wolf grunted, hands clawing uselessly at his arm. He managed to choke out, "Like we said: we're just here to send a message."

Lucifer looked down at where Alastor was rounding up the last couple of stragglers, tossing a third into his mouth. The little nervous demon from before appeared to have peed himself from fright. The seraphim turned back to his captive. Something told him that those boo zoos were a mere distraction and this was the real leader of the group. Shaking him a little, Lucifer demanded, "Who sent you?"

A sneer came in response. "We're just for hire. We get a call and we do the job, no questions asked."

Lucifer realized he wasn't going to get anything of use out of this guy. And since he was likely the only real threat of the group, the blond didn't feel comfortable letting him be the return messenger.

A beat of his wings had them air born, bringing them to hover over Alastor, who's ears perked up as he realized he was about to get another morsel. "Whelp, in that case, it sounds like you're useless to me. Guess I'll just hand you over to the Alastor--"

"W-wait!" The wolf demon frantically choked out, "Isn't this p-place for s-second chances! Your d-daughter believes in that s-shit, doesn't she?"

Lucifer's eyes narrowed. "You're right. My daughter does have a gift for seeing the best in people, even when there isn't any. But me? My curse is that I'm damned to always see the worst in all of you." Between one blink to the next, he let his form bleed into it's most demonic, hellfire igniting and his broken halo taking form as the true crown of Hell manifested. His True Eyes opened along his coat, Seeing right through this worthless soul and all of his sins. "Tell me, honestly, do you regret, even a little, for pushing Elizabeth in front of that train? Did you care in the least that her husband only had a handful of voicemails to remember her voice by? That her son grew up without any memories of his own mother?"

The wolf demon gasped for breathe, eyes wild. "The- the reporter? I had to kill her." He squirmed and yanked to no avail, Lucifer's hand like steel around his neck. Frantically, he added, "She was no-no one! She- she was going to ruin everything!"

Lucifer sneered. "Wrong answer."

Without hesitation, he opened his fist. The wolf demon shrieked as he fell, the shrill sound abruptly cutting off as Alastor closed his mouth around his treat.

The nervous little demon, perhaps smarter than they gave him credit for, took advantage of the distraction to make his get away. Alastor let him in favor of watching his king, eyes alight and calculating.

Lucifer hovered above him, every one of his eyes trained on the sinner below him. He realized that while he had seen Alastor in his full eldritch form during their first meeting, this would be the first time Alastor was seeing him in his own full demonic form.

Alastor, like in every aspect of his life, neither blinked nor cowered. He brought up a hand, the motion that puppet slowness he'd showed when Lucifer had manifested the pair of deer ears. He brought it up until it hovered just below the Devil's feet.

Lucifer squinted at him, not trusting that if he let himself land in Alastor's hand, the latter wouldn't just drop him out of spite.

He never found out either way, as he became distracted by Charlie's alarmed shout of "Oh my goodness, Dad!"

Alarmed, Lucifer spun around, his demonic features melting away into his normal appearance. "Charlie? What's wrong?" He came down to land in front of her, reaching out to make certain nothing had gotten past them to hurt her. "Are you okay?"

Charlie grabbed onto his hand, causing him to wince. Horrified, she cried out, "Forget me! Your hand is hurt." She hissed as she assessed the full extent of the damage. "Oh shit, it went all the way through!" She twisted around to shout back at the other behind her. "Vaggie! Bandages!"

Lucifer held up his free hand. "It's fine, sweetie, really. It'll heal up in no time. Really, I'd be more worried about any survivors. Alastor is way too enthusiastic for a guard dog." He glanced over his shoulder at Alastor, who had shrunk down to his normal size. Lucifer caught a glimpse of a gold coated tongue past the the hand the red head had up to his mouth. Lucifer found himself reassessing if Alastor had been offering him a hand after all or if he had just been taking the opportunity to get another taste of angel blood.

Judging by the pleased look on the deer demon's face, and the fact that he was letting 'guard dog' comment slide, it was most likely the latter.

And this was why Lucifer had trust issues when it came to this little shit.

Charlie tugged him towards the inside of the hotel, saying something about bandaging his hand. He was forced to break eye contact with his rival or keep his daughter from carrying on with his fretting. Really, it was all too much. It would take longer than the usual for injury to heal - the scar would barely be noticeable in a few days! - there was really no need for all this fussing! He even tried to say as such, which turned out to be a bad idea, because now Charlie was making sad eyes at him and really he was just going to be quiet and let her do her thing because it was so much better than her crying.

In the mess of the clean-up, Lucifer completely forgot about the angelic blade.

tbc

Part 5

[hauntzbin]

i feel like it's pretty safe to assume the people who say Chaggie is toxic because of Vaggie's attachment to Charlie haven't really been deeply in love before, especially not in a situation where their partner literally saved their life.

Sure a dynamic like that could go sour if you become too overbearing/demanding or controlling out of fear of losing them, but Vaggie is very obviously not that?

I can't exactly put the feeling into words, it's sort of a situation you have to experience in order to understand. But when you owe someone your life, especially when it feels that person is also your soulmate, of course you dedicate the rest of it to making them happy and giving unyielding support. Of course you feel like you owe them the world, because they're your whole world and the only reason you're even still here.

Yes it can create a power imbalance and your partner could take advantage of the obsessive loyalty that level of dependency breeds, but Charlie chooses not to because shes not abusive and she respects and loves vaggie.

Charlie recognizes that Vaggie has self worth issues and places her value in how useful she is to her, and instead of making it into a toxic situation charlie takes the time to reassure vaggie that she doesn't need to be 'proving' herself and that she is loved and valued as she is.

[ceaseless-rambler]

I don't know how anyone can sit there and say that humans are inherently evil, I don't believe that anyone is inherently anything but. Sometimes you and a stranger in a grocery store are both looking for the same item and you talk a bit and they tell you about their grandmother's recipe and exactly where the other thing you're looking for is. And sometimes someone in the pharmacy line tells you you're beautiful. And sometimes you cry at a queer history panel and a woman you've never met hugs you. And sometimes you're 16 years old panicking because you've had your driver's license for three months and your car broke down in the middle of the road and it's dark and you're alone and someone asks if you're okay and drives off and comes back with emergency flares so no one hits your car. And sometimes an 80some year old lesbian tells you that you have to live, and she's right, isn't she? When she says that there will always be something on the the other side of this cloud, when she says you'll find the people who make it worth it. She's right. And those people are close friends, chosen family, partners, but they're also the the kid at the store who tells their mom you're beautiful, and the person who helps you catch your hat that blew off your head, and the person gesturing at you through a restaurant window to say you have cool hair. And I don't know how you can go out and live and talk to people and still tell me that everybody is inherently evil when there is so, so much good out there.